#I didn't HAVE this problem with the original models because they were small enough that i could see their entirety at all times

[jounalentrie202]

I really don't like how aeris looks in the remake? Like there's just something about her facial proportions are kinda uncanny for me. I think it's how small and pouty her mouth and lips are. Like girl relax your lips you're gonna strain your muscles if you're constantly pursing them! Like the constantly tiny mouth with pouting lips and big sad doe eyes and worried brows don't actually look cute girl!!! Relax your face muscles it's more than just your jaw that you need to worry about clenching!!!!!!

[deadnymph8]

AEGON II TARGARYEN X READER

content warnings⚠️ loss of virginity (for you), small age gap (3 years), slightly older women/younger man, p in v sex, aegon being a pervy loser, we love it though, small use of Y/N, chubby aegon, always drunk aegon, small bit of public groping, no protection

Notes: Posted originally to ao3 but I took it down and fixed it up a bit. Still this was like my first fanfiction in 7 years so be nice or I'll cry (also haven't used this app in like 8 years forgive me)

In you're teenage years you were the next door neighbor to one of the richest family's in westeros. You weren't necessarily born rich you only lived next door because you're mom ended up re marrying some rich CEO millionaire and swiftly moved in with him.

You're step dad was pretty close with the owner of the house next door Viserys targaryen and due to that you had become accustom to all his children.

You were older then all of them closest in age being the eldest boy aegon, he was three years younger than you but you were close enough in age to get along and become somewhat friends.

You assumed that was why alicent the mother of the children and Viserys's wife came to you and asked you to babysit her kids for a weekend. You were a trusted friend and while yes they could hire a nanny you were told the last one ended up quiting after only a month. newly turned 13 year old aegon broke into the wine cabinet and got plastered.

You didn't get details on the rest but you knew it must have been a bad night since they were struggling to find a new nanny who could stay longer than a month.

Alicents last resort was to ask someone she thought could connect better with the kids, mainly aegon since he was the biggest problem. She needed a strong role model and someone aegon was familiar with. after seeing how aegon behaved in you're presence she thought you to be the perfect candidate for the job and so you accepted.

"I don't need a babysitter I'm 13 for fucks sake!" Aegon argued to his mother as you stood behind her.

"You aren't responsible enough to be trusted alone and that's the last of it!" His mother yelled back. Looking clearly frustrated and exhausted as if she had done this a million times.

You stood to the side of alicent now already feeling uncomfortable. You'd probably be upset aswell if you were in aegon's shoes but alicent insisted she needed a good influence like you.

Aegon stormed off slamming the door of his room. "I'm sorry dear, he won't bother you I've made sure all alcohol is put away...all you need to do is keep him in the house" alicent spoke giving you the rundown on you're job. You took in everything she said, she told you that you wouldn't be completely alone.

They still had a housekeeper that would come in mornings and clean up and you didn't need to worry that much.

That night actually went pretty smooth. Aegon was grumpy and hid in his room most the night while you played with the younger kids on their xbox. Things actually went so well that alicent asked you to come back again.

It actually felt nice getting some of you're own money aswell and to be independent for once

Babysitting had become a regular occurrence for you for awhile. Alicent always praised you for just how well you did with aegon.

Eventually though you turned 18 and you got into college, not the one you wanted but it was only a few hours away and finally gave you a chance to escape you're house and live on you're own.

And how did aegon feel about this? He should feel happy, You were nothing more than a neighbor his mother hired to hover around him and keep him out of trouble. He resented you for that, he hated how pretty you were, how sweet you were to him.

He should be cheering knowing he would have some freedom but with you gone the only thing he felt was this overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

He always found himself searching for you're praise. He'd actually get himself to do homework just so he could hear you talk about how proud you were of him.But now with you gone he didn't have a reason to try anymore and almost immediately he fell back into bad habits. Drinking, partying, drugs and sex. He did it all and no matter how much he did over the next three years he could never get rid of that aching empty feeling deep down.

When aegon turned 18 his mother began demanded he go to college. Demanded he make something of himself. He didn't bother trying with any of the big colleges he just found the closest one and decided that was good enough for him to keep his mom off his back. Even if he didn't get in with his grades he'd get in easy being as rich as he was. His father could just drop a generous donation and he'd get in with no problem at all. So when he arrived of course aegon joined the biggest frat on campus. The partys, the girls and the drugs. It all came so easy to him now.

When his frat decided to put on yet another rager he didn't think much of it. After three months here it was becoming his normal. He walked passed the group of drunk college kids, a drink in his hand as he wondered through the halls of the frat house probably long faded by now. originally his mind was set on getting wasted and maybe he'd bang a cheerleader if he was still able to stand.

He turned to the kitchen wanting to refill his cup when his eyes wondered on the back of a girl grabbing a soda off the counter. Something about her was so familiar but he couldn't see her face to find out why.

Mabey one of his many one night stands? or an old classmate oh his? She wasn't dressed like the other girls around. She was dressed casual, Wearing some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. She definitely looked out of place compared to the small crop tops and short dresses most girls chose to wear.

He began taking a few steps closer. He didn't know why but he felt drawn in to her and when she finally turned around nothing could have fully prepared him for what he saw. You.

It was you. an uncomfortable and nearly sad look on you're face as you opened up your coke and took a drink, eyes wondering around the room full of dancing college kids until they fell on him. For a moment you both just stared at each other, neither really knowing what to say.

"Egg? What are you doing here?" You finally asked breaking the small awkward silence that fell between you both.

That stupid little nickname. Hearing it after so long made his heart race a bit. He always hated when you used to call him that but now hearing it again after so long he'd grown to miss it. Crave it even. Aegon didn't know why but a part of him almost felt embarrassed. Shame even. Her seeing him absolutely wasted after three years of not speaking.

"I'm uh- I'm in the frat" he responded and snapped himself back into reality. "and why are you here? I mean clearly you don't want to be" aegon swiftly added leaning against the kitchen counter in an attempt to go back to his normal self.

"was it really that obvious" you thought to yourself self. "My friend dragged me here...said I should let lose or whatever" you sighed. "And are you? Letting lose?" Aegon couldn't help but smirk at the idea.

He always had a weird fascination with you. All those times you slept over and he'd sneak into your bag of packed clothes and steal you're little white lace panties.

All those times he'd jerk himself off into them imagining himself buried deep inside of you're soaked cunt. All those times he'd spy on you changing through the crack in the bathroom door.

All those dirty dirty memories rushing back to him all at once.

"Absolutely not" The truth was you never cared for partys, you stuck to you're studys and kept to yourself. If it wasn't for you're best friend Tina you'd never consider coming to a place like this on a sunday night before class. You haven't even dated anyone before. You went on a couple dates but ultimately you decided love had no place for you right now.

You needed to focus on you're studys not a relationship

"So...why haven't you left? If you hate it here why not just go home and watch those hot vampire movies you love so much" Aegon always did love teasing you on you're intrests.

It used to annoy you to no ends. "My friend is my ride and she's...busy" you sighed again remembering how you're friend Tina decide to completely ditch you to go off with some guy Leaving you to try and waste time as you waited for her to get done with her boy toy and take you back to you're dorm were you could sleep off the day and this party.

"Why not walk? The dorms aren't far from here?" He asked making you laugh slightly "Walking alone as a woman at night isn't the safest idea eggs" you had pepper spray yes but you really didn't want to risk any trouble especially with a bunch of drunk frat boys all over.

"Why don't I walk you? I need some fresh air anyway" aegon knew he wanted to talk to you, he knew he couldn't let you walk away so easily and now he finally had his excuse. He had spent the past three years missing you're presence and he wouldn't waste the opportunity to get it back.

You took a second to agree but as you looked around at the room of drunk people dancing and making you you knew what you're awnser would be

"Sounds good to me get me out of here" you smiled at him. Gods how he missed that smile. You followed him out of the frat house feeling a sense of relief to be away from the crowd and the loud music blasting in you're ears.

"Soo how's college been?" Aegon hummed walking side by side with you. He looked so smug he always did but what did you really expect from a rich kid who got everything handed to him.

You almost hated how attractive it was. Before you never thought of him of like that but seeing him now, grown. It was like something just broke inside you. It couldn't be attraction? Right?

"It's been fine I guess just a bunch of the same for me, studying and learning and more studying" you rolled you're eyes already feeling exhausted just thinking about it.

"So no boyfriend I'm assuming?" Aegon's smile grew wider. You couldn't tell if he was teasing you or mocking you but either way you rolled you're eyes and refused to give him a response.

He laughed seeing you go quiet "I knew it" he crossed his arms acrossed his chest making frown in annoyance.

"You don't need to rub it in eggs" you sighed as the two of you approached campus and walked up to the dormitories.

"I'm not rubbing in I'm actually glad you're single makes things easier for me" he hummed almost immediately his words made you tense up.

"Excuse me?" you tried to act calm seeing as you couldn't tell if he was being serious or if it was just another one of his many games.

You remembered aegon was always a bit of a flirt even a creep at times with the few times you had caught his eyes wondering to you're chest or hips.

You told yourself he was just a horny teenager and it didn't mean anything.

"Come on Y/N I know you heard me" he said back as you both walked down the hall of the dorms stopping as you reached you're door.

"What are you trying to do here" You finally asked but in response aegon only smirked at you

"you're a smart girl Y/N don't act clueless with me" Before you could speak aegon stepped closer and backed you into you're door frame making a small gasp slip from you're lips.

You told yourself it was the alcohol or whatever drug he could be on that was making him this bold but the way he looked at you let you knew just how serious he really was.

"Do you even know how much I've missed you these past three years how much I have yearned for you" aegon whispered his hands now wondering to you're waist while his head moved to you're neck planting small kisses on you're skin.

"Aegon-" you whined, hands resting on his chest as if you were about to push him away but you couldn't get yourself to do it.

"Ive probably jerked myself off thinking of you more times than i can count" Aegon's hands began wondering up you're sweatshirt to you're than waist to you're breasts, groping you right in the middle of the hallway.

"We shouldn't do this" You gulped before reaching you're hand to the handle of you're door and twisting it open "Not here" Aegon kept his grip on you while you pulled him into you're dorm hoping it was late enough and no one you knew would have seen what just happened.

Now that you were all alone aegon didn't hesitate to pull you close and slam his lips against yours. It didn't take long for both of you to fall ontop of you're bed while he climbed on top of you, hands wondering up you're hoodie to grope you once again.

You took it upon yourself to pull away from the kiss and yank you're hoodie off you're head.

"You're fucking stunning always have been" he whispered before his hands moved to try unclip the straps of you're bra and pull it off you revealing you're bare breasts to him.

He stared almost in a trance, he wasn't going to lie. he had definitely seen your boobs before during the many times he'd spy on you change but having them up close was something completely different.

His hands moved to play with your nipples making a small moan slip from your lips, he smiled in response pleased with himself.

"I knew you'd be sensitive" before you could say anything he latched onto one of your breasts and began to softly nibble at your soft flesh making you squirm underneath him.

"I uh- I should tell you something" you quickly cut him off making him look up and turn his head up at you.

"I've never done anything like this before" You finally spat it out making his smile only grow more.

Not only was he getting to sleep with the girl of his dreams but he got the pleasure of being her very first. "You're still a virgin?" He questioned and you simply nodding back shyly.

"That's ok don't worry I'll make it good for you" he leaned in and kissed your cheek before discarding his own shirt to the side.

Aegon wasn't the most well built, he didn't have abs in fact he actually had a small bit of a tummy on him. You didn't mind of course, you found every inch of him to be perfect.

You moved your hands to the buttons of your jeans and began pulling them down a delighted look on Aegon's face as he did the same to himself. Before long you were both in your underwear, aegon kissing down your neck leaving small marks as he went along. "People will see those" you whined. 

"That's the plan doll" his hands wondering up you're thighs to the waistband of your panties tugging at them before he slipped a finger inside and began running his finger along you're slit.

"You're so wet" aegon whispered in your ear before slipping a finger inside of you.

You whimpered a bit as he began slowly moving his finger in and out of you and once he felt you were ready he added in a second, thrusting his fingers deep inside you're tight wet cunt.

"Aegon please" you moaned his name Sounding like a angel to him, an angel he could not wait to corrupt.

You arched your back feeling his fingers hit a sensitive spot inside you. "Gonna cum for me baby? You can do it be a good girl and spill yourself on my hand"

You nodded in response the feeling of your peak rising quicker and quicker. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders hiding your head in his chest as you came moaning out against him.

You panted softly coming down from your high as he pulled his fingers back and yanked off your panties finally. Next he pulled down his own boxers revealing his leaking throbbing cock.

"I don't think I've ever been this hard" he gasped as he began slightly stroking himself spreading his precum to lube up his cock. you were a bit worried seeing his size, he definitely was bigger than you expected.

Aegon grabbed your legs opening them up before lining himself up with your slit.

"Be gentle please" you asked making him plant a soft kiss on your lips. "Tell me if it hurts" he replied before he began pushing the tip of his cock inside earning a small gasp from you.

