#I block them too but ewwwwww

[bunnihearted]

🌧️🫧💭

[kharmii]

I shouldn't get annoyed by it but I can't help but get annoyed by the obvious favoritsm going on in the Submas fandom...

I dunno its frustrating to see a pair of twins constantly being put up like that and pit against each other when their true strength is in them being close and together....

It makes me loose my interest because its the big names doing the favoritsm and it feels like everyone is following their lead.

I'm usually someone who doesn't complain much about things going on in fandom (I thankfully managed to avoid the gross stuff so far, thanks to the block button where everything that makes me uncomfortable or doesn't spark interest gets the boot.) But I feel the more I stay silent the more upset I get.

It's not only the favoritsm that annoys me but also the deconstruction of the character. Its basically just a skinsuit for someone's OC and that ticks me off so much.

It ticks me off when media does it with established characters and it ticks me off when some alphabet freaks do it in my fandom.

The japanese fandom is such a breath of fresh air. They do diverge a lot too but it doesn't feel like OC material... and at the core the twins are still themselves.

Honestly this is also a reason I don't mind shippers. I don't like the ship in of itself but I do appreciate that they're still themselves for the most part. Just with some kinks and fetishes shoved in. (some more alright then others... a lot of them are... ewwwwww)

But yeah I hope it's okay to vent out a little here. I'm not someone actively in the fandom more a silent fan from the sidelines but it just bothers me how the fandom devolved over time into that hive of scum and villany it is now.

I'm not sure if I understand 100% what you are saying, but it might be because I don't know who the popular artists are anymore. Seems like most of them have lost interest and are being replaced by new people with recent fixations. Even looking at the tags with another account that everybody hasn't blocked, I'm still not seeing the same people I saw when PLA was at the height of popularity.

Even the Volo tag is lagging. Masters just did an event with him in it, and the tags didn't even blow up. I didn't see any of that clique of people who badmouthed me on Discord over what I said about trans people. This is why Japanese artists are the best. They haven't slowed down on content. I'm still seeing regular art of almost everything I'm into.

Maybe you're talking about fans who post one and not the other? In some context that works -such as PLA fans where Ingo is there with no Emmet- but a lot of fans also treat Emmet as a self-insert. I see that a lot....like he's austistic LIKE ME and I want to make him this stand-up guy. Am I the only one who has ever written fan fics where Emmet beats Volo at something and is a total douche about it? -Like he does end-zone dances and is all like IN YOUR FACE!! (.....because in the very first games, he'd taunt you if you lost against him). People take them both too seriously sometimes.

At least I can tone out all that other stuff and still find the sweet angst with the Japanese artists.

Art credit: ぽち@oniptt Twitter.

Side note: I hear ya about deconstructing a character and making it about the alphabet sexual nonsense. Someone did that recently on a Geten RP blog on Twitter. They were all like, "This Geten is asexual agender aromantic, has sharp teeth, eats human flesh and raw meat.."

I'm thinking....I don't like the goofy fetishes, but I do like me some shipping. There has to be a happy medium here, like this is what people are like if they don't have sexual fantasies to fall back on. It's like......I'm not into sex and romance, so all I have to fall back on is cannibalism. Yep, cannibalism, and I'm happy about it, godammaaaaaaattt!!!!!

[juipterjim]

MIKEY AU PART 2

Mikey’s POV

We finally cross paths and the krang lunges his arm trying to land a hit, but I duck under his arm, punching at his slimy body. Its back hunched over, but then it quickly turns back to me.

“Lucky shot”

“Awwww did I WuRt YoU ToO HaRd?” I mock right back at him.

Realizing what I did, its face automatically shifts into infuriation as he charges toward me ten times more pissed. Despite the fear that was shaking in my bones, I prayed to the pizza universe in the sky that my facial expression is calm as I throw my arm once again to meet up with theirs and swipe it down and hold it. They attempt to use their other arm to get to me but I block it as well and punch it in the face since it’s at a level where I can reach. Once it loses stability, I quickly kick him in the knee. Once it kneeled, I slapped it in the face with my palm stretched out. It felt like it all happened in slow motion. Again, I quickly punched its body, then took its head and slammed it with my nunchucks. Finally, I did a quick sweep the leg and it flew off towards some debris, leaving the effect of it so big that I thought for sure that I left a mark there.

Once the dust cleared up, it was laid face down on their front. But ever so slowly, it rose back up. Should’ve known it wasn’t gonna go down that easily.

“ok….MY TURN” it spoke in a bitter, cold voice that I physically flinched and took a step back. By the time I blinked…, it was gone. Suddenly I felt a presence right behind me. Before I could even register what was going on, its arm lunged at me and picked me up then threw me on the ground HARD. I cry out in pain from the force. Then it took out its foot and put it down towards my plastron. The air rushed out of my lungs and I felt something warm come out of me…blood? I tried to budge out of their grasp but I could barely move an inch. “ I am forever known what you FAIL TO UNDERSTAND!!” Its voice gradually raises louder. “STRENGTH…ALWAYS…PREVAILS!!!” With each word, it kept applying pressure on my body and everything felt stiff and painful. As I squint one of my eyes to catch a glimpse of their face, it contained a sinister grin and their eyes have completely gone red slitted, making them look menacing. It thinks that it won. But I will NOT let it end like this.

After the fifth try, I successfully managed to free the arm that had my nunchuck and take out the hidden blade from it, throwing it towards its armor and stabbing it. I slowly give it a wicked grin in return.

“hehe...you know… it’s not good to be overconfident...otherwise, you’ll miss out on what your enemy can do”

“And just what exactly would that be? You can barely MOVE. You’re under MY hold.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that”

Very quickly, I draw the mystic energy from my nunchuck, the orange spots on my body glowing as well, and create a huge energy burst, sending the both of us away.

Donnie and Raph’s POV

I take another deep, slow breath. Okay… Raph is right. I’m not alone in this. I just gotta do what I do best. Think. “Ok so-” “ GUYS?!? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!” Leo’s voice cuts me off from my communicator. I answered him quickly. “We’re in Staten Island” “Ewwwwww!! Staten Island! Gross!” Even though we’re in this whole “world is ending'' situation, the barbs still continue. “Yeah Yeah I know, just get your butt over here Leonar-” Before I could even finish the rest of his name, I already saw his blue portal from my peripheral vision and him quickly running through it to give Raph a hug which he quickly returned, then gave me one. What is it with everyone hugging me? Seriously? “I’m just so glad you guys aren’t dead and are okay,” Leo said, relieved his voice was muffled. “MY SONS!!” “You guys!” He pulled from the hug as we all looked to our right and saw dad and April run quickly towards us. I realized that future boy wasn’t with us and it looked like I wasn’t the only one that noticed. “Wait. Where’s Casey?” Leo questioned. “ He’s trying to get the key. We heard about what happened to Mikey. What are we gonna do?!?!” April shrieked. “ MY BABY SON IS OUT THERE FOR GOD’S SAKE!! MAYBE IF WE GET BLUE TO PORTAL BACK- “He’s WAY too injured to go back there. What if we- “ “NO! WE DON’T KNOW IF THAT SPECIFIC WIRE IS GONNA GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY DONNIE?!?”

