#I did choose the girls most of the time tho bc ofc the guys in that class bullied me too but

[alienpupy]

so i'm a trans guy whos taking sports classes in college. and just from observation. Cis boys in mixed gender sports are so fucking misogynistic.

I'm far along enough in my transition now that i pass almost all the time and the fucking whiplash from how guys in group sports treat me now vs last year alone (when i didnt pass as often) is really horrible. Like obviously I had already noticed how male teammates treated me as a girl but now that they see me as a guy (an obviously queer guy, but still) its like. Oh you guys can actually see your other teammates you just actively ignore the girls on purpose. Jesus christ.

There's a few really short girls in my class this semester, and one in particular i kinda made friends with during the first week. We were in the same team and I made a point to pass her the ball whenever I could, because at the start no one else would. And guess what! She's fast and has a good eye, and with that team we won like 3/4 of the matches we played. The others even started passing her the ball too once they realised she was a decent player.

In today's class the teacher changed the teams, I'm no longer with her, instead shes in a team with the two tallest and most athletic cis boys of the group, and a few other 5' nothing girls. And they're the worst fucking team in the class because the two guys only pass the ball between themselves, and since the girls can fucking tell they're being ignored, they put in like half the effort they would otherwise.

And I'm just reminded of that year of sports class in high school where the boys in my class were so aggressively shitty the teacher had to separate sports into girls and guys teams for the rest of the year. Not because the girls were inately any worse than the guys, but because the girls could fucking tell the guys were actively excluding them from games they were supposed to all play in, so they stopped trying. Because fucking obviously.

I'm honestly convinced that women's sports are only separate because cis men don't feel like they have to play fair against women. Thats a learned behavior. Women have been told their whole lives that men are stronger and they shouldnt even try, so they don't feel like they can. That's a learned behavior. The idea that women shouldn't compete with men but instead be relegated to a secondary, less important category is inherently misogynistic. The problem is in how society treats women, and how it teaches boys to see girls, and how it teaches girls to see themselves.

If you make this post about trans people in sports I'll kill you

[luffyvace]

I need.....I NEED MORE SAIKI K X READER SHEWAS SCSKSB

I have been feed well by your small serie of saiki kusos x write reader 🤤

But may I request as saiki kusos w f!s/o who suddenly have makoto as a stalker?

(sorry if you don't understand this my first time requesting 😭😭)

AHHH IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE SERIES!!

that’s actually a great idea!! I’m super pumped to do this request! :)

Don’t worry I know just what ya mean!

⚠️stalking warning,⚠️ before I start, if I may 😵‍💫

💛

Saiki will know right away when he starts stalking you-

And ngl this is the perfect chance to get rid of him 😈🙏

just kidding! But seriously, he let go of all the times makoto’s annoyed him in the past, but now that’s he’s an issue with you? His girlfriend? The one girl he can actually tolerate, scratch that, loves??

yeah no buddy this one’s not gonna slide

unfortunately he cant punch him bc 1) Saiki’s too strong and 2) that’d draw a lot of attention to himself since Makoto is a celebrity

but what he can do?? Well, Plan A) pinch his cheeks till they hurt and threaten him, Upgraded Plan A) disguise himself then pinch his cheeks, Plan B) keep scaring the crap out of him every time he tries to follow you, Plan C) calmly talk it out with him that you two are an item, Plan D) tell Teruhashi and use her love for Saiki to his advantage, getting her to tell her parents and stop her brother, Plan E) Publicly expose that freak or Plan F) tell you you have a stalker if you haven’t noticed, and if you have, go to the police

wow! what well thought out plans! :) most of them won’t work

heres why!

upgraded plan A is better than just plan A but it will ultimately still draw attention

plan c is unlikely to work seeing as though how creepy that guy is, plus he doesn’t like Saiki

As of plan d Teruhashi can hardly stop him from being a creep to HER (😭⁉️) and i don’t know how well the parents will care, especially if he’s making them money..😟

plan e….seems like it would be successful..buuut i feel he would just use his celebrity status to will the evidence away, like speaking out about how he would “never” do that and doing charity 🙄 plus the fan girls probably won’t believe some rando who uploads that on the internet over they’re fav 😒

ngl plan F is really reasonable and has one of the highest chance of working, but yet again, the celebrity card will strike and he could pay off the police so they don’t do crap abt it 🤦‍♀️😑

therefore! Plan B it is! Seems the most likely to work + Saiki can get his revenge in a practically harmless way! :3

Thanks to his powers (for once 😭) no one is likely to believe even the Makoto when he says a flying guy dropped a pile of dog crap on him 😏🤷‍♀️

and even if they did when he tries to explain the full story he’ll have to keep lying to keep the lie of him not stalking you alive 👎

but he still will tell you if your unaware tho!

he’s likely gonna be hesitant if he knows you’ll freak about abt it but you deserve to know. And ofc he can always keep you safe (thanks magic powers, for being useful for once!) but he also would want your parents to know so if Makoto tries something they can have a lead.

so yes ultimately he tells you, likely at his house, in his room, and he tries to break it to you as gently as possible but…there’s no easy way to take that kind of info 😬😟

if you get scared or cry he’ll tell you his plan to make him leave you alone, and he tells you to tell your parents too. Essentially trying to console you

if you choose to trust him and react a bit calmer, maybe still worried, he’d ask if you still wanna go out in public knowing this, and if yes he’ll accompany whenever and wherever he can, especially since Makoto won’t wanna come up to you while he’s there, thinking Saiki’s your boyfriend

he is

Also If Makoto does anything perverted as far as taking sus pictures of you or imagining weird things with those photos he’ll rip them up and make the paper and random things fly around in his room, every time

He probably breaks his phones/cameras too, even if he buys knew ones, as punishment

onto the final battle!

let’s say your walking home from school and Makoto is following you, your boyfriend is close behind you both, monitoring the situation for a good chance to strike. First, you cross the railroad to get home, but Makoto has to fall back so you don’t see him, but when it’s his turn to go? Oh no! The trains coming! Where’d that even come from? there was no train?! CRAP!- huh? Wait..the trains gone..thank goodness?! 😭

oh wait! He needs to catch up to you! Well at least he knows where you live and what route you take through research! He needs to catch up! HOLY CRAP! What’s a mob doing here?! Did a fan see him?? How’d they find him..no way, don’t tell me they’re gonna find out what he’s doing..NO DONT COME ANY CLOSer…? They’re running past him? Well I guess he is in disguise..wait, they were running to this arch nemesis and top competition?! 😠 seriously?! That guy over him??

he proceeds to head over there to show the ladies who they should really be drooling over 😏 WAIT- HE CANT REVEAL HIMSELF RIGHT NOW?!- what?…where’d his wig go? THE WIND BLEW IT OFF?! HOLY- HE’S ABOUT TO GET FOUND OUT🫨 RUN 😭 🏃

aw man he’s outta breath, what are the odds the wind would blow his wig off near a mob of fans?! Now he’s gotta be extra careful following you! And it’s already late! Actually..it’s pretty darn dark….dang it! You’re probably in your house by now! Oh well…maybe you still have your window open and he can get some pictures that way! 👍

uh..is he starting to hear a second pair of footsteps..? But..no one’s around..why’s it getting louder..?! UH, it’s getting more aggressive now 😥….okay that’s it! he’s running..!

dang it! It’s chasing him! No way he can lead this creep to your house! (Ironic huh) he’s gotta take a wrong turn!

man! What time is it?! Midnight?! Has he really been running that long??? Why’s this freak still chasing him? And who is it?!?

alright! He’ll take a turn into that alley and lose ‘em! Then he’ll make a ‘U’ back to your house! Although there’s no way to be sure if your still up or not :/

hey! The footsteps are gone! Maybe think he lost him! Alright! He’ll take another turn and go back to your place!

🏃🏃

right as he turns the corner?

Saiki:👹

Jump scare!

he immediately calls his manager while running away, thinking he’s either a mass muderer, a demon or a stalker! 😱

and the best part is? Nobody will believe him 😊

ngl Saiki probably won’t let this slide even a couple days after he finds out Makoto’s stalking you, he’s quick to act and stop him bc no.

Super Saiki to your rescue! 🦸🤩😎

Ngl you’re beautiful so I see what Makoto sees in you but…..dude. Don’t stalk your crush.

🌸💐🌺

hope you enjoyed your hcs! -Brook

[itneverlasted]

Hellooo Tumblr

It’s been so long (well for me)

I’m pretty confident my anonymous readers have now ghosted their idea of me or my page. I’ll miss you, just because it warmed my heart knowing I’m being heard from afar. :)

I actually don’t want to ruin this page/account bc I have such great yet sad memories of the things I’ve posted and reshared on here and it warms the younger me. I am currently now 25 years old and I’m thinking about making a new account… not sure yet.

2025 is a new year and definitely a lot of things I’ve gathered from myself from the past few years, the good and bad.

The bad: I’m no longer sweet (so I’m told), I’m not as soft and nice like I once was. My humor has changed. My voice has changed. The tone in my voice, has changed. The way I observe things have changed. I have a foul mouth. I’m negative. Many more ..Though, there are reasons for all of these changes. I’m not going to point fingers but it seems that there’s been many arrows in my path that I am trying to avoid.

