#I did loads of shiny hunting in this game

[johnmarstonswife]

Partners in Crime till’ the Day we Die #3

꣑ৎ ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ 𓃗 ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ ꣑ৎ

Chapter three: The Wonders of Horseflesh

fandom : red dead redemption online & 2 pairing : sean macguire x f!reader word count : ~3,500 rating : mature warnings : minor coarse language, brief mentions of murder, opening spoilers for red dead online, gunfight/gun violence summary : meeting up with Clay Davies, he tasks you with stealing back some horseflesh, rewarding you with a little more than money for your help.

a/n : tbh ive been kinda slow with making new chapters, but i finally pushed out another one 💪 more story in this chapter of course, but im actually excited for writing chapter 4 ‼️ after this chapter it’s all juice from here

tag list : @heloixe @m1stea

꣑ৎ ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ 𓃗 ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ ꣑ৎ

Never in your ‘career’ of sorts have you hunted for treasure. Honestly, it sounded like something straight out of a story book. And when that desperate bandit gave you that treasure map in a hurry, in hopes of making a peace offering for his life, you doubted if it actually exists in the first place. But, did you still go searching for treasure? Yes.

Though the sun was barely peaking through the horizon, you decided to at least check. After a couple minutes of good searching in dark— which wasn’t all that dark since nights in New Austin are fairly bright, you stumbled on an unassuming chest beside a crate and some sacks, which sat behind a large boulder. Opening it, to your surprise, there was quite an expensive load of stuff just sat out in the open desert. You collected a gold wedding ring, a platinum earring— just one, a random necklace holding a pearl, a whole bunch of revolver and repeater cartridges, wad of cash, and finally a shiny gold bar. Your face was absolutely bewildered by the vast amount of pure, well— treasure there was. Speedily looting the valuables and scooping them up in your hands to keep in your satchel for safe keeping’s.

Luck was definitely on your side, thanks to that bandit you decided not to kill yesterday. Nevertheless, you have other things to deal with. The burning heat of Cholla Springs’s late morning was a welcoming one, the soft, dusty breeze weaving through your locks as you gallop, reminding you of your freedom and fond memories of your childhood and time acting as the Scarlet Cavalier— you’re not sure if acting’s the right word, but it wasn’t of great importance right now.

Your bliss and reminiscence was quickly concluded when you’re reminded you’re riding out to your next mission advised by Horley; meeting up with Clay Davies for work. Just amazing. You had a strong disliking to that greasy, horse flesh and animal trader. Moreover, as someone used to riding some of the best horses of the west, the scrawny steed you were given free of charge from Horley wasn’t all that pleasant to be riding. He was slow, pretty malnourished and an old one. You didn’t have any feed for the poor horse, who you found was named ‘Scrawny Nag’— not too far off to what you were calling it this whole time. Perhaps the Scarlet Cavalier of New Austin will be back in business soon enough.

You dismount Scrawny Nag and hitch him at a small beam of the broken down construction of some stone building. Just two, cobble walls still half standing. As you walk around and see the scammer himself. And of course his twin brother, Clive— the mute who if he could speak, would be equally, if not more agitating than his counterpart. Both sat playing a game of cards— which Clay most definitely had an unfair advantage.

Clay lets out a strange noise of victory, “I win again!” He smirks indifferently, gesturing his arms up like he knew he would win either way; letting out a small chuckle and turning to you. “Ah… an old friend. Did Horley send ya’ pop?” He greets with pleasantries, though he already knew you thought he was insufferable. Still putting on that grand act, knowing how much you disliked him. ‘Pop’ this and ‘Pop’ that. It pissed you off to no end.

“Don’t act like me and you are friends.” You glare sharply, your eyes already fed up with his shit. Crossing your arms in front of you and lifting an eyebrow and waiting for him to just explain the mission already.

Clay chuckles, though it was basically a scoff. His dreadful grin, continuing to shine of amusement. “Alright, alright. Listen, I heard you wanted to earn some money.”

“Who doesn’t?” You adjust your stance, tilting your head slightly cocked to the side, awaiting his plan. Your speech carrying the bite you always had when talking to this guy— but also a hint of curiosity laced in.

He breathes softly of amusement, bobbing his head of agreement— even if you two didn’t particularly liked each other, he did agree on that statement. Getting up from his seat atop the wooden table he begins. “So, there’s a gang of ne’er-do-wells. They are a bunch of degenerates, not good people.” He explains, exaggerating ‘not good people’ and waving his hands around as he spoke. You just let out a small exhale out your nose— you could say the same for him. “They’re out at Rathskeller Fork, with a buncha’ horses they stole from me!— Well that’s a lie, but they stole ‘em off the feller I was steal ‘em off of.” Clay admits, voice declining in annoyance to sheepishness.

You just stare at him blankly with your arms still crossed, unamused as you listened to him rant off. Let’s be honest, Clay was probably in the wrong, but all you did was huff. “…And what’d you want me to do ‘bout it?” You answer dryly.

But, you knew what he wanted you to do. Helping Clay Davies was one of the last things you want to do, but you needed money. You weren’t really in the right place to deny jobs just because you dislike the job giver.

“Maybe… you could get ‘em for me? You think you could do that, po—“ He drags out, before walking a few steps closer with a fake tone of anticipation. He knew you couldn’t say no, especially if there’s cold cash involved.

“Don’t you dare say ‘pop’ again.” You snap before the three letter word could utter his lips. Rolling your eyes, letting out a long, deep sigh. Speaking after a pause. “Fine. You better pay up when the jobs done.” You relent sour, feeling a little defeated.

Clay lets out another half scoff, half chuckle as his sly smirk grows at the corners of his mouth at your response. “Well, good.” He hastily continues, quite proud of himself for convincing you to get it done. Like he was gladdened at your break. God, you hated this slimy scammer. “Meet me at the stable at Tumbleweed— once you have the horseflesh, and I’ll pay ya good.” He informed. “Oh— and uh, Horley wanted me to remind you any decent work you can find, take it. But just try to stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah. I’ll try— unlike you.” You reply, as if a razor blade replaced your tongue. An almost unfazed expression played on your features, setting your hands down and onto your hips, quickly glancing around before setting your eyes back on him.

Staying out of trouble was rich, since you weren’t all that good at that in the first place. Considering what placed you here was trouble you didn’t even cause. Just— stumbled upon, you guess. You’ll try, though, no promises. And with taking any good work you find, well, what else were you supposed to do? All though you did want to rest, money and getting back on your feet was all too important. Plus, you were kind of getting used to it. It was exhilarating and the action reminded you why you loved it previously. It as in crime. When opportunities come, you’ll take them. That’s just the girl you are and came to be. Maybe it’s a habit. Maybe it’s just want for money and stability. Maybe it’s adventure. And maybe it’s all of them. You didn’t really know.

Clive just brushes off the bite, huffing to himself. “Oh, and once you get me those horses…” Clay continues, whilst Clive finishes up packing their resting spot into the back of the wagon. “Well after that we’ll talk again.” He ends, helping himself up the seat of the horse wagon and taking the reins in his hands. “Oh, I do so enjoy these conversations!” He belts out so over exaggerated that even a deaf person could tell he was sarcastic. “Let’s go, Clive!” He ushers Clive, quickly handing him the reins. A loud ‘whip’ rang before the horsed wagon rode away.

Stealing horseflesh, huh? Guess the Scarlet Cavalier is really back from retirement after all.

꣑ৎ ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ 𓃗 ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ ꣑ৎ

You duck your body down whilst galloping away. Bullets just barely grazing as you ride for your life. Feeling your body rapidly fly up and down on the practically untamed horse, shooting aimlessly from your revolver— bullets so clearly missing, but enough to deter more of the angry mob of gang members from catching up and getting a good shot at you.

As you can tell, this job clearly went well. But thinking this would go smoothly after a damn long while of being out of the horseflesh stealing business— it went better than it could’ve went.

The plan— that you made up on the spot when you got there, was to inconspicuously go around the place and climb the stone wall to the horse sheds. Sneaking in and silently kill the guy guarding the place, roping as many horses you could and ride out as quickly as whatever horse you steal’s legs can go out of that place and pray you don’t get shot during the chaos. And you did execute the plan. But, you failed to realise how far they would chase you down the roads of Gaptooth Ridge.

Galloping and spurring the horse beneath you— which you didn’t get a good look at since you were rushing to just get out before you got shot. Your streak of luck apparently was still going, managing to shoot a guy off his horse from all the stray, aimless bullets you shot. More and more of them start getting lost in the chase, horses beginning to give out or just unable to keep up. Whatever breed this horse was you were riding, you knew it was expensive. How easily it could out run those gang members on horseback? You could see why Davies wanted these horses so badly.

Though the chase still wasn’t over. By this point you just focused on the path in front, hunching your shoulders and clutching the reins on this horse for your damn life. Sometimes whipping your head over your shoulders to see how close or how many remained. Spotting the two left, now further and further in the distance, their face contorted and teeth gritted, loosing their trail on you. Spewing muffled curses from the distance you couldn’t care to hear.

It was a damn miracle you weren’t shot during that horse-chase. Hell, you were surprised that you were able to control the horse you were riding PLUS the three lassoed behind you. It was a feat you completed numerous times before; but somehow was ten times more difficult considering your circumstances. Though, you made it. Slowing the horse below you into a softer gallop towards the destination Clay Davies told you to drop them off at; Tumbleweed stable.

You rode past the familiar, tiny town of Tumbleweed, taking a glance at the place for just a second before carrying on past to the stable on the further outskirts of town. Holding up into a canter then a trot, you see the two knobs waiting for you before the muted green stable doors.

“Well, well, well, the Scarlet Cavalier of New Austin never fails.” He drawled with a smug but pleased grin on his face. “Dead right! Ain’t that dandy?” Reminding you that he knew your identity. Which made you despise him more because that meant he had protection— or you guess blackmail, against you. Ever want to rat him out to the law because he pretty much scammed you, so you pretend to be an innocent civilian girl that got scammed? You would both be locked up and hung before you know it. Not worth this ratbag anyway. Guess that’s how he always saved his skin.

You sigh sharply, shifting your gaze around to make sure nobodies there to watch. Lo-and-behold it is just desert. “Just— where do I put them. And where’s my payment.” You ask, less of a question; more of a demand.

