#I couldn’t think of anything Riz could hold over Adaine and Gorgug but you get the point

[audible301]

I really hope the finale includes pc characters having rage-outs and whatnot, even though it’ll probably be straight PC vs NPC melee, just because like. Bad kids vs a gorgug or adaine they can’t just despell magic on would rule. PvP my beloved.

Gorgug and Adaine are the two where we’ve had some talk about what would happen and I think that they’d be incredibly interesting (and very deadly).

That being said I fully believe that their angel, their little shrimp, the man holding them together, Riz Gukgak has Batman esque files on everybody’s weaknesses just in case. A raged out Riz (a Riz who took most of his stress tokens for his friends) would be a whole different kind of dangerous. Riz who would move heaven and earth to keep his friends together no matter how much sleep he’s losing trying to keep the chaos from taking over. Riz who loves his friends dearly and does not care that they have made his life harder. Kristen who’s campaign he spent all year breaking his back for. Fig who can treat school like a joke despite knowing how important it is to him. Fabian who isn’t going to have struggle to pay for college the way Riz is. And somewhere in the back of his head Baron telling him that they will all find a partner one day and he’ll be alone. Riz does not blame his friends for any of it but a raged out Riz might not extend the same curtesy to them.

(Also I kind of do need Fabian “what are you talking about I did not attack Adaine” Aramais Seacaster to rage out. )

[infaethable]

(part one here)

riz gukgak has been legally dead for a week when he wakes up in a hospital bed.

it’s not like in movies, he doesn’t come to consciousness all at once. he catches snippets of conversations and traces of sensations, the relief of his mother’s voice for half a second, the comforting smell of adaine’s bergamot shampoo that always lingers even a few days after a wash, a hand in his, rubbing a thumb across riz’s split and scabbed over knuckles before he finally fights the urge to go back into the sweet relief of unconsciousness and opens his eyes.

it's so bright that he immediately has to beat back the impulse to close them again, his pupils narrowing into slits in order to take in less light. he's got a killer headache, and his mouth is dry as he says the only thing he can think of.

which is understandably, "ow."

fabian, who riz had uncharacteristically not noticed sleeping silently in the chair beside the bed, falls out of said chair in surprise. riz lets a smile spread across his face, the first in a number of weeks.

now that he's more in himself, he takes in the room more and sees that clearly, he's been here for at least a little bit. if he had to guess, a couple of days. there are multitudes of cards on his bedside table, a kids one scrawled over in black sharpie clearly from fig, a handmade one that could be from kristen or gorgug, a lovingly colored in color by numbers type thing unmistakably from adaine, and a number of nondescript ones probably from distant classmates or his mom’s coworkers. on the windowsill is a slightly misshapen glass vase riz recognizes from it’s home on fabian’s dresser, holding a tin flower.  

riz leans over the side of his bed, ignoring the flash of pain from pulling his stitches (which he apparently has now?) and takes in fabian himself, who’s getting his bearings on the floor. he supposes he’s being hypocritical, as someone in a hospital bed, but fabian looks rough. 

he's got dark shadows under his eyes, and his hair, which over the past year had shifted slowly from straightened to loose bouncy curls, is frizzy, and disheveled like he’s run his hands through it too many times for the style to keep. his jacket, usually pressed (which riz made fun of to no end, the idea of pressing a letterman's jacket was so ridiculous-) was crumpled on the chair as if it had been draped over him like a blanket when he fell. and as fabian reaches a hand on the side of the hospital bed to help himself up, riz sees that there are white bandages wrapped around his palms.

riz feels a pang of worry along with the pull of his stitches, so he reluctantly repositions himself, but cocks his head to meet fabian’s gaze and croaks out (he should really ask about some ice chips-), “what happened to your hands?”

fabian finally gets himself to a standing position, blinks the sleep from his eyes, and says, "the ball. you’re- i'm going to get a nurse!" and runs out of the room.

riz gets about ten seconds of confusion before sklonda comes running in, and envelops him in the warmest hug he’s ever had and holds on for dear life.

and then, in a voice laced with more grief than he’s heard in six years, she says, 

"you- riz you were gone." 

and riz says back, trying not to get his mom’s curls in his mouth,

"i texted adaine?"

and sklonda pulls back, hands still on his shoulders, says, 

"and then you went missing for three weeks! they found three and a half pints of your blood on the floor of a laundromat in bastion city, riz you are so!"

and then she makes a noise that riz knows means she is utterly done with his antics and buries him in a hug again.

and a nurse comes and taps sklonda on the shoulder, "mrs. gukgak? we need to check his vitals." 

his mom corrects the nurse under her breath, “as i’ve told you, it’s miss gukgak.” before taking a step back.

riz answers benign questions like what country he's in (solace) what week it is (second week in november) how he’s feeling (bad) all the while craning his neck very subtly to see if fabian will come back in the room. his mom only rolls her eyes once. 

when the nurse leaves, sklonda sighs and rubs her temples, and starts, "riz, you lost- you lost so much blood." 

riz can’t meet his mother’s eyes as shame pools in his gut, says quietly, "i- not all of it was mine."

sklonda tenses, before continuing, "we figured that out when you showed up again, but riz, it was." and her eyes well up as her voice breaks, "if it had been, there was no way- you couldn't have survived it."

riz's brows furrow in confusion, as he prompts, “but it wasn't." 

and sklonda retorts with a frustrated hand gesture, "yes, well the idiots in the bastion city precinct didn't know that, riz." and pauses to make sure he's looking her in the eyes as she continues, "you were legally dead riz. for a week."

and riz's eyes widen as he takes in the information, "what- that's stupid. i was alive. didn't anyone do any divination spells? or locator spells? or, actually, fuck-” riz takes a quick breath as some machine next to him starts beeping, “i um. warded myself against divination and locator spells, but i think dead is a little bit of an overreaction! how does this happen?!" 

sklonda raises her voice, “calm down-” before taking a glance at the steadily rising heart rate monitor, and says in a low tone, “what's done is done, and the important thing is that you're alive."

riz does not calm down, his voice raising pitch slowly, "everyone thought i was dead? everyone?"

sklonda nods her head slowly, says, "we were about halfway through your will, which, by the way, how the fuck did you, a fifteen-year-old boy, get a will notarized without letting me know about it? do you want to explain that?"

riz's eyes are as wide as saucers as he says, "wait wait wait. my will? halfway- how much of my will?"

sklonda furrows her brows for a millisecond in confusion before a revelation washes over her face and incredulous anger sets in, 

"riz gukgak. you were legally dead for a week and that is what you're worried about? YOU LOST THREE PERCENT OF YOUR BODY WEIGHT IN BLOOD!"

and she takes a step back, takes a deep breath, and says, before riz can respond, "i am going to get myself another coffee, and you some ice chips. and you are banned from “deep cover” for- for till college!" 

and riz tries to sit up, but his stitches pull too painfully to ignore, so he cranes his neck to see out of the room as he shouts after her, "like in icarly?!"

