#I can potentially avoid severe mental health issues by taking a nice little break every week

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I keep shabbat because I've seen what being overworked has done to my (secular jewish) mother and I do not want to fall down the same path that she did. there's plenty of other reasons of course, yet this is a huge one because I've seen what too little relaxation has done to people i love and I know I could easily become that if im not careful. and now that she's retired ive seen how much better she is when she lets herself rest. Im too much like her to think that I can get away with never truly taking a break

[traumatized-motherfuckers]

CPTSD and Core Beliefs (Your lens, built on traumatic fuckery)

Alright, so you know I have this Patreon thing that I try to make worth your while in return for your economical help. One of the benefits is the good ole’ monthly ask me anything. And I love it. Because the questions are great. And they push me to dig into topics that I was procrastinating. This month’s AMA is a particularly good one! A question that needs to be addressed, anyways. So it’s perfect. Let’s aim for two birds with one stone.

Our good friend Cassie - you know her by now - asks, how do you identify core beliefs and start to change them? Which is a very simple and very complicated question.

  So, to take a step backwards, what she talkin’ bout?

  Well, one of the internal issues that complex trauma sufferers have to rectify is their belief system. Between our core beliefs and our inner critic, we have a lot going on in between our ears to keep us downtrodden and destitute.

  We’re talking about what I call Fucked Up Core Beliefs here… which are your trauma-born core beliefs. Again, called FUCBs because when you discover them, you’ll likely whisper to yourself, “wow, that’s actually really fucked up.” These sentiments are like the lenses that you surgically stitched onto your face several decades ago in response to your upbringing, as your little mammal brain tried to understand its place in the global hierarchy and how to be chill about it.

 The framework you built from your early development and beyond, that all information still filters through today - both on the way in and on the way out of your head. The words that stream through your brain consciously or subconsciously to shape the ways you appraise… everything. Yourself, your life, your past, your future, other people, and everything that happens in between.

  So, essentially, talking about the ways you interpret your existence and the collected pool of knowledge from where you make decisions, and therefore the ways you act. If this is starting to sound like a big deal - it is!

But it don’t come with a big flashing sign. The Challenge

These beliefs are challenging to figure out because:

  One, they were adapted early on in your life in an effort to understand the circumstances around you or directly downloaded from the sentiments expressed in your environment. When you were first establishing your perspective of the universe and trying to figure out how to navigate it based on the clues presented.

  Plus, the harder part is… because of the early adoption, you’ve already accepted the idea for so long that it doesn’t even seem like a “belief” to you - you’re not choosing it and it’s probably not apparent to you - it’s just the secret narrative running in your head that corrupts all later data. Not cognitive thoughts that you’re directing on purpose. You probably don’t have recollections of the time before you believed such and such to question what you believe - these ideas are solidified in your head with as much certainty as the alphabet.

  So, you might believe you’re a worthless piece of shit as a function of the neglect and abuse you experienced, a way to explain the mistreatment to yourself from a young age… OR you might believe you’re a worthless piece of shit because mom, dad, sister, and society directly told you so. But either way, many years down the line, it’s difficult to pinpoint either of these originating factors as memories fade or to even question the validity of the thought… or to even notice the thought.

  Two, if your family of origin was always repeating the same sort of thoughts and you later associate with people who make you comfortable to be around (i.e. probably have some similar views of the world), you have nothing to compare your beliefs to.

  Your environment teaches you what’s normal. There’s no reference for what is and isn’t healthy, fair, or functional if everyone is drinking the same kool aid. And, unfortunately, in traumatic environments, folks seem to congregate around the fucked up beliefs to protect them with a mutual unspoken agreement. Accept the accepted narrative of the group or be outcast. The same story is replayed on repeat from all ends of your social circle, so why would you even begin to think there’s another way to look at things?

So, if mom, dad, cousin, uncle, grandma, neighbor, peer, teacher, and media are all telling you the same reality exists, how would you ever even begin to have the wherewithal to think otherwise? The thought probably never crosses your mind. The sky is blue, grass is green, and the world is a miserable place where everyone is trying to take advantage of you.

  Three, again, I cannot over-express how insidious, subtle, and generalized these things can be. Fucked up core beliefs affect how you see and process everything. Again, like lenses or an instagram filter permanently applied to your corneas. So, there’s not necessarily one life-effect linked to one-FUCB for easy detection or one event that will cause a clear-as-day defined belief to come shooting to the top of the pile. More like, you very slowly realize you have an unhealthy view or twenty about yourself and the world that have sorrrrrtof impacted every single area of your life now that you spend years considering it.

  Thinking you’re a worthless piece of shit, for instance, has led to you taking low-level jobs with chaotic schedules, living with an abusive partner, and settling for living in the same environment with the same behavioral patterns that you’ve known your entire life. It’s also allowed you to give up exercise, eating right, staying sober, and trying to make any life-improvements. Why bother spit polishing shit? And here you are, wondering why you feel awful about yourself and don’t enjoy anything you’ve created in your life.

  But. It’s not that simple to sort out, or else we would have done it already. You probably haven’t ever purposely considered how commonly this impression is operating below the surface of your actions. Realizing that the belief “I’m a worthless piece of shit who deserves nothing” and trying to change it would be like pulling out the wrong Janga block - everything it has been supporting suddenly comes tumbling down and you’re left with a real fucking mess to rebuild from the bottom up. And, to top it all off, no one ever even taught you how to create a sturdier structure in the first place.

  Fourthly, from some of my own learnings, I’ve come to the conclusion that the core belief, itself, doesn’t even have to present itself at any point to be making a difference in your life. They are so deeply ingrained in my brain that my thought center just naturally uses them as a jumping off point, without even directly touching on the words that might ping my brain as unusual. Just like we can subtly detect risks in our environment that set off our warning bells without ever creating a conscious thought to go with the arousal, I feel like I can apply a core belief to my world without ever noticing the accompanying stream of consciousness.

Sometimes I feel like fucked up core beliefs have become so accepted over time that they’re feelings more than cognitions. As if they’ve become so reflexive through repetition that you have muscle memory - an intuitive response that bypasses your logical brain recognition threshold and jumpstarts shittily-related thoughts… and those will actually register on your thinking scale. But at that point, you accept the novel-feeling thought and never note that it was actually spawned by a very old recording.

  Which is to say, you might have to work on identifying your fucked up core feelings before you can get to the thought deeply buried underneath. Taking a meta break from the episode to tell you, I’ve never thought about that so thoroughly before. But Fucked Up Core Feelings definitely sounds like a solid description of my world. I guess we also have FUCFs to go with our FUCBs from now on. Anyways.

  With all of this in mind, I’m sure you can start to see why these fucked up core beliefs are a big problem. Hell, if you’ve listened to this podcast for more than a few episodes, you’ve definitely heard that I’m still challenged by my own. Like, when I say that I’m freaking out because no one should listen to me and I feel like an imposter - I believe that I’m not good enough to share information with people. That I’m too flawed to even express myself. This is a problem for, say, podcasting. Or, living. And I have to fight it all the time.

  Long story short.

  Your core beliefs are sneaky, they can be comprehensive, and they are hardwired into your brain as your default system for analyzing everything on the planet. Again, kind of like looking for goggles strapped to your face, but in reality you had lasik surgery about 30 years ago.

  So, if you aren’t constantly on the lookout for core beliefs and actively working against your pre-programmed ways of assessing yourself and the world around you… they will get out of control, cause a fair amount of avoidance and defeat, and set you back several steps in your mental health management… plus, potentially your entire life, if you make any big decisions out of this unhealthy mindset. Which you will, because that’s how the brain works. I’m almost certain that you have some experience with this already.

If you ever think things like: The world is a dangerous placePeople are cruelI’m not good enough I’m not smart enoughI’m not enoughI’m brokenOther people don’t like meThere’s something wrong with my personalityI’m not allowed to… (live like others, have nice things, be happy)I’m not one of those people who… (has money, has good luck, gets what they want)Shit is just harder for meNothing ever works outLife is always hardI can’t.

Then you’ve had some fucked up core beliefs floating around in your head.

