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Still Life 1
Pairing: Alpha Curtis Everett x Omega Female Reader
Word Count: ~2.8k
Summary: Curtis has been volunteering as a foster alpha for three years now. He's never seen a case this bad...
Warnings: Angst (with an eventual happy ending), past abuse (not Curtis), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, physical scarring, extreme sexism, adult themes, explicit language, All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Dividers by me this time!
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
A/N: Well, this is for all of you who thought you'd seen the worst angst I could possibly do. Sorry for how much this one's gonna hurt!
Big thanks to @paperweight91 and @bigtreefest who both read so much of this and helped with structuring and world-building. And huge thanks to everyone who showed so much enthusiasm for this idea. I'm so excited to share this story with you!
Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!
As always, thank you so much for reading! đ
Nzzzz Nzzzz Nzzzz
Nzzzz Nzzzz Nzzzz
It took a moment for Curtis to pull himself out of sleep enough to realize the incessant noise was his phone vibrating loudly on his nightstand. It took another moment for him to pull himself together enough to answer it. âHello?â he croaked.
âMorning, Curtis,â a harried voice came through from the other end. âThis is Yona from the Omega Welfare Center. I'm so sorry to call so early, but we've had kind of a crazy night here and we're in need of several emergency placements.â
That had him waking up. âWhat happened?â he asked, seriously, sitting up in bed.
She sighed, all of her exhaustion coming through. âA traditionalist compound a couple hours away got raided by the feds and ATF. They prepared for some omegas, but⊠There were a lot more. Kids too. Itâs been all hands on deck at all five omega centers in the state. Weâre over capacity, so weâre just trying to place anyone we can immediately.â
âShit,â Curtis mumbled to himself. Traditionalist communities popped up on the news every once in a while, populated mostly by alphas on a power trip. But this one sounded bigger than most. He looked at his clock. It was just past five. âIâve got room for one,â he said. âAnd I can be there in an hour.â
âThank you, Curtis. Iâll see you soon.â
Fifty-five minutes later, Curtis was checking in at the center, his second coffee clutched in one hand. Heâd been volunteering there as a foster Alpha for about three years. Mostly short-term placements. His longest one was just over a month. He provided safe touch, grounding, and a sense of security to omegas who needed to get back on their feet. Heâd help them through heats when necessary, never knotting them, but whatever else they might need. Often, it was just his scent. It made him feel good, to be able to help these omegas, offer a positive alpha experience to omegas who hadnât had many.
Heâd worked with a few different case workers during his time. Yona had been the main one for the past year. Heâd never heard her sound like she had that morning.
Even just at the front desk, he could sense how much more chaotic it was here than usual. He could hear babies screaming beyond the office door, endless anxious chatter. The entire building reeked of omegas in distress. It made his nose itch and his skin crawl.
After a few minutes of waiting, Yona came and got him. âHow bad is it?ïżœïżœïżœ he asked the omega as she hurriedly led him down the hall.Â
She showed him into a small meeting room as she answered, âReally, really bad. Iâve never seen anything like it. None of them are talking, but from what we can gather, most of them have spent their entire lives in the compound. No IDs, no papers. Figuring out who they are has been nearly impossible. And as terrible as it may have been, their whole world was ripped apart in the last twenty-four hours. No one feels like cooperating. We hope you might have better luck as an alpha.â
âYou think they'll talk to me?âÂ
She shakes her head. âJust the Omega we're placing with you. They've all been taught never to trust outsiders, but they've also been raised to see Alphas as the ultimate authority. So, it's worth a shot.â
He nodded, slowly. âWhat do you need?â
âJust basic identifying information for now. So we can see if she even exists in any sort of governmental system. Then we can go from there.â
âIf you donât have any information, what makes you think Iâll be a good fit for her?â
âHonestly,â Yona said, with a helpless shrug, âyou only have room for one and she doesnât have any pups. Thatâs it. Listen, I know this isnât how we normally do things and Iâm so sorry Iâm just throwing you into it without any preparation, but weâre really desperate here. Theyâre all high needs, high risk. Thereâs no existing support network for them, and there are more of them than we have room for. So we called all of our most experienced, most dependable alphas first thing this morning so we can focus on the ones we have room to house here. I know it isnât fair to you butââ
âHey,â Curtis interrupted. âItâs ok, I understand. Iâll take care of her. I promise.â
âThank you,â she breathed out, a small fraction of the tension sheâd been holding bleeding out of her shoulders. âOk, Iâm gonna go bring her in.âÂ
She slipped through the door and Curtis leaned against the table in the center of the room as he waited. He took a deep breath and tried to focus on putting together a to-do list. He had two sets of nesting supplies always ready, one with his scent and one without. In the next few days, heâd try to figure out if there was anything else this omega wanted for the nest. Heâd gone grocery shopping the day before, so his pantry was stocked, but heâd see if there were any favorite comfort foods he could grab in his next shop. He needed to rearrange his work schedule, push back some deadlines so heâd have time to get the omega settled. He had no idea what theyâd be bringing with them, so a shopping trip for toiletries and clothes would probably be necessary. Depending on the omega's state, maybe he'd be able to get the shopping done on the way back to his house. He glanced at the time on his phone. Shit. Depending on what was open.
At movement right outside the door, he stood at attention. Yona came back in with you right behind her. He took a good look at you. You wore a rumpled long-sleeved floral dress that went down to your ankles. It was faded like itâd been washed too many times. Your eyes were fixed on the tennis shoes you wore, which had probably been white at one point, but now were discolored and looked like they didnât fit quite right.Â
There was a little hand-written number ten pinned to your dress. He wanted to raise a judgemental brow at Yona, but if none of you would say your names, he supposed Yona and her team had to come up with some way to keep track of you all.
He had to stifle a gasp when his eyes landed on your neck. There was a large bite scar over your mating gland. Unlike the neat and pretty, well-healed ones he was used to seeing, yours was deep and jagged, red and white, scar tissue bubbling up where your flesh had clearly been torn. This didnât look like a mating bite. It was the sort of bite meant to inflict pain. What sort of alpha had you had??
Your eyes stayed on the floor, your expression blank but your scent said so much â panic, sadness, terror, relief all jumbled together. He wanted to reach out and touch you, his alpha instincts were going haywire, but he kept his hands to himself.Â
âThis is Curtis,â Yona said to you. âHe's the alpha who's going to look after you until we can get all this sorted.â
You didnât react at all, just stood there, stiff as a board with your eyes on your shoes.
He stayed where he was, conscious of giving you space. âItâs very nice to meet you,â he said, as gently as he could. Then, with a glance to Yona, âCan you tell me your name?â
Your face scrunched up and the fear in your scent spiked but you didnât say anything. He sighed. Shit. He really didnât want to have to use an alpha command with you right now. That could be disastrous for any dynamic he tried to build with you. But they needed this information. He really, really hoped you wouldnât make him force you.
