#I cast this oc into the abyss that is tumblr

[joeyo2023]

@quackyfriend

Oc lore:

(image drawn by my friend AveryArts2023 on Instagram)

The Birdman:

The Birdman was created when a average person put on a mask of increadeable power. The mask gave the person the several abilities including flight, the ability to see ghosts, and the ability remember the memories from previous hosts.

The mask originates in 1666 during the black death when a plague was turned into a mask via unknown means.

Feel free to ask about the goober.

He's not scp 049

[everlastiingiimmortals]

[Insert that one gif of the guy flinging a lawn chair open here. Tell me about this Veturas fellow because I collect and appreciate OCs like a dragon collects shiny things]

Ask me about my OCs!! do it!!! Always accepting!

YESSSSSSSSS MY SON!!!

So, Veturas is the god alt of an old OC of mine named Miles. This AU, as you can tell in my bio for him, is one I share with @celestial-narwhal and @shining-gem34 (as well as others who don't rp on tumblr)!

The TLDR about Veturas is that he's the deity of winter, and you may see references to him from my other fandomless OCs (this being Halfling!Quinn and Osyss -- Touched!Quinn and Vaara have no relation to my gods). I've talked a bit about him before so I'll discuss some aspects of his background and lore. He's an Abyssal God -- that is, those born of the Abyss, a primordial entity of darkness and corruption that lurks within the Underworld that is also called the Soul-Eater and is lesser known by its true name, Abythes. The Abyss has also corrupted other gods through proximity or residence in the Underworld, leading to their association with it. @shining-gem34's Mallory is one such example! The other true Abyssal Gods are his older brothers -- he's the youngest of three, I believe. The pantheon is very big and involves a lot of my friends, it's also a little outdated asfgdhfjg. The other two are Omen, God of Fear and Nightmares, and Foley, God of Chaos. Unlike them, though, Veturas was borne of a surface dweller, and he is a far gentler god, one that is actually prayed to for blessings and protections.

He! hates his brothers. Veturas dislikes most of the other gods, actually. He's been spurned by several for a multitude of reasons, including but not limited to attacking him, competing for the favor of his now-wife, playing cruel tricks on him, causing a mess of his domain. He's all but withdrawn from the Pantheon as a result, and instead sleeps during the spring, summer, and autumn months to avoid them all as much as he can. The last time he was awake for an extended period of time was when his eldest brother Omen attacked him, trying to kill him in his sleep and blinding him in the process. The injuries caused Veturas' darkest powers to leech out, casting the world in an extended winter as he wandered, blind, and cursed the others who would not help him. Only when his wife managed to reach him, with the aid of the gods of medicine and life, and give him new eyes with which to see, did the eternal storm subside. Now, Omen is encased in a prison within the underworld of Veturas' making, but it's likely not long until he finds a proper way to escape and enact his revenge to kill Veturas once and for all and consume his powers.

[tidetospine]

Hello, I am new to Mao's channel and these RP's (well, I watched a few of Mao's videos from Abyssal Despair and Dawning Century. Love the art style btw.) ,and tumblr in general. I would like to ask a few questions if you all are okay with it:

I am curious to know who the cast and host's mun's are for this DanganRP. If they wish to remain anonymous I completely understand.

What the inspiration for both the RP and its name " Tide To Spine"?I'm curious to know its meaning.

Are there specific pronouns that the cast prefer's to use? I ask because I'm familiar with Angelop's works and I noticed that Orpheus was a part of this and they go by (they, them) (sorry I'm rambling at this point).

Who is who? I know who Orpheus looks like, but I was having a bit of trouble interpreting who is who.

Again, You don't have to answer this if this is either too much or too insulting if you don't want to. I'm not a very good people person when it come to being more than giving out compliments (or whatever my social issues are), but I do sincerely hope everyone has a wonderful and enjoyable experience. Have a nice day

One by one...

Hi! For the privacy of the players, we will not be disclosing the muns of our accepted cast. However, I can say that the characters here in the roster video are the mod teams OCs - from left to right, they belong to mod Celyca, mod Anya, and mod Moa.

TTS's name is inspired from the song, From Tide to Spine, off the soundtrack for Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. Mod Moa's previous game (Dawning Century) took some inspiration from the Amnesia series, and TTS does too, as well as from Layers of Fear and The Binding of Isaac.

