#I am so very tired but my sleep playlist is so calm and cozy and i just want to soak it in

[mothymayhem]

Y'know, someday I hope to be perceived as the silliest little guy and to have the silliest lil art style and to build the confidence to post silly lil clown art.

[imjusttpeachy]

the early bird gets the panini (c.h.)

well this is quite the change of pace isn’t it. lmao i figured u guys needed a break from the crying so here’s... whatever this is

thank u all new followers!! u jus made a big mistake💞🦋

u guys should search up “my very real collab with 50 cent” by corpse if you haven’t heard it yet, i ascended the first time i listened lmaoooo

playlist

the wombats - greek tragedy

aminé - heebiejeebies

free nationals - beauty and essex

the marías- let my baby stay

summary: Corpse interrupts the reader’s morning livestream after she left him alone in bed that morning. Fluff and fuckery ensues.

word count: 2, 326

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns, coarse language

>>>

“Okay, Tom Nook is the most bitch-ass motherfucker I’ve ever met. I could fold him like a panini with a slap I swear to god.”

Mornings were definitely one of your favourite times to stream. Of course, you loved staying up into the early hours of the morning only kept awake by the energy drinks running through your veins and the screaming of your friends over your headset, but nothing could beat the sweet simplicity of waking up with your watchers. It was always so calm, your anxiety levels at a low with the small audience building up slowly as more of them woke up. Reading those good morning messages saying that you helped to start their day off on a good foot— nothing would beat that.

The only downside to these scheduled morning streams was having to tear yourself away from the cozy warmth of your bed, especially if there was a certain someone blanketed over you silently persuading you to stay there forever. It was always a rare sight, bruised eyes sealed shut, long eyelashes kissing pale cheeks as small snores escaped from slightly parted lips. Glancing down at the messy black mop that rested on top of your chest, you sighed softly. You knew he’d only been asleep for a few hours, if that, thinking back to the night before where you crawled into bed alone after kissing him goodnight before leaving him to finish editing for his latest video. He worked too hard, but despite you reminding him this every single time he stayed up into the dark hours of the night to finish his work, he always never seemed to be satisfied. Most of the time you were able to coax him from the stuffy confines of his gaming office, bribing him with sweet kisses and promises of cuddles; when he was in the zone, though, nothing could steer his sore eyes away from the monitor. So with a sweet kiss goodnight, you’d make your way to the bedroom, falling asleep to the faint click-clacks of his keyboard.

It was funny how different you were in that aspect. You always loved mornings, the sun shining through the blinds always brought a smile to your face holding the promise of a bright day ahead. It felt good to never be in a rush, to enjoy the still air, and watch the world around you wake up as people settled into their daily routines. The day’s chaos always seemed to leak through into the dark of the night, but in the morning everything felt new and refreshed; the perfect new beginning to another chapter in the story of your life. Though, allowing yourself the guilty pleasure of staying in bed tangled together with your favourite person every so often wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Okay, maybe it was almost every day.

But who could say no when those strong arms encased you so perfectly, holding you so close you couldn’t figure out where you ended and where he started? Who could say no to his warm skin pressed against your own, the weight of his body grounding you as you pulled yourself from the darkness of sleep? Who could say no to being able to study his face up close, running your fingertip ever so lightly along the curve of his jaw, the bridge of his nose, the apples of his cheekbones, watching his eyelids flutter as he stirred softly in his sleep? Who could say no to the pillow talk you shared once those pretty eyes opened, the deep grumble of his morning voice that prickled goosebumps over your skin as he muttered those 3 sweet little words?

Definitely not you.

Well, not often anyway.

Reluctantly pulling your gaze away from the sweet face resting on your chest, you glanced over to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Red numbers reading 9:37 AM that seemed to be glaring back at you pushed any thought of indulging in your morning pleasures straight from your mind. You’d need to be live in 20 minutes. Puffing another sigh from your lips you slowly worked your way out from underneath your personal weighted blanket, trying your best to maneuver him softly onto the pillows to not wake him. Of course, you’d never be that lucky. Hissing through your teeth as your feet hit the icy top of the hardwood floor, you whipped your head around as a warm hand encased your wrist in a loose grip. Beneath messy bed head that could barely be seen from underneath the comforter that you had pulled back on top of him, you see the glimpse of tired eyes clouded with confusion peering out from underneath.

“Angel?” The deep grumble muttered underneath his breath almost made you throw all your plans to the wind and crawl right back into the fluffy clouds you longed to once again get lost in. Huffing out a sigh you slowly turned around, pulling your hand from his grasp only to bury it in the dark locks buried among the pillows. You leaned down softly, pushing your hands through his hair to reveal soft pleading eyes staring back at you, doing nothing but making your heart ache for having to leave so soon. Trancing your thumb along his eyebrow to try and smooth the small furrow that had made its home between them, you sighed softly.

“It’s Thursday, gotta stream puppy.” You watched as a small flash of recognition passed across his bleary eyes, a puff escaping his lips from under the comforter as you watched his chest fall slightly. Pulling his head up from the comforter, you smiled as you felt chapped lips press a small kiss to the inside of your wrist in understanding. Allowing yourself a bit of fun you leaned down pressing your lips to his briefly, giggling softly as a whine escaped his mouth as you pulled away. “Promise I won’t be long, I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me.”

“Too late for that.”

>>>

Smiling as you glanced up at your monitor that held your live chat, you watched as your viewers lost it with your threat to an animated shopkeeper. Times like this are what remind you of how grateful you are to your subscribers, they were practically family at this point and you felt you couldn’t be luckier to have such genuine, warm-hearted people that wanted to watch; even when you were cussing out characters that did nothing to you. You were laughing as you read some of the chat replies out loud when you saw your phone light up with a text from where it was sitting on your desk. Excusing yourself for a moment from the stream you grabbed your phone seeing a message from Corpse. 

Corpsie💞💞: did you order coffee? someone knocked on the door and there’s a paper bag on the step

Cursing to yourself quietly for forgetting, you answered him quickly saying that you just needed to cut to a break on stream and you’d be out in a minute to grab it. He was wary of even opening the front door these days, and honestly, you couldn’t blame him. The last time you had driven out to pick up whatever was sent into his P.O. Box, there were people waiting outside the building. When you went inside to grab everything, you asked the teller what exactly they were waiting for, to which he told you that they were hoping to catch a glimpse of this faceless internet star as this is where he’d go to get his mail. You don’t think you’ve ever walked faster to your car— trying your best to not grab their attention though your body was shaking with adrenaline, knowing they might’ve seen him while he was waiting there for you. Practically throwing open the driver's door, you tossed everything haphazardly into the back seat, telling Corpse to pull up his hood and mask as you started the car and peeled out of there. That was the last time he left the house.

You sighed, dropping your phone back on your desk as well as the switch that had been sitting in your lap, beginning to explain that you needed a quick break to get your coffee and starting to click through the settings to set up your break screen when you saw your phone light up again.

Corpsie💞💞: nah don’t worry i got it

You barely had time to sit back in your chair as you stared at your phone in disbelief before there was a soft knocking on your office door. 

“Just kidding guys, apparently we have a kind guest who’s bringing it to me instead.”

Corpse hearing your voice from behind the door, it swung open to reveal your mop-headed lover sporting his cute plaid pyjama pants and yesterday’s hoodie as he held your coffees and bag in his hand. You grinned to yourself, moving out of the frame of the webcam as you reached out to grab everything, placing it on your desk before turning back to him with a wide smile. Reaching back for his hand, you pulled it down toward you, his body following as your other hand reached up to bury itself in his bedhead. You leaned forward and pressed a small peck onto his lips, mumbling a soft thank you against them as you kissed him once more. While this may have looked like the most simple gesture you knew how difficult it must have been for him, almost wanting to cry at how sweet he was to go to those lengths to do something a little special for you. As you pulled away, you smiled as his face mirrored yours, those soft rosy lips pulled into the sweetest grin you’d ever seen. Resting his forehead against yours, he mumbled back a small “anything for you princess,” the deep rumble of his morning voice sending a chill up your spine as you leaned forward again to steal another sweet kiss. Finally pulling away from you he stood up to his full height, a yawn escaping his mouth; though as he looked back toward the door you could sense his hesitation and grinned widely up at him.

“Do you wanna sit with me for a bit? I can just turn off the camera.” Giggling softly, you watched his head practically whip back toward you nodding a yes as he squeezed your hand, still intertwined with his. Reluctantly pulling it from his grasp, you pulled yourself back toward your monitors as you began to click through your stream settings. 

“Well, your favourite guest has decided to grace us with his presence for a little so I’m gonna have to turn off face-cam, but I don’t think you guys will have a problem with that.” You laughed out, watching as your chat began to surge with messages about him. Making sure there was no way you could accidentally turn on the webcam again, you gestured him over to you starting to stand from your chair to grab the other one sitting in the corner of the office when a hand grasped yours, a strong tug pulling you completely off it with; a small yelp escaped your lips as you fell clumsily into your boyfriend's chest. You could hear his laugh from above you as he maneuvered you around in his arms before falling back onto your chair and pulling you into his lap, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck where you could feel that smug grin that was surely painted on his face. With his arms wrapped around you completely, holding you securely to his chest you knew you weren’t going anywhere. Looking up at the chat a laugh was pulled from your lips as your watchers conspired against you, message after message accusing you of doing something unspeakable behind the camera as being the reason you turned it off.

“Guys, literally nothing is happening.” You laughed out, watching as the chat passed so fast you couldn’t even read a full sentence. “Corpse just decided he wanted to share a chair instead of getting his own.”

“Yeah, my bad.” With no trace of any remorse in his monotone answer, another laugh escaped from your lips. Leaning forward to grab your switch and actually start playing again, you settled back into Corpse’s lap knowing this is exactly where you wanted to be. You were only a few minutes back into the game, Corpse and you occasionally reading out some live chat comments excited about his surprise appearance as viewers slowly climbed— his own watchers joining to watch the stream, when he inevitably started to fuck with you. A chill snaked up your spine as you began to feel small kisses trailing up your neck, you should’ve known this was one of the reasons he wanted to have you in his lap— it was easier to get your attention this way. You could feel that smug little smile drift back onto his face as he heard your voice start to shake slightly; at those moments he’d pull away and start replying to messages before turning back and starting all over again. It was the fourth time he began to press those soft lips to the base of your throat when you shrugged him off and shoved the breakfast sandwich you were snacking on into his face.

