#I cried a few times writing it but… writing is therapeutic for me

[winchesterwild78]

Broken pt 1

Master List

Characters: Jensen x Reader (wife)

Warnings: Angst, Infertility issues, Language

A/N:  Idea given to me by @cheekygirl2309. This one is a little different than what I usually write. It has angst, lots of angst to start, and infertility issues. It's going to be a short series.

Minors DNI 18+

I stood at the sink in our shared bathroom waiting and staring at the test on the counter. Another month has come and gone, another month of trying to conceive. The timer went off and with shaky hands I looked at the test, negative. My heart broke. 

Jensen and I had been trying for months to get pregnant and nothing we did was working. Frustration was beginning to take over and overshadow the possibility of being a parent. 

Jensen sat on our bed, phone in hand and leg bouncing. I walked out of the bathroom and he looked up at me, “Well?” I shook my head no. He let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hands through his hair and down his face. 

“Jens, I’m.” He lifted his hand and cut me off. I felt a pang of sadness fill my chest and a lump form in my throat. 

“Just don’t, please. Don’t say how sorry you are. It’s not your fucking fault. Maybe we should just stop trying.” Tears pricked my eyes at the harshness of his words.

“You don’t mean that, Jensen. Please, we can keep trying, we can go to the doctor and see what’s going on. Please, don’t give up on this.” 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m leaving for Toronto in a few days.” I spun my head and looked at him, “What?! I thought you were home for a while.” 

“Well I guess not. We were called back for reshoots.” 

“Damnit, Jensen! This is why I can’t get pregnant. You’re never fucking home. Between filming and your convention schedule you’re not home long enough.” 

“Y/N, don’t start! I have obligations to the people I work for and with, and to my fans. You knew what you signed up for when we got married.” 

“I didn’t sign up to be alone all the time, and obligations!? What about your obligations to me, to us, our marriage? Does that mean so little to you?” 

“Fuck! I’m not going to spend the next few days arguing with you.” Jensen growled and grabbed his suitcase. 

I stood in disbelief. The tears that pricked my eyes were now falling, and my chest felt like it had a massive hole in it. 

I stood watching him pack and load up his suitcase without saying a word. As he passed by me he looked at me briefly but then looked away. No words were spoken. 

Jensen carried his suitcase downstairs while he was on the phone. He was booking a plane to leave tonight. An audible sob left my lips. 

“Jensen, are you really leaving tonight?” Without looking up he said, “Yes.” 

“Jens, please don’t do this. Please stay here. We need to figure this out.” 

Jensen’s phone went off. He looked at it and stood up, grabbing his suitcase, “I have to go. Goodbye, Y/N.” I swallowed hard. I usually drive him to the airport.

Before I could respond he was out the door, no hug, no kiss goodbye. I let out a loud sob and collapsed to the floor. He left. 

My world spiraled around me. The harsh words we spoke to each other replayed in my head. Did he really just walk out, did I lose him?

Jensen’s POV

I climbed in the Uber and headed towards the airport. My harsh words replayed in my head. The hurt on her face with another negative test and again when I left. The Uber driver was nice, making small talk, and I tried to be polite. 

My world was crumbling and I plastered a smile on my face and ran away from the problem. I’m a fucking coward. We wanted a baby, and I can’t even give her that. 

She’s right, I leave her alone too much. How can I expect to get her pregnant when I’m only home for a week at most. 

Reader’s POV

I cried, harder than I had in awhile. It felt almost therapeutic. I stood up, locked the door and crawled into bed. I grabbed Jensen’s pillow. The faint smell of his shampoo and cologne lingered on the pillow. 

I missed him so much it hurt. Was this argument the one that broke us? Will we be able to fix this and move forward?

I looked at my phone, hoping for a text, but I had nothing. He left. Left without hugging me or kissing me. He left early so he didn’t have to deal with this argument. He was done. Done with me, with trying for a baby, done with our marriage. 

I decided to send him a text. I had to lay it out there for him so he knew exactly where I stood. 

Me: I don’t know if you’ll read this, or if you even care, but I had to send this so you knew what I was feeling and where I stand. Jensen, I love you. I’ve always loved you and I always will. If you don’t want me, us anymore I get it. I just want to know. You left me tonight. No kiss, no hug. Just a cold shoulder and not so much as a goodbye. I deserve better than that. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. I don’t know why I’m not, but I was willing to keep trying. I know every time the test comes back negative it hurts, but this hurts worse. 

Jensen, we made a commitment to each other and I still believe in it. I’m okay with putting trying to have a baby on hold, but I’m not okay with putting us on hold. I hope you have a safe flight, and I truly hope you still believe in us enough to fight for us. I know I do. Please call me or message me back. I love you, Jens, today, tomorrow, forever. 

I sat my phone down and curled in a ball. Sleep slowly washing over me. 

Jensen’s POV

I sat in the back of the SUV taking me to the apartment I had rented for filming. Shit, I forgot to turn my phone back on. 

As soon as I turned it on a message came through from Y/N. Arriving at the apartment I grabbed my bags and walked into my place. 

Pulling out my phone I read the texts. Tears pricked my eyes. I let out a frustrated sigh, and ran my hands down my face. 

I fucked up big time. This was one of the first tests in our marriage and I ran like a coward. No wonder she thinks I want out of our marriage. 

I looked at the time and realized it was really late. She was probably asleep but I didn’t want to just text her. I took a deep breath and called her.

“Hello” she answered groggily. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I got your text.” 

“Jens, oh. I’m so glad you’re okay. Baby I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t easy on you. You were right, I did, do know what I signed up for with your schedule and your job. I let my frustration get the better of me.”

“No, I’m sorry, Y/N. I left you alone in this, and ran like a coward. You have every right to feel the way you do. Hell, I feel lonely too, and I’m surrounded by people. I can’t imagine how you feel. Baby I don’t want to stop trying for a baby. I love you so much and I still want us and a baby. I am so sorry I spoke to you the way I did and left you instead of working through this. Say the word and I’ll fly back home tonight. I don’t care about the shoot, you’re more important to me. Our marriage is more important than the shoot.” 

“Jensen, I don’t want you to fly home. You have to stay and go to work. How about I fly to you in the next day or two? I’ll take some time off work and come to Toronto.”

“That would be amazing, sweetheart. I can book the ticket and let you know. Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. I wish I could hold you right now.”

“Jens, I do too. I’m sorry too. Promise me we won’t do this again. If we get into an argument or have any disagreement we will talk it out. Stay and talk it out.” 

“I swear, Y/N. I’ll never run off again. I love you too much to throw this away.” 

“Good, because you’re stuck with me Ackles.” He chuckled, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I yawned and so did he. “Jens, I hate to cut this short, but I’m really tired. Thank you for calling me baby. That means so much to me. I love you, baby.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll let you get some sleep. I love you, darlin’. Good night, Y/N.” “I love you too, Jens, good night.” 

We hung up and I placed my phone on the bedside table. I smiled, pulled Jensen’s pillow to me and fell asleep. Feeling a bit better. 

I fell asleep, my heart lighter than it was before, knowing we were both willing to fight to save our marriage. 

My last thought before I fell asleep was, Now that Jensen and I have made the commitment to always keep communication open, what else could go wrong?

Tags are open, if you want to be added or removed, let me know.  

Tags: 

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 

@k-slla @jackles010378 

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 

@roseblue373 @cheynovak 

@jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa 

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove

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@deans-baby-momma @deansimpalababy

@ladykitana90 @quietgirll75 

@superrey @kamisobsessed

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@depressionbarbie2023 @livingdeadblondequeen

@mandee7 @barnes70stark

@spnaquakindgdom

[corpsebunny1]

Continuing my Lux x Self insert story. I won’t lie, writing this one felt really therapeutic since it’s focusing on a past issue of mine.

Thank you all who have been reading and stuff.

Time passes, at least for the most part. Lux showed June Bug the ins and outs of the projector room and watched as she tried to work his ladies of light, much to his entertainment, June Bug wasn’t as good as she thought. Thankfully when you’re both a toon and a god, he happily fixed things for her.

Time passed since then, at least a few weeks. Sunlight was shining into the small apartment behind the theater, the sound of the alarm going off, both making it to where Lux was waking up and giving a groan as he stretched out.

“Morning June Bug.” He yawned and scratched his sides.

He looked down, still seeing June Bug sleeping as his arm stretched out to turn off her alarm. He smiled at her, watching as she rolled over and hid her face into his body.

“Five more minutes…..” she groaned. “I was finally asleep.”

Lux looked as she rolled over and buried herself. He patted at her back and climbed out of the shared bed walking over to the kitchen area of the apartment and started to make the morning coffee.

“Another bad dream?” He said turning on the pot and not looking back. “What was it this time?”

There was a silence, Lux waited a bit before turning around and heard the bedsheets shift and the bed squeak as he turned looking to see June Bug starting to sit up, her hair all a mess, her eyes looking tired, and slightly wet, like she been crying. Seeing the tear stained cheeks Lux moved over and knelt beside the bed.

“June Bug?” He looked at her.

“Am I good enough?” She whispered.

“What?”

“Am I good enough?” She repeated and slowly clenched her fists.

“Where is all this coming from Bug?” Lux asked as he sat beside her. “Good enough? You’re wonderful! A beam of light that makes everything better!” He smiled standing up and hugging her head. “You’re as pretty as a June Bug in summer my sweetie pie.”

“Then why am I so stupid?” She cried.

“June Bug?” He let go and looked at her with more concern. “Talk to me, breathe June Bug breath.”

A few moments passed as she cried, trying her best to calm down. Lux watched as her hand started to scratch at her opposite arm and carefully he took hold of her hand and rubbed at where she had been scratching. Taking in a deep breath, June Bug turned to the cartoon god and looked at him with tired eyes.

“My job is stressing me out.” She said weakly. “My boss talked down to me again in front of patients and I just, felt like I….”

“That job puts a lot on you.” Lux stopped her and watched as she nodded. “Why don’t you quit?”

“Quit?” She looked at him and watched as the toon sat beside her again and took her hands. “Lux….i just….its not that simple.”

“Sure it is, walk in there and tell them you quit.” He smiled. “You see the city chambers in a few days to talk about renovating the theater. That’s more important my Bug.” He smiled more placing his hand to her cheek. “And I want you to be happy.” He kissed her lips softly.

