#I did a long time ago only to realize my writing and spelling hasn't made sense ever and has always had serious typos along with

[femmeboyhooters]

You ever wonder how deep the disociative fugue goes?

[maryellencarter]

1. haha no

2. Probably Leia

3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA let's say there are a surprising number of choices I don't regret

4. Duh, who isn't on this bitch of a website

5. I has a Leia

6. Painlessly and after having done as much fun shit as possible

7. Strawberry cheese danish

8. Soccer. A little baseball but I don't run well enough.

9. Yup

10. Huh. Longer ago than I realize. I'm always *ready* to fight but it hasn't been necessary in many years

11. I like many people. If the question is "do you have a crush on someone", no

12. 60+, for my sins. There's a point where you get paranoid hallucinations keeping you awake even further

13. Oh yeah, I contain multitudes

14. So many people

15. No. Pets, like children, are too much of a responsibility for me. I like them if their humans will take them away again

16. Sleep deprived. I forgot to charge my CPAP battery and the nightclub across the street is on its usual Saturday night backbeat

17. Have not made out at all

18. I would like them to stay away from me but I'm as scared of hurting them as I am of them hurting me

19. I honestly don't know. I'd miss so many friendships if I did anything different. Causality is weird

20. I have not snogged someone, at least if I understand the term properly (open-mouth kiss?)

21. Be sleep deprived. And hopefully get back to my food stamps application

22. No. I am not psychologically able to be a good parent.

23. None currently. I got my earlobes pierced once but they never healed properly

24. Oh, English by a country mile. Spelling, grammar, analysis, writing, you name it.

25. Yeah

26. Sleep. Also for the temperature to stop getting so cold I have to break out the electric blanket

27. Great question. He probably thought I did? I think it was just his ego. He's obviously over it

28. Not technically, that I know of. Leia has other datemates but we agreed to that up front, and she doesn't have anyone else in my role. And the best we can figure, John dumped his previous ex mere hours before propositioning me, so not *technically* cheating?

29. Oh, probably. Hopefully. He deserved it

30. The difficulty of doing stuff "in bed" comfortably when your bed is a reclined driver's seat of a car

31. She says she does 🥰

32. Blue

33. BWAHAHAHAHA being fair i fucking earned them

34. I don't remember dreams much since I lost my job and don't have to get up on an alarm anymore. I think it was a stress dream about what if my new phone broke

35. Define "in front of". I last cried in a conversation with Leia, but it was over text. Generally I can't cry in front of people unless I'm so overloaded with stress that I shouldn't even *be* around people

36. Yep, right up until I snap and it's zero chances ever again

37. I have a near-eidetic memory and a deeply ingrained aversion to the ways forgiveness gets demanded of victims. I will take option three, "hit the bricks"

38. Christ, it better fucking not be. I deserve better than this

39. I was 36

40. Yeah

41. ... questions 41 through 50 appear to be missing, huh

51. Hard to choose, but Panera mac and cheese is right up there

52. No, and anybody who tries that shit on me in person can get cornered into a trauma-dump that won't end until I lose my voice

53. Turned on my CPAP machine

54. Really depends on the definition of cheating, and also whether you're talking about in relationships or on tests. There are plenty of people to whom any nonmonogamy is cheating

55. No. I'm too softhearted

56. Dear lord, I lost count by the time I was three. This is why I'm kind of baffled that it's been so long

57. Strongly depends on your definition. True as in faithful? As in one-and-only? As in at-first-sight? Something else?

58. "October's bright blue weather"

59. Hell yes. I missed it so much when I lived out Southwest

60. Not for legal purposes, but I'd like to have a handfasting or similar ceremony someday if we can ever afford it. I get jealous when my friends get married because I want to also have a day that's all about how much we love each other. And a really fancy dress

61. When Leia does, sure. Or a Southerner or drag queen who can pull it off. Random old men hitting on me, no

62. Lots of things. Music. Sunshine. Thunderstorms. Knitting. Geology. My shows and blorbos. Leia

63. Already have done and will again

64. Not clear on the question. If she was here it would be very easy for me to kiss her. But she is not here, and it would be more difficult for other people to kiss her

65. My best... look, opposite *sex* is a complicated enough concept when I'm technically intersex... but if you go to "best friend of the opposite AGAB", I think I only have three or four friends at most who fit the description? And my first thought is the one I've known the longest, who... I don't think does relationships? He certainly doesn't talk about them. So I just go sort of brain-broken out of the starting gate and do not have an answer. I suppose for argument's sake we'd discuss it like grown adults, as we have other things?

66. This quiz has gone weirdly heterosexual, huh. Same definitions as before, same friend has seen (and encouraged) me being on my bullshit for what has to be about fourteen years now, it'd have to be something pretty stiff to override that

67. I have absolutely no fucking idea? I mean, I was talking to Logan at the beginning of this quiz, he dropped by to poke me about being too attached to my regrets because that's one of his things. But he's fictionary and also in my head

68. That really depends on how you define deep. Maybe Kat?

69. I'd better, I have one ^_^ I've always been really against the concept of soulmates, because what if you never find them? Any relationship can work if both parties put in the effort. And yet... here she is, exactly what I wanted from the time I knew I wanted anything, exactly who I knew was missing and ached to find. I never used to want to believe in reincarnation because my life was so miserable that any other incarnation would have been preferable, but now I hope I find her in every life

70. Yeah, but she'd kick my ass for it 😘 I have to go on living and enjoy life, even if I lose her. That'll be infinitely harder. (I don't think I could write again. That or I'd go back to writing 500-word depression vignettes)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[wolfish-trickster]

Young Oak Sapling

Part 2 to this (I seriously need to stop writing accidental multichapter fics...)

