#I cant say nice things without at least one joke

[ceilidho]

coworker soap who frames the fleshlight thing as a joke but with a creepy undercurrent that you cant understand why you know it isnt a joke but you also dont wanna rock the boat so you dont tell hr bc johnny the ex-military man is a model employee otherwise and you cant help but feel hot shame run down ur spine when he says it that you are, at least a little, flattered by it bc shit dude hes HOT. coworker soap who just. doesnt bring it up again. its just boiling rhe frog. he says weird, borderline creepy shit that could be passed off as "guy talk" in any other situation (regardless of readers gender). He follows you around like a puppy and where it used to be normal for you, you feel a little creeped out now but. everyone. already refers to you as a duo. itd be weird if you stopped for no reason? right?

i don't know what broke in my mind long ago that this is like, the weirdly hottest thing in the world to me but im genuinely twitching over it right now.

model employee Johnny, knows the handbook inside and out, walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude. management loves him because his sales are also record high (i mean, it makes sense - i wouldn't be able to say no if he was helping me with a purchase and tried to upsell me). he's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some "jobs for vets" program that they just rolled out (idk i'm making this up). and the guy can stack things on a shelf like no one's business lmao like MILITARY precision/organization.

all your coworkers love him and genuinely like fist pump whenever they get put on the schedule with him because he's a blast to work with, and some of your coworkers are actually incredibly jealous that he just seems to follow you around everywhere. hangs off your every word. always seems to just pop out from around the corner whenever you're having trouble reaching something on a shelf.

but he says weird, uncomfortable shit to you sometimes. way over the line. you don't even know what to say at first when Johnny jokingly tells you that he has a fleshlight at home that he's named after you, just laughs and then stares at you for a second. and you like, give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. until something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, clapping you on the arm and wandering off back to the men's apparel section.

he does a lot of strange shit actually. maybe insists on walking you to your car when the two of you are on the closing shift and it's well into the evening. laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. asks if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. begs management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.

and you can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. he's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet. they defend him viciously. and the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you standing there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. you'll just have to teach him better.

[idorukiss]

Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon of sorts of how I picture MC's relationship with Sylus would devleop~ I'm not much of a writer but the brainrot is real and ive made similar ones for the other boys too!

1,035 words || You can also read it on ao3

‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙ Xavier ・ Zayne ・ Rafayel

Sylus is always prepared for any and every situation that could happen when he works, In all his time reigning over the N109 zone there hasn't been a single thing or person that hasn’t been accounted for to some degree- that was until you showed up at least. Like a black cat, you seemed to bring unexpected chaos wherever you stepped.

Of course he couldn’t help but do everything he can to keep you by his side, not only to be a formidable ally but simply cause he finds you as a whole fascinating. What kind of things will you say next? How will you get out of this situation? It’s like a game to him, one that he can’t predict or brute force the ending to.

While the two of you didn't get off on the best foot at the start, he proved himself very trusting and that he cared for your well being fairly easily. Sure he would take chances to tease you for the littlest things- even creating various situations just to see your reaction to them, but he still honestly responded to your every question and kept you as best in the loop for things as he was able.

It was strange yet nice to have someone like him by your side, someone so strong and confident that you could trust to cover your back and seemingly trusted you as much to cover his in return. It was a dynamic you weren’t that used to yet, sure you had your fellow hunters but no matter how much you fought alongside any of them you just couldn’t find yourself fully trusting in their abilities like this.

The more he got to know you the more he found himself thinking about you and the things you like. Often swiping his card first and thinking later any time your face flashed in his mind when perusing wares. He wonders how long it will take you to realize he keeps all of his estates fully stocked with presents and everything you might need in the event you show up to any of them.

“Sylus? Why are you calling me so early??” “Check your door kitten, you should have a package waiting for you” “Don't tell me its another gun, I keep telling you I can't use these outside of the N109 zone” he chuckles deeply “Well I could get you a gun too if you really want one. But no, it's something different this time” Curiously you grab the box and start to open it “...A teddy bear?” “Do you not like it? I figured it could add to your growing plush collection.” You let out a small giggle “That's so sweet of you. But you didn't have to send it to me right away, you could've left it in my room for the next time I came by like usual.” his voice is soft, almost whispering into your ear “I couldn't wait to give it to you is all. Wont you accept my gift?” Your heart pounds “I love it, thank you. Ill be sure to sleep with it every night!” your face is beaming, he cant see it through the phone but he can surely hear it in your voice.

Any time you find yourself without missions long enough to justify the trip, you spend it in the N109 zone with him. You told yourself at first it was just to keep an eye on him and see if you can catch any weaknesses, but you were secretly excited to be spending time with him even if it was just sitting in content silence together while he worked. And despite his unchanging face, Sylus might’ve looked forward to each of your visits even more than you.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary to accompany him to various events and gatherings, and it was surely strictly for business at first. Now though? It’s hard to tell. Not that you mind either way, it just felt nice to have his arm around you and being doted on throughout the night. When people inquired about who you were, he would usually refer to you as his woman in a more joking way at first, but your heart couldn't help but flip the first time he said it more genuinely. While looking right at you with a smile.

One very late night after attending a party, you couldn't help but doze off in the car on the way back to his place. It was much later in the night than you are typically used to, you don’t know how he can function at this time of night most days. You can’t help but let your mind wander and picture what day to day life with him would be like if you just never went back home.- If you stayed by his side for the rest of time.

He gently carries you inside, but instead of going all of the way to your dedicated room he brings you with him into his. There's no nefarious plans, he just simply wants to have you by his side longer and has wished to wake up to your face for far too long. A faint hum stirs you from your dreams as you are being gently placed onto the comfort of his mattress. A small kiss pressed to the top of your head as the blankets pulled over you before he quietly climbs in beside you.

Did you even wake up in the first place? Even if it was still a dream it meant everything to you, and you reach an arm out pulling yourself close to him and nuzzling into his side. Your eyes flutter closed once more enjoying his warmth as he quietly chuckles to himself and wraps an arm around you in return, falling into a blissful sleep of his own. Neither of you would give up this moment for the world, you were meant to be in each other’s arms just like this for eternity.

He would kill for you, and you would live for him. Nothing anyone could do would predict your love for one another, and you'll continue to defy fate to be with him

[thatlittleviolin]

//A little ramblig about eddie dear bc i cant stop thinking about him

Im not joking when i say this whole post was inspired after seen @//purple-raspberries “the mailman” drawing because O MY STARS WHAT IS THAT DRAWINgGGGGGG /pos

Okay so anyway, whats up with Eddie Dear? As, like, an active character of Welcome Home?

Something rubs me in the wrong way when it comes to him as a whole, not that I dislike him, pretty… much the opposite (thats why I'm making this post) actually, but I feel he is more relevant to the lore than what ppl give him credit for.

Even way before the past-year (2023) Halloween and Homewarming updates, I felt that he must simply be more than what is presented to us about him:

- He is the only character who sees all the rest of the neighbours every day due to his work

- He is one of the few if not the only one who is confirmed to be from outside of Home

- He brings one of the TWO functional clocks in all of Home (which could well be due to the nature of his work, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's curious)

And I know, ik, this is not a lot. In fact, I believe this is not crucial info, but I want to mention it because it gives, in some way, a certain statement: Eddie Dear is not like everyone else. It differentiates him from the others.

There's simply something intriguing about him; and I constantly think about how, again, he's the resident who interacts most with his neighbors, the most helpful and willing to do anything, and despite that, he's the one who gets the most hits?

Hes always in a rush because he likes helping others, he's clumsy and yet he does his job in a stellar way and yet he goes the more underappreciated by his neighbors and its the first one to get to have his own personal breakdown during the Homewarming

Keep in mind, I don't mean that the other characters are bad or smth, we all know that inside they care for each other and are a pretty nice neighborhood-

But yea, starting with the most obvious, Howdy and Sally are downright condescending, bordering on rude to him. Howdy ignores him or pays half attention when he goes to deliver merchandise to the Bugdega and tries to start a conversation, and despite this, we can see that Howdy asks him for help to deliver things to someone else.