“Okay, if you want to share a chair you’re gonna have to behave.”

“Okay, okay. Sorry baby, sorry.” Corpse laughed out, voice muffled from behind the sandwich; taking a bite of it and placing it back in front of you, his chest still shaking with laughter. Deciding to hook his chin over your shoulder instead, he went back to watching the live chat, chatting and answering questions— that is before he came across a certain comment that had him furrowing his brows in confusion.

“What’s this about you folding Tom Nook like a panini?”

>>>

[laurelleghuleh]

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, one-shot

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 6.7k

𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐧: Ao3, Wattpad

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: post-time skip, aged-up characters, implied/referenced sex, sensitive topics(?)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is a kind of “interactive” one-shot. At some point, you’ll find the link for the playlist I’ve created for the story. It’s not mandatory, of course. The songs are mentioned and their lyrics are quoted anyways.

I tried to keep the reader as gender-neutral as possible, I hope it works.

To be honest, I wrote the first half of this one-shot at 3 am after a very deep conversation with a friend of mine about struggling with self-love as “young adults”. It wasn’t meant to be public but I felt like sharing it. I hope this will help or at least cheer you up as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Lastly, italics when Daichi sings/for the lyrics and English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes!

Thanks for reading this, Laurelle.

---------------------------------

Taxes, laundry, rent, bills, grocery shopping, bank accounts, job interviews. These were just some of the things whose thought alone made you already shiver. Adulthood and the multiple responsibilities that had come with it scared the shit out of you, at times it completely fucked up your sleep schedule, and put your sanity at stake, but at least you weren’t alone in this. At least, you had Daichi.

You two had faced college together, one at each other’s side, and now you were again together in that new chapter of your life called adulthood.

By then, you two had been living in that little, yet cozy apartment for a few months. The Karasuno team had lent you a hand by making the move less hard, unpacking boxes and decorating the empty shelves with an unnecessary amount of frames, random objects, and souvenirs from their trips. All of this as Daichi was training at your hometown’s Police Department and as you were trying to find your place in the world, between part-time jobs and “real” job interviews.

The new routine was dull, draining, at times even overwhelming. The closer you were getting to make your dream life come true, the more your daily life felt like a nightmare. The more you felt tired, unmotivated, ultimately empty. And you couldn't help but wonder if that was really worth it anymore.

You started to slowly give up on your hobbies and passions, to spend your free time on the new couch, just spacing out, and to eventually forget about yourself. You didn’t want to sound too pathetic but life seemed to have lost its flavor. At that point, it just tasted like disinfectants and instant noodles.

Those fucking instant noodles … You thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror that evening. None of your planned outfits for that night fitted anymore, none, and at the sudden realization, that familiar smell of instant noodles rose inside your nostrils. But instant noodles weren’t really the point. Your outfits not fitting anymore wasn’t the point either. That you in that mirror was the point. That stranger. That empty shell.

The familiar boomy sound of keys twisting inside the front door’s lock, a click, and Daichi was finally home.

“I’m baaack” You heard him say - almost yell - and then saw him coming inside the kitchen to greet you.

“May I have a kiss?” He shyly asked, placing his hand on the small of your back, drawing little circles to get your attention.

“Sure,” You turned your head for a quick, soft peck on his lips, then got back to your chore.

“Still in your PJs, babe?” He commented, his voice small, clearly weakened by his long, draining day at work.

By that time, you were supposed to be ready to head out, but something in the process went wrong. On the other side of the city, a nice restaurant - highly suggested by Michimiya sometime before - was waiting for you and Daichi to arrive in twenty minutes.

“Yeah… I have to finish cooking these for tomorrow before we head out…” You murmured as your words fell down to the pot beneath you.

That wasn’t a lie, but in all fairness, you were only trying to avoid the truth. Little did you know you were about to experience what living with a future detective really meant.

Besides his professional deformation, when it came to you, Daichi never failed to sense when something was off. Even just from a slight change of your tone. He was so used to your voice that the most insignificant variation of its sound seemed to conceal a tiny, secret message only for him to decipher.

Anyways, you kept looking down, your mind somewhere else, your eyes still lost in the little fog coming from the pot. You still didn’t dare to look at him, which was rather unusual. Strange. Kind of suspicious.

Daichi rocked his head in your direction, trying to find other tangible clues for that particular case he wasn’t expecting to face once at home. Yet nothing was really out of place, except that gloomy aura all around you. Therefore, he decided to just play it cool for the moment and let you be.

Maybe he was overthinking. Maybe he was just being paranoid. The only thing that really mattered was that night to be perfect for both of you.

It wasn’t a special occasion or else, just Daichi’s first free evening after a whole month of night shifts. And in addition to that, that dinner had been meticulously planned the previous week. Nothing could have ruined it. Nothing.

Yeah, he was just being paranoid, for sure. Nothing to worry about.

Daichi moved away from you and walked towards the front door again. Then, he plugged his phone on the little speaker at the entrance and played the playlist you two loved to blast whenever you were at home, cleaning the house, or just swinging from a room to another.

And that was when everything got even more suspicious in Daichi’s perspective.

The first song came on (“Come Through and Chill” by Miguel, J.Cole, Salaam Remi ), the little bass drums slowly filling the room, vibrating from wall to wall, gradually reaching your feet through that old wooden pavement. And yet, you stayed completely still.

Suspicious .

“Everything ok?” He casually asked you from a distance, putting the phone back down on top of the speaker.

“Yeah, good, good. You?” You mumbled, trying to hide your words under the rhythm.

Even more suspicious .

It wasn’t only your voice, but your posture, your face, just your aura that seemed so… Different. Even though you two hadn’t been living together for long at that point, he could simply tell what looked ordinary and what not. You knew each other and dated since college, which at that point meant years of studying the other up close, not only as partners but firstly - and mainly -  as friends. Two best friends always looking out for one another. Those had been years of sincere trust and affection.

Funny thing was that neither of you could imagine that a casual encounter in a cafè would have taken that turn. But Suga knew. And Asahi too. Everybody knew, except you two.

One morning, the vending machine of your department was out of order, and that was just the tenth curveball of that day. It’s not even thirty past eight and I already want to go back to sleep , you sighed, walking outside the campus, looking for a cafè or something.

As fate would have it, the tiny, little-known coffee shop you found right behind the corner was Asahi’s workplace, which brought both Suga and Daichi to have their breakfast there every single morning.

Your first time there, your order was mistaken with Daichi’s, one thing led to another, and after a while, you two started hanging out frequently. Then even more consistently. Then no Asahi or Suga around. No coffee shop. Study sessions at his place. Then at your place. A movie night that actually looked and felt like a proper date. And eventually, that friendship blossomed into something else, something pretty serious.

You didn’t even realize when or how that happened, it just felt right. You two didn’t even have a real “date” for when your relationship had begun. For the sake of simplicity, you both used to count from your first kiss, both aware that whatever you two shared had started even before that, even that morning in that tiny, little-known coffee shop.

That was the type of love that comes easily, without warning, silently tiptoeing into your life.

Back in your apartment, once freed from his jacket, Daichi made again his appearance at your side, now wearing a playful look and about to hit his favorite line of the lyrics. He almost made you startle.

“Hello, stranger… It's been a minute since we last kicked it” He sang and swung around you, positioning himself right behind you to wrap you in a warm hug. Then, gingerly nestling his head in the curve of your neck, he breathed against your skin, “Now that I’m home, I’m all good… ”

Bear hugs were Daichi’s thing and also your not-so-secret Achilles’ heel, for sure. So, you just leaned in his embrace and welcomed his familiar, calming scent. But still, you didn’t have the courage to face him.

Very, very suspicious .

Your oddly detached behaviors made his brow pinch and his mind wander as he left soft pecks all over your jaw and neck. No reaction , Daichi thought, taking mental notes of your actions.

At that point, he gave you one last, gentle kiss, this time on your shoulder, right where the hem of your shirt met your skin, and then silently made a step back. Daichi’s first thought was to temporarily let you be. A quick shower and a change of clothes were very much needed after that long day. He thought he still got time to unravel your mood.

Still focused on the pot, you heard him tell you, before disappearing in your bedroom, “I’ve been thinking about tonight all day, love. I literally can’t wait to try this restaurant!”

You felt a knot in your stomach.

Why was it so hard for you to simply tell him? To simply put into words how you felt? You knew he would have understood, you knew how sensitive Daichi was, especially when it came to you. But to look so needy, so lost in his eyes made you feel just weak. Not vulnerable, not emotional, just a weak person in need. And the last thing you wanted was to look or feel like a burden to Daichi. You knew how stressed and overworked he was. That was a pretty tough period for you both and you felt like you had no right to complain. Daichi never did, and all you wanted was to be as strong as he was.

It didn’t take much for Daichi to be ready, all cleaned up and dressed for the occasion. Nothing too elegant or pretentious, he was a very casual type of guy even when it came to clothes, but that was still your night. A little more effort won’t hurt , he thought as he picked his outfit, preferring a classic, white, button-up shirt to his favorite sweater - his safe choice whenever he didn’t know what to wear.

He just wanted to look good that night, to look good for your eyes only.

Right when “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee started, Daichi’s unmistakable cologne stood above the food’s thick smell coming from the pot. You immediately turned around.

He looked handsome, as always. The view made your belly twitch again.

“Hey hon, remember that time we went to see Spiderman with Suga, Asahi, and Kyoko?” He started to speak, crossing the room with slow strides in your direction.

“You fell in love with this song on the spot. Oh my god, I think you blasted it in the car at least ten times on our way back...” He said wrapping his arms around your waist again, making you turn and trying to initiate a slow dance with you.