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1,7K

Warnings: typos (as always), angst, fluff (it's there, I promise!)

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @forevernthensome @kozkaboi

A/N: this is really messy, i'm sorry

'You have always been like a little sister I always wanted. I'm so sorry, we can still be friends'

For some unknown reason he kept having dreams about that one evening. 'Dreams,' he would scoff, 'more like nightmares.' They always end horribly. Either with you never talking to him again out of shame or him delivering those lines not so gently.

Loki couldn't understand why he kept dreaming about it. About her. How the light in her eyes slowly died when he told her. He told her the truth, right? It was the right thing to do, right?

*

She was hanging out with that soldier again. Loki's mouth twisted into disgusted grimace when he spot how he put his arm around her shoulders, how she held the single dandelion he gave her. A dandelion? Please, he couldn't really fall that low to give a lady some common weed, could he? A lady with such charm and class like Y/N deserves a dozen roses for every day she blessed this world with her smile and laugh.

Loki's eyes widened. Why was he thinking of her like that so suddenly? He never thought of her like that before. No. She's just a friend. Like his little sister. That's what he told her. She believed him. Now he has to believe it himself.

*

Sudden rain drove Loki away from his new favourite sitting spot in the corner of the garden. The oak stump. If only he kept a part of the tree. A twig or a leaf. He would've carried it around like a talisman. Or acorn, so he could grow another oak, even though it wouldn't be the same one.

His mind was on autopilot, he didn't even realize his legs carried him to your bedroom door. He stood there like a statue. Listening for any sounds. For any voices. He heard nothing. You must be somewhere else. That realization made him even more anxious. You could be with that soldier again. He can't have that.

He walked to only place he could always find you: library. As he wanted to open the heavy door you ran into him, colliding into his chest.

"Sorry-" your relax expression changed when you looked up into his eyes

"Hi," he smiled softly.

"Hello," you greeted, but without a smile. You tried to walk by him when he stopped you with his hand on your shoulder.

"Why are you running away from me?"

"I'm not. It's just.... this," you gestured between him and you, "it's awkward."

"Oh, so you avoid me, your oldest friend, and spend your entire day with Hofferson then," Loki crossed his arms on his chest.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date or something?" you pushed yourself pass him, poison in your voice.

"Aren't you supposed to spend some time with me too?"

"I can't Loki. I'm trying to get rid of all of my feelings for you! I can't be near you if I want it to work!" you nearly screamed in his face.

Those words hurt Loki more than he thought. "Getting rid of ALL feelings? So you're trying to hate me then."

"No! Understand that I can't be friends with someone I love!"

"Platonic love exists too, you know," Loki remarked.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever. I don't want to argue with you anymore, I'm going."

"Where?" he asked as you escaped him.

"To someone that cares about me, and not just platonicly!" you shouted behind your back and ran.

*

He hasn't had a word or a single alone time with you since then. You were always near that soldier, always talking to him, hugging him, hanging on his arm all the time.

Loki felt nausea whenever he saw Y/N with anyone but him. He wasn't used to seeing Y/N with other men, she was always near him. He missed her. Her laugh, her smile, her hugs. Everything.

No matter how many girls or boys he came across on streets, none of them could ever take your place. None of them smiled as brightly or as truly as you always did. Even when he was telling you about anyone he was interested in, you still smiled and wished him well with the person. You wanted him to be happy, even if it hurt you.

So why can't he do the same? Be happy you're with someone who will love you? Instead he grits his teeth whenever he sees the two of you together. Why does he want you all to himself? Why the thought of you being with someone else makes him throw up?

Loki sighed and held his head in his hands. It is true what they say. You'll realize you love somebody only after you lose them.

*

He felt like a coward. Standing in front of your bedroom door, with heart anxiously pounding in his chest.

Loki took a deep breath and knocked. No one answered. You must be out again. With him.

He shook the thought away and opened the door. If anything, he'll at least be able to give you a message without having to look into your eyes. While he was looking for a piece of paper and a pen around your room he noticed a new pot on your windowsill. It was brown and smaller than the rest with a single tiny green sprout sticking from the dirt.

Loki took the pot in his hand, it was small enough to fit into his palm. He smiled. It was so tiny and fragile. He wondered what kind of plant it was.

Before he could use one of the runes to find out a door creaked open behind him. "What are you doing here?" you asked. He was so startled by you catching him he couldn't even deduce if you were angry or surprised to see him.

"I-I wanted to talk to you," he turned towards you.

You looked at his hand. "Why are you holding it? Put it back, you might break it!" before he could even move you rushed to him, took the pot from his hand and held it close to your chest. Could one be jealous when a plant gets a cuddle but her oldest friend doesn't? Apparently Loki could.

"What do you want to talk about? If it's some noble lady I don't want to hear it," you turned your head away from him.

Loki shook his head. "No, it's not a lady."

"Some son of a sailor then?"

"No, I came here to tell you something."

You turned your head back to him. "And what is that?"

Loki took a deep breath. It's now or never. "I came to a realization. And not just a common one. I didn't think my life could be so lonely without you in it. Every single day I've missed you, longed to spend time with you again. Laugh with you. It pained me to see that Hofferson boy with you. Ever since I saw the two of you in the stables I wanted to rip you away from him. Just like I every boy you got close to in our childhood. For a long time I couldn't understand why I wanted you all to myself and no other man. But now I do. It's because I love you. Romantically. Just like you love me," he didn't look away from you. He didn't dare.

You shook your head in disapointment. "You're so selfish, Loki."

