#I blame no one if they don't wanna read that
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dilf-docs · 2 hours ago
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All Roads Lead To Rome
pedro pascal x younger!reader
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summary: your boyfriend swears he isn't annoyed at your little surprise visit on the set of gladiator II; you might have to help him release his anger, one way... or another.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (BARK BARK BARK), smut, p. in v., bit of exhibition kink cause they fuck on his trailer, he swears he's mad but he just wants head, oral (m. receiving), he also uses his armor and skirt while at it bc its hot and not bc i totally want that to happen to me or smth!!!, brat taming, orgasm denial, breeding and daddy kink lowkey, i'm so down bad for him so there's fluff!!! + pedro being whipped cause that's exactly what i want in my men, the cast makes cameos bc i love them!!! use of spanish (i'm latina so don't even try me), pedro wearing a skirt tehee
word count: 3,519 words
side note: i'm about as FERAL and horny as much as one could be!!! damn u pedro, making me walk out in the middle of class and walk on foot to the nearest theather for an early gladiator II screening (bc they're cheaper and i'm a jobless broke student lmao) that mind u it's my first solo trip to the movies but it's okay!!!! nobody interrupt me on my horny dilf hours amirite I TELL U that cinema was almost empty: just me, pedro and hey there's a spot if u wanna join mescal (look at my blog banner IYKYK) so yeah!!!! enjoy this porn lovechild that steemed from it; my pedro renaissance that'd been asleep since tlou dropped AWAKES (u don't get it, i literally watched narcos just for him) i'm so fr i need this man BIBLICALLY!!
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"Lemme guess, that's her, right?"
Pedro looks up from his phone, slightly red and embarrassed. He would blame the color on the sun, and as an actor, fake his way out.
"No idea what you're talking about, Paul"
The young man chuckles.
"I mean, every break we get, you take your chair, sit the farthest and pull your phone with the most ridiculous grin I've ever seen. I'm afraid to tell you, friend, you aren't as slick as you think"
He leans back against the chair, covering his face with his large palm.
"At least I tried" he finds no point in lying anymore, "seems like I'm addicted, but if it wasn't for y/n, I wouldn't touch it"
"I'm curious, though" Paul scoots his chair closer, "who texts who? You or her?"
"Me" he answers, but then corrects himself quickly, a bit ashamed of how that makes him sound, "but it's mostly her first".
"Right" he doesn't sound convinced, rather curious and annoyed, something he's too old and tired for, "I don't believe you"
He's about to lock his phone, but the wallpaper (a selfie with you) would probably earn him another mock from Mescal.
"Too bad I don't need you to"
Before he can do so, the irish man yanks his phone away.
"Give it back!" he shouts, earning a few glances from the crew around them, "what are you, ten?"
"No, twenty-eight" they look like kids bickering. "No need to fight me, Mr. Pascal, they haven't taught us the new fighting choreography yet" he mocks, before the phone chimes; they both stop at the sound.
"What does this mean?" Paul asks. "Malta's nice" he reads out loud, "were you talking about possible future vacations? I might have to tag along"
He doesn't follow the man's joke, instead, looking at the message on your chat. Malta's nice, says the little cryptic message, and yes―it is cryptic, because you were just talking about missing each other and some other corny stuff he'd take to his grave. Not vacations, and certainly, not about the european island, which happens to also be the place were he's filming his latest movie.
"No, we weren't" he replies confused, "what do you think it means?"
"Well, obviously, you boys don't know anything" May pops up from behind, laughing.
"Were you eavesdropping?" he asks playfully, albeit, a little offended.
"No, you guys are just too loud" she replies nonchalant. "Besides, you aren't very good at hiding it, either"
"That's what I said!" Paul backs, laughing on his face.
"Stop being misterious and just drop it"
"It means" she pauses―laughing at her own little dramatic effect, "that you're getting a visit soon"
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When you met Pedro, you were working in The Last Of Us. Nothing fancy, just part of the technical cast of the show: helping with the filming and stuff.
During those months, it was easy to find yourself falling for the main star (alongside Bella Ramsey), especially when you spent months behind a camera, capturing all of his perfect features; learning them by memory until you could draw them without seeing his face.
Yes, you had fallen for the older man, because it was as natural as breathing; easy as being alive―the fall so gentle and so easy, it was hard to know when the feelings started. You just woke up one day, feeling different.
You liked to act up―always had what you wanted, and times had changed (so it's not like he had to ask first): why not? Which is why during your last day of shooting you took some liquid courage on your veins and went up his way. It was at a little gathering the crew you've grown to call family organized, while wearing your favorite and tightest dress, that you approached him.
It surprised you that he even recognized you, but that's who he was: warm, welcoming and caring.
To augment the surprise, turns out he had eyed you already, but was too shy to do anything. Yes, the worlds most famous Chilean man. It did stroke your ego, and maybe that's why you feel like most of the time, you've got the upper hand on your relationship, despite the years in between.
Still, you feel like the last message you just sent was a bit too blunt. Now you sit at the tiny airport, pondering your next move.
Everyone around you looks straight out of a picture perfect summer edition magazine.
You know your boyfriend isn't exactly the type to scold or get mad―despite his strong figure, but going against the only thing he asked you might test him. Which is why you feel nervous, despite everyone's happiness around you.
And your theory is proven exactly right when you arrive impromptu at the Gladiator II set: making heads turn and guards almost kick you out, thinking you're a fan.
"You don't get it!" you protest, "he's my boyfriend".
"Sure", they laugh on your face. "you're not the first to say that".
"She's not lying" oh, how you love that gravely voice. But not today: not when he sounds like a parent scolding a naive child. Not when his eyes bore into you, slightly irritated.
So now he's dragging you among the set, right to were his trailer is.
"Aren't you going to introduce me?" you ask, puffing your cheeks out in annoyance. He keeps dragging you by the arm, without sparing a glance in your way. Who does he think he is? "I wanted to tell Paul he made me cry―twice. You know I don't play about Normal People and Aftersun"
"But you do seem to play about my orders" he grunts out, opening the door to his trailer. The sunlight reflects against the white, slightly bothering your eyes with its shine, contrary to your boyfriend's gloomy behaviour.
"Are you being serious right now? You're not my dad to scold me. I just wanted to surprise you" you stand still, refusing to get inside. Pedro knows your character tends to be stubborn, and thought he finds it hot to reel you up sometimes, there are other times where he can't just stand that juvenile spirit of rage you tend to have when things don't go the way you want them to. "What's gotten into you?"
"I could ask you the same" he mocks. "Get inside. Now"
"Rude" you scoff, but obey regardless, and he breathes out relieved you didn't do a scene like last time; he still can't show his face on that restaurant to this day.
"I thought you'd be happy to see me" you say a tad bit dissapointed, and Pascal feels the pissed off feelings clouding his brain start to dissipate.
"I do, amor" he sighs, "just hate to see you do things I tell you not to; waltzing in here like you own the place".
You don't see the mistake, though. What's wrong with wanting to do a little surprise? It's not like you were a stalker or something; just a very clingy girlfriend who happens to miss her boyfriend.
"So, you're not mad?" you venture, "tell me you're not embarrassed"
He looks at you, the fondness of his gaze betraying him.
"I'm not the one wearing a skirt while trying to sound intimidating" you joke while caressing the crook of his nose, knowing you always get on his good side. Being mad isn't something that lasts, "if anyone should be embarrassed, that's you"
"Are you saying I shouldn't wear one because I'm a man?" your boyfriend looks offended, "Have you forgotten the movie I'm starring in? People feared the skirt-wearing Roman army"
"Well, I'm not intimidated" you stand defiant, and something dark tints his brown eyes. You can feel the excitement begin pooling in your stomach.
"You're not?" he grips your wrists and yanks you to him, then holds your chin, tilting your head between his calloused fingers. "Well, cariño, you should be"
Your body slams against one of the trailers walls, and you have to suppress a whine.
"You must be punished for what you did today"
You give him a doe-eye look, pretending to be all innocent, as if you weren't enjoying the punishment.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I've been a good girl"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about" he clicks his tongue, "don't play dumb with me"
"I just came to visit you" you murmur, voice husky against his ear. He grunts, and with the proximity, his hard-on rasps against your bare legs, only partly covered by the flowy summer dress you're wearing, "is that so bad?"
"It is. Has sido mal, cariño" his hand travels down under your dress, carresing with his large palm the silhoutte of your ass. The rings on his fingers create a shock, cold metal against your warm sun-bathed skin. "Naughty girl"
"I promise I'll be good, papi" you purr, using that honeyed voice of yours that makes it hard: hard to say no and hard between his pants.
Pedro sits on a small couch he has inside the trailer, guiding you with his hand enveloped around yours, motioning you to follow with a care so soft, you'd doubt he's about to do to you what he is about to do to you. He pulls you across his lap, smiling (God, you love his smile) as your stomach presses against his tights.
"Don't worry" he breathes low, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll make you a good girl. Tell me, are you?"
You swallow, "I am"
He moves the panties easily to the side, rubbing your pussy a little. He then spanks it softly, making you mewl at the sting.
Pedro continues to trace over it, "Are you sure about that?"
"N-no" you shiver in delight, resolve dissolving as quick as it came. "I'm a naughty"
"Good; it's good you know" he murmurs, "Dilo otra vez"
"I'm a naughty girl"
He lifts your head by your hair. "Tell me what you did"
"Disobeyed your orders, coming to the set" you whisper. He lets go of your hair, his hands traveling down again, slowly teasingly rubbing your pussy while he humms.
"You were a little brat, amor"
You whimpered and mewled in delight. "I was a very naughty brat"
He pushed his fingers inside you, plunging his fingers into your pussy.
"Look at you. You're soaking wet" he pumped his fingers in you, making you moan, "Is that why you came to see me? Couldn't wait any longer for daddy to be inside of you?"
You bucked a little, making him stop. He drags his fingers out, causing you to beg for him to go back.
"Answer my question you greedy thing" He leaned closer to your ear. "Did you need my cock this much?"
You whimper, "I do! Missed you so much"
He pushed his fingers back into you, provoking a moan out of you.
"You're always so needy for me" your core tenses, making you shiver. "How badly do you need me? Tell me"
You whimpered "Badly, papi"
"Say it" his face contorts in satisfaction at your pathethic display; crying little mess, "Who's cock, fingers and mouth make you feel good?"
You can't think at this point, your brain fuzzy and pussy hot, leaking. You kiss his lips, moaning against them, "you!"
"Just me, yes? Nobody else can make you feel this good?"
"No one!"
You involuntarily roll your hips to aid you in pleasure, yet Pedro stops you just before you can reach your orgasm.
"Little brat." he tuts, making you groan. "Did you think I'd let you? You were naughty today, baby"
You huff in annoyance, used to having your way.
"That's your punishment"
"But I'll behave" you mewl against his ear, "I promise"
“Good, because I'm planning on fucking your brains out” his hot breathe whispers in your ear seductively, trying his best not to slur the words at the drunken haze that your arousal provokes in him, "but you have to help me first"
You get on your knees, looking at the garment he's wearing. The skirt and general costume makes this all the more hot, mouth watering at the sight. You raise the skirt, glancing at the briefs; just seeing his dick strained against the fabric makes you wet in anticipation.
He sees the pleasure bore into your orbs, and before you do any dirty idea of yours, he's already warning:
"You have to take this off, what if we-"
"Alright" you cut him off, "but the skirt stays"
"Sigue, pues" he growls, voice low yet demanding, following you in your little game.
As you pull the briefs down, his erection springs out enthusiastically, slapping up against his lower abdomen. You shifted your gaze up to meet his, his eyelids heavy and his proud smirk driving you absolutely wild.
"That's right" he chokes out, "show me how much you missed it"
You give him a proud lick, and Pedro hisses at the moment his preseminal fluid goes in between your hungry lips.
Your tongue darts to the head of his cock, running over it several times before bobbing your head down, taking most of him in your mouth. He keeps praising as you pump the base of his cock with your hand. Your head bobs, yet you peek up to hear Pascal's little sounds and facial expression, a motivation so intimate in the way his brows furrow and eyes roll, mouth agape at your movements while his lip suck on those pretty lips of his. It makes you keep going. With every bob you take as much of him in your mouth as you can, before slowly moving your way back up to the tip, increasing your suction the closer to his head you got. A throaty moan escapes the man above you when you now focus on the final lick, making him closer to coming, all while maintaining eye contact the entire way through.
"Don't do that" he rasps, yanking you by the hair again, as of punishment, but he knows you enjoy it, "you promised you'd be good"
You can't answer, so instead, you reach the head of his cock again, and now his eyes roll back, mumbling profanities that sound like heaven.
"Do you want them to hear us, brat? Qué necia eres" he manages to chastise while moaning.
You feel his dick stuck in your throat, and the way he's about to come; you think that after some time dating, you know him well enough.
You're about to leave with your mouth when he stops you.
"No" your eyes open in shock, "what? Did you think your punishment is over?" Pedro laughs, "don't look at me like that. Like you have never done it before"
He keeps you in place by the hair, the rings prickling against your scalp. You feel his muscles tense up, and before you can think anything else thick and hot shots of cum invade your mouth, making it sticky and warm.
"Don't pretend you don't like it" his voice goes dark, husky. "Swallow it all. Te han enseñado a no desperdiciar nada, ¿verdad? Show me your good manners, then"
When you pull out, your throat feels raspy.
"You gotta reward me" you cough out.
"I promised, didn't I?" his fingers trace your face delicately, with adoration.
"It's all about duty, General Acacius" you purr, and the dick springs out again. Hard.
"Princess..." he warns.
"For the glory of Rome" you joke and laugh, then cough, as your throat is still sore.
"Have you been reading my script?" as you avoid to answer, he just chuckles, "ay, nena"
"C'mere" he motions, and you sit on his lap again. Pedro lifts your dress, exploring the curve of your ass. There's anticipation as he hooks his finger around the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to access your core.
"Fuck" you squirm at his touch, grinding your freed cunt against his hard cock. He grabs you by the hip, adjusting you right on his lap.
"You taste so good" he kisses down your throat, ending at the chest were your tits peak.
"Want them?" you offer, pulling your dress down. He kisses them, gently nipping at your perked up nipples.
A wave of pleasure courses through you, and with whines and moans, you show how desperate you are, the hunger making the meal taste better. After all those weeks missing him, you just want him to fuck you senseless.
His lips are rosy and swollen against yours, mouths clashing; starved of the yearned contact. Truth is, no matter how much you know how to touch yourself, it'll never be the same as having his hard cock tear through your tight folds.
Pedro easily aligns his leaking cock with your uncovered pussy, all while mantaining the kiss. He pushes down on you, your dripping cunt taking all of his rock-hard cock, fingers holding onto the soft brown grey sprinkled locs.
"Pedro" you cry out his name, full of ecstasy as the stretch burns so sweetly. His low grunts only fuel your desire.
You trace with your eyes his body, now bare without the upper part of the costume: his pecs and abs, flexing with every pump. With now free hands, your fingers travel to softly caress his stomach, even if your tits are jiggling and the pace frenetic.
"I miss your tummy" you pout.
"I miss eating too" he whispers out, tiredly. He's reminded of his old age, forgetting about it as soon as you two kiss, because you bring out a stamina he thinks he doesn't have anymore; almost animalistic. His bones creak and adding the tiring filming day under the hot sun, he feels his body start to give up, the orgams closer and closer.
"No matter how you look" you clash your lips onto his, the adoration translating through the smile you press against, a trail of saliva that symbolizes how interwined you are, "you look so fucking good"
He blushes, feeling like a stupid school boy with a crush. What did he even do to deserve you? Never thought a pretty young wild thing like you would even spare a glance on his way, but now you're taking all of his cock inside with such greed yet loom into his eyes with a love he's only dreamed of.
You're real, and his.
As soon as those words leave your mouth your orgasm spills over him, some of it dripping onto the skirt, making him curse. You can't stop, still meeting his thrusts halfway, despite your trembling body after reaching your high.
"Mierda" he groans against your mouth,
You feel yourself collapsing on top of him, the weight of the jet lag catching up.
"Getting tired, baby?" he coos. "Shit, and I thought I was old"
"You are" you reply back; you can never not have the last word. And he lets you, because, God, doesn't he love you? He pretends to look offended by it, but the way your eyes shine tell him you didn't mean it that way. "You and your white hairs" tracing over his moustache, a soft hand combing through his locks, "These wrinkles... don't you know how much I love them? how much I love you?"
"And you have no idea how much I love you" he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling it coming through. "God, wanna make you mine. Sólo mía" his pace slows. It's coming, and yes, you will take it all. "Wanna make you a baby, mami. Want you to take it all like the good girl you are"
When he comes, filling you with burning hot cum until you feel like you might burst, you're numb. But there's a feeling so content that pools warmth in your chest, that you can't say anything else, resting your head against his bare chest, both covered in sticky sweat.
"No sé cómo voy a explicar esto" he speaks through ragged breathes, and you can only smirk, "a squirted and cummed roman skirt".
"That isn't my problem" he scoffs, and you feel your head rise against the movement, earning a laugh out of you, "I'm not part of the movie"
"You'd sure think so, with the way you walked in here"
You roll your eyes, face hidden against his chest, "can you let that go?"
"You're right" he pulls you closer to him, hand enveloping you behind your bare back. The quiet doesn't bother you as you lie closer to his chest, his heartbeat the only thing you need to be at peace, "I think punishment time is over. Think you've learned your lesson"
"Then, how about we go out? I've heard Malta's beaches are pretty"
"Relájate, cariño. Seems you've gotten your energy back" he quips, then kisses your forehead. "We need to wait for everyone to get out"
"That embarrased you are of me?" you joke.
"No" he can already imagine his fellow cast members making fun of him, starting with Paul and Joseph when they see you and Connie who she totally notices the fun sticky stains on the costume, "but embarrased of the explanation I'll have to give"
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pompadorbz · 11 hours ago
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I've been kinda on this quest to find a good way to tastefully retcon the brighton biter's character from qsmp but that's kinda a difficult challenge when he's very integral to another character's arc (Lullah). I've thought about making a placeholder character since with how little he logged on it wouldn't be hard (Might make him faceless, charlie brown parent style), but for now I'm just gonna refer to him as "W". *Characters not CCS, if that couldn't be more obvious, but i'll leave the rest of this under a read more if you don't wanna read about this guy for even a second! I don't blame you.
I bravely like the bravest Guppy ever went back and watched the stream where him and Phil argue after his return, and in my mind the conversation where the two originally made up went a lot differently.