“I know you’re scared of the unknown, you don’t wanna be alone” He sang, “I know I always come and go,” The lyrics hitting way too close to home, “But it’s out of my control”

At that point, he held you tight, roaming his big, callous hands all over your back as he glanced at the pot from above your shoulder.

“That looks delicious, babe. Can’t wait to eat it tomorrow. I just know it tastes as good as it looks…”

There he was again, being all supportive and loving no matter what. So damn cheesy, he could have made someone sick. But not you.

You weren’t much of a chef yourself and you knew it, but you tried your best. And Daichi appreciated it a lot. He was so proud of you, always so blindly proud. He was undoubtedly a better chef than you were, but he still left you space to experiment and try out new things.

You never thought you could enjoy cooking that much, but probably Daichi being a foodie played a role in that. A foodie, well, possibly the biggest foodie you knew. The thought alone of food could make him insane, let’s say slightly irrational like he wasn’t functioning normally.

That was at the beginning when you both had all the time in the world to even plan a food competition and invite all your friends over to eat and vote for your plates. In the beginning, when that apartment’s walls were still white and bare, when the only furniture you owned was an old red couch and several boxes with all your things still packed inside. In the beginning, when there were way fewer things to care about in your daily routine.

“It’s ready, I guess. I should turn off the stove… ” You mumbled against his chest, then turned around still sweetly trapped in his embrace.

“Then you’re left in the dust… mhmhIdon’trememberthewordsmm” He kept singing behind your back, “ You’re the sunflower, I think your love would be too-”

When the little flame disappeared under the pot, a sharp sigh accidentally left your mouth.

“Daichi…” You breathed, squeezing his right hand still gently pressed on your belly.

Daichi .

You rarely called him by his first name. You’d usually go with “love” or “babe” or whatever sweet name came into your mind at that specific moment. Daichi . “Daichi” was something like a safeword, a code for “I’m dead serious right now”, “Your mum is calling” or, like this time, “Something is wrong”.

At that signal, the Karasuno’s former captain knew exactly what to do as if a ball had just flown past an invisible volleyball net right in front of him. That was just the confirmation he needed to make his move.

Living together, making a long-term relationship works, sticking together regardless, all of these for you both were based on the little things you started to learn about one another. Most of the time failing but never giving up on the other person. And this, this was one of those “little things”.

Daichi .

Wordlessly, he went straight to his phone and turned down the music at its lowest, the songs just a light, almost unperceivable background. You turned in his direction, watching him attentively, in silence, until he beckoned you to follow him.

You did as told and walked with him towards the living room, where he guided you to sit on the couch, your right hand gently secured in his.

He sat down on his heels, right in front of you, and waited, waited for you to say something, giving you all the time you needed to process your thoughts.

Minutes passed, the music still softly playing in the background.

Spendin' all my nights alone, waitin' for you to call me

You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

I know it's hard but we need each other

(“SUGAR” by BROCKHAMPTON)

When you lifted your gaze to meet his sweet eyes, like two big, dark chocolate nuggets, you still didn’t know what to say. Automatically, his lips parted to catch your attention.

“Love,” His voice so tender it literally broke your heart to keep that facade any longer.

Your lips puckered, your nostrils widened, your eyes got unexpectedly watery until the first of many tears started to run down your face. When your head fell forwards, hiding between your hands, Daichi immediately got you. His arms circled your frame, welcoming you against his chest as you kept weeping noisily.

Daichi stayed silent, his head pressed against your shoulder, moving in sync with each of your sobs.

“Let it out, babe, don’t hold it back.”

At those words, your weeps only seemed to get worse to the point you didn’t know anymore why you were crying in the first place. Maybe you just needed to let it out, to rest, and let yourself get lost in Daichi’s embrace. His warmth felt like home and it was so comforting that after a while you finally cooled down. Nothing was wrong anymore, you were safe and sound.

“When you’re ready, I’m here to listen.” He whispered.

You nodded against his skin, then drew back, revealing your puffed and reddish face. He immediately stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Once back, he kneeled again in front of you and handed you tissues and a glass of water.

“Thanks,” You murmured and then blew your nose.

Daichi just stared at you, his eyes wandering all over your figure as you shrugged and sighed. You opened your mouth only to close it a second later. You didn’t even know where to start. Your bottom lip quivered, you felt like you’re about to cry again.

“What’s going on, love?” His voice small and tender.

You sighed again and gave a quick look to the clock behind him. It was almost time to leave. Actually, at that point, you were already late. Your eyes found his again and a thought occurred to you. He looked so happy until a moment before, singing and dancing, all dressed up, ready to leave and try that restaurant. But now there he was, all worried for you, down on his knees, not caring if that position was messing and creasing his shirt.

“It’s really nothing. Just had a bad day. I should go get-” You tried to stand up, but Daichi’s hands stopped you right there, pinning you down again.

“Are you sure, that’s just it?”

You couldn’t physically bring yourself to lie to Daichi. Not even for the smallest things. Not even for a white lie.

“To be honest, I don’t really feel like going out tonight…”

His eyebrows twitched. First clue unlocked.

“That’s fine. Let me just give them a call-”

“No, no. There’s no need. We should go anyway. It’s really nothing.”

Daichi was never really fond of you being difficult, he’d rather prefer you being straightforward. But sometimes, your pride overtook you. Nevertheless, that was not the right time to point out you were being too stubborn, so he just reassured you, saying,

“Listen, it’s up to you, babe. Your wish is my command, you know that, right?”

Daichi was always so kind. From time to time, you even believed he was way too good for you. Too good, it’s almost unfair , you thought.

“Really, it’s nothing… I’ve been thinking about tonight all day too. I couldn’t wait to finally spend some time with you…”

He giggled, your sweet tone instantly reassured him, “You know we can always stay at home and just watch a movie, right? Just tell me if you don’t feel like going out and I’ll call the restaurant right away.”

“Well, it’s not that… I… I…” You sighed. You really were being too difficult that time. “To be honest, I don’t know what-” Your voice cracked, “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Daichi leaned closer and kissed your forehead, then stood up and grabbed his phone. From a distance you clearly heard him talk to someone, apologizing and saying something else you didn’t quite catch. The restaurant , you thought. You instantly walked towards him and tried to oppose, but Daichi politely hushed you and just hung up.

“Why did you do that?” You asked him.

“Cause it seems like you can’t decide right now. The restaurant can wait, really, but whatever is going on with you cannot. And now, if you want to tell me more about it I’m here, if not I’ll just let you be, or if-”

You grabbed his hands, stopping him. Your head swung from side to side as you collected your thoughts.

“It’s just that… I don’t know where to start.” You said and plopped yourself down on the couch.

He softly asked you when that started, if you remembered what little event had possibly triggered your current mood, and suddenly the right words found their way out of your mouth.

It had just been one of those everything-goes-wrong kinds of days, no rest, and too many things to do that eventually you found yourself already in front of the closet without even realizing it. Your eyes were drained and unfocused after all those hours in front of your laptop, working, sending emails, and stuff like that. Your stomach was aching and bloating after eating the previous night’s leftovers. Your legs were sore. Your mind was blank, empty, and at the same time also full of imprecise thoughts about work, what you needed to do before heading out, the dinner, the clothes, that mirror right in front of you.

You described to him this confused overwhelming sensation you had been experiencing for the previous months and all along Daichi was carefully listening to you, nodding and humming. From time to time he tried to comfort you, saying that it was quite understandable since you both started a new, complicated chapter of your lives since there were so many things to be settled and done, etc. He even apologized if he had accidentally neglected you in some way. He was so stressed and focused on work, he barely noticed what was going on with you. But you didn’t seem to listen to his words. Every single time you just replied with the same anxious thoughts you had already said before.

At some point, Daichi interrupted you, saying, “Babe, look at me and be honest,” then grabbed your hands and looked straight into your still reddish eyes, “Do you want me to listen … Or do you want some advice ?”

That was a thing Daichi had learned with time, not only from you but also from his experience as a captain. Sometimes people just need to vent, some other times to be taken by the hand and helped, but there are also other times when people may even need both.

You sighed. “Both I guess?”

He hummed and kept listening at other incoherent stuff you mumbled next about yourself, your image, your perception of yourself, “And that damn outfit! I’ve been thinking about it all day! It was my only option and it didn’t work! I looked terrible, I could barely stand my reflection in the mirror… Why do I have to feel so miserable about a damn outfit?! And then I put my PJ back on and I thought I looked like a fucking cartoon! I wanted to hide under a blanket and just disappear… I must sound delusional right now…”

New clues unlocked.

“No, absolutely, you’re not delusional, love. But... Let me ask you this. What is really bothering you? How you look or how you feel ?”

You tilted your head and pondered his question. At that moment you realized you had never thought about it that way before. How I look or how I feel… , you kept thinking for a while.

However, you still weren’t able to unravel that truth, therefore you just kept rumbling about those stupid clothes not fitting you anymore for another solid couple of minutes.

Daichi chuckled.

“That just means you need to do more shopping, babe,” He pointed out and leaned in to pepper your neck with soft kisses. You couldn’t help but giggle as his kisses alternated with random names of your favorite shops where you two could have gone to the next day to buy something. But eventually, you lightly pushed him away, not because you really wanted to but... Something wasn’t still quite right and you didn’t know what it was. That made you feel ultimately uneasy.

Daichi drew back on his heels, his hands still on your sides, sweetly caressing your hips. He stayed there and just contemplated you as your mind spun around and other vague thoughts piled up in your head.

“So, is there something else?” He softly asked.

“I guess so… It’s not about the clothes. I think it’s me. I look so different and I feel so different, I can barely recognize myself.”

“Love, you have so many things to do, I know it’s hard to find time for you to eat clean or be active. Maybe I should propose less pizza and stuff—”

“No, no, babe, it’s not you... I just feel awful about myself.”

“You feel , but you’re definitely not. I guarantee you that.” Daichi immediately comforted you.

“You know the saying, love is blind…” You tried to joke around.

“It sure is. I could love you with my eyes closed, but even with my eyes wide open, I can’t see anything wrong with you.”

