#I didnt get anything Elvis related

[just-another-boring-bisexual]

Get yourself a boy that'll take you to an out of town flea market.

[rayroseu]

THE MAJESTIC EXCELLENCY HERSELF 😍😍😍😍💚💚💚💚 also maybe its just me but is it a reach to hope that an ACTUAL Disney villain can cameo in TWST?? 😆 You know like how Mickey randomly appears before us akjdkss

Also i find it interesting how Yuu immediately got up to go to the Maleficent Statue after concluding the dream as "Maleficent is being left out..." She reminded him of One Guy lol 😭 Also Yuu lore crumbs that theyre finally catching up that their dreams is related to the next overblot lol

ALSO AAAAAHHH SEBEKKKK 💚💚💚✨✨✨ I missed hearing his "human!!" FULLY VOICED✨✨✨ Haruki Ishiya san... thank you 😭💚💚💚

I love his attitude change LMFAO and Silver being the polite person he is insisting Sebek to apologize and Sebek just doesnt lol... SOBS... Also agree with Grim lol Diasomnia literally the most dramatic dorm lol

Also I find it so funny that "Malleus evil smile" expression is his Happiest Expression LMFOAOAOA He's thoroughly AMUSED by Yuu calling him Hornton in front of Sebek (of all people) without hesitance 😭😭

Ohhh Malleus loves chaos alright ✅✅✅💥💥 and his family and friends getting along...😭😭💕💕💕

Also the part where the npcs talked about him broke my heart aughh...

He's just talking with his classmates and everyone is already whispering how "he shouldn't be in this school he's going to curse everyone" (OKAY maybe theyre going to be right about that in a few more updates butksjdjs) But aaa knowing the fact he has superb hearing skills.... I like to imagine he's hearing these rumors while talking to Yuu and the knights but he's just ignoring the rumors since there's a few peopke who are treating him like a normal person right now 😭😭

I LOVE HOW THIS IMPLIES LILIA RELIES ON SILVER THE MOST TOO!!! He couldve asked Sebek or Malleus since theyre the people with no sleep problems... but nooo he insisted on Silver waking him up!! AUDGAUHS I thought he's a general who focuses on efficiency... 😭😭 He just wants Silver to wake him up... i know you lilia 🔍🔍🔍🤨🤨

I am in good pain... considering!! in Book 7!! Lilia repeatedly appears to be a reliance for Silver whenever he feels hopeless... I CANT. Lilia is just like more lowkey about how much he actually relies on his son 😭😭💚💚

ROOK BEING IN THE RUINS TOO IS SO FUNNY LFMAOOO THATS ONE OF MALLEUS' TOP INTERSHIP LIST??? ITS LILIA'S P.E VIGNETTE ALL OVER AGAIN LMFOAOAA HE'S GONNA HARASS MALLEUS DOWN IF THEYRE COWORKERS AHFHAHDHA

Imagine them in the ruins and finally Malleus has someone who is enthusiastic about ""boring facts about Gargoyles and Abandoned Ruins"" but its just... got to be THIS GUY Rook Hunt... who once tried to playfully harm Lilia lol

Malleus and Rook Duo is actually so funny though 😂😂 It still cracks me up that Malleus was once invited on Rooks Bday but he didnt attend cuz he's annoying to him and most notably Rook is not even hostile to him??? He just didnt attend bcs he hates his guts omg😭😭💥💥

This fact is so weird to me... What do you mean that some teeth just becomes an automatic RADIO under the right conditions????😭 Is this a foreshadow to Zigvolts Dentistry??? 😳⚡💚✨✨✨

Can a fae teeth play Elvis Presley just by opening their mouths...?? You know like Stitch acting as a phonograph... 😂

But I doubt??? They have radio towers at Briar Valley so it probably doesnt happen????? But It'd be pretty funny if Briar Valley radio just play bardcore music and one poor fae was "cursed" to have "magical radio teeth" playing bardcore everytime lol

My first thought was "Sebek!!!!✨✨✨" here actually 😭💚 Since he's the only freshman we're missing rn...

But I was surprised Yuu thought of Malleus??? That just further implies Yuu recognizes him as a friend that'll help them too 😭😭😭

Its just precious to think that someone finds Malleus reliable, he'll be so happy to assist Yuu if they're having trouble with anything just like how he enthusiastically offered to explain more about the Thorn Fairy since Yuu is curious about it...😭💖💞💖💗💕 I love them to BITS OMFG...

(I'm sad that Yuu is going home too but I'm ignoring that lol🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ Yuu is a self insert theyre supposed to speak MY language of staying with Mal-)

Its devastating that the freshmen are so hyped up to be working together THEY ARE NOT PROCESSING THE IMPLICATIONS OF YUU GOING HOME... 💔😂 if Yuu truly goes home, theres no reason for them to be gathering like this on the cafeteria anymore... 😭😭💔💔 Making myself sad that they'll buy an extra plate for them during lunch break and not even Grim touches that food... just to honor their friend😭😭😭

Wait so we know that the first night in "sleepover to discover Mickey" consists of Deuce and Ace as Grim and Yuu's companion...

Maybe the next nights (without Malleus' overblot interupption) consisted of Epel and Jack, and then possibly Ortho and Malleus??? (since Ortho is the one who suggested that therell be a fae)

Oh but Im going to cry if at Book 7's ending consisted of Yuu inviting Malleus for a sleepover at Ramshackle despite what happened... 😭😭😭 and and like the stars aligning appears once again but this time he's not at ruined Ramshackle missing his friend... He's at a peaceful sleepover with a friend group auGh... 😭😭😭💖💕💞💗💞💗

[eviltheleon00]

❤ BATFAM - What Halloween Costume Would They Wear?

. . . . . ╰──╮not a request just something i wanna do ╭──╯ . . . . .

𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱: what halloween costume would the batfam members wear? includes bruce, dick, jason, tim, damian, alfred and barb(+a bonus of wally and commissioner gordon) 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: none. please keep in mind that these are my headcannons, the characters are most likely very ooc.

words: 809

>: ̗̀➛ bruce bruce would be more casual during the halloween season, hes not a hardcore halloween fan now hes older but he doesnt hate it either. if it werent for his thousands of kids he probably would forget about it all together. as for a costume bruce would not want to wear one, despite having loads of costumes from his playboy days.

it didnt matter what bruce wanted though. his kids and alfred had all collectively decided to force him into one. when he eventually agrees to wear a costume its something simple and easy to get, a vampire or werewolf or something. (he trips over his vampire cape at least 3 times)

>: ̗̀➛ dick LOVES DRESSING UP. he goes all out every single year. he has planned, detailed costumes ready by june. he once repurposed his disco nightwing suit into an elvis presley costume. would have forced all of the batboys to dress up as the spice girls atleast once.

>: ̗̀➛ jason when he was a kid he loved the idea of halloween and dressing up. now that hes been resurrected and is older not so much. even though hes not as passionate about halloween as some of the others, he still dresses up every year because one time tim had said he was acting like bruce for not wanting to dress up. since that day he vowed to always dress up so he wasnt anything like bruce. death would be a kinder punishment then being like bruce in jasons eyes.

as for his costume he would do something he deemed cool. his favourite costumes are walter white, jesse pinkman, quentin tarantino or any of the characters from his current favourite book. an ex-girlfriend once convinced him to dress up as frankenstein and his wife. he was the wife. the whole batfam saw. he never lived it down.

>: ̗̀➛ tim tim likes halloween. he has a map of every house that gives our coffee flavoured sweets. takes damian with him as a 'bonding opportunity'. (he just wants all of the demons good sweets). his costume looks like it took him two seconds to find when in reality it took him at least a month.

his costume is something dumb that regular people dont really understand, but thats okay because he understands. has gone and will go to the halloween gala as a pot of coffee. he just has the costume in his wardrobe for emergencies.