More specifically, during a hidden audio, we can hear that he uses Eddie to deliver an order of bowling balls to Julie DESPITE Howdy having a home delivery system and probably being able to better handle the weight of the merchandise, being at least two heads taller than Eddie, right when Eddie had just told him he had a very tiring day (of course he didn't hear that)

Sally, on her side, is condescending to him to the degree that when we hear them interacting, at least until now, it's mostly her giving him orders. Heck, Sally has a "long name" for every resident EXCEPT Eddie, whom she usually just calls "Mailman" for everything.

Julie and Frank tend to be more passive about it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they also end up... taking advantage a bit? Or leaving him a bit aside. I know, I know, we all ship FranklyDear here, but it still bothers me how during "Eddie's big lift" (+ another hidden audio) we're shown how Julie tends to involve him in her games without much consideration as to whether Eddie even understands them to begin with, and Frank, despite acknowledging that he works hard and often overworks for everyone, leaves him lying on the ground. They don't even wait for him to get up to say goodbye properly, they just leave him there and go home. It's a bit sad to hear how Eddie talks to himself while getting up and dusting himself off.

And finally, one that I understand is a joke but serves as a transition to my next point: Barnaby and his constant gag of chasing Eddie around the neighborhood as soon as he sees him making his deliveries, or insisting that Eddie lifts him up because “he's just a puppy”. I won't delve into this (not now) because I know that overall that's Barnaby's way of joking; Eddie is not his only victim, but when you mix it with everything said above, it gives off some weird vibes.

It's as if Eddie was the typical "punching bag" character of the show's creators; you know, the one created so that the fun we get from him is at his expense, and sadly, somehow that fact makes sense to me as to why he's the first to have a "breakdown" during Homewarming and said breakdown has to do with, what else? his isolation and probable sadness.

During Sally's history and Poppy's confinement in her own house, there were two predominant themes: what happens when we're in the dark, what lurks in the shadows and whatnot, and isolation: Sally talks about this but Poppy experiences it first hand; shes alone and in the dark, house bricked to the top. However, Eddie gets overwhelmed despite being surrounded by everyone and, clearly, in a lit environment.

My opinion? Said loneliness and darkness don't necessarily need to be tangible, and in Eddie's case, they come from a mental place. My dear doesn't seem to have too much appreciation for himself, constantly letting people get the help they want (need, of course) from him at the cost of his own well-being. Eddie Dear is not happy, in fact, I feel he puts himself down a bit, which equates to darkness, and when he can distract himself from this fact again, Home reminds him; and his loneliness comes in a literal-but-not way. Eddie is never alone, that's evident, but again, in the Homewarming video we're not only emphasized that he's upset and confused because no one has asked him for help, but because he DOESN'T KNOW how to handle his own activities outside of work. Anything that doesn't have to do with the post office but is more personal overwhelms him because he's not used to thinking outside of how he should help others because that's his "only" way of interacting with them. Eddie needs to be needed in order to be closer to others, and when that's not the case, it frustrates him so much that it even seems like anger.

Heck, it's even sad how Sally mentions that nobody bothered him with the usual tasks they would require him for to give him a day off, and then downright nobody interacted with him. Not even Julie called him to play. When Sally finds him under Home's tree, she asks him to escort her to Home for the Homewarming and it's narrated that they're the last to arrive, but if Eddie hadn't left his house then... what? Would he have stayed there? (Lowkey I theorize that he wouldn't have, because of the fact that Sally and Frank seem to have more awareness than the others, I feel like she was actually waiting for him)

Personally, I consider that when it comes to a case like Eddie's, it's even worse, because you don't need to be actively in a closed and dark place, isolated (in what voluntary situation would someone have to be like that?) for your head to go completely to shit. Think about it, you make Home angry and he doesn't need the rest of the neighbors to build a wall around you. It does what you already do well: it locks you up with your thoughts and leaves you there.

So,,, uh, yeah, I don't know how to end this.

I just wanted to talk about my fav man.

somebody help him PLAEASSE

[simp-ly-writes]

Safety Hazard

─────── · ·

Pairing: Partner!Trevor Evarts x Can't-Cook!Partner!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You cannot cook to save your life so much so that it even endangers others when you do not mean it to but good thing you have a patient boyfriend who is more than willing to help!

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, no use of (y/n), light swearing, fluff, domestic fluff, short, attempt at comedy (near death experience for Chef!Josh /sarcastic).

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 585

─ · · A/N: Thank you for this hilarious ask anon! This pic inspired me so much and I truly embraced the chaos on this one LOL 🤣

─────── · ·

��� Trevor. You loved your boyfriend for being the most supportive of your failed culinary career but you adored taking pictures for the Smosh and Good Mythical Kitchen marketing team- it was your newfound passion and helped you to get through the office's endless teasing about you practically married to a guy who can cook very well and then you who burns water somehow.

↳ (But you wouldn't change it for the world, there was nothing like eating meals cooked personally from a literal chef every meal of the day and Trevor was more than happy to serve and watch you eat the food he made, it was a major love language shared between the two of you).

↳ Fun Fact! You met Trevor by being kicked out of culinary school after being deemed "too much of an endangerment to your fellow staff and students." But what they really were meaning to say was that you were just too good of a chef that they couldn't handle your heat in the kitchen (or at least that was what you told yourself to sleep better at night).

─────── · ·

Trevor did not have the heart to tell you that you were quite frankly terrible at cooking but you were an excellent baker... while under supervision (of course). But all the rest of the Smosh cast and crew would think otherwise often steering you clear of the communal kitchen or distracting your very kind offers to help by doing other tasks.

Some had even had the guts to say it, albeit very nicely, to your face that you should not be in the kitchen. Yet Trevor insisted that you were fine as long as he or another trained staff member was there to supervise your culinary explorations.

It quite frankly became a joke around the office, so much so that even the marketing team but up anti-(name) signs, your face in a red circle with a line through it, to show that the kitchen was off limits except it you were with Trevor.

Other departments got creative, the set-design crew made a finger-blender that Shayne used cos-playing as you during a Try Not to Laugh episode recently that had you howling with laughter. The next best was the Games Team forcing you to play overcooked with Trevor and Josh from Good Mythical Morning and then half-way-through switching to real life.

Everyone on set that day lost hair and years off of their life. You swore to see Josh growing grey hairs by the end of it and Trevors loving eyes but shaking and nervous hands and smile pinning you down as you barley missed your fingertips every time you chopped a vegetable or turned the over up way to high to steam a fish.

But the greatest of them all was you and Trevor all completing the 'Can't see, hear, or talk challenge' in the Kitchen with the rest of the Good Mythical Morning Kitchen staff. Trevor played the can't hear character as you choose the cant speak one and Josh the can't see.

At one point you were waving a knife around trying to prove your point without the ability to speak as Trevor panicked, throwing his hands up in the air and shouting as Josh felt around almost getting attacked accidentally by you before everyone was calling the shoot off and even debating of airing the video. (They eventually did and it raised to the top of trending over the culinary section on youtube, take that culinary professor!).

─────── · ·

─ · · TREVOR TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @thevintagefangirl @maricarorp @uniquely-haunting @laurasdrey

[triglycercule]

who asked for this. nobody. but unfortunately as a creator i actually have to CREATE for my au 😞😞😞😒😒😒 jk fashion au ink and swap designs ig,,,,,,

ink. ink. ink. she's totally not holding a gun to my head as i type this,,,,, because she CANT break the fourth wall ok she totally doesnt realize that she's forever gonna be stuck living life as a high schooler with no chance of ever graduating or progressing in life,,,,, BECAUSE THERE'S NO ANGST IN JK FASHION AU HAAHAHAH 😁😁😁😁 anyways she's soooo silly :3333 i'm not a connoisseur of anyone that's not the mtt (biased 🙂🙂🙂) but i wanted her to be silly but also a bit freakish,,,, ya!

what do the people think about INK???? featuring everyone in jk fashion au so far 😇😇

dream: "ink is another one of my close friends. she's been there for me when even nightmare couldn't, and i've supported her likewise. sometimes her head is in the clouds, so i send her texts to remind her of things like homework and such. maybe she forgets lunch sometimes, so swap and i give her a share of ours. and when ink wants to talk about anything she's thinking of, whether it's a painter's use of color or the reason we exist, i'm always open to listening. she's an amazing person, really."