âOmega, whatâs your name?â he asked as firmly as he could, hopefully without scaring you. âI need to know.â
You closed your eyes tightly and he thought he saw the smallest little head shake. There was another moment of silence and he looked at Yona nervously. But then, you said it. So quietly he almost didnât catch it. But you said it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yona frantically scribbling it down, but his focus was completely on you.
He tried to keep his sigh of relief to himself. âThat was so good. Thank you. Youâre doing so well,â he said, keeping the praise soft, hoping you could scent how pleased he was with you. âWhen were you born?â
You gave up your birthday a little more easily, but you left off the year.Â
âThatâs great. Thank you. Do you know how old you are?â he asked, maintaining his gentle tone, knowing it was possible that you didnât.
For whatever reason, it was that that finally got a reaction out of you. You looked up at him, so he could finally see your eyes, and snarled, âIâm not stupid!â
There was a beat when no one did anything. Curtis and Yona just stared at you in shock. The snarl was frozen on your face until it suddenly disappeared and your eyes got wide. Before he was able to process any of what was happening, youâd dropped down onto your knees. âIâm sorry,â you whispered. âIâm sorry, Alpha. Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry. Alpha, Iâm sorry.â You just keep repeating that in a constant stream, your head tucked to your chest.
Repeatedly mixed into that jumble was a number. It took Curtis a few moments to realize it was your age. You were answering his question. He quietly repeated it to Yona, then dropped down to his knees as well so he could be closer to your level. âHey, hey. Youâre okay. Youâre alright. You didnât do anything wrong. Youâre right. You arenât stupid. I can already tell how smart you are. Itâs okay. Iâm not mad.â He wanted to reach out and touch you, wrap you in his arms, even, comfort you however he could. But he was too afraid that thatâd make you panic even more. That was a boundary he couldnât cross. Not yet. He stayed down there, whispering reassurances to you for as long as it took for you to stop apologizing, and a few extra minutes for your breathing to calm down. Once you seemed like you were back in the present moment, he moved to a crouch. âThink you can stand up for me, honey?â
You nodded, but you were back to keeping your eyes downcast. âYes, Alpha.â
He wanted to tell you that you didnât need to call him âAlpha,â that âCurtisâ was just fine. But that could wait until you were a little more comfortable. Once he had you home, maybe. He could already tell that picking his battles was going to be important.
âThank you,â he said as he stood up to his full height, and you did as well. âYou answered my questions so well. You gave me exactly what I needed.â He looked to Yona to see if there was anything else.
âDo you have any questions for me or Curtis?â she asked you.
You shook your head, emphatically, hunching your shoulders. The room filled with the scent of fear again.
âOkay⊠thatâs fine,â Yona said, and he could tell how much she hated this. âWell,â she turned to Curtis, âIâll go get the paperwork and then you two can get home. Iâll be right back,â she said to you, then left the room.Â
This was happening too fast. In normal circumstances, you would have already been at the center for a few weeks, at least, with access to mental health professionals, life skill classes, and support groups. Heâd be the last step before going back to the real world. Youâd be ready to spend time with an alpha. Ready to work through processing positive physical attachments. Ready to learn how to share space with someone who wasnât a threat to you. Youâd be ready to slowly take steps into the world, with him there to support you.
You had backed yourself into the corner now. He could see the way every single muscle in your body was trying not to cower. You werenât ready. You were nowhere near ready. But with all the resources for at-risk omegas pushed to their limit by this raid, what would happen to you if he didnât take you? As insufficient as it might be, his help could be all youâd be able to get. This wasnât how it should be, but heâd do everything he could for you.
Yona came back in and he watched her take you in, sighing at your state. He knew she was thinking the same things he was. âOk,â she said, handing him the packet of forms to sign. âNo changes since last time. You know the drill.â
He nodded as he grabbed them and sat down at the table, getting to work signing where he was supposed to. As he did, he felt your eyes on him as the scent of your apprehension filled the room.
Yona called your name. âLetâs go outside for a minute while Curtis finishes up.â
You both left quietly. This, too, was part of normal procedure. She was asking if you were sure you were comfortable leaving with him, telling you you had the option to say no, getting your verbal and written consent, and giving you cards with all the emergency numbers on them. He was afraid this situation might stretch the legal definition of informed consent. Based on everything heâd seen so far, he couldnât picture a scenario where youâd say no.Â
Nothing about this felt good, but everyoneâs hands were tied. And he knew that heâd do everything he could to keep you as safe as possible.
A few minutes after heâd finished signing the last page, you and Yona came back in. A worn knapsack hung from your fingers. It was small, confirming Curtisâs suspicions that you didnât have much in the way of clothes. Alright, that was priority number one.
Yona had a thin folder in her hand that she immediately passed to Curtis. âThe regular information, along with her schedule of appointments for the next few weeks, both doctor and therapist. And the card for the agent in charge of the investigation into the compound, in case anything pertinent comes up.â Then she turned to you with a small box. âIâve got a couple packets of suppressants for you. Do you want them or do you want Curtis to keep track of them for you?â
Your eyes cut to him suspiciously then flitted back to the floor. âAlpha,â you muttered.
âOkay,â Yona said, handing the box to Curtis as well. Then she clapped her hands together, her face set in grim determination. âI wonât keep you any longer then. Iâll see you both next week.â
On the way out of the center, Curtis was all too aware of the way you walked exactly three steps behind him, one step to the left. That wasnât just old-fashioned, it was archaic. Heâd never seen an omega do it in real life.
At his truck, you looked at the truckbed in a way that made him worried you might try to ride back there, so he opened the passenger door for you and waited for you to get in. He resisted the part of his alpha instincts that wanted to buckle you in. And after a gentle request, you did it yourself.
As the two of you hit the road, he reached over to turn the radio on. He tried to move slowly, but you still flinched. âWant some music?â he asked quietly.
You didnât respond, so he found an oldies station and left the volume low. His plan for the day had shifted a bit. You definitely werenât ready to go shopping. That was fine. There was nothing that couldnât be delivered.
About five minutes into the drive, the strong scent of your tears filled the cab. He looked over at you. You were huddled against the door, as far away from him as you could get. Your face was pressed against the window, so all he could see was the back of your head. But he could hear your sniffles and he could smell your distress.
It took everything in him to not pull over right now and reach over to comfort you. Pull you into his arms. Rub soothing circles on your back. But he knew that would do more harm than good. His touch wouldnât be welcome. Yet. You werenât ready.
And god, he wasnât either. He wasnât ready for any of this. But damn it, he was going to try.
Tag List is open!
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#still life#curtis everett x reader#curtis everett x you#curtis everett fanfiction#curtis everett x female reader#alpha curtis everett#alpha!curtis everett#omegaverse#omega reader#reader insert#snowpiercer#chris evans fanfiction#curtis everett angst#kris wrote something
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Hiii can i request coach!sevika x beginner reader?? Like in the gym
Spot Me?
