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animebw · 2 years ago

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What is Gintama about? The only thing i know about it is a clip of a Character explaining how filler in anime works.

I mean, the easier question to ask here is "What is Gintama not about?" But okay, lemme see if I can answer efficiently.

On a base level, Gintama's premise is "Hey, remember that time in the 19th century where Western powers forced Japan to open its borders and started colonizing it with foreign influence? What if that, but instead of America and Britain it was aliens?" So it takes place in a 19th century Japan that's been colonized by super-advanced alien races, meaning you've got traditional, pre-industrialization Japanese buildings and infrastructure side by side with futuristic skyscrapers and UFOs. The protagonists are a trio of down-on-their-luck bums who run an odd jobs service and get involved with all sorts of wacky and unusual goings-on around Edo.

So essentially Gintama starts out as: Deadpool: Sci-Fi Alternate History Sitcom Edition. Its humor is irreverent, ridiculous, self-referential, often dirty, often fourth-wall-breaking, and almost always hilarious (I cannot stress enough, this is the good version of Deadpool humor I'm talking about). And at first, it seems content to mostly just be an episodic comedy with an interesting setting. But then...

Well, perhaps this paragraph from my review of the first 200 episodes best sums it up.

"Swiftly and surely, moment after dazzling moment, this show proved itself to be a show with no limits. Every time I thought it had exhausted its capacity to surprise me, it reached into its bag of holding and pulled out such an unexpected new flavor of story that I was forced to completely re-evaluate what I knew it to be capable of. From goofy, irreverent comedy, it proved itself capable of meaningful thematic explorations. From meaningful thematic explorations, it proved itself capable of a sincerely touching humanity. From a sincerely touching humanity, it proved itself capable of a mastery of the meta of its own place in popular culture that exceeds any other story I’ve seen. From a mastery of its own meta, it proved itself capable of awe-inspiring spectacle that left me cackling in shock. From awe-inspiring spectacle, it proved itself capable of wrenching character drama that left me sobbing in my seat time and time again. From wrenching character drama, it proved itself capable of bringing all those elements together into a synthesis of storytelling prowess, juggling so many disparate tones and styles and making them all feel part of the same massive, sprawling universe. And from there, it proved it could just as easily just do goofy, irreverent comedy again and still have it carry all the weight of its established internal mythology."

The bottom line is, what starts as seemingly just a really funny sitcom grows and evolves until it's capable of anything and everything you could ever want from a story, all at the same time. It's one of the funniest comedies I've ever laughed at, one of the most affecting dramas I've ever cried to, one of the most pulse-pounding action thrill rides in shonen history, and the undisputed title holder of the single best cast of characters I've ever seen. Even those seemingly simple meta jokes eventually grow to become a full-blown commentary on the art of storytelling itself, as Gintama uses them to bludgeon tired, problematic tropes into the dirt in order to replace them with better, more progressive alternatives. Not to mention how that alt-history setting is mined for genuine political philosophy. And it accomplishes all that while still primarily being a really funny sitcom... except it's also building up its own epic narrative in the background of that sitcom, piece by piece, until it finally knocks over the longest chain of narrative dominoes ever constructed for a final act that, frankly, blows the entirety of One Piece out of the water all on its own.

That is Gintama. That is the greatest work of fiction I've ever had the pleasure to experience. If any of that sounds interesting to you, give it a shot. I know the length is intimidating, but trust me: it's the most rewarding marathon you'll ever run.

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #tabw q+a #gintama

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pistachio-lan · 3 years ago

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Some DSMP Lore Thoughts/Theories I had for the month of June about C!Schlatt/Glatt but it progressively gets more confusing

Those things I posted on my alt twitter as they randomly popped into my head so I thought I would compile them here.

It progressively gets more confusing as I find way too many plotholes that are unexplained or I just don't understand so buckle up

I was thinking about the deal C!Quackity made with Glatt since it's still unclear if he won or lost. Does he really no longer care about the book? Or if he's bluffing in front of Dream... Does he personally care about the book or does he have obligation to care bc of the deal with Glatt.

The whole concept of ghosts being different entities/versions from different timelines/worlds is also great. The Ghost/Wil-bur differences are obvious. Maybe that's what would c!Wilbur become if circumstances were different, but differences between Glatt & c!Schlatt are definitely more subtle and mostly are about memories. Like for example Glatt does not seem to know who Wilbur & Tommy are, tbh he didn't seem to recall a memory about anyone except for Quackity and doesn't talk about the revival book like it was once his possession (he wasn't even 100% sure it's real and how it works) I can sense some tiny differences in character (like even lower attention spawn) and the voice of Schlatt saying that he didn't even want to be revived while Glatt wants to be back - but those things are of questionable canonicity and not sure if they were concious choices. So it all just gives me the impression that Ghostbur/Glatt were ripped from another world and switched with the "originals" Considering that c!Schlatt's canon death count was never seriously addressed is kinda messing with me, but there was a lot of talks that he still had at least one canon life after the stroke. Which then leads me to two people who were on Manburg side before his death First: C!Dream What was exactly the deal C!Dream made with C!Schlatt for the book? Because I feel like there was something more, C!Schlatt despite all was quite clever so he wouldn't just give up such a powerful tool? What if his death was staged then? What if C!Dream acted as if he just betrayed C!Schlatt? Maybe C!Schlatt realized that it was going to be his end so he got himself an escape route he could take to survive and C!Dream agreed to help him. But how exactly... "[user] fell out of the word" is not a natural death in minecraft. And yeah looking at it from outside the lore they probably just needed a way to show a heart attack so they used console death, but let's overthink it like I like to do because its fun. "fell out of this world"... Is such an interesting phrase to play with for the lore imo, especially if they ever plan to address this plothole with C!Schlatt's canon lifes. Fell from the world into where? Have you noticed that it was Glatt that spent time in limbo With Wilbur/Tommy/MD - not Schlatt. So are they the same entity unlike Ghostbur/Wilbur? And if not - Where is Schlatt? And he's also able to leave it... somehow to send letter to C!Quackity..? Is every limbo somehow accessible or is it another case of C!Quackity not really being human or having special access because of his questionably-canonical devouring of Schlatt's heart? It's not like C!Schlatt is in limbo while Glatt is on the server (like in C!Wilbur's case). Did both Schlatt and Glatt were able meet with Wilbur and Tommy in the limbo, Schlatt is the limbo and Glatt is in the gym? Is gym not a limbo then!? Another important question for the sake of continuity... Was there a possibility of Ghost!Tommy existing as a separate entity? Or is Ghostbur just a one-time case for some reason and Glatt is just C!Schlatt with memory problems??? I have any questions I think that won't ever be addressed but I can't help but overthink and overanalyse every detail. But if ghosts versions are just them from different timelines/world... Just makes me think about C!Karl. Since he went to inbetween and the other side. He had seen other Karls drained out of colors... Like ghosts (at least from his POV). Karl was technically on the side of Manburg right as the war began so is there a possibility he helped Schlatt stage all this shit???