>: ̗̀➛ damian acts like he doesnt care for the holiday but 100% does. at first he didnt understand it since he has never got to experience it while under the league care, why would people willingly give out food? and why would people eat it? what if it was poisoned? 

while he doesnt pay much attention to his own costume, he does pay attention to his animals. alfred the cat goes as a cow and bat-cow goes as a cat. no there isnt any relation to the costumes... why would you think that? it gets harder when damian tried to get a costume for goliath, hes very large.

he would never admit this out loud to anyone but he desperately wants to dress as batman. he has a lot of pride and admiration for his father and his heritage, bruce knows that, but he would never be able to in case he was somehow recognised. in the end he goes as ninja. he felt it was fitting.

>: ̗̀➛alfred he would go as lurch from the original adams family movie. he relates to the character and thinks hes a brilliant butler. the kids that are out trick-or-treating love his costume when he opens the door.

>: ̗̀➛ barb + commissioner gordon barbara loves to dress up in matching costumes with her dad and hes happy to oblige. each year they have a new costume planned, its always something cheesy like peanut butter and jelly or bread and butter. barbara takes great joy in going to the waynes halloween gala in the most cheesy costume ever in attempt to embarrass her dad. it never works, hes just happy to see his daughter having fun. (dick has forced her to wear a couples costume multiple times)

>: ̗̀➛ wally halloween is wallys favourite time. so many free sweets and chocolates for him to eat. doesnt matter what it is, how big or small, its all getting eaten. he doesnt care too much about his costume, as long as hes getting free food. dick usually helps him out with his costume, he goes as someone speedy like him. quicksilver, sonic, pietro etc.

[acciostorian]

mae reads the kane chronicles: the serpent’s shadow the red pyramid

(aka we see mae go through many emotions in the space of 2-3 days)

holy fuck ive only got to the contents and the chapters have those classic pjo click bait titles i’m so happy rn

WAIT IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT- the serpent’s shadow is the THIRD BOOK. uh-oh i almost fucked this whole series over lemme change the book real quick....

i’m literally on the first page and i’ve already been sent on a mission, so the kanes are THOSE bitches

SADIE AND KANE ARE BRITISH???? omg yes please

THEYRE IN LONDON MY HOME

never fucking mind they’re from LA

oh wait sadie was raised as a british kid. that’s very sexy of her.

carter be like, “you wouldn’t be interested in my dad’s lectures.” SHUT UP CARTER I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIAN PUNISHMENT

so sadie was raised in east london???? THATS SO SEXC BECAUSE ME TOO BOO

sadie has a british accent. a b r i t i s h a c c e n t.

FIT

“six years in london and she thinks she’s james bond” LMAO

sadie’s so emo/alt i love it. does rick always write his characters like this??

sadie pronounces it “mum” and carter says “mom”

it’s so refreshing to read mum ngl

sadie said bloke omg

i’m feeling carter’s pain. little sisters are shits and honestly sadie has the same vibes as my little sister and me and carter are quite similar. i hate this.

oh wow they really said sadie was too white for their family...

sadie did not HESITATE to be like, “yeah dad we’ll lock that guy in his office. mint.”

sadie telling the story is an experience

sadie said “maths” and “mates” in the same sentence. this is some refreshing shit.

sadie’s friends saying carter is hot is fucking hilarious. like it’s a classic piss-off to thirst over your mate’s sibling

THEYRE GETTING DEPORTED????

LMAO AMOS WAS LIKE, “yeah we don’t talk about manhattan. they’ve got their own problems. *cough percy jackson cough*”

i read thoth the god of knowledge as thot the god of knowledge

carter is right, amos has undeniable swag

philip of macedonia. the crocodile. cool.

i love how the greeks and romans be like “if we don’t honour the gods we’ll get SLAUGHTERED” and the egyptians are like “you know what? fuck the gods me and my homies hate the gods”

sadie kane would stab you in a back alley and dance to mcr as you bled to death and carter kane would take you to a museum, tell you everything about everything and then commit a terrorist attack

amos really went “don’t touch anything, the cats in charge and peace out bitches” and then fucking jumped off the balcony of his five storey mansion

sadie made that door go BANG

that fucking clay statue came to life and not one of them screamed. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.

i’m giggling, all the greek/roman gods have really long/scary/cool sounding names like tartarus and chaos and nyx but the evilest guy in egyptian myth is called set. S E T.

please make muffin some crazy badass animal like crookshanks or swiftwind.

WHO DARES THROW HANDS WITH PHILIP?????

THE SHABTI FUCKING STOLE AN ARTEFACT THATS AMAZING

i love carter sm, even tho he’s scared as fuck he still picked up that ancient sword and was like “ig i’ll bash some heads in whilst sadie holds the cat”

MUFFIN JUST TURNED INTO SOME WARRIOR CAT LADY AND SHE INSTANTLY GAVE ME CATRA VIBES

every cat in new york is helping them

bast jacked that car like it was nobody’s business

i used to think the greek gods were stupid for having so many things to control but honestly the egyptians are taking the piss, do you really need a whole scorpion goddess?

the kane siblings are written so well. like i actually BELIEVE they’re siblings

i think carters gonna become a comfort character now... like i relate on another level. little siblings always take the spot light and you have to act level headed and calm because the younger ones start shit and you’re like “i gotta be the good one because my family would fall to shit if i didn’t behave.” so big kudos to carter, i love you

so carter’s a king huh? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT RICK I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS

zia was like “king tut?? ugh he was such a boy, there were waaaaay cooler tombs out there x x”

i read “nectanebo II” as “nintendo II” and i was like ??? when was that a thing

i drinking camomile tea whilst reading this and i feel so peaceful uwu

sadie really can do magic like THAT like bitch be like “i just copied what zia did and yeah it worked lol”

okay so i’m sorta feeling bad about sadies life rn but i’m still very pro carter

set’s laugh makes me uncomfortable. because when most villains laugh it’s usually described like “their laugh was like a knife, cold and sharp. i hates it.” but when sadie discribed set’s laugh she was like “it was warm and friendly. beautiful.” LIKE AAAA THATS A RED LIGHT

set: the god of theatre because gods dam is he a good actor

sadie saw some hot emo guy and was like “omg marry me”

iskandar be like “lmao imma speak in alexandria greek all the time but this girl bouta die? i switch to perfect english for dramatic effect”

woooOooaaaah SLOW DOWN THERE BUDDY, tongue tattoos???

zia: you guys will probably suck at this at first but oh well we all can’t be great

sadie: *makes fire first time* wooosh

sadie and kane: *doing cool shit* me and my tea: sluuuurrrp

bast is so sassy i love it

me when it’s a sadie chapter: okay ig :/

me when it’s a carter chapter: HOLY SHIT CARTER HEY OMG YOURE DOING CRAZY STUFF???? COOL. i love you.

bast: so yeah, you’d be stupid to teleport to paris, this is desjardin’s home territory

sadie and kane, lying in the streets of paris: oh cool cool

sadie: like i might die rn but i don’t care, as long as it doesn’t get filmed and put in youtube, that would be embarrassing

like ???? sis get your priorities together smh

sadie: *sees hot emo guy again in her spirit adventure, he hints that’s he’s dead or something*

also sadie: so will i see you again?

“no, an egyptian drink. you’ve heard of hot chocolate? this is rather like hot vanilla.” dam now i want some.

carter is an amazing older brother. he’s written perfectly and he’s a great character to relate to for me. even though sadie can make his blood boil, he dropped everything to calm her down when she was panicking about not being able to change back from a bird. i too have to do that for my little sister - sadie and ava are ironically the same age - so i find that very comforting that there is someone like me to relate to!

‘a businessman with a rolling suitcase was waiting by the doors. his eyes widened when he saw me. i must’ve looked pretty strange — a tall black kid in dirty, ragged egyptian clothes, with a weird box tucked under one arm and a bird of prey perched on the other.

