#I could awaken the Achille's Heel with this.

[phoenix-hero-sakurako]

THROWS A SNOWBALL AT YOU - @electric-vivid

Hmph, that's a bit rude. Whatever, let's fight!!!

[rinnstars]

impressing you!

itoshi rin attempts to tell you he likes you in questionable ways

itoshi rin x reader : fluff, crack, use of brain rot terms, dti mentioned, super bad ending i’m so sorry idk anymore school got me, not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

growing up with itoshi rin with all his personality quirks, you were pretty sure you could expect anything and everything from him - whether that be him showing up at your house at midnight without any warnings, or him wearing your hello kitty pajamas after school for ‘fun’, or even eating frozen cheese straight out of the fridge for breakfast. but nothing could prepare you for what the hell he just asked you.

“what.” one chance for him to take back, or more so one chance for you to regain back your sanity from whatever you just swore to god he asked.

“.. i asked if you’d like to play dress to impress together.. you know because youre always playing it during class.” what the hell.

maybe the world was ending, and you look outside only to now be even more dismayed that the sun is in fact shining, the sky is perfectly blue, and there was no cloud in sight. then maybe this was all a dream after spending the previous night playing games, you pinch yourself and to your horror, you do in fact feel the pain as you nip at your own hand, almost yelping to the oblivious rin sitting beside you. or maybe your eyesight is failing you and you’re seriously deluding yourself that its rin simply after being apart from him for months, you think, removing your glasses and wiping it and nope - that was in fact rin, still wearing a blank face that youre far too used to.

“do you even have a roblox account..” you were 100% sure that whatever horror games you’ve seen him play does not involve roblox and he’s probably more likely to be a discord mod than a roblox player - credited to you friending him on steam and seeing the horror of games he has bought on that app

“.. ill make one now.” and you think maybe blue lock has actually rotted rin’s mind or maybe his friends there has corrupted the rin you once knew.

and instead of spending your math class, you know paying attention and doing the work assigned, there you were at the back row playing dress to impress with itoshi rin attempting his best but clearly not dressing to impress anyone to say the least.

and maybe this is a miracle and an awakening because you were so sure since a little kid that itoshi rin, your best friend in this entire world, do not have any weakness - whether that be in sports (for obvious reasons), in arts (getting an A even though he ‘winged it’), in games (carried you in shooting games and horror games) that maybe you’ve finally discovered his achilles heels that is apparently fashion.. and handling getting humbled by kids on roblox.

“why the hell is this kid calling my outfit skibidi toilet” if anything, in your honest reaction, you’d call me something worst than that looking at the total mess of a outfit he was wearing because why the hell is he wearing two hairs at once that do not merge at all. in fact, you’d be polite to even call whatever he’s just made an outfit in the first place because it looks like he genuinely spun a wheel and picked pieces at random.

even funnier is that you can practically see rin’s ear letting out steam - clearly upset that he’s apparently not winning the top place. if anything, you think its funnier because he doesnt even rage like this playing his competitive shooting game, or when he doesnt get a good grade for his exams, or even when he drops his ice cream when you were little, only when he plays soccer and apparently dress to impress. now maybe with his ego, or whatever he said learnt at blue lock, would be able to let him score a goal (win top place with a good outfit)

however, to his dismay, and to your expectation, he in fact does not win top places, not even top 3, by the end of the hour long math lesson.

and to him, he practically just lost the first tip that bachira told him and as he quotes “if you like someone you’ve got to like have shared interest right?” and clearly and unfortunately he just cannot get into dress to impress in the same way that you just aren’t really interested in football which he completely gets. but now he’s in doubt about his own situation and by that he means the love test percentage thing he was convinced to take by again bachihara - failing at a whooping 15% that he was meant to be your soulmate. but if there’s something he’s good at, its perseverance and he will not give up just because multiple kids in the game called him skibidi toilet

and right now he thinks hes absolutely down bad and he is only proving the allegations that he really has a crush on you when hes spending time after football practice to play dress to impress. even worse, hes looking up online guides on “cheatsheets” to get outfits, entering millions of codes to unlock hidden items, spending the entire night playing this game.

and of course, its at 4:30am when you log in only to find one person playing dress to impress and youre pretty sure this is the equivalant to a sleep paralysis demon as you blink all the sleep away in your eyes to confirm the words in front of you: itoshi rin is playing dress to impress in the middle of the night. more specifically, itoshi rin who preaches about taking care of ones body by sleeping early, eating all three meals, doing yoga every single day is ruining his sleep scheuldue for a roblox game. and as all sleep deprived people do, you send him a message to confirm that its in fact him and not a hacker.

chat

you: r u playing dti or have u not logged out of dti since class 😭😭

rin: playing

you: R U ACTLLY INTO DRESS TO IMPRESS… who r u impressing 🙏🏻🙏🏻

rin: you

and you feel your heart stop - and not because of caffeine, or another realisation that yoive forgotten to do your work right in class or winning a lucky draw from the ice cream you share with rin. but then the realisation hits and youre now instead let down because of course sleep deprived him would say such words that unfortunately made your heart pump because of all the years you’ve known him, you know that whenever he doesnt sleep well, he always becomes a different person, spouting nonsense about everything and anything as all the logic that he’s so used to melts away from his brain. and so you without thinking close your phone and leave itoshi rin on read.

and maybe its even worse that when you wake up, you realise rin sends you the number of stars he’s collected over his overnight grind that’s somehow more than the amount you’ve gathered throughout the weeks of playing dress to impress and even funnier because he’s clearly texting the wrong person.

chat

rin: (1 attachement)

rin: is this a good rank bachiara

rin: should i check if mine n y/n’s soulmate on that love website increased

you: shld be 100%

rin: from 15%?

you: i’m more accurate than it btw r u still on dti

rin: ?

rin: oh ignore

you: no lets play tgt actlly vote me 5* i need to have more stars than u

and you can’t wait to go to math class to play dress to impress with rin at the back of the class (spoiler alert: he won all the rounds somehow) now dating (he gives you five stars)

[soracities]

Hi! Would it be okay to ask for poems that radiate some kind of "red" energy? I saw your recommendations about the similar ask with blue and I really loved it, so I thought I could ask for more :)

Red and blue, twin poles of the world 💘I had to think about this one (red has a distinct vibe for me) but I think all of these feel "red" when I read them, in one form or another, if not always overtly, so I hope you enjoy them, too:

"In the Desert" by Stephen Crane

"Woman Unborn" by Anna Swir

"El Beso" by Angelina Weld Grimké

"What Do Women Want?" by Kim Addonizio

"For You" by Kim Addonizio

"I'm Explaining a Few Things" by Pablo Neruda

"Dirty Valentine" by Richard Siken

"Little Beast" by Richard Siken

"Aubade" by Miller Williams

"Green and Gold" by Rachel Hadas

"Ishtar Awakens in Chicago" by Mohja Kahf

"The Second Coming" by W.B. Yeats

"O" by Dunya Mikhail

"Center of the World" by Safiya Sinclair

"[i like my body when it is with your]" by e.e. cummings

"[your little voice]" by e.e. cummings

"Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell" by Marty McConnell

"Complaint of Achilles' Heel" by Charles Jensen

"What a Cyborg Wants" by Franny Choi

"A Moment" by Saadi Youssef

"And After That" by Lorca

"Harlem" by Langston Hughes

"Lamenting Widow" by Ho Xuan Hong

"The Unicorn" by Angela Carter

"Dulzura" by Sandra Cisneros

"The Story of Madame Chevalier" by Ciarán Carson

"The Witch Has Told You a Story" by Ava Leavell Haymon

[moonyasnow]

~Info stuff~

Hello! My name is Moonyasnow; call me Moony for short!

My fandoms:

TWST/Twisted Wonderland [ main! ]

Fire Emblem (Fates/Awakening/Three Houses)

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (anime only)

I have an NSFW side blog here!

{ Image template Here! }

Non-OC Masterlist!

OC Masterlist! (please ask about them I am on the floor begging OTL)

~ T A G S ~ #moony reblog #moony's writing #moony's art #saving for future writing use #moony yaps #moony's moots

#👁️👁️hngggg…dragon boy [ Moony Malleus-posting, reblog or not ] #whiny little goblin baby funny 'ism' man yandere pyromaniac choir boy my beloved [ Moony Rollo-posting, reblog or not ]

Some quick boundary stuff:

I feel uncomfortable about other romantic Malleus x OC ships, so if you have one, please make a tag for it so I can block said tag

…that's all I could think of bye 👋

W r i t i n g s t u f f !

I like writing! :) I wanna write more, but figuring out what to write is usually my Achilles' Heel— so that's why I'm taking writing requests! Only really writing for Twisted Wonderland, as well as my OCs!

State of writing request box: C L O S E D !

Please try to be specific with your requests (for headcanons, a specific type of Reader, for fics a specific scenario) because sadly, too much freedom makes it harder for me to get ideas ; ;

I can write either short fics or headcanons

VERY open to just straight up out-there requests. The more specific the better honestly! I welcome all the freaks here!

No NSFW (Suggestive/implied is ok tho!)

No breaking-up style prompts. But Angst is VERY welcome! I’m also very very open to writing prompts that include things like past abuse, mental illness stuff, and generally darker topics. Yandere stuff, too!

Lilia, Ortho, Grim, NRC staff, Gidel and any Family Characters will always be platonic

I won't currently write for: Epel, Lilia, Che'nya, Rollo, Fellow Honest, Gidel, Skully or any Book 7 characters — I just don't feel like I have a good enough understanding of them to write them yet.

