#I did a search for sexy science

[official-penis-posts]

i love this blog, seeing the many forms that a penis may take is quite humorous. however, i do not have a penis, and i do not have any sexual interest in penis, either. i feel like a researcher out in the fields of an alien planet, the planet of cock and balls.

[flowercrowngods]

still on my journey to get better at smut, so uhhhh

chubby!steve fucking eddie at a highschool reunion

(explicit, ca. 1.1k | dom-ish top steve, belly kink, light degradation kink, multiple orgasms, semi-public sex, reunion sex??)

Eddie lets out a high-pitched moan as Steve lifts him off the ground, crowding him against the wall with all that glorious, glorious strength, manhandling Eddie like it’s nothing. If his dick weren’t already painfully hard and throbbing with need, it would be now, trapped as it is against Steve’s belly. It’s the hottest thing Eddie’s ever experienced.

“That what this is, baby?” Steve taunts, slowly grinding against Eddie, the bulge in those preppy-ass pants hot and hard against him.

Eddie moans again, shaking his head in denial even though they both know it’s useless, pointless. He’s been exposed. Quite literally, too.

“You think I’m sexy like this? I make you hard just from looking at me? Don’t think I didn’t see you there, Munson.”

God, the mouth on this man! Eddie never did stand a chance.

“You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid, letting me manhandle you like that. Think I can fuck yon against the wall, Eddie? Hold my dainty little princess up while I fuck all the words right out of your dirty little mouth, hmm?”

Eddie moans again, his hands finding their way into Steve’s hair, tugging and pushing and pulling him closer, closer, closer. He needs more. He needs Steve to do all of that and more. Come inside him, mark him up, let it trail out of him while they return to the gym — or leave him like that for everyone else to see, everyone else who happens to walk by this abandoned classroom in search for some privacy.

It’s been ten years. Ten years since Steve Harrington in all his glory graduated school and left Hawkins behind.

And oh, those years must have been glorious for him if he looks like this now. Bulky. Strong. Magnificent. Like he’s finally grown into that muscle he’s always had and polished it up with some softness.

Eddie was hard the moment he laid eyes on him.

And now here they are — in their old science classroom. If there were any coherent thought left in his mind, he’d make some quip about finally getting some biology lessons.

As it is, though, Steve surges up to claim his lips in a searing, filthy kiss while he divests Eddie of the rest of his clothing.

Eddie is naked now, trapped against the wall by that magnificent bulk of a man who is still fully dressed save for his suit pants being unbuttoned and that white dress shirt open all the way, exposing his hairy chest and tummy. The need to touch him is stronger now than the need to be fucked brainless, and Steve’s groan when Eddie runs his hands up and down those large pecs is absolutely worth the momentary lack of friction.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, unaware of the words leaving his mouth until they find their mark, making Steve falter in his frantic movements.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie swallows. “Always wondered what you’d look like now. Hoped for this.” He trails his hand down the prominent happy trail, all the way to where Steve’s cock is still trapped, leaking against his underwear.

They both moan as Eddie feels him up, gently jerking him as much as the angle allows, and Steve meets his movements with thrusts of his own, which in turn provides friction for Eddie’s throbbing erection.

God, this man is glorious. He wants to shout it from the rooftops.

“That so?” Steve murmurs, hands coming up to Eddie’s hair again, one of them trailing down to his lips. “King Steve was never enough for you, hmm? You wanted more. Always knew you were a greedy little slut, Eddie Munson. Practically begging for it with your little stunts. Wanted my eyes on you, didn’t you? We’re always so stupid for me.”

He moves his hips in a particularly mean thrust that makes Eddie keen, one finger moving past his lips for Eddie to suck while the one in his hair pulls meanly before coming down to his cock, jerking so hard and fast that Eddie’s legs quiver. Not that it matters, with the hold Steve has on him without even using his hands.

Eddie has nowhere to go; one finger in his mouth and a skilled hand on his dick. He doesn’t want to go anywhere. He wants to stay in this moment forever. Wants to tell Steve as much — stupidly — but all that comes out is a series of “Ah—ah—ah—ffffuck!” as the man renders him useless.

“All you had to do was ask,” Steve taunts, condescending in every possible way, and Eddie almost blows his load just then.

“P—Please,” he manages around Steve’s finger in his mouth, and the asshole speeds up. It’s all Eddie can do to shake his head, to whine between his moans and let him know that, No, not like that! “Want you. Need you.”

“You have me,” Steve whispers, his lips touching Eddie’s in an almost-kiss that is so intoxicating Eddie loses all sense of self for a second there.

“Fuck me,” Eddie whines. “Please. F—Fuck me against the wall, fuck the words right, right outta my mouth, fuck— like you said. Like that. Please.”

And oh, Steve does. Prepares him on four fingers until there are no words in Eddie’s brain anymore, clamps his hand over his mouth because “I don’t want anyone to find you just yet, baby. Want you all to myself. Want your cum on my belly and have you clean it up, eat it all like the filthy slut you are.”

He fucks him deeper than anyone’s ever fucked him, leaves him trembling with need even after he’s come twice, splattered Steve’s soft belly with it and almost came a third time just from that vision alone.

“One more, baby,” Steve tells him. “One more for me, then I’m gonna fill you up just like you want it, yeah? Fill you so good, mark you up so everyone knows you spread your legs for the King like my pretty little concubine. My pretty little princess, hmm? You gonna come again for me? Can you be a good boy for me?”

Eddie can. He comes with a muffled shout, adding a third load to Steve’s skin, framed by his otherwise pristine suit in what must be the most obscene vision Eddie’s ever seen.

Steve strokes him through it, gentler now, telling him how proud he is, how good Eddie was for him as he thrusts his hips one, two, three more times before he, too, finds his release in Eddie’s body. Well, in the condom; they’re not stupid. But a man can dream.

And, oh, does he dream. With Steve still inside him, his hips bucking with aftershocks as he buries his face in Eddie’s neck, licking and sucking and biting.

Eddie will always dream of Steve Harrington. Especially after tonight.

was gonna put this in @hotluncheddie’s ask box but then it hit 1k so here we go instead i guess

[biteofcherry]

Hi! ALPHA STEVEEEEE oh my actual days. i have an unhealthy attachement to GoT. If his omega was feeling insecure how would he react? I feel like he would be completely flabbergasted and considering how she is very much independent she might not tell him at first. but if he found out...

A study

alpha!Steve Rogers x omega female reader

warnings: none; fluffy hurt/comfort; alpha has unique ways of improving your mood; but there's also understanding and communication; alpha Steve is a warning okay?

Grain of Truth Masterlist

Main Masterlist

"I guess this one could work," you shrugged, watching yourself in the mirror with growing resentment.

Your words reached Steve with quite a delay. He was staring at you, his mind occupied with images of ripping the fabric off of your body to get his hands on the magnificence of your curves and softness.

You looked absolutely fantastic in that dress - and it wasn't even some revealing, super sexy evening gown, but rather a chic, modest piece. Perfect for attending a conference.

And when you first saw that dress on the display as you passed the shop, you seemed to love it. How could it change so quickly?

Steve's gaze dragged up your body until he met your eyes in the mirror.

It was the very first time you showed annoyance with your looks, even if occasionally you fussed about not fitting into your favorite clothes right before the heat, because your body was accumulating fat to survive days of endless fucking.

"What is it?" Steve's brows furrowed as he took a step closer and you felt the warmth of his body at your back.

His hands slipped onto your hips and he rested his chin on top of your head as he held your gaze in the reflection.

"Nothing," you shrugged again, instinctively leaning into your alpha's embrace. "It's a good dress, but it doesn't really matter, right?"

Steve sensed that clearly it did matter, so he waited patiently for you to elaborate.

"I just have one meaningless presentation, nobody will pay attention to it beside just politely listening and clapping after I'm done." You tried to play it cool, like it didn't bother you that there was going to be a different star at the conference.

"Unlike Hope," you muttered, your tone more bitter than you wanted to let on.

Hope was- not exactly a friend, but not an enemy either.

You went to the same university, shared some mutual friends and occasionally worked on the same projects before graduation. Then you pursued your career goals while Hope went on to rock the world with everything that she had.

She was stunning, always had a line of men and women trailing behind her with dreams of spending time with her. She had a brilliant mind, too. Honestly, she had it all, in your opinion.

Including the freedom of not being driven by designation and hormones, since she was a beta.

As it turned out, Hope now had not one but three degrees and steered her career toward medical science for the military purposes. You were proud of how you were actually helping people day to day, running your small research, but it suddenly felt less significant compared to Hope's straight road to saving the world.

When you stumbled into her an hour ago, your brief, quite warm conversation revealed she was going to be the mysterious grand star at the conference you were also attending.

And she too was searching for an outfit. Judging by the label on the bag she was carrying, Hope was going to have something designer. Perhaps even custom fitted.

Then it turned out Steve was familiar with one of her projects; he saw it used in action when back in the military.

They switched feedback and information about Hope's upgrades so flawlessly and passionately, and you just stood there with a smile, nodding your head in pretend-interest.

Hope had it all. Still. Just like she had in uni.

Including attention of your mate.

You knew Steve loved you, you didn't fear him leaving you to chase anyone else. But love didn't mean he was impressed, or interested in your meager career.

The only profit you'd gain from presenting your study at the conference would be Maria's proud face as she added to your clinic's website information about running research acknowledged at international conferences.

"Hope?" One of Steve's eyebrows quirked up, confusion settling on his face. "That beta we ran into?"

"Yes, that beta whose great improvements to the battlefield medicine-" you mocked Steve's voice- "you were complimenting less than an hour ago," you glared at him, barely stopping yourself from stomping on his foot.

"Sweet brat," Steve's hands tightened their grip on your hips, an almost painful reminder to watch your tone.

"I was a Captain in the Army and sometimes on missions things got really bad. I simply appreciate that Hope's projects helped to save lives of some of my men."

"I know her work is important." You grit out, crossing your arms over your chest. "Which is why I know everyone will look forward to her presentation and discussion panel with her. So I don't need to bother stressing over my showing."

Steve recited the full title of your presentation and research, showing you he was always paying attention to what was important to you.

"Hope's work may be desired by the big, important institutions," he said, "but it's your research that has the potential of aiding people nationally, in their day to day struggles."

Your heart melted at the conviction in Steve's voice. Through the bond you sensed a steady rhythm and a flush of fiery pride that your alpha felt about your work.

"And you know what else?" Steve bent down a little, resting his chin in the crook of your neck, his lips brushing your cheek.

"Hope has nothing beyond her career. Beneath the smell of perfume, there's only the scent of the lab on her. No partner, neither long term nor a fuckbuddy. No remnants of anyone familiar, like a friend or a pet."

"Maybe she chose it that way," Steve mused, rubbing soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs, "or maybe she spends the rest of her day being as fussy as you, feeling bitter that she doesn't have a mate and love like you."

You sighed softly, uncrossing your arms. You rested your hands atop Steve's forearms, caressing his warm skin.

You tilted your head slightly as your placated insecurities slowly retreated, living room to the mentioned fussy streak. That still wasn't entirely gone, strumming inside you with a need to act out.

"So you were checking her scent?" It was a deliberate poke, delivered with a glare.

Steve huffed and closed his eyes for a second. Then he straightened and in one swift move twirled you around.

He pushed you back against the mirror, gripping the back of your neck with one of his large hands.

"If you're sporting for a spanking until you sob all your frustration and insecurities out, I will happily arrange it." His voice remained soft, but dropped to that low octave a breath away from a growl.

