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haunting-jane · 4 months ago

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Aang's grief

From the first time I've watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, I've always been really attached to Aang's character and deeply sympathized with his pain. One of the reasons for that, I muse, is the show's bittersweet ending that always made me sad. Sure, Ozai was defeated, Zuko is the new firelord, and all peoples are in peace at last. But when one looks at the cheering crowd, no airbenders are found.

Aang is the only person dressed in orange and yellow amidst a sea of red, green, and blue. He succeeded in his mission of uniting everyone, but there is no way of bringing back or fixing what was done a hundred years prior. And this aspect in specific, I think, is where lies one of Aang's most stinging pain: nobody but him knows what the Air Nation genocide represents.

Nobody truly understands him, because they simply aren't old enough to grieve in the same capacity as him. Toph, Sokka, Zuko, Suki and especially Katara are all amazing, empathetic and kind friends and companions, and they are definitely essential parts of his grief journey. But they just don't. get. it.

Katara and Sokka lost their mother to Fire Nation colonialism, Toph was disinherited and forsaken by her parents, and Zuko's traumas don't even have to be mentioned. However, and I believe this extends to the audience as well, they cannot wrap their minds around a loss as big as that. And in my opinion, that is why so many fans tend to gloss over Aang's trauma or not interpret correctly some of his trauma responses.

Aang lost everything. And everyone. He lost his childhood friends, his home, his old toys, his clothes, his favorite culinary recipes, his parental figures, his books, his drawings, his bed. The Air Nation people weren't just eliminated, their culture, poetry, history, art, cuisine, fashion, ALL of it was erased. And as Aang slept for a hundred years, time went on and took anyone who could remember the Air Nation as it once was.

Although the rest of the Gaang suffered a lot, their pain can still be understood and felt by other people who went through similar situations. Aang, however, is alone. Nobody can really understand what it feels like: to be the only survivor of a genocide, with no home to go back to and suddenly awake in a world strange and hostile to you. At 12, to top it all.

This kind of pain, of rushed trauma causes immense disassociation, and I think Aang didn't even process what actually happened until like season two. Maybe even later. How could he? He woke up and the weight of saving the whole world was thrown onto his shoulders. How could a child, at the same time as all of that was happening, truly comprehend that they are responsible for bringing back an entire nation and culture? That's why I think he was so cheerful and generally happy in the first two seasons, he hadn't actually understood what had happened.

The pain, nevertheless, was there. Maybe Aang didn't truly comprehend that he was the only survivor of a genocide and what was at stake, but he did grieve for his people. And boy, he was angry.

I'm not a psychologist, but I consider that Aang was lost in a haze of anger and denial after he found out what had happened. And, to be honest, I really liked to see those moments when anger came out. It felt cathartic, it felt like something he was entitled to. Don't get me wrong, I fell in love with him as a protagonist precisely because he's a sweetie and a cutie pie. And he definitely deserves to be happy and silly as any normal child. But sometimes I feel like his anger is not really understood, maybe not even by himself.

He wasn't angry just at Fire Nation, he was angry at the Airbender elders who forced him into fulfilling his role as avatar at 12, he was angry at Gyatso for not defending him (or as he erroneously thought), but most importantly, Aang was angry at himself. He was the avatar after all, why did he run and abandon his people to die?

Being a child who did not have time or the means to properly grieve, and was also going through immense pressure, self-blame surely did a number on him and his mental health. Of course he would give up on learning firebending after he accidentally burned Katara. There was no way Aang would ever accept being remotely similar to those who took everything from him (and who took Katara's mom).

Of course he would be initially salty and angry at the people living in the old Air temple, they were acting as if the airbenders never existed in the first place, at least that's how he saw it. He was right there! Maybe his culture was dead, but his tradition still deserved some respect! Still deserved a place in the world! Still deserved to be remembered!

Of course he would be angry at EVERYONE when Appa was captured. He loved Momo deeply, but the lemur wasn't there with him while it all was happening a hundred years ago. Appa was the only one who saw everything, who had lost as much as him. Losing Appa was like losing his last connection, his last piece of the Air Nation. Of course he would be unfair, grieving children do tend to act irrational in moments of anger, especially when they feel isolated from everybody else. It couldn't have been any different, really.

And honestly, I think those issues persisted into his very adulthood. Naturally, losing absolutely everything might be something one never gets over, but considering that Aang never went to therapy and never resolved his internal conflicts and understood his grief, it all persisted.

And obviously he wasn't a very good father. Aang spent his entire life trying to fix what could never be mended, trying to make up for the time he was away in the iceberg, trying to convince himself that he wasn't a failure.

It might be an unpopular opinion, but I do believe he and Katara kept trying until they got an Airbender, and I do not think it would be out of character. Some Aang defenders try really hard to state that he wasn't a bad father. But guys, there's no escaping facts: it's almost impossible to conciliate being the avatar and the responsibilities that come with it with being a good parent.

Of course he would try to repopulate the Air Nation if he never really got over the belief that he was responsible for its destruction in the first place. I know, when studying with that guru, Aang seemingly understandood that he couldn't keep blaming himself for something that he was never in control, but I don't think this kind of conviction can be so easily internalized. Especially when you're blinded by such poignant and isolating grief.

So he favored Tenzin. How could he bring his culture back if he didn't prioritize his little Airbender's upbringing? I wanna make it clear, though, that although I understand why Aang was the way that he was, I'm not justifying his actions. Bumi and Kya were after all emotionally neglected by their father, and that was also not fair.

But, in the end, grief rarely is. Grief kept Aang from truly participating in his two eldest children' childhoods and from seeing that his legacy wouldn't lie on just bringing the Airbenders back.

And I think grief also clouded Aang's eyes with guilt as he realized he could never give Tenzin what was given to him. His tattoo ceremony must have been so sad for Aang, as there was probably only himself, Tenzin, Katara, Bumi and Kya present. The elders were gone, the sky bison were gone, the instruments, the music, the speeches. The richness and culture. He could never give that to Tenzin.

This too, I believe, is also a huge pain Aang carried. The pain of the certainty that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried on teaching Tenzin everything he knew, of trying to recuperate as much as humanly possible, the Air Nation he knew would never come back. He could find new Air acolytes, discover a new species of sky bison, sew their clothes as accurately as he could...The Air Nation technically would return, when Tenzin had children.

And he did, and Korra opened the portal and suddenly there were dozens of airbenders. But it would never be the same. They would never have the privilege that other nations had, of revisiting their own past, of having their history documented and culture preserved. No. That Air Nation would die with Aang, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

And due to the amount of pressure he put on himself, there was no way he wouldn't pass it on to Tenzin. Can you guys imagine how he felt after Aang passed? Now, he was the one responsible for the Air Nation, and he knew damn well that he was supposed to do it knowing he'd never be as good as Aang. He'd have to find a way to preserve tradition while never actually having known it. To fulfill his father's role and essentially, be him.

Tenzin's pains and traumas are certainly ignored too and deserve a post of their own, tbh. He most definitely compared himself to Aang all the time, and even though he spent most of his childhood with his father, I don't think it was necessarily easy.

Anyway. I'm not really sure how to conclude this. I don't consider Aang an ultimately tragic figure, he did live a happy life alongside his wife and his friends. But I don't think he ever stopped grieving. After all, he wasn't living in usual conditions prior avatars lived in. He had to take on so much responsibility, to grow up so fast, to witness so much chaos and death, only at 12.

In his soul, Aang was a gentle spirit, as Yangchen cleverly put, and a good person, in the raw sense of the word. It just wasn't fair. All that he went through.

Maybe there really isn't a moral of the story or a lesson here. Maybe things are just unfair and not fixable.

So yeah, although Avatar: The Last Airbender technically had a good ending, I can't help feeling blue every time it ends. Because I know Aang, my favorite character of the verse, never really, truly got a happy ending himself. And because I know he'd have to live the rest of his life carrying that pain and that grief.

It brings me a little comfort, however, of thinking that perhaps Aang was watching Jinora's tattoo ceremony. That he was seeing all those airbenders and he was seeing his little granddaughter becoming a master. And that maybe he smiled.

And that maybe, at last, he forgave himself.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar aang #aang #fire lord ozai #zuko #katara #toph #sokka #suki #tenzin #bumi #kya #jinora

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sapphic-agent · 11 months ago

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"Stop using Yangchen for your shitty argument."

So, I was browsing the anti Aang tag around a week ago I think and I came upon a post that displayed frustration for people who condemn Aang not wanting to kill Ozai. I'm not 100% sure that this was targeted at my post specifically, but as I did use Yangchen, I do want to clarify how I interpret her words as well as the other past lives' advice and Aang's reaction.

(Here's my first post if you haven't read it: https://www.tumblr.com/sapphic-agent/745211292168732672/lets-talk-about-how-book-3-ruined-aang?source=share)

This person's main argument centered around how the previous Avatars never actually told Aang to kill Ozai. That their words were for him to interpret. And I actually agree. One of my central arguments was that this was a choice Aang had to make.