“Alright, alright— get that horse hidden away Clive…” He switches his tone completely, glaring at his brother and urging him to get on with it. “And ready to move out as soon as we can.” Clay goes and grabs the large door on the left and Clive hurriedly opens up the right. The stable doors creaking and dragging against the dry dirt below; some of it kicking up as it parts. “Here’s the money you earned.” Clay slaps the wad of cash onto your palm before going on again. “Now listen. Horley came by and gave me a message. He said go see your friend Cripps, up at your camp.” He delivers, reminding you once again. “Now listen to me for a second—“ He gestures his index finger in front your face, which you swat it away and shoot him a glare. He timidly moves his hands away and continues, “Any other decent horses you find, we and the Scarlet Cavalier can be up and running again. Just as soon as we set up, ‘kay?” He nods, starting to shut the stable doors again.

“You know what—“ Clay stops himself, rewinding his movements. “hold on, boy!” He also stops Clive. He adds, “I call him boy because I’m older. 30 minutes—“

“He went black. I know.” You nod your head knowingly, a small huff escaping your lips.

“Ha! This is why… let’s give our friend here back a horse.” He turns his head to Clive then back at you, a proud look on his face for finally doing something good, you assume. “It’s yours! A sign of faith, future and past business! If you wanna buy any extras or sundries for the animal, head inside! They’ve got a lot available.” He excites. It was pleasant, made you rethink if he was actually all that bad. If this cleared up the damages of the money you could’ve had. Maybe, maybe not. But it was nice of the scoundrel to do.

“…Thanks. That’s nice of you.” A faint smile twists at your lips, nodding of appreciation to him as you begin to walk into the dirt and hay filled stable.

“See ya soon.” He goodbyes with a riff, Clive walking up to him with a dumbfounded expression and his hands up in the air saying as if, ‘why the hell did he do that’. “Come on, Clive.” Clay ignores, ushering him with that same warning in his voice. The two walking out and away.

You turn to the four horses that are now lined up in their pens. Taking a closer inspection at the mounts, to your assumption, they were rare and expensive breeds alright. But the one you were originally riding caught your eye. The large, shimmering raven coat and white stamp on its head; that’s a black Turkoman, alright.

The mare neighed and stomped her feet— presumably from how hard you rode during that chase that had happened. You try your best to calm the beauty down, shushing her softly and slowly creeping towards her, crooning pleas for her to settle down. “Shhh… it’s alright girl… just— let me lead you out, okay?” You hush, the agitated mare calming as you take its lead. You always had a way with horses, you guess that’s why it made the job of stealing them so easy.

The horse follows you passively out the pen, as you hitch it to a post and make your way over to the large selection of saddles propped up on the stable’s wall. You didn’t have all that much money, selecting the cheapest black saddle available— so it would at least match the coat of the beautiful creature. Hooking it off the wall with a grunt, and setting it on the horse you still haven’t named yet. Attaching the straps of the saddle of the Turkoman’s abdomen, you hoist yourself up onto its tall stature. Patting her on the base of her neck as you rack your mind for any fitting name for a moment or three.

“Belladonna. That’s what your name will be. Belladonna.” You repeat to yourself, or the horse, you weren’t sure. You chose the name because it was your grandmother’s favourite plant. You weren’t able to see it at all in the great desert. But she would retell how the wondrous plant looked, describing it like a tale. Purple, delicate, bell shaped flowers, accompanied by almost berry like black orbs; which were terribly toxic. It sounded magical when you heard it as a young girl. And this magical plant was a fitting name for her. Belladonna.

꣑ৎ ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ 𓃓 ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ ꣑ৎ

Sighing, you dismount Belladonna. Your worn boots tapping the sand-like, arid dirt below towards Cripps. Who sits by a small campfire playing what sounded and looked like to be a jaw harp. He chuckled to himself before removing the small, metal instrument from his mouth and looking up at you. “How’d you get on with Clay Davies?”

“How’d you expect.” You respond with a scoff. You didn’t even want to peep another word about that man anyway, though he did give you a well horse for free. Doesn’t stop him from being agitating though.

He tittered of amusement, pulling himself up from his seat at the fire. “Horrible little wretch in my opinion— and yer’s too apparently. Pop this and pop that.” He stood beside you going off about the ratbag the same you would. “I’d like to pop him, the slime bucket.” He nudged you with a smirk.

“Hah, now that I can agree on.” You laugh, nodding your head of every curse and insult directed to the horse fencer. You two were going to get along alright, just by this interaction.

“Anyway…” Cripps turns to face the rest of the campsite, his hands gesturing around at his work, pleased with himself. “I’ve got everything set up. Well— uh, what we have so far.” You both admire the work, leisurely walking through the camp and inspecting your new home. “I, uh, think I did a good job for you. I’ll earn my keep.” The old man narrates. “When you get too old to fight, what choice have yer got? It’s either work or beg— and I’d rather work.” He added, ranting off, you both trotting on the dirt beneath your feet. “Oh, I saw Horley. He wants you to come down and meet him in Blackwater when you get the chance.” Each time, gesturing his cigarette pack in his hands to every statement.

“I think he might have some work for ya. Oh, and, er, while you’re out on yer travels, you may see some folk with employment opportunities. Good folk, bad folk— looking for a tough guy with a gun to help ‘em. Up to you if ya listen to them, I guess.” Horley briefed.

You never took all that many jobs; though, you would’ve if you had the opportunity to. You really couldn’t though, since before this mess you worked by and for yourself. It was all you knew, and you relied on yourself to get you the money. So, finally receiving consistent work was exciting, and making new connections wasn’t particularly a bad thing either.

“You know, I… I used to like that kind of stuff.” He started, stopping in his tracks and turning to you as he spoke. “One time, I almost helped a clown steal an elephant!” He reminisced with a snicker, “—but that’s a very silly story.” He quieted to himself.

“I bet.” You nod along, though you didn’t really get where he was going with that.

“Uh, welcome home!” He gestured once more to the whole camp with welcoming zeal. “Make yourself at home— it is your home.” He corrected, looking around for himself for another time.

You smile gently before taking another good look at the camp and breathing the air in, that as he said, will be your home. It was small, but it made do for the time being. “Glad to be home, then, Cripps.” Nodding before walking off to poke around camp yourself. Cripps heads and sits back down to his original spot at the fire.

You tread over to a chest on the ground, peering at it before realising it’s a telegram box.

Opening it up, you see various letters and papers that has already come in for you. You’re pretty popular, it looks like. You pull out a letter that catches your eye, a clean, fancily, red stamped letter. Contrast to the rest of plain, fairly dirty letters. You pick the letter into your dark, gloved hands, inspecting it closely before shutting the lid of the chest with your boot; still never diverting your gaze from the paper. Tearing the letter out, you read the simple, but well hand written note.

It is time we talk.

I will see you— and only you— under the pagoda by the Théâtre Râleur, Hestia Street, Saint Denis.

This is an opportunity you will not want to pass.

M.

Is all it wrote. Ominous, but hell, it was intriguing. You fold the note and tuck it in your satchel for another time, once you’re not as busy. Perhaps after meeting Horley in Blackwater, depending how that goes, you guess.

꣑ৎ ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ 𓃗 ⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓⌓ ꣑ৎ

thanks for reading again !!! thankful for everyone who actually reads this mess of a story im making 😭 again, sorry for the slower chapter posts, ive been demotivated AS right now, but more will for sure be coming <33

[blueisquitetired]

Ages ago back when Legends Arceus first came out, I toyed with the idea of completing a shiny dex. (Replacing every dex picture with its shiny counterpart) I got halfway through before massive mass outbreak hunting kinda killed my motivation. But! With Eevee week in Violet finally letting me complete the entire shiny eevee family, I regained some of that former vigor and have decided to give it another go!

I won’t spam you with updates since this is first and foremost an art/writing blog, but since I mostly do submas stuff I thought some of you might be mildly interested lol.

My two rules for myself are-

1: Transferring from other games is both allowed and encouraged. Shiny hunting distortion spawns is an exercise in misery and I will not participate in its madness. Those bad boys are getting Mesuda methoded

2: I’m not doing legendaries or mythicals. While I DO have the resources to do most of them, I find legendary hunts boring and uninteresting. (It’s mostly loading screens) And they’re long!! I could maybe do it if I only had to do one… but 10ish is far far too many (especially since I’d have to replay through bdsp TWICE to even START some hunts) Hunting all the legendaries would take up most of the time if I let it

Anyway, I’ll only post about my progress every so often (less then once a week lol) but if you want to block them completely I’ll be using the tag #blue’s shiny hunting adventures

All that being said- I’m currently at about 123/224!

(Extra info under readmore for those curious)

Here’s my current list! There’s probably some errors in there (as well as spelling mistakes but everything is highlighted in red so I’ll never know what’s ACTUALLY spelled wrong) but this is fine for now lol

Shinies I’ve transferred from other games so far include:

- a shiny patcharisu that I caught in bdsp via radar

- a shiny magikarp and garados I caught in a new years event in sword AGES ago

- a shiny sneasel (+weavile dex entry) that I hunted in violet named Lady Baby

- a shiny bergmite who I hunted in Violet named Akari (who I did NOT evolve so I’ll need a new one anyway)

- a shiny umbreon and espeon who I painstakingly hatched with perfect IVS in Violet

- a shiny vaporeon who I spent AGES hunting in Violet

- a shiny flareon and glaceon who I accidentally ran into ten seconds apart from each other when I wandered into their mass outbreak in Violet

- a shiny jolteon and leafeon who I casually hunted for and found later that day in Violet

- a shiny abamasnow, rufflet (+braviary dex entry), snorunt (+frostless dex entry), toxicroak, and golduck I found randomly while playing Violet

Since starting this challenge yesterday I have found a shiny starly, chatot, remoraid (+octillery dex entry), and tangela!

I also currently am at 32 perfect dex entries and will hopefully have more by the end of this lol

And, of course, here’s my current shinies physically in Legends Arceus!

[lorahgames]

The Depreciation of Shiny Pokemon in the Switch Era

(forgive me I am at work so cannot format this properly)

So if you know me, you know I am an avid shiny hunter in the post-game of Pokemon Violet. Almost every time I log on I’m slapping herba mystica onto a sandwich and running around like a lunatic for thirty minutes loading in pokemon to try to snag the shiny versions.

