#I didn’t quite understand how the first one worked so I looked up 70s sleeveless tops and found one like the one I drew

[feeling--pink]

It’s pride month and as a lesbian it is my right to make characters who have never interacted gay for each other!!!!!

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

Rizzo

Oneshot about how Sirius obtained his motorcycle. Prompt by @daylily-evans.

I should add, to all my non-UK readers, I use the word f*g in this as a slang word for cigarette, which is what it’s commonly used for over here, especially at the time the oneshot was set. I tried not to use it, but eventually it was impossible, and unrealistic, for the characters to not use it, so I apologise for the use of the word and I promise in this context it is not a slur word, and is only a slang word for cigarette. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Request a oneshot here!

~

When Sirius graduated Hogwarts, he really had no idea what he wanted to do. Short-term wise, he wanted to go on missions for the Order, help out in any way he could and take down the death eaters one by one until only You-Know-Who remained. He couldn’t wait.

But long-term, after the war had ended, he was clueless. Truth was, he hadn’t planned that far ahead, just in case he didn’t survive to see it. But he was beginning to see that having a job now would be beneficial in a number of ways. Maybe as a cover-up, or a hiding place, or at least an opportunity to earn some well-needed money.

Dumbledore wanted him to get a job at the Ministry, to try and collect any inside information. But this suggestion made Sirius angry enough to ignore it completely. For starters, he didn’t care about what Dumbledore wanted. He tried to hide this of course, as he didn’t think the others would approve. But he’d lost his taste for obeying the old man ever since Dumbledore had forced Remus to live among the werewolves. And while Sirius could vaguely understand why it was useful, he couldn’t forgive Dumbledore for placing Remus in such a horrible situation, away from his friends, and possibly making Remus feel like the monster that Sirius knew he wasn’t. When Dumbledore had first suggested it, Sirius had been absolutely livid, and it was only Remus himself who managed to stop Sirius from marching down to Dumbledore’s office and giving the guy a piece of his mind. Remus had calmed Sirius down, but Sirius knew that he’d never shake off the resentment he had for the headmaster.

The other reason that he was angry at Dumbledore’s suggestion, was because he hated the Ministry. It was full of people like his parents, making rules to oppress anyone who wasn’t a pureblood wizard. And after having grown up with Remus, watching as the boy had to work for a future he didn’t have because of the Ministry, the last thing Sirius wanted to do was work for the bastards.

But what other jobs were there in the Wizarding World besides a ministry job? Hogwarts teacher? There wasn’t anything he could teach, and he certainly didn’t have the patience to deal with a bunch of teenagers, and nor did he want to give Dumbledore an opportunity to keep a close eye on him. Healer? He couldn’t think of anything less suited to him, though maybe Moony wouldn’t mind seeing him in a healer’s skirt and cap.

No, the problem was, wizarding jobs didn’t suit Sirius. So perhaps he needed to look outside the Wizarding World for a job.

Sirius wasn’t exactly familiar with muggle jobs, at least not first-hand. He’d seen plenty of them before. He, James, Remus and Peter had been to a few muggle clubs and bars together, and Sirius had spent all night chatting up the male bartenders, until he was quite knowledgeable on the job itself.

Sirius thought he’d be a great bartender. All he had to do was serve drinks, listen to music and chat up hot guys. And okay, so there was probably a little more to it than that, but he had the people skills, and he could easily learn about all the different muggle drinks.

Yes, he decided. I can be a bartender. I’ll be safe in the muggle world, I can still go on missions, and I can earn some money for the Order, or at least to support myself and Remus.

Sirius even knew about a bar that had an opening, since he’d been there so many times. He had to walk there, since he couldn’t apparatus, or floo there, and he still didn’t know how to use the muggle bus. But it wasn’t too long a walk, and it was a nice day at least. Sirius liked muggle towns, especially the underground-type, diverse, grunge places such as the one where the bar was situated. The streets were lined with music shops, pubs and all things that screamed rock n roll in the 70s. Sirius loved it.

When he was almost at the bar, he suddenly got distracted by a shop he hadn’t noticed before. He noticed it this time because Queen was blasting out of the speakers of some tinny radio from inside.

Sirius looked at the exterior: Lomax Motorcycles said the sign at the front. Another, smaller sign, stuck onto the window said: job vacancies with some smaller writing underneath that Sirius couldn’t read. But he was intrigued enough to go inside.

The interior- Sirius was quick to notice- was incredibly cool. There were two adjoining rooms, all filled with motorbikes. Sirius had seen motorbikes before, mainly in the films that he watched with James, Remus and Peter, but he hadn’t realised how much he liked them until he looked at them up close. These ones were all slick and shiny, some with patterns of fire along the side. They were like broomsticks, but with a muggle twist, and from Sirius’s limited experience, they were always ridden by punks in leather jackets. Sirius could definitely see himself riding one.

The shop itself was dimly lit, but he could see a number of framed posters lining the walls, of muggle bands that he loved: Pink Floyd, Ramones, Blondie, Joy Division. Not to mention all the cool-looking accessories that hung above the motorcycles.

Just then, the owner of the shop walked out.

“Alright, mate?” Greeted the man. Sirius nodded, taking the guy in. He looked around his late thirties, with a dark brown mullet, a badge-covered sleeveless jacket, leather gloves, at least twenty different piercings and full sleeves of tattoos. Sirius looked like Sandy from Grease compared to this guy.

“Yeah, hi.” Sirius replied, immediately intimidated.

“Looking for a bike?” The man walked behind a counter against the wall opposite to Sirius and started restocking a container of different locks.

“Nah, I’m just looking. I’ve never actually driven a motorbike before.” The man looked him up and down.

“Really?” Sirius nodded, awfully self-conscious. The man took out a cigarette pack and lit one up. The shop was quite smoky, but Sirius actually enjoyed that about it.

“I saw you had a job vacancy sign in your window,” Sirius plucked up the courage to mention.

“You looking for a job?”

“Yeah.” Sirius of course hadn’t intended to try for a job here, but since he had the opportunity he thought he might as well. See how far he could take it before the man asked him to leave. The man exhaled smoke out of his nose.

“You haven’t even driven a motorcycle.”

“I can learn. I pick things up quickly.” He realised that he sounded inexplicably uncool. It was typical. Around his friends he was effortlessly punk. Laid-back and relaxed, cigarette balanced between his lips, fluent in witty remarks and sarcasm. But here, in front of an almost carbon-copy of his cool persona, Sirius was sounding like someone who’d only recently entered the punk scene and had no clue on how to act.

“How old are you?” The man asked.

“Eighteen.”

“Pretty young, you even out of uni yet?”

“Oh, uh... I’m not going to uni.” Uni. University. Remus said that muggles went there to learn even more. Sirius didn’t see the point of it.

“I didn’t go either,” replied the man. He seemed very friendly, which certainly didn’t match with his overall appearance. “Didn’t interest me. Started working here instead. It was my dad’s.”

“Oh.” Sirius wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I’m Darren by the way. Darren Lomax.”

