#I can do what I love and still have people like it. I don't need to bend over backwards for others to be liked and cared for
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rosiewitchescottage · 19 hours ago
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Let's get context here.
When we're talking
'let's get rid of or discourage anyone from reading these books'.
- Reason? Usually because there's some theme that certain people don't want to be known about, or because someone has issues with an author.
100% agreed that this is BAD - Books that talk about slavery, books that talk about The Holocaust.
These should always be widely available, even if they're not very well written, tell the story from an unusual angle or maybe get facts wrong.
All these have the value of getting the subject talked about, and the history studied.
Books that tell m/m or f/f love stories or show a family that simply has two dads or two mums. These books should be available, because whether people approve or disapprove, same sex relationships are a reality.
And as long as they're treated the same way as we'd expect a m/f couple to be, in a book aimed at the same age group, then where's the harm?
Then there's the saga of J K Rowling. You don't like her? You don't want to read her books? Well good news, because you don't have to do either.
But say that no one else should either? Try to erase J K Rowling as author of her own work?
Then don't go expecting to be seen as doing something 'good'.
When we're talking
"These books contain sexual/sexually related words and/or images, which makes them unsuitable for children and young teens. They do not belong in a school library or children's library'.
Then why would anyone have issue with these books being removed from such places?
As far as I know these books can be bought by parents for home use. So they're not getting outright banned.
People talk about children who've been sexually assaulted and needing to talk about what happened to them. And that's important. But I'm still not seeing how all these overly sexual details are necessary.
There's a world of difference between simply naming the body parts where no one should be touching them, especially not grown ups, and using the language of sexual acts!
We can and should be able to name all our body parts, using the right words. And children should know what constitutes a healthy and loving relationship.
But we can help them to talk about violations of this without language that they shouldn't need to know before the middle teens, at the earliest.
And this is NOT supposed to be an anti LGBT matter. This should apply whether a book is showing opposite sex or same sex couples.
As I said earlier. Little children should be able to see families with two same sex parents as well as opposite sex parents, or indeed grandparents.
The issue with 'Grandpa's Pride' shouldn't be that Grandpa has a male partner.
If this was shown exactly the same way that any other grandparents would be. Then I'd be singing a different tune.
Show Grandpa and his partner holding hands and happy, fine. But why the heck do little ones need to see leather BDSM Daddies?! 😡😡😡
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majikkulu · 3 days ago
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✮ ˖° ⸜ masterlist ꕤ ・
╭₊˚๑ i'm  not  a  professional  astrologer,  so  they  may  not  resonate  with  everyone. take  them  with  a  grain  of  salt.  consider  the  planets, degrees, etc! these  are  just  my  personal  observations  and  opinions!
☁️₊˚੭
⋆⁺₊ planets  in  the  first  house  or  conjuncting  your  ascendant  persona  chart  can  totally  transform  and  complicate  the  vibe  you  give  off.  it’s  kinda  like  in  the  natal  chart,  but  way  more  intricate.  these  planets  or  conjunctions  can  completely  overpower  or  reshape  how  your  rising  energy  plays  out.  the  rising  sign  is  like  the  canvas  of  a  painting,  and  the  planets  placed  within  or  near  it  are  the  brushstrokes  and  colors  that  bring  the  entire  image  to  life,  altering  its  mood  and  style.
⋆⁺₊ for  example:  i have capricorn  rising,  but  with  chiron  conjuncting my  ascendant.  that  makes  me  come  across  as  wounded,  insecure  about  my  self-image,  but  also  wise  and  compassionate  because  of  the  struggles  i’ve  been  through.  i  get  how  it  feels,  so  i  can  help  others  through  it.  self-confidence  can  be  a  real  issue  with  this  placement.  then  add  neptune  and  uranus  in  the  first  house,  and  suddenly,  i  might  look  like  a  hard-to-read,  dreamy  mystery.  neptune  tends  to  soften  the  energy  of  the  risign  sign,  so  it  makes  my  serious  capricorn  vibe  a  little  more…  fluid.  i  don’t  always  see  myself  the  way  others  do,  and  that  adds  to  the  confusion.  uranus,  though,  makes  my  capricorn  rising  unpredictable,  way  less  steady  than  your  average  cap.  it  leaves  me  torn  between  capricorn’s  need  for  stability  and  the  freedom-loving  pull  of  uranus.
⋆⁺₊ conjunctions hit  harder.  they’re  more  obvious,  more  in  your  face,  while  planets  in  the  first  house  will  still  shift  things,  but  in  a  softer  way.
⋆⁺₊ if  you  have  no  planets  or  conjunctions  in  the  first  house,  whatever  sign  sits  there  takes  the  lead.  but  don’t  forget, other aspects  to  the  ascendant  can  shake  things  up  too!
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✮ SUN IN THE 1ST you have a  cosmic  spotlight on you.  if  you’ve  got  this  placement,  consider  yourself  truly  blessed.  the  sun  is  the  dominant  force,  and  with  it  in  the  1st,  you  can't  help  but  shine.  this  placement  brings  a  natural  radiance  that  makes  you  stand  out  wherever  you  go,  even  if  you're  not  trying  to.  people  are  drawn  to  your  energy  and  notice  you  right  away.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  is,  the  sun  amplifies  its  traits,  making  them  more  obvious  and  pronounced.  without  this  placement,  you’d  be  more  of  a  quiet  observer,  but  with  it,  you  become  the  full-on  main  character.  the  sun  makes  you  hyper-aware  of  how  you  present  yourself  and  how  others  see  you.  you're  aware  of  your  own  personality,  and  even  if  you  don't  try,  you  naturally  give  off  leadership  vibes.  with  the  sun  boosting  your  rising  sign,  your  traits  become  even  more  dominant.  you’re  less  likely  to  hide  who  you  are.  your  authentic  self  just  radiates  out,  making  you  impossible  to  ignore.
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✮ MOON  IN  THE  1ST     you’re  likely  someone  who  wears  their  heart  on  their  sleeve.  your  emotions  are  easily  read  by  others,  and  you  come  across  as  emotionally  open  and  approachable.  people  can  sense  your  genuine,  heartfelt  energy  right  away.  this  placement  makes  you  naturally  vulnerable,  which  can  make  others  feel  seen  and  understood  by  you.  because  the  moon  is  a  deeply  sensitive  planet,  you're  attuned  to  the  moods  and  energy  of  those  around  you,  often  picking  up  on  subtle  shifts  in  atmosphere.  your  mood  can  influence  your  behavior,  making  you  appear  adaptable  and  fluid.  one  moment  you  might  seem  more  cheerful,  the  next  more  introspective—it  all  depends  on  the  emotional  climate  around  you.  this  also  extends  to  your  appearance,  which  might  change  based  on  how  you're  feeling.  you  likely  feel  most  comfortable  when  you're  nurturing  or  comforting  others,  and  this  side  of  you  may  be  the  most  visible.  intuitively,  you  might  protect  your  emotional  space  or  express  your  feelings  in  a  way  that  makes  you  seem  instinctive  and  open.  while  the  sun  helps  express  your  ascendant  traits  confidently  and  boldly,  the  moon  invites  you  to  express  your  inner  world  more  openly.  your  emotional  responses  to  situations  are  often  immediate,  and  you  might  rely  heavily  on  gut  feelings  and  intuition  to  guide  your  actions.  for  some,  the  moon  can  bring  out  a  more  private  side,  making  you  appear  sensitive  or  withdrawn,  and  people  may  see  you  as  someone  who  keeps  their  deeper  emotions  hidden.
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✮ MERCURY  IN  THE  1ST         you’re  immediately  seen  as  sharp,  witty,  and  quick  with  your  words.  expressing  yourself  comes  effortlessly,  and  you  know  exactly  how  to  make  your  point  land.  people  are  drawn  to  engage  with  you  because  you’re  mentally  active  and  always  ready  to  process  information  and  come  up  with  solutions  on  the  fly.  this  placement  gives  you  a  youthful,  curious  vibe—you’re  the  kind  of  person  who  loves  to  learn  and  dive  into  debates  or  intellectual  discussions.  there’s  a  playful,  talkative  quality  to  you  that  makes  you  approachable  and  easy  to  talk  to.  mercury  in  the  1st  also  makes  you  more  flexible,  adjusting  your  communication  style  to  fit  the  situation.  you  probably  don’t  like  being  bored  and  are  constantly  seeking  mental  stimulation.  your  movements,  gestures,  and  even  the  way  you  stand  or  walk  often  reflect  your  thoughts  and  mental  energy—there’s  a  quickness  to  you.  you  might  have  a  rapid  speech  pattern,  talking  quickly  or  excitedly  as  your  thoughts  race  ahead.  this  placement  makes  you  come  across  as  highly  expressive,  and  mercury  enhances  whatever  sign  you  have,  making  it  more  adaptable  and  dynamic.  people  will  first  notice  you  through  the  way  you  talk,  as  mercury  tends  to  intellectualize  everything  it  touches,  giving  your  outward  persona  a  more  articulate,  thought-driven  quality.
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✮ VENUS  IN  THE  1ST     your  entire  persona  is  wrapped  in  the  essence  of  venusian  charm.  even  if  the  sign  on  your  ascendant  is  a  bit  more  intense  or  harsh,  venus  smooths  it  out,  making  you  more  approachable  and  naturally  magnetic.  this  placement  infuses  you  with  an  effortless  attractiveness,  making  it  easier  for  people  to  like  you.  whether  you  want  to  or  not,  you  carry  a  flirtatious,  almost  romantic  energy  that  draws  others  in.  venus  makes  everything  you  do—how  you  speak,  how  you  dress,  how  you  carry  yourself—feel  beautiful  and  captivating.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  sign  is  in  your  chart,  you’ll  always  come  across  as  charming  and  likable.  this  placement  enhances  your  natural  traits,  making  you  more  aesthetically  pleasing  and  easy  to  be  around.  you  likely  have  a  sense  of  style  and  elegance  that  shines  through  effortlessly,  and  you  probably  express  your  artistic  side  without  even  trying.  venus  gives  you  a  warm,  inviting  aura  that  people  find  hard  to  resist.
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✮ MARS  IN  THE  1ST                your  rising  sign  gets  a  major  energy  boost.  if  your  rising  sign  is  usually  more  laid-back  or  passive,  mars  will  push  it  into  a  more  dynamic,  fast-paced  mode.  you’ll  come  across  as  bold,  determined,  and  not  afraid  to  go  after  what  you  want.  this  placement  gives  you  confidence  that  can  sometimes  border  on  aggression  or  impatience.  unlike  venus,  which  is  more  subtle  and  charming,  mars  in  the  1st  is in-your-face.  direct,  forceful,  and  unapologetically  assertive.  even  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  reserved  or  private,  mars  makes  you  more  blunt  and  outspoken.  you’re  the  type  to  take  initiative,  preferring  to  make  things  happen  rather  than  waiting  for  them  to  come  to  you.  with  mars  in  the  1st,  you’re  not  one  to  back  down  easily.  you  hate  delays  and  indecision.  your  body  language,  speech,  and  movements  tend  to  be  sharp,  quick,  and  full  of  energy.  you  might  attract  competition  or  conflict,  but  that  doesn’t  faze  you.  your  presence  is  commanding,  and  you  radiate  an  intense,  magnetic  energy.  mars  makes  you  more  independent  and  tough,  as  it  thrives  on  strength  and  hates  being  seen  as  weak.  others  are  likely  to  see  you  as  dominant,  fiery,  and  undeniably  attractive.  you  speak  your  mind,  say  exactly  what  you  mean,  and  do  what  you  want.  whatever  your  rising  sign  is,  mars  amps  it  up  with  boldness  and  power,  making  your  presence  undeniably  strong  and  full  of  life.
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✮ JUPITER  IN  THE  1ST            it   supercharges  your  rising  sign,  expanding  it  and  filling  you  with  an  infectious,  radiant  energy.  it  brings  a  positive,  uplifting  vibe  that  makes  your  personality  and  appearance  shine.  no  matter  what  your  rising  sign  is,  jupiter  infuses  it  with  an  adventurous,  optimistic  spirit.  this  placement  is  often  considered  lucky,  as  jupiter  amplifies  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  making  them  even  more  prominent  and,  in  turn,  attracting  more  opportunities  your  way.  people  are  drawn  to  your  warmth,  generosity,  and  natural  confidence,  seeing  you  in  a  positive  light  and  trusting  you.  even  when  faced  with  challenges,  you  seem  to  always  land  on  your  feet.  with  jupiter  in  the  1st,  you  come  across  as  someone  who  thinks  big,  often  exuding  an  aura  of  wisdom  or  having  a  deep,  almost  philosophical  outlook.  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  more  reserved,  jupiter  makes  you  more  open-hearted  and  expansive.  you  rarely  think  small  and  might  have  a  sense  of  destiny  or  purpose,  believing  that  great  things  are  possible.  however,  with  jupiter’s  expansive  nature,  there's  also  a  tendency  to  overdo  things—whether  it’s  speaking,  eating,  spending,  or  taking  risks.  sometimes,  your  confidence  can  border  on  overconfidence,  and  there’s  a  risk  of  exaggeration  or  arrogance.
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✮ SATURN  IN  THE  1ST            is  the  complete  opposite  of  jupiter.  where  jupiter  brings  expansion  and  a  carefree  energy,  saturn  brings  structure  and  discipline.  this  placement  makes  you  more  composed,  reliable,  and  reserved.  you  come  across  as  serious,  with  a  strong,  but  often  intimidating  presence.  at  first,  people  may  find  you  distant,  wise,  or  even  unapproachable  until  they  get  to  know  you.  unlike  sun  or  jupiter,  which  express  personality  boldly  and  openly,  saturn  refines  and  controls  how  you  show  up.  you  tend  to  hold  back,  carefully  considering  what  you  say  and  how  you  present  yourself.  your  demeanor  is  serious,  professional,  and  mature—there’s  a  sense  of  caution  in  the  way  you  engage  with  others.  saturn  in  the  1st  doesn’t  offer  natural  luck  like  jupiter;  instead,  it  pushes  you  to  work  hard  for  everything  you  achieve.  you  don’t  rush  into  things  and  prefer  to  observe  before  acting.  others  may  feel  they  need  to  prove  themselves  to  you  before  you  open  up,  and  whether  intentional  or  not,  you  project  an  authoritative,  no-nonsense  vibe.  while  this  gives  you  a  sense  of  strength,  saturn  can  also  create  self-imposed  limitations  and  fears,  especially  around  expressing  your  true  self.