But recently, I’ve been hyper aware of exactly how easy it is to get shinies in this game. Like, it’s almost stupid easy at this point.

A sandwich paired with a mass outbreak (and shiny charm) gives you a 1/512 chance of encountering a shiny for 30 MINUTES. I noticed that when I enter the outbreak area, I can get probably 10-14 outbreak pokemon to spawn in. This means if I reset the spawns (run away to respawn and come back) and it takes me approximately one minute to check and respawn them at the 10 pokemon spawn level, I’ll encounter 300 or so pokemon within the sandwich period. That’s almost a 3/5 chance you will get at least one shiny within the 30 minutes!

When you go online to battle other trainers or participate in Tera Raids, you’ll see an outstanding number of shiny pokemon that people are using. It is commonplace to see an entire shiny team during the online battles. It’s at the point where I don’t even notice the shiny’s presence; just a quick “nice” and that’s all I think. I’m not impressed like I used to be.

Now, I never played Sword and Shield, and from what I heard, it had pretty janky shiny hunting mechanics that made it easier to get one. I could be wrong, but it makes me think that this is a Switch Era issue, not just gen 9. I have played Legends Arceus, and it is noticeably easier to get shinies as well, but not nearly as easy as the sandwich method from SV.

Any pokemon in the mainline switch games are practically losing their shiny value. For instance, when I was playing BDSP, I got a shiny Magnemite full odds, which I personally found impressive, but due to Magnemite being on the roster of Pokemon Violet, I just haven’t felt the need to transfer it over. It’s not like people will know it’s origin game unless they look at it off my screen in the summary section. Whereas my shiny Shaymin, I transferred it over with no problem. Shaymin is not in SV, and seems to have been limited to events in Switch era. Thankfully for me, Shaymin was shiny locked in Legends Arceus, and to even get it you need a copy of Let’s Go. I spent twelve hours shiny hunting this thing, so I’m so glad I can show it off.

So what do we do now that shinies are losing their value with every new Pokemon game that releases?

My top guess is marked shiny pokemon.

Recently I’ve been attempting to get more shiny pokemon with unique marks. Like shinies, a player can visibly see when your pokemon is marked, as it is announced in line with the pokémon’s name when sent into battle. This helps your pokemon stand out like being shiny does. Not to mention, it can be hard to get some of the marks as they are rarer spawns, especially on a shiny.

I have to say though, shiny hunting in SV is fun. Making sandwiches with friends, and selecting a cute pick to put it all in place is a slay for Gen9. I don’t feel as mentally exhausted as I did all those encounter resets with good ol’ Shaymin (I wanted to give up). I absolutely love running around with the Academy Special to see if anything comes my way.

And that’s enough of my rambling. I need to get back to work. Would love to know what you guys think!

LORAH

[vertechbd]

The Laptop Quest: A Fun Adventure for Everyone

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mia. Her laptop was ancient—it groaned like a sleepy dinosaur and took forever to load anything. “I need something that won’t make me wanna scream,” she told me (her sibling, aka the “tech person”). And so, our wild laptop hunt began!

The “Homework Hero” Laptop

Mia’s first worry: “What’s the best laptop for students?”

I said: “Students need laptops that are light (like a cloud!), last through back-to-back classes, and survive oops-I-spilled-my-soda moments.” We checked out the MacBook Air (pricey but lives longer than a cactus) and the HP Pavilion Aero (cheaper, cute, and zips through tasks). Mia whispered: “The HP won’t make my backpack feel like a brick.”

The “Future-Proof” Laptop

Mia saw ads for “top-rated laptops 2025” and panicked. “Should I wait?!”

I giggled. “2024’s laptops are already magic! The Dell XPS 13 has a screen so clear, it’s like staring at a rainbow. The Lenovo Yoga 9i can fold into a tablet—like a high-tech origami! You don’t need a time machine, Mia.” She relaxed. “Okay, no waiting. Let’s go!”

The “Wallet-Friendly” Laptop

Mia’s budget screamed: “Don’t ruin me!” So we hunted for budget-friendly laptops.

The Acer Swift 3 was the winner—under $700, handles Zoom calls like a pro, and weighs less than a chihuahua. “But what about gaming?” Mia asked. Ohhh, that’s a whole new world…

The “Gaming Beast” Battle

Mia’s boyfriend wanted a gaming laptop comparison. “Which one goes vroom vroom?!”

We tested the ASUS ROG Zephyrus (slim, glows like a spaceship) vs. the Lenovo Legion 5 (thick but runs games smoother than ice). The Zephyrus is like a race car; the Legion is a monster truck. Both play Fortnite without lagging, but the Legion costs less. Mia grinned: “No more rage-quitting!”

The “Fancy-Pants” Ultrabook

Mia’s friend Lily wanted an Ultrabook review. “Something shiny and strong!”

Ultrabooks are the celebrities of laptops—thin, gorgeous, and powerful. The Microsoft Surface Laptop 5 feels like typing on marshmallows. The MacBook Pro 14-inch is for people who edit videos while drinking matcha lattes. Mia gasped: “Lily will sell her skateboard for that MacBook!”

The “No-BS” Buying Guide

Mia was overwhelmed. “Just tell me how to choose!”

I made a laptop buying guide even a 5-year-old could get:

What’s it for? Gaming? Get a beefy GPU. For essays? Save money.

Battery life: 8 hours = decent. 12+ = mythical creature.

Weight: If it’s heavier than your pet hamster, skip it.

Keyboard test: Tap it. If it feels like typing on rocks, run.

The “Speed Test” Drama

Mia asked about laptop performance tests. “How do I know it’s fast?!”

We did this:

Open 50 TikTok tabs. If it doesn’t freeze, it’s a champ.

Play a 4K cat video. If it’s smooth, the processor’s happy.

Copy a huge file. If it’s done before you yawn, the SSD rocks.

The HP Spectre x360 aced everything. Mia did a happy dance.

The End Mia bought the Acer Swift 3 (student life = ramen budget). Her boyfriend got the Lenovo Legion. Lily’s mowing lawns for that MacBook. And me? I napped for 10 hours.

Moral of the story: Laptops are like pizza toppings—pick what you love, not what others say. And maybe bribe your tech-savvy sibling with snacks next time.

[01turnkill]

2024 Media Post Time - Master

3. Pokemon Violet (Replayed)

Last year my Nintendo Switch tragically broke while I was playing Splatoon 3... No idea what was wrong with it. I even learned how to take it apart and put it back together but it was really really lost and the bad thing about that is I lost all of my Pokemon save data that is stored on the console. Pokemon games are some of the only games that do not back up save data to the cloud so... it was lost. I am lucky Splatoon 3 backs up data because Splatoon 2 doesn't.

Since I know Violet will have about a year more raids and events before there's nothing more, I really wanted to play it and make a team again. I missed out on the Walking Wake and Iron Leaves raids. I also thought this would be the perfect time to get the DLC though I haven't played through it yet. When I do I'll make another media post about it.

I finished Violet on release and did a lot of shiny hunting and grinded raids for a couple months before going to do other things. Finished the dex and everything... so it was pretty troublesome to do it all again. Originally it took me about 120 hours before it was freeplay mode. What was lost.. 2 shiny Vaporeon, 2 shiny Veluza, 2 shiny Ceruledge, 2 shiny Iron Valiant, 1 shiny Slowbro, 1 shiny Magneton, 1 shiny Magnezone...and more I must have forgotten about. I even had 3 shiny Veluza at one point but decided to surprise trade one away. I love having multiple of my favourite things.

This time I wanted to play quickly while also finishing the dex, and managed to do it in 45 hours with the help of a couple friends and a lot of surprise trading. I skipped most of the dialogue and didn't explore like I did originally.

I really like this game! I have a few criticisms but I am going to be somewhat of a defender of it. Don't get me wrong it has the worst performance, the kind I expect from me playing anything on my laptop, and it was made for the console so there isn't an excuse. On the Switch Lite which I borrowed to play, the NPCs in all the towns don't even load in before their dialogue. I once waited 30 seconds for the Poke Center nurse to load in just so I could heal.

Regardless it's very fun. Lots of optimisations and quality of life changes that we saw in Legends Arceus. While it removes specialty NPCs I don't miss it....

Somewhat on that track, this game lacks a reason to go back to the towns and cities apart from sandwich ingredients. I wish there were special events or battles to participate in or something like that, more like the battle cafe or even a daily puzzle or a proper game... Lots could be done.

The story is something I really love in this game. Just like in Legends Arceus the character focus was really strong and it makes it feel a lot like PMD in those ways.. It's also a little harrowing just the implications of everything and very existential the way all time travelling stories tend to be. I've got a big sci fi bias so of course I liked that a lot. Pokemon does do sci fi but this was in a different way. The false professor and the genuine professor. I love mixed consciousness and robots like that. To make it better I'd want more quests to do with area zero investigating throughout Paldea outside of the occult books (which are cool though).

Anyway basically I hate the warriors of mid, Pokemon SV are good.

[shaken-up-sofa]

My Pokémon creepy pasta attempt

Tbh I was bored and listening to people reading Poképastas so this idea was born. So please, Enjoy my dumb story, N Merry Christmas

Oh and this was Lowkey inspired by the fact my little brother and I used to play Let's go Eevee all of the time so- 🤷🏽

Player 2 Disconnected.

I couldn't tell you why it happened, I couldn't tell you how, but what I can tell you is that whatever happened to this game is seriously fucked.

It had been 4 years since I touched this game. My sister and I used to play all of the time

However after our switch started to have serious joy stick troubles, it never stopped turning left

(And she got annoyed with my shiny hunting)

We slowly grew to stop playing it.

But due to the Holidays, thanks ol Saint Nick, I had received new controllers for my switch, meaning No more left turning.

Digging through my junk drawer, I had found the forgotten 5 year old game system I had once cherished.

And what do you know? My Let's Go Eevee game had still been inside the system

Of course, I had to charge the Switch, and set up the new controllers, but once I had everything ready to go,

I remembered that My sister had moved out some time ago. Sighing, I realized I would have to play alone- Or at least as both players

When my sister and I would play

And we got into a battle, on My turn, I would attack, She would use her turn use her Haunter to heal my eevee

When her Haunter was at low health, we would disconnect and Reconnect Player 2. I don't know if if was a glitch in our game, however whenever we did this, her Haunter would have somewhat Higher life points when coming back.

