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choiseungcheolprincess · 4 months ago

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Monster In Me// Choi Seungcheol

NonIdol!College!SeungcheolXBlackFem!Reader

WordCount: 4.9k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Summary: For the last three years Y/n has been close friends with the 12 men that have come into her life by chance. She's not as close with one of them, and that's Choi Seungcheol. It's not that she hasn't tried, when she did try he'd get all stiff and ignore her. When Y/n finally had enough of him and enough liquor in her system. She decides to confront him about his behavior. She doesn't expect the answer that she's given.

“How the hell am I gonna get through this semester?” I looked at the dramatic scene unfolding in front of me. Hansol just sat there with his eyebrow raised. At the same time, Seungkwan freaked out about whatever things he had to worry about for this semester.

“Kwannie, I don’t know why you’re freaking out. You got this,” I said editing my monthly planner and looking up to meet his glaring gaze.

“Says the girl who’s taking a social worker and psychology course.” leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms out, then sipping my coffee. “I don’t know how you make everything look so simple Y/N,” Hansol said. Honestly, I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I’m far from being calm about everything. I can’t even look at a syllabus without my eyes going cross-eyed.

“What do you mean I make everything look so simple?” I asked, genuinely confused about what he meant by that. He shrugged and then gestured toward my iPad.

“You just always seem so composed and focused. Like you done figured it all out” I laughed not at him, but at the fact that I seemed like I figured it out, because I do not have it all together.

“Hansol, would you believe me if I told you I do not have it all figured out? Because I don’t, you know who has it together, Xu Minghao and Moon221

“Seungkwan! Hansol! Y/N!” Someone yelled. I saw Chan running over while the others walked behind him. When I first came to Korea I met Hansol, I accidentally ran into him at the airport, and then on campus. Once he opened up, he introduced me to his huge group of friends. They all accepted me. Well, I think they all did. Chan, Hansol, and Seungkawn were my closest friends in the group, and they always made sure to keep me company. They were like brothers to me. They always looked out for me and made sure I felt safe and comfortable. Minghao is quiet, but not in a bad way. I realized that he just lives in the moment. Very observant and brutally honest. Mingyu and Seokmin are like rays of sunshine. Mingyu is a fantastic cook and that’s how he shows his love (I’m not complaining at all) sometimes Mingyu is clingy, but I love him anyway. Seokmin is just the most lovable person I ever met. He’s kind and gentle, the kind of man your parents will want you to bring home. Then you have Jihoon, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Jun Jihoon is a music producer and doesn’t leave his studio much. Wonwoo, he’s a game streamer and a very popular one at that. He’s a great person, nice, and caring, he also doesn’t talk much. Unless it’s about a game he finished the night before. Jun is a quiet man, but he’s very strange sometimes. Simply put he’s a cat in a human body, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world. Last, but not least are Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol. Joshua is a gentleman, that you don’t want to get on the wrong side of because he can be very petty at times. Jeonghan is a very cunning, mysterious man. Who just so happens to know everything before any and everyone. Now Seungcheol, that’s a little difficult I’m not as close to him as I am to everyone else. Matter of fact I never actually held a long conversation with him. Every time we near each other he gets stiff and rushes to leave. That kind of makes me think he doesn’t like me. Also raises the question did I do or say something to make him so skittish around me? All I know is that he’s on the University’s basketball team and is the captain of the team, and he’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. No, I haven’t ever said that out loud before, At least I don’t think I have said it…Anyway, that’s beside the point. The point is what the hell have I done to the man that he acts like that this?

“Are we still hanging out Friday?” Mingyu asked. Everyone hummed in agreement I just sat there silently. Until Mingyu nudged me.

“Y/n?” I glanced up looking at him before looking at everyone else. Seungcheol and I made eye contact before he glanced away.

“O-oh yeah, I’m free Friday,” I said smiling softly. They all cheered. I glanced back at Seungcheol giving him a soft smile, he gave a shy smile and turned to talk to Joshua. Jeonghan on the other hand was just smirking at me. Confused I ignored it and kept talking to Mingyu and Seokmin about plans for Friday.

For the next few days, I did the same routine. Class, hang out with the guys, and then do my homework, then go to work. Then home to do it all over again, but when Friday comes I meet up with Seungkwan, Hansol, Chan, and his girlfriend Gracie.

“Did I do something to Cheol? I mean every time I try to talk to him, he seems to completely ignore my presence like it’s a real inconvenience or something.” When I asked they all got quiet.

“I don’t think it’s the fact that he doesn’t like you Y/n. Maybe he’s shy?” Seungkwan said placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Three years shy? Kwannie let’s be serious. He just doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. Or want to know why at this point..” I sighed and realized we got to Jihoon’s house and walked in going straight to grab a cup of whatever sinful liquid I could get my hands on.

After an hour I’m sitting in the backyard with Joshua, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Seungcheol. We were currently watching Soonyoung and Seungkwan playfully bicker. That was until the four of them left leaving me with Joshua and Seungcheol. Who was surprisingly sitting in the chair next to me? I sat there in silence looking at the clouds and the moon and not paying attention to the conversation the two men were having.

“I’ll be back, I have to go to the bathroom,” Joshua said getting up and jogging back into the house leaving me with Seungcheol. At this point, I had maybe 3 cups of mysterious liquor that Chan had made and handed to me so I was feeling pretty bold. Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing, but my brain and my mouth are not on the same page because the words leave my mouth before I can even realize it.

"Do you dislike me or something?" I asked seriously making his eyes widen. We wouldn't be having this conversation if Joshua didn't leave us out here alone. Drinking. I possibly wouldn't have asked this stupid ass question. You know how in school they say there's no such thing as a stupid question? Well them fuckers lied. Cause I just asked one. Seungcheol just looked at me for a few then at his drink. Lifting the cup to his lips and drinking the whole thing. before standing up grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him chest-to-chest.

"I don't dislike you. It's just hard for me to be near you." He whispered his lips softly brushing against mine. I didn't back away. I was anticipating his next move.

"Ever since you became one of the most important people in my life, I just didn't want to mess anything up. So I stayed away from you. I guess I should've thought it through, but since you wanna know so bad." His hand ran down my side stopping to grab my waist and pulling me closer. His head dipped down to my neck, Nose running over my skin leaving goosebumps on my skin.