He didn't expect that answer. It was far away from anything he was expecting. All blood left his face. "Well, that's what love makes out of person. It makes them selfish, possesive."

"So how come I could let you go after your monthly interests without complaining like you did?"

Loki froze. "Y-you're apparently a better person than me," he picked on his palm.

You hummed. "So...what now?"

Loki took your lack of emotions as a rejection. He concluded he traded places with you. Now you were the one without romantic feelings and he was the one being rejected.

He couldn't keep looking at the love of his life rejecting him. He studied the pot in her hamds instead. "Now? I guess I will have to find a spell to erase all romantic feelings I have for you and wish you all the best with Hoffer-I mean Arne," he thanked all heavens above for his training that didn't let him fall apart in front of you.

You looked at him, fear in your eyes." Why would you do that?"

Loki laughed. It was a bitter one, filled with sadness. "Because you don't love me anymore."

"That's not true," you whispered.

Loki's head snapped up. "What?"

"I-I said that's not true. I never stopped, no matter how much I tried. I even saved a little part of our tree," you said softly and caressed the little sprout.

"That's from the old oak?"

You nodded. "For some reason I couldn't just cut it down and erase its whole existence."

Now Loki knows what it means when a stone falls from someone's heart. "So, that means you still love me?" he asked hopefully.

You nodded. "And you love me too?"

"Of course my love. Can we please start over again?"

"I would love to," you blessed him with your kindest, purest smile.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked a little too excited.

"No," his heart fell to the floor, "you have to kiss me."

Loki sighed from relief. He walked over to you and cupped your cheeks. From up close your eyes were even more beautiful than he noticed the first time he kissed you. He reminded himself to tell you everyday from now on.

And just like that, the history repeated itself. Loki gently placed his lips on yours in a loving kiss. Your head spinned once again just like so many years ago. And one oak tree witnessed it all.

[groovyzombiellama]

Find Each Other

Title: Find Each Other

Requested? Yes.

Plot: You and MGK were dating for a really long time, but break up at a certain point, and start moving on with your lives, dating complete opposites of each other, until you see each other at an event and realize you are still in love with each other

Word count: 1670

—***—

You walked in to the beautifully decorated area where the event was being held, your arm intertwined with your date, who was coincidentally your boyfriend, tall, dark and handsome.You had a huge smile plastered on your face and everyone who would look at you would see the happiness shine from you. And compared to the mess you were just over two years ago, you really were happy. You were also very present in the music industry, so of course you were invited to the event, not knowing if he was gonna show up or not. And by that we're not talking about the man on your arm. and instead about a man very opposite of him, slim, blonde, blue eyed. The man you spent nights crying over when the relationship ended. He was the cause of your hot mess situation from which you needed all this time to recover. And then your eyes landed on a familiar head of blonde hair, instantly taking in a sharp breath. Colson. You and Colson Baker were a very serious couple a while back and all of your friends and family couldn't imagine the possibility of the two of you not ending up married. And that was what you wanted too, you wanted to grow old together and tell your grand-kids stories about your life in music.

But the more famous you both got, the more time you had to spend apart, recording songs, going to shows and tours. At first it was easy, you'd always try and sync your time to be able to see each other or even go on tour together, and the happiness lasted for a few more months, but soon your schedules got so busy that there was no way to keep doing stuff together, and that began to somewhat tear the bond between you and Colson. Sometimes you didn't even know if there was a difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Colson, even though you loved both of his sides, you didn't want him to constantly be in his famous rapper mode, but you knew that you were doing the exact same thing, focusing more of your time to your job than your family. The two of you didn't even have time to sit down with each other and talk or argue, which was good in a way, since that way, you were sparing Casie the grief of seeing you drift away from each other, and maybe even say things you knew for certain that you didn't mean.

So after finally sitting down with Colson and getting to have that talk about where your relationship was going, the two of you realize that it's mostly tapping in place, without any further direction, as if it had just turned back to look at you, and ask what the hell were the two of you doing and to just accept it being over. And with a heavy heart, you did, ending things between you and him, and you promised each other that if there was a chance in the future, you'd find each other anew. You had locked yourself in the studio following the breakup, and focused all your energy on your music, even more of it than before. You didn't eat or sleep for days, feeling the full weight of losing Colson and Casie on your shoulders. Your family and friends have tried their best to pull you out of it, but then a guy came along, the same one you were standing next to at the table tonight, sipping your glass of champagne, only detaching your eyes from your previous love when you could tell your boyfriend was looking at you.

It made you realize just how different they were, and not just by their looks, but their attitude also, and you found so many differences between you and the new girl on his arm. It was as if you were dating polar opposites from each other, and you didn't really know how much of it was deliberate and how much was just pure coincidence. The tall blonde hasn't noticed you yet, but his girl sure did, and you had to think fast, turning to your boyfriend and beginning to take genuine interest in his words. As if on cue, in the exact moment you placed your hand on top of his and he lifted it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on the back of it, Colson turned his head over towards you, following his girlfriends gaze.

She could instantly feel his body tense up when his eyes took in the scene unfolding in his line of sight. You stood at a table to his left, while if you looked up, his left side would be directly in front of you. Upon noticing you, and your new boo flirting at your table, Colson was reminded about how little he was over you. How much he was still infatuated by your mere presence, as everyone else in the room seemed to disappear, leaving just the two of you there, sneaking glances at each other and practically forcing yourselves to see the others. You felt bad about what you were doing to your boyfriend, because you truly cared about him, but after seeing Colson again, your whole love story flashed before your eyes, and almost all you could think of was the way his arms felt around you, and the way his lips tasted. The smile he'd get when his eyes land on you, the same one he had to force himself not to show tonight too. It was as if a giant tornado just blasted through you, leaving you both in pieces, but also leaving you the possibility of putting your lives back the way you wanted. And Colson knew exactly how he wanted to fix up the pieces, placing his current relationship as a part of his life in the middle, between life with you then, and life with you he wanted to start now.

