#I didn't proofread this so I will be making some edits on the future!

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ OF BROKEN RECORDS AND A GOLDEN FUTURE.

fandom. formula one

pairing. max verstappen x stunt woman fem!reader (fc: giulia steingruber)

about. y/n l/n is one of hollywood's best stunt women and her boyfriend is the biggest fan of her work

content warnings. social media au, not edited/proofread

notes. we're back with yet another max smau, y'all really love him (i do as well). unlike my first smau, i'm not completely satisfied with this one but better this than nothing 😭

VOGUE has posted a new video!

Y/N Y/L/N answers 10 Questions | Vogue

user woah, i didn't know y/n was training for the freaking olympics??

⤷ user it makes sense, gymnastics gave her a solid foundation, if not an advantage over other stunt women/people

⤷ user no wonder she's so highly sought after

user in another universe i just know she won the olympics

user until today, i've never heard of y/n but her achievements are crazyyyy. and to think of, she has at least another ten years if not more in the industry

⤷ user right?? she's absolutely insane, always going up to her limit and still surpassing herself everytime. her work is really admirable

user MOTHER Y/N IS IN VOGUE, WE WON

YOURUSERNAME

liked by maxverstappen1, dc, angelinajolie and 108'337 others

yourusername I'm proud to announce another project for 2025! I'll be working alongside @/dc to portray Black Canary's stunts in the newest Green Arrow movie. We still have a long way to go, but we've already achieved so much. If you're interested in some BTS scenes, watch out for the newest video, where I take you all on a small tour on set!

user MOTHER IS MOTHERING AAAAAHHH

user SHE'S BLACK CANARY FUCK YES

user oh i just know the fighting scenes will slay

dc We couldn't imagine a better stunt woman for our Black Canary!

user we have to wait a whole year 🫠

angelinajolie It's always a pleasure to work with you, Y/n! To an Oscar-worthy movie 👏

⤷ yourusername To an Oscar-worthy movie and other awards 🙌

user y/n is so fucking broad 😳

⤷ user she could choke me with her arms- *gets shot*

⤷ user no no, please continue

maxverstappen1 So, so proud of you, schatje ❤️

⤷ yourusername Right back at you, my champion 💙

user THE RED/BLUE HEARTS MADE A RETURN

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YOURUSERNAME

liked by maxverstappen1, chrishemsworth and 199'563 others

yourusername I can't believe it... Furiosa has been nominated for 7 Taurus World Stunt Awards and won 5 of them. It has been an absolute honor to work alongside my collegues for this movie

user SHE WON BEST OVERALL STUNT BY A STUNT WOMAN AND BEST WORK WITH A VEHICLE THAT'S 2 OUT OF 5 AWARDS FOR A WHOLE MOVIE OH MY GOOOOOODDDD

maxverstappen1 I never doubted you. So incredibly proud of you ❤️

⤷ yourusername I couldn't have done it without you by my side, Maxy 💙

⤷ maxverstappen1 Doubtful.

⤷ maxverstappen1 Just accept the compliment, schatje

⤷ maxverstappen1 You're the most incredible woman I know, your drive and passion are admirable- why do you think I love you so much?

⤷ maxverstappen1 I love you and I'm very proud of you❤️

⤷ yourusername And now I'm sobbing... I love you too, so so much

user i came here to have a great time with y/n winning awards but now i'm in fetal position, rocking myself I FEEL SO FUCKING SINGLE

user STOP THIS, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO JSADFHJBJH

user there is no bigger y/n fan than max verstappen...

⤷ user if y/n has no fans left, max verstappen is dead...

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MAXVERSTAPPEN1

liked by redbullracing, yourusername and 1'487'729 others

maxverstappen1 Nothing better than ending a glorious season with you by my side. Schatje, to more broken records and a golden future ❤️

yourusername To more broken records and a golden future with you 💙

yourusername Love you, love you, love you so so much 💙💙💙

comments on this post have been limited

taglist. @lilypadlover, @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @namgification , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @lupicalbestwolf , @akiraquote

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[tcustodisart]

Because the farm is really Shadowheart's ending I was thinking, what would be Connie's post-game thing (he loves the farm life to pieces, but I was thinking, you know, if he was a companion what he'd be talking about during the epilogue party). And I came up with this idea - he writes and illustrates the very first Guide to the Birds of Faerûn. I don't want to torment you with my words, so if you're interested, the rest is under the cut. It's long but there are some additional doodles there.

About the book:

The book is basically like Collins Bird Guide. Including very detailed descriptions of what sounds the birds make.

Connie's already in touch with a publisher (recommended by Volo)

While Shadowheart does proofreading to see if it's digestible for non-bird-obsessed people, Connie's stepfather and Arnell help him with fact checking.

Connie was consulting Halsin while writing about waterfowl.

The book's dedication reads: "To my dearest wife and our four dogs, eight cats, nine chickens, six pigeons, four sheep, Daphne the milk cow, the odd little squirrel, Buttons and last but not least, our crow."

He thought that dedication was hilarious.

After publishing the book, he's been getting at least one letter every week regarding it.

Thanks to these letters the book gets improved with further editions.

He gets invited to various schools across the country to hold lectures but he almost always declines. (Public speeches aren't his thing and he also doesn't want to leave the farm that often.)(He made one exception for Gale because he asked very nicely and didn't take no for an answer).

Far in the future nobody remembers him as one of the heroes who saved Baldur's Gate. He's being remembered as one of Faerûn's best ornithologists.

Other companions reactions:

Lae'zel genuinely liked the book. So much in fact, she read it more than once.

Tara hates Mondays.

I projected on Karlach how hard it is to read books sometimes.

The scary part of the book was the birds of prey section.

Jaheira didn't even read the book, but she does a bang up job pretending she did. She's still very proud.

Shadowheart read it so many times during proofreading she could recite some parts with her eyes closed. For a week she had nightmares about geese.

Details:

Because whenever I make a drawing with a proper background I like talking about the details I put there. So:

The picture of magpies on the wall is the same one Connie gave Shadowheart in this comic. She kept it in the same book she kept the first night orchid he gave her.

That brigs us to the night orchid next to magpies. It's the same one.

There's a doodle of Shadowheart and Daphne near the window.

As references for all the feathers in this drawing I used feathers from my own collection.

Wooden duck is obviously the one Halsin gives you in the epilogue.

The bird drawings are from this drawing I made almost 3 years ago.

Oof, thank you for reading all that, here's one last doodle:

[lvlyghost]

pairings: simon riley x f!reader

summary: reader suffers from a chronic illness and ghost finds out.

wc: 1.1k

tw: chronic pain, chronic illness, slight angst i think, comfort. not edited and not proofread. that's it.

a/n: sorry y'all i'm struggling a lot with writer's block lately so i'm writing these silly little things to help me out of it so don't mind me!

By the moment Ghost enters his shared office he's frowning so hard that he fears it might leave a permanent mark on his forehead. The first day wasn't unusual as it was normal for soldiers, technicians and federal agents to come and go. Gaz is humming under his breath and greets him with a slight nod when he spots him but he barely returns the gesture. His desk is full of reports waiting to be filled some labeled 'Urgent' in big red letters.

Sitting down he manages to get done the first stack of papers but his mind was lost elsewhere barely paying attention to the work he never had trouble getting done in no time. Part of him wonders if Kyle will tease him if he asked about her. But better asking him than Johnny. As he leans back in his chair, fidgeting with the pen in his hands. Gaz barely pays attention, too enraptured by whatever he's watching on his own computer.

"Where's the girl?"

The Sergeant startles at the sudden sound of his deep voice. Hard and demanding.

"Sir?" He half chuckles when brown eyes meet each other.

"Have you seen her? She's supposed to report back to me and she hasn't." It was only half a truth. She did have to report to him every progress made for future missions, give him the intel so he can report to the Captain. The thing was, there were no missions taking place soon. No black ops, nothing. But Kyle didn't know that.

Gaz lifts his brows, trying to figure out who his Lieutenant was talking about, until it hits him.

"Oh." He murmurs. "The tech girl, Lt?" He shrugs. "Haven't seen her in a few days, have you tried calling her or you know... going to the women's barracks?"

Ghost scoffs as if the mere idea was ridiculous.

"No. Guess she'll show up."

She has to.

Standing up he exits the office under Gaz's questioning look. The hallways feel endless the more he walks to the tech wing, he knows if he passes down that specific hallway he'd be able to see through the glass that serves as walls if she's there or not.

Much to his already building annoyance she's not there.

-

Rolling onto your back you squeeze your eyes shut once more. An unyielding pain throbbing in the back of your skull shoots yet another wave of nausea making you feel more miserable than ever.

It's been two days since the whole ordeal started. It began with a subtle pain that couldn't recognize the symptoms at first, merely blinking away the black dors that started to blurred your vision one afternoon when you were trying to fill the reports for Ghost, pages and pages of new intel recovered from long lost contacts online.

Saying it was hard to dig in all those dark places was an understatement. You had tried to push the symptoms of uneasiness to the back of your mind, typing and decoding algorithms for what could be days. Days without sleep or proper and much needed rest.

So, when the first wave hit you had ran to the bathroom, throwing up what little you had eaten that day. Oh how you hated it. Tears prickle in the corner of your eyes and the terror began, everything went down hill from there.

Shutting the computer off you gathered your belongings. The corridors were in complete silence, abandoned hours ago when everyone went to their dorms.

You remembered picking up some of your things from the women's barracks and retreating to your personal dorm where no one would bother you. As a member of the task force you had a place for you alone —just as the rest of the team— and you're grateful because the next days were a nightmare.

The curtains were tightly closed. Not the tiniest bit of light could pass even if the sun burned brighter. The earplugs helped but they didn't do much to alleviate the external noises. Fuck why were the soldiers so loud? You asked to yourself, jaw tight in an effort to soothe the pulsing on your forehead.

After laying in the same position for another hour you decide to get up, dragging your feet in an enormous attempt to get to the bathroom. With the lights turned off you undress as quickly as you can; standing on your feet is hard enough already but you wait nonetheless for the bath to fill with cool water.

With numb extremities you step in and lower yourself, it's almost soothing and calming the way the water swallows your body and then your head. Ever since these headaches —these migraines— started to interfere, you learned that cool water could help to ease the symptoms. Time passes by and when you emerge your teeth chatter, lips turned purple but it was worth it. God was it worth it.

You're exhausted, this has taken a toll on you. Fitting your pajamas feels like an impossible task. Your head throbs with the slightest of movement. And then the door opens just a tad, reveling the dark shadow of the man you'd recognize anywhere.

"Ghost," you murmur acknowledging his presence, half shocked half embarrassed that he's right here in your bedroom. Your bathroom.

"Why is everything dark?" His voice is too loud and it makes you flinch; he's quick to notice even in the sheer darkness. He notices the whimper in your voice when he speaks too loud. He notices the way your body sags, and when he takes a step close you lean on him. Forehead pressing down on his broad chest. "Hey." He calls you, voice lowering this time. "Let me take you to the bed."

And you almost want to say something it. Make a comment about it being inappropriate but you're too sick to even do it so you let him guide you. You let him lay you down and surprises you when he follows.

Bodies curling against the other. You rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes so hard until the pain soothes. "You never told me about it."

"Never had the chance. Thought you hated me, remember?"

Ghost sighs. He had never intended for you to feel like that around him, he just wasn't accustomed to having such a nice person around him. You were so different from everything he knew.

"Forgive me, love." He mutters. "They're gonna start asking questions."

"What do you mean?" You grab him by the shirt when a sudden wave of nausea hits you. He caresses your hair in a calming manner.

"I asked Garrick about you." Before you can fight it a smile spreads on your face.

"Johnny..." you snort, regretting it the moment the laugh rattles in your brain. The Scot is about to have a field day when he finds out. "Ow..."

"Will never hear the end of it." His thumb presses down on your temple massaging the spot. "Better?"

"Yeah." There's a moment of brief silence where all you can hear is the sound of feet outside your dorm. People carrying on with their lives. "Would you stay with me tonight Lt.?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

[velvetcloxds]

Sitting on charlie swan's lap trying to get his attention/distracting him or just talking about yor day.

PATIENCE | C.S.

word count: 0.6k

warnings: age gap, talk about getting married, quickly proofread, hoping tumblr doesn't screw up my ending again

"I want to marry you," you hummed from Charlie's lap, fingers digging through his beard as you cupped his face lightly in your hands. If the man hadn't been caught by surprise by you settling right on his lap without a single word, that little statement certainly did it. He lost all interest in the game he'd been watching, abandoning his beer on the table next to him, hand instead moving to your back to support you.

"You do now?" his tone was curious giving away just how intrigued you had him with such a simple sentence, bringing it up just as easily as you'd remind him to stop for milk before coming home from the station.

"I do," you nodded and sighed, in thought as if you were picturing it, tuning out the details, and then you smiled, holding onto him a little tighter and he didn't mind, simply adoring the sight of you dreaming wide awake. "Nothing fancy, just us two and Bella, maybe Edward, definitely Billy and Jacob," you were moving, shifting so you were almost straddling him, truly the only comfortable one but he was willing to wait it out. "We can go down to city hall and I can wear a pretty white dress with big poofy sleeves and we can go to the diner afterward to have pie instead of cake, we could have our first dance as husband and wife right in this living room."

"You don't think you deserve more than that?" his hand was brushing up and down your back, soothing you, telling you that you had all of his attention, telling you to keep going.

"More than you?" you shook your head, unimpressed by the foolishness of the question, how could he think a future with him wasn't more than you'd ever deserved to begin with, let alone that you'd need more. "Got any ideas for our song?" you quipped and he shrugged, fighting a smile when you moved your hands to his head, threading through his hair as you gave your own question some thought.

"Something from the sixties," he beat you to it and the smile that dipped into your lips proved that he was on the right track. "Though I don't think it matters, I'll step on your toes no matter what," you giggled, he was very right but you didn't think you'd mind if he did.

"We'd be barefoot," you informed him, happy to edit your little dream to make it perfect. "So it wouldn't hurt as much," you added and he smiled, he didn't dare hide it, happy to see you happy, knowing that after the week you'd had, seeing you like this meant the stress was fading.

"Sweetheart," he almost purred and the softness of his voice made you shiver, leaning into him, elbows on his shoulders as you nodded to make him continue. "Is this a proposal?" he pressed and you bit your lip, considering it, and that was where your perfect plan reached a plot hole, you never decided on that part.

"Maybe," you shrugged and then shook your head. "No, it's not," you decided and you weren't all that happy to hear a car pull up in the driveway, Bella coming home from a night out with Edward. "Don't think we're ready yet, but I know we'll be ready one day," you explained and it was ridiculous, the way you wanted to melt into his arms even more, feeling silly for how sure you sounded of yourself but it made him fall in love with you even more, as simple as it was, as silly as it was, as clear as you could see your little wedding day, the future he saw with you was just as clear, now more than ever.

"And what if I'm ready now?" you bit your lip, wishing there was a way to make time stop for just a few more minutes so you could appreciate this moment with him as you tried to figure out what exactly you'd done to get so very lucky.

"Then you'll just have to be patient, Chief Swan," the kiss you gave him wasn't at all long enough for his liking and he wasn't at all impressed when the front door swung open and robbed him of you, your hand lingering in his hair for barely a second before you were skipping to the kitchen. "Hi, Bells," you sang as the teenager came into the house, met by the sight of you holding a plate full of brownies you'd baked earlier, something sweet that you needed after a long week and you were sure she needed them too. "You hungry?" you were already pulling out a little plate from the cupboard so there wasn't really a choice in the matter as she nodded.

Bella squeezed her father's shoulder as she passed him on her way to you, earning a mumbled greeting as he tried to focus on the game he was so entirely captivated by just a few minutes before but it was harder than he thought it would be. You jumped onto the counter listening to every word of Bella explaining her date in a whisper while nibbling at the chocolate treat but you were more than ready to lock eyes with Charlie as he turned around to meet your gaze.

"Marry me," he mouthed with a lovesick look, one you'd only gotten the chance to see on very rare occasions and you had to bite back a giggle as you shook your head with a slight shrug and a daring smile.

"Soon," you mouthed in reply and when he turned back to the television with a soft sigh his attention was further from football than ever before because if this was what his future would look like then he wasn't sure just how patient he could be.

[sungbeam]

𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐒 — part one (i – vii)

nonidol!ji changmin x f!reader

your sister's dead, but apparently that's not the most shocking news. maybe she wasn't killed on accident, maybe ji changmin isn't really human, and maybe the monsters were never under the bed but all around you...

▷ genre, warnings. strangers 2 reluctant allies/friends 2 lovers, slow burn, demon/supernatural creatures au, angst, action, murder mystery-ish au, forced proximity trope, suspense, gore, depictions of violence and blood, themes of death and grief, use/description of weaponry, swearing, a slightly unreliable narrator bc she has no idea what's happening, reader's sister is dead, mentions of stalking, humor bc coping mechanisms, reader has hair long enough to braid sorry, blood drinking, the barest of proofreading and editing done...

▷ part word count. 22.3k words / 47.4k - read part two here

▷ associated songs. teeth (5sos), wet nightmare (bibi)

a/n: i tried to make it scary I SWEAR but changmin brings the clown out of me 🤥 anyways i ripped a chunk of my heart out and im serving it to you bloodied on a gold platter, i hope u love her :') read the warnings ofc and lmk your thoughts <3 also i completely gave up on wrestling w blr so im dropping it in two parts, but both of them at once 🤣 pray for me.

#1—NEXT OF KIN.

THEY TOLD YOU YOUR SISTER'S DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT, they being the authorities who had shown up at the front door of your apartment with their caps in hand, solemn faces pressed into lines that you could not read between. The world had fallen out from beneath your feet like someone had just yanked the carpet out, and you hadn't yet stopped falling.

The funeral was set on the rolling green hills of Elysium Memorial Park, the cemetery where your parents were buried, where your grandparents were buried, and now, where your sister joined them six feet under. Generations ago, your grandparents had purchased plots for themselves and their future family members while the land was cheap. When it came for your time to leave this mortal coil behind, you too would join them in the dirt of Elysium. It almost seemed right that the sky had opened up to reveal a blindingly hot sun, not a cloud to be seen in the sky. Perhaps the sky would not weep for your sister, but celebrate her life instead.

But while the heavens above would shed nary a tear, you could make up for that loss yourself. Having little to no living relatives left, you had been expected to take responsibility for all the arrangements, all while grieving, all while studying, all while trying to not fall apart some more. You were holding it together by the zipper of your dress pants and the caffeine from your coffee. You couldn't stop crying for the entire service, the forced silence of your cries balanced by the violent tremors in your shoulders.

Your sister Sena's patch in the land was now marked by a heaping pile of dirt. She had a lot of friends—most of whom gathered behind you and had thrown their flowers upon the dirt hill. You had a few distant relatives as well who you'd managed to remember (somehow) amongst all the madness. A couple of them were able to fly out for the event, but most had to decline.

When you heard your name being called, you drew your blazer sleeve over your eyes in a futile attempt to dry them.

Walking towards you now was a couple, middle-aged, dressed in black from head to toe, not far from how you looked right now. You knew them from about a week ago when they had sought you out after the news of your sister's death spread.

You hadn't the heart to sue them when they confessed who they were. It's our fault, they told you in the quiet of the hallway outside your apartment, we're so sorry. We understand if you'd like to press charges.

Sena was a victim of an automobile accident. You didn't know the entire story—was too tired for the whole story—just shocked she was even in the country. She was supposed to be across the world for a study abroad program, but why was she discovered on the side of the road, a few towns over, inebriated and dead? She became nothing more than roadkill and a statistic in death, and maybe that was why you were so bitter.

"Yn, it was a beautiful ceremony," said the woman—Julia, she had introduced herself as that week ago. Her nose was reddened from the friction of tissue paper, her eyes damp and glittering in the sunlight. "I'm sorry you—that you have to deal with all the pomp and circumstance."

"We know you deserve your time alone," joined her husband, Carter. He tucked his hands into his pockets, mustering up a smile for your sake, but you could still see the guilt flooding his eyes with water. "We just wanted to say thank you for letting us come and pay our respects."

And for not pressing charges. But you dashed that thought away. That was the bitterness talking, but these were good people. They had come forward and been honest, and it wasn't their fault Sena was drunk. (Why in the world was she drunk and here and why didn't she tell you the truth—?)

"Thank you for coming," you replied, "I wasn't sure if you would take me up on the offer, to be honest."

You wrapped up conversation with the couple and watched them depart across the grassy hills toward their car. Your eyes surveyed the last bits of the lingering crowd for familiar faces—anyone at all. But all you found were strangers.

These were all Sena's friends, after all. She had always been the more adventurous of the two of you.

You sighed and resigned yourself to start looking for the funeral coordinator to discuss payment and the like. Though the event was over the worst was just beginning. There was so much to do, and so little energy left to perform them.

But as you began trudging through the plush grass toward the far end of the plot, you noticed a man standing beneath the shade of a nearby oak tree. He wore typical funeral attire—the black dress shirt, pants, shoes, and even a pair of rectangular shades to cover his eyes. Like many of the others, you didn't recognize him—at first.

And then he shifted, lenses of his glasses reflecting sunlight and you could just barely put together the puzzle of his face and his identity. Ji Changmin.

What was he doing here?

They were friends, too, Yn, you reminded yourself. Yet, you weren't sure why you were so surprised he was here. Maybe it was because you never remembered extending the invitation to him (but someone could have spread the news by word of mouth). Maybe it was because several months had passed since you last saw him. Maybe it was because you always thought there was something… strange about him (but that could have been your bias; there was always this thing about him that irked you). Either way, you never had anything to say to him before, and that had yet to change even in light of your sister's death.

The two of you stared each other down, and for a moment, you believed he was going to walk over to you.

But instead, he pushed off the tree trunk and made his way toward the trickle of funeral goers up the hill, leaving you to wonder after him.

The next time you saw Ji Changmin was a week after the will reading.

Because you were Sena's next of kin, you were contacted by your shared attorney about Sena's will. Apparently, she had a will. After all these years, you couldn't even fathom the idea of needing one so early, but for some reason, she had. (Maybe that worried you a little more.)

The strangest thing was that your attorney had delivered to you a flat lockbox made of steel and secured with an old fashioned lock and key. Along with the stash of money in her savings account (where the Hell had all of that come from anyway?), Sena also gave you that. Whatever it was.

You had yet to open it when you bumped into Changmin on your way out of your college's academic counseling center. With recent events, your departmental advisor called you in to discuss your academic plans for the foreseeable future.

You can take as long as you like, Yn, she'd said to you. You're already ahead of schedule to graduate anyways. But that wasn't the point was it?—

"Oh." You stopped short as you rounded the corner and nearly crashed into something. "Sorry," you said before you even recognized him.

A pair of dark, feline eyes looked you up and down. "Yn, right?" Changmin drawled. A pair of white wired earbuds hung from his ears and his shoulders were fitted with a dark colored bomber jacket that was familiar to you. You'd seen it draped over the back of one of your kitchen chairs once when Sena had him over for a project.

Your eyes shuttered. "Yeah. Changmin?"

His nod was barely there. He cocked his head to the side in a way that felt like he was trying to gaze into your soul. "I'm—I'm sorry for your loss," he said, grappling for the right words. "Sena was a good friend."

"I didn't realize the two of you were so close," you told him. This was probably the most he'd ever said to your face, and you to him.

Changmin gave a small shrug. "We worked closely together, so it was kind of inevitable. How are you doing?"

You didn't think the conversation would last this long. "Oh, uhm, I'm fine." You inwardly knocked yourself over the head. He's probably just trying to be nice, Yn. "I mean—" you amended, "—I'm doing as well as you can imagine, I guess. Just lots of legal stuff and…" Her room. Cleaning out her room. Opening the lockbox. Reading her last will and testament for the fiftieth time.

When you didn't finish your sentence right away, he nodded again, shuffling on the balls of his feet. Was he feeling as awkward as you were? "I get that. Hey, if you—y'know, like, need anything—"

"You don't have to do that."

"What about coffee? Just… to talk."

Coffee? You considered him for a second. Before, you nor he had ever given any indication to the other that you acknowledged the other's presence. In fact, you confessed to Sena once that he intimidated you, even if he was just sitting there in your shared living room while pouring over JSTOR academic essays.

He was patient, you realized. Then you relented. "Okay. When's good for you?"

You thought you saw a glimmer of relief in his eyes, but that could have just been the afternoon sunlight. "Now?"

Your eyes widened a smidge, and you coughed. "Uhm now? I—I have class…?" You didn't, but the curve ball that was an impromptu coffee session with Ji Changmin wasn't something you needed right now.

His eyebrow lifted as if he didn't believe you. "Okay," he dragged out. "Tomorrow morning?" He offered as a counter.

Your brain did cartwheels in an attempt to figure out if you would have the willpower to do that. "Okay," you said. Better to get this out of the way, right?

"Do you know that one place on Magnolia?"

"The one across from the Eight Ball?" You perked up in recognition. You and Sena used to go all the time. The two of you liked to say that Magnolia was her street because it housed all her favorite places; just the thought of taking a stroll down it made your eyes water. "Yeah, Sena and I used to go all the time."

Changmin paused, his mouth opening, then closing.

You guessed what he was thinking. "It's fine if we go. I'm not gonna like, burst into tears or anything," you chuckled awkwardly, clearing your throat when excess tear fluid made you congested.

His lips pursed, impressing a dimple into his cheek. "Okay, only if you're sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure." It seemed that everything you said to people was something like a lie nowadays.

It was late when you finally faced the lockbox.

The box was an unassuming hunk of metal, flat and slim and no bigger than a standard piece of paper. You warmed the key in your palm until it was hot to the touch and made your skin redden. The sky outside your apartment window had darkened to a blot of ink, the white shutters drawn shut to create a white paneled shield. You just finished up a very lazy dinner, washed up, and decided to confront the last thing on Sena's will.

The lockbox in the bank under my name goes to my sister, Yn Ln. She is the only one allowed access to it until she opens it; what she decides to do with the contents is her choice.

There must have been something important inside it, you reasoned, otherwise it wouldn't have been a part of the will and it wouldn't be under lock and a single key.

"What is this, Sena?" You asked aloud, venturing to twist the lock open with the key. The locking mechanism gave way, and you set the lock and key aside. The shorter end could slide open like a hidden door, and you peered into the dark depths, almost afraid of what you might find between its jaws.

You could make out the silhouettes of shapes at the bottom, the soft-cornered texture of a wad of bills. You reached in.

One of the things she had left for you in her will was all of the money in her savings account. It had shocked you to see the number—you always thought her only job was at the library, but clearly, she was not just on a librarian's salary.

Pulling out a stack of cash from the box was yet another thing that helped solidify in your mind that something was off. The confusion settled first, and then the betrayal. Had she not trusted you with this knowledge while she was alive? You were the one going into accounting and finance, and yet, she hid all of this money from you? Was she afraid of something? Afraid of judgment, of the law?

You tossed the twenties onto the table. The note slipped between the rubber band and the first piece read something along the lines of 'in case of emergency.'

You made a plunge into the box again. This time, you pulled out the last two things at the bottom, a standard white index card and a small, fabric pouch. The card displayed Sena's familiar scrawl:

You're probably wondering what any of this is, but if you're reading this, it means that something's gone wrong—like really wrong. The necklace in the pouch is super important. DON'T TAKE IT OFF. Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't trust anyone. This is really important to me, Yn. Please be safe; I love you.

x, sena.

Please be safe? Safe from who or what?

You held the note in your hand for a moment and couldn't believe this would be the last thing you received from her. It would be a tangible legacy, in a way, and you weren't sure how to feel about that. You moved the note to the table and turned your attention to the pouch.

You carefully tugged it open. She said it was a necklace, right?

"Oh," you voiced aloud while fishing out a thin, silver chain.

There was a pendant attached to the end with some heft to it. It was a deep, bloody red in the loose shape of a teardrop. There wasn't a sharp peak, but a slightly flat end on one side and a rounded end on the other. You would guess it was some kind of precious stone, but when you stared at it long enough, it looked like the color pulsed… like a heartbeat.

Your breath hitched.

Eyes narrowed, you held it up to the light by the chain. The vibrant red remained stagnant—perhaps you were just tired.

Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't take it off. Don't trust anyone.

Strange request about a necklace. For a moment, you wondered if your sister had indulged in some unsavory acts to achieve the numbers in her bank account and the previous stone in your hands. If you put this on, would you be counted as an accomplice to robbery?

"God, you just need to go to sleep, Yn," you muttered, swiftly clicking the chain into place around your neck. There was no way your sister would have anything to do with—

You froze.

From the other side of your shutters, you swore you heard the sound of shuffling. It wasn't unheard-of that the leaves and tree branches knocked against your second-floor window once in a while, but there hadn't been much wind as of late.

A chill spider-crawled up your spine as you strained your ears to hear more.

When you came up with nothing, you shoved the pendant under your shirt and cleaned up the lockbox. You had an early day tomorrow, after all; sleep was dire to face Changmin.

But as you crept into bed, you couldn't help but feel as if the stone on your sternum did have a heartbeat, and that something in the dark was watching you.

#2—GHOSTS ONLY HAUNT.

YOU STEPPED FOOT ON MAGNOLIA STREET looking for signs of your sister.

The morning air was a little cooler as spring filtered into town, and it also meant that this street in particular would begin to swirl with baby pink petals from the trees of the street's namesake flowers. There weren't many people around on a Thursday morning, but the sun peered between the buildings to say hello, at least.

You were in good company.

"Hey."

"Holy shit—" you whipped around to find Changmin almost right behind you. Your heart stuttered against your ribcage, your hand flying to your sternum where the necklace was. You were still getting used to its presence.

He gave nothing away with his facial expression. Damn him.