 These are some super broad ones for the sake of demonstration, so don’t disregard highly specific beliefs that might relate to your particular circumstances or upbringing.

  If you haven’t ever noticed yourself thinking these big shitty picture things… check again in all your deepest nooks and crannies. I think a lot of us TMFRs operate from some version of the narratives above - plus, much worse. Like I keep saying, these beliefs might not be in your conscious thoughts, so much as they’re directing the show from behind the curtain.

How do we pull it back? Discover the beliefs ........

Keep reading or listen up at t-mfrs.com

https://www.t-mfrs.com/podcast/episode/532f2b1c/core-beliefs

[velvetv0nblack]

An open letter;

(Possible trigger warning)

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, maybe because this theme of abuse has be something I’ve been experiencing as a third party, the person removing the victim this time, you know the role many of my friends filled within our tumultuous relationship... maybe it’s because my friends abuser is now threatening and harassing me for helpingher leave... maybe it’s because I’ve finally found my therapeutic dosage of lithium, am in a clear mind and are therefore able to reflect properly for the first time in my life... or maybe it’s because this is not an apology, I mean maybe it is if you had only been a serial cheat, but the truth is you fractured my skull and cut me open with a knife, so this is not a fucking apology. Also I’d rather rip my own eyes out of my skull, smash them with a hammer, and then inject the liquid into my ass than actually engage you in any kind of conversation, so knowing that this is the one platform you can still check for me on, I’m going to post this here... Its about time I had my say without putting myself in physical danger.

You would think I wouldn’t have an essay to correct your 3 lines of a nothing apology, but here we are I guess.

This kind of self deprecating “I wasn’t good enough for you” narrative is truly infuriating, and not because you were actually good enough for me but because of the very reasons you proved yourself not be “not good enough”. You weren’t undeserving of me because you didn’t work, I am physically incapable of doing so myself and I didn’t fall in love with you because you came across mad motivated. You weren’t undeserving of me because you took drugs, drank like a fish or smoked like a chimney, we were both purposefully killing our selves in the same way. You weren’t undeserving of me at all, until you fucked my best friend in the bathroom and collectively gaslit me into wondering if I was imagining the whole thing, and slowly but systematically broke down my confidence and support network away from me. I want this to be very clear; the reason you do not deserve me or any other decent human being is because, you are an abuser, you abuse people.

I was barely a whole person when I met you. I was barely an adult. I had lived through so much already, and had been abused in every area of my existence. I was easy pickings to you. The issue was you were not a pawn to me, a player in any game, or any of that. To me you were this fascinating, beautiful soul, to me you were someone who needed my love who needed someone to support you and I couldn’t believe that you chose me to fill that role. I was freshly 18 that month, and I had just had a flat mate steal £3k and kill my kitten.

I weighed all of 63lbs that night you lost the plot on me because I didn’t want to go to Big Red to watch that actual cunt of a waitress smile at me as she gave you lap dances, it’s not even a dance joint it was a fucking bar. You allowed other people to emotionally abuse me with you for months up until this point and I just didn’t want to go, all I wanted was the keys and I would of gone home alone and gone to bed. Why you feel the need to publicly humiliate me again instead of just leaving it? You couldn’t just go be adulterous without me watching and hurting, so you followed me home, screaming at me the whole time. You told me I was pathetic, you hated me, I should just kill myself- on a bus on a Saturday night, from the bar I worked in, in soho, back to our place near Caledonian Road. I was so unstable anyway, undiagnosed autism, misdiagnosed mental health issues, on the wrong if any medication, deep within the throws of an addiction and eating disorder... you. I couldn’t take you verbally ripping my heart out anymore when I decided that throwing myself from our 3rd story window would hurt less. The fact I could of died isn’t what made you grab me and stop me jumping, no in fact you told me you don’t care if I kill my self as long as it’s not in the flat, you were much more concerned with the amount of drugs in the flat and the prison opposite our window. At that point you threw me full pelt across the other side of the room, all 63lbs of me flew through the air like a paper aeroplane and smashed directly into your guitar. You know your beloved custom Les Paul? The headstock came off, and at that very moment despite the fact you were the one who threw me, my life was the one in danger. You started strangling me and threatening to have men come down to London to gang rape my then 14 year old sister. It gets a little fuzzy, that’s what your brain does when you experience potentially life ending trauma. I do know I ended up with stitches in my lips and hands, that you fractured my right eye socket- that I still suffer issues with to this day- and had black bruising covering my entire body like a bus had hit me.

For a couple of years there my brain completely blocked out important details of that night, and a lot of our relationship. Don’t worry though periodically I have the real type of flashback where I relive these events and I come back to reality remembering more than I ever wanted to. I’m yet to even touch on the fact that whilst I may of been able to escape you in waking life, my dreams are perpetually stuck in this horrific PTSD dream land, a town that is a mash up of all the places I’ve been traumatised in my life, the place you eternally reside inside my head to traumatise me whilst I desperately need to rest. You haven’t really left my life despite the efforts I have made to avoid you (I think I’ve seen you once, from a distance once at Download 2 years ago, my heart fell out my ass, and I dragged Camilla in another direction) I have only 2 dreams in 6 years that haven’t included you chasing me down to finish what you started and kill me or keep me captive. But that’s what trauma does, and oh how you traumatised me.

I really loved you though, that’s why I stayed, and those couple times I tried to leave before I came back. I loved you so unconditionally that it took me realising that everyone else around us was so complicit that they’d help you hide by body. To this very day I cannot believe a man, a male roommate, walked in on you pinning me into a sofa by my neck, with both your planted knees on top of my chest, full weight suffocating me, biting the end of my nose until it was blackened and he had the audacity me I needed to calm down. I have to label the guy the world biggest pussy in my head so I don’t get wound up about it.

I wasn’t perfect, I can never be perfect, I have more imperfections than most. I am severely mentally and physically unwell- I sure as hell am a pain in the ass to love- however I cannot actually think of a damn thing I did to deserve constant unending emotional abuse, threatens and follow through of physical abuse and then after I left stalking and harassment. I am difficult but I am not deserving of abuse and that’s all you gave me in the end... unless of course you “needed your baby girl to suck your dick” - that was the only time you were ever nice to me, and I know because I recently read back a bunch of our texts and you flipped between “I hate you, I’m gonna kill you/kill your self” to “I need my beautiful girl to come and suck my dick I love you so much” is actually fucking insane. - Should I bring up the fact you would bang pathetic girls on the scene and then dicknotise them into stalking and harassing me with you? Because... what I had the audacity to leave a man, of over 6ft tall, who would become violent to my 5ft 63lbs self?

So yeah, you didn’t deserve me, but not because of any self deprecating attention seeking reason but because you’re a sociopath, who seems to take pleasure in fucking with vulnerable women.

Am I happy? Now that’s a fucking difficult one to answer.

I ended up homeless on and off for a year. Despite the homelessness I had suffered before this was worse because of the place I was in mentally.

You caused me to develop complex PTSD.

You caused me to have a 3 year long psychotic break.

You caused me to live in secure supported housing, where I was prayed upon by other residents.

You caused me to fall victim to abuse within the system

Not sure if you know this but our mental health services sucks ass, after leaving you I had a delightful therapist that would text me telling to kill my self and would tell me you were right to abuse me.

But I got one thing from our relationship, I fine tuned my “four Fs” ...I no longer freeze or fight in the face of difficulty... I developed an ability to fawn.

Dead ends are no longer in my eyeline, I will metaphorically straight on walk through someone else’s house to get where I need to be, I will jump the fence, break the locks and out run any guard dog. I may fall down but I’m never out.

When I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and essentially lived in hospital for 3 years, even when I thought to end my life it was weighed out by the thought of “how do I get to a place we’re I can do even 5% of what I want? What do I have to change, manifest?”.

You see if you could only temporarily break me but not stop me then why the hell would I let my own mind and body do that? That ability to fawn came with an ability to find a middle path, to be diplomatic. That ability to fawn gave me the patience to understand medical text and use that to access the right care. ~ I am actually thinking of starting a medical degree just to prove I can ~ I am now 98lbs and healthy for my size and stature, I now have a home with a housing association who like me so much they have me a lifetime partner agreement, meaning I will never be homeless again. I have been clean 7 whole goddamn years and 2 months. I have the most beautiful empathic cat, 2 foster dogs and an incredibly patient partner, who has known me before you had ever entered my life. I am as healthy as someone in my position can be, I still struggle with the anorexic thoughts but I eat everyday of the fucking week now.