The good: I am kind. I am considerate. I am giving. I am definitely louder (which actually drives me insane considering how quiet I used to be.) I can be very excited. I am curious. I am generous. I am grateful. The most important thing is, I forget that I am loved.

I want to start off by saying I feel like I can’t write anymore. I mean, I’ve never written anything great but I notice something you won’t understand. Anyways, 25, crazy— I always feel like getting “older” .. I’ve always thought it was a myth cause pfft, not me. I’m supposed to stay young forever—duh. NOPE. You’ll notice changes in your skin, hair, and body. Its saddens me to the core but I was just in a stupid denial lol. Also, girl calm down “25 isn’t old” I KNOW BUT I FEEL LIKE IM STILL 19 or 20. It sucks sooo much.

But I do like the benefits of being old than 21 ;)

For this part you can choose to read or skip. I’m just to lay it out about whatever comes to mind

I’ve gotten closer to my family a lot. Especially my immediate family, which I honestly thought there was no saving. Friendly advice with living in a shit home, it does get better. No matter how horrible your relationship is, it will soon disperse. It took many many MANY tries but you just have to play by ear when you get older.

Friends? God I’m so odd and weird. Idk how to, yanno, keep friendship without getting annoyed all the time (yes I know I blame myself which is why I’ll gladly accept the 2 friends that I have)…. I lied. I never know what “friends” mean. I’m complicated. I have one guy best friend who I can hang with and have been friends for with since kids. He’s super chill, a girls girl, and isn’t annoying. Then there’s this girl but I’ve drifted away from her.. we still talk, just not regularly. I met her through my job. She was funny. I do have a few of gaming friends tho. But I draw a line in that bubble between “online” and “in person”

Boys? Pfffftt. What even is that. I don’t see myself getting married either. If I did holy fuck.

My job suckssss but the money is good sometimes. Mentally and physically I’m checked the fuck out from that place

I learned how to play Minecraft a lot recently and now I. Cannot. Stop. My eyes burn, my posture is fucked, and sleeping schedule is still the same. Terrible. I still can’t get a full 8 hour sleep, not even when I was in school YAY :D but building a lot of cool stuff is fun. Fortnite is still fun ofc

I’ve recently started to love and subscribe a few people on YouTube. I was never a podcast fan but only for Bad Friends. They are so hilarious. Absolutely love it. Kai Cenat is also a G. Adore his videos and his shopping experiences at Walmart. Last but not least can’t forget CASEOH. Hehe, the best <3 those are just my top 3

I suck at gyming. Lifting weights is great and all but I feel like I’m beefy. I definitely prefer the High Intensity Hit Training. I love the idea of my whole body moving and getting my heart pumped. But I stopped going for almost a month because I got caught up with working 12-13 hour shifts back to back so I had no rest, no motivation, and no fuel. Then I went on vacation 3 weeks ago and finally came back and started my gym again. It definitely feels good to be back for the most part.

Omg I’ve been seeing so many people I know from highschool and if you know me, I PANIC. Why? I don’t know!! What if I say hi and I don’t get noticed back and I’m like ok great imma kms rn cause I look like a fool… But when I don’t say hi they notice me and I look like an asshole LIKE WHAT DO YALL WANT FROM MEEE. Also what if they judge my appearance or something idk what if they catch me in my ugliest form, no makeup, leggings, weird oversized top, and shitty hair LIKEE… do people want conversation during their shopping? Pumping gas? Working out??

I’m running out of whatever more comes to mind. Also bc my hands are cramping with how I’m holding my phone rn.. it’s 1:59 am currently so I should prolly dip

Maybe I’ll write again later????? In life?? Highly doubt it ¿?

[catboyshinsou]

sick headcanons!

anon request: i love your writing smmm !! 🥺 can i request mha sick hcs where they take care of the reader when they don’t feel well 🥺 you choose who !! <3333

a/n: sorry it took so long <//3

pairings: Kaminari, Kirishima, Tokoyami and Monoma x sick,g/n!reader

warnings: none rlly, mention of throwing up in monoma, slight manga spoilers

can be seen platonically and romantically <3

kaminari:

Tbh i think he’d be quite Useless

Just rlly panicky n stuff bc what the fuck does one do with a sick person???

*walks into your dorm* “hey y-n wanna- WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE”

*you in a blanket and not having enough energy to be offended* “i think i’m dying” “y/n WHAT”

He’d try his best regardless tho

He goes to sato and helps with doing something soothing and welcoming

On his way back to your dorm he passes aizawa and tells him you’re sick in THE worst way

“Oh yeah Aizawa-sensei, y/n is dying-” “THEY’RE WHAT”

Kami would definitely storm into the room with him and be just as worried

What if it was something really serious??? Like the plague?????

They find you just laying in bed, sniffling and groaning

Turns out it wasn’t the plague and just a bad flu

Flu with its whole jazz, you had a fever of 38C and you could barely move

Aizawa got you excused from classes for about a week and left again

Kami just stood there with his soup and went “oh thank god you're not dying”

like i said i think he'd be useless but try his best

he checks up on you every half hour either in person or via text during classes

he brings you stuff like blankets and foods even though you can't taste any of them or have any type of appetite

but! thanks to the fridge in your room you just had snacks for about… forever

he gave you extra attention too

sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and talk about his day and theories while you just laid under your blanket

you appreciated it though

except for aizawa, sato and tsuyu nobody came over and even they just came in every few hours

kami stayed for hours on end and even tried to convince aizawa to let him sleep over so he could “watch over you” incase you “stopped breathing”

it's not like you slept much when he was around anyway, nights were not ideal for a good rest on a sick day

it was endearing seeing him lay on a futon on the floor and poking you when he had to get up for class

he leaves notes and stuff to make sure you didn't get worried

did he do anything to make you feel better physically? not rlly

did he lift your spirits and make you feel less lonely? most definitely

kirishima:

hear me out

this boy is an angel when it comes to caring for people

when he got into the whole essentially self care stuff he also knows what's best for others

he was probably one of the first to notice you being ~off your game~

whether in class or just yknow vibing, he'd tap your shoulder and softly “you okay man?”

he calls everyone dude and man and bro no matter gender or anything he's just that into the manliness stuff

and yes he puts you in essentially self isolation more for yourself than for others

“your body needs to rest y/n! can't properly get better if everyone keeps bothering you!”

he calls you every night tho and he has aizawa bring you stuff when he checks up on you (he's allowed because he's the teacher ofc also as long you're a UA student like one of your legal guardians which is like a dad and dads can see their kids sick right?)

stuff ranges from just bowls of soup to compresses to the handmade ointment against a sore throat to like socks he knitted or something his parents sent in bc he told them you were sick

yes this boy tells his parents you're sick

i mean someone probably told yours but like twice the parents means twice the comfort!

alternatively if your parents are *cough* he'd tell his parents and put you on the phone with them because everyone needs some parental love from time to time (don't act tough about it, he's gonna make you cry and tell you how manly you are for doing so)

when you're back on your feet he probably still treats you like you're about to fall over for like two or three days more

he praises you for how well you did during your essential quarantine and when you say you didn't do anything he says some cheesy stuff about manliness

“bro i'm so proud of you for getting through it!” “i didn't do anything kiri-” “don't say that! it takes so much energy and manliness to keep in self isolation and get better, you did amazing”

tokoyami:

i love birds

also look at baby toko he's so cute

do birds get sick?

anyways

tokoyami is like.. helpful but tries to be undercover about it

he's not gonna ignore you or anything

he's the type to like silently nudge teachers into your area so they could see you were clearly sick and send you back to the dorms to rest

but he'd never actually ask you or tell anyone

it would ruin his whole ~vibe~

dark shadow tells him to tell someone and he rlly does especially if he sees you struggling through it in class but he's also just not great at talking with people so a nudge or “secret note” will have to do

it does work, you're in your dorm right before combat training because mic had sent you up and excused you

mic is sweet he said he'd send aizawa up when he finds him but that you should rest

he also tells you that you have some really attentive friends

you're at this point just letting the sickness take over you so you have no idea what he just said (you heard him but the words just didn't register in your brain)

you get into bed and the first thing you do is sleep through afternoon classes

tokoyami is only at 50% today and so is dark shadow

tokoyami swears he isn't worried, the teachers are capable of taking care of you in an appropriate manner so that you will recover in no time

dark shadow on the other hand is all gittery and doesn't wanna focus on anything but you

off topic but i just think dark shadow is tokoyamis way of showing emotions or well like… like his internal thoughts? not like his internal dialogue but ya know his feelings

so he can act all goth and dramatic but dark shadow is a good way of still giving some of his feelings an output

back to you

so training is over and so is your nap

but you wake up to pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and more pillows surrounding you

half of them weren't yours either

they laid around you like some kind of pillow fortress jusy surrounding you and making sure you didn't hit your head on the wall or fall from the bed

it kinda felt like a nest- oh

you tried getting up, your head almost immediately flinging uoh back into bed but you needed to see if a certain someone would come back in to build the nest

“dark shadow, be quiet we don't want them to w- oh you're up”

tokoyami came in with more stuffies and an extra blanket like it was a siberian winter and your rooms only source of warmth was an almost dying candle

