#I can’t English rn
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having a normal one abt “odysseus”
(the quote from the odyssey is lines 405-409 from book 19 of emily wilson’s translation, while the definition is pg 63 of her introduction)
#alli says shit#epic the musical#i did mishear this line at 10 pm i will admit but here’s why i went insane#i can’t rewrite my entire essay rn so u will have to take this#bc i do take a moment to reflect upon when odysseus’ name is used with that definition in mind#i’m not a classics majors i’m worse. i’m an english major
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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Chat ya ni sé si me paso los cursos tengo como que 9 proyectos en la misma semana y una tonga de exámenes en diferentes materias si es que me puse a hablar con mis amigas sobre el suicidio aunque tenga tremendo miedo de morir no jodas es que no tengo tiempo para respirar ya no puedo más pasé por esto hace años y ahora termino así solo sáquenme de mi miseria a este punto
#No quiero volver a arrancarme el pelo por estrés y eso la última vez me quedé pelonga por la parte alante estaba feísima#Y ahora tengo una cantidad de canas desde hace tremendo rato (también por el estrés)#No puedo más chamas es que es demasiado#Pero no puedo salir del programa en el que estoy por qué es demasiado para mí#Es demasiado para todo el mundo y mis amigas. No solo para mí#Y quiero quedarme por que me gustan las clases y los profes pero es que es mucho trabajo#No sé ni por donde comenzar#Antes lo supiera pero es que ya no soy como antes no sé que me pasa#Al menos trabajaba muchísimo antes pero ahora es todo a último minuto porque simplemente no puedo más#Y además mi mami no me deja tranquila siempre me anda diciendo desorganizada y sucia aunque esté completamente bien#No le cuadra nada y me pregunto por qué sigo intentando a impresionarla#Yapping a lot but I can’t w this junk no more#Jealous of old me bc even despite everything she got through the struggles and now I just cower and cry#Yap yapatron but I will post some drawings later. If I don’t. Suddenly hate them.#I could never vent anywhere else but this website. I’m happy it exists <:3#Vent#vent post#Fuck why is the doggie pixelated fuck you ointerest#Sorry for writing in Spanish it just felt more natural to me rn than to speak english
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also i dont really think the squeaky voice fits otta
#id like her to have a deeper voice but i guess it makes sense to give her a more high pitched one since shes so tiny#but like.. she deliberately presents and carries herself as a butch/masc woman#i think in the english adventurers bible it says she ‘talks like a man’ or smtng along the lines of that. (can’t find it rn tho)#my point is her pitch and general way of talking in the anime (japanese and eng dub atleast) don’t really fit that description#even taking into account that elven gender roles are different. only (adult) male elves with a speaking role so far are lycion and mithrun#generally theres no reason to assume that elves consider squeaky cartoon characters voice masculine#ofc ppl have limited control over how their voice sounds but i highly doubt the voice actor talks like that irl#dungeon meshi
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I think one of my favorite moments in twd is when the group enters Alexandria for the first time and they’re all giving up their weapons. And before Carol gives up her rifle she looks at Rick, as if asking if he’s sure about this, and he gives her a small nod. And then Carol acts clumsy and unfamiliar with the gun as she unshoulders the rifle to give to the Alexandrians, as if she hadn’t expertly used it to wipe out a whole group a few episodes earlier. And the moment Olivia leaves, he makes eye contact with her clearly asking her something, and the apologetic, self-deprecating smile is replaced by her stone cold face and she subtly nods.
They’re so in tune with each other by that point and I love them for it. The way she trusts Rick to lead but also, as we see later with the Pete situation, she’s also not above manipulating/nudging him towards what she wants. And Rick clearly knows this too.
