#I could keep talking for hours. Anyone want a full concept for the soundtrack?

[gentlemean]

I know the fandom loves throwing ideas around for a hypothetical adaptation, so why not chime in.

I think most of us agree that an animated series would be better than the dreaded life-action adaptation. Regardless of format, any adaptation would have to somehow preserve the peculiarities, the absolute whiplash, and way the narration shapes the narrative. In my opinion, an animated series could do this quite well.

We start off with Gideon the Ninth. It's shown in heavily stylized 3d animation (think, at least Arcane-style), with strong contrasts in the colors. The Ninth house is dark and desaturated, the lights in the eyes of animated skeletons and Gideon's hair positively burn among the dreary surroundings. Then, getting to the First, the world is vibrant and bright, lots of elaborate light refractions in the broken windows of Canaan house.

Characters are accompanied not only by small, individual musical themes, but also by visual clues. Each house might have distinct little particles and effects that appear in scenes in which the respective characters act. They might synergize in scenes where characters cooperate or contrast in scenes in which they fight. (example: the Niners are always accompanied by shadows, ink-blots staining the scenery around them. The Third are too graceful to be real, all of their animations use exaggerated smear-frames in overly grandiose flourishes. When Naberius fights Gideon, his strikes stir the shadows around Gideon, cleaving bright rifts into the inkstained dark.)

The story is told as we know it, without reordering or large ommissions. One thing we see not nearly often enough in modern television is actual narration in the background. We don't need it for all of the visuals and happenings, but so much of gtn profits from Gideon's thoughts and feelings.

A few scenes look differently though. When Gideon allows Harrow to take over her vision, the animation style changes. It gets a bit more abstract, the surroundings are textured like oil paintings, and Gideon herself has trails of smoke and ink following her movements. This is how they see the world together, and it is reflected again at the very end of the first book, when Harrow ascends. Except this time there's no borrowing, it's something deeper. The world is painted, more abstractly this time, and the characters appear almost like paper cuts.

And then the fun begins. We leave gtn and start htn. There is no more Gideon in our narrative, and yet there is her narration. As in the first series we retain parts of the narration, and it is her voice - mostly. Now, this is a source of great confusion in the book, right? The series would have to make it explicit that it is her voice, but it can have fun with it nevertheless. Some words are garbled, overlapping, distorted. Sometimes, Harrow's voice seamlessly takes over the narration, drifting in and continuing, while still using Gideon's pronunciation and vocal flow.

The visuals, on the other hand - now, that's an entirely different thing. At this point we know what the world looks like when Gideon sees it and what it looks like when they see it together. htn gives us two exciting new variations: 'Harrow with very little Gideon' for the Mithraeum story, and 'Harrow entirely without Gideon' for the river bubble. In the main, physical-world story we retain broad strokes of thick oil paint for the world around Harrow. The characters are too clean on a messy background, with some of the paint steadily bleeding into their shapes. The paint seems almost like it is an active participant in the narrative, crawling across inconvenient truths to blot them out, staining everyone but keeping it's distant from John, who therefore remains clearer than clear, shiny and bright, squeaky clean and lemon scented. But then there's the river bubble, and we get full Harrow, with a teeny bit of Wake. The scenery around the characters is vague and misty, swathes of color arrange into a distorted background like ink being poured into water. The entire scenery bleeds color and light into the surroundings of dark, barely saturated characters. It breaks at the seams when the uncomfortably realistic fleshy pipes wind through the walls, something too concrete for a tearstained world.

Towards the final act, we see a few changes: Abigail summons Nonius, and the shape language changes. Everything's still illustrated the way it was before, but the stark, desaturated characters in his proximity stop being mere dark blots in this scenery, and instead become almost comic-like. Their strikes and attacks are supported by respective action lines, their poses and moves adapt to the newly imposed genre conventions. Meanwhile, on the Mithraeum, Gideon is keeping the fires burning. We're almost back to the way we used to see the world in the beginning, Gideon's stark contrast and smooth environments. But there's the ink bleeding into the scenery from dark corners and bright red puddles, there's enough of Harrow here to stain the world.

And, well. We get to Nona. And Nona's world fundamentally isn't like the one the other's see. Nona's world is mismatched and chaotic and charmingly odd. Most of it is claymation, interspersed with some other materials. Cam's swords are real metal, the dust of New Rho fills the air, and most of the food is probably actual food that looks as dreadfully out of place in this world as it feels in Nona's mouth. There remains a touch of Harrow, expressive movements are exaggerated with her flowing ink, action lines like calligraphy. Of course, there are also the John chapters. Here, we get to have proper fun with the visuals. Let's recap: it's Harrow getting to experience a memory of Alecto, narrated by John. We already know Harrow's flowing colors that stain the backgrounds, and we get mixed medium animation with it: articulated plastic dolls, of course, with some natural materials (moss, wood, some metal scraps) as set dressing.

I'm still not entirely settled on the Nona Epilogue. As long as Alecto isn't out I'm not sure whether I want to keep in line with something from the next book, or whether it's its own thing. Until we know more: illuminated manuscript.

---

Well, that was more than I originally intended to write, but I've had those thoughts in my head basically since I've started the books, and they needed an outlet. There's plenty more ideas where those came from, please please talk to me. 'The Unwanted Guest' as an actual play, anyone? (When Cam makes contact with Babs, and the fight initiates, the camera zooms out from the now frozen claymation, revealing it's situated on a table in the front row of a theatre hall BTW)

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Hero | Luke Patterson

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Song Fic February Week 4: Musicals 

Inspiration: StarStruck (DCOM)

Requested: Yes/No

A/N: Anon suggested doing something with the Starstruck soundtrack, so I’m writing a whole-ass series. This is based off the plot of Starstruck but the reader was a fan of JATP until she met Luke... Basically crush to enemies to lovers! Also a modern!au.

The third installment of the StarStruck series! 

StarStruck

Something About The Sunshine

Hero

What You Mean To Me

Pairing: Luke x Fem!reader

Song(s) used: Hero - Christopher Wilde (StarStruck ST)

Warnings: few swear words, mention of car accidents, mention of child abuse, mention of postnatal depression, tiny bit of angst

Words: 8.6K

I’m almost nervous to see him again. There’s a nervous flutter erupting from the pit of my stomach and I feel hot and sweaty when it’s not even that warm out. The boy didn’t have that effect on me just a day ago and now he suddenly does? I hate this. 

“Morning,�� I greet when I find Luke standing outside the coffee shop with his hood pulled far over his head and sunglasses covering his beautiful eyes. He shoots me a smile, but I don’t think he actually looks at me. Right, the whole “I can’t be seen with you”-thing. 

“Want to go grab some coffee before we go?” I ask instead, pointing at the shop. 

Luke nods his head and follows me inside where we wait in line together. The silence that hangs over us is uncomfortable for the first time. I don’t know why but his mysterious, secretive antics are making me nervous. 

“Next!” the barista calls and the two of us step forward. The twenty-something woman shoots the both of us a polite smile, not even acknowledging that Luke’s keeping his head low. This is L.A., she’s probably used to it by now. “What can I get for ya?” 

“An iced vanilla latte for me, please,” I say and then glance down at Luke. 

He coughs. “Iced caramel macchiato.” His voice is low, just above a whisper, as though he’s telling the barista and me a secret. I’m glad we’re going to be out of the city soon, so Luke can go back to his regular self. Or to the singing-on-top-of-a-car-in-the-middle-of-nowhere self. 

“What’s your name, please?” 

“Y/N…” My eyes land on Luke for a split second, and I’m pretty sure he’s not even going to answer. Luke’s a pretty generic name, I’m sure people won’t even bother to look up. “Put my name on both, please.” 

The barista smiles and then dashes off after I paid to start making our coffees while we shuffle towards the end of the counter, ready to take our drinks when they’re ready. Luke keeps his head down. He doesn’t even look up at me and the awkward silence doesn’t eb away.  

“You’re not gonna talk to me yet, are you?” I ask him as I hand him one of the two straws I picked up. He shakes his head. I try my hardest not to groan and instead, hand him the keys to my car. “Here, get yourself settled in my car, I’ll handle this.” 

His eyes peer over the rim of his sunglasses, flickering with uncertainty and gratefulness at the same time. I shoot him a smile, urging him to get out of here, which he does with a quick flash of his teeth. 

The awkwardness quickly washes off me when he’s left the coffee shop and I’m all alone, hoping everything would change once we’re all alone, away from the prying eyes of Los Angeles’ residents. 

“Iced vanilla latte and iced caramel macchiato for y/n,” the barista calls and places the cups on the counter in front of me. 

I smile at her, say, “Thank you! Bye!” and then dart out of the coffee shop as fast as I could. I weave my way through hasty people and slacking tourists towards my Toyota Yaris where a hooded boy sits in my passenger seat. He still has his hood pulled up and his sunglasses balancing on the bridge of his nose. He almost looks sad, which makes me a little sad too. I wish I could do more than let him wait in my car. 

“Here you go,” I say and hand him his coffee when I’ve settled into my seat. 

“Thank you,” he mutters, and I’m pretty sure it’s not just for the beverage. 

A smile etches its way to my cheeks as I regard him. “You’re welcome,” I say and then start the engine. As I pull out of the parking lot, Luke finally sparks up a conversation. I’m almost relieved to hear his voice again for more than two words.    

“Where’re we going?” he asks. 

I debate telling him but then decide I’d do it anyway. I’ve been researching a lot last night and have found the greatest secluded spots and the time slots when they’re mostly deserted or have the least visitors. The one I wanted to take him to today was a lot closer than the other ones, so I figured we could start with that. 

“The Old L.A. Zoo. It’s less crowded before 9am, so I figured we could go explore it a bit until too many people arrive?” The statement comes out of my mouth as a question since I’m unsure whether or not he’d like that. 

“Cool,” he replies, and he sounds honest, too. “I don’t think I’ve ever been there.” 

It surprises me a little, but I go with it anyway. “Really? I’ve been there plenty of times! It’s really cool! Kinda spooky.” Luke lets out an airy laugh at that and it makes my heart flutter a little. 

Within ten minutes, we arrive at the old zoo. Ten minutes had gone by and yet it felt like a split second. The conversation ran fluently on our way there and Luke told me things about the band and his childhood that not even the biggest fangirl on earth could possibly know. I love talking to Luke about those seemingly uninteresting, small things. 

The rest of the morning, too, goes by as if there’s no concept of time whatsoever. The two of us walk through the old, abandoned zoo and explore every single old habitat. I even find a website that tells us the entire history of each section of the zoo and as I read it, Luke listens and adds in his own commentary. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much in just a few  hours. This guy is genuinely funny and I just adore talking to him. Our conversations go from the ridiculous to the serious, and every subject in between. 

It’s just the perfect day that I wish would never end, but inevitably, Luke has his own responsibilities and has to go by lunch time. 

“Hey, why don’t you come with me to the studio?” he asks with a smile as we’re making our way back to the car. “I’m in there all by myself, aside from our producer, and I’m recording a few songs.” 

I open and close my mouth a few times, letting incomprehensible sounds roll out. It makes me look like a dumbfounded fish, I’m sure, but I don’t care. My brain is dysfunctioning for a moment. Luke Patterson is asking me to come to the studio with him. To watch him record some songs. Songs that are going to be on the album. 

Luke’s laugh makes the gears in my brain fall back into place. “Is that a yes?” he asks. 

A heat rises up to my cheeks. “Yeah,” I finally manage. 

“Cool,” he says and then gets into the car. 

The ride to the studio is filled with smooth conversation. We never miss a beat, there’s never an awkward silence between the two of us. Only when we arrive at the recording studio and we’re met with a huddle of paparazzi outside the door.

“Fuck,” he mutters and ducks down. I do the same, knowing he doesn’t want me to be seen with him either. “Drive around back,” he orders before fumbling into the glove compartment of my car. He retrieves a pair of sunglasses I kept there, along with a shawl of my mother’s that I didn’t know was still in there. “Put this on.” 

“No,” I reply sternly, pushing his hand with the shawl away. I do take the sunglasses from his hand though, and push them onto my nose. “Put that shawl away,” I bark. The boy obeys and stuffs the piece of cursed fabric back where it came from. 

Mental note: throw that out. 

When we finally do get into the recording studio, as soon as I’m on Luke’s side, he grabs my hand and drags me into the building before anyone could ever spot us. I nearly stumble on my own feet, but quickly pick myself back up before I faceplant the floor. 

Luke huffs. “Phew, that was close.” 

He looks at me, and for a second, I think he might bring up the shawl again, but he doesn’t and instead turns to his producer, who had gotten up from his swivel chair the second we burst in.  

“Connor!” Luke greets excitedly and shakes the man’s hand. 

He looks near his thirties, strong built with flawless dark skin and a full head of afro hair. Combined with his extremely savvy outfit, I find him really cool-looking. He’s the kind of guy that would get all the girls in high school while still being a sweetheart. 

“You brought some new flesh, I see,” Connor says to me and outstretches his hand for me to shake. I do so with a wide smile on my face while pretending not to be completely nervous about being in a recording studio for the first time. 

“Y/N,” I introduce myself. 

“Welcome to our little slice of heaven on earth, y/n.” My eyes flick to Luke, who’s giving me that look again, so I quickly turn back to Connor. “Any knowledge of recording studios, y/n?” he asks. 

“Never been in one, but my friend is a producer and he did teach me some things.” 

I hear Luke huff beside me. “I didn’t know that.” 

“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know.” I shoot him a wink as Connor beckons me towards his deck. For a while, Connor guides me through his paces while Luke gives the best of himself on this song. 

After a few takes, Luke comes out of the booth and joins me and Connor to listen to what we’d recorded thus far. “What if –” I pause, debating my thoughts. “What if we go in with some soft backing vocals on here?” I click the part of the chorus we’d recorded and sing along with recorded Luke. 

“'Cause I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy With heart and soul But if your the one for me Then I'll be your hero”

“I think if you put Julie on those backings, it could give that duet-vibe you guys are so good at.” I notice Connor and Luke glance at each other, soft smiles playing on both their lips. 

“Why don’t you show us?” Connor asks as Luke already grabs my hand. 

“What?! Me? No! Julie.” 

Luke chuckles and drags me into the booth with him. “Yeah, but we’re gonna need a demo, don’t we?” He delicately places a set of headphones on my head before placing one on his own. He signals to Connor and no later than 2 seconds, the instrumental version of the song blasts through the headphones. 

Gazing at me, Luke starts singing the first verse of the song, and I let him. It almost feels like he’s serenading me. Almost. All that’s missing is a guitar or a boombox over his head. 

“I'm no superman I can't take your hand And fly you anywhere you want to go Yeah I can't read your mind Like a billboard sign And tell you everything you want to hear But I'll be your hero”

From the chorus onwards, I jump in with backing vocals wherever I feel like it’s acceptable without taking my eyes off of Luke. 

“I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy With heart and soul But if you're the one for me Then I'll be your hero”

“Could you be the one Could you be the one for me” “Oh I'll be your hero” “Could you be the one Could you be the one for me” “Yeah I'll be your hero”

“So incredible Some kind of miracle That's what it's meant to be I'll become a hero So I wait, wait, wait, wait for you”

We keep our eyes locked at the high note too, smiles plastered on our faces from ear to ear. Singing with Luke gives me some kinda rush. A feeling I can’t quite describe but it’s a feeling I want to feel more often. 

“Yeah, I'll be your hero Yeah”

“Cause I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, Yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy with and soul But if you're the one for me I'll be your hero”

“Yeah, I'll be your hero”

“Could you be the one Could you be the one for me”

“Yeah I'll be your hero”

The music fades out in our headphones, and soon, Connor’s applause sounds through it instead. I’m snapped back into reality, away from cloud 9, away from the pure bliss that’s singing with Luke and gazing into his eyes. 

“That was amazing! Good job, guys!” Connor says, beaming. 

Luke and I remove our headphones and he grabs my hand to lead me back to the decks where Connor welcomes us with open arms and a wide smile. 

“I thought you and Julie were the most watchable duetters, but I’ve been proven wrong.” 

I feel the heat rise to my cheeks before Luke snaps me out of it again. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Con. Can you send the finished product to the band and our manager? I’m sure they’d like to hear this. Don’t tell them who’s on backing vocals, though. They don’t need to know that.”

I swallow a lump in my throat and try to convince myself it’s probably not that deep. Luke doesn’t want to be seen with me. Not even by his band mates. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. 

We wrap up the recording session and I drive Luke back to the coffee shop where he looks behind him and out of every single one of the windows, just to be sure the coast is clear of paparazzi. 

“Thanks for the day, y/n. I really enjoyed spending time with you again.” 

I force a smile. Ever since his statement to Connor about not wanting the band to know about me, I’ve been going over everything in my mind and it has caused me to fold in on myself.

“Yeah, it was fun.” 

He gazes at me for a moment, inspecting every inch of my face as if detecting the lie from my eyes. When I think he’s just going to bid his goodbyes and get out, he doesn’t. Instead, he turns his body to me and reaches for his phone. I watch as he unlocks it and taps away on it before turning the device towards me. There’s a new contact form open on his screen. 

“Gimme your number. I’d love to do this again some day.” 

I furrow my brow while taking the phone in my hands. “Do you even have time to spend days with a nobody like me?” I don’t dare look at him and keep my eyes on the screen as I type my name and number. 

He doesn’t say anything either until I finally cave and look up when giving his phone back. There’s a crease in his forehead as his eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. 

“You’re not a nobody, y/n. I’d gladly make time for you. I told you, I loved spending days away from reality. Especially with you.” Fangirl Me is jumping out of my skin while Present Me tries to keep her cool and ignore all of the butterflies that erupt in her stomach. 

“Cool,” Present Me says out loud while Fangirl Me is scolding her so hard. 

Cool? Cool?! Seriously? Dude.   

“I’ll text you, yeah?” 

I nod my head in response and watch as he gets out of my car. Before I can even place my foot on the gas or shift out of park, my phone beeps in the pocket of my sweater. For the first time in forever, I smile when seeing an unknown number on my screen. 

As I look out of my window, I find Luke looking at me with his hood pulled over his head again. He shoots me a quick smile and a wave before I turn to my phone again and type a reply. 

I whip my head up to see his reaction. His jaw drops before his face turns into a scowl as he glares at me. Giggling and satisfied with the reaction, I place my phone on the passenger’s seat where Luke was sitting before and then pull out of the parking spot. 

That night, I save Luke’s number to my phone. I go between “Luke P.”, “Patterson” and “Luke ❤️” but eventually decide on the funnier option and save him as “Poo Musician 💩”.   

I stand in line at the coffee shop before 8:30 that morning and I’m a little nervous. Last night when I returned from my day with Luke, the two of us had been texting back and forth. I felt like a sixteen year old again. One of those giggly teenagers that’s texting their crush. Which is what I was, but it’s been a while since I felt like it. 

Once I have an iced vanilla latte and an iced caramel macchiato, I head outside where I find a boy waiting by my car. He’s wearing a sleeveless shirt paired with a bright blue sleeveless sweater, his hood pulled far over his head so his face is hidden from prying eyes. 

I don’t need to see his face to know it’s Luke. I’d recognize those muscles from a mile away. The way he’s leaning against the hood of my car and the way he’s holding his phone is a dead giveaway too. 

“Your coffee, sir,” I say in a serious, deep voice. 

Luke’s head snaps up, eyes wide. He looks like a deer caught in headlights until he notices it’s just me and relaxes. A smile etches onto his face as he tucks his phone into the pocket of his jeans whilst taking the coffee I ordered for him with his other hand. 

He takes a cautious sip from the beverage. “Hm, Caramel Macchiato, someone’s been stalking me.” I know he’s just teasing, I can tell by the way one corner of his mouth curls up and his eyes have that childlike glint in them. 

Making my way to the driver’s side of my car, I smile and say, “Contrary to popular belief, Patterson, I’m not a stalker. I just remembered your order from yesterday.” 

Luke’s smile tells me something I’d rather not think about. It’s like he’s saying “You remembered my order” in that flirty way only he knows how to. I simply shrug before opening my door and getting in with Luke following my example. Without missing a beat, he fishes my phone from between my fingers and grabs my free hand to use my thumb to unlock my phone. This time, I don’t object and let him. I know that it’s just to get to my music app anyway. 

While Journey’s Anyway You Want It plays through the car’s speakers, I pull out of the parking spot in front of the coffee shop and start driving to the next location I’d found during my research the other night. 

“Where’re we going?” he asks, and I flashback to yesterday when he asked me the exact same question in that exact same way. 

I smile as I place my cup in the cupholder between the two of us. “You’ll see.” I glance over, finding him tilting his head slightly and giving me that ‘Really?’ look. “I promise it’s very secluded and not a lot of people will be there.” 

“Cool,” he says and sips. “Is this where you’re going to kidnap me and hold me for ransom? I bet you could get a lot of money for a Julie and The Phantoms band member.” 

I snort at his remark. “How much do you think I could get for you?” 

He scrunches up his nose in thought, which I catch as I take a quick glance at him again. As I face the road again, I reach for my coffee and take a quick sip, awaiting Luke’s response to my question. 

“Like 10k?” 

I nearly spit out my coffee. “10k?!” I screech, and his laugh thunders through my car. “Careful or I’ll actually kidnap you and hold you for ransom if I’m gonna earn that much.” 

The laughter dies down and after a few moments of silence lingering in the air, Luke says, “How much do you think I’m worth?” 

Without missing a beat, I respond to his question, dead serious. “Not even a dollar.”  

Luke gasps, his mouth dropping in absolute disbelief while I can’t help but cackle loudly. Judging from this conversation alone, I’m positive today will be a good day. A good, fun day. 

“I’m worth more than a dollar, right?” 

“No, you’re right, I’d probably ask like a million and then no one will pay the ransom and you’ll have to stay with me for the rest of your life.” 

I let out my best maniacal laughter as I feel him watch me. I know the exact look he’s giving me. The look. The one with the glistening eyes and the slightly turned up lips. The one all girls and gays swoon for. The one I would swoon for if I’d turn my head right now. But I don’t. For once in my life, I’m smart and keep my eyes on the road. 

“You like me,” he states proudly. 

“Slightly less strong dislike.” I’m lying through my teeth, but I’m hoping Luke won’t notice. Or at least not acknowledge it because I can already feel the heat rising to my cheeks. 

“I’ll take it.” 

He reaches forward and turns the volume up as Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” floats through the speakers. Very loudly, and very obnoxiously, the boy begins to sing along. If it wasn’t for the velvet smooth voice, I would’ve scolded at him to keep it down. But the sound actually makes my toes curl and my stomach flutter. For a verse, I let him sing by himself while I enjoy his performance but by the chorus, I can’t withhold myself and sing along with him. 

The rest of the ride is filled with belting of the road trip tunes, laced with patches of small talk. It’s the perfect car ride, and before we know it, we’ve arrived at our destination. Santa Fe Dam Recreation Area. The parking lot is practically empty, aside from two cars, which I’m assuming are the staff’s. It’s the perfect indication that I picked the right spot to go to, and I can tell Luke knows it too. 

He’s bouncing in his seat, either from excitement or the amount of sugar that was in his iced coffee, and when I turn off the ignition and turn to him, he looks at me with the widest smile plastered on his face. He almost looks like an excited toddler on Christmas morning, ready to open his presents. 

“I came here once with my parents when I was younger,” he tells me, “I love this place.” 

His confession makes me smile. “Good because I’ve been scouring the internet for the perfect place.” He shoots me the look again. “Stop looking at me like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’re going to kiss me.” 

He shrugs, “Maybe I want to.” 

“So you want me to slap you?” 

His smile fades away immediately. “Let’s go,” he grumbles and quickly gets out. 

I heave in a deep breath, recollecting myself before getting out too and retrieving the backpack I brought, filled with stuff for today. Including my itinerary – or just a notebook filled with some ideas I had. 

“How about we start with a bike ride across the park?” I suggest, pointing at the bike rental shop I found on Google the other night. 

We walk into the rental place, expecting there to be bikes upon bikes but instead, we’re met with kayaks, pedal boats and go-karts. My eyebrows furrow, creasing my forehead as I look around the space. Why’s this called a bike rental when there are technically no bikes to rent? No actual bikes. 

“I thought we were going for a bike ride?” Luke says, teasingly. I look up at him, and I think my face tells him enough about my knowledge about this place. My research clearly wasn’t sufficient. 

Deciding to just roll with the circumstances, I roll my shoulders back and put a smile on my face. “Yeah, we’re going on a bike ride with one of these!” I say and point to the large, green go-kart. One of those that look like an old-school car at the front and have children’s seats in front of the terribly cushioned seats for adults. The ones with the small plastic wheel and bike pedals for two adults. I remember going on one of those big ones for six people with my family. 

“You’re serious?” Luke asks, his eyes wide. 

Instead of answering, I shoot him a smile before stepping forwards towards the staff member at the counter. The woman behind the counter looks no older than 45 and has long, billowing blonde locks that cascade down her shoulders. Her bright blue piercing eyes glisten as they land on the two of us, clearly glad she sees some customers so early in the day. 

“Good morning,” she greets with a smile, “We open in half an hour.” 

“Oh…” My research has been poor. 

Before I can possibly think of an answer, Luke steps forward and flashes the woman a smile. I’m not sure if he’s going to use his manly charms or if he’s going to pull the “Don’t you know who I am?” card. 

“Can’t you… make an exception for us?” he asks, leaning his elbow on the counter as he looks at the woman through his lashes. The woman looks up at Luke, her face like stone. She doesn’t recognize him and doesn’t fall for his charms either. 

Shaking my head, I spring into action. I quickly change the ring on my index finger to my ring finger and wrap my arm around Luke’s bicep while the other rests on his chest, making sure the ring is as visible as can be. As I flutter my eyelashes at the woman, I let the words tumble out of my mouth. 

“Please, ma’am? It’s our one year engagement anniversary and he was going to take me on this romantic bike ride….” I then lean forward over the counter. “He’s not very good at researching our dates, but he tries.” 

The woman’s eyebrows knit together as her eyes dart from me to Luke and back. 

“Aren’t you guys a little young to be engaged?” 