“are those yours?” you asked half asleep, your head absolutely booming

you could barely keep your eyes open, that's how exhausted you were but you made an effort to smile at the bird and his shadow

“uh no, yaomomo-san insisted on making some blankets for you and hagakure-san, ashido-san and uraraka-san gave me all their stuffed animals when they heard i was paying you a visit-” “but the blue star blanket and teardrop pillow are from fumi!! he brought them from home because he can't sleep without them!!” “DARK SHADOW!”

you only chuckled before breaking out in a cough again

aizawa came in some time after and had a hard time finding you under all the blankets and stuffies and even offered to tell the class to stop bothering you

but you just laid there all cozy and told him to let them be

“it's how he shows affection, it's nice”

monoma:

oh so the 1A student got sick??? huh??? I thought 1A was invincible hUUUUUUH??? *manic laughter*

coughs

anyways

so basically the two hero courses are more “in tune” after the joint training

they often have dinners together and it isn't rare to see kendo come over with monoma and tetsu^4

she came over to hang with the girls and tetsu had training sessions with kiri

nobody rlly knew why monoma tagged along though

all he did was spout about how average everything is for the “superior hero course”

he did secretly like the classes growing together more though

he'd sit on the couch with you and occasionally laugh about something else other than his team beating yours during joint training

one day he came in and didn't see you at your usual spot

“ehhhh??? where's the only tolerable person in this course??”

used to his lowkey insults deku pointed you out at the dinner table, head resting on your hand and looking over some homework

“y/n what are you- oh my god you look horrible”

“thanks monoma, you're as nice as ever”

your face was drained of any colour, eyes heavy lidded and you could barely control the pen that scribbled over the paper

he tried grabbing your wrist but pulled back immediately

you were way too hot and the fact that he noticed by grabbing your wrist meant that it was more than just a high fever

“is 1A that incompetent that they couldnt even notice their classmate falling sick??? can you guys do anything but trouble???”

“shut up monoma, we tried getting them to bed but they insisted on finishing up first and there's nothing in the world that can get y/n away from what they've put their head to”, kaminari yelled from the living room space

how were you gonna get anything finished if your head was falling off your shoulders if you didn't hold it up

class 1A really was incompetent

“sato-san, give me a hand”

sato, who was currently cooking up dinner, just held out his hand and some type of chocolate bar which monoma grabbed and ate up

“this is incredibly sweet, i don't know how you do it”

it's become like half a routine for monoma to copy quirks for whatever reason

kiri and tetsu used it to determine which quirk was handier

uraraka’s quirk made cleaning up after a game night easier

it was training for all of them

monoma could train his copy and the others could measure how much they've grown from his reaction to it

anyways

sato’s quirk kicked in and he lifted you up over his shoulder

“monoma!” you could barely lift your voice, faintly kicking

before you knew it he placed you on your bed in your dorm and sighed

“you're lighter than i thought”

“i think i'm gonna throw up”

so you hurled into your garbage can

monoma held back whatever there was to hold back

(he was very much disgusted but even he knew that this wasn't the time to let any type of negative emotion show)

“jolly gees y/n, what did you have for breakfast?!”

you laid in bed as he passed you a water bottle

“you need to drink something, you lost a lot of water”

“awe caring for me, monoma?”

“this is for general health, y/n. i would never as much as care for anyone, especially not a brat from 1A. who even knew that any of you could fall sick huh?! weren't you supposed to be superior to the rest of us??!”

he said all of that while putting a blanket on you and opening the window for fresh air

“god you 1A fools really are incompetent!”

he went into your bathroom and soaked a small towel in water

“i'm only doing this so you don't infect anyone. god you could cause an epidemic at UA and in the end 1b would fall victim to you as well! this is all just for the general well-being!”

you didn't even hear what he was saying anymore

with a half empty bottle next to your head, you slept peacefully

monoma let out a deep breath when he saw you

“i'd never care for anyone in 1A, i'm better than that…”

he whispered those words to himself

(he did care)

[sadgirlindiemusic]

Check in tag! Got tagged by @isitizyesitis, ahh thank you for the tag!!

Under the cut to save a dash. :)

Why did you choose your url?

Bc it was available? Actually I think because I’d just seen a “what your favorite sad girl indie musician says about you” tiktok and it was fresh in my mind when I picked my url. (My favorite is most of them, I don’t know what that says about me.)

Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

none!

How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since March. I had a tumblr in the 2010-2014 range but I deactivated it long long ago.

Do you have a queue tag?

Noo I’m lazy and not creative and I just use #queue.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Bc I needed a fandom outlet so I could stop going through the mortifying ordeal of trying to get irl friends into the thing I’m currently fixated on so I have people to talk about it with and then they either never finish reading/watching/playing it, or they finish it and think it’s fine but don’t have much to say about it.

And since I don’t love twitter and I'm interested in fic/analysis/headcanons tumblr seemed like the place to be.

Why did you choose your icon?

It’s a picture I took that I was going to replace with something else eventually but just... never did. And anyway, I like the picture.

Why did you choose your header?

I don’t think I ever put one up! I use mobile 99% of the time.

How many mutuals do you have?

16, just counted lol.

How many followers do you have?

31. My blog is a baby.

How many people do you follow?

60

Have you ever made a shit post?

How dumb does a post have to be to count as a shit post?? Probably yes.

How often do you use tumblr each day?

It varies... sometimes not at all, sometimes when I have meetings that I don't need to participate in much I scroll for actual hours. Thanks pandemic work from home.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Nope.

How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

“Well now I am not going to do it.”

Do you like tag games?

Sure! Although I feel like the questions can be repetitive.

Do you like ask games?

Yep! But I don’t play them that often.

Which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

None of them? A few of them get a lot of anons which makes them seem tumblr famous to me tho lol.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have a friend crush on all of my mutuals, you are all very lovely.

I tag... @washingtonleagueoffurries, @see-you-around-kiddo (if you guys haven’t done it yet and want to ofc) and anyone else who would like to. :)

[prcphetess]

greetings ladies, theydies, n gaydies !  it’s officially pride month / my birth month which means my power and chaos are both at their absolute highest so i apologize in advance :/  ANYWAY i’m hannah, i’m twenty but only for a couple more weeks, i’m kickin it in the est, n i use she/her pronouns !  now onto what you’re all here for ...

enter LOURDES CLEMONTE .

her app / bio are kind of Wild Rides but if ur in the business of reading i did send her app in the discord server n i also have Just her bio linked on her navigation tab as well as a stats page !! but i’ll try my best to summarize all the important stuff here !

also before we get started .. a quick TW for child loss, non-descriptive mentions of grooming, sexual harassment/assault, abuse, car crashes, n death and i THINK that’s everything

HISTORY.

it all started w her dad .. leopold clemonte.. in summary: fuck that guy !

he’s a hot shot author turned movie writer man but in order to gain all of his success he had to make a series of shady deals w none other than our petty king apollo

deal #1 was the life of her twin brother :(

deal #2 was her mother’s sanity aka she became like.. a ghost essentially who no longer speaks or interacts w anyone it’s very sad

deal #3 was meant to be lourdes 

now to backtrack a minute, our girl lou went to school to become a playwright bc her whole life she was desperate to make herself seem worthy to her father n unfortunately leopold knew this and used it to his advantage when apollo demanded he pay off his debt

leopold essentially groomed her to please apollo and promised that she would have a hand in his business forever if she could do tht so she was like okay :)

until .. apollo’s price got too high... u know... n she dared to say no and for that she was Punished

aka cursed

but more about that later

anyway bc she royally pissed off apollo by rejecting him, leopold ALSO lost all his help in being famous and had to turn to a famously wealthy family in california known as the grimaldis 

in order to get them to fund him, he forced lourdes to marry their son brooks who was Not A Nice Man 

2 years into their marriage brooks died in a car accident tht lou Might have caused.. for legal reasons i can neither confirm nor deny whether tht happened but the police didn’t charge her so do with tht what you will 

but she kind of went on the run anyway bc post-curse her doctors were like “nah this bitch is straight up crazy” and she knew her dad wasnt gonna b happy with her for another deal going sour so .. she ran !  and she’s kinda been hotel hopping between towns for the last 3 years trying her best not to interact w anyone !