"I didn't realize you'd be early," you breathed as you tried to get a grip on yourself. Did this guy just materialize out of thin air everywhere?

Tongue in cheek, he said, "Well, I couldn't really sleep, so I figured the morning air might freshen me up a bit. Shall we?" He gestured with his elbow and chin to the establishment to your right.

There sat the quaint, little coffee shop you'd both agreed on yesterday. This one was one of Sena's favorites. She always claimed that their blueberry scones were the best in the world.

When you didn't say anything for a little, he cleared his throat. "We don't have to, if you can't or don't want to."

You hadn't even realized you were being quiet. Thoughts had been muddled as of late. You cleared your throat and stumbled for the door. "No, we can go in."

Two cups of coffee arrived at your table seven minutes later in compostable cups and a pile of artificial sweetener packets and creamer. You straightened in your seat across from Changmin and began ripping open sweetener packets and wondering if you should have gotten something of substance to eat. (You had stared at the blueberry scones for a long minute before deciding that today was not the day you wanted to cry in front of someone, especially this someone in particular.)

Changmin moved his cup toward his side of the table but made no move to add sugar or cream, or to even drink it.

This place was so familiar to you that you knew exactly how many packets of cream and sweetener to mix in, and you gently blew a breath over the steam floating off the surface. When the liquid hit your tongue and your throat, its warmth enveloped your nerves in a warm embrace, assuring you everything was going to be okay. The emotion hit you like a freight train.

You pressed your thumb against the rear gland in your right eye and willed it away. "So uhm," you said, fanning your eyes gently as you attempted to pull yourself together in front of him, "what… what did you wanna talk about? If there was anything?"

He folded his arms over his chest while leaning back in his chair, and you thought you saw his gaze soften. "Why don't you take another sip?" His eyes went to the coffee. "It'll help."

You couldn't deny that suggestion, and you reached for your cup to take another small gulp. The breath you let out rattled.

This was a bad idea.

"Are you gonna be okay if I talk about Sena?"

You nursed the coffee cup in your hands and nodded slowly.

He eyed you for a moment, then relented. "Did she happen to leave anything that was marked for me? Before the—the accident, she said there was something she needed to tell me."

Something she needed to tell him? You racked your brain, eyes drilling into the wood grain of the coffee table between you two. The will hadn't mentioned anyone else but you. And all of the letters or notes from Sena that were given to you were all for you; the attorney would have handled the rest and mailed them off to anyone else she'd written something for.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "No, I can't think of anything. You say you were expecting something?"

The resolve in his eyes steeled over, and that little bit of softness you'd seen before disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. You couldn't read him anymore. "Yes, I have her texts."

He fished out his phone from his pocket and you pursed your lips as he maneuvered to a screen of his and your sister's last messages to each other:

sena: i think i'm going back home soon, so i'll c u then changmin: okay that's fine changmin: wait ur still over there?? i thought u left already? sena: had to talk to someone abt the thing, but it was a dead end sena: just remind me that i have something to tell u changmin: what? sena: it'll be better if i said this in person

That was all Changmin let you see.

You leaned away from his phone, head reeling more from the fact that he knew she had been out of town and knew where she was and why she was there. Never mind the fact that apparently, Sena was holding onto important information for Changmin. You couldn't care less about that.

You supposed the texts were for him to prove to you he was telling you the truth. It wasn't like you weren't telling the truth either.

"Why was Sena out of town?" You asked him. "Did she ever go on any of those study abroad trips?"

Changmin paused, then something flickered in his eyes. "I think I showed you too much."

"I think you showed me too little."

"Yn, did she tell you anything about what she needed to tell me?"

You were going to push against him for your own agenda again, but the slight pressure in his tone made you think twice. There was something urgent in his words, his expression, his body language. You couldn't tell what it was, but something about this had to have been important.

Absentmindedly, your hand rubbed the area where the pendant sat on your chest beneath the collar of your shirt, and his eyes followed for a moment before flickering back up to your eyes. "No," you told him quietly. "She didn't tell me anything."

He must have believed you, because defeat shuddered across his face, and he said goodbye to leave. He didn't even take his coffee with him. Asshole.

You told yourself it would be months before you could bring yourself to go through Sena's things, but after this morning's run-in with Changmin (because it wasn't even a session; you could hardly call it anything but a run-in because it lasted maybe ten minutes), you were determined to unlock her door and do some digging. Clearly, she was hiding more than her money and jewelry(?) from you.

Changmin… he completely ignored your questions confronting him about Sena's whereabouts and her purpose for traveling. You were getting more and more suspicious as to what your sister had been up to lately. Changmin had to be in on it, too, then. He had to be.

Sena's door took up your entire vision as you stood before it with the key in your hand.

You weren't entirely sure what you were expecting when you opened it, but it was as if she had never left. Everything was where she left it—plum-purple covers tucked beneath the mattress, vintage national park postcards hanging from fairy lights by wooden clothespins, jackets layered over the back of her desk chair. There was an empty mug on her desk with the remnants of a red lip tint on the edge, and you knew you weren't going to remember to take it out to the sink later.

The small shelf-nightstand hybrid next to her bed was filled to the brim with books and notebooks and magazines. You settled gingerly upon the edge of her bed, palms pressing against the comforter.

The room still smelled like your sister.

You took the small bottle of perfume on the nightstand and spritzed a little onto your wrist. You pressed it to your nose, letting the scent make your senses woozy. It wouldn't bring her back; it didn't smell exactly the same when it was on your skin.

You set the bottle back onto the nightstand, then lowered yourself to your knees to pull all of the books off the top shelf. You stuck your head into the empty cupboard—you weren't really sure what you were looking for.

All of the titles here were the normal things you remembered seeing her read: assorted mythologies, books on the occult and supernatural, her textbooks for anthropology and archeology. There were about a dozen and a half National Geographic magazines that you flipped through within the next two hours, as well, all of which turned up nothing of curiosity.

None of the bound books were notebooks of any kind.

You crawled over to her desk—rifled through those. Nothing. They were all school related and completely, utterly ordinary.

Disappointment weighed you down into her desk chair as you hit another dead end.

Was there nothing she could give you?

No, she's dead, you thought to yourself. You'd never known Sena to be a secretive person, especially with you—in fact, you were the quieter of the pair, and she always managed to coax the right things out of you.

Sometimes you had felt like the older sister because you handled so many of the logistics and practical things, but when the world became too scary, you could always count on running to her to feel safe again…

Safe.

Sena, were you ever safe? You were beginning to think not so much.

"Do I need to file for a restraining order?"

It was getting ridiculous how many times you ran into Changmin in the past two weeks. It was outside the advising office, on your way to the store, in the hallway outside your finance lecture. And now, he loitered in the lobby of your apartment complex with a wired earbud in one ear and the other dangling freely.

He seemed to be unfazed by your remark as he peered over at you from beneath the brim of his cap. "What if I just live here?"

"But you don't," you huffed, coming to stop right in front of him. You had a feeling you would have definitely known if he moved into this building. "What do you want from me, Changmin? I'm not going to magically lead you to my sister's secret stash of whatever. I just want to get to class."

"Then go to class," he said simply. He gestured with the phone in his hand toward the door. "I'm not here for you."

You narrowed your eyes at him. Perhaps you were being a little silly, and this was just some weird trick your brain was playing on you to make you notice him more. "Answer me something."

"Only if you answer something for me."

"This isn't a negotiation."

"Worth a shot," he said with a sigh. "What shall I answer for you?"

"You and my sister weren't dating, were you?"

He must have choked on his own spit because he coughed, furiously thumping his chest. You would have laughed if this was any other circumstance, and if you and Changmin were friends (but you weren't). He shook his head at you. "No. Your sister wasn't interested in me like that and neither was I. We were strictly colleagues."

You cocked your head to the side. Colleagues… you let that marinate. "Okay, so did she have anyone she was seeing then? Just out of curiosity." A former lover you didn't know about would make sense, something like a Bonnie and Clyde situation maybe. Or perhaps you were chasing after ghosts to get a glimpse into the past.

"Someone I suspect, but I don't have their contact," he replied, mimicking your head tilt and narrowed eyes. "If you had her phone—"

"I don't."

"Ah, a shame then."

"Do you?"

"And why would I withhold such an important item from the next of kin?" He drawled.

Changmin suddenly jolted upright from the relaxed position he stood in. It was so abrupt, it gave your heart a start. "That's my cue."

You followed after him out the front doors. "What cue? Did you hear your microwave go off or something?"

You swore to God you saw his mouth curl up in amusement. But it might have been just your imagination. He yanked his other earbud out and lifted a hand in goodbye. "Something like that! See you around."

He disappeared around the corner before you could follow after him. Plus, you really did have a lecture to get to. (Wait, did he say that she was seeing someone—?)

You sighed, wondering if you should follow him… something in the back of your mind told you it would be safer not to.

#3—MONSTERS AMONG MEN.

YOU SWORE JI CHANGMIN HAD TO BE a psychic with the amount of times he predicted your whereabouts. Every time you saw him in your vicinity, you and he shared either a verbal sparring match or stared one another down. He seemed amused by it; you were growing increasingly concerned, even if it was all just coincidence.

(There was this one time, on a Wednesday this past week, where you were the one who appeared at the anthropology department to see one of Sena's old professors. Changmin was there, as it was his major's headquarters, and shot you a curious glance. The meeting was innocent and an accident. No, you definitely weren't stalking him. Absolutely not.)

(It was interesting to consider whether both of you thought the other would lead you to something of Sena's. You were certain he knew more than he let on, and perhaps he thought the same of you… Shit, maybe you should invest in a taser.)

Additionally, the weird sounds around your apartment had increased. Sometimes when you walked around in the evenings, the hair on the back of your neck and your arms stood at attention, as if you could feel the gaze of someone or… something watching you. However, every time you turned to look, the crazier you were convinced you'd become.

It didn't help that the necklace Sena left for you kept mimicking your heart beat when you weren't paying attention. If you willed it to repeat the steady beat in the light so you could observe it up close, it would cease.

It was as if distance from your skin or touch left it without a heart to echo.

You were half certain you were losing your mind. It had to be all this stress and emotion overwhelming you.

Saturday morning, you decided to pick yourself up and go see your sister. The funeral home had called you earlier this week to say that her headstone was complete, so this would also serve as a trip to ensure everything was engraved correctly before it was placed over her grave. You dressed yourself up in a dark top and comfortable jeans, something you might be able to sit in on the grass as you lingered in her presence, even if she was dead.

Ever since you went through her things, you hadn't ventured into her room again. You thought it might preserve the way it looked, smelled, felt… preserve something of her.

Once you'd gone to the funeral parlor and management center at Elysium Memorial Park to confirm the engraving, you took a brisk walk up the hill to where you remembered Sena's plot to be. The sun peered out between clouds this morning, giving the sky a dual-toned appearance, one half a dark gray, and the other a gossamer yellow.

You started down the hill, head ducked to watch for any graves or hills so you didn't trample over other people's bodies. A bundle of flowers from the grocery store sat cradled in the crook of your arm—a bundle of pink carnations ("I'll never forget you") and dark crimson roses (mourning). You didn't often pay attention to the meaning of flowers, but you thought if you weren't able to choke anything out today, then at least they could speak for you.

Just as you neared the grave between oaks, you lifted your head, your footsteps slowing at the person who stood over your sister's grave. "You have got to be shitting me."

"Isn't it a sin to curse over someone's grave?" Changmin asked as you stopped short of where he was. There was a single stem of sunflower (adoration) seated at his feet on the bundle of earth that was Sena's resting place. "Well, I wouldn't know. That's not my expertise."

"What are you doing here?"

He gave a loose gesture with a flourished hand. "Visiting a friend. Don't leave on my account. She's your sister."

It was as if he could read your mind. You didn't count on anyone being here when you saw her, but he had a right to visit her, too. The bitterness seeping into your bones would have to be squandered for today; the universe just needed to stop making the two of you bump into each other.

You ignored the quickening pitter-patter of your heart and the necklace, and trudged over the grass to where he was.

You gently placed your bundle of flowers next to his, then straightened to stand beside him. The two of you stared at the patch in the ground in silence.

A frown etched itself onto his face, along with a crease between his brows. He seemed almost angry—at what, you couldn't tell. Not you, you hoped.

Quietly, you lowered yourself to the grass to sit down and be closer to her.

I miss you, you voiced into your head, as if you could transmit these thoughts to the dead body in the ground. I'm so… it's too much, Sena. I can't do this. I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what Changmin wants from me. The apartment is cold. Why didn't you tell me you were home all this time?

For the moment, you let your vision blur with tears.

You covered your mouth with your palm to dam the emotion inside, especially with someone else right next to you, but dignity be so fucking damned. Your body trembled with the weight of everything and beyond—you were Atlas carrying the world upon his shoulders. Pressure mounted in your cranium from how hard and freely you sobbed, your fingers pressed to your face to support your head as your tears wet the earth beneath you.

A presence lowered itself to the ground beside you, and Changmin remained politely quiet. He breathed in deeply, but you heard the slight tremble of his breath when he exhaled.

Maybe you were crying for the both of you.

After what seemed like eons, you sniffled, pawing at your puffy and reddened eyes with the sleeves of your shirt. You hadn't brought along any tissues or anything, an oversight.

You gathered your wits about you and clambered to your feet, your knees knocking together like a baby deer. Changmin still had his eyes pinned to the ground.

"Whatever the Hell you want from me," you told him hoarsely, "I don't care. Just leave me alone."

You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. Without another word, you walked away to head back to the bus stop.

Your skin prickled when you returned home. The air was oddly… off, and a strange smell lingered in the air. It was subtle, only becoming apparent to you with deep, focused inhales. The identity of the smell eluded you and it wasn't something you were familiar with.

You kicked the front door shut behind you, and noticed that the window was ajar. Had you accidentally left that open before you left?

Strange.

You padded across the room to peer out at the street below. There sat the usual tree that occupied the space in front of your window, the one that you assumed (hoped) was the thing making all of the noises outside the past few weeks. (Because if it wasn't that, you didn't want to know what it really was.)

The thought occurred to you that you might have opened the window before you left to air out whatever smell had crept through the air vents. Yes, that made a whole lot of sense.

Settling with that explanation, you cranked the window closed slightly, only leaving a sliver so you could muffle as much of the sounds outside as possible. This part of town wasn't the noisiest, luckily, but when there were vehicles that drove by, they tended to be loud for no reason.

You sighed, settling down onto your couch with your bag. The whole rest of your day was open, and the only thing you had thought of was to go see Sena.

The feeling of eyes on you loitered on your skin like an invisible ant crawling over your body somewhere. You swiped at your neck, rubbed your arm… you couldn't identify it when you swung around to observe your own home.

This was your home, wasn't it? Why did it feel like you weren't alone in it?

You were going to go close the window—

A shadow appeared on the ledge of your window sill and you let out a scream.

The mass gnarled its teeth at the sound, pouncing at you with claws and fangs that glinted in the daylight.

You scrambled backward on the couch, toward the opposite end, your heart throwing itself up against your ribcage. "What the fuck?" You breathed, trying to figure out what in the world it was.

Bad idea. Oh, baaaad. Bad. Bad. Bad idea.

You shouldn't have stared so long; then you wouldn't have realized it had multiple rows of teeth, a face pale as a full moon, and two beady eyes narrowed into slits. Saliva dripped from its maw and down its chin as it crawled on its haunches and arms to you.

It made a guttural noise, then lunged.

You swore and fell over the arm of the couch, dragging along the lamp on the side table. You tried to move your right leg off the arm—it didn't budge. Oh god, it had its claws in your pant leg—

"Mine," it snarled, surprisingly sentient. "Master wills it so."

You kicked it in its face and managed to scramble away, clutching the lamp in front of your body as a weapon.

It ran after you, and your body leapt into instinct.

You nearly slipped as you fumbled to your feet and tipped the coffee table over the creature. "What the fuck are you—SHIT."

Wood splinters exploded as the creature smashed clear through one of the legs and went careening for you.

"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE," you begged, running for the kitchen and the block of knives in your sight.

Your knees hit the wood floor with a vengeance, and you had no time to mourn over bruised knees. You twisted around and just barely shoved the lamp between its jaws before it could enclose them around your neck—

Somebody pounded on your front door. "YN? YN!"

Familiar—that was all that went through your head. "HELP ME," you screeched, your hands growing slippery from the slobber. Desperation filled your veins and you gave a violent shove.

Your front door bursted open, the handle banging against the opposite wall and leaving a dent.

Changmin charged into the room with a dark look in his eyes, a swear on his tongue. "You're the little weasel who's been fucking with me."

The creature shifted his attention to Changmin. "Your Disgrace," it gave a mocking bow.

That seemed to be his ticker.

You couldn't comprehend what happened—only an exchange of blows, a blur of body mass—Changmin brawled with the creature on your floor and you dragged yourself behind the kitchen counter to hide. You reached for a knife from the knife block up above and pulled your knees to your chest, the sounds of snarling and wood breaking and bones cracking—then—complete silence.

You slapped a palm over your mouth, eyes going toward the ceiling to pray to anyone who could hear you.

This was when you died. The creature had killed Changmin and now it was coming back to finish what it started.

You held your breath with your eyes wide open. You strained your ears. The sound of a sigh met your ears, one that was oh-so familiar to you.

"Shit," came Changmin's voice. "Yn. Yn? Yn, where…?"

He rounded the counter, his hair sticking up in different directions and a large tear at the top of his shirt, but other than that, he seemed no worse for wear. He eyed the knife pointed outward at him, and he showed you his palms as if placating a rattlesnake. "Woah, hey, it's okay. It's gone now."

Your body trembled from head to toe with all of the pent up fear and adrenaline. You shook your head, your hand still clapped over your mouth to keep your screams or cries in.

Changmin lowered himself to your level slowly. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise, it's gone and you're okay now. Let's put the knife down."

You slowly, slowly brought your extended hand down, letting the blade point toward the ground and away from the man in front of you. "What—" you choked, "—what was—who are—"

His facial features arranged into something short of stress. "It's a long story…" He roughed a hand through his bangs. "That thing back there? Yn, that was a demon."

You blinked.

He exhaled sharply. "I'm a demon."

"Don't fuck with me."

"You think I'm fucking with you?"

Your free hand clutched at the pendant around your neck. "You—you don't look like that thing though."

He gave a nod. "Right, I don't. I'm… a different kind of demon." When you remained quiet, he prodded, "You're not going to fight back? You're not gonna tell me you're going crazy?"

"Oh, I know I'm going crazy," you nodded vigorously, wiping away the snot that dribbled down your nose inelegantly. He reached over the counter to grab the roll of paper towels and slide it over to you in an act of (rare) kindness. Your head made contact with the cabinet behind you. "Is the carcass lying on my living room floor, Changmin? Tell me it is not lying on my living room floor."

"It's not."

"Then where the fuck is it?"

He licked his lips, closing his eyes. "It escaped."

"Out the window?"

"No, through a portal—"

You wheezed, and you were sure you looked half mad to him. "Oh my god, I really am off my rocker." A portal. A portal! Of course it was a portal.

He pinned you with a look. "Yn. Yn, listen to me. You're not safe here."

"No shit. I almost died two minutes ago." You saw his unimpressed expression and forced an apology out of your mouth. "Sorry. Humor is a coping mechanism. You can't just tell me demons exist without me thinking we've both gone absolutely insane."

Changmin settled into a more comfortable position on the floor, gripping onto the edge of the counter behind his head. "Yeah, your sister reacted similarly when she found out."

Everything came to a screeching halt.

"What?"

He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Supernatural creatures exist. The ones that you read about in books and in myths and legends, and watch in silly movies and TV shows?" He gestured wide with both his arms. "They exist—we exist."

You could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears. You swallowed. "And she… she knew this?"

A nod. "Yes. We've all been walking among you this whole time."

"What does this have to do with Sena?" What did any of this have to do with your sister? Was this even worse than you imagined it was?

He pursed his lips, exposing the little mole beneath his bottom lip for a moment. "Sena and I were… business partners. We were in the bounty hunting business, essentially."

There were words coming out of his mouth, but it was too much. All of it hit your head and fell straight to the floor, and none of it truly sank into your sense of reality.

Sena was a supernatural bounty hunter? And she died while on a case. A personal one, he said—?

"—I was coming over to show you something when I felt my trap get triggered."

"Wait, wait, wait," you cut in. "Trap?"

"I've been hunting that demon for weeks now," he explained to you, but the words were coming out slowly like he was reluctant to let them go. "It's been… avoiding me, and I tracked it to your apartment and realized what, or who, it was after." His teeth ran over his bottom lip and his eyes narrowed on you. "You're wearing it, aren't you? The pendant?"

On instinct, your hand shot up to your sternum. "How the Hell—"

"That's what Sena and I were looking for." His sharp, feline gaze remained pinned on you as you slowly lifted the chain to take the pendant out. It glistened like a fat, red ruby in the daylight. "What did she tell you about it?"

"Absolutely nothing," you said plainly. You set the knife on the ground beside you and adjusted your sitting position with a shaky exhale. "Except that I shouldn't let anyone touch it before me, that I shouldn't take it off, and to not—trust anyone."

You stiffened when Changmin reached for something in his back pocket.

"Relax, this is what I wanted to show you." He held his hands up after retrieving a cream-colored envelope from his back pocket, majorly bent and crumpled in some portions, but intact for the most part. He slid the envelope across the kitchen floor to you, and you immediately recognized your sister's handwriting.

You gingerly picked it up off the ground and inspected it. It couldn't have been forged—the way she wrote her R's were too distinct. She was so weird about always writing capital R's even if it was supposed to be lowercase.

You opened the flap and tugged out the letter inside. As you made your way down the note, it came to you that this was his evidence. This was his evidence that Sena knew him personally and that, according to past-Sena, you could trust him.

Your fingers shook as you pushed the letter back into the fold, and you shoved the envelope back over to him. "Okay," you muttered. "What now?"

Something akin to relief washed over his face. "She didn't tell you anything about the pendant? Nothing?"

You shook your head, fondling the stone between your fingers. "No. I found it in the lockbox she left for me with cash and a small note."

"Lockbox?" He perked up. "Are you certain there wasn't anything else in there? Not a second stone or a second necklace? Nothing?"

Your eyebrows furrowed in thought, and you pressed your thumb and forefinger to your closed eyes when they began to sting from dehydration. "No. It was just those three things I mentioned earlier. Why?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," you said. "I am absolutely sure. You don't think I turned that thing upside down?"

Changmin stood up and began to pace around his side of the kitchen, his head buried in his two palms. "Oh fuck," you heard his muttered swear.

"What is it?"

He rubbed his hands down his face, and it reset him to that careful blankness from before. "Do you trust me?"

"No," came your automatic answer.

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Your sister was after something important before she died. She—she was supposed to update me about it when she got back, but she never did." He carded a hand through his hair again. "It could reveal to us more about what happened. Didn't she mention anything about how important this was?"

He wasn't wrong, unfortunately. Sena wrote it plainly in her final note to you about how important this necklace was, and keeping it with you. You supposed you could dash out any thought that she stole this from a bank or jewelry store… a mortal one, at least.

What the fuck was this thing made of?

You enclosed your fist around the stone. "So what are you saying?"

"We need to finish what she started." He considered something for a moment, then added, "And you're not safe here."

Something panged in your chest. "I'm not teaming up with you."

Changmin took a couple steps toward you and from this distance, there was an unmistakable ferocity in his gaze. "I would agree with you, but unfortunately, if I want answers and the pendant, then I'm stuck with you."

Your blood pressure spiked. "You're such an ass."

"Ass or not," he drawled, "you can stay here and risk that cretin coming back for you, or you can come with me, and we can figure out what the Hell happened to your sister."

Your bones, your joints—everything ached as you clambered to your feet. God, you were tired. A grave sort of determination trickled into your mind, though, at the thought of getting away from this. It didn't seem like there was much other choice anyway.

#4—SURVIVE THE NIGHT.

IT WAS LATE WHEN THE CAR pulled into the motel parking lot. Your ass was on fire from the long drive, and your mind hazy from sleep deprivation. Fear kept you awake for the entirety of the eight hour trek between home and nowhere. You would have worried about Changmin in the driver's seat, but considering you found out he was a supernatural being literally eight hours ago, your worries consoled themselves.

"This was the best out of the selection," he murmured, barely audibly, as he put the car in park. The glow from the motel lights was the only light for miles, and the red-violet from the neon sign washed over Changmin's sharp side profile like a grungy teen thriller show.

A yawn stretched out of you and you reached for your seatbelt. "Wasn't complaining."

He sent you a pointed look. It was a silent "Really?" You pointedly ignored it.

The two of you clambered out of the car and you massaged your back and butt with reprieve. Your hand reached for the red ruby settled beneath the fabric of your T-shirt, the warm stone solid and present between your fingers. Changmin slammed his side of the car closed as he slung his bag over his shoulder, and you were swift to follow his lead.

Your fingers drummed against the side of your pants just as the main office came into view. There was someone seated behind the front desk with her head buried in her phone and Candy Crush on the screen. You and Changmin walked up to the counter and her head flicked upward.

Her eyes darted between you two and something or other clicked in her head. "Room for two?" She droned, already clacking away on her computer screen.

"Yes please," you sighed. You knew there was no way you were getting around her assumptions.

She smacked the gum in the side of her cheek, twirling around in her chair to reach for a key on the wall behind her. "It'll be thirty bucks," she said, sliding the key across the counter, "and we don't have condoms."

You and Changmin both coughed, heat rushing to your face. "None needed," he muttered as he slid a twenty and ten dollar bill over to her.

You collected the key and checked for the room number. Sleep crept into the corners of your eyes again and they were starting to sting from dehydration.

Changmin eyed you from his peripheral vision and nodded his silent thanks to the girl. He swept an arm loosely around your shoulders to guide you back out to the night beyond the main office. The room you were assigned was on the second floor of a building just a little ways down the complex. It was outfitted with a single queen-sized bed and bathroom, and the lights fortunately worked well enough. You couldn't decide if it was a good thing that you were too tired to assess the cleanliness of this room, but you made a beeline for the bathroom.

"I'm taking a shower," you announced, already closing the door.

The last thing you heard was his grunt from the other side.

You dumped your backpack on the lid of the toilet then braced your forearms on the sink counter. The lights in here were a dull gray and made you look sickly in the mirror. Dark bags hung beneath your pinkened eyes—the receptionist probably thought you were drunk or high. Exhaustion hit you like a bus, your limbs sluggish and heavy.

So much had happened in the past 48 hours.

You ripped the shower curtain back and fiddled around with the shower until cold water spouted from the top.

Changmin was a demon. He was Hellspawn. You'd messed around with the idea of him being a pain in the ass before, but you never expected his demon-ness to be true.

When the water warmed as much as it could, you stepped beneath its drizzle. The ruby pendant from your sister sat on your sternum, safe and warm, and you watched it pulse with a glowing scarlet beneath the stream of water.

Your sister.

A few weeks ago, you watched her body lowered into a ditch in the ground. A little before that, you were told her death had been an accident. Now, you were on the run.

From who or what? You weren't completely sure. That was what Changmin was here for. Well, technically he was here for the necklace your sister left with you, but after what happened at your apartment that caused the two of you to go on the run, here you and the necklace were. Plus, the note your sister left explicitly instructed that the necklace be kept with you—on you. (You still weren't too certain of anything.)

When your fingers began to prune, you reluctantly stepped out of the shower to slip on a new set of clothes from your backpack. You went through the motions of getting ready to sleep, too, mind fuzzy and unable to make sense of anything.

You wrestled down a sigh and desire to cry. You were tired, for fuck's sake, you were so tired.

But when you opened the bathroom door, flicking the light off, you paused. The room was dark.

Your breath hitched in your throat and the hair on the back of your neck stood at attention. Heart pounding, you took a step into the main room.

"Chang—" A palm closed around your mouth, another cupping the back of your head.

Panicpanicpanic—

A warm breath by your ear. "Calm down. It's just me." Changmin.

Fucking Hell.

You found his eyes as yours grew more accustomed to the dark. His head twisted over his shoulder to the window by the door where you could see silhouettes walking past, silent and stalking.

"Someone's here," he exhaled as he slowly removed his hand from over your mouth. His dark bangs hung in his eyes, his mouth set in a firm line. "They can sense the pendant, I think."

Your heart thundered against your ribcage—ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom—

Changmin's head whipped back toward you and he fished something out of his pocket. He reached for your hand, closing your fingers around something cold and metal. "Slowly put your backpack down and barricade yourself in the closet over there," he instructed quietly, finger pointing in the direction of the sliding doors just to your left. "If it comes to it, use the knife, Yn."

You bit your tongue to keep your breathing as steady as possible. Your hands shook around the switchblade he'd passed to you, and under his sharp eyes, you carefully lowered your bag to the ground without making as much noise as you could. Then, with his go-ahead, you crept as quietly as possible toward the closet.

Just as you reached for the slot in the door, all Hell broke loose.

The window shattered open, the door kicked off its hinges. Your entire body tensed as you dropped to the floor behind the bed, clutching the knife in front of you.

Changmin swore, nice and loud.

Shadows pummeled him to the ground until he was tangled in darkness, like nightmares brought to life. You saw a flash of claws in your view, your scream caught in your throat.

"You."

A blur of shadow whisked across your vision and your eyes went wide.

The creature crawled over the bed and pounced toward you—you rolled away from him, blade held out in front of your body. Oh, there was an awful wave of déjà vu coming over you.

"You are a difficult being to find, pet," the creature hissed. You were beginning to make out its features now—dagger-like eyes, claws that could easily rip flesh apart like cloth, and a maw of knives for teeth. Shit straight out of nightmares.

It cocked its head at you, crouching on the floor a few feet away. Why hadn't it attacked you yet?