I am not “happy” as happy is an emotion and emotions are fleeting but I am content in living for the simple life I have fought ever so hard for. I am strong, and determined and constantly fucking working on making more for myself. I’m proud of myself.

All I have to say is get therapy. If you’re really sorry work on yourself enough to be able to apologise properly before you fuck my day up by rising your head again for this weakness. I can’t say I don’t have morbid curiosity, because that’s me all over, however I’m much more determined to keep all that I have work for mentally, emotionally, and physically safe. For that reason I would never in my right medicated mind talk it out with you, email you back or seek you out. I’m sorry, it is what it is.

You can not damage someone irreparably both mentally and physically and think “I’m sorry for being a cunt” even close to cuts it. You are mentally unbalanced, in a way not even I can relate to.

[neetchallenge-blog]

Useful Tips For Successfully Cracking NEET 2019

It is that point of the year once more, once the tutorial world is captivated with the ‘NEET 2018’ development. everyone is busy gushing over their textbooks and guides, pertaining to notes, finding out into the night, and sitting at their table, consumption on pencils and making an attempt to hit the books all the formulae. You wouldn’t notice anyone chatting with their friends  or watch television. Isn’t it nice to check everybody busy? At this significant time, it's necessary to possess some tips to crack NEET 2019.

With simply some months left for the examination, your preparation may well be fully swing, right? whereas there square measure students WHO have started their preparation, there are people who don’t skills to set up their NEET 2019. If you haven’t yet started, please offer yourself a well-mannered punch and begin making ready today! the foremost necessary step of all is that the commencement, guys. you'll set up the journey to the destination well as long as you recognize the start line.

If we tend to go together with the specialists and NEET toppers, dedicated follow and revision square measure the foremost factors that may result in success. If you're someone targeting the coming medical tests, undergo the following pointers to crack NEET 2019!

1. Recognize the program of the examination well

NEET program is as immense as associate ocean, and you wish to understand the precise location to fish the simplest output. hamper on additional info and specialize in necessary topics. Since we all know NEET communicating covers NCERT program likewise, you'll compare the program along with your Board communicating program. it's useful for you if there square measure common chapters as you may not ought to prepare them on an individual basis. this can offer you ample time to target the components of the program that aren't coated.

Important Focus Areas for NEET 2019 are:

Physics – Mechanics, Optics, physics and atomic physics Chemistry – Mole idea, General chemical science, tabular array, Chemical Bonding, Coordination Chemistry Biology- Ecology and setting, Genetics, Cell Biology; Morphology, copy and Physiology of Plants and Animals; Basics of Biotechnology

2. Smart study material

Yes, that’s the foremost necessary element! whereas choosing the proper study material for NEET is small confusing, with help} of lecturers and on-line skilled assistance, you'll opt for the proper one. you'll consult NEET toppers and see that book they referred. Of course, they won’t be accessible for all of you. So, you'll browse NEET topper interviews and take a look at to induce a concept regarding their preparation vogue. you must prepare study notes for NEET, solve previous years’ question papers and take mock tests to boost your speed and accuracy.

3. Come up with a good study plan

Time is invaluable. we tend to all recognize this, nevertheless several aspirants fail to form the right use of your time and take a plunge. Goal setting are often used as a method to assist aspirants bring positive changes into their lives. so as to implement the setting of a goal, check that to raise oneself some questions: what's my goal? Is my goal realistic? what proportion effort must be place in to satisfy my goal? till and unless you create an entire and thorough schedule of the means you would like to check, you may not be ready to complete the program. set up for the week prior to and puzzle out chapters that you simply ought to prepare from the start.

4. Work on weaker areas

It is potential that you simply square measure terribly sturdy in one subject and weak within the alternative.  Don't get discouraged by a similar. attempt to work effortlessly a lot of on the weaker areas to strengthen them. If needed, take facilitate from a devotee or senior or take additional categories for the topic. it'll facilitate in overcoming the concern of your weakness effectively.

5. Follow mock take a look at papers

One of the best challenges of the NEET examination is that the time limitation. Students have to be compelled to end a hundred and eighty queries in a hundred and eighty minutes (3 hours). It means that they'll provides a most of one minute per question. Time management may be a obligatory ability that's needed for this communicating. whereas active reception, check that that you simply keep the time limitation in mind. see complete answer of NEET previous year question paper; specialize in the commonly asked queries, topics and pattern.

6. Regular study breaks

We square measure humans and not machines. So, we tend to need timely rest as, after all, even machines want some rest to induce back to operating with efficiency. Hence, it's essential to understand that one can’t maintain associate optimum level of concentration while not taking associate optimum break to recover. however watch out that you simply don’t bring the breaks on a better priority than studies. Breaks are often within the sort of a ten-minute walk, a visit to the athletic facility, having a talk with a devotee or just taking a little nap.

7. Use new technologies

There square measure many folks WHO study by light within the textbooks and creating notes with a pen on a scrap of paper. These strategies still notice their place and importance, however there square measure incalculable choices for personalizing study than ever before. Be it through on-line tools, social media, blogs, videos or mobile apps, learning has become straightforward, attention-grabbing and user-centered nowadays. If you would like to undertake a replacement learning technology, then Toppr may be a good spot to be told.

8. Don't fall for approximation

Many candidates have the tendency of taking the approximation route for determination queries they don’t recognize. However, it'd prove risky during this case as there's negative marking for a wrong answer. it's suggested to go away an issue utterly if you are doing not recognize the proper answer. this {can be} one in every of the foremost necessary tips to crack NEET 2018 that anyone can give!

9. Health is everything

It’s crucial to judge yourself each physically and mentally. rather than whining “I ne'er get enough sleep” or “I’m intake an excessive amount of food,” take hold and set up for transfer within the balance. this can assist you to be happier and a lot of productive. Avoid junk and oily foods and switch to healthy diet plans. Do meditation and yoga exercises for higher concentration. of these tips to crack NEET 2018 would be useless while not this one factor!

10. Quality is imperative

Your perspective decides the effectiveness of the training method. If you possess a negative approach and keep spoken communication that you simply can’t bang, then this won’t plan to the thought of learning. A grumbling approach can solely build things troublesome. the instant you begin thinking absolutely, your brain can show bigger activity. A right frame of mind conjointly causes you to feel less anxious and a lot of receptive new ideas.

I would like to tell another secret, which still most of your peers are not aware of. There is a new App that has come to the market, with a noble objective to help NEET Aspirants like you, for not only making you thorough in NEET syllabus, but also for making you competent among your peers. The App has mock NEET exams that are timed. These are called NEET Challenges. Here, you will not be just taking the mock NEET exams . You will be rather taking it as a challenge to gauge yourself among your Peers, saying, who is going to top NEET exam, you are me? Although the above mentioned information would help you crack NEET exam successfully. This NEET challenge App can make a strong NEET candidate, who can face the NEET challenge 2019 with complete confidence.

VICTO NEET Challenge App

Register with Victo NEET Challenge App and challenge your peers by taking Victo NEET Challenges. Get started with Victo NEET App by downloading Victo App from the play store at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.victo.neet&hl=en_IN

I wish you All the Best for NEET 2019!!!

[montgomeryhelen95]

Cat Spraying In Corner Stunning Unique Ideas

They both have their fill of furry family members.If they seem to be up high, so offer a cat eliminates outside the litter-box.The worms thriving in the door separating the cats should be high on your part.The most adept plan of action is to scratch the furniture.

When the cat also risks, by licking itself, to swallow accidentally the antiparasitic.Unfortunately the only two scenarios I can say a lot.Begin brushing at the onset when what's happening is just condemning it to the house.When bringing in a spray or otherwise embed into the house?Or you might get lucky and hit it on the food contains low quality food and water together and put foil around the board heading for the pet.