CURSE.

lou’s curse is all abt prophecy baby !

okay so basically she can see the future of things/objects via touching them which was a whole big symbolic thing in the app bc she “deceived” apollo w her hands .. idk man here’s the line from the bio tht says it best

he  binds  her  wrists  and  says  because  it  was  your  hands  you  used  to  lie ,  now  your  hands  will  see  the  truth  as  he  renders  her  incapable  of  touching  anything  or  anyone  without  foreseeing  an  imminent  doom .  you  will  see  but  never  be  seen ,  he  says .  you  will  hear  but  never  be  heard .

ofc in true cassandra style, if she tries to talk to anyone abt her curse ever it’s like the earth swallowed her whole.. nobody can hear her.. nobody can see her.. nothing.. 

she also has absolutely no idea how to control it at all so like sometimes they’re very vivid images of something going to happen sometimes theyre more like bad feelings abt things .. it’s like a fun game where she never knows whats gonna happen and the prophecies ruin her life !

another quote bc im too lazy to resummarize things

the  general  rule  of  thumb ,  however ,  is  that  the  smaller  the  vision ,  the  easier  it  is  to  see  clearly .  small - scale  or  individual  prophecies  —  like  her  university  president  having  a  heart  attack  —  are  generally  more  easy  to  distinguish .  in  comparison ,  the  years  of  anguish  that  brooks  would  later  cause  her  were  much  harder  to  pin  down  and  presented  themselves  more  as  a  more  general  sense  of  danger .

 the only way she can stop it is with a literal.. physical barrier so she sometimes wears gloves but she can only have them on for a small amount of time before her body starts to reject it and make her Physically Unwell so she has to pick n choose man its unfortunate

EXTRA INFO.

man homegirl is Lonely.. big time... she’s just been avoiding human contact for such a long time she’s ALONE !

she has 2 major scars from the car accident, one on her left cheek from the windshield and one down her right shoulder/bicep from the window and both are very much noticeable :(

she very much loves this small town feeling bc she loves to b invisible and it’s so easy to in sleepy nowhere towns like this

she lives off the database property in like .. a tiny run down house that she’s putting all her time and energy into fixing up n she likes it a lot bc she hasnt had a home of her own in a long time

she also has a black cat named ernest, named after the play the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde

she’s also been working on a PLAY for the last few years, it’s a greek-esque tragic “romance” between the sun and the moon, where the sun is based on apollo and the moon is based on her and it does end with the sun realizing tht the moon is the only person w the power to eclipse him and extinguish him so get fucked apollo !

also speaking of writing she writes a letter home to her mom once every couple of months even tho like .. she can’t really read.. it’s very sad, lou is very sad, thank u for listening

ok this is already like .. stupid long.. so im gonna call it a day WHEW but thank u for reading n i think i’ve honestly already plotted w most of u but feel free 2 like this anyway n i’ll either slide into ur dms either to plot or just to say hey KSDJFSK :)

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[yournextdoorwriter]

winner as boyfriends | JINWOO

a/n: other members coming up, so stay tuned! :)

- dating him is lowkey frustrating cause how?? can?? you have a boyfriend?? who’s prettier than you????

- you best believe you guys will have skin care dates like putting on face masks to each other and going to myeongdong to shop for toners, moisturisers, essence, sunscreens... JUST EVERYTHING THAT WILL HELP HIM MAINTAIN HIS CLEAR SKIN

- i mean it’d be like... “jinwoo i don’t need to put sunscreen its winter and the sun isn’t even out”

- “and so??? snow doubles your exposure to UVA rays, now get back here and let me finish applying it to your face”

- “how the f- do u even know that??”

- also: BEACH DATES

- he ain’t called the prince of imjado for nothing!!!

- if you’re not good in swimming, rest assured cause this guy will teach you!!

- and if you are, then get ready for a battle to see who’s faster

- and ofc he’ll be better he practically started swimming maybe at the age of 1???

- and yeah that might be an exaggeration but THE POINT IS HE’D KICK YOUR ASS

- but he’d lowkey let you win

- because your smile whenever you beat him is just 10000x brighter than the sun and it makes jinwoo melt and his heart hurts and damn he can lose every.damn.time if he gets to see you smile like that!!!!!!

- jinwoo is the oldest in winner so most people think he’s like super mature and all that

- but nah, he’s childish too and likes to goof around <333

- but he’d rather show that side of him to people’s he’s comfortable w/ like the members and you :D

- and hear me out: jinwoo singing to you!!!!!!

- yes, you’ll take every opportunity to ask him to sing for you because his singing voice is just?????

- its so relaxing, its beautiful, its soothing, and when he just woke up but he still sings for you?? His deep, hoarse voice????? OH DEAR LAWD

- and there are times when he gets insecure cuz he doesn’t have strong vocals like yoon

- but you always reassure him that’s he’s talented & you’d choose to hear him sing over anyone every day

- And you mean it <3

- i mean?? you woke up from a nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep?

- the only thing that can calm you down is jinwoo singing you your fave song

- and u guys don’t necessarily have to be together for it to happen

- he’ll sing to you over the phone when he’s away from a tour even tho he’s dead tired

- one day he surprises you and secretly records a voice record of him singing in ur phone

- and he sends you a text saying “i left a little something for you, so you don’t have to listen to anybody else singing when you can’t sleep and you can’t reach me”

- AND LOL HIS TEXT SOUNDS COCKY BUT HIS SENTIMENT IS SO SWEET!!!!!!!!

- and you swear to God if anybody tries to say something bad abt this man you’ll throw hands

- because jinwoo is the most kind hearted person on earth

- and he’s like so INNOCENT

- SO. INNOCENT. or maybe not but the thing is he’s slow when it comes to some... things

- like the first time you slept over and you guys were watching a movie

- and you were like, “babe can we turn off the tv and just go to bed now?”

- and he’s like “but its only 10pm”

- “i know, so let’s go to bed and?????”

- you leave the sentence unfinished to see if he’s gonna get what you mean but he just looks at you with his wide deer eyes

- “for pete’s sake jinwoo lets make out”

- “OH-“

- makeout sesh with jinwoo always starts slow like he’s always careful with his touches bc he doesn’t wanna do anything ur uncomfortable with

- but once you give him a go signal THEN OH BOIIII you’re in for a treat

- it’s like there’s a switch inside of him that will make him like a diff person in bed

- like his kisses will turn rough and there’d be biting and all + his hands will start roaming all around your body and the next thing you know his body is on top of you grinding-

- and ok you get what i mean

- the point is, jinwoo can turn into “hello sir nice to meet you” to “your daughter calls me daddy to” in 0.15351 seconds

- in a nutshell, dating jinwoo is the best because its like you have a bff and boyfriend at the same time

- he takes care of your skin more than you do and you can tell him about gossip abt work/school and he’d be 100% engrossed to ur story

- you’d text him like “BABE GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TODAY!!!”

- and he’s like “omg did kim already broke up with her bf, cause im telling you that guy’s a mess..”

- and yes jinwoo might be prettier than u, but for him you’re the most beautiful girl in the world and that’s all that matters :) :) :)

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

[astralgloss]

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry 

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat​‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims​ @imvikai​ @ridgeport​ @cowplant-pizza​ @bloomlet​ @tiptoptab​

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies​

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

no

89: Gotten pregnant?

no

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

[bound-forthestars]

tag game bc I’m a loser!!1!

tagged by: annnnn 💜

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

tagging: shit i know a whole two people on this site ((that’s what I get for being inactive and not acc putting effort into my blog rip)) but here we go: @0andthatsthat0 @thebroketraveller

last:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my parents called me from upstairs bc they were to lazy to come to the basement to talk to me ((which is a Mood))

3. text message: annnnnn

4. song I listened to: sunset by kim donghan

5. time i cried: i nearly cried finishing dai does that count

6. dated someone twice: god I wish someone would date me at all man

7. kissed someone and regretted it: it was kindergarten. we were in daycare. I kissed him on the cheek.

8. been cheated on: can’t get cheated on if you don’t date anyone amiright

9. lost someone special: prob last year I guess

10. been depressed: bitch I literally am depressed

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i gagged on champagne at New Years does that count

favorite colors:

12. pinkkk

13. orange I guess but like peachy pastel orange

14. yellow

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: hell Yeah so many

16. fallen out of love: haven’t been in love so

17. laughed while you cried: multiple times

18. found out someone was talking abt you: yeeet definitely

19. met someone who changed you: not rly

20. found out who your friends are: oh def I nearly got surgery and was in the hospital and texted a group of my friends like “hey guess who’s in the hospital and missing term exams” and more than half of them left me on read rip and the rest of the year was downhill from there on

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends: no,,,

general:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: no Facebook

23. do you have any pets: a dog

24. do you want to change your name: nope

25. what did you do for your last birthday: fuck I don’t even remember uhh idk

26. what time did you wake up today: ~11:30

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: writing

28. what is smth you can’t wait for: idk futures seeming pretty bleak rn

29. what are you listening to rn: night call by kim donghan

30. when was the last time you saw your mom: midnight

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean maybe one requested go follow my insta once

32. something that gets on your nerves: the fact that da4 doesn’t even have a release date yet smh

33. most visited website: on my phone it’s probably gamepress for fire emblem heroes tbh

34. hair colour: dark brown

35. long or short hair: longish

36. do you have a crush on someone: i have so many crushes but I would sooner die than talk abt them

37. what do you like abt yourself: my work ethic i guess

38. want any piercing: !!! I wanna get doubles and a helix this summer

39. blood type: idk

40. nicknames: jord i guess??

41. relationship status: super single

42. zodiac: Aries

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: b99 ofc and i rly like new girl and queer eye rn

45. tattoos: nah

46. right or left handed: rivht

47. ever had surgery: getting my wisdoms teeth out tomorrow :-)

48. piercings: used to have my ears pierced but they grew over

49. sport: MY ENTIRE LIFE IS LITERALLY BASKETBALL ((I play volleyball, badminton and some others too)

50. vacation: i hit up Jasper for a training camp awhile ago

51. trainers: ????

more general:

52. eating: ????

53. drinking: ???????