The thing is though, Aang himself absolutely interpreted their messages as him having to kill Ozai. That's why he gets so frustrated ("I knew I shouldn't have asked Kyoshi") and keeps cycling through them until he gets the answer he wants. Let's go through exactly what they all said to him.

Roku: If I had been more decisive and acted sooner, I could have stopped Sozin and stopped the war before it started. I offer you this wisdom, Aang, you must be decisive.

Roku tells Aang to be decisive. Which means he's urging Aang to make a decision. And this is perfectly in-line with what I said previously. He has to be able to make a choice between his morals/beliefs and his responsibility as the Avatar, as Roku failed to choose between his attachment to Sozin and his responsibility as the Avatar. That's what Roku's saying and that's exactly how Aang understands it.

Kyoshi: Personally, I don't really see the difference, but I assure you, I would have done whatever it took to stop Chin. I offer you this wisdom, Aang, only justice will bring peace.

Kyoshi's advice actually makes it less about Aang and more about Ozai. He needs to face justice so that the world can know peace. She, like Roku, does not say kill Ozai, she says bring him to justice. Aang's later actions are actually very much in-line with that. He does bring Ozai to justice through his own means. But again, that's not how Aang interpreted her advice. He takes it to mean do what she did, which is why he's salty about it after she disappears.

Kuruk: If I had been more attentive and more active, I could've saved her. Aang, you must actively shape your own destiny and the destiny of the world.

Again, Kuruk's words imply murder even less than Kyoshi's. He tells Aang to be active, to embrace his responsibility to the world and its fate as the Avatar. This is something Aang has struggled with since the beginning of the show so it makes sense that Kuruk would say this. But again, Aang takes it as something he doesn't want to hear. He either thinks that Kuruk is implying that he has to kill Ozai or that he thinks Kuruk is saying to be more active as the Avatar (if it's the latter, that makes Aang look worse because it's advice he's still unhappy with).

(I'd also like to add that Aang isn't looking for alternatives from his past lives. Or at least, he isn't just looking for alternatives. He's looking for one of them to validate him not wanting to kill Ozai and offer advice based on that. Which is why he says, "Maybe an Air Nomad Avatar will understand where I'm coming from." So them not giving him alternatives is not why he's upset)

Yangchen: Many great and wise Air Nomads have detached themselves and achieved spiritual enlightenment, but the Avatar can never do it. Because your sole duty is to the world. Here is my wisdom for you. Selfless duty calls you to sacrifice your own spiritual needs, and do whatever it takes to protect the world.

Out of everyone, Yangchen is probably the closest one to telling Aang he has to kill Ozai. She directly tells him that he has to sacrifice his spiritual needs, which heavily implies that she means go against what the monks taught him and end Ozai for the sake of the world. And that's absolutely how Aang understands it. He even says out loud, "I guess I don't have a choice, Momo. I have to kill the Fire Lord."

So yes, I 100% agree that their advice was up to Aang's interpretation. But what this person- and Aang stans in general- seemed to miss is that Aang himself interpreted their advice as him having to kill Ozai.

Now, does he have to follow their advice? Absolutely not. In Yangchen's words from the Kyoshi novels, "You could spend a thousand years talking to us and you still wouldn't know how best to guide the world." Their advice is just that, advice. Their words aren't law and shouldn't be regarded as such (especially not Roku's, he's consistently given terrible advice/direction).

Hell, in my original post I said I didn't think he had to kill Ozai. Just that he should have had to make the choice between his beliefs and responsibility and face the consequences of that choice. The only reason I brought up the past Avatars at all is because I was pointing out that he refused to accept answers (not just from them, but also from the Gaang) he didn't want to hear. And when he finally did accept it, he was immediately spared from having to make the choice by the Lion Turtle

#aang critical #anti aang #tagging just in case #it's even less anti aang than the first one #avatar yangchen #avatar kuruk #avatar kyoshi #avatar roku

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deripmaver · 2 years ago

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analyzing kentaro miura’s words on casca’s recovery

Below I’ve attached three separate screenshots of translations of a 2019 interview done by Young Animal ZERO magazine with Kentaro Miura on the topic of Casca’s recovery and revival. These aren’t new of course, but I want to discuss my reaction to them, and also discuss how I think they fit in with the current direction the story has taken with Studio Gaga’s chapters.

First up, a fan translation originally from skullknight.net, reposted to twitter:

Up next, a google translated version from kojion on twitter, who’s provided a few interviews that haven’t yet reached English speaking fans:

Finally, I’m not 100% sure what this is. It seems to follow from the above screenshots, but it’s not clear if this is just kojion’s interpretation of the interview response, or if this is specifically something Kentaro Miura said. I messaged him on twitter to ask, and I’ll update this post accordingly with his response!

This interview response was, no exaggeration, like a balm on my soul to read the first time I saw it. With how prevalent rape is in Berserk, and with how long it took for Casca to be revived, I admit I couldn’t help falling into this pit of frustration where I wondered if Miura even knew the extent of how awful what he put her through was. Her mental state, of course, did indicate he was aware of that - and then her revival happened, and the corridor of dreams, and I just remember being in actual tears because of how we went into Casca’s mind to show the trauma from her eyes. I can’t think of a more effective way to show something as serious as rape, genuinely.

And then, of course, this interview response, and again I remember thinking: Wow. This author really gets it. It was the thing that really made me confident in his ability to tell the story of Casca’s recovery.

First up, the very first part of the response: Casca’s awakening is not the end of her journey, it’s the beginning. This is absolutely, incredibly realistic. I think Miura likes to tease the audience in a sort of mean way lol, there’s the beautiful, dramatic panels where Casca awakens, and she’s put in that gorgeous fairy dress - almost like a wedding dress, you could say - and she’s sent off to have her romantic reunion with Guts...

And lol. We all remember how that went. Miura is such a troll lmao (affectionate)(kind of).

But of course, just because she’s in control of her mind again doesn’t at ALL mean she’s processed her trauma. Guts has had years to process what happened, but she’s been completely stuck this whole time.

We know from her dreamscape that it was Griffith’s betrayal that really, truly broke her mind (I won’t include the panels here because I don’t want to CRY), and that sort of loss of trust is in no way mended by simply returning to herself. Again, then, two things that made me so astonishingly confident in Miura’s ability to tell Casca’s story from the interview: He's writing Casca as a human, who will react in a natural, human way to her trauma, and that she needs to face up to what Griffith did. This, to me, very clearly indicates that her upcoming arc is going to be focused on facing up to the trauma Griffith caused her, and this is especially hammered in by what’s happening to her currently in canon, being stuck in Falconia with Griffith and with her memories, again, magically suppressed so she can’t begin to process anything. I genuinely can’t imagine any other way for things to go for her.

One more note before I go on to my ~predictions~ based on the current chapters is that I want to highlight this panel here:

If you follow me on twt you’ve seen me say this before but PTSD flashbacks have the person not just remembering the traumatic event, but feeling as though they’re experiencing the traumatic event all over again. Miura is aware that Casca simply regaining her memories wouldn’t be the end of her recovery but the beginning, knows that the real key to healing is processing the traumatic event, and knows that PTSD flashbacks make you feel as though you’re experiencing the trauma all over again. It’s far more sensitive than I’d expect most authors, let alone a cishet dude mangaka lol.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR CASCA?

I need to admit I’m making this post because earlier I got into a conversation on tumblr with someone who claimed that people read too much into Miura’s comments on Casca’s recovery, that they don’t indicate that she’ll successfully heal, that there’s no indication from the comments that he intended to write a full deep dive into Casca’s mental state and trauma, and that for all we know this would just be a side plot a la Farnese’s growth.

My position is that I genuinely can’t think of anything else that Casca’s upcoming storyline could be about besides her struggling with her trauma (and of course trying to escape Falconia, but in my mind those go hand in hand). I also think that I simply have different ideas about how important Casca is narratively than this person, which is the root of our difference in opinion on Casca’s recovery.

Right now, Casca has been kidnapped by Griffith and taken to Falconia, where she is being magically drugged to suppress her memories, and her healing. Her storyline necessitates that she get away from Griffith and out from the spell currently suppressing her personality, and getting out from under this spell will mean the return of the memories she was starting to process in Elfheim.

While it’s terrifying that Casca is away from her support system (and has been kidnapped by her RAPIST jesus christ) I actually think being away from Guts is the necessary key to her processing Griffith’s rape on her own terms. Guts is a massive trigger for her PTSD currently, and there’s the duality of her desire to see him and the likely ensuing guilt and frustration and sadness that comes with being unable to. Without his presence around her, I actually think it’ll be easier for her because there won’t be an expectation of her being with him.

There are people who we KNOW are in Falconia and will likely be Casca’s support system, we just currently have no idea how they’ll all meet up. I know Luca and the girls will be instrumental to Casca’s story because otherwise there would be no reason to bring them back and also for Casca to mention them explicitly in Elfheim.