‘“how’s it going?” i said. “i’ll take the stairs.” he hurried off.’ LMAO THIS IS WHY CARTER BABY I LOVE YOU

highkey pissed that carters like “i’m always edgy around the police. once i turned eleven they started giving me the Look. when it doesn’t happen it’s always a pleasant surprise.” LIKE FUCK NO HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND UNHASSLED WHATS WRONG WITH HIM

lmao bast be like “imma jump off this national monument. see ya at the airport in my finest clothes and jewellery x”

FOOD UPDATE: i’m eating a chocolate covered waffles and having some tea and i feel so happy rn sorry i know you don’t care but like aaaaaaa

bast called carter her little tomcat and my heart exploded

bast really likes convertibles huh

thoth: i hate rereading my old writing, my present self would never write like this now!! SOMEONE GET ME A RED PEN

are they... are they going to dig up elvis presley?

might put some elvis in for this part, y’know, to set the mood?

i cant stop reading ‘thoth’ as thot even though i know how to pronounce it

the captain with a axe for a head: my name is bloodstained battle axe 😸

yuh bast did some shit ...

imma stop now because spoilers, GO READ THE KANE CHRONICLES THEY ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED RIORDANVERSE BOOKS X X

[littleeyesofpallas]

The other day i had a kinda drunken rant I went on with a friend that I had wished I could’ve written down.  But today I read an article about the shift in hollywood marketing from star power to IP and character driven power instead: the idea being that an original movie used be able to draw crowds with the basic idea of “your favorite star as <insert role>” but we’ve moved more towards the appeal of familiar franchise names like “from the creator of XYZ.”  But I think this is an interesting place to draw the line because it does go back to that drunken rant.  So, here I go again... this is gonna be lo~ng and boring (and this is the shortest possible version) and without pictures, but god knows i have no idea what i would put to accompany this super tangent-filled tirade, so I guess just buckle up...

(I apologize now for all the weird side subjects that I’m going to name drop but just not take the time here to go in depth with.)

I don’t even remember where my drunken rant with my friend the other night started so my first obstacle is finding a place to even begin with this because it has so many entry points and none of them are any closer to where this all ends than any other so like.... whatever...  Shakespeare.

It’s a super complicated thing but in the first era of professional english theatre  that Shakespeare ushered in (from the mid-late 1500s to early-mid 1600s) there were strong strong associations with theatre and prostitution.  Maybe it was exactly what it sounded like, maybe it was elitist slander against the revolutionary accessibility of the arts to the poor as self debasing, maybe it was the church being really angry about literally everything all the time, maybe it was a little of all of that...  But either way the persisting notion was that a theatre, established or travelling, was a place one could ostensibly go to pay for sex with the troupe’s actors.  of course at the time women weren’t a part of that profession, and while they may have been as much a part of the theater going demographic as anyone else it’s hard to pinpoint how much of the already vaguely defined theatre sex trade they patronized --Point being when we talk about theatres prostituting their actors we’re talking about male theatre goers paying to have sex with male actors, and predominantly those young boys playing female roles.  In most classic academic circles this is either wholly ignored, brushed aside/glossed over, or sloppily chalked up to “homosexuality.”  But there’s a lot more nuance to that... which is part of the big mess of stuff I’m just not getting into here...

But this is where I draw my line of connection to Kabuki theatre.  Kabuki somewhat infamously had similar practices as all-male theatre and as duel industry for theatre and prostitution.  And as a parallel development it seems to make sense... In England and Japan alike, you have a group of people who by nature of their jobs charm people and constantly move from town to town.  Even if a community or government thinks what they’re doing is wrong, by the time they can take notice or do anything to stop them: they charm, they fuck, they leave.  But unlike Shakespearean theatre, kabuki has a slightly more convoluted history of development.

See, Kabuki started with Izumi-no-Okumo, a shinto shrine maid (ironically also in the 1500-1600s cusp, same as shakespeare) and although a lot of her personal history is lost to time you can imagine the basic development here: a shrine maid tells the myths, she tells the myths dramatically and with with character voice, then all that but with props, and costume, and then dividing roles into separate actors, and collecting donations for the shrine as regular practice anyway but hey look people donate more when they’ve come for a story they enjoy... and then oops you’ve invented theatre.  Also on account of this being started with shinto shrine maids, the form naturally took an all female slant.

Whether it started with Okumo herself or not, as theatre became an established form, and a lucrative one at that, non shinto affiliated women quickly seized the chance to make a living outside the bounds of common peasantry, and with the growth of travelling theatre as an industry that same side venture of prostitution developed.  But here’s where it gets interesting...

Due to things that, again I won’t dive into here, the untaxed revenues of prostitution painted a target on the backs of kabuki actresses, and women were eventually outlawed from theatre.  The art form was of course immensely popular however so to keep the gravy train rolling the theatre form continued but now with all young-male casts, to retain the feminine aesthetics of female kabuki.  This did absolutely nothing to stop the rate of prostitution however, so they outlawed it again and replaced the young boys with grown men.  This still didn’t stop the prostitution but there was other stuff going on in Japan at that point and legislative attentions were pulled elsewhere.

And here’s my weird little take away from this...  it’s not like Kabuki theatre suddenly went from being popular with horny straight men to horny gay men in a seemless and perfectly balanced transition. (and granted japan at the time was a lot more open about their grasp of sexuality compared to now and to the west in general) so presumably a lot of these thirsty theatre goers were just overwhelmingly indiscriminate in their tastes in fucking actors...  But stick a pin in that, we’ve got a tangent to go on!

So around this same time Japan was having kind of a second rennaissance: japan’s high arts culture had first really risen to prominence in the heian period right before the long long descent into the civilwar we all know and lover for all its flashy samurai drama.  When that 400-ish year civil war finally ended and then stabilized under the Tokugawa shogunate in the Edo period, the art scene finally had some room to breathe again, and among many other things ukiyo-e wood block prints saw a huge explosion in popularity.  And part of this tied into Kabuki theatre, as an extremely popular genre of prints were actor portraits and theatre scenes.  Actor portraits in particular are kind of culturally fascinating, because they weren’t simply prints of character illustration, they were frequently labeled with both the character played, the story they featured in, and the name of the actor playing them.  moreover, despite the reverence of classical art historians now, these weren’t fine art at the time; they were mass produced, affordable and disposable.  In major cities, everyone went to see theatre, and everyone bought, kept, and even collected actor portraits.  As theatre seasons and troupes came and went actor portraits came to occupy and kind of cultural value space a lot like American baseball cards in how prestige, rarity, and trading became an entire subculture in and of itself within the sports/theatre community.

Now we see how Japan had created this thriving popular/mass culture, and celebrity culture for itself.  And while the notion of a “parasocial relationship” wouldn’t be formulated and explored until the 1950s-60s in the wake of things like Elvis fever and Beetles mania, that brand of one-sided relationship where you as an audience member form a “relationship” with a celebrity that involves collecting information about their heavily curated persona is exactly what japan stumbled into some 300 years earlier.  And in fact Japanese pop culture would maintain a lineage of parasocial relationships during the intervening years (in a way the deification and worship of the emperor as a god-king was a kind of parasocial relationship in the way a secular monarch doesn’t quite achieve) So it’s no surprise that when Takarazuka Revue opened in the 1910s as a new modern all-female theatre form, it attracted a familiar old brand of horny theatre audience --one that maintained a very nebulous relationship with the now much more stringent notions of gender and its relation to sexuality.

taking this tangent a little further, Japanese pop culture has always shown this interesting, self-aware approach to the parasocial relationship dynamic that western cultures seems to lack.  I remember that when the 1990s put boy bands briefly into the spotlight, the thing that sunk them in the American eye seemed to be this weird sense of betrayal that the boys werent some garage band rags to riches story, and they didnt write their own music, or make their own dance moves, or even sing live at their own concerts.  America seemed to be repulsed by this notion of a manufactured pop hit.  Japan however (and Korea soon to follow) seemed to thrive in this instead; there was no pretense that J-pop idols weren’t manufactured, and in fact they took pride in the rigors of having been hand picked and raised to stardom --of course they were scouted and trained, because the idol could’ve been any of millions but it was them who got picked, it was them who sang the best, performed the best, climbed the charts, and fought to stay there.  Stardom wasn’t an art form, it was a contest, and they were WINNING.

