#I began watching this back in January 2023

[would-you-punt-them]

Imagine watching a show with probably the most surface level potrayal of the message of "rich people suck and will use poor people for money" only to be like "hm. as the total anthesis of this message i should totally recreate this"

It's made even worse when you consider the fact that this isn't the first "IRL Squid Game" ever attempted, Netflix UK did one that was specifically based on the actual show in January 2023 called "Squid Game: The Challenge".

(I've seen people in the tags get these two shows confused, they are different - Beast Games is on Amazon, not Netflix, was filmed at the end of July this year, and hasn't come out yet).

But Netflix UK have their own scandal to answer for.

That original British Squid Game was also a disaster. "Beast Games" was filmed in the middle of one of Nevada's hottest Julys on record, hence why so many contestants suffered from extreme dehydration due to the lack of water. On the other hand, "Squid Game: The Challenge" was filmed during an unusually cold British January.

The players had been given coats, leg warmers, space heaters, and so on during the lead up to the game, only to have those warm clothes taken away before the first challenge began, because they needed to wear those paper thin canon-accurate Squid Game tracksuits. They weren't even allowed to zip them up, because the cameras needed to see the numbers on their shirts, and the fake blood spurting out when they were eliminated.

They then had to play Redlight-Greenlight in the blistering cold, holding poses, completely still, for increasing lengths of time (2 minutes at the start of the game, 30 in the late stages). Players starting collapsing from the cold, and had to be rescued by medics.

The game started with 456 competitors on Day 1, and ended up with 228 by Day 2.

Here's the Variety article: Inside Netflix’s ‘Squid Game’ Reality Show Disaster: ‘The Conditions Were Absolutely Inhumane’

TL;DR - Here are some choice quotes in case you want to read them:

“The second time the song played, I saw in my left peripheral vision that this girl was swaying. Then she just buckled, and you could hear her head actually hit the ground,” says Marlene. “But then someone came on the [microphone] and said to hold our positions because the game is not paused. After that, people were dropping like flies.”

Jenny, a player from outside the U.K. who had been flown in for the game, tells Variety: “I’m infuriated by the narrative that Netflix is putting out there, that only [a few] people were injured…we were all injured just by going through that experience.

“I’ve never been that cold for that long a period in my life. We couldn’t feel our feet or our toes. It was ridiculous,” she says. Jenny also claims that while the game was in production, restroom or water breaks weren’t allowed.

“Take some responsibility for the fact that you were ill-prepared for this kind of thing, with this number of people,” continues Jenny, between tears. “There were some things I guess [producers] didn’t think about, but when they saw the weather was going to be that way, they should have made adjustments.”

All three players [John, Marlene and Jenny] say they returned to the hotel between 7 p.m. and midnight without having dinner. Dinner orders had been taken at lunch, but because the game had run longer than expected, contestants were transported back to their central London hotel without having eaten. Production had ordered pizzas for those arriving, but there wasn’t enough food to go around, and some people went to bed hungry.

“In the morning, I woke up and there was a cold hamburger from McDonald’s and a side salad in front of my door that had been there for God knows how long,” says Marlene.

(Variety, Feb 3, 2023)

(Also, "Marlene and Jenny" are pseudonyms, because like Beast Game they signed NDAs.)

There are some other similarities with Beast Games - denial of bathroom breaks, lack of food, lack of water, inadequate medical care, and so on.

Netflix is denying these claims, or at least denying that they are as bad as contestants are suggesting, and said that while it was undeniably cold on set, "participants were prepared for that". Participants have claimed that they were, in fact, in no way prepared for that.

We know MrBeast has probably seen "Squid Game: The Challenge", because they've tried to one-up it. The British show originally had "the biggest cash-prize ever offered in reality TV" ($4.5 million), until Beast Games showed up with an ever bigger prize of $5 million.

So, it's not just "Jimmy recreating the Torment Nexus after watching the show "Don't recreate the Torment Nexus".

It's closer to "Jimmy recreating the Torment Nexus from the show "Don't create the Torment Nexus", after watching the show "This is what happens when you create the Torment Nexus".

[ekgfiction]

Hi, I'm back?

...Hello everyone ! This is a very much needed update after a long time of not posting... sorry.

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who sent me a kind message, you are angels and I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer your questions.

For those who don't wish to read a long text that looks too much like a page from my diary, here is the summary. I'm officially back working on OLYMPUS. I don't promise you much, but one update a month for now (not necessarily a game update, but an update on me working on the game...yay?).

My 4 goals for January are a lot of ground:

Finish the character pages

Relearning twine

Update the outdated info on Tumblr / itch.io

Fix prologue (because of changes in the outline)

And for those who are nosy like me and want to understand what I was doing until now, buckle up !

I started this blog in the summer of 2021 and posted the demo for OLYMPUS exactly three years ago, in 2022. At the time, I was living alone in the US, with no life outside of work and this project, which was very dear to me. It was my first "real" creative project I wanted to be serious about. I was also very depressed, being alone and away from friends and family sucked.

When I came back to France in the summer of 2022, I was determined to work on the game again. But then, real adult life happened ! My health issues, that I didn’t understand yet, started to really affect me. I lost two dear family members, saw my best friend become a mother and discovered that being a teacher is a fucking hard job. I was an intern teacher and had a final exam at the end of the school year to be a "real" teacher. So I focused on that, and it was a success. A couple of days after that, I decided to go back to OLYMPUS, and that’s when my laptop broke.

The one I had since I was 18 years old. Which contained not only all my class materials from my first year as a teacher, but also my essays and memories of my college years, and all my writing. And I mean, all my writing. From my very first bad fan fiction on Amour Sucré (or My Candy Love in English) that I wrote when I was a teenager and that I managed to save on my laptop, to all my documents on OLYMPUS, a project which had 5 years at this point. I was devastated.

Moving to the Paris suburbs for work didn’t help. I was finally back living somewhere close to my friends and family, when my job made me move far away again, to one of the most expensive and yet hardest place to work as a teacher in France. Because of the very high rent, I was first in a shared apartment, which was not the greatest. Work was even harder to manage. At the end of 2023, I felt stuck, watching life around me move forward while I barely kept up.

In 2024, things began to shift. I let go of some things and people, but made new friends, joined a DnD group, traveled, and even saw Dimension20 live in London (how crazy is that !). I moved out of my shared apartment into a cozy studio, traveled around France to see my loved ones, and finally got a diagnosis for my autoimmune disease, which helped me understand and manage my health. I also bought a new computer and started writing again !

Not on OLYMPUS though, no. Not at first.

The thought of returning to it felt overwhelming. The asks in my inbox, the followers, and the questions on itch.io made it feel like an impossible task. I convinced myself it was too ambitious of a project for a beginner like me. That no one cared anymore—not even me. It’s better if it stays a a silly little daydream I think about on my way to work.

Then, someone left me a kind comment asking if I was still working on the game. It wasn’t the first time someone asked me that, but something clicked. I thought of the me that posted the demo in 2022, how she felt and how I feel now. Maybe, if I started again now, it would be alright? I feel better, healthier. Instead of seeing the project as a burden, something I didn’t accomplish, a very public failure, I wanted to give it another shot. And if I failed again, so what? At least I'd tried. I don't to give up on this story.

I had to start from scratch of course, because everything but the demo on itch.io was lost. Rewrote the world building and the outline. I haven’t finished everything, but I finally feel like I am at a good place to start working on it again. Like, actually working, writing it. Not just my world building, or the outline. I am sure I made a lot of changes from plans I had before, and will probably change it again at some point. But that’s fine. You're pretty much having the first draft of the game anyway, and it'll be easier to rework things than to start anew every time.

This time, I’m being realistic: I’ve set aside four hours a week to write, balancing work, hobbies, friends, family, and my health. It doesn’t sound like much, but to me it sounds manageable, and adaptable to my work and my health. It means I could update you once a month on things I plan to do and have done.

So, for January ! The plan is to finish the character pages, which should take a week. Then, I want to spend some time on twine to relearn how to use it and eventually redo the prologue to fit the new outline. I also have to update itch.io and tumblr as well. Basically, a lot of ground work to let me start the final week of January with the first work path of chapter 1.

Anyway, if you read everything and reached this far, omg thank you so much and sorry I know it was way too long.

Really, thank you. I can't explain how much you, and all of this means to me. Your likes, comments, asks kept this project alive when I didn't believe in it nor in myself.

Love, Elena

[cocogum]

There’s something off about Yugo now.

‼️ SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 ‼️

LEAVE AT THE WARNING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FIRST FOUR EPISODES.

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Way before 2024 hit, when Tot was still teasing us with some snippets of Season 4 on Twitter, there was a time when one of his tweets made some people think about what he meant.

The specific tweet was made on the 10th of January of 2023 at 5:10 AM which showed a small scene of Yugo once said that THIS scene in particular was going to change Yugo forever

Here’s the full translation:

“Season 4 of Wakfu is going well my friends…Here’s a small snippet of Yugo that makes me want to cry. 🥲”

We didn’t know at the time what he could’ve meant by that or what that specific scene that saddened him was even about.

But now that Wakfu Season 4 is out, we were able to watch that same scene that happened in episode 3.

And omg it makes perfect sense now.

In his tweet where he addressed his feelings for the scene, Tot specified that this moment would be the last time we see Yugo, the last scene before saying goodbye.

Some people, back when the tweet was still recent, thought Tot might have been implying that Yugo would actually die or possibly gain his adult form through this scene where he’s surrounded by his mother’s blue hues.

But now that we’ve watched the actual episode where this same scene Tot was talking about took place, we can all finally confirm that neither of those two things happened.

Because what happened ended up being far worse than that.

Yes, what’s worse than Yugo dying or growing up to an alarming speed is nothing compared to what actually happened :

Yugo’s mindset changed.

When Yugo met the Eliatrope goddess for the first time (in this life at least), he explicitly told her that he does not know her, therefore, he cannot sympathize with what she’s saying to him. Yugo could see how she was crying when she told him, Nora, and Qilby she missed them as well as her other children and that she promises them she wouldn’t be away from them any longer.

