#I can send you a link skipped to it if you so desire

[brittscafe]

𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐡

Pairing: Aizen Sosuke x reader

Summary: Aizen Sosuke and reader take a bath together.

Request: Taking a bath with Aizen

A/n: Heyyy! I really enjoyed writing something soft and calm for Aizen, I hope you enjoy! <3

Content: brief nudity, mostly sfw.

Ko-fi link (anything is appreciated <3)

You step into the warm room filled with steam and candles light up around the bathroom. The room is scented with vanilla and honey, a scent that pleases your nostrils.

Aizen is in front of you, bare back and muscles popping out. He turns off the faucet to the hot water, tub full of it and foamy bubbles. You quietly close the door behind you as Aizen turns around and faces you.

Your eyes are immediately drawn to his chest and abs out for view. He clears his throat and your eyes shoot up to his own.

"Sorry," you grumble out as he walks over to you. A strand of his dark hair hangs down in front of his face and his lips twitch into a slight smile for just a moment.

He grabs onto your shoulders, a white robe covering your bare body underneath.

"No need to be sorry for staring, y/n. After all, I know you can't help yourself," he comments teasingly and your face heats up.

"Hey, that is not true," you huff out as he slowly takes off your robe off your shoulder. The loose robe drops onto the ground, leaving you vulnerable and bare in front of Aizen.

Nothing he hasn't seen before, you remind yourself. Aizen scans over your body, admiring it and slightly smirking. You scoff, catching himself staring and you walk past him.

You step into the bath, one foot diving into the hot water. The tub is deep as the water goes up to your knee. Aizen undresses himself as you allow the hot water to swallow the rest of your body.

Your muscles instantly relax and you let out a pleasant sigh, eyelids closing. You relish in the hot water that seems to get all the kinks out from your sore body.

The loud splashing of the water causes you to open your eyes, curious. Aizen sinks down into the water, holding onto the sides of the tub to ease himself in, muscles throbbing and flexing as he does so.

"This is nice," you hum out. Aizen nods his head, inching closer to you and reaching out his hand. You lift your hand up from the water, grabbing onto his.

Aizen pulls you closer, eyes glancing down at your lips. He desires them so much. He loves the way your lips feel against his, they feel so right.

"You're staring," you notice, smiling.

Aizen lets out a deep chuckle that rumbles in his throat as his hand grasps onto your jaw. His fingers are slick and wet, but still firmly grabbing your face and bringing you closer.

His dark eyes gaze deeply into yours, making your heart skip a quick beat.

"Is that so?" he asks, voice deep and sending a chill down your spine.

You nod your head and Aizen dips his head down, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. The kiss is soft, warm, and wet. The kiss is so perfect and loving.

You wrap your arms around his neck, wet bodies pressing together.

Your lips melt together, not getting enough of each other just quite yet. You open your lips slightly, allowing for Aizen to slide his tongue inside your mouth.

You groan into his mouth as his free hand grabs onto your waist, squeezing the flesh. You giggle against his lips as his fingers tickle your skin.

You slowly pull away, nose bushing against his. You grab onto the bar of soap sitting in the corner and dip it into the water. You lathe the soap into your hands and start scrubbing Aizen's shoulder.

"You do know that I can wash myself, right?" he pokes at you as your hands move down to his chest. You feel his pecs and nod your head, giggling.

"Oh, trust me, I do. You always do everything yourself though. I thought it would be nice if I took care of you," you suggest, moving over to his arms.

You feel every vein in his forearms and how his biceps are just natural big and muscular. Aizen huffs quietly, a chuckle hidden underneath his huff.

Aizen gazes at you, love filling his eyes. He never thought he could love someone like this nor did he think someone could ever care this much about him.

He hates to admit it, but it tugs on his heartstrings.

He grabs onto your arm and pulls you into his chest. Your back is pressed up against his chest and his arms are wrapped tightly around you.

"What's going on?" you ask, chuckling as he squeezes you tightly.

"Nothing just...thank you," he whispers into your ear, placing a sweet kiss behind your ear. You smile warmly, leaning back into Aizen's gentle touch.

Aizen holds you tightly, the most precious thing in the whole universe to him.

[letters-from-cutie]

The Scouts as Your College Boyfriends [Headcanon]

CHARACTERS: Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Erwin and Levi x gn!Reader (slighty spicy at the end)

If you like to see others, please tell me. I'll try this concept again for Levi, and maybe Eren/Jean too. I apologize for some scenarios being bigger than others. I'm Brazilian so I don't know how college works in other places, so don't mind if sounds different to you. English is not my first language.

˗ˏˋ EREN YEAGER ˎˊ˗

He seeks justice in all his lifetimes. So, I see him enrolling in law to be a prosecutor. He wants to get justice for victims. However, he may switch to criminal defense as he learns more about the system and life.

Besides law, he's also interested in social studies so he may change his course for that. I can also see him wanting a political job, especially after high school. He aspired to make the world a better place. But, as he gets older, he becomes more skeptical about that.

Studies aside, he is such a cool guy to hang out with. He goes to some parties but never lets his studies aside. On the contrary of his high school years, as a college student, he is dedicated enough to get very good grades, though he barely studies, what an icon.

He meets you after he picks a fight with your ex. You just ended things with him and is trying to avoid him around campus. But, you would eventually have to go through his class corridor one day.

And of course, he is there when you do. The guy wants to talk to you so badly and paint himself as innocent, but Eren won't let that happen, as he already has enough of him, because of his problematic commentaries during class.

Eren, wanting no trouble with his professor, stays calm and ignores your ex during class. But, now, as he sees your ex trying to force you to speak with him, Eren finds a chance to finally get back to him.

He calls him off right there, in the middle of the corridor, in a humiliating but smart way. Eren also offers to escort you away from him. You, always the revengeful (rightly so), accept his companion.

So Eren throws his arms around your shoulders and looks behind him to shoot that look (yk the one) towards the guy. And so your love story begins.

Congrats, you got the hottest guy in college. That comes with ups and downs, but mainly ups. Eren is absolutely devoted to his partner, you. In theory, there's nothing you should be afraid of.

He'll do anything for you and will protect you from everything that can harm you. If you have a problem with a member of your group project, ask him to resolve it, and he'll be happy to oblige.

The downside of being with Eren is that he gets girls and boys enamored with him all the time. But he pays them no mind.

Eren would never look to anyone other than you, so he gets annoyed when someone tries to hit on him, and probably has a good comeback to it. Though he understands if you get jealous, and will take you immediately to the bathroom to prove you wrong.

Expect to hang out a lot with Mikasa and Armin, as Eren asks you to go with him on most of their outings. Their hangouts are mostly calm. The trio enjoys exploring towns and new places. Therefore, you should be prepared to always check on new locations and have different experiences with them.

You'll always have a place in Mikasa and Armin's hearts, and it makes Eren even more in love with you when he sees how much you guys get along.

Lastly, expect him to be in your dorm a lot. He loves to cuddle with you at night, and you can't say no to his cute sleepy face, desiring you to untie his hair and play with it. And it's even harder to say no to his sexy morning voice.

It sends shivers down your spine every time he wakes you up, asking you to stay for some minutes and skip the first period of classes. How can you say no to him when you know that in his arms you'll have the time of your life?

˗ˏˋ ARMIN ARLET ˎˊ˗

Many people link him to marine biology because of his interest in the ocean, which I agree with, but comes from a different perspective. I see him being more into the concept of traveling and discovering new things than anything.

I imagine him wanting a job that lets him stay put but also change settings from time to time. Biology and marine biology are great for that if you desire to study, protect, and care for wild flora or fauna.

Also, he sounds to me like a guy who enjoys brain challenges, so a scientific field is something that would keep him engaged. He will pursue education further than most people would, as he enjoys learning new things and overall the academic field.

But, this also means that he's a big nerd. He does hang out with his friends, but he prefers to stay indoors, so he is more likely to attend these types of reunions.

Mikasa and Eren are his best friends. He also has other companions, so he's not the lonely type of nerd. He's just a smart, yet introverted guy.

He's such a booklover, so it makes sense for him to get a part-time job at his university's library. Armin quickly learns about how everything works and it's the best at the job they ever had. So if you need any help finding something, go after him.

That's how you met him. You like the library for its silence and academic atmosphere that keep you focused on your studies. Armin's shifts are when you're also free to study, so you always see him when you go there, and quickly get a crush on the blondie.

He is such a cute and polite guy. Armin always greets you when you arrive and get a book, but you're kinda insecure that he is just being polite, seeing how he also treats other students.

But one day, you find yourself needing a helping hand to find your books. So you take it as a chance to talk to Armin. Though he seems rather busy, surrounded by two students you think you've seen before.

Going back to the shelves, you find yourself looking for this specific book for quite some time, that is until you feel him behind you. In Armin's hands lays the exact book that you need. Before handing it to you, he says that he needs to doublecheck it quickly, and goes to the direction his friends were.

When he hands the book to you, you find a cute post-it on the first page. It has a motivational phrase, a drawn smiley face, and a number. You can thank Mikasa and Eren later for the push they did on Armin, cause that's how you meet your boyfriend.

Armin is such a sweetheart. He always checks up on you: if you have studied for your tests if you've done your assignments on time, if you have rested after so many classes...

This is his way of taking care of you, in the middle of his own busy student life. Also, you don't need calendars anymore, baby boy remembers everything you say to him.

He takes you to study dates, where you'll spend half an hour studying, half an hour making out, then repeat. He settles his dorm with warm lights and will help you if you ask, somehow he can understand your lessons even better than you at first read.

If you're in the artistic field or an overall very different field for him, the relationship becomes such a learning experience for him. He enjoys sitting down at night with you, while you show him your project that you just ended. He looks at you with those big blue eyes.

He is so tender and shows so much admiration that takes your breath away, and you need to recollect yourself to go back to your work. Then, he will proudly take you to bed. He'll show you how much he enjoys your work. To relax you after your hard work, a great oil massage and some sexy times will follow.

˗ˏˋ JEAN KIRSCHTEIN ˎˊ˗

Jean is most of us out of high school: lost. So it is not a surprise that he chooses business or managing courses, - very common and vast fields to study on. He doesn't know where he wants to work yet.

All he knows is that he enjoys the frat lifestyle shown in movies. Ironically, at the same time, he wants a romance of books and he needs a job.

So as time passes, he finds himself enjoying HR, which he plans his career around and pushes his studies further. For me, Jean is a great leader and cares a lot for others, so HR is perfect for him. Plus he looks amazing in a suit/working outfit (mine and his words).

Like I said, he first wanted to experience the frat life. During his first semester, all he does is party, even more than Connie and Sasha together.

It's funny because all he wants is love and to have some fun, but he is too young and was created in a world that directed him to pursue a fuckboy life.

The reality is that he is anything but a fuckboy, he cannot even go to bed with someone without catching feelings. After some time, he can't sustain this lifestyle. With so many rejections and bad grades, he desires to change. He wishes to be a person he can be proud of.

That is how he finds himself pursuing mentoring classes. It may be for his own subjects, calculus, or for his writing, whatever you feel like you'd teach him in this scenario.

At first, you thought it was a prank... One of the top fuckboys of your college is wanting your help?

In the first classes, you have to reprehend him on some of his attitudes, but he always listens to what you say. The way you treat him so well makes him fall for you, no one had such patience with him before. So, he starts to do everything and anything to entice you.

Expect flowers on your doorstep. Chocolates will somehow slip into your bag when you aren't looking. And when opening the books you use with him, you'll find post-its with corny pick-up lines. It's obvious he wants you.

You confront him one day and tell him to spend his dedication on studies instead of trying to get into your pants. Jean was being truthful, but at first, you don't believe he'd change like that.

He promises you that he is changing into a better version of himself, and asks you to go out with him if he gets a full score in all his subjects. That seemed so impossible that you accepted the deal.

Jean took it as a challenge, and soon enough, you found yourself on a park date with him. After he spent so many nights studying to get good grades, he deserves some fun right? He even got an internship! And so more dates follow.

As a lover, this man is your devote, and you're his god/dess. He never hangs out without you, I mean never, so you bet you're gonna be friends with his friends too. He goes to fewer parties once he starts dating you.

Jean now prefers more intimate hangouts with you and his friends. He loves movie dates, because it's a win-win for him, as he can get some fun far from campus and keep his hands all around you with no one looking funny at him.

He is very touchy, so expect him to want proximity with you and be very clingy, but he does the most adorable pout when you deny him that you can't resist. Also, being so close to you allows him to lower his head and whisper nasty things in your ear. Meanwhile, his hands "innocently" roam your body.

The asshole knows what he is doing. But don't worry, handling all the teasing is worth it once you get alone in a secluded place and he kneels before you, to treat you good this time.

˗ˏˋ CONNIE SPRINGER ˎˊ˗

I'm not quite sure about his major per se, partially because I think he would not be that enthusiastic about it either. But s4 Connie gives me engineering vibes, especially electrical engineering.

That being said, his main interest is sports and frat life. He's an active and extroverted guy who likes to have fun as much as he can and may go parting sometimes.

He hangs out with Sasha and Jean the most, and sometimes with the other 104th too, making a big and messy group. But I assure you, he is the funniest and most unhinged one, never letting the hangouts get boring. Connie is the life of the group together with his best friend Sasha.

Eventually, he gets a part-time job, and becomes such a hard worker! This is great since he's able to learn to be more responsible and serious when needed.

He meets you at a party. You're in a corner, using your phone. You don't care for the party, but it was your friend's birthday. So, you had to be there.

This little guy didn't even know your friend, but he needed to get his mind off work and his upcoming tests. Eventually, Connie found you by yourself and decided to interact. Connie is not the type to let someone be uncomfortable around, he wants everyone to have a good time.

So he goes after you and stays because you picked his interests, and you both have the time of your life, dancing and laughing from his attics. When it gets too late, he takes you to your home and you offer your phone number in exchange to catch up, and so it begins...

Dating him is never boring. Baby likes to make you laugh, and says that it is the cutest motivation for him to wake up in the morning. He'll get out of his class a bit early to wait outside of your class, he tells you he was bored, and it's true, but he mainly missed you.

He messages you during your classes, sending memes and photos of his friends making funny faces at his teacher, but somehow he never gets caught.

Connie goes to parties with you to show you off to his friends. No one (especially Jean) believes that he got you initially, but after some time with you, they see how much compatible you two are.

If you're tired or not in the mood for going out, he sits with you in the car, blasting nostalgic and cheerful loud music, as you go around campus. Expect lots of sonography while you're walking around.

When you're in his or your dorm, he likes to tell you all about his day, while you guys cook or do some chores together. If you're cooking, expect many food fights ending with cute flour kisses and apologies from him. Connie is not a fan of chores (unlike Levi) but he enjoys spending time with you, so that's a bonus.

Also, please, remind him to study for his exams! He gets forgetful about this kinda of stuff and may get lower grades because of it, or procrastinate if he finds it boring. However, do not study with him, he will not let you, and you'll get lower grades but it may be worth it for the laughs and the flirting.

Look out, or he'll take you to the bedroom as soon as he starts to check you out so focused, so sexy for him. And I'll have to tell you; after he treats you so well, you will not want to do anything other than be lost in him.

˗ˏˋ ERWIN SMITH ˎˊ˗

Of all of them, he's the most obvious to me. First of all, he desires to get multiple degrees during his life, as a curious and cultured guy. So depending on your age difference, you may meet him during his first, second, or even third degree. He thinks about being a professor too, like his dad, but being more of an activist too.

Erwin definitely gets some work inside the university, either as a mentor or helping the faculty. Therefore, he is spending most of his time there. That's how he knows almost everyone around college, or at least most faculty members and talented students.

He is commonly seen with his friends: Levi, Hanji, Nanaba, and Mike, doing plans for hangouts with them. They can range from a simple movie night to an elaborate weekend in a cabin in the mountains.

Usually, the fun hangouts, like parks and trials are planned by Hanji. The active ones are chosen by Mike or Nanaba, such as going out to bars or playing sports. And Levi says that he never wants to go, but he is there anyway. They walk around college together alluring this "veteran" aura, very cool.

For one semester, you'll see him with your favorite professor, Mr. Smith, who you need to talk with. Erwin just stands there, looking so classy and smart that you're intimidated at first. However, as soon as your professor sees you, he introduces you to Erwin, who takes an interest in the project you're developing.

With that, you discover that he's the professor's son, while the older man just looks at you both with a strange knowing look. Erwin offers to help you, with your project, but he probably can't due to his proximity to your professor. He knows that. Erwin is just using it as an excuse to ask for your number, and it works.

Erwin is such a good boyfriend and a gentleman. He always meets you before the morning classes with a warm cup of your favorite beverage. He's such a busy person, with all the classes he is attending, work, and projects, but somehow he always makes time for his friends and you.

Also, he loves planning dates and invites you to the hangouts he has with his friends. Prepare yourself for cute museum dates, and fancy dinners after he gets his salary of the month. He likes to spoil you.

He surprises you sometimes, asking to meet in a random campus location, and surprising you with a sweet picnic under the tree. Erwin states that he's making up for his busy day ahead, and you both sit in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company and maybe a book. That is at least until you hear Hanji's greetings from afar, followed by Levi trailing behind them with a scowl.

Sometimes, you wonder if dating Erwin is a package that comes with his friends as extra. However, be assured that at the end of the day, you'll get your alone time with him behind the sheets. Erwin will make it up to you in a way that'll make you even forget that anyone else exists other than him.

˗ˏˋ LEVI ACKERMAN ˎˊ˗

This guy doesn't even know why he's here nor how he got here in the first place. I mean, he is such a flexible character, I can see him in many degrees but for this multiple headcanon I'll stick with just three.

Levi as a teacher would be so iconic. He may pursue education because he had good teachers before and believed that they helped him take things seriously and not go to "the bad side" of life.

I see him in law pursuing it to be a judge or prosecutor too, he wants to see "rats" (his words), going to jail and will be pleased to be the one putting them there.

Since criminology fits more his persona so well, I don't think I need to discuss it that much. I'll just state that detective/forensic Levi would be the best of his generation. So it definitely an option too.

Enough of flattering him. As a student, Levi terrifies his professors, why? you ask me. He walks into class, sits down, and almost never moves an inch. He does not talk or ask questions. At the end of the term, he'll get the highest scores. He even works in a respected office already! The professors' days are counted... Ah wait that was flattering again? Oh well...

Anyway, he is the scary dog of his group, I mean like those scary little dogs, not the big ones. Levi walks with people twice his side, who together know everyone in college, but he just sticks with the three of them.

It's with them that he passes his free time. It's funny because he may sound like a hater and says that they are glued to him. But it's actually the opposite, he is the one to look after their hangouts the most.

One thing about college Levi is that he loves his coffee and tea. He knows every café in town but doesn't really enjoys the college ones, like the one you've been transferred to.

He only goes there when there is no other option, and says that the coffee is cold and the tea always tastes like toilet water. That is why your coworkers prepare you mentally for the infamous day you'll get to serve him.

The day comes, and you're alone at the counter, you don't even realize that is The guy everyone was so scared about. You quietly hand him his thing, and he goes away just as quietly, and so it becomes a routine. One day he comes with his friends, who are throwing you looks every moment or so (it's just Hanji).

Eventually, they leave. When you go to clean their tables, you see a note on it, it's a number. It's not Levi who wrote it, but Hanji. He didn't allow them to give out his number so they gave theirs. Soon enough, you start to hang out with the group.

And being part of the group means being part of Levi's heart. Your relationship starts like that, evolving from friends, to fwb to lovers. However, Levi treats you like you're his for so long, and you're dumb to not notice (his words).

Expect him to always walk you home. Look at him and you'll see him already looking back at you, then acting as if he didn't. He'll fetch you drinks and food during class recess, and he'll do so much stuff a boyfriend would do to you.

Eventually, he does become your boyfriend. Like I said, Levi already treated you like you were his before it was official, but after it, it just becomes less subtle. He will only get enough sleep when you're in bed with him. Also, your place will be spotless, he says that you can't clean but it's just an excuse for him to do something back.

Levi will stay by your side as you complain about a messed up class you had. He allows you to cry on his neatly cleaned sweater about a failed test. He'll even buy you ice cream while you ramble about your group member who didn't do their job. And like Eren, if someone else were to blame for your stress or tears, he would do something about it.