nightmare: "ink. ah, that girl is an enigma, truly. somedays she supports me on my path to world domination, and other days she just laughs at me and says as if it were a fact that i would never achieve it! ugh... but despite my slight grievances, she's dream's friend, and i've grown fond of her. quite often, without me even requesting, she gifts me paintings. now, they may seem normal at first, but recently i've discovered a pattern with them. as if ink had peered into the mind of god and depicted it visually, the paintings assist me in handling dream appropriately. i must say, she's skilled as well..."

killer: "see now ink? she's my type of gal. we get along pretty well, hehe! we're on the same wavelength or something, i dunno. not like she can predict what i do, but i wouldn't be surprised if she could, but ink and i just click. we talk about all sorts of silly stuff; similar sense of humor, after all. ink and i can yap about different shows and movies we've watched and stuff, she gives really good insight on the more technical stuff like color psychology and framing, and she once drew me art for one of my big follower milestones on twitter! she's suuuuper cool, haha!"

dust: "okay, just... keep this between me and you, but i think ink has some sort of secret sixth sense? i dunno. nothing against her, she's a fun person. just that, uh... sometimes she just comes up to me when i least expect it and starts asking me about my progress on my writing. which is... confusing. i've only ever told killer and horror about my writing, so i don't know how she knows...?"

horror: "y'know, dust and i have a bit of a bet going on. all jokes and all, but i've got a feeling ink's pulling some sort of elaborate spying prank with how much she knows about us... dust doesn't think so. but i'm betting 20 bucks she does. like, once i was at a vending machine and the stupid thing didn't give me my goddamn candy bar, ugh. i had to stay cool. but then ink just pops out of nowhere, says its okay for me to drop the act and get mad around her, and then does some sort of vending machine trick to get the candy?? yeah, she's definitely a wizard or something. in a nice way, i guess."

NOW SWWAAAAAAPPP she's silly. i included the bit of her getting into trouble because of her good will SOLELY because swap gets bullied a lot in other aus 💀 (askerror, something new, etc,,,,,,) i also read a canon underswap doc??? SWAP IS SO SILLY!!!!! i cant really explain her personality through text i'd need to draw comics for her which uhhhh,,,,, (looks away)

THOUGHTS ON SWAP????

dream: "ah, swap! she's one of my dearest friends, i truly care for her deeply. out of sheer coincidence it seems, that she, ink, and i were chosen to be the star students of the school, but surprisingly it works out well... swap's truly a delight. she's a great motivator, and she's saved me from a few situations that would've ended up terribly had she not been there, hehe."

nightmare: "sometimes the world hates me. ah- well, what i meant was, the path of fate has me set on a predetermined path of struggle! and yet, when even i, the queen of negativity, could not stop my kin from slipping on a ridiculously placed banana peel and almost breaking her neck, swap was her knight in shining armor and caught her. needless to say, just as fate despises my bloodline, fate also has angels sent down from heaven. i do suppose swap is one of those, bless her soul."

killer: "heh, swap?? that girl's a riot! couple years ago i tried convincing her to show me some of those sick moves she learned at kickboxing, or karate, taekwondo, whatever... she broke my wrist, haha! but then i pulled a knife on her and then we both got in trouble. hah, good times, good times. no, i didn't stab her?! in fact, she's very good friends with mr. mew and the grumpen, thank you very much! a friend of my kitties is a friend of mine!"

dust: "she's nice. her type of energy is something you only see is like... a sugar-rushed ink, and killer normally. but anyways, swap's a good help around the school. she's a bit ridiculous every now and then with all her "the magnificent swap" and how she's a bit of a showoff, but whatever. aren't we all? anyways, at least the scavenger hunts she makes during school dances are fun."

horror: "swap is uh... she's something. gotta admit, she's pretty normal compared to some of the people at this school. but man... enthusiasm, much? eh, whatever. i'm not the type to complain when her burritos are to die for. we're partners in cooking class... let's just say, she carries us hard."

anyways jk cross and epic soon. sooner than you think heheheh

[rodolfoparras]

Monday’s thoughts

I don’t think Price would want to be in a fwb relationship but he is in one without realizing

He’s got this friend back home from his recruiting days or at least that’s what he says when 141 asks who you are

“A friend,” “Good guy,” “nothing to worry about,” price says to 141 as they step foot inside your vacation house and it turns out he wasn’t lying you cook them dinner you let them borrow your pool or private gym or whatever you got and you’re even able to provide each one of them a room of their own for the night and while they’re ecstatic about their sleeping arrangements they can’t help but wonder where the captain will sleep but they quickly get their answer when they see the captain stumbling out of your room, in only sweats, hair wet as if he just washed it and a cigar already snug between his lips, whoever catches him in the act, is quick to disappear from the crime scene

When they return on base soap or gaz is the first to mention your relationship with the captain joking about how they didn’t think there was a sane person in the world who was able to date him but Price looks confused as ever when he says that he isn’t dating anyone

Ghost who didn’t even want to participate in this conversation is the one to mention how someone saw price walking out of your room that night and although price freezes in place a red hue tinting his face he swiftly explains that the two of you aren’t dating but that sometimes you do hook up well he says it’s under his breath stumbles over his words before he manages to get out a sentence

“Like friends with benefits? Didn’t know you were the type to do those kinds of things captain” Gaz says with a brow raised trying to keep the smile off his face

Price is quick to correct him telling him you aren’t friends with benefits. You just hook up when the mood feels right like when the two of you had a good dinner that you had cooked for him and watched some movie he’d wanted to see and he got this warm feeling in his stomach or maybe it was the blood pooling to his lower half or maybe when the two of you are drinking beer on your porch while watching the sunrise and it just feels right to make out that isn’t what being friends with benefits is right?

The rest of the group doesn’t argue any further they let it go but price doesn’t, cant stop thinking about it especially when he’s over at your house, you’ve had some nice dinner, watched some game and drank some beer and this is the part where you take him to your bedroom but you’re doing none of that instead you’re rushing around the house getting yourself ready because you have a date tonight

And price is kind of frozen in place doesn’t know what to say because what the hell is there even to say. The two of you were friends that sometimes hooked up, it wasn’t an arrangement of some sort it was just something that happened whenever it felt right and you weren’t obligated to do it every time and you could sure as hell go on and date whoever you want so why does it hurt? Especially when he crawls into your bed- your shared bed while you’re away for your date , the bed has never felt this big and price has never felt this empty

[the-introverted-writer-for-life]

Running around in circles

I cant form coherent thoughts but im so hyped i need to talk about shiny cousins wehehe

Theyre sosososo silly to me

Fun fact the cousins headcanon started cus i have an online cousin who sounds JUST LIKE GEM. Its like uncanny. Except my cousin sounds a tad more tired and awkward sometimes id say buuuut still!

Weheheh

They were like the bestests of friends growing up!! Pearl was slightly older and Gem always looked up to her. Gem was always the golden child yet in her eyes Pearl was better, and she wanted to impress her, always be her player 2!

Except then she actually joined the series her cousin partakes on! She's part of them cool kids! She meets Pearl's friendgroup. She makes friends herself. Its nice!

And then when push comes to shove- she choses her brother over Gem.

Pearl chose Scar over her.

How could she?

Pearl explained, a season later, that its because Scar was there for her when no one else was, she had to return the favor, she couldnt just leave him hanging when he needed her. And yet Gem takes that the wrong way

"I WOULDVE BEEN THERE TOO IF I COULD AND YOU KNOW THAT."

Gem hates being remembered of all she missed out on, all the drama and bonding and experiences. All the jokes she will never get or be a part of-

And. (This is way more connected to the roleplay i have going on. Where Gem gave pearl and scott the wrong awnser to a her related question on the trivia and scott got swapped with his DL counterpart)

Pearl wishes she cared. But she cant. Cause out of petty grudges. Drama she knows the watchers wont even like enough. Because its fake and unprovoked. At least in her eyes.

She cannot care cause because of that pettiness she lost her closest ally, her soulmate. And instead was left stuck with- the worst version of him. Who cannot even believe her when she says this isnt the place they split up in. This isnt the place they cut the thread, its one with a way stronger bond without the need of any strings attached.

She is stuck with the person that hates her the most.

But of course. Gem doesnt know that. Gem doesn't believe that. She *can't* believe that. Cause how could she?

Everyone loves Pearl. She knows that. The thought of someone hating her is just- ridiculous. She's the first one to dare and do such a thing! And she's the best at it too.

