#I cannot understand why anyone would truly hate the art... it looks so cool it's so interesting to me.

[beebfreeb]

One of the most heart-wrenching things that've ever happened to me occurred while trying to research the Super Paper Mario art style.

"Ohh what a beautiful and interesting art style! It is very distinctive! I wonder if anyone else has tried or wanted to try breaking it down and replicating it?" Obliviously, I typed in Super Paper Mario Art Style into my search bar... only to find many people calling it ugly and saying they hate it.

This simply could not be... permanent damage was done to my artistic soul.

No joy? No whimsy in this world? No love of computer graphics? Of a certain era of clipart? Of the art that was born from the computer and is difficult to replicate without one? Of the art made when this was something new and fascinating? No love for something unique?

Super Paper Mario don't listen to all those haters I love your geometric art style influenced by what shapes are easily drawn on a computer and the smooth mechanical interpolation within your animations. I love you. Also the music is banger.

[dear-yandere]

☽ darling, don’t leave me.

yandere! jojos + dio. general headcanons. tw: mentions of physical abuse, gaslighting, confinement, and noncon (dio’s part).

art credits: rosuto, ぴの, wW 武 Ww, unknown, suan, tumbleweed.

Jonathan Joestar is obsessive.

A true gentleman, Jonathan knows better than to let his feelings stray from his control. Still, he’s never been one to pursue love, so these feelings are entirely new. He courts his darling like any other self-respecting man of his time, allowing them the space to choose whether or not they desire him too. He doesn’t take being turned down personally as he’s perfectly content with merely being by his darling’s side. Even seeing them fall for another man is something he cannot force himself to intervene in; every smile and laugh not directed at him hurts far worse than any punch he’s ever received, but Jonathan thrives in seeing his darling happy and carefree.

Clingy as he may be, he isn’t above taking a few of darling’s possessions should the opportunity present itself. A head band or hair tie here or there, perhaps a pair of gloves or a hat his darling is sure to not miss — Jonathan is surprisingly adept and subtle at stealing and keeping these little trinkets. Darling may notice a few missing possessions, but it’s nothing Jonathan can’t laugh off as a misplaced item and easily replace with something new and extravagant. Money isn’t a problem, especially when it comes to his sweetheart. If it means they’ll stay by his side — or even look his way as more than a friend or confidant — he’ll give his darling the world.

Overbearing and well-meaning as he is, even gentleman aren’t without their flaws.

“You don’t have to feel the same. All I ask is that you don’t leave me.”

Joseph Joestar is protective with a hint of possessiveness.

Acting much more like an older brother rather than a lover — similar to his grandfather Jonathan — Joseph is hyper-aware of anyone that might hurt his sweetheart. He’s not sure how it came to be this way, really; it’s a first for him to not know even his own feelings. His darling is easy enough to read, and perhaps that’s what got him into this situation, where even the slightest brush of skin against his or the mere sound of them saying his name sends his nerves on edge. He likes the attention they give him when he acts like a brotherly figure; there’s no need to worry about unwanted feelings developing between the pair. At least, darling doesn’t have to worry, because Joseph falls in love despite his precautions. It isn’t until a competent rival appears that Joseph becomes rather intensely possessive and competitive — a rival like Caesar.

He hates losing, especially when he had his eyes set on the goal first. The moment a suave man like Caesar sets their sights on Joseph’s darling, he’ll turn snarky, snappy with even his darling. It’s a brutally stark contrast to the playful, chipper demeanor he usually bears, but it’s easy for darling to play it off as him having a bad day — until he doesn’t relent. His grip is harsher these days, his tone more grating and condescending whenever darling shows interest in his rival. At some point, he’ll lash out whenever they show interest in any man other than him.

If his insecurities and one-sided love are kept unchecked, he has no qualms with cutting his darling’s connection to anyone he deems a threat.

“Of course I’m jealous! You’re mine! You need me!”

Jotaro Kujo is manipulative with a hint of sadism and lucidity.

With a cool and collected exterior, it’s easy to convince his darling that everything they believe is wrong. Even a lionhearted lover will doubt themselves; or rather, Jotaro would seek an individual like this out. He’s used to women and men swooning over his good looks and alluring physique, though he doesn’t care much for the attention. Even when he degrades and admonishes his admirers, they fawn and swoon over him — it’s nothing short of disgusting, really. 

His ideal darling — the only type of person he’d seek out, rather than let come to him — is someone with a steel heart, someone hellbent on rejecting his words as law, someone who puts up a fight. Degrading and humiliating them will be a treat, a fun little challenge to come home to. He doesn’t want them to enjoy this in the slightest; he wants them to slowly break, to slowly doubt every piece of information they hear unless it comes from his mouth. Even the death of a loved one will seem surreal, exaggerated, fake unless he says so himself, and even then he won’t allow his darling that sort of luxury.

Once he’s tied his darling down (with a ring, and with ropes), they won’t see very much of him. As he pursues his career in Marine Biology, he’s often away on business trips, his only excuse for long periods of absence being “it’s too dangerous”, or some slew of insults thrown his darling’s way. He isn’t fond of divulging much of his personal life with them even if they are the love of his life; to him, secrets come hand-in-hand with relationships. Darling’s life is in danger simply by association; it’s best to act as if they don’t exist. Still, that doesn’t mean he’ll let them slip through his fingers. When he wants something, he’ll get it even if it’s eventual. 

Darling was doomed the moment he found an inkling of interest in taming them.

“Don’t look so scared when I’m around. I shouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

Josuke Higashikata is protective with a hint of delusion.

Sweet and compassionate as he may be, Josuke isn’t immune to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and obsession. He rationalizes these feelings as merely being protective of a good friend of his, but it’s not until his friends point out that what he’s feeling is love that he truly understands why his heart pitters and patters like raindrops when his darling’s around. He completely understands if darling doesn’t return his feelings — these things take time, he’ll say — but he doesn’t take kindly to jealousy of any sort. A mere mention of liking someone else will have him moping and distancing himself, but he’ll stay around just enough to ensure his beloved’s protection.

Josuke wouldn’t fare well with a darling who’s familiar with getting under his skin. Even an insult or two to his hair isn’t enough for Josuke to give up on his one-sided love; if anything, it’s an opportunity. Crazy Diamond has the power to heal after all, and when Josuke’s emotions run away from him, his darling may end up with more than a few cuts and bruises. Bones will be shattered, blood will be spilled, and apologies will fumble past trembling lips as darling’s abuser fixes them up — as if nothing ever happened. The only trace of evidence are the tears in Josuke’s eyes and the excuses on his lips — this easily becomes the norm. Both he and his darling will constantly tread along eggshells, the former worrying that his actions destroyed any chance of a relationship and the latter worrying the next time they step out of line, they’ll die.

But Josuke wouldn’t let his sweetheart die, no. He can heal whatever wounds they may receive, even its its from him. He’s a platonic yandere, at worst, and an overbearingly violent one at best. 

“Please don’t scream. People will think I did something terrible to you.”

Giorno Giovanna is manipulative with a hint of protectiveness and lucidity.

This soldato is cunning and intuitive, a natural-born leader with charisma rivaling his true father’s. He turns heads wherever he goes, inspires everyone he meets — it’s almost laughable how easy it is to twine people around his fingers. As a mere Passione soldato, he isn’t much threat to his darling, but as don, any hope of escaping his suffocating love is slashed. His control reaches farther than his darling can ever tread, and although he understands why his little coccinella would go so far as to run away, the thought of being without them is inconceivable. How can he protect them if they’re not at his side? Without him, darling could fall in love with the wrong person, someone who wears a mask and will hurt them once they’ve settled down together; without him, darling could fall in love with a monster. His step-father was like that, and he’d made Giorno’s childhood a living hell. So how could he let his darling tread that same path?

With a well-behaved darling, the don is a fairly normal lover... once they get past all the bodyguards and paranoia-filled lifestyle. Unlike his father, Giorno is not sadistic in the slightest; rather, seeing his darling in physical or emotional turmoil hurts him. He’s more apt to manipulate them in subtle, gentler ways rather than through brute force or threats. After giving them a new identity, he’ll keep them someplace safe, a private island off the coasts of Italy, somewhere heavily guarded and devoid of life except for his beloved and their bodyguards. It’ll be lonely, he’s sure, so he’s certain to visit whenever he has an ounce of free time. But even he can’t replace one’s need to feel social, safe, normal. That’s just the price his lover has to pay as the future spouse of a mafioso.

If he lived a different life, there’d be no need for all of this. Giorno’s love is bittersweet at best, but that realization isn’t enough to let his darling go. They need him, perhaps just as much as he needs them.

“I really can’t take it when you cry like that… smile for me, alright? You’re so pretty when you smile.”

DIO is sadistic, manipulative, and possessive.

Love has never done much for him, not in the way feeling powerful has. He prefers ruling over others rather than giving someone the ability to rule with or over him. His darling is nothing more than a plaything, at best — something to pass the time, something to sate his curiosity. Just how far can he push them before they crumble between his fingers and shatter like a precious gemstone? He takes pleasure in testing these boundaries, humiliating his darling as if that will help him understand this odd feeling humans call love. It’s possible for him to truly fall in love with his darling, but they will never take priority over his desire to end the Joestar bloodline. Perhaps, once he accomplishes this goal, his darling will be something nice to come back to, something stagnant and forever his.

He’ll go to lengths to break his darling, over and over again, see how much torture they can withstand before they realize that crying out or begging gets them nowhere. Will they hide their defiance under a facade of obedience, or will they truly break? It’s all an experiment to Dio, but either way, he’ll force them to be his little sex slave — sometimes, if they’ve behaved particularly nasty, darling will be the sex slave of his devoted followers, a little reward for being such wonderful subordinates. 

Apart from sexual torture, he’s keen on testing his darling on tidbits of information from the books he reads — completely mundane and often vague questions designed to make his little slave fail. It’s just a precursor, really, because he likes seeing them shine with determination only for it to shatter before their eyes. Punishments always follow, usually humiliation or sexual assault of some sort; though if he’s in a particularly bad mood, he won’t shy away from physically hurting his darling. All the better to break them with.

It’s a miracle if darling survives this little game of his, but if they do, he’s certain to keep them around for far longer than he originally anticipated. Being immortal can get so boring, you see, and what’s the fun of bottomless money and endless casual sex if he can’t keep an entertaining and worthy slave here or there?

“Tell me you love me as I fuck you into the mattress.”

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 2/4:

.:New Miraculous Asks:.

Anonymous said:

Can people just STOP calling Marinette a "stalker"? Like, seriously? Especially TV Tropes. They have her listed under the trope for "Stalker With A Crush" and even have a video source of her(from Copycat) which was taken WAY out of context. They also listed her under "Stalking Is Funny If It Is Female After Male", which IS an existing double standard, but Marinette is still not an example and wouldn't be even if she WERE a stalker, because Wayhem's stalking actually WAS played for laughs!

Granted he was stalking another male and we don't know if he has a crush on him(but if he did it would be...unfortunate), but it's still an example. Plus, they claim that Volpina is about her learning her lesson regarding her stalker tendencies, but that no matter how many times she learns it, it never seems to stick. Yes, because everything is Marinette's fault and she's the stubborn shallow bitch who needs a kick in the ovaries, it's not, you know, the writers making her look bad/OOC!!!

THIS. ALL OF THIS.

Oh my god, I cannot tell you how infuriating it is to see “stalker” get thrown around like that. I would need two hands to count the amount of words that have lost meaning to me because people throw them out wildly and without any self-control. Stalkers engage in far more aggressive and obsessive behavior than Marinette, and usually also feature them harrassing whoever they’re stalking (such as calling them a lot), and they also never stop when they’re asked to. Marinette doesn’t fit the description of harrassment at all; Chat Noir does more than her and I don’t even call his behavior “harrassment” because that’s another word that’s lost all meaning by now and I wouldn’t use it in the first place.

Anyway, I think the Wayhem example is valid because Marinette’s crush on Adrien is written very much like a celebrity crush, so it’s similar territory.

On the note of “Volpina,” I do not understand it considering that Tikki was all on board with Marinette following Lila for the sake of getting the book back; that was one of the cases where there was an alternative motive out of just “follow Adrien” (which is not really something we see Marinette frequently doing; usually when we see her watching Adrien, it’s because she wants to approach but can’t bring herself to).

And yeah, most of the time, it’s just the narrative. The show basically puts it all on Marinette to solve all her personal problems (while constantly piling more stuff onto her) instead of getting active encouragement (no, eye rolls, verbal jabs, and groans do not count) from her friends and Tikki.

Like, what am I supposed to expect from Marinette when her friends still actively support Adrienette? By supporting Adrienette, regardless of the comments they make, they’re supporting Marinette’s behavior. Same with Tikki.

Anonymous said:

Have you noticed that with love interests of Marinette and Adrien, it's always the girls who like Adrien who are shallow, mean bitches and competition to Marinette(like Lila, Chloe, Kagami at first), while the boys who like Marinette are nice, friendly, and have no competition between each other whatsoever, sometimes not even knowing there IS competition(Adrien, Luka, Nathaniel). It's just really unfair and sexist because it's like girls can't be civil/friends and must fight over a guy.

That’s been a common topic of salt for a long while, yeah, I just don’t talk about it much.

It’s a difficult subject because I’m the type who can’t hold it against the guy characters (so I won’t dislike Kagami for “being similar to Chloe/Lila in terms of aggressiveness,” for example) because it feels wrong to, but I can hate the trend itself.

It’s also doubly unfair because Marinette’s crushes blip away quickly (like Nathaniel and Nino) while Adrien’s crushes stick around specifically to upset Marinette, so it’s like the show is saying, “if there’s a character who loves/supports Marinette, they gotta either stop or leave” (I’m pretty sure I got a “Didn’t Need Burrow” about the narrative sending Luka away and I don’t doubt it).

Anonymous said:

Personal Heacanon: Marinette and Chloé used to be friends until Marinette found out what Chloé (and Sabrina) has been using her commisions (mostly elaborate traps "to guard off thieves") for. This is why Chloé has it out for Marinette specifically. This is why everyone stood by as it happened. This is why she hates liars. This is why her "friends" are so casual at making jabs at her self-stem (they never believed she never knew what Chloé was truly up to). And also why Lila had it so easy at gaslighting everyone againts her (she's "relapsing" and it's easy to think she "deserves it").

Dang. That’s intense.

Yeah, Punch has given quite a few ideas about Marinette and Chloe previously being friends if I recall correctly. I like the idea even if I never use that kind of idea myself.

Anonymous said:

I feel like Adrien could be a really cool character if they focused less on romance? If that wasn’t his only motivation, and they developed his friendships more, and they didn’t have this entitlement. I also would like more actual friendship in regards to adrien & marinette? And him actually having interest in her but denying it bc he thinks he can only like ladybug. I feel like the sexism of the creators/writers are seeping into the character a lot and ruining it, too... It makes me really sad.

I’m hoping Adrigami will help adrien sort out a lot of his stuff bc Kagami doesn’t take any crap, and I actually really like their relationships, but I don’t have much hope. I would love for the show to use her and this relationship as a way to call out and develop adrien, but I doubt that will happen bc that would mean acknowledging his flaws. It’s just disappointing, really....

Yeah, Adrien could’ve been interesting, especially if they used Adrimi to its full potential, but they don’t. The show also has a history of letting Chat Noir get away with things and not punishing him so I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't even ship the love square anymore, but Fanon Adrienette is a thousand times better than canon Adrienette(the same goes for every other side of the love square, obvs). It's what the canon should be but we fans can only wish. Take, for example, the whole "she's just a friend" statement. In canon Adrien makes it because he genuinely sees Marinette as that and nothing more(which of course isn't bad, it's just sad when Marinette's always humiliated for the sake of getting his love).

In fanon, he makes it because he's actually in denial about his feelings for Marinette(which reminds me of a definition for "just a friend" on Urban Dictionary, which had Adrien drawing her name with hearts and flowers around it, and yet, when Nino asked if he had a crush, he STILL insists she's just a friend!), but realizes his mistake later.

In canon, Adrien thinks Marinette is Ladybug only because it's convenient for him since she's in love with him. In fanon, he actually does notice things about her that make her similar to Ladybug, and falls for her BEFORE knowing their identities because he sees the same qualities of bravery, strength, and femininity that he sees in Ladybug(I remember one fanfic where Marinette stood up to GABRIEL'S overprotectiveness, and Adrien could only admire how much she resembled Ladybug in that moment).

In canon, Chat is ignorant of Ladybug's feelings and agency and doesn't comfort Marinette when she's sad; instead, she has to comfort him. In fanon, Chat Noir cares about how Ladybug feels and values her agency, his jokes are genuinely funny(although canon Chat can be funny too, it's just the where and when), and he backs off when Ladybug is uncomfortable. In fanon, Chat Noir genuinely helps Marinette when she's sad and sometimes comes to see her just because, not out of plot convenience(and calls her "Purrincess" a lot more, why did the English dub just change it to "little lady"?).

It makes me think, maybe, just maybe, if these things were canon and the world was fair to Marinette, I might actually ship it; it might actually have a fighting chance against Lukanette and Adrimi. But while all these things are cute, it only makes canon more disappointing. Fanon is doing what canon should be doing. Fanon is supposed to build off of what canon gave us and expand on it. Fanon shouldn't create its own alternative because canon isn't giving us enough to chew on, it shouldn't have to.

Sadly, I think most of the fans, including the Adriennette-shipping ones, should be on some level in charge of the show; things would be SO MUCH better for the main ship(which isn't even progressing that far) and SO MUCH fairer to Marinette if that were so.

I feel this very much so. The show has been around for a long time and fandom can shape a lot of things. I think the love square wouldn’t be as beloved as it is if not for the fandom expanding on it and making it better (obviously, in some cases, they don’t make it better, but the love square is plentiful so there has to be some good takes out there).

Some shows do in fact let the fandom build off the foundation it makes and then you have things like Astruc outright lying and saying that Chat apologized in “Frozer” when he, in fact, did not, which makes everything more muddled.

maxwaspace said:

What is your opinion of the Scarlet Lady webcomic by Z.O.E?

I’m not into the love square no matter how better one might do it (it’s been soured too much for me in the show), but I do get happy seeing Zoe’s art and wondering how she’ll change/expand on the plotpoints in certain episodes.

Anonymous said:

Not sure it anyone's already said this but-

Canon Audrey: you're fired!

MC Audrey: you're hired!

Okay but hear me out.

Canon Audrey being put in charge of dealing with Miraculous’ writers, MC Audrey put in charge of hiring new ones.

Anonymous said:

Something the genuinely scares me is how close some people’s predictions where for miraculous I just saw predictions people made for season 3 and it’s worrying that the worst possible scenario for them ended up happening beat for beat.

The show can be very, very predictable that way. The way I’d describe it is that I do expect these bad things to happen in really convoluted and dumb ways, but it still surprises me by exactly how predictable it ends up being. I mean, I catch certain things really easily and the phrase, “the whole episode just flashed before my eyes,” is something I commonly say.

Predictability isn’t entirely bad, but when the prediction is unwanted? Yeah, there’s a problem.

Anonymous said:

You could basically summarize the difference between what Miraculous fans want and what the Miraculous writers want by using the John Mulaney "Delta Airlines" bit as a template.

I had to get said bit explained to me since I haven’t seen that one, but yes, now I can confirm.

Anonymous said:

How do you think Chat Blanc would play out if Marinette and/or Adrien were already dating other people? Like if Marinette had already moved on, do you think the narrative would punish her for it?

I imagine it would have Adrien still be crushing on Ladybug and he’d break it off with this other person when he realized that Ladybug is Marinette, which the narrative would then promote as “the correct decision” because they’re soulmates and such. If Marinette has moved on, she probably won’t care about his advances, which would lead to Adrien getting upset and maybe being convinced that an identity reveal would solve the problem and/or speeding up getting Hawk Moth defeated/arrested.

Marinette would probably be blaming herself for not being “sensitive enough” to Adrien/Chat’s feelings, which is what led to him being akumatized.

I could also see the girl squad forcing Marinette to give Adrien the present similar to canon, but maybe the beret doesn’t have a heart and Marinette isn’t actually interested, but rolls with it because the girl squad insists on it (probably convinced that she’s denying her own feelings).

Anonymous said:

What do you think constitutes as a "strong female character"? Do you think the girls and women in Miraculous Ladybug are "strong female characters"? Why or why not(I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment, by the way!)? Because to me I feel like a lot of them are given depth and focus, but they're often forced into stereotypes, and let's not forget how the show derail's Marinette's character for a joke. But lots of people think a strong girl has to be boyish or else she's weak somehow.

“I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment“ dfhgkfdgfg

I guess it depends on what you consider a strong female character. Like, can a shy female character be “strong” if maybe she holds firm to her morals or can fight people off?

I think Marinette has the potential to be a “strong female character” but the show nerfs her using her crush on Adrien (which raises so many red flags that I can’t cover here) and all it’s really done for her is get her laughed at and humiliated. If her life didn’t revolve and get ruined so badly due to her crush on Adrien, I think she’d be a strong female character (I know what the Season 3 finale did but I’m not buying any of it until we see proper results in Season 4).

That’s not to say that characters with crushes can’t be “strong” but it has to not control their life. I mean... okay...

Would Sabrina be considered a “strong female character” if she recognized Chloe’s treatment of her and worked hard to get out of it? Is the want and attempt to move on from something what constitutes “strength,” or do they have to succeed?

My conflict is always... I want to give Marinette credit for trying to move on from Adrien, but I know that it’s just the writing trying to make things seem tense/strained just to make it feel “better” when they actually get together. You see it all the time in anime/manga where a misunderstanding/self-doubt ends up hurting the relationship of the main ship; it’s to force conflict and separation, giving the ship something to overcome so they can get together.

I will say though that shy characters can be strong, physically strong characters can be weak, and so on. What defines a “strong” character may be vague to me, but I take it as I go. I would like to say that Marinette is a strong character on her own because she wants to improve even if she fails, but I also don’t want to give the writing credit for something that ultimately means nothing. I want to say that she’s strong but the narrative seems to do everything in its power to tell me that she’s weak.

Let me give a non-Miraculous example: say that you have a pacifist character, but there’s a villain who has done terrible things, cannot be redeemed (plz do not swarm my inbox with “anyone can be redeemed” comments, this is a hypothetical), and any method besides killing them right there and now would lead to more destruction/lives lost.

You might say that that the pacifist character would be “strong” in sticking by their morals and trying to find another way even if they ultimately would fail and the villain would get away, but an argument can also be made that the pacifist is being stubborn and letting people die because they are unwilling to rethink the morality they’ve chosen. Is a pacifist a pacifist if they’re letting the blood of other people spill because they themselves aren’t willing to have the blood be on their own hands? Are they “strong” because they stuck by what they believe in or are they “weak” because they refused to expand what they believed was “right”?

You could apply that to Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender (I know he’s not female but stick with me here). He was faced with having to murder the Fire Lord to the point where a past reincarnation who was raised on the same values as him didn’t agree with him. I think it was acceptable for him to try and stick to his morals and find another way, but he came up empty and the show had to give him a way of taking away the Fire Lord’s power so Aang didn’t have to make that choice in the end (there’s also that thing with the rock to his back and having to give up Katara but we’re not getting into that).

People could argue that, “oh, he admitted to himself that he’d have to kill the Fire Lord and then he got the Deus Ex Machina so it’s okay!” but the problem there is that the narrative basically gave two options: Murder or Take Away the Guy’s Bending, but there was incredible risk involved in the latter option. Aang almost lost himself against the Fire Lord and risked everything so that he would not have to kill him.