"Or maybe we can make you more excited on that stage?" You gulped nervously as Steve's eyes darkened.

His lips trailed along your jaw, teeth just barely grazing your skin.

"You'll be giving your lecture wearing nothing but that pretty dress, while I sit in the first row with your panties in my pocket. Knowing that as soon as you're done with your presentation, I'm going to be fucking you full of my cum..."

Steve nipped your chin in reprimand when your eyes closed, the sting making you open them instantly.

"So that when you do the rounds at the banquet later that beta you're jealous off knows that you've won something she'll never have. A true mate."

Your clamped your hands on Steve's shoulders, gripping the fabric of his too tight t-shirt.

"You can't solve everything with sex, you know," you said breathlessly, clenching your thighs as you felt Steve's free hand slide up the pencil skirt of the dress you were trying on.

"How about we conduct a longitudinal study on that?" Steve chuckled and slapped your thigh.

[beomiracles]

「 WATCH MY SIX 」 PART TWO

DREAM RECALL if asked the question — you would describe Hueningkai as beautiful. Not necessarily sexy or even handsome, simply; beautiful. You think it was his beauty that attracted you to him from the start. The day he introduced himself, the day it all began. 

pairings stalker!hueningkai x afab!reader warnings stalking, non-con photography, descriptions of masturbation, pervert!kai, descriptions of injury, descriptions of assault, kai has issues.

#serene adds ✎... ouu I have a love-hate thing for this chapter, but I tried something new at least >.<

› NOTE THAT THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER IS WRITTEN ENTIRELY FROM KAI'S POV !!

Kai didn’t think that he was a bad person, nor was he a violent one. He simply felt his emotions a lot more strongly than others. In a way it would make them the heartless ones and not him. No, Kai wasn’t heartless, his heart was alive and beating — and filled to the brim with his undying love for you. 

Kai knew that he would love you when he first laid eyes on you, he was good at telling feelings like that. It had been a mere coincidence that had led him to you as he on that day decided to cut through the large campus grounds. You easily stood out in the crowd, plaid skirt blowing softly in the wind as you hugged your empty book bag to your chest. Immediately, he knew that you were special. 

But diamonds didn’t simply present themselves as shining rocks, waiting to be found. No, one had to know a diamond when they saw it, claim it and bring it to its full potential. You were exactly what he had been searching for, a rough diamond, ready to be polished. He had to have you. 

“Hi, I’m Hueningkai”.  He approaches you before anyone else has the chance to. He can tell that you’re unfamiliar with the area, the way your eyes shift from the multiple buildings before locking onto his own. You seem hesitant, wary even, as your gaze flickers between his eyes and his outstretched hand. 

When you do finally shake his hand, Kai’s heart flutters, your skin is soft and warm, making it hard for him to let go. You introduce yourself. Kai thinks that your name’s pretty, it suits your delicate frame. 

He tells you that he’s in his third year, majoring in computer science, the lie easily slips past his lips. It wasn’t a complete lie Kai told himself, he had once too, been a student at your college. Before his controversial behavior had got him expelled. He offers to show you around; knowing enough about the school to be able to find his way without much trouble. 

He makes you laugh as he shows you his favorite spots around campus, warning you about certain teachers and the old janitor who seemed to have a thing for the first grade girls. But most importantly, he asks you questions about yourself. Kai wants to know everything about you, though he decides to start small: 

“What are your plans then?” 

Try as he might, to keep his voice from sounding too forward, too eager. You tell him that you want to get a degree in business. Kai admires your ambition but as he asks if you would want to open one of your own you suddenly go silent, chewing on your bottom lip before you give a meek shrug of your shoulders, a quiet “perhaps” leaving your lips. 

Unable to understand why someone as ambitious as yourself failed to have a motive for pursuing such a degree, Kai watches you intently. In fact, he often found his gaze wandering over your soft figure, he knew that you noticed it too, yet you didn’t comment on it. The way you brought your bag closer against your chest, biting the inside of your cheek in a nervous manner as your gaze wandered across the halls. Perhaps you wouldn’t need much polishing after all. 

Kai watches you that day, it’s the first of many days that he will. Walking past the window of your classroom, watching from afar on the court yard, sometimes he would venture inside the large cafeteria, listening to the way your laugh bounced off the walls. You had a very pretty laugh. 

One thing Kai did not like about you were your friends. It was foolish of him to think that he would be able to keep you to himself. People were easily drawn to you, who wouldn’t be? But he had known you first. Yet you seemed to welcome these unfamiliar people into your life without as much as a second thought. Your naivety angered him. Why was it that you wasted your time on such insignificant beings? 

He walks you to the subway, as he would everyday from that day on. You tell him about your day and he listens, your voice like honey to him. He asks questions that he already has the answer to, and you reply truthfully to every single one with much enthusiasm. Then you make your first mistake, you would come to make a lot of mistakes, and Kai would always forgive you.    

“I’ve made quite a few friends as well!” 

Your cheery demeanor is a stark contrast to Kai’s suddenly dark one. Your voice, once a soothing melody to his ears, suddenly sounded like glass being shattered mere inches from his eardrum. He did not wish to know about your friends. They were bad people, Kai knew that, but you didn’t, you were oh so naive. 

His silence makes you frustrated, he doesn’t care. Lips pressed to a thin line to prevent anything he shouldn’t say from slipping past them. He tells himself that you couldn’t possibly understand, that it isn’t your fault. “That’s nice.” Kai is unable to will any sort of emotion to show through and he knows you’re able to pick up on it. 

Upon reaching the small subway you seem awkward, your once cheerful persona tucked away behind the sheepish expression fronting on your face. As you bid him goodbye he stops you, it happens before he has the time to consider it. 

“Can I have your number?” 

Kai had seen you exchanging contact details with your so-called friends. He knew that he needed it as well. You seem hesitant, he doesn’t quite understand why, did you not get along just fine moments ago? He grins as he tilts his head to the side, the small action seemingly winning you over as you hand him your phone. Taking his time to type his number in, his eyes scan your already existing contacts. When he finds nothing out of the ordinary he hands your phone back, this time along with his own number. 

Kai returns home that day with a giddy feeling throughout his whole chest. Tossing his keys on the small table in the hallway, he kicks his shoes off. “Where the fuck have you been all day?” Soobin’s voice calls out from the living room. With a roll of his eyes Kai walks over to greet the older man. “Been running errands”, he shrugs as he rummages through the fridge. 

“I suppose none of those errands will help pay our rent?” Soobin grunts as his eyes remain glued to the Tv screen, fingers moving rapidly over the controller in his hand. With a heavy sigh he slams the door to the fridge shut, a beer in his hand, “I’m working on it”, he mutters as he walks over to take a seat next to the elder on the couch. 

Soobin and Kai had been roommates since Kai’s senior year of highschool, and while Kai tried his luck in college, without much success; Soobin had discarded such an idea years ago. In truth, the older man would be Kai’s only friend, if that was what you could call them. There was little to be enjoyed about Choi Soobin, he was lazy, ungrateful, and quite frankly mean. Spending his days on his ass, either playing violent video games or watching porn. Kai’s nose wrinkled up in disgust at the sheer thought of his roommate's antics. 

He himself was not like that at all, no, he considered himself to be much more civilized when indulging in such fantasies — the women in those pornos were far from realistic, Kai preferred something much more real, like you. He liked how easy you were, naive and dumb, displaying your emotions for the whole world to see, that was what riled him up. 

And as he snapped a couple of photos of you in class, he couldn’t help but marvel at how real you looked; hair pushed back from your face as your pen worked diligently on writing down the professor’s words. The way you bit your lip in concentration, blinked as things made sense in your head, raised your delicate hand to answer a question, lips moving in an inaudible way from his spot by the window. 

He swipes through the many pictures of you, pinching the screen as he zooms in. He would need to take more, but for now these would suffice. Quickly excusing himself to his bedroom, he shuts the door behind him. Kai masturbated a lot to your pictures, everything about you aroused him and it was hard not to. 

With one hand on the phone he finds his favorite photo as his other hand drags along his hard cock languidly. He often imagined the things he would do to you; like telling you about the pictures, even showing you them — he imagines your horrified expression as you find out that he’s been touching himself to your images, the ones he had taken without your consent. The thought of your disgusted face turns him on further. 

Hips stuttering as he spills on his hand, some of it landing on his screen, on your photo… It's mere seconds before he’s hard again. 

 

Kai would wake up early every single day, and every day he would make his way to your college, just to walk you to class. Sometimes he would linger around campus, gazing upon you from afar, other times he would find other ways to occupy himself; but he would always be back to walk you to the subway, every single day. 

You were persistent about introducing him to your friends, the mere thought plagued his mind. Could you not see how bad they were for you? 

“I was thinking…maybe…you would like to join us on friday, we’re going bowling.”

Your voice held a tinge of hesitance and as you spoke your eyes were kept downcast, avoiding his yearning gaze. He found your obliviousness to be endearing as your mind worked overtime to figure out why he avoided your classmates. Keeping a masked expression he wills his gaze to focus on the hallway ahead of you. 

“Who’s us?” he asks, though he of course already knows the names you are about to list. He watches as your expression flickers with a glimmer of hope, hope that he would agree — Kai of course, never would. You quickly hide said hope with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders, “Me, Sun hee, Nari and probably Eun too”. He can’t help the way his face twitches at the mention of Nari. Out of all your friends, she was who he detested the most. Yet you seemed to be the fondest of her. 

 “I might be busy friday”. He watches you blink dumbfoundedly, a small sigh of acknowledgement leaving your lips. You were disappointed, you wanted him to be there, his heart fluttered at the thought. 

But Kai was indeed busy that friday. 

It turned out to be quite the chore, tailing you all the way to the small bowling arena. In the end he makes it, finding a secluded corner to watch you from. You were good, impressive even, easily scoring higher than your weasley friends. Kai notices that you look different tonight; your hair styled differently, a shiny gloss paints your lips — and you’re wearing a bold dress. Tonight you look far from your usual self and it makes you even more alluring to him. Bringing out his phone he snaps a few quick shots which he would go through upon returning home. 

He watches as you take a seat next to the dark haired girl whom he had quickly grown to loathe. The two of you indulge in a conversation he cannot decipher, casting quick glances toward your other friends in a mischievous manner. Suddenly your expression turns into a defeated one, curiosity tugs at him as he leans forward, peering at your shielded face. What were you talking about? He longed to know.  

Kai follows you home that night, walking a safe distance behind you, the hood of his dark hoodie limits his vision to only you. As the two of you walk together, unbeknownst to you, he realizes that this isn’t enough; Kai needs to get closer to you. He decides that his best approach would have to be a message. 

Setting up a fake identity was hardly troublesome for him, and with much anticipation he sent his very first text. “You looked good tonight.” He’s upfront, short but concise as he gets his point across with one sentence. In a way, it felt as if he was meeting you all over again — the feeling made him giddy. That giddiness soon simmered down to disappointment as he stared at his screen, awaiting your reply. It takes you 27 minutes to read his message, when you do, he immediately perks up. 

Pupils dilating as they follow the three dots moving up and down on the screen. “Who is this?” Your response makes him frown, he had expected a bit of gratitude back, perhaps even a thank you. Your continued obliviousness frustrated him and he began typing out an answer. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” No, he shakes his head as he rephrases the message. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it…” God no, Kai groans as he runs a restless hand through his hair. “I miss you.” “Do you not recognize me?” 

