#I cried during the alt universe episode

[argentdandelion]

How To Get Your Number Down to Zero (Part 2 of 3)

Unsuccessful/Still Trapped Passengers (Sorted in chronological order)

Amelia’s Problem

(Warning: Covers some depressing subtext in indirect language.)

It seems the turning point in Amelia’s arc was when she gave up after One-One was put back into the control panel and reinstated as the Conductor. Early in her conversation with Tulip afterward, she says: “I don’t want a life without Alrick!” and starts crying. This is probably significant: during the memory scene when people tell her the funeral is starting, she isn’t crying, whimpering, or making obvious signs of distress. In fact, none of her memories shown depict her crying or with obviously sad facial expressions. She might disapprove of crying: when Atticus is hit with the transformation ray and the Steward has Tulip, Tulip cries floods of tears, and the Conductor mockingly says “Aww...no more tears” and wipes away her tears with a handkerchief. In contrast, at the following episode’s start, One-One tells Tulip it's okay to cry, and cry she does. The idea she is habitually against crying, or other displays of sadness, may be furthermore supported by the subtlety of her expressions of sadness in Season 3, Episode 8, even after she’s spent some time improving.

Certainly, the passengers that have reached zero have gotten through great, openly expressed emotional discomfort, which, for most, included substantial crying. It may be that Amelia, in hurrying past her trauma or glossing over her turmoil, refused chances for emotional processing or growth. Removing her from power forced her to change her framework, mourn Alrick, adapt to a life without him, and make amends for all her mistakes.

Grace’s Problem

Desire: A desire for others’ validation, due to a fear of being wrong, disappointing others, and not being enough; needing to avoid being alone. Approach: Repeatedly lying, deceiving, and making stuff up with no basis to gain the approval of others or control them to her ends; creating a cult of children with her as the much-admired leader, hiding things from others to maintain relationships/admiration Character Arc: (Abridged for concision) “I’m the admired leader of the Apex, in which denizens are said to not be real people, and are mere toys created by the train to amuse passengers to do with as they wish, including harming and killing them →my inability to confront my fears and the way of life created from them has made everyone suffer and led me to being alone, despite all my attempts to avoid it. I’m going to undo as much of the harm I caused as I can.”

In Book 2 and early in Book 3, Grace appeared somewhat vain in how she occasionally checked herself out in a compact mirror or in the reflective surface of a denizen’s light. It might be a holdover from wanting to look good for the sake of being validated by others or nor disappointing them, although she is much admired by Apex members, to the point one member even made an outfit much like hers.

Grace was reluctant to tell Simon about her number dropping because she feared Simon would think less of her for it. Though she initially distrusted Tuba and wanted to separate her from Hazel, if not kill her entirely, she gradually revised her opinion of Tuba, and tearfully mourned her death.

It’s possible her number dropped prior to “Le Chat Chalet” because of all the time she had spent being friendly to Hazel, a denizen, although she didn’t even know Hazel was a denizen at the time. It’s unclear whether unintentional or inadvertent character growth also counts in getting a number down.

Her number drops rapidly when she admits her fears while trapped in her memory tape, confronts being wrong, and apologizes to an image of Hazel. She leaves the tape after she raises a hand in goodbye to a memory of Hazel, thus giving her a resolution, unhappy as it is, to that section of her life. When she confronts Simon back at the Apex, she tries to undo the ideology she created and repeatedly tries to save Simon from himself. The endpoints of their arcs are well-summarized by the following exchange:

Grace: "We've been doing it wrong! We can still change!" (down at least three digits) Simon: "Why would I ever want to change if I'm always right?" (up at least five digits)

Simon’s Problem (Speculative):

How Simon got onto the Train is not shown; even supplemental statements by Owen Dennis (of dubious canon; in the same tweet he said the Train is a reality show for aliens) are vague. The following is based on educated guesses.

Problem (Speculative): Insecurity born of unstable attachments, leading to excessive or “clingy” focus on very few people (i.e., Grace); fear of abandonment, fear of being wrong/admitting such. Approach: Gaining secure attachment/fulfilling relationships through Grace; gaining purpose, power, and control by being the second-in-command of the Apex. Character Arc: (Abridged for concision) “I am happy and secure with my relationship with Grace and about my beliefs about denizens and the train’s purpose → Grace betrayed the Apex and me, so I’m not going to listen any more and shall kill her.” (and then he is killed by a Ghom)

It’s much less clear what issues or turmoil got Simon on the Train, because his story before the train isn’t shown, and he doesn’t outright talk about it. Most likely, it has something to do with emotional insecurity, created by or related to unstable attachments, leading to a fear of abandonment (which possibly developed into a desire to enforce “loyalty” in ‘dictator mode’) and, as a product of that, a fear of being wrong or admitting such.

The idea Simon’s problem is related to a fear of being wrong, or admitting it, comes how he not once ever admits to being wrong or doing the wrong thing or apologizes. He very rarely even uses the word “sorry”, much less in a sincere way.3 (When he backs down when Grace tells him to not do something, he typically says “okay” in a subdued voice, not “sorry.”) He doesn’t even make the most paper-thin and perfunctory apology to Hazel for killing Tuba, even seeing how distressed she is, even when told letting Hazel have a funeral has practical benefits. The closest he comes to admitting he was wrong is telling Grace: “You were right not to trust her [Amelia]!” He only acknowledges the possibility Amelia (not a man, as he had assumed) is indeed the “True Conductor” in a hypothetical: “And even if she was [the True Conductor], she’s lost her way!”. Even for a confident and arrogant kind of person, Simon’s habits are extreme.

Judging by how strongly Simon responds to being called "a child", it’s possible that characterization relates to the trauma that put him on the train. Although it’s possible people calling him “a child” in a condescending or mocking way is part of it, the most probable interpretation is that it relates to him being wrong or not knowing what he’s doing. When he leaves The Cat’s chalet in season 3, episode 7, he says: “I’m not a child anymore. I know what I’m doing.”) In the next episode, Amelia aggressively says: “Have you ever considered that you've been wrong? Hah! Of course not! You're a child."

Most likely, he cries upon seeing the “We won’t tell Simon” memory due to a fear of abandonment or betrayal. When Grace saves him, the second sentence he says is “Samantha left me!” as he starts sobbing. (He doesn’t ever wonder where Samantha is or whether she’s safe.) In Season 3, Episode 7, he briefly cries again when recalling how Samantha abandoned him.

