#I deal with a lot and fandoms/art are really my most effective stress management

[darksideofthemamon]

Well, fuck

[luna-tiel]

What Entrapdak Means to Me

On the eve of Entrapdak Positivity Month, I thought it was as good a time as any to share my rambling thoughts on a ship that’s affected me in a way I didn’t think was possible. 

Entrapdak is the first ship I have ever been invested in. It’s such a new experience for me that it’s taken me the last few months to wrap my head around the whole thing. I may relate to the characters in a show, but when they form romantic attachments I view it with a degree of passive distance. I don’t understand what it’s like to have those sorts of feelings for someone (I am aromantic and ace as a brick), and, well, I’m honestly not curious enough to give the subject a thorough study. My mind tends to fixate on other things. 

What does this have to do with Entrapdak, you ask? Long story short for people who don’t want to read my meandering essay -- I relate a lot to these characters, and the way they bonded together struck a deep chord in me that I can’t ignore. 

Let’s start with the characters. I knew going in that Entrapta was neurodivergent-coded, but I took it with a grain of salt. When I actually watched the show, however, I found myself relating to her so deeply it shocked me. Never have I felt such a kinship with a fictional character! We don’t share every trait, but it was still like seeing my brain put to life on screen. I related to her enthusiasm over her special interests, her struggles to fit in, her desire to make friends who accept and understand her for who she is. 

The fact Entrapta is completely herself is something I love about her. Over the years of growing up undiagnosed, I developed a lot of masking strategies. Human psychology is one of my special interests, and even with all that accumulated knowledge, masking isn’t easy. It’s extremely mentally taxing. Masking can certainly look easy -- I can, when I have the drive and energy, “pass” as neurotypical, and only people who know me extremely well can tell I’m dying inside. All that effort is taken for granted by a lot of NTs because that’s how people are “supposed to” act, and surely I can “do the bare minimum.” The accumulated stress of near constant masking has led me to the darkest moments I’ve had in my life.

Entrapta’s struggle with leaving Beast Island hit me hard. It threw me back to a time when my feelings of isolation and worthlessness got so bad that I lost the energy to do anything, even the creative pursuits that were the obsession of my life. I retreated so deeply into my inner world that I hardly interacted with anyone. That total apathy shocked my family into getting me professional help, which gave me my autism diagnosis, the coping skills to move forward, and a good start on the road to self-acceptance. It also opened a channel between my family and I, allowing me to feel heard and understood. (An important side note on mental health: if you or someone you love needs professional help, please seek it! Sometimes you have to try out several therapists -- it took me three to find a good fit -- but you are worth it!)

It took me longer to realize, but I also relate to Hordak in some ways. Mercifully I was not raised in an extremist cult environment. However, I know what it’s like to feel defective next to a sibling that seems perfect. I was constantly being compared to my younger brother, and in all areas but art, he was superior. He was smart, athletic, and above all, he fit in with everyone. I didn’t hate him for this -- I hated myself. Trying to measure up to his standard is what caused me to develop such strong masking strategies. Underneath it all, I felt the despair of knowing my peers would reject me as soon as the mask cracked. I also live with chronic joint pain, starting at around age seven. The jury is still out on what’s causing that (the worst of it was due to a previously unknown food allergy, but the pain still comes and goes, even though it’s a lot more manageable than it used to be). This cocktail of pain, stress, and sensory issues I had to deal with gave me a very short fuse at times. 

As an aside, just because I sympathize with Hordak does not mean I am excusing his actions. He is still going to have to face the consequences of his choices, and work to adjust to life post-Prime. The series end gave him a new beginning, the opportunity to be redeemed, and I prefer this to a rushed redemption arc. 

What I love most about Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship is how they accept each other as they are. Hordak gives Entrapta near free reign of his sanctum, he listens to her when she talks, and he respects her opinions. Even when he pushes her away, he still considers the logic of what she tells him, and sometimes ends up doing things her way despite his initial instincts. This is something I do in my own life; I am easily overwhelmed by new information, so my initial response to an idea/activity is almost always a firm (and sometimes rude) “no,” until I have time to properly process and think about it. Hordak is the first person in Entrapta’s life that truly listens to her. He still has things he needs to work on, but it’s a lot better than how most of the princesses are with Entrapta. The Alliance treats her as someone to be managed -- she is useful, but unreliable. Hordak, in contrast, trusts her to get things done in her own way. 

On the other side, Entrapta is the first person in Hordak’s life to accept him without judgment. Hordak spends so much of his energy putting up a front of strength and intimidation, and Entrapta cuts right through that. She’s not frightened by his appearance, and even his outbursts have little effect on her until the two of them start to bond. Entrapta doesn’t come into their interactions with any preconceived ideas of what Hordak is like, or more importantly, what he should be like. This lack of expectation leaves her completely open to accepting whatever Hordak does and says, and it also relieves Hordak of the burden of needing to put on a front around her. When Entrapta sees him at his most vulnerable, she reaches out to him with compassion, something he has never felt before. Entrapta also does this in a way that doesn’t belittle Hordak. His imperfections are not something to pity, they are a valuable part of who he is. 