“Lux…..” she gulped.

Before the two could speak up more the sounds of breakfast finishing, at least the coffee part, started to fill the room. Lux smiled as he literally jumped out of the bed to get things ready and June Bug looked at him and touched her lips.

‘Did that just happen….’ She thought. ‘Did he really just…’

“June Bug I have your coffee ready, oatmilk no sugar, unless you need a big smooch!.” He smiled singing to her.

A blush was filling her cheeks watching Lux set the table. Quickly June Bug gathered her thoughts and dried her eyes from her crying, and softly smiled as the toon put together everything in an almost comical fashion. He smiled offering her a cup, and she kissed the top of his head like normal.

“Thank you Lux.” She said softly. “I’ll try to not cry like that again.”

“It’s okay June Bug.” He smiled and held her hand. “From what I’ve come to understand it’s good for humans to cry.”

“Yeah but not over these things.” She squeezed his hand.

“Especially over these things.” He squeezed back. “I mean it. Quit that job and focus on hear. Your grandfather would want you to be happy.”

“But….” She looked at him, gulping at the thought. “How am I suppose to support myself if I quit. I don’t even know if….”

“We’ll figure it out.” He assured her. “We’ll figure it out. Right now focus on what’s important.” He smiled. “That being me and this lovely breakfast I have made.”

Lux laughed as he sat down at the table. He had yet to let go of June Bugs hand as he ate, and she smiled a little at this, holding on as she ate and her mind drifting off in thoughts.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

I talk about Virgil a lot so here are some random (some AU specific, some not, NOT ALL IN THE SAME AU) headcanons I have for Remus with mediocre elaboration:

— low empathy autistic. Has to be taught some empathy. I don't mean he's a danger, I just mean it doesn't initially occur to him that something might hurt someone emotionally. Also this usually comes with more of an explanation but I ✨don't remember the entire explanation✨

— he/they/it/various neos. I just think they'd vibe with it. I don't think he'd totally rock with she/her but y'all know headcanons are individual and I very much love seeing she/her and transfem Remus too <33

— tics. Sometimes they're worse than other times. Usually in a human au. Not with any specific disorder in mind when thought of

— this one is less mine and more my one friend's but Imma include it anyway: they wrote about him in one AU having a schizophrenia disorder. I don't remember the specifics but some of it was Remus seeing and hearing people/things that aren't there, which caused him and a lot of other people distress, and it furthered their "this is why people look at him odd but really he's not odd" agenda. He thought he was broken. Nope turns out his brain's just a bit different. Cue "ohhhhhh"

— y'know 80s/90s punk aesthetic? Yeah. Also thrifts like a bitch like they're out there all the time.

— walking calculator and can do a truly abhorrent level of math in his head. But cannot for the life of them do English. Like what the fuck is a semi colon. Ain't that the thing in your body?

— marine biologist or a mortician for his job I CANNOT decide.

— has horror movies as comfort movies <3 like "okay I'm sleeping now hmmm I'll put on the original Halloween" and then dozes off to it

— has facial hair other than the mustache. Removes the facial hair other than the mustache

— truly the most monstrous mullet you have ever seen except it's somehow hot. Like against all odds it's hot on it.

— writes down its worst intrusive thoughts in a notebook and when the notebook is full, burns it. That way it's an almost symbolic way of "FUCK these ideas"

— cusses just so goddamn much

— in some few AUs (I have to specify); smoker. Started as a teenage rebellion habit and now it's kicking their ass.

— tooth gap. I fucking love tooth gap.

— the grey streak isn't dye actually it's a birth mark. Roman has a similar one but he dyes it (neither brother is bothered by this)

— has fake blood splattered on several pairs of shoes just because it can and they think it looks cool

— reaaaaaally tries to pretend they don't care about Roman (highschool specific au) but also shows up for all of his theater shows and is always giving a standing ovation every time and has cried at a few performances (but definitely not no because they're too cool 😎.. *sobs*)

I feel like this is too many but ya get my vibes for him? :D I hope. I love them. They're so cool. It's just. AAAA

— 👑

Dude I fucking L O V E all of these S O fucking much oml!!! These really match Ree's vibes and them being a walking calculator is S O fucking underrated (Also “What the fuck is a semi colon ain't that the thing in your body?” is so R E A L XD) I really dig the notebook burning thing I think it would really help get it's thoughts out and he can find it therapeutic because F I R E <3 Also the highschool one has me cackling just

Remus: I could give less of a shit about Ro

Remus: *goes to all of his shows*

Remus: *sobbing and clapping* That's my fuckin' twin y'all!

True Punk behavior XD

[spellcasterlight]

what do you do when you feel really sad?

Hi there Loveable Lion Anon! 🦁

First of all, I get the feeling you maybe sent this ask because you're feeling sad yourself? If so, I'm so sorry to hear that 😔

For your question, what do I do when I'm sad? Gonna put this under the cut so people can scroll by!

Warnings: Crying. Brief Mentions of Dying.

Firstly, Anon, this is just what I do and probably won't work for others. Sadness is hard to deal with and so personal. One person's coping methods are not a script for someone else. I can only reply with what I do!

Now usually I will be the first to admit I'm quite a cheery person so when I am sad it usually tends to hit me like a train.

I deffo have my cry. I've never been a yeller or a social media ranter or anything like that, but I do cry. I don't know if it's the air quotes best thing to do, and I would never tell anyone to do this, but I do. I have a sit down somewhere private (usually my bedroom) and just have a little therapeutic cry to compact and release the overwhelming feelings that come with something seriously bad happening.

But after that, when I'm on the comedown of releasing all that sad energy, I always think, "Is this a heart-stopping moment?" and the answer is always no.

I won't go into details. They aren't pleasant, and no one wants to read them. Still, basically, just over ten years ago, I had a "this is it, this is how I die" moment and not in a sarcastic going to die of embarrassment or someone exaggerating a hangover, but what I thought was the real deal.

So, whenever my logical thinking starts to kick back in after that first burst of crying, I travel back to that point, to my very lowest, to the point where I thought my mother was going to come in and find me dead, propped up in bed by pillows like a lifeless doll because my body had simply given up, nothing but a shell and, part of me knows it's a horrible thing to say, but, it puts whatever made me sad into perspective.

Even when my tears are still flowing, I can accept the realization that I'm okay, I'm still alive, and I will still be alive after it. I can handle whatever felt so overwhelming ten minutes ago.

(That might all sound a bit dramatic to someone just reading it, but yeah, that's what happens.)

The world isn't ending, so what do I do now?

I always want to do something about it. For example, a few months ago, I panicked that I was wasting my life, that I was achieving nothing, and that there was so much I wanted to do, but I was a complete failure because I wasn't doing any of it.

I cried, had my moment of clarity then googled around for some ideas on how to tackle. I now make a monthly calendar of all the stuff I want to dabble in (writing, digital drawing, hand drawing, reading, more exercise, my course etc) and I have it so every evening I will do one of those things. Sure, I won't be the next Picasso or Einstein or anything, but I'm doing something. Being both productive and getting a little joy in creating at the same time.

I also try to put a little goodness back into the world even if I'm really not feeling very happy at that moment.

I'll send a message into the girlie chat telling them how wonderful they all are. I'll tell my friends who are parents how adorable their children are. I'll leave a big tip the next time I go out to eat or if I see a cool musician playing on the street. I'll send some Tumblr asks just telling people they're awesome. I'll speed up my walking so I can hold a door open for someone struggling with a pram or a walker. Buy my parents some flowers or my boyfriend some ice cream. That kind of thing.

Because the only thing that would make me feel worse is if my crappy mood brought down someone else. Seeing other people happy helps make me feel better as well, you know?

It's also good to plan something, even a little something, to look forward to. A holiday, a meetup with friends, a day at the beach, an afternoon with nothing to do but sit in a coffee shop, even a lie-in—whatever makes you make a note in your calendar and think, "Can't wait!"

I honestly don't know if this is helpful or not 😂 Maybe some others would like to be brave and share what they do as well?

If I'm right, and you did send this because you're feeling sad, I hope things turn around, and you feel better soon!

Sending all the good vibes your way! ✨

[mermaidsirennikita]

Ok, so maybe this question is too broad. But what are your hands down favorite sex scenes in contemporaries? Just the scenes you return to again and again?

Sex scene questions are NEVER too broad. The depiction of sex in media is one of my favorite things to talk about, for srs or for "YOU GOTTA SEE/READ THIS" purposes.

Soooo lol I left a few Sierra Simone books off the "angstiest contemporaries" list because while they are not paranormal or whatever, sometimes her New Camelot-verse books feel too... intense? But whatever they're contemporary and these books have some of my favorite sex scenes ever so YA GETTING THEM.

(Among, as it turns out, many other scenes from many other books.)

New Camelot:

American Queen--Embry deflowering Greer which has a) surprise virgin b) possessive dark Embry content, which is some of my FAVORITE content in that series; the whole "talking to my groom on the phone while riding the best man's face and listening to him jack off and we're actually all kinda sad about it" scene--Ash giving Embry to Greer as a wedding present is SOOOO FUCKED but SOOOOO GOOD; the wedding night scene with the first threesome hell fucking yeah

American Prince--Ash and Embry's first time in the flashback with all the blood and the "you look beautiful in the moonlight"-ing; Embry and Greer's hardcore CNC scene where it begins as like, therapeutic playacting and evolves into it being THEM and one of the central conflicts of the series (Embry and Greer love Ash but are both so devoted to Ash that they also, especially Embry, resent his presence because they need their own space together) and then at the end he sees her in the full light and like gasps in horror because she's covered in bite marks and bruises and she's like :D about it because Greer is a freak; the "blindfold you with a Mt. Rushmore tie and blow you to express my eterrrrnal gratitude scene; the "let's make Greer feel better" kinda fucked up green apple scent threesome; the "Ash is very sads because his first wife died so he shows up in the rain and fucks the shit out of Embry to cope" flashback; Greer thinking that Embry Cheated On The Polycule and being like "WELCOME HOME CHEATER" and asking him if Abilene's pussy is as sweet as hers before he's like "THERE'S NOBODY SWEETER" and drops to his knees to eat her out while she's standing.

He's my faaavorite.