She's no longer her player 2. Gem is her own player 1 and she decides if to go solo or co-op. And she choses Joel. She choses her own team. And Pearl wont be a part of it.

And Gem wont care when Pearl's sad or pathetic.

She wont care.

....

But she does. She hates herself for caring cause Pearl just looks like such a hurt puppy. She looks like she's seen a ghost from her past.. no. A demon. And-

Gem doesnt care.

She can figure it out... its what she gets... right?

Right...

Tsk. And there she goes again. Running back to her "big" brother for help. (God knows thats bs, Pearl's the big sister a good 90% of the time, the only thing that doesnt line up is their actual ages.)(but. Hey. Maybe she does need him to be the big one now. Keep her from throwing herself to another pile of snow. Relapsing. He cant enable her, this isnt to hurt Scott anymore, itd be to hurt herself. He'd rather gain and burn a powdered snow empire than trade her even one bucket.)

Sorry this is a mix of shiny cousins and snowblings mb

I love this rp sm mwehehehe (it wasnt even supposed to be family centered thats the best part)

...I don't even know what to say except how long did it take you to type all that out

But this is like

Next level

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

[moodymisty]

Hi! Ive read most of your darksiders content and I absolutely LOVE. IT.

I wanted to ask if you could write some smut for death? And while hes gentle with it to not hurt the fem! Reader he kinda cant cope on like how soft the reader is (as in,stroking his hair,telling Him nice things,checking every once in a while to see if hes comfortable) andhe knows she does that because she cares about him and the moment being so vulnerable he kinda cracks a little (what I mean by that is that he lets it show accidentally how positively overwhelmed he feels by her love)

Honestly,i just want death to feel loved.

Anyway,take your time and thanks in advance yo!.

Author’s Note: Let Death have a moment of peace and happiness, he deserves it. I love your prompt and did with it what I could while trying to keep it in line with what Death would allow. Because I feel like he would find some things demeaning, even if it's someone being caring.

Relationships: Death/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Slightly NSFW, Death being a bitter git but not much else

The first thing you hear over the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears and labored breathing, is Death asking if you are well.

He always tries to be gentle- though not as much this time- even if he isn’t meant for it. It almost makes you smile.

“I should be asking you that too,” You say between breaths. Your skin brushes against his, significantly cooler. He gives a short grunt that you could consider a laugh, given who it's coming from.

“Is that because I’m old?”

You give Death the worst glare you can muster, rolling on your side closer to him in order to do so.

“Now isn’t the time for age jokes, Death.”

The Reaper gives you a dry chuckle, ignoring the way tour hands push down on the mattress beside him in order to push your torso upward. He does little more than cross his arms as he leans against the headboard. You wouldn’t call it casual- not relaxed either- but he is more at ease than usual.

“A pity then. I thought it was a good one.”

He distinctly ignores the irritation in your face as you come closer, now leaning over his torso to look him better in the eyes.

He’s still wearing the mask. It shadows his eyes and gives them an almost ghostly, glowing look. You’d never have the heart to ask him about taking it off, now knowing what it means. He’ll decide when, if ever.

It’s not as if it’s a hindrance for him, as he’s demonstrated.

“You need to just let someone care about you without turning it into an insult.”

As if he would ever; The reaper is clearly displeased with that statement, until you start to shift and rise upward. You get up onto your knees, moving until your straddle him at the hips. You sit down gently. Death looks at you, his height advantage making it so he doesn’t even have to look up at you.

He can feel your hands against his skin, scarred underneath your palms. He snatches one of your wrists before you've even moved more than few centimeters.

“Are you done fooling around?” He halfheartedly jokes, looking at you with a bemused and irritated expression. You tug your hand, and the reaper lets it go. You know he could easily not let you, but he's always been careful with it.

“Not yet.”

While Death might not always acquiesce on all of your silly, human ideas, he does here- much to your surprise. Maybe it's because this time he actually doesn't know what idea it is.

Though in reality it isn't one at all; It's just a fit of the moment desire to get Death to stop acting this way for once.

He continues to let you lay against him, gently pressing a kiss to the scratched and worn texture of his mask and the bit of his exposed jaw beneath it. He doesn't move, you feel his hair brush against your skin. You're surprised he's even allowed it this far, at least without complaint. Though when it comes to things a bit more complicated than you just being a tad annoying, Death tends to get almost eerily silent.

Your skin brushes against his more, you've yet to put any clothes on and the heated flush of your body presses against his significantly colder skin. You kiss his jaw again and he lets out a sigh.

As your body slides downward you can feel him tense underneath you, and though he doesn’t say a thing, you can tell that the idea of him being doted on is making him feel almost anxious. Any time you have in the past he's either masterfully turned the tables on you, or managed to distract you enough that you'd forgotten your original idea.

This time however, you aren't going to let that happen.

You can’t help but let out a shaky sigh as your heart begins to race again, only minutes after it finally managed to calm down. It’s amusing how the horseman of Death can do that to you, with even just a simple touch of your own making.

He feels the way you gently grind against him, looking at him like he’s the only thing in your world that matters. For you it’s true, but for him he dreads it. He knows nothing good will come of it, despite how good it might feel right now.

He grips your hip tight like it’s going to bruise. He can feel the warmth of your skin against his palm, polar opposite to him.

“Stop.”

He doesn’t mean it, his voice cracks just the tiniest bit. You stop, but look at him in a way that forces his eyes to advert away from you. You hate the way he so adamantly refuses to let himself feel any sort of positive affection even though it's clear he wants it, and so wish to change it. Even if he'll only let you do so for one night.

“Let someone else take the reins for a bit.”

[whole-circus]

hello! could i ask for nswf alphabet for ben?? i dont know if you do things like that so feel free to ignore it! thank you in advance and take your time love! ❤️

BEN Drowned NSWF alphabet!

➥ Ofc i will write it!! Here you go! Im so sorry that i kept you waiting so much...!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ben is definitely more on a chill side, he wont do very much but i would say that he still does a nice job. Usually the whole love-making ends up with you taking shower together, and just cuddling in bed with a drink of your choice. It is either this, or you playing in some video game (or you watch Ben do it while laying on him).

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Okay, Ben is totally a chest guy. Doesnt matter if you are male or female, small or big - boobs are boobs and he loves them. And he also loves thighs! Like you could just choke him with them and he would thank you... Loves grabbing them when you guys have sex. I should say something cute and lovey-dovey like he adores your eyes..well, they do lit up in pretty way when you are reaching your climax i guess??

Body part that he loves the most would propably be his hands? They are..just pretty, okay? A bit veiny with slender fingers, the perfect to reach every place on your body!..Plus holding hands during sex!!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Ben love to either cum inside you or on your belly/ back - depends what position are you in (with your consent ofc). There is something about watching you so messy and dirty just becasue of him!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ben is 100% a panty thief, he either steals them from laundry basket or from your drawer. What he do with them? Jerking off obviously..

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I see Ben as someone not really experienced. High possibility that he isnt a virgin, but he definitely takes all his knowledge from porn. Because of that his knowledge isnt the best and he may act suprised that things doesnt works the way they do in porn. But Ben is eager to learn! So no worries, you bothwill be satisfied!

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Pretty basic, but positions like missionary, doggie style or cowgirl/cowboy keeps him going and he finds it the most comfy.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Humorous! Im not saying sex with him isnt romantic, but im sure you guys both giggle a lot during it! He dont tell you jokes or anything, but he sometimes can say such a dumb thing that you just cant help but laugh. Awkwardness with Ben doesnt exist, he will make it all better and make a fool of himself just so you wont be stressed!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Carpet does match the drapes, blond yet a bit more dark than his hair (on his head). He is either well groomed, or he has a full blush. Will make it clean if you ask him tho! Ben himself doesnt have preferences when it comes to you.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

There is intimacy, just on this weird way! Like yes, you both giggle a lot but its all from love! He definitely says "i love you" a lot, but isnt the type of guy to scatter the roses and lit candles in the room.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He did jerked off a lot, at least once per day, before he met you. But after he get into relationship with you, he does it way less - its either if you are not around for a long time or you dont want to have sex with him at the moment.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I think he would be into praise kink, call him good boy and tell him how a good job he did and he is all weak. Also mirror kink and he has a thing for recording your both acts - not like you both will show it to anybody, but there is some kind of arousal in it. Ben also loves creampies! He feels so proud of himself that he made you feel so stuffed, and just watching his cum leaking from you make him feel something.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Mostly his/your room and bed, its the most comfortable for you both and you have the privacy. But! He wouldnt be opposite to do it in aome more risky place.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Oh man, what doesnt turn him on? You could do anything and he still finds you attractive and sexy, no matter how you look at this moment. But mostly you wearing his clothes, teasing him and flirting with him or just light touches on his body (yk, the one that are supposed to be innocent but they arent). Ben also loves to receive nudes from you and not nude photos (in underwear and stuff).

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurt you or do something that you dont want to do. Sex should be for the both of you, not only one-sided.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ben doesnt mind giving, you would be suprised how good at it he is! He is great at using his mouth and his fingers, and no matter if he is deep inside you with his tongue or if you are deep inside him you always feel good.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

More on slow and sensual side, but its becasue of his laziness. When he is extremaly horny tho, he will be faster, but nothing too much.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are pretty often, usually when you both are in rush but want eachother really badly. And Ben loves them, not as much as proper sex but still. He enjoyes the rush and the adrenaline.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Ben is willing to take a risk, he is kinda unexperienced so he is eager to try anything you want to try.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

One round and he needs to take a break, yet he can last pretty long. But if you havent came, then he will gladly use his hands or mouth to help you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I believe Ben would own toys, just basic things like dildo or vibrator and often use it during masturbation. Maybe so a fleshlight?? He will gladly use them on you, and will be happy if you do the same for him during the whole love making.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ben is a huge tease, both with his words and actions. He definitely will make you all horny for him, and then just leave you be until you wont beg him to touch you. When you are close to cumming, he just straightly pulls out and mock you. And when he is a bottom, such a brat he is, doesnt listem to anything you say!

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Ben is really LOUD. There is literally every possible sound coming from his mouth, whimpering, growling moaning..you name it!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You will hate me for that so much but he seems like type of person to have one of dakimakuras with his waifu or something and using it for not tasty purpouse (humping ofc)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Around 6inches (15cm) and his dick is definitely more on a width side, nothing too abnormal but widther than average. He has couple of veins, dick curved upward and Ben has very sensitive balls..!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

HUGE. Its easier to tell when he is not horny rather than when he is. If you will want to have sex with him, then he mostly feels the same!

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If the sex was during night hours, he would fall asleep pretty quickly - yet he still would fall asleep cuddling to you closely. He always want to wait until you will fall asleep, but he does that way more quickly.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey I was just wondering if you could do a tadc x reader who dies their hair very often? like every month or so they dye it a different color and no one knows what color it'll be next

TADC cast x reader who dyes their hair a lot!

UEUEUEUUEU hope this is okay! i must admit i was a little uwuwuawua on ideas for a lot of the characters </3 grr finding new songs to play on loop to get me into writing is hard; though currently antonymph by vylet pony is doing things to my brain

CAINE:

makes a huge deal of things whenever you dye your hair simply because he thinks what you do with yourself is cool; and since its the digital world you can get away with dying your hair as often as you want! cant damage what technically isnt real! probably makes hair color suggestions and is absolutely thrilled when you actually follow through within the coming days. prepare to have some weird combos, though... probably changes the color of his suit to match your hair... even adds stripes if your hair has stripes, or any other pattern dyed into it

POMNI:

honestly? more power to you, thats her reaction mostly. would pomni dye her own hair, or otherwise get anything to modify her appearance? probably not... but she thinks you look great with it... probably asks why you chose the current color you went with, as well as asking whenever you change. nothing like "oh WHY? why THAT color?" but like genuine non-rude curiosity... doesnt like outwardly betting or wondering what color youre going to pick outloud since she doesnt want you to think shes rude or something

RAGATHA:

has probably made multiple color variations of accessories she has made for you so you can wear anything without having the colors clash... thinks your hair is pretty, me thinks! doesnt matter what color it is, could literally be the unpleasant green-pink-brown color gradient meme and she would still find something nice to say about it... does sometimes wonder what color youre going to choose next... probably has a hush hush bet going on between her jax and zooble on what color youre going to choose next... huh what no jax didnt just get all moody because you walked in with aqua blue hair- no hes not passing something to ragatha, what are you talking about?

JAX:

as mentioned above he makes bets with some of the other circus members on what color youre going to rock next... if you ask him for any suggestions on what color you should change to next, dont expect any serious answers. even if he is being serious, jax doesnt strike me as the type to care much about colors and shades so hes probably going to drop the most basic colors. ..

"purple."

"what KIND of purple? light? dark? pastel? reddish or bluish?

"purple."

stuff like that, i think! probably fiddles with your hair, especially if you dye your tips a different color... jax fidget headcannon strikes again

KINGER:

on a bad day he might just not recognize you for a short moment... i originally said that as a joke but considering he sometimes forgets gangle is literally standing right next to him, i dont... think thats much of a joke... but after the initial confusion, i think he would really like whatever color you choose! likes playing with your hair, if you let him! he finds it soothing in its own way, and now he just has pretty colors to look at! cant explain why but i feel like he would be very good at identifying colors, so if you come in rocking some new color hes going to ask if its (insert specific shade of red that no one knows the name of. like. amaranth red.. or something..)

ZOOBLE:

honestly, they get it! i like to think that they swap out their pieces in order to fit whatever look or vibe they want for the day; aaaand i personally hc that in the real world they would dye their hair and get a bunch of piercings! though, they dont really remember much stuff from the real world, at least not clearly... but the point still stands, you guys probably get together to make a new look together! though, on days where they dont give any input on what hair color you choose next, theyre making bets with jax and ragatha... dont know why but i think zooble wins the most in the bets... shrugs

GANGLE:

oh she thinks its so pretty! has probably always loved things like that, since its a form of self expression! and she can kind of relate to that since shes an artist, albeit her medium is paper rather than her body... thinks... probably gives shy recommendations for colors if you ask her, is also bad at masking (lol) her surprise when you actually take her idea into consideration and follow through with it... makes her feel some type of way that someone cares enough about her ideas that they literally apply it to their appearance, you know?

[lemonpils]

Clear As Water - Lumine x Cyno

AN: thought id get high and write for a rare pair!! idk i just think they're cuties <333 ALSO SEMI SPICY??? NOTHING TOO BAD JUST HALF NAKEY LUMINE <333

Summary: Cyno and Lumine have started patrolling together around Sumeru. One day, the two go for a swim to cool off, and Cyno cant help but ogle.... and touch.

The heat was almost too much, at least for Lumine. Her steps got slower, her breathing got heavier, she wasn't used to this type of labor. In short, she hated it. But there was at least one thing that made the heat worth it. "Lumine, are you coming?" The white haired male called, he was a few yards ahead. "Yea, I'm coming- don't worry about me." She said with a huff. The white haired male, Cyno, had asked Lumine if she'd like to accompany his patrols for the week, and without a second thought she accepted. Why did she accept you ask? Not sure, maybe she enjoyed his company, his dry jokes, his endearing tone towards her, his smile, his eyes, his...

Never mind, that's not important.

"You look tired, we could sit for a bit, gather your strength." He said with a sly tone, he was somewhat amused at the fact that she wasn't handling the heat as well as he could. But maybe there was a part of him that was a tad worried, he never really saw the traveler so exhausted. "Mm, are you sure? I'd hate to make you late on patrols." She spurted out. In truth, she wanted to rest, but she'd hate to be a burden, especially in front of the General Mahamatra, so uncool. "No, its alright. We've been making good time, we have more than enough time to rest." He lightly smiled as he walked back to her, taking a piece of hair that had clung to her face and curled it behind her ear. "There's a small stream just around the corner of this cliff, why don't we go for a dip?" He offered. A tint of blush hit her cheeks, making her face look even more red. He smiled at her reaction, they had grown closer over the passed few months, this week was just a bonus. "That sounds lovely, I need to wash this layer of sweat off, I feel gross." "Heh, poor Lumine, how will she ever survive?" He said sarcastically.

"Shut up."

The pair made their way around the cliff, their eyes widening as they saw the water running down a grassy patch of the canyon, the perfect spot to cool off. Lumine was the first to sprint down, with an unusual amount of energy to what she had before. Cyno quietly chuckled at the sight, following behind her.

He watched as she got to the edge of the stream, she stripped herself of her shoes, then her socks, then her dress...

His face began to heat up, he couldn't process how she felt so comfortable to show- everything. Well, almost everything. She still had her bra and underwear on. "Are you not coming in?" Lumine asked, already in the water, a look of cooled bliss on her face. Cyno coughed out his slight moment of embarrassment, and nodded. "Yes, just give me a moment Lumine."

He stripped himself as well, till he was just in his shorts. Lumine ogled at his white hair, how it looked so much fuller without his hat on. "The waters so nice, you're missing out." She teased.

"I said I'm coming, missy." He scoffed with a smile, stepping into the water and sighing happily as the cool water began to lower his temperature. The two of them soaked in the stream, letting the water carry their heat and exhaustion away. Lumine took in Cyno's expression, carefree, relaxed, so peaceful. She adored it. "You look happy." She smiled. "I am." He lightly smiled back, flicking a bit of water at her. "Pfft, and why's that Cyno?" She teased. He kept his gaze at her eyes, oh how he loved her eyes. "Want me to be honest with you?" He spoke softly. "Always." Her mind was so clear, clear as water. "Because I've gotten to spend this whole week with you, you're quite beautiful Lumine." His light smile grew larger, a hint of blush could also be seen. Lumines breath hitched, what did he just say? Was he being for real? She couldn't believe the words he was saying, there was no way. Did Cyno actually feel that way about her? Did she feel the same...? "Do you mean that...?" She muttered out through her blush. "Yes, you shine brighter than a Lunar Lotus." Lumine leapt into his arms, the water splashed around them as she wrapped around his neck. She could feel her heart beating, she could hear it in her head. Why was she so happy? Maybe she was waiting for him to say something like that, to confirm that the feelings she was having were mutual.

"Lumine? Are you alright?" He asked. "Yea, just... I feel the same." He could feel her smile against his shoulder. "I assumed so, I'm glad." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist. They stayed in each others embrace for what felt like eternity, it got to the point where Cyno could see the sunset approaching, they had to get moving soon. "Lumine, we have to start leaving." He spoke softly, not wanting to immediately kill the mood.

"Not yet." She spatted out.

"Lumine." He warned.

"Not yet Cyno, please." Her voice was so sweet at times. He smirked to himself, moving his arms so his hands were positioned at her flanks. "Last chance missy, we need to go." "I said no Cynohoahaha! W-Wahahait!" She spurted out giggles, splashing around as she felt Cyno's fingers beginning to wiggle and squeeze along her sides. "No fahair! Quihit ihihihit!" She squealed, how adorable. Cyno only cooed at her, taking in the heart warming sight before him. "Not going to happen, you tested my patience for too long." He smiled, a sweet and tender smile. His fingers worked his way up to her ribs, where he squeezed and prodded between them. "I didn't expect you to be this ticklish, dear." "Ahaha-! Cyno plehehease!" Her laughter raised in volume as he toyed with her ribs, making her squirm and splash even more. "Just a bit longer, I'm enjoying your laugh Lumine." He kept a firm hold on her ribs, and being chest deep in water only limited her movement even more. "Eheheha-! Ihihit tihihckles!" She just kept giggling. "That's the point, now tell me- how long have you felt this way about me?" He asked sweetly. "I dohohont know! I cahahant- tahahalk!" She whined through her laughter, he adored it. "You're talking right now silly, dont lie my dear. Your sins way upon your soul." He teased, jumping down to her hips as he kneaded and squeezed, causing a big reaction out of her. "PFFTAHA! Nohohoho! Not thehere!" She squealed. "Not there you say? How come?" He said sarcastically, making sure to keep a good hold on her, he wouldn't want his little giggle bug getting away. "AhahAHA-! Come ohohon!" She squealed as his fingers kept a latch on her hips, maybe this left him open. "Lumine, what are you- ah! Yohohou little-!" And just like that, the tables were turned, Lumines fingers hand found their way to Cyno's underarms, where she skittered her nails all around. His arms clamped down in response to her sudden action, trapping her hands in as she continued to tickle. "Gotcha'! Not so fun is it huh?" She giggled, watching as he crumbled in the water, letting out the cutest whines and giggles himself. "Nohoho! Stop ihihit! Luhuhmine!" "Yes Cyno?" "I'm sohorry ok!? You cahahahan stop nohohow!" He pleaded. She smiled as he tried to get her hands out, but alas- it was no good. "I don't think you mean that Cyno, and remember what you said! Lying is bad~" She teased, pushing her thumbs into his upper ribs, a spot she knew was bad, thanks to Tighnari. "LUHUHUMINE-!" "Are you realllly sorry?" She cooed. "YEHEHES-! I SWEHEHEHEAR!" He begged through his laughter, the water splashed as he struggled, crashing into Lumines face. She decided to have some sympathy and stop, watching him catch his breath. "You okay?" She asked sweetly.

"You- are such a tease..." He huffed, smiling at her. "And you're not? Serves you right." He chuckled, swiftly picking her up bridal style. "Shut it missy, lets get going." He carried her out of the stream, and into a new found world of love.

[shanesbluechicken]

Ooh, for sure for sure! Cant say im 100% emo myself but its not always dark and edgy or whatever stereotype emo has (though yeah ive seen a fair share of my own and thats completely valid)

I was thinking the reader be an anti social but friendly kind of emo. They wear dark clothing, but not all the time or all of it because they still do farming and wearing dark clothes make it hotter and make them sweatier. They dont wear eyeliner (it smudges when they sweat :/) but they do when its a non farming day. An emo in style but a lil softie in heart

I was imagining the headcanons start with shane assuming the reader to be cold and rude because of their appearance but started warming up to them after he realised how nice they were (and maybe add a few dating headcanons in the end if u could)

Thanks again!! Love ur writing sm ^^ -🦝

Shane with an emo s/o

Tysm for the info!🤗

It's based on this ask

TW: heavy language

Gender: neutral

Yes, first time seeing you he was quick to judge to say the least. You definitely stood out with your dark clothes and the even darker makeup and since he didn't know you personally, Shane kinda automatically put you in a box.

Much to his surprise the other town members didn't even seem to notice the fact that you're the extreme opposite of...well, Pelican Town.

It's not that he didn't like your style (he even thought that it suits you well), he simply wasn't familiar with the scene or the people in it. He remembered having some emo kids back in school, but he never interacted with them, only hearing gossip from other class mates who were just as clueless as he was.

In the first week he almost didn't even recognize you without your usual aesthetic, but he already guessed that it must be kinda in the way of work. Black clothes absorb the sun light after all. He had the feeling that something was off, but he couldn't quite place his finger on what.

One evening you entered the saloon wearing your whole attire. Clothes and makeup were spot on and when you took a seat near his corner, he caught himself admiring your eyeliner. Shane could not understand how in the name of Yoba you managed to make it look so...pretty. He banished the thought the second it appeared in his mind. Or tried it at least.

But now he knew what felt so off the last couple times he saw you in the town square, wearing a plain t-shirt and plain pants. This style, YOUR style, completes you somehow. Now you were in your element and fuck, he was staring again.

It didn't take long for him to realize that all the stories and gossip he heard all these years ago were nothing but bullshit. He wasn't better than all these judgmental shitheads tho, considering he put you in a box as well.

You were the nicest person he has ever met, giving out gifts without expecting anything in return and going out of your way to help others. He should have known better.

And now that you two are dating he makes sure to make up for all the times he treated you crappy in the beginning.

Shane loves watching you get ready, taking in every single minute he spends with you. He loves to sing along with you to your playlists when you do chores together. It's not much singing on his side, more mumbling to be honest.

You tried showing him how to put on eyeliner, but he can't even make a straight line :'D

You've tried rubbing your style off, because please his JojaMart jacket can't be considered a jacket anymore. This thing consists of more holes than material.

"Black would suit you so much, I bet."

"No."

It does.

Shane also often times uses clichés to make jokes, but nothing that would genuinely offend you. For example when you'd find a pretty, black stone in the mines and show it to him.

"Look! It's so black!"

"Like your soul?"

Masterlist

[youremyheaven]

"(Mercurials are unfairly critical of others, have you noticed?) and she frequently took digs at me and was one of those people who make jokes at the expense of others."

on at least 5 separate occasions throughout the years i, with the help of another friend, have had to sit down and explain to my mercurial friend that she has to think before she speaks and how you can't just constantly insult people 💀 she's genuinely one of the most critical people i know, some examples include her walking around every inch of my island in animal crossing and tearing apart everything she saw for like an HOUR. yes it was in a video game, and yes im still salty!! she also would ask to read my creative writing or essays and then annotate it with her criticisms WITHOUT ME ASKING HER TO 😭😭 i remember the first time she graded my short story i wrote for fun an F and i was just staring in utter disbelief

she also would constantly make fun of peoples looks in a joking way (myself included) and when i told her to stop she'd play innocent like it was just a harmless joke, begrudgingly apologize, and do it again like a week later. i've observed this sort of underhanded behaviour in two mercury women so i think they might have a habit of it? i get complimented a lot and yes i'm tooting my own horn here but i am very good looking however she had an OBSESSION with getting unflattering photos of me and then sending them to our friends "as a joke" and then would play the victim when i got mad. like sorry i don't want our whole social circle thinking i look like albino shrek omg

OMG BESTIEEE I FEEL SO SEEN IM GOING TO CRY,, WE SHOULD START A SUPPORT GROUP FR

the biggest reason why i cant stand Mercurial women is how theyre sooo deeply insecure that they'll tear apart others just to feel better about themselves

yearsss ago I got a really cute bag for really cheap and i was talking about it with my Mercurial friend and she said "it looks ugly thats why it was cheap" and she was carrying around a tattered, worn out, faded ass bag lmaooo

another mercurial girl who was average looking criticized practically everybody we knew for being ugly. she wore the shittiest clothes and criticized other people's sense of style

an Ashlesha Moon girl i knew never said one nice thing about me but often praised our other friends for no reason and made them sound like the second coming of Cleopatra,, i called her out on it and she told me "i thought you heard enough from others, i didnt know you were desperate for validation from me as well" 💀💀

THE BACKHANDED COMMENTS u mentioned??? bestieee we're all victims here 😭😭

so between 8th and 10th grade, i was in an extremely abusive homoerotic friendship with an Ashlesha Moon,,, she was always putting me down for no reason. i kinda sing,, i am not a brilliant singer but i have won prizes in school for singing so i know i dont suck as a singer. one time she asked me to sing for her on call and then she was silent and said "its not exactly brilliant but its not horrible i guess" 10 yrs later, i wish i couldve reached out through the phone to smack her face,,, i was in my poet era back then and tbh my poetry was pretty good if i say so myself and this girl??? always accused me of plagiarism,, i took it in my stride bc i was like "ok if u think im THAT good then what do i do" lol.

i could go on but ill stop here ,,, i hope i never meet another mercurial again amen

[fruit-salad-ship]

Sorry if this has already been asked and I understand if it's spoilers but how did Peach and Grey meet and what was their courtship like?

Here and there its been mentioned but I cant find any origina posts. At age 17 Peach went to study pokemon healthcare, deviating from her old life, taking a new path she chose. She was the quiet angry looking one in class, and everyone tended to steer clear of her, just how she preferd it. Everyone however except one very tall, very broad, very jolly guy who had spent half a year just watching her stay alone, Grey. He kind of felt a little bad that no one would talk to her, everyone seemed afraid to, so he worked up the nerve one day.

Peach was just off the path to class, having waded into tall grass, ignoring burrs and brambles, to stoop down and look at something. He waded over and saw her glare over her shoulder, turning away to ignore him saying 'hi'. when she did not reply he instead stooped down next to her to see what she was looking at. An oddish no bigger than a tangerine, rooted into the ground, so small anyone would overlook it normally, but she saw it from the path, and had to go look.

She eventually got up and left without conversation. He followed, chatted at her, got no response, but didnt give up. He took the seat next to her in class after that, and did so every day they shared a lecture or lesson. His endless chatter and her majority silence was weirdly functional. Peach pretended not to listen but took everything he said in, and he filled the quiet with chat and jokes that never got laughs. The topics he got chat from her over were almost alwasy work related, she dodged all personal questions.

Year two they seemed to just alwasy be together, peach did not choose this, but Grey seemed to follow her. He never asked for anything, never pried for information, never dug too deep, just told his jokes, and when needed, partnered up with her for work. People would alwasy ask him why he hung out with her, and even Peach didnt quite understand. One day however she overheard his answer, Grey sbest friend at the time was worried for him, that he wasnt in a healthy friendhsip with her, she never gave back. Grey laughed, shook his head and grinned. "I dont want anything back. She's nice, I can see it, don't care if no one else can." something Peach did not understand. She was fresh out her villainous household, the memory of the horrible things she'd done so close to the surface, still painful to think about. She couldnt even see the good in herself, but he did?

Perhaps she could stand to try and at least improve, if not for herself, for him.

So the next day she was the one to sit next to him, an act that did not go ignored. Grey didnt say it but her concious decision to find him and be close was the first step. Things escelated. They started to discuss things outside of work. Peach had never had the freedom to enjoy a lot of stuff regular kids got to indulge in, so when she didnt know a movie or a song, she'd ask to hear it, borrowing his headphone, or ask him to summerise the plot, or explain why he liked the thing. Showing interest in things he liked, even if it wasnt revealing anything of herself.

Year three was the year Grey realised Peach was getting hurt in the field way more, her specilisation in botany and toxicology within that field led her to multiple injuries on the regular. He began to tinker. While he did this, Peach was starting to laugh at his jokes, telling him a few small things about herself when he asked, that before she perhaps wouldnt have done. She became use to him in the student labs with her on the same bench, but one day she turned around and he wasnt there. She had to go looking, to try to find him, hunting all over until he came to the test rooms, spaces to subjects things to attacks from pokemon, intense heat, freezing cold, all controlled under lab conditions. His study and development of items meant he was there a lot, and finding him wasnt so hard.

This is where he spotted her coming to find him, and grinned big. by this third year they boxed together at the local gym, spent weekends hanging out, were good friends who respected each other. Even most of their pokemon got along, save for Val and his cubone, Harley. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to come see something. She was presented with a bolt of cloth. not all taht impressive but she let him go on, he'd not be so excited otherwise. He showed it taking drastic damage without issue, cuts and thorns didnt go through it, stitching didnt get pulled, brute force didnt rip it. The fabric was the Mk.1 repulsion cloth. He made it because she was getting hurt, and he could turn it into gear that'd stop the issue.

Peach though dense as a brick didnt miss the gesture, it was too obvious even for her to bypass. He created something to help her.

She asked if he wanted to get coffee after class, no work talk, just hang out. He said yes. The rest is history.

Theyve been inseperable ever since. There was no courting, Grey respected her too much to muddy their time with that, she showed no ineterest so why would he selfishly push the topic? They were friends, best friends, and things just kind of grew from there, but Peach was the one to start it, he let her do what she wanted when she was ready, quietly overjoyed because he'd fallen madly for that idiot over the three years, being around her was so easy, they balanced each other out.

[theceolacanther]

I NEED TO RANT ABT MTGA

magic the gathering arena is probably the WORST way to play magic, for 1 reason. the fact that the only way to interact with your opponent is with a set of both highly infuriating and highly limited emojis and pre written lines makes the play experience so toxic. i just played a game where my opponent used the "your go" line at me, (one commonly used for bm) WHILE I WAS TAKING MY MULLIGAN. which is insane! the fact that you cannot talk to your opponent while your playing completely removes the community aspect of the game, one of my favourite parts. it turns your opponent into someone who, instead of being a person you can talk to and joke with and have a relationship with into a pre selected profile picture of one of magics big characters thats only motivation that you can feel is to both mess with your game plan and make you lose. which of course is what they are supposed to do, but when you remove that part of that where you can easily recognise and remember that you are playing against a real human being who also wants to win the game is when you make a toxic community who spams emotes to bm, ropes out there opponents when they lose and creates disdain for core parts of the game (like any decklist other than a midrange one). and if the concern is that ppl will be more toxic if they can actually talk, make it optional! use the system that chess.com uses, where once the first message is sent the reciever has to opt in, and then make it so that they can opt out at any time!!

ALSO because i want to be able to meet new people when im playing the game! the fact that i see someone with the most swagtastical list ive ever laid my eyes on and then i can even say that i like it without coming off as a sarcastic pos because the only piece of interaction i have is saying "nice!" and i cant even see the full list! OR when my opponent makes a misplay i want to be able to explain it to them if their confused! because the client sure as hell doesnt. my opponent who hit my with the "your go" when i was in mulligans tried to re-adapt a creature and i want to explain why that doesnt work! they were also literally tapping their lands seemingly randomly! i want to know what they are trying to do so i can help them! i want to make it so they enjoy playing this game that i love! i dont like seeing someone sacrifice their last 2 creatures (one of which had death touch) to my annhilator trigger because they either dont know they can sac their lands or dont understand that they should. sorry for going crazy mode i just think that this is something abt MTGA which i dont see ppl talking about and it really yurks my urk ifywim.

ALSO i will not be buying any emotes and the friendlist system on MTGA is probably only beaten out by the EA friending systems in the competition of least functional thing made by a large company

[tincanton]

my thoughts on jrwi ep 110 :DD

- THEY FUCKING EXPLODED????

- NOT THE FUCKING STICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

- LET THEM HAVE THE STICK YOU MONSTER

- honestly glad chip cant get another deal because thats double fucked

- erm i dont think you should let niklaus decide when the dread queen comes back maybe its just me but that seems. KINDA BAD :DD

- dude not. dont call him papa possibility :((

- CAPTAIN ROSE CAUSED IT??????

- THE STICK 😭😭😭

- yeah chip lost something valuable alright THE STICK. oh yeah and his heart too I Guess 🙄🙄

- [looking at his exploded friends] u alright? ._.

- theyre speaking spanish :> my beloveds.

- augh chip and queen hug :(( i love them so much :(( also WWHO TF IS QUEEN need their backstory asap

- OH MY GOD AAAUGH THE REFERENCE

- "nice forearms. and nicer staff :))" "did you just walk up and say that to me???" 😭😭 (did not even listen to the entirety of the old campaign) (like one episode at most)

- "M̶͈͉̌͐Y̵̼̆͂ ̵͕͆͆T̸̩͖͌͆I̶̘̐̇M̸̭̲̔̇E̵̯̜̍͒ ̶̝̀H̴̲̹͊͌Ą̷͌̅Ș̴̛̉ ̴͚͝Ċ̴̬O̷̻͚̊̕M̴̲̭͐̉Ë̷̢͉́͘.̶͈̰͐̀" "should we call them back who was that :}" gilly my silly 

- awh chip and jay conversation :(( jay feeling guilty because chip had his heart taken away because she didnt get her limbs taken off (girl its okay nobody wants to be amputated) and chip reassuring her that its fine even though its definitely not fine

- get that leg fixed goddamn. dont hide it no-

- Tree Powers Activate >:D [tree powers do not activate]

- "that barrel you sleep in? thats made of trees!" "but... it doesnt have any branches..." 

- starts weeping sexily

- what is happening. i cant keep up with their silly banter this is so funny help

- "H̴͔͌͊Ę̵̢̂̔Ẻ̴̯E̷͓̓͛Y̸̱͂͑Y̴̤̹̅Ỹ̷̧̪Y̷̘̆͝Y̷͓̙͆." "omg i didnt know you were chill like that."

- idk if anyone noticed but gillion is my silly. my favorite little guy if you will. gilly. he is my everything. he is bantering with a tree.

- HELP JAY AND CHIP ARE JUST STANDING THERE

- GOD DONT LET GILL ASK THE TREE AHAHAHHSHDHSHD

- "do u like blue color or red color more?? :∆"

- HOW MANY TREES ARE THERE??? NONONONONO GILLY DONT DO IT-

- "what do they call you?" "how long until you die :3"

- HELP GILLION WIKI. LISTENING TO JRWI IN PUBLIC IS SO HARD IM SO GLAD I HAVE A MASK BECAUSE I CANT STOP SMILING OMG

- Gillion Motherfucking Titty Sucking Tidestrider

- omg the prophecy lore pls i need the truth too

- i did not understand any of that but cool

- "who are you without your titles?" "i dont know" ow. okay.

- god i hate how jrwi can go from so funny to so emotional so quickly. i love it. i hate it.

- albatrio my beloved. my found family

- "if the world explodes, at least we get exploded together :))" aw... i think...

- "what do you see in these fishy eyes 0-0" "what color are gills eyes?" "Bloo :]"

- GRAGHH GILL ASKED WHAT THEY SEE IN HIM. THEY SEE A FRIEND. THEY SEE FAMILY. THEY SEE A GOOD PERSON. HURGH. IM GONNA THROW UP. THEY SEE SOMEONE WHO WILL LAUGH WITH THEM WHEN THEYRE IN DANGER. GOD IM GONNA BE SICK.

Gill: What if there's nothing?

Jay: Have you enjoyed it?

Gill:  I think I had a pretty rough start, but yeah. Even the worse parts. Maybe more than I should have. Yeah I have.

Chip: Then fuck it.

Jay: That's all that matters.

OH SO YOU WANT TO HURT ME. OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

- "Even if its all inevitable I'm glad we got written in the same story." Dont. Dont do this to me.

- HELP NOT THE INTERVALS OF GILL JUST BREAKING DOWN IN BETWEEN SENTENCES

- NO LITERALLY DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE DECK OF MANY THINGS PLEASE

- noo haha chip dont pull a card from the deck of many things youre so sexy hahaa (i already made this joke befo

- "gambling is not destiny"

- woah theres a wicked looking sword in the corner

- BABY BLADE????? yeah were movin on.

- dont eat chip's hotmode swords pretty please

- charlie has made nuh uh and yuh huh a part of my vocabulary this sucks

- istg if "it is what it is" becomes the new "it is my destiny".... 

- naw gill trying to defy the gods by not sleeping 😔😔 bbg just go sleep

- they gotta get outta here man i dont wanna know what happens if they get too many corruption points jays ALREADY AT 5...

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARL???? HELP LMAO

gill: Oh Well you know if you need anyone Else to cast the spell for you... Maybe theres like a PALADIN or someone-

chip: i can try :))

gill: *fucking leaves*

- chip jumpscaring igneous for a bit is so silly of him please use chip being dead as a prank more lmao 

- hnnghhnghhnb star saying that they have to make their own hope while holding zamia hrrrghhr oh theyre In Love in love

- "Life keeps going on. And so do the holes. In the sea. And they call to us." - Jay Ferin

- "he was there one moment and then he turned to dust and died. Wait im thinking about the tree. Green is fine :))"

- he gave gill his seed. yuh huh. yurp.

- gill has two moms that share custody of him :] and also theyre gods :]

- "i have ceremony prepped if you want to make it official :>" HAHSHAHDHS GILL #1 SUPPORTER OF STAR/ZAMIA FRRR

- ZAMIA BLUSHING PLEASEEE

- BAHAHAHSHSH "not a big deal ive officiated a wedding before :)) NOT THAT IT WAS HONORED 👀😒😒🙄🙄"

- TIL DEATH DO US PART. AND CHIPS DEAD. ALL IT TOOK WAS TAKING CHIPS HEART TO GET DIVORCED.

- "ive seen this before :DD do you guys wanna get married?" lmao so this is why i saw some ship art of chip and igneous.

- "i share my finances with them already [gesturing to gill and jay]" is this supposed to imply that you are married to your captains chip nolastname. chip jrwi. 

- jay: nononono we're not adding another Person to that though. oh so you ARE in a polyamorous relationship huh. huh.

- gill: i never thought of it like that ._. (he was in the poly and he didnt even realize)

- wait so have they just decided that if they both roll nat 20s they would get married. ermm. chip i think you. i think you forgot smth... (/hj)

- chip got 0 game just go to your fish man already

- "as a cleric i feel obligated to stop y" "no dont." "sure ._." dang they really want to go into this hole dont they.

- nonono no mold hallway no please no no

- lol did they just forget to mention the literal teleporter they have that can bring them out of the black sea at any point.

- honestly i love that the riptide pirates are just bad at being pirates. like go off and make friends and throw your money off the ship.

- igneous part of the riptide pirates :DD (literally run away from these dumbasses)