#she and Michonne kinda have that in common. they’ll follow Rick’s lead in front of everyone and question his decisions behind doors#of course Carol has a more… murdery approach. whereas Michonne is much more lawyer-like about it? I can’t think of a word in English rn#maybe sensible?#idk#anyway I don’t ship Rick and Carol. I just adore them as a duo#the walking dead spoilers#rick grimes#carol peletier
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ya girl Steve is not doing all that great in college work life
#tryna convince myself to do an essay rough draft by thinking how it could “”””impress””” a guy in my English class that i can’t tell if i’m#crushing on bc i’ve never been in feasible romantic situations (ie crushing on some1 not a fictional mythical entity) or if there’s just#serious mutual “we should b friends but oh god how do i actually talk to them” tension#either way there’s undoubtedly smthn here I just gotta get past aaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll the social trauma from being ostracized#in middle school & having absolutely 0 consistent real friends in high school; i swear to that axolotl i am on constant Survival Mode at#school & it shows so badly#should’ve (ie an “excuse me” or “thank you”)#and typing this is EXTREMELY counterproductive rn I’ve been here for like 5 minutes#anyway i feel stupid for this because it feels like smthn i should’ve been doing in high school but thank the undiagnosed adhd for#annihilating my “high school experience” in favor of homework I could never complete and still can’t apparently#like for christ’s sake could i at least be doing good at schoolwork & creative projects if i can’t have a social life#or instead have a few friends to make it feel like there’s less pressure on the hw cuz there’s more important things in my life#literally screenshooting this rn to know to talk to my therapist abt it. doubt she’ll b able to help but might as well yeah#i don’t want it to be obvious how much self loathing & pity & general angst i’m holding when i talk to ppl but I’ve never ever been a good#emotions actor & never will tbh.#AND my minecraft house looks ugly. send post
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i haven’t done any of the work yet either, lmao idk how i’m gonna get through this
#literally last week i had to worry about an english project#the stress for it was insane like i’m tired man i don’t wanna do this anymore#i joke to my friends about killing myself but ts looking real nice rn i can’t do it bro#i feel like a failure#vent post#rant#i find myself thinking of my future too. idk what i’m gonna do and i can’t even imagine myself having one#i don’t know how to explain it but every time i imagine myself in the future#it’s me as someone else. like i want to be anyone but me. you know? i can’t imagine myself. it’s always someone else’s characteristics.#i think that’s why i wanted to shift so bad. to be someone that just isn’t me. idk how to explain it or how to even get through this but im#tired man i’ve been hating a lot of things about me. i hate my chin i hate my body i hate my arms i hate my acne i hate being in my skin#i can’t even take a nap because i have to atleast work on this presentation soon and maybe some of my study guide for my test tomorrow#i have the class first hour too#like i can’t win man. whoever’s out there in the universe let me be happy with myself just once please
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Good evening Genya Enjoyers and I am so sorry
Here’s … some bullshit from a WIP im working on as a possible sequel to Ghost of You working title ‘Rose forces Sanemi and Giyuu to go to therapy via severely retraumatizing both of them’
Tw: blood, bodily injury, strong language
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“Genya! Fuck, Genya, can you hear me? You’re alright, you’re going to be alright—”
Panic rose with the pain and blood in his throat. Sanemi was tearing at the remnants of his tunic to get at his wound. Much longer and he’d be front and center to watch it heal, watch his flesh stitch itself back together again under guidance from the demonic blood that surged through him. He’d hate him even more.
“A-aniki—” Genya rasped, and mustered his strength to shove Sanemi back. He got him by the shoulder and pushed, but Sanemi stubbornly came right back. “L-leave me.”
Sanemi ignored him. “Let me see—” his words choked themselves off when he saw the wound. He could practically see right through Genya’s body and to the ground below. His throat heaved and pulsed with the effort to breathe, slit open like some kind of sacrifice. There was no surviving this. He’d seen enough similar injuries to know that. Stubborn as ever, Sanemi didn’t care.
“It’s alright.” He said again. Genya weakly pushed his hands away as Sanemi tore his tunic open and Sanemi ignored it. “It’s going to be fine, Genya. It’ll be just fine. Onii-chan is going to make it better, I promise.” His words forced themselves out of his throat through sobs. He tried to remember what Shinobu had taught him about first aid. Check the airway, make sure they’re breathing, stop the bleeding. A decent enough checklist for minor stab wounds. Not…he clenched his jaw to bite back bile rising in his throat. Not whatever this was.
Genya grabbed his wrist.
“P-please,” he managed. “Please, stop.” He could already feel the blood slowing. He’d have a hell of a time explaining it away later but there was at least a chance if he could get Sanemi away from him while it healed.
Trembling, Sanemi wrenched his hand out from Genya’s grasp. “Lay still, please, would you just lay still?! Let me see the wound! Onii-Chan is going to make it better, I promise!”
Genya pushed back, eyes filling with tears. “Onii-chan,” he repeated through sobs. The word felt rusty from so many years of disuse. “Please, go! I’ll be f-fine!” He could feel the farthest margins of the wound beginning to find one another. Surely Sanemi only hadn’t noticed because he was so focused on Genya’s face. Genya’s attempt at getting Sanemi off of him was quickly thwarted by Sanemi grabbing him tightly by the shoulders, staring down at him as tears fell from his eyes onto Genya’s face.