W choosing to leave the mission is, be it subconsciously or not, a decision more so made out of a desire for moral superiority over Phil than it is for answers, because truly, him choosing absence over aiding others being brought up is one of the biggest holes Phil could have punched in his ego, and while he likes Phil as a friend, he doesn't like to imagine him as having done more for Lullah than him. It results in an act of inaction only done out of a desire to avoid responsibility while still seeming present on a surface level, and Phil's had enough of that.
In my kinda mental rewrite, Phil was done with his absence and gave him an ultimatum; either he can stay here on the island and at least temporarily stop touring to give Lullah the father she deserves, or he can go back with his band that's supporting the island's biggest tormentor financially, and never show his face around here again.
Phil is fully and wholeheartedly expecting him to do the former, because it is a choice and sacrifice so obvious that he knows any other person here would choose it in a heartbeat, but instead- and to Phil's disappointment, W gets cold feet, opting to avoid commitment for one final time.
When Lullah is finally back on the island, Phil tries not to tell her immediately, because he sincerely doesn't know how to even approach something like that. In a way, he becomes avoidant too, but for more selfless reasons in contrast. He's still trying to figure out how to let her down easy.
But unfortunately in the time she's been gone, Phil's said a lot about this situation to the other island residents. He's made jokes about it to cope and he's vented about it to his more trusted friends, so i think by the time Lullah and Phil have their big conversation (after her and Chayanne fight) where she opens up about her feelings, Lullah is already somewhat aware of what really happened with W, or at the bare minimum she has her suspicions and has been keeping quiet.
Even then, Phil can't fully bring himself to tell her that W effectively abandoned her, and so for better or for worse, Lullah seeks out answers on her own, and that's what leads her to finally stand up for her own individuality and stop living in W's shadow.
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zeynyukine3011 · 1 day ago
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Hey what do you think about Flatline and Damian
Hiiii thank you for the ask <3
Hmmm, my feelings for Flatline is a bit complicated. But first I just wanna say I love her design. It's one of the coolest character designs I've ever seen.
I'll be honest, I hated her when I first read Robin (2021). But wait, read till the end.
My reasons were:
1) She was a very powerful character who killed Damian (my FAVOURITE character) 😭
2) When they stood side by side, other characters would start saying things like "ohh love birds" etc. I hate it when writers do that. Another example is Fullmetal Alchemist. Characters would say things to Edward like "Oh your girlfriend's coming to Central" or something, when they clearly are not dating. It's just an automatic NO for me when the narrative do that.
3) The writer nerfed Damian to show off his OC(s).
4) She was introduced to be a love interest and I don't usually like characters who are just there to be love interests.
5) She betrayed Damian and it wasn't addressed properly. Even after they started their relationship.
Then later she betrayed Damian again in B&R(2023), so...
6) They got into a relationship too quickly for my taste. I prefer ships to have a long period of friendship first.
And I was just like " My son is too young nooo😭😭😭"
I still wish Damian got to grow up more without having a love interest. Idk if it's just me but 14 is too young to make lovers in my opinion ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠`⁠)⁠┌
When Flatline returned in Batman and Robin (2023), I became more furious at Flatline because she betrayed Damian again and it was mostly brushed aside and how dare she!!!!
But then I stopped myself. I started thinking, what would I do if I were in her shoes? I have an elder sister who I love more than anything, I thought I would do everything to protect her, just like how Flatline did. She tried to protect her sister even if that meant doing some bad things. I didn't blame her for doing that anymore. Because I understood her.
My only criticism toward writer is that they should've made Damian and Nika talk more about their relationship. Talk about more Nika's betrayal and their feelings overall. It was just done in 2-3 panels and never addressed again.
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But again, I understand her and don't blame her. I'm just bitter on behalf of Damian.
When the comic progressed and when I saw more and more Flatline, I warmed up to her more. And what made me get rid of my dislike and bias was these pages.
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With these pages, we saw how Nika cared about Damian. And that's really what matters to me. Whether she cares and loves Damian or not.
When I saw how Nika hugged Damian and how she talked about him when he wasn't near, how she said Damian needed to be protected... Yeah, she really loves Damian and Damian really loves Nika. That's what I want. I don't want Damian to have a toxic relationship with only betrayel, uncertainty and doubt. I want him to love and be loved. So, I'm happy DC gave him a relationship like that.
And I think Flatline's character developed over time. She warmed up to Damian and loved him more and more. I saw someone on Twitter say "Damian fell first but Nika fell harder" and I think that really describes them very well. Nika needed time.
I hope we get to see Flatline and I hope DC explore her character and her relationship with Damian more. And I just pray that their relationship doesn't get ruined, toxic, bad or anything like that. I hope they get to be happy forever.
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astro-is-a-bigot · 2 days ago
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Hi! I assume this post is about us but reading back through our post (had to do this because of amnesia and wanting to recall exactly what I'd typed) and I realised that I had made a complete misstep in anger, encouraging "flooding his inbox and notifications with hatred" which is so non-specific and not helped by my follow-up statements making it seem as if I would be okay harassing Astro on the same level or even worse than what he is done. This is such a big mistake I will likely private that post - but I'm currently thinking about how I can do that without making it look like I'm erasing those actions.
Note that the following explanation doesn't excuse that, but I will use this to articulate my stance properly.
Like firstly... I completely forgot that death threats were a thing someone might send to Astro. Straight up. I don't know why. I was more thinking along the lines of, "you suck!!" or "get off the site!!" which are kind of mean but definitely nothing along the lines of wishing Astro death. If I had wanted that I would be out here advocating for doxxing-- Which is absolutely not what I want!! As I've been trying to articulate in my follow up posts, I want him to be deplatformed - specifically from Tumblr! Xe can go exist on Reddit for all I care, it's whatever.
And my follow up being, "wouldn't this be wishing violence on Astro?" was so brushed off in my response that, again, it did not come across well. But when it comes to harassment, there's often people who will try to make out like the actions of people banning someone and getting kind of mean towards them is on the same level as the harasser themselves - which completely ignores the context.
The reason sending a bigoted hate towards someone is not necessarily equivalent to sending hate judging someone's morals is - as I believe I've tried to articulate - the difference between upholding bigotry and dismantling it. So while there are lines you don't want to cross, I can't say I'm going to be sympathetic to a bigot if they get sent some mean messages. And this point can easily become frustrating to explain when in one breath people will state to victims "just block the harasser", and yet someone sending a mean message to the harasser themselves results in the critique "you shouldn't be doing that!!" I address this in this post with the following:
[Harassers] also like to define what is "being a good person" because they're betting on you holding yourself to that. They count on your good graces to make you complacent because they tell you, "you wouldn't want to stoop down to our level, would you?" But you know what happens when you don't let the shitty person define for you what being moral is? You get shit done.
In general, I also made the assumption that others would have the same restraint as what I do (I personally have Astro blocked and would never catch myself getting in a back and forth with xem), but that's not what most others do. They don't leave an ask stating, "get off the site" and proceed to block Astro, report him, etc - he insults the other to bait them into starting a reblog chain, and they often fall for it. That is absolutely the kind of behaviour that feeds a troll. (Which I wanna note I still blame Astro for that because I'm not here to victim blame people. If someone gets emotional after being misgendered and sexually harassed, I don't see it as being "on them" for being baited. Especially since it's never okay to sexually harass someone, even if they were "asking for it". Ew.)
So that's a very long explanation of everything, but I hope it clarifies my views. And if you need further elaboration I will provide it. But I'm very sorry to everyone for being so aggressive and completely blundering my initial posts. I hope that doesn't stop others from seeing my point and helping to kick Astro off the site because, it must be said, the one thing that absolutely stops harassers from engaging with their behaviour is when you take away the means to do it...
So yes, deplatforming is very practical behaviour that does not feed the trolls! And if that requires making documents or blogs archiving bad behaviour and calling for action, that is not (contrary to how it appears) "feeding" the behaviour. It is, in fact, necessary to communicate and coordinate as a community to counteract harassment.
friendly reminder that no, death threats are not okay. no, not even to someone that "deserves it". who the fuck are you to determine that. you are not doing some Good Thing even if you see them as a Bad Person. that's a real slippery slope. it's not gonna make them want to change, either, bc why would you change for someone who's saying you should die. this is also about telling people to kill themselves btw. and don't try to justify it bc there's genuinely no way to that doesn't circle back to "it's okay when i do it" and/or "it was justified bc they're Bad™". hope this helps. 👍🏾
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abysskeeper · 8 months ago
Note
Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid. For whoever catches your fancy!
(¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ...sorry)
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“And…there,” Nox mumbled to herself as she plunged the bottom of her staff into the damp ground.
She took a step back from the last of her work and glanced around to appraise the scene she had spent crafting in the last fifteen or so minutes. Mourning Frost stood straight up like a beacon in the darkness of the lands, illuminated by the magic of her Light cantrip while cold mist bellowed off of it from its enchantments. Behind her, part of the river remained frozen from a well-placed Cone of Cold spell and glowed mystically with the floating orbs from the Dancing Lights she casted in the area. It was as good as she was going to get given her surroundings. All in all, she was satisfied, and now all she had to do was move the modified Sleet Storm over here and everything would be set to go.
Everything but her nerves, at least.
Nox sighed and dusted her hands on her robes, taking a quiet moment to gather herself before embarking back up from the riverbank and into the central courtyard of the Last Light Inn. The courtyard itself looked exactly like the winter wonderland she was attempting to create down by the river, which was no surprise. The first, magical storm she conjured was still going, thick snowflakes still gently falling from the clouds above. The light from Isobel’s shield around the inn glinted off the snow and ice on the ground, making the whole area glitter, and there was a stillness in the air that she had only ever felt in the throes of winter’s weather.
The scene was far more befitting the lands closer to the Dale than the wilting town struggling under Shar’s shadows, but then, that was the entire point. She had wanted to create one night to celebrate their small victories and set everything else aside for a few hours.
There were significantly more celebrants indulging in the magical snow when she slipped away, though. In the time it took for her to go down and back, it seemed like most everyone had dispersed to tend to the rest of their nightly duties before going to bed. Only a few remained meandering about in the courtyard, and it took her a moment before she zeroed in on her sister standing off to the side, leaning against one of the makeshift barricades as she surveyed the area.
“Hey,” Nox greeted as she beelined for the paladin. “Are we alright up here?”
Lux hummed in thought for a moment, blue eyes trailing over the courtyard before she finally nodded. “I think so. Alfira and Lakrissa shepherded the kids to bed with no complaints, so that alone is a win,” she reported.
Nox smiled, managing to tire the kids out enough that there was no backtalk was a win.
“Bex and Danis, as well as some of the Harpers, helped clean up some of the smaller things and have gone off to bed. And Rolan actually wanted to speak with you,” Lux added. She shrugged and glanced at her, answering before Nox could ask, “Don’t know about what, Cal and Lia managed to convince him to go to bed too before you got back.”
“Probably for the best,” Nox muttered. Rolan wasn’t the most contentious relationship she’d ever had with a fellow wizard; in comparison to some he was downright friendly, but after their last encounter with him drunk on both the ale and his sorrows, she wasn’t particularly looking to have another conversation with him quite so soon.
“Probably,” Lux agreed. “Otherwise, everything else is back to normal. Jaheira’s barking orders at the Harpers again to get them back to work. Those not on the nightshift are settling in for the night like everyone else.”
“Not surprising,” Nox chuckled. They hadn’t known the High Harper for long, but it didn’t take any time at all to realize the woman was a hardass. She cared, that much was obvious too, but it was hidden behind three layers of steel. “But…good.”
Content with what her sister told her, Nox nodded to herself and raised her hand. With a wave, she felt the threads of the Weave relax between her fingers. In turn, the snow stopped falling from the sky and, a moment later, what was left coating the ground started to melt away.
Her gaze slipped from the dissipating storm and her eyes fell shut. Her attention turned towards the magic resonating from Mourning Frost, still standing some hundred or so meters away where she left it stuck in the ground. Her hand flicked, the Weave answering her movement by coalescing into a misty-white orb of concentrated magic resting in her palm. “Impero tibi,” Nox whispered, and the orb flickered and burst as she casted another, gentle storm over her staff.
She inhaled through her nose and opened her eyes, turning her focus back to Lux. Her sister was staring back at her curiously and biting the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning. Nox resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “If there’s nothing else, then…?” she asked instead.
“There’s nothing else,” Lux confirmed as her smile broke containment. “Go on, go be gross with your wizard,” she said with a shooing motion.
Nox did roll her eyes at that. “I’m not going to be gross with him,” she scowled. That definitely wasn’t the point of what she was trying to do, but Lux had been misconstruing her intentions ever since she brought the idea up with her. “And he’s definitely not ‘my wizard,’” she huffed.
“Sure, sure,” Lux agreed, definitely more in an effort of appeasement than genuine agreement. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who believes that, though.” Without waiting for a reply, she pushed off the barricade and started back for the main building of the inn.
“I…”
Nox cut herself off and followed after her sister, uncertain of how to refute that. It was an argument she was growing tired of having, and she’d resigned to the fact she couldn’t sway what other people believed about her and Gale’s relationship. She also couldn’t deny the small tingle the thought sent through her chest, the kind that made her happier than she cared to admit to, and the kind she would never give Lux the satisfaction of knowing she had.
“That’s not the point,” she said finally.
“I know,” Lux shrugged, “But it’s fun to rile you up.”
Nox responded the only way she knew how and stuck her tongue out at her sister; Lux just grinned back at her and shoved her shoulder. “Besides,” Lux added after a moment, “I do hope you succeed. I’d really like for Gale to take a step back from his whole ‘blowing himself up’ plan too. We all would.”
Right.
That wasn’t quite the goal she was trying to achieve tonight either, but it was a step in the process. Ever since they had encountered Elminster and he charged Gale with Mystra’s orders to end the Absolute, Nox had been driving herself to near insanity while trying to dissuade him from that path. She outright refused to believe the only way they could succeed was by sacrificing one of their own; it was utterly cruel and such a waste of a brilliant mind and even more brilliant man and she…well, she wasn’t focusing on how upsetting it was to her. Her feelings on it didn’t matter, Gale’s did.
Unfortunately, Gale was more than willing to go along with his marching orders. Not without remorse, the way his voice wavered whenever he spoke about the possibility and the way he grew increasingly frustrated with her every time she broached the subject were more than enough proof to her that he didn’t want to die, but he was still moving forward as if it was the best plan they had. She was beginning to run out of time, and as they stepped closer and closer to the answers they sought, she was growing increasingly frantic with her measures. Regrettably, she was also running out of options, the only two left she could think of were either outright forbidding him from blowing himself up or begging him not to—both things she was fully willing to do, but she was doubtful of their efficacy.
After all, how could her words rival those of a Goddess?
But that wasn’t the point. Before she could let herself spiral any further, Nox cut that line of thought off. Tonight was not about another attempt to dissuade Gale from sacrificing himself, at least not directly. She didn’t want to even think about the Orb or Mystra or Ketheric Thorm or the worms in their brains. Tonight was a break they all desperately needed from the tragedies surrounding them, and she refused to let her mood sour. Just for tonight, she wanted to be content.
“Yeah, I hope so too,” Nox mumbled finally, following after Lux as they entered the inn proper.
She took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the change in lighting before looking around. Most of their companions had moved back into the first floor of the inn after the festivities outside had concluded. Lae’zel had her sword in her lap and looked prepared to go out to Dammon’s setup to resharpen her blade. Wyll and Astarion sat adjacent to the bar, sharing a bottle of wine and discussing something or other, while Karlach and Shadwoheart started up a passing conversation with two Harpers in between their shifts. Halsin and Jaheira were nowhere to be seen, but that was hardly a surprise—the former had barely left Thaniel’s side since they had rescued the fey child, and the latter was too busy managing her Harpers to make too many appearances.
Which just left the man she was actually looking for.
Her gaze settled on Gale sitting in a char in the back corner of the main room. Predictably, he had a book in hand and a full goblet of wine sitting on the small table next to him. Whatever he had found to read interested him greatly, and Nox stopped to simply admire the way he studied the book, his brows knit in concentration, dark brown eyes flitting across the pages as they ravenously consumed every word, and his free hand drumming an insouciant rhythm on the arm of the chair. The warm light of the candles hanging around the main room glinted off his soft brown hair—illuminating the lighter strands and a few streaks of gray—and cast shadows across his form near perfectly.
Not for the first time, she was forced to acknowledge he was a strikingly handsome man. However, for the first time, she couldn’t help but consider how gods damned unfair it was that Gale was, by all accounts, the picturesque vision almost every one of her female peers dreamed would be their future husband.
Honestly, she never really understood the appeal in her youth. Why dream of a husband when they all still had so much potential in their fingertips? It likely helped that she never had cause to fantasize either; she did not have any suitors when she was younger and never lamented over that fact, it gave her far more time to endeavor in her studies. Now though, having it all laid out in front of her, and after enduring everything she and Gale had already been through and everything they still could go through together…she was found herself much more amicable to the prospect.
���Some-body’s smit-ten!”
Immediately pulled from her thoughts, Nox jumped when her sister leaned over and sang in her ear. “I am not,” she hissed as she stepped back from Lux’s smirking face. Nox hadn’t even realized she was smiling until she felt her lips pull into a frown. “I am just…considering,” she insisted and subconsciously smoothed down her robes. “He looks…content. I don’t want to bother him if he’s settled in for the evening.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, at least.
“You, of all people, are hardly a bother to him,” Lux rolled her eyes. “Besides, we all just came in from your little snow party anyways, I doubt he’s ‘settled in’. And it’s better to interrupt him now before he’s really into whatever it is he’s reading.”
There was truth to her words, though Nox knew her twin well enough to catch what she was really saying. Lux wasn’t going to let her back out of her plan, which she had no intention of doing, never mind the way she tugged at her sleeves or felt a sharp churning in her gut at the mere thought of walking over to him and asking him to accompany her. What she intended for the evening was hardly that big of a deal, she just desperately wanted it to go well.
“Yeah…yeah, I know. You’re right,” Nox said and heaved a breath. She looked over to Lux with a shaky smile. “Wish me luck?”
“You don’t need luck, Noxy. You got this,” Lux smiled and bumped her hip. “You’ll be fine, so go,” she stressed and nudged her towards the back of the room. “I won’t wait up!” she added over her shoulder before sauntering towards Astarion and Wyll.
“Ugh,” Nox muttered under her breath, fully aware Lux didn’t hear her. Granted, she also knew Lux didn’t need to hear her to know that was her exact response; in the same way she didn’t need to hear Lux chuckling all the way to the bar for her to know that’s exactly what her sister did.