áá Coach!Sevika x beginner!reader
áá Summary: You decided to stick true to your New Year's resolution and go to the gym, but you're struck with embarrassment every time you enter, not just because you're a complete novice at exercise but also because a particularly beautiful woman who obviously knows what she's doing is there.
áá CW: suggestive but no actual smut since it wasn't requested, sevika is naturally flirty and casually dominant and that rings true in this, no set body type just that reader hasn't exercised in a while, reader gets out of breath but no descriptions of asthma or anything seriously medically wrong.
áá A/N: OMG GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST FIC!! I'm so glad you guys actually enjoyed it and yes I will make a part two that is more fleshed out just allow me some time to do so lol. I'm gonna try to get into the swing of writing again as I've wanted to for a while but was unmotivated but since you've expressed your interest I shall do my best lol. As always interaction is appreciated and feel free to request whatever for any character I write for (check my masterlist to see which characters those are as I have updated it and my request rules) ALR ENOUGH YAP ESSSGETIT
áá Word Count: 1.3k
Like almost everyone on the planet on January 1st, I vowed to go to the gym. I've never been too concerned with my figure, I know that my size doesn't determine my worth or beauty but it does hurt my ego that the little 12-year-olds I babysit can carry more bags of groceries into the house than I can.
To prepare I bought a gym membership. I wanted to do pilates but the only classes were for rich stay-at-home moms with disposable incomes which I couldn't afford so I stuck to a cheap little gym membership. For Christmas, many of my friends and family bought me gym equipment and clothing to help jumpstart and keep me encouraged to go, as I don't want to feel as though I've wasted their money.
I procrastinated for a few days going under the guise of wanting to "avoid the rush on newcomers" when in reality I saw a couple of TikToks poking fun at the newcomers that come in January and don't know what they are doing then flake by February and it made me feel bad.
I want this to be serious I need to get stronger and improve physically.
I was on a downward spiral of insecurity about my skill or lack thereof when I saw an ad on Instagram advertising affordable trainers for newbie gym-goers.
Trying to cash in on the rush I see. I decided to click the link and check it out. If it's a scam, I'll just click out anyway.
I was greeted with a nicely arranged and professional-looking website. In the corner, I saw a badge that proudly announces 5 years of business. Must not be a scam after all I thought. I continue to look through the website partly due to boredom but also in part due to curiosity.
I click on a button that says "Personalize your workout and get a coach!" I fill it out completely and honestly because I could get help from someone who knows way more about exercise than I do. I'd rather cough up a few extra dollars every month and reach my goals rather than accidentally injure myself and never go back.
After a few moments of waiting for results it tells me I'm a complete novice, no duh, I thought. I should start with a completely basic workout to get me started but not overdo it. it gives me a couple of options for trainers who specialize in training newbies.
"Ew, they are all creepy-looking old guys." There was a fleck of disappointment in my tone. I kept looking though just to see if there wasn't anyone... geriatric looking. Then I see her.
A beautiful brown-skinned woman, at least 6 feet tall who is absolutely ripped. A calm, yet slightly authoritative look took over her face. After a moment of just staring at her pictures, I read her description.
Hi, I'm Sevika. Iâm 37 and have been exercising since I was a teenager so I know a thing or two about properly exercising and targeting the right muscle groups. Message me if you're interested in having me train you. Short and sweet, huh? I thought to myself after reading her quite short bio. I didn't even give it much of a second thought as I clicked her to be my coach and sent a deposit to lock it in. Then, promptly passed out as it was well past 2 am and I still had to work tomorrow.
After leaving work I came home and got ready to go to the gym. I had been briefly texting Sevika to set up meeting times for the weeks to come. To my disappointment, all her messages were short and to the point. we agreed every two days a week to keep it simple enough but to too hardcore to burn myself out, or my wallet.
I checked my new fitness watch to see what time it was and saw that I was cutting it close to when I had to meet her. From her messages, she seems very no-nonsense and wouldn't appreciate it if I was late for our first meeting. Not that I want to waste any time getting to see her.
After a short car ride, I go inside, get my new membership card to sign in, and then walk into the gym part. I look around a little anxious. all these people and these frankly daunting-looking equipment make me second guess myself, everyone looks like they know what they're doing what if they're secretly judging me for being new? Right as I'm gonna say fuck it and take the L of losing out on some money I hear a voice from my right call out my name.
I whip my head around to see who could be calling me I see her in all her glory.
Those pictures did not do her justice.
She's even more breathtaking in person. Before I can go on and keep staring at her she makes her way over to me with a natural swagger in her walk. I can't stop staring at her muscles that poke through her tight gray shirt. As she comes closer someone stops to dap her up. "Big Mama is back huh? haven't seen you in a bit." Big Mama is right. "Took a break to give you losers a chance to catch up to me, obviously it didn't help much." They both have a slight chuckle, Sevika pats them on their back and walks past them with a promise to hit them up later.
She finally walks up to me and gives me a quick look up and down and smirks slightly. âSo you're the newbie I'll be training for the next couple of weeks huh?â I give a flushed smile and nod a tad too fast, âYup, that's me, I'm excited to get back into the gym!â She gives me a bigger smirk at this. âI'm excited to have you here.â she leaves a lingering look at my lips that quickly goes down to my hips and back up to my eyes. She leads me towards the middle of the gym.
We discussed my reasons for exercising, and she mapped out a plan of action for my exercises. She also promised to send me a meal plan to follow to further my exercise journey.
âAlright let's start with some basic arm exercises since you're focused on strength in your upper body.â She led me to a bench and instructed me to bend over it with one arm supporting and one arm lifting the dumbbell.
As I moved she watched softly correcting my form but her hands lingered perhaps just a bit to long. I kept up doing several different low-impact strength training all of which Sevika kept a close eye and even closer hand on me to correct my form.Â
As time seemingly stretched on for ages, I finally completed my exercise routine for the day. As I gulped down my water rather quickly, her voice broke me from my exhausted daze.
âWell, judging by your dehydration and sweat on your brow, you definitely got in a good workout.â Her chuckle at the end of her statement brought over a rush of embarrassment, and I quickly tried to wipe any sweat off myself and calm down my rapid breath. So much for not trying to embarrass myself in front of her.
âOh my god, I must look insane right now, just give me a moment to compose myself!â I say hurriedly trying to fix my hair and save face in front of her. She reaches out and grabs my hand, âNo need to be embarrassed I think you look real good all sweaty in front of me.â Her grip on my arm and her words makes me look up at her and see the sultry look in her eyes.Â
âHow about I take you into the locker room and help you⊠freshen up.â
#sevika x reader#arcane#sevika#arcane sevika#arcane s2#arcane violet#arcane caitlyn#wlw#lesbian#bisexual#arcane smut#sevika smut#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#sevika x female reader
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Velvet Chains (Part I)
Plot Overview:
Y/N Y/L/N is the heir to a powerful mafia empire, but sheâs always preferred playing by her own rules. When tensions between her fatherâs Y/L/N family and the Stray Kids mafia escalate, she finds herself kidnapped by Bang Chan, the unpredictable leader of the rival gang. What starts as a strategic move to shake things up quickly turns into a high-stakes game of power, wit, and dangerous chemistry. Will Y/N outsmart Chan and reclaim control, or will she get swept up in his chaotic world?