Daichi’s love confessions were sappy at their core, but his voice was always so direct and honest they always sounded like facts. And they never failed to catch you off guard. Daichi used to be shy and awkward in the beginning of your relationship. He was constantly blushing hard and messing with his sentences whenever it came to talk to you. However, with time, his affection and ways started to be so sincere and straightforward you didn’t even know how to contradict him or how to even say anything back.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes…” His tone suddenly painted with melancholy, “Then you could see how beautiful you are, how precious, how…” He felt it too. He felt he was getting too emotional, so he tried to take the edge off, coming back to his goofy side. “No, no. Rewind. You might end up dumping me. Nah nah, not gonna happen!” He muffled, hiding his head against your belly, curling up with his torso over your lap.

You couldn’t help but laugh. You loved him so much.

“Jokes aside,” He said, lifting his head and looking up at you. “Tell me, babe, is this really such a big deal? Because if it bothers you to this point, you should think about it more carefully... Can I help you in some way?”

“Honestly, I-I don’t know how you could help me,” You confessed, “I feel like I’m not taking care of myself, but I also lack motivation to actually do something about it. It’s a dog chasing its own tail, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it… Well, I could encourage you, first. But then I could also help you and try to do things with you, like…” He thought about it for a couple of seconds. “What if I call Tanaka? He's a personal trainer but he also knows a lot about nutrition. He may suggest something delicious but fast and healthy for us to cook. It could be beneficial for both of us. We have been literally eating our stress away recently. You know what, I feel bloated too…” Daichi added and then proceeded to touch his tummy.

You lightly pushed him again and started to shower him with compliments. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that Daichi could ever possibly be insecure about himself. He was… Daichi. He was just perfect.

He smirked at your reaction and got closer to shut your mouth with a sudden, deep kiss.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He whispered, just an inch away from your lips.

“Sure, what is it?” You said almost laughing. A secret?

“Ok, look at my pants,” Daichi said, drawing back until he stood up, right in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m looking at them and they look really good on you-” You started to say and tried to make him spin around to point out how good he looked in those dark pants. That was actually your favorite pair, you loved the way they highlighted his muscular legs, how- But he stopped you right there.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok, thanks, but have you noticed that I’m not wearing any belt? And actually haven’t worn one in a while?”

You frowned. Where is he getting at?

“And you know why? I don’t really need one anymore. These pants stay up regardless,” Daichi confessed, giggling, “What I mean is… Look, you still like how they fit me. I still like how they fit me. I just know that you would like them even in another size. I would like them as well.”

You just stared at him, quietly pondering his words.

“Anyways, the pants are not the real point. These are just pants. Those things that didn’t fit you aren’t the real point either. You see what I’m trying to tell you?”

You did. You got what he meant, but you were still doubting yourself somehow. Because, in your mind, not fitting your old clothes was just the result of something that slipped out of your hands as you struggled to take care of anything else, except yourself. It wasn’t about your weight or the clothes, it was about losing track of yourself in the process.

“You think I’m perfect while I may, well, I am certainly not. Same goes for you. None of us is perfect, never been, never will. We are just us,” He got closer and sweetly brushed your hair behind your ears, “But for me, in my eyes, you are. And apparently, I’m too in yours. And that’s all that matters.”

Again, just straight facts.

Also, whenever he gave you one of his motivational speeches, he really looked like a captain. You could vividly picture the scene in your head, his teammates carefully listening to him, hanging off his words, right before an important match or even just a regular training session.

“I know it’s extremely cheesy to hear, but it’s also the truth. You’re perfect just the way you are and you’ll always be to me…” His voice small as he kneeled again in front of you. “Even now. Even if you feel lost. The you you’re looking for is still there, it’s not going anywhere. You just need some time and patience to find yourself again.”

You immediately cupped his face, about to tell him something, but before you could spell a single word, he whispered,

“But… But if this is a problem, something you want to change or improve, something you need some help with, then let’s do it, let’s do it together. No. Better. Let’s do it right now!”

Daichi immediately stood up and ran back to the kitchen, where you used to keep your little notebook. Once back, armed with a pen and unmovable willpower, he sat down again and opened the agenda on your lap. Going through your schedule, he noticed how packed it was, pages and pages filled with appointments and notes, but that didn’t scare him.

“Mmm… So, here’s the plan. Our lunch breaks on Monday and Friday look pretty long. We could… Meet at the park. You know, the one right after the supermarket, down the street-”

You nodded, showing him you were following him.

“We could jog a little and then eat something together! That way we’d see each other, have some fun and do something good for our health too… I know jogging doesn’t actually sound much fun, but I swear we’ll have a good time, babe. What do you think?”

Your lips curled upwards into a soft, little half-moon. You couldn’t say no to that.

“Sounds like a plan…” You simply commented.

He looked relieved and then added, “Also, remember that lunch at my mum’s next Sunday? Why don’t we just skip it and go somewhere fancy, like a spa-”

“But we promised-” You tried to object.

“Babe, I know, I know, but we can go some other time. She’ll understand.”

“Okay…”

“It’ll be beneficial for both of us, for real. To be honest, I think I’m this close to a breakdown too,” He laughed.

“You’re right, we should definitely go… You know, I was also thinking about joining some sort of club. I feel like I don't have a hobby or a passion anymore. It’s always work, work, work, the apartment, work, work, work. I feel so… Arid? Mentally. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah… Me too, I was thinking the same exact thing this morning actually… Maybe I should join a volleyball team again. Nothing serious but like a team to play with, just once in a while-”

Your eyes widened, “Oh God! Yes! Absolutely! You should definitely do that, love!”

Daichi nervously chuckled. He wasn’t expecting such an enthusiastic and energetic reaction from you, not after having seen you so blue and distant since he had come back home.

You loved seeing him playing volleyball. You still remembered vividly the times you used to sneak a peek at his practice and matches during college. The first time you saw him playing, all sweat and absorbed in the game, you did a double-take. He looked so hot.

“Alrighty, I’ll definitely think about it… Don’t worry, love, we’ll figure something out.”

“As we always did…” You added, shyly smiling at him.

That situation made you wonder. Life could be hard at times, but if you had the right people around you to rely on, to fight with, or simply talk to, it didn’t seem like that tough anymore.

“Yeah…” He smiled back and instinctively leaned forward to hug you tightly as you welcomed his frame against your chest.

After a few silent minutes, you muffled against his shoulder, “Thank you… I don’t even know how to tell you how thankful I am right now… ”

And in all fairness, there wasn’t much else to add.

“You could start by being less hard on yourself, love,” Daichi said, still pressed against you, “You’re doing so great…”

“You’re way too good to me.” You murmured back, your voice slightly above a whisper.

At your words, he brushed his head from side to side against your shoulder, silently disagreeing with your affirmation. He was just as good to you as you deserved.

Right at that moment, “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar and H.E.R. came on and Daichi thought that there couldn't have been a better time than that for that specific song to start.

He drew back from your hug and guided you to stand up with him, then walked backward to reach the center of the living room, his eyes still fixed on you.

“Siri, turn up the volume!” He ordered his phone to do as he took you in his arms.

You simply stared at him and followed his actions, like a puppet under his spell. His arms welcomed your figure and your fingers locked, your two bodies perfectly molded one against the other as you slow-danced to the rhythm, allowing yourself to utterly enjoy that moment.

A strange feeling warmed your belly, like an overwhelming wave of happiness was overtaking all your senses. Your mouth instinctively opened to shower Daichi with random compliments, words of gratitude, and all sorts of sweet nothings. He loved to be praised by you but after a while he tried to playfully hush you, holding you even tighter and whispered next to your ear a line of that song that seemed to be written right for you. Better, right for him to sing it for you.

“I just wanna see how beautiful you are, you know that I see it, I know you're a star.  Where you go I follow, no matter how far. If life is a movie, oh you're the best part…”

The music eventually faded and an hour later you and Daichi were once again in your bed, curled up in your sheets, as you leafed through Netflix’s catalog, fruitlessly. In the end, you just end up cuddling and ultimately dozing off. Nothing special had happened that night, but you felt so restored, at peace, as if everything was completely fine again.

When you woke up the morning after, Daichi was already gone. You were used to this too. No night shifts meant early shifts. But this also had its perks, like the tiny heart-shaped post-it notes he liked to leave in the bathroom for you to read them as you washed your face or brushed your teeth. The breakfast? Ready on the kitchen counter, another post-it note on top of it. And then another one, on the front door, “I can’t wait to see you at lunch <3”

At noon, you two met up at the park as planned. A little warm-up under Daichi’s careful instructions and then you were ready to start. Just a casual jog, nothing too demanding, as you enjoyed the fresh air and the good company of that day.

During the whole run, Daichi kept encouraging you like a real captain and a loyal partner would do, saying that you were doing great, that you looked very good in those leggings, that you were half done at that point, and then that you could do it, you were almost at the end at that point.

“The last lap, babe! We’re almost done!” Daichi shouted, turned his head in your direction, and gave you a wide, shining smile.

“I-I think I’m done for today…” You panted as you struggled to keep up with his pace.

“Six more minutes and we’re done! C’mon! Don’t give up!” He incited but you soon waved the white flag, signaling him your surrender.

Daichi halted and got closer to you. A strange, gloomy aura suddenly spread all around him. A mischievous grin appeared on his face right when he whispered, an inch away from your sweaty face,

“Quitters don’t get their prize, you know that?”

Your breath almost failed you, when you told him, “Yeah, yeah, you can eat my lunch, I don’t want it anymore…”

But apparently, Daichi had another prize in his mind, another type of meal .

“Mmmh, that’s not the reward I was planning to give you…” His voice sounded dangerously seductive for the location you two were at the moment. Your eyes widened at the sudden realization.

His hands slowly roamed from your hands to your shoulders, then cupped your cheeks. His tone got back to normal when he playfully squeezed your face and said, “Six minutes!”

Six minutes passed and the jog was finally over. A little picnic at the park, a quick shower together at home, and then you were good to go. Your afternoon’s tasks awaited you.