Yugo doesn’t react to this, only Nora and Qilby truly understand the power behind her words.

But as soon as the Eliatrope goddess puts Yugo to rest for a while, the moment he wakes up was as if he changed his mind completely.

He claims that his mother is the purest of the pure and that she’s so perfect that she can’t express any negative emotions. Keep this in mind for later.

He truly believes what he’s saying and cannot fathom the fact that she may be imperfect in some ways.

His mind did a complete 360 to the point where he immediately joins the Eliatrope goddess, Nora, and Qilby’s cause. He changed his mind so quickly that even Nora noticed and brought it up.

When the assembly began, Yugo was proud of showing up first to welcome his mother and he proudly stated her arrival to the rulers. He had even told Joris that he insisted on being as forward as possible to the rulers and to welcome his mother appropriately.

Now, remember when I stated that Yugo does not believe that the Eliatrope goddess can express any negative emotions?

Well, it turns out he was wrong.

Not even a full hour passed, and the Eliatrope goddess was already in a full confrontation with one of the rulers, the queen of Bonta, Astra. When someone, especially a higher being, is claimed to be a pure being with no flaws, it usually means that they cannot even fathom the idea of expressing a negative emotion or struggling to keep it in.

But the reason why this scene was just so important to focus on was because THIS is supposed to be the goddess of love, the goddess that represents purity (no wonder people were beings suspicious of her. How are you gonna be called the embodiment of ‘love’ and yet express something that is out of your agenda?)

So the reason why we need to focus on this moment, is because the goddess hesitated.

This is what makes Yugo’s claims about her being perfect completely wrong.

And since his declarations were very much flawed, his current way of thinking can only mean one thing :

Something has gone wrong.

From what we’ve been able to witness from his slumber, Yugo was able to see how he and his siblings were created by their mother, how their original planet came to be, how their mother got thrown aside, banished by the other gods and ended up in the Necroworld, and how she got saved by Nora and Efrim.

To us, this sequence must’ve probably lasted for about three minutes or so but to Yugo, this moment lasted far longer than that. He must’ve seen the details, heard a lot of recrimination from the other gods, and seen his mother’s suffering from being cast aside. All of this pain and suffering that she must’ve felt was what made Yugo side with her and her cause.

But as much as his sudden want to be closer to her makes sense, it doesn’t mean that Yugo’s portrayal of his mother is true. Anyone can tell that the Eliatrope goddess had broken a very important major rule: DO NOT use a planet for yourself. She had betrayed the trust of the other gods without any explanation other than wanting to have children and making a world for herself.

Yugo saw it all and yet he did not think that she made a mistake. He does not care if she went against the other gods (creating a world for herself), he does not care if she wants to monitor the world (she has told this in front of all the authorities of the world), he does not care if she wants to infuse vigilantism (again, she told this in front of the leaders of the world), and he does not care if all the commanders of the world do not side with her ideas (he deliberately chose to follow her as soon as she left the assembly).

But it seems like even when he was not, at the time, sleeping under her energy, he didn’t care if people with bad intentions got paralyzed for some undetermined amount of time as punishment (he was watching Nora and Adamaï fight the rogues). That could have been an early hint that he would do much more than just stand aside and not say anything in matters like these but rather silently do what his mother wishes to do.

Since he embraces everything that she is, he embraces everything that she wants to do or has done.

Another thing I should mention is the fact that ever since he woke up, he started calling the Eliatrope goddess “mother”, implying that he now felt completely comfortable with knowing and understanding that she was truly his creator, mother.

As you can see, every time he addresses her, it’s always by calling her his mother, which is factually true, but again, he has just met her and is already completely enamoured by her. His admiration and respect towards her makes sense because he has seen everything that she’s been through while sleeping.

The problem is that even when he considers her perfect, he doesn’t seem to understand that the people around her (besides Nora and Qilby) DO NOT agree with her plans.

Yugo does not understand why Adamaï left because his intuition was telling him that something was very wrong about all of this (even though Yugo wasn’t too convinced by the Eliatrope goddess, he was still taking a neutral side at the time. Even though he didn’t completely understand his mother at that moment, this still counts as an event where Yugo did not think about the Eliatrope goddess’s ways even when his brother told him something was off. Also, if Yugo did see his mother’s suffering at that moment, he would have still most likely sided with her.)

Yugo also does not understand what the leaders are trying to say and how right they are (even though they have mistreated the Eliatrope goddess in the process). One of them, the queen of Bonta, makes very good points that the goddess should have answered and explained.

But instead of taking a moment to think about it or try to at least think about how the rulers are feeling right now, Yugo simply leaves them and goes right back to the goddess.

This is a very surprising decision of his because Yugo has lived his entire life in the World of Twelve. He has not only lived here but has met a lot of different people, gone through life and death for them, saved numerous victims and fought off enemies for them, and did all that in the same world where he is currently turning his back to the very rulers of it.

Tot wasn’t wrong when he said Yugo wouldn’t be the same.

And we’re starting to see it.

It’s becoming more obvious and I’m sure that at some point, there could be another fight between Yugo and Adamaï happening, or perhaps even a misunderstanding.

[fettesans]

Top, screen capture from Material Witness OR A Liquid Cop, Ed Atkins, 2012. Watch (ubu is back btw). Bottom, Roman Signer, Wagen, 1998, 120 x 108 x 60 cm. Via.

--

The social dimension of pain is thus suppressed and repressed. Chronic pain, a pathological phenomenon of the burnout society, does not give rise to protest. In the neoliberal society, tiredness is apolitical. It is a tiredness-of-the-I, a symptom of the overstretching of the narcissistic subject of performance. Tiredness isolates us instead of binding us together into a We. I-tiredness must be distinguished from We-tiredness, which is the product of a community. I-tiredness is the best defence against revolution.

Byung-Chul Han, from The Palliative Society, 2021. Via.

--

Accelerationalism began life as the British cousin of the Californian philosophy of Extropianism, which also began in the early 1990s (as I wrote here). There’s a similar anarcho-libertarianism, hyper-capitalism, worship of new technology and expectation of a sudden leap beyond the human. But this wasn’t California, it was Coventry — and Accelerationism was much darker and more nihilistic than Californian transhumanism. After all, Land’s first book was called ‘Thirst for Annihilation’.

Land has said: ‘I have no interest in human liberation, or liberation of the human species. I’m interested in liberation of the means of production’. In other words, Accelerationism had nothing to do with expanding human potential. This was not Californian self-help. This was about liberating the machine from the human. Accelerationism aimed to push capitalism further and faster, until it’s just machines whirring round in a lifeless universe. Pure Fordism.

The CCRU grew out of cybernetics, and the sense that humans are agents in a world full of other agents — machines, ecosystems, DNA, perhaps demons as well. All these entities have desires. Machines have desires. Why foreground human desires and aspirations? The obvious answer is because we’re human. But that’s not enough for post-human philosophies. For Accelerationists, the aim is the liberation of What Technology Wants. Here’s a quote from a good write-up by Yuxi Lin at LessWrong:

our world, with its cars, finances, AI, and other industrial technologies, has a clear goal of its own: a future dominated by more upgraded versions of these technologies, with humans becoming extinct or irrelevant.

You can come across this idea in Californian transhumanism / Extropianism too. It’s humans’ glorious destiny to be supplanted by AI machines. But transhumanists typically imagine super-intelligent spiritual machines, far smarter than humans. It’s a worship of intelligence. With Accelerationism, at least in Land’s case, I get the feeling it’s more a misanthropic hatred of the human condition and a desire to annihilate consciousness and replace it with the machine. It’s philosophy as modish death-wish.

Jules Evans, from Accelerationism, amphetamine philosophy, and the Death Trip, January 21, 2023.

[saturniandevil]

February 2025 Important Dates

AKA my notes on The Astrology Podcast's February forecast, hosted by Chris Brennan and Austin Coppock. Ironically I'm late for the shortest month of the year, but anyways let's get started.

January Recap: The year began on a Mars-Pluto opposition, coinciding with the attacks in New Orleans & Las Vegas. Mars retrograding into Cancer, the sign of the home, brought him closest to the Earth he gets during his orbit and signaled the beginning of massive wildfires in the LA area (Mars was also illuminated by the Cancer Full Moon). The Venus retrograde is also a factor here (Venus entered Pisces, the sign to which she'll regress later), though I don't quite agree with our hosts' decision to focus on chart for the incorporation of Los Angeles itself, as the worst-affected areas like Altadena, Malibu, and the Pacific Palisades are all separate municipalities--maybe a chart relating to Los Angeles County would be more fitting for a metropole that's so spread out. The TikTok "ban" story happened right as the Venus-Saturn conjunction went exact in Pisces, and the 75-day extension allowing it to operate right now ends on the day Venus will conjoin Saturn in Pisces while retrograde.

More Mars stories include Justin Trudeau resigning the day Mars regressed into Cancer. During the Mars-Sun opposition right on the heels of the Cancer Full Moon (January 14th-15th--midpoint of the retrograde), South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol was arrested (who declared martial law on the Mars station). On the 15th during the Sun-Mars opposition we finally saw a ceasefire in Gaza, tying closely to Mars's position at 26 Libra on October 7, 2023. Mars-Sun developments and ~26 degrees of cardinal signs are definitely degrees to watch for this story. Venus's ingress and upcoming retrograde may also be indicating a return home for Palestinians displaced during the past 15 months.

Donald Trump's second inauguration was moved inside due to cold, the same as with Reagan's second term--another Venus retrograde in Aries time. Venus rx gives us comebacks, and not always ones we want. There was also a comet in attendance during this event, as was one during the April eclipse and during the election last year. His orders setting new ICE deportation/detaining quotas are a continuation of Mars entering Cancer last fall when this topic was first raised, and the Saturn-Neptune in Pisces story is also related.