I loved watching their friendship develop. Entrapta and Hordak’s shared time together evolved slowly into a bond that gave each of them a sense of belonging they had never experienced before with anyone else. It gave me the hope that, despite what an oddball mess I am, perhaps I could find someone who understands me too. 

When a romance subplot inserts itself into a story, I tend to gloss over and ignore it (if I pick up on it at all). I’m even less interested in sex. Way back when I was first getting into fandom I was so excited to go online and meet fellow fans of the books and shows I liked, only to discover the spaces being dominated by arguments over character pairings. I was baffled. This is what people are most interested in? Oh well… back to the hermit cave I go! 

I was late to the party with SPoP. I’d watched a few episodes, but the show didn’t really hook me. This was partially because all I ever heard people talk about online was Catradora, and if that was the main appeal of the show, I wasn’t sure I would enjoy it (sorry Catradora shippers, romance is not going to entice me to watch a show, even if it’s rep). Quarantine was the ultimate cause for me embracing my curiosity and diving headfirst into SPoP, binging the entire thing a few months before the release of season 5.

I vaguely knew about Entrapdak as a ship going into the show, and I admit, had I not been primed for it, I probably would have missed the romantic potential entirely. In no way did I expect to become invested. I was immediately intrigued by their dynamic, and as they got closer, I found myself thinking “oh, I see why people ship these two.” I didn’t understand this realization until months later. I was relating to the characters, and for the first time in my life, I was relating to their relationship.

I headcanon Entrapta and Hordak as an asexual couple. I’ll elaborate on this at a later time (asexuality is a spectrum with a lot of nuance, and this post is plenty long already), but at the core of it, I find joy in imagining these characters in a loving platonic relationship, something I hope to find myself one day. I hope this love comes across in my artwork and in my fanfictions <3

To those of you that read this far, wow, you must be patient! Have an imaginary cookie! I hope this ramble has provided a decent picture for why I, as an aro ace on the autism spectrum, have come to cherish Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship. It’s my first and only OTP… I’m still in shock thinking about that… I guess we’ll see where things go from here!

Take care of yourselves out there!

[soysaucevictim]

Rest of the final week of current program & starting some new stuff.

-

Mar. 13

I woke up after 1PM.

Did some dishes before doing today’s workout.

First, today’s DD. 2′ chest squeeze with EC. I forget if I’ve had to do his one for a whole 2′, but oof. That took some digging in, especially in the las ~30″ of it. Got to trembling from fatigue and occasionally paced a bit as distraction. But mission accomplished, there.

Last, Chapter 58 of AoP. First section was traveling, 24TP. Done at Level 2, as high knees, and in one go. Was a bit of a challenge loading things that way. But manageable.

Workout proper was done at Level 3 (7 sets, 20 push-ups per set.) I definitely savored the 2′ rest time. Had a brief bit of doubt whether I could maintain Level 3, but happy I managed. Admittedly push-ups weren’t very refined and counted holds a bit fast. No less a challenge.

Picked up some iced coffee and spent time updating some logs/archives. Keep falling behind on that tool, keep recognizing this as a sign things Are Not Going Well. But anyways...

I did make another Hello Fresh meal, today. Southwest plant-based protein over rice. A pretty tasty recipe. I think I’m getting a bit of a hang of handling this plant-based protein stuff, in cooking.

Spent rest of day on the usual stuff.

Got to bed around the same time as yesterday, in the red zone.

-

Mar. 14

I woke up around 11AM.

Did a bit of the usual before starting on my exercise...

First, today’s DD. 40 push kicks with EC (20/20). A fun little exercise, nothing too flashy.

(After an interlude of distractions...)

Last, Chapter 59 of AoP. Looks like yesterday, I traveled to the wrong camp location - so I made the first thing I did for the chapter was traveling the 25TP from where I was and where I needed to be. Level 2, as high knees. I split this into 15+10.

Did the workout proper at Level 3 (5 sets, 4 push-ups per defined combos). I went for max rest.Push-ups got a bit sloppy and I did get to feeling it.. But it wa ultimately manageable work!

After hitting the showers and sketching a future art project idea, I spent the rest of night on the usual.

I got to bed a little earlier than yesterday, still in the red zone.

-

Mar. 15

I woke up around 10AM

Did a bit of the usual before getting to a psychiatrist appointment. Went okay, aired out a thing and was met with understanding/receptivity. I still think my meds are staining a bit - but hopefully getting back to one-on-one therapy will help.

