#I am well aware that that ending is diabolical 😈

[running-tweezers]

~ Pictures Of You - Part 5 ~

When Mercutio leaves Zephyr teary-eyed, Nate would try anything to see them happy again. Even something as crazy as breaking the confines of the 30 minute time-slot, and creating something a little more intimate.

Rated T

2830 Words

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

~ June 9, 1989 ~

Thursday night had become the highlight of Nate’s week. It was the thing he daydreamed about to get him through the day. But this time, he wasn’t sure why he was even tuning in. He knew what he was going to see. He knew it was just going to make him feel worse. But he still stayed up. He still brewed that pot of coffee so it would be ready in time. He still flipped over to the public access channel and sipped from his mug, anxiously awaiting 1 AM. He couldn’t miss it.

Some teenage rock band had the slot before Zephyr, which would usually be one of the more amusing things to watch while he waited, but he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention. He was too busy thinking about last week. Mercutio’s voice kept snaking its way around his head. That cloying condescension that switched to anger the second he didn’t get his way, and then right back to the sweetness when Zephyr finally gave in. It made him sick.

He regretted not calling in. There probably wasn’t anything he could’ve done over the phone, especially live on the air, but he could’ve done something. At least made sure they were alright. But he just couldn’t take hearing that asshole’s manipulative bullshit for one more minute.

And now he was about to see Mercutio. Sitting right next to Zephyr. Talking about himself. For half an hour. Just the thought made his blood boil, but he had to make up for last week somehow.

Eventually the teenage rock stars finished strutting around what looked like a high school gym, and the show switched over to Zephyr’s familiar droning music. Nate braced himself for Mercutio’s stupid face. He hadn’t even seen it yet, but he knew it was stupid.

When the video signal came through seconds later, there was no stupid face. He unclenched his jaw. It was just Zephyr on their own, like always.

“Welcome,” Zephyr said shakily, “night owls and creatures of the darkness.”

It was the same intro they always used. But weaker. Smaller.

“My name’s Zephyr. And you’ve stumbled into my world for the next half hour…” They punctuated their sentence with a sniff and a quick swipe of their sleeve under their nose. Their black makeup was smudged out under their bottom lid, and the corners of their red, puffy eyes shone wet in the lights.

They’d been crying.

Zephyr cleared their throat. “The music you're hearing right now is actually a local band, Bitter Veil. This is a new single they recorded.” They tried their hardest to press on like everything was fine. “They gave me this last weekend when they played at Mercutio’s. They were great.”

Zephyr was no stranger to hiding their feelings on the show, in favor of a cooler, more aloof personality. But even their strongest mask couldn’t hide this.

Their mouth pursed into a thin line. “And speaking of Mercutio, I was supposed to be talking to him here tonight, but unfortunately he, uh… had to cancel.” They picked up a black and white composition notebook from the desk and flipped through it. “He— well, it wasn’t actually him. One of his associates, I guess, called me about 20 minutes ago to let me know he wouldn’t be coming. He apparently had, ‘more important things to do.’ That’s what they said.”

More important things to do.

Those words sparked the fire already kindling inside Nate. That absolute dick.

“And hey, I get it. He’s really busy. He’s got a lot going on.” They let out a small, unnatural sounding laugh. “Maybe another time.” They thumbed hopelessly through the notebook, before sliding it to the opposite side of the desk.

Before he could even form the thought, Nate had already dialed 4 numbers. He had to do something. This time he’d make sure they were ok.

“So, I’ll admit I’m a little unprepared now, it was so short notice.” They glanced off screen for a moment and muttered under their breath. “It doesn’t fucking matter, no one’s watching anyw—“

Their eyes darted to the switchboard. There was a hint of hope in them, like maybe they expected it to be Mercutio on the other end, telling them he could come on after all.

Nate hoped his voice coming through instead wouldn’t be a let down.

“Hi, you’re on the air.”

“Hey! It’s me. It’s Nate.”

“Oh.”

He couldn’t make out whether that was an ‘oh’ of surprise or disappointment.

“I’m— I’m sorry your guest didn’t come. That really sucks.”

“It’s fine.” Zephyr immediately snapped back, as positively as they could muster. “He just… I’m sure something just came up.”

“Right…”

A few seconds of awkward dead air passed as he tried desperately to find the right thing to say. Pushing the issue any further seemed like it would just upset them more. Moving on entirely also didn’t seem right. He struggled for words, until the notebook they had shoved aside sparked his curiosity.

“What‘s in the notebook?”

“Oh. Nothing important.” Zephyr grabbed it and tried to shove it back under the desk. “Just some notes. Questions and stuff. I don’t really need it here anymore.”

“What kind of questions?”

They stopped short of shoving the notebook out of sight. “Nothing. Just stuff I wanted to ask Mercutio.”

“Like what?”

They met his relentless questioning with a look of surprise. “I don’t know… Asking about his background in the scene, how he got his start, how he opened the club, stuff like that. ” They shrugged and thumbed through the pages again.

