#I call my redesigns 'butcherings' for a reason.

[otiksimr]

This is by far the most unfaithful 'redesign' I've done so far. But that being said, I don't call myself a butcher for no reason.

I don't enjoy how TNR brings back dragons from the original series, as it's set far, far into the future the fact that those species still exist and are practically unchanged is well, weird to me. The fact that NIGHTLIGHTS still exist is also extremely odd to me, as they are a hybrid species they should be long gone due to the fact that Nightfuries have been long extinct (Toothless is an outlier).

This redesign is mainly just me having fun tbh. That's what most of my redesigns are. it's less what the og could've done better and more what I would find more interesting as a concept. There's quite a few tidal class dragons in the HTTYD franchise, yet there's not really any that are a 'main rider dragon.' This is one part appreciating Tidal class dragons and one part an ode to the book series.

[breath-of-void]

Free Thoughts on the Newest Book of my Favourite Series

I'm concerned for Percy.

Percebeth used to be super cute and the ultimate goal of any fictional relationship... but now, in Chalice of the Gods, I'm worried that Percy has put far too much stock in Annabeth and hasn't really thought out his own life. In fact, there is a long running trend in the series- that I'm not entirely sure Riordan meant to include- that Percy cannot think more than a few days ahead and it's genuinely concerning. I'm going to separate this into Things I Find Concerning and Things I Would Have Liked (not Rick's crimes, just things I would have been interested in seeing) and then, finally, Things I Liked.

Things I Found Concerning

Percy does not like school and yet is excited to go to New Rome University with Annabeth. Annabeth enjoys academics and she has a clear path for her life, she wants to be an architect and redesign the planet or whatever. Percy, on the other hand, does not really have any interests. Nothing school can help him with anyway. He likes swimming, skateboarding, his mom and Annabeth. That's about it. It was sweet a few books ago when his only goal was to be with her, but he is 17 now (older if you consider all the shit he's gone through) and he has not quite considered that he's going to have to do something other than dote on her. Because he doesn't even cook! He lives rent-free with his mom and just talks about how much better Annabeth is at things than he is.

In the vision he has of his future and when he is old, there is him, Grover and Annabeth in a garden by the beach. This bothers me for two reasons: there's no mention of anything else that he has going on, just that he's with Annabeth; and where's Juniper!? For the first point, Percy doesn't mention a job that he would have liked having or other things that he would have had going on like a skateboard repair business in the garage or something. It's just him. In a garden. With Annabeth. That's his future and that irksome. And for the second point, Grover has been dating Juniper for 2-3 years by this point, longer than Percy has been dating Annabeth actually, but she does not appear in his daydream of their future. She's mentioned in the book, she and Grover are still dating and still on good terms (and she's functionally immortal) but Grover doesn't get to have her in the future? Third wheel for life.

I don't like that the gods call him "Percy Jackson" now instead of Perseus.

Was a time when the gods called him by his full name which was just unfamiliar and formal that it spoke to how alien and removed they were from him and his world. It's not a crime that they don't do that anymore, but it feels too local now.

And I get that Riordan wants to keep him street-level for these adventures, but Percy feels very nerfed in this book. Like, I'd scale him to very minor god in base (on the level of maybe the Triumvirate), but he gets tired so easily and laments about all the things he can't kill when he very easily could. The biggest example I have is in the field of snakes, he goes on about how he wouldn't be able to butcher ALL of them when, I personally feel that at this stage in his career, he very easily could have. And he already had a reason not to, Iris had specifically forbidden it so there was no need to have his say that he was unable when he was already not allowed. I think Percy should keep being a force of nature, no exception to the rule that Poseidon only sires monsters, but find clever ways to keep him from doing that.

The world has also started to feel much safer than it initially was. I remember Percy's first words to us were that being a demigods gets you killed in brutal ways and that most did not live to adulthood. But Percy just casually goes to and from school with no sense of urgency. No monsters attempt to try their luck at killing the great Percy Jackson or even try to get at his mom or Paul while he's not home. And I've considered that maybe his reputation precedes him, they recognize his scent and aren't willing to risk it, but, as I've noted above, no one really fears Percy in this book. He feels weaker. And it's one thing for the gods to disregard him, but you have minor river gods ready to throw hands and the aforementioned snakes who were fully ready to swallow the son of Poseidon. I'm not saying I need everything gritty and grimdark, but our initial premise was that children would regularly get torn apart by stray harpies and hellhounds, but in this book, no one is even a little concerned about this. Even someone like Paul who should know how very fragile his very existence is: the sky is barely being held up by a being who really doesn't want to be doing it; the Earth itself is a genocidal primordial goddess who is merely lulled to sleep by the whispers of a teenage girl. But the status quo must be maintained.

Riptide has a child lock!

There are parts of this book that made me remember why I fell in love with the series. The humor is pretty decent in places, like Percy reminiscing how a bolt of lightning on a clear day took out his kite or the aforementioned handicap that Iris put on his quest, she had forgotten about it overnight.

I could also appreciate his trying to philosophize a bit with the nature of immortality and addressing Percy's decision to not become a god, but I did not like that he made the life of a minor god tragic. Now, instead of Percy rejecting the glitz and the glamour for hard work and aging, it's framed that he made the objective right choice as Zeus would likely have him doing grunt work for eternity. Ganymede is always miserable and fearing for his life; I would have liked if he was simply dethatched from reality, only wanting his cup because it was all he knew not that he would be killed if he lost it.

My likes were fewer than my concerns.

In conclusion, the things that made Percy cool at 12 are making him sad at 17.

His singleminded drive to only be with Annabeth feels like it will breed resentment down the road. Annabeth states in no uncertain terms that she loves him and is serious about him, but I can't imagine that lasts long when she's working and homemaking because Percy has one skill and he doesn't even like doing it.

I genuinely think that Rick should let his world be tragic because with the knowledge of all Percy has been through, parts of the book feel like the narrative is fighting the characters. Percy has anger issues (being stated to throw a skateboard through his wall when he was frustrated or break plumbing when anxious), he's traumatized (though he uses the slightly outdated term "shell shock") by having his body rearranged on a whim and coming close to death a fairly regular basis, but the writing wants to keep him grounded and relatable. Percy isn't relatable anymore, he shouldn't be!

He's been through 2 world wars, held up the sky, went to actual hell, indirectly prevented Ragnarok and directly saved the Egyptian pantheon. He has come in contact with, fought and been possessed by more deities than anyone else in his verse will ever know exists. He's watched friends die time and time again and he knows how fickle the will of the gods are. There is actually nothing stopping them from killing him and everyone he loves at a moment's notice. Even swearing on the River Styx cannot keep them accountable. The Sun has shown up on his doorstep begging for help, he nearly killed the concept of Pain, he handed Time the knife to kill itself and his best friend is the incarnation of the Wild. Percy is built different, but he doesn't do anything with that.

I genuinely think that a proper "end" to his story would be Dionysus being freed from his curse, Chiron being promoted to head of camp and Percy being made activities director. That way he's helping newer generations of demigods survive the nonsense that is the world they live in. If he absolutely MUST be with Annabeth at all times, he could do that at Camp Jupiter while she's at NRU.

[thenecropolix]

Since I don't know if I'll ever draw it, these are my notes for a TT Raven redesign:

Having studied a little bit of asian religions in college, the teachings of the monks of Azarath strike me as very Buddhist in nature; iconic as the cloak and leotard are, if I had to change her costume, I'd use some variation of the robes worn by Buddhist monks

That being said, if I kept the hood, I'd make it so that you cannot see Raven's face at all save for her eyes

For a unique twist on that last point, I've considered the thought of Raven donning a Japanese Kabuki Mask to hide her face, specifically one with the Nihon Guma style of makeup (which is representative of the strong silent type of hero); as opposed to a regular person donning an oni/hannya mask, it makes for a fun subversion where we have a demon trying to hide their demonic nature behind a heroic and human mask

This brings me to my next point on Raven's face: as a sucker for monster designs, I'd crank up the inhuman look for Raven, starting off with 2 tusks protruding from the upper jaw, along with either 4 eyes in reference to her dad, or 3 in reference to onis (the third one being forcibly closed by her gem in an ironic twist to the bindi)

On the one hand, it would make sense to base Raven's looks off of the Indian Rakshasa cause of the implied cultural ties... and yet Trigon's design to me has such offbrand Japanese Oni vibes that I feel like if I rewrote her backstory, I'd make it so that Trigon was actually an Oni who's name was an American butchering of his actual name

That being said, the specifics of Raven having 2 tusks is a nod to the Japanese Otoroshi, a yokai that despite it looks is known for its role as a guardian, often depicted on temple gates and only attacking those with wicked souls

Gotta give her a hooked nose to mimic a birds beak (she's called Raven for a reason hahahaha)

Once again as a nod to Japanese folklore, I'd play up the "red oni, blue oni" theme where Raven could have a more blueish skintone to indicate her inhuman heritage (and to contrast Trigon's red)

[goldlightwriting]

My Lore vs Riot's Lore

It's no secret that Riot Games, specifically the corporate entities at the top, have been horrible about the handling of their own IP and fictional universe. Since the Great Retcon that happened nearly a decade ago, myself and other creatives in the League community have taken it upon ourselves to do what they seemingly refuse to.

TBSkyen, Nickyboi and other such creators have put to voice our issues perfectly: that for a company as massively successful as Riot Games, it is difficult to fathom how and why they cannot do in the course of ten years what independent, passionate fans can do in their spare time. I have gone out of my why to create new backstories for characters that have no place in the current lore out of spite. Artists have redesigned Champions whose visuals are woefully behind. And to top it all off, Riot clearly has no consistent vision for where they even want to take things.

Right now they're allegedly trying to make sure the game universe fits with Arcane: something that fundamentally does not and cannot work due to the variety of discrepancies between both properties. They discontinued Riot Forge because they weren't able to instantly dominate the indie market with like four games (big surprise) and actively butcher existing characters and lore for the sake of selling skins.

And that's what it ultimately boils down to. The higher-ups do not care about the world of Runeterra, at least not as much as the Esports scene and the shills who will spend ungodly amounts of money on cosmetics. They leave characters and storylines to rot for years on end unless they're marketable or profitable enough to bother with. Even then, it feels like they can never truly stay consistent.