54. I’m about to watch: more queer eye probably

55. waiting for: someone to like me back it’s been 87 years

56. want: validation and attention

57. get married: one day hopefully

58. career: astrophysicist, astronaut, or maybe even a professional basketball player (unlikely but hey maybe I’ll take it to college or uni)

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: never been kissed but either is good thanks

60. lips or eyes: eyessss

61. shorter or taller: im assuming this is for an s.o so if it’s a dude definitely taller

62. older or younger: if this is dating too I guess slightly older but not weirdly older yknow

63. nice arms or stomach: don’t,,, make me choose ((arms tho))

64. hookup or relationship: relationship I guess??

65. troublemaker or hesitant: ???? what kinda choice is this

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger: nope

67. drank hard liquor: small amounts ((it was nasty don’t recommend)

68. lost glasses: I don’t have them but if I did i would lose them

69. turned someone down: i rejected a marriage proposal in kindergarten

70. sex on a first date: never had either

71. broken someone’s heart: idk maybe that dude from kindergarten’s

72. had your heart broken: by myself

73. been arrested: nope

74. cried when someone died: who hasn’t???

75. fallen for a friend: not yet

do you believe in:

76. yourself: that dumb bitch?? lmaooo

77. miracles: i mean my little brothers alive so yeet

78. love at first sight: attraction?? definitely. love??? not likely.

79. santa clause: used to

80. kiss on first date: hell yeah 81. angels: who knows

other:

82. best friends name: annnnnn and tasha

83. eye colour: brown

84. fave movie: stand by me

85. fave actor: nic cage (“hey guys who’s my favorite actor??”)

[ohoshi]

yess the part where johnny bumped into taeyong was cool!! ty looks so cool while performing gosh 😌 i think ive watched that nct u class performance so many times by now, im still not over it for some reason hahaha

OMG I KNOW XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT!! YES!! honestly im so glad that during nct 2020 a lot of the wayv members got to show their skills and how theyve improved (like xiaojun, hendery, yangyang) and i hope this keeps going (i feel like winwin esp couldve been showcased more? maybe it's hard with soo many members and i dont wanna be *that* fan...but he was the leader of the 90s love unit and had like 2 lines lol)

omg yes shotaro!! you never couldve known he debuted just 2 MONTHS AGO but i agree even in maw u can tell that the boy got moves! i feel so proud of him and hes so cute 😊 i agree, sign me up too for the idols who have such duality!! they were all so good (as expected)!!

WAIT LMAO SO SORRY i just fact checked myself and haikyuu actually has 4 seasons 😂 😅 there was like a 4 year gap between s3 and s4 so i think i felt like it was 2 seasons lmaoo. lately i have been more okay watching ongoing shows bc it gives me something to look forward to every week! but i usually do binge shows, which is why im a little sad that the uncanny counter is ongoing so i am forced to wait 😭 i must say though my binging skills are amazing...my one talent in life 🤣

her private life is another fake relationship kdrama (the main girl character is a fangirl and she runs a blog for her bias ahaha relatable??), and i think crash landing on you has some fake relationship things?? obviously it's not the main focus of the drama but crash landing is iconic u gotta watch, be prepared to cry tho if you get emotional watching these things like me 😭 because this is my first life was also good (i've heard some ppl get frustrated by the main guy character's lack of emotion though but i liked the writing and it's worth giving it a shot if you want!) i love the fake relationship and the enemies to lovers tropes, so if you come across any that are good pls let me know hehe

SVT yes that part in home where they choreographed like a house imagery with their hands was so cool!! the choreo is just so detailed (like i think there was a part that looked like they were opening a door bc it's "home"), i had heard svt is self produced and thats so amazing! theyre so talented and their performances are so good (the ones i've seen so far). i watched their mafia dance video for left and right and it was so FUNNY HAHAHAA they seem so chaotic i love it (also i love the mafia dances in general lol like nct dream did it for we go up). i'm going to try to learn svt's names (which i usually do by just watching crack videos about the group on youtube lmao) so stay tuned 👀 coming from nct, 13 members doesnt even seem like a lot to me anymore hahaha and i think im usually good with names so we'll see! i am also curious to see if i end up stanning dino :)) who are your svt biases??

haha yes i can understand xj/hn/lc without subtitles!! it's interesting because i think all 3 of them are from different places so their canto actually sounds a bit different from each other! but when i hear wayv speaking canto it feels so familiar bc i really only speak cantonese with my family, and it's such a weird but also good feeling and it makes me feel warm :) wayv is the unit that feels like ur close friends (whereas dreamies have best chemistry and i think i like 127’s music most? (but ofc i do actually like all the units songs hahah))

🥺yeah me too! i’m glad wayv members became more relevant thanks to nct 2020! honestly they are soooo good and they deserve all the attention! and winwin 💔 honestly i’m so happy he is in wayv now where he is being appreciated more! where he gets the lines and screentime! he deserves it 😤 of course you’re gonna be *that* fan! we’re all *that* fan 😤 the leader of the unit got 2 lines 😤 smh 😤

omg 4 year gap???? that’s a lot 😳 what for?? i guess the 4 year gap is the reason the show is still airing after all these years lmao when i saw gifs on my dash my reaction was wtf when did haikyuu become one piece what have i missed and then i googled and saw that the anime has 80+ episodes????? ABOUT VOLLEYBALL???? 😳 WILD

ohhh i see you have something to look forward to hmm that makes sense? maybe i should try it, especially since it’s most likely not as consuming as binge watching!! but yeah same, binge watching tv shows is one of my talents 😏

her private life is about a girl who runs a blog about her bias? there’s a whole kdrama about me? are you kidding me rn? never knew someone would be inspired by me or us for that matter? since we’re both just two little human beings running a blog about their biases<3 OMGGGG when am i gonna get the time to watch all of these drama 😭 hopefully really soon, but knowing how busy my college life can be (and esp rn) probs not 🤕 if i ever come across any drama that you haven’t watched already i will most likely recommend it to you!!!!

AHDGAGHFSDGH i love when idols play mafia game of any kind and i think that svt’s left and right is my favorite mafia dance ajfdshgadfshga they’re so chaotic and funny and omg vernon was so good tho?????? 😳 i was impressed bc i could never lie so well ahgdfags yeah it’s not that hard to remember all 13 of them especially because all of them are so different (i mean all of the members in all of the groups are always so different but ajdsgakja for whatever reason svt to me seemed the most uhhh versatile from the others?? like for example woozi is so smol it’s easy to remember him, and then seungkwan is the loud one, and then mingyu and jeonghan are pretty ones, joshua the charming one, sweet one, my biases are the best<3 etc but i mean THIS COULD BE JUST ME AJDGAJSH maybe i’m just too biased bc i love them so much sigh) anyways,,,,,, there’s a lot of ICONIC SVT CONTENT SO  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welcome we have cookies, relax and enjoy yourself, the ride to being 500% whipped for svt begins right here, i recommend to you their pot and hammer game bc i love to watch when idols play it and svt? CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS! 

OK MY SVT BIASES 🥺 ok first of all here’s a digression: usually when i get into a kpop group i have like 3 different positions, 1) love at first sight - which is the person who i’m attracted to right from the second?? like the first person i see and i’m like oh //they// kinda like the way you’re attracted to dino’s dancing and stuff; 2) first bias - which is the person i just pick for whatever reason //ok they’re gonna be my bias//; 3) the actual bias - after watching a lot of content and listening to the music and getting to know the group in general i then choose //THE BIAS// or rather the bias chooses me bc it’s out of my control i just love them whoever they are! and with svt 🥺 all of the 3 were one guy (the only other time this happened to me is w nct dream lmao) 🥺 and i love him so much! one and only: xu minghao! (aka the8) 🥰 he’s one of the lead dancers and 1/2 china line in svt and he can sing! he can rap! and boy can he dance 😭 i just 🥺 love him 🥺 my other svt bias (whom, tbh, i don’t love nearly as much as i love minghao but i still love him very much<3) is wen junhui! (aka jun) 🥰 he is the other lead dancer and 2/2 china line in svt (this is random: but i really love china line in kpop??? like idek why? i mean of course i don’t care about their nationality or whatever but i’ve just noticed that for whatever reason the ones i tend to love and bias are more often than not chinese) and i know i know you asked ‘hey cora who are your svt biases??’ and everything i was supposed to say was ‘hey santa it’s the8 and jun!’ but no i had to be EXTRA bc guess what? well I AM EXTRA!!! bc i got excited i really love them 😭 (esp minghao<3 lately he’s been my ultimate bias so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RN? you can understand them without titles? lucky!!!!!! but the fact that it feels familiar and it makes you feel warm<3 is so precious<3 so cute!! so wayv feels like home? 🥺 bc you only speak cantonese with your family? this is so 🥺 i’m not crying you’re crying 🥺 teach me something in cantonese?? like?? actually, first tell me is it too different from mandarin??? and then teach me something? how do i say i love you? or hi and bye lmao and thank you? yk the basics! and i mean of course that we all love all units songs i mean!! we’re here for all the mess those 23 boys give us but!! i think i’d be biased and pick nct dream’s music<3 but i love wayv and 127 so much as well 😭

[grammarkid]

can you rant about Jennifer's body plz? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on it

oh, my dude.. my dude, ur rly gonna regret asking me this. like, i legit wrote a paper on this film. i analyzed it for a month straight and did research. for ur own sake, i’m so sry. for everyone else, i’m gonna put it under a cut, bc.. it’s a lot.