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✮ URANUS  IN  THE  1ST  this  placement  makes  your  rising  sign  constantly  evolve,  giving  you  a  vibe  that’s  rebellious  and  unpredictable.  you  express  your  ascendant  traits  in  ways  that  are  bold,  electrifying,  and  often  out  of  the  ordinary.  while  it  might  feel  completely  normal  to  you,  to  others,  it’s  always  a  surprise.  your  presence  is  magnetic  and  full  of  sudden,  unexpected  shifts,  making  you  someone  people  can  never  fully  predict.  whether  it’s  through  fashion,  beliefs,  or  changes  in  personality,  you  constantly  reinvent  yourself,  and  at  different  points  in  your  life,  you  might  appear  completely  different.  you  naturally  challenge  authority,  disrupt  traditions,  and  question  outdated  norms  simply  by  being  yourself.  this  can  bring  competition  and  unnecessary  tension,  with  some  people  disliking  you  for  no  apparent  reason.  your  energy  is  captivating  and  full  of  surprises,  and  your  life  often  feels  like  a  series  of  twists  and  turns.  while  it’s  exciting,  it  can  also  feel  chaotic  or  offbeat  with  the  expectations  of  society.  this  placement  gives  you  an  eccentric,  unique  presence,  often  bringing  a  hot-and-cold  energy  that  keeps  people  on  their  toes.
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✮ NEPTUNE  IN  THE  1ST   your  rising  sign  takes  on  a  dreamy,  mysterious  quality.  it  softens  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  creating  an  ethereal  and  fluid  vibe  that  can  make  you  seem  like  you're  from  another  world.  there's  a  sense  of  transcendence  about  you—like  you're  part  of  this  world  but  also  not  fully  grounded  in  it.  people  might  find  you  elusive  and  hard  to  pin  down,  as  your  energy  is  gentle  and  often  difficult  to  read.  you  may  be  seen  as  too  sensitive  or  easily  affected  by  the  world  around  you.  neptune  brings  a  sense  of  idealization,  both  of  yourself  and  others.  sometimes  you  can  project  a  perfection  that  isn’t  fully  accurate,  which  can  lead  to  others  feeling  let  down  if  they  get  too  close  or  if  things  don't  live  up  to  the  ideal  you’ve  created.  this  foggy  influence  means  you  may  struggle  with  presenting  your  true  self  clearly,  leading  to  confusion  or  contradictions  in�� how  others  perceive  you.  ultimately,  you  come  across  as  mysterious,  with  an  air  of  wonder  but  also  a  subtle  sense  of  ambiguity.
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✮ PLUTO  IN  THE  1ST                 pluto  amplifies  everything  about  your  rising  sign,  adding  a  deep  intensity  and  transformative  energy.  there's  a  magnetic,  almost  hypnotic  quality  to  your  presence  that  others  can't  help  but  be  drawn  to.  people  may  find  themselves  inexplicably  attracted  to  you,  and  whether  you're  aware  of  it  or  not,  you  have  a  profound  influence  on  those  around  you.  your  energy  is  compelling,  and  you  leave  a  lasting  impact  the  moment  you  enter  someone's  life.  pluto  in  the  1st  makes  your  self-expression  ever-evolving,  pushing  you  to  constantly  shed  old  identities  and  embrace  transformation.  you're  unafraid  to  face  uncomfortable  truths  about  yourself,  and  you're  aware  of  both  your  light  and  your  shadow.  through  personal  rebirths  and  self-discovery,  pluto  forces  you  to  confront  your  deepest  fears,  and  this  gives  you  a  resilience  and  depth  that  others  can  sense,  even  if  they  can't  quite  put  their  finger  on  it.
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✮ NORTH  NODE  IN  THE  1ST          this  placement  encourages  you  to  step  into  your  most  authentic  self,  embracing  your  individuality  and  destiny.  it's  about  self-discovery  and  learning  to  express  who  you  truly  are,  rather  than  conforming  to  others'  expectations.  with  the  North  Node  in  the  1st,  you're  pushed  to  assert  your  personal  identity  with  confidence  and  independence.  you  might  feel  a  deep  desire  to  understand  who  you  really  are  and  express  yourself  freely,  with  a  strong  need  to  project  your  true  essence  to  the  world.  this  placement  calls  for  you  to  take  charge  of  your  life  and  make  choices  that  are  aligned  with  your  personal  truth.  it  often  leads  you  to  work  on  self-acceptance  and  assert  your  identity  in  ways  that  set  you  apart  from  others.  your  presence  should  feel  authentic,  as  you  are  meant  to  stand  out  and  live  in  a  way  that  reflects  your  unique,  true  self.
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✮ CHIRON  IN  THE  1ST           your  wound  is  closely  tied  to  how  you  present  yourself  to  the  world.  you  may  struggle  with  feelings  of  being  incomplete  or  flawed,  which  could  lead  to  self-doubt.  this  placement  can  make  you  feel  misunderstood  or  disconnected  from  your  identity.  however,  it  also  gives  you  a  deep  understanding  of  others'  vulnerabilities,  as  you've  likely  experienced  your  own  challenges  in  this  area.  chiron's  influence  can  bring  a  lack  of  confidence  and  difficulty  fully  embracing  your  unique  identity.  there's  often  a  tendency  to  hold  back,  as  you  might  fear  rejection  or  not  fitting  in.  healing  for  you  comes  through  helping  others  with  their  own  struggles,  as  it  allows  you  to  work  through  your  insecurities.  issues  related  to  body  image  or  how  you  feel  others  perceive  you  could  also  be  present  with  this  placement.
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katsu28 · 3 days ago
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summer's golden haze - chapter six
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: a love confession, a PR scandal, and an explanation (5.2k)
a/n: don’t hate me for this folks 😅 things are going to be fine with our favorite couple, don’t worry! (or are they??? guess you’ll just have to read and see mwahaha)
previous chapter | masterlist
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Somehow Lando convinces you to stay the night with him after spending a little quiet time together at his place once the jet lands, instead of going home like you’d originally planned. You won’t go into detail, but it involved little talking and a lot more kissing. 
He lets you shower off the nightclub musk first, and only when you’ve made yourself comfy in his bed can you shoot a text to your friends. 
You: staying at lando’s tonight. no need to wait up for me, he’ll drop me off at ours in the morning
Samira: ouuu get it girl 
Maren: be safe wear protection etc etc 
You: GOD no not like that you perverts
Camille: sure 👍🏼
Camille: is he reading over your shoulder? WE’RE ONTO YOU NORRIS. 
You: i hate you guys ❤️
Maren: why are u still texting us go spend time with ur man 
“Everything good?” 
Lando’s toweling his hair dry as he walks into the room, wearing only a pair of shorts. He’s a bit sunburnt on his chest and shoulders from today, but he’s still got that aftersun glow about him as he makes his way over to you. He collapses dramatically beside you on the mattress, wasting no time in sprawling into your space with a content sigh. 
“Yep, fine. The girls say hi and goodnight,” You say airily, putting aside your phone. Lando lets out a noncommittal hum, too busy with making himself comfortable next to you to form a response. In the end, he finally settles with an arm thrown across your thighs, face pressed into your side snugly. 
Your fingers trace the dip of his spine gently, coming up to brush over his reddened skin. “You’re all burnt, Lando.”  
“Sun cream is for wimps,” He mumbles, words muffled. “I’m tough.” 
“You might rethink that when your skin starts to peel.” 
“Did you have fun?” He asks, changing the subject in favor of aiming a hopeful smile up at you. 
“I did. I still can’t believe you’re friends with Martin Garrix, though.” 
Lando chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re still hung up on that?” 
“Uh, yeah! Normal people usually don't know world famous musicians!” 
“Guess I’m not normal then, am I?” 
“No, you’re not,” You hum, pushing his damp curls away from his forehead. His face screws into an overdramatically offended look that makes you giggle. “You’re not normal, you’re better.” 
“Good save, that,” He mumbles, face morphing into what has to be the most fond, heart-melting, doe eyed expression you’ve ever been looked at with.
What you say next seems to fall out of your mouth before you realize just what you’re doing. All you know is he’s gazing at you like you’re holding up the moon and the stars, and suddenly it feels like exactly the moment to say what you’re thinking. 
“I think I’m in love with you too.” 
Funnily enough, Lando’s eyes widen the same way Max’s did when he’d accidentally told you. “What?”
“I love you too,” You say, though a little more unsure this time. There’s a key difference between your first and second confessions, but saying it out loud the first time only solidified what, deep down, you think you’ve already known. 
You love Lando. You’re in love with Lando, and you want him to know. 
Only now he’s staring at you like you’ve just told him some deep dark secret that he wasn’t supposed to know, which definitely isn’t the response you thought you’d get from him, and it makes your brain kick into overdrive. 
Max had seemed entirely genuine at the time, but maybe he was just messing with you. Maybe your entire relationship with Lando was some sort of a prank, or god forbid, a fucking bet. The thought had crossed your mind at the beginning, but you’d shoved it aside because Lando was so charming and so painfully your type that you were willing to take the leap. 
Less than two weeks. It took less than two weeks to fall in love with the boy in front of you, less than two weeks for you to put your heart into his hands and pray that he wouldn’t break it. The heart that he’d already wormed his way into and made his home.
It’s definitely fast, you’re fully aware of the fact. At the beginning, you weren’t expecting to get into anything serious. Telling yourself you’d let things play out, let whatever was to happen happen, prepared to leave any and all thoughts of Lando behind if things didn’t work out. 
You didn’t actually think you’d end up in love with him, and for some reason, it scares you more than you could’ve ever imagined. There’s something terrifying about falling in love, but something even worse than it was him not feeling the same. 
“How did you—” He stops mid-sentence, looking so utterly floored you’ve figured it out that you forget any and all previous doubts of Lando not sharing your feelings. “Have I been that obvious?” 
“Max let it slip.” 
He lets out a groan, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily before opening them again. “Max couldn’t keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it, the twat.”
“Y’know, he said the same thing,” You giggle quietly. 
“Because it’s true! His big mouth has been getting me into trouble since the day we met.” 
“Do you think falling in love with me is trouble?” 
“No! God, no, absolutely not,” Lando insists, shaking his head. In one fell swoop, he manages to shift the both of you so you’re on top of him now, sitting on his thighs with a leg on either side of him. His hands travel up from your waist to cup your face in his palms reassuringly. “The opposite, really. I think you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I just…I wanted to tell you on my own terms. Had it all planned out too.” 
“Oh yeah?” You hum, hooking your fingers over his biceps. “What'd you have planned?” 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teases, grinning from ear to ear. You make a pleading noise from the back of your throat, but he just shakes his head, zipping his lips with an imaginary key and pretending to hold it high above his head. 
You play along, going to reach up for it, but Lando leans forward, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It’s a total distraction move, and it works. You forget all about what his plans could’ve been, the thoughts quelled by his mouth on yours, kissing you sweetly. 
Your hands slide over the broadness of his shoulders without thinking, fingertips pressing into lean muscle to keep yourself upright. 
“Ow, fuck—” He hisses, pulling away from you with a wince. Thinking you’ve hurt him, your eyes go wide. “Sunburn,” He explains hastily. 
You scramble off of him. “I am so sorry!”
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m fine, let’s just—” He leans in for another kiss, but the moment is over now. 
You snuggle into his side, splaying a hand over his chest. Your fingers immediately go to toy with his necklace. “What will things be like when your break ends, when we have to go back to our separate lives?” 
If your question catches him off guard, he doesn’t show it. He just sighs like he’s been thinking about the same thing, rubbing a hand down your arm. “Honestly? I’m not sure. Tried not to think of it much, really.” 
“It’s coming soon.” Your voice is almost a whisper, like saying it as soft as you can would make the day you have to leave each other never come. “Too soon.”
“Too soon,” He echoes sadly. “Do you—I mean, would you want to go public?” 
The first answer that pops into your head is no. 
No, you don’t want to make your relationship known to the public. Lando is a celebrity, and within that territory comes many things you aren’t comfortable with sharing. And it might be selfish of you for the thought to even cross your mind, but part of you doesn’t want to share Lando with the world. 
You’ve gotten used to your peaceful little bubble the last few weeks, and once he returns to racing, that bubble will be popped. It might only be a matter of time before people start to figure things out, and you’re not ready for that. Until you part ways, you don’t even want to think about it. 
“Hey, it’s okay,” Lando murmurs, drawing you out of your spiraling thoughts. His hand is on your face again, cradling your cheek tenderly, thumb rubbing over your cheek. “We’ll keep things under wraps. I’ve got no problems with that.” 
“You don’t?” 
“You sound surprised.” 
“I’m not,” You say immediately. You must not sound very convincing, because Lando tilts his head in question. “I mean—maybe I am? I just thought you’d want to, y’know, go out and stuff. Press events and races, like the other drivers’ partners.” 
“You’ve been looking?” He sighs, but not unkindly. More like an oh, I wish you hadn’t kind of way. 
“Yeah. A little.” You feel a little embarrassed admitting it, but you just wanted to know what might be expected of you as Lando’s girlfriend. 
In doing so, however, all you’ve done is hurt your own feelings. In your hours long deep dive about Formula 1 WAGs, as you’ve come to learn they’re called, there seem to be some commonalities.