The other point made by this person on tumblr is that Miura’s interview doesn’t indicate that Casca will recover. Perhaps, they say, her story will end with Casca unable to cope. I think this in people’s minds leads easily into the Apostle Casca theory, which I’ll be honest and repeat that I fucking hate so much LOL. I get it in some sense, but I really do hate it as a theory. As Miura says, though, he’s writing Casca as a real person, and there are absolutely very low points in trauma recovery, so I expect her to go through a lot of strife.

It’s difficult in some ways to look at these responses because there’s the language barrier. “she should confront what Griffith or the monsters did” and “she will now have to overcome the trauma” both, to me, seem to positively indicate that overcome is the intended outcome, but of course I’m not sure. Now, if kojion’s second tweet is a translated quote from Miura himself and not just his analysis of it, that’s kind of a smoking gun that recovery is the intended outcome of Casca’s arc, but I’m not sure one way or another.

This is purely based on my emotional response, but I think a story where a woman is betrayed and raped by one of her closest companions, who loses her mind for years because she’s unable to cope with the trauma of the betrayal, who finally has her memories returned to her and now needs to go on the incredibly difficult and painful journey of processing this betrayal - to have her story end tragically with the result that she’s never able to recover would...

Hm. Let’s say that it would need to be handled with extreme care. It might be the thing that gets Berserk to warrant its grimdark reputation.

As a conclusion, I think this one quote has a ton of potential for analysis inherent to it, particularly for fans of Casca, who are having a bit of a renaissance on twitter right now HAHA and I’m trying to gather them on tumblr too. If you combine it with various tidbits of Miura’s chapters from before his death, as well as the continuation by Studio Gaga, it helps create in my mind a decent picture of the trajectory of Casca’s arc, though the specifics are still up in the air.

Either way, I want to say to any Casca stans reading this that I really do think that Casca’s story is important, and will be shown as important going forward. I always hesitate to trust cishet authors for obvious reasons lol, but at least I can say that if she’s shown to NOT be important, that will entirely be on him and his sexism, and I think it will inherently make the story weaker. I don’t think that will be the case, though.

WE’VE WAITED THIS FUCKING LONG-

#berserk meta #casca berserk #casca #berserk #berserk fanfic #gutsca

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plethoraworldatlas · 6 months ago

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Take the Test Theory and Analysis

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A lot of people seem to be taking the video as very literal, but I think I got an interesting way to view it;

Think of the video as not what actually is happening, but as how a mentally broken Miss Delight chooses the remember the traumatic things she saw. Miss Delight, despite wanting to teach in a different way, teaches to the test. A very standardized test made by the scientists of Playtime Co. meant to measure very specific things. Kids not only get bored of it really quick, but many also eventually start attaching their sense of self worth and value as a student on their inability to get a perfect score. Because kids who get perfect scores are "selected" to go to "advanced classes", the "fun classes", and they get taken there by CatNap.

Now look at how Miss Delight tried to prepare kids for the tests; Generally unhelpful reviews of materials that isn't really on the test, even outright lying by the final test. Constantly trying to get kids to not put so much value on perfect scores, desperately trying to get the ones who do score perfect to stay and keep learning her way. Because she knows what happens when CatNap, under orders from the scientists, takes a kid away for advanced classes; They are experimented on, or as she interprets it now, they "grow up too early".

Some people are thinking that the smiling critters in the video are the literal cartoon critters being turned into the bigger bodies versions, but I think that's a wrong way to look at it. Miss Delight isn't just mentally broken by what she did to survive, but what she saw happen to her students before the Hour of Joy; She saw her best students slowly get taken away never to be seen again, and eventually more living toys appeared that sounded or acted like them. And she helped the scientists select the best of them.

She's coping with the terrible things she saw and was forced to take part in by repressing the truth, making things more metaphorical and cartoonish to keep from confronting the truth; Her massive head injury from her broken face add a physical component to her mental state as well. I don't think she's watching the toon critters being turned into living toys; That's just how she chooses to remember it, because while it's also terrible, it's still nor that bad, just critters "growing up too fast" and having bad lives.

In reality, she was teaching human children in Playcare, and when they got selected for their perfect scores, they got taken away and turned into the living toys, through the horrible experiments that removed every shred of their humanity; And the kids, not knowing what would happen to them, wanting to join their friends in the fun classes, wanting to move on past the boring repetitive and little kid classes, wanting to prove their self worth that the scientists have made them attach to getting perfect scores, rush towards that dark fate no matter what Miss Delight tried.

In the end of the video, she sees she failed; Her former students "grew up too fast" and hurt for it. The human children she couldn't protect were turned into pained living toys, who went through the Hour of Joy and beyond. She even feels sorrow and pain for CatNap, knowing he had no choice in his role in taking children for the scientists, just like her. She doesn't even remember what she did to her "sisters", or that CatNap trapped her in the school and forced her into cannibalism; She just repressed that and chooses to remember CatNap knocking her out and her waking up in a ruined school with a broken face.

Even worse, she chooses to remember creating Barb not as a way to defend herself from living toys, former students and sisters trying to kill and eat her, but as a mercy; The scientists can't take her students away if she kills them first. She feels sorry for what she's done, what she couldn't stop, but she's too far gone and too hateful and just too hungry to stop attacking whatever and whoever gets close to her. So she chooses to see things differently from what they really are

#smiling critters #miss delight #recd #poppy playtime #Take the test #Youtube

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sailorgundam308 · 1 year ago

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Got pretty annoyed yesterday while discussing the game with a friend (don’t worry, we’re still friends lol). But truly, I got annoyed at, once more, seeing how there are wrong assumptions weaved into the community discourse - things based out of someone’s ass, apparently, that got traction and now are repeated by players as if it’s true. But, of course, if anyone stops 2 seconds to actually pay attention to the game, these ideas prove to be just wrong.

This friend, for example, was mentioning how Astarion and Karlach NEVER agree or disagree together in anything. That’s a lie. I’ve (me myself, so I KNOW firsthand) been screen shooting every time there’s an agreement between them and when there isn’t. There are much more agreements than disagreements between Astarion and Karlach. They do come across as having different alignments, but they think alike MUCH more than ‘the internet’ (or even some devs?!) tend to believe. They might justify their rationale in different ways but they do agree together and disagree together way more than they disagree with each other. So that is something I personally can attest to.

Then I heard the argument that Karlach and Astarion don’t get unique scenes between each other: again, untrue. The tiefling party scene with Karlach, for starters, is the only unique romance scene for Astarion. The only person who has back and forth with Karlach after the paladins of Tyr are defeated is Astarion. They have (out of the top of my head, at least 4 unique short banters while both are in the party - again, more than Karl with any other companion.

Then the wrong assumption Astarion can’t go to Avernus : he can and he goes, both as ascended and spawn if you’re playing origin Karl. Ascended if you’re playing him.

A lot stems, again, from simplistic and shallow interpretations of both these characters’ story arcs and personalities. Others come from prejudice, from passing judgement on their appearance instead of their “content”.

Moreover, though, there will never be as much this x that content if it’s involving Karlach (and worse for Wyll) SIMPLY BECAUSE there is LESS than A THIRD the amount of content for Karlach in ANYTHING.

For some reason writers/devs took a long while to decide to put the work into Karlach and when they did they clearly made a bet that blew in their faces - that she’d be a lesser origin character and that’d turn out alright. But she’s the second most popular character and because people like her, they are paying attention to her story - and the massive lack of work and resources dedicated to her arc. Imagine if she had received the attention in detail and the game time / in game content, say, shadowheart received? Instead of a temple Shar, we went to Avernus? In place of Shar, ZARIEL made a personal appearance? We could’ve gotten a young Karlach flashback cinematic, an extra dungeon in act 3, then a personal quest closure with Gortash instead of SH’s parents, so we’d know what the fuck happened. As someone who can’t give two shits about SH, that would’ve been incredible to play. Half of that would still have been a blast. But we get nowhere near. And I’m only bringing Karlach to attention here as an example - if you look at Wyll (who was the front page origin boy since the conception of the game), the disparity is even more shocking.

I’ve read on a writer’s twitter a while back (can’t remember who exactly so you’ll have to excuse me), that they were the writers for Durge, and for a time they got to write some stuff for Astarion for a bit, due to some task delegation changes and whatnot, and they explicitly said they “managed to put in things specific to their “main” character (durge) in Astarion’s writing” - or something in those lines. Honestly… what the fuck? Not sure if that was the intention, but to me it sounded like someone with their own precious OC, which they are obviously attached to, pushing content in to benefit their “main”. In a game where there are several “mains” and many with glaringly less content than others. Again, in my interpretation of what I read that day, this information came across as the most unprofessional shit I’ve seen - if you are tasked to write someone else’s character, you should act as that character’s writer - not a fanfic writer trying to push a personal headcanon or narrative because it pleases YOU, in detriment of other characters. It was wild at the time and I just kinda… walked away and pretended I didn’t read it. It was just shocking and not the attitude I expected from a serious professional.

Whether that’s the whole truth or not I can’t say, but what I can say is that this left me with a weird taste in my mouth and perhaps that’s why until today I couldn’t finish a single run with Durge despite trying several. There are other issues with Durge for me personally in term of the actual writing of the sentences and the way they were worded that just seems impossible to take seriously. (But I’m trying to get over it still, as I want to experience this part of the game too, so I won’t give any sort of personal final veredict).