With all these voices overlapping each other, I can’t get my head set straight and it’s only making the pressure worse. As the oldest, it’s my duty to make sure my family stays safe. But I clearly can’t do that right. Mind Raph isn’t helping me come up with any ideas at all. The thought of my baby brother taking his last breath and di- NOPE! Not even gonna THINK about that.

“ENOUGHHHH!” I shouted, which silenced everyone.

“ We’re not getting anywhere like this! Donnie, if you wanna start telling us what you had in mind, NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME!!!” I yelled. Everyone just looks at me in shock. I didn’t even realize I was catching my breath from shouting so loud. “.... I was just gonna plug in the wires that I grabbed earlier and plug them in the right spots so I can get my battle shell to work…” His voice getting smaller.

“Okay… you get on that as quick as you can. As for the rest of us-”

“...Guys…I don’t really have a whole lot of time left…so I just wanted to tell you guys one thing before I go…” I hear Mikey's loving but resigned voice from my communicator.

Part 3? 🙃

[izzyfandoms]

Chosen - Chapter Five

(This is a Gender-Swapped Sanders Sides high school au)

SUMMARY: Logan Berry, Dee Ceite, Patricia Foster, Virginia Picani and Regina and Rena Prince are all 16-year-old high school students. They live relatively normal lives, with ordinary lessons and ordinary crushes and ordinary families, until one day a monster shows up and attacks them after class, and everything suddenly changes.

SHIPS: Moxiety, Logince, Dukeceit

WARNINGS: Sympathetic Remus, Sympathetic Deceit, swearing, siblings arguing, sexual implications

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game

CHOSEN TAGLIST: @coasting-on-a-wave-of-apathy @littlestr @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear

Masterpost

FIRST CHAPTER | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“And then Regina was like ‘what? I don’t have a crush on Logan!’ which is super silly ‘cos they’re so obvious and she’s told me that she likes Lo so many times!” Patricia rambled on.  

“Mmm,” Virginia hummed in agreement; she was painting Patricia’s nails with a pretty, dark purple nail polish. “It is pretty silly.”

It was Sunday, and they were currently at Virge’s house, in her room, sat together on her bed.

“Yeah!” Patricia blew a raspberry.  

Virge tapped her girlfriend’s knee. “Stop moving, you’re gonna mess up your nails.”

“Oh, sorry, honey!” Pat stopped moving. “Anyway, Logan totally likes her back, right? I mean, she’s basically told us. And Dee and Rena, too! They’re super-duper in love, I just wanna take their faces and smush them together until they get married and live happily ever after!”

“As entertaining as that would be,” Virge said, finishing Patricia’s left hand and moved to the right one. “We shouldn’t meddle. Let them deal with their own shit.”

Patricia tutted lightly. “Language.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Virge said. She examined her own nails – pastel blue, painted by Pat earlier – double checking that they hadn’t been damaged, though they were already dry. “You know I’m right, though. You’re always telling me not to interfere, no matter how often I want to tell them. They’ll figure it out on their own.”

Pat sighed. “Yeah, I know.” She then giggled. “Doesn’t mean we can’t still complain, though.”

Virginia hummed in agreement again, and the two sat in comfortable silence for almost a minute, as Virge finished painting Pat’s nails. Once she was done, the pigtailed girl looked over her hands appreciatively.

“Yay! Now my nails are your favourite colour and your nails are mine! It’s perfect!” Patricia giggled, beaming.

Her girlfriend gave her a small smile. “You’re adorable.”

Patricia giggled again, softly, a light blush on her cheeks. She leant forward, careful not to smudge either of their nails, pressing a kiss to the tip of her girlfriend’s nose. Virge waited a few moments, watching her girlfriend adoringly, before she pounced, the shorter girl falling back on the bed, the taller almost on top of her.  

Pat spluttered with laughter as Virginia tickled her sides, the purple-haired girl grinning mischievously as she did so.

“Ah, Virge!” Patricia exclaimed between laughter. “You’re gonna- you're gonna make me mess up my nail polish!”

Virginia finally stopped the onslaught of tickling, pushing herself up so she was hovering over her girlfriend, and shaking her head to get her hair out of her eyes.  

Patricia wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck, pulling her down to kiss her properly and closing her eyes.  

Virge kissed her back eagerly, her hands at her girlfriend’s waist. Pat’s lips were soft, as usual, and tasted vaguely sweet, like strawberries – she switched up the flavour regularly, so it was always a bit of a surprise. Virge’s lips, by contrast, were always slightly chapped, as she tended to chew them when she was especially anxious, but, in Patricia’s opinion, that didn’t make kissing her any less enjoyable.

“Ewwwwww!”

The two teenagers pulled apart immediately, their heads turning sharply to face the door, which was now open. Virginia’s eleven-year-old sister, Anne, was standing in the doorway, making a grossed-out face. She was wearing one of her sister’s old black-and-grey hoodies, and she had eyeshadow smudged under both eyes – she'd never admit it, but she was absolutely copying her older sister’s style.

“Get out my room!” Virge screeched, turning red. She sat up and grabbed one of her pillows, chucking it at her sister.

Anne dodged the purple projectile and ran off, laughing. “Mom, Virge and Pat are kissing again!”

“Leave them alone, Dear,” Emily half-scolded from across the hallway, though she was still smiling pleasantly. This was honestly the harshest she ever got with her daughters. She walked up to Virginia’s bedroom door and gave the two blushing teens a slightly apologetic smile. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” She teased, shutting the door.

“Mom!” Virge whined, before turning back to her girlfriend. “I’m sorry my sister’s such a brat.”

Patricia poked her shoulder teasingly. “Don’t be mean.”

Virge rolled her eyes, but pressed a reassuring kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. “I’m not being mean; this is just what it’s like having a sister. Ask Regina or Rena, I’m sure they’d agree.”

Pat pouted a little at that. “I wish I had a sister. You’ve got Anne, and you’ll probably have Dee, too, soon.”

“You can bond with Logan about it, I guess,” Virginia shrugged.

The pigtailed girl gasped, her eyes brightening. “Logan can be my sister, then!” She pulled out her phone, careful not to mes sup her nail . “I’m gonna go tell her, right now.”  

CATS

Patricia

Logan!!!!!!

Logan!!!!!!!!!!

Logan!!!!

Logan!!!!!!

Logan!!!!!!!!!!

Lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee

I should’ve muted this chat.

Logan

Patricia, you now have my attention.

Patricia

Logan!

Your my sister now!!!!!!

Logan

*You’re.

Also, what?

We do not share any parental figures; how can we be sisters?

Regina

God ofc you use perfect grammar in texts ilysm

Logan

What do ‘ofc’ and ‘ilysm’ mean?

