#I decided to post this anyway even tho its sketchy and .... sketchy ....

[hajihiko]

nightmare

noun

night·​mare ˈnīt-ˌmer 

an evil spirit formerly thought to oppress people during sleep

[lame2882]

About Me ✎

Howdy! Welcome to my blog!

I'm not great at introductions. I've been here for... a good amount of years and I'm just barely getting around to introducing myself on here.

Anyway, Hi! I'm an artist and a writer and have chosen this blog as the vessel of my machinations.

Basics:

☆ I mostly go by Lame! But some other names I enjoy are Mel, Lochland, Castor, and Gayl (yes, I have characters with some of these names too)

☆ I'm trans masculine! Still figuring things out right now, but the pronouns I use are he/they/xe/xem/ae/aer as well as some others that I'll clarify later down the post!

☆ I am an adult! Still don't try anything sketchy tho. I am taken.

☆ Dissociated daydreamer

☆ Although I am a writer, I don't like telling stories through... writing. I love unconventional ways to tell stories like... comics and video games. Y'know, things I don't know how to do

☆ I will talk obsessively about my OCs and fictional worlds and you can't stop me

☆ I am obsessed with The Legend of Zelda and have my own fanon universe/timeline for it. Is it lore accurate? Absolutely not, but have you seen the canon timeline?

Hashtags:

#lame reposts is a hashtag that I put all of my reblogs under, just to keep things neat

#lame art is for all my art!

#out of canon shenanigans is for all my stuff that isn't canon to any of my stories. Ranges from random one-offs to whole aus, which will also be tagged respectfully

#in canon shenanigans is for all my stuff that is canon to any of my stories. Usually concept art or short stories

#Foranon is for everything related to my fantasy world Foranon, one of my main wips that I post about... a lot

#BoSZAU stands for Balance of Shadows Zelda AU. It's my Fanon Zelda Universe/Timeline... which is basically an alternate universe for Foranon

#TRTS stands for “To Rewrite The Stars” which is a new wip about my persona Castor and his twin Pollux and how they navigate the world

#DTHS stands for Devil Towne High School, which is my interconnected universe of various wips. Most of the stories have been abandoned, but I might still use the hashtag from time to time for the stories that are still being worked on

I also have various hashtags for various OCs but we don't have time for all that. Just look up their names and you'll get it.

More information about me as well as where else to find me below the cut!

I'm trans masculine. I mostly use he/they pronouns, but have been doing some fuckery with neopronouns and even nounpronouns and they feel really nice so here's a full list of pronouns you can use for me!

☆He/Him

☆They/Them

☆Xe/Xem

☆Ae/Aer

☆Ey/Em

☆Star/Stars

☆Void/Voids

Please do not start discourse on my blog, thanks

I'm an artist and writer! I write original stuff, but the only stories I've actually managed to finish have been fanfics. I finished a whole trilogy of fanfics but can't focus long enough on my original stuff to finish anything.

I am an avid daydreamer and I often forget about my surroundings because of it and I feel bad because it makes me oblivious to a lot of things. A lot of my stories come from my daydreams.

One of these stories is Foranon! I'd love to give a synopsis on it, but there's literally so much that would need explaining that I don't have time to put it all down here. It's mostly just a worldbuilding project right now with a narrative worming its way through it. I'll have to make an infodump post about it and I'll link it here eventually. For now, take the blog I made for it that I never touch @foranongame

I also have Balance of Shadows! Which is one of the many fanfics I mentioned in the paragraph above. It's a Zelda AU where I decided to mess with the canon timeline into something I find cohesive. The characters in this AU are kinda the same in Foranon as Foranon is basically just me repurposing fan characters for something more original.

I'm also hoping to return to my story Ghost Freaks! Which is a comic I've been planning for 4-5 years now. I published the prologue of the comic back in 2020 and then motivation killed me so I never touched it again. Hoping to revamp it and start on it again soon! Again, have the blog I never touch @ghost-freaks-comic

I'm... not good at synopses.

Social Media

You can find all my social media on my carrd here

All my stuff is some variation of Lame2882 or Lame.2882

Interests

As said before, I'm obsessed with Legend of Zelda, but some other interests of mine are:

☆Omori

☆Little Nightmares

☆Pin Collecting

☆Danganronpa

☆Astronomy

☆Night in the Woods

☆ROTTMNT

☆Don't Starve

☆Sky: Children of the Light

☆Ghosts and other supernatural stuff

And I think that's all you really need to know about me! Feel free to say hi!

