#I cannot believe i'm writing headcannon posts I haven't done that since fucking Steven Universe

[theladymisandry]

"I want to be someone's someone"

"I want someone to want me."

Someone, specifically someone. He doesn't say Blitz. He doesn't say you, because Stolas wants love but he doesn't know what romantic love is. He wants a real relationship but he has no idea what it truly entails. Stolas's only frame of reference is his transactional relationship with Blitz, his books, and his rom coms, and all of those are about as far from reality as you can get.

What's brilliant about this scene is that once again they're perfect foils of each other. Blitz veiled, in a room surrounded by an ocean of experience. This overflowing morgue of ex lovers and ex friends and ex flirts. The literal proof of a life as someone wanted that he literally cannot fathom, because as a child he was never wanted except as a means to an end. So he used people with the assumption they were using him. That way he could never get hurt when he fucked it all up they eventually stopped.

Whereas Stolas has nothing behind him, he's never been asked to dance before. Has never had someone who wanted him. He doesn't know how to discern what is good wanting and bad wanting, what is using and being used, he doesn't know how to say no, because being asked is such a novelty. Being asked to a party he doesn't want to go to but attends anyway, being asked to dance. Being kissed without being asked and kissing back anyway. What happens when he's asked to bed by someone who wants him, even if he isn't entirely sure he wants them back?

Blitz doesn't know how to say yes, and Stolas doesn't know how to say no.

They're both not ready yet. They both need to learn how to love.