"I crave you Y/N, I can't think straight when you're near me. I want to do so many things to you that just a taste won't even satisfy me. So if you don't want that, I have to stay far away from you, because if not, We'll be locked in my room for as long as possible so I can get acquainted with every inch of this beautiful body. I wanna break you and put you back together again, and make sure the only name you remember is mine" He kissed my neck. I sighed, but before I could say anything he walked away, which left me confused.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked myself. Before walking after him. I caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "What was that?" I asked. He didn't respond just smirked. I bit my lip staring up at him.

“Cheol, you can’t just ignore me” He smiled.

“I’m not ignoring you, baby. Just want to give you some time to think about what I said” He leaned down hand on my cheek, then gently placed his lips on mine. Before I could even kiss him back he pulled away.

“When you’re ready..you’ll know where to find me” He whispered then walked away. Leaving me standing there in Jihoon’s driveway shocked. When I walked back into the house everyone looked at me.

“Where’s Cheol?” Joshua asked I simply said that he went home, and nothing else. Not even a summary of what happened. I told Seungkwan I was gonna go home, then bid my ‘see you later to everyone and their partners.

“I’ll come with you,” Crystal, Wonwoo’s girlfriend said looking at the rest of the girls. They all nodded in agreeance. Walking over to me smiling.

“Let’s know when you get there yeah?” Minghao said We hummed our answer grabbed our things and walked out the door. The walk started quiet, my brain on overdrive. Still thinking about the feel of Cheol’s lips on mine. Bonnie and Tara looked at me

“Wanna tell us what’s going on?” Tara asked me. Shaking me out of my head

“Huh?” I said

“You and Cheol were the only two people that were outside. Only you came into the house, through the front door, when you both were in the back. What happened?”, I shook my head. "Nothing," I lied. They exchanged a look but didn't say anything. We continued our walk in silence, my heart still pounding in my chest.

“I asked Seungcheol if there was something that I did for him to dislike me, and the answer I got wasn’t what I expected it to be. When I asked him what that was he told me ‘When you ready, you’ll know where to find me’ What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said they all stopped and looked at me.

“What?” I asked looking at them.

“We need to get you home so we can all have some wine and talk this out,” Bonnie said.

It’s been a few days since the hang-out at Jihoon’s and the girls spent the entire weekend with me. I told them fully what Seungcheol said to me and they were flabbergasted, just like I was. When I asked them what should I do. They said and I quote: “After three years and the way he made you feel, he can wait a few more days for you” Now I know they are right, but here’s the thing I’ve been dreaming about the man ever since that night. I dream about his lips and hands on my body. Him telling me that I’m a good girl and makes me cum over and over and over again until I can’t take any more. It’s so bad that my fingers aren’t even enough to satisfy me. I haven’t even kissed the guy and my body craves him more than anything else. I was walking to my lecture and bumped into him.

“Y/n are you okay?” He asked steading me his hands on my waist. I nodded biting my lip he looked at my lips and leaned in my ear whispering.

“Stop biting your lip, before I bite it for you baby” I froze on the spot, my heart pounding. I soon pulled away and waved at him walking away. I obviously can’t avoid him since we are in the same friend group. Can I? Shit when did I get so down bad? I took a deep breath and tried to keep my head up. I had to face him eventually. I just kept walking and tried to focus on getting to my lecture.

When my lecture was over I went to the cafe for a cup of coffee before I went the rest of my day, Until Mingyu, Wonwoo, Minghao, Tara, Bonnie, Seungcheol and Crystal walked in.

“Hey, Y/n,” Bonnie said smiling standing next to me I smiled back at her. Feeling Cheol’s eyes on me. Trying to ignore him I strike up a conversation with Bonnie and Tara who just raised her eyebrow at me.

I slightly shook my head and she frowned. Tara is supportive of me just giving into the temptation and just bending over for Cheol to have him fuck me 200 ways from Sunday. We all sat down at a table with our drinks and started talking about Seokmin’s play that was opening at the end of next week.

“And he’s the lead male? I know he’s excited and working hard to make sure he puts on one of the best performances.” I said smiling at everyone, picking the straw up to lick at the whipped cream. I felt Cheols eyes on me the entire time. I tried my hardest not to look at him but glanced in his direction. His eyes are blank and dark with want. His eyes sucked me in and showed me how desperately he wanted me. His eyes scanned me until they landed on my l, making me bite on my lower lip. His eyes narrowed and he pouted. I chuckled at the cuteness.

“Oh, Cheol don’t you have a game this Friday?” Wonwoo asked He looked away from me looking at Wonwoo.

“Yeah, win this one, and off to the championships,” He said. I looked back a Bonnie and Tara who just looked at me.

“I uhh, I need to go study. I have an exam tomorrow and unfortunately, Professor Park is a major ass” I said getting up leaving the cafe, and walking home. Once I was a few blocks away I heard someone call my name turning to Seungcheol. I stopped waiting for him.

“You are such a fucking tease baby girl,” He said to me once I was within earshot I smirked, but didn’t say anything back. Just continued to walk. He followed me, and not a word was spoken. That was until we got to my place. Once inside with the door closed it was like a switch flipped on because he grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall. His lips were on mine and his hands were everywhere. He was rough and forceful, and I welcomed it. I felt my body come alive as I felt myself getting lost in the moment. He grabbed my neck, his thumb stroking one side. He pulled away looking down at me.

“Fuck baby, you're killing me,” He said. I looked at him through my eyelashes, biting my lip again he groaned, his finger pulling my lip from my teeth leaning down and biting it making me gasp.

“You even make the most pretty noises, fuck pretty,” He said He pulled me closer, his lips crashing against mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, his hand traveling down my body, unbuttoning my jeans, he put his hand in my pants.

“Take them off,” I said against his lips. He smiled. He slowly unzipped my jeans and pulled them off, leaving me in just my panties and a shirt. Kissing me again, his lips left mine and trailed down my neck, his hands cupping my breasts. He groaned in pleasure as I moaned in response. Still moving down my body, I glanced down seeing him on his knees, I spread my legs as he started to kiss up my thighs.

“Cheol” I moaned.

“I meant what I said about wanting to break you and put you back together, make you forget about everything else and remember my name only.” He said before sliding his tongue over my clit. I gasped my hand reaching down and pulling his hair making him groan. His tongue circled my clit as my body trembled in pleasure. Cheol continued to work his magic with his tongue, expertly teasing and pleasuring me. Every flick, every swirl of his tongue sent waves of pleasure through my body, making me moan and squirm against the wall. It was as if he knew exactly how to drive me wild, and I couldn't help but surrender to the overwhelming ecstasy he was giving me. I was close. So. Fucking. Close. That was until he pulled away. Making me whine.