Perhaps the most obvious potential turning point in Simon’s arc when when he saw the secret Grace had been keeping from him. He could have concluded many things from this, whether concerning his moral culpability, being wrong about denizens, or using tougher tactics to talk things out with Grace or even friend-dump her, which all had some probability of lowering his number. Instead, he concludes something along the lines of: “In keeping that secret from me, in choosing Hazel over me, Grace betrayed me.”

Another obvious potential turning point is when he exits Grace’s memories and seems numb or regretful of what he’s done. Though he could have undone or minimized the damage then, he only makes a dismissive “hmmph” and walks away. The last point he had to turn back was when he asked why Grace had saved him on the bridge next to the Mall Car (Season 3, Episode 10), and he thought over Grace’s answer of “I don’t know”, only to kick her off the bridge.

Simon, unlike any other passenger shown, doesn’t change his beliefs, values, perspectives, behavior, or even interpersonal skills over the course of his character arc. For all his boldness, for all the emphasis on the people of the Apex being “brave”...his arc ended lethally from his inability to confront his fears and fight through his emotional pain.

It is possible her desire changed between Alrick’s death and some time after getting on the train; she may have initially desired her own death until she believed she could recreate her old life using the train. ↩︎

It’s only an educated guess she was trying to die; what else could she have been planning to do that evening when heading to the university building? However, she does pause in front of the building and seems surprised then it loses its roof. She may have gotten to the roof to investigate why that happened: since the train can modify its appearance to lure in passengers, this makes sense. Tulip tried to walk to Oshkosh at night in a Wisconsin winter with only a light jacket: she was so emotionally distraught as to unwittingly put her in danger of death by hypothermia. Similarly, “in physical danger due to emotional distress” may have matched Amelia’s motive when the train appeared. ↩︎

His line: “Sorry to be the voice of reason again, but there’s no body!” in “The Campfire Car” doesn’t count; it’s exasperation phrased in a way that’s mildly polite or passive-aggressive. In Book 2, he says: "I'm so sorry you two had to see this. I tried to take care of it before you came back." It's not actually apologetic.  ↩︎

[theskamlibrary]

75 dates in the Skam Universe Masterpost

Thank you so much for everyone who participated, we had a total of X dates in the Skam Universe. We are so grateful for every content creators who put such hard work and shared it with us, you are the backbone of this fandom and the ones who make it worthwhile. 

Support your content creators! Reblog their posts, give them feedback, comment, share the love.  

FIC

Cliché by @catloves3 {WTFock - Zoë Loockx/Senne De Smet - 497 words}

written for (fun)fair

Senne, Zoe, Jana, and Luka at a funfair.

*****

click by @butforwardiscalling {Skam Italy - Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta - 1613 words }

written for shooting photos 

niccolò has a camera. martino is his preferred model, willing or not.

*****

Cheats and Prank Wars by @toobaddiane {Druck - Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner - 2507 words}

written for prank war

It’s the summer after their first year in university started and the boys are just lazying around. After an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine gives Jonas an idea, they engage in a harmless prank war. What could possibly go wrong when someone is super competitive and their boyfriend is their teammate?

Or Matteo and David are teammates in a prank war and David is a competitive jerk.

*****

I think I like my eyes by @ayellowcurtain {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 1026 words}

written for building a pillow fort 

*****

shut up and kiss me by @orpheuscris {Skam Espana - Cris Soto/Joana Bianchi - 3441 words}

written for study date

Joana and Cris have been at odds nearly the entire time they've been sitting next to each other in class. So that’s why it’s such a surprise when one day, near the end of the semester, Cris invites Joana over to her house to study. And why she’s even more surprised by herself when she accepts.

*****

show me the things (that you believe in) by @softdemaury {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 6329 words}

written for at home movie night

“Guess there goes your movie, then.” Lucas says while they’re sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Wait, you didn’t organize this to get out of watching that damn thing, right?” Eliott squints his eyes at Lucas, raising his fork in an attempt to look threatening.

Lucas laughs, “You think I’d do that? Of course I didn’t. We’ll just watch it next time, no big deal.”

or

5 times Eliott fails in making Lucas watch 10 Things I Hate About You and the 1 time Lucas takes the matter into his own hands

*****

Future Little Koala by @youleavebehindmemories {Skam Italy - Eva Brighi/Giovanni Garau - 2697 words }

written for wedding 

It's basically Giovanni and Eva at the wedding of Marti and Nicco with glimpses into Gio & Eva's future, domestic life! (as well as background moments from others)

*****

Feels like Love by @tunonseisolonico {Skam Italy - Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta - 2602 words }

written for karaoke 

“Come on, Marti! Let´s go and sing a song, the two of us!”

“You for real?!” Marti immediately exclaimed, being full of doubts.

He couldn't help but got flashbacks in his head, thinking back to Silvia´s 80´s party, him sitting close to Nico on the couch, Emma on Nico´s other side. Niccolò asking them to sing a song with him, Marti already refusing to do so back then.

“Of course, I´m not joking!”

“Well, sounds like it. No, I´m not going to sing a song with you!”

*****

come with me, my love (to the sea of love) by @lepetitepeach {Skam France -Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 4816 words }

written for aquarium

there’s a small touch of wonder to everything that lives in the ocean

*****

critter cottage by @spacekardemomme {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 1546 words }

As he walked further into the room, he watched the rise and fall of eliott's chest, the way his hair is messily sprawled along the pillow, a few strands scattered across his forehead and cheekbones.

this is who i’m meant to spend the rest of my life with

*****

Yearning for more than a blue day by @modestytreehouse  {Skam Norway - Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen - 3723 words  }

written for brunch date 

He really should leave while Isak is still asleep and spare him the awkwardness of waking up beside Even. Spare himself the shame when Isak recognizes him.

*****

Kings of the cargo hold by @evakuality {Skam Norway - Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen -  3029 words}

written for cruise // art created by @hjertetssunnegalskap1 

“You’re early,” a voice says, a breathy, stuttery quality to it as its owner pants into the room behind Isak, the clatter of his feet loud as his footsteps echoes off the metal of the walls. “I was supposed to be here before you.” “What is all this?” Isak gestures at the table laid out in front of them. “Well, you agreed to eat with me,” Even says, his unfairly gorgeous blue eyes lit up as he stares into Isak’s soul

Aka, the one where Even gets extra as he prepares for the perfect moment with Isak.

