#I apologise for my horrendous punctuation and grammar

[anonymousweirdo]

Beautiful Liar

“He cares about you.”

Loki taking this in tried his best, as he usually does when it comes to people who care about him, not to think about it. People who care about him usually end up getting hurt. Whether it be by him, something, or someone else. Lying to people and never allowing them to get truly close made things easier. Or so he had always managed to convince himself. However he couldn’t ignore the extreme loss and anguish he had felt when he thought Mobius had died nor the extreme joy and relief he felt when he realised he was alive. Still Loki tried his best to ignore all these things.

“It’s cold.” Was all he managed to say. Like me he thought at the very back of his mind.

“Mmhmm.” Came Sylvie’s reply.

Loki conjured up himself a blanket. Something that felt and seemed real in order to mask the feelings he felt that were too real.

“I could conjure one for you, if you like.” He kindly and intentionally offered. Knowing that Sylvie probably handles her emotions in a similar way.

“Tell you what, you could conjure me a new outfit. You have no idea how uncomfortable something like this is.” She said.

Ah a witty joke that carefully avoided help and receiving care.

How like a Loki.

Loki chuckled softly at the madness of it all. Why couldn’t he ever just let himself be loved?

“So... Mobius...”

Oh God here we go. Thought Loki.

“and his um... theory about-“

“Right right!” Interrupted Loki who was not entirely sure whether or not he felt relieved that they were discussing their nexus event instead of Mobius’ genuine care for him or not. “About our nexus event.”

“Total rubbish, right?”

Loki immediately feeling his heart sink, immediately ignoring it sinking, and immediately responding said, “Absolutely. Of course! I mean...”

Sylvie knowing Loki, as she was actually him to some extent, picked up on this and quickly stated, “I don’t mean that it wasn’t you know a nice moment.”

“No it was great. It was really nice it-it-it was great.” Loki faltered. Realising that the very thing he wished to avoid thinking or talking about he was now having to think and talk about. The very thing he tried to ignore from Mobius. Someone genuinely caring for him and he genuinely caring for someone else.

“It just... sounds like another TVA lie.” Said Sylvie. Often feeling that lies were all she knew. Both from herself and from others.

“A hundred percent! I mean t-totally...” Lie. Just like what you’re doing to yourself right now. Just like what you’re doing to her right now. Just like what you do to him. Just like you always bloody do. “yeah....”

He glanced at Sylvie knowing just how much, just how intimately, she lies too.

“I don’t know how to do this.” She admitted. Not a lie.

“I don’t even know what we’re doing.” He admitted. The truth.

She smiled at him knowingly. “I don’t have friends.” Knowing he does the same as her. Knowing he too never allows anyone to get close. “I don’t have... anyone.”

“Well...” that nagging thought he always pushed aside was at its loudest. Open up. Be honest. Tell her everything. How lonely you truly are. How you’re terrified of being alone yet somehow manage to push away every single person who’s every cared about you. He killed it with a lie. Like he’s done thousands of times. Every time. “There are more important things right?”

“Right? Yeah! L-like bringing down the TVA!” She can lie to herself too. Obviously.

“I mean saving the universe when you think about it.”

“Well there’s no need to be dramatic but, yeah, kind of.”

A few moments of silence passed between the two. Loki knew Sylvie was shivering. Knew just how much she was shivering. How unbearably cold and lonely she was too. Unable to stand it any longer he decided to actually act on his genuine care for her. For himself. He made the blanket grow bigger so that Sylvie wouldn’t be cold.

He wondered if she knew why he did this. Just how symbolic it truly was and then with a smile he suddenly realised that of course she did.

“It’s not very snuggly.” She said.

He let forth an amused and exhausted laugh “Okay.”

“Is it a tablecloth?”

“No. It’s a blanket!”

She looked him in the eye. Fully knowing why he did what he just did and just how difficult it is for them, how difficult it always is for a Loki, to love and be loved.

“Thank you.”



Tried of always lying. Tried of always being lonely. Tried of always being Loki. He said “My pleasure.” He meant it.

“How do I know that in the final moments you won’t betray me?” Sylvie asked. Tried as well.

“Listen, Sylvie, I...” Loki sighed deeply. All the thoughts that he hid for years. All the feelings he ignored. Everything about himself he constantly lied to himself about. He let it all out with a simple action. Telling the truth. “I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother...” Mobius his mind told him but he wouldn’t admit it. “My home. I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore... okay? I won’t let you down.” And this time, for once, he actually believed himself.

“You sure?” She asked.

Loki nodded.

“Cause if we make it,” She continued. “And the TVA is gone, there might be a timeline for you to rule.”

Ah yes, ruling, an easy way to secure a false sense of control. To control other people alongside your feelings. To control and manipulate others as easily as you control and manipulate yourself. What fun.

“Ah. And then I’d finally be happy.” Loki said sarcastically.

Sylvie sighed. Back to lying I see she thought for a moment.

“What about you?” Loki asked. “What will you do when this is all over?”

Sylvie who lived her whole life according to one purpose simply replied, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.” Loki responded. The less he lied the more he realised he could tell the truth. The more he could be honest with himself. The more he could let himself care and be cared for. “Maybe... maybe we could figure it out... together.”

She stared at him not fully convinced but not unconvinced either. “Maybe.”

And maybe Loki could really figure it out one day. How he truly felt about Mobius. How he truly felt about Sylvie. How he truly felt about himself.

How he truly felt about being loved. How he truly felt about his own love for others. Maybe. Maybe one day he will stop lying. Just maybe.