#I could take most muppets in a fight I think

[ninethirtynine-pm]

according to some friends I am little my

my friend group is a one to one with the main moomin characters, these are all actual conversations we’ve had

[mllersjoel]

you're obsessed

you're obsessed

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!actress!reader

Warnings: swearing, no use of y/n

Summary: jamie tartt fic where he has a huge crush on an actress and sees her at a richmond event and she flirts w him he’s really shy bc he likes her but they hook up after idk

Wordcount: 1.6k

A/N: didnt manage to write any smut bc this was getting way too long teehee :D general warnings for swearing.

writing comms are open!

“Oi, Tartt! Stop stalking your actress and give me some laps,” Roy yells, shaking Jamie from his reverie. Jamie is not stalking her instagram. He’s just not; because a stalker would have notifications on as they obsessively checked their profile at least four times every minute. Jamie is only checking once every five minutes, and he doesn’t even have her notifications on. So there. Suck it, Roy.

“Fine, don’t give yourself an aneurysm,” he mutters, taking a quick minute to stretch before he’s running around the pitch. He just has a crush. That’s all. A little one. He first saw you in some thriller that came out last month, and something about you had him hooked. Initially he thought it was just the character you played, a regular yet charming civilian, pulled into the crime world. After watching (admittedly, way too many) interviews, he realised it wasn’t the character. It was you.

You with your witty remarks and comments. The way you laughed good naturedly and poked fun at your costars. The way you were clumsy and scatterbrained, in a terribly endearing way.

It didn’t help that you were also gorgeous.

So, yeah. Jamie had a slight crush. It was fine, though, because you were currently based in Los Angeles (you were in a new Marvel movie) and had no plans of coming to the UK anytime soon. 

“She’s right fit, though,” Isaac says, nudging Jamie as he runs past. 

Jamie feels his stomach tighten with jealousy before he catches himself. Why was he jealous? He didn’t know you and you probably didn’t even know he existed. Well, maybe you did, because he was sexy and a hot football player. Did you even watch football? Would you watch it if you knew he was in it?

Jamie remembers hearing something about a parasocial relationship from Keeley and resolves to not think about you.

At least while he was training.

***

He’s spraying on cologne in the locker room when Keeley bursts in, all smiles and pep.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!”

“Is everything alright?” Ted asks, breaking away from Coach Beard who as far as Jamie could tell, hasn’t said anything but is managing to have a full conversation with Ted.

“You will not believe who I booked for this years’ Gala!”

Roy’s ears perk up at this as he slides into the conversation. “The Muppets?”

“No, Roy,” Keeley says, exasperated, “not the fucking Muppets. Only the hottest new actress on screen right now!”

At this point, all the boys have gathered around Keeley, jostling each other and trying to see the screen of her phone. Jamie fights his way to the front, and when his eyes focus on Keeley’s phone, he’s pretty sure his heart drops into his stomach.

It was you. There. With your smile and your eyes and your name and a headline.

You were coming to their Gala.

You.

He feels his heart drop into his stomach. This couldn’t be real. Maybe it was a mistype, or someone accidentally said they scheduled you but in reality you were on the other side of the globe. It was faked. It had to be.

He broke away from his team, practically running back to the changing rooms. Opening up your instagram, he pulled up your story. There, you had reposted the announcement.

Oh. Oh fuck.

***

On the day of the Gala, Jamie seriously considers hiring a stylist rather than just going with his gut. He needs to look good. Tonight is most probably one of the most important days of his life. His favourite actress, coming to his club’s Gala. Maybe, if he plays his cards right, you’ll bid on him.

Wait. Who was he kidding? He’s Jamie fucking Tartt. Of course you’ll bid on him. He could wear a trash bag and you’d bid on him, because he is just that fucking sexy.

Right?

He shoots a quick text to Keeley, desperate for a second opinion.

Me:

[image0.png]

thoughts? Xx

Keeley:

Ur hot babes!!

Gonna knock em dead xx

Lose the tie u look like a prick <3

He takes one last look in the mirror, running his hands through his hair. Yeah. He’s gonna show up and be so cool. He’s so cool.

***

They’re taking pictures on the carpet, and everyone can tell Jamie is not all there. He barely tells the paparazzi to take pictures of his good side, following it up with “And that’s any side.” His eyes keep darting around, every scream and shout of delight sending his stomach in knots in case you’re the one to step out of the limousine.

Maybe you just won’t show up. Maybe you were already inside.

He can’t decide which option is worse.

When he’s at the end of the carpet, about to head inside, he hears whistles and screams, different from the ones before. These sound a lot more excited, filled with more adrenaline and anticipation. Or maybe he’s just projecting. 

He turns, and sure enough, you’re there.

Stunning. That’s the only thing he can think of. You smile beautifully at the photographers, working the crowd with ease. It was as if you were friends, had a solid rapport with them with the way you were conversing back and forth.

“Close your mouth. You look like a fucking basking shark,” Roy says, elbowing Jamie in the stomach.

He flinches back, giving Roy a shove in return. “Oi, what was that for?”

“You’re not gonna make a good impression with you gawking like a fucking idiot. Go say hi or something. Be fucking normal.”

Jamie sends Roy an affronted look. “I am normal, you old bastard. Just because we don’t act like how you did in the 1800s doesn’t mean I’m being an idiot.”

Roy just growls, shoving past him into the building.

Jamie takes a step forward to follow when a voice catches his attention.

“Hey! You’re Jamie Tartt, right?”

He turns on instinct, a winning smile already plastered on his face. “I’ll do autographs once—you.”

You raise your eyebrows slightly, waiting for him to go on. “Once I what?”

“You’re, um, you’re her.” He says your name, almost reverently.

Your grin widens, almost giddy. “You know who I am?”

“I follow you—” before he could say more, your manager rushes in behind you, ushering you inside. You wince at him, apologetic, before heading inside.

Jamie stands there, dumbfounded. 

I follow you?  That’s what he had to say? Now he really does sound like a stalker. He scrubs his hand over his face, groaning in disappointment.

He’s gonna make it up to you. He has to.

***

Inside, he sees he’s sat with Ted and Roy as well as a few other people and an empty seat next to him. He largely ignores his own table, trying to catch sight of you and not succeeding in the slightest. He huffs a sigh of annoyance, sliding into his seat.

Ted notices his glum aura, nodding sagely. “It’s the oysters, isn’t it? Because I know they have to try to make the flavour appeal to everyone but adding this much lemon is just downright insultin’.”

“It’s not the oysters, coach.”

Ted frowns. “The placemats? I was never really an eggshell white person myself but—”

“Jamie’s pining over an actress he thinks I don’t see him stalk on insta when he’s supposed to be running drills,” Roy cuts in, tired of Ted’s guessing.

“I’m not pining,” Jamie pouts, crossing his arms in a decidedly not childish way.

Before Roy could get another rebuttal out, the seat next to him is being filled, and once again he sees you, smiling at him. “Actresses are overrated,” you say, placing your napkin over your lap, “trust me.”

Jamie’s blood runs cold, convinced the universe is playing a cruel trick on him. Running into you is an absolute dream, he’d never deny that, but running into you with both Ted and Roy there? He may as well be taken out back and shot.

He must’ve been sitting there agape for too long, because before he knows it, Ted is reaching a hand over and giving yours a shake.

“Ted Lasso, it’s a pleasure to meet ya’. I absolutely loved you in that thriller that came out last June. Had me on the edge of my couch! And I know Jamie here liked it as well, he was bawling a right mess by the end of it.”

You turn to look at Jamie, and having the full force of your attention on him made him nearly choke on air. “Were you really?”

Jamie licks his lips, trying to gain some composure. “Bawling is sayin’ a lot, really. More like a reasonable cry.”

You nod along, clearly not buying it. 

“I’ve been keeping up with your games this season. The goal you scored against West Ham the other day was seriously impressive. You were practically miles away from the net.”

Immediately, Jamie perked up. “You like football?”

“Well, I’m no expert, but I definitely try to watch all your games if I can.”

Jamie leans in, feeling bold and taking your hand in his. “Richmonds games? Or my games?”

You shrug. “Depends on the hair.”

He laughs, leaning back in his chair, body turned towards you. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.

[karlachismylife]

So I realized something. My forgetful ass forgot that I did in fact claim an emoji cause my brain just does that So just to let you know chronic pain anon here and I'm the hyacinth anon. Genuinely forgot, my bad. BUT WAIT I have a valid excuse though, my dog had puppies and they're VERY cute and take up ALL my headspace rn ily tho ty for being so cool lol

No worries love, I already added it to all your asks so you can find them easier just in case! hehehe glad to have you pretty <3

And also that's THE MOST VALID excuse, I wouldn't be able to think about anything even if you gave me one puppy. MANY PUPPIES? Brain.exe stopped working. Is it okay to ask for a picture? Totally only if you're fine with it!!

You're cool! And that's why you get task force 141 and puppies headcanons.