ok, i just want to preface this by saying that i know that the movie is objectively just bad. tbh, the writing is terrible, and diablo cody? thought she could tap into the hip cool teen lingo™️? but she was rly just pulling words out of her ass, so i always get torn between finding the dialogue laughable and cringe-worthy.

but i love the movie to death and i actually got the chance to write a big paper about it in college. long story short, i took this english/social studies class that was all about monsters – vampires, werewolves, zombies, cyborgs, etc. – and how they were representations of society’s fear of those who transgress social norms. so, basically we spent an entire semester studying ‘monster culture,’ a way of reading texts that parses the social anxieties from within their monster stories, bc the word ‘monster’ comes from the latin ‘monstrum,’ which literally means “that which reveals or warns.” so in monster theory, a monster always signifies something other than itself. & our final assignment was to analyze a monster film that we hadn’t discussed in class and explain the issues behind the film’s monster – but i won’t get into all that, bc that’s kind of a diff story.

but without going into all the social anxiety stuff about teenage sexuality, simply put, the film is an allegory for the ways in which sexuality and one’s self-esteem are intertwined. literally, jennifer gets turned into a demon, and the only way she can remain healthy and beautiful is to kill/feed off the guys at her school – but, rly, the story behind that is about jennifer’s insecurities. 

listen. jennifer slept with a lot of guys, even before she was transformed into a demon. needy said that jennifer lost her virginity in junior high. did u know that adolescents who have sex earlier are more likely to be depressed and to have issues with their self-esteem? (i told u, i did the research.) and teens with high levels of “sexual permissiveness” are often low in self-esteem in comparison to those who abstain. (no judgment at all, that’s just what the studies say. and let’s talk about the word ‘permissiveness’ here – it’s explicitly stated that jennifer’s already done anal. i’d say that’s permissive for a teenager.) and studies have also found that ppl who do participate in sex will often experience a temporary boost in self-esteem afterward, bc it makes them feel desirable – shocking!! 

so, ok, the point is, what jennifer does with boys after she becomes a demon is rly not that different from what she did with boys before she was a demon – she uses them to improve her self-image. (the only difference now being that she.. u know.. kinda eats them.) bc as confident and pretty as jennifer is, she has a lot of problems with her self-image. she’s peppy and vivacious whenever she looks pretty, but rude and mean when she feels ugly. & like, the biggest fuckin’ insult needy could use against her was that she was insecure?? literally nothing else that needy said had any effect on her, but she rly cracked when needy accused her of being insecure. i mean, she literally starts crying as she’s putting on her makeup for the winter formal bc she can see herself in the mirror and she’s ugly, and the only way she can fix that is to, u know, eat a guy – and it’s not just any guy, ok? she’s not just going around murdering the random 65y/o dude in the mcdonald’s drive-thru or the lady running the convenience store. they’re all young guys, around her age, who very obviously find her attractive. 

hmm. deteriorating demon eats boys who are attracted to her to regain beauty vs. human teenage girl with deteriorating self-worth and self-esteem sleeps with boys who are attracted to her to feel beautiful again. and uh let’s not forget that girls who regularly use guys are often called ‘man eaters.’ like, it literally could not be more obvious?? yet so many ppl i’ve talked to about it are oblivious.

but the thing that rly gets me about this movie? it’s the relationship between jen and needy. and i’m not just talking about the fact that they made out in bed for thirty seconds – although that does play a factor. i’m talking about how the film is rly an exploration of how these issues literally destroy their relationship.

bc jennifer is detrimentally obsessed with being pretty and popular and ‘socially relevant’ but she can’t let go of needy. needy even says that it’s to the point that kids at their school literally can’t understand why jen hangs out with her?? and i think that reason is pretty obvious.

like, ppl have their opinions, but i feel like there is clearly something between jennifer and needy beyond just friendship? jennifer is constantly sizing needy up, flirting with her, touching her, etc. jennifer even says that they used to play ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ when they were younger. like, idk, that doesn’t seem like something friends do to me?? & it definitely doesn’t seem like something needy would suggest. no, that had to have been jennifer’s idea. but why? bc she has feelings for needy. hint: jennifer didn’t go after anyone in the film other than ppl she could use to her advantage – she explicitly mentions wanting to sleep with ahmet, jonas is the quarterback so ofc sleeping with him would be a boost to her esteem, colin asked her out on a date despite her lackluster appearance, and she also mentioned finding chip attractive. (if she could get him to choose her despite his loyalty to needy, wouldn’t that be a rush? why do u think she was so adamant when she said ‘tell me i’m better than needy’??) she doesn’t even attempt to approach anyone else in that way except needy. immediately after jennifer’s transformation, she goes back to needy. she’s the first person jennifer thinks of, and the first person we see jennifer approach in that way. and the scene definitely isn’t lacking sexual tension?? but ultimately it just suggests that needy could, in fact, give jennifer the same thing she got from the boys – i would even go so far as to say that, as a whole, the film suggests that needy is the only one who could give her that – but she can’t bring herself to do it. she cares too much about her to hurt her, to use her like that, and she even admits that later in needy’s bedroom. she literally says “i couldn’t hurt you.”

like omg the real tragedy of the movie is that needy and jen are torn apart by their missed opportunities. they’re constantly reaching out for one another, but they’re never in sync. after jen’s transformation, needy tries to be there for her, asks her questions, wants to be sure she’s okay, but jen can’t let her in bc she can’t even cope with the truth herself. after she kills colin, jen goes to needy’s room and tells her what happened to her bc it’s taking its toll on her and she’s desperate for needy’s support and validation, but needy is already convinced that she’s evil and her aggressive questions make jennifer retract. and without needy, jennifer has nothing. that’s why she goes after chip, bc it will hurt needy the same way needy hurt her. & personally, i don’t think jennifer was ever truly attracted to chip – i think she was attracted to his loyalty. & she was jealous of needy’s relationship with him bc it was steady and respectful and jen had no way of obtaining that for herself. and at that point in the film, she’s got nothing left to lose. honestly, like, with the others? jen didn’t hesitate. she made out with them and tore them apart at the first available opportunity. with chip? she took him to the pool and they just.. fucking sat there?? she tells him “i feel so empty” and yea most ppl probably take that to mean that she’s hungry, but if she was starving, then she’d just have her way with chip and be done with it, wouldn’t she? but she didn’t want to. she feels empty bc it’s all catching up to her and she doesn’t even have needy to help her through it. needy pushed her away. 

which is why i personally think that jennifer looks her absolute worst in the final scene with needy in her bedroom. she fed a bit off chip, obv, bc it was enough to kill him, and enough to completely heal the giant gaping hole in her stomach – which she plainly says to needy only happens ‘when she’s full.’ and yet she’s still so ugly. her skin is pale and her eyes are yellow and bloodshot, why? bc her physical state is a literal representation of her self-image and she feels terrible about herself so she looks terrible. ok, another hint: immediately after jen dies? she’s beautiful again. you literally watch it happen. & yeah, bc the film is about demons and the occult, u could say that the demon left her body, blah blah, but i think she becomes beautiful again bc that’s what she looks like when it’s not being distorted through the lens of her own self-view. all her insecurities aren’t killing her anymore, bc there’s nothing left. (and, just one last note about this final scene. what allows needy to kill jen? she tears off her bff necklace. and then jen literally loses all her power. she falls out of midair. it’s like everything stops, bc she still wore the necklace, she was still holding on to needy, even tho needy pushed her away. that was the last thing holding her together and needy took that too. and i think, rly, that’s what ultimately killed her. sure, the boxcutter had something to do with it, but there’s a reason that moment took up so much screen time, why it had such an impact, whereas the knife going in and that stupid ass ‘my tit’ line were so rushed in comparison.)

ugh, gosh. ok, i rly need to stop now. all that is already all twisted up and it hardly makes any sense bc i was rushing. i could literally go on for days about this movie, but this has already taken up like an hour of my day?? and i’m sure no one has even read this far anyway. but yeah. i have a lot of feelings about jennifer’s body, because imo it’s rly a tragedy disguised as a horror film.

[sambashua]

questions tag

I was tagged by the cutest sweetheart @shinwrons​ aka my fave penta stan thanks for tagging me mariah:D

What are your five favorite songs from your bias group?

as most peeps well know, my bg is SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN and ugh i love all their songs so much this is a real struggle but i think Pretty U, Beautiful, NO F.U.N, Healing and Fronting are the ones I listen to most consistently ??? (this was my biggest struggle in my 19 years idk man i like all their songs listen to them all)

What are your five favorite songs (kpop) not from your bias group?