Perhaps this arrogant of me to say, but as far as I'm concerned, the world of Runeterra belongs to us: the fans who are dedicated enough to remain passionate about a world Riot has no interest in. This is by no means a knock against the artists and writers that Riot employs... But the corporate entity holding this world hostage has, in my opinion, no real right to call themselves the owners of these stories and characters that they intentionally leave neglected and abandoned.

Ever since the Rise of the Sentinels event, I have been forging my OWN canon out of a mix of passion and spite. I know not everyone agrees with all the changes I've made, and that's fine. As far as I'm concerned, those people are more than free to develop their own versions of the lore. The point is that, as things stand, I genuinely don't know if Riot's version is ever truly going to be complete. Even then, there are aspects of the existing canon that I just don't like for some reason or another.

Below is what I call the Gold Continuity: a summary of my alterations to the League mythos or headcanons that I've created to fill in the gaps that Riot left behind. So, without further ado...

Regions and Plotpoints

Yordles

-Yordles have indefinite lifespans, but they are NOT immortal. They can be killed and harmed.

-Yordles survive by adapting to their surroundings. A yordle who spends enough time among other races will eventually come to mimic their behaviors.

-Yordles are not cryptids, nor do they have glamour, but they are rarer in some regions than others.

Vastaya

-Vastaya are chimeric beings that resulted in humans mingling with an ancient race of shapeshifters called the Vastaya-Sharei. They are not immortal, nor can they shapeshift (except for the Oovikat), but they do have slightly longer lifespans than humans.

The Shadow Isles

-The Ruination happened because League's equivalent of Pandora's Box (which would later become Thresh's lantern) was opened and unleashed centuries' worth of evil energy to corrupt the Isles.

-The Black Mist is the accumulation of negativity in a person's soul, while the Hallowed Mist is positivity.

-Relicstone, AKA Lightstone, can be used to harness the positivity or negativity in a person's soul. It emits a golden yellow or ghastly green glow depending on the emotion fueling it.

-The Sentinels of Light were originally an order that used Lightstone weapons to combat malevolent spirits and criminals on the Blessed Isles. Members of this order fled with a supply of Lightstone in tow and remade themselves into an organization devoted to fighting the Black Mist.

-The Ruination did not happen all at once; rather, it took several hours for the Black Mist to completely corrupt the Isles. This allowed some Sentinels time to trap Viego in the vaults of Helia.

-The Harrowing is a period of time in which Viego's seal weakens and his power is able to freely extend across Runeterra.

The Darkin

-The Darkin are ancient, demonic weapons of unknown origin that corrupt the minds and bodies of their wielders.

-The Darkin harbor a deep hatred towards the Celestial gods of Targon for unknown reasons.

-Aatrox, the strongest of the Darkin, aims to lead his kin in a war that will destroy Targon.

Targon

-The Celestial gods of Targon are, in fact, powerful cosmic spirits that have become the embodiment of mortal beliefs regarding the workings of the universe.

-Targon once boasted a polytheistic religion that worshiped and respected all the Aspects. However, sects and cults devoted to individual gods rose up over time, dividing Targon's people.

-Aspects bond with mortal vessels to better enact their wills upon Runeterra, offering power and extended life in exchange for servitude. An Aspect can, however, completely overtake their mortal host and transform them if the host's will isn't strong enough.

-The death of an Aspect doesn't necessarily cause the destruction of celestial bodies, but it does have an impact on Runeterra itself; if an Aspect is killed, then its corresponding stars or moons will no longer be visible to the people of Runeterra.

-Aurelion Sol was once revered by a cult of dragon-worshipers on Mount Targon. They offered him praise and gifts whenever he deigned to descend upon their home. The god of war, Pantheon, saw the potential in Aurelion Sol as a weapon and enacted a scheme to enslave him. Aurelion's followers were tricked into forging a giant crown that bound him to Pantheon's will. Thus, the war god could call on the Star Forger as a weapon whenever he pleased.

-The Solari and Lunari once fought together to defend Runeterra from the Void. However, when the Lunari began to meddle with Void powers in an attempt to better understand this, they were deemed heretics. Though the reasons why have been lost, many sun-worshipers still regard the cult of the moon as heresy.

Shurima

-The Ascended waged war on each other after the empire's fall because of the power vacuum that Xerath created. This resulted in a period known as the Godly War.

-The entirety of the Ascended Host (save for Nasus and Renekton) died during Twilight of the Gods.

Characters

Twitch

Twitch was a rat captured and experimented on by human scientists. He was injected with an experimental drug meant to bolster his physical and mental abilities. After a time, the mutated rat escaped confinement and fled to the sewers. There, he began to build his own personal kingdom amidst the filth and refuge, ambushing anyone foolish enough to enter his territory without permission. Twitch hopes to one day overthrow the surface dwellers and claim revenge on them.

Kog'Maw

Kog'Maw is a doomsday weapon created by the Void. He builds energy within himself by consuming things, and releases that energy in a violent explosion when his body takes severe damage. Kog'Maw's purpose is to build enough energy that he can one day tear apart reality itself in a violent explosion, creating an opening for the Void to invade Runeterra once more.

Shaco

Shaco is a Demon of Delirium, who drives people mad with his twisted games. He appears before the sad and depressed to lure them in with his playful antics, only to leave them surrounded by bodies and covered in blood. Those who fall under Shaco's spell are completely unaware of the atrocities they commit until the Demon Jester has left their side.

Corki

Corki is the leader of a the Screaming Yipsnakes, who defend Bandle City from airborn threats. He pilots a special flying machine that he co-developed with Professor Heimerdinger in Piltover. Corki has grown a touch senile in recent years, but remains as skilled and devoted to his cause as ever.

Shyvana

Shyvana is the last descendant of an ancient tribe of dragon-worshipers from the Kumungu Jungle. Long ago, this tribe made offerings to element dragons in exchange for their blood; by consuming dragon blood, these people were able to become half-dragons. However, the dragon Yvva saw this as an affront, and single-handedly brought an end to the entire tribe... Or so she thought. Shyvana alone survived the onslaught and spent years wandering the world. Eventually, she arrived in Demacia, where she would unite with Prince Jarvan IV to bring an end to her tribe's killer.

Akshan

Akshan is a Shuriman rogue devoted to his own personal brand of justice. He steals from and even sometimes assassinates scoundrels who misuse their wealth and power while fighting for those of less-fortunate means. Some even say he carries an ancient relic capable of draining and restoring life essence, sacrificing one soul to resurrect another...

Zyra

Zyra is an ancient Ixtali witch possessed by a deadly carnivorous plant. The Zyr flowers once threatened to consume all of Kumungu, but their spread was halted by the mages of Ixaocan. A lone sorceress thought it wrong to exterminate an entire species, however, and saved a single Zyr sapling. That sapling, however, would go on to infect her and create the being now known as Zyra. Zyra now seeks to resume her plan of conquering the jungle and spreading her seeds to all living things, more dangerous than ever with a human intellect to bolster her wicked intent.

Thresh

Thresh was once a monk of the Blessed Isles, charged with safeguarding a lantern filled with the evils of humanity. Thresh began to grow resentful of this duty and the order, and extended exposure to the lantern began to corrupt his mind. Thresh longed to release the evils of the lantern, but was unable to as it could never be opened by those with impure intent. When Viego arrived, Thresh saw his opportunity and manipulated the king into opening the lantern, convincing the king that its power could revive Isolde.

Vex

Vex was a yordle serving in the Brotherhood of Dusk on the Blessed Isles. She was once a cheerful, upbeat spirit who excelled in soothing the souls of the departed. However, when the Ruination came, the evils of the lantern inverted her cheerful demeanor into one of nihilism and despair. Vex now seeks to spread gloom and misery wherever she goes, though her shadow reflects the once-kind soul that she still harbors deep inside her...

Viego

Viego was the king of Camavor, though he was never intended to inherit the throne. He spent much of his time and attention doting on his beloved wife, and fell to madness after her demise. He went to the Blessed Isles, birthplace of his Blade of Kings, in the hopes of finding a way to resurrect her. There, he was promised the power to do so by Thresh; all Viego needed to do was take the power stored within an ancient lantern. Viego became a vessel for the Black Mist, which snuffed out the last of the genuine good in his heart and turned him into the Ruined King.

Kalista

Kalista was once a royal guard of Camavor whose father was slain by insurgents in her youth. For this reason, Kalista grew up with a deep-seated hatred for traitors and rebels of all kinds. She believed that loyalty to the crown was absolute, even as Viego's actions slowly drove the country to ruin. Only when he ordered his soldiers to kill the monks of the Blessed Isles did Kalista realized that Viego himself had betrayed his country did she choose to stand against him and all his supporters. When the Black Mist swept over the Isles, Kalista was transformed in her dying moments, becoming a mindless agent of vengeance whose obsession with punishing betrayers has consumed her completely...

Vladimir

Viego's uncle and a formerly influential politician in Camavor. Vladimir sought to gain his nephew's favor by uncovering the secrets of blood magic so that he might resurrect Isolde; to that end, he traveled across the sea to the land of Noxus. There, he became exceedingly proficient in the art of hemomancy... Enough to be invited into the Black Rose. Upon learning of his homeland's fall to ruin, Vladimir accepted the offer and has spent centuries keeping himself young and influential through mastery of his craft.

Elise

Elise is the head of House Kythera: one of the oldest and most influential noble houses in Noxus. Unbeknownst to most, House Kythera reveres an archaic deity from the Noxii Tribes of old: the spider god, Vilemaw. In exchange for human sacrifices, descendants of House Kythera are granted power and lasting life by their deity. Elise has forged an alias with the Black Rose to ensure a steady supply of offerings for her deity, in exchange for using her power and influence to aid the Pale Lady...

Syndra

Syndra is the living antithesis of Karma, though she had, at one point, been the spirit's vessel. Syndra was chosen by Karma at an early age, and immediately took to the power she was granted by Ionia's ancient protector. In fact, her latent magical potential made her the most powerful incarnation of Karma anyone had ever seen. Though the monks of the Lasting Altar tried to teach her restraint, Syndra ignored them all, believing herself to be destined for greater things. Syndra's obsession for power ultimately led the monks to try and extract Karma by force, but rather than removing Syndra's magic entirely, it merely took on a dark and twisted form. Syndra was sealed deep below the Lasting Altar for decades, but now she is free and seeks to reclaim that which was taken from her.

