#I didn't say killswitch engage once

[accursedkaleeshi]

Depressing Grievous Headcanon: Separatist Control Measures

        So, I think it is canon that the Separatists did A LOT of horrible shit to Grievous in his abominable rebirth to ensure they had as much control over him as possible. Obviously Sidious put a lot of stock into his capacity for extremely efficient murder. They wouldn’t just build an unstoppable rage machine & let him loose in the galaxy. That bitch is expensive & full of secrets. Did I mention he was EXPENSIVE.

        The Separatist control measures in place for General Grievous were all internal. They built him to be unstoppable from the outside. Dooku could see where he was at all times. There was hardware deep in his head casing that transmitted all of his readings to the sith in charge. His location, his bio & mechanical readouts, his comms which could have extended to splicing into his voice modulator & knowing everything he ever said. Yikes. There were signals he gave off & received that were encrypted specifically so that Grievous would not intercept them himself.

(Maybe he tried to break past the firewalls in his own fucking body once & it alerted the goths. I could write an entire fic about this, what is wrong with me.)

        Other things in his head included a number of neural inhibitor chips like directly in the brain meat. There were definitely 2 that he knew for sure were there that, if he were paying attention, he could pinpoint when & why they activated. There were probably more. The inhibitor chips get their own post bc I use them to explain pieces of TCW Grievous that makes him a bitch ass & its fun.

        I have a headcanon that Grievous usually only slept in a vat (bactavat? You know, evil scientist human-sized vats of mysterious fluid & plot devices) at scheduled times. The Separatists did this as another layer of control like when your parents tell you to call them every 2 hours. They used cyborg naptime to plug stuff in, gather readings, & make sure all of the other control methods were operating. Maybe on occasion the Count would take the opportunity to do some Sith Inception shit (like “You know what would be a great idea? Steal the Chancellor” lol). Grievous was actually perfectly capable of sleeping outside of government mandated patch day, but they gaslit him into thinking he shouldn’t.

        I have pointed out that Grievous’ frame was built to maximize damage in combat & not specifically for longevity. He was the face of the Clone Wars to burn bright & fast. He’s a weaponized Apple product in that was overdesigned on purpose to encourage planned obsolescence. He required very specific parts made from one very top secret set of molds & materials. His bacta vessel (that I am still refusing to call gut sack, thanks) & the specific mixture of bacta & nutrients that kept him alive were top tier secret. Grievous was not allowed to know its composition. Even his punk ass doctor droid was not allowed to know its composition. The Separatists did this to try & ensure that if Grievous ever DID manage to go rogue, if all of their control measures failed, that he was in for a slow, miserable death in which there was no honor. (Sidenote: he would definitely be smart enough to adapt but he definitely already wanted to die so, it’s a toss up.)

        Last thing I will bring up: I think there was almost definitely a remote kill switch. Like it’d be dumb as shit to build a killer robot with anger issues & 4 laser swords & NOT put a kill switch in it, right? Palpatine probably had the button. Grievous just assumed there was a kill switch, bc he’s not stupid, so being instantly nuked on the whim of Sidious was usually enough for him to follow orders he might not have wanted to. (Save Nute Gunray’s ass, save Dooku’s ass from the same witch two times, etc.) Grievous also operated under the assumption that if he crossed his sith masters hard enough, not only would they just body him, they would turn their turrets on Kalee.

        Super secret collab headcanons about the kill switch that you get for actually reading all of this (& a kiss bc ilu): The kill switch wasn’t anything sophisticated, just a little charge. Planted right on the back of his heart. If activated it would fuck up all of the pumps in there, shorting everything into overdrive until catastrophic failure. Best case scenario for him: someone kills him while this is happening or something explodes. Otherwise, if he just stopped running it’d take like 5 to 10 minutes for his brain to starve & die. He’d have enough time be fully aware that Sidious didn’t even have the decency to grant him a swift death & be pissed before loss of functions.