“Cheol I was so close..” I whined he spanked the inside of my thigh making me gasp at the sudden action. He smirked and whispered in my ear “Not yet baby. I’m not done yet.” He stepped back and left me trembling against the wall, wanting more. I couldn’t move. The wall was the only thing keeping me up. Standing in front of me looking me up and down I spread my legs, My fingers sliding down as I held eye contact with him

Cheol's eyes darkened with desire as he watched me, his breath becoming more ragged. The anticipation in the air was electric, and I could tell he was struggling to maintain control. I continued to tease him, slowly running my fingers along my inner thighs, feeling the heat and wetness building between my legs. Sinking my fingers into my cunt, I moaned he just watched. His breathing picked up as he balled his hands into a fist.

“Fuck, Cheol don’t you wanna fuck me? Can’t tell you how many times I thought of you fucking me on every surface of this place.” I said fucking myself with my fingers. He took a small step towards me. “Always wanted to know how your heavy cock will feel in my mouth” I whimpered. That was enough to get him to grab my wrist and take my hand out from between my legs, up to his mouth sucking the arousal from my fingers and pulling me towards him in the process.

“Who told you, you can touch my pussy baby girl?” He said, sucking my fingers. Muttering how good I taste. When he was done he dropped my hand grabbed my thighs picked me up and kissed me. I moaned into his mouth, feeling my pussy getting wetter. He carried me to the bed and laid me down, then leaned down and kissed me again. He pulled away and looked at me, his expression intense.

“Your pussy? If it’s yours why haven’t you filled it up hmm? Why have I had to fill it with my fingers instead?” I said kissing down his neck

Cheol's eyes burned with desire as he devoured my words, his grip tightening around my thighs. With a wicked smile, he whispered, "You want me to fill you up, baby? Well, tonight, I'm going to make you beg for it. And when I finally do, you won't be able to handle the pleasure." His words sent a shiver down my spine, fueling my desperation. We got to my room and he dropped me onto the bed. Sitting he reached for my shirt took it off then reached for my bra unsnapping it. He sucked in a breath, putting my feet on the bed and spreading them while playing with my nipples. My eyes darted down to the bulge in his pants. I made my way off the bed kneeling in front of him and unbuckling his pants. His dick sprung out I slowly took him in my mouth, savoring the sensation as he moaned in pleasure. His grip tightened on my hair as he felt my expert touch. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. He sighed, touching my hair when I finally took him into my mouth. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. The taste of him filled my mouth as I savored his pleasure, my tongue swirling around him.

“Fuck Y/n” His grip tightened on my hair, guiding me deeper, and I eagerly obliged, taking him in as far as I could. The sound of his moans of pleasure spurred me on, my desire growing with each passing second. I couldn’t help but slide my hand between my legs and rub my clit making me moan against him. He pulled me off of him.

“Aht, aht, I didn’t say you can touch that pretty pussy did I?” He said I shook my head,

“Words baby,” He said.

“No, you didn’t say I can touch myself,” I said moving my hand onto his thigh he smiled. Guiding my head back to his cock. I opened my mouth and took him in, my lips and tongue exploring every inch of him. His moans of pleasure echoed in my ears as I worked my way up and down. His grip tightened on my head, I looked up at him, Cheol's eyes darkened with lust as he pulled me closer, his hand still tangled in my hair. "Open wide," he commanded, and I obediently complied, parting my lips and allowing him to slide his length back into my mouth. He began to thrust, his pace steady but insistent, each movement pushing him deeper into my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes as I gagged slightly, but the sensation only seemed to heighten his pleasure.

“Fuck, so pretty like this baby, ” He said as my nose hit his lower stomach, I gagged again, drooling. He pulled out of my mouth and thrusted back in hitting the back of my throat. Breathing through my nose he looked down at me mouth dropping open.

“Shit, can I cum down your throat baby?” He asked I made a noise, saying yes. He moaned at the vibrations coming from me He smirked as he watched me choke and gag, his thrusts becoming faster and more intense. I could feel myself getting wetter with each movement, my breathing ragged and my body trembling. Finally, with one last thrust, he came. I swallowed as much as I could before he pulled out. Licking the rest from his tip making him shiver in pleasure.

“Such a good girl…” He said bending down and kissing me. I moaned “Good…fucking…girl” He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “Now, it's my turn.” He picked me up and took me to the bed, I spread my legs he looked at me like a predator ready to eat its prey. Cheol's eyes darkened with hunger as he knelt between my legs. He leaned in, his breath hot against my sensitive skin, and placed a gentle kiss on my inner thigh, making me shiver. Slowly, he traced a path of kisses closer to my core, teasing me with each soft touch. Finally, his tongue flicked out to taste me, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place as he delved deeper, his tongue exploring every inch of me with deliberate, skillful strokes. Moans escaped my lips, my fingers tangling in his hair.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned out. His fingers joined the fray, sliding into me with ease, curling just right to hit that perfect spot inside. The combination of his tongue and fingers sent waves of ecstasy crashing over me, my body arching off the bed. Cheol's pace quickened, his free hand gripping my thigh to keep me still as he devoured me with unrestrained hunger, my moans filling the room as I teetered on the edge of release.

“Yes, yes, yes! Fuck!” I screamed toes curling, he didn’t let up, and our eyes made contact, as he put his lips on my clit and sucked making me give into the pleasure. I was lost in a whirl of pleasure, my body trembling as I reached the heights of pleasure. Cheol's lips and fingers continued their assault on my body, pushing me closer and closer to the ultimate release. Finally, my body exploded in pleasure, my orgasm washing over me in waves. Working me through my orgasm, My thighs closed around him, but his hand spread them. He pulled away his thumb on my clit fingers still hitting my g-spot.

“Give me another baby,” He said kissing my thigh, then placing his tongue on my clit. Cheol didn't relent; his relentless fingers and expert tongue continued their assault, driving me to the brink of madness. The intensity of his touch sent shockwaves through my already sensitive body, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I could feel another orgasm building, even stronger than the first, as he pushed me beyond my limits, making me cry out in a mix of pleasure and desperation.