The Sun-Pluto conjunction in Aquarius on January 20th-21st (& Uranus station surprising us) coincided with the US government investing $500 billion in AI, especially in power for the data centers (will nuclear energy come back as an alternative because of the massive power demand for this?), and DeepSeek surpassed OpenAI in popularity & use. The chart of the PRC has the Ascendant and Moon in early Aquarius, though the Pluto in Aquarius story re: China & technological innovations dates back thousands of years, pointing (in Chris's & Nick Dagan Best's opinion) to some older early chart now likely lost to time.

We entered the month of February right off Uranus's last direct station in Taurus before he enters Gemini in July, bringing disruptions and shakeups into the beginning of the month. (A/N: did anyone else have half their workplace out sick last week?) In Taurus, money can both disappear and come from nowhere--some surprises are good! Chris's electional chart was for February 1st so I'll skip it for this month.

February 1st - Venus conjunct Neptune The eclipse points, the Nodes, just changed signs, putting the North Node in Pisces with Saturn & Neptune, with Venus soon to join when she retrogrades. Events or people that seemed dreamy and rosy at the beginning of February may prove to be the opposite during the course of Venus rx. The North Node (Rahu, head of the dragon) brings a ravenous hunger to events.

February 4th - Venus entered Aries, Jupiter stationed Direct For Jupiter this is marks his last few weeks in Gemini for the next year or so. With a near-perfect trine to his ruler Mercury, we have an extra boost to our positive developments. Retrograde Jupiter is a good time to followup, and now that he's direct boons can move forward for us. Chris predicts some kind of development in voice AI technologies kickstarting around this time.

Venus ingressed from her exaltation of Pisces to exile (detriment) in Aries, and she's slowing down, making things a little more complicated than usual. With the upcoming retrograde, events we feel in our Aries houses will take three passes to full resolve this time around. She's going to be in this sign until March 27th, and will be back here from April to June. Venus in Aries can give us bombshell charisma, like that of Marilyn Monroe or Lady Gaga. Venus retrogrades have also aligned with large protest movements, especially around women's issues. Venus retrogrades in the same sign every 8 years, so look back to 2017 or 2009 for stories around this. Our hosts bring up how Lady Gaga exploded on the scene in 2009 and indeed she released a new song reminiscent of her early career right before the Venus ingress--right on time for Venus returning! In personal charts, Venus rx prompts us to reevaluate what we really want, sometimes deconstructing things to build them back up in a new way. Check your Aries house for which area of your chart where this will occur. Pay attention to cues of attraction and repulsion during this time.

February 9th - Sun conjunct Mercury This Mercury cazimi occurs closely square Uranus, an aspect that goes exact the next day. The disruptive Uranus events from the beginning of the month will come back to us.

February 10th - Mercury square Uranus

February 11th - Sun square Uranus

February 12th - Full Moon in Leo

This Full Moon occurs square Uranus just as the Mercury cazimi did. With Uranus in Taurus and the Sun in Aquarius, we can expect tech and finance to be at cross-purposes at this time. Electricity and energy will likely be key concerns around this time, especially around wrapping up the use of petroleum oil first proposed in 1855 (though it's not the only fossil fuel). Austin sees crypto as a premonition that energy may back future currencies instead of something like gold. Leo full Moons are always loud, flashy, and showy. This is the last full Moon before the Venus retrograde, before Inanna descends to the underworld, stripped of her ornaments and garments until she awkwardly meets Ereshkigal at the end of the elevator.

February 14th - Mercury enters Pisces Happy Valentine's Day!

February 18th - Sun enters Pisces

February 20th - Mercury square Jupiter

February 23rd Mars stations Direct From February 12th to March 9th, Mars will stay completely put at 17 degrees of Cancer. Anyone with placements at mid-cardinal signs, prepare for Mars to be there!

We're finally direct, but Mars gets going very slowly. "Let's train and prepare first instead of bolting ahead," he says. Projects that have been going on in this area of life may be finally paying off. Mars in the middle decan of Cancer is good for protecting, defending, and fortifying, including reinforcing or strengthening muscles or structures. The dark side of this, especially in world events, include nativism/nationalism, racism, and other us-versus-them aggression. However, Venus is set to react in a firey way to whatever events Mars sets off when she stations on March 1st. Cardinal risings will feel these stations especially strongly, possibly as turning points in conflicts, as these planets both station in angular houses for you.

February 25th - Sun conjunct Saturn

February 27th - New Moon in Pisces

The Mercury-Saturn conjunction (20-24 ♓) is still strong, possibly inhibiting communication, while Venus (10♈) and Jupiter (12♊) get about as close as they will to a sextile before she turns back to reevaluate things before fully realizing that positive thing. This stellium in Pisces (Sun/Moon/Saturn/Mercury/South Node/Neptune) takes us into a vivid, dreamy, and sometimes nightmarish space in stark contrast to the dry Aquarian energy we've experienced for much of the month. There are many strange creatures under the waves, not all of them real. Mercury will also be ramping up for a retrograde in Aries and Pisces as we get into early March, showing us even more events that we'll be returning to later. The end of February looks a lot like April; we're not gonna be done with this for awhile. With eclipse coming up, our sensory deprivation tank will become a sleep deprivation tank as we walk the edge of the coming maelstrom.

[elegantballetalk]

Today's watch:

Sofia Valiullina, Laurencia, 2023

Today's read:

Sofia Valiullina interview January 22, 2025

The heroine of our “Zemlyaki” (“Countrymen”) column is Sofya Valiullina, a ballet artist with the Bolshoi Theater of Russia and laureate of international competitions. Sofya was born in Ufa and began her ballet studies in the capital of Bashkortostan. The Bashinform news agency has written more than once about this young ballerina’s early successes and continues to follow her creative journey with great interest.

— Sofya, we, your countrymen, are proud that you became a ballerina at the Bolshoi Theater of Russia. Can you say that your childhood dream has come true? What does working on the country’s main stage mean to you?

— Yes, you could say my dream has come true, because I first danced on the Bolshoi Theater stage in 2018 at the anniversary evening of Svetlana Adyrkhaeva, a prima ballerina and teacher at the Bolshoi. At that time, I was still a student at the Vaganova Ballet Academy in St. Petersburg and, honestly, I never imagined I’d end up working here. But deep in my soul, I felt that I would return to this stage as a performer someday.

For me, working on the country’s main stage carries huge responsibility. Everyone expects not only a clean, successful performance, but also wants to see your growth—how you bring each role to life. I work with my teacher-repetiteur Olga Ivanovna Chenchikova.

The Bolshoi Theater is a place of tough competition, but that’s exactly what motivates me. It pushes me to learn from my colleagues. It is an enormous joy and privilege to stand on the same stage with legendary artists, to take class with the best teachers—stars of Russian ballet—and to take part in production rehearsals.

— Which roles have you already danced on the Bolshoi stage? Did any of them come with a special sense of excitement?

— I’ve danced various roles and variations, but the one I remember most vividly is my debut as Myrtha in the ballet Giselle. That was my first season at the theater, about two months after I started working there. The most remarkable part is that while I was still at the Vaganova Academy, before I began working at the theater, my teacher Lyudmila Valentinovna Kovalyova suggested I start rehearsing Myrtha so I could later show it to the director of the Mariinsky Theater. We worked on small sections of the role and broke them down. But in the end, I never got to present it back then. And when I found out I would dance Myrtha as a Bolshoi artist, I was overjoyed and extremely grateful.

— Do you have your own following or fan base? Have you met them?

— Yes, of course! Even back when I was studying at the Academy, a large number of audience members were following our progress. We came to Moscow many times with graduation and other performances, dancing on the stage of the Kremlin Palace. Later, those same audience members began attending performances at the Bolshoi. After a show, they wait at the stage door, bring thoughtful, memorable gifts, and ask for autographs.

— I first heard of you when you were a little “star” in Ufa, someone with great promise. Tell us about how your path into the world of professional art began.

— Since I was born into a family of musicians, I started my journey with music as well. First, I played the violin a little, then the piano. But I was a restless child; I couldn’t sit at the piano for more than 20 minutes and would constantly run off. If I was studying piano with my mom at music school, I’d dash out of the classroom and wander the halls. At home, I couldn’t run off anywhere, so I’d practice in tears. After some time, my mother enrolled me in the Bravo Dance Theater. At first, it frightened me a bit because it was something totally new. But when I saw how the older girls did their exercises in pointe shoes, I was mesmerized. And one day, during another piano lesson at music school, I slammed the piano lid shut and firmly told my mother: “I’m going to be a ballerina. That’s it!” That’s how I began discovering the beautiful world of ballet.

I’ve had many fateful encounters in my life, one of them with Maestro Vladimir Spivakov. First I performed at his concert, and later the Spivakov Foundation invited me to perform in Moscow at the festival’s opening. That ultimately decided my move to St. Petersburg. Over time, the Spivakov Foundation continued to support us through difficult times during my studies.

— Who was your first ballet teacher in Ufa?

— My first teacher was Svetlana Anvarovna Kharisova, an Honored Arts Worker of the Republic of Bashkortostan, at the Bravo Children’s Dance Theater. She graduated from the Leningrad Choreographic School (now the Vaganova Academy). Together with Svetlana Anvarovna, we traveled to many competitions and always won prizes. She was the one who guided my future. At one competition, she took my mother to the jury members and said: “Please explain to this mother that her daughter needs to attend a choreographic school,” because my mother had doubts. Svetlana Anvarovna prepared me for admission to the Vaganova Academy. I’m very grateful to her and her husband, who was also my mentor, Ravis Mudarisovich.

— Was it difficult for a girl from Ufa to adapt to the rigorous routine of this institution, which has such a long history and its own traditions?

— I first visited the Academy as a child. I came to St. Petersburg for a children’s competition, and Svetlana Anvarovna introduced me to her own teacher, Irina Trofimova. Irina Alexandrovna was one of the students of Agrippina Yakovlevna Vaganova herself (such is the continuity of tradition). She looked at me and said: “Yes, she needs to apply as soon as she turns 10.”