I would argue it makes him weak. I would argue that needing the narrative to favor him makes him weak (which is one plus for Marinette I guess the narrative is usually against her???). The lack of ability to understand his past lives and see things from their perspective made him weak for me, as him holding so stiffly to his values made it appear that he felt his ways were “better” than everyone else’s (which had been a long-standing problem for me and I never forgave him for “The Southern Raiders”).

Anonymous said:

What do you think of adriens mom Emilie. Like what do you how do you feel she wound up using the peacock miraculous personally I’m leaning into her being a villain due to the fact that there aren’t any stories of a peacock hero (unless they retcon that) and that her husband is well freaking Gabriel who has no real form of morals. Also I can’t help but think of how they got the miraculous in the first place. Anyways overall what do you think they will do with her or think of her right now.

I see her like I see any dead mom in media (I know she’s comatose, not the point); a tool for angst. Her reasons for using the peacock could be anything (might even be that she was given it and simply wearing it was damaging to her, or she transformed once to try it out and that was that), but I just don’t feel strongly about her because I’m not invested in the Agreste plot.

Me personally, I headcanon that she’s kind of like Bustier where she appears good but is actually very damaging. Instead of the generic “good mom who tried to do good things for her son but folded to angry dad’s demands,” I would like to imagine that she’s selfish in her own right and was part of the reason for Adrien never going to public school; she’s possessive herself (a contributor to why the Agrestes are so wealthy) and wants her son to remain close to her even if she genuinely cares about him and should want him to be able to go and learn from the world.

But I imagine they’ll probably make her either “pure good mom” or “villain like Gabriel where she’s ‘sympathetic’ but also evil.” The show has never been good at doing gray morality (see my MC Audrey for example) and usually messes things up if they try.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't like Mme. Bustier, but if they DARE pull the pregnancy jokes with her--and I don't mean "pregnancy puns", like those would be ACTUALLY funny without offending anybody, but "ooh, she's pregnant so now she's moody and has wacky cravings and screams at everybody and is a nightmare to be around" and other things that just scream "male writer who mocks female biology and doesn't understand women", I'm going to cry. We already don't like Bridezilla, and this isn't any better.

Ugh. I don’t even like pregnancy plots in general or anything related to pregnancy (my followers who have been around forever and know of my hatred towards babies: wow what a shock!!), so adding on “jokes” like that?

Hard pass. I already don’t like Bustier so the mere idea of her potentially getting any focus there--

Anonymous said:

What do you think of the Alyanette ship? Personally, I'm ambivalent to it, but I can sorta see Alya being bi and having a crush on Marinette but Marinette doesn't like her back. Or she could have a crush on Ladybug. But I don't like the idea of it being mutual, considering how pushy and invasive Alya is. It also doesn't make sense for her to so insistently push the love square if she likes Marinette. But perhaps that's where some of her sarcastic quips come from: jealousy(cliche I know).

I’m always here for bi representation (no one can take my bi disaster headcanon’d Nino and Kagami away from me), but I actively dislike the Alyanette ship. I was okay with it back in Season 1 but it started to fall off in Season 2 and officially die in Season 3.

I don’t judge people by what they ship (...much; there’s obviously that little part of me that can’t help giving the side eye) but yeah, not for me.

Anonymous said:

As a different flavor of angst: Can you imagine Marinette’s class going to Riverside park in NYC and Tikki spotting the Jeanne D’Arc statue? I always wondered what it would have been like for Tikki to see Jeanne burned alive by the people she swore to protect. I think Nobody briefly touched on this for Witch Hunter, but not many people I have seen (probably missed something) talk about it. What do you think?

I’m indifferent to past holders getting mentioned and acknowledged; not sure how I feel about them given specific names and such (I kinda like seeing their designs and such but making them actual people from the real world? mmmm not here for that as much).

I like the idea though of addressing those real world things and having the kwami reacting to them. Like, it did make me genuinely sad in the New York special to see Liiri come out and call out Gilbert’s name, only to see this other guy standing there and we know that this Gilbert guy is very much dead by now.

On a related note, I’d be all for a special getting into a kwami’s problem and not making everything Marinette’s fault, so having Marinette maybe helping a kwami through theri issues and it leads into getting more lore on the kwami.

Anonymous said:

I just had an epiphany today: People who hate on Marinette for being "mean" to Lila/teachers telling Marinette to ignore Chloe and Lila and treat them nicely are the equivalent of real adults telling girls who are being bullied by boys that "he does it because he likes you." Ladies, raise your hands if something like this has ever happened: "Jamal tried to cut my cheek open with a razor!" "Oh, Aaliyah, he's only doing it because he likes you." Now that I've seen it I can't unsee it. Disgusting.

“Marinette, they’re just jealous of you, that’s all! Can you really get angry at them for that??”

us: yes

Anonymous said:

Thinking about Puppeteer 2 and how Marinette's identity could have been blown if she had talked to Tikki because of Plagg's incompetence angers me beyond belief because I know, just KNOW, if that had actually happened, Marinette would take ALL THE BLAME for it like there's no tomorrow. It would never occur to anyone that she normally talks to Tikki while she's alone and had no idea that the "statue" in front of her was a real boy AND her partner, or that Plagg should have said something. Ugh.

I KNOW, RIGHT????

That was such a big annoyance to me in that episode. They literally neglected the actual reality of what would happen (”Oh, Tikki! No one’s here, I could practice on this Adrien statue!”) for the sake of humiliating Marinette... again.

Anonymous said:

Your comment about how Ladybug always says she's "in love with someone else", as if that should matter diddly squat when the problem is with Chat not respecting her feelings on their own without another guy in the picture reminds me of a #YesAllWomen post I saw on Twitter. It read: "'I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you." It's just like this except without the dating and the fact that Chat DOESN'T leave her alone.

And then you remember that the “someone else” she’s in love with is the exact person who’s disrespecting her feelings and you proceed to hate everything.

Anonymous said:

The statue scene in Puppeteer 2 could've easily kept its humor by having Adrien fall over when Marinette puts her weight on him and almost kisses him, then Marinette goes "Gasp! You're not a statue!" Marinette is always being forced to humiliate herself in the name of "love", even when she doesn't deserve it, so for once, let Adrien be the one utterly humiliated of his own doing. Then they could have a sad scene where Adrien ACTUALLY comforts her and...wait for it...LEARNS A LESSON.

Alternatively, someone who works on the statues comes in and, also mistaking Adrien for a statue, tries to do some sort of work on him.

Anonymous said:

Since we can all agree that this show is sadly not very good at girl power/inclusivity, how would you tweak the show to make it more genuinely female-empowering/inclusive(can include racial/sexual inclusivity)? Besides the obvious(including more female and/or POC writers on board).

Orientation-related inclusivity isn’t even that hard. Have a character get a call from someone and just be like, “oh, it’s my boyfriend/girlfriend,” and then other companies can just dub it if they’re so afraid of characters who like the same gender.

Firstly, I’d have Marinette learn and become more of a mentor character to other characters (male and female), lean more into more “females in power” (like Mylene showing genuine interest in being the next mayor), either less focus on the “girl antagonists are evil/unredeemable” plots or at least make them legitimate threats that don’t need the narrative to cater to them to make them threatening.

Secondly, Adrien needs to STOP being the one to keep telling Marinette/Ladybug what’s right or the way to do things. I can’t stress this one enough.

Thirdly, maybe not having a season dedicated to three guys getting miraculouses while all the girls are either questioned, self-reveal, or get their miraculous revoked. That might help. :P

Anonymous said:

The saddest thing is that I can see ML going through a "Fate: The Winx Saga" in the future and having an awful, edgy reboot to appeal more to adults.

Different writers probably but at what cost.

+ more sexualization obviously since that’s usually what “more adult” means; Audrey gets the cleavage that her design clearly calls for at least, but again, at what cost

Anonymous said:

I hate what TheOnesWhoMustNotBeNamed have done to the Love Square but I also don't like Lukanette and Adrigami (nothing against the characters themselves). This is going to be one of those shows that regardless what ship wins is going to disappoint around 90% of the fans.

No hate for not liking Lukanette/Adrimi, I understand that.

And yeah, there’s a <1% chance that they can pull out anything satisfying.

Anonymous said:

Off topic, but I realized why I don’t like Clara Nightingale’s design, there’s no light to her eyes, makes her look kinda dead, kinda evil.

DQ tend to do that when they’re the ones animating. I remember “Christmaster” doing particularly well with the eye highlights.

Anonymous said:

What do you think about the future Miraculous specials (Africa, Japan, Rio, Shanghai, London)?

Will be happy to see a new setting because it shows different cultures (though there’s always the chance that the culture is poorly-represented) but that’s basically it. Specials are usually just a cash grab that are just there and any expansion on lore and such is shunted to the side for the sake of love square drama, judging by the New York special.

Anonymous said:

I haven't watched the New York Special yet, don't think I can bring myself to tbh, but this whole time I thought Aeon was the name of the superhero persona, and that the fandom was collectively calling her civilian identity Uncanny Valley bc her model was that bad.

I was genuinely shocked to find out that her civilian identity is named Aeon and that her hero name is Uncanny Valley bc that is not only a stupid name, but kind of insulting since she's an android character of color. (Well, she's a character of color except for when shes running around as a pale naked superhero. Majestia, give your kid some pants!)

oof

Yeah, the Uncanny Valley thing threw me off too. “Aeon” really does sound like a superhero name.

I can’t believe they made her a robot and were like, “mannequin robot design.” I question so many things about the decisions made around Aeon fdkjgjfdg.

Anonymous said:

Do you think they’ll ever leave DuPont college, since it’s a middle school (essentially) and go to a lycee (high school)? I think they’re in their second year of four at DuPont, judging by the previous class picture.

I doubt it, unless we get more seasons? It would mean having to model a whole new school.

Anonymous said:

So I was reading again tikki brand boyfriend and this come to my mind and I have to share it with you.... Tikki is the mother in law of marinette in the future lol (sorry if this isn't the right blog to ask this) (I love yours au, you are amazing!)

(this is the wrong blog, yes, you’re looking for mc-lukanette, not miraculouscontent)

Thank you though! i agree, that’s cute, ahaha~

Anonymous said:

Did you know that there's a TV Tropes page for LadyBugOut?! And someone even left a review there saying they liked it and that they were sick of the Marinette embarrassing and wanted some Lukanette. They say your au is their favorite au in the fandom! Isn't that just swell?

Yes! And the TV Tropes page is fantastic! Thank you!

Anonymous said:

OMG IVE FIGURED OUT WHY MARINETTE IS UNABLE TO GET OVER ADRIEN!!! She’s under the influence of a love potion called Amortentia, which causes a powerful obsession from the drinker (it’s from Harry Potter). That’s why she’s so obsessed, and that’s why she can’t get over Adrien! She literally can’t while under the influence of the potion! She just needs to drink the antidote, and then she can finally be free!

Oh no!! Someone get this poor girl an antidote, STAT!

Anonymous said:

I was just reading your review of Silencer(which I totally agree with by the way), and when I got to the part about how Ladybug lost her voice and her powers are voice-activated, it got me thinking about how annoying Chat was being(as another anon noted, which I also agree with), and then it hit me. While it may just come off as his usual flirtatious banter that's innocent, the fact that he doesn't even seem to mind Ladybug not being able to detransform because then he gets to "be with her" forever and ever and ever amen just proves your point about Chat Blanc. He cares more about being with Ladybug than Ladybug herself, so long as she gets to keep being Ladybug "for him", that's what matters. Remember that the girl he fell in love with was the superhero persona and not the girl under the mask. He couldn't care less about who that actual girl is so long as she's his "lady" and loves him back. He just wants her to uphold the image of his strong and powerful "lady" that he admires.

(Glad you enjoyed the “Silencer” review! Thanks!)

Full agreement here! Chat isn’t really in love with Ladybug; he’s in love with the image he’s made of her and wants to keep it that way, no matter how much he may suggest otherwise.

Anonymous said:

Luka is soooo much more interesting with Marinette like, why isn't he the love interest? Same with Kagami for Adrien. To be honest it would be cool if the show set up the love square at first but then slowly started to change to Lukanette and Adrimi once Marinette and Adrien realized their crushes were just not working out. They can still have an identity reveal, but they'll refreshingly stay friends. But the writers don't have the ovaries to do that, I get it. -_- Such wasted potential.

They could’ve done a really interesting bait-and-switch but they decided not to. The love square is full of holes and flaws that they’re very likely never going to address (outside of anything used for that “gAsP maybe they won’t get together???” drama), so having it actually be addressed and be like, “okay, we’re better as friends,” would’ve gone over so much better.

Anonymous said:

I hear people complain all the time that Lukanette is toxic because Luka is merely the "second choice" for Marinette, and that she just uses him as a rebound when she fails to get Adrien's attention. But the truth is, that's not how it is at all. Luka's not anywhere near her "second choice". He gives her tranquility and stability, and she helps him loosen up and have someone to express his creativity towards. Plus, it's totally normal for teens to have two crushes whom they can't choose between.

THIS

ALL OF THIS

I am so tired of people saying that Marinette is “using” Luka in someway as if it’s a conscious decision on her part to take advantage him.

Luka makes her happy. That’s it. Luka is aware of how she feels and respects her space, but I guess that makes him a “pushover” and “he lets Marinette walk all over him” because he didn’t get upset with her and embarrass her in “Desperada” by calling her out over her Adrien blindness.

Anonymous said:

People who say "I like Marinette but she's getting to be pretty embarrassing sometimes" really don't get that the show constantly forces her into situations where she's embarrassed and made out to be incompetent. Like, it's not her that's embarrassing, it's the show that's always embarrassing her. Kind of like Serena/Usagi in the (shitty)DiC English dub of Sailor Moon. It's getting irritating to hear people continually rag on Marinette as if SHE'S the clueless idiot, rather than the writers.

There are some things that happen to her that she literally could not have predicted. Like, just saying, if I had someone claiming to be my friend, I would expect them to know I’m anxiety-prone and not pretend to be a statue just

Anonymous said:

Remarried Empress Anon: I can see Felix as the Duke and maybe Jagged Stone as Kosair (but an uncle and not her brother).

I agree with both of those! Jagged Stone as Kosair/Koshar, omg.

Plus, the idea of Luka and Felix being “friends” amuses me.

Anonymous said:

You know, I find Felix/Marinette content to be really funny. Because, Felix in fanfiction is a completely different character than his canon self- with a different personality, background, and maybe even last name. So, the entire Marinette/Felix fandom is literally just Marinette/oc except it's always the same oc

I struggle to get fully behind Felinette because so much of it does rely on fandom interpretation and playing with fanon in general (plus, having to clarify “I ship fanon Felinette” is weird).

I do however agree that it’s interesting that it ultimately comes to a character built on fanon grounds, and how much more acceptance characters get when they’re based on “canon”/originally canon characters.

Anonymous said:

How would you write the Miraculous PV version? Just wondering.

I don’t think I could without drastically changing characters and at that point it’s not really the PV anymore. “Bridgette“ and Felix’s relationship is the exact opposite of what I like to watch/read about so yeah, changing both of them to what I like would either be too severe of a rewrite or me working too far within the restrictions set out for me.

Anonymous said:

There's a YouTube video claiming that someone will figure out that Marinette is Ladybug and that she will suffer...I mean, yeah? Isn't that what we've already been getting? I mean, not the first part, obviously(and when we have, it's been undone), but the second? Have we been watching the same show? No, have we? Because Marinette suffering, sadly, is not anything new.

lol “Marinette will suffer!” and us like “did you seriously use future tense as if Marinette isn’t already suffering??”

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who feels like Miraculous Ladybug is feeling less like a magical girl show and more like just another superhero show? This isn't even because of "girl power" or anything like that, or the fact that there are male Miraculous wielders like Chat and Carapace and(long dreamy sigh) Viperion. This is because the outfits don't really resemble magical girl outfits at all and, after watching various magical girl shows both in and out of Japan, Miraculous is starting to feel like its genre is shifting from magical girl to that of "superhero" in its broadest term. And I know I said I wouldn't bring up "girl power", but the fact that so many of the girls aren't treated respectfully by the narrative and are pitted against each other, to the point where they're more likely to lose their Miraculouses or reveal their identities(which often culminates in losing their Miraculouses), only adds to this because the Magical Girl genre is about female empowerment and solidarity.

It's sad because I really don't want this show to become one of those shows where "there might be one or two girls, and she might even be the lead, but it's still mostly guys who are front and center doing the heavy lifting" that we get all the time. Things are starting to change for the better and I want Miraculous to capitalize on that emergence of female empowerment as much as possible. Plus, with the New York Special, the magical girl aspects of the show have been toned down if not obliterated entirely: the transformations for the superheroes only last one minute, and they feel more like the Avengers than Sailor Senshi(which I don't mean in the most literal sense, of course, I am in no way saying that none of them can be male.). Plus they pulled the whole "Samus is a Girl" thing TWICE! TWICE! Come on, if you're show is really about girl power, it shouldn't come as a surprise when girls are, well...powerful! And especially not in Magical Girl for obvious reasons.

So while I'm not saying it's bad for a show to shift from the original genre it was meant to be in(although it must be done carefully, otherwise it looks like you don't know what you're doing), and there is of course no wrong way to do Magical Girl(except for Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, do NOT go there!), it does make me wonder. And it's kind of disappointing, because I really love Magical Girl and I feel like shows like these could introduce the genre to a wider audience and could renovate it as well. But unfortunately they're going a different direction, and that makes me sad. If not for the transformation phrases/sequences and the fact that they have animal companions, I imagine most people would be totally clueless as to how on Earth this show counts as Magical Girl. It still counts as such for me, but it's deviating farther and farther away from the genre to the point where it becomes nigh unrecognizable, or like even the show writers forgot what genre it's supposed to be. Sadly.

Yikes.

Yeah, I can’t imagine how seeing this show must be like for people that are more savvy with magical girl shows. Me personally, I had to be told that it was a magical girl show because it honestly just gave off the “superhero show” vibes even with the magical girl-esque transformations.

Plus, with magical girls, you usually expect a group of girls? Here, we have Ladybug and Chat Noir, who the writers keep being like “they’re equals” which... yeah, that’s fine but it doesn’t really work with the idea that this is a magical girl show? I mean, “Party Crasher” was basically Ladybug and her reverse harem of superhero guys who just got out of a “males-only” party.

I dunno, coming from someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience with magical girl shows, it just doesn’t have what I would expect when I think “magical girl show featuring a healthy dose of girl power.”

Anonymous said:

I was once reading this review of Miraculous Ladybug called "Miraculous Ladybug is a Hot Mess: A Rant", and while it's a good video and you should watch it and I totally agree with everything she said(plus, it made me laugh a few times!), I had a huge issue with the way she made Marinette's stammering around Adrien to be ALL HER FAULT since he's never mean to her and is always patient with her(yeah, more like oblivious), but that "she's incompetent" and "cockblocks herself", which annoys me because Marinette on her own is not the incompetent one here(I also don't like the term "cockblock", like, can we not? But anyway...), rather, it's the writers who make her incompetent for cheap laughs and don't allow her to improve or let anyone(but Luka, bless his kind soul!) truly be on her side. She then had the nerve to say "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on", when, NO, once again, the WRITERS are the ones who define her by her crush on Adrien.

It's one thing to blame a character for something even when she's clearly written by a writer, because characters are supposed to be consistent yet flexible and have free will in-universe. But when she's written this inconsistently/it's obvious the writers have it out for her(to the point where they even say it) it is nigh impossible to pretend it's an aspect of the character herself and not the writers at fault. THAT'S where you draw the line between blaming the character vs the writer.

In fact, speaking of Luka, she also said that she wants the show to get rid of Luka because he's just a "plot device" and has no reason to like her beyond the fact that she's a "funny girl". She also said that Luka is a stereotype of the "cute bad boys who are emo", when that's blatantly untrue. She's allowed to not like Lukanette but all the things she's saying really ignore the point of his character and that his life DOESN'T revolve around Marinette; the writers simply don't respect him.

Even worse, she contradicted herself by saying that Lukanette is pointless because "we all know that Marinette is going to get with Adrien; it's endgame so why does the show even bother with Luka?" Then right after that says that Kagami's okay and that it's okay for Adrien to move onto Kagami because Ladybug has rejected him as Chat so many times(which is apparently not the case for Adriennette because "MaRiNeTtE's JuSt InCoMpEtEnT" right?). So teenage girls aren't allowed to like other boys or date more than one boy, yet teenage boys can date as many chicks as they like. Nice.

And apparently, any problem in a relationship or potential relationship is the girl's fault no matter what. She can't approach him because Goddess forbid girls not always be perfect and capable? She's incompetent and it's all her fault she can't properly talk to a perfectly nice, cute, FAMOUS boy. She rejects him every time he confesses despite him knowing it will fail. Her fault for being mean and not giving him a chance. She gets tired of chasing him and decides to look at someone else since it's not like she's legally married to Boy #1? She should stick with the original boy since they're gonna get together anyway. He gets tired of chasing her and decides to look at someone else since it's not like he's legally married to Girl #1? She should've realized his feelings for her and returned them since they're gonna be endgame anyway. Has this lady ever even been a teenage girl?

Plenty of teenage girls get tongue-tied around the one they love even if he or she is a perfectly nice, sweet person, it doesn't mean they're incompetent(especially when the girls are fictional characters in a world set out to punish them for not making progress and for trying to make progress at the same time, and the fact that the boy is a celebrity who is always made oblivious and kept distant enough from the girl so she can keep putting him on a pedestal and never truly get to know him). Plenty of teenage girls lose interest in one boy and so fall for another. Yet it's somehow only okay for boys to do it? Seriously?

And then for the episode "Ladybug", the reviewer continues to rag on Marinette, blaming her for the fact that her reaction to getting expelled was "I can't let that nasty Hawkmoth win", claiming she wasn't reacting like a normal teen or human in general would react in that scenario, completely ignoring the fact that it's TIKKI who doesn't comfort Marinette and forces her to focus on her duties as Ladybug and almost getting akumatized. She's right about the plot moving too fast, but she doesn't take into account WHY it's moving too fast, because the show doesn't focus on Marinette's inner struggle and what she has to go through. Instead of giving her time to process her thoughts after all that goes on and providing Tikki as a source of comfort and support(which she's, you know, SUPPOSED to be), they make Tikki berate her and force Marinette to push it to the side.

She's never allowed to feel. And that's why it hurts all the more when this woman insults Marinette for her perceived ineptitude, and she's fully allowed to dislike Marinette, critique her behaviors, dislike Luka, critique his role in the story etc., just don't reinforce a double standard as you do so and look closer: ultimately most of Marinette's problems are due to her not being permitted to FEEL. She's not allowed to be nervously in love, or be calm, or be offended, or be just not ready.

The writers keep pushing her in one direction, to be emotionless, to be selfless, to be nice, to be honest, to be "the mature/responsible one" to be a perfect little "Purrincess", to not push for or want anything for herself, even though the show is supposed to be about girl power! She does somewhat touch on that by saying that Ladybug never gets to "take a hit" and that the Marichat scene in Glaciator was too short, but she never goes into why everything is too-fast paced. And if she did, she wouldn't be saying everything she does about Marinette and Luka. Because Luka is more than just the "plot device" she dismisses him as.

He's like a calm oasis, the apple of the hurricane who keeps Marinette calm and just lets. her. breathe. He's possibly the only person who doesn't berate her, who doesn't mimic her, who doesn't insult her, who doesn't ignore her. And the one time he does, he apologizes RIGHT AWAY when he sees how sad she looks. And the funny thing is, I used to hate that scene, because when I first saw it, I thought "Oh man! Luka did the same thing as everyone else did once!" But now I see that it serves as a contrast, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to the other characters in the show. Whereas they never apologize for how they treat Marinette(and often she somehow ends up apologizing instead, sadly) and in fact seem oblivious to it at times or just don't care, Luka notices, Luka cares, and Luka apologizes. That shows that he cares about her and her feelings, unlike the rest of the characters in the show.