sklonda shouts back, “stop pulling your stitches!” before disappearing out of sight. 

riz waits there for a couple of moments spiraling, maybe he got the old letter, fuck, did i remember to switch them out? habit of forgetting things integral to my wellbeing, please don’t fail me now, i promise i will never say anything bad about you again- maybe they didn’t even get through all of them? or maybe he got it but he didn’t open it? was going to save it for his wedding day or something like in that movie with julianne hough- before hearing tentative footsteps, and looks up to see fabian in the doorway, head down, wringing his hands. 

riz is suddenly acutely aware that he hasn’t talked to fabian (besides the brief exchange earlier) in almost a month, which would make it the longest he’s gone without talking to fabian since they met. even in those long and lonely weeks in jail, they found quiet ways to communicate. notes passed daisy chain style, the odd few messages by way of fig or adaine whenever both of their cell doors opened enough to let magic in. 

riz opens his mouth to say something, act like a normal fucking person, but- 

he can't.

and thankfully, fabian does, clears his throat and says, so quiet that riz might not be able to hear it if he weren't a goblin, "i got your letter."

fuck.

riz winces and looks down at his lap, the green of his hands contrasting with the pale blue hospital gown patterned with tiny dark blue polka dots. 

he holds his tongue as he thinks about what to say before finally responding, "you um.” so much for thinking about what to say, he thinks as he levels his gaze at fabian yet again, “i wrote two. i had to rewrite yours, for- reasons. which one?"

fabian takes a step into the room, pauses a moment, then closes the door behind him. fabian’s movements are slow and hesitant like he’s trying not to make any loud or sudden noises. he still won't meet riz's eyes. riz gets the sinking feeling that he knows what letter fabian read. 

fabian confirms it anyway, "the one where you said-" 

and that’s all riz needs to interrupt, his voice painfully high pitched at this point, "we don't have to talk about that. it- it was a contingency plan, just in case, you know, and we can just move past it." 

riz gives a smile that begs fabian to not notice his face is lime green right now. and then as a further misdirect, he adds, "you never told me what happened to your hands."

fabian finally meets riz's eyes, and his expression is. god, riz is so bad at reading faces, and he’d count fabian’s as his top three most readable faces, on the sheer amount he looks at it alone. he’s. confused? hurt? but that can't be true, why would fabian feel hurt? maybe he's mad riz took advantage of their friendship? but fabian denies that there's a friendship to betray at every turn-

his train of thought gets interrupted by fabian's next words, breathy with a hint of annoyance maybe, "i- my sword. burned my hands. when i made my pact." 

and riz's eyes widen even more as horror and panic sets it, what the fuck did fabian do-

"your WHAT?"

fabian winces at riz's gravelly voice, which cracks halfway through so it can't be very intimidating, before saying, "riz, it's not important, if we could just please talk about the letter-" 

riz interrupts him again, "i don't think my feelings for you matter as much as you selling your soul, fabian, why would you do that, oh my fucking gods-"

and fabian raises his voice for the first time, a hint of darkness and desperation riz hasn't ever heard before in his voice, "you were dead riz."

and riz quiets down, shakes his head from side to side a minuscule amount, before saying so quietly it could almost be a whisper, "what does that have to do with anything?"

fabian gets a look on his face that riz couldn't parse in a million years, his lips the smallest bit parted and his head shaking in mirror to riz’s. disagreement? confusion? riz can’t figure it out. 

fabian’s steps echo on the linoleum as he crosses the distance from the door to the side of riz’s bed. riz looks up at him, so much taller normally and even more imposing now, and he doesn’t know how fabian clocks it, but he does, leans down so he’s on his knees and he and riz are at eye level.

it's dizzying, to have fabian's full attention like this. he almost opens his mouth to question what are you doing? but can’t bring himself to break the magnetism of the moment. 

fabian’s gaze bores into his, and he says again, so softly riz thinks for a second that he wasn’t meant to hear it, and so broken that riz never wants to hear it again,

"riz. you were dead."

and for a beat, they just stare at each other.

fabian, slowly, slowly, reaches his hand to envelop riz’s, and it feels familiar. he can’t remember any other time fabian has held his hand, so that has to mean-

riz gets these feelings sometimes, little thorns of hope that dig their way in and whisper, what if- that inevitably disappoint when fabian crushes them underfoot. riz waits for the inevitable. 

the inevitable doesn’t happen. 

fabian leans in the slightest bit so that their foreheads are touching. so close that riz's breath hitches and fabian must feel it. and fabian has tears running down his face, riz doesn’t know how he missed fabian starting to cry, but he is, and fabian swallows a lump in his throat before saying in a pleading tone, 

"riz”

riz realizes that fabian hasn't called him the ball since he came in the room. 

so he says back, those thorns crawling their way into his voice, hope, bloody and raw, 

"yeah?"

fabian swallows again, and then, small and wavering, asks, "would you tell me again?"

and riz squeezes fabian's hand, involuntary, says, a tiny bit breathless,

"that i'm in love with you?"

and fabian nods imperceptibly, forehead still pressed against riz's.

so riz, with the conviction of a dead man, answers, "i'm in love with you."

and fabian inhales, sharply, before saying, "me too."

and then fabian kisses him.

and this isn't like the movies either, the tile is probably hard on fabian's knees, and riz has to crane his head to the side in his half laying down position, but fabian's mouth is warm and he tastes like coffee with so much sugar that it can't be called coffee anymore, and his hand that's not holding riz's comes to rest on the back of riz's neck, fingers threading into riz's curls. 

riz pulls away, takes a deep breath, and says, "you mean that you're in love with me, and not that you're in love with yourself right?" 

and fabian's face spreads into a smile and he laughs like sunlight that riz has barely seen in weeks, answers, "i'm in love with you, riz."

riz's voice is breathy and higher pitched than he would like as he says back, "cool cool cool. would you kiss me again?"

but as fabian goes to lean in again, he hears a voice from the doorway, the same nurse that took his vitals previously, 

"he most certainly will not. your heart rate is way too fast for the amount of blood you lost young man."

sklonda is behind her, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. 

fabian goes to back away with his arms up in a surrender motion, but at the last second presses a kiss to riz's lime green cheek, before he backs away for real. 

riz is already missing his presence as he meets sklonda at the doorway, where he finally breaks eye contact with riz to look her in the eyes. she puts a hand on his back to gently push him out of the doorway and into the hallway outside.

she says, annoyed in that way that means she’s not really annoyed but amused, “go get adaine. she’s been waiting for her turn for ten minutes, and if she waits any longer i can’t say in good conscience that she won’t murder you, and then we’d have an actual death on our hands.”

and sklonda turns back to riz, raises her eyebrows. riz raises his back, and she walks across the room to press a kiss to the corner of his head. the nurse rolls her eyes, mutters something about adventurers, and shuts the door on them.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 2

Boggy the Froggy!