When I entered the legendary Academy, I immediately decided I had to study there, no matter what. Of course, at first, it was hard. It involved moving to a different city (at first I lived in the dorm), and then my mother and I rented an apartment. But on the other hand, in my very first year, I became a participant in the first “Sinyaya Ptitsa” (“Blue Bird”) television competition. Then I danced the role of little Masha in Vainonen’s The Nutcracker; there were tours to Japan; and at the same time, the Mariinsky Theater had its own repertoire where Academy students also performed. On weekends and holidays, we practically lived at the theater. But that kind of early stage experience showed us what we were going into this profession for, and that the stage is our life.

I was fortunate to study at the Academy with the best teachers: Lyudmila Ivanovna Komolova, Elena Georgievna Zabalkanskaya, and I graduated under Professor Lyudmila Valentinovna Kovalyova—an Honored Arts Worker of Russia. I also consider the Academy’s rector, Nikolai Maksimovich Tsiskaridze, to be one of my teachers, since all our rehearsal work on performances took place under his supervision. Each of these individuals invested their heart, skill, experience, and professionalism in their students.

— One of your greatest supporters is your mother, Gulnaz Valiullina, known in the arts community as a wonderful pianist, accompanist, and teacher. Could you have achieved such success without her all-around support?

— It’s precisely thanks to my mother that I’ve been able to accomplish what I have today. She’s always by my side, supporting me. For a child to succeed in anything, it’s not just about physical capability but also about motivation and a drive for success. None of that can happen without the backing of loved ones, which my mother has always given me. Leaving behind a good job and a settled life in Ufa, she moved to St. Petersburg so I could study, making sure I had everything I needed.

I also want to say a special “thank you” to my nanny, Flyura Badgetdinovna. She wasn’t a musician, but it was from her that I inherited my love of dance and ballet. When she was young, she dreamed of becoming a ballerina, but in the difficult post-war years, it wasn’t possible for someone from a village to study ballet. Still, she performed folk dances as part of amateur groups. Later, working as a nanny, she took her main charge to the Bravo Dance Theater—taking me along too, since my mom was busy with concerts or competitions and had a very demanding schedule. So together we would watch the older girls who danced various repertoire. When I was five, someone noticed me and invited me to try. I ended up being one of the youngest in the group.

— I know there are some prominent cultural figures of Bashkortostan in your family tree. Tell us a bit about your lineage.

— I come from a family of musicians. My mother, Gulnaz Faritovna, is a pianist; my aunt, Liliya Gabidullina, is a violinist (she worked for a long time in the Miràs Ensemble orchestra and now teaches at children’s music schools No. 11 and No. 1 named after Sabitov). My maternal grandfather (whom I never met; he passed away very young) was a self-taught accordion player. From what the family says, he was amazing—no celebration took place without him. On my mother’s side, there is also a singer, Honored Artist of the Republic of Bashkortostan Insaf Galimov.

On my mother’s side, our relatives include well-known poets: People’s Poet of Bashkortostan Ravil Shammas, and his son, poet, journalist, translator, and professor at the Department of Journalism at Ufa University of Science and Technology, Almas Shammasov. Our lineage also goes back to the noted Bashkir poet and journalist, Honored Arts Worker of the Bashkir ASSR, Yakub Kulmyi.

My father, Nikolai Ivanovich, is a famous and talented musician and teacher, an Honored Worker of Culture of Bashkortostan and Russia. In St. Petersburg, my mother worked at the S. S. Prokofiev School of Arts and at the M. P. Mussorgsky College, and also collaborated with such legendary singers as Larisa Gogolevskaya (Honored Artist of Russia and soloist at the Mariinsky Theater) and Valeria Sten’kina (Honored Artist of Russia). Now my mother has moved with me to Moscow, where she still manages to give concerts and perform with her soloists and students.

— Can one say that a ballerina’s destiny is a path of self-denial, perhaps even sacrifice in the name of art? What is the most difficult part of your profession?

— Every ballet artist’s path is different. Some truly choose a road of renunciation or sacrifice for the art, and there are many examples of this in the history of world ballet. Personally, I lean toward the idea that balance is necessary in everything. There are powerful stereotypes surrounding ballet. Yes, it is a profession that’s challenging both physically and mentally, but it’s balanced by the beauty of the performances, the applause, and the audience’s appreciation. Of course, we are all human, and there are times when you feel like giving up, but it’s crucial to show character and perseverance, not letting go of the faith and love you have for your art.

— What would you advise to the little dancers just taking their first steps on stage? What would you warn them about?

— I would advise them always to remain true to themselves. Listen to your own inner voice. Show your personality, your character, your individuality. And of course, never give up, even when it feels very hard.

— How often do you visit your hometown, and do you have favorite spots in Ufa?

— Unfortunately, I don’t get to come back as often as I’d like. I used to visit both in summer and winter; now it’s difficult to find time even in summer.

My favorite place in Ufa is the area where we used to live: around the Friendship Monument and the embankment of the Belaya River. So when I do come to Ufa, I always try to take a walk in those familiar places.

— What does Sofya Valiullina dream about?

— I want to be an in-demand ballerina. I want to bring people admiration, joy, and pleasant emotions after each performance, so they can forget all their worries for a while and simply immerse themselves in the art of ballet.

[dailyplanetmetropolis]

One Man, One Swing, One Hundred Victims

15th January 2025

Written by Whitney L. Walker

Following the death of General Steven Trevor - a man known for advocating for peace as well as being a close friend of none other than Wonder Woman - the entirety of America sat on the edge of their seat. We watched in terror, waiting for the cataclysmic moment when Wonder Woman would show up on our screens in armour and take her revenge.

Only to all give a sigh of relief when she disappeared from our country all together. Well, almost all of us.

For years, I have followed the Wonder Girls and Wonder Woman with the utmost care, documenting the many different holders of these handles, the battles they fight, the rogues they save. When I was watching the news of Trevor’s death and waiting for her to storm the White House, to scream at the loss of a love she’s known since first leaving the Amazon polis of Themyscira, I did not know solace when she was nowhere to be seen.

The consequences of the West Billings Massacre in September 2023 - where 19 men were ruthlessly murdered by a blonde Amazon in Kanigher's Cues pool hall - are still affecting us today. Not only is the US government still undertaking in the mass deportation of Amazons across America, but they are murdering them, attacking American-born women who happen to be muscular and tall, and spouting sexist, patriarchal idiosyncrasies that Shaun down the hall licks up like it’s a sweet caramel. Our country is turning to ruin before our eyes, becoming a nation where a woman who does no wrong will always be beaten by her opponent as long as he is a man.

In November last year, everything truly fell apart when multiple associates of Wonder Woman and the Amazons began their attacks. Cassandra Sandsmark purposefully crashes her jet into a US Navy battleship; Yara Flor robs multiple banks across multiple states, fighting through swarms of police; and Donna Troy is spotted in Oklahoma with a bloodied Washington Diamond. The Wonder Girls attack “The American Way”.

The third Wonder Girl, Yara Flor, pictured leaving the Metropolis City Bank, 2025 (credit: James Olsen)

Just over a month later and we still don’t know the cause of these attacks, but it should be clear to anyone. Genocide, bigotry, mass deportation - these things stain a country and the Amazons are just merely trying to wash it out.

Late December, however, we may have finally found out why. Clark Kent-Lane, an esteemed writer as well as my dear colleague, wrote an expose on a man calling himself “The Sovereign”. This man, who has been identified by officials as Henry Charles, believes himself to be the secret king of America. Mr Charles also appears to have a history of murder, tax fraud, identity fraud, as well as sexism.

“According to Princess Claire,” Daily Planet photographer Jimmy Olsen said, retelling the story from Mr Charles’ sister, “The former King of America was unimpressed with his only son. His Royal Majesty broke hundreds of years of tradition and insisted that his daughter be elevated over his son. Mr Sovereign did not process this well. He ranted and raved that the ‘holy order’ of things had been overturned, that his birthright had been wrongly stolen by the lie that a woman could ever supersede a man. And then his daddy turned up dead.”

Although men around the country will continue to spout sexist fabrications to slander the Amazons’ name, and although I’m certain there will be men in my emails yelling at me to take my article down and to stop spreading such mendacity (if they can even spell that), I digress.

“The Sovereign” is one thing, femicide is another.

It isn’t too far to name “The Sovereign” as the leading cause for Amazonian-based bigotry, as well as the rise of sexism in the United States. Why wouldn’t the Wonder Girls hit back? And, more importantly, why aren’t we?

Subscribe to the Daily Planet Tumblr page for more stories like these!

[elminx]

Energy Update: January 2024

January is a "9" month [1 (January) + 8 (2+0+2+4=8) = 9] in an "8" year. Though we are on the edge of something new - both represented by some of the astrological transits of the month and the beginning of a new year - we still have some stuff to wrap up before we can truly move onwards. A lot has changed since the beginning of 2020 - everything really, if you want to look at it that way. As our lives slowly bend and adapt to the changes that have been wrought in the world, we still have to live in it.

Numerologically, 9 is our last number as each multi-digit number gets added back together again. In this way we know that February is a 10/1 month: 2 (February) + 8 (2023) = 10 = 1+0 = 1. February is not the beginning, but February is a beginning. Now we just need to get there.

The Details

We begin January with the Sun and Pluto in Capricorn, retrograde Mercury and Mars in Sagittarius, Venus in Scorpio, Jupiter and retrograde Uranus in Taurus, and Saturn and Neptune in Pisces. This is an unusual alignment of planets and worth noting here. We know that the Sun, Mercury, and Venus travel together but right now they are being joined by both Mars and Pluto as they cross over Sagittarius and Capricorn this season. Additionally, our other planets are congregated together as well in Taurus and Pisces. It's also worth noting that all of this (/crazyhandwaving) began four years ago when all of our planets except for Uranus and Neptune were in the sign of Capricorn.

This month the last of our planets from this 2020 transit, Pluto, finally leaves Capricorn for good. This is one of the big gong crashes that denotes time. Pluto will remain in Aquarius until 2043.

Additionally, our Sun enters the sign of Aquarius, and Mercury, Venus, and Mars will enter the sign of Capricorn. January also marks the end of retrograde season for the next four months as Mercury and Uranus station direct.