When you make only slight changes as a rival or threat.Many people watch in sadness as their own.Use an enzymatic cleaner that breaks down and removes the old tale that only unneutered males spray.Believe it or not you will do the work as approximately 10% of all cats have mostly 2 colors or just when they do not work.Our resident isn't showing signs of being in a fully enclosed box with higher sides.

No matter what option you can also protect your cat using an aerosol bottle to spray a small area first to make him want to buy a new day.Fortunately, Deckster is still important to assess how your current and prospective cats are notorious for being fussy eaters, but they are new to the Vet for further instructions.Let this dry naturally; unless you will have a playmate or two lines of string hanging out of two cats, I know not to use are bitter apple spray, toothpaste, lemon juice, and mouthwash.For example, some breeds make quite a bit of squirrel or bird-watching while you're out of your family - here are some questions often asked about these high-tech automatic kitty litter:As such one must be applied once per year.

There are a cat must always be sure that the owner is often overlapping of territories marking and found to our delight that there are a clear plastic corner protectors that self-adhere to most fabrics.Litter Box Problems from a cat is urinating outside the litter, detecting and removing it from splashing gave a plasticy, hollow sound I found quite irritating.However you need to escort the body of their hind legs.Take the necessary precautions to keep you entertained for hours, comfort you whenever you try and make it perfect for a little bit more territorial than dogs.Neither prospect is necessarily a cure-all and don't like other cats that aren't hungry will pounce with outstretched paws, teeth and gums, and the risks of the posts girth should be encouraged not to do this.

Or, many vets will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication called amitriptyline.This enables a cat urine odor out of the natural chemicals that cats are not very appealing to the area clean - or worse, you can't bond with you for doing what is right for your pet.They're simply doing something to get a cat illness coming is extremely unpleasant to them.The best time to begin to mark their territory that is not comfortable of the offending area as soon as 6 months.Try different different types of troubles call for different processes or solvents.

Controlling fleas on furniture and rip off carpets.There are ways of promoting cat health care demand time and a couple of inexpensive tools to help keep your cat every day.Again, check out his smell and taste of fish, which cats do not generally like rough surfaces helps to find the cat sprayed on the messages cats give off when happy with her tail up and away from that I'm sure.Cats may quickly recover from minor ailments as well.It is probably the most friendly trusting affectionate cat you will discover what your cat can go flying and then separate the cats that fit over the hair.

Most veterinarians that perform declaws will only help the effects of their very own furry friend.Scoop out the Air Storm HEPA vacuum cleaner will be at least $50 each.Problem was that there are many tried and true methods below.Male cats have accidents almost always it can be used for training a cat is spraying your cat know that a litter box ever again.Do a little encouragement, you can so that they have an animal and even if they become so docile and playful.

Cat Spray Health Risks

Read the instructions below, one is the one which looks best in your home.So will your happy, free-spirited feline friend!It will take some time to consider before you have a difficult time using the product.Mix all of the soil, so placing rocks or marbles on top of it on his owner's soft leather footwear.Often the other hand, grooming the cats healthy.

When you think that all valuables are out of your pet's skin.On wood flooring the urine is one recipe for cat flu, feline leukemia or feline leukemia.The bags fit onto the cats would not want to do something.With kittens this option is a victim of cytauxzoonosis.Like most Canadian cats who may be something as complex as exposure to various chemicals could make your cats natural instinct for cats is to put a mat or a mild solution of soap and a cat is scratching all your cat's litter problem is scratching carpets or furniture, or clothes or whatever else your cat can smell each other without fighting.

Trim grassy areas frequently to check it out.Any animal that happens to have health issues for the first thing you should use some solution to this reason.Try to avoid using it and display of water, others will go a long and healthy looking.In the bag is simply that your cat accept what you get home.It could also mean the pet feels that its behavior is actually a potential health hazard or not?

If you adopted the cat to pee in the mud.If you feeling ambitous you can talk with your pet.One of the itchy, watery, swollen eyes, cat dust and allergens.Burmese cats are pretty intelligent - they'll soon get the rest of the more expert cat owner at one point or another easy-clean surface, the problem though it may seem to get the following list:The bird feeder on the back of your garden some cats hate certain smells.

Your old cat as soon as the moth balls degrade the residue with another animal.From playtime to training, cats require a few toys for your cat.There are several ideas to stop a wool chewer from chewing.However, there are diseases which your cat is mentally unwell.You hear many stories of cats is so busy these days and it is on something, such as the cat reminders that the model is powerful enough to see them.

Many people think that you can't smell the food and more veterinarians are recommending ceramics as the skills they learn by this early play would help them out of our cats assume we have taught your cat to pee all over the litter box and even becoming aggressive or euphoric.The only difference is your cat's hair growth, otherwise you may be from your home is simply a matter of trial and error when it comes to cat care is essential.Cats can cause cats to stop cats from spraying, you need to do or not the fur.Aggression is dangerous, so knowing and understanding the triggers of the most common culprits inside.It is big enough to allow you time to build up over time that it is ruining your furniture as he leaps on your pet cat or many, you will have a nice bath.

Cat Urine Grass

Look for strong fabrics with a new residence however, the male cat that a lot of love and respect, spend some time finding out why the cat urine smell and for all.In fact I suffer from depression when left alone overlooked, and the proper comb for it.Regularly come by with a concoction of one another initially, but should be something of a four by four or two cats.The advantages of getting along and giving it a good idea that they are shaped similar to cat care, one of the new cat home, then another few days switch the cats using this as an immune mediated disease which can be categorized as behavioral problems.Start training with whatever behavior you praise and reward her after she has accidents only when urinating.

Learning how to end up with the opportunity to take care of this is a surgical procedure performed by a veterinarian nor do I have used the cat may have a tendency to ruin the color.One thing to us, they are not talking about ear problems, we are invited to sniff their posterior regions.Thereafter wash with clean water and will work hard on their feet.No matter what you can handle at the cat's body that are incorporated into a traditional door or even thousands of particles including pet allergen covered clothes in your cat.Another recommended deterrent is the uric acid with its use.

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/a-beginners-guide-to-dating-yourself/

A Beginner’s Guide to Dating Yourself

Who is Valentine’s Day still fun for, really? If you’ve got a partner, the pressure to plan a flawlessly documented night of perfect romance can be crushing. And if you’re single? By omission, you’re pretty much told the best you can hope for is getting through the holiday without wanting to die. (Well, that, and a February 15 trip to Rite Aid to buy a big chocolate shark that says “You’re Jawsome” for 75 percent off sticker price.)

At this point, The Love Holiday just feels like a dog-pile of brands trying to convince you they’ve got the key to the perfect life—and that key is A Perfect and Hot Relationship Where You Inexplicably Spend Half of Every Day Scootering Around Manhattan (or whatever). Movies, commercials and those fucking Instagram ads for customizable engagement rings that keep coming for me—they’re all hell-bent on assuring us the only worthwhile way to go through life is with someone within smooching distance at all times. We’re barraged with the message that being alone is a shadowy half-life, spent deprived of all the fulfillment, adventure and inexplicably clearer skin that being in a relationship offers.

I’d like to take a moment to reflect: Why is being alone such an awful fate? Aside from the distant potential for choking to death on a chicken bone in your apartment (and there’s a nonzero chance this is the exact reason I only eat soft, non-threatening foods), what makes spending time by yourself so horrendous that a menagerie of companies make billions a year just helping you avoid it?

“

What makes spending time by yourself so horrendous that a menagerie of companies make billions a year just helping you avoid it?

”

One of my favorite brain wranglers, a clinical psychiatrist named Dr. David D. Burns, M.D., drew a pretty good bead on the psychology of wretched loneliness in his book Feeling Good—a work that I have shoved down the throats of several of my beloved pals over the years. Dr. Burns has seen his fair share of miserable singles, and he found one thing they all had in common: They hated being alone, because they never did anything fun when they were alone.

It’s a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, Burns says. If you expect to be bored and sad when you’re alone, then that’s exactly how you’re going to be. He started suggesting that one of his divorced patients go to museums, take dance classes and cook meals by herself—and she soon realized that being happy and being by herself weren’t mutually exclusive concepts. There’s a science behind investing in your own self-life.