Rena

it means she wants to fusdjjkfhfjshfkldjfdkshfjdhfdjfhsdkhfksdlfhsdfh

Virginia

oops guess renas been murdered

Logan

What?

Dee

Ignore her

Regina probably just tackled her

Regina

ur right!!!!!!!!!!!

gina did take my phone!!!!!!!

but I took hers and now im locked in the bathroom!!!!!!!!

i can say whateva i like!!!!!!!

REGINA IS TYPING

Dee

Oh dear

REGINA HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM ‘CATS’

RENA HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM ‘CATS’

Virginia

using my admin powers for good

“Virge!” Patricia exclaimed, poking her girlfriend’s shoulder disapprovingly.

“What?” Virginia shrugged. “Do you want to hear everything Rena has to say about what Regina and Logan wanna do with each other?”

Pat wrinkled her nose uncomfortably. “Well, no... but it’s mean to remove them!”

“Fine,” Virge sighed. “But if Rena starts talking about sex, I’m going to remove her again.”

PATRICIA HAS ADDED REGINA TO ‘CATS’

PATRICIA HAS ADDED RENA TO ‘CATS’

Virginia

rena if you talk about anything inappropriate from either your phone or reginas im blocking both of you

Regina

I finally got my phone back!

And I agree

Pls don’t do that  

Rena

:(

what counts as inappropriate tho

Virginia

anything that would upset pat

Rena

boo!  

boring

“I’m going to fight her.”

“Honey, please don’t.”

Logan

Patricia, what was it you were trying to tell me at the start? Your statement about us being sisters was factually (and grammatically) incorrect.

Patricia

Were the only people on the chat without sisters!!!!! That means we should be sisters now so were not alone!!!!!

Logan

*We’re and *we’re.

And that does not make sense.

Besides, Dee doesn’t have any siblings, either.

Patricia

She and Virge are gonna be sisters soon right!!!!!!!

And youre my sister now sorry I dont make the rules!!!!!

Logan

*You’re and *don’t.

You were the one who made this chat. You do, literally, make the rules.

Virginia

(just go with it)

There was almost a minute of no texting, though everyone appeared to still be online, and Patricia shifted closed to her girlfriend in the interim, practically seating herself in the taller girl’s lap. Finally, Logan started typing again.

Logan

Fine.

Patricia

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to spam you with heart emojis now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Logan

Please, don’t.

Patricia

Okay I won’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee

I hate to interrupt

But my mom just got a message from Remy

Apparently, she and her parents are inviting us (and Mr Thomas) and any of our parents who know about the monster shit (her words not mine) to this fancy party at her place next Saturday . We need to dress kinda fancy, like dresses or fancy shirts and trousers, as it’s like tradition or something to hold these parties for each generation of chosen ones

Mom says she can tell any of your parents who don’t know the truth that you’re all at my house

But she also recommends you tell your parents whats actually going on

Virginia

ew party

Rena

ew telling dad the truth about the monsters

Logan

I didn’t think you were one to shy away from the truth, Rena. Wouldn’t it be easier to be honest with your father?

Rena

normally i wouldnt care

but if dad finds out about all this he could get all protective and shit and try to stop us from fighting monsters and all that other ‘dangerous’ stuff

Regina

Ugh, I can’t believe I acc agree with u

Patricia

Im still tryna figure out how to tell my moms!!!!!!!  

I might ask Miss Emily to help me but idk

Virginia

she would she loves u

Regina

Wait lol pat arent you at virges house rn why r u texting  

Patricia

Because I love all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RENA IS TYPING

Regina

Before you speak

Is it appropriate?

Rena

no

Virginia

then dont

Rena

):

Virginia

dee can u get ur mom to text my mom the details  

Logan

Mine, too, please.

Dee

Sure

Regina

Me and rena will have to ask dad later hes busy rehearsing lines rn

Rena

acc hes probs just txting the dude he went out with yesterday lmao

he wont tell us anything bout it and got kinda awkward when we asked bout the guy he went out with

so im assuming they fucked

Regina

I hate you so much

Stop saying that

Fight me

One day Im acc going to fight you and it is going to be brutal

Rena

i will win

Patricia

Hey now!!!!!!!

No fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!

“This won’t end well,” Virge said dryly, rolling her eyes.

Patricia hummed quietly in agreement, her brow creased. “I wish they wouldn’t argue so much, it makes me sad.”

Her girlfriend opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off by the bedroom door opening again. They both turned and watched as Emily stepped inside, giving them a smile.

“Patricia, your moms are here.”

“Oh, okay!” Patricia pocketed her phone and wiggled out of her girlfriend’s lap, jumping up and stretching. She took a step in the direction of the door, before pausing. She glanced up at her girlfriend’s mom with a slightly sheepish look. “Um, do you think at some point you’d be able to help explain the chosen one stuff to my moms? I’d like to tell them, but I’m not sure they’d believe me straight away.”

Emily’s expression softened; she put her hand on Pat’s shoulder supportively. “Of course, dear. In fact, I’m having dinner with Harriet on Wednesday. Would you like me to tell her then?”

“Yes, please! That would be super helpful, thank you!” Patricia beamed. She then turned on her heel, back to her girlfriend, and leant forward to kiss her quickly. “Bye, Honey! I love you so much!”

“Love you, too, Pat,” Virge responded softly, a little embarrassed that her mom was there to witness this, but still smiling slightly.

[superwolfiestar]

Partners in Time Ch. 17

As soon as everyone walked into the next room after venturing into the narrow passage created by the boulder, they heard a scream:

"Whoa! Help!" it was from a Manny.

"Eh? Where did that come from?" Manny puzzled as everyone looked around.

"Up there!" Young Panchito pointed upwards.

They looked up and saw a strange blue machine, where a red gray Manny was on the top, in a small bathtub of bubbles.

"Bleahhhhh… This is gross." The red gray Yoshi cringed, until he was sucked inside the machine's interior. "Ouch! Dark, too."

He came out trapped inside a magenta egg with green spots. It followed the trail of the conveyor belt, showing more of those eggs on, leading them to somewhere.

"THE HECK?!" Jose shouted in shock.

"OH NO!" Panchito panicked.

"Well, I am stupemortified! There's an EGG factory in this beast's torsal cavity…" Stuffwell said.

"This is vile Alien work. We must do whatever it takes to free the captive Mannys!" Stuffwell continued. "Not only that, we need to find Zeus and his precious belly. BACK TO ADVENTURE!" he jumped back into Panchito's pocket.

"Well, we need to free the Mannys. I can't stand to see any of them hurt." Young Jose said. Everyone nodded and moved on.

In the next room, they saw the same green, yellow, red and light-blue gray Mannys trying to push another boulder, which was blocking the exit.

"Another one?! Seriously?" Young Panchito complained.

"Push! PUSH!" the gray Manny demanded as he and the other Mannys struggled to move the boulder.