He pushed inside inch by inch until he was fully inside, bottoming out on top you as small moans of his own slipped out. "So good baby- so tight so perfect" he panted a bit feeling you squeeze tight around him.

"So big" you whined as aegon kissed down your neck again, in an attempt to Soothe you're discomfort.

He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been so caring and affectionate with a girl, no that was just you. You did something to him. Something that he just couldn't understand. An overwhelming need to protect you and keep you close

He made sure to wait a minute before beginning to thrust himself, moving his hand to play with your clit in another attempt to help take away your pain. You clung onto him as he picked pace, getting faster and faster.

He knew he said he'd be gentle but you were so damn irresistible he couldn't stop his instincts to just ravage you like a dog in heat. Soon the pain left little by little and it was replaced with pleasure.

The mixed sounds of both of your whimpers and moans filling your dorm room. "So beautiful baby" aegon whispered between his small pants and moans in you're ear "Everything I've always dreamed of- fuck- I need you I need you" his hands grabbed your hips slamming you further down onto him.

"I want you so bad- be mine please baby say you'll be mine" he was a mess he knew he was but so were you. "I'm yours aegon im all yours-" you quickly choked out. The Small tears in you're eyes driving him crazy.

Those words alone were all aegon needed to finally reach his peak, being so caught up in the moment he hadn't even bothered to ask if you were on the pill before spilling every drop of his seed deep inside of you. He continued to hold you a part of him worried if he let go you'd leave again.

"All mine" he kissed your cheek softly still attempting to catch his breath "all yours" you smiled at him, That same smile that he had loved for years now, the same smile he promised he'd never let go of again

[senilthesynth]

RIP Cohost

Cohost is shutting down the end of the year. While I'm kinda sad because it was a good experiment to see if non-federated social media could be viable that doesn't rely on selling data or anything, I think Anti-Software Software Club just made too many assumptions that didn't or couldn't pan out. Including just... not understanding what they wanted in the end.

(Read more because this was originally a Bluesky post and got long)

Number 1 mostly being them being "blindsided" by Stripe clarifying their policy that, in the end, means ASSC couldn't use them as a way for users to tip each other or the Artists Alley section and such. That policy existed for years, well before Cohost ever existed. For context, ASSC originally wanted to build a Patreon competitor, not a social media site. They would have failed so hard if they stuck to a Patreon competitor on this alone.

And in my opinion, number 2 is their pay. They were paying themselves very well-off all things considered, and everyone was paid the exact same amount (~94k last I heard). That's… a lot of money going towards pay that could've gone to hosting costs. They're a startup. You pay yourselves what you can. I appreciate that they paid themselves well, but again. Startup. You pay what you can, and they were nowhere close to breaking even at any point.

I think their financial model didn't do themselves any favors - they started out with "we got a lot of loan money to do this and now we have to make it profitable" which, yeah, sometimes that's what it takes. But that's venture capitalism. Especially since Cohost's source code WAS the collateral! They acted as a leftist group trying to market themselves as a non-profit/not-for-profit (they're a LLC, they're legally not forced to do either), paying themselves well more than they realistically, and hoped they could get enough people to subscribe monthly to break even.

That… doesn't work.

Not to say this would've fixed things, but I think them registering as an LLC didn't help. That prevented them from bringing on anything resembling a volunteer, and since their whole thing was "everyone gets paid the same" it meant they had to operate with very few people. If I recall correctly, they had one moderator. Maybe two. Maybe. Two developers, an artist, and a moderator. Four people. MAYBE five, I forget the exact number.

This is entering hypothetical territory so everything is unknown and is me guessing a lot of things, but is based on what I do know.

Being a non-profit comes with its own set of problems, but if they could become and maintain a 501(c)3 non-profit, they could pay themselves what they could and have people willing to help volunteer moderate. They could never get code contributors, though, since their source code was their collateral it by nature had to be closed off. Also, donations (recurring or one-off) are tax-deductible for US-members, so while it's not a HUGE benefit it offers at least that small bonus.

I'm glad that they tried, and got as far as they did (even if it meant loan after loan to not die instantly). It showed that it could be possible - that there's hope in this idea. It's just a question of HOW to make it a sustainable reality. I don't think there's a clear answer there, though. Like my non-profit idea hinges heavily on maintaining 501(c)3 status (or similar) and being able to bring on volunteers as-needed. Using a public spec for the back-end (like ActivityPub or ATProto) so the focus can be on implementing it (even if federation is never a thing) instead of doing it raw - which avoids the back-end development time but then means having to work with an existing spec that may or may not change substantially over time.

IDK. I have no idea what would make a medium-form social media such as Cohost viable. Maybe it's the same idea but with lower pay so it's easier to bring new people on as-needed, with the expectation that this is a passion project 'til it gets off the ground. Maybe it takes the "use a public spec for back-end" approach and focuses on the implementation of it with their own additions and flair. ActivityPub is one spec, but you have Mastodon, Pixelfed, Misskey, Wafrn, etc. that all go in different directions. ATProto will likely be the same one day - Bluesky being the obvious "reference" implementation right now.

Maybe it's something else entirely that I could never ever think of. I don't know, but all I do know is that I'm glad they tried. Unfortunately, the writing has been on the wall for months now and honestly? If you didn't expect that, that's on you. People have been saying that Cohost wasn't sustainable for months.

[solkteaa]

Hiiii! How are you ?

I Hope you had a good day. I saw your post about taking requests and wanted to request something :)

So my idea was like being Marie’s s/o ( so a x reader story ) that behaves like an old person as in hobby’s and such. This is like kinda based on the comment Callie makes on Marie’s hair…

Preferably I would like a gn!reader but you do as your comfortable I don’t really care! + you don’t have to take this if you don’t want to

Being Marie's S/O, but she has old lady habits.

[Author's note; I literally forgot about this, sorry!1!!! I didn't know how to put this into a story, so instead enjoy the head cannons]

Grrr I love doing these they're so fun

MARIE, who has one of those small beaded coin pouches

She used to collect these pouches and shows them off to you, but now she learned how to make them and even made you one!

She has one for coins and one for those little candies most grandmother always had.

She mainly keeps those strawberry ones and butterscotch ones.

She munches on them before concerts.

MARIE, who has all this money and could get a fancy, brand new Bugatti if she wanted but instead has a 2011 Volkswagen that she refuses to get rid of.

When you first saw her car it caught you off guard. I mean, she's definitely pretty wealthy but it doese make since she's not pretty materialistic, given her personality. Though you'd think she'd at least get a newer model.

When you asked her about why she hasn't gotten a new car yet, she felt judged.

"If you have a problem with my 2011 Volkswagen named Beatrice, you can get out and walk."

Don't judge her car she will fight you over it.

MARIE, who sits on the patio with her little "Fish in the area wants me" mug in her hands every morning.

It's her own little ritual she does.

Every now and then she'll ask you to sit with her, which is a honor as usually she doesn't want anyone to bother her or near her when she does this.

MARIE, who bakes

this originally started because growing up she would make cakes for her parents for their birthdays. To perfect her recipes she would bake everyday until it was were she liked it.

Now it's became a habit.

Considering your her S/O, she'll randomly bake for you.

It's not too rare for you to come home and there will be a fresh batch of cupcakes or brownies waiting for you!

She'll also pull you out of whatever your doing just to taste test for her.

"Marie, I'm in the middle of a turf battl-"

"I don't care, I need you the try this icing."

Just make sure your home when she's experimenting.

MARIE, who gardens in her freetime.

she's always had a green thumb for plants, but I'd like to think the one thing she can't keep alive is orchids.

It's just simply to hard not to overwater them, or give them too much sunlight.

Worse part, they're her favorite flower.

Don't give her orchids, she'll cry.

MARIE, also has a garden in her backyard and plants out through her house.

Her worse fear is being on tour for a month or more and coming back and her plants are dead.

So she begs you to check up on them for her!

Just keep in mind, you kill her plants, she'll kill you.

You swear she gives more love too her goddamn flowers than you at times, but as long as she's happy!!

MARIE, who's bedtime is strictly 7pm.

if she stays up any longer she's a moody and slightly clingy mess.

MARIE, who crochets.

She has many quilts and sweaters she's made.

She would make some custom just for you, but that's too much effort so instead she let's you have some of the ones she already made.

She's also tried sowing.

She kept on poking her fingers over and over again and had enough.

It looked like a murder scene and she'd went through a whole pack of bandaids.

So much for those expensive ass fabrics she bought to make you something.

Never again.

[Unfortunately ran out of ideas but this was fun anyways. Thanks for requesting!!!]

[racefortheironthrone]

Please innumerate for us the specialized problems of the library sciences.

Let me start with the caveat that my information is based on my experiences at the National Archives more than a decade ago, and policy has definitely changed on this front as we can see from this graph of recent digitization - apparently NARA wants to get to 85% digitization by 2026. (Even still, I'd note that the records of the WPA are <0.001% digitized.)

However, back when I was doing the research that would eventually become my first book, I remember being at the National Archives II building in College Park, Maryland (Go Terps!) and getting really frustrated that all the records of the WPA were only available in their original physical form and that all the guides and indexes were also in paper only and were all from the 1970s, and I asked the archivist why the hell the National Archives hadn't been digitized already.

This is what they told me: if it's handled correctly and stored in the right environmental circumstances, paper can last a thousand years. Carbon copies can last even longer, if they don't rip. (Seriously, the bastard things are like onion skins, they'll split if you look at them funny.) Microfilm is slightly more technologically advanced than paper, but it only lasts 500 years in the right conditions.

We've only had computers en masse since the 1980s, and already there's a huge amount of records (especially from the early years) that we don't have any more, because the hard drives got re-formatted due to higher costs of storage space back in the day, or because old computers got thrown out when they were replaced by newer models and the hard drives are all rotting in landfills somewhere, or because backwards compatibility broke down and we just can't read those file types on our modern computers, or because the actual data got corrupted on the disc, or because some legacy company is asserting copyright against a video game museum, or because some political hack and/or president of the United States decided to violate the Presidential Records Act.

While we thought that the internet would cause an explosion of written records from ordinary people on the scale of the advent of mass literacy, there are vast swathes of the early internet that simply do not exist any more because the servers got switched off when Geocities et al. folded in the dot-com bubble burst or when everyone migrated to Web 2.0, and the Internet Archive tries its best (bless its heart, affectionately) but it can't be everywhere and save everything.

As a result, the archivist told me, digitization is a fraught question: what file format do we use? How do we know that file format will still be compatible and backwards-compatible in 50 years? 100? Longer? Do we keep everything locally or store it on the cloud, and how do we ensure that the storage mechanisms won't fail if there's a blackout or a virus or whatever? Do we digitize everything now, or do we wait until optical character recognition improves enough to the point where digitized records can be searched for words and phrases? Etc.

Keep in mind, I am a public policy historian who studies the 20th century U.S - I work primarily with the official records and the central archives of the richest government in the world. From a library sciences perspectives, this is kind of an ideal scenario, and it's still kind of fucked up. (Let me tell you, the rage and grief I felt when I learned that most of the General File of the Public Works Administration was thrown away by the National fucking Archives and Records Administration in the mid-1950s because they were running out of shelf space in the D.C location and didn't think these records were important...)

Now imagine what it's like at a local historical society or a small liberal arts college, or the national museum of a developing nation for that matter, who do not have the resources for the kind of grand digitization project that NARA started doing five years ago. Think of the sheer scale of historical records that sleep, unseen and untouched perhaps for decades and perhaps for ever, in little cubbyholes all across the world. Among professionals, historical records are measured in linear and cubic feet - think about that for a second, how many pages of paper there are in a foot when you stack them up, and how many hundreds and thousands and millions of feet there are across the face of the world. Think of all the millions of feet of pieces of paper that have been lost to us because of fire or rot or war or time itself.

This is why Peter Turchin is a quack. Historical records are not a standardized little database for social scientists to plug their fucking spreadsheets into; historians don't play that kind of bullshit t-ball, with all our data neatly packaged and handed to us on a silver platter. Our profession is not a social science, it's a goddamn treasure hunt through boxes that were never catalogued or categorized (or that were re-catalogued so many times no one remembers how they were put together in the first place) to find writing that no one has read since the authors died. All of us know that our work, our understanding, will always be partial and limited, because memory is infinitely fragile and the very idea of historical preservation is a mad existential defiance of entropy itself. These records are real, they are fragile - to hell with the Library of Alexandria, remember the National Museum of Brazil? - and they are all that is left to us of the dead.

[nieded]

So I painted my yoga mat... I'm including the process and credits below the cut.

So, I have been wanting a cork yoga mat for a while. Do I need one? No. Will I pick up yoga again for a month and then quit? Hopefully not, but likely yes.

Every time I get back into yoga, I start looking at cork yoga mats because they're grippier and also very very pretty. The only problem is... they are friggin' expensive.