“Well.” Nate persisted, determined to turn this around. “What about you?”

Even though he was staring at a TV screen, the confused look they gave felt like it was directed right at him. “What about me?”

“What’s your background in the scene?” Nate repeated the first question back to them.

They scoffed, but a tiny glimmer of a smile shone through. “I promise you, my answer isn't gonna be nearly as interesting as his.”

“I’m interested.” He stood firm. “I’m sure other people watching are too.”

“There’s no one watching,” Zephyr sighed, defeated. “Barely anyone watches anyway, and anyone who was watching tuned out when they realized Mercutio isn’t here.”

“I am. I’m watching,” Nate said, plainly. “And honestly, I couldn’t care less about this Mercutio guy. I want to know about you.”

They breathed out a quiet, skeptical laugh. “Well, you’re the only one. There isn’t much worth knowing.”

“I doubt that. Come on.” Nate doubled down, the smile evident in his voice. “Even if I am the only one, I’m an inquiring mind. How’d you get into this?”

“Fine.” Zephyr rolled their eyes, but they couldn’t hide that little grin anymore. “If you’re that interested.”

“Oh, I am.” He shifted on the couch, settling in. “I’ll turn this into Johnny Carson, right now.”

Zephyr’s real smile and laugh broke through the surface again, and it made Nate giddy. He would be as dumb and silly as possible if it meant he got to see that authenticity shining through.

“Ok, fine. So—” Zephyr began. “I’ve always kind of been around… weird people? Counter-culture people. My mom was a huge hippie. Peace and love, flower power, the whole thing. She helped organize a lot of anti-war demonstrations. There’s all these photos you can find of this tiny Vietnamese 19 year old with flowers painted on her face giving daisies to cops in riot gear. She was the real deal.”

Their face softened a bit, their eyes full of fondness. Maybe a touch of sadness? He couldn’t tell.

“But I was born right in the middle of all that. I was surrounded by it most of my childhood. So my tastes have always been a little, different than the norm? Never had a ton of friends. So when I started high school there was a senior, who worked at the video store I used to go to constantly, and he was way into the scene. He knew about like, weird horror movies and cool British bands that weren’t big here yet and all the underground clubs. I just thought he was so cool. We became friends and he showed me a bunch of music, and I just felt so connected to it, more than any of the stuff on the radio. But he graduated and moved away, I started getting more into it on my own, and here I am now.” Zephyr punctuated their answer with a shrug.

Before Nate could respond, they suddenly shrunk into themself a little more. “So yeah. Got into it in high school. That was probably way more than you wanted to hear.”

“No! Don’t be sorry! I want to hear it all.”

It was true. He could listen to Zephyr talk about anything and everything for days.

“I just feel like it’s such a boring, nothing answer,” Zephyr groaned, embarrassed. “Especially compared to someone like Mercutio.”

“Fuck Mercutio!”

It felt incredible to say it out loud, but the shock on their face told him he may have overstepped.

“I mean, it’s your show. Not his.” Nate continued, trying to run it back a little. “You don’t need him to have a good show. It’s already great without him. With you.”

Zephyr eyes glanced down at the desk. “If you say so”

“Speaking of your show, what made you want to do this? How’d you get started with this?”

“More questions?”

“I told you. Carson. Or Letterman. Oprah, even. I’m flexible.”

Zephyr’s eyes crinkled up, unable to contain their laugh again. The remnants of their tears were long gone already.

It was working.

——————————

“Ok can I ask one more question? It’s for sure not one you had prepared for what’s his name, but I want to know.”

“Sure, we have time for one more, if it’s a quick one.”

“Alright, before I ask, I need you to know that I’m not trying to make fun. I love it, actually. I’m just genuinely curious.”

“Ok...” Zephyr answered cautiously. “Ask away.”

“Again. Genuinely curious,” Nate repeated. “How do you get your hair to look like that?”

Zephyr’s unbridled laughter had become a constant sound for the last half hour. He’d never heard anything more gorgeous. It was so genuine. It felt like the two of them were just having a conversation. No cameras or TVs or phones. It all felt so natural.

“I don’t know what you mean.” They leaned back in their chair, acting as cool as they could manage, apart from a sarcastic little smile. “It just looks like this.”

“Oh, really?” Nate played along. “Did it always look like that? Or did it happen when you started listening to your music?”

“No, it used to be really flat actually. But one day I heard a Siouxsie song and the next morning I just woke up like this.” They gestured to their face. “Makeup too.”

“Wait, if I keep listening to the music you recommended, is that gonna happen to me? Is this some kind of curse you passed along? Like a vampire?”

“I don’t know.” Zephyr smirked, leaning into the camera and whispering. “How do you think we make more goths?”

Nate gasped, dramatically concerned. “Shit… I can feel the transformation starting… I’ve got to go buy some cooler stuff. My Kmart clothes are an embarrassment.”