They’re all brilliant, accomplished women. Some of them are models, some athletes, some businesswomen. Everything about them seems pristine and polished, always perfect. From their makeup, to their clothes, even their posture is perfect. You, on the other hand, you’re nothing like them. You’re not a model, you’re not as accomplished or as brilliant, and yeah, most of the time you slouch when you sit. 
You’re just…you. 
And for some reason, Lando likes you. Loves you. That should be enough for you, and you hate that it isn’t. 
You hate that at the very back of your brain, the thought that you’re not good enough for him digs its way into your self conscience, burrowing deep into the pit of your stomach. It has its claws in you, and it isn’t letting go any time soon. You’re not sure it ever will. 
“You’re spiraling again, baby,” Lando chides lightly, bringing you back to the present moment once more. You meet his gaze again, thinking you’ll find pity, but seeing nothing but adoration. He bumps your chin with his knuckles lightly. “I love you. Not who you think you should be.” 
Your heart swells so big you’re certain it might burst out of your chest. Lando knew exactly what you needed to hear in this moment of self doubt and didn’t hesitate to tell you. 
You smile at him, leaning forward to press your lips against his with all the love and affection you can muster, because words aren’t enough to explain just how lucky you are to have found someone like him. 
Lando sighs against your mouth, having no hesitation in swinging himself to hover over you. 
You let him nudge you back gently against the pillows, knees falling apart easily to accommodate the thigh he slots between them, and it has him pushing in even closer, chasing the breath right out of your chest with the way he’s kissing you. 
Safe to say, sleep does not take you until a long while later, not until you're both wearing a lot less clothes, tangled in each other’s embrace, fighting to keep your eyes open. Lando tells you he loves you one more time before you drift off for good, a whisper pressed against your temple in the darkened room. 
You’ll sleep well tonight with the ease of knowing that there is no question of how Lando feels about you, about your relationship. Everything is perfect. 
-------
“No, that’s bullshit. I’m not doing that. I don’t care if that’s what they want, I’m not doing it.” 
Lando’s hushed voice is what wakes you up, quiet but still sharp. Firm. 
Light from the bathroom pours in one beam through the cracked door on the other side of the room, piercing the darkness of early morning. You can see him pacing back and forth too, phone pressed to his ear, and it piques your concern. Whoever is on the other side of the line has obviously said something to get him heated. 
Work again, maybe? 
“Is everything okay?” You yawn, squinting at him through the sleep in your eyes as he shuffles back into the bedroom after the call ends.  
“Sorry for waking you,” He says stiffly. You pull yourself into an upright position.
“S’okay. What’s wrong?” Lando just tosses his phone into the mess of clothes in his bag on the chair. You’ll take that as a no, everything is not okay, and yes, something is wrong. “Lando.” 
He sits at the edge of the bed, facing away from you, elbows braced on his knees. You scoot towards him, smoothing a gentle hand over his back as your chin presses into his shoulder, his skin still warm under your fingers. You’re not sure what's wrong, but whatever it is, you’re there for him. 
“There’s pictures of us from the other night, at the club, and the beach. People took pictures of us together and now they’re all over social media.” 
Your heart sinks. “Oh. That’s not great, is it?” 
“No. Not really.” 
“Was that your PR officer calling?” You ask. Lando nods. “What did they say?” 
“Best to not go online today. And turn off your notifications too, because they’ll find you fast. Honestly, just turn off your phone.” He stands abruptly from the bed, away from you, pacing and muttering and raking his hands through his hair. You can almost see the cogs in his brain spinning from where you are.
This is foreign territory to you. You haven’t the slightest idea on how to deal with a situation like this one. You’re not even sure Lando fully does, given the way he’s acting right now. 
Still, it feels…violating. Having photos taken of you without your knowledge or consent, then having those photos spread around like they’re some sort of gossip. Even more so because you’ve felt safe around Lando up until this moment. 
Now he’s telling you to stay offline, to turn off your phone because strangers on the Internet will find you. You don’t even want to know what’ll happen when they do. 
“Will you slow down for a minute, please?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. He doesn’t answer, just continues in his back and forth actions. “Can we talk about this, or have you gotten everything about our relationship figured out on your own already?” 
It’s a bit petty, a little bratty of you. Of course he hasn’t gotten much of anything figured out—he’s only just been made aware of the situation that had likely progressed overnight. It isn’t something he should be having to deal with on his summer break, but he does. 
He stops in his tracks, stares at you blankly, and for a second, you think he’ll sit down and listen to you. But then he’s on the move again, rifling through his bag for something. “I think I should take you home.” 
You let out a sharp exhale, raising a skeptical brow. “Are you serious right now?” 
“Why wouldn’t I be? This isn’t a joke, this is my image we’re talking about.” He procures a wrinkled shirt from the depths of his bag, wasting no time in pulling it over his head. 
That leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re very aware that you have no idea what it’s like for him, no idea what it’s like to have your every move be so up for public speculation. That being said, you do know how a biting jab like that makes you feel. 
“Your image!” You chuckle wryly. “Oh, I’m so sorry, you’re right. You need to keep up your image, my bad.” 
There goes the tic in his jaw again. He’s still not making eye contact with you either, which irks you to no end. “Let me find my keys, I’ll drive you home.” 
“No, that’s okay. I’ll just take an Uber. Wouldn’t want to put your image at risk any more than I already have.” You throw the blankets off yourself, going to find your clothes yourself. 
Lando lets out a frustrated noise from the back of his throat. He’s probably just as ticked off as you are, but you're not really thinking of that right now. “C’mon, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll drive you home, sweetheart.” 
Sweetheart. He’s being all pissy like this and he still has the nerve to call you that. You fight to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname. You’re still getting used to it. Right now, you have a love hate relationship with it. 
“Fine.” 
That’s the last word said by either of you until you're almost back to your place. By this point, you've cooled down considerably. You’ve gathered your thoughts enough to realize you were being a little bitchy about the situation. He’s frustrated, you're frustrated, but it's not either of your faults. 
The car pulls to a stop and the doors unlock automatically, so technically you could just let yourself out without saying anything at all. You almost do, but you don't want to leave things the way they are with Lando right now. 
“I love you,” You say softly, carefully watching him for a reaction. 
The clench in his jaw softens almost imperceptibly, but the crease between his brows, the set of his shoulders, the laser focus he's got on something off in the distance, those still remain. 
It’s an entire world away from the way his face had lit up brighter than the sun when you said the exact same three words to him for the first time, just last night. “Text me when you get back so I know you're home safe?” 
“Yeah, sure.” His voice is clipped, void of any emotion. He doesn't want to talk. That you can see loud and clear. 
Still, you try again. “I’m sorry about the photos, Lan.” 
“Not your fault.” 
It’s not your fault either, you want to say. You want to look him in the eyes and tell him everything will be okay, that things will work out in the end. You don't—you can’t—because he’s angled himself away from you. 
Tears burn at the edges of your eyes and you think you can feel your heart crack a little bit, but you will yourself to get out of the car before he can see them fall. The last thing you need is to add to whatever is going on inside his head right now. 
Yeah, maybe you’d been a little combative with him at first, but at the end of everything, you love him now. You still want to figure things out together. But judging by the way he won’t even look you in the eye right now, it isn’t what he wants. 
How could you go from basking in the light of newfound love to barely being able to get a word out of him, with just one phone call? A phone call about you, your relationship with Lando, one where you don’t even know what was said. 
You hear him pull away as soon as you shut the door behind you. 
Is it bad that a small part of you is glad he waited for you to get inside? It means he still cares about you enough to make sure you’re in safely, even though he might be upset with you. 
Then you’re hit with the fact that he is upset with you, and that sliver of hope vanishes. 
You sink down onto the cold tile of the entryway, back against the door. Everything was so good and now it’s all going to shit, and you hate to think about how you’ve messed things up. 
“Tell us everything and don’t leave a single detail—” Maren’s gleeful shout dies in her throat the second she comes barreling around the corner and sees you on the floor with your head in your hands. 
She’s quick to call for the other two, rushing to your side in a second and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 
“I’m gonna kill him. Do I need to kill him?” Samira sounds beyond angry. You’ve only ever seen her this angry a few times, all of which you were glad to have never been the source of. 
Camille hushes Samira’s threats, kneeling by your other side. “What happened?” 
“Too much,” You mumble, half muffled by the sleeve of your jumper. Lando’s jumper. You want to rip it off and chuck it in the bin, but it’s the same one he’d been wearing the first night you spent together—soft and well loved, smelling like his cologne. Instead, your hands clench into fists around the worn cotton, squeezing the material tight between your fingers. 
You eventually find your way to the couch, where you remain until nightfall nears, a half empty bottle of wine sitting open on the coffee table in front of you while your comfort show plays quietly on the television. Realistically, you should be getting ready to go for a night out on the town, but you’re all in your pajamas, curled up against each other nicely. 
You’d managed to tell them what was going on through tears that had stopped a while ago, but the thought of Lando putting up walls to keep you out of the situation still burns bright in your mind. 
The doorbell rings suddenly and you wrinkle your nose, confused. 
Camille untangles herself from the pile, squeezing your hand gently. “I’ll get it! It’s probably our food.” You didn’t even know she’d ordered dinner, but you won't complain. All this wallowing in your hurt feelings has really spurred an appetite. 
But then Maren and Samira leave for the door too and you're alone on the couch, even more confused. 
“Don’t get mad at us, okay?” 
Your mouth pulls into a confused frown at your friends who’ve just reappeared, but then you see Lando step into the room. He looks disheveled and just like you were hoping he’s been feeling—guilty. 
Your eyes flick to the girls. You don’t feel betrayed, but rather the thought of them reaching out to Lando brings you a surge of love. 
They’ve always known what you need, even if you don’t know it yourself. 
“You two need to talk things out, so we’ll be in the kitchen. But if you make her cry again and I’ll kick your pretty rich boy ass, I swear to—” The rest of Samira’s threat is cut off by the other two pulling her out of sight. 
That just leaves you and Lando, staring at each other, expressions unreadable. He steps forward, hesitant feet bringing him to the edge of the couch, where he perches awkwardly. 
“Hey,” He says meekly, shoving his hands into the big pocket of his jumper. You can’t bring yourself to greet him back. “You weren’t answering any of my texts or calls.” 
He looks like he wants to reach out for you but refrains himself from doing so. You’re partly glad he does, because if he did, you’re not sure you could’ve stopped yourself from burying yourself in his arms. 
Instead, you stare at him blankly. “You told me to turn off my notifications.” 
Lando sucks in a breath through his teeth, head bobbing slightly. “I did say that, didn’t I?” 
“You shut me out, Lando. You wouldn’t even tell me what was happening,” You grit out. You’re hurt, to say the least. You hope he knows that. “Don’t you think I have the right to know what’s going on?” 
“I know. I know, and I’m sorry,” He insists, almost pleading. “I didn’t mean to shut down like that. I guess I’m just used to doing these kinds of things on my own, y’know? Usually when my name trends on social media, it’s something I’ve done. Something I’ve got to deal with the aftermath of. But now, this time…” 
“This time, there’s me,” You finish, frowning.
“Yeah. It isn’t just my life I have to think of, it’s yours too. Having your every move watched and judged by people who don’t know you is the last thing I want for you to have to go through. I can handle it because it comes with the job, but you shouldn’t have to. It isn’t fair to you.” 
“It’s not your fault.” 
“Isn’t it? We’re in this situation because of me. Because of who I am.” 
“You didn't ask for this. Like you said, it comes with the job, no matter what you do.”
“Yeah, but I—”
“Lando, I’m not mad that the photos got leaked, I was hurt because you just took me home and left me here without telling me what was going on,” You say. Your voice only wavers the tiniest bit, and you fight it even more. “It felt like you didn't want me to have any input on our relationship, and that's not what a relationship is supposed to be like. At least, not one that I want to be in. I would hope you’d feel the same way.” 
“I do. Baby, I do feel the same way. I love you, and I should’ve said it back in the car, I know. And I was angry this morning, but not at you, and I should’ve made that clear too. I was upset and I made some rash decisions, and I’m so sorry,” He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. When he opens them again, there's pain swirling within them. “I just wanted something to be just mine for once. I wanted our relationship, I wanted you to be that something, because in my life, everything is public. Even if I’d rather it not be, somehow it always ends up out there for the whole world to see, and I don’t want that for us. I know you don’t want that. I don’t ever want you to feel like you're giving up anything to be with me. That being said, I understand if you want to call things off.” 
He doesn’t look at you when he says it, but the pure sense of defeat in his tone makes your guarded posture finally soften.
Despite how things were left this morning, the thought of calling things off with Lando had never even crossed your mind. The fact that he thinks it was enough to make you want to break up with him has every ounce of frustration you have towards him leaving your body. 
“I don’t,” You say firmly. His head flies up, gaze snapping to yours, a mixture of relief and confusion. “I don’t wanna break up, Lan.”
“Thank god, ‘cause I don’t either.” Finally, he reaches a hand out towards you, and you feel okay enough to crawl over and curl into his side. He immediately presses a smattering of kisses against the side of your head that makes your stomach feel all fuzzy again. “I hate that your privacy was stripped away so soon.” 
“Honestly? Part of me knew something like this might happen,” You admit, pulling his arm around you snugly. “I’ve made my peace with it.” 
“You have?” 
You shoot him a tiny frown paired with a sharp exhale. “Well, obviously it’s not great, but it was bound to happen at some point, right?” 
“So you’re cool with it?” 
“I’m not ready to make it publicly official, if that's what you're asking. But I’m…not as upset as I thought I’d be.” You shrug, humming thoughtfully. “Can I ask what your team said on the phone?” 
Lando lets a mirthless scoff escape from the back of his throat. It stings less now that you know he's not upset with you for asking about it. “They wanted me to say you were just some random girl. That you were a fan, or something, and that I didn’t know you.” 
“Well, that seems a little excessive.” 
“Yeah, I know, I said the same thing! Nobody with half a brain would believe it either. I mean, just look at us.” He digs his phone out of his pocket, scrolling around until he finds what he’s looking for and flipping it around for you to look at. 