You didn't expect him to show up at your doorstep the next day with a huge bouquet of roses and a box of your favorite chocolates in his hands. But he did. Your breathing became unsteady, knowing your boyfriend was just in the living room, waiting for you to come back so that he could start the movie the two of you were watching again, instead of staring at the two parallel lines on the screen. You lied after hearing him ask you who it was, saying it was one of your friends, who needed your help for a moment, before stepping out, and looking at Colson with pleading eyes, hoping he'd take a hint and leave. But he didn't.

"I know that you care about him. I cared about Chanel too, but after seeing you again, it was clear I was still in love with you. And knowing you as much as I do I can tell you're still in love with me, so just think about it. Try and give us another shot."

He said before handing you the items from his hands softly kissing your forehead and walking away.

You were never this torn about a decision in your life. Your boyfriend knew about Colson, and knew he will always hold a special place in your heart, but you still didn't want to hurt him. However, Colson was not giving up on you and when you came to the studio to record, you saw it covered top to bottom in all kinds of flowers, and each floral arrangement had a different card in it, all of them being Colson pouring out his feelings towards you. The next day, it was your favorite snacks and sweets, and the next just one big teddy bear, with a heart shaped locket dangling from the necklace he was holding in his paws, along with a heart pillow that spelled out 'I love you, now and forever'. Your smile grew by the second as your fingers traced the letters, jumping slightly when you heard a voice behind you. It was your boyfriend.

"You still love him too, don't you? You really don't have to answer, it's pretty evident. You've given me the most wonderful year and a half and I will cherish our every moment for the rest of my life. But you should go where your heart truly is."

You hugged him tightly, a tear slipping from your eye. He wiped it off with his thumb and gave you one last kiss goodbye, stating that he will always be there for you, even as a friend.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life, but I'm glad you are here, and that I can still call you a friend."

You smiled at each other before he gestured his head towards the exit of the studio, and you rushed out. It wasn't the material stuff that made you want to go back to Colson, it was every single one of those letters that showed all the love he still had for you and all the memories the two of you shared. As you halted a taxi and told the driver the directions to Colson's studio, you put the necklace on your neck, feeling excited to be back in his arms. When he saw you at the door, at first he was shocked, but the smile on your face told him everything he needed to know, and mirroring it, he rushed over to you, engulfing you in his arms and spinning you around. After setting you down, you looked in each other's eyes, slowly closing the gap between you for that long awaited kiss. You were back where you both belonged, in each other's arms, finally back together. You smiled at Colson's next words, remembering the promise you two made all that time ago.

"Found you again. I love you so much princess."

"I love you too, so much, baby, and I'm so glad I found you again too."

----***---

I hope you like it anon, I always wonder if I make someone somewhat teary eyed with my writing, not sad, I want all of you to be happy all the time, I just wonder if my work can lure emotions out of someone, so if you had that experience let me know, it would be interesting to hear if you understand.. ❤️

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 30)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29)

Dear Veronica,

Kissing you feels like the start of a new season, the sun in the early morning, and moonlight reflecting on the ocean. There is never a moment that I don’t think about your lips and how they make me feel when they are on mine.

I wish I were kissing you instead of just writing about it.

- L

P.S. You look beautiful today. You always do.

Veronica’s grin breaks through her face as she reads the note again and again. She bites her lip, grinning and embraces the feeling of being the absolute giddy teenage girl that she's come to be.

She’d fallen asleep with a smile the night they'd admitted to wanting them to be real and she'd been falling asleep smiling ever since with memories of his lips on hers and his confession of love playing in her mind. Logan Echolls really should come with a warning label and a list of side-effects; it's barely been a week and she feels addicted.

They’re in Journalism class when he slips her his note, he’s talking to Dick – hands wild and grin blazing as he talks about the upcoming surf competition they’re both sure to participate in when she reads the little poem he’s found for her. She softly smiles as he chatters on and she decidingly puts pen to paper.

Dear Logan,

things that fall

petals

tear drops

snowflakes

rain

stars

tides

eyelids

time

shadows

leaves

the sun

and I,

for you.

She’d seen this little snippet at a time when she'd thought her love unrequited. Ever since Logan had come back into her life and re-familiarised himself with her heart every little love poem, sappy quote, meaningful lyric became about him.

She’d never thought she’d actually share them with him but she hasn't responded to his notes before and she finds herself wanting to know if he'll smile at her note like she does at his.

She glances at his note, biting down on her lip and continues to write.

I love the way I feel when your lips are on mine.

- V

P.S. I wish you were kissing me too.

She folds it up, inks his name on the outside like he does with hers and lets it sit beneath her book as she waits for him to return to his seat beside her.

She hasn't actually given anyone a love note before. She's written her letters but those were just for her and she hadn't been the one to send them out - she didn't get the chance to feel the anticipation brim up inside her as the letters ventured out into the hands of the objects of her once affections.

She thinks that she could slip the note into his book and wait for him to open it but he's Logan and chances are he'll snark his way through class until the bell rings without opening his book. She could slip it into his pocket like he's done before but she doesn't think she can pull it off in the sauve way that he can. She could let it sit in his locker but she wants him to see it as soon as possible because her nerves are building as the note sleeps under her hardcover book.

He spins himself into his seat as Ms Dent begins to talk about layouts and interviews and things that Veronica should be listening to but can't seem to care about; she's got her on-going assignment and she knows she's not going to be asked to submit anything else along with it.