Soon booting up the game and loading into my old save file, I'd notice that Player 2 had already been connected-

I hadn't connected player 2, or gotten the Notification that player 2 Had been connected

Brushing it off as a mistake from my end, I'd Disconnect player 2 for now, I didn't have a use for her yet.

I had gotten pretty far in the game, but not entirely completely. It wouldn't take me long to enter a Battle,

However again, Player 2 connected without me connecting her-

I think her canon name is like- Elaine or something-

Except Elaine, she

She looked Fearful. Like she had seen horrors beyond life itself.

She had slight scratching on her legs, that her Shorts weren't long enough to cover.

She did not smile, or look tough. She didn't look sly or smug. She looked Terrified..

Not wanting to be distracted by her, and knowing I wouldn't need her for this battle, I would disconnect her once again.

After the battle, Player 2 would Reconnect itself

I had no clue How, No Clue Why! But noticing her

Her colors had seemed.. Duller..

Her scratches would only look worse

Her expression not easing up, but getting worse

And this would Happen Over and Over

She would Connect, she would look Worse and Worse

Her cuts deeper, her hair a mess, her eyes

Oh her eyes are burned into the back of my head

The whites of her eyes turned a very dark and deep red, her irises a brighter red

The mysterious black.. liquid?.. dripping from her eyes

It came to the point that when she joined the battles,Elaine would sit in the place of where Her Pokémon should be.. just curled up.. And instead of any Moves, the text would pop up

"Haunter can't heal your Eevee. I Can't Heal Eevee"

Something was happening when I would disconnect player 2

Something she saw was scaring here- Hurting her!

But this is a video game, I thought to myself. She can't Feel, nothing Happens when she's disconnected..

But If that were the case

Elaine wouldn't look so.. Deathly

Deciding I had had enough, I would save my Game

Or at least.. I would Try to--

However the Option to do so was gone

The game wouldn't allow me to Disconnect Player 2, to Disconnect Elaine..

The text popping up

"no, Please--! Not Again-again.. Not Again!"

Every time I even attempted to disconnect the second controller

Standing with my player's back to her, she would hunch over, seemingly crying..

I just couldn't take this anymore, Whatever happened to my game, Whatever was Hurting Elaine, I couldn't watch anymore.

I pressed the home button.

"Don't make me go back, Cain.. Don't Make me!"

Would be the next text to pop up

Being freaked out, I quickly turned off the switch..

That hadn't been the name I told the game, I had given the game a nickname, not my Real name-

I haven't picked up the game since. I put the game back in it's case, and listed it on some reselling site...

Elaine would have to be someone else's problem.. I can't save her, even if I tried.

The end

Well.. maybe it wasn't that great, but I'm writing this on Christmas Eve, so maybe it sucks

But Look! The art I drew for this attempted Creepypasta!

My boyfriend is kinda getting me hooked on Poképastas so

Maybe I'll post more of Ems

[runawaymun]

I'm sorry today was so hard on you 😞 Since you requested distraction and elves, can you share your very softest Elrond headcanons?

Thank you 💕 very softest (imo) Elrond headcannons:

He can feel heartbeats through hard surfaces. So he can always tell how anxious or scared someone is even if they’re masking it well.

He loves cats and they’re welcome in Rivendell. They have loads and Elrond can communicate with them in a very basic capacity, and they’re given run of the house under the condition that they do not eat any wildlife. They have plenty of tasty food put out for them instead.

The Rivendell hunting hounds are descended from Huan. He got a puppy from M&M as a gift when he was a kid. All of the Peredhil kids have a dog. (Arwen is especially close with hers!)

His go-to nightmare remedy is hot chocolate.

Literally will smother you to death with cuddles.

Can and does use ósanwë to alleviate others’ anxiety. He’s able to radiate feelings of calm and safety but does it in such a way that it’s a Vibe, rather than something impressed on you.

Can and does use Vilya to biologically help quell panic and anxiety by gently regulating heartbeat and breathing speed.

Obsessed with collecting things from people he loves. His desk is his version of the family fridge. He has drawings his kids did when they were little pinned up there. Flowers from Celebrían’s gardens pressed in books. A particularly shiny rock a toddler asked him to take good care of like 1235 years ago. A lumpy lime that no one wanted (he felt bad for it). Some trinkets the murder of crows roosting in the oak tree outside generously left for him. The desk drives Erestor nuts cause it’s so overcrowded but everything on it is Special(tm).

Can semi-alter reality with his voice. Uses it in the softest possible way by making the world’s coolest bedtime stories for kids. Is he singing the lay of lúthien? Congrats there are flowers in your bedsheets now and you can hear Thingol’s court and see a tiny Lúthien dancing on your bedside table.

He delivered all of his children himself, because he didn’t trust anyone else to help Cel with this and regularly makes jokes about “I brought you into this world I can take you out of it” in the most affectionate and dorky way possible.

When the kids were little they would all fight about who the favorite kid was. Elrond devised a game of dibs. Whichever kid is the closest to him is the current favorite. This had evolved into a very high-stakes ordeal. The second they get into this argument and then demand an answer he’ll just say “nearest to me” and BRACE HIMSELF as Arwen starts climbing him like a tree, Elladan koala-hugs his arm, and Elrohir yeets himself across the room for a football tackle. Nearest becomes “fastest”. Oftentimes it’s a close tie and they have to defer to Celebrían or Erestor or Glorfindel to accurately judge who grabbed Ada first.

Elrond and Celebrían are roughly the same size (provided he’s not having an especially Maia-ish day) so they share clothes.

He has the worst possible case of Dad Humor and it’s very embarrassing for his kids.

Speaks to babies as if they’re intellectual old men and toddlers like they’re drunk people he’s trying to coax indoors with Taco Bell and pspspspsps

Collects stray and disabled/chronically ill animals and sometimes they end up sleeping in his bed. It’s not uncommon for a whole gaggle of orphaned chicks to imprint on him and follow him around Rivendell all spring. He saved a rabbit from becoming soup once and just carried it around in his arms and let it sleep on his desk. There was a whole ass fox in his study once. Erestor had an aneurysm about it because it kind of made a mess of his papers but Elrond had rescued it out of a hunting trap and brought it home and it was family now and that was not up for debate. He’s the kind of person that grabs a raccoon out of the garbage can and says “this is my best friend please excuse him we’re working on his manners”

[who-the-fuck-is-sennalye]

look I like pokemon scarlet. I think it's fun. It's just the little things that frustrate me to no end.

Like the boxes. How did they mess those up so bad? They were perfectly fine in Sword and Shield, it was a done job. And yet somehow they've managed to fuck it up so badly that if a Pokemon's icon hasn't loaded, it'll just show up as nothing, or worse, the wrong Pokemon entirely. And this happens everywhere. In the bag, in the pokedex, hell, even in the damn TM maker.

What's worse is the Tera Raid battles. I could go on and on about how unfair I think tera raid battles are but instead I'll just focus on the glitches. Plural. Like the non-functional health bar. How fucking hard is it to make a fucking health bar that isn't WRONG. ALL THE TIME.

Tera raid battles are bad enough without having no idea how much health your opponent had left. And that's not even mentioning the camera glitches, online raids being a mess, the Pokeball that just likes hanging around on the floor sometimes. Once I had a tera raid battle end and then never put me back in the overworld, that was a fun softlock. Another time my pokemon came back to life, only for every ally Pokemon to faint at the same time for no reason. Once I battled a Corviknight seven times only to realise the loot doesn't reroll if you reset the game. That's not the game's fault but it was such a frustrating experience I'm mentioning it here anyway.

Shall we mention Pokemon spawning inside walls? There is nothing stopping Pokemon from spawning inside walls. One time I found myself inside a wall in Area Zero, and I was running into pokemon just wandering around in there. Speaking of Area Zero, there's a cave in there where you can see Pawmi floating on the ceiling.

Hey, speaking of clipping, let's talk about the sandwich minigame, shall we? No, I don't have a vendetta against the sandwich mechanic (as much as I'd like to, it's too good for shiny hunting). What's with the tablecloth clipping through the ingredients bowls? What's with the ingredients clipping through the bread? What's with the black feathery looking things that appear during the eating animation sometimes?

Also, not a glitch, just a tangent; but who the fuck puts sausages on bread crossways. That's not normal human behaviour. Get that checked out. Seek help. If you're a human being and you put sausages on your bread crossways, please stop there are better ways to live.

Anyway I think those are the major things I wanted to cover. I mean besides that I've just got Pokemon vanishing when you talk to them because they're too close to the camera, the overworld unloading for a frame, the camera desyncing with the player if you move to fast, eggs hatching behind you if you turn quickly enough, pokedex text not disappearing, rain in perfect weather... And there's this really small minor glitch I'm having trouble remembering... something like a memory leak in a AAA game.

God it'd be funny if it weren't embarassing.

All in all, I don't hate Pokemon Scarlet and Violet. I think fundamentally it's a fun game, in fact I've played it for over 90 hours so far. It's just the glitches the game has holds it back from being some of the best Pokemon games since Black and White.

[avalonsrealm]

of silvermoon

“I just don’t see why you even want to open it. Even if it wasn’t him, it’s the Horde!! They’re already the enemy.” Dustin paced around the room behind Steve., his hands flying in all different directions. His curls are barely contained beneath the shiny new Alliance hat he had gotten just a few weeks ago for Christmas.

“Dustin, man, c’mon. You’re taking this way too seriously.”

Steve peered at the message in his chat window. The battle tag was different: gold_dust, but the typing was the same. Steve would recognize that tone anywhere, even through the screen.

‘hey pretty boy ;). whatre u doin in my neck of the woods?’

Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed.

‘questing. duh.’

“Idiot -” he murmured under his breath.

“You - you responded. You actually responded!” Dustin exclaims. “Do you not remember how he whipped our asses in PvP the other week?! For no reason! He hunted us, and you’re sending him -”

“Dustin!” Steve snaps, turning around in his plush gaming chair, the one that Dustin and Lucas saved up for months to buy him for Christmas. The one that says “King Steve” on the back with a crown embroidered underneath it.