And while they do care about her, they're never held accountable for how they treat her. Anarka and Plagg are probably the only exceptions that I can think of(who contribute to the plot of course), but they're obviously not love interests, and the video doesn't talk about them, so I won't talk about them either. But my point is that this review, while good in other ways, is still problematic in this regard, for how it completely ignores Marinette's struggles and how they affect her, as well as the value of Luka's character(even if the show doesn't recognize it at times) and the POSITIVE effect they have on each other(especially since he actually, genuinely, wholeheartedly loves her and is patient with her, since Adrien is barely even her friend and Chat is pushy and entitled. And he has a life outside of her too, which this video chooses to ignore.)! So yeah, I'm sorry this took so long, but I just had to protect my favorite characters because that video did them so dirty. Thank you for coming to my Lukanette Ted Talk! Have a miraculous day! ;3

...Wow????

Can I just say wow??

Firstly, kudos to you for having the patience to not only write all of that, but simultaneous deal within Tumblr’s limitations while doing so? I almost wish I had a video detailing all of these topics (not exactly a video response to that person, but just detailing all of this without explicitly calling people out).

Secondly, I absolutely, 100% feel you on the double standards. I have seen so much hypocrisy in my experiences and it’s insane how people will bash Marinette relentlessly and then let Adrien off with a bunch of excuses, or hate Luka for essentially existing and then accept Kagami.

I also hate the idea of disliking Luka because he’s there to make Marinette feel better, and then liking Kagami because she causes conflict, like the implication is that conflict equals good and things that make Marinette feel loved and cared for are bad because love square endgame, I guess.

It’s exhausting, especially when Marinette is fourteen, clearly tries, but is getting no support. Like, have you ever thought how weird it was that Tom and Sabine seemingly knew back in “Gamer” that Marinette was crushing on Adrien, but in “Weredad,” they don’t worry about the fact that Marinette is into someone else or wonder what might’ve happened with Adrien, like if he might’ve hurt her in some way? If the assumption is, “oh, they just think that’s a teenage thing, flip-flopping between love interests,” well... Tom clearly takes what he thinks to be her current crush very seriously, and even if it was true that they presume she’s just flip-flopping, that really doesn’t show them to see Marinette as more than just a clumsy teenager-in-love stereotype.

So yeah, the characters who are meant to be there to support her ask no questions, but here’s Luka with his sweet “you can tell me everything or nothing, you can be yourself around me,” line, and yet... Luka is the problem???

Sure, how dare this sweet boy NOT cause Marinette more stress. He makes Marinette feel better about herself and therefore he’s “pointless” (which, really, is the true mark of someone who doesn’t care about Marinette).

Ugh.

But yeah, in conclusion, people can have insane double standards when it comes to Luka and Marinette, and thank you for the Lukanette Ted Talk, this was a really good piece! You have a nice day too! ;3

(note: the below ask seems to cut short at the end and I didn’t get a message back about it but I at least wanted to have it here so the anon has (most of?) their story heard even if I can’t properly comment on it:)

Anonymous said:

Relating to the ask about Marinette imagining the events of the series. For me it would be realistic as I sort of see myself in her position for some parts, especially how her friends are represent (mainly Alya) and I can see myself picturing the events of the story (surrounding them) to some extent.

I'm continuing on to explain and rant about how I relate to Marinette. So about Alya's pushiness with Marinette's crush and how she won't let her move on. I used to be sort of friends with this person and one day we hanging out at school and she started badgering me to tell her who my crush was, even though I told her I didn't have one (I didn't have one but even if I did it wasn't her business, especially because we hadn't really interacted for a couple years).

She pressured me enough that I felt the need to make up a person, then she called me out just after I did it because she knew I was lying but didn't realise how uncomfortable I was lucky we were by ourselves so no one could hear how embarrassing it was. It still is but I sort have gotten over it (that's why I'm hear complaining). For her being made to sit by herself because everyone else paired of, I can relate.

I have never been the person who is really close with the friend group (probably because I'm quiet and struggle to interact with others), but I still I hang out during class time, but there have been times when two of the friends sat together and the other friend chose not to sit with me but just in front of me (the tables can fit two people at them) until one friend I went to primary school asked "what about [me]", so them she sat next to me.

The person I went to primary school with also has chosen to sit with the person who was not to sit with me so she could sit closer to the other two friends diagonally across from me on the table next to mine. I can understand Marinette in The Chameleon for how she would of felt when her friends turned in because I am left wondering if my friends even like me, although primary school friend sometimes tried to get to wait with them when we were waiting for the teacher to show up.

As I mentioned earlier I anxious when trying to interact with people who are even considered my friends so I wait for them to invite me to hangout with them. And for the ending of The Chameleon when everything went back to normal, in primary school we had this task we were told research a person and write a biography on them so as the teacher told us we were writing a good copy and the work in our books was a rough draft.

I wrote the information down as I would the good copy to make sure I was happy with it. When we were writing the good copy, I started to worry I had done something wrong as I had seen my friends work and they bith had just written down the facts. So as my friends and I kept having arguments and fights so I told them that I hoped I remembered to spell all the names correctly because they were not names I was knew how to spell which was true so they didn't question it as I could tell they did

[kicksaddictny]

Kicksaddict Sneakerhead PROFILES Interview Series: @CakedaGawd

After a long Hiatus, we’ve returned! Our popular Profile series has been requested almost on a daily basis (Thanks for the tweets, dms and emails). We were even threatened! (Thanks by the way).

Cake The Gawd! This one was so much fun. Tap in.

Where are you from? Brooklyn, NY born in Crown Heights raised in East Flatbush.

How long have you been collecting sneakers? I was introduced to sneakers in 1991 but I started collecting for myself in 98.

What’s your favorite sneaker and why? Air Jordan 6 Infrared. It's the shoe Michael was wearing when he won his first championship, and to me just it’s just the most beautiful Jordan shoe to date! The silhouette is unmatched, it is timeless, and no matter how many times it is retroed I will buy it!

Besides your hometown, what is the best city for sneakerheads that you know of? Why? I would say LA 100% !! It is a vibe out there. I am part of a sneaker group and 75% of the people in there are from LA. They really about the culture they know their shit and they are fresh as fuck too.

Do you collect just for collecting or do you collect and rock? I collect and rock. That is why I double up on certain shoes.. Some kicks you gotta have for store and show but some you just have to rock them!

What sneaker got you into the sneaker game? I cannot pinpoint one thing, it is so many things. It was Music, my parents introducing me to Nike, my older cousin, basketball, the dope boys around the way, and my 3rd grade crush and her cousin who both had Aqua 8's. (LOL) I cannot just say 1 thing because they all had a significant part in it.

What are your thoughts on these fake celebrity sneakerheads? I hate them all! All of these dudes just get perks, some of them do not even know the shoes. That shit really gets under my skin. Showing off shoes that they get and not even knowing the name or numbers of the shoes, creating their own names. Shit is sickening. S/O to the Sneaker Gawd Wale !

How do you feel about the Off white collabs? I liked the first round of the collabs. With the Presto's, Air maxes, Blazers, and Jordan 1's. I think after that it should've been left alone. But I can respect what they are doing over there. I just won my first pair of Off-White's with the Lot 50 joint.

If you could wear only one sneaker for the rest of your life, what would it be? Air Jordan 3 Black Cement. Yes 6's are my favorite of all time but the Black Cement 3's just go with EVERYTHING!

What advice would you give as far as storing and preservation of your sneakers? Wear your kicks man. I store and rock! I get it, wanting to save shoes but putting them away and never rocking them, when you finally do ya it’s separating and crumbling. In order for your kicks to last they gotta be worn anyway. Unless you're truly just on some collecting only for show vibes.

What is the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of sneakers? $900... I was able to land Black and Red and Royal 1's from 2001 together. A friend of mine had them and said he couldn't think of anyone else. I had literally just started my new job. A chunk of my first check went to that pick up.

Have you ever waited in line for a pair of kicks? I waited in line once in my life for shoes and swore I would never do it again. It was for the 2001 True Blue 3's. I waited online at like 7 in the morning at Kings Plaza. LMAO I said this will never happen again. I didn't have the patience for it. I do not know how ppl used to do that shit or camp for kicks. I was there for 1 hour and I was like this is ridiculous.

You're also a photographer, how long have you been taking photos? I have been taking photos since 2011 but officially became a photographer in 2013.

How do sneakers play a role in your photography? That is a great question because I didn't want the 2 to mix at all. Because I'm a scenery and landscape photographer. But I got into photography because of sneakers. No offense to anyone but a bunch of these  "influencers" get on IG with their DSLR cameras, take some on foot shots and call themselves "Photographers". 90% of them do not even understand lighting. I didn't wanna be one of those guys because I actually live this and study it. But recently I just started letting it be that and owning it. I am nice with this photography shit when it comes to sneakers. I have a deep connection with shoes and I love incorporating that into my art. I thank my wife for that. I told her I don't wanna be just another sneaker photographer and she said to me who said you have to be ?! I took that and ran with it. Off-White just recently featured some of my pictures on their Instagram.

I remember you saying you're a sneaker enthusiast, what is the difference between that and a sneakerhead? An enthusiast really studies sneakers. Sneakerheads just love sneakers like it ain't really about the history and all that for them. They just love shoes because it is cool and makes them feel good. Us Enthusiasts are invested. Things matter like knowing years of a shoe. For example, an enthusiast would look at a pair of Jordan's like Taxi 12's, We know Michael wore those in the 1996 - 97 season, but we also know that Martin gave away a pair on his show for the Christmas episode to the kid who had holes in shoes. They are tied to iconic moments. A sneakerhead may love Bordeaux 7's because they are dope looking shoes. Where for me it's that Michael Jordan wore those in a video with Michael Jackson and Kris Kross in the 92 Jam video. MJ and MJ in a video with Kris Kross, do you know what that did to my childhood?! Give you one more example that is not even Michael Jordan related. Piggy backing off of Kris Kross,The Patrick Ewing’s were one of my favorite kicks growing up besides seeing Pat play in them one of my favorite Hip Hop covers of all time is "Totally Krossed Out" and Kris Kross is wearing both colorways. So you see what I mean there is so much tied to it with being an enthusiast. This is just my opinion though some may not agree so don't shoot me! (Ha)

From the time you started collecting up until now, would you say that the sneaker game changed for the best or the worst? I have been collecting for 20 plus years now. I have seen the game at it's best, I have seen it die, I have seen it revive, and now I am witnessing the death of it again. The sneaker game is disgusting right now, and I honestly do not think it will ever recover. It really saddens me. It is a popularity and money contest right now.

Does pricing affect your collection? Hell No! And I hate that some people are trying to make this the norm. IDGAF if you paid $500 - $2000 for a pair, It doesn't mean shit.  The narrative is getting outta hand.

What does the word “Hypebeast” mean to you? Hypebeast is a person that only buys shit for status and popularity. They cannot form their own opinion about shit. They have to wear and cop items based on what every celeb is wearing or whatever these Social Media "Influencers" are saying is hot! It is not only sneaker related either. N*ggaz were hypebeasting for PS5 last year..

What are your thoughts on the females in the sneaker game? They are the best! I wish we had a Sneaker union and it was only run by females! The men in this game are annoying and so over the top. It is so bad that they feel the need to compete with women. The men get shoes just to show off to one another. Like what type of shit is that? The females are cool. I had a dude on twitter tell me women don't know the value of a shoe let alone about the shoe. The men feel like they always gotta try to shit on the women. The women are just trying to be part of the culture and enjoy it. And they shouldn't have to try to be part of something that is open to anyone who is willing to be invested and understand the culture.

Any advice for a young kid coming up in the sneaker game? Wear what you like! Respect the game and the people who have been doing it before you. Because this new generation of sneakerheads are little entitled dicks. No respect whatsoever!! I don't care about Travis Scott shoes. Without Jordan being who he is Travis wouldn't have a Jordan silhouette to collaborate with! Same with Off-White. These silhouettes were here before these guys. Say know your history and pay homage!! BUT STAY humble.

See I follow you and I'm loving the way you include your daughter in your work, what does that mean to you? Man, it is beautiful!!!! Without even trying she is invested in the culture. Both photography and shoes. Myself and my wife are both heavy into photography, art, music, sneakers, and clothes. My daughter is into all the same things but we are letting it be her own experience. We are not forcing anything on her. We want her to enjoy being a child and whatever things she picks up from us along the way is just a bonus. But I love shooting her, and I love when she asks myself and her mother "do we like her fit". It is truly a blessing man!

All photos by CAKEDAGAWD

Follow : https://twitter.com/CakedaGawd 

https://www.instagram.com/whatsinthesyrup/

[airi-p4]

You can’t

New short fic! It’s a Juleka centric Lukanette fic with angst and fluff (?)

Summary: Juleka is not willing to accept the possibility of her brother Luka and Marinette dating, even if she wishes for her brother’s happiness.

As usual, there’s art included. This time at the end. 

Thanks to @livrever​ for the check!

Ao3

___________________________________________

“You can’t. You can’t like Marinette”

It was unusual for Juleka to be against anything related to her brother, but the words that had just left his mouth were too much to assimilate. She couldn’t agree with him no matter what.

“Why not?”

On the other hand, Luka stayed as quiet as always, gently strumming the strings of his acoustic guitar, intending to understand his sister’s reasons, but with his resolution set.

“Because she is my friend. And she is in love with Adrien. You will only be heartbroken”

“I know that”

“Then why? There are plenty of girls and boys around! Why does it have to be Marinette? It could be anyone else!”

“It can’t be anyone else. It has to be Marinette”

Juleka was mad at her brother’s answer and at how calm he still remained. Why was he doing this to her? She didn’t want her dear brother to be hurt, or her friendship with Marinette to be compromised. Why couldn’t he understand it?

“No, you can’t. You can’t do this to me. How can I support the girl’s plans to set Adrien and Marinette after knowing your feelings? How I’m supposed to encourage you when I’m aware of her feelings? How can I root for Adrienette when I know it’s going to break your heart? I’m not a good liar and I can’t be a good friend either knowing that”

“You don’t need to think of any of that. It’s my feelings. I’ll take care of them”

“How can you say that? You’re my brother and I love you. You’ve been always by my side, helping me, encouraging me… I want to do the same with you, but I can’t. Not as long as it’s Marinette”

“You don’t need to do anything, Jules. I’ll manage whatever comes. I’ll be happy if Marinette is happy with Adrien or anyone else”

Juleka could only get even angrier at her brother’s almost unnoticeable soft smile.

“But what about your happiness, Luka? I want you to be happy! I don’t think you can be fully happy with this”

“I’ll be happy if she is happy. I mean it”

“You should go after someone else. Someone who is not Marinette. I would be able to encourage you then. But now…”

“It can only be Marinette”

She tried to understand him, but his answers only made it even more difficult for her to accept it.

“But why!?”

“For the same reason you think it can only be Rose for you”

“It’s not the same!”

“It is. We can’t control what we feel. And I can’t control my love for Marinette. I’m not expecting her to reciprocate my feelings. I’ll feel full as long as she keeps smiling happily. Don’t you feel the same about Rose?”

“No…”

“Rose keeps talking about how cool Prince Ali is but you are still happy just being by her side. Isn’t it enough?”

“No, it’s not. I can’t help it but be jealous… I can’t say I’m truly happy…”

“Yet you keep smiling when she’s by your side. To the point you can overlook her crush on Prince Ali”

Juleka knew he was right. But she didn’t want to accept this reality. Not her brother’s, at least.

“We are talking about you, not me. I wish you hadn’t tell me… I hate this feeling”

“You are free to hate me, if you feel this way. But that won’t change my feelings… it doesn’t work like that. I’m sorry for compromising your friendship with Marinette”

“I can’t hate you. But I can’t support you either. I’m sorry...”

“It’s OK. Thank you for trying”

Juleka set the separation between Luka’s and her part of the room in order to avoid seeing and talking to him any further. She was going to fall asleep while giving the whole conversation a thought, yes, but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to accept it no matter how much time she spent thinking about it.

_____________

“Girls… I’ve decided to stop pursuing Adrien”

Marinette’s words stabbed Juleka’s heart as sharply as a knife.

“Why?” She asked.

“I don’t think I have feelings for him anymore”

Marinette sounded convinced. But Juleka couldn’t help it to think it was because of her attitude towards her after knowing his brother’s feelings. Her thoughts left her mouth without thinking.

“Is it because I failed my part to support you?”

“No Juleka, that’s not it” Marinette seemed surprised, but sure about her resolve.

“Then what is it?” Juleka insisted. She really didn’t want to be the reason of Marinette’s unhappiness.

“It’s… it’s Luka. I’m sorry Juleka I was meant to tell you sooner but…”

The blush on Marinette cheeks as she talked about her brother triggered something inside her. Something that was surely giving her not pleasant vibrations.

“What are you talking about?” she asked her friend, while the rest of the girls just listened to them in silence, surprised of both of their friend’s extremely rare argument. There was a vivid honest flame in Marinette’s eyes as she spoke, convinced of what she was saying.

“I love him. I have for a while. I can’t deny my feelings for him anymore”

Marinette’s confession left all her friends astonished, including Juleka. But unlike the rest of them, who were already celebrating Marinette’s new love, the purple-haired girl wasn’t happy about her words and remained silent. Rose was the first to speak to her.

“Isn’t it good, Juleka?” the blond cute girl said, giggling happily.

“Yes! Good choice!” encouraged Alya and Alix.

But Juleka’s words, said almost in a silent voice at first, and louder one second time, broke all the fun.

“You can’t”

“What?” all the girls reacted in unison.

“You can’t. You can’t love him” Stated Juleka, replying to their question.

“Why not?” asked Rose, Alya insisting too.

“Yeah, why not, girl?”

Before answering, Juleka stood up and looked at Marinette, eyes fiercely consumed with an anger, sadness and frustration she couldn’t control, pointing a finger directly to Marinette as her words darted directly to her.

“Because I know you’ll leave him at some point. And I don’t want you to break his fragile heart”

“Luka is not fragile” Marinette said, confidently, only fueling more Juleka’s negative thoughts and anger.

“He is. More than he appears to be. Our dad… well… he left him scars in his heart that cannot be healed”

Juleka was at the verge of crying remembering her past. She didn’t want Luka to suffer ever again. And that included not letting Marinette break his heart. Juleka knew none of her friends could understand her at the moment, given the disgusted looks there were on their faces, but protecting his dear brother’s heart was something more important than any friendship for her. She couldn’t let it happen. And she wouldn’t. No matter how Alya, Rose or anyone tried to convince her.

“But Juleka, what about their feelings?”

“Rose is right, Juleka, Luka has already-”

Alya couldn’t finish when Juleka’s anger scream came out of her mouth, stamping her foot on the floor as she started taking her leave from Rose’s house.

“I said NO, are we clear!? You can't!”

“Juleka, wait!” of course, Rose tried to stop her. She had a frightened look in her face Juleka had never seen before. Just like Rose hadn’t ever seen Juleka angry before. Juleka hated it. She hated getting angry at her friends, she hated their disappointed and scared faces, she hated the idea of Marinette and Luka together and, what she hated the most was herself for not being able to manage any of her feelings.

“Juleka… I’m sorry you feel like this, but I can’t stop my feelings and I’m going to confess, even if you are against it”

Marinette never sounded this convinced when she was crushing on Adrien, so Juleka knew there was nothing she could do stop her. But that wasn’t enough. She couldn’t let go of her brother. Not to an indecisive girl like Marinette. Juleka noticed the source of her unusual confidence and stated it loudly.

“You know his feelings for you”

Marinette wasn’t surprised, in fact, she was only a little embarrassed at the fact Juleka was the sister of the boy she was in love with. She wanted to get along well with her if she and Luka were going to date. She needed her on her side if she wanted Luka be happy. She knew it was not worth it to date Luka if it ended up with their family’s good relationship falling apart. She tried to answer in full understanding, almost begging to Juleka to accept their relationship.

“I do. And I feel the same way about him. Please, I want to make you understand...”

But Juleka couldn’t take it anymore. There was a conflict of interests inside her that almost made her head explode in stress. Of course she wanted Luka to be happy. Of course she wanted Marinette to be happy too. But still couldn’t accept this form of happiness between them. She couldn’t, even if she wished she could. The pain in her heart and head only made her anger increase. She needed to be alone. To calm down. To think. Or to forget maybe. But she needed Marinette out of her vision as soon as possible, and far from her brother too.

“You can’t. Don’t you dare get close to him!”

Juleka’s scream sounded desperate to Marinette’s ears when she started running out of Rose’s house, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Juleka!! Wait! Juleka...”

Marinette tried to stop her, of course she did. But Juleka didn’t even lock gazes with her, nor look back. Strangely enough, there was no signs of regret inside her. But there was sadness and hurt coming from her friend’s denial to accept her in her family as her brother’s girlfriend.

____________

“Juleka, your brother and Marinette have started dating. Let’s go give them our blessings”

Anarka sounded genuinely happy for his son as she spoke to her sister about his first love and now girlfriend. But Juleka could only frown in anger and frustration at the sight of them happily together.

“I can’t. And you can’t either, mom” she said, looking at her feet in a mix of sadness and anger.

“Why not? They look so in love with each other… You should be happy for them!”

Captain Anarka was known for her energy, optimism and love and encouraging towards her children, so Juleka was not surprised with her answer. She knew her mother was not good at taking things seriously either, so she wasn’t optimistic about getting any backing from her to go against Luka and Marinette’s relationship. But Juleka was not happy. And she was willing to let everyone know.

“Well, I’m not. I’m not happy” she answered.

“Why not?”

Obligatory question from her mother, as expected. But she was ready to finally speak her feelings bottled inside her for days, ever since Luka confessed her he had romantic feelings for her friend. Her answer had been repeating inside her head at all times, daily, for more than a week, so she knew every single coma of it.

“I can’t because I’ve spent 2 years helping Marinette to get closer to Adrien, without being aware of Luka's feelings, hurting him without knowing it. And now, when Adrien starts dating Kagami, she just comes to Luka claiming she loves him? Were those 2 years a lie? What the hell have I been doing all this time? Going against my brother interests and helping his girlfriend get closer to another boy? How can I be called a good sister?”

“Oh, Juleka…” Anarka was sympathetic at her daughter.

“And Marinette… What does Luka even mean to her? Is he her plan B for when things with Adrien doesn’t work out? Is he just some kind of excuse not to be alone? Is she just desperate for love? Anyone’s love. Why does it have to be Luka? It could have been anyone else! She’ll only leave him heartbroken at some point… and I hate that! I don’t want to see Luka hurt. Never again”

Just like all the negative feelings and frustrated bottled up, she broke and left rivers of tears out of her big eyes. Days of contained emotions spilling out of her. Frustration, anger, sadness and fear, all together in form of salty water finally finding a way out after reaching its maximum capacity of stress. She was trembling as she cried hard, like a baby. It had been years since she cried that much, feeling like a part of herself was leaving her soul along her until recently contained waterfalls. She was embarrassing herself in front of her mother, and she hated it. She hated not being able to cope with her own emotions. For not being stronger. For being selfish… The stress was too much for her and she broke to a level she could never imagine. Seeing Juleka so broken was hurting even a tough heart like Anarka’s. Of course, she had a soft spot for her daughter, but it still was unusual for her.