I ALSO REFUSE TO WRITE ANYTHING FOR CROWLEY THAT IS NOT HIM SUFFERING BECAUSE I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION

A request is always allowed no matter the subject material! Just know I might not write some that make me uncomfortable. ADHD + school (+perfectionism) means requests could take a little while, so please be patient— it doesn't mean I've forgotten about it or am ignoring it; I'm just a slow writer, hehe…

I WILL LITERALLY DIGITAL KISS YOU IF YOU ASK ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF MY OCS THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. I WILL PRIORITIZE ANY OC ASKS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I AM B I A S E D

[aoitakumi8148]

...Born of death, hiding just beneath the flesh ~ desolate, this heart yearns for a reprieve...

𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓦𝓮𝓮𝓹, 𝓘𝓽 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓓𝓸 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓦𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓸 𝓓𝓲𝓮.

[v.1-v.6] Some gaps left to fill in ✏/✏ ❛The truest three-letter-word... for 𝓟❜ ﴾summary﴿.

The nature of Ergo x Ego is not fully comprehended by humans. ✒ The Creator knows that the memories of the Dead can be regained through puppets... ✒ But their separate awakened individuality is a mystery to him: 𝟙.𝟙 Sometimes, a certain amount of irritation with puppets... 𝟙.𝟚 & the Master’s estrangement from them can be heard in the intonation. 𝟙.𝟛 ‘Just a puppet’ x ‘useless puppet’ x the ‘greatest puppet’ x etc. ↬ clearly indicate: ☑ The Creator has this *conditional boundary in his mind from the outset. 𝒫.𝒮. ‘Humans-puppets’ ↬ ‘Carlo-my puppet that almost looks like Carlo’. ☑ He is driven by a few irresistible, genuine, even unconscious urges: 𝟙.𝟛.𝟙 To convey his unspoken fatherly feelings. 𝟙.𝟛.𝟚 To ‘eliminate the inconsistencies’. 𝒫.𝒮. A matter not so much of obedience... 𝟙.𝟛.𝟛 To bring his puppet closer to humanity. 𝒫.𝒮. As of emotions x their ‘truthful manifestation’ by the creations [...]. This whole idea of returning Carlo has always been critical. The fervent mind is clouded by it, the die is cast... And the man’s ‹fatal trinity key› to understanding is hidden beneath his fixation.

The Creator is in no condition to admit the ‘family reunion’ is a misleading utopia: 𝟚.𝟙 The fellow is positively a lifeform with something individual inside... 𝟚.𝟚 But he cannot be the exact reflection of what he is de-facto not. 𝟚.�� To say nothing of the Carlo’s grievances x the KOP situation... It is not the gone flesh & blood’s smile. There is a moment when the Achilles Heel/the ‹intoxicating› pursuit of phantoms overcome the Genius, but...

Geppetto grows to love 𝓟 as well. ✒ Some especial innocence x relaxation take over when he is with the Ergo-eyed child. ✒ ‘Carlo’s organ beats long before 𝓟’s, but 𝓟’s Ꮼ starts pounding anew, dissimilarly. ✒ ‘True Ending’ is principally dedicated to the boy & his Ego: 𝟛.𝟙 There is no objective point to zoom in on Carlo when ‘RB: TALHEA’ exists. 𝟛.𝟚 Geppetto already apologizes to the gone child once in it. 𝒫.𝒮. I do not see a valid reason for him to: ✒ Redo this act and, on top of that ☑ rephrase the apology, change the tone, express other emotions. 𝟛.𝟛 The *contrast of Geppetto’s countenance ↬ ‘RO𝓟’ & ‘RB: TALHEA’ ↫ is also symbolic. ☐

What is 𝓟's Ego? Where are its roots? Currently, I depict it as... «the ‹conflict› of the Carlo's Ergo and the environment from which the 𝓟uppet's independent notion about human feelings-interactions-habits-etc. is absorbed, his systematic ways to ‹deal› with them are formed».

The long pause between the words, the never before seen shock, the comprehension. What is far more natural and illustrative in the eyes of the Creator: his puppet's rejection to do something, or its ability to cry? Why would his mind relentlessly insist that it is Carlo's response if the canonical purpose of the ending is doting the i's & crossing the t's? Why would the grown-up 𝓟uppet purse his lips ruefully if he is ‹never recognized› as a real boy by the technician?

In these unknown refined surroundings, the one representing your world has to disappear so that only at death's door, through the portion of further pure suffering ~ he could see, distinguish the you. The price is destined to be fierce...

Several chances to hear the ‹son› word addressed to others, the Dead or the Nameless... & only 𝟙 is the most truthful... because it is yours... Because in this concrete intimate bit, there are no ‹heats of the moment› behind it anymore, no ‹intoxication›, no ‹clouds›. Only you, your Father, and the dying light of the rosiest life you should have had together...

It is impossible to earnestly love a human who, both literally/metaphorically, has not inevitably filled you with the part of the being you would willingly aspire to ‹crack open› your own best self for. It is impossible to cleave to mere nothingness, an absolute illusion. Why live if you do not love, do not feel, do not have faith in anything? Pain... is a precious gift, too.

[ooooooooooop225]

Moonlit Obsidian

(Kenma x gn!reader)

[semi nsfw?]

A/n: Again, Pyre (see my last post). It's too good, and I kept writing. But this time, just Kenma.

(626 words)

Tw: toxic love

You spend your birthday alone, just like you do every year. A slice of yuzu matcha rare cheesecake and a half-cold can of Ito En jasmine tea because you can’t drink beer. In the moonlit park; it’s two in the morning, because you were so busy yesterday, the day of, that you didn’t have time for this ritual. Though it happens every time, even when your birthday falls on a weekend. You sit on the swing, your jacket and bag tossed on the ground a couple meters away. You hear something and look to the side. It’s Kenma. A slice of cake and a can of tea identical to yours. “I really hate going outside, especially when I could be gaming.” He scrunched his face in disgust. “You’re an exception; consider yourself lucky.” He says it, and his expression morphs in one gentle and kind, despite the knowing smirk plastered on his sharp feline features, beautiful as always. Perhaps even more so, basking under the heartless moonlight. Pools of raven-black hair spill over his shoulders, only the tips like Achille’s heel, left untouched by the river Styx, unchanged despite the years that have gone by, still shining as if bathed in ichor. He moves slowly, gracefully, to tuck a lock behind his ear, pierced with metal rings, white shimmers coruscating off their too-smooth surfaces. You want to see his handsome face mantle with the same feelings that enslave you, but his skin, white as snow, refuses to ripen, forever placid and ravishing like strawberry flowers stilled in their growth. He’s beguiling, exquisite, divine. Your cake forgotten, you can only think of tasting him. You want to slide your hands onto the pearly-velvet skin of his abdomen, trace its shaded lines, slip past his boxers, hold him so gently, so lovingly. You want him to beg, for more, always more, an unquenchable thirst awakened by your own insatiable hunger. You had zoned out, shit. Thinking about inappropriate things too. You turn to him, eyes pleading for him to plead in turn. He accedes, placing his food on the dirt, loving your palm brushing his jawline, the other holding the back of his head, fingers threaded through wisps of silk the colour of his credit card. You lean in and he does too. Soft lips embrace each other, as if long lost lovers connected by a bridge of milky stars, fate only pulling you closer to each other, promising to assuage your pain after being apart for so long.

You open your eyes, drinking in the sight of him, high on some nameless blue pill nudged past his eager lips, as if a rose, sheltered by stinging thorns warding off feral predators, but so red, so sweet underneath, the blood brought forth by the pricking barbs nothing compared to the ache of being allowed to savour a blossom so seductive, so bewitching. And you’re reeled in, a stupid, short-sighted fish, despairingly latching onto a hook so self-sabotaging, so suicidal. The hook of a cat’s sharpened claw, machiavellian to the point of no return. Manipulative, calculating, the beast had smiled, cloying, and caught you effortlessly, tossing you around like a toy, playing with this newfound trinket, so hopelessly in love that a single drop of the sugar-coated ambrosia called attention dug them another grave. But it wasn’t the cat’s fault: it was the only way he could love, the only way he knew to express such tender adoration. So the fish and the cat played, played for days, nights, years, as this murderous love ate at the both of them until all they had left was raw desire.

[connabeth]

Without thinking, top three Annabeth things, one song you associate with her, and your favorite picture of her. Later, decide what your answers would be with thinking. Is this an experiment or an invitation to talk about her? Yes

Top Three Annabeth Things (there’s no way i can actually rank stuff but random things off the top of my head): her clowning on the misogynist ghosts on her solo quest, being like ‘fuck it what could possibly go wrong?’ and fucking sticking her hand into a river of fire and pouring it down her throat, ‘was it hard?’

Song: ok alex recommended this one to me last night and it’s been on repeat since but achilles heel by j. maya

Fave picture: i assume u mean fanart? i love duda @windbyfire’s depictions of her. pretty sure one of her drawings was my bi awakening🥴

[tae-cup]

.hamartia. ‘Part 1,

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (f) x Taehyung (?)

Genre: Mafia!Au, Fluff, Angst (Mostly angst oopsies) I DO NOT CONDONE BEHAVIOR DISPLAYED IN THIS, PLEASE IT’S FICTION AND DON’T DO STUPID THINGS THANK YOU

Plot: Y/N is a skilled, well, torturer, though you don’t like to call yourself that; it makes what you do too real. When mafia boss Yoongi wants information or wants a hostage to suffer, you step in. However, one fateful day you are thrown Taehyung, another person who does your line of work. You need answers, he is determined not to give them to you. That’s when you try...a different approach, and Yoongi is not pleased.