"Something's missing here… Where are the blue gray and pink gray Mannys?" Young Jose asked.

"Maybe they're trapped inside those eggs over there?" Jose pointed to two eggs inside two transparent blocks next to the entrance.

"Possibly. I'll get them." Panchito said as he walked towards the blocks and picked up the eggs. He walked back to them and placed the eggs on the floor. "Now how do we break them?"

"Leave it to us!" Young Panchito said as he and Young Jose pulled out their hammers and smashed both eggs with them, freeing the blue gray and pink gray Mannys.

"Whoa… Tight fit…" the blue gray Manny remarked.

"Ewwwwww… That was gnarly." The pink gray Yoshi cringed.

"Hey, look! There they are!" the blue Yoshi pointed to the Mannys pushing the boulder.

"We gotta roll ANOTHER?!" the pink gray Manny questioned in shock as he and the blue gray Manny went to the others.

"No matter! Let's do it!" the blue gray Manny exclaimed as he and the pink gray Manny worked together to push the boulder.

Eventually, the boulder rolled out of the way, unblocking the exit.

"All right!" the Manny cheered. "Now we can move on!" they walked through the exit, with the four heroes. following suit.

Soon after dealing with some Dry Bones Beagle and RC Aliens, the heroes heard a familiar female voice coming from the next room:

"Hold on! I'll kick you out of there!"

"Wait… I know that voice!" Panchito's eyes widened.

"Me too!" Jose added.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's hurry!"

To their surprise, they saw none other than Princess Della standing next to a bunch of eggs! Once the heroes went in, she turned around and looked at them with her eyes widened.

She just stood there with a confused look on her face.

"Hey, hang on! Who are you guys?" Princess Della asked.

Super Caballeros's eyes widened in surprise once she said that; she doesn't remember them at all? That really wasn't a good thing…

"Della? What are you talking about? We're your friends! Don't you remember?" Della asked.

"What? Della? My name's Della?" Della questioned. Hearing that made the youngsters astonished since they're seeing the future version of Princess Della.

"Yeah! Della Duck! Princess of Sarasaland! And…" Jose blabbing on.

"A heroes from 'Mushroom Kingdom? 'Boy Princess Donald Duck? 'Time'… 'machine'?" Princess Della questioned on the topics Jose was telling her. But she became stressed out and held her head while shaking it. "Ow…" she winced. "I… The past is a total blank! It makes my mind hurt… No matter how hard I try, I can't remember a thing…"

"Oh no… Is she suffering from amnesia?" Panchito thought with a saddened look.

But soon, something came in Princess Della’s mind: "Wait, no, pretend that I just lied. There is one thing…" she walks closer to the heroes. "Every once in a while, a dim memory surfaces… I just drew this picture of the image…"

She hands them a drawing of some kind. It showed a pair of two female hands holding up the complete Cobalt Star against Princess Penumbra of Shroob. They didn't notice, but the drawing had dirt patches on it, covering most of it, making it unclear to whom those hands belonged to. The heroes guessed that they could belong to Boy Princess Donald.

"I honestly don't have a clue what that is." Princess Della said. "What I do know is that it scares me. I think that's the reason my memory is blank. I can't bear to remember!"

"Easy, Della. You'll get your memory back soon enough." Panchito smiled.

"Thank you, P…uh…" Princess Della couldn't remember Panchito's name.

"Panchito. My name is Panchito."

"Okay then, Panchito." Princess Della smiled back. "At least I'll never forget who you are. You can take the drawing with you, if you want."

"We'll do!" Jose replied as he picks up the drawing. "We can later show it to the Professor Gyro once we get back to our time."

"But, what just happened to you, Della? How did you end up getting here? Do you remember?" Panchito asked.

"Yes." Princess Della nodded. "I just woke up in the Mannys' village… Then that huge lizard ate some Mannys and me all down."

"Just a quick question: what are these eggs?" Young Panchito asked.

"My friends, the Mannys, are trapped inside them." Princess Della explained. "And the Mannys that were in eggs are probably going to be reborn as monsters…"

"Monsters?!" They all eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah… That's why I have to hurry and get them out of there, but…" she paused for a moment. "There's this huge, nasty THING in the back who's guarding the exit."

"If you say so, then we'll take that thing out!" Panchito said with determination.

"Are you out of your mind? It's big and scary! And it smells…really weird." Princess Della protested.

"Guess we'll have to explain that to her once again in our way…" Panchito sweatdropped as he turned to Jose and the youngsters. The trio approached Panchito as he begins: "We're the Super Caballeros and plumbin's our game…"

"…We're not like the others who get all the fame!" Young Panchito finished.

"We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers!" Young Jose continued.

"If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double…" Jose added.

"…We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the PLUMBERS!" the four finished, shoving their fists into the air.

"Wow… Just who ARE you guys?" Princess Della was astonished.

"Let's go, everyone!" Panchito exclaimed.

"Yeah!" the rest of the heroes nodded as they walked into the room, leaving Princess Della alone.

[fancoloredglasses]

The Dark Knight Falls (Do NOT mess with Batman!)

(Thanks to HipComic)

[All images are owned by DC Comics and WarnerMedia. I hope I’m too small-fry to sue...]  

PREVIOUSLY ON...

Bruce Wayne (now in his late 50s/early 60s) dons the cape and cowl 10 years after retiring, sparking a lot of controversy about Batman’s violent methods.

Meanwhile, the threat of a murderous street gang known as the Mutants has been neutralized by Batman by publicly defeating and humiliating their leader. Those who were not arrested have splintered into smaller gangs (including the Sons Of the Batman, who have become vigilantes themselves...though with fewer moral codes than their inspiration)

Amid this, Commissioner James Gordon retires. His replacement, Commissioner Ellen Yindel, has publicly condemned Batman’s actions, vowing to put him behind bars.

The return of Batman has awakened a catatonic Joker, who went a one-night murderous spree unlike any he had done before until Batman broke his neck, just short of killing him. However, the Joker gets the last laugh as he finishes the job, framing Batman for his murder.

Now, on with our story.  If you would like to read the graphic novel of the series, it’s  available in most comic ships and bookstores. If you would like to view  the film, it’s available on Amazon Prime behind the paywall.

Batman takes a moment to rest after seeing the Joker killing himself...and promptly passes out. He wakes moments later to hear Commissioner Yindel and her SWAT team coming down the Tunnel of Love in his direction. After leaving a parting shot on the Joker...

(Before you go all “EWWWWWW!”, that’s spit)

He then places a device inside the Joker’s jacket and limps away, radioing Robin to bring in the Batcopter. The cops arrive as Batman wanders away. One of them doesn’t hear Yindel’s warning in time...

You’d think these cops don’t remember what life was like in Gotham 10 years ago.

Batman throws some explosive pellets into the water to add to the chaos and continues wandering away. Yindel finds him, but he punches her and takes her gun before continuing his stagger. He then places an explosive charge against the wall and hides.