[mithliya]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar. 

[vaguely-concerned]

TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN

- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:

I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name

- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’

- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence

(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)

- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway

- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars

- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post

temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!

them: what does he look like?

temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons

- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious

-  :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually

- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway

- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed

b o i

- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself

- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is

also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite

aw man I love gong su

- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe

KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying

thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance

- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’

junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight

- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history.  (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)

- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling

- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you

- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense

- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave

god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh

- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond

- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)

- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)

- aw junichiro :(:(:(

- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.

- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”

fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this  

(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)

- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced

- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you

- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart

- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables

- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath

- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand

- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there

- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone

- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)

- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious

the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious

- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief

- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny

- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god

- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y

- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic

- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit

- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*  

- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’

- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(

there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha

- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this

they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book

- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear

we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y

- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable     :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho

- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above

- laurence: approaches little

little: gay panic

- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain

- oh hay arkady

poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’

- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!

- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh

- thARKAY

.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck

(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)

- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot

- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go

- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me

- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahhha

haha

what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this

- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow

- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol

- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed

(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)

- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”

a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft

- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy

- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”

he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.  

- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary

also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster

- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back

- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh

- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)

laurence is like ET TU BABE?????

I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’

hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident

- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far

- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)

- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???

- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks

- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him

- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.

- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*

- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)

- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)

ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf

ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.

- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again

- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds

- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. y’know?

- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik

(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)

- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.

also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are

This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it

(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)

let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.

- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about

[zzpopzz]

Really long rant about how I made Vanilla Twilight, I typed it at 2am so it’s kinda crappy and boring, just skip through this post.