"Curious," its scratchy voice croaked. "The master will be pleased when the asset is brought home to her."

The asset? It must have meant the necklace.

You heard a snarl from your right, and in horror, noted the thick, dark liquid splattered all over Changmin's clothes and body. When he snarled at the demons holding him down, you spotted the gleam of fangs.

"What do you want from me?" Your voice trembled, returning back to your main problem. The necklace sat warm and present, the pulses matching your racing heartbeat.

The creature released a sound like grating metal, something akin to a laugh. "Your guardian is more dangerous than he appears," he said instead while tilting its head to the side. "Clever being, that one. Master will be pleased when we bring his rotted corpse home."

You didn't anticipate how quickly it would move. You screamed as the creature dove for you and you swung out of the way. Its claws dug into the meat of your thigh, clinging to the flesh there with all of its might.

Fear struck painfully through your chest and you desperately twisted around to stab the blade into the side of the creature's neck.

It screeched. You drew the knife out to impale it in the back area, messily splattering an arc of its black blood everywhere.

You sucked in a sob as you scrambled backward. Its body dragged along the ground from its claws still sunken into your leg. The body was limp, but your nose wrinkled from the acrid, hot smell reeking from the corpse. It smelled burnt.

You peered at the blade in your fist with new eyes. The silver glowed gold in the darkened room; you shouldn't have expected anything less. Why did you think a mortal weapon could defend you from demonic creatures?

"YN!"

Too late.

Claws sunk into the sides of your throat and trapped your voice there. You thrashed around; panic stabbed your chest. Pathetically, desperately, you reached your arm back to try and drill the blade of your knife into the creature behind you.

Hot blood squelched down your throat—you were losing feeling there. Numb numb numb—it hurt, oh fuck, you were going to die—

All at once, the pressure subsided.

Breath could only flood into your lungs as quickly as blood spilled from your throat. You were choking, eyes wide up at the ceiling.

This was it, this was it. Maybe you'd see your sister in Hell.

A face appeared above you, sweaty but familiar. Your blurry vision couldn't make out the emotions on his face, but you could hear him… boy, could you hear him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, rustling around and adjusting his position above your body.

His rough palms cupped your face. You could hear your heartbeat slowing in your ears. Ba-boom… ba-boom… ba… boom.

"Stay with me," he panted. His left hand pressed against that side of your neck to staunch the blood flow. He sucked in a breath and he ducked out of your view.

You felt a different wet sensation over your open wound. His tongue was rough, yet soothing as he lapped and sucked on the gouge in your throat. Feeling sparked in that area; you could feel your skin physically stitching itself together. If you could squirm, you would have.

He was swift to switch to your other side and copy those actions there. He groaned low against your skin, one hand cupping the side of your head to hold you in place.

Oxygen rushed through your lungs and you gasped. You tore your neck away from his mouth to dry retch. Blood dripped from the side of your lips to the dusty carpet. You had been asphyxiating on your own life force.

You flopped back onto your back, tears rolling down your cheeks as you gestured wildly at the steaming demon carcass still attached to your thigh. "Ple-please," you whimpered. "Please, get it off."

Changmin crawled onto his arms, sliding down toward your leg. "Yeah, sweetheart. I got it."

He looked up at you as he dug his fingers into the creature's skull, ready to pry the thing's claws from you. Something dark was smudged over his face—his nose, cheeks, across his eye. "It's gonna hurt," he warned, voice hoarse.

You moved your head in a microscopic nod.

Tears pricked at your vision, and your leg screamed. Blood filled your mouth even more from the force you used to clamp down on your tongue. Changmin was swift, but gentle as he removed each claw from your thigh, then tossed the body somewhere behind him. He lowered his face to your leg to carefully lap at your wounds like he'd done before.

When he was done, he flopped onto the floor with you, his sigh filling the awful silence.

You could feel everything. It was pulsing all over your body. Your skin, threading together, tingled and ached and throbbed. Your cheeks were damp with tear tracks and your fingers finally loosened their grip on the switchblade. Your mouth was coated in the metallic iron taste of blood.

The only familiar feeling was the pendant on your sternum. The bane of your existence.

"So you have magic spit?" You croaked, your voice scratchy from your sore and bruised throat.

You heard his huff, the closest thing you'd ever heard to a laugh from him. "It's regenerative," he exhaled deeply.

You snorted, then winced when it hurt.

If you could look up, you would've seen the corner of his lips twitch.

"Are you sure you're not a vampire?"

You heard a soft shuffling sound as he clambered upright to lean against the wall. His head thumped against it, eyes fluttered closed. "I don't drink blood, sweetheart."

"I didn't say you drank it."

You grimaced as you struggled to swallow. Reality was swooping in on you like a vulture above a carcass. Doom swirled in your stomach—you almost died just now. You choked on a sob, and you reached up to your face to brush away your tears.

Oh god, everything hurt.

"I want to go home," you whispered. It wasn't even to Changmin, just to whoever could hear you. Homehomehome, but where was home? They could find you anywhere.

A beat passed.

"I'm sorry." Changmin's head hung, either out of exhaustion or genuine regret. "I promised your sister I wouldn't get you involved."

You still couldn't move your head much, so you kept your gaze on the speckled ceiling. "What?"

"I have… had sisters."

You didn't hide your surprise. You didn't think you would ever get anything personal out of this guy, let alone the fact he had family. But his confession planted a seed of sympathy in you… maybe he was human before, or maybe he wasn't at all, but he had family. That had to count for something.

He released another haggard sigh. "So that was one of the few things we could agree on—keeping you out of this unless necessary."

Necessary. You should have never put on the necklace, should have never touched the cursed thing. Now, you were literally chained to it and its fate.

He went quiet again and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You thought he was going to say something else, but instead, he rose to his feet. Taking slow, careful steps, he made his way over to your body.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," he murmured as he tucked his hands under your armpits to haul you upright.

You cursed under your breath at the ache and the blood rushing to your head. Your left leg was pretty much useless, and he had to cup the nape of your neck to his shoulder so you could lean on him.

"Can you walk?" He asked, his breath by your ear again.

You shook your head, pressing your mouth against the muscle of his shoulder. He smelled like demon blood, and you shifted to lean your cheek on him instead, holding in a gag at the wretched stench.

"Okay. Hold on a second."

He helped you sit down on the ledge of the bed, before going around the room to collect things. He plucked up your backpack from the floor, then his own bag, hoisting them both over his shoulders before returning to you. From your vantage, you could see all the limp demon corpses lying on the ground, unmoving. You wrestled down the bile creeping up your throat and looked away.

Changmin scooped you up in his arms with a grunt, and you looped yours around his upper body, tucking yourself into him. "We have to get out of here before someone comes to check this shit out," he said to you as he exited the room.

You gave a nod. "Aren't you tired? Hurt?" You asked, guilt and fear twisting something horrid in your chest.

"Don't worry about me."

"How could I not?"

His lips twitched. "Oh, so you care about me now?"

You closed your eyes against his shoulder. "Don't be an asshole."

"Sure, sweetheart." He made it to the car and instructed you to reach around his back to get the car key hanging from his bag strap. Changmin managed to get the car door open and deposited you in your seat. Your body molded into the material, exhaustion settling once more into your bones and joints.

In a blink, the two of you were back on the road.

Changmin carded a hand through his damp hair as he pulled out onto the barren street. You rolled your head to the side, eyes drinking him in. There were scratches over his exposed skin, barely there, but still present as if they had healed over already. His clothes were splotched and stained, as well as ripped in other places. And of course, there was the blood smeared all over his face, his neck. The bastard didn't even look fazed.

Right, demon. What did that even entail?

Your eyelids were beginning to droop, yanked down by the force of gravity and the human necessity to sleep. You didn't want to sleep though; you didn't want to be attacked a third time. Though most of the adrenaline had dissipated, your shoulders were still tense, your senses alert and unable to relax just yet.

Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "You should sleep."

You moved your head. "Can't," you rasped.

He reached over then, his palm warm against your head, as he gently brushed his thumb over your eyelids to coax them closed. "You're safe with me, Yn," he promised. You were reluctant to believe him, but after what just happened, at least you knew he could take care of himself and you.

Sleep was already coaxing you into its jaws to devour you, and the pendant under your shirt pulsed to a steady beat to encourage your descent. "Morning will come soon."

All you could do now was trust him.

#5—THE ANGEL BLADE.

THE DINER OFF THE INTERSTATE was like the ones from the movies: red, vinyl seats that squelched when you scooted over them; blind fluorescent lights that flickered every time a fly died against them; people minding their own business as they hunched over grainy coffee and burgers that looked a little too good to be true. You sat across from Changmin, hands laced over the white table surface while he had his arms braided over his chest.

Another eight hours had passed since the motel. You'd found a rest stop to clean up and change clothes on the way, but when you could no longer deny your need for food, Changmin made the executive decision to feed the monster that was your stomach. Executive decision meant he was driving you somewhere to eat something so you wouldn't pass out from stubborn, self-induced hunger.

You're not gonna die if you want fries and chicken tenders, Yn, he'd said with a roll of his eyes.

Easy for him to say. He wasn't the target of every other supernatural being within a fifty mile radius. Perhaps by association, but still.

It was fascinating what a few hours of rest and magical demon saliva could do to help the human body. All of your wounds had pretty much closed up—albeit a tad sore, but nothing as awful as the pain you were in when being clawed in the moment. It was even more fascinating how alive Changmin looked despite literally not being alive. And the fact he hadn't slept a wink within the past day at least.

You, on the other hand, looked like a dumpster fire. Your hair was a bird's nest, eye bags more expensive than Louis Vuitton. Your stomach gave another whining growl; you'd ordered not five minutes ago with a middle-aged woman in too-bright red lipstick and a blue collared dress uniform.

"Are you sure you're not like, a vampire?"

His face dropped into a deadpan you'd seen before. "Oh my God."

"You can say His name?"

Your lips curled into a self-indulgent smile at the way he rolled his eyes so hard, he could probably see his brain back there. (If he had one.) "Sorry."

"You're not sorry," he said, eyebrow arching. "Do you have any real questions?"

Your hands shifted to your lap as your gaze moved to the window next to you. The sky was an ugly, sickly shade of gray-green. It reminded you of the lighting from the first Twilight movie, and you gagged at the thought. The bright red and neon of the diner clashed horridly with the sky, too. All of it was a little disconcerting.

Back in the car, when Changmin was first introducing you to the real world, he'd given you the short version of the supernatural who lived amongst oblivious humans. He hadn't gotten down to the nitty-gritty, just the shit he needed you to know so he could justify hauling you across the state, and to understand all the supernatural creatures after the little pendant resting beneath your shirt collar.

Two mugs of coffee were set onto your table, the dark liquid sloshing over the sides to stain the white below it.

You reached for your mug first, gently cooling it down with a breath. When you took a sip, gingerly, you grimaced. You somehow managed to wrestle the liquid down, but the searing bitterness was enough to make you push the cup away and reach for the sugar packets at the end of the table.

Changmin watched you in amusement, tongue poking the inside of his mouth.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you ripped a Stevia packet open. "What're you laughing at?"

"M'not laughing," he shrugged. He picked up his cup of coffee, clinked it against yours for good measure, then chugged the cup of shit in one sitting.

You watched in ill-concealed disgust, horror, and… maybe you were a little impressed.

When he set the drained cup on the table, he wiped his smug mouth with a napkin from the aluminum dispenser.

It was your turn to deadpan. "Show off," you muttered, stirring your artificial sweetener into the dark brown brew.

He shrugged again. "What? Like it's hard?"

"Oh my god, you can be funny."

Your chicken tenders arrived. Steam wafted from them and you closed your eyes to inhale the beautiful smell. Happiness on a plate, you liked to think.

Changmin thanked the waitress who had also delivered him a plate of blueberry pancakes. He eyed you quietly as you inhaled the food on your plate, despite the dull throbbing in your throat.

You caught his gaze, stopping mid-tender. "Want some?" You asked after swallowing the bite, gesturing to your fries.

He shook his head and began buttering up his hotcakes. "Nah. Have at it."

The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as you ate your separate meals. Changmin had told you before that demons didn't need all the typical things humans needed to "survive" or "live." Technically, since he was undead, there were only a handful of ways he could die. Eating and sleeping were necessary for human life, but they were more so preferences for him. If he wanted to eat, he could eat. If he wanted to close his eyes and dream, he could try.

The thought had you waving a fry at him. "The switchblade," you began, drawing his attention and pancake-stuffed cheeks, "what was it? It definitely wasn't something human-made."

Changmin swallowed his bite. "It was an angel blade."

"You're kidding," you drawled in disbelief.

He challenged your stare. "Believe it or not, it was. Forged up there." He lifted the prongs of his fork up toward the ceiling, shaking his bangs out of his eyes.

Your jaw dropped. "So the Big Man Upstairs does exist?"

"I mean, I don't really know. I've never met him if he does. I just know the angels are ruled by the Seraphim," he told you. "Lots of hierarchical bullshit I didn't care to pay attention to."

He impaled another piece of pancake. "Angel blades are one of the few things that can kill a creature like that."

"A demon?" You asked.

"Yes. Lower level demons are easier to kill, especially with a blade like the one I gave you." He shoved the bite into his cheek to continue, "That's why I was able to take on multiple at once."

You made a noise of indignation. "So you're telling me you're a higher level demon?"

His shoulders fell in a half-hearted shrug.

"Helpful," you muttered as you washed your meal down with bittersweet coffee. You paused for a moment, cleaning your fingers off with a napkin. "The… the licking thing."

Changmin's eyes could not meet yours. "Mhm."

"Do you… do you do that often?"

"No," he said curtly. "That party trick only works on humans and I don't really enjoy the taste of blood."

You pursed your lips at his rather clipped response. "Oh." You recalled the sound he'd made as he cleaned your blood up with his tongue at the motel… maybe it was something out of disgust. You suddenly felt out of place, like you had made his shoulders tense up and the air crackle. You racked your brain. "I—thanks, by the way."

With a cough, he murmured, "Welcome. Couldn't have you dying on me."

You nursed your coffee cup, reaching up to absentmindedly fondle the pendant under your shirt. "Yeah."

"Have you ever met an angel?"

The car was quiet as Changmin peered over his shoulder to switch lanes, the blinker tick-tocking away until it was turned off. "Yeah."

You stared out the front windshield to count the white colored cars on the highway amongst you. "What're they like?"

"They're like every other species," he said, unenthused. "Some are more asshole-ish than others. You'll find good ones and bad ones." A sigh. "The ones I've met have largely been the latter though."

"Oh." You weren't sure if you were disappointed by that answer.

The diner had been less than half an hour ago and you were back on the road again. Yours and Changmin's ETA to your sister's safehouse was supposedly another five or so hours. You couldn't believe she owned safehouses. For fuck's sake, she lived with you for majority of the time before she went to study abroad… she probably wasn't even abroad all those times, you realized anxiously.

It was like he could sense your change in mood from bored curiosity to tense overthinking. He dug around in the pocket of his pants and handed you the pommel of the switchblade from the motel. Angel blade, he'd called it.

You glanced at him in question, but he only pushed it into your palms.

"Get comfortable with it," he said. "It's a decent size as far as angel blades goes, since those fuckers don't really like to give them up. It's good for self defense."

The blade looked like something one could buy at a gift shop, slim with some heft, painted a shiny white color. There was no logo on it, but if you looked at it from the right angle, it shimmered. You unlocked it and let the blade whip out of the slot. The blade was shaped like any other box cutter you've seen before, but the underside had a serrated edge for extra ease in slicing through tougher materials. Your finger ghosted over the glowing metal, silver warming to a yellow-orange, but only if you didn't blink in the daylight.

You killed a demon with this. The blade burned the creature.

"How'd you get this if they don't like giving these up?" You asked as you figured out how to put the blade back into its sheath.

His fingers drummed against the wheel. "Won it in a poker game," he said.

Your eyebrows lifted. "Seriously?"

You swore there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Seriously."

With nothing better to do, you flicked the blade in and out, in and out. You'd only ever really held blades in the kitchen and when opening packages. "Do you have a name for it?"

"A name?"

"Yeah," you said, shifting slightly in your seat as an ache crept into your spinal cord, "y'know like the fantasy books where they name their blades." You inspected the switchblade again, rotating it in your hands. "Looks like a Clyde."

Changmin let out a huff from his nose. "Clyde?"

"What? Got any better ideas?"

"How about we don't name dangerous utilities for murder," he drawled.

"I can't believe you didn't just say 'weapons.'" When he didn't answer you, you made an indignant little noise you hoped annoyed him and admired the angel blade in your hand in a new light. Clyde. Hi, Clyde. You're pretty.

"Don't tell me you're communicating with it," he said to you.

You ran your finger over the flat side again with a fond smile—just to annoy him. "It doesn't give me lip."

A sigh. He tended to do that a lot. "How's your neck?"

Your hand lifted to your throat and massaged it lightly. "It's doing alright. Does it still look bruised?"

You tilted your neck so he could take a good look at it. He eyed the span of flesh there, his dark irises taking on a strange tint. The corner of his mouth curled downward as he turned his focus back to the road. "Yeah."

"It doesn't hurt as bad anymore, if that's any better."

"I guess," he grumbled. "Humans are so fragile."

"Hey man," you huffed, "is it my fault that I don't have magic spit or my skin doesn't heal fast—"

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's not magic spit. That's just how human biology reacts to demon saliva." Changmin tapped the back of his hand on the steering wheel as a vague gesture.

You shifted in your seat to look at him and so that you could take pressure off one side of your back. "I have a question. Why does demon saliva have healing properties when usually lore says that you guys are opposite in nature? Actually, that kind of sounds prejudicial," you thought aloud.

"It is prejudicial," he replied. "Well, mostly. It depends on the demon, but we're just like any other species. It's just that most pop culture depicts us as evil. Demons and vampires are derivations of each other in that—"

"So you are a vampire!"

He didn't even try to counter you this time. "Both species have saliva that can heal wounds, not large wounds, but you can probably imagine that vampires use it to seal puncture marks post-meal."

That made sense to you. "But why do demons need it?"

"Human blood…" he trailed off for a moment as he narrowly missed a car zooming past, his glaring eyes trailing after them, "...is like our saliva. It regenerates us. It's kind of like an energy drink, so it's not a necessity, but more so like a luxury or privilege."

You swallowed and you could've sworn you heard a soft huff from his mouth like a laugh. The thought of your blood being like an energy drink for him—and he'd literally licked your wounds clean at the motel that night. Was that how he was able to heal so quickly? It was a marvel he hadn't drunk you dry. But then again, he'd also said blood wasn't his taste…?

"Are you sure you don't like human blood?" You asked, sounding like a broken record, but more apprehensively this time.

"Sweetheart, you really think you'd still be here if I did?"

Touché.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Changmin stiffen. His hands tightened the slightest amount around the steering wheel, his eyes darting from the front windshield to the rearview mirror.

"What?" You asked, taking a look through the side mirror on your side. "What's wrong?"

Changmin's face washed over in a careful blankness. "We're being followed."

Your whole body tensed and you had to physically restrain yourself from twisting around in your seat. "What?"

"Hey, stay calm." He flicked his turn signal on casually as he exited off the freeway.

"Why are you telling them where we're going?!" He was literally signaling to whoever was following you exactly your next move.

"Just because we're on the run, doesn't mean we shouldn't follow basic driving safety."

You sent him a very emboldened stink eye. "Out of all the times, you choose now to have a sense of humor and to be an upstanding citizen?" Where was this during the entire road trip thus far?

Changmin made no other comments as he turned right onto the street leading further away from the freeway. You sat quietly for a moment, monitoring the cars behind you from your side mirror. Your knee started bouncing as you took note of the white sedan following behind, not tailgating, but its intentions were clear enough where even you could pick it out.

"What're we gonna do?" You murmured.

Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "We're gonna be fine. We just have to lose them."

"No shit."

"And you say I give you lip?"

Without any forewarning, Changmin jerked the car to the left, practically zooming across the intersection to catch the yellow light. Your whole body sailed across the center console, and before you could give him a piece of your mind, he was sending you crashing into your doorway from another sharp turn. You glared daggers at him, but turned to peer out your window.

The white car was still following after you. They must have run the red light then.

Changmin's sharp eyes sliced across the rearview mirror, and his foot lowered on the gas pedal like a challenge. His eyes whipped back and forth for somewhere he could go next, brain working double the speed. "Hold onto something, sweetheart."

"I don't think that would—HELPPP!" You sputtered and yanked on the handle above the door, hugging yourself to that side of the car.

You could hear the tires of Changmin's car burn rubber and squeal as he zigzagged through streets. You were pretty sure half of this was residential, you thought as the landscape blurred past.

"Do you even know where—" You swore as your body flailed around from another one of his god awful swerves, "—we are?"

He shook his head and floored the gas. "Nope."

Great.

It was about fifteen minutes of this supposed drag racing before his driving finally began to even out. You were seconds from hurling up diner food when you realized…

"Where the fuck did the trees come from?" You asked, lowering your tense form from the door handle.

You pressed your nose against the window to gawk up at the towering trees on your side of the vehicle, all dark green and beautiful. A light fog clung to some of the leaves, making the sunlight streaming through them look like golden strands of gossamer. The road you drove on held to the side of the mountain, but from what you could tell, Changmin had officially lost the white sedan.

Changmin visibly relaxed. "You might wanna pull up a GPS."

You reached over to your phone in the cupholder. But you pretty much tossed it right back. "No bars. Where did you take us?" You didn't even realize there was so much forest in this area. How come you hadn't seen it from the highway?

He gave a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. "Shit."

The car sunk into silence. Changmin could do nothing else but follow the road until you hit civilization or some kind of sign as to where you two were. You hadn't been in this part of the state before, so it wasn't like you could point out any landmarks. But as you both continued along, you settled into a sort of calm—the trees here were beautiful, untouched by man. Even from inside the car, you could feel the serenity.

Your finger pressed down on the button on your door to lower the window. You stuck your head out, hair flowing behind you. With a great inhale, your mouth broke into a smile. It smelled just as gorgeous as it looked. Fresh and clean and—

"You've got to be shitting me."

You pulled yourself back into the car and raised the window back up. "What?"

Changmin's mouth was set in a firm line, a dimple pressing deep into his cheek. "Wolves."

Your brows knitted together. "Huh?"

"We're in wolf shifter territory."

Just as he said this to you, the car rounded the side of the bend and revealed a large green sign that read: WELCOME TO MOONSTONE CREAK! Population 276.

The sign following it did not make you feel any better: CAMPERS! BEWARE OF WOLVES.

#6—BEWARE OF WOLVES.

AT THE FIRST SIGN OF WOLVES, you sunk low in your seat. You'd made eye contact with one of the furry creatures hidden in the brush, their sharp predator eyes narrowing at the sight of a foreign entity in their woods.

"By wolf shifters," you said quietly, holding onto Clyde in your lap, "you mean like… werewolves?"

Changmin's eyes stayed on the road ahead, but every once in a while, you would catch him scanning the forest, too. "Those aren't the same things. Werewolves are the things you read about in lore, half-man and half-wolf. Wolf shifters can change completely from man to wolf and vice versa."

"Oh." Well, that cleared some things up. "I'm guessing they don't take kindly to trespassers?"

He bit his lip. "I mean, it depends on the pack. If my hunch is right about where we are though, we shouldn't have to worry."

You gulped. "And if you aren't?"

"Well, I told you to get used to that angel blade, right?"

The trek further into the forest and mountains continued. The scenery around you was still as stunning as it was before, and you thought to yourself how dangerous a beautiful thing could be. Every time you peeked out of the car window, you saw a flash of something in the woods beyond the road. There had to be a reason why they hadn't attacked the car yet, right? If this was a pack of wolves who didn't like trespassers, then why were you and Changmin still alive?

Maybe they wanted you in a place where there was no chance of outsiders hearing you scream…

Your intrusive thoughts were getting to you.

There was a dead end, a near broken road sign and fence directing all passers-by that this was the end. Changmin was forced to take the off-road path, beaten into the dirt as it wound through the forest. If you didn't have signal up on the main road, you definitely would not have any here.

It was a few more minutes of traveling down the path that two wolves appeared before the car. Changmin brought the vehicle to a slow halt. The wolves were relatively large, spanning about six feet and about as tall as the bottom rim of the car door window. One of the wolves had black hair like a raven, and the other had hair like a field of grain.

Your heart stuttered in your chest as the wolves stared right at you. "Changmin…?"

He met their staring contest with little intimidation. "It's… it's fine. I think they recognize me."

After a moment, the two wolves broke their strange staring contest and trotted off to the side of the road. They were back so quickly, you almost didn't realize what had happened. Like magic, they had transformed into two toned young men, both nicely built with their lean upper body on display. They must have had a strategic stash of shorts hidden behind a tree for after they shifted to their human forms. One had cropped black hair, the other blond. Well, at least that made sense.

Changmin slumped in his chair, relieved. The corners of his mouth curled upward in an almost-smile, as the two wolf shifters came over to greet him at his window.

The brunette bent his head down to the window with a broad smile, the kind that made your stomach fill with butterflies. (Not to mention the eyeful of abs you and Changmin were getting…) He leaned his arms over the top of the car window, eyes flickering from the demon to you. "Long time no see, Changmin. Who's your friend?"

"That's Yn," your demon guardian said, clasping one of the man's hands in greeting. He reached for the second wolf shifter. "Haknyeon, nice to see you, too."

"Good to see you, Changmin" said the blond.

Oh, so he knew them.

Changmin gestured to the two men. "Yn, this is Kevin and Haknyeon. They're with the pack."

"Not that we're unhappy to see you," Kevin drawled, "but how did you find us?"

Okay, wait. If Changmin knew them, then why wouldn't he know the location of their pack? You sat quiet, waiting for someone to explain it to you… or just explain everything to you.

"Someone was following us and I lost them," Changmin told them, "but I managed to get us lost, too. Coincidence that we ended up here. I'm glad it's you guys and not another pack."

Kevin's eyebrows flew up. "Yeah, for sure. Well—" he turned his head up toward the treetops and scanned the skies. They were beginning to bruise like your skin as the sun sank somewhere amongst the trees and into the horizon. You hadn't even realized how dark it was starting to get. "—sun's already pretty low right now. Why don't you guys shack up with us tonight and then we'll help you out in the morning?"

"That would be great actually." Wow, really? You kept your surprise at bay. "Lead the way."

With no further discussion needed, Kevin and Haknyeon disappeared behind the same large tree trunk from before, then re-emerged as the wolves from before. Kevin, the one with black colored fur, pointed with his snout in the direction the path would take you. The two wolves began to trot down the path, and Changmin waited for them to get somewhat ahead before he flicked his headlights on and followed.

It was a curious act of consideration, you thought.

You watched as the wolves began to pick up speed, your eyes flickering to the speedometer. "So…" you drawled, "what the fuck just happened?"

A sharp huff, his version of a laugh. "They're old friends," he said.

"How'd you not know this was where their pack was if they're old friends?"

"I met them out of the pack," he explained. "It was somewhere in the New England area, and we just happened to be hunting the same thing."

Hunting? Oh, bounty hunter. Right. "And the—the shifting thing."

"What about it?"

You made a face of frustration. He always made you pull teeth when you wanted background information. "Everything."

He glanced at you. "I think it'd be better if one of them explained it to you. Better to have one of their own say it right than risk me getting something wrong."

That was, unfortunately, a very fair answer.

Instead of pushing on the wolf topic, you had more questions that he could answer. "So what now? Are we just gonna stay the night? Is it safe?" What if that white car found a way in here? Neither of you could see who the driver was, and so how could either of you be sure they weren't trying to perhaps get you both here? And if they also had the means to come in here without being marked as trespassers?

"It's safe," he said with such confidence that you arched your brows. He saw your expression, making a soft turn along the road as the wolves had, the pads of his fingers lifting off the steering wheel for a second in gesture. "I know what you're probably thinking, but it's safer than sleeping out in a motel off the highway, alright? Packs usually don't drive cars, and they have maybe one or two for convenience sake. They can smell trespassers from miles away, and they usually have people on watch all the time, which is how they found us so quickly."

You supposed that made sense. The forest here seemed denser, and with the quickly fading light, it made it all the more unnavigable. If you were to try to run… good fucking luck.

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. As the car rounded the bend, yours and Changmin's faces illuminated with the glow of light.

The town was laid out flat before you, not over a ridge, not over a mountain, but a path that led into a central meeting place with wooden buildings all around it. The lights were all from candle-lit lanterns rather than the LEDs and fluorescents of the human world. There were a mixture of both wolves and people milling about, an air of warm cheeriness that you could feel even from the car. You felt a fuzziness manifest in your chest at the sight.

Kevin and Haknyeon directed Changmin toward a back road to the right behind a row of buildings. It was most likely to avoid getting in the way of the pack members, you guessed. You kept silent as you averted your eyes from the void-like darkness of the forest beyond to your right.

Up ahead, you saw the two wolves trot into a small paved area with one other car parked along the walkway. It seemed to be like a makeshift alleyway of sorts between two blocks of buildings. With some maneuvering, Changmin managed to parallel park into the space that was just big enough for his vehicle.

When he parked, he gestures for you to follow his lead and get out of the car. "You should be safe to come out with me. We'll probably meet the pack alpha and get everything settled—" His head tilted to the side, "—hopefully."

Your eyes shuttered. "Hopefully?" You echoed. Pack alpha? What the fuck did that entail? From what you remember in the books and shows, you thought to yourself as you clambered out of the car and stretched your sore limbs, wolf packs had an alpha that would lead everyone. You weren't sure if you would have to go through some kind of cult initiation or something to be granted permission to stay the night.