“Oh right, like the name on the shop. I’m Sirius.”

“Sirius? Never heard that name before. It’s cool.”

“Thanks?” He’d never thought of his name as being cool before. It was run-of-the-mill in the Wizarding World. In fact there were already two other Siriuses in his family. He was Sirius the Third.  “If you’re interested in motorbikes, I can take you on as an apprentice if you want. Give you a bit of money. Teach you how to fix up these babies.” Sirius blinked.

“Really?” He hadn’t expected any kind of offer. His resume wasn’t exactly impressive, especially not to a muggle. An inexperienced eighteen year old with no muggle qualifications and less knowledge of motorcycles that literally anyone else who could’ve walked through that door. Sirius wouldn’t hire himself.

“Yeah why not? If you’re shit I’ll get rid of you. We’re not a professional garage. Really we just piss about fixing engines, listening to music and smoking. That your style?”

“Yeah, blimey.”

“Great. You can start tomorrow. Fag?” Darren offered him his cigarette pack, and Sirius took one. Darren lit it for him.

“Cheers.”

~

Dumbledore wasn’t happy with his choice of job.

“How are you planning on gathering information for the Order if you’re spending your days working in a muggle shop?” The man asked. Sirius had no intention of being guilted by him.

“Isn’t the information that Remus is gathering enough for you? I should hope so, considering everything he’s going through to get it.”

“Mr. Black, in case you haven’t noticed, there is a war going on. You can’t spend your life thinking about yourself and Mr. Lupin and no one else.”

“I am thinking of everyone else! And what everyone needs is money. And I can get them that money, as well as staying safe in the muggle world. I’m not exactly useful if I’m dead am I?” Dumbledore sighed as if he was talking to a child. The old man was pleasant with everyone, but with Sirius there was a slight curt undertone to everything he said. Dumbledore knew that Sirius wasn’t happy with him at all, and it showed. Sirius didn’t care. Dumbledore hadn’t done shit for him. He didn’t owe him anything.

Sirius was taking that job.

~ His first day went well, in the sense that he got along with Darren and he enjoyed the environment of the shop very much.

Because of his very limited knowledge of how to fix a motorbike, Sirius’s main job was at the front desk, talking to customers. He really did have great people skills, as he quickly discovered, and he put this to his advantage, bagging more sales in a day than Darren achieved in a week. So even if Sirius was shit at the mechanical side of things, he certainly wasn’t going to be fired any time soon.

At the end of the day, when the shop closed, Darren asked if Sirius would like to stay late and learn his way around the motorbikes. Sirius, who hadn’t been assigned any missions, and therefore didn’t have much going on, agreed immediately.

Darren showed him the engines of one particular motorbike that was in rather a lot of disrepair.

“Completely useless she is,” explained Darren. “Not likely to get her running any time soon, probably won’t even be able to fix her. Engine’s blown, parts are missing, tyres are a wreck.” Sirius knew that she’d easily be fixed with magic, but obviously this wasn’t an option. So he was sad that she’d never be ridden. But even if she was little more than a shell, she was a good example for Darren to use as an introduction to the inner workings of motorcycles.

Sirius listened intently to everything Darren had to say, learning how to change the oil, how to change a tyre, how to know when a motorbike needed new spark plugs (and learning what spark plugs were in the first place).

Outside of the workshop, Sirius tried to research more on the motorbikes he was working with. When he wasn’t spending time with the Order, or talking to customers in the shop, or following Darren around like a puppy, he was at the library reading up on all the different motorbike types, how they worked and how they were made.

Whenever Remus was permitted a break from staying with the werewolves, breaks that usually only lasted a few days maximum to avoid any suspicion, Sirius proudly took him down to the shop and showed him all the motorbikes that he helped to fix.

Darren greeted Remus happily, commenting on his name too. “The weird name couple” he called them. Darren, being the punk anarchist that he was, that was so prevalent in the late 70s, didn’t give a shit about Sirius and Remus’s relationship. Sirius didn’t need to hide it for very long, especially since he hadn’t tried to hide his sexuality in the first place.

Remus was very interested in the shop, and as soon as he stepped foot in it his first response was “Shit, Pads, this place was made for you.”

Sirius showed him the motorbike that was “unfixable”, but that Sirius had still been determined to work on as much as possible. The engine was still a bust, but he’d at least changed the tyres, and given it a new paint job (red and black). Sirius felt very close to the bike, especially once Darren had struck up a deal with him, saying that if he could fix the bike he could have it: “even if it’s fixed, it’s a shit model. No one’ll want it, believe me. Besides, I’m already paying you fuck all, so consider it a raise.” Darren was paying Sirius, but it was apparently much less than the usual muggle wage, since Sirius was still technically an apprentice. However, the current muggle to wizarding exchange rate meant that Sirius got a lot of galleons for his pounds. So, he was perfectly able to support himself, and if he ended up with a free motorbike in the process? Well, he almost couldn’t believe his luck.

Sirius fixed up the engine as much as he possibly could, until it was simply a case of the engine just not working. It had been months now since he’d first started, and the engine was the only thing left. The motorbike looked good as new, and despite Darren claiming it to be a shit model, Sirius had fallen in love with it. He’d even named it Rizzo, after Betty Rizzo from Grease.

Sirius was absolutely determined to have Rizzo, and deciding that the engine simply needed a boost, he risked using magic out of sight of Darren. Darren would never know, and Rizzo would have a new lease of life.

“Fucking hell, you actually got her working!” Exclaimed Darren the next day, as Sirius showed off the brand new humming engine of his prized motorbike. “How the fuck did you do that?”

“She just needed a boost, that was all. Good as new.” A boost with a little bit of magic, thought Sirius. Darren was shaking his head in disbelief.

“Well, shit. I guess a deal’s a deal. She’s all yours, mate.” Sirius couldn’t refrain himself from grinning. He patted Rizzo’s paintwork proudly. She was all his. He couldn’t wait to show her off to Remus and James and Peter and all the others. James was dying to get a glimpse of her: Sirius had been bragging about his motorbike for weeks now, annoying the hell out of the others.

“This motorcycle better be fit for Merlin himself, Pads, or I’m gonna be pissed,” James had semi-joked. Sirius assured that she was even better than Merlin. “She was made for me,” he claimed.

When James did finally see Rizzo, he was very impressed, but then again, he was as knowledgeable about motorbikes as Sirius was when he first started at the shop. Sirius probably could have put a mound of metal in front of him, moulded into the vague shape of a motorbike and James would still have been impressed.

“Can’t believe you named her Rizzo,” James laughed. “You’re such a fucking nerd.”

“Yeah, well. I have a motorcycle and you don’t, so jokes on you.” James put his hands up in surrender.

“You’re right. I’m just jealous.”

~ Sirius had a lot of fun with Rizzo. He rode her everywhere, through muggle and wizarding towns alike. It felt even more freeing than a broomstick. He could weave in and out of traffic, the wind in his hair and the roar of the engine blocking out everything.