After getting home, doing some fic reading, and whatnot, got in my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 3′ overhead punches with EC. I counted 382 punches thrown in the duration, happy I managed to stay over 2/sec at that. Very enjoyable exercise.

Last, Chapter 60 of the Age of Pandora Program. Like last time, I went for Morse’s Plan, figured that’d be a fun thing to test against my previous run of the program.

Lotta basic burpees and squats, but unlike last time I managed Level 3 instead of 2 (7 instead of 5 sets). It was still pretty intense, but not quite as brutal as it was for me a year into this journey, yay for progress (definitely dig what a difference going at this stuff has made in the last 5 years...)! \o/

I then made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Pasta primavera in lemon Parmesan sauce. I thought this was pretty tasty.

Spent rest of night on the usual stuff.

I got to bed obscenely late, in the red zone.

-

Mar. 16

I woke up around noon.

Spent a few hours on: getting iced coffee, doing dishes, breaking down some boxes, and organizing some cookware that I recently decided on ordering.

After that and some of the usual peppered in, did exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 plank rotations with EC. Manageable - took a bit of focus to maintain balance for all of it. Did get a little bit of fatigued, but doable.

Second, Day 1 of the Square One Program. This is a Level 1 Program - so I’m treating it as gentle strength-training and warm-up for the next part of docket. The load was light enough that I modded UP (not using a chair assist) exercises, did things at Level 3, and nixed the rest periods. We’ll see how well I may maintain this - but don’t anticipate issues there.

Last, Day 1 of the Reboot Program. Level 2 Program (cardio-centric), definitely a good deal more intensive than prior for it, considering this the meat of my exercise plan. Did this at Level 3 again, but kept to max rest (did all the hidden burpees, a tiny bit tough on the knees today.)

Spent rest of night on the usual, clothes shopping, and jotting down some more iZ!AU notes.

I got to bed a few hours earlier than yesterday, but still in the red.

-

Mar. 17

I woke up around 11AM.

Went to Seeking Safety Group again, today. Twas alright made some writing notes while teir. Thought about whether I could have the time afterwards to run out to a convenience store while I waited on pick-up - but didn’t do that.

Once I got back home, I got going on my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 50 back leg raises with EC (25/25). Did things as a balance variation. It was nice given how crampy my right hamstrings/glutes were feeling for some unknown reason.

Second, Day 2 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest. Arm work, i kept my arms up for all of the sets and in between them. Got a bit more intensive in the last couple levels.

(After a bit of recovery time, given there was more arm work ahead...)

Last, Day 2 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Yeah a lot of bicep extensions / arm raise hold times. Definitely a more intensive load that SOP. Arms got nice and tired.

Spent rest of the day on the usual stuff.

Got to bed later than yesterday.

-

Mar. 18

I woke up around noon and one of the first things I took care of was exercise.

First, today’s DD. 100 shoulder taps with Ec (standing). Manageable work, a bit tough in the last 30 reps or so.

Second, Day 3 of the SOP. Flexibility day, Level 3, no rest again. The Achilles/calf stretches were satisfying. Pretty breezy and good warmup.

Last, Day 3 of the RbP. Leg day, Level 3. I rested ~1′ in between sets, this time. Kinda glad for the short/small lunge intervals here. I feel like I need to give the knees some TLC again here soon...

Spent several hours on the usual stuff (reminisced about some old fandom stuff). Did a bit more writing before getting to bed too.

I got to bed obscenely late, in the red zone

-

Mar. 19

I woke up around noon.

After some YouTube, I got going on my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 10 archer push-ups, no EC. I wasn’t confident enough to do this type of push-up off the knees today - so modded things down that way. Yeah. Not a huge fan of these

Second, Day 4 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no assists. Enjoyable and gentle balance work, is what I got from it.

Last, Day 4 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Ooof. got to sweating buckets and winded - but done! I’m kinda surprised at how this Level 2 program isn’t as much of a cakewalk as it may seem. the hidden push-ups also helped make things that much more intense. (But I’m still in good enough condition to meet the challenge and I still think the rating is appropriate!)

After a bit of chatting, I made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Oven-ready chili coconut curry chicken. A pretty low-effort meal, which I appreciated. That said - I may have to throw it in oven longer than specified next time around (i think I may’ve used a bit too much foil to cover the tins - might’ve drawn more heat away from the food like the chicken.) Otherwise pretty enjoyable.

After some dishes and chatting, got some substantive writing progress in (letting FocusMe do it’s job for me more effectively, helped).

I got to bed obscenely late, in the red zone... again.

-

Summary of Experience:

I completed my second run through the Age of Pandora Program in March 15. Quite a few days later than intended... but February/March has really been kicking my ass in terms of stress and energy levels.

At any rate, these are my stats from this run of the program:

Points Traveled: 1,428TP, Level 2, as high knees. (1 point = 10 steps.)