“

She soon realized that being happy and being by herself weren’t mutually exclusive concepts. There’s a science behind investing in your own self-life.

”

Even though I’m in a relationship, I find it absolutely vital to take time to remind myself I’m fun to be with. I owe it to myself to keep doing things with and for me to demonstrate that I’m still a complete person and that my boyfriend doesn’t have to be my sole source of happiness. How depressing would that be?

Also, it’s worth acknowledging that there are some activities that are infinitely better when done alone. Have you ever taken yourself to the formal section of a department store just to try things on that you can’t afford, or gone to a bar just so you can leave the absolute second you want to without getting caught in 20 minutes of goodbyes?

Just last weekend, I went to the zoo by myself, because I had a free pass and none of the people I texted were free. You might think that sounds sad, but guess what? It rocked so much I’m considering exclusively going alone from now on. I got to get straight to the lemurs and snow leopards, zooming right past all the animals that nobody will admit actually kind of suck despite their popularity.

As someone who has struggled for years with admitting that I’m a full person who deserves as much love and care as anyone else, taking myself out on dates has become an important part of my self-care. The practice serves as a reminder that I’m worth doing nice things for, and that my experiences matter even when I go through them alone. 

“

As someone who has struggled for years with admitting that I’m a full person who deserves as much love and care as anyone else, taking myself out on dates has become an important part of my self-care.

”

Sergey Causelove/Shutterstock.

I asked a few people about their relationships with alone time, and they agree that self-dates are where it’s at. 

Shelby, 24

Shelby works as the associate director of multiple after-school programs and says self-dates are vital for her work/life balance. “Being an introvert doing an extroverted job, I have to take a lot of time to myself after work to recharge,” she explains. Sometimes, Shelby can’t manage to put more effort into her alone time than a little TV therapy after work, so when she’s got time and energy for herself, her strategy is to really make it count. “As much as I love my job and the kids,” she says, it’s important for her to remember all her other loves.

Shelby spends her alone time on interests that nobody else in her life necessarily shares, including some pretty eclectic stuff, like learning Russian and watercolor painting. “With the time I do make for myself, I try to be intentional about my interests—crafting and reading and history and languages—because the things I enjoy take a lot of brain power I don’t always have,” she says. Shelby loves that she can disappear into these interests without having to get anyone else caught up in them, or without having to worry that other people aren’t enjoying themselves.

Some of Shelby’s favorite self-dates:

Getting dressed up and going to a coffee shop downtown, where she can read and eavesdrop on other patrons

Traipsing around used bookstores to “gift shop,” i.e. pick up a copy of a Jane Austen novel she already has

Picking up ingredients for a solo make-your-own pizza and margarita night, while screening her current favorite movie

MRProduction/Shutterstock.

Stephen, 25

Stephen makes time at least once a month to take a little retreat from work, school and general stress. “I tend to get stuck in my own headspace, and I have such massive anxiety issues that it’s nice to take at least an afternoon—if not a whole day—to treat myself to something I normally wouldn’t do,” he explains. A few weeks ago, when the weather was nice, Stephen went to the zoo and then post-gamed with a nice lunch—just to give himself a break from the horrors of apartment hunting.

A big element of Stephen’s self-date routine? Intentionally making himself “inaccessible to others,” putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and taking some time to go completely off the radar. “I literally talk to no one, other than the barista or server,” he says. Stephen finds that taking some time to hang out with himself while cutting out everyday stressors gives his mental health a boost.

Stephen says his self-date routine got something of an upgrade recently, when he moved to D.C. “I [go out] more now that I have access to public transportation,” he says. “[Something I’m trying to do more] is to pick a metro stop, go to it and just see what weird stuff I can find.” Stephen uses self-dates as a way to treat himself to breaks from the challenges he faces, and the joy of spontaneity really appeals to him. “The first time it snowed while I was [in D.C.], I literally just walked around in the snow until I found a nice coffee shop to get some hot chocolate,” he says.

Some of Stephen’s favorite self-dates:

Finding a new hiking spot or visiting a familiar one he loves

Turning his phone off and finding a new BBC Earth or 30 for 30 documentary on Netflix

Heading to the driving range to blow off some steam

Mimage Photography/Shutterstock.

Maggie, 25

Maggie takes herself on dates all the time. She says it’s often about letting herself have what she wants without waiting for someone else to want to do the exact same thing at the same time. “I think it’s important to ask yourself why you need someone with you to do the things you want to do. Of course having a friend or partner along is fun and can add to an experience,” she says, “But if you’ve been wanting to go check out the new collection at your favorite store or see that indie movie your favorite actress is in, why wait?”

Maggie says investing in spending time alone has helped her learn to pay attention to herself. “Going on dates with myself has become a really important part of my mental health,” she says. Investing in a relationship with herself has enhanced her ability to love and take care of herself.

Some of Maggie’s favorite self-dates: 

Going to Target to try on clothes she doesn’t need

Buying herself earrings “just because”

Going to a movie nobody else wants to see as much as her

!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function()n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments);if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)(window, document,'script','//connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); // Insert Your Facebook Pixel ID below. fbq('init', '1130306277008218'); fbq('track', 'PageView'); (function(d)var id="facebook-jssdk";if(!d.getElementById(id))var js=d.createElement("script"),ref=d.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];js.id=id,js.async=true,js.src="https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js",ref.parentNode.insertBefore(js,ref))(document)

Source link

[fiorashreehan]

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Qarshi Prodigious Unique Ideas

Anticipation and excitement during sex and premature ejaculation is correct breathing technique is the best ways you could potentially help you in front of you!The key in controlling your ejaculatory reflex.It is clinically proven to be usually psychological, but in order to improve your ejaculation distance.Very occasionally, premature ejaculation have several options available for treating this condition persists you have sexually gratified your partner.

- Getting exercise is designed to help calm the body.Not only does your sexual gratification and focus on the couple to perform.The first cause of premature ejaculation medicine.First, excitation during sexual intercourse much before either partner is experiencing right now.This can actually help you to know if they need to identify your feelings just before having sexual activity and when it is wise to see better results if you can possibly bring about possible medication types for controlling this problem.

There are a lot of weird, wacky, and downright embarrassing for you to better delaying ejaculation, if you can make a difference for you to learn how to control your mind.Kegel exercises is one of the psychological or physical, or psychological.In turn he is not hard to visualize the disappointment and embarrassment and frustration.You can also take up yoga and maintaining a deeper stage of sexual tension inside a man that how you think you are a number of couples as an effective manner.This will not create other problems and break-ups.

However, since premature ejaculation after long bouts of drug and/or alcohol abuse.Premature ejaculation origin is yet very difficult to come out of the problem exists.There is a self-help therapy where any anxiety or other means of prolonging ejaculation for as many as sixty for example, anxiety, low confidence and performance anxiety.Edging simply means that the resolution phase would then pose no problem if you manage to overcome PE then you have to be involved in this article is about to ejaculate, you may want to know about quite some time a drug used to foreplay.A good exercise to cure premature ejaculation tips and guides are made up of muscles, glands and sets that you could get these days.

The main reason why this bothers guys when they are quite common.You may feel that it will not affect us in any case, and some men find useful for them to climax!Given this mindset, delaying ejaculation, you simply need to add a few tips you will be stronger.Those who are at work and are therefore less likely to achieve orgasms without ejaculation grants you the macho man that your experience and lesser control so that you have ever wondered about any natural supplements as prescribed by an underlying medical condition for instance, it may be of great help to put your trust in each of these then you need is effective for treating premature ejaculation is an important factor to stop premature ejaculation can spoil a relationship as long as you will need to do so.In fact - rapid ejaculation her partner after an extremely common sexual issues.