Also, the idea that Durge was supposed to be the main character… that’s a new assumption for me and my friend also brought it up. That sounded very sus and I went to read more about it and, of course, that’s also wrong. In previous BG games, we always played a Bhaalspawn. It would make perfect sense we played one again - but the butler shit, the amnesia, the gore erotic fantasies, that wouldn’t fly for the average BG3 player - and wasn’t supposed to. When they decided to split tav to leave the “absolutely neutral protagonist” they parted with the bhaalspawn narrative that was a very big part of the previous games, so I assume they didn’t want to just toss it, but put it to another “dark tav” or whatever shit that means. And then they doubled down with the evil and edge lord of kitschy horror narrative. It’s FINE. But isn’t supposed to be the main character.

TLDR: instead of taking random assumptions about bg3 as yours, pay attention to the game itself. And think critically about it a bit. All the origins are presented AS equals but they’re nothing but. And Larian should be (yes, troubleshooting tech issues but also) trying to even out the absurd gaps they allowed to happen in integrating the narrative of, especially, Karlach and Wyll into the game. Make more and decent content for them, fix the plot holes, rewrite the shit that doesn’t make sense for them FIRST.

Tbh, I wouldn’t be complaining if Larian had owned it to their content and presented us with Karlach and Wyll as sort of Halsin or Minthara type of companion - non origin, lesser tier of companion. Then the production choices they made would be at the very least justified. And I won’t EVEN start on the fact that these two, Karl and Wyll, are the two PoC origins… the black guy and the southeast Asian woman. Because, oh, boy, things start to look VERY bad when you put THAT into this equation… 👀

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chungledown-bimothy · 6 months ago

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it’s wild to me that people are conflating the issues with jkr herself and issues they may have with the story that is hp, and couching it purely in rhetoric regarding transphobia and transmisogyny. hp is not a transphobic book/movie series. the author is the problem here

hp was written by jkr and going back to it as an adult and also with the context of the type of person jkr and the hate she spews means you can see some things definitely stand out as Not Great. but there are two things to that: one is that it’s mostly racist and antisemitic tropes or lazy stereotypes—not great but abundant in fiction, and in particular the context of these books being written in the late 90s/mid 00s by a white christian british woman means it’s entirely unsurprising in the context of when it was written. the attitudes shown in the books were typical of the time. we’ve come extremely far since 1997 and not everyone remembers that

and, more importantly, two: the books themselves are not overtly transphobic, and i’d argue that perhaps with the exception of certain interpretations of chamber of secrets, aren’t transphobic at all, and at the very least are unintentionally insensitive

jkr is the one who’s transphobic. and again, going back in time, she was actually considered quite progressive at the height of this franchise. she’s been radicalized over time, especially online, as many people have been in the last decade or so. it’s unfortunate that she’s a high profile enough person for that to be a really big problem, and it’s no excuse. she’s a vile person, and she spews vile filth, and many people listen to her because she’s jkr, and that hurts many people, and there’s unfortunately little to be done to stop her

but we also can’t pretend that hp wasn’t a cultural touchstone for an entire generation, and dominated media significantly for a decade. most people who were kids, teens, and young adults in the 00s- early 10s have core memories attached to the series. that’s not going to just drop from memory. but she doesn’t actually own an entire genre of children’s literature (even though she may have revolutionized its expansion). unless she dies tomorrow, it’s unlikely that we’ll be able to divorce the author from the work completely for a good few decades

so what’s left? we do what aabria did with the story. we pull the parts that were good, flip it and change it into something else. make new stories in the magic school genre. if hp is the only recent thing in that genre because people don’t want to go near it, it’ll only ever remain that way. if it makes you personally uncomfortable that’s fine, no one’s making you watch it

but it’s insane to act like watching a show that’s not actually hp on a platform unrelated to wb made by people entirely unrelated to jkr and her team is actively funding jkr’s crusade and giving it visibility and a platform. it’s really really not

while i largely agree with you, i do need to push back on a couple of things.

first: your claim that there isn't transphobia in the books.

rita skeeter, whose whole thing is disguising herself to spy on people- specifically children in the books- is described as physically "mannish" a lot, specifically her hands, shoulders, and face. and, iirc, her hair, nails, and other denotations of femininity are described as Very Obviously Fake.

while it's not the most explicit transphobia jk's written, that very much is a Fucking Problem.

second: while i get that the horrible take that sparked this is mostly about transphobia, some of your phrasing comes across as dismissive of the other bigotry.

the racism and antisemitism absolutely go above and beyond what could possibly be excused by "product of the times" shit. that cannot be ignored.

BUT all of that is secondary to the topic at hand, which is summed up very well in your last two paragraphs, i think.

#dimension 20 #i'm not tagging this anything else i simply do not want it in tags lmao

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lovepersevering13 · 4 months ago

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Symbolism Of the Flora in AAA

So there are two main occasions where I think flowers are used specifically for symbolism in relation to Agatha and Rio...

The first is the flower which Rio offers Agatha when she arrives on the road. It is my personal belief that this flower is an Azalea (It looks like it + that's the flower she had in her front yard in WandaVision so it makes sense for Agatha either way)

So from this we can presume that the Azalea is used to symbolise Agatha. Now, what does this mean?

Well, the Azalea flower has a lot of different meanings across different cultures. I read that 'It was often sent as a gift when one person urged another to reconsider their feelings' which would relate to Rio's desire for Agatha to forgive her.

The meaning of the Azalea flower is also linked to a story about a Chinese Emperor who experienced victory and glory in war but was lonely despite this (Agatha being a very powerful and successful witch but having no coven and being an outcast from other witches) one day he was given Azalea's and immediately fell in love (As Agatha did with Rio) and planted them in his garden (The Azaleas in Agnes' garden). This links in to the overarching theme throughout AAA which became especially clear in ep 7, which is the witch's need for connection and community through their coven.

In Chinese and Japanese cultures it is also a symbol of homesickness (Perhaps Rio feeling a homesickness for Agatha as we know she has been unable to reach Agatha for quite some time). There is also the aspect that Azaleas are highly toxic (Rip Sparky...) and receiving a bouquet of them in a black vase is considered a death threat (We have all seen how open Rio is to killing Agatha).

The next plant we see in relation to Agatha and Rio is the Ivy which is on the broom Agatha gives Rio. I'm far more certain about this one because we can clearly see that this is ivy.

So again, there are a few different interpretations of the symbolism of Ivy, but all of them in some way relate to Rio.

Firstly, fidelity. Ivy is known to cling onto anything it attaches to and is hard to remove or get rid of making it a symbol of fidelity (Like how Rio hasn't let go of Agatha even though Agatha has iced her out for so long *cough cough* 'She is my scar').

The next commonly accepted symbolism is eternal life because ivy is an evergreen plant. Obviously we know now that Rio is death, meaning that it is her job to reap souls and take them to the afterlife - therefore providing eternal life.

In ancient Egypt ivy was dedicated to the god Osiris. Osiris played a double role as the god of fertility and also the embodiment of death (sound familiar?). So this plays into the way that AAA has put an emphasis on Rio, as death, also being THE green witch. They're really highlighting death as an equal part of the lifecycle. I think the fertility part of this may also play into Nicholas and Agatha and Rio's role in that.

Now this one I had to do a bit of a deep dive for but... according to this website I read ivy 'lives on after its host plant dies' which is SO related to Rio's job of allowing souls to live on after the body dies.

It is also said that ivy represents 'the eternal binding together of lovers' which would symbolise Rio's desire for Agatha to die so that they can be together eternally.

It is also related to protection so it could be said Agatha giving Rio a broom with ivy on it was a form of protection.

Again, ivy is mildly poisonous if eaten, continuing this theme of underlying toxicity in both their personal attributes and their relationship.

Ok so that is it for now!! Honestly I'm just being delusional and clutching on straws but y'know !!!

Here are the sources I used: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Osiris-Egyptian-god

https://druidry.org/druid-way/teaching-and-practice/druid-tree-lore/english-ivy#:~:text=Ivy%20wherever%20it%20is%20grown,holly%20tree%20and%20the%20vine.

#agatha spoilers #agathario #agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal

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leader-of-the-misfit-states · 9 months ago

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MD/PA lore dump!

maryland and pennsylvania? that's some real shit right there.

i was looking through my old posts, and i realized i reblogged @lunearobservatory's post about PA and mary being a divorced couple and while i elaborated a little bit on what i thought their relationship was like, i never really went into full detail about how things went down. and to be fair to me, that would've been a really long post, which is why this hasn't happened until literally right now so.

today, we are going to go through the entire timeline of PA and mary. specifically how i interpret it. i am always open to what other people think, but this timeline is pretty solidified so changing my opinion on it is most likely impossible.