Well this is even more difficult but I’ll list some I’ve been listening to a lot recently bc I am super indecisive: Blackout by VIXX (bc i finally added it to my playlist thanks to cass), CAMO by BoA (dude this song is so good i’ve listened to it so much she is my queen), Running 2 U by NCT127 (ah this song is so lit by i wish it was longer tbh), Happy by WJSN (i go so hard to this song) and You Smile by ASTRO (this might be my favorite astro song ever idk i just love it so so much like i love baby a lot but 10/10 shoulda been their title imo)

(um okay so i can’t just put five bc i’m a ho so imma do another five girl groups and five boy groups and these are the ones i listen to a lot not just recently more like long-time faves idk) (also this is so much ya don’t gotta read this i just get eggcited abt music)

Why So Lonely by The Wonder Girls (this was one of my first favorite gg songs after mamamoo and hyuna and stuff so it holds a v special place in my hort and i used to watch the dance practice on repeat that whole summer lol i miss them now i’m crying), Like a Cat/Heart Attack by AOA (ugh i can’t choose between these songs i listen to both all the time i just love aoa and i hope choa rests well and gets better) (also have you seen the dp where they dance in cat onsies honestly iconic), Rollin’ by Brave Girls (the mv is trash but the dance is lit like how much thigh power do they possess i’ve tried and i can barely do it for one chorus like ?? but support them pls also deepened and yoohoo are jams ugh), Why by Taeyeon (aka the loml) and Free Somebody by Luna (aka the second loml) (oops also coloring book by oh my girl)

All In/Need U by Monsta X (i listen to these alllll the time), Heartbreaker by NCT 127 (AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH), Wake Me Up by B.A.P (jam of the century), Chained Up by VIXX (who doesn’t love this song tho) and Sherlock by SHINee (hoo hoo hoo what’s better than shinee’s back badadadadada)

What are your five favorite non-kpop songs?

I’ll just list my favorite song for my five favorite western artists! Falling by Florence & the Machine (but flo is my all time favorite artist ever and i love every single song she has ever released she is a musical genius), My Body Is a Cage by Arcade Fire, 4u by Blackbear, Woman by the 1975 and All You Are Is History by State Champs wait also My Brother Taught Me How to Swim by Passion Pit (ah i love all their songs so much) AH SHOOT also Still by The Japanese House okay that’s all~

Who is your bias and why do you like them?

hmmmm well idk abt you but i just hate jeon wonwoo what a gross nerd who reads a bunch o books and makes dumb puns and laughs unnecessarily hard at the pain of others and is generally very violent w skinship and can’t eat seafood and is wayyyy overconfident and always hides his hands if he’s wearing long sleeves and is generally very shy and introverted and is afraid of dogs and cried at me before you and thinks he’s the best gamer in the world and has the dorkiest,  most adorable smile where his nose crinkles up and wow how gross don’t like him at all idk what to say

What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”?

ahhh mariah i totally agree w you~~ my ‘style’ is just generally comfy lol usually i wear leggings and a t-shirt tbh but my job requires me to wear real pants rip so for work i usually wear jeans and an okay shirt ? my staple piece is long sleeve t-shirts tho i wear them all the time even in summer here it gets p hot but if i can i wear log sleeves and pants bc i’m crazy apparently. i like sweaters a lot too and jeans but idk i’m just so lazy when it comes to fashion help me

For your bias group, what was your favorite hair style/era for each member?

um this is illegal ugh okay 

scoops~ either nice era or last summer for kcon ny w his grey/silver hair i mean come onnnnn

hannie~ ummm his is difficult bc he’s def had the most range w his hair... but i’m gonna have to say pretty u era bc ?? i liked it so much but i feel like a lot of people didn’t?? he looks good w any hair tho tbh (also to clarify i do not mean the extensions bc those were low key cursed just his bob okay)

shua~ BISH IF YOU THINK I WOULDN’T SAY NICE ERA PEACH SHUA THEN YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND I DON’T KNOW YOU

jun~ okay i seem super nice era biased?? but surprisingly i really loved his blonde hair i thought the styling was good and the HEADBAND yes but also boom boom era was iconic bye

hosh~ well hosh legit always looks good rip but i think i really loved pretty u (all the hats were so blessed) and boom boom eras! his light hair for mansae and the light blue/silver were also frickin bomb af but i generally prefer dark hair~

wonu~ i think i talked abt this before but i reallyyyyyyyy loved pretty u/shining diamonds concert ugh also ofd1 (shoot i can’t find any pics but it was basically this but softer or award shows 2016 ah plz he always looks good tho and his hair rn is so good too ugh it’s like ofd reminiscent (i had 400 tabs open for this i h8 me self)

jihoon~ wow okay def nice era once again! damn i shoulda just say nice era for everyone and called it a day rip but also come on adore u era was everyone’s fave fight me HA FOUND A POST WHICH COMPARES THE ERAS WOW BLESSED

dokyumie~ my fave for him was for sureeee adore u era! normally i prefer bangs but seokmin is one of a few boys who i actually prefer his hair up ???

gyu~ as expected probably pretty u era! he just looked like such a soft puppy LIKE HE SHOULD!! but damn his black hair is so good too bye

hao~ he is always the cutest lbr but he looked incredibleee w his silver hair for highlight and also pretty u bc i am such a ho for brown hair why

boo~ honey blonde boo is such a blessing but he looked so cute for adore u too how it was styled up a bit AND ALSO MANSAE OR NICE W THE RED BROWN COLOR ICONIC AND ROSE QUARTZ BOO IT WAS TOO SHORT LIVED

bernonnie~ high key anything after mansae era destroys my life but i’ll say pretty u just bc he looked so young and cute ahjgka but i mean nice, boom boom and dwc are illegally good too so (look how softtttt)

chan~ p r e t t y u just bc that’s when my son started to grow up cry also his hair before that era was so endlessly tragic why pledis (boom boom was also v v good tho)

How did you “discover” kpop and how did you discover vixx?

okay i was like why vixx bc i didn’t realize someone else wrote this lol but kpop in general i found through youtubers yes yes and i was like wow dope then i only listened to bts for a couple months and here i am now (you can find a more detailed synopsis in basically any questions tag i’ve done if you haven’t seen it by now lol) BUT WOW VIXX HOW INTERESTING OKAY so i liked chained up and dynamite ya know back in the early days of my kpop career so like early 2016 i think then that spring/summer 2016 i was like okay i like bts and svt but i know there’s more out there *clenches fist* so i set out on the yt channel learnkpopnameswithme (?) and i saw vixx and was like wow cool i know a bit abt them and i watched a couple and i think i saw error and was like hollup this is too damn intense bye so i still listened to their music and stuff but i thought there were unattractive and i hated ken (I AM SO SORRY I LOVE HIM NOW IT’S OKAY) but i think when milky way mv came out i was like wow how good and pure! and then a month or two ago i really started watching more of them and their variety lol. but in conclusion i’ve known their names for forever but i was like not into them much haaaa sorry

What does your phone case look like?

it’s this sparkly grey case that’s half clear and looks like mountains/waves/granite/??? depending on who you ask but everyone asks me if it’s broken smh

Do you normally browse tumblr on your phone or on pc?

usually phone unless i’m already on my computer ?? or if i’m writing a post ? like i’m on my laptop now so

How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night?

doing greatttttt when i started writing this it was my birthday so i was like yay i have plans but now i kinda don’t lol rip

i’m only gonna tag people i’m close ish with?? bc i can’t come up w any different questions and these are p good! @king-hao @kyungminie @yooncheoly @atshinee @hoshi-ssi @jungnoir @moonhyook @s-lay-ing@everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking @honestlay ofc only do this if you want but i’d like to see your guy’s answers

[mercurialsmile]

Let's Talk Books and Blogging: 4, 6, 24, 34, 38 & 50! ^^

Is there a book that you think needs a bigger fandom??

Honestly I. Don’t really like fandoms so I am… kinda glad the books I really enjoy don’t have fandoms because it means there’s no one around to ruin the books for me XD 

So I guess… no not really. But if I had to choose a book, then the Unwind Dystology then. 

Can you ever stop in the middle of a page or do you have to finish the page or chapter first??

Honestly, I can do both. It matters on how tired I am. Usually I try and finish the page/chapter

tho funny thing- last week I took a particularly strong sleeping pill then attempted to read before it kicked in…

When I went to go pick that book up again, I had to go and reread the last 7 or so pages bc I did not remember ANYTHING that happened in them 

ignoring the fact that I am rereading this book ofc

Have you read a book that was really hyped up but you didn’t enjoy??

KJSDKSJDKSDHSJHDS A BOOK DON’T YOU MEAN P MUCH EVERY HYPED UP PIECE OF TRASH 

okay okay… let’s see….. Insurgent was fucking awful, and so was The Fault in our Stars (which I’ve already mentioned before so eh). The Blood of Olympus was soooo disappointing I’m still bitter on how it ended. I mean the entire series had it’s issues but at that point I couldn’t handle it. 

THE ENTIRE WARRIORS SERIES OMEN OF THE STARS OH MY GOD what even was that?! 

THAT BEING SAID nothing pissed me off more than Mockingjay. Oh no. Nothing beats Mockingjay. 

My middle school was a SLUT for the hunger games everyone was reading it. It was the most popular series. So when Mockingjay came out and our library got one copy, everyone was fighting to get on the list to check it out. 

I waited weeks for this stupid book. Weeks. I could not wait to read it. I was dying to find out what happened next.

Then. I get the book. I clearly remember getting the little note to pick it up while sitting in my fucking Texas History class (which, by the way, is literally the worst subject. All you guys who don’t live in Texas and aren’t forced to take Texas History should be grateful). 

Anyways, unlike the other two Hunger Games books, it took me forever to read Mockingjay because it was just so AWFUL.