Rating: TV-MA

WARNINGS: YO IF YOU’RE NOT COOL WITH SUBTLE BI AGENDAS THEN I’M SORRY THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU, Blood, torture, mafia things (ya know?), drugs alcohol, sadistic tendencies, a fundamentally flawed main character (I’m sorry i’m just writing myself pretty much), assault, harassment, stalking (not bad), romance (somehow), Maybe stockholm syndrome???

Word Count: 2.2k words

A/N: I feel like...Like I understand Yoongi and Taehyung. I understand them better than the other members because I relate to them. I just hope I portray them well enough. 

Other: 

Masterlist 

Prologue | Part 1 | Next | 

Hamartia

~ The word hamartia refers to a flaw or mistake that leads to a fictional character's downfall. Classical tragedies revolve around the main character's hamartia, the tragic flaw that sets a series of disastrous events in motion. Achilles' heel was his hamartia – his fatal flaw.

-

-

Soft lips meet yours in the dead of night. The kind yet dominant kiss stirred you from your sleep. The room was silent except the sound of the sheets moving as you readjusted. Your eyes fluttered open to be met with dark brown eyes peering into yours. Moonlight filtered through the curtained window. Yoongi’s pale hand reached out, breaking the kiss. He had rough hands that gently caressed your cheek. Then his fingers worked their way through your hair. A smile, kept only for you, flickered across his face. 

“I love you.” He whispered. You sleepily smiled back, reaching out a hand yourself. 

“I love you too, yoongi.” Your light breath grazing his face. He stared intently at you. “You won’t leave me, right?” Your voice was small.

“Of course not, why would I?” His words rocketed around your head. You could think of a million reasons why. 

“Well, for one, the work I do isn’t pretty-”

“Me too, no worries-” He started, cutting you off, but, in return, you cut him off again. You continued the last sentence. 

“-And I’m a cold monster, you know? I don’t have mercy and some days I wonder if I have a heart. I’m fucked up inside, Yoongi.” You poured your heart out, but you couldn’t cry. You had already accepted this part of yourself. You understood if he wanted to leave; you weren’t the same person he fell in love with. 

“You will never be a monster to me.” He stated simply, but his words felt like a a warm embrace. You wrapped your arms around his thin middle, tugging him closer; of course he obliged. 

“I’ve met so many people,” You breathed into his neck. “and none of them were quite like you.” You let out a little laugh. “Is it selfish to want you all to myself? To never want to see you in another’s embrace? To want to hold you forever?” You continued letting out your affirmations, your longing. 

“No. Because if that’s selfish, then I must be too.” His words fluttered across your neck. 

-

- 

You opened your eyes, a breath caught in your chest. Why did you have this memory now? Was it a memory at all, or just a dream? It had felt so real. You could still feel his warm breath on your neck, the tingling in your hands as you held him. Now the bed lay empty. The dream left a fuzzy feeling in your stomach. It made you feel sick. Sick with longing for someone to hold you, of course you fucked that up already. Usually it was nightmares that had you rocketing awake, inconsolable and shaking, at 4 A.M. This time, it had been a lovely dream with a sense of foreboding. It had you awaken at 6 A.M. 

Shit. You were late. You didn’t want your captive audience thinking that you weren’t coming today. No, you wanted their days to feel endless. When Yoongi loved you-past tense- you had even been kind to some of them in return for cooperation. Then you became a ruthless monster after... 

You frowned, thinking of that last night. The shouting that could be heard around the mansion, the pain. You ran your fingers through your hair, unable to focus. That dream really had you frazzled now. Why, after so many months, had this happened? 

There was a knock at the door. You suspected it to be the maid, though she had instructions to bring you a to-go box and leave it at the door in the mornings. You liked to start the festivities early. However, the knocking continued. You slipped on black jeans, a black shirt, and black leather jacket. Black hid blood well. You then grabbed your gloves and put them into your pocket. With the knocking going non-stop you shouted, “Oi! I’m coming jesus fucking-” 

You swung the door open only to be met with the amused smirk of Jimin. 

“Oh, you.” You mocked annoyance. 

“You didn’t arrive as early as usual, but I supposed you wanted your beauty sleep.” He teased. 

“Come on! Is getting five hours of sleep really ‘beauty sleep’.” You rolled your eyes. Though, you had to admit that usually it was four or even three hours of sleep. You usually couldn’t rest, the faces of those you’d...taken care of, haunting you at night. Sometimes, when you were getting in bed, you would feel like someone was watching you. Sometimes you’d see their faces in the mirror behind you, bloodied and angry. They haunted you everywhere you went, but now...now there was no one to calm you. Yoongi used to hold you until they went away. Now, you just stared right back at them, further imprinting them into your eyes. Now, you didn’t sleep. 

“The special guest is waiting for you. I woke him up.” Jimin eyed your outfit. All black was slick and put together. All black meant blood. Lots of blood. 

-

-

Jimin liked to wake up his guests with a simple punch or in some case, a cold bucket of water was good. He never really enjoyed his job, he was forced into it. Unlike you, he resisted it as much as possible. It was a situation where you couldn’t figure out who was weaker. The one who gave in to the job, or the one who wouldn’t even do the job. 

You stepped into the room, Jimin at close step behind you. Taehyung was soaked. His teeth chattered and he stared at you with dark eyes. You dragged a metal chair over, letting it screech an awful noise on the cement. You placed it in front of him and straddled the back. Your hands rested on the back of the chair, letting him see how well you took care of them. The news would have you think that your hands were dirty, and they were, but not physically. You had clean hands, pristine. Your nails were well taken care of, each a perfect shape. 

“Mr. Kim.” You drawled his last name as if it were disgusting. “Tell me about yourself.” A small smile made its way onto your lips. If Taehyung wasn’t tied to a chair and drenched in cold water right now, he would have taken it as something inviting and warm. The affect of your voice was soothing and warm, allowing a sense of comfort he indulged in without your knowledge. You had always had that voice, you didn’t try to change it. It helped get answers. You thought back a moment. Yoongi had wanted you to get any information out of him, but you had questions of your own and this freedom was unknown to you. 

The dark haired male glanced to the side, trying to quell his teeth chattering. It wasn’t fair. He was supposed to be scared of you, and that he was, but he was also intrigued. You could look so innocent if you wanted to, but he knew, just like him, that there was something dark. You see, Taehyung held a similar job to you in his rival gang. He wasn’t going to tell you that, though. If he did, you would probably be able to use his own torture methods against him. His ideology was “If it gave him pain, it must pain others.”. Being new to the business, of course he still flinched when handing out punishments. He knew that once he let you inside his head, you weren’t going to come out, and it would be a slippery slope to not let too many things be given away. 

“Not talking?” Your voice brought him out of his head. He watched you slowly pull on those leather gloves. The other male in the room just stood to the side and tried not to look at him. “Jimin.” You called to the man in the corner, not even looking at him. “Please hand me the lighter.” 

You didn’t need to look at your assistant’s face to know he had a horrified expression. 

“A-Already?” He hesitated, slowly picking up the lighter. 

“Well, I know his name, perhaps some more motivation will have our guest open up more.” You locked eyes with the man in front of you. “Don’t be scared, we’re just having a conversation, you and I. We’re just getting to know each other. Think of us as friends now.” You lied through your teeth. 

A low growl emitted from his throat. “Now why would I tell you anything?” His voice was deep and menacing. 

“Because, we’re friends.” You patted his knee with a sadistic smile gracing your face. You were handed the lighter by Jimin who had finally gotten the courage up to deliver the terrifying yet simple weapon. You haphazardly flicked the flame open and closed as you twirled it around. It was a trick you’d learned from Yoongi. 

“We are not friends.” He let his eyes pierce into yours. You patted his shoulder. 

“Intimidation gets you nowhere here, darling.” You flicked open the lighter and held it dangerously near his skin, letting him feel the flame. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t even flinch. It was as if he had done this a million times before. You righted yourself, now looking intriguingly at the man. “What kind of work do you do for your gang?” 

He hesitated, that half a second pause while he searched for a good answer. The one that immediately told you he was lying. Nevertheless, you pretended to buy his answer that he “was a low level drug supplier”. 

“What kind of drugs?” 

“Coke, mary jane, zannys.” He said nonchalantly. 

“Hm.” At least you had gotten him talking. Otherwise, this would have been very painful. You stood, deciding that was enough. He wasn’t giving you truthful answers and you didn’t want to waste your time on him any longer today. You walked over to the light switch and turned it off, setting your alarm for five hours. Jimin followed in step with you as you left the room. 

-

-

“I really think he won’t budge. We should try another tactic.” Jimin said, seeming genuinely concerned. 

“Tell me, Jimin, are you saying this out of genuine hope we can get more information, or to give our precious guest a break?” You asked, not even bothering to look up from your phone. 

“Well...”

“We go over this every time. My method works. Talking is a toy next to mental suffering and physical pain.” 

“But, it just doesn’t seem like we’ll get anywhere. I know people like him. He won’t budge, you just have to trust me.” Jimin pleaded. 

“Why are you so concerned?” You narrowed your eyes. Your head finally turned to look at him, tilting in a perplexed look. 

“I just, I think if I were him-”

“Do you want to be?” You snapped. Jimin fell silent, eyes opening wide. You were friends, yes, but you still held authority over him. You ran a hand down your face, seemingly exasperated. “I’ll think about it, Jiminie.” You said, hoping the nickname would erase his newfound fear. You had the bad habit of pushing people away, of scaring them to the point of running. That’s what happened with Yoongi after all. 