Her eyes find his brown ones between the chaos of their classmates negotiating on their assigned pieces. They're next to each other but not close enough to be touching

It's become devastatingly difficult to not touch him because she wants to feel his skin under the tips of her fingers and she wants to let herself fall in a spell of his fingers against her skin. Her body aches with the memory of his fingers on her neck and his lips on her jaw and it wants more.

She bites on her bottom lip and his eyes are immediately drawn south to her coloured lips that's peach, glossy and sweet - she thinks of his note and how he wishes he were kissing her - she finds herself looking at his lips too.

He looks like he wants to say something, whisper something to her, let his fingers touch her skin but he stays silent and tries to refocus, taking deep breaths and she knows that he's thinking about the four minute heated make out session they had in his car before they had to enter school this morning.

She sucks in a breath and leans closer to him. He moves forward, meeting her half way and she holds out her note for him between two fingers like it's something she's casually doing and she hopes it hides how much thought she's put into the simple act of passing him a little note - an act he's able to do everyday without a second thought.

She doesn't feel too confident about how she gave him the note, her body is jittery and she needs to turn away because his eyes are smouldery and his lips are looking as kissable as ever.

He looks surprised and soft and gentle and happy and she doesn't understand how his name sprawled on a folded side of the piece of paper incites so much of feeling into his brown eyes.

She looks away as he opens her note because as much as she wants to see his reaction to her words, her heart is beating a bit too fast and she's not sure if she can handle seeing his smouldering eyes without kissing him right here in the middle of class.

The minutes drag on to what seems like forever and the moment class is over he pulls her into the girls bathroom, slapping her out of order sign on the door - once again making use of the little red warning sign she initially only used for investigative purposes.

She's propped up on the bathroom counter, legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers - hard, long, needy kisses.

Their hands are tangled around one another, grasping for closeness as they squeeze in their need for each other in the five very short minutes they have until their next class.

They haven't had time to be alone since their confession of wanting their relationship to be real. She's had soccer practice and Heather shaped obligations she's taken on while he's getting ready for surf competitions and accompanying his mother to formal events she'd rather not be alone at. The only time she's gotten to see him when he picks her and Heather up for school, at school and when he drops them home.

All they've had this week were stolen kisses between hours, brushing of hands as they go their separate ways coupled with heated glances from across the hallway. And Logan's little notes. Notes that flame the fires within her and make her feel the ache of not having him to herself now when he's finally hers to have.

They're late to their next class and Veronica's grateful for the tardy slips she's kept from months ago.

--vm--

It's Friday night and there's parties being thrown and appearances needed to be made but Veronica's home baking last minute cookies for Heather and her friends because she's written sleepover on Meg's to-do board that's hung on the side of the fridge and her dad is still working the night shift so she's got supervision duties.

She's working fast, shaping up cookies and baking them as quick as she possibly can. Her hair is a mess, the kitchen is a mess and the once neatly organised planner board is a mess. She remembers Heather swooning about Nutella filled crepes and fruit filled crepes and dozens of other homemade options that she'd had at her last slumber party because Lauren's mother is a perfectionist. Meg's never let them feel disappointment over not having something other kids had, she worked hard at cultivating fancy dishes and napkins and organising entertainment. Veronica wasn't about to be the one that damaged her sister's childhood.

"Ronica? Are you done yet?" Heather asks, tilting her head as she throws her bag on the side of the couch. "I need to be at Ophelia's in like thirty minutes so we have a bit of time before the sleepover."

Veronica's brows furrow, still working on the cookies, trying to be fast and diligent at the same time. "Why doesn't she come over here? I mean wouldn't that be easier?"

Her sister shoots her a quizzical look, plopping on a bar stole and stealing a bit of cookie dough. "Uhm no, we're staying over at her place, I told you this last week."

"Wait," Veronica stops, hands resting on the counter top as she looks at her sister in her eyes. "The sleepover isn't here?"

"No," Heather shakes her head, oblivious to her sister's incredulous expression as she licks her fingers. "Why would you think that?"

"Because," the older Mars blows out. "The board. Sleepover," she says and wants to hit her head for not being specific enough. She sighs. "Let's wait for this batch to be done, it'll take ten minutes more to bake and you can take it with you to Ophelia's."

Heather beams, bright eyes and toothy grin. "Thanks, Ronica."

She gives her sister a soft smile before she asks, "So are you and Ophelia good? I mean, did you talk to her?"

"I didn't have to," the little girl starts her story. "I saw Ophelia give Ryan her red balloon. She loves balloons. She wouldn't even let me have a balloon and I'm her best friend."

Veronica's brows furrow as she continues to stare at her little sister. "Because you always pop your balloons. It's like you're a human cactus."

Heather shoots her a glare. "Whatever. You don't understand how it looked under the sunset sky and the two of them smiling at each other. And she told him that she likes him."

"Were you spying on them?" Veronica asks, brow arched and tries to put on a disapproving face - she either fails or Heather doesn't take notice.

"I was observing my friends from a distance," the little blonde reasons.

"Uh-huh. Heather -"

Her sister doesn't let her finish as she continues with her story, "It's only after we went on the Ferris Wheel and Ryan gave me the red balloon that I realized that Ophelia was only trying to help him because she liked him as a friend."

"He gave it to you? I didn't see you with a balloon."

"Because it got popped," Heather tells her, sighing loudly like she misses the balloon. "Ophelia knew it would too. She thought it might break the ice between us, give us something to laugh at because I get nervous around him," she explains everything so quickly that Veronica almost doesn't catch the end bit but thankfully she's trained herself to be an attentive listener.