“Oh, Juleka… That’s not how love work, sweetheart. You can’t choose love. It comes striking you like a tsunami, like a gale of emotions inside your heart, making you unable to keep your feet on the ground. How is anyone supposed to control that at age 14? It’s impossible. Mistakes are bound to happen. Misunderstandings too. Just take a look at them and you’ll see the love in their eyes"

"I can't" her sobbing continued, despite her efforts to stop it. Anarka hugged her daughter tightly as she spoke.

"Look, Marinette did a mistake choosing the wrong boy at first, yes. But now that she is older she is aware of her needs and true feelings. She is dating Luka because that’s what she feels. What both of them feel. Wouldn’t you be the happiest if Rose stopped talking about Prince Ali and focused only in you?”

“I… I guess so, but…” Juleka managed to say between sobbing hiccups.

"Would you think you're Rose's plan B if she did?" he mother asked.

"I don't know… maybe…"

The more she listened to her mother, the voice of wisdom of her life, along with her brother’s the more confused she became. She had been aware of her wrong way of thinking. She still was aware of how pointless it was. But still couldn’t eat her pride and accept them… But she thought her mother’s words are worth listening, as she is the voice of experience.

“I don't think you would. Because Rose already loves you very much and you are the one who has been the closest to her. She just isn't aware of her feelings yet. Just like Marinette in the past"

"..."

Juleka couldn’t speak. She wanted to believe her mother’s words so bad, she somehow stopped crying, still thinking about Luka and Marinette’s relationship. She knew she had to accept it… She knew she had. But it was too much weight on her shoulders. Too much pride to throw away. Too much negative feelings attached in form of remorse.

“C'mon, dear. Just accept their feelings and give them your blessings. That will be more than enough”

“But I can’t, mom. I’m a bad sister. And a bad friend. I couldn’t help either of them when they needed me…”

Anarka smiled at her daughter’s apologetic face, wiping the traces of the tears that remained on her face with a handkerchief Juleka ended up taking to blow her nose.

“You can do it, sweetheart. Ladybug would say it’s never too late to repair your mistakes. Your apology will be enough for them. They’ll welcome you. I’m sure of it”

“Thank you, mom… I’ll try…”

Juleka’s eyes recovered her hope for the first time in days and Anarka was relieved and happy to see how fond she was for her brother.

“My baby, you just love your brother so much, don’t you? Don’t worry, even if Luka has a girlfriend now, he won’t ever stop loving you. You’re his sister. He’ll always be there for you”

Anarka’s words shocked Jueleka. Of course she cared deeply for her brother. Very deeply. He had been her big brother forever, her father figure even. He had been her best friend, her saviour, her first love, too… He had been her everything. Even when she was starting to become a weight for him or when she was in the way for him to make friends his age… He never complained or left her side. She had been able to tell just in time she was in the way and had stopped clinged to him. But not even then Luka left her side. He let her act freely, but never hesitated to ask her about her feelings. Their sibling love was a treasure for Juleka, and maybe, just maybe, this was the reason she couldn’t accept Marinette taking part of her place… But Anarka was right. A sibling bond is unbreakable. And Luka was going to be there for her no matter what. It was her time to give him the freedom he couldn’t have because of her… Yes… it was time to swallow all the tears, are the pain, all the pride and jealousy and give the new couple her blessings. But there’s still a part of her pride that couldn’t let her agree with her mother’s words.

“That’s ridiculous… You make it sound like have a brother complex...” Juleka pouted, cursing how her enemy’s favourite word left out of her own mouth. Anarka could only giggle and kiss her precious daughter’s forehead.

“Of course, my child, of course…”

With Anarka’s arm around Juleka, hands over her shoulders, mother and daughter approached the new couple, who were teasing each other with little hand and cheek kisses, blushing and smiling. They certainly looked the happiest Juleka had ever seen either of them and she felt awful for trying to stop this happiness to bloom. Shyly, she called their names to catch their attention.

“Luka... Marinette...”

“Juleka” Both of them turned to face her, Luka’s arm around Marinette in a protective manner, but still smiling softly.

Their smiling faces made Juleka feel even more apologetic as she asked for their forgiveness in a shy and simple, but more than enough words.

“I'm sorry I was wrong. You can”

Marinette and Luka exchanged looks and their faces shined bright of happiness. Both of them jumped to hug Juleka in the most affectionate hug her brother or her friend had ever given to her, making her tear up again. She could feel loved and not even a slight of resentment against her. Changes weren’t always meant to be bad. Juleka understood, as she could feel how Marinette’s affection resembled the one from how she imagined a sister would feel like. Changes can be a happy thing too. And she couldn’t feel even more stupid for restraining this new feeling even from her own self.

But no more. She could and they could. All of them could find happiness in their new formed bond. Juleka had two sincere words she still wanted to say, even if they were already implied in how tightly she hugged the couple back. But she still wanted to say it. And she did.

“Thank you”

FIN

[lucyreviewcy]

The Three Three Musketeers (or Where The F*ck Did All The Stupid Hats Go)

I read The Three Musketeers and then I watched the 1973, 1993 and 2011 adaptations. Which one wins tho?

Adaptation is a fascinating concept, especially of texts which are frequently adapted or parodied. After I rewatched the 2005 Pride and Prejudice I was reminded how weirdly divisive the two dominant adaptations of that book are. A lot of people consider the 2005 to be an inferior betrayal of the 1990s BBC version. I actually prefer the 2005 because I think Matthew McFadyen’s Mr Darcy is a wonderfully complex character. McFadyen imbues Darcy with social awkwardness and anxiety, which Lizzie misinterprets as his pride. To overcome the “Lizzie doesn’t fancy him ‘til she sees his house” debate, director Joe Wright includes a moment where Lizzie glimpses Darcy alone with his sister. He’s comfortable, his body language is completely different, and he’s smiling broadly. That moment really sold me on the entire film because it made Darcy a full character and was a really simple addition that rounded out the story. I still like the 90s version but for me, it’s the 2005 that takes first place.  (Although an honourable mention for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because it is an excellent romp.)

Look: adaptation is always a complicated topic. You can’t untangle one adaptation from another, because it’s pretty rare that somebody adapting a classic text like Pride and Prejudice or The Three Musketeers is not already familiar with existing adaptations. The most recent adaptation of any classic text is not simply an adaptation of that text, but the next step in a flow chart that includes all the previous adaptations and the cultural context of the newly created product. These three adaptations of Dumas’ 1844 novel are all texturally and stylistically very different, and two of them diverge significantly from the original text. What I found truly fascinating was what all of them had in common, and what each new era (these were made at around 20 year intervals) decides to add or remove. What do all these movies agree are the essential parts of the story, and what are some adaptations more squeamish about including from Dumas’ original narrative?

Before we dive in, no I have not seen every single adaptation of the story, that would be a dissertation level of research and I do actually have things to do right now (although, I will admit...not many.) I’m looking at these three Hollywood adaptations because they all had star studded casts (for the era they were made in), they’re all English language, and (crucially) they were all easily available on the internet for me to stream.

What are the essential ingredients of a Three Musketeers adaptation?

Firstly, there should be at least three musketeers. Secondly, D’Artagnan (Michael York 1973, Chris O’Donnell 1993, Logan Lerman 2011) should be a young upstart who is introduced part way through a sword fight. He should also have silly hair. He is also consistently introduced to the musketeers in all three films by challenging them each individually to duels at noon, one o’clock and two o’clock. 

The films all maintained some elements of the original “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, and featured the Queen, Milady and Constance. The characterisation of these three varied a lot.

Our villains in each case are invariably the Cardinal, his pal Rochefort (who always has an eyepatch, although this trope is not in the book and is actually attributable to the way Christopher Lee is styled in the 1973 film), and Milady de Winter. Satisfyingly, at least two of the villains usually wear red because they’re bad. Red is for bad. 

All three are very swashbuckling in tone, have elements of physical comedy, and two of them include one of the three valet characters Dumas wrote into the original story, Planchet (1973 Roy Kinnear, 2011 James “ugh why” Corden). They also all bear the generic markings of the movies made during the same era, our 70s D’Artagnan feels like a prototype Luke Skywalker. The 90s version features a random martial arts performer. The 2011 version has CGI and James Corden in equal measure (read: far too much of both.)

What are the big differences?

I’m going to divide this category into three main segments: character, story and style. My own three musketeers, the three musketeers of movie making.

Character

D’Artagnan

D’artagnan in the book comes across as a pretty comical figure. He’s nineteen and there’s something satisfying about how similar Dumas’ caricature of a nineteen year old is to a modern character of the same age. He’s overconfident, has a simplistic but concrete set of morals, and falls in love with every woman he sees. If D’Artagnan were a 2021 character, he’d really hate The Last Jedi, is what I’m saying. He’d definitely have a tumblr blog, probably a lot like this one, but perhaps a scooch more earnest. He really loved The Lighthouse but he can’t explain why. Isn’t it nice to know that awkward nineteen year olds have been pretty much the same for the last three hundred years at least? 

In all three films he’s kind of irritating, but at least in the 1973 this feels deliberate. This version has a certain “Carry On Musketeering” quality to it and D’Artagnan is your pantomime principal, he’s extremely naïve and he takes himself very seriously. This is the closest D’Artagnan to the book, and the 1973 is, in general, the film which adheres most faithfully to that source material. 

The 1993, which is (spoiler alert) my least favourite adaptation, has Chris O’Donnell as the least likeable D’Artagnan I’ve come across. I’ve only seen O’Donnell in one other thing, the Al Pacino movie Scent of a Woman. He’s bearable in that because he’s opposite Al Pacino, and so his wide-eyed innocence makes sense as a contrast to Pacino’s aged hoo-ah cynicism. Rather than being introduced in a practice sword fight with his father, as in the other two films, D’Artagnan is fighting the brother of an ex-lover. This captures the problem with the film in general: this adaptation wants D’Artagnan to be cool. He is not. The comedy of the 1973, and indeed the book, comes from D’Artagnan being deeply uncool, and from his blind idolisation of the deeply flawed Musketeers who actually are cool, but not necessarily heroic, or even good people. Their moral greyness contrasts with D’Artagnan’s defined sense of right and wrong, but he still considers them to be role models and heroes. 

2011′s version also suffers from “Cool D’Artagnan” syndrome, with the added annoyance of that most Marvel of tropes: the quip. One of the real issues with this film is that the dialogue has a lot of forced quippery that doesn’t quite land, and the editing slows the pace of the entire film. D’Artagnan’s first interaction with Constance is a bad attempt at wit which Constance points out isn’t very funny. The problem is that Constance has no personality so there’s no real indication that she’s in any position to judge his level of wit. She’s just vague, blonde and there: three characteristics which describe an entire pantheon of badly written female characters throughout the ages. Cool D’Artagnan also means that Constance should be additionally cool, because in the book, Constance is older than, smarter than and over-all more in charge than D’Artagnan. 

Female Characters

Let’s go into this with an open mind that understands all these films were made in the sociological context of their decade. The 1973 version would absolutely not be made in the same way now. Constance is a clumsy cartoon character who is forever falling over and accidentally sticking her breasts out. This is not the character from the books, but does at least leave an impression on the viewer one way or another. 

In contrast, the 1993 has a Constance so forgettable I literally cannot picture her. I think she holds D’Artagnan’s hand at the end. That’s all I can say on the subject. 

The 2011 has Gabriella Wilde in the role, and absolutely wastes her. Anyone who’s seen her in  Poldark knows that she can do sharp-tongued beautiful wit-princess with ease. It’s the writing of this film that lets her down, in general, that’s the problem with it. The storyline and design are great, but the actual dialogue lacks the pace and bite that a quip-ridden star vehicle needs. This Constance is given simultaneously more and less to do than the Constance of the original book, who demonstrates at every turn the superiority of her intellect over D’Artagnan, but doesn’t get to pretend to be a Musketeer and whip her hat off to show her flowing golden hair like she does in the 2011. 

The best character, for my money, in The Three Musketeers is Milady de Winter. Even Dumas got so obsessed with her that there are full chapters of the book written from pretty much her perspective. In the book, she’s described as a terrifying genius with powers of persuasion so potent that any jailor she speaks to must be instantly replaced. My favourite Milady is absolutely Faye Dunaway from 1973. She’s ferocious and beautiful and ruthless, but potentially looks even better because the portrayals in the other films are so very bad. 

The 1993 version has your typical blonde 90s baddie woman (Rebecca De Mornay), she wouldn’t look out of place as a scary girlfriend in an episode of Friends or Frasier. 2011 boasts Milla Jovovich who presents us a much more physical version of the character, even doing an awkwardly shoe-horned anachronistic hall of lasers a la Entrapment except instead of lasers its really thin pieces of glass? The “yeah but it looks cool” attitude to anachronism in this film is what makes it fun, and Jovovich’s Milady isn’t awful, she’s just let down by a plot point that she shares with 1993 Milady. Both these adaptations get really hooked on the fact that Athos used to be married to Milady at one time (conveniently leaving out the less justifiable character point that Athos TRIED TO HANG HER when he found out she had been branded as a thief - doesn’t wash so well with the modern audiences, I think.) Rather than hating/fearing Milady, the two modern adaptations suggest that Athos is still in love with her and pines for her. This detracts from Athos’ character just as much as it detracts from Milady’s. Interestingly, and I don’t know where this came from (if it was in the book I definitely missed it), both films feature a confrontation between the two where Athos points a gun at Milady but she pre-empts him by throwing herself off a cliff (or in the 2011, an air-ship.) I think both these versions were concerned that Milady was an anti-feminist character because she’s so wantonly evil, but I disagree. Equality means it is absolutely possible for Milady to be thoroughly evil and hated by the musketeers just as much as they hate Rochefort and the Cardinal. If you want to sort out the gender issues with this story, round Constance out and give her proper dialogue, don’t make Milady go weak at the knees because of whiny Athos (both Athos characters are exceedingly whiny, 1973 Athos is just...mashed).

The Musketeers

These guys are pretty important to get right in a film called The Three Musketeers. They have to be flawed, funny but kind of cool. Richard Chamberlain is an absolute dish in the 1973 version, capturing all those qualities in one. Is it clear which version is my favourite yet?

Athos is played variously by a totally hammered Oliver Reed (1973), a ginger-bearded Kiefer Sutherland (1993) and a badly bewigged Matthew McFadyen (2011). They all have in common the role of being the most level-headed character, but the focus on the relationship between Athos and Milady in the 93 and 11 editions undermines this a lot. Athos should be cool and aloof, instead of mooning over Milady the entire time. The 2011 gives Athos some painfully “edgy” lines like “I believe in this (points at wine) this (flicks coin) and this (stabs coin with knife.)...” which McFadyen ( once oh so perfect as Mr Darcy) doesn’t quite pull off. 

Porthos seems to be the musketeer who is the most different between interpretations. A foppish dandy in the 1973, a pirate (!?!) in the 1993, and then just...large in 2011. I think the mistake made in the 2011 is that large alone does not a personality make. There are hints at Porthos’ characterisation from the book: his dependence on rich women for money and his love of fine clothing, but these are only included as part of his introduction and never crop up again through the rest of the film. Pirate Porthos in 1993 is... you know what, fine, you guys were clearly throwing everything at the wall and seeing what stuck. 

Aramis is our dishy Richard Chamberlain in 1973, followed by womanising Charlie Sheen in 1993 and then strikingly suave Luke Evans in 2011. I actually didn’t mind Luke Evans’ interpretation, his dialogue is forgettable but his sleek charm stuck in my head. For some reason, this version has Aramis working as a parking attendant for horses, it worked for me as a fun A Knight’s Tale-esque bit of anachronistic character development. Charlie Sheen has never managed to appear likable or attractive to me and so his role in the 1993 falls flat. In fact, in that edition there’s not much distinction between the musketeers as characters and they’re all just very 90s and American. As anyone who’s read this blog before will expect, I think Keanu Reeves as Aramis would have really upped this film’s game. In fact, Keanu Reeves as Aramis, Brad Pitt as Athos and Will Smith as Porthos could have been the ultimate 90s adaptation, throw in DiCaprio as D’Artagnan and Roger Allam as the Cardinal and I’m fully sold. 

The King and Queen

All three films try and do the “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, but only the 1973 actually includes the Queen’s affair with Buckingham. The queen, played by Geraldine Chaplin, is a tragic romantic figure (she doesn’t have a tonne to do besides being wistful and sighing over Lord Buckingham). The king is played as a frivolous idiot by Jean-Pierre Cassel (voice dubbed by Richard Briers). He doesn’t really think of the queen as a person, more as a possession that he doesn’t want Buckingham to have. 

In the 1993 version, Buckingham doesn’t really feature, and it’s the queen’s refusal to get off with the Cardinal that prompts his fury at her. The book does touch on the Cardinal’s desire for the queen, but it’s placed front and centre in 1993. This is definitely the boobsiest version, with quite a lot of corsetry on show and a cardinal who hits on literally all the women. The king is shown as a stroppy teenage boy under the thumb of the cardinal, who just wants to ask the queen to the dance but doesn’t have the nerve. The king is, essentially, a Fall Out Boy lyric. 

The 2011 also seems to be really squeamish about the idea of the queen having an extramarital affair. It paints Buckingham (played with excellent wig and aplomb by Orlando Bloom) as a stylish villain, who’s advances the queen has rejected. Like the 1993 version, the King is a feckless youth rendered speechless by the presence of his wife. Both these versions want the King and Queen to be happy together, while the 1973 doesn’t give a fuck. 

The Cardinal and his Cronies

The cardinal is kind of universally an evil creepy guy. One of the characters from the 1973 version who actually left the least impression on me, played by Charlton Heston. I think he’s overshadowed in my recollection by cartoonishly evil Christopher Lee as Rochefort. Lee’s Rochefort is dark, mysterious and wonderfully bad, and so influential that all other incarnations’ design is based on him. The 1993 version had truly over the top Michael Wincott as a character I could honestly refer to as Darth Rochefort from the way he’s framed, while 2011 boasts a chronically underused Mads Mikkelsen in the role. 

Cardinal-wise, 1993 was my favourite with Tim Curry in all his ecclesiastical splendour. It was disappointing that everything about this film, including the Cardinal’s sexual harassment of every single female character, really didn’t work for me. Tim Curry is a natural choice for this role and gives it his campy all. 

2011 has not one but two trendy bond villain actors, with Mikkelsen working alongside Christoph Waltz who was...just kind of fine. I was really excited when he appeared but he didn’t really push the character far enough and left me cold. 

Story

The story is where the different adaptations diverge most completely. 1973 follows the plot of the novel, D’Artagnan comes to Paris, befriends the Musketeers and becomes embroiled in a plot by the Cardinal to expose the Queen’s affair with Buckingham through the theft of two diamond studs. D’Artagnan, aided partially by the musketeers, must travel to London to retrieve the set of twelve studs gifted by the King to the Queen, and by the Queen to Buckingham. He does so, the plot is foiled, he’s made into a musketeer! Hurrah, tankards all round.

The 1993 version drops D’Artagnan into the story just as the Cardinal has disbanded the Musketeers. I found the plot of this one really hard to follow and I think at some point D’Artagnan ended up in the Bastille? There was this whole plot point about how Rochefort had killed D’Artagnan’s father. In the original, and in the 1973 version, D’Artagnan’s entire beef with Rochefort is rooted in a joke Rochefort makes about D’Artagnan’s horse. I guess for the producers of this one, a horse insult is not enough motivation for a lifelong grudge. That is really the problem with the entire film, it forgets that the story as told by Dumas is set in a world where men duel over such petty things as “criticising one’s horse”, “blocking one’s journey down a staircase” and “accusing one of having dropped a lady’s handkerchief.” The colour palette and styling are very 90s “fun fun fun”, but the portrayal of the cardinal and the endless angst about D’Artagnan’s father really dampen the mood. 

The 2011 version, this is where the shit really hits the fan. We meet our musketeers as they collaborate with Milady to steal the blueprints for a flying ship (it’s like a piratecore zeppelin). Milady betrays them and gives the plans to Buckingham, they all become jaded and unemployed. D’Artagnan arrives on the scene (his American accent explained by the fact that he’s from a different part of France) and befriends the Musketeers. The cardinal tries to frame the queen for infidelity by having Milady steal her diamonds to hide them in Buckingham’s safe at the tower of London. Something something Constance, something something help me D’Artagnan you’re my only hope. MASSIVE AIRSHIP BATTLE. The king and queen have a dance. James Corden cracks wise. 

It seems like as time has passed, producers, writers and directors have felt compelled to embellish the story. I think, specifically in the case of the two later versions, this is because they wanted the films to resemble the big successes of the period. Everybody knows no Disney hero can be in possession of both parents, so D’Artagnan is out to avenge his father like Simba or Luke Skywalker. In the 2011 version, the plot is overblown and overcomplicated in what seems like an attempt to replicate the success of both the Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises. Remember the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End? No, me neither. 

Style

The style of these films grows increasingly wild along with the plots as time passes. The 1973 features a lot of slapstick comedy, some of which really made me cackle, and some of which was cringeworthily sexist (Constance’s boobs through the window of a litter.) That’s the 70s though! I love The Godfather but Diane Keaton’s character is unbelivably dull and annoying. Star Wars features a pretty good female character but she does end up in that bikini. The 70s seems to be a time of movies that were great except for their occasional headlong dive into misogyny. That doesn’t mean the entire movie is bad, it just means it’s suffering from the consequences of being made in the 70s. There were other consequences of this, I doubt many modern productions could get away with physically injuring so many of it’s cast members. From a glance down the IMDB trivia page, this film yielded a higher casualties to cast ratio than the My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words music video, and that’s a hard figure to top. 

The 1993 version is a Disney feature and suffers from having a thin sheen (not Charlie in this instance) of “Disney Original Movie” pasted over every scene. It looks like The Parent Trap might be filming in the adjacent studio a lot of the time. The vibrancy of the colours makes the costumes look unrealistic, while the blandness of the female characters means this movie ends up a bit of a bland bro-fest. Also occasionally the sexual and violent moments really jar with the overall tone making it an uneven watch. One minute it’s Charlie Sheen cracking jokes about trying to get off with someone’s wife, the next minute you see Milady throw herself off a cliff and land on the rocks. Weird choices all round. 

The 2011 version, as I’ve already mentioned, was trying to borrow its style from the success of Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean, with a little Ocean’s 11 thrown in. The soundtrack flips between not quite a Hans Zimmer score and not quite that other Hans Zimmer score, and after the success of Stardust it ends with a Take That song (for it to match up to the story it should have been Take That feat. Harry styles imho). Visually, there’s some fantastic travel by mapping going on, there’s far too much CGI (one of my friends pointed out that the canal in Venice seemed to be full of Flubber). Everyone is dressed in black leather, and there are not enough big hats at all. One of the best things about Musketeers films is that they’re an excuse for ridiculous hats, and in a film with a quite frankly insane visual style, I’m surprised the hats didn’t make it through. The cast, unfortunately, really lack chemistry which means the humorous dialogue is either stilted or James Corden, and the editing is just very strange. It’s one of those films that feels about as disjointed as an early morning dream, the one where you dream you’ve woken up, gotten dressed and fed the cat, but you actually are still in bed. 

Conclusion

Adaptations focus on different things depending on the context they were created in. The 2005 Pride and Prejudice is deliberately “grittier” than its 1990s predecessor, at a stage when “grit” was everywhere (The Bourne Identity, Spooks, Constantine). The Musketeers adaptations demonstrate exactly the same thing: what people wanted in the 70s was bawdy comedy and slapstick with a likeable idiot hero, the 90s clearly called for... Charlie Sheen and bright colours, and the 2010s just want too much of everything and a soundtrack with lots of banging and crashing. The more modern adaptations simplified the female characters (although the 1973 version definitely is guilty of oversimplifying Constance) while over-complicating the plot. There’s a lot of embellishment going on in the 2011 version that suggests the film wasn’t very sure of itself, it pulls its plot punches while simultaneously blindly flailing its stylistic fists. 

The film that works the best for me will always be the 1973 because it’s pretty straight down the line. Musketeers are good, Milady is evil, falling over is funny and the King’s an idiot. The later adaptations seem to be trying to fix problems with the story that the 1973 version just lets fly. The overcorrection of Milady and the under characterisation of Constance is the perfect example of this. If you want your Musketeers adaptation to be more feminist, don’t weaken Milady, strengthen Constance. Sometimes a competent female character is all that we need. A Constance who is like Florence Cassel from Death in Paradise or  Ahn Young-yi from Misaeng could really pack a punch.

I adored the energy of the 2011 adaptation, I loved how madcap it was, I loved how it threw historical accuracy to the wind. I thought the king was adorable, and I really enjoyed seeing Orlando Bloom hamming it up as Buckingham. I was genuinely sad that the sequel the ending sets up for never came, because once they got out of the sticky dialogue and into the explosions, the film was great fun. It was a beautiful disaster that never quite came together, but I really enjoyed watching it. I love films that have a sense of wild chaos, some more successful examples are The Devil’s Advocate, Blow Dry and Lego Batman. I think the spirit of going all out on everything can sometimes result in the best cinematic experience, it’s just a shame the script wasn’t really up to muster for 2011 Musketeers. 

I’m excited to see what the next big budget Musketeers adaptation brings, even if I’m going to have to wait another ten years to see it. I hope it’s directed by Chad Stahelski, that’d really float my boat (through the sky, like a zeppelin.)

[dannydouni]

I got tagged by @faceless-dude for smth. And like. All I want to say is that you so much. Cuz I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and I didn’t know when would be a good time to post it. Or like update it or like just when I should do anything with it. So yeah. Thank you so much for helping me get the chance to post this :)))

“I’ve had this in my drafts for some time now probably since the Canadian thanksgiving and like only touched on it a few times, and well I never got to post it cuz I got well uuuhhh... shy I guess and at that time a lot of things were going down and stuff. And because of that I just felt like it had no meaning whatsoever anymore. So I thought I’d edit it a bit so it fits better and so I can finally post it and stuff.... sometimes it’s nice to get something out there after having it written down for so long. And well what better time to post it than now XD on New Years!. Anyways here it goes”

Hey guys, friends especially, ITS A NEW YEAR!!!!!! I just wanted to pop in and say that...well...thank you. And while I don’t really mean this directly to anyone so far (details for ppl that I know on this app will be written later on in this post). I know it’s usually super cheesy and just cringe and stuff but I honestly couldn’t care less about that stuff when it comes to the people close to me and to the people I love and care about. So I would like to take this opportunity to thank y’all. First and foremost. What the actual fuck guys. Why lmao. Out of everyone in this world you bunch picked the weirdest, ugliest and just straight up stupidest dude out there to be friends with XD, y’all do know there was much better than this out there right XD. I legit have no competition since I’m just so bad LOL. But still, for some reason, with all the shit I just listed y’all still decided it was a good idea to be friends with me. Y’all still decided it would be a great idea to stick with me up until now. Y’all still decided that I could belong with other people that I could fit it with you guys. That I could.... have genuine, real and just straight up amazing friends. I have absolutely no fucking clue how this turn of events happened. But I can say this with full certainty. You guys have changed my life. You guys are probably the main reason I’m still kicking around to this day lol. You guys are the reason I keep going and keep living and just keep enjoying the tiny gifts that life has to offer sometimes instead of pain XD. I still don’t and probably will never understand why or how god or life decided to be nice to me the few times I met one of you but I’m honestly so eternally grateful that I just... I have no words almost.... I just don’t know what to say sometimes. It’s honestly so out of this world how amazing and nice some of you are even tho I’m like the complete trash of this world XD. In all honesty.... without you guys I’d probably not even be here lmao... I’d probably would’ve just went on with my life with nothing to wish or hope for other than for the next day to pass even quicker than the last.... or just for days to just over as soon as they start... I won’t say more cuz that’s shit is personal and I’m not about to write that in public 😎. But like I know for sure that without you guys. I would not be here right now. So thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the memories you’ve given me, the countless nights you’ve made me die of laughter, The countless times you’ve made me choke and almost die from how funny something would be, the countless times you’ve made me think “damn I don’t ever want to wake up from this dream if this is not real”. Just thank you, for talking to me, for letting me vent, for letting me be there for you when you were there for me, for being my rock to lean on, for helping me go through the toughest of times like if it was a normal day. Thank you guys so much for treating me like an equal, for being friends with me, for playing with me, for inspiring me, for teaching me new things and helping me with anything I could ever ask for. Thank you guys so much, and while words will never be able to fully explain what I fully mean or what I fully feel. But I hope that this at least will give you an idea of how greatfull I am for you guys... i hope this will show you how thankful I am for you guys. I love you guys so much that the word love just can’t even express how much you guys truly mean to me. You guys have changed my life for the better and even tho I will probably never be able to repay that I’m hoping that I can do something to at least return how much y’all have done for me. And even tho a lot of the people I mean by this message are not on Tumblr I have a few that are and it is for that reason that I will thank you and write something for you guys here too. So here is the part for the specific people.

@frogb, Genny :)

Genny :D

GENNYYYYY >:D

Good God..... how are you even real XD well to start off, a quick intro :).... probably my only irl friend that is actually active on this app and of course MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER IN THE WORLD AND THE #1 PERSON IN MY LIFE >:), I want to take this opportunity to just thank you again (I know I’ve said a a bunch of times and you probably hate me for saying it a lot XD, that along with sorry :(((( I can’t really control that Lmao but I’m getting better at it right :D). You....you’re my best friend :)... you have changed my life for the better way too many times cuz. I’ve honestly lost count dude. I’ve lost count. I just want you to know that even tho I said that the first thing I wrote on this post was meant for a bunch of people. I was really mainly thinking about you when I wrote it. Ever since you’ve been part of my life. You have made sure to change it completely. And only for the good and for the better. I don’t think you have a genuine idea of how much you’ve changed my life and how much you’ve made me happy :)... thank you Genny thank you so much for being the best thing to ever happen to me. Genny you truly are the best most amazing, kindest, nicest, loveliest, most wonderful, most talented person I’ve ever met. Look I won’t write my full thing here since...well I’ll say the rest to you directly. But well .. Genny... I love you... I love you so fucking much alright :D thank you for being the highlight of my life. Thank you for being you Genny and thank you for being here for me and just being my best friend in the world :)

@ritsu-in-a-maid-dress , heyyy duuuudee buddy chum buddy pal XD (don’t ask lmao), I know we like met only a few weeks ago actually idk maybe at the point when I actually decide to post this it’ll be months or like a year 😳 (and if it is HOLY SHIT WTF I HOPE I ACTUALLY TOLD YOU SOMETHING IN THAT TIME CUZ DAMN) and well so far, you have been nothing but an amazing, way too nice, handsome friend that has somehow probably one of the sweetest hearts out there. You’re actually so fucking funny and have made my day much better sometimes just from the very few talked we’ve had lmao (correction now it’s actually been quite a few 😳and honestly they’re getting to much better and funnier so thank you so much for making me laugh :D (oh and I will never forget that one call we had for 3 FUCKING HOURS DUDE!!!! THAT WAS AWSOME!!!) ) and while at first I was very shy to even talk to you. I’m happy that I can comfortably say hi without any regrets or anything lmao. I will tell you something I’m very thankful for in dm too cuz it’s kinda private :) so yeah.... thank you so much for being you and being my friend :D

@quellfy yoooooo duuuudde I don’t think we’ve ever really interacted on here but I’ve talked to you on the server and well I can know from there that. You’re just such an amazing and kind person. And that every time we talk I have a great time :)) I don’t know a lot about you but I do know that you’re an amazing artist who has amazing art (yes even when it’s not sad “pointing at alluka in snow drawing” amazing) and that you’re such a kind and I nice human being who’s been just super nice and good to me :)) so thank you. For being my friend and for being such an amazing human being :D

@faceless-dude yooooo I don’t think we’ve properly talked before but like :))) I really think you’re an amazing person and just super talented. Your art is something I’ve never seen before and I really really think it’s unique and just amazing. Thank you for your wonderful wishes. And yeah dw. I plan on keeping that promise >:) Gen will get her booties kicked just like you asked XD

@kur-upira we probably only interacted a few times. But in those few times. I could tell what kind of person you are and how much of an amazing person you are :D. I can tell you that just from those few times. I was able to see how much of a beautiful, talented (yes holy shit. I cannot stress this enough. I love your artstyle and good god it’s so good everything from the actual drawings to the shading to the colouring. It’s amazing dude. I really mean that. It’s one of the most unique and most beautiful artstyles I’ve ever seen), friendly and just amazing human being you are :))) thank you for those few interaction (which probably took me whole days to respond to because of anxiety and bs XD sorry about that lmao) and yeah. I would absolutely love to get to know you better and to interact more with each other :D

@starrynarwhale, I know we like pretty much only interacted like twice with each other but from those few times. I knew that you were a wonderful person :) not just an amazing person. But a very talented one too :D (your art is amazing dude. It’s really great. Not only that but like. Can I just say that. Your frog gon fridays are godly dude. They’re always so fucking cool and wholesome 🥺🥺I love them so much. Amazing) you seem like a very kind and amazing person so yeah :)) I’d love to get to know you better :D

@catboyyouko yooooo. I know we probably have only interacted once but let me tell you dude. You’re a wonderful, amazing, nice, kind and extremely talented human being. (Dude you don’t understand. Your art is fucking amazing. Not only that but your comics are so goddamn great too. Not just in an art way but in a story way too. It’s just always so amazing) oh and also like... I see that you vent a lot and stuff and just wanted to let you know that if you ever needed someone to talk to or vent to. I’m here for you. I feel like you’re such an amazing person and I would love to get to know you better :) so yeah. If you ever need anyone to talk to. I’m here alright :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH

And if I didn’t @ you I promise It’s just cuz I’m too scared to bother you and @ Ing this many ppl has already made my anxiety skyrocket.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I am very sorry for what you are going through, think that in adittion to that unpleasant people who attack you, there are also many more who enjoy, respect and follow your content, and want the best for you. I really like your reviews and opinions, and although I do not always agree with you, I respect and validate your opinion as much as anyone's because that is to be respectful with others and have common sense.--

--You should not take into account what people who are unable to respect another human being like them say, that they cannot even separate reality from fiction, all for a simple opinion different from theirs about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, you cannot even take them seriously. If those people need to insult, despise and make someone feel less for a reason like that, it simply speaks of how miserable they are as humans on and off the internet.--

Please don't take into account what these people say, listen to those who appreciate you and show respect. I hope you feel better and I am sorry for what is happening in your life, but you can always forward with your will and the people around you.(Hugs)

I only read these ones this morning, or afternoon more accurately cause I have a very bad sleep schedule for weeks cause I been playing video games too late into the day, but I’m slowly working on it. I’m just really bad at it.

And all I can really say to accurately give my reaction to it, was that it was something I definitely needed to read first thing in the morning. If it wasn’t for those messages yesterday, and a friend helping me out I may not have even been calmed down enough to go to bed at all. I could’ve easily not gone to sleep literally at all and had been even worse today because of it to the point of having another meltdown of a day.

Like I don’t wanna make myself sound too good, because if I did, I’d feel like I was lying, because my mind feels like a bloody nose filled up with tissue paper, if that even makes a darling lick of comprehension.

I find it so entirely weird, and patronizing, and frustrating how the fandom can be, if not worse. Like I say something unpopular, I do it a lot, probably with literally every freaking character. Even Tim, because I know that quite a few Tim fans don’t like me either.

I don’t read every comic and go “Oh this must just be how it works”, because that’s not how my brain is wired. I’m Autistic, I go in-depth, I do a lot of research, that is how I am wired when I get a hyperfixation, I want to know everything. So I say a lot of unpopular stuff because I don’t just accept things, because I don’t work that way.

But it goes like this when it comes to people just being miserable, they have to make me out to either be a bigot or bias, they either don’t even read what I say, or just don’t acknowledge what I say.

My biggest point they will leave out completely to focus on other things that are either completely irrelevant and just there to make me look bad even though it doesn’t really make sense what it has to do anything once you think about it a lick more, or just make me look straight up like a crappy person.

I got really ranty and rambly after this, and I try not to take up people’s dashboards as much. So I’ll put this here. If it’ll work, cause one time I don’t think it did, and it made me panic once cause I felt really bad. But it just would not show up.

Because trying to make a bad face out of a real life living person isn’t that bad, compared to the horrors of having to acknowledge the arcs and actions that their favorite character been through evidentially.

Sorry to say and everything, but I don’t see how on Earth Tim cheating on Ariana has anything to do with a literal whole other arc of Steph being abusive and doing really horrible things, or all those “teases” that were actually flirts that were making Tim genuinely uncomfortable to the point of sexual harassment, and told her not to do, which she didn’t actually always listen to sometimes, surprisingly to some. I also don’t see why it’s so hard to comprehend that Tim kissing Steph just because he got ahead of himself because he was euphoric he was about to die, yet it was made clear he didn’t do sexually or romantically, isn’t as bad (comparatively because it’s still insanely inappropriate and weird, but I wouldn’t call him a pervert over it) to me as Steph literally pinning Tim down during a gun fight to kiss him against his will, or taking advantage of Tim believing she was dead and giving her CPR to do it again. Like I don’t really see why saying “Just read the comics” has to do with anything, because I don’t have the art skills to just make all those panels up like that. Which by the way, I don’t give a single fuck about what bad thing Steph has done. I don’t like her because a lot of her stories are badly written, and a lot of her fans are straight up assholes. Which they conveniently ignore, because I must be villainized, because they can’t handle me acknowledging something that isn’t their idealized image. But let me also state that there are assholes in literally every fandom, I just have certain ones that decide to be assholes to me. And I don’t remember the part where I said teasing was bullying either. I can’t find that on my list of thoughts in my brain. Almost like they don’t actually know how I think or what I meant. 

And I don’t know why on Earth Tim not trusting Damian to the point of being kind of scummy has much to do with Damian doing horrid things in comics they like as well. They’re their own separate people ya know? I’m not comparing characters, because I’m not actually trying to shit on the characters you should realize. Not every negative thing is formed out of toxicity. Toxic positivity where people act like not just enjoying everything is so bad is actually a thing. And I see it quite often in fandoms, and it comes from a good place, but my goodness, just let people express themselves sometimes. It’s not going to hurt anybody as long as they’re not actually an asshole or you just have a fragile ego.

It seems pretty irrelevant to me. Implying that I hate the characters because of these actions is also pretty dumb to me as well, because that’s not the case nor how it works. They keep acting like me not acknowledging the bad thing Tim does in the same posts is some showing of my bias, but no, I just view it as fucking irrelevant, because I do bring up when Tim does something bad when ever it is relevant. It is that simple. I think the only time I’ve ever even could truly come across as trying to baby and defend Tim was me saying Tim cheating on Ari with Steph was out of character, which I still hold that opinion too, but I don’t simply make shit up, I just notice how rushed it was, and how it goes against how Tim is about morals, Steph, and his literal stance on cheating. Stuff that you would actually judge what’s in or out of character on.

I just give everything the same standard. I’ve never denied Tim wasn’t passive aggressive or conscending to anyone, or has violated privacy, or was immature. If I had it was probably me caught up in the moment, and pretty weird, because I’ve actively talked about it before.

And I’m referencing stuff in the past with these oddly specific examples, that hasn’t bugged me truly in a while, but when I find a new example of stuff, I can’t help but have it come back to mind and make me question how people got to just be shivery little jerks over things like made-up characters.

I’ve acknowledged the fact that my blog was too anti-Steph plenty of times, even as it was happening, because it was mostly through anons and not me. Some of which I defended Steph on. I just had too much anxiety not responding to them, because I’d feel a sense of guilt for ignoring someone. Which I’m over and past.

I’m not going to be held down by stuff I already corrected about myself.

It’s been so heavily implied to me before, that groups just talk mad shit about me, and made up this horrendous little reputation for me among themselves, and it is so disheartening, considering I’m just this baby faced geek that read too many comics, simply explaining stuff that had happened in actual comics without actual bias. I don’t run DC Comics. I’m just a blogger that they really really don’t like, and take it as a personal attack of some kind, at least going off of how they act.

Maybe it’s what I get for expecting people to treat fiction as fiction and not a big freaking deal when I say something or don’t say something, because they’d understand the context I’m trying to explain literal events in comics as they are, and other things that happened in other situations have no relevance to what I’m saying, because I’m not making a bashing piece like they seem to think.

I know I take fiction very seriously, because I just really want good content again. But I don’t make real life people’s lives miserable. Do ya think I talk shit about Bendis all the time? Not really. I’ve genuinely probably sang his praises more than otherwise. I think Tynion’s the closest example of when I could’ve, but that was years ago at this point. I’ve made it so much more clearer it’s about the comics than them, because simply I’ve realized how scummy it is to mock an actual person, who’s probably actually a really cool guy to know. Do I fuck that up sometimes, probably. But I’m definitely not telling him to kill himself.

If they can’t acknowledge what I actually say, and continue to just try to make me look bad. I don’t personally view myself as the bad one. That’d be utterly redundant.

It always boils down to that I just acknowledge stuff they refuse to, and they just play ignorant about, and pretend they just can’t possibly understand why anyone would say it. I didn’t pull the stuff out of my ass, I have the panels. I didn’t skip anything out. At most I just don’t find the excuses they have to be freaking relevant or over power the action at hand or sometimes the literal motivation she/he had going into it.

And it’s 100% okay, but even though this is a space on the internet, and I’m practically a loser shut in. I still live in the real world and when I’m not having a bad anxiety attack or whatever else, I try to be as reasonable as possible.

I just look at it, look at the context and past contexts, look at the motivations, judge it for what I see, and move on. And never consider it a big deal until someone else makes a big deal about it.

I don’t even view every person that does it against me to be a bad person, some of them most definitely are because they go too far with it, but some of them literally have no idea proper context anymore, or they’re just very very insecure.

It’s very difficult to outright go ‘THEY’RE ALL EVIL’, but when there’s so many that are just putrid humans that want me to take my own life, it’s a wee bit overwhelming, and understandably so, yeah?

People sometimes just don’t properly process what they’re doing, because they’re so caught up in their insecurity, or possibly even a mild ego, but there’s others that will do it because they’re so quick to anger and hatred over fucking nothing.

Welcome to reality. It’s a lot like taking a train ride through a diseased rectum sometimes. But other times it’s like taking a trolley though a nice field. It’s a mixed bag, but it’s a ride that never stops but once.

An important thing I do wanna say though, is that I have everyone who supports me in my heart. I may lose my sight of that when I’m going through an episode I’m having a heckuva lot of trouble controlling, but I’d be in a much worse spot without them. Some of them are so dang respectful, and some are just so legitimately sweet and kind that it’s a blessing to have ever had an interaction of any kind or level with them.

I don’t take any of you for granted even if sometimes I seem ignorant of it during a terrible depressive episode.

You often don’t agree with me and can make it very clear, but it’s the respect you give me nonetheless that I take as precious, because it’s some of the best stuff to receive when all else seems so bleak and lifeless. It’s not an honor everyone sadly receives, so I treasure that a lot. And when I’m feeling so down and out, it sometimes can be the one thing that keeps me even near level, and that’s such an honor that even if it’s such a small amount, because obviously it’s a Tumblr blog I’m always aware of that, it just does mean a lot to me, because it genuinely is an honor to me.

I love you guys a lot. I hope that’s always obvious even when I’m making a mess out of myself. You guys are some of my favorite people on this planet.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Topic that I KNOW will prompt a rant from you if I send you an ask about it: Carlotta from Phantom of the Opera - did she deserve the way she was treated?

You got it. 😉

The short answer: absolutely not.

The long answer: absolutely not, and here’s why.

So first things first, Carlotta Giudicelli has been the prima donna of the Paris Opéra for five years. This is a huge freaking deal, the prime position, and also a career that wasn’t exactly long-lived in 19th century Paris, where musicodramatic demands and the hyperattention of the public (and yes I did just slap together a couple words) were so great that many a soprano either fell apart, was replaced by a more fashionable (read: younger and prettier and different), or both. (Case in point: Marie-Cornélie Falcon was the prima donna of the Paris Opéra from 1832 to 1837, or five years— the same length as Carlotta’s time up to the start of the musical—, until she very publicly and embarrassingly lost her voice during a performance of a new opera created partially for her, virtually ending her career overnight. She was 24 years old.) So this is an absolutely brutal business, a very, very fragile place to be.

This doesn’t mean that being prima donna doesn’t have huge perks; it just means that it has huge potential downfalls. And she’s painfully aware of these downfalls, and though she does try to stay optimistic, eventually enough is enough. Keep in mind that Carlotta has been harassed by the Phantom for three years prior to the events of the musical.

And why? Two reasons:

1. The Phantom just doesn’t like her.

2. He wants Christine to take the spotlight and replace Carlotta.

The latter is one of the things Carlotta is afraid of most: being replaced. The former is something she cannot control either.

There is no actual evidence given in the musical that Carlotta is in any way a bad performer; the only ‘evidence’ is the Phantom’s continual collection of snarky comments about her. Are they true? We don’t actually know. More than likely, it’s just a matter of opinion.

Also, I will say this: her music? That is not messing around. Her music is brutal to sing. And if you’re able to sing that, then you’re a damn good singer in my book. But anyway.

So like I said, she’s been getting all these threatening notes and actions against her person and her voice for three years, and of course, as you would expect, she’s absolutely done with it. And since she’s not able to directly confront the source of all this harassment (although wouldn’t it be cool if she did?), she lashes out at...just about everyone else, especially Christine. Admittedly, this is absolutely not cool. But it’s understandable. And the Phantom’s toad-croaking revenge is really very funny and perhaps on one level she deserves it a little bit because Christine wanted nothing to do with any of this. 

But then the Phantom goes absolutely way too far.

Carlotta almost completely disappears from the story after Act I (in the synopsis written to be included in the program for my school’s production, actually, Carlotta wasn’t mentioned at all in Act II).

The three major things that she does in Act II are:

1. She gets upset again about the casting of Don Juan Triumphant, blames Christine for this, but then realizes it’s not her fault (more on this later),

2. She drags the opera during a rehearsal at which the Phantom may or may not be present, and

3. She performs in the opera only to later find Piangi’s body backstage.

Let’s start with #2, which I find a little inconsequential. We get it, Phantom. Pretty much everyone hates your opera and they’re only doing it because they hope you’ll get off their backs. When you hear people dragging your work, it hurts. I get it. Carlotta and Piangi aren’t the only ones who hate it, though. Everyone hates it, and you don’t do a whole lot directly to them.

#1: Carlotta is still understandably severely PO’d about the entire situation, especially because it looks like her worst fear is coming true: her career is going down the drain and Christine is replacing her. 

But then she realizes it’s not Christine’s fault. Christine is not trying to destroy her career and her life— she’s just as much a victim and pawn as anyone else. Those two little words, “she’s mad,” say so much. While Carlotta may still be missing the point a little, she does get that Christine isn’t trying to hurt her, so she shouldn’t be trying to get back at Christine. And she never makes so much as a side eye to her after that. She gets it. She’s learning. She’s getting off her high horse a bit.

And now #3. She doesn’t let the Phantom get her down. She may have only a small part but by God, she will sing and act the hell out of that small part. The Phantom can’t take that spirit away from her. That is exactly what the Phantom hoped for when he made her croak in Il Muto, and while he got her to run offstage and quit the show then, she’s not staying off the stage for long (also interesting to note that virtually the exact same thing happens with the Hannibal to Il Muto jump).

He hated her. He wanted to ruin her career. He wanted her permanently out of the way to make room for Christine, but he didn’t want to kill her. 

He knew that it would be worse to take away everything Carlotta cared about and make her live without it than to kill her. He tried to take away her art, her career, her passion, her way of living— and he failed.

So he targets the one person in the world Carlotta truly cares about. Perhaps that will break her, to lose the one true friend, fellow larger-than-life artist, compatriot, and confidant she had— and the person who in many productions (including the one I was in) is billed as her husband. The two of them work together, live together, have the same fiery energy, and are a package deal. (He also storms off when she quits Hannibal, although to be fair, he probably does the show anyway. But they pretty much always appear at least somewhat together in musical numbers, so my point still stands regardless.)  

The Phantom doesn’t need to kill Piangi to get onstage. Literally, he could probably scare Piangi into giving him his cloak. Or even just steal the cloak and go onstage without even dealing with him at all. Besides, without Piangi, there is no leading tenor at the Opéra, and then there’s really no show. And the Phantom wants the Opéra to keep running.

He just kills Piangi to hurt Carlotta. That’s it. And she does not deserve that.

She’s not perfect. But she doesn’t deserve to lose him, or her career, or both.

And that is today’s rant. ❤️

[apologytoanna]

An Apology

I’d like to preface this with one thing: I am not writing this to save face. If the fate roleplay community wants to hate me forever for what I did, that’s fine with me. If I will forever be haunted by my former actions, that’s fine with me too. I am willing to accept the consequences. I would never be able to grow as a person if I didn’t otherwise.

I returned to Tumblr to write with some friends who expressed interest in rping together again. My intention was to stay in my own lane, but I had no desire to hide my blog either. I was not going to hide from the callout I received, and if people wished to question me about, I would not shy away from them either. I want to be transparent.

For the past 3 years, since the events between you and me had transpired in 2019, I’ve been regretful. Last night, I looked over my callout again. When it was originally made, I was too anxious to look at the screencaps. Mostly, because I didn’t want to see the kind of person I was. The other day I forced myself to face what I feared. And I understand why you and your friends did what you did. I deserved that callout, because the person in those old screenshots is a vile, piece of shit. The things I said and did were absolutely horrible and I deserve every stroke of bad karma I’ve received since then. It’s why I decided to make a public apology, because I feel like I cannot express my deep sorrow in any other way. Not sorrow towards myself, but a deep sadness for what I had done to you.

I admit. It was painful to see screenshots of my art in the callout. But when I saw them, I realized this is how you must have felt. To have people take something you’ve put your energy and passion into, only to have it mocked.

The things I said about my dog too, and wanting her to die, though this doesn’t pertain to you, were also disgusting. And I am being fully-transparent now: the bullying, the vile behavior, the stupid edgy posts, I did all that to impress my friends at the time. I wanted them to like me so terribly I forgot how to be myself. I was never really a confrontational person, but the individuals who I had surrounded myself with brought out the worst in me. The sad part is, that I let them. I say that I was 19 at the time, but is that really an excuse? I was a spineless, weak-hearted, asshole. And age has no correlation with that.

I know I’ve attempted to reach out to you and apologize to you before. I know you’re thinking to yourself ‘i wish this guy would just leave me alone’. But truth is, I cannot sleep peacefully knowing there is still so much anger and resentment between us. I don’t hate you though. I don’t have the right to hate you.

For a brief moment, I had lost myself. I thought, maybe I should simply let things be and we can should just remain enemies. But I sincerely do not want that. This has gone on for so long and I’m tired. I’m sure you are too. The fear, the anxiety, none of it is worth it. And I know that you are under the belief that someone like myself can’t change. But I can change and I have changed. I’m not the same person I was back then. I’ve matured and grown and I am truly trying my hardest to be better. Sure, like everyone else, I’ve had my slip-ups here and there. But I never, ever, want to be that guy again.

And while this is meant to serve as an apology, it’s also meant to serve as means for closure.

I know, that apologizing over and over and over again may seem useless, but to me, it doesn’t seem that way. I wish I could properly express just how sorry I am. More than anything, I wish I could speak to you one-on-one, but I realize that such a thing will never happen, and it’s only a distant reality I’ve convinced myself to be a possibility. If I were in you shoes, I would not want to speak with someone who had treated me so horribly either.

And while I do not want to minimize your feelings, I think it’s safe to say that both of us had been hurt in the process. I want to move on, but I can’t because the tension between us still remains. And similarly, I can only guess that you might be anxious with my return to Tumblr, and that’s the last thing I want you to feel.

I know I am playing a dangerous game by addressing you so publicly, and that I will likely get another callout for this. But please, I ask that you at least give reading this a chance. I ask that you have just a morsel of confidence in me, and that I have no intention to ever hurt you, or your friends, again.

I am not some monster. I am not some psychopath. And while I deserved to be punished for my actions, I am not so horrible as to think I was in the right. You’re right; I was abusive, trashy, and disgusting. But I have long since taken on a path of self-improvement.

I don’t know you well at all. I cannot put anything here that may be of any value to you, but I know for a fact that you are a good person. And completely undeserving of everything that I had put you through. Nor is anyone else who had received the worst of my behavior, for the matter.

I am someone with very little confidence in myself. I don’t say this for pity, but it is the driving force behind why I acted the way I did. All I wanted was to be praised and liked by the people around me. I wanted them to think I was oh so cool~ when in reality I was acting like a complete nut job. I hate the person I was. I detest him.

You are a wonderful person, Anna. I wish I wasn’t such a deplorable person in the past; perhaps in another lifetime, we could have even been friends. 

And while I doubt it will happen, if you do choose to speak with me. It’s the only and last thing I will ever ask of you. I am not asking that my callout be deleted. And, yes, this sounds crazy, but I’m even willing to leave tumblr again if it means you can be at peace. However, I will not force you. And thus, I will respect your decision to ignore what I have to say here altogether.   @fakepriest

[crackimagines]

Everyday Sunshine (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Child!Byleth Professor AU

After working hard for several months straight, the tiny professor and the Golden Deer class goes to enjoy some time off from the Monastery life, the beach.

Child!Byleth Post Masterlist here!

--------

Byleth stared out at the calm waters of the beach, feeling the cool wind blow gently across his face, blowing a little bit of his hair back.

(Byleth) “So, this is-”

(Hilda, Raphael, Dorothea, Sylvain) “THE BEACH!”

The four ran to the water and started frolicking, feeling how cold it was and laughing at their reactions.

Byleth saw the classmates he had recruited dash into the waters as well.

First was Sylvain and Dorothea, with Ingrid being dragged by the two against her will.

Caspar and Ashe tried going into the water and were not ready for how cold it was.

Bernadetta and Ignatz started painting the waters as the other classmates rushed in.

Felix simply decided to train for the moment with the wind feeling nice out in the distance.

(Hilda) “Come on, slowpoke!”

(Marianne) “A-Ah, it’s s-so cold!”

(Leonie) “You get used to it! I gotta train up while we’re here!”

(Raphael) “You said it, let’s go!”

(Ingrid) “How does the water get colder and colder?!”

(Dorothea) “Need me to warm you up, Ingrid?~”

(Ingrid) “BACK OFF-”

(Ignatz) “What lovely scenery!”

(Bernadetta) “I know, right? I can feel my art juices flowing!”

One by one, the other students started to jump in.

(Sothis) “What a beautiful location for a moment of respite, child! You really know how to pick them!”

(Byleth) Wasn’t me who picked this place.

(Catherine) “So kid, how’s the place?”

(Shamir) “I was the one who found it, thanks.”

(Catherine) “We found it together, details, details! Anyways, you not going in?”

Byleth was in a casual outfit, but it didn’t seem like he was going to swim with the others.

(Byleth) “No thanks. I never understood why everyone just splashed around. Swimming as a training exercise I could understand but...-”

(Lysithea) “I agree.”

Everyone turned to Lysithea who was in a full swimming suit that covered her entire body, one wouldn’t be faulted for thinking it was some weird form of a onsie. (a diving suit).

(Lysithea) “It’s so childish...”

(Catherine) “You say that, but I saw you eyeing the others enviously.”

(Lysithea) “I-I was not!”

(Byleth) “You don’t have to hold back on our account. We brought you here to have fun.”

(Annette) “Yeah, come on! You always work so hard, we won’t tease!”

Annette and Mercedes were in swimsuits, looking excited to go into the waters.

(Mercedes) “Please, join us!”

(Lysithea) “I...I won’t be made fun of?”

(Claude) “Hey, we all came here to act like kids, didn’t we? If it means you’ll enjoy yourself for once, I promise that I’ll act as childish as you will.”

Lysithea then smiled and looked to Annette.

(Lysithea) “Very well! Let’s go ahead!”

She joined Annette and Mercedes, and met up with the rest of the girls.

Meanwhile, Caspar, Raphael, and Sylvain were carrying Lorenz and Ferdinand to the water.

(Lorenz) “U-UNHAND ME AT ONCE! I MAY BE IN MY SWIMSUIT BUT I CANNOT GET WET-”

(Sylvain) “Oh ho, you aren’t getting away with that!”

(Byleth) “Hah...everyone’s having fun.”

(Flayn) “Ah, Byleth, there you are!”

Flayn ran up to his side and had a bright smile on her face, looking at Byleth with anticipation.

(Flayn) “Come on, the water looks amazing!”

(Claude) “You said it yourself teach, we all came here to have fun! Don’t disappoint the lovely lady now-”

(Byleth) “Ugh, shut it. Besides, I’m not even dressed for the water-”

(Catherine) “Eh, who cares! If you don’t go in, I’ll throw you in!”

(Claude) “...On second thought, stay put! I wanna see the great Catherine toss you like a ball!”

(Shamir) “Heh, that’d be interesting to see-”

(Byleth) “L-LET’S GO, FLAYN!”

He grabbed her by the hand and walked quickly over to the waters.

Claude laughed as he watched his classmates enjoy their day at the beach.

(Catherine) “How about you, kiddo? You joining them?”

(Claude) “I will in a second, I’m just...admiring the view.”

(Shamir) “Sure that’s a topic you wanna be discussing with only girls around?”

(Claude) “Well, I can’t deny that aspect of the view is nice but...that’s not what I meant. I don’t think I saw the Professor engage with the class this much.”

(Catherine) “Now that you mention it, the kid wasn’t exactly what you’d call sociable at the beginning phases of your class.”

(Claude) “It’s crazy to see how much he’s changed. He’s acting more like...well, a kid his age.”

(Shamir) “Here I thought I wouldn’t find anyone who had less emotions than me. I don’t think I ever saw him smile until just now.”

(Catherine) “Think the kid’ll actually thank you for these emotions?”

(Claude) “Doubt it. Well, at least in public. In private, he’s a like a little brother, funny one at that too. At first, I was really skeptical that a kid would be teaching our class but now? I think he fits right in with us misfits.”

(Shamir) “Hmph...Speaking of emotions, his seems to flare up around Flayn, huh?”

(Claude) “Her and Lysithea I seem to notice, though its different from what he usually has with us. Me and Leonie for example, piss him off. Raphael confuses him to no end, I’m pretty sure he’s exploded with anger around Lorenz, and for Marianne, his gentle side comes out.”

(Catherine) “What, he has a crush?”

(Claude) “Probably, but doubt either the teach or Lysithea would ever confirm that. As for Flayn, I’m pretty sure she’s been dropping hints.”

(Shamir) “...Good luck to her with that...”

(Catherine) “Well, we’ve been lazily staring for too long! Come on Shamir, let’s get wet!”

(Shamir) “Ugh, check your phrasing please-”

(Claude) “Hah, she’s right ya know. HEEEEY, HILDA!”

Claude, Hilda and Marianne enjoyed splashing each other, and began terrorizing the other students by splashing the freezing waters on everyone else.

Felix eventually joined Sylvain, Dorothea and Ingrid in the waters.

Caspar, Leonie, Raphael, and Ashe all had a contest of who could swim the fastest from rock to rock.

Bernadetta and Ignatz continued painting a beautiful portrait of the scene before them.

Lorenz and Ferdinand enjoyed chatting with each other while calmly enjoying the water instead of being thrown in.

Mercedes was trying to help Lysithea and Annette to swim considering how short they were, which led to very amusing lines from both of them.

Flayn and Byleth walked alongside the beach line together, casually chatting about how nice the weather felt and eventually went shell hunting.

BONUS: Nighttime Event (Flayn, Lysithea, Claude)

Flayn

Byleth heard rustling from the sleeping beds and saw Flayn get up.

(Flayn) “Oh, did I wake you up?”

They decided to walk alongside the beach’s waters since neither of them could fall asleep. After a silent walk, Flayn and Byleth sat together, watching the moonlight shine upon the waves.

(Byleth) “You know, it’s my first time actually enjoying my time at a beach.”

(Flayn) “But, you’ve been to beaches before, right?”

He shrugged.

(Byleth) “Sure, but I never got to take in the scenery. I was always there for missions. Frankly I hated beaches before because of so much problems preventing our cavalry moving faster, like sand.”

(Flayn) “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it now! The beach is truly a wonderful thing.”

(Byleth) “You went to beaches with Seteth and your mother, right?”

(Flayn) “Yes. Father, mother and I loved to fish at the oceans, there were so many peculiar types of fish to see!”

She had a sad smile as she reminisced about those days she spent.

(Flayn) “I miss it quite so but...thanks to you, I’m able to make new memories like this one!”

Byleth smiled back, nodding.

(Byleth) “I’m glad to help out, Flayn. I’m glad you’re in the class as well.”

They both stared out again before Byleth cleared his throat.

It wasn’t unusual to Flayn to see the professor’s true emotions, but this time it surprised her. It seemed like he was...blushing?

(Byleth) “If...If it helps I’d...like to go fishing with you since you miss it, and Seteth doesn’t have much time due to his work but...-”

(Flayn) “I’d love to fish with you, professor!”

(Byleth) “...Good. It’s a promise, okay?”

(Flayn) “Promise!”

Lysithea

Lysithea made sure to not wake anyone as she went to the nearby cliff and watched the stars above.

This was the most fun she’s had in a while, and she was going to cherish this memory. After all, she was going to die soon.

(Byleth) “Can’t sleep either?”

Lysithea turned around and saw Byleth walk to her.

(Byleth) “Mind if I join in?”

(Lysithea) “Be my guest.”

He sat down, and they looked at the skies together.

(Byleth) “It felt good to be ourselves and not have anyone call us out on it, doesn’t it?”

(Lysithea) “For me, sure. I didn’t know you were capable of showing emotions, professor!”

She said it in a slightly mocking tone, but at the same time she was also a bit serious.

In response, Byleth chuckled.

(Byleth) “Neither was I. So, is there anything on your mind? It’s not like you to be up this late unless you were studying.”

She faintly blushed due to the amount of he detail he paid attention to her, but it quickly faded away when her thoughts were brought back up.

(Lysithea) “...You already know about how the crests have shortened my lifespan right? I was just...making sure I enjoy today. I don’t exactly have much time left-”

(Byleth) “Don’t speak like that.”

(Lysithea) “Huh?”

(Byleth) “As long as I’m here, you’re going to live. I don’t know what I have to do, but I promise you that. I am not going to outlive any of my students...”

(Lysithea) “...Thank you, Byleth.”

Byleth nodded, and they both continued to quietly watch the stars above.

Lysithea felt her blush come back.

Claude

Byleth was on a hill nearby, overlooking all of his students.

Even though he didn’t hear anything in particular to set him off, he still said something.

(Byleth) “Hey, Claude.”

(Claude) “Ah, I see you were able to see right through me! Dang, was going to give you a good scare too!”

(Byleth) “Heh, course you were...come on, best seat in the house.”

Claude sat down next to him. Byleth was right. This little hill looked over the ocean’s waves, the stars in the sky, and the students.

(Claude) “So, whatcha thinking about, teach?”

(Byleth) “Nothing in particular. I’m just looking over at all the kids...”

Everyone was sleeping so soundly. Byleth was starting to wish that everyday could be like this.

(Claude) “So, how’s it feel being a parent?”

Byleth laughed, turning to Claude.

(Byleth) “If these are my kids, then these are the most idiotic and insane kids I’ve ever seen.”

(Claude) “Don’t deny it, you still love us!”

(Byleth) “That I do, Claude...that I do...Ya know, I’m going to miss you guys when the classes have to leave. All of you will be off in your own territories, doing adult things. And I’ll still be here, teaching for the next 5 years until you all come back.”

(Claude) “...Ya know teach I’m...quite proud of you.”

(Byleth) “How’s this punchline going to end?”

(Claude) “Nope, no joking here. It’s coming straight from the heart this time. Are you aware of how much you changed from when you first came into the monastery to the way you are now? The fact you’re saying you’d miss us is proof!”

(Byleth) “Hm...I suppose I didn’t show much emotion back then.”

(Claude) “That’s putting it lightly. I didn’t see as much as a brow furrow whenever I tried to get ya to react!”

(Byleth) “That I wish did stay. But...you know, it was thanks to you and the rest of the class that got me to where I am.”

(Claude) “Hah, that’s true. But at the same time, we wouldn’t be the people we are today without you too. Marianne probably would’ve never spoken to any of us, Ignatz would be too scared to talk to people, Lysithea never getting her head out of the books, the list goes on! This class needs you, just as much as you need us.”

(Byleth) “Hm...I gotta say, it feels good to hear that, considering it’s you, Claude.”

(Claude) “Yeesh, I’m not allowed to have my moments, teach?”

They both laughed and noticed that the stars were shining brightly all of a sudden.

Streaks of light flew across the skies and they both went back to being quiet. 

The two didn’t have to say anything at that point, they could guess what they were going to say.

(Sothis) “They’re so beautiful!”

While Claude was distracted, Byleth looked at Claude, then to the students as they continued to sleep soundly, shooting stars flying across the skies.

(Byleth) Yes...Yes they are.

[imaginationintowords]

Not Good Enough *part three*

Avengers x Reader miniseries.

Avengers x reader angst.

word count: 2169 

Plot: The Avengers discover the reader has left.

Part one [x] Part two [x]

Tagged: @firstonetoleave @nerdy-jelly-art @const4ntines @coldfacedwarf @mrs-hemmo1999 @l0kisbitch @lula132 @thetimidsarcasticcat @1awesomeash @littlephoenix-fire @xxxxnovagalaxyxxxx @inumorph @babymintuniverse @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger

Permanent tagged: @purplesatinsheets @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict

__________

[still at the Avengers compound]

[third person POV]

"Did she leave anything else?" Steve asked Bucky.

"She also left her laptop and phone." Bucky tells them.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. call everyone to the common room now, please." Tony says.

A few minutes later all the Avengers were sitting in the common room, not really knowing why.

"What's going on Tony?" Wanda asks.

"[Y/N] left." he tells the group.

"What do you mean left? Like for a vacation?" Bruce asked, confused.

"No. She's gone. She left this note in her room." Steve explains, handing the note over to Bruce to have a look at.

"I told you two, were too harsh to her about the accident." Thor says.

"It was only a suspension. We've all had them. It's not like we wanted her gone." Tony defends.

"Let's not fight about how we handled that situation. We admit our mistake and regret the way we handled it. We impulsively acted on our anger." Steve speaks up, trying to keep everyone at bay.

"When was the last time anyone saw or heard from her?" Tony asks the room.

Everyone paused to take a moment to think.

"Wanda, what about you? Your room is right next door."

"I haven't heard her any noise from her room in a long time. Last time I heard anything was probably a week ago. I didn't give it much thought. I wouldn't think she would just leave." Wanda sadly says.

"Where would she go?" Bruce asked, handing the note back to Steve.

F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice cuts through the room, before anyone could answer.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a Norman Osborn on the phone for you, Mr. Stark."

"Of course he is." Tony rolls his eyes.

"Patch him through to my phone please." he says pulling out his phone.

"Norman." he says stoically.

"Tony. Lovely to hear your voice!" Norman chirps.

"I can only imagine why you're calling." Tony says trying to maintain his anger.

There's no one he hated more than Norman Osborn.

"Oh, I bet you know exactly why I'm calling." Norman smirks through the phone.

“Cut the shit and tell me.” Stark said, getting more angry by the second.

“I just wanted to call and thank you.” Norman said.

“For what?” Tony asked.

“For letting go your best employee.”

“What are you talking about?” Tony asked confused.

“Wow. I can see how much you truly appreciated her.” Norman quipped.

“Who are you-” Tony began, thinking about who Norman is possibly talking about, then it all clicked.

“[Y/n]?” Tony asked, everyone turned their heads towards him.

“Ding. Ding. Ding.” Norman remarked.

“[Y/n] is working for you?”

“Yes. She just called, asking for a job. Was very surprised to hear you had let her go. Didn’t know you could make dumb decisions.” Norman continued.

“Well I just wanted to call and thank-you. Expect a gift basket soon. Bye Tony.” Norman smugly said, before hanging up on Tony.

“Son of a bitch!” Tony yelled.

"What's the matter?" Steve asked.

"Is [Y/n] okay?" Bucky asked in unison with Steve.

"That was just Norman Osborn, informing me that [Y/n] is going to be working for him." Tony said through gritted teeth.

"What? Why would she do that?" Bruce asked, confused.

"Because apparently I fired her."

"All we did was suspend her" Steve said, "Why would she think that?"

"I mean you did treat her like complete shit." Thor said matter-of-factly.

"You need to fix this. Now." Bucky told Tony and Steve.

"She's one of the best members on this team." Bucky continued.

"I think I might know where she could be." Tony said grabbing his jacket off of the chair.

"I'm coming with you," Steve said, "We both need to fix this mess."

They both left quickly.

"I don't know why you guys are bothering. She clearly doesn't want to be a part of this team." Natasha remarked, rolling her eyes.

"Because she thinks we all hate her. She thinks we wanted this." Bucky tells her, trying not to get angry.

"But maybe it's for the better."

"What the hell are you eve saying, Natasha?" Sam asked.

"I mean maybe this is what she wanted. She's the one that left. Maybe she thought it was for the better." she tried defending herself.

"She only thought that because she thinks we all hate her." Bucky says.

"She at least needs to know we don't hate her, and we didn't want this." Bucky finishes before leaving the room.

"What the hell is even his problem? If anyone should be upset at her, it's him. She almost cost him his life."

"She made a mistake, Nat. You've done the same. Plus, Bucky was really close to [Y/n]." Wanda speaks up.

"Let's just hope Tony and Steve can bring her back." Sam says before leaving the room to check on Bucky.

__________

{[Y/n]'s POV}

"Are you sure this is correct? I don't want to be mixing up chemicals and having everything exploding in my face." Peter asks me.

It was after dinner and I came over to help Peter with his chemistry project.

"Yes, it's going to work. Trust me, I do this for a living." I rol lmy eyes at him.

"Fine. I'll write it down, but if this explodes in my face, expect a phone call from Mrs. Johnson." he says writing down the formulas.

"Please, Mrs. Johnson loves me."

All of a sudden my ears picked up the sound of a very familiar car coming from outside. I jumped out of my seat and rushed towards the window in Peter's room.

And there it is, Tony's car.

The doors opened and out came Tony and Steve.

"Shit." I whispered.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked, walking towards the window.

"Woah. That's Iron Man and Captain America." he said, surprised to see the two heroes walking into our building.

"Yup, that's them." I said, feeling sick to my stomach.

"Are you okay?" You look like you saw a ghost." Peter asks.

Crap. I forgot Peter doesn't know. All he knew was I had a lab job upstate. It was for his own safety that he knew nothing about my avenging life.

"Well, I haven't been totally honest with you." I swallowed, anxiously looking around his room, afraid Tony and Steve will find me in here.

"What do you mean?"

"You know that job I had, upstate?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that."

"How so?" he asked confused about what was going on.

I was having an internal battle about how much I should tel him.

I mean it's Peter, I can trust him.

"For starters, I used to work for Tony Stark." I tell him.

"Wait, what?"

"Well it was more like with him, instead of for him."

"Wait. With him? Wha-" he was cut off by me opening the door telekinetically.

"Surprise." I awkwardly said.

"You-you just opened that with-without-" Peter was at a lost for words, trying to peace everything together.

"Yup." I said walking out of the room, Peter following close by.

"Wait! You were an Avenger!" Peter exclaimed.

"Shh. Yes, I was." I shush him, moving to the front door, to listen out for Tony and Steve.

"Woah. That's so cool!" Peter gushed.

I could hear the elevator door ding, followed by Tony and Steve's walking.

"I'm going to need you to be quiet for the next couple of minutes okay. Tony and Steve cannot know I am here." I tell him, telepathically.

"What the-" Peter was caught off guard, I quickly threw my hand over his mouth.

I can read minds also. Now shush.

"What if this doesn't work Tony?" I heard Steve say, as they passed the Parker's door.

"It has to. We need her to know this was just a giant misunderstanding." Tony tells him.

Misunderstanding. I thought.

"Are they talk-" I quickly covered Peter's mouth, and pointed to his head.

Steve has super hearing. Talk to me through your mind, as if you were talking to me out loud. I tell him.

"Sorry. This is all new to me. Are they talking about you?" He asks, I shrug my shoulders, going back to listening in on them.

I can hear them knocking on my grandma's door, then the door opening.

"Tony? Steve?" I heard my grandma say.

"Hi Evelyn. We were hoping to speak to [Y/n]." Tony said.

"I'm afraid she's not here. May I take a message." I heard my grandma protectively say.

"Is there any way we could wait up for her?" Steve politely asked.

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen. I'm not going to let you two ambush her. If you need to speak to her, I will tell her you stopped by, and let her make that decision on her own."

"We understand why you want to protect her. But there was a big mistake." Tony begs her.

"The only mistake that was made was thinking I could trust you to take care of my granddaughter." my grandma bitterly said.

"Wow. You're grandma's a badass." Peter said to me in his head.

"We're sorry Evelyn. Can you please let [Y/n] know we stopped by, and that we really need to speak to her." Steve asked.

"I will tell her."

"Thank-you. Have a goodnight. Sorry again for causing any trouble." Steve apologizes one last time, before my grandma closed the door.

"Well that didn't go as planned." Tony sighed, as they began to walk back to the elevator.

I stopped listening after that. It was a lot to take in.

"Can I talk now?" Peter whispered.

"Yes, you can talk now." I slid my back down the door, and sat in front of it.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Peter hesitantly asks, sitting down next to me.

"Not really. At least not right now." I tell him.

"Okay. Well if you need to talk, I'm here." he said, placing his hand on top of mine.

I felt a weird buzz sensation coming from his hand.

"Thanks Pete." I said, cautiously moving my hand from his.

What the hell was that...

Peter's eyes were wide.

"Can you read my mind?" he asked.

"Yes and no. I can read your mind, but only when I want to. I can control when and when not to read minds. So don't worry, I'm not currently reading your mind. That'll be a total invasion of your privacy." I tell him, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay. Good." he awkwardly said.

I continued to stare at him, he was acting weird all of a sudden.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah. This is just a lot to take in. You can move things with your mind, you can read minds, and you're a freakin Avenger." he says.

"Was. I was an Avenger. Not anymore." I correct him.

"Right." there was an awkward pause.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I have no clue." I shrugged, completely unsure of what to do.

"Can't you just go back?"

"It's not that easy Pete. Plus, I already got a new job." I tell him.

"You did?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah. I start a new lab job at Oscorp tomorrow."

"That's cool." he says, with much less enthusiasm than when he found out I was an Avenger.

"Do you still talk to Harry Osborn?" I ask him.

"Haven't talked to him since Uncle Ben's funeral." he tells me.

"It's hard to keep in contact when we don't really run in the same circle anymore. He's at that fancy private school, and I'm here." he explains.

"At least you have Ned." I say.

"Yeah. Ned's the greatest." he smiles.

"Yes he is." I say, standing up and brushing my pants, Peter following suit.

"It's getting late, and I have my first day at Oscorp tomorrow. So I'm going to head home." I tell him.

"Okay. Thanks for the help. Also, thanks for trusting me with your superhero secret." he smiles, giving me a hug.

"You were going to find out eventually."

"Yeah, sure." he remarked, opening the door.

"Night Peter." I say stepping out.

"Night." he says closing the door behind me.

__________

"[Y/n] is that you?"my grandma called out, as I walk through the front door.

"Yes. Who else would it be? Tony? Steve?" I tell her, walking into the living room where she was seated at.

"Ah so you heard?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yup. Even told Peter about it." I say.

"Oh really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah. Couldn't really hide it that well when I heard Tony and Steve arrive."

"One less secret to hide." she says.

"Exactly."

"So, what are you going to do?" she asks.

"No idea. This day has already been stressful enough, I just want to go to bed and figure this all out another day." I tell her, feeling the pressure.

"Then do that. Go to bed, and take some time and figure this out." she lightly smiles.

"Plus, you have your first day at Oscorp tomorrow. Give it a week, see how you like it there, you might like it, you might not." she continues.

"Yeah, you're right." I give her a small smile.

"I always am." she says getting up and walking over to me.

"Now, go get some rest." she places a kiss on my head before lightly pushing me towards my room.

_________

As I laid in bed my thoughts were racing around in my head.

Am I making the right decision. Maybe I should call Tony and Steve and find out what they wanted. Maybe my grandma is right and I should just give it some time. Figure out my life outside the Avengers. Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe I was meant to work at Oscorp.

Maybe I'm not meant to be an Avenger.

[pocketfulofpolin]

Protector (9-1-1 fic)

Part One | AO3

Chapter Two  Wonderland

He was drowning.

He tried to move his arms, to move his legs through the water. They were as heavy as lead, he was unable to reach the surface. He gulped, no breath left within him. He knew that he needed to try and breakthrough. Christopher. He needed to find the young boy, to reach him, to bring him to safety. Water filled his lungs. He knew the effects on drowning - his larynx would fall into spasms, the effect would be permanently damaging.

The surface felt miles away. It slowly faded out of view.

He had failed Christopher.

He had failed Eddie.

He had -

Buck woke with a jolt. For a moment there was confusion about his surroundings. The beeping grabbed his attention, the events from the previous day flooded back. As he reached for his cell, the glare of the screen told him he had been asleep for a few hours. It had been months since he had slept without nightmares, slept more than just a few hours at a time. Buck let out a small sigh, as he stretched out, trying to remove the knots which had formed from sleeping in the hard chair.

Movement caught his attention, and Buck turned his head. A small smile broke through, as he watched his daughter - his daughter - move slightly in her sleep. Buck couldn’t believe how much love he had for something so small, as he stood up, standing over her little bed protectively.

“Would you like to feed her?”

He was startled by the new voice. He spotted the nurse - Jem, from her colorful name tag - who came closer. Buck remembered seeing her briefly before he fell asleep. He didn’t want to wake her, she looked truly peaceful. However, he knew that the medical staff were there, and would know exactly how to help the baby. Buck had been around a few babies in his time as a firefighter, he couldn’t remember any newborn be so quiet before without it being a concern. As if she had read his mind, Jem (who had been completing checks) spoke up in a low tone.

“She’s one of the calmest newborns I have looked after,” Jem said, as she carefully marked something down on the chart. “She stirred once, while you were asleep, but it was almost as if she knew you needed rest.” She looked towards the new father. “Unfortunately it won’t last. Even the calmest of newborns make their presence known once they find their home.”

Buck let out a half-laugh.

“My sister says that I was trouble from the start,” Buck said, recalling Maddie’s stories of his childhood. The ten year age difference between brother and sister had always been obvious. Maddie had fond memories of him as a baby, as a toddler, which many other siblings would not recall. “Clearly she is taking after - “

He broke off.

The truth was he had no idea about Ali’s, or how she would have been. In the few months they had been together, they had learned very little about each other. Buck only knew that her parents had died a few years before the earthquake and that she had a brother she rarely spoke with.  He had snippets of information about her past from comments, knew that her love of art had been a trait from her maternal grandmother, yet nothing that could assist in raising a child.

As if she had read his thoughts, the nurse made a comment of her own. “It may sound redundant, I am truly sorry for your loss,”.

“We weren’t together. I didn’t even know about the baby.” Buck said, words forming before he could stop them. “I want to feel angry. To ask her why she didn’t tell me…” He couldn’t feel anger towards someone who wasn’t there. “I don’t know what I feel.”

Buck wanted to believe that he could face anything. Over the past year, he had been trapped by a fire truck, suffered through months of surgeries and physical therapies, broken up with his girlfriend, experienced a pulmonary embolism, lived through a tsunami, attempted to sue his family, and survived during the coldness from the said family once he had returned. Buck wanted to believe that he was strong, even though he had nothing prepared. The apartment in which he lived was not suitable for a baby, he had nothing brought, he hadn’t taken any classes to ready himself.

Had Ali already prepared a nursery? Clearly, she would have, but it would feel wrong for him to use anything from there. Buck felt completely out of his depth. Jem had finished with her checkup, satisfied that the baby was progressing well. She placed a hand of comfort on his shoulder, which broke Buck from his thoughts.

“I have two children myself. My younger daughters' birth was traumatizing for everyone involved, but she was a fighter. She’s about to start kindergarten. I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling, Mr. Buckley. I can, however, tell you that you have helped bring a fighter of your own into the world. You have a little time to arrange everything for once you can take her home. We’ll be here, any questions or concerns you just need to ask.” She smiled, one of comfort and trust-building. “I’ll go and prepare what we need for her feed. Although, Mr. Buckley in my experience, you will complete one of the hardest parts of parenthood before you leave the hospital.”

Buck looked towards her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

The nurse just laughed. “She needs a name.”

As she disappeared, Buck turned back to the little girl. She kicked out her legs, small movements that indicated to Buck she was still there with him. He wondered if Ali had chosen any names. He wondered if she had decided to even raise their daughter - whether she had planned to give her to anyone else. Buck knew that he would never find this out. He couldn’t ask her, all he could do was ensure that their daughter was protected.

“A name?” He questioned, speaking to the little girl quietly. She moved again, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms from the outside world. “I… you know, your Aunt Maddie used to read me her books. I used to pretend to hate them, would tell her that I was old enough to read for myself. Secretly? I enjoyed the attention she gave me. Your grandparents, well, let’s just say I was a surprise.” Maddie had always been closer to their parents. Buck knew that was why he had been so drawn towards Bobby, considered him a father-figure as such. The man had been the first person to provide actual parental attention towards him, even if it had been unintentional. “They were always old, written before even our grandparents were born. Maddie loves the classics.”

He tested a few names mentally. The clocked ticked by, and before he knew it, a name had sprung to mind. For many parents, it took months of books, suggestions, and arguments to decide a moniker for their newborn. For Evan Buckley, there was only one choice. A book he would listen too, a book he would ask his sister to read more than once. About a young girl who traveled to a mysterious land, where not everything was as it seemed.

“Your Aunt Maddie always loved the idea of running to wonderland. She used to tell me we would go together, leave our parents behind.” He closed his eyes for a moment. They were not who he wanted to think about at that moment of time. “So, how about Alice?”

The newborn - who had awoken partway through the story - kicked out her legs. Buck took this has a good sign, and mentally thanked his sister for her attention as a young boy.

And thus, Alice Buckley was officially born.

( - - - )

He didn’t want to leave the hospital.

The nursing staff had helped him, as he had cared for Alice. He had held babies before, he had been around them, babysat them. It was different when the child in question was your own. Buck felt as though all prior knowledge he had somehow disappeared. He was grateful for the support, as he accepted his role as the only caregiver in Alice’s life. Her birth - although traumatic for Ali - had left no scars on the newborn. They wanted to release her, to allow Buck and his daughter to exit into the world together.

The thought terrified him.

He had nothing at home that could support a child. The apartment was only just large enough for him, let alone adding another body to the situation. Buck had switched his cell to silent after speaking to his chief that morning. The guilt he had felt bypassing his own captain still grated within his gut. Buck was adamant that he did not want his team to find out, not until he could prove that he could cope. Buck was not a complete idiot. He knew that his team still saw him as incapable at times. That had become evident during his own stupidity with the lawsuit. For once, Buck wanted to show them that he could cope in a non-work related crisis without causing them any unnecessary stress.

Buck left the room, leaving Alice with the nursing staff, as he walked towards a quiet area to make a phone call. He brought out his phone and noticed that no one had contacted him. He had only used his cell once since being at the hospital, to contact the department to ask for emergency leave. He was certain that word would have gotten to Bobby by now after he hadn’t arrived for his shift. He felt a pang of sadness that the man who had thought of as a father hadn’t tried to get in touch. At that point, he would even accept the man’s fury at the youngest member of the 118 for going over his head to get leave.

Clearly, he was no longer important, he was replaceable as he had thought when Bosko had tapped over his name.

Entering his contact list, Buck hovered over Eddie’s name.

He had missed him so much. The connection they had made after the bomb incident had been one Buck had never felt before. It had once felt as though the two could act and react without words. Buck always knew the steps Eddie would make, he would always know how to bring him back from the edge. That had cooled, he only remembered the shouting at the grocery store, how broken he had felt afterward. Then there was Christopher, and it practically broke Buck’s heart to be absent from that boy’s life. He shook his head, before scrolling once more. He hadn’t wanted to contact his sister, to burden her with another problem. However, Evan Buckley had always needed her during his childhood. Even though he was twenty-eight, even though he was now a father, he doubted that would actually go away.

No, not this time.

He put the phone away once more.

It was time for Evan Buckley to stand on his own two feet for the first time.

[drowning-in-dennor]

Answers

The gang's all here to answer your burning questions! Whether it’s the Oxenstiernas or the Wangs, or your favourite couples, they’re ready to face whatever inquiries you might have! [Written to celebrate two hundred and fifty followers.]

Question One: Literally anything about Bogden please uwu

Bogden: ...this isn’t really a question.

[Aleksander claps Bogden on the shoulder.]

Aleksander: Oh, whatever, just be glad we’re getting attention!

Bogden: Well, okay, but this is pretty weird. I mean, do they want to hear about my personal life, or my relationships, or -

[Aleksander muffles Bogden’s mouth with his hand.]

Aleksander: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS BORIS AND HIS BIRTHDAY IS THE THIRD OF MARCH ALSO HE REALLY LIKES YOGHURT AND HE REALLY LIKES ROSES AND ROSE-FLAVOURED STUFF OH AND HE HAS A PET BUNNY, IS THAT ENOUGH INFO?

Question Two: So what does the butter boy love doing the most with Henrik?

Stellan: I assume I’m ‘the butter boy’.

Henrik, sarcastically: Oh, no, I’m sure it’s Harald, or anyone but the one who stress-baked six hundred butter cookies after a final one day and mailed them to every person in the city!

[Stellan kicks Henrik under the table.]

Stellan: Well, to answer your question, I just love it when we cuddle while watching the sunset. We’re usually sitting outside, in this rocking swing we have in our front yard, watching the sky get painted all these pretty colours. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to see something so lovely with the person you care for the most.

[Henrik turns red.]

Henrik: Y-Yeah, those are really happy times. Holy fuck, I love you so much.

Question Three: What does Berwald like doing with Henrik?

Berwald: Fighting.

Henrik: Sometimes we just crack open a beer and talk about our husbands because we’re both awesomely lucky men. Then Stell has to pick me up the next morning while I’m hungover.

Berwald: Or we design some furniture together.

Henrik: We used to assemble IKEA stuff together until that time I screwed the legs of a chair on wrong and accidentally created a monster.

Question Four: Harald, how do you feel about Henrik and Stellan’s relationship?

Harald: When they got together all those years ago, I was too young to remember much, but when I got older and they got sappier, it was pretty annoying. Like, I’d be having breakfast, and they’d be across the table cuddling or something.

Stellan: Were we that bad?

[Harald crosses his arms.]

Harald: Yes, you were that bad. When you started high school it got even more annoying, because you two would be fucking like rabbits while poor me was right next door.

Henrik: Oh, yeah! We were pretty loud, huh?

Harald: Now, though, they have their own house, so I don’t really care. I get a cool brother-in-law, and Stell has a husband. Works out for both of us.

Question Five, from @kyrakira: What wouwd Stewwan wike mowwe? a pwug ow a couch owo?

[Stellan falls off his chair.]

[Henrik slams his fist on the table and bursts into laughter.]

Stellan, climbing back onto his chair: First of all, I hate how I understand what you’re saying. Second of all, I’d say the plug.

Henrik: HOLY -

Stellan: Fucking a piece of furniture is not as pleasant as it sounds, kids. Don’t try it at home.

Question Six: To Agata: sweet mother, I cannot focus; slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl, how not die?

Agata: Nothing you can do about it. You will look at your pretty girl, and you will have an internal heart attack.

[Tille giggles.]

Agata: You know how I met Tille? I was riding my bike, I saw her. She was pretty. I hit her with my bike.

Tille: You cried, you big kitty cat.

Agata: Yes, I cried. I was overwhelmed by your beauty.

Tille: Aww.

Agata: So, you see a pretty girl, you’re helpless to her charms. Too bad. I can’t help.

Question Seven: How close and warm are y'all nordicks? óuò

Henrik: ...I assume that means us?

[Harald cringes.]

Harald: What the hell is that cursed emoji?

Berwald: You mean emoticon.

Harald: Whatever.

Tino: To answer your question, we go over to each others’ houses for dinner every Friday! Sometimes we do it with Leon’s family, too.

Henrik: It’s really awesome! But when Stellan gets a little too competitive with Vicente, things can get, er, messy.

[Stellan throws up his hands.]

Stellan: The egg tart situation was one time, Henrik! ONE TIME!

Question Eight: To any of you, when was the last time you cried in front of a lot of people? 

Antonio: Gilbert made a face at me in the middle of a presentation, and I laughed so hard I cried.

Ludwig: Pochi...

[Ludwig buries his face in his hands.]

Ludwig: Pochi just tottered up to me and jumped in my lap. It was adorable.

Kiku: Then I cried because Pochi betrayed me for him.

Feliciano: Then I cried because Tama scratched me. I still have the scar.

Question Nine: Harald, out of everyone in your family, who's death would you find most disturbing and why?

[Harald’s eyes widen.]

Harald: Why would you ask something like that? What on earth is wrong with you? Any of their deaths would be disturbing, by the way. I don’t think I could ever bear to see any of them die before me.

[He sniffles and reaches in his pocket for a tissue.]

[Henrik jumps, scowling darkly.]

Henrik: Okay, who made Harald cry?

Harald: Wait —

[Stellan joins Henrik and raises a fist.]

Stellan: They’ll have hell to pay for this.

Harald: ...I love you guys.

Question Ten: Henrik and Stellan, how are your relationships with your parents?

Henrik: Oh, we get along just fine! They were a little shocked when I brought Stellan home for the first time, but not any more. 

Stellan: Between Henrik and Leon, mine have, well, resigned themselves to the fact that they most likely will not have biological grandchildren.

Henrik: We’re not sure if we’re gonna adopt just yet, but if we do, I’m sure our folks would be thrilled!

Question Eleven: To Al, Matt, Arthur, Francis, Ivan and Yao, what are your favorite memories about school?

Yao: Well, it has to be every prize-presentation ceremony at the end of each year. I went on stage every time!

Alfred: Yo, stop flexing, we know you’re a genius already.

[Arthur smiles, clearly lost in his memories.]

Arthur: My time at the school’s literature club was truly unforgettable. I was the president, if you must know, and I finally got an excuse to hide in the library all the time and read.

[Francis laughs.]

Francis: Ah, surely I thought your dearest memory would be of that one time you thought you were carrying around a copy of Pride and Prejudice, but was in reality holding a very saucy volume of Victorian er —

Arthur: HEY, ALFRED! You never told us about your favourite memory!

[Alfred jumps, accidentally smacking Yao on the shoulder. Yao gives him a withering glare.]

Alfred: Oh, yeah. It’s got to be when the soccer team won the last game of the semester, in my senior year! Dang, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

Matthew: And speaking of competitions, when I got first place in the school’s public speaking competition in grade seven, I completely lost it.

Alfred: You screamed, then hugged me so tightly I saw spots afterwards.

Matthew: I’ll never forget how it felt to win something for the first time.

Francis: My time with Yao in our school’s cooking club was magnificent. Yao, my friend, do you remember the mooncake project?

[Yao perks up.]

Yao: Yes, when we experimented to see how to make mooncakes less oily? That was fun. I still use that recipe to make mooncakes now. 

Matthew: Hey Ivan, you haven’t talked yet. What’s your favourite memory?

Ivan: My favourite memory? Let me think, now...

[Ivan taps his chin.]

Ivan: Meeting you all at the very start of the year, that was amazing.

Alfred: Oh, you big teddy bear!

Arthur: We love you too.

[The six of them collapse in a group hug. The sound of chairs falling fills the room.]

Question Twelve: Out of everyone, who was a dropout and who finished college?

Alfred: I, uh, never went to college. Just decided to go “fuck the system” and started a food cart that I still wheel around the States. If you wanna see me, look for Stars and Stripes!

Matthew: Like Francis, I survived culinary school, but unlike Francis, I only got a degree in the pastry arts.

[Francis rubs his temples.]

Francis: None of you have ever experienced pain until you’ve been through egg day. Nine hundred eggs, all gone to waste because the Chef thought they were bad!

Arthur: I got my degree in English literature at Oxford, and to this day I’m still surprised that I managed to get in.

Yao: I have a degree in medicine, but it’s pretty useless since I run my diner now. By the way, check out Wang’s if you have the time!

[Ivan rubs the back of his head sheepishly.]

Ivan: I got arrested in the middle of college. Now, I just help my sister run her store!

Feliciano: Kiku and I both went to art school! I went to culinary school with Francis after that, though.

Kiku: My student loans haunt me to this day.

Ludwig: It surprises a lot of people, but I dropped out of college while Gilbert’s the one with the degree. 

Henrik: I went to a super-obscure course, namely the textile arts. Most people don’t even know it’s a degree!

Stellan: I got a degree in creative writing at John Hopkins in the US.

Berwald: Went to trade school.

Tino: I don’t really remember much about college. I just remember a lot of coffee, screaming and complaining.

Question Thirteen: What do you love most about yourself, Henrik, Berwald and Stellan? uwu

Stellan: The next person to use “uwu” will have their spleens removed.

Berwald: Very threatening.

Henrik: Well, what I wuv mowost abowouwut mwysewelf is howow I’m able to awways pwiss owoff my bowoyfewnd!

Berwald: What.

[Stellan gets up.]

Stellan: I love you, but say “uwu” again and you’re sleeping on the couch.

Henrik: Why, uwu?

Stellan: OH, THAT’S IT —

[Henrik flees from Stellan.]

Berwald: I love that I married a sane person.

Question Fourteen: Why do you like your best friend, Tino? 3:

Tino: Oh you mean Ed? Well, we’ve been friends since forever, first of all, and we’ve stuck together no matter what! He’s helped me with homework and bullies and all that stuff since we were kids, and I’ve done the same. Best of all, he encouraged me to ask Berwald out, and thanks to him I now have an awesome husband!

[Nearby, Eduard is sobbing.]

Eduard: I love you too!

Question Fifteen: If a=b, multiply by a to get a²=ab, subtract b² to get a²-b²=ab-b², factor them (a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b), cancel a-b, and since a=b the equation is now 2b=b or 2=1; why does math exist? @the Wangs

Leon: ...what?

Vicente: I think I lost half my brain cells just by reading that.

Ling: This is bringing back trauma from school, and that question doesn’t even make sense.

Yao: I’m too old for this crap.

Leon: But to answer your question, math exists because once upon a time some asshole decided to invent numbers and make our lives difficult.

Ling: Seconded.

Vicente: Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to make dinner.

Question Sixteen: Stellan, what's the most difficult decision you've had to make to see your dreams come true?

Stellan: Ohhh, that’s a hard one. I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices to become the person I am today. But if I had to pick, it’d be picking John Hopkins over Oslo Uni, and leaving Harald and Henrik behind. It was worth it, though, since now I’m happy and successful and I can’t have asked for more.

Harald: Aww, I love you too, you bastard.

Question Seventeen: Which family does Peter belong to?

Arthur: He lives with the Oxenstiernas, which is fine with both of us.

Tino: Artie couldn’t handle Peter after his parents passed, so it started out with Ber just babysitting him. But after the two of us got married, Arthur decided to put Peter up for adoption so he could become our son!

Niklas: It was a great decision.

Berwald: What?

Niklas: I mean, it was a terrible decision because now I’m stuck with an awesome — er, annoying — brother for the rest of my life.

Question Eighteen: What do you think is the best thing about your personality, Berwald?

Berwald: Uh...

[He stares off into the distance.]

Berwald: Uhhh...

Tino: Well, I love how everyone’s so intimidated by you, but you’re so snuggly and sweet in reality! 

[Berwald appears to stop breathing.]

Berwald: Thanks.

Question Nineteen: To Alfred, Gilbert and Henrik: what’s the dumbest yet smartest thing you’ve ever done?

Alfred: Dang, that’s a hard one. I’d say the time we threw a dictionary out of the car window, just because.

Gilbert: No, the time we put a block of frozen maple syrup into Matt’s showerhead. But then we got yelled at, so maybe not.

Henrik: How about when we tried to brûlée salt and set off the fire alarm?

[The three of them consider.]

Gilbert: Yoo, what about the frying pan thing?

Henrik: Oh, riiiiight, the frying pan thing!

Alfred: So basically, we put a frying pan on the heart for too long and it melted. Then it turned out that the frying pan was made with unsafe material! That’s kinda smart, I guess.

Question Twenty: Which one of you (anyone ig) has a choking fetish?

[The entire room erupts into chaos.]

Harald: OH MY GOODNESS!

Leon: Who the hell asked this!?

Alfred: You know what? Y’all need Jesus.

[Someone hits the camera and it switches off.]

...

A/N: Yes I know I’m very unfunny but I hope this was at least the tiniest bit fun to read

[thewolfisawake]

The Tales series if you haven't gotten it already

Favorite character:

Undeniably goes to Yuri and Velvet. What can I say? I’m into the dark-haired protagonists that ‘aren’t like the others.’ I can get onboard with why they come to the conclusions they do even if I don’t think it’s write. With Yuri, I admire the ability to do when others cannot. And can’t deny, he made me laugh the most with his sense of sarcasm and panache. Plus that voice...Troy Baker, they did you dirty. Meanwhile with Velvet I was like ‘yes, let’s be married in this quaint little town together’ in the beginning. She was just cute. Then it became attraction of ‘I don’t give a damn what happens to this world so long as I get what I want’ and ferocity. 

Least Favorite character:

Emeraude. Like what the fuck is your problem lady? You’re getting jealous of a child. Your feelings towards someone should be directed towards that person, not abusing some third-party that doesn’t even understand what you two have going on. 

Cumore. Fuck him too. For a side character that you don’t even really fight, he’s a real ass that his death was catharsis. Pure catharsis. There was no a single moment that he showed any redemption. He was a cruel bastard that held no regard for human life. He was willing to make excuses for anyone under him to get in trouble. He lied to people to enslave them and work them to death. He dragged people into the desert to look for an impossible item and left them without resources to die. Fuck him so much. He might’ve been cartoonishly evil compared to some not nice guys but those actions translate to atrocities. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Selfish Coexistence (Basically the Berseria Party) - Their relationships seem so hard to define to me as they all use each other for various reasons. They also seem to develop care through their selfishness and all of the either are like *shrug* guess we’re doing this now or ‘what is this I’m feeling?’ ‘emotions?’ ‘disgusting.’ There’s an understood protection amongst all of them and then a fierce rationalization for their action rather than saying ‘because I like you okay!’ They’re very smart yet they’re all dumbasses and I love them all.

Ludju - You know what’s better than one adorkable dumbass? Two adorkable dumbasses. I like Ludger and Jude’s relation better than any I have unlocked during the story. Jude by nature is very caring but it just is different with Ludger? Main thing I can note is that Jude touches Ludger a lot. Like a firm, ‘I’m right here’ shoulder touch. A nudge in the arm. Catching when about to faint. And I just don’t see Jude do the same with anyone in his party in either game.  I just find their interactions from the extra scenes are really cute.

 Velvet/Niko - “If you were a boy, I think I’d be in love.” Gurl she don’t have to be a boy to kiss fall in love. Shipping a Main Character with an NPC? Is it madness? Absolutely. But I had feelings about that from the very beginning. Like this could’ve been so fucking sweet. Could’ve had it all. And then the Advent happened. 

Alvin/Presa - Oh man. Ooooh man. This was just a curiosity on the way of Tale’s of Xillia’s path. Like it was a lady that lent to Alvin’s skeevy or ladykiller vibe he gave off. And it was like was she just a jilted one-time or something else? And the answer seemed like ‘something else’ but didn’t know what. It was a little ‘wonder how that went...’ Then you do Tales of Xillia 2 and I thought I was wrecked. Because it reframes so much of their interaction to a really sad relationship that fell apart because Alvin was a coward. 

Flynn/Yuri/Judith - Haha! Didn’t expect the end part of this one did you? I think everyone knew I liked Fluri. Like their dynamics are so interesting. But I really do enjoy Judy being involved. I’m really sad that Judy and Flynn don’t get much interaction even in the PS3 version but I don’t find it hard for them to get along. But I do usually see that more times it’s Flynn and Judy dating Yuri and their relationship changes over time.  They can scrap together, they can travel together, and not needing as much talking to get what anyone means. I find it hard to describe this one but I feel it. 

Character I find most attractive:

Yuri and Velvet are like the reflexive thoughts. But I actually really also like Jude and Judy. I mean look at this cute little nerd, he’s adorable! And then there’s hot elf lady that she could kick me in the face and I’d thank her. In general you can probably guess my type from those four.

Character I would marry:

Probably Yuri. I’m sorry that this is my answer to so many but he is like my type to a T and it’s just ruined so many standards for me. Like a funny guy that is good at cooking (and has a sweet tooth!) and can go venturing with? What else is there? I mean yeah there’s the hair and voice but that’s like given. But yeah, I’m a basic bitch with that.

Character I would be best friends with:

Eizen, if that’s a bit surprising. Sure he’s a bit of an edgelord but I feel like I’ve never left it so he’s already doing better than I. But I like the idea of sailing on the ship with him there, probably not gonna be able to let me struggle for that long. He’s funny with a dry sense of humor to me and also he’s a low-key nerd that knows a lot of things and likes finding new and interesting things. So yeah. 

And as much as I give shit about him, I actually think I would be friends with Sorey. He’s the kind of excitable that makes others excited and that’s kind of what I do. So we’d kind of excite each other. And so long as it’s not spelunking, I’m down for going exploring. 

a random thought:

What defenses occur with the end of blastia? Barriers were what repelled monsters from most of the inhabited areas in Terca Lumireis. Dahngrest and Zaphias look to have fortresses that can hold back most land beasts. But there are other places. What stops the monsters now? Will they go towards more mana based works? 

Also, someone also mentioned, does ANYONE know how to do medical work? Like actually patching up injuries? How to care for someone in sickness? Healing artes were what were used! They can’t use blastia anymore! What happens now?

Can there be a history of how things changed from Berseria to Zestiria? Mainly the shifting of how malevolence works from turning people to reflect their sinister nature to straight up monsters with no sense? How the Shepherd thing went to include the malak as much as it does. The change from malak to seraphim. Just...how did we geeeetttttt heeeerrreeeeee.

An unpopular opinion:

I fucking hate that I had to be told from other friends that actually could find the material or read the fucking wiki to understand the dynamics of the Kresnik family. Ludger has a LOT of fucking baggage that we don’t even get to hear anything about! Partially because he’s silent and partially because ‘oh he was young so he conveniently forgot?’ And a lot of it was important to the last half of the story! That’s bullshit! And even further bullshit is that there was no reason they couldn’t have found time to put it in the game but they chose not to. 

Tales can’t make a fun last level to save their lives. I haven’t enjoyed a single final level in any of the games I’ve played. I don’t mind doing puzzles for it but straight up spiraling branches full of dead ends is frustrating. ESPECIALLY FUCK XILLIA 2′s! Randomly generated based off those in the party and then you can’t even see when a path is not truly there so you can follow the path and then all of suddenly blank ground, meaning dead end you have back up and retrace another path. And then like Berseria’s made me feel nauseous from the ‘ethereal’ look it was going for. And just made it hard as fuck to see. And more of this awful tower climbing. I just...mmmmmmm, I will probably always enjoy the game until the final level exists. I swear.

My Canon OTP:

Uuuuuuhhhhhh I don’t think I have one. 

My Non-canon OTP:

Most protags x happiness?

Most Badass Character:

Don Whitehorse. He was like definition of like ‘stubborn old man’ but man was he cool. He was staunch in the honor of the guilds under his control and was proud of what he and other had built up with their own hands. Also you don’t often see a man willing to sacrifice his life to right a wrong done by his own. 

Most Epic Villain:

Gaius. Like me and my friend were like ‘what the fuck’ when we were co-oping Xillia together. Like this was a king that meant business! Mhm. .

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Most of the pairings are fine to me. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Sorey. I’m sure I’ve gone on this so many times but I really hated that they kept alluding to him having to make hard decisions but whenever one was brought to him, someone else took it for him. Like if his job is that important and it’s expected to make these choices, THEN LET HIM MAKE THEM. I was so angry over that. I spent the entire game waiting for when they’d do a major point where Sorey had no choice but to step up. 

Favourite Friendship:

Alvin & Elize - I really like how much they have both grown from each other. And how when Alvin broke her trust that he had to live with her mistrust and work to earn it back. Their friendship had uneasiness that seemed hopeful at the end of the first game and turned to just banter and teasing by the second. Growth baby, it’s wonderful.

Character I most identify with:

Mmmmm, probably Ludger. Look at all that debt. Can’t do nothing but cry over it.

Character I wish I could be:

Yeah, no. JRPG rules means everyone has some fucked up shit in their past or coming for them. I’m fine over here.

[ofthemuses]

Area 11 Sentence Meme; from all their released albums

All the Lights In The Sky (2013)

i. vectors

One day I will find you  I saw that you were lonely too  You reached out and you took me I repressed that time Everything that I forgot, I see it clearly  can’t you see that you’re losing your mind A shot to the head leaves it all behind I’ll tear you apart Reach out your hands to catch me reach out your hands and you tear me apart But we are simply killing time I wish I’d see inside your mind I wish I’d seen inside you Almost the same, but not enough Never forgiven, but still in love

ii. euhpemia

Memories of fallen dreams and all those that have died. Demons are possessing me. I feel my hate take flight. I'm choking on my own words and I'm scared of backing down the hope within us all is up in flames Twisted by my warring conscience. The situation's pushing onwards. This can't be, was this me? I think I've lost control. I caused this, I forced this, Can I continue on? I caused this, I forced this, I caused this! Betrayed by trust, forever left to scream. Oh hold me closely and die in my arms, then take this secret with you. I became your puppet master This could fuel The Revolution! This could be my last solution! And all good victories come with a price. Just take my secret with you.

iii. knightmare / frame

What is life but a burden for me? All this anger, burning inside but buried deep One step forward and two to the side, every single time I fall asleep and I feel I'm falling Nightmare comes without warning I can't seem to sleep  In my dreams I feel I'm running towards her/his shining light She/he shines for me Just like glass I saw right through Something I couldn't see until I changed my point of view I cannot let you go inside of me, the will to change the world Can a mask be the face of reason? You will answer, to the pieces left behind Well I watched her/him die in your arms Freed but they'll never understand

iv. tokyo house party

I know that this will never work out So it shouldn't even start Cause I'm just a kid at heart And you know that it's such a waste Cause I hate that bitter taste and your bittersweet embrace I feel this has gone to my head I'll never drink again But fuck it, I don't care I don't know what you came here for This is where we are from (The town where nothing goes on) Waiting for our own special moment to die I got lost to find myself I wanna be with you tonight Cause everything's gone; it's been wiped out I feel a change in the pace I know I should run and I should fight But the look in your eyes: I could die here tonight Fear of failure, we're moving so slow

v. shi no barado

I saw your face in the LED's It's something that I can never repay, but I will try anyway. I sent a message I know you'd see Now fate led you down a path to me You're all I ever wanted you can use me, you can kill me My body will be a fortress I will keep you safe from pain My losses are your gains Together we can burn this to the ground, rebuild it into something right I'm not afraid and I'm not alone because you're with me in my dreams I won't give up on this perfect love

vi. cassandra pt. 2

Although it doesn't really matter now You use me, and I use you I'm your savior, you're my muse The best friend that you been to me but I wanna be your enemy You want a reaction You wear a red dress when you're in a bullfight You're drawing attention to your double life In dreams, I'm coming to find you and when I wake I want anyone else. 'Cause I don't love you, It's what I'm telling myself I’m hiding from you, ‘cause we are the same Wait, just wait for me and I'll come around My best friend that I've never seen That's turned you into my enemy No, it's all in my mind I feel I should save myself before this gets too real

vii. the strays

I'd still cheer for you ten years down the line Time stepped away from me Stray from this boring dream What must it be like with your world alight? How could I stay here and rust when I'm set to explode? You can outrun everything but the debts that you owe I'm numb from the distance If it's just the bored asking this kind of thing, where do we fit in? Take what you want from it We're the last ones left Get the others and cut to the next Scene To be truly free Freedom comes not from, but through me Do you remember when the stars were much higher? You would try to count them all But you grew tired - tired - tired

viii. dreams & reality

Dreams... are realities. You mean so much to me I can't forget the way, the choice that we made that day. Is it worth the risk that we take? Waiting and hoping from the side-lines But this is our moment, it's our chance to shine. 'Cause this feels better than the best thing 'Cause we are stronger than anything We've grown from all the things we've been through, And they couldn't break us if they wanted to. Your smile is brighter than the lights in the skies wont you tell me what is real? Lets write our names in history, Let's make these dreams reality,

ix. heaven-piercing giga drill

you came and dug me up into a world full of violence. So many faces, so many trials. They won't stop our evolution. Who do you think we are? Fight against your execution. Trust me and we'll fly, not fall. Tip the balance to risk it all. Together we can go so far. All the lights in the sky are stars. It follows everywhere I go. It carries the hope of humanity, and everything we know. Believe in me, who believes in you.

x. bōsōzoku symphonic

There's three parts to love, or so I believe. There's a part of you you lose, and another you receive. Here I break with the concept, though it's central to the piece. Leave my mark on the canvas, that only you can see. I deferred my happiness, for loneliness and time. But once I'm where I wanna be, you'll be far behind. And the chains that pull me down, slacken off when you're around. And it's comforting to know I'll rip out all the hooks from my skin so I can grow. Sometimes I disagreed, just to hear you scream. You were right, but I needed you to give emotion back to me. I'm not leaving you, I'm not leaving you!

Underline (2014)

i. are you listening?

All aboard this sinking ship No business here it's just relationships Should this mean more to me? Just join the tribe and feel accepted But cool don't come for free The rope that pulled me from the pit now hangs around my neck Is this the clue you wanted? Too cryptic for the rest Play the part of the victim if it puts your mind at ease Put all the blame on me So what you feel, is it nostalgia or love? Tell me now, are you really listening? When everybody tells you to stop, and that you’re never good enough; tell me now, are you really listening? Reach out for help, and she lets you down So gild your pockets, we'll watch you drown  Cause this means more to me It's hard when all I see Now we take control We fade into hindsight  Can this be realized?

ii. in the blind

I redesign, I realign. I redefine, and yet resign. My only hope: to feel. And when I phased out the "privileged" and the "purpose" I realized that art can never true be separated That should define who I will never be. Sorry. Cause this is the new way Still spinning cycles in my mind Hold me back and keep me down! Drop the weights, accept my fate, and trigger the explosion. Now keep the faith as illusions break and we'll show you something real. And when I reach out into event horizons will there be light and sound, or will it be just me?

iii. override (a)

Willing and wishing to break This won't be over so soon You'll claw yourself out of the womb Are you willing to die? To be born in the spotlight? I won't let you drown Are you willing to die? To be something? We patiently wait your return Rejecting your pitiful life You'll crawl on your hands and your knees You'll feast on the fear you receive And here in the alter you'll give your life for a reason to live Are you ready to die? Are you ready to die? To be more than they say you are? You'll be a mistake The child of the void and the ghost in the tape Can the ego you've sculpted endure the escape? I am willing tonight. I am willing to die to be something; trigger the override

Modern Synthesis (2016)

i. override [C]

Lay the new foundations; reprise Strange are the things that will come around Return to the question, I'm willing to die If this is real and this is anticipation Know it in your mind, hear it once and now you bear the load Are you ready for life? Make a stand in afterglow

ii. the contract

You’ve spent a lifetime locked in the same mindset You break the contract, and smile away your debt I play for closure, through the fear and the thrill of the fight Move a little bit closer, ‘cause you’re in for a jagged night I close my eyes; a toxic calling Just let it resonate, we call it suffering We know just who to trust this time I want you to give me what I need Lay waste to your beliefs, rebuild yourself for me I want you to come alive again I feign obsession, and abbreviate my views You're my possession, until I'm done with you I want you to feel as I feel I want you; submit yourself to me Your body and your mind; give it willingly Just sign the contract

iii. watchmaker

Serve or break the patterns that would be Middle child of eternity The creeping vines of anomie I never wanted to believe I never asked if I could stay Switch the pressures you relieve Sketching parallels to understand why I can't share your love I’m only building what I meant to do so many lives ago

iv. versus

I dream of it; am I a psycho? Watching you burn nothing else feels this perfect to me “Hands in the air”; salute or surrender? We adapt, mutilate, replicate and survive But choose a side The truth, the war; the rise, the fall The virus in our heads that infects us all Do you need it once more?  Can you remember what it is we’re dying for? (Fighting for?) Little soldier, little girl/boy who used to love this fucking world To love, to despise: such a fine line The hardest strikes always land when hands are tied The virus in our heads infects, manipulates our thoughts

v. processor

I took a chance to fly I want no role in your altercation I feel panic arise as rhetoric voices are feeding back again Blocking out vitriolic accusations: Was I listening? Because I want to be better on the inside I want to be better on the outside I fall asleep in the vestige I once called my home I pray for you, abide with the hopeless Regretting the choice but I can't turn away The modern synthesis compels me to start again I will have my way, I told you, I told you, I told you As I dispersonalise I taste a real life far from the pacifist you believe I exemplify I am the fury, I am hypocrisy The day I take control. The day you'll believe in me The path back home, the path I'll show you The path back home, where you'll wait for me, wait for me

vi. red queen

I said I don't mind, but you've touched a nerve The way you frame it, well, I got all I deserved Breathe deep and comfort the disturbed In the cave you fear what would you find? We played our hands together You lose me in your blood chemistry So we'd better try to match her/his speed Toast to the red queen/king and all she has seen Is it time to drink at your table? We can only wait and watch for so long Where you fall is not where you belong Unify behind false enemies Down other lines we would have been the same Beauty fades but still my charm deceives This night is shared and so we use each other ‘cause misery loves company And so it goes again A wasted day to vie for my affection Soon you'll come undone Can't fake a smile so they draw it on

vii. angel lust

how far did you deviate? The bridge collapsed but you took the stone From the ash an altar raised, you rebuilt your home And cynics they will try to tempt and change our minds We'll keep our faith alive, we'll raise our voices And scream it from our hearts: God loves her/his children we wait to receive a sign and the scraps of truth of what we believe The passion, the pain, our bodies ache, we cry your name

viii. the life of a ghost

Living the life of a ghost, there is no comfort for the mind Some sights we've tried to leave behind Always looking backwards down the road I will retain composure Lost in thoughts of where I am Stay 'til dawn, begin anew? With all honesty I want to be selfless To be human, but I'm beat and I'm worn-though I'm lost tonight I'm an ember, will you take my story? Pull back the curtain and walk towards the truth There is no comfort for the mind

ix. after the flags

Come on son do your country proud! Lead us down to the ocean and wash our hands of campaigns for the self-assured now Fading white in surrender and weary from the beating sun that blinds you Take a hit for catharsis Take a hit for them all After the flags they're selling off the wall I wanna die for a reason I wanna kill for a cause The fall won't kill but it's gonna hurt do you watch just to wince at this? we have been misled Straighten out your fiction As means to ends and ends to meaning guide you After the flags I'm nobody at all If I could reach you with reason You set us up for a fall After the flags you're nobody at all

x. nebula

This is my suffering, stuttering the words As all I can see is you Hey there you lost boy/girl, just look at what they've done to you They've poisoned the well of your mind but you'll make it through I'm falling to the call of you To love just an action, we overplay and overdo But now, there's no one beside me They've fallen behind

xi. panacea and the prelogue

Wait inside we'll talk a while I didn't mean to let the years go by Have we come to terms with the lesson that our fathers learned? Everything goes away I'd follow you, but not this time I'm sorry that I let you down, let you down, a lifetime ago I wanna say to all I leave behind, and to those I'll never find. That I need you to understand, understand, you're not on your own. What you value, is it worth the time? The only melodies that I could ever call mine were friendship and lust Will I feel absolved at the moment when we have it solved? Still it's never enough Lines fade out, but you illuminate the path back home, the path you've shown me

all your friends / new magiks / everybody gets a piece (2018)

i. all your friends

Habits tend to crystallize Did you waste it in the dark? Why were you sure it was real? you let all your friends tell you how to feel The archetypes; the ideal will soon embrace you when you let yourself heal Who are we to cauterise bleeding hearts that synchronise? Did he/she waste you in the dark? Choose your friends just to canonize you, as you let them fantasize

ii. new magiks

I'm watching the mirror crack to face my addiction This all feels a little strange, (A life fearing fiction) I better step outside It's all fine, from the shoreline The weight crushing down my heart, you don't want it, you don't wanna know A head full of dying stars, the shoulders that bear the load The wave crashes down on my heart You don't wanna know My mind's a rogue nation Just look how we weaponise carnal accusation It's all fine, a drop in the skyline Make it hurt Percolate emotion Boys/Girls lost to the ocean drown You were the bright newcomer I fucked you up that summer I didn't know, you let me know my mind is loaded

iii. everybody gets a piece

In time you'll grow, I fucking hope I'm outside looking in at all the time we're putting in Think I know what it means I won't say the right things just to open doors Don't waste your time in the studio I've been told to beg, steal and borrow I'm told it's not the way to go Nobody listens to the radio Everybody gets a piece Did you honestly say it might have been me? But all this while did you think of me, you know All this while, we were pure potential energy, dreaming Don't ask, you'll never get You never asked so you never got nothing Did you get all you wanted from me? You don't ask so you'll never receive Can't lose when you're playing for free