@37-battle-droids, my cohort at Sad Star Wars Dudes University, suggested a hypothetical plot point wherein Wat Tambor may have been so proud of his work on Grievous that he sabotaged the kill switch. Which, in the context of the Battle of Coruscant, would be hilarious if Grievous decided “What if I just killed this old guy in front of his grand republic army” & Palpatine lowkey frantically clicking a button like, “shitshitshit”.

[patternsintraffic]

My 100 Favorite Albums of the 2000s: Honorable Mentions 2 of 2

OK. This is it, I promise. At some point I have to stop listing albums from my youth. ...Right?

Seriously, thanks for reading and I hope I either introduced you to or reminded you of some great music from an underappreciated musical decade. I know I enjoyed myself! Next time you hear from me it should be with new music news in tow!

Hotwire - The Routine (2003)

I remember coming across Hotwire at a friend's house while we were in some rarely-visited corner of the Internet seeking out new music. The song was either "Not Today" or "Hands on You" (either would have done plenty to catch my attention) and I made a point to follow the band after that and pick up their first and only album The Routine. The album is classified as alternative metal, but it's not far at all from louder emo acts like Taking Back Sunday, Thursday, or Thrice. Hotwire were on the Ozzfest tour in 2003 and also toured with the likes of Mogwai, Darkest Hour, Killswitch Engage, and Atreyu. It's hard for me to imagine them fitting in with that crowd, as they had such a melodic and pop-leaning side to their music that most of those bands lack. Put them on a few tours with those aforementioned emo bands and I think they gain a much larger following. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.

Jonezetta - Popularity (2006)

Jonezetta was one of the few Tooth & Nail bands from this decade that didn't make a big impression on the scene. I couldn't tell you why, because Popularity is full of danceable, infectious pop rock that easily stands toe to toe with its contemporaries. "Get Ready (Hot Machete)," "Man in a 3k Suit," and "Backstabber" are painfully radio-ready, as are most of the other songs on the record. There are so many alternate universes where one of these tracks catch on and Jonezetta is a household name, rather than fading into obscurity after their quietly-released second album.

Mae - The Everglow (2005)

Here's a Tooth & Nail record that took off. The Everglow is deserving of its scene classic status; a concept album with 15 tracks of uplifting and catchy melodic rock. The songs are triumphant, anthemic, and inspirational, and there are no real weak links in the tracklist. For some reason I never quite claimed this album as my own and developed a deep personal connection with it. I think the praise for it was so effusive that it turned me off; I was averse to following popular trends in that way. But my college bandmates loved it and it was often blasting in the car while we drove around campus or to and from band practice. I will definitely be picking this one up on vinyl the next time it is pressed so I can spend some more long-overdue time with The Everglow.

Manic - A Strange Audience (2008) [Pictured: Another New Home (2007)]

I decided when compiling my original list that I would only include albums that were officially released. But when I expanded to honorable mentions I had to include this album that was recorded for Suretone/Geffen in 2008 and never saw the light of day. I have a pretty wild history with this band, starting, once again, with DC101's New Music Mart. In 2003, they featured "No Words" by a band called Bemus. It took me quite a while to hunt the song down, but once I did it became my favorite song for a while. It was like Incubus with a harder edge, and I couldn't get enough. I followed the band for a few years, checking their website every few weeks waiting for word about an album release. But much to my dismay, it never happened. Bemus dissolved and some of the members went on to form Manic, which released two great EPs in Floor Boards and Another New Home. Again, I waited with baited breath for a promised full-length, and again it didn't materialize. Manic posted on their Myspace page in 2008 that the album they completed, titled A Strange Audience, would not be released by their label, but they would send the tracks to anyone who wanted them via email. I wrote that email posthaste, and soon received 14 masterful spacey/shoegazey rock tracks that were sparse, strange, haunting, experimental, ambient, unique, and captivating. All those descriptors are an attempt to say, it's hard to classify this album. It's not immediate, but it does have great hooks that sink in after a few listens. It's a bit weird, but not so much that it keeps the listener at arm's length. I'm happy to say that I recently worked with YouTuber irreversiblemess, someone who shares my zest for music preservation, to post both A Strange Audience and the unreleased Bemus album on his YouTube channel in full. If I have anything to say about it, at least a few people will take advantage of the ability to hear these gems that were almost lost to time. There is also a full-length version of Another New Home on streaming services which is made up of Manic's two officially-released EPs plus a couple of cuts from A Strange Audience. Neither band nor label seem to be involved in the distribution of that album, so I have no idea how it came to be. But I'm glad those songs are on streaming and encourage anyone to check those out as well. They're great! The Bemus/Manic guys must have been one of the unluckiest group of musicians in history, getting so close twice without ever having a full-length album released. The music reveals that they deserved so much better.