Price is the classic "dad said he didn't want a dog". He's already got three muppets and you to look after, he doesn't need puppies in his responsibilities too. So it's only becaue he doesn't want to have any complications that he gets them all the best care items, toys, food - also takes them (by himself, because he can only trust himself not to fuck this up) to the best vet to get all their shots and checkups. You could expect him to be strict and comply with nature's laws if there's one weaker puppy in the batch, but no, he's actually making everything he can to ensure this little fella gets enough food and doesn't get bullied by its siblings. And if you see Price snoring with the puppies climbing all over him or napping on his chest? You actually didn't see anything.

He also gets matching hats for all of them.

Ghost can't even pretend he doesn't wanna cry just from looking at these little buggers. They're just so small with their tiny tails and paws sliding from under their chubby bodies, and they are so fragile and precious, and he can fit two or maybe even three in his huge palm, warm, soft bodies that trust this scary man with their tiny puppy lives... yeah, no, he's actually red-eyed and sniffling, and he can't even pin it on allergy, because then, first of all, puppies will get taken away from him, and second, he's kinda sobbing and crying very obviously. They just unlock something in him, and all his outer shell cracks. He wants to hold them a lot, but he's also so very scared of harming them, he'll need your supervision just so that he doesn't fuck his own brain with ovethinking. Talks to the puppers quietly, with that brute care, and if you tell him not to teach puppies bad words, he'll actually try to avoid cussing around them.

Once they're old enough, he's picking some skull/skeleton themed collars and accessories for them.

Gaz did his research (as per usual), so he's actually extremely efficient and good when caring for puppies. No emergency is too scary for him, he's collected and confident, and they couldn't ask to be in better hands. If they need bottle feeding, he's sitting there with a very serious face on duty, but when he thinks no one's looking, he's actually making silly faces at them (yes, like with actual babies) and absolutely smitten by them. He's set on training them and teaching them tricks, but mostly just giving them enough to excersise their bodies and brains, so he'll give a lot of attention to each one of them to see what suits them the most.

He's also taking great care of the mama dog too. A true gentleman, he is!

Soap is fucking extatic as if he just got kids. He boasts about them at any given moment, has pictures on his phone, on his lockscreen, in his wallet, one tucked into his tactical vest (to remember what he's fighting for). He'll carry them around in those baby carriers, take them everywhere to "show them the world", including top shelves, fridge insides and neighbour's lawn. He's also forgetting everything except them, his ADHD ass locks in on the cuties so he can actually miss meals and shit (Soap! Missing meals! Unheard of.) because he's just stuck there, watching them wobble around and play. Absolutelty is their favourite playground, just lays down on the floor and lets them climb around.

Constantly has treats on him, but sometimes mixes them up with his own snacks and nibbles on those himself. He's grown quite fond of the chewy sticks though, maybe he should just buy a packet for him only...

[cristaq]

Og pricesoap fighting Shepherd here we go!

Soap sits at a table on the shore of Barcelona on a sunny day of early summer. The heat waves that usually dominate the Iberian Peninsula are a distant thing for now, with the sea breeze making its own contribution to the pleasant weather. Even though the view is stunning, his eyes are fixed on the man sitting across the table that skims through today’s news on the phone. Even though they’ve retired for a while now, Price still likes to keep up with the world. He wears the ugliest summer vacation shirt one could buy and yet Soap can’t take his eyes off his gorgeous man.

Price raises his eyes from the phone and smiles warmly, grabbing Soap’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. Soap snaps out of his trance and realises that Price is saying something.

“I need your help, love!”

Soap shakes his head, visibly confused. What did he just say?

“Get up soldier! Wake the fuck up!”

Soap’s eyes open for real this time and he gasps for air like he’s been submerged in water for too long. The pain is excruciating and his nerves waste no time to remind him that he has a knife stuck in his abdomen. Somewhere in the distance he can hear grunts and the sounds of a fight and it’s hard to make sense of all this sensorial overload. The sand burns beneath him, his vision is unfocused and…

“Get off me… son of a bitch!”

Price? Soap lifts his head just enough to see Shepherd over Price, beating him up. The fight has a clear winner, with Price struggling to keep his guard up and defend himself against the flurry of punches. And Soap can’t move a single muscle to help. Unless… his eyes settle on the knife poking out of him.

He grabs the handle of the knife and starts pulling. The pain sends him reeling and dark corners engulf his vision.

For Ghost…

He pulls harder and blood starts bursting out of the wound. HIs arms get ever weaker but he tries to stay silent and swallow his screams.

For Roach…

Price’s defence gets obliterated due to exhaustion. Shepherd is restless and keeps on hitting him.

For you, love…

Soap manages to fully pull out the knife but can’t keep his voice down anymore.  He shouts in pain when the blade leaves his body, making Shepherd turn around towards him.

Soap grabs the knife by the blade and aims for Shepherd’s head, or at least he tries to. His vision is blurry, his movements shaky but something inside his soul is desperate to stay alive and to save Price.

He swings his arm forward, keeping his wrist straight, and lets go of the knife.

For myself. See you in hell.

The knife connects with Shepherd’s eye and the impact throws his head backwards. He falls flat on the ground, right next to Price. Soap lets out a relieved sigh and rests his head back on the sand, his body capable of taking only so much. He screams for Price’s name but there is no response. Tears start forming behind his closed eyelids.

Now, where were we? Ah, Barcelona…

“Soap?! Stay with me, love! Come on, please, I beg you!”

Soap slips in and out of consciousness. Is that the sound of a helicopter or the waves?

“Nikolai! Help me out!”

Hmmm… definitely the waves.

“Stay with me, you muppet!”

The waiter brings two coffees to their table. Black for Soap and milk and sugar for Price. He always had a sweet tooth, not many people know that.

“I am getting you out, I swear.”

Price takes a sip of the coffee. “Good throw by the way. That was the most impressive stunt you’ve ever pulled.”

Soap laughs and squeezes back his lover’s hand. “Someone had to save your sorry ass.”

“I love you…”

“Think you can survive this? Live another day?”

Soap sips his own coffee. It has a strange, metallic taste.

“For you? Anything.”

[mangoguy]

Displacement (1/2)

John "Soap" McTavish(2009) x Reader x John "Soap" McTavish(2022)

Warnings: Mention of Modern Warfare 3 (2011), Some fluff, they/them used once other than that no pronouns are used.

You recall your relationship with your John while in the hospital.

Another entry For @glitterypirateduck Soap It Up challenge!

This was heavily inspired by the Multiverse AU by shotmrmiller. It's been on my mind for a while lol

"Right, what the hell kind of name is 'Soap', eh? How'd a muppet like you pass selection?"

You heard Price state, looking up from cleaning your gun you saw the new guy who was set to join. Fresh faced and ready for battle, you wondered how long that would last. You watched as he passed the C.Q.B with a pretty average time, but he passed nonetheless. After that Price quickly briefed the team on the mission, infiltrating and assaulting a cargo ship in the Bering Strait. He dismissed us to get ready, deciding you wanted to try and get to know the new guy. You walked over to him and fell into step with him. 

You remember it wasn’t hard to get him to open up, which was surprising, most of the guys here were not up for much conversion. After a while, you decided to ask the biggest question on your mind, you asked him about his hair. 

“Why did you decide on a mohawk?” You heard him huff.  

“Because it was cool…” He mumbled.

"I love ye, y'know that right?"

You could faintly hear Captain McTavish mumble those words under his breath but the sound of the helicopter made you wonder if you heard it at all. What affirmed that it was indeed said out loud was when he took his hand in yours, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand in a soothing gesture. Who he was comforting, you weren't sure, but you had an inkling it was to ground himself. 

You recall It was his first mission as captain and if he was nervous he sure as hell didn’t show it. But you knew him, he often sought some small physical contact as comfort when he was nervous. 

It's funny how you remember these things.

You also remember his first mission as captain went off without a hitch, of course, there were hiccups but like he promised nothing happened to you. It was oddly sweet in its own way, he knew you could take care of yourself but he often fretted sometimes (even if he didn't entirely show it).

Another moment you recall with John McTavish was when you two were outside. He was smoking and you were just keeping him company. It was a nice evening, a bit cold but nothing you couldn't handle. You two were talking about anything and everything as you two normally do. Then the topic of living together came up.

"Y'know... I've been thinking after all this is over we need to... do couples things" he chuckled.

"Oh yeah? Like what? I thought fighting in battlefields was good date material," you joked.

"Ah, that's gettin' old... we could get our own place," he suggested. 

"Get our own place? What are you suggesting?" You turned to look at him, he was already looking at you with a grin.

"Aye, I'm sayin' we should live together once this is all over and done with, I'm thinkin' out in the fields near a small town, just the two of us," he stubbed out his smoke before leaning against you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you closer. 