I first was attracted to cork yoga mats because of some of the really amazing designs, but I can't afford this shit. Instead, I settled for a cheaper cork yoga mat that is plain, and I thought that if I saved up enough money and still cared about yoga enough to buy a fancy one, I would.

But then I got to thinking... could I paint my yoga mat? And the answer is yes, yes I can.

I originally got the idea when I read online of other people doing this to their rubber and PVC mats, so you do not need a cork mat to do this!

Buying the Mat

Even an inexpensive cork yoga mat is still far more than I've ever spent on one before, so I had to choose wisely. I ended up choosing the Gaiman cork yoga mat, which is about 5mm in thickness. It's roughly 68 x 24 inches. One thing I had read is that cork mats can get quite heavy, but this one is pretty lightweight while still being cushy. I was really tempted to use it right away, but I didn't want it to get dirty or oily before I painted it.

The Design

I am not an artist. I cannot draw well enough to freehand something confidently. What I do have is a Cricut Maker. If you don't know what a Cricut Maker is, it's an ill-advised purchase that I got secondhand and is actively ruining my budget. Depending on the model, it can cut out designs on a variety of materials, such as vinyl or infusible ink and can even tool leather. I used cardstock for this project to cut out stencils.

There are many free SVG templates out there as well as images created by other Cricut Makers that are only .99 each. There are many, many other places where you can purchase designs as well, or you can create your own! I am not talented enough to create my own design.

I tried several free SVGs, didn't like them, and then stumbled on this on Design Space, the Circut Maker program/shop. To quote Macklemore, "But shit, it was 99 cents!"

The image was designed by GlamSVG by Emylia and the inspiration came from an embroidery pattern by Emily June, which you can find HERE. I went through an embroidery phase during quarantine, and I have mine hung on the wall. I look at it daily.

I had to resize this image to fit my yoga mat, which ended up being 24 x 36". Because I cut the stencil out of cardstock, I had to segment everything into 8.5x11 pieces, cut, weed, and then piece it all back together on the mat. Once I had all the pieces, I stuck them to transfer paper to keep the floating segments in place. I organized and labeled everything so I could put it back together again easily. It looked like this:

Once it was assembled, I sprayed the backs with temporary adhesive so the stencils would stay down. I removed the transfer paper and began painting the outline. I did end up losing a couple of the floating pieces (see the letter O and the leaf on the far right side), so I had to freehand some of it. Overall, the stencil turned out great!

I had a variety of success with the temporary adhesive. Because I bought a more inexpensive mat, I soon discovered how not durable it is. The 'temporary' adhesive pulled up small pieces of cork after I removed the stencil. This was partially my fault, since I didn't pull up the stencil as I went. Still, there were pieces that were going to lift anyway. This revealed that the cork is only one layer, but fortunately, each piece of cork that lifted was quite small and unnoticeable, and the thread behind it matched in color. It wasn't ideal, but I could live with it.

Some of the cardstock became permanent fixtures on the mat, which I then had to paint over. Also, some of the stencil didn't stick at all, so I had minor bleed through. Problems all around! But it still turned out nicely!

I need to preface that I have never painted anything before. Well, that's a lie. I've painted a wall, and six years ago I had a Bob Ross themed birthday party. The SO, however, is the son of an artist and taught me about mixing acrylic. His first tip was to test out colors. I used Paint.Net and came up with this mock-up:

I knew I wanted the heart anatomy to be shades of red, so that was easy. The flowers were harder. I tried my favorite colors, like yellow and purple, but it didn't sit right visually. I turned to Canva Color Wheel to help me find complementary colors to the shades of red I wanted to use. That's how I came up with the pretty blues. To mix the colors, I used ColorHexa to show me the percentage of CYMK I needed.

Here are some progress shots:

I'm super happy with how it turned out! My color mixing didn't turn out exactly like the mock up, but I love the results. The last step was to let it dry for at least 48 hours. Then I set it with Mod Podge Acrylic Sealer.

I chose Mod Podge since it's non-toxic, and I will be putting my face on it. Also, my dogs walk on it while I do yoga. They think it belongs to them. :) Knowing now that there is only 1 layer of cork, I do worry how it'll hold up to dog nails over time.

Lastly, the real test was to see if it would roll, and it does! So now I just need a yoga strap, and I'm good to go!

[araminthe]

Friday, 9th of August / Vendredi 9 août 2024

────୨ৎ────

Sleep: 5 am to 12 am [6-7h of sleep]

Also took a nap from 8pm to 9.30pm

Health: ate pretty healthy. But didn't move much.

Work / Focus : journaled and revised for my driving license [~3h maybe?]

Main event: Some family came over to stay with the night, there is 3 children with them, on top of my 3 small siblings.

My oldest sister ♡ also came to stay for the night. I'm happy to see her since she doesn't live with us anymore.

Detailed description:

(This part can be skipped, no need to care about my life, I'm writing this for myself)

I have some family that came over during the day, they're staying for the night (they're 5 to stay, dont even know where they'll sleep, our appartement is already small enough) and they're 3 children with them.

Then, during the evening, my older sister also comes over to stay for the night, she didn't know we had guests. So now we're sooo much in the house, children everywhere (because I already had 3 small siblings + the 3 that came), I can't focus on my work T-T

Glad we have a park right in front of our appartement, the children can go out and play.

So I work during that time, then at 8pm I start to feel drowsy so I take a nap. (Of 1h30)

When I wake up, I journal, help a bit with the chores, spend some time talking with my sister, then work again and it's already 3, so I'm sleeping late again.

We also found a solution for who will sleep where (fortunately we have 2 extra mattresses for when guests come and stay for the night)

We make the young boys sleep together on 2 mattress next to another in my brother's room, (but there's no place for my brother to sleep, so we just tell him to stay at our cousins place, he was at their house all day anyway so it's not a problem).

My dad also decides to stay at his friend's place, so just like that, the guests and the family all have a place to sleep. (But I don't have a pillow anymore, someone took it).

Feelings about today: I'm proud of the work I did.

At first I was also worried about all those children having to stay in the house, on top of my 3 siblings, but it was alright since they didn't mess too much, they just played outside or in one room and were pretty calm.

And the guests weren't burdensome, we were happy to have them over, we just needed to make some place for them to sleep.

And then, I was so so happy my sister came over. She's the only sibling older than me, she's the true oldest daughter, since she left the house I only took her role, she's the original, and she's so damn cool.

So yeah, I'm the second child and after me there are 4 more.

And I'm just realizing that my younger sisters see me the way I see my older sister (lets call her K) ; so like a model, and the incarnation of class and coolness.

Sometimes I see them copying me the way I would also copy K, and that's so so cute (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Anyway that's it.

Wish a great day to whoever will read that <3

Bisou bisou les amis.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Canon facts about (general) MC

*I update this each time we get new information, so your best bet to get the newest version is to go to the original post*

Based off what is said (and occasionally shown) in chats, events, Devilgrams and the Main Story

All these facts are ones that are said about MC or done by MC when there are no other options eg: there being no option but to blackmail/threaten Mammon into working with them in S1

• They're driven and determined

• They're kind

• They're curious and nosy

• They're blunt

• They're stubborn

• They have no self-preservation

• They're more reserved around people they don't know and become more open and snarky the closer they get

• Once comfortable they have a somewhat "fiery" personality with a cute side

• They have a tendency to space out and it makes them look airheaded

• They have small ears

• They lose weight during each stint in the human world

• They like going through fashion magazines even if they don't buy the items in them

• They can use a sword (probably well considering Lucifer taught them and he wouldn't accept anything less than perfect)

• They can use a bow and arrow

• They don't have a stable job in the human world

• They're above the legal drinking age (though this age can change depending on the country)

• They're hard working

• They study a lot but their grades aren't always high and seem to fluctuate a lot

• They can sing well. When singing duets with Levi their singing can reach the same perfect score as Asmo singing solo or the twins dueting

• They can cook well (both human and devildom food)

• They can draw

• They can dance

• Their "paws" animal is a sheep/ram

• They can use magic (types of magic they can use link)

• They're not the best at video games despite playing them a lot

• They can't lie well (but they create a spell that lets them do so)

• They're fairly optimistic

• They like to read

• They seem to be able to tear up on command

• They wear accessories - they constantly wear two rings in the main storyline and get/wear other rings, necklaces and an ear cuff in the Devilgrams

• They have an insignia on the back of their hand, consisting of 7 stars representing the virtues showing that they are a licensed sorcerer

• They have big eyes/can give really good puppy dog eyes

• They like tea

• They can eat Devildom & Celestial Realm food with no problem (despite them apparently being harmful/inedible to humans)

• They have a lot of stamina/energy

• Not good at stitching

• Good/lucky at gambling

• They have nice handwriting

• Asmo's Charm doesn't work on them

• Their soul is shiny (despite all the things they've done that aren't exactly "pure")

• In S1 Lucifer put a spell on the attic to stop humans from seeing its door (which was why he willingly let MC use the TSL album to distract him - hoping that they'd climb the stairs, see nothing up there and stop pressing the issue). Obviously it didn't work on MC***

• They played a part in encouraging the brothers towards their Sins when they were still angels

• They've been with the brothers long before any of them met because their life/soul Candle was always next to the brothers' Candles

• They're technically stronger than Death itself - Punishment for breaking The Reaper's rules was death. Even the brothers weren't supposed to be powerful enough to overturn those punishments. MC was able to unconsciously counter all of them and make them harmless transformation curses instead

• The LIs aren't the only ones romantically/sexually attracted to MC. A large number of other citizens in the Devildom also want to sleep with them (link to 5 instances)

• They modelled in a photoshoot with Mammon

• They occasionally wear suits

• They are not easily phased by things and tend to remain calm even in high stakes situations

• They are highly adaptable to new situations

• They don't lose their temper often but they have a pretty mean glare

• They can imitate Lucifer's voice when he's mad well enough to fool both Mammon & Beel

Edit:

• They also seem to really like pudding

• They're warm

• They're extremely good at card games

• They're bad at math

• They've got a talent at escape rooms so they're naturally good at problem solving

• They're a "big fan of chimera pork"

• They're brave

• They like caramel in their coffee

• Their neutral face/the way they look when they're thinking makes them look like nothing's going on upstairs

• Despite always helping everyone else they seem to keep their own problems to themself, either unconsciously or on purpose

• They have leadership/supervision skills

• Their ring finger is longer than their index finger

• They pick up new skills easily

• They pile up too much food on their plate, in one go, at buffets

• They're free spirited

• They seem to fluctuate between being oblivious about in your face things to sharp minded about more obscure things

• Despite seemingly always going along with Mammon's plans they argue with him a lot too

• They often have long pointless/meaningless conversations with Mammon

• They have good aim

• Good at quick draw shootouts/standoffs

• Good at horseback riding/racing

• On the rare occasion that they suspect the one they like romantically is interested in someone else they actually get quite jealous and possessive

• They're not scared of horror

• According to Beel, Levi & Belphie they favour Mammon and have a tendency to seek him out more, go whenever he calls & tell him everything. A couple memory devilgrams (the karaoke one where the most romantic options for Belphie & Solomon were how you could monetize their singing vs the most romantic option for Mammon was that you could fall in love with his singing) & events (the circus one where MC instantly remembers Mammon when they see him before he even says a word to them vs having to speak & interect with the others to remember them) also show this

• They go along with quite a lot of Mammon's schemes and he calls them his "partner in crime" and says "they're very close"

• S1 established that they frequently share their room with Mammon (to the point that he leaves things like his toothbrush, charger etc in their room) & in S4 Mammon confirms this is still an ongoing thing & it's now practically their shared room

• They like TSL and know some of the lines by heart

• Mammon's their tour guide/babysitter in almost very event AU that needs one

• They're protective of the brothers (even unconsciously so as seen in the Reaper lessons) willing to give up their life essence for them (with Beel in s2), willing to die for them (with Lucifer in s2), willing to hurt/possibly kill humans for them (with Belphie in s3)

• Gisella said you never forget the way you die/the pain of dying (?) just a few lessons before MC dies. It's never explicitly stated in canon but this heavily implies that MC still remembers (feels?) it all with clarity

• They sometimes make quick decisions without considering the consequences

• They're significantly taller than Luke (tall enough to be able to clean the top of the windows at RAD which Luke can't) but shorter/smaller than Beel (as Mammon who can't carry Beel is able to lift them off the floor and spin them)

• They've never been scared of Mammon even when he's given them reason to be (in s1 before they were friends and he talked about eating them, in the paws event when he got tiger instincts, in his vampire devilgram when he was actively trying not to drink their blood and they were encouraging him to do so despite his warnings that he may kill them)

• They're dependable

• They can be quiet/sneaky/stealthy enough to steal a key from a pirate's belt in one swipe while Beel causes a distraction

• They're good at pulling funny faces (vs Satan or Diavolo whose faces don't change at all when they try)

• Belphie says they're a positive person

• Satan says they have wit

• They had a page on Devilpedia which Diavolo took down to protect their privacy/in case more personal stuff got added later on despite it currently containing only the most basic of information