So I'd been thinking about it for a long time now, even before finishing Vanilla Twilight that I'd talk about it if someone asked, well that never happened so I was just thinking that I'd let it go but that post is so important to me so well fuck it I'll just talk about it anyway. I did it completely on a wimp like how cool would it be if I make a lyricstuck for Toumaki like I'd be the first (if anyone did this before me im sorry). The first song I intended to do wasn't VT, it was a much shorter and easier song. I saw the music video first time after a while and the lyrics gave me some scenes to draw right away, like the tones, the atmosphere, the lyrics all fit them very well, made me wanted to draw something happy but sad. The ending for it was a happy one instead of a sad one like other songs I did (I didn't post the ending for any of them, just let the viewers decide what it's gonna be) I was very scared like what if it won't turn out ok and people gonna hate me for it or no one even gonna look at it. Also what I visualized are mostly illustrations with backgrounds, what I never done before so high chance it won't go anywhere. I thought well let's just see how far will I get and won't talk about it at all until I post it so at least I won't be all barks no bite. I was very traumatized that someone might know about what I did so I locked all the files when I shut down my PC in case someone hack into it lmao. I started with making a storyboard(kinda) for it, this is where I first got trouble because there was some part I didn't think of when I visualized what I'd draw at first ( 'I don't feel so alone' part mostly and some in between) and it's only at this point that I realized how many I'd have to draw (over 40 images total) and it's mind blowing for someone who rarely finish a painting like me at that time, that number is more than what I'd draw in a year. VT doesn't have choruses that meant I can't do tricks like repeat some panels (I don't like this anyway). I usually painted on small canvas before that but I wanna make sure I can fix things later and some idea I had was pretty big so I used 3000x5000px canvas then trimmed them down ( I didn't know how big it was and it's huge). The idea was to make a tumblr scroll-post like a lyricstuck (my favorites are by paperseverywhere and toastyhat/emptyfeet , they made really cool tutorials about these) so I tried to drew out compositions that would look good scrolling down panel by panel and have some connections between them (this didn't turn out so good in the end because I wasn't good lol) Since I was scared that people might point out that I draw something wrong, it took me almost a week or something searching for references (check my pinterest board) like the streets, sky, houses, roads, outfits, poses,... I was going to draw. I got some knowledge about bikes by this too, like I can tell the differences between road bike, mtb, touring bikes,... I also see and captured bunches of screenshots and reread ywpd trivia countless time to make sure I won't get anything wrong. If you take notice, every outfit Toumaki wear in there are all canon, from anime or promos. The first few panels was really exciting because I had never painted so many with backgrounds before, I was really happy when I almost finished the first verse even compared to the full 3:50 of the song it was only 20 seconds and I thought maybe I can pull this after all. The last panel was intended to be Makichan standing infront of his house looking at the sky but I wanted to show the sky at the end of the panel and that wouldn't work on scroll-down post so I had to leave it for later, I repainted this panel for about 3 times and finished it just 30' before posting. The first panel of the second verse wasn't turning out alright too because that was my first time doing a 3 points perspective drawing and the colors didn't turn out as I wanted either (my intention was a green/gold dawn scene). Things kinda worked well despite that until the scene when Toudou sits in his ink, gdi I didn't know why I was so caught up in that and painted every piece of that wooden floor, it took me almost a week but turned out better than I expected so I was ok with it. I was going to make sketchy paintings for all of the panel but I did too much details on that one so it gave me the impression that I'll have to do just as much for every others. Now I still had school to go and that semester my uni got me pretty crappy schedule that made me have to wait for classes at school frequently, I was frustrated because I didn't get to paint during that time and I might finish it too late (even though I didn't set a deadline) and when I got home I just spent so much time checking twitter and just can't pick myself up to draw and ended up feeling shitty about it. *Side story*  I was so mad because I didn't get anything done and there's still more than half of the whole thing to do and the worst part is that I had no one that I can talk to because I didn't have any friend who ship Toumaki and I also don't want to publicly talk about what I was doing, I wanted to surprise people when I'm done, I didn't wanna give people the expectation then screw it up (I literally thought I'd drop a bomb not a grenade lmao) I can't remember how long was that shitty phase but I felt like it was so long, I barely finished verse 2 at that point. I was so mad at myself and my progress so I spent a few days to look at time management threads and this helped a lot, I changed my habits completely  by this and I still apply those methods now, like I used to stay up til 3am to read fics (bless you writers you fueled me with your writings bless you all) then I switch to bed before 12 and get up early for a good start or reduce working time while increasing quality* After that I kinda got things together,I just went ahead with painting tho it's still kinda tiring, I had to work on 5 essays during this time too. At this point I was like screw all, I give no shit about what everyone thinks I'm just gonna finish this and get some good nap (I practiced power nap to get more focus time for painting but dude everyone wants a good long nap) 10 days before uploading I found out that there's a Toumaki day (I'm so sorry), I was going to posted on the first sunday of June (I did researched on which was the best time to post on social medias so I randomly picked a sunday) and Toumaki day is the last sunday of May, that meant I had 10 days left and 15 panels to paint! I was going to ignore that but I already made it big I should make it right too so I shit my pants going through those last panels. I purposely hiding Toudou's face till the last verse to emphasize the feelz and got so relieved that I finally got to paint him (I read some tags that some viewers got emotional at this part so I'm so glad it worked). The whole things was put under Makichan's perspective so I was so sick of painting him at that point, he showed up in every panel and I can't paint him ugly because he's beautiful (especially his hair, I spent shitload of time painting them). I can talk lots about why I picked to do so but that's headcanon shit and it's embarrassing so let's just skip that. The last day I had only 3 panels left and I was hell confident that I've got this and somehow spent the whole evening rewatch Toumaki pingpong ep (end me). Of course that didn't end well, I managed to finish those by midnight but I still had like 3 panels that needed  repaint completely and all 43 needed retouch and edits. My plan was to post at 9am sunday (thats 9pm saturday est) so I had to get up at 5am and finish all that, I ended up cutting down 2 panels and simplified the instrumental panel (some tags said that was nice so I was at least relieved). Unlike other songs I did, the length of every line's quite different and the original sizes I did would make viewers have to scroll slower or faster at different parts. I didn't plan this beforehand and had to trim down some panels even the parts that I really liked and spent lots of time on. I also found out that people outside the homestuck fandom might not familiar with this type of post so I made a video too (I’m sorry I have zero skill in editing). After posting I was terrified of people's reactions or worse, there won't be any reaction so I turned everything off and went to sleep and woke up with an unimaginable number of notes I'd got, I set the target of 500 notes and I really didn't think that I'd get past that number like maybe 2-300 (well my other songs didnt even get 200), at the end I got 5000. I spent the next week reading and screencap tags given in reblogs, I put them on desktop and they're still my motivation til now. Vanilla Twilight is the thing I'm proud of the most even until now, when I've done other songs and projects that look somewhat better. If I have to recommend one thing on my blog I'd recommend it despite its' unskilled paneling, poor composition and muddy colors. It was the first time in my life that I'd put so much effort into something and went through such emotional roller coaster, the feelings I put into it was raw and the idea was very original compared to other songs, I improved and changed a lot during the 2 months I spent on it and never once regret doing it. ***Anyway, you sure have much free time to read it this far, here's a little game for you: I put random things in VT and HF like some characters/stuff from other series, my ocs,... (there wasn't anything purposeless in there even the logo on their cups or the bags they wear) just send me anything you find and I'll draw you something in return**