Turns out you’d been right on the nose about someone recognizing Lando at the club. The photo is grainy and a little blurry, but you can tell it's him cozied up behind you even though his head is tipped down. There’s no mistaking that messy head of curls. 
Then there’s the one at the beach, of the two of you holding hands as you walk along the shore with your heels dangling from Lando’s fingers. There’s a video too—Lando brushing your hair away from your face before leaning in to kiss you gently. 
It’s still an invasion of privacy, definitely, but there's something romantic about it. Like, at least it's nothing bad. It’s just an outwards expression of your love. You might not be quite ready to share that love with the world just yet, but one day, you might.
“Y’know, if you ignore the whole gossip mill of it all, the pictures are actually kinda cute.” 
“Ha! You think so?” 
“Sure do. My boobs look great in the club one.”
Lando draws his lower lip between his teeth, shamelessly zooming in on the specific photo. “Mm, yeah they do, huh?” 
You scoff, digging your elbow into his stomach lightly. “Stop that!” 
“What? You said it, I’m just agreeing!” He protests, holding his hands up in surrender. Then he tilts his head hopefully. “We’re okay now? I’m forgiven for being a big stupid idiot?” He asks, tilting his head hopefully. You chuckle, nodding, and he beams. “Mint! Love you.” 
“I love you too, you big stupid idiot.” 
"Fuck, I love hearing you say that."
"What, big stupid idiot?" You tease, dodging the decorative pillow Lando swings your way.
"Funny. The first part, obviously. Say it again for me?"
"I love you, Lan," You say again, looking directly at him.
The giddy smile that curves his lips and makes his whole face brighten is worth everything to you. You'd tell Lando you love him every single day if it'd make him happy.
“Am I allowed to ask you all to come over? Max is fetching Pietra from the airport and she wants to meet you all so badly, I don’t think I’ll be allowed back in the house if I don’t bring you back with me,” He says, smile turning sheepish. “D’you think the girls are gonna try to kill me?”
“Uh, I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure? It’s a yes or no answer, baby.” 
“I’m ninety percent sure you’ll be fine.” 
“Ninety?” 
“Eighty five.” 
“That’s so much worse.” 
When you inevitably do make it back to Lando’s villa, Max and Pietra have just arrived home too, still outside as Lando pulls up right next to their car. 
Max folds you into a hug once you’re in range, pausing briefly to say quietly into your ear, “I knew you’d work things out. I’d have kicked his ass if he didn’t.”
You squeeze his shoulder gratefully, because you know he’d had something to do with getting Lando to make things right. 
Pietra and Lando bicker kind of like siblings, but even then you can tell they're close. He introduces her to all of you, and she instantly melds in so seamlessly with you and your girls it feels like you’ve been friends for ages, chattering away about what Max has told her about your adventures in Greece so far.
Finally, things really are all perfect in your little world. 
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lvnleah · 2 days ago
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Would love a AWFC!Teen reader fic where she's Leah's younger sister who has always had to deal with being with Leah's sister, so many expectations on her and people being her friends because of Leah (Leah is still very much an amazing sister, loves her baby sister to bits!)
So when she's around ten ish, she makes the choice to not let anyone know Leah is her sister, goes to games but doesn't sit in the family section and sits with friends who she's never told about her family, maybe even uses her mum's maiden name rather than Williamson etc.
Leah is undoubtedly a bit upset about it because she doesn't want to make her little ones passion dampen just by being her (I hc that Leah would very much see R as her baby because that's what she called her when she was born or something) but her and their family all accept it and do what R wants and needs
Cut to R being brought into the senior time, smashing it in the big leagues and getting along well with all of the senior players who are looking at her like 'she seems familiar and I don't know why...' only to find out she's Leah's little sister when she's injured on the pitch or Leah gets injured and she gets all panicked and doesn't want to leave her side
Cue Beth, Katie, Kim etc. Who have all been there for years like 'Holy shit, you've grown up!!!!' Because they probably would've known her when she was younger since they've known Leah that long
Long winded but hopefully you'll like the idea 😂😂
the other williamson | leah williamson.
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thank you for this request! :)
this is one of my favourite fics I’ve written!
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You had always been proud to be Leah’s sister, how could you not be? She was England’s captain after all and an Arsenal star but sometimes being nine years younger than Leah came with its struggles. 
You were only seven when Leah first broke into the senior team and you were so proud of your sisters that for a while it’s all you talked about. Everyone at school knew about your cool big sister Leah and how she was playing for Arsenal. 
At that time, women’s football wasn’t massive so of course you got a bit of stick from a few boys in your class but it wasn’t anything you could handle. 
“Arsenal women?” One of them scoffed one day in the playground, “that isn’t a proper team!”
You looked the boy straight in the eye. “They are a proper team! My sister’s going to be the best player in the world, just you watch!”
The boy had rolled his eyes and laughed, but you didn’t care. You’d march off, determined to prove him wrong. Well, Leah would prove him wrong, and you’d be there cheering her on every step of the way.
For a while, being Leah’s sister was the coolest thing in the world. You loved going to games, sitting with your family, wearing a little Arsenal jersey with Williamson on the back. 
Leah always made time for you, even when her schedule got busy. She’d let you run around on the pitch after matches, ruffle your hair, and call you “my little bubba,” no matter how much you protested.
But as you got older, things changed.
By the time you were fifteen, Leah was a household name. Women’s football had grown massively, and she was basically the face of it after winning the euros. People started treating you differently, not because of who you were, but because of who your sister was.
At school, kids who’d never spoken to you before suddenly wanted to be your friend. “Can you get me an autograph from Leah?” they’d ask, or, “Do you think she’d come to my party?” Teachers started expecting more from you, too, as if being Leah Williamson’s sister meant you had to be perfect at everything.
At the academy, it was worse. You had been lucky enough to sign for the Arsenal academy when you were twelve but after the euros things changed. Every time you stepped onto the pitch, you could feel the weight of their eyes on you.
Coaches would compare you to Leah, even though you were nothing like her as a player. You didn’t even play in the same position, you were a striker not a defender. Teammates would make comments, sometimes kind, sometimes not.
“She’s only on the team because her sister’s Leah Williamson,” someone whispered once after you scored. “She’s not even good enough for the academy.”
It stung more than you cared to admit.
That was when you made your decision. You didn’t want to be known as Leah’s sister anymore. You wanted to be you. That night after training, you came home and broke down in tears to your mum. 
“Bubba, what’s wrong?” Amanda asked you as you stormed into the house, flinging your bag down onto the ground. 
You sat down with a huff as more tears started to escape, Jacob gave Amanda a look, “Been like this since I picked her, won’t say what’s wrong though.” Your brother sighed.
“I’m fine,” you muttered, wiping at your face angrily, though the tears kept falling.
Amanda crouched down in front of you, her voice soft. “You’re clearly not fine, Bubba. Come on, tell me what’s going on.”
You glanced up at her, hesitating. Part of you didn’t want to say it. You didn’t want to sound ungrateful for the opportunities you had or for Leah being your sister but the words tumbled out before you could stop them.
“I’m sick of it, Mum,” you said, your voice cracking. “Sick of being just Leah’s sister. Everyone at the academy thinks I’m only there because of Leah. They don’t even see me as my own person, just as ‘Leah’s little sister.’ I can’t do it anymore.”
Amanda’s face softened, and she sat beside you before pulling you into a hug. “Oh, Bubba. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
Jacob sat down next to you on the couch on the other side, frowning. “That’s not fair. You’re talented in your own right. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.”
“But I'm always being compared to Leah, J,” you said, though your voice wavered. “No one believes that I'm good enough. They just think I’m riding on Leah’s name.”
Amanda kissed your temple, “You are good enough. And I understand why this is so hard for you. But what do you want to do about it? How can we help?”
You hesitated, chewing your bottom lip. “I don’t want to be ‘Williamson’ anymore,” you finally said. “I want to use your maiden name, Mum. I want to be a Baker, not Leah’s sister.”
Amanda blinked, taken aback for a moment, but then she nodded slowly. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll support you. Right, Jacob?”
“Of course,” Jacob said, ruffling your hair. “You’re still you, no matter what name’s on the back of your shirt.”
A lump formed in your throat, but you nodded, feeling a small wave of relief.
“What about Leah?” Amanda asked gently. “Have you talked to her about this?”
You froze. You hadn’t thought about how Leah would feel. “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s always been so proud of me, but…”
“But you need to do this for yourself,” Amanda finished for you. “You know she’ll understand.”
You nodded.
Later that evening, when Leah got home from training, you sat down and told her everything. You expected her to be upset or worse, disappointed but instead, she pulled you into a tight hug.
“Bubba,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I had no idea you were feeling like this. I’m so sorry, I’ve made things harder for you.”
“You didn’t,” you said quickly. “It’s not your fault, Le. I’m so proud of you, but I just need to figure out who I am without being ‘your sister.’”
Leah nodded, her hands on your shoulders. “I get it. And I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Whatever name you use, you’ll always be my little Bubba, okay?”
You laughed through your tears, hugging her tightly.
That night, you went to bed feeling lighter than you had in months. You were ready to step out of Leah’s shadow and into your own light.
Fast forward a few years, you were now eighteen and transitioning into the senior team. Leah was now twenty-seven and somehow everyone had managed to keep it a secret that you were Leah’s sister. 
Majority of the girls that you played with had either left the academy or completely stopped playing football. Your shirt name was now Baker and had been for two years now, your coaches were different too and everyone just thought that Leah was your family friend. 
“Excited for your first senior training, bubba?” Leah asked you one December morning as she drove you both to the training ground. 
You shrugged, a mixture of emotions, “Bit nervous…” you muttered, “Excited but nervous.”
Arsenal’s senior team had a new coach, Renee Slegers, and she had been to watch the u18s a few times. For some reason, she had seen something in you and wanted you to come train with the senior team and potentially play a few games. 
“You’ve got this, Bubba. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t good enough. Renee knows what she’s doing, and so do you.” Leah told you. 
You nodded, trying to let her words sink in. You knew Leah believed in you, she always had, but the pressure of stepping into the senior team felt overwhelming. It wasn’t just about proving yourself, it was about proving you belonged and you were separate from Leah.
When you arrived at the training ground, Leah walked in beside you, her confidence making her look so at ease. Meanwhile, your stomach churned as the nerves threatened to take over. You adjusted your backpack, trying to focus on your breathing.
“Relax, Bakes,” Leah said with a smirk, using the nickname some of your academy teammates had given you after you changed your last name. “They’re going to love you.”
As you entered the changing room, you were immediately greeted by familiar faces, some you hadn’t seen in years. Beth grinned as soon as she spotted you.
“No way! Little Bubba? Is that you?” Beth’s voice was teasing, her eyes wide in mock disbelief.
You groaned internally. So much for keeping the “Bubba” nickname under wraps. “It’s Baker now,” you corrected with a sheepish smile, but your voice was warm. You couldn’t help but laugh a little as Beth pulled you into a quick hug.
“Leah didn’t tell us you’d grown up so much!” Beth teased. “Last time I saw you, you were, what, fifteen?”
“Beth,” Leah interrupted, shooting her a warning look, though she was clearly trying not to laugh.
More players filtered in, all of them reacting with surprise when they realized who you were. Some of them hadn’t seen you since you were a kid, tagging along to games and family events. For others, it was the first time they’d met you. 
“Wait, wait, wait,” Katie said, holding up her hands. “So you’re telling me Leah’s been hiding this one from us? You’re playing with us now?”
You felt your cheeks burn as all eyes turned to you, but Leah stepped in, her tone light and teasing. “She wanted to make it on her own. Didn’t want to ride my coattails.”
“Fair play,” Kim said with an approving nod. “Gotta respect that.”
Leah turned to you, her smile soft. “Alright, Bubba, I mean Baker, time to show them why you’re here.”
You gave her a small, grateful smile before heading out to the pitch. As you jogged onto the field with the team, the nervous energy in your chest began to settle. You reminded yourself why you were there. Not as Leah’s sister, but as you.
And as the session began, you could feel yourself falling into the rhythm of the game you loved, the sound of the ball connecting with your boot grounding you. The team was fast, skilled, and ruthless, but you held your own. A well-timed run, a sharp finish past the keeper and it wasn’t long before you felt like you belonged.
At the end of training, Renee pulled you aside, her expression calm but firm. “You did well today. Keep this up, and we’ll see about getting you some minutes in the next match.”
Your heart soared at her words, but you kept your face neutral, nodding. “Thank you, Coach.”
Leah was waiting for you by the car when you finally made it out of the locker room. She raised an eyebrow, clearly trying to gauge how you were feeling.
“Well?” she asked as you climbed in.
You smiled, the weight on your shoulders feeling just a little lighter. “I think I did okay.”
Leah grinned, her pride shining through. “I told you, Bubba. You’ve got this.”
The night of your debut arrived quicker than you expected. Arsenal was playing a league game at Meadow Park against Crystal Palace, and the squad list had you on the bench. You tried to focus during the pre-match warm-ups, but your nerves were all over the place. Leah, as always, noticed.
“Stop overthinking,” she whispered as the two of you jogged back to the dugout after the warm-up. “Just play your game. If you get on, don’t try to do too much. Be you.”
You nodded, though the butterflies in your stomach didn’t ease. The match started, and you watched intently from the bench, studying the pace of the game and trying to picture where you’d fit in.
By halftime, Arsenal was up 1–0, the goal coming from Leah. Renee made a couple of changes early in the second half, but your name wasn’t called. You were beginning to think your debut would have to wait until another day when, in the 70th minute Renee called you. 
“Baker, you’re on,” Renee said, her voice firm but encouraging. “Stay calm, yeah? Leah’s out there with you. We’re doing okay, 3-0, so just stay calm, yeah? Try your hardest.”
You nodded, barely able to believe this was actually happening. Leah was standing by the touchline, waiting for you, her hand resting casually on her hip. When you reached her, she nudged you with her elbow, a small smile tugging at her lips.
“Ready for this, Bubba?”
“Don’t call me that,” you hissed, but you couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped.
The referee blew the whistle, and you stepped onto the pitch, replacing Beth up top. Leah gave you a quick pat on the back as you ran to your position. “You’ve got this.”
The first few minutes were a blur. The pace of the game was faster than anything you’d experienced before, but you adjusted, remembering Leah’s advice: play your game.
Then, in the 80th minute, the ball came to you. Leah had intercepted a pass in and played a perfect through ball into your path. You took a touch, your heart pounding as you found yourself one-on-one with the keeper.
You steadied yourself, then slotted the ball into the bottom corner with your left foot. For a moment, everything went silent, and then the roar of the fans hit you all at once.
You’d scored on your debut.
Leah was the first to reach you, lifting you off your feet in a tight hug. “That’s my sister!” she shouted, her voice full of pride.
The rest of the team swarmed you, congratulating you with slaps on the back and ruffling your hair. The chant of your name began to ripple through the crowd, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you belonged, not as Leah’s sister, but as you.
When the final whistle blew, Arsenal had secured a 5–0 victory. Leah pulled you into another hug as you both walked off the pitch.
“Told you you’d smash it,” she said, her grin wide.
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop smiling. “Thanks, Le.”
That night, as you sat with Leah in the kitchen at home, replaying the match in your head, she looked at you and said softly, “You’re going to have a great career, Bubba. I’m proud of you, you know that?”
For the first time, you didn’t mind the nickname. “Thanks, Le. Means a lot.”
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sagekjs21 · 3 days ago
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1. There are only three TV shows that I care about at all anymore: The Chosen, When Calls the Heart, and Heartland. They really don't overlap much, so I don't really have a backlog of TV that I need to watch. When these three shows are completed, I am very unlikely to pick up any new shows at all, I have pretty much lost all interest in TV other than these three shows. 
2. I don't have a favorite pair. 
3. Yes, of all different sorts. When I make my own, I always add spinach or kale because if you blend it properly you can't even taste it and it just packs the smoothie full of vitamins and nutrients. 
4. My order of preference would be dress pants first and foremost, a skirt is tolerable, and I try to avoid dresses like the plague. If I have to though I will. I literally own one dress and one skirt. 
5. In an omelette with cheese, different types of breakfast meats, and different combinations of vegetables depending upon my mood. For just plain eggs though, I prefer them scrambled with a bunch of pepper. 
6. Whatever is handy: a bookmark, a receipt, a random piece of junk mail, anything really. I don't dog ear the pages though. 
7. I've got a fairly decent mixture. I prefer black, blue, red, and white, but as far as I know the only color missing is pink and it's going to stay that way lol. 
8. No. I used to, I used to collect all kinds of things. But I've moved around enough times in my life to know that holding onto stuff is not something that I am suited for. I'm not a true minimalist, but I don't like collecting a bunch of stuff either. 
9. A cat purring, running water, birds, a music box, the perfume my grandmother used to wear, vanilla, coconut, the perfume that I wear most often
10. No opinion
11. I wear sunglasses outside and in brightly lit rooms/buildings.
12.  I've got two best friends, and I love their enthusiasm. Both of them, when they get on a topic that they love or get an idea that they're excited about, they're like little kids. 😊 @titaniumpeony @pinestripe37 ❤️
13. If I have to write by hand, pen, but I much prefer to type. 
14. Really only at my church, my current home, and the house that my grandmother used to live in which I will probably never visit again. 
15. Not applicable 
16. Also not applicable. I don't think I've owned a hoodie since around 2012. Not really my style. Not feminine enough. 
17. Food on DoorDash lol. As to which restaurant, I honestly can't remember. 
18. Lots of biblical things, particularly the good ones surrounding Jesus. 
19. Not applicable 
20. I'm good at the basics, I'm good at algebra, I'm good at geometry, and I'm good at trigonometry. I have never done calculus and so I have no idea what my skill set is there, and the only math I ever struggled with was statistics but I still managed to get an a. Barely. 
21. Definitely not applicable lol. 
22. Usually iced unless it is very very cold outside. 
23. Anything that comes up that I know the lyrics to and enjoy. 
24. Of course I am! I am seriously the best driver that anyone would ever meet. 😊 For anyone reading this that doesn't know, I'm partially blind and legally am unable to drive ever. 
25. Just the average pierced ears, and I don't want any other piercings and definitely no tattoos. 
26. Both! I've got a lot of different stuff that I think is good and a lot of people compliment me on. Probably my spaghetti sauce would be one of the top things. I can make pretty much anything though and have fun tweaking and playing around with a lot of ingredients and recipes. 
27. Just one. And honestly I can't even think of what it is lol. I know it has to do with the state of Arizona and it's some kind of picture but that's all I can remember. 😊 
28. I would consider myself an intermediate swimmer. I know more than just the basics, I know a few different strokes, I took lessons for either six or seven years quite a while ago. However I'm not exceptionally fit and so speed would definitely be my downfall and I don't know anything advanced. 
29. I had a very basic set when I was very little, and when I was maybe 12 or 13 one of my friends had a bit of a more complex set but it didn't really have a theme. 
30. Yes, from left to right: tank tops, short sleeve shirts, three-quarter sleeve shirts, long sleeve shirts, sweaters that act as shirts, pants, my skirt, jackets/sweaters. My dress is in a different closet as are my extra pairs of shoes. 
31. I have absolutely no idea. Probably one of the songs that @pinestripe37 sent me about Psalm 23. 
32. I wouldn't. 
33. Earbuds 
34. Of course. 
35. It's a black and white cat that @pinestripe37 gave me for my last birthday. 
36. I'm not really good at many of them because they generally contain a lot of visual aspects, but I do have fun playing at arcades. Haven't done that in years and now I kind of want to lol. 
37. I prefer it. It gives me someone to talk to and if they want to help out they can and if not that's OK too. 
38. I don't have any secret TV shows or musicians that I like that I'm too embarrassed to tell people about. I mean really, I don't care. My music taste very eclectic, I still like the Backstreet Boys and a few songs from the Spice Girls and I really don't mind admitting that at all lol. If people are going to judge me based on that I probably don't want them in my life anyway. 
39. Receiving a bunch of very useful information from God. But a lot of good stuff happened today, I mean tons of it! 😊 it was one of the best days I've had in a long time. 😊 
40. Probably a Christmas tree of some sort or a palm tree
41. Usually either vanilla or coconut
42. Not applicable 
43. This is a super weird question. For me most of the time I shower with the lights off but that's because light from the windows gives me enough light in my bathroom to see by. It wouldn't for people with normal vision, so this question has me wondering why anybody would shower in the dark. I probably don't want to know the answer to that. 
44. I usually give it to people, friends, street people, I may put it in a tip jar or just anything of that sort, I don't like holding onto spare change at all.
45.  definitely not lol
46. I can't think of anything specifically, but probably a book or a song. 
47. Only if I'm with someone. Going on a walk by myself is boring.
48. No. 
49. I like to go out and stand in the rain. I don't care if it's sprinkling or pouring. Yeah, I'm that crazy person lol. Smile 😊
50.  a comfortable bed for sure, a pillow that provides lots of head and neck support, the room is not too hot or too cold but the perfect temperature, and I can sleep the whole night through without waking up. 
50 Questions Just Because
What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?
Describe your favorite pair of socks
Do you like smoothies?
What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?
How do you like your eggs?
What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?
What color dominates your closet?
Do you collect anything? If so, what?
What sounds or scents calm you down?
What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)
Do you wear glasses or contacts?
What’s something about your best friend that you love?
Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?
What are some places where you feel most at home?
Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?
Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?
What’s the last thing you ordered online?
What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?
What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?
What kind of math are you best at?
What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!
Iced or hot drinks?
Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?
Are you a good driver?
Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?
Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?
Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!
Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?
Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?
Is your closet organized? If so, how?
What’s the last music video you watched?
If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?
Headphones or earbuds?
Can you read analog clocks?
Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.
What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?
Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?
What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?
What was the best part of your day today?
What’s your favorite kind of tree?
What scent is your deodorant?
Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?
Do you shower with the lights on or off?
What do you do with spare change?
Do you have good handwriting?
What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?
Do you like to go on walks?
Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?
What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?
Describe your perfect sleeping conditions
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kisssukuna33 · 10 hours ago
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Boxerbf Sukuna! Who always have you over at his house the night before an important match. It helps with the stress he says.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who always put on a TV show before you two settle into the couch for cuddles. Usually the cuddling session is a mix of him relaxing against you as you ask him questions about the match tomorrow.
"You packed an extra pair of shorts this time right? Remember what happened last time"
"yeah I did"
"Did you iron the clothes?"
"Uraume took care of it"
"That new protein shake your nutritionist recommend, Did you take it?"
"Already did"
"What about the snacks during the game tomorrow? did Uraume-
"oh my god baby relax, it's all taken care of"
He says in somewhat of an annoyed tone as he pulls you even closer to his chest, tightening his grip around you. But deep down he loves it when you are concerned about him like this.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who insists that having a good time before the match tomorrow isn't a problem to him but you reject the offer firmly because you know how Sukuna gets whenever you two started something.
It always ends up dragging for hours so no, your bf needs his beauty sleep for tomorrow.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who pouts slightly when you say no to him but decides to settle with the short make out session instead, better than nothing he thinks.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who teasingly steals few touches from your sensitive areas, clearly trying to rile you up but stops after seeing the glare you gave him.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who never seems to be the type to get much nervous before matches. Because of his Overconfidence? His never ending Ego? maybe. But his ability to stand strong in situations like this always makes your heart flutter.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who always makes sure you get the best VIP seat to his match, You always need to be in the front lines where he can see you from clearly when he beat up his opponent back to his ancestors.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who always find a way to bring you up in the Media press. Sukuna is widely known by the audience for being a down bad "simp" for his girlfriend as well as a complete disaster for his opponents.
"Mr Ryomen, Do you know there's a whole talk in the internet about you being a simp for your girlfriend? What do you have to say to people who spread things like that?"
"Keep spreading the truth I guess. The internet definitely needs it more"
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who hurries back to his changing room and jumps straight into your arms. Despite your constant nagging for him to get patched up first.
"Baby did you saw the jab-cross I threw before he hit the ground?"
"Yeah it was Amazing Ryo!"
"I did good than the last match, didn't I?"
"Yeah you always do"
"Then I deserve way more than that cheap kiss you gave me earlier don't I?"
"Get patched up first you freak, Uraume's waiting"
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who lets you both into his house as he holds your waist with one arm. He let go of your waist as he makes his way for the bathroom while murmuring something about showering first.
As he started to shower you turn on the tv with the intention of seeing the live match you saw today in the digital screen. And it immediately cuts to a interview Sukuna did just right after winning.
Boxerbf Sukuna! Who seems enthusiastic as ever talking to the reporters about the match he did and the opponent he beat. Not long after he adds a little appreciation from his part.
"My manager Uraume helped me with a lot of stuff so I truly appreciate them. Also my girlfriend stayed up beside me every night when I practiced and supported me in everything, this win is hers as much as it is mine."
"if you're watching this I love you baby"
A warm feeling start to take over your chest as you hear his words. The man who's appreciated and idolized by millions saying these things so casually to you, you still can't get your mind around it.
Then the reporter use his luck to ask a risky question one more time.
"it's look like you two have a great relationship together, what do you think about marriage Mr Ryomen?"
To that question Sukuna doesn't respond but instead returns a well knowing little grin as he waves off the interview.
"Tch why did they ruin the moment by asking that, now it looks like he doesn't want to marry me" you said to yourself.
Just as you were about to leave to the kitchen to grab a snack, something shining inside the closet that Sukuna forgot to shut earlier catches your eyes.
Hidden by the cloth piles it was a little jewelry box that had familiar initials on top of it.
It was none other than yours and Sukuna's.
Wait..
No that can't be, Yeah maybe this is the earrings he wanted to give you before.
But much to your surprise the box opened up to reveal a gorgeous wedding ring. A big diamond you sure costed atleast 5 six figures alone sitting on top of it. Inside the ring you and Sukuna's initials were carved into it making it seem even more special to your eyes.
Your heart is jumping from excitement and happiness, everything about your life is starting to get better and better and you can't help but thank Sukuna for it.
You don't want to ruin the surprise he planned for you of course. So you put the box back to it's place and sit on the bed till he's done showering patiently but the stupid smile you had since earlier didn't left your face for once.
"Alright I'm done showering let's slee- what's with you?"
"What's with me? nothing Ryo"
"You're are smiling very creepily woman"
"Ryo that's mean! My smile is not creepy!"
"Yeah whatever come here, freak"
Sukuna says as he drags you closer to his side of the bed while turning off the bedside lamp at the same time. Your bodies intertwine with each other like it was always meant to be. Sukuna's hands wrapping around you as he buries his face into your neck.
"Ryo?"
"hmm"
"I love you"
You can feel a small smile tugging at his lips.
"I love you too princess, more than anything"
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Boxing Kuna is my favorite <33
No grammar checks though sorry :/
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ahappydnp · 2 days ago
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so sorry but ive seen two different things about this now and im very lost, why did people think they were breaking up/broke up in 2012??? pls help me understand, wise keeper of the lore. thank u so much
response under the cut for general 2012 discussion/too long
basically 2012/2013 used to get (and sometimes still is) generalized as this dark and awful time period where dnp "hated" each other and us, when in actuality it was two very young very scared closeted queer people who were in the process of several major life changes at once while also dealing with a new exploding fan base
there's a few big things from that "era" that people talk about:
deleting old posts- around this era dnp deleted a ton of old tweets/formsprings/dailybooths that could read as them being in a relationship. they were blowing up online and had more eyes on them than ever before, not to mention had just starting working with the BBC (where being queer would have greatly affected their careers). also keep in mind dan was still in the closet to EVERYONE, and now he's got tons of fans going through his accounts and sending shit to HIS LITTLE BROTHER on tumblr asking if dan's gay. anyway people decided them deleting early tweets meant they had broken up
dan's customerservice tumblr blog- in the middle of them blowing up and people finding all these old posts, dan in an effort to control the narrative, makes a new blog for people to anonymously ask him questions (: which went about as well as you can imagine for an extremely defensive closeted 20 year old with undiagnosed depression. basically he said some unfortunately things out of fear
the video leaked again- won't get too much into that because of the subject matter, but the yeah the video leaked for the second time except this time way more people saw it/shared it and dnp actually had to respond to it this time. which is. just fucking awful and heartbreaking all around.
phil persona- basically this was the birth of the amazingphil persona that'd follow phil to the quiff era. he became more sanitized and less personable than original phil fans were used to (which got romanticized into uwu he's sad because he and dan broke up and now he's shutting down)
"no homo"- pretty self explanatory...people asked if they were gay (every single day constantly on every platform) and they would say no because what else are they going to say. this one particular vyou where dan's actually trying to make people think kills me (x) god he was so young. but they'd also started doing the "omg i don't want to see you naked/ew people want us to kiss" and the infamous "you need a girlfriend" "my future wife" etc etc.
the breakup rumors mostly stemmed from and became popular/ treated as fact by younger fans who kind of saw them as these fictionalized characters (which i mean not to blame them because they were literal children and youtubers were still so new that people did treat them like tv show characters you could be friends with). it also got turned into more sinister theories like the "dan is abusing phil" ones and "phil is actually gay but dan isn't and just used phil for attention and fame in 2009"
there was also factors like them moving to london in 2012 (and people were CONVINCED they'd stop being friends in london??), people thinking them getting popular would mean they'd get girlfriends like other popular youtubers (shoutout danrific shippers), and most importantly just them sharing less about their personal lives with their audience. like of course they're not going to live tweet their day/location anymore when people are showing up at their house and trying to find their families.
basically, dnp were putting boundaries between themselves and their fans, but the fans interpreted it as putting distance between each other. in actuality the 2012/2013 era was full of some really amazing memories and content and things people loved (literally the photobooth challenge is from 2013!! sleeping phil saying i hate you is from 2012!!!)
in conclusion, imagine building a forever home with your ex lmao
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syluriar · 16 hours ago
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vunerable - sylus x mc!reader
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sypnosis: sylus has never been one to give up control, so you try and help him.
a/n: inspired by @yes-no-maybe-soo i legit just read your sylus hc's today and my brain scrambles to write this because althoug i love sylus bing a sub, you made some excellent points of it being hard for him to give up control because of what he went through in his past life (still haven't recovered, anyone else?).
contains: sylus being scared to give up control and not liking these feelings, mc (you) being so gentle with him. there's a slight mention of attmepted murder from sylus' enemies in the past. sylus crying (of that ever happens in game i swear to god-). angst & comfort.
word count: 1381
you straddle him with your hands resting at his hips, his chest is bare that allows you to see his breathing clearer. he's watching you with those ruby eyes you love so much, but you can see a bit of fear in them, unsurprising at the vulnerable position he's in.
it was your idea to do this, to give him the attention he gives you - the warmth, safety and consent. he knows you would never hurt him, but the image of losing all his control reminds him of his past life, as the dragon who has been beaten and chained for thousands of years. when the past you finally freed him he was determined to take control of his life, to never go back to the scared dragon.
he adores you, and you know that, he would do anything for you...but to give up all control, even if it is just you who takes it away...fear creeps back into him.
you lift a hand and reach up to caress his cheek which he immediately nuzzles into to, and he kisses the palm before releasing a sigh,
"it's only me," your voice is so soft, just louder than a whisper, like it was coaxing an animal out of it's shelter. you lean up and cup his face, thumbs brushing against his cheeks. "i'm the only one that's here."
you take one on your hands to gently run through his hair, an action that has him close his eyes to enjoy the feeling, and it makes your heart swell. "we can stop anytime you like, ok?"
a hum comes from his lips as he opens his eyes, and you see that small amount of fear has been replaced by something else.
he hates that you have to him like this, like he's weak, like he's a scared child who needs comforting - he doesn't like that he's showing this side to you, because how can you depend on him if he doesn't stay strong in front of you?
you kiss his forehead and you can feel some of the tension leave his body. a part of you wants to do this fats, you show sylus that yes of course, he can be like this with you, there's no shame and it and you'll always ben there for him , but you need to take it slow. you will show him all these things by listening to him, both words and body. you don't care how long it will take, because it's what he deserves.
you start to leave kisses all over his face, his cheeks, nose, even his chin that makes a small amused huff leave his lips. you're still gentle when you finally place your lips over his own, his hands coming to hold your waist. at any other moment it would be intense, fingers digging into clothing as your tongues fight each other.
but right now it's soft, like a perfect fluffy cushion you relax in. sylus groans at your mouth and you feel good knowing he does too. you see it in his eyes when you pull away, and the slight pink on his cheeks and the tip of his ears.
you giggle. "do you know how cute you look when you blush?"
he sucks in a breath, clearly surprised by your compliment. "cute?" he looks almost amused. "that not a word people associate with me."
"well they don't know you like i do." you give his lips a quick peck to his lips before your hands descend lower to his shoulders, a lot looser than before. "i kinda like it that way."
"and you call me possessive." he chuckles. the air around you two has become easier, the tension slowly fading away.
for some reason your eyes go to his neck, such a strong thing that often aches because of how much he has to look down at you. you move your hands towards his neck, his sharp intake making you freeze.
"oh..." how could you forget a lot of his enemies go for his neck? a common way to end someones life. you felt stupid. "sorry...i was going to massage it. it aches because of how much you have look down on me, doesn't it?"
he doesn't answer you, his eyes cast aside as he continues to breath heavily. your heart aches at the sight and you retract your hands, placing one back on his cheek. "hey, remember, your still in control. stay stop and i will."
his breath shudders and his shoulders tense up once more, his hands now gripping your waist. he sucks through gritted teeth and turns his head away, as if he was ashamed of himself. 
your heart sings with distress at the sight and you want to feel anger of the people that have made sylus this way, but what good will that do here? 
sylus…” you lean your head to meet him and see something shine from his eyes, falling down his cheek.
a tear.
“oh…” you couldn’t hold back at your reach to brush it away, but when your skin makes contact he flinches, and it makes you want to cry yourself. “it’s me, my love. only me. i’m here.” you brush the tear away, fingers gently thumbing in his cheek to help calm him. 
a strangled noise comes from his throat. “i don’t…i didn’t want you to see me like this…” his voice is in a tone you’ve never heard before, one of pain and distress.
“like what?” you reply softly.
he doesn’t answer straight away and you wait patiently, rubbing soothing circles on his shoulders like he had done to yours in times like this. 
“like i am weak, scared…vulnerable.”
you swallow the lump in your throat at his words, each piercing you harshly through the heart. “sylus…there’s nothing with you feeling any of those things.”
“i need to be strong for you.”
“do the strong always require to be strong?”
repeating his own words to him hit him like bricks, his eyes widening and lips parted in shock. ever so gently you cradle his face, his eyes still looking away from you. “wasn’t it you who said that?”
“...it’s not the same.”
“how isn’t it?” you ask, but he doesn’t reply, so you keep talking. “i don’t need you to be strong for me sylus. don’t you think there’s a strongness in being those things? weak, scared and vulnerable?...to me there is.”
your words make him finally look at you, his eyes still holding surprise. “...there is?”
you nod. “even plants and animals have those types of feelings, so you having them is normal. showing them to me is…letting yourself be loved by me even more than you do now. it shows that you trust me to see you this way, and trust me that i won’t turn you away.” 
you lean forward and turn his face to you before grabbing one of his hands and placing it on your chest, your heart beating loudly underneath. “trust me that i will always be patient with you, that i will never rush you and listen to what you say,”
you grab his other hand and bring it to your lips, softly kissing his knuckles and palm before placing it over your cheek. “and trust me that i will always love you, no matter what.”
he hears your love, your utter devotion to him that makes his heart sing. he stares at you with such loving eyes one might say they never knew it existed, but it’s right here, right in this room and in each other's arms.
he kisses you with such intensity, with such love that it almost makes you fall. with your hands on his shoulders you meet his passion, his devotion, his affection and so much more. he cradles your face as your lips part, heavy breaths falling from both. 
“i love you too, my beloved, so so much.”
he holds you tightly with his head buried in your neck, your arms around his neck and brushing through his hair.
you don’t care how many times this needs to happen, to assure him of your love and devotion, of your patient and his consent. 
because you will never, ever hurt him - he deserves better.
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book-lore · 1 day ago
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Okay so I wasn't going to reply to this but I am still getting over being sick and this stuck to me. And for the record, it's okay that the OP feels this way and what I'm about to say doesn't mean they are wrong or bad or anything. Let's leave that person in peace. But as to why people don't like Valentine's day and some people even hate it, a gentle reminder:
There are a wide variety of reasons people can find certain holidays objectionable and one that tackles love specifically can be especially difficult for people who are struggling. A recent divorcee might wish to sit this day out because it can bring up how difficult being newly out of a relationship can be. This can be made even worse if the relationship was decades long and they aren't sure how to navigate the world of being single that looks nothing like when they were dating before. People who struggle socially who want relationships can find this to be a day that makes them feel a little more lonely. People who have lost a partner might feel their absence more acutely, even if that loss was years ago. People who have escaped abusive situations might have extremely mixed or hostile feelings about Valentines day (especially given how violent partners tend to become worse around holidays and this is extra true where the abused party is expected to behave a certain way). People who are in the closet might be feeling particularly confused or wounded right now as they feel worlds away from being able to accept or even find love.
The point of this isn't to drag the original poster, but it can be good to understand why sometimes hearts can be delightful for some and heavy for others. I know that some people can be well intentioned and say things like "think of the chocolate and candy" or "it's made up anyway" or "celebrate it with your friends instead", but those aren't really helpful. Love and its reminders can mean a lot of things to people and sometimes they bring up the bad emotions. Sometimes what people need isn't candy or hearts or even a pretend reason to see a friend. Sometimes they need to cry and a day that reminds them of loss or something they lack is what does it for them. Sometimes what they need is to know that they aren't the only one who feels like that when stores and displays and everything around them seems to point out what's making them feel sore.
It's okay to enjoy Valentine's Day. There are plenty of ways to do so if that's what you like. It's also okay to sit it out if you're sore or you're feeling a lot. It's alright if it's just another day in February.
dont understand people who "don't like" valentines day... I personally dgaf that its "made up" and "commercialist"... i love heart shaped things and i love everyone in my life. Its really simple
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charlie-ver · 2 days ago
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Hey, you, the trans man reading this - I love you. I know there's posts like this, but I got down a bad rabbit hole last night and I think there's not enough nice posts towards trans men (:
I don't care if you've finished you transition, on won't be ever able to reach the changes you would like. I don't care if you've been on T for years, or just started, or won't be for some years, or can't or don't want to be. I do not care how you dress. I don't care if you want to be pregnant and have children one day. I don't care if you want hysterectomy and don't even want to freeze your eggs (Hell knows I am not freezing anything). I do not care if you want bottom surgery or if you love what you were born with. Because it doesn't matter and doesn't take away from your identity.
Gay trans men? You aren't just confused straight girls. You are valid in your gender AND sexuality. Straight trans men? You aren't a betrayal the moment you are no longer misgendered. You're still welcome in lgbtqia+ spaces. Because you're a part of our community. One does not lose their place the moment they are perceived and cis or cishet.
Cis men have heard it before, but they won't admit it. All this "if you like x you must be a girl" really just feels like repackaged "if you like x you must be gay". Wanna hear a secret?
HOBBIES, JOBS AND FAVORITE THINGS DO NOT HAVE GENDER.
I like botanical gardens. I love plants. I like looking at clothing, room decor, fabric stores sometimes catch my eye. Because I am am artist, and I take inspiration from these and many more things. Plant care and gardening is not a "red flag" for a trans man in my humble and trans opinion, but it's a sign that you have love to give. And that's beautiful. Just like liking these things does not indicate that a man is gay, it does not mean that your internal identity is any different.
Do not let the world put rails on your patch to your own masculinity. And if you have to hide, that's okay. If you can only be yourself online, that's okay. Trans people will always be here. Trans men will always be here. The best thing you can do is to live as safely as you can. I know this can come off as condescending from a European who has nothing to fear personally, except violence for one month in the year, because my way of being trans isn't "obvious", but I try to take it that my safety means I can try to reassure the rest of you, while you can just focus on your own misery and don't have to be strong for anyone but yourself.
If you need a safe place to went, come to my asks. If you don't want me to post them and just read them, that's ok. You can be angry, you can vent, you can cry, do whatever you need, but, obviously, no transphobia or anything (: Special love goes out to trans men who are of the aroace spectrum, because honestly, the aroace discourse never seems to die, it's just dismissed. Reminds me of something. Hm (: I wonder.
Anyhow. Come to me to cry, for a virtual hug, for a distraction, if you'd like. Feel free to ask for art. Want me to draw your trans characters with flags? I can do that, for free, for you. Ask or dm is enough (: Art and listening is the best I can do, but I'll do my best to do it well.
I love you. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy, and you also are wholly entitled to cry, to complain, to be sad, angry, loud, afraid. You are a human being with emotions, you deserve to feel them. Nobody can tell you what your internal identity, what your gender is. Because nobody else can know that. Only you can.
So let me repeat: It does not matter how you dress, whether you are on T, whether you want surgeries or love your body as is, whether you are skinny, fat, or muscular, what accessories and clothes you wear, how your voice sounds, how you act, how you carry yourself and what you like. The only thing that matters is how you feel. And while we're at it, yes, you may change your mind, but it still doesn't invalidate your identity in the moment. There was a time where I thought I was biromantic, but I dropped that because I wasn't, and nobody gave me shit for it. Because nobody should. Whatever you feel right now? Valid. Do you identify at a trans man but don't use he/him? Valid. Do you identify with more genders? Are you maybe a man only sometimes? Or are you more at the same time? All of that is valid, if you feel like a man in some aspect or on some part, you are one, if that's a label you want. If your gender makes more sense as a man, then yeah, you are one. Nothing else but how you feel matters.
I love you, and again, I'm here for you if you need that. I can only listen and draw a little something for you, but maybe that's enough for some. If it can help a bit, I can do it for you.
Anyone derailing this post will be blocked. I have no patience for derailers.
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shurisneakers · 2 days ago
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hey I wanna say I absolutely love your writing ,English is not my first language but your writing cracks me up every time I absolutely adore your work! I wanted to throw in an idea for misery loves company because I really like the grumpy×grumpy ,what about them being loners/grumpy in a wedding,maybe it's Steve's or someone else on the team and they share a quiet dance on the balcony or something so yeah that's my idea ,again love your works ♥️♥️♥️♥️
a/n: hello! thank you for your kindness and for sending this in, I hope you like it <3
this is part of misery loves company but is just a stand alone fic. you don’t need to read anything before this
warnings: swearing, light angst
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You slip out before the first toast.
The balcony is quiet, the air sharp against your skin. Below, the city hums, distant and indifferent. The music is still loud behind you, but out here, it’s muffled, softened by the wind.
You don’t belong inside.
The thought comes unbidden, bitter in your mouth.
So the balcony is cold, the air sharp against your skin. The city sprawls below, distant and untouchable. The music inside is muffled now, voices blending together, champagne bubbling in glasses. It’s still too loud.
You lean against the railing, fingers gripping the cold marble. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. That you don’t care.
You exhale, press your palms against the railing, giving yourself five seconds before you call an Uber to get home.
Behind you, the door creaks open.
"You gonna jump?"
You hear the shuffle of his shoes against the floor as he leans beside you.
You close your eyes. "Go back inside. Make someone else's night worse."
"Yours already looks terrible, I've got a headstart," Bucky says, stepping up beside you.
You don’t turn, but you can feel him watching you, his presence taking up too much space in a very spacious balcony.
"You left early," he grunts out.
"So did you," you mutter.
"Yeah," he says. "People started looking at me like they wanted to ask me to dance."
You scoff. "You just think everyone’s in love with you."
"You're not proving me wrong," he points out.
"You're the most insufferable man I know."
"Honoured."
You finally glance at him. His tie is loose and he looks like he wants to be anywhere but here.
"Why are you out here?"
Your grip tightens on the railing. "Why are you?"
You know he sees it.
"You gonna actually answer," he says coolly, "or are we going to keep doing this?"
You exhale sharply, looking ahead. "DJ’s shit."
"It’s a live band."
"Then they should’ve hired a DJ."
His mouth twitches, but his eyes don't move off you.
"Try again."
"No," you say flatly.
He tilts his head at you, expression unreadable.
It makes you feel like your skin is on fire. Weddings are hard. Weddings with him around are even harder, for reasons you can't put words to.
A beat passed and he finally pushes himself away from the railing.
You're about to make some biting comment, when instead--
"Dance with me."
You blink. "Are you concussed?"
"Not recently."
You scoff, crossing your arms. "If this is some kind of sympathy thing-"
"Jesus," he mutters. "Yeah, I wanna pity dance with you, that's exactly what's happening here."
"Then what?"
He shrugs, "You think you're the only one who's angry?"
Your jaw tightens, teeth harsh against each other.
"We don’t have to talk," he mutters, like he's tired. Like things are hard for him too. "Just dance with me."
You stare at him, skeptical. He stares back, unbothered.
Instead, you grab his hand, passive-aggressive, like the universe owes you something for putting him in your life.
"Step on my feet, I break your kneecaps."
"For the record, I was a good fuckin' dancer."
"There is not one person left alive that can corroborate that," you scoff.
It's a joke, but you're acutely aware that maybe it's exactly why this is hard for him.
He pulls you in, a little stiff, like neither of you actually know how to do this anymore.
The music filters in from inside, something soft, but the two of you aren’t moving right to it.
He sways, slow and easy, like it makes all the sense in the world.
It pisses you off that somewhere, it starts feeling that was for you too.
"You're terrible at this," you mutter.
"So are you," he grumbles.
You scoff. "You said you were good at dancing."
"Yeah, well," he exhales, "people say a lot of shit."
You roll your eyes, but you don’t let go.
Neither does he.
The wind picks up. His palm presses a little firmer against your back. You don’t know what to do with that.
"You think you’re mad now," he mutters, "just wait ‘til I do this."
You frown, "What are you plann-"
You barely have time to react before his lips brush against your forehead.
It’s quick, warm, and a little unpracticed, like he thought about it too hard but did it anyway.
Your fingers tighten against his shirt. Not because you want to hold on. But because you don’t know what else to do with your hands when something shifts in your chest.
"Jes—"
"Shut up," he says, and it's the closest you've heard him come to pleading. "Five more minutes."
The words sit between you, heavy and unspoken.
You don’t know if he’s talking about the dance or something bigger.
Five more minutes.
Like you’re not running out of time. Like something in the world could belong to you, even if just for a little while.
You close your eyes. Breathe him in.
And five minutes stretch on longer than they usually do.
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hellsslibrary · 3 days ago
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Mean! Rin bullying reader for their bad performance + pet play, reader has a collar on
You are absolutely disgusting. And people like you deserve absolutely nothing. At least until men start getting pregnant (quotes from God knows where day 2).
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MASTERLIST is here.
#a.n. : This was FUCKING awesome to write. What can I say... I love my bottoms cunty, you know.
!!Warnings: sub!gn!reader(because 'their'), reader's genitals and gender not specified so you can be anyone, dom!Rin (obvi), pet play, sex toys, blowjob, hair pulling, leash, kind of dacryphilia in your direction idk, humiliation from Rin, orgasm denial about eight unspoken times, foot humping......
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"No. Don't you dare."
How many fucking times have you heard that come out of his mouth? How many times have you whined against his thigh when he stopped pressing his foot into where you needed it most? It was getting fucking unbearable every time he did it.
"R-rin... But it wasn't that bad, was it?" you ask with a slightly shaky voice and he just chuckles and grabs your hair, pushing his cock back down your throat, making you gag but obediently start swallowing it.
"It wasn't bad. It was horrible. And you need to learn your lesson about not doing that," Rin breathes out, looking at your pathetic face sucking on his cock and slightly tightens the leash on your neck, making you look up at him.
"Keep going, slut, maybe it'll get your brain back in place and make the rest of the grey matter work."
What the hell is he talking about? This is more likely to make you explode. Not only did he not let you cum, he didn't do it himself. And considering you've been sitting here for clearly more than half an hour, he clearly wants something from you, but what the hell? Besides the pleasure of you choking on tears and his cock, of course.
You carefully grab his hips, and when he doesn't show a negative reaction, you squeeze them, taking his cock all the way into your throat, trying to do it rhythmically, but it was obviously bad. Just disgusting. But you were enthusiastic, so it's forgivable, I guess.
"This isn't even half-baked. What the hell are you doing? Your melted brain doesn't even remember how to suck a dick?" Rin asks, pulling your leash incredibly hard, making you freeze with his cock in your throat, trying your best to breathe through your nose.
And then he pushes you away, making you gasp and look at him with half-open eyes, afraid of what else he might do, but he just raises his eyebrow and sits more comfortably on the edge of the bed.
You look at him confused, but then you look down at your underwear and well... You're just soaking wet. Not surprisingly, but still. Your cheeks flush and you whine as his foot presses there again, running up and down your crotch.
Your lips wrap around his cock again, causing him to gasp and grip the hair on your head. Your tongue slides along the length of it, tasting the salty pre-cum on its receptors. Your cheeks sink almost instinctively, adding to the stimulation, causing your own hips to move faster.
"Keep going. Make me come and I beg you," Itoshi whispers, seeming to take pity on you when he sees how disheveled you are. You sit back on your knees, sighing as his leg settles flat beneath you, allowing you to move as you please, rubbing your arousal against him.
Your hand reaches for his balls, twisting them between your fingers, eliciting a soft moan from Rin's lips. His hips buck, wanting to bury themselves even deeper into your mouth, and his back falls back onto the bed as he feels himself cumming in your mouth...
And you slowly pull away from his cock, realizing that you've been robbed of your orgasm. Again. You swallow some of his cum and spit the rest out, wiping your palm with a napkin and hovering over Rin.
"Are you okay?" you ask, running your hand down his cheek, and he slowly opens his eyes, looking at you and nodding after a few seconds, becoming aware of the world around him again.
"Yeah... Let's go shower," Rin replies, taking your collar off, letting it fall onto the bed with a loud thud, and then pushing you back and standing on the floor, looking at your disappointed face. "I'll finish you there, stop sulking."
Your eyes immediately brightened and you followed Rin, who was stroking his still slightly twitching thighs.
"You're acting like a dog," he whispers and rolls his eyes with a small smirk when he hears the fake and very exaggerated barking from you.
If I ever write a fanfic without something stupid, it won't be me, honestly.
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jasontoddsotherhalf · 1 day ago
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Hey guys, I gave it a try lol let me know what yall think!
Jason Todd isn't a cruel guy.
Not on purpose, anyways. He saw some shit as a kid, as any kid did growing up in Crime Alley. His parents were murdered when he was still very young and he'd been taken in by THE Batman. Regardless of what anyone says, beating criminals up every night of your tween years does affect one's physce. Getting beat with a crowbar and killed by Joker does worse.
But now Jason is back, and he's stronger, and he's smarter. Sure he's scarred up and violent, but he's finally his own soilder, his own dog. And Jason really does love helping people. Which is why along side running the biggest crime ring Gotham had seen in years, he also works for a Mental Health Helpline.
He didn't get many calls directed to him, but he did get one tonight as he sat in his shitty apartment in Gotham, tending to a wound on his leg a few days old. He answered the phone, putting it on speaker and laying it on the coffee table.
"Hello, Gotham Mental Health Hotline. How may I help you tonight?"
A deep voice comes from the other side of the phone, a voice that Jason had heard in his dreams for years, praising him, scolding him, reading him stories to help him get to bed, waking up from resting to go fight crime.
"I'm not at risk. I don't need help." Bruce Wayne says slowly.
Jason clears his throat, his eyes narrowing. Would Bruce know it was him. Would Bruce ever be able to recognize him at all?
"I understand." Jason answered. "Is there any way I can help?"
Bruce took a shakey breath. "I don't need...help. I just...I have some heavy regrets waying on me. Mistakes that I've carried with me, guilt that acts like a noose, tighter recently than it has been in years. My son...I messed up so badly with my son. I want to fulfill my promise to him. I want to make it all okay again for my boy."
Jason shivered. He's not talking about you, idiot. He tells himself. He doesn't care that you're dead. He never cared. He's talking about perfect Dick or clever Tim. Not better-off-dead Jason Fucking Todd.
Jason slowly went back to tending to the open wound, which had started bleeding from how hard he was unintentionally prodding at it. "Have you tried talking to him? I'm sure he'd understand." Jason said through gritted teeth. It wasn't him. Batman didn't need Jason, so Bruce certainly didn't either.
"I would tell him. If he ever showed up. God, I'd tell him anything and everything." Something screeched in the background on Bruce's end and Bruce swore softly. Jason pictured him suddenly speeding through Gotham streets, the Batmobile swerving dangerously, recklessly.
Jason didn't say anything, just waited for his father- for Bruce Wayne- to keep speaking. He continued, after a moment. "I only see him sometimes, when I dream. And he's in my arms again, young and bright and so full of life and potential." So he was talking about Dick. The first Robin who had grown up, fought with Batman, and left, never to return, not as he had been. Dick was Nightwing now, and led his own team, though he was still close with Bruce. Jason relaxed. This call was not about him. He could continue with his plans of vengeance without feeling guilty. I'm sure I'll laugh about this later.
"I'm sorry sir..." Jason trailed off awkwardly. Bruce spoke before Jason could say anything else.
"He's...he's dead." Jason froze. Everything went still. It seemed as though the cars outside all went skidding to a halt, the blood in Jason's veins went cold. The only sound was the old light above him flickering. Jason stuttered slightly as he quickly searched up both Nightwing and Robin on line, a dark part of him hoping one of them had died. But no, there were only two articles published within the last few hours and it was about a case Robin, Nightwing, and Batman had dismantled the previous night.
Jason swallowed. "I'm...so sorry, sir. Do you want to talk about him?" Jason wanted him to say no, needed Bruce to say no. For once he wanted Bruce to close off everything and everyone and retreat back to the dark corner of his mind where he told no one anything.
And there was a long silence between them, Jason was sure Bruce would hang up.
Batman would have. But Bruce didn't. "His name was Jason. And he was the most golden and beautiful boy on this planet. You would have never thought so from judt glancing at him once. His hair was flat and dark, And he was short and skinny and always had dirt on him somewhere. But it was in his eyes, and in his laugh. That's where his love was held. He cared so much. About everyone. He always wanted to help. He would always rush forward, even if it put him at risk. He didn't care about himself. He cared more about the wellbeing of others. He was so sweet and..." Bruce's voice cracked. "I just want my son back. My sweet boy." Jason didn't say anything. He felt his throat burn and his eyes blur. "I-i'm sorry sir. He sounds...amazing. I'm sure whatever it is you feel guilty over..." Jason took a deep breath. "I'm sure he forgives you." He lied. Partially lied. Jason didn't know anymore. One conversation where one participant didn't even know who the other was did not count as closure, and nothing was different. But it wasn't the same either. Bruce cared. All this time Jason had been looking for Batman to show the effect Jason's death had on him, when really it was Bruce he should have been looking at.