Jarvan IV

The heir to Demacia's throne, Prince Jarvan IV was a prodigy warrior and seemed well-suited to the role of kingship. His skill and pride, however, led him to one day make the most foolish decision of his life. When world a powerful fire dragon ravaging the Demacian countryside reached his ears, Jarvan led a battalion of soldiers against the beast despite his father's orders not to do so. The result was the tragic death of every soldier under Jarvan's command, and his own shameful retreat into the forest. Jarvan would have died from his injuries were it not for Shyvana, who found him and eventually aided him in defeating the fire dragon Yvva for good.

Warwick

A vastayan warrior captured during the Noxian Invasion of Ionia. Though initially set to be brought back to Noxus for sport, the mad scientist Singed arranged for him to be brought to Zaun instead, as payment for the Mad Chemist's assistance in the war. There, Warwick was experimented on as Singed tried to uncover the chimeric properties of the vastaya, even forcibly augmenting his new experiment in a variety of ways. Eventually, though, Warwick managed to escape the lab. Though his mind has been broken by Singed's cruel experiments, a semblance of nobility still remains within Warwick, even as he prowls the undercity for prey...

Lillia

Lillia is dream spirit who once traveled the spirit realm to ward off nightmares. Despite her shy and timid nature, Lillia is quite effective in her task, keeping night terrors at bay with her mystical bough. After an encounter with a particularly fierce nightmare long ago, Lillia was forced to enter a state of dormancy for many years... But now, as dark dreams have begun to spread throughout Runeterra once again, Lillia has awakened to resume her duties and bring peaceful slumber to the mortals of the world.

Cassiopeia

Cassiopeia was transformed into a Baccai by Xerath when she released him from the tomb. Though she initially viewed this as a curse, Cassiopeia soon took to the myriad of powers she gained from the Magus's 'gift.' She now works alongside the Black Rose in Noxus to maintain a foothold in Bel'Zhun, keeping an eye on the Ascended on behalf of her new patron.

---

And that's everything for now. This is Runeterra as I imagine it, completely unfettered by any requirements or existing canon. I may go back and add to this in the future, but for now I think that's plenty to chew on.

[kiraraneko]

CATS as reviewed by a furry

Apparently this is a movie review blog now lmao (listen I just have some Opinions™ I feel like writing down lately) You’ve already heard from a hundred sources about the terrible CGI and bad quality of the film overall, so I’m going to focus more on the characters themselves and how they’ve been translated from stage to film. As someone whose been a fan of CATS since childhood AND is active in the furry community, I hope this will be different from the other reviews. (YES THERE ARE SPOILERS)

Let’s just start this off by saying - everyone who keeps comparing this film to “furry porn” clearly is not familiar with furry porn, because the alleged “hornyness” of the actor portrayals is pretty in-line with the stage play. The only reason this movie comes off as so much more sexual is because the bad fur CGI doesn’t keep your brain from knowing these people are all basically nude. The stage play costumes feature fur tufts and limb wraps that work to somewhat hide the human silhouettes, whereas (even with some characters in coats and accessories) everyone’s fur in the movie is so skin-tight they end up being unmistakably human, so every sway and hip-thrust comes off as slightly disturbing in an uncanny way instead of feline and graceful.