Jimin looked away, an apathetic expression on his face. “Of course.” He said, no emotion crossing his voice. 

“Right...” You felt like a monster. Just as Yoongi said months ago. “I...I need to check on some things.” 

As you hurried away, you mentally beat yourself up. Dammnit, Y/N, this is why you don’t let people close to you. They can hurt you. You and Jimin had been friends, right? Did you just fuck it up, just like everything else, by threatening him? He had just been trying to help. 

You opened the door to your bedroom and raced in, slamming the door shut. You fell against the wall, not sure if you felt sad, hurt, angry, or...nothing at all. There was a sinking pit in your stomach. You looked up, seeing your first victim. They all haunted you, but she did the most. She was so pretty...so kind. And then she met you. And you had a job to do. You believed that day, the one where you shot her point blank while her family watched, was the day your humanity died. That day, something came unhinged. Now you just sat helplessly. Her ghost should be angry. Instead you felt the hallucination stroking your hair. You knew no one was there. You knew you were slowly going insane. Isn’t that what makes everything better? Acknowledging the insanity, you sobbed. 

“I’m sorry.” You croaked to her. She just nodded her head. You didn’t want to sleep. You didn’t want to do anything. So instead, you stared ahead at the dark walls of your room. Maybe Jimin was right. Maybe marking Taehyung up would do nothing. Besides, you had to admit he was...beautiful. Even you weren’t so soulless as to mark that. An idea slunk into your mind like a leak during a rainy day. You could ignore it, but you knew it would cause issues later. 

Could it work? Would it work? There was only one way to find out...

-

-

Please please let me know if you want more the series!! I’m just hoping to get the ball rolling here! - love, Marria (That’s me!)

Previous | Next

[stfreds-arc]

@perdefinitio​ asked :  unusual hcs: 8, 12, 20, 26, 50 !! ( i really wanna know all of them but tried to restrict myself haha. ) / unusual hcs , not accepting !

       8 —— what do they sleep in ? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing ?

it’s safe to say that, at any time of day or night, you’ll find her sleeping in some combo of t-shirts and underwear or sweatpants. it mostly depends on the climate ( read: verse ), but she doesn’t own actual pajamas or nightwear or anything like it. in her main verse ( southern california ) it’s mostly a tank top and her underwear, that’s about it. in verses where she’s relocated to colder places ( i.e. uk ) it’s t-shirts and sweatpants, but never anything fancier than that. ( she’s also always barefoot which must NOT be nice for anyone sleeping with her and her frostbitten feet ).

      12 —— do they prefer sleeping alone or with someone else ?

this… this is a tricky one. if we ignore all her issues with intimacy and relationships for a second, however, fred 100 % prefers to sleep with someone else. the reasoning is simple — she DOESN’T sleep when she’s on her own, not really. most of the time she sleeps a couple hours a night, rides a wave of exhaustion until she’s worn herself down and falls into what constitutes more a coma than sleep for a whole day ( usually her day off ). when on her own, her sleep is UNEASY — it tends to be light, awaken by the tiniest noise, and when they don’t wake her it’s because she’s being haunted by nightmares ( one of them is recurring, and she dreads going to sleep because of it, too ). she can only really SLEEP when she’s with someone else she truly cares about. it doesn’t have to be someone she has romantic feelings for, it can be a close friend or a platonic connection of any kind, as long as she TRUSTS them to keep her safe, or to at least care about her enough that she can let go a little, unwind, relax.

      20 — what do they hate being teased about ? are they teased often ?

freddie only really has two big achilles’ heels ( aside from her whole past, obviously, but that’s nothing she’d just casually mention to anyone who wasn’t an extremely close connection ) : the first involves being called ANY sort of misogynistic slur, which drives her angry to the point of INSANITY but her anger is almost always aimed at herself, and from the outside might look closer to HEARTBREAK. ( ‘lighter’ ones aren’t that much of a problem: things like bitch make her laugh, she’d happily call herself that when joking or making a point — the ‘heavier’ ones however have brought her close to tears once or twice ). the second, the most commonly exploited, is her EDUCATION —— as she never really had one ( dropped out of high school on her last year, barely made it through the first years in the first place ) freddie’s often self-conscious about voicing her thoughts, opinions and beliefs as she’s afraid of coming off as  ‘ stupid ’ or ‘ ignorant ’. that’s why anyone makes fun of her for being uneducated her mood is utterly ruined and it turns into self-hatred. she’s good at hiding it, and usually, when made fun of, she’ll smile politely and go quiet, but deep down it’ll truly destroy her self esteem ( any more than it already destroyed itself tbh ). as for the latter question, i wouldn’t say she gets teased often on these matters ( she makes a good job of protecting herself from potentially exposing herself too much ). her friends do tease her, but for quirks she has no problem admitting — her reckless driving, her inability to cook, her being a cat lady, etc.

      26 — what are they most passionate about ? what could they debate about for hours ?

books, music and movies. it’s quite predictable, true, but she loves her stories passionately: though one might never say it ( she makes a good job of hiding it with sarcasm and all the usual barriers she puts up to keep herself SAFE ), freddie’s a huge ROMANTIC, which makes her extremely passionate in regards to certain types of media. she could go HOURS discussing a character’s motives in a particularly engaging novels, as well as get into heated arguments about entire discographies of her favorite bands. you’ll seldom see her burn with this much PASSION for anything other than stories with tragic characters and impossible happy endings, really.

      50 — where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years ?

ah, okay, this is a REALLY good one. because the thing is, in order to see herself in the future you need to have PLANS and fred just… doesn’t. or, better yet: she doesn’t think she’ll be allowed to. deep down she believes her PAST is gonna catch up with her for a reckoning, and that’ll mean either going back to work for victor in some capacity or probably die. right now she’s just happy with SURVIVING — she’d like to keep surviving a few years more, but the way she sees it right now, it’s unlikely. ( deep down she nurtures the dream of getting a family, maybe buying the bar off peter’s hands eventually, making a name for herself — these are fantasies she won’t let herself indulge in, however, as she’s firmly convinced they’ll just break her heart when they inevitably fall apart ).

[queen-ofsunflowers]

Turnabout Persona: Investigation Team Personas

I decided on the Investigation Team’s Personas a while ago. I’m talking like... last year. I revised them a bit recently, and I thought it’s about time that I put them out there and get people’s opinions on them. Like with the members of SEES, I’ll put the list under a cut just in case no one wants to be spoiled.

And like with SEES, there are canon Personas in this because of carry-over. This is an AU, but not everything changes.

In order of character Awakening/reveal in one person’s case:

PHOENIX WRIGHT:

ACHILLES: The Fool Arcana, Achilles is Phoenix’s Initial Persona. He came to his User’s aid in the TV World after being somewhat Awakened by Izanami on Phoenix’s first day in Kurain. Achilles was a hero in the Trojan War and one of the greatest Greek heroes. He was said to be invincible, with the exception of a small spot on his heel. This turned out to be his downfall, after he was struck there with an arrow by the Trojan Prince Paris.

PROMETHEUS: The World Arcana, and Phoenix’s Ultimate Persona. Achilles had regressed back into a Shadow following a spell from Izanami that took advantage of Phoenix’s repressed emotions over leaving Kurain. Once Phoenix accepted his Shadow, it was able to fully unlock its potential and evolve into it’s ultimate form. Prometheus was a Titan who’s credited with the creation of humanity. He defied the gods’ wishes by stealing fire for humans, and as punishment was chained to a rock where an eagle would pick out his liver each day. Eventually, he was set free by Heracles.

LARRY BUTZ:

PYGMALION: The Magician Arcana. Larry’s Initial Persona. Larry Awakened his Persona upon accepting his Shadow (with Phoenix’s help), and accepted his desire for self-gratification and excitement over the murders, as well as using the death of a girl he loved to have a chance to play hero. Pygmalion was a Greek sculpture who fell in love with a statute that he made. After praying to Aphrodite, his statue was granted life.

HEPHAESTUS: The Magician Arcana. Larry’s Ultimate Persona. He evolves following Larry’s resolution to live every day to the fullest, being true to himself in the process and promising to no longer live an unhappy lie. Hephaestus is the Greek god of blacksmiths, artisans and fire among other things. He was cast off of Mount Olympus by Hera at birth for not being born a “perfect child”, and served to forge all of the weapons of the gods. 

MAYA FEY:

KAGUYA: The Moon Arcana. Maya’s Initial Persona. Kaguya is born when Maya accepts her Shadow, and by extension, accepts her feelings towards Iris -- how she felt that Iris did all the hard work around the family’s inn while Maya received all the attention, and her cousin was worthless without her around. In Japanese folklore, Kaguya was found and raised by a bamboo cutter. She was pursued by many men, sending all on impossible tasks before returning to her home on the moon.

KIKURI-HIME: The Moon Arcana. Maya’s Ultimate Persona. Kaguya evolves in Kikuri-Hime upon Maya and Mia’s familial bond being restored, Maya accepting that (no matter how busy she may be) her sister does love her with all her heart, and that their family will keep growing to include new people (such as Phoenix, flustering him when she says this). Kikuri-Hime is a Shinto deity who mediated between Izanagi and Izanami during their confrontation in Yomi (the land of the dead) and relayed Izanami’s words to Izanagi.