[bigbrotherorre]

EPISODE SIX: “IF ONE MORE PERSON TRIES TO BUILD THE PEACE IN THIS HOUSE I'M GOING TO THROW THEM THROUGH THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE WINDOW” - ALIVIA HOH: SAMMY EVICTED: RANDY - 7 TO 4

So... as expected Ricky went and I'm in mourning. I love Ricky SOO much! with my WHOLE hort. Otherwise, this HoH comp is AWFUL, everyone is gonna be FIGHTING. For this week, I would like a Bryce/Jose HoH because I think I'd be safe and because they'd go after Blake/Alivia/Lynn. HOWEVER, then next week, I'd like Alivia to win HoH and get Randy out because I do NOT trust Randy. Basically, provided I can get past this week with all the messy twists... I feel cautiously optimistic? Like I'm playing both sides and hopefully that'll work to my advantage? Eek we will seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Another day another lost comp

SO, tea time with Ali! Except... not really. I'm literally about to set a BB Pokemon record because it is literally week 6 and I'm in 0 ALLIANCES. This is a MESSY MESS MESS. I wanna be in alliances, I want safety. Meanwhile, conspiracy corner... John was given the Jigglypuff, he didn't play it. The phrasing on the wiki & the posts were all.... off. I think Randy gave it to him, but I also feel like everything sketchy that happens is.... by Randy. Like I think Randy is the bot, and Randy is being this cracked mess... According to Sammy at least, the bot is now sending fake screenshots? WHAT KIND OF CRACKED JUJU IS THIS. I dont love this at all asjlkdfa In other news, Bryce & Jose _will_ be this season's F2 and I will not accept otherwise. Bryce is such a solid ally, like he is so sane, so nice, so good. Jose is the love of my life lkjafdsa, he is SO SWEET. like a good, wholesome boy right there is Jose. I LOVE THEM BOTH, THOSE ARE MY BOYS. I am a feminist, but I will convert to meninism if it means my faves make F2. ANYWHOMST. I love the hosts, Dennis added me to his Havana host chat and idk why he did that, since he _totally_ lays out his strategy in that... why did he do that, I am always booboo the fool but he can take that title from me for today. and thats how sue sees it, bye for now woooooooooooooooo!

I think I'm going home this week and I'm really worried. Like really worried, I've played badly and I'm now really expendable, and people are gonna send me home i literally spent a total of like 6 hours prepping for veto and I still screwed it up. I got 9 songs in like 7 minutes, but it took me like 30 more to find the last one ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (unfaithful by rihanna will literally be my downfall). I'm really scared. I think I would have Autumn & Jose's votes, but against Ashvika I think thats when it dries up askjldfa. I'm really really scared, I'm not ready to go home, I am such a bad player :( I don't even feel like Bryce is in my corner anymore, and I think Autumn could keep Ashvika like except for Jose I feel so alone :( I love Jose so much, I'm so lucky to have him in this game with me, but I'm also so scared :( I'm not ready to go home :( But I've let myself down and played badly.