Anyways I'm just rambling at this point and it's just get progressively more confusing but yo, needed to get it out of my head, if anyone got to this part wow but lemme know what u think

#dsmp theory #dsmp lore #c!schlatt #glatt #dsmp schlatt #dsmp glatt #dream smp #quackity lore #dream lore theory #karl lore theory #c!wilbur #wilbur lore #lan rambles #ghostbur lore

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baebeyza · 4 years ago

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Heya! ~

First of all, thank you for everyone who voted! Didn’t expect 44 people and it sure helped me in places to decide on things and being able to think of more plot :D

Lemme just go through all the questions under the cut:

1. Big or small cast? Big cast but only caring about few does suit me! If it were a small cast, I’d probably have gone with a plot structure similar to Beast Wars. Like this, I can make the premise more like TFA (the premise is like TFA in a lot of ways btw).

And it does suit me as well to not have to figure out an arc for too many characters, I don’t want this whole thing to be too long.

2. From which continuity would you like characters? This is a little hard to decipher, but suffice to say, most people want more G1 characters. Beast Wars and Japanese G1 have more votes as well! To Beast Wars: I love Beast Wars and its characters, however, I do not like to draw them. Their designs are cool and it’s not like I can’t draw them, I just prefer not to. So if I were to bring Beast Wars characters into this, I would change their designs for me to feel more comfortable drawing them. On another note, I also don’t like drawing animals (at all) so I’d probably give them a mechanic alt-mode with animal features in their robot mode (like the Breast Force in Victory)

As for Japanese G1, I do have quite a few planned! ~ As for G1 characters which never appear in another show...gotta say, most of those I don’t care for either. Some I do, but most not. Might bring them in somehow, but don’t expect them to have bigger roles. (exceptions exist, like Springer, love me the dude!)

3. Choose a dead Prime who ruled before Optimus! Sentinel won! Did like some of the extra choices as well though, like Prowl. Also noteworthy to me, no one voted for Arcee xD Guess no one wanted her dead.

4. Choose an Optimus Prime squad! So, for this I wanted to pick the two most voted guys and girls! And coincidentally, those happen to be the most of voted of them all! For guys, we have Jazz (not surprised by this) and Hot Rod, and for the girls, Elita and Arcee.

Guess that’ll be the squad.

Also, note here: A few people voted Ratchet as a custom answer and do not fret! He will be in this! This Optimus squad is simply a little group of Optimus and his close friends, and since I want to have a young Oppy, I want his friends to be in the same age range. On the same note, just because some characters aren’t in the friend group, doesn’t mean they won’t appear at all. Windblade and Jetfire for example are gonna be in this!

5. Choose a Megatron squad! This is about Megatron’s generals btw - characters who aren’t in this group can still appear! (examples are Cyclonus, Megaempress and Sixshot)

And again I want to choose equal part guys and girls, so for the guys, it’s Soundwave (boy getting loved I see), Starscream and Shockwave, and for the ladies, we have Nightbird, Blackarachnia and Strika.

A little note here: Because a friend commented on this I wanna make it clear: Drift/Deadlock will be based on the Aligned version, NOT on the IDW version. I had made it clear in the poll that I don’t like IDW1. (which I guess some people didn’t read, given that Tarn was given as a custom answer)

6. One love is story is planned, want any more?

I feel like I should have specified who the love story is about - It is about Megatron and Ultra Magnus. Big time. As for the answers, yes I can live them all! They don’t contradict each other anyway :D

7. Any ships you wanna see in this? Okay, the tricky stuff - as I said, the main love story is Megatron x Ultra Magnus, so any ship-wish that includes Megatron or Magnus here, sorry, not happening. I mean most don’t care, but for those who do:

- Dratchet: I know it’s an IDW thing, I can still think of something with the versions I have in mind if you still want that. - Windstream: Friends of mine wanted this, and I will try my best to make something nice out of it!

- JazzWave: Gotta see, so far I wouldn’t know how to include it

- Giving Arcee love: Got something nice and sapphic planned for her!

- Optimus/Elita: Again a friend wanted this, and I too would like to see them in a truly romantic light, so I’m going to include it!

- Happy ones, for the bad guys as well: Hell yeah! - Simpatico: I do not have Percy or Brainstorm planned in this

- Hot Rod/Arcee: I had another idea for Arcee, sorry! - Anything with Jazz: Good to know, if I can’t make it work with Soundwave, I’ll try with someone else (Hot Rod perhaps)

- Strika/Lugnut: Why not? Something in the background, as I have no plans for Lugnut - Windscream: Thing is, there are people who had this ship in the “Do not want” question that follows. Personally, I am indifferent to this ship, but since more people don’t want it (and because I have plans for Windstream), I’m going to pass on this. WaveWave: Gonna see how it goes with Jazz!

8. Anything you don’t want? Most people don’t care, which is nice, as for the things people listed: - Sparklings: Never planned them anyway, I want to go for something else to get parent/child dynamics. - Windscream, MegaStar, MegOP: See upwards, not going to happen here, same with DooP, since I wanna go with OpLita - “If functionalism exists, please don’t make the oppressed characters the villains for fighting back”: NO WORRIES, IS NOT PLANNED! Megatron’s backstory has no freedom fighter motive whatsoever. - Manipulative/abusive ships: Not planned - Bumblebee: Good luck, buddy, I didn’t have him planned either! xD - Slash: Tough luck, buddy, this will be one hell of a MagsMegs ride!

- Negativity directed at me: Thanks, pal! I do not wish for that either! :>

ALRIGHT, that would be it!

Again thanks for everyone who voted! I do hope to start with this in the near future and I hope it will be something enjoyable! <3 If there are questions about this, go ahead! <3 I’d be delighted :>

#transformers #maccadam #fan comic #fan continuity #transformer posting

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grief-is-a-noun · 4 years ago

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what love would sound like for us

put your headphones in, close your eyes, and place the volume at highest it can go. think of me as you let every song take you to each stage of love we never lived out. here, and only here, love exists for us. falling in love with you would, without a shadow of a doubt, would sound like “infinity” by jaymes young. i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like this song. starting out at 47 seconds ending at 1:18. this sound, that sound is love. it’s not happy, its high. it’s the confusion of us shown through every beat

having sex with you would sound like two songs. first, “mount everest” by labrinth. this whole song screams red lit sex. the kind of anger and aggression released only by fucking it out. my god the things i’d do to you and let you do to me. you’d make me crazed, craving the extremes. always keep me coming back to you. bite me. leave marks on my body, claiming me to be yours. for a split second of time, i don’t mind being owned by you. your dominance consumes me. i become more hungry for you each time; but what i am left with is a song, our song, holding the essence of you starved within the lyrics. the second song is...*drum roll please* “daddy issues” by the neighborhood. god i know what you’re thinking, but how? well listen, not every sexual encounter can be filled with hot temperament (although every instance would probably be counted, by others, as salacious) some moments need soft passion. this is our passion. i’d straddle you, our bodies intertwined in the most intimate way. move my hips back n forth, just the way you like. gentle whisper. soft lips. our hindrances would be forgotten. you think of me, i think of you, we are the only people in the world. it’s beautiful. i cannot get any physically closer to you and wouldn’t want to be this close with anyone else. i’m sure there’s more songs we could relate our sex too but these are just represent the height of them.