The angel blade sat tucked into the pocket of your pants along with your phone, and you slammed your car door shut. From here, you could peer down the alley and see out into the glowing atmosphere of the town center. It sounded like fun, actually—all of the chatter and laughter. You hadn't been anywhere so lively-sounding in awhile.

"Yn right?"

You startled a little, whirling around to find the brunette—Kevin was his name—smiling at you sheepishly. He was back in human form with a pair of shorts and a plain white T-shirt on. "Sorry I snuck up on you," he said.

"Oh, it's totally fine!" You laughed bashfully, smoothing a hand down your hair. "And yes, I'm Yn. You're Kevin, right?"

Man, he was so much prettier up close…

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Changmin says this is all pretty new to you." He gestured loosely to the world around him, an all encompassing notion to the entire world you had just unearthed beneath your nose.

Your eyes darted behind Kevin where Changmin and Haknyeon were gathered on the other side of the car, pulling yours and Changmin's bags out the backseat. Changmin caught your eyes, lifted his eyebrows, then returned to his conversation.

So he was just gonna leave you in the hands of the very handsome wolf shifter? Cool.

"Yeah, it's kind of a crazy story," you mused. Understatement of the century. "Thanks for taking us in, by the way.

"It's no worries," he chirped. "Changmin and us? We go back pretty far, I'd like to think."

"Oh, cool! He mentioned something about that… and something about meeting the pack alpha?"

Kevin's eyes flickered to something behind you, and you turned around to see what or who it was on instinct. "It's nothing to stress about—he's coming this way, actually."

You felt his hand, warm and large, gently settle between your shoulder blades to guide you toward the two men making their way down the alley toward you both.

One of them… well you could feel the subtle shift in the air. It was as if molecules in the air moved for him. He boasted a powerful sort of stature, with dark hair parted neatly to frame a carved face. For a moment, you didn't know if you were supposed to bow or something, but then he smiled, and you nearly fell over from that alone. He wasn't so scary once he smiled.

The man next to him was a lighter brunette with a cheery expression engraved onto his face as if that were his default setting. There was something about him, however—you thought he glowed a little in the dim light. The angel blade in your pocket seemed to warm slightly at the sight of him.

(So was everyone just super attractive in the supernatural world?)

"Changmin-ah," greeted the man with darker colored hair. He clasped his hand with Changmin's in greeting. "It's been awhile."

"It has," your demon counterpart agreed. "Thanks for taking us in on such short notice. I wouldn't have intruded had I known."

The man brushed the thought away. "It's okay, really. Nice to have a couple new faces around."

"Speaking of new faces," drawled the second man. He beamed a pretty smile your way, waving. "Hi, little one."

Something warm blossomed in your chest. "Hi," you said softly. You weren't certain of etiquette—if you were expected to speak for yourself, to bow…

But it seemed Kevin had your back. He clasped his warm hand on your shoulder. "This is Yn. She came in with Changmin."

"Nice to meet you, Yn. I'm Sangyeon." This was the man with black hair, who felt like the tangible version of power. He must have been the pack alpha. He had to be.

The other man placed a hand on his chest. "And I'm Jacob!"

"We're just looking for a place to stay for the night," Changmin piped up. He tucked his hands into his pockets, eyes shifting over to yours.

"Well, why don't we head over to the pack house and we can talk about all the details of a plan," said Sangyeon. He inclined his chin in the direction of where you assumed the pack house was. Then his eyes, you watched their keen movements, latched onto Kevin's as if they were communicating silently. "Yn," you nearly jolted when you realized he was addressing you. "Kevin's gonna take you to the small inn we have here. It'll give you a little more privacy, and I'm sure you've felt pretty overwhelmed."

It didn't sound like he was asking you, but there was a warmth to his smile. You couldn't help but feel inclined to agree.

Changmin's head went on a swivel. "Wait, she's not coming with us?"

Haknyeon and Jacob were already rounding on either side of him to guide him in the opposite direction Kevin was leading you. Something in the back of your head made you turn over your shoulder to look at him. Was being separated such a bad thing?

Haknyeon suddenly tossed Kevin your backpack, the latter shouldering it.

"Come on, Yn," Kevin chirped, angling his body as he nudged you along so you could no longer see Changmin. "There's a lovely hearth in the main lobby, and the auntie who runs the place makes the best cookies ever."

You nodded slowly as your brain struggled to think of any reason why they would separate you from Changmin. And why did he sound so surprised? Your hand drifted toward the pocket that hid your angel blade. "Oh, really? That sounds nice."

They didn't drug them, did they? Your shoulders tensed at the idea.

Why did they separate you and Changmin—

The inn was the building right outside the alley with a porch that spanned the front facade. The architecture reminded you of an upscale cabin with large oak logs piled atop each other to make up the structure. A warm light emitted from the front windows and glass doors, and you swore you could smell the cookies from here.

When you and Kevin entered the building, he called out a greeting to an older woman stationed behind a reception desk in the back corner. She greeted the both of you with a cordial smile, wiggling her fingers in a wave. Her head tilted curiously at you, however, her eyes zeroing in on…

Your attention was drawn away and you were directed toward the seating area on the other side of the lobby.

"Can I get you any water or anything?" Kevin asked you as he motioned for you to take a seat in the armchair adjacent to him. He set your backpack at your feet for you.

You lowered yourself onto the edge of the seat, hand reaching for the pendant beneath your shirt—you stopped short. Could he sense the power of the pendant? Was that why they separated you from your demon bodyguard? Oh fuck—

"Hey, hey," Kevin suddenly said softly, face morphing into an expression of concern. "No need to get panicked, okay? You're safe now."

Wait. What? You wrung your hands in your lap, heart still throwing itself up against your ribcage. "Safe? What do you mean safe? Safe from what?"

Kevin considered you for a moment, but the gentleness from his voice and body language never left. "You're safe from Changmin."

"Safe from Changmin?"

"Yes," he affirmed patiently. "The bruises on your neck—"

Your hand went to cover the side of your throat where it had been pierced by the maw of a demon, but not Changmin.

"—does he feed from you? They look fresh—"

You immediately put your hands up to gesticulate in wild opposition. "Oh, no, no, no. He—he didn't feed from me; he saved my life, actually. We were attacked by other demons and I was bleeding out, and he just closed the wounds. He… he isn't, uhm… yeah."

Kevin's posture changed, and his smile became relieved—sheepish even. "Well, shit. I'm sorry for assuming, Yn; it's just that a lot of people end up here because they're in unhealthy relationships, and I saw the marks on your neck and just assumed the worst." He cupped the back of his neck. "This must have been really confusing for you. Sorry about that."

Okay, now that made a lot more sense. Your adrenaline was slowly teetering out and the tension left your shoulders. "No, please, that's honestly really nice that you would help victims like this. It did give me a little scare, but… yeah no, this wasn't Changmin's doing."

"That eases my mind a lot," he chuckled. Then he turned and nodded to the auntie behind the reception desk. You watched as she disappeared out the doors of the inn. "She's just gonna let Sangyeon know that everything's good."

"I thought you said you and Changmin go way back…?" Did they not trust him?

Kevin leaned back in his armchair. "We do. It's just protocol, you know? Whether or not we know them, it doesn't matter."

That was good for victims, you thought. Though, you couldn't imagine what they were really discussing with Changmin then… "So Changmin…"

"Sangyeon, Jacob, and Haknyeon would have taken care of him if I told them he was harming you," he replied, lips pressed together. "They really are talking about how you both ended up here though—that, and plans for the morning."

It was like he could read your mind.

A lot had happened just now, and you were still reeling from the fact that you didn't need to prepare to run. Though, you were still hyperaware of Clyde's warmth in your pocket.

Kevin noticed your far-off expression. He leaned forward onto his knees, that kind smile of his curling onto his face and making you feel some sort of woozy. "I know it's probably been a lot for you. Do you have any questions for me?"

He was so different from Changmin. While with the demon getting information was like pulling teeth, here was Kevin offering you information. They were polar opposites, really. You wondered what it might have been like if Kevin had been the one to take you on this quest instead—your mind shuttered. What a strange thought. Changmin might have been a pain in your ass in the beginning (and still now), but… it wasn't like he hadn't protected you. You didn't know.

"I guess," you started, "what's gonna happen now?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Well, uhm, I think we're both gonna find out once Changmin gets back. See what they've all decided on. But for sure, you and he will be able to shack up here for the night."

You gave a slow nod. "Is Sangyeon the pack alpha? Kind of a stupid question—"

"It's not a stupid question at all," Kevin said. "But yes, he's the pack alpha. You can just consider him as a community leader, essentially."

"And you're all wolf shifters?"

A nod, then he paused, tilting his head. "Yes, but Jacob's not a wolf shifter; he's an angel."

Your eyebrows flew up. Everything was suddenly making a lot more sense. "An angel? So he and Changmin aren't, like, mortal enemies or anything?" You hadn't noticed any wings on him…

Kevin laughed. "Oh, you're cute. No, thankfully they are not mortal enemies. Jacob's too nice to have enemies."

"Even someone like Changmin?" You jested.

"Even someone like Changmin," he said, humoring you. "Speaking of the demon, you two aren't…?"

You sucked in a breath. "Definitely not. We're not together or anything. It's a long story, but our meeting and traveling together is just because of a common goal." You couldn't tell why the thought of you and Changmin being an item made your heart cartwheel. Perhaps it was simply the anxiety of being thought of as Changmin's significant other that made you want to jump to correct that assumption. Yes, that was it.

Kevin bit his bottom lip like he was trying to hide a smile. "Ah, I see. That's good to know."

"And why's that?" You asked.

You could have sworn if he was in wolf form, his ears would have been tucked against his head. "Nothing!" He insisted. "It would just be a shame to not take a chance when it's presented, you know?"

You weren't quite sure what he meant by that, but for some reason, you were eager to find out.

It was late still when Changmin knocked on your open door, lingering on the threshold. You had just stepped out of the shower in the private en suite your accommodations had, a towel settled upon your shoulders to act as a barrier between your wet hair and dry clothes. He didn't look any worse for wear—then again, he never did.

"Everything okay with Kevin?" He asked, clearing his throat. You felt his eyes on you, scanning your body as if searching for any signs out of the ordinary.

You were searching for your phone charger in your bag. "Yeah, it was good. What—what happened with you?" You asked and lifted your eyes to meet his as you fondled the cord between your fingers.

He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Well," he drawled, "Sangyeon offered to send a small group out to scout for any signs of our pursuers from today. In the meantime, we're invited to stay here to recuperate for a couple days. If not, then they'll restock our supplies and help us out of here."

"I'm guessing you already made a decision." You paused when you realized there weren't any outlets in this room. Anywhere. A curse fell from your lips and you dumped your cord and dead cell phone into your bag.

"I figured you could use the rest," he said.

Your head whipped upward.

He arched a brow at you. "If that's alright with you."

Was he really asking you? No buts, no ifs, no snark? "Yeah, that's fine with me."

"Maybe a couple days here will be good for your frail, human body anyway."

There it is. You rolled your eyes so far back, you swore you saw your brain waving at you. "And maybe some fake demon sleep will make you less grouchy."

You thought he smiled. It could have been a trick of the light or sleep deprivation. "Whatever."

Just when it seemed like he was about to turn and leave, he stopped. "Kevin's taken a liking to you."

You stilled, attention piqued. "Really? How could you tell?"

Changmin gauged your reaction, and again, you couldn't quite tell what he was thinking. "You need to sleep."

"Wait, you're just gonna ignore my—and he's gone." You huffed and collapsed onto the bed. It was awfully comfortable.

Leave it up to Changmin to leave you high and dry like that.

You rolled over the surface of the bed to close your door. Quietly, you went around the room to close the knobs of the lanterns to put out the lights like Kevin had showed you earlier. The only light now came from outside the window, the campfire and lanterns in the pack center streaming through the shutters to create an elongated stripe pattern along the walls and floors.

You climbed into bed—it was a strange, but welcomed feeling.

Only a couple days without a bed, yet it felt like years had passed. You could only hope you didn't wake up to a demon at your throat this time.

#7—THE ONLY ONE.

WOLVES BEAT EVEN THE SUN from her slumber, you came to find out. The next morning, you rolled out of bed to hear the sound of muffled voices outside your window. Your body ached in places you didn't even think they could ache, and you stretched your arms up over your head as you opened the shutters.

Just a little off from your window stood a small gathering of creatures, both in human and wolf forms. You recognized Kevin as one of the human ones among them. It was the noise of your open shutter that had him turning his head up toward your window. He saw you there, and a smile blossomed on his face, bright and easy. He wasn't wearing a shirt again, as was the other man standing beside him. The other two in their group were wolves.

Kevin waved at you, catching the attention of the others with him. The man beside him beamed and waved, too.

You chuckled to yourself and returned the gesture.

Kevin beckoned you down with his hand.

You searched the window sill for the latch, muttering in triumph when you managed to notch it open.

He had walked over to stand directly below your window by the time you stuck your head out. "Good morning!" He chirped. "Good sleep?"

"Good morning, and so far I think so," you mused, unconsciously smoothing down your hair. You hadn't even checked the state of your bed head. Yikes.

"There's breakfast in the pack house if you'd like," he offered. "I can walk you over?"

You leaned your cheek against your fist. "Sounds great. Give me some time to get ready."

"Take your time!"

You locked the window back up, dropped the shutters, and hurried to get changed. It occurred to you, as you were getting yourself prepped and primed to face another day in a new world, that you hadn't felt so giddy in awhile. And about a boy nonetheless. The skip in your step was crazy to you, and—did you even have anything nice to wear?

You just managed to yank one of the nicer of your graphic tees over your head when you heard a knock at the door.

"Just a second!" You called, carding your fingers through your hair and separating into three so you could braid it out of your face.

You ripped the door open. "Hi."

Changmin stood on the other side looking slightly refreshed with his dark hair damp and plastered over his forehead. His eyes narrowed slightly at your lightened countenance, the way you actually cared about how you were doing your hair, the… everything. He sent you a look. "Breakfast is in the pack house, but I have a feeling you already knew that."

"Yeah, I was just headed down, actually." You stepped out into the hallway with him, closing your bedroom door behind you. Clyde sat in your pocket, replacing where your phone would have been stashed had it any use.

He cocked his head to the side. "You seem a lot more…" He made a gesture with one of his hands. "Alive."

"Well, considering I don't have magic regeneration—"

"Forget I said anything," he said, shaking his bangs from his eyes and beginning to walk down the corridor toward his room. "Go get sustenance, Yn."

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. You watched him disappear into his room before you made your way to the stairs.

Kevin was waiting for you in the lobby, perking up when you appeared on the stairway landing and made your descent. He took a couple steps to meet you in the middle, and you noticed that he had found a shirt to put on. Damn. "Hope you like waffles," he said as the two of you fell into step beside each other to head out of the inn.

"Love 'em."

It seemed that the entirety of Moonstone Creak was awake, even at such an early hour. The sun had yet to even clamber up above the treetops, leaving the sky a soft mesh of purple and orange. The air was as fresh as it had been yesterday, cool and pure, washing your lungs and waking you up some more.

"Is everyone awake so early?" You asked him, inhaling as much of the peace as you could.

Kevin nodded. "Pretty much, unless you're just coming back from a night watch. We usually encourage the pups to come out and exercise with us."

"Us?"

"The pack's primary watch," he clarified. "You probably saw me talking to a few of them earlier."

"Ah," you hummed. "That's nice though. You're all such a lovely community… It's refreshing."

His eyes twinkled as he smiled at you. "Thank you. I like to think we're a really big family."

You could see as much. By the way Kevin greeted all of his fellow pack members, a part of you wondered what it might have been like to grow up somewhere like this instead of always chasing after safety and security.

You and your sister had always got by somehow, but it had never been like this. With your parents gone so early in both of your lives, you only really had each other to rely on, besides the occasional aunt and uncle who took turns caring for the both of you until your sister turned 18. And now with your sister gone?

For some reason, it felt like you were still taking care of her in death. But perhaps that was the cost of seeking closure.

You weren't sure what you were expecting when they said pack house, but what you saw was about what it sounded like it was going to be. It was similar to the inn and many of the buildings around the area with its log cabin likeness, but this one was much, much larger. You could hear the squeals of children from out here, and there were smaller wolves chasing each other's tails around the wraparound porch. A few stopped to sit and cock their heads at you as you passed, their tails tick-tocking behind them.

It was strange seeing wolves carry around infants and toddlers in their hulking jaws, too, and Kevin chuckled when you almost stopped in your tracks. "It's no harm to them, don't worry."

"Yeah," you laughed nervously, fingering the pendant at your sternum. "It'll take some getting used to. Are you born as a wolf or as a human?" You asked him as the two of you stepped up the front steps of the porch and walked through the entryway.

"Depends—woah, hey guys. Careful!" Kevin clicked his tongue as he caught and lifted one of the younger boys off his legs just before he accidentally knocked over a table holding a vase of flowers.

The kid and his friend giggled as Kevin put him down away from the table. "Sorry Kevin!" And they were gone, out the front door.

He shared a smile with you, cupping the back of his neck. "Where was I?" He gestured to your right down a hallway; you could smell the sweetness and buttery goodness of breakfast. "Oh, right. It depends: since wolves and humans are mammals, giving birth is a little easier than other non-mammal shifters."

"Non-mammal shifters?" Your eyebrows shot up. "What other shifters exist?"

"Any you can think of, to be honest," he said. "All pups learn about their own growth and development though, especially since learning to shift and stay in touch with both their animal and human sides is so integral. It would probably be better if I connected you with someone who identifies as female to talk about birth specifically though," he admitted.

The kitchen was painted a pale shade of yellow that reflected the golden rays of sun and made the whole room much warmer and brighter. There was a mishmash of wolves and humans milling about the central island where a buffet-style breakfast was being served. The variety of food before you was enough to make even—as you liked to think—Changmin's mouth water. (He didn't need to eat, your ass. You saw the blueberry pancakes on the far end and wondered if he had some yet.)

Kevin passed you one of the plates stacked at the end before grabbing one for himself. "Lily, thank you for breakfast!"

Lily, you identified, was the woman leaning against the sink with a pale blue apron tied around her waist and baby bump. "You're welcome! Haknyeonie helped out, too."

Haknyeon's blond head poked in from where he was partly hiding in the butler's pantry, his cheeks stuffed with food. "Hm?"

You laughed to yourself as you started off by transferring a waffle to your plate. "Yes, thank you so much for breakfast. It looks delicious."

"Oh, no need for that," Lily beamed as she came over to the island across from you and put more food onto your plate. "Take more, please. We have so much to go around."

"Oh," you blinked, watching Kevin start to pile things onto his own plate. "It's so much; I don't want to take more than I can finish—"

"I'll help you finish," Kevin offered, shoving a strawberry into his mouth. "I'm sorry if it seems like we're pressuring you, though. I guess we're all just used to making sure the other is fed around here."

You could melt like a slab of butter between two warm hotcakes. "Thank you—I appreciate the thought."

Kevin ruffled your hair as the two of you continued around your tour of the island. "Of course."

From the entryway you had just come in, Sangyeon arrived whistling an offhanded tune under his breath. "Good morning, everyone!"

"Good morning!" Chorused around the kitchen at differing intervals as everyone greeted their pack alpha.

Sangyeon beelined around the island and over to Lily, the two of them exchanging fond touches and a warm kiss in greeting. "Morning, love."

"Good morning," Lily said. "Eaten yet?"

The dots connected in your head and you nudged Kevin as the two of you finished up at the island. "Lily and Sangyeon—?"

"Yeah, she's our alpha female," Kevin confirmed. "Six months pregnant. They celebrated nuptials about a year ago."

"Ah." You didn't mean to stare, but they were such a beautiful couple. Though you thought Sangyeon's smile was warm, it was nothing compared to the one he saved just for his partner.

He must have felt your eyes on him, and he lifted his gaze to yours while he held one of Lily's hands. "Yn, sleep well?"

Your eyes widened. "Oh, uh, yes. Yes, thank you."

"All of your accommodations are to your satisfaction, I hope?"

"More than satisfied," you stammered with a sheepish smile; he was talking to you, right? Everything was way beyond what you had been living with for the past couple of days. A demon-infested motel or this? Well, no competition there. You could still feel the impression of Changmin's passenger seat in your back.

Sangyeon nodded. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I was hoping to speak with you and Changmin after breakfast about your situation. It'll be with myself and my closest advisors, plus the two of you."

"Yes, of course," you said. "Does Changmin already know?"

"I'll have someone run and let him know."

You and Kevin were dismissed to go forth with breakfast. The two of you settled in a room next door to the kitchen fitted with a long dining table that reminded you of a cartoon rich people banquet table. You sat adjacent to each other, Kevin at the head, and you with the seat to his left.

You smeared butter over the slots of your waffle. "Do I have to worry about what Sangyeon's gonna talk about at the meeting?"

Kevin shoved his bite into his cheek. "To my knowledge, no, but if you're worried, Sangyeon's advisors are a pretty cool crowd."

"Oh yeah?" You asked.

His lips turned up as he chewed. "Mhm," he hummed before swallowing, "I should know since I'm one of them."

Sangyeon had an office deep within the first floor of the pack house. It was tucked away somewhere between the living room in the back and the door down to the wine cellar. (Kevin joked that the first pack alpha had planned the layout of the first floor deliberately.)

Following your hearty breakfast, you found yourself seated in one of the armchairs in the leader's office chambers, amongst Changmin (in the chair next to you) and the other members of the so-called inner circle. Kevin lingered nearby, leaning against the office's hearth with his arms and ankles crossed idly. It seemed that the advising board included not just Kevin, but also Jacob, Lily, and someone named Juyeon. You learned that he was out on night guard when you came in last night, so you weren't able to properly meet him until now.

Sangyeon stood next to the office chair seated behind the grand, mahogany desk; Lily was automatically given the chair because of her pregnancy, and because she'd been working all morning. "Concerning the white sedan you said was trailing after you two yesterday—" he said, "—none of our scouts could follow a solid scent past the freeway entrance. It was interesting, actually."

Changmin leaned forward onto his forearms. "How so?" He asked, eyebrows creasing.

Sangyeon nodded to Juyeon, who filled in, "Well, we couldn't figure out what their scent is."

"How is that even possible?"

You blinked, brain whirring into overdrive. There was something you were missing yet again. What was the context here?

Kevin stepped over to your side and murmured to you, "We can usually pick apart scents to identify the layers, so this is why it's… concerning."

"Ah," you nodded. "Thanks."

"It was distinct for sure," Juyeon supplied with a vague gesture of his hands, "but it was nearly impossible to tell what species they were. It was easy enough picking apart the entity from the car smells—" Exhaust fumes, metal, seats, you assumed, "—and we could follow the smell as far as the entrance to the highway you guys came from, but…" He shook his head. "No-go. In all my years, I've never come across anything like it."

The helplessness that settled into the grooves of the room made you squirm, and your fingers fondled the red pendant at your collar again. Here was a space of the all-powerful, and yet, something as simple as a scent was throwing them all for a loop. You couldn't begin to wrap your head around the implications, because, well—you didn't know the implications.

(Dark. You were always sitting in the dark.)

Changmin passed you a glance, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking, as usual. "There has to be a way to somehow analyze it. Could we consult a witch?"

"I've already called an old friend," said Lily. "They're on their way over presently."

"Could I see the pendant?" Jacob's voice carried out into the room. Though he himself was soft-spoken, one could not mistake his volume. Everyone's attention cut over to you, and you wanted to be swallowed up by the earth beneath your feet. "If that's okay," he added. "It feels familiar."

"Feels?" You echoed, gripping the stone in your hand. The chain dug into the flesh of your neck as you anxiously yanked on it.

Changmin's eyes darted from the stone to you. "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" You were overwhelmed; that was what you thought. You fisted it in your hand, suddenly reluctant to part with the thing that had caused you so much trouble as of late. You felt… an uncanny urge to keep it in your possession. "Uhm… you can see it, but I won't take it off."

Your devilish counterpart narrowed his eyes slightly, cocked his head to the side, at your behavior. He didn't say anything though, as if this truly was just all your decision. Perhaps this was because he knew that you weren't exactly buddies with these people yet. In retrospect, they were still strangers, and thus, potential threats to you.

Jacob took easy strides over to you from where he was standing by the desk. He passed you a reassuring smile as he knelt in front of you, close enough that you could see the eyelashes brush his cheeks. There was something warm radiating from him, and you swore you saw a flash of gold in his eyes.

Angel, right.

He rose up on his knees, holding out his hand, but not touching you. "May I?"

You pinched the part of the pendant attached to the chain and stuck it out toward him.

Jacob's eyebrows knitted together as he touched the pendant with only the tips of his fingers. You held your breath throughout the entirety of his assessment. When he finally leaned back onto his haunches, you blinked away whatever angelic warmth still lingered. "Juyeon, come smell the pendant."

Your eyes widened. "Uhm—"

"Hold on, what?"

"Wait, Jacob."

The latter two responses came from Changmin and Kevin, respectively, the two startling at Jacob's request.

There was a swift exchange of glances between everyone else and the alpha wolves in the room.

Lily said, "Yn?"

"Why are we sniffing the pendant now?" You asked, finding your voice.

Jacob looked up innocently. "Sorry, I probably should have explained myself. I think it might smell like the scent Juyeon was trying to track."

Something in the room shifted. You glanced down at the pendant in your grip and the questions in your head accumulated and accumulated and accumulated. What in Hell did you get me into, Sena?

"Okay," you said, "you can… smell the pendant."

You weren't sure why he couldn't smell it from where he was, but he took a couple steps over to you and replaced Jacob's position. Changmin's hand appeared on the arm of your chair as he leaned forward slightly.

Juyeon took a cautionary sniff, and his eyes widened. "That's it. It's—it was slightly different, but similar enough where it has to be the same entity." He looked up at you. "Is this the only one of its kind?"

You met Changmin's eyes.

He looked away first. "No."

Your gaze became earnest in his direction, and if you could, you would burn twin holes in the side of his head like a snakebite. More shit he hadn't told you. Were you surprised?

No? What did he mean no?

"We need to talk," you forced out of gritted teeth, gripping onto the arm of his chair now.

He passed you a glance. Later.

"Well, we can only really assume that the person following you was most likely after the pendant," Jacob said plainly as he stood from the ground and dusted off his pants. "But now that we know the origin of the scent, per se, it'll make the hunt a little easier."

Sangyeon gave a bob of his head. "Kevin, you're leading the search party for the day."

Kevin's head perked up, hand on the back of your chair. "But—"

A single look from his leader made his mouth snap closed.

"Yes, sir," Kevin murmured with a shallow nod of acknowledgement. He gave the back of your chair a small pat, then departed without another word from the office. You thought you could feel his presence leave your side, from the room. All of this feeling… was this how the supernatural operated? Was this what a sixth sense entailed all along?

"Juyeon—" the man in question raised his head, "—go find where Haknyeon and Eric are." Sangyeon scratched his temple with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like exasperation. "Grab them and round up the pups."

Juyeon brightened. "Are we taking them down to the creak?"

Lily nodded her approval. "Ooh, nice idea. Yn and Changmin, you're both free to join us. It's lovely down there."

You forced your hand to fall away from the pendant, but not before tucking it back beneath the collar of your shirt. It felt too exposed out here, sitting on your sternum for all to see. You nodded though, trying for a small smile. "Sure, sounds nice."

Sangyeon patted the desktop. "Excellent! The two of you can continue to make yourselves at home."

Though this was a physical conclusion to the meeting, your stomach continued to sit uncomfortably. This conversation should not have been over so quickly… right? Was there not more to discuss? Perhaps not now then. Maybe it was better to take your time letting this all sink in.

"Ah, before the two of you go join the little ones," Jacob cut in. He shot Changmin a pointed look. "You owe me something."

Changmin roughed a hand through his bangs, but you could have sworn his lips curled up with a smile. "Aish… your memory."

"It never fails me when I need it."

You glanced between the two; Changmin did owe you yet another explanation, but if there was something these two planned to settle… "What? What is it this time?"

Jacob grinned, and you definitely hadn't been hallucinating when you saw flickers of gold in his irises. "He owes me a sparring match."

a/n: i am clasping my hands in prayer for a reblog, comment, or ask. take a moment to grab a snack, drink some water, and head over to the second part! thanks for reading

read part two here (if it's not linked yet, refresh and it'll be at the top)

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr @kflixnet

[atopfourthwall]

Hello, big fan of yours and I love listening to your well thought-out and honest takes on the things you review. Event Comics Month 5 was excellent, I'm going to be re-binging the whole series soon. Just out of curiosity, I've just watched your Star Trek Broken Mirror review, and got reminded of something you said at the end of Superior Spidey 1-5. What is it about the villainous TNG crew here that makes it work for you here, as opposed to the villanous Doc Ock Spidey being the the focus? Or alternatively, why does the alternative dark universe with known and established characters work for you here where it didn't in, say, Future's End?

So before the schedule slip-ups, the Broken Mirror review was supposed to come out RIGHT AFTER the Superior Spider-Man review, within a week or so. But I completely anticipated people being confused why I was so against that but enjoyed the openly villainous mirror universe stuff.

When it became clear the episode wasn't going to come out anywhere near when it was supposed to, I cut out my ending shpiel about it, figuring people wouldn't really care that much about it or even be thinking about it when there was so long separating the time between them. However, since I thought it might come up again, I saved the text of that, soooo enjoy this cut section of the script! This was before general proofreading and editing, so it's likely this would have changed in the final script (I think I was repetitive in one or two spots) Voiceover So why do I like this kind of story with villain protagonists while other ones like Superior Spider-Man leave me sour? I think partly because we are still seeing THEIR stories – it’s not intruding on another’s like Ock stealing Spidey’s body, identity, etc. It’s also unpredictable. We frequently joke about how some characters in TV shows have main character shields – that we know nothing will PERMANTLY hurt a character because… well, they’re a main character. A story that features alternate versions of these characters does open up possibilities for storytelling not possible in the main version of the media we’re watching. Plus there is something just fun where all of the values we enjoy exemplified in heroic characters are completely inverted – being conniving, sinister, manipulative, and just a general asshole don’t have to be frowned upon. It’s an alternate universe – not the main one we follow, where we have fun witnessing something recognizable – the aspects of these characters we know and love… but twisted to ridiculous degrees.

