#I blame boff

[trashtrap]

I feel like this perfectly sums up the prince blue server. The people are amazing *but*

Image credit: @the-mighty-dragon

[duvayknox]

DEAR BIG HOMIE

DEAR BIG HOMIE: GOD, mayne. Look heah. Every since U let  dem Horsepital peeples MURDER mah DADDY I began 2 wonder bout YOU like U aint even hear mah PRAYERS 2 KEEP Him heah among the LIving.

I C How U are wich is 2 say U aint SHIT god!!!! 

All mah LIFE I have heard U say thru Yo PREACHERS and TEACHERS dat Wee shood Pray when we really NEED Sumpen and dat U wood NOT only HEAR butt ANSWER Us.

Butt mebbe its jes MEE cuz U aint hear shit or mebbe U DID butt U ackted like U aint Hear Mee. Ion kno if U was trippin on sumpen mee n Ya Boy LUKE had got 2getha and did when wee  whupped dat Nigga FRED ass in da PARK.

Butt Hee brought dat on his self 4 fuckin wit Mah MAMA lil FOOD GARDEN shee been tryna keep goin 4 her TOMATOES/POTATO/CUCUMBERS/SQUASH n whutnot.

And shee tole mee she had been praying too dat U wood keep dem lil bad ass kids of Miss Johnson nem dat live down da Street off her shit. Anyway I did 90 days in LOCK-UP fo dat shit so I had thawt dat was settled.

So I KNO u aint holding dat against Mee?! Lease I ane think so.

Butt ion kno bout U no mo.

Seem like u been on one er since dat day. U ack like wee aint kool no mo.

And up til U fucked round and aint sho up when mah Daddy died u was like THE BIG HOMIE 2 mee. I C how U is.

Jes when a Nigga NEED You'U BAIL.

B4 This nobody cooda tole mee SHIT bout You. Cuz I bleeved in U when nobody else did or wood. Cuz I FUCKED wit U like dat is whut I tole dem Niggaz.

Muthafuckaz thawt I was krazy doe.

Butt I aint give not ONE Fuck bout WHUT nobody THAWT cuz I knew U was REAL widdit.

Now Im da FOO. U done left mee holding da BAG like a STOOPID muthafucka.

I aint never been da type-a-Nigga to be da BAG HOLDER 4 NOBODY. That aint how I gits down.

YET dats ezackly how U set mee up.

Afta all da BRAGGIN I was dooing on U this how U doo mee!! Ya Nigga?!

Now Niggaz astin mee all kinda QUESTIONS now n shit bout YOU n whutnot dat I dont wanna answer. Fo Real.

Ion Blame nobody butt mee cuz I shooda known U wood pull sum shit like this frum dat time I ast U 4-a-Bike way bak when I was a SHAWTY and it never showed up.

So I had 2 STEAL one instead. I shooda KNOWN den U was LAME.

Butt NAH I kept on Thinking and Bleeving in YO shit.

And mostly dat was how wee was raised by mah Mama n Daddy. U dont QUESTION GOD bout whut HEE doo dey said.

Hee always LATE butt RITE ON TIME is da shit er body nem useta say.

So I grew up bleeving dat too. Even tho I neva got dat BIKE.

Then U let dat Big ass country-fed white boy knock mee off mah BIKE  I had stolen AND let him take it. Then when I TOOK it bak I got in trubble wit 5-0!!

See how U doo me??!!

They aint bleeve mee butt they bleeved da white boy. Made mee give da shit bak!!!!

I PRAYED n I Prayed bout dat 2 U too.

Butt guess wut?!

U aint give-a-FUCK!!

Butt mah DUMB ass kept rite on fuckin wit U.

Meanwile U was showing mee yo ENTIRE ass doe.

Now mah DADDY Dead n shit.

Cuz despite it all–and even tho Hee KNEW how U was hee STILL kept da FAITH and kept HOPE ALIVE.

The same wit mah MAMA hoo ironickally DIED wile she was on her KNEES Praying to YOU or Yo Son J.C. hoo has also prooved 2 B a AINT SHIT Nigga.

I SWEAR: Im jes really DISAPPOINTED and SICK of BOFF of yall fo real.

I TRUST MONEY mo den either one of yall now.

And the Day a MAN gotta Trust CASH Over GOD is sum sad/sad shit. Butt U got yo name all ova dat shit too doe!!

Yet n still: I tell U wut doe–MONEY has been BETTER to MEE than YOU have.

And I shood not have 2 say dat.

Butt I doo cuz its TRUE.

And whuts even SADDER is MUCH Money I done gave You on SUNDAYS.

And I aint tom bout not jes ONE SUNDAY.

Im tom bout ERRY Sunday I went in mah POCKETS and TITHED major LOOT to Yo ass.

Damn near PAID For Mah SINS on sum CHEERFUL GIVER Shit.

Butt soon as I hit a LICK & a PRAYER and NEED you-U aint NO WHERE 2 B Found!

Mayne U got me FUCKED Up.

Butt U Kno WHUT??!!

Its not jes YOU.

Its ALL you Muthafuckaz dat kall Ya Self Gods.

YOU/ALLAH/JEHOVAH/YAHWEH/MORONI.

Erry Last ONE ov U NEGROES aint shit butt a LAME NAME Full ov GAME hoo always FAT MOUFIN bout SERVING Yall.

Well all yall kan KISS MAH HAPPY NAPPY BLACK ASS 4 never beeing around when a NIGGA really and TRULY Needs Yall the MOST.

Sincerely,

Yo Useta Be Nigga

[initiumseries]

Umbrella Academy

I found Umbrella Academy super boring. I do wish that white writers would leave Black people out of their weird forays into incest not incest. Just...stop telling stories of being in love with your sibling, adopted or no. See a therapist, get a diary, I donno, figure it out. It’s uncomfortable and creepy and I think we deserve just one year of no one on TV wanting to boff their sibling please. Also, I almost started being interested until I realized, quite quickly, that the apocalypse just hinged on Vanya’s hurt feelings. Maybe if she stopped killing her nannies they wouldn’t have had to disempower her. But ok. There was, as usual some plot hole issues with the whole time travel thing, but that’s so typical of shows that deal with time travel, I’m starting to think it’s unavoidable. It just seems weird that if dude came from the future prepping the kids for the apocalypse, how did he not already know Vanya was the cause, seeing as how he knew everything else and prepared for it? How does Vanya actually blame Allison for something she was made to do as a child? Like...girl grow up. 

Anyway, as usual, few gifs of Allison bc ofc. Mary J Blige was the most random part of this show and  could have lived without it, but I don’t hate it. I just wish Netflix shows had better pacing. I shouldn’t be 8 episodes deep on a 10 or 13 ep show before it gets marginally interesting. And that’s the formula with literally ALL their shows. It’s frustrating. Also, spoiler alert TV writers: LET. CHARACTERS. JUST. DIE.  Anyway, mini rant/review over. 

[boarix]

Age with Grace

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part VIII

Trigger Warnings: Canon violence/language/drug, alcohol and gun use. Suggestive/mature content

Game Spoilers!