He never expects you to do something back for him. You being here for him is enough, it's his main motivation for dealing with annoying college life every day.

But if you're really into rewarding him them we will not complain if you get in his lap and be good for him too. Oh, it may even become a competition, as you both pleasure each other for hours after a tiring and busy day.

Like/Reblog if you enjoyed reading it, and Follow for more AOT content 💖

[trippinsorrows]

ltye: in your hands

authors note: welp. here i am, once again. we're back with yet another 'what if' scenario, prompted by you lovely people in an ask that i can't seem to find to link right now. smh.

words: 3.3k

warnings: none. just sam being sam.

song inspo: in your hands by halle

Roman should have stuck with his first mind. Stayed home. Texted her some excuse about being caught up with work. She would have never found out the truth, and even if she did, he wouldn’t have given two fucks. 

Because this shit doesn’t seem to be getting any better. 

This dating thing. 

It’s gotta be at least the fifth or sixth one he’s taken her on, and each one has been just as miserable up until the point where he gets her on her knees, gagging or bouncing on his dick the minute they get back to his penthouse. Anything before that has been irksome, borderline miserable. 

Samantha is stunning. Has been since they were kids, and her body is the most desirable of the women he has on his roster. She leans on the thinner side of what he prefers, but the tits and ass are decent, regardless. She’s also just as kinky as him, which is why they’ve worked all these years.

But, the more “dates” Roman forces himself to power through, the more he’s starting to feel like bedroom activities is where it stops for them. 

Technically, he’s always known this. Even if he did have some level of desire to be in a real relationship with someone, which he doesn't, it would never be her. She’s vain, condescending, and seems to think she’s somehow better than the other women he fucks with.

If only she realized he views her just like he views the rest of the women. A warm body with a wet cunt to help him get his dick wet. 

“Roman!” Her voice cuts through his inner dialogue as he focuses on her cleavage. The dress she wore, short and tight, doesn’t help his desire to skip to the fucking part of this evening. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.” Roman sees no sense in lying to her. “I probably don’t care either.”

She rolls her eyes and proceeds to continue like he literally didn’t just tell her he doesn’t care. “I was saying we should go somewhere.”

He’s partially intrigued now. Mostly because he’ll probably need to set her ass straight. “Where?”

She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t know. I was thinking Bora Bora.”

He shakes his head. “So go.”

She frowns, clarifying. “I said we should go, Roman.”

He scoffs, looking off at the ice sculpture in the middle of the upscale restaurant. A waste of money, in his opinion. “What the hell makes you think I have time to go to fucking Bora Bora with you?” He really wants to ask her what makes her think he would want to in the first place, but he’s trying to be somewhat less of an asshole to see if maybe this could work.

His Wise Man’s nervous voice balanced out with sage wisdom returning to the front of his mind.

“If the Elders are to force you into a marriage, why not with someone you already know? Especially someone who you know would have no issue in giving you an heir.”

If only Samantha wasn’t so fucking annoying.

She leans back in the chair. “You make time for these dates.”

Out of obligation. But, he won’t say that. “Yeah, but I can get my nut and send your ass packing in the same night. Can't do that if we're out of the fucking country.”

“You’re suck a di—”

“I’m so sorry.”

Soft. It’s the first thing that comes to mind hearing her voice. Light, almost. Kind. Even with just three words being spoken. And that’s just based off audio. Visually, Roman’s thoughts take an entirely different direction.

Stunning. 

Roman’s seen, entertained, and done a lot more with some beautiful women in his time, but the one standing at their table seems to have something more than all of them put together. She’s beautiful, easily one of the most gorgeous women he’s ever laid eyes on. And her smile, small but genuine makes him pause. As does her body.

She’s wearing the same uniform he’s noticed on the other waitresses, but none of them fill them out like she does. The white, long sleeved shirt that’s tucked into the knee length black pencil skirt can’t hide the curves he can practically see through the bland outfit. Nice, heavy breast. Curvy hips, thick thighs and an ass he can partially see from the front. 

This. This is his preferred body type. A woman who has something he can grab onto when he’s fucking her from behind. And Roman can only imagine what it would be like to be holding onto those luscious hips of hers while he—

“Oh my god, are you stupid?” Samantha’s annoying voice once again pulls him from his carnal fantasies. She gestures between herself and him. “Can you not see we’re in the middle of something?”

The girl, who Roman would guess is in her late twenties, early thirties at most, immediately looks repentant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—I was just going to apologize for your wa—”

“Whatever.” Samantha lifts her hand, silencing the girl who’s now looking down at her shoes, clearly embarrassed. “What’s the special for this evening?”

“What’s your name?” Roman’s question comes out at the same time as Samantha’s inquiry. However, his voice clearly presents with more of a commanding nature. 

She swallows. “S–Solana.”

Pretty. Just like her. 

Samantha notices the way Roman is looking at her and is fully confused as to why he’s asking this fat troll for her name. She cuts in again, in that same nasty tone. “Hello? I asked you a question.” 

Solana is clearly struggling with Samantha’s aggressiveness, Roman wondering why this bitch is directing whatever unresolved feelings she has onto this innocent girl. “Umm, I think—”

Samantha scoffs, nose turned up. “You’re our waitress, and you don’t even know what the evening special is?”

“No ma’am, I do. I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s been a long day.” There’s a weight to her words, a sadness in her voice and in her pretty brown eyes. Roman notices all of these things and finds himself wondering what the story is. Everyone has one, and hers is suddenly of interest to him. For reasons he cannot understand. 

“Pretty unprofessional to bring up your personal life, don’t you think?”

Solana closes her eyes, pausing before answering. She looks exhausted. Mentally and physically. “It’s Squab. That’s the main co—”

“I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.” Roman rolls his eyes. This hoe has been saying that since they were in high school, yet every so often she goes back to having a normal fucking diet only to switch back to that salad shit. “What’s on your—”

“I’ll do us both a favor and get her to shut the fuck up.” Roman has had enough, both of Samantha’s grating voice but mostly her being a bitch to this girl for no reason. He’s a dick on the regular. He knows this. But, never has he come across someone like this Solana woman who, with just her presence alone, exudes such softness. Like, she doesn’t have a mean bone in her fine ass body. And she clearly doesn’t because anyone else would have probably lost their job by cussing Samantha out. Not that it wouldn’t be deserved.

Roman catches the faintest hint of a smile on Solana’s face as she redirects her attention to him. “Give her the salmon. I’ll take your best steak. For wine, you carry Madeira?” 

She’s pulled out her notepad and finishes taking down the order before answering with a nod. “Yes, sir.”

Roman’s jaw clenches at that sir bit. He could ruin this girl. “What do you recommend?”

She’s visibly taken back by his question, probably by the fact that he’s asking her for her opinion. “Umm—”

“Roman, I can rec—”

“I didn’t ask you,” he cuts that bitch off with the quickness, eyes never leaving the pretty girl before him. “I asked Solana.”

Her smiles widens as she answers in a more confident tone. “Julio Barros…..1950.”

Roman smirks. 

Exactly what he was going to order.

“I’ll take it.”

Their gazes linger on each other a second too long for Samantha’s liking as she cuts in once once more. “You can go now.”

Solana’s smile drops again, Roman suddenly finding himself all annoyed. Her smile is something pretty that he wouldn’t mind seeing more of, though that irritation is waned as he’s granted the view of her nice, round ass and curvy hips swaying as she walks to the back to turn in their order.

Samantha reaches over and touches his hand, Roman snatching it back and sneering at her. “What?”

She sighs. “Baby, I’m trying to talk about us.”

And just like that, he’s annoyed all over again. “There is no us.”

Samantha looks sad only for a brief second. “Roman, I’m not stupid. I know what these dates have been for. You’re trying to see if it could work.”

“If what could work?”

“Us.” She goes on to share. “There’s rumors that the Elders have been putting more pressure on you to settle down and make an heir.” Sam leans over the table, intentionally trying to emphasize her cleavage. It’s nice. He’ll give her that. But, he’s certain it’s nothing compared to Solana though and those big breast of her hers. “I can do that for you. Be that for you. Be your wife. The mother of your children.”

Not a damn thing she’s saying sounds even the least bit desirable. At all. 

“I mean, we’ve been fucking around since we were kids. Why not make it official?”

For a lot of reasons. All the reasons. The main one being Roman don’t like this bitch unless she’s choking on or riding his dick. 

What he does like, however, and finds solace in is the interactions with Ms. Solana as the evening goes on. They’re not very often outside of her bringing the bottle of wine and their food when it’s ready as well as a check-in here or there on how they’re doing.

Each time Samantha sending her the dirtiest look or just being an ol’e nasty bitch, to which Roman shuts down, cutting her off and even telling her to shut the fuck up.

The girl is just trying to do her damn job. And as his eyes locate and land on her on several different occasions, he can see that she works hard. Moving from table to table, almost saddened facial expression indicates she’s on the receiving end of more verbal lashings from people like Samantha.

That actually pisses him off, Roman having to control and stop himself from doing some out of pocket shit. 

Again, for what reason, he hasn’t the slightest clue. He just knows those brief glimpses of her actually smiling, usually when she’s chatting with a coworker, do something for him. 

Maybe even to him. 

And unbeknownst to him, the intrigue goes both ways, because as shitty a day Solana Miller was having, the handsome stranger with the rude girlfriend or wife or whatever has somehow, someway made this day just a little bit better.

It’s been some time, if ever, Solana has come across someone with such a presence about them. Him dining at this uppity restaurant she was able to score a job at tells her that he’s wealthy. His disposition and the fact that he somehow secured it to where the surrounding tables of where he sits have been marked as unavailable tells her that he has pull. But, the way he interacts with her, a literal nobody, she’s not sure what that means.

Especially with the beautiful woman he’s with, because while Solana thinks she’s every bit a bitch as most of the women who come into this place, she’s a stunning bitch. 

Which is why Solana can’t allow herself to believe that that equally beautiful looking man is looking at her in any sort of capacity. 

There’s no way in he—

“Solana.”

And just like that, she's frowning again. “Mami?”

The last thing she expected to see this evening was the sight of her mother, already dressed in her scrubs, baby in her arms. 

Solana’s baby. 

Her 11-month–old daughter, Soraya. 

The shock wears off as Nina gets closer, Solana shaking her head, “what are you—”

Nina shakes her head, face apologetic and tone contrite. “I’m so sorry, baby, but I got called into work. I can’t watch Raya.”

Shit

It's inconvenient, but Solana understands it. She remembers the countless times Nina had no other option but to leave her with a neighbor after being called into work at all kinds of hours. She’s always worked so hard to take care of the two of them when Solana was growing up. 

“It’s okay, mama.” Solana easily reaches for her daughter, a wave of relief and happiness washing over her as she holds and kisses her baby. The source of all her joy. All of the struggle, every bit of it, is worth it as long as she has her daughter. She’d do anything for her. “How was she?”

Nina gives a small chuckle. “She’s like you were and still are. An easy child.” Solana kisses Soraya’s temple. “Sol…..” And just like that, Solana already knows she’s probably not going to like what she’s about to hear. “I know you’ve said you don’t want to go after him for child support, but it’s not fair for you to be out here working two jobs while putting yourself through school to take care of his child.”

Solana holds Soraya just a smidge tighter. “She’s my baby, mami.” 

Nina counters. “She’s his biological child.” Solana looks away, hopeful her manager, Aldis, doesn’t come out and scold her for this little interaction. She’s scheduled to clock out in another half hour anyway. “He should be paying you child support.”

Her mom is right. Solana knows this, knows that it’s not fair for her to have to be the sole provider for her baby girl, while Cruz lives his best life as an absentee, deadbeat dad. And she’s considered on several occasions going to the courthouse to see what she needs to do to get that ball rolling. 

But, every time, she’s haunted by something he said the last time they spoke, not even a month after her daughter was born. 

“Don’t you get it? We were fine before she came in the picture! We could be fine again if she wasn’t.”

Solana’s never been more disturbed than she was to hear those words leave his mouth. That’s why she’s glad he’s gone, that he wants nothing to do with her or his child. Because she would never trust to leave her baby girl with him in the first place.

And if that means she does it without him contributing financially, that’s exactly what she’ll do. 

Solana shifts Soraya from one hip to the other. “I don’t need him, mami.” And she doesn’t. Because if Solana had to resort to sex work to take care of herself and her daughter, it’s exactly what she’d do.

Nina gives a heavy sigh. “Mija, you know I help you when I can.”

“I know.” Because she does. But, the same way that times are hard for her. They’re hard for her mom, too. Everyone’s struggling these days, it seems. Everyone except the rich people who wine and dine without a care in the world around them. “I’ll be okay.”

Always will be.

Nina gives a knowing nod, hugging her daughter and gently taking her granddaughter’s hand, kissing it, speaking in Spanish. “I’ll see you later, okay? Abuela loves you.”

Solana smiles. “Thanks, mama.”

“Always, baby.” 

Nina reaches Solana the diaper bag, Solana placing it on the bar stool, knowing it’s bound to be left alone. These rich ass people would never bother with the Ross purchase. With a final parting smile, Nina is off to the hospital, leaving Solana with her daughter who’s just now waking up.

“Hi, baby girl,” Solana giggles at the almost cranky expression on her baby’s face. Raya is definitely not the happiest camper when being woken up. 

A glance at the time reminds Solana that she technically is still on the clock and really shouldn’t have her child with her. But, with no other option, she accepts she’ll just have to clock out early and take whatever those consequences are.

But before that, the least she can do is grab the bill from the table where the handsome stranger and his girlfriend sat. She’s briefly disappointed to see the table empty, even if she remembers his deep voice thanking her for her assistance this evening as she brought them that same check earlier. 

It’s a silly thing, really. And she tries to push away the disappointment at not properly telling him goodbye. A stranger. 

Silly.

Soraya grasps at the collar of her shirt while Solana walks over to the table, pausing as she gets close enough to see that there’s more than just a bill with a signature. There’s cash. A stack of it. Money in hand, she’s confused, because this man paid with a black card, so what—

“Good.” 

Solana gaps and spins around, her eyes widening as she looks up. He’s a lot taller than she realized, burly body nearly eclipsing her view of anything else, silky black hair in such a neat, perfect bun. “Wanted to make sure you got it.”

Brows furrowed, it’s hard for her to speak for a lot of reasons. One of which is the fact that this man cannot be real. A man cannot be this handsome. But, he is real, and he’s looking at her.

And Soraya. 

“I—” She shakes her head, clearing her throat. “Is this—you already paid—”

“That’s not for the bill,” his voice is so velvety, smooth, and deep. “It’s your tip.”

Eyes widening, her gaze snaps to the wad of cash as Soraya continues to grasp and squeeze her shirt. She doesn’t even need to count to know that this is a nice amount of money. 

Too much.

“I can’t—it’s too much.” 

He chuckles, “do I look like I can’t afford it?” Her eyes roam over his big, muscular build dressed in fine, expensive looking clothes. He just oozes wealth. 

And power. 

“N–no.”

“Dealing with Samantha, trust me, you earned it.” Solana looks down, wanting to hide her small smile. His gaze redirects to the child in her arm. “Who is this?”

And just like that, Solana’s proud smile returns. “My daughter, Soraya.” It’s like Soraya knows she’s being discussed, lifting her little head to look at Roman. A big grin on her face before she buries her face into Solana’s neck. 

Roman makes a sound, and she can almost swear she sees the smallest smile on his handsome face. “She looks like you.”

That creates such a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach, “thank you…..”

He looks at her a bit confused, like her unspoken question surprises him, before answering. “Roman.” Roman. “Roman Reigns.”

Roman Reigns. Even his name is powerful.

It fits him.

Solana shifts Soraya around as she starts to get wiggly in her arms. “Well, thank you, Mr. Reigns.” She’s certain the shock of just how much money this random, rich stranger has given her hasn’t truly set in. Because if it had, she’d have a much more visceral response. 

A lot more.

“Roman,” he corrects. “Call me Roman.” 

“Roman….” 

Something indecipherable flashes in his eyes, something that makes her feel a bit unnerved under his intense stare. It’s broken, however, by her now irritated daughter.

“Mama.” Soraya makes her dissatisfaction at being still for too long known by punching her tiny fist against Solana’s chest. “Mama!”

“Shhhhh,” Solana kisses her temple, trying to quiet her down before someone makes Aldis aware of her presence. She looks at Roman, eyes softening, “thank you again.”

Truly. Honestly. He hasn’t the slightest clue how much this will help her. It’s why she can stand here without anxiety and concern about making it to the bus stop on time. Tonight.....tonight she’ll treat herself and her baby with calling an Uber instead. 

Might even stop and pick up dinner.

Roman nods, eyes briefly glancing at her daughter again, the smallest smile on his face. “I’ll see you later, Solana.” His head dips a bit in acknowledgment towards her baby. “Soraya.”

The smile is plastered on her face even as he walks off without another word. And it’s only a good two minutes later that she catches onto what he said. A certain word in particular standing out the most. 

What did he mean by later?

[1x20]

hello and welcome to my tutorial on how to create gifs like this one! full explanation under the cut, but if you wanted to take a little peek at the gifset attached to this tutorial, here ya go!

for the purposes of this tutorial i am assuming you know

how to make a gif

what vhs footage looks like

STEP ONE: MAKING YOUR GIF

choose your footage and plug it into your desired software of choice! i use photoshop for this so i can only attest to the efficacy of these methods in that context

as for shot selection, you could feasibly choose anything. however, i prefer shots without too much movement in them - makes it look more like a home video.

because of the heavy amount of colors and filters, i'd recommend a gif somewhere around the 40-50 frames! but of course you can play around.

oh i also set the frame delay to 0.08 seconds. this is slower than most gifmakers tend to set theirs, but it makes it run buttery smooth imo.

STEP TWO: MAKING THE COLORING

here's where we get vhs specific. if you're unfamiliar with vhs footage, i recommend clicking through this youtube playlist! if you're not interested in the coloring, skip to step three (smart object fuckery + filters)

now while making a set i tend to choose some primary colors for my gifs. in the gifset i linked above, i chose to work with blue and orange-y yellow. in some of the other gifs i'll be using as examples (from an unfinished set) i chose green and yellow.

to create the above coloring i generally use these steps:

1) curves

i'm a maniac so i use the same curves layer to initially edit the luminosity AND colors of my gifs. the purpose of this layer is to edit brightness/contrast like i normally would and already start the process of changing the colors a little bit. this is my curves layer for the blue house gif:

to make the gif go from the left image to the right image:

as you can see i used the brightening curves to make the footage a whole lot lighter. i also increased the reds to get rid of the cyan tint a lot of blue footage has, slightly increased the blues, and once again decreased the greens to get rid of any cyan. this does make the blue hue a bit more purple, which is a nice bonus!

as for the gif of the boy, that one's a little harder to show a before and after for, but i'lls how the curves for good measure:

the original shot was already quite bright so i only edited the brightness a litttle bit. because i knew i wanted the gif to be green and yellow, i increased the greens, decreased the reds (except in the shadows), and decreased the blues (to get yellow)

2) channel mixer

now the channel mixer layer takes a little getting used to so i recommend experimenting. ALWAYS USE THIS LAYER ON THE COLOR BLENDING MODE for a more even result.

i use channel mixers to sort of... unify the colors a bit more. for the house gif, for example, i increased the blue channel to +110% blue, but decreased the blue in the red (-12%) to retain the yellow in the window.

if you want me to explain this more in depth, send an ask! it'll be kinda longwinded though

before / after of the boy gif with curves/channel mixer.

3) levels

this is where it starts looking more vhs-y! vhs footage has light shadows and dark highlights.

first, set your levels layer to luminosity blending mode to retain your beautiful colors.

then, crunch the hell out of your gif to make it very... mid.

this may feel a little wrong at first but i prommy it'll look okay at the end. a before/after for the boy:

now that's starting to look familiar right?

4) color fill/gradient map

because i want to unify my colors/make sure my gif is saturated, i usually add either a color fill or gradient map layer. in the case of the house, i chose to go with a dark blue color fill:

because the coloring of the boy gif was a little more complex, i decided to go with a brown to green gradient map.

this will make the shadows yellow, and the highlights green.