Live Action Plus, just the open villainy on display is entertaining. Sure, they have their own twisted sense of morality at times, but really it comes down to “Mwahahahaha, I will conquer the universe!” kind of goofy.

Voiceover One of the things that people said they liked about Superior Spider-Man was that they felt it was Otto Octavius trying to be a better person. But in my personal opinion, I didn’t see that. I saw a guy who thinks he’s ALREADY a better person – an arrogant douchenozzle who assumes he knows better and can DO better than the guy whose body he stole. Sure, he wants to help people now… but it’s not out of a recognition of his own moral failures and how wrong he used to be and wanting to improve himself. It’s instead out of a selfish desire to validate his ego. “I can live this guy’s life better than him – I can be a better hero than him!”

Live Action Whereas with the mirror universe, they hold no illusions about moral superiority, they’re just like “IT’S COOL AND I WANT IT. GIMME GIMME GIMME.” And I think that’s just refreshing for me.

[bringbacktim]

Anal? No one's doing anal

I'm having a Jschlatt brainrot rn so expect more imagines than anyone wants , feel free to request anything

Synopsis: schlatt and y/n are putting together a desk , but it sounds inappropriate to Charlie outside the room , he gets worried like any friend would

Warnings:mentions of anal , hurt , sexual intercourse, innuendos, a whole lot of whacky stuff , not proofread or edited

Word count: 806 words

The only things that charlie could hear from the outside of the OTK office/filming room were things that would definitely give him nightmares and make him avoid Schlatt and Y/n for the foreseeable future

Who said I can't put this fucking thing in that hole " schlatt said practically shouting out of anger

"Me ! , for the hundredth time it shouldn't go there no matter how much you ask" his girlfriend answered

"Tell me that doesn't look like it'll fit in there"

"I am not turning around , I know I'm right . Now hurry up before Charlie or Ted get back"

Charlie was torn between making some loud noise and hoping they'd stop whatever they sound like they're doing or running away and never speaking to them again

He did neither out of pure terror and instead pulled out his phone to text Ted to see if this was some skit or some prank they were playing or whether they were actually doing that in the studio where they filmed

'Hey dude, do you know what Y/n and Shclatt are doing in the studio?' He texted simply not bothering to beat around the bush

'Anal by the sounds of it , but I have no clue, didn't want to know to be honest'

Charlie really didn't want the first bit to be true , especially since he was only there to hold one of the cameras while they filmed stuff . He was getting way more than he bargained for

'Gross , don't joke about that or it'll come true' he replied a grimace on his face

'They've been at it for a solid half hour , they should be done soon don't worry man'

'Don't worry man ? You clearly aren't hearing this' charlie scoffed at Ted's audacity

'I escaped with minimal trauma thankfully' he could feel Ted's smugness through the screen

'And you didn't think to take me with you?'

'Didn't know if they wanted you to film it'

'You're disgusting nivison' and with that he put his phone back in his pocket and tried to plan what he was going to do next

"I fucking told you that wouldn't fit, are you done trying yet ?"

"It's going to fit I don't care what you say you god damn bitch"  at that charlie knew he had to do something for the safety of his friends

So he did what anyone would do and knocked on the door rather harshly to make sure he was heard

"Yeah , uh kinda busy" He heard y/n say

"I know you guys are in love , but that's a recording room . Also are you okay ?"

"Yeah fine just pissed at this furniture" schlatt admitted

"Schlatt!" Y/n said scolding him

"Are you both decent? Can I come in?"

"Yeah why wouldn't we be" they both simultaneously spoke

The situation he opened the door to was definitely not what he was expecting, but in a good way

They were just trying to put a new coffee table together to replace the one Schlatt broke in the previous recording

"Oh thank god" Charlie said with a hand over his heart as he breathed a sigh of relief "we thought you were doing anal"

"Anal? No one's doing anal , I'm not allowed to anymore" that comment earned him a firm slap to the chest

"Please stop talking, for my sake" charlie begged

At that charlie showed them the texts him and Ted had sent and they put the pieces together

"Oh charlie I'm so sorry you heard that , we just wanted to surprise you with the new coffee table before the next video" y/n apologised to her friend as her boyfriend loudly laughed next to her

"That's so fucking funny man , how did we not realise" he said wiping a tear from his eye "you look so terrified man" he said still laughing and using Charlie's shoulder as a stabilizer

"Is that why ted left?" Y/n asked shocked that everyone thought they were doing such a thing "this is so embarrassing and it's all your fault" she said pointing at her boyfriend who broke the table in the first place

"You have to admit that it's kinda funny" he said turning to face his girlfriend as Charlie called Ted and told him he can come back

"Charlie has the worst luck when it comes to us" she said sympathy evident in her voice "remember when he walked in on us in Ted's bathroom at that party"

"Be thankful it was him and not Ted" this earned him a middle finger in his direction

"What a wacky day it's been" Ted said entering the room they all were in

"You haven't been here for half of it " charlie accused as they chatted about what to film next

[damnedbeauty77]

leon kennedy x fem!reader

!MDNI!

cw: smut, p in v, reader a little traumatised, vanilla and protected, swearing. idk how to do this

summary: reader meets leon, her possible future boss, in a bar with jill and chris.

notes: this is my first time writing smut, did proofread and edit before publishing, if u have any ideas for improvement just dm me x

words: 2.1k

i sit at the bar, leaning over to ask the bartender for a pink gin. what can i say, it looks pretty. my friend went home with some girl already, leaving me with myself at 10.30 at night.

it's fine. it's whatever. i could meet someone. i could have fun.

"hi there."

a guys takes the stool next to me.

i smile. he's cute. he has light, silver-y hair, parted to the side in a messy style. very much, my type.

"hi there." i respond lightly. i might be little drunk.

"i'm leon. what's your name?" he asks, putting an elbow on the bar to tap his fingers on his wood. i have to stop myself from giggling.

"y/n... are you going to buy me a drink?" i twirl my my hair lazily and leon almost copies my movements, brushing his hair back with his left hand. i wonder if he has a bald spot.

"of course. what are you having?"

"well, i'm actually looking to try something new. ive been drinking gin since i was 16. what would you recommend?"

"well, for a pretty girl like you, id have to say a cocktail. vodka, maybe... sex on the beach?"

...

"you work in the bsaa? i literally applied there yesterday!" i laugh. "yeah, well, kind of. i work with them in the dso."

my mouth drops a little in shock. "no way, you're leon kennedy? one of the—"

"founders, yes." leon sighs, laughing. "i really didn't expect all of this to come up when i decided to come talk to you."

i stop and blink a little. i forgot what he was really here for, at least for a moment. "well, shit. sorry. i mean like.. we can still go somewhere, if you want." his eyes widen a little. "no, no i'm sorry. i like talking to you. i was going to ask for your number- my friends are still here." he signals to a table in the corner of the bar. a man and a woman laugh together as they drink.

i smile. "oh, i've been keeping you from them."

"not at all, they told me to talk to you - encouraged me."

"well i hope you don't have a bet going, because i was starting to like you."

leon laughs. "really?"

"don't be smug. do you still want my number?" it feels so normal. "yes."

i wrote it out on a napkin and gave it to him.

"can i meet your friends? that guy is pretty hot." i tease him, making him bit his lower lip. a tinge of jealously emanates off of him. "i thought the girl would be more your type." he replies. i nod. "she is."

i follow leon to the table. he introduces me.

"this is y/n." he says to them. "hi. it's nice to meet you." i reply. "that's chris redfield, and that's jill valentine."

"hi." the girl says to me. oh my god, she is actually really gorgeous. "sit with us." she says, opening the seat next to her as leon takes a seat next to chris. i look at chris. he makes eye contact for a second, then looks away as he drinks his beer.

"i love your jacket." i tell jill. she's wearing black leather, i'm assuming faux based on her haircut.

"thank you, i got it from a thrift store, i think..." she replies. knew it. "i love your top. it's really sexy." she says. i look down. i'm wearing a black mesh top with a black bra underneath. "oh shit. i really forget whenever i wear this shirt.. then wonder why everyone is staring at my tits." i take a drink. i notice jill looking at my tits for a second before clearing her throat. "totally. i see the appeal." she says. then she puts a hand to her head in embarrassment. i laugh. "you're very brave."

"chris, y/n said she was applying to the bsaa." leon changes the subject, turning to me. "he works there right now."

i straighten up my posture, "oh well, i hope you forget everything i do tonight and put in a good word for me."

chris nods. "I'll ask about you." he replies. i feel a bit shouldered. is he emotionally unavailable? is that why i'm so attracted to him?

"what do you do, now?" jill asks me. "i was in the airforce, for just about 4 years." i say. "i've been kind of working a bunch of different jobs, i was in the nypd, until last month."

"airforce. you hear that chris?" jill laughs a little, looking at me. "i was in the airforce as well, when i was younger." chris elaborates. "what base were you?"

"active duty. but honestly, they kind of kept me behind the scenes. i can fly a jet, but i guess i'm just better on a computer."

"see, us girls gotta stay together." jill pushes my shoulder. jesus christ, how many drinks has she had?

"yeah, of course. girl." i smile. "what do you guys do?" leon spluffs. "oh, you know. just bsaa stuff. bioterrorism, security..." he trails off. "what are the two a's again?" he asks chris. he laughs a bit, letting out a little sigh.

...

by around 12am, i start to feel exhausted. we've been talking and drinking for hours, and i just want to... i don't know. go home? but i want to stay with them at the same time...

i check my watch. "it's getting pretty late. i think i might go home." i look at chris for a reaction. he does give me a look of respect, i know when to stop.

"no way, you've drank way too much. i'll call you a cab." leon protests.

"no, no, i only live like a mile from here."

"then i'll walk you home." he insists. i smile. "really? you'd do that?" jill and chris talk in the background. leon smiles in return. "yeah. of course."

i nod.

he walks me out the bar, at one point placing a hand on the small of my waist at one point, making me let go of consciousness.

"you know, i'm staying just down that way." he points with two fingers to a lane next to us. "if you want, you can stay at my place for the night."

my face totally flushes. "um, i wouldn't mind that." not the first time ive fucked someone i met the first night after meeting them. leon's nice though. i think he would call me.

"okay.. good." he says. he turns to me for moment, looking into my eyes. then, kisses me softly. i feel blood rush to my brain in satisfaction and arousal.

"thanks for coming to talk to me tonight. i probably would have left if you didn't." i tell him, putting my arms around his neck as he lets go of my ass... when did he managed to slip his hands there??

he leads me down the streets, his hand around my waist as he flirts shamelessly. then as he's about to open the door to go inside, he stops and looks at me.

"this isn't.. going too fast, or anything, right?"

"i'm fine with it as long as you are. we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"no, no- i want to. i want to." he almost whines. his tone makes me smile. "good." i repeat him, kissing him again as he fumbles to get the door open.

he tastes like liquor.

i clear my throat, leaning into him. "can i go freshen up?"

he stammers a bit, face red. "yeah, the bathroom is down the hall to the left." he says. i nod, kissing him again before going. i wash under my eyes a bit for makeup, do my business, wash my hands again, then go back out.

leon is on the couch, tv on. he's put on closer. one of my favourites that i mentioned in the bar!

"oh my god, this movie is so sexy." i say, sitting down next to him. "well, i wanted to see what the fuss was about." he says, leaning back and taking a smoke.

"natalie portman, is the fuss." i say, placing my head next to his shoulder on the couch. "wow. you're right. they are all hot." leon laughs a bit, putting a rough hand on my thigh. he draws circles with his thumb over my skin. i look up at him, biting my lip.

i start unbuckling his jeans quickly, kissing him again, this time it looks sloppier, messier. "fuck, y/n." he groans as i palm him through his black calvin kleins. "these are hot.." i comment. "did you know you'd come home with someone to fuck tonight?" i ask innocently. he denies it. "wanted you as soon as i saw you."

i take off the mesh top jill complimented earlier. leon runs his hands all over my hips, waist and plays with the straps on my bra. i take off his shirt before he can do anything with my bra, then strip down my skirt as he pulls down his trousers. he lies sideways on the couch as i crawl over him, kissing his neck, trying to find the spot that makes him moan the most. "do you.. do you have a condom?" leon breathes out.

"yeah, hold on." i say, turning to the side of the couch with my bag leaning on it, opening it rapidly to take out the condom.

i rip it apart, seeing as he's already hard, i put it over his dick without even thinking. it's pretty big. like 7 inches at least. leon fingers me from underneath me, pushing my thong to the side. i moan and kiss his chest, licking a strip from above his dick to before the little line of blond hair at his bellybutton. he loves that, gripping my hair and pulling it up a little. "should i give you head or something, before?" he asks quietly. i shake my head. "i'll be fine. thank you, though." i smile through kisses down his chest, his fingers brushing over my clit. i line myself up as leon takes out his fingers, sinking down on him as i grab onto him shoulders. he sits up a bit, taking my waist with two hands to guide me back and forth on his dick. i roll my hips, kissing him roughly as i run my hands through his hair, combing it through my fingers. his neighbours had to have been hearing us.

leon rubs my clit with one finger as i start lifting myself up and down on him, legs wrapped around him at this point for the best angle. "please, please say my name." he asks quietly. i smile. "what? i can't hear you, baby." i tease him, kissing his ear. he leans his neck back, kissing my lips. "say my name, y/n." he asks again, a bit more commanding this time. and perfectly, he hits my g-spot with a thrust. "leon.. ughh, leon." i moan softly, and he replies by digging his nails into my back. "can i go on top.." he asks a little shy. i nod, letting him push me into my back, landing my head flawlessly onto a loose pillow. he pushes into me again, going significantly faster as he holds up the back of my knees beside his hips.

i see his eyes close for moment, and i feel his dick twitch a little in me. is he about to cum? i can barely read his face.

"fuck, you feel so fucking good." he says. i lean my head back a little, encouraging him to drive as far into me as possible. "oh my god, leon.." i groan, grabbing onto the sofa, scratching the fabric. i moan loud as i cum.

leon quickly follows with a low guttural groan to pair with his stalled thrusts.

i give him a kiss as he pulls out, almost immediately passing out on the couch. he throws the condom in a trash can, collapsing next to me, still naked.

"that was good. you're really good at that." leon says, wiping his forehead a little. i smile, thanking him. "it wasn't your first time, right?" i joke. he laughs, shrugging. "first time having sex with someone i met the same night. also, first time having sex pretty drunk." he confesses, making me laugh a bit. "my apologies if i have trouble remembering this. if i get the job, i mean."

"fuck, i totally forget that you might be working for me in a week... don't mention it to HR, right?" he slides on his boxers again. "so, you're my dirty secret now?" i ask. "if it helps to think of that way, then absolutely." he puts his shirt back on. "you want something else to wear? can't imagine that's comfortable." he points to my tight lace bra and panties.

"if you got a big shirt, i'll take it. want to finish the movie?"

"sure, but you'll have to catch me up." leon smiles coyly.

[jensettermandu]

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧-

1.6

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

content warning; MDNI, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships.

chapter wc; 15.6k+

a/n; sorry for the long wait, i got busy and this chapter needed some extra work while proofreading and editing. fyi, the smut is a bit different in this chapter for the plot.

[One week ago]

There was one person Y/n called when her life was falling apart when it was crumbling and it felt like she had nothing left to live for. One person helped with that as Y/n couldn't grasp at what was happening. What her life had become and how each day it only fell apart more when she thought there was nothing more to crumble.

It was eating at her, the lump was present in her throat and her eyes kept getting warm every time she thought back to what had happened just a few minutes ago. The vixen stood leaning back against the brick wall while picking at her nails. It got hard to breathe, her skin felt itchy, and each breath felt like it was only stealing oxygen and not giving her any.

If the past wasn't important she was supposed to think about the future, but if the future was too much to think about, she was supposed to focus on the present. What was she supposed to do if all three made her want to punch at the grave concrete under her if she wanted to get cut open and bleed until there was no more pain left to bleed?

Y/n's fingers were shaky, her nose prickled with each thought, chest only heating up and clenching while she bit on her nails. It was one step closer to the edge, but it could have been a step off the edge and she knew that. Y/n knew that she had been lucky.

All she wanted was to go home, but she knew that she couldn't, Y/n couldn't seek comfort in her home. Not without being judged. She felt too ashamed, disappointed, and embarrassed with herself to seek comfort in people she usually found it in. Now she could only find it in Jennie because she knew that the woman wouldn't judge her when she told her the reason why. She wouldn't suggest rational solutions, but solutions that worked even if they were irrational.

Jennie had never been someone who would prioritise anyone else over herself or her business unless it would benefit her so even then she did it for herself. That was what was on her mind as she had been driving to pick up Y/n. This was for a benefit, seeing Y/n benefitted her.

How? That was something she couldn't answer, at least she couldn't give a specific answer.

Her elbow rested by the window, her cheek propped against her knuckles as she drove the car through L.A. The shades on her nose were protecting her sore and sensitive eyes, each blink only gave her a bigger headache and they felt dry. At times she felt like her body was crumbling, as if she was made of sand, grains falling with each step that she took until one day there would be nothing left. There wouldn't even be anything to remember her by.

Maybe she saw Y/n so someone would remember her once that day would come. It could be because she wanted to make sure that when she did overdose she wasn't going to be alone. Would it make any difference if she overdosed alone or not? She had no idea because the rot in her heart was slowly spreading, decomposing from the inside and falling apart more and more each day. 

It was good, it made her numb. It would make her care less about dying alone. 

Or maybe that was why she was driving to pick up Y/n. Because the girl made her feel. She wanted to lie and deny it, say that she didn't feel anything, but she did. It didn't matter what it was, what mattered was that it was for her benefit and not for Y/n's sake.

She wouldn't and didn't care about her otherwise.

She tried to tell herself.

Jennie had no clue why Y/n called her, she didn't even text this time but called and asked if she could pick her up. On the other end, she sounded vulnerable, there was that faint quiver in her voice that Jennie had heard a few times before–the times when Y/n had gotten scared of her. It was docile, she needed her, she truly did. Jennie would always take the opportunity to scoop up someone vulnerable, especially Y/n, it made everything so much easier.

She could take care of her and show her that only she could do it. Why else would Y/n call her if it wasn't because she knew that Jennie could fix all her problems?

Jennie stopped the car and looked out her window. There was the minx, dressed like a doll in a black pleated jeans skirt, patterned sheer tights, black leg warmers, black dollete shoes, and a tight-knit shirt that was stopping right above her belly button with small white ribbons on the sleeves. She bit her lower lip, watching the girl who was mindlessly twisting the little purse she had while biting on the nails of her free hand, her gaze stuck on the concrete beneath her feet.

The woman was about to honk so the girl would wake up and spot her to get into the car, but she stopped. Something made her feel bad for wanting to honk at the girl, it felt degrading in the wrong kind of way, especially when Y/n had been so fragile over the phone. It worried Jennie that she would collapse and break like a porcelain doll—It could be that she didn't want to treat Y/n the way she did with any other girl, she already treated her differently when it came to so many things. Never had Jennie driven across town for someone.

Y/n wasn't a whore she would honk at and wait for her to get into her car.

With a heaving sigh, she put her car in park and opened her door, getting out of the Maybach where the air was cooler and into the air that was warmer against her skin. She couldn't tell where Y/n was mentally because the girl wasn't even reacting to her door getting closed. Jennie shoved her hands inside the pockets of her jeans, dressed simply in a pair of light loose jeans, a white tee, and sneakers.

Maybe she didn't know what she was doing.

Maybe somewhere at the back she was scared but wanted to try, however, why she was trying would be something she wouldn't want to answer.

"Are you alright?" Y/n, at last, looked up, her glimmering eyes quickly blinked to try and get rid of the hot sheet of tears covering them. There was no stopping them though as she inhaled deeply and continued to try, but it only helped them to fall. She could feel herself falling with them as she snivelled. Was this the face that finally made Y/n give in and break down after holding it in to not look weak in front of anyone else? Why was it that Jennie destroyed the barriers around her heart and so easily got inside? 

She couldn't even open up to her boyfriend this way, she couldn't break down this way in front of her friends most of the time. Even her best friend was difficult to open up now. It used to be different, but things had changed in her life. There was a godforsaken security in Jennie's disrupted peace and danger. She had willingly become prey to the gentle predator, but there was nothing gentle about Jennie until Y/n found herself being used to the bruises that felt like kisses now.

"No..." Her voice withered like red roses that hadn't been put in water and were left to rot on the counter. There was a rumbling in her chest, a rainstorm that waited to be let out, the thunder made her tremble with each strike. For a second her body wanted to disappear into the wall behind her when Jennie reached up to her face, her eyes hidden behind the sunglasses and her fingers always somewhat trembling yet she caught those diamond tears falling from the eyes that were like diamonds.

Jennie didn't know what to do, but she did what she could as she gently touched Y/n's skin which was like a thousand needles that intoxicated her and reminded her of why she kept chasing the high. These were the moments where she felt like she was guilty as if she had committed a crime and corrupted someone who never deserved it. She hated that Y/n could feel, that she still felt and hadn't gone numb from all the drugs and that she worked like an antidote and made Jennie feel.

Seeing that only wiping her tears wouldn't work Jennie did the next best thing she could as she removed her other hand from her pocket. She gently pulled onto Y/n who gave in without a single tweak of hesitance, no bone in her body resisting Jennie who pulled her into a gentle embrace, taking her without knowing what had happened. Somehow the woman always took her in no matter why Y/n was knocking on the door, she let her in before asking for explanations. 

"It's okay." She tried to reassure her despite not knowing if it was okay or not, but empty promises always worked the best.

"It's not." This empty promise wouldn't work though and she could feel Y/n's breath that was hot with tears brushing against her neck. Her arms wrapped tighter around the girl's waist, her cold hands brushed over the exposed skin as she caressed it.

Y/n knew how bad it was. Jennie was like an allergy, she wasn't good for her and she knew it, but at the same time, she wasn't the lethal type so it never killed her to take more even if it made her feel terrible after.

There was something comforting about Jennie's soft scent of citrus and musk, it was alluring and it made it feel more like a home than Asher was and it made Y/n feel even worse on top of it all.

"What happened?" She questioned, showing genuine care because she wouldn't bother asking otherwise, not even to be nice.

Y/n took a shuddering breath and pulled away, Jennie's hands were still on her waist and Y/n held onto the woman's shoulders. Her one hand let go and she used her sleeve to gently wipe at the tears, the tip of her nose red, the tears stinging her eyes, leaving the colour of her eyes more prominent and filled with red.

Seeing that Y/n was still falling apart Jennie decided to start guiding her towards the car while thinking about what she was supposed to do next. It made a slight panic shoot through her because she didn't want to make it worse, but at the same time, she knew that she would possibly make it all worse. She had already ruined most of Y/n's life, hadn't she? 

The easiest thing to do was to stop dwelling on things she wasn't able to change and just leave everything to burn once it caught a fire no matter how small it was and how easy it would be to put out and save from disaster. Instead, she let disaster unfold. 

She opened the door for the younger girl, letting her get inside before gently closing the door. There was nothing casual about this anymore, but that had been the point all along. To have Y/n depend on her, but it was never a plan to feel any responsibility for it. It wasn't planned to be there once she did start depending on her. 

There was a brief silence when Jennie got into her seat, watching how Y/n was picking with her fingers. Jennie tried to figure out what it could be, but she couldn't know so she waited. Her patience wasn't running thin with the girl this time and she at last pushed up the shades to the top of her head. The more she thought about it the more she realised how Y/n had faded into her, she had watched the entire time the way Y/n changed, how her wings got cut off and how she was becoming a version of Jennie.

It was the ugly truth and Jennie didn't like the mirror.

That could be the reason why she tried so hard to shatter the mirror. 

"I got fired," Y/n mumbled, taking in a deep breath right after she let those words out. It crashed right on top of her at full speed, it destroyed everything, but it could have destroyed it and turned the ruins into ashes. She bit her lower lip, trying to tell herself that it could have been worse because it could couldn't it?

Jennie glanced over at the art gallery where she now got to learn Y/n worked at; used to work.

"Isn't that their loss though? I know it sucks, but you will be able to find something new."

Y/n let out a breathless chuckle and leaned her head back against the seat, her eyes staring at the roof of the car. The tears didn't want to well up anymore because there was nothing to cry about when it was all her fault in the end. Being fired wasn't the biggest problem, Jennie was right, although, there was a bigger problem to it all. The biggest problem was why she got fired as it made her realise at what type of bottom she truly was.

"You know–" Y/n started as she gently patted away the wetness from her eyes and pushed herself up to look at Jennie. It felt like she was looking into a mirror that showed her just how truly pathetic she was, but also showed her that she would suffer different consequences compared to someone as superior as Jennie. Y/n should have known her place. "They found a bag of coke in the staff room, on the floor so someone must've dropped it while walking in and out." The girl started, each word only making her realise how pathetic she was. Each word made her want to take the leap and jump off the edge to fall to an even more pathetic death.

"They drug tested everyone, and I mean every single person that works there to find out who brought drugs to work–" Y/n scoffed, her lips parted as she poked at the corner of her lips with her tongue. Jennie frowned and watched the way life drained from Y/n's eyes and maybe the girl was as partially numb as she was in the end. It was different to watch someone die first-hand and not do anything to stop it but only speed up the process.

"Out of everyone only I tested positive and got fired because it was my bag that I had been looking for the entire day yesterday, I was fucking shaking while looking for it." Her eyes left Jennie, there was no solace in the eyes that ruined her. The older one tried to reach for Y/n's hand to offer her comfort, to ease it and make her realise that she could make it better, but Y/n didn't let her.

"The worst part is that I wasn't shaking because I was nervous about testing positive, I was shaking because I didn't have coke." The vixen couldn't believe her own words, they made her want to sob as she each day realised how lost she was in this life that she entered with Jennie's help. Somehow she still refused to do anything about it because it felt hopeless and the only thing that helped with hopelessness were drugs and she ended up being in this violent loop that consisted of drugs, parties, alcohol, and of course, Jennie.

"Y/n–" Jennie tried, she wanted to stop Y/n before she realised how ugly it truly was getting. That was how she went through it, she avoided these mirrors of confrontation and loss, it worked, it truly did, but Y/n hadn't faded into her completely. In a sense, Y/n was much stronger than Jennie and didn't succumb to these desires. She tried to put up a fight even if she lost them every time, it didn't stop her from trying and that was how she and Jennie were different.

"Do you see how fucking pathetic that is? To be more worried about not being able to re-dose than losing your job and possibly getting into legal trouble."

"Did you get into legal trouble?"

"No, I got pitied, I got recommended to go to rehab, and I got fired with a promise of not mentioning it if anyone called for a recommendation because of how good of a worker I used to be..." Y/n trailed off, a bitter taste in her mouth, but one that wasn't the coke she had sniffed right before the meeting with her boss. Different chemicals were swirling in her, not just the coke, ones that were produced by herself and she wanted to stop the flow of her blood so she wouldn't have to go through it.

"It's humiliating, to get pitied and judged for your own choices." It wasn't as if she didn't know what she was doing. Y/n just didn't know how to stop it. 

These were things she couldn't go and cry to Asher about, he would never look at her the same, he would judge or try to give rational solutions to her irrational problems. Jennie was different, Jennie gave solutions that caused more problems, but she also got rid of other problems without letting them bother Y/n in the meantime.

Although, somewhere deep within her, she knew that she had had enough, but didn't know how to draw the line and run back to where it started to start all over again and avoid the same mistakes.

"I know, I do–they don't know your reasons," Jennie understood Y/n, she knew where she was coming from. She reached over to Y/n this time, her hand finding its way behind the girl's neck who was biting on her lower lip as the tears were right back and weren't giving her a break. "They don't know you as I do, you can trust me Y/n, you can trust me to never judge you." Those addictive words spilled from between her lips, those words that were as alluring as diamonds and pearls, words that were worth more. Nothing was worth as much as knowing that she wouldn't be judged no matter how terrible it was.

She guided Y/n back into her arms, letting the girl cry on her shoulder, knowing that the tears she cried weren't just about this. Jennie could feel that Y/n was crying about everything in her life that had changed and acceptance of change had always been important. There was just a certain change that wasn't supposed to be accepted. The change was worse than better, but Jennie could make the bad look good.

Her fingers ran to the back of Y/n's head, giving her the comfort she allowed her to give and the girl hadn't openly broken down this way in front of her unless it was because Jennie had made her break down. She always did, she always built her up only to shatter the pieces and glue them back together. 

For how long was kintsugi possible?

This time Y/n broke down willingly and without Jennie's force. 

Her cheek rested against the side of Y/n's head as she stared off into the distance, drowning out the small cries to not feel more than she had. She could still only love Y/n for the night and that was it, this wasn't more than roleplay, that was what it was supposed to be. Yet Jennie's words left her genuinely and she hated it, but she was sure that Y/n was aware that no one like Jennie would ever show up for her.

There was only one of her.

No one else would ever be able to replace her. 

It was another reminder for Y/n that there would never be another Jennie, that she would be the only one to not judge her and at the same time love her for the night.

She licked her lips and cupped Y/n's cheek, her palm gently stroking along the side of Y/n's neck as she pulled her away.

The younger one felt weak, it was draining and the tears didn't make her feel lighter. The burden was too heavy and she knew that the second Jennie left she would be back to carrying it all alone again and that was yet another burden she carried. It left her dependent on Jennie, it made her not want to leave the older's side and just thinking about it made her heavy. 