The Nitty Gritty

January begins with a bang as Jupiter stations direct on 12/31/23 and Mercury stations direct on 1/1/24. This is a great omen for both January and 2024 as a whole as the first day of the month/year will set the stage for the energy of the time ahead. All signs point to "go" as we only have one single planet left in retrograde (Uranus). Uranus also stations direct this month (on 1/27); we will not experience another planetary retrograde until April.

That said, many of us are still carrying some of the weight of our pasts and it may be hindering our progress. As mentioned above, January is a "9" month of endings that will lead to February being a "10/1" month of beginnings. In this way, January can be seen as a series of releases that can help to unburden us of the things that we do not need to bring with us into the future we see ahead. This process may be triggering for some, especially those who are lost in the past or unduly holding onto something that has passed its expiration date.

The big release dates to watch out for include: 1/1 when Mercury stations direction, 1/4 when Mars enters Capricorn, 1/11 our new moon in Capricorn, 1/13 when Mercury enters Capricorn, 1/20 when BOTH the Sun and Uranus enter Aquarius, 1/23 when Venus enters Capricorn, and 1/27 when Uranus stations direct.

Any of the above dates can be used magically to speed this change along if you are so inclined. Each of these days may be a relief or triggering depending on your life circumstances and general personality. Stay prepared and aware.

There are also a few days of the month where life may seem to "help" you along on this release process, whether you wish it to or not. As our personal planets move through the sign of Capricorn, each will make a cardinal t-square with our lunar nodes of fate (in Aries and Capricorn). Each of these transits will carry with it some of the energy of eclipse season. Some doors may open during this time and some will inevitably close. When the lunar nodes are involved we sometimes find that it is too late to make certain choices, but also that new and interesting choices have become available to us. Our Sun will form a t-square with the nodes on 1/10, Mercury will on 1/28, and Mars will on 1/30. In February, Venus will form one final t-square to complete this process.

For transits like these there is one simple piece of advice: don't hold on too tightly. With our North Node in Aries, we are being asked to stand up for ourselves and that often means letting go of prior conditioning from our childhood or society that keeps us small and forces us into conformity. This can trigger a lot of deep-seated defenses and unhealthy coping mechanisms from our past. The big flex is to name it and bring it into the light rather than letting these things control or destroy us. If you have Aries or Libra in the 12th house this may be especially difficult for you, but this makes this work especially important.

Chiron, also sitting in Aries, shows us that being our unique selves can be quite a painful process. Each of our personal planets will also square off with the Wounded Healer during this time and each of these dates (Sun square Chiron on 1/6, Mars square Chiron on 1/25, and Mercury square Chiron on 1/28 plus Venus in February) is another chance to reexamine our core wounding surrounding standing out versus fitting in. This shit leads deep back into our childhoods and often is the center of our deepest fears. If you are into shadow work, these topics will likely prove especially fruitful during these times. A word to the wise about Chiron: the way out of the pain is always through examining it and learning to understand and create adaptive strategies for management and mitigation. Many people who have Chiron highlighted in their natal birth chart find that healing "out loud" helps them to deal with and make sense of more ouchy moments like these.

In this way, the month may feel very cyclical. You see a way forward and grab for it. It's painful beyond what was expected as it sparks deep wounds. From there the work is to transcend and release the wounds. Rinse and repeat.

It's certainly not work for the faint of heart. But that's not a surprise, we're in Capricorn season - a sign known for almost being compelled to work. This isn't the summer work of planting seeds, tending, and bringing them to harvest. This is the winter work of reexamination and reclamation. Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, is sitting in a supportive sextile in Pisces to help us along in this process but it WILL be work. The big flex all month is to keep moving, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and to keep on keepin' on. With some many chances, you CAN get it right.

Our two lunar events for the month are a new moon at 20° Capricorn on 1/11 and a full moon at 05° Leo on 1/25.

The new moon will be more supercharged as 1/11 is 111 reflecting an influx of 1/new beginnings energy which will also be in close square to our lunar nodes. If you do not set intentions for the year on 1/1, 1/11 will be another strong time to do so. The new moon's numerology is 2/2 [2 (10 Capricorn Sun + 10 Capricorn Moon = 2), and 2 (2 Capricorn new moon + 9 January = 11 = 2] which shows that it is a powerful day for creation and togetherness.

Our full moon in Leo carries the energy of 7/7 [7 (11 Aquarius Sun + 5 Leo Moon = 16 = 7) and 7 (7 Aquarius full moon + 9 January = 16 = 7]. 7 is the number of spirituality and is generally associated with intuition and inner understandings of all kinds. This is a great day to divine on your journey through January and will aid in any magic designed to align you with where your path is leading you.

If you're looking for a day to do money magic or other prosperity work in January, Friday 1/12 is your day when Mars in Capricorn is in exact trine with Jupiter in Taurus. Work that earth money magic - Capricorn is seeing to their future and Taurus loves the finer things in life. This is a big luxury day - this is a day to treat yo' self even if you're not doing any magic. But do that money magic if you've got it - earthy trines like this don't come around every day.

I see two days to watch out for during the month.

On Saturday, 1/20, the Sun meets up in its yearly conjunction with our planet of death and transformation, Pluto and they both enter the sign of Aquarius in lockstep with one another. This is a big change of the guard and it's likely to be reflected both in the outer world at large and in our personal lives. Pluto has been in the sign of Capricorn for more than a decade and its force has been slowly eroding our outdated systems of government and bureaucracy. Now, it shifts its gaze to Aquarius where it will remain until 2043.

Pluto moves on a glacial scale so we shouldn't expect to see the effects of its ingress initially but what we should expect to see is the fallout of what has been left behind. Given the planet and its namesake, I use the term fallout very intentionally here. Capricorn rules the governing systems of our lives; in truth, it rules all things that are contractual like government bodies, businesses, and even marriage. Anything that requires signing a contract is in some way controlled by Saturn and Capricorn as Saturn's emissary in this world. Pluto has been shaking up these systems for quite some time and not all of them will survive the release that comes as our dwarf planet finally exits the scene.

Sometimes you don't know how bad the disaster is until it's over and the dust has settled. I would expect to see governmental shutdowns, businesses failing or entering bankruptcy, and the dissolution of marriages as the energy slowly begins to shift away from Capricorn and into Aquarius. In this sense, any structures that are held on by a thread will be most at risk through the beginning of the year. If this is you and it impacts your life specifically, I will guide you back to the words above: Don't Hold on too tight.

Sometimes things need to fall apart. Sometimes you can't pick up the pieces.

The second day of interest is 1/29 when Mars in Capricorn meets up in trine with Uranus in Taurus. I have found that it is best to keep an eye on when these two planets meet, regardless of the aspect that they make with one another. Mars is our planet of action and war and Uranus rules the unexpected disaster. This is Tower weather; it is best to do less and avoid any overt dangers if you can. It's a day to stay away from explosives of all kinds. Uranus in Taurus is especially eruption-prone, make of that what you will. We are nearing the end of Uranus's transit of Taurus (something that we should be very grateful for) but it's not over until it's over.

January is the cosmic right time to put in the work to better your life. January is the cosmic right time to take accountability for where you are the problem. January is the cosmic right time to let that shit go so that when February rolls around, you are ready.

The Details

1/1 - Mercury stations direct 22° Sagittarius, Venus in Sagittarius square Saturn in Pisces (repeats on 10/28) 1/4 - Mars enters Capricorn 1/6 - Sun in Capricorn square Chiron in Aries 1/8 - Mercury in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces* 1/9 - Sun in Capricorn trine retrograde Uranus in Taurus, Mars in Capricorn sextile Saturn in Pisces 1/10 - Sun in Capricorn square North Node in Aries and South Node in Libra, cardinal t-square 1/11 - New moon 20° Capricorn 2/2, Venus in Sagittarius trine Chiron in Aries (repeats on 11/3) 1/12 - Mars in Capricorn trine Jupiter in Taurus 1/13 - Mercury enters Capricorn 1/15 - Sun in Capricorn sextile Neptune in Pisces, Venus in Sagittarius trine North Node in Aries/sextile South Node in Libra 1/18 - Mercury in Capricorn sextile Saturn in Pisces 1/19 - Mercury in Capricorn trine Jupiter in Taurus, Venus in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces 1/20 - Sun enters Aquarius, Pluto enters Aquarius, Sun conjunct Pluto, Mercury exits their post-retrograde shadow 08° Capricorn 1/23 - Venus enters Capricorn 1/25 - Full moon 05° Leo 7/7, Mars in Capricorn square Chiron in Aries 1/26 - Mercury in Capricorn square Chiron in Aries 1/27 - Uranus stations direct 19° Taurus, Sun in Aquarius square Jupiter in Taurus, Mercury conjunct Mars 17° Capricorn 1/28 - Mercury in Capricorn trine Uranus in Taurus, Mercury in Capricorn square North Node in Aries and South Node in Libra (cardinal t-square), Venus in Capricorn trine Jupiter in Taurus, Venus in Capricorn sextile Saturn in Pisces 1/29 - Mars in Capricorn trine Uranus in Taurus 1/30 - Mars in Capricorn square North Node in Aries and South Node in Libra (cardinal t-square)

Do you like my work? You can support me over on Kofi.

[ranchthoughts]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

Tagged by @lurkingshan (here) and @wen-kexing-apologist (here). Thanks for the tags!

In 2023, I made 175 original posts, including 45 metas about 12 different shows and two large scale projects (the GMMTV Multiverse and the GMMTV Kissing charts). It was interesting to see what meta (and how much) I had written in which months. It's also fun looking back as I approach my one year anniversary of watching and writing about BL - I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people I've met and gotten to chat with over these past months!

January and February [0 metas]

I wasn’t on BL Tumblr yet! Any and all meta came in the form of thoughts, texts, and powerpoint presentations.

March [6 metas]

My BL Tumblr debut! I started this blog with the intention of 1) more easily gathering and archiving posts for future reference, and 2) collecting my thoughts somewhere other than text threads and my notes app, so I began posting meta the day I got here.