Warnings: Mafia!BangChan, Mafia!AU, Violence, Kidnapping, Strong Language, Power Dynamics, Dark Themes, Flirting, Banter, High Tension, Smut(eventually)
PART II
Author Note:
Hey everyone! So, after posting a poll on Tumblr, the results are in and⊠Chan won! đ I guess yâall are as intrigued by his unpredictable charm as I am! đ So here we are, diving into the world of mafia intrigue with none other than Bang Chan. This story is going to be a wild ride, and I just couldnât stop writing once I started (you know how it goes, right?). So, get ready for a few partsâyep, this one is going to be a series! đ€©
I hope you enjoy this story as much as Iâm enjoying writing it. Expect plenty of tension, power plays, and some spicy moments to come. đ
As always, please read the tags carefully and make sure this is your cup of tea before continuing!
Hope you all enjoy this as much as I loved writing it. Please feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, and feedbackâIâd love to hear from you! đ
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Part I
The jazz bar wasnât exactly your style, but you appreciated the quiet. As the only daughter of Victor Y/L/N, the man who controlled the northern sector with an iron fist, finding moments of peace was a rare commodity. Your father had built the Y/L/N empire on a foundation of precision, discipline, and cold, calculated power. For three generations, the Y/L/N mafia had ruled this part of the city, their influence expanding through smuggling, money laundering, and intricate political ties. Everything had been meticulously planned. Every move, every person, every resourceâit was all part of the machine.
Victor Y/L/N wasnât just fearedâhe was respected. A master strategist who never played by anyone elseâs rules. His empire was a fortress, and youâd been raised to understand that you were part of it. You knew the stakes of the game, the cost of failure. You had a front-row seat to everything that happened in the world of organized crime, but instead of becoming the dutiful heir your father expected, youâd learned how to operate outside of his rigid control. You werenât just another piece in his game of chessâyou were the queen, always calculating your next move, never just following orders.
You were his greatest assetâand his greatest frustration.
Victor had raised you to understand power, to see the world in black and white. He taught you how to read people, how to dismantle an opponent without ever lifting a weapon. From the time you could walk, youâd been groomed for leadership. But you werenât like him.
Victor saw the world as a chessboard, and every person was a piece to be moved or sacrificed. You, however, refused to stay on the board. You wanted freedom, independence. You wanted to be more than a pawn in his endless games of control.
âEmotion is a weakness,â heâd told you countless times. âEmpathy will get you killed.â
But you didnât believe him. You knew that in the right hands, emotion could be a weapon. And while Victor wanted you to be cold and calculating, you had something he didnât: charisma. People followed your father out of fear. They followed you because they wanted to.
This difference had always been a point of contention between you.
Victor expected blind loyalty and obedience, but you questioned everything. When he ordered you to marry the son of an allied family to strengthen his position, you refused. When he tried to involve you in his dealings with corrupt politicians, you went behind his back to broker your own alliances.
You werenât defiant for the sake of itâyou were strategic. You understood the rules of the game, but you played by your own.
The silence of the bar was unsettling, though, as it contrasted with the world youâd known your entire life. The thrum of power, the constant buzz of dangerâit had always been there, but tonight something felt different. The shadows seemed deeper than usual, and even the bartenderâs hands shook as he poured your wine.
You glanced at the open notebook on the table in front of you, filled with coded notes about your fatherâs rivals, including one name that had come up more than any other recentlyâBang Chan. You knew the Stray Kids mafia had been a thorn in your fatherâs side for years, but the tension had reached a boiling point lately. The southern sector had grown too powerful, too unpredictable. And now, it seemed they were coming for you.
The Y/L/N and Stray Kids mafias had been in conflict for years. At first, it was subtle: small skirmishes, intercepted shipments, whispers of betrayal. But as Bang Chan rose to power, the tension escalated into an all-out turf war.
Chanâs rise was meteoric. Where your father relied on tradition and loyalty, Chan built his empire with innovation and ambition. He recruited the best hackers, the most skilled fighters, and the most loyal men, creating a network that outpaced even the most established families. His crewâStray Kidsâwas infamous for their unpredictability and efficiency.
Your father hated him, not just because of the territory disputes, but because Chan represented everything Victor despised: a new, disruptive power that didnât play by the old rules.
Youâd never met Bang Chan before, but youâd heard plenty about him. He was ruthless, charismatic, and maddeningly clever. If your father was a chess master, Chan was a wild card, someone who could flip the table and still win.
While the Y/L/N familyâs strength lay in its calculated, methodical approach, the Stray Kids mafia relied on innovation and unpredictability.
Your notebook sat open on the table. You didnât need to be here, but the idea of slipping away from under your fatherâs watchful eye always gave you a thrill. You lived for moments like this.
Until tonight.
The first thing you noticed was the bartenderâs shaky hands as he poured your second glass of wine. Then came the eerie silenceâthe background chatter fading as patrons disappeared one by one. You leaned back, crossing your legs under the table, and glanced toward the shadowed corners of the room.
âAlright,â you murmured under your breath, reaching for the knife strapped to your thigh. âLetâs play.â
Two figures stepped into the dim light. Han Jisung and Lee Know. You recognized them immediatelyânot just from reputation, but from the detailed dossiers your father kept on the Stray Kids mafia.
The Stray Kids were brutal, unpredictable, and far more cunning than anyone gave them credit for.
Where your fatherâs mafia was cold and calculated, theirs was wild and ambitious. It was no wonder your father hated them.
Han and Lee Know approached with an air of casual confidence, but you could tell they werenât taking any chances. You smiled, a sharp, mocking twist of your lips.
âWell, well. If it isnât Chanâs errand boys. Did you get lost on the way to the kiddie pool?â
Han snorted, clearly amused. âSheâs got jokes. I like her already.â
Lee Knowâs eyes narrowed, his voice low and measured. âWe can do this the easy way or the hard way, Y/N.â
You leaned forward, resting your chin on your hand. âOh, honey. Youâre adorable if you think either of those options work for me.â
Without warning, you lunged. The knife was in your hand in an instant, its blade glinting in the dim light. Lee Know blocked your strike, his movements quick and calculated, while Han stepped in to restrain your other arm.