Please enjoy!

.....

.....

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, haaaapyyyyy birthday, dear MacCready! Happy birthday to you!”

MacCready blew out his candles to much applause and joyous back-thumping. Cutting himself an enormous piece of cake, he then tried to cut and serve while simultaneously shoveling as much as possible into his mouth. Hancock shooed him away while laughing and waving Codsworth over, the duo set about serving more reasonable pieces to anyone interested.

Harvest was ongoing but Wraith had decided to host a festival in Sanctuary and give the settlements a small break. Her most recent brush with death had made her feel especially needy and she wanted to see all her friends in a happier setting. The last day coincided with MacCready’s birthday and a special dinner party had been planned.

Piper, Cait and Wraith were on a nearby bench, wrapped up together in a blanket. The trio had been people watching and chuckling amongst themselves for most of the afternoon.

“When yer done eye-fucking that ghoul, I call next.” Cait happened to notice Piper staring intently at Hancock the moment he had taken over as server, “Or hell, I’ll join ya!”

Piper reached around Wraith to shove Cait playfully, “It’s not like that!”

“Could have fooled me, lass! Still, I can’t blame ya.” Cait stretched her arms to either side of Wraith to pull Piper into a (gentle) group hug. “What about you, you gonna let her boff yer man right in front of ya?”

“Yeah, what gives, Piper?”

Wraith’s mock anger elicited a dramatic eye roll, “I said it’s not that! I just…” Piper cleared her throat, “I’ve always had this opinion of him… he was just, the ‘chem-dealing mobster’… just another corrupt mayor. Now I see how happy he is when he feeds people and how good he is at… I don’t know… trade agreements. I haven’t been entirely correct about him. That’s all.”

“So you were wrong then?”

“Tsk…”

As her two friends began a hearty debate on the merits of the various men and women of the Commonwealth, Wraith let her mind and eyes wander over the party. She was looking to see if she could spot Deacon. He hadn’t said goodbye but then that wouldn’t be unusual. She didn’t see him but she did see MacCready. Encircled by Shaun, Nat, Billy and the various other settler children (and Dogmeat, Panther, Gracie and Lulu), he was apparently telling them a story around mouthfuls of cake.

He’s such a good dad… Wish I could convince him its safe enough here for Duncan. I really need to touch base with Morningstar soon…

Continuing her scan, she noticed Danse who was sitting by himself and staring intently at Curie. She had her back to him and was chatting with Williams and a couple of her students that Wraith didn’t know. Wraith sighed at his awkwardness but then to her delight, Hancock set two pieces of cake in front of him and made gestures implying that Danse should take one and offer it to Curie. He was giving him an “in”.

Look at him being a wingman! I can’t even stand how adorable he can be. He and Mac both… I just want to…

“Well, it took two full grown men to satisfy her anyway!”

Wraith decided it was time to tune back in to the conversation, “What is this now?!”

Piper laughed, “Blood, Cait! She needed their blood.”

“Oh, great, now it sounds like I’m a vampire!”

“I don’t know, Blue… it would explain a few things!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, like how you’ve recovered so quickly from having your arm just about ripped off…”

“Curie and Hancock. They are why I recovered at all! Well, that and the helpful donations from Preston and Deacon…”

“Or how about the fact that you say you’re how old?”

Wraith sighed heavily, “Thirty nine. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Lass you look younger then meself, so quit yer moping!”

“Two hundred forty-nine years old and you look like you’re in your twenties. Vampire. There isn’t any other logical explanation.” Piper leaned her head onto Wraith’s shoulder.

“Maybe I’m a ghoul.”

“A smoothskin ghoul! That’s rich!”

“Oh, would you look at that!” Piper pointed at the jute box that had been set up near the party area. Valentine and Ellie were slow-dancing together and the three women gave a great collective sigh at the romantic display.

“Come on, Wraith, lets go dance.”

“Why don’t you two go ahead, I’m happy being a bench warmer for now.”

“Suit yerself. My lady…” Cait offered Piper her hand and the two moved away laughing.

As soon as they were gone, Deacon took their place on the bench. “Hey.”

“There you are! I thought you might have left already.”

“Nope. I’m still AWOL from the ‘Road until I can stand up for two seconds without feeling the Earth’s rotation.” He twirled his finger in the air, “Thanks for that, by the way, Nosferatu.”

“I don’t know… Preston seems to be doing okay.” She nodded toward the young colonel. The song had changed and he was dancing energetically with Piper.

“Yeah, he’s also a million years younger than I am! ‘Sides that, most of your new blood was from old me! He just topped you off!”

Wraith, testing his personal boundary issues, leaned her good shoulder against him, “No one is more grateful than me.” She felt him stiffen but he didn’t move away. “How old are you anyway?”

“You should never ask a lady such a question!” He relaxed slightly, deciding that it was okay if Wraith touched him. “I’m eighty-seven.” He nodded at Hancock, who was dancing with Cait, “And I think Hancock is possibly more thankful than you; he actually said ‘good morning’ to me today!”

.....

Later that night Wraith and her friends sat around an enormous bonfire drinking beer, playing cards and sharing stories. Piper and Ellie had been asking Wraith about toiletries that were available in her time and had been making little groans of envy. They especially like the idea of bath add-ins and some of the hair care products.

“None of them really worked the way they said they would. At least not for my impossible hair! I almost always had it up… should have just buzzed my head back then but there were appearances to maintain in a courtroom. It was hard to get them to take me seriously anyway, let alone if I wasn’t trying to maintain ‘the standard of femininity’. Ugh!”

“What did it look like?”

“BIG! If I ever grow it out, you’ll see it’s just a ginormous mass of fluffy, mouse-brown… mess.”

“Miss Wraith! Your hair was the envy of all the ladies in the neighborhood,” Codsworth waved his limbs excitedly, “beautiful chestnut curls over your striking light green eyes. I was ever so sad to see it go.”

“Oh, Codsworth, you are too good for this world.” Wraith, being careful of his jet, gave him a hug.

“Hancock used to have big, curly hair.” Deacon smirked from behind the beer he was pretending to drink. “Bet it was the envy of all the ladies in the Goodneighborhood.”

“Ha! It was! I remember when he was a young rip and all the girls in Diamond City would go mad over him,” Valentine folded his hands along his cheek and changed his voice to a mocking falsetto, “Oh, Johnny, your hair is so pretty! Oh, Johnny, will you let me braid it? Oh, Johnny…”

Everyone seemed to freeze. No one breathed.

Hancock narrowed his eyes briefly then a huge grin spread across his face, “Nick Valentine, you are drunk!”

Valentine set his fingers to his lips while giving his empty beer a look of betrayal.

Ellie snorted into her cup, releasing the dam and everyone burst out laughing.

After the party wound to a close, Hancock half carried, half dragged an extremely drunk-and-clingy MacCready to his bed. Wraith chuckled quietly from the hall as the ghoul tried to unwind himself from him, “He’s turned octopus!”

“You’ve could shtay with me if you want… in my beds… with me.”

Hancock patted his cheek, “I’m not one to take advantage of a pretty drunk and you’re pretty drunk.”