Most popular: what started as me thinking about Win’s rock t-shirt from ep 11 and then grew from there… - reading a lot into a random Thai ql shirt choice? Me?

Favourite(s): Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and coming out (part 1, part 2); Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and music - My first meta ever posted! I keep returning to Tinn and his mother's relationship in My School President...

April [1 meta]

By default, the most popular (and favourite): Gun's feelings are realistic - I love when MSP subverts our expectations

May [13 metas]

Oh damn! This was a big meta month for me. Some of my favourite metas I've ever written were posted this month.

Most popular: The Eighth Sense and Missing Pieces - I am really proud of this one. It also made me laugh that I apologized for the length at the beginning when I would go on to post much, MUCH longer metas.

Favourite(s): Thoughts on genre, tropes, Bad Buddy, and My School President (aka my Bad Buddy and MSP thesis, which began life as a powerpoint presentation... now here's one of those much, MUCH longer metas in question); Wai as a faen fatale (which also began life as part of that same powerpoint presentation and I think perfectly encapsulates my analytical style); Conversations in ITSAY that are about more than they seem (I am really proud of the analysis I did here and the writing style I used to present it). This was also the month in which I started my deeply self-indulgent GMMTV Multiverse project, which later inspired my mission to record all GMMTV kisses.

June [11 metas]

Oh nooo another bunch of my favourites. This is cruel to make me choose.

Most popular: Thinking about Pran's "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me" (I love this one! and this was the first of several times I've gotten to collaborate with the wonderful @dudeyuri)

Favourite(s): An analysis of the baseball mom shirt, Bad Buddy ep. 5 (my entry into the venerable field of Bad Buddy/ql shirt analysis and also encapsulates pretty much everything I try to do in my metas); An impassioned defense of the Bad Buddy ep. 5 rooftop kiss (combines many of my favourite things: reading deeply into the minute details of Bad Buddy, an analytical framework that just clicks itself together as I write, and literature reviews); and Thinking about Snow White as the engineering play, part 1 (shout out to the two other people going ham on Snow White as an allegory during the Our Skyy 2 madness - @chickenstrangers (here) and @letgomaggie (here))

July [3 metas]

Most popular (and favourite): Thinking about Pat, Pran, and pursuit (I think this was my first time articulating the idea of Pat and Pran's commitment to the bit, a concept which continues to circle in my head. This was also another collaboration with the wonderful @dudeyuri!)

August [7 metas]

Here comes Only Friends... and the GMMTV Kissing Multiverse project.

Most popular: GMMTV Kissing Multiverse updates 1, 2 and 3 (this is so much fun to track and analyze, and I've been really touched by everyone else's excitement for the project too); Various thoughts and musings on Only Friends and ephemerality (the Ephemerality Squad assembles!)

Favourite: Thinking about Boston: a study of episode 3 - I find Boston's mind a fascinating place to explore

September [8 metas]

Oh look! It's more Only Friends!

Most popular: Mansplain, Manipulate, Manwhore: Ray confronting Boston - once again, I love getting into Boston's head. This post was inspired by @wen-kexing-apologist's scene breakdowns, especially their Fight Night one

Favourite(s): The above, and also The Mundanity of Meanness

October [5 metas]

Most popular (and favourite): The first fist bump in Bad Buddy - oof. I've gotta come back to this idea sometime.

November [3 metas]

Most popular: The Latest Update to the Kissing Multiverse - the hotly anticipated post-Only Friends update to the kissing charts

Favourite: the kissing charts, and Thinking about Pat, Pran, and competition - again, I love to think about Pat and Pran. I consider this one to be part of an ongoing series, along with my earlier metas on pursuit and the rooftop.

December [1 meta]

Most popular (and favourite): Not Me and earrings - technically an addition on @chickenstrangers' post, but was a relief to get my months old "Not Me is about ears and earrings!" thoughts out.

some no pressure tags: @chickenstrangers, @distant-screaming, @dudeyuri, @neuroticbookworm, @slayerkitty, @telomeke, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this article from The New Yorker, written by Bill McKibben:

Living through the onset of rapid global warming involves learning to roll with the punches. Increasingly, those are quite real and painful—this year saw, again, an accelerating toll of flood and drought. But, even for climate scientists sequestered in the lab, life increasingly seems like a series of bewildering blows.

As 2024 began, we’d just finished the most remarkable year in the planet’s modern climate history—2023 had shattered every global record for temperature, with researchers firm in the conviction that our planet had seen its hottest average temperatures in at least a hundred and twenty-five thousand years. But, even as they watched the mercury soar, they weren’t completely sure why: temperatures seemed to be rising even before an El Niño warming in the Pacific fully kicked in. In a remarkably candid essay this March in Nature, NASA’s chief climatologist, Gavin Schmidt, said, “The 2023 temperature anomaly has come out of the blue, revealing an unprecedented knowledge gap perhaps for the first time since about 40 years ago, when satellite data began offering modellers an unparalleled, real-time view of Earth’s climate system.” If temperatures hadn’t settled back to something more like a consistent rise by late summer 2024, he noted, that would imply “that a warming planet is already fundamentally altering how the climate system operates, much sooner than scientists had anticipated.”

In the event, this August was the warmest August on record, and most of the other months of 2024 also broke records; it now seems certain that, when meteorological officials announce their results early in January, this will again have been the hottest year ever measured. Scientists still can’t explain what’s causing the spike, which sits atop the steady ramp in temperature over the past few decades. As Schmidt said in an October interview with Elizabeth Kolbert, “it’s still pretty much, I would say, amateur hour in terms of assessing” what’s going on. The proffered explanations—the eruption of a submarine volcano in the South Pacific that put a lot of heat-trapping water vapor into the air, the phase-out of high-sulfur fuels in oceangoing ships that reduced heat-reflecting pollution—don’t seem large enough to account for what the thermometers are measuring; it’s possible that we may have tripped some switches we don’t understand in the global climate system.

What we do understand is bad enough. In September, Hurricane Helene swept across the Gulf of Mexico, turning from a tropical storm into a Category 4 hurricane in barely more than a day—the kind of “rapid intensification” that researchers increasingly see as a hallmark of a warming ocean. It moved so fast that it carried the freight of rain that it picked up over the record-hot waters of the Gulf far inland; in the mountains just north of Asheville, radar estimates suggested rainfall totals of up to forty inches. That water inundated the cricks and hollows of southern Appalachia—the death toll from the storm sits at two hundred and forty-one (making it the deadliest to hit the U.S. since Maria devastated Puerto Rico, in 2017), and the economic damage is nearing a hundred billion dollars, making it one of the costliest storms since Katrina. But the pictures from a ravaged North Carolina looked an awful lot like pictures from devastated parts of southern Europe or northern Africa or Brazil or Southeast Asia—if you look on YouTube, you can find a near-daily flood of flood pictures, with floating cars careening down the streets of mountain towns.

There seems to be just one way left to even start to slow down that torrent, and that’s to rapidly replace coal, gas, and oil with sun, wind, and batteries—and if you’re trying to avoid existential despair, there are stories and numbers this year worth focussing on. Solar power expanded so rapidly in 2023 (eighty-six per cent up on 2022 worldwide) that some wondered whether the charge could continue this year; it did, with the best guess being we will see a further growth of nearly thirty per cent this year. We’ve clearly moved into the steep part of the S-curve of clean-energy expansion, where even the most optimistic forecasts are consistently surpassed, and at the moment we appear to be installing a gigawatt’s worth of photovoltaic panels (roughly the size of a nuclear power plant) every eighteen hours or so.

[matthiastalksalot]

what is being aromantic? what is being asexual?

an anecdotal explanation about what being aroace means to me. part 2. technically. both can be standalone. but you should read part one because i enjoy being a chatterbox.

this is not proofread.

so. i finally figure out that i am asexual. yipeee! once the sex aspect is out of the way, i can finally persue relationships without any expectations of sex, right? wrong.

i have a long and not too complicated dating history, featuring many e-relationships and two week infatuations.

going back to the early days of fifth grade. i attended a catholic school, and everyone was starting to reach the age where crushes are a new and fascinating occurrence. of course, i don’t know how many ten year olds had true crushes, but they CERTAINLY said they did.

and so, naturally, i needed one too. i picked a boy in my class, joesph, and told my classmates when i was asked. i did not know him well, and he knew i had this “crush” on him, but he didn’t like me and i never actually asked him out, so that was that.

i got my first boyfriend the summer before 7th grade. we attended a jewish sleep away camp, and were part of the same group for leading our unit’s shabbat service. we had the same hairstyle, the only difference being that the top of his hair was dyed red, the top of mine was dyed blue.

this was a preppy camp. we stood out, and thus our relationship was born. a girl approached me and asked if i would date “brendan”. i did not know who brendan was, we met two days before. she described him as “the boy with the red hair”.

it was middle school, and so i said yes. a day later, he asked me out. we dated for that summer until the next one.

the relationship was incredibly 7th grade of us. we hugged, had a pre-planned “kiss” under the fireworks on the last night of the camp session. it was gross, but short. i could now say i had had my first kiss.

he broke up with me due to bullying the next summer, but then after two days of drama, we started dating again. we broke up for good around december or january of 8th grade, over text. he wasn’t going to camp next summer, so we would not see each other again without planning it.

during our first break-up, i was upset, but mostly because i was insulted by the reason behind it. i did not have any strong feeling about break up #2.

i had more relationships between the end of 8th grade and my senior year of high school, but that would be the fastest way to send you all to sleep.

and so. i take you to my two most recent relationships. May 2022 - August 2022, and April 2023 - May 2023

the first one was a girl from a community theater show i was doing. she was snow white, and i was her prince. we became fast friends, and ended up dating. we were together for months, talked daily. we hugged, and sat in bed, holding each other while watching movies. we did not kiss. we did not even attempt to initiate anything more than hand holding.

