#I can pay you in friendship!

[local-fanfic-addict]

So if I were looking for a beta reader, how would I go about getting one? I have no idea if you pay them or not, I wouldn’t be able to do that unfortunately 😅 I have no idea how this works.

[prapais]

payu: 🥰🥰🥰 pai: oh i hope they fall, why is only rain wet? what about my boyfriend?

[randomfoggytiger]

What a difference in the two interviews - Duchovny's in 1997 and Anderson's in 1998.

Duchovny was super arrogant and pretentious, thinking he was the King of Cocada Preta, trying to pass himself off as an intellectual, bored with fame. Winona Ryder never came out to David because she was much more famous at the time.. Thankfully, in the years that followed, he had to tone it down. Less Duchovny, much less…

Anderson, on the other hand, looked like a working mother, working non-stop to support her daughter, zero glamor, a bit depressed, like a middle-aged woman broken by life.

And in none of the interviews did the geniuses who interviewed them talk about Mulder and Scully, who were the soul of the show.

I'm slowly working on a progress-through-Season-8-based-on-the-burnt-out-interviews post, so this was timely. :DD

To be fair, David was suffering. Both of them were. The X-Files was simply a job to DD and GA; and they coped with its insane hours and insane stresses differently. For Gillian, she internally imploded: eating disorders, panic attacks, anxiety so bad she wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy. She was afraid to put a foot wrong because she'd gotten pregnant so early on and could have threatened the longevity of the show; but she kept putting a foot wrong due to a shoot-from-the-hip personality. Then she was a divorced co-parent trying to do everything herself. David, meanwhile, didn't have that stress; but instead of marrying quick to escape the unbearable loneliness (like Gillian did), he tried to escape by getting outward attention... or through porn, joking in Playboy that his favorite pornstar had gotten him through some very, very lonely days. He also outsourced constantly, making connections with other entertainers and etc. to try to establish himself in Hollywood away from the show. Part of that persona-- that he had everything together and was living the dream-- was part and parcel of selling himself to the business for, in turn, more work.

Secondly, DD WAS arrogant. It wasn't until AA that he learned gratitude, per his own words. Until that time, he'd overachieved into such heights of success that he, naturally, developed an ego. But that wasn't enough-- it never is-- and he kept devising other ways to get attention. Per his old interviews, he described being 'shocking' or 'funny' or etc. as a way to keep others' eyes (and attention) on himself. He always feared they'd lose interest in him and walk away, otherwise (still does.)

That mindset, he's stated here and there, was a result of habits he'd formed in his childhood-- the middle child caught in a turbulent divorce: father suddenly gone, mother heartbroken, and older brother and younger sister taking sides. He had to become intermediary for his siblings and shoulder-to-lean-on for his mother. He became his mother's pride and joy: a shy kid who thought he wasn't a looker when he was younger, who transferred to a better school on a scholarship, who was "captain of the basketball team and the baseball team and a straight-A student, and I was in my last year of high school, and I'd applied to four schools–Harvard, Yale, Princeton and Brown–and I got into all of them." Who was, in short, an over-achiever; and became arrogant because he achieved everything through his own efforts. But he was also a kid who fainted in senior year, breaking his front teeth, because the stress was too much.

And he was also a man who spent long hours overworked on a show he wasn't particularly passionate about. One who spent long, isolated hours alone (in the bathtub) in Vancouver when not working. And one who always had to be "on" when he was out with his friends or spotted by people on the street. Further, no one wanted (wants) to hear the rich and successful complain about the hardships of their success. So, he turned on the charm for attention, instead; and resented having to "sell himself" for people to care about his work. And his performance, on and off screen, earned him fifteen years of public backpatting and"Fox Mulder"ing everywhere he went.

He didn't deal with the stress perfectly, and created his own problems that had to be worked through later on. But Gillian did, as well (per her own words); and they've both owned up to their mistakes and have, seemingly, moved on from the past.

Lastly, there are other interviews where his truer self comes through: those are sadder, pre-marriage; or more stable and happy, post-marriage. Gillian had happy interviews, too; but her life was much more accelerated than his (marriage, pregnancy, divorce on close heels), and thus sounded more burnt out than he was.

I don't like to pit or compare faults because I'm sure they both handled global fame and nonstop work better than a lot of people would have (David was rock-bottom depressed and Gillian was afraid she'd quite literally go insane; but they made it.) And there are always interviews where he looks like a cherub and she a hag, or he an arrogant scumbag and she a hard-done-by saint. Neither were either.

About the Winona Ryder speculation:

Even in interviews from the early days, DD kept personal details close to the chest, not referring to romantic partners as "my girlfriend" unless his significant other had an established public persona (or an upcoming project.) The person he spoke the most about was Tea-- and that was after their marriage, and only during interviews to promote their next tv series or movie. Tea was a talker, and she didn't mind when he talked about her; so, she rubbed off on David for a good chunk of their relationship-- even after the rehab stint-- until their divorce. (Now, she's taken a vow of silence and enforces it strictly with Tim Daly, as stated by both.)

I'm not up-to-date on Winona, but I'm sure the relationship wasn't serious enough for either to really acknowledge it. She looked happy in their picture together; and I don't think she's the type to deny a relationship because it might not be advantageous to her "brand." But what do I know? XDD

Those are my thoughts, anyway~ :DDD

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

no one's done this one yet?

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

At The Feet Of The Sun

book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*

the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,

after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship

(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)

[best-enemies]

You know what I don't see people talking about enough? Catherine and Warrick. Yeah, they're good colleagues and friends but at the same time they have this insane chemistry that drives me up a fucking wall every time they share a moment. And they do feel an attraction to each other, as has been shown many times (Catherine being jealous when Warrick got married and wondering what could have been, that scene when she nearly falls and he catches her...). I know they had to follow the rules but god they had such a good relationship and worked so well together. I loved their scenes, including the platonic ones.

[swiftadrift]

Ohhh my god I've rewatched Amphibia (not entirely; I was just rewatching True Colours 'cause I felt kind of bad and Amphibia was the fandom I chose to watch while I process those feelings which devolved into Reunion which devolved into The Beginning of the End and All In and The Hardest Thing)

AND. MY GOD.

I forgot why I called this my favourite show but I REMEMBER NOW.

I managed to forget the whole moral of Amphibia, my most beloved show

I need to stop closing myself off !!! I can do it I can stop overtly committing !!!

I was worried about my connections with my friend that I would've forwent everything to pursue them but that is how things go!!! I must not forget myself and I must not forget everyone else in the process !!!

I'm so motivated right now and this may not last til the next day but I'm gonna write this message to myself and everyone else!

I am okay !!! I am feeling okay !!! I will adapt and change with the world and the world will adapt and change with me and it'll all be okay!!!

[lepidopterium]

-

[rabbithaver]

Your description of how you used to behave on the internet sounds like a lot of the people I am scared of on here. It gives me hope that everybody can change. As nasty as what they said is, I hope that person who messaged you can change and move on too.

ah, yeah. sadly this attitudes a lot of people on this website have are not at all conducive to a healthy environment for personal growth. people here will see someone make one poor choice or phrase a post badly and gleefully hold that mistake against the person who made it forever, and no apology however sincere will satisfy them.

i love Tumblr, i truly do, but having grown up here has done a *lot* of long-term damage to my mental health. the extreme moral OCD that i struggle with every day is a direct result of the impact this website's culture has had on me. admittedly a fair amount of that impact has also been caused by leftist facebook groups (collectively called Leftbook derogatorily by anybody who survived that meat grinder of a community.)

but that aside, you are absolutely right. the truth the internet refuses to believe is that EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE. nobody is "too far gone;" if they really want to change, then they can, and they should be supported!

[hanzajesthanza]

obsessed that the one time dandelion ever actually felt guilt in his entire life maybe was not for the cheating, not for the cucking, not for the drinking, not for the whoring, not for the cheating (reprise), not for the avoiding paying his tab, not for the petty and minor theft, but he felt bad because he felt like he was not that good of a friend to geralt

[silkpages]

i miss trini, jason and zack </3

[crowlore]

no, dragon age 2 is not the best dragon age game. but it’s also not the worst. and most importantly, it is my favorite.

[iqmmir]

Istfg are they for real right now

[bittwitchy]

cw anti st*ggy and st*cky joke:

its funny how much i hate st*ggy considering i also dont like st*cky romantically

[my-current-obsession]

I’ve discovered something new and potentially helpful (and kind of amusing, if nothing else) about the early-mid game of Rune Factory 4 - if your human companions are knocked out when it hits 19:00 (which is when they will leave unless you have LV 7 affinity or higher), then even after they’re healed or you move to a new location, they still won’t leave. It seems the game only checks to see if they should leave exactly once, at 19:00, and instead of automatically waking up to leave or just leaving immediately once they’re back up, if they happen to be down when the check happens, then they’ll stay with you however long you want.

If you plan things right you can bypass them leaving and spend several extra hours training/exploring with whoever you want, which is really helpful!

[onyxhellebore]

Wasn't paying attention and my roommate threw out my seaweed snacks that I JUST BOUGHT during our pantry clean out and I hate this shit. I'm trying to only keep a couple things that I really need so I can eat in case of flare ups downstairs and I'm slowly dismembering the diy rat pantry but shit like this makes me want to return to my packrat like tendencies