BOTH THESE LAYERS ARE SET TO OVERLAY. i usually fiddle with the opacity of them until i like it, but it's anywhere from 7% - 17% depending on what i feel like that day

5) curves (again)

this layer is probably useless but i do it anyway to make myself feel better. this is just a regular curse layer to up the brightness a tiiiiny bit and amke sure everything's clear. also it helps counteract the darkness your overlay color will add in.

6) color balance

this is my most subtle layer so i won't be able to show before and after but i fiddle with the color distribution a little until i'm satisfied. set this layer to color blending 'cause that's what you wanna affect!

i decided i wanted the house gif shadows to be a little more purple, for example, so i added in red (+3), magenta (-1) and blue (+1). etc etc. do what feels good!

STEP THREE: SMART OBJECT FUCKERY AND FILTERS

OKAY that was a lot. sorry or you're welcome. but good news: now's the fun part. convert your animation to a timeline, then select both your coloring and gif layers, right click, and select convert to smart object.

now that your gif's a smart object, i usually crop it. i tend make vhs aes gifs a 4:3 ratio (so 540 x 405 px) because that's what vhs footage was usually recorded as! crop your gif, resize, and then we can continue.

1) color bleeding

vhs footage usually bleeds its colors - this manifests as a short of... weird subtle halo around any object. the way to recreate this in photoshop is to duplicate your smart object.

set your copied smart object to color blending. now move it to the side a couple of pixels (i usually do around 5px, but you do you!)

as you can see, the tree and chimney (and everything else but less prominently) have a yellow shadow to them. this is exactly what we want!

2) filters

now's the time to add your filters and make it look like shit (but on purpose!) first, select both smart objects and convert to smart object again. this will ensure the filters apply to all layers evenly.

i use the following filters:

unsharp mask (amt 35%, radius 4px) - this will subtly add some sharpening but only on the edges of objects

add noise (amt 7.5%, distr. uniform, not monochromatic) - this will add the signature vhs grain.

box blur (2px) - i edit this to be 75% opacity with the little arrows to the right, just to make sure you can still make SOMETHING out when you're looking at the gif. MAKE SURE THIS FILTER IS ON TOP OF YOUR NOISE FILTER. tumblr will kill your gif otherwise

4) ONE LAST THING

usually at this point i'm not happy with either the saturation or levels. (usually the levels). so on top of your smart object, add another saturation or levels layer and fuck around!

in the case of the house gif, i thought it was too bright still so i set my output levels to 13 and 216. for the boy, i thought the shadows were too dark, so i set my shadow output to 11.

BEFORE & AFTER:

aaaand that's it! thanks for reading! if you have any questions, feel free to come to my askbox, i'm always happy to explain my process. happy giffing 🥰

[masterwords]

masterwords halloween party

Welcome to my Halloween party!

From October 1st - 31st, I'd like to challenge you to create something with October/Halloween vibes. Anything from a bucket full of sweet treats to roll around in to a total bloodbath. The catch?

It has to be Criminal Minds.

You can write fic (any ship, gen, self-insert, world-building, AU, meta, headcanons, crossovers...whatever you want to craft with words), create art or moodboards or playlists or whatever your heart desires. I want to keep it simple and easy to participate, just have fun.

If you're interested, read below the cut for a list of prompts you're welcome to use, details and a few simple rules!

🎃 Tricks:

As if the case isn't grisly enough, now the hotel might be haunted.

Alternatively: The BAU is haunted

Anderson? There hasn't been an Anderson here in thirty years.

Childhood fear exposed

New fear unlocked

A near death experience acquaints a character with the Grim Reaper

Unsub AU

Back from the dead

Spooky campfire stories

Horror movie AU

Vampire AU

Zombie Apocalypse

The team plays with a Ouija board

"That isn't fake blood."

Power goes out during a thunderstorm

Someone's costume triggers Character A and Character B helps

The entire BAU ends up in a murder castle ala H.H. Holmes

🍭 Treats:

Taking the kids trick or treating

Office Halloween party

Pumpkin Patch/Corn Maze/Hay Ride

Cozy backyard bonfire

Haunted House/Carnival/County Fair/Spook Show date night

Characters make their relationship public with couples costumes

Operation: make Derek Morgan like Halloween

Character A is hurt/sick and has to skip Halloween. Character B brings Halloween to them.

Masquerade Ball

Character A surprises Character B with a sexy costume

The team is traveling on Halloween and makes the best of it

Scary movie night at Reid's place

Pumpkin carving contest

Doing yard work is unexpectedly fun when you have piles of leaves to jump into

Two people show up to a work party in the same costume

Character A relentlessly tries to scare Character B.

I have a bunch more prompts, so if you don't see something here but want something a little more specific you can send me an ask and I'll try to help you out. You do not have to use any of these to participate or ask permission to use them. Just take them or don't, totally up to you. I'd love to help you brainstorm so feel free to reach out! (You are welcome to combine these with Whumptober, Kinktober, etc. Double up! Triple! Quadruple!)

Please note: This is a challenge for you to do the creating, not a list of items to request of me. (I will be participating though.)

👻 Rules:

Must be Criminal Minds. Any character or ship, gen, self-insert, OC...whatever, but it has to be CM. This includes the main show, Suspect Behavior, Beyond Borders and Criminal Minds: Evolution.

Explicit sex/smut is allowed but you must be 18 or older. I will not add your fic to the masterlist or interact at all if there isn't clear indication that you are 18+.

Please warn/tag appropriately

No ship shaming, kink shaming, character hate etc please. This is a Halloween party, it's bound to get dark but let's not be mean!

Please tag me in your creation so I can add it to the masterlist and share it with everyone! (You can post here or send an AO3/other app link, up to you!)

Happy Haunting!

[333creolelady]

Lady Of The Blue Bakunawa Ch. 6

Afab black OC x Roman Reigns (Pirate au)

Banner by : @joannasteez

Warnings: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING. mentions of past child loss, grief, mentions of past child abuse, mention of past sexual assault, mentions of past murder, gore, mentions of past racism, heavy angst (with fluff), hard topics, sex, foreplay (fingering cunnulingus fem receiving) Handjob, description of bodily fluids (cum, arousal), emotionally heavy topics, Includes a creature (a collective) who thrives on pain, religious undertones due to mention of the seven deadly sins, brief mention of not wanting to be alive (not SH), patricarichal views (Jane is unlearning, give her some grace chile).Minors DNI. LONG CHAPTER ALERT.

Songs this chapter: When Ginny kissed Harry, Davy Jones, Avril 14, El matador, Observatory kiss

Alternative playlist songs: Like a star, Decks dark, The Moment I said it, Cemeteries of London, Simply beautiful

Chapter Playlist link here <-

Next-> chapter 7

<- Back to Masterlist

Alternative Playlist link <-

Second warning. This chapter is emotionally heavy. Please consider reading it in two parts if you have to. This chapter has brief mentions of PAST sexual assault mid chapter. There is also a consensual smut scene (foreplay) at the end of the same chapter. If this is too heavy for you I will send you a cliff notes version (just shoot message in my DM’s) Chapter indicators for the SA topic will be <color coded> so you may skip if need be. . Proceed with caution.

Roman

He watches her take a breath and shoot at an empty can floating on a piece of driftwood. Caden had tied to the wood to rear of the ship. It was the best way she could get shooting practice from a distance. Funnily enough, Jane was savvy with a gun. She’d only been practicing for a few days and could shoot pretty well from a reasonable distance. Roman was impressed.

He’d left her for a few moments to set the dinner table inside his cabin. The waters were calm and the warm breeze had made the humidity slightly too sticky. He made light of it, feasting his eyes on the exposed skin of her neck and arms. Warmer weather called for thinner clothes. He would enjoy it for now.

He placed her bowl across from his and plated the food onto a porcelain plate. There were many upgrades on this new boat. Night had a taste for the finer things and had many high priced items hidden on the ship. He seemed to like fine china. Jane noticed his absence and turned around, he beckoned her to eat. She sat down across from him and placed her pistol on the table next to her.

Roman observed the way she handled her weapons so confidently already. “ Like a proper pirate”, Roman teased. She pulled off the extra hat he gave her and sat it beside the gun. She smiled shyly, placing a napkin in her lap.

8 days ago Roman and Jane’s relationship had changed in what only could be described as an explosion of passion previously left unshared. He now would encourage her sword lessons with Adhar. He would teach her how to use a gun and how to defend herself.

And now there was no confusion on whether or not affections would be shared. It was clear as day that they liked each other. He was just waiting for Jane to lean into her desires and initiate more often.

She sat across from him and dug into the food, spooning it into her mouth. He went fishing for her and cooked it. Tropical waters meant better catches of fish.

“ What is this?”, she said with an enthusiastic mouth full.

“ Oka l’a. It’s a dish of my people. Most people prefer it raw but sometimes we cook it for the children or sickly. You get the cooked version”, he chuckled watching her pick up a tiny piece of fish and eat it with her fingers.

“ You made this?”, she said with surprise.

“ Yes. That’s why I was gone”, he smiled.

“ It kind of tastes like coconut too. We used to put coconut in some of our food back in Trinidad. My grandfather used to add it to his Callaloo”, she sighed in content.

“ So you like it ?”

“ I do! You never told me you could cook.”

“ There was never a need to. Always had somebody to do it for me but thankfully my memory is pretty extensive. I’m sure there are a few missing ingredients however. This was my favorite dish my mother made.”

“ You remember her?”, she asked with curiosity.

“ I’m not ancient ”, Roman laughed. Jane just smiled and went back for another piece of fish.

“ Sometimes the memories get fuzzy after so long”, she shrugged.

“ I feel that way sometimes. The food was the easiest thing for me to remember because it was one of the last meals I had. At least that’s what my memory tells me.”

“ So this..raw fish. Your culture eats it a lot ?”

“ Yes. We prepare it in a way. We knew which ones to choose—we could asses how healthy the fish was. It’s very fresh and the children are brought up on it young. We never got sick. Thankfully, now that we’ve moved into more tropical waters, we have healthier fish. I could never eat this from the port. It was would end bad since the water is so filthy.”

“ Lest we want another cholera event”, she joked.

“ Don’t even remind me”, Roman shivered.

“ Do you have any other favorite meals ?”

“ Pork.”

“ Pork? But you can get pork anywhere.”

“ We cooked it better.”

“ How did you learn to cook anyway?”

“ The men cook where I’m from. Especially for big feasts. So young boys learn how to cook from their fathers.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “ Remind me why we aren’t back there instead ? Everything I’ve heard so far is promising.”

“ If you want off cooking duty you’d best say so. Unfortunately my meals are only reserved for you”, he teased.

“ As tempting as that sounds, I can't abandon ship with Caden.”

“ So what’s another interesting thing about your culture ?”

“Our seafaring is unmatched. We were the first people in the world to migrate by boat.”

“ So this comes naturally to you then?”

“ Yes. Especially because all I knew was water even in my life before.”

“ Married to the sea”, she teased. Roman didn’t laugh but instead graced her with a soft unassuming smile.

“And what about you?”, he asked.

“What about me?”

“Is there anything you remember about Trinidad ? Anything at all ?”

“ I remember putting scotch bonnets in our food. We have really spicy peppers—maybe even some of the hottest in the whole world. As a kid, whenever a general was particularly mean to us, we would rub the rim of their mugs with the juices from the pepper. There lips would blow up like fish.”

Roman laughed. “ Mischievous .”

“ Oh you don’t know half of it. Me and my cousin used to get in SO much trouble. There’s a certain kind of fearlessness children are born with. I would never have the gull to do something like that now.”

“ I’m a fan of young Jane. She sounds like she doesn’t take any mess”, Roman smiles.

“ I also remember being able to wear what I wanted as a kid. The culture we created for ourselves didn’t concern itself with layers and corsets and thick fabric. It’s hot. If I left my house with my stomach showing as a kid, people would laugh at my pot belly at most. Women didn’t have to be covered from neck to ankle either—like I said, it’s hot. Our garbs were also very colorful and bright. Then one day there were all these rules. Wear this not that. Your hair should be this not that. Anything else was suggestive or loud.”

“ Well..sounds like a story I’ve heard one too many times unfortunately.”

Jane shrugs. “Well I suppose there’s no point in stewing in it now. You take the good parts and leave the rest.”

“ I would have disagreed with that before I met you but now….”, Roman trailed off teasingly. A smile spread slowly on her face. He had a habit of staring at her unpromoted now. She was convinced he just liked to see her squirm.

She anxiously changed the topic. “How much longer?”

“ A few more days. We’re close.”

“ Days? Good, we have more pressing matters to address anyways.”

“ Like?”

Jane looks down in her lap finding the courage to finally spit it out. “We kiss…”

“Yes.”

“On the lips….”

“Yes I know.”

“And you touch me…”

Roman scoffs in a humorous tone. “How could I forget ?”

“Yes but… usually when that happens there’s a reason for it. Like there’s a purpose.”

“I want to make you feel good. Is that not the purpose for any of it ?”

“What I mean is that we’re doing things that people who are in established relationships do.”

“ We are. Fun, isn’t it?”, he smiled smugly. He enjoyed forcing her to be more direct.

“ I am unspoken for. You have no claim on me and I doubt you intend to wed. I know people see that we are involved no matter how cordial and polite you are in front of others. It’s unbecoming for a woman on a ship full of men to be so loosely claimed, while clearly giving away the very thing reserved for a steady union. I mean what if people think I’m just…kept. And while I think that most of your crew have been outstanding gentlemen to me, they’re still just men Roman”, she uttered quickly.

He raised a brow at her. “ Who said you were unspoken for…?”

She mirrored his face with a surprise of her own. “Uh…well you never said.”

Roman leaned forward with his elbows dominantly on the table across from her. “ My apologies. We are together. Meaning that you are my intended, lover, suitor. Or if you prefer the term courting then that is suitable as well.”

Jane is visibly stunned. She just assumed that any relationship she formed with Roman wouldn’t be a steady one. He wasn’t exactly traditional. “ Courting would mean that you intend to marry…?”

“ So ?”

“ You’re a pirate ?”

“ And?”

Her expression flattened.“ You live in a boat in the middle of the ocean.”

“ Accomodations can be made, don’t you think?

“ I mean yes…”

“ Unless you prefer our connection to stay strictly physical?”, he asked.

“ No no. I was just concerned about how it looked.”

“ How about this…I could make an announcement?”

“ No… it doesn’t have to be some big event.”

“ Well then I won’t hide my affection.”

“ I didn’t take you as a publicly affectionate person.”

“ It’s not like I’ll have my tongue down your throat—without your permission of course. Hand placement goes a long way.”

A mischievous expression spread across her face. “ Well since you’ve declared that we’re courting I’ll have to put you to work more often.”

“ I aim to please Miss Ramlal.”

“ I’ve noticed”, she giggled.

Romans attention faltered when a loud thump echoed beneath them. He stalked to the edge of the ship to see a giant piece of plank wood bumping on against the boat.

“ Look!” Jane gasped.

Behind them a ship splintered into a million pieces laid on the shore of a beach. It looked old and the wood was wet and rotten. The sail was obliterated.

“ Why-has this happened ?”, Said Jane.

“ I’m not sure, it could have been anything. I know one thing for certain though, this means we’re getting closer to our destination.” Roman pulled out his spyglass and further inspected the shipwreck. The wood had chunks bitten out of it as if something attempted to eat the boat.

Worry clenched Roman’s chest as he folded the spyglass and put it back on the table.

“ Room for dessert dove ?”

Jane

3 days of wind and gray skies with absolutely no rain and plenty of thunder, it was unheard of. The air was colder and despite the wind there were no waves. The boat had an almost mechanical float, as if it had feet underneath the hull dragging across the sea floor. Roman insisted that things were moving according to plan. Jane wasn’t so sure.

Suddenly a thick mist filled the air causing Jane to step back cautiously. Jane retreated back towards Roman’s quarters as a huge groaning sound echoed in the distance. A rumble vibrating throughout the ship sent her scrambling for Roman. Sure enough she needn’t look far as he immediately looked for her too, stepping out of his quarters and holding onto her with caution. Something rumbled under the surface of the water completely gray, solid, and endless.

What looked to be a building made of stone or concrete traveled slowly and disruptively out of the sea and into the sky, reaching past the clouds and onwards to the heavens. Water fell from the sides splashing back down to the sea below. Jane turned to Roman with fear, a question already forming on her lips but never making it past them.

“ It’s alright. This is where we’re supposed to be ”, he reassured quietly.

A murmuring crowd had formed now. The building had hundreds of tiny small square glass windows but no light illuminated from them. The shape of the building was rectangular, narrow and smooth. She’d never seen a construction like it. It’s opening was a gaping black hole that she couldn’t see through. Large wet stone steps led to the entrance, just wide enough to put a ship ramp down. As afraid as she was, her feet felt compelled to move forward. If he was going to go then she was coming with him.

“William, Adhar, with me. Jane…”, Roman headed for his cabin leaving the french doors open. The two followed behind him. William loaded his pistol and Adar unsheathed his sword. They sat at the table sharpening weapons and loading their pistols. Roman’s attached two small pistols to his hip. Jane took a pistol for herself and Roman softly took it from her.

“ You should know what you’re getting yourself into before you make your choice”, he said softly.

“Well, let’s hear it”, said Jane.

“The man who gave me the map to the key was rumored to have been the only survivor of the journey but it changed him forever. Every pirate knows that this is rumored to be an eternal prison of all depravity and fear. Here belongs every spirit of corruption—the first of their kind. Some are referred to as fallen angels.”

“ Demons ?”, her face wrinkled in confusion.

“ Aliens, demons..fallen angels. Whatever your persuasion.”

Jane took in a sharp inhale.

“ You do not have to go in. None of you do. I can do this alone”, said Roman.

“No…no I won’t leave you”, said Jane.

“ We stay with the captain”, Said William confidently. No fear.

“ Us pirates have heard the rumors for years about what this will look like…what it will feel like. I fear the rumors have been true. That…this place is every bit of a prison. I don’t know what horrors await us on the other side. All I know is that you will be judged in some way. The myths over the years alter and change.”

“ I understand.”

“ I must warn you that this creature has a fixation for women. Crane mentioned that we may have a better chance of getting the key with you there.”

“ Why?”

“ I have no clue but for that reason maybe you should sit this one out. Fixation could mean anything ?”

“ I’m coming”, Jane said with a gentle firmness. Roman is visibly nervous and holds back on controlling the situation. She can see the wheels turning in his head.

“ Are you absolutely sure Jane?”

“ I stay with the captain”, she uttered.

Roman stood in finality. “ Adhar behind Jane. William at my side.”

The group goes back to preparing their weapons. Hat, boots, long shirts and cotton pants. It was cooler now despite being in the tropics. Jane dressed in Caden’s hand-me-downs, disguising herself as a man as best she could. She was almost sure “fixation” wasn’t a good thing where they were going.

The four of them finished gearing up and made way for the ramp. Caden wished Roman luck eyeing the building with hesitance. Their feet finally touch the wet slabs of the stone stairs leading to the opening. William stands with Roman and Adhar is behind Jane forming a protective shape around her. Jane reaches for Roman’s right hand. He let’s her have it, wanting to give her comfort in some way. She looks back at Caden only to find Adhar staring at their hands with an unreadable expression.

William and Roman take the first steps and the others follow. Their boots echoed into the abyss. A few steps further and they become engulfed in darkness. Then suddenly the dark opening is lit with dozens of torches. They paused when they sensed the presence of another person. A large person–or perhaps it was once a person held a lantern. Large muscles, hooved feet, a tail, long uncanny long arms, and a BULL’S head. Before the scream could leave Jane’s mouth, Adhar covered it. Roman pulled his hand slowly from her and rested his hand on his pistol. William held his hand out, motioning to wait. The bull tilted it’s head to the side watching the group as if to assess them. The Minotaur’s eyes grew darker and wider when they landed on Jane causing Roman to completely pull out his gun.

“ If you want in, those weapons are not allowed”, it spoke with a deep honking barrelous voice. He motioned for Roman’s weapon.

“ The girl needs protection”, said Roman.

“ As does fate. No weapons”, said the Minotaur crossing his arms.

“ Remember what we came here for Roman, it’s fine. We didn’t come all this way for nothing”, Jane whispered.

“ I am the keeper of this prison. I control what goes and what doesn't come out. This is your final warning. Lose the weapons or you will not pass”, the Minotaur warned.