she broke up with me in august. i was upset at the prospect of us not being together, but the only thing i remember thinking was “there is nothing we did that we cannot do as friends”. of course, it is difficult to rebound from dating, especially long distance as we were. we ended on good terms, but no longer speak to each other.

after her was my ex from the last post. we began dating after months of infatuation. he broke up with a girl for me, i magically made the “crush” that i thought i had on my best friend vanish the second i realized that he may actually show any form of interest in me.

eventually, that too ended. i enjoyed the hugging, cuddling, and closeness. i hated kissing, and the expectations of what i was supposed to be feeling within the relationship.

i did not immediately begin identifying as aromatic, but this is when i first began to entertain the idea.

life went on.

i started college, and met many amazing friends. as is usual for first semester freshman year, people began to get in relationships, and the whole question of “should i try for one?” comes up.

i decided against it, as none of my friends were romantic candidates for me. i know, i know. it’s weird to think of people that way. however, that’s how almost every other relationship i’ve had started.

we became fast friends, and happened to have compatible genders/sexualities to date. and so we did.

it started to dawn on me: what was the difference between my romantic partners and my close friends? the two largest factors are the duration of time we were close, and the amount of physical contact we had with each other.

in my prior romantic relationships, we became close quickly, or became much closer as we started to enter the “talking stage”. the longest i’ve known someone before getting into a relationship with them was a year and a half, and we were much more distant and did not hang out too often before the dating part.

as for physical intimacy: we started hugging/holding hands/being comfortable with each other before dating, but used it as a sign that we should start a relationship?

i suppose that is where i stand right now.

i am unsure of what the difference in my current best friends are, and what my relationships used to be. i am very physically affectionate, and i enjoy it. i also became close to people fast, thanks to meeting them at college. the biggest change? my two best friends are a lesbian and an arospec who is also out of my age range, dating wise.

there is no room for romantic interpretation.

once none of my friends could be potential partners, it felt like a relief. i don’t have to figure out if they like me or not, and if i “like” them back. we can just be friends.

i don’t want people to have crushes on me. all of mine were deliberately chosen, and that is not the way i feel “romance” should be.

looking back, i have lost many good friendships to the pitfall that is dating. and why? i never have found anything more fulfilling than my close platonic friendships. romantic relationships were always just adding a degree of exclusivity i never could live up to, since i cared for my closest friend and partners in the exact same way.

what is romance? i truly do not know.

however, i do know some things:

i love my friends

i enjoy spending time with my friends

i do not need exclusivity to be valued

not attempting to date has led to my platonic relationships being more fulfilling and wonderful than they were when i constantly had to compare them with what the “line” between romance and friendship was.

of course, i don’t speak for everyone. you may relate to my experience, and be alloromantic. you may understand me, but think this is some sort of polyamorous “i’m in love will all my friends but am in denial because i know they won’t like me back.”

it doesn’t matter, because i know who i am. despite having a dating history, i identify with the label that allows me to describe myself as clearly as possible.

this post is getting long, i’m sure i’ll be back shortly!

all the best,

mattisaroace

[wromwood]

I've gotten back into watching The Owl House for the first time (I watched the first 14 episodes some months ago, but then got sidetracked for a while). I'm making great progress because the show's super good, and I've just finished Season 2 Episode 8.

My knowledge of the show is both extensive and very spotty; I've been spoiled for major plot points through fanart, fanfic, and AU comics, and I know that people say it was cancelled too soon and its last season went by too fast. However, I don't know the connecting threads between the plot points, and I never looked into people's commentaries on how the show was handled because, well, I hadn't watched it yet.

Today, I wondered how much of the show I have left to look forward to and glanced at the Wikipedia page for The Owl House. This is how I got hit with two surprising pieces of information (it's only surprising for me personally, so I'll put it under a read-more).

The third season of The Owl House technically only has three episodes.

I knew that the series ended earlier than anyone anticipated with three long-ish specials, but I guess I didn't hear the information properly. I just assumed that the specials came at the end of a third season that was much shorter than the other two, but that was still, like, a season. But now... oh wow, some of the comments I remember hearing make a lot more sense now. And the specials are 44 minutes each. Even if we consider it in terms of how long the episodes usually are, that's still only about six episodes worth of runtime. I can't imagine what it must've felt like to have been an active Owl House fan when the show was first airing. And speaking of which...

2. The Owl House didn't start or end all that long ago.

This is more a result of how I perceive time thanks to how events have played out for me in the fast five years. Let's break this down:

I remembered hearing about this exciting new show called The Owl House when I was attending undergrad and living on-campus. I graduated in May 2020, which means that school year's memories have been overshadowed by COVID. Partway through March 2020's spring break, when I was back home, the lockdowns began, ending my time living on-campus earlier than expected. Since I remembered hearing about the show while I was still living in dorm housing, this made me think the show started in 2019, and it'd had more time to gain a fanbase by the time I heard about it. But no, it first started airing in January 2020. There were only 9, maybe 10, episodes out before lockdowns were implemented in March. I'm impressed at how quickly this show got popular among my peer group.

The 2022-2023 school year (a 1-year masters program) was... emotionally complicated for me. Something happened during that year that has permanently made me think of events that occurred during that time frame as either "before" or "after" a 3-month period (October 2022-January 2023). The school year itself, of course, was its own exciting and life-impacting time as learned, worked, and grew in Edinburgh, so I still regard it as relatively "recent." I don't know why, but I was convinced that The Owl House ended "before" the 3-month event. I could've sworn that all of the discussions about the finale occurred safely before that cut-off point, and that I would have already been late to the party if I started watching while in Scotland. But no. The first of season 3's specials (according to Wikipedia) was released on October 15, 2022, three days after the start of the 3-month event. The second special was released on January 21, 2023, the very last day of the event. The third special was released on April 8, 2023, while I was still reeling from the event and still in Scotland. I know this timeline won't mean much to other people. But to my perception of time, of what's "recent" and relevant to major events, this has dramatically shifted my understanding of the lifetime of this show. I deeply regret not getting onboard earlier.

[christinescupofcoffee]

The “Blackjack” era (also called the “Ace of Spades” era, the epic era, the fantastic era, the “Artist in the Orange Apocalypse” era, the “Victorialand” era, and the “Moon Shadow” era)

stories which I started either sometime in the first half of the 2020s and led me into the second Trump era or here in 2025.

Sadly, I am having to keep them all offline because, among other things, I’m terrified about the future of self-expression, as an American and a woman: the whole world hates us now (I wish I knew why he got re-elected; I really do) and our own country wants to kill us and/or imprison us. There’s also the fact that I have fading trust in ao3–genuinely unsure how anyone can do anything over there now as it’s like every time I turn around, it’s either slow or going down for some reason.

My stories also feel too niche, too “for myself and two other people”, and I don’t get along with fandom, either—I never really have, anyway, but the disconnect is more pronounced as I get older. I feel like I’m too mature, too strange, too dry and twisted in terms of humor. I kind of have no choice but to go underground.

I chose “blackjack” and “ace of spades” because there are 21–ahem—22 stories listed here. The day I feel comfortable to share them in their full form, you bet it’ll be a gamble. “Victorialand” is something carried over from last year, where a general theme throughout the year was one of wanting to be alone with my thoughts (it’s traumatic watching someone you love slip into ill health, feeling like you’re going to lose your house, and feeling like no one wants to talk to you either): Victorialand is the region of Antarctica overlooking the Ross Sea and the Southern Pacific Ocean, and the one region of the continent that’s actually somewhat green (it’s also the name of my favorite Cocteau Twins record). “Moon Shadow” is after a restaurant down in Malibu, one of the many places that burned down in the Palisades Fire: my parents went there when they were dating; I chose that name because I feel like I’m hiding, hiding my love and my crushes, here in the shadows cast down by the moonlight.

The Dead of Night: Anthrax and Rush fanfic started in January 2021 as a spin-off of my “dead” trilogy as well as my “up all night” trilogy, and then put it on hiatus to work on fever in fever out. The search to find Francine will resume once I have it on my thumb drive.

Eerie Inhabitants series: began life as actually two original stories in October 2018, called “Night Owls” and also “Dead Pets”. I brought it back as a vampire!Testament fanfic in August 2021. Went on hiatus in late 2022, and then again in late 2023, and I’ve been thinking about it A LOT lately.

Xenon Dreams: sci-fi Sedoretu Testament fic started in October 2021, went on hiatus sometime in 2022 and came back briefly on New Year’s Day 2023. Homie, I wrote this in October 2021 and I got chills reading that prologue, with the arranged marriages and the fact the country has collapsed.

Love is Not Enough: erotic Alex fic started in April 2022 where he asks himself “why can’t I scratch my itch?” and meets two hookers who love every inch of him.

Like Blood from a Stone: erotic Bay Area thrash royal!soulmate! AU started in August 2022, went on hiatus in February 2024 when my mom got sick, and came back in December 2024. Also involves arranged marriages but also the trope of royalty, but no one wants it, though.

Blood and Chocolate: erotic Eric and Alex fic started in November 2022 surrounding my biggest kink and the one that makes me feel my rawest and at my most exposed.

The Apple Shed: holiday mock Hallmark fic started in January 2023 immediately after dead man walking ended, went on hiatus that March, and I’m thinking I’ll bring it back as an original story.

As the Seasons Grey: teacher!Alex fic. First book came in February 2023 and was completed in September; second book started on Halloween, went on hiatus with Blood from a Stone and came back in October 2024, and I lowkey wanna make this a four book series. I feel this to be my magnum opus next to now it’s dark: idk, I just have such an emotional attachment to this one.

Time is Coming: a more Fantasy-driven sequel to now it’s dark involving Testament and Death Angel as well as Joey and Lars. Began sometime in January 2024 and I’m hoping to push it along again because I thought for sure 2024 was going to be the year of this.

The Skeleton Key: erotic Alex fic started on January 20, 2024 and was slow to update all year due to my own personal problems as well as my work on Kinktober. Brought it back in time for the holiday season. Notable for involving Metal Allegiance as well as the Stu Hamm band and PAKT so I actually have hell of a time trying to tag this one as it progresses.