ok, we already know I have feral tendencies, so yes there are going to be times where you piss me off and i piss you off as well. my inner bitch would resurface and when that happens, she’s always out for blood. my vengeance would sound like “daisy” by ashnikko. that song screams bad bitch energy, lemme tell ya. when you feel the urge to get back at me, i imagine it sounding like breezeblocks by alt-j. because although i may contain the urge to runaway, you’d hold me down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks. metaphorically drowning me. the pain you cause me, doubles as my pleasure. I have the capability to send you into a frenzy, which i’m sure would sound like the first 30 seconds of twisted nerve by bernard herrmann. i drive you absolutely mad, but you can’t find anyone else that is able to put up with your bullshit and simultaneously be just as fucking insane as you are. we are already carbon copies of the worst versions of each other, but when together, somehow balance out the frenzy. it’s euphoric.

not every time that you hurt me i become irate. sometimes I get sad. hell, sometimes you won’t even have to hurt me for me to become sad, it’ll just happen when i’m unsure of where we stand. the song i have in mind is “trouble” by halsey (ep-version). no amount of tragedy could outweigh my eagerness to return to you. when you’re feeling the same, (because i’m far from perfect) it would sound like “BITE” by troye sivan. kiss me on the mouth and set me free, but please don’t bite. i think a deep part of you yearns to escape me but neither of us ever take each other’s sadness out of context, and we both know that’s really fucking hard to find.

other people don’t understand us, we get it. they’re too busy wasting their time on pointless questions that don’t have definitive answers. putting their faith everywhere but themselves, driving them to reach a point where they either become delusional or suicidal. when asked why you love me, i imagine you responding with the song “drew barrymore” by bryce vine. you’re the next drew barry and I want more, and all theses other girls keep wondering what i fuck with you for. i love that, they don’t get us, hell, we don’t even get us. but here we are, reveling in the essence of one another. I could name so many songs that properly execute why i love you, but i’ll keep it simple, “i think you’re really cool” by guardian. you are really fucking cool, even though you don’t see it and that’s more than enough.

uh oh, here we have almost reached the end. now i already know that if one of us leaves the other it will be you leaving me. although you will make this decision i know it will pain you in some ways. our goodbye sounds like “one last time” by jaymes young. (i know, i am a huge fan of his music). but before i have to say goodbye and before i crawl up and die, kiss me one last time. one last fucking time. our moments together paved roadways that led us to this exact destination. and although the highs sounded like “la la land” by bryce vine, or “are you bored yet?” by wallows ciaro, no high could ever compare to the way we feel depth. the way we hold onto our thoughts, good or bad. the way we make decisions that don’t make sense and leave us crawling back to each other in search for answers with even more pieces of ourselves reserved, than the time previous. i don’t just want to be in love with you, i want your mania to be my muse. and even though you’ll say goodbye to me, even though it’ll be the closest i’ve ever felt to dying, i’m happy that our time together can be reflected by listening to this music. it keeps a piece of us alive, forever

*this is now the part where i’d play “forever” by labrinth*

#love #song #music #mania

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kitsunebishake · 6 years ago

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Why Hríd is such an amazing character who just got done wrong during his “character arc” (SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE BOOK II AND FORGING BONDS)

WARMING: THIS IS JUST ONE LONG ASS LOVEMAIL POST FOR HRÍD

this was originally written as a thread on twitter but i’ll try my best to put it all here because someone asked for it some time ago

I’m putting it here because @chascah suggested i uploaded it here as well for those people who actually appreciate the icy boy

this is basically an analysis to most if not every quote from hríd, also adding some translations and little details from the japanese quotes (and some lore behind the whole idea of hríd’s new year alt)

let’s start then!

lemme start with the fact that hríd only appeared in 3 out of 13 chapters, yet is the character that caught my interest the most (funny because i already had a crush on alfonse, then i saw hríd and was like "oh, hello there")

hríd arrived like a half-dead yet somehow composed prince who somehow (x2) survived by himself in múspell for weeks (maybe even months, there's no exact timeline but it is canon that alfonse and the others spent some weeks in nifl, it probably also took them a while to navigate through múspell until loki arrived as ylgr)

he served as some kind of excuse to not put bruno too much with the main characters, practically a messenger only despite this guy being alive with burns and a broken sword (the crack on gjöll's blade hurts bc he couldve actually lost his sword and ended up defenseless in battle oof)

so, there was no really much use of his character other than being a magical solution for everything

he even helped unmask loki (though they never explain why hríd suspected of ylgr, we only know loki's own take)

btw, can we talk about the fact he probably outsmarted loki while the others weren't yet in múspell? he terrorized surtr's army and even outsmarted laegjarn and laevatein

and since he survived for so long i believe most of his wounds were made by surtr himself

they never really say whether he actually managed to kill surtr or not, but let's say yes just to add up on all of the things hríd does just in the story

at first glance it looks like he's doing nothing, but reading further into it and applying some logic

hríd's... he's pretty impressive for a prince so young

gotta also add how hríd appears less impulsive in japanese than in english

when "alfonse" blames him for being a traitor, hríd gets to the defensive immediately in english

in japanese, he's more in shock, probably because after all he's tried, he's being doubted by his allies (which shows a lot how much he cares about being perceived as perfect, something i'll get on to later if i have enough time)

I added this part in the middle of the whole thing because it was a different thread so excuse the sudden change of topic, kinda. It’s supposed to be from the last conversation in Book 2, where Fjorm tells Hríd she’s going to stay in Askr despite her “condition”.