IRIS FEY:

TSUNADE: The Priestess Arcana. Iris’s Initial Persona. Iris Awakened to Tsunade upon accepting her Shadow and the repressed feelings she held -- mainly anger and frustration. Iris felt chained down by her family, unable to escape her fate of being stuck in Kurain as they decided everything for her. Unable to stand up for herself, Iris started to see herself as a false princess waiting for a prince to rescue her, which would eventually give birth to her Shadow. Tsunade was the lover of Jiraiya, as well as a master of slug magic in Japanese folklore. According to some sources, she could summon snails.

AME-NO-UZUME: The Priestess Arcana. Iris’s Ultimate Persona. Tsunade evolved upon Iris’s resolve to stay in Kurain of her own free will. She realizes how much her family -- those who raised her and stood by her -- means to her, and her desire to stand with them and to protect them. Ame-No-Uzume is the Japanese goddess of the dawn in Shinto religion. She is said to have lured Amatarasu out of a cave that the latter had barricaded herself in.

DICK GUMSHOE:

ODYSSEUS: The Chariot Arcana. Gumshoe’s Initial Persona. Odysseus came to be following Gumshoe’s acceptance of his Shadow. The detective heavily attempted to repress his true self -- described as a “bumbling, gentle giant” in favor of confirming to a hard-boiled detective in order to avoid ridicule from his co-workers and the people in town, even if it meant sacrificing his feelings and the things he enjoyed. Odysseus was a Greek king and the protagonist of the Odyssey. He as resourceful and quick-witted. He’s famous for taking ten years to return home.

MARS: The Chariot Arcana. Gumshoe’s Ultimate Persona. Mars evolved from Odysseus when Gumshoe resolved to no longer hide who he was and to help people understand that there was no changing who he was, either. Mars is the Roman god of war and a guardian of agriculture. He is often equated to Ares, although Mars has a calmer personality than his Greek counterpart. The war Mars represents is seen as a method of securing peace rather than Ares’ pure violence.

MILES EDGEWORTH:

MIMIR: The Emperor Arcana. Miles’s Initial Persona. He was Awakened to upon Miles’s confronting his Shadow, which had manifested as a result of the boy not being able to express his inner self, donning multiple masks in order to please the public. Mimir is a figure in Norse mythology, known for his knowledge and wisdom. After being beheaded, Odin took the man’s severed head in order to seek council with it, as well as share information. Mimir is a strictly navigational Persona, although he shows potential for battle during the fight against Franziska’s Shadow.

ODIN: The Emperor Arcana. Miles’s Ultimate Persona. The second-to-last Persona to evolve, Odin took form following Miles accepting the many parts of himself as one person and resolving to make sure that everyone knows who he really is rather than just some fabricated personality. Odin is the chief god in Norse mythology, associated with wisdom, war and magic. He sacrificed an eye to gain his knowledge. While originally thought to be a navigation Persona, Odin is later revealed to be able to shift between being a Navigation Persona and a Battle Persona. It should also be worth noting that Odin was the Ultimate Persona of Gregory Edgeworth as well.

TEDDIE:

KINTOKI-DOUJI: The Star Arcana. Teddie’s Initial Persona. This Persona formed as the result of an abnormal Awakening. Despite being a Shadow himself, Teddie was able to manifest a Shadow of his own due to his fears about being empty and repressing his true nature. Although he does not remember the truth, he does eventually accept himself for who he is and vows to better himself because of it.

KAMUI: The Star Arcana. Teddie’s Ultimate Persona. He evolves following Teddie learning the truth about who he is, and resolving to do his best to do what he can to help his friends (who later become his family).

FRANZISKA VON KARMA:

BRUNHILD: The Strength Arcana. Franziska’s Initial Persona. She was Awakened to when Franziska accepted her Shadow Self -- a creature that had been born from her repressed feelings about not being able to succeed or be taken seriously due to her age and her gender. As a result of these emotions, she forced herself to grow up rather than enjoy her time as a child. Brunhild is a valkyrie in Norse legend. She is a powerful figure who brought the downfall of a great hero.

FREYA: The Strength Arcana. Franziska’s Ultimate Persona. Freya evolves from Brunhild upon Franziska accepting herself, admitting that she is still a child and that she enjoyed getting to be one around the rest of the Investigation Team. Freya is a Norse goddess of love, but as well as war and magic. She was responsible for those who lost battle and went to Folkvangr.

MIA FEY:

PERSEPHONE: Death Arcana. Mia Fey’s Ultimate Persona, having evolved from her former Persona fuses in order to save the members of SEES from Nyx about four years prior to the TV Murder case. Persephone is the wife of Hades and the Queen of the Underworld. After a deal was made with Demeter to save life, Persephone spends six months in the Underworld and six months on Earth.

[jgroffdaily]

Jonathan Groff first made audiences swoon as the dreamy intellectual Melchior Gabor in Spring Awakening in 2006. Since his Tony-nominated turn in the musical, the swooning has hardly subsided. Onscreen, he has portrayed the endearingly uppity Jesse St. James on Glee, gotten steamy in HBO’s Looking as San Francisco single Patrick Murray and is now solving crimes as FBI agent Holden Ford on Netflix’s Mindhunter. In Hamilton, he wowed audiences with his comedic prowess in the commanding King George role, landing him his second Tony nomination in 2016. His cartoon counterpart is the burly, blond beefcake Kristoff in the Disney Frozen franchise, about to get even bigger with the release of Frozen 2 on November 22. Nevertheless, for those who truly know Groff—Spring Awakening’s Tony-winning director Michael Mayer, for instance—the role of bespectacled nerd Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors is a perfect fit for the talented performer.

"[Michael Mayer] invited me to his final Rigoletto [performance] at The Met. This was back in May. At the first intermission, he said, 'What are you doing this fall?' I was like, 'I don’t know. I’m not doing anything,'" Groff told host Paul Wontorek on the latest episode of Show People. "He said, 'I think I have the next show that we’re going to work on because I know something about you that people don’t really know.'" Groff’s intrigue transformed into the opportunity to take on the role of Seymour in the off-Broadway revival of Little Shop of Horrors, currently landing laughs at the Westside Theatre. "It does feel like more of who I am," he said. "My friends that have come to see it are like, 'I feel like I’m actually seeing you onstage.'"

This staging of Howard Ashman and Alan Menken’s beloved, batty toe-tapper also stars Broadway vets Tammy Blanchard and Christian Borle as Audrey and Orin Scrivello D.D.S. respectively. Despite the starry casting, Mayer’s incarnation has no intentions of leaving its roots. "When Michael called us to do it, that was his pitch: he said, 'I love Little Shop of Horrors. We’re going to do it off-Broadway. It’s never moving to Broadway. I want us to do this show for the reason that we all used to do shows,'" Groff explained. "He assembled a team of people that wanted to celebrate the show and have fun, like we were doing summer stock. From the first day of rehearsal, it’s been that vibe. It might be the most fun I’ve ever had."

Those are big words from a Broadway favorite starring in a hit Netflix series that recently dropped its second season and gearing up for Frozen 2’s big screen premiere. Starring as the inquisitive Holden on Netflix’s Mindhunter has created a whole new fanbase for Groff. He was a huge hit with fellow Spring Awakening BFF Lea Michele’s husband Zandy Reich’s "straight dude" friends at their wedding: "With Looking, I had a lot of gay guys where I live in Chelsea coming up to me. I’ve had musical theater people. I’ve had teenage girls and moms. With Mindhunter, it’s a different type of person than I’m used to coming up and recognizing me. They’re like, 'Dude, are you Holden?'"

Though it isn’t likely that Frozen’s pint-sized fans dressed as Elsa and Anna will approach Groff with "Dude, are you Kristoff?" (though that would be incredible), everyone is sure to be talking about Frozen 2 this holiday season. True to form, Groff is already geeking out about the sisters’ next chapter: "It’s insanely moving. I took my mom to see an early screening of the movie on her birthday. We went to dinner afterwards. She took these tissues out of her bag, and they were Elsa and Anna tissues. I look at the tissues, and I was like, 'I will never look at these two women the same way after seeing that second movie.' It feels like Empire Strikes Back to me, as far as sequels go." A Star Wars reference to describe the new Frozen film? Yup: Seymour tracks.

Big things are happening for Groff, but not unlike Little Shop of Horrors, he too is someone who thrives in his roots creatively. "My ultimate dream is to turn my dad’s horse farm into an artist’s colony and turn the horse stalls into editing suites for my friends to edit a movie or a recording studio to record an album or a little rehearsal area to workshop their show or write their novel," he explained. "That land has always been a creative inspiration for me."

This is not to say the Lancaster native plans on leaving New York for good. The last time Groff guested on Show People, there were big takeaways: 1.) Uncontrollable laughter is his Achilles heel. 2.) He’s happiest when riding his bike to Broadway. Though he has shown incredible versatility throughout his career from rebellious Melchior to nerdy Seymour, he’s still—delightfully—the same Groff: "I was riding home on my bike last night thinking, 'Oh, I’m living my favorite version of my life right now,'" he mused. "If I could still be riding my bike at 80, then I would feel very lucky."

[starwarshyperdrive]

The Rise of Skywalker - adding my very important opinion to the internet.

Opinions are like **holes, everyone has one. Just that this isn’t true. People rarely substitute theirs with someoelse’s **hole. 

Looking back at some of my predictions I was wrong about some major plot points. I always said that the Bendemption and Reylo would make me walk out of the cinema. I thought it would be the two things that would ruin Star Wars for me and quite arrogantly assumed it’s ‘too stupid for Star Wars’. 

Now.. I stand corrected. To be honest, after the premiere I didn’t know what to think. Like everyone else I had this idea what the movie should be in my head. All the puzzle pieces I put together to a picture I liked. All the clues that lead my to my own personal conclusion. And like everyone else I saw the movie through this filter. 