As they descended the stairs, Wraith was trying to work up the courage to ask Hancock if he would stay with her. She was worried about how MacCready would feel however and was caught in a mental loop.

Which one do I alienate now?

“You going to sleep, or are you going to work on your map all night?”

Wraith would pick at an enormous map of the Commonwealth and Far Harbor in her office, off and on, whenever she got a free moment, or whenever she couldn’t sleep, or when she was recovering from injury…

“Well…”

Curie saved her from having to making a decision by choosing that exact moment to pop her head out of Wraith’s bedroom, “Excusez-moi, Madame, but I would like to speak to you. I was waiting in your bedroom, I’m not sure if that was right…” Obviously stressed, she was ringing her hands.

Hancock gave a resigned sigh and then gave Wraith a rather chaste kiss, “Goodnight, sunshine.”

Wraith watched him go back up the stairs to his apartment with a pang in her heart. She turned and smiled at Curie, “It’s okay, Baby Bird, we can talk wherever you would like.” She led her back into her room and offering her the armchair, sat with her legs crossed on the bed. “What’s up?”

“How do you go about engaging in sexual intercourse?”

“I… uhh…”

“I mean to say, how does one initiate this? I understand the mechanics of the physical act but I’m unsure the best way to start.”

“…sorry… who?”

“Are you asking me ‘with whom’?”

“That.”

“Monsieur Danse.”

“Okay!” Wraith stood up and paced back and forth trying to get mentally organized. She sat back on the bed as Curie waited patiently, “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to have to give the ‘birds and the bees’ talk to someone! Although, Shaun is getting to the right age…” She shook her head, “Okay!”

“Have I asked the wrong thing?” Curie looked confused, “I am unsure why fowl and arthropods would be involved.”

“Oh no, not at all, you’re okay. So… why Danse? Have you two spoken about your feelings for one another?”

“No, but I do have a great affection for him! I enjoy speaking with him very much and he is always polite and kind to me. I have found myself thinking about him when he is absent and,” She blushed prettily, “I enjoyed when he touched me while we were dancing this evening.”

“Normal dancing touch or…”

“He was most ridged; similar to how I imagine dancing with a protectron would be.” She cocked her arms at the elbow and waved them stiffly up and down, making Wraith laugh, “Even so, I believe it was normal but I was wishing he would… touch me more.”

“I think that you should talk to him about how you feel first. Then if you both feel safe and decide to make it physical… What about birth control?”

“I have been monitoring my cycle and believe that I can utilize the data I’ve collected to prevent pregnancy until it becomes appropriate to start a family.”

It was hard to argue against Curie’s confident smile, “Okay, just so there’s a plan in case an ‘accident’ happens.”

“Oui, I have thought a great deal about this.” She suddenly looked unsure, “I am a little afraid to tell him that I care for him. What if he is only being nice to me and cares nothing for me at all?”

“Risks like that are a part of being human, Baby Bird. I wouldn’t worry too much; you’re easy to love after all.”  

“Oh, you will make me cry!” She got up to give Wraith a hug, “Now, would you explain to me the physical sensations I should expect to experience?”

“…sorry…what?”

.....

The next morning Hancock found Wraith in her office working on her map, “I brought you eggs and tea, come and eat with me.”

“Hmm? Yeah in a sec…”

She was sitting on her desk and had her right hand up to draw on the map while the other was slightly behind her, propping her up. Hancock watched her for a minute before realizing she was far too engrossed in what she was doing to have actually heard what he said.  

Walking partway around her desk, he gently placed his right hand over her left, “Breakfast, sunshine.”

She looked down at his hand and then grasped it, interlacing their fingers. She looked him in the eyes as she gently pulled him the rest of the way around her desk so that he stood between her legs. “Maybe I want ghoul instead.”

“I happen to have some fresh ghoul right here.” He leaned in to kiss her while cupping the back of her head with his free hand.

She let go of his hand so that she could work both of hers past some of his layers. Running them up his back, she pulled him closer, “Mmmm fresh and minty.”

He smiled against her mouth, “Ready for that conversation now?”

She answered by hooking her legs around his and grinding against him. As she untied the knot in his flag-belt, he growled into her neck, nipping it gently.

The office door burst open, letting in a cacophony of sound as both Cait and Shaun talked over each other even as Strong could be heard yelling for Wraith all the way from Big Bridge Gate. As soon as they realized what might have been happening, both intruders stopped cold. Cait was grinning ear to ear while Shaun was strategically looking at the ceiling.

“ALPHA, COME SEE! ALPHA, COME SEE WHAT STRONG HAS!”

“I’ll be right there.” Sighing, Wraith clunked heads affectionately with Hancock, “Duty calls.”

“Shoulda locked that door…”

“You comin’?”

“Not any time soon.” Smiling at his own joke he shook his head, “I need a moment.”

Left alone, he let loose a soft string of curses, adjusted himself and stared at her map. Suddenly overcome with melancholy his mind took him to dark places.

Are we ever going to find time to be together? I have forever... but what’s the point, without them? She’s leavin’ with Preston tomorrow and I’m going home… she didn’t even eat.

Walking across Sanctuary, Hancock nodded and smiled at settlers as he passed. He stopped at a supply kiosk then made his way to the big watchtower. At the base, he picked up the walkie-talkie, “Hey, MacCready, you up there jerking-off, or what?”

“Oh too bad, you just missed the eight o’clock showing! If you’d like to come back there will be an encore at noon.”

“I’ve got an appointment then, I’ll just come up now.”

“As you like, sir.”

Gaining the observation deck he offered MacCready a soda, “Here, I brought you a Vim.”

“Oh, is it the fish one?” He clinked his bottle against Hancock’s Quantum, “Ugh, I hate myself for how much I love these!” Taking a healthy swig he watched as Hancock sagged into one of the two available armchairs. “You okay? You’re all,” He made a circular motion with his bottle, “mopey.”

“I’m surprised you’re even up, ‘MacDrunky’.”

“Ha! Well, Wraith came and dragged me out of bed last night and made me drink five gallons of water!” He pantomimed gagging, “Then she got me again this morning and made me eat a pound of eggs and drink five gallons more! She’s a madwoman!” MacCready turned back to the view, holding his binoculars to his eyes. “So you gonna sit up here and sigh all day, or you got something to say?”

“I’m in love with a woman and I don’t even know her name.”

Turning back to Hancock, MacCready’s face was scrunched in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“Wraith, I’m talkin’ ‘bout Wraith.”

MacCready’s face turned scarlet and he turned back to the window, “Well… yeah. I suppose that makes sense. Who names their kid ‘Wraith’, right?” He gripped the windowsill hard enough that Hancock could see his knuckles whiten. “Just… Why don’t you just ask her?”

Hancock stood up and walked to the glassless window. Half sitting, half leaning backward against the sill, he cocked his head to the side, trying to make eye contact. MacCready tilted his face away still trying to hide his flush, “Tch, MacCready you know better. Any time anyone of us tries to ask her about ‘before’ she’ll either, change the subject or… Well, I don’t like doing that to her.”