Victoria the White Cat Now here’s where I’ll admit to my blatant bias - Victoria has always been my favorite cat (other than Rum Tum). Here’s a bit of trivia for you: Ever wonder why my fursona is a white cat? (Jumpcut to me as an 8 year old wearing a scarf around my waist, pretending to be Victoria). Her role in the play is small but she’s elegant, beautiful, and an incredibly talented dancer, and I always idolized her for that. So, you can imagine I was pretty delighted to find that she plays the role of “main character” in the film. Now in the play, the cats explain to the audience about who and what they are, with Munkustrap (the grey tabby) serving as a kind of narrator/translator and leader. Since you can’t exactly address a stage audience in a movie, Victoria fills that role of the “questioning onlooker”, which I feel fits her character very well considering she’s both a younger/newer cat to the Jellicle scene and she was the first to accept Grizabella, which connects her nicely to the entire story (both in the play and the movie). What I was markedly less jazzed about was the addition of her own song in the movie. I think it was a nice attempt to expand her role, but as an extension to Memories, I found Beautiful Ghosts to be frankly kind of boring and unnecessary. She’s essentially saying to Grizabella “I was just abandoned and I don’t have anything, at least you have good memories to look back on” which to me, came off as belittling to Grizabella with a dash of “poor me” for Victoria. However, the reprise version with Old Deuteronomy I actually ended up liking much more. It is less condescending when two old cats are singing to one another, versus a kitten who has their whole life ahead of them lecturing Grizabella about a past she knows nothing about. One last thing I’ll note about Victoria is her slight re-design in the movie - she’s been given some light striping patterning as opposed to being a pure white cat. This doesn’t bother me at all as I assume when it comes to lighting and rendering, pure white fur would have been too distracting on screen. Jennyanydots / The Gumbie Cat I’ll just come right out and say that this segment was probably the worst translation from the play in the entire movie, and it happens early in the film, so you’re already questioning what the hell the rest of the movie is going to be like. In the play, she’s a slow-paced and motherly type cat that only becomes energetic at night, when she sheds her fur to reveal a vibrant coat and goes to work teaching vermin of the house good manners and skills like crocheting (as opposed to hunting them, like other cats would do). In the movie, she’s flitting about the kitchen like a hyperactive rabbit, rampantly consumes some of the insects she’s painstakingly coached, and whines about wishing to leave her household. If this butchering of her character weren’t enough, they actually included the fur-shedding bit in an incredibly disturbing skin-unzipping sequence where she steps out of her cat skin to reveal a sparkly dress underneath. Characters in the CATS play occasionally do wear some clothing accessories, but this movie does not know the meaning of subtlety, and various characters are wearing fullbody clothes which even further breaks any illusion of these characters being cats. It just constantly wants to remind you that these are human people in unitards jumping around on a greenscreen. Rum Tum Tugger Undoubtedly a fan favorite, Rum Tum is the rockstar cat who swoons all the kittens and makes a general ruckus, with stylistic influences of Mick Jagger and Elvis. To say the least, I thought his part in the movie was fine, but certainly doesn’t quite have the punch to it that the stage play does. The movie has him breaking into a 50′s style diner while milk is liberally poured for all the younger cats. Both his character and that of the Gumbie cat’s are diminished further as she makes fun of his singing and dance moves - which may have been a funny addition, if it weren’t for her alleging his show-offiishness to a recent neutering. This joke just went a little too far in my opinion, and really detracted from the rest of Rum Tum’s performance. Bustopher Jones A very charming and gentlemanly cat, Bustopher’s sequence started well and then just got really weird. His song prominently describes his love of fine dining, his cheerful demeanor, and his well-groomed fur. The last of which was directly contradicted in the movie, as he rolled around in actual garbage making an utter mess of himself. He’s shown gorging himself through the entire segment with increasing fervor, until it’s just a bit too much to bear witness to. At one point, he’s meant to trapeze into a trash can, but the cat who jumps on the other end of the catapult is markedly smaller, and nothing happens. This is actually quite a funny moment, until once again, the joke goes a little too far and Bustopher comments being “sensitive about his weight”. This is just.. a bizarre comment considering he’s sung an entire song about being charmingly large and we’ve just watched him unabashedly stuff his face for five solid minutes. Applying human weight-shaming to the ideals of a cat is just completely unnecessary, awkward, and contradictory to his character. It changes him from an indulgent but experienced chap into something to be pitied. Asparagus / Gus the Theatre Cat Possibly my favorite segment of the movie, this is the only part I actually teared up at. As a child, I always thought Gus was a very boring character with a boring part, but watching as an adult I can understand and appreciate him much better. Sir Ian McKellen did an absolutely phenomenal job of channeling the frail, endearing, proud character of Gus (despite the wonky camera work of the scene). This might be the only part of the movie that matched, or perhaps even exceeded the stage play version, and I don’t think it’s any surprise that it also happens to be the most subdued sequence, relying almost entirely on character acting and line delivery, instead of fancy effects cluttering up the screen (as this musical should be). The end of his storytelling features some “lightning strikes” for emphasis, created by what I imagine would be a simple shadow stencil, and it added some genuine atmosphere to the idea of Gus as a performer with simple stage effects. It was a nice subtle touch, and I only wish the rest of the movie could have been more like that. I found his line condemning “modern productions” to be more poignant than ever before, and it makes you wonder if this movie suddenly became painfully self-aware.  Also I just want to throw this in: Before Gus’s song, there’s an unintentionally hilarious shot of Mr. Mistoffelees walking up on him drinking milk from a dish, except Gus is mostly in shadow with his cat features obscured and is standing fully upright, so he just appears to be a hobo man lapping at a dish, like someone legit just walked up on Ian McKellen being a complete fucking weirdo.  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer This segment was another one that just didn’t come across quite right. These two are mischievous partners in crime, causing mayhem and stealing treasures. The '98 film version characterizes them as playful and upbeat, delighting in trouble-making, but they don’t seem to be quite experienced or clever enough to get away 100% of the time. The 2019 version came off as almost.. sinister to me. They coerce Victoria into stealing, frame her, and then leave her to what could nearly be her death, all while sort of talking through their lines with a cold inflection. This is supposed to take after the original “languid” London version, but they don’t play off each other very well and you don’t get a sense of the fun, amusing partnership they’re supposed to have. It’s mostly just watching them destroy several rooms of a house and then leaving Victoria to her fate like utter assholes. I don’t really have anything more to say on these two, it was just kind of bland and forgetful and leaves you disliking them instead of enjoying watching them have a fun romp. Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat I would give Skimbleshanks the award for “most baffling redesign”. As mentioned earlier, this movie takes cats-wearing-clothing to an uncanny level, and this is certainly the uncanny-est. While the play version has him in a cute waistcoat and arm warmers with elbow patches to give a “train conductor” vibe, the movie has him in full bright red overalls, with other reviews calling him “gay nightclub Mario”, lmao! As much as I wanted to enjoy this number, the sight of him was just too weird to look past.  The tap dancing during his skit was a fitting addition to his character - he is quite bouncy and light on his feet, so I thought it suited him very well and really liked that part. His song picks up after that, with all the cats dancing on the rail and there’s more weird camera work, at one point zooming out so ridiculously far it’s actually jarring. The rest of his song was okay, a CGI greenscreen that can do anything you want unfortunately just isn’t as creative and inspiring as watching actors build a train engine representation out of junkyard scraps on an actual stage.  Magical Mr. Mistoffelees The movie really took some liberties with this character, and I’m still on the fence about whether it was a good choice or not. In the play, Mistoffelees is a magician cat, performing tricks through his segment (including the most complex dance routine of any character) while other cats usually sing about his feats (in the ‘98 film, it’s Rum Tum). They went for the younger, unsure version of Mistoffelees in this new movie, and doubled up on it by turning him into something of a comedic-relief character. He doesn’t quite have a handle on his magic, and he trips up on his words and his feet several times through the movie. This would have been fine if his musical number hadn’t been such a let down. This is supposed to be his grand moment, but his “magic” ends up being underwhelming and the chorus repeats for SO long you’re practically begging for it to end. Where “Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?” was once a cheerful and upbeat line, it will certainly become a droning echo in your mind after watching this movie. The added plot of his implied attraction to Victoria I also found kind of weird, though I’ll admit that might just be my personal tastes. I always liked Mistoffelees being a more aloof kind of cat.  Grizabella / The Glamour Cat Alright buckle in, I’ve got some strong opinions about this one. Grizabella is undeniably the star of CATS - she’s an incredibly emotional character, visually intriguing, and her performance in the musical is nothing short of heartbreaking. She was referred to as “the Glamour Cat” in her prime, but it has turned into an almost mocking title as the other cats reject and shun her. We never really know why, but it can be implied she may have been cold and elitist to the other cats who once adored her, or had some other tragic and sudden fall from grace. Despite Jennifer Hudson putting in a damn good effort to play the role of this character, the movie itself let her down. The CATS play and the Jellicle ball which it centers around, while being a musical, is foremost a ball in which cats perform for the honor of being chosen. The dancing is just as important as the singing, and Grizabella’s character is heavily communicated by her posture. She’s hunched, stiff and limping, reaching out for others to accept her, and at one point even attempts to mimic some of the other cat’s dance moves before slinking away in shame. The 2019 movie paradoxically chooses to use extremely tight face-shots for just about every character routine. It is frustrating and claustrophobic to watch a movie where cats who are supposed to be expressing their character through movement are shown from only the shoulders up, just standing there singing into a camera - and this frustration is paramount at the Grizabella sequences.  Jennifer Hudson, singing her absolute heart out with tears pouring down her face, is still emotionally lacking because of the terrible cinematography refusing to show her doing any actual acting. I was so distracted by the mucus running down her face that I couldn’t even connect with her. I thought the costuming of Grizabella was very well done, but you barely got to see any of it. Overall a very disappointing performance, because Hudson was doing all the right things, and it could have been great if the movie had met her even halfway. Macavity the Mystery Cat Played by the incredible Idris Elba, Macavity underwent some heavy changes and expansion in this new movie. He’s the main antagonist of the play, and most of his antics like committing serious crimes and alluding the police are sung about as rumors but doesn’t himself sing, and actually doesn’t have any speaking lines in the play, adding to his mysterious character. When he eventually appears, he battles with Munkustrap and steals Deuteronomy (who is brought back by Mistoffelees). Macavity is usually depicted with vibrant clashing colors, wild hair, and uses quick threatening movements, while the Idris Elba version rein-visioned him as extremely sleek, black-furred, and sly and cunning, often emerging from the shadows to tempt other cats with their vices. He is given numerous speaking lines, and his villainy is expanded on as he kidnaps the other cats in an attempt to be the chosen Jellicle. I actually quite like this interpretation of the character, and it makes him a little more relatable instead of the vicious enigma he is in the play.  Something of note is just how literally the new movie took the rumors of Macavity’s powers. His abilities, which were muted and used sparingly in the play, were used constantly and without hesitation in this movie. He spends most of his time teleporting other characters and creating illusions, but then uses trickery to try and win the Jellicle ball, and fails to demonstrate his power of levitation when it really matters. So whether he does or doesn’t have real powers seems to be.. situational to say the least. Another thing I want to point out is just how uncomfortably sudden Macavity’s reveal is. He spends most of the movie in the shadows hidden under an oversized coat and hat, and then suddenly appears at the Jellicle ball without any disguise on whatsoever. Idris Elba is a damn fine looking dude, and you can clearly see his very human-shaped abs beneath his sleek Macavity fur, which is so close to his actual skintone that I’ve seen him described as “extra naked” and it’s pretty accurate. You just really aren’t prepared for this moment when it happens. Growltiger This guy is a rough and rowdy pirate-esque character with a dramatic love life. His segment was cut from the ‘98 film, so seeing the play in person is just about the only way to experience it. Because of this, it’s probable that many people may not even be aware of this character, so I was pretty excited to hear that he would be featured in the 2019 movie. Growltiger is quite overdue for his time in the mainstream spotlight. Turns out, unfortunately, Growltiger's Last Stand is not what you get. His appearance in the movie is more or less a cameo with a short introduction, and the rest of the time he’s serving as Macavity‘s henchman in the background. This is based on the 2015 revival of him as a dock worker, but I feel it was a weak representation of his character, and really wish he’d been shown in a better light. The movie cuts out pretty much every fight scene, and Growltiger‘s would have been dramatic and fun to watch, especially after Gus’s reminiscing. Instead, he was kind of lazily thrown into a river by Gus, who previously bragged about playing the role of Growltiger on stage, which is kind of an interesting juxtaposition if you don’t think about it too hard. Old Deuteronomy A surprising change was the decision to make Deuteronomy female, played by Judi Dench. I love old grandpa Deuteronomy, but this didn’t really bother me. Deuteronomy is a wise, beloved leader of the Jellicles and there’s not really anything integral about the character that says they couldn’t be female. Deuteronomy carries himself with dignity, but isn’t afraid to dance along with the songs of the other more lively cats, and Judi Dench certainly has an air of authority and respect about her. The character’s songs are reflective and thought-provoking, but once again, the 2019 movie fails to make any of these sequences actually entertaining. The absolute worst part of the entire movie comes at the very end, when Deuteronomy makes horrific, unblinking eye contact with the camera, and slowly talks her way through the Ad-Dressing of Cats. This is absolutely bewildering considering how the movie deliberately sets up Victoria as a main character in place of the audience, only to completely chuck that out the window of a moving car just to break the 4th wall in the most uncomfortable way possible and directly address the audience anyway. What is even the point? I can’t imagine there’s a single person that would watch that and be okay with it. The Ad-Dressing of Cats is supposed to be a cute, fun little recap of everything the cats supposedly taught you, but this movie made it feel like a lecturing stare-down. Other notes The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles was cut entirely from the movie, which is fine because it isn’t integral to the story or anything, considering it was also cut from the stage play when I saw it live. I kind of shudder to think of how The Great Rumpus Cat would have been interpreted in this movie, so I think we were all probably spared some indignities.  While this movie was watchable and certainly an interesting take on the play, it creatively added very little and only succeeded in making me desperately want to go watch the ‘98 musical. I thought at least this movie would be a fun soundtrack to view, but many of the songs just didn’t have the punchiness, joy, charm, or energy that I’m used to. There were parts of it that I liked enough to say this isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but that’s not exactly a glowing review. From the perspective of a theatre fan and a furry: If I want to see CATS, I’m most certainly going to choose the filmed musical over this new movie any day.  I’m infinitely more charmed by the graceful 80′s style dancers of the play than I am by the uncanny valley, painfully human cat-people of the new movie (and honestly I haven’t seen a single piece of fanart for it, so that really tells you all you need to know).

[prorevenge]

So at the beginning of the year, I had to switch jobs because of a move. In a bit of a bind, I accepted a job at a small mom-and-pop style deli. (I’d been offered it during the interview, which was a big red flag, but needed cash, so I said yes.)

This deli was a butcher shop/meat counter combination.

It didn’t seem so bad at first - though I’ll never forget my now-girlfriend sitting me down on the first day and saying the owner, let’s call him Peter, wouldn’t like me because I’m female.

The weeks start rolling by, and I’m noticing a pattern of various problems:

1) we’re not getting enough breaks for the time worked

2) everyone ends up getting 2-5 hours of overtime a week

3) there are healthcode and OSHA violations everywhere

4) we’re horribly understaffed - we could have had double the number of workers and still struggle to keep up with everything

Well, still in a bind, I bite my tongue and deal with it, but am frantically still looking for a new job.

I start dating my coworker, and Peter loses his shit because we’re gay. The only reason he didn’t fire us was because he couldn’t afford to lose two full-time workers.

To give you an idea of the conditions:

I sliced my finger open on a deli slicer and they wrapped it up and told me to go back to work, despite the blood filling my glove.

Eyewash station was removed after it fell apart when someone went to use it

Safety equipment was non-existent, loud noises constantly going in the back, non-slip floors were a joke, regularly lifting 60-100 pounds on a rickety step ladder without help, having to climb over 5 gallon buckets to get to things in the freezer etc. etc.

I was sexually harassed by a customer and was blamed for it, told if I couldn’t deal with it I wasn’t cut out for customer service…

It was like something out of a story, it was so comically over-the-top.

Well, I finally land a new job and high-tail it the fuck out of there, leaving my girlfriend (who would leave a couple months later, don’t worry) behind.

I go home, print off a form, and spend several hours filling it in, and then drop it in the mail to OSHA.

My girlfriend got to see the reactions. They spent several thousand dollars trying to avoid the fines by picking up safety equipment and redesigning the way some things worked, still were fined several thousand more dollars.

They had their pastry case catch fire overnight at one point after this, narrowly missing burning the building down, but doing quite a bit of damage to their multi-hundred thousand dollar display.