“Please Cheol!” I moaned, He didn’t move,

Tears of overwhelming pleasure streamed down my face as Cheol's relentless assault on my body continued. His fingers curled inside me with perfect precision, while his tongue flicked my clit with agonizing skill. "Please, Cheol! I can't... it's too much," I whimpered, my body trembling violently. He looked up at me with a glint of determination in his eyes, his free hand stroking my thigh soothingly.

"You can do it, baby. Just one more for me okay?” I felt that familiar tightness in my core again my back arched as I had another earth-shattering orgasm

“Seungcheol!” I screamed out gasping. Working me through it. When I was finished he pulled away kissing up my body.

“Good fucking girl” he kept repeating he got to my face and kissed me. Sliding his tip between my lips hitting my clit.

“Please fuck me…” I whimpered out grinding against him. He hummed kissing my neck and making sure he left his marks on me

“I wanna mark you until there’s no space left on your body..” He whispered his voice rough, I couldn’t help, but grind against him again making him slide in me. Just the tip, he looked down.

“So needy aren’t you baby?” he said, I couldn’t say anything, just tried to pull him into me, He stopped me.

“No baby, beg. Beg me to fuck your pretty pussy” He said slipping out of me and spanking my clit with his cock. I whined.

“Please Seungcheol, please fuck me..”

“You could do better than that princess can’t you?” He said teasingly, Pushing into me slightly, and pulling out again.

“Seungcheol, f-fuck.. Please fuck my pretty tight pussy, I wanna cum around you, Fuck don’t you wanna cum in me, please fill me baby” I begged. He smiled thrusting into me and filling me up. He groaned out, not giving me a chance to get used to him. He started slow and deep, taking my legs in his hands and kissing my ankle.

“Cheol, don’t hold back” I moaned out he raised his eyebrow, and I nodded

“Fuck me…fuck me,” I said repeatedly each time I said it he sped up, Dropping my legs down. My hands on his arms nails digging into his arms. He groaned at the pain leaning down to kiss me. I bit his lip and he moaned.

“Fuuck, princess,” He said against my lips. He grabbed my hips and told me to wrap my arms around him. Listening to his words he flipped us over. His back on the headboard me on top of him, He didn’t have to tell me what to do I leaned back got on my feet, and started bouncing on his cock, He met every bounce with a thrust. Moaning his name like a mantra he wrapped his hand around my neck cutting off the blood flow, making me even wetter. I couldn’t even think about anything, but him. His other hand spanking each thigh then playing with my clit.

He has me seeing stars. My core once again tightened, my walls squeezing him making him whimper.

“Ahh shit, you gonna cum on me baby?” He said the circles on my clit getting faster, My eyes on his vision blurred. I nodded.

“Cum for me, be a good little princess, and cum for me.” He said, My body shook and my eyes closed tears falling from the pleasure. My body tensed and I let go. Which triggered Cheol’s orgasm. His thrust picked up, breath hitched, he let out a grunt then gasped.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good baby…So fuck beautiful” He grunted out. I collapsed on him still writhing. His arms wrapped around me hands running up and down my back.

“You were so good, baby..” He said whispering sweet nothings in my ear. When I caught my breath I looked at him he smiled kissing me. Then said.

“Baby, I’m not even close to being done with you.” I laughed.

“Give me a few” Kissing him again resting my head on his shoulder. He kept his promise that night, he broke me and put me back together multiple times that nigh

#seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #kpop smut #s.coups x reader #scoups smut #seventeen scoups #seventeen #black!reader #kpop #kpop scenarios #S.coupsxblack!reader

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tyunphoria · 1 year ago

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🌪️two shots of espresso, three shots to the heart — h.hyunjin (pt.1)

- - - - -

⚠️NSFW CONTENT⚠️

- - - - -

camboy!hyunjin x barista!reader

SYPNOSIS: your best friend/co-worker worries about your sad, single, life-style. he suggested a — quote-un-quote — ‘dating site’ but it turned out to be an adult streaming website. you accidentally stumbled upon a streamer who went by the user @SnowFerret320 while trying to close the tab. SnowFerret also happened to be living next door.

INCLUDES: reader with she/her pronouns, best friend wooyoung, SMUT , SLOW-BURN, hyunjin being down bad for y/n, y/n being down bad for snow ferret and practically donating her whole bank account towards his streams, y/n having a thing for hyunjin’s hands, y/n being oblivious to the fact hyunjin’s snowferret for the sake of the plot.

eventually turns into FWB on later parts.

WARNINGS: voyeurism (obvi), alcohol intake, use of toys, reader getting off on his streams, hyunjin being somewhat of a perv?, pet names, praise, degradation, hand kink, voice kink, dirty talk, mentions of obsessive tendencies(?).

wc: 7.8k

! ! THIS IS PART 1 OF THE ‘TWO SHOTS OF ESPRESSO, THREE SHOTS TO THE HEART’ SERIES. ! !

✩

"Woo..." you sigh, squinting down at the nearly illegible writing on the paper.

Twisting it this way and that, frustration creases your brow as the words continue to swim and blur together.

"Your handwriting... is so ass," you mutter.

Wooyoung snatches the paper back, waving it in front of your face with a mischievous grin. "harmonymatch.com," he explains, "It's a dating site. It'll help you get laid."

You roll your eyes at his suggestion as you change into your work uniform and tie on your apron. Glancing back at Wooyoung, you give him an unimpressed look. “Tinder, yubo, elitesingles… Those are all the sites you recommended. Wanna know what they all have in common?” you list, pretending to tap your cheek in thought. “oh yeah—they never worked out!”

“Then keep digging till you find yourself a fine hunk.” Woyoung’s matchmaking efforts often caused more trouble than help. You’ve tried out multiple dating sites and in every single one of them they turned out to be a catfish or just some weirdo looking for sex.

“You’re more invested in my love life than I am.” You shook your head.

“Well,” Wooyoung starts, draping an arm across your shoulder, “that’s what cupid Woo is here for. Let your dear best friend take care of it.” His corny charisma brought a small smile to your face. As irritating as he can be, you somehow appreciate his efforts. Underneath the misguided meddling, he just wants you to be happy, and you know that.

He playfully leans all his weight on you followed by a dramatic sigh. “Like, seriously. You’re in your fossil era and yet you’re still a virgin. What’s the point in living then?”

“I’m not a virgin!” You huffed as your knees buckled under his weight, “my first time just wasn’t… ideal. And you know the people I’ve dated in the past never worked out. Whenever I think the relationship’s going great, they block and ghost me forever.”