The Confectioner’s Tale: slice of life fic with Alex, Peter Steele, and Ben Shepherd started on April Fools Day 2024. The baker telling the story, Hannah, has a bit of a… reputation.

Throughout the Dark Months of April and May: murder-mystery Top Gear fic started in late April 2024. In my last update, I had just introduced Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon to the storyline as Gabby is after men who look like her dead fiancé (as Richard soon found out).

Quarter After Twelve: Science Fiction “Rashomon” Style started in September 2024. Notable for being my first original work in 6 years!

Midnight Oil: erotic fic with Alex and Christian from Powerwolf started in October 2024. Originally started out as a Hanukkah story but I decided to make Hanukkah the centerpiece instead.

Blood for Cream: vampire! grunge scene fic that began life as an idea I had since 2012 and finally gave it life in October. I never explicitly say it but it takes place in the same universe as Eerie Inhabitants.

First Strike is Deadly/The Scorpion Ladies: began life as drawings of girls with braids in the shape of scorpion tails from summer 2018, and I finally gave them life in October 2024.

The Last Remaining Light: slice of life Alex fic started Thanksgiving 2024. “Slice of life with a tragically romantic flavor” as I describe it.

House of Ill Repute: original Coming of Age story started Thanksgiving 2024. Another idea I had in my repertoire since 2012 as well: your skeletons in your closet need to come out at some point or another.

All That Glitters is Not Gold: adventurous Night at the Museum fic started the day after Thanksgiving 2024. Jed is drunk and obsessed and Octavius has blood in his eyes and a cobra in hand.

After the Gold Rush: a Fix-It Around the World in 80 Days (2004) fic started 4 days before Trump’s inauguration (pray for me). I really only wrote this one because I think Steve Coogan is cute.

Tree of Ténéré: a very dark original story started a couple of weeks ago, after experiencing a bad dream she had about a man murdering his daughter and then burying her out in the Sahara.

Meet me on the Mesa: Science Fiction Romance fic involving the team from Skinwalker Ranch (of all things) started just a few nights ago when my mom and I started rewatching it again. The idea just crossed my mind and a folder on my thumb drive next to Midnight Oil and my merfolk drawings, and I think I’ll keep it that way.

[viaviv124]

So on the 12th me and my partner @kaihoney had our first year anniversary and i wanted to share our story on how we met and got together here because it's to this day still really funny and a huge coincidence.

It's the middle of November 2023 at like midnight and I randomly remembered a really cool but niche game i watched a lets play for a while back and i wanted to check out if tumblr had a fandom for it. Turns out at the time the fandom was basically completely dead and non-existent, the only semi-frequent posts being some sort of story a user wrote that had nothing to do with the game. There i saw a post that was made like 2 months ago that basically asked if anyone was even still interested in that game or the fandom and that they'd like to chat to someone. So i excitedly texted them.

Kai and i immediately got along amazingly and also quickly learned that by sheer coincidence we're the same age, same sexuality, same country, both autistic, both ace and have very similar interests. So we chatted the night away and soon switched over to talk on Instagram instead. A week or two in we were at a point where we said "haha let's eventually move in as roommates one day because we're so similar" and basically started planning a life together, underlined with the thought "lol we'll never date, it'd never work out". On top of that we also soon exchanged numbers and began texting and frequently calling.

December rolled around and we were hit with a small crisis. Both of us, despite having been in relationships before, aren't really sure how love really feels like (likely due to a very fun mix of autism, being ace and some flavour of aro) and sometimes we'd sort of gaslight ourselves into thinking we're in love simply because we can't differenciate platonic and romantic feelings all that well. We talked openly about it to get on the same page and decided to take it easy.

January those feelings got stronger and we'd talk about the topic more and more frequently, allthough the conversations were always chill and we'd even poke fun at it. At that point we decided to plan our first meet up and judge from then. We'd meet in late feburary/early march. We also made a virtual marriage certificate. You know, for fun. As you do with friends and totally not someone you pine for.

In feburary we'd talk even more often about how we feel and would even ask our friends if they'd take us for a couple. We'd also constantly joke around that if we were a romance novel we'd the most annoying slow burn to ever exist. On the night of the 12th of feburary 2024 we had this talk again, this time even more in depth on how we felt and how right telling the other "i love you" felt for us. We also thought it'd be funny to get together right before valentines day so we decided to make it official that very night with the sentiment "if it doesn't work out then it doesn't but let's at least try".

When we met for their first time too it was the most amazing thing ever.

AND YEAH THATS HOW WE MET AND GOT TOGETHER! :D

I don't regret a single day we spent together and i hope we can keep going like we did so far. Just taking it easy, not take ourselves too seriously and just have fun.

That's also something i want to tell other people. A relationship will fail if you take it too seriously. It needs to breathe. On top of that, your partner is allowed to be your best friend. Some people only want the romance aspects of a relationship and/or want their partner to focus only on them and take it super super seriously and that'll break the relationship in due time. Just have fun together and don't think too hard about what's supposed to be or expected in a relationship. As long as both of you are feeling comfortable and happy you can be whatever you want. Don't let anyone or anything define how you should feel or act. Kai and i are barely romantic at all, we embrace the silly and often crack dumb jokes even in serious situations. That's the right thing for us. And some people might have an easier time too if you also try to take it a little easier. Life and especially relationships are all about fun so embrace that!

[onthewayto28]

A post came across my twitter dashboard recently, referencing Harry's LOT outfit from July 16, 2022 in Vienna, and how it should have meant something but in the end meant nothing.

But did it really mean nothing? I was curious.

When I first relistened to Harry's self-titled for the first time since 2017 (yes, I am one of those people who left in 2015 and recently got pulled back in because of Liam's passing) "Kiwi" became my favorite on the album. And right away, it becomes obvious that this song is absolutely about things that happened during his time in the band - but what events, right?

So I started digging, and came across some really great analysis and theories. Truly, this fandom continues to amaze me every single day. The loud reference to Babygate is easy - Harry basically made that association for us by playing "Kiwi" 3x at the end of the last Live on Tour show on July 14, 2018, on the 3rd Anniversary of The Sun's One Conception exclusive. But the Babygate anniversary was two days earlier, and Harry didn't have a show. And he didn't wear the shirt on the 15th when he did have a show.

So why July 16th?

In coming back to this fandom, I started diving into the Great Big Larry Document of Everything. And I began to look at the date itself - there had to be something tied to this date - not a "close enough" but this actual date. If this outfit meant something we were supposed to watch out for, it was tied to this date.

Eleanor's birthday is July 16th. And in 2022, Elounor 2.0 was still happening. In my searching I discovered that Eleanor spent her birthday that year in Ibiza while Louis, as it turns out, was in Manila for LTWT. On the other side of the world.

But Manila, huh?

I remember Manila.

Manila is the show where, on March 22, 2015 1D performed "I Will Survive" after the Elounor 1.0 BUA dropped. Harry almost screaming the lyrics in happiness, Louis walking around on stage with a huge smile on his face. Oh, that day was a good day.

And in looking back at the dates and events that happened afterwards (because the checkerboard would indicate the end was soon), sure enough, six months later the Elounor 2.0 dropped on January 6, 2023. Almost exactly ten years to the day after the Haylor BUA dropped, in fact, which is one of the funniest coincidences in a fandom full of funny coincidences.

Because here's the thing - I don't think "Kiwi" has ever been about just Babygate. I think it's also about Cakegate (which the music video kinda solidified for me). It's about stunts, and the public's fascination with what women the boys are linked to. And perhaps also about the heterosexual image they maintain by participating in said stunts.

To wrap this all up, I don't think every outfit the boys wear means something - but I absolutely do think this one on July 16, 2022 was on purpose.

[winarasidi]

When I Fell in Love with Cycling

I discovered my love for cycling when I met Dargo. At the time, he was just someone I knew, and I never imagined I would end up marrying him. Getting to know Dargo also meant getting to know cycling, a passion he had pursued regularly for several years before we got married. I began watching European cyclists glide beautifully through green mountains and snowy hills. Naturally, I was captivated and wondered if I could ever do something like that.

After we got married, I decided to share a hobby with Dargo and give cycling a try. I chose it for myself, not because my husband pressured me—Dargo has never forced me into anything.

On December 26, 2023, I bought a Twitter Cyclon Pro Disc R7000-22S bike in black and red. After discussing it with my husband, we decided this would be my first bike. The main factor was its affordability at the time, combined with its full carbon frame and Shimano 105 groupset. Despite one drawback—the bike was still a bit too large for me—it was the best option for us.

In early January 2024, I began my journey as an amateur cyclist. I started getting used to my new bike, beginning with my first 50 kilometers, then 70 kilometers, and eventually my first 100 kilometers. I still vividly remember my first 100 kilometers; I took the route from South Tangerang to Bogor, riding back and forth from home. Anjay rada gelo!

Eight months after buying my road bike, I decided to participate in a race in July 2024. I joined the Tour de Ambarukkmo in Yogyakarta in the regular category, covering 128 kilometers. Of course, with various adjustments to make the bike fit my body. It was an exhilarating experience, especially since I typically only cycled once a week on weekends. But I prepared as best as I could, training enough and learning to understand my body. In the end, I completed the Tour de Ambarukkmo. Though it was exhausting, I was filled with pride—a feeling of abundance.

Cycling, like running, is more than just a sport for me. These activities are my way of connecting with my body and the world around me. When I cycle or run, I focus on feeling my body, muscles, breath, and heartbeat. I learn to recognize pain and fatigue. I become fully aware of my body, knowing when to stop and when I can keep going. When cycling, I often clear my mind. I never listen to music while riding; instead, I prefer to hear the rhythm of my breath, the sounds around me, and the wind rushing against my body as I descend hills or climb slopes.

I can’t recall exactly when I fell in love with cycling, but I’ve come to realize that it has become one of my most meaningful routines. When I miss a ride, something feels off and different. Perhaps, at this point, cycling has become an essential part of who I am.

Tangerang, 23 Agustus 2024