Welcome back, ya’ll! We jump back in with our Bad Kids (or 4/6 of them anyway) the very next day. Fabian sends Gilear out on a coffee run on the threat of bodily harm. His mom–who, if you remember is low-key a total badass–tells Fabian that if Gilear doesn’t come back from the quest alive, she’s going to duel him to the death on top of the house. Yikes. At Chez Thistlespring, Gorgug’s parents give him another very detailed sex talk and then remind him that he lives in a world where magic is very real so any and all dreams he remembers should be treated as omens. 

At the haunted house, Adaine wakes up having had portentous dreams like everyone else which is doubly concerning I have to imagine considering (1) she is the eleven oracle and (2) as a full elf she’s supposed to trance, not sleep and dream. Luckily for her nerves, she cast Find Familiar the night before and summoned an emotional support familiar which she gave the amazing name Bogariel Frogariel aka: Boggy the Froggy. 

Meanwhile (and I needed to switch paragraphs because Kristen is doing the D&D equivalent of playing Twister while everyone else is playing Checkers as she is wont to do) Kristen is talking to Tracker about changing Yes? again because she is filled with doubt about her god of doubt but the one thing she clearly doesn’t have doubt about is her relationship with Tracker because it’s been less than a year and she already sees wedding bells in their future. Wild. She also invites Tracker on the quest, rectifying what I thought was a wild oversight last week. 

Everyone meets up and they realize Fig and Riz are missing. They (specifically Fabian) can’t get Riz on the phone (which has never happened before) and all of Fig’s stuff is missing. They head over to Riz’s office to see if they can find him but, before that, Tracker cancels the church of Yes? because, sure. 

There are signs of a struggle at Riz’s office, but no blood. They find a picture of Riz’s super-spy dad (Pok) with his arm around someone who appears invisible to them (though the spot is circled in red). They also find claw marks going up to a mirror. Adaine stops Gorgug from touching the mirror which would have driven him insane and had him attack the group. She sees a twisted version of Riz in the mirror which no one else can see until she describes it (suspicious). Then, she dispels magic and the Riz appears in the room…and attacks them (roll for initiative baybee)!

Fabian is flipped the F out. Kristen decides to chill out and drink Riz’s coffee–much to the incredulousness of everyone else (she’s on those chill existential dread vibes). Adaine and Gorgug are stricken by fear but they’re able to snap out of it quickly. Once they’re sure it’s not Riz (the doppelganger is going full creepy horror movie monster with the head twisting and biting and junk), they start going full throttle but Kristen gets a clutch roll and lands a banishment on Nightmare Riz (who was invisible at the time). Also, Adaine finds a gun but no one is down with her packing heat without proper firearms training so she reluctantly puts it back. They confer with Sandra-Lynn and they find out Fig has, for some reason, gone to Bastion City (the capital) and Gorthalax is missing. Also, because Emily is Emily whether she’s present or not, they find out that Fig has decided to multiclass and she is now a bard/warlock with her demon dad as her patron. Those might be connected because, as her patron, Gorthalax can now find Fig at all times.  

Sklonda, in the meantime, has been investigating a robbery at the mall. They end up there too because Gilear (who is back from his coffee run) said he saw Fig’s bus in the area. They tell Ragh to meet them there and then head over (Gorgug in the old family car which he buys from them for 30 gold (the cost of a pony)–the amount Adaine suggests after the Thistlesprings reject his insane offer of 1000 gold). Also, Kristen leaves her brothers some gold secretly which is sad and also I think not the best way to handle that, but the intention is good. The robbery was of a gem–non-magical I believe–called the Devil’s Heart. [Edit: And apparently Fig’s doing.] Fabian shows up, tries to be helpful, and then eats glass. Normal stuff. 

The group tries to figure out what’s going on with Fig by calling the hotel she’s at and basically doing a straight improv comedy routine, each passing the phone around with a bad story until Adaine just hangs the phone up. Then, they find out from Sklonda that Pok’s partner is a tabaxi (cat person) named Kalina and she is in the empty space in the photo. Sklonda and Sandra-Lynn can see it even though the Bad Kids can’t. 

With that information gathered, the group leaves Elmville for the first time on the way to the Hotel Cavalier in Bastion City and, hopefully, Fig. 

Detention

Fabian for Intern Abuse

Poor Gilear. Fabian solicits increasingly complicated coffee orders from his friends to make Gilear’s job harder and tries to get them to threaten Gilear on their behalf. Even Sandra-Lynn was like, bro. Lay off the guy. Bad form, sir. (Hilarious, but bad). 

Honor Roll

Adaine for Rocking Her Portent Rolls

Adaine had a 19 and a 4 for her portent rolls this session and she used them very judiciously. The first was her 19 which she gave to Gorgug who was about to fail his saving throw and touch the mirror which would have led to him attacking everyone (she has a vision of his beheading her in a rage–sidenote love that Brennan makes her portent rolls actual visions instead of just having the mechanical effect of changing the roll happen). The second was a 4 which she gave to Brennan who was rolling for concentration on Nightmare Riz’s fear spell. What a power move to stare your DM in the face and say, “You roll a 4.” Amazing. Portent rolls are so good you guys. Also, bonus points for coming up with the name Bogariel Frogariel. 

Random Thoughts

Fabian’s response to his mom’s ultimatum that she will fight him if Gilear doesn’t return alive? “Damn, guess I have to fight my mom.”

“MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG.”

Brennan describes Boggy as just the most archetypal looking, round, squishy frog and I want a plush of his yesterday. Or a stress ball! It would go with his whole emotional support thing in game. I love that Siobhan picked not the potentially “useful” or “cool” animal. She went full Marie Kondo and was like, “What’s gonna spark some joy?” Boggy also can give her the help action, which is great!

The episode was great even 2 cast members down, but they were missed. On more than one occasion, I was like, “This is more quiet than usual. I wonder why–ah Emily.” We better get her reaction to Boggy as soon as she’s back.  

Kristen brings up the concept of patenting a god which is wild. We also get an answer to the question I had last week about Tracker’s cleric status–she still is a cleric of the moon goddess. The moon goddess is just chill with her followers not being exclusive. 

Fabian sans Riz is a hilarious mess. For anyone who likes them together as friends and/or romantically there was a lot of Content. Fabian being like, “Idk about Fig but something is def wrong with the Ball because he always answers on the first ring when I call  him.” Him canonically forgetting that he has a name other than The Ball (that’s the name in his phone, obv). And, the coup de grace, him investigating RIz’s office, but only for signs of his name. Him trying to Investigate like Riz, rolling a nat 1, and literally eating glass (“I thought I could taste fingerprints!”). 

“Coffee’s ordered, is the Ball dead?”

Adaine as everyone is clowning on Fabian for possibly making out with the Hangman: The Hangman is much more human than my bitch sister. 

Nightmare Riz, who they still think is actual Riz at this point, pops out of the mirror and Fabian and Adaine’s reactions respectively are, “You can’t do these things!” and, “It’s like 60% of our grade.”

The idea of Gorgug going from a terrified scream into a barbarian rage scream is very funny. Where are the animatics people?

Oh, speaking of people, Fantasy High was trending on tumblr the morning after this stream. Nice job, guys! 