"I understand your feelings, Sister. By all means, go. I will pray for your safety."

this is one of the quotes i'd like to put in that one hríd character thread i want to make

the feeling behind this quote got completely lost in translation, as there's no way to translate it properly

in japanese, hríd uses a pecular way of speech to refer to his sister here he says "... I get it. If that is what you wish, it's alright to go. I'll pray for your safety." the peculiar part, aside from hríds "..." is where he refers to fjorm, the "you"

hríd normally uses "kimi" to refer to people, which is like a more... gentle? way of speaking? men usually use it towards women bc they want to treat them nicely, and jps in general use it with people they don't know (it's that, or "anata" or "[name]-san")

yet here, hríd decides to use "omae" to refer to fjorm, which is more informal and even rude (specially for someone who normally uses "kimi", it means he wanted to express some kind of anger or frustration about fjorm's decision without saying it directly,,,,,,,,,,,,,which is very japanese to do so,,,,,, *looks into the distant "most japanese people i've known don't directly say 'no' and instead go 'hmmmmmm' '*very indirectly rejects*' and it's probably a fact*)

it feels like instead of being supportive, hríd just understood there was no way of convincing fjorm to stay with them

so he gave up and felt hurt by that

please protect hríd

Back to the rest of the analysis.

now let's talk about forging bonds, in the wiki there's only the opening part transcribed in japanese, the rest is only on english (i curse not having started playing 3 months earlier orz)

the first thing you can notice in the japanese version is how informal hríd is when he's stressed

while he speaks in an usually softer manner, here, he doesn't even greet ylgr and gunnthrá, he goes directly to "gunnthrá... ah, ylgr is here too" (he kinda does the same in the mainstory, where he just says “ah, fjorm, you’re okay... ylgr too :)”)

AND IMMEDIATELY, HIS NEXT TEXT IS HIM CALLING GUNNTHRÁ WITH "OMAE”

ALREADY DEEP INTO THE STRESS OF MÚSPELL INVADING THEM

this shows how easily stressed hríd gets and how much he lets his emotions dirve his attitude and actions (which makes sense with the part where he tells fjorm she should be the one wielding leiptr and not him, he's too emotional despite how much he tries not to be)

in these parts we also see some level of deattachment from gunnthrá, on english he goes "sister..." by the end of the opening conversation

in the jp, however, he stays silent, he doesn't even call her name

idk if it's just me overanalyzing it, but from my experience with animoo and vidya, it feels a little weird that he says nothing there, like he's thinking (this is probably foreshadowing hríd's inner feelings oof)

something that i particularily like about this event is that hríd seems so at ease when he's on the dreams, even in the english translation it seems like that he mentions it might be because he feels at ease with kiran but i feel like it also has to do with the fact they're just a dream, it's not the real world, there's nothing to worry in a world where there's no war

at least, that's the feeling his dialogues give me

the closest thing to that hríd is his lvl40 speech and ny hríd (who's happier)

the only quote where hríd mentions some type of concern for his mother btw

from here on it only gets worse when it comes to hríd, though

he speaks about the invasion and such he talks in a way that implies he's probably taking the role of a commander (same as how it is implied he trains the soldier, or that he trains with them, though since he's been training alone with fjorm for so long, it's most likely the former) aside from that, he's weighting on himself the responsibility of what happens to nifl and what happens to his family

and since he's doing so, here's when it comes the part of hríd not being able to care about himself

this young man is carrying a heavy weight, the hopes and dreams and lives of many innocent and PEACEFUL people who barely even know how to fight, on top of those of his loved ones

it doesn't seem like anyone asked him to, not even his mother or sisters

he just decided it on his own that he needed to be "the perfect prince/king" in order to "protect" them

/even if it costs him his life/

he prepared his sisters for that moment (which, might give an insight that hríd knew more than he says, but let's leave my conspiracy theories aside lol)

and to THAT PART, we can add this from the mainstory

in english, when he's rescued, he thanks them for doing so

but in the jp text he actually apologizes for it

not sure how to exactly translate it, but it's something along the lines of "my apologies...for having to be saved..."

idk you guys, but it sounds like what someone who just failed to commit suicide would say, instead of someone who's grateful to be alive

and it makes sense, with how obsessed hríd seems to be about "dying for his loved ones" despite it not being entirely necessary

i mean, look at that, he survived surtr and was aided by bruno as he escaped (probably? they never say what exactly happened, but since they're looking for hríd and not for bruno, it's most likely that they just found each other by accident)

and yes, even though he seems to calm down with those thoughts during the sequence, it is only a dream and we know he has no recolection of them

he forgets completely about that motivation to keep living, which leads him into further down the path of death (whichinnorsemythologymightbecalledhríd,,,,,,orgjöll,,,ykow?)

im still not done, havent even gotten to his unit quotes lmao

hríd still did his best to survive for as long as he could, but it feels more like his strategic "i'm making time for fjorm and the askrans to make their moves" purely, out of the fact he didn't seem too happy to survive until he saw fjorm and ylgr

hat's all of hríd's quotes from that event, i can finally move on to his unit quotes

let's start with this one, luckily it is practically the same quote in both languages

this immediatelly counters any "hríd is boring" comment

though that is subjective, in my case what drove me even further into loving hríd was how different he was from usual characters related to ice

he might come off as cold sometimes, but it's purely because he's actually really dense/has a really bad sense of humor

in jp he tries to make an ice joke, but says "it's not suitable for him" (which is funny because in english he does have ice puns and i hate it)

1. he doesn't mention his mother 2. hríd blaming himself and being kinda gloomy part 1

"I should have protected my people and sisters, I couldn't play that role... I can never forget that."

this part hurts a lot (it's a little more poetic than the og one, i like it lol)

he could be talking about himself, about his sisters, his people, or all together, since the four of them have expressed desire for peace, and all four ended hurt by such thing

this part is scary, though it's not as much in english

NOT BECAUSE OF THE TRANSLATION, but because of his battle lines in eng (i'll get to that first and then come back to this one)

the most shockingly different skill trigger is the second one

the first one is exactly the same the third one in jp is "this is the last blow" (or smth like that) the fourth one is a little weird to translate (ice upon you works, but "freeze your life" sounds a little scary??)

OKAY BUT THE SECOND ONE ALONG WITH THE VOICE CLIP

IT KINDA SCARES ME A LITTLE FOR MY CUTE SWEET MOCHI BOY

it literally says "no mercy for the enemy"

IT'S LITERALLY SUGAR COATED, hríd went from a gentle giant to a merciless killer (who knows how many muspellians he's killed???) thanks to surtr and his fucking ass

hríd blaming himself and being gloomy part 2

the fact that he has not one, not two, not three, but about 5 to 6 lines that imply he's still dueling over everything that happened during the war is hurtful, he really can't forgive himself for that

he also sounds a little dead to me here (it’s one of the voiced quotes from his status page!)

which brings me back to the initial scary one

hríd is obsessed with earning his peace no matter what

and for that, he wants to get stronger

for that, he's willing to even perish, for everyone's sake

it's so sickening for me since i can kinda relate???? it reminds me a lot of the kind of wording they use for depression-themed japanese works, with the "peace" part and his willingness to just die anytime (which, is actually pretty normal for a warrior outside of FE. outside)

iT MAKES ME FEEL BAD BUT AT THE SAME TIME i kinda like he's written this way

AND EVEN WHEN HE'S LIKE THAT, hríd is still a gentle sweetheart who speaks so kindly you kinda forgets how merciless he is in the battlefield

like, the audio where he holds kiran's hands???? where he speaks about how the order of heroes saved nifl????? EVEN WHEN HE GETS STARTLED

he's always such a gentle and kind person

it makes me hate surtr even more because they didn't deserve this

hríd didn't deserve going through all of this fucking shit HE. DESERVED. HAPPINESS. AND PEACE.

then there's the ny hríd

he's an angel

a happy angel who makes me a little sad bc og hríd is not as happy

From here on everything was written like 2 weeks after the previous stuff :’) i’m sowwy

he's a resolute prince, he has the resolution of saving even at least one person,,,,,instead of being a "king", instead of being a "brother", or a "prince", he just wants to be "a hero",,,

hello, this is my opening statement of why ny hríd makes me cry with just existing

welcome

let us start with something that makes his quotes even better, particularily the previous quote and his lvl40 speech, which is the powerful meaning of this alt itself for a character such as hríd

in japan, new year used to be celebrated not at the end of the year, but at the end of winter, which is where geishun comes into the scheme, as it currently means "new years greetings" but in those old times, it was actually "welcoming spring" (or something along those lines i suck for precise translations)

and that's where our next quote comes into the picture

hríd speaks about nifl's winter, about how it practically symbolizes the nifleans' strength and will power

the alt itself is a more positive hríd, one who's willing to try his hardest for everyone, who doesn't regret his past, but looks into the future and has the purpose of being even better than before

of course, this hríd didn't suffer the same fate as the OG hríd, as he still has all 3 sisters (i want to believe ylgr was with them, just not shown bc of the lack of space for a sixth character) and now also 2 new allies to power their search for peace and strength to defend that peace

so, while our normal hríd is desparate to become stronger and suffers, this hríd is like his pole opposite, it's like the sun and the moon (too bad this hríd has no default special, sol would've fit him so well)

can we talk about how he feels so comfortable wearing the celebratory outfit?

the obi (the.....thing that acts as a belt) should be tied strongly enough so the hakama (the pants) doesnt fall down while he fights, yet he feels comfortable with it

i mean, it isn't as constrictive as a kimono as it doesn't prevent him from moving around freely, but he still shouldn't normally feel as comfortable with it as he is, he's never even worn something like that (it is implied, at least) yet he's loving it, isn't it adorable???

one time i joked about hríd being able to feel when winter is coming or when snow will start falling but

i think this quote pretty much confirmed it (YOU CAN'T SAY IT'S BECAUSE IT'S WARM, IT DOES SNOW IN ASKR WE'VE SEEN IT)

blessed boy munchs a whole fucking piece of mixed flour with FOUR HUNDRED GRAMS OF FUCKING SUGAR

he's got a sweet tooth i know it, i know my people when i see them

it's just that he doesn't seem disgusted, and he also only mentions the mochi so we can assume he didn't drink sake or matcha with it

he ate the fucking thing alone and apparently liked it

we have a sweet angel, guys

i just think this quote is cute, he loves cold just as much as i love him

t HIS IS SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT FROM OUR NORMAL HRÍD HE'S SO POSITIVE AND DETERMINED I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

though in japanese, the last quote is a little more gloomy

im not entirely sure of how to properly translate it *looks at the jisho page of the kanji he cant understand* it's certainly a word

but it could be something like "to be in such a predicament from so early in the year... I'm unable to say it's pathetic..."

i???? imagine he says he "can't say it" because he's trying to be positive?????? or something along those lines, but saying it proves he's taking it way to the extreme

nasakenai can also be shameful or miserable, pitable, disgraceful stuff like that

i'm not sure how to describe this quote?

this time it's the english localisation that kinda throws me off, i don't understand what he's trying to say lmao

in japenese he's saying something about having been graced this early in the new year

7 years speaking english and i still can't break down complex phrases the only reason i've survived this long is through the power of deduction abilities

pray for me

u know hríd's damaged quotes in english are all grunts, right?

in japanese, this hríd has a peculiar quote i find adorable when he gets damaged

he says "as expected from you...!"

hE'S COMPLIMENTING HIS ENEMY, THIS IS THE SAME MAN WHO SAYS NO MERCY AS HE KILLS THE FOE

btw listening to his english quotes is so funny

he sounds so damn cool in japanese and in english he

he sounds like a fucking nerd

I THINK IM TAKING A LIKING TO HIS ENGLISH VOICE ACTING PURELY BECAUSE HE SOUNDS STUPID

compare this (JP) https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/feheroes_gamepedia_en/1/12/VOICE_Hr%C3%ADd_Resolute_Prince_SKILL_2_jp.wav

to this (ENG) https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/feheroes_gamepedia_en/6/6a/VOICE_Hr%C3%ADd_Resolute_Prince_SKILL_2.wav

it's the exact same quote by the two different VAs

HE SOUNDS LIKE A NERD IN THE ENGLISH VERSION I CAN'T

back to translations and analysis

i hate this one

his eng quote is more positive while the japanese one is something along the lines of "I was useless... I'm sorry..."

HATE

look, say whatever you want, but hríd is such a sweet man

he cares for people and he tries his best to be the perfect prince everyone thinks he is

AND FOR HIS *MORE POSITIVE VERSION* TO SAY THIS AS HE IS DEFEATED IS JUST

WHAT DID HE DO TO U INTSYS TO MAKE HIM SUFFER THIS MUCH??

despite how "im so useless...!" his japanese version is

he way he says these two quotes sounds way more positive in japanese lmao it's the same translation, only that he's more "I'll repay you!!!!!!" in jp ( https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/feheroes_gamepedia_en/3/34/VOICE_Hr%C3%ADd_Resolute_Prince_MAP_3_jp.wav )

adorable

can’t use emojis on this pc so i’ll just leave the whole screenshot here

you see this quote here?

this is what it actually says

I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CHANGED IT BUT I THINK IT'S CUTE BECAUSE I THINK HE DIDN'T JUST SWALLOW THE WHOLE MOCHI

HE ATE IT NORMALLY AND THINKS HE'S GOT SOME ON HIS CLOTHES BC PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT HIM LGHDSKLGSDFKS

why are u so cute aaaaaaa///////////

this is probably the translation of hríd's quotes i hate the most in english it just...sounds so rude

in japanese it's more like "could you please tell me if i'm wearing these clothes wrong? i'll fix it fast"

he's trying to be respectful to the hoshidans sobs

THESE TWO QUOTES ARE SO DIFFERENT BUT SO EQUALLY ADORABLE AND POWERFUL

THIS 180~195CM OR SO MAN IS THE MOST ADORABLE PERSON IN THIS WHOLE PUTRID PLANET AND IM GOING TO TELL YOU WHY

first, this is my fave quote on english

he sounds so confused as to why people think the hoshidan clothes suit him

HE'S. NOT. AWARE. OF HOW FUCKING GOOD HE LOOKS.

TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE CUTEST SHIT EVER HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT

to make it more adorable, in japanese, the original quote is something like "I wonder what makes a type of clothing 'suit' you..."

HE'S GOING ALL PHYLOSOFICAL ON THAT SHIT probably because people keep telling him he looks good in that kind of clothing

this man's density is so powerful that he can't even begin to understand people find him attractive and that the attire literally makes him go from a 10 to a 1000000000000000000

he doesn't get it and he wants to know if it's really true so he goes out of his way TO ASK KIRAN

i love hríd so much he's so adorabl e

i want to give him a hug

with this i finish my thread for now

for now

hopefully we will get another alt for hríd and i can come back to spam about how adorable his quotes are

please stan hríd he's literally an angel

#analyzing #overanalyzing actually #i read his whole quote set like 30 times for this #it took me a full hour to put this on tumblr from twitter aaaaaaa #I DON'T EVEN HAVE HALF A YEAR IN THIS FANDOM AND SINCE I CAN'T BE UP TO DATE WITH ENSTARS I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO ACTUALLY ANALYZE HRÍD AS #A CHARACTER #HE'S AMAZING PLEASE LOVE HIM #HE'S ACTUALLY WELL WRITTE IN CAN'T BELIEVE THIS #could've added facts about his name origin and such as well but #anything to do with his name and gjöll is just theory #pretty sure they sadly just chose a cool name set for the nifleans #hríd #hrid #icy blade #prince of nifl #feh #heroes #fire emblem #fire emblem heroes

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zakattacker · 7 years ago

Text

5mash (SSB for the Switch) Wishlist

WARNING. WALL O’ TEXT AHEAD.

New Characters

Phoenix Wright: He’s been in a fighting game before, he’s been modded in to Sm4sh - please take the hint, Nintendo. Having the other lawyers available as Alt-skins would be awesome, too.

Apollo Justice: Yeah, I know, I’m reachin’ here, plus I already covered him possibly being an Alt for Phoenix. However, of the three main protagonists of the series at this point in time, Apollo would have to be my favorite. I know it’s not realistic expectations, but it’s my list, for God’s sake.

Decidueye: From the moment I saw the reveals for the final evolutions of Alola’s starters, I KNEW that I would be going with Decidueye. Decidueye has since then become one of my favorite Pokemon, if not claimed the top spot. Seeing the owl in 5mash would be awesome. One problem, however, might be that, given its RPG moveset, not to mention the signature move, Decidueye could potentially wind up being a projectile-based character, which is the last thing we need.

Returning Characters

Robin: Put simply, the boy’s my main. Do I really need any more justification than that?

Lucina: Alright, lemme clarify right here: I DO NOT want them to just bring her into the new game as is, with the same old moveset that they ripped from Marth. Instead, I hope to see them put some actual effort into creating an actual moveset for her from the ground up. Given the cutscenes and the character animations from Awakening, they should already have plenty of material to work with. Also, it would be cool if they could add Chrom as a possible alt, given that they share a fighting style in Awakening, due to the fact that Chrom was the one who taught Lucina how to fight. Take note, Nintendo, THAT’S how you justify two characters fighting similarly. You should already know this from when you wrote the cutscenes and story of Awakening.

Stages

Arena Ferox: You may be thinking at this point that I’m a FE: Awakening fanboy. You would be correct. I liked seeing this on the 3DS version of Sm4sh, and I was sad to see it wasn’t in the Wii U version.

Courtroom: Since I hope to see a Phoenix Wright character make an appearance, they would need a home turf. Simple enough.

Skyarrow Bridge (Pokemon Gen 5): Nostalgic location, breathtaking scenery, etc.

Features

Story Mode: No explanation needed. MAKE IT HAPPEN, NINTENDO. BRING IT BACK.

For Glory Team Battle - Team Up with Friends via Wi-Fi: So, this one’s a bit different. In For Glory on the Wii U, you could search for Team Battles with a friend, provided they’re sittin’ right next to you, on the same system. Personally, I’d like to see them add functionality to where you can team up with a friend via the friends list function, so that you can search for battles together as a team, while playing with a friend who lives far away.

#smash bros 5 #pokemon #fe: awakening #phoenix wright #robin #lucina #decidueye #apollo justice

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wunkolo · 7 years ago

Note

HEYYYOO...Im really new at computer things.. actually i've 0 knowledge on them but if you can simulate things like that i really want in. SO what should i do to get a powerful computer that lets me simulate powerful stuff without burning?

Honestly I won a little lottery four years ago making this video back when dogecoin was trying to grow some renown and I had a spare Saturday night:

youtube

I made this video back when this crypto-currency was just released and everyone was biting in on the meme-coin hype. I made it for a contest but someone else posted my video before me and impersonated me and took over 100k dogecoins in my name.

( x | x )

Despite this I managed to get approximately 2 million dogecoins which I sat on for quite a while. For a bit it was worth $9,000, $14,000, $7,000. Each time I sat on it simply because there was no way for me to personally move my dogecoin into USD or spend it at any store or anything. At one point I spent a few dozen-thousand doge at some crypto-currency store for a $50 amazon gift card for a birthday gift and little spots like that.

Four years later and I finally transfer all of my doge over to bittrex which is something some of my more bitcoin-aware friends used to transfer their other alt coins into bitcoin. From there I did a lot of “homework” and keep a very very close track on the forecast of Doge-to-BTC rates and finally pressed the button right before doge took a steep nosedive and got approximately 1.2 bitcoins(approximately $3,900 at the time). I transferred it all into an Electrum wallet and from there I could spend it.

Newegg takes bitcoin! So now I know that I would be spending my BTC directly at Newegg rather than converting it to USD which would involve a lot more overhead. So from there, I did more homework and started to assemble my build on pcpartpicker and settled on this build. I was going to get some 1080tis but my GTX 770 has been lasting me fine and can last me longer since it has not disappointed me. So once GPU prices go down and maybe when Volta workhorses comes out I’ll spend the rest of my bitcoins on some new gpus.

Just saying but I see people out there with 690,770,980 gpus and some gamer-culture dude-bro out there would try and make totally powerful and fine GPUs that people have seem like the weakest thing ever. My 770 GTX runs games at 60 fps at 1080p totally fine for the past few years and some dude that spent 800$ on a GPU is gonna try and justify his purchase by making sure anyone that doesn’t have what he has feel like shit because I’ve been seeing my lesser-aware friends feel bad about having a got-damn 970 thinking its “entry-level” and that they need the latest 1080ti in sli to run Overwatch. My 9800 lasted me years and my 770 is still lasting me and I don’t have an urgent need to upgrade it for gaming purposes. Only reason I’m doing so is for cuda cores which is not so related to gaming performance. If you have a modern gpu then you’re pretty much set for a few years and don’t let some tech elitist convince you otherwise man. Guaranteed replies.

So I get things in my cart but I spread certain purchases out while i think more adjust my build and I happen to overlap with a deal in which the original cooler I was going to get had a deal for the RGB version so I “Why not” and got it. I bought the case and power supply in one bitcoin purchase since I knew I would be needing that regardless and pushed the CPU and ram and such purchases farther down to open the possibility of deals like the RGB AIO cooler and whatever else happens. Eventually I got part shipments and started to build it as they came until eventually I had a fully working computer.

Hot Date

Lemme tell you holding a processor worth almost half your tuition is very unnerving.

At the moment I still have about 800$ left in BTC that will probably increase or dance around that value by the time Volta comes out and I’ll probably put my 770 into an external enclosure so that I can pop it into my laptop for gpu programming or compatibility testing and such like that. The 770 was a damn trooper and has been serving me well at pretty much everything I threw at it so I won’t be letting go that easily.

#Anonymous

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beowulfs-booty-call · 7 years ago

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#88. Make a "getting it on" playlist.

Hoo bOY DO I WANNA ADD A GIF OF A MALE STRIPPER FOR EMPHASIS BUT I AM BETTER THAN THAT.

So instead I will simply just insert a gif of Alolan Swimmer because he’s the equivalent of this playlist. And also because there’s sadly not many male strip gifs without Magic Mike being an influence.

Now, here’s the thing, I’m pretty well uh… Let’s say, getting it on for me, is sort of like a show. You gotta build it up, you gotta keep the flow, and you always have to keep the climax special, and in my book, every time. Regardless of context, a special track, much less, a special list, is always worth it, lyrical or instrumental!

To start:

1.) DJ TAJ - SEX WITH ME #NJCLUB

2.) Timaya Ft. Machel Montano - Shake Yuh Bum Bum (This is a gREAT mix to get you workin’ him or her down. You don’t have to use your rear for this one, albeit it’s recommended, this is GOLD for you to strip to or tease.)

ALT:

2.) Shal Marshall - Wickedest Wine OR Destra - Dip n Ride (I’m so brown for like legit playing the hardcore soca songs but goD THESE ARE BANGERS) or if you wanna slow it down and groove: George Benson - Give Me The Night ( I used this song so much for Disco night GOD.)

3.) If you wanna show it up and get a little fun, use Step it up by RuPaul, otherwise, stick to Atm Jam (Kaytranada Remix) (The original is meh)

4.) Bryson Tiller - Don’t is always a great banger if you want to ease up, or you can stick with Liquorice - Azealia Banks (Little Chërokee Remix) Personal fave, but still hot af

5.) Ariana Grande - Let Me Love You (Encore Trap Remix) or Van Vogue by Azealia Banks

6.) Pony by Genuwine, you can never go wrong with Pony or otherwise Carryout (Triple A Remix)

7.) The Hills - The Weekend (Personally, I always try to trim it so we don’t have the intro and stuff, the screams… “Eh,” but god was it a top of my list.

8.) BEING COMPLETELY REAL ANYTHING BY MAHARESHI M IS GARAUNTEED TO GET ME THERE AND OVER. LIKE, HAVE YOU HEARD HIS REMIXES OF ROUGE’S LEVELS??? Mahareshi - Here and There is a sample of his works, though his Rouge the Bat themes are, real quality art. Like Fly Into Freedom sample (Alone)

9.) Passion Fruit by Drake

10.) Fake Love by Drake

11.) Era Istrefi - Bonbon English Version

12.) Ariana Grande - Greedy

13.) [Panty and Stocking OST] Cherryboy Riot

14.) Scanty & Kneesocks’ Absolute Territory (Now to be real, the song has a Knight of the Wind remix right after this song finishes, so, if you’re gonna use it, trim before hand.)

15.) IT’S BRITNEY BITCH: Gimme More

16.) Tinashe feat Britney Spears - Slumber party (If things gotta slow down)

17.) S and M - Rihanna (It’s guaranteed to get me.)

AND THE BIG FINALE

18.) The Notorious B.I.G. - Big Poppa Remix (club mix) YO IF I DIDN’T HAVE A DADDY KINK ALREADY, BIG POPPA WAS MY SEXUAL AWAKENING I SWEAR TO GOD. They have this other chill remix, but the dude who sings chorus… ain’t all that. Tbh this dude who does the real chorus in this mix isn’t all that either, but, B.I.G was all of it. ALL.

God, apologies for the lateness on this one, I wanted to make sure I exhaust ALL possible songs to make the best soundtrack for myself, and here we are, an hour into it!

Take a gander, and lemme know what you think, eh?

#Wulf answers #It was all worth it #Whoever you are #You got some fine taste of questions...!#Nsfw-ish #audio #my tracks #jamz #Anonymous

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digitalmark18-blog · 6 years ago

Text

The Low Hanging Fruit of Web Performance

New Post has been published on https://britishdigitalmarketingnews.com/the-low-hanging-fruit-of-web-performance/

The Low Hanging Fruit of Web Performance

There is so much to know about making websites fast. It’s rather incredible. Things like understanding servers and networks, how browsers parse things and make decisions, efficient coding choices, and file format nuances make being a performance expert a full-time career in itself.

But you don’t have to be an expert to care about web performance nor be an expert to start making changes to your websites to make them faster. Even total beginners to the web industry have the power to make significant performance increases to the sites they work on.

Perhaps you’ve heard this one?

If you save the length of an array first rather than calculating on each iteration of a for loop, it’s faster:

// this is faster var l = arr.length; for (var x = 0; x < l; x++) dosmth = arr[x]; // than this for (var x = 0; x < arr.length; x++) dosmth = arr[x];

That’s exactly what I’m not talking about. Haha. Sorry.

I want to talk about low hanging fruit. Easy changes that have big impact on web performance.

I have some of my own ideas. As a front-end developer and someone who thinks the web is a pretty darn great thing, I’m into any idea that makes it better. A few years back I did a whole talk on 10 things you can do to make your site faster, all of which are pretty low-hanging fruit.

But more recently, I asked on Twitter, and lots of people had some ideas of their own.

What are the LOWEST hanging fruit of web performance? Nothing fancy, anyone can do, big impact. Gzip. Optimize stuff. Reduce requests… What are other big ones? — Chris Coyier (@chriscoyier) August 17, 2018

Lemme squish it all together and make a list! Remember this isn’t a comprehensive list of performance-increasing tactics. The requisites to be on this list are that they are fairly easy to do and that have big performance returns.

1) Reduce Requests

This one is my favorite. Anytime I can rip something off of a page and not really sacrifice anything, it feels great. Are there some CSS files you can combine? Tracking scripts you can remove? Sharing buttons that could be just simple links?

Dave Rupert recommends keeping an inventory of all the stuff on your pages so you know why it’s there and what it’s purpose is.

ImageAlpha + ImageOptim (Mac) / RIOT (Win) before upload SVGOMG before upload Keep an inventory of wtf is being added and why

— Dave Rupert (@davatron5000) August 17, 2018

You should also consider the concept of a performance budget. A performance budget might say: you have X requests for Y total file size and Z seconds of load time and nobody can do anything to exceed them. Make it part of the culture around your site!

2) Optimize Assets

Your images can probably be a lot smaller in file size than they already are, without losing any or much quality. Download an app like ImageOptim and drop images onto it before you use them on the web.

The same concept applies to all sorts of other file types. Rather than linking up the “raw” JavaScript that you write by hand, it should be run through a minifier to reduce its file size. This does stuff like remove whitespace and even fancy stuff like rewrite function names and calls to shorter versions. Same with CSS, it should be minified. There are loads of ways to do this that any build process can handle. For one example, here’s me using CodeKit and making sure the output of my SCSS is compressed:

For SVG files, check out SVGOMG!

Google performance expert Das Surma says compressing/optimizing images is the lowest hanging fruit of all for web performance. For images and video specifically, I’d also recommend checking out services like Cloudinary or Imgix which specialize in optimizing and serving images in super performant ways.

3) Make sure you’re gzipping

As a test, open your Network tab in DevTools and pick a CSS file. Look under the Response Headers and see if the content-encoding is gzip.

If it’s not, there are massive savings you could be having by just making sure gzip encoding is turned on on your server. Your host should have information about this for you. Here on MediaTemple, on an Apache server, here’s some info for that. It’s about making sure mod_deflate is on, which does the gzipping.

You might even investigate Brotli, which can be ever better than Gzip, and I notice is supported here on MediaTemple through the Securi firewall.

4) Make sure you’re browser caching

See that second arrow in the screenshot above? That points to an expires date for that CSS file. Notice it expires in the year 2037. That means the browser will hang onto that file essentially forever and not need to re-download it when needed again. That’s a massive performance booster. Need to change the file? Change its name! style.css?v=16.4

Speaking of caching… the general concept of caching is a massive part of web performance low hanging fruit. Your web host can probably make recommendations here. For example, perhaps they can flip on nginx reverse caching for you. Or if you’re running something like a WordPress site, perhaps you can toss on a plugin like W3 Total Cache and reap the rewards from that.

5) Use a CDN

Like Tim Murtaugh says… set up a CDN.

Content Delivery Networks (CDNs) are for serving your flat files (like images, CSS, and JavaScript) from super fast servers that are specifically tuned for that job (for example, they are “cookieless” which saves some network data overhead). Plus they serve those files from servers that are geographically as close as possible to the user requesting that file. Big gains!

This is low hanging fruit as it’s generally a one-time setup and it’ll benefit you forever. Look into setting up Cloudflare for your site, or something like Stack Path or KeyCDN.

Media Temple offers a nifty a CDN and Web Application Firewall, all-in-one.

6) Lazy Load and Defer Loading of Things

The idea of lazing loading is that you don’t request the asset (like an image or video) until it’s needed. Imagine you visit a blog post that has 6 images on it, but 5 of them are down the page pretty far, and you never bother to scroll down. Why request the other 5?

There are lots of techniques for lazing loading, so allow me to just link you to Jeremy Wagner’s article on Google Fundamentals which covers the concept.

The idea of deferring the loading of JavaScript is simple. There are fancy ways of doing this like code splitting, but perhaps the lowest hanging fruit is deferring the loading of a script by putting it at the bottom of the page, or literally using the defer attribute.

Just add `defer` to any script element. Takes 0.7s to implement, makes your page a gazillion times faster. Pretty good ROI if you ask me.

— Benjamin De Cock (@bdc) August 17, 2018

7) Use responsive images (or at least use reasonable sizes)

Zak Nicola says he’s hit “home runs” for local business clients by simply resizing images on their sites to reasonable sizes. They had massive 4k images being put into a 120x60px spot. Yikes. It’s more common that you’d like.

Using reasonably sized images is a quick win. Check out Dave Rupert’s 1.5x images thinking. That might be a good default for everything.

Doing a bit more, look at using responsive images, which is special HTML for your images that has the focused purpose of serving the best possible image for the situation.

Also, consider stuff like using muted autoplaying videos instead of GIFs.

Animated GIFS to videos (Autoplay, muted, loop). Remove the audio track too.

— Doug Sillars (@dougsillars) August 17, 2018

8) Mind Your Fonts

Using custom web fonts can be just as much of a performance burden as the usual suspects: images and JavaScript.

Do you need them at all? If you can get away with not using any custom web fonts at all, or removing some/all of the ones you have, you’ll certainly see performance gains. Perhaps check out using a system font stack.

If you need to use them (I don’t blame you, typography is fun and gives a site a lot of life), then you’ve still got options for improving the performance of them. The lowest hanging fruit is to try out using CSS in your @font-face declarations for those custom fonts, in the form of font-display: optional; /* or swap */. With that, the custom fonts will never hold up the loading of the page, so you might experience FOUT (Flash of Unstyled Text) but never FOIT (Flash of Invisible Text). The “invisible” situation is the one that impacts web performance the most. Pages with no text are pretty useless.

As Brian P. Hogan says, that’s perceived performance as much as it is actual performance.

I’d say understanding what blocks the page from loading and what doesn’t. So, not just “actual” performance but “perceived” performance.

— Brian P. Hogan (@bphogan) August 17, 2018

If you wanna get hot and heavy with the performance of loading fonts, dig into Zach Leatherman’s Guide to Font Loading Strategies.

9) Good Hosting / HTTP2 / PHP7

There is some performance low hanging fruit in your web hosting itself. If your site has slowness issues in the form of response time being slow, perhaps it’s time to upgrade to something more powerful than shared hosting. Throwing money at a speed problem doesn’t always work and isn’t always an option, but sometimes it’s the perfect solution. And it’s definitely low hanging fruit as the effort is minimal.

Speaking of hosting, your web host can probably help you upgrade or configure your hosting to take advantage of the best technologies available.

Turn on http2 and make sure PHP is upgraded to PHP 7 (if applicable)

— Megan Zlock (@meganzlock) August 17, 2018

Ask your host about the possibility of taking advantage of HTTP/2, and if you’re running a classic CMS like WordPress or CraftCMS, getting on the very latest versions of PHP and MySQL which have had massive performance improvements in recent years.

10) Turbolinks

This Turbolinks stuff is a bit of a wild card in this list, but I like it because if it can possibly work for you, you get some increase performance with little work (again, low hanging fruit).

Have you heard of SPAs (Single Page Apps)? The whole idea there is that once the site loads, even as you click around, interact, and go to other pages of the site, the site never reloads. For example, you’re building a React site with React Router. URLs still change and all that, but the laborious process of a full page reload never happens. It’s all Ajax requests and re-rendering. Done right, very cool.

Turbolinks brings that kind of behavior to a site that wasn’t originally built that way. Rather than refresh the page, when you click a link it goes and fetches that page and re-renders what is needs to on the current page.

Resources

Source: http://mediatemple.net/blog/tips/low-hanging-fruit-web-performance/

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