#I consumed nothing but the genre as a kid and I'm getting back into it and realising just how much it means to me

[pestercide]

I think I was destined to create a fantasy series/story,, I always gravitated towards the genre and it all started with the immense dragon fixation I had as a kid

[kaysungshine]

𝓛𝓸𝓯𝓲 𝓛𝓾𝓼𝓽 ♡

{ Pairing } - Producer.bf!Jisung x afab.gf!reader

{ Genre } - NSFW; s/f/d(dark)*, PWP, established relationship

{ Synopsis } - Your boyfriend doesn't know any other method of stress relief, other than creating music. He can get so consumed by it, it can become the stressor. So you decide to present him with a new method. That's how you found yourself walking down the street in nothing but lingerie and a long coat.

{ WC } - 2.9k

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, *forced orgasm/slight dubcon if you squint, everything is consensual but there is begging for more when reader might be at her limit so that's why I'm including dubcon (for those who may find it triggering)*, use of pet names (baby, angel, mine, my love, good girl & Ji), very lowkey needy/soft dom & romantic sub dynamic, worshipping reader, oral (f. recieving), squirting, overstimulation, unprotected piv (do as I say & not as I write, pee after sex too!), creampie, cum feeding & eating, fingers in mouth, pussy worship, I may just have gotten carried away with oral fixations okay? FORGIVE ME.

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - I originally was going to post a Hyunjin oneshot next, but I wanted to finish this one in time for Jiji's birthday! It's 2 am on the 14th where I am heheh. Hopefully you all like it. Han producing music will always be hot asf for me personally lmao. Barely proofread.

The air was cool, seeping underneath your long wool coat. In any other circumstance, on a late fall night, the coat would be enough to keep the chill out. Today however, it wouldn't. But you still kept walking, determined to make it to Jisungs studio. 

You focused on the clicking of the heels on the boots you wore. And the sound of the wind picking up, signalling a blustery night ahead. The small sounds calm your nerves. 

You were anxious about Jisung's reaction, he was in one of his moods again. You understand, you truly do. Juggling everything he has to on his plate, it was no easy feat. There were times he'd just let that dark veil take over, and shut everyone out without even meaning to. 

You knew he was in that state again when you hadn't seen or heard from him in three days. It wasn't for lack of effort on your end either. Every phone call sent to voicemail, every text sent by you was met with the same response;

'At the studio, I'll text you after, angel'.

You knew it was time for intervention when Chan texted you that he was only coming home, at 2 in the morning no less, to shower and change. No eating, no resting, just back to the studio afterwards.

This had happened twice before in the almost year you've been dating. Each time you remember talking with him afterwards, he always said the same thing;

'making music is my stress relief.'

That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that he is also a workaholic. One who easily gets lost in the creative space he has built a career off of. And once that diligence sets in, it's hard to shake off. 

So here you are, ready to try a new approach. Ready to offer a new kind of relief. An alternative. 

You and Jisungs sex life was far from boring. Far from infrequent, you'd say too. But it surely was more... monotonous. You'd never complain about it, and neither would he. There was nothing wrong with it. It just happened at the 'perfect' times in your relationship. 

Before bed, after date nights, on monthly anniversaries, to express massive amounts of love, etc. 

It was never to celebrate happiness, calm anger, or comfort sadness. Never to relieve stress. 

You were determined to change that. There was no reason you could not help him in any way you could. And in this aspect, you knew you could. 

Still, you were nervous. This would be new, he never did well with new. 

Your footsteps stopped, leaving only the sound of the wind in your ears. Until you pressed your badge against the card reader, listening to the beeps, to the gears unlock. 

Once inside the lobby, the clinking of your heels against the vinyl tile filled your ears. Each step matches the thumping in your heart, you find yourself speed walking.

 You smiled and gave a little wave to the staff in the lobby, and they returned it. 

In the elevator, the sound of its melodic music filled your ears next. The whirring background noise the machinery made, stopped, as you reached your desired floor. 

There was silence when you stepped off. The flooring is carpeted now, and soundproof rooms lined the hallway leaving the night quiet. 

You took a deep breath and made your way to the door you knew was your boyfriend's. It was unlocked, thankfully. 

You let yourself in, seeing the silhouette of your boyfriends back facing the door in the blue lighting. 

He was all about ambiance in this facet of life, having LED's lining the ceiling. The only source of light in the room, besides the glowing screens of his monitors. 

He was sat in his chair, headphones on, hood up, head nodding in tandem with his fingers tapping. 

You took the opportunity to slide your boots off. Opting to keep your coat on, you brushed your hair over one shoulder. You took your badge from around your neck, and tossed it on the leather couch that was against the wall. 

Padding your way over to him, you place your hand on his shoulder lightly. He tenses under your touch, and turns his head. He's frowning when he first faces you, eyebrow furrowed together. 

When he sees you though, he softens. The corners of his mouth slightly upturning to a small smile. 

"Baby..." He whispers, sliding his head phones off. Soft lofi music is filling the room from them. 

He grabs your hand off his shoulder, bringing it to his lips. He's pressing soft kisses to your palm, and placing it on his cheek. 

"It's late my angel, why are you here?" He says in a husky voice with more volume. 

Your heart flutters at his gentleness, and you bend down to press your own lips to the top of his head. A musky, yet spicy vanilla scent fills your nostrils. His scent. 

"I'm here to help you baby." You murmur to him softly. 

That caught his attention. He fully swivelled around to face you, taking both of your hands in his. He gazed up into your eyes, a curious look on his face. 

You smiled down on him, feeling nothing but love for this man. You'd relax him in any way you can. You placed a hand on each side of his face, bending down again. No more words were said as you kissed him. As your hands slid down his neck, his found themselves on yours, pulling you closer to him. Matching your eagerness.

You let your hands fully slide off him, and tilted your head to deepen the kiss. Your trembling fingers were working the buttons on your coat. One by one, releasing the fabric from your bare skin. 

You stood up, letting the coat fall from your shoulders.

Jisung lets out a soft gasp, and licks his lips. 

Exposed to him, was his favorite lingerie you owned. It was a bra and panty set, satin and lace. Revealing. 

All white. 

Your boyfriends favorite part. He always said that the contrast against your melanated skin was a work of art. He joked about commissioning Hyunjin, if he didn't have to see you essentially naked.

So here you stood before him, presenting yourself to him. Silently willing him to do as he pleases. To take your body and use you to decompress. You were too nervous to say it.

He traces the swell of your breast with a finger, curving around the delicate lace. It's a simple touch, but it still sends a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps blooming on your skin. 

"So sexy." He mumbles, eyes roving your whole body. 

He stands up, kissing you desperately, and walking you back to the couch. Your knees hit the back of it, and you're forced to sit. Lips ripping away from his, panting at the desire in his eyes. 

All your nerves were gone. New or not, it would never change the fact that Jisung craved you as much as you craved him. 

He held himself up with his hands on the back of the couch, and hovered above you for a moment looking you in the eyes. 

Then he was sinking to the ground, on his knees, between your legs. His hands smooth over your thighs, making them pliant with soft kisses, before he spreads them open. Your pussy is glistening behind the lace, and he licks his lips again. 

His hand glides from your thigh, to your heat. Thumb brushing against that sensitive bud, the friction eliciting a whine from you. 

His eyes snap up to you, and he holds your gaze as his tongue licks a stripe up your clothed core. The tip of it flicking deliciously against your sensitive clit. 

"Mmmm..." He groaned at the taste of you, "All for me?"

You moan at his tongue swiping against you again, and again, "All for you, my love." 

His fingers hook underneath the band of your underwear, and he peels them off you. He's whimpering, watching as strings of your arousal stick to them. The cool air is hitting your sex, before puffs of hot air from his mouth is. And you're shivering again at the sensation. 

A gasp escapes you when his tongue slides between your folds. Lapping up your juices, and suckling at that bundle of nerves. You listen to the wet sounds his mouth is making against you, along with the broken melody coming from his head set. You get lost in it. 

Your hand finds his hair, and you're grinding against his mouth. He's whimpering and moaning with you, one hand palming at his bulge. The other has fingers teasing your entrance. 

You let out a loud moan when two fingers push into you, and your grasp on his hair loosens. He takes the opportunity to get air, panting, mouth hanging open. His cheeks, chin and lips all shine in the dull blue light. 

His fingers continue to pump into you as he watches your face contort for him. He's smiling with lidded eyes, basking in the fact that he's making you feel so good. 

"Ji..." You moan, needing more.

"My beautiful baby, let me worship you a little longer." And he's diving back down.

His tongue focuses on your clit, and fingers coaxing that gummy spot inside you. He's pulling moan after moan from you, making out with your lower lips, bringing you closer to the edge. Your thighs start trembling around his head, and he has to grip the fleshy part of one of them to stop you from squeezing him before he's finished. 

You're spilling over the edge, body alight and your release coating his fingers, and face. He's lapping up every little bit, determined to taste your pleasure on his tongue. Only when you start to whine from constant overstimulation does he stop. 

He's kissing his way up to your lips, leaving a wet trail behind him that you couldn't bring yourself to care about. 

You're not sure when he managed to discard his pants and boxers, but you feel his hard, bare length pressing against your inner thigh. 

He's rubbing his member against your pussy now, letting your slick and his saliva cover him. Kissing your neck as he's rocking against you, he whispers, "Angel, do you have another one for me?"

Of course you did, you knew you did. You needed to feel him, you needed to please him. So you started nodding fervently, eyes rolling in the back of your head when he sucked lightly near your ear and jaw. 

He had a grasp of his cock now, dragging the head through your folds with added pressure. Each squelch of your juices sounds like music to your ears, anticipation building in your body.

"'Gonna make you feel s'good." He's whining into your neck. 

He has your legs around him now, as he fills you slowly, both of you savoring the sensations it brings. Your pussy spasms around him, and it has him grunting. 

"Always feel so good squeezin' me..." He mumbled, letting you adjust, "...exactly what I needed..." 

Then he was pumping into you, and you felt it. All the frustrations he was holding onto, all the stress, all the vexation. He was translating it into the energy he used to pleasure you. Letting go of it all. 

You couldn't hear the soft lofi music coming from his head set anymore, instead the slapping of skin and heavy breathing mixed with moans were filling the room. You'd never be more thankful for a soundproof space. Neither of you were holding back. 

Your moans only being interrupted by quiet curses, and his being peppered in between praises of how good you feel for him. He made it known he was chasing your high before his, begging you to cum for him. 

"Please angel," he whispers against your lips, "need to feel you cumming on my cock."

His pace became quicker as he kissed you, and his hand slithered down to play with your clit. Your back arched off the couch at that, angling him deeper inside you. He groaned, and his thrusts faltered for a second indicating he was close. 

Regardless he was determined to finish you, and his tone grew more demanding, "Be a good girl... cum for me, angel."

And that was all your body and mind needed to let go, legs locking around him and body shaking. Your hands slid under his hoodie, and nails dug into his back. It was the kind of intense orgasm, that your moan got stuck in your throat, instead a rough growl coming out. 

You sounded absolutely feral for him, and you were. 

That was what pushed him over the edge, a slew of curses leaving his mouth as his hips stuttered. With a final harsh thrust, he cums deep inside you. All of the negativity has dispersed from his body, and he collapsed back to his knees. 

You're both panting, trying to catch your breath. You jolt when you feel his fingers in your folds, over sensitivity taking over yet again. He's spreading you open, hypnotized by the way his cum is drooling out of you. 

"So perfect, fuck." He says as he drags his finger through it. 

He's bringing it up to your lips, and your mouth opens instinctively. You're sucking his finger into your mouth, his essence salty but familiar on your tongue. 

His eyes are locked to yours as you work his finger, licking it clean. He slips a second finger in your mouth, letting you cover them in your saliva before he dips back down for a taste himself. 

You're whining around his fingers when his tongue glides against your clit, and your hips try to retract into the couch. Quickly, he has both hands on your hips, securing you in place so he can continue tasting you. 

"We taste so good together, my love..." He's mumbling against you. 

His words will never fail to coax submission out of you.

Your hand flies back to his hair, as good as it feels you're trying to pull him away. He's just burying his face deeper, tongue dipping into your entrance to make sure he's tasting everything. 

"Ji... s'too much... I can't-" You're pleading, even though you feel yourself succumbing to the overwhelming brushes of his tongue.

He hisses when you finally succeed in pulling him off you, "Please angel," He's begging again, "Just one more. I know you have one more for me." 

"Fuck, Ji, I-" 

He silences you with his tongue flat against you, another lick up to your clit "Please, need to hear you cumming one more time for me." He whines and starts leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your pussy. 

You always knew he was more of a giver. That even though it was you who had cum twice, and he only once. He preferred it that way. Even if he was the one needing the release more, he thrived more on your pleasure.

"Just be gentl-" You try to say, but cut yourself off with a groan. 

He's eagerly slurping at your core. Lost in the moment, all he has is your pussy on his mind now. Messily licking and lapping at every inch. He's shaking his head and moaning into it, keeping you pinned in place by your hips. 

You feel another orgasm starting to build quickly, clenching around nothing. He risks you bucking your hips roughly into his face, and takes a hand off your hip. He's pushing two fingers into you yet again, and you're seeing stars. 

His fingers curl, and his lips close around your clit, sucking lightly. You feel your release slip away from you, and your cumming on his face again. Yelling his name. He only grows more determined.

He leans back so he can watch the beautiful, writhing, mess he reduced you to. The thumb of his other hand is replacing his mouth, continuously flicking your bud. He doesn't slow his movements as you ride out your orgasm, instead picking them up. 

Your world turns white, and you feel yourself squirt on his hands. He's watching you in awe, whispering more praise for you as your juices spray over him. 

"So fucking sexy, my good girl."

"That's it, let go for me, let it all go."

"Knew you had one more in you, all for me."

"My perfect angel."

It's when you start to slip into that floaty space that he finally stops. He doesn't want you too gone, he's limited in the care he can provide here.

He's positioning you to lay on the couch, and he's laying behind you. You're both wet and sticky, and heaving for air. Yet, it's blissful. 

You lay there for what could've been minutes or an hour, you weren't sure. You were content in each other's touch. Your arm reaches back to caress his head, fingers combing through his hair. He's humming. 

"I love you." You finally murmur. 

"I love you more, angel. Thank you for this." He says, and kisses your shoulder. 

"You caught on quickly to my idea." You giggled.

He laughed with you, "I caught on halfway through it, actually. I was just beside myself with desire for you." 

You blushed at that, and you were thankful he couldn't see it. 

"I mean you showed up in my favorite set..." He whispers and starts toying with the lace on your bra, his finger slipping underneath to flick your nipple, "In ONLY my favorite set. How could I not show you how much I admire you." 

You felt his length harden against you again, and he rolled his hips slowly as he gripped your hip. 

You knew the night was far from over. 

As for how you were both going to escape and clean up? Well that was a problem for future you. 

Taglist:

@eczlipse @sailor--sun @maisyyyyyy @jupire @prettiichocolateprincess

@meowmeowminnie @joyofbebbanburg @adieu-lisette @sleeping-beau-tay @staytinyluv

@lookitsjess @majorlymismanaged @kpopsstuffs @helloimacalumgirl @bbokarimenu

@bubblepop-stay @mauvemelon @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

@adieu-lisette @loud-minhoe @juwire @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@nebugalaxy @wowitsafemale

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking (ie; replying/commenting/reblogging). Although I will always appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism! I am but a sensitive soul.

[arcanesea]

give up

PAIRING: jeon wonwoo x reader GENRE: hurt-comfort, burned-out gifted kid WC: 501 WARNING: reader is heavily demotivated, violent self-thoughts

"What if I just give up?" You ask nonchalantly. The book in your hands long forgotten because you can't get a single word into your head.

"That doesn't sound like you at all, though," Wonwoo commented, earning a sigh from you.

"What am I like?" you ask him then. Slipping your thumb to the page you last read, holding it in one hand. You look up to him, waiting for his response.

"I don't know, darling. What do you want to be like?" he asks back. He places his hand on your cheek, caressing it with such tenderness that makes you want to ramble all day and night to him. "You know I'm here if you want to talk, right?"

You know. Hell, he's the reason why you have the courage to explore your emotions, navigating the bubbling joy and boiling rage you experience day by day. He's always careful with his words. He knows all the right things to say at the right time.

"I don't know," you sighed again, sitting down now. What do you want to be like? Has your academic achievement been enough? Moreover, is it worth all the sleepless nights, and nauseating afternoons you had to embrace in order to get those striking A's? Or is it finally taking its toll on you when you're one step from graduating? Perfectionism like a barbed wire, tight around your throat.

Wonwoo take your hand in his. He knows everything. About the way you read everything but understand nothing at the same time, about your frustration of building a flawless method for your research, about your restless consultation. He's always ready to lend a hand if you need one, but most of the time, you only require his shoulder to cry on.

"Want to know what I think?" he asks you, tracing circles on the back of your hand. You nodded, tears are threatening to spill if you ever did as much as blink. "I think you did great so far."

You open your mouth to protest but fall back to silence. Nothing works on you anymore, you wish his word would change that.

"I also think that it's okay if you haven't figured it out yet, after all, it's a tough process. I would tell you that everyone has their own timing, but you also need to know that you don't have forever. For this one specific thing, you don't have forever. If you want to try other stuff, if you want to know what you truly love doing in life, you don't have forever to figure this one out."

And you hate how much he's right about that. You can't juggle everything in one timeline or you'll burst into flames, consumed by your own greed for achievements.

Wonwoo called your name, swiping a tear that finally escaped.

"But I hope it eases you to know that I will spend my forever walking beside you, holding your hand. You don't have to figure it all out by yourself."

a/n. this is very much self-insert idk what else to tell you bcs i be doing everything except my thesis:)

[accihoe]

Come Here And Let Me Hold You

I received horrible gut wrenching news yesterday and I've tried multiple different fanfics of the Metallimen with different scenarios and genres, but they just ain't working. So here's my first Dave fic 😘

Pairing: Dave Mustaine x fem!reader

Summary: After receiving horrible news, Dave just needs someone to hold him.

Warnings: me. Jokes. Mentions of alcohol abuse? One swear word. Don't cuss kids

A/n: different story, same drill, love ya strangers of the freak net

Written in his pov, which I don't do, so, I apologize if it's eh.

Xxxx

They kicked me out, no warning whatsoever. I pitched, woken up rudely only to be told off and sent away. Apparently, it's my drinking problem, which I'll admit I have, but so do they.

I kept my tears far away from my waterline, but I knew my skin was definitely flushed, like it was every time I was trying not to cry. I knew there would only be one place to find solace and comfort and headed straight there. After I got off the one way.

And no, surprisingly, not the bar. As soon as she opened the door, I let the tears fall.

"Oh Davie, oh honey, what happened?"

She asked gently, stepping aside to let me in. She stumbled back from the amount of force I used to fall into her warmth. But her arms wrapped around my shoulders, not even a moment later. My shoulders shook with every sob as I clung to her, fists balled into her Thin Lizzy shirt.

"Baby whats 'a matter?"

She sounded panicked. I pulled back, staring at her. I felt my lip quiver. She reached out, wiping my cheeks.

"Dave, sweetheart, talk to me. Please tell me what's wrong."

It took just that for me to let it all out, and more.

"I.. they, everything I've worked for, gone!"

"Baby, what?"

She whispered.

"They fired me, Y/N/N, from the band! No warning, no nothing!"

Her brows furrowed in confusion and anger, the motherly anger I saw on her when she was urged to protect her loved ones.

"A-and now, I'm left with nothing. They said it was because of my drinking habit, but they all drink too! I can't understand why-"

A hiccup interrupted me, and I saw her fight to remain stoic and not smile at what she presumably found cute. That fueled my anger. She wanted to laugh at me now? I narrowed my eyes and pushed away from her, storming towards her bedroom.

She locked the door before jogging to me, taking my wrist, which I jerked away.

"I'm pouring my heart out to you and you laugh at me!?"

"Dave, angel, I wasn't laughing."

"I saw it, Y/N, I saw your fucking (sorry for the language) smile."

"Dave, I was smiling because of how adorable you are. I admire you."

"This is the one place I thought I'd get comfort from."

I said before slipping into her room and slamming the door shut, locking it.

"Baby, baby please let me in."

She pleaded, but I marched to the bed and curled up, hugging her pillow to my chest. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I was too upset to care.

"Darling, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. I know you're hurting, and what they did was terrible. And what I did was uncalled for. Please let me in, I want to hold you."

Though her words tempted me, I refused. Too stubborn to accept love from my girlfriend. I continued sobbing shamelessly, burying my face into the pillow that smelled exactly like her. After a while, sleep consumed my body.

I was awoken by a rattling, and then the creak of her old door. Y/N pushed to door open with her hip. She had a mug in one hand and a bowl in the other.

"Hi honey,"

She whispered, walking up to me. I stayed silent. She placed the mug on the nightstand and the bowl as well. It looked like an extra large Crème Brûlée bowl.

"I made hot coco and s'mores."

"Where's your mug?"

"Don't worry about that now, just sit up for me yeah?"

I reluctantly sat up, sitting against the brick wall. She sat down on the edge of the bed, handing me the mug.

"I'm so sorry for laughing when you needed me, Davie. I really am."

"So is this a pity drink?"

"No, I was going to make some for you anyway."

I tried to take a sip, but the drink was hot. I smiled at her, and she smiled at me.

"Too hot?"

I nodded. She took the drink and placed it on the nightstand before getting me a pair of my pyjamas that she always kept here for me.

"Want to wear your shirt."

"Which one, love?"

"Thin Lizzy. One you've got on."

She slipped off her shirt and handed it to me. I practically ripped my shirt from my body and pulled hers over my head, sighing at the warmth. She sat down next to my feet and lifted them onto her lap, untying my laces. I felt nauseous from the overwhelming amount of love.

No girl I'd ever had had gone as far as taking my shoes off for me when I was feeling low, let alone after I blew off at her.

She slipped my shoes off, placing them neatly next to the bed. I shimmied out of my jeans, slipping the soft shorts on. Y/N put the shirt I'd been wearing on, and it warmed my stomach. She closed and locked the door and sat on the other side of the bed.

I drank my drink, which had thankfully cooled down. But I had no appetite to eat the treats. I suppose she could sense my sadness. She shifted against the wall and held her arms open.

"Come here and let me hold you."

I discarded the drink and shuffled right into her arms, tucking my head underneath her chin. She pulled the covers over my back and moved the other hand to my head, pressing her palm against my ear as she held me to her chest.

My breathing got uneven as I fought off tears. I clenched my fists into the fabric of her my shirt, gnawing at my bottom lip to stop myself from crying. It felt good to be held and accepted.

"It's alright, let it all out, baby. I'm right here, I'm going nowhere. And I'm certainly not making you go anywhere."

Her words cracked the dam wall, and tons of water came flowing. I felt her hand stroke over my back as I wailed like a baby. I hadn't cried in months, maybe even years, so all the pent-up tears were escaping their prison at once.

I shuddered with waves of relief, love, hurt, anger, every emotion possible coursed through my veins.

I felt her lips against my hair, and then my forehead, and my hair again.

"I love you."

She whispered. We hadn't gotten that far into our relationship yet. We were about 3 and a half weeks in. But something about her was different. She bought me pajamas in my size after our second day of going out as an official couple. She allowed me to ramble about nonsense. And she'd always be there to hold my hair back after night of drinking and drugs.

I knew in that moment that I shared her sentiment, and it made me cry harder. I moved closer to her, balling the fabric to an extent where it might rip. I didn't trust my words. I wasn't crying from getting fired alone, I was crying from years of trauma and struggles, years of feeling isolated, years of feeling like a failure, years of hard work that seemed to be washed down the drain in one sentence.

For the first time in years, I felt like I had someone I could trust to be the real me around without getting pushed aside or 'fired'. My breathing started to stutter, and my lungs felt as if they were drowning in water. I looked up at her with panicked eyes. She'd noticed, because her own eyes were already on me.

"Baby breathe. Breathe for me. In and out. Deep breaths. Follow my breathing."

We sat up and she took my hands, stroking my trembling knuckles with her thumbs.

"In and out."

Eventually, my breath came back.

"There we go."

She smiled. Her hand came to my face, wiping my snot and tears away. She then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"My handsome man."

I leaned my cheek against her palm with a coy smile, fluttering my eyes to look at the old and tattered bedding.

"I love you."

I managed to say after a few minutes. She smiled brighter than anything I'd ever seen, and that smile alone motivated me to better, to change, to make something of myself.

"'m sorry for cryin' so much. Just haven't had a chance 'n a while t' let it all out."

I nearly cringed at my strained and congested voice.

"That's alright."

She mused softly, reaching across the bed to take ahold of my hand that was pressed into the mattress.

"Babe?"

I asked. She hummed, her eyes meeting mine.

"'m sorry for flippin' out earlier."

"It's alright, I understand."

"Was mean. Uncalled for."

I looked back at the bedding. I felt her free hand on my jaw, tilting my face to look at hers.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I understand. And I forgive you. We'll talk about everything in the morning. "

That pulled a smile from me.

"So now, let's work on our revenge plan."

That made me giggle. I shook my head, laying on my side.

"Can do that t'morrow. I want you to hold me now."

My voice was hoarse and ached with each word, and my nose was still blocked as I spoke. She switched off the bedlamp and moved to lay against my back, her arms snaking around me. Goosebumps crawled across my skin when she kissed the back of my neck and pulled me closer.

I could squeal like a stupid girl with a stupid crush. A grin plastered itself onto my face as my stomach exploded with fireworks inside.

"I'll do this f'you sometime."

"I know, Davie, I know."

She pressed a kiss to my shoulder. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep. And I fell asleep feeling cherished after numerous hours of feeling like an utter and oblivious fool.

Xxxx

Y'all, that was so sappy and subby. But do I gaf? No.

Love you!

Not proofread. Credit to the gif owner.

[horse-girl-anthy]

under the cut, I discuss my relationship with RGU and how it influences my understanding of the show's purpose.

it's been 10 years since I first watched RGU. I didn't go into it looking for anything intellectual or challenging. even at that age, 16, I was seeking out complex art, but in 2014, RGU didn't have quite the overbearing reputation that it does now--or anyway, I'd missed out it being considered a cryptic masterpiece. my impression of RGU was that it was a "shoujo romance" but with two girls instead of a het ship. I was totally on board with that.

I think going into it with that mindset mafde my relationship with the work different from a lot of other fans'. at a fundamental level, I don't view the show as a "critique" of shoujo tropes, or of fairy tale romance. there was a time during which I was persuaded to see it that way, but I don't anymore, and a lot of that is down to thinking back to my younger self.

I've talked about this before, but I didn't engage all that deeply with RGU at first. it unsettled and confused me in a way I wasn't prepared to deal with. since I'd expected a much simpler story, I kept resisting the more complex aspects of the work. what's more, it was touching on things I didn't want touched on. Utena, Anthy, and Nanami were all characters I was afraid to fully identify with, and Akio was a violation of all my girlhood dreams and ideals.

despite that, I was very moved by the final episode and would rewatch it off and on for years after. I remember being 18, very lonely and upset in my college dorm room, and telling myself, "there's no prince coming to save you," which to me meant "there is no force to rely on other than yourself." I'd, of course, thought things like that before, but this time it sunk all the way down to my bones. I explicitly linked this revelation to RGU.

still, I think back to those girlish feelings, which RGU trampled on so thoroughly, with a sense of nostalgia and tenderness. RGU carefully outlines the dangers of dependence, particularly when it is caught up in gendered power struggles. yet, it's only natural for a person who's still a child to be dependent. I don't think we need to "critique" dependence; we just need to understand it. RGU is much more sympathetic to kids than people give it credit for. it's sympathizing with the painful process of becoming independent--an adult.

going further, why exactly was I looking for a "shoujo romance" with two girls? it wasn't as if I was stupid or mindless. I knew that a lot of the romance content I was consuming wasn't "high art." I did, in fact, read several straightforward yuri romances where girls just saved each other and nothing particularly "deconstructive" happened. I liked them, just like I liked the het and the BL I read.

are some of those types of stories regressive? sure. but honestly, most of them are just meant to make the readers feel comforted. even though my tastes are more sophisticated now, it's not as if I'll turn down comfort in art today either.

to bring it back to RGU, I think what I'm getting at is that I don't see it was a work which is casting judgment at all, not on other stories nor those who consume them. I think it actually captures the appeal of romance to the fullest extent. for instance, the tenderness, protectiveness, and yearning between Utena and Anthy, as well as much of the story's angst and melodrama. I was very unhappy as a teenager. I liked stories about love; I liked to imagine that I could love and be loved. in that way, RGU wasn't so different from any other romance I enjoyed.

there's a "have your cake and eat it too" aspect of the story. it uses the wrappings of genre to engender emotional investment, and that level shouldn't be discounted, because it's the foundation of the work. then the mature themes are layered on that foundation. thus, RGU both captures the primal emotional appeal of love stories AND demonstrates that, unless you become an adult and free yourself of illusions, you'll never be able to attain love. it depicts people rising above systems which seek to manipulate their desire for love and connection, but said manipulation should not obscure the motivating drive of the series. not only does RGU not condemn "the shoujo genre," but it is actually the pinnacle of shoujo romance for refining the deepest desires of its core demographic.

[chvnnie]

Ceilings

hwang hyunjin x reader

word count: 4.8k

genre: angsty smut - MINORS DNI

warnings: non-modern au (1940 movie star!hyunjin), smoking (cigarettes), forbidden love, dom!hyunjin, sub!reader, infidelity, mentions of drugs and alcohol, hyunjin gets his feelings hurt, oral (f receiving), gentle dirty talk, breath play, unprotected sex (no don't even think about it), creampie, i thiiiink that's all! if i missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: it's lonely being famous

a/n: do not ask me how many times i listened to ceilings while writing this (hence the title), you don't want to know. post concert depression has hit her HARD. also not me coming up with this idea during muddy water i'm-

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents hwang hyunjin as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi, @woahfruity, @isilentprincess, @hugs4chan, @stranger-thighs, @beautifulcolorgarden, @scottmcallisdaddy, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @humayraaaaa, @americanokisses, @djeniryuu - comment/send ask to be added

Though it’s only an hour or so past midnight, there’s a tinge of purple in the dark sky. Stars freckle the light color, illuminating the tiny balcony where the movie star stands. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he finally gets a match to strike. Cupping the flame to avoid losing it (again), he brings it to the end. 

The taste of tobacco hits his tongue, threatening to overpower the lingering flavors of you. He’s careful to savor it, not wanting it to slip from him. Greedy would be a good word to describe him; even if it would only take roughly thirty steps to get his fill, missing it even a bit would be a tragic loss. 

Head rolled back, he lets his eyes shut as he exhales the smoke into the November night. A rumble fills the space around him, thunder warning him that his time is limited. It won’t be long until the few raindrops that he’s felt become more powerful. Falling in heavy waves, filling the alley below his townhome with a mild flood.

He’s in no rush. Nothing compares to a cigarette with a hint of you.

The glass doors open with a creak, warmth spilling from the inside. “Are you not cold?”

Hyunjin smiles to himself before turning to face you. His white dress shirt is baggier on you than it is him, the scent of his cologne rolling off it. Your hair is a bit messy, disheveled from the silk sheets. Makeup is smeared under your tired eyes in a way that he thinks is charming. 

“I thought you were sleeping.” He responds before taking another long drag. 

“I was.” With your thumb and pointer finger, you take the cigarette from him and bring it to your own lips. “It’s hard when the bed is empty.”

There’s no way to stop the chuckle that leaves his lips. “I’m sorry, love. I just assumed you were used to it.”

The joke is in poor taste, and frankly he wouldn’t blame you if you put the cigarette out on his face. Instead you give a dry laugh, rolling your eyes as you inhale the sweetly poisonous smoke. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

His motions are gentle. Cupping your face, using his thumbs to both brush your hair back and stroke the apples of your cheeks. Your pretty eyes blink up at him, stars reflecting in their depths. Out of all the wonders he experiences, you are his favorite. 

“I just wanted a smoke.” Hyunjin says in a low whisper. “I promise to be back soon.” It’s locked in with a kiss to each cheek, and one between your eyebrows. 

Something he’s learned from living in the public eye is that a lot of things are fleeting. Words are empty, nobody really trusts anybody for all the right reasons. Everybody wants something from him, all for their own benefit. 

But not you. You’re the most honest thing in his life. 

Taking a step out of his hold, you give a warm smile. “You better, or I’ll push you off this balcony.”

“As is your right, love.”

And then you’re gone, the ghost of your perfume left to surround him when the doors shut. The wind steals it from him too soon, the loneliness that remains all consuming. What’s the point of this life if without you, everything is worthless?

Hyunjin smokes the cigarette down to the end, stubbing it out on the metal railing. The bud falls over the edge, landing in the tiny puddle the rain has made.

His shirt is crumpled on the floor again. On the bed, you lay bare on your stomach, facing away from the balcony door. The sheets sit on your hips, entire back lit by the few remaining candles. Flames dance as Hyunjin walks past them, slowly stripping himself of the robe he only put on to step outside in. The last thing the papers need are pictures of his form decorating them. 

The bed shifts under his weight, knees on the mattress as he moves to lay behind you. Resting on his left arm, Hyunjin carefully brushes your hair off your shoulders. Giving him space to pepper kisses across your warm skin. 

“I know you’re awake.” He whispers near your ear, delighted when he’s rewarded with a sea of goosebumps. “Pay attention to me, darling.”

Carefully, you turn your head to face him. “I told you I can’t sleep in an empty bed.”

The city whispers rumors of his lover. A faceless woman some claim to have seen in passing — sneaking into his car late at night, glances of her stealing cigarettes from the star behind his trailer. 

Hyunjin rests his head on your pillow, hooking his arm around your waist. “I’m here. Why don’t you sleep now?”

It’s almost like she’s a ghost. Even he denies her existence; laughing off the accusations even when it comes from his closest friends. How cliche of a thought; the movie star with a normal lover, one who seems to blend in with every crowd.

You shift in the bed, letting your legs tangle with his. Fingers softly stroke his cheek, pushing the dark strands out of his eyes. “Because you’re here.”

But you’re not normal. If those who speak of you knew of you, everything he’s worked so hard for would be ripped from his hands-

The taste of you greets him once again, tongues dancing to a rhythm only the two of you can hear. With great care, you cup his face. Letting your bodies become one as you inhale him like a warm cigarette on a cold autumn’s night. 

-and you truly would become a ghost to him.

With great care, Hyunjin uses his hold on you to roll you onto your back. It would be a tragedy to break a kiss this heated, lips locked in as he climbs atop you. Your legs spread, welcoming him into your space once again. 

Fingers tangle in his dark locks, tugging with every nip on your lip. His large hand splays across your left hip, firmly pressing with his palm to keep you pinned to the bed. When his thumb strokes just above your mound, he feels the goosebumps rise under his touch. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” He whispers into the kiss, your whimpers making his lips vibrate. 

“Always.”

His hand dips lower, fingertips stroking your inner thigh. So close to your heat, he’s practically aflame. 

“Say it.”

In a life full of luxuries, anything he wants within reach, there’s only one thing he’ll ask for. Every single time, needing it more than the breath in his lungs.

You break the kiss, making sure to meet your eyes as you give him a smile the sun is jealous of. “I’m yours, Hyunjin. Everywhere. All the time.”

With that, his hand creeps down your leg until it finds your knee. Hiking it up as Hyunjin slides down the bed, taking only a moment to breathe before kissing down your thighs. He adjusts the other leg, making sure both feet rest on his shoulders before completely losing himself. 

The taste of you is sweet. Painstakingly careful, he draws a line from your clit to your entrance, making sure to savor every drop of you. Nothing quite compares to this; the soft noises you make when his tongue circles your hole, the twitching of your toes on his shoulder blades. 

What a shame it would be to waste something as delectable as you.

As he groans, his hands wrap around your ankles. Keeping you from squirming out of his grasp. “Fuck, I love this cunt.” He pulls back just to spit directly on your clit, huffing a laugh when your hips roll in response. “You're dripping all over my bed, sweetheart.”

God, he’s in love with you. The way you roll your head, the hands cupping your breasts. Gently, your thumbs press down on your nipples, mimicking the motion in which Hyunjin always touches you. Firm, fast, light. Enough to make your hole flutter around nothing. 

“Sorry.” You exhale a shaky breath that quickly turns into a moan when he starts drawing hearts with his tongue. “Can’t help m-myself.”

“Of course you can’t.” He mocks, applying a bit more pressure with his licks. From the way you start to twitch, knees touching above your head, it’s obvious how close you are. Overstimulated from the unwavering attention he gave you earlier this evening. 

You cry out his name in the most beautifully desperate way, back arching as your nails start to dig into your soft skin. Unspoken pleas and warnings; he needs to let you cum. You need him.

“Again.” Hyunjin commands. “Louder.”

Over and over, his name is shouted. Even as your voice begins to crack, the intensity of your orgasm almost too much for your body to handle, you don’t stop screaming. 

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

Rolling off your tongue like it’s meant to be.

///

There’s a ray of sunlight where your body should be. It bleeds in from the velvet curtains, illuminating the emptiness of the star’s bed. Mindlessly, he traces the sheets, up and down and up and down. Wishing the warmth was coming from your skin and not the silk.

Hyunjin knew you would be gone in the morning. You always are; before the moon even fully disappears. Despite his begs, the dire need to wake up next to you, this is the way it has to be. To protect not only his reputation, but yourself. 

Every time you leave, he can’t help but wonder if it was a dream. Were you ever really here? Or just a figment of his imagination — the results of a high that leaves him feeling numb. 

But then he gets up. There’s the crumpled shirt, the smell of cigarettes and your rose perfume clinging to the fabric. In the bathroom, there are tissues. Stained with lipstick and eyeliner. The towel you used, your hair on his brush. Little reminders that you were here. Real. His, even if only for a brief moment. 

And his heart crumbles all over again, crying as the shower starts to turn cold. When you sneak out his backdoor, you’re no longer his. Lost to a world that doesn’t deserve you, a home that doesn’t love you in all the ways he does. 

Out of his grasp. A memory, nothing more. 

He stands under the water until his skin is numb, eyes burning from the stream of tears that don’t seem to have an end. The morning is a blur; he isn’t sure when he washed his face, or brushed his teeth. He doesn’t remember picking up the shirt you wore just hours later, putting it on to be surrounded by you yet again. How long has he been sitting in traffic?

Does it matter? 

Dark shades protect his eyes as he walks through the lot. The gazes of staff, costars, and the production team are heavy on him. Conspiracies whispered among them; is he high again? Maybe drunk? Both?

If only they knew how sober he actually was.

The trailer door slams loud enough to startle his friend, jumping a bit in his seat and making him drop the book in his hand. Sighing, the blonde runs his fingers through his hair. “Jin, you made me lose my spot.”

He pushes his sunglasses up, rubbing his eyes with the heels on his palms. After months in this trailer, he can navigate it with ease, finding his chair without even opening his eyes. “Sorry, Lix.”

With a sigh, the younger man flips through the book, so worn out it’s practically falling apart his hands. “You’re late.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Felix hums as he finds his place, folding the corner so he doesn’t lose it again. “Is that why you reek of perfume?”

Hyunjin can’t even find it in himself to entertain his jab, nose twitching as he wills himself to keep composure. It’s not like he’s worried about crying in front of his friend, but what his team will think when they walk in. The inconsolable lead actor, hardly able to take a breath. The glass shards of his heart surrounding him, turning to dust over a woman who isn’t even his. 

“It’s getting harder and harder to cover for you.” Felix says as he throws a robe at him, a silent gesture to start getting changed. “Nobody is happy about you running late so frequently.”

Shaky fingers work on his shirt buttons, praying that your scent lingers on his skin. It keeps him sane. “Yeah, well without me there’s no movie.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to show up well past your call time.” Felix waits for his friend to put on the robe, plopping back down in the chair as he reaches for the straightener. “There were so many people looking for you today. I fucking lost count of who came in and out. The director even sent his wife-“

Everything that comes after that is lost, Hyunjin’s body turning cold as he starts to get dizzy. His mind tumbles with questions. When? For how long? Why?

If he spent less time in the shower, would he have been here when you came looking for him?

“-and I’m running out of excuses. If you want to keep this job-“

“I’ll apologize.” Hyunjin says firmly, taking slow breaths to try and steady his heart rate. “And get my shit together.”

He can’t tell if the apology is genuine, or to get his friend to quiet down so he can think. Frankly, he doesn’t care. You were here, looking for him — and he knows it’s not because you were told to. Risking exposing the little secret you two have been so careful about keeping. 

The first time he kissed you, it was raining. The clouds were so dark, day could easily be mistaken for night. Your lips were like clouds, so soft and easy to fall into. Hyunjin cupped your face, feeling your cheeks squish between his fingers. When your lips touched his, he knew it was over for him. Though he swore he wouldn’t fall in love with you, he was doomed from the beginning. 

When those three words were whispered to him, Hyunjin knew for certain. You were meant to be his, he yours. Nothing was right until you.

The speed in which he readies himself is impressive, out the trailer before an assistant can even time check him. You’re sitting by your husband when he walks on set, looking over the man’s shoulders as your eyes follow his movement. He only counts to four before you excuse yourself, making a beeline to the catering table. 

Acting like he doesn’t even notice you, Hyunjin stops beside you. Pretending to consider the pastry options.

“I came for you.” Your voice is but a whisper, almost lost in the chatter of the set. “Only Felix was in your trailer.”

“I missed you, too.” He’s smooth with his words, finally picking up a chocolate croissant. “If I knew you were planning on being here, I would’ve got here on time.”

The sigh you give is cute. Hyunjin can’t help the smile it brings him. “I wasn’t. I’m only here because he asked.”

No context is needed. The star can feel the director’s eyes burning holes into his back. “What a good wife you are.”

The two of you don’t exchange eye contact, dancing around the table as if you’re only there to grab a snack. 

“He noticed I was gone.” You say as you fill a styrofoam cup with hot water. 

“Hm, for once? How kind of him to not be distracted by a model this time.”

The laugh you give is dry. “At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” Oh. Ouch. There’s an ache in his chest that stings more than he could even imagine — that can’t be all you are to him, can it? “Meet me in your trailer after your scene?”

Hyunjin simply nods before bringing his cup of coffee to his lips. “You look cute in that dress.”

How many times does he have to watch you walk away? Giving your husband the most obnoxious fake smile as you hand him his tea, accepting a kiss to your cheek as a thank you.

Maybe Hyunjin doesn’t want this croissant. 

Seconds feel like hours, the actor finding it hard to focus on the scene. His head keeps spinning, you in the center of it. Unwanted thoughts keep plaguing his mind; maybe you are just an illusion, the love he thought you shared nothing but a fantasy. He loves you so much that it physically hurts, the hole in his chest when you’re away like pure torture. 

When he can steal glances at you, he does. Always focused on him, even if you’re tucked into your husband’s side. Almost as if you’re taunting him — look what you can never be.

Claws dig into his brain, gashing it open in slow swipes. With each gaping wound comes a blood curdling screams that only he can hear. It’s loud in his mind, reality out of his grasp as the painful emotions begin to swallow him whole. With all eyes on him. 

The clapperboard barely cuts through the noise, announcing the end of his scene. Before the director can even dismiss him, Hyunjin is walking out the door. It doesn’t matter that people are staring, whispering about the little scene he’s caused by storming off. 

He just needs out. He needs you. 

Once he steps in the trailer, the costume is torn off him, the buttons ripping as he shreds it from his body. There’s little care for it — spending another second in those clothes means pretending he’s someone he’s not. And he can’t deny himself any longer. 

His back is turned to the door when you open it quietly, clicking the lock the second it’s shut. “Hyunjin, that was—“

Slowly, he turns to face you. The emotion on his face is raw; eyes red with tears, face twisted in pain. When you meet his eyes, you stop cold. Frozen by the makeup table. 

“Do you love me?” 

Your brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about? Of course I do—“

“Do you love me?” He repeats the question in a broken voice, taking slow steps towards you. Fear starts to blossom in your wide eyes, backing up as he gets closer to you. It’s only when you hit the table that you stop, allowing him to close in on you. “Or are you using me?”

The shock in your expression is earnest, incapable of believing what’s coming from your lover’s mouth. “Why would you think that?”

“At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” He repeats your words from earlier, hands slamming on the table by your sides. There’s nowhere for you to run; you’re caged in. 

“Hyunjin.” Your voice is dripping in hurt. “I love you—“

“Answer the fucking question!” He’s careful not to shout at you, but still raises his voice. Needing you to understand the severity of this. 

He hates the way you’re looking at him. Lip wobbling, tears running down your cheeks. Never did he dream of making you feel like this, of being the cause of your pain. It’s like someone is ripping his heart out and stomping on it — but he has to know, so he can tear himself out of this existence. 

“Yes.” You exhale shakily, hiccups building in your throat. “Fuck, Hyunjin, I love you more than anything.”

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Leave him, and stay with me.” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to cry, sniffling as the pain releases down his flushed cheeks. All the bottled up thoughts, the words he’s never said — it all begins to spill, falling like the rain that hit his window as he made love to you last night. 

“B-but, your career. You’ve worked so hard—“

“And none of it matters it if you’re not here.” A shaky hand cups your face, gently brushing the tears away. “If I have to wake up without you one more time, I fear I won’t survive.”

It’s always been obvious that he’s in love with you, but never has he bared his soul quite like this. All of it, no longer buried inside him. No longer protected. Yours to cherish, yours to break. Every ounce of him has always been yours.

He can hear the wheels turn in your head. All of the options carefully weighed as you scan his face. The longer your silence continues, the more his fear grows. Crawling up his body like a poison ivy, every inch of his skin on fire as the chance of losing you increases. 

You sigh before breaking eye contact, and it’s over. He can feel it — all a dream, never a reality. The ghost of you is haunting him already.

“Why do I keep leaving you to wake alone-“ You grab his free hand with both of yours, cupping it as if it was made of glass. “-when I dread it just as much myself?

His sight follows yours, catching one last look at the ring on your finger before it falls to the floor. The love and home you built with a man that wasn’t him gone with a light thud.

For once, in the entirety of the time he’s known him, you’re finally all his.

In unison, you both look up. Meeting each other’s gaze once more; only this time, there’s no pain. No anger, no confusion. In that space is a love nobody in this eternity ever has, or ever will experience. 

You are better than anything he could dream. Than any writer could ever create. Even the stars are jealous of the wonder you hold. 

And you’re all his.

When he kisses you, it’s better than any you’ve ever shared before. There’s no barrier, nothing that’s going to take you from him after you lay together. It’s like experiencing you for the first time all over again, and he’ll be damned to take it for granted. 

Grabbing your hips, he lifts you up just a bit to put you on the makeup table. Once sat, your legs hook around his waist, pushing your bodies so close together that they threaten to become one. Your head tilts back, allowing Hyunjin to deepen the kiss. It’s sloppier than usual, the excitement too hard to contain. He smiles into the kiss, eagerly letting his tongue tangle with yours.

The trailer is scolding hot on this cool November afternoon, the windows steaming from your combined body heat. As the kiss moves to your jaw, your nails dig into his back, slowly raking down until your fingers brush the waistband of his boxers. 

Hyunjin considers himself to be a respectful, honorable man. Even though he’s sleeping with another man’s wife, he’s always been careful not to leave marks. He has some respect; or at least, he used to. Now he’s nipping at your jaw, not caring about the bruises he leaves. 

“Tell me, darling.” His voice has dropped an octave, low and almost chilling. “How often did you let him touch you after I did?”

You shake your head, gasping when you feel his hands slip under the skirt of your dress. “N-never. It's only ever been you.”

He can’t even fathom how any man could share a bed with you and not want to worship every inch of you. What an absolute joke of a husband — but at least he was kind enough to save you for Hyunjin. 

His fingers hook onto your silk panties, tugging them off with a strength that pulls you to the edge of the table. “Good. I don’t like to share.”

It’s very likely that he is biased, but Hyunjin thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. The way your soft lips part in surprise every time his hand wraps around your throat, the insatiable desire burning deep in your eyes — oh, he’ll never tire of making you react like this. 

Your panties fall to the ground, landing close by the abandoned wedding ring. The grip he has on you is intense; palm pressing hard enough to make your lips tingle, little whimpers leaving them as you push his boxers down. His cock catches on the waistband, springing up when fully released and hitting his lower abs. 

Are you already drooling? How precious. 

Hyunjin collects your spit with his thumb, shoving it back into your mouth. “Don’t be so messy, love.”

An apology vibrates against his thumb, only to be cut short by a low moan when the head of his cock starts to tease your folds. There’s something about his touch that drives you wild, a feral force driving you to start shaking as you buck your hips. 

He takes the thumb out of your mouth, letting the pretty sounds fill the trailer. All it takes is a raise of his brows for you to start begging, damn near incoherent. 

“Please, Jinnie.” You whine. “I n-need you.”

“And I, you.”

It only takes one fluid thrust to fill you to the brim; the width of his cock gives you a delightfully painful stretch. As you cry in pleasure, he playfully chuckles, bucking in even though there’s no more space. Just so you can feel all of him. 

“Just like that.” Hyunjin says, capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “Make all those pretty noises for me, love.”

And with that, he pulls back until just the tip is inside you. Your cunt flutters around him, so eager for him even after a small taste. The strength in which he slams into you makes the table shake, the trailer creaking from the movement. 

Hyunjin has fucked you in here a number of times, always making sure to be as inconspicuous as possible. Not wanting to give more fuel for the rumors. 

Now, he’s pouring the gas over it, and will even light the flame himself. 

The rhythm he picks is rough; squeezing your neck tighter with each brutal movement. He’s sure you leave bruises all over you. Neck, hips, legs. All reminders that he’s the only person for you. 

A delightful scream, followed by a precious giggle, alerts Hyunjin of your soft spot. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, clinging to his sweaty body as he makes a point of hitting it again.

“H-hyunjin.” You pant, barely able to form words. “Good, good-“

“Oh?” He snakes a hand between your bodies, only barely touching your clit. Just the featherlight touch makes you twitch. “You’re so sensitive, baby. Were you that hungry for my cock?”

He doesn’t have to look at you to know the expression you’re wearing — eyes shut, drool rolling down your chin. Fucked dumb so easily, it’s almost comical. Deciding that words are too hard, you nod as your moans increase in volume. 

God, Hyunjin loves you so fucking much.

It doesn’t take much more for you to start to cry, the orgasm building faster than he can fuck you. Grabbing the nape of your neck, he pulls your head up despite your protest. 

“Where?” He asks through shaky breaths, his own stomach starting to twitch.

Your eyes slowly flutter open, staring at him with empty doe as you lock your legs shut. And clench.

It was your one rule. You can fuck, you can fall in love, but Hyunjin cannot cum in you. It was the one boundary you set, and he was nothing but respectful of your wishes. 

So to know that this is now what you want, making it almost impossible for him to pull out—

“Fuck, kiss me.” He growls, slamming your lips against his own. The second you cum around his cock, he releases into you, finally making you his own.

Limply you cling to him, whining as he pulls out of you. When the kiss breaks, your head returns to his shoulder. Clinging to him as if your life depends on it. 

Hyunjin loves you from the table, lying you down on the cool leather couch. When he tries to release you, you begin to cry in protest. 

“Shh, darling.” He says with a fond chuckle. “I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be back.”

You’re asleep before he even gets his robe on. Before leaving, he picks up a bit. Returns the makeup to the table, finds your ring. Stuffs the panties in his pocket.

It’s a quick, brisk walk back to the set. A red light warns him that the cameras are rolling, yet he walks in without a care. 

After all, without him, there’s no movie.

The director yells for the scene to end with an annoyed tone, turning his head to glare at whoever just interrupted the otherwise smooth scene. Hyunjin only smiles as he approaches him, the smell of sweat and sex rolling off his body. 

It’s a wordless exchange — digging in his pocket, the actor pulls out your ring, wrapping your soiled panties around it. Carelessly, Hyunjin drops it on the director's lap, waiting for the realization to cross his face before he speaks.

“I quit.”

©: chvnnie 2023

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Stray Kids Mafia (ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 5.4k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

Two days.

Two days was all we had for preparations.

After my conversation with Chan yesterday, it was agreed upon that time was of the essence, especially with Jiho breathing down our necks. The time and place had been confirmed after a secondary call with Big Bang, the plan was set in motion, all we had to do was execute.

Seongho was quick in befriending each of the members last night. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d start to think they might actually like him better than me. 

When the sun had risen, Seongho wasted no time bounding over to my room from his guest bed, laying across me and groaning until I finally had stirred awake. 

"Get offffff" I choked out into my pillow, squirming under his body weight. With a chuckle he splayed his arms out to his side like a starfish, dispersing his weight farther across my body.

"Maybe if you weren't lazy we wouldn't be having this problem."

"So help me god if you don't get off right now you're going to suffocate me, have fun explaining that to Chan." My legs flailed beneath him, feet kicking backward in an attempt to kick him.

Seongho finally rolled off of me, settling into the space beside me in bed with a groan. I hoisted myself onto my elbows, finally allowing myself to breathe.

"You're way too energetic this early in the morning." My head dropped forward, hair draping across my face as I closed my eyes, wishing I could let sleep take over once more.

"And you sleep in too much, come to the gym with me."

"I can't, Seungmin still hasn't cleared me for physical activity." I fell forward back into my pillow, my body melting into the warm sheets as I pulled the blanket up over my head. "Just go down there yourself, let me sleep."

"Com'on, it's no fun down there by myself, at least come tell me if I'm doing stuff right." 

"Oh jesus christ. Fine." 

I originally had a full day of relaxation planned, letting myself to do little to nothing until nightfall when Seongho, Felix and I would head to Blossom after closing. But alas, relaxation was far from Seongho’s mind, the gusto almost literally dripping off of him.

He felt like a kid on Christmas, far too eager to experience everything all at once. I had assured him that if he wanted me involved in any of his early morning shenanigans he would have to patiently wait for me to consume my morning coffee, preferably in silence after my rude awakening.

By the grace of the heavens, Changbin and Jeongin had made their way into the kitchen while Seongho mindlessly swung side to side in his stool, watching as I leaned back against the counter with my warm mug in hand. The two were clearly about to head down to the gym, filling their water bottles with shared jokes.

"What amazing timing you two have" Changbin and Jeongin both directed their attention to me, causing Jeongin to slightly spill some water in the process of his distraction. "Seongho needs a training buddy and I can't assist with that quite yet, care to take him under your wing?" 

Changbin's smile grew as he stepped over and gave Seongho a soft punch to the arm, before nodding back to the stairwell. 

"Yes! Come join Dwaekki gym!"

My brows furrowed in confusion as I looked at Jeongin, mouthing a silent question to him with the single word dwaekki?

He shrugged, clearly just accepting cluelessness to Changbin's naming scheme, not quite sure of an answer for me.

Before I knew it, the three were shuffling from the room, their laughter carrying down the hall as they slipped from my sight. 

I let out a slow sigh in the new peace and quiet that was surrounding me, turning to gaze out the window and observing the crisp snow blanketing the ground. 

"Winter sure snuck up on us fast, didn't it?" I turned my head to see Chan sneaking up behind me and refilling his freshly emptied mug of coffee.

"It sure did." Outside produced the familiar, comforting silence of fresh snow, the sun sparkling off each flake as they fell. 

"Where's Seongho?" Chan settled into a stool on the opposite side of the island, leaning forward onto his arms with his mug settled snugly between his hands.

"I sent him off with Changbin and Jeongin to get out some of his energy in the gym.." I let out a chuckle as I turned to face Chan, leaning back onto the counter as I brought my mug to my lips.

"He’s sure had no problem fitting in. How was it being back at your own place for a bit?"

I hummed in response, smiling down into the dark liquid in my hand with a nod.

"It felt nice, almost like a little vacation."

“Well, good. I hope that it did you both some good”

“I think so. At least for me, I can’t speak for Mr. Lee Minho.”

"You two didn’t have too much fun did you?" 

In an instant I can feel all the blood rush to my face, a heat quickly forming in my cheeks as I stumbled across my words.

"I-what? Who…no, of course not! Just a normal, reasonable amount of adult fun. Wait, no, just normal fun…of the non-adult variety.”

His brow slowly rose, lips parting as he let out a breathy chuckle with a smirk.

“Well you clearly don’t do well under pressure, remind me to keep you away from interrogation situations.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

"Of course you don't.” He rose from his seat, lightly tapping the counter before turning to leave. “I'm just glad to hear there's finally progress between you two." 

"The hell is that supposed to mean!? Chan!" I hustled to the hallway after him, watching as he hopped up each step of the staircase. "Yah! What does that mean!?" 

His giggles faded as he rounded the corner, giddy like a child. I blinked as his words replayed in my mind, stunned as I processed them.

I quickly dropped my mug into the sink, deciding that it was time to distract myself from what occurred within the walls of my apartment. 

Skipping down the stairs, I turned towards the gym door, slowly pushing it open to the noisy commotion.

"Oh com'on! I know you're not letting yourself get your ass handed to you by the newbie right now!" Jeongin heckled out from the bench, watching in amusement as Changbin and Seongho had a sparring match in the middle of the room. 

He gave me a wide grin as I plopped down next to him, back resting against the cold mirror behind me. 

"You shit talking from the sidelines right now?"

"Oh yeah, egging them on is my favorite past-time." His eyes glanced back to the two, letting out a humored scoff. "You seriously couldn't block that?" 

I'll admit I was quite surprised seeing Seongho in this environment. Throughout my time of knowing him, I never took him to have the skills of a trained fighter, yet here he was proving me wrong as he held his own against the Seo Changbin.

"Where have you been hiding this from me Seongho?" I crossed my arms with my head cocked to the side, observing each of his movements.

"Guess you weren't the only one holding secrets." Seongho quickly ducked away from one of Changbin's blows with a panting grin, clearly leaving Changbin disgruntled. 

"Sure took me by surprise." Changbin hopped back with a dodge, steadying himself back on his feet.

"TAKE HIM OUUUUUT!" Jeongin cheered with a fist pounding the air, laughing at his own instigation. 

I nudged him in the side with a grin, laughing off the maknae's enthusiasm.

"What? I wanna take the winner, and I want that to be Seongho." 

Sure enough Jeongin did get his turn up against the mighty Seongho, and I quickly realized I hadn't truly got to witness Jeongin in action yet either.

He was a bit quicker than Changbin, who was now a sweaty mess sitting beside me and downing his water. Jeongin's smaller stature gave him the ability to dodge Seongho's bulky  frame faster, giving him the advantage over Seongho's more balanced opponent of Changbin. 

Changbin on the other hand chose a different approach to Jeongin's heckling, instead giving pointers to each of their moves, using the sparring session as an opportunity for growth. 

It was reassuring to watch Seongho blend into the group like he had been here through it all, SKZ had welcomed him with warm open arms and immediately treated him as one of their own. In just under two weeks he’d established himself in their ranks and they’d given him his own room. Everything seemed to be working out perfectly.

I watched with a smile as the two danced around each other, Changbin's instructions becoming muffled background noise beside me. As I admired the scene before me my muscles began to itch, aching to join the action. 

Before I knew it I was starting to approach the mat, tapping Jeongin on the shoulder to signal a swap out. He hesitated as he stepped back, giving me a worried glance. 

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

"It's fine, Seungmin will probably be clearing me for light work any day now. Seongho just has to go easy on me." I held my fists up before me, looking at Seongho with my brow raised. 

"I'm not sure if this is smart…" Seongho dropped his fists as he looked at me with concern, Changbin behind me finally speaking up.

"If I feel like you're going too hard and I tell you to stop, you need to listen, okay?" 

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say boss." I groaned over my shoulder, before turning back to Seongho. "Now come at me." I landed a soft punch to his stomach, giving him a laugh as he shook his head with a grin. 

"Oh now you're gonna get it." We moved much slower than he did with his previous opponents, letting my favor my good arm and only occasionally trying to land a hit with my injured side. 

I tried to stay mindful of being careful, but there was something about being active again that gave me new life, letting myself get a bit too carried away with my hits. The occasional sharp pain in my shoulder was ignored, letting myself just focus on where I was at the moment.

"YAH!" In my distraction I failed to notice the door to the gym opening, a disgruntled Minho quickly stepping between the two of us and staring me down. "What do you think you're doing?" 

I threw my head back with a groan, making sure to look away from Minho as I lowered my chin. 

"I'm being careful, Binnie's even watching over us to make sure I don't overdo it!" I motioned back to Changbin on the bench with my hand, turning back to Minho with a glare.

"The hell you are, I could quite literally see you wincing. Seungmin. Now." He pointed to the door, voice stern as he nudged me forward with his other hand.

"Oh com'on! I'm not gonna get better if I just sit here doing nothing!" 

"That's exactly how you're going to get better, now go see Seungmin." With a huff I left the room, Minho close on my tail. He stopped in the doorway, looking back at the three men left behind. "Please resume where you were-" He quickly pointed a finger at Changbin "-and no more encouraging her." 

I stopped in my tracks, turning around right as Minho shut the door behind him and came face to face with me. 

"If we've got Big Bang coming in, how do you expect me to be ready when shit hits the fan?" 

"By actually taking care of yourself, now can you please stop being so stubborn?" 

"I'm not being stubborn, I'm being realistic. I can't sit back and let this injury prevent me from helping."

"I think both Chan and Seungmin would beg to differ." He placed his hand on my back, gently leading me towards the staircase. 

As we neared the medical room my steps grew smaller, our walk in silence breaking as Minho stopped in front of me and turned with a brow raised in question. 

"What if I just promise not to do it again? I'll admit you're right."

"Oh no, you're not getting yourself out of this." His fingers gently wrapped around my bicep, pulling me forward as he left two knocks on the door before swinging it open and pulling me inside.

"You know, the knocks don't do much if you just let yourself in." Seungmin slowly turned in his chair, glasses perched on the tip of his nose and book in hand. His eyes stopped on the two of us, before glancing to me and back to Minho. 

With a reluctant sigh, he closed his book and set it on the desk behind him, turning back to us and interlocking his fingers in his lap as he leaned back.

"Now what brings the two of you in?" 

"Why don't you explain why we're here?" Minho side eyed me with a blank expression, waiting for me to finally speak up. 

I bit my lip as I avoided each of their stares, a metaphorical spotlight shining and blinding me as both of their eyes drilled holes into my skin. 

"I take it she was doing something she wasn't supposed to?" Seungmin looked toward Minho with a quizzical stare, the direction of his question being taken off me.

"What gave it away?" Minho’s head tilted to the side with a sigh. 

"I was being careful!" 

“Hush dear, we’ll deal with you in a moment” Minho’s hand flicked toward me, head turning to me with a brow raised in a silent challenge.

My eyes fell on Seungmin, slumped in his chair as his face dropped into disappointment, glancing from Minho to me. With an exasperated groan he placed his hands on the arm rests, pushing himself to stand and sulking over to the bed in the middle of the room.

“Sit.” His hand flicked toward the bed in instruction, before he turned and began to fiddle with the light to the side. My shoulders drooped as I groaned towards the ceiling, before being startled by Minho’s hand finding placement on my lower back, ushering me forward into the room.

“I really think you guys are making this a bigger deal than it is.” I shimmied up onto the bed in front of Seungmin, my legs dangling over the side and hands gripping the edge.

Seungmin chose to blissfully ignore my comment, instead clicking on the light with it angled a bit too precisely to leave me squinting and flinching away from the bright light in my eyes.

“Have you been doing your exercises?” He glanced up through his lashes, face heavy with irritation. Clearly he was going to waste no time starting the interrogation, light blinding me as though I was a criminal on trial.

I reached up and tried to angle the light away from my eyes, but Seungmin’s reaction was quicker, hand gripping my wrist and setting it back at my side.

“By the lack of response, I’m taking that as a no?” His brow raised, clearly unhappy with my choice to stay silent.

“I’m starting to think she just enjoys the pain.” Minho crossed to a chair on the side of the room, pulling the pillow from it before plopping down with it in his lap and feet crossed on the ottoman in front of him.

“Oh and the secret comes out. Geez what did you two get up to while you were gone?” Seungmin said with a chuckle, eyes carefully zeroed in on my shoulder.

“Literally nothing, he’s just being Minho and making stupid comments.” My gaze sharpened in Minho’s direction with a glare, bringing a snicker out of him. “Now can you just tell me I’m fine and let me go on my way?” Seungmin’s eyes pointed up to me as he gazed through his lashes, emotion flat as he slowly blinked.

“I’m sorry, but who’s the doctor here?” He tapped my elbow, demonstrating with his own arm the movements he wanted to see me replicate. I kept my face steady to not show any signs of discomfort as I rotated the joint, pleased to at least show my full range of motion having returned.

“Neither of you. Your license was revoked.” Minho snickered as Seungmin’s head snapped in his direction, earning a glare as he attempted to brush off the comment before turning back to me.

“You’re lucky.” Seungmin stepped back, letting himself fall back into his seat. “You seem to have your movements back, but you still need to be keeping it easy.”

“Oh com’on, I’m sick of babying this.”

“You can do light work. No weights. No sparring. You’re still in your physical therapy stage. And you’ll never get out of it if you don’t take it seriously.”

“Wow no sparring, what a concept.” Minho piped up from the side, his condescending tone dripping from the words as they left his mouth. 

My eyes stayed focused on Seungmin, hoping that if I ignored Minho he might have the ability to vanish into thin air.

“I was taking it easy, Minho’s making this out to be a lot bigger than it is.” 

“I’m about ready to tie that arm down so you can’t use it.” He heckled again, trying to interject over me.

“Better yet just tie her to a chair, that’ll keep her on track.” Seungmin’s head tilted toward Minho with a grin. 

“Seungmin! Don’t encourage him!”

“Don’t be doing stuff I’ve explicitly told you not to do.” He shrugged before spinning his chair around, settling back comfortably and pulling his book back to him. “Now let me be, I was busy.”

“Oh please, all you were doing was reading.”

“Yes. Reading, alone, without a troublesome little masochist and her tattle-tale of a babysitter ruining my immersion. So if you would kindly, get out.” Seungmin shooed us with his hand, trying to ignore us as we shuffled out of the room in silence.

For the rest of the day, I tried my hardest to distract myself from the ticking clock. It felt like night couldn’t come fast enough, and no amount of movies or egging Felix on in his video games could make the time pass faster.

As the sun finally started to set, Felix stored his equipment away into his backpack, triple ensuring every piece needed was there. As we finally made our way downstairs, Seongho was already waiting in the foyer, informing us that Hyunjin was already outside warming up the car.

I skipped down the front steps of the home, nearing closer to the dark car with the engine humming, leaving Seongho and Felix to catch up behind me.

“Shotgun!” with a giggle I flung open the passenger door, sliding in beside Hyunjin with a grin. He returned my smile before his head leaned back, watching behind us as Seongho and Felix slipped into the back seat and fastened their seatbelts. As Hyunjin put the car in reverse, I watched as Chan stood in the front doorway, sending a small wave our way before turning back into the house and shutting the door behind him.

Chan had expressed a bit of worry about just Seongho, Felix and I making the trek to Blossom, instead asking if Hyunjin could join us for an extra line of security. Putting the original four back together in familiar territory.

The drive there was a noisy one, Seongho and Felix’s cackling laughter from the back seat echoing through the car at another joke, one that didn’t quite seem to make it to the punchline before they were breaking out into laughter again as if they could read each other’s minds.

Thankfully the noise levels provided a distraction, making the ride go by in what felt like a blink of an eye before Hyunjin was putting the car into park. Felix slung his backpack of equipment over his shoulder as we made our way down the dark alley.

“Hey, here’s your stop.” I nudged Hyunjin and pointed to a dark, smaller alley that branched off the main one, the same spot he hid in waiting the night Felix spoke to me outside. With a small smile and roll of the eyes he tried to ignore me, continuing forward to the door.

“Felix made me, he said I was too abrasive to get you to come with us.”

“Well, I can’t particularly say he was wrong.” I stepped to the side with a chuckle as I watched Seongho unlock the front door, before holding it open and letting each of us file in.

“You were scaring her, I told you leaving the note wasn’t the right decision.” Felix stepped in after Hyunjin, with me following closely behind.

“Yeah what the hell was that!? It was so ominous!” I hopped up onto one of the stools as Felix flung the backpack up onto the counter beside me.

“I just figured it was the easiest way to get the message to you.”

“Wait, what did they do?” Seongho slowly broke his gaze from Felix, staring back at me with confusion.

“Okay, do you remember the last night I was there, and Felix was by himself?”

“I think so?”

“Well the night prior to that, they slipped a note under my apartment door that literally just said we need to have a talk with my birth name on it. And when I finally came back to work for my next shift, this little shit-” my finger wiggled in Hyunjin’s direction as he let out a defensive Hey! “-was hiding outside in the alleyway the whole time.” I reached across the counter of the bar, grabbing one of the clean glasses and pointed to a bottle on the shelf as Seongho circled behind the bar.

I watched as he poured the liquid for me, before I graciously took the glass and took my first sip as the realization hit me.

“Wait a second, you guys totally followed me home the night you left the note, didn’t you?”

“Oh yeah.” Hyunjin laughed as he nodded, almost surprised it took me this long to notice.

“I fucking knew I was getting trailed!” I smacked my fist onto the counter with a huff of frustration. “I seriously couldn’t spot you guys anywhere, but the pit of my stomach wouldn’t let me rest until I made it home.”

“I told you it was a bad idea!” Felix punched Hyunjin’s arm, before turning back to Seongho. “Before we get too off track, wanna show me where the office is so I can get into these cameras?”

With a nod, Seongho gestured toward the back hallway, walking Felix back towards the employee rooms.

“Would you like your usual?” I started to stand, circling around the bar and offering Hyunjin’s regular.

“I actually kind of hate whiskey to be honest, so does Felix. He always made me finish his for him.” Hyunjin leaned back in his stool, crossing his legs and settling his hands in his lap.

“Then why the hell did you guys order them every time?” I rested my hands on the bar top, eyes squinting in confusion.

“Well I would have killed for a Carménère, but I highly doubted you guys had that in stock. I guess I just panicked and it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” ~~ “It always sounded cool when Changbin ordered them.” 

“Ah, of course you’re a wine snob.” I bent down to peek into the wine fridge, taking stock of the options now unfamiliar to me. “Closest I have is a Bordeaux, will that appease you Mr.Sommelier?”

“I would love that, thank you.” With a quiet laugh Hyunjin gladly took the glass from my hand, taking a soft sip with a smile.

"So have you always had expensive tastes or is that a consequence of the job?" I brought my glass back up to my lips, letting the alcohol burn on its way down.

“Oh I was born with taste, Hon. The job just made me enjoy the finer things every chance I get.” He swirled the liquid in the glass for a moment before holding it up with a smile. Hyunjin reclined back in his seat once more as Seongho came out to the main room, resting on his forearms against the end of the bar.

“So, if neither of you like whiskey, what does Felix like then? Seongho could whip something up for him.” I gestured over to Seongho with my thumb, who leans up from the bar to his full height, with a look of indignation.  

“Oh so you’re volunteering me then? Why don’t you make something for him?”

“Because I’m rubbish. And who wouldn’t want the world’s greatest bartender to mix their perfect drink?”

Seongho sighs and take his place behind bar, grabbing a tumbler from the dish rack

“So what’ll it be then?” he asked

“Something sweet, maybe fruity? He seems to like things like that.”.”

I reached out and slightly smacked the back of Hyunjin’s hand, watching as he quickly pulled it back and held it to his chest in surprise.

“How dare you make that poor boy drink whiskey when he’s a fruity drinker!”

“Oh that’s dirty.” Seongho laughed as he studied the bottles on the wall, trying to decide on what to make for Felix. The finalized drink was poured into a tall glass, a blended ombré of orange to yellow stretching up the glass as he topped it with an orange wedge, patiently waiting for Felix to complete his mission.

Before long, Felix had returned to the group. The act of connecting his system to the CCTV seemed like child’s play at this point for him, being able to clearly have a layout of the building stored away for Chan’s viewing.

I had gladly snuck to the side, bringing the sound system to life and letting the four of us have a night with the lounge to ourselves before making the trek back to the house.

A thought that hadn’t seemed to cross our minds was the actual act of returning to the house. Seongho, Felix and I were now pleasantly inebriated and shushing each other as we made our way up the steps. Felix and I had our arms slung over each other’s shoulders, trying to silence our giggling before slowly creaking the door open and sliding in.

With a roll of the eyes, Hyunjin pushed past the three of us and sat on a bench in the foyer, untying his shoes. I tried to steady Seongho as he swayed with his attempt to remove his own shoes, opting for no support from actually sitting.

Felix and I struggled to shush each other through our muffled giggling, him falling into me slightly before going rigid at a sight behind me.

I slowly turned to see Minho exiting from a room down the hall, head slowly rising to see us with a brow arched.

“Youuu should be asleep sir.” I said with a wiggling finger, his eyes growing wide as he stood slightly taken aback.

“I was asleep, until someone woke me up by fumbling in the door giggling late at night.”

“Why are you always insisting that I’m fumbling everywhere?” I groaned, head falling back in annoyance.

Minho slowly crossed over to me, face studying my own closely as a small grin grew on his cheeks.

“God, you’re plastered, aren’t you?” He chuckled, before turning to Hyunjin. “I thought Chan was sending you to keep these three in line, not let them drink themselves silly.”

“Listen, they did what they were sent to do. I wasn’t gonna stop them from having some fun afterwards.” He shrugged as he stood from his seat, waving off Minho and us as he started up the stairs. “They’re your problem now, have fun with that.”

Hyunjin’s chuckle echoed down the stairs as he turned down the hall towards his room, Minho slowly turning back to me with an amused smirk.

“I’m starting to think you may be a bad influence.” Minho’s hand rested on Seongho’s shoulder with a squeeze as he let out a lighthearted laugh.

“Bitch, she’s always been a handful.” Seongho slurred his words as his head lolled towards Minho, a considerable emphasis on the term of endearment. 

“WELL, don’t mind me while I FUMBLE my way upstairs now. GOODNIGHT!” I pushed past him with an arm in the air in declaration. Seongho and Felix followed suit, leaving Minho as he walked off toward the kitchen.

I face planted into my mattress at the sight of the soft blankets, the plush fabric enveloping me as I tried to steady my spinning head. I smiled as I pulled a pillow close to me, hugging it as my eyes started to grow heavy.

As sleep started to quickly take hold of me, a knock on the door quickly pulled me away from dreamland.

“Whaaat, was I fumbling too hard?” I grumbled into the fabric, turning back just enough to see Minho poking his head into the room.

“Here.” He set a glass of water down on the nightstand, a couple of pills sitting next to it. He watched for a moment as I let myself melt back into the sheets, before he let out a humored scoff and crossed to my dresser. He tossed a t-shirt and shorts onto the bed beside me, switching off the main light in lieu of the softer one on my nightstand. “Drink the water, I’m not taking care of you when you’re hungover.”

“I’m not taking care of you when you’re hungover.” I mocked back, my head lifting just enough to spew out the words before collapsing back into the pillow with a thud.

“Goodnight y/n.” He said with one final chuckle before the door latched behind him, leaving me in a peaceful silence once more.

I propped myself up with a groan, studying the clothes Minho had thrown out for me. With another puff of effort I willed myself to undress and struggled my way into them. Once I had, I threw myself back on the bed and buried myself underneath my waiting comforter. 

Turning to my side, the glass of water stared me down from the nightstand. A looming demand that my foggy brain took as a challenge. With a huff I flipped over to the other side, the deepest of desires to have the glass of liquid far from my line of sight. 

I tried to nestle my face into the sheets, trying to quiet the barrage of thoughts that hit me all at once.

In such a short amount of time, I would be face to face with G-Dragon and the guys again. Thus the start of our support team for what was to come with Ateez, and as much as I hated to admit it, Tiger JK. 

It truly felt like it was just yesterday I was arriving at the house for the first time, sitting around the table as each of the boys happily introduced themselves. I had the ability to sit in blissful ignorance of what was truly to come, and what secrets were going to unearth themselves.

I pulled the comforter over my eyes, blocking out any of the moonlight that poured into my room in pursuit of the welcoming embrace of sleep. This was all very real. Too real. And my head spun as I finally tried to make sense of everything that had occurred in such a short span of time.

I wasn’t quite sure when I had truly dozed off into slumber. All I knew was that as my eyes opened, I was aggressively squinting towards the morning light, hand shielding my face before burying myself under the covers.

If the pounding headache was here to tell me anything, it was definitely that I should have drank the damn water.

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@leagreenly @moonlight-the-writer @jamlessstars @venusmoonxnight @ishz @minbinboo

[skzoologist]

Hiya, I absolutely love your work

I'm not sure if you have already done this but could you do a sort of compilation of times Bae took care of each of the members

Thank you

word count: ~7.4k words, roughtly 800-1000 words per member

warnings: descriptions of getting a cold, Jisung having a bad mental day, Felix twisting his ankle (but the latter two are not thoroughly described)

genre: fluff with some angst sprinkled in

a/n: Hey-ho anon! First of all, I deeply apologise for making you wait for so long, I really meant to write and post this a week ago. But then I wanted to write more, so did, and then the word count just kept increasing... Second of all, thank you very much for requesting such a sweet scenario and for loving my work! It really brought a big, dorky smile on my face. I really hope you like it, I did my best! ^-^

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

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Bang Chan:

Their leader was doing it again, like always. It was a dance they had been doing for years now, a never ending cycle of exhaustion. He would lock himself in his studio -even remain there for several days if he had nothing else to do in his schedule- and just leave the others wondering about his well being.

The members would try to coax him out, usually to no avail. In the worst case scenario, Chan would even get angry and send them out, locking the door ultimately afterwards. It was never a pretty sight, so everyone was careful about their approach, as if they were in the enclosure of an angry predator.

But even with the chance of being yelled at, Bae always remained by Chan’s side.

He would go to the studio, even if he had a long day and it was nearing midnight, it didn’t matter to him at all. Bae would remain by the locked door with his back against the wall next to it, sitting on the floor on a pillow he always brought with himself in scenarios like this. He always knocked on the door when he arrived, but never expected an answer or for it to open.

So, he simply sat there, a big bottle of water and some easily consumable grocery food laying next to him. Bae left those there every single day, and when he arrived in the next, they were gone; so at least he could relax a bit, knowing Chan was eating and drinking at least that much every day.

Nonetheless, he worriedly remained in his place, chatting with the others on his phone -if they were still up, that is- and calming them a bit. It was a hard task to accomplish, seeing as this whole back and forth between him and Chan put a strain on his own well-being as well. He thought he could hide the eyebags and little yawns successfully, but the calculating eyes of Minho never failed to notice them. If he tried to avoid meeting with his feline resembling bandmate, he would be pestered into sending a selfie -god, his phone blew up so much it vibrated non stop-. He could never escape him and his nagging.

But that was how Bae was, putting others before himself and he couldn’t help it, especially not when he knew his beloved leader was putting so much work on his own shoulders. Just the thought pained him enough to put a permanent crease between his eyebrows, lips arching down slightly.

The sound of a lock clicking and a door opening broke him out of his thoughts, his eyes meeting with dull ones.

“Dal, what’re ya doin’ here?” - Chan slurred out, confusion written on his exhausted face. “Taking care of you.” - was the only answer that left Bae’s lips, his body already up, hands offering the prepared food and water to the older male.

With a heavy sigh, Chan accepted them and downed most of the water, if not all, before tearing open the plastic packaging of a bread bun and wolfing it down. Bae eyed him critically, making sure he ate everything well, not leaving a single crumb behind. As if sensing it, Chan showed Bae the empty packages before pocketing them to throw them away later. Satisfied, the taller one nodded and took Chan’s bag before he stepped in front of him. With a little crouch and a swift grab, Bae took Chan onto his back who just let out a strangled little noise in response.

“D-dal, what’re you doing? I can walk. Hey… Hey, Dal, can you hear me? Put me down, come on mate…” - but as he didn’t get a response, he sighed and finally accepted his fate.

Of course he got no response, Bae knew how stubborn the man was. The moment he let him down, Chan would stumble around and Bae would be forced to watch. It had happened before, so Bae adapted to it and changed his tactics to the current one.

Footsteps and quiet grumblings -cursing directed at him, for sure- were all one could hear as the two made their way to the dorms. Luckily they lived in the same one, so Bae wouldn’t have to walk back to his own one at the crack of dawn after making sure his leader was safe and resting.

By the time they reached the door, only soft snores could be heard, Chan’s breathing tickling Bae’s nape with every breath. He smiled, happy the man finally let himself fall asleep, at least for a little bit. He quietly made his way into the dorms, more specifically Chan’s room, not wishing to wake anyone up. Carefully placing the sleeping male onto the bed, Bae took off his shoes and tucked him in, blanket up to his chin.

Looking over the male one more time, Bae let out a satisfied sigh and took out his phone to take a photo. It was immediately uploaded into their group chat, thankfully no one saw it -it was 5 am after all- right away. Happy that everyone was now sleeping, Bae made his way into his own room, but only after glancing at Chan one last time.

Lee Know:

Bae’s menace of a hyung -even if only by a few months- was resilient, the man rarely got sick or hurt. He was precise in what he did, especially in their dance practices, so it was really worrying to see him make several smaller mistakes in a single session. But when confronted, he brushed them off and continued as if nothing had happened.

It continued like this for a few days, Minho looking worse and worse as time went by, but only slightly. His hair was a bit too dishevelled, he cleared his throat just a bit more than usual and asked back when he didn’t quite catch or understand what they said a suspicious amount of times.

None of it escaped Bae’s attention, and he quite frankly had enough of Minho just brushing them off as if nothing was wrong.

“Minho hyung, you’re sick.” “No, Bae, I’m n–” “You. Are. Sick.” Minho merely blinked back at the taller one, surprised he was talked back to so confidently.

“Oh damn, Bae hyung is not playing around anymore.” - Felix commented, Seungmin muttering a ‘Finally’ as everyone quickly left the room, leaving the two to battle it out. Not even Chan’s leader or hyung privileges could help in the situation, so with a pat on Bae’s shoulder, he left as well.

But before Minho’s sick brain could catch up and retaliate, Bae grabbed his wrist and dragged the male after everyone to the dorms. Naturally, halfway through Minho realised what situation he was in and started loudly whining, unsuccessfully trying to pull his hand out of Bae’s hold. No, the taller had none of it, he simply dashed towards Minho’s room and carefully, but firmly plopped the other onto the bed.

“Rest. I’ll be back.” - he said with a pointed stare, not even waiting for a response from the other.

On his way to the kitchen, he bumped into Seungmin and asked the younger one to make sure Minho didn't escape.

“What’s in it for me?” “You can ask me to do anything, even on camera.” “Sweet, jackpot.”

With his soul being sold to the devil, Bae continued on his way to the kitchen to make a nice, hot soup for his sick hyung. He probably caught a cold, if his sniffing and throat clearing was anything to go by, and that called for homemade chicken soup. Thankfully, everything he needed was available in the dorms -pros of having Minho as one of the residents-, so he could get started right away.

Whenever he could step away for a few minutes, he checked up on Seungmin, to see how he was doing and if he was doing his job. But with the rare reward he got in exchange, Seungmin dutifully did his job and held the door closed.

After an hour or two of cooking, Bae could finally grab a bowl and fill it with steaming, hot soup. Putting it on a tray along with the correct utensils, a glass of water and some medicine, he made his way to Minho's room. He thanked Seungmin for keeping their sick hyung in the room and went in, a dark pair of eyes immediately zeroing in on his form.

“Baeee, I told you I’m not sick.” - Minho whined from the bed, standing up to escape. “And I’m the Santa Claus.” - Bae replied, quickly putting down the tray onto the bedside table and grabbing onto the back of Minho’s shirt, swiftly dragging him back.

Naturally, this earned him a slew of whining and high-pitched noises, but only until the older’s throat gave out and his voice cracked, immediately turning raspy. Minho blinked and confusedly touched his throat, all the while Bae looked like he really wanted to say he said so.

But he didn’t, he wouldn’t.

Instead, he just gestured towards the bed with his head, his hyung sighing and finally giving up the fight, sitting down on the bed with his back propped up against the headboard. Not even a second later the tray was put into his lap, Bae sitting down next to him. He brushed a lock of hair away from Minho’s forehead, putting his hand on it afterwards. Thankfully the male didn’t really feel warmer, which earned a happy sigh from Bae.

“Thank you.” - quietly said Minho after he finished, the bowl and cup empty, medicine taken and being digested.

Bae simply nodded, a small smile forming on his lips at his hyung’s pout that freshly sat upon his face.

“Sleep, I’ll be back.”

And he would be, checking up on the male every few hours, and luckily so. By the morning Minho was absolutely done, the cold knocking the energy right out of him. The most he had the energy for was whining, something he constantly did, much to the annoyance of everyone, especially a certain someone.

“Baeeeeee, my head hurts, gimme a head massaaaaaaageeee.”

The man in question just closed his eyes and sighed, but stood up to saunter over towards Minho anyway.

The things he did for his bandmates.

Seo Changbin:

Changbin was always a very careful person around the gym, constantly making sure his and the others’ stances were good and proper. He never failed to help the others or ask for help if needed, not an ounce of shame or shyness in his voice while doing so -not like there was anything to feel like that for-.

That was why it caught everyone who were at their private gym by surprise when he let out a sudden yell, followed by the loud thud of a weight hitting the floor.

Chan was the first who reached him, quickly assessing the situation and taking control. Jisung was lingering nearby, anxiously following their every move and ready to dash and grab something if needed. It was chaotic, especially with Changbin’s loud cursing when he moved his arm in the wrong way, but the boys managed to support the injured dwaekki and got him to sit down while the physiologist arrived there.

Chan was no stranger to accidental injuries, he worked quickly and efficiently, hence why the first thing he did was calling a medical expert. In the meantime, Jisung updated the others via their group chat, his hands still slightly shaking from worry.

The few minutes they had to wait for the physiologist to arrive felt like hours, their heads already filled with countless scenarios about how severe the injury could be and how long it would take to heal. Don’t get them wrong, the most they worried about was their bandmate’s health, someone they spent so much time with they considered family. But being an idol was a demanding job, and a serious injury could have harsh consequences.

Thankfully, it was nothing like that, Changbin merely pulled a muscle and it would heal in a few weeks.

All three of them heaved out a relieved sigh, the physiologist smiling at their reaction, before giving instructions on what to do and leaving. The three went back to the dorms after that immediately, Changbin’s right arm now wrapped in bandage and resting in a sling. If he wanted it to properly heal fast, he had to rest it a lot and ice it too, so he had no choice but to begrudgingly wear the sling.

He didn’t like it one bit, his training schedule now completely turned upside down and he was not happy about it. The whole way there he whined, much to the dismay of the other two. But they endured it, already used to how the dwaekki usually was, especially when annoyed like this.

The moment they opened the dorm’s front door, 6 pairs of eyes greeted them back. Felix immediately rushed over to them from where he was pacing the room, looking over Changbin’s form and assessing the situation himself. As much as Changbin whined on the way over, he voiced nothing of the sort when he answered the sunshine incarnate, merely trying to calm the boy down.

Bae watched it all silently while he was listening to the physiologist’s instructions from Chan, the elder already knowing the situation would be completely under control with their tall member there. Bae nodded once Chan was done and with a pat on the shoulder, he left to check on Jisung and calm his anxiety if needed. A quick glance told him there was no need for such, the quokka already with Minho who expertly took the younger’s mind off of the accident.

So, Bae simply walked over to ruffle Jisung’s hair, then went over to his injured bandmate -who had a Felix stuck on his uninjured side like a koala- with a raised eyebrow.

“Yah, don’t look at me like that, it was an accident! I don’t know what happened, I guess I moved the wrong way or something.”

Bae hummed in reply with a slight nod, brushing a lock of hair away from Felix’s eyes and quietly asking him to move away. Once that was done, he ushered the loud little dwaekki onto the couch to rest, knowing fully well the man would not stay still alone in his own room. But even with all that, he refused to lay down.

“No, I don’t wanna!” “What do you mean?” “I don’t wanna just lay down and stay still!”

If looks could kill, Changbin would have been a dead man long ago. He noticed it too when he took a peek at Bae, so he quickly corrected himself.

“I will only lay down in your lap!” “... Eh?”

The tall man was shocked into silence, his ears already reddening before his mind could properly process what had happened. The others merely bursted into laughter, not that surprised by their bold bandmate.

“Just give up Bae hyung, you know how he is.” - Hyunjin added in, a sly smile dancing on his lips.

Curse them, they all enjoyed the situation a bit too much.

But Bae could only accept it all, since they were right: it was the only way Changbin would rest, and Bae cared for him more than he cared for his own pride. So, with a heavy sigh he sat down and patted his lap while looking anywhere, but his bandmates’ eyes. The sheer joy could be heard in the noise Changbin made and he wasted no time to situate his head comfortably on his victim’s lap.

Since he had to lay on his back to not aggravate his injury, he had the perfect view of Bae’s bashful expression, giggling at it in glee. He absolutely loved flustering his shy hyung, it was one of his favourite things to do. Bae merely playfully glared at him as he pressed a wrapped up ice pack onto his injured arm -that Chan passed to him-, revelling in the little hiss he let out in response.

“Yah, why are you so rough? Will you poke out my eye too when you’re feeding me??”

Yep, there went Bae’s normal skin complexion along with his ability to form sentences, all the while the others just watched in amusement -and maybe they filmed it too, who knows-.

Hwang Hyunjin:

It was a rare moment where they all had a little break from their hectic schedules and they decided to go to a water park, wishing to cool down on a hot summer day. Of course they would be filming there a bit too, but it was going to be much less strict compared to the shooting of a music video or the preparation for a tour.

Everyone was brimming with excitement, some even unable to contain it as they hopped around in place or pestered someone. Bae couldn’t blame them, really, he himself was extremely excited too, given how much he loved water and peacefully swimming in it. Naturally, this meant everyone teased him about being an otter -Jisung as their leader- just like his skzoo, but it was fine. Worst case scenario, he would drag them into the water with himself and reprimand them there, knowing it would shut them up for a solid 30 minutes before it all started up once again.

“Which car will you go in, Hyung?” - bounded over Felix, the epitome of energy.

Right, the park was an hour long drive away and because they were let go by themselves and weren’t driven around in a van, they had to split up.

But before Bae could even consider his options, a quokka and a cat grabbed his arms -one each- and stole him away, leaving a blinking Felix behind. It all happened so fast, Bae could only blink and gape like a fish out of the water after he was shoved into the backseat of a car, the perpetrators sitting in the front -with Minho driving- and quickly buckling up.

“Did you get kidnapped, Dal hyung?” - asked the soft voice of Hyunjin, who apparently sat next to him the whole time.

He simply nodded in response and quickly put on his seatbelt, seeing as the car already started up and they zoomed out of the parking lot.

“Yea, snatched him right out of Felix’s hold. You should have seen his face!” - laughed Jisung, his fingers already scrolling on his phone to search for a playlist and blast it through the car’s speakers. “Huh… Good job Han, you did something great for once in your life.” - Hyunjin replied as he scooted as close as he could to Bae and laid his head on the older’s shoulder. “Hey, what do you mean by that?!” “Oh you know what I mean.” “No I don’t, Mr. Drama Llama, please elaborate.” “You know, when you kept–” - but Bae flicked Hyunjin’s forehead before he could finish his sentence, earning a loud and dramatic whine from the younger.

He also glanced back at Jisung -who was clinging to the back of his seat so he could face them better-, who sputtered out an apology and turned back around as Minho just laughed in amusement at their antics.

“Why did you hit me so hard, aish.” “It wasn’t hard and you know it. Now come here, you dramatic princess.” “P-princess–”

But Bae turned Hyunjin’s head to face him anyway, gentle fingers swiftly soothing the slightly red skin on the younger’s forehead. This immediately shut Hyunjin up, as he now peacefully enjoyed the rare moment and caring touch of his shy hyung. Naturally, once it was over he resumed his spot on Bae’s shoulder and the car ride continued with relative peace amongst the lively chatting and loud music.

It was all fine and well until Bae sweeped his hand over Hyunjin’s forehead to tuck a stray lock of hair away, when he realised something was wrong. Hyunjin’s skin was slightly cold and clammy, a thin layer of sweat coating it. If Bae concentrated, he could hear how the younger’s breathing was slightly off; laboured and a bit forced.

“Jin?” - he gently asked, only earning a quiet hum in return.

This worried the older even more, making his eyebrows furrow in concern, something that Minho noticed from the rearview mirror and gave voice to it.

“Jin is not okay, can you pull over somewhere Hyung?”

No further elaboration was needed as silence took over the car, the lively chatter dead and the music reduced to a mere quiet background noise.

“Jin, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” - Bae tried once more, his hand now actively running through the younger’s hair in a calming effort. “Don’t feel good… Nauseous.” “Good job, thank you. Rest now, we’ll stop soon.” - Bae replied back, brushing his nose against the crown of Hyunjin’s hair as he glanced at the rearview mirror, eyes meeting with Minho’s who nodded to confirm they would indeed stop soon.

Jisung was already on the phone, talking to the others to tell them they would be late and that he would update them as soon as he could. Bae was really grateful he had such competent bandmates who he could call family, who he knew so well they could understand each other with no words.

The moment the car stopped, they all undid their seatbelts -Bae did it for Hyunjin, with the state the poor man was reduced to- and coaxed their sick bandmate out. It took a while, but when Hyunjin got out of the car he immediately hunched over and emptied his stomach, Bae holding his hair away and rubbing soothing circles into his back. The other two rummaged through the car for some water and a bag for Hyunjin in case of an emergency, not wanting to just stand around and do nothing while their friend suffered.

A few minutes of resting -and somehow making Hyunjin drink a bit-, they all sat back into the car.

“Jin, lay down.”

Even in a sick state this surprised the blonde, because it meant his head would be resting in his hyung’s lap.

“It’s fine, just lay down, don’t worry.”

Bae’s statement left no room for argument and with that, off they went to catch up to the others at the water park.

Han Jisung:

That day was no different from any other, everyone’s schedule full as they went their separate ways to get things done. Bae spent his whole day in the practice room alone, doing their new choreography over and over again, until it seared not only into his mind, but his muscles as well. And when that was done, he did it one more time for good measure before stretching down and tiredly walking back to the dorms he shared with half of the boys.

Upon arriving, he called out a loud greeting in case anyone was back already and indeed someone was, namely Hyunjin, who greeted him back. A quick chat later Bae went to shower and hole himself up in his room, but not to rest, rather to work away on his computer.

While he was not part of the 3racha and he didn’t edit songs, he still had his own computer-related studies he had to cram into his spare time. Thus, he put an earbud in -just one, in case he was needed by someone- to listen to some instrumental music as he slaved away in front of the bright screen in the dark room, the notion most probably damaging his eyes, but he couldn’t really care at that moment.

He was fully immersed in his work, mind focused on one task only, when suddenly a noise caught his attention.

It was so faint he almost missed it.

Pausing his music, Bae took out his earbud and swivelled around in his chair towards the door, waiting to hear the sound again and confirm he was not just hallucinating it -wouldn’t be the first time-. And sure enough, there it was, somehow even fainter than before. He didn’t hesitate for a second as he called out and invited in whoever was on the other side, although he had an inkling about their identity as this had happened before already.

The door opened up just enough for a dark mop of hair to peek through, nothing else could be seen from their dark silhouette due to the lack of light in the room. But Bae could tell, there was no doubt in his mind about who it was, saddened that it was one of those days again.

“It’s alright, come in Ji.” - he called out gently with a nickname he only used when needed.

Jisung stepped into the room and closed the door, but did not really approach his hyung, he merely fidgeted in place -only told by the rustling sounds one could hear from the darkness-. Knowing how things went by now, Bae patted his leg in silence and carefully watched as Jisung slowly made his way over to him and climbed into his lap.

With his knees folded, head buried in the crook of Bae’s neck and arms tightly wound around his hyung’s form, Jisung seemed small, extremely so. His vulnerable form softened Bae’s eyes immediately, the elder hugging his form into himself even more if possible.

“Hard day, baby?” - he hummed out, his protective and doting side taking over as he drew little shapes into Jisung’s back and sides.

All he got was a weak nod in response before the younger buried his head deeper into the crook of his neck, a broken breath leaving his tiny form.

There were days when everything got too much for Jisung, when the weight on his shoulders felt impossibly heavy, crushing his very soul; when he felt like he couldn’t go on any longer, like he just wasn’t enough. And on those days, if he had enough power, he seeked out one of his calmer, quieter bandmates. It was normally Bae, especially after their dorm change, because he was the one around when needed. But the taller one didn't mind this one bit, he simply opened his arms and silently welcomed the other every single time without fail, mending the unseen wounds just with his calming presence.

They stayed cuddling like that for minutes or for hours, none of them knew; the computer screen had turned off due to inactivity a long time ago.

In the dark room only the occasional rustling of clothes could be heard, along with Bae’s mindless humming, his soft voice a calming companion.

Soon enough, the slowly calming breathing that tickled his neck evened out, turning deeper as the hold on his clothes weakened with every breath the younger took. Bae patted Jisung’s head, fingers gently gliding through soft locks of hair before he carefully tightened his hold on the sleeping male’s form and stood up. He only had to take a few steps to reach his goal: his bed, still untouched from when he made it that morning, so he skillfully peeled the blanket away with one arm and delicately placed Jisung down, tucking him in. The younger’s grip was still strong, he barely managed to break away from it without waking the other up, just so he could change into his pyjamas quickly.

Before Jisung could start tossing around, undoubtedly looking for him, Bae slipped back into the bed and watched with a warm expression as the little quokka’s hands immediately found his shirt and latched onto it.

“Good night, Ji.” - he muttered out, the exhaustion he had been ignoring was coming back with full force. But if this was the price to help the others, he would do it in a heartbeat all over again.

Lee Felix:

Their younger little aussie was flexible and talented when it came to doing dance moves that were on the more dangerous side, they all knew he would be fine. But that did not stop them from worrying whenever he got the bright idea of doing a dangerous tiktok or a random taekwondo move out of nowhere. If Chan was nearby, he would immediately put down whatever he was doing and give the boy all his attention, ready to move and catch him if needed. Sometimes it was needed, sometimes not, but usually everything turned out fine in the end. They would laugh it off after Chan sent Felix a reprimanding glare, the latter not attempting to do the move once again in fear of his dad’s wrath.

Such was the law of the jungle.

But Chan wasn’t there with them at the moment, no, it was only Felix and Bae in the practice room, fooling around. Well, the younger was, dragging his hyung along in the process, knowing fully well Bae couldn’t really say no to his younger bandmates and their charm.

“Come on Bae hyung, it will be fun!” - Felix pleaded, hands swinging one of Bae’s around in desperation. “No, Lixie, we won’t do it. No one else is here to catch you if needed, I don’t want you to get hurt.” “But pleaaaase…” “No, and that’s final.”

With that, Bae gently pried his hand out of Felix’s hold and went to his phone to put on some music to practice to, shaking his head when he heard the younger quietly calling him ‘no fun’. He would gladly be the most boring person if it would mean the ones he cared about were safe, but of course, things had to go wrong.

All he heard were the squeak of a shoe, a thud and a yell before he turned around so fast he became lightheaded.

There laid Felix on the floor, his left ankle bending a bit too much than it should be able to. Bae didn’t hesitate a moment to grab his phone -tearing out the cord that connected it to the speakers- and sprint over towards his fallen bandmate, sliding on his knees in the process.

“Lixie, look at me and tell me where it hurts.” - he started questioning, his hands on the sides of Felix’s face. “I–... Nowhere? I’m fine, Hyung, why?” “Okay, it hasn't hit you yet. That’s fine-, no, Lixie, look at me, stop squirming around. Whatever you do, don’t move your left leg, okay? Do that for me, please?” “Woah, I haven’t heard you talk this much in a while.” “Just promise me, okay?” The younger boy nodded -as much as he could in Bae’s hold- and watched his hyung type away on his phone and put it up to his ear.

He felt fine, really, but based on the rushed reaction of Bae, he must have successfully injured himself. It wasn’t his goal at all, he just wanted to move around a bit, but… Guilt ate away at his soul, remembering how his hyung warned him exactly of this situation.

“I’m sorry, Dal hyung.” “I’ll do that, yes and– Felix? Why are you sorry?” - Bae asked confusedly, his attention now split between the phone and the injured sunshine incarnate. “You warned me and yet–” - Felix tried to say, but failed as a hiss left his mouth, face scrunched up in pain. “Alright, see you later Hyung. And Felix, it’s okay, we’ll talk about it later. For now, just continue keeping your promise and wait here. I’ll be right back.” - Bae replied with a small smile on his face as he patted Felix’s head once more and stood up, sprinting out of the room, somehow managing to pocket his phone in the hasty process.

It didn’t take long for him to get back, to Felix it was over literally in the blink of an eye as all he could do was grimace through the pain, teeth on the brink of breaking from how tight he was grinding them together.

“This will be cold, I’m sorry Lixie.” - was all the warning he got before cold mixed together with the pain, earning a loud hiss and a muffled grunt from him.

Scooting closer to his face as much as he could, Bae started carting his fingers through Felix’s hair in a calming effort, desperately hoping it would work.

“Chan hyung and the others will be here soon, along with the medics. Just a bit longer, Lix.” - he hummed out, voice even and steady.

But as much as he tried to hide it, his hand shook for a second and he wished the younger didn’t feel it. He didn’t want to make him feel worse or make him panic too, so he hid his own feelings with a gulp of air, putting on a composed exterior.

Felix would be fine, it was probably just a sprain; at least he kept telling himself while simultaneously holding the cold soda can gently to the younger’s leg and petting his head.

Suddenly the door bursted open and he was gently ushered away, only being able to watch as Felix was quickly taken away to be properly checked over and treated. He simply knelt there and watched, the world seemingly cold and numb to him. He could barely register the touch on his shoulder that never left his side ever since everyone arrived, how it softly squeezed the flesh there and drew little circles in place.

His name sounded a bit far away, but a blink later everything crashed back into him.

“Chan, I was so scared.” - he muttered into the crook of the elder’s neck, his shaking body in his hyung’s steady hold. “I know Dal, I know. It’s gonna be alright.” - Chan whispered back, face buried into Bae’s neck as well, the rarely ever seen scared form of his bandmate worrying him.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay.”

Kim Seungmin:

They were all at a photoshoot, getting ready for their next comeback with full force and determination. Everyone was excited about it and they couldn’t wait to see STAYs reaction to their new album. The boys desperately hoped they would like it, since all of them really poured their heart and soul into each song and music video. Every single day was spent working on it, from morning till night, and as much as they loved their jobs, they were starting to get a bit tired of it.

“Hey, Dal hyung, you wanna come over tonight? We could watch some marvel movies.” - Jeongin suddenly asked after they were finished with the shooting. “Oh? Yeah, come over Bae hyung, we all can do a marvel movie marathon tonight!” - Felix joined in the moment the word ‘marvel’ hit his ears, a wide grin already sitting on his freckled face.

Not expecting this even after so many years -he really should have been used to it by now-, Bae simply blinked at the two pleading faces in front of him. Knowing that it would be loud with the rowdy boys, he worriedly glanced at the two remaining roommates: Seungmin and Minho.

But before he could even open his mouth to voice his concerns, the two answered it for him.

“No, Dal hyung, it’ll be fine. So come over freely.” “Bae, don’t even think about refusing it, or I will personally drag you over, so shush.” Well, that settled it, so Bae simply nodded and watched as Felix and Jeongin did a happy little dance, somehow dragging Seungmin into it in the process.

After getting their makeup taken off, they were all ready to go back and Bae told his roommates about his nightly plan. Naturally, since it wasn’t a rare occurrence, all he got were ‘Have fun’ wishes and rough headpats that left him disoriented.

It didn’t take them long to arrive back in the dorms, everyone quickly changing into comfy clothes the moment their feet were free from their shoes; even Bae, who had a small stash of clothes for whenever he stayed over. He wasn’t allowed to move a finger even in getting the snacks ready, so he simply sat on the sofa with Seungmin, who was somehow roped into joining them.

The boy looked like the definition of exhaustion, his hair dishevelled and looking like a bird’s nest at best, his eyes slightly unfocused and duller than usual. “Minnie, you can go to bed, it’s okay.” - Bae softly spoke out, afraid that if he spoke any louder, the boy would startle. But Seungmin simply shook his head sluggishly, adamant in his decision of staying up with everyone else.

The older could only let out a sigh of acceptance, his attention taken away shortly afterwards by the other 3 appearing in the room; hands full of snacks of every kind. And then the problem came: who would sit on the other side of Bae? It was always a full on war between the boys, wanting to cling to the taller and tease him until he turned red. Bae couldn’t stop it, trust him, he tried so many times in the past.

Instead he let them fight it out, their sly little maknae sitting next to him while Felix and Minho were busy cat-fighting. Their reaction when they finally noticed was priceless and Bae couldn’t help but burst into laughter. The two could only grumble as they sat on the other side of the sofa, Felix having to hold Minho back as Jeongin made funny faces at him.

A quick forehead flick later, Bae put on the first marvel movie -they were watching them from the beginning, according to the timeline- and let the maknae seize one of his arms as a pillow. He didn’t need it anyway.

As time went by the snacks dwindled in number until none was left even before the end of the first movie. No one else seemed too sleepy yet, all except Seungmin, whose body slowly but surely started slumping against Bae’s side. The older didn't mind one bit, letting their little menace sleep on his shoulder peacefully. Even when Jeongin noticed the sleeping puppy and tried to poke at him, Bae quickly put a stop to it, knowing how rare it was for Seungmin to just fall asleep in the middle of doing something. The boy clearly needed some rest, and he would be damned if he didn’t let him have it.

Bae continued on with his guard duties until the end of the marathon, but he didn’t have a hard time as Jeongin fell asleep too, later joined by Felix. His arms were completely numb by now, so he carefully wiggled them out one by one and waited for some feeling to return in his tingling fingers. Unfortunately, the notion stirred the youngest awake and Bae immediately apologised, but was brushed off by the yawning maknae.

“I said don’t worry, I’ll just go to bed now. Good night guys.” He was quickly followed by Minho and a now awake Felix -Minho may or may not have shaken him awake violently-, only Bae and a sleeping Seungmin remaining.

Looking over at the younger, Bae let out a fond sigh and picked him up into his arms, careful not to jostle him too much. He already knew where everyone’s rooms were like the back of his hand, so it wasn’t hard for him to find Seungmin’s room and carefully tuck him into bed.

He knew how hard the younger was working, how much he sacrificed for the band and he wished he would give himself some slack.

“Good night, Minnie.” - with one final, gentle pat on the head, Bae quietly walked out of the sleeping puppy’s room.

Yang Jeongin:

“Innie.” - Bae’s voice cut through the silence, firm and cold even over the mask he put on. “No, I won’t let you in.” - came the raspy reply, voice muffled by the locked door. “Jeongin.” “Nooo, go away!” “Yang Jeongin!”

After a minute of silence, only a sigh and some shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door, before a click cut through the air, indicating the path inside was clear. Bae didn’t hesitate to go inside not even a second later, a tray of warm soup and medicine balanced on one of his hands.

“But now you might get sick too…” - muttered Jeongin before sniffling, quickly reaching for a tissue for his stuffy nose.

His hyung merely placed down the tray on his desk and gestured towards it, giving him no choice but to sit down and slowly eat the still scalding hot liquid.

“I don’t care, Innie. I did the same with Lino hyung, you are no different.” - Bae answered simply as he sat down on the bed, watching the younger’s movements closely.

Jeongin did not look okay. The cold he caught -most probably from Minho- just did him dirty: he couldn’t breathe through his nose, his voice was raspy and almost gone, his breathing was forced and heavy. Not to mention the coughing rushes that sometimes attacked him, every single one sounded as if he was going to cough his whole respiratory system up. Just hearing it made anyone nearby flinch, eyebrows furrowed in worry and pity.

Naturally this meant Bae too, the man having rushed over the moment he heard of the news.

This surprised no one of course, as it was a common occurrence, hence why they teasingly called him mom sometimes. That earned them a lesson, which consisted of being chased around and tickled to death, but they never stopped with it. Bae had to accept his fate, just like he did before he came into Jeongin’s room with the soup and medicine. No matter, he would get them for it later, he had already made a mental note for it.

Seeing as how the younger had finished eating, Bae stood up and went to the headboard of the bed, stacking the pillows and plushies up so the sick little fox could lean against them and hopefully sleep in a half-sitting position finally. Glancing back at him, the older noticed the untouched packet of medicine hidden behind the bowl, a sad attempt made by Jeongin.

“Innie…” - he sighed out, already walking back towards the other. “W-what? I finished, Hyung.” - Jeongin stuttered out, his hands hovering above the tray, not knowing where to grab. “You didn’t take your medicine.” “I-I did!” “Innie…” “  Sigh  Fine, I didn’t. But it tastes horrible, I hate it!” - the younger pouted, arms crossed in front of his puffed up chest.

It was an adorable sight, even with how sick he was.

“Hmm, then I guess I’ll eat this by myself.” - Bae replied as he took out a packet of sweets from his shirt’s pocket.

Just by the gasp it elicited, he knew he had won, he had gotten one of Jeongin’s favourites after all.

“Buuut, I’ll let you have it if you take that medicine for me.”

He didn’t even have to wait for a reply, the maknae simply tore the packet open and after dissolving its contents in a cup of water, downed it in one go. Face scrunched up in disgust, Jeongin blindly held out his hand for his prize and Bae gave it to him, even offering an extra head pat as a reward.

Satisfied, Jeongin’s face immediately brightened up as he opened the packet and happily munched away on the sweets. It was amusing to watch, especially how he did a happy little dance after an extra delicious piece. It was probably thanks to the sickness and its numbing effects on the mind, but Bae didn’t mind it one bit. Jeongin kind of reminded him of Hyunjin at the moment and his little americano dance. Either way, he watched the younger absolutely devour the pack of candy with amusement dancing in his eyes, his lips arching upwards under the mask at the sad pout once the sick little fox realised there was no more candy.

“Alright, time to rest now Innie.” “I don’t wannaaaaa.” “Don’t whine at me, I know you couldn’t sleep at night because of your nose. Now use your nose spray and get into bed.” “Yes moooooom…” - Jeongin mocked Bae, but with a sharp glare he quickly stopped and did as he was told to do, sitting in bed not even a minute later.

Bae saw how the maknae’s eyes started drooping, the spray working -at least for a while- and allowing him to breathe through his nose. So, he gently pushed the younger into the wall of pillows and carefully carted a hand through his dark mop of hair.

“Good night, Innie. Have sweet dreams.” - he whispered, Jeongin already at the edge of sleep as he took the empty tray with him and tiptoed out of the room, turning off the overhead lights on his way out.

[olderthannetfic]

audience question: what books/movies would you give (or have given) your kids to become their formative media? i'm interested to see what makes the cut 👀

--

I'd let them have access to my library. If it's a book, I'll let them figure out when they're ready to handle it.

(Works fine as long as you're a decent parent and answer questions that come up without being a weirdo about it and freaking them out so they never ask you anything again.)

For films and other things... hmm... it's tricky because all of the formative tings for me were the genre I'd call Weird Art Films About Weird Sex.

If my kid were shaping up to be that kind of weirdo at 14, maybe I'd leave some of these around, but I think it would be pretty intrusive to thrust them upon anybody outside of a film school seminar. Maybe Harold & Maude. My parents rented that when I was a tween. It made An Impression. It's rare for me to see something even two or three times, but Harold and Maude I've seen dozens.

I still think the opening to Harold and Maude is one of the best of any film:

You immediately know what kind of people both of these characters are and that this isn't going to be a simple comedy, dark or otherwise.

The first time I watched it, I knew nothing about the film and was surprised at both this and all of Harold's other antics. It's hilarious until it isn't. It's a movie about zest for life vs. wanting to die, and it walks an interesting line tonally. I remember rewatching it to show it to friends in college... and for the first time understanding that look Harold gets when he sees Maude's arm.

--

There was definitely media I loved pre-puberty, but the things I remember are all like Nancy Drew.

I consumed vast quantities of mystery, and it's probably why I'm a mystery novelist today, but I don't remember anything specific that feels formative in other ways. I wouldn't try to stop a kid from reading trash. I remember how infuriating it was to have adults constantly trying to make me read something "better" than Nancy Drew. But I wouldn't specifically hand my kid those or any of the other formulaic junk series (Sweet Valley High et al.). They'll find whichever ones are popular at the time just fine.

--

There's a very particular feeling of my brain lighting up that I remember mostly from my teen years. Those media made me quiver and have to pause the movie. I felt seen or maybe I felt too much to handle. That's the feeling I associate with formative media for me.

Here are the ones that instantly spring to mind even after all this time:

Velvet Goldmine - Music fan investigates the glam rockers of his youth, meditating on his sexual awakening and trying to solve the mystery of where one of them went. Ewan McGregor's tweet is the sequel. I will accept no other outcome.

Crash - James Spader at the peak of his beauty falls into the world of car crash fetishists who are dealing with the ennui of modern life and the alienation of the big city and technology by becoming perverts. Contains people going down on scars and tattoos, fetishy leg braces, and what teen me assumed was homoerotic subtext. (Spoiler: it was not subtext.)

Matador - A serial killer murders her victims like a bullfighter would; she stalks her favorite retired bullfighter who is also a serial killer. Antonio Banderas plays a dweeb like always in Spain. (The rest of Almodóvar's 80s and 90s movies were also favorites.)

Kissed - The fluffy necrophilia movie

The City of Lost Children - Less horny, but what is up with Miette and One's vibe? Visually a feast. Ten times the movie Amélie is. Sorry, not sorry.

Cemetery Man - Rupert Everett kills zombies in this bizarre Italian horror movie based on a comic book character drawn to look like Rupert Everett. My stepfather thought it looked like something I'd like and rented it for one of my birthday parties in high school. Around the time of the quasi necrophilia sex scene I realized 1. he'd chosen well and 2. he had clearly not read the back too carefully.

The Pillow Book - Japanese-Chinese novelist named after Sei Shonagon has a battle of literary wits with the publisher who blackmailed her father into sex with him. Involves a lot of calligraphy on naked men, including Ewan McGregor.

Sex, Lies & Videotape - Unfulfilled housewife has her world turned upside down when her shitty husband's college best friend comes to visit. This dude has become unable to be with women after a bad breakup and interviews and videotapes women discussing their masturbation habits for his own private use. Contains a famous and stupid quote about men falling in love with the people they sleep with and women becoming more and more attracted to the people they love, but the movie is far less gender normative than the character saying that.

Tesis - Uptight film student who pretends not to like violence decides to do a thesis on violence in Spanish media. Her advisor dies while watching a mysterious tape he got from somewhere. She steals it, finds out it's a snuff film, and investigates with the help of a creepy horror film nerd.

The best scene is when they're watching some violent shit she asked him for ("for her thesis") and she says "What kind of people watch this stuff?"

He answers: "You, for example."

That one I discovered when my roommate in Japan was watching it a couple of years after college. Many of these I saw in high school. That's the range where I remember things being particularly formative. Or maybe it's about what I'm open to at different points in my life: I think weird art films can still make me feel too much, but I don't always like that feeling, and I don't seek them out as much now.

Knife+Heart made me flash back to that era though. It's a neon-drenched period piece about a lesbian director of artsy gay male pornos investigating a serial killer targeting her actors. The sheer levels of meta insanity and horny murder scenes, my god!!!

Running through all of these are themes of ambiguous sexuality, often queer but also non-genitally-focused, massive quantities of voyeurism, meditations on what it means to be a fan, and a boatload of death=sex=death vibes.

--

That's not quite what you asked, but basically, my own formative media isn't something I'd share with just anyone. If people want to watch necrophilia-filled art films of the 90s, I think they need to choose that for themselves.

I guess all that access to Beatrix Potter and watching basically no TV other than Mystery! or Masterpiece Theater (i.e. UK costume dramas catering to a teaboo market and co-funded by the US) during my early childhood had an effect. So did going to schools where we studied Asian American history and read Dragonwings.

None of those media stand out. I'd share them with my kid, but one example is as good as another. Knives Out delivers substantially the same experience as most of them. Watching whatever anime is hot now will be as good as watching the anime I liked when I was young.

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Review: Unforgiven (Eastwood, 1992)

(I haven't posted a review on Tumblr in a hot minute -- I've been keeping those to Letterboxd -- but I tried to get a few words out about this movie and wanted to share here as well. I love it a lot. Those are always hard to write about for me. This is embarrassing. Thanks for reading. Or not! Consider watching Unforgiven if you haven't!)

"It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."

Unforgiven is just one of those movies for me. It hits me like a bolt of lightning every time I watch it. I first watched it when I was in high school, when I was first getting into movies by way of poring over Oscar history. I didn't think of myself as a westerns guy at the time -- I'm honestly not even sure how many I'd seen by that point -- but Unforgiven almost immediately made me fall in love with the genre as a whole. It was a little bit like discovering my first Stephen Sondheim musical: "Oh, that's what this can be?"

Admittedly, I've been way less rabid about consuming westerns than I have been with musical theatre (and I'm certainly not a Clint Eastwood megafan). Still, it's a genre I find endlessly fascinating, and it's almost entirely because of how deeply literary they often feel. More than any other genre, individual characters in westerns seem to represent so much more than just themselves. I'm sure there's a great thesis to be written about the ideologies represented in Unforgiven in just the characters of William Munny and Little Bill Daggett alone, to say nothing of Ned Logan or the Schofield Kid or Strawberry Alice or English Bob or W. W. Beauchamp or Delilah.

(My God, what a cast of characters. What a script.)

And then there's the beautiful prologue and epilogue, perfectly bookending the film -- the cruelty, the loss, the violence -- with a bittersweet sense of poetry. Maybe cinema was invented so Eastwood could match Jack N. Green's cinematography with David Webb Peoples' words and accompany them with an aching guitar (the gorgeous "Claudia's Theme," which Eastwood wrote himself). All I have to do is think about the final words of the epilogue, to visualize Mrs. Ansonia Feathers visiting her daughter's grave, and I feel my eyes begin to well up.

I think that love story is what keeps me coming back to Unforgiven. We never see Munny's wife, just like we never see Munny before his marriage, that "man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition." To us, he's just a widower -- an aging man with a surprising gentleness who can barely take care of his hogs. Eastwood, it should be said, gives a gorgeous performance.

I love everything about this movie, even the parts that make me feel queasy. I love the Munny/Ned dynamic (Morgan Freeman is great in his short screen time). I love how vile of a bad guy Little Bill is (Gene Hackman's second Oscar was well-earned). I love getting heady about it and thinking about it as a deconstruction and an elegy for the westerns of Eastwood's youth. I even love how almost fatalistic the film gets near the end ("I'll see you in Hell." "Yeah.").

But it's the entirely offscreen love story that lingers with me. On this watch, the following exchange Munny has with Delilah, the brutalized sex worker at the center of Unforgiven's conflict, caught me completely off-guard and made me start crying almost immediately. Munny's wife, a woman we never meet, is a symbol of hope and redemption in a vicious world. Their love for one another is the heart of the film.

"Is she back in Kansas?" "Yeah, she's watching over my young ones."

[bellysoupset]

hi soup!! I love your stories and as a new reader I wanted to ask, how did your universe come to be? Did it start off with one or two characters and the cast expanded from there? How much of it is planned and how much do you just write and see where it goes, if that makes sense? I’m thinking of writing a series like yours at some point :)

- ☂️

Hi ☂️! How are you?

Here on tumblr first I dabbled with a bit of urban fantasy, which is one of my favorite genres, but soon the plot kinda consumed me and I started to have this super complicated plot ideas, but no motivation to write them. So I decided to dial down and go back to "what's the most basic world I can write?"

That's how Luke and Bell were born, two college kids, nothing else. Then obviously, if I'm saying Luke is captain of the football team and I love bromance, I needed to give him a bestie and a frenemy. Jonah and Vince were born like this. Then Leo was just because I love "the baby" of the group. Wendy came later, I wanted someone to challenge Vince. And finally Max now because I wanted some change!

Nothing was planned, the only rule I set to myself was that I wouldn't overthink (or honestly even think lol) when writing the Dumbasses. I write a lot of vanilla stuff with very detailed, plotty worlds, and I wanted to keep the stakes purposefully low here, so I never get "oh my god, I'm ruining my plot" fright, you know?

Now, because I was lowkey forced to organize all my writing into a big document for archiving purposes (I'm always scared tumblr will die on me and I'll lose everything), I finally have a clearer outline, but that has pretty much never been the case. Before this year started I never ever put out "what's coming next" lists, because I never knew what would be coming next.

And even then... I barely follow my list lol.

I'm super excited to see what you come up with, ☂️! Would you be writing kinky or vanilla? What's the plan?

I hope this helped some and if you have any questions, my inbox is always open!

[eddiestattoos]

Writer Interview!

Tagged by @aintgonnatakethis 💙💙💙

About me

When did you start writing?

I mean. Of course I did writing projects in high school but as far as personal stuff (aka my fics) I was 20

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I mean, sure! I got nothing specific off the top of my head but considering my writing spectrum isn't spectacularly broad, I've been sure to have read something outside of my writing topics

Is there an author you want to emulate or are compared to often?

I've never been one to try to copy others. I admire a ton of y'all and wish I could do better at that in some aspects, but I'm not about to take the words off anyone else's paper so to speak

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

Generally me, my laptop, on my bed. Some kind of music playing. Generally one of my fandom playlists and most commonly on the weekends

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I honestly... do not have an answer for that. It's a delicate daydream most of the time I guess. My delicate I mean fleeting. I can lose the plot

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write

Well I mean technically my mother did get me into the show I wrote my first fic for but as far as where I've taken some of those? Gotta say no

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

I am a sucker for h/c in any form (emotional, sickfic, injury, etc). Which I mean. Isn't an entire shocker, considering what I've been interested in television and story wise. It's not all my fics but it's around.

About My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

I don't know much about the characters that are consuming much of my brain right now so we won't get into that. So let's talk about Sara Sidle (and Nick Stokes). They have such a beautiful sibling dynamic (and there's a ton of shippers out there who are totally valid I see you). Anyway I've talked about Nick in detail (here). But Sara. She's far from my favourite character on the show but she is a character I've particularly enjoyed writing (especially with him). I have the same vibe with Chloe from Smallville. Very fun to write, not my fave to watch in the first half (and this rewatch I'm currently on hasn't helped)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Welp I don't have ocs really so I'm gonna say Sam Carter. I'll join the shopping trips with her and Vala. (I got stuck on this one ok. But she is very sweet I love her we could be friends)

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Rodney McKay. More than likely.

Tell me about the process of coming up with characters.

Again, not an oc girly. But if I do add a side character to a story, it's always one that's connected to a canon character in some way (child, long lost friend, kid they mentored)

Do you notice any recurring traits/themes in your characters?

Nothing specific, no. I don't think so

How do you picture your characters?

My loves, my babies, my besties, my friends. I love these silly guys

About My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

It's a hobby, something I enjoy. I decided to start writing the random daydream csi fic one day and haven't turned back

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Honestly? Anything positive. Any joy y'all have in reading is joy I take into writing more. Especially with this long sga project I took on. Some days I'm like this is a massive hole I dug and then there's even a "great update" and I'm like thank you thank you thank you

How do want to be thought about by your readers?

I'm just trying my best out there, I hope people enjoy what I write. And I'm open to chatting do come by we can talk we can be friends!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think I never lose the essence of the character. I'll always take pride in my characterization skills

Have you been told your greatest strength as a writer by others?

I do remember a couple comments about good poignancy in particularly emotional moments. Which I will definitely take. I do love those scenes and the one in particular is one of my proudest

How do you feel about your own writing?

I love it. Some of it's bad, cringey even. But I am not immune to rereading and thoroughly enjoying my own work

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

It's a strong possibility. It'd be a way to keep entertained. And as I said. Will reread.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

I mean it's mostly me, I can't lie. But I have done a couple requests. I'm not actively seeking them but it's been fun when I have. But not to sound like a broken record, rereads! I stick to where I'm comfortable and what I'm comfortable putting out there from me for people to see

Tagging @sga-owns-my-soul @hearteyesmcgarrett @ilkkawhat @jencsi @malcolm-reeds-pineapple and any other writers! Do tell if you wish! Consider me your interviewer!

(PS sorry to snag this but there's a handy template for either mobile or desktop here at the end)

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, September 11th, 2024.

What’s one thing you really want right now? For the recent drama at the animal shelter to blow over. On one hand, I'm kicking myself for opening my big mouth about Alex (because it's a problem that would have more or less solved itself with patience and time), but on the other hand, I'm oddly relieved. Now I'll admit that I'm no paragon of virtue - I've engaged in a bit of idle gossip; I've talked a bit of crap - but she's just relentless. Going forward, I need to have a big think about how to more effectively nip these situations in the bud, as well as whether or not gossip (etc) is something in which I want to participate in any capacity. I'm leaning toward trying to avoid it at all costs, no matter the temptation, no matter how "weird" it makes me seem; because if Alex is the embodiment, then I don't want to be even a tiny fraction of that. But yeah - I told Kristen and Riley about some of the things Alex has said, and Kristen thought it was bad enough to take to management, so I was like, "If you do, then I'll back you up if you need it." Management made her out to be the problem, so I was like, "...Welp. Hey Riley, you wanna back me too?" She did, and we talked to management as well. I don't know if it will make any difference, but there was no way I was going to let Kristen stand alone when she was not the so-called "source of negativity." She was the recipient of it.

Is there anything you’re looking forward to? The Chili Festival. Not this weekend, but next weekend. I might take a day off from volunteering to check it out.

Are you in love? I am not.

Is love even existent at your age? Does anything even exist at my age?

When was the last time you exercised enough to break a sweat? Probably sometime recently at the shelter. Except it would have been less about the exercise and more about the fact that it was just fvcking hot.

Have you been annoyed at someone/something today? Yeah. I hate that I'm good at overthinking and bad at letting things go. It puts such a strain on what would have otherwise been a very relaxing day.

Are you avoiding anybody at the moment? I was on Tuesday, but technically not today or tomorrow because I would be off anyway.

Is rap your favorite genre of music? No, but I don't mind it from time to time.

Are you one of those people that gets jealous easily? Yeah, but I try to reason with myself and not let it get in the way of things. It's such a complicated emotion because it's tied in with a fear of abandonment, my sense of self-worth, etc. I think I've come a long way in terms of dealing with it, but there are definitely times when it rears its ugly head.

What was your favorite show as a kid? Dragon Ball Z, Yu-Gi-Oh, Are You Afraid Of The Dark, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, etc.

Do you get along with your whole family? I get along very well with my dad. I also get along with my mom, but it still feels a bit superficial. I don't get along with my sibling.

When was the last time you were sick? Aside from migraines, I had a cold last Oct-Nov.

What’s one thing you want to tell somebody right now? There's nothing I really want to tell anyone.

How are you today? I'm like a random grab-bag of emotions, but if I set all of that chaos aside…I'm good.

Has anybody close to you passed away in the last six months? No.

Have you ever lasted a relationship longer then two months? Yeah.

At the moment, what’s your favorite song? I don't have one.

Are you obsessed with anything? Aside from volunteering (I must be obsessed because it consumes such a large portion of my life and I feel like I can't step away), I'm not sure. I definitely have interests and enjoyments, but I'm not [LOCKED IN] to a particular hyper fixation atm.

Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? It is legal here.

Is it safe to walk around your neighborhood at night? Mmmm…it's probably not super dangerous, but I wouldn't feel safe.

If you could visit any state/country you wanted, where would you go? I'm not a road trip person, but if I could be magically transported to all of the National Parks in the country, that would be awesome. Same goes for all the ancient/megalithic/mysterious architecture around the world.

If money weren’t an object, what would you do with your life? Probably something similar to what I'm doing now, except I'd have my cabin in the mountains.

Are you a fan of heights? I'm like trauma bonded with them…???

What is the last compliment you received? I'm not sure, but probably something from my dad. If not him, then maybe from Nan or Veronica at the shelter.

Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? Seven.

Is there an instrument you can/wish you could play? I wish I could play guitar, harp, or violin.

Are you artistic at all? Yeah.

Why do you take surveys? I don't know. I mean, on the surface, I take them for the sake of journaling. But WHY do I want to journal? And WHY do I want to make it semi-public? Maybe I just want attention. :')

Where are you? In my room.

What is your goal in life? To pet more cats than anyone else. I'm already in the top percentiles.

Do you enjoy tanning? No.

Is everything going your way right now? In a weird way…pretty much. Just not quite the way I expected lmao.

What’s one aspect of your life that you want to change? I want to be more independent.

Do you text more then you talk on the phone? Yeah.

Is music a big portion of your life? No, but it is at least part of it.

Does anybody call you ‘baby’? No.

Is there someone you want, but can’t have? No.

Have you ever broken the law? Yeah.

Are you scared to grow old? In the sense that I might never get my life together and will subsist in abject circumstances until I die, yes. In a general sense, I just can't wrap my head around the idea of aging (or death) enough to be truly, existentially fearful.

[tleeaves]

Hi! I’m trying to befriend my favourite mutuals so I’m asking a bunch of questions to get to know you all better

What was/is your favourite subject in school? Were/are you good at it?

What country do you live in? What do you like/dislike about it?

Are you currently writing/planning an original story? If so, what is it about?

What genres of media do you usually consume? What books would you recommend to people?

What is your favourite poison?

what is your favourite method of murder (both to read about and what you would actually use)?

What patterns do you usually notice in the people that you hang out with?

Can I message you?

Hi, darling!! Love these questions, thank you so much for sending them through 🥺 Honoured to be considered a favourite mutual.

My favourite subject was absolutely English. It was my top subject when I graduated as well, and I was definitely good at it. I wasn't always though. I actually had trouble reading as a kid. I didn't even really like reading until I got to around 10 years old. And I had a few rough years in high school where no matter how hard I tried in English classes, I could have sworn two teachers in particular were out to give me a hard time for a couple years (to the point where I was nearly averaging on a D in their classes, whereas all other years I was a straight A student in English, including my final years, so the contrast is still weird to look back on, considering nothing substantial actually changed in my learning between those years).

Australia! I like the environment here, generally, not just in terms of vibes from folk but also nature. I do like that where I am in particular they seem to try and incorporate more greenery into built up areas. I dislike our education system deeply and the fact that geographically we're split off from much of the world.

Yes, I am! Both writing and planning (have done so much planning over the years, vaguely, went to write, and realised I needed an outline, and I'm still finishing that up so I can continue the writing part). It's about the sacrifices we make to protect what we care about, essentially. It's also what I would consider high fantasy (though it's technically a blend between high/historical fantasy and low fantasy). Also, horror and romance elements because it's not my work without a bit of horror and some romance at this point (sue me, this stuff goes hand in hand so well sometimes).

Genres of media: dark fantasy (so not outright horror but also too dark to be purely what you might just call fantasy), historical drama, aaand romance (but it's usually mixed in with something else because I struggle to read straight up romance). Books I recommend people are usually tailored to what I know of their interests. Will usually try to squeeze in something by V.E. Schwab though.

Ooh. Good question. Assuming you're talking about actual poison and not just a drink (drink: mocha) it would have to be mistletoe. It's not suuuper effective in small doses, I know, but hear me out: it's a hemiparasitic plant and there's been debates over whether it can be considered a carnivorous plant because of how it feeds off a host plant (tree). I can't remember whether it was argued that it could have been a passive or active trap, though I guess it doesn't really matter, because in the end it's really not carnivorous at all. Still! Toxic to consume. Vomiting and so on. Possible death etc.

Hmm, favourite method. I love poisonings, actually, because they're interesting to orchestrate in stories and can make for dramatic symptom reveals and realisations (and I've written them before too, but reading is just as fun). And, to be honest, I'm pretty shitty at writing other sorts of death scenes BUT oh you know what goes hard?? A good old fashioned stabbing where Character A leans into it and Character B to whisper one last thing -- usually something that holds a lot of weight. THAT is brilliant. I have one of those planned to write. Really excited for it.

People I hang out with are massive nerds. Okay, more seriously... I don't know. I hang out with a variety of people, because I also have a wide array of interests and so I tend to meld into different groups at a time. That's why I say nerds. I like to be around people who care a lot about Very Specific Things. Oh, well, they're also often neurodivergent, so there's that. I find it difficult to get along with people who are so chill about everything and give off the vibe that they have no personality and or passion.

Absolutely you can message me!!

[theburninghallofpep]

tagged by @consciouschunkofmoss (my beloved one)

so this an ask game thing to get to know my fandom people better ? i rly have no idea of what does this mean. boredom will be at my side on this one, so I'll be able to elaborate sth

3 Ships You Like: I'll start with my favorite jjk ones, YutaMaki, SatoSugu, ItaZawa, ItaMe and ItaFushi; Now going to saw, Adamanda – a classic one (i love their dynamics) – coffinship and shotgunship; I don't know if official one count but for TOH, i have Lumity, Huntlow, Gustholomule (I'm not a huge fan of gus, but I can't deny their unique and lovely chemistry okay??); ik gustholomule isn't official. I don't remind anymore ships that I'm a fan of.

First Ship Ever: (gosh im so embarrassed to say this one... i wanna kill myself) I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY HUMANITY, I WAS A 6-7 YEARS OLD KID AT THAT MOMENT OKAY???? It was "Bonnie x Toy Chica". IT IS NOT MY FAULT OKAY???? IT'S ZAJCU37'S FNAF SERIES' FAULT!!!! (i shouldn't have revealed this piece of information)

Last Song You Heard: Kinda cringe but, "Fly me to the moon"

Favorite Childhood Book: My memory is not one of my biggest triumphs:)) anyways, i remember that i liked a lot of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". I had read the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 9th, 10th, 11st and 12nd. I had gifted an old friend of mine with the 12nd book, i regret a lot bc i saved so much money to get it and i loved its cover so much :((( I remember that i purchased the 1st, 2nd and 4th books by 50reais, it was around 2018 (ithink?) and the 12nd in the same year. the rest i read at my grandma's house, my aunt had them, and by reading the three books she has, my love to "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" was born.

Currently Reading: I'm planning to read "1984" (which, ironically, was released at 1948 :D). recently, i read "Fahrenheit 451" and fell in love with it s2. The book story is focused on a dystopian society, where books are banished and burned; the firefighters are a group made by the government to burn everyone who tries to read a book or save them, being now the ones who start the fire instead of who stop. It's a nice and entertaining reading, this is the first book I read this year, and now my will of reading has increased even more for this genre (dystopian novel). i recommend everyone to read it, seriously, i guarantee you might not regret doing so!

Currently Watching: Nothing in particular. Trying to start watching Breaking Bad, get back watching Lucifer and, idk, nothing else :DD

Currently Carving: nothing more than cancer de depressão (depression cancer)

Currently Consuming: Trezentas lições e seminários injetados na veia, graças a uma desgraça chamada ETEC. e sobrevivendo pq conheço gente mt legal; tbm, tem uma pessoa que me faz me sentir bem, e feliz, toda vez que converso com <3

I have a big interest in get to know this person better (and their roleplaying) so I'll be tagging @em-ira to participate in this game

again, thx thingsie for tagging me s2 i loved doing this (i also love you), it was fun. you saved me, not much, from boredom :D 🫶

[ourladyofomega]

About reaching back for all the vinyl records, tapes, and CDs I bought and never listened to? Yeah, um…our station's new program-director decided to switch me around and give me a bi-weekly three-hour time slot.

Last year, I struggled to keep up because I didn't have much music saved up to fall back on, aside from resisting to overplay certain artists on a show that involves so many genres (not kidding when I say that). So now, I'll spend much more time and hustle even harder to find and hear everything I get my hands on.

On top of that, my show once started at Saturday 10PM, be home by one, and enjoy Sunday off. Now, it'll be Monday midnight. I love driving out to the university where I do my show during those colder months where the nights are longer, the air is freezing, with the moon and stars occupying a clear pitch-black sky while driving home on wide-open roads and highways. That's on hold.

Why? My slot ends at 3AM with a remote shift starting at 10:30AM. To compensate, I'm back to editing my shows with voice-overs, plus converting bit rates, snipping my shows into one-hour blocks, and submitting them to the engineers. Hours of fun. My sleep is super-valuable to me, and Lord help anything that's gets in-between us.

There's no doubt I enjoy having a radio show to play tons of stuff you wouldn't hear on today's corporate radio climate (ha ha ha!). I love staying home and do nothing but find music for hours. Now it's getting time-consuming again, and some of my still on-going projects are reasons why some essential life stuff has been on hold for years. Paired with my OCD and constantly re-doing things over, I'm feeling the crunch once more.

But I promised myself to catch up and go back to everything I purchased, because what's the point if you're just hoarding your collection instead of listening to it?