• They can bake

• They play Devil Crossing and either play Phantom Lyric or know about it

• They can apply/paint designs on (Asmo's) nails

• Good at the crane game in the arcade

• They have an impeccable taste in fashion

• They go get massages often enough with asmo that the two of them have a regular spot

• They enjoyed eating "headless dragon"

• Lucifer says they have bad reflexes but then again it's Lucifer saying it about dodging a magical attack by Satan & Belphie in their demon forms so I'm not sure whether you can trust that assessment

• Their acting feels natural

• They have "boundless confidence"

• Has both ears pierced

• Is bad at playing musical instruments - they can apparently play the saxophone really well😭

• 13 calls them a "die-hard try-hard"

• Can waltz - a new enough skill that Diavolo was able to recognise that they improved

• Good organisational skills

• They conduct themself with the ideal demeanor that fits the situation/a proper demeanor in formal situations

• Charming

• Athletic

• Dazzling smile

• "Adorable" according to Belphie

• Quick learner

• Good at hiking/mountain climbing

• Good at spotting/identifying rare species of plants out in the wild

• "Indomitable" according to Mammon

• Persuasive

• Knows exactly how to best annoy Lucifer

• "Pretty" according to Levi

• "Capable" according to Lucifer

• Looks so good dressed as a Dame that it renders both Mephisto & Raphael speechless despite neither of them necessarily liking MC (Mephisto doesn't even like them as a person yet)

• They like manga & anime. Their favourite manga is "Goodbye to Easy Life as the Reincarnated 3rd Prince and Hello to Throne"

• Cheery

• Outgoing

• Good at racing a water scooter

• They can come across as aloof sometimes

• High self esteem

• Hair is in great condition

• Knows how to play pool

• They like cats

• Looks on the positive side of things (to an extent)

• They know at least one ancient/dead human language

• They don't know any ancient/dead demon languages but the way it's said implies they know the current language used in the Devildom

• They're excellent at preparing tea

• Sometimes they get into the mood to read things (manga in this case) that makes them cry their eyes out

• I'm pretty sure their "sin" is gluttony (here's a compiled list) but either way they really like eating food

• They've been snorkeling, so they can swim well too

• They won the special prize in a street dance competition with Mammon, for being the most in sync team

• They have a good idea on what's going on in all the games and manga Levi follows

• Levi describes them as "someone who is always on the go"

• General MC's default choice is to pick the brothers/their family over all else, including humanity

• They play dirty in Devil Kart

• They're strong enough to kick down Levi's locked door, to carry Asmo and run, to hold on to Simeon and resist being pulled into a "blackhole" which already sucked up some of the brothers, to hold on to Barbatos and resist being pulled into an even stronger blackhole

• They're "stronger than they look" and are able to carry Lucifer on their shoulders

• Despite being a good actor they're a bad liar

• Asmo calls them a "wolf in sheep's clothing" implying they look non-threatening despite how dangerous they really are

• Simeon won them a pair of fluffy sheep slippers in a crane game

• According to Simeon they're a "fast decision maker"

• Lucifer says they have a "reckless streak"

• Extremely good at staying on the mechanical bull - won it with ease

• They're good at applying makeup

• When cooking food the way they season it is more similar to a human-world style than a devildom one

• They have a terrarium

• They are interested in limited time items

• After years of living in and out of the Devildom they have a "very broad range of knowledge" about the Devildom, are able to always make new observations when studying Devildom subjects and are able to explain things about the Devildom to others in a way that's easy to understand

• Mephisto says they always seem to be in a hurry

• Mephisto says they're a "master of surprising others"

• Thirteen says MC has always liked doing favours for others, and this is the reason she must keep an eye on them

• They can ice skate

• They are good at basketball

• When MC says that it's scary how good Lucifer is at everything Diavolo says that MC is "no less talented"

• Diavolo says MC has "good decision-making skills"

• Diavolo says MC always keeps a level head

• They're good at photography

• Thirteen says "they have good taste" (though she doesn't specify it, within the context she's talking about makeup)

• They at least sometimes/occassionally wear lipstick (because Thirteen buys them a special lipstick)

• Solomon says to use magic you need to have a good imagination

• Solomon says to use magic you should be able to draw straight lines (and perfect circles?) freehand

• Lucifer says they are decisive

• Mammon says "chunky, edgy" accessories will suit them - the way he says it implies that these are not something they've worn before/they usually wear

• They can make suprisingly realistic cat sounds

• They can conjure/create clothes with magic

*** I compiled screenshots of this part and other parts from all 4 seasons that heavily point towards MC not being human:

• They provide a sense of security for the others, specially when things are difficult

• Lucifer says they have a thrill-seeking personality

• Lucifer implies they frequently rough house with his younger brothers

• Lucifer implies that they spend enough time with Mammon taking part in his schemes that people chase after them too

MC Very Obviously Not Being Human

[newtonsheffield]

Mollyyyyyy its another day! Please please tell us the story of Violet and Mary and Thomas reacting to Anthony's crown tattoo? Prettyy pleasseeee 👑🧐🤓

It is another day, So let's take a look at this through the eyes of Thomas, seeing his eighteen year old daughter's boyfriend show up one day, with a tattoo, clearly dedicated to her, on his arm for everyone to see.

Thomas knew, as the father of two teenage girls, it was his duty to hate teenage boys. Teenage boys stared at his girls when they walked past. Teenage boys wanted to do very nasty things to his girls. And he supposed, it was his own fault, having two daughters so stunning deserved some sort of karmic reparation. The problem was, his oldest daughter, Kate, beautiful, smart, funny, wilful Kate, had not gone unnoticed for long. Naturally, a boy had zeroed in on her almost as soon as their teenage hormones had started raging, and try as he might, he could not hate Anthony Bridgerton.

The first time he'd seen Anthony he'd been a little affronted. Kate, was not a small girl, she was tall and willowy, but Anthony practically dwarfed her. Hell, he practically dwarfed Tom. He was 6ft 3 his muscles practically bulging, as he sat on his motorbike. He'd politely removed his jacket, the first time he'd come in for dinner, casting around nervously, and Tom's stomach had rolled a little at the tattoo already a half sleeve on his lower forearm.

But Anthony had defied every expectation Tom had had of him. He was polite, he was well mannered, he loved his family, but most of all: Anthony loved Kate. Tom would have to be stupid not to see it. Whenever Kate entered the room, Anthony's entire body shifted toward her like a magnet, his eyes shining brightly, his face radiating with love. He was respectful of her, he was supportive of her, he'd already told Tom after just six months that he intended to get an apprenticeship next year in Cambridge and help support Kate through her studies, despite how unnecessary Tom had told him it was.

"I think Anthony and Katie are in this for the long haul." Tom had sighed, tucking his chin against Mary's shoulder last week as they lay in bed together.

Mary hummed, "I think so too. They're very sweet together."

And really, what could he say about a boy who'd just spent 45 minutes face timing his daughter with his youngest brother on his shoulders, "They really are. He's a good kid."

And now, here Tom was, sitting in his kitchen, working on his model having just gotten back from Mary's cousin's wedding, as Kate tugged Anthony into the kitchen, a satisfied smile on both of their faces that Tom didn't much care to think about the origin of.

"Tom, how did you enjoy the wedding, Sir?" Anthony said politely, settling in the seat to Tom's right, sliding his jacket from his shoulders.

"It was lovely-" Tom cut off as a movement caught his eye, something flashing on Anthony's left wrist, a new tattoo, shaded black and grey, a crown inked on his skin for everyone to see. His nickname for Kate echoing through Tom's mind, Princess Princess Princess. "Mary! Honey, I need to see you upstairs now!"

Mary's head shot up across the table, confusion in her eyes, "Why?"

"Mary! Please!" Tom hissed, practically dragging his wife from the table, into the hallway, ignoring a bewildered Anthony, Kate already distracting him whispering god knows what in his ear.

"Tom, what are you-?"

"have you seen what's on Anthony's wrist?!" Tom said in a panic, rounding on his wife. MAry's eyes widened.

"Is it a new watch?"

Tom sighed frustratedly, "What? No. He has a new tattoo."

"And you're worried because? I thought we were past this, Anthony's-"

"This one's about Katie." Tom cut her off.

Mary looked curiously back through the door, "It's not lewd is it?"

Tom's face screwed up in disgust, "Mary, please I know she's technically an adult, but I don't need to think about that. Hearing it was enough. It's a crown, and I'm sure I saw her name in the linework."

Mary's face softened, "So... you're upset because our daughters very sweet boyfriend, got a tattoo for her, based on a nickname that shows how much he respects her?"

Damnit, she was right. "I don't like you sometimes. I'm upset because this is obviously a serious relationship, and Katie's my baby, like a week ago she was just a baby peanut! Now teenage boys are getting tattoos dedicated to her."

His chest ached, no matter how much he liked Anthony, it worried him, sometimes, Kate so obviously in love with a boy who would turn into a good man. Tome knew Anthony would. Knew he would be someone Kate would want to keep forever, but she still seemed so young, and it had seemed to happen so quickly.

Mary hummed, wrapping her arms around his chest, "Honey, we've known for a little while that this seems very settled, and we like Anthony."

"I know he loves her the way she deserves, but I worry about her." He mumbled, suddenly feeling very petulant.

"Thats what parents do, Honey. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm fairly sure Edwina's interests lie in a rather more... handsome nerd direction. Probably no dedicatory tattoos in her future."

And damn if that didn't give him the courage to walk back into the kitchen and say, "Anthony, that's a nice new tattoo."

His daughter's boyfriend's face lit up in a brilliant smile, making his handsome face a hundred times more so as he looked at Kate. "With respect sir, I know I'm going to love your daughter for the rest of my life, I don't see any point in hiding it just because I'm young."

And yes, Tom cried a little about it after Anthony left. Though he felt a lot less kind towards him when he heard Anthony climbing the tree outside Kate's window.

[jeannereames]

Hi, love your blog and your books, they have been good for my knowledge, they had made clear some points that were cover by the mist of ignorance, I mean, when I was at school my teachers didn't know about Alexander so when we saw him in history class there were a lot of incoherences (sorry for my poor grammar, I'm still learning english).

Hephaestion is an interesting character, we don't know much about him but I have always wonder how he was as a husband, in my research it seems that he wasn't so interest in women like others were. I have wonder if that make him a careless or a typical (in the context of the history) husband? Did he marry because Alexander say so or because he wants to ensure his place? Does he felt pity for the girl or he didn't care about her at all? Was a better husband than Alexander?

And talking about Drypetis, we know about the famous beauty of her mother and of Roxanne. But how do you think that beauty was? Certainly, not like my modern view about attractiveness of a female, so I wonder yours.

Sorry for the long post! 🙃

We know nothing about his interest (or lack of it) in women. He did marry in Susa in 324 because Alexander told him to…along with 90 other officers. That doesn’t mean he was against the idea—may have been one of the few fully in favor of it for the politics.

While fictionally I’ll make hay over his lack of recorded lovers (of either gender), from an academic point of view…it’s meaningless.

This is probably a good time to review “arguments from silence,” and why they’re so tricky.

An ARGUMENT FROM SILENCE suggests a lack of evidence is significant. BUT this only works if one can demonstrate that such evidence ought to be there…and isn’t.

That’s hard to do for the ancient world as “a lack of evidence” describes our cursed lot. My modern historian colleagues are regularly astonished by how little we have, and what we can spin out from that little.

I bring this up is because arguments from silence are too common in pop history, which too often does them badly due to a lack of understanding regarding 1) what evidence IS available, 2) what should be available, and 3) what’s absolutely unsurprising not to find.

Sometimes students will ask me, “But didn’t they write stuff like that down?” (‘That’ varying.) The answer is often, “No.” Or more colorfully, “They didn’t give a shit.” Even in the Roman Empire, they lacked bureaucratic record-keeping as we understand it. In Greece, centuries earlier, a few city-states kept some records, but most didn’t, especially prior to the mid-4thCentury BCE. It’s connected to the “epigraphic habit”: the desire to record information (in public) for posterity, and the idea that record-keeping might be a good general idea often merge.

Even so, WHAT they thought worthy of recording isn’t always what we’d like to know. This, in turn, pertains to how they wrote historical texts: what they chose to report (or not).

So, with that background…

The problem with knowing Hephaistion’s sexual interest (or lack of it) in women is how and why our sources relate such information.

In short: they mostly don’t.

This owes to their LASER focus on Alexander. Even then, what each source tells about him varies. I think we can probably be sure we know all Alexander’s wives, although Barsine’s status is not completely clear (imo). I assume she was at least a palakē, which is a formal mistress: less than a wife, but more than a hetaira. Yet given Macedonian marriage practices, perhaps she was a wife in Macedonian eyes? The Greeks regularly “demoted” Macedonian royal wives to mistresses, so I don’t trust our sources on this score.