Challenge Levels Taken:

Level 3 for 45 Days (vs 19 from prior record!) - Feels pretty good hitting Level 3 for most of it, this time! \o/

Level 2 for 3 Days (vs 29 from prior record)

Level 1 for 1 Day (vs 1 from prior record) - Chapter 55 still kicked my ass, needed to break after Set 2... again. orz

Jobs Taken: 17 (5 Canis + 12 Misc/Ch.) - Looks like I did considerably less than last time.

Fights Won (Pits): 4 (City Pits) - Not counting instances for plot. It was fun doing more of these, this time around! Probably overdid it a little bit in pacing/loading. Pffft.

[Ending] Scraps: 200

Paths Taken (Spoiler-Free Version): Same as prior run!

Alana, Dicer, and Morse were invited to my camp, again.

---

My stats for the previous run from 2016, for reference...

Part 1:

Points Traveled: 755TP, Level 3, as march steps - mostly. (1 point = 20 steps.)

Challenge Levels Taken:

Level 3 for 10 days

Level 2 for 15 days

Jobs Taken: 20 (8 Canis + 6 Equos + 6 Misc.)

Pit-Style Fights Won: 3 (2 Plot + 1 Extra)

[Ending] Scraps: 4450

Paths Taken (Spoiler-Free Version): B, A, A (Perk Get!), A, B, B (To Be Continued...)

Alana, Dicer, and Morse were invited to my camp.

Part 2:

Points Traveled: 633TP, Level 3, as march steps - mostly.

Challenge Levels Taken: [After fixing counting errors]

Level 3 for 9 days

Level 2 for 14 days

Level 1 for 1 day

Jobs Taken: 8 (2 Equos + 6 Misc.)

[Ending] Scraps: 2,885

Paths Taken (Spoiler-Free Version): B, B, A, B, A (Epilogue B?)

[changeling-rin]

Hi! I was wondering, what are your thoughts on the different Zelda games? Not a ranking or anything, just what did you like/dislike in each game/franchise as a whole? And how did you come up with the personalities of the characters for DL? Thank you!

Oof.  Oh, you’re gonna make me Longpost, aren’t you.  Yeah, okay.  You asked for it.

Skyward Sword/Gen 

-I both love, and hate, the motion controls.  On one hand, I have never felt more epic than when I personally stabbed my sword into Demise’s head.  On the other hand, I have never felt more frustrated when my wiimote would misinterpret my swings and I would subsequently die.  Contrary to popular opinion, I actually like Fi.  Her design is beautiful, her theme is gorgeous, and her goodbye to Link is one of the most beautiful yet heartbreaking moments in the entire franchise.  The origin of the Master Sword, in my opinion, might be one of the best things to come out of this game.

Gen’s personality came about mainly as the foil to Lore and Dusk’s pre-existing dynamic.  Lore is the spastic one, and while Dusk is definitely somewhat of the straight-man, he’s much more likely to roll with it unless it’s drastically damaging.  Gen, on the other hand, will avidly apply common sense to anything and everything, and since Lore very rarely follows common sense, Gen morphed into his ‘conscience’, so to speak.  His predilection for healing was a side-effect of me dying a lot in his game and spending more on Red Potion than probably anything else, and also because the group needed a medic and Gen was definitely the most take-charge character I had who would do that sort of thing.

Minish Cap/Speck

The Picori are the cutest things, oh my gosh.  I do, however, suspect their violent and painful end in BotW - if they’re the ones who put the Rupees and Bombs and stuff in the grass, and there’s no such things in BotW…  Aside from that!  I adored the concept of shrinking down and having the entire environment change on you.  It was such a unique way to make an old area new again.  On the flipside, I loathed the Kinstone sidequest with a passion.  I never did manage to match them all.

Speck was basically me saying to myself, ‘He’s a tiny person.  How do tiny people see the world?’  And then he turned into a quiet, shy kid who tries very hard not to be a bother and looks at problems from a completely different angle than most people.  This is why he always second guesses his words - he’s by far the most frequent user of ‘um’, ‘uh’, ‘ah’, ‘oh’, etc, and this is entirely on purpose.  Tiny people, by nature, will do whatever it takes to make sure the bigger people don’t get mad enough to smush them - a bit morbid, I know, but if you think about it…  This is also where his habit of stabbing the eardrum came from.  Where most people wouldn’t even think of it, Speck just saw a really good access point and a whole lot of convenient fabric handholds to get him there.  

Four Swords/The Four

I have actually never been able to get my hands on a copy of the original Four Swords game.  I know.  I’m a disgrace to the fandom.  However, I have done extensive research, and I can say that by far my favorite concept is being able to deploy a Bow-Wow in the direction of my enemies.  I literally cannot imagine it without cackling.  