Can y'all believe my son Samuel future nominated me and I get to sit here in peace? Maybe we're related after all I'm so used to being nominated it doesn't even phase me. Like I forget that you can actually go home because I.... can't relate. People are freeeaaking the fuck out and I'm just chilling, knowing my ass is immune and that my silver power of veto will snatch wigs. So to pass the time I'm currently on call with my new alliance, Jose and Ali, and Ali is legit shitting himself I feel terrible. But like it's fine cause I pulled him off, he just doesn't know yet. I'm honestly just ecstatic that everyone I love is gonna be safe- me, Sammy, Ash, Ali, John. I really just need Jose to not get nominated and then this streak of ugly weeks will come to an end wooooo

im just... not a fan of ppl  SJDJHFSJDK everyone has such annoying ideas and im like... u do u but maybe dont!! Everyone keeps having opinions that are different than mine??? like cut it out. dennis cant literally do the bare minimum and not come across as sketchy for 1 second, and he also cant campaign to stay apparently??? hes a lot to deal with. and then randy is coming at me/sammy/zeezo and trying to seem smart for doing so, like wow you got us! go home maybe!! alivia has been very volatile all week and i have to deal with it. and ali is snapping because he thinks he would have gone home which i hope wouldnt have happened but i also dont know b/c theres an assumption that he isnt playing the game b/c hes vague and he might have went home because of it. but now he is being vague again and i think its prob b/c randy is campaigniing to him and trying to paint me/zeezo/sammy as a trio. when honestly we arent even.. theyre like a duo and im there!! also im a lynn warrior but we never talk so its awk. and also ali ratted to randy that if he wants to stay he needs LAB's vote and now alivia is mad he brought her name up and ugh ppl are doing so MUCH. also dennis just msg'd me like do i have ur vote?? who's voting me. MAYBE TALK TO PPL MORE AND NOT BE SKETCHY AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE THE MIDDLE MAN.

[ONE HOUR LATER]

omg..  i didnt mean those mean words. i love everyone in this cast. ali is so nice and trustworthy. alivia is feisty and full of energy, always keeping the game fun. dennis is actually like real fun to talk to and always feigns interest in w/e im saying (EXCEPT WHEN HE LIED ABOUT NOT HAVING LEGALLY BLONDE ON NETFLIX WHEN I KNOW HE DID). And randy has made this game so exciting!!!

[ONE HOUR LATER]

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT ALI. HE IS FAKE FAKE FAKE SO FAKE FAKE FAKE. SAYS HE DOESNT KNOW WHOS HE VOTING AND CAMPAIGNS TO KEEP RANDY AND DUMB DUMB DUMB  JOSE FALLS FOR IT. IF RANDY STAYS IM SCREAMING

[30 MINUTES LATER]

i am so sad for randy he really wanted this and dennis is kind of ugh to work with but randy was just too scary. he had the best exit so far tho and ill miss him so much. ALI CHOKE AHAHHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT!! ALIGNING ALL THE FLOATERS NOPE!!! TRY AGAIN.  I LOVE ALI BUT I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING B/C LIKE 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE VOTE ZEEZO IS LIKE DONT TELL ANYONE BUT ALI CONVINCED JOSE TO VOTE DENNIS OUT. SIDE NOTE i love john!!! he is so nice and ratted jose out like wig!!

woo okay soooo i haven’t been able to make one of these in awhile cause I’m on vacation so i apologize if this is long....so to sum up everything I won hoh with the help of zeezo and Bryce. I had to nom ali and ashvika because i knew it wouldn’t cause that much drama. Then....they both got taken off so I nommed Dennis and Randy. I wanted randy gone from the getgo because he is very smart and sneaky. I’m pretty sure he was behind the Nicolas Julia account as well which really made me upset. He also never responded to me but would tell ppl to pm him and yeah. Other than that, the conversations i did have with him were great, and he’s super nice and even made me the birthday video. I just wasn’t too close with him. I just made up a random excuse for Dennis because I had to hide the fact I’m in an alliance with Kat and Jose but also zeezo and Bryce. and alivia and John couldn’t have been nommed....so if i had to make another nomination it would’ve been Lynn and Bryce....so that would’ve been very very bad for me because like I’m also close to blake so i can’t nom him. Anyway randy was crying on call and it made me super super sad and i felt like a bad Person so i was like wow:/ I have to decide which alliance I’m gonna choose but it might be zeezo and Bryce because like Jose and Kat don’t tell me everything and don’t like agree with me about votes and i think ali autumn Jose and Kat voted Dennis. Idk I’m just so done haha 