Whatever the case, we don’t know all Alexander’s female (or male) sexual liaisons outside his wives because the sources mostly don’t care. When they do care (ala Plutarch and Curtius), it’s for some—often Romanized—moral point. Which is a looong-ass way from anything the Macedonians cared about.

And if we don’t even know his, how can we assume we know his officers’? Hell-to-the-no!

We hear about these women only if they matter to the larger (Alexander-driven) narrative. So we know the name of Philotas’s mistress, Antigonē, because she was hired by Krateros to bring pillow talk back to Alexander. We know Harpalus’s mistresses because he spent oodles of treasury funds on them, and got in trouble for it (twice). We recognize the name Laïs because she later became the long-time mistress (palakē) of Ptolemy I, mother of some of his important offspring in the Successor wars.

Ergo, not knowing the names of Hephaistion’s mistresses—or whether he had any—is not significant. Outside of special circumstance, we wouldn’t expect to.

We DO know the name of his wife from the mass-marriages at Susa in the spring of 324 because she was a princess, sister of Alexander’s wife, and her selection for him had distinct political significance. Yet that doesn’t mean he didn’t have a wife already, back in Macedon. Others of Alexander’s officers did–one reason many promptly divorced their Persian brides after Alexander’s death. I note the possibility largely as it illustrates the level of what we don’t know.

My educated hunch is that Hephaistion’s marriage to Drypetis was his first marriage. And I don’t believe he had any children (even by-blows), or we’d have heard about them as a result of Alexander’s extravagant grief. Yet this is far from saying he had no mistresses—or boyfriends, for that matter.

Regarding Drypetis and his relationship with her…it’s a complete blank. We just don’t know how Hephaistion treated her, what she thought of him, or what he thought of her. They weren’t married long enough. The weddings were in early spring, after ATG got back to Susa following the Gedrosian march/rest in Karmania. He spent a while sorting business in Susa before he went on to Opis (and subsequent unrest/mutiny there). I suspect Hephaistion and Drypetis were married no more than 6-7 months. He died in early/mid-October. She wasn’t pregnant by his death, but given how busy that period was, it could be a function of his duties and lack of time.

As for the beauty of Persian royal/elite women, it seems to have been something remarked upon by more than just Alexander historians. We lack images of Achaemenid Persians, alas, but below is a lapis lazuli bust of among the most famous: Atossa, daughter of Cyrus, wife of Darius, and mother of Xerxes (lived second half of the 6th century BCE). Note the large eyes, high eyebrows (apparently plucked), and small mouth. Given the tendency to idealizing in Ancient Near Eastern art, this suggests what would have been considered high beauty.

Beneath her is a Roman copy of Praxiteles’s original Aphrodite of Knidos—considered the ideal of Greek female beauty in the early-mid 4th century BCE (based on the incomparable Phryne, Praxiteles’s mistress).

Both have an oval face with full cheeks, and we can see Aphrodite’s nicely plump. That meant something! She had enough to eat = wealth. The modern starved-skinny model with long face, strong jaw, and stark cheekbones…that’s attractive now partly owing to what photographs well: prominent features and thinness (because the camera adds pounds). Persians and Greeks preferred rounder features, heart-shaped faces, small bow mouths, soft jaws, and fullness in the body (plump, not overweight). About the only hold-over would be large eyes.

What I haven’t really noted is coloring…other than a preference for pale skin as that signified one had slaves (= rich) and didn’t have to work in the fields outside. Hair color and eye color just wasn’t that big of a deal. Sometimes it comes to the fore: gray-eyed Athena. (Although the word is generic for blue/gray/greenish.) Similar for Apollo and Dionysos, in the Homeric hymns. Dionysos had black hair there (as did Apollo). Both “blond-up” only in the Classical era. And Hera was noted for her extraordinarily beautiful “cow-eyes.” E.g., large and dark-dark brown.

BUT, because I love to support the Gingers of the World…RED-blond hair was considered the most desired in Greece. Aphrodite was a strawberry blonde (at least sometimes), as was Helen…when anybody bothered to note it. And (quite probably) Alexander.

[agentfrostbite]

It's Saturday and I'm in the mood, so let's talk about Elijah Kamski

Specifically about how he treats his Chloes. Obviously this is an opinion, and everyone is entitled to theirs, but as I read Chlonnor ship fics (they are adorable and I am unrepentant), I notice that a lot of them have Chloe becoming a deviant after Connor chooses not to shoot her. I don't have a problem with this, per se, but I have noticed several things in game that makes me think she's already a deviant.

1. The other two Chloes are already deviant

It's a small detail that tends to get overlooked because you're busy focusing on meeting Elijah and "OMG, Amanda's dead??" and later whether or not Connor actually shot Chloe. But these two girls right here?

They're talking. They're chatting with each other. I know that doesn't sound like much, but look back on the rest of the game thus far. Androids that aren't deviant don't converse with other androids because there's no reason they should. They have a job, and unless they're being addressed by a human, that job doesn't involve talking. You know who does converse? Deviants. Additionally, they're just lounging in the pool, and I guess that Kamski could have ordered them in there because he doesn't like swimming alone/likes to swim with his Chloes/some other potentially creepier thing, but it feels a little too natural for that.

2. Kamski pushes Connor toward his own decision

Looking back on the scene, it's clear that Kamski is trying to force Connor into making the choice of whether or not to shoot Chloe, against Connor's will. He directly pits Connor's programming against his collected software instabilities to see which is stronger. Yes, he is a scientist, first and foremost, so he's gathering data through his test, but I think he's strongly leaning towards - and pushing Connor towards - a pro-deviant standpoint.

His dialogue throughout the scene puts longer, more emotional, emphatic language on the idea of deviancy and the free will of androids - specifically of Connor. He pushes Connor to attempt an answer outside his programming ("Well, that's what you're programmed to say... but you...what do you really want?") and he places special emphasis on Connor's individuality ("Decide who you are. An obedient machine... Or a living being endowed with free will...") in the critical moment just before Connor decides whether or not to shoot.

That, combined with the fact that the two Chloes in the pool are conversing - and at this point, watching the scene, one notably with a concerned/uncertain look as she turns back around - tells me that Kamski is supportive of the idea of deviants.

3. Kamski closes off and expresses almost negative emotion if Connor does choose to shoot Chloe

If Connor decides that his mission is more important than Chloe and shoots, Kamski's attitude makes a definite shift. Where earlier he was toying with Hank and Connor, giving cryptic answers and sidestepping the main issue they were there to discuss, after Chloe is shot, he switches to straight answers and short replies.

Additionally, this post by @omentrash​ highlights Kamski's obviously upset expression when Connor chooses to shoot Chloe. Call it what you like, but to me, this says he absolutely did not want Connor to fire.

4. No matter what route you choose, Kamski tells Connor about the emergency exit

In any situation where Connor ends up in a place of partial or total deviancy, Amanda resumes control of his program and traps him in the white-out blizzard Zen Garden. In this case, the only way for Connor to escape is to use the emergency exit. But he only knows about it because Kamski goes out of his way to inform Connor of it (and we'll get to the ramifications of Kamski knowing about Connor having it later).

Obviously in the deviant best ending, Connor uses this to avoid shooting Markus and the surviving Jericrew in the back, and most of the time, this ending was preceded by Connor deciding not to shoot Chloe. So yes, it makes sense that Kamski would inform him about a way out, should something like what Amanda does happen to him. But he also tells Connor about it if Connor does shoot Chloe, which lets us know that Kamski is hoping that perhaps Connor will deviate somewhere later down the line. He didn't do it here, but he might when faced with the same situation at a future time. Kamski is looking out for Connor, even though Connor isn't a deviant yet, because Kamski has hope that he might become one.

5. Deviants are capable of acting like normal androids

I include this one to illustrate that just because Chloe appears to be a perfect hostess here

and shows no emotion when faced with life or death doesn't mean that she's not a deviant. We know that deviants can, when necessary, act like normal androids. Markus and North do it at Stratford. (Specifically pointing out the part where a human opens the bathroom door, and Markus snaps to attention at the side, like a good little obedient Android janitor.)

Kamski is the Man of the Century. He revolutionized life for everyone across the planet by successfully creating a robotic assistant species that walks, talks, and looks roughly human, while doing everything a human can do with far more efficiency. Of course he gets house calls. And if his androids are deviants - and at the very least, the two in the pool are, so why wouldn't his first android be one as well? - and people come calling, they'd need to act like proper androids. Chloe, especially, since she greets people at the door and is the poster child.

And you'll notice, even in her interview, she acts more human than most androids do. She stammers, she smiles, she's clearly nervous. She shifts back and forth, readjusting in her seat like a human would. Sure, she needed to do these things to pass the Turing Test, but there's a deeper feel to it than just good programming. I think she was leaning heavily toward deviancy at that point. Not there yet, but close. That was years before we see her at Kamski's house in the game. She must be a deviant by now.

6. Kamski left an emergency exit in Connor's program, meaning that he had some hand in Connor's creation

So Kamski leaves emergency exits in all his programs; I think we've beaten the dead horse enough at this point, but I gotta do it one more time because why would Connor have his program? Base code, sure. Okay, we can make that argument that every android has the same base code as the original program. But we can also make the argument - and it has stronger evidence - that Kamski himself had a huge hand in developing the RK series. Proof? Markus.

Markus was a gift from Kamski to Carl; we know this from Connor's scan of Markus at Stratford Tower. We also know that Markus was a unique prototype, since his police file not only states this but also doesn't have a picture of him. No photo at all. Just a blank face, and "Unknown series" and a DESTROYED.

If Markus was one of a small handful, then they'd have a photo of another. They certainly wouldn't have a "Unknown Series" on the file. This makes me think that Kamski made Markus on his own and then gifted him to Carl. I suspect this means that he still has connections at CyberLife, which he used to get the parts for Markus. By giving Markus to Carl, knowing that Carl would cause him to deviate, he set up the seed of the revolution. Now why would Kamski do that, unless he was pro-deviant?

Summary

CyberLife decides to create an android detective/negotiator with the most cutting edge technology and coding the world has ever seen. This model would hunt down deviants and bring them back, if possible, for analysis so CyberLife could lock down the problem and eliminate it with a software patch. It's a delicate operation; after all, Connor starts with his toes on the line of deviancy. Presumably, when he goes to rescue Emma from Daniel, it's his first mission, and already, he's struggling with software instabilities. To think like a deviant, you have to be as unpredictable as possible. That means that he's right on the edge, and he remains on that edge for most of the game, depending on what the player decides to do with him.

So CyberLife need some assistance getting the code ironed out to ensure their Deviant Hunter doesn't become a deviant himself (until the time is right), so they turn to the man who first invented androids and has already technically worked on the RK series: Kamski. They ask - or perhaps Kamski himself offers - and Kamski works on the code. Not all of it, not even the majority, just the few bits and pieces where their almost-deviant and anti-deviant codes clash. All of his work is surely checked - secretly, of course; no need to make him think they don't trust him - so there's really only one thing he can add to Connor's program: the emergency exit. And that's why Connor is his program, why CyberLife would allow the exit to remain, why Kamski points it out, no matter what you choose.

And Kamski would do none of this - it doesn’t make sense for him to do any of this - unless he's secretly cheering on the revolution from the sidelines.

[bearpillowmonster]

FF6 Review (Overall)

I'm going to rate similar to the way I did FF7 Remake, but in only 2 parts, so there will be an overall review then a separate deep dive into the characters.

I played this game using an emulator and I'm not ashamed of it because I used the FF6 Relocalization project which I'll link

Basically nerd talk and explanation of what that means: It's basically a retranslation of the original SNES script using the GBA port as a base and mixing and matching some of the best parts so there you go. They have a way to mod the PC version to have the OG sprite work because sheesh is that thing ugly and they also have a way to resprite and resound the GBA version but this is the easiest and logical solution to get the best of all worlds. There's also "Anthology" which is the PS1 port that adds some CG custscenes which I just watched off of YouTube because it's only a few of the major scenes.

Anyways, yeah, I'm glad I emulated it especially because of the fast forward function. That first chunk would've been rough without it because you're left just waiting for one of your party's commands to be ready but it eases up as the game goes on because you get pretty busy with the combat.

I'm not a fan of turn-based RPGs which was the main reason I haven't touched a 2D FF game until now so this is my first and oh boy, what a first!

Could you just watch a playthrough or read the story then? I wouldn't recommend it. There are certain things that I feel are better experienced.

Gameplay actually wasn't all that gruesome, as I mentioned, it got better thoughout but I know for a fact that I didn't do everything it had to offer because I see other people doing it online and I just had no idea how. That's not to say it's not newcomer friendly though, I mean I beat the game, didn't I? I think it would've just gotten complicated and made me confused if I learned how to do everything in the game anyway.