And then, at some point after we’d both left, the health department came calling.

Apparently, Peter got yelled at in front of customers by the inspectors. The place nearly got shut down then and there due to some of the gross violations.

Last I heard, the health department was doing monthly checks and the few crew members left were quietly pointing out problems that otherwise would have been overlooked, causing them more issues.

They’re also struggling to keep anyone there, working with even fewer crew members than when I was there.

Sweet, sweet revenge.

(submit your pro revenge story) (story by lydiaroguepersonal)

[therandombanjo]

Songs From 2019 (one per artist)

Another mixed bag of stuff i either enjoyed a lot, thought was excellent or interesting (regardless of taste… sort of), emerging artists to maybe look out for, and generally music that for whatever reason connected with me in some way, including the odd earworm i just couldn’t shake. Some artists are left off just to vary a little more from some other popular lists. Hope you enjoy some of this too and find something new to be taken by. Please do buy their music if you can and hopefully from a local independent record store if possible to support their work. There’s a spotify playlist (below) for easier listening but I’ve also posted a few links to extra things on some of them if you want to check them out.  Spotify:

(As ever…. as i don’t tumblr or blog or anything (besides this list), this won’t be seen by many (if any?) people so if you like it or think it’s of any worth in any way, please do share this along)

In Alphabetical order:

A.A. Bondy - Killers 3 Abdallah Oumbadougou - Thingalene Alasdair Roberts - Common Clay Alex Rex - Latest Regret Andy Shauf - Try Again Angel Bat Dawid - We Are Starzz Angel Olsen - All Mirrors        bonus. her collab with Mark Ronson “True Blue” Anne Müller - Solo? Repeat! Antoinette Konan - Kokoloko Tani Arthur Russell - Words Of Love Asmâa Hamzaoui and Bnat Timbouktou - Sandia Baby Rose - All To Myself BCI - Grateful Bedouine - When You’re Gone Benny The Butcher - Crowns For Kings      ft. Black Thought Ben Walker - Afon Better Oblivion Community Center - Chesapeake Beverly Glenn-Copeland - A Little Talk     (from a reissue of her 2004 record Primal Prayer) Bibio - Curls The Big Moon - It’s Easy Then Big Thief - a. Not    b. Cattails    (from 2 excellent albums released in the same year: “U.F.O.F” and “Two Hands”) Bill Callahan - a. What Comes After Certainty    b. The Ballad Of The Hulk Bill Fay - Filled With Wonder Once Again Bill Orcutt - Odds Against Tomorrow billy woods - a. Spongebob w/ Kenny Segal     b. Western Education Is Forbidden    ft. Fielded        (From 2 excellent records this year: “Hiding Places” with Kenny Segal, and “Terror Management”) Black Country, New Road - Sunglasses Blu & Oh No - The Lost Angels Anthem    ft. Kezia Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast For Thee Bonny Light Horseman - Bonny Light Horseman      (”supergroup” of the great Anaïs Mitchell, Eric D Johnson & Josh Kaufman) Brent Cobb & Jade Bird - Feet Off The Ground Brighde Chaimbeul -  O Chiadain an Lo Brigyn - Oer Brittany Howard - Stay High    (the video for this, with Terry Crews, is a delight) Bruce Hornsby - Voyager One    ft. yMusic Burd Ellen - Sweet Lemany Caoimhín Ó Raghallaigh and Thomas Bartlett - Kestrel Caribou - You and I Caroline Polachek - Door Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Caterina Barbieri - Arrows Of Time Clairo - Bags Cochemea - Mitote comfort - Not Passing The Cool Greenhouse - Cardboard Man    (a pretty hilarious song about David Cameron) CRAC - You Can’t Turn Your Back On Me    (Unreleased old track from ‘76) Cross Record - PYSOL My Castle CZ Wang and Neo Image - Just Off Wave Damon Locks / Black Monument Ensemble - a. Rebuild a Nation   b. Power Daniel Norgren - The Flow Danny Brown - Dirty Laundry Daphni - Sizzling    ft. Paradise Daughter Of Swords - Fellows      (Mountain Man member Alexandra Sauser-Monnig’s 1st solo record) Dave - Psycho David Kilgour - Smoke You Right Out Of Here David Thomas Broughton - Ambiguity     (from the 15th anniversary reissue of his remarkable debut album, The Complete Guide To Insufficiency) Denzel Curry - RICKY Destroyer - Crimson Tide Dry Cleaning - Dog Proposal Dubi Dolczek - Do The Gloop Durand Jones & The Indications - Long Way Home Ela Orleans - The Season      (From 2012 but on a career retrospective, Movies For Ears, put out this year) Elkhorn - Song Of The Son Emile Mosseri - a. The Last Black Man In San Francisco b. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)    ft. Mike Marshall         (both from the wonderful score for the wonderful film The Last Black Man In San Francisco, the latter a cover of an old song sung here by the guy who sang “I Got 5 On It”!!) Erland Cooper - Haar Ernest Hood - Saturday Morning Doze        (from a re-issue of his “self-released proto-ambient masterpiece” in ‘75) Fat White Family - Feet Faye Webster - Room Temperature Fennesz - In My Room Fernando Falcão -  As 7 Filhas Da Rainha Sumaia     (reissue from ‘87) FKA twigs - cellophane Florist - Shadow Bloom Flowdan - Welcome To London Fontaines D.C. - Roy’s Tune Four Tet / KH - Only Human French Vanilla - All The Time Gang Starr - Family and Loyalty   ft. J. Cole Georgia - About Work The Dancefloor Girl Band - Shoulderblades The Good Ones - Will You Be My Protector?   (of Rwanda) Grand Veymont - Les Rapides Bleus       (of France) Gyedu-Blay Ambolley - Sunkwa     (of Ghana) Hailaker - Not Much HAIM - Summer GIrl Hana Vu - Actress Hand Habits - placeholder Hannah Cohen - Get In Line The Harlem Gospel Travellers - If You Can’t Make It Through A Storm Hayden Thorpe - Diviner     (Former Wild Beasts frontman’s debut solo record) Helado Negro - Running The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Hiss Golden Messenger - I Need A Teacher Holly Herndon - Frontier Homeboy Sandman - Far Out Hoops - They Say Hotel Neon & Blurstem - Language Of Loss House and Land - Rainbow ‘Mid Life’s Willows Ibibio Sound Machine - Wanna Come Down IDER - Saddest Generation The Innocence Mission - On Your Side International Teachers Of Pop - I Stole Yer Plimsoles    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) Jacken Elswyth - The Banks Of Green Williow Jaimie Branch - nuevo roquero estéreo Jake Xerxes Fussell - The River St. Johns Jamila Woods - ZORA Jayda G - Leave Room 2 Breathe Jenny Hval - Ashes To Ashes       Jenny Lewis - Red Bull and Hennessy Jesca Hoop - Outside of Eden     ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) and Jesca’s 12 year-old nephew Justis. This live performance is so sweet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPmE_hU7Ss Jessica Pratt - As The World Turns Joanna Sternberg - This Is Not Who I Want To Be Joan Shelley - Cycle John Blek - North Star Lady Jordan Rakei - Say Something        bonus. under his DJ pseudonym: Dan Kye - Focus Jo Schornikow - Incomplete Joseph Shabason - West of Heaven Julianna Barwick - evening Junius Paul - Baker’s Dozen Kali Malone - Spectacle Of Ritual Kate Teague - Sweetheart Kate Tempest - a. Firesmoke    b. People’s Faces Kelly Moran - Halogen (Una Corda)       (from a record full of all the bare piano parts she played for her prior record before all the editing and processing) Kim Gordon - Air BnB Kindness - Hard To Believe     ft. Jazmine Sullivan KOKOKO! - Buka Dansa     (Congolese collective upcycling discarded materials to make their instruments) Konradsen - Baby Hallelujah     (of Norway) Lambchop - Everything For You Laura Cannell - a. Sing As The Crow Flies     b. Flaxen Fields Laura Stevenson - Lay Back, Arms Out Le Groupe Obscur -  Planète Ténèbres Leonard Cohen - Happens To The Heart Leo Svirsky - River Without Banks Little Simz - 101 FM Lizzo - Tempo   ft. Missy Elliot Loren Conors & Daniel Carter - Departing Lou Roy - Bite Low Chord - Walkk Lower Dens - Galapagos Mahalia - What You Did    ft. Ella Mai Majja - Black James Dean Maria Somerville - This Way Maria Usbeck - Amor Anciano Mary Halvorson & John Dieterich - Vega’s Array      (Mary the recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Grant this year, because she is) Mary Lattimore & Mac McCaughan - IV Matana Roberts - As Far As The Eye Can See Meitei - Ike Melanie Charles - Trill Suite, No. 1 (Daydreaming/Skylark) The Menzingers - Anna Messiahs Of Glory - No Other Love      (from a collection of rare black gospel from the Midwest between ‘65-’78 put out on Tompkins Square) Mica Levi - a. Hosting     b. Lobo y Lady (from the excellent Colombian film Monos) Michael Abels - a. I Got 5 On It (Tethered Mix)    b. Pas De Deux (both from the terrific score to the excellent Jordan Peele film, Us) Michael Kiwanuka - Living In Denial Michael Nau - Poor Condition Mike Adams At His Honest Weight - Wonderful To Love Minor Pieces - Rothko      (duo of Ian William Craig & newcomer Missy Donaldson) Modern Nature - Footsteps Molly Sarlé - Twisted      (Mountain Man member’s 1st solo record) Moodymann - I’ll Provide Moon Duo - Stars Are The Light Moor Mother - After Images Moses Boyd - Stranger Than Fiction Moses Sumney - Polly Mount Eerie & Julie Doiron - Love Without Possession MSYLMA - Inqirad (Rihab-U Dhakir)     (Saudi Arabia) The Murder Capital - Don’t Cling To Life Nardeydey - Freefalling The National - Rylan   ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) The New Pornographers - Falling Down The Stairs Of Your Smile Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - a. Waiting For You   b. Bright Horses   c. Night Raid Nivhek - After Its Own Death: Side A    (Liz Harris of Grouper) Noname - Song 32 Octo Octa - Move Your Body ODD OKODDO - Auma      (Kenyan/German duo) Øyvind Torvund - Starry Night      (Norwegian composer) Pet Shop Boys - Burning The Heather Petter Eldh - Fanfarum for Komarum II Porridge Radio - Give/Take PREGOBLIN - Combustion Purple Mountains - a. Snow Is Falling In Manhattan    b. All My Happiness Is Gone   c. That’s Just The Way That I Feel Quelle Chris - Obamacare Quinie - Whas At The Windy Rapsody - Ibtihaj   ft. D’Angelo & GZA Reb Fountain - Faster Rian Treanor - ATAXIA_A1 Richard Dawson - Two Halves Robert Stillman - All Are Welcome Róisín Murphy - Incapable Rosalía - Milionària Rosenau & Sanborn - Saturday Rozi Plain - Symmetrical Ruth Garbus - Strash Sam Lee - The Moon Shines Bright   ft. Elizabeth Fraser (of Cocteau Twins) Sam Wilkes - Run Sandro Perri - Soft Landing SAULT - Smile and Go Seabuckthorn - To Which The Rest Were Dreamt serpentwithfeet - Receipts    ft. Ty Dolla $ign Sessa - Flor do Real         (of Brazil) Sheer Mag - Hardly To Blame Shit and Shine - No No No No Sinead O Brien - A Thing You Call Joy Siobhan Wilson - Plastic Grave Six Organs Of Admittance - Two Forms Moving Sleaford Mods - Kebab Spider Slow Meadow - Artificial Algorithm Snowy - EFFED    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) SOAK - Knock Me Off My Feet Solange - Binz Sophie Crawford - A Miner’s Life Squid - Houseplants         bonus. Their cover of Robert Wyatt’s  “PIgs..... In There at End of the Road Festival) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DktZtQbo-YU Stella Donnelly - Old Man SUSS - Ursa Major Swamp Dogg - Sleeping Without You Is A Dragg   ft. Justin Vernon & Jenny Lewis Tami T - Birthday  Tenesha The Wordsmith - Why White Folks Can’t Call Me Nigga Theon Cross - Activate     ft. Moses Boyd & Nubya Garcia Thom Yorke - Dawn Chorus Tierra Whack - Wasteland Tim Hecker - That World Tiny Leaves - Respair Toya Delazy - Funani         (of South Africa) Twain - Death (Or S.F.?) Twin Peaks - Dance Through It Tyler Childers - All Your’n Vagabon - Water Me Down Vampire Weekend - This Life Vanishing Twin - Magicians Success Velvet Negroni - Confetti Vendredi Sur Mer - Chewing-Gum      (of France) Victoria Monét - Ass Like That Vieo Abiungo - Cobble Together Visible Cloaks - Stratum      ft. Yoshio Ojima & Satsuki Shibano Warmduscher - Midnight Dipper Weyes Blood - Andromeda Wilco - Love Is Everywhere (Beware) William Tyler - Our Lady Of The Desert Willie Scott & The Birmingham Spirituals - Keep Your Faith To The Sky     (from a collection of obscure 70′s era gospel on Luaka Bop, “The Time For Peace Is Now - Gospel Music About Us”) Xylouris White - Tree Song Ye Vagabonds - The Foggy Dew Zsela - Noise