*****

sens de la vie by @livvyblxckthxrn {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 2809 words}

written for museum date

a little dive into all of those instagram pics and stories

*****

det betyr jo alltid noe, det gjør jo det by @pagnilagni {Skam Norway - Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen - 8722 words }

written for apple picking // in Norwegian // translation in English by Bolomapa

Han står oppgitt ute på den overgrodde plenen og ser på epletrærne. De er gamle og krokete, har altfor mange greiner, de henger for tett sammen under den tette trekronen, tynget av røde epler tett i tett, de skulle vært tynnet, sa naboen, og treet skulle vært beskåret, han sa det et par uker etter at han beskar sine egne trær. “Men det er for sent nå, sevjen stiger, treet kommer til å blø i hjel. Du får ta det neste år i stedet”, hadde han sagt, mens han klappet ham faderlig på skulderen.

Han ser på epletrærne med den modne frukten, en mengde epler har falt ned i natt, mange flere enn i går, han burde plukke dem nå, han burde absolutt det. Men hva skal han med dem, lurer han på, en fortvilende klump i magen spør ham om svaret på det, for han aner ikke, å bruke en kilo epler er greit, kanskje to, han kan vel bake to eplekaker, men alt dette, det må være hundrevis av kilo, hva faen bruker folk dette til?

*****

You’ll never believe how ice cream helped this man to get a date by @nofeartina    {Skam Norway - Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen - 3333 words }

written for ice cream 

If it wasn't for Magnus, Isak would never have ended up at this ridiculous hipster ice cream place. But then again, he never would have met that ridiculously cute ice cream guy, either.

Sometimes it really pays off being a good friend.

Or 5 times Isak buys ice cream for Magnus and 1 time Even buys it for Isak.

*****

come and fade me by @ho1ogram {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 3957 words}

written for grocery shopping

And no matter how many times he repeats the same lines over and over again till he runs out of reasons to support why dating should be banned (it's a lie; Lucas will never run out of reasons for this purpose, he just gives in to the looks the boys - or Eliott - throw at him) that his friends understand his struggles, his pleas for them to stop. And always, like clockwork, he ends in having them set him up with an unknown guy.

or, Lucas is tired of going on dates after dates with guys that aren't Eliott, and Eliott has a few tricks up his sleeves.

*****

Thousand spires and thousand bridges by @hjertetssunnegalskap1 {Druck - Matteo Florenzi/ David Schreibner - 46352 words}

written for vacation // art by @hjertetssunnegalskap1

In this world, Matteo and David met during Abitur back in Berlin, just like in the canon story and they made sandwiches and almost kissed at the neon party, but David backed out, Matteo did the same and.... nothing more happened.

Now they are studying in Prague. Matteo thinks he lost his chance with David a long time ago. What David thinks, nobody knows.

*****

it's nice to have a friend by @livvyblxckthxrn {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 6592 words}

written for rollerskating

5 times eliott and lucas definitely were not on a date, and one time they were

*****

to all who come to this happy place, welcome by @tawmlinsun {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 4703 words }

written for disneyland // art by @cottonsdraw

"eliott demaury, you just passed your bac. what are you going to do now?"

"i'm taking my boyfriend to disneyland!"

*****

Super Smash Bros by @thegirlnooneknows5 {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 11672 words}

written for video games // playlist

“Okay. Pretend I’m a customer. Sell me this game.”

Eliott's smile was determined. “You ever had a customer you wanted to throw into the wall?”

“Countless.”

“Knock-Out X lets you live that fantasy.” He pulled the game off Lucas’ lap and held it up. The thought of Eliott’s hands so close to him coloured Lucas’ face pink. Eliott continued, “Just imagine if you could throw that customer into a wall and leave with no scratches, bruises or consequences. And look super badass while doing it.” “Seriously, though. You’re going to love it.”

-Or, a Striking Vipers Elu au in which they fall in love through a virtual reality game because love transcends all

*****

Coffee, Gay Gurus, and a Dance by @amyriadfthings {Druck - Matteo Florenzi/David - 1242 words}

written for coffee date

Good things happen over coffee. David & Matteo visit a veritable Berlin cultural institution and learn how to swing dance. Gay Gurus in action. Bonus gay gurus to appear eventually.

*****

Small Things by @probablydaydreamingg​ {Skam Italy - Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta - 3232 words}

written for concert

Martino gave Nico two tickets for a concert as a graduation present. A cute date ensues.

*****

Hedgehog, on the rocks by @flying-elliska {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 4635 words}

written for drinks

Lucas's boyfriend just left him, two days before he has to go to his cousin's wedding, who just so happens to be marrying the town billionaire, and his friends are all otherwise engaged...

So as he arrives alone, he heads to the bar for some liquid courage.

Turns out the bartender isn't having a great evening either. So he embarks Lucas in a creative quest to find him the perfect beverage...

...

It's not a date yet. But there's still time...

*****

If I Should Fall Behind by @irazor {Skam Norway - Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen - 14732 words}

written for fancy dinner // art by @lovethem2121

The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

Or: 3 times Isak didn't know what to say to Even, and 1 time he did.

*****

Fontainebleau by @hallo-catfish {Skam France - Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 12770 words}

written for camping

Lucas, let’s go camping, Eliott says, and with a vision of perfect quiet and green leaves unfurling before his eyes, Lucas agrees without even looking up from his problem set.

*

The summer after Lucas' first year in university, Lucas and Eliott take a weekend trip to Fontainebleau. 

*****

Under Starry Skies Above by @fille-lioncelle {Druck - Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner - 7197 words}

written for weekend getaway 

Matteo and David have been feeling a little dejected, so Matteo suggests they get away for a weekend trip.

*****

Lost & bound by @hjertetssunnegalskap1 {Skam Norway -  Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen - 16397 words)

written for bicycle date

Even has been in a bicycle accident and he has lost his memory of the past three years. However, Isak gets a shock when Even tells him that they’re bonded soulmates, and expects them to be a couple.

*****

Così fan tutte by @hallo-catfish {Skam France - Chloé Jeanson/Lucille, Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant - 14070 words}

written for opera

Lucille goes to the opera. It’s another double date.

*****

ART

➔ @hjertetssunnegalskap1 : X - X

➔ @cottonsdraw : X

A TOTAL OF 196,241 WORDS HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR THIS FEST, CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU TO ALL THE PARTICIPANTS! 

[fleurpageons]

Cast interviews during the screening - Friday, February 22

I’m not sure the insta stories from the official account skamlaserie have been translated already, but since I’ve been asked in PM, I thought I’d translate the interviews with the cast for everyone. They took place at the screening last Friday. Enjoy!

Maxence (to the audience): We would never have thought that it would be that intense, that you’d be so present, that involved with us. We started this adventure thinking, we are going to help one person and if we do that we will have achieved our goal. And then we see all of you here, I’m so happy to be here because last time he (Axel) was not with me. This thing, we built it together with Axel and David, and that’s fucking beautiful.