I have to divert a bit to explain what I mean.

A Zen master was asked about Zen by a critical guest. Instead of answering he filled the guest’s teacup but did not stop pouring when the cup was full and the tea spilled out and ran over the table. 

"Stop! The cup is full!" said the guest.

"Exactly," said the Zen Master. "You are like this cup; you are full of ideas. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can't put anything in. Before I can teach you, you'll have to empty your cup."

Letting go of our expectations is hard. Very hard. There is comfort in the familiar. There is stubbornness in wanting to be right. The unknown is scary and we want to be in control of our own narrative. So I watched the movie again and saw it for what it is. I’m gonna be honest. I am a ‘true believer’ and apologist. I will find goodness in every bit. If you want to find mistakes you will find them. Psychologically we mostly make up our minds whether or not we’ll like the movie before we see it subconsciously. Then we just look for proof we’re right. I didn’t really want to see Joker. I expected it to be a pretentious attempt to make a Scorsese 70ies movie while lacking substance. And that’s exactly what I’ve got. Knowing what to expect in the 2nd viewing I was able to appreciate it more. There is so much depth and love for Star Wars in it that’s not apparent if you walk out of the 1st screening snubbed about what you don’t understand. I sound like a broken record when I say Star Wars is not a Comic Book movie, not everything has to be explained or tie into everything perfectly. Just look at the Original Trilogy. Nothing is 100% clear. Obi Wan is twisting the truth and nothing aligns perfectly. Star Wars is like a Greek myth. WHY did Thetis dip Achilles in the river Styx? What was her motivation? How could she forget to dip his heel? That’s stupid. That’s RUINING Greek mythology.   

I liked the movie, very much. I’m not even sure if it might not be my favorite sequel. Before I go into my thoughts here is what I didn’t like.

I liked it, yes, but that doesn’t keep me from agreeing that it seemed like a mash-up of fan-service. And with fan service I mean the kind of parents who have no idea would give their kids. ‘You like your Nintendos, right? The man at the shop said this is as good.’ It somehow felt like a panicked corporate decision to undo the backlash after The Last Jedi (a movie I have seen 13 times in the cinema and now consider to be the weakest installment since Attack of the Clones), so they mistook the loudest voices on the internet to be the most representative for all fans. So they had to include Bendemption and Reylo because ..fanfiction.. ?! And people have long asked for ‘bring back Legends’ so throw in a bit of that. And then we need Han Solo and the Emperor to save this trilogy after we made the mistake of not overseeing what these film makers actually do and have an overall idea for the trilogy and Rian Johnson wrote the story into a corner. The Last Jedi felt more like the 3rd movie of a trilogy, so what are we gonna do? Rey has to be SOMEONE, right? How about the emperor is suddenly interested in his bloodline for some reason despite the Sith never having cared about that (what is her midi-chlorian count?). 

But I can live with all of that and I have my explanations for everything. Palpatines son who must’ve been born after his face got all f**ked up. So was he a clone? Some sort of attempt to create life like Anakin? An artificially created baby like the Nazis did to get a super soldier, just to be able to possess his body and when he ran off and fled he was more interested in his ‘granddaughter’ because her body was even younger? Did the force skip a generation like some diseases.  Not everything has to be answered, but it’s fun to think about these things. I find this to be more Star Wars than the thought he had a wife all the time, which is absolutely not in character. 

The one thing I didn’t like was the super cringy, cheap jump-scare with monster teeth during the Dark Rey scene. We have seen this too often. It’s not ‘worthy of Star Wars’. It didn’t even look good in IT or any other movie. 

And the kiss? Would I have cut it out if I’d have something to say. YES DEFINITELY. Do I think it’s romantic and actually hints to romantic feelings? HELL NO! In my opinion their bond is different. Calling it romantic undermines their connection and ridicules something that could be very deep. Kylo/Ben even says it, they are a Dyad. Whatever that means, it surely doesn’t mean something straight-out of Twilight. I see the kiss as relief, burst of emotion. Not unlike a kiss a mother would give a child that has been missing or rescued from peril. Affection yes, romance no (aka ‘no tongue’). The beauty of it is that it’s ambiguous. If you want them to be in love, then you can think that for yourself, probably wondering why she is not really grieving.

I said I’d hate Bendemption and many people have stated that Ben should’ve survived. No offense but this is completely missing the point. The way his redemption is portrayed is absolutely beautiful. The shame and regret in Ben that leads him to the realization what he needs to do is what makes his who he is. He says it himself. He can’t go back to his mother. She sacrificed herself for him. He killed his father. Everything is lost for him. He made so many mistakes. But he can do the right thing for once by saving Rey. And this is why he disappears. This is why he became one with the force. If it he’d have survived there wouldn’t have been a redemption. Ben Solo was ‘weak and foolish’ which led him to the dark side. Ben Solo is flawed, the good in him understood that to kill the looming darkness he has to sacrifice himself. Like the Terminator at the end of Judgement day. This is what made the scene so powerful and mirrored Vader. Ironically you could say he finally became like Vader in the last moments of his life.

As for the emperor being alive. Why not. If you’re that sort of badass and considering that Maul and Vader both survived major injuries with the aid of the dark side of the force it’s not that unlikely. And here is something some people seem to miss. He is desperately looking for a new vessel to transfer his spirit into because he is a corpse. He is a corpse on life support. As hinted at in the movie and as explained in the visual dictionary he is being kept ‘alive’ by a mixture of medical aids and Sith alchemy. One might argue that ‘we never heard about Sith cultists and all that’ but that’s not entirely true. Even outside of the books, comics and what not there are things you can easily retcon to fit the narrative. Just look at the emperors advisors in Return of the Jedi. At the time of The Force Awakens there have been theories that Snoke is nothing but a puppet. I have used the Wizard of Oz comparison before. When we got to see him ‘in the flesh’ in The Last Jedi we were nothing the wiser. So that somehow adds up.

Chewie got a medal now? Well that just serves to show what I always say: no one in the cinematic universe cares a great deal about books and comics. A lot of fans are always so eager to see stuff from canon in the movies and get upset when there are contradictions (also see S-foil from Lukes X-wing being used as door) but I think it’s best to consider whatever is not in the movies as ‘soft canon’ and take it with a grain of salt. This might change in the future now that Star Wars is free of the shackles of the Skywalker saga and it;’s very likely they learned from the lack of consistency, but it also opens it up to mediocracy and weird stuff like the world between worlds and space whales.

If you only watched the movie once there are many things that might have slipped by you. Which is a shame. I think some f the outspoken critics will change their minds about the movie over time. A lot of the emotional backbone of the movie was in these tiny moments, such as the scene in which Rey feels that she won’t see Leia again and has to say good bye. It is in the open whether or not Leia feels it too and just taunts her by saying ‘tell me when you're back’.

Let me just say that Rose is absolutely cool in this. I always maintained the position that the backlash against her character was mostly based on the weak costume design that made her more like like a cosplayer. Now that she looked the part she was fantastic. It’s not about quantity. Her screen time was impactful. The argument that JJ cut her screen time in favor of his buddies is ridiculous and uninformed. Everyone had their specific parts to serve the story. According to the visual dictionary Dominic Monaghans character was a former teacher and served as the ‘Sith’ expert to explain why the Resistance wasn’t collectively going ‘umm wut?’ when they heard about Palpatine being back and all that. Greg Grunberg was the link to the fleet and Rose was at the heart of operations. I can't understand how this isn’t obvious. 

And in conclusion let’s talk about the impossible task to end a 9 part saga, with the additional challenge of having lost Carrie Fisher. Can you even imagine being in that predicament? How did JJ Abrams say yes to this? Well knowing that he’d get shit from all sides. RESPECT! It is a miracle the movie turned out the way it did. I liked it and if we look at the numbers of things I didn’t like in the other movies despite liking them it might become my favorite or close 2nd of the sequel trilogy over time. Only this blade tells.

[meteorstricken]

I wish you’d write a fic where.... you explore that idea you had about jenova cells getting into the Nibelheim and infecting the populace, chiefly Tifa. Or at least I’d like to here what you’d do with the idea!

Ah, my “Jenova’s in the water so everyone who lived there is infected” theory/ headcanon. 

Here’s a small snippet from what I’ve been planning for that. I’m not 100% satisfied with my grand, overarching idea for the the whole plot because it’s cheesy as hell as is, but I think this is an okay start. 

"Dormant Awakening": A Working Summary 

Tifa begins to experience a strong sense of wanderlust. She and Cloud decide to take a long vacation, writing it off as cabin fever. They travel all over, exploring the post-Meteorfall landscape--Mideel, Costa Del Sol, Wutai--but eventually find themselves face to face with their old hometown, having taken a detour on the way to the Golden Saucer. Both are mystified as to why they feel the need to be in Nibelheim--they both hate the place for all the painful memories there--but continue forth. Eventually, they stumble upon/ are contacted by someone (maybe Reeve?) with information about how the town as a whole was in fact used as part of the Jenova Project since its very inception. It's not long until both she and Cloud begin to suspect something's amiss with her desire to travel when just the idea of going home irritates her**.

They go home nonetheless, and contact the W.R.O. to report their suspicion that Reunion may have started anew.

(**Is Cloud impacted? Assume that he was thoroughly healed in the church at the end of AC? Or are they both caught up in the pull to Reunion?)