+ 4. We have just set up a roster page where you can view everyone's relevant information. But, if you wanted something quicker and easier to read, here you go! Each name links to the character's respective roster art piece. Adrian Wieslander (he/him) - Socialite Avril DuBois (she/her) - ??? Caligula Lacoste (any) - Party Planner Florida (she/her) - Traveling Merchant Freja Björklund (she/her) - Ult. Shepherdess Jigoku Kobayashi (she/her) - Ult. Martial Artist Johann Strauss (he/him) - Former Violinist Kaien Hattori (he/they) - University Student Magnus Majoris-Maroune (he/him) - M.C. Morgan Davies (she/her) - Antique Dealer Naoyuki Kannouji (he/him) - Ghostwriter Nuno of Meradeur, Magus of the Infinite (any) - Keymaster Orion "Ori" Lee (he/him) - Wanderer Orpheus Kanata (they/them) - Bouncer Sachiko Matsuoka (she/her) - Gardener Sebastian Skies (he/him) - Clerk Serge Qingren (he/they/any) - Embalmer Taka Izukunzo (they/them) - Librarian Yuuki Yukiyama-d'Aureville (she/her) - Antique Collector Additionally, one of the accepted applicants refused their position, so if you notice a slight difference in the characters in the roster video against this list, that's why. Thanks for reaching out!

[chubbletea]

I would like to hear about ur fucked up evil princess cookie au if u wanna talk about it :)

OKAY OKAY srry for taking so long to respond tumblr ate the ask WAAAA

there isn't much backstory to this au it mostly just plays out like canon except for the fact that spark n princess used to b rlly good friends before princess was cursed by smthn/someone (prolly crescent ml bc abyss sf cursed spark BUT me n a friend might make new costumes for ml n sf for this au) and then princess got a cool new evil design BUT it didn't take effect yet bc it needs to b DRAMATIC

so before she escapes the ship she sees spark struggling and abt to fall off the ship and into the sea which WOULD KILL HIM‼️‼️ IT DID KILL HIM BUT I'LL ELABORATE MORE ON THAT LATER. ANYWAYS SO she sees him abt to fall and spark is calling out for help n shit expecting her to help him bc they're like. not quite but almost #besties BUT princess just smiled n escaped herself a few seconds before spark fell into the water and was swept away elsewhere by waves. so then princess escapes with everyone else and she says that everyone is escaping safely WHEN that's a lie spark is either dying or already dead at this point

SO THEN spark drowns and cursed sf comes and saves him while dragging him deeper into the ocean in the process. there is very little sunlight there. SO HE'S STILL DEAD AT THIS POINT HOWEVER sf revives him and he's like "HUH WHAT HOW" bc he though he died n shit and now he suddenly wakes up deep in the ocean and SAFE and ALIVE and BREATHING so I assume anyone would be confused there fjdjfjsjjsj. ANYWAYS sf explains sm shit to him and casts another spell on him which turns him into a sea dragon and HE GETS COOL WATER POWER WOAHHHHH (they can't do much tho and they need to be replenished but STILL) and sf releases him and he's like "WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS" but she already GONE

SO he's a sea dragon in the ocean now and he has so many questions like WTF IS HE GONNA DO ABT HIS REGULARS AND HIS ASSISTANT (cream soda cookie. my oc lol) is his main question BUT he's also curious abt sm other shit. so after a lil bit (not too long) he thinks "well what am I gonna do abt princess cookie" and he doesn't even have to put much thought into it and he's immediately filled with rage and aggression towards her like HE WANTS TO KILL HER FOR WHAT SHE DID (which is fair honestly. she did kill him first)

SO that's the basics of this au I could explain a lot more if I wanted to and there's a lot of "what if" scenarios you could ask abt in this au BUT yeah that's it for this post LOL HDKSIDJSKSK

[microwaved-timmies]

Diseased (Stiles Stilinski) - 1. Body Hunting Gone Wrong

Author: @microwaved-timmies​

Masterlist

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Cassie Erikkson (OC)

Word Count: 2593

Warnings: blood, mention of dead bodies, murders

Author’s Note: I originally started this on Wattpad like 3 years ago and just stopped. Now, it’s posted on my wattpad account (where future chapters will be posted first) and I’m just hoping that I get more people to enjoy the character that I created. I think she’s pretty great :) (the amount of work it took to post this on the Tumblr mobile app is unbelievable)

(Wattpad is re-writen)

Description: Description: Being a teenager is hard; all the hormones and drama left a teenager tired and worn out before they even become adults. The life of teenager, Cassie Eriksson was filled with hormones and drama, with the added kick of medications and doctor's visits. Living the life of someone with cystic fibrosis was hard enough on young Cassie, but adding on the added stress of being a teenage girl left her mentally exhausted. But, as she grew up with being told to be strong, Cassie powered through with barely enough wit to spare. With her best friends, Scott and Stiles, she gets through the first year of High School. Only with Stiles' slightly-obsessive crush on Lydia Martin, Scott's obsession with lacrosse, and her own genetic problems. The second year of High School was when it got interesting. With Scott's mystical night in the woods, the incredible rise in murder cases in Beacon Hills, and Cassie's own unknown past shockingly taking the spotlight, Cassie doesn't know what to do. The only thing she does know for certain is that her disease might not be the thing that kills her.

"When I walk in the spot, this is what I see. Everybody stops and they staring at--"

"What are you doing?"

I screamed in terror, turning off the music that was blasting throughout my room, and probably my entire house. I turn to my open window to see my friend, Stiles, trying to climb through my open window, but it seemed to be a strikingly difficult task. His pale arms and legs frailed around as he tried to wiggle through my small window.

That was when I decided to help him. I grabbed his left arm and began to pull him through the window.

"You know, we do have a front door," I told him after the gruelling effort of getting him through the window. "I didn't think the window would be that hard." He replied as he stared at the window in disbelief. We stood in the middle of my bedroom, he dressed and staring at the window and me in my 'Hello Kitty' pyjamas and purple bathrobe. 

"Any particular reason why you had the desire to climb through my window, Stiles?"

"Well, I listened in on my--" He started before looking down on my attire for the night. "Why are you wearing pyjamas?" Stiles asked with slight confusion. I felt a slight embarrassment, but that was for the fact that I still owned 'Hello Kitty' pyjamas.

"I don't know Stiles, why would I be wearing sleepwear at night?" My words were laced with sarcasm, as I stared at him as he glared at me.

"Well, sorry 'Little Miss Sarcasm'. Get dressed and meet me outside." Stiles grumbled as he began to make his way back to the window.

"Stiles, Stiles, we do have a door."

***

We had gotten to Scott's house quickly, my house is only a few blocks away; close to the outskirts of town. Stiles had told me on the way there as to why exactly we were waking Scott up in the middle of the night, just a few hours before the first day of sophomore year. Stiles was climbing the roof, hoping to climb into Scott's bedroom.

I heard the sound of creaking footsteps on the wooden deck. I felt my body fill with slight panic as I stood outside in the dead of night. Thorns scraped against my face and neck as I scrambled into the bushes next to the railing. I heard screaming from above, I just hoped one of the screams was Scott. I was not staying in this bush for the night.

"Stiles, what the hell are you doing?!" I heard Scott's distinctive voice from above me, I could just imagine Stiles hanging from the rafters, I just wished he wouldn't fall into the bushes with me.

"You weren't answering your phone! Why do you have a bat?" That was Stiles, his voice was confused, but I would have been to if my friend almost whacked me with a baseball bat. "I thought you were a predator ." Scott blurted. I tried to wrestle my way out of the bush, but my hair and clothes were stuck on the thorns and vines. My backpack, on the other hand, was basically mating with the thing.

I heard rustling a few feet in front of my feet, it stopped after a few seconds. It's just my imagination. Right? Man, I really need to get out of this bush.

"A pre - I - wha - look, I know it's late, but you gotta hear this. I saw my dad leave 20 minutes ago. Dispatch called. They're bringing in every officer from the Beacon Department, and even State Police," Stiles said, informing Scott of why we showed up in the middle of the night. I've begun to regret my decision to come along, and I think I'll regret it even more in the morning. "For what?" Scott asked with confusion. We barely get cases that involve the Beacon Department, let alone State Police.

"Two joggers found a body in the woods."

I heard a thud on the outside of the bush that seemed to love me just a little too much or just my backpack. "A dead body?" Was Scott's stupid reply. I swear, he doesn't think before he speaks. When I get out of here, I'm going to stuff him in this bush.

"No, a body of water. Yes, dumbass, a dead body." Stiles' words dripped with sarcasm. "You mean like, murdered?" Scott questioned. Whatever was in the bushes with me, began to move again, this time quicker and closer to where I was. I could feel my body fill with slight panic, whatever the thing was, it didn't seem to enjoy my company.

'It's more scared of you than you are of it,' I thought, but even as I chanted it in my head, my body filled with more fright the more the animal moved. It was at my side now, but I couldn't move my head to look in the dark, my hair in so many tangles I couldn't even move my head.

"Cassie, where are you?" Stiles questioned the area around him, not knowing that he should have been checking the vegetation surrounding Scott's house. Come to think of it, it's not that unreasonable that I hid in the bushes; I'm a nature-lover at heart, even though my thumb is not the slightest bit green. My grandmother had gotten me a few plants one time, let's just say their deaths were mysterious.

"Down here!" I shouted, "I'm in the bush!" I heard rustling beside me. "Hurry, I don't think I'm alone down here!" The rustling got louder until a felt something breath near my hand. I felt a hand grab the top of my shoulder, and pull. My body was pulled through the bush, branches and spiderwebs coming in contact with my face.

I think I swallowed a few...

Cold air rushed toward my face the moment my face came out of the bush. I saw both Scott and Stiles standing before me, Stiles with his hand still gripping my shoulder. I walked out of the bush, or at least tried to on my own; I had to grip both Scott and Stiles, so I didn't lose my footing and tumble back into the dark abyss that was the bush.

Once I was fully out of the bush, Stiles' hand came closer to my head, and out of instinct, the top half of my body began to lean to the side. The same thing happened when we were little kids; Stiles' hand got closer to my head and I didn't move. His plan at that time was to steal my hair elastic.

I leaned too much and my entire body became unbalanced, resulting in me laying on my back in the grass. Stiles was too slow to catch himself from falling. Stiles fell and his leg ended up stabbing me in my own leg, with his hands on either side of my face. I felt the burn of my cheeks-they were probably fire truck red by now-Stiles' cheeks were turning from their pale state to pink, to red in a matter of seconds. I could smell his cologne; it had a musky smell to it. It reminded me of the wilderness of the summer camp my Grandmother would send me to every summer.

My face contorted into pain every few seconds. "You had branches in your hair," Stiles whispered to me, he shifted and put more weight on the leg that was stabbing me. My face contorted into pain again, this time with an "ow!" at the end. He immediately moved off of me, as he asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine. It's not like he basically stepped on me.

"Come on, lovebirds. Aren't we going body hunting?" Scott, being the annoying best friend that he is, said as he walked by us to Stiles' jeep.

***

The ride to the reserve was peaceful and relaxing almost, even though Scott had stuck me in the back. Somehow, Scott just couldn't think of sitting in the backseat. It was like he was a king and the front seat was his throne.

I sat in the middle of the backseat and leaned forward to hear whatever they said. I noticed my backpack had twigs and leaves stuck in it; making it look like it had been surviving in the jungle for years. I was surprised it didn't carry a spear or have a beard.

The jeep stopped suddenly, ending in a jolt. We were at the Reserve now, it was pitch black and felt like the place where you would find a dead body, ironic that that was the reason we were here, to begin with.

"We're seriously doing this?" Scott questioned, as we set foot into the forest of tall trees and mud. The woods were dark, but even in the pitch darkness, the trees cast shadows over everything. The shadows added a certain element that could be felt in your bones.

"You're the one always bitching that nothing ever happens in this town," Stiles replied to Scott, as we passed trees and bushes.

"Come on, Scott, this is supposed to be fun. If you're going to have your typical party-pooper attitude, why don't you wait in the jeep?" I said as I walked past Scott, bumping his arm as I did. Scott rolled his eyes at my words; he never appreciated my mind-blowing genius.

He's going to regret that if I get killed in these woods. Or by my disease. My disease could definitely kill me at any time. I'd prefer it if it wasn't today.

"I was trying to get a good night's sleep before practise tomorrow," Scott said, choosing to ignore my words. Scott could barely run from one side of the field, let alone catch the ball. But he dreamt big, and I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

Yet.

"Right, 'cause sitting on the bench is such a gruelling effort."

"Your ass must get a great workout."

Scott glared at us, or I'm pretty sure he was. It sounds like something he would do. The dark that wrapped around us like a blanket limited my vision to only a few feet in front of me.

"No," Scott glared at me in the dark. I smiled at him, acting like I didn't just insult his ego. "Because I'm playing this year. In fact, I'm making first line."

I continued to walk behind them; following the flashlight Stiles was holding so I didn't wander into the woods.

Where a murder just happened.

"Hey, that's the spirit. Everyone should have a dream, even a pathetically unrealistic one."

I snorted uncontrollably; I could almost feel Scott's annoyance. His glare made me stop my snorting, but I couldn't keep a straight face. We walked for a bit in silence, our shoes crunching over the leaves. "Just out of curiosity," Scott said, "which half of the body are we looking for?"

We kept walking, Stiles a couple of steps in front of Scott and I. "Huh, I didn't even think of that."

"You've got to be kidding me." I sighed in annoyance; of course, Stiles didn't check for finer details.

"And, uh, what if whoever killed the body is still out here?"

"Also something I didn't think about."

I stared at Stiles' back in disbelief; but I really shouldn't be, he does this thing all the time. One time, he picked up someone else's backpack (thinking it was mine) and carried it around for 20 minutes, even though I was wearing mine.

"So what your saying is," I started, "we're going to get murdered out here because we stupidly decided to go body hunting.". We were walking up a small hill, Scott beginning to have an asthma attack.

"It's comforting to know that you planned this up with your usual attention to details," Scott said, panting and struggling to breathe. He got his inhaler out as we walked together and Stiles answered with a cheerful, "I know!".

Stiles was up ahead, darting through the trees, the flashlight slowly leaving my sight. Scott and I hurried to catch up. The forest was dark and the leaves were slippery. The raindrops fell on my head and down the back of my sweater, causing me to shiver. Scott panted and wheezed beside me. Stiles was laying on his stomach at the top of the hill, Scott and I dropped down and joined him. Rain dropped on my head and right through the sweater I was wearing. Why did I decide to go body hunting in the woods? At night? In the rain? A murderer on the loose? I should really start asking questions before I do stupid things. Especially with Stiles.

The police officers were in view from where we were. Stiles stumbled up and ran through the trees, leaving Scott and me in the dust.

"Wait!" Scott shouted.

"Stiles, no!" I yelled. Scott and I stumbled up and ran after Stiles. I'm surprised the police didn't hear our dog-like panting. My small structure was a disadvantage when it came to catching up to Stiles. My track experience, however, allowed me to get a couple of feet ahead of Scott. I was nearing Stiles and I watched him fall back on to the wet ground. I slide to a stop on the wet leaves and watched as Stiles was caught by Sheriff Stilinski and a police dog. I caught Scott's hand and pulled him into the trees to hide.

If I come home with the police one more time, I might get killed by grandma.

Scott and I were hiding behind trees as the Sheriff interrogated Stiles. "So where are your usual partners in crime?" Sheriff Stilinski asked as he moved his flashlight in the dark. I sucked in a breath, even though I highly doubt they could hear my breathing.

They'd be more likely to catch Scott due to heavy breathing. The dude sounded like a dog.

"Who, Scott and Cassie? They're both at home... sleeping. They both wanted to get a good night's sleep before the first day of school tomorrow," Stiles started nervously, "there's just me... in the woods..." My nose started to itch and my eyes began to water. No, no, no...

A loud sneeze went through the small clearing we were in. I froze and hoped that maybe, just maybe, it didn't sound like a sneeze. Judging by the look, I mean glare, Scott was sending me, I was not walking out of here without a police officer.

And that I was most likely dead.

"...alone" I heard Stiles finish softly as he too, awaited my fate.

"Cassie, you out there?" Sheriff Stilinski said as flashlights turned in my direction. I knew I had to reveal myself, but maybe if I wait long enough they'll forget. "Cassie, come out,". I walked out from behind my tree into my spotlight.

"Hel--why is it so bright?!" I yelled as I shielded my eyes. It was a spotlight, and it hurt. A lot.

"Well, I'm gonna walk both of you back to your car," Stilinski said, grasping our shoulders, "and you and I are gonna have a discussion about something called violation of privacy." he directed at Stiles.

The walk to the Jeep was silent and awkward. I was hoping that my grandmother wouldn't be involved, that Sheriff Stilinski would let this one slide.

"I'm hoping my grandma can stay out of this one," I suggested.

"No, I am. I have her on speed dial."

"I expected nothing else."

[waddlesdpig]

The Lego Movie Franchise Retrospective ( Or how to build Masterpieces)

The following is a opinionated review on the “ Lego Movie” franchise as a whole, spoilers and bad jokes ahead.

Its kinda crazy if we’re being honest here, in the five years since it’s creation the “ Lego Movie “ franchise has made close to a billion dollars domestically and probably more than that total internationally. All for what is essentially a series of really long commercials, albeit very entertaining and ( mostly) heartfelt commercials. No matter how you look at it however, these films on a whole have been a grand success worthy of artistic recognition ( WB has left chat).

This trend of profitably praised pictures seems sure to continue, with the soon to be released fourth installment in the “ Lego Movie” franchise “ The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part.” 

( A sentence as redundant as me writing reviews on Tumblr.)

As a lover of the original “ Lego Movie” this sequel comes like the missing brick in my Lego heart set that i didn’t know existed. In that same breath however, i can’t help but feel anxious over how the movie will turn out. Early reviews have skewed favorably for the film and yet there is a disturbing trend in the Lego franchise that one cannot ignore. Each Lego Movie has had diminishing returns in terms of quality ever since the first. 

Don’t get me wrong, the animation, production, and voice work for has been ( mostly) top notch for every installment. No when i mean quality, i’m talking about the strength of each films script and the way they are constructed. This problem is far more reaching than the common “ It wasn’t as funny as the first” comment one might make concerning the latter two Lego movies. Although i would be remiss to suggest that the humor isn’t itself a issue. 

“ The Lego Movie” is filled to the brim with weird wacky comedy that still holds up five years later, but is coupled with satisfying storytelling that complements the silliness. Out of everything that could have been taken away from that original film the sequential Lego flicks focus is firmly placed on the hijinks and shenanigans. Much like a child who stacks his Legos as high as he can without any regard to building a solid foundation, Lego Batman ( to a lesser extent) and Ninjago lives or dies on the strength of it’s humor, often times tumbling because of that fact. So to help illustrate my point i would like to go back to the beginning and exam why each film worked or failed.

THE LEGO MOVIE

Out of all the things this film is praised for, the animation, the comedy, the amazing cast, i hardly ever hear anyone talking the story structure. While nothing shakespearean, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller masterfully employ the monomyth ( or hero’s journey) to lay the emotional foundation for the film, using it quite literally to a T’. 

After setting the movies conflict into motion with the “ Piece of Resistance” and the “Krangle” we flash forward 8 1/2, enter Emmet Brickowski, your average abnormally normal citizen of Lego City Bricksburg where everything is honky dory. Following him throughout his day we come to find that Emmet is so average that he has fallen into the background of the collective consciousness of those around him. Only by chance does he comes across the Piece of Resistance literally calling him to adventure.

Now melded with the piece of legend, Emmet now bears the name “ The Special” which he is hesitant to hear at first, as he faces persecution from Lord Business forces, who is H’ E’ double hockey sticks’ bent on gluing the entire universe into place. 

Through shenanigans he teams up with local DJ Wyldstyle, warms up to the idea of being, and i quote “ the most important, most talented, most interesting, most extraordinary, mostest most person in the universe.” The two escape from his capturers and crosses the threshold, by also literally crossing into another realm. 

Duding it up in the Old West, Emmet’s lie is exposed like me on Omegle, earning him the disdain of his would be love interest. Trying to decipher next with the piece, the duo finds the wizard Virtuvius ( MVP of the film) who after finding out Emmet’s quandary determines to mentor him to be a Masterbuilder. 

More shenanigans, Batman shows up, Emmet experiences cuckolding with Bat’s and Sty’s blockholding, ( seriously this is supposed to be a family film for krangle’s sake!) they all take a road trip to cloud coo coo land, group meets “ OC do not steal” and the other Masterbuilders to come up with a plan to take down Lord Business and stop his TAKOS! Surprise surprise Bad Cop rolls up to the club and the Masterbuilders aren’t ready to jam so they get sent to the slam. Emmet and crew manage to escape only by hiding in this absolute masterpiece. 

Now beaten and bruised Emmet rallies the troops, and together as a team they set to enter the dragon’s lair that is Lord Business office building. ( Nightmare of college dropouts and unpaid interns everywhere) The story comes to a head as Virtuvius loses his, the piece of resistance is thrown into the abyss that is my grandma’s purse, all the masterbuilders are captured and Lord Business has set up an overly elaborate death trap to get these dang kids off his lawn. In this moment of despair the ghost of Virtuvius appears before Emmet assuring him that cat posters hold the secrets of the universe. Motivated Emmet bids a tearful farewell as he sacrifices himself to save the other Masterbuilders.

On the other side of the abyss, Emmet haves an out of body experience and has a face to face with the pink sausaged-eagle-squid creatures that serve as the lands God’s. It is here that he finally becomes equipped with the Ultimate Treasure: believing in yourself! Now ready to face the odds Emmet is sent Homeward Bound back to the Lego world. 

He returns, Reborn as a Masterbuilder. Emmet confronts Lord Business and stops him by extending him his hand ( claw-grip thing?) in friendship, helping Lordy realize that he doesn’t have to be bad and that in reality we are all the Special. The two reconcile and the story wraps up with the world at peace until the immediate sequel bait.

There’s a reason many a tale uses this storytelling device, when done properly it works to enact growth and change in the protagonist, resulting in a compelling and satisfying character arc. The Lego Movie not content to rely on this alone also explores “ The Chosen One” trope, as well as themes about creativity vs conformity. There is quite a surprising amount of depth once you start deconstructing this film brick by brick, something that would be sorely missed in it’s spiritual sequels.

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

Without a doubt there is a lot to like about “ The Lego Batman Movie,” they managed to kick the already amazing animation up to 11, on a whole it is a very funny movie ( giving birth to probably one of my favorite scenes ever. Kazow!), and it joyfully revels in the Batman mythos and world. In addition to that, it’s story tackles a very interesting premise not often explored with the Caped Crusader. Yet in my mind, there is a distinct issue which holds the film back from being as solid as Batman’s ninepack, this being pacing in the third act.

Batman is one of the rare characters in pop culture that require almost no real introduction, as it can be assumed that most will in one way or another have some basic idea of his mythos. Using this to their advantage, the people filming choose to focus on a intrinsic part of the Dark Knight, that of lose and fear of losing. Building on “ The Lego Movie” interpretation of the character, we have here a extremely egotistical, selfish Batman who exhibits these qualities in order to close himself from anymore emotional pain. 

This is plainly stated in the first act by Alfred, “ Master Bruce, you live on an island figuratively, and literally.” It’s the same reason why he can’t admit to Joker being his greatest enemy, because even if the relationship is hateful in nature, it is still a connection to another person. So Batman’s gotta learn to open himself to others, great! A good premise and character arc that the film executes fairly well, up until the beginning of the third act.

See throughout the story we see Batman nudged and guided into becoming a better person by those around him, particularly Alfred and Barbara in the first act. Come the second act, Batman has stubbornly enacted his own plan to stop the seemingly harmless Joker, after succeeding he is berated by Barbara “ You can't be a hero if you only care about yourself.” Batman’s plan backfires giving Joker the means to unleash every villain from your local bar’s trivia night. As such Fatman rectify his mistakes by teaming up with his loves ones to make wrongs right. 

Though hesitant to the idea at first, Bats warms up to his new superhero buddies only for him to push them away as soon as he realizes their importance to him. This is where the problem of pacing really begins to show itself. After sending away the Bat-lites, Batman immediately confronts Joker, only for the Joker to recapitulate something that was just clearly shown to the audience “ I'm not your greatest enemy. Your greatest enemy is you.” 

Joker then banishes Batman to the doom dimension where he is greeted by a literal judge of right and wrong, who then plays a highlight reel showing just how big a betty batty’s been. The thing to note is this all occurs within a span of five minutes, stopping the story completely just to point at something that’s already solidly established in the story.

The real shame is that all this guilt dog-piling undercuts a great moment. In the doom dimension Bat’s gets a peek of the situation to find his friends returning to help him, there he sees Robin emulating Batman’s reckless attitude, and it is there where he is finally able to recognize the harm he’s bringing to others with his selfish actions. A moment i feel could’ve been the emotional pillar of the movie if it had been better builded towards and executed.

To be fair the movie from then on picks back up rather quickly, Batman learns his lesson, forms the “ savi-cide squad,” and in the end is able to save Lego Gotham by literally making connections with others and bringing everyone closer to each other. Capping what is undeniably, despite it’s flaws, a very fun movie. If only i could say the same about the last film here…

THE LEGO NINJAGO

The Lego Ninjago movie was always going to be in a peculiar situation, it’s branding and world aren’t well enough established in the minds of the average movie goer to solely create a story based on in-world lore. Nor is it enough of a clean slate that one could be free to do whatever it wanted if the story ala “ The Lego Movie.” And as such it creates this disjointed hodgepodge of elements borrowed from the two previous entries. This particularly can be seen through the journey of the protagonist Lloyd.

By the time the movie chooses to introduced Lloyd we are already informed that he as the Green Ninja along with the others have already time and again defeated and repelled the big bad Garmadon. In a way Lloyd as already undergone his own hero’s journey, meaning they’ve already skipped any satisfaction that could be gained from seeing a powerless boy becoming a hero and vanquishing that which threatens his home.

Bah whatever, origin stories are overdone and boring. Who’s with me?! Let’s get right into the good stuff. And to the films credit it does just that, right off the bat we are introduced to what will be the main conflict of the story, Lloyd and his relationship with his father. However here too “ The Lego Ninjago” movie stumbles. Lloyd as a character is defined solely by this conflict. During nearly the entire first act you will rarely find a scene, or piece of dialogue featuring Lloyd that will not involve Garmadon or the fact that he is Lloyd’s father in one way or another. 

But hey he’s also the leader of the Ninjas and does a great job of, uh, telling people what to do? Now let’s quickly compare how the “ Lego Batman Movie” handle this. In the opening moments of that film we spend time with Batman before the grand conflict is set into motion, we see he’s egotistical, a showboat, selfish and willfully ignorant to any flaws he might have. Having established his personality, ( what a notion) the story is able to show how that feeds into his fear letting people back in and colors his character arc for the film.

With the “ Lego Ninjago” movie failing to this, it leaves Lloyd as just sort of a blank slate with daddy issues. It’s probably why they have him from the start with a fully assembled team of fun personalities to bounce off of and carry the load of protaganizing, oh wait. Oh boy, we got Flame Fella the spiky hair one, Dirt Dude who is essentially Flame Fella, Wa Wa Womah ( she’s the water element cause she’s so good at retaining water), and the only two with any semblance of personality Jay and Zane. 

Without trying to disrespect fans of the original series, you know where they actually mattered, the other Ninjas here are little more than filler. Functionally they have no real role in the story except to bolster Lloyd’s in-world importance by making him leader, as well as holding him responsible after he unwittingly unleashes destruction upon Ninjago. Towards the start of the third act, our blockhead Ninjas haphazardly realize that all they to do was believe and only now is there any hint of development for the group. Way too little, way too late to have any significant impact on the story. 

Leaving us with the “ Father/Son” plot to essentially carry the whole film. To the movie’s credit it does a serviceable job in accomplishing this. While far from masterful, there is some satisfaction in two opposing fractions learn to work together and eventually reconcile. However even here the film fails to execute on this idea.  After spending the entirety of the second act building up this relationship between the two, Garmadon literally asks Lloyd to join him and rule the galaxy together. Green bean rejects the offer because what else would you expect him to do, and Gar once again pushes his son away from him. Less than five minutes later, the climax of the movie ends with Lloyd talking to his dad through a cat and the two finally reconcile as family.  

In this way “ The Lego Ninjago Movie” fizzles out, leaving a lackluster ending and Jackie Chan to close out an already underwhelming story. 

Finally some more miscellaneous criticisms. 

They reuse a lot of shots in the first act, Lloyd’s dragon cannon being of the more obvious examples. 

There isn’t as much effort to establish “ Ninjago” as a Lego world, often times you see Lego structures mixed with what is supposed to be natural foliage. This is a huge issue in the second act as the majority of the scenery is composed of non-Lego elements. And the stuff that isn’t Lego’s don’t look to hot, the water effects being the biggest offender in this case.  

Jackie Chan as Master Wu is probably the weakest performance in the movie, i don’t know if it’s  because of the voice director or because Jackie just wasn’t feeling the powah.

The movie’s live action intro and outro is just bad. 

But hey Garmadon has a “ Shark-Shooter” gun! 8/10 movie

CLOSING THOUGHTS

In conclusion, the thing that worries me most from the last two movies is the lack of thought and care into execution that the original “Lego Movie” had in spades. Pacing, strong character work for the whole cast, attention to story structure, all of these things have been mostly stepped on in favor of cramming as much hijinks as possible. And as a result leads to painful lackluster conclusions that try to be heartwarming but fail due to poor build up. 

As much as i sound like a negative nancy right now, with “ The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” being helmed by the dynamic duo which created the first, i am confidant that this will be a return to form for the Lego franchise. 

Thanks for reading this monstrous mess.