The Four were the result of me having two sets of Four Sword Heroes and desperately needing some way to tell them apart.  It took a very long time for me to decide to play up the hive mind aspect, but once I did everything clicked for them.  Rather than being split individual aspects of the original Link, the Four are literally a copy-paste of OG Link’s personality with only tiny variations between them, which led to the decision to make them somewhat quiet and awkward about their synchronization.  People rarely accept what’s unfamiliar to them, and to be honest the Four probably have one of the more ‘tragic’ backstories.  They may or may not have been chased out of a town or two due to a couple misunderstandings about the source of their hive mind.  (My babies, I’m so sorry I did this to you I’m a terrible author whyyyyyyyy)

Ocarina of Time/Ocarina

By far, one of the most investing stories in a game.  Ganondorf is fabulously evil, 10/10 would thwart again.  Music, of course, is beautiful.  The travel mechanic, on the other hand, I am not a fan of.  Trying to get somewhere before getting the respective warping Song is tedious at best, and the sheer amount of time it takes for me to swap between Young and Adult Link is just… it’s a hassle, is what it is.  

Ocarina is a little kid in a Big Person’s body, and I write him accordingly.  He’s the wide-eyed boy in a brand-new world.  He’s naive to a lot of things and oblivious to several others.  He and Mask have a bit of an odd dynamic because of this - Ocarina will basically gravitate to wherever Mask is as a sort of unconscious instinct, under the unrealized assumption that Mask means protection.  The ‘Little Brother’ mentality, if you will.  

Majora’s Mask/Mask

THE MOON.  THE FREAKING MOON.  I will never be able to play this game without feeling vaguely stressed and unsettled the entire time and THAT FREAKING MOON is the reason why.  Very compelling plot, 10/10, but WHY.  Aside from that, the music is fantastic, Majora is Creepy To The Max and we so rarely get that in Zelda games so I am on board, the transformation masks are probably my favorite mechanic, and your heartstrings get yanked on several times with the Goron Lullaby quest and Mikau’s entire storyline.  

Mask evolved directly as the opposite to Ocarina, with the caveat that he is directly aware of Ocarina’s unconscious ‘Little Brother’ mindset - Mask just happens to be sincerely uncomfortable with the ‘Big Brother’ role.  He’s more knowledgable, more experienced, and this was done explicitly to be in direct contrast with the fact that he looks like a little kid.  He’s Ocarina’s opposite in every single way, and it’s fun to have them play off each other.

Twilight Princess/Dusk

Probably my favorite game, art-style-wise.  There’s some things that Twilight Princess does fantastically well artistically, not to mention that it contains one of my favorite characters of all time.  Midna is awesome and there’s nothing that will convince me otherwise.  I actually think the wolf mechanic is a really good way to make new problems within old areas - but I will admit, the bug hunts can be tedious.  And that one escort mission can go jump off a cliff. But I adore everything about the concept of a Twilight Realm, and even though Ganondorf comes in and kinda shafts Zant out of the way, he’s fabulous enough that I can accept it.  They are, after all, both marvelously evil.  

Dusk’s personality came from me thinking back on everything that happens in his game and promptly deciding that: he either went a little insane to deal with it all, or he had the lowest level of crap to give that I’d ever seen.  Obviously, I decided on the latter, and I’m very glad I did, because from there that allowed me to build the faux-duo-actually-triad leadership between him, Lore, and Gen that works so very well.  I kinda ended up putting a little of myself into Dusk, in that he’s very reserved and will think about what he says before saying it.  Of course, I had to incorporate the wolf somehow, and the way that was the most fun for me was to bring some of those traits over into his hylan form.  One of these was me interpreting the howling mechanic as Dusk being a naturally good singer, and we all know where that led.

Four Swords Adventures/Red, Blue, Green, and Vio

The loss of the Bow-Wow hits me deeply, but we do get horses so that helps a little.  Also, it surprised me a little how similar this game is to the predecessor, Four Swords.  There’s a couple plot differences, Shadow Link is a thing, but for the most part it follows a very similar pattern and I kinda wish something different had been done.  It’s fun having more than one weapon to swing around, but not quite as much without other people to play with.  The one thing I have to say about Zelda multiplayer games is that, without actual multiple players, it’s just… not as fun.

I freely admit that large parts of Green, Vio, Red, and Blue’s personalities came directly from the FSA manga - particularly, the subversion of color expectations by having Red be the timid one and Blue be the aggressive one.  You never see that nowadays, and I immediately pounced on it.  Vio and Green had slightly less large chunks of manga personality, but I basically ripped their inner-group dynamic wholesale.  Their individual interactions though, those are all me.  Blue and Vio just seemed like natural bicker partners.  Red’s Adorable Puppy face evolved out of the sheer amount of times the manga had him on the verge of, or shedding, actual tears.  And Green naturally needed to be the exasperated leader keeping them all in line.  It all just sorta flowed from there.