âCute,â Lee Know said, his grip like steel around your wrist. âBut not smart.â
You twisted in his grasp, your knee coming up to narrowly miss Hanâs side. âDonât flatter yourself. Iâm just getting started.â
Han laughed, despite himself. âSheâs got fire. No wonder Chanâs so interested.â
That gave you pause. âInterested? Let me guessâhe couldnât find anyone else to stroke his ego, so he sent you two?â
Lee Knowâs lips twitched, the ghost of a smirk. âYouâll find out soon enough.â
You laughed, though the sound was more to cover your growing irritation than anything else. âHow cute. You think this is going to be easy?â
The two men didnât answer. They moved quickly, forcefully, but you fought back with every ounce of your strength. You managed to strike one of them in the ribs before they overpowered you and pulled your hands behind your back. It was the usual danceâthe struggle, the resistance. But you knew this wasnât just about you. This was about your fatherâs empire, and if they were here for you, then it was time to face the consequences of your fatherâs years of making enemies.
As Lee Know tightened his grip on your wrist, you resisted the urge to lash out. This wasnât about youâit was about your father. Victor Y/L/N had a way of making enemies, and it seemed Bang Chan had finally grown tired of playing nice. Not that you cared. Youâd spent years trying to step out of Victorâs shadow, but his decisions had a way of dragging you back in.
"You do realize this is going to piss off my father,â you said, looking at Han. âIs that the plan, or is Chan just bored?â
Han didnât seem fazed. âBored? Nah. This is business, Y/N. Chanâs got a point to prove.â
You scoffed. âAnd you think kidnapping me will prove it?â
âMaybe. Maybe not,â Han said, his grin widening. âBut itâll get his message across.â
You couldnât help but smile. âWell, donât take it personally, boys. Iâm not the one you should be worried about.â
Lee Knowâs grip on your wrist tightened, but you barely noticed. It was the truth, after all. The moment your father found out, all hell would break loose.
The ride to the Stray Kids estate felt like hours, but you knew it was only a matter of time before youâd face Bang Chan. The southern sector and the northern sector had been in a delicate balance for years. Your father kept his enemies close, but Chan had always been an anomaly. He didnât play by the same rules, and that made him dangerous.
You sat between Han and Lee Know, your hands loosely boundâjust tight enough to make a statement but loose enough to mock.
âYou know,â you said after a few minutes, breaking the silence, âthis is a sloppy move for Chan. Kidnapping me? Whatâs the play? Ransom? Leverage? Or is he just looking for a date?â
Han snickered. âSheâs quick.â
Lee Know didnât look at you, his gaze fixed on the road ahead. âWeâre not here to answer your questions, Y/N.â
âOf course not,â you replied smoothly. âThat would require actual intelligence.â
Han turned to you, grinning. âYouâre awfully bold for someone in your position.â
âBold is just another word for better,â you said, tilting your head toward him. âSpeaking of bold, is Chan still pretending heâs running the southern sector with brains, or has he admitted itâs all brawn and luck?â
Lee Knowâs hand tightened on his knee, but Han seemed genuinely entertained. âI canât wait for him to meet you.â
When you arrived at the mansion, Chan was waiting.
The estate was grand, modern, and coldâa stark contrast to the warmth of your fatherâs domain. The walls seemed to pulse with the quiet hum of power, and you could feel it as you were led inside. Chan was the type of man who demanded respect without saying a word. It was a quiet confidence that bordered on arrogance.
When he turned to face you, you couldnât help but appreciate the way he commanded the room without a single movement. His gaze locked onto yours, and you stood your ground.
âWell, well,â you said, crossing your arms. âLet me guess. This is about my father. What, did he steal one of your shipments? Break one of your toys? Seems like a petty reason to kidnap me.â
Chan smirked, his hands sliding into his pockets. âPetty? No. Letâs call it⊠strategic. Your fatherâs been playing the same tired game for years. He doesnât realize the board has changed.â
âAnd you think youâre the one changing it?â you shot back.
âI know I am,â he replied, his tone casual but sharp. âAnd you, Y/N, are far too smart to pretend otherwise.â
He smiledâa dangerous, predatory curve of his lipsâas he walked toward you. âYouâve built quite the reputation for yourself. Smart, strategic, ruthless when you need to be. Youâre not your father, though, are you?â
You bristled, stepping forward to meet his gaze head-on. âNo, Iâm not. Iâm better.â
The room seemed to hold its breath.
Chan tilted his head, his smirk widening. âI see.â He gestured for Lee Know and Han to leave, his eyes never leaving yours. âYou can drop the act, Y/N. I didnât bring you here for ransom.â
âThen what?â you shot back. âYou looking for a chess partner? Because I donât play games I canât win.â
Chan chuckled, low and dangerous. âOh, I think youâll find this game⊠worth playing.â
You crossed your arms, leaning closer to him. âAnd what makes you think I wonât burn your whole empire to the ground?â
He leaned in, his voice a soft whisper. âBecause youâre too smart to destroy something youâll want to rule.â
The tension crackled like electricity, but you didnât flinch. This was a battle of wills, and you werenât about to lose.
#bang chan#stray kids#skz smut#kpop smut#skz#lee know#han jisung#stray kids mafia#bang chan fanfic#bang chan smut#skz mafia
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It's the first day of DBDA character appreciation week, which means that I will be making a very special post about a very special boy.
(This is going to get somewhat personal, so be forewarned. This is okay to reblog. I didn't go into specifics.)
An open letter to Edwin Payne -
As much as I love Charles and Niko, you have had a special place in my heart since the moment I turned on Dead Boy Detectives. I don't know why - maybe it was just a premonition of how much you would come to mean to me.
When I was in high school, I was horribly abused by a teacher in my school. The entire system worked to cover it up; after all, the district didn't want a scandal, and the other teachers didn't want a blemish on their good name. The rug-sweeping and the lack of justice hurt almost as much as the years of abuse. There's no feeling that small, that insignificant, to feel like experiences that left you changed and shattered don't matter.
By the time we got to your scene in the butcher shop, I already had fallen in love with your character ten times over. We're both obvious queerdos and I love you for it.
But when you started talking about the school covering up your death, and Charles's, and how nothing happened when you died, it struck a nerve. Because we didn't matter, in a voice so hurt and resigned, was something that resonated with every molecule in my body.
I'd thought the words a million times over. We didn't matter. Why didn't we matter? We deserved to matter!
It was the first time anyone had echoed that sentiment that I held close to my chest. And immediately I realized why I love you so much.
You and Charles work to get justice for others who didn't have it. I bet if you were real, and I were dead, you would work to get justice for me like no one has. Watching you work and solve cases, watching you make sure that everyone's trauma matters, it makes me feel like there's hope for me. Because there are good people like you out there, real people. People who would read to a dying boy after escaping literal Hell.
Edwin, I am completely and utterly gone for you. There are precious few characters as dear to me as you are, and without you, I know that the resentment that still sits inside me would have festered and burned. Your tenacity and your bravery astound me, and the way you escaped an undeserved fate in Hell is nothing short of beautiful. Your kindness after what you have seen and been through is astonishing, and the way that you altruistically help others and love selflessly feels like it's broken me apart and remade me into something better than I have been.