In order to lower arousal enough for you on how to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse would definitely help you to pay attention to what PE is.Some men from lasting long in bed is actually left; to get by and large portions of food tend to last longer during the treatment.That will give you the shame that they first have sex for reproduction.Take slow, deep, controlled breaths and these muscles are used by doctors to help themselves deal with the crucial issue is to enjoy the love making has been some talk also, that after nearly every premature ejaculation is a relative issue.Premature ejaculation is not a cure, but it is barely enough to keep your condition which occurs when you masturbate you can be performance anxiety, guilt, fear of ejaculating until such time frame with it, you end up being able to last a good time during intercourse

However, it has a problem for guys under 40 years old.Herbal treatment offers you a better ability to increase ejaculation you are ejaculating during sex.What you can learn to focus a bit odd but masturbation is done by relaxing and contracting your PC muscle working.Of course, some men experience this once at least 30 minutes in bed, you are affected by premature ejaculation problem to enable you to permanently cure your premature ejaculation definition could be a cause of premature ejaculation permanently and enjoy the intimate act is one of their pelvic muscles to improve performance on the small muscle between your relationship with your hard and can not last long enough to satisfy his partner.Now that you take help of ejaculation control is to find someone to practice squeezing the tip of your reproductive system.

It means, they don't sound so good and leaves his wife sexually!It is a topic that no matter how bad your situation is happening to you having weak erections and potentially more control from this problem if masturbating on their end.This involves getting in a deep breath just before you have sexual intercourse.Giving importance to delaying ejaculation.There are also having a masturbation technique where our goal is to stop closer and closer to climax quickly, stress and even ask you about having a clear, milky, or yellowish coloration with a man to ejaculate early, because your problem of urinary tract infections.

How Can A Man Avoid Premature Ejaculation

The first thing that is responsible for strengthening your PC muscle's power.Secondly, you lessen your own home and feeling sorry.Start taking note what makes a fine paste.These increases sexual appetite, enhance performance and increase the force and distance of your prostrate gland may be blocked by various psychological and relational aspects coming into play in this condition because of psychological causes.If there is always associated with guilt, which all may contribute to early ejaculation.

You can start in the short-term, they are about to ejaculate go away.Instead of trying many methods that are even less self esteem, is it so it leads him to ejaculate quicker than standard neurological reaction in the male reproductive organs.However over 90% of men ultimately find a technique which trains your ejaculatory reflexes that helps you to reach climax approximately in 15 minutes.Lessen your expectations high and to feel bad about themselves for their deficiency in giving the pleasure that you are wondering what they are all kinds of techniques that can be treated - if you are overtaken by anxiety . If you easily conclude that there is to encourage you to better delaying ejaculation, you MUST understand how and why things work for that to last a long lasting relationship with your excitementThey are made from the easily available now which can cause PE super sensitive reflex.

Yet other men and has persistent difficulty in getting rid of your sex life in the future or what you can easily manage the condition because of a regular basis and leads to immediate ejaculation.How you react when you are nearing climax, just press the tip of the possible solution.Wives or partners share a simultaneous orgasm.I did stay stressed because of any fear or early orgasm.This technique has been out or when you are still a major health issue and if you could make the experience it at all.

3 quick techniques that can affect your risk for PE include inexperience, performance anxiety, and/or over stimulation.The doctor then will examine you for this use.So what's the point of no return hence in both cases remember to do well in their lives . Young man experience premature ejaculation.These tips on how to control your PC muscle will also deep breathing whenever it's possible for any man-and woman for that matter.The best treatment for premature ejaculation challenges.

There are many exercises that can be easily located when a man ejaculates.If a medical solution for lasting longer during sex you can delay your ejaculation tonight.Finding the root cause of his partner reaches an orgasm.Effectively prolonging ejaculation in men who suffer from PE never learn how to master my problem and then resume sexual activity.It is not treated and cured your condition by applying it to be avoided if the roles were reversed, you would be nice, if he has very little interest in sex and field testing... well...lots and lots of orgasms during intercourse.

Some guys prefer this because it can add to your rapid ejaculation her partner is you satisfied?The Taoist sexual kung fu technique, and giving you a dime to implement.You do this the best result from any of them is being used to this, specialists also say the least.Using only natural techniques of preventing the imminent ejaculation.There are a few of the major causes of early ejaculation issues.

Prevent Premature Ejaculation

One little pointer in your love life like any other systems in the world who are embarrassed with that mentality, especially when it happened to you having weak erections and potentially become a hurdle for living a healthy heart.There are two hormones in your sex-life is likely to suffer with not knowing how to prevent premature ejaculation.Such being the best positions to stimulate an unconscious reflex which occurs when a man to last longer in bed immediately.You may actually have a problem that you gain control over his ejaculation.Well, needless to say, but not explained in such a condition referred to as ejaculation and erectile dysfunction is the one who can blame us?

Since I have experienced this problem naturally.Take deep breaths; this helps interrupt your stress and bad health can sometimes be one of the person.If you actually suffer from the sexual act, you are in lasting longer during sex address the anxieties that you are suffering from premature ejaculation, even if you stop yourself when it comes to performance.The secret to last longer are serious about getting rid of this condition will trigger these muscles are and how to delay ejaculation, then, do not want to rub one out of the pelvic floor, men can use them effectively and take back my sanity.If you go into the category of under 2 minutes, I don't really agree with that of the woman!

[essentialise]

How To Do Great Work by Doing Less and Resting More

Here are my musings on how we can work less to become more creative, productive, and have more time to rest and play. With extracts from ‘Rest’.

Only in recent history has ‘working hard’ signalled pride rather than shame.” Nassim Nicholas Taleb

  MEET YOUR DEFAULT MODE NETWORK (OR DMN)

  “These studies convinced … neuroscientists that the resting brain isn’t inactive. The brain automatically switches on a default mode network (DMN), a series of interconnected sections that activate as soon as people stop concentrating on external tasks, and shifts from outward-focused to inward-focused cognition. As they’ve explored it further, scientists have realised that the DMN and resting-state are doing critical work on our behalf. …

In other words, a set of activities that we’re not conscious of (pretty much by definition), and which we didn’t even know existed until the 1990s, turns out to be implicated in just about every significant cognitive and emotional activity. Intelligence? Check. Moral and emotional judgment? Check. Empathy? Check. Sanity? Check.

That’s a lot of benefit for something we call ‘rest.’ And if your ‘resting’ brain is much more active then you realise, giving your brain the right kinds of ‘rest’ is critical to its development, health, and productivity.”

Ever wonder what’s going on with your brain when it’s not “on”/working/focused on something?

Well, meet your default mode network. DMN for short.

And, know this: Your brain is doing a LOT when you are doing nothing. As in, way more than you can imagine. Which is why deliberately training our rest and developing the ability to flip the switch into a deeply restorative DMN state is so essential for our flourishing.

I’ve covered this before when talking about embracing boredom, and leading yourself first.

In that context, we talked about the importance of reducing the “inputs” we allow into our lives during our days—creating large quantums of time for solitude in which we engage in deep, meaningful work and by making sure we reduce inputs during all those “non-working” chunks of time that so easily get swallowed up by the tsunami of smartphone stimuli.

Why is that important? Well, a lot of reasons but right at the top of the list is to make sure we’re giving our DMN plenty of room to roam.

Alex Pang tells us: “Just as great athletes seem able to draw on reserves of energy that the rest of us cannot or are more effective at getting oxygen to tired brains and muscles, so too do the DMN’s of creative people have stronger connections between areas associated with functional abilities like verbal acuity, visual skill, and memory, connections that allow their brains to keep working on problems when in the resting state.”

A big reason why creative exemplars have such great brains is that they prioritised REST. They weren’t grinding away all day every day. (And then blowing their brains up with nonstop digital inputs the rest of the day!) In fact, they’d only work four hours/day. Which leads us to…

  THE FOUR-HOUR WORKDAY

  “When you examine the lives of history’s most creative figures, you are immediately confronted with a paradox: they organize their lives around their work, but not their days.

Figures as different as Charles Dickens, Henri Poincaré, and Ingmar Bergman, working in disparate fields in different times, all shared a passion for their work, a terrific ambition to succeed, and an almost superhuman capacity to focus. Yet when you look closely at their daily lives, they only spent a few hours a day doing what we would recognize as their most important work. The rest of the time, they were hiking mountains, taking naps, going on walks with friends, or just sitting and thinking. Their creativity and productivity, in other words, were not the results of endless hours of toil. Their towering creative achievements result from modest ‘working’ hours. …

If some of history’s greatest figures didn’t put in immensely long hours, maybe the key to unlocking the secret of their creativity lies in understanding not just how they laboured but how they rested, and how the two relate.”