Link to the Past/Lore

The originator of such musical classics like Kakariko Village, the Dark World theme, and Zelda’s Lullaby, and I thank this game for making these songs so good.  I adore the way that the Dark World can take the entire freaking country of Hyrule and turn it into something completely new.  But there were some times where I wasn’t sure where to go?  I don’t know if it was me or not, and it could have been.  I might just be bad at inferring destinations.  

Lore is the direct result of being the target of four entire games, and me thinking to myself, ‘Now how does a normal person deal with something like that?’  The answer was, of course, that they throw normality out a window.  Lore is my way to have fun, and also to let out every random impulse I’ve ever had but never acted on.  In a way, Lore is me, but without all the inhibitions.  Sometimes he ends up being a direct conduit between my brain-thoughts and the page.  That aside, I also gladly seized the opportunity to bring something different to the group, which is how the different languages came in.  He’s the only Link who actively, within his games, visits other countries, and there was no way I could pass that up.  

Oracle of Ages/Oracle of Seasons

They remind me of Pokemon titles.  “Here’s these two games!  With the exception of some minor details, they’re exactly the same!  Combine them for a special surprise!”  I do think the Subrosians are adorable though.  And of course, shout-out to Veran, the only explicitly female villain the Zelda franchise has ever seen.  Maybe someday you’ll get a friend to help you out in that testosterone-filled mess.  Maybe someday. 

Link’s Awakening

Far sadder than I anticipated it being.  Also, the Bow-Wow returns!  Clearly the best thing in the game. On the bad side - I don’t remember which one it was - there was this one dungeon that just… for the life of me I could not get it to make sense in my brain.  I don’t know why.  I also don’t remember what the solution was.  Very engaging story though, the Windfish mystery kept me engaged right up to the Big Reveal.

A Link Between Worlds/Sketch

The painting mechanic is just.  It’s so clever.  The entire landscape is transformed with a single dimension shift and I loved it.  I was kinda skeptical about the same map as LttP, but then Lorule happened and I was pleased enough with that to accept it.  Ravio and Hilda are fine additions to the LoZ family and I wholeheartedly accept them - also, the Lorule Castle theme is one of the best songs in the franchise, fight me.  One thing I do remember is this one boss battle, I think with some sort of Manhandla plant?  It took me at least ten or so tries to get past that thing.  Really didn’t enjoy that one.

Everything intentional about Sketch evolved from his painting ability, this being his phobia of water, his tendency to use stealth in a confrontation, and his continued sidetracking with artistic ideas.  At some point though, he turned into one of the most sarcastic Links in the bunch, and I’m really not sure how it happened.  But it seemed to fit him for whatever reason.

The Legend of Zelda/Realm

I regrettably have not been able to get my hands on this one either, but I have watched a play-though.  My observations are as follows:                    Where is the map.  How did anyone figure out where they were going in this game.  I don’t understand how that wall was supposed to indicate it was bomb-able.  How did people play this game without getting too frustrated to continue.                                                                                       On the bright side, the dungeons seemed to be very well-laid-out, and the bosses, while repetitive, were pretty memorable.  I suspect I would get lost within the first ten minutes, though.

Realm is directly based off of my above observations.  I am firmly of the opinion that absolutely nobody can make it through the original LoZ game without getting lost at least once, and this resulted in Realm’s absolutely abysmal sense of direction.  Consequently, I made him hopelessly optimistic and cheerful enough to make the sun jealous, because the only person who could put up with those sorts of mishaps is the person who can just get right back up and keep going.  Also, the fact that I myself and severely directionally challenged means that writing Realm comes very easily.

The Adventure of Link

I have not played this one either.  I apologize.  That said, I dislike the switch from top-down to 2-D scroller.  In comparison with literally every other game in the franchise, AoL feels the least like a ‘Zelda’ title.  Though, for the invention of Shadow Link, I award at least few points.

Wind Waker/Wind

It’s adorable.  It’s somehow a very dark and serious game disguising everything behind a cute and cartoony art style and even though I can recognize it I don’t actually care.  The story is engaging, Tetra is the Best Pirate, and the ocean makes it feel so big.  I do think the sailing mechanic can be a bit time-consuming before the warp travel kicks in, and I actually feel like Ganondorf went down too easily, maybe?  

Wind is based off of sailing, basically.  I took the amount of time it takes him, in-game, to get places and decided that he has the patience of a saint.  Also the bafflingly ability to stay awake for three days straight, but that hasn’t come up in DL, so.  Because of this, he’s usually pretty content to let conversations evolve without much input from him, unless he’s got something important to say.  And of course, he’s got the Wind Waker, which resulted in me making up an entire magical classification system to explain why he’s so good at controlling the weather, accompanied by an entire chapter-length head canon about the relation between the weather and music.  Ironically enough, for all that Wind has no instrument of his own, the fact that he’s a conductor means he’s actually the most musically talented of the whole group.