if one more person tries to build the peace in this house i'm going to throw them through the closest possible window. i honestly feel like ali and dennis might have accidentally stumbled into the wrong game bc this is bb pokemon not whatever snowflake athena series you probably came from. i've tried to help ali throughout this game and explain to him that this isn't some summer camp where you braid each other's hair and make friendship bracelets but the kid just doesn't get it. i give up, and i think we need to focus on getting all the snowflakes and fatties out of this house as soon as possible. right now in the game i think that i might actually be in a pretty okay place. the house seems to be pretty divided vote after vote. there's the scammers, bryce, ashvika, sammy, and zeezo vs. the fatties: jose, john, ali, kat, and autumn. and as of now we outweigh the other house so we have a pretty good unofficially aligned group going here so hopefully we can keep that going!

CAST ASSESSMENT

[christineoh]

I’m really tired and sleepy but I’m fighting the jetlag with writing this post.

So far I love Japan and I hate how easy it is to spend money. I know the first week or so will be the most expensive-feeling bc of my travelling/accomodations and whatnot, but still im sad

Anyways, to  the diary thing.

My flight landed in Tokyo Haneda International Airport much earlier than expected. To be exact, my 5:40am plane landed around 3:30am. Because of this, I had 10 hours instead of 8 to kill in Tokyo before my next flight around 1:30pm. I was going to hang out at the airport BUT I DECIDED TO GO TO TOKYO INSTEAD

idk if it was a good or bad idea bc taking the train cost me. (Also I didn’t know how to use the coin lockers to store my luggage so the locker ate my money 😦 )

Things I noticed in Tokyo, Japan:

Salary men everywhere.

People do not stop walking, they do NOT STOP

Left,left,left

Tokyo crows sound like people

Masks. Masks everywhere

ITS SO CLEAN

EVERYTHING IS SO CUTE

EVERYONE IS SO NICE

Bikes. Bikes everywhere

square cars??

It’s actually just like I learned it’d be from anime…so much so that it seems unreal

C O N V E N I E N C E  S T O R E S

Mind you, it was around 7am when I got there so the city was still asleep. But I could feel it coming to life when the sun rose, though I was on my way back to the airport because my feet started to hurt.

I walked so much today. I didn’t have to but I did. My meals were onigiri and sandwiches from the conbinis, and honestly it was more than enough

When I finally got to the Kansai Airport, I headed to my ryokan where I’d stay for the night in Izumi-Sano near Osaka. The family-owned ryokan had a old-fashioned Japanese style simple room (so many adjectives lol) and it’s just my cup of tea (they actually served me tea lol). I got here around 3pm and was SO TEMPTED to just stay in and relax but I wanted to go out and explore the area so I DID and it was a half good half bad idea.

My adventure in Izumisano:

There are older buildings than there were in Tokyo. Some of them looked REALLY old!! So beautiful!!

That being said, alot of abandoned buildings and lots

square cars lolol

There weren’t that many people in some areas

Some stray sakura trees!

Some individual fields that were cutely taken care of

a grandpa was cutting a bush into a duck

Neighborhood message boards!!!

JAPANESE TRUCKS ARE SO CUTE LOL

i only saw 3 dogs 😦

**Highlight: I let myself get lost. I left my phone at the ryokan to charge, and I only had my camera and wallet. I saw a sign for a McDonald’s and got excited to try the Japanese one… Walked around for 2 hours, clearly longer than it should have taken me to get there, getting lost in the scenery before I got actually hungry and asked for directions back to the station at a pharmacy lol BUT in the middle of my exploration, among the more unoccupied streets, I stumbled upon an old temple. I don’t think I was allowed to be  in there but I was and I took some tourist pics before a square car came and I hurriedly sneaked off

Maybe I’ll upload some pictures. Yeah, maybe I will. Here’s that sketchy but pretty temple: (PS im terrible at taking pictures lol and this is just before I ran away)

And here are pics from a bridge where I got lost when a passing grandma stared at me being a tourist:

(couldn’t get a pic with the grandma tho)

And here are some of Tokyo – wait nvm I forgot my camera in my locker then so they’re on my phone lol. so here’s more of when i got lost instead

  (one of those dead-ish alleyways, maybe bc nothing was open yet even tho it was 4pm)

(square cars)

(the old houses!!)