“Too seriously,” he repeats. His headset is perched neatly around his neck, the black one with the cat ear attachments Robin had thought were adorable. They were also a Christmas gift. “Besides, you don’t even know if it’s him or not, it’s not even the same battle tag.”

Steve’s always been a terrible liar.

Dustin marches over and peers at the screen for a moment.

“It’s him,” he says flatly, no hesitation. Steve really hates the kid sometimes. He’s too smart. “Stop fraternizing with the enemy Steve. Or I’m telling Lucas too and then you’ll have to deal with us both.”

Steve holds up a finger, checks his phone briefly.

Five new messages from Lucas SInclair.

“You’ve already told him. That threat doesn’t work on me anymore. Now did you come here to level up your new Night Elf Warlock in Lich King because it’s your favorite x-pac to dungeon in, or am I going to be playing this game all by myself tonight?”

Dustin just rolls his eyes and grumbles as he gets his chunky gaming laptop all set up on Steve’s desk and logs into World of Warcraft.

“I still -” he starts, as his toon loads into the game.

“Nope. I’m not listening to anything you say about this anymore,” Steve interrupts, even though he knows it won’t stop Dustin for long. It buys him some time though.

Besides, it’s not like Dustin really notices when gold_dust loads into one of their dungeons, playing an Orc shaman. At least, not until he nearly dies and gold_dust heals him in the nick of time.

“Oh COME ON!!” He shouts, slapping a hand down on the desk.

Steve cackles.

‘gottem ;),’ comes the chat reply.

The friend request from gold_dust comes shortly after, followed by a message of ‘burner account,’ before they log off.

Steve knows exactly who it is. Never once doubted it.

So when Dustin goes home a few hours later, Steve makes a new account, a burner account - africaabytoto - so all the thousands of people who have seen the memes and the rivalry and the meeting at BlizzCon can’t find him as easy, and he sends a new friend request to gold_dust, who’s come back online.

‘Burner account :^),’ is what he sends back, once he’s rushed a new character.

A Blood Elf Hunter.

For The Horde.

[nightingaelic]

Companions reacting to the couriers birthday

Thanks for the lighthearted one, anon, lately I've been getting some super plot-heavy, game mechanics-heavy or just plain heavy requests, so a birthday is just what the doctor ordered 🎂 Also a happy birthday to @profess0rjam!

The courier had been acting a little strange. They slept in for once, something that had hardly happened since the mess at the dam. They seemed like they weren't paying attention to anything around them, even though Freeside was in rare form that day with caravan traders, pickpockets and children hunting rats all over the place. It wasn't until the courier tripped over a crate of barrel cactus fruit outside a farmer's trading stand and had to apologize by buying all of the bruised produce that their companion finally turned a questioning eye on them.

The courier looked down at the armful of fruit they had acquired and sighed. "Remember when we went through Primm last month? I stopped in at the Mojave Express branch there, and Johnson told me he got those records in from the Hub. Most of it was stuff I already knew- height, weight, eye color, hair color, shoe size for some reason... but they also had my birth date. It's today."

Arcade Gannon: "Whoa." Arcade straightened his glasses. "Uh... happy birthday. How do you feel?"

The courier looked from side to side and shrugged. "I don't know. I don't feel any different. Is that normal?"

"Um... yeah?" Arcade chuckled nervously. "I mean, you know you're a year older, but it's not like a switch gets turned on or off. You were still getting older even when you didn't know when your birthday was, Six."

"Yeah, but now it's... marked," the courier replied, wrinkling their nose. "Like when Mr. New Vegas talks about me on the radio. I feel weirder about his news bulletins than I do while I'm actually out doing the things he reports on."

"Well, you're alone on that one, Six," Arcade said with a hint of jealousy in his voice. "Not everyone can attract that DJ's attention the way you do. Then again, if I ever wind up on the radio, it probably won't be good news for me."

He patted the courier on the shoulder reassuringly. "Come on. Let's get rid of the cacti fruit and head to the Atomic Wrangler to celebrate. I'll buy you a drink."

Craig Boone: "Did their records tell you anything else?" Boone asked.

"Uh... no," the courier replied. "Well, a couple of things, actually. They kept track of most of my trips when they first hired me. I've been all over the place, apparently: Circle Junction, Fort Abandon, around the Big Circle a few times, even Utah. They also wrote down that I refused to tell them where I came from, so no new info there."

"Mmm-hm." Boone frowned. "It's a start, for sure. Maybe you can retrace your steps, someday."

"Yeah." The courier picked a piece of fruit and held it up, inspecting its color. "We should do something fun tonight. Celebrate."

Boone cracked a rare smile. "For your birthday? Sure."

"Want to go see a show at the Tops with me? I think the Lonesome Drifter is playing the Aces again. Maybe we can catch him after for a drink, ask him about his travels."

Boone moved to accept a few of the cactus fruit and lighten their load. "Sounds good to me."

Lily Bowen: "Well isn't that just grand," Lily said with a smile. "How old are you turning, dearie?"

The courier made a face and giggled. "How old are you, Lily?"

"A lady never reveals her age," Lily answered primly. "Point taken, pumpkin. You should walk that fruit home to the icebox while Grandma gets going on her shopping list."

"Shopping list?"

Lily nodded. "Of course. Flour, eggs, butter, sugar, and a few other things."

The courier gave her a sly look. "What are you up to, Lily?"

"It's your birthday, dearie!" Lily replied, seizing them and the fruit they were carrying in a hug. "We have to bake a cake!"

Raul Alfonso Tejada: Raul grinned. "Feliz cumpleaños, Six. Happy birthday."

The courier looked back at him with frustrated helplessness in their eyes. "What am I supposed to do with that information? What do people do for their birthdays?"

"Well, it's a bit different now than it used to be," Raul answered, scratching his bald head. "But back in my day, we threw a little party if we had the time and money. Some years were better than others, and some were bigger milestones. In my experience, once you got past 18 there wasn't much left to celebrate except staying alive for another year. Or if you were en los Estados Unidos, 21."

"Okay." The courier nodded, then kept nodding. "Okay. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sí."

They dumped the armful of fruit into his hands. "Take those to the Old Mormon Fort and pass them out to anyone who looks hungry. I need to track down some friends and see what they're doing tonight."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "It's your birthday?!?" Cass was positively beaming. "Well shit, Six. Could've told me sooner, and I'd have planned some kind of surprise."

"Eh-heh." The courier looked sheepish. "That's what I was afraid of."

"What?" Cass put her hands on her hips. "I didn't think my surprises were that bad."

"No, no, it's not that," the courier reassured her. "It's me. You know what I do, what I've been up to. I wasn't sure I'd... I have a lot of enemies, Cass!"

"Ohhhhh, I get it." Cass threw an arm around their shoulder and steered them through the Freeside marketplace. "You weren't sure you'd make it to today, so you didn't say anything. Gotcha."

"And I'd feel like crap if I told you my birthday was coming up, and then I bit the dust after you'd already bought me a present or something," the courier added.

"Pffft." Cass waved their concerns away. "I'd just give that present to myself, then. Don't let the ones gunning for you dictate how you live your life, Six. Now come on, let's pick out something new and shiny for your gun cabinet up in the Lucky 38. My treat."

Veronica Santangelo: "Six!" Veronica squealed and did a little dance. "Happy birthday! Oh my goodness, there's so much to do, we need to round everybody up, we need to go book a table at the Gourmand, we need to-"

She stopped when she caught the courier biting their lip. "Orrrr we could not do any of that. Whatever you like, it's your birthday."

"Can we just... I don't know." The courier shuffled their feet in the dust. "My life has been kind of crazy lately, and the people on the Strip won't leave me alone if I show my face in one of the casinos. I went up to the cocktail lounge in the Lucky 38 last night and pushed some tables together. I think we can fit everyone, even if the Securitrons will have to squeeze around us to serve drinks."

Veronica's smile returned. "Okay. Yeah, that'll work. But I don't know what kind of food House has in his pantry, nowadays."

The courier answered by holding the cactus fruit up. "This'll help."

"That's not nearly enough." Veronica looked around the marketplace. "Stay put. I'm going to go find some of those kids chasing rats. They'll probably help us carry some groceries back to the Lucky 38 for a few caps."

ED-E: The courier's eyebot bobbed and beeped quizzically, as if unfamiliar with the term.

"Um, how do I..." The courier wracked their brains. "Today is the anniversary of my... creation. My assembly."

ED-E blipped a few times in quick succession, surprised.

"No, no, that's not- no." The courier shook their head. "How do you know what that is, but not understand what a birthday is? Today is the day I came out of my mom, ED-E."

The eyebot blatted understanding and disgust, as if displeased with the mechanics of biology. The courier laughed. "Well, that's what it is. Yes, I know, humans are strange, and no, I don't know why it's important. It just is. Come on, let's go hand these out to those kids we saw earlier."

Rex: Rex cocked his head to the side, tongue lolling happily. A cactus fruit escaped the courier's arms and fell to the ground, but the cyberdog gently picked it up again and offered it to his companion.

The courier smiled down at him. "Thanks, Rex. Let's go see if the King has any more refugees in need of a meal."

[r0-boat]

(2/4)

Power being back on in the morning, you placed your switch back in the dock, conveniently turned off, as you booted the game up on a different character file.

You didn’t like that you couldn’t see Volo anymore so you decided to restart the game and use different Pokemon for your team; instead of Cyndaquil you chose Rowlet. The game ran the same all the way up to Volo. Beating his Togepi, Volo gave his last few lines of dialogue and you figured he would leave like he did before.

Except he didn’t.

Instead, Volo pauses for a few moments, giving you a smile, before a finger wag and a new dialogue box coming up.

“You missed me that much to start this journey again? Such a silly girl.”

Straightening up again, Volo gave a soft smile before speaking again.

“I missed you too. Though I am surprised you chose Rowlet. You absolutely adored your Typhlosion. You were so happy when he evolved. Do not worry though, I will make things more interesting this time.”

With that, Volo walks off and both you and Mimzy are stunned. Did that just happen?!? Arceus, you wished you had recorded it.

As the days and weeks went by, these crazy occurrences kept happening. Added dialogue in places, remarks about you that were in no way part of the game and only things you had remember telling Volo in the dream, and him appearing in places that he hadn’t before. Enough so you started taking pictures with your phone and recording when he popped up.