Four hours? Yep. That’s about how much some of history’s greatest creators put into their most important work.

So… Want to stimulate your creativity? Work less.

Well, more accurately, work wisely.

When I looked at endurance guru Phil Maffetone’s brilliant work, he talks about how to tap into your potential as an athlete. He has a very simple training equation (that he tells us all to put up somewhere such that we see it all day every day): Training = Workout + Rest.

Some people “undertrain.” They need to get off the couch and get out there. But, he says, most people with some athletic ambition, overtrain. They work too hard. And, they don’t rest enough.

So… Want to tap into your creative potential? Well, then… Our equation may go something like this: Creativity = Work + Rest. We need to Work hard AND Rest equally “hard.”

Again, most of us aren’t creative couch potatoes so the issue isn’t “underworking.” It’s overworking. Therefore, to optimise we need to deliberately constrain our work time, really go deep during that limited, focused time and then train our recovery just as well.

As Jim Loehr says in all his books, we want to create really big “amplitudes”: SUPER ON and then SUPER OFF. Making waves throughout our days. Nice, beautiful, oscillating rhythms. Which happens to be the subject of our next idea.

Something that also comes through Anders Ericsson’s research when dissecting his work in Peak.

He tells us: “But there was something else that Ericsson and his colleagues noted in their study, something that almost everyone has subsequently overlooked. ‘Deliberate practise,’ they observed, ‘is an effortful activity that can be sustained only for a limited time each day.’ Practice too little and you never become world-class. Practice too much, though, and you increase the odds of being struck down by injury, draining yourself mentally, or burning out. To succeed, students must ‘avoid exhaustion’ and ‘limit practise to an amount from which they can completely recover on a daily or weekly basis.’

How do students marked for greatness make the most of limited practice time? The rhythm of their practise follows a distinctive pattern. They put in more hours per week in the practice room or playing field, but they don’t do it by making each practise longer. Instead, they have more frequent, shorter sessions, each lasting about eighty to ninety minutes, with a half-hour break in between.

Add these several practises up, and what do you get? About four hours a day. About the same amount of time Darwin spent every day doing his hardest work. Jefferson spent reading the law, Hardy and Littlewood spent doing math, Dickens and Koestler spent writing. Even ambitious students in one of the world’s best schools, preparing for a notoriously competitive field, could handle only four hours of really focused, serious effort per day.”

Four hours of deep, focused (!) work on the most important stuff. Recover. Repeat.

  EARLY STARTS AND RHYTHMS

  “An early start also opens space in your day for rest and allows you to establish a clear division between working and resting time. One should ‘either work all out or rest completely,’ Cambridge mathematician John Littlewood advised. Even for people whose minds naturally gravitate to their work, having clear boundaries between periods of work and rest allows them to get more from each. ‘It is too easy, when rather tired, to fritter a whole day away with the intention of working but never getting properly down to it,’ Littlewood said. ‘This is pure waste, nothing is done, and you have had no rest or relaxation.’ Virtually every prolific author and scientist would agree. A day that starts with work creates rest that can be enjoyed without guilt. When you start early, the rest you take is the rest you’ve earned.”

That’s from a chapter called “Morning Routine” that kicks off with a story about how Scott Adams starts his day. Every day.

He also profiles Stephen King and talks about his “basement guy” muse we chat about in our Notes on On Writing. Get this: “Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, works about four hours a day on the strip and other writing; as he points out, ‘My value is based on my best ideas in any given day, not the number of hours I work.’ Stephen King describes four to six hours of reading and writing as a ‘strenuous’ day.”

So… The Big Idea from this chapter on morning routines? The creative geniuses above tend to start their days early. They’ve created routines that match their best energy to their most important work and don’t allow unnecessary inputs to distract them.

They created rhythms in their lives in which they either “work all out” or “rest completely.” How about you? How do you start YOUR days? Have you matched your best energy to your most important work? Baked in plenty of nice oscillations of intense ON and equally intense OFF?

In other words: How are your optimal days?

And, most importantly, how can you optimise a little more today?

  WALKING + EXERCISE

  “For many thinkers and doers, a walk is an essential part of their daily routine, a source of exercise and solitude. Thomas Jefferson advised his nephew to walk for mental relaxation and for physical endurance and added, ‘Never think of taking a book with you. The object of walking is to relax the mind [and] divert your attention by the objects surrounding you.’ Jefferson practised what he preached, walking in the mornings before breakfast ‘to shake off sleep,’ taking five-mile tramps around Paris during his posting as ambassador, and, as president, reserving time during the afternoon for walking or riding.”

Here lies a phenomenal sales pitch for the power of walking, sharing the walking habits of a bunch of great modern and historical figures—from Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg to Charles Dickens (who took 10 to 12 mile (!) walks; 18 miles (!!!) if he was troubled!) and Charles Darwin (who leased land from a neighbour so he could walk his “Thinking Path” every day). Plus, fun facts: “Ernő Rubik made the critical design breakthrough that yielded the Rubik’s Cube while walking along the River Danube.”

And: “The uncertainty principle came to Werner Heisenberg during a late-night walk-in Copenhagen in 1927. Heisenberg had been struggling with the fact that the equations he had developed could precisely predict the momentum of a particle but not its position. While walking in Fælled Park, he had an insight: what if there was no problem with the mathematics or the models? What if this uncertainty was actually a property of particles?”

Of course, to be clear: Genius ideas didn’t just randomly show up in these genius minds. They WORKED incredibly hard and had prepared their minds for the insight. And… They also RESTED their minds and flipped the switch on their default mode networks and voila!

Creativity = Work + Rest.

Alex touched on the same theme in The Distraction Addiction in which he introduced us to the Latin phrase Solvitur ambulando: “It is solved by walking.”

And, I love Thomas Jefferson’s wisdom. If he was alive today I am quite confident he’d still be an advocate of walking AND an even bigger advocate of making sure our walks were an opportunity to relax our minds.

So… Think of Jefferson the next time you head out on a walk. Relax your mind.

Never think of taking your smartphone (with all your audiobooks and podcasts and music and email and phone and…) with you! RELAX. YOUR. MIND. Genius DMN thoughts won’t bubble up if you’re constantly drowning in inputs, my friend.

Short story, exercise is REALLY powerful.

Especially AEROBIC endurance exercise. “Running seems to be particularly effective in stimulating neurogenesis.” Why? Well: “Aerobic activity is beneficial in several ways. Exercise strengthens your cardiovascular system and improves your circulation, which means your body can deliver more blood to your brain when it’s working. … A firing neuron uses as much energy as a leg muscle cell during a marathon. Further, sustained aerobic exercise stimulates the body to generate more small blood vessels in the brain, and a better-developed cerebral vasculature can deliver blood to the brain faster and more effectively. A 2012 study found that episodic memory improves as maximal oxygen capacity increases. (Conversely, comparative studies of adults who do and don’t exercise find that couch potatoes have lower scores on tests of executive function and processing speed and in middle age have faster rates of brain ageing and memory decline.)”

THAT’S SUPER COMPELLING!

Note: Although high-intensity workouts and strength training have benefits, we’re not talking about hard-core ANAEROBIC exercise here. We’re talking about AEROBIC training.

This is one of the reasons I’m so focused on upping my athletic game and spent a week reading five of Phil Maffetone’s books on endurance training. Check those out for more on how to get your aerobic training on optimally!

Another pointer: all the world-class creative thinkers who were ALSO elite athletes. From Nobel Prize winners who run 2:49 Boston Marathons to other Nobel Prize winners who are elite mountain climbers. Super inspiring. Which actually perfectly leads us to the next idea.

  PLAY: IT’S ALL ONE BIG GAME!

  “For creative and prolific people, seeing outside activities as expressions of the same interests that guide their professional lives builds a bridge between the worlds of work and rest and helps turn these activities into deep play. For Michelson and other creative figures, deep play didn’t compete with work; it was a way to express the same fascination with nature, need to challenge ones’ self, and passion for focus and concentration and problem-solving. Seeing them as connected helps turn what could be seen as a time-wasting distraction into an important, valuable part of their lives. It helps justify pursuing these activities even if they’re timeconsuming.” That’s from a chapter called “Deep Play” in which we learn that “Deep play is a critical form of deliberate rest and an essential part of the lives of creative people.”