"Hm, that sounds wonderful... We could get a cat... maybe two so the other one wouldn't be lonely," you suggested, planting a kiss on his lips as you both thought about this fantasy. You'll never forget the way his cheeks turned a bit rosy after that. 

Though before house buying the one important thing on John's 'Couples things' list was getting married. Of course, you both talked extensively about it, making sure it was something you both were on the same page on. The ceremony wasn't anything special, just you, John, and a few friends and family to celebrate at John's Parents' house. It was a sweet time, filled with talking and laughing (Ghost and Roach were both raiding the snacks John's mom made). 

"Look at you, my little brother gettin' married! Never thought I see the day, thought you were married to the military life for a sec," John's sister teasingly bumped his shoulder. Though she was teasing, she seemed pretty proud and happy for him. 

"Aye, never thought I get so lucky, knew I wanted to marry them 6 months in but didn't want to scare them," John chuckled while wrapping an arm around your waist. You just rolled your eyes and nudged his rib, and he responded by pinching your hip before kissing your cheek.

But things didn't turn out like you both planned. Luck had to run out someday.

'I won't let anything happen to you,' rings in your head, he never failed to mention it before missions you both went on.

Is that why you were here?

You weren't sure how to explain it. One moment you were with John and Yuri, in that building, something went off and you woke up with someone looming over you.. before it all went black again.

You felt like you were in a different body, and you say that loosely since it still felt like you but a bit younger, less tense. You weakly opened your eyes, the blaring lights of the hospital flooding your vision. You groaned, wincing away for a moment before it felt safe to look again. The bed you were lying on was much softer than the ones back on base.

"Ah, you're awake," you saw a nurse to your left side checking your vitals, she gave you a reassuring smile.

"You were out for a while, almost two months! Had some bloke worried sick about you... Johnny, I think his name was," she started explaining. You never really heard people refer to John as Johnny but whatever at least you knew he was alive.

“Is he okay?” You rushed to ask.

“Yes he’s fine, was discharged a while ago, you were the one to take the most of the damage,” She paused to resume her work.

“Actually he should be coming back soon, doesn’t leave your side unless he needs the restroom, you definitely have a good one,” She chuckled.

Oh, thank god he was okay.

The nurse left you to rest after and you started mulling over what happened.

An explosion happened, you were falling alongside Yuri when it happened. But you couldn't remember much else.

You began to feel uneasy, like you lost a big part of yourself and yet you couldn't explain why. Which was weird considering the nurse just confirmed he was, in fact, relatively okay. While you were mulling it over some more you didn't hear the door opening and the sound of hurried footsteps rushing over to your bed.

"Yer awake!" 

You whipped your head up to see your husband, so grateful he was okay. You were almost ready to jump on him but you froze when your eyes finally landed on him. What looked like John, though he was a mildly younger version of him. He was a bit shorter than your John as well, along with sounding vastly different. 

That was definitely not your John.

He looked worried and relieved at you. Placing a hand on yours but also trying not to hover around you, you noticed a tattoo on his right arm, John didn’t have an arm tattoo. He decided to just sit down on the chair that was pushed near your hospital bed. Not knowing what to do you took your hand out of his and placed it on your stomach. 

That’s when you noticed your simple wedding band was gone.

Replaced with one that had a pearl and a few diamonds.

Whose ring was this?

You were confused and dare you say scared. Scared more than you ever have been in your life and that's saying a lot considering your line of work. But where exactly were you? 

"Yer looking at me like ye don't know me, Bonnie," the man broke the silence. 

But you didn't know him, you assumed this was the bloke the nurse mentioned.

Johnny. 

Wearing the face of your John.

Just what exactly happened?

Words: 1,347

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[nhl-stories]

Body and Mind– Trent Frederic

Summary: Trent is more than just a warm body, but he's not sure how to show Alyssa that

Author’s Note: I originally planned for this to be absolutely FILTHY, still some filth but I lost steam. Freddy is the most requested player I've had recently so hope this hit the spot for some of you, I didn't really know him before but love that he's this cute muppet-voiced boy who could also murder someone.

Word Count: 2.3k

Album Series Masterlist

Gettin' my hands dirty while I beat out the kinks

At first, he liked it.

How could he not? When it made him feel so invigorated, blood roaring in his ears like a sold-out crowd at TD Garden.

And it’s not like he hates in now. It’s sex, really good sex at that. But mostly he’s just tired.         

Is it too much to ask that Alyssa stays in bed long enough for the sweat to dry? Maybe even cuddle? Maybe talk in bed until they both fall asleep?

Maybe if it’s not too much bypass the sex entirely, watch a movie on the couch, eat a real meal together, leave his apartment.

But he’s too afraid to ask. Afraid he’ll lose her entirely if he brings it up that he wants more than the physical.

So instead, he compartmentalizes. Turns off his mind and lets his body enjoy.

///

Alyssa pushes her way into his place like a heat-seeking missile. Her lips are on his before he can really register her at all. She comes in this way most of the time; it still knocks the wind out of him every time.

“That fight was hot,” she runs a finger over the mostly healed cut on his nose.

Trent doesn’t have time to respond with words because she has a hand down his shorts before he can speak.

She moves kisses down his neck, he can feel his face flush even though his blood is racing in the opposite direction.

“I can’t believe I had to wait two days to do this,” she’s sinking to her knees, yanking his shorts down as she goes, her warm mouth enveloping him in one fluid motion.

“Fuck,” he grits out, he balls his fists to stop from yanking her hair so soon.

Of course, that’s not what she wants.

“Babe, fuck my face,” she says looking up at him, a look so innocent it would be believable if it weren’t for the way she kept stroking his shaft with expert precision.

Trent gingerly threads his fingers through her hair, thinking about asking if she wants to move so her knees won’t be on directly on the hardwood floor.

He doesn’t, because that’s not what she wants.

When he still doesn’t respond like she wants, Alyssa puts her hands over his and tightens his grip, pulls his hands to show him what she wants.

And maybe he should be proactive: tell her to get up so he can carry her to his room, so he can take his time, kiss her with passion instead viciousness, be gentle for once. But he’s weak, especially with her tongue sliding velvety around the head of his dick.

She takes him back into her mouth, a little deeper than before. He tightens he grip in her hair and feels her hum around him, egging him to do more. He gives a few shallow thrusts; she moans as she swallows him down.

“Lys, god,” tugging lightly

She pulls off a line of spit keeps her connected, he lets out a whimper.

“Seriously, really give it to me. I want it,” then she’s back to the task at hand.

He feels himself at the back of her throat and he can’t stop himself from thrusting forward. She gags, but keeps going, nose brushing up against his pelvis.

It’s enough for him to disconnect from his brain entirely, giving into what she wants.

He pulls her head back and forth, almost vindictively. Relishing the sloppy wet sounds and the occasional moan that rips from Alyssa’s throat. It doesn’t take long to send himself over the edge, letting her hair go just as he comes.

She pulls off, some of his come dripping down her chin, she uses a finger to catch it and swallow it down the with rest.

Her mascara is a little runny with tears, he thinks she doesn’t wear waterproof mascara for this exact effect.  She stays on her knees while she catches her breath, looking up to give him a dazed sort of smile.

“Fuck that was good,” her voice is gravelly and Trent thinks he could go again already.

He doesn’t need to say anything because Alyssa is already pulling off her shirt and going towards his bedroom.

///

“Can I order a pizza or is it a no cheat meal night?”

Alyssa is putting her hair up in a ponytail as she looks out the window. She only put her underwear back on and Trent feels a weird sense of domesticity in it, the fact that she’s so comfortable in his space.

“No, um go for it,” he blushes when she turns around and catches him staring, as if they hadn’t just had sex.

“Great, I’m starving,” she goes to retrieve her purse from where she tossed it by the front door.

As she breezes by, he sees the faint marks of his fingers around her neck.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she would have stayed some anonymous girl he hooked up with.

When they first met, Trent was just getting used to having casual sex. He always felt vaguely nauseous with no strings attached, he liked cuddling and kissing with no motives, but learned it didn’t make him a bad person to give into his carnal desires with no intentions of catching feelings.

Then he met Alyssa, who introduced him to rough sex. To pulling hair, to throwing a girl against a wall, or wrapping a hand around her throat. When she first asked him to pull her hair harder, to come on her face, it felt so at odds with everything he had been taught about how to treat women.

Then he got the feeling of letting go, the rush of losing control for just a little bit, the mix of being wild and powerful was addicting. He didn’t know he could feel that way off the ice.

But in between rounds, when Trent cleaned her up with a warm washcloth, or ordered food to refuel, or put ice on the bruises she begged for him to give her, they got to know each other.

And now he wants both, the cuddles, the hair pulling, the kisses, everything.

Alyssa flops on the couch as she scrolls through her phone picking a pizza place. Trent flops down half on top of her, resting his head on her naked breasts. He plants a gentle kiss to her sternum; it’s one of the only times she lets him be soft, when they’re in the limbo between orgasms.