Everything else she said was correct though, Nox didn’t need luck. She was an incredibly skilled wizard with an incredibly detailed plan she had been mapping out during her downtime for the past several days. That aside, even if it weren’t the case, she was still making this attempt with the utmost sincerity, and that was all anyone could really ask for. There was nothing else she could do to ensure it went properly, aside from actually starting it and asking him to join her, which was—naturally—the most difficult part.
Blowing out one more, long breath to still her rattling nerves, she resolved herself and turned to make her way over to Gale.
As she approached, his brown eyes flickered up at her from the book, as one does when they notice movement in their periphery, before returning back to the pages in front of him. She stopped before him and watched as the realization registered in his brain of who was standing in front of him. His eyes lit up and he snapped the book shut.
“Oh, Nox! Hello,” Gale greeted cheerily. He set the book in his lap and smiled up at her. “After your celebration outside, I figured you would retire for the evening.”
“It’s tempting, believe me,” Nox answered with a nervous chuckle.
She could feel the tendrils of exhaustion starting to creep into the edges of her mind—serving more as a reminder she was still not as powerful as she once was rather than as a sign she should stop—but she was choosing to ignore them. She knew she was overexerting herself slightly, but she had already decided it was worth it. The smiles from the refugees and the Harpers were enough alone, and hopefully this would be well worth it as well.
“But…the night isn’t over for me quite yet,” she continued. Realizing that sounded a little more ominous than she intended, she wrung her hands and hastily added, “Well…for us…I guess. I was hoping to talk with you, actually. Do…do you have a moment?”
“Of course. Anything for you,” Gale agreed, and she chose not to ruminate on how easily he said it—as if the thought was second nature. He quickly leafed through the book to mark the page he was on before closing it once more and setting it on the side table next to his wine. “What can I do for you?” he asked, warm brown eyes now solely focused on her.
Gods, how had she not noticed this before? Maybe Lux was right. The only things Nox had ever witnessed him focus on as intently as her right now were his spells on the battlefield, whatever book was lucky enough to capture his complete interest, and his own research and studies. Not that he wasn’t invested in whatever he was doing at any given time, but this was…different. It was more intense, more singularly driven than he usually was, as if the rest of the world simply melted away for him. The inn could spontaneously combust right now, and she wasn’t fully convinced Gale would notice.
You wouldn’t either. Focus, Nox.
“Indulge me?” she asked in return. She pointed behind her towards the inn’s front door and added with a sheepish smile, “I…would appreciate some privacy.”
Gale’s brow rose as his gaze shifted from her towards the door behind her, and then back again. The longer he stared, the hotter she could feel the flames of embarrassment licking at the tips of her ears as she was forced to consider what she just said. She couldn’t really blame him for his silent questioning, that wasn’t the best way to ask and she knew it, but he had been through this with her enough by now to know that any potential innuendo or suggestion she just made wasn’t her intent.
“Very well,” he agreed and rose to his feet before she could clarify. “I must admit, I am intrigued about what you have in mind.”
“Probably not what I just implied,” Nox grumbled. She turned and started for the entrance of the inn, in part to lead the way down to the riverbank, and in part so he couldn’t watch her attempt to contain her blush. She sighed, mumbling, “But by now I am used to making an arse of myself in front of you.”
Gale laughed behind her. “You’re hardly an arse, Nox. I know that is not what you meant,” he reassured. “And my curiosity is genuine. You always come to me with the most fascinating problems or topics of conversation, time spent with you is always quite stimulating, and thus is always time well-spent…in my opinion.”
Instead of containing her blush, she could feel her ears growing hotter with every word he spoke. “Well, if nothing else I can assure you I’m not coming to you with a problem,” Nox answered after a moment. She brushed some hair from her face towards her ears, hoping maybe it would conceal some of the evidence of her embarrassment. “I simply have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” he echoed as he followed after her out the door. “Well, that is…” As he strode up beside her, he grimaced and sighed before inevitably accepting his words were failing him. “…Unexpected.”
Despite herself, Nox couldn’t help but to laugh, and the bundle of nerves sitting in her stomach started unraveling. He had that effect on her, even his blunders were unwittingly charming. “I should certainly hope so, given the nature of surprises,” she teased and threw a grin up at him.
“You know, I am regularly accused of grand verbosity, as most wizards are. I’ve probably had the complaint lobbed at me more than some of the greatest scholars of the realms, and I still somehow so often flounder it with you, Moon Mage,” Gale huffed lightly. “I swear I was cursed not long after making your acquaintance.”
“It’s oft said simplicity is the key to success,” she pointed out, unable to wipe the playful smile off her face. “It is hardly my fault that you do not heed such advice.”
“I suppose there is some merit to advice like that when it is so commonly proffered, and now offered again from someone as intelligent as you,” he sighed with an overexaggerated roll of his eyes. “Fine, then I’ll ask plainly: where are you taking me? What is this surprise?”
Nox tutted and shook her head. “That’s hardly the nature of surprises either,” she answered, but motioned for him to follow her through the courtyard. “You’ll find out soon enough. Come, we’re not going far.”
If Gale had any further, burning curiosities, he did not voice them. He followed after her through the courtyard of the inn and down the slope to the riverbank without another word. She only had to urge him on once, gently tugging on his forearm when he paused to assess the fact the temperature was noticeably dropping as they moved closer to the river. She finally allowed him to stop completely when the results of her magic came into view.
“Nox…?” he asked softly. His footsteps came to a halt with a crunch on the edges of the snow and ice on the ground.
She glanced towards the new, snowy winter wonderland she had created and took in the scene again. Perhaps it wasn’t as subtle as she would have liked, but it was far too late to change anything else now. It was obviously different to the snowy evening she gave the tieflings and Harpers, being a smaller area and more dimly lit. Looking at it again, it was clearly much more intimate, and with that realization she could feel panic seize her throat. It wasn’t that she minded if it was read like that—she should mind, but she didn’t—but if Gale considered it that way and it was not what he wanted, then she would suddenly have a lot of backtracking and explaining to do before she could even attempt to get him to enjoy it, which she certainly hadn’t planned for and had no idea where to even begin—
As quickly as it came, the panic subsided the moment she turned back to address him. Gale was staring up at the gentle snowfall with thinly veiled awe, the light of his smile reaching his eyes as he held out his hand to catch a few flakes on his palm. Nox felt every muscle ease at the sight, and her heart melted more as she watched him hold out his other hand to catch even more of the snow. He had a similar reaction in the courtyard earlier when he first saw the conjured snowfall with the others, but it was interrupted by everyone else also marveling and having fun. Now they were alone—uninterrupted—and the sight of his unabashed joy made all of this preparation worth it on its own.
When he turned his gaze back on her, he somehow only brightened more. “What is all this?”
“Oh, you know…” She shrugged one shoulder sheepishly and swept her eyes over the snow again. “I wanted a party for two is all, just for a little while,” she answered after a moment. “I know it’s nothing compared to Waterdhavian winters,” she added quietly, “But as I said earlier, I figured any small bit of wonder in this land of bleakness was a worthy endeavor.”
“This is no small bit of wonder, Nox,” Gale said with a small shake of his head. He brushed his hands together before resting one gently on her shoulder. “This is magnificent. Truly magical in every sense of the word.”
Something fluttered in her chest at the praise. “I’m glad you think so,” Nox said, relief and sincerity washing through her. She held his gaze with a smile, indulging the warmth blooming in her chest for a few moments, before the realization rang out in her mind that she could simply stay like this forever, but the moment was stretching for too long.
“However…” She cleared her throat and took a reluctant step away from him. “In addition to being pretty, it is also serving a purpose. Follow me.”
She walked over to the bag she left sitting by one of the rocks and knelt down to dust off the coating of snow resting on top. “You’re going to need these,” she declared, pulling a pair of boots out of the bag. She gave them a once over before holding them out for him to take.
Gale also gave them a look over, very obviously feeling the Weave emanating from them. “And these are…?” he asked, taking them from her and turning them over in his hands.
“I’m calling them the Ice Stompers.” That alone should tell him what they were, but she decided to add some context. “Do you remember how I was using the excuse of needing to train my transmuting skills in order to give you more items to consume for the Orb?” she asked and closed the bag.
“Oh, so you are admitting the Orb was the primary reason now?” he asked lightly.
Nox shrugged again and stood back up, brushing snow off of the lower parts of her robes. “I figured you were never fooled, and it is in the distant past…you can’t scold me or try to dissuade me from making the effort now,” she answered. “Also, beside the point. That endeavor did also better my transmutation skills. We…’lost’ the last pair of boots we had that worked well against difficult terrain—” ‘Lost’ was the kinder way of putting it to him, but his lips still pulled into a frown. “—So, I made a new pair. Specifically for ice, in this case.”
“Alright…” Gale said slowly, clearly trying to piece together why that was the case. Despite his confusion, he still did as she asked, dropping one of the boots to the ground and toeing out of his own before stepping into it.
“Do they fit?” Nox asked, head tilting as she examined the boot he now wore. She had gone through a lot of trouble to ensure the size of his boots without letting him onto anything, and she had a hunch the ‘unspecified favor’ she now owed Astarion was going to cost her. If the intel was correct though, then she would happily pay any price.
“They do,” he nodded before repeating the process with the other boot. “Though, I am still unclear as to why I need them.”
“Well…”
It was easier to show him. Without answering, she stepped around him and walked to the part of the river she froze. Tentatively, she placed a foot on the ice and tested its sturdiness before putting her full weight into the step. Certain it was frozen enough by now to not give away, she confidently strode fully onto the ice and slid a bit before turning around and grinning at him, hand outstretched.
Gale stared at her incredulously for several seconds, before eyeing the ice skeptically and then looking back up at her with the same, unconvinced gaze. “You are aware my knees are liable to give way at any moment, correct? Especially in a cold snap such as this?”
It was about the reaction she expected from him. “You do not get to play the old age card to an elf, Gale,” Nox teased.
“I rather think I do, given the biological differences in our aging processes.”
Despite his obvious reticence, Gale still walked over to her, though kept his feet firmly rooted to the snowy grass. “Nox, I know of your confidence on the ice, given your predilection towards the element, so surely by now you must know of my lack thereof? I am hardly as graceful as you,” he said and shot her a small, wry smile. “Might I inquire as to why you thought of this for your ‘party of two’?”
That was also about what she expected in terms of a reaction. She figured he would be reluctant—and she couldn’t entirely blame him—but she had hoped maybe he would humor her, just this once. Nox sighed, attempting not to let too much disappointment shine on her face, but before she could drop her hand, his palm slid against hers. She looked down at their hands and then up to his face, brow raised in question. Gale hadn’t moved from the grass, but one side of his mouth tipped upwards, and he shrugged.
Alright, if he wasn’t fully against the idea, then she could at least work with that. “Do you want the real answer?” she asked. “Or do you want the logical answer I knew I needed to come up with for when you looked at me like I had finally lost my mind at the mere suggestion?”
“Oh, I didn’t expect to have a choice,” Gale chuckled. After thinking it over for a second, he decided, “Let’s start with the logical answer.”
“That’s simple,” she said and held up her finger. “One, we are going to be squaring off against an allegedly immortal man who is more than likely the reason—or part of the reason—we have illithid tadpoles in our heads. Two—” She held up another finger. “—I am, among other things, a wizard predisposed towards ice magic. I am, however, not as well-trained of an evoker as you, and my spells are not always meticulously sculpted.”
She held up a third finger, and with her other hand, tugged on his to pull herself closer to him. “And three, as you’ve already implied, you, dear Wizard of Waterdeep,” she addressed him with a poke to his chest, “Are not the most graceful when it comes to keeping your balance…to put it delicately. You could use some practice before we face our foe, lest you instead wind up falling on your face from a spell I needed to cast.”
“Hm…”
He was mulling over her answer with serious consideration, but as his brown eyes narrowed in thought, she could see a familiar, playful spark igniting under the veneer of genuine deliberation. “I take some offense to that, but as they are my own words and your logic is sound, I suppose I cannot refute it,” he relented.
Given how their debates had gone in the past, that was almost too easy. Still, Nox smirked, rather pleased it hadn’t taken that much to convince him. Yet, her victory was cut short when she stepped back to pull him onto the ice, and instead he pulled her right back to stand in front of him.
“Except,” he countered, his own smile slipping through, “It does beg the question that if you are so concerned over this, why are you not training your spell sculpting in order to be more accommodating?”
Her smirk fell into a pout, and she huffed. “Of these two complications, one is much easier to remedy in the short term,” she pointed out. “I chose the quicker option for our current timeline. Unless you would rather explain to everyone else why we are stalling through the several nights it would take for me to be able to utilize spell sculpting as naturally as I do arcane warding?”
“I would gladly assist you with that, you know,” Gale offered. “You are a quick study on what few skills you do not already possess. It would hardly take any time at all.”
“And you are insufferable,” Nox muttered under her breath, though it carried no bite whatsoever. Something he acknowledged if the way his lips twitched upward was any indication. He enjoyed teasing her far too much. “Alright, how about this, then?” she asked and smiled sweetly up at him. “Step on the ice now, and I swear we will start tomorrow evening.”
Gale laughed, but finally conceded to her request. Hesitantly, he placed one foot on the ice, followed closely by the other. His grip tightened around her hand as she stepped back and he slid in front of her. Nox offered her other hand, which he took readily, before she took another step and pulled him along with her. His legs shook some with the effort to stay steady, but the magic she embedded in the boots held to its purpose of keeping him upright.
“See?” Nox giggled, delighted as they started moving—albeit slowly—around the frozen portion of the river. Her eyes trailed from watching his feet up to meet Gale’s gaze, which rested pleasantly on her. “It’s not so bad, right?”
“No, it isn’t,” he agreed quietly. “Few things are with you.”
He held her stare and she felt as though she were just caught under a Charm spell of his, incapable of glancing away from his purposeful gaze while the sweet words he offered repeated in her mind. Had her presence truly eased him that much? Before she could offer a response, or even process what to make of what he said, one of his legs wobbled again and he leaned forward, his hands pressing harder against hers to steady himself once more.
“Right…well…” Gale coughed to clear his throat. “Now that I have conceded to your wishes, may I ask what the real answer is?”
“Of course,” she agreed, though her voice was distant.
She said nothing for a few moments, instead letting them gain a bit more momentum as she took the steps to mentally shake herself from her temporary stupor. Once her shock from the moment had passed—and she quickly quelled her disappointment over the fact he was no longer gazing at her—she settled on taking her own advice regarding simplicity from earlier. She let go of one of his hands and swung around, gliding beside him.
“Gale…when was the last time you simply had fun with magic?”
“What?” Gale sputtered, nearly tripping over himself with how quickly he turned to look back at her. She put an arm around his waist to steady him, then met his gaze once he settled from his flailing. “I enjoy magic and indulging the Weave every day,” he said quickly. “I thought you would understand that better than anyone.”
“I do, obviously,” she reassured him. “I enjoy orchestrating the Weave as much as the next mage whenever it is necessary, but that isn’t what I meant.”
She let go of his waist after she was assured he was steady again, then took a few steps ahead to actually skate across the ice rather than simply sliding. When she turned around to face him, she pointed at his feet to encourage him to follow suit.
“What I meant is exactly what I asked: when was the last time you used magic for fun?” she clarified. “Not for battling purposes, not for healing or taking care of others, and not for maintaining or proving your place in society. When did you last use magic exclusively for entertainment?”
“Ah…well…”
In place of giving an answer, he mimicked her motions and took a step on the ice. When he didn’t immediately slip, he looked down at his own feet in amazement, and then took another step. He smiled up at her, pride written across his face from managing to skate without falling, only for it to slowly falter and sober as he reconsidered her question.
“I…should suppose it has been a while, under those conditions,” he admitted. “Not since I was with Mystra, I think…though I did not believe you wished to hear more about that, and honestly I would much prefer not speaking on it further now, all things considered.”
Nox sighed. He was correct in his assumptions that she did not want to hear more about his relationship with Mystra—just mention of the Goddess made her almost recoil—but he still wasn’t understanding what she was asking. “That is fair, and also not what I meant. I meant fun, Gale,” she stressed the word to impart its meaning. “Something just for you, something exclusively for your enjoyment, without trying to impress or entertain anyone else.”
Neither of them had explicitly said it, but it was obvious to her at least that during his entire relationship with the Goddess of Magic, Gale was not doing anything without the express intent of impressing her. It was understandable, with him being a mortal and her being a goddess, but the concept was…well it was why it enraged her so. It was upsetting, and the damage was clearly done. That was definitely not what she meant, that ultimately wasn’t fun.
He fell quiet again as he reconsidered her extra clarification, half-skating and half-sliding after her. She watched as his face continued to fall deeper into a frown, and she wondered if he could hear her heart cracking in response in the silence between them.
“It…has been quite a while, then.”
“As I suspected,” Nox muttered. She skated back to his side and reached out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze before looking up at him with a small, weary smile. “If it is any consolation, it’s the same for me as well.”
“I wouldn’t call that consolatory,” he said after a moment. He grasped her hand and looked down at her with a similar, exhausted smile. “But I suppose I am glad—and relatively unsurprised—to hear I am not alone.”
They both fell silent for several minutes, skating side by side and letting the shared sentiment rest between them as they lapped the frozen part of the river a few times. Nox watched him carefully as they went, thoughts straying further from the somewhat depressing, shared reality between them. Instead, her mind turned towards the man beside her now. Gale still stumbled here and there but was beginning to get his legs under him even compared to when he first stepped onto the ice. She probably wouldn’t need to watch over him like this for much longer, and that was a shame.
Winter…suited him, she decided. Snowflakes dotted his hair and there was a light, white dusting covering his shoulders, contrasting beautifully against his lightly tanned skin and the dark violet fabric of his robes. The lights of her cantrips shone and reflected in his eyes and in the cold air around him, giving him an even greater mystical—ethereal, even—appearance. The concentration etched into his face as he focused on his balance was equal parts admirable and adorable, though it did nothing to hide the quiet joy radiating from the small, perhaps subconscious, upwards curve of his lips or the wonder as he glanced up at the gentle snowfall.
This was triumph. She was positively giddy this had worked out exactly as she wished, and it took much of her self-control to not spontaneously burst out into giggles from what felt like a thousand butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She kept it contained, mostly because she found her attention drawn in by having the chance to study him in a moment of solitude. For the second time in one night, Nox was struck yet again by the fact that he was, by all accounts, an incredibly handsome man. A fact that was accompanied by the words her sister had spoken to her earlier in the evening.
Smitten. Was that…was that truly what this was?
“Is something wrong?”
Gale’s voice pulled her from her ruminations, and she blinked up at him to find him looking back down at her, bemused.
Right, she was staring.
“No, no. No, nothing’s wrong,” she said quickly. “It’s just…uh…you’re—” Incredibly attractive and it is surprisingly distracting. “—You’re getting better,” she shrugged weakly.