“’MacCready’? What happened to ‘Little Brother’?” Recovering a little, he turned what he hoped was a challenging look toward Hancock.

“You know I’ll call you whatever you want! ‘Sides, I thought that pissed you off.” Hancock smiled as MacCready’s blush returned.

“It grew on me.” Swallowing, he walked to the chairs as if to sit down. Remembering that he was still on duty he turned back to Hancock his embarrassment turning to irritation, “You’re distracting me you know! I’m not up here fuc��� fooling around!”

“I just thought you might want to know, that we don’t know the name the woman we are in love with.”

MacCready sputtered awkwardly, “I’m not… I don’t have to… you are more…” He seemed to collapse in on himself: shoulders sagged and eyes to the floor. Then he straightened and looked Hancock straight in the eye, “I’m bowing out. I don’t know what happened before but I almost ruined everything for you guys. I… love you two too much to… I’m… I’m not going to come between you two again.”

Maintaining the eye contact, Hancock took a huge risk and closed the distance between them. Laying a hand on MacCready’s shoulder then running it down his arm, his voice dropped to a growling purr, “I think we all might enjoy if you cum between us, you feel me?”

MacCready smiled and his eyes flashed briefly to Hancock’s mouth, “Actually…” Trailing off, he suddenly side-stepped around Hancock, putting his binoculars to his eyes, “I’ve got something. Pass me the ‘Wraith-walkie’.” Clicking the button, his voice was all business, “Hey, Boss, I’ve got what appears to be a Child of Atom on the road. She’s heading to the bridge.”

“I’m already at the gate. Is it just the one?”

MacCready nodded to Hancock as the ghoul made motions that he was heading down, “That’s affirmative. She is literally waving a white flag so… I’d be on your guard. Hancock is headed your way.”

“Acknowledged.”

Wraith was waiting for Hancock on the bridge side of the gate and Preston was with her. “I sent Jenny and Gabby to intercept, figuring a Child would appreciate being met by ghouls. Cait’s going to get my gear.”

“They have Gabby’s pup with em?” Hancock was referring to the Minutemen’s secondary cavalry, the Gae Bulg Hounds.

Wraith rotated her recently injured shoulder, “No, I don’t want to scare them… that bad.”

Commissioned, on Cait’s suggestion, the Hounds were a 4 person squad under her command. Mounted on super mutant hounds trained by Erickson; Cait, Tina and Gabby (sometimes accompanied by Strong) wielded tremendously wicked-looking spears and were intimidation incarnate.

“General, shouldn’t you be wearing a sling still?” Preston was frowning at her.

“Colonel, right now appearing strong is more important. ‘Sides, that thing chafes.” She smiled up at him, “I thought I was ‘everybody’s mom’.”

Preston wasn’t even embarrassed, “General, if it helps to keep you safe, I will mother you till the brahmin come home!”

“General?” Jenny’s voice came through on the walkie, “She says her name is Sister Marie and she doesn’t want to come into Sanctuary but that she must speak with The Mother’s Favored One. Does that make sense to you?”

Wraith closed her eyes for several seconds before responding. “That’s affirmative. Escort her to the picnic tables over by the statue, Hancock and I will be along shortly.” She closed her eyes again, “Mac, you hear all that?”

“Yeah and I would just like to say that I think this is a bad idea.”

“Duely noted.” She put her hands on her hips as she turned to face Preston, “Hancock and I will go, I’ll take the walkie and the tables are in full view of MacCready.”

Preston’s cheek bulged as he clenched his jaw. He didn’t vocalize his objection however and just nodded.

Cait had no such reservations and as she returned with Wraith’s equipment, she made sure her opinion was heard, “Fucking bollocks! You should at least take me an’ Gracie with!”

“You are all acting as if I’m trying to shake hands with a deathclaw! It’ll be fine.” Cinching her sword belt, (which held both Shem Downe’s sword and Kremvh’s Tooth) and adjusting her General’s hat she winked cheekily at Cait before stepping out across the bridge.

Waiting until they were out of earshot of the others, Wraith confided in Hancock, “It’s possible you are going to hear some things that you may not like.”

“Who am I to judge, sister? I’ll try to be quiet. This is your show.”

Sister Marie felt a grudging respect for Wraith: tall, stately and with her tools of war on obvious display, this indeed was the General of the Minuteman, Wraith the Fog Walker, The Mother’s Favored One or to some, Death in the Shadow.

“Greetings, Sister Marie, Daughter of Isolde. May I offer you something to eat or drink?”

Marie remained seated, palms down on the top of the picnic table, her eyes never leaving Wraith’s, “You know me.”

“I’ve sought help from your mother. I trust she is well?”

“I didn’t come here to be fed or to speak of my mother…”

“Then please, enlighten us.” Wraith didn’t want to drag whatever this was out. Sister Marie’s bad attitude and harmful intent emanated from her like a miasma. “Speak your peace.”

“I am on a pilgrimage. I have been traveling to the holy sites, seeking the Will of Atom for many months now. My journey led me to The Nucleus, to High Confessor Tektus. He spoke of your exploits, of the rite of passage you preformed at the Sacred Spring and the visions you received.” Her face twisting into a self-mocking mask, Marie paused and licked her lips before continuing, “You… you! You received visions?! You who mercilessly slaughtered an entire village of my people?!”

Wraith could tell that Marie was seconds from leaping to her feet, to her death. “Marie! Stop. If you move too erratically, you will be struck down by my sniper. Despite what you may believe, I do not want that to happen.”

“And if yer referring to Crater House, that ain’t even how it went down, sister.” Hancock had already had enough of Sister Marie but this business with sacred springs… “Kingsport Lighthouse had been repeatedly attacked by ‘your people’, even after several warnings to leave it be. Crater House wasn’t a village. It was a command center for offensive strikes! There weren’t any kids or old ladies there.” Hancock had folded his arms but now stabbed a finger at Marie’s face, “Get yer damn story straight!”

Dismissing Hancock’s words, Marie’s voice became shrill, “High Confessor Tektus declares you ‘Chosen’! The Mother of Fog revealed herself to you and granted you her Sacred Icon. YOU! A heretic and non-believer! I have devoted my life to Atom and yet I saw nothing after drinking from the spring. NOTHING!” Spittle flew freely from her lips, “I call you ‘Pretender Wraith’, but High Confessor…”

“Enough.”

God damn you, DiMA!

“I cannot make this right for you. And there is no way in hell that I’ll fall on my sword to appease your misguided sense of moral outrage. What do you want?”

Wraith’s firm and dangerous tone seemed to fit better with Marie’s expectation of her and despite the clear threat of death, calmed her. Keeping her movements slow, she removed her head-wrap and knotted it between her hands, “Tell me what you saw.”

Wraith set her own palms against the tabletop. Leaning forward, she locked eyes with Marie, “I saw hallucinations of animals and a vague shadow of a woman,” She started talking louder as Marie shook her head, “induced by extreme radiation poisoning! As to the Icon; I have no idea because I was out of my mind! The whole experience nearly killed me.” She could see Hancock flinch in her peripheral.