American King: OBVIOUSLY, the "it's a very sad occasion and The Polycule Measure Is Being Threatened So We're Gonna Have A Threesome For Three Chapters" scene, AMAZING, shoutout for Embry being balls deep in Greer and before Ash can put it in being all "I THINK WE SHOULD DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP AND ITS BOUNDARIES" and Ash being like "are you fucking kidding me" before just forging ahead, one of the funniest things I've Ever read; the Greer/Embry reunion sex where he comes inside her super quick and is like "WHOOPS SORRY" and eats her out immediately after; the "Embry Lost So He Gets Mild CBT" scenes which fr is one of the filthiest things I've EVER READ; the "Ash Lost So He Gets Face Fucked" scene, largely because of "the might Maxen Colchester has a gag reflex" ugh kill me; the "Embry fucks Ash with a dildo in the sex club" flashback; Ash and Embry's Last First, CRYING TEARS.

Writing all that out (and look dude, when I say I reread those scenes a lot, I AM SERIOUS) I realize there isn't a single solo Ash/Greer scene, and it's not that I don't love them, but they have the least FRAUGHT sex scenes so it's less memorable. Like, my favorite Ash/Greer sex scene is in American Queen after he finds out Embry had sex with her first and he's super jealous of both of them (and she doesn't... fully realize that yet) and fucks her being like "AND DID HE DO THIS??? AND THIS?????". It's great love that content.

Salt in the Wound: the scene where Mark takes Isolde's virginity with fingers on and is like "LOOK AT YOU DOING SO GOOD" while she cries and fully realizes that she is a true masochist, 'twas very hot

Salt Kiss: obviously, the entire "deflowering of Tristan" saga lmao, but ESPECIALLY when Mark is like "Tristan I've fucked you like twice in the last hour I'm not gonna fuck you again" and Tristan goes ":(" only for that sentence to end with ".... so instead you get to eat my ass while I sit on your face, LUCKY YOOOOOOU". I also really love the scene in the mini short "Beg Me" where Mark makes Tristan fuck a pocket pussy (while being all "IF I HAD A WIFE I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH YOU FUCK HER AND IT WOULD BE AMAZING AND GREAT", a fact??? Tristan??? Super????? Misses out on???? When it turns out Mark DOES have a future wife????) before he fucks Tristan and continues to talk about how great it would be if there was a wife here lmao; I also reeeeally love the scene where Tristan and Isolde fuck in that yacht chapel thing. SO. GOOD. SUCH. ANGST.

Obviously, I love many scenes from her Bell Brothers series; the altarfucking scene in Priest; the "holy oil as anal lube" scene, also in Priest; the "let's have anal sex for the first time in a convent" scene in Sinner; the "let's pretend I'm a naughty monk and you're tempting me" outdoor blow job in Saint. All great content. Love it. Amazing.

ANYWAY. NON-SIERRA. Sierra is just the queen of sex scenes, I'm sorry.

I looove the scene in Give Me More by Sara Cate where Hunter, Drake, and Isabel finally have sex after Hunter's admitted that he loves Drake in a romantic manner. It's super hot and also weirdly sweet.

Kristen Callihan's Game On series is REAL GOOD in terms of sex scenes. There's a great scene in The Friend Zone where the heroine is like, taking care of the hero because he's typically been a real caregiver in his family. First of all, she greets him wearing a fake jersey that says "nothing's getting past my tight end". He's a tight end, and I personally think that's love. And then she fingers his ass during to climax and he's super grateful about it because nobody has ever done that before and he felt very loved lmao.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield has SEVERAL very good scenes where they're roleplaying stepfather/stepdaughter stuff, but I think the scene that really sticks out to me remains the first scene where they're in the dark and she doesn't know it's him (and he doesn't know that she doesn't know) and she's going down on him and starts calling him "Daddy" and he like. FREEZES lol.

Reckless by Stella Rhys has an amazing scene where the hero and heroine are boss/employee but also best friends, and he's been helping her get through her realization that her fiance cheated, which has caused a lot of sexual tension... And then in his OFFICE one day, he's just like "use me" and BOOM FRIENDSHIP CORRUPTED. There's also a later scene where he has a very bad work call and she like, undoes her top and is all "you may use my tits to help yourself recover from the manpain you're experiencing right now". Like they're his pacifier. I was... about it.

Minx by Sophie Lark has a scene I read like thrice where the heroine is blowing the hero and then begins fingering him and he's like "nooooow I get why women like to be penetrated". There's also a scene I love where she's like "oh no, I'm on my period" and he goes "DON'T CARE". He might even go down on her.

The All the King's Men Duology by Kennedy Ryan--the scene where he gets her off by sticking his head under her sweatshirt and going to town on her nipples while her coworkers are on the other side of the wall; I mean, I hate to continue... to show my hand.... with this lol, but also the scene where she's blowing him and gives him the ol' bonus pleasure (a finger in his ass)

Mercy by Sara Cate--the pegging scene. That is all.

Possession by Adriana Anders has an amazing scene where the hero kidnaps the heroine (with her consent beforehand) and spit roasts her with his ol' buddy ol' pal. There's also a deleted short about them where he brings in like... three other buddies.... and they all go at her at the same time. AMAZING.

Managed by Kristen Callhan--the whole scene where after they have this really passionate sex he pushes his cum back in her

Lead by Kylie Scott--the scene where they're all "it'll be fine if we just get it out of our systems!!!" and he fucks her on a table while she's wearing like, a FUCKIN BOOT FOR HER BROKEN FOOT LMAO (she broke her foot trying to kick down a door dramatically); and the scene where they have emotional missionary sex and kiss for the first time

Deep by Kylie Scott--the hero finds out the heroine, pregnant with their one night stand baby, has been masturbating a lot and is all "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEEDS FROM NOW ON" and fingers her to orgasm lol

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre--the scene where they play chess while he's inside her and she's in his lap facing away from him, and if he comes he loses or something lol

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid--the scene where Ilya's won player of the year or something so after he drinks vodka while watching Shane finger himself; the "I want to look at you during" sex scene where Ilya uses endearments during and Shane is like "OH NOOOOO HE'S LIKE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME??? ABORT!!!"; the scene after they actually say I love you. SUCH EMOTIONAL SEX SCENES. Oh wait also the scene where Shane is on the phone with his BFF and Ilya is like "I'm just gonna blow you during carry on".

And in TLG, the "I'm fucking a king in his throne room" scene because sometimes you've just got to fuck the confidence back into someone.

[panda-noosh]

my battle with creative joy

hi everyone!

so here i am actually making a blog post. not a fic (sorry...) but an actual, real life blog post where i will just ramble and probably make no sense. i hope you guys don’t mind. i would also like to think you’re used to it by now.

i’ve had a lot on my mind recently when it comes to my creative process, and my creative life in general. from the age i could pick up a pen, i have used writing as an escape, and it has always been a fun thing for me to do (obviously). i remember spending the entire night working on a fic, or having pieces that were over 200k long because i just got in these moments where i couldn’t stop myself from saying more, writing more, creating more. it was an addiction. a good one, but an addiction nonetheless.

the thing that has been playing on my mind, however, is how sad i am that i’ve lost that side of myself.

there are many reasons for this that i cannot beat myself up over; work, life, being an adult. i now have a fiance, and a dog, and a house i have to take care of, because it is my own. i now have a full time job in health care, where the hours are endless and the stress is endless, and it really leaves no room whatsoever to process anything but what you have just seen, or endured, or had to deal with. these are all things out of my control, because as hard as it is to come to terms with it, life is more than just. . . doing what you want.

trust me, i cried over this too. many times.

i get asks on the daily about whether i’m still active, or if i plan on writing anymore (insert fandom here) fics, and i always, always say yes, because i think speaking it into existence will potentially benefit me in the long run. saying no just feels like i’m giving in, and i don’t want to do that, because i would genuinely love to revive this blog, run it the way i used to, interact with you guys in the way i used to. but it’s difficult. it’s impossible some days, because life doesn’t accommodate. it just. . . throws you tasks that you have to deal with whilst keeping yourself sane at the same time.

creative joy is something i’ve been trying to find again for a while now, and it definitely is a work in progress. i still love writing - i know that. but in the same breath, i’m at that age now where i want to make writing my full time job, and that means the dynamic between myself and my creative joy has changed drastically. i no longer sit at my computer with a burst of inspiration and ideas flooding to my head. i sit at my computer now because i have a future in mind that i need to reach. that means word count goals, and schedules, and self doubt. that means getting frustrated with my own capabilities. that means writing for thirty minutes before getting worn down - such a change from the teenager who could sit at her laptop all night without even batting an eye.

it’s sad to think about sometimes, and sometimes i do beat myself up over it. that’s why i’m trying to find that joy again. i’m not being difficult on myself any more - if i want to ditch a project and write something else, that’s what i’ll do. if i want to flesh out a character that has no story to fit into, i’ll do that. if work has exhausted me, i’m going to go to bed without stressing about how behind i’ll be on this imaginary deadline for a novel i’ve set in my head. i’m going to chill out.

i’ve actually really started focusing on self care in this way for a few months now, and it has left me feeling very enlightened, i won’t lie. you don’t realise how harsh you are to yourself until you actually start putting the measures in place to be kind to your mind and body. just putting yourself first, really, and knowing that you should always be your own first priority - for your sake, and everybody else’s.

i don’t know. i just had a lot on my mind in regards to this topic, and i wanted to share it somewhere. i’ll probably do more of these, even if nobody cares to read them lol. they’re just therapeutic to me, so if you’ve read this far, thank you. i’d love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing, and maybe we can help each other out. make a little self-improvement, self-care thing here at case de aticus. 

love you all! 

[disassociativedamsel]

I was told today that I was attention seeking because of the photos I posted on Facebook. Because of the photos I posted on Facebook I was told that he wished it would be me and that he hoped I’d be different, but I wasn’t. He doesn’t want me from seeing my Facebook post and it didn’t make him miss me. It made him feel bad for me. And then I cried I cried so hard and I felt so empty and nothing felt worth it anymore. But part of me one of this to be over a long time ago. Part of me feels constricted and suffocated and miserable. I’ve been on social media all day sharing and posting things that maybe he see, so maybe I WAS attention seeking, but truly only for him. So how will I get past this incredible bump in the road and will win my action stop being directed with the thought of him? I’m sad and I’m lonely and I’m so depressed. Where do I go from here? And will things ever be better? I hope so. I hope so fucking much. Please.