“Oh! I am glad you believe so! I did not want to say anything and risk making a fool of myself if you disagreed, but I was thinking the same,” he chuckled. “The Ice Stompers are a significant help, naturally. If you told me to do this without them, I’m sure I’d still be as stumbling as a baby fawn learning to walk, but I believe I am starting to get a feel for the movements,” he smiled and squeezed her hand again. “And I will admit it is rather enjoyable to be able to accompany you.”
She grinned upon hearing that, beyond thrilled to hear him confirm her initial purpose was a success. “Excellent!” she beamed. Immediately, she registered her enthusiasm as being a little too much and she glanced away. “That’s…that is all I was looking for,” she added, schooling her voice into a calmer tone. “I am incredibly glad to hear it.”
Gale chuckled again and pulled her closer to his side, the action urging her to look back at him. He smiled down at her with warm, contemplative eyes languidly taking her in, and she was yet again mesmerized by how he appeared under the dim lights and gently falling snow. Now, she was also pulled in by how he looked at her: patient, understanding, and with a warmth she could never identify beyond how it made her stomach flip.
“It has been a while for you as well, hasn’t it?” Gale mused after a few moments of thoughtful silence.
“It…” She blinked. “…Pardon?” she fumbled, bewildered as her mind caught up with what he said.
“Apologies, I meant no insult,” he clarified quickly. “I just do not believe I have ever seen you look this…light before.” He immediately frowned and shook his head. “By which I mean, you are usually much more focused and intense with…well, just about everything you do. It is admirable and amazing to witness, mind you! But…”
His eyes softened when he dared to meet her befuddled gaze again. “I have never seen you truly smile like this before, and it is an honor to catch more than a mere glimpse of it. Your smile is a breathtaking sight—you are a breathtaking sight!—but it does put much into perspective.”
“…Oh,” Nox muttered, unable to piece together much else. Her head swam with his words, both the compliment—he liked her smile—and at the underlying implication of what he said. That he knew her enough by now to visibly see she was speaking the truth earlier.
His free hand swung out, motioning towards their surroundings and recentering her on the present moment instead of her runaway thoughts. “You said yourself that it has been a while since you have simply had fun with magic, as well,” Gale repeated softly.
“It is rather obvious when you know, isn’t it?” she asked with an awkward laugh. After a moment, a long sigh escaped her—as much of an acknowledgment of his question as it was to calm her own nerves—and she nodded. “It has been a while; I assure you I was not lying just to sympathize.”
“Then, may I pose your question back to you?” he asked tentatively.
“I…suppose that is only fair,” Nox agreed. It was probably in her best interest to have a change in subject and a topic to focus her thoughts on anyways. “Even though you technically have not yet answered. ‘A while’ is not a satisfactory answer,” she pointed out lightly.
Despite her momentary distraction throwing her completely off-kilter, she had prepared an answer for this question. She had expected he would inquire about her as well simply because, at worst, Gale was never afraid to pose her prying questions back to her, which she respected him all the more for. And at best…he cared for her the same way she cared for him. Either way, she had already figured she would need to answer this question for herself tonight as well.
“Honestly? The night we shared the Weave together was the most fun I have had with magic in a long, long while,” Nox said.
Gale snorted in response and quirked a brow. “I do not believe that night fits the criteria you placed on me. As I recall it, you were trying to upstage me for most of the evening,” he pointed out.
“Indeed I was! And that was the most fun I’ve had in ages!” When he frowned at her, she shook her head and nudged him lightly, enough to tease but not enough to send him sprawling on the ice. “I’m kidding…because you are correct,” she said, sobering. “I did spend most of that night trying to one up and impress you, mostly because I believed I still had something to prove to you. You were the first of our peers in over fifty years who, once you knew who I was, decided I didn’t have something to prove, after all.”
“And I still believe most of our peers are fools for that alone,” Gale interjected.
She flashed him an appreciative smile before continuing, “And yet…despite that, that night was also the first spark in reminding me how much I enjoyed magic on its own.” She glanced down at their still joined hands, her smile slipping with her thoughts. “It was a wake-up call for me to realize how long it had truly been since I last genuinely enjoyed magic for magic. It was also a blatant reminder for how much I used to enjoy sharing it with others, and a blatant contrast for how…”
Nox sighed, her eyes drifting towards the small expanse of snow and ice before them. “Well…for how isolating it has been since my mother passed, if I’m to be honest,” she admitted, her voice nearly cracking. It was a truth she had known for years, one she let lie dormant in the back of her mind, but not one she had ever voiced aloud before. It was high time to acknowledge it, she could acknowledge it now, because of him.
Gale’s hand squeezed around hers, but she didn’t dare look up. She had no desire to cry tonight, and she knew she could get through this small explanation without doing so, so long as she did not look up. If she saw the sympathy shining in his eyes—something she knew would be there no matter what—she wasn’t positive she would be able to hold back.
“I still have people, I know. Lux has quite literally been by my side since we were born, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for the Elturian refugees, I’ve made pleasant acquaintances all along the Sword Coast during my travels, and even now we have our little party of misfits whom I’ve grown to love. I’m not alone…but it’s not the same,” she sighed again. “Magic is the biggest part of my life, and it’s not the same when you can’t share something so instrumental to yourself with others. Or you can share it, but you know they can’t understand it in the way you need them to. I at least had Kalden for a time, but then I lost him in Avernus and…”
She gave one, sharp shake of her head and pulled back the tears pricking her eyes before they started flowing. In the back of her mind, she acknowledged this was probably the most she had spoken about herself since they had met, and the most she had spoken about all she had been through ever. It was not a topic she intended to discuss in full tonight, and not one she wanted to dwell on any longer than necessary, but one she knew she needed to explain—at least in part—in order to impart the sincerity of what she was about to admit. Vulnerability was, unfortunately, the only way she could think of to do as she needed.
Instead of continuing, she took a large breath and squared her shoulders before turning to look back up at Gale. He was watching her silently—a rarity for him—with the sympathy she knew would be there blazing in his eyes and a firm grip on her hand in reassurance.
“My point,” Nox said, forcing the shakiness from her voice. “My point is that you threw me a lifeline that night, Gale. One I didn’t even know I needed until I found myself clinging to it days later.”
“Nox.”
Gale’s hand tightened around hers as he slowed to a stop. He pulled her to stand in front of him once more and let go of her hand to gently reach out and grip both of her arms. “I had no idea that night meant that much to you,” he whispered. His eyes widened a bit with his words, and he was quick to add, “Make no mistake, I enjoyed it immensely and it has quickly become one of my fondest memories, but I never realized you regarded it as highly as you did.”
She gave him a small smile to assuage his concerns. She knew he was being genuine and not simply stating that to appease her, just as she knew that night likely did mean a great deal to him as well.
“No words could properly convey just how immeasurably flattered I am to hear that you do regard that night as you say,” he continued. His thumbs brushed over her shoulders, tracing circles into the bit of snow clinging to her robes. “And I am beyond grateful to know I was able to offer you such safety, however accidentally it was at the time.”
“How accidental it was is the beauty of it, I think,” Nox softly said. It was true they both had ulterior motives that night, but the connection they forged despite that was undeniably ironclad and had genuinely become that lifeline for her. There was something deeply poetic to it that she acknowledged but couldn’t articulate. “And it is also what ultimately led us here. It was what ultimately made me reflect, on myself of course, but also on you.”
“On me?”
She nodded and brought a hand up to lightly rest over one of his, delicately tracing down the backs of his fingers with her own. “The more you spoke of your own experiences—how few, if any, friends you had, how you were isolated away from the world you should have been a part of, the entirety of Mystra and the Orb—the more it felt…familiar. Not exactly the same, but enough. And the more it felt familiar, the more I wished to offer the same to you as you did for me.”
“Oh…” Gale breathed out. “I…” He stumbled over his words, a breathy laugh pushing past his lips instead. “I find myself rather lacking in the proper words at the moment. A year’s worth of isolation and no one, aside from Tara, ever so much as thought to do the same for me as you are now…”
“I know,” she whispered while gently threading her fingers through his. “You don’t have to say anything. Gods above, I rarely have the proper words for a moment and am often rendered silent, it is nice to have the tables turned for once,” she joked.
The corners of his eyes crinkled when he grinned at her, and she saw the twinkle of a few tears glimmering in the soft light of her magic. He said nothing further though, simply squeezed her fingers with his in silent appreciation.
“But truly, we all need a break,” Nox continued. She tilted her head to lay her cheek on their joined hands resting on her shoulder. “It has just been rather obvious that you had a higher need than the rest of us, all things considered. So, I wished to offer what I could, recognizing that I was uniquely capable amongst our friends in that regard. A wizard would know best what a wizard needs, after all.”
“It would certainly appear so,” he agreed quietly with a subtle nod.
His eyes trailed from hers down to where their hands rested under her cheek, and she moved her head back when she felt his hand shift against her shoulder. She watched, curious, as he clutched her hand and drew it towards his face. She only had a moment of recognition before his thumb traced down her palm and he leaned forward slightly, closing the distance between her hand and his lips.
“Oh.” The startled gasp escaped her without warning when he placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. Her wide eyes looked up from their hands to find a set of warm, brown eyes staring back at her, positively entranced. “Okay…”
“Your sentiment is well-received, Nox,” Gale mumbled, lips ghosting over her skin as his warm breath flitted down the back of her hand and wrist. “And I cherish it well beyond what I am able to properly voice.”
“I am more than satisfied with knowing you are enjoying yourself, though I assure you it’s—” Her lips parted with another sharp intake of breath when he moved up, pressing a kiss to the base of her middle finger. Nox bit down on her bottom lip, barely catching an overwhelmingly exuberant giggle before it bubbled out. A smile still tugged at the corners of her mouth. “—It was truly no trouble at all, hardly worthy of such gratitude.”
“That you genuinely believe it to be no trouble means it is only all the more worthy,” he refuted softly, before kissing her finger one more time and meeting her gaze again. She saw the hints of his smirk hiding behind their hands before he added, “Even if I cannot quite fathom why you believed it was a good idea to bring an old wizard with bad knees into such a cold snap.”
She was lightheaded, her heart ready to burst with the happiness from knowing she was successful and all the praises he was offering her. She couldn’t prevent herself from laughing this time at the absurdity of his teasing in comparison to everything else. “Oh, come off it! You’re hardly old, and you’ve been perfectly fine since we started,” Nox scoffed. With her hand still in his, she pulled him back into moving again as she resumed skating. “You’re truly not going to let this go, are you?”
“It is simply an interesting choice, is all I am implying,” Gale chuckled. He allowed her to guide him back on the ice, though. “And a far cry different than sharing the Weave.”
“Naturally. I had to figure out something different to sharing the Weave, you already laid claim to that,” she responded as if it were obvious. “So, I got to brainstorming and…admittedly, probably lost myself to the nostalgia of everything else.”
His fingers threaded through hers as they fell into a comfortable speed gliding around the ice once more. He appeared confident enough by now that he likely didn’t her as a safety net anymore, but she was in no spot to complain that he was still holding her hand.
“The truth is…I did this often as a child,” Nox admitted. She glanced up at him for a brief moment, and then turned her attention to the falling snow. “I was…not the most social of individuals in my youth—” That was the kinder way to put it. “—I was…different. There are not many elves in Elturel, and not many children were quite as taken with their studies as I was. So when Lux wasn’t around, I often found myself alone with nothing to do, and taken with my studies as I was, practicing what I could of my magic helped ease the boredom and loneliness.”
She smiled as her face turned upward, a few flakes landing on her nose and cheeks. After a moment, she tugged him forward, pulling him towards the center of her magical winter. “It also helped for me to create my isolation in the form of something beautiful. You have enjoyed many a Waterdhavian winters, have you not?” she asked, slowing to stand in the middle of the icy patch on the river.
“Several during my time, yes,” Gale answered.
“Then you understand what it is like to stand in a snowstorm in the middle of the night?” she asked softly, violet eyes searching his face in earnest. When he opened his mouth to answer, she held up a finger and lightly shook her head. “You know the stillness of it? To be surrounded by nothing but the darkness of the night and the white of the snow? To hear nothing but the quiet snowfall mixed with the sounds of your own breath?”
He didn’t try to speak again, and her hand slowly returned to her side. Instead, his gaze focused on hers as their breaths fell in sync. In place of their words, the slight patter of snowflakes against the ice could be heard interspersed between every quiet inhale and exhale they took. There was nothing else, no sound coming from the Last Light Inn or the ravaged, cursed lands around Moonrise Towers. No screams, no laughs, no fighting or struggling for survival.
For one, blissful moment, it was just her and Gale and the quiet snowfall.
It was the stillness she spoke of, the one she knew resided in her heart and the one she had conjured for herself a hundred times. The one she never realized until now—until her chest tightened the longer she gazed up at him in this moment—she had been aching to share with another who would understand.
And Gale did understand, given how his hand tightened around hers and given just how easily his face smoothed into a wonderful tenderness the longer he smiled down at her. Hesitantly, his other hand reached out and gently grabbed at her waist, drawing her just the slightest bit closer. When she didn’t resist—when she couldn’t resist with how erratically her heart beat at the gesture—he settled his hand on her hip and gave the slightest bit of a nod.
“Can you feel it now? How it is to be a single, solitary creature witnessing something marvelous?” she breathed out, her words catching a few times. “To witness something mystical and so tremendously beautiful you only have the opportunity to experience it in the utmost privacy away from the world around you?”
His eyes dipped, slowly trailing down her form and back up again in admiration and—if she dared believe it—longing. “I have always found winter beautiful, but never quite to this degree,” Gale said, barely above a whisper. “Though with you—” He looked over her again as he cleared his throat, presumably to remove the roughness from his voice. “—With how you speak of it, I certainly understand the appeal.”
She spared a sidelong glance towards the snow, her smile light as her face warmed. “It is likely the predisposition towards ice magic that makes me speak of winter as if I’m insane,” Nox joked, feeling an indescribable need to lessen her words for a reason she couldn’t quite place. Embarrassment hung off of her shoulders, but it was not the type she was used to feeling in the face of her own earnestness. It was softer now, and she didn’t quite mind its presence as much.
“I enjoyed it immensely when I was younger, if that isn’t obvious,” she chuckled. “I still immensely enjoy being able to conjure my own personal winter to dance and play in as I see fit. But it’s been well over fifty years since I have last indulged myself, and even then…the last time I did, it wasn’t for myself.”
The last time she had done this had been for Kalden, for his first date with his future wife. It was a fact she briefly acknowledged when the idea first struck her and then one she did not consider again. She was rather keen on avoiding it altogether, having no desire to unpack the implications of that fact, or even let on that any implications existed at all.
“So, with some reflection accidentally brought on by you, I decided it was time to try again,” Nox said instead. “And I thought that this time, perhaps I could share a little piece of my own, personal serenity. I figured, perhaps, you needed it more than I did.”
Gale didn’t respond immediately, choosing instead to study her silently with a warm, near-hypnotic gaze. She was enraptured again, unable to glance away from his penetrating, brown eyes as he stared into her own, and unable to speak on anything more. He searched her eyes as if he was looking for an answer to a question he hadn’t voiced, and she was uncertain as to what that could possibly be. When he evidently found whatever it was he sought from her gaze, he finally ducked his head and chuckled in embarrassment.
“I…suppose I should rescind my prior complaints,” he muttered. His head was still bowed, but he glanced over at her from his position and gave her an apologetic smile. “That is monumentally thoughtful, and as only you are wont to do, you have endeared me entirely to the concept.”
She blinked, caught off guard that he was even concerned about that. “You were only joking, I know,” she reassured and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I took no offense, I swear.”
His eyes slid to look at her hand, then back to her face. “Still, this is sincerely one of the most heartfelt things anyone has ever given me,” he said and straightened. “If I had understood how much it meant to you…”
“It’s fine, Gale,” Nox cut him off with a small laugh. “You didn’t have the context because I never gave it to you, and I understand how it could have been easily misconstrued.” She sighed quietly and squeezed his shoulder. “You know, I only ever intended this to be for you.”
It was Gale’s turn to be caught off guard, if how he stared down at her was any indicator. “How do you mean, exactly?”
“The stuff earlier with the refugees and the Harpers?” she asked rhetorically and then shook her head. “That wasn’t in my plan. This was only ever meant for you, but after rescuing the prisoners and reuniting everyone, the atmosphere still felt quite dour.” Understandably so, they had rescued everyone from Moonrise Towers, but that didn’t eliminate the ordeal and all the prisoners had already been through. “I felt obligated to do…well, something, and I already had most of the logistics of it worked out. It wasn’t…this…”
Nox sighed, motioning around them at the snow and lights. “It wasn’t the quiet and the solitude, it wasn’t me trying to impart the peace the snow grants me, but it was a few hours of playful mischief with some winter weather,” she shrugged, “I understand how you could have believed I was asking for the same with you.”
“You care for the refugees a great deal,” Gale said, something like realization lighting up behind his eyes.
“I…do,” she agreed with just a touch of hesitation. “I’ve never made that a secret.”
“Then…I would not be presumptuous to say you also care for me a great deal,” he added quietly. It wasn’t quite a question—if anything it was the second half to a logic puzzle—but his desire for an answer was evident.
“I…suppose,” she agreed tentatively.
She immediately regretted the words the moment they left her lips. That answer was far too hesitant, far too uncertain for a truth she had readily accepted for well over a month now. He deserved to know that truth if he was questioning it. She deserved to say it wholly.
“Yes, I do,” Nox corrected after a moment, sounding much more determined in her answer. “And if you have to question that, I suppose I’ve made that more of a secret than I’ve intended.”
“Or perhaps I was simply refusing to believe what was in front of me,” Gale mumbled, his mind obviously distantly in his thoughts. As if shaking himself, his eyes refocused on her with a sudden clarity, a renewed brightness, and a subtle hint of absolute terror. Her heart flopped over in her chest.
“I understand now, Nox,” he said softly.
After flopping over, her heart leapt into her throat as her wavering gaze snapped up to meet his, startled by his words. “Understand…what, exactly?” she forced out. What was there to understand?
“I understand…” His eyes searched hers again while he trailed off. She probably would have accosted anyone other than Gale, but with him, all she could do was stare back, mystified.
After a moment, he released a breath and shook his head. “I…understand why they call you Archmage,” he answered with a weak smile.
Disappointment dropped low in her gut, though she couldn’t quite place why. His admittance was not what she expected—she wasn’t sure what she expected—though it was enough to calm her racing heart. She swallowed back the lingering lump in her throat before daring to speak. “That’s a people’s title, Gale, nothing more,” she smiled wanly.