They locked eyes and Jennie tilted her head. She tried her best to think what would work for the girl. She had never cared enough to do these things for someone because other people were never her problem. Y/n wasn't either, but she was someone she wanted to help out. At first, she leaned in but stopped halfway, her lips tingled to kiss the girl, but her brain was in too much turmoil.

Those lips that were swollen from crying, her teary and red eyes, Y/n looked once again as appealing as she always did, but she looked too pretty for her good when crying. The resemblance of a broken doll made Jennie yearn as she loved putting together the broken, to give it hope, only to destroy it after and then put it back together and create a dependence. An addiction that destroyed one of them. 

It gave her a sense of power and control she knew deep down she no longer had over her own life, at least she could have it over someone else's.

"Do you want to do something to take your mind off of it?" Jennie offered in the end, holding back from kissing the sweet misery off of Y/n's lips.

Y/n knew what that meant, but she had none of the energy left in her because her body had been robbed of its soul and she felt like a walking corpse.

"Jennie, I just want to go home, but can't–"

Jennie wasn't going to let her leave either way.

"How about—I have an apartment like ten minutes away, do you want to spend the night?"

The ride was silent, Y/n tried to comprehend anything that was going on in her life, but chaos was too hard to understand, let alone control. Jennie's hand rested on her inner thigh, fingers tapped against her skin and she'd give small squeezes as she drove. The two ignored how they were both growing mould and were toxic to each other, but kept breathing it right in without stopping.

It was a different routine this time, Y/n had never been to any of Jennie's places, but she knew she had a few apartments, mansions, and whatnot. She had no clue which one was home. This one was on the top floor of the complex as they took the elevator up. The vixen had pretended that she didn't see Jennie sniffing coke on their way up, it always made her stomach flip nervously because the woman's every excuse was the fact that she was under the influence. She was more scared of the fact that she believed it. 

Y/n didn't have the energy to flinch at these blind punches that would be mere inches away from her. She didn't have the energy to dissociate because Jennie's voice got too loud and the words too harsh. All she wanted was the other Jennie, the one she stayed for. It made her refrain from taking anything herself because it stirred things further. The girl embraced the trembling of her fingers and the itch that came with the need for drugs.

"Do you want to change?" Jennie questioned as they stepped into the apartment. The exterior was light, the floors polished, shining under the strong light that spread through the downstairs area that consisted of an open living room and kitchen, stairs that led upstairs, high ceiling windows stretched along the walls. It was relatively big, but not too big, and modern.

The woman removed her sneakers and turned to Y/n who was holding onto the wall with one hand while undoing her shoes. "Here..." Jennie trailed off and Y/n raised an eyebrow when the woman kneeled, grabbing her shin and placing her foot on her thigh.

"What's with the treatment, I'm not in the mood for exchanges." Y/n's fragile voice mumbled, a faint rasp behind it from the tears and the lump that was still somewhat present.

Jennie looked up at her as she removed the first one and put the other on her thigh. "Do you only see me as a horrible person?" She genuinely questioned, poking at her inner cheek while undoing the dollete shoe. The woman was aware of what she was, but she knew that she had been more when it came to Y/n. Yes, most of the time she only held Y/n close and took care of the girl when she herself was under the influence of Ecstacy because it let those forbidden walls down. However, there were times when she wanted to try and did, but in her way.

She wished she knew how to express herself in another way that wasn't the usual harsh way or the occasional soft way, but she had no clue how. It did work with Y/n at times to let it open because the vixen cared so little about status and power that it made it easier to let certain doors go.

"I'm quite sure I'm one of the few who sees you for more than that."

Jennie nodded at the foreign words, knowing that she was at some point going to throw all of it away and it wasn't her home to begin with. She slid the shoe off, her palm soothing over Y/n's ankle before she let the girl remove her foot.

"The bedroom's upstairs." She breathed out as she stood up and stepped aside, gesturing for Y/n to walk ahead.

"What's this place for?" Y/n questioned, being able to feel the emptiness of the place as a coldness lingered in the air with a scent that lingered with a lack of presence. She could tell that Jennie never spent her time here, she was quite sure that Jennie didn't spend too much time at home in general since she travelled a lot. At the back of her head, she had a clue what the place was used for, especially since it was conveniently close to Hollywood with some of Jennie's favourite clubs.

"For convenience...I let–close people stay here when they fly in and at times I sleep here to not drive from the hills."

Y/n rolled her eyes at the words that sounded unsure for a split second as Jennie trailed off. It had become easier to figure out when Jennie was lying, she had made it such a habit that it was seethrough–most of the time. Certain lies Y/n chose to believe because she wanted them to be true. If she believed that they were true it meant that she could stay even if they never were true.

Jennie promised she would never hurt and she kept it even if she scared her whenever she raised her hand. She had promised not to lay a finger on her, and she had kept that because she could hit her, she could beat her to a pulp, but she didn't. 

She had learnt that Jennie's promises were always somewhat broken, but she kept parts of them and it worked.

"Do they usually leave in the morning?"

Jennie scoffed almost soundlessly at Y/n's words and their implication.

"Don't start things that make you cry."

"I'm not," Y/n quipped as she walked along the polished white wooden floors and made it to the stairs. "Why would I cry if I have someone waiting for me at home?" There was only one reason why Y/n said the words she did to Jennie. The reason was; to make it sting because Jennie made it sting by not having one girl, but multiple girls' waiting for her. Y/n was just another one who came over and somewhere outside her heart, Asher was still present, reminding her that she shouldn't care, that she shouldn't be here, to begin with. 

That she shouldn't be another girl for someone at all, that she was someone's only girl–which wasn't true.

Or maybe that was the point; she was at least one of her girls when she could've been none.

Y/n winced, hissing at the pain of Jennie's palm landing against her ass. "Stop, asshole." She exclaimed, taking two quick steps to get away from Jennie.

"Make me." Jennie challenged, coming up right behind Y/n again as her palm landed against the other cheek. It was enough to make Y/n whine at the pain with a few more quick steps before she turned around to stop the woman from doing more.

"I will shove you down the stairs." She stopped Jennie, her sheer-covered foot gently planted itself against Jennie's chest to hold her back. The woman gripped onto Y/n's calve, hands wrapping around her slim leg as she looked up at the girl with a small smile.

"You will come down right with me." There was no need for Jennie to get pissed, not this time, not when she knew that she could make Y/n forget about the person waiting for her at home. She could instead become what Y/n yearned for when she was at home. Jennie knew that she occupied Y/n's mind whether or not the younger girl realised it. All the little things she looked at made her think of Jennie in one way or another, the woman was sure of it, or else Y/n wouldn't have called.

"Does death make you all smiley?" Y/n questioned and tried to remove her foot only for Jennie's grip to not loosen, making the woman give the vixen a haughty smile.

"Yeah, scary to think that it does and now I can just drag you down with me." Jennie teased, giving Y/n a gentle tug and the girl gripped the railing with both hands.

"I will punch you, Jennie, let go." She seriously said, but that serious facade was breaking down because Jennie's annoying demeanour was enough to make Y/n let out a whiny giggle. It was what ecstasy felt like, it was so close to the feeling of the drug that she had taken so many times now. Too many times; it was hard to feel any serotonin course through her at all. Although a lightness washed over her.

"You barely know how to punch, go ahead." Jennie let go with one hand, making Y/n try to remove her leg again to no avail. The woman reached her hand out, holding her palm open for Y/n to punch. The vixen's siren-like eyes landed on Jennie who gave her a nod of affirmation.

Jennie snorted at the fist that landed against her palm and Y/n frowned at how little it did when she punched. She removed Y/n's foot from her chest, hand running up and along the girl's thigh as she stepped up until she was on the same step as Y/n. "You're too cute," she mumbled with a breathless chuckle as she made Y/n wrap her leg around her waist. Jennie trapped her against the railing, holding onto Y/n's thigh and the railing behind her.

"It's cute now?" Y/n asked, her fingers tangled in Jennie's tee, the woman taking a step closer and pressing their bodies into the puddle of waste that they were. It stung, it mixed, it created one whole, one that worked out for just the two of them and no one else. It was a toxic waste, it wasn't breathable for anyone except them because their skin had built resistance after being destroyed throughout these months. 

They had become ghouls of their love.

"Today." She concluded and tilted her head to the side before leaning in and at last, pressing her lips against Y/n's. It started slow before their lips parted to meet with their tongues and get tangled up together. However, that choking, overflowing feeling in Y/n's chest of overwhelming emotions couldn't be distracted for too long. Her job, the drugs, her health, her life, Jennie, Asher, this apartment. 

It was all bothering her.

"Jen..." Y/n trailed off, pulling away and making Jennie take a small step back. The woman hummed, letting Y/n go who pushed herself up from the railing with a heaving breath. "I'm not in the mood." It was so much, the depressed state she had been in for so long made it hard to enjoy anything. Jennie's presence made it easier, the drugs too, but her wish for today seemed to be death and not even drugs could help with that unless it was to overdose and make the wish come true.

Y/n wanted comfort, but she was afraid that Jennie was the wrong person to come to and look for comfort. Asher would give it to her, but she hadn't been able to accept his embrace the way she used to. She felt too guilty accepting love from someone she didn't deserve, to take the care he gave her for granted, knowing that he didn't know that she found so much more in someone else even if it was bad for her and he wasn't.

Jennie licked her lips, thinking about what Y/n said. They had never met before while not being in the mood. It always came with sex. It was a break in the routine. It made Jennie nervous. Although, today maybe was the day where she didn't need to be a reminder to Y/n, where she didn't need to remind her of who she was because Y/n knew. The vixen knew what place Jennie held in her life because she called for her.

"Let's change, I will order food, and I have weed to last for weeks." Y/n let out a breathless chuckle of some sort of relief, contentment, and disbelief at the foreigner who grabbed hold of her hand. She hated it as Jennie intertwined their fingers, it made her nose prickle and she knew how close she was to the fall that would make her fly through the core of the earth. The one that would break her completely. 

There would be nothing to pick up, to fix, and then destroy because it would all be dust and there would be nothing left of Y/n.

She wasn't supposed to see these sides of someone who wasn't good, but she always tried to see the good in the bad. To see potential for improvement was harder than letting go, and Y/n was stubborn. There were so many sides to Jennie, Y/n thought she had seen them all, but this was yet another one and it made her feel more bitter than sweet, it made her insides twist at how sour it was. It was worse than the bad.

Jennie was the poison, but Jennie was also the cure, and Jennie killed her, and Jennie brought her right back to life.

"I rather you change here," Jennie called out as she sat leaning against the headboard of the bed. Her fingers were busy rolling this time a blunt instead of a joint, the thick brown leaf getting filled by the potent flower that she had grinded. 

She snivelled, her nose runny, permanently from injuries caused by herself. The itch on her skin burned, knowing that soon enough she would find herself in the bathroom, in too much shame to take a line in front of Y/n who wasn't snorting the powder that was Jennie's lifeline.

Each of these things she tried to ignore because she would dwell in regret and shame.

Y/n walked out of the walk-in closet while sighing, leg warmers already off and the patterned sheer tights too. It made Jennie hum, fixing the tray on her lap as she gathered the rest of the ground bud from it and packed it into the leaf, her eyes on Y/n who threw the shirt and sweat shorts onto the bed.

"Don't you have rolling paper?" She asked, pulling the knitted tight sweater over her head that had two small white ribbons on the sleeves.

"What's wrong with blunt wraps?"

"You have to slobber over them like a rabid dog for them to stick." Jennie chuckled, eyes trained on Y/n's chest who undid the black push-up bra. It fell off her shoulders, revealing those perky small breasts that Jennie loved so much. She shifted in her place, hand momentarily coming down to adjust herself because Y/n made it hard to resist and now it felt even weirder knowing that she would have to hold back on getting her dick wet.

The dynamic no longer made sense, it was corrupted, it was peaceful and that created chaos on the inside of both of them.

"I will dry it with the lighter, star," Jennie reassured the girl, eyes falling on the ribs that had gotten more prominent than when she first met Y/n when the vixen pulled the shirt over her head. Stretching her lithe body. It made her release a breath and look down at the blunt she was rolling to ignore the slight and tiny pull on her crumbling cold. She looked back up at Y/n who slid out of the skirt, a matching pair of black underwear and she pulled on the black material shorts along her slim and long legs that were glowing.

"You look good in my clothes."

"I look good in everything." Y/n corrected and climbed onto the bed, crawling over to Jennie who finished wrapping up the blunt. The vixen put the tray aside on the bedside table, throwing her phone to the side as it bounced on the bed.

"The best in your birthday suit." Y/n scoffed at the words and laid down between Jennie's legs, leaning against the woman's chest, her head resting by her shoulder.

Time ran, but it felt slow in a good way, Y/n didn't want it to speed up as they smoked, not wanting it to near tomorrow and the worries she would have to face. The vixen wanted to continue running from her problems for as long as possible while dragging the source of her problems along with her, hoping she would outrun them. With Jennie there with her, they would only continue coming in, piling up, until a tsunami of problems would drown her once she got tired of running.

The food tasted like food for the first time in ages in her mouth, but maybe that was the weed all while Jennie insisted on feeding her. It was a feeling of paying back, it felt like Jennie was running these miles so Y/n could rest for a while, carrying her on her back as she ran for the girl from those problems even if she was the reason behind most of them.

It only mended a part of the cold in Jennie, but it kept melting.

Y/n fell asleep right in her arms without a warning and at times she wondered what it would be like if she decided to die in her arms. She already had died in Jennie's arms, in front of her eyes, the woman had watched a soul crumble and be left torn and patched up with tar that only made it ugly.

She half sat, half laid, Y/n's head on her stomach as the younger lay curled up next to her. There was only so much she knew how to do right and soon it would all fall apart again. It wasn't a dread, it wasn't a guess, it was something she knew. Her fingers threaded through the girl's hair, brushing it away from her face that was too pretty not to admire before running it under Y/n's shirt. Her fingers gently traced patterns along the waist and back as the girl slowly and deeply inhaled and exhaled.

The billionaire couldn't sleep, the coke was keeping her awake as she had inhaled more the second Y/n fell asleep. It was hard to tell what brought her comfort if it was Y/n or the drugs. It mixed up in her mind, it left her confused, so she did both to not have to risk losing a high in case it wasn't Y/n. Y/n was as much of a drug as any other substance. 

The room was still dim with smoke as Jennie continued to smoke alone, wanting to smoke until her brain was dissociating, but that was impossible because of her high tolerance. It felt good when it felt like her brain was melting because it let her sleep through the night.

The buzzing disrupted her, Jennie's eyes quickly darted away from Y/n and to the vixen's phone which had an incoming call. It made her pull her hand from under the shirt and reach over to take it, that green branch smacked right against her chest at the caller. She stared until he stopped calling, glancing down at Y/n who was asleep. The smoke thickly trailed into the air and hugged the ceiling when she exhaled the cloud. 

There was no need for him to call when she was there for Y/n when Y/n was sleeping and not thinking about him. The second it started to buzz again, Jennie completely powered the phone off before tossing it onto the floor as it landed on one of the pillows discarded there.

"Where's my phone?" Y/n asked when she woke up, still rubbing at her eyes as she wanted to check the time. The natural light of the daylight had turned into the light of the moon, but somewhere along the lines, it was still the sun shining because without the sun the moon wouldn't shine. Jennie shrugged, knowing that the phone was on the floor under a pile of her clothes and pillows after she had gotten up to change into boxer shorts and a new tee.

"What do you need?" She asked, leaning back against the headboard. Her eyes watched Y/n's every movement and the girl looked over her shoulder to meet Jennie's gaze. It made her blink her eyes to clear her vision that was a blur, still high despite sleeping.

"Time–" Y/n started and moved around until she faced Jennie, sitting back on her heels. 

Jennie took her phone that was on the nightstand and turned it on, showing the screen to Y/n. 10:16 P.M.

"I need my phone to text Asher." She mumbled, knowing that he would be worried. Y/n knew that he already was since she should be back home by now. She ended work at 7 P.M. and had yet to show up or even text. It was enough that she was breaking all promises she had ever made to him–it made her realise that Jennie was exactly what she deserved. Someone who would break each promise the way Y/n did.

The minx moved, her movement languid, somewhere between conscious and unconscious just like she always ended up when she was with Jennie. Whether it was substance or her brain dissociating because of how Jennie could get.

"You don't need it," Jennie stated and grabbed hold of Y/n's forearm when the girl was about to climb over her to look for her phone.

"I do though." Y/n dragged out her words, tired and whiny, trying to go against Jennie and still climb over her.

That was enough for Jennie to force her back, shoving Y/n down onto the mattress. Despite its softness, it was harsh enough to make a squeak fly from between Y/n's lips. She bunched up Y/n's shirt, staring down at the girl with her head tilted to look at her better as she was still sitting by the headboard.

"I feel like you intentionally keep forgetting what I told you, Y/n–you're with me and do not need your phone. You listen to me or I won't show up for you next time and then you can go and cry to your boyfriend about being fired for being an addict."

Somehow Jennie knew exactly what to say and Y/n tried to trail back to where she took the wrong turn. She never did take it, Jennie forced her to take it, and the woman forced her walls down. Where the older's fist was pressing down against her chest, Y/n held onto Jennie's forearm, the woman was ready for Y/n to try and fight back like she always did. The pressure grew on her chest, not because of Jennie, but because of the words that started to fall against her body like heavy bricks. They were crushing each bone in her, tearing her skin apart, leaving her to die under a pile of bricks.

It somehow wasn't as satisfying as Y/n fighting back when the girl just let go of her arm. She had taken notice of how much easier Y/n started to give up at times, how she succumbed and didn't put up a fight. The girl was like a marionette who didn't try to come to life anymore but stayed under the control of the puppet master.

She was too tired for it today, her life was already torn and the last thing she wanted was for the only bridge left to burn. Y/n couldn't afford to make Jennie angry today even if it meant lowering her pride for the woman. 

Her docile eyes which were starry and glistening like spotless windows looked up at Jennie. "Please? I will just send a quick text saying I'm at a friend's." These were things Y/n would never ask for permission for, but here she was, too scared not to ask for Jennie's permission. There was that faint rumbling fear, it was like an incoming storm. It wasn't there yet, but she could feel it approaching. The clouds turned darker, the wind got colder and harsher, the leaves rustled louder, the air turned heavy, and everyone was seeking shelter, but the storm wasn't there yet.

Jennie's eyes moved along Y/n's face and eyes, reading her and looking for solutions in the eyes that were filled with problems. She had no real solutions for Y/n, not ones that went by the book. "You have two minutes once you pick up your phone–" Jennie let go of the girl who sat up. "It's on the floor." She huffed and leaned back against the headboard, watching Y/n's frail-looking body get off the bed and push the clothes aside until there was a small clatter and she picked up her phone.

The woman reached over to Y/n and grabbed the girl's tee who was focused on the phone that was turning on. The time was ticking as Jennie had checked before pulling Y/n who blindly followed until she was in Jennie's lap, straddling the woman while quickly trying to navigate through her phone and send the texts which was difficult with Jennie's hands groping at her body and lips finding its way to her neck.

Just as she sent the lie to her boyfriend her phone got yanked out of her hold and it landed back on the floor. The woman made Y/n feel disrespected, but she had grown used to it, knowing that there was a disregard for her feelings as long as she didn't listen to Jennie.

"Jen–" She tried to push her away, still sleepy and all she wanted was to go back to sleep to forget everything. The woman grabbed hold of Y/n's hands, stopping her from pushing away and she continued to kiss along her neck.

"Just a quick one, baby, you don't have to do much." She mumbled against Y/n's neck before pulling away and guiding Y/n's hands to hold her shoulders. "I will make you feel better." The woman reassured her and ignored those tired eyes as she kissed Y/n who kissed her back. Their tongues met, Jennie, swallowing the vixen's mouth as her hands gripped onto the girl's ass, helping her move against her growing erection.

And there it was, that feeling; she felt like she was paying with her body once again for all the things that Jennie did for her today.

Jennie liked the normal routine and sex was all that it was, wasn't it?

That should be reassurance for Y/n yet it wasn't.

The sea swallowed Y/n who always gave in by the end of the day, letting the high tide drag her with it. Her hand ran between them as Jennie continued to move her tongue against Y/n's, their bodies moulding and building a house that would never be a home. She snaked her hand under the waistband of the silk boxers, her own body reacting to Jennie's touch, it wasn't electrifying, that wouldn't be good enough and they deserved better than that. It burned, it melted, and it left an ugly mess.

Her hand wrapped around the cock that was growing harder, warm in her hand as she slowly started to stroke it. Jennie groaned into the kiss, pulling her mouth away from Y/n with her hands running under the shirt and up her waist. Her lips; were cyanide, scarring the tissue of Y/n's flawless skin; turning its flawless beauty into flaws that she loved so much more.

The heat in their bodies grew, Y/n's hand worked on Jennie's cock while the woman found the supple pair of breasts. The grip was somewhere between harsh and tender as the vixen had learned to find tenderness in Jennie's callous behaviour. Those warm and familiar hands groped at her chest, feeling each inch, fingers tugging at her nipples while lips continued to paint her neck in desperate kisses and fanning breaths.

"Remove your bottoms, Y/n." Jennie rasped, her voice dropping to the lust-filled desire to devour Y/n's body whether with grace or sin, there would always be a middle for her. In the end, she found herself in a home she did not belong in and she would always find a way to break right into Y/n.

The girl listened, getting off of Jennie who pulled the boxers down, taking out her leaking cock as she worked her hand along it while watching the girl slip out of the black shorts and underwear. 

Was there an ounce of passion? Jennie surely had a passion for destroying the perfect. There was something more beautiful about things that were ruined after they had once been beautiful. The story was deeper, it left people more curious, everyone wanted to know the reason behind it and only Jennie would know it.

The vixen discarded the bottoms to the side and crawled back into Jennie's lap who pushed up the shirt to have a clear look of the girl's heat that made her dick throb. "So pretty' can't get enough of any part of you." She mumbled, her hand coming down to run through Y/n's fold while burying her face back into the girl's neck. The touch and kisses that she spiked through her skin across her neck were like needles, but they released all the pressure in Y/n instead of hurting her.

Jennie was the predator, she was the bear, and Y/n was the deer, Jennie ripped the flesh off Y/n's neck, devoured it, and licked with utter passion to soothe it and her hunger. 

It made the girl hum at the fingers that ran through her slit, spreading her folds and gathering the slick. Each stroke and touch brushed away the worries of tomorrow, and the sorrows of today, and painted a temporary paradise where sin was forgiven until the paint washed away and they would have to face the consequences of their actions.

"Condom." Y/n pulled away when Jennie's fingers disappeared from her heat that made sounds elicit from her lips. She had pulled her in only to get stopped, not being able to paint all those worries and sorrows away because Y/n would always stay at least with one foot in reality.

Jennie heaved a sigh, poking at the inside of her cheek as she pulled away and pulled open the bedside drawer. Y/n's lips gently traced along her ear, kissing down her cheek and jaw while the woman finally stumbled upon the wrapper. With the vixen in the way she used her teeth to rip it open, her cock resting heavily against her abdomen while drowning in the much more serene kisses that Y/n left on her sinfully flawed skin. It was burning Jennie, it was solace somewhere along the way up from hell and it felt so wrongfully right that it made her see how unfair it was even if it shouldn't be. Those kisses made her skin flawless while hers left flaws. 

Her hand gripped the back of Y/n's head, fingers tangled in the silky waves whose scent was as sentimental as the sky at dawn. Nothing felt right and Jennie continued as she pushed Y/n closer to drown in more denial, knowing that she would be the eclipse of Y/n's sun.

The vixen's hand ran up to Jennie's grabbing the condom from her all while her lips continued to shower the depraved of care skin. It was crackling, that little warmth in Jennie who wrapped her arms around the girl's waist after she slid the condom on. It was so blinding that Jennie didn't grasp the fact that she had no control at the moment and that there were certain things she would never be able to have control over. Those things ruined lives and also built them with meaning which Jennie knew she had none.

Y/n's arms circled Jennie's shoulders after guiding the tip to her entrance and slowly sinking. It came with moans, whimpers, Jennie burying her teeth into the girls shoulder to try and save her own dignity as she hadn't needed to do it before. The picture of her felt like it would be ruined, but there was nothing she could do about the way Y/n slowly moved and slowly scraped away the tar that was blocking anything from coming inside.

Jennie wished that she was less sober at the moment.

The girl on top of her moved her hips, up and down, gyrating, the heat built up quickly despite the languid movements. Y/n pulled back, her hands cupping under Jennie's jaw, making her look up and let go of that dignity before their lips met. It stung, the stretch always did, but she made space for Jennie despite the pain it caused. The sounds were lewd, their moans breathy, muffled, swallowed by each other and spat back out.

The woman bunched the shirt that belonged to her in her fists, Y/n wearing it and infecting it with her scent just like she had done with her sheets. That brush moved and painted, but maybe this time it did more so for Jennie than Y/n, but the woman couldn't know because she was too far in the deep sea of the suppressed things even drugs hadn't been able to bring out.

There it was; Y/n was the thing that brought her to a high and not the substances that she took.

The vixen picked up her speed, their parted lips only brushing as their eyes closed, reeling each other in at the bottom of the ocean, not bringing each other up to the surface but finding the peace in drowning. They found pleasure in the burning that their lungs did each time they inhaled the cold and salty water, welcoming it inside to kill them. Jennie felt it build up, the pressure of being so deep; deep within Y/n and it was enough for Y/n to snap from the reel.

Y/n moaned, her nails digging into Jennie's flesh that felt less tainted for a moment as her body trembled in the woman's hold. For a moment Y/n felt good, she felt like there was a way to get to heaven, but she knew that once she would float back up all her bad would be present again. The girl could barely catch the sounds, but they pushed through as Jennie let out a guttural moan, releasing her to float back up to the surface.

They both panted for air as Jennie helped Y/n off of her. She removed the condom, discarding it to the floor for the time being. The vixen exhaled through her nose, running her fingers through her hair as she bit her lower lip and stared at the flat screen that was black, merely reflecting them as it hung on the wall across from the bed.

The woman felt like she was in a daze as she slumped down in the momentary silence that left her thoughts too loud. All she did was wait for Y/n to drown out those thoughts with her voice while she buried herself in the sheets with the minx beside her. 

"When was the last time you were sober?" The question left her lips before she processed it and she barely had the guts to look over at Jennie at the moment. Her body still felt warm in the cold presence. She couldn't help but wonder when the last time the woman was sober was. This was one of the few times where Jennie wasn't fucked over by drugs. It let Y/n think of the possibility that there was potential for improvement in Jennie since the illicit substances were what controlled the woman's life and not the other way around.

"I don't know."

It was as if she threw the words at her and then left with how indifferent they were. Y/n at last looked at Jennie who lay on the bed on her stomach, hugging the pillow while resting her head on it. The older one looked up through her lashes, meeting Y/n's eyes that were faintly bloodshot from the flower. 

"Even for a day." Y/n prompted, wanting to know the last time she was without anything at all even if it wasn't for a longer period. She moved down, making Jennie shift to let the girl come closer who laid down with her cheek resting against the latters back. Y/n's fingers gently traced along Jennie's shoulders who hummed as she closed her eyes.

"Like—" She started, thinking hard, thinking back to what it used to be, but she couldn't remember what her life used to be. Perhaps she didn't want to remember what it was like because it felt like it was worse before Y/n appeared. She had a feeling that Y/n would be her verdict, her death sentence. Along the way she helped Y/n climb the ladder of problems, addictions, and despair while slowly climbing down hers to catch the time she had wasted and make up for it with Y/n. "2 years ago." Was the last time she could remember that it wasn't as bad as it was now.

"Don't you want to quit?" The girl mumbled, her cheek pressed against Jennie's upper back, her fingers still running over the skin that radiated its warmth through the tee she had on. Her hand got grabbed by Jennie's, still playing that dangerous game of hating what felt good when their fingers tangled and Jennie soothed her thumb over Y/n's slender fingers.

"Why would I? There's no good reason for me to quit." 

Y/n could hear the forced indifference in those words. Perhaps Jennie was trying to convince herself that she did have control over her life and that it wasn't the drugs that had it.

"Your life?"

The woman opened her eyes and looked at the hand she was holding near her face. An invincible string pulled them closer and it would always be prone to snapping out of unfortunate timing for both of them.

"You only live once."

Y/n was genuinely curious, lost in a burning forest and she couldn't figure out if she wanted to lose someone to drugs or lose herself even more to drugs. "You only love once too. Do you want to lose someone you love by choosing drugs over them?" Her voice fell lighter, close to a whisper as she could drown once again and fall asleep right where she was. Her skin caressed, their legs tangled, and the mistakes buried in a temporary grave because they would come back to life to shine their misery on them.

"That's why I don't stop. A person I love can leave, drugs won't. Drugs will be there even when I'm dying because of them, even when I did wrong, they won't leave and will stay."

"At least you got to say that you truly loved even if they leave." 

Was it their age? Was that the problem? Was Y/n trying to live in a dream even if it had turned into a nightmare? She was shooting at stars in the daylight with these words that would be ridiculous to Jennie. 

"I don't care about love or anyone. Drugs and money are good enough." Jennie's voice turned into a slight rasp, weaker by the second as she wanted to end this night with Y/n even if they would wake up and part ways in the morning and not see each other again for a few days or a week. 

"That's not how it works." Y/n was able to read through these lies, they made no sense. 

"What do you know?" She briefly tilted her head and Y/n lifted hers, meeting Jennie's glossed-over eyes. It was from the weed. Y/n used her free hand and brushed away the stray strands of hair that fell over Jennie's eyes and cheek before she leaned down. Her lips ghosted over the warm skin and she pecked by the woman's ear before she spoke. 