“Without Atom’s Gift, you should have died! That’s the part I don’t understand! How are you Gifted? How are you The Chosen?”

GOD DAMN YOU DiMA!

“Those are Tektus’s words, not mine.”

Eyes dancing with fanaticism, Marie leaned forward as well, “So tell me, oh great Death in the Shadow, what am I supposed to believe now, where shall I journey next to seek Atom’s Plan?”

She wants me to kill her… shit…

Wraith leaned back, maintaining eye contact, she folded her hands in her lap. “Bold of you to presume that I would know the Will of Atom, or the Fog Mother for that matter.”

“Ever try thinkin’ for yourself, sister?”

Marie ignored him completely, “Where…”

“Go home; return to Isolde.” Wraith smoothly rose to her feet, followed by Hancock, “Listen to your mother as she will guide you best. Do you need shelter, food or drink for your journey? I can direct you along a route that will take you by Minutemen safe houses.”

“I want nothing from you…” So saying she leapt to her feet; fully intending to die.

Wraith had anticipated such a reaction however, and with split second timing, she flipped the table, sending Marie flying. The bullet, fired by MacCready, made impact with the underside of the seat and continued on causing a cloud of dirt and wooden shrapnel.

As the rifle retort echoed through the surrounding hills, Wraith clicked on the walkie, “Cease fire! I’ve got this.” Walking to Marie’s prone form, she was honestly relived that the girl seemed unharmed, “Leave, Marie. At once. If you try that nonsense again I will simply knock you out and drag your ass back to the Crater myself!”

After a brief conversation with Jenny and Gabbie, Wraith made her way back to the bridge. Midway across Hancock stopped her, “Did I miss the part where you took a Buffout, sister? Table and girl combined, that had to be over a couple hundred pounds ya just… and with your left arm! Since when are you a member of the Children? And what’s this about sacred rites? What did Nicky get you involved in up there in Far Harbor?!”

“Hancock...” She seemed to change her mind about something, “Give me today to organize my thoughts, maybe even write some stuff down. Tonight, privately, I’ll answer any question you can come up with. We’ve been joking about our overdue ‘conversation’ but I think maybe you and I need to talk for real.” She stepped close and tilted her head up to kiss him.

“MacCready should be there too.” He suddenly looked unsure, “Right?”

“Yes, you’re right. I’ve been putting this off for too long. Now, I’m going to go talk to MacCready. Or rather, listen to him fuss at me. Then I’m going to go help Strong with his saddle project; he just brought back a huge radstag. Then…”

“First you are going to go and eat, or I’ll snitch to Preston on ya!”

MacCready surprised Wraith, “I’m sure you know what you’re doing. I don’t want to kill some idiot anyway.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Since when do you think I know what I’m doing?”

He surprised her further by initiating a hug and kissing her forehead, “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Taking advantage of the contact, she squeezed him tightly, “So… I take this to mean that I get to hug you again? What’s going on?”

“Hancock and I… talked.”

“Speaking of which, the three of us need to sit down tonight and have a serious discussion on what to do… about the three of us.” Burying her face into his chest, she sniffed at him and then pulled away making a face, “Why do you smell like fish? Ugh, did you drink that lobster soda again?! Why did I even bring that crap back with me?!”

Grinning evilly he pulled her back to him rubbing his cheek stubble against her face, “That’s what you get for coming up here and distracting me while I’m supposed to be protecting everybody!”

.....

The remainder of the day flashed past for Wraith. Busy as she was helping Strong and seeing Shaun, Piper, Nick and the rest of the Diamond City crew off, as well as packing/organizing for her trip to the Castle with Preston, she had no time to write notes as she had hoped.

For Hancock and MacCready, filled with the anticipation of finally learning more about Wraith, the day seemed to drag on and on.

“So... Far Harbor…” It was well after dinner and most everyone in the settlement was asleep. Wraith and the two men were sitting around the small dining table in her kitchen. She briefly told them the story of the Kasumi Nakano case and the subsequent meeting of Valentine’s brother DiMA. The two men’s eyes widened as she described the hallucinations she experienced after drinking toxic water.

“That’s the part I’m a little unclear on. How are you not dead or… God, ya ain’t turning ghoul are ya, sister?”

“This is top secret, fellas, okay?” She had stood up and began pacing as she talked but now sat at the table and folded her hands in her lap. Keeping her eyes lowered her voice shook as she continued, “Curie has found… anomalies in my blood work. For example, I’m not aging like I should. She believes that some of the experiments that Vault Tec preformed on me after my car accident may have slowed my aging process. That combined with the chemical mix they used to keep us alive when they froze us, may have stopped it all together.”

Hancock hadn’t heard about the car accident that killed her parents and so Wraith briefly caught him up.

“They have been fucking with you for that long? Damn…”

“You’re not getting older? Hey, that stuff they did, is that why you’re so,” MacCready flexed, “strong?”

“It’s likely. And that’s not all; I’m extremely resistant to rads. You could say I’m ‘ghoulish’.”

“You’re a smoothskin ghoul, huh? So, you really are a ‘wraith’.” Hancock’s mind was spinning with the implications that maybe he wouldn’t have to spend an eternity without a partner.

“What’s your real name?” MacCready’s question sliced through the room like a shishkebab.

“Oh! Hey, I’m sorry you guys… I like my Marine nickname so much that I never tell anyone my real one. It just seems cooler, you know? Even Nate would call me ‘Wraith’. I was named after my dad so it also kinda makes me sad. Plus, the usual nickname for my real name irritates me so…”

“Sister, I swear I’m gonna scream…”

“Yeah you’re KILLING US!”

“Philippa. Philippa Lynn Keita-Johnson.” She raised a threatening finger at them, “First fucker who calls me ‘Pippa’ gets a knife in the dick!”

“Like, in the hole, or…”

Lowering her finger, she laughed, “Yeah, Mac.” She smiled as she explained, “‘Wraith’ is actually from my maiden name which was ‘Wolf’.  Our commanding officer’s last name was ‘Spirit’, so all of us picked haunted names that started with the first letter of our last.”

Hancock reached out and took her hand, “Whatever you want us to call you is fine, sunshine.” He took a deep breath, trying to absorb all the new information. “Explains some of what I’ve been wonderin’, like how you healed so fast.”

“Curie did have to completely rebuild my shoulder though. My collarbone was essentially powdered. The new joint, part of my humerus and my collarbone are all synthetic now.”

“So you’re an immortal synth-ghoul?” MacCready was grinning at her and took her other hand, “How am I, a mere mortal, supposta keep up with you guys, huh?”

Hancock took MacCready’s free hand, completing the triangle and the three fell silent for a moment.

“I suppose the three of us should make the most of the time we have together. We aren’t truly immortal, Mac, any of us could be killed at any time.” It was a sobering thought and they continued to hold hands in silence.

“If we are going to do this, we need a bigger bed.” Hancock cast a mischievous grin toward MacCready, “This fella somehow triples in size, takes up all the room.”

Wraith wasn’t going to let Hancock get off that easy, “I suppose you’re not going to aknowledge the fact that YOU kick in your sleep like Dogmeat!”