Phantom Hourglass

I wouldn’t call it a worthy sequel to Wind Waker, but I honestly don’t think it’s too bad - with the exception of the Temple of the Ocean King.  First time, it was kinda fun.  Second time, less fun,  Third time, getting repetitive.  Fourth time, getting annoying.  Fifth time, and I was really done with that mechanic.  The remixed Sailing Theme was good though, and once I got past Linebeck’s surface personality I liked him pretty well too.

Spirit Tracks/Steam

I have never played this one, but the concept seems fun.  The riding-a-train song is amazing.  This Zelda is probably the most fleshed-out that the character has ever been, and I dearly hope she can take the position of ‘companion guide’ again someday.  Or maybe even ‘protagonist’, who knows?  I do dislike how vague Malladus is, because as the Final Bad Guy I feel like he should have been solidified more than just “Demon sealed a long time ago”.  And to be honest, why Trains?  It just seems so random.  

Steam, like several other Links, is based around his gameplay.  As an engineer, he’s a pretty hands-on type of person, which is why he frequently gets distracted with the inner workings of other Links’ items.  And due to the fact that Trains require very little input to control and a lot of travel time, he’s the least physical of all of them.  This basically means that he runs the slowest, hits the lightest, and will likely bring the least to the table in a fight.  This is one of the reasons I gave him the ‘I Like Trains’ summon, because even if he himself can’t hit very hard, his Train sure as heck can. 

Oh my gosh I think this took me a solid hour to type out, I hope you’re very happy with this response Anon ;)

[kierongillen]

As i’ve seen this happen more than once, what goes through your mind when a big plot twist or piece of the puzzle gets unintentionally spoiled by the fans theorizing the future of the book? Does the rest of the story gets put on temporary hold to try to figure out how to write something new or is the story set in stone no matter what may happen? If someone were to spoil the ending of the entire book completely unintentionally and you were able to experience the reaction, will it change a thing?

Oh, god, no. Never change anything if someone’s guessed something. Nothing good lies in that direction.

Why?

Okay, let’s talk - with no specifics - Game of Thrones. If you go into the depths of fandom, Game of Thrones is - to some degree, in some areas - a solved problem. There’s a good selection of fan theories (some of which have come to fruition) which have so much meat on them it was clear they have to happen, or the book would break its structure and become unsatisfying.

These twists are available to anyone who wishes to google for them.

The vast majority of people don’t. So… why change the direction of the story? What’s the point of fucking over the enjoyment of the vast majority of people (i.e. making your story make less sense, as you’re abandoning the already existent thread) for playing gotcha on a tiny fraction of your audience?

(As a quick aside - compare and contrast theorising in a fanbase with actual events in the text that’s being adapted. Clearly, anyone who is watching GoT could have googled the synopsis of the book. Equally, anyone who’s read the books knows the big beats. Does the adaptation change the big beats? If surprise to everyone in your audience is all that mattered, you would. We don’t.)

It’s also worth noting that, while obviously some complain on the nature of the adaptation, most fans of a book generally complain that they wish it was more like the book. In other words, things that surprised them (i.e. differed from their knowledge of the text) were less satisfying. They wanted to see the big dramatic beats, even if they’re stripped of their surprise.

Surprise only matters the first time you read something. For me, any worthwhile piece of literature exists to be re-read, and will open up more upon re-reading. In other words, knowing the twist should add to the re-reading of the book. If it doesn’t, and renders the story less than it was, it’s probably a bad twist - which is one reason why I don’t tend to call them “Plot twists” to myself. I call them reveals. The plot doesn’t contort. It’s merely revealing something in the nature of the world the reader was unaware of. 

(As an aside, this means that someone who has guessed successful the direction of the plot is actually effectively skipping to their second read of the book earlier.)

There’s the other side of this as well - not just whether a plot beat has been guessed, but the almost inevitability of a plot beat being guessed. GoT fans have had twenty years to puzzle this out. In that period, a mass communication device emerged which allowed fans to talk to one another and share ideas. This machine would have torn apart any plot. 

No one individual needs to guess anything. People can make one step in a chain, and then that step is exposed to thousands of minds. If even one of them can make the intuitive leap to the next step, then it continues. No one person needs to be clever enough to see the whole thing. The internet hivemind is Miss Marple, seeing through the most contorted of machinations. 

(In passing, this is one reason why Alternate Reality Games are hard to do, because the mass hive mind will figure almost anything out, almost instantly. Equally in passing, the failure to understand this is another reason why Ready Player One is bad, but that’s irrelevant.)