There was also room for two. Or at least, two was the legal amount. But Sirius could be rather lax with the law sometimes, especially muggle law. So it wasn’t uncommon for all four of the marauders to squeeze onto the back of Rizzo and go driving off into the night.

Eventually though, Sirius decided that four people on one seat could damage Rizzo, which was the last thing he wanted (and he supposed it could be dangerous as well). So he splashed out some of the money he’d saved on a sidecar. James was particularly keen on it.

Remus on the other hand nearly always opted to sit on the back with Sirius. Sirius loved these journeys the most. Just he and Remus, the man holding tightly onto him as they zoomed down roads, ending up in country lanes. He could feel Remus’s arms around his waist, and Remus’s head on his shoulder, and after everything Remus was going through, as well as the risk of sudden death around every corner for both of them, when the two were pressed together on the little black and red motorbike, roaring through the countryside without a care in the world, it felt like the most precious moment of their lives.

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Say It Again

Say It Again- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Requested by @Winter-In-Wakanda for a Stark!Sister Reader and prompt 150. “Do whatever you want, I don’t care.” Girl is after my own little heart with a Stark!Reader request.

Okay...so for this one...we're pretending Infinity War & End Game didn't happen...because Cannon sometimes interferes with my ideas. Once again...this one got away from me, like almost 10K words. I hope you guys like it. It turned into something I didn't expect it to turn into. I always try to pre-plan these and then my imagination takes over and I end up someplace completely different. I am super in to Bucky stories lately if you haven’t been able to tell. I’m a little unsure on this one so I hope it’s up to snuff.

As always likes, comments and reblogs are SO APPRECIATED. Requests are open (Avengers, Supernatural, TVD/The Originals. I do dabble in some Green Arrow and The Flash (DC TV Only please). Prompt list can be found here.

Please let me know if you would like to be added to this tag list or one of my others.

Avengers Tag List: @shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112@this-is-mycrisis

Avengers Masterlist

“You know what? DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I DON’T CARE!”  You could still feel Tony’s anger the day you told him you were going to Wakanda to help Sergeant Barnes. 8 years and you could still feel his voice reverberating through you. “He killed our parents!” Tony had spat. You let him feel his anger. When he was done ranting, raving and feeling his feelings  you put your hand on his and he looked down at the scars on your wrist and you quickly pulled it away.

“Tony, we both know what Hydra is capable of.” They had taken you hostage and tortured you just to get to Tony and the rest of the Avengers. You weren’t a super hero by any means, but anyone who knew anything about Tony Stark knew how important his baby sister was to him. Being Iron Man had put a big red target on your back. It was rare you were unguarded, but Hydra had played the long game and gotten to you anyway. “It wasn’t his fault. They made him into that monster. He was a good man. He IS a good man. He deserves a chance to have his life back. I can help Shuri make that happen. I need you to understand.”

 It took him a while, but he did understand and he agreed that James Barnes deserved a shot at redemption. He kissed you on your cheek and put you on a jet to Wakanda with his blessing.

Shuri knew she could get the programming out of Bucky so that no one could ever use those words against him again. Yet the trauma would remain. The horrible memories. That took time to heal. Steve Rogers knew that if anyone could give him his best friend back, it would be you. He was waiting for you as you stepped off of the jet with a big smile and a hug. You linked your arm through his and he took you to meet T’Challah, Shuri and Bucky.

“Welcome Dr. Stark. We’re happy to have you join us.” T’Challah led you and Steve through his home, which was one hell of a palace. He was a King after all. You walked down a large corridor to an area that reminded you a great deal of Tony’s lab. “This Dr. Stark is my sister Shuri.” The youthful smile on her face made you feel at home.  When you pictured a princess in your mind, she wasn't what you had imagined, and that was the best part about her. She shook your hand with enthusiasm.

“Dr. Stark, this is truly a pleasure. I’ve read some of your papers. Some of the work you and your brother have done is quite remarkable. Though I thought you were a medical doctor?” You smiled at her excitement. It wasn’t often someone knew you for you and not for Iron Man first.

“I also studied trauma and psychology. I’m sure you know both my brother and I have experienced some severe trauma.” You looked down at the scars on your wrists. “My brother dealt with some severe PTSD a few years back. I was the only one he trusted to help him through it.”

“Dr. Stark is brilliant. We’re going to miss having her at the compound taking care of us all after missions. Though I’m sure someone less trained could handle some stitches.” Steve joked as you elbowed him in the stomach. He put his arm around you and turned you to the man you felt like you knew already. You and Steve became fast friends. You were one of the few people he talked to about Bucky.

“Y/N, this is Bucky.” You were met with an intense stare. He was as good looking as the pictures you had seen of him in the museum, just a little more rough around the edges. He was arguably the most handsome man you had ever laid eyes on, and you were standing next to Captain America. And then he smiled at you and you knew that you were in trouble the second you felt your mouth go dry and your heart beat just a little faster.

“Thank you, for coming and helping me. I know this can't be easy for you." It seemed he wanted to say more but stopped himself. You nodded and stuck your hand out for him to shake.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Sergeant Barnes.”

“Please...call me Bucky.” You didn't know how you were going to get through this with him looking at you like that.

It was amazing how meeting one person could change the course of your entire life. ***

”How are you feeling Sergeant Barnes?” You walked into the exam room. There he sat, the infamous Winter Soldier. He studied you silently for a moment. His blue eyes bore into yours.

“You can call me Bucky.”

“I can’t call you that.” You shook your head. Shuri was watching the two of you out of the corner of her eye and smiled to herself. She could sense something between the two of you the first day she saw the two of you interact. Bucky had been willing to acknowledge it. You however, were stubborn and refused to. Bucky gave you a questioning look but didn’t push you further. You were trying to keep a professional wall between the two of you. It had been a struggle over the last year. The urge to have a personal relationship with him was palpable.  Bucky was well...Bucky. Despite all of the trauma and damage that Hydra layered in, he still had his incredible charm. It may have been 70 years since he was interested in a woman, but it was like riding a bike. He laid in on thick every chance he got. But you were here to do a job. It was your job to help Bucky work through his trauma the way you had helped Tony work through his. You felt like a hypocrite because yours always bubbled right under the surface.

He tried to get you to spend time with him outside of your time in this room. You continually denied him. If you were in the gym when he came in, you either popped your ear buds in or left shortly after he entered. The last time this had happened, Bucky's disappointment was apparent. T'Challah, ever observant put a hand on Bucky's shoulder and commented how the ones that were the most worth it were the hardest to catch. You were giving Bucky a run for his money.

The hardest day for the both of you had been the day you discussed December 16th, 1991. It hadn’t been the first time you had seen Bucky shed a few tears, but it was the first time he saw you cry. It was also the first time you had let him cross the patient line and hug you. You had felt safe for the first time in a long time as the Super Soldier held you to him whispering how sorry he was. You reassured him that you didn’t blame HIM. You separated James Barnes from the Winter Soldier. He needed to do the same thing. They were not one in the same.