He cringes at his own words, deleting message after message before inevitably giving up. Of all questions you just had to ask that one. As he stares up at the ceiling of his dark room, he vows to keep his second identity a secret, at least for now. A small grin tugging at his lips as he imagines the way your face would drop when he did decide to tell you. It was a most pleasant thought indeed. 

That weekend Kai didn’t text you at all, not even once. It took every ounce in him to hold himself back, fingers instinctively reaching for his phone multiple times throughout the day. But he needed to put space between the two of you, last Friday had been one too close, and as much as he yearned for you; Kai wanted you to feel a similar sense of longing as you awaited his texts. 

But just because he couldn’t talk to you didn’t mean that he couldn’t see you. Kai often found himself lingering by your apartment, fittingly you rented a flat on the first floor, and you never seemed to close your curtains; how foolish, just about anyone could gaze upon you if they so wished to. And Kai did, more than anything. 

From the way you moved throughout the multiple rooms, dressed in nothing but your skimpy pajamas, you were such a tease. He often found his hands wandering down to grope at his hardening cock whenever you would walk around in nothing but a tight towel, clinging to your wet body. His camera roll flooded with images of you performing the most mundane tasks, oblivious to the way your every move entranced him. 

But most of all, he enjoyed seeing your reactions as he wrote to you, the way you chewed on your bottom lip, delicate fingers swiping over the screen as you stared at his message. You never sent a reply, he didn’t mind, at least you read them, it was all the validation Kai needed. 

It soon became a habit for him to check up on you during the day. He would make sure you ate, slept well, studied and so on… And as you never seemed to reject any advances made, Kai grew bolder. He couldn’t help the comments about your friends from slipping past his quick fingers on the keyboard. Besides he was only looking out for you, making sure you didn’t get into any sort of trouble. 

Kai would be lying if he said that the way you kept teasing him didn’t turn him on, immensely. The way you would read and acknowledge every message of his, though you refrained from giving him a reply — yet you chatted with him as if nothing whenever he walked you to class. This game the two of you played was most intriguing to him and the more time he spent in your presence the more he yearned for you when he wasn’t. 

Perhaps he took things too far on that fateful evening. His eyes lingered on your relaxed figure as your eyes lazily flickered across your Tv screen. He thought the message was harmless, the two of you would often discuss movies on your way to class, so what was the harm in doing it over text? 

“The Conjuring? I didn’t take you for a horror enthusiast.” 

His stomach tingles with excitement as he presses the send button. Your phone vibrates on the couch and you don’t hesitate to reach for it. Kai’s eyes remain fixed on your face, watching as your expression morphed from confusion to shock — to horror. Quickly he ducks as your frightened gaze flicks toward his window. This was by far the best reaction he had gauged from you yet. 

As he leans against the brick wall of your apartment, he reaches for his phone once more. But his next message doesn’t go through; you had blocked him. He frowns and as he casts a quick glance toward your window he finds the curtains drawn shut. 

Kai waits for you to unblock him, he waits patiently for two whole days. He’s certain that you will, perhaps a little too certain. Yet you seem completely indifferent as he walks you to class and back. Did you not care for the sake of his messages? This morning, Kai found it particularly hard to let go of you as he insisted on escorting you all the way to the door of your lecture hall. Without having the ability to text you he was forced to rely on the few moments spent in your presence. 

“You got any plans this weekend?” He knows that he has to see you, only you. But it was seemingly impossible; you tell him that you’re meeting up with your friends, those good for nothing lowlifes. They seemed to have laid some sort of claim on you, especially that dark haired one. Kai knew that they had to go, how else would he get you to himself? 

You offer him to tag along, he declines. He knows that his persistent rejections hurt you and he doesn’t want to hurt you, ever, it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t understand better. That you didn’t know how bad they were for you, that you didn’t know how much Kai did for you. 

As he makes his way off campus he checks his phone once more, you had yet to unblock him and the more time you spent in your friend’s presence, the more he was starting to think you might never will. He’s had enough and as soon as the front door to his apartment slams shut he marches to his bedroom, earning a confused glance from his roommate on the couch. 

Upon opening his laptop, Kai rummages through all the pictures he’d taken of you. He chooses one of his favorites, it’s one of you cooking, wearing nothing but a tight top and a pair of shorts, he still remembers the night he had taken it. He sets up another number and before he has the chance to think he sends the picture. 

At first he’s unsure if he should add something, but what? Perhaps the message would be received the wrong way unless he clarified it somehow. In the end he writes, “Pretty.”, because you were — you were incredibly pretty. You would understand when you saw it; you would understand that he meant no harm. 

It doesn’t take long for you to open his text, his heart races as the small read notification pops up on his screen. You don’t reply, it’s okay, he hadn’t expected much more. What he hadn’t expected though, was the text you sent his usual number. 

“Spending the afternoon with my friends, you don’t need to wait for me after class :)”  

But Kai always met you after class, it was his and your thing. He doesn’t understand why you couldn’t wait to see them until later, why would you prioritize them over him. He had not been oblivious to the fact that your friends posed a rather large threat to his and your relationship, but it was now becoming evident that he had to do something about it. 

Unblinking, Kai stares at his screen as he waits by the gates of your school. Admittedly he was early, but as he scans the grounds once more he suddenly spots you. Clinging to the frame of your dark haired friend as she guides you off campus. He frowns, you look…agonized, pained, sad? The sight stirs an unpleasant feeling in his chest, a feeling he doesn’t know how to process. Why had you lied in your text? You were always honest with him — did you not trust him enough? What had he been doing wrong? 

That night, just like many before, Kai lingers by the outskirts of your apartment. It was nearing 9pm and you had yet to return home — it was a school night, how long could that friend of yours possibly keep you out for? You needed to rest. Soon he grows impatient as he begins pacing your quiet neighborhood. 

It takes about three laps around your building for the realization to dawn on him, but when it does, he feels his senses slipping. You weren’t coming home at all tonight, you were still with her, what the fuck had you told her? More importantly, what the fuck had she told you? 

His fingers work on their own accord as Kai sends message after message, unable to hinder himself, blinded by pure hatred and rage. 

“Why would you tell her about me? About us?” 

“Dirty bitch has nothing to do with it.” 

“Is that why you’re not at home? You’re with her aren’t you, that whore.” 

“You shouldn’t have done that, why did you?” 

“Are you fucking stupid?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You’re not stupid.” 

“She is. Good for nothing useless fucking slut.” 

“Come home again.”

“I miss you.” 

As soon as he calls you stupid he regrets his words, you weren’t stupid, you just didn’t see things as clearly as he did, it wasn’t your fault. He quickly apologizes and tells you that he misses you, because he does, more than anything. Kai almost drops his phone when the three dots start moving across the screen, indicating that you were typing. 

“Fuck off.” 

Fuck off? You never cursed. He doesn’t understand why he was the one getting backlashes. It was your friend who was the problem here, not him. Oh but you remained naive. He would have to show you, there was no other way for you to understand. 

And he would, he would show you. 

Kai doesn’t bother waiting for you that following morning, today he was set on a different target. Dark hair swaying in a most irritating manner as she walked, Kai kept his distance as he tailed your friend through school. It was a most tiresome task as the hours passed by slowly. He snaps a picture of her in class, with no additional information he forwards it to you. He would show you. 

3.31pm and she finally leaves campus grounds. How foolish of her to wander alone, Kai thought, yet he relished in how easy she was making things for him. He continues to document his process, it’s almost cinematic; reminding him of those wildlife documentaries. The final moments before the predator strikes the prey who’s blissfully unaware of its destined fate. 

Like clockwork she turns to shortcut through a narrow alleyway. It’s desolate and quiet, he seizes the opportunity. The knife he had brought along  glints in the streaks of sunlight invading the small alley, and as the blade pierces through the ample skin of her shoulder, its once clean edge turns a crimson red. The action rips a pain filled scream from her lungs as she stumbles forward. 

Kai wasn’t a sadist. He did not enjoy hurting others, yet he felt contentment flowing through his veins as the girl beneath him withered in pain. He knew that this was for a good cause, he was finally getting rid of the thing that had been in his way all along, and it left him feeling ecstatic. 

With the heel of his foot, he flips her over on her back. Her expression morphs into one of horrified recognition. She splutters and coughs, thick dark blood mixed with saliva trails down her chin as she wheezes out a raspy, “y-you…”

You had told him her name once, what was it? Ah, Nari. Kai’s expression turned bitter at the sheer thought of her foul name on your lips. Oh, but what a sight, to see her reduced to nothing but blood and flesh, clinging onto life as she pleads for mercy. He takes another round of pictures, making sure to capture the scene before him fully. Finally you would see, finally you would understand. 

It doesn’t take long for him to find you, and with the keys he’d retrieved from your friend’s limp body, he makes his way inside the apartment. The sight before him was almost too good to be true. Hurled up on the floor, your loud cries fill the flat and Kai hurriedly makes his way over to you. 

He pulls your shaking body into his arms, the way he had imagined so many times. Internally sighing as you grasp at his shirt, pulling yourself closer to him. Your lips are puffy, cheeks wet and eyes glossy. Kai doesn’t think you have ever looked more beautiful. Your sobs send tingling sensations through his body as he shivers, he would be lying if he said that the way tears spilled from your eyes didn’t stir a burning desire inside him. 

Carefully he wipes your cheeks, cradling your fragile body in his gentle embrace. Unable to hold himself back, he presses a kiss to your forehead, inhaling the sweet scent of your soft hair as he does. “It’s going to be okay”, he whispers. And it was, he had taken care of your problem, it was all over now, everything would be just fine, you would understand. 

“Kai, I…I think I’m being stalked.” Your voice is a shaky and uncertain as your teary eyes lock onto his. 

Stalked? He almost let a small grin pass his features at your words. You were far too oblivious to his love, it pained him. Kai had not stalked you, he had been confessing, all this time — now all that was left was for you to reciprocate his feelings.

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[00-jammy-00]

Heyo, I'm so obsessed with your work 🙂 I hope you don't mind me flooding your asks for the next week. Can I get a yan!creep? Like, he finds reader (who's like a freshman) and thinks like "Damn, their hot" or smth, idk. And after he just starts stalking them, leaving creepy *explicit* photos of reader. If you feel uncomfortable with anything about my request, you can always just cut stuff out, or not do it entirely.

Please and thank you!

(P.S: Am I the only one that can't understand tumblr's color text? 😩 Seriously, I changed one letter and the whole paragraph went orange! I DID IT AGAIN WHILE TYPING THIS)

-🐑anon

Yan!Creep HC’s

Yan!Creep x GN! Reader

Content Warning - Yandere themes, stalking, obsession, implied blackmail, theft, nsfw mentions

——————————————————————————————————

Yan!Creep who first saw you walking down the hallways, cluelessly looking for your classes. He swear his heart stopped when you looked at him with those doe like eyes asking for help.

Yan!Creep who started to accidentally follow you around. “Wow! How funny to see you here Y/N!” “This is my locker.” He struggled a bit to try and find your classes but eventually he knew your whole schedule, now he could accidentally run into you all the time!

Yan!Creep who didn’t like the way other people were starting to look at you. The guy from your science class is being extra nice to you? How strange. It’s even stranger how now the guy won’t even look in your direction without terrirfied eyes.

Yan!Creep who some how found out your dorm and also some how has a spare set of keys?? You’ve started to find some of your underwear and perfumes missing as well, it makes you paranoid.

Yan!Creep who has begun following you even more. You guys are best friends now! Aren’t you happy? Do you find him nice? Do you find him smart? Do you find him attractive? Hot? Sexy? Cute? Handsome? Say yes.

Yan!Creep who comforts you when your new friends have suddenly stopped wanting to be around you. Shh, they are just jealous, don’t worry, he’s here for you.

Yan!Creep who says he’s picked up bird watching as a hobby when you discover a pair of binoculars in his bag, this led to him frantically searching up different types of birds around your area at 5am to get rid of any lingering questions.

Yan!Creep who has a shrine of you in his wardrobe that holds everything he’s ever stolen borrowed from you. Notes, underwear, clothing, perfume, pens, water bottles, headphones, jewellery, chewed gum, fuck even sex toys are kept in his shrine. He can still smell your scent on them too!

——————————————————————————————————

Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, requests are open <3

please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission.

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Atoms Love ❙ TP Ratchet x f!robot reader ❙ NSFW 18+

Word count: 3000+ 😅

Warnings: Smut ( Touching, teasing and spike in valve ). NSFW 18+.

Notes: Been wanting to do one of Ratchet for a while now and was so thrilled to get this finished. I did change the title from the previews I had posted, I just felt this was more suited. Thanks anon for sending in this beauty, I had lots of fun with it. Sorry for the wait.

I'd like to add that when reader use to be Rachet's student she was of age, not underage. Just a simple rule that teachers shouldn't be involed with their students like in our world with collage/university. That's all. Hope you're all enjoy the sexy medic. 🥰

Your arrival on earth is greeted with a warm welcome from team prime. For so long you've been travelling planet to planet, searching for friends and perhaps a place to call home. While you didn't mind the ongoing travel at first, you were eager to settle for good. Earth was your next stop and you felt pretty lucky to find Optimus Prime and his team, but what got you even more excited was that Ratchet was there, your former teacher back on Cybertron way before the war started.

Through the coms of your ship you can hear the ecstasy from Ratchet, and you can't hold back your beaming smile hearing your favourite medic again after so long. Earth is to be your home now, that's what you decided. Sure, decepticons might've been hanging around but you could handle it. Your skills as a medic and through tinkering science will prove to be useful, all thanks to Ratchet who has taught everything he knew.

It's good to have Arcee around, you thought, so you weren't the only femme around, and she admitted that it's good to have another femme to join team prime. She is pretty cool, you thought, and such a skilled warrior. You two were going to get along.

The others were great as well, you even met these interesting humans they had around. Optimus expressed his appreciation to have you join them, and also added that Ratchet hadn't stopped talking about you since the comlink transmission. At first you were flattered, but hearing Ratchet fluster so quickly, struggling to explain himself did make your cheek plating heat up a little trying to hide your smile.

The moment was over, but Ratchet and you did spend a lot of time together, mostly talking about science and even doing small experiments of your own just for fun. The others saw all this but they didn't dare to say anything or interfere. Apparently Ratchet was pretty quick with his wrench if someone was to disturb him.

It's been a few weeks now since your arrival and it was going well. You feel settled and are surrounded by others who are almost like a family. You find yourself with Ratchet again, of course, you do spend a lot of time with him. Later that evening, you are both currently doing some tinkering and small experiments to pass the time together, measuring the right formulas and discussing the old times back on Cybertron.

"Oh but I'm serious. Out of all my students, you were one of the best. Someone with your intelligence deserved to be in the higher ranked classes, and I argued with those lug nuts in the higher grounds, but they didn't see what I saw." Ratchet goes on to say as you listen in.

"Well, it's a good thing that didn't happen, because I would've missed my favourite teacher. I only learned from the best, and it's because of you that I ended up here."

"Me? No, I'm sure there are other reasons." He tries to brush himself off but you shake your helm.

"There was much I believed from you, and I admired you, I still do, and I'm grateful I had a good teacher like you to help guide me through my younger learning time."

Meeting his gaze you saw him staring at you fondly as you return the same stare before he forces himself to break that small trance you thought you felt happening. It was quiet before you heard him vent out heavily and place his tinkering on the bench.

"May I make a confession to you, y/n?" His tone is deep, as if he's still wondering if he should keep talking to you about whatever is going on in his processor. "Just promise not to laugh."

"Of course you can. I've never made fun of you before, and I don't plan on it." You'll listen to him and hear what he has to say.

"Well, when you were my student, I did say a number of times how much I admired you and praised your skills, but what I never told you was that I admired you...affectionately."

This makes you stop what you're doing. He now had your full attention. "Putting it simple, you had a crush on me?"

Ratchet lets out a light hearty laugh but it's not because of what you said, but because of what he was confessing to you after all this time. "Yeah, that's putting it simple." Another vent leaves him, optics cast against the bench as he fiddles with the tinkers to try and avoid your own optics. You wonder if he is ashamed or embarrassed, but you want him to know that he doesn't need to be.

"How come you didn't say anything before?" You already knew the answer to that.

"Because I was your teacher and you were my student, it wouldn't have been right. You would've been kicked out and I would've been demoted from my position. So, I locked away those affections, and continued to be your teacher."

"That sounds sad. Doesn't sound like you wanted to do that, and you are making yourself sound like you haven't been happy for a long time."

"Oh I've been...content." He didn't sound very convincing to you. "Don't you worry, y/n. I might be older but that doesn't mean I haven't been happy. Regrets, yes, but that's only natural for anyone. I'm just pleased that you're here now, that's all that matters."

If only you knew, perhaps things might've been different.

To move on from it he tries to focus on his tinkering as you look down at your own a little, pondering your thoughts. Well, he did it first, you are only going to add more to this with no way out.

"I have a confession." He hears this from you as he locks his optics with your own. "When I was your student, I was...enamoured by you." You decide to use the fancy words like he does and look at the gadget in your servos a little, turning it for a better look and giving Ratchet the moment he needed to let this progress in him.

"You? I-I mean...you?" His confusion makes you feel a little amused. "How come you said nothing?"

"I was your student and you were my teacher, it would not have been right." You answer the same as his own. "Also, I did express my feelings, just not verbally."

"Well, you're going to have to explain that one to me, because I don't recall anything that gave me any signals that you felt like this towards me." He sounded a little miffed but not in a bad way, mostly with himself you think for not noticing.

"Those blue energon roses. One was left at your work station every week. They're hard to grow and need the right formulas for them to flourish which I did every week and presented to you. I never said they were from me but I watched from afar. You admired them."

"You?" He lays everything on the bench and leans himself against it as if his knees were growing weak. "Those were from you?"

"I learned from the best." You give a dainty smile. "You taught me how to grow them, and I wanted to express my gratitude and...affections, without either of us getting in trouble."

Perhaps if you both confessed your feelings for one another during those times, things might've been different. Sure, you might've been kicked out and he would've lost his position, but at least you would've had each other, right? That's the childish dream you had while being his student but you got over it, at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

"So, you felt the same way about me?" Ratchet wants to clarify once more from you. "Do those feelings still persist?"

"I did." You confirm. "And they do."

Its then you notice you're both holding a deep rooted stare. Blue optic illuminating together in a stronghold, one and the other silently screaming for the other to do or say something, quickly, before it escapes. Ratchet catches it just in time.

"What's stopping us now?"

"Nothing."

It all happens abruptly, one moment you and Ratchet were tinkering away with experiments and the next, you find yourself in his private quarters. There's a growing fever as you run your servos across his chassis, up over his shoulder pads as you feel his own servos smooth over your waist. His warm lips are across your own in a deep, slow passion, his glossa coils with your own while you welcome his touches and kisses through pure ecstasy and eagerness.

Ratchet calmly leads you towards his berth where he sits himself and you straddle his lap as you keep the kiss hot and lasting between you both. It's him that eventually breaks the kiss, touching your helms together as your heated vents hit against each other.

"Would you like to try out a new experiment?"

"I thought we already were." You can't help but giggle faintly, regarding the humid moment you are both currently sharing.

"Think of it as an add on to our current one."

"Why not? Tinkering with experiments is kind of our thing."

Ratchet lets out a light chuckle that you grew to love so rapidly.

"Turn around, and settle in my lap again."

Following his gentle command you do that, sitting back down and pressing your back against his chassis as you feel his servos calmly move across your waist, cascading down over your hips and across your thighs, letting them linger there while he feels you under his touch. You let out a placid vent, feeling relaxed and a small boiling of desire creeping its way through your frame. He then touches his wrist and you catch onto a device being activated in front of your both.

"A hologram mirror?" You smile warmly in amusement. "Is there a reason that it's set up right in front of your berth?"

"Perhaps I like to admire myself." There's a hint of playfulness in his voice making you giggle faintly in return.

"Well, you're quite the sight."

"You're a better looking sight."

Ratchet turns your helm a little so he can kiss you gently before resuming his actions, servos ghostly running on top of your tights and inwards, close to your warm panel. His chin rests against your shoulder as he looks at the mirror, as you lock your optics on it as well, watching what he is doing to you. To see everything is very arousing for you both.

You spread your legs to give him more access, hanging over each of his as you settle comfortably in his lap and rest yourself back against him, letting out silent heated vents that slowly boil more within you. Your waist wiggles, rubbing softly against Ratchet's panel causing him to let out a silky moan.

"Let's have a look at you. Retract your panel, please."

Without any pause you do this, revealing your already soaked valve for you both to see through the mirror. You can feel Ratchet quiver against your back as he stares, servos moving even closer to your valve.

"Stunning." He whispers into your audio. It's your turn to moan when he touches a digit against your moist lips and delicate node, exploring and teasing you for his own pleasure.

You watch as he uses a second digit to open your lips to explore you more, and uses another with his other servo to gently push into your valve. Instantly you clench around to invading digit, a feathered moan lingering from your vocals. You can't help but rock your hips gently, both of you watching as he plays with you. "Ratchet." His name sighs from you while your servos rest against both his thighs.

"You're a rare beauty, y/n. You were always my favourite student." His charming words causes you to smile shyly.

"As you were my favourite teacher." Next, you got cocky. "Is this what you always wanted to do to me?"

Ratchet is quiet, optics staring at what he's doing while playing with your valve, digit pumping into you slowly. His response is by adding a second digit to join the first, and his other servo circles around your node, causing you to gasp and back arch, feeling the new buzz suddenly electrocute through your frame.

"This, and much more."

You weep softly through the burning lust that drifts across your entire frame, hips swaying in sync with his servos and digits against your valve before moving your servo up to touch the side of Ratchet's face as a way to hold on and keep him close as possible. Your optics never leave the mirror, fascinated by the sight of yourself and Ratchet's skillful servos on you, knowing very well that he'll more than likely want to try out other things in the future. After all, nothing is holding either of you back anymore.

You hear a faint click and you see his throbbing spike emerge from it's housing between your legs. His girth size was rather impressive, thick and throbbing, canvas up perfectly as small drops of trans fluid leaks from his tip and runs down his length.

He catches you from the mirror staring at his spike making him chuckle lightly. "I'm not that impressive."

"Liar." You comment back before gently wrapping you servo around his spike, hearing him letting out a hitched vent at your warm touch as his optics shuttered a little. "You're beyond impressive. You're phenomenal." It's your turn to moan again as he rewards you with a third digit in your soaking valve.

"You're too kind to this old timer."

"You're my old timer." You notice his expression change a little, as if he is touched by your words before giving you a soft beam against your shoulder.

Your servo slowly starts to pump at his spike, feeling every ridge along the base and every twitch given from him, digit rubbing at his tip and back down to moist him all over. You kind of feel like you're going to need it. His servos are kept on your valve, digits pumping into your stretched depths while rubbing still slow at your node. He doesn't want you overloading just yet. With all this happening both your moans and heated vents surround you both, growing more hotter and eager for more.

"Ratchet, please, I need you inside me."

"Stand up." It seems you both have the same thoughts. Once his digits are gone from you, you stand up on weak legs just a little. Slowly, you lower yourself back down, watching the mirror as Ratchet holds himself in position before finding your mark.

Your mouth hangs open a little while watching yourself sink down onto his spike, taking his thick girth inch at a time while tossing your helm back against Ratchet's shoulder. You can hear his tense grunts as you clamp around him tightly, and let yourself sink fully into his lap again.

"Y/n..." He says your name, almost sounding desperate, like he was begging for something from you.

"Ratchet." You return the same as you give yourself a moment to adjust. "You feel so good."

Carefully, you start to move yourself, watching from the mirror as you see yourself moving along his spike entering your valve over again. His servo wraps around your front and comes to your node again, rubbing at you as he has a firm hold at your hip as you ride him. You're obsessed with the sight, and you know already you're going to want to use the hologram mirror again for yourselves.

Letting out heavy moans you grind down against Ratchet causing him to let out a surprised moan himself, holding a tighter hold as he presses his lips into your neck, glancing at the mirror whenever possible. You hold onto him as you ride his spike, letting out more blissful sounds that slowly grow more.

"Oh frag!" You curse out much louder, unable to hold it in.

"Such language doesn't suit you." Ratchet can't help himself, causing you to give a giggle through your moans.

"Then what suits me?"

"This."

He grabs hold of you tightly and thrusts his hips up against your movements at a rapid pace, causing you to let out a mewl. Looking at the mirror you are obsessed with the sight of you sitting against him, riding his spike, as he thrusts into you, causing the berth to start creaking under your harsh movements.

"Touch yourself."

You do that, using a free servo to bring down to yourself as you rub your node, digits skipping across the base of his moist spike as he enters you over again. Your thighs are spread wide, hanging across his own legs as you hump against his movements and moving in sync together. At this rate, you know you won't last too much longer.

Ratchet seems to read your mind. "Go on darling. Overload with me. Let yourself go."

That is all you needed to hear. Letting out a loud lingering mewl you fall apart and overload hard, watching yourself as your juices pool around the spike and under the both of you against the berth.

His heated vents against your shoulder turn into grunts before he lets out a harsher gnarl and you feel his warm trans fluids soak your depths. hips stilling, keeping inside you as you both sag against one another and the berth. With your optics still cascading at the mirror you are enjoying the sight while letting yourself vent and cool off as he did the same.

"That experiment was fun." You say through a giddy smile.

"Fun indeed. I have more ideas and experiments for us to try out for the future." The very thought makes you hum in delight.

"I look forward to all of them." You gently remove yourself from his spike and turn around, straddling him again and giving him a tender and loving kiss.

He kisses you back just as tenderly before your helms rest together.

"You think you can handle this old grumpy fool?"

"Absolutely." You answer while caressing his cheek plating.

"Fantastic."

There is nothing stopping either of you now.

Also, just to share because I can, this is the position that they had going. Let that invade your mind and consume your thoughts. 😍

[64yrsold]

sex

“I’m back!” I called, struggling to close the door with my arms full of groceries.

“I’m in here,” he replied weakly, and I dropped the bags to the ground. I skipped over to the living room, where he laid sprawled across the couch. His hand draped over his eyes, but he lifted his head to glimpse at me as I stood beside him.

“What’s happened to you?” I cooed, kneeling beside him.

“I’ve got a massive headache,” he grumbled, rubbing his head tenderly. He peered at me through one squinted eye. “Thanks for going out without me.”

“Oh, my angel,” I pouted, and he chuckled lightly, grimacing. “And you’re just sitting here with all the lights on?”

“Mhm.”

“Should I take care of you, honey?” I smiled, teasing. I pinched at his pale cheek.

“Please.” He kissed at the palm of my hand, groaning.

“Alright, let’s get up, please,” I stood, and he followed, head slumped forward and arm intertwined with mine. He shuffled behind me as we headed up the stairs, mumbling to himself with each step.

“Get into bed,” I told him, and he smirked.

“Don’t like that tone,” he huffed, “Usually you say that… More sexy-like…”

“Take that shirt off,” I beckoned for his t-shirt, and he obliged.

“That too.”

“Sex isn’t going to make your headache go away,” I said, and he frowned, crawling under the covers. I brought the blanket up to his neck, tucking it in around his shoulders.

“We could try,” he licked his bottom lip, “An experiment.”

“I don’t think so,” I laughed. I flicked off the bedside lamp, and fluffed the pillows behind his head.

“It would be scientific.” He managed a weak grin, eyes searching me expectantly.

“How about we try a different science experiment,” I offered, “Where you drink this glass of water, and we’ll see if it makes this headache go away.”

“That’s not nearly as fun as my idea,” His eyes closed tightly, and he sighed. I sat beside him on the bed, his hand reaching out of the blanket to rest on my thigh.

“Did you have any water today?”

“Yeah, loads.”

“Okay, so none,” I nodded, my fingers finding his temples. I rubbed slow circles into his skin, and he seemed to find some comfort in the gesture, his jaw relaxing and eyelids fluttering.

“I know you didn’t drink any water today,” he mumbled, earning a quiet gasp.

“And yet,” I tapped a finger to my forehead, “No headache.” He groaned at the absence of my fingers, his head lulling to the side. “Sorry, baby,” I sighed, returning to massage his head.

“Keep your hands on me,” he uttered, “It’s the only thing that’s eased the pain.”

“That must be mostly placebo,” I smiled, but kept my hands glued to his skin.

“Nothing about you is placebo,” he said, then paused, “Did that make sense?”

“Sort of.”

“Fuck. My head is swimming.” He scratched at the back of his head. I moved my fingers to the inner corners of his eyes, gently pressing the pad of my index to the delicate tissue.

“You ever done this?” I asked, circling my finger gently. He hummed quietly, taking a deep breath.

“That feels weird,” he thought for a moment, “But sort of nice.”

“I always do this when I get a headache. Feels nice.” I murmured, watching him closely. I pulled my hands away, and he pouted.

“You leaving?” He asked quietly.

“Yes, you need to sleep. You’ll feel better if you take a nap.”

“Stay,” he looked at me through his lashes, “I can’t sleep without you.”

I smoothed the blanket covering his chest, my hand rising and falling with his breath. I laid down beside him carefully, pulling him over me so he could rest his head against my chest. My hand lost itself in his hair, kneading at his scalp softly.

“Goodnight, baby,” I whispered.

“Feel better already,” he replied, kissing at my neck, “If you want to experiment.”

[fandomwe1rd0]

Sooooo I was searching up Rick and Morty Mary Sue, to see if anyone put Elle (Only one media outlet did if you're curious, and a quick lil fuck you for Elle ofc) anddddd I stumbled upon this article:

Now if you don't want to read this article, I wouldn't blame you, it's long and it is full of shit takes. But as someone who regretfully read all of it, I'll summarize the points and show why they suck, and I know the article was made 5 years ago so I shouldn't care about it, but also heyyyy shut up, AND also, I doubt anyone will, but please do not harass the person that made this article, I hate the article, not them as a person, also harassing people is just an asshole thing to do. So just leave them alone and we can point and laugh at this article, cool? Cool. Anyway let's get started!

"People who think Pickle Rick is the most original piece of humor ever created"

Basically this was them saying Pickle Rick wasn't funny. I…don't understand how this is a dig at the show. And this is coming from someone that didn't like the Pickle Rick episode and thinks it's overrated. But I can see that's not the only reason why people like that episode. They like it for the good animation, Dr. Wong, and the action.

2. "The never ending slew of toilet humor is just not necessary"

This is just them complaining about the toilet humor and saying it's not necessary. I…who's gonna tell them humor isn't necessary in general, and trust me, some shows have way more toilet humor than Rick and Morty, and as someone who doesn't find toilet humor funny, it never really grossed me out or bothered me with Rick and Morty. It doesn't show anything gross, it isn't too detailed with toilet humor, it's just dumb cheap humor, it's really not that deep, they also crank down on it with other seasons.

3. "People actually want to be Rick, and it's wrong on so many levels"

This is basically saying that dudebros idolize Rick, and that Rick is a Mary Sue

I'M SORRY WHAT!?

This is probably the worst take the article has. Rick is meant to be seen as an asshole, he's called an asshole and is called out multiple times, by a lot of people, Dr. Wong gave him a "reason why you suck" speech. Rick has multiple flaws, and he's not meant to be seen as sexy, RICK HIMSELF and some random lil guy refer to Rick as ugly, he's not meant to be a good character. Rick is competent at science and is strong, but he gets his ass beat multiple times, and literally DIED in Unmortricken, he does come back, ofc he does, but my point still stands. He has character development, but that doesn't make him a Mary Sue?!

Also you're not SUPPOSED to idolize Rick. Yes some fans certainly do, but the show consistently shows you that he is miserable and is not okay in general, yes some far idolize him, but that's not the shows fault, also this show is meant for ADULTS, which means they don't have to have a good person as their protagonist, especially if they aren't mean to be a role model, and as long as the show doesn't glorify it, it's not their fault. Adults should be smart enough to not over idolize characters from tv shows anyways. Rick is a heavily traumatized person that the show doesn't glorify, so it's not the show's fault if people glorify him, and he definitely isn't a Mary Sue.

Also I should mention that Memory Rick, was horrified that he was eventually going to become Rick, and even called Rick his "all too real cautionary tale from the future" Rick isn't meant to be a good person or meant to be idolized. The person that wrote this article needs media literacy.

4. "Morty is genuinely a pointless character"

The summary is basically what the caption says. They call Morty pointless, saying he doesn't do anything. They DID NOT just say that about my boy. Morty is anything but pointless, he creates the conflict for some episode (Mortynight Run, Rattlesnake Ricklatica, That's Amorte), solves the conflict in some episodes (Total Rickall, These Ricks must be Crazy, Get Schwifty), and has episodes that develop him as a character (Look Who's Purging Now, The Rickshank Rickdemption, Fear No Mort, ESPICALLY Fear No Mort) he is far from a useless character, and aside from his trauma not being explored as much as it should, is a pretty good example of a male abuse victim, and is meant to show what happens when someone spends too much time with Rick, he is NOT useless, I do not know what you are smoking, what is it and can I have some? Rick wants some too.

5. "It's not diverse in any way"

Now this is one of the few I can actually understand…except for uhm…one tiny flaw.

The main character is Depressed, Hispanic, Pansexual, and Autistic. And the rest of the family besides maybe Morty are Bisexual, sooooo uhm…

6. "It thinks it's the most intelligent show ever created"

This point is basically saying it has plot holes, tries and fails to outsmart fans, and fans have to spend hours creating fan theories to make sense of the show's plot.

Now, I'm not the best person to talk about plot holes in stories, but the plot always makes sense to me, even after I rewatched it so…so many times. And I never see all too many plot holes, the only one I can really think of is how Rick alternated the memory of his backstory, but the plot episodes always makes sense, and are generally my favorite episodes. And specifically Rick's backstory, makes a lot of Rick's actions make sense, and has a good amount of foreshadowing beforehand.

They also said at the end (It wasn't a point so I'm not listing it as one) that Rick and Morty just has characters that are a bundle of toilet humor and dialogue that could've been written on someone's first acid trip and…huh?

The characters feel very relatable, real, and human. Morty is someone I relate to a lot, and he feels very real, like I could see meeting someone like him in real life, and Rick, despite being a literal sci-fi scientist, feels very real, and I even relate to him which uhm…I shouldn't. Even the characters I don't personally relate to like Summer, Beth, and Jerry, still feel grounded and real in a way, so…yeah.

Overall this article is harmless, it just has some really trashy takes, but again do not harass the person who made this article, it's not their fault their stupid and not smart enough to understand the genius of Rick and Morty…I'M JOKING! But yeah, please do not read this article, and just I dunno go outside and touch grass or smth. Also DON'T watch Big Mouth (This article thinks you should) anyways Byeeeeeeee!

[mitchipedia]

I had a blast Sunday re-reading one of my favorite stories from when I was 12 years old: “Dreams are Sacred,” by a writer named Peter Phillips. It was easy to track down — a quick Google search on the title (which fortunately I remembered) led me to the Internet Archive and a complete scan of the magazine where it was first published: Astounding Science Fiction, September, 1948

The story holds up — it’s exciting, fast-paced and funny.

The hero is Pete Parnell, a fast-talking wisecracking New York sportswriter who is recruited by his friend Steve Blakiston, a psychiatrist, to help with an experimental technique that could cure the madness of a science fiction and fantasy writer named Marsham Craswell. The writer has fallen into an unconscious fugue state and is trapped in an endless dream scenario from his own stories, which resemble Conan the Barbarian or Barsoom.

Fortunately, Blakiston has invented a machine which allows one person to enter another’s dream. Parnell is tapped for the job of curing Blakiston because Parnell is the fastest-thinking and hardest-headed person Blakiston knows.

Supporting characters include a friendly cop with an Irish accent straight out of cartoons, a surly cab driver and a sexy lounge singer.

I found the story every bit as enjoyable as I did when I was 12 years old. Old-fashioned? Sure! That’s part of the fun.

Phillips, the author, was no New Yorker — he was English. He was a newspaperman who wrote about two dozen science fiction stories. He died in 2012, age 92. In addition to “Dreams are Sacred,” he also wrote another story I loved when I was a boy, “Manna,” about a stack of canned super-food that gets transported accidentally back in time to a medieval monastery. Hilarity ensues.

More on Phillips here, including some wonderful old magazine and book covers.

Astounding Science Fiction, the magazine “Dreams are Sacred” appeared in, was founded in 1930, with the delicious title, “Astounding Stories of Super-Science.” Beginning in 1939, under editor John Campbell, Astounding published groundbreaking writers including Isaac Asimov and Robert A. Heinlein. The magazine changed its name to Analog Science Fact & Fiction in 1960 and still publishes today, under the name Analog Science Fiction & Fact.

Also last weekend, I re-read another favorite from the same period, “The Push of a Finger," by Alfred Bester. And I downloaded one more, “Farewell to the Master,” by Harry Bates, which was the basis for the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still.”

I read all three stories when I was a boy, in the fat, two-volume anthology, “The Astounding-Analog Reader," which I checked out of the East Northport Public Library about a dozen times, every time I was in the mood to re-read it.

All three stories have newspapermen as heroes. I guess those stories made an impression — I have made my career in journalism of one form or another for my entire life. (In addition to those stories, I also devoured Superman, Spider-Man, and especially the Mary Tyler Moore Show and Lou Grant. I wanted to be Lou Grant when I grew up. I still do.)

[wherewhereare]

@formerdetective 's View on the TIWTTFL bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a Trilogy (Part 3 of 3 parts)

1.1.1  Splash (Part 3 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog. Everything is [sic]

So my interpretation of the song comes in the context of all the other things we know. Splash was July, then I’m pretty sure Getting Warmer was in early September, and then Make Me Like You, Misery were September 22 & 23, and Truth was October 23. Also in mid and late September, Blake and Gwen both said some pretty cool/magical things were happening in their lives during interviews. 

So anyway that’s kind of where I’m coming from with this analysis. To me, the emotional vibe is the most like Getting Warmer. I recommend listening to that right before this for more of Gwen’s mental state. BTW oh my God this is so long because this song is soooo heavy. so be prepared.

Splash

I’m awakening like a rosebud flowering

So, I have no idea if Gwen meant to be this deep or if she just described what she felt like, but I was getting some like, modern art symbolism vibes so I googled rose bud flowering, and this came up: 

Rose Bud Flower Meaning… The Rosebud means anticipation and the opening of the heart and spirit to treasured dreams and fulfillment of desires. Rosebuds are also a symbol of new love and an invitation to friendship, courting and romance. Rosebud flower is in harmony with the heart of chakra.

This is exactly what I think this song is about. And remember what Gwen said on Facebook, that it was a cleansing song, and she did a lot of soul searching while listening to it and when she got back from Montana (and listening to it for her whole vacation) “her life changed forever.” 

I think the whole song is about how she’s really healed enough that now she’s thinking more about the excitement of Blake and a new relationship than all the anger she was feeling before. In other words, she was ready to take a chance and be with him. 

Look at me, I’m turning on, busting like a neon

Just like flowering, she’s turning on… she’s ready. And busting like a neon, well, that’s just a blatant reference to her fave Blake Shelton song. 

Flickering on again, lightning in the dark

Her interest in romance and any kind of sexual relationship had been gone for a long time…like longer than just the few months since her separation, I think it’s safe to assume. But now she’s starting to come back to life “flickering on again” means maybe she’s not TOTALLY there but it’s happening. Same with flowering above, actually, she’s not completely blossomed but she’s getting there.

And I love “lightning in the dark” because literally he was this burst of light in her darkest time. 

You’re helping me forget/What is this?

She literally was not expecting him at all and is completely blindsided by the fact that she’s gone from being at her absolute worst, emotionally/mentally, to falling in love all of a sudden. like literally what is this?

Gonna break out my cocoon

And as a result, he’s helping her come out of her shell and become the person she wants to be instead of the ghost-like person she had been feeling like for such a long time (again longer than just her separation). And not just him, but songwriting and the voice and plenty of things, this was SO important for her. She referenced it so many times and even named her LLC this. That’s how important it was to her that she was finally coming back to life. And understandably. ugh. my baby.

I’m gonna take a risk, skinny dip

So, I can’t decide if this is an allusion to something that actually happened or they talked about, or it’s just an example of something that’s both sexy and risky. Or maybe he goes along with the water theme…that maybe is it. She’s diving in in the most vulnerable way possible (naked). 

Cause I see you’re on the loose

So, it’s no secret one of my favorite things in Shefani Science is their obvious crushes on each other in season 7. They have always been drawn to each other and enamored with each other, and Gwen especially has always seemed quite taken with him.

So just imagine. This guy you’ve always had feelings for, like maybe innocent jr. high style ones, Maybe “sigh if only” ones, maybe “wow I like him so much” ones, who knows but whichever, you had feelings for this guy, and you kind of felt like he was into you too, but regardless nothing was ever gonna happen because for better or (literally) for worse, you were both unavailable. And then all of a sudden you find out this guy is not only going through exactly what you went through, so you have tons in common and are bonding even more than before, but that shared experience means he is available. 

He’s not married anymore, which means if she wants to take a chance with him, she has the opportunity to do that. He’s there, he’s willing, it’s up to her to take the chance. 

Gonna lasso you, gonna lasso you

And that’s what she wants to do. I love love love this cowboy reference so much, in case there was any question about who she was singing about. She’s gonna snatch him and pull him into her. Hot. 

Gonna get some pleasure, together

This one is probably self-explanatory… but also in addition to being like… sexy fun times pleasure, the together is important. It’s not like Gwen is looking for someone to take her mind off things. Blake accidentally took her mind off things because he’s what she’s thinking about now. In Obsessed she refers to him as a distraction, but she’s really trying to convince herself that’s what’s up. And now she’s accepting that’s not what this is. It’s a real thing. 

Must be a sign/All the energy’s pulling me right back to you

So, I’m not positive when she wrote this, but it has to have been sometime in July… my guess is the back half of July. And up until that point, they’ve been spending a bunch of time together. I personally think they’ve already made out, maybe done some heavy petting or whatever…  (because of obsessed and CHTF) and now she wants more. There’s some kind of cosmic, magnetic energy that’s telling her she belongs with him, she can’t get enough of him, she wants to be with him (both literally and figuratively). It’s not just a fun distraction… the universe or at least her brain is telling her to keep up what they’re doing. 

Tonight, gonna bottle you up and wear it like perfume

So now she’s ready. She wants him with her from now on. And she wants him to be close to her, like perfume is something that you absorb through your skin and then it lingers. That’s what she wants from him. She wants him to stay. And I think there’s some sexual implications as well. She wants him on her skin. 

Alright, we going in, it’s what we’re supposed to do/ Tonight, open wide

Open wide could mean a bunch of different things. Open wide, like here I come or open wide like give yourself to me…like open arms. And open wide like, again…let’s go for it! 

Splash, I’m diving in/Diving in, I’m diving in

So, she’s going for it. She’s not wading in, testing the waters anymore, she’s just gonna take a chance and do it. Headfirst. She’s going for it. And it doesn’t even have to be pretty. She expects the “splash”, you know? But she’s ready to move on. 

I think the whole skinny dip, splash, diving…all this aquatic symbolism is important because it’s cleansing. Kind of like baptism, water has always had that feeling of rebirth. Starting fresh. And she’s ready to get going with cleansing herself of the old mess and starting fresh with something new, because that’s “what she’s supposed to do.” Literally she feels like it is not even really a choice, it’s what’s happening.

I’m re-surfacing, a brand new oxygen/Look at me, I’m letting go

And then when she dives in, she’ll come up and the air is fresher. Diving in with Blake is going to be so good for her not only because she likes him so much but also because it’s time to move on. 

A rising Kundalini

So, Kundalini, in this context, is referring to a coiled energy that lies dormant at your base, beneath the root chakra (the trust chakra, FYI). Kundalini is released during a really intense event (often associated with sex but not necessary) and when it rises it travels up through all the chakras (they run along the central nervous system, basically) and when it is risen your kundalini awakens and you reach full enlightenment. It’s an incredibly spiritual experience, that sort of helps bond you with the universe. Basically, this line is super intense. She feels like Blake and her have something literally spiritual. 

I’m breathing you, breathing me

This is about togetherness, I think, and it goes along with the idea of yoga/meditation/kundalini. But breathing is crucial you know? And also, basic. He’s a part of her now.

Going with the flow

Another water reference. This is natural, what’s happening between them. It’s supposed to happen and she’s rolling with it. 

Damn anon I did not mean to get this intense but that’s how we do…

[crystalflygeo]

banging my fists on the table, peeling the paint off of the walls, shattering concrete… you are so real for that full dragon zhongli fic. morally dubious my cock and balls it’s hot and sexy!!! all of my knowledge on reptilian dicks comes from friends with science majors and degrees who have been victim to my monsterfucking rants. anyways…

first, science and math: functioning under the assumption that zhongli is naturally hung, at a reasonable 9 inches, we can extrapolate the size of rex lapis’ cocks based on the size and mass of the exuvia. i’ll save you all of the details but this means both of rex lapis’ cocks, according to the exuvia, sit at a healthy ☆*: 39.5inches :*☆!!! how fun!!! truly a pair of gut destroyers.

the fun stuff: his cocks have wonderful texture to them. ridges galore, even!!! physiologically it’s unreasonable, and fatal, for any human to take two nearly 40 inch dicks but how can you possibly mind when what can fit is so damn good??? two fat heavy cocks ready to serve!!! full of eggs, let him dump them in you.

LMAOOOOOO thank you!! you are right and you should say it it is hot and sexy hehehe sasdfbnjlks true friendship is ranting about your weird monsterfucking tendencies to your friends amen

that said now-

where are you getting these measurements ma'am omg

unpopular opinion (?) but I don't really like it when ppl add straight up "measurements" into smut, not only bc they tend to be wildly unrealistic (yes yes, says the person writing about dragon dick I'm aware) but also because... I just find it unsexy? lmaoooo I like to leave things up to the reader's imagination and interpretation and as someone who uses metric system idek how many is "x inches" at any given time and it just makes me want to search for a ruler //HIT

I do also love to think Zhongli is hung sure sure -w- big ehehe but 9-12 inches is not reasonable HAHAHAHA omg bye

now as for the dragon thing...

I live and breathe by the headcanon that Zhongli can shapeshift yes, and that includes the size of the Exuvia's vessel because we have, in fact, already SEEN the Exuvia in different sizes

those two dragons are most definitely NOT the same size

sorry how did the Qixing not notice? 🤣🤣🤣

this is more fuckable size, I think//hit Probs same model as the one at the rite

anyway lmaoooo why did I go so deep into this pls don't get upset or anything It's all in light fun I swear <3 but I will stand my ground that he can change size I kinda jump back and forth with different ideas about his dragon form yes yes

BUT YEAH I LIVE FOR THEM RIDGES AND TEXTURE HMMMMM massaging and pushing/pulling at your insides ehe yessss two fat heavy dragon cocks yesssssssssss eggs and lots and lots of cum <3

[a-menaceinpink]

i literally just finished reading ta6 so i have a lot of thoughts about it, in no particular order:

Callum irritates me. he's portraying himself as a cackling supervillain and yet rarely if ever does cackling supervillain things. mostly he just complains about everyone being too boring for him to bother with (meanwhile he's a white south african heir of greek royalty ... sir your inner monologue is classist in the extreme)

Tristan also irritates me, but for different reasons. he's incredibly whiny. and not like sopping wet pathetic little meow meow like just whiny and pathetic. complains about not knowing about himself or his powers but never does anything about it or searches for answers. no spine. refuses to give even a hint of a tragic backstory.

Reina my aroace queen <333 she was so undeveloped here it's insane but EYE saw her crazy powerful abilities and burgeoning god complex. EYE love her. everybody who didn't, skill issue. wish she had more screentime but i do remember liking her plot in the next one. also the plant monologue to her is really fun bc i too would be crazyyyyyy annoyed by that

Nico straightforward king. liked him less this time around than the last time but i think its bc he has less like. depth? mystery? than some of the others. sweet charming king tho, i love him and gideon

Parisa oh my god. oh my GOD. do i want to be her or be with her. unclear. both. she could kill me and i'd thank her. telepath, ruthless, ambitious, manipulative. what's not to love (except for her fixation on dalton like .. girl get up you can do better than this i know his mind is a puzzle but still :/)

i love libby (maybe a little too much, rip me) and i wish yall would stop talking ab her damn hair is NOT that big of a deal!! get a life!! don't yall have murder to be worried about, why are you so worried that libby likes to ask questions!!

this is very much a character-driven book. it runs on vibes and sexiness alone (i'm being so serious here). if you like a plot-driven book, now is the time to bow out because it only gets worse

the science in this book is kind of fun but very fantasy, if you catch my drift. very much, using science principles in the service of explaining the magic system (which is still very... undefined? world-building could use some work tbh)

ultimately, i am seeing how this book both did and didn't set itseulf up for success in the second book. it has a good cliffhanger, it introduces a unique setting and unique, fleshed out characters, but it fails to introduce an overarching plot problem. something that warrants this being a trilogy and not just a magical murder mystery.

it's also incredibly up its own ass about EVERYTHING so if you're really anti-pretentious writing you will dislike this book

and again, this is just the story of a love-hate platonic-romantic queer polycule that may or may not kill each other. and the book rides off that pretty heavily

[accidentalspaceexplorer]

2023 Book Reviews: Science Fiction, Part 1

Third round-up of books I've read this year! This time we're diving into sci-fi, with again a pretty mixed bag (although I loved The Kaiju Preservation Society!)

1. In the Quick by Kate Hope Day: 3/5

Pitch: philosophical SF; girl searches for a missing space ship crew with her uncle's former student

Review: This was recommended to me by the Storygraph algorithm, and it sounded really good! Unfortunately I liked the beginning part of this book more than I liked the end, and two weeks later most of my thoughts were confusion about why the relationships were handled the way they were, and I'd forgotten most of the rest of it. Not a hit, but it had its moments. (Current me stepping in to say that I've almost completely forgotten this now, to the extent that I have no idea what I liked about the beginning anymore...)

2. The Million by Karl Schroeder: 3/5

Pitch: a million people take care of Earth so that every thirty years the other ten billion humans can wake up & party; definitely-not-supposed-to-be-there teen has to solve his "father's" murder without revealing his identity

Review: This was interesting, but it didn't end up being more than that for me. Although I found the concept interesting, I found the ending felt very rushed, and the big character decision didn't feel like it made sense emotionally or that there was enough textual basis to set up it being necessary.

3. The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi: 4.5/5

Pitch: guy looking for a new job ends up signing up to protect kaiju on an alternate-Earth

Review: In his author's note, Scalzi describes this book as a pop song - catchy and fun - and I'd definitely say that's an apt comparison! I had a great time with this, loved reading it, but I doubt it'll stay with me for a long time. I'm likely to recommend it though on the strength of the worldbuilding and fun science shenanigans!

4. Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie Williams: 2/5

Pitch: quick fix machine can tell you what you need to be happy - but can it really???

Review: Once again, proof that my taste in books in 2018 is not up to snuff anymore. I had moved this up to the top of my TBR in 2018 and never made it to it, and I finally got around to it, only to be disappointed. This didn't feel profound, just stupid, and while there were a few storylines I enjoyed, there were a lot that I didn't care about or that actively annoyed me. I'm sure the ending for Pearl is supposed to be profound somehow, that everything in this book is supposed to be a meaningful discussion of capitalism or the alienation of man or something but honestly I just couldn't care less. Not my kind of book

5. You Sexy Thing by Cat Rambo: 4/5

Pitch: retired Admiral in sketchy galactic empire just wants to run a restaurant and stay retired, but ends up running for her life again

Review: It's got a fabulous concept, and this was definitely fun - I liked a lot of the characters in this, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens down the line for them. However, the constantly bouncing perspectives didn't work well for me, and I was clearly supposed to feel more about some of the events of the book than I did, probably because I wasn't attached to the characters as much as I was supposed to. Ultimately, this was fun and I'll definitely read the sequel, but it also isn't a new favorite.

[thewarriorspecial]

Ok so

I might’ve fallen asleep with my catters a couple times but LOOK WHO FINISHED A WIP! Listen. Making Her Squirm is older than the original draft of Dress Up, ok? We made it. We’re here. 

If you’re interested, here’s a glimpse at some of the other things I’m trying to wrangle down out of my head:

There is so much guyhal up in this bitch right now. They fight a lot. It is very loud in here. 

As I mentioned I am working an entire piece around the fact that I can't get over the stitch-up scene in Violent Night. Hal is STILL harboring a crush on Guy after so many years and watching Guy stitch himself up just pokes the already awakened feelings within.

Liminal Spaces is a really fun collection of all of my JohnKyle stuff where they talk about art and love and make out a lot. It will be SO MUCH BETTER than the camping one. I totally botched that, I didn't even use the prompt right, just. ugh. Gotta rewrite that one too. Ever cut a pivotal piece of text and then fucking FORGET to paste it where it fits and then it's lost to the aether? Me too.

I have a very short WIP I may just call finished and drop wherein Hal gets lost looking for Guy because one distinct feature of his is suddenly different. It's mostly fluff I guess? This non-PWP-fuck-nasty material is challenging and not in my gutter if you get my meaning.

I have my GuyKyle three-way across the known universe...romp whose working title is Fuck Nasty, Die Never. Thats the one I've been writing since Lonely Nights where they keep finding and fucking their doubles. Its HUGE.

I have a sappy one where Guy picks up on Hal's transfem feelings and wants to learn to dick her down in the most gender affirming way possible.

There's also one with Kyle but if I say too much SPOILERS you can't trust me I ruin movie trailers

I got...involved in GuyKillo. Which led to HalWog. :| RIP my search history. Because you know, what's fun alien biology without a little science to back it up. And you know. Angst. Because we can't just monster fuck it's gotta be PRETTY.

The one where Kyle fucks a space squid. (Did you really think I just made a squid-lantern friends with Kyle and they weren't gonna bang? I didn't forget Squishy.)

A really sweet HalCarol where we watch him fall for the coolest girl he knows and he knows he can't have. Because I listen to too much Lana Del Rey. (come to California be a freak like me/drag racing my little red sports car/etc)

Guy gets his boot camp bondage fantasy fulfilled courtesy of Hal and John

oh and then there's the one where John gets sick of chasing Hal around and puts him in a shock collar with leads to further activities

and lastly the one where John gets irritated that no one tops for him and takes matters into his own cheeks. hands. holes. mm.

I tried to get more of my favorite girls in here and I wanna get back into femslash as well. I need to do more reading on Jess because Jess hot and want sexy rivalry with sexy lady lanterns too. And then I got distracted by Jess/Starfire fanart. So that's in there too.

ANYWAYS. Back to sleep so I can back to work. Thank you for reading all this I'm very excited!

[pexchys]

(PART ONE: PROLOGUE)

A/N---Hi! I have been working on a novel idea for over 7 years now, and I am so excited to finally share it (and actually write it instead of scrapping everything I write) with some people. I've been wanting to write a fantasy, eldrith-esque novel (with dragons, tension, sexy tension ayoo, divinity and science, a magician, princess, and army general) but I have absolutely no idea how to go about sharing it with the world, but if this sounds like something you'd be interested in reading, please support it! These might change, and I have yet to decide on the title of the book because it changes so much, but I would love to hear some thoughts. I am also still getting used to writing on Tumblr. This is the prologue and really the beginning of this writing journey, and I really hope you enjoy it!!

PROLOGUE

Something was in the woods. Watching. Festering. The multiple eyes peered through the leaves, vivid against the unnaturally dark green lush that spread all around it. And then the hunt began.

She was the happiest person in the world. She was the most horrible person in the world. She was everything and nothing all at once.

She had ran, before. The sun had long set, the cool wind beating against her face as she spat out blood that glistened her teeth while her legs ached and her heart pounded. The moon did not grace her with light— faster, faster she ran through the heavy mist that seemingly penetrated right through her lungs. The mist that only could be a blessing and a curse from something older than her gods, before the cosmos birthed and gave way to the lands, before those lands bore witness to the sun’s palest rays, the lazy way the gods but not gods but something older sipped the winds with eyes— those horrible eyes— that glared down at her.

She had shaken the flowers out of her hair; the same ones he put so tenderly, so lovingly, ha! ha! ha! and crushed it between her frayed fingers. The feeling of freedom, the vertigo that comes with it, the only way she tumbled down since he had torn her wings off and left it hanging. She had searched through the forest, her shaking hands wrenching vine after vine, the world so silent and so noisy and the crickets and the cicadas singing their awful, dizzying song that made her sick with the desperate hope of finding him and tearing him to pieces. But first, she would run.

She paused. She felt him. The sickeningly sweet smell that nearly knocked her off her feet. Her lips cracked into a feral smile.