Margot & the Nuclear So and So's - The Dust of Retreat (2006)

I needed a bit of convincing to even check this album out, as I was pretty turned off by the band name Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. But I eventually gave in when I found out some friends were really enjoying The Dust of Retreat. These are mostly acoustic tracks led by the delicate voice of Richard Edwards, and they lope along with an uneasy gait, like you're listening in on an audio diary that wasn't really meant to be heard by anyone but Edwards himself. Songs like "Skeleton Key" and "Quiet As a Mouse" have undeniable hooks, but what stands out most when I think about this album are the unique production choices. There is an eerie undertone of foreboding that hangs over these otherwise beautiful and gentle songs, making for a fascinating and never-quite-comfortable listen.

Midtown - Forget What You Know (2004)

I was familiar with Save the World, Lose the Girl and Living Well Is the Best Revenge, but I never became well-acquainted with either. Midtown's final album, 2004's Forget What You Know, was the one to draw me in on the strength of singles "Give It Up" and "Empty Like the Ocean." These songs have more big rock riffs and bombastic production than the band's earlier emo output, and frontman Gabe Saporta grapples quite a bit throughout the album with religion and the state of our world. By the time you reach the loop that repeats ad nauseam to close out the album a la "Goodbye Sky Harbor," it's clear that you've just heard an important and well-thought-out piece of work.

Saosin - Saosin (2006)

The indie community was shocked when frontman Anthony Green departed Saosin just as they were gaining momentum on the strength of their debut EP Translating the Name. But the band barely missed a beat when the position was assumed by then-teenage vocalist Cove Reber, who more than capably maneuvers through 12 high-energy post-hardcore/alt-rock tracks including standouts "It's Far Better to Learn," "Voices," "I Never Wanted To," and "Bury Your Head." I rarely reach for this one since I wouldn't call it my go-to genre, but I never regret it when I do.

Steel Train - Trampoline (2007)

Before Jack Antonoff was a member of Fun. and then producer to the stars, he headed up Drive-Thru Records pop/rock/folk hybrid Steel Train. I happened to be on a kick with their second album Trampoline when I got my first smartphone, and while playing with all the new features I put mp3s of the album on my phone so I could take it on the go. I never got around to uploading any more music, so every time I went into the local files on that phone I was reminded of this very good album. Antonoff's youthful and urgent delivery is captivating on songs like "Kill Monsters in the Rain," "Dakota," and "Firecracker." The organic instrumentation and often-noodley guitar performances are a far cry from his current output with Bleachers, and well worth a listen if you are a more recent fan.

Test Your Reflex - The Burning Hour (2007)

I don't remember exactly how I came across Test Your Reflex's "Pieces of the Sun," but I was enamored with the blend of '80s pop influence with current indie rock. And that chorus! (*chef's kiss*) The Burning Hour has one of the best opening three-song stretches that I've ever heard, passing the baton from the undeniable "I'm Not Sorry" to the aforementioned "Pieces of the Sun" and then to the slightly quieter and more new-wave-leaning "Thinking of You." While the rest of the album doesn't match the peak of the first three tracks (and how could it, really?), it is full of engaging songs that hint at a successful career to come. Unfortunately, singer Ryan Levine and company could never settle into a groove and consistently build on the promise of this debut album. They changed their name to No Country in 2009, but only ever released some one-off tracks on Myspace. They appeared in the film Jennifer's Body and had a couple of original songs on the soundtrack, but they were attributed to Low Shoulder, their in-movie moniker. In 2014 they reemerged as Wildling, were signed to Warner Brothers, and released a few singles and an EP, but that band appears to now be defunct as well. In 2021 Levine has resurfaced yet again, releasing three singles under his own name. I hope that he can stick with one project long enough to consistently create and release music. He is clearly a talented writer and performer, but all the shuffling and reshuffling over the years has kept the volume of his output pretty low.