"A truly selfish person wouldn't admit to being selfish because it would destroy the purpose and they wouldn't be able to be selfish if people around them knew. You're not selfish, but scared of whatever that it is."

"Don't tell me what I am, Y/n. You don't know me."

"That means that you don't know me either." Jennie scoffed and laid her head back down, closing her eyes to brace herself for sleep and forget this conversation by tomorrow if she could. 

"I don't care, I don't want to know you for more than I do." She couldn't help but to think about it because she wanted to know Y/n better than anyone else and was sure that she did. The doubt grew though with Y/n's words because maybe Jennie had deluded herself into thinking that she did when she in fact never had known her better than the rest. It irked her to think that someone like Asher knew the girl better. She knew Y/n for the real person that she was. There was no way that anyone else did. 

At least she got to sleep with the girl right there beside her. 

[Present]

"I need you four to step aside now."

"Great," Y/n groaned as she and the three other girls were told to get out of the line they had been standing in for a good 20 minutes now.

"Listen, it's not mine or Leilani's fault that the edibles kicked in now and they think it's something else," Lisa whined through her giggles to the two other girls who looked frustrated over the time they had wasted.

"As if there aren't people doing lines in their bathroom right now," Alexis complained and threw useless glares towards the bouncer who was letting other people in. 

Y/n stepped aside from the three girls and reached for her phone from the small purse she had. The wind was warm against her skin, dressed in a cropped halter top that was black, a leather jacket, and a leather mini skirt with leather heeled boots that hugged her legs and stopped under her knees, making her a good four inches taller.

"What're you doing?" Lisa asked, Y/n flinched when the girl came up from behind her and she clutched her phone to her chest to hide the chat she had just opened. The girl hugged her from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder as she was in a similar pair of boots.

"Nothing."

"Let's try another club."

"Wait, I just have to check something first." Y/n simply replied and her friend shrugged as she pulled away and turned to the other two who were bickering.

10:45 P.M. hey, it's me <33

Y/n never let up on the offers as long as Jennie was offering and Y/n wasn't the one asking, but just accepting. She would never ask herself if she could get her into clubs, Jennie was the one who had brought it up and did so soon after they started to see each other. It wasn't hard to notice that Jennie gave into every little thing too. She looked back at the club that was always piling with people.

10:47 P.M. I feel like there are two reasons for you greeting me nicely

10:47 P.M. ok fine me and my friends aren't being let inside the usual club they took edibles that kicked in right before the entry, now they won't let us in they don't want any drugs on the property despite it being legal edibles they think it might be something else :/

10:48 P.M. Are you outside right now

10:48 P.M. yes babe

10:48 P.M. Ok, just give it a minute

10:48 P.M. thank you

10:51 P.M. I will find you later

10:51 P.M. you're here?

10:52 P.M. Usually am on the weekends if am not busy

10:52 P.M. ok

Y/n turned off her phone and looked at her friends before walking over to them. "I fixed an entry." She informed them which made all three heads turn to her, inspecting the smile that had appeared on her lips after she had walked around the whole day without an inviting expression. The resting bitch face of the girl was gone, smiling through the melting feeling of her brain and how out of touch she felt with reality. Y/n was doing her best to push aside the anxiety gnawing at her flesh, ripping it to shreds. 

Taking the ecstasy with Jennie had been a terrible idea. 

Keeping so many secrets was even worse; her job, Jennie, her life, and her health. 

There was nothing left to live for. 

"How?" Lani questioned and before Y/n could answer their attention was caught.

"You're Y/n, right?" She looked past her two friends who stood in front of her and at the blonde who she had seen once before. It was the same blonde who had handed her the water with ecstasy and she had a hard time pinpointing who she was to Jennie. It was somewhere between a manager, maybe a friend or some kind of employee. She wasn't sure if she knew about her and Jennie. 

"Yeah."

"Come on." They followed right after her, Lisa clung onto Y/n as the two walked after the two shorter girls in front of them. The woman stopped by the bouncer who was wrapping paper bands on people's wrists for entry.

"You four will get these entry passes. They are standard entry like all but with entry to the lounge area with booths plus the private bathrooms there and the bar in the lounge." She explained while showing the red wristbands where it said V.V.I.P with the club's name. The two at the front were already getting theirs put on while Y/n and Lisa waited for them to enter.

"Who the fuck did you text?" Lisa asked right by Y/n's ear.

"No one."

"Someone," Alexis commented over her shoulder and Y/n felt like punching Jennie for doing this to her.

"Who are you sucking off for the princess treatment?" The vixen rolled her eyes at the question from Lisa. It wasn't the first time and Jennie wasn't the only person. Y/n was well aware of her pretty privilege and hadn't bought a drink for herself ever since she turned 21 because everyone always paid for her and some granted her entries. 

This was quite the entry though.

"Literally no one, you know how guys just give me whatever I ask for." Lisa hummed and let go of her before stepping up to the woman who skilfully put the paper wristband on her before letting her step inside.

She sighed and walked over, holding her hand out, her wrists being covered by concealer and foundation to hide the bruises. It took a lot longer to get out on a Saturday night because of Jennie and even longer considering she had to avoid her friends seeing them. Y/n glanced up at the stare she felt to see the blonde looking over her as she placed the band around her wrist.

"Have fun." Was all she said and Y/n didn't say anything or smile as she stepped inside before getting grabbed by her friends who dragged her while asking questions she couldn't answer.

11:08 P.M. are you serious?

Jennie looked at the message she got from the girl. The electronic pop music wasn't as loud at the lounge where she sat like they usually did. It was still loud enough for it to travel through the hallway and stairs that led to the area and make the beat pound through her body and feel it in the floors. Friends and people she was acquainted with sat at the open booth with bottle girls tending to them. Many of them just wanted an entry and free drinks. She didn't care much anymore as she had her circle, but let people leech off of her to not feel too alone.

11:09 P.M. What?

11:11 P.M. i asked for an entry not reasons for my friends to ask who i am sucking off for this treatment

11:12 P.M. Should've just told them the truth since you like to take my cock so much

11:12 P.M. go kill yourself

11:12 P.M. You sure?

11:15 P.M. yes.

She put her phone down and looked past the bottle girls who weren't entertaining her at all. The table was placed for her to be able to see the whole lounge which was half-filled with different high-end guests. Celebrities to socialites. Jennie owned half of the club. She liked to feel involved, but they only ate at her like parasites. 

The drink in her hold was getting warm from how she had been only holding onto it and barely drinking. It got removed from her hold and she only glanced at her manager and manager before looking back just in time to see four girls make it up the stairs while laughing.

With her eyes on the vixen, she turned oblivious to everyone else to notice what her friend was noticing.

"She isn't someone for you, Jennie." Chaeyoung, Jennie's manager who became a friend over time interrupted the eyes that were lacing with hunger over the girl. She took the new cold drink that was handed to her, but she wasn't planning on getting drunk tonight. Three or four drinks would suffice because she wanted to drive home herself. 

"Why not?" Jennie questioned as someone like Y/n was perfect for her. The girl was someone worth showing off proudly which was why she didn't understand the girl's boyfriend or how she could settle for him. Not only was she able to get Jennie hard from just being there, but she was so much more. She was smart, funny, and sharp-witted, and she knew how to put up a fight without succumbing to every little word most of the time. She wasn't tameable but had a sharp tongue and a stubborn mind. Everything Jennie hated, but found riveting about no one else but the black cat that the girl was.

Then there were those moments where Y/n gave up and they were just as satisfying to watch. 

"She's the centre of attention, she's a supermodel. You're so busy staring like everyone else that you don't even look around to notice that everyone else wants her too." Chaeyoung said the obvious because when Jennie was busy staring and thinking she was the only one heads turned to the girl who walked alone to a booth with her friends heading over to the private bar that was in the lounge. They turned towards all the girls, but Y/n's looks and aura seemed to be the light everyone was drawn to. 

They were all moths to her flame, but Jennie knew that Y/n was a moth to her flame. 

"Why would I want something else?" Jennie ridiculed Chaeyoung as she never settled for less, this was way more than what she usually settled for though. Models came in almost all shapes and sizes, but none came the way Y/n did. Not in Jennie's eyes at least. "Imagine the looks when you enter the room with someone like her," she wanted for people to talk about more than just her money. 

People already envied her, she couldn't even imagine how envied she would be because of someone like Y/n by her side. Especially if she made her into a star first even if she wanted to keep her to herself. It would make her an even more worthy possession.

Chaeyoung scoffed and took a sip from the small plastic straw as she looked where Jennie was looking to see the girl's head over to the lonely star. Not far after a bartender with a tray filled with what looked like white tequila shots.

"You don't handle jealousy well at all. She doesn't look or seem like the type to be your bitch."

"That's not—"

"Would you let her leave the house alone if you were together?"

"I– I mean, I would, but–" Jennie loved the way the girl dressed, it was a turn-on, and she loved that people looked her way too. It was all part of it. Y/n knew she was hot, Jennie knew that people looked, and it let her know how much Y/n was worth. What she didn't like was the way people looked like she was for the taking, how they tried to touch, what their bodies felt, what they would say to each other if not cat call or walk up, the sneaky pictures and touches that would be by "accident".

Jennie knew because Jennie did some of these things herself. She used to have a semi everywhere she went and had one right now after she spotted Y/n among all the other women at the club. She had already thought of ways to fuck her. She had already drooled over the long legs, the tiny waist, and the revealing clothes.

"You said 'but' so that means no."

"That's not true. I do get jealous but it's also about caring and safety."

She did get jealous easily, she knew that but she couldn't do anything about it. What would it matter if it was for the better? Her jealousy made sure that Y/n was safe and fine, that she didn't find anyone else, and that she didn't get hurt. 

"You can care about someone's safety in better ways."

"You won't understand unless–"

"I have a dick?"

"Quite frankly, yes," Jennie concluded as she knew how her body reacted to a woman like Y/n walking inside a room. What her mind went through and what she wanted to do. There was a reason as to why none of her relationships had ever worked out. It was hard to keep it in the pants or maybe because all her love had always been faux.

Lisa swerved her head and finally found where the lingering eyes were coming from as she sat beside Y/n. She nudged the girl with her elbow who grumbled in return. "Isn't that Jennie Kim?" She questioned while subtly pointing with her head as Y/n looked away from the other two friends with them. Her eyes landed on the woman who wasn't being subtle at all, no one had been and none of them were oblivious to it. She lived through the fear and anxiety of people touching her using their eyes. 

"Who?" Alexis questioned from across them, sitting on the white couch, looking behind her together with Lani to see four filled couches of people surrounded by bottle girls, guards and whatnot.

Y/n rolled her eyes at that before speaking. "I forgot art majors don't know anything outside of their subject." It wasn't as if Jennie was like a celebrity everyone knew of, more people knew of her company than of who owned it unless it was someone who had an interest in the world of stocks. She still caught people's attention when walking around with guards or having paparazzi follow her at times.

"Name one romantic painter." Leilani challenged and Lisa looked at Y/n because she had no clue what to say.

"Francisco Goya–" Y/n replied and Lisa hummed as she looked back at the two. "Anyway, she's an asshole who owns a multi-billion stockbroker company and is constantly expanding."

"You know her?" Alexis curiously asked and Y/n looked past the two girl's this time Jennie caught her eyes, but the siren eyes looked away and at the two friends as she shrugged.

"Yeah she held a lecture while staring at Y/n the whole time and this idiot always speaks her mind so she said how she thought that having Jennie there was terrible only to later get asked to stay to talk after and be asked out to a party by her." Lisa's short version of the story gained Y/n even more curious looks, somewhat even lacing with envy because not everyone got asked to a party by someone of Jennie's status.

"And you went?" Lani asked.

"I went then blocked her because she's not the nice person the world sees her as." Y/n gave half of the truth because she blocked the woman who wasn't nearly as nice as the world saw her. There was no need to say that she unblocked her later and was still seeing her. 

"She so wanted to fuck you," Alexis commented and looked back once again to still have the woman looking between their table and the people at her table.

"She's not even subtle about looking at us or you I guess despite having bottle girls all around her."

Y/n licked her glossy lips at the comment, she hadn't failed to notice the women surrounding Jennie. She was well aware that there were always women surrounding her and that she was fucking them at every corner, but she hated how that started a little buzzing in her. It was as if something buzzed in her chest and Y/n wanted to provoke the woman for being the person that she was. Jennie was like a stray in heat and it had started to bother Y/n the longer she looked at her and the way she looked at women who weren't her or touched them.

"Ladies!" Her eyes snapped away from Jennie's table and up at the group of men who approached them. She heard Lisa muffle a squeal beside her before she giggled and moved closer to the vixen to make space for the men as one of them was an up-and-coming R&B singer.

Jennie found herself counting Y/n's tequila shots while trying to ignore how she and her friend were sandwiched between three men– one beside Lisa and two on Y/n's side. There were two other men on the other couch. Jennie knew who they were as they had become regulars after having the money to sit in the lounge. The guy who was humouring the vixen was a growing celebrity, she wondered if that was all that was needed to get the girl's attention. To just have a status and she would let anyone inside.

Maybe Y/n wasn't as different as Jennie thought, not as different as she had claimed to be when she said that she didn't care about Jennie's money or status. The possibility of Y/n only caring about those things was strong in Jennie's head. 

"You're wasting hennessy tonight." One of the girls humoured and Jennie looked at the woman who slipped the glass out of her hold, leaving Jennie empty-handed. "We could head to the bathroom instead, help me powder my nose." She knew that it meant to truly powder as people were coming in and out of the lounge bathrooms to do coke. Jennie didn't feel in the mood even if she would be, she would have to be wasted out of her mind to get her dick to work on other women who weren't Y/n. 

It made no sense that Jennie was thinking about a specific girl on a weekend. It never happened, but she was drowning in thoughts of Y/n. 

"Ask a friend." She declined and looked away, ignoring the look she got from the woman. The laughter from the white couches grew louder as it echoed through the loud music now and reached Jennie better. Her eyes followed the vixen and one of the girls from the other couch got up together with three guys. Jennie knew how to read Y/n's body language, it wasn't hard to tell that the four tequila shots had started to do their magic and left her drunk.

It made no sense to her that the girl was leaving to go downstairs and dance with men when she had a boyfriend, not to mention she had done it before too. Jennie continued to read into it, wondering if she was seeing more people than just her behind the guy's back which she had already warned Y/n about. Although, quite sure the vixen didn't remember a single thing from that night. The only reason was that she was trying to get on Jennie's nerves, being affected by the same reason why Jennie was affected; women surrounded her so she surrounded herself with men.

Or maybe Jennie had deluded herself again. She couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't anymore. She decided that looking over the balcony would make her feel even worse about all of this and so she got up. The party wasn't enjoyable anymore when her mind was occupied with thoughts of Y/n, it would be less occupied if she was watching the girl.

Y/n had no clue what was real or fake anymore. The crash from the ecstasy had thrown her off completely and her mind was dissociated from her body. The tequila seemed to make it worse, but also made her feel better, although it was starting to feel like an out-of-body experience. The drugs were getting the best of her as her world was spinning in the best and worst ways possible.

Nothing mattered and she felt like she could die on the spot with no reason to fight for anything anymore. She could dance until her body would give out. After having almost everything she wanted, she no longer had anything aside from despair that was impossible to drown in alcohol and drugs. The way was to bleed it out of her body and be left limp and rot away.

"How about we take you two to the bathroom–" The man's voice sounded over the music his hands grabbing hold of the slim waist and making the drunk girl turn around. She gripped at his shirt for balance, it was damp in her hands and his body was radiating with heat. The bass was pounding through her body as she looked up at the taller singer. "It's snow." He prompted the idea, enlightening the girl about what they had in the bathrooms. The longer Y/n looked at him while trying to find words the closer he came and she finally found them.

"I have a boyfriend back home." She dodged his lips and placed hers by his ear. She could feel the guy heaving by her ear as the hands were still gripping her waist. "I could be him for tonight." She giggled at the words and felt the kisses over her cheek before he reached her lips. The kiss seemed to last a good five seconds before she pulled away and held him at a distance. 

"I will take the snow offer with my friend instead." It finally registered in her mind, but she couldn't find the will to care. It felt like the last night and she was doomed either way. Y/n wanted to live for the drugs and parties as her life had lost a sense of direction. All she wanted was to walk inside that bathroom, inhale and not come out breathing again. Her heart was beating with hope for death as she walked, accepting the fate she tried to choose for herself without anyone there to stop her. 

She wanted to forget everything and everyone, Jennie and Asher included, she wanted to forget herself. 

"What time is it?" Y/n asked Lisa once they made it up the stairs. Lisa looked at the giggly girl who had the singer right behind her. The girl reached up for her friend and pulled her down which was easy as she stumbled right to Lisa.

"You have a boyfriend."

"I know, but–" Y/n looked away from Lisa and the guy who was talking to another one from the group. "I'm not going to have a threesome."

"It would be a fivesome, baby." Lisa corrected the drunk girl as three guys and Alexis were the ones who were about to leave for the bathroom.

"Come on, let Y/n go now. She's all good with us." The singer ushered and grabbed hold of the girl's hand while helping her up on her feet. It was like watching a doll get pulled back and forth, one without any will of its own that had given into whatever came its way, one that had given up. 

"Just a line and I will be back without a foursome." She managed to say before getting dragged up from the couch and away. Lisa didn't try to do more to stop her as she did her best and there was only so much she could do as Y/n was grown.

"Fivesome..." Lisa mumbled and looked at Leilani who had been chatting with the two other guys. Lisa was too busy drowning in guilt over just letting her best friend get lost in the dark. She could see that there was no control left in Y/n, but she couldn't find it in her to pull her away from the track and have her change wheels. Instead, she reached for a drink and decided to ignore her best friend's problems. In the end, Y/n was having fun and Lisa wasn't going to ruin it for her.

Alexis didn't care, Leilani didn't, and Lisa wouldn't do it either as long as the girl was breathing and having fun. Asher only had himself to blame in her opinion. Lisa wasn't going to be different even if it ate at her, the dread with this one was strong. 

What caught Lisa's attention was the lounge spot where the multi-billionaire and other social figures were sitting. Her eyes subtly followed Jennie who walked over to the couches with her hands in pockets. Instead of sitting down the woman walked over to one of the guards who leaned down as she spoke into his ear. 

As much as Lisa didn't care, she was starting to see a pattern and dots were coming together. The only person she could see Y/n already knowing here at the club was the woman whom she said she had blocked. The same woman who had been watching her like a hawk. Who else could Y/n have texted to get entries?

She watched the guard leave and walk towards the hallway that led to the bathrooms as Jennie stood with her hands still in her pockets as she waited. Lisa continued to sip on her drink while curiously watching because everyone was busy with something else at the moment. From the looks of it, Jennie didn't seem pleased and Lisa barely knew the woman aside from what Y/n had told her about her from the night. Yet it wasn't hard to tell that the billionaire was beyond furious. 

Jennie looked away from the hallway and looked at the eyes that were drilling into her side, her fingers angrily fiddling with the pockets material of her jeans. Her eyes landed on the girl she knew was the vixen's best friend. She had no clue how much the girl knew or if she was aware of anything at all. 

One thing she knew was that the best friend only cared so much if she let the black cat walk off with three other guys and a tiny friend. There was no way that they cared if she was cheating if they didn't even care about her safety.

There was more that Jennie cared about at the moment. 

What the woman cared about was reminding Y/n of who exactly Jennie was and who the girl was pissing off. The sight just did something. To see her dance with someone else, to see her kiss him, to think of what could happen in that bathroom any second now. It made her fists clench, the longer and deeper in more detail she thought about everything. The lost girl getting her back blown by someone who wasn't her.

Has Y/n been seeing other people?

Whatever control Jennie had felt like it was gone now.

It was all turning red. 

"Are you fucking kidding me," Alexis complained and Y/n groaned as she quickly reached for paper. The knocking on the door disrupted the different kind of peace that they had–banging, not knocking. 

Y/n held the paper against her nostril which finally gave up and started to bleed, the guy who was behind her moved and she stumbled back and into the wall. Her world was flashing all types of lights that were blinding her. The door opened and she squinted her eyes as her heart started to beat without a rhythm while heating her. It all went numb and she waited for the guard to throw them out, but it didn't seem to be the case while she tried her best to stay conscious. 

"I need you three guys to leave the premises for bringing in illicit substances. If you cooperate you can leave through the back without further complications."

A slight commotion and fingers were pointing at the two girls before the three men left with the guard.

"I think we missed out on good sex." Alexis laughed, making Y/n sigh while holding herself up with her back pressing into the cold marble tiles in the golden-lit bathroom although it was flashing like lightning in the sky in front of her eyes.

"I'm gonna head back."

"I will be out soon." She mumbled. 

Lisa averted her gaze when Jennie caught her, although she looked towards the hallway when the same guard was walking out–not alone, but with the three guys in front of him. They headed towards them and her eyes landed on Alexis who was right behind them.

"Time to pack it up you two and follow me out."

The girl looked at Alexis confused who slumped down beside her. The two guys, albeit confused, started to gather themselves and get up to leave the lounge.

"Where's Y/n? What happened?"

"She's in the bathroom, nosebleed...They are getting thrown out for bringing in illicit substances." She shrugged, confused about the whole thing as they weren't getting thrown out despite being in the same bathroom as the guys. She assumed it had something to do with how they got entry, whoever gave them the entry.

Lisa looked over and only managed to catch a glimpse of Jennie who left for the bathrooms.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore @dreamingst99 / taglist is open

masterlist

[power-handmaiden]

what I want to (re?)gain from reading all these tinglers.

Long ass personal ramble below because this is my blog where I ramble about things now

I used to draw all the time and even longer ago I used to write and at some point I just stopped because I got hung up on whether I was "good" at these things things or whether it was a waste of my time creating such "trivial" things rather than art with "meaning" or maybe of I should be spending my time on more "useful" skills. Why write if you're just going to write gay fanfiction? But when I tried more "serious" things to "develop my skills" and also do things like proofread and edit, it just wasn't fun anymore and the hobby was dropped. Drawing lasted longer and I never dropped it so completely but I think smartphones put a damper on it. Once we all got little Google machines in our pockets I was never just out somewhere doodling freely, there was always the option to look up a reference, to draw the thing Correctly, and then time would pass where I was trying to find a picture of a ram's horns at just the right angle, and my number at the DMV would be called or whatever else I was waiting for would demand my attention and I would never even set my pencil to paper in these moments when I used to doodle.

I also felt like I could never express sexual ideas as much as I wanted to because of the "quality" of my work. Making "bad" art was one thing, everyone in the learning process does that, but sharing "bad" sexual art? Well, everyone on the internet forums I frequented was *justified* in reposting their art to mock them and linking to their online galleries for passersby to point and laugh personally, I thought at the time. How dare they be horny and express it in an appropriate adults-only space without mastering their craft first!

There's a lot holding me back. I deeply miss drawing and writing. I miss how freely I used to be able to just do them without the mental block telling me I need to run certain steps for Quality when I never did intend to do these creative things as a profession or anything?

Why is it so easy to sit down and "waste time" playing a video game or scrolling the internet, but so hard to spend the same amount of time drawing something for fun?

here's where Chuck Tingle comes in. He is someone who just DOES IT. This is the writing of someone who is not overthinking the process like I am when I become too paralyzed to create. And, I cannot stress this enough. IT'S SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. So much fun, joyful art has come from a process that I had convinced myself was something to be reined in and feared. The free act of creation that I'd convinced myself was nothing if I didn't learn to refine it into something "respectable". Ideas that would definitely not have passed a committee vote but make the process of reading all these stories one after another so exciting.

Even when I hit the occasional one like today that doesn't hit well anymore, it's evidence of someone who was creating from the heart, in the moment. Weirdly, they make me feel that yearning even stronger, with the knowledge that I know I'll love future stories.

I still haven't gotten there yet but I hope the love I find in these stories eventually breaks down the mental walls I've built and makes me feel free again to DRAW SOME GODDAMN LESBIAN FURRIES.

[lawlietscaramels]

can iii.. be 🗯 anon?

strange request! but what about going thrifting with light? like his partner is a little less than rich, and they drag light along one of their thrifting trips. gn!reader please

(definitely NOT based on the fact i finally went thrifting again.. trust.)

Thrifting ╾ Light

You can ofc be 🗯️ anon! I was struggling a little with the "little less than rich," whether to interpret it as "few cents to spare" or "almost a millionaire"- I find this stuff difficult online- so I kinda didn't talk about reader's financial situation.

I do default to a gn reader for future reference, though I may accidentally include things more relatable to my experience of gender. I do proofread, so hopefully I avoid this usually!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

Light's really busy, honestly. He has to spend time being Kira, time placating Misa, time working at the Task Force, and already a lot of time with you.

Light likes that last one the most, but that doesn't mean he can spare enough time for a long trip, thrifting or otherwise.

But if he does have time, he'd be happy enough to come along if you wanted!

No need to drag him, Y/N...

I don't think Light has ever been thrifting himself. Actually I don't think he really buys much in general. Grocery shopping, occasionally new clothes.. I dunno I don't think Light buys a lot. Or maybe he does buy a fair bit, but it's all stuff he needs and uses... hm.

Anyway!

This whole thrifting thing is pretty new to him.

It does make sense to save money and participate in a circular economy, but he's surprised if you mention how fun it is to find surprising and unique little items. The hunt is not something Light gets until he thinks it over for a while.

And then he decides it sounds quite fun!

Light would probably try to trail you for a little while before wandering off to discover little treasures of him own.

"Hey, what do you think of this?" he asks every few minutes, about a suit with a polkadot pattern or a now out of print book or a statue of a garden elf. Grin and laugh and he'll smile back, happy to have participated in this thrifting trip of yours and found something interesting himself.

Light is also pleasantly surprised by the price at the end!

I think he's probably middle class or maybe upper middle class but there's no point in spending more than necessary.

That said, Light would probably still buy clothes at more retail chains, it's better for him to blend in and be relatable and likeable (he's so psychopath-core) and he doesn't like the idea of sharing pants with someone else. He's not a germophobe like L, but he smelt and saw some funny things on the clothes in the store...

Even so, he'd happily join you on thrifting trips in the future! Light does enjoy it, though he may not make the choice to go himself.

(he left with three bags full of Stuff.)

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.

[cryslut]

BSD Men - Soulmate

「 Fyodor ~ Chuuya ~ Dazai ~ Tetchou ~ Jouno ~ Nikolai 」 - Where the BSD men cast find out that you two are soulmates. Finding out you were destined to be together after being told by some gifted person with the ability to read peoples lives. - Gender neutral reader, there may be spelling errors this is not fully proofread. I'm not sure where this idea came from and I'm not sure what this is suppose to be but nonetheless I hope you enjoy this (Some of this feels out of character but I hope it's still okay) (The picture above of all characters was edited by me - if you use, give credit)

↳ Fyodor Dostoevsky

As a terrorist and someone who is cruel and manipulative, he is also calm in dire situations. So finding out that you two were meant to be together, he didn't mind it. After all, you two knew each other for a while.

You two met when you were on the verge of your very untimely tragic death. He saw potential in you, manipulating his way to convincing you to join him otherwise if you didn't, he would let you die on the ground. You of course accepted the offer.

You two were roaming around the city of Yokohama. Coming across a man that stopped you both, talking about how your lives were going to go, and then letting you both know that you were indeed meant to be together.

,

"You two are also meant to be together, you're soulmates I suppose," The man in front of you both says calmly. Fyodor keeping his composure, "We're not even together but we're meant to be you say?" The man looks at him nodding his head, "That is how it is."

After the very random encounter, you two kept walking around making way to where you two wanted to head to. As you both reach an alleyway, Fyodor stops walking in his tracks and turns to look at you, "If that man is true to his word.. do you want to see if it's really spot on or not?" His eyes go back and forth looking at yours.

Nodding your head accepting his offer, "Sure," You smile softly at him, "Good, then we're official, let's keep going."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Chuuya Nakahara

You and Chuuya were already in a relationship. One thing lead to another with you both and here you were with him. When he found out you two were meant to be together, he was completely more than fine with it. He didn't want to lose you as he already lost enough as it is. So this made him really happy deep down but he didn't want to admit it too much.

You were both just finishing a meeting in the port mafia and you two are about to head out, exiting the building. Some guy walks up to you, the man is caught by the both of you and drawn to you as if he needs to tell you something.

He explains how his gift works and briefly explains how your two lives will unfold for a while but leaving out too many details otherwise he's just messing with the future. He lets you both in on one secret though and that would be that you two are destined.

,

"The both of you are soulmates," He whispers loud enough while leaned towards the both of you then taking a step back. Chuuya nods his head as if he wasn't too affected by it. This made you upset so after the man was done speaking to you both. You gave him a little talk. Let's just say he ended up confessing how he felt and that he truly does love you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Dazai Osamu

Dazai is a very flirty man, and he was always like that with you enough as it is. You two have had sexual relations with each other. So when he found out you two were destined to be together, it was quite interesting to say the least.

You two were in the cafe that was right below the armed detective agency, with the rest of the group chatting and as usual Dazai makes dumb flirty comments to you, getting a reaction out of Kunikida to make him stop completely bonking the man on the head as usual.

You brushed it off and didn't really care. Once they gather away, a man walked into the cafe ordering something and then while he was waiting he made his way over to your table, the same one where you and Dazai were alone together at.

He can already tell some things about you two. He starts a conversation then telling you both a little bit about himself and about his gift. Then he goes on to inform you both about your lives and what will happen. But leaving anything too crazy and major out, after all he doesn't want to mess with fate. He does let you both in one secret though.