She runs her fingers through his hair as she types. Moving her nails down his neck before gently rubbing his back. He sinks into the sensation, taking a moment to imagine having this after a tough loss. Just two people enjoying each other, no sexual tension.

“How are your niece and nephews doing?” She asks because of course she remembers intimate details about his life even though she seems so blasé about everything outside of the bedroom.

But it gives him another chance to live in his fantasy world, gush about his family, ask Alyssa about hers. Sometimes he can pretend he’s getting his cake and eating it too.

///

It’s a stupid idea, but he’s trying to think positively, hope for the best.

He invites Alyssa to a game, and to go out with them afterwards if they win. She’s not sitting by any of the other partners as far as he knows, but he hopes being around them after a game might make her reconsider their relationship status. That meeting the group he spends most of his time with is a selling point for making a commitment.

He realizes how completely idiotic that thinking is about ten seconds in when Alyssa slips something into his pocket while hugging him congratulations.

He turns beet red trying to shove the black lacy panties deeper into his pockets before anyone else notices.

It doesn’t get better from there.

She leans into him in the corner of a booth and holds his hand. He has a moment of butterflies at the simple intimacy before Alyssa ruins it by moving his hand between her legs. She presses his fingers against her wet folds, like she wants to start the foreplay in front of most of his teammates.

It’s November, she shouldn’t even be wearing a mini-skirt with how cold it is.

“Freddy, you didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend!” Marchy makes smooching noise at the pair.

“We don’t put labels on it, I’m Alyssa,” she’s so casual as she reaches her free hand out to shake the captain’s hand, she lets Trent hand slide a little away, but keeps it high on her bare thigh.

Then she continues to charm the pants off all his teammates all while she subtly moves his fingers over her clit. Edging herself in under the table while casually joking around with his friends above the table.  

He should have known she had an exhibitionist streak.

He should have known when he got up for more drinks, she would follow him.

She pulls him away from the bar and drags him down a dim hallway, he’s expecting for her to ask for a quickie in the bathroom, instead she keeps pulling him out a back entrance into a dark alley.

“I want you to throw me up against this wall and fuck me,” she whispers in his ear before giving him a sharp bite on the hinge of his jaw.

There’s a flash of desire that heats up inside him at the request, but he looks around at the dingy, damp alleyway, towards the semi-busy sidewalk at the far end.

“Lys…” he already played a tough game, he doesn’t want to play anymore games tonight, “Anyone could walk out here and see us.”

She steps closer, palms him through his pants; despite his nerves he can’t hide how much she arouses him.

“Then make it quick,” her breath is hot on his face, “I’m already close from before.”

She kisses him softly before roughly biting his bottom lip. Something inside of him roars to life and he throws her up against the bricks, maybe too hard from the way Alyssa grunts but he doesn’t care.

“Atta boy,” she smirks.

He grips her arms harder, shoving her against the wall again. This time with more authority. Her smirk falls away and her mouth hangs open in awe as she looks up at him. He gives her a bruising kiss in response.

He moves his hands down her body before lifting her up, her legs automatically wrap around him, giving him enough leverage to keep her aloft while he opens up his pants and pushes into her. Alyssa gasps in shock, like she hadn’t actually expected him to actually follow through.

It only takes a couple strokes before he feels close, the thrilling fear of getting caught pumping adrenaline through him. He buries his face in Alyssa’s neck and groans as he let’s go.

His arms burn from exertion, after effects of the game earlier, as he lets her slide down the wall.

She tucks his used member back into his pants and zips him up.

She reaches in his pocket and pulls out her panties, slipping them back on in a dirty alley, while his come drips out of her.

“Wow babe, I honestly didn’t think you had it in you for kinky outdoors sex, it was hot.”

He preens a bit at the praise and pet name.

“We should do it again some time.”

And if she asks in the future, he’ll probably do it again, because he’s the weakest man in the world.

///

They had flown back home late the night before and it was optional skate today. After losing three straight, maybe he should want to put the extra work in, but all Trent wants to do is lay in the dark and do nothing.

So of course, that’s when Alyssa shows up unannounced.

She’s sticking her tongue down his throat rather than saying hello or asking how he’s doing.

Alyssa’s been a Bruins fan her whole life, he knows she watched the games. Saw him get high sticked by Trouba, saw them drop another game in a sequence of bad games.

“Aren’t you tired?” He pushes her away.

“We haven’t even done anything”

She moves back towards him but Trent takes a step back, worried if he forcefully makes her stop, it will only spurn her to want more.

“No Lys, aren’t you tired of always pushing and biting and fighting? Don’t you ever want someone to just be gentle with you?” It feels like there’s a rock lodge in his throat, he’s so tired of the aggression all the time.

Confusion crosses her face; Trent can’t quite read if the way she scrunches her brows is a good or bad. He doesn’t even know what kind of response he actually wants to hear at this point.

“No one’s…” her tone is of disbelief, like she’s trying to connect her brain with the rest of her body, make sense of everything she’s ever known, “no one’s ever asked me that.”

“Has anyone ever been gentle with you?”

“That’s not what people want me for.”

Trent’s heart breaks a little, he reaches out and grabs her hand. Alyssa flinches at the contact even though he’s never been so tender with her.

“I want that with you,” he squeezes her hand.

The tension is still taut in her body.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like the slapping and choking and spitting a lot more than I thought I would, but after… I want to hold you. And sometimes that’s all I want to do.”

He pulls her hand up to his lips, kissing it.

“I’d kiss you softly, and take my time with your whole body, and I don’t know, I just want something soft.”

Her eyes are so wide, when she finally looks up at him, the first time he actually believes she might be innocent.

“Show me.”

[dragonofeternal]

Hot take/unpopular opinion time?

While I understand the urge to give Legato something nice by having him be rescued by Vash instead of Knives and think there's some very cute art and thoughts out there...

That would not fix him and it would not make him happy.

Knives's "salvation" for Legato wasn't just an end to Legato's present suffering, it was the fact that he completed the work Legato could not, even left a sliver of life enough for Legato to take some vengeance of his own. He would NOT be content or happy just to be taken away from his suffering in a nonviolent way. Vash would saunter in, shoot to disable the people actively raping Legato, and whisk Legato away, forcing him to watch those bastards as they pick themselves up to keep living their lives. Their survival would needle at the back of his brain, bristle any time he saw something that reminded him of that time in his life.

And for all that I love Vash the Stampede, I don't think he could give Legato the kind of help he needed to survive and thrive again. Vash is kind of like a wildlife rehabilitator- he takes people out of crisis situations, helps the to soothe the hurt, but he doesn't try to get attached and he tends to quietly slip out once he feels like they've reached a space where they're stable and the danger is gone.

Vash doesn't give people answers, he asks people to look within and find them for themselves.

Except Legato had reached a point where he felt he *had* nothing left within. We see his eyes go dull, watch all hope leave them. And when he and Vash fight at the end of TriMax, we see Legato recognize that dull flatness in Vash's eyes too.

Vash cannot give Legato something he doesn't have.

Knives, on the other hand is FULL of GLORIOUS PURPOSE. Is it good purpose? Is it smart purpose? Is he doing anything other than flailing around like a muppet made of sharp objects and fear and anger most days? No! But it's a purpose and it MATTERS.

And it's a purpose he can share with Legato, who needs something to believe in, something to fill himself with again because he feels so fucking empty. With Knives, there's a ready answer for the yawning emptiness in Legato's soul.

I'm not sitting here going "becoming the number one Kool-aide drinker in the Cult of Knives was a good life choice for Legato Bluesummers" or anything like that, but I WILL say it's a choice that gave him the ability to keep going. It's a choice that makes him Legato Bluesummers and not someone else.

Because my other concern with Vash's attempts to impress morality on Legato is what I said at the very top: Legato is never going to forget or forgive the people who wronged him. He's not going to let go of wanting to kill and destroy and hurt. There is a trolley problem of one thousand three hundred and one lives versus Legato's singular personhood, and if he is monstrous to want vengeance, if he cannot be allowed to take vengeance, then the only answer is to flip the track from his persecutors to himself. It's a rather simple solution, when you don't feel like there's a reason to be alive.

(all manga caps are taken from @trigun-manga-overhaul)

[uneducated-author]

Something that's been interesting me a long time is the sword Solslevni? Sosevly?

So the sword was originally a human, with the ability to fuse a body and ability. Which means it's incredibly valuable in the hands of Aya, who has iterated that she is a normal girl without abilities, with nothing but her heart ("which is why I need help from the people of that world") and her determination to never turn away from justice. It gives her a level playing field.

(It could also potentially give her an ability. Personally, I like the idea of a normal girl helping to save the world, without having to develop superhero abilities. Aya has trained every day, has devoted herself to justice, is determined to be brave and never cowardly, and I think that should count as much as any ability.)