This Providence - Who Are You Now? (2009)

Who Are You Now? is This Providence's final full-length album, and probably their least celebrated. But I'm a sucker for these sugary pop rock tracks, even when the lyrical content gets a little shallow. When I started my career, I had a CD player/clock/radio at my desk, and the radio signal in my office was iffy at best. I brought a handful of CDs into the office, including this one, and it was the album most often soundtracking my accounts payable duties at a volume low enough to stay contained to my cubicle. Honestly, I just skimmed through the album for the first time in years and I was immediately singing along with every track. Hooks abound! I think I've just rediscovered a love for this album in real time. It probably should have been included in the top 100. #justiceforthisprovidence

[iammamenow]

🔮Dream Snippet💤

This Evening: 'Karl Satan', featuring Misha Collins

My friend and I are avid metalheads. So much so, in fact, that we concluded that if we'd have known each other before our officially meeting in college, we would've led drastically different lives for the better. Our music tastes made us the quintessential outcasts throughout our childhood, in our differently placed yet all too similar environments of the unforgiving grammar school setting. And if we'd have been together, instead of rebelling alone? Hell. We would've been fucking merciless; scaring off all those who tried to subdue us with 'Slipknot'.

Luckily, we didn't miss each other entirely. It was she that managed to get tickets to our local Knotfest, and since then we've practically been inseparable. We have a whole list of other acts we NEED to see. Jinjer, Cherry Bombs, System of A Down... Killswitch Engage is one of the more recent ones added to the list.

And it keeps on building from there.

Blame the die-hard fan in me, but I even go so far as to dream of the concerts we'll see, and the bands that'll be headlining it. Very rarely is it ever as detailed with the opening number.

So you can only imagine my surprise when this little nightly fantasy in particular came in and dropped kick the bomb on me from up close instead of merely from up high.

Because as much as I love metal, Supernatural comes in at a very, very close second.

Onto the dream! That way you'll see what I mean.

My friend and I are already at the venue. We gave up the idea of seats and smuggled our way into the nearest pit where there was already a circle forming, whirling in rhythm to the revving up of the amps testing out the guitars. It had been years since I'd been in one. I jump in, just in time for the wave that comes our way. My friend decides to watch from the sidelines. To my chaotic, she is the zen. Even at a metal concert, where we both inevitably lose our shit, but in our own way.

Soon the tests of chords cease from the guitars, the rhythmic hits from each individual drum and symbol cut. That long drone of bassy silence fills the entire place with that unsaid but solid presence of a queue - someone's about to go on.

The crowd cheers. My friend and I - along with the whole circle pit - turn to look at the stage and do the same. Naturally. No matter who's up there, you cheer. It's a metal concert, for Satan's sake. More than likely, every fucking band is gonna knock your ass out. I haven't been proven wrong if that yet.

And I certainly wasn't in my dream.

The five souls that come walking across the stage are oh so gothically dressed, it warms my heart to it's original sad core. The drama in the abundance of buckles, glinting a brilliant gold in the overhead stage lights; then the overall theatricality of the fact that their whole theme just mirrors that of my favorite horror movie 'Hellraiser' and it's main antagonists, The Cenobites. I was ready. I was waiting, already wanting the onslaught of their sound that I just knew had to be fucking brutal. I mean look at the way they're dressed! We were in for it.

Oh, we were.

I was.

The one stopping in front of the mic had an elaborate coverall mask on, save for the bottom half of his face. And when he took it off to reveal the rest of it, everyone cried out in bloody shock and praise.

I just went quiet.