  (i found a sign to a church!! but got too lost and couldnt find the actual church lol)

  in the end i never found the mcdonals

  -CGO

  PS, tomorrow is a long day so might sleep early again. Stay tuned for more updates 🙂

Japan – 04.04.2018. 18:53. (TOKYO; IZUMI-SANO) I'm really tired and sleepy but I'm fighting the jetlag with writing this post. So far I love Japan and I hate how easy it is to spend money.

[crashpaddiaries]

Dear Crashpad Diary #19

Yooooooooo you chalky beasts (climbing version of “filthy bastards” hahahah)

How are you all doing there?? I hope youre having fun and smiling as hell!! hehe

Sport-wise… whats the story??? Climbing?? Skiing?? badmington-ing? Chess-ing?? hahahaha

Talking about chess… I´m constantly making a joke that I should have gone for chess instead of climbing… that way my  fingers would suffer a little less and I would be able to grab a mug of coffee without the heinous feeling that I´m touching lava with my finger tips!! hahahaha

During our last days in Hampi… I was with that rage for finish projects… actually I had few projects and started putting them in order of priorities… considering the ones I was closer and I was sure that I could get in no time… that way I was going pretty much early mornings and late afternoons for them…. during the day though… I had not much to do other than eating… reading… and some of this activities that you stay relaxed and chill in one place… not moving much… thats the problem… if I don’t move I kinda go crazy… so… my afternoons were fulfilled with slackline sessions… nice sport… good for balance… concentration and not fingers or upper body related… should be good…. right?? haha

Well… I love doing new tricks and I started feeling pretty comfy doing jumps and all… and from that you can imagine… or you can search for slackline comps online and you gonna find out how mad are these guys jumping around haha… I don´t get even closer but I´m getting there hehehe

As you can imagine… falls are inevitable… mainly for me haha So… one day we woke up… went for my project… didn’t get… closer and closer though…. came back… brekkie…. rest a bit and Slackline… jump jump jump… slip… hit the line with my chest… could hear people that was watching going all “uuuuuuuffff”… cuz my headphone fell on the ground with the impact… fortunately I was fine… stood up… didn’t feel much.. just the impact and got a nice line drew on my chest by the slackline hehehe

The next morning went for my beloved problem called Sharmilla´s Hug… got even closer but no send…. I was feeling fine… went back… relaxed the whole afternoon and went back… didn’t slackline cuz I was feeling the ribs bruised… decided for putting the energy on the climbing… warmed up… sadly on the first go I was already suffering with the pain… gave other 2 goes and struggled in each one of them… I didnt want to believe but the 6 months of non-stop climbing had come to an end because of a line hanging between 2 trees… thats messed up!! hahahahah

At least I missed only 4 sessions after all!! Gladly, no one got injured during the trip… the balance so far was one visit to the hospital but that wasn’t me and everything was more than fine hehehehe =)

So… the rest of our Indian days we seized eating all the dishes we knew we would miss hahahah what a great way to finish the trip hahahahah Dosas, Idlis, Thalis, Homemade muesli, salads, Dal, Chenna, Currys and loads of other scrumptious dishes!! =)

Aaaaaaaand we´re off to Nepal…  hooray… went to the boat to cross the river cuz we had an overnight bus… whole day waiting at the airport in Bombay and then a flight to Kathmandu waiting for us… not before crossing from Hampi island… so… we were in that boat with heavy backpacks, crash pads and another small bags… I was in one side and Stephen the other… there was a group of Indian guys from Hospet and we started chatting… they are always good vibes… selfies as usual going on… and the time passing… it was already 5pm and our bus would leave at 6:05pm… ok… we have time… 15 mins later we were in the middle of a battle and not getting any fucking thing hahahah We were there and one of the guys from Hospet (a small city near Hampi), started shouting sth to the guy that runs the boat… related to the time he was taking to leave… the guy replied sth bad… I guess… cuz this guy that was in that group… who was pretty cool and kind… turned into a daredevil, stood up and ran straight to the boat man…. so they started arguing freaking loud… hands and fingers pointing each ones face… the other guys left the boat too… every time someone left their places the boat would move as it were rolling hahahah and we were full of equips tied up to our backpacks fixing the balance hahahah that was funny and scared hahahahaha