DISCLAIMER: ben has not confirmed any of this information. these are just silly headcanons that have turned into full-fledged fanon lore, so it's just for fun. knowing my luck, ben will probably contradict everything i say in this post. /silly

alright, official lore starts under the cut!

basic headcanons before we begin the deep dive:

PA and mary are transmasc and transfem, respectively. PA uses he/him and mary uses she/her.

PA is aroace and mary is biromantic demisexual.

PA and mary are divorced but on amicable terms.

PA is trying his best 24/7 but just doesn't get romance.

childhood besties

so, PA and mary have known each other ever since... whatever the state equivalent is for kids. they're t4t best friends. they got gender envy from each other, and as they grew older, they really started to get attached. especially since their states themselves were always in such close proximity. during difficult times in history or through the different golden ages, they were always there for each other.

PA, not knowing he was aroace, just felt this warm and comforting feeling around mary all the time. other people in his region had started to call him out on a potential crush. but PA had never really experienced what a "crush" felt like, so he trusted in their opinion and assumed that what he was feeling must have been romantic attraction. i mean, he didn't really have any other reference to go off of other than what people were telling him.

mary, on the other hand, had liked penn romantically ever since they had met. she didn't know what it was. maybe it was the way he could get so passionate about things once you got to know him. or the way he seemed to genuinely care for her. whatever it was, she was attracted to him in such a way that it felt magnetic. it just felt like that they were meant to be. mary knew what her feelings were from the beginning.

PA, on the other hand, did not.

dating, marriage & uh ohs

so, due to the increasing pressure and teasing from the NE, PA decided to ask mary out. he had spent a few days studying rom-coms and how the main protagonist always seems to get the girl or even ask her out in the first place. his efforts seemed to have paid off, as mary accepted his confession. it was a very basic one, straight out of a movie he had watched. it was a bouquet of flowers, chocolate and a sappy love note he probably plagarized for. but whatever, mary accepted it and now the hard part was done, right?

incorrect! turns out maintaining a relationship takes consistent romantic affection and attention. while PA was trying his best, he constantly felt as though he was unprepared for every date and interaction he and mary had. he couldn't binge watch romance movies every single night, especially when there was also football on some of those nights. so eventually when a few years passed and marriage started to become a question circulating among states as a rumor about the two of them, PA started to get increasingly nervous. maybe it was just the thought of commitment, he thought. but also he started to question if what he was feeling was even romance at all.

mary was getting concerned too. PA almost seemed avoidant or anxious at every date, and seemed to panic whenever it came to planning dates in the first place. she knew he wasn't particularly dreading interacting with her as a person, so she didn't know what else it could be. that's why she was surprised when PA had eventually proposed and they had actually gotten married. she got even more concerned when PA's behavior didn't seem to change. he was still the kind, passionate and caring person she had known. but the concept of romance just seemed to... be completely out of his roundhouse. it almost seemed like he was repulsed by it entirely. and mary couldn't help but realize that maybe marriage just isn't for the two of them.

divorce & bumpy roads

PA eventually approached mary with the idea of getting a divorce a year or two into their marriage. mary wasn't shocked whatsoever. she was honestly surprised it hadn't happened sooner. the last thing PA wanted to do was hurt mary, which is why he had put it off for so goddamn long, but in the process he ended up hurting himself more and more. he explains that what he had felt for mary was never romantic, but just a strong platonic affection. mary embraces his aroace identity with open arms, despite such a wedge being driven between the two of them as a result of PA struggling to come to terms with himself. she could never blame him for his identity. she's just happy that he finally figured himself out.

the two had promised to stay amicable and friends after the divorce, but that didn't mean they were exempted from having awkward and rough patches. meetings with them together sometimes made the atmosphere weird, even when the two of them had promised that everything had been resolved and that there were no hurt feelings on either side. it didn't stop the NE from asking PA if he was okay like all of the time. it felt weird having either of them together at a statehouse function in fear that things were going to be awkward. sometimes rumors also circulated, as they always do because states are gossipy bitches, and that only made it more tense. rumors about who started it, who wanted the divorce, who hurt who, etc.

it didn't stop them from being friends though, not in the slightest.

platonic soulmates

they've been through the wringer, but it doesn't stop them from being friends and still being close. it takes time, mainly for both of them to find themselves and where exactly they want to stand with the other person, but it eventually landed at "i couldn't live without mary/PA". turns out being friends for centuries will do that to you! mary and PA still hang out, and are still as close as they were when they met as kids, nothing about that has changed. it almost surprises people how close they still are to each other despite going through a divorce.

like i said, they still hang out all the time. they do rot days together, movie nights, wine & beer nights and more. they both care about football, especially when comes to their respective bird teams (baltimore ravens and philadelphia eagles). i think they both have jerseys, it's just that PA wears his more often than mary does. and PA is absolutely defensive of who mary chooses to date in the future in the "i need to look out for my bestie" kind of way. all in all, there is nobody that knows them the best than each other. and in a way, this is their happy ending, no marriage required.

and yeah, that's the entire timeline! i'll honestly be surprised if anyone reads through this entire thing but i'll appreciate it if you do. feel free to send me asks about these two or any questions that you might have about a certain thing on the timeline. i hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading!

#wttt #wttt maryland #ben brainard #marylander thoughts #welcome to the table #marylander content #mary hcs #wttt pennsylvania #wttt marypenn #welcome to the statehouse #wttsh #wttt headcanons #long post #lore dump

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cinnamonglaive · 10 months ago

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worm bingo: SKITTER!!!

Ok so! I'm going to preface this with the fact that I'm an entomologist. Bugs bugs bugs, all the time. I'm not specifically an insect/invert neurologist but one of my colleagues is so I like to think I know a thing or two.

My theory is that when Taylor triggered it impacted her nervous system and brain in a similar way that Rachel's did. Rachel's humanity was partially overwritten with dog-centric thinking, Taylor's humanity was partially overwritten with invertebrate-centric thinking. Insects are wired to follow a very singular path to complete their job/mission, and their responses are limited as far as reactions to stimuli. There are some character attributes Taylor has that are shrugged off or otherwise interpreted by canon that I think are actually symptoms of neural re-mapping.

Taylor's high pain tolerance is one example. Pain, in simple terms, is a damage report attached to emotion. Damage is sensed by neurons, which pass the info up to our brains where we relate it to fear, stress, sadness, etc.. Insects don't feel pain because they lack sufficient neurons to have emotions. They sense damage and that's all it is, information. Insects are simpler computers than humans. When Taylor gets damaged (or dishes it out), she often processes damage in the same way: as a calm informational report. This could just be WB's narrational style, or Taylor's pre-trigger disposition, but I think it's telling that other characters, capes who see active combat, are routinely skeeved out by Taylor's lack of response to damage. Grace and Scapegoat come to mind, chiefly, though there's a few "JFC" moments from Charlotte and Sierra as well.

The other main way I see her as de-humanized is her difficulty in relating with other humans, exemplified most obviously in her relationship with Brian. She's 15 and has reciprocated feelings from her crush! They kiss, cuddle, fade to black... and the next day she remarks that it was 'nice' and gets on with her work. When I was her age if I had a similar experience I would have been thinking about it every other thought! I even had a rule in high school that I could only look at my crush twice a day, so she wouldn't notice (common me L) and it was a rule I had to remind myself of regularly. In contrast, Taylor only rarely thinks of Brian, she rarely describes other characters as attractive with any kind of heat behind it, and she certainly doesn't prioritize him (or any of her friends, really), over her self-imposed Mission.

This could potentially be attributed to the fact that the amateur sex was bad, or WB didn't want to write very much sexual content in his story about minors, but it just came off as Taylor not being very interested in her boyfriend. And THAT opens up a dialogue about 'is Taylor Hebert gay' (thread locked by a moderator after 12239 pages of heated debate) but really I just think she has a bit of insect neural programming. Information is recorded, sex is had, but the depth of the emotional experience is reduced.

And finally I want to know why she left the back of her mask undone, letting her characteristic mane of black hair flow out behind her. Why in the hell would 'miss practical' not shore that up when she noted it as a weak spot several times. My other issue: the rag skirt she made (during the end of Monarch, I believe?) that I imagine was ugly as hell and bad for movement during battle. What are we doing.

#worm #worm web serial #mine #Taylor Hebert #ask

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archivalofsins · 2 years ago

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So, that was really something wasn’t it? I bet no one was expecting all of that. @doctorbunny had been looking into all of that since our conversation on June 4.

All this from a simple inquiry- It must be surprising for those that weren’t expecting it. So, for the Mahiru lovers out there, how was it? What did you think? Is it doing super great? Is it heating up inside those heads of yours? If it isn’t yet, then how about going for seconds-

Let’s talk about ARGs! ARG is short for Alternate Reality Game. There have been many across the internet from Everyman Hybrid to The Cipher Hunt in 2016. I’d assume the Cipher Hunt is more well known. It was an international scavenger hunt attached to the American animated series Gravity Falls. Gravity Falls is a good example of ARG media overall.