[dulwichdiverter]

Smokin’ hot

BY HELEN GRAVES

Anyone who knows Peckham will be familiar with the eye-catching boxes of scotch bonnet chillies sold by every grocer on Rye Lane and the high street. An essential ingredient in many West African and Caribbean dishes, they’re sold by the handful and adored for their fruity fragrance and addictive but not-to-be-messed-with heat.

Ben Farey – a local hot sauce producer based just down the road in East Dulwich, near Peckham Rye – began his own love affair with them after moving to south London 20 years ago.

“I moved to Brixton in 2000 and just became intoxicated by the food that was available; produce like the Ghanaian land snails, huge green avocados and these fantastic, burning hot chillies,” he explains.

It wasn’t until more recently however that he began to see an opportunity to create a new sauce – one that was more to his taste than those already on the market.

“A few years ago I was given a book on fermenting by Sandor Katz and although I’ve always been interested in fermentation, I began to think it was time that I did something about that interest,” he says. “A lot of people don’t really understand fermentation very well but it’s an incredible process.”

Currently very much in vogue, the use of fermentation to produce food and drink dates back thousands of years. Microorganisms like yeast and bacteria present in the environment around us are harnessed to break down substances, resulting in wonderful products we’ve come to know and love such as beer, kimchi, yoghurt and in Ben’s case – chilli sauce.

“I’ve always been in love with anything spicy and hot,” he says, “and I’ve always had a bottle of Encona [a widely available brand] in the cupboard for emergencies.

“The hot sauces that are out there, I find a bit thick and sweet sometimes and I just love the tang you get from fermented sauces, which is really quite appealing. I decided I’d make something that would epitomise my life in London.”

Ben began to ferment the scotch bonnets for two to three months at a time. “After that they are put through a mill to extract the seeds, then vinegar gets added and the whole thing gets churned for a number of weeks,” he says.

Churned? Like butter? “Yeah, I built myself a mixing device,which churns the sauce constantly for weeks at a time. It means the sauce is totally natural and you don’t need any artificial stabilisers as the vinegar breaks down the chilli and the sauce doesn’t separate in the bottle. So it’s just salt, cider vinegar and chillies.”

Ben also adds another important flavour profile to the hot sauce however, which is smoke: “The fermented chillies are scotch bonnets but we also add some smoked chillies, which are jalapeños. I built a smoker from two old filing cabinets I found locally and I started smoking butter and eggs.”

His backyard antics didn’t last long before he ran into problems though. “The neighbours started to complain a bit about the smoke,” he says, which meant moving his proto-production site elsewhere. “I shipped one of the filing cabinets to my dad’s house where people are less likely to complain.”

Unlike many hot sauce start-ups, Ben is only making one product, rather than a range of sauces with different heat levels and flavours added. “I’ve just been trying to improve upon this one sauce and now I’m really happy with it,” he explains.

He’s right to be pleased with himself. The sauce really does stand out with its searing heat and complexity of flavour. And what does he suggest we eat it with? “I absolutely love it on eggs – shakshuka, anything like that. I also particularly like it on shellfish, but also steak, pasta… anything to be honest with you.”

The sauce costs £3.50 for a 100ml bottle, and is available to buy on the website and in a few shops. His current sauce – called Batch 2 – is stocked locally at William Rose butchers on Lordship Lane.

“We’re going to carry on expanding from here, really,” Ben says. “We’re just about to start approaching new stockists. If you’re going to put something in a shop then you need to get your nutritional label sorted out, so we’ve had our label redesigned.

“The guy who does our branding is called James Ingram and he’s done a lot for local companies [including Brockley Brewery]. So that’s the next step really, to see which other local stockists might be interested.”

It’s been a journey of trial and error to get to this point, Ben says. “I started three years ago, and it’s been quite a long process because you’ve got to find the right bits of kit, you have to test things out.”

This means it’s taken him a while to start spreading the word. “I did a hot sauce festival in April down in Peckham, called Hot Sauce Society and our Batch One sauce sold out.

“Now we’re selling out of Batch Two but we are taking it pretty slowly, for various reasons. I’ve just had a new baby too, so it hasn’t moved as fast as perhaps it could’ve done!

“We’re probably making around 500 bottles a month but we could go a bit bigger. I’ve just taken on a bit of extra space in the arches in Loughborough Junction. Chilli sauce and small children don’t really mix very well and when you’re smoking chillies and fermenting and trying to bottle stuff it’s an absolute nightmare to have children around.

“I think we could increase production quite dramatically without too much difficulty but we’ll see. I’m just happy to make a sauce that’s well received locally and it has been. People seem to really like it.”

Photo by Paul Stafford

[deliriousabsol]

More Things Than You Ever Cared To Know About My Writing

This was originally posted by ‘vorchagirl’, reblogged by someone I follow. And I thought it would be fun to just outright answer these in a questionnaire type way, rather than as asks. So here we go =)

Feel free to do this yourselves if you like it. Just please remember to add the original poster.

Fanfiction Questions

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Properly? Probably Pokemon. I’ve been writing fanfiction for it for years.

2. What is your latest fandom?

Funnily enough, Sonic, despite being a fan since I was like seven years old. I’ve just never seriously got into it since then until now.

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

The Pokemon fandom. I’ve made some awesome friends in it.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

You hear things, but I’ve not really come across any toxicity besides the reaction to the Sonic Movie.

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

A good few, but the only ones you’ll find are Pokemon, Sonic and Zootopia.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Zootopia - Judy/Nick

Sonic - Shadow/Rouge, Silver/Blaze

Pokemon - I don’t usually ship in Pokemon, but Jessie/James because reasons

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Sonic/Amy. Sorry. Some art is cute, but it’s not my jam.

Shadow/Maria. I don’t ship animals with humans.

I also don’t ship yaoi/yuri pairings.

I do not poop on any ship. If it’s one I’m not fond of, I just scroll on and leave it be. Shipping can be pretty toxic sometimes, and I just don’t get it at all.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

I was writing Mask Behind the Monster and my husband’s aunt suggested I join a specific Sonic forum to post it in. So I joined the Amino and posted it, all nervous. The reception blew me away, and I met some awesome people, so I stuck around.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

The friends I’ve made.

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Probably. Can’t think of any off the top of my head.

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Shadow/Rouge. Also Infinite/Amy. This is because of my current writing projects.

12. Who is your current OT3?

None.

13. Any NoTPs?

We’ve been over this *looks up*

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Sonic/Tails =3

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Infinite/Amy. I didn’t initially.  But if it’s done right, and there are reasons for them to be together in that setting, then it works. 

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Sonic/Shadow, Infinite/Gadget

I’m also not a fan of most Pokemon anime ships.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Knuckles/Amy. I still have a soft spot for it.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

Amy/Espio. I went through a phase... Read a couple of ‘fics and thought ‘Why not? Sounds like fun.’ XD

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Not really. As much as I like shipping, because I’m a fluff-junkie, I have to just like it.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Again. Inf/Amy. This one took me by surprise.