After yet another bout of uncontrolled laughter, Zephyr dropped the act. “No, but actually it’s just a lot of backcombing, and a ton of Aqua Net. The purple one. That’s really important.”

“Oh, of course, I wouldn’t dream of using another color.”

“They really don’t work as well! I’ve tried.” Zephyr glanced off screen, mid sentence. “Hey, I’m sorry, but my time slot is almost over, I need to wrap it up.”

Nate looked at his own clock. 1:28 AM. They really did cut it close.

“That’s ok! Thanks for answering my questions.” He put on his best Tonight Show voice. “You’ve been a fantastic guest, thanks for coming on.”

“You’re so welcome, Johnny. I’ll come back anytime.” Zephyr grinned at the camera, and it felt like they were looking straight at him. “Thanks for calling, Normal Nate.”

“Anytime.”

The way they could make him feel that warm, floaty, butterflies-in-his-stomach feeling, without even being in the same room was astounding.

“Anytime...” Zephyr repeated, trailing off as if lost in thought for a moment. They quickly came back to their senses, saying rushed final goodbyes, and signing off the air. The screen cut to color bars, and the dial tone rang in his ear.

That was it for another week.

He switched off the TV and hung the phone back on the receiver. At least he made them happy after what that prick did. He hoped they were actually alright. They seemed so upset in the beginning. But he didn’t expect them to want to talk about their feelings live on the air.

He stared at the phone on the end table, and a sliver of a thought appeared.

He shook his head. No. It was late. He didn’t know how public access phone lines operated. It probably wouldn’t work anyway.

He hoisted himself off the couch, stretching out his back, and took a few steps towards bed, but the thought kept nagging him. He turned back towards the phone, tempting him to pick it back up.

“Anytime…”

The word repeated in his head.

He’d never know unless he tried.

He snatched the phone back up and dialed the number again, no visual aid on the TV to help him remember. It started to ring.

And ring.

And ring.

His heart sunk slightly, hopes starting to fade. Then the ringing stopped.

“Hey, sorry, you just missed my time slot.” Zephyr’s voice came through the phone. “You’ll have to call back next week.”

“Zephyr?” Nate asked, already knowing the answer. He was too excited to say anything else.

“Nate?” They sounded confused. But not upset.

“Uh… hi!” He sunk back down onto the couch. “I’m sorry, I hope this is ok, I just— I wanted to— I don’t know—” He suddenly couldn’t find words. It worked. He was talking to them. Privately. No cameras. No audience. Just the two of them.

“No, no, it’s ok!” They interrupted. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“I wasn’t sure it would work, to be honest. I don’t know how phone lines like this work.”

“No, it’s a normal phone line. It’s my own phone line,” Zephyr explained. “We only have one phone? So it’s hooked up to our main phone line most of the time, but I take it and plug it into my own on Thursday nights for the show.”

“Gotcha. Makes sense.” Nate twisted the cord around his finger, still in a bit of disbelief. “If you need to go, I understand, I just wanted to talk to you a little more. Check on you.”

“We can talk more, that’s fine.” Just hearing their voice through the phone without the visual on the TV, felt oddly intimate. “You wanted to check on me?”

“Yeah, I— I wanted to make sure you were actually alright. After, you know. Your guy canceled.” He broached the subject cautiously, trying not to push too hard, too fast. “You just seemed really upset.”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. It’s no big deal.”

They didn’t sound convincing.

“Are you sure?” He asked again. “Because between you and me, I think it was a really shitty thing he did. Canceling so late notice. And not even doing it himself, he got someone else to do it for him.”

“Yeah… It sucks.”

“And saying he had ‘more important things to do?’ After you told him last week you had a family thing, but that wasn’t enough reason not to see him?” Nate continued ranting. “Honestly, I wasn’t kidding when I said fuck that guy.” Nate laughed a little, trying to keep things light hearted.

“Yeah…” Zephyr’s voice came through the phone, quiet and shaky again. “It’s ok though. I halfway figured it would happen…”

“Why? Did he say something before?”

“No. Not really…”

Their voice was even smaller than it was before. It was like the cameras shut off and the real feelings came out.

“Are you ok, Zephyr?”

“Yeah. He’s just…” Zephyr trailed off, pausing before they continued. “He’s not as great as I thought he was.”

Nate’s stomach turned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean— He—“ They stopped themself every time they started a thought.

“It’s ok,” Nate reassured. “I get it. You don’t have to tell me. You hardly know me. But if you want to, I’m here. I’m listening. No TV cameras or anything. Just me.”

The line went quiet except for Zephyr’s soft breathing. A deep breath broke their silence. “I need to tell someone.” They muttered, almost inaudibly. “It’s been eating me alive.”

Nate’s blood ran cold. “What is it?”

“It’s all a little fuzzy, but. Something happened Saturday night.”

( @pinksparkl @phantasmechanical )