Let’s hope there are no civilians still alive down there!

As the cops fan out, Batman uses Yindel’s gun to...

...miss the explosive and alert the cops to his location.

Fortunately, he eventually hits it. Batman swims under the explosion and exits the Tunnel of Death Love. Robin approaches in the Batcopter, but not before Yindel and her men emerge and open fire. Upon seeing the Batcopter, the cops fire on that too.

...so Robin returns fire (don’t worry, I’m sure no one was in or near the car) Batman manages to evade the cops long enough...

...for Robin to lasso him as the Disabled Duo fly off into the night.

Later at Wayne Manor, Robin is playing nurse as it’s once again Alfred’s unfortunate duty to patch Bruce up once again as the Deputy Mayor brands Batman a menace (given all the property damage, what else could he do?)

(Thanks to Bruce Huang)

...oh shit.

The atomic explosion generates an EMP that wipes out the North American power grids, as well as cover the continent with clouds of ash, blocking out the sun.

And who do we know that derives his powers from solar energy?

Superman tries to fly above the explosion to recharge...

...but the explosion ain’t having any of it. Superman plummets to Earth. In desperation, he draws the solar energy from the nearby plants.

(First: he can do that?! second: it’s not like they were gonna survive for long without sun anyway)

Bruce explains that what detonated was a weapon known as a Coldbringer, designed to cause havoc to life but leave everything else intact. As injured as he is, Bruce knows Batman will be needed, but without power, the Batmobile is useless.

Robin is NOT a fan of riding on horseback!

In Gotham, things are about to get worse, as it’s not just things on the ground that have suddenly lost power!

The free-falling jet crashes into a building near Jim Gordon’s neighborhood, causing a fire that spreads quickly!

Elsewhere in the city...

(Thanks to DC Entertainment)

So now Batman has his own army. I’m...not sure how I feel about that.

Elsewhere, the looters are out in full force and Yindel is being hit with demands from all sides when...

You mean the city going to hell isn’t enough of one? Well, it just entered yet another circle, because the locks holding all those Mutants that were arrested after Batman’s first battle with their leader were electronic!

...and these ones weren’t around to be cowed during the rematch!

Nearby, the looters are clearing out the shelves when they run smack dab into the Mutants and it’s all out war on the streets! Then suddenly...

But it’s not just the Mutants...

After the initial shock, Batman, Robin, and the Sons of Batman come riding in to break up the riot.

Meanwhile, in Jim Gordon’s neighborhood...

(Thanks to Mister Custodian)

Yes, That’s Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, talking with Bruce. Oliver has come to help with the inevitable showdown between Bruce and Big Blue.

After all, he has a score to settle.

Later, as Carrie shows she’s getting more at ease on horseback, a red beam strikes the ground from the sky...

Bruce tells the sky “Crime Alley”

All day, Bruce prepares for the coming fight, briefing Alfred on what will need to be done on his end. Then takes some sort of pill.

Meanwhile, if any news outlet even tries to discuss what’s about to go down in Crime Alley, the FCC shuts them down!

OK, I’m not even going to try to explain what happens next (although if you’ve seen Batman v. Superman...first off you have my sympathies, but you also have a pretty good idea how the following battle will go (without “MARTHA!”, of course)), especially when YouTube can do the job for me in two parts. Thanks to Flashback FM for the clips.

And as Batman suffers a heart attack...

..Wayne Manor is consumed by the Batcave’s self destruct protocols, and in a poetic twist...

...Alfred suffers a fatal stroke.

All the news could talk about the next day is Batman’s Bruce Wayne’s death. The news mentions his fortune vanished in a puff of smoke (much like Wayne Manor)

Everyone came out to the funeral...

...including one person who some felt didn’t belong there. Gordon and Clark  share a Moment as neither is 100% certain if they were actually Bruce’s friend (I’d say he was as much as he was anyone’s friend) As Clark walks away from the grave he notices one mourner staying behind.

The two lock eyes as Carrie is too afraid to look away, then...

...as he hears a faint heartbeat from inside the casket.

Some time later...

...Bruce, Oliver, and Robin...along with the Mutants and Sons of Batman...set up a new Batcave where they can operate under the government’s radar. As long as they stay quiet, then Clark can maintain his secret.

Several years later, Miller writes the sequel, The Dark Knight Strikes Back, which does not come close to living up to the original, followed by DK3: The Master Race, which was even worse. If you really want to check them out, I’m sure they’re available in some comic shop’s discount bin.

[pleasingwords]

The Arjun Saga

Arjun was celebrating his thirtieth birthday, surrounded by family and friends, when his enemies came for him.

They all tried to defend him. Rich shouted at the dark-clad attackers as they burst into Arjun's kitchen; Natalie and her husband Piotr tried to block their paths. Divya, always the quick-witted one, picked up a pan and whalloped a man foolish enough to turn his back on her.

But against foes armed with automatic weapons and dark sorcery, all this availed little. A terrible scream echoed through space and time, a portal opened, and the dark-clad men rushed Arjun into it, still startled and holding a whisk.

One reappeared a moment later to grab the man Natalie had brained and drag him into the portal. Then they were gone, and all was silence.

-

Arjun lost track of how long his enemies spent trying to break him down. Over and over again, they demanded he surrender his occult knowledge, secrets gleaned from old tomes and older sages. Arjun gave them nothing.

"You fools," he said at last, frustrated beyond the point of common sense. "Were I a great wizard, would I still be trapped in this prison? Had I found the secret of immortality, would I fear your beatings and your guns?"

His interrogators paused to consider this. One, cradling his head tenderly in one hand, nodded in reluctant agreement.

Convinced of his uselessness, or perhaps simply trying another tactic to break Arjun's will, his enemies threw him into the common population of their prison. Lumped in with everyday criminals of every stripe, Arjun spent weeks consigned to menial labor and boredom. Eventually, though - perhaps through an oversight - Arjun was assigned to the kitchen. From there, it was only a few short hours until the whole complex was sent into a supernaturally potent food coma, and Arjun was free to go.

Where he would go, and what he would do next, Arjun was not sure.

---

Arjun was twenty-three when he first considered becoming a chef.

"You'd be good at it!", his girlfriend Natalie said. "You've got the patience, the creativity, the love of food..."

"Are you just saying that because you want me to start making you curries?" Arjun asked, poking Natalie teasingly.

"Obviously I want you to make me curries!" Natalie said, deftly twisting away from Arjun's finger. "But I'm serious, too. I know what I'm going to be doing when I graduate. Do you?"

"Of course I do," Arjun said. "I'm in my fifth year of pre-med. What do you think I'm going to do?"

Natalie sighed.

"What was the last time you felt cut-out to be a doctor?" she asked. "Or even wanted to be one?"

"I just - " Arjun said haltingly. "I just don't want people to die. Not if I can help it. Not ever."

Natalie pulled back and looked at Arjun appraisingly, as if seeing him for the first time.

"What is it?", Arjun said after a pause. "You're making me feel a little uncomfortable..."

Natalie responded very carefully. "What if I told you there was another way?"

---

Arjun was seven years old when he found the bird by the side of the road.

He'd never seen a creature like it before. He wasn't some dumb little kid, he'd seen lots of birds before, all kinds of birds - but this one was different. Its feathers shimmered with a glorious iridescence, its crest practically blazed red. And it wasn't moving.

Divya screamed when Arjun brought it home. "Ewwwwww!" she said. "Gross! Why are you bringing a dead bird into the house?"

Dead?

Something as beautiful as this, just - gone? done? Over?

It was unjust. It was wrong. It should not happen. Something like this shouldn't be allowed to just *die*.

Nothing should.

[salt-moon]

Prompt #8: Shadows

(This story is about my farm girl Ruthanne, who resides at @ruthanne-winter.  For the ease of organization for @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast, however, I will be posting this here to my main blog and simply reblogging it to Ruth’s, where it belongs.)

Rare, giant petals of filigreed ice fluttered and danced down, down, flirting with the ground below.  Their meeting was brief, however, the warmth of the earth claiming the snowflake for its own.  But any snowfall in La Noscea was an event, one of gleeful, frenzied proportions for children, and leaking through a pane of glass floated bubbling laughter and shrieks of mirth.  Pots and pans clanged and dishes smacked gently together over the quiet, popping roar of the fireplace inside.

"All right, all right, leave your mother alone, eh?"  Thaddeus came walking through the kitchen bent at the hip, his arms spread wide to sweep his three children out of the room.  "Stew doesn't make itself, kiddos!  Neither does fudge!"  His wife Meredith shook her head and chuckled softly as she worked, but the sound was drowned out by happy cheers.

"Fudge, yes!!"  Finneas, the youngest of the three and the only boy, bounced and twirled around in a circle as he somehow managed to simultaneously follow the herd toward the doorway without tripping.  "Put in nuts and marshmallows!"

Clara wrinkled her nose and swatted at her brother.  "Gross!  It's too much like that, do it plain, mama!"  She glanced back over her shoulder to see if she'd been heard, but her vision was obscured by her father's torso.

Ruthie merely giggled, but couldn't resist the urge to shout back.  "Almond butter swirls!!"  The reaction from her siblings was a long, resounding ‘ewwwwww’, and the wrinkling of noses.

"Kids!"  Tad clapped his hands and was rewarded with three cherubic faces near instantly turned upward to him.  He couldn't help but chuckle, himself - snow still made him feel a bit like a kid as well.  "The three of you, upstairs.  Wash your faces and get into your pyjamas."

"This early??" complained Clara, but her lament was soon cut off with a harsh shush from Ruthanne.

"Aye, into pyjamas," replied their father.  "And then back down the stairs, yeh?  Got a surprise for you."

That was all the incentive the three Winter children needed, and the pounding of their feet on the stairs married with overly excited yells and raucous laughter before fading upward.  

Downstairs in front of the roaring fireplace, strung with fairy lights and silken flowers, stood a blanket fort made for the storybooks.  It had been stocked with triple triad cards and plushies and board games and books.  Their mother's small portable orchestrion was nestled alongside the mountains of pillows and fluffy duvet, and Tad had managed to find his old kaleidoscope he’d been bought in Ul'dah as a child.

The three came storming back downstairs, Finn in the lead as always with Ruth and then Clara following up behind, and with the joy only a child can muster they screamed and dove headlong into the fort.  The stew, the fudge, and even their petty sibling rivalries were all forgotten about in favor of the magic only snow could bring.

"It feels like Starlight!"  Ruthanne laughed and rolled around on the pillows, bumping into both her brother and sister.

"There's games and toys and everything," agreed Clara scanning the booty and digging for more.  "And papa's kaleidoscope!"  The moment she unearthed it from a crevice, Finneas grabbed it out of her hand.

"I wanna see!"

"FINN!"

"Don't grab, Finneas, lemme see too!"

"Nuh-uh!"  The boy started to scramble out of the tent, only to be wholly blocked by his father.  A soft 'meep' of surprise escaped him, and he reevaluated his life choices as he backed into the security of the fort again.

Thaddeus squatted down on his haunches and smirked at his wild little children.  "Best behave... or else!"

Clara snorted an all-too-brave little huff of air from a girl too young to back up her sass.  "Or else what?"

From an unseen corner of the room Meredith put out the lights, plunging the room into near-complete darkness, and the three Winter babies gasped.  Her own smirk went unseen, and with the softest footsteps she wandered back to her warm, fragrant kitchen.

"Or else... you'll be..."  Thaddeus flicked on a small, hand-held lamp underneath his chin, the shadows and light playing over his features to morph them into something strange and grotesque.  "...EATEN!!!" he bellowed

Finneas and Ruthanne and Clara all clung to one another and screamed in fright, but a second later sensible Clara lunged forward to swat at her father.  "Papa!!"  The three collapsed into a pile of giggling appendages, and Tad chuckled.

"All right, scoot over.  Papa’s gonna teach you all how to make shadow puppets."

[hgfstreamchats]

Much ado about monkeys

I'm not late! Not in the slightest! hello! Hello there! Thousands? Really? So this isn't some kind of. Zoo fostering program. Nope. It's just a logical extension of the term 'furbaby' This is facial trauma waiting to happen. But... monkeys. I mean, they're not domesticated nah, nah, these little monkeys aren't the face rippers. They ARE The monkeys that can learn to steal and wield weapons tho ......This was supposed to be filler as we all filed in, but the full movie's available. It sounds like EXACTLY the kind of freakshow that's suitable for movie night! Perfect! Tomatoes will wait. They'll wait and they'll like it. You just can't compete with monkeys. I hope it tells us where they're even getting the monkeys.... well, THAT'S not a disturbing sentiment! From someone who cares whether monkeys live or die, no doubt. they're terribly cute but this entire thing is making Twilight Zone music play in my head. Right?

check DailyMotion One second. There's things to skip forward/back ten seconds Either side of the pause button in the middle whyyyy does every other line sound like it's out of the trailer of a horror movie Oh, yeah, it's very important to make sure your PET MONKEY's gender presentation is, uh, socially acceptable For their blankets and stuff Unicron forbid! Because they definitely understand and care about that But he does want an exotic animal to treat as a baby. !!! I mean. I like they're able to satisfy these feelings and are aware of their own limitations. I just. These are the types of monkeys that form monkey gangs in cities? JESUS This is healthy and fine. I mean, literally, there's an epidemic of monkey thieves banding together in some cities She laughs the laughter of the damned. ikr "to make her look more like my daughter" Oh, yeah, I can definitely see the resemblance I can't tell if self-deprecating or worrying ewwwwwwww she IS a monkey, though These monkeys uniformly look upset. they do not comprehend ANY LEVEL of this This certainly looks legitimate. What a depressing environment This is horrifying. HER SMILE IS HORRIFYING If this doesn't feature an attack at some point, I'm rioting. Why do they put them in clothes It's, definitely about making them look more like little people, right? They have fur! HEY! GUESS WHAT! MOST SMALLER MONKEYS ON:Y LIVE UP TO 25 YEARS At which point this charade comes to a merciful end! Well, one of them said her oldest kid was forty-something, so she must be sixty or so herself So it really could be for the rest of her life! could indeed--provided she lives out the maximum lifespan and nothing terrible happens "wow, I can't BELIEVE this restaurant won't let me bring my pet monkey" How dare those diners not want Ebola Reston? An animal psychic. He's eating plastic. I would say go to a vet but honestly I would not expect most vets to deal with exotics. not to mention, how the fuck do you EXPLAIN that you're raising a monkey like a human baby to a strange vet Oh, dear Unicron. ...I think the goy was actually an orang; they don't have tails Actually I have to wonder if they'd try taking them to a doctor-for-humans instead do you... do think doctors have procedure for that? I bet some do I don't like the way the narrator is encouraging this.' The narrator sounds disapproving to me so, the way this tone is set, it equally feels like it could be a horror movie or a feel good movie, so I feel there's going to be some horrible twist in the second half. Oh, yes, please. OH BOY I would give them the ticket just for that. I wonder if the camera crew had anything to do with it. Or if that was a recreation thing Right. Give it frosting. Did they take its teeth out? "six real children" yeah, the narrator knows it's a freakshow I feel like there were other ways to deal with that When Impact grows up and moves out, I know I plan to adopt a small, sentient wild animal and ruin its life. I can't help but think you're thinking about someone specific Be sure to take it to restaurants with you and tell everyone it's your kid, too! If they complain about the smell of organic waste, I'll sue. Ewwwww. I'm trying to settle on which is the most disturbing. whyyyy does she sound so unhinged Was this the last letter she sent before she changed her name and started blocking her calls? Oh, well, then! Amazing. "The plan is to load her up on sedatives and nail her feet to the cage." THIS SEEMS DANGEROUSLY UNREGULATED "it also brings her into contact with children" oh, good! know sometimes they'll take their teeth out and I'm 90% sure that's what's happened here. Jeez, that's depressing ewwwwww That's a joke, right? ...Oh god, it's not a joke But they... aren't training her for that? She's *diaper clad.* I demand a monkey attack! They were very vague about the will. Betcha it says "EVERYTHING TO THE MONKEY" They foreshadowed monkey attacks but did not deliver. Ha! This is fine. To the pit with it, I'm playing the other documentary. I've tasted blood and I *need* more. This is a beautiful train wreck and I can't look away. Oh, here we go! WELP Much better! "companion for life" Okay, phrasing Oh my god Ohhh my god. can't afford a monkey baby Haha, no red flags here! "THIS IS FINE" Somebody call CPS By the Allspark, this is amazing. I love Earth so much. Jesus. It's not just humans who pull this shit either, other animals from other species are on record who prefer to raise other species to their own. A LION of all things kept adopting gazelles. Sounds normal and fine for all parties! OH, no :< "they're basically like infants! infants that can climb and that like to bite and claw and that will freak out about your relationships, and that you will never ever be able to fully communicate with" At least these are outside. yeah, THAT'S what's bothering the monkey about this, being teased. I hope these two end up maimed. See that KINDA makes it sound like.... I mean...... His real family's back in that cage. ..... His...has to... Abandoning "Gilded Earth" was a mistake. Callus. HOrror movie violins There's a case of Hepatitis lurking somewhere in this scene. "yet" "oh, yeah, I figure he's gonna maul me someday" Gotta feel sorry for these kids That's a tiny cage, too Jesus This keeps getting worse. ... "In other words, not goddamn cheetos" The vet's face. Everything about this is awful. Really. I mean, is it really. And I don't even like monkeys. The outpost roof doesn't like monkeys. "no matter what I do to them" jesus goddamnit This is a nightmare. Jesus this almost sounds like an ABYSMAL waste of time and money! You think?! Breakdown's asking what I'm laughing at. Show him! Now he's laughing. Oh, sure, don't listen to the vet, who told you explicitly to stop feeding her people food all the time! Just PRAY. Of course you won't, Spaghetti. This is going to end with at least one dead monkey, isn't it? The vet: "okay, just don't feed her pasta" 2 hrs later: SPAGHETTI TIME And ranch! the MONKEY COMMUNITY is UNDER THREAT. what a TRAGEDY I KNOW right? "it's OUR choice to endanger our children by keeping wild animals" "We need to protect our deity given right to kill as many monkeys as we want!" Sealand. Oh, please, please do this. I beg you. Alright, I know what we're closing out on. Oh my god oh, wait, Ihave one more, lemme see if it's on youtube Hahhahahaha Ewwwwww okay,youtube search, malcolm in the middle monkey jesus first clip at the top god Her face it gets better ....... HAH! God WELL God I do believe you demanded monkey attacks, earlier This is everything I dreamed of and more. Well, this was glorious. That was a wild ride And thank you both for joining me on it! Thank YOU for hosting! how could miss that dumpster fire *how could we It was a dumpster fire to be treasured. Good night! Goodnight! good night!

[thehiccupingbanana]

Just Another Day in Paradise

PAIRING: Phan (Phil / Dan) GENRE: fluff WORD COUNT: 1,641 WARNINGS: pre-smut, mentions of sex, but no sex, cute parent!phan stuffs, mpreg  SUMMARY: songfic based off of Just Another Day in Paradise by Phil Vassar AUTHORS NOTE: I thought dan and phil having their own kids instead of adoption would be cool. Also yes this is a country song.

[READ ON AO3]

“I want to play with that!” Olly grabbed the building block set out of Jamie’s hands.

“I had it first!” Jamie stomped her foot.

“I was born first!” Olly stuck out his tongue.

“There enough toys in this house, you don’t need to fight this early in the morning.” Dan could feel a headache coming on and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Daddy! Someones at the door.” Jamie told him breaking him out of his self pity party. How did he not hear the dog barking. He walks over to the door and the phone starts to ring.

“Just ignore the phone! If it’s important they will call again.” Dan yelled, eying the kitchen table with the too many bills for comfort.

Dan opens the door to see a postal man waiting with a box and a clipboard. “Phil Howell-Lester?” he asked.

“Thats my husband...” Dan replied, signing the clipboard being thrust into his hands. Dan shut the door and turned around to see Olly and Jamie sitting at the table with cereal in front of them, and Phil putting the phone back on the hook.

“Good morning baby.” Phil smiled. “How are you feeling?” Phil walks over to the fridge and takes a swig of the orange juice right out of the bottle. The orange juice must’ve been sour because Phil made a very sour face, but it was worth it because Dan laughed harder than he thought he would that day, Phil couldn’t help smiling at his beautiful husband. Phil walked over to Dan to give him his good morning kiss, “I have an half hour to shower and get the kids to school. I’ll be right out.”

“I just have a little headache, but it will leave, and this came in for you this morning.” Dan handed Phil the box.

Phil gave him a concerned look. “Right. Thank you.” Phil walked down the hall.

“Olly. Jamie. Dirty clothes. Laundry room. Now.” the headache residing but still present. He started putting his and Phil’s clothes into the watching machine. It’s not starting – again. The only to get it to start is to kick the washing machine.

“Dan, don’t kick the washing machine.” Phil walked by buttoning up his shirt. “I will fix it.”

“Along with everything else you promised to fix?” Dan smiled.

“Yes. Kids let’s go!” Phil announced walking closer to Dan putting his hands on Dan’s waist. “I know today may not seem like it’s going well, but around us. We our living our dream. Two beautiful kids of our own, a dog that we’ve been talking about since our flat days in London. This is our paradise baby.” Phil placed at chaste kiss on Dan’s forehead.

“Let’s go Papa.” Olly grabbed Phil’s hand dragging him away from Dan, “You and Dad are going to make us late to school.

“Love you guys.” Dan yelled after Phil and their two kids trailing him. This really was a paradise.

-

“Phil, what time is it? Phil?” Dan opened his eyes. Not seeing a Phil next to he reached for his phone, 10AM. His eyes shot opened as he ran across the hall. Jamie’s not in her room and Olly’s not in his. Dan ran to the kitchen maybe Phil took them in, without letting Dan know. Seeing the box from the previous day sitting on the counter top by a piece of paper.

“The box is yours to open. Wear something nice with it. Meet me at the first restaurant we ate at in London. 6PM. We have the babysitter until 8:30 tonight. So we can eat and the kids will be in bed. I took the kids in to school earlier today, I didn’t want to wake you.” ‘It wasn’t their anniversary,’ Dan thought as he was reading. “You deserve an evening as amazing as you are.” At the bottom of the note it read Phil XOXO. Dan opens the box to see a dark blue tie with white outline hearts on it. Dan remembers why he loves Phil as much as he does.

-

“Just in case, there is an EpiPen in the cupboard. We have already set out Thor’s food. He can sleep wherever he wants.” Dan was going over everything with the babysitter – for the 5th time.

“Dad. Stop. Go meet with Papa and enjoy your date.” Olly came marching up.

“Yeah go Daddy.” Jamie echoed.

Dan looks at his watch eyes widening seeing 5:55 on his watch. “Emergency numbers are on the fridge. I gotta go.” Dan said his goodbyes and rushed to the nearest taxi. Dan knew they didn’t live far from the restaurant, but when the taxi pulled up at 6:02 seeing Phil sitting outside on a bench, he wanted to cry. Phil wanted Dan to relax and not worry about anything, but of course he had to be overbearing with his children. He remembers the day he found out he was a carrier, happened to be the day he was already a month pregnant with Olly. It was impossible to feel comfortable in his own skin, and when he told Phil, Phil showed him everything he loved about Dan with constant praise. Dan felt really happy until he kept getting sick. Phil thought it was just the flu but Dan insisted on going to the doctor. He knew something was different. As Dan was listing off everything he’s been feeling the doctor made notes.

“Mr. Howell-Lester, have you heard of a carrier?” The doctor looked up towards Dan.

“Sure. That’s when males can carry… Wait.” Dan paused.

“I don’t want to tell you anything for sure, but we’re gonna need to do a pee test to see if for sure.” The doctor pointed Dan to the private bathroom. Phil stood there in shock, the words how and what circulating through his mind, not noticing when Dan came back and the doctor was out of the room.

“So Phil, how do you feel about the fact that we possibly created life?” Dan interrupted his thoughts, “Are we ready to be parents?”

“I don’t think anyone are ever ready to be parents, Dan. But I mean-” Phil stopped when the doctor walked in.

“Mr and Mr. Howell-Lester, you’re going to be parents. You are about 5 weeks along, regular check ups are highly recommended.”  

When they got home they celebrated in a way that could’ve put another baby inside Dan if biology worked that way.

Dan was shook out of his thoughts when Phil said “Hey Dan, don’t cry.” The only thing Dan could think to do was put his head on Phil’s shoulder hiding his face in Phil’s neck. “Hey, hey. We’ll just improvise. Like when we had to tell our families about a little Howell-Lester joining the world, how did we even do that. We always have our plan B.” Dan smiled.

-

Babysitter thanked and paid. Over-sized duvet, Domino’s Pizza, Phil with glasses on, and pajama pants with hoodies. Candles lit and anime playing softly in the back ground. Dan and Phil paying more attention to each other than the TV set. After a while Dan rested his hand on Phil’s thigh, he couldn’t help it – Phil wearing glasses was attractive. “Do you wanna take this to the bedroom and make some love that is way overdue.”

He doesn’t have to ask Phil twice. Phil rushes to shove the rest of the pizza in the fridge while Dan is blowing out the candles and grabbing the duvet, both men rushing down to their bedroom like two teenagers. Phil kicks the door closed and pushes Dan down on the bed not even taking a moment to breathe before he’s tackling Dan in kisses. He starts out with playful kisses on his face then he gets down to Dan’s neck and Dan can’t help but wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist.

“You look cute in my old hoodie, but you would look even cuter with it on my floor.” Phil smiled.

Before Dan could get the word dork out of his mouth another sound was in the room. “Papa? Daddy?” Phil immediately plopped off of Dan onto the empty side of the bed. “What’s the matter sweetheart.” Phil asked concern all over his face, seeing his and Dan’s daughter cuddling her teddy bear, Dan no longer in the mood.

“I had a bad dream. Can me and teddy sleep in here tonight?” Jamie asked quietly, almost afraid.

“Jamie come here.” Dan beckoned.

When Jamie crawled inbetween them, Dan couldn’t even be mad. Phil reached over and turned off the lamp and sunk underneath the duvet. “I love you Dan. And I love you Jamie.” Phil smiled poking Jamie’s side making her laugh.

Dan reaches over to grab Phil’s hand giving it a kiss “I love you Phil.” and reaching over to Jamie’s little hand, “I love you Jamie.”

Dan thinks this isn’t how Phil imagined the night to go on, but Dan wouldn’t change it for a thing. They are happy and have anything they could ever ask for. It is his paradise.

-

Of course Jamie and Olly are in an argument over the fact that they both can not be wearing green shirts. The phone is ringing again, Thor isn’t barking. Phil has 4 bowls of with cereal pouring milk into them. Dan walks behind Phil wrapping his arms around Phil swaying them back and forth gentle enough to not spill any milk. Phil sets the milk onto the counter top next to the bowls, and turns around in Dan’s arms. Phil leans up giving Dan a kiss full of love and adoration.

“Gross Papa!” Jamie laughs.

“Ewwwwww.” Olly groans

“Hush you two.” Phil smiles giving Dan one last kiss. “Eat your cereal so we can go.”

Dan hugged into Phil more just enjoying his own personal paradise.

--