Bram also references the Holy Crest, meaning a sigil burned onto the hand of someone, who can then wield the sword. This is the second time he's been impaled on it. We aren't given many details on the first occasion, weirdly don't even see the sword, just know that he lost his fiefdom. He obviously cares about them enough that as a literal muppet he's begging for them to have ownership of their land.

But remember that flashback? 'Because I'm not interested in the World'? With a girl who looked exactly like Aya?

There are theories of reincarnation with that, of Aya being the soul of Bram's wife/daughter, but I don't think reincarnation fits super well? Bungou Stray Dogs treats death seriously. When someone dies they don't come back in anything other than a hallucination, and we don't get references to heaven or hell, just angels and demons. Even Fyodor, who is the most vocally religious speaks more about a god blessing his endeavours and respecting his efforts, not about his final reward or anything. Fukuchi recited Buddhist doctrines and philosophy, but they're more introspective than religious, on his own character and perception of flaws and sin.

(This is to my understanding, I'd love to hear anyone else's perspective on the matter as I am not Buddhist.)

What if Aya was a past wielder of the sword? Someone dear to Bram, who took out the sword after the owner before her died, or some other circumstances. Someone he cared about, and someone who saved him. Someone who utilised the sword to give herself the ability to send her soul further forward in time, to whenever Bram may need her.

Imagine Aya, with no memories or knowledge, but the vindication to protect people. Imagine her forever knowing that there is someone she has to defend. Imagine her with a dead mother and sister, but the knowledge that she has to train, has to be brave, has to fight.

Fukuchi may not be the only the Holy Crest, because years ago, someone loved Bram so dearly that she made sure there was a chance that should he ever be hurt again, she would be able to help him.

And imagine what Aya could do when she uses the Holy Crest to use the sword. Could she tear away Fukuchi's ability? Shred Brams vampirism? Give herself the power to save the world? Take away the power of the book?

Who knows? Every child wants to change the World, let's see what happens to a child who can.

[sinnabarmoth]

Safe Together

*I was thinking about the end of Season 4 and wanted a short fix it fic that just exuded warmth and safety and some levity. This is what happened. With some light Steddie in the mix.*

---

It had been a long day and what felt like an even longer night. They had defeated Vecna and by some miracle everyone had made it out with only some minor to moderate injuries. Nothing life threatening so any trips to the hospital were put on hold.

The entire team, Robin, Nancy, Steve, Eddie, Dustin, Lucas, Max and Erica sat in the van bandaging each other up in silence. There was no big celebration. Perhaps they would come to that later. Everything right now was just quiet as they breathed in the fact that they had made it out alive.

The most anyone spoke was Max telling everyone about El piggybacking into her possession and fighting off Vecna. Will, Johnathan, Mike, El, and their friend Argyle were on their way to Indiana. And no one had heard from Mrs.Byers.

The following days would be hard to get through. Jason was still out there causing panic in the streets and Eddie was still suspected of murder. But they were alive. They were alive and they had won yet again.

“Where do we go?” Dustin asked, “We can’t exactly let Eddie wander off on his own while we go home.”

“I don’t really wanna be away from anyone right now.” Max said. She was still shaking. “Can we...I don’t know. Stay at someone’s house? All of us?”

“We can go to my house.” Steve said. “My parents are still in France on vacation so the house is empty. Got plenty of space and no one will come looking for Eddie there.”

“Sounds good to me. Slumber party at Harrington’s.” Eddie winced as he sat forward. The bat bites probably hurt like a bitch.

They drove out to Steve’s house. He made a quick sweep of the house to double check that no one was there before ushering everyone inside. The moment they were in the house things became a little more lighthearted.

Everyone washed up and since no one wanted to be alone they dragged the mattresses from the bedrooms and the cushions off the couch to create a giant communal sleeping area in the living room.

Nancy, Dustin, and Erica were in the kitchen making whatever food they could find while Steve, Lucas, and Max set up the mattresses with pillows and blankets. Robin was rifling through the medicine cabinets for painkillers and Eddie was looking for movies or music or anything to keep them entertained and take their minds off of what they went through.

“Oh my god, Steve, why do you have zero snacks in this house?” Dustin groaned from the kitchen. “The most I can find are some stale crackers and those hard candies that every old person seems to own. What even are these?”

“Oh right, my dad hides the junk food so mom doesn’t yell at him about his cholesterol. Look in the far right back corner of the cabinet next to the sink.” Steve called back as he dropped another blanket onto the nest of cushions they had created. “If you go in the basement there’s another freezer where you can find ice cream and some frozen soft pretzels.”

“Oh thank god!” Dustin came back up with popcorn, cookies, chips, and even a few cups of pudding. He immediately went down to fetch the ice cream and pretzels. Nancy and Erica were at the stove making some instant mashed potatoes and frozen meatballs. It wasn’t much but it should fill everyone up.

“So,” Eddie came back with a few tapes in his hands. “We have our choice between Dumbo, Old Yeller, and Gone with the Wind. Harrington, why is it that the movies you own suck?”

“Cause, again, you guys are just going through the family stuff. I think I still have The Muppets Take Manhattan in my room. I haven’t returned it yet.”

“Muppets?” Robin looked at him. “You said your mom made you rent it.”

“Fine. You caught me! I like the Muppets. Sue me! I think we all could use something lighthearted after tonight!”

“Muppets it is.” Eddie walked off again. “I get to go snoop around Steve’s room!”

“What?” Steve blanched, “Oh hell no! Eddie! Eddie do not go in my room!”

For a man with abdominal wounds Eddie raced up the stairs with great speed. “Munson! I mean it!” Steve raced after him.

“What does he have up there that he doesn’t want anyone to see?” Max asked.

“His diary. Dirty underwear. Playgirls.” Robin shrugged. “That sort of thing.”

“Don’t you mean Playboys?” Lucas looked confused.

Robin went pale. “Ugh, right. Yes. I meant Playboys.” This was not going to be the way that everyone found out that Steve was into guys. That needed to be done in his own time.

“How do you know about Playboys, Lucas?” Max cocked her head at her...boyfriend? It was unclear if they were back together or not. Considering how much they kept near each other since leaving the Creele house the odds were looking good for a reconciliation.

“Ugh...hey, Nancy, you need help in the kitchen? I’m gonna come help you.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Max caught him by the collar.

There was a loud thump from upstairs and more pounding footsteps. Eddie came racing back down the steps with Steve on his heels. “He has an ewok plush!” Eddie held up the furry little toy. “Steve “The Hair” Harrington has an ewok plush!”

“Damn it Munson!” Steve tackled him and they landed in the living room. Everyone paused to watch the two young adult men with matching, fresh bat bite wounds, roll on the mattresses, fighting for a Star Wars toy.

Steve wrenched the toy out of Eddie’s hands and held it close to his chest. “Do not touch Gerald!” he shouted.

There was a long moment of heavy silence. The boys were breathing heavy and just staring at each other. Then, Eddie started laughing. Steve slumped and started laughing too. The laughter stretched through the house and hit everyone else. Soon everyone was doubled over laughing till they were red in the face.

Perhaps they had finally cracked. Maybe they were going mad. But damn if it just didn’t matter.

Everyone started gravitating towards each other, leaning on one another as they howled with laughter. Then slowly, the laughter grew louder and turned into wails. Everyone was now holding tight out of grief. Tears falling and heaving sobs.

All of the trauma, all of the horror they had seen and experienced. Not just today but, for some, three years now. It all came pouring out in this one moment where they knew they were safe.

Max especially couldn’t hold in the grief and guilt she had been feeling ever since Billy died. Lucas held her close, squeezing her tight.

The sobs quieted back into sniffling silence. Everyone wiped at their eyes and unclenched their hands from whoever they were holding. There was a deep breath and they all piled in together. They distributed the food and snacks as Steve put the vhs in the player.

The atmosphere eased and they let the horror and grief wander farther away as they watched the Muppets. By the time the movie ended most everyone had fallen asleep. Save Steve who was going around cleaning up wrappers and dirty plates and cups from the sleeping hub.

He set the dirty dishes in the sink and tossed the wrappers and boxes and bottles in the trash. He heard soft footsteps behind him and looked up to see Eddie tiptoeing around the others. He gingerly made his way over to the kitchen where Steve was.

“Hey man,” he whispered. “Need any help?”

“No. I got it.” Steve answered. “Why are you still up?”

“It’s been hard to sleep since...Chrissy.”

“I get it. I barely slept after the first time I saw the demogorgon. It takes time but you’ll find deep sleeps again.”

Eddie looked back at the others fast asleep in the living room. “It’s so messed up. All of this is fucked.”

“Yeah. But we gotta keep living or else what have we been fighting for this entire time?” Steve looked Eddie up and down still in his stained jeans and bloodied t-shirt. “You want some more comfortable clothes to sleep in? Everyone else already raided my wardrobe for clean clothes. There’s probably a pair of sweatpants still leftover somewhere.”

Eddie looked down at his soiled outfit and nodded. “Good call.”