,

"Not suppose to tell you this, but the both of you are meant to be together, you two are soulmates, basically destined, it was fate you met," The man says softly and quietly not trying to draw attention from anyone else. Dazai looks surprised and then looks over at you and smirks, "Well I guess all those times I've 'helped' you really did pay off in more ways than just one, huh?" He nudges you. Your face heats up, followed by a  pink tint on it that can be seen.

Of course Dazai would find a way to make you feel flustered or even embarrassed. He always did with his flirtatious comments. That's what you loved about him though. After the man left and you two were alone at the table again, before anyone could come back to interrupt, Dazai lifts his head up and averts his gaze onto you, "So, you want to see if this man's words are really accurate? If you're mine after all, I could help you more," He smirks at you and you blush once more nodding your head, "Sure, I'd love to."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Tetchou Suehiro

Tetchou is a very serious well organized person, he hates sadistic beings so he's a very soft individual especially when it comes to you. He can be even seen as over protective over you. You two are already dating, you two started talking and really getting along when you joined the hunting dogs.

So learning about the two of you and your destiny together was quite interesting. He was quite entertained by the idea of it and really wanted to move forward with you.

You two were hunting a criminal that not even the armed detective agency could track down. When you two stumbled upon a man, questioning him if he saw the perpetrator anywhere, a small conversation started and then he broke out saying how you two are destined to be together.

,

Tetchou looked a bit serious at this moment in time but he was quite surprised, hearing the words 'destined to be together' and 'soulmate' all in one sentence threw him off for a moment but he kept his composure, "We're already together. But you have this gift and you're able to tell us that we are.. soulmates?" He questions as the man nods at him, "Interesting."

So you two have a conversation about it while looking for the gifted perpetrator that no one can really seem to track down. He seemed quite happy knowing that you two got together and he was excited deep down inside that you two were going to spend the rest of your lives together.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Jouno Saigiku

As some who seems very happy and cheerful a lot of the time even in situations with people he cannot tolerate at all, he seems like he'd be the soft type. He really isn't, maybe for you. But he abhors intense emotions from those around him, so you would think he'd hate the concept of love. He doesn't when it comes down to you though, he doesn't quite show it a lot though. So finding out that you two are soulmates.

You two were off doing your own thing on some break away from all the others, a man randomly approached you both starting a conversation and then explaining his gift and how it works and then asks to try it out on you two. You both let him with Jouno completely on guard in case something would happen but smiling while doing so to throw the man off if he tried anything at all.

He then proceeds to tell you two little small details about what's to come in the future and then loops you two in to a secret about how you two were meant to meet each other and meant to find each other is leading to the both of you ending up together and being happy together. Jouno was already looking very happy but he didn't try showing any emotion about the whole situation at hand.

,

"We are meant to end up together, you say?" His tone is still as cheerful as ever, "Indeed," The man says as you look over at Jouno. Although you both were not together you were upset because it was clear to you that you had feelings for him.

So once the conversation was over you decided to have a little talk with him, "So about what that man said," Jouno draws his attention to you, "He said we were meant to be together, do you wanna.." You stop as you felt yourself growing nervous.

"Yes, we can give dating a shot," He takes your pause as a hint as to what you were going to ask, you smile and felt relieved and happy about what he said, you two continue doing what you were before and went on with your day after talking about that one situation for a while.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Nikolai Gogol

This man is very sadistic in nature. But deep down he has a soft spot for you. He may not admit it and may be even distant from time to time but he does treat you with the upmost respect and love with all the compassion he can when he does show anything at all. So finding out that you two are soulmates was something he found interesting, not really understanding it.

You two were doing your own thing. You tend to follow Nikolai around because the things he does never makes sense to you so you just tag along and don't question it. A man by himself piqued your interest and you decided to go up to him. A conversation had started and one thing leading to another, the man going into small details about your life along with Nikolai's.

The man seemed to know enough about who Nikolai was to be a bit distant from him so he made it up to him and you by telling you both a secret, which was that it was fate you two met.

,

"You guys.. are soulmates," He starts off softly, trying to remain calm while Nikolai was around, "You two are meant to be together as in.. dating," You look over at Nikolai who was just smiling and kinda surprised, but also quite confused not really understanding it, "So we're meant to be together?" He says, he keeps his very cheerful attitude but you can hear the cluelessness in his tone, "Yes, correct."

After some time of a conversation with the man, Nikolai is confused by the term soulmate so you briefly explain it the best way you can, "Ohh okay! So this means, me and you can finally date?" He yells out with joy as it makes you jump back and laugh, "Yes, we can."

[justajsworkshop]

Thank you.

I'll keep this short but- I had taken a break for a few months. The entire states thing did not do me any good. When I came back, I read too much tumblr, twitter and reddit and now I'm confused on how to proceed.

I came across your blog yesterday and on skimming through a couple of your asks, you seem to not stick to the traditional rules and terminology which I truly appreciate. And I hope you can give me some advice.

-1) The lack of guidelines is making me feel kinda scared. One person tells that all there's left to do is decide, another tells that we have to 'know' it into being. Too much info has left me confused. I think I used feel safe when I knew I just had to do x, y and z and then I'll have what I want. How can I navigate through this? Everything feels kinda mixed up, if that makes sense

2)So, I read this-> https://www.tumblr.com/justajsworkshop/761700924577267712/im-the-anon-who-wanted-to-cry-this-is-silly-but?source=share

ask, because this was one of the questions I had. And the last sentence you wrote was-'manifesting is just choosing what that narrative is.' Do I choose and then...just leave it? I dont react to anything that contradicts what I chose? And where does faith/knowing come into play in all this?

I'm sorry if I sent anything that violates your ask policy. I'll send another ask if it did. Thank you for your time and help❤️

mmm, okay. so, i'm going to address a few of the specific lines you said here, and i think one thing you'll find when getting "answers" from me is that i tend to veer toward posing more questions to you, but my intention is that the questions will help you source answers from yourself instead of an outside god.

i want to give you a quick heads up that this is egregiously long (even by my standards) with minimal proofreading, and it's also very direct. so i recommend reading at a time when you're not feeling super sensitive or precious about yourself. as i say with everything i write, take what resonates. leave what doesn't. trust yourself more than you trust me.

I think I used feel safe when I knew I just had to do x, y and z and then I'll have what I want. How can I navigate through this?

preface: i generally don't answer "how" questions, but this is an open enough one that you actually captured the essence of why i ask people not to start with the word "how." people often want me to tell them what to do, but you're asking how to understand something in a different way. just adding this note here for future reference for other folks.

i'll be direct here: you used to find safety in a step-by-step process because it was easier for you to trust a process instead of trusting yourself.

truthfully, if you want to continue perceiving yourself, reality, and manifestation that way, there's nothing inherently wrong with that. your experience is entirely subjective to your preferences and not what anyone else says.

that being said, the reason i personally caution against putting your faith in processes above all is that what happens when a process "doesn't work?" what happens when results start taking longer or something else happens? and you start spiraling because you believe the process failed you; therefore, you're doing it all wrong, and you spin a narrative that you must be missing something, blah blah blah. the cycle of eternal seeking starts all over again because what you're really seeking is yourself.

anytime you create an external god, they are bound to let you down. plain and simple. so, who is your faith and trust secure in? I AM.

I AM is the ultimate process. I AM is the method, the way, the how, and the shift. I AM is just your awareness of being. you're aware that you exist, right? you didn't have to follow any process or technique or learn anything to know you exist. you just know because you just are.

(i have tons of posts on your awareness, but the most useful ones are linked in my pinned post.)

i always edit descartes' famous "i think; therefore, i am" to be extra redundant for the sake of emphasis: i exist; therefore, i am. and this leads me into this question of yours:

Do I choose and then...just leave it? I dont react to anything that contradicts what I chose?

we manifest who and what we are conscious of being. your narrative of being isn't just a one-time decision, although it is entirely possible to manifest by deciding once (i do it often). but i want you to pan out and look at the whole forrest and not just the trees.

who do you say you are?

if god were to look at you—to peer into your heart and mind—what's your attitude about yourself and life? what does god see in you? do you perceive yourself as someone who gets what they want? as someone who's capable? as someone who, even if they don't have all the answers now, can and will figure it out for themselves?

as i wrote in a post recently, if the term "states" isn't helpful for you, try attitude, as i find that it encompasses thoughts, feelings, and the perception of self in a way that makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts.

i'm going to reflect back something you said to show you the kind of attitude i'm getting from you (in this small snippet; i know there's more to you than what you wrote here):

The entire states thing did not do me any good. When I came back, I read too much tumblr, twitter and reddit and now I'm confused on how to proceed. I AM someone who is always chasing the right answer. i want to know the right way to do things because i don't trust myself to be the way. i need someone or something outside of me to instruct me because see the process or someone else's word as a greater authority over my word. I AM confused. I AM not worthy of my trust.

god is looking at all that stuff in italics, and god loves and trusts you enough that it said, anything you ask for in my name (the name of I AM, i.e., it is your nature to identify yourself a certain way), it will be added onto you. no ifs, ands, or buts. you ask for it in the name of god, I AM that I AM, it's yours.

so, what does the person who says "I AM confused" and "I AM not worthy of my trust" manifest? an experience of seeking, confusion, overwhelm, and doubt.

I dont react to anything that contradicts what I chose?

you can be non-reactive, but also you don't have to gaslight yourself into unhealthy emotional places. it's not about not reacting; it's about seeing the greater picture. person A says "I AM confused" and treats that as the end. they're literally... living in the end of being confused, and guess what they manifest. person B says, "I AM confused, AND i will figure this shit out." what's the difference between person A and person B? attitude. it's their perception of self and the situation to recognize that everything they're seeing and experiencing rn isn't the full story.

reacting isn't the end of the world. ffs, feel your feelings and do what you need to do to process in healthy ways because repression is just resistance. as neville said, "when you resist evil, you give it your attention; you continue to make it real." in this case, "evil" refers to anything you don't want.

so, if you keep trying "not to react" but it's coming from a place of repressing and pushing it away, you actually end up crediting the undesirable more, and this is why people who go the "fuck the 3D route" tend to get shit exploding back in their face. because they literally say "the 3D is fucked, fuck you" ... and then welp, the 3D fucks them back. like, it has no free will. it has to.

you and reality are one. there is no separation. it's not even just that reality is a mirror or that reality is your thoughts pushed out: all of physical reality is actually happening INSIDE you because physical reality is happening inside the mind of god. and you, your true divine self, are one with the father of all existence.

what makes manifesting confusing as fuck is when people identify with their limited, human self over their divine, limitless, eternal self. as reverend ike says, the only problem man ever has is not knowing himself, not identifying himself correctly.

you'll see it in a bunch of my posts that the first and ONLY step to manifest is to "be still and know that I AM god." and you can actually even chop that down to "know that I AM god" because when you identify as god above all, how can you NOT be one with your desires? how can you be anything else but unbothered and eternally fulfilled? because god is all things, has all things, and through whom all things are possible.

my advice is stop asking how and to start asking who. ask yourself who you really are. ask your true self to reveal themselves to you. ask yourself who do i say i am? and you'll start seeing things not through your physical, limited eyes but through the eyes of god.

anyway, i'm sorry this got so fucking long, and i hope that there was at least a nugget or two in here that helped you. the short of it is, manifesting isn't about how or when or if; it's always about who. who do you say you are? and that will be added onto you because god put all its faith into you to give you the free will to choose your conception of self.

[ashwhowrites]

Sup sweets? how are you?

I have an angst/ smut with Steve Harrington.

the reader and Steve being a powerful couple, madly in love with each other. After everything in the upside down, the reader dies and Steve goes insane. He's loosing it. He never realizes that the most important person in his life is dead. He's talking alone, pretending like they're there with him, laughing with em, crying with em, telling them how much he loves em and planning a future with em.

The smut part, a scene in the shower where Steve imagine the reader joins him and they have a passionate love making.

(re-create this Riverdale scene with Steve and the reader pleaseee)

You can use: Fluff/ 20, "I'm so proud of you" and angst/ 34, “You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!” if you want to.

Thank you love~

⚠️ character death. This shit is sad

I've never seen Riverdale so I winged the smut

Never proofread, I'll edit later

"you can't have a blue tux Steve. It's a wedding" Y/N scoffed as she crossed off Steve's idea.

"well that's just rude" Steve joked, crossing his arms in a fake glare

"baby you can have a blue tie" she compromised with a smile

Steve agreed to the idea. Smiling as he watched her scramble to put their wedding together.

Steve wasn't sure how he got so lucky. After Nancy he was truly afraid he wasn't going to find anyone. Steve didn't have his shit together, his parents hated him and all he had was Dustin. He wasn't exactly the hottest bachelor. But for some reason she picked him.

They fell in love more and more every day. And Steve couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life by her side. He couldn't wait to wake up next to her every morning, kiss her all day long, and fall asleep with their hearts beating together. He couldn't wait to have a family. Watch her stomach grow as she created their child. The best qualities of them mixed together to make a smaller version of them both. Having a family was all that Steve dreamed of, and he was finally getting his happy ending.

They had a routine, every morning they'd wake up, soft kisses and good mornings shared. Head to the kitchen to share their pot of coffee. Sitting at the counter, shoulder to shoulder, as Y/N took out their wedding planner. Sitting down and discussing their ideas.

After a few hours, they'd make lunch together. Laughing as Steve burned something new every time and she had to rush to save their meal. They'd sit on the front porch, eating together and feeling the warm air. Steve loved to watch the neighborhood kids on their bikes, but he loved the way she watched the kids. She was meant to be a mom and he couldn't wait to make her one.

Once the sun started to set and the kids went inside, the couple would head back inside. She'd clean the dishes, and he'd dry the plates. Singing off key to whatever song was on the radio.

Anytime they got lucky enough and their song played, he'd grab her hand and twirl her in the kitchen. Always saying, "I need to practice for our first dance," he'd close his eyes and imagine her wearing her white dress. Dancing in front of their family and friends. Both dressed in black and white.

This was the girl Steve has been waiting for.

~~

Steve never questioned why he never saw his friends anymore. But he didn't care, he was spending his life with the girl of his dreams. He spent every second, minute, and hour with her. He never got enough of her. Their wedding was months away, and Steve counted down the days. She was going to be a Harrington. Steve finally was being loved by someone and he wanted to be smothered in that love for life.

Steve was humming in the shower, feeling the heat of the water running down his skin. He cleaned the soap off of his arms when he heard the curtain move. Turning his head to see Y/N with a smug smile on her face. Her eyes ranking down his body.

"without me? How rude of you Steve" she teased, a smirk on her face as she reached behind her. Steve's eyes followed as she unzipped her dress. Feeling his cock start to twitch as the dress fell, she was naked underneath. Her perfect skin inches away from him.

"come on in, gorgeous" he smiled, grabbing her hand and allowing her to step in under the water. Her back to him as she put her face under the hot water. Sighing as the water ran over her body. Steve's arms reached around her, trapping her body against his. Moaning instantly when his hard cock rested against her ass.

"Steve please" she whimpered, throwing her head back against his shoulder.

"I got you, baby" he whispered in her ear, his right hand sliding down to her cunt. Two fingers slipping between her lips, and running up and down her clit.

He clenched his eyes as his fingers slipped inside of her, the way she gasped and moaned against him. Her arms reached behind her to tangle her fingers in his hair. Her hips moving against his fingers.

Steve loved being inside of her. It didn't matter if it was his fingers, tongue or his cock. He loved being so close to her, skin on skin, and breathing into each other.

"Steve please, want you to fuck me" she whined into his neck, lips pressing against the skin softly.

Steve slipped out his fingers, sucking them clean. He grabbed her hip and turned her around. Shoving her back against the shower wall. She moaned as she threw her arms over his shoulders.

Steve held her jaw as he kissed her slowly, taking his time to taste her lips and tongue. Groaning as her hands trialed down his stomach, softly tracing the length of his cock.

Steve shivered as her ring scraped slightly against his tip, she slowly jerked the pre cum out of his cock. Smearing it on his tip.

Steve pulled away from the kiss, grabbing her left leg and wrapping it around his waist. Softly pushing his cock inside of her.

It always felt as amazing as the first time. He loved how she took him in, warm, wet and tight. The way she clenched around him and gasped.

"fuck, you always feel so good" he moaned grabbing her left hand and holding it with his against the wall. Loving the way her ring sparkled against the wall.

"oh Steve. Fill me up so fucking good" she whined, her head falling forward, resting against his hairy chest. With his right hand, he grabbed her jaw, forcing her head up

"nah uh. Look at me when I fuck you. Gonna fuck a baby into you. Gonna make us a family" he moaned, eyes staring into hers as she tried to keep them open.

She moaned at his words, nodding as he fucked her faster into the wall.

"fuck yes, make me a mommy Steve. Wanna make you a daddy" she whined out, her right hand running through his hairy chest. Steve wanted to feel every inch of her.

Removing his hand from her jaw to grab her other leg, wrapping it around him. She locked her ankles around him instantly. Both love how it sunk him deeper into her.

"fuck I love you" he moaned, trapping her breath into a heated kiss.

~~

"Y/N! STAY AWAKE" Eddie screamed, cradling the bleeding girl in his arms.

Pressing the dirty cloth against her stomach. Dustin searching for a belt in Eddie's bedroom.

"IS STEVE BACK YET?" Dustin screamed, frankly digging through Eddie's closet as fast as he could

"NO. HE HASN'T DROPPED IN YET" Eddie screamed back. Watching the open portal, praying Steve will make it in time to say goodbye.

Y/N coughed up blood underneath him, her eyes closing and taking longer to open.

"Eddie" she coughed out, her lips trembling.

"I know, he's coming. I swear. He's going to be here" Eddie reassured her, he refused to let this girl die without Steve seeing her one last time.

"I..can't" she moaned out in pain

Dustin raced into the room, throwing Eddie the belt. Crying silently as he looked at her bleeding out

"Y/N please, stay awake okay? Steve is going to be here and make everything better. Stay awake for Steve okay?" Dustin pleaded. Clenching her hand against his. Not caring that she was drenched in blood.

"NANCY NOW" Dustin perked up when he heard Steve's scream.

The boy rushing through the portal, in seconds knocking Eddie out of the way.

Steve's heart stopped, she was barely awake, her breathing was shallow.

"baby?" He choked out. Her face was covered in cuts. Her neck was scratched and her stomach was sliced open. She was covered in dirt and blood from head to toe.

Steve held her left hand against his chest, fear in his body when her hand couldn't grip his back the way it always did does.

"Steve...I'm sorry" she cried, trying her hardest to reach her right hand to his cheek

"shh nothing to be sorry for. It's okay. We are going to go home okay? I'm gonna pick you up and drive you to the hospital" Steve instructed, moving to lift her up until she screamed out in pain.

"Steve! She can't move" Eddie panicked.

"NO! SHE NEEDS HELP MUNSON. HELP ME LIFT HER UP!" Steve screamed.

"Steve, listen to me. This is it. She has to stay here" Robin choked out, her own eyes clouded with tears.

Everyone in the room knew Y/N wasn't going to make it, but Steve refused to listen.

"Dustin. Please. Help me please" Steve cried, looking at the boy

Dustin sobbed as Steve started to break down. Steve's body began to shake as he sobbed.

"dusty. It's her! Please just help me" Steve pleaded. Dustin nodded, moving to grab Y/N's body

"steve. Listen" she croaked out. Steve stopped instantly, looking down at her

"it's okay. Please just kiss me" she whimpered. Steve nodded, moving his nose to be pressed against hers, softly kissing her lips. Their tears mixing together.

"please baby, just stay" he begged

"I can't, but listen to me. I'm so proud of you. The man you became and the man I fell in love with other these years. Thank you for loving me and making me happy until my last moment with you. I'll always love you. Okay? You are never alone Steve Harrington. I'll always be here" she sobbed out. Using every bit of strength to get her words out. Coughing hard as she spit out more blood.

Steve cried and sobbed into her neck.

"I love you so much, you'll always be here. Always" he whispered back.

Steve stayed with her body for hours. Screaming nonsense any time someone tried to move him off. He refused to move.

Hopper cried silently as he dragged Steve off of her, tightening his grip around the boys waist as he began to fight back

"NO. YOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY. NO" he sobbed, kicking his way out of Hopper's arms. But failed once his body gave up.

He collapsed to the floor. His body covered in her blood, his lips stained with her for one last time.

Robin cradled him in her arms, Dustin grabbed the engagement ring, and joined in. Handing Steve the ring.

"this way, she's always with you"

~~

If you asked Robin who Y/N was she'd said she was her best friend. Steve's fiance that died tragically In the upside down. Sacrificing herself for Eddie Munson, allowing him the chance to clear his name.

But if you asked Steve, he'd tell you she is the love of his life. She is his fiance and they are planning their wedding together. He'd say she is hoping for a summer wedding with purple flowers. Steve would say she made it out of the upside down. She never died. And he was sick of people telling him that.

If she was dead, how can she be here? How can she be sleeping next to him every night? He can feel her. He can kiss her. He can make love to her. He couldn't do anything of that if she was dead.

~~

After the upside down Steve's world faded in a blur. He doesn't remember much details of that event. It was like his mind deleted any memory of it. He never knew the woman he's been talking to everyday was gone. She was just in his head.

~~

"is he still seeing her?" Robin asked the doctor.

Her sad eyes watching Steve through the glass window, his body chained down to a bed, dressed in white. A poor shell of a body locked down to reality.

"he still believes he's in that house with her. Whenever we talk to him he talks about their new wedding details, he's still very sick. " The doctor explained.

"she's been gone for six months, how long will he continue to believe she's real?" Dustin asked. His heart cracked seeing Steve living in his head. He couldn't grasp that Y/N was dead and wasn't ever coming back.

"I'm not sure. His brain blocks out her death, he doesn't remember the events of the accident. He goes through the same routine every day. He sits in the corner and points to things that aren't there. He dances alone. He talks to her for hours. We are doing the best we can." The doctor said sadly. Allowing the two alone.

Steve Harrington would never be the same.

But to him, he was never alone, because she was always there.

[death-to-posers]

Hi! Whatsup! Could you write a Necrobutcher (mayhem ofc) x fem reader ,where necro gets jealous (maybe over a guy talking with reader idk) like, make necro idk, possessive but in a cool way. Idk

You can make it smut,fluff, anything lol, (not angst)

Thx

I was hoping someone would request Necro, he's so underappreciated I adore that man.

(I also apologise for how long it's taken me to answer these, and I'm so sorry to the first anon who asked for Serj Tankian x reader, I never did get 'round to writing that. I've had a lot going on and this is the first time I've been on my Tumblr in months, I'll try write that at some point in the future)

This will be a friends to lovers, I hope that's alright with you, if not, give me a shout and I'll edit it so that Necro and reader are already in a relationship. This is also written in third person (most of my fics will be, I prefer third person)

Also this is meant to be REAL Necro, not Lords of Chaos. (I fucking hate that movie)

Pairing: Necrobutcher (Mayhem) x fem!Reader

(This is set pre Pelle's death)

Plot: (Friends to lovers) Reader goes to a nearby convenience store to get some cigs and unexpectedly bumps into Necro. The cashier gets a little too friendly with reader...

She sits up in her bed, reaching into her bedside cabinet drawer for a pack of cigarettes. She sighs, realising she's all out. Oh well, the convenience store is a two minute walk away. She gets up groggily, pulling on a pair of boots and walking out the front door.

The door of the store swings open and she steps inside, noticing a familiar face in the corner, by the alcohol aisle. "Jørn?". He looks up, grinning once he recognises her. "What are you doing here at this hour Y/N?". He walks up to her and gives her a slightly awkward side hug. He's wearing the same torn jeans and leather jacket he always wears. "I needed some cigs," she replies, returning the hug. He nods, "Of course you did. I'm here for some whiskey and coke, Euro's been drinking it all, but what's new?". He gives her a wink and returns to the drinks aisle. She walks up to the counter, grabbing a pack of cigs. "Just these, thanks". The cashier looks her up and down, leering. "I could give these to you for free y'know, sweetheart?". He gives her a suggestive look. She cringes. "Oh, um, no thanks. I can pay-", she's cut off, Jørn rests a hand on her shoulder. "I'll knock your fucking teeth out you son of a whore," he stares at the cashier coldly. The cashier scoffs, snatching the money from Y/N's hand. She grabs her cigarettes and walks out of the store, Jørn close at her heels. Once out of the store, he wraps an arm around her waist, glaring ahead aimlessly. She raises an eyebrow. "Chill, it's just a man being.. A man," his apparent anger confuses her somewhat. He hisses, pulling her closer. "No one - no one - is allowed to look at you like that, except me". He presses his lips to hers, kissing her roughly. Her eyes widen, it takes her a second to realise what's happening. She's apparently not against it though, returning the kiss eventually. He pulls back, looking calmer, and slightly apologetic. "Was that okay? I should've asked first-", now it's her turn to cut him off, pulling him into another kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist, smiling into the kiss.

This was really short, I'm sorry, lmk if you'd like a part two! (If yes, I'll try do some smut in the next part).

I hope this wasn't too awful, I didn't really proofread it. You'd think someone who's been writing for over three years would be a little better at it.

[mesanthropi]

nothing came after (oc x shua /p)

fair warnings: i have no idea how exactly their dorms work or how they're exactly situated. i'm just braining. also i'm just kinda tired!! i was writing the second bit with josh when almosgt 1am hit hhh im gonna assume that near future weiss is just gonna edit the text formatting and higt post. so no, it's not gonna be proofread whatsoever. if i butcher your fave please criticize me godbless

i thought of it and fell asleep to it methinks. shua making bead bracelets and garam making yarn bracelets. then i woke up at 4pm and started writing

choi 'river' garam, helios, you know the guy. it'd been a week since it was announced that he was on hiatus, everybody knew that. garam needed emotional support every now and then, everybody also knew that.

but nobody really knows who he'll go to next. two days earlier, woozi was approached and the two had made some joke song together. just as a break from 'all the serious stuff' (helios' words, not mine). the other day, he was texting jun about the cats he'd seen on his most recent walk, comparing the older to the stray felines. and literally a few hours ago, he'd gone to dino's room to leave him a stuffed animal that he decided not to keep; it was a buy one take one deal. and dino was one of his favorite people out of seventeen others.

... haha, seventee- anyway. that's a lot of emotional support.

(it's what i want, personally.)

now garam had been staying in his room for the time being, having gone right back after giving dino that plushie and a hug. a bit of work was being done, non-idol work at least, and it involved a bit of handcrafting and drawing a few blanks. ("... i think i did this step wrong- fuck, i need to do it again.") yeah, the guy had been at this for a few hours just because 'he could and nobody could stop him', at least from what the ravenette had said in the groupchat.

at least he'd managed to make two of these mysterious things, because that was all it took before he got up from the floor of his room, and walked out the door. there was a faint smile present on the man's face, and it stayed on his way to one of the rooms on his floor. sixth one.

garam wordlessly approached a door, hung something on the doorknob, before sticking a note next to it. and like nothing happened, he was making his way back to the room he once sat in for hours that day. there was a little hum as he did, wringing his hands or wiping them on the fabric of his pants despite the lack of things to wipe off.

"hopefully that can make up for my spotty pop-ups," murmured the guy with eyes looking down at tiled floors like it was artwork. "... i'm sure he won't mind another one to add to the collection." his thoughts were barely above a whisper, tumbling from his lips like beads out of a box. which was funny, but not where he was exactly thinking, furrowing his brows. "he likes that kind of stuff. right-"

when he stopped himself, garam found that he'd been pacing around. he also found that he'd stopped in front of the first door he'd visited. unable to help how blue-grey hues bored into the wood, the ravenette thought for a few seconds. a moment. then he knocked thrice like he always did. "shushua!" then he ran like hell to his own room and hid.

what a kid.

joshua wasn't doing much, just watching the weather pass by while music played through his phone. mans just didn't know what to exactly do today, but did know that he'd be taking it easy, enjoying the tunes with light nods to its beats. at every song with guitar, his fingers found themselves holding an invisible instrument and placing themselves on a fretboard. just a fun little thing.

then he heard the knock at the door, and the sound of garam (who he honestly thought was fucking asleep) calling his name. the blond turned his head, blinking once. and then twice as he stood up to see why the younger could be asking for him. maybe shushua would be the one to hang out with the guy, after being cooped up in his room for so long.

"... what the-?" joshua heard a door close in the distance when he poked his head out, looking around and about. it was even weirder when he saw that it was garam's damn door. "garam?" called out the older, just to see if he'd respond.

...

nothing came after.

just when he was about to go back inside, he saw a note on his door, prompting the raise of a brow. "what are you up to this time...?" because notes either meant sweet message or a wild goose chase he'd fallen victim to. so plucking it off the wood, he read through the english letters written on there with pencil.

'shushua :) i know you like bracellets bracelets but i physically can't like. handle beads bc i will lose them and i still need to get new ones for you (yes im the one who took it BUT I JUST WANTED TO TRY AND MAKE ONE. NOT LOSE BEADS) im so sorry bro. im looking for one rn as ur reading this <3

so i js mde one out of yarn. i asked my sister to help me. we can match with the rest of the guys once i finish the rest of them. sorry if i scared u lol

- the sunday night to ur sunday morning'

he blinked before looking to the doorknob. the bracelet was adjustable and had a nice strawberry color palette, which lead shua to assume that garam's was the opposite with blue instead of red. yeah, with how the note ended, they really were night and day. opposites yet clicked like puzzle pieces. unable to help the way he beamed, the bracelet was taken and put around his wrist.

the ravenette stared blankly at his ceiling, gazing at the green stars scattered across it like a sky outside. maybe one day he can ask somebody to look at the real night sky with him. lie on the grass, say that the sky looks pretty while looking at anywhere else but the stars.

then again, the stars had always been his company.

...

nothing came after.