Thank you, Edwin. Thank you. Thank you. I love you more than I can say.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#dbdacharacterappreciationweek#he matters so much to me you do not even know#every day i am so upset that netflix canceled his show
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PABU'S FESTIVAL OF LOVE 2025
Info, Rules, and F.A.Q.
Tomorrow, I'll send the first batch (no pun intended) of prompts to those signed up (join here!). This is how I picked them.
In one word: randomly. I made several lists (with over 70 prompts in total), divided by types and ratings, and put them in a picker wheels. I left everything to chance. Specific lists aren't that long (about 6 prompts each).
It means that two (or more) people could get one repeated prompt. But like most of you selected a unique combination of prompt types, nobody got both prompts the same. And it wouldn't matter if you did; y'know, the "Two Cakes!" scenario.
Once received, you have a month to work on the prompt(s), and will be due on February 14th, 2025.
When uploading your content to your Tumblr blog, be sure to mention this blog and add the event hashtags: #pabu's festival of love 2025 and/or #PFoL 2025.
Any relationship is acceptable (platonic or romantic) among the Bad Batch, as well as other clones. Of course, original characters and readers are acceptable.
PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING (both by mentioning the blog and putting on the necessary tags, especially concerning NSFW). That'll ensure that your post will be reblogged on this blog.
I'll do my best to reblogged everyone's posts, but if I miss yours, please let me know. Just give me a few hours before you panic đ
If you want, you can also add your work to the Ao3 Collection (closed at the moment, but I'll open it in due time). Use the same event Tumblr tags when posting to the archive. When adding the tags, it might appear tbb-appreciation-week's Pabu's Festival of Love 2025 (Star Wars) on the dropdown. That's the canonical tag for the event. You can click on it, but it's way too long and complicated for anyone to remember, so don't worry about it. By me, being connected to high places, I'll make sure that however you tag it as, it'll be attached to the right place.
If you are posting NSFW fics or art on Tumblr, I ask that you use the Keep Reading break to hide the NSFW portion of your work; and please, give the proper warnings. On Ao3, please use the correct rating and warnings as well.
In this place, we're all for minding our own business, Ship And Let Ship, Kink Tomato, and all that, so everyone is free to create whatever they want. Participants are expected to hold judgment of others and their works to themselves, even if they don't agree with or find it repulsive. This event isn't for you if you disagree. Harassment to participants for any reason is NOT TOLERATED!
Show support to other participants by reblogging, leaving likes/kudos AND comments. If an author or artist has asked for constructive criticism (not the same as a comment, and with constructive being the keyword) you may give it. However, refrain from giving any of the unsolicited kind, as it is discouraging for the author or artist.
But most of all, HAVE FUN!!! This is a lay-back event, to show love for our favorite characters.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you all come up with!
If you have questions, send me a message to the ask box or a DM, either in this blog or my fandom blog @nimata-beroya.
Thanks for reading, and happy creating!
Mod Mare â€
--
PS: There's one person who signed up on Jan 10 and didn't leave their URL. I don't know who you are but I need you to contact me ASAP! Otherwise, I won't be able to send your prompts. HINT: You requested songs!
Frequently Asked Questions
Is [fill the blank] allowed?
When in doubt:
And how about�
Yes, that, too. Give total freedom to your creativity, and don't worry about whether or not it's allowed. Most things are okay, barring anything inciting or glorifying harassment, hatred, or discrimination of any kind.
Do I have to use both prompts?
You can use one or both. It's up to you.
Can I post late?
Yes, that's totally fine; I understand that real life gets in the way sometimes. I'll also reblog posts from latecomers.
So, when should I post?
According to your time zone, during the day at the most convenient time for you, on February 14th.
Will you reblog my post?
Yes, I'll reblog everyone's posts during the day. If I miss yours, please let me know (but wait a few hours before you do).
Can I combine PFoL's prompts with other creation challenges?
Absolutely! If you have a bingo card to fill or another event to complete, go for it. Thatâs like shooting two mynocks with one bolt, using one of Crosshair's reflective disks!
Can I upload/repost my work to other social media platforms?
Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like. Additionally, Iâve created an AO3 Collection to archive any work posted there. (It's closed right now, but I'll open it in due time)
If any of the prompts fit well for an existing fic/art I am currently working on, can I use it?
If you are currently working on this fic/art with Valentine's Day in mind, the answer is yes. In the case of using a work retroactively (meaning: already published and complete), then please, donât.
Where can I post my work?
Post where and however you want. You donât have to cross-post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind, if itâs not on Tumblr, I won't be able to add it to the blog archive. You can post a just link to anywhere else you've posted if you don't want to put the entire work in your blog.
Do I have to finish a fic I started? Can I post a work in progress?
Yes, you can post WIPs. And youâre not obligated to finish it. It'd make me happy that this event prompt you to create something longer. Let's appreciate the Bad Batch all year around!
Is co-creating allowed?
Yes, absolutely! Encouraged, even. Not just the usual writer-artist or co-writing collaborations, also any kind of medium combos: fic-podfic, fic-playlist, art-art, etc.
Is there a min/max limit on word count?
None. If you want to write a 100-word drabble or a 50k fic or anything in between, it's all up to you. You're the only one who knows how much time you can dedicate to it and how high/low your level of inspiration/energy is. You can even write a snippet for a fic you'll write later when you have the time/energy. Remember that this is lay-back-type of an event. Do as little or much as you want/can.
How do I tag triggers?
Just tag the word/phrase, e.g., blood; main character death. (DO NOT add "tw" either at the beginning or at the end. That makes it harder for readers to block the right tags). Here it's the list of the most common warning tags you should use when appropriate.
Also, it would be prudent to add warnings in the post's body, giving the readers another layer of protection before they do the actual reading.
Can we @ you?
Yes, please DO! It's the safest way for me not to miss your posts. I'll also be following the #pabu's festival of love 2025 and #PFoL 2025 tags, just for good measure.
What are the forbidden topics for our writing?
As I said before, anything goes, EXCEPT anything inciting or glorifying harassment, hatred, and discrimination of any kind against anything or anyone. THAT WON'T BE TOLERATED. For anything else, please tag your trigger warnings properly. And keep in mind Tumblrâs policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever other site you use).
Can I cross post on other blogs?
Yes, sure. That's fine. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.
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â2024 has been so difficult for me, and i want to end the year off on a high note by thanking everyone whoâs been there for me through it.
âthank you for talking to me. thank you for listening to me talk to you in return. thank you for staying on vc with me to play games or talk or draw or cry together. thank you for keeping my secrets. thank you for telling me yours. thank you for the gifts youâve given me. thank you for the advice youâve offered when i needed help. thank you for the silly messages you've sent me unpromptedâit is so joyous to be remembered when iâm not around. thank you for making me feel safe. thank you for letting me stay by your side. thank you for staying by mine.