That evening Tanaka and Kyoko joined you for dinner. They were both more than happy to give you some advice, to recommend easy and healthy recipes, and to see how the apartment had changed since their last visit.

Later that night, you and Daichi were again in your bed, tired but definitely satisfied. Your back was pressed against his broad chest, your body secured in his warm embrace, your thoughts were quiet, both your body and mind at peace.

You had worked, you had jogged, you had had some fun with Daichi at the park, you had also found some time to finish that book you had forgotten on your desk. Well, actually, Daichi had been texting you during the whole afternoon to remind you to take some breaks from time to time, to have a snack or read something. The dinner with Tanaka and Kyoko had cheered you up more than planned and that full, yet satisfying day was finally over.

You were still lost in your thoughts when you felt Daichi snuggle up, holding you even tighter than before. His left arm was wrapped around your figure while the right one was on top of yours, his fingers gently rubbing your hand, then your wrist and forearm, drawing imaginary patterns all over your skin. As he got closer, ultimately closing that tiny gap between you two, his head found the crook of your neck and gently nestled in it. Then he asked you, his voice hoarse with weariness,

“So? About the jog, did you like it?”

“Weeeell, let’s say that I liked it but mainly because we did it together.” You confessed, “Would I do it alone? I don’t know… Maybe?”

“Fair enough,” He replied and placed a sloppy kiss on your shoulder, his fingers still loosely tracing your arm. Then there was silence, the room was from time to time filled only with the muffled sound of those soft pecks he kept on leaving on your skin.

“You know,” Daichi whispered at some point, between a kiss and another, “Jogging is not the only option…” He paused to clear his throat, “There are other types of activities that we could do…” Another kiss, his breath warm against your neck, his tone husky with desire when he added, “That we could do indoor…”

[moonlightstars16]

Caring and Comfort

I want to thank @ponpasta for allowing me to write this one-shot biased of a beautiful piece of SU artwork. Created by said talented and skilled artist. I hope you’ll enjoy! ;) Here is the link to the fanart:

https://ponpasta.tumblr.com/post/617447303584825344/mods-are-asleep-hurry-post-nap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was setting on another beautiful day on Beach City. Some spent there days relax and enjoying the weekend. Some traveled, others shopped and most just took an extra hour or five to sleep in.

But not for Connie

Cram school was becoming more and more like a job. But she wasn’t going to give-up just because it got harder. She was a straight A student. Earning nothing less than that within her entire education so far. Was she pressured to be ‘perfect’?

Her parents knew she was a hard worker, always supporting and telling her it was okay to just do her best. So not by them. The school emphasized the importance of an education but gave even failing students the benefit of the doubt (to an extent but still). Not there either.

Connie wasn’t pressured by anyone or by anything to be a perfect student. She pressured herself. Why? Well she loved the praise she received when doing a great job. Plus colleges were more open to those who have good grades. She wanted to get into a good one. Jay Hawk university was a tough college to get into. Surely they wouldn’t expect anything less than perfection, right? And she certainly wasn’t going to allow one bad grade on her record.

So she worked herself to the bone. Dark circles under her eyes, Coffee nearby and loads of school work piled up around her. She did take her time to learn and absorb any new information correctly. Reviewing old info over and over as not to forget.

Then exams came around.

Tests were one thing. A simple full day reviewing and getting a jump start of the new material was easy. Exams? ... All hell broke loose. Her room was too small for all the extra desk space. The kitchen in her house had horrible lighting. The living room was too susceptible and cozy for her to loose focus easily. Heck, even the Buddy Budwick library had to many other students crammed in there to study. What she needed was a new place.

A certain beach house by the other side of a cliff.

Now it was stereotypical that girlfriends and boyfriends distracted each other when a certain test came up. However Steven knew how important school was for Connie. A new environment to study in was quite refreshing. So he agreed to let her study at his place. The waves were calming, the gems away on a Little Homeschool field trip and he was alone. It was a good setting for her to focus, from what he had looked up on the internet.

He cleared the table, made snacks and refreshments, a pillow for her to sit on in case the chair grew uncomfortable and even made a playlist for her to listen too. He even had bought extra paper, pens/mechanical pencils, erasers, highlighters and sticky notes just in case. Soon Connie had arrived and was walking up the front door steps. Note cards in hand, pushing them into her pockets.

“Hi Connie, come on in.” Steven held the door wide open for her.

“Hi Steven, thank you so much for letting me study here.” Connie paused and gasped with a blush as she saw the array of snacks and study supplies on the table. “You did all this for me?”

“Of course, I know this is a stressful time for you. So I wanted to make sure you were prepared.” Steven ran a hand behind the back of his head whilst explaining to her. Watching as she smiled brightly and set her bag down. Throwing herself in his embrace as her arms wrapped around his neck. Pecking his lips a couple of times with gratitude.

“I can’t thank you enough!” A second later she was pulling out her laptop, books, notes she had taken, etc. Steven chuckled at the sight and sighed. Looking at her while she set up her workspace. Then walking over as she sat down, cradling her cheek and turned her gently(with permission) so her eyes were on him; placing a gentle kiss on her lips briefly. 

“I’ll be upstairs if you need anything. Take all the time you need.” With another peck on her cheek he walked upstairs and began to play some old video games. Taking some much needed “me-time” for himself. Connie instantly began her work. Starting with what she was going over while on her way here.

Hours had passed. Steven only went down once to get a drink, some snacks himself and to use the bathroom. Making sure to be quiet as Connie seemed to be in her own private world. He adored her perseverance, yet hated to see her over-working herself. Some of her behaviors were almost identical to his own when he ran Little Homeschool. It took a snow day with his family, and a good heart to heart, to remind himself to slow down and relax.

Still he didn’t want to break her concentration. This was her exams she was studying for after all. However he didn’t want the matter to slide. So he began to plan out a day for the two of them to relax and enjoy the day. No school, no work, just fun times like they did years ago. Once back upstairs he took out an old journal and began to write a few ideas for what they would do together.

By the time Steven was done, it was around seven o’clock in the evening. It seemed like a good idea to check on how she was doing. Ordering their favorite pizza was another good idea. However what he saw downstairs surprised him. Connie had her arms folded on the table and her head rested on top. Face hidden in her notes.

Reaching out he placed his hand on her shoulder. Only to be met with her head jerking up and a face covered in tears. Eyes swollen red and a bit puffy. It broke his heart to see her like this. Pulling up a chair to sit beside her using his thumb to brush away her tears.

“Connie, what’s wrong?”

“I-I can’t seem t-to retain aany m-more i-i-information!” She sniffed closing her eyes, head bowing in shame as Steven pulled her close. Her head on his shoulder her arms drooping to the floor. One hand on her waist, the other stroking her hair as he felt how much her entire body ached.

“It’s okay Connie, you learned a lot and I know you can pass this exam.”

“No! I need to learn everything! I have to get an A on this exam and be perfect! I have to be prefect!” By the time she had begun venting, fresh, hot tears fell as her arms clutched onto the front of his infamous black and yellow star shirt.

“What do you mean ‘you have to be perfect’? You don’t have to be anyone but yourself Connie.”

“I’ll be a failure!....I don’t-.... I can’t-... I’m so scared Steven! What if I get rejected by Jay Hawk?! What if I don’t get into a good college?! What am I going to do if that happens?! ....I....I don’t want to fail Steven....I can’t afford to fail...” With every claim and question that came from her lips, he only held her tighter.

This was his beloved Connie. His best friend, his teammate, his jam bud. It was only natural for her to feel this way. But hearing it from her right now broke his heart in pieces like a shattered gem. With determination in his heart, he kissed the top of her head before responding.

“Shh.... listen to me Connie. I know you are a very intelligent woman. You can get those A’s because you have applied herself a lot more than anyone I’ve ever seen. However you do not need to be perfect to be who you are. If Jay Hawk rejects you, then it’s there loss. There are so many colleges out there who would love to have you as their student.

Connie, Garnet may know the future, but even she has trouble seeing unforeseen possibilities. It’s okay to be scared, but it’s even better to know you have people like your parents, friends, the gems, my dad, myself and many others. We are here for you like you were here for me. I’m going to do the same thing for you.”

“Will you still love me?” Her voice was so quiet yet he smiled and rested his head on top of hers.

“Of course, silly. I will always love you no matter what. Even if you over work yourself.” He smiled more upon hearing her faint giggling, soon followed by a yawn.

“I love you, Steven...” She yawned again. “I’m so...tired.” With another yawn coming out, Steven picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Humming a gentle tune, lulling her to sleep. It didn’t take long for her to begin falling asleep. In fact it was the quickest time he ever saw her doing so. They had so much more to talk about but for now, sleep was more important.

Once in his room he slid himself and her in the bed. Pulling the comforter over them both. Watching as she snuggled into his chest. Himself running his hand through her soft curls. Ending his sweet and serene lullaby for her. Whispering one last thing to her. One phrase he will continue to say forever.

“I love you too, my beloved Connie.”

[jawnjendes]

i don’t know why | shawn mendes

university au a totally perfect summer babey, shawn x goth gf

AN: u know how life imitates art or vice versa???? yeah sometimes i hate that. anyway i thought i was gonna slow down with updates but i had one (1) free day before i move (tomorrow) so here is this do with her what you will

******let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters

masterlist | playlist

In the past, if there was ever a time I could trade 120°F weather for literally anything else, I would have taken it. I would have given anything to stay in Toronto over the summer if it meant I wouldn’t experience heat exhaustion from the moment I stepped outside. I would sell intense SoCal weather to Satan for a single cornchip.

It’s halfway through May, and I still wore a long sleeve and jeans when I went out. It rained sometimes, and when it didn’t, it was cloudy. I could appreciate the coziness that accompanied the weather, but for the time of year, it was also putting me into a weird headspace. I couldn’t shake the feeling of my body unconsciously waiting for sweltering, dry desert heat. I was supposed to be in shorts and a tanktop in my hometown, and Shawn was supposed to be there with me. We were both supposed to be facing the chaos that was my extended family.