“I told you, I was fighting ninjas.”

Wraith stood up and the two men followed her toward her bedroom door. As she reached for the doorknob her hands started to shake.

Okay! Okay, we can do this! Whew! I’m… we… oh…

Hancock gently stopped her, taking her hand in his and smiling lovingly at her, “Sunshine, why don’t we start slow?” He turned to MacCready and hooked his arm around the younger man’s waist, “For now we can just be together, you feel me? You’re shaking like a leaf and I don’t want you to be scared.”

“Yeah, now that I know that you guys want… that we all can…” MacCready put his arm around Wraith and the three stood with their heads together, “I can wait.”

Deacon waited until the three of them passed through Wraith’s bedroom doorway before he left his spot in the stairway’s shadow. Not one of the sentries saw him as he left Sanctuary. Alone in the dark, he headed south toward Goodneighbor.

.....

Thank you for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see my Wraith in the Ruins master-link. =^..^=

[peter-horrocks]

Inside France review of 2020

People around the world will be thinking that 2020 has been the most testing and unpredictable of years in our lifetime. Yet despite the turmoil, for some it was a good year, though undoubtedly tinged with a sense of sadness, bewilderment as to how insensitive and selfish many humans can be and admiration for how amazing many people are too. On a personal front this was a good year in many ways, though my perspective is not your average as the previous year I was fighting a battle with cancer and practically anything is better than that.

“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.” Albert Camus

My best photo of 2020 taken on a bike ride up the Gorge du Loup near Grasse

The obvious dominant subject of 2020 was Covid 19 and I have great empathy for those adversely affected and directly involved. The virus popped up out of no-where and its impact has been incessant ever since. When I first became aware of it I asked my physiotherapist what she thought and if her son who was working in Tokyo was concerned. “Oh Corona, comme la bierre, boff!!” was her flippant reply. And I think that is where most people were at.

I’ve read a number of good books about the plague and how it spread, including Ken Follet’s brilliant World Without End and more recently I enjoyed the French classic La Peste by Albert Camus, French version. Transmission is key and human habits are why it spreads and our inability to adapt and accept change are our shortcomings, poor governance adds frustration. Thank goodness there are also those we acclaim as heroes too. It is so difficult battling an unseen entity which affects some badly but not others and which adapts too, as we all know now.

Home made mask

The media feeds on it and frankly, if I had a euro for every time I’ve seen a cotton bud thrust up someone’s nose on the news (what is news about that!!!) my pockets would be bulging, and of course now its needles in the arm time. Everyone’s become an expert or they’ve chosen to be ostrich’s and stuck their head firmly in the sand, and you can’t blame them really. The tension is palpable when it comes to masks in places where they are obligatory, I can’t help feeling angry when I see people not wearing them or with their noses poking out, as they often seem to have that smug look about them, like they are sooo independent-minded. It frustrates me to feel judgemental but its that wilful selfish thing that makes me angry, that sullen unwillingness to be part of the collective, as if we could survive regardless as an island, though obviously, we wouldn’t last a minute.

We’ve all been finding our way of coping and for some, it is much more difficult than others. At first, it was almost amusing to find oneself running from the back end of the apartment to the front balcony and back, repeat, for an hour in an effort to keep fit during tight confinement. We exchanged improvised mask ideas; I had a ski snood with a coffee filter stuffed down it! Initially, we were told the masks didn’t really work. The truth was they didn’t have enough of them and even worse here in France they had recently binned the reserve stock, so they were trying to hide their embarrassment. In fairness, that apart, the French government seem to have handled managing the virus relatively well so far though now there are vaccination issues aggravated by a vaccine sceptic population and slow bureaucracy.

There was something marvellous about discovering how well you could keep connected with friends and loved ones through WhatsApp video in particular. I hadn’t felt so connected to my elder brother living in South Africa ever. But when he died of a heart attack out walking in the hills with his friends over there the reality hit hard. A big delay in getting him back to the UK, a bigger delay for his wife to follow on and no opportunity to share in the grieving in the direct company of my family. There were seven of us brothers and sisters and I am by far the youngest, it is sad, strange and destabilising being down to six.

Additional anxiety was for my younger daughter who is a recently qualified doctor as is the man in her life. Both were having a small break before taking up their proper postings in the summer. They were enjoying hiking in the wilds of Scotland and a holiday with family in Asia and looking forward to more carefree travel after so many years of medical studies. They both bravely and unselfishly volunteered to work in one of the worst Covid affected hospitals in the UK. Heavily involved with the thankless task of informing families of their loss by video conference and in the testing of the recently approved Oxford vaccine, they were literally in the thick of it. Within two weeks of starting as volunteers, they both caught the virus, thankfully not badly and after an isolation period, they were straight back onto the wards. They have both taken up their proper posts now, in London, as the third wave comes crashing through. Understandably they are tired and don’t want to talk about it, it is very difficult, especially for them.

My elder daughter got caught up in things too. She was on a humanitarian posting in Nepal when the outbreak struck and only got out on the last plane to leave Kathmandu for the UK. Having a day off she had gone hang gliding in the morning, a first for her, an amazing thrill, she had just sent me photographs showing her flying, of stupendous views of the local lake and the Annapurna mountain range. Only to return and be told she had to pack and leave immediately. The next photo was of a night-time, deserted, frightening-looking Kathmandu where she managed to find one of the last hotels still open, a rough one. To say I was relieved when she got home and met up at the airport with her sister who similarly got the last plane out of Shri Lanka is an understatement. Thankfully, she managed to see out the first wave and much of the summer with the family of her friend who owns a nice property in the countryside near the sea, well away from it all.

Kathmandu in lockdown taken by my daughter

My anxiety and personal need were a desire to help them. Being stuck here in France and relatively at risk myself my options were limited. My main concern was for their mental health as my guess was that Covid was likely to affect everybodies. Shortly after my cancer treatment, my French wife’s sister gave me a couple of books by a French author, meditation master and philosopher Fabrice Midal. One was an introduction to meditation for westerners, non-religious and based on attention, more of an awakening and relevant to actually living life actively, not at all mind closing and definitely not relaxation. I found it very wise and tried the meditation in addition to my gentle yoga which is for my relaxation when I’m not out for a walk, playing football or cycling up a mountain. I still meditate and have found it fascinating, paying attention to the functioning of the most important thing of all, the one we nearly all neglect, the brain. Its no cure for anything but I found it a good exercise and felt it may help my girls.

Meditation book by Fabrice Midal, in french.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist in English. So I contacted the author and asked if he would mind me translating it, explaining that I thought it would help my daughters. To my surprise, he promptly replied and agreed saying he could probably then use it to publish it online. So, I set about translating it and explained what I was doing to my daughters and the eldest volunteered to proofread. Its nearly done and I can say that my eldest daughter found it very helpful and the youngest has at least read some of it. I had never translated a whole book before and I found it an interesting experience especially as a philosopher weighs his words and each one counts. Fabrice Midal appears regularly on French television as he is one of the country’s leading philosophers and authors. I have read a fair bit of Greek philosophy and have always had some interest in the subject as I find it helps make sense of life, up to now I was not aware of any contemporary philosophers worth reading. I have found him to be a real ray of light, someone I can relate to and admire and learn from. I think he deserves to be read more throughout the world; he is a man of the moment in my opinion. I never thought I’d see the day when I would sit on a meditation cushion, I don’t buy into the way most of it is practised at all, but I’m glad to have found one that suits me and I’m very glad to have been able to help my daughters if only in a small way.