In your other file, it was just as crazy!

After doing a mass outbreak with no luck, you were shock to find Volo by the gate, smiling as ever. You were so confused. How and why was he there? You finished the game. He shouldn’t be here. Perhaps it was a glitch and already dealing with the weird stuff in your other file, you just walked passed him. All the way up to Azure, the game goes black before it cuts to Volo’s face at the game and new dialogue boxes popping up.

“Now there, not even going say hello to me? Did not expect me here, did you, my angel?” Volo spoke before wagging a finger at you.

Nope, that was enough!

You hit the home screen before walking over and turning the switch off.

Volo called you his angel in your dream. That was his pet name for you. To be called that in the game was just too much of shock that you had to walk away for a while.

This can’t be real you thought. My game has to be messed up or you’re just imagining it all.

When you did finally turn your game back on, you were at the gate and Volo was gone.

A sigh of relief.

You hadn’t saved before quitting out of shock, so the role was still on cobalt and cornet. Or so you thought.

When the map screen came up, only a mass outbreak was at Obsidian Fieldlands.

Now you were freaking out again as Mimzy looked ready to start a fight.

Loading the map up and giving Mai the berries, what popped up was utter confusion and disbelief.

Mass outbreaks of Pokemon you had been hunting for to get shinies, ones that didn’t even spawn in the fieldlands, and all were evolution or alpha possible outbreaks.

You just stared in disbelief as Mimzy gave a small grunt. Petting her head, you clicked off the map to pull up yours as you clicked on the shinx first that was closest to you.

In more craziness, each one you found a shiny alpha.

This had to be a glitch! Had to be! Not even the thunderstorm had stopped till you finished up with the last outbreak.

And who was waiting for you at the campsite but none other than Volo.

You had to stop and take another pic as you texted your girlfriends about all this craziness.

The game went black, which startled you and Mimzy, before Volo came walking up to you smiling.

“Did you have fun? I know you had been hunting those for a while. I am sorry for scaring you my angel,” Volo’s dialogue box read.

Starting to shake, you just turned the game off into sleep mode before walking out of your room saying, “Nope, nope, not real! I’m going crazy!”

You didn’t touch the game for a week.

Yet during that time, the crazy occurrences didn’t stop. During work, a new text box popped up.

There was no number or name.

“I am sorry for scaring you again.”

You had to blink for a few seconds before replying.

“Who is this?” you wrote.

“You know who it is.”

Startled, you set your phone back down before going back to your desk work.

At times you would notice your phone pop on with the camera. You would turn it off but when out of view, it would pop back on. Looking through your photos later in the week, you found picks of yourself, at work, at the cafe, playing other game systems, eating and or sleeping with Mimzy.

At that point another text from the unnamed number came up.

“You look so beautiful. Just as before. As always. Please come back. Let me see your face again. I miss you.”

What the hell was going on????

Self-aware volo 2/4

[razziliciousart]

Betsy Bat

She plays the triangle and oversees the arcade, where she plays games with kids and dances with DJMM and the rest of the band. She's hella lazy and will usually leave Gregory alone unless he turns off the machine she's playing. Otherwise she offers Gregory assistance in exchange for being left alone and will openly offer to keep an eye on Freddy or Monty while Gregory is snooping.

Depending on the choices Gregory makes, she will either stay in her area or Gregory can choose to lure her out and to Bonnie Bowling, where she can be trapped in the pin machines and Gregory can harvest her ears, giving Freddy the ability to "see" the footsteps of approaching animatronics in ripples.

She does not get along with Roxy, or Moon. She does get along with Freddy, Chica, DJMM, and misses Bonnie. Her only opinion of Monty is that she likes to look at him.

Calls Gregory "Kiddo", "mini nugget", "pint size", "gregorio". Calls Freddy "dadbear", "fazzy faz", and "fredboy". Calls Monty "big boy", "eye candy", and "gummy". Calls Roxy "roozer", "roo roo", and "roxeroo". Calls Chica "Chi chi", "chizza", and "Cha cha".

If Gregory plays the first princess quest, she will offer him hints where the other two are and how to beat them. She can also be challenged to arcade games as a minigame and if beaten will offer flashlight upgrades or miscellaneous Betsy merch.

Her room is in the arcade, and is no different than the bands room, except for her room always being dark with glowing stars on the ceiling. There are hints that she used to bowl with Bonnie often and was part of the main band until Roxanne was added and the two constantly had spats. If her room is entered and she's talked to, she will remark about Gregory "sticking his nose where it doesn't belong".

Voice claim: Morgan Garrett (VA of Akane Owari in the Danganronpa anime)

Gregory: "Why aren't you hunting me like the others?"

Betsy: "you think I wanna end up like Darth Maul, Miss Roboto, and Firekeeper over there?"

In the loading dock ending while Freddy's holding the door for dear life, Betsy's just in the backseat being jostled around while playing on a Switch she got from confiscated items. Bitch didn't even wanna go.

Betsy is non hostile towards Gregory and can't be decommissioned except during the small window when the arcade is being reset. That's the only time she is hostile towards Gregory and can be lured into the Bonnie Bowling pin machines, where she gets crushed and can have her ears removed and applied on Freddy.

Betsy wouldn't fly, shes too lazy. She just wants to play triangle and eat nachos and watch Monty. Soft shiny vinyl is what makes her wings and has a glitter affect that would add that 80s pop band aesthetic. The pointy ends of the wings being part of why she got removed from the main stage. Accidentally poking eyes out and getting demoted to the arcade. The often forgotten poke of '86. Didn't hurt the kid's frontal lobe, but he did have to get minor surgery and wear an eyepatch for like three weeks. It's ok tho he got a complimentary foxy pirate eye patch and a waiver to promise not to sue. But Betsy does still feel kinda bad.

Betsy doesn't show much interest in Vanessa or Vanny and openly calls Vanny a gross furry and will warn Gregory to "watch out for the prancing fursona" if Vanny is lurking I the arcade

If Betsy is decommissioned:

Freddy's response to the advanced hearing: "Oh wow! I can hear everything! I can even hear the daycare attendant across the pizzaplex! This is just like Betsy!"

Gregory: "Yup, just like Betsy"

Freddy: "Now we can talk even from our rooms!"

After being decommissioned, she will wander the entire pizzaplex and be hostile towards Gregory.

When hunting Gregory, Betsy will mostly growl, screech, and make assorted comments: "Maybe I deserve this" "this would've never happened if she never showed up" "Hello! Is anyone there!" "It's so quiet..." "where are my friends..." "I just wanted to be alone"

If shot with the fazeblaster, she will make assorted glitched screeches and scold Gregory with assorted comments: "Watch where you aim that thing!" "Do I look like a threat to you!" "How about I shoot YOU in the eye, brat!"

If snapped with the fazcamera, she will also screech and scold Gregory with: "You're such a sore loser!" "Do it again, I dare you!" "See if I help you again!"

If hit with either too often in the same hour, she will jumpscare Gregory and throw him into Freddy's compartment. (Ei: jumpscared then appearing from inside freddy whether or not freddy was there beforehand.) She will then tell Gregory "Keep your pet on a leash, fred!"

Betsy is always at a different machine each time Gregory enters the arcade. Probably working on getting her high scores back in the newly reset games.

While the arcade is being reset, she will lurk around. Instead of mostly dialogue, Gregory will hear squeaking and clicking, indicating Betsy using echolocation to find Gregory in the dark. Aside from sounds, Betsy will make remarks like "That was my high score!" "How could one brat ruin my win streak!" "You'll wish you were a ball in a pachinko machine when I find you!"

If unlocking the secret door in preparation for the true ending, Betsy will grow more quiet.

After one lock: "You should really stop while you're ahead, nugget"

After two locks: "You don't know what's behind that door. Its best to stay that way."

After all three locks: "Don't let him escape. Whatever you do."

After that, she will only tell Gregory to "Get out while you're able, kid" "Hes coming." "He knows you're here." "Go home, kid."

When Betsy was part of the main band with Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica when the pizzaplex first opened, she had been made with the intention of filling in what would have been Foxys place, spare parts from Funtime Foxy being used to build parts of her. Eventually, she and Chica became so popular with the young girls who visited the Pizzaplex that Betsy got an overhaul and was rebuilt with her own parts. While some traits of funtime Foxy can still be seen, none of her parts remain from the former animatronic.

If going for the hero ending:

Betsy will hint at the locations of each Princess quest.

"I found this old game back by Roxys Salon. Creepy thing, not really my style."

After one princess quest: "oh you found that old game? It's got a sequel somewhere around here. DJ mentioned it a few times."

After beating two of the games: "you have a weird taste in games. Just like that greasy furry. She loved the threequel."

When Bonnie was decommissioned and moved to the Bowling Alley, and Monty moved into his place, Betsy began acting out. She would vanish from birthday parties and hide out at the arcade. She would refuse to return to her room unless allowed to visit Bonnie at the Bowling Alley, first. When Bonnie was officially permanently removed and Roxanne was added to the band, Betsy became more aggressive. She would constantly shove Roxy off the main stage, causing a fight between the two. She would frequently hide out at the Bowling alley and just stare at Bonnie's former stage. She would snap at any staff who attempted to approach her for repairs. It came to a head when she was in the arcade and a child came from behind, startling Betsy into thinking staff had snuck up on her. The pointed end of her wing caught the child in his left eye socket, causing permanent damage that required surgery. The pizzaplex gave the child a complimentary foxy the pirate eyepatch and a one year membership in exchange for no lawsuit. But after the incident, Betsy was not quite the same. She became cold to children and would try to keep her distance from them.

When first encountered non-hostile, if Freddy is present, he will comment about how he believes Betsy isolates herself out of fear of harming others, and how she was never quite the same "when the band broke up".

If freddy is left alone near Betsy while Gregory is wandering about, they can be heard idly chatting. "Hey fredboy, you up for a game?" "I cannot, I'm sorry." "You never were good at these, eh?"/"So, took the dad in dadbear seriously?" "I am protecting Gregory. He must go home." "Keep telling yourself that."/"You still chummy with those fakes?" "They are my friends" "Well... When they decide to replace you, you can bunk with me." "Thank you, Betsy."

