#I can't imagine being a grad student in the lab

[frumpytaco]

Yesterday in a conversation with an undergrad, my PI mentioned that he was planning to go to the university’s marine station today to sample seagrasses. This was my first time hearing about this and I (naively I guess?) assumed that he had been planning this all beforehand. I asked if I could go if it wasn’t too much trouble (I sit in front of a computer all day and I miss the grass) and he said yes so I was like cool great. THEN at 4:30 in the afternoon, aka 30 minutes before I have to run to catch my train he was like “hey can you find a rental car for tomorrow?” and I was so fucking speechless all I could say was “yeah sure” and frantically tried to find a place, none of which were both located nearby and had pickup times that we needed. But I found one. And I couldn’t send him a link to it because the stupid rental website was storing all the work I did in the cache or whatever (idk I’m not a scientist) so I literally had to hand. him. my. computer. so he could pay for the car. AND THEN I realized wait this is an all day trip should I bring lunch because idk what the culture is in this lab (as if there’s any lab culture whatsoever but that’s a broader issue) /university and I asked him as I was leaving if we were stopping somewhere and he was like “oh food that’s a good point haha” (!!!!!!) and then I thought oh wait what about gear, like does the marine station have boots or waders we could rent? what’s the tide supposed to be like tomorrow? what sites are we going for? are we targeting Phyllospadix or Zostera because they live in super different habitats and require different sampling gear? And he had no answers to these questions. Also the low low tide today is -0.1’. Also he told me that Phyllospadix is not a seagrass, which, it literally fucking is and he had to pull up Wikipedia to check. So then he sent an email to everyone asking me to provide logistical information for tomorrow and I replied with as little snark as I could saying things about what to expect from the habitats and where to find the grasses. I realized I forgot to mention that nearest location of Zostera is in a national estuarine research reserve and I would be very surprised at this point if he’s considered permitting.

But you know what the best part about being tasked with planning a trip I didn’t know about the day before? Since I wasn’t planning on coming until less than 24 hours before, I can back out just as easily. You’re welcome for my help. What were you going to do if I hadn’t expressed interest in coming?



[ellecdc]

a while ago someone sent me an ask/prompt/request about university professor!marauders x fem!reader who was a bit younger (not necessarily their student or even a student [but also maybe their student if I was feeling up for it]) and I had it saved and tried to play around with it a little bit but couldn't really formulate anything so scrapped it - but I thought I'd share with you what sort of brain rot I came up with:

So I imagined all four marauders working as faculty members at the same university and being friends. Prof. Moony worked in the English department (obviously), I could totally see James teaching kinesiology, and Sirius I had a hard time with because I could totally see him teaching astronomy at Hogwarts (since he knows all the constellations and stories, and the moon cycles like the back of his hand), but can't really see him doing that in a muggle setting? and then I though ~French~, working in the languages ;)

and then we have our Prof. Wormy who I see working in like, biochemistry or something of similar lines? and then we have his grad student - PhD candidate working on her thesis etc. Long hours in the labs and the boys seeing her one day when they come looking for Peter and just being entranced with her.

they think she's so smart/clever (which ticks Pete off something huge because she's working in his lab lol), she's obviously gorgeous, and just the sweetest thing

everyone finds it very odd that an English, a language, and a physical science professor keep finding their way's over to the biochem labs, and always finding excuses to be in the department of chemistry faculty room etc but no one really says anything. Peter completely makes fun of them for it and tries to ban them from his lab "she's the best sodding candidate I've had working in this lab, boys; do not ruin this for me". they obviously don't listen.

anyways that's my brain rot okay thanks byeeeeee

[farolero-posting]

Judging by your reposts of my posts you like Cedric huh?

Go listen to Moremoney - Pilot (YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN BELIEVE ME)

Also I think Ced owns this shirt.

Also what do you think TWM and Cedric's relationship would look like. This is the work of his Father's life, and it, in fact, took it away in the end- So i imagine it being very complicated to say the least😭 like, i think Cedric knows it's not TWM's fault but he still feels very bad about it all-

[Start ID: A dark grey T shirt that reads "engineering? I'm engi-nearing my limit" in different expressive fonts of red orange yellow and white letters. End ID.]

Alright first of all cool song!!! Give Cedric daddy issues!! I see it. I think in the end Cedric is forgiving but he must have a lot of mixed feelings, because the Author, while a loving guy, could not have possibly also had that much time to dedicate to Cedric, or any of his other children, for that matter.

Now. Regarding TWM... You know how I said Cedric is somewhat detached? He avoids talking about the old world, unless pushed by Niko. He avoids the thought of living in a simulation and insists on that, almost like a coping mechanism. I think some of it may be grief from this lost world, but some of it may be his own distance towards TWM and what it can cause on the code. After all, he's likely equally as vulnerable as everyone else to the squares.

It's uncertain whether TWM directly provoked the Author's death, considering he "left on his own terms", but symbolically? It may have, yeah. The Author invested his last years working on this project that's meant to last beyond himself and his world, but in turn most likely sacrificed time and opportunities to live himself. It's a selfless act, but that doesn't mean his children don't need him to be present too. The younger you headcanon Cedric as the worse this is. (night has placed him as grad school student age, but many do consider him a teen). Cedric may try to avoid thinking about this and making this connection, but it would be a low blow to face any grief he has about his father.

And to add even more fuel, because of the Solstice run, Cedric likely has trauma from the squares and TWM's influence on them. He has to actively run from them. They damage his flying machine, they cause the labs to collapse, they destroyed his brother's body. But unlike him, Cedric can't just replace himself if he gets hurt. He may put on a brave face and be proactive to get things done (let's face it he carries the Solstice run), but this still has to impact him in some way.

On the World Machine's side I imagine that it has mixed feelings on the trio as a whole. In a way it's thanks to their efforts that it could be tamed, but according to Rue it also spent so long thinking of them as not real, and to have this view challenged has to be a big thing to get used to.

[coffee-keith]

This is long rant and super specific to me but I feel like I need to write about this somewhere.

I finally got some decent sleep last night! I tried a new med and got insomnia from it so I was only sleeping a few hours a night for a few days there with extremely high anxiety while it got out of my system. Now that I've slept I feel better but man I'm still very anxious. It's hard to tell what's from this episode and what's more valid. Maybe "valid" isn't the right word. Idk. I'm trying to figure out if I fucked up by accepting this job offer or if it's just from this episode. I 100% started job searching too early for several reasons. Context: I'm a physics graduate student, and I started applying for jobs (mainly this job) before I had started my thesis and before I was done with my analysis. I was having a hard time with the collaboration and my situation and needed to think about the possibility of getting out and doing something meaningful with my life. My sort-of-boyfriend at the time (hard to describe other than maybe a situationship?) is another grad student in the collaboration and he was incredibly motivated to get out and graduate. So I kind of got dragged along in that desire to get out but without the confidence or the drive (or lack of anxiety) to commit to long hours. There was an opportunity that arose with a group at a national lab that my friend is now staff scientist at. It's in space science and super cool and one step to the side of what I want to do and would be an amazing way to get into the field. I applied and they flew me out for an interview and it went really well and they gave me a verbal offer. This was in February. And now it's been a game of me being optimistic and giving a time estimate, then realizing I am not progressing as I should, then being like "ooops sorry I need more time" and then them being like "we'd like you as soon as you can, but whatever you need". And now that has gone on until I'm up to the point where I'm not sure if I can make it on the latest start date possible in the offer I signed. I'm trying to remind myself that I never "lied" to them. I was just excited and optimistic. But maybe still did start to early. And honestly I'm scared I'd never be able to finish the thesis even with infinite time. And some of my peers are like "yeah, I had to work for 8+ hours a day on my thesis with no weekends" and I literally can't do that. My brain won't let me. I'm feeling so very frozen. I have a very strong shame response and I'm feeling an incredible amount of shame imagining that I need to make this group restart their postdoc search. It feels personal because I was recommended by my friend and I would be failing him personally. And also the shame of failing in general. I should reach out to my support people but I'm just so frozen and scared. There's also the problem that with what I have written so far, I feel almost like I'm plagiarizing because I've been looking at the thesis of two of my peers that have already been submitted. And it's so hard for me to not be like "what they are doing is correct so I need to do something similar". I also feel like there's so many imposter syndrome hurdles I need to overcome that my peers probably didn't. (I'm the only grad student on this thesis that isn't a cis man). I want to understand everything but it feels like I'm copying and not actually understanding. I know I need to talk to my advisor and my other contacts and not make any big decisions right now. But my brain is just screaming at me that I need to get this pressure off so I am not so frozen. And the most direct way to do that (other than dropping out completely and never writing my thesis) is by getting rid of this timeline all together. This is probably the lack of sleep and anxiety, but I'm so tempted to undo the offer (before I waste even more moths of the group's time), go home for a month and be sad, and then just restart and take another year or something. Again, that would be a bad decision and I won't let myself make any bad decisions right now, but I just wish this amazing job offer didn't feel like a death sentence.

[referenceable-ramblings]

I think a big contributor of toxic academic workplace culture is continuing generation students trying to go to graduate school and recreate the hyperbolic romanticization of their parents experience in grad school. You grow up, you spend 20 years hearing: "Graduate school is the worst time ever. It's gonna be the best time of your life, but the worst at the same time. I studied 18 hours a day. I gained 50 pounds. We would be at the bar learning quantum mechanics until 3 a.m every day. I didn't see my mom at christmas for six years"

...

Like imagine being a first generation student, you get into grad school, you're so excited. You go to your PI, and he's like, "Here's your lab schedule. You're gonna work 65 hours a week for the next four weeks" And you go ask someone in your cohort because, like, you don't know. You're a first-gen. Like, is this normal? Like, am i supposed to do this? Like, should i push back against this? And that guy's like, "that's what grad school was like, get ready" He might quit right. Like he might be like, "I can't work 65 hours a week, that's impossible" Or even worse, he might do it. He might think, "Oh that's what grad school is like" and just suffer for six years because some guy is trying to romanticize his parents education.

Angela Collier (acollierastro) in First generation graduate students (2021)

[unopenablebox]

we have a fucking Institute Research Retreat out in fucking vermont coming up which is just an unimaginable nightmare for so many reasons but especially:

our senior postdoc feels very strongly that we should drive out to the approximate retreat location a day early, HIKE SOME MOUNTAIN TRAILS, *CAMP OVERNIGHT*, AND THEN HIKE THE REST OF THE WAY TO THE RETREAT, where we will then give poster presentations that same day. distances and trail and required speed are all unspecified except for assurances that the trail he has in mind is “pretty easy” and “just a couple hours”.

(you may remember that it was BARELY TWO MONTHS AGO that my lab  went on a mandatory hiking retreat that involved a hike of roughly triple the difficulty and length we had been told to expect. over the course of this i was put under intense social & professional pressure to hike far beyond my physical comfort or ability, required to disclose extensive personal medical information in order to justify being unable to hike as fast or as far as the rest of the group, repeatedly had to negotiate for being allowed to be in a slower group or travel less distance than everyone else, and still ended up doing SEVEN HOURS OF STEEP INCLINE HIKING which left me with a significant, painful hip injury that took three weeks to mostly recover.)

other people in the lab have pushed back on this plan, but only the overnight camping bit, on the grounds that it would be too unpleasant to do without a shower the day of the retreat. they are still in negotiations for what would be a good alternative plan to fit in the hiking.

if my advisor had not been by far the primary driver of the high-speed, long distance hiking in trip #1, i would consider going to her with something like:

“as you know, i have physical limitations that make hiking difficult for me. after our last hiking trip, i was injured and in a lot of pain and it made it more difficult for me to get things done. i had enormous difficulty doing anything else that same day. as such, i’m worried that going on a hike right before the retreat will keep me from being able to participate in it or present my work effectively. since it seems like there’s not a good middle ground between my ability to hike, especially in a way that guarantees i won’t be injured at all, and the rest of the lab’s preferred hiking settings, distance, and pace. as such, i don’t think i can participate in the hike and still be engaged and productive at the retreat afterward. obviously i want to be an active member of the lab and participate in lab activities, but it’s not possible for me to do the hike followed by the research retreat.”

this seems reasonable, you know, lots of appeals to Wanting to Be My Best At Work, except that during the last hike i had to explain to her the concept that not all physical limitations can be overcome by willpower. so. uh. not sure if this is a reasonable thing to attempt or if i will be preemptively announcing myself to be a quitter and not a team player. truly don���t know what to do. maybe i’ll just die

[rootin-tootin-cum-shootin]

Inosuke College AU 

Word count: 1,350

Major: Kinesiology 

Minor: Psychology 

Sports: Judo, Rugby

Clubs: Tanjiro signed him up for a ceramics club, and he goes only to try and one up him (Which is not the point of the club at all smh) but he attends every meeting without fail.

He's that dude that walks into the lecture hall wearing the most outrageous and eye-catching outfits

You just can't help but see him and instantly know what he's like to talk to 

Neon orange athletic shorts with a hawaiian shirt so stereotypical it makes your eyes twitch in displeasure 

Add some burkenstock sandals worn with mismatched socks and you have Inosuke

Just by looking at him you know he is quite the personality to work with

And he is, but he is intelligent and definitely pulls his weight in projects

Will chastise his classmates if they get injured while doing the more active labs 

But he does that while tending to their injuries so you know he cares about their wellbeing

It's quite sweet of him! 

Well it would be if every 3rd word wasn't a swear

That doesn't mean he has terrible grades though.

No he actually does quite well in his courses and there's one simple reason as to why;

he's genuinely hard working 

Which surprises nearly everyone who sees him.

But that only makes him work harder

You see Inosuke decided to actually get an education for the simple reason that everyone assumed he was too stupid to do anything with his life

He originally wanted to do Zoology but then he realized that he has too much energy, which ends up scaring off most animals 

Which defeats the whole "study of animals" part of Zoology 

Of course his Mom was in his corner despite this, really only wanting her son to be happy and find his own success

So he wouldn’t make the same mistakes she did in her youth

Inosuke actually got advice from his mom which helped him settle on Kinesiology as his degree

But once he settled on his degree he was set in stone

His pseudo-step dad offered to pay for his schooling but Inosuke said "I would rather swallow a truck whole than be indebted to you"

And then took out a shit ton of loans to pay for everything 

Which only amused his pseudo-dad and made his mom worry a tad

He manages to work a part time job flipping burgers over the summer which was enough to let him pay for his books and meal plan outright for the first year

And yet despite seeing him bust his ass to be able to go to school people still tried to dissuade him from doing anything further with his life

Which only made him work harder

His whole attitude towards school is "man this sucks but also fuck anyone and anything that tries to make me quit: No You" 

Inosuke even takes pride in the dropped jaws that come from seeing him at the top of his courses

The boy has never once gotten lower than an 80% on an assignment 

He does best in his statistics course simply because both Tanjiro and Zenitsu are also enrolled in that block 

Inosuke is competitive 

In his other courses nobody stirs up that aggressive competitive spirit like Tanjiro and Zenitsu do in their shared Stat course

And with the pair of them around him, Inosuke feels the urge to out do both to the point where he likes to imagine their feelings of inferiority will crush them like a 1 ton block of the densest concrete imaginable 

Inosuke actually made Zenitsu stop breathing from sheer shock and awe when he realized what Inosuke's minor was

Psych is Zenitsu's major (the duo don't share any courses for psychology so they didn't know until then) and it caused Zenitsu to go on a rant to the effect of, " to think that pig headed idiot is doing better than me, that must be a lie! LIAR" 

That rant made Inosuke laugh so hard he fell off the table he was sitting on

He actually bruised a rib because of it

It remains Inosuke's favourite memory of Zenitsu because of this

And he wants to see how else he can make him turn purple with rage 

Hence he often comes up with weird ways to try and express his perceived academic superiority over his friends rivals 

Zenitsu falls for the weird competitive schemes Inosuke comes up with 

Tanjiro decidedly does not, in fact he doesn't really care so long as nobody actually gets hurt

Does that stop Inosuke from trying to outdo him? N o p e

If Tanjiro gets 96% on an assignment Inosuke must get 100% 

What can I say Inosuke is a competitive guy 

And it works for him as motivation 

Maybe a little too well if Inosuke has anything to say about it 

(He was embarrassed bc he got called out publicly at his grad ceremony for not just outstanding academic excellence but by the elderly head of the department for "being the Kinesiology student with the highest grades since the founding of the department" )

The metal he received from the department head totally does not hang on the wall in his mom's house 

Speaking of competitive spirit at school

He trains really hard for both Judo and Rugby

Its a great way for Inosuke to burn off both his aggression towards all the frustrating people he's stuck interacting with and his pent up energy 

Kicking ass just makes his temperament a lot easier to deal with for others and he will use ' sports practice' excuse to leave whatever social situation he doesn't want to be in

He just really likes contact sports okay

And by God is he good at them

Like takes home trophies and metals kinda good

Which also aren't being kept at him mom's house where he definitely doesn't have displayed where she can see them and be proud of him

However due to his tendency to be aggressive with the intensity of interest he has in things

Tanjiro signed Inosuke up for a ceramics class 

He thought that Inosuke would do well with something relaxing to do while still keeping it tactile enough to keep him interested 

It did not go over as well as Tanjiro had hoped

But despite this Inosuke still goes to every single club meet up without fail

Is he good at it? No 

Is Tanjiro? Definitely 

Does that make Inosuke steaming mad? Yep

Inosuke generally sucks at making clay things symmetrical 

So every plate or bowl or vase he makes ends up lopsided 

Inosuke will die before he admits to Tanjiro that he was glad for being signed up after he gave his Mom the successful first mug he made and she smiled brighter than she had in years 

It was bright green with blue and purple childlike butterfly drawings on it and the glaze wasn't spread evenly so it looks a little patchy 

And the handle is proportional too large and thin for the cup itself

But Inosuke's mom loves it more than any other mug in the house

And now every time he goes home to see her and she uses that mug, he finds himself quite happy 

But he will deny it thoroughly. 

All in all he loves getting the chance to go to College 

He may hate the judgy people he's forced to encounter regularly but Inosuke does adore the chance to learn and explore new interests 

Not to mention the people he gets to interact with 

Even if he knows the debt will weigh heavy on his bank account for a long while.

He still thinks it was all worth it.