July 27th 5:29 a.m

^^ what’s crazy is again I had no memory of this until just reading this and omg I was in my old room at my mom’s on Columbus avenue and I was just this lil confused girl so fucked up and emotionally confused. I definitely see me victimizing myself with the last few posts but I do genuinely remember not understanding that. I know I’m only talking to myself but I’m so glad I’m starting this project. I can’t wait to reread all of this and read my notes on it at the end ❤️ you’ve come so far Lex.. these entries are so wild and unstable and completely written at a time where you LITERALLY had no idea who tf you were-SCRATCH THAT;;;; NEVER even had enough time to ponder about what it would be when you WOULD. Jesus girl, re reading and typing this shit out at the same time is extremely humbling and lowkey proof that you were actually THAT girl ( you know, the crying, sad, and victimizing pos early young 20 something that irks your entire soul) but NOT bc babe everything you write is so genuine to yourself and real and I’m so blessed to read it like this now that I’m older 🥲 I’m probably only gonna read a couple of more entries before I stop. When I first started this project I didn’t really know if I’d finish or if it was silly but omg this is so therapeutic. I can’t wait to finish this, just as must as I can’t wait to re read my reactions of them. ❤️ I have no memory of this time, but I know it’s about to get realllll rough. I’m weirdly excited to hear how my old self interprets it 😭

[suugrbunz]

Hey! 💝anon here.. That was me giving tips earlier.. Been back on Tumblr for just a couple days, clearing out my old account, saying hellos to old online friends. Thank you, so much, for how you inspired my story last year. You motivated me - so much!

The story finished. I adidn’t do a huge amount with Maureen & Lyam’s relationship; they had a few more moments together, bonding & learning to trust & appreciate each other. Their final moment in the story was their first kiss! (I can send a snippet if you’d like?)

I turned 19 last year (so, a bit younger than you I suppose :)) It’s been good, getting offline. It’s given me more time to do other things; learn gardening from an elderly relative, do some singing (on my own lol), spend time with my family, learn about things that interest me.

Anyway. Hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself, and you can find ways to make life easier, whatever those ways are. 

I understand about the streaming service thing. My family usually just watch cheap second hand DVDs (charity shop sells 20 DVDs for £1!), and occasionally use the cheaper version of Netflix (with ads). I use Internet Archive (archive.org) for books and films (manly older, lesser known films), it’s free, so that’s a good option. 

And totally, get away from Instagram & TikTok! If you think you’d be happier without it, drop it! People online can be really nasty. I quit looking at Reddit, & basically all comments, last year after I suffered a deep depression (due to peoples’ extremely nasty comments toward a part of lgbt that I identify with) Doing a lot better now. 

IDK, and it’s not my business, but hope something works for you. The best people, the ones worth knowing, are those who appreciate character and kindness over consumerist beauty ideals (I say consumerist cause it’s in my belief that we’re pretty well brainwashed to think “perfect looking” people look good; a way of getting people to keep buying makeup they don’t need and the latest fashions)

Ahh, hope this isn’t too much, I write fast and am only basing this all off a couple posts I saw you made, so I’m real sorry if it’s too much! I’ve got a ton of spare time today so I’m just rambling. 

I can’t be coming back to online socialising like I used to, as it took up so much of my limited spare time last year, so this is a rarity, just to say hello. Hugs 🫂 

💝anon

i literally cried seeing it was you— i was noshing on a gyro, crying alone in the kitchen. I have hereditary depression, so it won't get better. It'll always be there. It's just worse than normal lately. Hoping it'll calm down, I wrote and edited some of my book today.

This is like writing a lovely old pen pal, ah, it's nearly therapeutic. I think of you often. I'm nearing tears as i write this because something about talking to you has felt so homeward bound. I love archive, that's how I watched the clash movie, Rude Boy! I have some unread books I wish to finish, one is kafka and the other is khalil gibran. You should see the khalil gibran book, it has such an ornate cover.

I adopted a cat since we've last spoken, she was beside my neighbours house during a storm. I had been taking out my dog and heard her meowing. When i approached her, she immediately came to me. Oh, her name is Laila, she's a tortoise shell.

I definitely have to agree, we are brainwashed constantly to see aging as a sign of lost beauty. Similarly, we are taught that our bodies are never enough because whatever the trend is— it isn't for a girl with an hourglass body. I told my mother the other night, through lots of tears i have never truly loved myself. I mean, around puberty is when confidence develops, at least in my opinion. I got bullied for my body developing into what it now is. So, you can imagine what eating disorder shit i go through because of it. Only fueled by my mother also having a fucked up perception of body-image as well. I am trying my best to understand that my value is an independent variable from the weight on a scale.

Please send me all the writing you wish to, I remember loving your writing. I started publishing my book, but it's completely different. I had to change everything; it was going nowhere. I couldn't get a plot to stitch together. I was nearly at the point of deleting it. Then, out of the blue, I woke up after some dream and was like— "what if I used tamino as a faceclaim? What if x, y, z?". Soooo, i ended up experimenting with it and i actually followed through on replacing nick (i want to implement him in the new book tbh, i miss him). Ah, i hope you find the time to read the chapters I have published... that is if you want to read them, truly there is no pressure there. Again though; please send me your work.

[i-didnt-hate-it]

Hey I did a Walter Mitty and replied to this in my head but not irl.

Personally, my most "therapeutic" movie experiences come when I'm watching a movie in a theater, because it demands my full attention and the experience is so much more immersive. I can't just pause it and do something else or look at my phone during a scene that might make me uncomfortable.

Of course, all art is subjective, so you might not (and probably won't) get the exact same experience that I had, but I hope you still enjoy these.

I watched more movies in the theater in 2024 than I have my entire life, I'm pretty sure, so most of these are probably gonna be 2024 movies lol.

If you haven't seen The Wild Robot, I'm pretty sure it's streaming on Peacock now, and I can't recommend it enough. There's a scene that breaks me to my core every time I've watched it, and I think it always will. There's so much I could say about this movie, but the heart of it is a story about found family, and especially about motherhood. So, no matter what your relationship with your mother, I'd bet this makes you feel something. The song at the end makes me cry every time, too.

Following up with another Lupita Nyong'o movie from last year is A Quiet Place: Day One. I was not expecting to start bawling like a baby in the middle of this movie, but I think most people who lived through covid-19 and everything else that 2020 brought can really relate to what this movie has to say about finding the beauty in the simple things and enjoying life even when the world is falling apart around us. Omg I'm literally tearing up just writing about it. It is an action horror movie so it's kinda intense, but I'd highly recommend it even if you haven't seen the other Quiet Place movies. This one is just so powerful.

Another one that had me bawling my eyes out when I watched it was IF, the imaginary friend movie from John Krasinski. Now I was going through a few "grown-up" problems when I watched it, but aren't we all, like all the time? There's a pureness and beauty to IF, and the emotions that built throughout the movie broke through in the final scene, and I was blubbering in the front row. If you've ever wanted to grow up, or not wanted to grow up, or be a kid again, I think this will hit you where it hurts. In the best way.

These kinda go without saying, but the Inside Out movies will make you emotional, because their whole thing is emotion. The first one definitely still gets my tears flowing more than the second, but 2 got me thinking about more complicated emotions. Which makes sense, since that's kinda the whole plot of the movie lol. Walking out of Inside Out 2 literally felt like walking out of a therapy session.

This one is definitely more niche, but if you've ever struggled with your gender, or sexuality, or even just feeling like an outsider, like you don't belong, "I Saw The TV Glow" might just rip your heart out. It definitely seems to be one of those "you get it or you don't" movies, but if you feel like letting nostalgia tear up your entire perception of reality, I'd recommend it. I don't think I actually cried the first time I watched it, but I think that's because it took me to a place beyond tears. There's no easy way to explain I Saw The TV Glow, so I'd say give it a try if it piques your interest.

We Live In Time also made me feel a lot of things. It's a sad story, but the way it's told makes it very bittersweet, with more sweet than bitter. It's a beautiful love story and Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield are absolutely wonderful.

These last two are pretty uber-specific, but I feel like I need to mention them. The first is the Monk movie, Mr. Monk's Last Case. If you've watched Monk at all, you need to watch the movie. Me and my sister absolutely lost it at the end, it's just so beautiful we couldn't hold back our tears.

Last one is "No One Will Save You" on Hulu. I really wish I could see this in theaters, I need the biggest screen possible. If you watch this, watch it by yourself, with all the lights off, with headphones if you can. It's an alien invasion horror movie, but it focuses on one character, and she never speaks, because she has no one to talk to. The movie is so intimate, you're just holding your breath right along with the main character. No One Will Save You is one of my favorite movies for a lot of reasons, a lot of them I'm not even sure of myself. Sometimes I feel like no one else will get quite as much out of it as me, but if you want to follow a tragic character through an exciting but also extremely thoughtful ordeal, give it a try.

*For the last 2 options, you dont have to count anything that happened when you were a little kid

[sushiwriterhere]

pink light

summary: "He had done as best as he could, had stayed through a pizza dinner huddled on your bed. Your mom had tried to soothe you after he’d left, promising you’d find your person, that it wouldn’t always feel this way, being the butt of the joke. You didn’t really believe her–but how do you describe feeling like you’re always walking into the middle of a conversation, missing out on the inside joke and not really ever belonging?”  rating: teen + up pairing: jake seresin x f!reader (unrequited) word count: ~4k warnings: unrequited love, angst, potentially ooc!, no use of y/n.  notes: this is my first fic in a long while and my first attempt at top gun/writing hangman. also incredibly self indulgent and therapeutic – please feel free to tell me what you think!!! not beta'd <3 after some consideration, I have decided I will not be writing a second part to this fic.

If you had to describe your relationship with Jake Seresin, how you knew him, you’d probably say friends since childhood, fellow military brats, maybe even Thing 1 and Thing 2. You two were inseparable from the moment your parents introduced you. Despite any worries about Jake being a few years older, he took you under his wing. There you stayed–ever his dutiful shadow. He’d invite you to parties, let you sit on the sidelines during sports practices, field snide comments about your relationship. 