Bucky had thought he had finally broken down your wall. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think about you when you weren’t with him. The curve of your face. The way your eyes lit up when you smiled. Your snarky sense of humor. He was excited for his next session. Yet a few days later when you saw him again, your walls were back up and it was business as usual. He was disappointed. You were giving him an expectant look. He had gotten lost in his thoughts of you. He snapped himself out of it and answered your question.

“I feel more like myself. But I think he’s still there under the surface.” You wrote some notes down.

“What about the nightmares?” You looked up from your notes.

“I still have them, they’re not nearly as frequent or intense.”

“Do you still feel like you’re a danger to others Sergeant?”

“Bucky.” You pursed your lips. “And I’m not sure. Shuri couldn’t activate me with the words.” You smiled at him and his heart almost jumped out of his chest, he was sure of it.

“Sergeant Barnes. I think we can confidently say your programming has been removed.”

“Are you sure? What if I leave here and something happens? I don’t know if I could live with myself if I hurt another person like that.” You set his file down and put your hand on his forearm.

“We have tried multiple times to use the activation words...they no longer have an affect on you. While T’Challah has made it clear you are more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like, it’s time to stop hiding in Wakanda.” Bucky scoffed and looked away.

“I’m not hiding. And I’m still having nightmares.” He was looking down at the floor.

“So do I.” His head snapped up and he studied you in your sleeveless shirt. There were scars on your wrists and a few on your upper right shoulder. Usually you sought to cover them but the Wakanda summer was stifling. There was a story there. He just wasn’t sure what. “I still see my brother as a captive with a bag over his head. I still see him falling out of the sky..among other things. Recovery is progressive. You aren’t all of the sudden better. You learn to live with your demons and find a way to move on and be happy.” Bucky put his hand over yours.

“And are you?” You furrowed your brow. “Happy. Are you happy?” You slowly pulled your hand from his.

“We aren’t talking about me. Look, you’re ready. You’ve been ready. Steve needs you. The Avengers need you. It’s time to get back to your life.” You turned to walk out of the room.

“Y/N!” Bucky yelled your name and it turned. “We leave here- you can’t hide behind being my doctor.” You stared each other down for a moment and then turned again and left the room.

***

,Your heels kept getting stuck in the dirt as you walked through Wakanda toward’s where Bucky’s place was. Bucky stepped out and watched you struggle for a moment and rushed over laughing to help you. You had come down to make sure he was ready to go. You promised Steve you would get him on that jet. It had taken another two weeks for him to agree.

“Why the hell would you wear those shoes?” You glared at him.

“I wear three inches or I wear nothing!." You wrinkled your nose at the goats. 

"You are NOT bringing those to New York.”

“You’re such a girl.” He rolled his eyes and slung a bag over his shoulder. It had taken some convincing from you and Shuri but he had agreed it was time to leave. “You really didn’t need to come out here. Everything I have is in this bag. I told you I was going to go back, I meant it. I wouldn't lie to you and I wouldn't make it hard for you either. I Know you want to go home too."

“I made a promise to Steve to get you back to yourself and get you home. I intend to follow through. Regardless of how long it took” He stood there, freshly cut hair, jeans and a short sleeved shirt that was the same color as his eyes, his vibrainian arm reflecting the bright sun. It was a far cry from his normal Wakandan wardrobe. Though he would be beautiful wearing a trash bag.

“So that’s all this is? Fulfilling an obligation?” He took a few steps towards you and was standing too close to you. You felt the alarm bells going off in your head, but you couldn’t step away. He was like a magnet.

“I wanted to help you. As soon as Steve told me what happened I wanted to help you. You're not an obligation. You're more than that and you know it.” He studied your face for a moment and before you could move he had scooped you up bridal style and started walking towards the hangar where the jet would be picking you up. “SERGEANT BARNES PUT ME DOWN” you screeched.

“Jesus Y/N, I may be deaf in that ear from now on. We don’t have time for you to literally tip toe back in those shoes because you refuse to wear flats. We're wheels up in 10.” You groaned and gave him a dirty look. You felt the heat rising to your cheeks as you got closer and could see the smirk on Shuri and T’Challa’s faces. When he finally placed your feet on the ground you took a few large steps away from him like he had a disease. He rolled his eyes and said his goodbyes and thank yous to the pair of siblings in front of him.

Shuri gave you a hug. “It was a pleasure working with you, I hope to do so again.” You agreed and bid her goodbye and did the same with her brother.

"Good Luck Dr. Stark. I'm sure we will meet again." T'Challah gave you a kind smile and led you onto the jet.

You stepped into the jet that already had your things. Tony had sent a Shield agent to pick you and Bucky up, he had wanted to come himself but had to finish up a project. You looked over at him and could see the nerves on his face. You  gave him a kind smile and took a seat and strapped yourself in. You pulled out your earbuds to play some music as you took off. You hated flying. And it was a good trek from Wakanda to New York.

Bucky had been hoping that you could have held a real conversation on the flight back. He was desperate to get to know you on a deeper level. You had denied him for so long. He let out a disappointed sigh. He would just have to work on it once you were back in New York.

An hour into the flight and Bucky was in his own world when he heard a distressful cry come from your lips. His head snapped up and he realized you were asleep and having a nightmare. He watched as your face twisted in anguish. "No...no please don't." slipped from your lips and Bucky felt his heart crack a little bit. He slipped next to you and l gently shook you.

"Y/N...wake up sweetheart." He clenched his jaw as you thrashed slightly, wanting to hunt down the person that hurt you enough to plague your dreams. "Y/N..."He shook you again. Your eyes shot open frantically as you inhaled deeply and shot forward. Bucky wrapped his arms around you to ground you. "It's okay. It was just a dream. It's okay." He cooed in your ear. You focused on his heart beat to get your breathing back to normal. You slowly peeled yourself away.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to fall asleep." You couldn't remember the last time you slept and didn't have a nightmare. He was sure he saw shame in your eyes as you looked away.

"Y/N...do not apologize to me. You didn't do anything wrong and you shouldn't have to worry about falling asleep, especially around me. You helped save me. Is it so bad if you let me help you a little bit?" He watched as you blinked back tears and contemplated what he said.

"Thank you Sergeant Barnes" You pulled yourself out of his arms, but didn't move completely away. He sighed.

"Bucky...my name is Bucky."

***

Bucky watched as a different Y/N emerged the moment the two of you got off of the jet. Your face lit up as you ran to Steve and he scooped you up in a hug. Bucky felt red hot jealousy coursing through his veins. For the first time he found himself curios about your relationship with Steve. Were you more than friends, is that why you kept him at arms length?

“Where is she? Dammit Rogers I wanted to greet her first! Why didn’t you tell me she was here?” Tony came running out to the hanger disappointment clouding his face.

You had been only 8 when Howard and Maria died. Tony with the help of those in his life had taken care of you. It was hard for Tony, he was rather young himself, but there was no way he was letting you go to anyone else. It had been you and Tony against the world.

“We did. You were too focused on your work.” Natasha rolled her eyes. You gave Natasha a huge smile.