And the manufactured nature of that J-pop idol business model is what gave rise to Hatsune Miku (in fact there were multiple attempts in the 1980s to design and market a wholly fictional pop idol, but if anything they were too ahead of their time and lacked the technology to really sell the idea in its best form) because when your entire product is about making and curating your performers’ public persona, to the extreme level at which them having their own lives actually starts to contradict their stage persona and hurt their marketability... why bother projecting the persona onto a real person?  Why not just cut the human component out all together and just market the persona for what it is?  And for Japan I think that kind of relationship was one that they were culturally always just a few steps away from being ready to accept anyway, so it just took a little persistence.

Then came the anime waifu thing...  Dating sims, and body pillow marriages, etc... and I think the pretty unanimous impulse to turn this into a enormous joke (and lets be real who could blame anyone for that) overlooks what actually happened here: paraosocial relationships in the purest form, with the fleshy middleman removed and with it the lie, not less false but somehow now false yet honest.  A bizarre paradox to be sure...

But now lets back this up...  Kabuki theatre.  Prostitution.  The change from women to young boys to men, and the almost hilarious unflappably bisexual audience who embraced it.  I don’t think it was a component of sexuality as any historians who have looked at that time period bothered to conceive of it.   Because even in an early japanese mass culture scene, the relationship was between the audience and the persona, and not the audience and the actors; The audience was always in love with the characters in their collectible trading prints, with their 15th century waifus, and they paid to have sex with those personas regardless of the bodies or real people involved.

...

okay, so, I typed all that out weeks ago and then just left it in my drafts, not even really intending to come back to it.  And now that I’m here, I don’t know that I had a point to this when i went on my drunk rant.  But i guess if there was any kind of a take away from this, it’s that I find that people have a lot of trouble separating personal identity from gender, from performance, from social dynamics... and in western culture, especially within recent history/memory, that’s kind of understandably hard to untangle. But historically people’s sexuality and sense of attraction have basically always been based implicitly on attraction to an idea made manifest in a persona first, and a body to match it only secondarily to that;

Society’s abiding dedication to forcing you into a gendered box, and to box gender into a narrow range of performance, is equitable to screeching fans being “in love” with celebrities they’ve never met and convinced that the steady feed of curated marketed personality traits constitute “knowing” those celebrity strangers.  The idea that the person and the persona are the same is a lie told to sell product.  Gender is just the brand.  You’re the rockstar.  Fuck marketing.

[lcofowler]

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — leopold kristoff fowler

NICKNAME — leo pretty exclusively methinks........ one of his brother’s used to call him krissy to annoy him n stopped after leo finally punched him over it snickers

D.O.B. — november 12th, 1996

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo ascending

MBTI — estp - the entrepeneur

MORAL ALIGNMENT — chaotic neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & pansexual

LANGUAGES — english & dutch

TALENTS / HOBBIES — guitar, bass, drumming, partying titters, soccer, wastes way too much time making tiktoks

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — creedence clearwater revival, dababy :/, elvis presley, run the jewels, glass animals

FAVOURITE BOOK — has he ever even read a book................. a genuine good question. definitely liked some comics tho, like the walking dead ones probs

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — hes tht person whose fav movie is like . step brothers or something. like i unironically think leo loves tht movie n im sry abt it. he jst doesnt rly care wht he watches at all bt stupid humour like tht wld probs entertain him enough if he was watching something on his own / was attached to the walking dead cuz of the comics but otherwise doesn’t watch too many tv, probs watches marj’s Soaps w her whenever he has free time

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — i dnt kno much abt video games. he was probs more of an outdoors than video game kid bt feel like he’d like games w a story like life is strange or dumb ones tht rnt taken seriously n u can jst play simply on ur laptop like coming out on top or tht old computer game façade

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — worked A Lot to make up fr the damage he’d done after his last Episode at a local grocery store, jst hung out n partied w friends mostly otherwise

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — florida n new york mostly in the states before connecticut, amsterdam a lot, greece and italy as well

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — has been given a fuck ton of mood stabilizers to try n hes only jst recently started Actually taking carbatrol tht hes been prescribed after basically being begged to by his aunt n uncle

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — bipolar i, adhd

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — stu from scream (minus the murder lawl), jj maybank from outer banks, valerio from elite, ransom from knives out (minus the murder once more this pattern is getting scary)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work as a florist at his aunt n uncle’s flower store fowler’s flowers! steve was so proud of all his hard work this summer he promoted leo to supervisor! :D

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — he was definitely talked about, but he also went to like 5 diff high schools, people jst basically heard rumours n saw the stupid stuff he did n if they stuck around to see it it was merely bc they wanted to see if he had the balls to go through with his next stupid plan instead of with the intent of friendship or anything like that

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — ya he kinda jst does wtvr

DRINK? — too much yes.

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — not as much as he used to

SMOKE WEED? — a bit mostly if someone else offers it up

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — he was born in tallahassee but grew up between there n manhattan a lot depended on wht parent wasnt sick of him yet titters

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — he doesn’t even kno if he’s gna make it thru his undergrad

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — there are none..... he wldnt b surprised if he jst ended up working at fowler’s flowers fr the rest of his life hes jst so comfortable there n has no idea wht hes gna do.

PARENTS NAMES — renata & archibald (mom n dad), marjorie & steven (aunt n uncle, current guardians)

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — Yeth theres augustus (28), mikhael (26), vaughn (21), n willhelm (18)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — mitzie’s a tortoiseshell cat tht lives at marj n steve’s tht he does love quite dearly bt thts it

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — lawl no, his dad is 7th day adventist tugs my shirt collar but leo hated it growing up, is pretty spiritual tho thanks to marj n steve

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — god. a Lot. 100+ frankly idek........ he jst doesnt care.

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he doesn’t have his own car but he borrows his aunt n uncle’s if they’re not using it, rides his bike around a lot

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — so . insanely all over the place. jst doesn’t care. once wore a pair of his aunts leggings to a fkin funeral bc he didnt have anything clean. wore a crop top he made with the words ‘this is what gay looks like’ to a job interview. a sweater that said ‘big dick is back in town’ to a family reunion after he hadnt seen his immediate family in like . a year. jst a lot of absurd thrift store finds n wtvr he wants. patterns tht dont match. very proud of his neon green dr martens w aliens on the side. anything loud rly.......

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — either/or

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — not really, but he pretends he does and relays them all to his aunt to freak her out bc she RLY believes them

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes<3

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “It is an act of rebellion to remain present, to go against society’s desire for you to numb yourself, to look away. But we must not look away.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — morning in america - jon bellion

[dominationtheory]

The Purdom Postulate 0.1  Ruff

Do homosexuals cause hurricanes?  Did Elvis fake his own death so he could sneak away to Mexico and eat chilupas for the rest of his life?  Is there a vast Reptilian conspiracy hell bent on world domination and turning frogs gay?  Where do I get my Soros bucks?  At this point you have to be asking yourself who would believe this stuff.  You are also probably thinking of people who do.  By the end of this post you will have a better understanding of how things like fake news and conspiracy theories have become such a problem.  You will also gain a better understanding of how unthinkable tragedies like genocide or the holocaust can occur.  These things all come to be due to the imperfect fashion in which we develop as human beings.  Everyone is governed by the fatal flaws that follow.  Do you think you are above bias?  Do you think anyone is above bias?.  In the Purdom Postulate you will see yourselves and others in ways you could have never imagined.  You will be aghast at the mistakes others are making.  You will be triggered at the suggestion you are making the same mistakes.  You will want to turn away.  You will get angry.  You will be shocked.  You will be in disbelief.  This is all part of the process.  There is no perfect or fair way to present these points.  Everyone will be more likely to accept the mistakes their rivals make and defensive about the mistakes that their respective cultures make.  All these mistakes fit the same pattern though.  You don’t have to accept your own mistakes right out of the gate.  This process takes time.  Learn these insights and you will be able to make powerful predictive observations that will give you an advantage in any social situation.  Those who can make these observations will have an advantage over those who can not. 