“It means the world to them. It matters to them,” he disagreed. His hand pressed into her hip a bit as his eager eyes sought out hers. “Just as it matters to me. It’s admirable, and worth much more than simply being gifted it.”
The sentiment was kind, but she still blew out a breath and shook her head. “Most mages would disagree with you.”
“And as we’ve already established, most of our peers are fools,” he said resolutely. “Most of our peers are quick to write off everyone they meet based on a first glance and snap judgment. The people who know you, who have spent time with you, those who have been under your protection and those who have fought by your side…they are the ones whose opinions matter, because they are the ones whose opinions are true. And the refugees?” he asked rhetorically. “They are the people who know you. They are the ones who like you, who trust you…you make them feel safe, Nox.”
“’Safe’?” she echoed, incredulous. He had a point, and though she was taken aback at how eager he was to get it across, she could admit it was there. She had not given much thought towards what most of their peers considered of her in a long while. But…safety was not where she expected him to end that proclamation.
“’Safe’ is not the word I would expect to be associated with,” Nox chuckled with no small amount of self-deprecation coloring her voice. “Irritating? Sure. Confusing? Certainly. But safe? The blunt, wandering hermit more interested in whatever book her nose found itself stuck in rather than those around her? I doubt most people come away from an interaction with me feeling safe.”
“I mean it,” he insisted. Her gaze started pulling away, uncertainty flooding her veins, but he hooked a finger under her chin and forced her attention back to him. She refused to dwell on the small, surprised breath she sucked in at his action.
“Verbosity aside, I am not one to speak words I do not believe in,” Gale said. “We are all rough around the edges. I have heard my ego likened to that of a strutting peacock, for instance. Perhaps you are brusque and blunt or uncertain and awkward, but you breed a sense of safety wherever you reside, and people can feel your sincerity. After all, who else would manage to free every individual trapped in a cult’s high security prison, and then throw them a small party in celebration to ease their nerves?”
It was hardly fair to expect her to be unaffected by his words or the closeness they now shared. The snow started falling harder above them, and her eyes turned upwards to watch the path of a few flakes as they descended from the sky and landed in the soft brown locks of his hair or the velvety purple fabric covering his shoulders and arms. When she returned her attention to him, he was still gazing down at her with a blazing sincerity that made her chest constrict and stole the breath from her lungs.
Gale’s visage staring down at her now, under the light and snow of the magic she orchestrated in the Weave for him, was an image she would carry with her for the rest of her long life.
“At the very least, I know that there is no one else in my life who would witness me struggling as I have been and decide—correctly, I might add—that I needed to have some fun with magic, and that means something. It has to mean something, it is worth so…so very much,” he whispered.
Her eyes fell shut and she bit the edge of her bottom lip. It did mean something.
“I have understood for a while now how you earned your title,” he continued, and she opened her eyes back up to watch him. “You are well-versed in the Art and undeniably talented, but over time I have realized it is so much more. Beyond power and intelligence—both you have in abundance, mind—being an Archmage is about capability and safety, strength and kindness…”
He sighed and shook his head, almost in disbelief at her. “You have earned the title twice over by those standards since I have met you alone, just as you have earned the admiration and love and camaraderie of the people around you. You…you are the promise of a better tomorrow, Nox’ani,” he said quietly, “You are the brightness of a better future, and I am a better man simply by knowing you.”
“Gale…”
She faltered in the face of such praise. What was there that she could possibly say to that? Under normal circumstances, she would mutter her gratitude, an apology, and then walk away, but this was not normal circumstance. This was Gale, and such an admittance coming from him required eloquence in response, something she lacked on a good day, let alone when he stunned her into silence.
“Gale, I…”
Nox struggled again, trailing off with a sigh. After taking a moment to regain some grip on her composure, she blew out a long breath and nodded. The only appropriate way to respond was as she had done before, with vulnerability. The best option was by speaking what she felt in her heart. “If that is all the requirements for the title, then perhaps that is why I am so willing to grant it to you, as well.”
Surprise sparked to life in his dark eyes, only to be snuffed out by a profound sadness. “I am afraid I lost all rights to that title over a year ago. Not…entirely unjustly, at that.”
“We all make mistakes—a part of a wizard’s charm, really,” she joked with a tight smile. “You are twice the man now you ever were then, I can tell. There is no reason you cannot work towards rectifying your mistake and reclaiming the title,” she said, her smile growing more sincere. “And if that is the case, then all I ask is that you allow me the honor to be the first to call you Archmage once more.”
With glassy eyes, Gale smiled down at her, and traced his thumb just under her bottom lip. “Coming from you, that carries a lot of weight,” he whispered. “It carries a grand amount of meaning, and a grand amount of hope. It…” He paused, grief briefly flickering across his eyes. “It would be nice to live up to your expectations, one day.”
“No more than it would be for me to live up to yours,” she breathed. “But you will, I believe,” Nox added, “And maybe through that, so will I.”
A small hum rumbled in his throat in agreement. He said nothing further though, his eyes instead flickering downwards, mapping a delicate path over her nose and cheeks before settling on her mouth. She waited for several seconds, not moving, not breathing as his hooded gaze rested on her lips, until his thumb moved up to trace over the curve of her bottom lip.
“Gale…?” she asked on a shuddering breath.
His eyes snapped back to hers, and she could’ve easily gotten lost in the dark, heated depths. “Nox…” he mumbled, leaning closer to her. He tilted her head up a little further and his eyes fell back down to her parted lips. “May I…”
Before either could move any further, a violet light flared between them that had them both peeling back from one another. Nox watched, flabbergasted, as the Orb flared to life in his chest, seemingly in response to one of the globes from her Dancing Lights floating too closely to them. She looked up to Gale in question, but he appeared just as shocked and harried as she felt, his frantic hands smoothing over his chest as he stared down at the Orb.
“I guess it still likes my magic,” Nox remarked, the logical part of her brain apparently ahead of the rest of her.
It made sense, Dancing Lights was the spell she fed directly to the Orb when they were bereft of all other options. Despite being calmed, the Orb still responded to magic it recognized—that was the only explanation for what just happened, and she supposed it was lucky that it only responded to the one spell she gave it directly and not all of her magic in general.
But it just had to happen now. Though, perhaps that was for the best. As her eyes locked with his, she understood the Orb was serving as a grim reminder for the realization that just tore through her with its flash.
You are in love with a dead man, Nox.
In love. For the first time, she was in love. That was the only explanation for the rush of emotion that surged through her veins once she realized they weren’t in imminent danger. The disappointment at the moment lost, the fear—not for her life, but for losing the man in front of her, and all the grief that carried, the loss itself, and the desire to go back. The overwhelming urge to hold him in her arms again, to assure him this was alright, that everything would be alright and they could—they would get through it. Gods, if nothing else, there was nothing more she wanted than to feel the hand he was using to readjust his robes back under her chin again, guiding her back to him.
She was in love, for the first time. That should have been terrifying enough on its own—and it was—but of course there had to be more. Of course it had to be with Gale. Of course, it had to be with a man slipping through her fingers as easily as the Weave did when she cast a spell, as easily as the water of the Chionthar on a hot, sunny day. A man so brilliant and breathtakingly bright who was divinely charged to burst and fade away, to dim until there was nothing left of him at all.
She was in love with a dead man walking. A man she desperately, desperately wanted to save.
“Apologies,” Gale said, a panic-tinged, embarrassed chuckle escaping him and ripping her from her thoughts. His other hand rested over his chest, covering the offending light as it slowly dimmed back into dormancy. “Leave it to me to ruin the fun, eh?”
“No!” she was quick to dispute. “No, not at all, Gale, I…”
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Before she knew what she was doing, Nox glided forward and rested her hand over his. She almost regretted it when she looked up and could see a reflection of her fear in his gaze. Reticence and awkwardness thinly masked the terror sparking behind his eyes. Fear at the sudden realization they had gotten close, closer than perhaps either one of them intended. Fear at the realization of what exactly this was buzzing between them, fear that it was much more than either of them believed, and how all of it should have been wonderful. But when mixed with the sudden, blazing reminder of what they couldn’t…what they shouldn’t have, how wonderful a thing it was blossoming between them was cast into shadow.
It was…it was why she never considered it before now, not consciously anyways. Some, subconscious part of her had kept this fact hidden from her. Now though…well, there was no way of unknowing it now. She loved him. She still couldn’t speak the words, but she loved him. Yet, judging by the way he was staring down at her, wide-eyed and silent, he didn’t want to hear those words any more than she wanted to say them.
Fear choked them both. Fear left her love gasping before it could even breathe.
“I…had a lovely time,” Nox said softly. As quickly as she went to him, she reluctantly pulled away. “I only hope you can say the same.”
“I can…I did,” he nodded. “It was wonderful, Nox.”
“I’m pleased to hear it,” she smiled, hoping it appeared genuine. She meant her words, but the act of smiling now left her stomach feeling ill. “I suppose we should end it here, then, lest the Orb decide to go back to its old ways.”
He took the cue and followed after her as she turned around and led him back to the bank of the river. Once assured he was on solid ground again, she gave him another half-hearted smile before trudging over to her staff. She only dared to look back once she reached Mourning Frost; with one hand on her staff, only then did she finally feel steady enough to glance back.
Gale still stood on the edge of the riverbank, having not moved an inch. He was watching her closely, dark eyes unreadable despite the dim light illuminating him. Her cantrips still hung around the area, casting everything in a rather romantic light and making the snow sparkle. The scene she had so carefully crafted, so lovingly put every ounce of her heart into in order to offer a few hours of peace, now left a bitter taste in her mouth. And Gale…and Gale.
The snow still fell around him, blowing slightly on the breeze blowing between them. In the center of the snowstorm, he was the stillness she was looking for, she understood that now. He was the peace. It was a sight, an indescribably powerful feeling she desperately needed to imprint onto her deepest memories. If she could have nothing else, she never wanted to lose the image of the man that stood before her now.
She never wanted to lose the man either, but that…that was not for her to decide, no matter how much she raged against that fact. All she could do…all she could control was how she remembered this moment.
She wanted it to be good. She knew it would only ever be bittersweet.
Nox always knew a little moment of serenity was never going to last forever. It never did. It was just a shame it was ending like this. There was nothing more she wanted to do than run back to him, to wrap him in her arms and kiss him like they were about to, and then never let him go. But no matter how much she desired it, she couldn’t urge her legs forward. She wouldn’t…she couldn’t do that, for the exact same reason she knew he stood several paces behind her, watching her silently and nothing more.
She loved him. There was nothing either of them could do about that.
Her hand gripped tighter around her staff, knuckles white with the effort, until she plucked it from the ground and settled it on her back. The lights began fading, and the snow slowly stopped its descent. She waved a hand and the Weave relaxed between her fingers, while a part of her mind finally sighed in relief over the concentration no longer being necessary. The magic was gone, and the sorrow that always accompanied her at the end of a time like this clung extra tightly to her heart now.
“I suppose we should all take our rest, now,” Nox muttered and turned away, uncertain if he even heard her. “Good night, Gale.”
“Good night,” Gale responded just as quietly. “And thank you for tonight, Nox’ani.”
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mugwot · 1 month ago
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hm
#ramble tag#more like vent tag but i refuse to have one of those you can just ignore me you are smart#like seriously dont read this unless you really wanna and are snooping#i think there's something wrong with my brain#the executives have really refused to function#or some such nonsense i don't know i am just saying things#if i blame it on a vaguely medical sounding problem i feel less personally responsible about it#its been roughly 4 days#the hours are slipping away like sand through fingers#and i cant Do Anything#its infuriating#i can only Think about all the work i need to do but i Can't Do it#i only have 6 days left probably less i dont know the exact deadline and i have made No progress and i know i just have to Start#but like every time there is a slightest huccup i just get pulled away from the task and oops its dark out now!#and its like i dont even care#i am not sad or scared or angry except i know i should be so its like a ghost of a feeling#i dont want to die and dont want to live if i could i would just sit and read or even just think alone with my mind for a week straight#after i post this i will open the document pull out the tablet and start again i need to Start#aughhhh#how am i even an adult human person#this cant be how real human people live nothing would ever get done and we would starve to death#people here like to say that ooh 20 is not an adult that doesn't count but like#if i was less of a dumbass i would be living if not on my own then not with my parents#and i cant imagine surviving like that#that might be part of why that didn't happen#i am straight up just not an independent person right now#i have been avoiding booking an appointment to cut my hair for half a month#and avoiding scheduling to pick up the piercings I Wanted for 2! maybe 3! i dont know anymore!#okay this ends here#not the moping the tags
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pea-brained-idiot · 2 years ago
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top 7 dermatologist-approved ways to never get to listen to Otherside by Lena Raine in the same way Ever Again.
(poor guy.)
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lipglossboy · 1 year ago
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honestly can we consider the circumstances surrounding Vickie returning fast times at ridgemond high with it paused on boobs?
So maybe she watched it and then went back to pause on that frame to stare at it. Questioning teen girl in the 80s it makes sense.
But then how did she not think to rewind before returning it that way? She has to know her peers work there and they'll be the ones to see it when they're doing rewinds?
Maybe it was like, she had it up and then oops her dad or boyfriend or someone shows up. Quickly! Take it out of the VHR before he sees! And then she forgot to rewind it before returning it. Or like, someone was doing her a favor and returned it for her before she could.
These passing details about Vicky make her low-key mysterious but I don't think it'll take us anywhere in canon (we don't have time for that anyway). She doesn't like, come across as mysterious but our collection of knowledge about her is interesting.
I kinda wanna characterize her as insecure and like, that's why she kind of tries to emulate molly ringwald lol. And that kind of gives some depth to the whole pausing on boobs thing. Just see her alone like struggling with these feelings (maybe for Robin!) and trying to test her own sexuality by staring at boobs lol. That makes the whole exchange in The War Zone more interesting too! Like she's struggling with her sexuality, specifically her feelings for Robin, and then suddenly Robin sees her being kissed by her boyfriend and she's like caught between these two worlds. The world with her boyfriend being kinda like, the familiar but increasingly unfitting, and the world of Robin being increasingly appealing yet scary and maybe even lonely (bc she only thinks her feelings are her own). But it doesn't feel lonely when she's actually With Robin! It feels all wrong, however, having those two worlds cross. They're not meant to. It's like even robin somehow knows since she runs away.
Also maybe Vickie's tendency to mimic out of an insecure sense of self is why in her nervous state she kind of emulates Robin.
Also don't get me started on her being casually in the War Zone? So much to unpack there. Is her boyfriend a big gun guy? She seemed pretty at home there lol enjoying herself. I forget if she was looking at something specific. Maybe someone in her family used to take her camping or taught her archery or something and she was Reminiscing while waiting for her bf to pick up whatever he needed. What did he need? Honestly who knows. I would say maybe he wanted to buy a gun bc recent events made him want to protect himself/Vickie, but she seemed so casual and chill it just wouldn't be fitting for that kind of shopping trip. I know the duffers like to play fast and loose with tone and the gravity of situations but I don't have to.
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davlucies · 2 years ago
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remember when imbalance came out and people managed to be upset griffin handled dav's perspective about cycle 92 & his relationship with lucretia with sensitivity, nuance, and realism
#imbalance#discourse wank#i'm still upset about this... people don't ever explore/care about how dav thinks/feels... all they care about is hating on lucretia#this was such a moving thing to hear articulated too... imagine saying you like dav but not caring what griffin says about/as him??#bc you'd rather see the sole canon woc vilified and insulted.. and all the complex moral and interpersonal issues in canon glossed over#i mean if my headcanons had been jossed more aggressively in imbalance maybe i'd be upset but idk. it's just more angst/meat to write abt!!#think of it as a good fun creativity-inducing thing!!! come write emotionally complex dav fics that engage w canon!!! please..anyone.... 🥺#there is so much interesting there & it's the worst feeling being alone in thinking that... and having no one to write for & talk to....#i miss when fandoms were fun & creative and like a positive thing. just liking the characters/story and chatting & making stuff about them#i still remember when imbalance happened and someone got mad at me for being happy about it bc of course... of course. it's a taz fan!#i couldn't even be happy about imbalance with anyone because my harmless ship is so bad and weird to every single taz fan! cool!!#they're fucking friends! he regrets not supporting her and letting her voice be heard! he thinks he shares some of the blame for it all!!#sorry but you can personally dislike a ship without collectively & baselessly gaslighting me that it's abusive bc of what you're projecting#i'd daresay after 100+ years of friendship davenport nd lucretia love each other deeply despite everything..imbalance propped that up a lot#but you don't even wanna write or read about that do you...#dav having emotionally grounded and complex thoughts and feelings? not in this fandom. lucy being treated kindly? banish the thought...#also davlucy is CUTE. they're nerds. they're hardworking and devoted to saving lives and to their friends. they care for each other !!
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xhda1449x · 1 year ago
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ok apparently 30 tags is the limit on tumblr and I'm putting it here because I couldn't put it in the tags
for my own curiosity, because my tragedy enjoying boggles the minds of a bunch of my irl social circle.
#poll is over but screw it i wanna rant#4 for me i think???#i don't feel like exposing my tastes too much but i usually need a good ending. or if not straight up good i need hope#like the few stories that made me unable to think about anything else for a while were all really dark#(by my standards i'm sure there's darker stuff out there)#with an ambiguous ending. but like. i prefer some closure. one book i read#it was very good and very famous but i will NOT name it here#had hopelessness as the whole point (specifically going against a system as an individual)#and it made me feel really bad for several weeks. like. i'm not mad about it. i think it was the point to make people uncomfortable#but also i kinda... need to be able to function in day to day life yknow. i can't be just thinking about amazing stories that broke me#i like angst. i'm finally in my emo phase. i want the characters to suffer but also win in the end. and if the suffering is really bad#that's probably the kind of dark fiction i enjoy. they don't even always have to win. i like it when something is basically#lost before you even start fighting#i guess it's about hope again (and having that hope crushed at the end)#but like. i still would prefer if it didn't end there and things slowly got better again#like i would say evangelion is pretty dark. but its ultimate ending was Good (I think. based on what i remember). things got Better#and then. sigh. euphoria is DEFINITELY dark and it ends just after they escape. the world isn't welcoming. they don't#have anywhere to go. but they are out and together. that's honestly one of my favorite endings ever#one of the reasons why i can't shut up about the gamd#game*#and my current favorite fanfiction has many dark elements but overall seems to be following the source material's progression#as in. things are Bad but they're not bad enough to stop trying. also it's set between two of the games#so like... no matter what happens i know how things end. which is comforting#and i guess i have to atleast mention this#kingdom hearts is light (ahahaahhahh) but also... it has a lot of fluff for sure. and i don't really like fluff for the sake of fluff#i honestly really enjoy it only in fanfics for stories where the characters don't get a break and you just want them to be happy for once#one of my guilty pleasures in fanfic is high school aus (i blame snk junior high for that)#it's stupid and the stakes are low but the characters are happy. and sometimes i need stuff like that#so like YEAH i guess i still prefer lighter stuff#but some dark stories are good. and others are good but i can't read them for my sanity's sake
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ozzgin · 4 months ago
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Just read your arranged marriage kidnapped by a most post and the humor in the servants always thinking reader is in peril. The same going for monster hubby (He just thinks they're submissive and breedable)
Like none of them realize they are a moster fucker cause they hide it so well. Like just imagining reader be like "oh be gentle with me I'm a dainty maiden" and then giving him the night of his life is hilarious. Or them having dinner and the servants feel bad for them cause monster hubby is eating human meat but their just thinking about other things he can use his tongue on.