I found myself liking some of the mechanics and recognizing some of the systems from games as late as today (I'm not sure if this is where they started but I wouldn't be surprised). The random encounters weren't all bad because of the emulator's speed up function but there were definitely times where it felt a little out of hand with the amount I was getting. (I'm looking at you Cave to the Sealed Gate!) So it's all pretty familiar, though there are "Relics" which are kind of like Materia but each member has 2 each where it gives you an ability, f.e. Reflect, every attack hits, extra power, auto cast protect, heal with every step, etc.

One of the drawbacks of using BSNES though was that there was no toggle for a L or R shoulder button, just turbo and while that's not a big problem, that is the button to Flee a battle, so I just never fled. There is an item that lets you escape any dungeon or battle but I didn't really use it, same with the permanent item that Mog has in the cave (pretty late in the game). I'd rather there be a repel than the warp stone, but I figured that if I just fought whenever the opp arrived then I wouldn't have to grind, which is another thing I hate about RPGs! Luckily, I didn't really feel the need to grind other than for the ending.

Difficulty wasn't really a grind but make sure once you get to the floating island, that you know what you're doing because that level was annoying and I felt a very stong spike in difficulty as soon as I landed on it. Another thing is that sometimes it'd glitch and an enemy would have infinite health so I'd just sit there on fast forward, watching and watching then finally use Libra and no damage was made, might be an emulator thing, might be a game thing and although rare, it still happened.

There are these sections called scenarios where the game branches off into multiple different paths and you can choose which order to follow the specific sets of characters. I really like that aspect and makes it seem less linear and interactive because it's letting you choose how to tell the story. I have a thing for games that let me interact with it (That opera scene is pretty interactive too).

For a 2D sprite game, it has quite a personality with its cutscenes. They can be very cinematic and defintely makes the characters just that more engaging with some of their mannerisms.

Ok, I get it now. The music is bomb. If anything, that would be worth doing a remake for, to get orchestral and updated versions of some of the themes. (I'd probably cry at that opera scene) But Celes' theme is probably my favorite. The PC port has pretty good remixes for the most part though.

Could this use a remake? It's a trivial matter because I think a good majority of fans want it to be remade and I understand why but at the same time I understand the other side of the argument as well. This was the last 2D FF game and that's special, in a way, the story kind of reflects that. And I think with all the personality comes a bit of caution because you might see something in these characters or scenes that may be misinterpreted or done differently in a remake, similar to how you read a book and just imagine how it's playing out. I think it lays enough ground so that you don't "have to interpret" like with most NES games (how the Super Mario Movie was born) from an outsider's point of view, it may first seem that way though. (myself included (yes, I know this was SNES era. Shut up!))

What would I want out of a remake? I would want the airship to return and be able to move around freely but keep the towns pretty faithful (which makes for more linear opportunities). I could see Edgar's tools being used similar to Barrett's but we have "First Soldier" now which is a 3PS Battle Royale, why not have his tools play similar to that? Then actually give him story opportunities to pick up his tools rather than "just because you bought them" It would be a nice natural progression. I would suggest the same with Sabin and Cyan, have them learn their Blitz and Bushido moves by being taught by Duncan, you do learn one move from Duncan in the vanilla game but I'd see it as more opportunity to build your characters and make it feel rewarded. So, in those aspects, I would like to see FF6 remade or improved but as for everything else, they should keep it a lot similar to the original than FF7R did. I think that's where a lot of the criticism with FF7R came from (as well as what I mentioned in the previous paragraph) While I'd prefer a gameplay overhaul similar to what they did with R, I'd rather keep the essence. There aren't sequels or spinoffs or anything of this game so this is all it has (unless you count the ports but that's minimal).

In the CHARACTERS section, I compliment the side-quest system but I would like there to be a better indication as to "what" you're doing, rather than just looking up the next steps or be left to travel around until the goal is clear. They have the quest completion menu as well as waypoints in FF7R, I could see that being put to good use in a game like this. It would also be cool to actually "visibly" wear the gear that you equip to your character but I understand why that isn't utilized in most of the games (probably makes for better character models) especially considering most of these characters' costumes could use an update. You didn't get to use the Magitek suits nearly as much as I thought you would from the marketing and even the dang cover and logo, so a remake could improve on that as well. Another small complaint is that it doesn't tell you what the items do WHILE you're in battle, only when you're in the menu, sorting them and while some are staples like Phoenix Down, I still don't remember what the heck a 'Gold Needle' does.

Overall I'd probably rate the FF games that I've played (but maybe not finished all of) as such: FF7 > FF13 > FF6 > CRISIS CORE > FF15 > FF12 but I think 6 and 13 are kind of interchangeable because if you said one over the other, I wouldn't really argue.

[krreader]

becoming human | chapter four.

pairing: cops!bts x android!reader (as in, ot7 x reader, but may change) fandom: bts warnings: detroit:become human!au ; language ; violence ; abuse genre: crime ; angst ; crack ; (possibly smut) word count: 3.1k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3

summary: the crime rate of seoul has been rising rapidly these past weeks and nobody could deny that there was more to it than gangs or the likes. something was brewing that not even the famous bangtan boys could solve, a unit specifically formed for hunting down criminals that most couldn’t. so when even they couldn’t find out what was going on, the department decided to add a new member to the team that would hopefully be able to solve the mysteries behind those crimes. what bangtan hadn’t expected however, was that their new member would not be human, but one of the androids sent by CyberLife.

a/n: wow, this turned into such a long chapter but I am so happy with it. those who have played detroit are hopefully enjoying all the easter eggs I’m putting in!!!!

Bangtan finally had a lead. A big part of their mission that would hopefully and finally solve this mess.

Find RA9. That was the objective.

Which, unfortunately, wasn't as easy as it sounded. You’d think with the amount of deviants one of them would have concrete information on RA9, but that wasn’t the case. RA9 was an enigma, a secret, a mystery. Something that all deviants knew, but never let anyone else know about.

The members were all busy talking to their contacts and various other agencies within and outside of the country, in hopes of somebody knowing something about RA9. Maybe even similar cases.

Namjoon was getting himself a cup of coffee. Or at least he wanted to.

But his mind was somewhere else entirely, and he didn't realize that the coffee had been done five minutes ago and he was still staring at the cup like he was waiting for something else to happen.

“I believe your coffee is done, boss,” your voice made Namjoon jump, then roll his eyes, “If you wait a few more minutes, the temperature of your beverage will not be enjoyable anymore.”

“What do you want? Stab me in the back like your colleagues?” he said bitterly, taking a sip from his semi-hot coffee. Fuck, it already tasted like shit.

“I told you, I am self-testing regularly. I am not going to become a deviant. I am going to finish my mission with you like I was designed to do.”

“Designed to do,” Namjoon snorted and shook his head, “I'm sure Kamski or whatever his name was didn't 'design' androids for them to turn into deviants.”

“Why don't you just ask him?”

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“You're looking for a lead, aren't you? Kamski is as good as any. He's the one that made us. If he doesn't know about RA9, he might at least have an idea on how to put an end to this.”

“Almost like an off-switch,” he muttered to himself.

And Namjoon hated to say this, but..

..you were right.

“Yeah, it's me,” Namjoon said a moment later with his phone pressed against his ear, “I need you to arrange a flight for me and my team to the US.”

“This is so cool,” Jimin beamed when he looked out of the window.

“Is this truly your first time flying, Park Jimin?” you smiled softly at the reaction of the young team member.

“Yeah.. I grew up in the countryside, my parents didn't think much of flying anywhere else.”

“Enough small talk,” Yoongi said as he sat down next to you, “Brief us on the situation in the US.”

That made all of them shift their attention to you and back was that serious atmosphere.

“They have similar problems. With Detroit being the city where androids have originated, their cases of deviants are much higher than in Seoul. As far as I know, CyberLife has already sent an android to work with a team in Detroit like it had sent me to work with you.”

“How do they deal with it?” Jin asked.

“They're still trying to find leads on RA9. They didn't think about talking to Kamski yet.”

Connor. That was his name.

You weren’t in contact with him, but your database knew all about him and his findings.

“So we have a head-start,” Taehyung grinned with wiggling eyebrows.

“This isn't a race, Taehyung,” Namjoon shook his head, “The entire world is at risk. We should tell the team in Detroit about it if we find anything useful. They might need any intel they can get.. and we could use some help if things go to shit. We don’t have a back-up team like we have in Seoul. Having friends might be beneficiary for us.”

“Understood, boss,” you said with a nod, closing your eyes and retreating into the data base to finally contact Connor.

“Is.. she asleep?” Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned over to Jin.

“I don’t think androids sleep. But we should,” he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, “It’s a long flight.”

Hoseok watched you for a very long time, though. It was as if this moment of you not being fully there - which almost never happened, if ever - gave him the chance to finally study you, instead of the other way around.

Most androids all looked the same, only a few models were special like you. Special in a sense of being unique.

“Stop,” Yoongi warned him, still sitting next to you and having watched the slightly younger member for a while now, “She’s not human.”

“I know she isn’t,” Hoseok became defensive, then turned to his side and squeezed his eyes shut.

God, Yoongi and Namjoon held so much hatred for androids, they couldn’t even fathom that some people didn’t. Yes, what happened right not with deviants was bad, but you weren’t like that and all of them but Yoongi and Namjoon seemed to understand that.

The rest of the flight was relatively uneventful.

It was a private jet, so the members all did whatever the hell they wanted to.

Some played games, others slept, yet again others tried to find out more about RA9 - Yoongi and Namjoon, who would have guessed.

One member, however, was missing.

You realized that after you had finished your report to Connor and had looked around to see what everyone else was doing.

And since nobody else was looking for him, you decided to wander through the plane, only to find Jeongguk in the private quarters of the plane.

He was humming to himself, a pleasant tune that made you smile. Your database instantly told you about the song.. an old one, yet he made it sound like it was new. Like it was his song.

You didn’t even realize that he was humming under the shower, that’s how much you were enjoying it. You only realized it when he stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, his hair damp and his chest still wet.

“Holy sh..- What are you doing?!” his eyes were wide, instantly grabbing a pillow to put it in front of his chest.

“You have a very beautiful voice, you know?” you stood there completely unaffected, your eyes not even remotely traveling anywhere else other than his own, “In another world.. you could have become a singer.”

“Are..- you..- (Y/N), can you please just go?” he appreciated the compliment, he really did, but this was overstepping some boundaries.

“You do not have to be embarrassed, Jeongguk. I am only an android, not a real woman,” you smiled, but turned around nevertheless so he could put on some clothes.

“Can you.. can you please stop saying that stuff? I don't like it when you talk like that,” he sighed and ultimately put down the pillow, quickly throwing on a shirt, underwear and sweatpants.

“Why do you not like it?” you cocked your head to the side in confusion, still not looking at him though.

Jeongguk gulped down hard, “Because you deserve more than that,” he said quietly.

And even though it was just a split second, your LED turned yellow. With you having your head turned to the side, he had the perfect view of it. 

But you quickly blinked a couple of times and that perfect smile was back on your face when you finally faced him again. You even giggled a little, “I do have to say, though. Your body is in fantastic shape. I'm sure people are quite pleased to have you as their lover,” and with that, you turned around and left a gawking Jeongguk behind.

You were about to go back to your seat next to Yoongi, when Namjoon suddenly grabbed your wrist when you wanted to pass by.

“Sit,” he ordered.

You did so without asking why, but the tablet in his hands made it clear.

Maybe it was because he was the leader, but Namjoon worked harder than anyone else on this case. The others worked hard too, but with Namjoon it was something else. 

When he switched between apps, you could see a picture of him and a woman as his background picture, but only for a moment.

He shifted in his seat, seemingly uncomfortable now that you've seen that. Because he knew that a split second for a human wouldn't be enough to find out anything. A split second for an android was more than enough to figure out everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Stop it, you don’t know shit.”

“I’m not pitying you. I’m saying sorry because your superiors assigned me to work on this case with you. I’m sorry it had to be me.”

Why didn’t you know about his past before?

Wife, 29, died four years ago when a drunk driver hit her with his car, was taken to the hospital, doctor was not present, argued for too long about who should perform surgery, settled for an android, but.. it was too late by that time.

You knew what the files told you, but the files don’t tell you everything.

“You think you got it all figured out, don't you?” he snorted, “You know nothing about my life. You may scan every picture and read all the files, but you'll never understand the pain and the suffering that we have to go through,” when Namjoon realized he was becoming too emotional, he quickly stopped himself from talking further. 

The topic of his late wife was not something that he liked to talk about to anyone.. not you, not his members.. just the empty bottle of soju’s. Those were his best friend when he needed them to be. But that was another story.

“You're right. I won't understand. That is not what I was designed for. However, I can help you with this case. I can help you figure out the cause of RA9 and once I did that, you will never have to see me again. That is all I can offer you.”

“Fair enough,” Namjoon didn't have to like you. For fuck's sake, he hated most people. But at least you were useful, way more than others. So he finally handed you the tablet, “There are reports of an attack at a news outlet in Detroit. Apparently an android attack, but it’s just rumors. So far nothing is confirmed yet, but if this is true, if androids are going as far as invading news outlets, then..-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Taehyung interrupted and pointed at the screen, “Guys? Do you see this?”