"Heather Mars, nervous?" Veronica clunks her tongue with the roof of her mouth. She looks at her sister nostalgically and says, "You're growing up way too fast."

--vm--

She texts Logan about her change of plans when she gets home from dropping Heather off. He doesn't ask her to come to the party with him, she doesn't really want to go but she feels disappointed that he doesn't offer because she does want to spend time with him even if it means sharing him with his friends.

She turns on her music, puts her apron back on, starts to finish off making the cookies and tries to let go of her woes for the night.

It's when she's cleaning up the mess she's made in the kitchen that she hears the unexpected chime of the door bell. Grinning before her, clad in a green shirt and blue jeans is her brown eyed, snarky and hot mouthed boyfriend.

"Hey," he lets out, soft and needy and she honestly wasn't expecting him to be here at her doorstep tonight.

"Hey," she breaths out, head tilted slightly, curious eyes and appreciative smile because she's happy that he's here. She missed him.

"Kiss the Baker," he reads, trademark smirk on his lips, looking at her with twinkling eyes as he comes in.

She closes the door behind him and gives him a curious look, he pointedly gestures to her apron with his brows and she chuckles, rolling her eyes.

He moves in closer to her, eyes set on hers as his arms come to wrap around her waist. "Who am I to deny the embedded command of the apron makers?"

She chuckles, teasing grin falling on her lips as she stares up at him with equal playfulness. Her arms snake up his sides and she adds, "You wouldn't want to upset them."

"Mm," he bops her nose with his before leaning in and whispering, "I wouldn't want that."

She sucks in slightly when his warm breath lingers on her lips before he closes the gap between them, capturing her lips with his in a sweet, sensual kiss.

He smiles, breaking from her before it got too deep. "Is that cookies I smell?"

She doesn't answer him, instead she moves her hands to his neck and pulls him back down to her, kissing him deeper and longer than their initial kiss. He has no qualms taking her into his arms and falling into the their kiss or the kisses that follow.

It feels good to not be in a race against time, they're on her couch when Veronica finds herself glancing at the clock. She knows that Casey Gant's party has already started so she asks Logan about it and all he does is inaudibly mumble against her skin and she can't help but chuckle in response. "I thought you wanted to go to the party?"

He nuzzles his nose into her hair and murmurs into her skin, "Not tonight. It's been too long since I've hand my Veronica full. I want to be selfish with you for a little bit longer."

He kisses her neck, lightly sucking careful to not leave a mark - not that he doesn't want to but he knows it'll be awkward for her and he doesn't want to put her in that position.

She aches into him at his words, lightly nods, his lips now pepping shoulder kisses as she airs out, "I didn't want to go to the party anyway."

He smiles against her neck, his nose pressing hard against her and she doesn't know why his nose of all parts of his body but it does.

She pulls back slightly, nudging his head up with her hands and kissing him senselessly. She's so filled with want and need and uncharted desire that she doesn't really know what to do with it. She just knows that she wants to kiss him until their lips are swollen and numb to the point where they can't kiss anymore.

Her lips find his neck, she peps kisses like he had done for her and he moves his neck easily to accommodate her. Her kisses line up to his jaw before she finds her way back to the crook of his neck and lightly sucks and bites. He groans, his neck leaning into her with force she hasn't felt before and she likes it. She wants him to do that more, make noises and press his body tighter against her.

He pulls away, capturing her face with his hands, he brings her mouth to his, kissing her fully and pouring his need into her. Their eyes are closed as they lean into each other, gasping silently for air between their long drawn kisses.

Her throat feels dry and the house is quiet reminding her of how alone they are. "Do you wanna go upstairs?" She means to be suggestive but she doesn't really know how to be especially not when he's pressed against her like this and she's melting into his touch. She thinks that the suggestion is obvious enough given the context of their position.

He leans in harder into her before bowing out. "I don't think that's a good idea," he breaths out.

"Oh," she lets out, disappointing breaking through the silence.

He tightens his hold on her, silently begging for her to not misunderstand him. "I don't want us to move too fast," he tries to explain, he's never had to have this particular conversation before but he often finds himself getting lost in the taste of Veronica and it takes everything in him to break away. They're alone in this house but he knows the sanctity of the couch will preserve him some limitations that her bedroom doesn't offer. He doesn't want her to regret him.

She nods her head against him, insecurity rattling it's way up her spine and he wants to assure her but his methods come in ways that he doesn't think she's ready for so he takes a minute and tries to gather his words. He holds onto her, letting his touch assure her until his words can. "I want you so much, Veronica," he finally whispers against the silence. "I don't want to ruin us by being too selfish."

"How is it selfish if I want you too?" She whimpers out against him. She doesn't know what she's promising. She wants his skin against hers. She wants him in her arms and she wants his mouth on her lips, her neck and everywhere his hands touch. He makes her want more but she's not sure what exactly more is yet.

He whispers his love against her skin and she revels in the glory that it brings. He doesn't move them to her room and she's silently relieved because she finds herself wanting more than she's ready for and she's not sure how he knows but she's thankful that he does.

They switch on a movie, wrapped in each other, fingers caressing skin and kisses in between snarky remarks. It's calmer than before and it feels good to just be in his arms.

[wrightsum857]

SPIRITED AWAY REVIEW PTII (Sorry I am late it has been a while hasn't it?)

The focus is mainly going to be on Haku. Not all of this is mine, I got a lot of inspiration/ideas from a fanfiction written by someone called moviefan-92. It is absolutely wonderful and I absolutely recommend you give it a read. I shall leave a link below. As always a quick *warning of spoilers*.