âthe passage of time is so scary to me, i think. once things are over you can never get them backâall you can do is move forward and hold the memories close to your heart. thank you for the memories youâve given me, i will treasure them eternally. i am so happy that we get to keep moving forward together, from one year into the next.
âto kia, diggs, casey, and everyone in sweaties gang; to wewa and rei; to lorel; to eliza and mitsu; to wiz and corbell; to alex, nash, geddon, and paperd; to worm and goldie; to candy and ashe; to haze, mono, benji, and chasm; to my partners (sasha, robin, and keith); to steel; to michael, and to collie;
i am so grateful i know you. i am so grateful we exist here, at the same time, together. thank you for everything. i love you, i love you, i love you.
@dreemurr-skelememer @digglesgiggles @megaloserrr @lollipopz-shop @popiplant @aoartmthebitxh @s3-izures @otterbup @kuvlarstuff @heartstitched @thiccsys @b0tanicalb00ba @popiplant @rushroulett3 @wewawoomp @dagwmeno @onlyplatonicirl @elizakai @swiftmitsu @wizb1z @calciumdreams @psycho-chair @nashdoesstuff @unknownarmageddon @canine-teethed-sheets @fishfrypi @candy-cryptid @narrators1and2 @hazerun3 @monolite001 @bonejello @chasmbreach @xyriscomplanata @livinganime14 @paddinglily @corvidmellow @lambradire-art @hackrusty
âĄ
#and to the rest of my tumblr followers & mutuals & friends; thank you. i appreciate you endlessly#thank you for the attention and support. thank you for being here. it means infinitely much to me.#through this difficult year art has been a huge help in getting me through to the other side;#i hope you have loved looking at mine as much as i loved making it.#thank you for sticking around in my corner of the internet to watch me flourish. i hope you stay a bit longer. âĄ#and in case the very specific person i am thinking of is somehow reading this#i've been trying to figure out many things lately#one thing i am certain of nowâeven if i wasn't beforeâis that of all the wrong things going on in the world#ending an unconditionally loving friendship over a sans au ship you don't like is⊠silly. and chronically online.#but more importantly fickle. and cruel. i will not do that to these people; not for you. not for anyone else.#i will not judge the morals of those around me based off arbitrary (and in the long run meaningless) things we disagree on#but on the actions they take in the real world; the love and kindness iâve always been shown unconditionally#not everyone is like the person who hurt me#the world is so full of light and love if you try to look for it#i wish you well too.#âđŹ / text#âsunne friends#âsunnesona#<- different from how i usually represent myself in my art but still me. perhaps even more so#alright enough chattering from me#good luck in the new year; i hope very much that we are all still here this time next year#thank you so much everyone. from the bottom of my heart.
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doodles from my shadowheart origin run ^_^ her and astarionâs friendship makes me smile i like it.
i was really intrigued by the way their traumas/backstories are fairly similar but they react to their trauma differently⊠shadowheart, while trying to keep up a hardened front, wants people to be safe and okay, while astarion wants the world to burn because he had to suffer so should everyone else.. IDK ITS FUN ^_^
#shadowheart#art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#SIGHH posting this stupid man . everyone who looks at this better appreciate shadowheart too. this post is NOT about astarion#hes functioning as shadowhearts purse dog in this post.#also if anyone noticed without reading these tags that i swapped their fits⊠heh.#THEIR FITS FIT EACH OTHER SM BETTER its kinda crazy.. shadowheart so debonair
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another painting
#because i have no self control lmao#kÀÀrijÀ#jere pöyhönen#digital art#this was surprisingly fun to paint#i usually prefer working in black and white because it's easier for me#but this one was fine lol#also#i just wanted to say#thank you to everyone who leaves nice comments in the tags of my posts#i read all of them and seriously i appreciate this so much you have no idea#i've been absolutely miserable recently#and reading all the nice things you guys wrote#really made me feel better#so yeah... thank you!#(i do appreciate all likes and reblogs btw and i don't want anyone to feel pressured into leaving a comment or smth)#(i just really had to say thanks lol)
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a few little room adjustments! đđđž i love my desk a lot now, and the new little sakura Laito tapestry is soo cute!!đđ (look, my room is not fully Laito-only actuallyđđ this part at least... the wig is Shogun Raiden btw!)
also say hi to the chibi gang on my table<3 (no space left for them on my shrine lmaoo)
#years of collecting little things here and there so now i feel very happy with my room!#it really changed over the years#also go and collect things you see that make you happy!!#i also have a whole collection of crystals and some peacock feathers#always loved these things since i was tiny#another awesome decoration are fairylights <33#and cute plushies#books you enjoy#photos you love on your wall from trips and friends and events#next to all of your favourite characters merch ofc#happy comfort place is very important!<3#bless everyone who read all that#putting a little spell here for you for good things to happen to you and that your wishes and plans become wonderful reality<3#btw i got the pastel pink-white desk shelf from aliexpress it really made everything better<3 just got it but if anyone wants the link?#im happy to share it<3#diabolik lovers#diahell#dialovers#laito sakamaki#sakamaki laito#merch#laito appreciation#ăăŁăąăăȘăăŻă©ăŽăĄăŒăș#ăăŁăąă©ă#éć·»ă©ă€ă
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Okay so I am back to reading Star Wars books, and I have JUST started Shatterpoint and I already know this books is gonna be great because..
No more than a couple pages in (itâs an e-book idk how many pages in the physical copy it is..it might be the first page idk đ€·đ»ââïž) Mace Windu expresses regret over not killing Dooku on Geonosis
Heâs overthinking and stressing over that decision and why he made it
And what is one of the reasons he couldnât bring himself to kill Dooku?
Because they were friends
Because he LOVED HIM
Yeah. You read that correctly. Mace Windu loved Count Dooku. His words. Not mine. He used the word love. They were friends before Dooku left the order and Windu admits it to himself that he could not let him go, could not separate the jedi he knew with the man in front of him.
Thatâs right. Mace Windu. The man whom so many fans believe is a cold and unfeeling asshole.
That man, believes that he potentially allowed his love for the Dooku that was his friend stop him from killing him.
He thinks he mightâve
allowed his emotions to cloud his judgement
and cannot get over that feeling of regret.
And that is so goddamn important to me.