Jane saw the puzzled anger in Roman’s eyes. For a moment she thought he would shoot the damned thing but she rested her hand on his back. With a tense jaw he slowly placed his guns on the ground followed by his sword. The others followed suit. The minotaur watches them for a moment and begins to walk, not bothering to motion for them.

He leads them up a thin and narrow stone staircase with small windows overlooking the sea. There was a wet mildew smell to this place that clung to her nose. The stairs carried them out to a stone floor that held 6 cells on each side. The first creature was something out of a nightmare. It was humanoid with fleshy pale gray wings, an emaciated slim body, large eyes—all pupil, holes for a nose and no mouth. It stood unmoving, eyeing her before placing it’s hand on the invisible barrier that held it inside its cell.

She turned her head in the other direction only to find an even more terrifying creature. There was an Octopus like creature whose skin resembled human flesh with tentacles that had suckers like human mouths. It’s moans sounded like that of a woman’s and an animal mixed together. Her breath hitched and her nails dug into Roman hands so hard that he winced and turned around to face her. The group stopped.

“ Just don’t look Jane”, he reassured her quietly. Adhar placed a reassuring hand on her back looking behind him protectively.

“ Come. They are contained”, said the Minotaur without looking back.

“ Come Miss Ramlal. They look just like my old military unit. Just another walk in the park”, William said quietly in that thick German accent.

They go back to following the Minotaur. Jane keeps her head down to the ground in order to avoid scaring herself again. The only problem is that they would have to travel ten flights of stairs before they reached who they were looking for.

Within those ten flights of stairs the sounds of these…beings were far too intriguing. Some levels were completely silent and so dark it looked like nobody was there. Others were extremely loud with howling screaming monsters. Some of the creatures were violent, banging against their magical traps while others didn’t bother to turn around and see who was there.

She peaked and saw three 4 foot beings with dark grey skin, large eyes, slits for noses, no mouth, long fingers, large heads and tiny child-like bodies. She saw beings that looked like humans with three eyes and mouths full of razor sharp teeth. She saw beings that looked like children with black eyes. Some of them looked like animals that stood on hind legs, some of them were beasts she’d heard of in fairy tales. Lizard creatures, vampires and wendigo. She saw creatures that she’d only heard of in Trinidadian folklore. Douens, Lagahoo’s and Chikcharney’s.

Magic was real. It was a real as rain and it was dark. It was scary. Suddenly she knew without a doubt that the treasure had to be real too.

“ We have arrived”, The Minotaur grunts.

The tenth floor was one long hallway with a stairwell. It was dark. So dark that the torch the Minotaur held looked like a candle light. He snapped his fingers and ten torches lit the room to reveal a cell at the end of the hall. The cell was completely dark as if nothing was there.

The Minotaur turns to them. “ Have you brought them a gift ?”

“ Them? There was no talk of bringing it a gift. Nobody informed us.”

“ They will not speak unless you’ve brought a gift.”

“ I have an apple..”, Adhar says quietly.

The Minotaur hold out his hand awaiting Adhar. Adhar places the apple in his palm. The bull places the apple into a slot by the cell and pushes it into the opening. For a moment it’s just quiet but then a voice calls out. It sounded like a child, a man, and a woman all speaking at once. Like three voices stacked on top of one another.

“Have you met my children? My aspects ?”

“ Children ?” Roman called out the darkness.

“ Yes, they are my flesh and blood and …bone. Created in my image”, the voices groaned.

“ I wasn’t aware,” said Roman cautiously.

“ Perhaps you have read the apocrypha ?”, said a child’s voice. It startled Jane.

Roman doesn’t respond.

“ This is what you were wore that day….it is not ?”, said the child voice. Suddenly the blackness of the glass faded until it revealed a little boy….

Roman

His palms grew cold and wet. The room was hot. There it stood. The reoccurring nightmare that he could never truly out run. Himself.

8 year old Roman stood in front of him in a cotton lava lava, barefoot, no shirt because it was especially hot that day. He’d been playing in the water and his mother finally flagged him down to eat. He ate the last meal he would ever eat from her. He played with his siblings making sand cakes and running around the shore line. Then his life turned upside down.

“ Roman”, he heard Jane whispered to him. He couldn’t even turn around to face her. He was utterly frozen in place. The memories come back to him. His crying, being pried from the hands of his mother, sand burn on his back from being dragged, the screaming, the pleading. Nobody understanding him because of the language barrier. The confusion. The realization that he would never see his family again. The realization that his parents were not invincible and in the end, there was nothing they could do against German occupation. The harshness in the soldiers' glares. The disgust.

“ Or perhaps…this form would be better…”, The creature morphed into his tormentor. Queen Augusta Luise. She stood with a knowing smirk on her face, fanning herself with that imported Chinese fan. She was in her usual dramatic ball gown with an obnoxiously large ruby and diamond necklace. Her hair was in a tight updo with brown hard curls pinned at the top of her head. Her blue eyes cut him as they always had. It had even mimicked her thick accent.

The most gut wrenching, visceral, primal rage came over him. If he ever saw Augusta again he vowed that he would make her suffer. He stepped closer to the cell and the Minotaur reached a hand out to his chest.

“ They can’t get out. You can’t go in. It is written.”

“ What does it want?” Roman urged.

“ Your pain is your payment. If you want the key your pain, secrets, and sins will be judged. There is no prize without punishment.”

“ That hardly sounds fair.”

“ Is it not? You desire a treasure older than your existence. A treasure that can only be held in the hands of a worthy man. Are you worthy ?”

Roman frowned. “ What does my pain do for you?”

“ feeds us..”

Roman frowned, disturbed by its words.

“ We are hungry. It has been many years since we have tasted the sweetness of fruit ... .but the sweetness of sorrow is unmatched. It is dripping from one of you. We could not pass up this opportunity”, says Augusta’s clone with a sickly fake sympathetic voice.

“ Is it really worth it all? We don’t need a fucking key to get the treasure. I’ll take my bloody gun and shoot whatever’s holding the goddamn thing. What does this thing know about any of us?”, William whispered to Roman.

“ William Wright. Prideful William”, The monster morphed into a 3 year old boy with strawberry blonde hair, freckles, large green eyes and a button nose. It’s voice became tiny to match the body it emulated. Jane’s eyes widened in horror as William dropped to his knees in as soon as he saw the boy.

“ Too prideful to spend time with your only son thinking being a provider is more important than being there for your sick child.. Now he’s gone and what do you have to show for it ? A dead General who did nothing wrong but give you the commands you signed up for. Plucking out his eyes in a misplaced fury….”, This monster morphed into a burly man with blonde hair, and a bloody face with missing eyes.

“ Stop this! You know nothing!”, William cried in agony. Jane debated comforting him or staying put. She didn’t want the attention to turn on her.

The creature taunts William in his sons form and voice, leaning against the barrier. “ Prideful William, too prideful to say that he took out his own eyeball in guilt but instead lies and claims that he lost it in a sword fight. William the prideful. Too prideful to write to his wife. You ignore her letters. You let her wallow in her grief alone. Oh…pride is your true love. This sin suits you well. Even now…you cannot face the truth. You refuse it.”

William sat on the floor reduced to tears, head tucked between his legs. How easy this fierce man broke down. Roman’s fierce fighter had self- destructed. A reminder that everyone has something in their life worth crying over no matter how strong they appear.

Roman rested his hands on Williams' shoulder. He looked back up into the cell to see Augsta staring at him with that smirk again.

“ Do you accept..wraithful Roman?”

Roman’s face fell. “ Fine…but not her.”

Augusta twirled her hair playfully. “ If your pain is worth the treasure you seek, then perhaps…”

“ NOT. HER”, said Roman sternly.

“ We shall see. Come …”, the monster said in a gentle voice as it morphed into a young woman with nearly ankle length jet black hair. She had tawny brown skin, thick brown eyes, a wide nose and full pink lips. She was gorgeous… She was his mother.

Roman let the tears happen, he didnt try to wipe them away. It was too painful to claim indifference. It had been many years since he saw her face. His mother– the monster, was crying with him. She placed her hand on the invisible barrier and Roman nearly did the same. He stopped himself remembering that it wasn’t her.

“ She grieved you for a long time. She didn’t believe you to be gone forever. She convinced herself that it was a bad dream and that you were simply lost. But you were not lost.. You had a new mother..”, said the womanly voice. The monster then turned to Augusta again. Anger creeped up on the back of his neck. He always felt anger on his back and on his neck. Now it was no different.

“ Have your lover the fantasies you have of killing your former mother?”

“ She is not my mother..”, Roman sneered.

“ You called her Mommy. You held her hands in yours, appeased her even when she made you beg for a God you didn't believe in. She beat you into submission. So peculiar how hatred can turn into an obsession. You were her little doll and you performed for her for years. Making her believe that her love was the cause for your greatness. Fencing, Math, Polo, Portuguese,Spanish, German, English, Japanese. Star pupil…handsome and muscular. Smart as a whip. Well spoken…they would say. When her back was turned you spat in her food. You stole her items and sold them for free. You cursed her name every night before you closed your eyes. Too afraid to show your rage, too afraid to upset your captor. How she had turned you into her perfect pet, performing at a whim and entertaining her high born friends.Then suddenly she outgrew you. Her little puppy had turned into a wolf and that rage had cracked and broken the seams of your composure. She kicked out her dog..”, The monster taunted. It shifted to his teenage self in tattered clothes.

“ Suddenly the victim becomes the monster. Does she know about the killing spree you went on after she discarded you? Kings guards, high society sweethearts? Anyone who looked at you wrong? You may believe that your anger was warranted but how many orphans did you create ? Mothers you made childless? They called you the Lacerator because of the mess you left behind. Everywhere you went there was destruction and pain. You killed your fellow pirates in ways that would make the devil blush. You killed for money, for greed, for power. Yet you believe that the family you formed in your crew washes the stain of blood from your hands?”

Roman turned to Jane to see a sick look on her face. Would she see him differently after this?

“ You mention no context. Those people saw me as subhuman. Some of them were even ordered to kill me or took it upon themselves to torment me. I did what I had to do to survive”, Roman countered.

“ Not all of them were high born. Some of them were similar to yourself. Class traitor…so dignified in your approach to violence. Does she know that every moment of your life you have a wraith boiling inside of you so legendary that I can feel it through our barrier. You wish to harm me. You wish to harm those who have done you wrong but instead you have pillaged your way to your current riches. The same way the Germans pillaged your people. No amount of blood spilled will fill the hole inside of you. Wraithful Roman. Be hopeful that all this suffering will have amounted to something. May god save the ones you love if you get to that treasure and find nothing but bones and dust.”

Roman watched silently as the monster morphed itself into countless faces…some he remembered and others he didn’t. He could bare it no longer.

“ You got what you wanted”, Roman sneered. The monster froze with the terror stricken face of his last kill. A pirate from Captain Night’s ship.

“ Adhar…oh Adhar....”, the creature groaned in a woman’s voice. It’s figure became that of a woman moaning in pleasure. Gingers, Brunette’s, Black, White, Asian. Fair skinned and Dark skinned. They all moaned Adhar’s name one after the other.

“ They all loved you, Adhar. What is it about you that drives women to madness ? What wound do you press against that makes them feel so unworthy. Or is it you? Is it you who feels unworthy ? Is it you searching for something you never had ? Perhaps it was your mother. She couldn’t be bothered to care about you. She was forced to have you. You barely know the warmth of a mothers love. Or was it your father ? Nothing was ever truly good enough for him. You weren’t a man in his eyes. Kita almost made you whole again. She loved you dearly…”, a soft voice called out. She was undoubtedly south Asian. Green eyes, curly shoulder length hair, elaborate jewelry and an olive complexion. Roman looked back at Adhar to see a watery smile spread across his face.

“ I didn’t have any money. I just wanted to be able to provide for Kita. To give her nice things. To take care of her like a real man”, Adhar sniffled.

“ Instead of stepping up, asking her father for her hand and living a humble life— you rob and steal. You killed the market owner, someone you knew since childhood. You take from your own community. You betray the ones you love for money. They had no choice but to send you away leaving Kita with broken promises and a broken heart. What do you do to ease the pain? You pursue countless women, giving them sweet nothings. They awake to the smell of you on their sheets. Lustful lonely Adhar, so sure he’s content. So sure that he’s simply a kind man. So sure he made the right choice but constantly searching for a woman you’ll never have. Your longing has no restraint. It is so boundless that it has made you envious of the man who saved you from a life of poverty and starvation”, said the monster.

Adhar breathing quickened. His fists balled up in flattered fashion. “I- I- I just didn’t want to be …I didn’t meant to hurt anyone. That was never my intent….”

Then with a sudden turn of events Kita morphed into full lips, brown almond eyes and black onyx hair. Roman looked at himself on the other side of the glass. The monster mirrored him perfectly before splitting itself into a second person. Jane. The monster had morphed into himself and Jane. Roman tensed up not understanding where this was going,

“ Not only are you lustful but you are envious. Envious of affections shared between your captain and your new friend. Envious of a love lost. Envious of the love brewing between Roman and his intended. If you feel that you are unloveable—then you will always be. No matter how much you fuck the loneliness away you are lustful lonely Adhar. Adar the envious”, said Roman’s Doppelganger. It turned to kiss Jane’s doppelganger. Adhar looked sick as he glanced over to Roman and then Jane.

Roman was just as embarrassed as Adhar was. All the speculations he had about Adhar and it never occurred to him that he was jealous of what he and Jane shared. He assumed he just wanted Jane but that wasn’t the case. He wanted what they had. He didn’t know about Kita or much about his life before. Adhar was a newer crew member who he didn’t get the chance to speak with often. He took him in because of his proficiency with the sword.

Roman turned to look back at Jane who was standing behind the Minotaur now. The last time she looked this frantic was the first time they saw each other. William was in a ball on the floor staring at the wall. Adhar looked like he was seconds from cracking. Everyone was a mess. Now he understood what the creature meant when it said pain. Everything about this was painful. Their worst thoughts about themselves actualized.

“ If you don’t mind sir I’ll…be waiting behind the door. Just yell for me? ”, Adhar looked to Roman. Roman nodded in agreement allowing him an early exit.

“ We are done”, Roman says with resistance. For the first time in his life…he was afraid. He was afraid of what came next. He was afraid for Jane.

“ I could stop now but…this treasure that you want. It’s more than just Gold, Silver, Rubies and Diamonds. This treasure would make you the wealthiest person to have ever lived. The monarchies would pale in comparison to you. I have seen nothing to convince me of any of your repentance. If you give me her pain I could feed off it for months. Give me her or you return to your ship and get swallowed by the sea”, the monster hissed. It’s voice was nowhere near the familiarity of a human. It was stripped of any of humanity.

“ She is mine to protect. We will and take our chances. Jane come, we are leaving ,” Roman stalked to her but she stepped back.

“ N-no. No I can do it.”

“ I don’t want this. You don’t want this Jane”, Roman raised his tone ever so slightly. He didn’t mean to but his mind was spinning. Whatever she wasn’t ready to tell him, surely this wasn’t the way she’d go about it?

Jane walked over to him and placed her hands in his in an attempt to calm him.“Do you honestly think that this would be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me? I’m stronger than you think. Besides…it all had to have been for something. There’s nothing that this thing can tell me that I haven’t already told myself”, Jane smiled sadly. Roman nodded and hesitantly stepped out of her way.

Jane

The creature before her was incomprehensible. It was all things horror, despair, loneliness, fear, lust and darkness. It was many things and then nothing at all. Limbs, eyes, many teeth—countless teeth. Many faces and orphases. Its shape took up the entirety of it cell. And then in an instant it mirrored her. It looked just like her, like she was standing in a mirror.

“ I’m probably not in the position to make requests but…would it be okay if William left the room as well as the Minotaur.”

“ fine”, said the monster.

The Minotaur picks up William and throws him over his shoulder, leaving out of the room. Now it was just Roman and herself and this ….thing.

“ Come closer sweet little creature…”, said her doppelganger.

She stepped forward just a few short inches from the barrier. Her doppelganger looked her up and down, walking back and forth from one end of the cage to another in a predatory fashion. Jane didn’t not falter her gaze.

“ I was told you like women ? Why is that ?”

“ Like isn’t the word I’d use to describe you creatures. It’s so much more than that. The essence of a woman is sweeter…their secrets—darker. You are the original sinners. Your capacity for corruption knows no bounds.”

“ I see”, says Jane quietly.

“ Jane Ramlal. Trinidad and Tobago…. September 22nd. Family is gone—I presume it’s from the Spanish and British occupation”, her doppleganger assessed in a detached manner.

“ You have a knack for lying don’t you? Your grandfather taught you reading, writing and arithmetic. Very rare for a girl like you…and to have to pretend all those years to not know a thing.”

“ he did.”

“ Such sadness. It wafts off you. Depressive, even as a child. Fun times were short lived. It’s almost like you were doomed from the start.”

Jane doesn’t respond. There was no need to. She couldn’t change what she was born into. There no point in being defensive.

“ You killed a general with your cousin at 10 years old. You put a scotch bonnet in his drink and it burned a hole in his stomach. I would deduct points for that but he wasn’t a very good man either. Seems like you know how to pick the bad apples unlike your dear friend Roman.”

“ It wasn’t right.”

The creature looked at her strangely as if her accountability was unusual.

“ How hard it must have been for you working for high society. Cruel wives and their vulture husbands. The last 13 years of your life have seemed to blur together. Every day is the same. Work, sleep, work, sleep. No enjoyment, no happiness. It’s as if I’m looking at a loop.”

Jane remained unmoved. “ Yes I only just…started living recently.”

<<<<<<<IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO BRIEF MENTIONS OF SA STOP HERE. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!!!

“ And you are no stranger to the violence of men?”

And there it was. Jane froze and closed her eyes slowly in shame. That’s it… the moment she was dreading. The one thing she would never say. The reasons she told the other men to leave.

“ I am more than familiar”, she croaked.

“ Something was taken from you…more than once. And again fairly recently on this boat taking you the America’s. You wish to not exist..?”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<SAFE.

“ I….”, tears flooded Jane’s eyes. “ I have many times.”

The doppelganger tilted its head. “even now?”

“ Months ago. Not now.”

“ That desire drove you to poke holes into the hull of that ship for months with screws and knives. When the storm came the ship could not withstand it. However, the storm took a violent turn and you were left for dead. You survived by hanging onto driftwood. What a viper you are. You play helpless very well”, the Doppelganger smirked at her.

“ Yes…I did those things”, Jane said stoically. She wasn’t proud of what she did but she felt that she had no other choice. She wouldn’t bother rationalizing it to the creature.

“ You have been given an exit from your suffering. You cannot tell the dark from the light. All around you… endless possibilities. So many women would want what you have. The chance to start over but you are haunted by your past. I give you the sin of trisitia. An old sin long before the seven. Tristia…sorrow..Are you aware of the cure for each sin?”

“ I am not.”

“ For lust it is self control. For gluttony it is temperance. For greed it is charity. For sloth it is diligence. For wrath it is patience. For envy it is kindness. And for pride it is humility. Can you guess what the cure for sorrow is ?”

“ No…”

“ To live. Jane Ramlal…I sentence you to live.”

Jane looked thoughtfully at her doppleganger. The last few months had proven to her that she didn’t know what it meant to live until recently. It wasn’t just surviving like she’d always known. Living…enjoying life. Eating food when you’re not hungry. Not caring about how rich a dessert tastes. Buying clothes for fun. Listening to music and swaying to it. Relaxing and not feeling guilty about it. Being present enough to laugh at a joke. Being admired and not feeling unworthy for it. That was living. That was what she’d been missing for so long. “ Have I…given you enough ?”

“ I suppose. You are worthy of this treasure. You may have the key”, says the creature in a bold flat tone. It shifts back into its original form. Carefully it used their hand to reach inside of one of its many mouths and pulled out a key with a long chain. It placed the key into the slot box, pushing it to the outside. Jane picked up the key and held it in her palm. It was a mortice shape.

“ Only you may wear it. If you give the key to anyone else it will destroy them. Now that you have this key there will be many creatures that do not want you to have it. Keep it safe and do not lose it.”

“ I will protect it”, Jane placed the chain around her neck and tucked it into her shirt.

She turned to Roman and saw such a tired and withered expression on his face. It was as if being here had aged him 10 years.