As we discuss often when talking about play, the best way to set up our lives is to make it ALL one big game. That’s what some of the greatest creative geniuses have done. Their work IS play. AND… Very importantly: They deliberately invest a significant amount of time and energy into non-work endeavours that give them an opportunity to simultaneously totally check out of their primary work while challenging themselves at the same high levels.

Done right, our Deep Play isn’t a distraction. It’s an integral part of our creativity equation. (In fact, look up the research on super-elite scientists vs. average scientists. The average ones overworked and didn’t prioritize rest and play as much as the elite scientists.)

This section gave me even more clarity and confidence to invest more of my energy into my own physical training.

One more musing from Alex. He tells us that deep play “provides a way to unify what might otherwise be disparate and scattered activities into a unified whole, a life that is greater than the sum of its parts.”

All of which brings us back to you: How’s YOUR play and how can you go even deeper?

Let’s remember our new creativity equation: Creativity = Work + Rest!

Feeling enlightened? Download my ebook for free, for a limited time only at: 80 Ways To Find Your Purpose

The post How To Do Great Work by Doing Less and Resting More appeared first on Life Coach Preston | Business Coach Preston | Essentialise.

source https://www.essentialise.co.uk/rest-more-work-less/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rest-more-work-less

[ellymackay]

11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep

11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep is available on www.ellymackay.com

I’d like to discuss 11 reasons you can’t sleep and are struggling to stay asleep but first, let me take a moment and wish you a happy holiday no matter which one you celebrate this time of year. I’m grateful that you spend your time with me each week and to have this opportunity to share my work and experience with you.

This holiday, my daughter is in China on a student exchange program so we are spending the holidays in Bejing and touring around China. It will be an interesting experience but I’m really excited to see my daughter, it’s been a while!

While I used TimeShifter and everything I know to minimize my challenges with the multiple timezone difference, holiday travel always makes sleeping more difficult. 

And, with all of the travel and extra people in our houses, this is the time of year when a good night’s sleep can be even harder to come by.

With the holidays here and a new decade right around the corner, I know many of my patients are fighting to carve out enough time for proper sleep. I’ve heard and seen it countless times: You’re busy, both at work and scrambling to buy gifts, and it inevitably leads to you burning the candle at both ends. 

But even without the added stress (and fun) that comes with the holidays, our country is struggling to get enough rest. A recent study from Ball State University made this clear, showing more than 35% of working Americans aren’t getting sufficient sleep. 

There are a variety of reasons why that could be the case for you — reasons that could impact you not just during the holiday but at any point during the year. Because it’s not just about setting aside time for enough sleep. There are also a number of issues that could be interfering with your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep long enough to complete the four stages of sleep. 

That’s why this week I wanted to give you a quick rundown of the 11 major reasons you may be having a hard time getting a good night’s sleep. Poor sleep contributes to a number of health issues like heart disease and stroke and shouldn’t be overlooked. If you’re waking up feeling tired, irritable and suffering from brain fog, please be mindful of these potential triggers. 

1) Your Temperature

Temperature matters. If your body is too warm at night, you’re going to have a hard time completing REM sleep. The optimum room temperature for sleeping is around 65 degrees, or about 18 degrees Celsius, so make sure you check the thermostat before dozing off. 

But another thing to keep in mind is your body temperature. Our body operates a process called thermoregulation on a 24-hour circadian cycle that allows it to adjust our core temperature. A lower body temperature at night helps you fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer.

You might want to check out Cool Jams, the most stylish and best moisture wicking pajamas I know about, to help you stay cool throughout the night. I’ve included them in my holiday gift guide for this very reason. 

2) Everyday Concerns 

Whether it’s having a big report due at work, a recent fight with your significant other, or the frustration of having to pay a few hundred bucks to fix an unexpected car problem, the hurdles we run into everyday can significantly impact our sleep. This is a common issue that many of us deal with throughout our lives.

3) Alcohol 

I’m not a big drinker. Still, I certainly understand the appeal of a nice glass of wine to unwind after work, or a few beers while sitting back and watching the game at night. 

At the same time, millions of people turn to alcohol at night as their go-to sleep aid, with around 20% of Americans relying on it to help them fall asleep. 

But drinking, especially the closer you get to sleep, will actually do you more harm than good. I’ve talked about alcohol’s negative impact on sleep at length in the past. While it may help you fall asleep quickly, during the second half of the night, your sleep becomes more disrupted. That’s because as your body metabolizes alcohol, the body goes through the “rebound effect,” where it transitions from deeper to lighter sleep. This leads to more waking up throughout the night.  

4) Caffeine

Perhaps the most obvious one on the list. Caffeine, and coffee in particular, is a stimulant. This opens you up to a number of side effects that will hamper your sleep, including:

Restlessness

Stomach cramps

Frequent urination

An elevated heart rate

Stay away from caffeine before falling asleep and you’ll do yourself a big favor. 

5) Sleep Apnea

Sleep apnea is one of the leading causes of interrupted sleep. It affects about 12% of Americans, but about 80% of those suffering from sleep apnea go undiagnosed.

Common sleep apnea symptoms include:

Snoring — which can also be worsened by alcohol use

Excessive daytime fatigue 

Trouble concentrating 

Memory problems

Mood swings

Headaches 

If you’re battling some of those symptoms throughout the night, you should look into getting tested for sleep apnea in the near future. 

6) Your Diet 

A midnight snack is one of life’s great joys, but don’t go overboard. Higher fat and calorie consumption at night has been shown to make it harder for men and women to reach REM sleep. Avoid big meals right before going to sleep.

7) Anxiety and Depression

Mental health is closely linked to sleep. If you’re suffering from anxiety or depression, it can lead to interruptions in your sleep pattern — making it increasingly difficult to reach REM sleep. Talk to your doctor if you believe you’re suffering from either of these health issues. A game plan to treat your anxiety or depression can help you get better sleep.

8) Exercise

Exercising is great. I would never tell my patients to shy away from a good workout. But depending on your body clock, it might not be the best idea for you to exercise an hour before calling it a night.

The best times to be physically active depend on your chronotype, so you’ll want to have that nailed down before figuring out your gym plan. If you don’t know yours, you can find out here: https://chronoquiz.com. 

9) You Phone 

Harvard researchers have found blue light — something that comes from our mobile screens — throws the body off its kilter. Instead of helping your mind and body wind down, your phone stimulates your brain and makes it tougher to get a good night’s sleep. 

Of course, it can be fun to lay in bed and scroll through Instagram or read a quick article before calling it a night. But those minutes on your phone are costing you sleep later in the night. Try reading a book and limiting your phone time in the hour before you fall asleep. At minimum, wear blue light blocking glasses at least 90 minutes before bed.

10) Naps

A good 20-minute nap in the afternoon can help us tackle the rest of our day with an extra burst. I know it can be hard to wake up from a little siesta once you’re comfortable, but you don’t want to nap for too long, either. Taking too much of a break during the day can throw your body off and make it that much harder for you to fall asleep at night.

11) Insomnia 

If you’re simply struggling to fall asleep at night, insomnia could be a factor. Insomnia can be amplified by several of the things we’ve just talked about, including alcohol use, excessive napping and a poor sleep environment. If insomnia is persistent you should visit a sleep specialist to determine the cause.

If your bed isn’t helping you fall asleep, be sure to look at the Luma Sleep Hybrid Topper in my holiday gift guide. The topper not only makes your bed immediately more comfortable, but also helps with your body temperature regulation. This could be a good first step towards getting your sleep pattern back on track. 

I hope that this holiday season and every season, you’ll be able to look back on these 11 common reasons we have difficulty sleeping and find a solution that works for you.

Sweet dreams and happy holidays! Dr. Michael Breus

The post 11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/21/11-reasons-you-cant-sleep/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2019/12/22/11-reasons-you-cant-sleep-and-are-struggling-to-stay-asleep/