You slipped out or Steve’s arms and launched yourself at Tony, almost knocking him over. “I missed you so much!” Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the display of sibling affection.

“I missed you too kid.” Soon Steve was greeting Bucky and reintroducing him to the team members he had met before and giving introductions to those he hadn’t. There was an awkward tension as Bucky approached Tony.

“Barnes.” Tony nodded. Everyone was collectively holding their breath. Tony rolled his eyes dramatically. “Look, I’m not going to apologize for trying to kill you in Siberia. But I’m glad you were able to get help and get back to yourself. You can thank my baby sister for opening my eyes to the truth is the matter. That wasn’t you, it was someone else. And as long as that monster is long gone, and I have been assured he is, you’re more than welcome here. We could really use your expertise. Plus we need someone to put Rogers in his place. The Super Soldier advantage is going to his head.” Tony stuck his hand out and Bucky shook it.

“Thank you Tony. I’m glad to be here. And Y/N will have forever have my gratitude. She helped put me back together. I owe her my life.” Bucky gave you a fond look and he watched you blush slightly. It gave him some satisfaction that he had an affect on you.

“You’re not the only one, trust me.” Tony had his arm around you and smiled down.

“C’mon and see all the cool shIt I’ve made since you’ve been gone” Tony turned you around and led you to his lab, ready to catch up on the past year and a half.

“Alright Buck, let me show you around. I’m so glad you’re here.” Steve beamed at him and led him into the compound. Steve showed Bucky the common area, where the gym was, meeting rooms he pointed where everyone else stayed. You had your own wing of the tower, where as the team members minus Tony were closer together. Bucky was on the same wing as Steve and Sam. As Steve led Bucky to his door, he could tell something was weighing on his mind.

“You look like you want to ask me something.” Steve finally said. 

“You and Y/N...are you guys like a thing?” Steve laughed.

“No...I mean once upon a time she used to flirt with me. Mostly because she thought it was hilarious how embarrassed I got. And she’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but no. We’re just really good friends. We’ve gone through some shit together so we’re close. But nothing ever romantic. Why?” Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky.

“I was just curious. She was just really happy to see you so I didn’t know.” 

“She hasn’t dated anyone in a really long time. Get settled and get some shut eye. G’night.”

“Night Steve.”

“Buck...it’s really good to have you here.” Bucky smiled.

“I’m glad to be here.” 

***

You and Bucky had been back in New York for two weeks. It was August and disgustingly hot. You were so happy to be home so you could feel comfortable in your own skin and didn’t feel like you had to cover everything up like you did in Wakanda. You had only gone sleeveless a few times and always felt eyes on the scars you had. Now you were with your family, they didn’t ask questions because they knew. The only prying eyes were that of Bucky Barnes, but he would never asked.

You had tried to keep your interactions to a minimum, convinced that if you drastically cut your time down with him, the feelings you had stirring inside would go away. You had cut that part of yourself off. You didn’t plan on revisiting that. You were content without a relationship. You had Tony and Pepper, Steve, Natasha, Rhodey and Sam. That was all you needed. 

Tony had tried to talk you into going back to the hospital. You were a gifted general surgeon, but you just didn’t want to. Being the team doctor was enough. It wasn’t like you needed the money. Tony was happy to have you exclusively but you were so talented. You were great at helping other people, he was concerned you were letting your demons win by not going back. You had bounced back almost completely but there was still a part of you that would always be on guard.

There was a huge in ground pool and an outdoor patio at the compound and you were thrilled to enjoy it. You were clad in a ruffled coral and black flowered takini top, high waisted bottoms and large black sunglasses.

Natasha was  sitting by the pool with Wanda while Steve, Bucky and Sam were in the pool enjoying the day. Bucky watched as you smiled widely at Nat and Wanda, your whole face lit up. You had a tattoo that he had never seen before because the pencil skirts you wore religiously, that drove him crazy, were always right at your knee. It was watercolor with a dream catcher design, it went from your hip all the way down your thigh. He understood the meaning after witnessing your nightmare on the jet. He had to force himself to look away from you before someone noticed that he was staring.

“Stark! Those look like the glasses you wear when you get Lasik eye surgery they’re so big.” Sam yelled over. You flipped him off and sat down next to Natasha. Bucky let out a sigh that caught Steve’s attention.

“What’s up Buck?”

“She hates me.”

“Y/N?” Steve looked over at Bucky confusion clouding his face.

“Nah, she doesn’t hate anyone for starters and dude she went to Wakanda for you. If she hated you, she wouldn't have stayed” Sam shrugged

“We spent a year and a half together and she avoids me like I have a contagious disease. Do you know she has not once called me by my first name. It’s always Sergeant Barnes. I’ve begged her to call me Bucky. I thought maybe it was just how she was. But then I see how she is with you guys, with Clint when he was here. And I know that we have a complicated past and you’ve known her longer. But she won’t even make eye contact with me.”

“Well someone has a crush.” Sam grinned and jumped back before Bucky could punch him. “Don’t take it personally. She has trust issues. She just knew us before.”

“Sam.” Steve used a warning tone.

“Before what?” Bucky looked back and forth between the two men. He knew there was something in your past, the scars on your body told him so. “You can’t say something like that and then NOT tell me.” Bucky crossed his arms. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose before beginning the story.

“She wasn’t always like this. She was actually a lot like Tony. Out going, a bit of a wild side, very open. Man...she was something else. Being Tony’s sister and close with so many of us really put her in the spot light. So we kept a close watch on her. She was an easy target. Not enhanced, no suit, and being close to us could be dangerous. She started dating this guy Bryan. Tony did the most extensive background check I’ve ever seen. We kept an eye on him and he passed with flying colors. She was so damn happy. They were together for a year, he even proposed. Then one night, she didn’t come home from the hospital. Normally if she was staying there she’d text me and let me know because if Tony was in the lab working he wouldn’t even notice. I thought maybe she had an emergency surgery. I was going to call if I didn’t hear from her by 11pm. I fell asleep. We had a really rough mission and I was beat. When I woke up at 5am she still wasn’t home. I called the hospital and she had scrubbed out of surgery at 7. They were certain she didn’t leave any later than 8:30pm. I called Bryan thinking maybe she was with him after she didn’t answer her phone. He said she wasn’t there and was frantic with worry. He came here and we all tried to figure out where the hell she was. I knew it was bad. I knew someone had her. Then we got the video. She was stripped down to a tank top and her underwear and she was soaking wet. It was Hydra. They proceeded to zap her with a cattle prod.” Steve had to stop for a moment to compose himself. The memories fresh in his mind. “Believe me when I tell you that was the nicest thing they did to her. We were waiting for demands and all of the sudden Bryan was gone. He....he was a Hydra operative. He took her. How we didn’t catch it, I’ll never know. When we finally found her, it...it was bad. They tried to get info from her about the compound and our missions. She didn't know much of anything. Tony never wanted her exposed to it, he thought he was keeping her safe. Maybe if she could have given them what they wanted it wouldn't have been as bad.” Steve shuddered. “She understandably shut down. She stopped operating, she would leave the compound. Tony brought in so many therapists and no one could reach her. He was desperate. She had gone and studied psychology to help him and he couldn’t help her. Eventually she found a doctor she liked and started to bounce back. She was slowly getting back to herself, but she still refuses to work at the hospital. And then everything came out about her parents. I thought it would set her back but it seemed to awaken something in her. She had a taste of what you went through. She was determined that Hydra wouldn’t win. She wanted to help you. She did help you. She's just not great at trusting new people, understandably so.