“ Let’s get out of here”, she said.

“ Goodbyeeee friendsssss!”, the creature hissed.

Roman makes no protest as he leads her out of the room. The Minotaur, William, and Adhar all stood quietly by the stairs. They gathered their weapons and made way for the boat. The bull led them back out to their ship without so much as a goodbye. She walked up the ramp and looked back at the Minotaur standing in the entrance.

Magic was real. It was as real as rain. And it was dark. This..she knew to be true now.

An exhaustion came over her so heavily. She stumbled into Roman’s cabin, kicking off her boots. He trailed behind her placing his weapons on the same table they strategized at. William and Adhar left to go be alone. Truthfully she didn’t want to be alone after something so triggering and sensitizing.

She’d never seen Roman cry and his nose was still red from it. She studied his face thinking about all the things he did. She felt not a single ounce of judgment towards him. He was a bit more morally complex than she initially thought. There was a time in his life that he was unrecognizable compared to the man before her. She understood it all. She could accept that anger for his past. She was still angry about her own past—sin or not.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before he pulled a hidden stash of rum. He sat out two glasses and she chugged the first serving. The second glass she poured on her own, filling it all the way to the rim. Alcohol never really made the pain stop but it slowed down her thoughts. She took another burning gulp.

“ Easy….”, Roman sighed across the table. She sat the cup down and suddenly the tears came. They racked over her heavily and violently. She muffled the sounds with her face in her hands. Roman reached across the table and grabbed one of her hands.

“ It’s alright dove”, he whispered.

“ It’s not alright. I feel. I feel…violated. I feel open. I hate this feeling.”, she sniffled.

“ We all do.”

“ I was never going to tell you what happened to me. Especially on that ship.”

“ Why….”

“ Because men pretend to sympathize…to empathize. They pretend to be good people but they’re not. You tell them your past and they’ll be sure to give you double of it. To make it hurt worse.”

Roman didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure how to.

“ I…have spent so many years trying to come to peace with it. Then the ship happened and it unraveled me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be whole enough again to give you what you want.”

Roman frowned in confusion.“ What do I want ?”

“ What all men want. Real sex. Not whatever game that was a week ago.”

“ Game? That’s how you saw it ?”

“ What could be better than taking the pleasure you want as opposed to spending all your time giving it ? I came and you got nothing”, Jane scoffed, wiping her face.

“ You’re approaching this like some type of payment Jane. Sex isn't some transaction—at least not how I see it. Not with you. I don’t pleasure you in hopes that you do it back. I do it because I enjoy it and nothing more.”

“ I don’t believe you”, she shrugged.

Roman was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. He thought he made his intentions clear.

“ What aren’t I saying to make this better? What am I missing ? How do I take this pain from you ?”

“ You can't, it's already done.”

“ Jane..”

“ I can’t….I can’t go all the way with you right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever enjoy real sex again. And what’s even more maddening is that I experience a desire for you that supersedes any other man I’ve encountered. I crave you in a way that is foreign to me. But I cannot give you the very thing that I’m supposed to. What any woman would. I’m trapped in my body—in my desire. I’m fucked up. I’m…broken Roman.”

“ Don’t say that….”

“ I am.. it’s true.”

“ It’s not true. I want whatever you give me. I want you. There’s so many other options on the table for us. It doesn’t have to be just ONE way Jane. However and whatever we decide to do is for us only. There’s no guideline on this sort of thing. I’m in no rush.”

“ You told me that if I chose you I would be guilty of crime by association. I’m telling you if you choose me—I may not be able to fulfill you sexually in the way that you need. At least not in this moment. That could be days, months, weeks, years. It could be a lifetime if we make it that long.”

“ I’m telling you that there are other ways. I am more than fulfilled right now. I’m fulfilled by your gaze. The touch of your hand. Whatever you’re comfortable with is what I’m comfortable with.”

“ You say that now but what happens when what I give you is not enough anymore? There could be someone else, someone more willing. Someone more beautiful.”

“ You must think my brain is located in my cock”, Roman chuckled.

“ I…I just want it all out of the table.”

“ No seriously. You’ve got to stop with these generalized statements about men. I know the horrors of men. Every person who looks like you and me understands those horrors. What I can say is that I know men don’t always have the best representatives. A good portion of them are shit—even I can agree. And for about a decade of my life I was one of them. But people do change Jane. I changed. I changed even more when I met you. Being able to call you mine is enough. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I will never pressure you. I meant it when I said you’ve paid your dues. I’m not here to cause you anymore pain. Neither one of us needs that now. Especially not after today”, Roman urged.

She carefully took in everything he said. The conviction in which he spoke, the sincerity in his eyes… he was telling the truth. Her gut told her so.

Roman continued. “ You and me—you especially, have been through hell and back. Let us have this one thing to ourselves, for ourselves. Leave the expectations behind you. I’m not your dictator. I'm not here to tell you what you should or should not do as a woman. I just want this, I want us. Nothing more.”

Jane’s face wrinkled in confusion. Roman was a strange bird. Any other man would have walked away—at least the ones she encountered previously. “ That’s not very traditional, you know ? You really truly want this…all my darkness? All my pain? It’s not too much for you ?”

“ In case you haven’t noticed, I’m nowhere near a traditional man. I could ask you the same but who else would understand me like you? You heard about all those things I did in my past and you still look at me like I hold the moon and stars. Like me—an ole’ pirate, has the right to cast judgment over you. I want you and anything that comes with it. The good and the bad.”

Roman gets up from his chair and walks over to her, crouching down to where she sat. Her arms leaned over his shoulders and she wrapped them around him tightly in a deep decompressing embrace. How often do they hug?? Not often, if even at all especially for it to have felt so good. She revels in the feeling, confused on how something so simple had taken so much weight off her shoulders. He pulls away and cradles her face in his hands.

“ I will take your darkness and turn it sweet. This I vow to you. No secret of yours should be burdened alone”, he says.

“ Okay”, mutters wiping a stray tear from her cheek. Why did she always end up crying in his arms? Why was it so easy too?

“ Okay”, he chuckles. He kisses her lips gently and sweetly. Like she’s made of glass. She doesn’t mind it. She doesn’t mind being doted on and revered as precious especially after such a hard conversation.

“ What can I do to make your frown turn upside down ?”

“ I need a hot bath”, she murmured.

“ Okay I can do that . Any other requests ?”

“ More of what you made me earlier.”

“ ahh. The Oka l’a ?”

“ Yes please”, she mumbled face first into his shoulder. All that crying had made her sleepy.

“ Your wish is my command.”

Roman

Much to Roman’s dismay, they stopped on the deserted island with the rotting boat for barnacle scraping. It was necessary to ensure that the ship continued to travel at its highest speed. Barnacle scraping was one of the more annoying facets of being a crew member. In moments like this he was thankful to be the Captain. All that sand and salt water battering against someone while they scraped away with all their might—it wasn’t fun. Rory and Thomas were on duty. He watched them scrape against the hall of the boat, flinging the barnacles into the sand.

He needed to touch land and recenter his thoughts. His mind kept wandering back to all the venom that the creature spat. The conversation with Jane played on a loop in his mind. He had come to the realization that every action he made with Jane was in protest to all the beliefs she had about men. It would be his job to show her better everyday. It wasn’t a hard job but she was resistant to her prior beliefs. He was patient with her.

He let a wave of warmth fill his lungs from his pipe as he stared at his ship from the beach. Should he feel guilty for his anger towards the monarchy? It wasn’t just Augusta that caused him pain. There were many people like her. However, he was angry quite a lot. It was something he had only recently gotten a hold of 5 years ago. He found other cathartic ways to deal with it. He’d gotten into reading again and collecting cigars. He’d even gotten a fucking parrot but every now and then his mind would wonder.

He’d rethink arguments and injustices and dream up something better. A desperate need to be the savior he needed for himself. The thirst for vengeance. The occurring nightmares did him no favours. Sure, he was remorseful of the violence that ensued. His treck to the top of the food chain had been bloody—sometimes unnecessarily. He was bitter for many years. Still, if Roman had no choice but to be removed from his family he would choose being a pirate always. He never wanted the life of a monarch.

This constant battle of being a fierce figurehead and a the gentlest version of himself for Jane was a catch 22. One side of him needed the other, yet his line of work contradicted the very thing he wanted to give her. How much longer could this go on? He would never out run the cruel man he used to be. But he had to make space for the man Jane needed.

The ache for her returned, dull and throbbing like a maddening tooth ache. Ever since he’d nearly left her it seemed like there was a thin long string between them. If he got too far she’d pop into his head and somehow he’d return. He’d have to head back soon. But he needed this fucking smoke.

He undressed her for her bath in his room. She was stunning while clothed and even more stunning naked. It seemed quite redundant after the intensity of their discussion. However she seemed to be fairly comfortable. He kissed her intensely before he left, he could still feel it on his mouth. He liked the way she used his space, it made the cabin feel “lived in”. He could see himself shutting out the world and imagining the captain's quarters as a house on land. She’d be busy doing tasks around the space like a house. There would not be a roaring sea outside and he’d have her all to himself. He would soon suggest the idea of her moving her things into his cabin. There was no use in being apart.

He turned around to look at the boat, realizing he had strayed further away than he should have. He threw his cigar in the sand and squashed it with his foot. He watched the embers burn out in the sand. A distant yell snaps him out of his thoughts.

He can see Thomas stumbling backwards in the distance before getting up and lunging forward. Maybe a fight broke out? Roman starts a light jog back to the boat. Another yell and Adhar appears to be swinging his sword around—fighting? Roman was sprinting now. He dreaded the thought of secret attack but how? They were in the middle of nowhere.

He ran to the other side of the boat to find Thomas sparing with what could only be described as a skeleton. A skeleton?

“ Don’t just stand there! It’s strong !”, Thomas choked. It took Roman a moment to actually process what he was looking at. Not even the creatures in the prison confused him this much. The Skeleton had its forearm pressed against Thomas's neck. Roman grabbed the back of its head and swung it effortlessly to the ground. The bones shattered apart. The two just stand there panting while looking at the pile of bones.

“ How the fuck did you manage to let a skeleton choke you?”, Roman turned to Thomas.

Thomas rubbed his sore throat. “ I’m telling you it was kind of strong. And it’s bones hurt. Bloody thing got me while my back was turned”, he hissed. Suddenly Thomas’s eyes widened. Roman turns around to find that the skeleton had reanimated. This time he pulled out his sword and slashed across it’s sternum with his sword, causing it to fall again.

“ Bloody hell….”, Roman groaned as the Skeleton made yet another attempt and rebuild itself.

“ Just keep it discombobulated. It can’t hurt you if it can’t put itself back together”, he gave his sword to Thomas and stalked back to the ramp.

The top deck was hell. Pirates' backs were being ridden by skeletons in Tang dynasty armor. Rory blasted through a group of skeletons with a roar sending bone parts flying everywhere. Adhar was sword fighting with two skeletons at the same time. Williams fought at the edge of the ship sending bones flying into the sand. Caden used a femur as a weapon warding off approaching skeletons. Each time a skeleton was knocked down they’d reanimate and come back for more.

“ Anybody got a fucking match ?”, Williams yelled with a pipe in his mouth flying a bone down the beach.

“ Don’t even bother they won’t burn, OUCH!”, Earl yelped as a Skeleton bit his ear.

The skeletons that managed to get on the ship held Dao’s. Some of them were rusted by sea water making sharp, rusted, jagged weapons that could potentially kill someone. That’s how Roman ended up in a fight with an armored Skeleton holding a spear. One for the story books.

Jane

She actually didn’t mean to fall asleep in his bed but he insisted that he had work to do. To her surprise she woke up to yelling. She quickly grabbed her pistol off Roman’s table and busted the French doors open to find utter chaos. Skeletons were everywhere and they were angry? Roman fought somewhere in the middle of the deck, throwing Skeleton heads in the air and kicking them off the boat.

An especially tall Skeleton in thick black armor came stomping towards her. Her eyes widened and she lifted her gun at its head, shooting at it in three short bursts. She shot the head, chest and pelvis. It paused looking at her momentarily before collapsing onto itself. Roman turned around, nose flared in a heavy irritation. He storms over to her.

“ Get back in there and close the door”, he hissed.

“ What ?! No. I just killed that thing. It looks like you guys need the help!”, she gawked.

“ It’s not safe t-— wait”, Roman punched the head off a skeleton creeping up behind Jane.

“ They’re trying to stab people with rusty knives. I’ll be damned if you die because a bag of bones shanked you. Go back into my room and lock the door”, Roman demanded. Another Skeleton attempted to swipe at Jane with a spear. He snatched the spear from the Skeleton’s arms causing the bones to disconnect from it. Now an armless Skelton was trying to bite him.

“ I’m fighting. We talked about this. You said I was perfectly capable of defen— HEY!”, Jane scoffs as Roman picks her and throws her over his shoulder like a bag of flour. She scrambles against his hold, beating against his back but it’s pointless.

Roman storms through the French doors and plops her on the bed. She takes a pillow and throws it at him. When she realizes he’s heading for the door she sprints after him. She's a second slower than him and he manages to trap her inside.

Roman

He wraps his belt around the double door handles and places a sword in between them to prevent her escape. He can hear her yelling and beating from the other side.

“ William!”

“ Aye Cap’n?”, he turns to Roman, face drenched with sweat.

“ Do not let Jane leave that room. Do not let anything enter that room. She can’t come out.”

“ Aye”, William stalked over to the door with a pistol standing in front of it.

“ JACKASS!!”, she shouts from the other side of the door.

10 minutes into this “fight” a skeleton had actually managed to slash the skin on his arm. It did nothing but piss him off more. Thomas had retreated back onto the boat with a Skeleton biting his ankle like one of those rat terriers.

“ We need to get off this bloody island!” Adhar yelled in exhaustion. There were over 100 Skeletons reanimating themselves with some rising from the under the sand, crawling from the rotten boat and even coming out of the tree line.

“ Fuck this. Raise the sails. Cortez! Get us out!” Roman yelled, pushing another skeleton down the side of the boat.

They made sail again, throwing the bones overboard. The reanimated bones on the shoreline tried following the boat but fell apart once the water reached their knees. What was left of the skeletons was dumped in the water.

The men sat there panting on the wind deck. This was somehow the perfect way to end a shitty day. Some of them had bite marks, cuts and bruises. Others just looked disheveled.

“ Let me out of here you NOW!!”, he heard Jane screech from the other side of the door. Roman painfully peeled himself from the floor and untied the French doors. Jane swung the door open and pushed Roman. He barely stumbled. Her eyes widened when she saw his arm.

“ You’re hurt”, she held his arm.

“ Just a scratch”.

“ You’re bleeding onto the fucking floor. Earl!.”, She pulled him inside the cabin and sat him down.

Earl came and assessed his arm.“Superficial though I’m sure very uncomfortable. You won’t need any stitches; the cut was clean. Why don’t we get you an astringent, some ointment and a bandage?”

“ I can help him. Why don’t you go relax Earl. I’m sure it’s been a long day for you.”

Earl thanked her and gave her the wound supplies before leaving, likely to go assess his own bite. After a quick wash up, Roman sat at the table with Jane on her knees, pressed witch hazel against the wound. She rinsed it cleaned and dabbed bag balm on the very top.

“ You know you might not have gotten than cut if you actually let me help”, she sighed wrapping his arm with a bandage.

“ It was no big deal.”

“ Oh really? If it was no big deal then why didn’t you let me help?”, she bit.

“ Rusty. knives.”

“ I don’t. care”, she mimicked.

Jane rolled her eyes and sat the bandage roll on the table. Roman unexpectedly pulled her forward in between his legs, leaning over her just inches above her face.

Roman smirked. “ Have I ever told you how cute you are when you’re mad?”

He leaned down and kissed her mouth firmly in a long hum. She stiffened and then softened, swatting at his chest as he pulled away. He chuckled at the pout on her face.

“ You’re not funny”, she whined with annoyance.

“ Maybe not but I have to admit, after all the shit that happened today I never guessed I would be nearly stabbed by a dead guy.”

“ Well…that thing did say that other creatures won’t want us to have the key . I just hope nothing else comes up. Nothing we can’t handle at least”, Jane sighed.

“ Whatever it is we will get through it.”

“ Not if you lock me away”, she frowns.

“ Alright fine. Next time I promise but not if I sense your imminent death.”

“ Fine but you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

“ How ?”

“ I don’t know.”

“ I could always give you a kiss.”

“ You just gave me a kiss?”

“ Not that kind of kiss darling.”

She yawns in an exaggerated manner. “ Maybe with breakfast. I’m exhausted.” She stands putting the pound supplies back in the aid kit.

“ Then… I bid you a goodnight Miss Ramlal.”

“ Good night you stubborn ass”, she drawled on her way to the door.

“ One of these days you’re going to have to move your things in with mine. it’s only right ”, he called back to her.

“ In the midst of you making it up to me, maybe you’ll give me your proposition”, she winked at the door before turning the corner.

Roman accepted that challengeand went to bed with a stiff cock.

Jane

Thanks to her nap earlier she was up tonight. She read, she had a snack, she even tried on new dresses she got back in Port Plado before they left. She was bored. It also didn’t help that ever since their exchange she’d thought alot about that “convincing”. She should have taken the offer.

A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. She gets up pulling on her robe and answers the door. Roman is standing there wish disheveled hair, opened shirt, just trousers.

“ May I come in ?” He asks quietly.

“ Of course”, she moved over to let him sit on her bed.

“ How’d you know I was awake?”

“ I could see a light under your door.”

“ Oh. Right ”, she smiled pulling her robe around herself.

“ feeling okay ?”

“ yes I’m fine. Just a bit restless”, she looked at his trousers and could see a dint. Her belly flipped in excitement but she tried to hide it. He seemed tired.

“May I…..touch you ?”

Fuck it…

“ Ye—-.” before she can even finish the word he ambushes her, covering her mouth with his mouth. He pushes up her dress. They fell backwards on the bed. He pins her left leg to her stomach, keeping her open to reveal her glistening center. He licks three fingers and places them at her clit swirling them in tight firm circles. Her eyes nearly cross as her head falls back. He's so big she can’t close her legs. He props her other leg over his shoulder for better access. She has to cover her mouth from the sudden stimulation. She’s audibly wet which gives away the arousal she’s had for the last few hours. He pulls back to spit on her cunt and then resumes with those firm circles.

“ Roman ”, she sighs.

“Jane”, he mocks quietly.

“ What are you doing ?”, she asks lazily. She knew exactly what but her mind didn’t have enough time to calculate the last 30 seconds.

“ You really do have such a pretty cunt”, he grunted against her mouth. She just sighs softly against them, closing her eyes and relishing in the warmth of his fingers.

“ I’ve been thinking about how it tastes ever since that night. I told you…there are so many ways to get my point across. You haven’t an inkling on what truly satisfies me. I can’t be satifised- won’t be satisfied, unless I can see you crumble in my fucking hands.” His tone was rough and sharper than usual. She didn’t mind it at all. He pulls back to gently but firmly slap her cunt and it ignites all of her pleasure centers. She gasps, Instinctively closing her legs. To no avail she remains wide open to him. Her back bends off the bed as he continues rubbing her clit.

“ Stay right there. You’re doing such a good job”, he whispered. She’s whimpering behind her hand now. He looks down to see a sticky arousal forming around his fingers.

“ You see, if you were in my bed you could yell as loud as you want. Think about that next time because I plan on doing this again”, he sucked her neck. Her eyes rolled around her skull as she gripped his bicep. She can feel her nails biting into his skin. It just makes his hand move faster.

“ Roman…sensitive”, she warned.

“ I hope you know that you’re not getting up from under me until you’re properly ruined”, he chuckles darkly. He flashes his teeth and he can see another dreadful wave of arousal come over her features.

“ You’re not ready to go all the way, that’s fine. I can take that. Take all the time you need but I will watch you cum. Whether I do it for you or you do it yourself. I will watch you shatter every single time Jane”, he murmured against her temple. Her brows scrunch and her lips tremble into a pout as she feels herself coming close to the edge. A true delirium was seeping in as she neared her impending climax. That stage where she’d do or say anything to cum. No matter how bat shit crazy it was. She’d recite the Spanish alphabet if it meant he kept going.