On top of that, I was hating having to go to the dealership five times a week. That was all I had going for me now that school was out. I didn’t even work five days during the semester. I never worked in the summer at all in the last few years, and again, I was wearing sweaters in May.

On the bright side, Shawn went to his first therapy session, and it went well for him. Said he had a breakthrough, and ways to combat the night terrors, but he had more that night anyway. I had to time when his body would start twitching, and then wake him up 15 minutes prior. It worked well, and it brought some relief to us and our sleep. I was just glad he was finally doing something about all of this, even if he was still reluctant to talk to me about it.

Sometimes, we were on different wavelengths. Shawn was in the process of getting his perkiness back, and it showed when my pessimism was out and about. There was a balance of light and dark between us, and today Shawn had all of the light.

I decided to go barefaced today. I felt the need to not hide how tired and done I was with the world and its bullshit. My eyebrows were incredibly sparse, and the under eye bags were just a little sunken in. While I was eating solid food again, I was lacking in other nutrients, therefore I was still dropping weight. Why hide it, right?

Shawn just had to point out that I was not wearing makeup, and I just had to take it the wrong way.

“I can’t look pretty all the time,” I snapped.

“But you do look pretty all the time,” he replied, unfazed.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the bathroom mirror. Shawn was standing next to me, putting product in his freshly washed hair when he noticed my body language.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I have nothing to complain about. I should be grateful.

I left the bathroom and went to change into my uniform. My company shirt needed a wash, but I made a mental note to douse myself in perfume before I left. I was also on my last pair of clean white leggings, which gave me another thing to do when I got home because Shawn doesn’t do laundry. He waits for his mom to come over and do everything for him.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, in his white Sting t-shirt and black jeans. I don’t know why I envied the fact that his only uniform was a stupid apron. Or the fact that he actually looked forward to going to work.

“Okay,” he spoke firmly, “not that long ago, you were pushing me to talk, now it’s your turn. What’s wrong?”

I sighed, not wanting to destroy the last chances I had at pulling myself together before my shift. “It’s nothing. I’m totally happy to be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

My skin was crawling with unreasonable annoyance. I wanted to yell at him, and for what? Was it his fault that my insides were the actual worst?

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Then I looked at him, and the underlying sadness started to creep in. “I just miss my parents… and California. I kinda wish I was there.”

Shawn’s eyebrows scrunched together. His tone was something I was not expecting in the slightest. “You don’t wanna live here?”

It didn’t take much to get me back to my angry state. “I didn’t say that,” I defensively argued. “I said I-”

He interrupted me. “No, no. You don’t wanna be here. You don’t wanna live with me. It makes sense, you’ve been moody this whole time!”

My eyes narrowed into a death glare. “What, am I not allowed to miss my hometown? Am I not supposed to be angry that my large intestine refused to cooperate and part of it had to be removed? Should I not be pissed off that I’m eating bland rice everyday?”

He looked more confused than angry. “I think you should be happy you made it, that you’re okay now.”

I scoffed. “I should be happy? I don’t get to go home until December! I don’t get to see my family this summer! It’s almost June and I’m wearing a fucking sweater!”

“Don’t you hate the desert?”

“You don’t understand!” I yelled. Well, I did it.

“What don’t I understand?” Shawn shot back, raising his own voice. “You hate living here, right? You want to leave, eh?”

“I never said that!” My fingers pulled at the hair on my scalp. “I’m pissed that this is how I ended up living with you! And I wasn’t ready to live with you to begin with! I’m pissed that I won’t get to see my family until the end of the year! And I’m pissed that I’m the one who almost died and you’re the one who’s traumatized!”

That definitely silenced him. Shawn's face fell in a way I had never seen before. My rage faltered a little bit, but not enough to take back anything I said. He asked what was wrong, and I told him. I was too impatient to wait for him to say something, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and I was out of the apartment in a flash.

~

Under normal circumstances, I was very good at keeping my personal problems under wraps for the sake of remaining poised and professional. A customer could yell at me and throw a tantrum, and I'd keep my face neutral and polite. When I ended things with Luca, I feigned composure so well that I was named employee of the month.

But no, a stupid fight with my boyfriend threatened my professional-but-mildly-bitchy reputation! I was able to be polite to customers, both over the phone and in person, but I was testy to any coworker that came within a five foot radius of my desk. The finance, sales, and parts managers all fell victim to my signature death stare at various points in the morning. I was honestly shocked I wasn't fired by lunch.

Shortly after my lunch break, Stacy made her departure, leaving me with Jason and Luca. I gave them the cold shoulder from the moment they entered the office, a signal for them to leave me the fuck alone. They obliged, but they still clowned around at the back of the office.

"Dude," Jason said in his stoned out drawl, "they should replace lube… with hand sanitizer."

Luca chuckled. "The fuck? What'd you smoke today?"

"Nah, dawg," he continued, "replace lotion, with IcyHot."

I had my back to them, so they didn't see the puzzled expression on my face. As if I haven't heard such crackheadery like this before. Sometimes it made me laugh, but obviously not today.

"Okay, I got one," Luca said between laughs. "Replaces pads… with aluminum foil."

"Replace tampons with paintbrushes."

"Or! Sticks of dynamite!"

There was only half a brain cell in this room, clearly. That half was taken by Jason, who had a customer come in asking for him. He left the office, giving Luca a smug look through the small window.

There were plenty of people still in the building. The other managers, sans Stacy, and the rest of the salesmen were running around doing boring business things. I wished I had things to do, like file repair orders in the filing closet that was nowhere near this office. Or add up more gas receipts… Or have a long, pointless conversation with a customer over the phone. I literally wished I could do anything to avoid the fact that I was alone with Luca for the first time in months.

Of course, he could never keep his mouth shut.

"So, did your boyfriend break up with you?" he asked in a teasing, childish tone.

I ignored him and pretended to be busy with car repair orders. I didn't even know how to read them most of the time.

"You know I helped Shawnie boy write a song," Luca went on.

My blood boiled remembering how badly Mercy was ruined for me. The real meaning behind the lyrics messed me up more than I liked to admit. I hadn't listened to that song in months because of him, apart from when Shawn would perform it. Still, spite kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me, you little whore," Luca deadpanned. "Thought we were cool."

No, I do not know where the logic is behind that. Luca's mind was unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I can't believe I used to find it so attractive and endearing. I used to take his degrading name calling as terms of endearment. Maybe it was in a twisted way. But that was then. Now, he couldn't even compare to the man I had now.

Luca grew impatient, and decided to approach my desk. He leaned against the surface, practically sitting on it, and his brown eyes burned a hole into the side of my head.

"That song was about you."

Brand new information!

"And I'm assuming you've heard it," he continued. "So you know how I really feel."

Finally, I huffed out a sigh and looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you know it's true and it gets to you." He smirked, showing off dimples that I used to adore. He talked like this was some sort of challenge, and god knows he loved to challenge me.

"You're a lot of things," I said, "but you're not a liar. Why start now?"

"I'm not a liar. You just don't wanna believe that someone could love you."

I really did not know where to start with that. He never loved me because he frequently went to me when he was bored and horny. He never loved me because he didn't want the things I wanted, and instead of letting me go, he kept stringing me along. He knew I wouldn't leave.

I  scoffed and got to my feet, not wanting to be looked down on anymore. "You don't know that. You don't know anything about me."

Luca turned his whole body towards me. He was still smirking as he fixed the stupid RayBans perched on his nose. "If anyone's gonna know anything about you, it's me. I know you better than anyone here. I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?"

He was the only person who wasn't intimidated by my death stare. He was the only person who made me powerless and small. And yeah, I really fucking hated that.

"Oh, so now you suddenly wanna admit that? Now I'm worth something to you?" I spat.

Whatever cockiness Luca had on suddenly faltered. He took a step back, ready to shut down, but I wasn't having it anymore.

"You had feelings, eh?" I asked, internally cursing the vernacular that planted itself into my vocabulary. "So where was all of that last year? Where was all of that when I was tearing myself apart to put you back together?"

"I never asked you to fix me," Luca said. "You just didn't want to fix yourself. I know I was just another person you didn't want to commit to in the long run."

"I wanted you to-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me.

"Oh, I bet you wanted me to be your boyfriend. But I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed. Wonder how Shawn deals with you."

It felt like the glass bubble surrounding me was shattered with a sledgehammer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, or like my spirit had been forcibly removed from my body. My face was hot to the touch, and angry tears were threatening to come out of my eyes. Everything around me suddenly turned grey and went in slow motion. This feeling in my chest was dull and aching, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Even when Jason entered the office again, I still felt like I was floating. Luca went back to his desk, and my body moved back into my chair. Memories of finishing up my shift were spotty. This darkness was awfully familiar.

I found myself wandering around Walmart after work. My legs felt numb, but they moved and worked like they should. My breath was constantly getting caught in my throat, and my spirit was just following its vessel around the store. I felt like I could collapse at any moment, and I could just let the ground swallow me whole. I tried looking at the video games in the electronic section to get myself back to normal, but I just felt numb. I ended up buying a stick of deodorant and an ice cream bar I couldn't eat.

~

Shawn was already home when I got there, and he still wasn't talking to me. There wasn't anything in me that wanted to try to fix that. He needed to sit with his angry boi feelings anyway. My body moved past the living room, where he was sitting watching Netflix. He looked at me, I saw it from my peripherals, but I just silently turned into the bedroom.

I spent the next hour leaning against the wall in the shower, hot water coming down on my back. I had a specific Halsey song on repeat blaring through the bathroom, even though my spirit floating above my body knew it wouldn't help the situation. I just needed to feel something.

"Tell me how's it feel sitting up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?"

Eventually, I was back on Earth, and the water was cold. My limbs ached as I moved around again to shut the shower off, but at least I was feeling something. Once the noise from the running water was gone, I was forced to hear more of that damn song. I still didn't bother to change it as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Gave love 'bout a hundred tries

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine

I didn't notice cuz my love was blind"

I made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I didn't bother with putting leave-in conditioner in my hair or moisturizing my skin. I stared down at the sink and processed what went down at work.