My friend yelled out for me the "holy SHIT" that was already on my lips and screeching in my head when the now unmasked figure introduced himself as none other than the angel in a trenchcoat. The man that plays him, that is.

Misha Collins

I couldn't tune out the world around me if I tried. I didn't want to. Not even if I was in absolute shock. I do not allow myself to fade off into some haze or other ethereal realm when it comes to events like this. I want to be there, in that moment; one that I made it all this way for. For all concerts generally. For metal concerts specifically.

I just need to be there. All there.

And man, in that moment, was I fucking glad I was.

After making himself known, Misha turns to the band and introduces them as 'Karl Satan'. I know there was a deeper joke in there, i just know it. But I was too busy laughing at the name alone to even dissect it any further. Frankly, so was the audience. Such a hearty chorus brought a smile to Misha's lips.

As he readied the mask to be put back on again, he made one final claim as himself to say that he formed this cover band to try his hand at "this music shtick", just like the rest of his cast mates from the show. Personally, I never had any doubt that he had something like this in his artillery; something akin to a band or music act. But like this? Hell no. Hell. No! Hence making it all the more lovely of a surprise.

With that, the mask went back on, and he sent a nod the drummers way before the lights faded out, leaving us in an anticipating darkness. Almost as quickly as it set in for us did it get fucking shot with the sharp bash of the symbols, joined by the aftershocks of the snares.

It's starting. Holy fuck, it's starting!

The rhythm was classic, dangerously revving up to what you could literally taste to be a sweet drop. Above all, it was familiar. My friend and I were in perfect sync with Misha, when through the mask he screamed through gnashed teeth:

"THE YEARS I PUT INTO THIS!!"

His leadership was seamless; effortless. Without question, you would believe that he had done this before. With the headbangs intertwined in the thrumming veins of both the percussive guitar riff and the drums, he would channel his power back and forth. First he would go, then the audience.

The circle pit was a whole world of it's own. No. It was a black hole, sucking in other fans who caught a glance at it, and soon as they did, wanted to join the fray. I even got my friend to come in and join me in the air, where they hoisted me up once the center of the circle started to disappear with the amount of people swallowing up all the empty space. We were floating orbs in this fanatic atmosphere. Two circulating asteroids in the midst of a hailstorm of meteors, heading straight for the center our universe - the stage.

It was fucking AMAZING.

And so utterly filled with Misha-esque quips of humor and theatricality, making it feel all the more REAL. For example, as the opening number progressed, he would add little bits of harsh criticism of his own voice and caliber of scream. Then after the next song, he would transition with a story on how he auditioned to play a demon for Supernatural in the first place, and has since taken the rejection hard. "Can you tell? I started singing about it! Singing? Screaming? You get the idea. Yeah, you get it. I know you do". He then laughs suddenly, throwing his head back. He brings the mic up to follow that of his mouth, facing skyward. "Wait, wait! How shitty would it be if I would've actually gotten that fucking role if I'd have just done THIS?! Just SCREAM AT THEM?!" Like second nature does his Castiel voice come out. He even took of the mask again so that he could throw on the whole audience that quintessential doe eyed gaze of the angel's, complete with the head tilt. "Would you call me an angel then, Dean?" His own guffaw, bringing Misha back. "There you go. That's how Cas got his voice. He kept screaming into the void *Castiel voice* and came back out with this... As for the others, I can't speak for them. They wanna speak two octaves below their normal voice, who am I to say anything? Trick question. I'm the one who can't say anything because I'm too busy getting a sore throat all the time. Thanks, Cas. Love you, too. That bitch".

Forget what I said. AMAZING doesn't cut it. It was fucking GOLD.

And above all, it was a fucking DREAM.

I woke up eventually, and here I am three or so days later writing about it, still reeling from it.

I have only to conclude that the two things that make me happy are what seems to be a mirror with it's two sides, representing one thing in the reflection: the one thing that made me happy back then, and the one that makes me happy now.

I thought I had to outgrow one. Just like I think currently that I'll soon have to outgrow the other.

But do I? Do I really?

They go so well together.

Perhaps the real question is, what if they both don't wanna leave?