“ Yes ...yes only you—make me come”, she whined hazily. Her entire body had broken out into a light sweat. Properly wanton and consumed by desire. Not caring about her appearance. Raw pleasure.

“ Only me, yes. Say it again”, he says with another quick slap to her cunt.

“ Onl-Oh fuuckk”, she squeaked.

“ Tell me all the filth going on in your head right now. Tell me and I’ll lick you a bit. Tell me what you were thinking about before I came in here”, he taunts in her ear.

“ Y-your tongue. Your shouldersss-shit!”, she moaned.

“ What a good girl you are..”, he pulls away and laps at her clit. His tongue is pleasantly cooler than her heated sensitive skin, which gives her a gush of relief. Yet as quickly as she relaxed, she tensed up at the feeling of his tongue. It poked, flicked, lapped and dipped at the entirety of her cunt, pushing her closer to her release. She was seconds away from coming undone right then but he pulled away to watch her sex. She’s drenched down to the sheets. The longer he prolongs her pleasure the wetter she gets. He licks into her awaiting mouth.

“ You like my tongue?”, he mumbles against her lips.

“ Yes I love it I love it love it”, she chants desperately into the quiet of his mouth. His fingers become more frantic.

He shuts her up here and there with lip locks, sucking on her tongue to keep her at bay. Or he’d pull away just to rest his forehead on hers and watch the way her face breaks up and contorts. H finds her devastating in the height of pleasure—a feast for the eyes. He kisses her forehead as she hiccups underneath him, becoming desperate for reprieve.

“ More ?”, he asks her. She neither nods nor denies, just stares at him with pleading eyes. He pulls his hand away.

“ Open your mouth and say it”, he says firmly.

“ Yes please”, she gushes desperately.

She bucks her hips. He takes his thumb into his mouth, sucks it and places it right on her clit, swirling in fast circles now. Her pleasure becomes more narrowed and more precise. Her head falls back but he uses his other hand to pull the back of her head up, forcing her to look at him.

“ Right here. Right at me”, he says. Forehead to forehead she can see his pupils dilate.

“ I’m- I- I ”, she whimpers. Her words fail her. She’s so close she can taste it.

“ Shh. Just give it to me darling”, he soothed shushing her.

She felt it was her duty to describe to him how good this felt. How mad she was driving her. She almost pitied him for not being able to feel this intensely. So good so…

“ Look at that. So… wet. You see what happens when you keep from it. It’s weeping Jane”, he taunts.

God his fingers... Holy shit his fucking fingers. In her right mind she’d debate if they were better than his tongue. She can only nod as her eyes roll into the back her skull drunkenly. Just what he wanted.

She fists the front of his shirt stretching it towards her, closing the rest of the distance between them.

“ I’m going to cum”, she croaks out in a panic from the force of which she can feel her orgasm sprinting towards her. She imagines it like a train. This would be a big one —just as big as the party if not bigger. She holds onto his wrist in an attempt to brace herself. Eyes wide and filled with worry and desire. There were over 100 pirates just outside that door and the only thing on her mind was how hard she was about to come.

And then her orgasm briefly paused in it’s pursuit of her and she was frozen at her peak for seconds longer than she’s used to. She wants to screech at the intensity. It was agonizing. It was deliciously agonizing. Her climax had her by her throat and it was nearly unbearable.

“ Go ahead, Dove. Don’t need my permission”, Roman whispered softly.

And his words dislodge any delays and fuck her mind. What follows is nothing but pure ecstasy. She contemplates pushing against his chest or biting him to withstand the force. All she can muster up is the bend of her back off the bed. He smashes his mouth to hers but there’s no need. The release is so intense she can barely make a sound. Her hearing gives out and the room fills with dots.

“ Breathe”, he whispers. She goes limp from the lack of air she denied herself.Seconds later he pulls his hand away.

The moment a gust of air pushes past her mouth he eats it, swallowing it down for himself and pulling her into a dizzying sloppy wet kiss. She’s panting heavily looking at him like a crazed man. Then they both look down to see her drenched center glistening against the lantern light.

“ Inside, okay ?”, He asks. She nods.

He gently takes two fingers and pushes them inside of her, feeling her slippery release. The squelch of his fingers brings an inner warmth to her cheeks that thankfully can’t be seen. He then pulls them out and watches her intently as he sucks on them. He attempts to swipe at her clit with his thumb again but she bucks against him, shaking her head in warning. Too much.

He chuckles at her expression and looks down hungrily between her legs. He takes a moment to pull those lips apart to see the wet inside of her. She's pulsating, flashes of her climax still seizing her flesh. He pulls his hand away to grab her chin and kiss her. She groans, feeling the heat nearly return to her core from him.

“ Can you taste yourself on my tongue ?”

She nods almost dumbly. Did she have room for another orgasm?

“ I like the way you taste. If I was in a crueler mood I’d pin you to this bed and eat your cunt until you started wailing. Push you past the point of sensitivity. I’ll save it for another day.”

She’s gobsmacked. Center out and he just looks back down at her.

“ I’m just getting one last look before I go into my cabin and tug on my cock with my fingers in my mouth”, he says in the most casual tone.

She can still see a tint in pants. He begins to pull away.

“ You…you could do it here”, she pants. He pauses.

She leans forward and grabs him through his pants. His eyes closed slowly as if he was hoping she wouldn’t.

“ You said—.”

“ There are other ways, you said so yourself.”

“ Are you sure you’re ready for that ?”

“ I am.”

“ Absolutely sure ?”, he presses.

“ Yes I’m absolutely sure”, she drawls.

“Okay. If you want me to stop, just say the word.”, he slowly reached down to his pants and pulled them down to his knees. He was bare under his trousers which caused his length to pop out and hit his belly button. Her eyes widened.

The length alone was just as concerning as was the girth. She was happy to have chosen a patient man because she would need it. But it was perfect. Tawny colored, with a thick vein in the center underneath. The head was flushed and wet with his own arousal. He took off his shirt. She noticed a slight curve to it when she reached forward and pulled him towards her. His skin was hot and throbbing, twitching in her hand. It almost made her giggle with how reactive his body seemed to her touch.

She pulled her hand away, dipping her hands between her still soaked thighs and spread it onto the base of him. His head fell back, looking at the ceiling in restraint. “Christ, fuck”, he spat. She moved her hand up and down his length.

“ You can fuck my hand…”, she giggled. Something about the sentence seemed silly to her but he didn’t laugh. Instead, he eagerly took her invitation, drawing his hips back to his tip and pushing into her hand. His eyes moved back and forth, up and down her body. She licked her other palm and pressed it firmly around his base, allowing him to use both of her hands..

Truthfully she needed two hands for his length alone. He went faster, which caused the bed to shift resulting in her bouncing. Her breasts bounced up and down with each thrust which nearly sent him over the edge.

He became more eager. It was so obvious he wanted a quick release and she was happy to give that to him. She looked down to see the squelch of arousal in her hand as his cock appeared and reappeared around her fist.

She reached down carefully and cupped his balls. Roman took a fist between his teeth as she massaged them slowly. His composure broke.

“ Tell me where you want it”, he huffed, thrusting into her fist like a cunt.

“ You decide”, she grinned mischievously up at him.

He came with a grunt and settled for her stomach and breasts. His release shocked her. It was the most beautiful thing to see him come undone. It didn’t push her away, it drew her in. The way every muscle in his body seemed to get bigger, the way his stomach contracted, the way his mouth hung open, his eyes, the grunting. She loved every single moment of it. It took her a few moments to notice the wetness between her chest and on her breasts. She looked down and swiped his arousal off her nipple with her finger, placing it in her mouth. He visibly shuddered.

“ You taste really good”, she smiled up at him. He leaned down for another kiss.

She no longer needed any convincing.

————

Hey guys I’m back and feeling better. New chapter by Sunday at the latest.

[mickmundy]

okay so i know i kinda answered this in an ask BUT i really have been meaning to go through my gf and i's chats and find even more of our bushmeds so! ah! let's just think of this post as the dutchiebee medsnip masterpost where i will update with links to tags for each of these the more i ramble!! heh!! the catch-all tag for my personal bushmed rambles is still #medsnip of course, but some of these have specific tags as well! aaand as usual you can feel free to send asks or talk to me about any of these, i'm always glad to babble about them!! hehe!!

“Canon” MedSnip: the medic and sniper in Thou Giveth Fever is just the Main/Default/Canon/Whatever medic and sniper. takes place in same universe right after the comics! i default to talking about them the most!

Dutchiebee OC MedSnip: arlowe and wren! a lot of their story takes place pre-teufort but they eventually become RED’s medic and sniper! ^v^ “canon” red medic and sniper don’t exist in this universe. they’re already dating by the time they wind up at teufort together! we’re still working on a lot of their backstories but i’ll eventually talk more about them/write a fic for them too! ^u^

Vampire Medic/Hunter Sniper: sniper’s a vampire hunter who is hired by old, powerful and big vampire medic to do some dirty work for him. they end up falling for each other… but not before spilling a lot of blood together!

Merperson Medic/Human-Merperson Sniper: lots and lots of versions of this live in my mind but i think the one i'll elaborate on most is mermedic and lonely human fisherman sniper... for their fish parts, medic is a blanket octopus and sniper is a spotted wobbegong!! hehe... i also love the idea of mersnip and human medic, who harvests/researches exotic animal parts and is given sniper as a gift (mann co caught him? who knows) and thinks that sniper is simply too fascinating (handsome) to kill! hoo!

"Priest"-Demon Medic/Priest Sniper: medic was a human that was killed by the church and comes back as a demon set out to destroy it. takes interest in the church that sniper has been a part of for his whole life and begins causing chaos (falling wooden beams, gossip, making people question their faith etc. whatever medic thinks is fun at the moment)... but sniper catches his eye.... they develop feelings for each other..... but sniper doesn't know what medic Really Is.... gasps.... hehe

Researcher Medic/Swamp Monster Sniper: sniper is a werecroc that lives out in the comfy cozy australian bush/marshland (haven’t decided yet). roughs it as a human and also as a crocodile and loves being alone. until one day a very curious “doctor” starts stomping around his secluded slice of heaven in search of/researching the plants and animals of the area (to harvest for his zany experiments of course!)… sniper hates people but this one just seems kind of… Charming… hmm…. !

Cult God Medic/Nonbeliever Sniper: medic is a shapeshifting god/demon/spirit/whatever that thrives and grows in power from the cult that is convinced he exists and worships him. likes toying with them and giving them “signs” he exists and whatnot and loves the praise because, well, who wouldn’t! :-) hoo! buuuut a Certain Denier has caught his eye…! sniper thinks that cult nonsense is a load of crap and doesn’t fall for it. Naturally this makes medic Carnally Desire him and his attention… HEHE… >:)

Old/Retired/Domestic MedSnip: would follow my “canon” versions of them. years and years later, some vague skip of time. the sorrow..,., the sweetness.,., in the Unlikely Event they retire… how might that go.. :) sniper’s fine with aging but medic is NOT. everything can be defied! age! death! isn’t that what you want sniper!! but maybe sniper wants to retire to some small house on the german coast with medic.,., medic can extend his life infinitely with his “devil deal” but what about his sniper.,., who has already died once… but could either of them Really ever retire…? HEHEH.., i’ve actually written a lot of this and i should probably publish it in a standalone fic. very emotional very angsty!!

Unicorn Medic/Pegasus Sniper: EHE this is an extremely self indulgent one but i love it all the same! does what it says on the tin… what if they were ponies!! i’ve talked about it here and posted sniper’s design here! i need to work on medic’s just for the sake of having my own ref sheet to match sniper’s but i talk about him in the twt thread i linked! ^u^ <3 i just love gushing about them because i love ponies!!

[lilacwisps]

colors (i can't see with anyone else)

Ship: Garreth Weasley/Female Ravenclaw Player Character, background Sebastian Sallow/Female Ravenclaw Player Character

Rating: M

Summary:

"I wish I could," she murmurs lightly.

Caught up in the afterglow, Garreth asks, confused, "Could do what?"

"Go away with you."

Or, in which, when it comes to dark magic, love doesn't, perhaps, conquer all. Warning: Angst, smut, cheating of sorts, dark artifact being used for mind control. If you like healthy/wholesome Garreth/MC or Sebastian/MC, you will not like this. Alas, the heart wants what it does, and this one, apparently, wants dysfunction.

ao3 link

Garreth knows it's Ava before he ever opens the door - she always comes to him on moonless nights like one.

"Ava," he murmurs, taking in the sight of her. She is pale and looks so utterly exhausted. Deep shadows under her eyes and in the hollows of her cheeks give her a haunted, vulnerable look, and all Garreth wants is to draw her close, wrap his arms around her and do anything he can to keep her safe. He almost does, but their gazes meet, and the dark gleam in her eyes makes his heart skip a beat.

"Garreth," she breathes out, smiling. His gaze darts from her eyes to her lips - rosebud-rich and almost indecently alluring - and his breath hitches in his throat.

Garreth knows he should send her away - she isn't his to touch, isn't his to love, isn't his to have - and yet he's too weak to do what's must be done. And, perhaps, if he'd ever been honest with himself, he'd accept that a part of him had always craved the things that weren't his. And so he steps aside, letting Ava into his room, thanking Merlin and his lucky stars that seventh-year Gryffindor students all had their own dorm rooms.

And then she's kissing him oh so sweetly - oh so sinfully - and all reservations and thoughts are gone from his mind. His hands are on her waist, and he's pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She is delightfully soft and warm and eager against him, and there is an intoxicating urgency to her kisses and caresses that makes Garreth's head spin as desire pools low in his stomach.

Garreth runs his hands up Ava's sides, savoring the feeling of her body against his and hoping this moment never ends. It always does, of course, and always much too soon to Garreth's liking. Before the morning light, she'll slip out of his room, and the next time he'll see her, she'll invariably be by Sallow's side - at the Great Hall, in his classes, or around the school - until another moonless night when she'll turn up on Garreth's doorstep yet again.

Their stolen moments are the highlight of his days - and his endless torment, all the same. The only way to stop the torture is to end it - but how is he supposed to do that when Ava's so delightfully, intoxicatingly eager every time she's in his arms, when he'd lain awake at night aching for her for so long? Garreth is strong - but in the end, he's still just a man.

He had liked her ever since he first saw her in that Potions class two years ago. Ava seemed so different back then - spirited, and stubborn, and haughty, and so full of life - but something changed halfway through that year. She'd become distant and pliant - almost lifeless - and never left Sallow's side for long. But in their stolen moments, Garreth could almost see her old self again - and for that alone, he knows he can never end this little affair.

Ava's fingers snake through his hair as she deepens the kiss, distracting Garreth from his thoughts. He kisses her back with ardor, with unabated desperation, before gently pulling her towards the bed. If this moment is all that's given to them, then he will make the most of it. She hums against his mouth, shrugging off her school robes as he struggles with his nightshirt. Once it's discarded to the floor, he tries to help Ava out of the rest of her clothes, but his fingers are much too clumsy, and she just chuckles softly as she lets her top and skirt pool on the floor next to his nightshirt. With a coy smile, she pushes Garreth lightly onto the bed - and he's all too glad to fall for her, but not before he grabs her hand, pulling her down with him.

The feeling of her bare skin against his makes dizzying heat bloom in Garreth's chest, spilling liquid fire through his veins. Ava pulls him in for another kiss, slow and sweet, and desire pooling low in his stomach is almost unbearable. When they part, he leans in again, tracing the soft lines of her neck with kisses down to her collarbone - then lower.

He sees the marks scattered on her pale skin - red, and purple, and pink, all vivid love bites. Garreth hates the thought of him leaving marks on her, hurting her in any way. His lips over each bruise - tender, featherlight, almost reverent - as if hoping that he could kiss it better. It's a vain hope, of course, and when he pulls back, the marks are still there, but that doesn't stop him. He wants - needs - her to know that he'd never hurt her, that he'd treasure and protect her with his life if he'd ever had the chance to call her his.

Ava shudders under his touch when Garreth presses his mouth lightly to the inside of her thigh. She shifts under him, impatient, as he leans in to kiss her soft skin again, but Garreth is in no hurry - he wants to savor the moment, wants to see her unravel under his touch. One teasing kiss follows the next as he slowly trails his way up her inner thigh, but before he can taste her, her fingers are in his hair.

"Come here," is all she says, and Garreth cannot deny her - not when she's asking him like that, not when he wants her so bad it almost makes him dizzy.

Garreth moves up, drawing Ava in for another kiss as he shifts on top of her, pressing himself against her heat. They are still for a moment, and then she moves against him ever so slightly, teasing him, and he cannot hold back any longer. His hands move to her thighs, gripping firmly, steadying her. Garreth wants to take this slow - and yet, when he slides inside, Ava's breath hitches in her throat in a way that sends jolts of electricity to his very core, almost enough to unravel him.

It feels so good and so intoxicating, and Garreth has to hold still for a moment, trying to steady his racing pulse. Ava writhes impatiently under him, running her fingers through his hair, pulling him in for a kiss as he finds the right pace. She gasps softly as he grips her thighs tighter when he pushes inside again - and that is all the encouragement Garreth needs.

Garreth picks up the pace - Ava's fingers dig into his shoulders as she presses open-mouthed kisses to his throat, making the heat pooling low in his stomach almost unbearable. His breathing turns raspier, his moves become quicker, more frazzled. She whimpers softly as he plants his lips at the curve where her shoulder meets her neck, and the very axis of his world shifts imperceptibly at the sound.

She shudders against him, her release catching them both off guard, leaving her flushed and breathless. She exhales his name - half a plea, half a prayer as if he's the only one who matters to her at that moment - spilling warm honey through his veins, which is enough to send him over the edge.

Garreth settles on the bed beside Ava, trying to catch his breath. He drapes his arm over her - a gesture of affection she never denies him - and takes in the sight of her. Bright blush blooms on her cheeks, breathing life back into her face, and Garreth cannot help but smile. He notes the shadows of her long eyelashes, the curve of her mouth, and the small scar on her right cheek and tries to commit these details to memory. He never knows if this will be the last time she comes to see him, making the moment all the more precious.

Distantly, Garreth wonders how she manages to find her way into his dorm room on the nights she comes to visit - Ava's a Ravenclaw, and members of the other houses are not exactly welcome in the Gryffindor Tower. He tried asking once, but she never explained - only smiled that rosebud-rich, mysterious smile. He is still curious but does not press her - Hogwarts has more than enough secret passageways where even a lifetime would not be enough to discover all of them.

Ava places her arm over his, ghosting the back of Garreth's palm with a featherlight touch before holding his hand. The simple gesture makes his heart beat staccato.

"Marry me," he says suddenly before he even knows what he's saying.

"That's new," Ava chuckles, turning to him, a glint of amusement evident in her dark eyes, "Was it that good today?"

His heart still races in his chest as Garreth lifts up on his elbows and meets Ava's gaze. He hates the thought of pulling his arm away from her, but he needs her to listen.

"I'm serious. Marry me once we graduate in June. We could go anywhere - as far away as you'd like. You don't have to stay here…" Garreth says earnestly.

You don't have to stay with him, he doesn't say.

Though it breaks his heart, Garreth can accept that Ava may not want to be with him. But what he does not - cannot - accept is that she wants to be with Sallow. He'd seen her around him - and every time, she seemed like a pale, lifeless shadow of her past self. That isn't love - it cannot be.

Ava holds his gaze for a long moment before a sad smile blooms on her lips.

"I cannot," she replies, "You know I can't."

But he doesn't know - at least, not the whole story. Ava has never been particularly forthcoming with the details whenever he tried asking about her relationship with Sallow and why she stayed with him when being near him seemed to drain the very life out of her. Still, over the months of their secret meetings in the night, Garreth slowly started piecing together a part of the picture.

"I wish I'd understood better just how dangerous certain kinds of magic can be," she told Garreth one night as they were basking in the afterglow, "It tricks you in a false sense of security, makes you believe you can control it - and when you learn you cannot, it's far too late."

"Ava, what happened?" he asked her then, concerned, "What did you do?"

A small chagrinned smile spread on her lips, "I was too self-assured and naive, and so was he, or, at least, that's what I thought, but now I cannot help but wonder… We should have listened to Ominis."

"What kind of magic are you talking about?" Garreth asked her then, feeling a cold wave of dread rise in his chest.