From the start Haku is a bit of a mystery. He appears seemingly out of nowhere and disappears as fast. Warning Chihiro to leave immediately (which I always thought of as a bit rude but I can understand why).

He then goes on to protect Chihiro, bring her to the bath house to get work, find her clothes from the Human World, secure her identity (and so her freedom), allow her to see her parents, make a deal to break her contract, retrieve her from Zeniba’s and allow her to leave to go home with a final piece of advice to secure her safety through the tunnel to her world. Phew! Not bad for a two hundred odd Dragon-boy spirit.

Anyways we get very varied sides of Haku. Not all of them are good. He is either cold and distant, or warm and friendly. Some of the spirits even warn Chihiro to stay clear of him. So why doesn’t Chihiro? And how does she/he fall in love with him/her?

Okay yes, if you met a (cute) boy about your age *(well looks anyway) who frees you from a spell that cripples your legs and feeds you to protect you from dying and allows you to see your parents-well you might be a little bit grateful. But that doesn’t explain how she fell in love with him. *I am just going to assume that since he looks ten he acts and feels and behaves like a ten year old-not including his magic and knowledge attained over the past century or so.

We would have to assume that before Haku left for Yubaba he kept visiting Chihiro to take her to see her parents as he warned her to ‘never come here without me’. How else could Chihiro remember what her parents looked like to know for certain the pigs Yubaba sets before her are a fake? I don’t know about you but I would not be able to distinguish my parents as pigs after only seeing them very briefly twice!

With this in mind this off screen interaction must account for Chihiro suddenly being in love with Haku. We see her with him 6 times (roughly) Amazingly though Miyazaki gives us enough hints on screen for us to realize Chihiro cares for Haku. So when she breaks the curse from the Golden Seal on him it is not a complete surprise.

Alone, she goes on to dream about him, recalling the moment she fell into a river as a young toddler. When he assigns her to her room he acts cold and distant from her-here is the only time we see Chihiro openly hurt and confused by him. Of course we as a viewer understand that if he showed any kind of kindness towards her he would cause suspicion.

This cold attitude however is important. It shows who Haku has been and behaved like for decades to the other staff. Kamaji (the boiler man) later explains that when Haku first came over to the bath house he was good but by becoming Yubaba’s apprentice he became cold and his eyes hardened; he was never the same again. Chihiro sees this part of Haku but forgives him because she knows what he has done for her already. The only other time he is distant towards Chihiro, is when he is left to bleed out from his injuries. He snarls at Chihiro and Kamaji warns her to be careful as he is a ten foot, very sore dragon at this point. But I would argue he wasn’t angry at Chihiro, we as a viewer can recognize that he may just be a little bit embarrassed that Chihiro is seeing him like this. Even though she knows he is a Dragon-he might not they might never have discussed it. He might be worried she might be scared of him looking like that? And to be hurt at all, when he has appeared as nothing but strong and powerful in front of her in the past.

The gentle side of Haku. Although curt with her at the start, he did save her life. He is extra cautious and gentle when he finds her and encourages her to eat the berries to live. After being cruel to her in front of the other workers, he makes it up to her by taking her to see her parents. He gives her-her name back and comforts her as she cries. All the time speaking in a gentle tone.

The sweet side of Haku. Haku admits he knows her real name even though she never told him. At this point we/he does not know why this is. But already we can tell that simply knowing her name is enough. Subconsciously his mind has made the connection and this secret-this truth prompts him to be good. It is a reminder of whom he once was-a good and kind Spirit. Chihiro prompts him to recall his former self back to the surface. Feeding his former strength to fight Yubaba’s spell over him. For this he can’t help but protect her like he once did long ago. As for Chihiro. She is ten (and if you read my first review on her) a bratty little girl who has never known true love. She is presented with a boy who not only saves her but continuously protects her from harm-pushing for her to return home with her parents. Who else offers her a way out? (Except Kamaji who gives her tickets to see Zeniba but that is still within the realm of the Spirit World). Granted he is a little pushy, but he is continuously saving her and protecting her. This goes against every negative thing all the other Spirits have said. Haku feels comfortable enough to show who he truly is and Chihiro recognizes that.

The Lake Spirit helps Chihiro to understand Haku’s predicament further. Here she is confronted with a similar type of Water Spirit who is polluted from the waste humans dumped in his lake over many years. So much so, that he is visibly ugly and off putting i.e. a ‘Stink’ Spirit. Haku is the same- only it is on the inside. The control bug Yubaba has put inside him, and his true name she stole from him, have caused him to become hard and bitter. Being surrounded by like-minded spirits who we learn are filled with greed and gluttony is enough to make anyone crazy-take No Face for instance! By saving the Lake Spirit Chihiro realizes she has the potential to save Haku. -repaying him for his kindness towards her. She just has to find a way to expel all that ‘dirt’ that is inside of him. Selfless side of Haku. Even when close to death Haku slowed Chihiro’s decent so they could land (albeit a little bumpily) into Kamaji’s stock room. Innocent side of Haku. I love the fact that Haku struggles to take the medicine and like Chihiro is horrified by how disgusting the medicine tastes. It shows a level of childishness and innocence we have seen before. For once Chihiro gets to boss Haku around for his own good!