Bruce was quiet for a long long time. "I wish that was true, son. But I don't think so. Still, thank you for saying so. And thank you for listening. You're a good kid." Bruce didn't say anything else before hanging up. Jason sat in silence for a moment, frozen in time, feeling dizzy. Then he sprung up, his injured leg aching and dripping blood onto the floor, and he ran to the bathroom, falling in front of the toilet and throwing up anything he had eaten in the past 24 hours.
AU, where Jason returns to Gotham, but in between of his evil mastermind plans and managing the criminal empire, he starts working in this anonymous psychological hotline services.
And gets a call from Bruce-fucking-Wayne.
Well. It is not like Bruce announces that he is Bruce Wayne — it is anonymous, after all — but Jason knows his father's voice, alright?
'I don't need a physiological help,' his father tells him the minute he picks up the phone.
Jason... Snorts.
'Of course,' he nods, making his voice nicer. 'How can I help you?'
Bruce pauses, his breath hitching for a second; almost as if he recognized Jason's voice.
'My... my son thinks I need it, but I am fine,' Bruce insists. 'Still... I want to, well, fulfil a promise I gave... for once.'
Jason rolls his eyes, a familiar irritation flaring up in green flames before his eyes. He wonders who is this lucky son that gets to have such a diligent, responsible father - Dickhead? Tim? Damian?
'I see,' he breathes out, trying to follow a protocol of the calls. 'I am sure he will appreciate your loyalty. Will you tell him about it?'
'If he appears,' something screeches in the background, and if Jason closes his eyes, he can easily imagine Bruce leaning back on the armchair, in the Batcave. 'I... He only ever appears in my dreams, my boy.'
Jason freezes.
'Excuse me?'
'I... He is dead, my son.'
Had someone else died? Jason frowns, reaching for his phone, typing anxiously Nightwing and Robin in the search bar, trying to see if there is something serious happened; because he can't be talking about the second Robin, can he-
'I am sorry,' he blurts out, eyes drifting back to notes on the table, with some common phrases that can be used in this situation. 'I... Do you want to talk about, sir?'
Bruce is silent for a while. Jason thinks he is about to drop the call, but then, he sighs heavily on the line:
'His name was Jason. And he was the brightest boy.'
Jason mutes the microphone. He thinks he is going to vomit.
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laswells-ashtray · 2 days ago
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Soo uhm... autistic ghost if you do that? I mean that man is autism creature. And I love him. And need him being a silly little autistic guy. Like headcannons, and how it'd be in his relationships with people. Like romantic sexual or platonic? Please and thank you.
Ghost doesn't think he shows many symptoms of having autism because he's commonly told "I'd never have guessed", however, that's typically because the people telling him that haven't spent enough time with him to pick up on anything.
Eventually, the people he's closest to notice things but they never bring it up. Notable but not worth making him self-conscious about. That's what John calls it.
Simon doesn't like the texture of some of his clothes, he'll brush up against John and then automatically reach away to wipe his hand on his own t-shirt or his cargos. John stops wearing certain shirts around him, and sticks to the softer, worn fabrics that Simon doesn't mind touching when it's reasonable for him to do so.
He notices that his lieutenant stocks up on certain foods that he likes, always the same ones before they spontaneously switch up after almost a year and he doesn't tend to go back to them. He tries to keep whatever snack or drink it is in his office so that on the days that Simon wants to crawl out of his skin, he can offer the other man something and maybe somewhere quiet to sit in away from everyone else.
Gaz thinks for a while that maybe Ghost just doesn't like him, but that's alright, they're coworkers and they don't have to be friends. He doesn't seem to like Soap either. That's until he picks up on something, Soap and he can get loud after missions. The adrenaline is still pulsing through their system and they joke around, getting rowdy like two lads in the back of a classroom. Ghost tends to stay quiet, only speaking if spoken to and even then it's a faint mutter. He gets twitchy the louder Gaz and Soap get, his breathing becomes consciously slow and his eyes narrow until he's glaring daggers into whatever is opposite him.
Then it clicks, the man is overstimulated. Overstimulated and unwilling to say so despite his own blatant discomfort. And all it takes is keeping quiet after missions, the conversations between him and Soap become soft whispers and the stabbing tension in Ghost's shoulders lessens noticeably. It's after that, that Ghost starts talking to him more, friendlier and willing to joke around. Gaz knows they aren't exactly the closest of friends, Simon Riley is a puzzle he doesn't have the decades of solving like Price does but it's something and that's good enough.
John and Nikolai have to adapt certain aspects of their relationship when it opens up to include Simon, something that both of them are more than willing to do to ensure the comfort of everyone involved.
Simon is open to touch in varying ways. If he's the one to initiate contact then he could end up sandwiched between the captain and the pilot without complaint. He'll grumble and bat at them half-heartedly, all for show but all it takes is Nikolai kissing his cheek and John nuzzling his jaw to shut him up.
Some days a simple hand on his shoulder is too much, Simon will tense up and he won't say a word about it but they can hear how his breath hitches. Those days they won't touch him, if they sit down together on the couch tne he'll sit down on the tattered, ancient swivel chair by the window. Sometimes he'll brave sticking his legs out and poking John's thighs with his toes, other times he won't. It's up to him and they see no reason to push.
It can be a mix other days, a kiss on the cheek might be fine but when Nikolai plasters himself over Simon's back it's just too much at once. He'll retreat tactically and brush a thumb over his cheek instead.
Sex is different than they're used to but it's a welcome change. There's no more lying around and falling asleep disgusting, leaving it a mess to be dealt with the next day. They become adept at clean-up, and Simon prefers to shower after they're done. Sometimes he'll drag one of them in alongside him, other days he needs the moment alone. Make no mistake, Simon is usually the filthiest out of the three of them. he does things with this tongue that have left John's ears ringing and he can haul Nikolai around without thinking twice. But he needs time to decompress and he'll take it as a moment in the shower or a post-shower cigarette.
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theoi-crow · 3 days ago
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Thank you for all Zeus support posts ♥️ everywhere I go, all my mutuals too, they blast Zeus for being an abusive father. I know it’s because of the modern books and games that’s depicting Zeus this way. But the misinterpretation and mistreatment still get under my nerves.
When it comes to judging Zeus, I noticed ethnocentrism is the biggest problem.
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A lot of people judge the ancient world based on their own modern culture and what they fail to realize is that ethnocentrism is the same logic white settlers used against Native Americans. It's the same logic they used when they were kidnapping people from Africa to bring as slaves. It's the same logic used to justify destroying cultures and appropriating them. “We are helping the savages because they don't know any better.” This is the problem when judging a culture based solely on one's own culture. You kill the culture. You force it to follow your rules instead of studying it based on its own terms to better understand why it developed the way it did.
Zeus is a keystone part of the religion and I will always do my best to explain his importance.
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I will always do my best to discourage ethnocentric talking points when people try to put him down because they don't realize they are using the same logic colonizers used against my people and every POC culture in history. They don't realize they are essentially calling the ancient Greeks “savages” in the same way white settlers called the same POC people they were killing while stealing their land and resources.
Zeus is the main figure in the Ancient Hellenic religion.
Everyone else is a part of his court but as the king of the gods, his part in the religion is essential and a key component of it is Xenia, hospitality.
When you start to judge the ancient Greek culture based on its own rules you will see that Zeus is order, that's why the theogony starts with chaos, in order to show how Zeus turned chaos into order. When you start to judge the ancient culture based on its own rules you will see that people used Zeus to justify their ancestry so of course he will have human children because, as the king of the gods, the ancient Greeks believed Zeus appointed kings via birthright because monarchies are by birthright. (He can't have them solely with Hera or they will just be gods, he needs to have them with a human to create demigods).
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The idea behind him raping women stems from the misunderstanding of what was defined as rape in the ancient world. No matter the age or how willing they were, women back then were not able to consent because they were not in charge of their own lives. The consent needed to come from their fathers/husbands/whatever man was in charge, that's why it's often translated as rape, because there was no consent given by the men in charge because oftentimes they didn't know the child was a demigod until they were older and started showing signs of being different than other humans.
Just like how we have people who compete in the Olympics today, or people that are very talented or gifted, there were a lot of people back then who were also extraordinary humans and instead of thinking “wow, humans can be incredible,” the ancient Greeks believed an extraordinary human was the secret love child of a human and a god, depending on their specialty and which god that fell under, like Alexander the Great who was thought to be the son of Zeus, or Pythagoras (inventor of the Pythagorean theorem) who was thought to be the son of Apollo.
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It's okay to acknowledge ancient views were different from modern views and progress for women has changed over time because these are stories that are older than the literal Bible so of course progress will happen and the ancient and modern world will be very different. But it's never okay to judge an ancient culture using the same logic that was used to destroy cultures and enslave people.
I defend Zeus because I do my best to destroy ethnocentric views whenever they pop up.
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This is why research is so important and why I try to provide it as often as I can because once you start judging the culture based on its own laws and actual rules, you'll find that:
Zeus is incredible.
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poisonf0rest · 1 day ago
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genuine question because youre one of my favorite writers, you seem to really have a thorough grasp of the characters: what do you see in rafayel that makes him appealing? i try to get past his entitled brattiness because i really want to enjoy all of the guys, but i cant see anything else. please help me understand 🥲
Oh boy, baby, darling, sweetheart, you opened a can of worms. Come do a little bit of character analysis with me~
About Rafayel:
Rafayel is a brat, yes. But that means he wears his heart on his sleeve, outright when he needs your attention or sulking when something is bothering him or faking a dramatic accident to get your attention. There's no silent guessing or fake "I'm fine's," just his overdramatic, raw emotion that's easy to read. He's has anxious attachment stemming from hundreds of years of betrayal and loss.
Rafayel is a romantic, a yearner. And yes, while I also agree his attitude was annoying at first I am very unfortunately into people who get on my nerves, especially when they are flirty and funny as well. I folded during his hospital scene.
Entitled? He is a god. He has been trying and failing to save his entire civilization for over 800 years and still simply can't because he refuses to hurt the one he loves. While all the boys have been through pain there's something about Rafayel's story that really gets me. I think it’s because if I— as mc— knew the sacrifice he was making, I would give myself up. So to have someone selfish enough to place me first is heartbreaking, devoted, and cruel. 
Also there are plenty of scenes where Rafayel is serious, especially if you read between the lines. The brattiness and sass is a playful cover to someone who's been through pain and understands it. Someone who chooses to still see joy and happiness in his life while fully understanding how cruel the world is.
Simply, I'm a sucker for doomed character archetypes. There is no version of Rafayel's and mc's story where they both end happy. Millions of people will die or if mc kills herself Rafayel will live forever as a husk of his former self. Using a sassy, filirty, bratty attitude to cover up such a genuinely depressing story is so juicy to me.
About Me:
I'm a Zayne irl. Work is honestly the most important thing to me outside my family, I'm devoted to my hobbies and leadership positions, and I have a close circle of friends I would do anything for. I'm also fucking hilarious subjective.
I'm the eldest sibling, the guard dog, the de-facto leader for almost everything. I'm the person who had to grow up fast, to parent my immigrant parents at times, who never made space for love, and who is by default independant and comfortable with it.
I prefer to listen-- I love my yapper friends. Don't get me wrong I can talk for hours about anything, but day to day I tend to get exhausted talking after a while so I surround myself with people who can do the easy talking for me.
My irl partner is a mix between Rafayel and Sylus I'd say. He's the one who pulls me out of my work spirals by nagging me until I give in, someone I'm comfortable yapping about my current hyperfixations too, someone who my inner child can come out to. But I also enjoy being a caregiver, that's always been my role and I relish in it, I like being relied upon as much as I appreciate having someone in my life that lets me take a step back. The only part that's Sylus is how his love language is bullying me and his vibe/looks lmao, but usually I am more into raf-stereotypical pretty boys.
So, overall, the appeal of Rafayel to those that choose him:
Rafayel is for the eldest daughters who needs their inner child to be free, who needs a little bit of ridiculousness and impulsiveness in their lives.
Rafayel is for those who never got praised for their effort or strength, for those who success was the only option, who had to be perfect, reliable and serious all the time. He makes it so clear how much simply being with you means to him, constantly complimenting, flirting, and reassuring you just how much he needs you. Showing you how obsessed with you he is.
Rafayel is for those who didn't think love had a place in their lives due to shit family or life circumstances. He proves time and time again that you're the only one he loves. Even though he's lived forever, you were worth the wait and that he would wait again for you, no matter how long it takes. He proves you can be loved, and that it comes easy.
Rafayel is for those who always placed others first. He's more than willing to show you again and again you will always be first in his mind. He needs you more than he does water. Sure, you can take care of him, but he wants to be with you and take care of you, too.
Rafayel is for those who need someone else to drag them out of work/school/spiralling even when they don't want to admit it, bringing in laughter, color, and a little bit of dramatics.
Rafayel is for creators who dedicate themselves to their craft, who are scared of losing this "spark," who want to get better but constantly feel that what they create isn't enough or must be more. 
Rafayel is for hopeless romantics, those that go out of their way to surprise their friends during their birthdays, those who plan platonic dates for those they care about, those who put out so much love into the world and suddenly break when they get that love back.
Rafayel is for those used to having little siblings or those to take care of in our lives. Only while Rafayel relishes in the attention, he's also ready to give it back five-fold.
Rafayel is a switch for switch (brat for brat) lmao. He's for those who like to start on top, teasing and pushing his buttons to get all those cute reactions out of him, just until he breaks. Then he can take control and finish us up. We love vocal men.
Maybe projecting, but Rafayel is the perfect bi-girl's boyfriend. He's a classic pretty boy, unafraid to be in touch with his feminine side, a little dramatic, a little artsy. But he's also super romantic, sensitive, loving, and intense. And gosh, who could say no to those big puppy eyes?
I could probably continue to talk about Rafayel for hours, but ya, hopefully this helps answer why I and others love this man. Just continue on with the main story and read between the lines with his dialogue and I'm sure you'll pick up on it too~
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