He remembers Ava holding his gaze for a long moment before she finally answered, "Dark magic, Garreth. Possibly the darkest there is. The kind that creates bonds that cannot be broken."

The memory still makes Garreth shudder. He knows nothing of dark magic - despite his love for general mischief, he'd never had any intention to cause anyone actual harm - and he doesn't know how to help her. She isn't cursed that much is for certain - he'd used the spell that Natty taught him to check - and she isn't sick, but in his heart of hearts, Garreth knows that something is wrong.

She'd spoken to him of bonds, but every time Garreth saw Ava with Sallow, it seemed less like a bond and more like a noose on her neck, squeezing the very life out of her. Meanwhile, Sallow appeared to be just fine, his usual arrogant, brazen self. The only thing that stood out to Garreth was that he'd never let go of Ava - whenever the two were together, which was almost always, he'd drape his arm around her shoulders or hold her hand or have his palm resting on her knee…

An unpleasant, burning sensation uncoils in Garreth's chest. He wonders if Sallow had ever noticed the changes in Ava - he must have, there is no way he didn't, anyone who loves her would have… Does he love her?

"Why?" Ava murmurs, distracting Garreth from his thoughts.

"Huh?" he asks, confused.

"Why…why would you ask me to leave with you?" she says, not looking at him, "You have your whole family here and your friends - I cannot imagine it would be easy for you to leave all that behind."

Garreth's heart races in his chest, and a hot blush rises in his cheeks. He wants to tell her what's been weighing on his heart, but words don't come to him.

"Because I cannot bear seeing you like this," he says finally, taking her hand and pressing a light kiss to the back of her palm, "He is draining the life out of you. I want, more than anything in this world, for you to be happy and free - and if that requires being away from him, I will go with you anywhere, to the very ends of the earth."

"Thank you," Ava chuckles airly, still not meeting his gaze, "But I would hate to inconvenience you that way."

"I'll gladly do it, without a second thought," Garreth insists ardently, holding her hand - he needs her to believe him, "Just say the word. If there is anything at all I can do to make you happy - I will because…because I love you."

Ava looks at him, wide-eyed and surprised, and his heart drops. There is an unmistakable sadness in her eyes and something else that Garreth cannot quite describe, something that almost feels like longing. Time stills between them as silence fills the room. His heart is in his throat, and his mind scrambles frantically for something to say, but before he can, she's leaning in and kissing him soft and slow and sweet. Garreth kisses her back ardently, desperately, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her on top of him.

He hasn't exactly thought this through much further, but then Ava pulls away, arching her back as she runs her fingers through her hair, pushing the tousled strands out of her face, and his body eagerly responds to the sight in front of him. She smiles, leaning in for another kiss as she shifts against him in a maddening, teasing motion. A second later, he's gripping her hips, steadying himself against her.

"So impatient," she chuckles, but the sound instantly becomes a gasp as he pushes inside.

Garreth lets her be in control this time, to set the pace. It seems she is intent on a delightful sort of torture - to move just fast enough to let him savor every moment and yet just slow enough to leave him needy, desperate for more. He runs his hands down her back, resting them on her hips, before taking over the movement, setting his own pace.

It is not long until they are both flushed and panting, moving together in a desperate search of their pleasure. Garreth reaches over, taking Ava's hands into his, intertwining their fingers, making her lean forward. Her face is inches away from his, her long dark hair tickling his skin as he rises to kiss her. When she gasps against his lips, it is entirely too much - a hot, dizzying feeling spills through his veins as pressure pools in his lower stomach, and Garreth knows his release is near.

What follows is a burning pleasure so bright it leaves him breathless, and for a blissful moment, his mind feels empty as he lays back on the bed. Ava lies beside him, letting Garreth drape his arm across her again and pull her close. He feels her light touch ghost his skin, and when he looks, he sees her tracing patterns on his arm with her fingertips.

"I wish I could," she murmurs lightly.

Caught up in the afterglow, Garreth asks, confused, "Could do what?"

"Go away with you."

There is resignation in her voice that makes his heart drop and his chest clench. He cannot bear seeing her like this. Whatever bonds those were that tied her to Sallow, they will keep tightening like a noose, squeezing what's left of life in her, of that much Garreth is certain. He may not understand the intricacies of the dark magic that Sallow and Ava dabbled with, but his aunt had always said that at its very core, dark magic's all the same - its sole purpose to destroy both the victim and the wielder.

"It's…it's because of the bond?" he asks, despite knowing the answer.

Ava only nods, her fingers ghosting lightly over his arm, tracing invisible patterns.

"Then why…" Garreth swallows, his mouth instantly dry, "Why do you keep coming here? Doesn't the bond…"

His voice trails off when Ava meets his gaze. She's quiet for a long moment, her fingers still tracing his skin.

"I come here," she takes a deep, shaky breath, "Because when I'm with you, I almost feel like myself again…because if I still could give my whole heart where I will, it would have been yours."

Ava smiles then, soft and slow and devastated, and for a moment, Garreth wonders if that's what madness looks like.

He'd thought he was ready for honesty, but Ava's words utterly shattered his heart. Pulling her close, he holds her tight, gently running his fingers through her hair as if trying to console her - but Ava isn't crying.

When he was a child, he always enjoyed fairytales - the sort where a hero went on a long, dangerous journey, all to rescue a fair maiden from a villain. In the end, the hero and the fair maiden would invariably share a true love's kiss that was bound to break all curses and heal all hurts. And yet, the older he gets, the more Garreth realizes that life is not a fairytale, to his sorrow. He must have kissed Ava at least a thousand times, yet she is as deep in the throes of whatever dark magic held her as she's ever been.

And yet, he cannot stop, not when he sees bright blush bring life back to her face, not when he spots a glimmer of her old self as she smiles at him. Still, he is powerless in the face of the magic this dark. A devastated smile spreads across his face, and Garreth gently squeezes Ava's hand, bringing it to his lips, pressing featherlight kisses to her fingers, hoping and praying that she'll understand - it is an act of despair.

[yuukei-yikes]

why do you hate the 2nd manga route?

WHOA WHOA HEY HEY HEY WHOA HWOA WHOA WHOA HEY HEY MAN LETS TALK ABOTU THIS HEY HEY WHOIA *acts like im being robbed*

i DONT HATE THE SECOND MANGA ROUTE I DONT I DONT I DONT i really dont. the more i deny it the more it seems im lying but i truly dont hate it LOL its just..... VERY different from the regular routes and im. very. particular. about things changing from what i am used to. my friends keep linking me to something called the autism test but dont worry about it

and while i was reading and seeing the story i am so, so used to and SO, SO obsessed with be so different i was very. not super happy about it. after noticing it was some sort of origin story i kinda started liking it though. i keep saying shit like skip it and etc because i wouldnt call it beginner friendly likeee i rly would place this route as the LAST kagepro thing to consume out of everything else lmao NOT BECAUSE I DISLIKE IT but bc like A LOT FUCKING HAPPENS its so difficult to keep up with it and also i read it once and it was a while ago so. idk i might be misremembering and it might not be that confusing but nah im pretty sure anyone can agree with me. it differs a lot and its like a lot happening

.......BUT. there IS one thing. i do fucking hate. like truly truly hate. and makes me just be like eugh to the whole route because they just DONT. GET. SOMEONE RIGHT. AND IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING. INSANE. yes baby. im gonna talk about harutaka. more particularly takane. lost days happens to be the only bit of second manga route ive reread a few times too and i have very. very. very strong feelings about it. UNDER THE CUT THOUGH. IM NOT SO EVIL TO MAKE U SCROLL THRU IT <3

(warning spoilers for second manga route lol also lots of swearing and me being. honestly an annoying person. dont take my yelling to heart please i am just very passionate) (and when i say you or call u stupid i do not mean you as like the person sending the ask or anyone reading. imagine im talking to a wall i just need to get my feelings out)

TAKANE WOULD NOT FUCKING KILL HERSELF IF HARUKA DIED YOU IDIOT PIECE OF SHIT IM GOING TO RIP ALL MY HAIR OUT I FUCKING HATE THIS SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH AND ALSO IDIOT THEY WOULD NOT JUST NOT SEE HARUKA BC SHE'S LIKE OMG HE HAS ANOTHER FRIEND BWAAAH BWAAAAH ARE U STUUUUUPID ARE YOU STUPID ARE YOU ACTUALLY STUPID INSIDE OF UR HEAD.

everyone: omg vinnie u must be so happy with the harutaka in second manga route they reunite theyre so cute

me: *throws up inside a bag*

ok. let me make exactly 3 points.

1. haruka and shintaro become bffs4ever in the regular route too. haruka and takane are friends BEFORE haruka and shintaro become close in the regular route too. haruka and takane meet secluded, just the 2 of them with only each other, BEFORE haruka and shintaro become close in the regular route too. there is. absolutely no fucking reason for this takane to just be THAT insecure about haruka having a new friend. like absolutely none. what is the reason. that she's not in the hospital anymore? that she doesnt meet shintaro alongside haruka? that ayano isnt in the picture? none of these things should MATTER to make that big of a change. the only thing i can imagine is the fact takane sort of has to leave the setting where he's usually at arms reach to haruka and she felt replaced? but that's like such a reach and it MAKES NO SENSE. AND SHE WOULD NOT DO IT. TAKANE WOULD WALK IN THERE WITH ITS SILLY LITTLE GIFT BAG and even if they did get jealous/feel insecure, he'd do it AFTER FUCKING WALKING IN AND VISITING HARUKA. real takane would NOT LET ANYTHING come between them and seeing haruka. u are sick in ur head and its WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. takane would be happy haruka has a new friend even if she doesnt like shintaro. her "selfishness" as they'd call it to see haruka would be stronger than any kind of "waaa im no good for him he has another friend i better leave then he HATES me" girl no lmao takane's desire to be by haruka's side will always be stronger than any insecurity. this is fundamental to the whole fucking "haruka i love you" thing. it is fundamental to ene and shintaro, bc she feels this kinship over being a "selfish" person. idiot. ugh. this pisses me off so much.

2. takane. would not. KILL HERSELF OVER HARUKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY. WOULD KNOW. HARUKA WOULD WANT THEM TO LIVE THE LIFE HE CANT. AND EVEN IF THEY DIDNT KNOW SHED END UP REASONING IT. hi. headphone actor. have u read it. have you. hey. TAKANE DOES NOT WANT TO DIE. even if the world was ending. takane would not. want. to die. takane wants to live. id add the screenshots but tumblr wont let me add pics in my huge insane text but its in the second novel last headphone actor chapter, azami(?) tells takane even if they go back out the daze there is no place left for her and takane says that's fine, they'll find somewhere. they will make a place for themselves. takane would NOT. kill itself. especially not because of someone else. even in a world where no red eye shit happens and haruka dies of his disease naturally and takane would still just grow up without him. ofc itd hurt like hell and it'd mourn her like crazy but they wouldnt kill themselves over it. oh my god. u fucking UUUUGHHHH IT PISSES ME OFF SO BAD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HER AT ALLLLLLL IM GONNA EXPLODE. yuukei quartet where the healthy pair wanna kill themselves but the unhealthy pair wanna live so bad *my descent into madness is complete* anyways. TAKANE WOULDNT COMMIT SUICIDE. also its fucking ridiculous that they'd do that and end up involved in the red eyes shit by the PURE COINCIDENCE that they kill themselves that day over something unrelated like LMAO thats fucking stupid and love interest syndrome shit dont you DARE do my guy enomoto takane like this. dont you DARE. TAKANE. WOULD NOT. COMMIT. SUICIDE. LET ALONE. OVER. HARUKA.

and 3. take ive read maybe twice but have made me so angry theyve burned a place in my heart waiting for the day i could get an excuse to get it out is... people saying the harutaka in this route is the best because "takane doesnt treat haruka badly like she does normally" erm. ur an idiot. GOD i fucking know the whole tsundere punches crush trope fucking sucks but honest to god anime DOES THAT and everyone in universe takes it lightly bc ANIME. DOES THAT. and its obviously not as SERIOUS as it would be in real life and i will tell u what we do we IGNOREEEEE it bc it adds fucking nothing. like get some fucking nuance come on we got a whole other character like kido telling her brother who was beat as a kid that they wont stop punching him "for his own good". i think we can realise when the writer is being stupid instead of being like yeah these people that dont exist are bad people and abusive. girl no like just stop theyre fictional, someone is WRITING THEM.

and in hs takane's attitude towards haruka in regular routes is grumpy, YEAHHH OFC and theyre snarky and rude and pushy and whatever u want but also god hes a 17 year old with a stupid crush and yknow WHAT I LOVE about them which is HOW i got so obsessed with these 2 in the first place. that theyre friends first and foremost. its always shown and said takane is haruka's most direct support and something that fucking irks me in some fan content is takane being portrayed as this blushing mess that cant talk to haruka GIRL u dont UNDERSTAND THEM. theyre best friends. takane is normal to haruka even if she gets flustered sometimes. like... idk yknow how in the sixth novel i think its like the first lost days chapters where takanes chewing haruka out for not drawing anything yet and generally being a huge bitch but like. thru the whole thing she's described as like smiling and sorta just fucking with him. bc theyre in a truly ridiculous situation and yeah haruka doesnt receive it lightly he thinks shes being harsh but like wow. takane is a flawed character who would fucking imagine do u want a fucking medal like thats THE POINT why do u think this bitch just swallowed her feelings and shit and like shintaro drowned in their guilt and self hatred for 2 years. are u serious. obviously takanes attitude to haruka in highschool isnt the best but also that is the POOOOOOOOIIIIINNNNTTTTTT. why do you THINK she feels so much self hatred. and also despite that THEYRE BEST FRIENDS WHO HANG OUT AND LOVE EACH OTHER and haruka thought highly of her and adored her and ough ok this is about takane dont get me started on haruka but like. yeah she is harsh and silly abt its crush but theyre best friends first and foremost is nice to him and usually people like when people are nice so haruka likes her. there's loads of instances where takane is as nice as they are in the second manga route. so jot that down.

takane's love interest syndrome in second manga route. literally the most tragic thing in the world. i do ADORE the goodbye she has with shintaro like that bit is genuinely one of my all time fave kagepro moments and it is from this route but second manga route takane during the prequel bit??? absolutely fucking TERRIBLE. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HER LIKE I DO. NOOOOO ONE. AND HAVING THIS "CANON" SHIT TREAT THEM THIS WAY MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. i hate it so much to the point yeah i could say i fucking hate the second manga route. like i just wrote this huge ass text that i spent *looks at time*a whole hour writing so im all fired up and ofc when i calm down im gonna say waht i said at first like No i dont hate this route bc truly i dont but i hate this takane thing so fucking much i might as well just hate the whole route. do not fucking mess with my blorbo. i didnt have it under the microscope for 10 years only for you to do this to it.

manga: i give you haruka pov!

me: YAYY

manga: in exhange of takane getting love interest syndrome <3

me: WAIT WHAT

[writelikeademon]

Charmed: I May Never See the Light (2/?)

Piper/Leo, Paige/OMC

1997: Before she can be killed by the Source (who only did so to protect the Charmed Ones), the Vampire Queen sends her favorite child Leo to kill the sisters before they come into their powers. But the balance of good and evil in San Francisco is severely tilted when Leo turns Piper into a vampire...

Nearly four years later, Prue is an experienced witch and vampire hunter. After rescuing a girl named Paige, Prue is forced to work together with the demon Belthazor to take down the Vampire Queen's favorite minions, and prevent a vampire apocalypse. See Ao3 link for tags and warnings.

Leo pointed to a photo on the wall just behind Piper’s head, of the three sisters at Prue’s college graduation. “Three sisters, huh? Where do you fall in line?”

“Dead center,” she said tightly, doing her best to smile without gritting her teeth. “Do you have siblings?”

Leo’s smile twitched, like he wanted to make a joke but thought better of it. “Lots of them. I’m from a big family, but… I’m not into group dynamics, really. Sometimes you just want to live your own life. Do you know what I mean?”

Piper nodded emphatically. “I’ve shared everything with my sisters since the day I was born,” she said with a snort. “I’ve never had anything that was just mine.”

“Neither have I,” he said. Their eyes met– and Leo felt as if his dormant heart skipped a beat. Who is this girl? All Leo knew was that she was destined to be a Charmed One, and that meant she had to die.

He took a step closer to Piper. Leo took in the scent of her shampoo, the cosmetics lingering on her skin, the sweetness of her lip balm… but the minuscule amount of blood dripping from her thumb blotted out the other scents and focused his senses towards the hunt. He wanted her, and it had been more than two hundred years since he’d been denied anything he desired.

Read More on Ao3

[isabellehemlock]

Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Hi Sarah!  Thank you so much for sending this ask - I forwarded it yesterday morning (and thank you @thirdspin for sending me one back, I tagged ya so you can see the respones here, too 🤗), and then had started to answer this one but then my app crashed!  SOOO going to try to type it up again lol.  I figured I’d focus on mainly fandom stuff this time around (though in no order), but I do mention my excitement for the 12 days of Christmas at the very end if you - or anyone else - would prefer to skip that (I’ll put it under a cut)

1. The @lmzine

I’m reblogging and seeing posts on my dash now that the exclusivity period has been lifted, and it’s so lovely to see a collaborative and creative group project come full circle after months (I think I put some feelers in a server back in Feb?).  And I’m so very humbled and grateful by the support it received every step along the way - from our merch artists (@tinkspins @amyvalhalla @ceraunos) and C. giving me blog graphic feedback, to A. for the running a zine feedback/insight, to @beepbeepsan who helped proof my words in case either my bilingual brain (or the excitement from my NDcodeness) made my verbal capacity glitch lol.  And of course, the dozen contributors who helped bring it to life, and the 30+ backers who helped fund it, and all the people who helped hyped it along the way - and getting to donate to PPP on Luca's birthday.  It really was a labor of love, but also a lot of fun, and I’m so glad that people are enjoying it.  We don’t always get to see the fruits of our labors, and sometimes that can be discouraging but we truck on anyways - but nope, not me, I have been blessed to see the full circle of this one, yay! <3 

2. IWTV

For anyone who has followed me for the last two and half years, you’ve seen me fall head first into the IWTV fandom lol.  I joked about it here - but essentially it’s true, in that I’m a sucker for the intersectionality of queerness and faith (projecting?  Me??).  And though of course all takes are valid, there’s so much more symbolism, and directness when it comes to religion in the fandom, where instead of crumbs, I am feasting - and I’m living my best life lol (I wrote about that, and some of the meta topics I'd love to write up soon, but my app is glitching trying to put two links in one paragraph 🫠)

Of course the interesting caveat here is, that if it weren’t vampires, I wouldn’t be able to watch this show - I semi-joked about that here, too - but hey, loopholes, am I right? . . . As for what speaks to me the most when it comes to the fandom, I’d say for sure the religious aspect, but also the diversity, history, and found family - which really isn’t all that different from the TOG fandom, but I think with better digital boundaries in place, and all the filtering lol, I’m able to curate my experience in a way where I can just focus on the hobby portion of fandom :)

3. The @iwtvbigbang

So one thing about me that most people see fairly early on . . . I don’t do anything half-assed lol.  Like, blame my NDcodeness, blame my grief history, whatever you want to call it, but I am a seize the day type of person.  I love intently and intensely, I never want to take anything for granted, and when I’m in - I’m in lol.  Now mix in my absolute joy for digital organization, and bringing people together to collab on creative projects, and I am already having a blast over here lol.  The open call applications are still open for another week, but the discord server has been made for cheering on during the creative process, I’m reaching out to the mod applicants next week, and things will be picking up steam next month.  However I’m also aware that intentions don’t always line up with impact and though the desire is definitely there, I’m very much a servant-style leadership kind of person, and am very grateful for extra insight and tips that @werebearbearbar passed along so I can hopefully bring my A-game to the project.  