Or maybe someone comes to rescue them from the terrible monster finally. But they don't wanna leave and instead fight the knight off. The knight thinks they've been brainwashed or something. Meanwhile the servants think the knight just wasn't good enough to rescue them.
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Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW! [Part 1] | [More Monsters]
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The servants are not blind by any means: they can tell, quite plainly, that their monstrous Lord has a soft spot for you. Not only that, but the beast nearly worships you! They've come up with many theories, the latest one involving witchcraft. Surely you must have some sort of magical trickery under your sleeve in order to subdue their Master. There's no other way around it. All previous humans have been devoured, or have died in a pitiful attempt to escape, terrified to the bone upon gazing at his blasphemous Majesty.
You can't blame them. It's probably better for everyone involved if you omit the fact that your source of witchcraft lies in your...genitals. Well, not just that, of course. Your husband had started to lose hope. His appreciation of humans never came to fruition before your arrival. He was expecting you to cower in fear, not throw yourself at him.
He wondered if you wanted something from him in return, but no one could possibly pretend so flawlessly: the way you clung to him unprompted. The way you hungrily took him in, tears welling in your eyes, refusing to let go until you could feel his load avalanching down your throat. The way you'd trap his hips with your legs, despite being weak and feverish, asking that he doesn't stop yet. If that wasn't proof enough, your whines and moans were loud and clear. To think he could have his own little human, one who isn't repulsed by his monstrous form. He would've been content with mere tolerance, yet someone who begged to be fucked by him? He's been delirious ever since.
He loves everything about you, naturally, but he can't deny the shameless addiction he's now developed towards your body. He'd pound you anywhere and anytime if he could. If he needs to leave for official matters, know that the return will burn in the back of his mind.
"An important date, Sir?" one traveling servant will ask, glancing at all the scribbles in the calendar.
"Indeed", he answers solemnly. It's the times when he can finally fuck you dumb.
While the servants worry about their devilish Master being put under leash, for the other fellow humans the opposite seems to be true. You recall your last "rescuing" attempt distinctly. During one of your evening walks, burly, foreign arms swept you off in an instant. Before you knew it, you were holding onto the armored shoulders of an unknown man, as he made his way out of the traditional garden.
"I'll get you out of here", he promised between heaving breaths.
You stared in confusion. What was he saving you from? A good dicking? No matter how much you explained that you do actually like your newly appointed husband, the hero wouldn't budge.
You ended up just walking back home when the man fell asleep.
"That was quite the long walk", your monster partner remarked, polishing his weapons.
"Oh no, I was kidnapped", you state casually. "Got us some fruits on the way back."
Would it have been better to lie about it? On one hand, you do feel terrible for whoever attempted to retrieve you from the claws of the tyrant. Your husband is very possessive, and you know he'll scorch the Earth until that treacherous pest is gutted and fed to the pigs.
On the other hand...he becomes particularly savage after such incidents. You won't be able to sit properly for the next few weeks, but it's worth it.
Tough luck, you tell yourself, lounging in bed with a satisfied smirk and torn apart hole.
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hoshigray · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇[𝐞𝐫]!! | t. fushiguro + s. ryōmen
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Next time, look around the area before you say you find a serial killer attractive. Because you’re about to see what mess your words will have you end up in — and your clothes all torn up.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: serial killers! Toji + Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - age gap (the reader is in their early 20s) - porn with plot - oral (f! + m! receiving) - threesome - double penetration; anal (first time) & vaginal - restricted movement (hands tied up) - face-sitting - cowgirl dp positions - gun + knife play - choking - spanking - unprotected sex - overstimulation - degradation (brat, broad, slut, whore) - pet names (baby, dollface, good girl, pet, princess) - blackmail/threats - the reader is in an established relationship w/ Nanami - mentions of blood, tears, spit, and drool.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.6k (told you, porn with plot, lol)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: uhhhh happy Friday the 13th, everybody???? blame @ramonathinks for this idea (jk, don't, she's so amazing, ty for pushing me into this, mona bear ♡ and tysm for beta reading; your thoughts mean the world). Haven't done a fic in two months sooooo go easy on me!! Not proofread, so I'll fix stuff l8rrrr
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“No.”
“Oh, come on, Y/n! Just answer the question!”
“You’re so fucking sick, you know that!?” You glare at your friend, who slumps on the booth chair with a heavy sigh. 
A slight breeze tickles your skin through your comfortable sweatshirts as the leaves on the trees slowly change to autumnal colors, and Halloween decor is already adorning every house and every yard. It was a warm and sunny afternoon on this pleasant Friday. Usually, you’d be cozied up in your apartment enjoying yourself, probably catching up on some horror flicks you missed last year. 
But alas, that was not the case. Because you’re a college student. As October has finally rolled around, only one thing prevents you from enjoying this beautiful season — midterms. The thought of it is enough to pull you into a pool of dread. Every day has been one whirlwind after another. Yet, on the bright side, all you have now is one last exam to worry about, and you’ll finally be able to rest this weekend. So here you are, at the diner with your best friend, Shoko Ieiri, completing your papers while eating off your plates to satiate the stress. For the most part, things were going smoothly.
Until the news anchor on the television at the bar relays an announcement… 
“…Once again, everyone, please be on the lookout for these two killers on the loose. Three weeks ago, the two recently escaped from their cells, killed three guards, and are still at large. There have been accounts around the state that reported recent sightings of either or both criminals, the recent one being in this county 27 hours ago. So, please, stay safe. The killers are identified to be…”
And Shoko, being the curious person she is, asks you a question that stops your fingers from typing on your laptop: “Do you find those killers hot?” 
That’s how you two end up where you are now, groaning at the brunette’s persistence in getting your approval to find two criminals — murderers, even! — attractive. 
“Hey, Y/n, I know you hear me.” Shoko snaps their fingers at you while you try to get the assignment done. “Just answer the question: don’t you think those guys are hot.”
“We didn’t come all this way for you to talk about your hybristophilia fantasies.” Facing the Word document, you remind your friend why you’re here in the first place. “Just get back to writing; I wanna finish this and get home.” There’s nothing said afterward for a few seconds, thinking she has finally given up.
However, “First of all,” your eyes close to conceal them rolling behind the lids. “I’m not into hybristophilia; I just know a hot guy when I see one. Second, look at their mugshots. Like, damn, you’ve ever seen anyone so intimidatingly good-looking before? Come on, have a look!”
“You’re such a weirdo,” the click-clacking of your fingertips tapping your keyboard fills the rest of your answer. 
Still, she persists. “Y/n, look at the phoooone~”
No words, only tapping keys.
“Y/n?”
The keys become louder. 
“Pretty, pretty, pleaseeeee~?” 
Louder.
“Y/n!!”
A fist bangs on the booth table as the other closes the laptop shut, sending another glare to the person across from you who holds the phone up. You’ve had it at this point, so you say with a steady breath, “If I look at the dumb mugshots and answer your dumb question, will your dumbass leave me alone and finish your work?” The brunette only puts the phone on the table and slides it your way, giving you big doe eyes and whimpers like a hurt puppy. You sigh with your nostrils as you snatch the phone up, your gaze stationed on the images presented.
The image displayed two mugshots: on the left was a man with raven hair and a scar on the left of his lip. Intense, forest-green orbs contrast the black strands that cover his forehead. The mugshot letter board below him is labeled as "Toji Fushiguro." The one on the right is another man with spiky salmon-colored hair pushed upfront with prominent black tattoos decorating his nose, cheeks, and forehead. The board named him as “Sukuna Ryōmen.”
You look at the pictures intently, examining the men’s features at your discretion. It didn’t occur to you how long you were gawking at the mugshots until you peered from the phone to see Shoko give you the biggest shit-eating grin. Shaking your head, you chew the inside of your cheek before responding.
“….Well,” you cough. “…they’re not terrible looking at all. They are…..hot.”
“Told you!” Shoko slams the table with high enthusiasm, earning another sigh from you as she snatches the phone back. “Would you fuck them?”
You almost popped a vein. What the fuck—“is wrong with you!?” 
“It’s just a question, geez.” She holds her hands up defensively. “Or is that too lewd and raunchy to ask the partner of the trusting, charismatic “Golden Boy” SGA president, Kento Nanami?”
You choke on your spit before you can say anything, and your cheeks dial in warmth. “S-Shut up! Don’t bring my love life into whatever deviant horny thoughts you’re thinking!”
“I’m sorry, I’m boreeeeeeed. I don’t wanna do this paper, ugh.” The brunette whines and bangs their forehead on the table surface; your eyes roll for the fifteenth time in the past three hours. “…Maybe I should get some dick after this.”
“For fuck’s sake, I’m going to use the restroom.” 
You exit the dining booth when they give you a muffled response of anguish, straightening yourself and heading for the back of the diner. As you walked away, you noticed a pair of hooded figures sitting at the booth behind you. Realization kicks in, and you groan internally. Oh, God, they probably heard what we were talking about! But what caught your mind next was that one of them had a black mark on the bridge of their nose. Huh, what an odd tattoo…
After using the toilet, you wash your hands at the sink, but your mind is still fixated on that weird tattoo. Who would get such a thing on their face? Wouldn’t that hurt? I wonder if that’s the only tatt— And then It clicked, you quickly turn off the faucet and dry your hands, exit the rest restroom, and run to your booth. Shoko was begrudgingly typing away on their laptop until she saw you return in a hurry. 
“Hey, you okay?” She asks you, but you aren’t looking at them. Your face contoured to a confused expression as you stared at the booth behind the one you were sitting in, now empty. 
“Did…..The two people who sat behind us, did you see them?” 
“Hmm? No, I didn’t. Must’ve left while my head was on the table.”
“Uh huh…” you say nothing more as you slowly sit back in front of your laptop. Your mind is now clouded with confusing thoughts, questioning your experience up until now. It could be a coincidence, quite far out at that. Regardless, you could’ve sworn you saw that tattoo on the Sukuna guy that Shoko showed you. It was such an uncommon decor, especially since you just saw it on the face of a criminal. Not to mention, the news anchor earlier stated that those two killers were in this exact county…
Needless to say, you didn’t touch your keyboard for about twenty minutes. Your mind was too wrapped up elsewhere to think clearly about your school assignment, and your body harbored a disturbing chill worse than the soft autumn winds.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“…So, why are you researching about the loose killers again?”
“Hm? Oh,” you stop typing on the laptop to attend to the phone call you’re on. Exiting your bedroom, you walk to the living room. “No reason, I was just curious. I saw something about them on the news at the diner with Shoko.”
The person on the other side of the line hums. “You should be careful about stuff like that.”
“Yeah, I know, Kenty,” you open the sliding door to your balcony and close it behind you before taking a seat on the cream-colored swing chair.
“I’m very serious, Y/n.” It was none other than Kento Nanami who was speaking with you. The trustworthy “Golden Boy” of your class year, the circumspect president of the Student Government Association… your loving and attentive boyfriend.
"I know you are."
"And those guys aren't just any usual criminals. They're notorious killers who barge into people's homes at night to steal valuable things. Maybe even kill their victims in their sleep if they have the time. So, be very careful, okay? Can’t trust these streets at night, especially now with those guys on the run. So, don’t go anywhere alone, always have your pepper spray on you, and be sure everything is locked — doors, windows, everything.”
A deep sigh leaves your lips. “Yeah, I double-checked all the locks once I got inside.” 
No one says a word; the rustling of the trees and the beeping of cars from the traffic at the light substitute this awkward silence. Until Nanami says, “….You scared?”
You don’t answer immediately, your mind flashing back to the bewildering encounter at the diner earlier today. Those two hooded men, one with a black tattoo on his face. It felt too surreal to feel like a coincidence, yet it wasn’t too far out of your mind to think as such. The timing was strange, with the news reporter and your conversation with Shoko. The thought of two murderers nonchalantly being in the same space as you rub you off in the worst way imaginable. “…Kinda, yeah. A bit spooked.”
“You want me to come up there and spend the night?”
“No, no! You don’t have to do that,” you hurriedly decline his proposal. “I know you’re busy with homework and student government stuff. I wouldn’t want you moving around so much; I’d feel bad.”
You hear him chuckle on the other side of the phone, and your heart swoons at the sound. “Don’t feel bad; you could never be a burden to me, especially when your safety is my top priority.” Another skip of the beat; it’ll never fail to amaze you how sweet he is with his words.
“Thank you, Kenty. But still, I know you’ve got a lot on your hands. You don’t have to see me right this moment. Besides, isn’t Haibara supposedly dragging you to some party at Geto’s?” Nanami is silent for a few seconds before he groans; a smile creeps up on your face at his reaction.
“Unfortunately, yes. I have to leave to pick him up, and then we can go…But I can cancel and come o—“
“Absolutely not.” You’re quick to interject. “You’ve been so high and on edge with your exams. This is the first party after midterm week. And I can bet my left toe that Gojo — cause you know he’ll be there if Geto is — will be upset you couldn’t make it.”
“…….Which one?”
“Excuse me?”
“You have five toes on your left foot, so which one—“
“Kento.” He chuckles once more for your ears to hear at the use of his real name. “Have fun, okay?”
Nanami hums. “I’ll try. I’ll come by your place Sunday. Sounds good?”
“Perfect. Take some pics for me. Love you!”
Your boyfriend bids you farewell before ending the call, already missing his voice. A yawn creeps out from you, a sign that you are indeed fatigued and need rest. Leaving the balcony, you close the door and do a final check at your door. Confirmed that it’s locked and secured, you turn off the living room lights and head back to your bedroom to get some shut-eye. 
You shut off and close your laptop on your desk before turning off the lights. Then, you lift the comforter and finally enter the chilly embrace of your bedsheets.  Usually, you’d scroll on your phone for a little bit until you get drowsy enough to fall asleep. Yet — it could be because of the exam you were doing at the diner — you felt way more exhausted than usual and wanted to sleep right away. And you did just that: closed your eyes, listened to the calming rhythm of your breaths, and soon drifted into an anticipated slumber.
….Three Hours Later….
The next time you open your eyes, you’re not in the room you left yourself in — let alone the bed. 
Instead, you find yourself somewhere cold and dark. Your bed is nowhere in sight, just a lone chair facing you. There are no windows, no desks, just you and this chair with a sole overhead light that almost blinds you when you slowly get up. 
The change of scenery throws you off as one thought after another picks up the pace of confusion. Where am I? What is this place? This has to be a sick dream of mine…Wait a minute. You look down to find your pajamas are shriveled and torn up, pieces of the material scattered all over where you’re lying on the cold floor. Also, what the fuck!? You can’t seem to move your hands and feet, noticing that there’s some rope restricting your limbs from moving freely from one another. No matter how hard you try, squirming does little to no help, yet it confirms that this is not a dream.
What the absolute fuck is going on right now!? It was an appropriate question for this perplexing situation, not knowing where to pick up from to start picking clues as to why you’re here. Better yet, who brought you here?
“Ah, look who’s awake.”
You turn to the sound of a door opening and closing; the direction it came from makes it hard to register the distance of whoever was speaking to you. However, that doesn’t matter because you can hear footsteps approaching you and a figure stepping into the light. And when the face finally comes to your field of vision, your blood shifts into an immediate icy cold.
Standing to you by the chair was a man in a tight black shirt that exhibited his muscular arms and physique way too perfectly, harboring dark and baggy pants. But those weren’t the features that had your breath hitch. No, no. The man before you had raven hair with the length stopped to his ears and strands that covered his brows. They did not even try concealing the striking green eyes that looked straight at you. And the familiar scar at the right of his lip put everything together for you — the mugshot that Shoko showed me, the inmate that escaped prison…!
Toji Fushiguro, in the flesh, takes a seat on the chair with his legs spread while putting on black gloves. He notices your look of realization and smirks; you don’t like how his scar is rooted up with the motion. “Y’re a pretty heavy sleeper, ya know that. But I guess that made bringing you here a lil’ simple.” 
A tiny bit of confidence prompts you to speak with the man. “Whe–Where am I?”
“C’mon now, little girl,” your stomach churns when he scoffs at you. He brings up a hand to help him as he cracks his neck. God, why is he so jacked!!? “Y’re supposed to be smart, right? You know that’s the wrong question to ask me.” 
Okay then, think, Y/n, think… ”…Why did you kidnap me? Is it for money? Because I don’t have much—“ The palm of Toji’s hand faces you to halt you from speaking more, making your nervousness dwell even further. 
“For one, you should really consider locking your balcony door when y’re done using it.” There are not enough words to describe the mental facepalm you gave yourself. “If we wanted to run y’r pockets, we woulda done so earlier.” He casually admits to you. “But that’s not why we brought ya here, so he’ll explain it to ya.”
He? Wait, wait, we??
The other mugshot hits you like a flash before you hear the door open and close again. Of course, Toji isn’t the only one on the run right now. There was another guy with salmon-colored hair and tattoos. The other figure, now wearing a black tank tee and ripped black jeans, came from behind Toji. Your stomach drops to the floor when your eyes land on the prominent black tattoo on his nose — now seeing that he has way more on his face, shoulders, arms, and wrists. The scene from the diner replays until your brain can’t keep up. It was him, no doubt about it.
“Well, well. Did the sleeping beauty finally get their rest?” Sukuna Ryōmen, looks just as [if not more] dangerous as Toji. He stuffs his hand into the back of his jeans pocket. “Listen here, I’ll be asking you some questions, and I expect nothing but honest answers. Got that?” 
You don’t know what possessed you to ask the question. You being scared shitless right now should’ve prevented you from doing so. And yet, you ask, “And if I don’t?”
It happened way too fast; your eyes couldn’t even process it happening. But one moment, the salmon-haired criminal was standing in front of you beside Toji. The next, you feel someone crouched behind you with the cold feeling of something barely piercing your skin. Your eyes widen, and you don’t dare move a single hair. Toji shakes his head at you, the smirk on his face still present. Now you can guess who had fun cutting up your PJs.