With that two things emerge. 1 the controlling bug (similar to a peeping bug in Howl’s Moving Castle) that forced Haku to do Yubaba’s bidding. 2 the Golden Seal Haku had taken from Zeniba. Kamajii admits Haku should be dead due to how powerful the curse protecting the seal is- that only True Love could have saved him. This is the moment we have confirmation of Chihiro’s love for Haku. Without us really knowing it Miyazaki has fed us small snippets into Chihiro’s thoughts and feelings over Haku that had helped us accept this idea without much complaint. So of course we aren’t as surprised by this revelation. But what about Haku? Does he love Chihiro? Do two people have to love each other in order for the curse to break or was it just Chihiro’s love for Haku? After all that has happened I would say it took both of them. Haku has being looking out for Chihiro from the beginning-he doesn’t know why but he has. Chihiro does the same for him. Not just to repay him but because she genuinely cares about hi. Running onto pipes on the sides of buildings and nearly falling to her death caring for him. If that isn’t Love, I don’t what it is.

But it occurs to me as I write this review as to what KIND of love are we talking about here? Chihiro is still just a child (I would assume the same for Haku as discussed earlier), I doubt she would be feeling the romantic, sometimes lusty-energetic kind of love you experience as an adult so what is it? It is not sibling love either-that is clear enough too. No it is just love in its purest form. This is the one thing I love about Mr. Miyazaki the most. His talent to convey a child’s love-a sweetheart’s love that has none of the complications an adults love has.

Haku saved Chihiro’s life, he was her closest companion (other than Lin and Kamajii) who was remotely close to her age-he was her friend. And Chihiro loved him for it. Having to be so hard and strict to stay in charge, it is clear Haku doesn’t have much friends-or maybe none except Kamaji. So clearly being friends with Chihiro would be a big deal for him too. We saw at the beginning of the film that Chihiro is very good at making strongly bonded friendships-so much so she was even given a bouquet of flowers to say goodbye! Haku is just another example of a what a strong friendship with Chihiro looks like when put into action. Even Lin and Kamaji are devoted to her. Chihiro simply has a way about her that causes you to love her and Haku is no exception. So yes I think he is a good friend but I don’t believe she/he loves him/her “just as a friend”. -No Face is ‘just a friend’. They both have a deep regard and affection for each other that I believe stems from their first encounter- the day they first met when she was younger in the Human World. That event caused a bond to form between the two of them that was personal. Her presence has merely rekindled that bond and allowed it to grow into something deeper and pure.

The I am in love with you side of Haku (by far the sweetest side). Haku awakens. Recalling how he heard her voice calling him back from the brink of death. He goes to his boss Zeniba, reveals her son his missing and stands his ground against her at the peak of her fury. And finally, forces her to redraw Chihiro’s contract. He then goes to Chihiro. As Chihiro throws herself at him he accepts her embrace in return, completely comfortable for her to see him in his Dragon form. As they fly through the air-on his back, Chihiro is taken back again to the time when she fell in the river and this time she recalls it clearly. Haku saved her life when she was just a young girl. Instead of allowing her to drown Haku personally disengaged from his river-in his Dragon form and carried her to shore. But recalling this allowed to Haku, she shouts out his full name and Haku finally remembers. He is so startled he transforms back into a human and behaves more excited and happy then we have ever seen him before, clenching hands with Chihiro with tears in both their eyes in happiness. (Ugh I cry every time I see that part).

What is it about their relationship that makes it not just friendship? It’s her asking for him, it’s them embracing, saving each other’s lives time and time again etc. taking soul-mates to a whole new level! Because that is what they are. Haku (a soul) and Chihiro (his mate) where destined for each other. For Haku, Chihiro was his humanity of sorts-her presence reminded him that he does not mind Humans-and would do anything to protect one in particular. - Unlike many other Spirits like Zeniba, who believe spirits to be ‘smelly’ creatures. But since Haku has been around similar thinking Spirits for so long, it was hard not to be affected by their negative thoughts and behavior for a while. However, if he can reveal himself to a human (which is forbidden) and save the life of a child, and continue to protect her when she is older-then he is not a bad person/spirit. Chihiro saw this in him from the start and never doubted him. She even admits to him that she knew he ‘were good’ from the start.

By the end of the film Haku has proven to us that he is not a one dimensional character. Like all people he is a 'diamond in the rough’ with multiple facets of emotions that make him who is and a great, good guy. He is: reserved, courageous, protective, caring and kind. He is as smart as he is powerful-all driven by his love for Chihiro, his sweet heart, his friend, his soul-mate.

The film ends in the Spirit World how it began-Haku and Chihiro on the bridge with a final farewell and a promise-a promise to see each other again. And why not? After all they have met each other twice now-in two very separate Worlds-so why not for a third? Although this has yet to be proven by Miyazaki (annoyingly enough) many have given their thoughts and views on how Chihiro and Haku met again.

There is ALOT of beautiful fanfiction-some drawings, paintings etc. and some stories. Which leads me onto the fanfiction I have recommended prior to this review. Movie-fan92 has written a stunning fanfiction about how Chihiro could have met Haku again- another 10 years down the line. It is a very beautiful piece I am sure even Mr. Miyazaki would love! I personally feel it captures Chihiro and many of the other character’s characteristics well. I would definitely give it a read.

On a personal note I believe it is plausible Chihiro could have met Haku in her world. He could have found his river, found where it opens back onto level ground/air and flown to where she may be etc. Or she could have been waiting at an opening at his river etc. They could have lived a full life together and moved on to the Spirit World together etc. The less sweet version of course is that Chihiro dies and becomes a Spirit but this is where I prefer Movie-fan92’s version Chihiro returns to the Spirit World, still human but still very much in love with Haku, and this time she plans on staying…

Anyway I hope you liked this review and let me know what you think- Did Mr. Miyazaki convey their love well? Was it obvious? Do you believe Chihiro and Haku could ever meet again? If so how? Here is the link, seriously, enjoy. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3261432/1/Spirited-Away-2-Return-to-the-Spirit-World: