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adamkadabra · 7 years ago

Text

No Happy Ending || Self Para 2/3

Tagging→ ADAM CRAWFORD, ELLIOTT GILBERT, mentions of others. Where→ Elliott’s Room. When→ 8/24/17 Warnings→ mentions of violence.

“This is the way that we love, Like its forever, Then live the rest of our life, But not together.” Happy Ending -Mika

Notes–> This is in order and is para 2 of 3. Parts 1 and 3 can be found at there at those links.

ADAM

Adam stopped by his room first to grab everything he could fit into his bag and placed his remaining items inside of his Grimoire. It had been a few days since he left London with the Shedim. Now, he was back on campus but it gave him time to prepare a few goodbyes he could leave for some of his friends. His heart ached as he closed the door to his room for the final time, leaving behind some of his clothes, school books, and a few other odds and ends. After stopping by his friend’s room to drop off the letters he had left for them he made his way to Elliott’s room. Adam stood outside the room for nearly five minutes before he could bring himself to knock. Adam closed his eyes and gripped the strap of his bag tight. He had to do this. He would be back, someday. Anyway, he hoped he would. Every part of Adam ached as he went over various goodbyes in his head. How could he say goodbye to Elliott? That was one thing he never imagined himself doing and here he was on his doorstep. Just breathe, he told himself. Remember to breathe. When there was no answer the first time, Adam raised his hand and knocked just a little louder.

ELLIOTT

Elliott was getting out of the shower when he heard a loud knock, he was surprised, at this time of the day and unannounced, he couldn't think of anyone that would want to visit him, and the only person that would was out of campus, or so he thought. He quickly got dressed with some comfy clothes he had around, though he didn't think much of his unglamoured looks, he just opened the door as he noticed the insistence of the person on the other side.

ADAM

Adam jumped a little as the door opened and stared at Elliott a moment quickly clearing the look of shock on his face. He smiled. It was unfair just how handsome Elliott was all the time. He bitterly thought how much he would miss just staring at him. Adam took in a deep breath. “Hey.” He said with a small wave. “I’m not bothering you right now, am I? Like, I’m not interrupting anything?” Maybe Adam should just go and write letters like he did to his other friends thereby avoiding the agony was sure to follow this face to face conversation. No. You have to stay. He deserves to be told this way. Adam swallowed thickly. He was pretty happy to see Elliott in his true form. It was his favorite, after all. Seeing Elliott as he truly was, and seeing him truly happy.

ELLIOTT

"Hey" he says with a smile when he sees Adam standing there "You are back, how did it go? How is your mother? How are you?" he let his boyfriend in and just observed his behavior, he wasn't sure what to say, he found himself wondering the past few days how hard would it be for the Crawford's to have lost such a lovely woman, and he also found himself realizing the fragility of human life, it was sort of terrifying to think how easily he could lost most of the people he cared about.

ADAM

Adam stepped passed Elliott into the room. He took a moment to steady himself not ready for what was to come. He sighed, “I uhmm, my mum okay. I mean we’re both pretty gutted about it. Helene was another mum to me and same to her. I don’t know how mum is gonna get through this to be honest. She thinks that Helene died resenting her, which I know is not true. I’m afraid she’s going to try and turn to my dad during all of this and he’s just..” Adam scoffed a little. “well I don’t know what he would do but I don’t like her turning to him for support.” Adam chewed on his lower lip for a moment. “I’ve been better. I wish you could have been there.” He said and reached out to take Elliott’s hand, his own shaking. “I thought about you the whole time.” Adam was struggling to keep his voice from cracking. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I just…I really really missed you.”

ELLIOTT

Elliott worried when he saw Adam was very affected, of course, he didn't expect anything else since someone so important for him had passed away, but it just broke his heart seeing him like that "I'm so sorry" he said sadly squeezing his hand, then slowly made Adam get close to him and give him a hug "I missed you too" he kissed the side of Adam's head.

ADAM

Adam’s heart ached as Elliott pulled him in for a hug and kissed him. Maybe if he stayed really still they would remain like this for the rest of time. They could turn into a beautiful statue and they could be together. Adam sighed and fell into the hug and held onto Elliott tightly. “I love you,so much.” He said and buried his face into Elliott’s chest. “You are so handsome like this.” Adam was trying to stall for more time with Elliott before he did the hardest thing he’d ever have to do. “You know that I prefer the real you over your glamor, right? Not that you aren’t incredibly sexy with all of those tattoos.” Adam chuckled and ran his fingers down Elliott’s arm. “But I always love you best when I see you like this. I can tell your truly happy when you don’t have to hide. It makes me happy to see you that way.”

ELLIOTT

Elliott smiled as he heard Adam's comments, it wasn't like he didn't know what Adam felt but this time sounded so much sincere than ever before and it was heartwarming. Elliott didn't have a problem with his original form, in fact it gave him more confident being like that, though he had learn that it is quite shocking for others to see it, so hear from Adam how much he loved him like that it always made him feel really good "I love you so much too" he replied with a smile "You always know what to say to lift a Shedim's spirit" he joked giving him a kiss on his lips this time.

ADAM

Adam laughed softly just before Elliott kissed him. A shiver ran down Adam's spine at the feeling of Elliott's lips on his own, it felt like the first time all over again and he surged forward to eagerly kiss him back wanting to remember this feeling. As he pulled back Adam smiled at Elliott but it soon faded as he remembered the reason he was here. Adam looked down at his hand in Elliott's. "Yeah, uhm about that. " Adam took a deep breath in held it a moment and sighed. "There's something that happened at the funeral you uhh..I need to tell you something." Adam looked up slowly to Elliott. "I met the Shedim that my aunt had tried to free when she was younger, the same one that my mum was so afraid of. He was being controlled by my cousin." He stopped a moment and squeezed Elliott's hand tighter. "He was saying some awful things about you and my mum and said I should learn to control you otherwise he would and I lost it, I uhm I punched him." Adam chuckled at that. "It felt good."

ELLIOTT

Elliott smiled as long as Adam did, but it was pretty clear how suddenly his boyfriend's attitude shifted "That's... that's a lot" he said when he heard all that happened "I can't believe... woah" he looked at Adam with a proud smile, though he didn't approve of violence, it kinda made him proud to see that Adam went that far to protect a Lusus Naturae, though he also realized that probably would be a huge scene specially in a funeral "Eh... did you get in trouble?" he asked quickly.

ADAM

Adam noticed the proud smile and Adam blushed a little. He returned the smile but only briefly. "It was." He sighed. "No. I mean...I didn't hit him in front of everyone. I went outside to get some air in the garden and he came out. He...he made the Shedim stick his head in the fountain until he said otherwise." Adam said, his tone changing as anger edged in. He was getting angry all over again. "He was doing it because he knew about you, about us and knew it would get to me. Ell, it was awful and all I was thinking about was you."

ELLIOTT

Elliott was disguted about the things some people were able to do to others. There wasn't enough words to describe how terrible all the Adam said was "I would love to say I can't believe that... but.... I know by experience how awful people can be... I'm not surprised" he said frowning and squeezing Adam hand "Do you know if the Shedim was alright after what happened?"

ADAM

Adam didn't answer right away. He ran his thumb over Elliott's hand. "Yeah, he's fine." He replied. "Actually, when I hit my cousin it was also in part of me trying to get him to let the Shedim go. He was all talk. I sort of resorted him to a crying mess after I hit him." He smiled a little. "But I threatened him again and he said the words 'you're free to go'. " Adam smiled a little more at this still proud he was able to get Charlie to say those words. "I don't think he realized what he said and he didn't have much of a chance. My mum found us and realized what happened and she ushered Charlie away before he could say anything else. I actually broke his nose." Adam flexed his hand a little. "Anyway, the Shedim was free to go and before his dad could come out or anyone else....we ran." Adam watched Elliott for his response. "I wasn't going to let him become their servant again."

ELLIOTT

Elliott took a deep breath trying to process all what he was listening, he felt proud but confused, all these things so sudden, he wondered when Adam could have a nice break. "I'm glad you did that... to help him but... what do you mean you run? Is someone looking after you? Are you okay?" he worried.

ADAM

Adam sighed and he knew that this was a lot of information to get within a few minutes. He lead Elliott over to the bed to sit down. “I’m sorry.” He said, still holding Elliott’s hand. “I didn’t want anyone to come looking for him. Ell, he’s been a slave to that part of my family for decades! Generations! I wanted to do what my aunt didn’t get the chance too.” Adam gave Elliott a small smile. “And…I kept thinking of you and how would I feel if you were in that situation and what would I hope someone would do for you. I know it’s..it’s mad. It really is and I realized about five minutes into it all that I hadn’t the clue what I was actually doing or planning.” He moved little closer to Elliott. “I can’t say for sure if my family is looking for him or not, but since he’s been in service to them for years it may hurt their pride. They act as if they are some high and mighty Bloodlines, as if they had never been born Common.” He shook his head. “But I can’t let them have him again and I don’t want to bring him here to NYADA because they’ll know.”

ELLIOTT

Elliott sat next to Adam and kept listening "I see... that's... a little crazy yeah" he chuckled caressing Adam's face with his hand "but I'm glad you could help him, I'm sure he most definitely appreciate to run away free" he smiled, though then he thought about the last thing Adam said, he couldn't bring the Shedim to NYADA, he wanted to stop his family from finding him "So... then? What..." he was joining the dots but he wasn't sure if what he was thinking was correct "What are you going to do?" he asked worried.

ADAM

Adam’s eye’s slid closed at Elliott’s touch and he focused on memorizing it. After a moment he opened them again and reached up to caress his face with the hand that wasn’t still holding onto Elliott’s. “You’re so beautiful..” He murmured softly. Adam drew in a deep breath to keep his emotions in check,but it was becoming more and more difficult. “I don’t know, exactly. I just know I have to find a place that is safe for him with people I can trust to keep him safe.” He shrugged a little letting his hand drop from Elliott’s face. “I don’t know how long it will take..” His voice grew quiet. “And I also don’t know what repercussions this could cause for me or my mum. He didn’t hurt anyone so there is no reason for the Cardines to be after us, but I also don’t know if my cousin will spin it a different way and say I stole him. He’s not that smart so I doubt he will.” Adam added.

ELLIOTT

Elliott again didn't know what to say, he was listening to the words and understanding the meaning of them but also not sure if this was really happening "You... so... you are leaving?" he knew the answer would probably be yes, but when he asked, a small part of him wished it was a no. Was that selfish? He just wanted Adam to stay with him, but at the same time he knew if Adam had decided to go was for a good reason.

ADAM

Adam’s stomach dropped. He held on tighter to Elliott, if that were possible. “I…well…yes..sort of…” He babbled. Adam cleared his throat and tried again. “I want to find someplace for this Shedim to be safe.” He said. “And NYADA is the last place for him. I don’t know how long it will take. But for now, yes I am…I’m not going to be on NYADA campus.” Adam didn’t want to say those exact words because it all felt so final. “I promise Ell,” Tears began to form and fall now. “I swear to you I would ask you to come with me if I didn’t think you’d be in danger for leaving NYADA. I would take you with me and we’d start our life together.” Adam’s voice cracked. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted with you.”

ELLIOTT

Elliott wasn't sure how he was feeling, part of him was proud that Adam decided to do such a good thing for other person, specially another Lusus Naturae, but at the same time he felt heartbroken, Adam was so special to him and the thought of him leaving wasn't something Elliott had ever expected "I know... it's just too complicated" he felt like he was going to cry but he didn't, he wanted to be strong one last time for Adam, it looked like it wasn't the easiest thing to say from him, and he didn't want to make it harder.

ADAM

Adam moved closer to Elliott on the bed and cupped his hand on his the side of Elliott’s face. “I love you.” He said choking back a sob. “You are the most important thing in my life.” Adam leaned in and pressed his forehead to Elliott’s. “And I hope that’s not hard to believe despite that I am lea-leaving NYADA.” Adam drew in a breath to try and steady himself and keep him from shaking but it didn’t work as well as he’d hope. His heart was breaking and Adam wanted nothing more than to pull Elliott off the bed and run with him out the door and off campus. “I..I don’t want to break up with you.” He swallowed. “So I’m not. Because one day I want to have a life with you, but..if I’m gone and there is someone else,” Adam had to a take a moment at this so he wasn’t a complete sobbing mess. “If there is someone else, I just want you to be happy. Okay?”

ELLIOTT

Elliott looked at Adam with sadness "I love you too" he touched Adam's hand on his cheek and leaned on it for a moment, then grabbed his hand softly and moved away from his face, trying to calm down all his thoughts and say the words he wanted to "I... I know what you mean, but I feel... it wouldn't be fair for either of us to do that... I would feel like I was cheating on you... I love you, I imagined a life with you, but if we aren't going to be together and we don't even know if we are going to see each other again, I don't want to do that to you, I want you to move on and be happy and do what you have to do..." he paused "I don't want you to feel like you own me anything, I want you to be happy, and me too" he kissed Adam one last time "I'm sorry, but I think we should break up" he thought the words wouldn't come up, but he made an effort to say them, it was the best for them, it has to be done, that's what he thought.

ADAM

Adam stared at Elliott a moment as he moved his hand away from his face. Adam's brow furrowed a moment until he realized what Elliott was doing and suddenly panic set in. He shifted in the bed inching closer to Elliott. No. No this couldn't be happening. Adam was leaving campus but he always planned on coming back for Elliott. He didn't want to say those words that Elliott was getting at because it meant finality and that they were really over. He kissed Elliott back, trying to savor the kiss but it was too fleeting. He clenched his jaw trying not to let his emotions get away from him but he couldn't help himself from let out a broken sob as Elliott said the words and phrase Adam was dreading. "I....I..I don't want to break up with you." He said his voice just above a whisper. Elliott was right though, it wasn't fair to them. Maybe Adam was being selfish. He closed his eyes a moment. "I never wanted this to happen." He said through tears.

ELLIOTT

Elliott was so heartbroken to see Adam crying, he moved him closer and hugged him tight "I'm sorry, I didn't want us to end like this either" he said with his arms tight around Adam's body. He wanted to be stronger, he didn't want to cry because he thought it would make Adam even more sad, but it was getting hard, they had been together and so happy for that year, they knew each other so well and loved each other so much. Saying they had to break up hadn't been easy for Elliott, but if there was something he was sure of is that he wanted Adam to be happy and free, if he had to take this risk and do what he had to, then Elliott wouldn't be in the way of it "I will always treasure the time we were together, as friends and as boyfriends" he said still holding Adam.

ADAM

Adam held tightly onto Elliott in the hug,his hands pressing against his boyfr—Elliott’s back. He slammed his eyes shut and cried into Elliott’s chest. “Pl-please.” He said, his voice muffled by his face being buried in the other’s chest. “I promise I won’t be mad, it won’t be cheating.” Adam begged desperately. But he knew that it wasn’t fair to Elliott to ask him to wait for him, even if Adam didn’t plan on seeing anyone else. He lifted his head a little. “I love you, so much Ell. You’ll always be the one.” He tried to smiled but it hurt too much. Adam stepped back and wiped some of the tears from his face. He reached into his bag and pulled out a neatly wrapped silver bag with a black ribbon and held it out toward Elliott not looking him in the eyes. “I..I made you a batch of brownies.” He said quietly. “And I want you to have this.” He handed over a navy blue beanie, it was tearing just a little from being worn so much. “It’s my favorite one. I was..” He hesitated. “I was wearing it that day under the tree where we talked. The day I knew I loved you..”

ELLIOTT

Elliott shook his head once Adam could see him, he had made the decision and he felt it was the best, they needed to have this closure. He was surprised by the presents and he took both things feeling kind of guilty, he didn't know how to process this, both of those things meant a lot to him, that day under the tree was so important for them, and it would always be a precious memory for him, and he was sure for Adam was well "Thank you" he didn't know what else he could say "That day was so special, I'm glad we could get to know each other"

ADAM

Adam looked down at the ground as Elliott took the gifts. This was it then. Why did it feel harder for Adam than for Elliott? Adam scowled a little, that wasn’t fair. Elliott was probably just better at hiding his emotions, right? He drew in a breath and held it momentarily. This would be better for Ell anyway, now he didn’t have Adam holding him back and he could focus on his activism and work at making a difference at NYADA. Everything inside and out felt numb. There was a sort of buzzing in his ears that was making Adam sick to his stomach. ‘I’m glad we could get to know each other.’ Adam’s hands clenched into fists. It sounded so plan and basic and for some reason it hurt deep inside of him. “Yeah,” Adam replied, still avoiding eye contact. “I put the recipe for the brownies inside the bag for you, in case you wanted to make them yourself.” He shrugged. “I should go.”

ELLIOTT

Elliott left the things over the bed "Hey, hey" he said noticing Adam's attitude change as he spoke. He grabbed Adam's hand before he moved and made him look at him "I know it's going to sound bad but, I really don't care about the brownies at all, my favorite part about the sweets is that you took the time to made them and that we could eat them together, and you know I don't even know how to make toasts so I'm obviously not going to make them properly... " he chuckles though he is starting to feel his eyes watery "I don't want our goodbye to be you looking down at the floor and me eating brownies alone" he smiles at Adam "I'm going to miss you so much... do you think you have a few more minutes to eat these together?" he points at the bag.

ADAM

Adam half heartedly tried to pull away from Elliott but allowed the other to direct his gaze. Adam’s eyes were read, and swollen from crying. The touch of Elliott’s hand in his felt perfect, like it always did and that made everything ache more. ‘our goodbye’ Adam inhaled sharply at this. He was saying goodbye to Elliott. Adam clenched his jaw trying to keep himself from crying any further. This felt like some cruel dream that he hoped he would wake from any moment in Elliott’s bed, the light of the morning sun just starting to show through the window. And the best part was he was safe in Elliott’s arms. “I bet Rachel could help you, or Tina..” The mention of his friends hurt in another way. “You’ll look after them, yeah? Make sure Tina eats breakfast.” Adam drew in a breath and his chest rattled. “I’m not exactly hungry right now…” He mumbled, “But I suppose I could spare a few more minutes.”

#self para #no happy ending #para 2 of 3

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