How did Skam impact your life?

Axel: I think it more or less impacted all of us, especially when I see that, this story, the bed scene, I have the feeling I’m watching two beings who are loving each other and I don’t even take in it’s two men. I think it really opened my mind.

(about the kiss scene) We were very anxious because we knew how important it was for the plot. It was a first kiss that needed to surpass everything. It’s also the first time Lucas faces and transcends his fears and we needed to see that.

(when he discovered the script for S3) It was crazy because we knew the story was going to move us but we had not read the scipt, and david was calling us every week to tell us “buddies, you are not ready, you are not ready”. Obviously we weren’t ready since we had not read anything! Then one day he gave us the script and it really was a slap in the face for me. I laughed, I cried, I really felt Lucas and it was crazy because I knew it was going to be me.

What kind of student were you?

Lula: I was a total looser.

Marilyn: When you’re different in highschool and you don’t fit into a mold you’re quickly put in a category (tn: as in being judged for it).

How does Daphné handle the situation with Basile?

Lula: As a character it allows her to become confident. All of a sudden there’s this guy, that even though he’s stupid and taxing, he’s into her. And he’s interested in her positive traits, that she’s determined, pretty, interesting, intelligent, and it gives her wings, and encourages her to build the foyer, to fight. Basile is really a key in Daphné’s journey.

How do you experience the airings of the clips since you discover the episodes at the same time as everybody?

Maxence: It’s fucking frustrating, even more so since we played in it. It was the first time of my life I’ve been playing in a series and it’s very stressing. The reactions are quick and live and it’s very hard to see yourself on screen, especially for me, to hear myself talking on screen.

A message for all the Eliotts and Lucas?

Maxence: Actually when you came to me I was just reading a letter from someone who was there at the first screening. They were writing that love is a universal right and that everybody should enjoy it, even when you’re in a complex situation, mentally speaking. I don’t like the term psychologycal health because it’s not right to me (tn: not sure what he meant there) but… I’ll just tell you what this boy, Oscar, wrote to me and understood through Skam: that love is a universal right and that everyone should enjoy it, whether you like boys, girls, or you don’t know, or you have a fragile mental health, having to face obstacles everyday because of it. And people feel like it’s closing off avenues for them but it’s not true.

How did your first encounter with Maxence go?

Axel: It was incredible, we clicked, and we were very lucky to meet and live this adventure together because we built trust in each other and we really were friend. It was an adventure we shared.

A message for all the Eliotts and Lucas?

Axel: Be proud because love matters and love will win. We are allowed to love a guy, a girl, we have the right to change, to evolve, and that’s what we need to keep in mind. A story like Lucas and Eliott’s is beautiful. Alt er love, vive l’amour.

[annakie]

It took three and a half months, but I’ve finished my Doctor Who Rewatch.

It’s time to talk about seasons 10, 11, overall wrapup thoughts and some best/worst lists.  Very long post below.

I started doing this back at the end of August as more of a joke when I was going back and cleaning the terrible cringe stuff off the first few months of my blog, then ended up taking that project from when I started the blog in May, 2011 until late 2016.  I realized that I had too much going on IRL right now to revisit my life at the end of 2016 when things took a sharp turn the wrong way, so I haven’t picked that back up again.  I still might at some point.

After the start of the nostalgia tour I:

Cried about Doomsday

Still hated the Manhattan episodes but renewed my love for one of my favorite characters of all time.

Reflected about Martha Jones and being an overly-zealous defender of a fictional character

Cried a lot over meeting and losing River Song in the span of an hour and a half.

Made my way through Season 4 and found myself still mostly loving the show.

Finished Season 4 and was starting to tire of Ten but knew I had more content to get through.

Didn’t post again til I was done with Amy and Rory.  Loved Amy, Rory and River even more, especially Rory.

Watched an episode I remembered I didn’t like just because of the guest actors.  Only marginally helped the episode.

Disliked the second half of season 7 even more than I used to.  Felt meh about Clara.

Warmed to Clara more in seasons 8 and 9.  Still, was ready to see her go.  Loved Twelve, though the first half of season 8 continued to be rough.  Adored the Husbands of River Song for the 6th+ time.

 Took a brief moment to love Bill.

Full disclosure on the rewatch: I skipped most of Fear Her except the first and last few minutes, and actually haven’t gotten back to Waters of Mars or the one 11 Christmas Special with the kids who’s father dies.  I may or may not pick those up in the next week or two.

So tonight I finished rewatching all of Thirteen’s episodes and wanted to talk a bit more about Bill, and then a lot about Thirteen, and some general thoughts about the whole rewatch.

Bill Potts is too good for this world.  I remembered loving her during her season but was blown away on the rewatch with how much I loved her, and almost all of her season.  Her energy, her story, her smile, it’s infectious.  It’s infuriating that so many people didn’t watch Bill because wow she deserved a lot more attention that I feel like she got, and also I feel like the show itself turned a real corner that season.  Season 9, yes, definitely better than 8 and 7.5.  But It’s like Moffat or the writers in general kinda grocked into several important things and made the show more progressive and less cringe?  

There wasn’t an episode I thought was bad, even the more filler episodes like the one in space with the air being a commodity was tense and fun.  I’m not sure I’d skip a single episode.

And then Bill, I think, ends up getting an even shittier deal than Martha in her season.  Left alone for ten years in a shithole mopping up floors, only to be turned into a cyberman and get left extremely traumatized, and sacrifice herself.  A very good story.  A very sad and frustrating ending.  Except that she does get to “transform” and travel the universe with Heather.

Maybe she did eventually go back home and finish living her life from not long after she left in the TARDIS the last time -- it’s entirely possible.  The Memory-Bill in Twice Upon a Time (the Twelve & One crossover) remembered traveling with Heather, which means her memory was taken from some point AFTER.  So maybe she got to be an ethereal being for a long time, and then eventually went home to Earth.  Or maybe she’s still out there traveling the stars with Heather.  Either way, she deserves a good life, and a good ending, even if we never know the true ending.

Twelve -- I love him.  Again, he had a really rough start but Capaldi is an amazing actor and he owned the role. I don’t think it’s actually possible to rank my favorite doctors from the new Who era, they’re all different, all great.  And Missy -- such an amazing villain.  Paired with Simms-Master was so, extremely fun, but even on her own, I think she’s now my favorite incarnation of The Master.  (I’ve only seen a few episodes of Old-Who with Delgado, and I really love Delgado’s Master as well.)  