Brexit end game After an anxious wait it's done and dusted, well nearly. I have made my permanent residency application, which was relatively simple and not too onerous, and I have a holding number and a statement that my rights in France continue as before. The only problem is a final processing delay of at least three months so still waiting to cross the t’s and dot the i’s when the administration is ready.

The mood in France Given the circumstances its not too bad and whist the government has its detractors they are less visible due to the various constraints at the moment and the more pressing business of dealing with the Covid crisis. There is moaning when things are obviously wrong but there does seem to be reactivity too as well as a good degree of solidarity, responsibility and helpfulness.

Best cultural moments Well, there haven’t been any as everything is shut and even when a few things like cinemas were open there was nothing much good on and certainly nothing worth risking being indoors with other people.

First day on the beach at Fréjus after lockdown number one

Best experience Stepping back out onto the football pitch in Saint Cezaire-Sur-Siagne was enormous for me. During my cancer treatment, I never thought I would be able to play football again. It’s a very simple thing kicking a ball around with fellow human beings, but I’ve always loved it to bits. Also in between lockdowns we managed to get down to the beach at Fréjus a couple of times in the morning when there were few people around and it was a real tonic to be able to enjoy the sea and sun, it was equally uplifting to be able to ride up into the mountains on my bike occassionally though hard getting the muscles going again each time.

Looking down towards the Gorge du Loup

Precious family moments The top was a visit from my elder daughter who managed to stay with us for a couple of weeks before getting back to the UK on the last flight before the second lockdown. A huge pickup, I enjoyed catching up with her work teaching online and coaching and being able to be there for her as well as visiting some nice places outdoors, especially the observatory at Caussols. 

And we also managed a lovely stay in a chalet in the high French Alps at Les Menuires in August along with my French wife’s daughters, son in law and five grandchildren, the sun shone on the verdant valley by day and the stars lit up our evening walks up the mountain, it was quite magical and great fun, I felt privileged to be part of it.

Selling my Dordogne property

I’ve finally given up on the idea that I might do something with my property in the Dordogne one day, so I’m selling it. It is composed of a beautiful big barn which I had re-roofed and opened some window openings at the start of a conversion (which I had planning for, now lapsed, but easy to re-new). Also a ruined small farmhouse. There is electricity and water but no drains (I did get permission for a septic tank but we never got round to installing it). Both are set on 1 hectare of land, mainly secluded, just one neighbour masked by trees and bushes on my side. 3km from the village of Montagrier near Périgueux. Price is 120,000 euros. If you know anyone who might be interested please let me know.

Classic 2cv It has been very enjoyable working with Classic 2cv again this year. We have brought lots of rusting old parts back to life and supplied enthusiasts far and wide with the means to keep their charming old French cars on the road. I have learned a lot and continue to grow in experience on the classic car front. Oddly its thrived during lockdowns as folk have channelled their time and energy into restoration of their cars.

So, as we head into the new year after a year like no other, the future looks uncertain, climate change and a biodiversity crisis are looming large in addition to the Covid virus. It feels important to survive, work, make the most of things, care about loved ones and to try and help.

Best wishes

Peter H

[adventurepunks]

thedemonconstantine​:

“Aye well I wouldn’t mind a smidge if tha’ armchair kin ‘old th’ boff o’ us. Perfect spot fer a nap, innit? Wiff yeh on me lap all nice ‘n warm,” John teased though he did agree that the corner with that neglected armchair would be a perfect spot for his work desk and shelf.

How strange was it that he could practically envision Nick’s flat, down to the number of tiles in the bathroom and the faint grease stains along that tiny kitchen wall, when he could barely remember the colour of his own wall clock?

“Linen, plates, cutlery, radio ‘n fridge it is. Me clunky ‘eater too, so we kin ‘ave yehs in th’ bedroom ‘n mine in th’ livin’,” John decided and let his hands wander from those ankles to the calves beneath those trouser legs, oh who could blame him for leaning in to press his lips to a clothed inner thigh just to nuzzle a kiss right there, simply because he felt like it.

John rested a cheek on Nick’s hips, curling both arms around that waist and just like that he would look up at his love with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Five more minutes?”

Just for a little longer…

“Who could possible say no to tha’ moosh ya got?” Nick questioned as a sort of sweaty palm grabbed John’s face to shake his head. Silly silly boy.

“Five more minutes and then we have ta go, ya don’t wanna be returning home late at night and not be compus mentus tomorraw ol’ sport” he warned and seeing as he was to sit here for five more minutes he would trace little swirly circles on John’s forehead, on his cheek, that face positively demanded to be touched even with hands smelling of steering wheel and leather gloves.

“I am going ta eat ya alive. They gonna find ya with a big ol’ chunk missin’ of ya face for daring ta be so cute” he warned and with a playful bite to the air leaned closer and closer and contorted to kiss John gently on the lips.

“One more minute left” And for exactly fifty three seconds he would devour those soft lips like he wanted to haunt John tonight with the ghost of it.

“I fancy curry” Nick had no idea where to find a curry house so they would just drive around for a bit to find one. John might mention one or John might keep silent in hopes to have Nick aimlessly drive around.

[birdhug]

reflections on my first year of being fully vegan

july will mark one year of me deciding to go vegan so i thought I’d just write some blurbs of stuff ive learned and ways ive grown!

my tastebuds totally changed!! there are so many more foods that i love now that id never thought id enjoy. (particularly soy milk and tofu) this is something that i dont see a lot of people talk about irt veganism but its totally significant. i love veggies so much more than i thought i ever could.

that being said apparently i cant tell the difference between soy milk and dairy because a barista accidentally gave me dairy in my coffee once and i didnt notice until a bunch of sips in that they didnt put the little “S” on the cup over the milk check box thing so ummm thats weird. i havent had dairy in nearly a year but okay

ive realized that there can be people who are usually rational and value objective truth but then they open their mouth on vegan issues (being a nonvegan themselves) and they sound like complete simpletons. (didnt david attenborough, when asked why he wasnt vegan, say something like “you cant feed lions grass”?? lol ok)

yeah when i was a vegetarian i liked being able to just go to tim hortons whenever and get a donut, and i do miss that convenience. but the fact that i cant have donuts or chocolate bars all the time means when i finally do get to have a really delicious veganized dessert, its ten times better and more special

kinda related, im generally WAY better now at just having the presence of mind to resist food that i want to eat in the moment. i used to just gorge myself at parties and stuff and feel awful afterwards. now, whether the food is vegan or not, i can resist it if i know itll make me feel like shit later Even if it would make me happy in the present

ive decided i want to pursue a career in dietetics :)

ive realized why i care so much more about animals. its because i realized that humans hold so much power over every single animal in the world, and throughout history weve largely used that power to kill and mistreat them. i really think in this day and age its our responsibility to use that power to do the best we can to help them. they are at our complete mercy.