In the end people from the other side came to participate (as they are pretty participative in every happening hahahahaha)… suddenly we had loads of people shouting… the two boats anchored and loads of tourists waiting to cross the river… not forgetting that we kept balancing every now and then cuz someone would leave their places and put the whole boat “driedness” at stake hahahah After all the madness we got to cross and took the tuktuks to Hospet…

I think its fate of having adventures… I ended up getting the same driver that almost killed us in a crash when we went to Sri Lanka few months before hahahahahaha but this time he behaved hahahahaha

Sweeeeet…. we got to Kathmandu… quite good flight!! The dumb prize this time goes toooooo….. Me…. we had to grab some food at the airport in Bombay… chose the Subway among all the fast food shops because is the one with veggie option…. got the one I thought was the only option but totally forgot that we were in India and there the veggie rules…. hahahahah Was so sad for not choosing sth different among all the possibilities…. Stephen was smarter and got some “Super hyper mega paneer tofu soya totally organic veggie forever” sandwich…. but I enjoyed my Lettuce-tomato-plastic cheese sub!! hahahahahah

Kathmandu is cool!!! The people is extremely kind, cute, shy and smiley (I loved it!! =))… also the vibes in the city are incredibly good!!

It´s sad to see that many places are still destroyed or under construction because of the earthquake that hit the country in 2015. The amount of buildings skeletons or constructions rest you can find is out of my mind… and the whole city look like a construction site. At first, when I got here I couldn’t understand the reason to so much dust in the air… you can see, you can feel and you can even taste the smog… the way is to mimic the locals and use a mask most part of the time when you go outside… fortunately we will not stay long in KTM and wbouldedrill head to the mountains soon… fresh and cold air!! =)

haha yet relate to smoke.. while in Hampi the hype was offer “climbing banana, mango banana… (whispering) marijuana??”… over here they ask us every second “Do you smoke??” hahaha there was even a guy cycling the rickshaw who came close to us… didn’t stop and as he was passing by threw the question at us… but didnt stop… what was he thinking?? We would start chasing him shouting “Yeah Yeah… we smoke… do you have some???” hahahahah Or the other guy that came to Stephen… it seems that all the weirdos like him tho…. the sketchy guy came with a strange look… like crazy eyes… asking “”dooooosmoooooke??” hahaha that was so funny hehehe

We got to go to the climbing gym here with a couple that we met in Hampi… Denis and Maddie… really good vibes people and strong climbers!!

haha after 6 months climbing outdoors… plastic feels weird but it was cool climbing some gymnastic problems… quite similar to Rocklands and the style I love the most… great set… good people over there and we already got some contacts to go outdoors and met some strong Nepali climbers!!

After the sesh my ribs… that were still sore… started hurting a bit more… but we were going for food and you know… food always cure! hahaha We ate a dish called Takhali… it´s kinda thali but you get refills… as many as you want…. now you can imagine how hard we hit that hahahaha

Well…. I can’t keep fooling myself with takhalis for too long so, as my ribs were still pretty bruised and I didn’t know what was the story there, I decided to go to the hospital and check… the doctor as soon as started checking me with the stethoscope confirmed that I had a broken rib…. now it makes sense hehehe Thats why I didn’t send Sharmilla´s Hug… how would I hug that huge boulder… keeping the compression without all my ribs??? hahaha

He gave me some ibuprofen for the next 5 days and I´ll have to drop the climbing for few weeks… told ya…. should´ve gone for chess!! hahahahaha

The funniest part was checking the X-ray and chatting about all the other fractures I had and having them checking my collarbone that I broke in 4 parts years ago… “wow… I can see it…. can I touch it??” said the doc when he saw it!! hahahahaha

Anyways… maybe it is because of the cold weather, the tiredness for the past months, the change of the altitude or the injury… but since I got to Nepal I´m sleeping like a beast… loads… serious…. laziness is hitting as hell… fortunately thats exactly what I have to do right now before going for the trekking!! =) so… lets eat sleep and repeat!! hahahaha

Looking forward for the time we will go for the climb surf sleep and repeat!! hahahah

Hope you all are awesome and having fun with my posts and don´t worry… my ribs are already 127%…. in few days itll be 209%!! =)

Cheers beasts!! and good vibes!! =)

Evan