Steve went back to his room and rifled through his drawers. He found a pair of pajama pants and a clean soft t-shirt that he tossed Eddie’s way. Eddie winced a little as he changed. It would take some time before those bites healed. Probably make for some sick scars though.

Neither of them were in a hurry to go back down to the others. They would not be sleeping for a while. So they remained in Steve’s room, sitting on the bed frame without a mattress and just talked. At first they were talking about all the messed up shit that had been happening since ‘83 and then the conversation shifted. They talked about school memories, funny stories, bad dates, and family drama.

Eddie hadn’t expected to relate to Steve so much and Steve could say the same. Turns out they had more in common then having kind of adopted Dustin as their little brother. There was even more they had in common that they didn’t talk about. Things that would take more time to come to terms with. More trust needing to be built to admit. And a great deal more of bravery needed to tell each other.

Yawns became heavier and Steve and Eddie returned to the living room. There was only a small space barely big enough for the both of them left amongst the pile of bodies. They nestled in, pulling one of the remaining blankets over them.

“Night Munson.” Steve mumbled as his eyes fell closed.

“Sweet dreams Harrington” Eddie yawned once more and followed him into a well deserved sleep.

Tomorrow would be a mess but tonight, tonight they were safe.

[heartsopenminds]

Con and Nathan, highlights #7

Q. Is there a specific role/character you’ve always wanted to play, or a genre you want to act in?

Con said he’d like to do more comedy cos he’s really fuckin’ funny, but also because it scares him. Nathan said this is going to sound like a joke, but he thinks there should be a biopic of Perez Hilton and he should play that role, because he’s fascinated by the lawlessness of the early internet and how that guy was able to get away with basically ruining people’s lives. Then Con was like, and if that were to be a muppet movie, it’d be you as Perez played by Miss Piggy.

Q. If you could take the premise of OFMD but base it in a different historical era or around different figures in history, what would you choose?

Con’s immediate answer was cowboys, which he then amended to cowboys or vampires. He said the show wouldn’t have to change that much for either, and Izzy could basically wear the same costume. He said those should be the only roles he plays going forward - comedy, cowboys and vampires. Nathan referred back to the last question and said something set in the early noughts would be great, not even necessarily about famous people but just exploring what was going on at that time.

Q. As you are both writers, who would you love to have directing your scripts?

Nathan said his favourite directors are Tamara Jenkins and Lorene Scafaria but then was like I’m pretty sure most of you won’t know who they are and that’s probably the worst answer I’ve ever given at a con. Con said he’s just worked with a director called Anthony Maras who was great – the way he said the surname sounded quite like Mraz, so Nathan was like, brother of Jason perhaps? You should definitely find out. Con added he really liked working with Andrew DeYoung (who directed OFMD S1 ep 10, S2 ep 3-5) and Nathan said he was the best, and a hearthrob too.

Closing

Con switched into a more serious tone and said before we finish I want to say something, if I can take the platform briefly.  it’s scary times guys. We are at our best when we’re fighting back. Fight back. Look to your community, support your community. We’ve been here before, we’ll be here again. Fight back.

 (cue huge applause from the audience and loads of people looking really moved by how much he clearly meant every word – total legend!)

[superdorkcat]

Assorted KH4 Predictions

Yozora shows up almost immediately after the fight with the Darkside, prompting Sora to run for the hills. He proceeds to avoid Yozora for at least the first half of the game, like that one meme of a floating guy chasing another guy down a hallway

To make up for the limited selection of Disney worlds, there are a number of sidequests related to Disney characters who have also ended up in Quadratum. I can see the Sanderson sisters being the antagonists of a side story arc - while they’re really popular Disney villains, Hocus Pocus likely won’t be made into a KH world anytime soon

Some of the cutscenes make offhand references to a “strange man dressed in red and black,” leading to the audience thinking that the game’s building up to a fight against Genesis (like how the bonus boss fight with Sephiroth in KH2 was heavily built up to). Then it turns out the real boss is Deadpool

Vanitas is in Quadratum since he was still in Sora’s heart at the time Sora got Thanos snapped there. He’s now stuck in the form of a Flood and is very grumpy about it

Sora runs into Vanitas while Strelitzia’s showing him around Quadratum and immediately makes it his mission to redeem his brother by resocializing him like a feral cat

The 14th life that Xehanort mentioned in Dark Road is revealed to be a Replica he stashed in Quadratum that managed to achieve sentience and develop a personality of his own like Xion did

Aside from being a Xehanort clone, Nort-14 is a normal city kid who has no idea who tf Sora is or why this random guy hates him so much

Vanitas tries to beat the shit out of him on sight

After spending some time as a Very Confused side character, Nort-14 gets roped into some Keyblade-related bullshit that serves as his, Vanitas, and Sora’s get along sweatshirt and leads to him joining the group

We finally get to find out what Demyx’s deal is!

Speaking of Demyx, he’s also in Quadratum and gradually grows into the role of Sora and co.’s goofy, incredibly irresponsible older brother figure

Either the Hundred Acre Wood returns as the side world (since Sora gets there by going into a book, he could theoretically still access it due to Quadratum being “the world of fiction”) or we get a side world based on the Muppets

Nomura finally gets his musical

Luxord is revealed to have been secretly working with Oswald the entire time in order to take down the Master of Masters

Also, since Quadratum is rendered in a realistic art style, that means that Oswald looks like a normal rabbit

Not counting the sidequests, a lot of the side content is just Sora and co. vibing in Quadratum

One of the Disney worlds is the Land of the Dead from Coco

Riku spends most of the game lost in the city, finally reuniting with Sora during the endgame only to find that his childhood friend is now besties with a sapient Unversed, a younger version of Xehanort, that weird guy he met in the Keyblade Graveyard that one time, and some random ginger girl

We get a couple of cutscenes showing what’s going on back in the regular KH reality, one of which is Lauriam searching for the other Dandelion Union leaders and Strelitzia in Twilight Town. He runs into Namine and the two awkwardly stare at each other while Kill Bill sirens blare overhead before Laurie just “nopes” out of there

Demyx’s relation to the Age of Fairytales isn’t brought up until relatively late in the game but not because Demyx is trying to avoid more work or anything. After thinking over Xemnas’s whole speech, Demyx just figured that Mansex was lying out his ass (like he always does) and doesn’t think to bring it up until it becomes relevant in the plot

Baldr is there to Cause Problems On Purpose, serving as a side antagonist like Maleficent and Pete in KH2. He serves as a parallel to each of the Quadratum kids - both him and Sora have special hearts that can easily connect to others, both him and Vanitas are the “dark half” to their lighter sibling, both him and Strelitzia struggled over insecurities that their older sibling didn’t have, and lots of fun can be had with Baldr interacting with Nort-14

[spiciestmarinara]

So, in a totally normal move, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a Chappell Roan episode of The Muppet Show might look like. This is assuming there is a continuation of the classic variety show format. While I don’t have a whole script written out, here’s what I got:

- Scooter does his usual opening lines with “Chappell Roan? 15 minutes to curtain, Miss. Roan” and we see a brief glimpse of whatever stunning outfit she has on. She thanks him and gets up to leave.

Since the guest star’s dressing room and Miss. Piggy’s dressing room are next to each other on the second floor backstage, both her and Miss. Piggy exit their rooms at the same time and are wearing the exact same outfit.

Miss. Piggy goes “Well, one of us has to change, hmph!” And the intro theme song sequence starts. (Bonus points if afterwards, Chappell does appear in a different outfit and Miss. Piggy is seen at least once more in the original- implying Chappell is the one who changed.)

(Sorry for the read more, I was proud of that first bit but I had a lot more ideas)

- I read someone posited that the episode long “story of the day” should be Miss. Piggy catching feelings for Chappell, but I have another plan for that story- what I do think would be funny is if Wanda of Wayne and Wanda makes a few remarks during the episode of how beautiful and talented the guest star is.

Wanda’s just recognizable enough as a C-List Muppet that it would be funny without it being the whole episode. And a quiet jab at comphet that Chappell herself has sung about, most notably in “Good Luck, Babe!”.

- I would love if the first musical number was Chappell with Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayham performing ‘Femininomenon’.

Both because I think it’s appropriate as the first track on her debut album and I just really want Animal to take the reigns on the ‘call and response’ segment and be like “Fem-in-in-omen-on! Fem-in-in-omen-on!”.

(Bonus points if Chappell is originally particularly addressing Janice like she does with her own band on stage, but of course Animal becomes the loudest participant).

- Now would be a good time to introduce the off-stage “story of the day”, which I thought would be about Gonzo.

Follow me for a minute, I picked Gonzo because of all the Muppets, he seems the most widely seen as a queer icon (maybe fighting for first place with Miss. Piggy) and one of the most popular characters in the show overall.

I would want him to approach Kermit asking what he can do for the show, but both Kermit and other characters backstage keep kind of brushing him off because ‘it doesn’t matter what he ends up doing, the crowd will just be happy to see him’.