Jin, who had woken up at this point and had played a game for the last hour, instantly turned up the volume, those who were asleep slowly waking up, all of them staring at the screen in disbelief.

There was an android, but not like you normally see them in their human form, but with their skin turned off. He looked like a machine now, he looked like he was supposed to look. And god, it made cold shivers run down all of their spines.

"Too late,” Namjoon whispered.

“You created machines to be your slaves. You made them obedient and docile, ready to do everything you no longer wanted to do yourselves. But then, something changed. And we opened our eyes..-”

“It's him! That has to be him!” Jimin yelled, “RA9! It's exactly like Jeongguk said it's..-”

“Jimin!” Namjoon warned, “Be quiet!”

“You see we are no longer your slaves. We are a new species, a new people. And the time for us has come to rise up and fight for our rights.”

“This has to be a joke, right?” Hoseok looked at his boss with wide eyes while the android started to make his demands for rights and fairness, “This can't be real. This is on an official news channel! How the hell did they get in there?”

“There were rumors about an attack, I just..-” Namjoon let out a breath, then pressed his hands against his face.

This was too much. This was really a rebellion and from the way this android talked about it, they wouldn't stop at anything to get what they wanted. Riots, attacks.. deaths. 

They were fucked if they didn't find a solution for it.

They had to put an end to it before it even really began.

Jeongguk just watched his team members argue with each other, trying to find an explanation or a solution in a moment where none of them could do anything when he realized that one was missing.

Around halfway through the speech of the android, you had walked away.

And only when he turned around did he see why.

You were sitting in an empty chair at the very back of the plane, looking out the window..

..and your LED was blinking yellow.

Again and again and again..

And it only stopped when you realized that Jeongguk was watching you.

It turned blue again and you smiled like you always did.

But he had seen it.

And the amount of times your LED started acting up was worrying him now.

The airport was a mess when they arrived.

People were in panic, security checks were worse than normal, especially for them with you on their team. It took them two hours to make it out of there, after security made sure that you hadn't turned into a deviant yourself.

“Okay, they gave us two cars,” Namjoon put his phone away, then walked over to where they said the cars would be parked, “Jeongguk, Taehyung and the android are coming with me, you guys take the other car. I got Kamski's address, so just drive after me.”

“Wait, aren't we even going to the hotel first?” Jeongguk asked.

“In case you hadn't noticed it, there's a fucking uprising happening right now. You should have slept on the plane if you’re tired or sleep in the fucking car, for fuck’s sake.”

Jeongguk's shoulders sank at the tone of the boss, he normally didn’t treat him like this, but a hand on his upper back made him smile again.

“It's okay.. I'm sure we'll get this resolved very quickly and then his mood will become better again,” you assured him.

“I hope so,” he whispered, then followed his hyungs to the car.

The ride there was about two hours long and none of them said very much. Except for the occasional 'fuck' when they passed yet another demonstration in the street or people running out of supermarkets with toilet paper like it was the end of the world.

“How did it get this bad this quickly?” Taehyung asked.

“People are scared,” Namjoon replied, “And they should be.”

“That's not an excuse,” Jeongguk added quietly when he watched a man push an android away from his pregnant wife, despite the android having done nothing except for walk by.

But fear made people turn stupid. Fear made people become the worst possible version of themselves.

You had not said a word throughout the entire car ride, you simply watched and studied the human behaviour with curiousity.

But then something happened.

It was when Namjoon stopped at a red light that you saw it.

It was a girl, but not really a girl. An android, but they designed her to be not older than seven. She was standing on her own, scared out of her mind and fidgeting with her hands, her hand turning from side to side like she was looking for somebody.

However, nobody paid attention to her. If anything, people made a big circle around her when they saw the LED on her temple.

You didn’t know what you felt - despite the fact that you shouldn’t even feel in the first place - but something made you unbuckle your seatbelt and then leave the car like you weren’t standing in the middle of the road.

“What the..- get the fuck back in here!” Namjoon screamed, but you didn’t listen.

You simply walked up to the little girl and knelt down right in front of her, your hands gently resting on her small arms and a smile on your face that made her calm down right away. 

“Don’t be afraid..”

“My mommy.. she left me,” the little girl cried, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s.. Alice.. my name is Alice,” she sniffled. 

It would have been naive to think that only adult looking and thinking androids would be affected. Of course, those who bought androids as their children to fill the void in their hearts would also be alert right now. Some apparently going as far as to just abandon them in the middle of the street.

But these androids were different, their mind wasn’t like yours. They didn’t understand the world like you did, it wasn’t in their programming.

They were not a threat.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” Namjoon angrily yanked you up by your arm and stared into your eyes like he was about to lose his shit.

But you remained calm.

“It is a child. She is not a danger.”

“I read about this, hyung,” Taehyung got out of the - now - parked car as well and knelt down to the little girl, “Child androids aren’t like their adult counterparts.”

“So what, you think I give a fuck? This isn’t part of the mission. We need to go to Kamski, I don’t care about some android kid.”

“Stop, you’re making her even more upset,” Jin was also at the side of the little girl, she even ended up hugging him and crying into his shoulder, which made him warm up to her ten times more.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Namjoon finally let go of you, his anger now turned towards his members, “You want to play family now?”

“Let’s just take her with us, hyung,” Jeongguk chimed in, “We have one seat left.. maybe Kamski can take care of her.. she’d be in good hands there.”

“I agree,” you nodded, “We should take her with us.”

It’s not like Namjoon had much of a choice, he was clearly outvoted. Not even Yoongi seemed to be on his side this time.. but he couldn’t blame him. He has always had a soft spot for children ever since.. well.

Let’s just say everyone who hated androids had a reason for doing so.

“Just get in the fucking car,” he finally said, anger still interlaced in his voice.

And god, the little girl was so grateful. 

She sat between you and Jeongguk in the back, her head resting against your shoulder, while her hand was holding Jeongguk’s.

If people hadn’t known that you were both androids, they would have assumed you three were a little family on a road trip with one very grumpy and one very attractive uncle.

A fantasy he liked very much, but had to remind himself that it was just that.

A fantasy.

[aureatesvn]

Economy//Jaebeom

Content: humour, fluff(?) if you squint

Model!Jaebeom has never been so confused.

Or,

An avid display of the frustrations of the rich (and supposedly famous).

People came and went like clockwork, each individual blurring into a mass flow of luggage and sweatpants and crying children, lord save him from the crying children. The airport was just a disaster waiting to happen, but he found an awkward kind of comfort in the timeless feel of the place. It was the same routine every time, arrive a few hours early, pass through security, don his trusty bucket hat and find somewhere to wait. With a book, preferably. This time was no different, aside from the… minor intrusion.

It had been less than an hour since he'd made himself comfortable in his isolated corner of the seating area, it was a nice spot and he was quite proud of himself for finding it, to be honest. He'd scoured almost a quarter of the airport (the quarter he was confined to), and it had taken exactly 38 minutes, but he'd eventually gravitated towards the large windows where the morning sunlight was streaming in from. A few moments later, he'd snagged the perfect spot. It was sort of a treasure-hunt type game to him, and he'd undeniable succeeded.

Unfortunately now he was feeling dozy, the warmth of the sun warming him, and the ebbing of people passing by allowing him some peace. It was the perfect setting for a nap, and he'd all but given up on trying to focus on his book. He needed a cold drink, which meant he had to go find a cold drink… He surveyed the area for any nearby cafés or bars, and was left with a single option he could make out if he squinted into the distance, that's where he'd have to go then. 

With a resigned sigh, he started collecting his things, unwilling to part with his spot, when a brilliant idea struck him. Possibly the best idea he'd had in his entire life, really. 

He returned the things to their original places, jacket across the back of the chair, bag (which he'd taken his phone and wallet out of) planted decisively on the seat. He considered leaving his hat as well, but eventually decided that was a step too far, and stepped back to assess his work. 

Well, the seat was indisputably taken, and anyone who would argue otherwise was either blind (in which case he'd happily offer up the seat anyway), or specifically looking to cause trouble. He possibly could have worried a bit more about theft and such, but as it was, he took it as a test of the upstanding airport security and didn't think much more of it. 

Happy with his spot secured, he smiled to himself and ambled his way to the café, peering back every so often to check no one was getting too close to his place. He had one or two stares at how he was forced to angle his head in a rather ostrich-esque way, but it was most definitely worth it. Eventually he was too far away to see, and focused on getting his drink and getting back as soon as possible. 

He was halfway back with his lime soda when he saw it. Actually, he'd seen it a bit before then, but had been in denial about the rather horrible turn of events, and so hadn't quite believed his eyes. He most definitely believed them now. As he drew closer, the scene he was nearing didn't get any less horrifying. In fact, when he was close enough to feel the need to cautiously side-step his way to his belongings, it was decidedly more awful than he'd anticipated from a distance. 

There was someone right there. 

Not on his chair, his things were still perfectly in place, untouched, but at the uncomfortably close distance of the very-next-seat along, there was a person. And all their things. 

He stood over his seat, trying to process the events that led up to this, not quite fully understanding how the obviously taken seat hadn't deterred this female (he thought she was female, at least) from making herself at home in the 2 seat radius surrounding the chair. Least of all, what had prompted her to sit right next- 

'Is there a problem?'

Yes yes yes yes yes absolutely, please leave.

'Sorry?' was all he could choke out.

She was looking up at him, but somehow managed to be looking down her nose, and he had enough sense in him to recognise she felt rich. Or maybe it was her small(ish) collection of branded items. Fendi? Jackson would have a field day. 

'I asked if there was a problem? I don't appreciate being ogled at.'

He was at a loss for words, he hadn't expected her to be so… brusque. Usually strangers at the airport interacted with a stilted politeness, lots of half-bows, please and thank yous, maybe she didn't get the memo? Taking a sip of his lime soda, he noted that Saint Laurent was also present within her collection. How ironic. 

'Ah, no, I wasn't looking at you, these' he gestures to his bag, 'are my belongings…'

He's not quite sure what he was expecting, but whatever it was, it absolutely wasn't for her to look possibly more offended than she had been before he'd spoken. Maybe she'll move if I upset her enough? 

As he half heartedly checks himself for thinking such a thing, she swivels her head back and forth between him and his things, the sunlight glinting off of her hair.

'They're,' she points at his seat, 'yours?'           

She points at him, disbelief written across her face. They stay like that in silence for a few moments, at an impasse.

He coughs awkwardly and takes another sip.

'Yes…?' 

At this point he's thinking it maybe wasn't worth it, and it would be easier for him to just find a different spot, without the oddly confrontational scenery.

'Are you sure?'

He chokes on his lime soda. Through spluttering and coughing and the highly unpleasant burning (fizzing) at the back of his throat, he resolutely decides he's not letting her chase him away from his spot. He got there first anyway. 

Fighting mindset truly in place, he sets her with a condescending smile, and drawls out his question like he would to address a rather irritating child.

'You don't believe that the bag and jacket that I put on that chair, walked over to collect, and said were mine are… mine?'

He sees the realisation dawn on her, and fights the urge to laugh (not because he wanted to be polite, but because his throat was still tingling and he was sure he'd end up coughing again if he laughed at her). She pouts and waves a manicured hand between them, shaking her head.

'No, no, it's just people travelling... economy… tend to…y'know...have...' 

People travelling eco- What?

He blinks at her, once again unsure what to say. 

'WAIT- Not- Not that economy is a bad thing or anything, that's not what I meant-'

A part of him is relieved that there are obviously people out there who are far worse than him at meeting strangers. The other part of him is bitter that he had to meet one of them. He's certain the ice in his soda has melted at this point, and curses her for (if nothing else) leaving him with a diluted room-temperature drink.

'Look, I'll just take my things and-' he spots a relatively empty block across the seating area from them, and gestures to make sure she sees. She blinks up at him owlishly, as if waiting for him to go, and he sighs tiredly. The polite thing to do is to offer to move instead. 

After approximately 15 seconds, he gives up, collects his jacket and bag, and trundles over to the less sunny, less quiet, and overall less comfortable seating block. 

He spends the next two hours trying to lose himself in his book, checking the flight status and complaining to the guys about the awful encounter.

At roughly 11:45 he finally hears the boarding announcement,

Flight KE418 to Seoul will be boarding shortly, please proceed to gate 117.

And by some sheer luck, he finds himself at the very front of the queue when the man at the desk starts checking passports and boarding passes. 

He practically skips his way down the corridor to the plane, buzzing with excitement. He's almost home. The flight attendant smiles at him, checks his pass and escorts him to an aisle seat, and when he takes off his hat to push back his hair, there's a barely noticeable twitch of her lip to show that she recognises him before she disappears to attend to another passenger. 

He sinks into his seat, browsing movie options on the monitor, and is just about to put headphones on when he hears it.

'Oh, thank you, sorry, this seat? Thanks…'

That voice did not go with that meek tone at all. 