“Maybe if you stopped being colour blind and see the red flags then maybe your relationships will work out.” He scoffed. “And your first time didn’t even count; that jackass lasted three minutes and passed out right after. Hence, making you still a virgin—“

He’s cut off by someone clearing their throat. You both turned to see a man standing there with a tight smile on his lips.

“Can I order?” His voice sounded so smooth and languid as you flushed and shoved Wooyoung off of you.

“Of course,” you stammer, “what can I get for you?”

The man—with slightly tousled dark hair that fell perfect across his forehead—his handsome gaze found lingering on yours, making your heart skip. As he paid, he flashed you another smile which caused his eyes to disappear into beautiful crescent moons.

After he leaves, Wooyoung nudges you teasingly. “Looks like you and pretty boy were having a moment.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Wait, there’s a term for it nowadays… eye-fucking, I think?” He cackled.

You shove him one last time before making your way to the back with reddened cheeks. Even though you most likely won’t see that man ever again, had he heard you and Wooyoung’s awkward sex talk? Hell, how long was he standing there for?

“That was so embarrassing…”

✩

You looked at your phone to check what time it was. 11:46 p.m, it read.

“I don’t have classes tomorrow,” you slumped in your seat, “might as well start on that term paper.”

Although it was pretty late, you just couldn’t find yourself sleeping anytime soon. For some reason, your mind just worked better at night. Moving over to the bed, you took your laptop resting the device on your lap as you leaned against the headboard.

The deadline seemed far away yet your motivation came in bursts. An hour into typing, distraction felt closer than focusing. Laying the laptop aside, you shifted to your left to turn out the lamp so you could finally ease into the stillness of the night. On the nightstand, you spotted the paper Wooyoung gave you earlier.

“He gave me a shit ton of these already,” you sighed as you took the paper, “let’s see what this one’s about.”

You typed in the website on your browser and waited for it to load. In all honesty, you just wanted to check it out to see what kind of dating site it was this time. No talking to weirdass strangers, no nothing. Just something to distract your mind at that moment. You glanced over to your right to grab an extra pillow for your sore and aching neck but when you looked back at your laptop, you were met with something unexpected.

The screen was filled with adult streamers. With their privates on full display.

“What the fuck ?!” You instinctively shut your burning eyes, trying to direct the cursor to close the damn tab.

However, much to your luck, you accidentally clicked on a random streamer, seeming as though the live had just only started.

Slowly, you fluttered your eyes open and watched as the guy came in view and sat on his chair in front of the camera. He was wearing a mask, obviously, a white mask that only shows half of his face. What caught your attention was his gaze… he was staring at the camera, almost intensely, looking relaxed as he leaned back on his chair while the nail of his thumb caught between his teeth gnawing at it.

A calm electricity seemed to pulse from his stare, as if he were actually capturing your gaze and holding it captive. You gulped, fingers twitching and urged for you to close the tab but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

The suit he wore drew your eyes curiously—a tailored midnight blue with the blazer resting lightly on his sculpted shoulders, providing fleeting glimpses of the bare skin beneath. His only half-buttoned black shirt glistened as beads of sweat trickled down his dampened chest.

A small smile played on his lips as he brought his hand lower. “So…” he started with such a tone of voice, one that almost made you melt, “what were we talking about in the last stream again?”

He adjusted himself and leaned closer to the computer screen. “Ah, yeah,” a sultry laugh slips past his lips. “We were talking about if you could handle me if I fucked your brains out.” The chat went crazy at that comment he made. He didn’t bother reading them as he leaned on his seat.

He spoke with his chat for a few more minutes or so, palming the tent through his pants throughout.

A couple of them were urging him to just whip it out already and you could tell he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

“Okay, okay… wow, you guys are pretty desperate tonight.”

With one tug of his pants, his dick sprung up with pre-cum already dribbling down its red tip. His slender fingers wrapped around the head of his cock, the palm of his hand circling around it boredly.

“What’s my body count?” He read one of the comments while speeding up the pace of his hand.

“I—fuck… ah…” his lip twitched, sweat trickling down his temple. He bit down on his bottom lip, swirling his thumb around his tip. “Doesn’t matter… could be five, sixty, or even none… just think about how good I can fuck you…” his moans and sharp breathing filled the space of your empty apartment. With his voice the only source of sound you could hear bouncing off the walls, you could feel your eyelids growing heavy as you succumbed to the sound of total eargasm from this guy.

could be your new favourite asmr, who knows.

His hand started to get faster with its motion, almost like he was getting bored and just wanted to get it over with. He threw his head back, Adams apple bobbing along with each flick of his wrist.

He drew out a long whine as he licks his lips, continuing to fuck his fist.

“I bet it’d feel better if you were here… sucking my cock like my pr—ah..—precious little slut.”

“cumming…” he gulped, “cumming just for you…” With one last stutter of his hips and his abs flexing, he came. Thick ropes of come trickled down his cock and over his fingers, coating his abs in sinful pleasure as he groaned for the camera.

He swallowed a deep sigh and grabbed a couple of tissues to clean his hand. “That’s about it for tonight.” As the chat bombarded with complaints, he only ever smiled, sending a flying kiss towards the camera. “I know, I know… usually I’d stay and chat for a few more but I feel so tired. I’ll see you the next time I go live, I’ll make it up to you. Make sure to dream about me,” he drawled out.

Without even realizing it, the live had shut off and you were left sitting there with the homepage of the website on display. You were left, thinking, ‘what in the ever living fuck did I just watch?’

And the full thing at that.

“Once I get my hands on that son of a bitch Wooyoung I’ll strangle him to death.”

✩

You didn’t get any sleep. At all.

Exhausted, you dragged yourself out of bed after a sleepless night replaying that fateful stream in your head. You had barely closed your eyes when your manager called asking you to cover a shift for a sick co-worker. Great. Just what you needed.

You sighed and tiredly grabbed your keys, limbs feeling like lead as you trudged your way outside the door. Your thoughts drifted to visions of warm blankets and a nice cup of steaming hot coffee as you shut the door — causing you to walk straight into someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You muttered, looking up to see your neighbor that just moved in and settled across the hall. He did look familiar… dark hair and nice plump lips. You know you’ve seen them before.

Then it hit you—he was the guy at the coffee shop yesterday.