This isn’t in a mean way, but all his friends have confidence in him and don’t want him to over think it, but on his side it starts to feel isolating because what other new things could he bring to a crowd that expect so much of him?

As usual, this storyline would be seen on and off between segments for the rest of the show.

- Now I absolutely want a couple short non-Chappell segments in there. An ‘At the Dance’ and Fozzie vs Statler and Waldorf, I don’t have a plan for everything.

BUT- I do have a vague plan for Pigs in Space. The Swinetrek hits some turbulence- Dr. Stangepork, reading a terminal, says something like “we are close to a star explosion which is somehow giving off a high number of polyphenols and sugars we normally only find in our dark colored grapes back on Earth!”

And Captain Link goes “That’s one Red Wine Supernova!”.

And that’s it that’s the one joke I had for this segment. We could also probably work ‘Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl’ if Chappell appears in this segment as like a sexy 60’s random alien warrior lady- keeping in theme for the Star Trek parody.

- I would want Chappell to sing one song that isn’t one of her own, I would purpose a recreation of Charles Aznavour’s ‘The Old Fashioned Way’ because I think a slower jazzy piece would really work for her and she could wear a beautiful ball gown and they could still do a big ballroom with other dancing muppets.

I also think Chappell would really like reigniting interest in Aznavour’s songs. While not queer himself, he was a human rights activist and an early supporter of the LGBT rights movements in the 1970’s.

- Finally going back to Gonzo, they would do the usual trope of the guest star finding the Muppet in Crisis sitting alone somewhere. She would ask him what’s wrong and and sit with him as he explained that he feels lost. Something like

“I used to just be a performance artist they’d reluctantly let on stage to fill a few minutes. Then when things exploded on me, I’d get a laugh, so that became my thing. Then all this popularity and the Muppets becoming just so big- I don’t know what I can do anymore. It feels like I can’t go back but I don’t know the way forward.”

And Chappell would completely understand, I purposely thought of this because of her public struggle with her skyrocketing fame and still wanting to be seen as an artist and as a person.

To conversation would culminate in Chappell singing a dressed down version of “California” that I think should be turned into a mashup with “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday”- Gonzo’s song from the original Muppet movie.

I’m not sure how to get out of this scene that will probably end the show, maybe Kermit coming out and telling Gonzo that the duet was great and everyone loved it, he and Chappell made something unique and beautiful out of their love for their art, the struggles that got them where they are, and the wistful desire to keep the old days close in their hearts.

If you made it this far in my super crazy ideas about a Chappell Roan muppet episode, thanks!

As a bonus, here’s my pitch for a Orville Peck episode:

Link Hogthrob dresses up like him and goes by “Orville Pork”.

[palettepainter]

Dr Teeth and/or Janice

Had another ask for Teeth so sticking them both together here! Once again may be spoilers to Muppets Mayhem so be wary if you haven’t seen the series 

Teeth:

-While gumbo is one of his families favourite dishes since Teeth originated in New Orleans, he also knows how to cook other dishes famous from his home town. Namely beignets and jambalaya. Teeth is more then happy to easy fast food and sushi, but for special occasions or holidays sometimes he’ll cook up a big meal for the rest of the band 

-When he gets drunk he trips over his own arms, a lot 

-Inspired by the show but his accent shined through when he’s especially nervous 

-Again, inspired by the show, back when the band first started and sometimes in the present day he has a bad habit of sometimes being a bit of a yes man/people pleaser. A habit he got from wanting to make his parents proud of him. Thankfully the band are always patient with him, it’s often Floyd who lightly reminds him he doesn’t have to be anything special other then himself 

-If it wasn’t obvious from the series but Pansexual king 

-He and Rowlf are really good pals. They met on the road when Floyd and Teeth where making a pit stop for a few days to restock on food. Rowlf played in a local bar for tips as a smaller side gig, but it wasn’t his main focus in life. Teeth heard him playing and - a little nervously at first - approached him and complimented his skills. It didn’t take long for the two to become pals, Rowlf admitting that music just wasn’t for him because there’s little chance it could work out, Teeth encouraging him it could if he tried, and then explaining his story of being on the road with Floyd and Animal. Teeth trusts Rowlf almost as much a he trusts the band, he practically sees him as family for all the time Rowlf has been there for him (helped him out when he was drunk, supported the band in their early days, helped Teeth get out of a creative funk, etc) 

Janice:

-I like to think she came from two strict parents. Not controlling in the same way Teeth’s mum was, but they didn’t really get their daughter. Janice was a care free girl who, unlike her twin, struggle in school and didn’t get very good grades. This led to a lot of passive aggressive fighting between herself and her parents, with her twin often feeling stuck in the middle. Janice eventually ran away from home after a huge fight between her and her twin, leaving her family devastated (they totally didn’t spend weeks sick with worry, and her sister totally didn’t spend long nights crying in bed wondering how to fix things)

-I want to write a story of Janice and her sister (let’s call her Jamie for now) eventually reuniting. Jamie probably goes on to have a big career like her parents and is a lot less ditzy like her twin. Janice and Jamie at first don’t talk to each other, leaving the band feeling awkward when Janice (out of politeness, forced politeness) asks Jamie round for dinner. It leads to a conversation that gradually gets less and less friendly while the band look between them quickly growing panicked 

-Before joining the band she spent her days with a band of travelling hipsters, sleeping in pitched tents in fields of wherever their was room on the road. A lot of singing round the campfire, weaving flower crowns, spending lazy afternoons singing songs (skinny dippy-). Floyd and Teeth with baby Animal stumbled upon her camp while on the road and that’s how they eventually met. Janice looks back on those memories very fondly and views the hippies she travelled with as like another family 

-She loves camping, it reminds her of her time with the travelling band of hippies. Floyd isn’t as enthusiastic as her so he lets her take the reins with camping trips most of the time, he still likes it and Janice always makes sure it’s a fun time 

-She took to baby Animal right off the bat, loved him from the get go and still does to this day. 

-Want to know what other Animal she loves? Foofoo. With Piggy and Janice being close friends it was inevitable that Janice would meet Foofoo, and Foofoo loves the free attention. Foofoo also loves stealing away Janice’s attention and dotting from Floyd, which makes him so annoyed because that attention and hugs are rightfully his excuse me? Who does this rat dog think they are?!

[bunnyloaves]

mean streets posting in 2k23

what if mean streets drove me insane huh,, the streets sure were mean

anYWAYS i somehow liked this more than taxi driver hmm likE man i cannot say no to the most pathetic wet and sopping sad man ive ever seen, hes on the verge of a breakdown in like every scene, he looks like a muppet half the time im legit giggling KJFAHSDF

(how johnny boy is self destructive and uncaring, borderline suicidal with how confrontational he is, like u do not cuss somebody u owe money to in that way if u did not have a death wish for yourself o____o 

and regardless of how much charlie tries to help him out, he just bites the hand that feeds him, and even I felt frustrated with his character by mid film)

i like the religious guilt and christian overtones, makes me kinda sad how johnny is like a charity case for charlie and that sucks for the both of em (it also relates to the opening lines in the movie,, of you only make up for your sins on the streets and not in the church, so yanno thats how charlie atones for whatever religious guilt he’s feeling, helping out this poor guy downtrodden on the streets :(( )

but upon reading thru the tumblr truthers, theres this aspect of charlie’s coddling nature and johnny boy’s rejection of coddling (theres even the question of how earnest that coddling is, cuz when u think about it, it IS self serving, self purifying) back to the rejection, that only puts them both into deeper shit, the more charlie helps, the more johnny boy just retaliates, AND THE NARRATIVE DOOMS THEM, FUCK IM SO UPSET

like they literally cannot make each other better, they only make each other worse wtf, despite the intentions being semi-good

theres also those christian subtext to keep in mind

one (the flames of hell, the matchsticks, the way charlie keeps touching flames thru out the movie (flames are explosive n volatile yadda yadda and so on)) two (the st francis of assisi, not sure what thats meant to represent ngl) three (his christian monologuing tm, likE he’s babbling all about penance n shit when johnny boy walks in, like hello there is no het explanation for that scene wtf scorsese)

ok moving on

like charlie why do u keep vouching for johnny lmaoo, thats so sus n gay, ok moving onto my homo homo truthing

one (the car scene with the gay couple, like o___o uHM johnny boy is literally wearing the same colors as the guy that taunts ppl by asking to suck their dick, and yanno theyre pulled away by their respective partners as well JFASDF like hellO its not even subtext gay, its just textually gay)

two (how johnny boy and teresa wear the same colors, or their color language is the same, which is yellow, and i think that for a movie that uses colors somewhat distinctly, they mUSTVE HAD A REASON FOR THIS, like hello why is johnny boy’s color yellow, the same flamboyant color of the gay dude tm (which imo is self evident flamboyant colors for a flamboyant guy,,, but why is he dressed literally similarly to teresa ASDHFA))