Now, here you were however many years later, having followed him to Fightertown after a brief stint of separation during college and him in flight school. You’d followed your parents desires dutifully, getting a degree in something ‘useful’ and maintained a slew of internships, part time jobs, and your studies all at the same time. But all you ever really wanted was a routine, a quieter place in the world. Your classmates went off to graduate school, first-year positions at big consulting companies, and all you wanted to do was be near Jake.

To his credit, he’d taken it completely in stride. He’d helped you apartment hunt and settle in, had talked to Penny about getting you a job and so there you were, reunited again. Except something was different. 

It was a secret to absolutely no one that you loved Jake, deeply. At first your parents had laughed quietly at the puppy love, the way you quietly followed him around, blinking owlishly behind your glasses and just nodding along to whatever he was blabbering on about at the time. Then it was a bit less funny, watching Jake go through high school and all of a sudden be tall, blonde, and handsome. You didn’t really have the words for what you felt, so you just watched as he had girlfriend after girlfriend, each of them treating you with a range of emotions from kindness to outright disdain. 

It had been especially bad once–you’d been asked out as a joke by one of the more popular kids in your grade. You’d shyly accepted before being met by laughter that echoed around the hallways, everyone turning to look (if they weren’t observing already). 

Your mom picked you up early that day. 

“I’m going to beat his ass.” Jake burst through your bedroom door, interrupting your quiet sniffling and causing you to jump with surprise, “Tell me who it is and I’ll fix it.”

You paused your crying to force out, “It’s fine, Jake.”

The scowl on his face was as dark as a thousand nights, “Oh it absolutely is not. I’ll make his life a living hell next year.”

And there he was, saving the day as always. You’d cried harder that night after he left, apologizing but he “had a date” that he couldn’t miss, not even for you. He had done as best as he could, had stayed through a pizza dinner huddled on your bed. Your mom had tried to soothe you after he’d left, promising you’d find your person, that it wouldn’t always feel this way, being the butt of the joke. You didn’t really believe her–but how do you describe feeling like you’re always walking into the middle of a conversation, missing out on the inside joke and not really ever belonging?

So when you and Jake had drifted slightly during his time in flight school and your eventual transition to college, there again was that feeling. Like you were watching your own life on an old TV, trying to tune the frequency and always coming back in in the middle of the plot, not sure where you were supposed to be and with whom. The calls became infrequent, more apologies than actual conversation. Then the first deployment happened, and the letters were brief, impersonal. 

Somehow, even now, in the same town, in an apartment not far from base, from where he lived, you felt like there was a part of the story you were missing. You tried not to let it gnaw at you but seeing him come to the Hard Deck with his buddies, sitting there on the sidelines for beach football, seeing how close he had gotten with the other fighter pilots in your absence–now that stung. 

But you had to focus on the everyday, the constants.

“That better not be a phone on my bar!” Penny’s voice rang out over the din of the shouting in the bar, and you felt yourself laugh as you watched Mav’s face turn bright red. 

“I’d be happy to re-open that tab of yours, Maverick.” You grinned at him, and he shook his head.

“I knew I should’ve stopped Hangman from talking Penny into hiring you, you’re more on her side than mine.” You smiled at the man, glad for his presence–besides you knew he didn’t mean it. 

Your parents were far away, and though they loved you, they were always just a bit detached. Military parents just tended to be like that in your experience. So having Mav and Penny around really made Fightertown feel like home. And certainly, having Jake around didn’t hurt at all (despite the distance). 

And like speaking the name of the devil, over the chaos you heard your name–Jake.

“How’s my favorite bartender doing?” You’d never get over that smile of his, the one he reserved for you (at least you hoped). It was all teeth, crinkles by his eyes, and joy. 

You shook your head, “No matter how much you flatter me, I’m not giving you free beer.”

“You wound me,” the smile never faltered, “But I’m actually not here for a free drink. I’m here for all that worldly wisdom that you gain by being a bartender. Psych’s of the drinking world, something like that.”

Rolling your eyes, you poured a gin and tonic without sparing him a glance, “A major in psychology does not count as me being a psychologist, Jake.”

“Ah, see, but you’re also a woman, so that means you’re qualified to help me out.” This time, he wasn’t looking at you when you turned your attention to him. 

Look, you weren’t dumb. You’d understood since his early high school years that Jake had become a very handsome, very charming man. He’d always been cute, and you’d always thought he had a certain air about him, but somehow shooting up to a solid six-foot and spending all his time in the gym had really done it for every other woman ever. And the string of girlfriends, one night stands in between, never stopped. So you just resigned yourself to nodding along. 

Absolutely nothing about that part of Jake had changed in flight school or beyond, apparently. And he seemed determined to make his way through the female population of Fightertown. For what it was worth, at least he never let them think anything of him but exactly what he was offering–a good time, and nothing else. That’s what he wanted and what they gave him. So him asking for advice from you because you were a woman? That made something clench tight in your chest and grit your teeth just a bit. 

“So now I’m a dating guru?” A rum and coke with a smile to the patron who didn’t even glance at Jake, “Here’s your card, sir, enjoy your evening.”

When you finally made eye contact with him, he just had one eyebrow raised in that incredibly irritating way of his, “Uh, no. But you have feelings and you like poetry and shit, so I need your help.”

If there was one thing that Jake’s string of one night stands was good for, it was letting you maintain your silly daydream of him wisening up one day and seeing you the way you saw him. This, however, felt like a punch in the stomach, like someone had come in the middle of the night and stolen all the spouts off every liquor bottle in the Hard Deck. You wouldn’t necessarily be flying blind during an evening of pouring drinks, but there would be a lot of spillage and a really high chance of tears. 

“I’m not helping you manipulate some poor girl, Jacob.” The full name card; his eyebrow lowered a smidge, “Besides, why don’t you ask Phoenix? She’s a woman.”

He groaned and slumped over on the bar. Gross. You hadn’t had a chance to wipe it since the start of the evening rush, and that had been a very, very, long time ago. You ignored his mini moping session, hoping he’d give up asking you about poetry (what the hell?) and feelings. This was the last thing you wanted to deal with right now. 

Instead, he just stood straight up after a few moments of grumbling, smile intact as ever, “Phoenix doesn’t count, I’m pretty sure her dick is bigger than mine. But you’ll help me right? C’mon, where’s the Bug I know? You used to do anything I’d ask you to.”

A low blow, your childhood nickname. It still stung sometimes that he called you that–you hadn’t been ‘bug-eyed’ since freshman year of high school since you refused to put your middle school glasses back on and your parents had relented and let you get contacts. 

You huffed, “Leave me alone, Jake, I have to work.” You bent over to start breaking up the blocks of ice in the cooler by your feet, if only to hide the way your face was bright red. 

He slapped the bar counter, signaling his retreat, at least for now. This was not going to end well. 

-

Not going to end well? That was the understatement of the year. Whichever girl Jake had his eyes on now was clearly different from the others. He hung around after your shift to annoy you again, and this time he would not take no for an answer. Following you around as you closed, he lifted kegs and moved twenty pound bags of ice, all the while managing to maintain a monologue all about this girl. At some point you almost considered breaking a beer bottle over his head if only to get him to stop talking for ten seconds. 

“Listen, just this once, okay? I just really want your help. Tell me what to do.” How was his voice carrying from where he was under the pool table, scraping gum off the underside. “God, this is fucking disgusting–Penny makes you do this every night? It looks like this hasn’t been cleaned since she bought it.”

Penny actually pretended she couldn’t see the nasty shit stuck under the pool tables, but Jake was annoying you enough that it didn’t matter. Anything to get him to stop asking you for advice about this girl. 

“Please shut the fuck up or go home.” The sound of you throwing a wet rag into the bucket by your feet echoed throughout the empty bar. 

You’d had enough. At this point it was almost four in the morning and all you wanted was to lay down for the next forty-eight hours and not think about anyone or anything. 

His head popped out from underneath the table with a look of surprise. You usually didn’t tell him off, at least seemingly content with letting him prattle on about whatever he felt. There was a good flow, sometimes he’d listen to you complain and other times he’d rest his cheek on the bartop and talk about a particularly bad flight drill. This was clearly different.

You hoped you didn’t look as exasperated as you felt, but you saw the sag in his shoulders at your expression, “Right. Sorry.”

You hated it when he did that–you knew it wasn’t on purpose but it took all the air out of the room when he was upset. But this time you were upset enough that you ignored the tug in your stomach at the heavy silence in the room. 

“Look, I’m finished closing here, and I just really want to go home.” 

The two of you maintained an uneasy silence as you shut off the lights and locked the doors behind you. You did your best not to meet his eyes, the overhead lights of the parking lot casting funny shadows on his face that made him look much younger than he actually was. Sometimes you thought you couldn’t breathe when he looked like that–like when you’d first met, attention always focused on you as you followed him around. 

“I upset you. I’m sorry.” His lips were pursed in a flat line, but he was looking at you like he was trying to understand something. 

Suddenly, the gravel beneath your feet was the most interesting thing in the world. That was, until he pulled you into his arms and squeezed you tight. There he was, enveloping you, burying you in the smell of something so distinctly Jake it made you dizzy with want and hope. 

“It’s okay. Drive me home?” 

You felt him nod against your head, and you silently let him go. His arms didn’t drop from your shoulders until a few moments later. He always did that and somehow it was the worst and best thing in your life. 

-

It wasn’t until your shift the next day that what had transpired between you two hit you fully watching him act sheepish and lay it on thick for who he was evidently asking you about. She was beautiful–tan skin, a wide smile, and bright eyes. Her laugh sounded like music and she was dressed just right, like she was putting in effort but still casual enough for a bar like the Hard Deck. 

You wanted to be sick. Scream, cry, whatever it took. Again, you weren’t entirely naive, but Jake had never made it so obvious to you. There had always been an ocean, an eight hour flight–something, anything, separating your realities. He’d always maintained that you were someone special to him but this felt like your world was shattering in front of your eyes. 

It was embarrassing to admit, but at least the high school girlfriends and the one night stands were easy enough to watch pass by. You two moved around too much for any high school sweetheart nonsense, and by the way Jake made flight school sound, he was clearly more focused on being top of his class than anything else. 