A present with golden glamrock Bonnie plushie can be found in her room along with a duffelbag containing a message that retells the story from the perspective of the staff who tried to fix her.

If not spoken to and Gregory is wandering nearby while animatronics are lurking, Betsy will make idle comments without prompt.

If intact Chica is in the arcade: "She keeps talking about candy. Where is she getting candy?"

If intact Roxy is in the arcade: "Smells like wet dog and narcissism in here"

If intact Monty is in the arcade: "Hey kid, walk this way. I wanna watch him go by one more time."

If broken Chica is in the arcade: "Somehow these sounds are worse..."

If broken Roxy is in the arcade: "heheheheheh oh this is too good"

If broken Monty is in the arcade: "You better run, kid, that's some nightmare inducing stuff!"

If moon is out and about and Gregory is in the arcade: "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ONE MORE GAME AND I'LL SLEEP! can't do nothing in this place"

[kenshisthoughts]

The Main Problem with Modern pokemon.

First and foremost let me give my general relationship with Pokemon.

I started with Red and blue way back in the late 90s, Yellow, gold and silver. Then i fell off for a bit, got back in in 08 when i bought leaf green and emerald as graduation gifts to myself, Heart gold soul silver, black and white, black 2 and white two, X and Y, Sun and Moon, Ultra sun and Ultra moon, Sword, and lastly scarlet.

Now there are some gaps in there yes and A change in behavior near the end. See, I sort of noticed this in gen 6, really began to notice in gen 7, But it wasn't untill gens 8 and 9 that i fully understood something that's become a problem with Pokemon as of late.

It Isn't Getting Enough Time, And/Or Manpower To Produce Quality Games Anymore. To put it simply, Modern pokemon going 3D has caused a massive increase in the amount of time and effort the games require to produce the same kind of quality as they usually did. However to put it blunt they simply are not getting it. The cycle between generations is still only 3 years, and the number of secondary main line releases has increased between remakes and side-stories such as Legends of Arceus or the Hoenn and SInnoh remakes which also means Unova is next up.

So despite gen 6 switching to 3D it manages to salvage some things But if you look at X and Y you can so very easily find the evidence of 3 years not being enough time. Specially sense ambition did not seem to shrink to accommodate the work load of switching to 3D. So first to bring up and this will be a universal complaint you'll Hear about X and Y. There is next to no Post-game. There is the singular interesting idea of the friend-park which allows you to shiny hunt 3 pokemon of a type based on your 3DS friends list and their codes but that's it. If there is anything else it's so small as to be easily forgotten. However there is also the sheer number of Quote unquote, "Rivals" in the game. If i recall you are one of a group of 5 'friends' all traveling Kalos to fulfill some objective. There is Yourself, the hero trying to get all the badges and maybe fill the pokedex. Then there is Rival who is non-choisen gendered player character withotu their hat playing as the typical 'we both hunt badges and train pokemon' Then there is Shauna who is sort of a Traveling companion and psuedo potential love interest your gender be damned. She's actually a solid character over all generally being with you and main rival in all of the major events and even having some nice moments alone with you that imply the potential romantic interest which is fine but you could just read them as good friends. Then you have, Bowl cut Dex nerd, and Unit Dancer. These two, exist, that is about all I can say about them. It feels like if you cut both of them you'd lose nothing of substance from X and Y. Like I think they have some minor post-game rewards for you if you do stuff like fill the pokedex for Dex nerd and show pokemon moves with 'dance' in their name to Unit dancer but that's it. Both of them are insubstantial to the main plot progression and Unit Dancer almost feels like an idea borrowed from the Gen 5 games given there are several dancers in several cities across Unova, but there are like, None? In Kalos that i can think of, definitely no side-quests involving dancing outside of Unit dancer. However these are over all minor offenses when playing as X and Y are solid games, sure they had some minor bugs during early release but First 3D outting and first Pokemon where they had the luxury of patches.

Let's talk about gen 7. Over all Sun and Moon, i have nothing major to complain about, except, for the fact they patched the Grass trial, cutting all of the fun innuendo filled dialogue, i get Why, but I disagree with doing so. Over all there's nothing to complain about sun and moon, at first. Then Ultra sun and Ultra moon come along and several complaints are raised, retroactively. The Ultra version's expanded plot points, pokedex, and side and post-game content, make Sun and Moon feel like a Beta that was released as a full game. It felt like Ultra sun and moon snubbed the original sun and moon by doing something similar to Oras, where all of the better expanded content was in the next game, but where X and Y and Oras are 2 different regions and 2 different plots. Sun/Moon and Ultra Sun/moon are the same region and like, 95% the same plot with only a few key differences to fit in a couple new characters and like 2 new locations so that Necrozma and his Kyurem Ripoff forms can be the focus instead of the original version pokemon. It has the unfortinate effect of, There's No more reason to play Sun and Moon. It's plot is not different enough to warrant Sun and moon as seperate games to own, if you want to enjoy Alola just own Ultra sun or Ultra moon, maybe both if you want a game for storage like i typically did back in the day. It feels like they saw how Black 2 and White 2 worked and missed the whole 'sequel plot' system that they had going that made the versions distinct from one another.

Then we come to Gen 8. I'm going to be honest, I did not finish Sword and Shield. I got, 2 to 3 badges before the oddly paced uninteresting story just bored me and I gave up. I hated losing Mega's for Dynamax as atleast gen 7 Let you use both Z moves and Megas but both vanished in favor of this new idea that only was special for some pokemon and others just made HUUUUUUUUUUGE. yes it had some neat Characters but it would continue a trend of 'Charizard! Love Charizard!' That was stared in gen 6 with the fact it was one of only 2 pokemon with 2 megas the other being the legendary mewtwo. I also Didn't care for Team Yell to be honest.

Now Onto the most recent games. Scarlet and Violet. First off, the over all plot is great, the fact you effectively have 3 main plots that cover all 18 types with atleast 1 boss for each is great, Team Star feels like the Drama club version of team Skull and I don't hate it. Honestly the world, the story, the over all design and characters are great. The fact it suffers memory leak issues causing you to have to fully cycle off the software in order to deal with it so the game runs Mostly smooth is Horrendous. These are issues that greatly destroy the games reputation, and it feels like someone should of spent more time trying to make Violet make more sense cause there's very little reason for the plot points of Scarlet and violet to be identical at the end, as Robo paradox pokemon from the future should not be interesting to the professor or the same kind of danger as the Prehistoric Paradox pokemon.

What does all of this end up meaning? To be quite honest It seems to me like the 3 Year cycle of pokemon main generational installments is not viable anymore. It started to not be viable during the Transition to 3D, showed itself not viable in the next generation as because of all the side Products the secondary installment made the Original look like a Beta release, the 8th gen was generally poorly received and felt just, flat, and while the 9th has a lot of life in the areas the 8th gen failed, it came at the cost of the game's stability. They either need to double/triple the number of people avaliable to work on the game or they need to give these games extra years, make the cycle 5 years apart if possible, give the team time to actually work everything out. Because if Gen 10 comes out either as flat as gen 8 or as buggy as gen 9 then we could see a serious drop off in pokemon's power in the gaming sphere. I Don't think Pokemon would ever die, But older fans play new games to enjoy the rush of their youth, to see what's new what's not and see their old friends in better quality, but because of gen 8 and 9, all of my old pokemon from gens 3 and on are still on an ultra sun cart cause I'm afraid if i bring them up they might be lost to the ever lasting ether of deletion.

[electricprincess96]

Welcome to the salty spittoon! How tough are ya!?

“How tough am i!? HOW TOUGH AM I!? I shiny hunt!”

Yeah so

“Full odds”

Right this way sir

I mean I wasn't knocking people who Shiny hunt in ScVi I just personally felt it wasn't as gratifying because everyone and their gran could shiny hunt in ScVi and beyond like ridiculously unlucky RNG you'll be pretty successful.

I got like 8 Shinys in ScVi before even completing the game by just running around cause the spawn rate is higher.

Every shiny I have in SwSh I had to deliberately breed for (Mesuda Method isn't technically full odds but its not quite sandwich level of odds) and it took hours with various levels of success depending on the Pokémon and I just felt like it was more rewarding for me personally.

That being said I did hunt for a Shiny Mareep in ScVi purely because its my favourite Pokémon.

I also just personally prefer SwSh as a game so I don't mind loading that up and running back and forth for hours to hatch eggs whereas I didn't like ScVi so I don't want to play that game just to Shiny Hunt.

[shiny-pokemon-giveaways]

Pokemon Legends: Arceus Review

As promised, here’s my full review for Pokemon Legends: Arceus. I haven’t caught God™ yet, so technically I haven’t completed the game; but I’m close enough to where I can review it.

The rest of the review is under the cut so that people can avoid potential spoilers (although I will try my best to keep it spoilers free) and to shorten the post.

Keep in mind that while I did promise a full review, I never said I was GOOD at making reviews. So without further ado:

Overall, Pokemon Legends: Arceus is the best Pokemon title that Game Freak has published in a very long time. It’s not perfect by any means; but it’s incredibly fun and gives you a lot to do.

The only big downside to the game is how it looks. The shading was poorly handled and the frame rate of certain objects in the distance is laughable. View distance is pretty bad too; with patches of grass and parts of mountains in the distance suddenly popping into existence as you approach them; but once you get over the fact that it looks like they only had a $50 budget for the lighting and view distance, the game is very enjoyable.

I love the new real-time catching mechanic. Being able to catch Pokemon without battling actually motivates me to catch more since it’s less time consuming. I’m not looking forward to returning to the traditional way of catching in Scarlet/Violet.

The gameplay loop is fun and I didn’t feel like it became mundane at any point. Although I would say that it was pretty annoying that I had to load back into Jubilife Village before loading the next zone that I wanted to head to. It felt like an unnecessary extra step.

Mass outbreaks are a fun way to shiny hunt. I’m glad that mass outbreaks exist, because there isn’t any breeding in this game. And while I was salty when it was leaked that breeding was removed, I feel like these mass outbreaks are a great replacer; and I feel like I would prefer these mass outbreaks over breeding for shinies.

The storyline was okay. That doesn’t sound like much, but I thought Sword/Shield’s storyline was absolute trash. So “okay” is a huge step up from “rubbish.” To me, all the characters were likable *cough* except for Irida *cough* and all their designs were nice *cough* not Irida or Palina *cough*.