The Purdom Postulate is a combination of widely accepted and understood from the fields of psychology and philosophy.  Understandings of Defense Mechanisms, Cognitive Biases, In Group\Out Group Dynamics, Realistic Conflict Theory, Social Identity Theory, Identity Protective Cognition, Post-Modernism, Structuralism, and Post Structuralism are helpful but unnecessary.  This list is provided for people to do their own research.  What I am about to suggest will sound radical.  With the background information provided you will see that the assertions of The Purdom Postulate are within the ballpark of contemporary understandings in the fields of psychology and philosophy at this time.

Animals across the kingdom have developed a variety of defense mechanisms to navigate theor damgerous environments given these universal instincts.  The role that these instincts play in human development have been overlooked.  By understanding how these insrincts inflience human development you will see a window into the soul.  You will see things about yourself that you didnt see before and you will understand what everybody doesnt want you to see.  The fact  these flaws hsve been overlooked is so predictable it os almost humorous.  It would be more humorous if the results were not so tragic.  This is am introductiom to the purdom postulate.  A radical new view of human development and identity.  With these new insights I believe you may find hope that humanities most plaguing problems may one day have a solution. 

There are a variety of instincts that have enabled life to thrive with limited cognitive abilities.  The basis for most of these offense/defense mechanisms is the perception of strength and weakness.  These instincts influence the behavior of all life and they have their roots in predatory behavior and mate selection.  There are a few behaviors that are widely understood that can be seen in all forms of life and they influence human development in ways that is not commonly understood.  Here are a few of what should be a growing list of behaviors that are stimulated by the perception of strength and weakness.

1.  Freezing-  It is well known that a dear will freeze when struck by headlights.  Life accross the evolutionary spectrum exhibit this behavior

2.  Proweling-  We are all familiar with the way a cat crouches ready to pounce.  It is important that life is able to act in an unthreatening way.  In so we are eager to deflect any interpretation of our actions that may be perceived as threatening.

3.  Feign Strength.  When a cat feels threatened by a dog it will make itself big.  It does not want to look like a small weak easy target.  Similarly in an argument someone will stand up taller, make their chest bigger, they will also speak more loudly.

4.  Standing Your Ground- Similarly to freezing we instinctually avoid showing weakness.  When confronted by a threat we will refuse to make any concession regardless of how vulnerable our position.  We have all met someone who can’t admit that they are wrong.  We can all be that person.  This is because we understand that if we show weakness we will open ourselves up for an attack from life which is cued to act aggressively when weakness is perceived.  Try it.  Next time you are in an argument concede where you are wrong.  Watch your rival latch onto that weakness and focus only on the error rather than the issue at hand.  They will tend to maintain focus on the vulnerability.  They will push the area they feel they have an advantage rather than maintain a conversation that may reveal their own vulnerabilities. 

These instincts that relate to the perception of strength and weakness are the basis of Cooperative Bias and Competitive Bias which help define the limits of The Purdom Postulate.  Moving forward it is imperative to understand the definition of an In Group and an Out Group. 

The In Group is the popular group, and often a powerful group.  We all see ourselves as part of one cultural In Group or another.  In groups can be based on nationality, ethnicity, gender, religion, music, arts, or a million other sub cultures.  Each of these cultures have their own ideals which are held in near absolute value.  Any criticism of these ideals can trigger aggressive and destructive defense mechanisms.  In group out group dynamics are at the core of cooperative and competitive biases.

Cooperative Bias -We can only say good things about the in group.  We can only speak to the strength of the in group.  We feel compelled to defend the ideals and members of this in group. Critisism is not allowed.  Those who are critical of the in group or their ideals are characterized as traitors or threats.  Some degree of critisism of these ideals is permitted if the critic is seen as a strong member of the respective in group.  Critisism of the ideals of the in group can be met by destructive aggression, and demonization if they are mentioned by the out group. Critisism from the In group and critisism from the out group will be handled differently even if it is the same critisism. Some critisism may be characterized as the musings of out group members and be dismissed outright.  

A.  The clearest example of this bais can be seen in the religious community.  Religions have earned a reputation for violently opposing people who are critical of their religion.  Today Muslims are the most notorious.  They are known for killing people who are critical of their religion.  The same pattern holds true among the most brutal dictatorships.  Countries like North Korea are known for killing dissodents.  China is also known for restricting critisism.  

B.  Every country has their nationalists.  It can be common for nationalists to get angry when critisism is mentioned.  For example America is considered a global leader.  At the same time a large number of countries outperform America educationally.  Mention to a nationaist that other educational systems are outperforming America and they can get triggered.  They may something like "If their educational system is so superior why don't you move there."

Competative Bias-  You can only say bad things about the out group.   You can only speak to the weaknesses of the out group.  If someone says something good  about the out group or otherwise defends the out group, they may find themselves characterized as a traitor or a threat.  

A.  Trump's notorious Mexican comments. "When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. ... They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people," Trump uses exclusivley degrading terms to talk about illegal immigrants.   Trump is degrading an out group to play to his base.  He understands that his base will be sensative to anything good he might have to say.  As a result he is gaurded when he says "And Some, I assume are good people." To characterize illegal immagrants in this way is unfair.  Only a small percentage are likely to be involved in drugs and many who are involved in drugs have probably been cooerced.  It is natural for human beings to seek a better life and being an immigrant does not exempt these human beings from this natural instinct

B.  Kim Jung Un sent his sister to the Olympics.  The media had a lot of good things to say about her.  Her dress.  Her pleasant demeanor.  Conseravatives went crazy because good things were said about a rival.  Conservatives went crazy because good things were said about an Out Group member.

These are not hard and fast rules.  An individuals susceptability to cooperative and competative biases fall on a spectrum.  Some are more triggered to aggression than others. It may depend on how much an individual commits to a certain identity.  People with more traditional, religious or nationalistic identities may be more sensative.  This could be for many reasons. These are the oldest and most long standing identities and are more likely to have been currupted by fantasy and exageration.  There are also larger groups of people who play by these rules reinforcing the biases.  Cooperative and competative biases will predict whom an individual will attack and whom they will defend.

Our sense of strength directs our development.  It helps us determine who is like us and what advantages they have.  Our sense of strength directs us to choose Role Models.  We idolize and emulate the thoughts and behaviors of those around us who we feel have advantages..  Our sense of strength directs us to ideals that are important to those who's culture we are a part of. This perception helps us to determine who is strong, who is weak, what an advantage is, and what is a threat.  Our unique battle lines are drawn based on these cultural premises.  

Tribal signaling/Virtue Signaling is when someone emphasizes or exagerates their commitment to a group or value.  The are posing as a strong member of a cultural group.  This can be seen when someone praises god, wears a cross, or proclaims the greatness of their country or favorite sports team.  A great example of Tribal Signaling can be seen at sporting events.  Some fans choose to exagerate and showcase their commitment to the team painting their face or body in team colors.  This is to signal to other people that they are a commited member of the community.