A lot of the series involved breaking codes put after the end credits, playing sound backwards to uncover hidden messages, and of course taking it frame by frame to possibly discern what was coming next. This all culminated in the 2016 Cipher Hunt as a sendoff to an amazingly fun series that not only entertained viewers but prompted them to think more about how they consume and interact with media. That’s the point of every good ARG to give the audience a chance to interact with the media in a way that usually isn’t possible which allows the audience to feel like a part of the story as well.

They’re also really fun when it comes to scratching that deductive reasoning itch for those that really like to go in depth with their media consumption. When some say it’s not that deep, ARGs are there to resoundingly say not only can it be that deep, but it is. So, we’ve got the where from This Is How To Be In Love With You now let’s talk about the why?

Milgram, for all intents and purposes, can be described as an ARG. Many, like myself, concluded that the ARG aspects only went as far as our votes but it’s becoming more and more apparent that this is not the case.

Yamanaka said this in regards to Mu’s case,

“Mu-chan had a lot of specific scenes. Her character is also pretty different between her MV and her voice drama. How you interpret her character changes depending on how far you pursue this character. Even in the real world, for example with news stories regarding murder, you’d have very different opinions depending on if you just read the headline, vs when you view the whole thing, vs when you do more research on the person.”

Generally, one’s opinion of someone/something changes based on how informed on a topic they are. That is what I believe was the gist of what Yamanaka was getting at. To use Yamanaka’s example with news stories, the headlines of news articles are usually inflammatory and a reduction of the overall point of the article. This is because they seek to grab a person’s attention and give them as much information as possible in a very short span of time or as few words as possible.

In Milgram’s case, the MV’s would be the headline and the voice dramas would be the article.

However, articles aren’t that trustworthy either, news publications lie all the time and cherry pick information to better frame the point they’re trying to get across. Continuing forward with Yamanaka’s example in situations in which a murder is being reported, depending on the news outlet one could get very different framings of the situation. Be it a different framing of the victim or assailant.

This is something Milgram fans should be used to because a vast majority of them do it. It’s not much different from what many people have been doing with the Milgram theories they type up or put on YouTube. Each person displays their own unique perspective framed by their own ego and biases. So, we have the headline, we have the article, but what about that last thing?

“When you do more research on the person.”

Well, we have multiple examples of Milgram fans doing exactly that. The most recent one being the post DoctorBunny put out. It’s exactly what it says on the tin do more research compare the voice drama and the mv look out for inconsistencies key locations. Those are the ARG aspects that have been overlooked. Either for being too time-consuming, too wordy, or just going further than one expected.

It’s every fan that’s gone hey have you seen this tiny detail in this scene, please don’t bring up the socks in After Pain, hey um why did Kotoko go change clothes before going to help that girl, who’s that guy you can vaguely see in Kazui’s mv during that sort of distorted part, hey doesn’t this image resemble- and so forth and so on. That’s the doing your own research part that hasn’t been neglected per se, but it has been overlooked.

Each music video has enough information that for what may be detective work for people outside of Japan may come off as common place things or child’s play to people who live in the areas the prisoners were in before. Many people that live around where Mahiru is from probably would’ve been able to tell most of the places in her mv from a glance. See that’s the thing about common knowledge, it changes depending on where you’re at.

A good example of this is,

In the previous post DoctorBunny mentioned how I brought up the store Mahiru was outside of was a 7-Eleven.

I saw something that came off as commonsense to me, but that same thing won't be common to someone else. Not because they're uninformed but simply because it does not color their world view. It's not something they see every day so why would they be familiar with it? This is one of the reasons it's so enjoyable to see other people's opinions on Milgram from all over the world. Because those personal experiences shape how one will interact with the media.

Hell, a few years back I probably wouldn't have been able to tell it was a 7-Eleven myself, but I moved to a place right across the street from one so the colors in the corner and the outdoor setup were familiar.

This is why it's important to collaborate with others and discuss things because it can lead to new and interesting discoveries. I didn't really think I contributed much to the search since I was just around speculating stuff for the most part, but it was fun to be involved!

Now this may sound like a disadvantage for fans living outside of Japan, but it comes with its advantages. Because when someone is around something all the time it’s easier to take that information for granted. Chances are no one would really ask about why Mahiru was in these areas. After all these are everyday places, nothing special. They wouldn’t really take into consideration that these places are sort of tourist spots. Because there are a lot of places in the world that have a tourist industry but that doesn’t mean locals can’t enjoy the things connected to that too.

It wouldn’t clock as suspicious because honestly, it’s all rather normal right? People go places all the time, it’s no big deal. However, attaching these habits to that of someone we’ve explicitly been told is a murderer creates a different story. So, what does where Mahiru has been tell us about her as a person and a murderer?

Let’s start with the question that led to all of this where does Mahiru go to college? It’s not 800 degrees Neapolitan Pizzeria, the place she claims to be her university’s terrace. Although there is a possibility that they could not get a picture of the school to use and chose another location. However, there are many pictures of the campus online that they could have chosen.

I still can't fully rule out that they'd need certain permission to use that sort of image and couldn't get it.

Q.16: How did you meet your lover?

Shidou: In our neighborhood. We were family friends so that was our relationship.

Mahiru: We met eyes at the university terrace. I really felt like it was fate.

Despite all that- Mahiru's school is more than likely Aoyama Gakuin University or based on or around it. As DoctorBunny stated previously there were two schools in the area of the pizzeria.

The second one was Kokugakuin University. This school has no religious ties but seems to have some ties to Shinto beliefs. For those curious about the second school considering, it's a likely candidate for Mikoto's college. Here's its ratings, website, and a comprehensive history of the institution.

For brevity, I'll be putting both schools' information right beneath this. Mahiru's school will be first and Mikoto's possible one second. This serves a point outside of bringing up Mikoto again I swear.

20/07/15

Amane: Eh, my studies? I enjoy it. To me, studying is something I do for fun. Do you not think the same, Mikoto-san?

Mikoto: Not at all! It’s just a means to an end…… I just did the bare minimum needed to get into a good company. I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enroll, and from there I studied curation and…… uhh, you don’t really know what that is huh. Hmm. Since your way of speaking is so mature, I keep forgetting I need to explain myself properly……

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Mikoto: No, not really…? I mean, I could do the bare minimum needed to pass the entrance exam though. Even though it’s called an arts uni, there’s still subjects where you don’t need to draw at all. I’m the sort of person who tries to be efficient, so I worked backwards from the job I wanted to get into and chose to study subjects like direction and management~ ……ah, I’ve done it again……

So, from this conversation we can gather a lot about where Mikoto went to college and it's shaping up to sound a lot like this place. So, good for him and his possible bachelor's degree. I say possible because he more than likely graduated at twenty-two and then got a job. So, if he started college immediately after graduating high school then that would be four years and he'd have a bachelor's degree.

However, like I said in those messages this ain't about him. Anyone with a keen eye would realize the difference in schools here. Mikoto's possible school has a 39% acceptance rate and that's a rough estimate because the school doesn't disclose its acceptance rate at all. Mahiru's on the other hand-

Whoa boy that's a smart girl a college with an 18.3% acceptance rate as of 2015 according to Google and it's not that much higher on the edurank website sitting at 19%. It's a Christian university private and in the top 50% in 13 subjects.

Notable subjects are

Physics Rank:

#42 of 274 In Japan

#222 of 1,879In Asia

#677 of 4,082 In the World

Engineering Rank:

#70 of 278 In Japan

#446 of 2,117 In Asia

#1156 of 4,624 In the World

It's a long list but most importantly-

Q.14 What was your major in university?

Shidou: Medical school.

Mahiru: Faculty of literature.

Q.04 Other than Japanese, what other languages can you speak?

Shidou: English and casual conversation level German.

Mahiru: I chose to learn Chinese in university but well... I don’t think I can go up to speaking.

"Die."

This is why Mahiru says she chose to learn Chinese because in her school English is mandatory.

I think this more than extensively proves that this is the school Mahiru was more than likely going to before being brought to Milgram. It's a rather good school overall. So, how much does a school like this cost?

Well, that's a pretty penny. A semester there in the spring time of 2019 would run a person 759,100 jpy or 5,241.06 USD. Either way this would be a difficult amount to pay on her florist job alone and she states this-

Q.15 How much do you earn?

Shidou: That’s not something you should ask other people.

Mahiru: I’m living on an allowance from my family……

So, it's safe to say the ones footing the bill for her schooling are her parents. Unlike Futa who complains about his classes saying,

"Storm Pazuzu　（＝Futa） A L L M Y C L A S S E S A R E S O D U L L.

W A S T E O F M Y S C H O O L F E E S.

Storm Pazuzu　（＝Futa） Everyone else there is an idiot so it’s boring"

Mahiru is never shown complaining about the cost of her tuition and with a semester price that high well she should be. This coupled with,

Q.05 Did you have a good relationship with your family?

Shidou: Yes. It really was a family as happy as you could dream of.

Mahiru: I think I was what they call a "sheltered girl". I'm thankful to my mom and dad, but perhaps they were a little strict.

Q.17 Tell us about your dating history.

Shidou: I don't remember much but, I had one girlfriend in kindergarten, and in elementary school I had two relationships. I started going out with my wife in the 2nd year of middle school, and we've been together ever since.