He reached out instinctively and placed steadying hands on your arms as you lightly stumbled. His touch was brief yet it made you feel at ease. He placed a warm smile on his lips, releasing your arms and took a subtle step back to maintain a close yet not intrusive distance between the both of you.

“Good morning.” A quiet laugh escaped his lips. The sound resonates deep within you, stirring something in your mind you could not yet place.

God, he was so beautiful. More gorgeous than any model you’ve seen.

You merely nodded, still caught in the warmth of his eyes and the comfort of his smile. “Good morning.” You greeted back, nearly breathless.

When the elevator doors opened, you both stepped in as you awkwardly stood next to him. You hit the button to the ground floor, trying to subtly glance at the handsome man beside you. His all-black outfit did little to conceal his athletic build. The turtleneck compression shirt hugged his torso beautifully, accentuating his broad shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist. A duffle bag sat casually at his feet.

His eyes met yours briefly and you swore you saw the way his lips tugged up into a cocky smile. Shit, were you caught checking him out?

He took note of your slightly disheveled form. “Rough night?” He couldn’t help but say, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence that engulfed the area. “Sorry. Not in that way. You just seemed to be in a daze is all.”

Your cheeks flushed as you cleared your throat. “You have no idea…” you say, slightly embarrassed.

He laughed, running his fingers along his hair before he wore a black cap on.

“Yeah, me too.”

- - - -

“Good morning, noona! Did you check out the site I recommended—“

“Wooyoung, you lil’ shit!” With gritted teeth, you smacked the back of his head. “You didn’t tell me it was a fucking porn site!”

“Glad you liked my surprise, noona.” He pouted. “So? How was it?”

You can’t confirm nor deny that you enjoyed it. It was… something new beyond your usual comfort. Do people actually spend their time watching that stuff? In all honesty, you get it. Some people have a weekly favourite drama, youtuber, or whatever, and some have their favourite camperson. You felt more curious than judgment if anything.

Did you stay and watch the whole thing? Yes, you did. Why did you? Mere curiosity though was increasingly uncomfortable. Did you enjoy it? Hell no.

Now, let’s play a game of two lies and a truth.

Whatever. Pretend last night never happened and focus, y/n.

✩

@SnowFerret320.

That was his username on harmonymatch.

According to your friend, Aya, who is strangely familiar with broadcasting jockeys when it came to porn, he goes live once a week every Friday at exactly 11:40 at night.

“You’re telling me this, why?” You asked her.

“Personally, I like @Quokka940 better, I used to watch him when I was still single, but Ferret’s totally your type! Give his streams another chance.”

It’s been a busy week. you’ve been working part time at the cafe but also juggling to write the term paper.

In truth, you’ve been procrastinating.

Your upperclassman, Chan, always scolded you for having that shitty aspect but you only seemed to find motivation last minute. You just haven’t been doing so great lately and it took a huge toll on your stress levels.

You halted the way your fingers danced along the keyboard to crack your knuckles. “Okay. Thirty minute break time.” You concluded after only working for ten minutes, or even less. You glanced at the clock, 11:50.

‘It’s been ten minutes since his stream started…’

You shook your head, eyes widening.

‘Why the fuck would I care?’

“…”

You stared at your own reflection on the black screen of your laptop.

Then you suddenly found yourself typing the name of the site.

“I think I’m going batshit insane.”

You’re only doing this so you could feed your curiosity, you kept reminding yourself. You finally made an account and went by the user @treasure006987.

“Oh? Is that so?” The man who went by ‘Ferret’ sat on his gaming chair, pristine white shirt unbuttoned with a light sheen of sweat on his chest. You watched him lick his lips as he unzipped his pants. “A lot of you are saying you had a bad week…” he stuck out his bottom lip as your breath hitched. “How about I take care of you?”

He dipped his hand into his pants and pulled out his pretty cock. “Just follow my lead…” he continued to roll his fist around the tip, squeezing some lube on his erect cock. “Why don’t you take that off and spread your legs for me, baby… yeah, just like that,” he gulped, squelching sounds echoing in your room as he fucked his fist.

“So pretty… such a pretty baby… go on and suck your fingers… get them all nice and wet.” An odd feeling of a heavy weight settles in the pit of your stomach as you catch yourself rubbing your thighs together. “Rub your slick all over your hole for me—yeah, just like that.”

You tucked your lower lip between your teeth before you finally reached into your panties, fully succumbing to the growing sensation. Your fingers flicked on your swollen clit, collecting your slick before stuffing your cunt with your fingers.

“Oh,” he groaned, his voice getting breathier, lower, sexier. “Fuck yourself on your fingers. Bet it’s still not enough, huh? Bet my fingers would stretch you out so fucking good. Too bad there’s a screen that separates us. I bet you can’t help but wish I could be there with you.” He now used both of his fists and bucked into them. He snapped his hips faster, your fingers urged to move in time with his thrusts.

You let your eyes fall shut, his moans had you spiraling. While you flicked on your sensitive bud, you heard a choked moan and as you cracked your eyes open, he hunched over the camera as he reached his orgasm, followed by the soak of your sheets.

Ferret fell silent for a few minutes, all you can hear is his labored breathing. He cleaned himself with napkins before letting out a chuckle.

“Did you enjoy the show?”

The chat explodes with nothing but positive (and horny) feedback. His eyes skimmed through the comments, but the top donors grabbed most of his attention.

@sincerely_yourstruly donated 70$: “again! again!”

“Again?” He laughed. “I don’t know if I could handle another one… you were so good for me, just thinking about you fucking yourself made me nearly cum in just two seconds.”

@badbitchnala donated 37$: “come onnnnn, pleeeaaassseee?”

@halahalamf donated 53$: “when are you finally gonna use sex toys:(“

@purpsjiminipewbs donated 90$: “would you still love us if we were all worms”

He thanked all his donors, answering their questions or comments, no matter how random they are. ‘I’m gonna regret this.’ You frowned, hesitantly reaching for your touchpad. ‘What am I doing, someone please slap some sense into me right now…’

@treasure006987 donated 150$: “glad i stumbled across your stream… you’re so pretty, can’t wait for the next time you go live.

You cringed at your own comment, exhaustion clouding your mind from such an unholy activity to think of something more original and less corny.

He could be seen squinting his eyes at his monitor. “Aww…” he smiled, “well aren’t you the sweetest thing… you new here, Treasure?”