"I didn't ask you to fix me. You just didn't wanna fix yourself. I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed."

Shouldn't you want to fix the one you love when they're down? Wouldn't you do anything you can to ensure that the one you love would be okay? Why else would I give up therapy so Shawn could take my place?

Oh, crap. Shawn.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of the bathroom, back to the living room. Shawn was still on the couch, take out box in hand. I watched him eat pasta as I leaned against the doorway. My voice came out raspy and wavering, but still coherent.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Talking alone caused a crying fit to form in my chest and throat. I turned on my heel, not expecting much of anything until-

"Did you eat?"

I stopped in my tracks, but I didn't face him. I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Not hungry."

"Hey, I know we fought, but you still need to eat."

"That's, that's not why…" I trailed off. This was a time where I wanted to sit and cry in his arms, something I never did. (The hospital doesn't count - I was under the influence of morphine.) I knew he was still mad at me, though. I couldn't ask him for anything. The only thing I could do was clear my throat some more.

Mad as he was, Shawn was still persistent. "Do you feel sick?"

Yes, but not the way he was probably thinking. I wouldn't even know how to explain it.

"No," I said simply.

I heard Shawn move from the couch, but I still kept my back to him.

"Is something-"

I cut across him. "Don't try to be nice to me. You don't have to after the way I acted."

"We had an argument, we didn't break up," Shawn said.

Slowly, I turned my head to look back at him. The only thing between us was the doorway. Shawn didn't seem as wound up as he did this morning, but that didn't mean he probably wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't want to risk another fight.

"I didn't mean anything I said this morning," I told him, my voice still small. I couldn't find it in me to fake composure. "I like living with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too. I understand that you miss your family. I miss mine, and they're only a half hour drive from here."

If I didn't have this surgery then I would be at home and I wouldn't have been irrationally shaken to the core by Luca's words. I could literally be in my childhood bed right now.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching my threshold. "Yeah, I do miss home."

Shawn then waved me over. "Come on. Come here."

I felt like I was going to fall apart as I stepped out of the small bedroom. My knees shook slightly, but Shawn took my hand and led me into the spacious area, over to the couch. He watched me as I sat down. I must have looked like a right mess if he was giving me careful eyes, like I might break into pieces at any given moment.

He got up and grabbed the grey, woolen blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over my lap. "So… how was work?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I stared at the TV, but I didn't really care about what was on.

"Alright. Do you wanna play Breath of the Wild?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in a split second, and I rapidly nodded my head and sobbed out, "Yeah…"

[39haru-bom]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @janarine - thank you 😄heheh.

I’ve never done anything like this before, so I hope I’m doing it right! Sorry if I mess up somehow.

1. What takes too much of your time?

Animal Crossing (New Leaf). I think I’m spending too much time on my town right now...

2. What makes your day better?

Talking to my best friend, she always cheers me up heheh. Writing, listening to music, and doing something music related too.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I haven’t done much today, but my sister just baked a cake and let me try some, so that was pretty sweet.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Yumenosaki. It’s really the only fictional place I can think of that I’d like to go to tbh. There’s this kid I go to school with that’s basically Tori anyway.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Eh, sometimes (I think). People say I am, but sometimes I don’t think anything I say makes any sense. I do like to help people out though!

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Anxiety.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

I don’t think so. But I do have a lot of very dark and vivid dreams.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Definitely Stray Kids. Not only their music and lyrics inspire me and help me get through things, but also them themselves - idk I look up to them a lot.

Bolbbalgan4/BOL4 and SHISHAMO influence me a lot musically as well.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Nope. I mean, I’ve had a crush before, but I wouldn’t call it love.

10. What’s your dream date?

I’m not sure, but maybe either something at home where it feels cozy, or maybe at a cafe? Idk I just really like cafes.

11. What do others notice about you?

Maybe my height? I used to have teeth that stuck out, but now I’m just pretty average.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Biting my lips. I really hate that I do this.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Referring to the person I used to have a little crush on - yes, we’re pretty good friends.

I’m pretty sure anyway.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

None. I don’t think much about dating.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

There are around 3500 on my main playlist. I’m always listening to music, and I’m always adding more.

16. What instruments can you play?

I’m learning to play ukulele. I really like playing it heheh, and I’m going to start writing my own stuff soon I think.

I was learning guitar, but I lost interest and had no patience for it.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

I have more memes and reaction images saved on my phone than anything else (whoops). But putting those aside, I have a lot of pictures of Mika Kagehira. But if we’re talking about real people, I’d say Stray Kids - Hyunjin, Felix and Chan to narrow it down.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I definitely want to visit Italy and see where my family comes from! I really want to learn more about my family and Italy.

19. What is your zodiac?

Libra! ♎️

20. Do you relate to it?

Yeah? Sometimes I guess.

21. What is happiness to you?

I’m not very good with words or my thoughts, but happiness to me is enjoying and embracing what you have, whether it be people, objects, or anything else, and accepting yourself? Enjoying the nice moments you have with people maybe. I guess that’s basically my take on true happiness.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Hmm, maybe a little bit right now. But I’m trying to stay positive for those around me.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

I had this really good friend a couple of years ago. She always looked out for me, made sure I wasn’t alone in class, etc etc. it was a bit hard for me to sit with her sometime though, seeing as she was in that more “popular” group of people. I started sitting with other people after a bit because I thought that it’d be easier on her, but I still regret not talking to her about it first. I’m not very good with communication. We don’t talk anymore and that kind of makes me a bit sad, but that’s my fault, and I know that. I’m trying to become a bit better now, and it’s taught me to take other people’s feelings into consideration (I believe that people are in your lives sometimes to reach you something, so I guess this is one of the things that she has taught me).

24. What’s your favourite store?

In general, Big W 😂 because I always find myself wanting to go there for some strange reason. Either that or Temt or QBD Books.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I guess it depends on the situation, but ultimately it’s a person’s own choice whether or not they want it, it’s not my position to tell them yes or no.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Yes! I’ve always had an idea of what I wanted to be on it, but recently I’ve started to write one :)

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I don’t really have a favourite album, but to name a few that I really like are any of Stray Kids’ albums, MCR’s The Black Parade, and Broken Iris’ “The Eyes of Tomorrow” (sorry it takes me back to my “emo” days).

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I don’t really want anything in the aspect of presents, but I’d really like to have dinner with my family. I really like to spend time with my family.

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

A lot of people think I’m the shy nice girl, which I guess is true-

Until I get comfortable with you, then I’m really hyper and loud heheh.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Well, I’ll be turning 16 this year. I don’t know what age I seem like to people right now, but I know that when I was younger I looked a lot older than what I was.

I was always really tall for my age, but I think now I’m not that tall in comparison to some girls in my grade.

31. Where do you keep your phone while your sleeping?

I usually keep in one of my drawers next to my bed. I don’t like to keep it right next to my head while I’m sleeping, but I like to have it close to me incase I need to write something down, especially if I get an idea for something I’m writing.

32. What word do you say the most?

Definitely “like”. I always say “like, uh” a lot, and also “you know?”, although that’s two words.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

As of right now, maybe 17, maybe 18? I think I’m still a bit too young to date anyone older than that, but when I’m a bit older, a 3-4 year age gap would be fine I guess.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’m not sure. Maybe 15? I don’t think I’m really ready for dating anyway... lmao.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

My family and friends when I was younger used to say that I should be a model? But I think they were just being nice. I also think it was because of how tall I am.

I also was told once or twice that I should be a nurse, since I care a lot for people I guess. I don’t think I have a real interest in the medical field though, I think all of my interests lie in the creative sort of field.

With that being said, my dream job is actually to be a florist :)

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

I don’t really have a favourite genre, or a specific genre I listen to. I listen to lots of different genres in lots of different languages, as I like to keep an open mind- I‘m really interested in other cultures and countries, especially their languages as I find many languages very pretty.

But if I had to narrow it down, then maybe indie and punk rock?

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I’m going to be 100% honest-

Hands down, I’d stay in Australia. I’m sorry, I just really love my country. It’s my home after all.

But if I had to choose another country, then maybe Italy or Japan?

38. What is your current favourite song?

There are too many songs that I absolutely love.

But my absolute favourite song is Awkward Silence by Stray Kids. It always makes me happy somehow whenever I listen to it.

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I started this blog almost a year ago to try and make friends that are into the same things as me, but unfortunately due to my anxiety and nonexistent social skills I could never bring myself up to speak to anyone.

I started posting and reblogging things on here not too long ago though, so I guess that’s when I finally started using this blog.

40. What are you excited for?

I’m going to America in a couple of months. Although it makes me extremely anxious, I’m kind of excited for it still.

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I’m 50/50. Sometimes I chat people’s ears off, but then sometimes I like to listen to people and people always say that I’m a good listener. I guess it all depends.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I did some unfinished homework. I’m on school break right now so I’m trying not to be lazy for once.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I literally just want to spend time with my family heheh, I don’t ever really have anything to ask for for Christmas or my birthday.

44. What classes do you get the best grades in?

Japanese. It’s the only class that calms me and gives me sanity (usually), so I’m actually able to focus for once.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

8. I’m feeling pretty all right, since school holidays just started, but for some reason I constantly feel stressed and worried, and I’m always tired since I get hardly any sleep. But my plan is to

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully I’m a florist heheh.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

I’ve never had a love related heartbreak, but the first time I ever felt my heart shatter was in year 4 when I was told my great grandmother passed away. I was really close with her and I still miss her a lot.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

I’ve never really thought about this. Should I be? Whoopsie.

Maybe late twenties? I’m not sure.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

There were MANY things I wanted to be when I was little.

I wanted to be a figure skater, ballerina, model, preschool teacher, nurse, police officer, artist of some kind, writer, singer, actor, dancer, and the list goes on. But I really regret not working towards being a figure skater when I was younger, I really wish I was one heheh.

50. What do you crave right now?

Proper sleep.

I’m tagging @kyoko-yuuki :)

I only have one person to tag, don’t have many mutuals lol.