Mahiru: I attended a girl's middle school and a girl's high school, so I didn't date anyone until I started university.

From discovering Mahiru's school we've discovered several things. Her family is financially well-off, probably not as well-off as Mu's but maybe around the same area. Given the similarities in upbringing that Milgram has felt necessary to drag to the forefront in regard to these two characters this trial.

Her parents were overprotective, maybe a bit smothering. So, as a kid Mahiru more than likely didn't have much room to go out on her own and experience certain things such as dating.

We've learned that she chose to learn Chinese but more than likely does know English given this school's curriculum. Something that was heavily alluded to throughout "I Love You" not only through the song but the cd casing as well.

Look at her nice english/romaji handwriting of her name in comparison to the others. What nice penmanship!

"Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you." - "Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you."

Let's get subtracting, shall we?!

What do I mean by that well let me explain. Notice anything weird about the words inside the cd case?

Clothes food Shelter + Love and Miss you.

Certain words have been left in lowercase. Also, English is a very fun language where certain symbols have double meanings. The "+" symbol has been used to supplement for "and" just like "&". This is possibly yet another ARG element. To be precise, a code that Mahiru has put into her song. A fairly simple one at that. She tells us how to solve it within her song lyrics. Yep, that's why I highlighted those plus and minus signs. Basically, I believe we're meant to subtract the lowercase words from the uppercase ones to get the real message.

"Clothes Shelter + Love Miss. food and you."

This would basically be read as, "Clothes, shelter and love miss. Food and you."

When Star sent me the image of the cd case that was my first thought after hey why are some not capitalized. So, the next thing anyone would think is Gunsli that makes zero fucking sense what does that mean? Oh, but it does make sense. Let me run it down for you. However, for that we're going to have to go all the way back to This Is How To Be In Love With You.

Where we see Mahiru go through her hierarchy of needs just as she lists here.

"Clothes, shelter-

"Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together the things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you- Is love."

and love-

"If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say "I'm ok"."

Then with I Love You added into the mix,

"My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight."

miss."

And that's a miss folks! An own goal is a term used in soccer or football to describe when a team scores in their own goal.

"Own Goal noun- (in soccer) a goal scored inadvertently when the ball is struck into the goal by a player on the defensive team."

In contrast, who's the one that has always been associated with food-

"Food and You." - "Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right."

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall, and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That's not the sort of answer I'd expect from you. I've got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn't resent you as much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

Mahiru wants some meat on those bones~ Well, everyone has a type, and he was looking rather thin before she started feeding him.

Go on eat that up, it's good for you! That's all I could really gather from that though. However, it's a fun little tidbit if true.

Now the second point of interest I wanted to discuss from the information gathered was The Imperial Palace Run.

WHOA BOY THAT'S AN ATHLETIC GIRL!

One Lap is Five Kilometers (3.1 miles)

The distance of the route is just the right length for running. The path is also beautifully paved and there are no traffic lights at intersections, so you can run without breaking your pace. There are slight hills in about three sections of the course. These moderate ups and downs will create a satisfying change of pace during your run.

The Imperial Palace Runing Route is a five-kilometer route that loops back in on itself. In the video provided in DoctorBunny's post the area Mahiru is running in the opposite direction of is at the beginning of the run. Basically, runners start running in the direction of the sign she is running away from. As she is running away from it this means Mahiru has completed at least one five-kilometer run.

Given the lack of people Mahiru and her love probably went in the morning which is the recommended time for runners to go to not disturb others and be able to run as fast as they like. This explains why the sidewalk is mostly empty. However, runners are still encouraged to run in a straight line together and not side by side to be considerate of others. This explains why he is not next to her as she is running behind him.

I don't know about you but running for three miles over hilly terrain doesn't sound like being bad at exercise to me. Mahiru also says,

"I've never run so much in my life."

So, they very well may have done multiple laps around the area. However, it can at least be safely discerned that Mahiru has finished one lap around. So, she gets to beat the stupid and weak allegations today good for her or bad depending on your point of view. Because you know what this means, right?

"How could weak little Mahiru, someone who could only complete a five-kilometer run, ever move a body", is beginning to sound really weird. It's not surprising that Mahiru would say she's bad at exercise. Mahiru has consistently stated she's bad at everything, it doesn't mean it's true. She just lacks self-confidence and repeatedly diminishes her own abilities. Most recent example,

Q.15 Have you contributed to society?

Shidou: I had thought my work was a contribution to society.

Mahiru: I don’t think that there’s anything that I can say with confidence.

Discussing Mahiru and looking into all of this was a lot of fun! I was happy that I could be helpful! I really didn't know how much I helped until the post was put up. To me it just felt like hanging out but ya know in a good way considering certain revelations that may not have been the best phrasing ha, ha...

I was really impressed by all the creative methods DoctorBunny searched for information and I never thought such a small inquiry would lead to so much. I feel like we've learned so much about Mahiru and a little bit about Mikoto along the way~

I hope my insights on this can be enjoyed as well as I've kind of been holding off on saying anything for a good while now. I also hope I didn't rush DoctorBunny into posting too much. Also, I would recommend looking up walking around videos on YouTube of your you may be pleasantly surprised by what you find. The running route one kind of dropped me down the rabbit hole and I ended up looking up some for my city just to see what they were like.

They're calming.

#milgram #shiina mahiru #kayano mikoto

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bestworstcase · 1 year ago

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Quick question: When and how did you start realizing that fandom tends to be hostile or anti-analysis? Was it just something that happened overtime?

i mean. have you ever made a textually-supported point contradicted by popular fanon? people seethe

but it’s also just sort of baked into what fandom is. the whole concept of ‘headcanon’ is inherently antitextual—things held to be true irrespective of the text—and the whole point of fanworks is to engage transformatively with the text. fandom is explicitly not a community oriented around textual analysis, and while analytical readings can (and do) support and enrich transformative works, they are also just not what fandom is about.

so within fandom receptivity to textual analysis is generally lukewarm and varies widely depending on how closely it happens to align with the fanon, and in my experience fandom has a particular difficulty parsing character analysis outside the blorbo framework (ie liking / disliking / personally identifying with a character).

there is in particular a tendency for analytical readings to get parsed in fandom spaces as critical of the story or the characters being discussed; for example i’ve had explicitly positive character analysis of mine (as in, posts where i directly state my appreciation for or enjoyment of the thing i’m talking about) get reblogged and tagged ‘anti-whatever’ because the thing i’m talking about is, like, a character flaw. or something bad that a character did that caused conflict in the narrative.

and i think that really gets to the heart of the, like, cultural divide between transformative fandom and analytical engagement, because in fandom spaces if you say, for instance, “yang has a hot temper she works hard to keep in check” that is generally going to be understood as a value judgment (either a positive remark on her maturity and emotional discipline or a complaint about her expressions of anger) whereas in an analytical context it’s just an observation that needs to be evaluated in terms of whether the text supports it or not.

the consequence of that is that if i write analytically about the role of anger in yang’s character arc—which is a facet of her that i personally really enjoy and think is done quite well—and if that breaks containment and travels outside of my immediate circle of followers (who presumably follow me because they like reading my analysis and who obv know what i’m about) then odds are it’ll land in front of someone who goes “UGH not ANOTHER person picking on yang for bEiNg AnGrY, she’s got good reasons to be mad when she gets mad and also she doesn’t get mad NEARLY as often as these assholes think” (which is true) (yang almost never loses her temper and she’s very quick to check herself on those occasions; and when she chooses to let it out she’s always justified)—because anger is culturally perceived as bad and the social norm in most fan spaces is that you don’t write lengthy posts focused on a character’s flaws (or ‘flaws’) unless you just think they suck.

(<- this isn’t a hypothetical btw. like i’ve gotten blocked over my yangposting being interpreted in exactly this way grbfksj)

the funny part is that while my analysis intermittently makes people SPITTING MAD, the fanfic i write (which follows from my analysis!) doesn’t. i’m sure there’s plenty of people who don’t like my fanfic, but if i write a character in a way that contradicts the popular fanon what happens is folks will comment stuff like “this is such a cool unique take on this character” brfhkg. and that’s primarily why i think it’s a cultural thing, where textual analysis—with its strict grounding in textual evidence and dismissal of ideas that can’t be supported by the text—gets people’s hackles up bc it’s a) examining the text at an emotional remove and thus hard to parse in a social environment where the primary mode of engagement is driven by emotional attachment to specific characters, and b) often perceived as telling people their headcanons are wrong, which is rude.