#if youre wondering what the plot of the rest of the fic is so am I#rn it’s just. vibes#I had the hardest time deciding on how to convey the distinct meaning of oniichan#because no one refers to themselves as ‘big brother’ in English#so I didn’t want to use that#but it’s extremely important to me that he uses that term specifically#because he hasn’t used the affectionate version in so long#so just saying ‘big brother’ felt weird but omitting it entirely wasn’t an option#so I did something I rarely do and just kept the full Japanese word and italicized it#still can’t decide how I feel about it but at least it gets the point across#my stuff
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jealousy over bojan being able to speak.. what, like 5? at least? languages proficiently is making me redownload duolingo
#slovene english serbian spanish and then like maybe japanese and finish??? did i miss any?#who tf did he sell his soul to and where can i get some of that#considering i can’t even get korean rn like damn#ok but checking my duolingo at least i’m still at at least a1 level of fr*nch from high school!!#like i’m in the middle of it and it’s the lowest level but it’s still progress!#joker out#bojan cvjeticanin#joker out bojan#bojan cvjetićanin
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if i end up having to go into english instead of history i might actually kill myself
#trying SO hard to develop a project that i can turn into a history phd thesis#but everyone else doing this kind of research is an english professor. kms#writing a paper 4 my history class rn & my arguments keep turning into literary arguments….they need 2 be HISTORICAL or i will die.#like why tf am i talking abt this text if i can’t situate it within broader historical discourses. what’s the point
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English better release “I love you” 2.0 having only one of those is ruining my fic >:(
#English be making me mad#it just doesn’t have the same impact I’m so 😡😡😡😡#release a new one! rn! I can’t do this anymore!
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Doodle of my boy
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#fydd <3333333333#he is my bestie I need to get over my fear of drawing him so bad#grips bathroom sink I Will get better at drawing for fun and letting my art be messy and being proud of it anyways#but yeah look at him he is so cute and is so silly and he’s never gone through any traumatic events ever I would never#<- lying lier who lies and loves tormenting it’s ocs#but yeah he’s half alien half human but was raised entirely by his human mom#his alien mom is alas stuck in the cult the two met at rip#fydd doesn’t know abt any of that tho he just knows that he has another mom that his mom doesn’t like talking abt#he loves playing games of all kind but especially loves video games and will play them for hours#not that he has much else to do since he’s spent pretty much his entire life living by a garbage dump in the middle of nowhere#and he’s not allowed to go fuck around in the dump much since his mom doesn’t want him to be seen so he’s stuck at home most of the time#thankfully now he has an adopted sister to play with but he still has viddy game autism#his mom has done her best to introduce him to the various cultures she and his other mom came from but she struggles with it#she was quite disconnected from her own culture growing up and she knows limited amount about her girlfriends home planet#fydd doesn’t mind much rn cause he’s 12 but a certain other older fydd might care a smidge more#fydd does like 60% know both japanese and spanish tho so that’s pretty cool#his mom tried to do regular lessons when he was younger but wasn’t able to keep them up consistently and eventually gave up#mostly because she wasn’t anywhere near fluent in either herself and she had a hard time keeping up with how fast fydd would pick up on it#they still have some books from back then laying around that fydd will pick up and read aloud when he’s bored sometimes#he gets bored of speaking english all the time as his brain is built to pick apart different sounds and assign them linguistic meaning#so reading and speaking different languages is good enrichment for him#his mom doesn’t know this unfortunately otherwise she totally would have gotten him more stuff in different languages to chew on#he does get to learn the language the stalien cast speaks tho he has a lot of fun with that#he alas can’t properly experience most stalien video games though rip#I should rly get to redesigning his human mom again at some point she needs it sooo bad#I mean her whole squad needs it but she’s my favorite so like
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Oh but how I’d love to not lose 15 pounds by the time my surgery gets here. I’m not entirely sure what exactly triggered this episode but now I can’t eat and can barely drink for hours until it goes away completely. It’s probably still sensitive bc last night was bad. But yeesh, man.
#also the cook makes food for us#and he gets a little concerned when I don’t eat (fair and reasonable)#and he misunderstood what I asked for and made me something I can’t eat rn#so I lied and said it was good (it always is) and I feel so bad. he’s so kind. and I am hungry.#I hate lying and I hate food waste but he doesn’t speak enough English for me to explain what’s wrong
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This blog is weirdly therapeutic for me.
#az doods#az personal#thank u for being insane online 🫶 y’all enabling me to produce more shit shows (affectionate)#despite the fact that I am neither English nor Arts major#so like#prepare for more Zero Knowledge scramble-till-I-figure-it-out & making-it-up-as-I-go posts#honestly can’t believe I learned about colour values from the drawing ultrakill in skirts#cant wait to scramble some more#(the actually post where I Applied My Learning is queued hehehe)#rubbing my hands evily right now#also why r there 70 of you where did y’all come from :0#as the kids say- shook rn
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just started Jujutsu Kaisen and ok i get the hype 😑🙄
#fuckjng annoying how crunchyroll doesn’t have subtitles for english like???#i’m trying to build something rn i can’t look at the screen 100%#alicia talks#jjk
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Why can’t I understand Ancient Greek and Latin. Why.
#am looking at translation for so many stuff rn#I’m SUFFERING#FUCK#WHY CAN’T I UNDERSTAND THE ORIGINAL#and I don’t trust the translations my teach picked#claire being an english major
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