In Group Fantasy/Out Group Nightmare-The nature of genius and the heart of creativity

In group Fantasy-As I have mentioned above people expect their respective cultures to be praised without critisism.  When critisized members of the culture may become triggered.  They may get angry and feel compelled to defend their culture regardless of how valid the critisism.  This is a system where critical thinking is not tollerated.  What is more there is incentive to exagerate the the good of one's culture.  To signal their commitment to the group and to showcase themselves as a strong member of the community.  We are more likely to cooperate with people who share our culture.  When someone signals strongly on behalf of their culture they increases the liklihood that other members of that culture will cooperate with them.  This system can be all gas and no breaks.  A runaway train, or a runaway brain if you will.  This incentive to exagerate in an environment where critical thinking is penalized leads cultures to exagerate away from reality with nothing that can really slow them down.  Our Runaway Brain creates a Cooperative Mythos. The most obvious situation where this happens is religion. Exageration of In Group ideals has taken on mythic proportion.  At the same time every culture has it's own mythos.  This Mythos emerges as a result of exagerating importance of the ideals of the group and penalizing critics.  In group fantasy tends to assume the group has special privilages.  That they are going to heaven for their beliefs. That their country is the most free or most just.  That they have the best quality of life.  For example people of religious faith can act as if they are the only ones capaible of acting morally.  When someone expresses their contempt of religion they will ask something like "How can we expect people to act morally if they are not taught religion."  The implication is that only religious people are capible of acting in a moral fashion.  That a stable society is a special privlage that is earned by adhering to their Cultural Mythos.

Out Group Nightmare – People tend to only say bad things about their cultural rivals.  Attempting to defend a cultural rival may be met with resistance.  There is incentive to exagerate the threats that the out group represents.  By exagerating the threat an out group represents an individual cal pose as a stronger member of their respecitve culture.  Because there is incentive to exagerate and defense of the out group is discouraged a Competative Mythos forms. One of the most notorious forms of Competative Mythos is Conspiracy Theory.

The limitations and exagerations of Cooperative and Competative Biases paint a telling picture.  They can be seen rather clearly through the Characteristics of Cultural Conflict

Characterisitics of cultural conflict

Exageration of Threats-  In our mind size matters.  Bigly. You can tell about where someone stands by what they describe as big and what they characterize as small.  What is a threat, and what is an advantage.  An example of a threat that is exagerated is that of Muslims.  It is common for people to act as if all Muslims are terrorists.  Although this is clearly false other exagerations are made about the threat they represent.  For example many conservatives claim that Muslims are coming into the country and that they will impose the harsh religious Sharia Law.  Religions are dated cultures and their future is limited.  The liklihood that Muslims will take over the world an impose their religious law is about as likely as the Amish rolling in on their apple carts.  Islam is an outdated culture.

Overgeneralization-Everyone has had some experience with stereotyping.  We have witnessed and expressed generalizations that could clearly not be accurate in their absolute. We have all treated people differently because of their affiliation with a certain group and assumed that they expected a similar accomodation.  For example in far left social justice cirles it is common to say that all white people are racist and men are sexist.

An Expectation of Unequal and Unjust Outcomes- We tend to believe that our cultures are entitled to unjust advantages. For example a Christian may claim that they are entitled to expect other people to live under their religious rules.  At the same time the thought of living under the rules of another religion or culture terrifies them.  It is hypocracy.

Singularity of Focus-Like a targeting system we can zero in on certain individuals or groups and blame them for certain problems.  This can take the form of Scapegoating. For example some religious figures like to blame homosexuals or other rival cultures for things like earthquakes and hurricaines.  They claim that calamity is god's wrath for failing to live by some set of cultural rules.  Racism and sexism are great examples of instances where groups can be singled out.  All the competative behaviors listed above can be used to find examples of unfair characterizations that have plagued minorities.  Social justice movements can be guilty of exactly the same sorts of opporession. They unfairly single out men and white people for prejudices that we all participate in.  They will claim that things are different because their economic opportunity is more limited.  At the same time their economic opportunity is limited by the same prejudice they exhibit when they over generalize and exagerate calling all men sexist, and unjustly single out these groups.  They have effectily designed their own oppressive cultures where minorities oppress the majority. In their dreams anyway.  It is all of our dreams really because our development is driven by a desire for dominance.

When a cultural boundary is broken it is comon for people to be triggered into using Out Group Slurs

Out Group Slurs relate more to a cultural rival than to the meaning of the word.  For example the word Kike was used to degrade Jews.  Before people were literate they were asked to sign contracts with an X.  Jews felt that this X represented the cross that Jesus died on.  As a form of cultural defiance they chose to sign contracts with a circle instead.  In Hebrew a circle is called a Kike.  As a result when people wanted to desparage the Jews they called them a Kike.  Now most people know that Kike is a slur for Jew.  Most do not understand that Kike means circle.  A similar example is the use of the word Nigger.  Nigger was once used to describe people from Niger.  White people ignorantly assumed that all black people came from this small country.  Soon Nigger became a disparaging term for black people.  Few people understand the origin of the word.  Finally conservatives in America love to call their liberal counterparts Socialists or Communists.  Socialism or Communism involves the government ownership of resources.  Very few people on the left believe in such Nationalization of resources. America fought major wars against communists and socialists.  What conservatives are doing is characterizing their rivals as our cultures ultimate enemy.  The slurs relate to a cultural rivalry rather than the definition of the word.  Out group slurs aim to encourage everyone to greet cultural rival with violent oppression and discouraging others from offering them any defense or support.

Intergroup Conflict.  It is common for those who see themselves as lower status members of a sociological group to participate in intergroup conflict.  They will insult members of their own culture.  Often they express a fundamentalism and signal their identity by trying to define a real man, real woman, real christian, Muslim, or real musician.  

Our ideals set the high ground in our mind.  They designate who is strong, who is weak, what is an advantage, and what is a threat.  Degrading and abusive behavior comes naturally after this point.  It is not socially acceptable to be violent in this age.  At the same time the same processes that govern our desire to degrade also direct us to more violent and destructive behavior.  This is why every act of genocide will be rife with examples of degrading overgeneralizations,  and demonization/dehumanization.  We defend people who are like us.  We attack those who are different.

[old-nosaviors]

excerpts from nick and demi’s gh conversation october 9 - 10 

..are you sure you’re ok though?

no

Talk to me What’s going on? I mean..besides the obvious stuff

i m just so fucking tired i cant think straight i have all my fucking sleeping pills out i wanna take all of them i dont wanna do this anymore im tiredive been cryin gfor fifteen minutes i just want to be donewith everything youre the only thing keeping me here

Nick please talk to me. What’s been going on? I know there’s more..whatever it is though it doesn’t have to end like that...I can help you..let me help you nick please.

that and i dont wanna go to hell

I can’t loose you

and i cant tell you

You’re not going to go to hell

i am if i kill myself my dad says

then just keep talking to me..just..don’t do anything..

i love you and you know that but it doesnt feel like enough right now cause it feels so bad demetria it feels so bad i havent heard from my family in four days none of them i miss my fucking dog im not making a difference and thats okay i think everyone would be better without me anyway

I know it feels bad, but it’s not forever nick....you have to trust me...You do make a difference

then when does it stop because the thing i cant tell you about? im in way too fucking deep my life is over

It’s never too late Nick..even if you hit rock bottom , you can still get up.It’s not going to happen over night. Your life isn’t over...it’s far from over

i cant, i cant you dont understand

Help me understand..please..I can help you nick If you let me

you can't. no one can i want to go home i want to sleep and i want to go home and i want to start over i want to go back and not fuck things up with olivia i know you didnt like her but god i miss her so bad it hurts i want to say no to something i never should have said yes to in the first place i want to see elvis i want joe to stop hating me i wanna see my parents i'm not a guy with a lot of regrets. you know this. but right now there's a huge list and i'm so tired i'm so tired...

It doesn’t matter really what I thought of her , you loved her and of course it’ll hurt..it’s ok to have regrets though...it’s ok to not be ok...There are things you can and can’t change , the past doesn’t have to control you though..there are so many things I wish I could’ve changed , said no too..or what not...I really wish I could take all this pain away It kills me knowing I can’t do more..I just care about you so much. If I seem pushy , or whatever that’s why..

i know im sorry i just cant i dont want you to hate me too if i lose you i have nothing

I’ll never hate you I couldn’t

might be surprised i just wanna take the pills i need to sleep but i dont wanna wake up im fucking exhausted my mom always used to say things would be better in the morning but what if they aren't?