Luke jumps into the improvisation spot. “We’ve been told that a lot but we’ve been best friends for years and there’s no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” He looks down at me and when I glance up, too, he kisses the tip of my nose, which I then scrunch. 

I ignore the flutters in my stomach and face the woman again. She seems to have softened, her eyes less icy than it was before. Then, she turns to her computer and clicks through a few browsers before facing us again. 

“What do you guys want? The Surrey?” She points to the green bike-thing at the front of the shop. I nod my head in response. “Okay. You’ve got it for two hours for the price of one hour.” 

A smile etches its way to my face. “That’s perfect, thank you.” 

 Luke pays the woman the rental fee and then she helps us get Surrey out of the garage. After bidding our goodbyes, Luke and I pedal off on the bike. 

“One year engagement, really?” Luke asks me when we’re far enough from the rental and I switch my rings back around. 

“Well, whatever you were doing didn’t work.” 

 He scoffs. “It was working.” 

We pedal down the winding road with the wind blowing through our hair. I love how warm the breeze is and how the birds are chirping in the trees around us. This is the perfect day to go out and do this. 

“What exactly were you planning to do?” I ask him, glancing up at him. He’s focusing on the road ahead of us, a comfortable smile resting on his lips while his eyes flick from one side to another, taking everything in. 

He glances down at me, the smile turning into a smirk. “I was going to charm her with my manly wiles.” 

“And how was that working for ya?” 

For a second, we lock eyes. Luke has an annoyed look on his face while I can’t help but have my lips curl up on one side into a smirk. When he whips his head forward again, I notice the slight tint of pink covering his cheeks. 

Did I just make Luke Patterson blush? 

“So,” he coughs. “Whatcha wanna do?”

I shrug. “We could play twenty questions? Get to know each other better.” 

He nods his head in response. “You wanna start?” 

“That’s your first question?” 

“That’s yours?” 

I press my lips together, shutting myself up for just a moment before recomposing myself. I’m not going to lie, I totally Googled some questions to ask in a game of 20 questions. So, I’m prepared. 

“If you had to be trapped on a deserted island with one of your friends, who would you pick and why?” Luke’s eyes widen at the question a little. 

“Woah, straight in! I thought you were gonna start with ‘favorite color’ or something.” He chuckles lightly, and so do I. “Uhm… Not Alex, he’d probably be super anxious and pace all the way across the island and make me nervous. Not Reggie either, he’d be singing country songs the entire time, though he is a great cuddler. Maybe Julie? Though she’s gonna be miserable without Flynn….” 

With every thought he says out loud, my smile grows bigger and bigger. 

“You?” My heart leaps in my chest at his answer. “Yeah, I like spending time with you and what better place to get away from real life than a deserted island, right?” 

Without missing a beat, the next words pour out of my mouth. “It’s cute how you think we’re friends now.” I surprise myself with the words I speak. We are friends, but I like winding him up into thinking we’re not. 

“Friends who wanna kiss each other.” 

Ignoring the heat rising to my cheeks, I reply, “You mean kill?” 

Luke shakes his head, an amused smile on his face. “When are you going to admit that you like me?” 

“Never – Next question.” 

“Uhm… What was the last thing you stole or shoplifted?” he asks and I’m glad he doesn’t push any further on the fact I basically admitted that I like him. 

“Oh! A magnet in a tourist shop in Lanzarote,” I reply, giggling a little at the memory. “I was there with a couple of friends during Spring Break and those magnets cost way too much for what they are and there was like a rack outside the shop. So, I shoplifted an overpriced Lanzarote magnet.” 

Luke throws his head back as he laughs, nearly steering us into the bushes. “That’s amazing,” he cackles.  

We cruise through the entire park for two entire hours, asking each other questions, and after returning the Surrey, we walk towards the lake where we settle down onto the blanket I brought for some food. I’d prepared an entire picnic basket for us to enjoy during our lunch. 

“I find it very cute that you made an entire picnic basket for our first date.” 

I smile. “I find it very cute that you think this is a date.” 

He gives me the look again, but I ignore it and get every piece of food out of my backpack, sprawling it out around us. Sandwiches, chopped up vegetables and fruits, muffins,... All the delicious foods you’d find in a picnic. 

“Tell me more about your childhood,” Luke then says as he takes a chicken sandwich and takes a bite. “You don’t talk about it much.” 

My heart drops into my stomach. I wish he wouldn’t ask about that. Talking about my childhood means talking about my mother and I’ve been trying to avoid that for the past years. Not that many of my friends even know about that. 

“I told you plenty.” 

“You talked about your teenage years, but never about your childhood.” 

I take a deep breath. He’s not going to shut up about this until I tell him. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just that I don’t love talking about what happened with my mother. It’s something I’d much rather forget. 

“There’s a reason for that,” I reply pointedly and then shut myself up by taking a sip from the box of orange juice. I’d packed one for the both of us, but I’m the only one who’s opened it already as Luke had gone straight in with the sandwiches. 

Luke stares at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. His eyes pierce through my soul and give me a sense of comfort. They lift a weight of my shoulders and chest that I hadn’t even noticed were there. His eyes feel like coming home. Comfortable. A place to relax. A place to be me, be myself. 

I heave in a deep breath and place my juice box on my nervously bouncing knee, holding it with my hand. It doesn’t stop the bouncing, so now my whole body is practically shaking along with the movement. 

“I–” I stop myself, reconsidering my words. “My childhood wasn’t the sunshine and roses it’s supposed to be.” I chuckle nervously and when I meet Luke’s eyes again, they’re looking at me with such intent that I almost launch forward and kiss him. But I don’t. 

“Mom was… difficult to live with…” I start cautiously,  not even daring to look at Luke as I speak and keep my eyes on the still lake in front of us. “She uhm… After I was born, she kinda went into postnatal depression. She didn’t take care of me, she barely even looked at me… At one point, it went so far that she got into an accident, on purpose, with me in the back. She did it a few times, even, to the point where dad just had to report it. She was admitted to the psych ward and that was that... I was ten at the time.” I swallow to hold back the tears that are pricking behind my eyes. 

Feeling a soft brush of the hand on my knee, I glance up, meeting Luke’s eyes. They give me that sense of comfort again, that sense of home, the reassurance that I’m okay. 

“We haven’t really seen her since. She’s out of our lives…” I sniffle and place my hand over Luke’s, giving it a thankful squeeze. “I don’t like talking about it.” 

Luke carefully laces his fingers through mine, his cold rings cooling my warm hand. “I’m sorry I brought it up.” I shrug dismissively. “But thank you for telling me.” 

“So, tell me,” I lift our entwined hands for a second as though pulling us back into reality. “How did Sunset Curve-slash-Julie and The Phantoms came to be?” 

Luke chuckles before engulfing our locked hands with his other and tumbling into the origin story of the bands he was in. He talks about meeting Reggie and Alex in primary school, and then meeting Bobby in middle school. He explains how they started the band in music class and then continued playing together until Bobby moved away from Los Angeles. The story then lapses into giggles and chuckles about all the things they tried to keep Sunset Curve alive, but terribly failed. 

“But then we met Julie in high school and – the rest is history.” 

We’re clearing up our mess before making our way back towards the car. I love hearing Luke talk, especially about the band. It makes his eyes light up and he gets all bouncy and enthusiastic. It’s the cutest side of Luke I ever did see in the past few days of hanging out with  him.

I take one last look at the lake where tiny dots of humans are floating along on the lake in their tiny boats. There are just a few, so nothing to worry about, but it does make me want to go kayaking too. Mostly because I don’t want the day to end. 

“Wanna go kayaking?” I ask Luke, pulling him to a halt by tugging at our still intertwined hands. His eyes dart from mine to the lake and back. I can tell he’s debating it, but then he nods and a smile appears on his face. 

With our hands intertwined, we go back to the rental place and ask the woman for a double kayak. We pay, put on the safety vests she’s given us and then proceed onto the water. As we pedal along, Luke tells me about all the adventures he’s been on with his friends and how he used to do this all the time before his schedule got so crazy. 

Every now and again, he stops and pretends to tip the kayak, making me squeal each and every time whilst he laughs his most maniacal laugh. 

The wall I’d built around my heart was slowly crumbling. Every laugh, every touch, every glance took away a small part of the brick wall. I’m falling in love with the boy I’d had a crush on and then strongly disliked for a good five-ish days. 

Getting distracted was not a good idea as I’m not prepared for what follows next. Luke pretends to tip it over again, but this time, he wobbles too hard and actually makes the boat topple overhead. I squeal, but quickly shut my mouth as I tumble into the water, making sure not too much of the lake’s contents gets into my body. 

“Patterson!” I scowl as I crash the surface again and find Luke laughing a few feet away. His brown, shaggy hair sticks to his head, dripping small drops of water onto his face. If I wasn’t so angry at him, I would definitely kiss him right here, right now. 

“I hate you!” I splash some water at him as the words roll off my lips. Luke’s laughter abruptly stops and he stares at me. His once glistening eyes dull down while his mouth falters into a frown. 

“You do?” 

My face softens as I watch him. He looks so beautiful with his hair all dishevelled and the reflection of the sun on the water mirroring onto his face. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. 

I swim closer towards him and stroke his wet hair out of his face. My breath hitches in my throat at how close we are but I try to play it off by keeping my hands on his face and my eyes locked with his. I notice his eyes flicking down to my lips a few times, telling me he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him. 

Should I? Full throttle? Or step on the brakes? 

I don’t even get the time to think about it as Luke presses his lips to mine. Now I don’t hesitate a single moment and immediately kiss him back. Sliding my hands into his wet locks and pressing my body as close as I can, I melt entirely into him. The same sense of bliss I have when singing with Luke washes over me and I find myself on cloud 9 again.  

We pull back after a moment to catch our breath. The glint in his eyes is back and his mouth, though a little swollen and red, curls up into a smile. He presses one more kiss to my nose before helping me towards the shore. We climb out of the water and bring the boat back to the rental place, along with our safety vests. 

Grabbing my backpack I had left with the woman for safekeeping, Luke and I bid our goodbyes and leave the rental, intertwining our hands again. The feeling his hand in mine gives me will never get old. 

As we get to the car again, I yawn, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over me. Luke smiles upon noticing this and takes the keys from my hand. Wordlessly, he presses a kiss to my forehead and then leads me to the passenger side. He opens the door and lets me get in before shutting the door and jogging to the other side. 

The car is filled with a comfortable silence, just the crackling of a song playing on the radio filling out the quietness. I rest my head against the headrest and glance at Luke every now and again as he drives Sabrina. He has that one-hand feel on the steering wheel and the other rest comfortably in mine on the gearshift. 

“I had a lot of fun today,” I mumble, unable to speak any louder. 

A smile etches its way to Luke’s face. “Me too.” He takes a quick glance at me and then lifts our hands to plant a kiss on my knuckles. “Our band’s house is closer, you want to stop there and get us dry before you go home?” 

I hum softly, letting my eyes fall shut for a moment. Luke’s thumb grazing the back of my hand almost lulls me to sleep until he curses before the car comes to a halt. He pulls his hand away from mine and when I look up, the driveway and street in front of the enormous white-brick house is filled with dozens of cars. 

“Fuck, I forgot about the album wrap party,” he grumbles and then looks over at me. I’m shivering from the cold and exhaustion. “I can’t let you drive home like that.” 

I’m unsure if he’s talking to me or pondering out loud, but I shake my head instead. “It’s fine,” I say. “My house isn’t that far away… I think…” 

“No, y/n. I’m not letting you drive home exhausted and cold.” His voice is stern, yet laced with a bit of worry. “You’re gonna come in and I’m– I’m gonna bring you up to my room. You can dry off there and maybe take a nap or something. Yeah! Yeah, that’s it!” He sounds way too excited about something so banal. 

He hops out of the car and quickly jogs over to my side whilst I’m already opening the door. Before I could react, he tugs me towards the house. I can barely get my bearings or take the time to look where I’m going before I’m pulled into a room. 

“There are shirts and joggers in the dresser over there, pick out whichever you like and then take a nap or something. I’ll be back before you know it.” He kisses my cheek and then dashes towards the door. 

“You’re just gonna leave me here?” 

He lets go of the door handle and slowly turns towards me. His eyes are laced with regret as he takes in the sight in front of him. I must look ridiculous with my hair and clothes wet and bags under my eyes. 

“Please, y/n? I can’t have people know about us, okay? I just – can’t…” 

Turning on his heel, he opens the door and leaves me in his bedroom all alone. I take a minute to let the information process in my brain before turning around and taking in the room I’m in. 

The walls are painted white, except for the one wall behind his bed that’s a muted dark blue. His bed is king size and on either side is a nightstand. I inch closer to the one that’s actually filled with stuff, which I’m assuming is the one he uses most. Nightstand contents often tell a lot about a person. His contains the band’s autobiography, “Bruce Springsteen: All The Songs” and “Beach Read” by Emily Henry, the book I started the other week and shared on Instagram Stories. 

Would he have seen that and decided to read it too? 

Shaking the ridiculous thought out of my head, I move over to his dresser and take out a pair of joggers and his Rush muscle tank I’ve seen him in many a time during gigs. I peel my drenched clothes off my body and get into Luke’s freshly washed ones. They smell of his laundry products. It’s a fresh and calming scent.

For a while, I look around his room. The books on the shelves and the pictures on the walls, most of which of the band and some of him and Carrie Wilson. There had been a rumor about him dating the Instagram Influencer, but I’d never believed it until I saw her face pop up in some of the framed photos in his room. 

I decide to go and venture about the house since all the commotion seems to be outside in the garden. I weave through hallway upon hallway, finding more photos and more things that belong to the band. The living room walls are adorned with platinum records and other awards they’d won over the two years they’d been active in the music industry. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride rush over me. That’s my favorite band right there. That’s the boy I’ve fallen in love with. 

“Excuse me – Who are you?” 

The voice makes me jump out of my skin. I thought everyone was outside. When I look up, I find the perfectly flawless face of Carrie Wilson. Her long, blonde hair cascades into curls down her shoulders and back while her round, brown eyes stare at me with intent and curiosity. 

“Oh, sorry. I’m y/n. I–” I stop myself, remembering Luke didn’t want anyone to know about us. That includes his girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend. 

Carrie’s mouth curls up into an amused, curious smile, catching onto what’s happening. “You’re Luke’s new adventure, aren’t you?” I huff out the breath I was holding. It’s a telling huff, I’m sure. “You are…” She trails off and inspects me for a second before continuing. “Just so you know, it’s not going to work. Luke’s too infatuated with this lifestyle of his. He loves his job, he loves his stardom. He loves it too much to ever focus on a partner. Believe me, we tried.” 

I exhale at the use of her past tense, but then all the other information downs on me. Luke’s life is so much different from mine. While I work several jobs to pay for college and still live with my dad, he lives by himself and tours the world. He’s too busy to start anything serious with me. Whatever happened in the last few days was just temporary. 

“You seem sweet, y/n, so I’m going to be frank. Get out before it’s too late. You’re only gonna get hurt if you’re gonna stay.” As she passes me, she places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  

If my brain wasn’t going a mile a second about everything she’s telling me, I would be caught off guard by how sweet Carrie Wilson is. She’s always portrayed as this complete ego-centric bitch who used people to her advantage. 

The exhaustion taking over, I shuffle back upstairs and sit down on Luke’s bed but when I hear the commotion outside die down and guitar strums float through the air into the house, I grow curious. I get up from the bed and make a beeline towards the ceiling-to-floor glass doors that give out onto a balcony. I carefully open the door and step out, the summer breeze tickling my skin while Luke’s voice reaches my ears. 

The balcony looks out onto the garden, it’s just out of sight from where everyone’s huddled up around the band. I lean my elbows on the bannister and watch on as Luke’s voice floated through the air. 

“I'm no superman I can take your hand And fly you anywhere you wanna go, yeah I can read your mind Like a billboard sign And tell you everything you wanna hear, but I'll be your hero”

I smile at the memory of us in the studio yesterday. The last few days have been perfect. Just… Perfect. And now this girl has to come and ruin it by pulling me back into reality. 

“Cause I, I can be everything you need If you're the one for me, like gravity, I'll be unstoppable I, yeah I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy without his soul But if you're the one for me Then I'll be a hero Oh, I'll be a hero, yeah I'll be a hero”

It’s not that Carrie isn’t right. She is. Luke is way too busy with the band and his fame and everything around it. He doesn’t have time or room between those things for me. Not for an ordinary girl. Not for anyone. 

“So incredible Some kinda miracle That when it's meant to be, I'll become a hero, oh So I'll wait, wait, wait, wait for you”

Luke’s eyes meet mine as he hits that high note and his mouth curls up into that beautiful smile I’ve come to love. Once again, I’ve fallen in love with someone who would never reciprocate those feelings. If I don’t get out now, I’m going to get hurt. 

“Yeah I'll be a hero Cause I, I can be everything you need If you're the one for me, like gravity, I'll be unstoppable I, yeah I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy without his soul But if you're the one for me I'll be a hero Yeah, yeah I'll be a hero, yeah I'll be a hero Hero”

As the last notes of his song ring out into the night, I grab my still wet clothes and my keys Luke left on the dresser, and then leave the house. My heart breaks with every step I take, but I know it’s what’s best for me. It’s what’s best for both of us. There’s no room for me in his life. Like he said, he’s no superman, he can’t handle this many things at once. Not even a hero would be able to.  

Everything taglist:

@wanniiieeee @phantompogues 

JATP taglist:

@hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @charliesmountains @thedarkqueenofavalon @calamitykaty @caitsymichelle13 @wiselight @kcd15 @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @stars-soph @kinda-really-lost @notasofti @stellasmusa @n0wornever @kaitieskidmore1 @tefilovesreading @pxperphxntom @crybabyddl @crybabyddl @headheartbellarke @authentic-gillespie @happinessinthedarkesttimes @bright-molina @rangerelik @cordeliascrown @willex-owns-my-heart @fangirlangioma @frickin-bats @flower-name @jaskiers-sweetkiss @jandthephantoms @kelpwithawhy  @the-hufflepuff-hunter @lookingthroughmirrors @buckybarnesishot310 @echocharm17618 @littlemissaddict @mystic-writings @joynerxmercer @brooke0297 @magicalxdaydream @musicianspiritsblog @bexxy @ruvaitkevicius @whitetigerlover17 @stressyanddepressysimp  @talk-on-the-street @theolivekiddo @sunsetcurvej @teti-menchon0604 @candycornmgg @gray_jato

Charlie/Luke taglist: 

@lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​ @rachmmb​ @whitemanshoe19​ @killerqueenfan​ 

TAGLIST |  MASTERLIST 

[mylordshesacactus]

plantser questionnaire marathon

What is the first thing you do when you start working on a new WIP?

Generally, I'll do a quick bullet-point "outline" of the scenes I want to include to make sure I don't leave any out. (My default setting is scrapbook-style oneshots, so this is pretty relevant!) These are EXTREMELY informal and probably incomprehensible to anyone but me. Because most of my oneshot ideas started out as chatting with friends or a tumblr post, they'll often have little dialogue snippets that occurred to me as relevant to the theme or situation but don't have any context; I'll toss any particularly effective or witty or just profoundly in-character lines--anything where I love the exact phrasing and don't want to lose it--up as their own bullet points.

If it's particularly plot-heavy or intricate, or if I'm struggling to go from an outline to actual prose, I'll add sub-bullets to brainstorm and lay out the scene more precisely to give me a better roadmap.

These "outlines" can get a little more detailed if it's a multichapter. I'll divide them first into rough chunks, less strict chapter divides and more "here's what happens in Act 1". Then I'll...start writing, and if one scene ends up longer or more detailed than I expected, I'll rearrange how I divided the scenes. Sometimes this results in me writing a scene, developing it in more detail and realizing that it could very naturally include all the important aspects I'd allocated to a different scene, so I'll combine what would have been two weak chapters into one strong one.

What is the most important question to answer about your characters?

What wouldn't they do?

This can be a moral question, of course--what's the line your character won't cross? What would make them less nobly just say no, you're not paying me enough for that? Conversely, what level of selflessness would they balk at or view with disdain--a character who'd be totally fine with a genuinely mutually beneficial arrangement, for example, might sneer at an arrangement where he got something he wanted but the other person got something they needed, because that exchange wasn't equally balanced so he thinks he got cheated.

But it doesn't have to be a big deep question.

Usually, if you're stuck when writing because you don't know what a character would do next or how they'd respond, you can get a lot of traction out of going "okay, well, what WOULDN'T they do?" and then thinking about the answer.

Like. It's easy to say well, this character absolutely would never go to the criminal organization from canon for help...but would they? Are you sure? Luke Skywalker went to every effort to make a peaceful deal with Jabba because the backup plan was incredibly risky. Robyn Hill hates the Atlesian military, but was willing to work with them in the interest of making real change on the Council; and when the heat went off in Mantle, she shelved her pride instantly and begged for help to save civilian lives.

What wouldn't they do? And how sure are you?

What are three things you have to have during a writing session?

Time, relative quiet, and a stream-of-consciousness outlet.

I don't enjoy writing under pressure and tend to get engrossed when I hit my flow, so even if I only intend to write for an hour or so I can't be trying to cram it into a limited time at the end of which I have to do something else. I can write until bedtime because that's a natural endpoint and I'm tired and would be stopping anyway, but I can't "write before bedtime" because that's a time limit. My partner will frequently go "I just need to write 500 words and then bed" but I absolutely can't do that.

I say "relative" quiet because dead silence is unpleasant, and because @alexkablob and I have discovered that we can cowrite just fine (and in fact better) while on a Skype call together. However, I cannot write independently while on a call, and I can't write with music unless it's EXTREMELY unobtrusive. I had decent results playing spaghetti western soundtracks in the background while working on Bellwether, but even then I frequently had to pause it or switch to a different track when the music got too intense.

(I have sensory processing issues where my brain physically cannot filter out background noise if it's rhythmic or has a pattern. Music or voices force my brain to pay attention to it, making it impossible to write because my attention is split. So, background music rather than full instrumental themes--music designed to play under dialogue without distracting from it--can actually be great!)

And a stream-of-consciousness outlet. Sometimes a "scratch notes" document is enough for this--something I can tab over to and jot down random dialogue that I just thought of, or a plot concept, or the solution to a problem, without having to organize it. And I write best when I can talk about what I'm doing to someone without involving auditory input--just today I was building a D&D puzzle and was able to focus on it better when I could occasionally tab over to a chat with friends who aren't in the campaign, so I could talk about what I was doing. It keeps my momentum up and keeps me excited. My original writing doc has like five people who've got access to it just so that they can see what I'm doing and help me keep interest in the ongoing project.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Mac

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You first meet Mac when you stop by to check on Valerie after she called you the night before, telling you all about what happened with her and Ted.

- You and her had been friends for a while and you decided you were going to try to cheer her up or at least make sure she was okay after such a rough night. Although when you got there you were greeted with the completely unexpected; trashed house, an interesting contraption in the pool and three furry guys roaming around your best friends living room.

- Immediately upon seeing them you dropped your things and froze; they turned around when they heard the thudding on Valerie’s carpet. All of them got up and started to move towards you in curiosity.

- You were about ready to faint before Valerie came into the room, saw you and ushered the aliens back onto the couch. Meanwhile you had quickly picked up your things and rushed out of there with Valerie hot on your heels trying to explain what you had just seen.

- She slowly coaxed you back into the house where you were properly introduced to the three extraterrestrials.

- Of course Wiploc immediately tried to “flirt” with you. Him and Zeebo probably freaked you out more than you already were before Mac and Valerie managed to get them to act “normal”.

- You went with Valerie to the salon where you got to see the guys once they were madeover. Like Valerie you were practically speechless when they came out especially once you saw Mac; neither of you were expecting a washboard stomach and the face of a movie star.

- Mac pretty much trails after you like a lost puppy when you arrive at the club (and everywhere else you go), trying to get to know you better with his limited understanding of the English language and people as a whole.

- The only time he leaves your side is when Valerie walks off and after he follows her you sort of assume he was only around you because you were next to Valerie.

- After Valerie tells him about what she and most girls want; a Mr. right, he goes to you and asks if he could be someone’s Mr. right (hint hint cough cough). You grow a little flustered but think he’s talking about Valerie so you awkwardly tell him yes and list off a few reasons why.

- Each reason makes him smile a little more and gets him to move closer to you before you ultimately excuse yourself to go sulk; confusing him as he’s left standing on his own and wondering if he did something wrong.

“He’s an alien, you’re from the valley. It could never work out anyway, you shouldn’t bother getting upset about it. This whole thing is crazy!” You keep telling yourself. But that doesn’t help the fact that your heart still races everytime you see him and that you are still indeed upset when you see him looking at your best friend.

- You still hang out with him and the gang all the while pretending you aren’t falling for him harder and harder every minute.

- Mac tends to watch you a lot, it’s because he’s amazed by you and your beauty but you just assume he’s interested in you because you’re human and a foreign being to him.

- One night as you were hanging out; alone together for the first time in a while, he asked you why you were single amongst other personal questions. He can’t help but smile as he listens to you describe your ideal man and the dreams you’ve had about that special someone since you were young.

- You begin to realize that your idea of a perfect man is just him; so you finally decide to confess no matter the outcome. Slowly, you start to finish your sentence getting quieter and quieter until you end it with “I guess I’m looking for someone like… you.”

“I am your mr. Right?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you smile nervously. “Yeah, I think you are.”

- You watch as he smiles at you and stay still as he begins to lean in, letting his lips meet yours as his hand comes to hold your cheek.

- And from that point on, you began your inter-species relationship with the extraterrestrial.

- Wiploc tries to flirt with you a lot and usually thinks it’s funny when Mac reprimands him even though it doesn’t always happen. Mostly because Wiploc has the mentality of a five year old and 90% of the time his flirting is half jokingly asking for a kiss when he barely understands what a kiss is.

- Observing his weird quirks.

- Being amazed by his different, odd abilities. He just gives you a sheepish smile when he catches you watching.

- He’s probably the best man you’ve ever dated purely because he isn’t a man and hasn’t been contaminated by earthly society.

- Whenever you’re out on the town you sometimes have to remind him that normal humans cannot do certain things that him and other aliens can. Be prepared to watch that he isn’t making anyone suspicious.

- He doesn’t understand your insecurities. What’s the big deal about some markings on your skin or the fact that you have a different body shape then those around you? He’s seen all kinds of humans look all sorts of ways, isn’t looking different a normal thing with humans?

- Even though he doesn’t understand he helps you with them and reassures you whenever you get upset.

- What do you mean sex is taboo, why?

- Oh and what’s better than sex? Sex with an alien that can give you sexy time psychedelics.

- Helping him rehearse being human when you have to go somewhere important.

- He tends to mimic you when you do something he’s never seen/heard before like a gesture, facial expression or some kind of phrase. It’s really kind of cute.

- He copies a lot of things from tv.

Wow that compliment seems awfully familiar.

(Cut to you watching some rom com) That adorable motherfucker

- Travelling to space with him at some point, even if you don’t stay forever.

- Wiploc and Zeebo are pains in the ass but you can’t help but love them. Mac usually makes sure to keep them in line, especially when they try to run off or flirt (too much) with you.

- Always listens very closely to what you say. If you think you’ve been “heard” in the past, just you wait until you talk with him.

- Hand holding, he loves when you grab his hand in public even though it’s probably just to keep him with you and make sure he doesn’t wander off.

- Only has eyes for you, he’s completely disinterested in anyone else and he’ll quickly go over to your side whenever he can get away from the person keeping him from you.

- Even after you start dating he still stares at you a lot and you really don’t know why; you just hope it’s for a good reason. It’s because he’s absolutely in love with you.

- Loves affection, like he can never get enough or give enough.

- He tries very hard to impress you especially before you’re dating. Oh you’re stopping by Valerie’s, well it just so happens he’s shirtless and covered in grease while working on the ship. You think the guy in the tv is strong? Watch this!

- Listening to stories about his planet and space, more often then not its the soundtrack of your dreams.

- He’s honestly fascinated by you, even after you’ve been dating a while he’s still caught off guard by how amazing you can be.

- He always wants the best for you even if it’s not with him.

- But lets be honest would you even dare dump an alien especially when they look and act like Mac?

- Listening to his double heartbeat.

- He loves holding you to his chest whenever you’re laying in bed. He’s very cuddly for someone who really shouldn’t understand the concept of snuggling.

- Picking you any little flower he sees and is allowed to grab or can grab without anyone noticing.

- You need help? He’s always there for you.

- If you ever want anything fixed he’ll definitely give it a try even if he goes into it not really knowing what he’s doing. He’ll pick up a book from the library, touch a few of the pages and go to work. It usually only takes him about an hour to get whatever’s broken fixed.

- Be prepared to get alien upgrades on your home appliances.

- He can get sort of jealous but more often then not he just gets confused as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Before you realized what it meant it always confused you whenever you’d catch him standing or sitting beside you with a puzzled look on his face.

- He’s very sympathetic and he likes helping you with your problems so don’t feel like you’re being annoying whenever you rant to him. You could never be a burden in his eyes.

- He’s very touchy so you’ll end up having to swat his hands away a lot.

- Always trying to keep his hands on any part of you. It’s your job to decide when it’s because he wants you to himself or when it’s because he doesn’t want to get lost. (Spoiler alert: you cant ever really tell!)

- Trying to stifle your giggles when you hear his odd combinations of slang. Sometimes he purposefully strings together weird sentences just to see you try to hold back a smile.

“Miss Dude”

- He always tries to make you happy no matter what it takes.

- He loves seeing you; he could never get tired of looking at your face or being around you. You’re basically his home now so whenever he’s homesick he just looks at you.

- Hand kisses. He used to think it was just how humans addressed each other so he’d kiss your hand every time he saw you but now he realizes there’s more to it than that. Since he’s learned that there’s; usually, intimacy behind it he tries to do it even more now and reserves the action only for you.

- Listening to him play piano. He memorizes your favorite songs by heart(s).

- Gifts from space whenever he has to leave earth. You have a shelf full of moon rocks and alien plants.

- Be sure to keep a razor and some Nair handy for emergencies.

- He’s a natural at modeling for photos but the smolder he tends to have in them is literally just him squinting from the flashing light.

- He likes when you take him shopping with you, especially when it’s clothes shopping. He finds it fun when you style him even though he doesn’t really care for fashion all that much.

- For an alien he sure can kiss. He will literally kiss you until you’re weak in the knees and then some.

- Sitting between his legs with your back on his chest while you listen to him tell you about the stars.

- I feel like he’d have cat-like tendencies; head nuzzling, purring, etc.

- You’ll probably have to deal with a long distance relationship for a little while; it’s only a matter of time before he’ll have to return to his home planet for something.

- The instant he learns what “I love you” actually means he starts telling you it constantly and gets really excited when you say it back.

- Mac would have “proposed” to you (or the alien equivalent) the day he met you so rest assured he’s in it for the long run.

- And plus, an intergalactic wedding must be pretty interesting, right?

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Oct 26)

Recently Completed!

Tokyo Godfathers

Score: 10/10

There’s a reason why I gave this such a rare high rating. When I was watching it, I was internally like, “*excitement noises* I have not been this excited over an anime in such a long time, let alone for an anime movie. EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN WATCH THIS EVEN IF I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING.”

It’s not often that you come across really good movies, let alone masterpieces like this movie. The art is so good, the story made me feel like it was Christmas in October, and the characters really made me connect. 

I know the subtitles used a whole lot of gay slurs and things like that, but Hana (the trans character in this tale) is treated well if we get past that huge hurdle. She truly owns up to herself. She doesn’t care what she’s called. She gets mad at people who misgender her. She gets mad if she’s forced to go to a men’s facility. She wants people to call her “an old hag” rather than “an old coot”. She just wants to be a mother even if she isn’t “biologically a woman” who can bear children. So when she comes across this kid, she thinks, “I will finally be a mother!” These are issues that real people face. These are issues that cisgendered people take for granted.

Madhouse really knocked it out of the park. Satoshi Kon is one of the biggest creators and directors in anime history. He’s known for horror and psychological works like Perfect Blue, Paprika, and Millennium Actress. I never expected him to be this good at making a movie that could move my soul like this. The characters were so far from perfect, yet I wanted the best for each of them. The way it handled everything was masterful. The dialogue worked so well and was witty, the voice actors (despite the main three not being in anything else for the most part) were so good at giving life to their characters, and the art blew me away in 2019 even though this was released in 2003. The only thing I didn’t quite like as much was the score during some parts of the movie, but it was subjectively good and just wasn’t to my taste (the Noragami soundtrack wasn’t a fav of mine either). 

Just... watch the movie. If you can watch it around Christmas. It’s good for you.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

Score: 7.4/10 

Yes, I binge-watched all 39 episodes in two days, what’s it to ya?! In reality, I just boosted the speed of the video.

Me throughout this show: Why do you all have triangle heads? What’s with that?

Okay, it’s the art style, and a lot of shoujo anime go with the concept that it looks good. Once you get over the art hurdle making me believe this was created in the early 2000s despite it being 3 years younger than Tokyo Godfathers, this turns out to be a really nice show. I just can’t believe they’re BOTH from Madhouse. 

Remember Snow White with the Red Hair? Remember Akatsuki no Yona? If you liked those shows, you’re going to like this one... except it relies more on the political plot. It’s mostly about a woman wanting to pursue her dreams of being a politician in a male-dominated world. She’s entasked with helping this mess of a king to get his act together, and as much as I can try to prove that it’s surprisingly progressive (given the art and genre), I think that’d be spoiling it a little. The only character that actually bothered me was the prince who was voiced by Tomokazu Seki who honestly was a bit annoying and sounded so fake for me. However, this anime made me appreciate Hikaru Midorikawa’s voice as well as Houko Kuwashima who I’ve only heard voicing dead moms and only a few good characters here and there. Seriously, both of their voices are great. Toshiyuki Morikawa sounds good too, but we already knew that. I don’t like the OP or ED (or a whole lot of the music), but that’s the case for a lot of these 2005-era anime. Just like a lot of the anime on MAL, I do think this is an underrated show, but it does have its pitfalls if you’re just craving for a quick shoujo without any politics.

Full Metal Panic: Second Raid

Score: 7/10

I binge-watched this entire season while my parents were out for dinner and something else. It only took me a couple of hours because I boosted the speed.

I wanted to get a gif specifically from this season, so this one will have to do. So much wasted potential will this character (who’s one of two twins). I know they were trying to play the whole “twincest” thing, but I’m personally not a fan. They provided some cool fight scenes even at a certain cringe cost. The fact that Kyoto Animation animated this bumped the art from a 3 to an 8. It’s crazy how much the quality jumped after a new studio took over. Unfortunately, they didn’t take care of the next season. I know the main ship in the series is pretty clear, but this season made it closer to canon (too bad it took around 13 years to make the next season).

Kara no Kyoukai (movies: 5, 6, 7)

Score:  Part Five: 7.5/10 Part Six: 5.8/10 Part Seven: 8.2/10

Not gonna lie, I watched the first four movies over a year ago and retained nothing. I had to read the Wikia to assist me and to begin with, I watched this to get into the “Type-Moon” universe (which consists of this and the Fate nonsense stuff), Yuki Kajiura’s score, and Maaya Sakamoto and Kenichi Suzumura voicing a couple. The score would probably change if I’d watched them regularly, but I digress because I watched movies 5-7 in one afternoon. Ufotable was pretty good at animating this and the voice acting worked really well. Yuki Kajiura’s music didn’t hit well at first when I was first watching the first few movies over a year ago because it wasn’t what I envisioned the score being, but once you get into the mood and mindset, it adds so much to the story. Although, I still really didn’t like part six. I thought it was a complete flop because I just want to get rid of anyone who believes i*cest is an okay thing. This isn’t Alabama. Go home. Not else to say here because this took so much commitment that I doubt anyone would watch it.

Paranoia Agent

Score: 8.6/10

With spoopy month coming to a close (already?!) I watched this anime earlier this month, but I forgot to write about it. That’s partly because there’s so much to unpack here. This was a thriller, psychological, horror anime by Satoshi Kon. That’s right, the first anime above was also done with him in the director’s seat. This anime was smart. There’s a reason why Robin Williams likes it! It was scary in the best of ways. It revealed a part of society that we see all the time but don’t talk about (especially in Japanese society where emotions are better kept concealed). Just the opening alone made me feel uneasy. The OP and ED were simplistic yet worked. I binge-watched the whole series because it was that gripping. 

It was a little confusing at times, but that’s also because that’s just a common thing with horror anime. That suspense keeps us going. It keeps us on the edge of our seats. Who’s going to be the next victim of Shounen Bat? Episode 8 came out of nowhere for me, and I liked it. There were several scenes that sent shivers down my spine in the best way possible. It isn’t always “scary”, but it gives suspense.

Aoi Bungaku

This one is going to be reviewed a little differently. Since it has specific arcs, I’m going to review them as such!

Ningen Shikkaku: 8.2/10

We start off with a bang. Osamu Dazai was a man of suffering. This story really shows that. In this story, we see a man who’s desperate to know what makes him human. We see this through the eyes of a fictional character, but I personally view this as a semi-autobiography.

The art was chilling. The voice acting from Masato Sakai was surprisingly good. A lot of the time, voice acting from live-action actors just aren’t that great. Every time you think this character will get back on his feet, he falls deeper and deeper. It truly did make me wonder what made me human.

Sakura no Mori no Mankai no Shita: 3.9/10

That moment when the only thing that saves this arc is Nana Mizuki’s singing. Seriously, her jazz songs were awesome. Can’t say that about the rest. I mean, the art is good, but it’s Madhouse so most of their stuff is already good. The story wasn’t that original. Mind you, this was probably during a period where foreign influence was strong, and I haven’t read the original story, but... this is basically Salome (the opera) with some differences. Both have a crazy woman with a fixation over lifeless decapitated heads. Both have men that are captivated with her beauty so they give her what she wants because of that reason alone, they both murder religious people (monk/shrine maiden and a prophet), and both eventually realize that women can be crazy when they demand a lifeless head because you know, that’s just a red flag. Above all, it suffers from tonal shifts. You can’t have a woman turning moe then demand you bring her another head to play with. You can’t have Masato Sakai playing another main character that doesn’t fit him! Seriously, he doesn’t have the voice of a brute and just couldn’t do it. Overall, this arc was a mess, and I’m glad it was one of the shorter ones.

Kokoro: 7.6/10

This looked like a masterpiece compared to the last arc. I haven’t read Kokoro, but this made me go, “Huh, I don’t remember this happening.” That’s because they chose a certain part of the book (near the end apparently) and just went off that and created its own anime-original episode. Despite that, it was pretty good! There were some screaming discrepancies which did hurt its impression (because it made it feel out of place to the point where even I, as an uneducated anime viewer, could clearly see).

(I think this is from Kokoro but I might be wrong)

Hashire, Melos!: 8.9/10

Would you look at that? It’s the best arc of the series. Hashire, Melos was great. It had me going from beginning to end, and it’s the only arc that doesn’t have Masato Sakai playing the lead character. The art, the pacing, the storytelling, the story, the sound, the voice acting, and the art direction complemented each other so well. It made me far more interested in the original. 

The Spider’s Thread: 6.6/10

If you look really close, you’ll notice that the creator of Bleach took over character design for this! It was okay. I found that it was a little cliche and lacklustre. Mamo is around so much that you probably have to do more than that to keep my attention, and this had the art going for it too. It just wasn’t that interesting. A heartless murderer is sent to hell after being executed. Moral of the story: Don’t be an asshole. Alright. Nice. I do understand that Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was one of the main establishers of the whole “Japanese Short Story” thing, but after seeing it so many times, I just didn’t get that same chill.

Hell Screen: 6.9/10 

Another Akutagawa short story! This one had far more of an impact because this one hit closer to Akutagawa’s heart. Knowing the history of this piece of writing, you can see his desperation to stay relevant and true to his craft. It’s about a painter who wants to paint the town but finds out the city isn’t the bright light he sees in his mind. Everything goes ablaze. The art for this is stunning. I probably would’ve enjoyed this story more if it was placed in the middle of the series run rather than being the last story. 

Recently Started

Africa no Salaryman

The animation for this is terrible. There is no way around it. However, at least it’s funny. Still, close to being on the chopping block. It has the papa lion who’s played by Akio Ohtsuka, the straight-man middle lizard played by Kenjirou Tsuda, and the scumbag toucan played by Hiro Shimono. Yes, they all play Hero Academia villains. The jokes are pretty good for me.

Given

Oh, would you look at that? It’s a music anime. *inhales* Music anime is a double-edged sword for me. I like having music interpreted and portrayed through one of my favourite mediums, but I don’t like them playing off music as some sort of easy gimmick and a joke. It’s like a shonen montage. “Let’s just have this guy train for two minutes and become a demigod”. But when you put an instrument into someone’s hand and demand the same, it sends me to another plane of angriness.  So far, the romance is kind of cute... but Mafuyu kind of annoys me since his role in the BL dynamic is so clear just by his voice. Same with Uchida. You can only play so many thugs a season. Kyou? Good. Chika? Good. This guy? Good, but don’t do them all back-to-back! I don’t like the BL dynamic being so basic. However, my mind can be changed if done right.

Shinsekai Yori

Very interesting premise, their eyes are cute, and I’m a sucker for these so I’m gonna stick with it.

[itsakpopalypse]

Jacob/ Zhang Peng Astrology: How he loves

A/N Oh hey it me bringing you another request. I have a few left in the queue so sorry if it takes me a couple days, thank you all for your requests!! Thanks so much for understanding!!

“Because your break downs are amazing, could you do a lover breakdown of Jacob from VAV? I know his chart has some great things in there! Thanks boo 😘" - @dotheddaengthing 

I got you !!  As always, 18+ below the cut!

I’m triggered and I haven’t even started the damn chart 

first I’d like to note his chart has a really pretty balance to it

there is a poetic, 3,2,3,2 to his element split also that I find really interesting. 

fire and air, considered “active” or positive Yang  elements. he has 2 of each

and the earth and fire, considered “passive” Negative Yin elements he has 3 of each

he has SO MANY cardinal placements so there are a few conclusions we can draw from this

FIRST OFF 

cardinal signs are known for being the embodiment of that element. He has Aries, Libra, Capricorn AND Cancer... meaning all 3 of the Cardinal signs make an appearance in his chart

that is really interesting to me.because the heavier emphasis on passive elements suggests an easy going reasonable personality and the active elements being not far behind but still lesser indicates he isn’t lazy or a doormat

and with that many cardinal placements, more than one of each, he is likely a really level headed person who is excellent at inciting action within himself

let’s talk details

his rising is Scorpio  we have talked about this rising Scorpios get your shit together

he is going to seem mysterious and interesting to people

you are going to have to PRY info out of him if you want more than a few tidbits and jokes

Scorpios don’t like to seem ‘weak’ and emotional  those words are not synonymous and water represents emotion im sorry scorpios accept you are a soft bitch deep down

he will likely rely on sarcasm in the beginning and being a Virgo won’t tamp down that impulse, he may come off as cold and unfeeling 

so if you’re trying to boo him up and he’s standing off more with you than others it’s probably because those walls are up in defense

Virgo sun

meticulous and clean, cautious and deep thinking

analyze analyze analyze

also Virgos get so hung up on details they’ll forget really simple concepts 

someone help him he is confused

this would be 1000% worse if his moon weren't the CARDINAL of  emotional feelings, Cancer

so he will second guess himself

it’ll be hard to get him to not be hard on himself

Virgos  are picky and savage but also incredibly mistrusting and self defeating

so outside is “I’m cool and have it together” and inside it’s 

“Can they tell I really like them omg stop it be like Elsa conceal don’t feel”

let it go, bro 

Cancer moon is going to win out in the end

if he likes you he will constantly be doing things for you

combining Virgo's detail oriented traits and Cancer’s incredible empathy means he knows you better than you know you

expect a confession of his to be right out of  your personal dreams

he is confident in what you need and he is willing to give it to you 

yaaaas girl get you that emotional support what a fricken dream

where can i get one

on the flip side you have to be very gentle with him they bruise easily

the tiniest thoughtless word will bounce around in his head for weeks he is fragile pls

in relationships he will probably be afraid to go past general flirtation

with confusion and teasing and you will have whiplash cause he will go from being nice and taking care of you to kind of stand offish and cold 

THANKS SCORPIO

So you’ll get some kind of long friendship where he likes  you so much but he can't Express it so he just kinda gets irritable or shy every time you're around

And if you confront him he'll blurt out the reason "I'm mad because I really like you!!! And you don't understand that I do and I'm scared! "

 And you'll be like 👀👀👀👀 You do???

And he's like *shy baby mode activate*

He might just like walk away embarrassed  if you don't put him at ease

Pls help this bb he is so shy

But once you do he will calm downAnd his instincts  will kick in

And it’s all "where's your jacket? Tch. Just take mine or whatever" (Its cause he wants to stake his claim do not believe him)

Mercury in Libra

literally one of the best signs for communicators

I am not just saying that as a Libra

for real, it’s in the scales

everything from a libra is like

“Well if you look at it from this perspective....”

it’s really hard to have a real fight with a Libra because fairness is the game

he will however be self sacrificing if it’s to avoid conflict and you might have to call to make drs appointments  and stuff cause they really don’t like to bother people

Venus in Cancer.... oh boy

so we know about cancer venus by now

emotional. thoughtful,supportive relationships

they don’t date casually in general because anything that doesn’t hit them on a soul deep level isn’t worth their time

so think affection wise this is putting the tips of his fingers in  your furthest pocket while he’s got you tucked into his side

talking quietly to you about the universe and his dreams

its cute

probably loves to snuggle and watch movies together

and probably will cry but if you say something he will say he didn’t

mars in Cancer 

sorry this means moody AF i don’t make the rules

cancers have a way of shifting moods 

so their drive to situations will fluctuate

you may have to be really supportive when he is being negative and when he is positive  again he will definitely make it up to you

relationships are give and take!!

18+ below get yo freak on if you legal

someone collect him seriously .

let’s get nasty

you know we start with that DAMN VENUS 

cause WHY IS IT CANCER SO MUCH

Cancer Venus's are a danger to genitalia everywhere 

I am actually ready to fight the next Cancer venus I see 

Controlling, jealous, and affectionate

combine this with virgo and cancer moon and you get a very, very strict, but very, very affectionate and soft daddy.

listen

what the hell

so this means he will probably be the type to stare deeply into your eyes, body looming over you, long powerful drags in and out that force the air from your lungs

RIP YOUR VAG

toy play?

yeah, toy play

Vibrators when you are bad 

probably aggressive, but in like,  a romantic way

when he beats your cervix to a pulp  makes love to you, he will mutter how much he loves you into your neck

soft wet whispers kissed into your skin

i imagine he’s like a biter but in the gentle way

more like nips all the way down your body in a playful way with his hands stretching over your waist

sensual emotional and possessive all at once

but sometimes 

if you make that cancer jealous

look out because the FULL possessive side will jump right out

marking and asking you who you belong to

goes emotionally soft for a moment if you beg

maybe nicknames in the sheets ?

remember possessive so there’s some indication he would want to leave you with something that only he could give you 

I am also thinking that he is the type to get you to cum multiple times

like if he is going to cum once you are getting at least 2

wants to make it so his touch is burned into your skin 

a poem of your heartbeat tattooed against your ribs 

your soft noises ringing in his ears

it’s his favorite soundtrack

aftercare is gonna be based on that Libra north node I think

so like. 

you are glued to him and not going anywhere. probably keeps a shirt under the bed to clean up the mess but he wants you skin to skin

if you must get up and walk around he wants you in one of his shirts with undies and nothing else

loves the sight of you wrapped in him

please I am on soft hours now how 

be good to this man cause he is a rough outside and soft inside 

he needs support and love and cuddles

A/N    okay! !

 I feel like i should make the disclaimer that this is my own analysis  based on the amount of info we have. could some of the chart be off (rising and moon can be affected by time of day) yeah. 

but this is for entertainment purposes and I am just messing around for fun, I know I state everything like fact but ... It’s for shits and giggles and I don’t want to write “maybe” and “probably” and put a disclaimer on every single thing. It’s all subjective and unsure. I hope no one is too upset by all that I am doing my best.

anyway I hope you enjoyed

I have a couple of requests left I am working on both thank you for your patience and I hope you stick around! I don’t mind having them in the queue if anyone wants to send anymore !!

[meadweos]

Hello! I’m Ellie, this is Dorcas and I hope you enjoy this trainwreck of a soft as all hell introduction to my babe. I’m super excited to be writing here okay byeeeeeeeee.

is that LILY JAMES wearing that HUFFLEPUFF scarf ? no, it appears to be DORCAS MEADOWES who happens to be a SEVENTH year and a MUGGLEBORN !! SHE is CISFEMALE, and i heard they’re COMPASSIONATE and BENEVOLENT but might also seem NAIVE and DAMAGED. they appear to be leaning towards the side of the ORDER, but this is a conversation we should be having somewhere else. ( ellie / nineteen / gmt / she/her )

TRIGGER WARNINGS : death, injury, hospital mention, dogs.

PART ONE. BASICS / MAGICAL FULL NAME & MEANINGS  : Dorcas ( GAZELLE ) Andromache ( MAN / BATTLE ) Meadowes ( LIVED IN OR NEAR A MEADOW. ) DATE OF BIRTH : November 16th. AGE : 17. ZODIAC SIGN : Scorpio. HEIGHT : 5 ft 7 in. EYE COLOR : Dark brown. LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED : Ambidextrous.  FAVORITE COLOR : Light blue / black. SCHOOL : Hogwarts. BLOOD STATUS : Muggleborn. WHAT ARE THEIR PARENTS JOBS? : Her mother was a stay-at-home tutor, and her father was a doctor. ( Her aunt is a therapist. Her uncle is a lawyer. ) DO THEY HAVE ANY MAGICAL BLOOD? : Not in her immediate family. Her fifth, twice removed, much, much older cousin is a wizard (of Emeric Switch fame! Imagine that!) HOW DID THEIR MAGIC FIRST MANIFEST ITSELF? : She wanted to talk to the dogs at the local pet store, and accidentally ‘phased’ through the door. She was found half an hour later just stroking a pitbull puppy which had latched itself onto her. YEAR : Seventh year. HOUSE : Hufflepuff. PATRONUS : Panda. ( THE PANDA IS A RESOURCEFUL ANIMAL, AND THOSE WITH IT AS A PATRONUS ARE THE SAME. THEY ARE GOOD AT USING WHATEVER IS AROUND THEM, AND INCREDIBLY CREATIVE AND BRIGHT. THEY ARE FRIENDLY AND WARM, AND MANY MAY GO TO THEM FOR ADVICE OR HELP, WHICH THE PANDA WILL WILLINGLY GIVE. THEY ARE A BIT OF A HEALER BY NATURE, ENJOYING COMPANY AROUND THEM AND USING IT TO ENHANCE THEMSELVES. THEY LOVE TO EXPLORE MANY AREAS OF KNOWLEDGE AND THE WORLD, TRYING TO BROADEN THEIR HORIZONS AND KEEP THEIR MINDS OPEN. ) BOGGART : Her father, sat in the same armchair he’d always loved. His head turned towards her as he tells her it was all her fault, and the room shrinks. UPDATED: Earlier, and for very good reason, I wrote a drabble centered around what her Boggart would be for a different roleplay. It’s different than what it is now, but I’m nevertheless extremely proud of it. You can read it here. AMORTENTIA : What is it about true love, dearest? What makes everyone go wild? Is it the prospect that someone, someone whole, and unflinching, is out there - waiting for you? Waiting for your embrace, your touch? Or is it just that they are tired - tired of making homes in people and receiving nothing back? You, though. You make homes in all manner of things. And, anyway, who decided homes can’t be humans? Who decided home is a stationary concept? That your heart can’t be held in the hands of many people, that it cannot be crushed and sewn back together in a matter of minutes? Who decided that love, that great big messy concept, has to be romantic? You are as messy in love as you are in life - that is to say, you build pieces of yourself from the people around you, from the pieces of themselves they give you. The skin beneath your ear? Composed of the whispers of secrets from your first boyfriend. Your nose? Your mother’s love. The inside of your wrist? The balm of Emmeline’s arms around your body, shielding you the only way she can.  No. It isn’t so impossible that love is greater than the romance. That love is so many more things. The Greeks of old always said there were many kinds of love. Eros. Agape. Philia. Storge. Ludos. Pragma. Philautia. It is these things that you, alone, recite in that dungeon. The cold seems to envelop you as you take in a breath, the tendrils of your senses magnifying. It can be overwhelming, you know, but you are not as surprised as you expect to be. Warmth, sinking between your fingertips, laps at your cheek, at your lips as you breathe out. It sticks to you, to your tongue. Like caramel and peanut butter, the batter of the cookies your aunt always makes, the s’mores that you made around the campfire just last week. Her hair, or is it her perfume (?) wafting in your direction - regardless, you stay rooted to your place. Daisies, growing wild, the way they had at home, in your back garden. The smell of old brick and something crumbling - that weird Dragonleather smell that stays in the air whenever Hagrid passes, the smell of bursting fireworks (that time that the Marauders hadn’t realized there was anyone still down the corridor) and butterbeer, warming. Your dogs breath, laughter bubbling up as you remark on the smell of toothpaste, on peppermint and mossy treebark.  You’re not surprised to smell all the things that make this place home - you’re not surprised to smell that it’s not made up of just one person - just one thing, fixable - but many. Moving parts that flare up and slide away into the background of your senses. WAND : Phoenix tail feather core. 9 inches. Black Walnut. PETS : Owl, named Athena. Also owns a pitbull, the light of her life, Agape ( LOVE AND AFFECTION ) or Aggie, for short. CHARACTER INSPIRATION : Cinderella, Sonya Rostova, Izzie Stevens, Craig Middlebrooks, Ann Perkins, Ella Lopez, Jess Day, Riley Matthews, Penelope Garcia, Kara Danvers, Capheus Onyango, and Jane Villanueva. ( CHARACTER TAG HERE. )

PART TWO. ARE YOU GOOD AT… DANCING? : I certainly try.  SINGING? : Yes! COOKING? : Somewhat. DUELING? : Never been better. STUDYING? : If my grades are anything to go by, yes. MAGIC? : Uh, I’d hope so.