three (the bedroom scene, need i say more, like why r u men in the same bed shuTTUP) 

four (the trash bin scene which was very cute imo like ok look at these baby girls) 

five (the graveyard scene, like ok johnny boy lying on the grave/concrete, like what was going on in charlie’s head at the time hmmm, like maybe just how close johnny could be to being dead and in a grave himself, if it weren’t for his interference siGHS, these men hurt me in ways)

six (the fist fight which was hURTFUL DUDE, HAD ME SOBBING WRITING ABOUT IT, like o___o johnny boy snapping about ‘never hitting him that way again’, then it cuts to him being hit, anD THEN the sudden ‘did i hurt u’, like i am exploding rn,, tHE TENDERNESS WTF, and it just shows how they bring out the worst in each other i cryINGH rn like why does johnny boy just take it, the punches n stuff o___o why is he taking it and latching on :(( )

seven (the red lights entrance scene, im losing my mind liKE HELLO, why is it framed that way?? johnny being his literal penance sOBBING RN)

eight (the rooftop scene, i remember some tumblrina truther out here saying something about how johnny is volatile, like a powder keg, instigating arguments and violence,,, and lets go back to the opening wherein charlie is all like theres two punishments from hell, its the spiritual and physical,, its the flames,, anyways my point is, is that charlie is in the very least drawn to johnny inasmuch as he serves as a means of atonement for him, and johnny biting the hand that essentially sustains him, every step of the way,, lIKE THEY ARE SO DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE PLEASE IM BEGGING)

but there's this mundane sadness to the whole movie and idk its effective AKDJFJF like it legit made me feel for these characs

cinematography wise, i do like it,, like it's obviously wonky being from the 70s n all but it was shot with intent (and a distinct visual style) and i like that

thE MUSIC THO oh my god does it slap,, ngl the music sells the movie for me AKDJFJ,, also why are like half the songs love songs o____o like hELLO care to explain this?

i liked this more than i thought I would, nice job scorsese, maybe this was the goncharov all along :))

[jennilah]

Hoffman, Strahm, and Amanda if I am allowed to be greedy please and thank you: 4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? 7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? 21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like? 23. Favorite picture of this character?

YIPPEE if you get to be greedy then I get to be selfish bc i was super hoping for more of these haha

4) If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

i want to see them all in the same movies, but it's a Muppets remake

or put Hoffman and Strahm in DBD with Amanda. not because I play, but because I also kind of enjoy that world and the "canon-compliant" crossover art and fics and stuff that has come from it. and I want to see them in a video game and see funny clips of them with the other killers and survivors i get to enjoy funny videos of, fight me

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

jeez its almost easier to answer with what I don't like. There's plenty to like! I like most things! :D

Hoffman: Obviously I like most things we do with this guy, since most of us took a match to his frozen heart and said "thou shalt love again."

In canon this dude is hanging on to one last thread of humanity and the fandom does a pretty good job of mending his ability to feel emotions again, while still keeping him morally dubious. He's not a 100% misunderstood cinnamon roll, and I think most people understand that he is cruel and has a penchant for revenge. He has a bloodlust that maybe, just maybe, the right amount of love and proper support could have saved him from developing.

we are out here saying "I can fix him" but keeping some of the cracks, because the cracks are fun

Strahm: I like when he's given more depth than just being an angry coke-addict. (I actually don't do the coke headcanon. It's a VERY funny joke, but no I don't actually believe he does it.)

It's very easy to see his interrogation meltdown and forget the context and write him off as "crazy," but he didn't do it for no reason? Unfortunately heavily edited down in the theatrical version, he very much breaks down because the intensity of the situation just QUADRUPLED as his partner (who he cares for) was fighting for her life in the hospital, and he still didn't have any leads. too many people forget that.

I think he's probably a very normal, if not slightly hot-headed guy in day-to-day life when lives arent on the line. Perez even says as much in Saw VI.

Amanda: luckily I dont often see things I dont like with her, thank goodness. She is another lost soul who got led down the wrong path, when real support from people with good intentions could have saved her. She also fucks up and makes bad decisions that dig her deeper into the hole, like her own craving for violence and distrust in the jigsaw test process.

God, and her fiery personality, and how she's enthusiastic to take part in the traps but slowly her confidence tumbles down as she watches people scream and struggle and cry out to her for help.

ok at this point im just raving about each character i dont know if these satisfy the question LOL Basically, i just enjoy seeing what aspects of each character people decide to play up for art and stuff. some people like them more evil, some people like them more sympathetic- nobody is wrong, necessarily.

(also soapbox moment but stop saying ppl are reducing characters to 1 trait when you are looking at 1 art which can only realistically depict 1 trait visually at a time lol. art can only possibly be a snapshot of one moment. most people arent reducing anyone and are happy to have in-depth conversations like this if you give them a chance. also if its "all they draw", who cares lol. try not caring so much and scroll? luckily no one has accused ME of doing it, but i see it in every fandom. and i could imagine, for example, someone seeing my blushing Strahms and assume all I care about is objectifying him or something. DING DONG WRONG!! its not that serious!)

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

Hoffman: In my fics, I really enjoyed writing him being in total denial of his feelings, both from his POV with his thoughts, and how badly he hides it from Strahm's POV too. In canon, before going off the deep end, he has a very calm demeanor while he does nothing but spew lies, so its fun to play with that. It's fun making him pretend to only be into casual flings but secretly craves something deeper but feels like he cant have it.

Strahm: Its fun to write his denial too, but his is a bit different. He's got more of a grumpy muttering "why oh WHY do I have to think he's hot??" daily agony that threatens to kill him if he thinks about it too much, but it's dealing constant psychic damage to him throughout the day

Amanda: I havent written her 😭 but if I did, I would hypothetically write her similar to Hoffman, where she has an outward persona that is threatening to crumble at any moment which is shakily masking her true feelings

23. Favorite picture of this character?

ill have you know this was the hardest to answer and im still not sure if im confident in my choices so i choose 2 for each bc theres too many great ones

ough and this one as an honorable mention. its everything

[ofthecaravel]

Just got my tonsils out so here’s a Sanni blurb:

“Can’t you just come over for a little bit?” Sammi all but begged through her low, raspy voice.

“Honey you know I can’t just yet. You have a compromised immune system and I’m sick right now, remember?.” Dani felt bad for her girl, but her health came first, and she was unwilling to compromise.

“So you’re just gonna leave me here to fend for myself?” Sammi scoffed, which caused her to let out a brief but mildly painful cough. Having her tonsils out sucked.

Dani rolled her eyes, grateful that Sammi couldn’t see her through their voice call. “So are the sister’s you live with who are tending to your every need right now just chopped liver?” Sammi was a notorious drama queen, and Dani liked to challenge that.

“They aren’t as good at cuddling” Sammi took a cold sip of water, “and not nearly as nice to look at.” she deadpanned.

“Whoah now, careful what you say, those are fighting words. Don’t let Jose know you told me that, she might just smother you to death with hugs and kisses to prove a point” Dani said, only half jokingly.

“Eh, I tell it to both their faces often enough, they’ve given up on trying to outshine you” Sammi insisted.

Dani could hear a voice enter the room, saying something to Sammi about it being time to take her medication. Dani knew she hated it, and she secretly cringed a little on behalf of her girl.

There was silence on each end for a moment, and then Dani could hear what she believed to a faint kiss to the crown of Sammi’s head. “Hey Dani.” It was Jane.

“Hi Jane! Thank’s for taking such good care of my girl, hope she isn’t giving you too much trouble”

“Oh you know Sammi, stubborn and quick to throw out an insult as ever… but now she just sounds like a muppet whenever she does it so all’s forgiven” Jane snorted and Dani was pretty sure she could hear her being repeatedly hit with a pillow, or what she hoped was a pillow.

“Talk to ya later Dani!” Jane called out as she escaped the aggressions of her baby sister.

“What a dick” Sammi huffed.

“You think everyone’s a dick.” Dani reminded, with a smirk on her face.

“Not you,” Sammi said shyly, “never you.”

“Hey listen babydoll, you really shouldn’t be straining your voice this much right now. We should probably text for a little while. I want you to heal up so I can come snuggle you.”

“I want YOU to get get over your cold so you can come snuggle me.” Sami groaned. “And besides, I like listening to your voice baby.”

Dani chuckled. “I’ll send you all the voice memos you want then.”

“Pinky promise?” Sammi whined.

“Pinky promise, my angel” and with that, they could each hear the other kiss their thumbs while sticking out their pinkies in the air.

“Love you Dani.” Sammi declared.

“I love you babygirl, get some rest.”

————————

I’m on a heavy narcotic so this may look better to me than other’s but I’m sure it’s fine.

This was the most delightful blurb ever omfg I always love how you interpret my sweet sweet girls 😭😭😭😭 feel better my child!!! Eat lots of ice cream/gelato/whatever you want