Your heart skipped, him merely acknowledging your existence brought a giddy smile on your face. “Thanks for the donation! Hope you stick around longer, I promise I’ll be worth your while.” Bringing himself further from the camera once more, he lazily stroked his dick, thumb swirling around the leaking tip as he brought his middle and index before it slipped between his fingers. Your heart swelled in your throat at his next words.

“See this, precious? All for you… all for my Treasure.”

✩

Wooyoung recently introduced an app called Shemu. Another one of those online-shopping megastores that offers everything in such an affordable price by luring people in with the use of pyramid scheming.

��Just another Tein knock-off, they’re probably stealing my personal information as we speak.” You said as you proceeded to add more useless shit to your cart and check-out.

But somehow, your packages always get washed up on address no. 562. You’re 561.

As you ponder this oh-so frustrating predicament, a knock sounds at the door. You opened it to find your neighbor standing there with your latest Shemu package in hand.

“Hi.” He chuckled.

You groaned, running your hand down your face as you leaned against the door frame. “God, I really am sorry about this, mister…”

“Just call me Hyunjin,” he waved his hand dismissively. “And it really is no trouble. Y/n, right?”

“How’d you know my name?”

Hyunjin fell silent for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. “Well, given that this is the fifth package of yours I’ve received this week, it'd be concerning if I hadn’t known your name by now.” He smiled as you flushed in embarrassment.

“Right! Sorry, and I tried taking care of it, I swear, but every time I rang the courier service they passed me off to different departments…”

Hyunjin hummed in understanding, chewing on his thumbnail while looking down at you as you tried to avoid his piercing gaze. “Don’t worry, I know how terrible that company’s customer service is.” You nodded, gnawing nervously on your left cheek.

As Hyunjin observed you, he can’t help but play a smirk on his lips. ‘She looks so cute like this… makes me wanna pinch her cheeks..’

“How about I help you sort this out, yeah?” He offered. “I can call the courier service for you.”

You blinked, trying to process his words.

“Oh—yeah! Yeah… of course, um, come in,” you opened the door wider, kicking your jacket that was on the floor aside.

“Want anything to drink?”

“Water’s fine.”

You both sat down as he dialed the number for the service. It only took a couple of rings for them to pick up.

“Hello! You’ve reached customer service at LaserDeliveries Korea. How may I help you?”

“Hi!” Hyunjin started off with a charming greeting as he comfortably leaned back on the chair. “Hope I’m not taking up too much of your precious time. Anyhow, I’ll just get straight to the point,” he smiled, standing up and bringing the phone to his ear. “I am a valued customer who’s sick of your shit tactics for customer service. I’m honestly kinda fed up, you know?

“I hope you don’t mind, you’re free to end the call of course, but I am going to start screaming right in your ear.”

You looked at him, dumbfounded. Is—is he serious? “Um… Hyunjin, I think I can take over—“

“However, if you do wish for me to calm down, I suggest putting me on line with your supervisor right now.” He looked at you, mouthing: ‘I’ll be back’ before stepping out of your apartment.

You blinked. Then blinked again. Your mouth felt dry, genuinely speechless. You clutch the glass between your hands, trying not to let out a fit of chuckles.

After what felt like eternity, Hyunjin finally came back and placed the phone on the table and switched it to speaker.

“….yes, hello, this is the department manager speaking. I’d first like to formally apologize for the inconvenience….”

- - - -

“I seriously can’t thank you enough, hyunjin.” You smiled gratefully, giving his arm a gentle pat. “I owe you one, let me make it up to you somehow.”

Hyunjin considers for a moment. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned over and lightly brushed his lips against your ear. “How about a date?”

That unexpected question caught you off guard, briefly leaving you speechless as it made your words catch in your throat. “Uh—“

“Kidding!”

You returned his smile, laughing awkwardly yourself. Some part of you still hoped it wasn’t a joke. “How about a free iced-americano then?” He must’ve already known that you were one of the baristas in that small coffee shop nearby.

“Oh, you really don’t have to—“

“No, really, I insist.” You wanted to at least repay his thoughtfulness somehow considering he went through all that trouble screaming in someone’s ear just to fix your package issue.

Hyunjin took your hand and gave it an appreciative squeeze. “Free iced americano it is.”

You exchanged your goodbyes as he stepped back into his apartment. He plopped himself down on his bed, snatching his mask from the nightstand as he brought it up to fiddle with and observe. “Dumbass, why’d you do that?” Hyunjin groaned and rolled over to his side. “The packages were the only excuse you had to talk to her,” He exclaimed

Why should it matter? He’s getting worked up over nothing. Hyunjin thought back to your surprised and flustered reaction when he jokingly suggested you both go on a date. It was cheesy, stupid, but you were so cute he just couldn’t help it!

After he finishes his gym sessions with Changbin, he’d drop by the cafe you worked at and order the same drink over and over again. Everytime your fingers would brush against his when handing him his cup, he swore one day he may lose his composure.

Receiving your packages has given Hyunjin the first chance to speak with you personally. Of course, he just had to ruin it.

The first time your package showed up at his doorstep, he didn’t bother reading the label and opened it. Just some milk frother and a few cups, he was pretty confused at first until he read the label. There were also a few make-up products but one item caught his attention specifically:

A lipstick vibrator.

“Ha… I didn’t think she’d turn out to be the naughty type… speaking of, do I still have it?” Yes, he stole it, and yes, it was necessary. Did he have some self-restraint, god no.

It was sitting in his dresser as he placed a battery inside and sat back down on his bed. He held it up and gulped. Hyunjin tried using toys before, it just wasn’t his thing. It didn’t feel as good as the real thing or his hands.

“Won’t hurt to try something new once in a while…” Hyunjin muttered. He brushed his thumb over the vibrator, the thought of you using it crossed his mind which made his cock twitch inside of his tight jeans.

He swore quietly, fingers fiddling with the button of his shirt, then his zipper, lifting his hips up to shove his jeans down over his hips.

One hand slipped inside his boxers to free himself while the other tentatively took hold of the toy again.

“God, am I a pervert now? What am I doing…”

He grimaced at his actions and sighed. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t — none of that mattered right now when his mind was fogged with thoughts of you.

Hyunjin spat on his palm and slid it up and down on his cock a few times, shuddering at the cold and slick feeling.

He imagined your sweet voice calling to him as he sucked in a breath, picturing you bent over in front of him, grinding your hips against his. Hyunjin swiped his thumb over his tip, collecting the pre-cum that’s beaded there and dragging it down to mix with his spit.