Nardole was also a fun addition to the season.  I know technically he was considered a full companion and enjoyed him when he was there, but tbh, to me it was all about Bill.

But hey, when Twelve left, it was a good time for him to go -- I really think three seasons is the sweet spot for length of a Doctor.  I was so ready for Thirteen and The Fam.

I remembered loving Thirteen when her episodes were airing and, I was right to.  Jodie Whittaker is so good -- I never doubt for a second that she’s The Doctor.  The show one again feels very different with a new doctor / companions / showrunner.  I honestly loved the lack of Doctor-Angst in the season.  Thirteen is so much more brightness and sunshine and I think it was a good way to swing the Doctor after Twelve.  I also liked that there were a few comments about changing genders, a little bit of frustration from noticing how people treated her differently, but it was neither an earthshattering thing that made EVERYTHING DIFFERENT nor was it a non-event.  I really think they handled it well.

I will say that I think some of the critics were right, that the season itself could have used a bit more of an arc.  Not a heavy arc, like seasons five and six had, but a bit more than Tim Shaw showing up in the first and last episodes of the season.  It looks like next season is going to have that.

The arc that was there though really came from Graham and Ryan’s grief about Grace and their relationship growing.  Honestly, I remember when we learned that one of the new companions was going to be a 60-ish year old dude I wasn’t looking forward to that at all, but honestly, I love Graham.  He’s an actual good guy, he loves deeply, he’s allowed to show his emotions, he handles things WELL.  He’s not perfect but also I felt like they wrote his character so well, he wasn’t an arrogant guy expecting everyone to follow his orders, he cares deeply for Ryan and even had some great scenes with Yaz.  

Ryan and Yaz are both also just so fantastic.  I loved getting to spend time with Yaz’s family both current and past.  I actually learned a little history in the episode that took place in Pakistan (and loved having a benevolent alien storyline there, love that episode so much).  I also loved that they allowed Ryan to show grief and sadness, and vulnerability too.  

I was definitely feeling the 13/Yaz vibes on the rewatch, and although I wouldn’t say I’d be upset if they did end up doing a Ryan/Yaz storyline, I also wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t do any romance storylines at all.  I didn’t miss it this season, and 13/Yaz seemed more likely than anything.

I also loved that they took on racism in a couple of big ways this series.  I felt like the only big swing-and-miss episode was Ker-Blam! where they were so close to really hammering down a good message in the episode and then it felt like Jeff Bezos himself came in and rewrote the last 10 minutes.

TBH there were a couple of episodes that I had COMPLETELY forgotten about, especially the one with Chris North and the big spiders.  Like while I was watching it I had a vague memory of seeing it before, but not up until then.  I’d also forgotten about the New Year’s episode last year with Ryan’s dad.  I only remembered to watch it because after the final episode I was like “Wait, wasn’t Ryan’s dad supposed to be in this season?” and so I went to hunt for the episode.

SO... that’s it.  I was actually a little shocked last night when I finished up the New Year’s episode and realized... I was DONE.  I made it back through eleven seasons and... it was worth it.  

Some final thoughts... and I’m just picking a few things out here off the top of my head, I wasn’t keeping a list all the way through so I’m sure I’m going to think of other things after hitting Post, but here we go.

---------

COMPANION RANKINGS: God Tier: Martha Jones

Faves: Bill Potts, Rory Williams, River Song

I love you so much: Donna Noble, Amy Pond, The Fam (All together!), Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Wilfred Mott

Very very Good: Rose Tyler, Nardole

I Still Like You: Clara Oswald

---------

FAVE SEASON: I mean, it’s still gonna be Martha’s season with an honorable mention of the second half of 4.

If you take Martha Jones out of the equation, it’d probably be either 6 through 7.0, or Bill’s season.

LEAST FAVORITE:  The second half of 7, for sure, and the first half of 8 is kinda rough.  It’d be easy to say season 1, as well, but I don’t think that’s entirely fair, as I think the age of the show really shows there and there was a lot of getting-on-their feet they had to do.  There’s still a lot of good there, you just have to look for it harder.

---------

Favorite Specials: 

The Husbands of River Song, #1 favorite no question

The Day of the Doctor a close second. 

Honorable mention to the Night of The Doctor for the canonical return of Eight.  Seriously, the first time I saw that it may have been the single most joyous moment of New Who for me.

Least Favorite:

I mean, I haven’t rewatched two of them yet since I remember not liking them.  

Also Voyage of the Damned was just even worse than I remembered it.

I Cried The Hardest:

Amy and Rory’s leaving in The Angels Take Manhattan

River’s death in the Library

The end of Doomsday

Danny’s death

The end of Vincent and the Doctor

Prem’s death in Demons of the Punjab, maybe the only single-episode character death that hit me that hard.

Happiest Tears: 

Martha leaves the Doctor

The group in the TARDIS towing Earth home in Journey’s End

Twelve and River get 24 years together

Ryan calls Graham “Grandad”

Jackie and Alt-Pete meet/”reunite”

Heather shows up and... “saves” Bill, they go off on adventures.

Best Twists: 

John Simms Return at the end of season ten.  

YANA is the Master

Oswin is actually a Dalek

Heaven is run by Missy, and the Cybermen. (Damn I really love twists concerning the Master don’t I?)

Bill discovers she IS a Cyberman

Loudest cheers: 

Mickey showing up in Doomsday

Martha laughs at the Master

Rory’s speech at the beginning of A Good Man Goes to War

The Doctor punches a racist who insulted Bill

Best dramatic moments: 

Jack and the Doctor talk about Rose in Utopia

Twelve takes several billion years to punch through a wall

Just This Once, Everybody Lives!

Turn Left

The Doctor says goodbye Idris in The Doctor’s Wife

Missy and the Master’s mutually assured destruction.

Biggest Laughs for a good reason: 

The entire poison scene in the Unicorn and the Wasp

Basically everything about the Doctor attempting to be normal in The Lodger.

Right, putting Hitler in the Cupboard.

Doctor, when I’m on a date, do not put the Pope in my bedroom.

Biggest Cringe: 

Penis-head half-human Dalek

Concrete blowjobs

Anytime a lady slapped/hit a guy not in self-defense

Old goblin Ten / Jesus Ten in Last of the Time Lords

Most of The End of Time part 1

Eleven forces a kiss on Jenny in The Crimson Horror (THAT deserved the slap.)

There’s a lot of things I could point out in season 1 but I’m grading season 1 on a curve.

Favorite non-companion recurring characters: 

Danny Pink

Brian Williams

Jackie Tyler

Worst Villians: 

“Love And Monsters”

“Fear Her” 

The eye-crud sleep monster with Twelve

I kinda wanna say the Daleks are so overdone it’s hard to get excited about them anymore, though I did kinda like what they did in “Resolution” (13′s New Years episode last year.)