“I don’t think you wanna know the answer to that question.” He says it so close to your ear that you could’ve nearly fainted. Sukuna then moves the knife to scrape the side of your neck. “And don’t you ever think you’re in a position to ask me questions. Use that college brain of yours, brat.” 
You gulp — a risky move when you have a sharp object to your neck — and nod. Satisfied, the pink-haired man removes the knife from your proximity and stands right up. “At least you follow things quickly.” He says while walking back to where he stood prior. “Now, question one: do you know a kid named Kento Nanami?” 
The mention of your boyfriend’s name hits you like whiplash. Kento? What do they want with him!?
“…Yes, I do.”
“Good. Next question,” You chew the inside of your lip before he asks you the following. “Where does he live?”
Your body almost shuts down when he says the final word. No. No, no, no! Absolutely not! “I can’t tell you that.”
“Tch, just when you were doin’ so good.” Sukuna sucks his teeth. “And why the hell not?”
“Because I don’t want you hurting him.”
He barks a laugh. “You don’t even know what we’ll do to him! Damn, talk about a loyal dog.” 
The insult sparked a flame in you. It was a small one, but a flame nonetheless. “Why the hell do you want to know anyway? It’s not like he knows you any—Hrckk!”
“What the hell did I say about you asking questions, huh.” A hurried hand meets your throat, black nails digging into your skin as his grip gets unbearably tight. You attempt to keep a stern face despite choking for some air, but you’d be lying that the pain wasn’t getting to your head.
“Alright, Kuna, let ‘em go.” You almost forgot about Toji sitting on the chair until he spoke up. With a displeased click of the tongue, Sukuna releases you and throws you to the cold, hard floor. “For your information, princess, that kid does know us.”
You’re coughing up a storm, but you still listen. Your eyes are watery, and your throat pulses. “Hic…Ack, what—What are you talking about?”
Toji continues. “That little friend of y’rs is the reason why we were behind bars for three years. Fuckin’ kid saw us break into a house in his neighborhood and called the cops on us. For the longest time, we’ve thought about getting out of those damn cells and coming back to rip that lil’ fucker limb from limb. Maybe ransack his whole home and then some.” 
“And now that we are out here,” Sukuna chimes in. “We plan on doing just that. We were sitting right behind you at the diner and heard the brown-haired chick say his name, meaning he had to be around this county. And when he heard that fucking square had a little girlfriend, who better to introduce ourselves and point us the way than you.” 
So much information hits you all at once that you’re not given enough time to process it properly. Nanami called the cops on these guys? Where was that piece of information on the phone call!!? Three years ago, it must’ve happened before the start of freshman year. And then there’s the matter of these murders trying to kill him — the love of your life! 
You immediately try to weigh your options: you could give them a fake address, but that would lead them back to you and have you killed instead. And Nanami doesn’t live at home right now; he’s on campus with you and everyone else. So, sharing these two his home address will just have his family killed in his place! Oh, you wouldn’t handle that guilt; you just couldn’t!!
“So, what’ll it be, little girl?” Toji’s voice snaps you from your rampant thoughts. “You can be a cute girlfriend and be loyal, and we’ll just kill you right here, right now. Or, you give us an address, we’ll put you back to sleep, and you’ll never see from us ever again.” 
Those two options were far from what you wanted to do. You would never want to jeopardize your poor boyfriend’s life and those around him for being a model citizen, especially for these assholes! There had to be a way, something you could do!
“Please, don’t hurt him!” The ropes on your hands and feet have you shuffle to look at the two men from the dirty ground. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Please just spare him!”
“No-can-do, brat.” Sukuna comes down to your level once more, yanking your shirt — or whatever’s left of it, your bra practically out for the whole world to see — to lift your upper body. “Nothing to ease a vengeful spirit than taking care of the problem, right? So do us a favor, will ya.” 
Tears are fighting your control to fall, your body trembling. You’re scared, so so frightened. But most of all, you’ll do what you can to make sure your “golden boy” stands tall for you. “Please, I’ll do anything! Anything you want, I’ll do it! So, please!!” 
Sukuna opens his mouth to bite back, but no words come out. Actually, his expression resorts back to a neutral tone. He then turns to Toji, who looks at him with a quirked brow. There’s nothing but silence between the two, a silent conversation between the two killers that you have no choice but to stay quiet for. And you jerk when the two focus back on you. Sukuna then finally says something.
“Anything, huh?” It’s the worst when he sneers at you. Such a devious man. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Tch. Fucking brat.” Sukuna sucks his teeth before he snatches your chin with a rough vigor, forcing your teary eyes to face him. And it doesn’t help that you now have a gun pointed at your temple. “This is your warning. You better do this right, or you’ll be the first to get a gift with your boyfriend’s head all minced up. Now, use that mouth. Properly.”
Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you’d end up here. You stood on your knees and hands on the concrete floor, your mouth occupied with Sukuna’s cock, propelling your face to and fro to meet the base. Why the handgun to your head? According to the salmon-haired man, he said: “Try to fight, run, or bite our dicks off, then this whole mag is getting emptied.” So, you’re literally giving the fellatio of your life. And judging by the grunts coming from Sukuna, it seems you’re doing a decent job keeping him going. 
As for the other one, Toji, his hands grabbing onto your asscheeks from beneath should answer that. “C’mon, baby, sit on my face. I don’t bite…” you can tell he has the biggest grin on his face saying that, has you hesitant to follow orders. Regardless, you gently sway your ass down to sit on his face. But impatience gets the best of him before he pulls you down himself, his nose abruptly hitting your clitoris. You jolt despite his hands keeping you on him, forced to feel his tongue and mouth indulging on your wet folds.
So there you sit, bare and nude, for the men to use you as they see fit. Whatever piece of your clothes were torn off you to be fully exposed for them. This is what you choose to do for the sake of your boyfriend: giving yourself off for the night. 
Oh, if Shoko could see you now. Sucking off one of the exact murderers you two were talking about at the diner while the other eats you out? You know you’ll never hear the end of it from her if — by some miracle — she finds out! And you’ll hold onto that miracle for as long as you can. 
“…Fuuuck, hnngh! It’s been a minute since I had my dick on something tight,” Sukuna comments while putting his free hand on your head. His thrusts increase to have your tongue bathe the underside of his dick, and he sighs at you choking when the tip suddenly hits your uvula. “Heh, that’s right. Keep those tears coming, pet…You seem to be enjoying yourself there, Fushiguro. This broad taste that fucking good—Ohhh shit, fucking shit…”
You can feel Toji’s lips curve into a smile from down under, he gives your labia and clit a slow and antagonizing lick before responding to his partner in crime. “Mmmm, man. It’s been a while since I had to do this. Crazy how this princess got with a square like that kid. Wonder if he makes ‘em feel good like this.” And then he returns to your clit to give it a harsh suck. 
Your body continues to be used like a toy. Your jaw loosens to oblige Sukuna’s girth that’s currently hitting the back of your throat every time your lips meet the pubes of his pelvis. His ruts dial-up, and you ball your fists with the constant oral abuse on your face. Drool runs down your chin with every shove of his length, practically choking you with his dick. And the commotion between your leaking vulva and Toji doesn’t go unnoticed either; motherfuker’s tongue is relentless, making sure every crevice and part of your pussy is familiar with him. And the sounds of him slurping your essence are so lewd, so erotic for your ears that you think they’re bound to explode on you. 
“—Ahhh, damn, I’m gonna cum,” Oh, God. Your eyes open to look at Sukuna’s expression, nothing but pure enjoyment looking at your pitiful look. “You’re cute looking all pathetic taking my cock like this, whore—Mmmph!! Shiiiit, keep your head like that.” He grabs your head as his thrusts speed up to an irregular pace, your throat and face becoming numb. Your whimpers are muffled, and tears streak down your cheeks. His groans of pleasure fill the room, and before you know it, his load is released down to the depths of your throat. You’re stuck taking it, mewling on the shaft still in your mouth until he’s finished. 
He removes you when he is, his cock slathered in your saliva and still rock hard. You gawk at it, amazed that you could fit it in your mouth. And you hate to admit this, but it has you wondering what Toji’s is like. 
Speaking of, with a foggy mind, you peer down to see Toji finally done eating your cunt out. “Ya taste good, you know that.” He licks his lips provocately with a smile. You open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. “You ready fr’ me now?” He cocks his chin up, and you turn to see what he’s talking about, only to be met with the pinkish-red tip of his sprung erect cock. If you didn’t think you’d be able to have Sukuna’s in your mouth, you’re going to need a diety’s grace to see what you can do with Toji’s. “Heh, think I’m too big fr’ you? How the hell is Kento handling a piece like you?”
“S–Shut up, stop bringing him up!” You shout at him, tired of being reminded of the love of your life whom you’re betraying right now. All for his sake, but still…
He chuckles at your reaction. “Little girl got spark, huh. Fine then, be a doll and put it in yourself.” 
Cold sweat slides from your brow. Me? I’ve gotta put that shit in on my own!? But you have to. You know you do. So, with anxiousness pooling in your stomach, you bring your ass up and use your hand to align his cock to your wet cunt. 
It takes a lot of mental motivation for you to continue, but slowly and surely, you push the folds of your cunt onto his glans. The pain you experience makes it excruciating to bear, but with steady breaths, you push the tip in with every exhale. And when it finally enters your vulva, a gasp erupts from your puffy lips and a hiss from the man with the scarred lip. “Mmmm, slow down, baby, slow it down…” That was probably the only words he’s ever said that you could trust, so you anchor your ass down, taking in every inch of his length with his hands guiding your ass down. When you reach the base, you give yourself a few seconds to adjust to his girth within your velvety walls. “Fuck, ya feel so nice and tight, princess.”
“Is that so?” Sukuna walks from behind. “Can’t wait for me to have a go.” You couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of that sentence because the salmon-haired one kicked your back. You are now mounted on Toji completely, the two of you facing each other while Sukuna crouches behind your ass. “Get ready, I’m putting it in.”
“Huh?” Wait, both at the same time!? “Ho–Hold on, I’ve never done it in my ass bef—“
“Doesn’t sound like a problem to me; guess I’ll be the first then,” he shuts down your argument and then bends down to use his fingers and spit to ease your asshole. It feels so gross and repulsive that you could puke right now. Not that it would matter to Sukuna because he’s already set on doing it — his fore and middle finger pushing in and out of your anus. When he feels you’ve loosened up, he’ll remove his digits and substitute them with his cock. 
And he doesn’t warn you either, fucking bastard; he nudges his dick in his own countdown with no regard to how you’re feeling. Gripping onto the raven-haired man’s black shirt, Sukuna’s cock puts you through pain worth traumatizing, evoking screams that scratch your throat until he gets the whole thing in your ass. Nanami would never put you through this much pain. Never!
“Aww, y’re making the pretty girl cry,” Toji teases condescendingly, chuckling at the sight of you burying your head in his chest to shield the embarrassment. 
Sukuna hums while grinding his hips to your ass, a tiny bit of blood painting his shaft. “Hmph, good, makes my enjoyment worthwhile. Now,” you shriek with the sudden snap of his hips to your ass. “Let’s get this show started.”
When Sukuna moves, Toji follows right after, and you’re left to fend for yourself in this unsteady tempo from both your holes. You start seeing stars from the unusual stimulation, and your mind and vision become so blurry that it hurts to think. Hell, it hurts to try and concentrate on one dick at a time! One is currently scraping the wells of your walls in a way that your slit clenches around him, while the other churns your insides from the back that almost takes your breath away. More drool and tears seep into the black shirt you use to disguise yourself from them. This shit is already humiliating as is!
“C’mon now, baby. Show me that pretty face of y’rs.” Of course, Toji uses one hand to nudge your head to look at him. Your face is such a wet and hot mess, the sweat on your body making you sticky. The attempt to make sentences is beyond you, relying on moans and choked sobs to express your disorganized emotions. “There ya are. Good fuckin’ girl.”
Toji then takes your plump lips with his, his hand snaking to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. It was one thing letting them use your cunt and ass as they see fit; now, they dare to kiss you in a time like this. Oh, this is the absolute worst! How can you speak to Nanami ever again after this!? These lips are now sullied by the lips and cock of other men. You can’t ever go back and say that you were his, and it’s because of these assholes!!
…And what’s worse, you were starting to find enjoyment in what you were doing, sinking into Toji’s kiss and moaning into his scarred lips.
“Haahh…Mmmph…Damn, this slut is so fucking tight.” Sukuna watches your back glisten in the light while your ass quaked under his unstable momentum. He sneers before slapping your asscheek, resulting in a rushed moan and a twitch from your pussy. Toji breaks the kiss. “Hey, keep doing that. Think they like it.” 
With devilish glee, the tattooed other doesn’t hold back. He gives you another smack to the ass, and more loud purrs and shrieks fill the space between you three. Fast ruts to your soaping slit and ass coincide with the strikes to your butt, catching you off guard and leaving a stinging sensation every time. 
It’s apparent now that your hips start to move on their own, riding out your own high while preparing for your orgasm that’s climbing up. And the raven-haired man notices as he puts your hand on your aching buttcheeks. “Goin somewhere, dollface?” 
Oh, for fuck’s sake, let me come already!! “—Ahhnn, ooohhhh!! I’m about to cummm—I’m gonna break—Eeyahhh!!!
“That so?” You want to wipe that smirk off his stupid, dumb, handsome face. “Then go ahead and get dirty, princess. Ring us up.”
Your arousal staggers up when both of their thrusts fall into a unity, the tender spots of your gummy walls from your ass and cunt being hit and abused prompt more ecstatic moans and your head pounding with every jab. Almost there, almost! Please, please, I want it!! And you are finally given what you want; your release crashes into you in a hard swoop, the shocks crawling up your body while your holes contract around both men’s cocks. Your brain falls into an erotic trance; you only care about the euphoric sensations tingling around your body. Dizziness overtakes you, and your head descends back on Toji’s chest.
“Hmph, you really a pathetic pet.” Sukuna grinds his pelvis into your sensitive ass. The aftershocks from your release still make your body react to their movements. “Chasing for your own orgasm, huh. We outta fuck that selfishness right out of you, damn brat…”
You don’t say anything — more like you don’t have the energy to. Your ass and chasm are too stuffed to keep your mind active, and your eyelids feel too heavy to keep up. It probably was from all that crying and screaming. All you want to do is go back to sleep in your bed at your cozy apartment. But that must be asking for too much. Just please end this nightmare…
Kenty…Please forgive me, I’m so sorry….
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
You can’t remember how sleep found you that night. But your eyes open to the ray of sunshine that peaks through the binds of your bedroom. Wait, my bedroom!?
You shoot up from your bed, the soft comforter and sheets peeling off your skin, and the cool air from the air conditioning welcomes you back to your personal space. Everything untouched, everything where it’s supposed to be — where you’re supposed to be.
A deep breath is the first thing you do when you wake up, following a long exhale. Was I dreaming? You would’ve accepted that delusion had you not looked down to realize that your figure was covered with one of your oversized shirts, remembering that your old pajamas were cut and torn up. Flashes of last night return to haunt you, and shivers travel down your spine from realizing what transpired at those ungodly hours. You quickly check your sheets for any stains — Thank God, none. Funny how a pair of serial killing assholes have the decency to clean up your body. 
And then a sudden feeling of dread crawls up after hearing your phone vibrating on your nightstand. You hurry to check the screen to find out it was a text message from Nanami. It’s a Saturday, 9 a.m. He’d usually be sleeping in until noon. Curious, you unlock your phone to check what your boyfriend is texting you about.
Recent Message from: ♡ my bby nanamiii ♡
Hey, Y/n. Hope you slept well and everything’s okay. I’m coming from Geto’s place after picking up Haibara, who is going through the worst hangover right now. He said he wants to see you and that you make the best meals for his hangovers. I don’t want to intrude if you’re not up for guests, so please tell me so I can take him somewhere else. But otherwise, we’ll be there at around 30-45 mins. Let’s just relax this weekend, okay?
Reading the text as you fall in love with him all over again. After what you’ve gone through, knowing that he’s safe and sound from any trouble, all you want right now is to be around him and hold him close. To be with him and forget about everything that’s happened. 
You send a heartwarming reply saying you’ll be waiting for the two of them. Then, you remove yourself from the bed and stretch out your fatigued muscles. Ugh, I should probably shower before Nananmi gets here…
However, before you lift your shirt and head for the bathroom, you notice a glass of water and a bag full of pills. Huh…I definitely didn’t have that there when I went to sleep before I was taken. And next to the glass was a folded piece of paper. Curiosity got the best of you this morning as you picked up the material to read its contents. 
And this is where you knew your life was changing, for better or worse. Your legs give out, making you fall to your knees with a shaky breath, the hairs of your body standing, and your heart on the verge of leaping out of your mouth. What you read crushed your whole being, leaving you cold in this world — worse than the autumn breeze.
Yo, thanks for the great time last night. Keep that up, and your pretty boytoy will keep standing. Here’s water and birth control, and keep that bag safe. Wouldn’t wanna end up losing it for the next time we fuck you dumb. See ya later, pet.
SR + TF
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♱ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly <3 header art by rororgi mogera + dividers by the amazing @/cafekitsune!!
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arggghhhsstuff · 16 days ago
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First of: readers are able to differentiate fiction from reality. And what they enjoy in fiction doesn't have much to do with their life. It's not because someone is a slasher movie fan that they kill people, it's not because someone read hardcore smut that they get any action. So when say that fanfiction makes rape 'more normal' in the eyes of rapists I don't follow. They know it's illegal, they just don't care.
If we want to stop rape there are many things to do. Educate people. Teach kids about their bodies and consent so they know when something is wrong. Make sure the justice system does its fucking job and doesn't let rapists walk away without concerns. I can assure you fanfiction is the least of our problems now.
And even if it was fanfiction's fault. What do you want to do? Control what people post on the internet? Put a cop behind every computer, spending their whole day reading porn to figure out if it's non-con or not? That won't work. Because it's stupid, yes, but more importantly because nothing good comes out when the government tries to police the arts. What people like, think and create. And you might not like it and you might find it disgusting and wrong but it's still art. It's people writing what they want. Free will, freedom of speech and all that jazz. And if our government officers have that power, the power to get rid of everything they don't like on the stance that it's "morally wrong", what's next? I'll let you take a fat fucking guess on who the government doesn't like in America today.
The only media you can reasonably talk about controlling when it comes to sex is porn videos, because they include actual real-life people and sometimes these people are getting hurt. That's when it gets concerning and dangerous. When people get hurt. Which is not happening with words on a screen.