------

I kind of see Tifa taking an, “I know what this is so I’m not going anywhere,” attitude. At first, maybe she works extra hard to try to distract herself per canon habit. She’s much stronger-willed and more self-aware than Cloud was in the OG. “Puppet strings”, as it were, would be rather brittle on her. At the same time, it would be very much in her nature to hide it if things got worse, or anything unusual happened in the name of protecting those around her. She does have an unhealthy tendency of thinking that taking care of her own needs is “selfish” if it could burden anyone in the slightest, and that could turn into quite the Achilles’ heel in this scenario...  

[romana73]

REYLO VS HERCULES

Post written by ME. The animated gifs and pictures shown, however, AREN’T MINE and DON’T BELONG TO ME IN ANY WAY. Sorry for mistakes, but English isn’t my first language

Before going into this post’s subject, I wanted say a my OPINION: I notice these days some has returned to talk about Episode IX as if it should resume from "Star Wars. Episode VII. The Force Awakens" end by canceling "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi", acting as if that movie had never existed: Rey who adjusts Anakin's lightsaber, broken during fight between her and Kylo in throne room, Kylo who adjusts her old mask, which HIMSELF broke in elevator... a few days back to theory "Rey is Luke’s daughter, therefore, a hidden Skywalker, so romantic Reylo can’t be, ‘cause she and Kylo are relatives", thanks also to Kery Russell presence on set, coincidentally, a temporary leak identifies as "Luke’s secret love", in spite of Rey age 19 and Kylo Ren 29 years, make CHRONOLOGICALLY and MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR REY BEING DAUGHTER of LUKE and, therefore, a SKYWALKER. My recent post about WHY, in my opinion, Rey ISN’T a Skywalker is here:

https://romana73.tumblr.com/post/182247877011/why-rey-cant-be-a-skywalker-logic-reasoning-post

An advice: you FEEL your SOUL IN PEACE. TLJ EXISTS, it’s part of Star Wars saga. JJ. Abrams, whom I RESPECT, I sure he WON’T CANCEL TLJ and he won’t even pretend it has ever existed. Romantic Reylo and their connection EXIST, JJ Abrams invented them in TFA. Closed this parenthesis, let's go back to this post’s topic. This is third, perhaps fourth post, I write in response to those who argue Rey, good heroine, will never fall in love with Ben/Kylo Ren, ‘cause he’s VILLAN and NEVER allow GOOD heroine fall in love with story’s villain... then you see Hercules, a cartoon movie by Walt Disney in 1997...story is: Zeus son, day Hercules is born, Fates preaches to Hades, God of the Underworld and of the souls, brother of Zeus that, if Hercules will grow and fight, he will be finished. Hades sends his helpers Pain and Panic to make Hercules human so he can kill him. Two kidnap Hercules and take him to Earth, where they start to make him drink portion, but a human couple arrives and Pain and Panic can’t make Hercules drink whole portion, so he becomes human, but endowed with supernatural strength. Meanwhile, Zeus seeks Hercules for all of Creation, when he finds him, however, Hercules has become human and Zeus leaves him on earth, with human couple. Become a teenager, Hercules is kind, sunny and helps everyone. Unfortunately, he can’t control his strength and ends up disasters. Result is Hercules is marginalized by everyone and dubbed "destroyer". One day, after umpteenth disaster, inhabitants hunt Hercules from city. Adoptive parents reveal truth to Hercules and boy goes to Gods temple to question them. In response to his prayer, Zeus statue comes alive and reveals to Hercules he’s his father. Zeus reveals to boy, in order to return to be a God and rise on Olympus, however, he will have to become a REAL HERO on Earth. Zeus gives Pegasus, winged horse to Hercules and sends him to Philoctetes, a satyr, hero coach. At first, Philoctetes refuses to take Hercules as a pupil, but then he lets himself be convinced. Become an adult, one day, in the woods, Hercules meets beautiful Megara and saves her from a centaur who holds her captive. For Hercules it’s love at first sight, but Megara is linked to Hades to whom she sold her soul in order to save her man’s life who, afterwards, betrayed her and abandoned her. As soon as he learns Hercules is alive, Hades begins to plot against him, even using Megara herself...

“I am warning you. You keep that-that-that.. FREAK away from here!”

“FREAK! Yeah, go away!”

(Villagers against Hercules, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

“Son, you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you”

“But Pop, they're right. I-I AM A FREAK. I try to fit in, I really do. I just can't”

(Amphitryon and Hercules, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

In TFA, in a discussion, Leia Organa and Han Solo, remember to have give their son Ben Solo to Luke, away from home, ‘cause they were frightened by fact "there was too much VADER in him"

In TFA e in TLJ, Rey call Kylo Ren MONSTER:

[...]

“You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. You called me a MONSTER”

“You are a MONSTER”

“Yes, I AM”

(Rey and Ben Solo/Kylo Ren, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“Oh mighty Zeus, please, hear me and answer my prayer. I need to know: WHO AM I? WH- WHERE DO I BELONG?“

( Hercules to Zeus, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

“WHO ARE YOU?”

( Luke Skywalker to Rey, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“I need someone to show me my place in all of this”

( Rey to Luke Skywalker, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yusses". And every single one of those bums let me down flatter than a discus. None of them could go the distance. And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! But that forslugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom! He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I would train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars for everyone to see. And everyone would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right... Ah, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment”

“But I am different than those other guys, Phil! I can go the distance Come on, I'll show you”

(Philoctetes and Hercules, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

“I will never train another generation of Jedi”

(Luke Skywalker to Rey, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader [...] For many years, there was balance, and then I saw... Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. And in my hubris, I thought I could train him; I could pass on my strengths. Han was...Han was about it, but... Leia trusted me with her son. I took him, and a dozen students, and began a training temple. By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, it was too late [...] I went to confront him, and he turned on me. He must've thought I was dead. When I came to, the temple was burning. He had vanished with a handful of my students, and slaughtered the rest. Leia blamed Snoke, but... it was me. I failed. Because I was Luke Skywalker. Jedi Master. A legend”

“ [...] And you didn't fail Kylo. Kylo failed you. I won't”

( Luke Skywalker and Rey, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“I'm about to rearrange the Cosmos and the one schlemiel who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!”

(Hades about Hercules, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

“Skywalker lives! The seed of the Jedi Order lives! As long as he does... hope lives in the galaxy”

(Snoke about Luke, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

“See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness [...]”

(Hades to Megara, about Hercules, from 1997 “Hercules” animated movie)

“[...] A cur's weakness, properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool [...]”

(Snoke to Kylo Ren, from "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" movie)

In animated movie "Hercules", Ade is called SUPREME and MASTER from Megara. In the Star Wars TFA and TLJ movies, Snoke is FIRST ORDER SUPREME LEADER and Kylo Ren’s MASTER. Only at "Star Wars. Episode VIII. The Last Jedi" end, Kylo Ren becomes the Supreme Leader; In animated movie, Hercules often scoops Megara in his arms. In a touching scene, Hercules BRINGS Megara’s soul in his arms, putting it back into the girl's body:

In "Star Wars. Episode VII. The Force Awakens" movie, Kylo Ren asleep Rey and he SCOOP HER IN HIS ARMS:

[rainset]

Confessions of a Writer: Why I am Struggling to Write My Story—Uncrowned

*keep in mind it will be vague. This is for me, and me alone, to get off my chest*

It began back in my initial script draft. No doubt fun and I still remember it pretty fondly, but there was key mistakes I made during the make of these specific chapters.

It was a dispersion of characters that didn’t have much sense on how or why they’ve rejoined back together again. Then when I stepped back, found the whole experience of these chapters to be underwhelming.

It also had conflictions with at what points I wanted to reveal certain things that were, certainly hinted at, and the way it’s revealed.

More so, I was unhappy with the result of said reading experience. It was starting to show the rings of where I didn’t put as much thought into my work.

A lot of these mistakes are years old, I was still getting my footing in scripting. But because of these— I had a great awakening (so to speak) on what I wanted to improve upon. Because at that point, I didn’t feel like anything I wrote was anything truly good or beautiful. It was all too rushed.

Later on, now, I understand the point of having a rush draft, but back then— that was all I had. The look of an entire narrative was completely rushed with no good sense of visual direction. I ended up hating my own work for a good while.

It wasn’t till I branched outside of one kind of style did I ever began to see the potential I could have in my own works. I improved, and with that— I decided to create a better draft of my script to make for a better reading experience that’d I would be proud of to look back fondly on.

However, I got an Achilles heel. Be it my autism or just my obsessive tendency to details- subtext, nuance, foreshadowing— I struggled to take my best friend’s wise advice because of it. I have to work up to things in my story chronologically. Meaning: I can’t go ahead and write an entire volume of chapters way ahead of where I’m at due to the fact I may end up re-making the whole thing from what it lacked then to now.

This form of build up writing drags me down sometimes. I have a hard time getting past this urging nag to keep things in order. It HAS to be done a certain way— no exceptions.

But there is some. I can pre-plan, I can brain dump, rough draft, or write snippets of what it might be. I can experiment with script even.

I just can’t seem to make myself, EVER, script out at length large sums of ‘official’ script or story without me being agonized over how it isn’t in order of my relevant scripting/narrative, and/or the fact it is— will — probably be inaccurate or even cut content when I write up to it.

This is why I take forever on writing this piece. It is my first ‘great work’, it taught me everything on and about, writing, and I still have a long way to go.

Thank you.

[vizhi0n]

Sawney - Part 8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

YAAAY THE ANGST IS OVER

...

...

lol NOPE. Anywho, this chapter isn’t actually too tragic so I hope you enjoy. Just warnings for some mentions of suicide and other shit, and Negan’s potty mouth. If you want to be tagged or untagged, lemme know!

@castielwinchester22 @i-am-negan-trash @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @genevievedarcygrangerwriting @kijilinn @ladylorelitanyfanfiction @lucifers-trash-stash @superprincesspea @doyouhaveavacancy @hannibalssweaters @heartfulloffandoms @strangersangel9 @mypapawinchester @my-achilles--heel @crzcorgi @jasoncrouse @gremlinfuck @moonypetyr @embracetheapocalypsewithme @lovingzombiechaos @backseat-negan @mcnegan @melodicdolls @jeffreydeanneganstrash @darkangel66a @imjustmakingsuffupagain @itstotalyblue @vinylmadwoman @kellyn1604

“She’ll live,” Carson said. “I’m not sure how that’ll go once she wakes up.”

“Well that’s fucking optimistic, Doc.” 

“I’m just being realistic. Simon mentioned her behavior at this ‘Estate.’” Carson stopped, and Negan felt the sudden urge to punch the thin-faced man as hard as he could. He didn’t. “That isn’t the behavior of someone mentally sound. You’ll need to monitor her closely.” 

He’s right.

He glanced down at her. Like Negan, she’d escaped the Estate in tatters, bruised and bloodied. Carson brushed past him, but he didn’t move, watching Desa’s chest rise and fall with each steady breath. 

He heard the door open, and then close. Simon approached slowly and quietly, stopping by Negan’s side. Without hesitation, he spoke.

“That is one messed up lady.”

“We’re all fucking messed up, Simon.”

“No, I really mean…she’s crazy. She was crazy when she stabbed and bit Gavin. She was even crazier when she took a machine gun and mowed down all those lobotomized people living in her basement. Including her brother. Oh, and Lucille is in your bedroom…cleaned, practically good as new, courtesy of yours truly.” 

Negan said nothing. Desa’s eyelashes fluttered and she gave a small moan, but did not awaken. 

“Negan,” Simon said genuinely. “Look, I know…it’s been hard. This is just me looking at things as an outsider. I legitimately thing you might have some sort of...reverse Stockholm Syndrome going on with this girl. She hurt you—”

“She never once laid a hand on me. The one that fucking did — well, one of the ones that did — is in a fucking cell. But I don’t fucking want to do shit to her until Desa wakes up.”

“We let the other one  — Father — get away. I know you wanted him alive, too.”

“Yeah, I fucking did. And if I find him, I sure as shit know what I’m going to do to him. I have that shit all planned out, written the fuck down…one is better than none, though.”

“Do you think he’ll come for her?”

“For his wife? No. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about her. That asshole is in it for himself. Always has been.”

Simon nodded, shoving his hands into his pocket. “I’ll go prep the prisoner. Get her comfortable.”

“Good. I’ll be there in a few.”

Negan didn’t turn away from Desa. Simon left, the sound of the shutting door causing Desa’s eyelashes to flutter once more. This time, however, Negan found himself staring into her open orbs.

“Hey.”

“Fuckin’ hey,” Negan replied. He grabbed a chair, taking a seat. Desa very slowly turned her head, analyzing Negan as if she didn’t recognize him. He sucked in a breath, murmuring, “You’re okay. You’re at the Sanctuary. You’re safe.”

“Jack?”

“He’s not here.”

“No,” Desa let out a pitiful sigh. “No. I killed him. I killed all of them.”

Negan remained motionless, silent as Desa confessed. He knew about the cellar — Simon had told him. Everything must have gone to shit after his escape. 

“Fucking kill everyone but Mother and Father. They’re both fucking mine.”

Negan couldn’t have been any more clear. He’d intended on stringing them both up on the fence, putting them on display in case any of their people decided to seek vengeance. He’d only gotten half — Mother, beaten and bloodied, was waiting for him in a cell. Father had escaped. 

“It’s over. What’s done is fucking done, Desa. You’re not going back to that place. It’s gone.” 

“Why did you come back for me?”

“Because we had the numbers. Because I was fucking selfish and wanted Mother and Father delivered to me on a silver fucking platter, so I could make the rest of their lives even more of a living hell than it already was,” Negan said honestly. “And I needed to return the fucking favor. You got me the fuck out, I got you the fuck out.”

“You didn’t let me die. I was weak, I’m a monster — why didn’t you just let me die?”

“It would have been a fucking waste. You’re not a monster and you sure as fuck ain’t weak,” Negan scoffed. “I’m not a fucking wasteful man.”

“You should be. Some things aren’t worth it,” Desa croaked. She made a move to sit up, but stopped, flopping back onto onto the mattress. “I couldn’t let Jack live. I couldn’t let any of them live, even though they weren’t…they weren’t there. They were just as good as the biters. We treated them like cattle, Negan. During the winter we…we were short on food. We were running out. Father and Mason and the others went down there, slaughtered some,” Desa bit her bottom lip, trembling. Her eyes were red-rimmed, brimming with tears. “They brought them up, started a fire…passed out the flesh and we all ate it. We had to. They’d kill us if we refused. That was when I took Jack upstairs and I put a gun against his head because I’d rather him and I be dead—”

“You couldn’t fucking do it.” 

“I was weak, Negan. I should have pulled the trigger then. Let him go to Heaven with Mom and Dad and our sister. I would have stayed as punishment. Hell is too lenient of a sentence for me. I am a monster.”

“You are not. I don’t want to hear this shit anymore,” Negan shot up, and Desa flinched. Gentler, he said, “I’m giving you another chance to do it fucking right. What you were back there? It’s over. I have Mother in a cell right fucking now, and we’re going to end it.”

“You brought Mother here?”

“Yeah. And I’m going to have a long, long fucking talk with her.”

Desa swung her legs over the side of the cot, wincing. Negan steadied her, his own wounds straining from the excess movement. Carson had berated him about overtaxing his body, but Negan had ignored him. There was too much shit to do. Too much to get ready. A team was on it’s way to the remnants of the Estate to pick up anything of interest — Negan hoped his jacket would be amongst the finds. And Father’s corpse, though Negan knew that was unlikely. 

“I’ll leave when I recover. I don’t want to be a bother—”

“Really? Where the fuck will you go?” Negan raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t fucking bring you back here just to let you walk away. No. I don’t care what shit you did in the past. You have a home here.”

“I didn’t know you enjoyed my company much,” Desa gave a cheeky grin, and Negan ran fingers across his stubble, hiding his smile.

“Don’t get too full of your fucking self.”

“I’m incapable,” Desa said. “I have such a low opinion of me already. But I appreciate your concern.”

Desa dipped his head. God this girl…he rolled his shoulders, stepping closer. He’d etched the feel of her lips into his mind. Soft, full and supple. None of his wives had come close to comparing. 

When he reached for her, however, she flinched. It was a reflex he’d noticed before, and for he proceeded, he said, “It’s okay. Can I touch you?”

“I should be asking you that.”

“I’m fine,” Negan lied. “It’s…it’s fucking different than that. I won’t ever be able to do the shit that I did before if he’s out there. But this is a fucking start, you know?”

“You can touch me.”

Negan let out a breath, once again kissing her. It was quicker, more reserved. Kissing her here felt different than doing it outside, in some unknown building. It didn’t feel any less right, but it felt…risky. Dangerous. Confusing. 

You just want pussy. You haven’t even talked to any of your wives since you got back. Haven’t even fucked them, touched them…

You know why, dipshit.

“You haven’t introduced me to everyone,” Desa’s eyes fluttered, and she smiled.

“Most of them pretty much know you. You made a strong fucking first impression the first time you were here,” Negan shrugged. Desa gave a groan of embarrassment, covering her face with her hands. “At least you didn’t fucking kill anybody.”

“That’s becoming my signature, isn’t it? Killing people. Some days I think it’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“You have a chance now to prove otherwise. When you recover, I’m fucking putting you on lookout duty.”

“No scavenging? What, scared I’m going to run off?”

“No. You fucking like me to much to run the fuck off,” Negan gave his most charming smile, trying to hide what he knew was probably bullshit. Her opinion of him would, he knew, once she got a feel for how he ran things. And it made him a bit sad. “You’re a fucking outsider to everyone else but me. You’ll have to ease your way into things.”

“I can do that. Guard duty doesn’t sound to hard. I’d still like to get a feel of the place, though. Can I have a tour, so I don’t end up stumbling somewhere I’m not welcome?”

Negan gulped, scratching the back of his neck. A tour meant that she’d see where he lived — in the parlor. With his wives.

The thought hadn’t even crossed Negan’s mind. He’d been so preoccupied with his own sickly sated desire for lust — courtesy of that serial fucking rapist, Father — that he hadn’t considered just how Desa would react to seeing his harem of women. Almost instinctually, he’d begun to consider asking Desa to marry him. The sensible part of him thought better of it. Despite his obvious attraction to her, he’d never lay a hand on Desa. 

Another part of him knew that there was no way he’d be able to hide his polyamorous relationship from her. She was smart, curious, and it would only take a simple word from Dwight or some worker for his cover to be blown. 

“Absolutely.”

“And I want it to be you. I don’t want Simon or Dwight to show me around. I just…want you.”

“None of them will fucking hurt you—”

“I know, but they’re not you. I’ll learn how to do things on my own…I just…I need some time.”

“Fine. Fine,” Negan sighed, ducking his head. Lowering his voice, he decided that telling her about his not-so-traditional marriage couldn’t wait. He wanted her to be prepared. The last thing he wanted was for her to somehow thing of…him. “There are some things I need to fucking tell you.”