i realized that we as a society have been conditioned to see animals as objects first, and living, feeling beings last: their images are used as mascots, symbols, toys, we watch them for entertainment in zoos, marine parks, circuses, we watch cute videos of them online, and we have trained ourselves to see specific animals as food, despite the only relevant difference between a dog and a pig being our arbitrary societal categories in which weve placed them.

ive come to think of caring about animals as “widening my circle of compassion”. and i think its extremely healthy for others do to the same, because its made me just more empathetic to all creatures, human or otherwise, in general

i am...So lucky. my mom was vegan for 4 years before i made the full switch so i was already eating vegan meals most of the time. all the groceries in the house are vegan. all the restaurants we go to have substantial vegan options. and i have someone close to me that i can talk about this kind of stuff with. but there are so many kids my age that want to go vegan more than anything that have to deal with an unsupportive family and i really feel for them. & i honestly dont blame them at all if they just want to give up or succumb to the pressure of their family. please, dont risk your mental health. take care of yourself first and do what you can.

i used to feel like its pointless going vegan because nothing is ever going to change but like. now that im exposed to the community and veg related news is coming my way i feel SO much more hopeful for the future. so many more people r going reducetarian, corporations are investing in vegan food companies and theyre absolutely blowing up, the dairy & meat industries are starting to panic. were not going to see instant change but like...shit is happening folks. keep fighting the good fight.

ALSO i used to feel so hopeless about climate change. like when i was taught about in school there was no actionable advice given? it was always like “uh yeah were all gonna die. recycle and walk to school i guess” but knowing how much an impact cutting animal products out of ur diet makes only motivates me to do more! (yeah it may seem small but its better to think of it that way rather than “weh theres nothing i can do so i might as well not do anything”)

i know that theres a large percentage of vegans/vegetarians that “go back”. so how can i say that i wont??? i feel really confident that i wont because its just so....easy for me now. you see that most people start eating animal products again because its too inconvenient for them but Honestly after living in a vegan household for 5 years and having access to all the information and resources that ive had...i really cant possibly imagine a good excuse. it just comes so naturally to me. its so fucking easy. boff future-me upside the head if i ever voluntarily go back

in conclusion this is the best decision ive made & its changed my life in a major way and ive never been happier about my choices in life...and ummmmm thats it. please consider reducing your animal product consumption to whatever extent you feel comfortable. it would mean the world to me

& id really appreciate if you didnt reblog this!!

[msupr2017-blog]

Is this monopoly or self-censorship?

An article titled “A startup just sued Google for censoring its 'free speech' social network” was published on Mashable website on September 15, 2017.  (http://mashable.com/2017/09/15/gab-sues-google-anti-trust-play-store/#MUKacyw6Fqq1)  Gab (https://gab.ai/), which describes itself as “Ad-free social media for all”, provides the social media platform via its website and app for mobile devices.  The social media site is suing Google for booting its app from the Google Play Store, and accusing Google of violating federal antitrust laws.

Google Play Store and Apple App Store these two app stores dominate the majority of mobile device application market.  And since the Android operating system is developed by Google, Google Play Store is the largest app store for Android devices. As of January 2017, Google Play Store has over 2.7 million apps.  Therefore, in a certain way, Google Play Store is a monopoly in Android app market.  But is this the reason that why Google booted Gab app from Google Play Store?

We have learned that during the development of Telegraph in the United States, monopoly company emerged eventually by expansion and swallowing up its competitors.  (Boff, R. B. D. Business demand and the development of the telegraph in the United States, 1844-1860. The Business History Review. 54(4):459-47.)  But in Gab’s case, because Google is NOT a company focus on the social media platform, it doesn’t look like that Google booted Gab is for promoting or protecting its own social media platform/apps.  If Google wants to expand its social media platform business, obviously the acquisition is one of the best options.

Maybe the action of booting certain app from Google Play Store is kind of the self-censorship.  The self-censorship by media has existed for a long time.  The major reason is interests related, the newspaper may not publish some articles to prevent the withdrawing of business advertising.  (Craig, R. L. Business, advertising, and the social control of news. Journal of Communication Inquiry. July 2004, 28(3), 233.)  Another reason for the self-censorship could be non-monetary related, which may include market pressure, potential risk, legal issue and etc.  In Gab’s case, an email from Google Play Support to Gab said it "violates the hate speech policy."  I think the situation was complicated, while I still doubt that even the users post some inappropriate information on Gab platform, why Gab itself should take the blame?

[thedemonconstantine]

adventurepunks​:

“I can spare all tha space ya want. I will put some stuff in storage in tha shop until I sell it on or donate it or somethang if needed but ta be honest with ya some thangs need ta go. Like tha armchair, it’s nevah used ya get? Best for it ta go and we can turn tha living room and ya can have that place over there for ya desk and a nice chair” Nick pointed towards that corner by the window in his apartment even though they were at John’s so they had to imagine it, it might be a nice spot for a desk, a little bit of sun in the morning and with a little creativity everything would fit.

“Linen, plates, cutlery it will be good ta have spares in case we break some or don’t wash as we go one evenin’. Uh, ya fridge is nicer than mine,ya radio. We can then have one in tha kitchen one in tha living room.” How beautiful domesticity was, how comforting the thought of spare things for they meant another soul shared everything of his.

Nick made a grunting little noise when his feet were rubbed and how until now he had not realized how tired they were.

“Please do stop by I would love ta see ya even if it’s a passing hello. Even if it’s popping ya head through tha door ta give me a wave it will warm ma heart and make ma day” He meant it, he meant every word of it.

Nick looked at the time and then slid his arm around John’s shoulders. “Four more weeks and I will be waiting for ya ta come home. If ya working till tha evening…if ya working nights then I will see ya in tha morning.” Days would exist where they would be on opposite shifts and only seeing each other in passing but that was alright. At least he would see him.

“We should go get some dinnah and then I’ll drop ya back”

“Aye well I wouldn’t mind a smidge if tha’ armchair kin ‘old th’ boff o’ us. Perfect spot fer a nap, innit? Wiff yeh on me lap all nice ‘n warm,” John teased though he did agree that the corner with that neglected armchair would be a perfect spot for his work desk and shelf.

How strange was it that he could practically envision Nick’s flat, down to the number of tiles in the bathroom and the faint grease stains along that tiny kitchen wall, when he could barely remember the colour of his own wall clock?

“Linen, plates, cutlery, radio ‘n fridge it is. Me clunky ‘eater too, so we kin ‘ave yehs in th’ bedroom ‘n mine in th’ livin’,” John decided and let his hands wander from those ankles to the calves beneath those trouser legs, oh who could blame him for leaning in to press his lips to a clothed inner thigh just to nuzzle a kiss right there, simply because he felt like it.

John rested a cheek on Nick’s hips, curling both arms around that waist and just like that he would look up at his love with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Five more minutes?”

Just for a little longer…