Bucky contemplated what Steve said. He quelled the guilt he felt about her parents, the way she taught him to. He looked over at you and then back to Steve, it was like a light went off. 

“The tattoo?” He looked back to Steve.

“They cover the worst of the scars Hydra left behind. The ones on her wrists are from being tied up. The ones on her shoulder were from the cattle prod.” Bucky felt sick to his stomach. Steve couldn’t bring himself to tell him what the tattoo was covering up and how she got it.

"Jesus. I mean I get it. I get her being cautious with someone she doesn't know, especially a man. But she wasn't like this with T'Challah or anyone else in Wakanda. She knew she could trust him. She should know she can trust me. Why else would she spend so much time alone with me?" A smile slowly spread over Sam's Face.

"She likes you." Bucky and Steve both looked over at Sam. Bucky scoffed. "I'm serious. That's the difference. She has a thing for you. She's trying to keep it super professional with the "Sergeant Barnes". Steve, we both know she's terrified to get involved with anyone, so it makes sense, she's keeping him at arms length. Believe me, we've tried to introduce her to someone else. Break her out of her shell. But you could be exactly what she needs Freezer Pop." Bucky shot Sam a nasty glare. Steve was just happy someone else was being made fun of besides him. “I’m just saying don’t give up. I mean don’t over do it, but I think you’d be good for her.” Bucky was shocked by Sam’s compliment. He turned his gaze back to you. Your bright smile, hearty laugh. He was determined to get you to let him in.

“What happened to Bryan?” Both Sam and Steve’s eyes darkened.

“Natasha. Natasha happened to Bryan.”

***

Another two weeks had passed and you had successfully avoided any alone time with Bucky Barnes, that was until right that moment. The temperature had cooled considerably in the last week and you wanted to take advantage of the clear night and walk around the compound. 

“Y/N! Wait up!” You came to a halt and turned and watched as Bucky jogged towards you. You held your breath. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever. 

“Where are you going?”

“Just for a walk. I need some air.”

“Can I join you?” He was staring down at you with a soft smile. Even though everything inside of your brain screamed no, your heart won out and you said yes. He gave you a boyish grin and opened the door for you to exit the building. You walked in silence for a while.

“It’s a beautiful night.” you finally commented, not being able to take the silence anymore.

“It sure is.” When you looked over, he was staring directly at you and you stopped walking. Bucky cleared his throat. “So what made you decide to stop avoiding me?”

“Sergeant-“ Bucky groaned.

“If you call me Sergeant Barnes one more time I swear to God himself I’m going to scream.” You looked at him wide eyed. You stared each other down for a moment You started to say something and stopped multiple times. Bucky finally spoke up again. “Y/N, you don’t have to be afraid of me.” You wrapped your arms around yourself and looked away.

“Who told you?”

“Steve...but only because Sam let something slip and he didn’t have a choice.”

"Fucking Sam and his big fucking mouth." You groaned. You were dreading the pity in his eyes, but when you looked at him you saw something else, you just weren’t sure what it was. Bucky took your silence as his cue to continue.

“Look, I know you were hurt, bad. But there is something here. I felt it the day you walked into that lab in Wakanda. Please don’t push me away. Just get to know me."

"I do know you." You looked away from him again. You jumped slightly when you felt his hand lightly wrap around your upper arm, you slowly looked up into his eyes, feeling yourself waver.

“No...you know the Winter Solider. You don't know Bucky Barnes. We will take this slow. Maybe stop avoiding me to start?" He gave you a small smile.

"Okay." your brain was slowly loosing the war with your heart. Your resolve was slowly breaking down.

"Wait...really?" You laughed.

"Yes really....Bucky." He positively beamed.

"Say it again."

"What?"

"My name, say it again." you rolled your eyes.

"Bucky."

"I promise you, you wont regret this." He slowly put his arm around you and continued your walk. You felt your heart pounding, part from anxiety part from the sheer excitement of being so close to James Buchanan Barnes.

***

Another month had passed. Bucky had taken you out for coffee a few times, you'd forced him to watch a few movies he had missed and refused to admit he actually liked. True to his word, he was taking his time. Letting you get to know him. You were like a baby deer, he knew if he moved too quickly he'd spook you. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't dying to kiss you. But he made the decision that he wouldn't do that until he was 100% certain you wanted him to, but it was killing him.

"Sergeant Barnes" Friday's sharp voice grabbed his attention. It had taken Bucky a while to get used to Friday. She still scared the hell out of him every time she called out to him. He let his heart rate go back to normal before he answered her.

"Yes Friday?"

"Ms. Stark is in distress. She needs some assistance." Steve and Tony were on a mission. Sam was out on a date and Natasha was visiting Clint and his family. It had literally just been you and Y/N for the evening. You had ordered in some dinner and he had told her stories of himself and Steve growing up. He had quite literally walked you to your bedroom door and bid you goodnight. He had put his hand on your cheek and rubbed it slightly with his thumb before he had walked away. It had been a good night, or he had thought.

"Is her room locked?" Bucky was moving quickly to your wing of the compound. "No, I disabled the lock." Friday responded.

When Bucky reached your door he had planned on knocking but he heard you screaming so he threw the door open. You were tangled up in your blankets thrashing in your bed like someone was holding you down. Beads of sweat covered your face and body. You were in the throws of a nasty nightmare. "No...please no. No more...I don't know anything" you cried. Your body stiffened like a board. If he didn't know better he would have thought you had a seizure. 

 He sat down next to you. "Y/N...wake up. Please wake up." he tried to shake you lightly but you thrashed away. He took hold of both of your shoulders and shook you hard. "Y/N Wake up!" he yelled. As your eyes shot open you pushed him away as you sat up trying to scramble away from him. He wrapped his arms around you so you didn't hurt yourself and held you close to him as you tried to fight him away. "Shhh...it's okay. It's me, It's Bucky. You're safe. You're in your bed at the compound. Stop fighting me. I'm not going to hurt you." It took a good 5 minuets for you to calm down. You slowly stopped fighting and he felt you slip your arms around his torso and bury your face in his neck. He felt your hot tears against his skin. "You're okay." he kept saying over and over. After a little while you pulled away and you looked positively shattered.

"I'm sorry for hitting you. I....I didn't realize it was you." He wiped the tears from your cheeks and tucked your hair behind your ears.

"Doll...you couldn't hurt me if you really tried." You smiled a little. "That was a bad one." He had heard her cry out before, many times, but nothing this bad. The only other time she didn't wake herself up was when they were on the jet from Wakanda.