But forget all that, let's say that fanfiction depicting non-con or unhealthy relationship dynamics or pedophilia or I don't know what else is influencing people to do the same in real life. What can we do about it? Genuinely. What can we do about it. This has been a discussion in the arts communities for centuries and here's my answer: the artist is not responsible for that the public takes from their art. An art piece is never neutral, it's always saying something, yes. But the interpretation is still up to the guy seeing it. If a guy reads a hermione x snape fanfiction and decides to fuck a kid, well sorry to break it to you but that has nothing to do with the author, and everything to do with that guy wanting to fuck a kid.
i love being a pro-shipper. it's fun. people will be disgusted by something they think is morally wrong and i'll be like "it's all in your head though"
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sweetiecakesss · 7 months ago
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Perversions | Inumaki Toge (18+)
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Synopsis: Just as you thought he was you're innocent friend, he accidentally dropped a bomb that would change everything. Turning him into someone full of lust and hunger for you.
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇Tags: Inumaki, Modern! AU, Fingering, Over Stimulation, Manipulation, Pussy Eating, Perverted Inumaki, Pussyjob, Tit Sucking, Unprotected Sex (Wrap it before ya tap it!)
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇Note: I know I created a poll as to who to write for this trope but fucking hell! I wanna write Perverted Ijichi so bad! Nobody will read it but imma still write it soon cause gyat damn! That man is attractive and sexy in all the right places!
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It was creepy…
That's what you thought everytime you would notice you lost a few undergarments whenever you were goong to wash your dirty laundry. What's more bothersome is how all the missing undergarments were…
Expensicve and…
Used. Unwashed.
Bothered by all of this, you brought it up to your childhood friend Inumaki. Inviting him over to your place, in the guise of wanting him to keep you company for the night due to the fear of actually having a stalker. "You don't understand, 'maki…It's creepy…" You let out as you voiced your concerns to him, urging him to listen to you attentively as he drank the can of beer you offered him.
"Did you change your locks?" He asked. Looking at him you nodded.
"I did! After that…the only people I would invite is you and the others and maybe a few one night stands from the bar…" You explained, sharp purple eyes looking back at you as he took a sip of his drink with his hands resting on the inside of the pockets of his jacket. Listening to your rants.
You're so fucking gullible. He thought.
Gullible was a softer word to what you were, more like downright stupid for not even noticing it was him who stole all your used underwear, Stupid of you to not notice how they would only dissapear whenever he came over but he can't blame you entirely…He was just lucky you would invite other people over right after him, clearing his tracks perfectly.
As he continued to listen to you, he can't help but subtly smile to himself as he rubbed the pad of his thumb over the white smear of dried cum on your panties that he just stole earlier when you were in the bathroom.
Imagining how your pussy would feel, how wet would you be as he rubbed his fingers over your clit. Would you moan his name? whimper for him? ask for him to use like how he would thrust his cock in his hand with your panties wrapped around the tip of his cock? Just the thought of it alone made him hard.
"Hey.." He called out to you as he walked forward and placed the can of beer on top of the countertop. Looking at him, you raised your brow.
"Gotta go and take a shit, I'll be back." He let out an excuse to which you looked at him with a bothered look.
"Didn't have to know that but sure…" You responded to which Inumaki turned around to head to the bathroom.
But as he took a step, removing his hand from pocket of his jacket…It fell to the ground. Your eyes widening as you saw your red laced underwear, looking up you saw that Inumaki was already staring at you.
"That's…" You started as he bended down and grabbed your panties from the ground before stuffing them in his pockets again, as he then took heavy steps and walked towards you. His height looming over you, making you keep your gaze down to his feet as you avoided looking up at him and noticing a bulge in his pants.
He then gently reached for your hand as he placed the palm of your hand over his throbbing boner. As he felt your hand over his clothed cock, Inumaki can't help but let out a whimper as he leaned forward and placed his forhead on your shoulder, guiding your hand up and down, getting off of your touch.
"Y/N…" He whimpered your name. "Am sorry--nghh-- You'll forgive me right?…" He added as he leaned forward to kiss you on your cheek, you knew what he was doing. He was distracting you but god was it working, You liked the man from since both of you hit your puberty.
You were standing there, frozend and confused. Cheeks covered in pink color as Inumaki continued to rub himself off of the palm of your hand. You're supposed to be mad at him, Look at him in disgust but fuck-- He was making you hot and bothered. Making your pussy clench around nothing as he filled your ears with his erotic sounds, begging you to strip him naked, forgive him for being a huge pervert and mumbling your name over and over again as if you were a fucking god.
"Inumaki…" You called out to him softly. Inumaki slowly lifted his head as he met your gaze, trying his best to give you puppy eyes while his hips continued to move against you.
Narrowing your eyes at him, you pulled your hand away from him causing him to let out a needy whimper. Tears filling the corner of his eyes as his neck and up his face grew in a shade of red, embarassed to how much he just wanted to fuck you senseless.
"Please, Y/N…Am sorry. I really didn't want to, I just needed you so much--" Before Inumaki could even continue his babbles of apologies, you pulled him in for a kiss. Eliciting a moan from as his hands instantly held onto your chest, moving his hand in a circular motion, pushing his body against you and only stopping as soon as you hit the edge of the kitchen countertop.
"'ve been wanting to fuck you so bad…" Inumaki let out in between the kiss before pulling away from and kneeling down, pressing his mouth against your crotch and licking over your clothed cunt. Feeling his tongue, you instinctively gripped onto Inumaki's hair as you threw your head back.
His eyes looking up as he basked in the expressions you were making. Calloused hands moved and gripped onto your hip before Inumaki then grabbed the band of your leggings, pulling onto it and tearing it in half. Leaving you in your black underwear; making you yelp and looking down at Inumaki with wide eyes.
"What the fuck, Inumaki!" You let out at him, Purple eyes meeting yours as he looked at you.
"I'll buy you a new one, I promise…" He let out while pulling your panties aside and lifting one of your leg before placing it over his shoulder as he then leaned forward, sticking his tongue out as he licked over your clit before giving it a soft kiss. A moan escaped your mouth as you lifted your hips a bit and giving him access to more of your pussy, giving him the best view his life could ever ask for.
"Pussy, taste so fucking good…" He praised in between slurps, his fingers prodding at the entrance of your pussy before pushing it in and out of you; making you throw your head back and moving your hips in a circular motion as you helped yourself fuck your pussy on his fingers, all while moaning his name.
Giving your clit one last kiss, Inumaki stood up as he quickly removed his pants. Letting it fall down to his ankles as he caged you against the countertop with his arms on your sides, the tip of his cock; rubbing against your pussy and coating it with your slick.
Inumaki made sure to look at you as he moved his hips back and forth, giving himself a pussyjob. His breathing were rapid and shaky as he whimpered, the sounds of your moans and his filling your apartment as his hand reached to grab you by your chin and making you look at him and only him. Purple orbs meeting your perfectly E/C eyes.
"Baby, please…." Kiss. "Need to fuck this pussy so bad" Kiss. "It hurts…Need to feel you to cum…" He cried before letting go of your chin and lifting your shirt along with your bra before dropping his head down to your chest, giving it kisses before groping one of your tits and sucking on the little nub; letting go of it with a pop as he wrapped his arms around your waist, continuing to thrust his hips and rub his cock against your pussy.
You could feel and hear Inumaki's desperation as he cried in pleasure, tears staining your chest as you then ran a hand down his back before holding onto the cheeks of his ass and pushing his hips further to you, making him let out a moan of pleasure.
"Go ahead, maki…fuck me, please…" You let out breathily against his ear.
Wasting no time, Inumaki pulled away from you as he babbles non-stop thank you's before lifting your body up by holding onto your thighs before pushing the entirety of his cock in you with pure desperation.
"Oh fuck…!" You let out in a pleasurable scream as you felt all of him in you, nails digging onto the skin of his back as he let out a whimper. His thrusts starting slow as he gave you small kisses all over your upper body before his lips finally reached the under of your chin.
"So warm…" Thrust. "And so fucking good to me…" Inumaki groaned, his hips snapping against you as he started to move in a fast pace. Taken aback by his sudden pace, your eyes were wide as you pushed and hit Inumaki by his chest with your head thrown back.
"W-wait!" You choked out in between moans as you tried to break yourself free from Inumaki, his cock; bullying yoru cervix and reaching every part inside your pussy.
"Yeah--nggh-- Taking my cock so good…" He let out in a groan. "Treating me so well and forgiving me…" Nothing but the sound of sex filling the room as he fucked into you senseless.
Feeling a familiar knot in your stomach, you gathered your strength and looked at Inumaki.
"Inumaki!…Wait-- Ah fuck!-- Wait…" You muttered, your hand reaching for his hair as you pulled on it. Hoping he would stop a bit, to which he didn't as he continued to burry his cock in you.
"Sorry…Sorry, I can't-- Just wanna feel you…" He babbled.
"Inumaki, puhleasee--Something's coming out..!" You screamed against the back of your hand as your body then shivered under him, legs shaking as you sprayed all over Inumaki's stomach, causing him to stop and look at you.
Inumaki just gave you a quick smile before leaning down and giving you a kiss as he then coated your walls white. Seeing you squirt all over him was the cherry on top, his lower body drenched in nothing but both your juices.
Pulling out of you, Inumaki gave you a smile as he catched his breath before pushing two fingers inside your cunt, making you whimper.
"S-stop…" You let out in between whimpers as you grabbed onto his wrist. Opening your eyes, you looked at Inumaki.
You felt your body shiver as you saw the dark and drunken look on his face, his fingers moving in and out of you in a slow motion; causing you to let out another moan.
"Let's do that again…" He let out.
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writteninkat · 4 months ago
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What made you fall for these MHA men?
w/ Bakugou, Kirishima, Midoriya, Todoroki, Kaminari
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warnings: none, just some good ol' fluff
a/n: idk man i feel like most people(me) goes straight to the fucking stage and skips the adorable crush stage
navigation
KATSUKI BAKUGOU
this man is so fucking smart it turns you to goo
whenever you're having trouble with schoolworks/projects/assignments, you sit yourself next to him just to get the work done fast (and he smells and looks good so plus points ig)
find long math problems difficult? mans will take one look at it and immediately start scribbling. probably witchcraft, you don't know.
one moment you're complaining to mina about how your teacher can suck dick after giving you the assigment, the next katsuki has the answer in a box
chemistry problems? mans has the entire table memorized.
history? which one? japanese? american? french?
ah, he also butts in your conversations whenever you get the date wrong.
yeah he teaches you stuff you're having trouble understanding, but he will yell the entire time.
yeah, he teaches the topics worlds better than the teacher ever could but at the cost of your hearing
seeing his name listed along the top students with high marks has you inspired to do just as better as him
you tried confessing by giving him a love letter and he returned it to you with corrections TT (and a note that said: rewrite this and read it to me in person, then I'll take you out for some ramen)
EIJIRO KIRISHIMA
he's the sweetest ever, who wouldn't fall for him?
you're having terrible period cramps? this man will have a 'period aid box' filled with sweets, sanitary products, pain relievers, a heating pad, and more of your favorite things delivered to your door
it's pouring and you forgot your umbrella?
if he has an umbrella: will obv share it with you and doesn't care if half his body gets drenched, what matters is you're dry
no umbrella: takes off his uniform jacket/vest and drapes it over you. you'll end up damp but hey, he tried his best
whenever there's a new place, (restaurant, fair, amusement park, etc.) you're the first one he's asking to join him. and you always go. and he always pays.
hurt yourself? scraped a knee, got a bruise, muscle ache? he has a first aid pouch in his bag just for you
always walks you to class, always struggles with you when doing homework, always brings you your favorite food/drink
problem? he does all of this and will still call you a 'friend'. 'best friend' if you're lucky.
yeah, this adorable boy has no idea all the shit he does has you falling head over heels in love for him
IZUKU MIDORIYA
the way he's so passionate about what he loves, then catches himself being so open about it, then blushes, has you swooning
it was a normal day when you asked him about all might. you ended up listening to him for two hours ranting and sharing
you thought, 'how cute.' and then remembered you had piles of homework to do. and then he offered to help you with them while still talking about all might
he's also incredible passionate about being a hero
the way he talks about keeping the weak and needy safe has your heart clenching
whenever you get hurt during quirk training? he drops everything to take you to the nurse
feel insecure about yourself? he goes on a never ending tangent about how you're enough and how amazing you are
whenever you feel like you aren't gonna reach a goal, he's right there to pump you back up
whenever you tease him about being handsome or cute, he gets all flushed and shy, he makes you wanna just nibble on his cheeks!
problem here? he does that with everyone.
he's an inherintly good person, so you can't blame him for it, you can only blame yourself for thinking you were special to him.
or are you?
SHOTO TODOROKI
you're a yapper. you're running your mouth twenty four-seven. and twenty four hours every day, he listens. quietly.
at first you thought he was just ignoring you, but he brings up what you babbled about from time to time.
you talked about your mom being in the hospital. the next day, your mom's calling you to tell 'your classmate i said thank you for the fruits'.
mmhmm. he gave your mom fruits as a 'get well soon' gift.
shoto listens to every word you say, even when you don't realize you're saying them
"i heard the smoothie at that new diner was good." next day, there's a take out smoothie on your desk
"remind me to get pads tomorrow." your desk is filled with every single kind of sanitary product you could think of, from wings, non wings, long, dry, thick, thin, day, night.
"does anybody have an extra pen-" he places his pencil case on your table.
you don't even have to ask him and he's already working on getting you whatever you want. swoon.
another thing that made you fall? he'll let you do anything to him
class is boring and you wanna draw? he'll give you his hands
wanna practice some hairstyles? his hair is incredibly soft and tame for that.
how about make up looks? wanna practice that? he's sitting cross legged on the floor of your dorm as you brush on whatever color on his face
he's totally fine with letting you do whatever you want. and you wanna know the best part? he only lets you do it.
DENKI KAMINARI
this man cracks you up with no fail
the way denki's so easy to talk to and have fun with makes you feel so safe and secure
he's got every kind of humor in his chamber
dad jokes? "what did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? oh sheet!"
corny jokes? "how many lips does a flower have? tu-lips."
dark humor? "why can't orphans play baseball? cause they don't know where home is!"
yeah- the last one you two whisper to each other during class and get sent out of the room for laughing too loud
you don't remember a day where you spent with him and you weren't laughing. you just feel so light and happy, he's like a drug to you
this dynamic between the both of you confuses people. some look at the both of you and think you're a duo misfit who constantly gets called out during class, and some give you teasing looks
when you started to notice these feelings for him, you couldn't help but grin at the thought of marrying your best friend.
what made you really feel for him though?
when you were sick for a day, your classmates came back to the dorms begging you to fet better quickly cause apparently the room was depressing
even katsuki cursed you out for being sick
apparently denki's mood affected everybody. and that mood was-
"today was tiring without you there." denki sighs, staring at nothing while the heat of his body beside you comforts you completely. it's always like this with him- warm, peaceful, happy.
"awe, did you miss me you big baby?" you tease, poking his side.
denki turns his head towards you, eyes holding a million words he wants to say, but for some reason, can't.
"i did." his eyes trail down your nose and to your lips. "so much."
your lips part, heart about to beat out of your rib cage. your mouth feels dry and you can't help the desire to tell him everything you feel for him- but you can't. you don't wanna risk ruining your friendship.
"yellow," he calls. ever since you laughed at his joke for the first time, he's been calling you yellow. he says your laugh magically brightens the room, the sight of your smile lifting the heaviness on his shoulder. "smile for me?"
and you do.
and he does.
and you know you're extraordinarily, remarkably, so very fucked when it comes to this man.
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shiroxichigo · 2 months ago
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Ichigo gets a lot of shit (typically from outside of the Bleach fandom) for being a character whose wants/goals never change from beginning to end of his series. He always wants to protect people (and even though I could argue that he went from only wanting to protect those close to him to wanting to protect everyone he can, that's not the point I'm making with this post).
I think a lot of people who only give Bleach a passing glance fail to see Ichigo's true character growth. It's not about what his goals are or who he's trying to protect, but rather, it's about how he achieves it.
Ichigo is very self-sacrificing in the first third of Bleach. He believes that if the mission is successful, then it doesn't matter how broken or close to death he gets. The mission, saving Rukia (and hurting/killing as few people in the process), is all that matters.
Then, when a part of himself (his inner hollow) emerges, and says "hey yeah no, I'm not letting you get yourself killed and I'm also not letting you hold back against your enemy", Ichigo immediately rejects it.
It's not until he defeats his inner Hollow that we see Ichigo really dive into a fight with the intent to kill. The problem is, once his Hollow is defeated, he thinks that's it. He's freed himself of that part of him and he can go back to being self-sacrificing.
We see this throughout the Hueco Mundo arc. It's why saving Orihime parallels saving Rukia. Ichigo naively thinks he can suppress a part of himself. He bottles it up until it explodes, coming back to haunt him in his fight with Ulquiorra, etc. He learns that side of himself isn't so easily tucked away, and if he recklessly endangers himself, he could end up endangering his friends too. At his own hand, no less.
Then Ichigo discovers he can commit the ultimate sacrifice. Final Getsuga Tenshou. He can throw away these powers and the parts of himself that he doesn't like, and he can get rid of Aizen all in one go. He's lucky that it worked, but only because Kisuke was there.
Then, once Ichigo is powerless, he learns that's not what he really wants. Life doesn't "go back to normal". The can is open, and there's danger out there beyond just Aizen. And Ichigo can't do anything to stop it unless he gets his powers back.
So he does. Then he cuts down the threat to his friends and family. And he doesn't hesitate this time. Yes, he still has compassion for his enemies (he even goes to the Soul Society to ask for Ginjo's body so he can give him a proper burial), but he's learned not to hold back and he's learned that new threats will appear and he'd rather have the power to face them head on.
So then comes TYBW, and Ichigo is facing battles head-on without hesitation. He goes straight to the "bad guys" with the intention of cutting them down. He learns the truth about who his Inner Hollow is, and he accepts it. He's even willing to accept whatever consequences may come from training in the Royal Palace and becoming stronger. He accepts his power and potential fully, and learns that he has what it takes to protect his loved ones with his strength, and not with a sacrifice.
Ultimately, he heals the part of himself that thinks his life is worth less than other people's. He heals the part of himself that blames himself for not protecting his mother (when he was 9!! Like come on Isshin, put the kid in therapy!! Anyway...) He grows into someone who knows his self worth. And I think, for me at least, that makes him one of my favourite protagonists of all time. Because can't most of us relate to feeling worthless at times? And don't we also wanna overcome that?
Thanks for reading my ramble lmao, I'm sure this could have been more elegantly written but I'm very sleepy and just wanted to get my thoughts out there.
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