At the very least, the universe seemed to pity you if only for the moment. The Hard Deck was incredibly busy on a Friday night, and it only took a few patrons to block your line of sight to your worst nightmare. You worked on autopilot, letting muscle memory and the part of your brain that excelled at customer service take over. In your head, though, you were about to lose it.

All you could see was him leaning close to her, clearly whispering something hilarious into her ear, and her throwing her head back in laughter. The way his hand pressed into her waist made you sick.

It was only after closing, after everyone had been sent home, that you let yourself exhale. Sinking to the ground behind the bar, you buried your face in your hands, reeking of alcohol and all. It took everything in your not to completely break down–you still felt a few stray tears slip out. God, you were so stupid. So young, so naive. 

In that moment it didn’t feel like you had ever moved past that wide eyed six year old meeting Jake for the first time. You’d had boyfriends, kissed a few strangers, but they’d all faded into a sort of background noise whenever compared to Jake. But in that moment, it felt like you were finally hearing the beginning, middle, and end of the conversation.

Beginning: You were Jake’s little shadow, always two steps behind, always tripping over yourself to keep up. 

Middle: At some point, Jake grew up, and you didn’t. 

End: Jake was not in love with you. 

-

Penny took one look at your face when you walked in for your Saturday shift and immediately tried to send you home, “Even if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not letting you work when you look about three seconds from bawling.”

It stung but she was right. You’d gone home after Friday’s shift and sobbed yourself to sleep. Jake had tried to call in the middle of the day Saturday and you sent him to voicemail. That of course prompted several more calls, all to voicemail, and at least six text messages, all of which you left unanswered. You half expected him to show up at your place and breakdown the door, but he didn’t show. Whether that was worse or better, you hadn’t decided yet.

“Penny, I’m–Look, I’m fine. I’d actually really prefer to work, I need the distraction.” You did your best at a smile, truly hoping she would buy it. 

She narrowed her eyes at you, and gave you a once-over. By the grace of something bigger than the universe, she let you pass her into the back so you could clock in. 

You knew Jake would be here, but you just kept your head down, hoping that would somehow protect you. It was actually Phoenix who found you first, tucked in the back taking a breather from running cups and bottles of liquor so you wouldn’t have to talk to customers. 

She called your name softly and offered a small smile, “Hey, there you are.”

Phoenix and you had always gotten along. She was always sweet to you, always ribbing on the guys on your behalf, and defending you from any creep who decided to try and make a move. But she was also always dangerously observant, and you could tell that this time would be no different.

So despite everything going on around you two, she crouched down beside you, and began pulling everything out of you the way she always did, “I can tell something’s wrong. And I know it’s because of Hangman.”

That was all it took–slapping a hand over your mouth, you felt the sob rise in your throat. Clearly alarmed, she grabbed your other hand and tugged you out back, doing her best to avoid the eyeline of the other fighter pilots. Once out in the dark you sank into the sand and she rubbed your back soothingly as you let your emotions pour out. 

You left no stone unturned, spilling every part of your heart out to her. How you had been in love with Jake probably since the beginning, how you’d waited on the sidelines for your moment, how you’d gone to college on the other side of the country hoping it would help, how the distance felt like an old battle wound. And through it all, she sat and listened thoughtfully. 

“I think you should talk to him. Hangman-” She stopped herself, “Jake shouldn’t be making you feel like this, honey, no one should. But he won’t know unless you tell him.”

Despite it all, you were a romantic. When you had your first middle school crush (other than Jake) you’d marched right up to him and told him straight to his face. You went on your first date because you asked. It never made any sense when looking at every other part of you, but love was just something you couldn’t keep to yourself. Other than Jake. 

“You should talk to him.”

“Phoenix?” There he was, calling your name, “Guys? What’s going on?”

He thundered down the back stairs of the Hard Deck, shaking sand everywhere, his silhouette blocking out the light from the bar. When he spotted you kneeling in the sand with Phoenix at your side, his shoulders sagged. 

“Are you hurt? What happened?” He stopped short by Phoenix and they seemed to have some sort of wordless conversation because she stood and he plopped himself down in her stead.

You wouldn’t look at him. The world felt too big and too small at the same time, like the universe was crashing down on your head and the only thing you could manage to do was let it happen. Phoenix, that traitor, pressed her lips to your head, and walked back into the bar. 

There it was, that part of you that just couldn’t hold back its feelings rearing its ugly head. Except this time it wouldn’t be a schoolyard rejection, it wouldn’t be an awkward pizza date, it would be the end of something bigger than yourself. For a moment, you let yourself bask in what you knew, deep down, was the end of what you had been, and an uncomfortable start to where you would go. 

“Well, I clearly did something.” Jake wasn’t looking at you either–he was looking at the ocean and fiddling with a drink straw. 

“You, uh, well,” You cleared your throat, “It’s not really your fault.”

“Bug, you have like a thousand missed calls from me and probably a thousand more missed texts.” 

The tears were coming again–guilt, fear, sadness, all pouring out of you. You imagined him pacing around his apartment, wearing a hole in the carpet, trying to reach you. You imagined him calling Phoenix and asking for advice. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Isn’t that my line?” He turned to look at you, clearly hoping cracking a joke would ease the tension–no such luck. “Do you want me to go?”

“No.” He stilled beside you. 

“Bug, I don’t–I can’t fix what I did if you won’t tell me.” He was looking back at the ocean, the drink straw now some sort of complicated sailor’s knot.

Swallowing roughly, you figured it was now or never, truly. You closed your eyes, pretending that this moment would be different, that what you were about to say would bring an outcome different than it really would. Maybe in another universe there would be a Jake who saw you as someone other than a younger sibling, his little shadow. 

“I love you, Jake. And there’s nothing that can fix that aside from time.”

He was quiet. There it was. 

“I’m sorry,” He dropped the nickname, using your real name, “I didn’t realize. I must’ve really hurt you with all that poetry shit.”

You felt hollow, numb from every fingertip to your core, “Right.”

“You’re brave, Bug, braver than I’ll ever be. But, I can’t–I’m not that person for you, I’m sorry.” His voice sounded thick with emotion. “I can give you space, whatever you need. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, you just sat next to him, looking out at the ocean. The moon was clear in the sky, Fightertown always maintaining a balmy, clear sky. Here you were, having followed your first, and one true, love across the country. None of it felt real. 

“Thank you, Jake. It’ll take time, but I’ll be fine.” You looked at him for the first time, truly, since things had started unraveling. 

He looked so human, so tired, under the moonlight. It pained you, but for a moment you felt that flicker in your chest, the one you felt whenever he distanced himself, the one that reminded you how human he was. He hadn’t been that little boy for a long, long time. Your days of swingsets and bike rides and childhood inside jokes were past. 

There was some part of you that knew you would be able to breathe again, if not now then in a week, a month, a year. He’d get deployed again, you’d settle back into your routine at the Hard Deck. You’d find your person, like he clearly had. 

And it was time for you to accept that.

[fatuifucker]

stream clip: posting your boobs on twitter so scara can win a twitter poll

PAIRING = streamer! scaramouche x fem-sex reader (they/them pronouns used but mention of boobs)

WARNINGS = boobplay (reader receiving), not canon to sucker series storyline, scuffed writing

W/C = 0.5k

A/N = from this post, yayy congrats on scara for winning and thank you scaranation for helping! also not...very...proud of it though,, despite my love for boobs, i don't read wlw smut so i don't know how to write them :shrug: i'm sorry i'll try harder next time aaaaaaaaa

TAGS = @midnxght-sweet-time, @zen-daydreams, @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @teallapril, @lovediluc, @yumixxn (i can't tag some of you guys sorry)

scara☆lover @yn-reader

If Scara wins I'll post a pic of my boobs

[stream deja vu!! @best-streamers

round one: 06ScaraBalladeer vs KoushiWhale]

scara-sama @06ScaraBalladeer

They said it! A vote for me is a vote for free boobs!

[scara☆lover @yn-reader

If Scara wins I'll post a pic of my boobs]

—

You: Kuni

You: What did you do?

Kuniku<3: Huh what are you talking about

Kuniku<3: How far are you from home? I want my cake

You: Kuni, you know what you retweeted

Kuniku<3: Oh that…hehe, just a little encouragement to get people voting for me

Kuniku<3: Aka the most prettiest doll in the universe

Kuniku<3: You wouldn't let me lose, would you?

You: Kuni.

Kuniku<3: Besides when I win, we'll get more clout for the channel

Kuniku<3: And you said you'd do anything to help me grow, riiiight?

You: …

—

"Get a good shot. We need to thank them properly, don't you think?"

You position the phone close to your chest — showcasing your assets while concealing your face from view. Scara's signature lace gloves cup your breasts, his breath blowing into your ear as he orders you to take a picture.

"That's good enough," he says, snatching the phone from you and going on your account.

"I'm surprised you're okay with that. I thought you didn't want me to sell my body."

"It's fine, we'll deleting the post in a minute." He removes his gloves and tosses it aside. "And it's not like they'll know that you're my s/o. They'll just think I'm rewarding a fan, probably make some creepy comments, which all means more clout." He taps the post button before leaving the phone on the table and reaching over to grab a bottle of lotion. “Now that’s done…let me appreciate you too.”

Kuni squirts out a few pumps of the lotion, spreading it evenly atop his palms. The delicate scent of rain and lavender is pleasing and even therapeutic; well, you bought it for Kuni because of its calming properties. He shifts his body, spreading his legs as an invitation for you to come closer. Knowing what he intends on doing, you lean your back against his chest.

Kuni’s hands make their way to your chest and gently kneads your breasts. His thumbs dig at the flesh, the pads of his fingers putting the right amount of pressure. He hums as spreads the sticky white substance all over your mounds, and you know he’s smiling behind you.

“Poor thing, look at all this tension you’ve built up,” Kuni coos. “You’ve been working so hard for my sake, haven’t you?” His fingers circle around your areola, making you jump when he roughly pinches your nipples. “What a good little producer I have.”

Burying his face into your nape, Kuni continues to massage your tits, drinking in all your whimpers and cries. The lavender scent — that was meant to calm you down — is hypnotic, the squelchy sounds of the viscous liquid on skin adding to the muddled mess in your mind. You weakly call out his name, but the only salvation you received was a warm tongue gliding the shell of your ear. All you could do is sink into his hold, shutting your eyes as you succumb to the pleasure.