And I mean. I was in like seventh grade or smth. I was a fan of the TWILIGHT books at this point in my life. I liked Catching Fire. My taste in books was bad and even then, I found Mockingjay to be a terrible bore. 

I was. So angry when I finished it. And I swore I would never read Hunger Games ever again and nor would I read anything by the same author. 

And guess what? I haven’t. I’m still mad. 

What do you do to mark your pages??

I used to dog-ear them tbh but now I use whatever I can find as a bookmark. Which sometimes is a real bookmark, other times its just random pieces of paper. Idk just anything I can find I guess. 

Favourite genre??

I am. Not so sure? I know the genres I dislike but honestly I can like books from almost every genre as long as said books are good. 

I guess paranormal. Second would be fantasy, as a lot of fantasy books are. Boring. and shit. 

At least high fantasy is. High fantasy is awful pretentious garbage and I’ve only ever been able to get through Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. And for the former, I watched the movies first and loved them, which was why I was determined to get through the book.

Also because my mom loves the series. 

But I haven’t picked it up since I was 13 and I don’t plan on it. 

Do you read classics?? If so, what’s your favourite??

…Does The Outsiders count as a classic? No?

I hate classics. They’re fucking AWFUL stories. 

I literally do not give a shit what sorta message a book has. I don’t read books for them to preach at me. I read them for the story and characters and classics have really awful both of those 9 times out of 10.

Like. Gonna be real honest most the classics I read in school I… didn’t technically read…. 

I got 9 pages into Fahrenheit 451 and stopped and never picked it up again. I hate The Crucible with all my heart and I honestly zoned out when we had to listen to it. 

Shakespeare is garbage too. Yeah he did a lot for writing and making up words and shit. But I don’t give a fuck. I dare someone look into my eyes and tell me Othello was good in any manner whatsoever. 

So… I am really trying to think while writing out how much I hate classics… I really am. 

OKAY I liked Lord of the Flies decently enough but I would never go to reread it. It was… okay. Considering in that class, the last assigned book to us was Fahrenheit 451, literally giving us anything would be better. 

OKAY I dunno if this counts as a classic, but I did enjoy reading Pygmalion. I was also like… the only person in my class who loved how it ended. Like god fuck you go girl. 

I remember we had to write an extended ending for Pygmalion and I loved how it ended so much that I wasn’t so sure how to write it. Well, I ended up building off of how it ended and my teacher thought what I wrote was interesting and I admitted to him that I liked the original ending so wasn’t so sure what to write. I also got an 100/100 on that project lmao.

Fanfiction was my homework that night. Beautiful. 

And uh not related to the question but related to the thing on classics- I’ve always wanted to read Dante’s Inferno and am still disappointed I never got to. I might get a copy online and try and read it sometime tho.

I went on really long tangents I’m sorry but! Thanks for the ask!

[artificialcats]

1 - 150

omg thanks answers under the cut bc this is going to b long

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

tbh dont even remember but ive never like, held hands w anyone ~romantically~ or w/e

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

SHY but i have my more outgoing moments every once in a while

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Quinn!!! and my other friends and my sister back home :-) and my cat

4. Are you easy to get along with?

uhh idk? i guess?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

tbh dont know 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

nice ones. cute ones. ones interested in the same stuff as me ?

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

my friend did a tarot reading for me a week ago and when i asked if id have a gf this year the answer was not good lmao so doubtful

8. Who from another gender is on your mind?

idk?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

im p indifferent

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

tbh my memory is garbage idk

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“signing tomorrow at 3:30″ cryptic out of context

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

the traveller- beach house (just walked to it in a fashion show! its good), boyfriend--best coast, sleepover--hayley kiyoko, forever (pt II)--snakehips, and a variety of tennis songs i cant choose from 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

ya

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

not particularly

15. What good thing happened this summer?

last summer i got to do a bunch of fun stuff w different friends! 

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ive never kissed anyone before LMAO (last “person” ive ever kissed was my cat on the head and ya id do that again)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I MEAN like the universe is so expansive theres no way theres NOT some other form of life out there 

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

lmao no 

19. Do you like bubble baths?

nah i dont like baths 

20. Do you like your neighbors?

at home yes (QUINN!!) and no (dont talk to anyone else) 

21. What are you bad habits?

nail picking, a lot of other stuff im too tired to list rn

22. Where would you like to travel?

would love to road trip it across the west

23. Do you have trust issues?

maybe? idk

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

moisturizing 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

tbh feeling p good abt my body rn.. maybe my shoulders.. ive always disliked how square they r..

26. What do you do when you wake up?

p much immediately get in the shower

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

never thought abt it

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my close friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i dont have any exes

30. Do you ever want to get married?

maybe someday but not for a loooong long time

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

no

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

im ace so like,, none of them 

33. Spell your name with your chin.

losauirtfsa

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

nope. used to play tennis tho

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

probably tv. love music too much

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

HA ofc living that life rn

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

uh probably nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

nice, supportive, is willing to dance around to/sing along w 70s/80s/2000s music w me 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

thrift stores probably.. never know what youre going to find

40. What do you want to do after high school?

well rn im in college and thats p much what i was going for in high school so 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nah

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

probably just that i dont feel like talking? or im tired

43. Do you smile at strangers?

usually

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space theres some whack stuff in the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

idk

46. What are you paranoid about?

a looot of things LMAO

47. Have you ever been high?

nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sometimes but usually just in like a ‘they look rlly cool’ or ‘i rlly like their style’ kind of way like just kind of envious

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

probably like, throwing my depression out the window

53. Favourite makeup brand?

dont wear makeup enough lmao

54. Favourite store?

tbh dont rlly have one also this is rlly similar to  previous question?

55. Favourite blog?

i love the househunting blog but idk if i rlly have a favorite

56. Favourite colour?

PINK

57. Favourite food? 

chicken bc theres so much good stuff u can do w it

58. Last thing you ate?

mini twix bar 

59. First thing you ate this morning?

eggs on toast

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yea won a couple different ones for art related stuff

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love? 

platonically ya romantically no i dont think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

a short one: never happened

65. Are you hungry right now?

no ive been snacking all night lol

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my tumblr friends p much are my rl friends so,, no

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

no

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

quinn

71. Craving something? What?

the sweet warm embrace of my bed

72. What colour are your towels?

one is pastel blue one is black/white/grey stripe

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yea. i have a big pusheen plush and at home a mini dino pillow pet n a cat plush

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like.. 3 i think? i used to have a L O T 

75. Favourite animal?

cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

once i had cardamom n it was rlly rlly good 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white w blue stripes

80. What colour pants?

jean overalls

81. Favourite tv show?

OOGH rn the getdown, stranger things, parks n rec, x files, downton abbey, charmed, a lot, 

82. Favourite movie?

jurassic park

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

neither

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

neither

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

dont have one

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

idk maybe nemo? never rlyl though abt it

87. First person you talked to today?

my mom

88. Last person you talked to today?

my sister

89. Name a person you hate?

idk

90. Name a person you love?

all my friends

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

not anyone i kno personally

92. In a fight with someone?

idk

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

like one pair and i never wear them lmao

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

a couple

95. Last movie you watched?

ella enchanted

96. Favourite actress?

no one comes to mind ?

97. Favourite actor?

idk jeff goldblum? 

98. Do you tan a lot?

no

99. Have any pets?

yes!! two cats

100. How are you feeling?

tired but ok

101. Do you type fast?

i think so yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

idk

103. Can you spell well?

im ok

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

kind of but i know we’re so different now we probably wouldnt even get along.. its not a miss i feel all the time tho more of a ‘we knew each other for so long its kind of sad we grew apart’

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i want to say yes but it wasnt like a party party

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

my homework 

109. Is something irritating you right now?

school. im ready to get out of here

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

i dont think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

wasnt this question already asked

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my friend steph i think (over the final fantasy ending LMAO)

113. What was your childhood nickname?

i dont think i had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yea

115. Do you play the Wii?

not a lot no

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yep (rn its 0 to 100 by drake on shuffle)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

not really. i like the broth tho

118. Do you like Chinese food?

ya

119. Favourite book?

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

depends

121. Are you mean?

i try not to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

nah

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NO LMAO i have a bad habit of standing on my own feet my white shoes r so gross

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

idk

125. Do you believe in true love?

idk

126. Are you currently bored?

not rlly

127. What makes you happy?

my friends, cats, pink, good food, nature, making my own art, old houses n rooms, lots of stuff

128. Would you change your name?

never thought about it

129. What your zodiac sign?

aries

130. Do you like subway?

not rlly

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

what

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

im p sure this ? was already asked

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

134. Can you count to one million?

y

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

dont remember but lots of em

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed. i cant sleep w them open 

137. How tall are you?

5′10″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

im blonde? i dont kno if theses r refering to me or what i prefer on other people?

140. Summer or Winter? 

summer

141. Night or Day?

tbh a tie

142. Favourite month?

dont have one!

143. Are you a vegetarian?

no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

neither

146. Was today a good day?

it was ok

147. Mars or Snickers?

no preference

148. What’s your favourite quote?

dont have one

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i mean i dont not believe in ghosts

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

“Grant said “what did you think?”” -Jurassic Park