In other words, the reason why twists are guessable is the same reason they are satisfying. A twist that isn’t foreshadowed sufficiently to give the possibility of being guessed by someone is not a satisfying twist, as it - by definition - came out of nowhere. 

To make this specific to my own work. In the case of the biggest and most intricate of my current books, WicDiv, we sell about 18k in monthlies and sell 18k in trades (in the first month of release). That’s our hardcore devoted readership. How many people of them actually read the essays in the WicDiv tags? I’d say 500 at the absolute maximum, and likely a lot less. So for a maximum of 1.3% of our readership, we’d derail a still effective twist for everyone else? No, that would be a bad call.

Especially - and this is key - the people who have chosen to engage with a fandom are aware that they may figure something out. They are trying to figure something out. Why take that pleasure away from them?

In a real way, I think, in long form narrative, pure plot twists which no-one in the world guesses are dead in the Internet age, at least when dealing with any even vaguely popular work of art. You can do them in short form narratives (like a single novel, a single movie and perhaps a streaming TV show they drop in one go) but for anything where you give a fanbase the chance to think, it’s just not going to happen. A creator should be glad their work is popular enough to have enough fans to figure it out.

Yes, I may have overthought this.

But that’s only half the question. 

How do I actually feel when someone guesses something that’s going to happen? Well, this is long enough already. Let’s put the personal stuff beneath a cut…

I’d say you sigh “Oh, poop”and shrug.

And then you get over your ass, because you know all the above is true. Writers are often meglomaniacs who think they can control everyone’s response to their work. We don’t. We can’t control everything. We can barely control anything. We really have to let go. I’ve said WicDiv is a device to help me improve as a person? It would include in this area. I have to learn to let it go, and internalise all of the above. If I can make most of my readership have the vague emotional response I’m looking for, I’m winning.

I’ve mostly succeeded at this. I’m certainly better than I was 2 years ago.

(’ll probably write more about spoilers and twists and stuff down the line. I’d note that setting up twists that *are* easily guessable by the hardcore is part of the methodology. Having a nice big twist foreshadowed heavily is a good way to hide another twist behind it. “Hey - pay attention to this less subtle sleight of hand while I perform the actual sleight of hand over here.”In which case, there’s far less of an Oh Poop response and more of a cackling evil mastermind response.)

The sigh can occasionally be accompanied with a “Hmm. I wouldn’t have posted that” or - more likely - “I wouldn’t have posted that THERE.” 

To stress, what follows, isn’t about my work per se, but culture generally, and very much personal. This is stuff which good friends disagree with me on.

As a fan, I never tweet my own fan theories. I only tweet joke ones. Even my crack theories I don’t tweet, as they’re normally so bizarre that if they actually DO happen, I wouldn’t want to take the thrill away from people. Even in person in conversation I make sure we’re going into a deep fan hole before sharing them, aware that they may be true.

In a real way, the more likely I think something is true, the less likely I’ll say it. As this is my job, I tend to see basic structural ways stories are heading way in advance of most people. I’m a composer. I know how music works. You have a vague sense of what way they’ll go.

(One day I’ll write down my crack theory for the end of the previous Game of Thrones season. Maybe after next season, as it’s not impossible that they may end up doing it, though it’s increasingly unlikely.)

If I had a really good theory I’ve gathered evidence for? You can guarantee I’d put it beneath a cut. That’s the stuff which bemuses me. It’s a cousin of posting major spoilers about any piece of culture the day it comes. The worst is one regular twitter  trope - I’m always bemused when people do a “Calling it! XYZ will happen” tweet. Which strikes me a little like standing up in the cinema 20 minutes into a film and shouting out that you’ve guessed the ending. This ties back to the stuff I wrote above about twists being less effective in the modern age, except in a place you can control the context and conversation. People may message in movies, but they rarely message everyone in the room.

(In passing, as it’s vaguely on topic - you may remember the research from a few years ago saying people who know a twist enjoy the story more than people who don’t know a twist. Even this is true - and a single study should always get an eye-brow raise - but it strikes me as a confusion over what “enjoy” means. All pleasure isn’t equivalent, and you can only have surprise on your first time through a work of art. That’s novelty. You can have that and then gain the “Not surprise” experience second time through. If you spoil a work, it means the “novelty” experience is something you will never have. You may enjoy something more if you know the twist but you can always rewatch it to get that pleasure. If you’re spoiled, the individual specific pleasure of that first watch has been stolen.)

But that’s conversation of social mores. Really, it doesn’t change anything in terms of how we act… and sometimes, I even grin when someone gets a twist in advance. If someone gets it, great. The machine is working as intended. It’s actually kind of worrying if no-one is thinking something is up in an area you’ve set up to be iffy.  And… the alternative is worse - hell, there’s buried twists and details in Young Avengers that no-one’s managed to figure out yet.

Twist ending: oh, no, I was a ghost all along.