"I haven't had a nightmare like that in a really long time."

"Do you want to talk about it." You sighed and took a moment to meet his eyes.

"Sometimes...when I dream, I can still smell my flesh burning." He hadn't expected you to say that. You pulled your leg out from under the blanket. You were wearing an over sized Stark Industry T-shirt and a pair of shorts. It was the first time he had seen your leg and tattoo up close. You took his hand and placed it on the tattoo so he could feel the scarring. It took him a moment to get over the shock, but you wanted him to feel the scar, you knew he would recognize it. It had a distinct shape. It took him a moment to realize what it was and he looked up at you, horrified. The mark was huge. It was almost the entire size of your Tattoo. "They branded me with the Hydra symbol. I've felt pain before...but nothing, nothing like that. Please don't look at me like that. Like you feel sorry for me."

"It's not pity, Y/N. It's admiration. That you made it through that."

"You made it through worse. I'm a fraud. I preached to you, and to my brother about working through your trauma. About recovery. And here I am, years later still so damaged. I didn't want to get involved with you partly because I was scared to let someone in, that's true. But mostly because I'm so damn broken and you deserve someone who isn't." You put your hand over his that was still resting on your leg.

"Y/N...don't you get it...all of us here are a little bit broken. You, Me, Steve, your brother, Nat, even Sam has his demons. You can't be a solider and not have them. But we get through it because we have each other. The reason why I feel so much for you is because you understand. How could I ever be with someone who didn't? I love you, broken pieces and all." It took Bucky a moment to realize what he had said to you as he took in your wide eyed look.

"What did you say?" You whispered. He took a deep breath and smiled at you.

"I love you. Broken pieces and all." You hadn't been seeing each other all that long, but you had spent almost two years together. He had been in love with you before you even agreed to semi-date him. He just hadn’t realized it until recently. He was bracing himself for you to pull away. Instead, you jumped up on your knees, grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulled you into his lap and kissed you back. When you both finally pulled away, you were breathless. You had even surprised yourself. For the first time since Steve Rogers had pulled you from Hydra's dungeon you did something completely spontaneous and dove in without over thinking it.

"I didn't think anyone could ever love me. He told me that I was easy to fool because I was so desperate to love, yet I was unlovable.” Bucky clenched his jaw, certain that if Natasha hadn’t killed him, that he would hunt him down and do it himself. 

"How could I not be completely in love with you? You’re so smart, and funny, you care about so many people. You save lives. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Through the eyes of everyone else that you know, but especially mine. God...Y/N...you're everything. You can’t believe a thing that monster said to you." You rested your forehead against his. You wanted to say it back...more than anything, but you weren't just ready. Instead...you did what you could do. You reached over into your nightstand and pulled out a little black box and handed it to him after you sat back down next to him. His eyes darkened when he opened it. It was an engagement ring. White gold, two karats and emerald cut.

"You’re right. I know that you’re right. I just can’t seem to get his words out of my head.” You paused and then gestured to the ring. “That's the ring he proposed to me with. It was the classic proposal. We were at a restaurant, it was Valentine’s Day...he put the ring in the dessert, then he got down on one knee. It was everything I thought I ever wanted. He played me. I've held onto it for so long because I wanted to remind myself how he betrayed me. Remind myself that I couldn't trust anyone other than my family. Well my family that is in this compound anyway. I didn't think I would ever be ready and then I met you." He studied your face, trying to figure out where this was going, but he couldn't tell. You had so many emotions sprawled across your face. "I want you to get rid of it. I don't need it anymore."

"Are you sure?" Bucky knew what it was like to hold onto the darkness of your past, it could serve as a blanket of sorts, he knew what it was like to use pain to keep you warm at night.

"Yes. Go...put it down the garbage disposal, burn it, shoot it, I don't care. Just get it away from me and then comeback and lay with me. " He kissed you lightly on your lips, told you he would be right back and ran out of the room. True to his word, 20 minutes later he was back with some extra pillows and climbed into your bed and pulled you close to him. Neither of you said anything else. It was the first time you slept without nightmares in years.

***

"Ahh haaaaaa...I KNEW IT." Sam laughed. He had come to visit you in the med bay as you were organizing your supplies. Tony was off in his lab working on his latest project. Steve, Natasha and Bucky were off on a mission to bust an arms dealer. It left you to entertain Sam.

"Shut up Sammy." You glared at him...it was the most pathetic glare he had ever seen.

"Sergeant Barnes..." he teased. "I KNEW you had it bad for him the moment he said you would only call him that...the way you were brushing him off, ignoring him. Girl I know you. And damn it's about time you put out for that boy. I couldn't stand the brooding anymore."

"You're such an asshole." you jumped back as he poked at your stomach teasing you further.

"But seriously Y/N...you seem so happy. Like a burden has been lifted. I'm really happy for you. I'm even happy for our little Popsicle." you laughed a full belly laugh.

"I have to say, Steve is so happy that someone else gets made fun of about being frozen  because my brother is relentless." Your ears perked up when you heard the Quinjet land in the bay.

"Look at how excited you are." Sam teased. You flipped him off and then laughed. Your happiness was abruptly halted when you heard Steve scream your name. You and Sam gave each other a concerned look and ran out to meet him.

"It's Bucky. It's bad. He was shot...it's, it’s really bad...he’s not healing. He's lost a lot of blood. We were going to take him to the hospital but he refused. He said he didn't want anyone touching him but you."

"I can't operate on him! He's my boyfriend. Jesus...get him in here." You turned to Sam. "Go get me the hemostatic gauze. It's in the top shelf of the far left cabinet." You hurried back into the med bay and starting washing up. "Friday!" you yelled.

"Yes Ms. Stark?"

"Tell Dr. Banner I need him in the Med Bay." You somehow turned off your emotions and moved quickly into business mode. Steve and Natasha carried Bucky into the room and got him up on the table. "Steve....use those scissors and cut his suit off of him so I can see what we're dealing with." You went up to Bucky's head and smoothed his hair back.

"Hey gorgeous." He whispered, his lips were pale.

"Hey...hey. I'm going to fix you up okay? Don't try to talk. And don't you dare die on me okay?" You clenched your jaw and got to work.

A few hours later you sat outside of the room Bucky was recovering in. You twirled the strange bullet around in your fingers, staring off into space. Steve sat down next to you and pulled you out of your thoughts.

"What the hell is that?"

"This...is the bullet that almost killed him. When it entered his skin, it expanded, blocking him from healing. There must be something else about it that makes it effective on anyone with enhanced healing abilities. THAT is for my brother and Bruce to figure out. I have no idea. But they were ready for you and Bucky. They wanted to take you out. Steve...why did you listen to him instead of taking him to the nearest hospital?"

"Y/N...he was adamant that it be you. He wanted to be brought to you. He fought me and Natasha the entire way. I was afraid if he kept fighting he'd bleed out so we brought him here. Honestly, the only other person that is equipped to save him is Helen Cho...and she's further away." You leaned forward and put your face in your hands.