“Hehe, (Name), you truly are adorable.”

[strange-dreams-are-made-of-these]

You Made Her Shine

Summary: The reader is having issues internally dealing with her past truamas. One specific person decides to go on air and twist a story for his liking. Stephen does not approve of this message. Reader is 34 and Stephen is 44-45. Based after Endgame, before NWH

Part Two here!!

Word Count: 2,020

Warnings: Angst, childhood trauma (absent father, maturing young), Fluff at the end, i think thats it?

A/N: This was something i had to put together. Writing is therapeutic, and i can help myself release these emotions in a safe space. This origin is slightly based on my childhood (not 100% of it is true), but just enough for me to see a part of myself in it. Also, the gif used was created by @cumberbatchlives​ as per the credit in the bottom left.

Father's day weekend wasn't always her favorite time of the year. There was nothing against the time of year or anything. It was just a simple reminder to the woman that she missed out on so many different life lessons from having an absent father. It was something she struggled with internal, keeping it from the people in her immediate life. So when her biological father was seen doing an interview about her, she watched it with seething rage for him.

"So, what was it like to raise, Y/n? She's a superhero, having been found responsible for saving lives in New York three years back and then being a part of the Avengers to defeat Thanos! That must be remarkable." The woman interviewing him was doing her job, and Y/n understood. What she couldn't understand was why he looked so damn proud, sitting on a couch and wearing a suit. It looked expensive, worth a lot of money.

"Where to begin?" The man chuckled. "Y/n was the apple of my eye-"

"Was?" The interviewer asked.

The man chuckled, pulling at his collar. "Life comes with different stages. When she was little, we were inseparable. After she turned eleven, she became her mother's daughter. They were two peas in a pod, joined together at the hip." He spoke, grinning the whole time. "Not many people get to say that their daughter is an Avenger, working fighting alongside Kings, Gods, and super soldiers. I wish there was footage of the fight against Thanos so I can point her out. I can say, Hey that's my daughter."

"Yeah, you would like, wouldn't you?" The woman whispered to herself, watching the screen intently.

That was when Stephen walked by, seeing her watching the interview. Her right leg was bouncing, her fingers interlocked together tightly as she sat on the edge of her seat. He knew something was wrong. He looked to the screen, seeing his name in a banner below his image. Rick Swann, that was his name. The woman dropped his name long before he could ever remember, picking up her mother's last name while still attending grade school. He watched as the station played videos of Y/n saving people from debris, collecting children who were separated from their families, and fighting the bad guys. He could see the resemblance between the two of you, nothing more than your hair and eye color. Just enough for a logical guess.

"Mr. Swann, tell us, how did you feel when Y/n contacted you after the fight? Certainly, the both of you checked on each other."

There was a slight twinge in the man's neck, but he played it off by running his hand across it. "I called her, and we cried. It had been so long since I heard her voice. I told her how much I loved her, and how proud I am to be her father."

"LIAR!" The woman yelled, standing up and throwing the remote across the room. She worked herself up a little bit, waving her hands in front of her to turn the television off using her mystic arts training.

Stephen stepped into the room, holding his hands out in front of him. "I don't think the remote deserved that." He replied, getting her attention.

The woman turned around, seeing Stephen dressed in his comfortable clothing. It was a nice change of pace from his Masters Robes. She looked at him for a few moments before turning her face to the side, relaxing her shoulders as she slowed her breathing down. "I'm sorry."

Stephen watched her as she tried to calm down, sensing there was more to the story. "No need to be." His voice was calming, something that the woman loved about him. He was a gentle giant in her eyes. He could do wrong, nobody was without imperfections, but Stephen's soul was unique. "What was that about?"

She looked at him again, watching as he walked over to where she had been, appearing interested in her outburst. She took a step to the side, sitting back down on the couch, giving him room to sit as well. She rubbed her hands together, trying to figure out the best way to start her story. "I don't know how much of that you saw."

Stephen sat down next to her, tucking one leg under him. His right foot rested under his left knee as his left hand reached down to rest on his right calf. "What I saw was somebody struggling to tell the truth."

The woman met his eyes, her normal light-hearted and enthusiastic stare was now one of gloom and hatred. They were wet as if he interrupted her from crying. "That's an understatement." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You can tell me if you want."

She knew Stephen wasn't the type to demand information from his friends or the ones he cares about. He was much more relaxed than the man who was on the screen minutes before. She shook her head, her eyes darting down quickly before catching his again. "The man is promoting himself as a loving, caring father. A father who was honored to have their daughter fight to save the world, be known as a public figure for helping the innocent."

Stephen nodded slowly, his right arm resting on the back of the couch near her shoulder, and his thumb and index finger reached out to rub the fabric of her jacket. A soothing gesture to help her relax. She appreciated it, he could tell when her eyebrows began to relax from their once pursed expression. "But?"

"But he never was." She responded, almost defeatedly. "He never cared about me. He never cared about my mother or my brother. He was always at the office, pinning the next intern who entered his office. He only showed up to events where he would look good if it was known I was his daughter. Award ceremonies, championship volleyball games, my high school graduation, and my college graduation. He didn't live with us. He had an apartment-" She exhaled deeply, feeling frustrated that she had to explain to Stephen something that she never worked through herself. She looked down again, her eyes clenching shut as she tried to keep her composure.

Stephen gave her the time to gather her thoughts back. How he wished he could change those memories for her, or find her quicker in life so she may not have always focused on the pain.

Y/n continued on. "He was the first man to break my heart. My heart broke years before I even realized what happened. I lived with the guilt that I wasn't a good enough daughter for him. I thought that I was an embarrassment. I never saw him much growing up outside of major events. Even then, I didn't see him for long. I was there for my brother growing up. I took him to get his tuxes for his events." She laughed a little, recalling a memory. "I made a dinner for him and his prom date, both years. I set up our patio and decorated it, giving him and his date a special memory to have. I taught him how to tie his tie. I taught him how to ride a bike. I took him out for driving lessons on the weekends." Then the regret set in again. How much it hurt to have to grow up so young and help her mother raise her baby brother.

Stephen watched her as she rolled through the emotions. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I never knew-"

"I never wanted anybody to know," somberly she admitted. She looked back up at him, the tears welling in her eyes. "I thought that the fight to bring everybody back was going to be my biggest fight. It will never compare to how I fight every day with myself to never make somebody else feel the way he made me feel." She was truly broken, beyond what she ever thought was possible. "He waited until my brother was dead to say those things. He knows that if he was around now, that interview would have never happened." She began to cry, placing her hands in front of her face, and beginning to lean forward.

Stephan caught her, wrapping his arms around her. He loved Y/n so much, having developed quite a relationship with her before he disappeared in the blip. She met him shortly after he became the new Guardian of New York and the sorcerer supreme. He helped to train her, and she taught him so much more about getting a second chance, so much more about life. From everything he knew about her, he would have never imagined her start in life was so broken. "It's okay now. I've got you." He whispered in her ear, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.

"It's not fair. He broke my mother's heart and gave her money to raise us instead of owning up to his responsibilities. Why marry her when he never loved her? Why have kids when he was never going to commit?" She asked him, resting in his tender embrace.

Stephen held her, rubbing circles into her back as she found comfort in his arms. "I wish I could tell you, Y/n. I wish I could have been there, but we both know we can't change the past. For whatever, messed up reason, you were meant to live through that. But look at you now! You're a master of the mystic arts! You saved billions of lives from mass genocide. And, you have me now."

The woman pulled her head back, looking into his eyes. He never had to remind her of her accomplishments. He never once had to speak about her achievements. None of that mattered to her. What he did say that mattered to her though? She had him. There was no fault in his voice, no twinge of muscle or tendon, no need to pull on his collar. He was certain, his body language reassuring her. But it wasn't enough to be sure. "What if you meet somebody better?"

Stephen looked at her, bringing one hand up to wipe the tears that fell from her face. "I have met better. I met you. I met you when you were at your worse, and you still didn't act like you were the world's most pitiful human being. You care for those around you. For some reason, you decided to care for me."

The woman searched his face, feeling all the negative emotions leave her body and allowing for all the love he was giving her to take over her thoughts. "I love you, Stephen Strange. Please don't leave me."

Stephen pressed another kiss to her forehead, his lips then trailing down to kiss the tip of her nose. "I would never want to leave you, Y/n." His reply caused her to cry again, this time in happiness. He was angry with the man who was on the screen, angry that he acted the way he did. But if it weren't for his actions, he would never have Y/n as his person. "I think that we should go out tonight." He suggested.

She sniffled a little before looking at him again. "Really?"

Stephen nodded. "Yes, well, the world is saved again. The population was brought back, thanks to you and your thinking with the other Avengers. We haven't had a proper date night since the fight. I'll pull out one of my expensive suits too, nothing like the fake trash he was wearing."

Y/n licked her bottom lip, nodding to everything he had to say. "Yeah, a date sounds good." She loved the thought of seeing him in his suits, knowing he had a preference for Armani. She loved him in his casual clothes too, like the ones he was currently wearing. But to be able to dress up in one of her dresses to show off how soft and delicate she could be was a nice feeling too. "Thank you, Stephen, for everything."

"Thank you, for trusting me."

[miiamour]

multitasking

fem!reader x ron weasley

summary: ron finds a way to give you attention and play video games at the same time. (somewhat muggle au)

warnings: thigh riding, spitting, breast play, cunnilingus, hair pulling but more like hair tugging, implied masochistic, implied innocence kink.

word count: 1.3k

a/n: i got this idea at 2am & couldn’t stop thinking about it lol. ALSO i’m thinking of changing up my fic set up so let me know what y’all think lmao.

ron was laying against his headboard playing some new game that harry had gotten him for his birthday. his shaggy red hair was messy and nearly covered his eyes, it grew to the nape of his neck and strands poked out behind his ears. freckles covered his face and trailed down his shoulders to his torso, you were so bored you could have counted them all.

you had began poking at the freckles on his shoulder, he wore a grey tank top that honestly seemed a bit small on him but you didn’t mind in the least; especially when his shirt would rise up exposing his lower stomach and v-line every time he yawned.