OK I honestly don’t know if I want to put “A sentient universe who is in the form of a large frog and just wants a BFF” in best or worst but I feel it belongs SOMEWHERE.

Best Villians:

Missy

Whatever the fuck that thing is in Midnight

House

Got a Raw Deal award:

Adam (Seriously, he was told nothing and did nothing wrong via what he’d been told?!

Donna

Bill (Seriously, TEN YEARS SCRUBBING FLOORS? only to not be saved by 2 hours and then turned into a cyberman and killed again?)

Most Bothersome Lack of Continuity:

The rules for meeting yourself / interfering in the past.

Uh so who was the Not-Danny astronaut in “Listen” anyway?

Most Improved on a Rewatch:

The Fires of Pompeii because... ten and twelve?  It used to be one of my least favorite eps of season 4.

the Daleks in Manahattan episodes I guess just because I liked them more this time though they’re still not great. 

Seeing all of River’s timeline in such a short period of time

Gotta say I enjoyed Planet of the Dead a normal amount when before I used to really dislike it.

Best Premiere of a Doctor:  The Eleventh Hour Roughest Premiere of a Doctor: Deep Breath, since I’m grading season 1 on a curve. Best Exit of a Doctor: Honestly?  I’m gonna give this one to Nine.  He sacrificed himself to save Rose, and he died too soon.  It seemed a fitting end, if too quick.

Roughest Exit of a Doctor: I’m going to go with Eleven here.  It came at the end of what I felt was the worst period of New Who.  The episode itself was... I kind of felt like it was overwraught and didn’t pack quite the same punch as the other three.  Say what you will about the “I Don’t Wanna Go” line with Ten and Twelve needing to be convinced to regenerate at all.  Matt Smith did the best with what he was given, but he wasn’t given much in the entire last run of his episodes after having some of the BEST episodes the previous two and a half seasons.

Best Premiere of a Major Companion: Honestly?  Still gotta go with The Eleventh Hour, for both Amy and Rory and the great way they were both set up and the mysteries of the season.

Worst Premiere of a Major Companion: If you don’t count Asylum of the Daleks (which I thought was great) as Clara’s premiere, then it was definitely Clara’s “The Bells of Saint John”.  No contest.  I don’t think ANY of the rest of them were done poorly, TBH.  I guess I’d have to go with “Rose”, because the Autons themselves are pretty meh and the plastic wasn’t great.

Best (Main) Exit of a Major Companion: This one is more difficult. Doomsday deserves a nod.  Martha Jones walked the world and ended on her own terms.  Journey’s End saw the end of an entire era of companions we loved.  River showed up and died on the same day, but her final appearance is one of my favorite episodes ever.  The Angles Take Manhattan was SO GOOD.  But The Doctor Falls was exciting and tense and tragic.  Hell, even Clara’s final episodes were great.

Honestly, this shouldn’t even be a question.  I can’t choose.  I can’t think of a single one I didn’t love.

Anyway, thanks for reading this, if you got this far!  Know what?  Doctor Who is still a great show, even if it’s not an obsession anymore.  I can see myself doing this rewatch again in a few years, and I’m super looking forward to the next season starting in a couple of weeks!

[theblogchelor]

The Bachelorette Week Eleven aka Eagles, Sweat, and Bling

Here’s What Happened Monday

Well my god. 30 seconds into the episode we’ve already seen dolphins, a Titanic ship pose, a jump hug, Becca’s mom, both men crying, and The Bachelorette casting vast pensive glances in a sequined ballgown. This episode is set to be exactly on par with every other Bachelorette finale.

Garrett Meets the Fam

Garrett is the first to meet Becca’s family: her mom, her sister, her sister’s hair, her Uncle Chuck, and a slew of other people smiling and nodding. Uncle Chuck, sporting his best Maldives tropical shirt, is the first to sweep Garrett to the porch and grill him on his divorce and tragic family medical history. Garrett cries.

Next it’s Becca’s sister, and honestly I’m sure she says something but I got lost looking at her hair and started contemplating the infinite expanse of the universe and blacked out a little. Garrett cries again.

Blake Meets the Fam

Blake – who, reminder, is so much at all times – tells Becca’s sister about his love of strong, independent women. Sis tells Becca that Blake would be a balanced, intellectually-challenging equal but that Garrett would make a fun dumb dad, so the jury’s out. Becca cries.

Mom asks Blake, “so what happens when Becca dumps you, you good?” and, yes, Blake cries. Then he thinks about Garrett, and about Becca, and about her sister’s goddamn hair, and he has a complete mental meltdown.

Garrett’s Final Date

Garrett and Becca charter a sailboat out on the great sea to have deep, emotional talks about their future but then Garrett sees a dolphin and distracted for the next two hours. As he and Becca jump into the water, we hear his voice in the background tell us “maybe it’s the girl, maybe it’s the equator, but I’ve never been this high” revealing that our boy has no idea what the equator is or does.

Garrett recognizes that tonight is his last chance to do words for Becca, which is not his strong suit. But then this, his pièce de résistance: “You don’t give me butterflies because they’re small, you give me eagles.”

Blake’s Final Date

Blake and Becca ride bikes and sit on the beach and make out in the rain at sunset and talk about their futures – it’s such a day I could just barf. Later he gives her a time capsule with photos from Instagram which he hasn’t been allowed to see during filming so, basically, he gives Becca a time capsule that one of the producers made for him.

Blake informs us that he is confident that Becca loves him back because of the way she breathes after he’s had his tongue down her throat for the last five minutes.

Game Time

Becca must wander around her hotel crying and deliberating. The boys must visit the breathing wax figurine that is Neil Lane and pick out engagement rings. Neil doesn’t bring any Ring Pops which makes Garrett sad so he buys a diamond. The boys don their suits, they pack up their rings, they get on a boat, aaaaand…

Blake is the first one out, which means the poison dart has hit him but he doesn’t know it yet. He tells Becca everything but the “will you…?” before she cuts him off. And then the sweat begins. My god, he just oozes sweat, from every pore on his face. Is he crying too? We can’t tell, because the sweat. It’s overwhelming. Bye Blake.

So… Garrett

It’s Garrett, the sugar high puppy of a man who has a penchant for poetic turns of phrases and a healthy appetite for alt-right memes. He’ll make an adorable dad who will stick a gun in his kid’s hand before it’s even remotely safe to do so and will likely cut off a toe in a lawnmower accident or some shit. That’s our boy. Great work, Bec.

The end. See you in Paradise.

[ettadunham]

Day 17 - 6b

We’re already at day 17 of Fringe September!!

This is one of those classic sympathetic Fringe cases that directly correlates to the show’s core messages and protagonist’s actions about love and all that jazz.

After all, we’re literally talking about an old couple whose love is about to break the universe!!! It’s just like when Walter broke everything by saving Peter, rip.

It might actually be one of my favorite cases for Phyllis Somerville’s performance alone. There’s a sort of lightness and humor to Alice that makes her feel such a real character, and her grief that much more painful. I cried, I cried a lot during this one, and it was all because of her.

It was also just a pretty cool premise. The story about how their fate, the fact which one of the couple died depended on a coin toss, was a perfect device to bring in the alternate universe scenario. And the remaining member of the couple naturally got drawn to each other through their loss, causing the whole phenomenon in the first place.

But ultimately, they weren’t each others ‘other half’. There were differences between their lives beyond who lived and who died, and that’s what helped our widow to finally let go, closing the rift between the universes. Which... I guess is where we get our connection to Peter and Olivia.

Although interestingly the episode doesn’t really point that out for us - that Peter had to have let go of Alt!Liv at this point, because she wasn’t the Olivia that he fell in love with. The episode instead deals with how Olivia herself doesn’t seem to be able to let go of it which... I actually have some mixed feelings about.

The part of the story where Olivia has a hard time moving on from all this, and feeling like that that’s her character flaw - not being able to trust, to open up... That’s solid character stuff. It’s in line with what we know about Olivia, and it’s nice to see her trying to grow, because she recognizes that that’s what she WANTS. Olivia wants to be happy, and so at the end of the day, she decides to let go, to take that leap with Peter after all for her own sake.

What bothered me however is how the show used Peter telling her that she should let it go to finally push her to that decision, instead of letting her take her time, and opening up about her fears on her own.

I understand that Peter doesn’t necessarily deserve blame for what happened - he didn’t knowingly cheat on Olivia. But Olivia still got hurt, and she should’ve been allowed to deal with that hurt in her own way and make her own decision, without being badgered and borderline guilt-tripped by Peter into giving them another chance.

And again, it IS what Olivia wanted, and she’s aware that her fears and insecurities are stopping her from trying to be happy, but I wasn’t 100% on board with the way they went around solving it in this episode.

But enough on that, because there’s also a third angle to this episode - Walter. You see, faced with the very real possibility of having a full blown hole in our universe, our team is forced to consider the solution that has been used on the other side - amber. And it would be a drastic measure, one that would change our world as we know it. It would force authorities to disclose the whole universe situation to the public, and it would mark the start of the same sort of decay that they’ve been experiencing on the other side for many years.

And so Walter is conflicted. Because on the other side he thought that Walternate’s amber protocols were way too brutal, but now he’s about to do the same. And he’s afraid of what this would mean for the future, of all the upcoming rifts and holes that would appear after that.

Literally no one’s surprised that I find 6b a great episode, I love every episode of this show, probably. ;)

The amber device lights up in the GREEN-GREEN-GREEN-RED pattern, a recurring Fringe staple after Equation.

We get a glimpse into the other side at the end of the episode, as Altlivia and Lincoln answer the call on their side of the rift, but by the time they get there, it’s been closed. It’s a cute little scene between them nonetheless. (”Did you check the batteries?”)

Obviously this is the episode where Olivia and Peter get together at last, and their first actual kiss since 2x23.

After their first kiss in this episode, Olivia says that Peter glimmered, aka she’s scared. It’s however unclear if she sees Peter glimmer after her second kiss as well - it seems like she has a similar reaction, but in that case she pushes through it.

The aftermath of the kiss in the bar is also a bit reminiscent of their almost kiss in Jacksonville. After both, Olivia was able to see the place they were looking for where the universes bled through - a building in Jacksonville, and a specific room here, albeit in the former’s case it wasn’t the (almost) kiss itself that brought forward her fears.

[2fiskekaker]

Why Skam means a lot to me

Skam is over. It has been a journey, an adventure. This is one of the most ambivalent feelings I have experienced in my years on this planet. I’m so thankful for everything. I’m so thankful that I discovered Skam 10 months ago and got to experience all these things. However, I’m also incredibly sad and it leaves a terrible void in my heart knowing that the last clip ever now has been released. 

It sounds weird but the release of season 3 is already an incredibly nostalgic feeling to me. Back then what feels like a hundred years ago, I didn’t know what this series would do to me, would mean to me. For the course of season 3, I dedicated my life to the show. All week I would spend an unhealthy amount of time doing Skam related stuff on the internet. By the end of the week, I would re-watch the clips in the full episode in an almost religious way. I would turn off my phone, dim all lights except a couple of candles and then watch the episode on the big screen with all my focus. 

Because of this I almost got annoyed by how my friends watched the show. They would watch an episode in the middle of being on their phone, while eating, doing other stuff, or right before going to work etc. This was so far from how I watched the show myself. I needed several hours afterwards to process and discuss the episode online. I think that this is related to how I felt (feel) deeply connected to Isak. I felt like I was Isak and that I could acquaint with his problems on a deeper level. So when my friends watched the show in a more superficial and entertaining manner (which is probably perfectly normal) I would get annoyed because I felt like it was my life and my problems. And by that, it felt like they didn’t care about my life or my problems, which probably isn’t true. I felt like everything was directed at me. I took it personally. 

Days went by with endless updates of the website hoping for an update. I used hours discussing and reading discussions in the Danish fan group “Kosegruppa DK”. I read analyses, theories, recaps, articles. I watched the news in Norwegian, I watched other tv shows from Norway. The real-time aspect made it real for me. I had to live Isak’s life as well as my own. I have felt hopeless, happy, relieved, hurt, angry, sad, in love. I had never been this paralysed by a tv-show before. A tv-show which paused my real life. Some people would probably suggest that I needed help when I say that nothing, nothing in my own life was more important to me than Skam was in the autumn of 2016. I spent time learning Norwegian, despite it being mutually intelligible with Danish, my native language. I listened to Norwegian radio, to train my understanding of spoken Norwegian. I read random news articles out loud to train speaking Norwegian. I borrowed a 600-page book about Norway and Denmark’s common past in history. I even looked up how to move to Norway and the requirements to obtain citizenship for citizens from the other Scandinavian countries. 