They might not be , I can’t promise they.It might not be better for awhile

then i dont want to be alive for it

But it does get better

im going i lov eyou, demi

Nick please don’t I love you too Please nick Nick?

demi, wait

Nick please don’t do anything I’m crying I can’t loose you I can’t I just can’t

i dont want to die i just want it all to stop how do i make it stop if it helps im crying too ive been crying this whole time i fucking hate this im so fucking tired i think i'm just tired but ive been telling myself im fine and im not fine im not fine this isnt me ive never pulled this shit before

Can you let me help you? I want to help you..you have to give me any details..just..let me help you get better. You don’t have to do this alone.You didn’t let me go through it alone I can’t let you go through it alone

i have to

But you don’t...

i remembered something good though

What is it?

when i was like sixteen or maybe fifteen and we were doing some tour with disney i got like this just so fucking tired i wasnt checking my levels and i couldnt eat right and i felt sick to my stomach all the time and this one night it came to a head - like now and we were packing up and trying to leave the arena. idk if you were still there or not but i locked myself in the green room and i wouldn't come out and i wouldn't let anybody in kevin was the one that found me and he went and got my parents and i wouldnt let them in and then i guess somebody went and got joseph cause he came. and i opened the door for him cause, you know. he's my person. and i was just like, bawling. i couldn't breathe. and we went back to the bus and i got in bed and no one woke me up and afterwards it was kinda like i reset. it took a day or two more before i was back to normal but i think i just, like. got to my breaking point and i needed sleep more than anything i think that's where i'm at right now i'm so tired i think i feel like this cause im tired that probably sounds so stupid but nothing makes sense right now thats the first moment of real clarity ive had in days

~

I love you, Demi You’re the best Thanks for listening to all of that ugh I’m so sorry Two nights in a row I’ve probably given you a heart attack. And made you cry. I’m sorry.

I love you too Nick I care about you so much you’re my world. You don’t need to be sorry Can I ask you something? It’s related but kinda unrelated I was just going to ask if like if I made you feel the way like I am now whenever I was going through my stuff before rehab

What do you mean? Like panic and crying and stuff?

I mean just like how I feel worried , was that how you felt? Because I know I probably shut you out a million times & probably gave you a million heart attacks I still don’t remember much from then I wish I did

I remember going back to a hotel room one night with Joseph and I was crying and crying because I was scared out of my mind. He didn’t say anything, but he sat next to me and just listened to me cry and he knew exactly why I was upset You seemed good for weeks sometimes And then I’d see cuts on you all of a sudden or I’d see you staring at yourself in the mirror weird or those days you wouldn’t get out of bed and when you finally did you were yelling at everyone And I was trying so hard to understand why you were upset with me I thought back, every moment, trying to figure it out And then later finding out it was true that it wasn’t my fault after my parents had been telling me over and over... that was the biggest relief Because I didn’t understand. I could never wrap my head around it But through all of it the thing that upset me most was knowing that you were going through hell and I was completely powerless Even Joseph couldn’t make you laugh You wouldn’t eat. You wouldn’t sleep I...I don’t know It was intense. And we never knew in the morning which Demetria was gonna be onstage that night We loved you through it all but we were scared I think for me that I was so scared that I loved you harder, you know? I thought if I was nice enough or brave enough or funny enough you could get better And then I started to see that it wasn’t working So then it became WHEN is she going to pass out cause she’s not eating? WHEN is she going to get caught snorting coke? WHEN is she going to cut too deep? It wasn’t whether you were or not anymore, it was when. That’s why I was crying in the hotel. Cause I knew you were going to kill yourself. I just didn’t know when. I had this dream once that you were dead You slashed your wrists in a hotel room and I found you and I woke up crying So yes. Yes, living through that was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. But it just made me love you more

I honestly was so sick back then..it’s like I wasn’t even in control , it’s so..weird how it’s such a blur to me. I know I was pretty terrible at most points. I don’t think want to remember any of that..I do remember though you always being there for me even when I probably didn’t deserve it at some points. That part of my life almost feels like a dream ironically..i..mean even though I have had relapses..I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that bad again. I wouldn’t want too.It feels like a dream to me too.

If you were even starting to get like that, I would step in. Please know that. I’ll never forget those warning signs.

I remember being so emotional the first time we reunited in 2012 when I walked invited you to my set because it was the first time we saw each other before I left the tour to go to rehab. Seeing you in person again and just..knowing I’d have you in my life again pushed me to keep fighting I do appreciate that

Oh I’ll never, ever forget that

[procrastidating]

im obsessed w myself

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I keep my cereal dry and have a glass of milk w it maybe? I eat cereal with my hands like a 2 y/o so

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Hell yeah sign me the fuck UP.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Usually papers or sticky notes and paper clips but I don't clip the page bc thats cruel and unusual

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I take tea black and like maybe cream if I'm feeling it. Sugar always ruins it for me

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Not really? Sometimes if I'm getting teeth brushing compulsions but those are less and I laugh too much to hide my smile anyway

6: do you keep plants?

Absolutely I have a spider plant and a succulent

7: do you name your plants?

Laura and Levi ride or die motherfuckers

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Sometimes writing songs/poems, and I used to make a clay sculptures when that was my shit but I don't like to talk about those or show them to people.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Hell yeah or lip syncing aggressively and dancing so I don't bug people on my hall

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

My stomach, occasionally back or side. Sometimes standing up.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

That I'm a triplet with two of my friends who are actually twins! Many more but too complicated to explain

12: what's your favorite planet?

Used to be Neptune but I had to research Uranus once and it fucking sucks that it's always a punchline because it's hella cool and rotates on it's side like it's lying down and I RELATE

13: what's something that made you smile today?

the ducks on my morning walk :)

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Probably cozy but clean and they'd make it hipster and fashionable and I just want a nice bed and shower

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

URANUS ROTATES ON ITS SIDE AND DESERVES RESPECT U FUCKS

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

penne pasta with anything and everything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Terrifying. No. As a joke? Black.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

I walked off the edge of a skate half pipe in like 8th grade and I can't escape the ridicule.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Since like 2006 I've recorded everything. I write what happens and songs and poems and doodles of events that happened instead of describing them sometimes.

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Why the fuck would I have a favorite eye color. Color is the least interesting thing about someone's eyes

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My blue bag is just big enough to fit a journal, sunglasses, pain meds, and water which is my survival kit and it constantly saves my life.

22: are you a morning person?

I'm an extreme morning person to an embarrassing degree

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I LOVE TO DO NOTHING. eat and walk around and then put three dogs on my lap and never move again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Last time I had told one person almost every secret about me but they were on a plane to see their priest before I even finished so like fuck that not worth it byeee :))))

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

An old meeting hall and hung out in it in the middle of the night I guess? Lots of trespassing mostly

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Crocs. Also f this question?

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Never had gum so bite me

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

INVOLUNTARY GIGGLES. Best people

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Love my socks like good pals and I'd never sleep with out em!

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Those are stories just for us.

33: what's your fave pastry?