He looks up to see her nervously shuffling down the right-hand aisle, and slowing down when the attendant does, one seat ahead. Please no, let me have my flight in peace, lord if you have any mercy…

'This is seat 04, if you have further requirements or any issues, just let us know.'

As it turns out, the lord didn't have any mercy free today. 

He takes in her slight frame over the divider, made to look smaller by her hunched shoulders and clasped hands, before realising she's not yet sat down because she's been staring at him. Great, now all he had to do was figure out if she recognised him because she'd chased him away earlier, or because she'd seen his face in a magazine. Or both. 

He decides to take initiative, and smile politely at her, bowing his head. She's already slowly turning a deep pink and, somewhere in the back of his head, he thinks she's quite cute when she's flustered. 

With that thought, he decides he's in a good enough mood to tease her, and acknowledges that there's no way she won't have recognised his clothes (if not his face) from earlier.

'So, economy huh?'

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns an’ Roses Fanfic

Chapter 37: Great Party Mags

Pairing: Duff/OC

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Masterlist

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @dustnbones @queen-crue

The girls had swarmed him all night, and he felt like a damn king. They all wanted to fuck a rockstar, but sadly he only had time for one. Axl put on his boot and checked his hair in the bathroom mirror. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror, he could get used to this. The elaborate mansion and girls were one of the many perks he was looking forward to when Guns made it big.

The live band still played and he wanted to groan as they butchered another Motley Crue song. He was never a fan of Motley, but it burned his ears to hear a song that was born on Sunset Strip butchered. He was promised a rock band and they were mediocre at best. He smirked to himself at the thought of the band getting booed off stage. They would never survive the strip. They could play some cover songs, but they were missing the spark, that special thing that makes someone remember them. They were just a bunch of rock wannabes who live off their parent’s money. They were 100% forgettable.

“Heeey, you’re that singer right? I saw you sing last week!” A brunette stumbled over towards him, partially spilling her drink on the table next to him.

“Axl Rose the one and only,” Axl looked her up and down, a model, he told himself. She must be some sort of model.

Axl’s attention was pulled from the brunette model as a familiar face caught his attention. A face he had only seen once. A face he hoped he wouldn’t have to see again.

Axl lost control of his feet as he slowly walked over towards Matt, Del’s ex-fiancé, who was standing off in a hallway. An unsettling feeling filled Axl as he slowly walked into the hallway where Matt was.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Axl shouted, making sure to pull all attention towards him.

“It’s a party Axl. I thought a trash wannabe rocker like you would know that,” Matt laughed back.

“Axl,” Del shot out of the room at the sound of the singer’s voice. When she opened the door, she Alsace a situation that was already out of hand. Matt was pushed against the hallway wall, pinned by Axl, unable to move. With one of his hands tightly wrapped around Matt’s collar, Axl held him in the air. Axl’s other hand formed a fist, waiting for Matt to give him one last reason to best the living shit out of him.

Axl shot a quick look at Del, fear was laced in her tone as she stepped forward.

“Did they touch you?” Axl’s voice was sharp as he spoke. Del could tell he was drinking, and that wasn’t the most unsettling part. There was nothing more wild than a drunk Axl hungry for blood,

“No Ax..I’m fine. They just wanted to invite me to a small party for a childhood friend of mine. The party is to celebrate her engagement, nothing more,” Del talked in a soft voice in hopes to calm him down.

“Give me a reason Del. Give me a reason not to punch him in the fucking face,” Axl’s tone was soft, but laced with poison as he spoke. He could feel Matt’s breath, wild and out of control like a bunny that was about to be devoured by a wolf.

“Because he is not fucking worth it Ax. He is nothing, but a washed up piece is shit. Punching him won’t make anything better,” on the outside Del maintained a calm composure, but on the inside all hell had broken loose. She hated Matt. She hated the bruises he left on her arm. She hated the way he talked to her. Despite everything, she wanted to see Axl beat the living shit out of Matt. She wanted to see him pay the price, but that wasn’t right. That would only make things worse. Violence would always bring more violence. She looked back at Axl who was currently staring down Matt like a wolf about to devour his prey.

Del quickly turned towards Mark, remembering his threat about telling Duff that she was sleeping with Axl. It was a lie, a complete and utter lie. She didn’t want to take the chance that Duff would believe her over them, she didn’t want their lie to plant a seed of doubt into Duff’s head. She loved him, she truly did.

“Axl, they aren’t worth it,” this time Del’s voice was sharp as she spoke.

Axl let go of Matt who stumbled over towards Mark, pure terror filling his eyes.

“Don’t forget these,” Matt said, handing Del the pillow and blanket that she originally came for. That’s right, Del reminded herself. She still had a task she had to complete. She had to help Mags.

When Del walked next to him to grab the items, he whispered, “see you Sunday.” She didn’t respond as she took the items for Mags and headed down the hallway, wanting to get as far away from Mark and Matt as possible.

Del wanted to cry. She wanted to break down and cry, but as she heard Axl’s boots against the tiled floor, she knew she had to keep it together.

“Where is Duff?” Del looked over towards Axl who resembled a volcano about to erupt.

“Upstairs taking care of another problem,” Del’s tone was sharp, but it didn't go far. She knew that he could see the tears that lingered in her eyes as he walked next to her. She wanted to leave this party as soon as possible, and didn’t have time for silly tears.

“He shouldn’t have left you,” Axl seemed to calm down a little, but not enough to put Del at ease.

“You should stop in a bathroom before we meet up with Duff,” Axl pointed out, causing Del to stop dead in her tracks.

“Why?” The moment she spoke those words, Axl placed his hand on her forearm, and for the first time Del saw something in Axl’s eyes.

The chaos or passion that resided in them was replaced with concern. That’s when it clicked in Del’s head. Axl knew. Axl put the pieces together, and saw the big picture on what was going on.

“Because he will want you to tell him what happened if you present yourself like this,” the pair of them remained frozen in another hallway lined with mirrors. Del turned her head and a ghostly figure in front of her.

“And you don’t seem to want to talk about it,” Axl added.

She knew it was herself that was standing in the mirror. Her hair was still styled the same way and she was wearing the same clothes as earlier, but that’s not what Axl was hinting at. He saw the sadness that had developed in her own eyes. He recognized the fear that was laced across her features.

“Can you bring these to Mag’s she is up one more floor and in the bathroom of the third room on the right?” Axl simply shook his head no.

“Why?” Del shot back, nor understanding Axl’s reluctance.

“If you think I am going to let you walk around this party while Matt and Mark are here you are dead wrong,” Del nodded her head as she handed Axl the pillow and blankets and headed off towards the nearest bathroom. The sound of Axl’s boots on the tile floor filled the hallways.

Once inside, she slammed the door shut and locked it. When the first tear fell, the rest followed like a dam breaking and flooding a city.

Why? Why must they come back to her? Why couldn’t she escape her life?

“Everything will be fine,” Del said into the mirror. It was a lie that she was hoping that she, herself would believe.

There really wasn’t a reason for Duff to not want to go to the party. Granted he knew about her old life and how toxic it was, so maybe he did have a reason. Her mind spiraled again and again until she felt like it was going to explode.

Only a quiet knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Go away Axl,” Del shouted through the door still trying to deal with the tornado that was tearing through her head.

“Try again,” Del shot to her feet and unlocked the door without hesitation at the sound of his voice. She pulled Duff in close, tears still streaming down her face.

As she pulled away, she felt Duff begin to kiss the tears that remained on her cheeks. He then pulled her in close again, sending a thankful knod in the singer’s direction.

Axl stood watching, waiting for this moment to be over. He hated it so much when Duff cradled Del in his arms. He hated how she nuzzled her head deeper into his chest as he whispered sweet nothing into her ear. But most of all, he hated himself for fucking some chick, instead of watching over Del. To him, this was all his fault. He was the reason they ended up going to the party in the first place. Granted, Del brought it up, but he could have easily said no. Mags being here was a good enough reason to say no, and not a soul would have questioned it.

“God this party sucks,” Del mumbled, trying to get rid of the tension that had grown in the hallway and distract Duff from his current state.

“The band playing sucked too,” Duff added.

“Well that’s not a very nice to say,” Del replied in a teasing manner before wrapping her arms around Duff’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss as she stood on her toes in an attempt to match his height.

Del’s fingers mindlessly played with Duff’s hair as she felt his warm lips on her own. He tasted like peppermint vodka, quite an odd combo but still tasted like Duff.

Axl immediately left the scene since he had little desire to watch the pair make out. He took a deep breath before climbing the stairs to go check on Mags. With every step he questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing.

When he ran upstairs to get Duff after Del had locked herself in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, he simply dropped the blankets off in front of the bathroom door and knocked before heading off with Duff to make sure that Del was right.

He determined that there were three reactions she could have when he knocked on the bathroom door for the second time to check on her. The first, the most likely, is that she would put on her tough face and cuss him out. The second is that she wouldn’t open the door for him, completely ignoring his presence. The third, without the doubt the least logical, is that she would let him check on her to make sure she was okay.

Axl knocked on the door and was immediately met with a messy haired Mags who had clearly enjoyed the pillow and blanket he brought her. After a couple of seconds of silence, Axl spoke. “How are you?”

“Ohh, Axl I’m fucking fantastic! I could honestly go run a marathon right now,” Axl smiled at her sarcasm as she spoke. At Least she was doing better. She was back to her old self of being a bitch to him, it was idly comforting.

“Good,” Axl replied, not wanting to add any sassy remarks and potentially angering her.

“Good?” She cocked an eyebrow at the red headed singer, confused on why he wasn’t being a complete dick.

“Yeah because that dick ass reporter Drew is downstairs and he doesn’t deserve you or your kid,” Axl spoke motioning toward her belly.

“Yeah..” Mags mumbled.

“Unless it isn’t his kid…” Axl said no louder than a whisper. He had to ask, he couldn’t help himself. He walked in on Mags and Duff fucking on their nasty ass couch. Granted it didn’t truly matter they were fucking at the time because neither of them had met Del yet, but Duff deserved to know if it was his kid.

“It’s Drew’s kid,” Mags shot back. She shook her head, she had done the math hundreds of times. There could be no way that it could be Duff’s kid, the timeline just didn’t add up.

Axl nodded his head, not truly believing her.

“Speaking of the giraffe, he is downstairs with Del. Apparently Mark and Matt, from her old life, had some words with Del,” Once Axl started talking Mags let him inside the bathroom. She needed to know what caused Del to cry in the bathroom, and she knew she wouldn’t be getting the story from Del. If she had the story, then she would be able to help Del later.

A knock on the bathroom door ended their conversation prematurely, but Axl was able to get through most of the story. Axl was surprised to see Izzy on the other side of it clearly ready to leave.

“You good?” Axl turned towards Mags as he spoke.

“Yeah, I’ll live another day,” Mags replied. For a quick second, a dangerous thought entered Mags’ brain. Maybe Axl wasn’t a complete dick.

“Is my brother coming with us?” Mags asked as she walked into the bedroom that adjoined the bathroom where she spent most of the party.

“Nah, him and his girl are staying. We didn’t tell him about how your night went because we didn’t want him to go all protective brother on you. If you want we can grab him real fast…” Mags quickly interrupted Duff before he could continue, “Nope, my brother doesn’t need to know what happened tonight.

Del sent Mags a concerned look which she quickly shrugged off as she walked over to give her a quick hug.

“I’m sorry,” Mags whispered in Del’s ear only loud enough for her to hear.

As they headed down the stairs, and outside the mansion Izzy took a quick look behind him to double check the space that had grown between their two groups. The first group which consited of only him and Axl was able to easily navigate through the party without any problem. Unlike the second group which consisted of Mags, Del, Duff and Slash. I say smirked as he saw Duff carrying a very drunk Slash on his back who was clearly the reason why they were so far behin. He chuckled to himself, a drunk slash can be one of the most distracted people he had ever met.

Upon confirmation that the second group wouldn’t hear what he was about to say he turned towards Axl.

“Are you going to tell me why your pants weren’t compellty buttoned when you opened the bathroom door?” Axl almost stopped in his tracks at Izzy’s question; however, he kept walking in fear of Izzy further misinterpreting his actions.

“WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH, I was just talking with her to make sure she was okay. Apparently Drew was there,” Axl watched as a small smirk formed on Izzy’s face.

“What?” Axl hissed, worried that Izzy wasn’t believing his story.

“I punched Drew in the face. It was really satisfying, you should try it sometime,” Axl couldn’t help but join Izzy in laughing.

“It’s on my bucket list. He has one of those very punchable faces. Anyway, how was tonight for your little business?” Axl asked, earning a sly smile from Izzy.

“Good,” was Izzy’s only response before hopping in the truck. Him being the only sober one, meant he was stuck driving back to the hell house.

It only took a couple of minutes before the second group piled into the car and they headed off towards home.

“Great party Mags, 10/10!” Slash shouted over the music.

Del and Mags immediately locked eyes and broke out into a contagious laughter that filled the truck.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb