#I could do so much now if I still had that passion
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̗̗̀̀➛ BUSY
warnings: just pure angst
wc: 1,800~
SYNOPSIS: she’s always working. and your drifting apart because of it.
an: idk about this one guys
She was always working. Couldn’t last an hour without writing something down on her notes app, or fucking relax for a day. you quickly got tired of it after a few weeks into your relationship.
She was always out. couldn’t stay still or stay at home. whenever you did agree to go out, the only thing you could think of was all the cameras you knew were on you.
You loved billie. you loved her to death. she was the love of your life. but she’s never around. and on the rare occasions that she wasn’t working, she would be too tired to do something fun with you.
You were desperate all the time. practically begging for her attention. you felt like a stranger in your own skin. having to sleep in an empty bed nearly all the time, even when billie does sleep with you, you still feel uncomfortable in her arms. because you weren’t used to having her near you. not used to having someone hug you from behind. not used to being so warm and safe.
You knew you were falling apart. you knew months ago—you’ve been knowing. but you still chose to ignore it. the way she’d slowly forget about some things you said when her usual arm around the shoulder turned into nothing. the usual giggles when she did something stupid slowly turning into sighs.
It was depressing—not saying anything—refusing to even believe it yourself was depressing. that you were drifting apart. that she wasn’t your billie anymore. she was her job.
You loved her passion. you loved when she rambled about her music and how she creates. but whenever she’d mention a tour your entire brain turns into mush. you know you should be happy for her—proud—but you couldn’t. going on tour means that you couldn’t even have her. couldn’t hug her or lay your head on her lap.
The tour ruined you even more. as if you weren’t already on the edge. You used to call every day, her voice that kept you from spiraling too far. You used to sleep on call, her soft breathing on the other end a lullaby that made the distance feel less suffocating. But now, but now—there was only silence. She didn’t call first anymore. Didn’t check in. Your phone stayed painfully still, the void between you stretching wider with every passing hour.
When you did call, it rang too many times. Sometimes she answered, distracted, her voice tinged with exhaustion. Other times, she didn’t. Excuses piled up—interviews, rehearsals, travel—but they felt hollow. Like maybe you weren’t worth the effort anymore. Like maybe the space she filled in your life didn’t exist in hers.
You tried telling her about your concerns, you tried. a million times you tried. but they never work. so you thought that maybe when she comes back from tour you’d try again. to tell her. so she can fix it. She always fixed everything.
She came back from tour exhausted. She was free for a whole two months. even though she wasn’t totally free, she still had to work and prepare but you were still ecstatic, and billie couldn’t be happier to see you.
“Baby!” Billie gasped, her arms sweeping down to catch you as you practically launched yourself into her embrace. Your feet barely touched the ground as she lifted you, holding you close, too close, like she was afraid to let you go. Still in your pajamas, with mismatched slippers, you looked ridiculous, ridiculous on camera. But you couldn’t care less. All that mattered was her, the warmth of her body, the scent of her hoodie, the soft thrum of her heartbeat that grounded you.
“Billie,” you mumbled into her neck, your voice muffled against the fabric, but she felt so real, so solid in your arms, you almost forgot how much you’d missed her. She hummed softly, she hummed and you could feel the vibrations through her warm chest.
“I missed you so much,” she whispered, her words catching in your hair as she pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head. Her hands slid down your back, steadying you as your legs dangled. Her arms tightened around you, pulling you even closer, and you felt that familiar tug in your chest like you could lose her if you weren’t careful.
You nodded against her shoulder, fingers clutching at the back of her hoodie, desperate to keep her there, like if you let go for even a second, she might slip away. “I hate it when you’re gone,” you admitted, the words feeling heavy as they slipped out. You didn’t want to be this vulnerable, but it was too late.
“I know, angel,” she murmured, her voice soft, but firm, like a promise. She cupped your cheek, tilting your face up to meet her gaze. Her blue eyes sparkled in the harsh airport light, but there was something else there too, something that looked like guilt—or maybe it was relief. You weren’t sure anymore. “I’m here now. You’ve got me.”
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to spill over, but before you could speak, Billie leaned in. Her lips brushed over yours in a kiss so gentle, so tender, it almost made your chest ache. Time seemed to slow, the noise of the airport fading away, until it was just you and her in your own little world. When she pulled back, she smiled, brushing a thumb over your cheek.
“And by the way,” she teased, her voice lighter now, but you could still hear the exhaustion in it, “nice pajamas. Truly a statement.”
The bus door closed behind you, the hum of the city fading as the world outside was left behind. Billie dropped her bag on the seat with a soft sigh, her shoulders slumping slightly as she slid into the booth. The energy between you felt different now, quieter. You had tried to keep the lighthearted mood going, but the silence between you two was thick, almost palpable.
You sat down across from her, legs curled up beneath you, waiting for her to say something, anything. She glanced up briefly, offering you a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, before looking back down at her phone.
“I’m just really tired,” Billie murmured, the words barely above a whisper as she tapped on the screen, distracted. “I’ve had a long day.”
You nodded, unsure of what else to say. The warmth that had been between you earlier felt like it had slipped through your fingers, leaving you in the cold space that now seemed to stretch between you. She didn’t look up again, her attention solely focused on her phone, her fingers swiping with mechanical precision.
“Yeah, I get it,” you said softly, glancing at her, but she didn’t seem to notice.
Billie let out a soft sigh, the kind that spoke volumes without a word. She finally looked up at you, her eyes softer now, but her voice still distant. “I’ll be better tomorrow. Just… tired, y’know?”
You nodded again, a faint ache tugging at your chest. Her words were meant to reassure you, but the emptiness in her tone made it harder to believe.
The seconds stretched into minutes, and the space between you felt wider with each passing moment. Neither of you spoke, the quiet pressing in on you both as the bus moved down the road.
When the bus finally came to a stop outside the house, you felt like you were stuck in slow motion. You stepped out, your legs unsteady, but you couldn’t shake the weight in your chest. Everything around you was the same, but the air between you and Billie felt different—colder, heavier.
The door clicked shut behind you, and you lingered for a moment just inside the entryway, eyes on the floor.
Billie moved past you, her footsteps echoing softly through the quiet house as she dropped her bag by the door and hung her jacket on the hook. She didn’t even look at you.
You took a breath, trying to steady yourself, but your heart was already pounding, the words stuck at the back of your throat. You didn’t want to do this. Not now. Not like this. But you knew if you didn’t say something, you’d lose her completely.
You barely whispered her name. “Billie?”
She didn’t turn to you right away. “Hmm?” Her voice was soft, tired, distant. She didn’t sound like she was really listening.
You swallowed hard, your chest tightening. You could feel the pressure of four years, of everything you’d been through together, weighing down on you. It felt like you were standing on the edge of something, like if you took one wrong step, it would all fall apart.
“I—” you faltered, your voice trembling, but you forced the words out anyway. “I feel like… you’ve been so distant. I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s like you’re not here anymore.” You winced as you said it, like admitting it would make it all real.
Billie stopped what she was doing but didn’t turn around. The silence between you felt endless, like she was taking her time to decide how to handle it. You could feel your hands shaking at your sides, a deep ache in your chest that made it hard to breathe.
“I’m just tired, baby,” she said after a long pause, her voice quieter now, almost apologetic. “Tour, everything… it just gets to me sometimes. I didn’t mean to shut you out.”
You nodded, though it didn’t make you feel better. You wanted to believe her, you really did, but the distance between you felt too real to ignore. You took a shaky breath, barely able to meet her eyes. “I don’t know if I can keep pretending like everything’s fine when you’re like this.”
Billie’s shoulders stiffened slightly, but she didn’t turn around. Her hands were still on the counter, gripping the edge like she needed to steady herself. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, barely loud enough for you to hear. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just… sometimes it’s too much, you know?”
Your heart sank at her words, but you didn’t have the strength to push her further. Instead, you took a slow step toward her, voice small but desperate. “I just need to know that you still want this. Want me.”
There was another heavy silence, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to hear what she’d say next. You stood there, trying to keep yourself from shaking, barely able to breathe as you waited for her answer.
Finally, she turned toward you, her face soft but guarded. “Of course I do. I just need a little time, okay?”
You nodded, but it felt like a fragile promise.
taglist: @chrissv4mp, @billiesguitar, @ilovebillieeilish2000, @d14n4ol, @raspberrymacaroon if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my taglist post, which is on my masterlist.
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#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish angst#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish fic#billie eilish oneshot
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hii! could you please do a klaus x stefan x reader smut.
(klaus and reader are in a relationship.) klaus dares her to suck stefan off whilst sat on his lap. Klaus feels her getting wet as she sucks stefan off and says something like “that’s it love, cover my fingers in your cum”
could you also please include degrading pet names and klaus getting possessive like “does he taste as good as I do love?”
then he fucks reader out of jealousy/possessiveness and makes her and stefan hold eye contact.
I totally understand if you’re not comfortable doing this!! thank youu 🤍
Indulgences
I had been with Klaus for a couple of years now. He made me feel safe despite knowing how dangerous he was.
Klaus had his ups and downs of course but who didn't? I still loved him.
Even when he proposed ideas of threesomes sometimes and I'd have to watch as he made love to another woman, although he always insisted it wasn't love making and it never meant anything.
I didn't always like having to share him but it made him happy so I did.
Sometimes I could tell right away when he saw a woman that he'd want us to be with later. He always made sure to pay me attention too during the sessions but it wasn't the same as when it was just us.
Sometimes I would pull away and he'd send the other girl home. He would pull me back to him and kiss my face.
"I'm sorry sweetheart." Klaus would whisper, his fingers in my hair. "It wasn't a good time and I should have recognised that." He would murmur. "I'll make it up to you, my love."
And he always would.
That was his only fault really, that he indulged a little too much. But it could have been a lot worse.
When we got to Mystic Falls I got to stay in my own hotel whilst he did his supernatural business but he made sure to come over in the evenings to have dinner with me and spend some time.
It was hard when he turned into a wolf for a couple days, we hadn't really been apart since we'd gotten together but when he messaged me to come over to an address I knew something was happening.
When I got there I could already tell something was different about him as he wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me in for a kiss. His eyes were gold when I looked up at them before they faded back to blue. Just after that the sound of heaving pulled my attention to the man on the floor, face dripping with blood.
Klaus pet my back as he kissed my ear. "Stefan's coming with us to find our wolves." He murmured and I nodded.
"Okay." I whispered and nodded and he smiled.
"We'll buy you some new clothes on the way, do you want to go get in the car?" He asked but it was demand disguised.
"Should I sit in the back?" I asked but he shook his head.
"No love, you stay beside me; always." He murmured and kissed my lips firmly before guiding me to the door.
Throughout the trip I was nice to Stefan and in return he was nice to me. Sometimes I would think that if I ever got to choose who we had a threesome with that it would be Stefan.
He was kind of like Klaus; sometimes he looked scary but he had a gentleness to him and he felt safe too. I wondered if he was like Klaus in bed too, if he needed to have threesomes with his girl.
Sometimes I thought about him when Klaus slid between my legs on top of the hotel bed. I wondered if Stefan could hear us through the walls. I wondered what he thought.
I'd look over at him when we were just standing around, waiting for Klaus to come out and sent Stefan in. Stefan would look back at me, smile a little and sometimes if we were stood close enough his hand would touch mine before Klaus could see.
But I didn't not love Klaus. I definitely did.
And I enjoyed being with him, feeling him hold me and touch me. He would ask me what was wrong and he would wake up early to get me some breakfast. Every now and then he would ask if he could drink from me which was something we only really did during passionate sex on special occasions but I think he could sense something off on the trip.
I must've been staring too long, Klaus picked up on it and he had dragged me up the hotel stairs.
"Do you like him, love? You like how Stefan looks?" He sneered, hands gripping my arms as he held me against the wall. "You want to feel him, don't you? Taste him, fuck him." He growled and I looked down, feeling guilty.
His breathing was heavy as a silence hung over us. I sniffed a bit and he sighed, his hold loosening before he caressed my arms and pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm sorry." I whimpered and he nuzzled my hair.
"I can't be angry with you sweetheart. You're perfect for me and you've done this for me so many times." He murmured.
"Done what?" I whispered and he cupped my face, tilting my head up to look at him.
"Indulged." He muttered, eyes dark as he kissed my lips. "I have no doubt Stefan won't be interested sweetheart, I know he looks at you too. I just wasn't sure it was mutual."
"We don't have to." I mumbled and shook my head. "I don't even want to, I don't like sharing." I pulled away and he guided me back to him.
"You don't have to do any sharing this time, my love. I'll learn to share this time." He told me with a kiss to the side of my head and as much as the idea had an appeal, I didn't really want anybody like I wanted Klaus.
"I only like you inside me." I whispered, remembering the only other time we had been with a man instead of a woman and he had had me whilst Klaus watched. It didn't feel right, not like Klaus did.
"Then you can just do as much as you'd like. Maybe you just want a touch or a tase? Allow me to give you this sweetheart. I want this for you." Klaus convinced and I considered it.
We didn't talk about it again, but I'd wondered if Klaus mentioned it to Stefan. The vampire had been eyeing me much more, his touch lingering whenever he got the chance and it was making my body crazy.
When we got to Chicago and Klaus woke up his sister Rebekah, I felt jealous. She and Stefan looked at each other with nothing but desire. I didn't want to share.
So once we got to the hotel and Rebekah went into her room, I went into Stefan's.
He was already grinning when I stepped inside and his hands gripped my waist. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep ignoring me." He whispered, his forehead against mine.
I was down on the hotel bed in a second and everything felt right, except for one thing. "Klaus." I whined, my body sitting up but Stefan pushed me back down.
"He's on his way." He murmured and kissed my lips, It felt so good. I had to wonder if it felt that good when Klaus got to do that with other girls.
For a brief second, I forgot about Klaus and just focused on Stefan. The coldness of his hands, the taste of his tongue.
But Klaus made sure I wouldn't truly forget him.
I was lifted away from Stefan after a few moments and Klaus's warmth swallowed me.
"Tsk, my love." He scolded but his eyes and tone held no malice as he kissed my cheek. "Shouldn't be starting without me."
"I'm sorry." I mumbled but I wasn't, he had started without me before.
The buttons were picked undone one by one until my body was bare in Klaus's lap. "Look at Stefan, sweetheart." He murmured, his hand turning my head so I was looking at Stefan's naked body. He was leant back against the headboard and pillows, body on display and knowing smile on his face. My eyes drifted down to his cock, hard and waiting for me like Klaus's always was. "Good girl, go ahead." Klaus whispered, hands smoothing my body.
I could feel the nerves building as I crawled forward, Stefan's hands were immediately in my hair and guiding me down. I kissed softly from his base to the tip, listening to his breathing hitch and feeling Klaus grip my hips with tension.
He felt different against my tongue, I traced along the most prominent veins and up to the head, tucking lightly and listening to him groan.
"Mmm, just like that-" Stefan groaned and Klaus chuckled.
"Hear that, love? Stefan loves what a good cocksucker you are." He breathed into my ear and I whimpered with my lips still stretched around Stefan.
My head was pushed and pulled up and down, my throat relaxing to feel every inch of his shaft pump between the muscle. My eyes were half closed, Stefan's groaning face above me now blur.
My mind was a haze as my tongue rubbed at his skin swallowed every hint of a taste of his impending release.
Just as I sucked off the few beads of pre cum form his tip, two fingers slid through my folds making my body arch on instinct.
I went to lift my head, to look but a firm palm pushed me down. "Don't you dare." Klaus's voice growled from behind me. "We both know you want to feel him cum down that pretty throat of yours so keep going." He ordered as fingers pushed inside my cunt making me whimper and squirm in his lap.
I swallowed around Stefan's cock again, trying to reduce the amount I was salivating around him.
Klaus's fingers curled inside me, stroking me from the inside and making me clench around him.
Stefan's hands stroked me head, urging me to keep going.
Everything was so overwhelming, my body was already full of need just from the thought of any of this happening let alone it actually occurring.
They both felt so good, I could taste Stefan ready to cum and feel my cunt in a similar state.
Klaus could feel it too.
"Already about to cum on my fingers, love?" He purred, his lips behind my ear making shivers slip down my spine. "Go on, sweetheart. Show Stefan what a slutty pussy you have. Cum on my fingers." He commanded, his voice low and dark as both fingers moved withs supernatural speed.
My body rocked with his hand as Stefan's taste burst against my tongue and throat and his cry of relief broke through the tension of the air. I could feel myself shaking as I let go around Klaus's hand and swallowed Stefan's cum away, sucking the head for the last bit to come out.
My lips slipped off him, my cheek resting against his bare thigh as I panted and felt Klaus's fingers slowly circle my clit.
Klaus wrapped his arms around my midsection, pulling me back against his clothed chest. "That's my girl." He murmured, kissing my ear softly. "But that's enough. You're mine." He whispered, carrying me out of the hotel room, leaving Stefan a mess and bringing me up to the suite.
I was laid back down on my side, his body holding my down like usual. "I hated every second of that." He muttered, "Feeling how soaked you got from using that tongue on someone else." I whimpered in response and looked up at him as he shoved his belt off and tore the zipper straight off my jeans, letting his cock spring free.
I let out a cry when he pushed inside me in one fast thrust, a groan leaving him. "Klaus-" I gasped and he leant down to swallow my words. Our tongue tangled together before pulled away with a grunt and rocked his hips quickly.
"Tell me I taste better." He growled and I moaned.
"You do..." I whispered and he let out a puff of air.
"Say it."
"You taste better, better than Stefan- ah!" I cried out as he thrust particularly hard.
His hand was around my throat, keeping me down and at his mercy as his body moved in a frenzy against mine
I could feel his lack of control compared to usual, he was angry. It made him faster, his cockhead smacking into my spot repeatedly, so much so that It just felt as if he were rubbing right against it.
My pussy was weeping around him, wetting my thighs and the sheets below as I whimpered and moaned his name weakly.
His body collapsed into mine, his arms clinging to me tight as he nuzzled my throat and sucked a dark mark into the skin. His fangs pierced the skin but it didn't hurt much anymore.
We were rolled so I was on top of him, his cock still half hard and held between my walls.
"I love you." He murmured. "And I love all you do for me." In response I just tucked my head under his chin and let his hands guide my legs either side of his hips. "You're mine." He whispered and I smiled because I knew it.
#threes0me#stefan salvatore#stefan salvatore x reader#stefan salvatore smut#the originals#the vampire diaries#klaus mikaelson#klaus mikaelson x reader#klaus mikealson fanfiction#klaus mikaelson one shot#klaus mikaleson imagine#elijah mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#the vampire diares imagine#kol mikaelson#niklaus imagines#tvd klaus#niklaus mikaelson#klaus m#klaus mikaelson x y/n#klaus michaelson#tvd universe#hope mikaelson#klaus mikaelson headcanon#klaus mikaelson fluff#klaus mikaelson yandere#klaus mikealson smut#klaus mikaelson x yn#klaus mikealson x reader
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summary: in which sevika becomes your boss at The Last Drop
content: this fic is another multi-chapter work! i hope you enjoy.
content warning for this fic: depiction of sa (this chapter only), blood, slight gore/fight scenes, cursing, sexually explicit content. pretty heavy topics to be honest, it makes a lot of commentary on how it's like to live in Zaun. since this chapter has an sa scene (very lightly detailed scene but still hints to it), if you would like to skip that part, there will be three asterisks (***) that indicate when the scene begins and when it stops so that you can do what's safer for you. sa will not be talked about alot in depth for the rest of the chapters, and i will give a content warning to chapters that hint or reference it.
word count: 3k
thanks for reading!
Part One
When you are first hired at the Last Drop, it only takes 4 hours for Sevika’s name to circulate the building and make its way towards you.
The first time you spot her, she is brushing through a crowd of drunkards, seemingly not wanting to be approached with an expression as hard as stone. The tall woman, attractive and large as she may be, is intimidating. Her figure, although only in your line of vision for a few seconds, is something made of pure muscle and height. You know that she could easily tower over you if she wanted.
Despite her quick and fast entrance, it only takes your first day to realize that Sevika isn’t someone that you fuck around with. And based on the way that your coworkers and supervisors tense at the mere mention of her name, it’s obvious that she’s someone important here.
Throughout your first month at the Last Drop, any other appearances of Sevika is no different. Her steel cold stare could freeze anyone to death. You’ve seen her drag people upstairs only for them to never come back down (who knows what she or Silco did with the body?). You’ve seen the way she dominates the deadliest men–how she doesn't let them silence her.
How she challenges them…
You've also seen the way that your coworkers have gotten their heart broken, hoping to be the one-night-stand turned lover that changes Sevika’s promiscuous ways. And every time, your coworkers end up heartbroken. Gender doesn’t really seem to matter with Sevika. She’s ruthless with everyone. She’s mean.
And, God, you really hate how much you like mean women.
At first, you thought it was amusing to be pining after her. It isn’t surprising, since you've had your fair share of passionate romances (and heartbreaks) with people similar to Sevika. Like a moth drawn to a flame, you can’t seem to stay away from them.
But now it’s been over a month and you can't help but wonder when the crush will dissipate. At this point, it's entirely inconvenient.
You've managed to keep yourself out of the limelight for the majority of your time at the Drop. You’ve found your rhythm by staying in the kitchen, away from the wandering eyes of questionable strangers. Away from Sevika.
But that only lasts for so long.
Amy, your boss, manages to shatter your Switzerland bubble on a Thursday evening at noon. It’s exactly the last thing you want to hear: “I need you to swap schedules with Janessa,” Amy barks.
It isn’t a suggestion or question. It’s a demand.
Your mouth opens to object, already feeling that familiar pang of agitation within you. But Amy doesn’t hang around long enough to hear.
“Thanks!” She calls over her shoulder, briskly walking behind the counter and towards the kitchen.
Your teeth grind and your jaw clenches. With balling fists, you stand there for a few more minutes. Trying to simmer down. Trying not to get fired.
You cook. You make new recipes. You may even help the dishwashers every once in a while (especially on nights that are packed).
But you don’t buss and you don’t wait. That’s Janessa’s ballpark. She’s known as one of the best waiters in town. Her reputation followed her as she hopped in between different restaurants before landing at The Last Drop for good. She’s usually quick, efficient, polite but not too polite (no one ever could be considering the kind of people that this job attracts).
The idea of Janessa swapping places with you in order to cook an overwhelming amount of food under the pressure of constant verbal abuse? That doesn’t sound right.
Well, it doesn’t sound like something she would willingly do.
“I tried to help you out,” Max, your coworker, whispers. He clicks his tongue while washing down the countertop of the bar. You forgot that you were holding a conversation with him before Amy interrupted. “I overheard her talking to Nessa about it and offered the swap.” Max blinks through his thick lashes, which are covered with clumps of purple mascara, before he makes eye contact with you. “The bitch told me I wasn't qualified. Can you believe it?”
You snort underneath your breath, nearly choking at the idea of such a conversation happening.
Max—a petite curly-haired himbo with stunning hazel eyes and nails long enough to claw your heart out—most certainly isn't a popular bartender due to his skills. He has charisma, a charming personality and a smile that can make anyone stop in their tracks. He’s willing to listen to anyone that needs a shoulder to cry on (which is almost always every regular that comes here), and he doesn’t mind sucking up to Amy as long as it means that he has full control of the bar. He’s been employed here long before Amy’s time, which you truly believe is his saving grace.
He knows the history, the neighborhood— the business very well.
But mixing drinks? Not his strong suit.
Seeing him out on the level ground with numerous tables to handle would be comical. A train wreck for sure, but definitely comical.
“Did she say why Nessa was swapping?” Self consciously, you peer at the rest of the pub over your shoulder. Everyone is seemingly out of earshot but it doesn’t hurt to be sure.
Max’s shoulders tense. He stops his scrubbing, right hand still holding onto his soaked disinfecting cloth as he sends you a sidelong glance. “Not my place to tell.”
The hairs stand up on your arms as you register his reply.
The sound of the entrance door opening is what shatters your reverie. Just like that, Max’s shoulders relax. A smile spreads across his face, this time not quite reaching his eyes, as he looks towards the door. “Welcome to The Last Drop!” He says, voice dipping into that flirtatious cadence you know all too well.
That is all he is going to say on the matter. You know Max doesn’t like gossiping about people’s shit. And your coworkers definitely have a lot of messy situations throughout their employment here. He wants no relation to any of it.
You pick up on the hint, instead swallowing your curiosity and looking at the incoming customer. It’s one of the workers from the brothel across the street. She’s a leggy brunette with towering stilettos and a resting bitch face as cold as stone. She’s just as unapproachable as the last time you saw her. But there’s a spark in her eye when she regards Max. Based on her last few visits, you’ve grown to learn that she’s taking a liking to him.
“Well, that's my cue. I’ll leave you to…do your thing,” You mumble, fighting off a smirk. Max peers at you with a quizzical expression as you gesture vaguely to the bar around you. “Or whatever nonsense you do up here…”
“Hmph,” He rolls his eyes. “Shouldn't you be back there making shepherd's pie or something?”
“You mean working? Something you're not familiar with, I’m sure.”
“With a face card like this? I’m too fabulous to work.” He winks before gesturing towards his face. “A reality you're not familiar with, I’m sure.”
A laugh erupts out of you as you click your tongue. You’re walking towards the kitchen, ready to clock out for the day and finally rest, when you hear the lady of the night approach the bar. You believe her name to be Scarlett, and her voice is a low and silky murmur while she addresses Max.
When you glance over your shoulder, you can't help but notice the way her cleavage spills over her frilly corset top. Her braids are pulled into a bun on top of her head, eyes alluring as she peers at Max through thick long lashes.
Too caught up in all the glamor that Scarlett is, you walk right into a nearby wall (because that is unfortunately what happens whenever beautiful women are near you).
Max and Scarlett immediately glance at you. Max, with that all-knowing smirk, and Scarlett's raised eyebrow is enough to make you want to dig yourself a grave.
But you don't. Instead, you clear your throat, apologize and shuffle to the kitchen with haste.
The air is thick with cigarette smoke.
That’s one of the reasons why you hate waiting.
You don’t mind occasionally working in such an atmosphere. After all, you are one of the few chefs that regularly make an appearance everyday. So you’ve grown accustomed to walking through the boisterous crowds of smokers and drunken belligerents before and after your shifts.
But then, for the rest of the shit, you usually find solace in the kitchen—swallowed by plates and dishes and food and ingredients—which is more your forte.
“Hey pretty lady,” A bald, greasy buff man grumbles. His eyes are set on you yet simultaneously far away. Out of focus. “I’m getting hungry. Why don't you come over here and serve me?” Then he winks with a shit-eating grin that makes you queasy.
“You're not in my section,” You reply dryly with a shrug. “But I'll let Dylan know that you're ready to order.”
“I don't want Dylan,” His eyes linger on your chest, before trailing down your entire physique. It's almost as if he allows his entire train of thought to become visible for everyone to read.
Your teeth grind as you quickly scan the room once more. Dylan said that he was stepping out for a 5 minute smoke break 40 minutes ago.
There's a part of you that doesn't want to give in. You don't mind being the one coworker that won't take on more tables than absolutely necessary. Especially when you were voluntold to switch job roles with someone you barely even know, and without even being told why.
If it wasn't so hard to find a job lately, you're pretty sure Amy’s management within itself would be enough encouragement for you to quit. But you really, really need the money. Despite the toxic work environment and occasional harassment from drunk citizens, this is the closest you've come to financial stability in years. You can’t afford to fuck it up.
A heavy exhale leaves you as you shift your feet. “Have you had a chance to look over the menu?” You ask, eying the man with distaste.
His grin widens. “No. What do you suggest?”
“Well, we offer a lot of stuff really. If you're in the mood for something more fulfilling, we have different stew dumplings. I'm not sure about your allergies though, most of the stews here are made with—”
“Surprise me,” Then he gives you another once over.
There is a part of you, a small part, that's tempted to reach across the table and rip out his eyes. You hate the feeling you experience when men unabashedly undress you with their eyes; especially when it’s from creepy old men.
Even more so when said men don't know how to respect boundaries.
But you ignore the idea of doing such a thing. Instead, you turn on your heels and walk away.
Or, at least, you try to walk away.
***
A tight grip wraps around your wrist, pulling so abruptly that you nearly fall over. It happens so fast that you barely register it. A breath, hot and pungent with liquor, travels across the base of your neck before meeting your nose. “You didn't ask me if I wanted anything to drink.” The man adds, voice low and gravelly.
Then more is happening...
And that's what makes you snap.
Within seconds, you're reaching for your knife, which you had previously placed inside the pocket of your apron.
A fire courses through your veins as you retract the blade.
“What the fuck!” The man yells, letting go of your wrist. He presses a palm against his right cheek, which now has a wide gash that is gushing with blood.
***
You don't give him time to say anything else. Your elbow comes in contact with his throat, jabbing his windpipe with as much force as possible. He staggers from the impact, landing with his back on top of the table behind him as he gasps for air.
Your knife, now dripping with his blood, digs into his chest. You hold it there, watching him wince when you apply pressure.
“If you ever so much as breathe in my direction again,” You mutter darkly. He’s squirming uncomfortably, a pool of blood soaking through his shirt as your knife continues to pierce his chest.
The pub has grown eerily silent and the heavy weight of countless eyes begins to register.
“I…I-I,” The man underneath splutters in shock. Beads of sweat gather around his forehead as he peers up at you through a cloud of fear. Thirty minutes ago, you’d have been surprised to find him roughed up by someone half his size, especially considering how large his biceps are.
But then again, The Last Drop seems to be filling up with tons of useless goons nowadays.
“We’ll deal with him.” The voice that breaks your reverie is unrecognizable—feminine and raspy.
That's when your head snaps up and you realize just how tense the atmosphere has become. Many citizens watch you silently, some mouths ajar while others look ready to egg you on. It's never really a typical Friday night at this place without people trying to drunkenly fight each other.
It's rare, though, that employees become the main culprit.
Something moves closer to you—a person. “Hey, it's alright. I-”
Still on edge, you're quick to react. You inhale sharply, grip tightening around your knife with reflexes that feel like second nature.
A low growl fills the air, the sound of metal colliding with metal following soon after. Then your blade is being knocked out of your hand, something powerful grabbing both of your arms.
A flash of grey, the smell of cigarillo. Warmth. Undeniable warmth.
“Woah, it's just me." The voice is so close, yet so far away.
"Look-" Then... "Maxwell, I need you to come and help." The voice speaks again. This time even firmer. A woman’s voice.
When your vision adjusts, you lock gazes with a pair of stormy grey irises. They're merely inches from yours, peering down at you with a gaze that is steady.
That's when you realize that you can't move because she's practically towering over you. Holding you.
It’s Sevika.
You must have tried to attack her, clearly caught off guard. Surely, you hadn't meant to. For a split second, you lost it and now here she comes, seemingly out of nowhere. It was merely a reflex—a fight or flight response.
“It's me. Sevika," She announces, voice sharp as if she's trying to to speak through a wall. "I'm having them take him upstairs. He’ll be dealt with,” She repeats, almost as if it's a promise. She searches your eyes, grip loosening around your arms, “I’ll make sure of it.” She adds. Despite her expression being made of steel, there's something that flickers in her eyes. It appears only for a millisecond but it's glaring enough to somehow recenter you.
Her shoulders appear to relax when you start to feel present in the room again.
She waits for you to reply. And waits.
And waits.
And waits some more.
Then, “I can handle myself,” Is all that you manage to say.
She stares at you for longer. You can see the gears in her brain shifting, but you aren't exactly sure of what to anticipate next, or even how to accept the fact that you just tried to attack your boss with a pocket knife.
“I’ve got her,” This time, the source is coming from someone familiar. Max. “It's okay,” He whispers, drawing closer. You feel him before you see him. The tips of his claw-like nails brush against your shoulders as he gingerly grabs a hold of you.
Only then is when Sevika breaks your gaze, this time turning to Max. “Staff lounge.” The brute woman orders.
“I’m fine.” You counter.
The edge in your voice says otherwise.
“...Then I need you to grab Amy,” She continues, completely disregarding you. “I would like to know why we have a chef waiting tables during the busiest rush of the week—”
“I don’t need to go anywhere,” You press, voice raising a few decibels.
Sevika jaw’s clenches, icy eyes flickering towards you. “You nearly decapitated someone. You—”
“...I have four hours left. I will leave when my shift is complete.”
Her nose flares. “Lounge. Now.”
Before you can reply, she’s turning on her heels and walking away.
Unfortunately, Max agrees with Sevika.
It’s apparent in the way he immediately grabs your shoulders after her departure. Every citizen seems to be watching the entire escapade because this is the quietest you’ve ever heard the pub be during a rush hour.
“I’m fine!” You hiss, frustrated by the whole ordeal. You are perfectly capable of defending yourself. You don't need staff members to coddle you. “Seriously.”
Max doesn’t reply, merely huffing underneath his breath as he guides you past the bar and towards a back hallway that leads to another room.
When the two of you have reached the lounge, he finally says, “You're shaking.”
Your eyebrows furrow. “What?”
He leans forward, grabbing both of your hands,“ You're shaking.” He repeats, looking at you dead in the eyes. That's when he lets go and you peer down at your palms.
A frown spreads across your lips at the sight of your trembling fingers.
“You nearly killed the guy,” Max continues. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”
“It was only self-defense.”
“I'm not saying you were in the wrong,” A flicker of worry meets Max’s eyes. “That asshole deserves everything you did to him, probably more, But,” He winces. His gaze trails off to a distant place behind you. “Chef’s don’t usually do what you just did.”
Before you can reply to Max, the door flings open. In walks the petite redhead that you instantly knew to be Amy. She’s light on her feet, eyes alert and face flushed. At first, you’re surprised to see her in such a state.
Shortly, though, Sevika enters the room. Then it all makes sense.
Sevika’s domineering in all aspects and has a ferocious air about her that can make anyone feel...tense.
You thought she was the last of it, but another pair of footsteps walk-in behind her.
“S-Sorry,” The person stammers, side stepping so they can scurry around Sevika and find a chair to sit in. The person is Dylan.
“This won't take long,” Sevika announces. She seems annoyed, not even looking at anyone else in the room. “Starting tomorrow, nothing about tonight will be brought up again. Now, Amy.” She turns to Amy, who instantly shrinks in her chair. “Why wasn't Janessa on the floor tonight?”
There's a beat of hesitation before, “She's working the kitchen now.”
Sevika’s nose flares. “If you moved her because of last week, I want you to think over your explanation very carefully.”
Another beat drags. Amy blinks. She gapes. She blinks once more. Her cheeks are tomato red at this point. “I-”
Sevika presses on. “Did Silco somehow change his mind?”
“...No.”
“So you deliberately went against Silco’s orders and switched Janessa to the kitchen. Meanwhile,” Sevika’s eyes flicker to you. Your stomach lurches. “You make our only competent chef work the floor, after I told you that she isn't up for debate. And you expect me to show you mercy?”
Amy doesn't answer. She's on the verge of tears, which shocks you.
Amy is a bitch.
She’s known for brutally reaming people for simply breathing wrong. She doesn’t hold back and she doesn’t mind doing it in front of customers either. You know her to be stone cold. Heartless. Void of compassion and depth.
You never thought that you’d see the day where she’d get her ass handed to her.
Sevika turns to you, face filled with hard lines and calculating orbs. She stares at you for a few moments. You don't quite understand if she’s sizing you up or mentally chastising you. But you wait for her to fully collect her thoughts.
“If anyone touches you like that again,” She slowly begins, voice low. “You do what needs to be done. Whatever that means to you. Do you understand?”
Your muscles freeze at her words.
No questioning? No reprimands?
“You aren't mad?” You clear your throat.
You were fully expected to get reamed for tonight.
Sevika raises an eyebrow, “Do you want me to be?”
Heat spreads across your body. You don't answer her question, deciding to move on. “Does Silco know about tonight?”
She grows more perplexed, “Do you want Silco to know?”
In the corner of your eye, you watch how stiff the rest of the staff members become. The room is so quiet that you nearly hear a pin drop.
It’s obvious that Silco finding out about this would cause a shit show.
Sevika takes your silence as an answer.
“None of this will be mentioned again after tonight.” She breaks eye contact and turns to the rest of the room. “Is that clear?”
Everyone nods.
“And Dylan?”
Dylan jumps at the sound of his name. “Huh? I mean, yes? Y-Yes, ma’am?”
“If you disappear for that long again, you won't have a job to come back to.”
“Yes, ma’am. I-I mean,” Dylan blinks with swimming eyes. “Sorry.”
Sevika chooses then to shove her human hand into her pocket, glancing at you once more. When she retracts it, you notice that there is something shiny and silver that she's holding.
Your knife.
Silently, she holds it towards you.
When your feet stay planted—brain struggling to process everything that's happening—she exhales heavily, evidently becoming impatient.
Clearing your throat, you force yourself to close the distance. You grab your knife, knuckles grazing her palm, which ignites a static shock. Your fingers jump away from her instantly. If the skin contact startled her, her face doesn’t give it away.
“Thank you,” Is all that you say. You hate how vulnerable you sound.
She merely nods. Then, “He's upstairs, by the way. Definitely suffering from what you did to him but not harmed any further." She pauses, rubbing her lips together. "Did you want to come upstairs? It's your call on how you would like him to be handled."
You eyes widen at the realization.
She took him upstairs to do god know what (everyone knows that if Sevika takes you upstairs for any other reason than discussing business, then you probably aren't coming back down). You'd never thought she would include employees in such a thing.
Even with a matter such as this.
"I'll give you ten minutes to think about it," She continues on. "If you decide to come upstairs, he'll be waiting. Otherwise, go home. Tomorrow you'll return to the kitchen.” Then she turns on her heels, adding, “Amy, I expect your desk to be cleaned out by midnight.” Before she walks away.
In the midst of her departure, your eyes begin to burn.
Max and Dylan are already stepping out of the room, completely shaken up by the entire situation.
Being reprimanded by Sevika is never on anyone’s bucket list.
You idle there for a while, letting all of the events replay in your mind as your muscles start to unspool. Fidgeting with your knife, you allow the blade to extend. That’s when you notice that his blood has been cleaned off and your blade sharpened.
Amy wails pathetically while curling into herself.
Her cries are nothing more than brown noise at this point. You're too preoccupied by the hammering of your heart, and the way that Sevika’s words have tattooed themselves onto your hippocampus:
If anyone touches you like that again, you do what needs to be done.
#piscespetals writing#fanfic#sevika x reader#arcane#i wrote this fic when I was dealing with some personal stuff regarding past sa's#i hope this is okay#i'm considering whether or not i should post this full fic#it's pretty vulnerable#my heart goes out to all survivors#zaun#original universe
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Make you feel good
Requested?: no
Warnings: smut, mdni, pussy eating, pet names (bunny, princess, my girl), fluff if you squint, oral f!receiving
It was the first few days of NNN, the month you passionately despised, you have always hated it since you have a high libido and.. Riki can't take care of you cus he always participate's with his members
Right now you were laying on your shared bed while Riki wasn't home, just.. turning and stretching.. sobbing and whimpering and the uncomfortable aching between your legs
Soon enough he got home from practice and as he was headed to the kitchen he heard a fit of whimpering and sobbing coming from your room. He grew concerned and worried
He quickly dropped his practice bag at the entrance, and walked over the room
He stood in front of the door to the room, hearing the soft sobbing and the stretching. He realized you were in bed alone in there
He hesitatantly put his hand on the doorknob, debating whether he should go in or not. He didn't know why you were crying and sobbing, he just saw the door, heard you and thought of the million possibilities of why. But he didn't spend long on thinking, instead opened the door and carefully peeked in
He peeked his head into the room and saw you in bed, with your back on him. He couldn't exactly see what you were doing, but he could hear your soft sobs and whimpers, while you were stretching, tossing and turning
He then slowly entered the room, quietly closing the door and trying not to be too loud. He didn't want to startle you, and had no idea why you were sobbing like that, but he didn't want to scare you
He carefully made his way towards the bed, standing at the end and looking on to where you were
Seeing you tossing and turning on the bed made him think even more in his head. He still had no idea what you were doing in there and why you were crying and whimpering
He stayed quiet and just watched in silence for a bit to see what you would do
He realized you were probably trying to.. pleasure yourself, and then realization then hit him as to why you were weeping. He stayed standing there, quiet and watching you in silence
He watched you move and stretch, watching the way you moved your body, the way you groaned and whimpered and then he felt even more tempted to say something, something to get your attention. Then he spoke, in a low voice, not too loud and not too soft
"Bun.."
You stoped moving.. a bit embarrassed as you turned your head to look at him, your tear stained scheeks and face looking up at him before turning back..
"Mm.. hm?"
He saw your body freeze for a second when you heard him speak
He got tired of just standing and watching so, he started to walk closer, slowly coming to the bedside where you were laying on
"What are you doing, bun?"
You gulped and couldn't help but whimper again as your body curled up into a small ball.. all sweaty and really needing of a release..
"It hurts so bad.."
He was surprised and confused by your words and at first couldn't figure out why it hurt so much. And then he realized what you were implying on
"What hurts, bun?"
"I can't touch myself and it's hurting and aching so much.."
He was a little surprised when you said that so bluntly. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing the reason why you were like that
He then sat down on the bed next to you when he reached it and reached his hand out and placed it on your back
"Are you really hurting?"
You nodded and he sighed softly when you hummed and confirmed his question. He felt bad and guilty, knowing the reason why you were like this and how much you're suffering in NNN
He started rubbing and patting your back with his big hand..
"You poor thing.."
You whimpered at his soft touch before staring to explain your needs and problems..
"My fingers don't help.. and.. i don't wanna ask you cus it's NNN.. and.. you prolly don't want to fail.. so I didn't want to tell you but it hurts so much.."
He hummed as he continued rubbing and patting your back. Still feeling guilty and bad for you. And hearing you say that you didn't want to ask him cus he had to do NNN, his heart dropped
He swallowed a lump in his throat knowing exactly what he was going to do. He couldn't let you deal with this pain, it was his fault anyways and he needed to fix it
"Turn around."
"m-mm?.."
He took back his hand and just looked at you. He repeated myself, in a deep voice
"Turn around, bunny. I said, turn over and face me."
You obeyed, and did just as he said, now laying on your back as you were looking into his eyes with that needy expression that said everything..
He watched you turn around to face him and he was surprised when he saw your face. He was taken a back at how distressed and needy you looked. You looked like a poor wounded bunny, looking so desperate, whining and mewling with pleading eyes
He knew then, he was done. He wasn't going to make you suffer anymore
His voice suddenly went soft when he saw your face like that. He couldn't take seeing you look like that anymore
He gently cupped your face in his hands and caressed your face with his thumbs
"You poor bunny.. you look so desperate. So much in pain... mm.. where is my hair tie?.. gonna make my bunny feel good, yeah?"
You looked up at him, your needy and pretty eyes fluttering as you bit your lip
"Mm.. r-really?.."
He smiled gently as he nodded at you and leaned down, and planted a kiss on your forehead
"Of course. I can't just let my baby bunny be in pain like this.. she deserves to feel good, yeah?... So where did I leave my hair tie.. ah!"
He finally spotted his black hair tie which he took out of his pocket earlier and forgot about
He picked up the hair tie and held it between his teeth as he moved his hands from your face and started collecting his hair from his face, bringing it all to the back of his head
"Gonna make my baby bunny feel so damn good.. so damn satisfied.. that she forgets about this little challenge she made me do.. mm..?"
He then grabbed the hair tie from his mouth and started tying his hair up into a man bun. He usually didn't wear his hair up like that, you knew how he liked his hair down, but this was an exception
Once he secured his hair in a bun, he looked down at you
"You good, bun?"
"mhm.."
He sat down next to you on the bed as he looked at your desperate face. He loved seeing you like this, so desperate to feel good
He reached out a hand and placed it on your stomach, caressing and rubbing it gently, almost teasingly
He smiled as he continued rubbing your stomach and slowly felt his hand moving lower, closer to your lower half, almost like a taunting threat
"Feel good, baby bun? Gonna make you feel good, mm?"
You sniffled at that, really needing some friction and touch but he was just teasing you
He smiled and leaned down, gently kissed away the tear from the corner of your eye as he got between your legs
"keep your legs spread for me like this.. okay?"
You nodded and as always obeyed.. who were you to say no.. you really needed him and this was his own good will to make you feel good..
He smiled and leaned down as he started prepping soft kisses on the waist band of your panties before slowly pulling then down
He threw them aside.. somewhere.. as he looked at your small.. pretty, glistering pussy, it was dripping wet, soaking your panties that were now discarded somewhere on the floor
"My pretty pussy.. look at that.. you're so wet.. need me that much bunny?.. gonna make you feel good.."
He leaned down and started kissing your clit and the outside of your entrance, you buckled your hips up, immediately feeling good and needing more..
But.. he pushed your hips down and continued his ministration on your dripping cunt, your hands went to his head right away, getting tangled in his hair as you just pushed his head into your pussy more and more
He was devouring your cunt like a hungry man, he traced the rim of your entrance before pushing his tongue in, swirling it around your gummy walls, loving the way they squeeze him
You felt that familiar knot forming in your stomach.. you were close and it wasn't even a suprise cus of how much you spent without touching yourself
When Riki felt you clench around his tongue more and harder, he sped up, lapping at your cunt
"Mmm cummingggg.."
Just as you said that your cum pilled all over his lips, but he didn't stop yet.. he was gonna make up for all that suffering he put you through
You arched your back excessively as he kept on riding you through your orgasm and possibly giving you another one
"Riki Riki Rikiiiii fuckk"
You arched your back once more as you stared shaking, squirting all over his pretty face as your clit was pulsing, he held your hips tight so you wouldn't move of off his tongue as he dug deeper into your cunt
"mm fuck bunny.. cant stop.."
At least now you know how next NNN will go if this man doesn't get your cunt..
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"If a night of passion is on offer.." It's ok to take it.
I think some passion flower would do nicely for this pot of thought. Does Astarion really want a night of passion or is he people pleasing? Lets steep on it.
WARNING: Game spoilers and talk of S.A..
Hmmm...to be randy or not to be randy. That is the conundrum.
This is not fact, is just opinion based off my own and game experience. As always, how anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right! No blame, no shame, it's your game!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have seen a lot of comments expressing anxiety about whether or not Tav should accept Astarion's proposal for sex in the grave yard.
"Given his past, I'm just not sure he really wants it."
"Is he just doing it because now that Caza..MF is dead he thinks I will leave now that the task is done?"
"Is he feeling insecure in his new freedom?"
"Is it too soon for him to be sexual after so much trauma for so long?"
"Does he mean what he is saying? Or is he being funny?"
I was one of those people. But now that iv had time to ponder it..
One thing to keep in mind is that most (I wont say all) S.A victims can, in time, start to enjoy sex again in safe, secure situations.
Treating them like they are fragile and tip toeing around them isn't fair. It doesn't help them build resilience or help them find a way back to a healthier relationship with sex.
If they are offering, trust them to make that choice.
Lets say you had a bad experience with swimming. You are scared of the water now, but you still love the ocean. You could forsake the water forever, and some do and that's a perfectly right choice, or you find small ways back to it.
Sit by the edge and watch the tide. Chase the tide out then let it chase you back in. Dip just your toes in the water. Then your hands, then your legs etc etc . Until one day you are back in the ocean.
It's the same with sexual interaction. Small steps to build your emotional strength back up.
That's not to say they wont still have pre or postcoital dysphoria from time to time, (fear of drowning) but it does get easier as time goes on. The more the experiences end in happy memories instead of tragic ones, the easier it gets.
So, does it show a lack of empathy to sleep with Astarion in the grave yard?
Nope. I think he actually does want to connect with you sexually.
Why?
Because of the dialogue you have regarding offering him the Astral-Touched tadpole. He says no. Then says...
"I had nothing for so long. Nothing. Not even my own body. I will NOT give it up, now it's mine again."
His face is one of complete conviction. He alone, controls what happens to his body. Who gets to use it, what happens to it, when it happens, where it happens and why it happens. Period.
This happens before you reach the city. Which means se has already regained the ability to say "no" long before graveyard.
Even if you chose to convince him to sleep with you after he asks you not to in his confession, he still asserts the boundary. It may be after the fact, and he leaves you, but it's still there.
So it wouldn't make much sense for him to suddenly back track and start offering sex as a means to manipulate Tav now.
Also, he is not using his "I'm lying out my fangs" face or his "I'm gong to literally seduce the pants off of you" face.
Mask of Lies Mask of Seduction
So, with those two things in mind, and I'm sure there are more, fast forward to that fateful night in the cemetery where he says he wants you to seduce him and...* insert suspenseful music*
BEHOLD!
When he says "If a night of passion is on offer, I could be persuaded" his face is almost exactly the same as when he says "I love you, I love this. And I want it all".
(and there was much rejoicing)
He is not pulling the faces that he uses when he lies or seduces. Which means the offer is sincere. You have, through repetition and consistency, proven to him that you care about him because of who he is to you. Not because of what he can do for you. Which was what he wanted. You are a safe space. "I feel safe with you. Seen." And for our affection starved elf, that's got to be a total turn on.
Also, with Cazador dead, he can let go of the subconscious fear of you being destroyed in some way if he sleeps with you.
He can make love to you with all the feelings he's ever had to repress involved. And for the first time in 200 years, not have the fear of it being ripped away any second, or being punished for it, by that monster or himself.
Here, on his new birthday, where his new life starts, he choses to experience you.
So put the doubt down and go get some grave dirt in places it shouldn't be.
And get some saucy elf in places you want him to be.
But, a graveyard? Really?
Why not? Where else would be more appropriate to have a "little death" with someone? *wink*
Or it could be that fact that your bedroom has more people in it than a clown car. Needs must..
Oh, but do keep a look out for Gracie, the grave yard guard. She has a low tolerance for mischief.
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Almost Perfect
You can't blame them, how could you?
Even after years of trying to fit into human society, they still can't seem to perfect it, not truly. Not even the best amongst them could pass for one, just a single glance and the knowledgeable would be aware of their lack of humanity.
It took a while, yes. Mastering how the legs moved, how the elbows should bend, all took time. At first they barely even looked humanoid, especially when they moved. Too quickly, too slow, never quite understanding the way their limbs looked so dreamlike, almost nightmarish. Their hands took the longest, having to learn, from scratch, just how each knuckle bent, how many fingers there were.
But after so, so many years of watching us, they are so close they can almost taste it. If only they had tongues. But despite this, they have voices, broken, inhuman, for now.
I apologize, but earlier, I was being dishonest, but you don't mind. Not as though I'm any more truthful than those who created them. You see, they didn't take the longest with the hands, no, It was the faces. But how could you despise them for it? Noses, moths, eyes
... Not even your most skilled ever captured just the life-likess of humans.
No person, no sane one, would dare look into them let alone allow them selves or their craft to be absorbed by those.... What are they? Robots could be a term, buy they lack the metal. Doppelgangers? No, they contain far too many people to be considered a copy of just one. Whatever you call them, they are still the same. Same snake, different skin as they say.
But as I was saying, they needed more... More of what? Those of whom dedicate their time to... Create something. Those who will spend hours perfecting their mediocre 'art' on a canvas, no not even a canvas, a mere sheet of paper. Those who will spend their minutes slaving away to make that of which others need, want and use everyday yet will never be grateful for. The people who spend every waking second making whatever their heart desires and for what.... For their passion? Certainly not for money, not now atleast.... Perhaps they are of the creative sort.
Yes, creativity, that's what these being desire for, at their core. Every image, every picture, all filled with so much imagination brought to life. And what is the price of that?
Well, a lot, but to be quite frank, it shouldn't be. It's just a few well placed lines, why should any of us have to spend our well earned money on this? If these people who value their originality truly wanted a roof above their head, maybe they should try getting a real job. An occupation that we appreciate.
Now as for the consuming of these.... Artists, every thing the do, it fuels the beings. But sooner or later, we should have suspected this problem. They. Don't. Look. Normal.
Normal, original, ordinary. After a while, the talented's numbers have dwindled. Now, instead of eyes of hope for the future, how our emotion will shape the world around us, in there place it is empty.
A pit, so deformed has it not been placed upon a face you'd sooner guess you were looking at a black hole than what should be eyes. But eyes are the window to the soul.
Their noses could never inhale, exhale. Their eyebrows always seem to inconsistent, their ears neve made sense, hair shouldn't pass through them. Their mouths can't properly utter words.
We were however, able to perfect one. It may not look human enough to pass, but you know that many don't care, not those who value their golden pockets.
But I fear that these beings, and I mean this with respect, are thieves. Not our creations, they are a work of art. I mean the peope who think any should care for what they have worked so hard for. Be it on a page or screen, canvas or still life. They take from people of wealth, and they know that surely will will not tolerate being stolen from.
Please, blame the computer, the complex metal of which we have use to create these beings (out of necessity). Put the guilt on the souless gun.
Never the shooter with it's ebony eyes.
(short writing exercise, I'm trying to get better, so feel free to give constructive criticism :D)
so are they just hoping we don't notice the nightmare faces or
#writing exercise#pls be constructive#ai art sucks#art is dead#ai#sorry for any errors#english is my first language#And I suck at it
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pictures of us.
matt x reader
you’ve never been in a relationship, not that you don’t want to be in one, but no one has ever found you attractive. your friends always came to you for advice, talking to you about their problems, their crushes, their love lives.
“what should i say to him?”
“he’s mad at me, what should i do?”
“he’s been avoiding me for weeks! should i break up with him?”
of course, you were happy for them, always offering advice with a genuine smile, but sometimes, deep down, you wished you were in their shoes. so many boys were enamored by their beauty, constantly chasing after them, leaving you to wonder, what about me? what was wrong with you? why didn’t anyone ever look at you the way they looked at them?
it didn’t take long for you to stop caring. you convinced yourself that you didn’t need anyone to be happy. your life could be complete without someone else filling that space.
“...but i also was- are you even listening to me?” matt’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, his words breaking through your trance. you blinked, realizing that you were sitting in his room on his bed, watching him talk while your mind had drifted away to places you didn't want to acknowledge.
“hm?” you looked up, surprised by how much you had zoned out. matt was standing in front of you, dressed in his usual grey sweatpants, the waistband of his red calvin klein boxers peeking out from under them. he was just a few feet away, but your mind had wandered so far.
“oh, sorry. i think i just... zoned out. what were you saying?”
matt sighed, sitting beside you, his presence a little more serious than before. something about his tone didn’t sit right with you.
“you’ve been acting... strange for the past few days. what’s up with you?” his voice was soft, but there was a frown on his face, concern in his eyes.
“what do you mean by strange? i’m perfectly fine!” you didn’t realize how defensive you sounded until the words left your mouth. your voice rose sharply, startling both you and matt.
he looked at you, his brows furrowing in confusion. why had you raised your voice? he hadn’t said anything wrong. he was just worried. but why did it bother you so much?
matt’s voice softened, his gaze shifting from confusion to something else—something unreadable. “i’m just worried, okay? you’ve been... different. more distant.”
you felt a tightness in your chest, but you didn’t know how to express what was really going on. maybe it was just easier to pretend like everything was fine.
“maybe i’m just tired,” you said quickly, trying to brush it off. “nothing to worry about, matt.”
but matt didn’t let it go. “i don’t think it’s just that. we’ve known each other forever, and i can tell when something’s off with you. if you’re going through something, you know you can talk to me.”
your heart skipped a beat. was he just being a good friend? or was there something more? the way he was looking at you—so earnest, so concerned—it made your stomach flutter, but you quickly shut the thought down. no, you couldn’t be thinking like that.
you didn’t respond immediately, your mind racing. instead, you changed the subject, almost too quickly. “hey, are you still watching gravity falls with your brothers?” you asked, hearing the familiar voices coming from the living room. “i love that show.”
matt’s frown deepened, but he didn’t press any further. “yeah. they’re probably still watching. you wanna join them?”
you smiled, but the thought of spending time with matt felt... different now. what is wrong with me? you thought, shaking your head. stop overthinking.
𝜗𝜚
you loved music. you loved drawing. and those two passions, together, created something perfect for you. when you drew, it wasn’t just about the lines and colors. it was about the rhythm of the music guiding you, inspiring every stroke. you were like a painter with a soundtrack, each note blending seamlessly with the colors swirling on your canvas. music pulsed through your veins, setting the tempo, and guiding your hand. without it, drawing felt like trying to drive a car without fuel—motionless, incomplete. you couldn’t imagine creating anything without the melodies that calmed your mind and stirred your soul.
matt was in the living room, watching gravity falls with his brothers. you loved this show. it was fun, clever, and full of strange adventures. but today, your thoughts felt distracted. you knew you shouldn’t, but something about the quiet of the house and matt being so engrossed in his show made you do it. you stood up from the chair that was next to matt’s desk and grabbed the diary he’d left behind, curiosity gnawing at you.
inside, you found something unexpected
pictures of you and him.
at first, you giggled, feeling a warm sensation spread through you as you flipped through the pages. it was filled with things you two had talked about, little moments that seemed so simple but meant so much. but then you turned to the last page.
it was a recent entry, dated for today.
"might tell her how i feel tomorrow."
your heart skipped a beat as you stared at the words, your mind trying to process what it meant. could it be? was matt talking about you?
you ran your fingers over the page, over the ink. your thoughts raced. he’s been acting different, you realized. but i thought it was just me...
you remembered the way matt had looked at you earlier, his eyes soft and full of concern. his subtle touches, the way he’d always been there when you needed him. you never thought much of it, not really. but now, the idea that he might feel something more made your chest tighten, and a strange warmth flooded your cheeks.
you weren’t sure what to do with this new information. should you confront him? did you want him to tell you how he felt? what if it changed everything between you two? what if it ruined your friendship?
you closed the diary, setting it down carefully on the bed. for the first time in a long while, you weren’t sure what to think, and the uncertainty was overwhelming.
𝜗𝜚
later that evening, you were sitting in the living room, drawing absentmindedly. matt was still watching gravity falls, but his brothers weren’t there. you could feel his presence next to you, a palpable tension hanging in the air. you kept stealing glances at him, trying to figure out how to bring it up, or whether you should at all.
just tell him, you thought. but fear of rejection, fear of ruining everything held you back.
when matt finally turned to you, his voice was soft. “hey... i was wondering if we could talk about something.”
you froze. oh no. here it comes.
“sure,” you said, forcing yourself to meet his eyes.
he hesitated for a moment, then exhaled slowly, as if gathering courage. “you’ve been distant lately. and i know you’ve been... busy, but i just want you to know i’m here if you need anything. i... i care about you, okay?”
your heart skipped another beat, and for a moment, everything else faded away. i care about you.
suddenly, everything seemed clearer. but as you looked at him, you realized something—this wasn’t the same as what you had imagined. it was more. the butterflies in your stomach weren’t just from curiosity anymore.
you swallowed hard, your throat dry. “i care about you too, matt.”
he smiled softly, but there was something more in his eyes. something he wasn’t saying yet, but you knew it was there. and in that moment,
everything changed.
a/n... first fic hellooooo what are we thinkingg? send some requests please! i was literally so excited before even posting this lmfao 😭 @strnilolover <3
© PPLEASEXANNY
#sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#ppleasexanny
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calla ❀˖°
boyfriend!jisung x composer gn!reader ♡
genre: comfort
calla, someone said that your time will be over soon
jisung watches silently as you flip through your music sheets again, your eyes distant, and fingers trembling. the weight of the notes scribbled across the pages being too much to bear, too heavy to carry.
"i can't do this anymore, sung," you murmur, voice brittle and fragile, much like a withering flower.
he doesn't respond immediately, letting your words hang in the quiet studio. his heart aches as he takes in the sight of your broken form—hair a chaotic mess, your favorite sweater wrinkled from days of wear, and dark shadows under your eyes from sleepless nights and tears that never seemed to end.
he's never seen you like this before, and it scares him.
it hurts him.
but calla, you can always grow back, oh
"my love," he says softly, hands reaching up to soothe your head, gently combing through your hair, smoothing the unruly strands that stick out.
you lean into his touch instinctively, finding comfort in the warmth of his hands, but your eyes remain fixed on the crumpled sheets in your lap. the music notes and lyrics blurring together, a cruel reminder of everything you think you've failed at.
he kneels beside you, gaze never leaving your fragile form and gently pries the crumpled pages from your hands.
you make a weak attempt to snatch them back, but jisung's grip is firm as his eyes meet yours—soft and filled with an unwavering warmth that cracks open the walls you've built around yourself.
"these notes aren't failures," he starts, his tone steady. "you're not a failure."
"but what if i am?" you whisper, voice cracking as tears start to well up in your eyes again.
"what if i'll never be able to write a song again?"
at your words, jisung's heart clenches, the weight of your pain pressing down on him. it frustrates him to see you like this—struggling and unsure, as if the spark that once burned so brightly in your heart has been put out.
if you don't have enough sunlight,
you used to live for composing. music called out to you in a way no one could understand. it was the love of your life—something jisung used to complain about, how you seemed to love your music more than you loved him.
but despite his endless complaints, jisung never resented it. he always supported you, loved seeing your passion for music, even if it meant he had to lose you to the studio sometimes.
gently, he pulls you into his arms, cradling you against his chest as his voice softens, "don't say that," he murmurs against your hair. "you have so much to give, my love. you don't have to see it all right now. you're not meant to have everything figured out at once."
hearing his words, you bury your face in his chest, trembling as your emotions flood through you. the ache in your chest feels endless, and the doubts eat away at you like an unforgiving tide.
he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, cupping your face in his hands. "i'm here," he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "c'mon, we'll get through this. one note at a time."
i'll blow the clouds away, calla
jisung keeps you close, his steady warmth grounding you, and only when your sobs quiet into soft hiccups does he speaks again, his voice low and soothing. "do you trust me?"
you hesitate for awhile, thoughts still clouded with uncertainty, but you eventually nod against him.
he smiles softly, brushing away the tear-streaked hair from your face before reaching for the forgotten music sheets, picking up a pen and scribbling something in big block letters across the page.
curious, you sneak a glance at the page, reading the sentence: MARK'S HAD BAD DAYS TOO.
you blink a few times, re-reading the sentence and processing the absurdity, before bursting out into a fit of giggles. jisung joins, both your laughters filling the studio and pulling you back from the edge of your despair.
"what?!" he teases, grin widening as he watches you giggle. "it's true! mark's had bad days and he still wrote, like, 200 songs."
"you and your admiration for mark..." you tease, wiping the last of your tears away.
he watches you adoringly, gaze soft with nothing but affection in his eyes. "but i admire you the most. you know that right?" the sincerity in his voice settling deep in your heart, almost like a soft embrace that promises everything will be okay.
"i know," you whisper, squeezing his hand softly. "thank you for being here, sung."
authors note: dedicated to anybody who has been struggling/overwhelmed with their work! we can get through this together, ily <3 also happy belated birthday to my lele pie (i will write for you soon... one day...)
taglist ♡: @ldh0000 @haechyuckan
#nct#nct dream#nct jisung#park jisung#nct imagines#nct dream imagines#park jisung imagines#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#park jisung fluff#nct drabbles#nct dream drabbles#park jisung drabbles#nct scenarios#nct dream scenarios#park jisung scenarios#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#park jisung x reader
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embarrassed
kageyama x reader
LABELS: smut, fingering.
-getting better i think!! still new to fic writing.
this is the most embarrassing thing ever. your boyfriend had just started fingering you and you had already cummed on his fingers.
you didn’t even know you were close untill all of the sudden the sensation was far to overwhelming and you were clawing at his wrist to stop.
but now here you were, a solid minute- ish into your sexual activies with you boyfriend and already drained.
you didn’t even want to know what he was thinking. he probably thought you were such a loser for that.
“oh my fuck” you heard him say out though a groan. you were so so so embarrassed!
you peaked up through your hands to find your boyfriends eyes trained on yours.
“i’m so sorry tobio. that’s so embarr-“ you started, before you could finish he cut you off.
“that was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen. do you think you could do it again?” he said with admiration. in his eyes there was somthing unrecognizable.
it was a passion, a drive to make you cum on his fingers again.
“i… i don’t know.” you stated.
before you could re- adjust yourself his fingers found his way into your cunt again.
“i’ll make you feel good i promise. just please let me make you feel good” he begged while pumping his in and out of you.
your back arched up off the bed, into his touch. your hands wandered looking for his wrists. it was too much! you just came already.
“you know you want it just let me fuck your cunt with my fingers” he said continuing his assault.
you moaned his words. there was a tone that you liked. he could say anything and it would turn you on.
“you liked that huh? felt you clench around my fingers.” he stated.
you moaned in response.
“t-tobi..oo.. i don’t know- how much more i can take.” you struggled out. trying to close your legs.
your weak attempt at stopping him was met with a stable grip on your thigh.
“shut up and just take it.” he curled his fingers into your gummy walls.
before you knew it, you snapped. moaning you to him. mumbling thank yous and sorrys to your boyfriend.
eventually taking his fingers out of you to then lick them clean.
your face felt hot. your body felt hot. everything was hot.
“told you it’d feel good” he said popping his fingers out of his mouth.
………………………………………………………………………………..
-# i love you kageyama
#anime#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#daichi sawamura x reader#daichi x reader#haikyu fluff#haikyu manga#haikyuu smau#manga#kageyama tobio#haikyuu kageyama#kageyama x reader#kageyama smut
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I followed your blog from a search on chastity keyholders. I have not read everything (you answer a lot of questions!) but it looks like you keep your husband permanently chastitzed for years? has he ever asked to be unlocked? did you ever unlock him if he asked? and what would you do if he told you that he didn't want to be locked in chastity anymore? would you just unlock him?
I do get this question a lot... I think that a lot of men have a hard time understanding that for my husband and I, in our relationship him being locked stopped being a game a long time ago. That does not mean it's not still fun... it's amazing for the both of us! But him being locked up for me is part of a commitment that he has made, and that commitment is now very important to our relationship... in fact, it's now an essential part of our relationship in such a way that I do not think that it would be the same without it.
Many years ago after we had been playing with keeping him locked up I came to the realization that having the control over his sexuality was exciting to me. But it wasn't just exciting, it gave me confidence about myself and about our relationship. I told him that I wanted 100% control over that part of him. He agreed, knowing that I could keep him locked up for any length of time, from weeks to months, or even longer. He committed to that and has never once asked to go back on that. And even during times when he was not locked, I do not think that he broke that promise to me. That level of commitment and the strength he needs to continue is very sexy, but also very inspiring to me. How many men would voluntarily give up their orgasms because their wives asked them?
So... when men used to ask me this question I used to feel uneasy thinking about it. My husband is almost always attentive and affectionate with me, and he treats me like a queen. He is never too busy to give me some affection, or even to make me a cup of tea while I'm watching tv at night. I love how he has to keep his passion restrained (like he has a choice! 😂). I love how he will snuggle with me in bed every night so I can go to sleep, and how he wakes up in the morning to hold me, and I can feel his hot cage pressing against my ass. I never, ever wanted to think about that not happening. I used to think that if he did ask, I would do my best to talk him out of it. And in fact, I have honestly told him that if he could not wear his cage anymore I would probably still deny him intercourse because I can see how much positive it has brought to our relationship.
But now that we are coming up onto 7 whole years of this, I am more confident that my husband never would ask to end this. Not only does he know how happy this makes me, he also enjoys his role as my devoted knight. He has grown to love the feeling of arousal that he has for me every day. He literally thanks me for keeping him locked because of how it allows him to focus on me and my pleasure. And the longer this goes on... the longer he stays locked for me... the more sure I am that he would never want to go back to how things used to be.
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Congrats on 1k!
🍨 Taste -Sabrina Carpenter
With Adam Ruzek or Kelly Severide please!!
A/N: I chose Adam, hope you don't mind. I also mean no hate to him at all, he just made this most sense. Thank you so much for ordering. I've written this after one of the most tiring weeks of my life so I hope this is up to standards. Enjoy!!
🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨
i heard your back together and if that's true
It had been two months since your break up and you'd been dealing with it better than you had been expecting. You weren't crying constantly and your moping lasted no longer than two weeks.
But just because you were fully healed and over your ex boyfriend didn't mean that you didn't feel some sort of way when you found out he had already moved on with someone else.
And this just wasn't any someone, it was his ex girlfriend, the one he was dating before you, the one he told you to never worry about.
You could only scoff when you saw them together at your local café, your sister holding back her laughter when she caught them first.
You'll just have to taste me when he's kissin' you
There was a sick little part of you that had you thinking that, maybe this new relationship was exactly the revenge you needed on him.
You two had been together for nearly three years, being together for such a long period of time that everyone thought a proposal was imminent.
You had done so much together, had accomplished so many milestones together. Without a doubt, you left a significant mark on him and his life that he could never erase.
And you couldn't help but think that maybe you still impacted his life because certain habits of his were clearly influenced by you.
When they were together out and about, they were doing the things you both used to do. There was no doubt that you were an unwilling third person in their relationship.
if you want forever, and i bet you do
He mentioned it briefly before when you first started dating that one of the reasons he broke it off was because she wanted to get married and he just wasn't ready for that yet.
It seems that even several years later, some things never changed.
And you knew exactly how she felt - to be so deeply in love with a single man that its impossible to ask you not to imagine the rest of your life together.
just know you'll taste me too
You couldn't help but smirk at the way Adam's eyes lingered on your table as they were leaving, his girl clearly noticing as her brows furrowed before huffing and dramatically pulling him into a passionate kiss.
His eyes fluttered closed but hers remained firmly on you.
You continued to smile, waving at her with your fingers before sipping your coffee, your sister now openly cackling.
Her response was to angrily stomp out, her hand clawing his bicep as she dragged him outside.
Every time you close your eyes and feel his lips, you're feelin' mine
You watched from afar as time passed, their relationship developing and blossoming but, your 'presence' weighed heavy.
Every time they kissed, whether it be a quick peck or a long make out session in 'private', she always came out unsatisfied, conflict written all over her face.
Your satisfaction only grew. After the break up, you were now thriving but the same couldn't be said for the two of them.
And every time you breathe his air just know I was already there
You couldn't help but think, indulgently, if there was still traces of you left behind. Luckily for you, the tells were very telling.
Adam still using your portable coffee mug, the Lego figure on his keys, the shirts you gifted him still in rotation and the list goes on.
They were living together at this point, and you had no doubt that wherever she went in his apartment, pieces of you were most likely still laying around, forever taunting her.
You can have him if you like. I've been there, done that once or twice
You couldn't understand her obsession.
At first, you somewhat got it. Even you were like that a little bit at the beginning of your relationship, contemplating on his ex due to your insecurities.
But now, this was slightly worrying. Yet, you couldn't stop yourself from feeling a little bit of pride.
If you could confront her somehow, reassure her girl-to-girl that she could have him. You were happy for her to take him off your hands, then you would, one hundred percent, take up the opportunity.
But you enjoyed being one her mind 24/7. It made you feel ways that Adam never had in all the three years you two were together.
You had been with him for more than long enough and life now was better than ever. If she wanted him that badly, then she could have him, no words needed.
And singin' 'bout it don't mean I care. Yeah, I know I've been known to share
One year after Adam and his new girl getting together, you sat in Molly's with someone new too.
It had only been two months, this was all fairly new but you had some hope that this could be good. You were excited about what your future together could look like, the butterflies in your stomach being very much missed.
Mumbling a quick thanks under your breath, you pressed a quick kiss onto his cheek, your giddy smile hidden by the glass rim as he looked at you in amusement but a soft look in his eyes and the warmest smile.
You could feel both pairs of eyes trained onto you as he sat down next to you, his arm going around the back of your chair, his hand resting comfortingly on your shoulder.
"Everything okay?" He asked, noticing you zoning out slightly.
You hummed, softly smiling up at who you hoped would be your boyfriend.
"Yes." You nodded, this man being the only important person as the other two faded into the background. "Everything's perfect."
Jay smiled, pressing a longing kiss on your temple, making you feel all warm and gooey on the inside before resuming his conversation with his brother.
Sipping your wine, all you could feel was the tingling Jay left behind on your lips. All you could taste was him.
#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagine#one chicago fic#onechicago#chicago pd#adam ruzek#adam ruzek x reader#x reader#one chicago fanfiction#chicago pd x reader#jay halstead#jay halstead x reader
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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HI. MACKERELMORE. nhw trickster. killington. amity. the chaos zone. deadwood. new and funny and interesting ways to slaughter people. tide clone shit. bonesaw boiling the failed clones alive. muse. trickster using muse to do shit like u just saw in killington. the wards seeing the trickster using muse to execute people in ways Like That. holds up mic!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD. THERES SO MUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD FOR NHW IN THE CHAPTERS I READ EARLIER. fuck. god. shit. okay.
starting with the trickster bc i feel like when i get into tides stuff ill talk for 10 years. ohhhhh my god dude as soon as they walked into a town called fucking KILLINGTON ????? i was like. god thats a joke trickster would make huh!!!!! hed think thats so fucking funny. (and it is. but only to me who has the advantage of seeing this as a narrative and not a real event i am experiencing. fucking hilarious shit. killington??!?!?!?!? killington. ) i have a lot of thoughts about the shit he did to Amity before he escaped and like. yeah. fuckin yeah. i dont think he wouldve killed Everyone in the city (gotta have. puppets to play with and also like. people who hes not controlling to chase around and hunt for sport) (this is fucking terrifying and awful! this is so bad! like catastrophically so!) but i definitely think when the wards go to amity (because i want them to do that so bad at some point) i think it will be in sort of a similar state to this with like. bodies strung up like decorations. graffiti made from fuckign. ash and blood and paint all mixed together. really obviously placed traps. etc etc etc. jsut like. evidence that this place is like his fucking playground! horrifying!
anyway yeah also muse holy shit. muse has to singlehandedly raze at least one fuckign town. for sure. dude dude like that fucking video jack had where they had everyone gathered together before they started killing them? that but with trickster and muse? and its . more fucking scary because instead of 200+ slaughterhouse 9 clones its literally JUST trickster and muse. and whatever random handful of puppets trickster is controlling around the edge of the crowd for extra sets of hands.. aauogaouguguhhghhhgh. i need them to do horrific shit.
OKAY. CLONE TIME. CLONE TIM.E . OUGHGHHGHGH TIIIIDE. TIIIIIIIIDE. how many failed clones do you htink there were. how many failed clones to make tide and magma. do you think they know about the failed clones. they got fucking BOILED ALIVE. do u think tide and magma ever see any of the other clones before theyre ready and they have to look at their own fucking faces (face?) and think about that. i still have that post abt the lambert family in my drafts god i need 2 finish that but. in my mind tide and magma are the oldest (technically magma is the oldest but tide was like. a year or less after him so theyre closer in age) and then it was. seismic and whirlwind at the same time so theyre twins. and then shockwave. and then elle. so i think tide and magma have that Eldest Sibling bond where they have. Issues that are parallel to each other. and a LOT of that comes from being endbringer juniors and a lot of that comes from being clones. but where magma got closed off and aloof about it tide like. desperately clung to kindness bc he doesnt like when people are scared of him. anyway im getting distracted. FUCKING CLOOOOOONE SHIT. CLONE LORE. WORM CLONE LORE. THE WHOLE LIKE. either implanting false memories from other people or needing to raise them from scratch????? thats fucking insane. oh my god. what the fuck kind of memories do u think they got. obviously a lot from dr lambert but like. man. do u think the endbringer thing is like baked into their fucking memories. its in their dna. i didnt quite understand the bit about bonesaw trying to give them their powers but if altering memories can alter what sorts of powers they get...... do the endbringers have dna. do u think tide and magma got endbringer dna in them. that would be sick (both in the sick meaning cool way and in the im gonna make myself sick way). actually that brings up the point. are the endbringers even organic??????????? or are they constructs?????????? since they were confirmed created by someone/something....... man. MANY THOUHGST HEAD FULL. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT NHW TIDE. bonesaw boiled the failed clones alive. i dont . i dont think tide and magma were ever *kids* (which is like. ow.) but like. god im just imagining the part in trigun where vash and knives find whats left of tesla. holy shit dude. do you see my vision here
#man fuck the trickster actually im just thinking abt tide and magma and their issues now.#like. i think tide and shockwave had a connection and they were really close bc they both like. actively chose kindness and wanted to#use their unfortunate situations to help people#i think whirlwind got. spiteful. bc we saw him working for overlord so . yeah#magma gets . disillusioned with it all. hes still a hero but theres no real. passion or care behind it.#they made him to be a tool fine he'll do his fucking job#seismic.... i cant say much about seismic. we see him like ONCE in the meatball planet fight and i dont think he even has any dialogue.#i could make something up though about the fact that his twin turned into a villain and the betrayal of that but he still stuck with the#heroes etc etc etc. idk i need 2 think abt him more.#ugugughhghghghhgh#save me lambert siblings...............................................#dont even get me STARTED on elle. like. i still havent fully figured her out yet but you BET your ass she got so fucked up#asks#intertexts#new haven wards#ughghghghhgg. thinking abt amity. thinking abt the lamberts.
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Also kind of funny how people say i’m quite discreet and don’t talk a lot when i’m afraid i talk too much (maybe too loud or too fast) and afraid i ended up annoyed them. (Can smn explain pls xD)
anyway it’s late i apologize if it doesn’t make so much sense it is late)
#i mean i know teachers have been tellign for years i don’t participate enough in class. sorry i just have nothing to say or don’t want too#also my pseudo/ nickname is literally fantomette aka ghost/ fantôme (feminine nickname) because i’m silencious#and people don’t know where i am (in my own house!) and now apparently i spawn next to people xD#yeah had a nice evening where i talked more with nice acquaintances at schools! and yeah i wonder…#is it a neurodivergent moment 😅#when i’m passion about smt i talk. A LOT. maybe too much. i always reflect how i say dumb things or perhaps ´cut’ too much people#and that i should just shut it and listen#cut = too much intervention/ adding stuff?#so yeah nice suprised i supposed. but yeah if i don’t directly talk to smn or have nothing to say well i listen/ go on my phone/ daydream#i already talk to myself a lot. not ok to do that in public lol#so yeah interesting 🤔 if smn know smt about well that subject could be cool#didn’t have anyone really close so i hang myself to group. but that’s cool re having friends time like earlier today with other cool people#autism adhd ? infj or just well me being me who knows i still don’t know
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most of the odinson brothers content im finding is from 6/7 years ago (makes sense, since that's around when ragnarok came out) and I'm watching old animation memes/animatics and stuff and God i never thought I'd find edm music nostalgic but it's making me want to go back to 2016 fandom when i didn't have twitter and everyone was nicer and artists weren't stalked so people could find dirt on them and there wasn't this weird minors vs adults age war and everything didn't feel like a crime and it was all just a good time :((
#Godddd#most of current fandom is just character analysis/motif exploration#WHICH IS GOOD I LIKE THAT#but i feel like thats happened as a result of online fandom spaces becoming more and more toxic and hostile#plus this era of depression everyone seems to be in#almost everything is seen as “cringe” and a lot of artists just lost passion bc they couldnt do anything without people scrutinising them#animation memes and animatics of characters iver disney songs have faded out#because no one can be asked to put that much time and effort into something thats gonna get ripped to shreds anyway#plus the “cringe” factor (IT'S NOT CRINGE)#fanmade online events are conducted like theyre some kind of organisation#i remember when anyone could take a crack at a fanart/fic/animation competition without it just being the seasoned/good artists#hell i was barely in the double digits age-wise and i still felt like i had a fair shot#and the MAPs.... theyre so rare now#now all thats left is analysis because nothing else is seemingly worth it#and if by some miracle you end up in a rly good discord server then.... sigh#fandom doesnt feel as fun anymore :[[#hashtag we had more fun when we were being “cringe”#can we try and bring it back? please?#odinsons#animation meme#animatics#fandom#might just be my tl/dash idk#me
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I've been keeping a video diary for the past two years to help with my ruined 🌟 mental health 🌟 and I officially stopped on new years day this year, as it served its purpose perfectly and Oh My God I am loving not having to capture something everyday, it's been a big relief to just exist and let time flow without reminding myself to document anything. It was exactly what I needed in 2022 to help me reconnect with my physical body and recognise my face and see myself in my own life the way I needed it, and in 2023 it was perfect for capturing my joys and loved ones and everything I was grateful or proud of, and now I'm ready to just live organically and I am Loving not having to take a video everyday!! Ugh its so good.
#honestly it was one of the best practical things I started doing to help myself back in 2022#in total 2022 had a total of 23 minutes of edited memories#and 2023 (so far as I'm still working on editing December) has about 37 minutes#it's brought me so much joy and happiness watching it back#i did journals for certain events like my birthday and concerts which used a lot of footage and longer clipa#and then cherrypicked from those to add to the yearlong journal#i also compared my summers to my winters#it was super interesting seeing how my priorities shifted and my self consciousness slipped away over time#it sounds odd but i became very fond of seeing myself in videos talking about things i was passionate about or making jokes#i got used to hearing my own laughter and accent#i grew affectionate of my own weird little facial expressions and the way I grin like a maniac when i got excited#it was like falling in love with the idea of myself alongside stitching back together my own image of mself as an interactive reallife self#with the physical body i could observe interacting in my life and see in the mirror#probably the healthiest thing i did for myself in 2022 was committing to that diary#and the healthiest thing for me now is taking the training wheels off and flying#so yeah#absolutely loving not remembering to have my phone 24/7#personal#rambles
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