"He's lucky. Really freaking lucky." Steve put a steadying hand on your back. You gave him a side glance. "I don't know what I would have done if he died and I didn't get to tell him I loved him."

"He knows. You’ve shown him in a thousand different ways. You guys have been together for 6 months. He knows that you aren't ready to say it. That it's going to take a while for you to be ready to say it. But he knows you do. You show him you do even if you can't say it. The day you had him trash that ring he knew."

"He told you about that?" You whispered. You hadn’t told anyone you had kept the ring that long.

"He tells me everything. Just like I tell him everything. But you’re all he talks about.”

"Steve...I didn't think I could ever love anyone again.I love him so much. He’s been so patient with me, so understanding. Anyone else would have given up on me by now. I can't lose him."

"Tell him that. You know how short life is. You know how quickly it can end. Don't wait."

"I mean...I feel like you can't tell me how short life is. You're like 100 years old." He pushed you away from him and laughed.

"Real funny, Y/N...real funny."

"I'm going to go sit with him and wait for him to wake up."

Bucky felt you before he opened his eyes and physically saw you. You held his hand in yours, slowly rubbing your thumb over his hand. He slowly opened his eyes. You were looking down at the floor and didn't realize he was awake, it wasn't until he squeezed your hand until you shot your eyes up.

"Bucky!" You jumped up and were fussing over him. "How do you feel? You should be close to healed now that I got that bullet out. Does anything hurt?" and you continued to rattle off question after question.

"Sweetheart, slow down." You stopped at looked at him and then slapped him in the shoulder. "OW! What are you doing? I was just shot!” You smacked him again.

"Yeah...and you're a Super Solider! Now that the bullet is gone you're fine. Why didn't you go to the nearest hospital?! They could have at least started to treat you and I could have come to you. Or better yet we could have gotten Helen there! I'm not supposed to operate on loved ones! It's against like everything I ever agreed to. You could have freaking died before you got here!"

"Geeze...I get...what like two minutes  of sympathy and then you're yelling at me?  I didn't trust anyone else. And I just wanted you." You leaned forward and pressed a hard kiss to his lips. "Are you alright? You're acting a little bipolar right now." He joked.

"You almost died." You whispered.

"But I didn't." he put his hand on the side of your cheek. "You can't get rid of me that easily sweetheart. I’m in this for the long haul."

"I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I love you...so much. More than anything." You kissed him again.

"Say it again."

"I love you."

"Say it again...with my name."

"Bucky, I love you." You kissed him again.

"Seriously...stop making out. You guys are vile" Sam said with disgust.

"Get out!" Bucky threw a pillow at Sam, but hit Steve instead.

"Dude...seriously you should have seen her in action. Your girl's got some skills.” Sam sat on the other side of the bed.

"I thought I said to get out?" Bucky crossed his arms in front of them.  You patted his shoulder.

"Be nice...Sam helped. I'll be right back, I have to go let everyone else know you're awake." As you stepped towards the door you looked back at him and he shot you a wink and then proceeded to tell a demanding Sam what happened on the mission.

***

"Baby you got this." You and Bucky stood outside of your new place of employment. You had decided to go back to work on a case by case basis. You didn't want to work at the hospital full time, still preferring to work for The Avengers, but it was time to get yourself back to as normal of a life as you could. Operating on Bucky had given you the itch to put your skills to use again. You could save lives and it was time you got back to it. So two months later after finding the hospital that would agree to your terms, you were attempting your first day back. They were thrilled to have the talented and notorious Y/N Stark on their roster. You already had a stack of cases to work through.

"I know...it's just the last time I was in a hospital...someone knocked me out and well...you know the rest." Bucky put his hands on your shoulders. 

"No one is going to hurt you, or take you. I promise you that." He kissed your forehead.

"I know, rational me knows all of this. But there’s that tiny bit of me that is still trapped in that room. I just need to go inside and once I get to work I'll be fine. It'll be like riding a bike."

"You need me...you call me okay? I took myself off missions for the next week. I'll be right here if you need me."

"I know." He leaned down and kissed you on the lips.

"Call me when you're done and I'll meet you out here."

And that was the starting point of your new life. The more time went on, the more you worked and now, almost two years since you and Bucky got together you were back to almost a full time schedule. Tony was thrilled that you were operating again and back to yourself. Your nightmares were at bay, you credited  Bucky being next to you every night. It had taken a good long time, but you were seemingly healed. You still had your scars, they would never leave you, but they no longer held you back. You had gone to Wakanda to save him and he ended up saving you too.  James Buchanan Barnes had truly transformed your life.

You and Bucky had dinner plans, but that night an emergency case had come in and you volunteered to stay. When a 10 year old patient needs expert hands, you don't say no. You slowly dragged your tired body through the compound to your shared wing with Bucky. You opened the door and saw it was relatively dark, but there was a trail of rose petals leading to the balcony off of your living room. You smiled and followed the path and found Bucky standing and waiting for you. There he stood in his well fitting jeans and a fitted black henley.

"Give me a minute, I'll change. I’m kind of gross" You looked down at your black scrubs and sneakers. Your hair piled on top of your head.

"Stop...you look beautiful." You rolled your eyes.

"I'm a mess."

"Shut up...you're ruining my moment." He might as well have stomped is foot like a child.

"Okay, okay. I'm shutting up." You closed the door behind you. You looked around and he had white Christmas lights strung up along the railings, there was champagne and clearly some sort of dinner under the covered plates. 

“SInce we couldn’t go dinner, I decided to bring dinner to you.”

"How did you know when I'd be home?"

"I had one of the girls at the hospital call me when you were on your way." He grinned. He stepped closer to you and took both of your hands. "It took us a long time to get here. And you were worth the wait. God were you worth the wait. I sometimes wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn't..." he trailed off. "What is it that Pepper always says? Everything happens for a reason. I never believed that...not until I met you. Because if everything didn't happen the way it did...I never would have met you. I never would feel this utterly complete and so happy. You helped me heal in so many ways. I don't know if I'll ever be able to really thank you...but I want to spend the rest of my life trying." You widened your eyes. He didn't get down on one knee...he didn't want to be cliche. He didn't want this to be like your other proposal. So he pulled the black box out of his pocket and opened it for you. It was a 3 karat princess cut diamond with small diamonds on a band that weaved like an infinity sign. "Marry me." You put your hand over your mouth for a moment to blink back the tears of pure happiness in your eyes. You never thought you'd ever want to marry anyone else again. But here was Bucky Barnes proving you wrong yet again. You nodded your head at him. "I need you to say it."

"Yes."

"Say it again."

"Yes." He tilted his head to the side and you knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it.

"Say it again with my name."

"Yes Bucky...I'll marry you."

He scooped you up in his arms and spun you around and then gave you a searing kiss before he slid the ring on your finger. Never in his life would he ever get sick of hearing his name on your lips. You kissed him again, thankful for the man that blew into your life and put all your broken pieces back together again.