She woke up, her hands pressed against the cool stone. She raised her head to the barred windows, the moon sitting quietly in the distance. He was coming. The Other. The god but not a god but something older.

She pressed her knees close to her chest and waited.

[international-intelligence-inc]

Twenty Year Veteran, Gholamali Khooshroo, Iranian Ambassador to United Nations in (NYC) Confesses Amazing Revelations To Me While WE Studied Together in NYC Over Two Year About NUKING THE UK AND USA! WOW JOE BIDEN "DUDE."

SICILY JOHN!

BYE BYE BABY! 

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BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE BIO/4694 17 FEBRUARY 2015

New Permanent Representative of Iran Presents Credentials

 Golamali, always told me to call him "AMIR." IRAN IS MY "FRIEND AND CLOSEST ALLY WHO HELPED ME WHEN NOT EVEN THE USA OR MY "FAMILY." WHEN THE NEW SCHOOL FOR SOCIAL RESEARCH THREW ME OUT FOR MY ANTI BILL CLINTON POLITICAL OPINIONS, IRAN, AND THAT COUNTRY VIA "GOLAMALI," WROTE A LETTER TO ME TO GET INTO FAIRLIEGH DICKINSON UNIVERSITY WHERE THE AMBASSADOR'S BUDDY RAN THE ENTIRE POLITICAL SCIENCE DEPT. THERE AT FDU. Golamali, lived in, Hackensack, NJ, himself then.

Too bad for the, CIA, they can not "communicate with Iran," and never thought I was "good enough," to "negotiate with Iran for them lol CIA." You need someone like me.

Golamali Khoshroo, confessed to me privately as far back as 1999, Iran is just "itching to nuke not , Israel, first! ((SURPRISE JOE BIDEN AND NID AVRIL HAINES HA HA HA! JILL L STARR GETS THE NEWS FIRST ON YOU UK USA AND APPARENTLY IT IS ALSO CANADA THE NUMBER THREE FIRST COUNTRIES TO "GET NUKED FIRST BY "IRAN."

HIS EXCELLENCY -> MR, GOLAMALI, HAS GOOD REASONS' TO NUKE U SA UK T HEN CANADA! I "VOUGE FOR IRAN NOT, YOU CIA!" I AM BEING "OBJECTIVE , AVRIL HAINES."

AND WATCH IT "VATICAN!!" APPARENTLY, YOU NEVER REPAID IRAN BACK FOR THE CRUCADES ANY MORE THAN ISRAEL AND UK USA AND THE VATICAN EVER PAID ANY WWII "JEWS," BACK FOR WII THAN THE "VATICAN," DID THE "CRUSCADES.

IRAN TELLS ME "THE VATICAN IS GONNA GET BOMBED AND THE POPE KILLED TOO SETTLE THE CRUCADES / PALESTINIAN SCORE!"

OH! THAN.."IRAN, INFORMS ME, "NEXT EVERY SECULAR NATO STATE NOT HAVING A STATE RELIGION LIKE , RUSSIA, GREECE ETC., AN ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN ONE , LIKE I DO (RUSSIAN AMERICAN) HAVE TO BE NUKED NEXT AND EVERY SINGLE STATE AND ROMAN CATHOLIC MUST BE EXTERMINATED!"

OH ! " AND PUTIN HAS BEEN ARMING IRAN WITH THE LARGEST NUKES IN OVER 40 YEARS NOW KNOW THAT IS A FACT CIA! SO SORRY.

THINK YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT JILL STARR JOE BIDEN AND CIA MI6 DO IT! BYE BYE.

I HATE TO GIVE" YOU THE DISAPPOINTING NEWS GERMAN AMBASSADOR IN NYC!

BUT GERMANY/ANGELA MERKEL -> WE BOTH UNDERSTAND DIPLOMACY IS RECIPROCOL.

WHILE "IRAN IS AT IT! I HEARD THRU THE GRAPEVINE,THE,NETHERLANDS HAS A .. ROMAN CATHOLIC ROYAL FA MILY, SERGE BRAMMERTZ? HA HA HA I GUESS YOU . HAVE TO GO TO BARON VON BRAMMERTZ IF IT S TRUE YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN DUDE!

SEXY JILL SHOOTER IN THE HEAD DADDY SAYS!" "ANGELA MERKEL, GENIUS CHEMIST, FORMER FRIEND OF MY FORMER DECEASED FIANCEE ,ARNOLD STARK, FROM, MAPLEWOOD, KNEW YOU ! ANYWAY THE POINT HERE, GERMANY, IS, "WHEN I CALLED YOU UP FOR THAT UNITED NATIONS CLERK POSITION A FEW YEARS BACK FROM CLIFTON, THE , GERMAN AMBASSADOR, CALLED MEME BACK IN CLIFTON NJ IN 5 MINUTES AFTER I SUBMITTED MY CLERK UN GERMANY POSITION.

HE "GAVE ME, JILLY, THE DISAPPOINTING NEWS, I, JILL STARR, WILL NEVER WORK FOR THE UNITED NATIONS IN NYC EVER AGAIN BECAUSE, ANGELA MERKEL, GERMANY, BLAMES ME FOR NOT TACKLING ALL THREE WANTED SERBIAN WAR CRIMINALS in 2002 IN SERBIA AND FLYING THEM TO THE HAGUE WAR CRIMES COURT FOR TRIAL ON MY IMAGINARY PRIVATE JET!" SCREW YOU MERKEL BITCH!" AND GERMAN AMBASSADOR, SAYS, I OWE , GERMANY , BILLIONS OF GERMAN MARKS TO REPAY HIS GERMANY! WE ARE " A BAD FIT!" HA HA

" PERSONALLY, IA M ON< SERBIA'S SIDE AND THE JEWISH SIDE I AM FIRST AND FOREMOST JEWISH HA HA HA AND I AM NOT A SPY AND TO PROVE IT, I WILL TRAVEL TO SPEAK TO GOLAMALI ABOUT ALL THIS IN IRAN TOMORROW CIA TO TEACH YOU A LESSON AND IF >>GERMANY, VATICAN AND CROATIA AND ITALY (SICILY) GOES TOMORROW, FOR WWII REPARATIONS TO "US ALL AND AND HAVE TO GO FIRST, ASK ME AND SERBIA IF WE REALLY GIVE A DAMN "FRANKLY WE DONE CARE ALL THAT MUCH!." YOU KNOW, MILOS DJUKANOVIC, WANTS TO EXPAND HIS EMPIRE, BUDVA, ACROSS THAT, ADRIATIC HUDSON, INTO SICILY! HA HA HA!

AND, " I HATE TO GIVE THE , SICILIAN/ROMAN CATHOLIC PRINCESS, IN, SICILY, AND, ALL YOU ABUSIVE/DAMN ROMAN CATHOLICS LIKE "JOHN ON HARDING AVENUE AROUND HERE ABUSING ME....TISK TISK TISK, YOUR DAMNING OWN BAD NEWS NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION, GET THIS LA COSA NOSTRA TYPES-> "ONCE AND IF IRAN BLOWS UP AND GIVES ALL YOU MOTHER *UCKERS SOME , HEZBOLLAH HELL, MAYBE YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE, HARRY J SHORTWAY! YOU WILL WHEN YOU ARE NOT A ROUND! LOL

AS "FURTHER EVIDENCE THIS IS REALLY THE "POSSIBLE DEMISE OF SICILY, GET THIS> ...PUTIN HAS HYPERSONIC NUKES RIGHT N BELGRADE IN TOPCIDER REPUBLIKA SRPSKA, N, BOSNIA, AND PROBABLY MONTENGRO AND TO DO WHAT ? TO TAKE OUT NEW YORK CITY AT HYPERSONIC, VLADIMIR PUTIN SPEED SURPRISE CIA! JOE BIDEN.

" ALLOW ME TO GIVE NATO ITS' BAD NEWS TODAY AND GERMANY HA HA HA YOU HAVE PUTINS' LARGEST NUKES AIMED AND ALL READY TO TAKE YO UALL OUT SECULAR STATES' IN BEOGRAD AND I AM NOT HELPING YOU I KNOW THING BUT SCREW YOU! MAKE ME! PAY ME OFF! DO NOT TAKE BRIBES BRAMMERTZ HA HA HA TOO BAD HUH?

I AM A GOOD GIRL.

HERE THINK ABOUT IT "ROMAN CATHOLIC'S AND POMPOUS POPE VATICAN LEADER!

IF YOU ARE SO INFALLIBLE "PROVE IT AND ASK GOD TO SAVE YOU FROM BOTH SHIA AND SHITE TERROR DEATH YOURSELF ROMAN CATHOLICS AND JOHN KIDNEY ASSHOLE ON HARDING AVENUE AND JAMES ANZALDI ITALIAN SHIT TO SAVE YOU FROM IRAN MY BUDDY!

DO NOT YOU DARE TRY TO RAPE IRAN OF THEIR OIL AND A ECONOMIC SANCTIONS THEM INTO SOME " FUCKING BLASPHEMOUS BIKINI PARADISE JOE BIDEN." GOOD LUCK ON YOUR LATEST MAKE A WHORE HOUSE OF DUBAI AND IRAN HA HAHA SAUDI KING, KNOWS YOU WANT TO TAKE HM OUT TO AN DYOU WSH YOU COULD! I KNOW HIM. DO IT ALONE CIA MI6 WONT SAVE YOU SAVE YOUT NUCLEAR BOMBNIG SERBAN ASSES YOURSELVES! CHECKMATE

WHEN YOU HAVE WHAT DO, YOU DONT NEED MONEY TO BE A WORLD MOVER AND SHAKER AM JUST LIKE MY DADDY AND EVERY PRESIDENT N WORLD KNOWS ME AND CIA PLAYER IRV STARR EVEN PUTIN. HI VLAD!

Hypersonic weapons are capable of flying faster than Mach 5 — much faster than the speed of sound — and can maneuver between varying altitudes and azimuths, making it harder to detect.

(Based on information provided by the Protocol and Liaison Service)

The new Permanent Representative of Iran to the United Nations, Gholamali Khoshroo, presented his credentials to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon today.

Avangard

There are currently two hypersonic missiles with the Russian military: the Avangard and the Kinzhal. The former is a nuclear-capable missile reportedly able to fly faster than 20 times the speed of sound. The first Avangard infrastructure was set up in December 2019. AND THEY ARE IN BELGRADE SERBIA A "HOP A SKIP AND JUMP FROM NYC AT THAT SPEED  MAY BE DOOMED TO BUT PUTIN WILL  PROBABLY I HOPE GET ME AND BIGGIE OUT ALIVE," I DONT KNOW?

Prior to his appointment, Mr. Khoshroo was his country’s Ambassador to Switzerland. From 2005 to 2014, he was Assistant Secretary General of the Asian Parliamentary Assembly, after having served as Deputy Foreign Minister for Legal and International Affairs from 2002 to 2005.

Mr. Khoshroo was Ambassador to Australia from 1999 to 2002, before which he served as Deputy Foreign Minister for Research and Training from 1997 to 1999. From 1989 to 1995, Mr. Khoshroo was Deputy Permanent Representative to the United Nations. He served two terms, from 1981 to 1989 and 1995 to 1997, as Dean of the School for International Relations, affiliated with Iran’s Foreign Ministry.

Mr. Khoshroo holds degrees from Tehran University and the New School of Social Research in New York, and has published several articles and books on political and cultural affairs.

Born on 16 January 1955, he is married and has four children.