Sorry it took me a bit to finish it, I’m not really good with a lot of things :P

[kirishwima]

The one in all caps + Klance

Here ya go~ ((It’s a med school AU btw because I’m trash for university aus lol))

*****

“WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT FILL UP A “SUPER BIG GULP” CUP WITH 5 HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING. MY HEART HAS EITHER STOPPED COMPLETELY OR IS BEATING SO FAST THAT I CAN’T FEEL MY OWN PULSE.”

He blinked owlishly, trying to let his tired mind comprehend the scene before him.

Lance was staring, eyes wide as he was sitting cross legged on their apartments floor, his pyjama sleeves rolled up whilst he held markers of various colours in each hand. He situated himself across a wall of their living room, scribbling on it what was…was that a brain crudely drawn on there?!

Keith squinted, his mind yelling all sorts of curses at him for the wild awakening. How did he get into this mess anyway?

He had settled in for bed, his warm and comfortable boyfriend snuggling up to him with a grin, Lance’s hand wrapped around his waist, before drifting off into a cozy sleep. A sleep that was interrupted no more than an hour or two after, by a loud thud outside their bedroom door.

By pure instinct he grabbed the knife he kept under the bed, much to Lance’s disagreement, and made haste out of the bedroom in quiet steps. He walked through the hallway, peeking across the door and into the living room, where he found the source of the sound.

Lance was just sitting there, humming and frantically drawing something on the wall, something that Keith had now identified as the nervous system of the human body, all whilst papers with Lance’s handwriting and anatomy books were scattered all around him.

“Lance…what the hell.”

He doubted the humming boy even heard him, far too deep in his own world to pay mind to any outside source of noise.

After another quick scan, Keith noticed the massive plastic cup and empty energy drink bottles scattered besides the lanky boy, both long empty by now.

He sighed and leaned closer, tugging Lance’s shoulder to get his attention.

Even then the boy barely registered his presence, merely turned around with red bloodshot eyes and grinned manically, mumbling a ‘Hey sweet thing!’ before returning to casually destroying their apartment’s walls.

“Lance.”No response.

“Lance what the fuck are you doing.”No response.

He clicked his tongue, bringing a hand to loudly smack against the door beside him, finally rousing Lance from his work with a start.

“Keith! My dude! My bro! The mullet that’s only second to David Bowie’s! My-”“Lance. Explain. Now.”

He really wanted to remain calm in this situation, really, truly did, but it was three in the morning and his boyfriend was talking a thousand words a minute and he did not have the patience for all this right now.

After a lot of cooing and persuading, he managed to get out of Lance that after Keith fell asleep, he suddenly remembered that he’d be doing a presentation on the brain and nervous system for the second-years of their university’s medical faculty the next day, only, he hadn’t even realised that that’d mean he’d have to go fully prepared with a presentation and impeccable knowledge in case any student tried to corner him with obscure questions.

Keith sighed, realising how…Lance-like the whole situation was.

“What do the coloured markers and our wall have to do with this?”

“What wall? I was just writing on the computer a moment ago-“He stared in awe at the markers in his hands, evidently wondering how they got there.

“Keith! I was-no-where’s my computer?!”

He took Lance’s hands in his own the moment the boy stood up from his position on the floor, directing him to the couch and tugging him down, hoping he’d stay still long enough for him to bring a blood pressure meter to estimate in how bad of a situation his boyfriend put himself in this time.

He returned to find the boy perched onto the corner of the couch, his computer on his lap and fingers furiously attacking the keyboard.A quick peek at the screen reassured him he was, indeed, writing everything that came to mind without even a single space or comma in-between the words.

“Lance. Give me your hand.”

“Mm. Just-“

“Lance. Hand.”

“Hand. Multiple innervations. Sixth cervical for thumb, seventh cervical for index and middle finger, eight cervical for ring finger and pinky. Sensitive innervations-“

He took one of his hands and tugged it to him, willing the boy to stay still with a glare.

For a minute he complied, letting Keith place the machine around his arm before turning it on and letting it measure his blood pressure, watching the way Lance squinted at it as if it had personally offended him, trying to hide his grin at the sight.

“140 to 90. That’s not good.” he sighed when the machine beeped, signalling it’s done measuring, “But you’ll survive. It should drop when you digest that monstrosity of a thing that you drunk. I’ll get you some antihypertensives if not, though that probably won’t be necessary.”

“I won’t die?”Keith shook his head.

“Then why am I seeing a pretty angel in front of me right now?”  he questioned, nodding to Keith’s direction, “Or are you always this pretty?”

He smiled at the baffled look his boyfriend gave him and ruffled his hair, getting up to go put the machine back in place.

“Alright that’s enough flirting you nerd. Come here, you tell me what you want to write and I’ll type for you.”

The grin Lance gave him was worth the disruption of his sleep.

*****

An hour later and the effects of the energy drink hadn’t worn off. Lance was firing out information even Keith hadn’t known, despite studying for his neurology exam just last week. He made a mental note to look up experimentation on energy drinks, lack of sleep, and human knowledge, though he doubted he’d find any results on the matter.

His boyfriend was pacing around the apartment, stilling for but a moment to start jogging in place, laughing all the while.

At some point he put on music, letting their mixed playlist of Beyonce and Fall Out Boy play whilst he danced around to one song after another.

Keith couldn’t help but laugh and take a quick snapchat video to send to their friends, adding the time stamp on it to let them know of the situation.

Pidge responded within the minute, sending him a text that simply stated ‘You’re the one that wanted to live with him. Now face the consequences, you cryptid kink butt.’.

Hunk must’ve been asleep, his snapchat being the only one not opened yet, whilst Shiro called him immediately after seeing it, worriedly asking what on earth was going on in there.

“Look Shiro, whilst my boyfriend is very very sweet and very lovable-“

“To the point Keith.” he chastised, quickly following it with a yawn.

“Yeah while he’s very cute, he’s also a big idiot. The type of idiot that chugs a massive bottle of an energy drink of questionable origin and tries to write up a presentation on the human brain whilst his isn’t fully working yet.” he said in a monotone voice, “Also he’s on the first stage of hypertension if his blood pressure is anything to go by.” he added after a moment of silence.

He heard Shiro hum before replying in a slow quiet tone.

“Should you maybe…take him to the hospital?”

“Shiro. We’re fifth year medical students. I’d take him if I thought he was in danger.”“No no I know but…” he mumbled, “shouldn’t you maybe talk with a doctor, just in case?”

There was a short pause.

“Shiro. You are a doctor.”

He heard the slow hum of recognition, shaking his head at the thought of his friend’s current expression, fully grinning when he looked up to find Lance trying to fit his face by his side, murmuring hellos to Shiro across the phone.

“Do you think I should come over, make sure he’s alright? Maybe-“

Shiro never got to continue his sentence before Keith heard shuffling across the line, another voice coming to greet him on the phone.

“Keith, just give him some warm milk with honey, a slap on the face from me for being a reckless kid, and go to sleep. Now.” were the last words he heard before the line cut off, leaving him with the familiar beep of an ended call.

“Goodnight to you too Allura”, he mumbled to no one in particular before dropping the phone and returning his attention to Lance and the computer screen.

*****The sky was already turning pink by the time they were done with the presentation, even going so far as to look for videos and pictures to accompany it.

Per Lance’s stubborn request, he even added a video of Pinky and the Brain singing about parts of the brain, as well as memes of oddly specific humour that he knew Lance would regret the next morning.

He shut off the computer with a pleased sigh, dropping his head over Lance’s, the boy comfortably nestled onto the crook of his neck as they sat on the couch, the energy drinks’ effects slowly wearing off.

“Done. We can get like…” he peeked at his phone, glaring at the brightness of the screen “forty minutes of sleep. An hour if you don’t mind being fifteen minutes late to class, which you always are either way.”

“I’m presenting at 8 am Keef.” he mumbled onto Keith’s skin, making the boy huff a laugh.

“Well, it’s 6 am right now. Might as well go make yourself presentable rather than risk oversleeping.”

“Mm” Lance mumbled, shifting his weight onto Keith’s body, tugging the boy beneath him as he moved to lay on the couch, ending up in a tangle of limbs and Lance’s head on his chest. “Just…just five minutes.”

Keith laughed into Lance’s hair. “That’s what you say every morning, and we always end up late. I swear, I’m never waiting for you again.”

“You say that every time.” He felt Lance smile, grin stretching further when Keith brought a hand to rub circles on his back.

“You say that every time but you still always wait for me y’know? No one’s forcing you to. You don’t have to wait for me. But you do anyway.”

Keith scrunched his nose, wondering where this conversation was headed, Lance’s voice slurring the closer he came to the bliss of sleep.

“You wait for me ‘cause you love me. And though you nag and complain all the time, you still wait. And I whine right back and say perfection takes time, but I’d much rather be late and hear you whine than get there early but alone, because you love me and I love you and, if you were the one that was late, I’d also wait for you.”

He moved, shifting his head to face Keith’s widened eyes under thick eyelashes.

“I’d wait for you forever because-because you’re my soulmate. And I love you. And also you’re very, very pretty.”

There was a pool of red flushing Keith’s cheeks, his mouth agape until Lance leaned in for a chaste kiss before flopping back onto his chest.

“Wuv you” he muttered onto the material of Keith’s shirt.

It took him a minute to compose himself, letting his heartbeat be the only thing breaking the silence of daybreak.

“You know I whine and nag at you, and tell you you’re nerd or whatever, but I never really met anyone like you. I’d rather spend an entire lifetime waiting on you and being perpetually late at anything and everything than spend a moment without you.”

He tucked his head closer to the top of Lance’s.

“I love you too Lance.”

He was expecting a huff, a smile, a kiss, something.

What he hadn’t expected, was a loud snore to shatter the romantic scenery and his boyfriend’s previous love confession.

Yet one look at his sleeping face made him think that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t so bad after all.

****

I had to google what a Super Big Gulp cup is and all I have to say is…americans are scary. 

Hope you like it! :D