“are you almost done?” you whined out. ron had claimed that he was “nearly finished with the level” 20 minutes ago and you were extremely bored.

you had went over to ron’s house expecting to get something from your boyfriend, instead he was glued to his screen; you had even wore a pair of cotton short shorts and his t-shirt that you stole from him— he didn’t mind because he thought you looked so pretty in it— and not to mention you had decided to go braless. but none of this got his attention though.

“nearly done, love” ron mumbled, barely even looking away from the television. you rolled your eyes at him and decided to get his attention another way.

you scurried over to his door and locked it to make sure none of his siblings came in unannounced.

you slowly slipped your t-shirt off and ron, who had yet to notice, continued playing his game until you tossed your shirt towards him and it landed on his leg.

ron glanced down at his leg, looked at the television screen, then quickly looked back at the shirt that was previously on your body. his eyes went wide and his attention was quickly diverted to you, shirtless.

without properly stopping the game, he motioned for you to move onto the bed with him, so you made your way to his bed and straddled his right thigh. he wrapped his arms around your waist but still continued to play the game.

ron then took it to upon himself to attach his lips to your right breast.

his tongue swirled around your nipple and sucked; it seemed almost therapeutic to him. he nipped at your nub and placed soft pepper kisses all over your chest, leaving a few hickeys in the process. he always loved leaving beautiful marks all over your skin.

you bit back a moan, all this sudden attention causing you to pool in between your legs and ron could probably feel it through your thin cotton shorts.

you knew for sure ron felt the arousal on his plaid pajama pants once he started to bounce his leg up and down; at first it was subtle, you couldn’t tell if he was actually bouncing his leg or his leg just twitched. but then you knew, his leg would bounce and his eyes would glance up at you to see your reaction.

your fingers were already digging into his shoulders to keep yourself from rutting against him. your fingers entangled with his ginger tresses and you gently tugged at the hair near his neck.

you moved the hair in front of his face and he peered up at you; his blue eyes had a sense of innocence to them, as if he wasn’t aware of how lustful he was. his lips looked swollen out as they were wrapped around your tit. he was so beautiful that you involuntarily rolled your hips and a quiet moan feel out of your mouth.

you could feel his lopsided smirk on your skin, “go ahead, you know you want to” he chuckled lowly causing vibrations to rise up your spine.

and you wanted nothing more than to get off on his thigh, so you rolled your hips again, and again, and again. you desperately thrusted against his thigh. but despite the feeling of ecstasy, it wasn’t enough and ron knew that.

ron had set his controller down momentarily, but you had yet to notice. his hands traveled down to your lower back and waist, gripping onto your skin while his lips were still on your chest and his teeth grazed your hardened nipple.

ron lifted his thigh and slid you off, you whined at the lost of contact until ron’s fingers played with the hem of your shorts while he looked up at you, “may i?” he asked and you nodded frantically.

he slipped off your cotton shorts and panties, threw them to the side before gently pushing you forward. you laid on your back, fully nude, in front of ron.

ron positioned himself in between your legs and he hooked his arms around your legs with his hands resting on your stomach with his controller in his hands.

you shivered at the feeling of ron’s breath on your core. he placed soft gentle kisses on each of your thighs then they trailed closer and closer to your cunt.

he gently placed a single kiss on your clit and shivers ran up your spine from the anticipation. ron felt your thighs clench and he delved his tongue into you, swirling and lapping at your wetness while moans filled the room.

you looked down at ron and saw him with his eyes still stuck on the television screen but yet his mouth was completely devoted to you. his eyes lit up every time he glanced at you, he adored seeing you unravel because of him.

he placed wet sloppy kisses all over your cunt and dragged his tongue through your folds before flicking his tongue on your clit. with each flick, it looked like their were stars painted across your vision.

“mhm ron- fuck” you cried out. your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you reached for his bedsheets, wrinkling them in your clutch.

ron chuckled at your euphoric state causing vibrations to course through your body. you felt a knot in slightly bucked your hips. you dug your heels into ron’s shoulder blades causing a loud groan to fall out of his mouth and more vibrations through your body— he did always like it when you would do that; said it was the good type of pain.

he went faster now, he saw that you were so close to release and wanted to see how long you could hold it. then suddenly, you felt his tongue inside of you. twisting and turning, covering your velvet walls with his saliva. his nose bumped into you bundle of nerves with every thrust of his tongue.

“holy fuc- ron! i’m going to come! oh merlin” you choked.

you withered underneath ron and he couldn’t help but be in awe of you. you looked absolutely stunning in this position, nude with nothing but a thin layer of sweat as you trembled due to the immense pleasure; ron was always quite proud of the state of mind he could bring you to.

“let go” he murmured into you.

he alternated between sucking on your clit and fucking you with his tongue. your body shook and you’re body felt on fire, in the best way possible as his tongue embowed, hitting the perfect spot right on the inside of your entrance. he dragged your orgasm, making sure you feel every inch of it. fire coursed through your veins, and ron kept licking at you, drinking up every bit of your climax.

all that left your lips were curse words and moans mixed with ron’s name. the coil snapped— no, exploded. every inch of your body was both tense and shaking at the same time.

your chest was heaving and you felt ron shuffle upwards and hover over your body leaving a trail of kisses and goosebumps all the way up to your neck.

“you look so pretty like this, darling.” he whispered before pulling a blanket over the two of you and nuzzling his head into your neck.

“did you pass the level?” you chuckled quietly.

“uh yeah, like ten minutes ago” he said against your neck, “but you were too busy cumming all over my tongue to notice me” he smirked against your neck acting offended.

“oh shut up” you laughed, “maybe next time i’ll learn how to multitask like you”.

—

taglist: @anywherebuthere @myloveforluna @ga-bitch @starlight-writes-stuff @mnachopsis @slutforsalvatore @nefariousaffairs click here to join my taglist !

[delwrites]

Akaashi being your Roommate would include...

otherwise known as another episode of me projecting <3

you guys are roommates from strangers, being housed together on a whim of panic of not having anyone else to go to

best choice ever

okay so we all know how perfect this man is

bestie it doesn't matter how messy or clean, loud or quiet you are, this man is gonna love you.

he finds cleaning really therapeutic, so if you are messy and have a messy room, this man will definitely find solace in helping you clean it, viewing it as the best bonding exercise there is

if you're loud,, no worries baby, Akaashi absolutely adores the background noise of you talking, singing and being your beautiful self,, he enjoys the comfort of knowing he's not alone

if you can cook, he really enjoys time spent cooking with you, if you don't however (join the club), he will insist on teaching you

and he would always try his hardest to eat with you, no matter what

mans just needs to make sure you eat :((((

he cooks you breakfast every day oh my gosh what a god

he just sees how tired you are in the mornings due to the lack of sleep the previous night, bubs is just trying to help you :((

and once he finds out just how bad your sleeping schedule is, he starts reading you to sleep, insisting the sleep is very important for your health (even if he barely sleeps too)

this man is lowkey a sugar daddy like just look at him

USES YOU FOR ALL HIS ART PROJECTS PLEASE LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY, PAINTING, DRAWING YOU NAME IT

if you can bake oh my gosh get in his pants

he'd absolutely love any little treats you'd make specifically for him

you cannot tell me he doesn't have such a sweet tooth

watching horror films with him is the best, he enjoys it so much just because he gets to comfort you fjbfuy32fj0j9c

please for the sake of my delicate sanity please hang up his pieces of art that you can tell are his favourites, just around the apartment, in hallways and the living room, I promise you, he will cry.

I see Akaashi as someone who cries a LOT,, just only in front of selected people

he doesn't like to cry in front of Bokuto, don't get him wrong, its not that he doesn't trust him, its just that he doesn't want Bokuto to worry for him :((((

so when he cries in front of you for the first time, bestie just hug him and let him sob into you please you just mean so much to this beautiful man <3

this is my favourite ninoencoiniof but Akaashi secretly writing a poem about you :((((( and keeping it hidden under his bed in a locked box (beside his diary because bestie you just know he keeps such an aesthetic diary) :(((((

and every time he feels himself missing you, he gets it out and reads it over, maybe even adding more :((((

for your birthday/ Christmas, after you two are so tight-knit, he gives you the poem :(((( that's how much he trusts your pretty ass

this man has such calming music taste, he feels most content when he may be listening to a gorgeous classical piece, maybe Winter by Vivaldi, or maybe the soundtrack to a ballet, such as None but the Lonely Heart by Isaac Stern, playing with your hands as you both lay snuggled up to one another on the sofa, waiting for the cookies you'd just prepared together to finish baking in the oven, the smell nostalgic to him

you'd also go on dates that aren't quite dates so often, like once or twice every week, he'll treat you to a "hang" at the cinema, then a few days later he finds himself asking you to a new candle lit restaurant that just opened up around the corner of your apartment complex

yet he still decides to tell himself that he insists on taking you because he's never felt so close to someone else before, in a different way from Bokuto (and wHY MIGHT THAT BE AKAA-)

this man plays the violin. so. well. try tell me im wrong. go on. pm me. tell me how the fact I just told you is incorrect. you'd look stupid <3 when you both get closer, he'd give you private performances in the living room. bae if you don't appreciate them and hype him tf up-

the best four am therapist there is

it takes a while for him to confess to you, because he has trouble admitting his feelings to himself. he doesn't mean to, its just that this god has trust issues, and its difficult for him to believe he could have such intense romantic feelings towards you. just give him time bestie, give him time

is definitely a romantic, so to confess, he writes a little monologue to recite to you, during a home made dinner that he was to surprise you with once you got back home to him,

he had set the table perfectly, singular rose matching the bouquet he had bought to gift to you, candles scattered around as well as one placed next to the rose on the centre of the table

he had worked so hard on it, put so much effort into it

and you just know his confession shall be wonderfully worded and elegantly executed

when you say yes to him asking to be your boyfriend (not if, when), he wraps you in a loose hug, not wanting to startle you with any overwhelming physical attention (poor overthinking bby) and mumbles a sincere thank you in your ear.

this man is a keeper <3

this man makes me weep and he should make you weep too.

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show." 

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?" 

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!" 

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ��BALANCE’  which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!" 

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way." 

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?" 

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone." 

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you." 

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?" 

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?” 

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago." 

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.” 

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well." 

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible." 

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are." 

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side." 

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried." 

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much." 

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people." 

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?" 

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on." 

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show." 

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories." 

"That's understandable." 

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?" 

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!" 

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 08/04/2021