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Erm... if I remember right, Some cringy self-insert Pokemon ‘fic when I was like 14/15.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Everything I regret writing has been deleted.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

The End and Mask Behind the Monster. I can’t choose one over the other. They were both written with a lot of meaning and emotion behind them, and I have a soft spot for both.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

I keep thinking about re-writing The End, but I worry it will lose its fire if I do...

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I think... THINK... it’s Mask Behind the Monster.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

To Title is hard. System:Reboot was a suggestion off a friend who I have lost touch with. Its working title is ‘Hacked’. A lot of my stories have preliminary working titles until I come up with something. The End was named after a song. Confectionary Conundrum was originally called ‘Sugar Snow’ which is the name of the sweet shop in that story. The Mainframe Saga’s Scrivener file is still called ‘Datastream’. Its separate books have been renamed as I’ve been ‘planning’ them out (as much as I plan).

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Probably summaries, because FFNet leaves very little space to do so.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I have actually had fanart, so this is hard to say. A lot of people like drawing my cyberpunk Infinite redesign which has surprised me.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

My husband proof-reads my stuff, and then I question him on it. I don’t have a beta. I’ve thought about it, but I stick to a strict time-frame when it comes to uploads where I strictly give myself very little leniency. So if it wasn’t beta’d in time, I’d get a little frustrated and I do not like to pester people. I also worry I’ll be told to edit and cut a LOT, and I don’t like to butcher my ‘fics. I do that enough while I’m writing 8D

30. What inspires you to write?

My faith. That is a BIG one. You will find references and metaphors to my faith throughout my stories. Particularly in The End and The Mask Behind the Monster. Music is another huge inspiration drive. I’ve come up with entire scenes and even plots or sub-plots listening to music. I was just on a walk listening to some cyberpunk tracks when I got the spark for The Mainframe Saga.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Oh boy. Where do I start? I think I was especially moved when someone told me they read The Mask Behind the Monster to their sisters.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Yes. A lot. I listen to a variety of stuff from Christian rock and EDM to cyberpunk instrumental tracks. Main bands are Thousand Foot Krutch, Family Force Five, Cruxshadows, Holon, Misanthropix, Scandroid and Celldweller.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

It really varies. I lean towards epics. Even Glitched ended up being longer than planned, if memory serves, although it’s not epic length. The Mainframe Saga is made up of chaptered ‘fics, ficlets and one-shots.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

I couldn’t tell you, because Scrivener crashes when I try to get the word count for System:Reboot XD

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I don’t, but I have thought about it.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Sci-Fi. Hands down.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

I prefer third person, particularly restricted third person, because it is easier to write about different characters. That way the reader knows what’s going on when the main cast do not. I was very surprised I enjoyed writing first person so much in Mask Behind the Monster, though. But I did leap into third person a couple of times to give a wider perspective.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I love creating OCs. But I will use canon characters in the Sonic fandom.

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer?

From what I’ve been told, character development.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Violence. And tragic back stories. I have legit questioned my sanity when coming up with scenes that include this.

Also... when I write fluff... I kind of grind to a halt and struggle through it. Often interspersed with gazing from the window and thinking well further ahead than where I’m currently at. This often results in forgetting dialogue I think up during my garden gazing.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I won’t post links because it is much too fiddly. But Guiding Light by Ambyssin, Heart Song by Suetonicsonic, Fall From Power by Lordius Dannius.

Hands of Creation by Namohysip, and The Curious and the Shiny by Nebula Dreams. Both of which I seriously need to pick up again.

I believe you can find all of them on FFNet.

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Same applies as above. Ambyssin, Suetonicsonic, Namohysip, Chibi Pika and Nebula Dreams.

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Ambyssin has provided some amazing constructive criticism on System:Reboot which has resulted in me making a terrifying antagonist out of Gadget the Wolf. I strongly hope no other antagonists will develop what I have nicknamed ‘Socket Syndrome’. His drive and commitment to his writing has been pretty inspirational, too.

But in all fairness, I think most, if not all, of my writing friends have been inspirational and very supportive. I offer digital high-fives to each and every one of you.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I can’t think of any. People should write what they like. And I believe if you want to read it, and it doesn’t exist, then you should write it yourself if you can.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Guiding Light by Ambyssin. It’s not often I fall in love with a fanfic.

Fall From Power by Lordius Dannius is another.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

The End or The Mask Behind the Monster, because they’re pretty special to me.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

FFNet. I’ve been posting there for years. I’m iffy on AO3. I’ve considered posting to Tumblr, but my solution to that is to post links and artwork instead.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

If I feel I have something to say, I’ll post a review. I like to make sure I do so, though, and I have been known to make notes on my computer and post reviews in bulk to works posted on Serebii.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I love comments, and I will try to respond to each one. Reblogs are totally welcome!

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I’ve been writing for many, many years. Since before I was ten years old. Pokemon likely got me into fanfiction. I can’t remember writing it for anything else prior to that cringy ‘fic I mentioned earlier (which we will never, ever talk about. Ever.)

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I love the creativity behind it, especially OCs. Pokemon OCs are my favourites, particularly in PMD or Pokecentric settings. Both Sonic and Pokemon offer a lot of inspiration to create OCs as the worlds are both pretty vast. AUs and canon settings both offer massive scope for creativity. It’s seeing peoples’ headcanons and takes on the franchises that I really enjoy. Yes, I do like shipping, but a story does NOT need it to be a good story. It’s the way people tell it that matters more to me.

I know this says ‘one thing’. But I just want to make it clear, the one part of fanfiction I don’t like, is M-rated stuff. And I will not read it. It... bugs me when a ‘fic I’ve been enjoying suddenly changes its rating XD

(I do not own any of the fandoms or characters mentioned in this post) <- Nervous Nelly moment?

[bixbythemartian]

home grade pizza cutters suck.

I'm not joking, they are so terrible, I've used expensive fancy ass ones and cheap ones and they universally are fucking garbage. Also impossible to clean properly, they get gross very quickly. they're a waste of money and drawer space.

Most people don't cook pizza at home often enough for it to be worth getting a separate one, anyway.

if you want a nicely sliced 'looks professional' pizza made at home, use a heavy knife, like a butcher knife. press down firmly and evenly then lift it up and move it and press down again. don't drag it through the pizza, you'll just drag the cheese and toppings around. even downward pressure and a sharp blade are the way to go, is my point. think more like 'cookie cutter' if that helps.

I keep trying to get my work to convert to the pizza bat'leth and have had no luck. A knife is a reasonable substitute, if you use it properly. a little slower, but still decent.

My ideal pizza slicer is the pizza bat'leth.

(they're called pizza rocker knives and they are badass and super fast and I will always call them a pizza bat'leth because they look like someone redesigned the bat'leth for use on pizza. most of the objection is that you need a little more space to use these and there's a bit of a learning curve to using them, more than a cutter, which is fair. But I think they're the superior choice and worth it. And you can cut a pizza SUPER DUPER fast with these bad boys.)

To be clear: I don't think commercial grade cutters are bad, I just think the pizza bat'leth is better, but if you get a decent 4 inch Dexter (or whatever commercial brand) cutter for your house you probably will be able to pass it on to your kids, they are made for much heavier usage than you will ever use it for. I'd estimate that even on a slow day at work we go through 100 items that require the cutter. I think we get a new cutter every quarter or so. They're made to slice thousands and thousands of pizzas, is my point. you'll be fine.

And, again, unless you make pizza with a lot of regularity, or also do a lot of pastry work at home (in which case a food rotary cutter can be useful) I doubt it's worth the expense and drawer space.

ironically, i think kitchen shears might also work better than most home grade cutters. They have some of the sharp downward pressure you might need, though I suspect round ingredients (your sausage and meatballs, for example) might squirt around rather than slice. Though I'd recommend waiting 3-5 minutes for the pizza to set up before cutting with shears.

A: when a pizza is fresh out of the oven the sauce and cheese are largely still liquid and will pour right off your pizza if you're not careful (this is a common rookie mistake for pizza delivery- if you tip the box when the pizza is still setting up you will dump the toppings right off)

B: the sauce and cheese are liquid and therefore boiling lava hot and you will burn the ever-loving shit out of yourself (ask me how I know)

if you want to tear it apart with your bare hands, I'm not here to judge, I have absolutely done that, this is just information for if you want a good looking slice of pizza

[justanartsysideblog]

Melarue gets traded to Andruil, what happens now?

You don’t pull your punches, do you anon?

This version of Andruil and Uthvir (mention) belong to @feynites. 

Warnings for: blood, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse

---

The trade is unexpected.

Melarue knows that Andruil has asked for them from Sylaisebefore. Never pressed too hard, so that Sylaise would not think she heldsomething of value to her sister, but enough that it was known. They haveserviced Andruil before, just as they have serviced Falon’Din, and their LadySylaise and her husband.

Andruil is kinder than her eldest brother, but that meansvery little. Less volatile, but no less cruel.

Something cold and heavy settles in the pit of theirstomach. They have been traded toAndruil. They do not know the details, but certainly Sylaise must have donesomething terrible to offend her sister, something her parents thought wasworthy of gifting her one of the highest-ranking managers in Arlathan. For surelythere was nothing that Andruil would have given up in exchange for the exorbitantprice Sylaise would have placed upon them otherwise.

Their agents tell her of Mythal’s intervention, when Andruilwould have whisked them away to her far-flung holdings. They have entrenchedthemselves too deeply into the bones of this corpse of a city to be taken fromit without consequence. They are needed, for things to run smoothly. 

So their position is to remain, something they are gratefulfor. It is something they’d planned for, and they are glad to see it work sosmoothly, but it had not stopped their worry over the issue. So easily theycould have been thrown to the lowest levels of Andruil’s ranks, to be passedaround by her hunters once she lost interest with whatever heinous game sheplanned to play with them.

Faunalyn comes to them once she learns of her mistress’plans, days after Melarue has been informed by Splendor. Melarue is redesigningtheir rooms, the ones used for their private sessions. Andruil will be spending her time with Melarue here, unless she decides to summon Melarue to her Arlathanestate. It is best that they make the room to Andruil’s tastes.

Faunalyn pushes past Morwen, ignoring his indignant huff,before closing the double doors shut with an audible boom. Melarue feels thesilencing wards on the room activate, and makes a mental note to add healingsigils into the floor. It will make their recovery easier after a night withtheir new mistress…

“You have been traded.”