I’m running out of coherent things to say; so here’s a pros/cons list to finish this off:

Pros/Things I really enjoyed:

Real-time catching mechanic

A storyline that isn’t total trash

Mass outbreaks and massive mass outbreaks

Fun gameplay loop

Travelling on mounts

New Pokemon/Formes

Exploring all the zones

Tracking down satchels that other players lost

Collecting Alpha Pokemon!! (I’ve decided to do a full Alpha living Dex. I love them massive lads)

Cons/Things I disliked:

Poor shading/lighting

Poor view distance

Poor frame rate on objects in the distance

Tedious resource grinding since you cannot throw Pokeballs while riding Wrydeer.

No immediate way to go from one area to another. You have to load back into Jubilife Village first.

Catching Pokemon in the water. (Idk if it’s just a “me” thing; but catching Pokemon in the water is just NOT FUN; and I thought it would be since we’re able to throw balls while riding Basculegion)

Overall, I would highly recommend this game. I haven’t had this much fun playing a main-title Pokemon game since ORAS.

[radramblog]

Werewolves are still iffy in EDH

With the release of Innistrad: Midnight Hunt, I’m sure many people myself included were hoping that the set’s Werewolf focus would solve some of the issues with the tribe in Commander. Having been a big fan of the creature type’s mechanics and design in Shadows block, and playing a lot of them in Limited and Standard formats, I was excited to see what MID would bring to the table.

Unfortunately, despite the shiny new commander the deck has, I’m not confident that the many, many issues that make Werewolves awkward in Commander have actually found an answer.

Issue 1: The cardpool

Werewolves are kind of in this awkward place where due to mechanically being tied to Innistrad and its double-faced-card Transform mechanic, there just aren’t very many of them, even though we’ve been to Innistrad 3 times now. As well, of the current 6 Innistrad-based sets, 2 of them (DKA and EMN) are small sets and 1 (AVR) doesn’t actually have any werewolves in them. The number of werewolves, therefore, is not particularly big- at time of writing, 83 cards exist with the word Werewolf or Werewolves, and of those 5 are explicit hate pieces. And one is Victim of Night, a removal spell that happens not to hit them. That leaves 78 cards to work with, outside of Changelings.

Frustratingly, WoTC has done very little to supplement this when visiting other planes. There exist exactly 6 Werewolf-related cards printed outside of Innistrad, with only 4 of those actually being Werewolves. I appreciate the slight bones being thrown in the form of WAR Arlinn, Nightpack Ambusher, and AFR’s own Werewolf Pack leader, but that’s about a card a year, which is not enough to support a tribe like this.

There’s also an issue where most of the Werewolf cards are pretty much just limited fodder. Of the 62 cards with the type Werewolf on them (again not including Changelings), I’d wager maybe 30 of them are playable in Commander, using an extremely loose definition of the word playable and with the understanding that this deck is going to be janky as hell. The tribe really suffers from its flavour-based limits, especially with the lack of non-Innistrad support, even though many of the game’s mechanics could be adapted to flavour of the Werewolf.

The final problem with the cardpool is the weak support cards. Werewolves have a fair few support cards, actually, but the issue is most of them are either not scaled for the format or only apply on one side of a 2-sided card. Many tribes in the middle-ground of card quality can get propped up by a handful of really good support cards- as an example, Treefolk have Timber Protector and Leaf-Crowned Elder, and Myr have Myr Galvaniser, Myr Turbine, and basically every Artifact support card ever to exist. Werewolves are stuck with, outside of one or two spicy new cards, mostly just +1/+1 anthems/counters and a handful of keywords, and also Immerwolf/Geier Reach Bandit (but the latter only half the time).

The result of this is that despite arguably being one of the better supported tribes as far as card numbers, Werewolves seriously pale in comparison to the majority of the field, especially compared to their Innistradi brethren- they look real awkward next to Humans, Zombies, Spirits, and Vampires.

Issue 2: The colours

Werewolves are pretty shoehorned into Gruul as far as the cards go. Both legendary Werewolves and the Werewolf Planeswalker are in the colour combination, as well as the vast majority of the tribe’s members. However, Midnight Hunt has added some other options in all 3 other colours, and there are reasons to run each anyway- mostly to do with, you know, that whole cardpool issue.

Because as good as Tovolar is, this tribe needs a little help from another colour, in my opinion.

White is the most commonly added colour to Werewolf decks, due to getting to play Rule of Law effects to stop your Werewolves from getting flipped back over. If I build Werewolves, it probably will be Naya, just because I already have two Gruul decks, but my issue is the lack of a clear Commander. Samut is clearly the best option, mostly on account of Flash and the deck likely being fairly aggressive, but I have an issue with commanders, particularly Tribal commanders, not accurately representing the deck. But then, what am I supposed to go with? Anara/Bruse Tarl? Gahiji? Rin and Seri kinda work flavourfully, if you squint, but they do nothing for the gameplay of the deck. I probably would have to just get over it and play Samut, and maybe you should too.

Midnight Hunt did also throw some Black Werewolves in, to go with the original 3 from back in the day (the utterly terrible Treacherous Werewolf, Lesser Werewolf, and Greater Werewolf), opening Jund as an option, kind of. My issue with this is that aside from just general good cards, Black doesn’t really add much to the deck’s likely plans, and only one of the new Black Werewolves, Graveyard Tresspasser, is really any good. I suppose this does mean you could run 4-colour with Saskia, but…eh…

This set also added a singular Blue werewolf in Suspicious Stowaway, which is actually kinda okay. And also Blue gets one extra Rule of Law effect in Arcane Laboratory. But I don’t think I’m going to see Temur Werewolves anytime soon. I guess you could run Surrak? Blue does notably also get you a bunch of the better Changelings, on account of their recent Kaldheim iterations being in Green-Blue.

There is always, of course, Morophon. But that fucker’s for cowards. The TL;DR is, that Werewolves’s best commanders don’t give you access to everything the deck needs.

 Issue 3: The tribes

This is somewhat of a more minor issue, but one worth bringing up. Many of the Werewolf matters cards are shared with Wolf matters cards, and so it’s likely worth bringing a few of the better Wolves into the mix. Sarulf, if you’re including Black, or one or both Tolsimir-s in White. Wolves are a tribe with many, many more members, especially adding in all the Wolf Token producing cards, though there are still fewer Wolf Matters cards than Werewolf Matters ones. Also, some of the Werewolf Matters cards are Wolves, like Nightpack Ambusher, Silverfur Partisan, and Immerwolf. So there’s probably a fair few worth throwing in.

As well, seeing as the vast majority of Werewolves have Human front faces, some Humans matter cards like Angel of Glory’s Rise or the new Katilda are worth a shout. There are very few of these that work unfortunately, seeing as you are actively trying to have your humans not be humans, but it’s potentially worth the look.

The reason I find this to be an issue is that you can only add in so many subthemes like this before the deck’s real synergies start to get too heavily diluted. Every Wolf you add makes your Werewolves worse, you know?

I dunno maybe this one was less an issue and more just a recommendation. And yes I know most of the non-Human Werewolves are in fact Eldrazi, but as much as I love those cards they’re both mostly bad and there’s not enough of them, so don’t bother putting Eldrazi cards in there. You have to dump a lot of mana to flip them anyway.

Issue 4: The gameplay

Werewolves as a tribe are extremely challenging from a gameplay perspective. You have to be paying close attention every turn, in order to make sure that you know when your Werewolves are transforming- and in a format like Commander, they are probably not spending nearly as much time with the back half as they are the front half.

While I appreciate Midnight Hunt’s design efforts to simplify this with the Daybound mechanic, in Commander this kinda just makes it worse. Daybound means you are having to track this mechanic at all times, even when you or nobody else has a Werewolf on the field, as long as you’ve played one of the new ones beforehand. As well, the older cards (which you will need some of) are completely unlinked to this day/night cycle, even though they technically use the same trigger, which can lead to some confusion- if, for example, Tovolar makes it Night on your Upkeep, playing a Duskwatch Recruiter is still going to leave you with a Duskwatch Recruiter, not a Krallenhorde Howler.

Considering Tovolar is likely the leader for most Werewolf decks going forward, I appreciate the effort to make him work with the Werewolves of the past, and that he tries to mitigate the tribe’s biggest issue. But there are a whole bunch of really finicky interactions that are both difficult to get your head around and difficult to explain to others when you pull them off. For example, if the player before you casts two spells on their turn, it becomes Day as the turn begins, meaning all your MID Werewolves will transform immediately, then Upkeep happens, and any of your non-MID Werewolves flip as well. Then Tovolar triggers, and you can transform as many of your Werewolves as you want- so if you stack the triggers right, then something like, say, Huntmaster of the Fells or Ulrich of the Krallenhorde will get to transform twice in the same step and get both of its “when ~ transforms” effects.

The other half of this is just the mental load on your opponents. You know what all your cards do, but your opponents aren’t going to! And this is a typical thing in EDH, the game requires either a massive knowledge of Magic, an ability to pick up on new cards and interactions quickly, or both, but it gets so much worse when each of your cards has two sides worth of text to read off whenever you play one. And people (particularly those with less-than-perfect threat assessment) are going to typically assume that the more words on your cards the better they are, so you might get targeted just based on that even though half the words aren’t relevant most of the time.

The long and short of Werewolves in EDH is this: They’re still awkward and janky. I think you can actually build a deck, but you could already do that technically, and I think the additions from MID aren’t quite enough to bump the tribe up to Actually Good. They are, though, about the level of Jank that I appreciate, so maybe I’ll still just build them anyway.

There is potential hope, though. Innistrad: Midnight Hunt is an Innistrad Werewolf Set that contains no less than 15 Vampires (one of my biggest issues with the set!), and the next set is Innistrad: Crimson Vow, the Innistrad Vampire Set. Due to the mechanical requirements, I can’t imagine we’re seeing 15 Werewolves in that one, but I’m hoping we do at least get a couple extras. And hey, maybe one of that one’s Commander decks will be Werewolves!

…The previous was written under the assumption that we didn’t know what the VOW Commander Decks were. As it turns out, we have the names. Neither of them are Werewolf themed.

God damn it, maybe next time we come back to Innistrad then. So, see you in 2026.