The talk that Gorgug’s parents give him about all dreams being significant is something I always say in movies/books/shows like this. You have protagonists who *know* they live in a magic world and they have weird dreams and it’s not until 2/3rds of the way into the story that they’re like, “Wait. My dreams…mean something?” Bitch, what?

Gorgug’s initial coffee order is Hot Chocolate with a shot of decaf.

Everyone is very chill with Tracker coming onto the quest. Adaine just has one rule: No sex in the tent while they’re also in the tent. Kristen asks like she’s offended Adaine would feel the need to say that but like…come on. 

At first, I thought the invisibility in the photo was similar to the non-Adaine bad kids not being able to see Nightmare Riz until she described him but they still couldn’t see the woman in the photo after Sklonda described her so not sure what was going on with the mirror. 

I went back to the episode where Riz finds the photo of his dad (First Kisses and Last Words at around 1 hour, 27 mins in) and in that photo it’s of his dad and his mom. So either (1) it’s a different photo, (2) Brennan forgot/retconned something, or (3) something seriously screwy is going on. I will also note two observations here. Sklonda mentioned that Kalina doesn’t drink but was holding up her hand in a toast like she was drinking in the photo. That seems too specific a detail to not mean anything. And the second thing is, last ep, we did learn about a servant of the Nightmare King called the Shadow Cat and Kalina (if that is her real name) is a tabaxi so that’s something to think about. 

With all the complicated coffee orders flying around, Adaine just changes hers to a black coffee to try and make Gilear’s life a little easier (her original order was a Peppermint Mocha–sans the threat of violence to Gilear Fabian was offering). I do really love that Adaine seems genuinely concerned about the guy. SOMEONE should be. And it’s consistent with her characterization of just being generally well mannered and empathetic. 

Kristen getting the banishment on Nightmare Riz is something she did after Ally asked for it and Brennan was like, “lol, sure on a 19 or 20.” Boom. Rolled a 19. Just like in the prom fight. So the lesson here folks is don’t give your players a conditional yes and then expect the dice to bail you out. 

Kristen’s existential crisis is so crazy to me because she’s having, like, a prototypical Crisis of Faith™ (and pretty realistically) except, unlike in real life, she has certain knowledge about the existence of gods, life after death, and the means to communicate with those deities in the present day like…I feel like you’re crisis-ing wrong, girl. She’s crisis-ing like she just deconverted from Christianity when I feel like what actually happened is closer to, like, quitting a sorority or realizing you hate your major or changing political parties.  

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents homestuck helioism again

Ragh had a dream matching up with Gorgug’s (but he didn’t realize it was Gorgug in his dream) which means something and I’m sure we’ll figure out what soon enough. 

The Fabian eating glass scene is another one where you truly need to see it to understand how great it is. Lou is equally game to have Fabian be the coolest person who ever lived or a huge baby and Fabian running away crying because he has glass shards in his tongue is incredible. Hilariously, he runs into Ragh in the food court who has also eaten glass in the past (“Glass is literally invisible.”) and they bro bond over it so hard (“That’s my boy!”) that Tracker and Kristen are like…are they a thing?

The other crazy scene is the gang passing around the phone trying to convince the hotel receptionist to give them info about Fig. Kristen comes up with the name Teddy Guyger (and Zac and I at the same time are like, “Did you get the name Teddy because you have a teddy bear in your inventory rn?”). Fabian tries to drop his dad’s name. Their first move for some reason isn’t to give the phone to Gorgug who is also a part of the band. Adaine just hangs up the phone like Peppa Pig. Exquisite comic timing. 

“I cast bane on Gilear.”

I love the running joke of Adaine having visions throughout the day of her friends in the process of doing dumb BS.

Nightmare Riz going after Fabian’s good eye was big gross. Thanks Brennan, I hate it.  

I wonder if what’s going on with Fig is completely different than what’s going on with Riz. Just because they’re gone for the same reason irl, doesn’t mean they’re gone for the same reason in game. Nightmare Fig could be a fun fight though.

As someone whose fave thing in D&D is not combat, I thought the fight in this episode was great. Interesting concept, good chance for in-character reactions, not too long . 

Ragh upon meeting Tracker: Check it out: I’m gay. (Tracker: Tight.)

Fabian, who has known Cathilda his entire life: Do maids dream?

In this ep, Kristen and Adaine rolled 2 nat 20s each (Kristen rolled one for initiative also but it was lowered by her modifier), and Gorgug and Fabian each rolled 1. Fabian also rolled a nat 1 (which, again, led to him Eating Glass).  

[mattzerella-sticks]

Natural One (Fabian Seacaster/Riz Gukgak, 5.8k)

5 times Fabian rolled a natural one, and one time Riz rolled a nat 20

Fabian and Riz stand with their backs against each other - well, with Riz’s head pillowed by his lower back - surrounded by tiny gnomes baring their tools menacingly. Hammers and saws meant for building were slowly tearing them and their friends apart. One lucky swipe slashed his arm and earlier one of their attackers bashed Riz’s knee in. For tiny creatures they have a ginormous ruthlessness to them.

If they survive this, Fabian will bind Fig’s hands together with enchanted chains. So she can never again anger a room full of sleep-deprived mechanics by pressing the only button that would destroy their hard work.

“Why would you even make a button for that!” Fig screamed, swinging her guitar wildly, “It’s like hanging a piano with fraying rope. One way or another it was getting smashed!”

“Less pointing the finger and more apologizing !” Adaine said, tossing up a shield to block the flurry of screws pelting her.

Now while their friends handle the main engineer, Riz and Fabian stay with the stragglers.

“I never thought it would end like this,” Riz mutters, fingers twitching against his trigger, “After so many close calls… taken down by a bunch of gnomes hopped up on coffee and Adderall.”

“Don’t say that Riz,” Fabian says. He glances at the smaller boy, attempting a reassuring smile. “We’re adventurers. We have the final say on when we perish… and that day is certainly not today.”

Riz meets his stare, mirroring his expression. “Thanks, Fabian.” The words drift towards Fabian’s heart and wraps around it, squeezing. The uptick of his mouth feels more genuine. While he has confidence in his premier abilities and skills, Riz’s support is a special kind of blessing. A gift far greater than any Kristen’s terminally positive deity could give. His faith in Fabian is unshakeable, even when some of his actions and misadventures were questionable.

Why he never realized he loved the eager goblin sooner Fabian blames on tunnel vision. Too focused on aiming for precise points on the dartboard that he completely missed the bull’s-eye.

Once he realized where he should be firing, though, his aim faltered.

Fabian faced the encroaching gnomes, ready to fight. He crouches and leaps, twisting over the pack blocking him. Picturing how amazing he must look - twirling in the air, fluorescents flashing behind and casting him in a vengeful shadow, preparing to swing, slash, and drop his enemies.

Except he lands wrong. Foot sliding, Fabian falls to the floor. His sword flies elsewhere, wrung from his hands. The last thing he hears before succumbing to swirling darkness was Riz calling his name.

It doesn’t make him feel as warm as it did seconds earlier.

He comes to surrounded by the other Bad Kids. “It’s all smoothed over,” Gorgug says, “I managed to convince the boss that Fig blowing up their machine was a good thing.”

“Helped that he thought you were his son,” Fig chuckles, elbowing him in the ribs, “Seriously, who knew so many gnomes adopted orcish orphans? Apparently it’s really big in the gnomish community.”

Gorgug whines, “But he’s not my dad!”

“Honestly?” Kristen says, leaning on her staff, “It was a little touch and go there.”

Adaine nods, “I saw you mumbling to yourself. ‘No, it can’t be… three dads is too many’.”

“I got there in the end, that’s all that matters!”

Fabian sits up, waving his hands and cutting into their argument. “Wait a minute! It was that easy? But what about the other gnomes we were fighting?”

“They stopped pretty quickly after their boss offered them paid time off,” Riz tells him, “After you went down -”

“Which I took pictures of,” Fig adds, “very funny.”

“After you went down,” Riz repeats, “the gnomes closed in and were about to end me. But when the gang rushed in with the PTO forms they rushed home.”

“I can’t believe I got knocked out almost as the fight was over,” Fabian groans, “What did I even slip on?”

“Some loose nuts and bolts.”

Fabian slams his head into his knees, hoping the concussive blow could force him unconscious once more. “Please,” he says into his legs, “No one speak of this.”

“Too late,” Fig says, “I already texted it to the entire school.”

All he wanted was to impress Riz. He surely wouldn’t find a laughingstock that worthy of his affections.

The Hangman sped in as the group said their goodbyes, promises to meet up tomorrow and discuss their findings. Fabian couldn’t leave fast enough.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coach Gorthalax stressed how important this game was for the Owl Bears. Winning this meant that they would advance to regional championships, playing bloodrush against some of the top schools across the lands. And with their final competition being the boys from Hudol, there wasn’t any doubt they’d move forward.

“Even if their players are pale, nerdy weaklings, with so little muscle development they can barely hold up their books,” Gorthalax said during the huddle, “I don’t want you slacking. Being lazy now is just the thing that’ll give them an edge over us. If we all focus we’ll win and have a good time!”

“Yeah!” Ragh screamed, pounding his helmet against his chest, “Let’s go and mutilate the other team! Woo!”

“See, now that’s some great enthusiasm,” Gorthalax wags his clipboard at the orcish player, “I want to see that from all of you. Now let’s hear some hoot growls. Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl!”

“Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl!”

A stampede of cleats and warcries filled the pitch as Fabian and the other Owlbears stormed the field, startling the opposing team as they sipped at their tea. Watching a biscuit drop and crumble onto the grass made Fabian grin, an omen for how the game would play out.

Hudol didn’t stand a chance. The Owlbears played to their strengths. Fabian and Ragh never let them have the ball, and on the off chance they did Gorgug tackled them once they stepped foot near the goal. Height and long limbs had their advantage when guarding. Riz helped by confusing them, rolling up into a little ball and jumping into their arms. Sometimes a Hudol boy ran towards Gorgug only to find Riz in his arms smiling. Distracted, they never saw Gorgug until it was too late. They high-fived over the prone figure below them.

Halfway into the third quarter, though, Riz sat on the sidelines. Helmet off and chatting with Fig, their assistant coach and manager. He didn’t think a student could hold such a position, but one day during practice she came in with a whistle and two hats - ‘Ass Coach’ stitched onto one and ‘Womanager’ on the other.

“Is this allowed?” Gorgug asked, “What did Principal Aguefort say about this?”

“He liked my moxy and wanted to know if  I could be coach as well,” Fig said, smirking, “I told him thanks but assistant coach and manager were already enough. Then he did a bump of cocaine, offered me some, and hopped out of his office window.”

Riz arched a brow. “You didn’t take it did you?”

“What are you, a cop?” she huffed, rubbing her nose.

They were most likely discussing plays and maneuvers. Fig surprised him with her skills in both roles she took on. During practices she pushed them harder and further than even his mother during sword practice. Outside the field Fig kept their successes circulating in the school paper and once, for an overnight away game. booked them the nicest motel.

“I didn’t think the school had the budget for something this fancy,” Fabian said while waiting in one lobby with its own water feature. Gorthalax spoke with the lady behind the front desk while the others ran to their rooms.

“Oh it doesn’t,” Fig said, “That’s why I used Gilear’s credit card. Not like he’s spending money on anything other than yogurt.”

Caught up in the memory he doesn’t see the leg of  Hudol player until he’s tripping on it. The ball in his hands goes flying.

Luckily an Owlbear snatches it and powers through over to the Hudol goal. Fabian glares, shoving the boy who tripped him as he stood.

Ragh jogs over to him and slaps his shoulder. “Head in the game, Seacaster. Hoot Growl!”

“Yes, yes - Hoot Growl!” The teams move to set up for the next match after the Owlbears scored their latest goal. Fabian waits in the middle for the referee's whistle. Glancing over to the bench he sees Riz staring at him intently. Under such intense scrutiny forces a blush to settle on Fabian’s cheeks. Trying to will it away only causes him to miss the whistle and see Hudol steal their ball.

“Get it!” Gorthalax screams, “Get the ball!”

Fabian spins and chases the player, bulleting over. Leaping forward Fabian tackles the other boy and rolls with him until he’s crushed underfoot. Grabbing the ball back, he takes a moment to appreciate the cheers erupting from all around. The stands go crazy. He spots a sign held aloft by Adaine and Kristen, both girls stamping their feet in excitement. On the bench Fig is shouting at him, but he can’t notice over the pride glowing from Riz’s face.

He craves more of it. “This one’s for you, Riz,” he says, and charges towards the goal. Fabian slams the goalkeeper to the side and scores a point. Overcome with delicious victory, Fabian throws the ball and begins dancing.

Suddenly someone knocks him to the ground.

Ragh rages over him, teeth bared and drool leaking from his mouth. “You idiot,” he says, “you cost us a point!”

“What?”

Gorgug groans from his side. Craning his neck far enough, Fabian can see the taller boy hunched in on himself. Nursing his wound from the vicious attack he laid upon him.

“There goes our perfect game!” Ragh seethes, “You working against the Owlbears? Is it some kind of elf thing? Because if there’s one thing I don’t like it’s a traitor -”

“Get off of me!” Fabian says, shoving Ragh off of him. Standing he looks past his friend and notices the rest of the scene. His teammates glare at him, scowls hidden behind their helmets. The crowd flipped on him. They boo and taunt him, Adaine and Kristen hiding behind their hands. Gorthalax shakes his head while Fig breaks her clipboard with her knees and sets it aflame.

And Riz winces, as if the overwhelming embarrassment crushing Fabian was too painful to watch.

“Get it together,” Ragh shoves him, jogging over to the starting line, ��We have a game to win.”

Owlbears triumph over Hudol with a wide margin. However the celebrations are muted since it wasn’t the landslide they were expecting. The locker room was silent where Fabian changed. No one clapped him on the back or flicked a towel in his direction in good cheer. What he did receive were fumbled assurances from Gorgug - who brushed off his apologies, saying there was no need - and Riz’s attempted jokes.

All Fabian wanted to do was crawl into his bed and die.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fabian sits at Riz’s table confusedly following the red strings criss-crossing the corkboard in front of him. “Wait, how is the Daycare connected to the Pixie smuggling ring?”

Riz sighs, sipping at his coffee. “Okay, so the Pixies…” He launches into another explanation, Fabian doing his best to focus. But like before he stops listening and instead focuses on how Riz’s mouth moves to shape his words. The way his hands flit around and, at times, shake so much Riz nearly drops his coffee. And when he turns to point at his work Fabian’s eyes drop low to appreciate how his slacks cling to his tush.

“And the money from their operations gets funnelled from the Daycare and into these shell accounts,” Riz finishes, facing Fabian again, “Do you get it now?”

He doesn’t trust his voice, so he nods.

Riz smiles. “Good. Then that’s exactly how I’ll explain it to the others when we see them tomorrow.”

Fabian returns it, fiddling with his own mug. Like always they and their friends were wrapped up in some serious trouble. This time Kristen, in trying to set up a physical location for her Church of Yes?, accidentally rented out a space that used to hold illegal artifacts between trades. They discovered this when Gorgug picked one up and unleashed an army of gremlins that wrecked the barren floor. After beating them and destroying the orb Riz sent the evidence to his mother.

Hearing how it was stolen piqued their interest, and once again launched them on another adventure.

A few days of serious investigation later the group reconnected and went over their findings, Riz taking it down and setting the clues on the corkboard. The night dragged on and one after another their friends dropped. Gorgug left first, promising to meet them at school in the morning. After him Adaine said she needed her rest and invited Fig to join her and Kristen for a sleepover.

“Sure,” she said, “can we have a few brewskis and kick it before we hit the hay?”

“I don’t know,” Adain shrugged, “we can always ask Jawbone?”

“Sick!”

That was over an hour ago. Fabian felt the siren call of sleep singing to him, tempting him with the wondrous beauty of sleep. He fought against it as he did everything in life; clawing tooth and nail for what he wants. In this moment it’s to share the cramped kitchen with Riz and his cluttered corkboard.

Riz settles in the seat across from him, pouring another cup of coffee. “You want me to top you off?”

Fabian shakes his head, pushing his mug away. “I really shouldn’t. Too much and I might not be able to hold my sword without it shaking.”

“You get used to it,” Riz says, “Years of drinking this stuff allowed me to take into account the jitters for when I’m shooting my gun.”

“How early did you start drinking coffee?”

“Same as everyone else. Five?”

Fabian bites his lip, unwilling to shatter the illusion for his friend. Instead he glanced behind him at the corkboard again. “I must say, that sure is something…”

Riz follows his gaze. Smiling, he leans into the chair and takes a huge gulp of his drink. “We did a lot of good work. I know officers who can barely think past their patrols who wouldn’t have been able to do this.”

“I think the real credit goes to you,” Fabian says.

The other boy directs his smile at him. “You think so?” he asks, a small tint to his cheeks. Seeing him fluster brings a rush of warmth racing up Fabian’s chest, and he hopes a blush isn’t blooming across his own face.

Everyone knows how deeply Riz loves detective work. Aside from how he dresses and the never-ending supply of mystery novels he keeps in his briefcase, Riz also treats everyday matters like an investigation. Once a water fountain broke and, before the janitor could react, Riz canvassed the area with caution tape and began questioning witnesses for motives. During lunch he explained how, using deductive reasoning, Riz found the stolen item in his Rogue class and where his teacher hid it.

“That’s amazing!” Fig cheered, “Now do Porter! Find out exactly what evil schemes he’s working on!”

No matter what situation they were faced with Riz approached each mystery with a ferocious tenacity for finding the answers. Not willing to rest until every stone was uncovered and the truth was set free. Fabian cannot count the amount of times Riz’s quick thinking saved them or helped them see an important piece of evidence they missed earlier.

With the way Riz’s eyes sparkle under the flickering light bulb, Fabian wants to tell him how much he values and appreciates him.

Instead, what comes out is this. “No one else is as this obsessed with mysteries than you, The Ball.” Wincing, Fabian pinches his thigh in disappointment. Especially when Riz’s face falls.

“Oh…”

“That, I didn’t…” Fabian sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face, “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say at all.”

Riz tries to smooth his expressions, except Fabian can clearly see the lines marring his pretty face. “It’s late, I get it. Why don’t you turn in for the night?”

“Don’t you need my help?”

“It’s like what you said… I’m the only one obsessed enough to stay up this late. You don’t have to worry. I’ll crash on the couch if I need to.”

Fabian leaves, drained of any energy to stay and apologize. He shuffles over towards Riz’s room, closing the door behind him. Stepping over empty coffee mugs and sheaths of paper he stops at the smallish bed. Fabian strips off his jacket and jeans, folding them gently and leaving the pile on a clear space of floor. Then he curls up on the bed and wraps the wrinkled sheet around his shoulders.

There’s an ache in his chest where his heart is. Sleep won’t come until he’s finished lambasting himself for shoving his foot into his mouth. At least the smell from Riz’s pillow eases the blows, and gently cradles him as he drifts off into a dreamless sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting at his desk, Fabian thinks that he finally found a way to confess his feelings to Riz.

He got the idea from his mother after a particularly grueling day of training. Fabian laid on the lawn, gasping for breath and waiting as Cathilda prepares a protein shake for him. Hallariel stands beside him, checking her makeup using her sword’s reflective surface as a mirror. A few feet away, sitting on a lawn chair, was Gilear. His mother’s boyfriend played keep away with a seagull who wanted his yogurt.

Turning away from a remarkably hilarious sight, Fabian asked his mother, “How did father win your heart?”

Hallariel shrugged, “With his passionate lovemaking.”

“ Mama !”

“What? You asked me a question and I answered it. Did I do something wrong ?”

“No, I…” Fabian sighed, leaning up on his elbows, “I wanted to know if there was anything he did that might have made you… swoon . Something sweet and romantic. ”

Hallariel’s gaze darted away from her face to her son, smirking. “Does my darling boy fancy a girl?”

“Mama…” Fabian ducked away, blushing, “it’s not a girl …”

“Even better,” she grinned, “now you won’t deal with the crushing disappointment when you realized she could never be as good as your mother.”

He rolled his eyes. “There’s no one who could be more perfect than you, mama,” he said, reaching forward to accept the shake from a returning Cathilda, “except maybe Cathilda. If you’re number one she’s definitely number two.”

“Bless your heart, you young thing,” Cathilda said, hand over her heart, “the sweetest you are.” She moves over to Halladriel, “What were you two discussing now?”

“Fabian wants to know if Bill ever did anything romantic,” Halladriel explains, “probably so he can use it for inspiration in winning over his little crush.”

“Oh! Why don’t you tell him about the letters?”

“Letters?” Fabian asked, “What letters?”

“The sweetest things they were,” Cathilda tells him, “your father, Bill Seacaster, would write these beautiful letters to your mother and send them whenever he was away for months on end. Whenever they arrived I’d always read them aloud as Haladriel drifted off to sleep.”

“Papa wrote you letters?” Fabian looked to Haladriel, “Why didn’t you remember this?”

She shrugged again. “Honestly I was toasted so much during my time with your father a lot of it is still a blur…”

Cathlida clapped, drawing their attention towards her again. “We still have them!” she said, “They’ve been put away, but I can dig them out for you if you’d like?”

“I would be delighted.”

Reading through the letters provided Fabian with a lot of details he didn’t need, learning that the beautiful prose was essentially foreplay for his parents. Imagining Cathilda read about his father’s length forced him to pause and spend the next few minutes hovering near the toilet. When he recovered Fabian focused on finding the little bits that weren’t explicit. Where his father compared his mother to the beauty of the sea or explaining how his newly earned riches would look better once locked away with his most valued treasure - his family.

While a letter was deemed gauche by today’s standards, Fabian found the practice intimate. Halfway through composing his own letter, though, he was hit with the worry that his letter wouldn’t arrive. Maybe on the way to his apartment it would be lost or damaged. Perhaps someone other than Riz opens it up? Squanda, to check and make sure the letter wasn’t a bomb. Fabian wouldn’t be surprised if Fig stole Riz’s mail that day and read his feelings, only to then tell Riz and butchering his meaning.

He succumbed to the anxiety and decided on a more direct approach. Fabian transferred his writings to his phone, finishing the letter there to send through text.

Re-reading it for the third time, Fabian realizes he needs to send it.

Fabian copies the text and switches from his notes app over to the messages. Working quickly while the courage of his father swims through his blood Fabian clicks on Riz and his messages. He pastes the text and sends it, slamming his crystal onto the desk face down.

Staring at it won’t make Riz respond faster, yet he cannot pull himself away. Each minute ticks by slowly the longer his crystal stays silent. Allowing for horrible images to flash across Fabian’s mind. Like Riz laughing and sending the letter to their friends, a highly impossible outcome. But the one where Riz spends time crafting the kindest rejection is unfortunately a sound possibility.

Suddenly his crystal flashes to life. Fabian snatches it with terrifying speed, opening the newest message.

It isn’t Riz.

Aelwen cooly thanks him for his devotion, offering him a night of passion if he’s willing to make the journey. Scrolling upwards he sees all the words that poured from his heart - sent to the wrong person.

He hadn’t talked to Aelwen since his disastrous attempt to free her. Fabian managed to follow through on his promise and fought for her freedom alongside the ragtag crew he gathered for the mission. Dodging spells and powering through guards, Fabian rode the Hangman and crashed through her cell. Then, after a kiss filled with searching hands and tongue, he helped her onto his motorcycle and fled to his ship.

Halfway across the Celestine Sea, Aelwen showed her true colors. Fabian found her preparing a dinghy for leave one starless night. He asked her where she was going.

“I’m leaving,” she said, “Is that not obvious?”

“But… but why?” Fabian asked, gut screaming as if stabbed. “We’re almost to Solace. And there we can be together… I - I thought…”

“You thought what?” Aelwen snickered, “You thought that I’d go with you because you freed me? Sorry to break it to you but I don’t slum it with trash, even if they’re somewhat cute and entertaining as you.”

Vision spinning, he staggered backwards. “W-what?”

“Thank you for all your help,” she said, untying the last rope, “But I must return to Fallinel. A friend offered me a room at her estate when I was free and I’ve kept her waiting long enough.” Hopping into the dinghy, Aelwen winked at him one last time. “Do tell my sister one thing for me? Even though she’s now an oracle she still can’t see what a colossal disappointment she is to the Abernant name. Farewell!”

The rope slips from her hands and she drops into the ocean, nothing left but the splash on her exit. Fabian doesn’t run to see her off, rooted to the deck as the pieces of his heart spear through his boots. When he collects them, Fabian shuffles towards his cabin and hides them until they reach shore.

His reception wasn’t well received. Adaine screamed at him until her voice was hoarse, pounding against his chest until she slumped over and was led away by Kristen. Fig and Gorgug didn’t say anything but kept their distance for the next few weeks. Only Riz stuck by his side.

The other boy sat with him after everyone left, understanding that Fabian had to go and see Aelwen. “Once you make up your mind about something,” Riz chuckled, “it’s hard getting you to change it.”

Riz’s words held no judgement. Even as Fabian confessed everything, including how Aelwen used and left him; he asked how that made him feel and hugged him through the rolling wave of depression that swelled inside.

Things returned to normal after a while. Adaine forgave him, and their group drifted together again. Except it wasn’t the same.

During the days Fabian and Riz were left alone he finally began to take notice of how special and important the goblin boy was to him.

So seeing how disastrously he messed up something as easy as a text, sending it to the worst person imaginable, turns his hopes into ash.

Fabian deletes the messages and leaves his phone on silent.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s now or never.

Fabian needs to take a leap of faith and lead with action. His father would chastise him thoroughly for how he’s tiptoed across the whole ordeal. Inviting embarrassment by tiptoeing around Riz. When he should do first and apologize later - if at all.

The group sits huddled together in Basrar’s, enjoying some milkshakes. Ever since Adaine freed him from his curse, Basrar has branched out to include other items in his menu besides various ice creams. To varying levels of success. While his milkshakes were delicious Fabian suffered at the hands of his chicken nuggets.

But they’re not slurping them as vigorously as they usually do. Too worn out from fighting pirates all day at Seacaster Manor.

His crew from the Aelwen misadventure came calling for Fabian, demanding their pay. He should have seen this coming since, bereft of any common sense by the heartbreak, he gave them a map rumored to lead to the grandest treasures of all. Except he drew it up in less than five minutes and water-logged it with tears.

When they finally discovered the ruse the ship set course for their newest mission - robbing the accumulated riches of Bill Seacaster.

Pirates were no match, of course, for the combined efforts of his friends, his mother and housekeeper. “And Gilear,” Halladriel added, standing over the corpses of their enemies, “we couldn’t have done it without his help.”

He glared at the sad elf his mother rubbed against, her hands tugging at his jacket. They knew Gilear added nothing of value to the battle save for the accidentally flung yogurt that sabotaged the cannon firing at them. Halladriel wouldn’t hear reason and began undressing Gilear in front of them.

“Best to run along, children,” Cathilda ushered them away, “Who knows how long they’ll be at it.”

Kristen swallowed her vomit. “Gross.”

“It’s not gross,” Fig defended her second father, “it’s good for him.”

“Well it’s awful for me,” Fabian hissed, “let’s go before we hear anything.”

“Oh!” Halladriel cried from a distance, a cold chill shooting up his spine, “You taste so sweet! What is that flavor?”

“Nothing too adventurous… just a simple vanilla mango yogurt…”

Fabian led them away with blinding speed. They decided on Basrar’s thirty minutes into their wandering, too sore to stay upright for long. Sliding into the booth the group ordered and enjoyed the calm environment. For once the group rested quietly, enjoying the silence.

It was so peaceful Fabian could think clearly for the first time in a while. An epiphany floated down from above and entered his spirit, imbuing it with strength.

Riz rests against his shoulder, skin tingling under his shirt and jacket. The smaller boy was injured pretty badly during the fight. Kristen’s healing only helped so much and Riz looks seconds away from sleeping. Kept awake only by the gentle shakes from Fabian every so often.

He wants to do this before sleep lulls him away, so Fabian softly whispers Riz’s name. Riz glances at him, frowning. “Yeah?”

“Riz, I…” A voice that sounds like his father cuts through his mind, telling him to stow his words. Show the other boy what he feels and steal a kiss. Cooling his nerves, Fabian leans down to do that. To capture Riz’s lips with his own.

But then something cold drips onto his nose.

“What’s th-” A blob slams into Fabian’s face and knocks him backwards, falling onto the floor. He curses and wipes the mess clear. Investigating what hit him, Fabian finds the culprit was a stray scoop of ice cream.

“Oh my God!” Fig screams, “it’s raining ice cream!”

Ice cream pelts their station, inspiring different reactions from the group. Unlike Fabian they cheered at the surprise dessert storm.

“How is this possible?” Adaine asked, chocolate ice cream melting on her head, “Our wish was already fulfilled?”

Basrar drifts over, smiling. “That is true, yes. However, I received a call from a man named Gilear asking that I serve you kids a treat so you would stay far from the Seacaster manor a bit while longer. He asked me if I could conjure some yogurt, but I told him that my magic does not create something so... sad . So then he asked if I could give you all frozen yogurt, which I could only assume was a strange way of saying ice cream!”

“Are you kidding me!” Fabian growls aloud, “How did Gilear even find out where we were?”

“I texted him,” Fig says, scooping ice cream off of Kristen’s shoulder. “Figured he’d want to know where we were in case more pirates came back.”

He groans as more ice cream pelts his prone body. Squinting one eye open Fabian sees all his friends save Riz enjoying the treat. Riz smiles down at him, fondness shining in his eyes. Fabian flushes, turning away from the stare.

Shoes squish onto the ice cream as Riz jumps out of his seat. He offers a hand to Fabian, “Need some help?”

Fabian answers by weakly taking Riz’s hand, pushing forward.

Instead of standing Riz tugs Fabian closer to him and slips an arm around his waist. Riz kisses Fabian, surprising him and earning catcalls from their friends. He ends their embrace, still smiling.

Fabian cannot wipe the shock from his expression. “Did you-?”

“Do what you should have done from the start?” Riz chuckles, “Yeah. Did you like it?”

“Did I like it -?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lou slams his fist on the table. “This is some bullshit,” he says, “How is it that I’ve spent countless games rolling nat 1’s trying to seduce you. And the first time you decide to flirt back you roll a nat 20. Bullshit!”

“I’m as surprised as you are,” Murph laughs along with the other intrepid heroes, “Usually my rolls are the crap ones.”

“Is that why you never helped out until now?”

Murph grins, winking. “Nah, I liked seeing how many times Fabian suffered.”

He scoffs, “You think that’s going to make me want to kiss you again?”

Brennan jumps into the conflict, shoulders shaking with contained laughter. “With a nat 20 Fabian and Riz begin making out in the storm of ice cream.”

“Oh come on!” Lou cries, “Fabian’s supposed to be the dashing hero! He had to make the first move! These dice are cursed.”

Emily shakes her head, cackling. “Could be worse. Riz could’ve rolled a nat 1 and we’d have to sit through another round of you trying and failingseduction rolls.”

“It’s not easy,” Lou argues, “Love to see you try and get a nat 20.”

“I so could,” she says, “you saw how hot and heavy me and Dr. Asha got. The next time we see him I’ll roll and ask him to marry him.” Brennan rolls some dice, drawing the group’s attention. He barks a quick laugh, looking to Emily. Her smile falls, “Uh oh, what?”

“All the commotion of raining ice cream and teens making out means the entire store is looking at your booth. Especially one seat at the bar where a dwarven doctor relaxed after a long shift at St. Owen’s Memorial Hospital,” Brennan explains, chewing on a chip he sneaked. “He walks over and, to Fig, asks, ‘Dr. Keller? Why are you hanging with these teens and not at home watching the kids?”

Lou erupts with laughter, leaning back in his seat and clapping. Emily scowls, grabbing for her dice. “What do I have to roll.”

“Let’s start with a deception.”

“Okay I’m good with deception…” She rolls, slapping her hand against the table. “I got a four. But that’ll be over a ten.”

“Say what you’re going to say.”

Emily clears her throat, shifting in her seat. “I needed a break from the kids and release the inner child in my heart with these… actual children?”

Brennan squints, head skewed to the side. “Dr. Asha is taken aback by that, slightly, but wants to believe in your relationship. ‘Did you at least get a babysitter’?”

“Yeah, yeah they’re fine…”

Lou turns to her. “So, are you gonna ask?”

“I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it…” Emily says, “So, Dr. Asha, I know we’ve been seeing each other, and we have kids… I think we should take this to the next level. I think we should get married.”

Brennan rolls another die. “Make a seduction roll, with disadvantage.”

“Fine.” Emily drops two dice on the table. Looking between the two, she screams and drops her head onto the table.

“What did you get?” Brennan asks.

Zac, at her side, uproariously laughs. “She rolled a twenty and a one.” They all hiss at the disastrous roll.

“A twenty,” Emily chuckles self-deprecatingly, “How can I split it this bad?”

Lou asks Brennan, “What happens?”

Brennan rolls a few more dice before smirking at Emily, doom curling his lips. “As you ask this Dr. Asha’s phone lights up with a call. He answers it, and the real Dr. Kelly speaks from the other end. Asking if he can bring home a pint of ice cream for the twins.”

“Oh, crap.”

“And,” the dice ominously tap against the table. “When he hangs up a couple enters Basrar’s - one elven ranger and the other a ginormous demon. It’s Sandralyn and Gorthalax!”

“Seriously?” Emily hisses, “How is this possible?”

“It’s possible because of the dice, baby,” Brennan says, “They see you and come over. Gorthalax starts up, ‘Fig! Oh, my lovely daughter, Fig. We didn’t know you’d be hear. Are you having fun? It’s so great to enjoy the days of youth before it’s all over. Being a high school student can truly be some of the best times of your life. Anyway, we won’t cramp your hang - get home at a reasonable time, though!’ They seat themselves far away, leaving a stunned Fig and Dr. Asha.”

Chin trembling, Emily asks, “Does he still accept my proposal?”

Brennan claps, laughing. “Dr. Asha leaves immediately.”

“Dammit!”

“See,” Lou says, “it’s not that easy.”

Emily rolls her eyes, “Just enjoy making out with my husband, okay?”

“I will!”