I'm NE trash and it's donuts

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

My sock monkey jocko, MVP of my goddamn life. 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I have nice pens and nice stationary and I use it frequently but I don't have a variety of them. Just what I like.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Elvis. Dance and ballads always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Clean but the chaos that sometimes happens let's me make note of my mental state with external indicators

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Just don't be mean to people you think are less smart than you. That's. Bullshit. Everyone knows something you don't.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Dark blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

My watch. I like to know the fucking time.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

Glass castle lived to the hype

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I was trying to look up the name of my favorite shop in a’dam it was literal perfection and they had the best nachos and deff didnt sell coffee.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

I know its happened more recently than this but I was just reminded of when I watched shooting stars last august on the last night of camp and that was a beautiful night. human connection is the best dude.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Summer camp night :) because the last time before that was like age 10 so no fucking wonder im going back

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

hell yeah I’m so fucking smart. But if I have migraine brain my good instincts leave me

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

meat puns are a rare medium well done!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

none? food thats like also literal poison maybe? if you dont like a food dont eat it man I’m chill.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

~thunder~ has carried over for sure but I was a pretty fearless kid and now a very fearful 20 something

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

COMPILATION CDS ARE MY SHIT! Like obscure dance music from the 00s and 90s, I recently bought 3 of those.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

white rocks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

this is so fucking obscure. I think of my dad and  pedal your blues away. 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the make a playlist one is making me laugh right now

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I’ve seen em all and theyre all good! I can see why they all have cult followings although im not cult-y about any of them sry

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ouch. no comment.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

I declared myself queen of the school to demonstrate how dumb I thought class elections were.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people that say your name/call you by a nickname! people that laugh at my jokes! people that like me! Its not very hard for me to become obsessed w you

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

no time for that and also im not in 10th grade anymore

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I’m starting to get bored of these Qs

59: what's your favorite myth?

Abi Yo Yo. Is that a myth? do i give a fuck?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I like shel silverstein and everything else can go FUCK ITSSELF. also john donne and rumi etc etc leave me alone

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

All my gift are kinda dumb and once lya gave me a rock and it was the tits

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

im allergic to that SHIT

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

im not meticulous about anything. main life flaw

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

hella grey. i love it.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

Sean :( hopefully this summer!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

what the FUCK. but also white daises bc theyre my fave flower okay leave me alone.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I go on walk and splash in puddles and stay outside as long as I can and then read and sleep!

68: what's winter like where you live?

endless and fantastic when the skiing is good

69: what are your favorite board games?

trouble

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

yeah but like also prob inaccurately 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast cuz im classy 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yup

73: what are some of your worst habits?

migraines, talking myself out of things

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

they are wild and loud but secretly so intelligent and thoughtful. They finally figured out thier haircut and I miss them everyday I’m without them because they are my home and my safety and sometimes I feel useless without them to anchor me.

75: tell us about your pets!

Ceilidh - sweet baby angel with too much strength and visits the neighbors and would kill anyone who tried to hurt me

Uma - cuddley as fuck but is not attached to anyone or anything and might run away and join the circus except her anxiety is off the fucking charts and she needs to protected

Wykeham - literal idiot with bad hearing and eyesight and shouldnt even be alive but he just wants to drink water and sleep all day preferably on your chest and he is so dumb though he also needs to be protected at all costs cause idk how he made it this far.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

so much

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

IM ALLERGIC TO THAT SHIT

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I prefer indifference and non affiliation

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

light up a golf course at night to dance with me after a FIRST DATE. next level

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

after The Wallpaper i fought and painted them Canary Yellow which is bright as fuck and helps separate myself from the subdued Hell House outside the door

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

if the water in your sink was suddenly beautiful

82: are/were you good in school?

does it even matter if i am or was

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk but i really like join us by TMBG

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

unsure

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

no sorry

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

eh

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

harold and maude, TLM 2

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

COBRA

89: are you close to your parents?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Amsterdam is perfect and so is the netherlands and I love it there and I miss it.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

This year is just within US, MN, Chi, and Portland. Maybe sweden this winter.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

im on this earth for cheese

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

uh none? short hair? shit whats a hairstyle?

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Madeline!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Im SMing a show~

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

who has the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INFJ, Aries, and i dont remember... it was gryffindor or hufflepuff

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

this morning. its my shit

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

unchained melody elvis version

honest truth typhoon

common sentiments typhoon

say you love me

comeback kid

so many more but i just wanna finish this

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future for SURE 5 years ago was shit thats why. even if the future is worse it still dont want to relive dating andy

[viralhottopics]

Dogs dont like reggae they love it: 10 top tracks to play for your best friend | Rhik Samadder

The pets reportedly have their own distinctive tastes, but prefer reggae and soft rock to classical: so heres a top 10 of dog-friendly tunes

A study by the University of Glasgow has discovered that dogs prefer soft rock and reggae over other genres of music, conclusively proving mans best friend has the taste of an embarrassing uncle hectoring the DJ at a wedding.

At a rehoming centre in the Scottish town of Dumbarton researchers played dogs a variety of music, during which heart rate monitoring and behavioural observation showed that stress levels dropped while listening to the unlikely genre bedfellows. There are unconfirmed reports that the dogs absolutely lost their minds when researchers cranked a mashup of Beenie Man vs Steely Dan. According to a schnauzer who was at the event: It shouldnt have worked, but it just did.

Despite evidence that dogs dont just like reggae but in fact love it, the mutts also responded well to Motown, classical and pop tracks. For Professor Neil Evans, the mixed response suggests that like humans, our canine friends have their own individual music preferences. His conclusion will make sense to anyone who has ever met a dog: its hard to imagine a St Bernard listening to anything other than Bing Crosby, or a bug-eyed chihuahua who wasnt constantly experiencing paranoid flashbacks to a soundtrack of hard German techno.

Following the findings, the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has equipped its kennels with sound systems, and compiling canine-appropriate playlists. Its safe to assume Lee Scratch Perry and Joe Cocker are lead candidates, but which other dog-friendly artists and songs deserve a place in the pack? Heres 10 for your starter; feel free to add your own.

1 Doggy Dog World, by Snoop Dogg ft Tha Dogg Pound

Photograph: Joseph Okpako/Redferns

From the Doggystyle album. This is surely the most heavily dog-referencing artist, supporting artist, song and album set in history. The platinum plaque for canine representin goes, without a doubt, straight to Snoop. (No relation to Charlie Browns pet beagle from Peanuts.)

2 Martha My Dear, by the Beatles

Photograph: PA Photos/PA

Probably the most charming love song to an old English sheepdog released in 1968. Certainly the best of McCartneys work in overrated beat combo the Beagles.

3 Leader of the Pack, by the Shangri-Las

The Shangri-Las – Leader of the Pack

The sound of puppy love. Remember when you were young? Thrilled by the world? Evolutionarily programmed to fall for the leader of the pack, to secure optimum reproductive potential? Every dogs fantasy.

4 Hound Dog, by Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley performs Hound Dog

You aint nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time. Hugely controversial choice, certainly among the hound community. Hounds are the original gun dogs, a hard-working, emotionally resilient and diverse sporting group. They also have a very strong union, so you wont catch me saying anything bad about them.

5 Bitch, by Meredith Brooks

Meredith Brooks Bitch

A 90s ode to mothers of puppies and female empowerment. Brooks wrote the song after she saw a dachshund-doberman cross, and realised anything is possible.

6 Can Your Monkey Do the Dog, by Rufus Thomas

Rufus Thomas – Can Your Monkey Do The Dog

Can my who do the what-now? How did this get on here? Its a pretty weird suggestion. Im sure theres some corner of the internet that will cater to such a twisted scenario, but this isnt it.

7 Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol

Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars

Self-explanatory. I would have accepted Chasing Pavements by Adele, except it makes zero sense.

8 Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War, by Paul Simon

Paul Simon – Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After the War

Arguably too conceptually dense for most dogs. Look at the number of prepositions in the title alone. Rene and Georgette Magritte, with their dog, after the war. Why didnt he call it Wonderwall? Still, a literate breed a King Charles spaniel, or an Irish setter might get some enjoyment out of this.

9 Who Let the Dogs Out? by the Baha Men

Baha Men – Who Let The Dogs Out

Because whoever did is a bloody hero. This one goes out to all the dogs who currently need the toilet. Hoo! Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!

10 I Love My Dog, by Cat Stevens

Cat Stevens – I Love My Dog

I love my dog more than I love you? Yeah right give it up, Yusuf Islam. A cat by any other name still aint getting on this list. Take a walk.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2kbnwtv

from Dogs dont like reggae they love it: 10 top tracks to play for your best friend | Rhik Samadder