At the end of the day, I want to nurture creativity and community and help as many people as possible feel uplifted and confident in their projects 😊

4. The PH

I don’t want to go into too many specifics when it comes to this server, because this is a public blog after all, but I’m very very grateful for this online space of friends and feel cozy and safe and have a lot of fun - very fortunate and blessed beyond measure, especially during the homebound months, to have pocket friends to sip hot chocolate with and VC chat and craft and watch new movies with and just yeah, it's a lovely space for me - and my hope is to send little virtual thank you cards for end of the year reflections <3

Now onto the rl happy lol

5. 12 Days of Christmas

I’ve spent some three-ish weeks in Advent mode, doing my devotionals, abstaining, etc etc etc . . . and after tonight, it’s the TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WOO-HOO!!  We’re decorating down here, getting things ready, and I’m looking forward to spending the time in joy, and warmth, and love and singing carols, and studies, and rejoicing, as the world goes a little more quiet (normally my brain itches at quiet lol, but I mean in the sense that no one else wants to do anything haha, so I have more time to dedicate to spiritual time vs running around and offering it up in hopes it counts lol).

[pornoge24]

For example, go online and type in casual dating with girls

Hey, lovely people with the most basic needs! As you can guess from the name of this topic, we will be thoroughly discussing sex, where to find sex, how to stay safe, and much more. As you know, in our modern society, casual dating has become a part of the culture. It is common to prefer casual encounters over traditional relationships that entail boring relationships that many people try to avoid. Traditionalists will never be able to understand why we choose casual dating over serious relationships. Luckily, you are not one of those people, so you can skip the boring part and jump directly to the useful part. Want? Nightclub Dates

A nightclub is a place where you can leave your safe

 Bubble and relax and have fun. It's an entire culture. Different niche nightclubs cater to different people. Gay, lesbian, black Nightclubs are places where you can have a drink and party. But it's also a place to find a casual date for the night. If your main goal is to find someone to have sex with and you don't want to be in awkward situations or ask questions like "What now?" or "What's your name again?", this is the place for you. But there will always be some obstacles in your way. That said, nightclubs are overall a great place to find a casual date for a night out. But it might be a bit difficult, given security and expectations. So, if you decide to take this approach, be careful.

 Try casual dating sites

Even if it seems obvious enough that you want to wander around nightclubs looking for sex, other options will always present themselves. For example, go online and type in "casual dating with girls near me." A huge list of dating sites will appear on your screen. And if you're looking to avoid embarrassment (or if you're someone who's been told "no" too many times in one night), online casual dating sites are your best friend. Oh, and you'll still get "no" on dating sites. But the same situation will not happen with the girls you were flirting with, seeing you approach the girl next to you and laughing. This is certainly an embarrassing situation, but with dating sites, you can avoid this. Did someone say "no"?

Is it easier to find a casual date on a dating site than in a nightclub? Yes, it is true. Finding a casual dating partner at a rave party is a fun hunt. But looking for someone to have sex with on a dating site is like looking for pizza at Domino's. However, there is a much greater variety of profiles on dating sites. Speaking of safety, make sure you don't lose your trunks just talking to people online (unless you're a fool, who I hope you are, and I'll give you some safety tips to help you later). That said, casual dating sites have search features, GPS filters, and countless profiles of people who came for the same reason as you: casual dating with no strings attached.

Avoid generic dating platforms

Okay, so above we talked about using dating sites, security, and boobs. Here's where our tips come in handy. When browsing dating sites, don’t choose generic sites They only want your money and are not at all interested in your sexual desires. Use only reputable and trustworthy casual dating sites.

 They have redirects. That means when you click on a link, it always redirects you to another URL.

They don’t have a free basic membership. Most of these scam sites don’t allow you to sign up and create a profile for free.  Scum sites have no features. Most of them are created to make money and don’t bother to create a real dating site. Some copy all the features, but there is no real human in the chat.

Annoying pop-up messages – Usually, if you just signed up for a dating site, you may receive messages from “interested women”. Come on, guys, turn on your logic. If you don’t take the time to set up a profile description and photo, no one is going to send you direct messages.

Attend parties and festivals

 Parties, festivals, and social gatherings are similar to nightclubs during the day (and sometimes at night), only more glamorous and probably with a wider variety of music. These places are also good for meeting people with the same sexual interests in a slightly more relaxed environment than the blaring music of a club.

[pornoge-blog]

For example, go online and type in casual dating with girls

Hey, lovely people with the most basic needs! As you can guess from the name of this topic, we will be thoroughly discussing sex, where to find sex, how to stay safe, and much more. As you know, in our modern society, casual dating has become a part of the culture. It is common to prefer casual encounters over traditional relationships that entail boring relationships that many people try to avoid. Traditionalists will never be able to understand why we choose casual dating over serious relationships. Luckily, you are not one of those people, so you can skip the boring part and jump directly to the useful part. Want? Nightclub Dates

A nightclub is a place where you can leave your safe

 Bubble and relax and have fun. It's an entire culture. Different niche nightclubs cater to different people. Gay, lesbian, black Nightclubs are places where you can have a drink and party. But it's also a place to find a casual date for the night. If your main goal is to find someone to have sex with and you don't want to be in awkward situations or ask questions like "What now?" or "What's your name again?", this is the place for you. But there will always be some obstacles in your way. That said, nightclubs are overall a great place to find a casual date for a night out. But it might be a bit difficult, given security and expectations. So, if you decide to take this approach, be careful.

 Try casual dating sites

Even if it seems obvious enough that you want to wander around nightclubs looking for sex, other options will always present themselves. For example, go online and type in "casual dating with girls near me." A huge list of dating sites will appear on your screen. And if you're looking to avoid embarrassment (or if you're someone who's been told "no" too many times in one night), online casual dating sites are your best friend. Oh, and you'll still get "no" on dating sites. But the same situation will not happen with the girls you were flirting with, seeing you approach the girl next to you and laughing. This is certainly an embarrassing situation, but with dating sites, you can avoid this. Did someone say "no"?

Is it easier to find a casual date on a dating site than in a nightclub? Yes, it is true. Finding a casual dating partner at a rave party is a fun hunt. But looking for someone to have sex with on a dating site is like looking for pizza at Domino's. However, there is a much greater variety of profiles on dating sites. Speaking of safety, make sure you don't lose your trunks just talking to people online (unless you're a fool, who I hope you are, and I'll give you some safety tips to help you later). That said, casual dating sites have search features, GPS filters, and countless profiles of people who came for the same reason as you: casual dating with no strings attached.

Avoid generic dating platforms

Okay, so above we talked about using dating sites, security, and boobs. Here's where our tips come in handy. When browsing dating sites, don’t choose generic sites They only want your money and are not at all interested in your sexual desires. Use only reputable and trustworthy casual dating sites.

 They have redirects. That means when you click on a link, it always redirects you to another URL.

They don’t have a free basic membership. Most of these scam sites don’t allow you to sign up and create a profile for free.  Scum sites have no features. Most of them are created to make money and don’t bother to create a real dating site. Some copy all the features, but there is no real human in the chat.

Annoying pop-up messages – Usually, if you just signed up for a dating site, you may receive messages from “interested women”. Come on, guys, turn on your logic. If you don’t take the time to set up a profile description and photo, no one is going to send you direct messages.

Attend parties and festivals

 Parties, festivals, and social gatherings are similar to nightclubs during the day (and sometimes at night), only more glamorous and probably with a wider variety of music. These places are also good for meeting people with the same sexual interests in a slightly more relaxed environment than the blaring music of a club.

[chronicangel]

Sinking

Link to this fic on AO3. Words: 2088 Date posted: September 22, 2019

Summary: "He left us, Chōji!" She doesn't see it, but based on his sharp inhale, she can picture the way his eyes widen and his breathing pauses for a moment. "He didn't even say goodbye. Didn't he know how much that would hurt?"

He leaves.

Without even giving her a real goodbye, he leaves, on a mission to Suna that she is told may take anywhere from a week to an entire year. She runs to the gates at five in the morning on the day that she knows he is due to leave with Temari, but Izumo and Kotetsu just frown at her with furrowed eyebrows and explain that they left an hour ago. The irrational, over-emotional part of her brain questions, Was he that desperate to avoid seeing me?

For the next month, she goes to the gates every day, sitting with her knees pulled to her chest and just waiting for him to show up.

She hasn't skipped a meal in nearly a year, but it's so easy to settle into the routine of not eating breakfast to head to the gates first thing in the morning and just wait for hours. For the first week, she allows Chōji and Asuma-sensei to drag her away for lunch or dinner, though it is almost always only one or the other. On the last day of the week, she eats so quickly to get back to the gates that she makes herself throw up right in front of Izumo and Kotetsu and the two of them finally send her home, telling her to rest so she doesn't make herself sicker. She spends the whole time worrying that this will be the day that Shikamaru gets back and he will find that she wasn't waiting for him.

After that, she doesn't let Chōji or Asuma-sensei drag her away anymore. It is wasted time, and perhaps her stomach is grumbling by the end of every day and perhaps when she gets home she passes out from how much her stomach twists and burns with the desire to eat, but if it means that she will not miss when Shikamaru returns then it is worth the discomfort. After the third day in a row of Ino refusing to go to lunch with Chōji, he hesitates a moment and then sits on the ground next to her, and she stares at him with wide eyes because Chōji has never turned down an opportunity to eat in his life-- she knows because she's been there for all of it.

They settle into a routine, shortly. He will come with an armful of bags of chips, of which she will only eat a handful while he happily munches on the rest, and he will walk her home when the sun has been set for hours and she will let him because the chances of Shikamaru arriving in the middle of the night are rather slim, anyway.

"So," he says around a mouthful of chips, and she doesn't have the energy to make a face this time at his lack of manners. You're the one from a noble clan, why are you the most socially clueless one on this team? She grumbles to herself in the back of her head. "Why do we do this every day, anyway?" He asks, and she opens her mouth to answer immediately but he cuts her off. "I mean, I know it's so we can greet Shikamaru when he gets back from his mission and all that, and that's cute and sweet and whatever, but why are we doing that? He's gone on missions without us before and we've never bothered." She doesn't know how to explain that it's because she's maybe-probably in love with their teammate, nor does she particularly want to, so she just stares silently at the horizon for a long time while thinking about what she can say.

Eventually, she settles on, "He's never been on a mission that could take an entire year before, though, Chōji. Imagine if he came home and he thought... he thought that for that entire year we'd just forgotten about him." It leaves a sinking feeling in her stomach, and it doesn't feel wholly like the truth, but it is enough to settle Chōji and stop him from asking questions for the rest of that evening.

A couple of weeks pass and Chōji meets her at the gates every morning. Then, he misses a day. Misses two in a row, then three, and then he doesn't meet her at all anymore, and she furrows her brows and curls up at the gates but does not say anything.

After the first month ends, she stops going to the gates. Shikamaru does not even write to her. It has been an entire month and she hasn't received a single letter from him, a single scroll. Why does it matter if we've forgotten about him, if he doesn't even pretend that he's thinking about us? Why should I care about him when he doesn't extend the same courtesy? She tells herself that's why she stops going, but it doesn't feel quite right. The first morning that she decides not to go to the gates, she runs into her father downstairs, and he seems legitimately surprised to see her. "Oh, is Shikamaru already back from his mission? That's funny, I was just talking to Shikaku earlier this morning and he didn't mention anything..."

"No, he's not back from his mission, Dad," she says, inwardly cringing. "But, y'know, I'm a ninja too and I figured it was time to stop wasting my days waiting around for Shikamaru when I could be training or getting missions of my own from Tsunade-sama. Speaking of which, I should probably go now. Love you, Dad!" Her father just nods after her as she rushes out the door, and she doesn't realize until she's already reached the training grounds that she totally skipped breakfast. Well, it's too late now, she decides, and instead focuses all of her attention on training, throwing every kunai and shuriken she has on her person at the training dummy, and once she's out of those, throwing kicks and punches at the wooden figure until her knuckles bleed.

The days continue like this for a long time. She begins to develop callouses on her hands from how often she punches the wood, and subsequently loses more and more body weight until she's all muscle and bones. Occasionally she goes on missions with Asuma-sensei and Chōji, but it's mostly errands. After all, the Hokage has no use for two-thirds of the InoShikaChō trio. They train together even more infrequently-- Asuma-sensei seems to have taken this as an opportunity to see more of Kurenai-sensei, and Chōji has always hated training just as much as Ino did when they were younger, so he doesn't exactly do it when their sensei isn't making him.

Shikamaru has been gone for three months the first time she passes out while training. One second she is throwing a kick and only a little light-headed, and the next she is on the ground. She had forgotten, apparently, how much energy is sapped out of her when she isn't eating. Still, it doesn't mean she starts again. When she wakes up, she launches herself right back into training, punching the wood over and over again until she is panting and her knuckles have split open again despite the rough callouses on them.

She had been eating once every week or so, after training with Chōji and Asuma, but now at least forces herself to have a few bites of the leftovers of whatever her father has for dinner every couple of days, when she plans to do any particularly intense training. It is not really enough to sustain her, but it is enough that she doesn't die, enough that she doesn't pass out whenever she spends more than an hour training, and that is all she needs.

Two more months pass like this. Shikamaru has been gone for six. She ends up in the hospital.

A full day passes before she wakes up. She doesn't even know what she is doing here. She only knows that when she wakes up, Chōji is the only other person in the room, and she stares at him with bleary eyes that are already filled with tears. Her stomach burns. "What were you doing?" He says without even looking up at her from where he stares at his hands, his voice dangerously low.

"I was training," she says weakly, defensive despite how tired and guilty she feels.

"You were starving yourself," he corrects, finally lifting his eyes to glare at her, and she winces. "One second Asuma-sensei and I are preparing to throw kunai at you because you told us, you swore to us, that you could catch them right out of the air, and the next second you're on the ground." She glances down at herself for cuts or scrapes before he says, softer, "We hadn't even thrown them yet, Ino..."

She sniffs and tries to ignore the thousand silent questions he is asking her, tries to ignore the pleading look in his eyes. She has never been very good at ignoring Chōji though, really. Not on purpose. He is too warm, fills the room with his presence too well. Really, he is one of her best friends. Not as close to her as Shikamaru or Sakura, but a constant presence in her life nonetheless. She doesn't know what she'd do without him any more than she does Shikamaru.

She can feel her own tears trailing down her cheeks, hot and wet and entirely too salty, so much so that they make her eyes sting. She squeezes them shut to compensate as she sobs, "He left us, Chōji!" She doesn't see it, but based on his sharp inhale, she can picture the way his eyes widen and his breathing pauses for a moment. "He didn't even say goodbye. Didn't he know how much that would hurt?"

"He never says goodbye before a mission, Ino. He probably doesn't even think about it."

"But this one was different!" She cries, finally prying her eyes open to see Chōji's brows furrowed in concern. They are the two emotional members of their team. Shikamaru always thinks with his head, going through life with an almost lazily logical approach. It's like emotions just take too much energy and so he has opted out of them. Asuma-sensei, on the other hand, is likely a balanced being of logic and emotion, but he's also very private. She has never seen their sensei cry, nor has she ever seen him particularly angry. Chōji is the one who is so violently emotional, and he's the one who's always understood her depressive episodes and her quick temper and her... everything. Shikamaru completes her, balances her, and Chōji guides her, motivates her to be better by being the same and better all at once.

He has his fists clenched at his sides now, and she doesn't know if he is angry with Shikamaru or her but she doesn't know if she wants to. She has seen Chōji truly angry so few times in their lives. He has always been jubilant. Always been happy and kind. She is hot-headed, but he is simply warm. Simply pleasant. He offsets the both of them, Shikamaru and Ino. He brings out the best sides of both of them. It is easy to whisper her true fear to him. "Were we not good enough? Was I... Was I not good enough?"

He stomps closer to her and now she stares up at him with wide eyes even as she knows he would never do anything to hurt her. Would never even upset her on purpose. Still, he grips her shoulders with bruising force and she stares at him in fear because she has no idea what he is going to do.

"Are you stupid?" He murmurs after a moment through gritted teeth. She flinches. "Is that why you've been doing this? You've been starving yourself and training 24/7 because you think that's what Shikamaru would want?"

At this point, she can see tears welling up in Chōji's own eyes, and she can't nod or shake her head or say anything because really, she doesn't know why she's been doing this. It was just so easy to fall back upon. When she did not have Shikamaru to comfort her, she could comfort herself by becoming better. She could always be thinner and stronger and just... better. When she just stares at him for a long moment, eventually he squeezes his own eyes shut and lets his tears spill over and pulls her close.

"You idiot..."

[zoophagist]

13! :3

send a number for a spotify wrapped lyric starter! #13: 'Gethsemane' by Dry the River

Ebb tide in the Master's interest. It corresponds to depressive, sour mood in Renfield. At these times, when the trickle of His gifts dries up and the hazy awareness of His presence evaporates into a crystal clear  e m p t i n e s s  around him, that Renfield doubts. No, not doubts. He doesn't let himself go that far. But he worries. His calculations in his little black book become more frantic and scattered; he loses hours staring at walls and the single, barred window but not seeing them. These are the moments he has to wonder... did he do something wrong? Did he anger his Lord? Or is this a test?

The doctors have as many questions during these periods as he does, though about meaner, infinitely more stupid things. They try to map every spark of rage, every backslide into despondency, and he knows they'll never get to the heart of things because they see only the shadow cast by the most important character in this scene, not His full nature. Asinine inquiries. At least they are appeased that Renfield shows an improved appetite for the slop they feed him (and with no other food, no LIFE to sustain him, what else can be expected?).

So he feels little desire to put on a show, to be the interesting lunatic today when Miss Elise pays him a visit. (He asked Hennessey what exactly was the nature of the lady's contributions to the establishment but, perhaps in retaliation for Renfield's insistence that he would only speak to Seward that day, the doctor did not deign to give him any answers.) Indeed, he doesn't meet her eyes when she asks how he is feeling. How is he feeling? He is wallowing, and all his interests seem to have chilled: the notebook cast aside, the games with doctors left unplayed, the mania of religion stilled and deflated.

He abstains even from rambling on the importance of his own agony. His veiled reply to that unkind kindness — how are you feeling? — seems to skip along with his thoughts past all the pleasantries and contexts he doesn't have the patience for. "Suffering has always been linked to the divine. There's a parabolic story..." He sighs, "but it's boring. And it ends how you'd expect."

[isyancialtan]

((GUYS IT’S 3:30 IN THE MORNING BUT I FOUND A SUBTITLED VERSION OF THE NURELLA SCENE AND IT IS EVEN FUNNIER THAN I EXPECTED :’DDDD

(Nurella and Deniz at a cafe table – Asli hurries out with their tray)

ASLI: Ms. Nur, I’m sorry.  I’m a big fan of you.  Welcome, you brought us light.

NURELLA: Thank you, dear.  At last, I see a great face, I just don’t have the courage, Deniz.

DENIZ: Nurela, just try it, you’ll have the pleasure of knowing him.  (calling across café)  Sarp! (to Nurella)  I have an excellent husband for you.  (Nurella shakes her head)

SARP: Deniz hanim?

D: This is our master chocolatier.

(Nurella turns – she is SMITTEN :’DDD)

N: Merhaba.

S: Merhaba. (kisses her hand)

N: The copy of Judd Lou.  (Jude Law?)

S: Yeah?

N: (coyly) That proportion, that shoulder, the hair like a flame.

(SARP FLIPS HIS HAIR, laughing)

N: Simple and rebellious style.  Like the stars themselves.

S: Thank you very much.  (FLIRTING x10) You haven’t tried my dessert.  What do we do?

N: (echoing) What do we do?

S: (FLIRTING x100) Just a moment.

N: All right.

(he runs off – Deniz and Nurella laugh – ASLI IS FILMING)

D: It’s like I told you, isn’t it?  How to flirt!

(Sarp comes back with a tray – Asli is taking a selfie)

S: With permission – for you.  (sets down a dessert)  Let’s see if you like it.

N: (takes a bite)  I don’t like it, it’s bad.  (Sarp and Deniz exchange Looks)  Just kidding. How is it possible?  It’s very good!  Deniz, I have to say it: the birds have flown, baby.  Actually, this dark day, you’ve painted the colors for me, boy. Thank you.  (gives Sarp the flower from the dessert)

S: You’re very kind.  Thank you.

N: Thanks to you.

(Sarp kisses her hand)

D: He deserves a star, doesn’t he?

N: All the stars for him.

S: Now I’m leaving.

N: (pulls him back) Don’t go!

D: (laughing) Oh, Nurella!  Thanks, Sarp.

S: Have a good day.  

(he goes to kitchen – Nurella gazes after him)

D: Just like I told you, right?

N: (shakes head) Bomb!

(Deniz bursts out laughing)