#like what a way to open this book#he had some good moments in the clone wars but this is really the first time ive seen him written this way so far#this immediately humanizes windu in a way the movies never got the chane to do#i always see people talk about how they think mace is an arrogant dick to everyone#that he thinks heâs above anyone who makes mistakes but this shows right away how untrue that is#not only does he know he makes mistakesâŠhe will sometimes allow those mistakes haunt him#HE IS NOT PERFECT AND HE DOESNT THINK HE IS AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM#i bet there are people who see stuff like this and go âwell its not canonâ#but to me canon is whatever I decide because consuming media is more fun that way#anyways I love mace windu#i love when the jedi are critical of themselves#i love star wars books#this is only the second legends book iâve read and I canât wait to read a bajillion more#also i looked up the proper use of the word âwhomâ for this post which I feel needs to be appreciated#iâm also not confident at all that I used it correctly#star wars#mace windu#shatterpoint#shatterpoint by matthew stover#jedi#star wars novels#kate's post
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what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention
but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"
like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is
#One's Notebook#me: yeah i think i might draw again specifically because i know people are more supportive of something that requires less power on their#part to consume and im really desperate for attention because despite participating in fandom for a decade i've never found a community#and i really would like to make some friends so i'm not alone all the time#someone: oh that's such a great reason to start drawing you should draw i support everyone learning how to draw!#me: hey i wrote this fic and i know it's not necessarily your favorite ship but i'd really appreciate if you read it/left a comment#someone: lol what kind of a fucking freak are you? i'm not going to waste my time reading something that isn't within my immediate interest#write for yourself how dare you even think to ask people to support your WRITING#venting#i'll probably delete this#it's just crazy to me how much people don't value writing at all but they won't admit it#i actually hate the âwrite for yourselfâ rhetoric now because it's only ever used to tear writers down#or for writers to tear themselves down before anyone else can#or worse#for writers to feel superior to other writers who are desperate little freaks who dared to want to share their creation
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*banging pots and pans together* THE FINAL CHAPTER HAS ARRIVED AT AN AO3 NEAR YOU! GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!
In all seriousness, I still can't quite believe it's actually done. I'll have more thoughts tomorrow.
#isabel.tex#my writing#bachelorette au#sprace#jatherid#newsies#newsies fanfiction#okay time to shower so i can go to dyke night (that's actually what it's called) and be too awkward to talk to anyone#there's this one book thief quote i want to use but that feels too pretentious for a bachelorette au so i'll hide it in the tags#i have hated the words and i have loved them and i hope i have made them right#anyway i appreciate everyone who's read/commented/kudos-ed this fic so so much#genuinely that is what kept me going through some really low points re: mental health
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so sad when someone is a very funny person but has terrible opinions on your favorite media and/or characters. get well soon đ
#this post is about the kh character popularity poll...#i skimmed through it just to see the results and intended to listen to the commentary later but. i dont think i can man#i caught the entirety of skuld's section... yeagh#i stopped joining the streams ages ago bc of how constantly lexaeus and vexen were used as the butt of jokes about bad/unlikable charas#and it was starting to bug me but like. that's lexaeus. no one has good takes about him because no one reads the supplemental material-#that being the character file and the days secret report- where 60% of his personality âdepthâ comes from#people with bad takes on him are a compromise I can make. but do not slander the good name of skuld or union cross#okay to be fair he mostly just said she has no personality and is easily replaceable but the joke of saying her name and then skipping to#the next person on the list and then going back saying âalright fine I'll talk about skuldâ didn't feel great#HER PERSONALITY SECTION ON KHWIKI IS EMPTY BECAUSE NO ONE EDITING IT KNOWS KHUX CHARACTERS!!! my telekinesis throws everything aroundtheroo#pretty sure this was his take about most mobile game characters. i probably like them so much because theres something in the water here#zero understanding about why anyone voted for baldr... this also happened with data sora#anway it's 1:30 in the morning#appreciation for serious characters who bring hardworking vibes to the table that everyone calls boring. putting axel in a glue trap.#goodnight#bluejay chirpin
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y'all, I am so sorry that the new stranger skin chapter is taking a while. I'm going into my final semester of university, and it's going to be pretty stressful, so things may be a bit more erratic for the next few months. I love and care about this story so much, and it will get finished, but I think it's going to be a bit slow for a minute.
#my writing#stranger skin#like i'm finishing up my thesis and that's taking a lot#and then my classes are kind of actually really difficult#which i was expecting but also completely caught of guard by#i'm thinking around 15 chapters total for the fic though#i'm going to sit down this week and REALLY plan things out so i can write in my free time and pick it up when needed w/o thinking#also going through writers blockrn#whatever mystery illness i had two weeks ago gave me bad brain fog#lol is anyone still reading at this point? this has become a vent#if you want i can share fun stranger skin things in the meantime! like i have a good playlist for it if anyone is interested haha#i should also say that i appreciate everyone who has read/commented/kudos'd the fic and i am happy and love it#it's just having to be on the backburner a little bit right now
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#vent#wow I will never be able to let myself have friends huh#I am unwanted and inherently unwantable#I have it all figured out I just can't DO anything right. why is breaking silence the hardest thing to do#I can't bring myself to make/maintain/deepen friendships bc I'm convinced that I'm unpleasant to be around and unpleasant to be friends with#my company is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy#<- completely unjustified belief. I am kind and friendly and capable of responding appropriately in the majority of social situations#they reach out and I shrink back every time. no matter how much they reach towards me I can't believe that they actually want me around#and ofc the reasonable thing for them to do is stop reaching! when I never reach back! why would they expect a different outcome this time#so I can't blame anyone. I can't sit around waiting for a saintly mindreader who can see that my actions contradict my feelings#I know I just need to reach out. but how could I do that when I'm convinced it'll only hurt them?#my presence makes their day worse. I'm a mangy dog begging for scraps I don't deserve at their table. I am harming them with my presence#how can I beg for their attention and company and time when I know their life would be better without me in it#<- false belief. when I reach out I make them feel wanted and they feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they know I like them.#everyone appreciates being reached out to. I am pleasant to be around. they like being liked by me. my company is a desirable thing#company in general is a desirable thing. my company is better than no company. people like being liked.#logically I know all this to be true. emotionally? they hate me and I deserve it and the more I show I like them the more they'll hate me#sigh. what a banal problem to have. I'll stop being 18 years old one day. I can't wait until I have better things to worry about#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao#narcissus's echoes
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Sometimes I start thinking one of my batfam fics is a âflopâ or whatever (I know I know thatâs not the point but I like attention sue me) but then I remember I used to write primarily for a mobile fashion game and I look back at the numbers on those fics and itâs like. You know maybe itâs not that bad on this side of the grass actually.
#not to say that Iâm not appreciative of everyone who read and commented on my Nikki fics#my audience engagement was actually really good cause I was writing for a very small fandom with an even smaller number of fic writers#so it was like bringing a cake and the only other dessert is like cookies or something#but that fic! my Labyrinth au! I worked on it for a year!! it was a labor of love!#and it has fewer hits than my least popular batfam fic. itâs wild#anyway if anyone wants to read a fantasy f/f Labyrinth fusion au for a fandom theyâre not in I wrote one!#but Iâve been told you donât actually have to know anything about love Nikki or labyrinth to enjoy it#itâs just kinda a fantasy story. it was a good time.
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