(sometimes headcanons ARE wrong, in the sense of being textually refuted. that is the entire point of headcanon. i think the experience of fandom is much improved by keeping this in mind. analysis is never a threat to headcanon because headcanon is supposed to be transformative. equally, headcanon is irrelevant to analysis because analysis is strictly concerned with the text.)

more broadly i just find fandom culture to be interesting in and of itself. so in addition to participating in fandom directly i also lurk a lot and pay attention to cross-fandom phenomena (e.g. migratory sapphic and slash shippers) and read discussions about fandom and that sort of thing. and i think approaching fandom from that perspective, it’s sort of a what it says on the tin situation; fandom is transformative by definition, ‘fuck canon’ is an ubiquitous meme, fanon… exists at all as a concept and is widely celebrated as superior to canon, AUs are terrifically popular, “fix-it” fics are terrifically popular, etc etc.

so i don’t think my view here is even unusual necessarily except insofar as i articulate it in a very precise (and perhaps pedantic) way. like the average person in fandom is probably aware that playing in the sandbox is different from constructing a lego set and that people in the sandbox are, as a general rule, not all that keen to make sand castles in strict accordance with the lego instructions. because it’s sand. lmao

#for the record i recognize the hypocrisy of bringing legos into the sandbox and then complaining that there’s sand #however this is my house #and the important thing is i’m having fun

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affluent-havoc · 10 months ago

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K. Canon has it that the Togami family heir is supposed to choose at least 15 partners to have children with so that said children can compete to become the next heir. Byakuya’s father had 108, but that’s beside the point I’m making, which is that: Byakuya agreed to seal himself within the academy walls forever WITH FIFTEEN OTHERS. He chose his partners, whether he remembered it or not. Adding greater context to that alternate ending where everyone has children with each other.

Oh yeah! I think I recall hearing of this interpretation before! 'Tis an interesting lil thought experiment. It's not my personal interpretation of the events but it's an intriguing take! In this specific interpretation, I could see Byakuya treating this as just a task to complete. No actual connection is there. Just do the deed, make the baby! Get in, get out. Like clocking out of a boring job. No passion, no attachment. Nada. Or least, nothing planned or anything! Also, wasn't sure where to add this but I am semi sure that the 108 number came from those Togami novels which is just a foggy observation of mine. Also remember the specific number from Super Danganronpa Goodbye Despair in those free time events with Twogami. (prob shouldn't be asking this right after I woke up O-O) One other thing I shall say is that, once the killing game occurs and all, could be an interesting thing going on like, will Byakuya EVER remember that he, yes, chose to be sealed away with the other 15 but SPECIFICALLY with the thought of breeding purposes? Cus, memory loss can be messy and those little details might be lost. Also, there could be misremembering of some events or wording as well. And, if he DOES remember, will he have strong opinions about it? Would he just shake his head and sigh for his younger self being so naive that a plan like that could even work or be feasible? Stuff like that! Just sending this little question out there for the thought experiment though cus golly... I don't have any answers of my own. Also, since the bad ending of THH was mentioned, I must delve into this once more. Here it is for everyone's viewing pleasure!

Still goofy to me how Kodaka just said that Toko just exploded. Rip. She got way too close to a Minecraft Creeper or something. What a way to go! By the way, I am unsure where to add this and like, I don't PERSONALLY feel this way since I don't really feel this way for others but, Hiro. I feel he has some untapped appeal for the masses. Like, I feel that Bad Ending Hiro is at least SOMEONE'S type.

Now, for what I was actually gonna blabber a bit about. AHEM I've said it before and I'll say it again! Bad Ending Byakuya! WHYYY? And how?!? Seriously, how does he look so precious?! And dorky too?! Cus that is the happiest he ever looks and the only time he's in casual ass clothes officially without the addition of some promotional collabs Danganronpa has had. And it's not even like, canon. Cus, bad ending and the real canon is where Kyoko lives and they all beat up Junko in the face! But aaaa! It crushes me so much cus that ending was so dumb and just a WEE bit cursed and also that he just WENT for it! Outta everybody there, Byakuya just looked at Aoi and did it! Side note, since this is funny for me to say. Kyoko had to die for this. Like, Kyoko had to die for these 4 to bang, Toko to go big boom, and Byakuya to look this chill and this casual for once and his dang life. (side note to the side note. he's staring at me and i dunno what to do/hj) Moreover, one other thing. Like, poor Aoi and her genes just did NOT go through. Cus every single baby is a mini-me of the others!! Ahem. Sorry there. I got side tracked. This got so disjointed after. That's what I got! Hope this was an okay and adequate response and that the entertainment levels were serviceable :D

#danganronpa byakuya #byakuya togami #darn those togami's and their rich togami ways!!#the danganronpa bad ending talk was longer than i thought #also imagining byakuya walking over to someone in his class during when they were all sealed like “it is time. we must breed”#and who ever he said that to just does a double take like “are you trying to... flirt with me or something?”#can't say the heir isn't trying cus gosh is he trying so hard!#also “can't flirt byakuya” is a interpretation i find funny cus he's rich and wealthy and influential and pretty but he just can't flirt!

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bronze-and-silver-keys · 7 months ago

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This is Shadow Mac and Cheese anon once more. I've hit a bit of a snag when it comes to Sonia's execution. Basically everyone else was easy to plan out, but I've only got like two or three things about her and I'm struggling to mesh them together cohesively into something properly dramatic. Looking things up hasn't provided me with anything new either. I feel like relying on her being a princess would be the easiest way to go about it, but for the others I've been actively not focusing on their talents in favor of personal shortcomings. I could exploit her relationship with gundham, but I already did something similar in a different execution. Any suggestions?

Hmm that's quite the conundrum, Shadow Mac and Cheese Anon. Let me think.

Spoilers for SDR2

Looking through her wiki, there's not a whole lot in her past that you could exploit for a despairing execution.

She didn't have any friends when she was younger because of her status, so being a Hope’s Peak student was her first chance at that. Over the course of the killing game (which is the only interaction with the others she would remember in that scenario) she became most attached to Gundham and was trusted with the Devas' care after his death.

Something I point out in one of my ghost au posts that's in my drafts is that she has a reason to feel guilty/responsible for at least some part of the murders that happen from chapters 2-5:

When in the library with Hajime and Peko, she excitedly talks about her interest in serial killers, specifically Sparkling Justice. This then gives the idea to Peko of exploiting this serial killer's existence to get herself voted as the blackened and save Fuyuhiko (which ultimately fails). Even Peko just knowing about Sparkling Justice and using it in the murder plan, Sonia would feel partially responsible, even if she just wanted to share her interests with people that she wanted to be friends with.

Sonia told Hiyoko there was a mirror in the music venue that she could use to tie her kimono sash in, and this ultimately led to Hiyoko's death. A case of wrong place, wrong time that wouldn't have happened if Sonia didn't tell her about the mirror. Sonia could definitely feel like she led Hiyoko to her death.

She wouldn't exactly feel responsible for Nekomaru's death, but probably for Gundham's actions. They became even closer during chapter 4, and that friendship motivated him further to get everyone out of the funhouse, even at the cost of his own life. I think that if he wasn't as close with Sonia as he was in that chapter, he wouldn't have committed a murder. (That's my interpretation at least) She could feel like her efforts to get closer to him drove him to sacrifice Nekomaru and himself for all of them.

And finally with Nagito's death, she wasn't present the whole time, but she did know that the bombs Nagito planted were fake. This information ultimately led to Chiaki being outed as the traitor and being executed as the blackened. Maybe if she shared that the bombs were fake earlier, then Nagito and Chiaki’s deaths wouldn't have happened?

Overall, it seems her efforts to make friends with her classmates could make her feel like she was partly responsible for what happened. She just wanted to share her interests with Peko. She just wanted to help Hiyoko and provide her some comfort and independence. She just wanted to be friends with Gundham. She wanted to do her part in trying to find the bombs, but sat on information that might have stopped the deaths of two of her classmates.

Putting that into an execution is tricky.

You could go with a classic queenly execution. Beheading in front of a crowd. Burning at the stake (though that's more for a witch, maybe a traitor? She could view herself as a traitor because of everything) but Celeste already used that.

It does list in her wiki that her relationship with Gundham really strengthens after the remaining students ride the roller coaster. You could go with something that utilizes the roller coaster, the true beginning of her friendship with the person she felt closest to being the catalyst of her death. The roller coaster could get stuck in a loop, hanging her upside down and sending blood rushing to her head, which is agonizing. It does seem out of place for a princess, but it plays into her guilt.

There could be a mechanism on the roller coaster that she has to catch just in time to make it stop, but she keeps missing and missing, being forced through the track over and over, getting stuck upside down in that loop over and over again. There could be standins for everyone that died in the coaster car with her, and they fall out in the same order they died and crash to the ground every loop that happens. Byakuya and Teruteru are the first to go. By the time the second loop starts, she realizes what's happening, and tries to stop it. And fails. Mahiru and Peko fall. She tries again. Ibuki, Hiyoko, and Mikan fall. She tries again. Nekomaru and Gundham fall. She begins getting desperate and distressed with more and more blood rushing to her head, leaving her disoriented. She tries again. Nagito and Chiaki fall out. She tries one more time, about to pass out and struggling harder than before, but the car gets stuck upside down until she finally falls out and dies from the impact.

Whoa. Sonia analysis moment.

#danganronpa #danganronpa spoilers #ask tag #sdr2 #keys talks #others' writing #shadow mac and cheese post #🧀 anon #danganronpa goodbye despair

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