“So it would seem,” Melarue nods, holding up an erminethrow. “Do you believe this would be to Your—Our Lady’s tastes?”

Faunalyn’s scowl deepens. “Is that all you have to say?”

“There are worse things,” Melarue murmurs, running theirhand through the fur before placing it on the settee behind them. “It will beunpleasant, but I will survive.” Survive.Endure. Remember. Plan. “She will grow bored after a few years, and thenall will settle.”

“Does this change our plans?”

Melarue shakes their head. “Not as of yet. I will haveMorwen send word through one of the hunters to you if need be.” They pause, andswallow. “There is one thing that will need to be done.”

“What is it?” Faunalyn asks solemnly. It is in these momentsthat Melarue wonders why the two of them never got along while Nithroel lived.Their comradery runs in tenuous undercurrents, but it runs nonetheless. But itis a comradery born of mutual loss and the safety of their son, rather than anyaffection between them. Perhaps it is stronger for it.

“Keep our son away. Keep him safe. We must give Andruil noreason to look upon him with favor.”

---

Andruil does not remain in her Arlathan estate.

Instead the Huntress has a new suite built in the PleasureDistrict, and seems content to conduct her business from there; a show of herconquest of Arlathan’s infamous pleasure worker.

Andruil personally places her vallaslin upon their face; darkred, the color of old blood. She marks fresh lines of crimson across Melarue’sbody that night to match, and many nights afterward. 

Melarue loses count afterthree weeks.

They are lucky that their rank means they are not at thebeck and call of anyone aside from Andruil. It gives them proper time torecover until the next time they are summoned. The healers of the pleasuredistrict are quick and efficient—Melarue has made certain of it.

Too many servants of Falon’Din and Andruil emulate theirmasters for Melarue not to have properly trained healers on hand.

Keep her entertained,but not intrigued, they think, as a sharp knife slides beneath their skinwith the ease of a butcher’s finesse. Lether grow bored.

Andruil’s satisfied laughter echoes.

Endure.

Their blood shines against the white marbled floor tiles.

Endure.

They glance up at the domed ceiling, and the mosaic of deerrunning from a swift-moving hunter.

Endure.

Their throat fills with blood and their breath stutters, astheir eyesight begins to blur.

Endure.

---

“The Lady Andruil has not visited for several months, surelyyou can stop wearing her colors.” Morwen huffs. “Fur has not been in style for centuries.”

Melarue waves off their disgust with a tired smile. “My dearMorwen, if I wear something, it is instyle. Even Sylaise will find a need to commission a cape, at the very least,before the year is out. Shani,” They call to the elf braiding their hair, “Didyou send someone to collect the gowns I had commissioned?”

“Of course, Melarue.”

“You may go then, Shani. Morwen will finish.”

Shani ducks out of the room as quietly as she’d entered, andMorwen folds his arms over his chest. “You can braid that on your own.”

Melarue smiles to themselves as they do so, trying to ignore how sore they are. Their skin still feels raw, even after months of rest, and an ache has settled in their bones that they do not think will ever fade. “I told you didI not? Andruil will grow bored. She will have found some new playtoy todistract her. She will take me out to play with when Sylaise reminds her thatshe owns me, and I will only need to deal with her on occasion.”

Before Morwen can retort, there is a sharp knock on thedoor; it is a hunter Melarue recognizes, but does not know the name of. Alower-ranking servant content to remain in Andruil’s Arlathan estate. They speakquickly, out of breath, as if they’ve run the entire way here.

“Lady Andruil has summoned you to her estate within thecity.”

Melarue blinks, “Our Lady is on a hunting excursion and isnot due back for at least another month.”

The hunter shakes their head. “Our Lady is not present. Shesent orders for you, that is all I know.”

Melarue nods. “I will be but a moment then.”

---

They do not often visit their rooms in Andruil’s Arlathanestate. They were awarded them months past, but they have preferred toremain in the Pleasure District to conduct their duties as manager.

It is easier to feel less isolated that way; easier to get information to and from their agents. 

There is a simple sealed missive on the table in the centerof the room. They press their thumb into the wax and magic flits across thepaper before fading, the seal lifted as they unravel the parchment and begin toread.

I have sent you apuzzle. I hope you enjoy it. I’ve grown bored of its present state, but perhapsyou can make it worth my interest again. You did so wonderfully with Uthvir. Iwould hate to think you’d be unable to replicate it.

That is when they hear the shuffle of bare feet againstwood, and turn, tense and alert. They had sensed nothing, and realize why moments later, asthey focus on the slender figure standing before them, covered in blood. Theair around the elf is empty, devoid of any feeling.

Not an elf, a construct. A…hollow vessel. They take a stepforward and blink. It is not blood, they realize, as they tuck a few locksbehind the vessel’s slender ear, but hair. Crimson, and as long and thin as aspider’s web, only a few shades darker than its eyes. And in those eyes theysee something that makes them pause.

This is no hollow vessel, even if the life inside of it seems shattered.

“What is your name?” They ask softly, as they take off theircloak and place it around the elf’s trembling shoulders.

“I…” Her voice is soft and sweet, “I do not have one.”

“Well,” Melarue murmurs,steering her toward a couch. “That is something we must fix.”

---

Sorry it took so long to respond with this, anon! I had to ask Feynites about a few things and decide just how dark I was going to let it get. Fey suggested that Andruil would probably send Melarue ‘broken dolls’ (spirit-less bodies that Ghilan’nain makes for her amusement every so often) after she grew bored of them, to see if Melarue could make something worth her interest again.

Does this mean that Melarue is going to end up raising an awesome army of elves hell bent on Andruil’s destruction? Weeeeell I suppose we’ll have to see. It’s definitely a terrible au for Melarue short term (probably a century or so of having to be a constant bedmate to Andruil), but in the long run it gives them lots of advantages for the rebellion that they did not initially have. So who knows how it could end?

This was an interesting concept, thanks for the prompt anon!

[ask-the-friendly-ink-demon]

//ayyyyyyyy redesigned ink dad and he looking fineeee~~~ also MARKPILER REFERENCE XD -----another short teaser of next chapter in story XD---- Henry woke up after an few hours he groaned as he rubbed his eyes and stood up and then wincing in pain as he held his leg which was wrapped in bandages “what... the....” he asked himself and looked around confuse to where he was at and then he forgotten about someone “bendy!” he said calling out his friend’s name only finding something in his gun holster he saw his revolver the same one he gave the hooded devil he saw an note on the table like bed he was laying on ans picked it up and read it “hey henry if your reading this than chances are im already long gone and off to where SHE is, im tired of always watching my best friend die and watching you risk your life for me. im going to put a stop to this  im going to stop susie..... even if it means.... killing alice in the process.... still my friend... please don’t come after me, this is something i have to do alone...” henry’s eyes trailed down to a trail of ink leading outside the room in which he assumed was a medical center in the studio. he glared at the letter and putted it down sighing “that little punk.....” he said sighing “well that’s what i get for putting too much of my own characteristics in his design” he said and looked at the window his expression sadden when he saw the zombiefied ink thomas as he wandered outside the room not noticing henry. his eyes trailed to a coat hanger where an old clothing he recognized “well well well.... i never though i see this beauty again” he said to himself as he picked the worn out trenchcoat and saw stains of ink on some parts of it “to think i though joey would of thrown out anything else that reminded him of me.. guess he forgot about this one..” he sighed and then looking over to another open door with the sign “ARMORY” on it he went in and saw only an few weapons left he noticed an winchestor shotgun and picked it up and saw an shelf of axe heads he held up his trusty fireaxe he gained and took off the worn out axe head and grabbed an new one and putted it in it was sharper too. after minutes of gearign up and taking an few other supplies with him he grabbed the coat and used joey’s ‘old’ knife to cut off haft of the trenchcoat’s sleeves and the back of it and putted the coat on while also putting the winchestor shotgun over him the belt strap fitting like an glove he putted on his other shoulder belt that his axe fitted in and putted on his gloves he grabbed his revolver and looked at himself in the mirror he did’int realized how tired and beaten and worn out he was he shook that though out fo his head and gripped on his revolver thinking of only one thing to do right now “hang on tight boris.... i’m coming to get you out of there... along with bendy too” he turned his attention to pair of boots that had an camo like design to it and took off his ink stained boots and putted on the new ones he rolled down the left sleeve of his arm and grabbed his axe and walked towards the door and turned the knob slightly to the left. ----- full name: Henry Jefferson Ross Jr ((his father’s name was jefferson)) age: 37 height: 5′9 ft tall noticeable features: he has an burnt scar on his arm reaching down to his wrist (blame joey for that happening .3.) and his eyes have an slight hint of blue in them. voice accent: his voice sounds like either ford or stan from gravity falls. things he loves to do: work on bendy, drawing, being with his family, look at the sunset, using the grill to BBQ (will show that happening) family members: Jess (his daughter) jefferson (his father), unnamed mother (don’t have an clear name for her) his cousin, sister, etc doesn’t like to do: talk about his past before he and joey started up the bendy cartoons, his time of serving in the marines, being called old, fears: nightmares about the war when he was a kid when a small group of  enemy soldiers took him hostage and his father had to save him. the reason why he doesn’t want to remember or talk about it is because he himself had to use one of the soldier’s guns to kill the last one that was going to stab his father. he still has nightmares about that and his time serving his cousin’s place in the marines, leaving the studios on the day he had to go to take care of his cousin and taking his palce in the marines, he thinks that if he did’int leave in the first place none of the twisted, satanic, gruesome events that were done at the studio never happened. appearance: for the redesign i based him off of some of the henry designs i seen on here and for the hair it is based off of markipiler and DAgames ((still bad at drawing hangs but gotten a little better at my drawing skills xD)) ------ welll there he is! i have to work on the other characters’s designs! hopefully i won’t mess up when i do the butcher gang’s designs ^^; if you all want to draw fanart of him you don’t have to include his axe or gun if you plan on drawing something cute with him and his favorite devil toon, or if you plan on drawing something that’s based off of one of the scenes in my fanfic than do as you all pleased with his weapons XD

[harley623gaming-blog]

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