PART THREE. HAVE YOU EVER… DRIVEN A CAR? : Yes. Not well, though. FALLEN IN LOVE? : … Yes. HAD SEX? : Yes. LAUGHED SO HARD YOU CRIED? : I don’t know anyone who enjoys their life who hasn’t. SMOKED? : ... No. DONE DRUGS? : Nope. BROKEN THE LAW? : Accidentally. KILLED SOMEONE? : No.

PART FOUR. LITTLE SECRETS BIGGEST FEAR : Losing everyone. And everything. SOMEONE YOU ADMIRE : Emme, McGonagall. SOMEONE YOU FEAR : I don’t really know. Dumbledore, when he’s mad. Whatever that ponce of a miserable Muggle hater is called. SOMEONE YOU MISS : Grandpa. Terry. My brother. Mum. Dad. SOMEONE YOU COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT : Emme. Myself, too. SOMEONE YOU COULD KILL : Anyone who hates muggles. DO YOU WANT KIDS? : Maybe someday. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? : To the right person? Yeah. BIGGEST REGRET : Not sleeping in the same room as my brother that night. ( I could have saved him. I should have saved him. ) CAN YOU SEE THESTRALS? : Yes.

PART FIVE. FINISH THIS SENTENCE I AM… : Sleepy. Wishing Emmeline was here. I WISH… : Ice-cream could become a person. MAYBE ONE DAY… : I won’t feel this guilt anymore. SOMETIMES I… : Fall in love in the morning, and out of it by lunch. MY FAVOURITE SUBJECTS ARE… : Herbology. MY LEAST FAVOURITE SUBJECTS ARE… : History of Magic, Divination. IF I COULD DO IT AGAIN, I WOULD… : Save my brother. IF I COULD GO TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL, I WOULD CHOOSE… : Beauxbatons, not Ilvermorny. IF I COULD CHOOSE A DEATHLY HALLOW, I WOULD CHOOSE… : The Stone. ( Say it like it isn’t a mantra, Dorcas. As though it isn’t something that’s poisoned your dreams since discovering those stories may be based in reality. )

PART SIX. MISCELLANEOUS

DESCRIBE THEIR AESTHETIC IN THREE WORDS : Sea, daisies, laughter. THEME SONG : Lavender’s Blue ( CINDERELLA SOUNDTRACK - 2015. ) / Sonya Alone ( BRITTAIN ASHFORD - NATASHA, PIERRE & THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 - ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING. ) / Times are Hard for Dreamers (Pop Version) ( PIPPA SOO - AMELIE - ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING. ) TOP FIVE SONGS IN THEIR ( MODERN ) PLAYLIST : You Are Enough - Sleeping at Last, Yellow - Coldplay, When I Kissed the Teacher - ABBA, Breathe - In The Heights, & Paradise - George Ezra. VINE THAT FITS THEM : ( x ) RANDOM HEADCANONS : 1. Dorcas loves deeply. Deeply, deeply, deeply. It’s intrinsic to who she is. She’s protective, maddeningly so, and unable to sit still. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and is a nightmare when it comes to pacing herself. She knows not of patience, or of taking time to breathe. She consists solely of love - a palace built between her ribs of the people that she loves. In this, she is a typical Taurus Hufflepuff. ( x ) 2. Dorcas lost her parents at a very young age. She doesn’t often speak of it - speak about them, about the parents that she lost and the brother that she was unable to save. They were killed in a home burglary turned murder spree when she was six. They’d been meant to go on holiday, but Dorcas had come down with the stomach flu, so they’d foregone the vacation when it spread to Dorcas’s younger sister, Calliope. The only reason that Dorcas survived was that she managed to climb beneath her bed with her younger sister Calliope facing the wall, only her back visible from the opening created by the duvet. She gets stabbed three times, one of those stab wounds narrowly avoiding piercing her spleen and the major abdominal arteries. She still has the scars on her lower back. Callie was uninjured, and she was the one who managed to get to the neighbors house (by climbing out of the window from the second floor and dropping at least eleven feet). Dorcas remembers, mostly, finding out her parents and brother were murdered. The rest of it often feels incredibly foggy. She went through therapy for a number of years before she was discharged from the North West Surrey Mental Health Trust. The nightmares, today, are infrequent, but some nights are worse than others. She often takes a calming draught before she goes to sleep - provided by Madame Pomfrey at the Hospital Wing.  3. Dorcas’s best friend in the universe is Emmeline Vance. They aren’t in the same house, but that doesn’t matter. They met at eleven, on the train to Hogwarts. Dorcas, with brown hair down to her hip, and Emmeline’s hair newly cut into a bob ( her parents had gone wild at her for that one, ) and that was it. The rest, as they say, is History. If you can’t find Dorcas, she’s usually with Emmeline. 60% of her spare time is spent wherever Emmeline is. They’re one another’s great loves. She doesn’t know what she’d be without Emme.  4. Dorcas wants to be a Herbologist or a Healer when she graduates. She’s not sure how likely that plan is to succeed with everything going on - how far she’ll get before she abandons it all to help the people that she wants to help, desperately. As it stands, 40% of her spare time is spent either in the Potions classroom or the Herbology classroom - Potions is a required course for becoming a Healer.  5. If this were a modern AU, Dorcas’d totally be a theater kid. She’d also be that kid that is always making scrapbooks - always half finishing projects, the one that has too many cacti and exotic plants in the corner of her room. She’d keep her phone on her, always, lockscreen always changing. She’d love bands like Little Mix and butcher the Spanish when she tried to sing songs like Despacito.  6. FUTURE: Dorcas manages to live through the Wizarding War ( well, mostly ) without casting the Killing Curse. She’s fast, she’s quick, and she doesn’t stand still. She’s often the one coming careening past the others, ducking beneath their outstretched arms as light - green, red, blue, yellow - is cast against the ground. She Apparates in and out, as though her being there is a mirage. People, injured, bystanders, disappear from where they’d been only seconds before, as soon as her hand secures around anywhere she can grip on. She works with trembling hands, to heal those that she can. Four separate times she manages to Apparate away from under Voldemort’s nose.  The first time is with her arm hooked under Fabian Prewett, his unconscious body bruised and the cut on his arm infected with what she suspects is a modified strain of the venom of the Venomous Tentacula. The second time is with a handful of wands - all belonging to fellow Order members. The third time is with Dedalus Diggle. He’s a handful, that time, splaying limbs, cracking as they twist around. They have a spell maker in their midst but Dorcas is the only one that can sooth the pain, to make it all more bearable while they try and fix it. The fourth time is with Emmeline. Emme’s far too headstrong for her own good, and knows how rare it is that Voldemort himself makes an appearance. Dorcas is the one that breaks Bellatrix’s focus - the Cruciatus curse trained on her best friend, on her Emmeline, flickers when Dorcas passes, a blur of black leather and hair tied up in a bun, bangs hanging low and the light long since dimmed in her eyes. When Emmeline comes to, the pain still ricochets through her bones, and Dorcas is powerless to help. It takes days for the aftershocks to fade. The faintest roar of rage is still heard in Dorcas’s brain. She’s just too slow, in the end, to save herself, although she doesn’t try. She’s not ready, but she is. She’s not happy, but she is. She knew there was only one way this could end. The one incapable of love striking down the one composed entirely of it is the only end that makes sense in a world at war - in a world in which war stories are not one of morals. War stories are made of absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil. It just takes her years to realize. Years to reconcile. Being soft does not make her immune to this. Being alive doesn’t. She is happy, but it is not a happy ending. No - it’s a very sad beginning.

[trainthief]

Hey I was wondering if you'd ever consider doing like a top 20 fav classical music albums or composers list or something. Obviously if that just sounds stressful disregard this but I know you are like, into classical music & I grew up with my parents playing it & recently got, like, into the classical station but aside from like 3 artists I like I don't know where to start & I like your blog and would be interested in hearing about like, your taste

Sorry for responding to this so late, I’ve had a real week and I wanted to make sure I had time to put some thought into answering this ask. I’d definitely love to help, I always like recc’ing classical stuff to people! The idea of 20 absolute all time favorites is a difficult one for me because I love so much stuff and it’s really difficult to compare like… Caroline Shaw’s modern experimental chorale stuff to Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos. Anyway, instead I will give you some full length pieces in different styles that I think are great for new listeners, and explain a little about what each one is doing and what I love about it, and some more pieces I recommend if you enjoy what you’re hearing. Hopefully that will help! 

In no particular order: 

Appalachian Spring by Copland: Let’s just get this one out of the way up front. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time at all, you know I’m deeply in love with Copland. He essentially invented the American compositional style by adding jazz elements to the established practices, which caused an absolute uproar at the beginning of his career as people then considered it an unholy mix of high and low culture. He doubled down on this concept when he wrote “Fanfare For The Common Man” which essentially stands as a celebration of the working class and those who couldn’t afford to see the symphony anyway. He was, I should also note, both gay and Jewish. A real icon. Anyhow, although I love so much of his work and could go on forever, I consider listening to Appalachian Spring in its entirety a spiritual experience, no exaggeration. Take it on a hike, listen to it while you look at the trees and think about whatever crosses your mind, and by the time the Coda hits you… well I personally can’t tell you what experience to have, but I feel for a second like I can see and be seen. Anyway, aside from that, just good music, very pretty. If you’d like similar music that incorporated jazz effectively into classical work, I’d of course recommend another favorite of mine: Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin. 

Russian Easter Festival by Rimsky-Korsakov: As a general rule of thumb, Russian composers are ALWAYS good for some drama. This piece in particular is great because it’s not only fanfare and excitement, there’s a touch of pastoral calmness that I really love (more on that as a concept later) at the beginning, but we still get plenty of wildness. There’s a frantic octave part the violins play around minute 5 that always makes me want to scream. If you like this, I’d also recommend checking out Rimsky-Korsakov’s Capriccio Espagnol. The man knows how to write sexy. 

Romance in D by Berkey: I recommend this partially because it’s a lesser known and very beautiful piece, and also because it’s a good lead-in to a whole subset of classical called Furniture Music. Essentially called that - originally by the composer Satie - because it’s nice to put on in the background. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fun to listen to, and from a compositional and performance standpoint it can still be very impressive. But it’s just good and calming and you could certainly sip tea to it in the restaurant area of a ritzy 1920’s hotel while you read a novel and ignore your rich husband asking if you’d like any marmalade. A good example of the same effect is the soundtrack to Phantom Thread. It’s also good for studying. If you like that conceptually, I’ve got a whole playlist here. 

Pictures at an Exhibition by Mussorgsky: A really excellent intro to classical and one of my favorite works, AND like the last one, also a lead-in to an informal format. Pictures was written with the idea that each song was a separate painting that the listener could imagine they were looking at in a museum. For that reason, each one has a different style and personality, and feels very descriptive and exciting. A collection of small related pieces is called a suite, but I haven’t yet been able to find a technical name for that specific kind of storytelling structure within a suite. It’s not uncommon though, and in that same vein I’d also recommend The Planets by Holst (about the planets, as you might assume), and Carnival of the Animals by Saint Saens (about… yeah you get it). 

Spem in Alium by Tallis: We’re taking a wild left turn now and veering into the Christian choral tradition dating back to the 1500s. Like anyone else who isn’t even a Christian, there’s a few things about Catholicism that I’m obsessed with. Namely the hymns and the stained glass. Focusing only on the hymns, Tallis is one of the best examples of polyphonic hymnal work. Polyphonic, essentially, means that the different voices in the piece are moving around each other and will frequently change their notes in a way that will compliment - but is not necessarily in line with - the direction of the piece as a whole. It makes more sense if you just listen. The style, however, was developed in an attempt to capture the idea of the stars and planets circling each other in their own independent orbits, because at the time people had just started to turn their gaze to the sky for answers about their own lives. Aside from that very cool background, I just find the really human side of the choir format in particular paired with the elevation of music being this untouchable but powerful thing paired with the holiness of the concept paired with how awesome the acoustics of a chapel can be…. It’s just a lot. If you like this I’d also recommend Miserere Mei by Allegri, Ave Maris Stella by Dufay, and O Magnum Mysterium by Lauridsen 

Peter Grimes by Britten: Classical music is so rooted in every musical tradition, and visa versa, that it’s almost impossible to separate it conceptually from a lot of genres. Technically, “classical” refers to a period of time more than it does a genre anyway, but let’s not get pretentious about it. While we’re pushing the boundaries of what can and can’t be included in this list, let’s talk Opera, and specifically Peter Grimes. When asked to describe it, Britten said it was “a subject very close to my heart—the struggle of the individual against the masses. The more vicious the society, the more vicious the individual.” More specifically the struggle was an allegory for gay oppression, and ironically Britten wrote the lead role with his lifelong partner Peter Pears - an opera singer - in mind. To give a taste without giving too much away, the Prologue establishes that Grimes, a fisherman, is being questioned over the death of his apprentice. The townspeople are all convinced before the questioning even begins that he must have done it, but the coroner decides the death was accidental. Grimes is let free and advised not to get another apprentice, but he of course ignores this…. If the vocal side of opera doesn’t do it for you, there are 4 Sea Interludes from this work that are really great independently. If you want even more opera with even more drama, I’d recommend looking at Tosca or Turandot both by Pucccini. If you think classic opera is too high brow and you want something a little sillier, try Mozart’s Magic Flute. If you want something more new age and weird, try listening to Two Boys by Muhly or selections from Einstein on the Beach by Glass (but probably not all 5 hours, Knee Play 5 and Spaceship would be my top 2). 

Symphony No. 6 “Pastoral” by Beethoven: I mentioned earlier when describing the Russian Easter Festival that I love a piece with pastoral calmness. Getting back to that point, I haven’t ever seen one word that’s commonly used to describe this particular sense in a piece, but I personally call it a Pastoral after Beethoven’s 6th. In general, the symphony is one of my favorites as a composer and listener, especially given that it’s really just about taking a walk in nature which is one of only 3 themes music should have anyway in my opinion. A good amount of my music is written with this feeling in mind. Aside from all that context, the first movement in particular is very nice, passionate but not sensational, and is just about being excited to be outside. Nothing wrong with that. This subset of music is probably the most informal of all the ones I’ve listed so far, but if you’d like more “Pastorals,” or pieces that have a nice calm passion to them, I’d also highly recommend Enigma Variations: Nimrod by Elgar, Fantasia on a Theme of Tallis by Vaughan Williams, Once Upon A Time In America by Morricone, Musica Celestis by Kernis, and of course again Appalachian Spring by Copland. (I would also be legally sent to jail if I didn’t mention that while we’re on the subject of Beethoven, his 9th Symphony is generally considered one of the greatest achievements in classical music). 

Rite of Spring by Stravinsky: A lot of these pieces have been good jumping off points into different musical concepts, but with this one I’m sticking my description to the initial piece itself. I got the chance to email with a composer I admire and he at one point described composition not in the sense of writing something “smart”, but in writing something “detailed”. The Rite of Spring is a really great example of detailed composition. It’s extremely experimental with its time changes - essentially the way that you should be counting your notes as a musician constantly changes and always into a pattern that’s difficult to keep track of - and also with its chord structure. The music itself can be jarring and odd to listen to but the composition wasn’t random and when studied shows an obsessive elbows-deep involvement in the work that I really admire. It might not surprise you to hear, however, that at the initial performance the audience was so furious that the lighting technician had to continually flash the lights to confuse them, out of fear of a riot. If you’d like something a bit more fun to listen to by the same composer, however, Firebird is a good one. And if you’d like another great piece that was completely booed off the stage at its premier, I’d recommend Grand Pianola by Adams. 

Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev: While we’re in the general vicinity of ballet, I should get into that deeper. Ballets can have some of the most fun music to listen to because the timing is required to be so much more specific. Romeo and Juliet is a lot of fun, particularly the “Montagues and Capulets” and “Masks” sections. Another great ballet is, of course, The Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky. I’d also recommend Don Quixote by Minkus, and Rodeo by Copland…. I know I know 

Violin Concerto in D by Tchaikovsky: I said Russians bring the drama, and it’s doubly so when it’s a gay Russian. This piece is a classic example of the solo concerto format, which is a staple of classical as a whole. The setup is a single player on whatever instrument the piece is written for accompanied by an orchestra, and is usually a showcase of technical skill by the soloist. This one in particular is basically THE turning point in a violinist’s studies and just about every violinist learns it as soon as they’re capable of taking it on. Personally I still vividly remember when my teacher finally gave it to me, it’s a very specific sense of accomplishment. Similar examples of the solo concerto format on different instruments would be Piano Concerto in F by Rachmaninoff, and Oboe Concerto in C by Mozart, both of which I absolutely love. 

The Revd Mustard His Installation Prelude by Muhly: I’ve gone on forever so I’m trying to be quick. Nico Muhly is one of my favorite modern composers and Revd Mustard combines his classic ecstatic and constantly moving style with an organ, which I’m a sucker for. Contemporary classical in his style can be difficult to listen to because it’s gotten very experimental and as a result, very complicated. But if you don’t go into it with the expectation that you’re going to hear a structured and logical Mozart-like piece and you instead surrender your opinion until the whole thing has come together for you, it can be really interesting at the very least. As a side note, Nico has collaborated with Sufjan, Bjork, Jonsi, Teitur…. lots of people. You’ve certainly heard him before even if you didn’t know it. For more classical from the last few decades I’d recommend Partita for 8 Singers by Shaw, Tissue No. 7 by Glass, Different Trains by Reich, the Red Violin Concerto by Corigliano (especially because I just saw it live a few days ago and am still reeling), Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra, and Cantus in Memoriam Benjamin Britten by Part. Each of which is vastly different, stylistically speaking, but all of which I really love. And for more organ listen to one of my favorite pieces of all time, Symphony 3 by Saint Saens. 

Ok, you know what? I’m cutting myself off because I’ve gone on forever. If you haven’t been put off of asking me questions entirely by now, please feel free if you want even more recommendations in a specific style, or want to know more about something you enjoy. Clearly I love talking about this. Hope that helped!

[robertemeryofficial]

Behind the scenes with Stewart Copeland: Why dumb shit makes me happy (#1) - TRANSCRIPT

"If the only reason humans pro-create is Vivaldi, we would all be fucked…"  -- Stewart Copeland

In this inaugural episode of the new ‘Backstage with Robert Emery’ podcast, RDCE talks to Stewart Copeland, the founder and drummer of the British rock band 'The Police'. Stewart talks about why he attributes studying 'Mass Communication & Public Policy' to becoming one of the worlds most famous drummers, why one of his balls is called Ben Hur, and how he grew up not knowing his Father was a spy.

Stewart is an American musician and composer.  Apart from his most famous role as a rockstar, over the years he has produced film and video game soundtracks, written music for ballets, operas and orchestras, and in 2003 was inducted into the 'Rock and Roll Hall of Fame'.  

This whistle-stop tour of his life takes us through his nine years in The Police with Sting and Andy Summers, his solo projects as a composer, and his predictions of the status of orchestral and rock music in twenty years.

Listen Now

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast, or on your favourite podcast platform. 

Transcript

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to the inaugural episode of The Backstage Blog with me, Robert Emery.

This episode is brought to you with the help of LAT_56. LAT_56 are a sharp, smart and efficient baggage company that help you take off relaxed and arrive ready to take on the world. In 2011, I completed 122 flights and without their NASA-spec material making such a solid travel system, the hours spent with my luggage being thrown from one plane to another would have caused me a big headache. With their bold and strong aesthetics, they make no compromise to achieve the balance between performance and style.

With a lifetime guarantee, you'll be safe in the knowledge that their products will stand the test of time. When I first bought my travel bag from them, they only sold their flagship garment bag, an ingenious suit carrier that’s stylish, compact and crucially for me, going from gig to gig, didn't crease the suits. Since then, they've branched out to carry-on luggage, backpacks, duffel bags, laptop bags, and even wash bags.

Now, you know me, I’d only mention a company if I used and approved of them, and I do. And you know what? The thing I love about them the most is that after seven years of wear and tear, my first bag still looks as new as the backpack I bought just six months ago. So, if you're a busy traveller and want something that is stylish and secure, visit thebackstageblog.com and click on Partners.

Hello, lovely people. Today I'm really excited to be having a chat with my friend, rock god and all-round crazy gentleman, Stewart Copeland. Stewart and I first met at a gig. He was hitting the drums as loud as he could to the soundtrack that he composed for Ben-Hur. Scarily, I was conducting the orchestra who were duelling with him. It was like a baked bean and a baked potato had forgotten which one was little and which one was large. From that moment I picked up the baton, I knew that not only is Stewart one of the world's greatest drummers, and not only does he compose like a modern-day maestro, but after 44 years in the music industry, he still has the passion and energy of an 18-year-old.

I'll be honest, it's my first time recording an interview with me being the one asking the questions, so please forgive me: like any good art, it’ll take a while to perfect. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this worldwide whistle-stop tour of Stewart Copeland and his life.

Robert Emery: Okay, so welcome, welcome, welcome. I think the first thing I would like to talk to you about is your slightly crazy childhood because I'm pretty damn sure this has had an effect on what you've done in life later on. I've done a bit of reading and I know you were telling me–we're here somewhere in Europe doing Ben-Hur but we'll talk about that later. I know you were saying the other night about you had a very interesting childhood because, if I've got this right, you were born in the states, you grew up in Lebanon...

Stewart Copeland: You missed out a bit. Egypt.

Robert: Oh did I? Okay, Egypt. But then you went to boarding school in Somerset, then you're in a rock band, and then you ended up back in LA.

Stewart: A couple of steps missing there but fundamentally that’s the story, that's the arc.

Robert: It's a bit of a strange, unusual upbringing. What is the reason for that? How did that happen?

Stewart: My father was a diplomat, otherwise known as a spy. He was, during the war, in the OSS. His job was obviously the Nazis, but as the war was coming to a close, they realised that the Soviets were the real problem. And so even as they were finishing up winning the war together, the Soviets and the Americans, they were getting into the beginning of the Cold War. At that point, the energy from the Middle East was very important and so the CIA... As the OSS was morphing into this new thing called the CIA, my father was down in the Middle East and his job was to make sure that the oil came west to our factories rather than north to the evil empire.

To enact that mission, they imposed dictators upon the people such as when I was born, my daddy was away on business. I was born in Alexandria, Virginia, which is a suburb of the CIA. He was over in Cairo installing Gamal Abdel Nasser who ran Egypt actually pretty well for the Egyptian people. Across the Middle East, in Syria and the other countries, basically, their job was to keep a stable system. They were not interested in social engineering or in democracy; they were interested in stability. All the people of that generation, they were completely comfortable with the concept of dictators otherwise known as monarchs. The idea of absolute power. These people were... My father used to like to describe himself as amoral. He said he would never have anyone assassinated with whom he would mix socially, and I don't think he ever had anyone assassinated either but, you know, he was a storyteller. What did you ask me?

Robert: Just about your childhood. But did you know when you were growing up?

Stewart: That’s why I was there. No, I didn't know any of this growing up. In fact, it didn't seem exotic to me at all. In fact, it seemed to be lacking anything exotic because we didn't have TV and at the American school... I was in Egypt very young, but my memories really begin in Lebanon in Beirut and there was the American Community School. For a while, there was a rumour that in my generation, that's when the Saudis first started sending their young princes to get a Western education: the ACS in Beirut was the western school, the American School in Beirut. From my gen, it was the first time we started to see Arab kids, Gulf state kids, amongst the Westerners who were being educated there and Osama bin Laden was one of those.

Robert: Wow!

Stewart: Many years after me. Of course, if he'd been there when I was there, I would have kicked his ass. But we didn't have TV and the other American kids who had been home more recently would talk about this Xanadu, this fabled place called America. In fact, most people outside of America in my generation heard of America as the shining light on a hill where the streets are clean, and the people are, you know, everything works, and the systems are new and all this stuff, and... Then, gosh, there we were living in dusty old Beirut.

Of course, now looking back on it, I am so glad I grew up in dusty old Beirut. But then my father's best buddy, turned out to be a British double agent, name of Kim Philby, and his whole scene was kind of blown by that blow. My good buddy, Harry Philby, his dad disappeared one night. Two weeks later, he turns up in Moscow. True Blue English, he was recruited in Cambridge and was a mole and rose up in the Mi5 and there was three or four of them, I think. Anyway, my father had to ship his family out just like that. We were there for 10 years and then in a two-week period we are out of there.

I did one term in London, at the American School in London, but ended up in Somerset at Millfield. After that, I went to college in America and then came back to London where I met these other two guys.

Robert: So, it was after you went to the states and then you came back to London and that's where you met the other two guys as you call them. Okay, fine. But when did you start playing the drums?

Stewart: Hard to say. My father was a musician before the war. I’ve still got his trumpet; it's a 1942-con or something, I can't remember the year, I looked up the serial number. The fancy trumpet’s like the SG of its day. He only devotes two or three pages about his jazz life in his book but he played with both Dorsey brothers, Harry James, Glenn Miller–for him that's déclassé.

Robert: You grew up with music around you?

Stewart: When he started a family, he thrust musical instruments into all the kids and I'm the fourth child. By the time I came along, the house was full of abandoned instruments and I picked up all of them and I just was lost on all of them. My father spotted the tell-tale sign of a budding musician, which is “you can't get him to shut up.” Any kid that you have to say, “It's time for your piano practice,” don't waste your time or his time or her time. The tell-tale sign is that kind of autism... that you can't stop the kid, and I was on everything.

Trombone, I think, was the first lessons I had, but I couldn't get to the seventh position. But the buddy of mine had a catalogue, Slingerland drum catalogue, with pictures of drum sets which for me, I was like pictures of power, motors... Really, looking back now, as father of seven, I realise that the drum thing was partly because I was a very late bloomer. All the way through high school, even when I was 12-13, all my mates were growing faster. Their voices dropped, they started growing beards, they started turning into... and I was still that squeaky little kid.

The drums were power. Boom, bam, argh! Suddenly the squeaky little kid, now I'm a big silverback bastard motherfucker coming to eat your children. For a little 12-year-old who was this squeaky little 12-year-old, that was power. Looking back, adding up all the impressions and memories, I remember the first show–actually, the British Embassy Beach Club party at The St George Club. Janet McRoberts was there and I'm playing Don't let me be Misunderstood or an Animals’ or a Kink’s song or whatever, maybe House of the Rising Sun and there's Janet McRoberts on the dance floor with that look. And I thought, “Shit! Whatever this is, this is going to get me somewhere.”

Also, I remember at The American Beach Club, overhearing two of the 15- year-old girls talking. 15-year old girls are just like an impossible dream for a 12-year-old, you know, and they're talking about how Ian Copeland–who was the coolest kid in Beirut, by the way. He was the leader of the motorcycle gang, Ian Copeland was the coolest kid on campus. They’re talking, “Wow, I hear the Black Knights have got a new drummer. Oh, cool,” or hip or whatever. “Yeah, it’s Ian Copeland’s brother. Ian has a brother?” They’re talking about this mythical being, the new drummer in the Black Knights–is he cute? I’m standing there, I’m a little 12-year-old kid standing there with my ice-cream. These 15-year-olds are talking about Stewart Copeland as if it's somebody.

And so, these elemental, deep, crocodile-brain part of the drive, the emotional drive, are very powerful. My theory is that music is basically part of the procreative process of the human being. It's our mating dance. It's our mating ritual. As my mother the archaeologist would say, it's our plumage, and at that young age, particularly at adolescent age, music is so... With my kids, I see that music is so important to them. Here I do it for a living and I still wake up every day and can't wait to make more music but I can get through an hour without hearing music. My kids? It's the young mating dance. So that was a very powerful impulsion to playing drums.

Robert: So, you figured this is a very cool thing to do, you get lots of good attention for this and...

Stewart: Here’s is one more factor. My big brother Ian? Coolest kid on campus? Couldn't do it. Which was very unsettling because one of the American kids... What happened was the Black Knights’ drummer, his dad got shipped back to the states, the drums he was using which are borrowed or something like that were lying... And so they’re, “Well, let's get Ian. Let's get the coolest kid in the school to play the drums.” And he tried to do it and I could hear him in his room, the forbidden sanctuary. I could hear him trying to get it... then he’d roar off on his motorcycle and I’d sneak in on pain of death and I'd get on there, and I can do it. Wait a minute, that's not right, I must be doing it wrong for me to be able to do it what I heard him not able to do, my hero and older brother...

Robert: You didn’t have lessons?

Stewart: Immediately my father spotted, “Ah drums, great! Lessons!” And I had lessons at everything. The minute he spotted anything, “Lessons!” Yeah, right away.

Robert: Something definitely clicked with you with drums.

Stewart: Yeah and they stuck. The guitar kind of stuck, too. I played guitar all my life, never seriously, never took a lesson, never really developed anything beyond my favourite three chords. But those three chords? Ah, you can have a lot of fun on A, E and D. Throw a G in there, F sharp minor even.

Robert: Alright. The interesting thing for me though is that when I was growing up, I played the piano and I played the cello.

Stewart: Cello? Excellent instrument. A great blues instrument, by the way. You put that thing on your lap, play it like this, and it's a fantastic blues instrument.

Robert: But I couldn't do it. It didn't work for me. I just could not...

Stewart: The piano did, though, right?

Robert: The piano, I don't know why. I’d just sit there, play, it was easy, it just happened, you didn't have to think about it, I didn't really do any training to start with. It just happened. But cello, it did not happen. I could not get it to work. So did you try any instruments out when you were young?

Stewart: We’re going to have to work on a theory for that because pianotude you’ve got. That works for you. But two hands interacting to make one note seems to not work for you. I’m the other way around, see? Guitars, no problem. I can work on piano every day and I still can't play Mary Had a Little Lamb so you’ve got that gift.

Robert: Yeah. Yeah, but it's only piano. Piano conducting. But I tried many other things over the years, I tried clarinet for a while, couldn't do it, and it's just so concentrated what I can do with my music–what instruments. You sound like you're the sort of guy who can pick up anything, can give it a good damn go and have a bit...

Stewart: Whether I can or not, I will pick up anything and give it a damn good go.

Robert: And you have lots of instruments at home?

Stewart: I have the world’s largest collection of the cheapest instruments money can buy. I got trombone, I got bassoon. I got timpani. I got clarinet, I got viola, I got violin. I got cello. I got baby cello, I got bass guitar, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, acoustic guitar, banjo. I got all kinds of instruments.

Robert: And you’ve tried them all?

Stewart: Oh, yeah. Well, I get on eBay, then I haven't got a mellophone. So, I get on there and I look for mellophones or euphoniums; I love brass instruments above all. In fact, today I played an Alpine horn which is 15 feet long and guess what? A- Extremely light, made out of bamboo or something. B- really easy to play. Doesn't require a lot of breath at all, it's like playing on a trombone. Very impressed out there... [Makes a trumpeting sound] You know, not that hard.

Robert: Let’s just rewind back in time a little bit. You formed this band called The Police. How long was it from your starting point to all of a sudden something happened where you just went sky high?

Stewart: It was incremental, but every step headlining the marquee felt like a stellar, “That's it. We've made it. That's it, we're done. We're there now!” And then the next step happens and like climbing a mountain you think there's the shoulder there and we just get to there and that's going to be the top of the mountain–you get there and there's more mountain. It was very much like that. But we did star for a good two years, where we were playing the clubs and all of our gigs pretty much were cancellations by the genuine article punk bands of the day. We were a fake punk band. We were using the punk haircut as a flag of convenience because really, it's all about the hairdo. The stance.

Sting and I were both on the cusp, born in the early 50s. We were the tail end of the hippie generation where so by the time we got into our teens and wanted to rock out and be young adolescents or young adults, it was old and stale. Even though we were steeped in it–he was in jazz and I was playing in Curved Air, kind of an art rock band–we were still the tail end of the last generation. It was all stultified and everything, along comes Johnny Rotten and the Punk-O-Rama, and suddenly it’s just “burn it all down, bring it all down.” Musically, I had nothing in common with that except the fact that I like raw aggression in music. I like it. It's comedic actually.

I liked all that and they were like children and so Curved Air was running its course as an art rock band, so no problem. Cut the hair, peroxided blonde, turn my collar up, and let's go punk. And we did but the critics *[18:59] spotted us in a heartbeat as not the real thing. But fortunately, all the real thing, The Clash, The Damned, Eater, The Jam, all these bands, they didn't know how to hire a truck or a PA. They were managed by one of their mates who didn't have a clue, and so most of The Police's early dates were cancellations by other bands. I’d get a call on a Thursday afternoon saying, “Generation X can't make it.” I can. I got a Rolodex, I know three guys with a truck, I know three guys with a PA, I can get that together, I can get out to Islington, pick up that truck, the PA. “Fred, the PA, can you make the date? Sure.” I can pull it together and get that. And so all of our dates were like “not Gen X”...

Robert: I'm going to pressure you on this because I know you say it's incremental and I know you say it's like climbing a mountain, but I still believe that there must be one ... There must be a gem somewhere, a little story, a little something happened which put you on that clear direction.

Stewart: Many.

Robert: What is it? What's the one that comes to mind?

Stewart: If I had to pick out one, it's hard to say the one that was the payoff of all that which would be Shea Stadium where the Beatles played. And when you play at Shea Stadium, that's officially you have conquered America and you're in the footsteps of The Beatles. That was pretty darned exciting and it turned out to be the best show ever. We were a pretty hot band but some nights just really went to another level and we amazed ourselves. Actually, we were pretty full of ourselves most nights, but that was a particularly good night. Our first stadium, too. Then we got sick of stadiums.

Robert: So that was your first stadium, yeah?

Stewart: I think so. It felt like the first anyway but then we got to the top and then stayed there for a couple of albums before we were right at the top. There was no sign of the... The ascent was on a straight line when we threw in the towel because we had that folly of youth. Well, actually it turned out not to be folly. It turned out to be wisdom in a way of, “I don’t need these guys.” Usually when you hear band members say that, you try and advise them against it. But in our case it actually sort of turned out to be a good thing that we threw in when we did. We never saw the other side, the inevitable other side of the parabola. And so when we picked it up 20 years later, our thing was still pristine.

Robert: Crazy. So, you've done many, many things in your life and you've achieved an awful lot and I'll talk about composing in a minute. But first of all, do you have something that you have not yet achieved?

Stewart: Conducting. Watch your back, mate! I've been advised no matter how gifted I think I am, how easy I think it would be, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. I'm already trying to establish myself as a real conductor.

Robert: Real conductor or...?

Stewart: A real composer. Throw in amateur conductor and the learning curve with that, and there's been a 30-year learning curve with writing for orchestra. I didn't pick this up overnight: I've been working at this and trying to figure this out for decades, and I'm sure conducting would be the same sort of journey. Which I would be really happy to make that journey. I'm in for the long haul on things. I'm good for the long mission. I conduct small-scale all the time–my singers, my soloist when I'm working in the studio, bringing the singers in, and I understand how to breathe for them and so that the indication... There's more than just there it's [breathing loudly] there. Those nuances and I understand the rhythm and I took a conducting seminar and I really enjoyed it. I did a movement of... What the hell was it? It was a big huge Bach movement or something. Not Bach... Anyway, it was fantastic.

Robert: How many players did you have?

Stewart: The musicians union sent about two or three chairs of violins, one of the brass. It was pretty skinny but all the different choirs were represented and it was really, really a lot of fun. The most fun part was that my reading’s much better now than it was then and putting the things in two, three, and... I just love that because the first lesson I’ve learned was the opposite of drumming where you groove and you are the groove and you feel the others... And there, you have to run ahead of the cart and you’re ahead. You’re not grooving with the band; you're pulling them. You're out in front.

Robert: I’ll do you a deal. The next time we do Ben-Hur, and we have time...

Stewart: Ben-Hur is hard.

Robert: Then I get you to conduct that, yeah?

Stewart: Let's do that. I will take you up on that with Tyrant’s Crush.

Robert: Okay.

Stewart: And you can play drums.

Robert: You don't want to see that. You absolutely don't want to see me play drums. I’ve tried before.

Stewart: You threw down the gauntlet.

Robert: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you said you wanted to conduct. I never said I wanted to play drums. I’m happy playing...

Stewart: What's the quid pro quo here then?

Robert: That I get to laugh at you conduct.

Stewart: Done. Deal. I’d love it. I mean, who's got rehearsal time with 60 highly-paid musicians?

Robert: Okay, so you're a very busy guy and you've achieved a lot, you've conquered a lot, you've had very different aspects of your career, which means that you are a very driven person. You must be a guy who gets...

Stewart: It doesn’t feel like driven.

Robert: No, but you are. You must be.

Stewart: Compared... To me, other people they talk about this thing which is probably just as much as a mystery to you. The strange word, the strange concept called “procrastination.” Can you imagine? I mean, how's it possible to watch TV when you’ve got a mission to do? It's not a matter of being driven, it's just a matter of “there's a mission to do–let's go do that.” TV is for when you haven't got a mission or any... Eating food or sleep is for when you haven't got a mission. It doesn't feel driven or anything, it's just like...

Robert: What are the tips or the tricks or anything that you do to keep yourself energised, to keep yourself going, to get up in the morning to go and do what you need to do? Do you have like a ritual you have every morning for breakfast, or do you...?

Stewart: Well, yes. At my age, I have a ritual for everything because the running repairs on this battered old frame... You just figure out that if I go to bed this time and if I eat that and do this and don't do that, I guess my day is going to be better–and you have all these rituals. But I don't think any of these rituals are connected to motivation. I learned very early in life that daydreaming is a critical activity, that daydreaming isn't just wasting time. In fact watching TV– I'd rather stare out into space and imagine some great fantasy that I get to play my drum for the huge orchestra and I get to write all the music myself! And it goes [triumphant tune] and it's really fantastic. Just imagining this and imagining this...

If you have a daydream that really sticks and you keep going back to it, and you fill in the details of it and to make the daydream work better, you start filling in the details... It has to be realistic so the details that you add need to be substantiated by, “the way I got to being able to play with that big orchestra was that I met this guy. How did I meet a guy? Because I was...” Actually, what you're doing is concocting a scheme as the daydream. If it's a really powerful one that really draws you and you keep chewing on it and going back to it, you're actually working up a plan. Like we get the band with just three guys in it and one of them's got to sing. I have the guitar and the bass player’s... got to be a singer because my singing is terrible. And it'd be great... Before you know it, your daydream is a mission.

Robert: Do you think that has any connection whatsoever with the fact that you're a very talented musician and you've got an amazing gut feeling about music? Do you think the two are interlinked in any way, shape, or form?

Stewart: My oldest brother Miles, he is driven. He's driven, and he has excellent musical ears, but did not get the gift of creating art himself. He is a brilliant receiver of art. He understands the Zeitgeist and he's picked hits and he's had hits after hits after hits that he's had. My other brother Ian as an agent, same thing. Neither of them can play. Ian, the coolest kid in school, tried to play the bass and he can just about, but he did not get that gift. The driven thing...

Robert: So you believe you it is a gift?

Stewart: Yeah, absolutely. It is a gift. I don't know where it comes from, I'm so grateful for it, I'm humbled by the fact that I was granted this. I kiss the ground beneath my feet that I've been granted this gift. I do not feel that I earned it. I do feel an obligation in a way to service it and to... It is such a gift that I feel that it would be a crime for me to let it languish in a way. I don't know where that idea came from. Maybe my daddy taught me that or something.

Robert: Okay. So we’re doing here, in Basel, Ben-Hur...

Stewart: And you are the big orchestra and I get to write the music!

Robert: You’re such a crazy guy.

Stewart: That only took me 64 years to get that.

Robert: You went from being a drummer, a rock star, into a composer. It's a bit of a strange leap. I can't really think of anybody else who has done that...

Stewart: Once again, it wasn’t a leap. It wasn’t A and then a B. It was A– I guess the biggest leap was I got an incoming phone call from Francis Ford Coppola who says, could I come down to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where he's prepping–rehearsing, shooting a movie–and would I come there and just kind of like hang out and talk music and concept and stuff? So I get down there and the cast at that time, they're all kids. Every single one of them has now won an Academy Award. Diane Lane, Matt Dillon, I’m so terrible with names... Laurence Fishburne, Mickey Rourke, all of them. Dennis Hopper, they've all... But they were just kids; that's a diversion.

Anyway, so he just wanted to talk music and I got in there. Okay, I'm a little bit obsessive, and I said great. We talked high concept and he had this idea that... the reason he called me is time ticking, I remember like high noon... I want this teleological, inexorable movement of time with rhythm concept. You know, I love concept. Daydream: the result, the produce, the fruit of daydreams.

Robert: So he called you because he realised that the rhythm was such an important part and...

Stewart: Because his 18-year-old son says, “Dad, you gotta call Stewart Copeland from the Police.”

Robert: Okay, and then...

Stewart: And he did and I got in there, we bonded and his deal is that he finds people that he just senses has something, and he gives them their voice. He doesn't direct them. Oliver Stone told me every single note, “What's that note mean?” But Francis, once he got a connection, you're on the wavelength, he just turns you loose which he did and I had to figure out myself how to score a movie. Which I played that one all myself and I played mallards and weird guitar parts and funny little sounds. For them, since I didn't know how you do it, I had to invent the wheel for myself which is another word for–others applied this term and I was happy to accept it–revolutionary. That's not how you're supposed to do it but it's still...wow, that worked.

But at one point he did turn around and say, “I need some emotion. I need strings,” and immediately alarm bells, he's going to get some schlock artist in here, who’s going to like string... Francis, I got that. Yeah, you're right. We need some strings.

Robert: And that was the first time you'd worked with an orchestra?

Stewart: Yes.

Robert: So, you threw yourself into it at the deep end?

Stewart: Oh no, I’ve played in the school band.

Robert: Okay, yeah, but I mean as a professional... You threw yourself into the deep end as a composer who...

Stewart: I had these chords that I had worked out and I can play them one at a time. Okay that chord, okay stop the tape. Okay, play that chord and when it comes to the next chord it's... Okay roll the tape... Bang! And I can do that kind of thing. So for strings, all I had was footballs. Holders [singing sound]. I didn’t know how to write anything else. So, the first question is I call up a contractor and he says okay how many strings would you like? I go, how many? I don’t know. Strings.

Robert: Just strings.

Stewart: Strings. How many is strings? He says, Well, two guys is strings but it’s going to sound like two guys. If you want like I guess what Francis wants is a big wash of emotion. I don’t know, I think we ended up with maybe a dozen-20 guys, something like that. Somebody else looked at the chords and put it on a chart properly and I'm going, Yeah, I remember that from school. I actually did learn in college–I was at the California School of Performing Arts where I learned figured bass harmony and the fundam...

Robert: Figured bass, the most boring thing in the world ever.

Stewart: That's as far as I got.

Robert: If anybody out there doesn't know what figured bass is, don't even bother trying to Google it.

Stewart: It's critical.

Robert: No, it's not. It used to be critical. It’s now very, very boring and confusing.

Stewart: No. But what it did tell me is to not just do a barre chord up and down the neck like that, like a guitarist would do, and it tells you that you can use inner voices, let everything move in a different direction, and so on and so forth.

I was in a music school with other kids who'd studied the piano since the age of seven and I was the runt of the litter. One day she said, “Okay everybody, here's your homework. Write 16 bars.” Well-voiced chords for 16 bar. I had a million tunes in my head so I figured out something that I already and figured out applying the rules that I’d learned in her class to something I already had and she goes to the class and she plays okay by Johnny and she plays Johnny’s piece. Yeah, very good. Okay, yeah, good. Okay, Stewart... You’ve got a parallel fifth there and you haven't really resolved that but it’s kind of interesting the way that doesn't resolve there and resolves here. Now, you're not supposed to do this here, but there's kind of that note there. This would be what I would teach next year.

Robert: I remember this from being a kid.

Stewart: Yeah, and she finally ends up with, “Stewart, this is an actual piece of music.” And that totally at the bottom of the class, everyone just... They can sight read, they've done their ear training... I was just trying to become... I was starting at college age to learn the fundamental building blocks of music where everyone else in class had started much younger. I might have started playing music very young, but understanding the building blocks, the DNA of it.

So, as long as I was there. When I went to University of California in Berkeley, I didn't get into the music school. They gave me the ear training test and they played eight bars of a tune and transcribe it. They play me an interval, identify it, all this stuff: fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. I studied instead, mass communication and public policy.

Robert: Mass communication and public policy!

Stewart: That's how I conquered the world.

Robert: Holy crap. Okay.

Stewart: Much more useful. If I had actually gotten into that music department at UC Berkeley, I would now be the timpanist in the Ohio Symphony.

Robert: Okay, so I'm going to try and back you into a corner here for something because you told me you've got a kind of philosophy about something. I forget what the phrase is that you use but something to do with being dumb.

Stewart: The dumb shit.

Robert: There you go. It’s the dumb shit. Okay. Can you just explain that?

Stewart: Well, artists, for instance, have very bad taste in whatever their art form is because we're slobs. The popular music, I hear it and I can dance. I don't mind it, I like it I guess. But what I really seek out are the things that are a little challenging that put a gimp on it that are .... I don’t mind pop music, I love it like everybody else. But what I seek out is something a little beyond and so I'll miss a hit.

My brothers... That's a hit! They can identify it and so on. I'm a little bit further out there. So, when I'm writing music or working on something, my manager will come and say, Stewart, that’s great but what's that? That's the best part! You see...Then like, you call it the best part–sounds like a wrong note to me. Oh. And I have to reconsider–it's the dumb shit. Actually that’s dumb ass. Sorry.

Robert: Dumb ass and dumb shit.

Stewart: Totally different things. Sorry, sorry, forgive me. I’m going to finish dumb ass first. So, he comes in with dumb ass in comprehending, unsympathetic to how many hours I've put into that artistic revelation. I need a dumb ass every now and then to come and pop my bubble and say, “I'm sure it's really on some intellectual plane, I hear what you're saying.” You need your bubble popped every now and then. Every artist needs some dumb ass, usually provided by spouses.

Robert: Okay. Yes. My experience...

Stewart: You get some dumb ass at home? Careful, careful, careful. Who’s in the corner now, bitch?

Robert: Yeah, you got me. Yeah, fair enough. She’s going to kill me.

Stewart: Let's talk dumb shit.

Robert: Dumb shit.

Stewart: Let's get into some dumb shit. A good example of dumb shit. I played the Letterman Show, big national American TV show and it's drum solo week. So I go in to play a drum solo and I have a piece of music that I wrote for a ballet, I work up a chart for the Tonight Show band and they're cracking players, those guys. We work up a thing and play, and I play my drum solo and at the end it took a lot of music to build that thing. Format, the piece of music, the writing, there’s the education writing, the charts that I practice. Years, a life in music went into making that thing–serious application, a vocation. And at the end of it... throw the sticks up there [swishing sound].

Well, go on social media, how'd that go down? It's all about the [swishing sound] Did you see how he threw the drumsticks? Yeah, wow, the drumsticks... That Copeland man it’s like he plays with these... the drumsticks!

It’s the dumb shit. No matter how much vocation went into every other aspect of that performance, it was the dumb shit.

Robert: It is the dumb shit that the audience identified.

Stewart: It’s something that stands out. I mean, I’m sure they were very impressed by everything else, they wouldn't have been impressed by the thing unless they were impressed by all the rest of it subliminally, but the thing that caught their eye and that they're talking amongst themselves about is that odd little piece of nothing, that throwaway little something.

Robert: Okay, so here comes the corner. You like the dumb shit, the audience likes the dumb shit, but you don't write music which is dumb shit. You write music which is not always easily accessible. It can be but not always. It's very intelligent music.

Stewart: You're answering your own question.

Robert: No, I'm not because I don't get it. If you know an audience likes dumb shit, why don't you write dumb shit?

Stewart: Here's the two things going on. Remember how here's the main stream of where everyone else and I'm kind of running parallel and not quite bull's eye level? That's me here, see? All the dumb shit’s here, see? Up here, trying to connect with that thing, occasionally I throw in some dumb shit and that's the connection. And I understand that my music is a little astringent for some, perhaps. What I find to be a comfortable easy place in musical atmosphere might be not... Sort of disturbing or not... People gravitate towards feeling good and what makes me feel good sometimes it makes other people feel sad.

Robert: But why are you not...

Stewart: As a professional film composer, I got pretty good at identifying exactly what chord has... You know, this is happy, that’s sad, this is happy sad, and this is sad. There's a big difference, believe it or not. Now, as a technician, I understand perfectly how to go for this emotion or that emotion but my personal taste is you describe it as being slightly off centre and I'm flattered. I take that as a compliment.

But the dumb shit is to drop the barrier, to break the ice, to welcome aboard... I use it as a way to break the ice. Instead of being alienated... Oh, that was weird. Oh, ha-ha-ha, that's kind of funny at least, or whatever. So, I’d be careful that I have first of all, I do my thing, then I get a little dose of dumb ass... Telling me, dude, this is like a little out there, and then reminded by dumb ass, then I go and apply some dumb shit.

Robert: And then it makes everybody happy.

Stewart: Well, it makes me happy. It seems to work. I've played my... I’ve used it in front of really adverse audiences and seemed to get a result.

Robert: You're so good at answering questions, I genuinely can't tell whether I managed to back you into that corner successfully, or whether you wriggled out of it. But I don’t care. You’re very good at it.

Stewart: That's the briar patch. Please don't throw me into the briar patch. No, not the briar patch. Oh, you're throwing me into the briar patch! No, no, no. Okay.

Robert: Tell me. 20 years’ time, what's the business going to be like? What do you think is going to be happening with orchestras, with pop, rock music? 20 years’ time, what would be your prediction?

Stewart: I don't know how orchestras will survive but I would say that they will probably be branded and that because they have a champagne quality that applies sophistication to a product, that they will be useful as... and hopefully government institutions will recognise the value of here's an art form, here's a body of our culture that cannot sustain itself commercially. It cannot. An orchestra, 60 guys or 90 guys or 110 guys, they cannot sustain themselves as a commercial enterprise. They need either private donations or government donations. Where’s the world going to be in 20 years? I would suspect that orchestras will be, as they are now, be vehicles of what they can do, which is impart dignity upon a product.

Robert: Okay, and what about rock, pop?

Stewart: It will always be here. It always has been, always will be. For rhythm... Simple EAD chords, all the revolutions of music. It’s all about the haircut, change the haircut, change the style of music, first you grow it long and then you cut it short. I remember my mom saying, “Stewart, why can't you have long hair like all the other nice boys and girls?” Because mine was like [scraping sound] peroxide. Everything about my outward appearance said, “Fuck you, I'm going to eat your children.” That was the intent. Whereas I was a little soft little...

Robert: Oh, you were a timid soul inside. Bless you. All right, so that's your prediction. Just jumping back a bit.

Stewart: Well, here's the thing. There will always be rock music because if there isn't rock music, there will not be sex, and if there is not sex, there will not be anybody. It’s a part of our natural process.

Robert: It is now, but what...

Stewart: It always has been.

Robert: Well, you say that, but what about when Beethoven was around?

Stewart: When Beethoven was around was not early.

Robert: Beethoven was the kind of rock music of his day. I mean, he was so challenging when he wrote some of his music, and I'm sure that would have been the element of it.

Stewart: I suspect that Beethoven was not the rock music of his day. I suspect that Beethoven was the pampered servant of rich people and their sophisticated sublimated carnal desires. But out there on the streets of his town, the people were dancing into the streets, not to Bach music. That's my suspicion, I just made that up. That’s going to be a guess. Your readers or your listeners will write in and say, No, no, no, not sex. But I'm sure popular music of his day would have been rhythmic and would have been dancing and would have given the male of the species and the female of the species an opportunity, an impulsion and an audio permission to thrust their pure dander at each other, and to display their genetic superiority through body motion inspired by music. That's what music is.

Mozart? Bach? Those are sophistications like many other of our crocodile- brain behaviours. Are sophisticated and turned into a high form; humans do this. We take fire and we turn it into a jet or the internal combustion engine. That's what we do to fundamental building blocks of physics, that's what we do. And the fundamental building blocks of our music, which is part of our libido, which is part of our mating dance, you can develop that and it turns out the combination of physics, the human mind and sex produces high forms of art. But that's not what's really going on. Those are like the caveman drew on the painting because he had... High art painting is not necessarily where it came from, but that throb, rock ‘n’ roll, Bach was not that. Bach was not rock 'n' roll. He's like the rock star of his time. That's his position in society but that's not the function of his music.

Robert: Yeah, but for instance, Paganini who of course...

Stewart: He was popular.

Robert: Yes, he was like the rock star of his time and he went bankrupt...

Stewart: And Mozart too, by the way, was in the streets and inspired by music the people were actually dancing to.

Robert: And Vivaldi Four Seasons, it's incredible music but...

Stewart: I'm surprised that they have any population in Europe at all. I'm surprised that they’re here... In fact, my whole theory, I'm just here begging to throw it all because I just made it up anyway as I was talking. Out the window. You see, Europe would be depopulated now if they were trying to procreate to the sound of Vivaldi. If that's the only reason humans procreate, is Vivaldi, we would have been fucked.

Robert: That's a brilliant quote. That's going to be the headline quote on this podcast. Great, okay, fine... Who knows, who knows? It’s a prediction about what’s happening in 20 years’ time...

Stewart: Get this. Who would have ever (thought) that the most effective music that gets right to the deepest part and releases all social training and everything and gives young males and young females of our species utter permission is a mechanised rhythm that comes from a machine. [EDM sounds] To the extent that it’s human is to the extent that it's less effective in releasing the libido and permitting these behaviours that would be utterly unacceptable without the presence of a strong beat.

In fact, people standing in a room, they’re not interested in procreating. There's music going but they're not even thinking about it. Their body’s moving to it. There's more to it than meets the eye. There's something deeply physiological, something evolved very deeply in our human behaviour.

Robert: Okay. And you yourself, you live quite a simple life, you don’t have a big empire with 100 orchestrators and...

Stewart: No. I don't have an engineer. I used to. All the people of my generation, their work day begins when the engineer shows up and when the engineer “got to go home to see my family,” then the artist, that's the end of his working day.

Robert: And this is kind of a bit of an ethos of yours, is keep it small, keep it to yourself.

Stewart: Absolutely. The Police was three guys and it was designed that way. I wanted this... Let it be three guys. And I have my own record company that I did my gosh darned self... What's the cheapest studio in London? Pathway, an eight-track studio. Well, let's go there, and I call the guy and I chisel him down. Yes, strip it back and strip it back so that you've got manoeuvrability is the main thing.

Robert: But do you not think though, if you have more people working with you, collaborating, working for you, that you can achieve more in life because more people are doing the stuff that you don't necessarily need to do?

Stewart: Actually, that has been someplace that I'm getting to. I am in the process of arriving at that happy place where I can give it up. All during my young Pac Man years and adulthood, I've always been very greedy of artistic “boss hood.” I want to play every instrument myself, and I want to record everything myself, and I want to mix it myself, and I don't want anything to happen with me out of... I got to be in it, I want to be into everything. The video-I want to make the video, and the video should be like this and it should be... Just like the idea of not owning every aspect of it is kind of alien.

But now with the passage of time, I've discovered that like a producer is really cool because all I have to do is do this and then he has to clean up the tapes and figure it out and do all this stuff. I've learned to give it up, to let other people play with the ball, and the results can be really good. In a band, you collaborate. I'm not talking about a band collaboration because there, it's a corporate identity and I feel that I don't have to do everything in the band, but the band has to do everything. The band has to decide on the album cover, the band has to decide what the video is going to be about. We're not going to have anybody tell us what to... And so in a band, it's a corporate identity. The band is me, it's my band, even though there's two other guys who call it their band. For each of us, it's my thing.

The thing that I will never have, even as much as I'm prepared to give it up artistically, I will never acquire an empire. I have no need and no desire for an empire. I look at fellow composers who have built empires, some very effectively. One of my erstwhile competitors, Hans Zimmer who’s a big film composer and he does incredible work...

Robert: He’s Swiss, of course. Swiss.

Stewart: Is he?

Robert: Yes.

Stewart: Of course, is he? I always thought he was German or Austrian but okay, Swiss. He has an empire. He has 10 guys. He learned to give it up. I don't have to write every bar. Or he writes the theme and I don't have to apply it to this unit, apply that theme to... I can have somebody do it for me, then check it. Then when he's done all the donkey work–of here's the start time, there's the art time, this is the BPM that lands on the chord and does all the... The craftsmanship part of it. He’s written a tune and that’s the art. Then the craftsman applies it to the scene and then the artist comes by and says, okay that works but you know what I'm going to do... And so he gets all the fun part.

But he has to give it up and let other people do it. He has to hire those guys and to hire those guys, he needs an empire, and to feed an empire, he doesn't actually go and get to be an artist as much as I would need to be. He has to take a lot of meetings, he has to get every action picture that's being made, he needs to get that work to sustain his empire. He can't like take a job every now and then like an independent... Like when I was doing that, I was independent. A job every two months would feed my family. He needs every movie being made, he needs to have like three or four Triple A action pictures in his studio being made at all times, or else having that Empire...

Robert: And that doesn’t interest you.

Stewart: In one sense, you can turn things over and like that. On the other sense, running the empire. There's a difference between having an empire and having a collaboration, and letting the creative ball, letting other people play with the ball sometimes.

Robert: Okay and one of your balls, of course, is Ben-Hur, the reason why we’re here. You wrote the music for the live performance that happened and launched at The O2 Arena a few years ago and now you've set it to play and run with the edit you did for the 1925 film. Do you have any other projects and films that you would like to do that? Have you ever seen another silent movie and you’ve thought, I'd love to score a film and... Or is Ben-Hur such a special thing for you that that's the one that's...

Stewart: Well, Ben-Hur came and got me. It was an incoming call to score as a hired gun composer, to score a stage production of Ben-Hur. I did that, the show ran its course. A huge, huge behemoth of a show. Started in The O2 Arena in London and it ran its course. And then I wanted to do the concert and so I found the 1925 film and that became a different journey. It's sort of like it came for me. I didn't select that film.

But other films, I've looked at some other films by Fred Nibler the director, but there’s just such a... It's such a huge... It took three years and it was kind of fun and I could easily do another one. Not right away, because I'm having too much fun with Ben-Hur. I mean, I haven't finished playing Ben-Hur yet. I also write opera, in year three of an opera that I'm writing for Chicago in Long Beach. I'll get around to do another film one day, I suppose.

Robert: Okay. All right. So, last thing. I’m 32-33 actually. I can’t even remember my own age now.

Stewart: You're bit young to be lying about your age, pretending you don't know how old you are.

Robert: What advice would you give somebody like me who is hungry, relatively young, passionate about what I do, and I want to make sure that when I'm a little bit older that I'm still hungry, passionate about what I do? What general sage advice would you give me, because I know you’re like a grand papa...

Stewart: Stu-daddy!

Robert: Stu-daddy! Do you have anything that you look at me, you’ve worked with me now for the past week...

Stewart: Well, I would say having worked over the last week, I would say that you have a couple of gifts that will take you where you want to go. You also have a surfeit of energy which takes you into empire building, we have discussed this. For your viewers, there's a backstory here: I've been lecturing this young man about casting aside the empire and getting on with the music because you don't want to end up like a man who I respect deeply but do not want to be like Hans Zimmer. Where he spends all his time in meetings, having to do the “not music” part of the enterprise.

I would say that at your age, you've got energy to burn, so go ahead build an empire. But I suspect that one day you will start getting that empire out of your life. There’s been a couple of times we've been on the streets, we were on the Swiss Riviera the other day and you're walking around the streets and you're on the phone dealing with something. I don't know what you were dealing with, but it looked important. Without an empire, I don’t have anything to deal with. I'm enjoying the day. [He whistles]

Robert: Very chilled.

Stewart: There you are, young man, young Pac Man.

Robert: Can that be my nickname from now on for you? You just call me Pac Man.

Stewart: Yeah

Robert: I like that. That’s very retro.

Stewart: Well, I have sons, several who are older than you.

Robert: You have seven children.

Stewart: I have seven children.

Robert: Boy.

Stewart: Yeah. Four boys and then three girls, and I'm proud to say that some of my sons are also Pac Men.

Robert: Yeah. So you like Pac Man?

Stewart: Well, that's what I try to raise them to be. At this age, from 25 to 35, that's your chance. Take no prisoners, just remorseless, just bite off as much as you can get and do it while you've got no baggage and just you know... Fight, scramble and then there will come a point where you want to put down roots and take it a bit easier, and that's called midlife crisis.

What the crisis is all about is you realise that that's the peak. That's where your youthful vigour got you and the rest of your life is the result of that 10 years span. That 10 years is setting up what the rest of your life will be. I would say, you asked for a piece of advice, focus your attention on the things that you know you'll still want to be doing–which apply to your gift, not to your acumen.

Robert: Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight on the stage.

Stewart: Absolutely.

Robert: Thanks, mate.

Stewart: We’re going to rock the house.

Robert: Thank you very much.

Stewart: In your bare feet.

Robert: Yeah.

Robert: Hey, it's me again. Sorry to bug you but as this is a new podcast, I need your help.

If you enjoyed listening to the fun I had with Stewart and you'd like more, then please head over to thebackstageblog.com, sign up and receive the next podcast directly to your inbox. It's also crucial that you get as many friends on and off social media to take a listen by sending them a link to the show.

Now, remember, this episode is brought to you with the help of Lat_56, the smart, sharp and efficient baggage company. So, until the next time, appreciate the music and the musicians will appreciate you.

Show notes

Stewart's Father, Miles Copeland Jr., is a spy [03.51]

Key points from Stewart’s childhood [04:45]

His father’s best buddy was Kim Philby, a double-agent. [07:20]

Stewart took up drums partly because he was a late bloomer. [10:03]

Why he believes that music is part of the procreative process of the human being. [12:07]

When his father spotted his talent, Stewart was signed up for drum lessons. [14:00]

The Police was modelled as a punk band and enjoyed huge success after Shea Stadium. [17:02]

A grand aspiration: Stewart would love to conduct a large orchestra. [22:00]

Stewart and Robert strike a deal for the next Tyrant’s Crush performance. [24:04]

The biggest leap from drummer to composer happened when Stewart got a phone call from Francis Ford Coppola. [29:15]

How he failed to get into the music school at University of California, Berkeley. [35:19]

A lesson in Stewart’s philosophy of the dumb shit and the dumb ass. [36:10]

Stewart’s prediction for the music industry in 20 years’ time. [42:16]

Another theory: without rock music, there will not be sex. [44:06]

If the only reason humans pro-create is Vivaldi, we would all be fucked. [47:03]

Stewart has no desire for an empire. [51:10]

Selected links from the episode

thebackstageblog.com

Miles Copeland Jr.

Kim Philby

The Police

The Black Knights

Ben-Hur

Francis Ford Coppola

Shea Stadium

Tyrant’s Crush

Hans Zimmer

Lat_56 

Books, Music and Videos that feature Stewart Copeland

Strange Things Happen: A life with The Police, polo and pygmies - an autobiography from Stewart covering everything you need to know

Dare to Drum - a story of the rock star composer teaming up with the Dallas Symphony Orchestra

Ben Hur live by Stewart Copeland - a CD performed by the Slovak National Symphony Orchestra

Orchestralli (+ bonus) - a 2 disk set of Copeland performing in concert with a select group of classical musicians on tour in Italy

Gizmodrome - a record of Copeland’s latest band, featuring Mark King (Level 42), Adrian Belew (ex King Crimson, David Bowie, Frank Zappa, Talking Heads) and Vittorio Cosma (PFM and Elio e le Storie Tese).

The Police: Everyone Stares - The Police Inside Out - DVD filmed on Super-8 giving an insider’s view of the band’s rise to fame and eventual split.

Related & Recommended Posts

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Spoiler-Free KH3 Review

This review will not contain any spoilers for the story content of Kingdom Hearts III; the only mechanics I will mention with regards to gameplay are the ones that we have seen in the trailers. As this may get a little long, the rest is under the cut.

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I am exceedingly biased. I am one of the originals; I am one of the ancients who remembers when the first game came out and what it felt like to see the groundbreaking technology it used in 2002 when I was twelve years old. I’ve had every game at launch and been fortunate enough to keep up with the various handhelds and consoles that the series has spanned. Kingdom Hearts has become an ingrained part of who I am, and I find it difficult to remember a time when it didn’t exist. After all, it’s been around for far more than half of my life now, so it’s as if it’s always been there. That isn’t to say that I don’t recognize that it has shortcomings, but that’s the same with any game or other media. It’s made by humans, and as such, there will always be room to improve. Nevertheless, I am a hardcore Kingdom Hearts fan and love this series more than this post will ever intimate. That said, I am going to attempt to keep this review as impartial as possible. Let’s see how well I do, shall we?

Gameplay:

Honestly, this was the part I was most nervous about. As I watched all the trailers, it felt like an overload to see just how much you could do in this game compared with the prior installments. Adding that to the upgraded technology we saw them using, like a smartphone, and I began to wonder... Was this going to feel like a Kingdom Hearts game? Would it be as magical as the others? Don’t get me wrong: all the new mechanics looked exciting and spectacular. I simply felt that it would be hard to keep it all straight and that updating the technology would mean leaving behind everything that made the series so special to me. 

It turned out that my concerns were unwarranted. KH3 has my favorite gameplay system yet. Running up walls is still a little disorienting, but the rest is magnificent. Summons are fun and interactive in a way that previous entries weren’t, offering the player more opportunities to interact with the environment rather than merely wait for the summon to do their thing while mashing X or triangle. Attraction flow was phenomenal and extremely useful, and alongside older additions like flowmotion and shotlocks, they created a much more diverse experience. Even the standard combos were more artistic and gave you options for what to do next. As someone who has always been more of a melee person than a magic-user, I had a blast with the magic in this game. (Pun intended.) There were a lot of instances where I used that more than my physical attacks. And all that new technology Sora uses? It turns out that it was just as magical as ever. A different type of magic, sure, but magical all the same. There was nothing about the gameplay that was less than stellar to me.

Graphics:

Good Lord, do you have time? I’ve never been a snob when it comes to graphics. As long as the story is captivating, I’m good with just about any art style. Even so, I’m being entirely real when I say that some of those cutscenes made me cry purely because everyone looked so beautiful. The team really brought the thunder and showed us that the extra time they needed to get used to this engine was not in vain. On the contrary, it’s easy to see that these talented artists are experts in their field when you get a load of what they managed to accomplish. The style shifted with the theme of the world; many of them upped the ante and had full, opening-quality CGI cutscenes at the end or at various other points. If you ever felt like you were pulled out of the experience because of the more cartoonish elements of the previous games, then fear not. You’ll forget there’s a real world as you traverse some of these.

Music:

Another triumph. Everything is perfectly balanced between new tracks and the familiar ones we recognize from as far back as the first game. That’s something I personally appreciate a lot, even though it may be nostalgia talking. As someone who is very attuned to emotion as it is conveyed through music, I felt that they used the songs we revere at just the right times to evoke an emotional response in anyone who played the other games. And the new tunes? Oh, man. Every time I think there’s no topping what they’ve already done, Yoko Shimomura and the other composers that have contributed to the series prove me wrong. I can’t wait to buy the soundtrack when they make it.

Easter Eggs:

If you’re an old hand like me, then you’re going to love all the little surprises hidden in the dialogue, the worlds, and the situations. If you’re not… Well, I hope that they make you want to go back and see what the references mean!

Story:

Yup, I saved this one for last as I think it is the most important. Kingdom Hearts is a series built on its extensive storyline. (Notice that I said extensive and not convoluted. Sorry, but I’ve never seen it as being hard to understand, although I recognize and respect that not everyone agrees.)

Let’s start with the Disney worlds. I already mentioned that they are stylistically gorgeous. There are many instances where you can’t tell that you aren’t really playing inside that particular movie. The only exception is in the Caribbean, but that’s pretty understandable; even so, the animation is spectacular and makes it look real without the uncanny valley sensation. There is a typical balance of worlds that rehash what happened in their movies as well as ones that have original storylines designed to act as sequels of a sort. Both are done phenomenally well. I think the only thing that gave me pause was the length of some of the cutscenes. Again, that’s understandable given how much content they had to pack into this game in order to provide closure, and since I am always a big fan of story over gameplay, it didn’t bother me. Just be aware that if you prefer to have short cutscenes or none at all, there will be a lot of them.

Speaking of cutscenes, they did a fantastic job with pacing this game. Rather than traveling to a set number of worlds before advancing the main plot, you see what is going on with our collective heroes every time you complete a world. As such, you end up with a more solid flow that shows there is progress on all fronts and connects what Sora learns in each world to the larger plot, especially when Organization members come into play in the worlds he visits. I know some people have said that the “relevant” plot is only in the last few hours, but I honestly felt that there was a lot of very important information and development between world visits that was absolutely necessary. It also served as a nice break since each world was significantly longer than any of the others in the series thus far.

Now, about the original, non-Disney storyline. As I said, I’ve been in this fandom for seventeen years—I am very well aware of the various criticisms that the series has received. Some, I understand even if I don’t agree; others, I’m afraid I just can’t wrap my head around. Needless to say, my mind was boggled when I finally logged back into all my social media to see that there are actually people claiming the game is incomplete. It seems like every game is “incomplete” these days if it didn’t have every single thing that people wanted. That being said…

This game is complete. Period.

Once again, I think perhaps you have to have lived with the series for a long time to understand that this is how it works: you tie up a major plot point and then get punched in the gut with a new mystery to look forward to deciphering in the next game. Admittedly, that sucker-punch was more of a sucker-here-let-me-throw-you-off-a-cliff-and-send-your-heart-into-eternal-torment this time, but still. We’re accustomed to this formula. It’s something specific to the Kingdom Hearts series, whereas many other games tend to tie up everything as a single experience and then create a brand new storyline if they make a sequel. That’s just not how Kingdom Hearts works, which is fine by me. As promised, the Xehanort Saga has indeed come to an end. Kingdom Hearts, however, is still going to continue, and they clearly built the game with that concept in mind. That’s all I will say about that to avoid spoilers.

…Actually, no it’s not. A word of advice: have tissues handy.

Okay, that is all I will say about that to avoid spoilers.

Overall Rating:

A+++++++++++++

This game won’t please everyone. No game or anything else ever does. Regardless, this was worth every second of the years I’ve waited to play it, and I finished the game pumped to hype up the next one. I tried to go in with no expectations to avoid disappointment, but I shouldn’t have bothered. This is a phenomenal conclusion to the Xehanort Saga, and I am so grateful to Nomura and his team for the time, energy, and love they put into this game.

If you’re a KH fan, I don’t have to tell you how amazing this is. If you’re not, then this is still a super fun gaming experience that will keep you interested if for no other reason than the gameplay and Disney elements. Either way, I wrote this review because I had to get it off my chest before the stuff I reblog (all marked #kh3 spoilers, of course) hits my dash. I hope you enjoyed my take, and may your heart be your guiding key!

Whew. There. Totally unbiased opinion.

Totally.

[impalaanddemons]

One Jump - Part 4

A/N: Aw yeah. I’m back in business. I have two more party planned to wrap this up. This part has mutual pining. The way to Scottys heart is through the Enterprise.

Story: Reader grew up on a planet that’s basically Tatooine in Star Trek. She’s a thief and tried to steal from the wrong Starfleet-Officer, getting herself stuck on the Enterprise.

3000 words. @eufeme rubs off on me....

Soundtrack is “A whole new world” from “Aladdin”. You have been warned.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You finally woke hours later - your room empty and the ship humming lowly. The fever was gone and, just as the doctor had promised, you felt a lot better. No bethaoizdan fleas anymore, you guessed, carefully lifting yourself into an upright position. Your head was still buzzing and someone - the one. the engineer. - had thankfully positioned a glass of water just next to your bed. Of course the water helped. „Great, now I owe him something.“, you muttered under your breath, then, after your head cleared enough, you got up an carefully stretched. You looked around the blank walls lacking any kind of personal touch. „And now?“ Silence.

Someone brought food a little while later, but had - despite considerable efforts charming him - nothing to say about your situation. You spent some time examining the funny texture of the stuff before you ate it, not because you felt like an ape from the stone age, but because you had nothing better to do. Again time slogged along without you participating in it’s passing. It was a boring, dull experience that made you wish for Mr. Scott or the Doctor reappearing. Your hopes rose as your door opened once again, but ti was just another faceless person clad in a red uniform to you. He handed you a grey dress - same uniform the others wore, minus the colour. „Did I get a promotion during my absence yesterday?“ you asked jokingly, but where only greeted with a nonchalant smile. „Yeah, please don’t be overbearing or something like that.“, you rolled your eyes. „I’m dying with all the attention here. Gonna get a heart-„ but the doors had already closed behind you again. „Damn it.“ you mumbled.

By the time the door opened for the next time you had already examined every nook of your quarters and finally resigned to lie in your bed in your new dress, slightly uncomfortable with the way it left your knees unprotected and nearly bored to death. „Y/A“ - Captain Kirks presence filled the room as soon as he entered it. No wonder he was captain of a ship. He had charisma and his beaming smile probably had won over more diplomats and women then anyone could count. Sly bastard. He was followed by his loyal entourage - the vulcan - a species you’d had rarely contact with so far - the dark haired doctor on his other side and even Mr. Scott trailing along. „Ah, hm, Captain!“ you sat up and gave him your most charming smile in return. „Do I have to say ‚Sir‘ in return or have I not yet been enlisted?“ He smiled - well, a bit, and shook his head. „No one is going to enlist you, we’ve got regulations after all. Freedom of will being one of them.“ „At least when it comes to enlisting,“ mumbled the Doctor next to him. He was only barely audible, but Kirk threw him a stern look nonetheless. „That was highly unnecessary,“ the vulcan added in his neutral voice. „Good god you’re bickering like an old married couple.“ you giggled and you could swear that Mr. Scott was smiling at you. „Not that our relationship status should be of much concern to you, young lady.“ he smiled again. It was very difficult to be angry with him for keeping you on the ship. „As you have more pressing concerns right now.“ „Ah, the trial. Bring it on. I am prepared.“ you crossed your legs and smoothened the fabric of your grey uniform with your hand. The scotsman, who had been quiet for the whole time so far, frowned. „There’s no trial.“, Kirk responded and crossed his arms in front of his chest. „Not yet.“ „Although it is worthy to note“, that was the vulcans voice again - stern, eyeing you suspiciously. „That we found 53 offenses in 14 different cities on the planet. Captain Kirk has decided to not follow through with local law.“ „Which, if I may cite my first officer, is ‚highly illogical‘. But being the situation as it is I suppose most of the local courts are not opposed to being bribed.“ „Yes, the concept of institutionalized exchange of goods to avoid persecution of the law is rather … interesting.“ „Thank you, Mr. Spock“, Kirk interfered and a smile tugged at his lips again. „I propose a quid pro quo.“ Meeting your blank stare, he explained further: „We are looking for a peculiar piece of equipment on the planet you haven’t gotten the chance to steal yet.“ You did your best to look mortally offended at his suggestion, but gestured him to yes please keep going on. “Mr. Scott here would fill you in on the details, tell and show you what to look out for. Then you’d acquire the equipment for us.“ Mr. Spock felt it necessary to intervene: „By legal means of course.“ „Yes - and after we have the equipment we need, you’re free to go wherever you want.“ Somehow you felt that the Captain wasn’t as opposed to get what he needed by other means if necessary as his first officer was. Something in your brain tried to pinch you, but you didn’t quite get it. „Why me?“ you asked and quickly followed your question up: „I mean, yes, I can do that for you. Sounds like a fair deal and you starfleet types are way too ‚by-the-book‘ to shy out of that. But why me? You’ve got a ship full of people. You’ve got Mr. Scott here, who is I guess married to this thing. Why me?“ Kirk chuckled and the Doctor at his side smiled amused. „Let’s just say that I see a worthy local guide and I think we’re going to need someone able to navigate the more delicate places down there.“ He rubbed his hands together and looked satisfied now. „With that sorted out, I’ll leave you to Mr. Scott.“.

Mr. Scott and you eyed each other cautiously. You had not forgotten how nice he’d been to you - but neither had you forgotten that he was the reason you were stuck here in the first place. He in turn looked at you like one would look at a wild cat - a tense beast where one had reason to be mindful of every move. „Well, Lass,“ he shuffled with his feet and cleared his throat. „Better follow me to Engineering then. Captain’s given you clearance to move around the Enterprise“ he opened the door and gestured for you to leave the room, then added: „To a certain extent.“

The Enterprise was a whole new world - more than a city really, more than a ship, it was a little planet in itself and the warp core was its living beating heart. Mr. Scott explained the shifts, that you were in Beta right now and pretty late already. He then gave you a general rundown of the most important bits of the ship - mess hall („Yes, Lass, we’re goin’ to go there. Yes, you can get everything ya want. No. Not now.“), lift („Ya’re restricted to certain decks, don’t try, otherwise we’ll know.“) and the ships belly - engineering. Even there you weren’t allowed to go just everywhere, but it was a good enough start. He showed you the main engineering room, his rough hands stroking over the warm metal. Where others may have seen an inapt sexuality - but you saw a gentle devotion there, an intimate worship that went beyond physical.

You were in fact sitting on his desk, careful not to touch any buttons by accident, your legs dangling from the edge, leaning slightly forward while listening to his rundown of the main reactor.

You were slightly suspicious that Captain Kirk had perhaps not in mind for you to learn the whole manual of the warp core, but since the alternative was to sit alone and brooding in your room, this was you’d complain about. It was also nice to learn something about this ship. At least that’s what you told yourself. „ … and tha’s how ya modulate the subspace bands.“ he finished and looked up, making a hushing gesture to get you off of his desk. You jumped down, smirking up at him. „All that talk has made me hungry, Mr. Scott.“ „Ach…are ye ever not hungry?“ he lifted an eyebrow and grinned at you. That was a new one, you thought and then shrugged. „Don’t think so, Mr. Scott.“ „Then follow me, Lass. Jus’ wanted ta give ya a short introduction anyways. We’re getting to the real work tomorrow.“ You shot him an side eye but said nothing. „And Lass…“ „Yes?“ „It’s Scotty for ya. Just good ol’ Scotty.“

While eating with him you learned that he was in fact rather easy going - other crew members would regularly come up to the table you were sitting at, greeting him and throwing you curious glances. With your grey uniform you stuck out like a sore thumb. He was called „Mr. Scotty“ or „Scotty“ depending on the person. The younger those addressing him were, the most likely it was for them to be more formal around him. You even heard the occasional „Sir“. Food was good - better then a lot of stuff you’d had before and since you could choose your dinner it was even to your taste. „Ya’ve ever been on a ship before?“ You shook your head while simultaneously stuffing the last bites of food into your mouth. „Nah… Never been off planet before.“ He just nodded, silently, and watched you finishing your plate. „Ya know we got someone to clean the plates. Ya don’t need to do it here.“ For a second you just stared at him, then broke into laughter. „You know, for an uptight starfleet type you’re surprisingly funny.“ He laughed with you.

At the start of that Gamma shift you lay awake for a while before falling to sleep. Staring at the ceiling with the lights dimmed down. Turning around every now and then. Yeah. You were definitely taking this pillow with you.

„And that’s how you decide if it’s an Type A or a Type B modulator, lass…. lass… are ye even listening to me?“ You snapped back to attention, cleared your throat and tried your best to look innocent. „Sorry, Mr. Scott.“ He had been pushing facts about gadgets and machinery and even physics in your head for the last 3 days and sometime around noon yesterday, you had felt how your brain had basically shut the flood gates and resigned to nodding along and staring at him. Which you had enjoyed quite a bit. The staring, not the nodding part. Whenever he picked something up you had the opportunity to ogle at a very fine backside in those black trousers and there was no denying that his broad shoulders were filling his uniform just perfectly. Not that you would’ve said something like that aloud. „…listening?“ So much for snapping back to attention. „I’m sorry… it’s just…“, you sighed, got off your chair and stretched. „I’m someone employed in commodity trading..“ „Ya mean petty thief.“ „…not an engineer. It’s all been a bit much.“, you finished and shrugged, no biting at his remark. „Don’t have ta be an engineer to get this, come over.“ you followed order and stepped up to his side. „Look, if ya turn it around…“ „They both look the same. They’re identical. I swear you’re making that up.“ „‘am not.“, he sighed, a deep furrow appearing on his brow.

Handing you over the item he grabbed one of your hands and took it in his.

„Look“, the engineer muttered and his calloused fingers rubbed against the back of your hand as he gently pushed your hand over the smooth metal. „Feel that concave there?“. You nodded, prefering to better not say anything right now.

„Now take that“, without letting go of your hand he took Type A (or Type B?) from your hand and gave you the other one. He slid your hand over the metal once again and you could feel his admiration for the fine piece of machinery in the way he applied gentle pressure, stretched your fingers slightly to show you just how and where the structure bent exactly. Right there you could really imagine those hands doing that somewhere else. Someone seemed to have dropped a hot lump of coal in your belly, where it sank deeper and made your cheeks burn. „I… see, Scotty.“ stumbling over the words you looked up from the thing in your hands and stared right up into hazel eyes, darkening as he met your gaze. For seconds you stood there - just staring at each other like idiots, or like cats still undecided to fight. Finally - it felt like hours. Hours someone used to fill more coal into your body - the engineer let go of your hands, turning around to put everything back in place. „That’ll be all for tonight, Y/N. Ya’re good to go.“

You waited for a moment to see if he would join you for your meal, like he did before. But he busied himself with putting everything back to place and after politeness and hope turned to awkwardness you rushed to get some food alone.

You hastily took your meal with you to your quarters, eating in silence before dimming your nights and staring at that ceiling once more. A deep sigh escaped your throat. Tomorrow was the last day of „training“ and then you were off, back where you belonged and far away from this complicated world. You burrowed your burning face in the pillow.

„Wait a second, Lassie.“ You stopped your trajectory leading you to the mess hall and instead converted that bouncing energy in your step to turn around. „Mr. Scott.. Scotty?“ The engineer smiled at you for a second, putting that thing (Type-I-Dunno-It’s-Made-of-steel) back where it belonged to. If you had to get one of those, you probably wouldn’t find the right one. Well. Their loss. „Would ya come to my office after ya’r meal?“ You nodded warily, waiting for more of an explanation. „Tha’s all, thank ya.“

That was mysterious. At least for Starfleet standards. You choked down some food without even tasting it and proceeded to walk down to his office in engineering, your beating heart suppressing even the Enterprises low hum. He probably just wanted to do some last minute mission briefing. A few more lectures about machinery, or warp chore architecture, maybe another delighting evening of diagrams and techno babble. A last chance to admire his features. „There ya are. Follow me.“, his tone was almost brisk and commanding. It was so unusual, even though you only knew him for a couple of days really, that you followed his step without asking any questions. The scotsman looked as if he were in deep thought as he led you to the turbo lift, typed something on the panel there and crossed his arms behind his back without looking at you. You did consider asking him, but his stern look kept you from inquiring. You had never been in this room before, you knew that for sure. It was almost empty, sprawling at least half a deck wide. You stared in astonishment as you became aware of the fact, that half of the ships hull was transparent, offering a panorama view of your surroundings. „Ya told me that ya’ve never been on a ship before,“ Scottys accent grew thicker as he spoke, rumbling through the words with a deep rich sound that reminded you of a distant storm in the desert. „Thought you’d appreciate the view“, he continued and took your hand, leading you forward, directly in front of the glass. „And here I thought you were going to throw me out of an airlock for being a nunsance,“ you joked. He grinned, but did not respond and instead let go of your hand. „Wait fer it…“ The stars around you turned and it felt as if you were stumbling, your eyes getting the information of sudden movement where your inner ear noticed nothing. It felt like swaying in the breeze and then there it was - a orange ball, bright yellow spots and grey fumes hiding parts of the world beneath your feet. Your breath caught and this time you grabbed his hand, if only to anchor yourself in this reality. „Is this…?“ „Aye“, he squeezed your hand gently. An excited buzz filled your belly, spread through your veins and along your spine.

You wanted to answer something, anything really but words escaped you as the Enterprise took it’s turn around the planet. Something blue shimmered down there and the distant memory of an ocean stirred in your heart, reminding you of the smell of plants and salt and sand under your feet. „Captain’s flying a maneuver right now“, he explained as the planets surface slowly vanished out of sight, was replaced by stars lighting up in the distance. His hand still squeezing yours sent a burning sensation up your arm and a cold shudder down your spine. „I could stay up here forever, Scotty.“ the admission came not easily to you, but up here, far above the sand and the dirts and the cloud it felt relevant to say it out aloud. „We dinnae have forever, but ye can have tonight.“

He was looking down on you and you were staring up. Neither of you said anything, with only the endless sky of the universe rushing past you. Your world shrank down to his eyes and his thumb absent mindedly rubbing over the skin of your hand. Your world faltered into a single second, a moment that stretched into eternity where you got on the tip of your toes and took in the expression of satisfied disbelief as you pressed your lips on his. His sigh was one of relief and in one smooth movement he let go of your hand to pull you into his arms.

„I’ll kill you“, you mumbled in between to kisses. You felt how his lips formed a smile. „Sure, lass.“ The both of you knew there were eyes on you, but neither of you did care. Your fingers wove through his black hair, nesting at the back of his head. There was his body so close to yours - his arms wide enough for you to get lost in his embrace, his smell of cologne and electronics and oil attaching itself to you. „I’ll accompany ya to the surface tomorrow.“, he whispered at your ear. Your heart jolted a little at the thought. „And .. if ye want… dinnae… I’ve a wee something to drink at my quarters an’ maybe ye want to …“ „Shut up, Mr. Scott.“, you kissed him again, making every further explanation futile.

His breast moved up and down as he slept, your fingers sprawled over his skin, touching him while you were lost in thought, slowly drifting away into sleep. He muttered something indistinguishable in his sleep, turning around so that a heavy hand could land on your hip. Maybe, you thought, eyelids heavy. Maybe you should steal something else.

TAG LIST! PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!

@webhoard @inaugural13 @thebloody3agle @sassymissmyra @flowerbunbunny @anotherotter @theleonardmccoy @thewalkingdeanisdanielhowell @dirajunara-archive @mustanglegends @elinanve @gracieinanovel @noodledragonoverloard @newhappiness430 @ambie2020 @trashcan-to-end-all-trashcans @biologik 

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 5

Read on ao3

It’s bright and early the following Monday and Alec has a full day. In the morning, he’s taping the preliminary footage for his Good Morning America slot that will predominantly be live on Friday. In the afternoon, he has two meetings. One is with Out Magazine. He’s their cover for the next issue and he has a photo shoot and interview. The other is with the record execs to discuss the next phase of his career: Album 7, as yet untitled.

Alec hasn’t told anyone, but he’s wildly unsure about where he wants to go. Where does one go after completing their third sold-out world tour? He's been at the top for so long that he doesn't know what else he can do. He fears he's reached his limit. He hasn’t written a song in weeks and the little new material he has is no good.

He’s suffering from extreme writer’s block. Nothing feels fresh. Everything is generic, stale. Mediocre. Alec very much fears that his good luck has run out. He’s spent ten years in the limelight and that’s more than most artists ever have.

Truth be told, Alec is disenchanted with the whole scene. He can’t help but think about that guy from the club. Whatever-his-name-was had been only too eager to sleep with Alec, forget that he was apparently in a committed relationship. People can be shit, and Alec knows that better than most, but it doesn’t help him feel any less like a piece of meat. A commodity.

Everyone wants Alec Lightwood, superstar. They want the guy that can hook them up with floor seats to the Lakers or score them a table at the restaurant du jour without reservations. Alec is the guy who can whisk you away for a weekend trip to Belize, first class all the way.

They want that Alec.

No one sticks around for the less glamorous man. The Alec that’s deathly afraid of spiders, has a hideous fondness for hole-riddled hoodies, and whose favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice. Only a handful of people know Alec under the surface. He likes it that way. He does. But half of that number is family and the other half might as well be. It’d be nice to meet someone who cared about him, the person. Not him, the celebrity.

But, it is what it is, and Alec needs to stop moping and get ready for the day. He wakes up around six in the morning, goes for a run to the Black Panther soundtrack, and when he returns to the penthouse, Jace and Izzy are in the kitchen.

Jace wakes up every morning at the ass crack of dawn to open his gym and who the hell knows why Izzy is up so early. She is notoriously not a morning person.

She’s swallowed up by, it looks like, one of his hoodies. She’s staring at the coffee machine with a kind of singular focus that she usually reserves for the camera or a biology textbook. She doesn’t acknowledge him and he just grabs an apple from the bowl on the counter and heads to his room, throwing a nod to Jace as they pass each other.

He munches on the apple while scrolling through his phone. He answers a few tweets and posts an Insta pic of the three of them from over the weekend. They’re all at Uptown Java with the caption it’s good to be home.

Alec takes a shower and gets ready for the day. He throws on a pair of olive green ankle pants with a lightweight navy sweater and a pair of light brown Oxfords. He throws on his sunglasses, grabs his wallet, and leaves the apartment.

When he gets downstairs, he chats to the doorman for a few minutes. His name is Charles and he’s tall and lean like a greyhound. He’s at least eighty years old and has been working as a doorman since Alec moved in-- probably since before Alec was even born. He’s a sweet man who loves crossword puzzles and sweet tea. He always remembers Alec’s birthday and brings him a pie his wife baked every Sunday when he’s in town.

After talking with Charles, he heads out to the sidewalk. There are only one or two paps hovering around his building and Alec ignores them and their cameras. He’s gotten good at ignoring journalists over the years and they’re usually just like pesky gnats. The town car is waiting for him and his driver, Dave, opens the back door with a grin.

“How are you doing this morning, Mr. Lightwood?”

Alec grins back and throws him a nod. “I’m doing just fine today Dave. How about you? How’re the kids?”

“Well, little Elise won an award at the science fair over the weekend and Davy Jr.’s obsession this month is Simon’s latest album.”

Alec laughs a little. “Simon’s album has been a success. It's holding steady in the Billboard Top 100 and Lewis is ecstatic. I could get Davy a shirt, if you think he’d like it?”

Dave’s smile widens. “You know damn well that Davy would love anything having to do with Simon. I’d appreciate it, man.”

Alec has one leg in the car and looks at Dave over the open door. “I’ll see what I can do. Tell Elise congratulations and that she’ll have to explain to me what her experiment was the next time I see her. The two of them will have to visit Izzy, Jace, and me soon and catch us up. I'm sure Elise would love to chat with Izzy about all things science.”

Dave laughs as Alec sits down. “Will do, Mr. Lightwood.”

The drive to the television station is only half an hour, a minor miracle in New York traffic. Alec spends that time answering emails and catching up on the news.

They pull up in front of the building and when Dave opens his door, he’s immediately bombarded with cameras and shouts. Most of the people are journalists, whom Alec largely ignores. There are a few fans waiting on the sidewalk by the front doors, though, and Alec goes over to each of them. He spends a few minutes talking to them and getting pictures taken.

A few fans have gifts for him, which he warmly accepts. It always surprises him how thoughtful his fans can be. One girl brought him a handmade rainbow bracelet that he immediately puts on his wrist and a couple of boys give him a little penguin plushy the size of his fist. It’s cute as hell and Alec gives everyone a hug for coming out and seeing him.

He heads inside and is ushered through the labyrinth of hallways by an eager and attentive assistant. Alec spends the next few hours talking to more people than he can keep up with. He spends some time working on publicity shots for advertising and gets a better idea of the itinerary for Friday.

By the time he leaves ABC’s headquarters, it’s lunchtime and he has barely enough time to scarf down a hot dog from a street vendor before it’s time to head to his record company’s headquarters in Lower Manhattan. It’s forty-five minutes of bumper to bumper traffic and Alec's almost climbing out of the car before it comes to a complete stop. He’s never late for anything work-related and he strides into Institute Records with three minutes to spare.

Lydia is just inside, waiting for him. She’s on her phone, typing in a flurry, and looks sharp in a five thousand dollar suit. She looks every inch the agent and Alec is grateful that she’s always on top of things.

Without looking up, she asks, “What did you have for lunch?”

Alec says, “A hot dog from the vendor on the corner of 4th and Braxton.”

Lydia suppresses a full body-shudder. “I don’t know how you eat those things, never mind that you seem to love hot dogs with all the fervor of a teenage boy.”

Alec laughs. “Hotdogs are classic. They’re about as All-American as you can get and they hit the spot on a busy day running around New York.”

Lydia hums but doesn’t offer any other reply. She taps on the screen one last time before sliding her phone into her briefcase and finally looking at him.

“So, do you know the game plan for this meeting?”

Alec raises a brow. “Artfully misdirect and willfully play dumb?”

Sighing, Lydia says, “As a last resort, yes. Are you telling me there’s still nothing new that you want to show the label?”

“No.”

Lydia looks at him, appraisingly. “Okay, then. Since that’s the case, we’ll follow your plan. Remember, the primary goals here are to set a due date for first demos and discuss the music video we’re doing for your last single from An Arrow in the Dark. We’ll try to extend the timeline until. . . August 1st? That will give us another month for you to produce more material. What do you think about that deadline?”

An Arrow in the Dark was his sixth album and had sold over a million copies within its first week of release. He only had one more single-- Empty Hearts-- to release from that album cycle and was excited to start filming for the music video. Empty Hearts was one of his favorite tracks from that record and he was looking forward to talking to different producers and directors to see what each of them would pitch for the video concept.

Alec thinks about it for a minute, before responding, “Yeah. That’ll do it. I should hopefully have at least one damn song by then. Besides, I think that’s the best we’re going to get with them.”

Alec loves Institute Records. He’s been with them since he was sixteen and they’ve always been more than generous to him. However, he is under no illusions that he is anything but a cash cow to them. As soon as the well dries up, so to speak, he will have a pile of problems with them. He’d just better hope that this writer’s block eases up soon.

Alec and Lydia walk into the boardroom and are confronted with half a dozen executives in rigid suits, all in varying shades of navy or black. The label president, Jia Penhallow, is in good spirits and the meeting lasts the standard three hours. Lydia is a shark, always preserving Alec’s interests, and Alec appreciates that she does her job thoroughly and unapologetically. By the end of the meeting, Alec has his demo extension and is set to review potential directors during the first week in July-- roughly three weeks from now. Lydia and he shake hands with everyone before leaving.

Alec takes a deep breath once they’re back on the street and Lydia does the same, unbuttoning the top buttons of her dress shirt and taking her suit jacket off, draping it over her arm.

“Well that was more successful than I was banking on,” Lydia says dryly.

“Yeah, I’m surprised they were so chill about everything.”

Lydia shrugs a little. “Maybe in a rare fit of conscious, they saw that you needed a break from working nonstop. Or, they realized that their number one guy on the roster was burning out and they decided to back off in an effort to help you get your mojo back.”

“Whatever it was, I’m just glad they gave me a reprieve. But, I need to get my ass in gear and start writing some songs worthy of the Lightwood name.”

Digging through her bag for sunglasses, Lydia squints at him. “What about those sessions you’ve planned with Catarina Loss? Do you think those will be fruitful?”

Alec looks down the block, watching as a woman talks rapid-fire into her cell phone and a kid skateboards past, narrowly missing running over an old man. His voice is pensive as he replies.

“I don’t know, Lyd. I think that having the opportunity to write with her will be a huge boon to my career. A definite milestone. I just hope to hell we can write, that I can write something that makes goddamn sense. You’re my agent and my friend so I’ll tell you that I’ve written half a dozen songs in the past few months and they’re all garbage. I don’t know what I want my next album to sound like. I don’t know anything. I might be a little more burnt out than even I thought. I need to get my head in the write space to write-- I just don’t even know what that looks like these days.”

Lydia takes a few steps until she’s at his side and wraps her arm around his waist. Sympathetic, but with a hint of steel in her tone, she says, “I’m sorry you’ve hit a rough patch, Alec, but hopefully you can take some time from this break and regroup. Take a weekend and fly to a place where no one knows your name--” She ignores his snort of disbelief, “-- or try something you’ve never done before. Maybe you just need a change of pace. You’ll get over this. You know you will. You just might have to get inventive and change things up. Creativity never deals well with static. You know that.”

Thinking over what Lydia’s just said, Alec nods along. “You might have a point, I suppose. Maybe I’ll rent a cabin in Tennessee for a few days. Or, I could take a cooking class. Try something new.”

Lydia smiles brightly. “There you go! Something different to jumpstart your brain.”

With a sigh, Alec takes his arm from around her shoulders and steps back, putting distance between them.

“Well, as riveting as this conversation and pep talk was, I need to head uptown. I have that interview with Out in an hour.”

Walking backwards a few steps, Lydia nods. “Alright, then. I’m starving anyway. I need dinner soon or I might just faint.”

She turns sharply on her heel and throws over her shoulder, “Have fun! Don’t say anything that will give me a headache tomorrow morning.”

Alec grins and calls out, “No promises,” before turning and heading in the opposite direction.

His job is never-ending, a constant merry-go-round of concerts, meetings, and interviews. He’s hit a rocky patch right now, but damn if Alec doesn’t love his career, the constant flux, thrives off the hectic schedules. He looks wistfully at a pretzel stand as he strides past and ignores his stomach that’s started growling.

He has places to be and people to impress. Alec is thinking about answers to questions that will no doubt be asked this evening. Alec has been interviewed hundreds of times and they always ask the same questions. He knows his standard answers by rote. It never hurts to run through them again, though. He’s stuck in his head, walking on autopilot to the little cafe the interview is taking place at. He doesn’t notice the man on the other side of the street, walking quickly in the opposite direction.

Magnus doesn’t notice him either, too wrapped up in making it on time to his standing Monday night family dinner with his four favorite people in the entire world. Catarina will kill him if he’s late another week and he does so hate disappointing Madzie.

They're just two busy men among a million in New York City. Yet, they're both resolutely not thinking about the man they met a few nights ago and refuse to acknowledge just how often their thoughts stray to the handsome stranger that enthralled them late into the evening. They don't even notice the wistful sighs and pangs of yearning that escape them.

[starlight-adventurer]

TLNM Headcanons

This is the first time I’ve actually shared headcanons (and they’re really dumb). These are for the movie just because I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but I have ones for the series if anyone is interested.

Other than Nya and Kai, Cole and Jay have known each other the longest. They used to be neighbours before Jay's parents moved to the outskirts of Ninjago City.

Kai and Nya don't have parents. They both have jobs to be able to afford their apartment, although Kai insists he could just work two jobs so Nya has more time to study and focus on her grades.

Nya and Zane get the best grades out the group, across all of their subjects (the two of them have a friendly competition going whenever big tests come up, which the rest of the group find terrifying). Jay comes next with pretty good grades, especially in science and IT, then there's Cole and Lloyd (they get roughly the same) with middle-ish grades, Cole does best in art and music while Lloyd's better at english and foreign languages. Kai has the worst grades of the bunch (but not bad grades, he just gets Cs mainly), he's better at hands-on subjects like woodwork.

They often have movie nights at their base. Jay likes romance and sci-fi, Cole and Kai enjoy action movies, Lloyd prefers things with deep stories and morals, Nya likes monster movies and horror (she has nerves of steel) while Zane enjoys kung fu movies as well as animated films.

They argue over who had the most fans. It got to the point they did an online poll about it. Turns out Lloyd had the most fans, he was kind of smug about it for weeks.

They have a team fridge which they all keep food in. It used to get raided during the night so they set up a camera to see who it was. Turns out it was Wu in his sleep.

When they stay late at base after a battle to hang out and work on the mechs they take it in turns to get the food. When it's Kai or Nya they usually get takeout, Cole buys whatever he can find at the local store, Zane cooks for them on this portable stove he has, Jay brings some of his mom's cooking to share and Lloyd gets pastries from the nearest bakery.

After Koko found out about the ninja thing she started visiting their base often. She makes sure they all do their homework, are getting enough sleep, are eating properly and brings them snacks. It embarrasses Lloyd so much.

They have gaming tournaments sometimes. Usually the finalists are either Kai, Jay or Nya. If it's Kai and Nya the sibling rivalry is so thick you could cut it with a knife. With Jay and Kai there's a lot of playful shoving which ends up with one of them falling off the couch. Then when it's Nya and Jay it's a lot quieter, just super tense.

They have found fanfiction of people shipping the ninja together. Most of the time it's pretty funny, except when they ship Kai and Nya together. Kai actually passed out when they first found out, and he didn't wake up for an hour. They were worried they'd broken him.

No matter how old they get the Ninja will always go trick-or-treating. Kai insists they do it, and no one has the heart to tell him no because of how excited he gets.  

After the movie the group decided to look after Meowthra, they take turns feeding them and giving them belly rubs. It's basically their mascot now.

Movie Kai -

He's super athletic. It doesn't matter what sport it is, he's tried it at least once. Sometimes it isn't even a sport like dance or cheerleading.

Speaking of cheerleading, Kai tried out for the team at the start of the year since he thought it would be fun. He did a routine to something positive like 'Stick Together' (he didn't make the cut because he was friends with Lloyd (he didn't mind though)). P.S. The idea of cheerleader Kai is my jam!

He tries to get into what his friends are interested in, like he got into music when Cole started talking to the group about it or online videogaming when Jay said he had no one to play with.

He wants to make his friends happy no matter what. Seriously, Lloyd once texted him at 3am saying he was sad and Kai at his apartment in 10 mins panting, holding a shopping bag full of ice cream ready to chill with him.

Kai is incredibly clingy, especially when someone's upset. If he sees someone crying he will hug them for 3 hours straight and refuse to let go.

Clumsy is definitely a word to describe him. No one wants to be his lab partner thanks to what was lovingly dubbed the 'Storage room incident' (they still haven't repaired all the damages).

Despite him loving being a ninja, he's always worrying if something bad is going to happen to his friends. It keeps him up at night most of the time (it's the reason he sleeps in class so much).

Due to his irregular sleeping habits the other ninja have found him asleep in weird places. Such as: His mech, his locker, their double-decker couch, their regular couch, under his desk, the janitor's closet and the fridge (it was summer at the time).

He owns the teddy bear backpack (like from the concept art). He brought it to school a couple times but it got taken by some bullies, who his friends had to restrain him from beating to a pulp, and he hasn't taken it since.

He cares about his hair a lot. He carries around a hair brush with him at all time, as well as hairspray and dry conditioner. Kai also knowns how to do loads of different styles, including multiple kinds of braids.

Like his series counterpart, Kai is afraid of water and cannot swim. The group went to a waterpark once and he had to wear armbands and a floaty ring to go on the slides.

Movie Zane -

Zane has been called 'Mom' by each of his friends at least once, Lloyd does it the most.

When he sings he sounds like a vocaloid (if you don't what this is, look it up).

Speaking of that, he would probably enjoy listening to that music. He finds it relatable and nice to hear a computer singing.

He enjoys really mild food and can't process sugar that well, so he has flavourless food a lot (like his water flavoured popsicles)

He has a vlog about the ninja that they have all featured on more than once. His most popular videos are fail compilations he makes of their battles

He has the best handwriting, like he could a calligrapher it's that good. Jay cried when he looked at it the first time because he thought it was beautiful.

When he first started school he had no idea about personal space. He still doesn't get it now and so he's fine when Cole leans on him a lot.

Zane enjoys when winter comes around. He can't feel the cold that much so he often lends his scarf to Kai when the other is shivering. He can also ice skate which the others found amazing the first time they went to a rink together.

He doesn't sleep that much so he often stays up late messaging Kai on his phone (they talk about the strangest things)

He names every piece of tech he owns. His phone is called 'Yuki'.

During the first month of the ninjas being friends none of them saw Zane eat, since he doesn't need to that often. Until Kai had enough and took him out for ice cream, because he was sure he was going to eat it out of anything else.

Movie Cole -

He listens to music to help him sleep at night, even though he knows it's bad for him.

Cole has no sense of taste, like he'll eat anything, and he can handle really spicy food like it's nothing

He wants to have a song for every occasion, no matter how weird it is, since he thinks life should have a backing track. He constantly asks the others for situations so he can check if he has music for it yet. (He still hasn't found 'being bitten by a snake that was bitten by a spider' for Garmadon, but he's trying).

He will listen to music in other languages, sometimes he looks up lyrics if he's really curious but most of the time he just enjoys how other languages sound.

Cole knows how to play at least 10 instruments, including but not limited to the violin, the guitar, the drums, the flute and the piano.

He often forgets to brush his hair. When he and Kai started being friends Kai almost had a heart attack when he found out. Now the fire ninja makes sure he always has it brushed in the morning, even if he has to do it for him.

When he has to have classes without his headphones on, because the teacher took them or something, he starts humming or taps his foot. Anything to make noise, he doesn't like quiet all that much.

He can imitate phone notification noises. He does it in class when he's bored to see how many people move to check their phone (he caught the teacher out once, and couldn't stop laughing).

Cole's actually blue-yellow colour blind. He sometimes mistakes Jay for Lloyd and vice versa when they're in their ninja uniform.

Movie Jay -

Videogaming is way of life for him. He plays anything. Retro, PC, co-op, shooters; It really doesn't matter to him.

He listens to music while he games sometimes if he doesn't like the game soundtrack or if he needs to get pumped up.

Everyone knows about his crush on Nya, except Nya and Kai. The former because he hasn't told her yet and the latter due to the fact no one knows how he'll react to the news.

Gets sick a lot. It annoys him to no end. His mom is constantly sending him to school with thermoses of noodle soup for colds, and tons of medicine.

He gets stressed a lot. Jay has a habit of overthinking things to the point it hurts his head to think about. He's starting to drink herbal teas from Wu to help with it.

He has kitten sneezes. Everyone thinks it's the cutest thing ever.

He owns like a million scarfs, and they're all knitted by his mom. He refuses to get rid of any of them because of how long she spent on each one.

He is terrified of Furbys, he thinks they're creepy and shouldn't be given to kids.

Jay can actually knit for himself but only makes stuff for other people as gifts.

Movie Nya -

Her grades are the most important thing in her life, besides her bike.

She hates getting ill, because she thinks it makes her look weak and she doesn't want Kai to miss school to take care of her. Even if he insists he can afford time off school.

Was voted: 'Most likely to get away with murder', by her classmates. She wears the title like a badge of honour.

Out of all the ninja she's definitely the most intimidating. Anyone who calls her 'harmless' has regretted it.

Nya enjoys reading in her free time. She likes all types of stories, including manga, comics and visual novels.

She pulls pranks more than most people would expect. It's the reason she didn't get invited to many 'girls only' sleepovers as a kid, due to drawing on people’s faces among other things.

When she found out Koko was Lady Iron Dragon it took her a week to build up the courage to ask for her autograph. (Which is currently framed on her bedroom wall.)

Usually forgets to eat breakfast in the morning, so Zane started bringing her snacks before school so Kai won't worry about her health.

She's super supportive of all of her friends. She's usually the one cheering the loudest for them and patting them on the back for a job well done.

Her dream is to travel the world after they graduate. She wants to see everything the world has to offer, but she always insists her home base will be Ninjago.

Movie Lloyd -

When he's sad he eats sugary food, especially ice cream. It worries his mom so he doesn't do it that much nowadays.

He's a closeted fanboy of anime. Like he has posters and stuff all over his room, which his mom finds adorable, but he refuses to show any of his friends. Kai found out about by accident and started watching shows with him.

Much like his series counterpart, when Lloyd was a kid he had a bowl cut. Cole found a picture of it in a yearbook, they have it hanging up in their base on the fridge.

Up until his eighth birthday he sent Garmadon an invitation to his party just in case his dad actually wanted to come. It broke Koko's heart every time he didn't and Lloyd locked himself in his room.

Jay once said he looked like Link from Zelda. It stuck with him to the point he dressed up as him for Halloween. Everyone thought it was great.

His sense of humour is like 40% self-deprecating and 60% sarcasm, no one knows if he's serious most of the time because of it.

He's jokingly been called Kai and Nya's 'sibling' before because of how protective the two are of him, they don't mind and take it as a compliment. When Koko heard it for the first time she started crying and said she would love to have Kai and Nya as part of the family.

He has tons of mini cacti in his room, because he thinks their cute. They each have unique pots and names. He talks to them when he's lonely and thinks no one is listening.

He sometimes steals food from the team fridge and blames it on someone else (no one has actually caught him yet).

[aion-rsa]

Does Cyberpunk 2077’s PlayStation Store Removal Make it The Worst Launch Ever?

https://ift.tt/3h8eYRS

Late last night, Sony revealed via the PlayStation website that they have decided to honor refund requests for those who purchased Cyberpunk 2077 via the PlayStation Store. More importantly, they have decided to remove Cyberpunk 2077 from the PlayStation Store “until further notice.”

Cyberpunk 2077 developer CD Projekt Red was quick to respond to this decision with one of their “yellow background tweets of doom” that have come to define the year in Cyberpunk 2077 updates. In it, the team noted they were aware of Sony’s decision and are still working to improve the game and get it back on the PlayStation Store as soon as possible.

Important Update for @PlayStation Users pic.twitter.com/fCB4z74M3z

— Cyberpunk 2077 (@CyberpunkGame) December 18, 2020

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The word you want to use at times like this is “surprising.” Yet, nothing about this is surprising to anyone who has been following Cyberpunk 2077 since the game launched last week. Not only did Cyberpunk 2077‘s PS4 and Xbox One versions launch with a shocking amount of serious technical issues that surpassed even the most cynical expectations of the game’s performance, but CD Projekt Red previously encouraged players to pursue refunds for those versions of the game. At that time, though, no special refund policy had officially been implemented by Sony or Microsoft. Sony has obviously now done just that, while Microsoft just announced that they’re instituting an expanded refund policy for all Microsoft Store purchases of the game.

What we’re left with now are unanswered questions. While “When will Cyberpunk 2077 return to the PlayStation Store?” and “What happened to this game?” are near the top of that list, the one I keep coming back to most has to be “Is Cyberpunk 2077‘s debut the worst game launch ever?”

While the subject of anything being the “worst,” is inherently subjective, you can start having a productive conversation about Cyberpunk 2077‘s historical standing by taking a look at some of the other worst debuts in video game history while trying to be as objective as possible about how Cyberpunk 2077 compares.

For instance, there have been countless smaller games that launched either entirely broken or as barely disguised phishing attempts. Obviously, Cyberpunk 2077 isn’t quite at that level. There have also been games that were essentially doomed to fail for eternity due to a variety of bad decisions. The War Z‘s developers, for instance, starting banning players for criticizing their broken game full of empty promises. There’s also the strange case of the MMO ArcheAge which made it nearly impossible to access the game’s land ownership feature due to the fact that hackers had pretty bought all the land hours after the game launched. Cyberpunk 2077 has its problems, but at least there have been some PC players who have been able to get some kind of enjoyment out of it.

At the same time, Cyberpunk 2077 is clearly in worse shape than titles like World of Warcraft or GTA Online which just couldn’t support the number of people that tried to play them at launch. We’re far beyond a simple case of not anticipating demand.

No Man’s Sky is another game that’s being referenced quite a lot lately, but that comparison isn’t entirely accurate. No Man’s Sky was a much smaller game that ultimately fell victim to official and unofficial hype. It came from a largely unproven studio that really only made a name for itself during the game’s marketing period. It ultimately proved to be a lesson in expectation management rather than a technological nightmare that represented some of the worst elements of Triple-A gaming.

By comparison, Cyberpunk 2077 is a high-profile game from a respected developer that launched with a variety of technical problems and design shortcomings that resulted in drastic measures being taken in an attempt to salvage whatever hope the game has left. It’s when you compare the game to the other titles in that category that you start to appreciate its qualifications for the dubious title of “worst launch ever.”

While I’ve heard Cyberpunk 2077 be compared to two of its more immediate and recent peers (Anthem and Fallout 76), it’s important to remember that the hype for those games was muted somewhat by loud cries from those who felt that those developers and franchises shouldn’t go in those directions in the first place. The hype for Cyberpunk 2077 was rarely muted despite attempts to point out some of the red flags that had emerged.

Cyberpunk 2077 certainly shares disappointment DNA with Batman: Arkham Knight. They are, after all, two high-profile seemingly “can’t miss” games from established developers that launched on certain platforms in a nearly unplayable state and were eventually pulled from storefronts. At least that game’s problems were limited to PC, though, whereas even Cyberpunk 2077‘s ideal platforms suffer from notable issues.

What about Diablo 3 and Halo: The Master Chief Collection? Again, they were both seemingly can’t miss titles from major studios that launched with a variety of controversial design decisions and technical issues. In both cases, though, I feel like the heated discussions around both of those games would have been cooled somewhat if their online services had been more reliable.

When I really look at it, Cyberpunk 2077 reminds me more of games like Too Human, Daikatana, and Assassin’s Creed: Unity. All of those single-player focused titles were hyped to death, developed by notable names, attracted quite a bit of controversy, and launched in nearly unplayable states. Cyberpunk 2077 even shares some design concepts with Daikatana, and Assassin’s Creed: Unity forced Ubisoft to embrace desperate measures by giving away free games in an attempt to calm everyone down.

Yet, when you get right down to it, there are factors that separate Cyberpunk 2077 from its peers.

Read more

Games

How the Cyberpunk 2077 Soundtrack Found Its Dystopian Sound in a Soviet-Era Synthesizer

By Bernard Boo

Games

Cyberpunk 2077: Every Ending Explained

By Matthew Byrd

We’ve already talked about Cyberpunk 2077‘s controversial road to release, but it’s very much worth reminding everyone that CD Projekt Red’s reputation was already being chipped away at by those who had legitimate concerns about the company’s culture. While that reputation was defended by the studio’s passionate fanbase, even some of those supporters are starting to question whether CD Projekt Red’s customer-friendly image is a crumbling facade.

There’s also the issue of the game’s development. CD Projekt has delayed Cyberpunk 2077‘s release three times in 2020 as part of their attempt to optimize the game. After one of those delays, it was revealed that the company had instituted a “crunch” schedule. So not only is Cyberpunk 2077 a bug-ridden nightmare, but it’s a bug-ridden nightmare that’s long development cycle must now be measured in financial and human costs along with the concerns regarding inherent problems with the game’s direction.

Do you know what really separates Cyberpunk 2077 from its fellow disappointments, though? It’s the fact that the versions of the game that perform the worst are the ones that really needed to work the most.

While it seems that many (or even most) of the Cyberpunk 2077 pre-orders came from PC players, all reports indicate that the game was set to be a hit among console gamers as well. Some early projections suggested that the game could eventually sell over 30 million units, and CD Projekt Red had previously indicated that Cyberpunk 2077 recouped its budget shortly after the game’s launch. It was clear that a wide variety of gamers were looking forward to this game as a way to end what has been a truly miserable year on something of a high note.

Instead, CD Projekt Red turned in frankly embarrassing ports at a time when many console gamers are unable to find the next-gen consoles which can at least run the game somewhat respectfully. As an added twist, Cyberpunk 2077‘s PS4 version was so bad that it now prevents PS5 gamers from being able to download it digitally. It’s important to also remember that Cyberpunk 2077 began its life as a PS4/Xbox One game. That only furthered the assumption that the game would at least run respectfully on those platforms even if the next-gen and PC versions would obviously be the “optimal” ways to experience it.

In a year that saw many studios make hard decisions and further delay their projects in order to best serve the people making them and the people who would eventually play them, CD Projekt Red pulled off the bad development trifecta with delay frustrations, crunch scheduling, and an ultimately broken game most readily available on platforms utterly incapable of handling it. Suddenly, that massive Halo Infinite delay makes a lot more sense, doesn’t it?

Worst launch ever? At this point, it’s all semantics. What matters is that Cyberpunk 2077‘s removal from the PlayStation store puts it in rare company at a time when CD Projekt Red had every opportunity and every advantage needed to prevent exactly this kind of scenario from ever happening.

The post Does Cyberpunk 2077’s PlayStation Store Removal Make it The Worst Launch Ever? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3awDLgS

[scifigeneration]

Interview: Jason Hardcastle, creator of the Cerberus Rex audio series on sci-fi.com

by Daryle Lockhart

“Cerberus Rex” carries on that great tradition of sci-fi audio shows that many of us started our love of the genre with. 

In this story, Dr. Anabela Correia, a professor of astrophysics at Hawksmoor University, travels upon request by a former colleague to Well Station, a research facility performing experiments on a strange phenomenon in an underground cave. 

Ana rushes to view the odd marvel first-hand and, accompanied by Well Station Security/Containment Officer Benjamin Wyngarde, is soon staring down at a mystery of physics hidden deep.

Then... not so deep.

The show is going to run exclusively on sci-fi.com, and it’s just the beginning of what could be a long-running series of stories. We enjoyed the idea of the show so much we sat down with its creator, Jason Hardcastle, who also publishes sci-fi.com, to talk about it.

Sci Fi Generation: Why did you start publishing science fiction online?

Jason Hardcastle: No one was interested in my CASABLANCA: RESURGENCE script.

SFG:  What about science fiction do you enjoy most?

Jason: This isn’t news but science fiction fans growing up in the 80s and 90s had a very different experience than exists now. There were not big accessible communities and for a lot of people, there was nowhere to rank the Image Comics creators or pick apart the SeaQuest premiere. So you had a real connection with the story itself. It was you and that piece of science fiction. Even though the nature of that connection has changed over time, it’s still there and that’s what I enjoy most. If that all sounds hokey, I change my answer to space business and robots and stuff.

SFG:  What are some of your favorites?

Jason: I picked three of the many that influenced Cerberus Rex.

Aliens. I saw it in the theater when I was 8. It was one of those parental mistake movies but it was a different time then so we stayed and I have been obsessed with it since. Anytime anyone wants to talk any aspect of Aliens (how to split the difference between the cuts, tea time at Pinewood, Remar as Hicks, anything), I’m in. Side note: the lines I sent out for the audition for the Brant character in Cerberus Rex were bits of Apone’s dialogue in Aliens. I wanted someone with that big natural authority.

Hyperion. The story lesson I took from Hyperion and tried to apply to Cerberus Rex was: keep as many bases covered at once as possible. Hyperion hits so many notes simultaneously. The stories and prose are great and the characters are dynamic but if you need something more visceral, here comes a giant metal monster that is covered in spikes and loves hugs.

The Thing. The Thing achieves perfectly what it is going for—it’s a perfect paranoid sci-fi horror story. And Childs is totally the Thing. Its set-up approach (the distilled elements of its first act) influenced our story structure quite a bit.

SFG:  What's your favorite sci-fi story of all time on any platform?

Jason: It depends on how wide a net you cast. If you include fantasy, the Lord of the Rings edition illustrated by Alan Lee. If not, The Empire Strikes Back.

SFG:  Tell us the background of the Cerberus Rex story.

Jason: It started with the science fiction concept at the heart of the story (which I am cagey about on purpose; go in not knowing, it’s more fun) and the character themes (character-wise, the story is about the changing concept of heroism). Structure-wise, I like linear stories so each main story element leads right to the next. Then, like every science fiction story these days, there are quotes from the old show WKRP in Cincinnati layered in.

The whole thing was designed from the start as an audio production and takes full advantage of that one-on-one (listener and story) dynamic. And the music was a ton of fun—we have a full score by film and media composer Benjamin Goldman that is theme-based and tracks and supports the story. When the action rises, falls or moves sideways, so does Ben’s score. I asked him to take inspiration from the likes of Williams/Silvestri/Kamen/Giacchino and he nailed it.

SFG:  Is this the beginning of a series?  What's next?

Jason: It is. Now having a handle on the different phases of production and an efficient process in place, work on the next show will be better and faster. One difference between this first show and the next is that the next will be an order of magnitude weirder.

SFG: What kind of fan do you think will most enjoy this story?

Jason: This thing is designed to grab you and take you on a science fiction adventure.

It’s immersive. The performances are terrific. An original score influenced by classic Hollywood adventure soundtracks. Full slate of sound effects. Professional sound mixing. Character-based. Thinking heroes. Slower build. Action set pieces. An hour and a half long. A contained science fiction story. Here is the synopsis: “Dr. Anabela Correia, a professor of astrophysics at Hawksmoor University, travels upon request by a former colleague to Well Station, a research facility performing experiments on a strange phenomenon in an underground cave. A natural explorer, Ana rushes to view the odd marvel first-hand and, accompanied by Well Station Security/Containment Officer Benjamin Wyngarde, is soon staring down at a mystery of physics hidden deep. Then... not so deep.”

If any of that sounds good, give the show one minute. You can go to the free stream of the show on sci-fi.com or search your podcast app for “Cerberus Rex: An Audio Adventure” (that’s the episode title; the name of the podcast itself is Sci-Fi Presents).

SFG:  What are your plans for sci-fi.com?

Jason: Another audio show is next. After that, the plan is to produce additional media and stories but also curate original independent science fiction content rather than produce everything in-house.

SFG: How can your new fans stay in touch?

Jason: New sci-fi.com show announcements will be made on the site’s twitter account @SCIDASHFI and our next audio show will be released on the site and on our podcast Sci-Fi Presents. And drop a line anytime via our contact form at sci-fi.com/contact.

[pixiekptt863-blog]

Full Game GTA IV is mega

I was raised in the era as Grand Theft Auto was mostly contraband. In 2003, my close friend also I pitched in to buy a reproduction of Junior Area also assigned it amongst one another, out of the eyesight your parents, whom underwent every been driven in a fearful frenzy in posts with USA Now about the game’s prostitution and chaotic propensities. Grand Theft Auto wasn’t just a game to us yet was there a chief component of your youth, the kind of all-caps MATURE point we encountered as an play of revolution approximately a cool doodad to outdo the time.

GTA IV came at a different moment. I wasn’t still playing games at that point anymore, having forgot the consoles when I attended institution with 2007 in an effort to focus on our studies and become a world-renowned author™. Still, I even got myself drawn to IV, not because it remained the next-gen variety of Grand Theft Auto, but because a lot of this game talk with a thematic evolution i became thinking about. Head-down with books like The Great Gatsby along with The Howl Of Destiny 49, Grand Theft Auto IV’s somber take on finding yourself lost in the bleak tunnels on the American Dream as a bad person while the plush get stupider, crueler, and richer talk to me. I finished countless hours on the friend’s Xbox 360 to complete the game, eagerly playing through the sad account of Niko Bellic.

You’ve probably read a hundred hot holds in GTA IV and The National Dream. You can turn now for my side of this if you want, but I must focus on anything unique for this part. IV excels when it comes to building something happens exceptional for open-world up for: a thematically unified event that control when it comes to telling a story while also respecting the person is an independent inhabitant of that world rather than a passenger. The way to GTA IV resolve which is there to this highlights the heaviness.

Driving is (forgive us) a loaded word. There are obvious examples of heavy, when it comes to physical weight. Something – a carrier of stones, the anvil – is deep. There is and the thematic form in the term, of course; to say great is deep is to about it is weighing you lower emotionally, it’s depressing you. Grand Theft Auto IV has systems in place both at home moment-by-moment gameplay along with the plot that embraces both of the.

Since the narrative's emotional weight is attractive clear for anyone who’s played Grand Theft Auto 4, let’s mention the gameplay concepts, like physics. Grand Theft Auto 4’s physics are paradoxically unique in they display a https://gtadownload.org surprisingly eloquent take on awkwardness. Everything feels like they have a defined pounds in GTA IV that gets this down. Niko walks without elegance, always a victim of her own lack of balance. Sometimes someone can brush past him or a car will gently touch him, then torture fall over awkwardly. Cars become a extension of that. Even the sooner convertible vehicles turn much more slowly than they would in a racer or another Grand Theft Auto game. To call up them tanks would be exaggerating, but they’re not nimble.

In Grand Theft Auto 4, gunfights feel similarly unique. Plenty of action games make use of destructible cover but there’s something about the seriousness on the globe which makes it feel well in a special way. Taking cover behind a car during a struggle with the police may lead to the vehicle slightly spring when rounds strike that, the goblet above you will break and fall you as bullets hole in. Melee combat is clumsy but visceral, with Niko's brutal pistol beat involving a enemy coming round the turn creating a combination of pressure with wonder. The prolonged delivery of the transfer and also the enemy's stagger backward keeps the opening for you to kill them away from, and it is surprisingly and uncomfortably intimate.

People rightfully realized that the ragdoll animations and even measure of the gunfight action substituted for Grand Theft Auto V, with enemies sticking out all over and their bodies reacting in new of your “lower down” sort of approach than IV’s mixture of prolonged and falling animations. IV’s kills are shifting because of the understanding that V trades away for its scope and variety meetings. Where V is consistently putting you into the kind of action sequences you’d view into Run with Vision Impossible, IV’s gunfights often occur within squalor. The immediacy of nailing a drug dealer’s eyeball round the turn in the ratty slum’s hallway with a blind fire from the pistol and look at their brain drive back touching the side is much more frightening (also appealing) than V’s approach.

The divergence between the two sorts of assault makes sense if you think about the composition they're aping. V is the termination of Rockstar’s love affair with the pictures of Michael Mann (Thief, Heat). The action is breezy and fulfilling, with the screen briefly fly to enable you know if you kill somebody.

Notice the elements here. There’s a lot of remaining on the injuries, blood splattering on the window, the element from the vehicle slowly step before to deviate with the parked one, the topics. There is no zipping present with scores. This sort of storytelling places emphasis not on frantic action but instead about the thought that it violence is produce the emotional with pure effect on the world. Cars move. Glass shatters. People moan in agony.

Grand Theft Auto V take these air, like grass collapse and mortality moans, but they're minimized due to the high production surveys plus the waves of enemies that come after you while Tangerine Dream’s beautiful score show in the family. It shape a fence among a person with the violence. Yes, it is entertainment. Don’t worry, you’re just engaging in a cassette game of which stays mimicking that case blockbuster you understand past summer.

IV has very little in the way of such artificial barriers. There is no soundtrack to camouflage the cries in the guy you just appeared while he ask someone nearby to see their girl he care for her. The violence is shifting and often cruel, helping turn Niko Bellic in a complex character, an individual with fine class that however commits heinous steps that will result in fall and go through upon countless people.

Niko’s emotional damages and suffering from a crazy, adolescent betrayal have left him incapable of understanding the world when everything apart from a mercenary for hire – someone capable of spin off of their experiences to harm people for notes. The technique in GTA IV, particularly when it comes to physics and activities in combat, stress that just as much because history does. Every bill of assault is mired in the throes of creative realism, with personality models fall again, while the world erupts close to people in a slow but tell respect which reason the theatre of Niko's story.

Of course, a lot of these variations probably be beyond the world of creative intent. GTA 4 was Rockstar's first real attempt to grip with the RAGE engine on the massive amount, so the awkward physics and clunkiness of beat is very likely a result of that than any intention. However, at the end with the period, you have the part of art and intent only concern to some point. It doesn't matter if Grand Theft Auto 4's physics are accidentally compelling or a mistake, they're still fascinating and immersive storytelling props.

Storytelling in activity is unfortunately often seen in terms of traditional story. "The design then the makeup become clear." However, I think this worth paying attention to the elements away from that. Just like the actor creates a person on the script alive regarding a flick, the specialist matter that you could not value with opening view (like how physics weigh on a appeal and identify the tether to the earth) is often key in making that lie what it is in the first home. The worst thing that could ever happen to GTA 4, outside of being removed from gap with age, is a remaster that enhance the gunplay then makes up the qualities animations more attractive. To do that would puncture Rockstar's disturbing yet compelling portrayal in the National Dream.

Yes, GTA 5 is a substantial practical and artistic achievement that dwarfs IV in terms of articles with satisfying activities to do. Next Vice Urban and III were both incredible sports to made much to alter the way. However, IV remains an important GTA to me since it’s a high-budget game produced by the most successful developers to goes all-in by developing a great knowledge on wandering, sympathetic souls doing bad things also getting hard alternatives to survive a dingy, despairing world.

IV is not without their catches. The produce is problematic in some places, particularly some homophobic and misogynistic sections that touch juvenile rather than provocative, and Oh My Spirit I Ignored How Severe The Checkpoint Scheme Is. But, IV's ambitions and performances upon those goals, are still unmatched by nearly any other game away there near my own measure. Epic in range and bitter but humanistic, IV lives beyond these topics as a new classic in a way that the other GTAs just don't.