That is, I have been planning and living a life that wasn’t my own. Skam has made me realise a lot of things and has made me learn a lot about other people. I don’t think that any tv-show ever will be able to make me philosophise and think about my own life, and what is wrong about it, in the same way Skam has. This is, of course, being emphasised when I see the characters’ relationships. I know that I never will experience that type of love you do when you are a teenager. Time has simply gone by. I know that I won’t experience the freedom and unity of living with my friends in a commune. Both because of being too old, but also because I’m not even entirely sure that I have any friends that would want to do it with me. I know that I won’t experience having been growing up in a capital city with everything that comes with it. And lastly, I know that I won’t ever get a life where school is just a side-issue and the friends, drama, parties, and problems are the main focus. These are things that remind me of how my own life is and why I would rather have another, why I want to escape sometimes.

Of course, it’s not healthy to live in a parallel universe but Skam has relieved some of the pain of living, in a way that no other thing ever has, whatsoever. And when you get updates every single day during the season, then it’s just even easier to live through someone else. I feel like I probably wasn’t suitable to watch Skam in real-time, especially in season three, because of the fact that I invested myself so deeply. I adopted the show and integrated it in my own life in a way that made me mentally exhausted. The thing is that Skam’s realtime concept mimics the same brain functions that are responsible for the development of mental disorders such as anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression occurs when the individual speculates for several hours each day for months. It’s not the negative thoughts themselves that create depression. It’s all the hours of handling and speculating about them that does. And this is exactly what the realtime experience of Skam recreated. Each day you spend hours thinking about the characters, discussing them online, reading about them, thinking about them etc. I spent at least 6 hours a day thinking about Skam which evidently made my mood drop, because all that thinking made me hate my own life.

But now it’s over. And as much as I adore all of the seasons, I will particularly miss Isak. I’m already tearing up just by the thought of having to let you go. When I realise you aren’t even real it causes me to shed actual tears. You feel so real and the boundaries of what is real and what is not have partially been erased. I believed every word you spoke, every face expressed, every feeling felt. I have laughed at every joke cracked and cried whenever things were too much. I feel like I’m saying goodbye to something important, something with great meaning, something real. It has been one hell of a ride and I’m beyond thankful for getting to follow you on this amazing journey. You have gone from a young insecure boy with incipient feelings that you didn’t know how to express and a difficult situation at home that you didn’t know how to handle, to a strong, clever, and brave young man that is capable of facing challenges as well as loving and be loved. You went from backstabbing your friends out of desperation and despair to someone who is there and stands up for their friends. We have had the delicate honour of following you through some of the most important moments of your life. The moments where you realised who you are. When you dared to be you and dared to be loved. When Even saved you and you saved him back. And all of this has been the most beautiful story ever told. Season three provoked feelings that I never thought I was capable of feeling from a TV show. It was a magical period of time now stored safely in the lands of nostalgia. You have meant more to me than most actual human beings in the real world do. I’m certain that there are next to no other fictional 18-year-old boys who has meant this much to the world. You will always have a special place in my heart and live on there for many years to come. I will love you. As a little brother. As a good friend. As someone I used to be. As who I am. Thank you Isak, you are absolutely beautiful. And thank you Julie Andem for creating an alternative and better world. Thank you for creating a world that I have been able to live in for the past 10 months and escape to when the real world became a little too much. The autumn of 2016 will forever be nostalgic and a sad yet happy memory of something incredible. 

The endings of season 3 and 4 respectively are masterpieces. For some reason, I didn’t have the highest expectations to the ending of season three, but the final week was beautiful and beyond satisfying. Isak and Even were together and were pretty public about it already back then. Sonja and Emma had accepted how things were. As this was before season four I also took note of the fact that Sana gave Isak a Christmas present. This was such a good parallel to the first couple of episodes in season three and showed what kind of friendship they had developed and symbolically the friendship between religions. Magnus and Vilde hooked up which we had been rooting for and provided some nice comic relief. If you think back, the whole of season three was unique in how little all of the other characters were involved. For the same reason, it was such a weird yet welcome feeling to finally see the girl group united again. This also applies to the end. The conversation between Isak and Eva. This might be one of my favourite things. I personally had hoped for just this to happen and when I saw Eva sit down next to Isak I screamed. Remember how we hadn’t seen Eva for so long at that time. This scene just made a complete circle of Isak and Eva’s friendship to me and was so important and beautiful. It completed Isak’s transformation. That’s why I was glad that Eva got to accompany Isak in finishing his season, even though many argued that it should be Even. But the vulnerable and beautiful parallel to season one was just too important. And last but now least we got the words “Alt er love” that reminded us how Isak and Even got each other in the end. When you look back this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but we have to remember how many of us were dissolved from the angst and we needed this as a reassurance that everything was going to be okay. This is why I love the ending of season three. It is happy, but not excessively happy in the Hollywood way. No loose ends. 

The ending of season four is for what it is, brilliantly solved by Julie Andem. I’m incredibly thankful for getting all these tiny little clips from all the other characters. It is, of course, bittersweet because we all wanted to see most of them in their own seasons. But sometimes you just have to stop while the going is good. I was devastated when I watched Vilde’s clip. The things she has to do with the finances, the medicine and so on is beyond what anyone should have to do while growing up and it tears my heart out. Not least when I think about what a beautiful season this could have become. Chris(tina)’s clip also surprised me. The comic relief was to be expected however this also showed us another side of her. The serious side of not feeling good enough around your friends, but also pressure around money. If we fast forward to the very final clip, I immediately started crying when Chris reached out to Vilde which I didn’t expect. Back to the week, I loved Even’s clip as well for obvious reasons. His story could be told so beautifully. We finally got to see that “everything isn’t always love” in the form of slurs which I think is important. “Kjære Sana”. This clip was just the essence of Skam. I think it was evident that nobody had the point of view, which really emphasised that the ending was near. My emotions already messed with my tear ducts when I saw the Oslo cinematography and the beautiful soundtrack. I love that Julie Andem included meta comments about Even working at kaffebrenneriet, she included stuff from a fan fiction, she included comments from different fan groups. William was smiling, Isak and Even were cute and looked like husbands, Sana looked gorgeous, there was soundtrack from season one, Eva and Jonas might end up together and the clip was released at the IRL time of sunset in Oslo. The fact that Jonas ended Skam, just pleases my brain in all ways imaginable. The circle is ultimately completed. He began Skam with a speech and ended it with one as well. As he spoke we switched to see a screen being filmed. We switched to our point of view. It was just so beautiful and his voice is perfect for emphasising the main points about how everything is not always what it seems. People and things change. Sometimes you have to feel what is right for you. People fight battles you know nothing about. Life is now. But what is most important is love.