He can already perfectly picture what you’d look like laid out beneath him with your legs spread out and your pretty pussy on full display, all just for him.

He switched the toy on, pressing it up against his tip as he moaned from the sudden vibration simulating his dick.

He scoffed out a laugh followed by a low grunt. “Y/n… I found you… I finally fucking found you.” And he doesn’t intend on losing you again either.

✩

Wooyoung squealed, pinching your elbow. “He so wants you.”

You smacked his hand away. “Stop feeding onto my delusions, woo.”

“No no no no—okay, yeah, but listen; why else would he offer to sort out the package thing?”

“‘Cause he’s sick of it showing up at his place?” You said as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, fool. It’s a tactic men like him use as an excuse to get in someone’s pants.”

Unamused by his bullshit, yet again. You told Wooyoung everything that happened yesterday while the both of you squealed like little high school girls.

Your manager, Jihyo, had to actually pop in a few times to tell you both to shut up.

“Stop it, Woo. Don’t make me more delulu than I already am—“

He gasped, subtly trying to slap your arm to get your attention. “Noona, noona, noona—“ he whispered frantically.

You groaned. “God, what?”

“Pretty boy alert, pretty boy alert—“

“Shit! Where?” You said, just as frantic. You glanced outside to see him approaching the shop with someone as you grabbed onto the collar of Wooyoung’s shirt. “Oh my god, Woo—“

He quickly slapped your hand away. “Don’t touch me, don’t even look at me, and don’t breathe towards my direction. Don’t wanna bring pretty boy’s hopes down, what if he thinks we’re a thing?”

Hyunjin and the other guy he came with both enter the shop.

He approached the counter and rolled up the sleeves of his compression shirt. “Hi, y/n.” He leaned his forearms on the counter while looking at you and, fuck, it took all your willpower to not glance down at his toned arms with veins popping attractively against his smooth skin.

You averted your gaze with difficulty, trying to focus on taking his order. “The usual?”

“You know me so well…” he spoke in an affectionate, almost aegyo-like tone, as he slightly stuck out his bottom lip to seem more cute and charming. He propped his elbow down and rested his chin on his palm.

“Quit it, you flirt.” His friend shoved Hyunjin away to scan the menu. You recognize him now (mainly due to his bright pink hair) – he’s Choi San from the engineering department. “We need to get back before coach returns from his bathroom break.” San rolled his eyes.

“He sits on the toilet for two hours doing god knows what, we’ll be fine.” Hyunjin replied dismissively with a single flick of his wrist.

“Whatever. Um… I’ll have a mint frappe.”

Wooyoung suddenly hopped in the conversation and you knew that glint in his eye all too well. The look of: I’m about to drop some shit on someone and no one can stop me.

“That’s so lame. What are you, five? Mint frappe is for virgins.”

You smacked the back of his head, looking at the both of them apologetically. “It’s fine. We go to the same college so I know him.” San scoffed, “He’s all talk but the last time he pulled a bitch was when RiverDale was still good.” Wooyoung was ready to bite back but you sent him a glare which made him hold his tongue.

“Will that be all?”

“And a strawberry shortcake. Please.”

He pulled out his card and you took it gingerly, your fingers trembling ever so slightly as they brushed against his. You couldn’t help but take one last glance at his hands again, admiring the veins that traced subtle patterns just beneath his smooth skin. You quickly averted your eyes, worried that he may notice you literally checking him out as you ran his card through the machine before handing it back.

After you placed the cake in a bag and Wooyoung handed them their drinks, Hyunjin turned to give you a sly wink just before San ushered him away, shaking his head in mild exasperation.

You tried to suppress the smile that rose unbidden to your lips as you watched them leave.

“He so wants you.” Wooyoung pinched your elbow.

“Shut up.”

✩

Ferret leaned forward, viewers grabbing a glimpse of the way his loose white tank top exposed his beautifully sculpted pecs before he leaned back. With pursed lips, he hummed. “Sorry to disappoint, but I won’t be doing the usual today.” The chat immediately exploded with concerns, assuming he won’t be doing anymore streams. “I have an announcement to make that I’ve been meaning to share with you all for a while now.”

@slut4u donated 100$: “NOOOO ARE YOU GONNA ANNOUNCE YOURE QUITTING?!?!?!”

That made your eyes widen. There’s no way he was quitting. He had his hand over his mouth as he scanned the chat, drawing out a long sigh to give the viewers false hope. “I’m afraid so, my little doves…” he brought his camera higher, only showing his mask. You squint your eyes.

@treasure006987 donated 90$: “okay, hun. you can drop the act👀 what do you have up your sleeve?”

You hadn’t missed the way his eyes turned into crescents when he brought the camera higher. Ferret lowered the camera again but this time he showcased a mischievous grin.

“Oh, sweet intelligent Treasure…” you breathed out, relaxing your tensed shoulders before coming to a realization. ‘Why the fuck was I so relieved just now?’

“Okay, fine. You caught me. I know I’ve mentioned a few times on my streams that I can’t really get off by using toys.” His fingers danced along his chest, thumb running over his nipples. He raked a hand through his hair, propping it behind his head to give you a perfect view of his muscular arm. “I decided to bend the rules a bit.”

You heard a faint buzzing sound. He tilted the camera again, showcasing the vibrator in his hand.

“Especially since this is the second time my Treasure’s come to watch my stream… why not leave a good second impression.”

Your heart fluttered and thumped against your ribcage as you tried not to squeal like a giddy high school girl. With a knuckle caught between your teeth, you watched him roll the tip of the vibrator around the outline of his thick cock laying snug beneath his tight boxers.

“Ohhhh fuckkk…. Treasure…” he muttered, thick with arousal. “Hope you’re—ha..—hope you’re playing with yourself while I get off on you…” shit, was him focusing on only one of his viewers even allowed?

It almost felt like it was a private show, specifically made for you.

- - -

“Came faster than I expected…” he plastered on an awkward smile as he wiped down his torso. “Still hope that you guys enjoyed it, I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone more.” You tossed the napkins you used to clean your fingers in the nearby bin. “How about this, I’ll make it up to you by staying to chat longer than I usually do. Actually – let me show you something,”

Ferret rummaged around under his desk. “I’m sharing this to give you all false hope for my upcoming streams,” he snickered, pulling out a box full of sex toys. “A friend sent me these. I’m sure you’ve heard of him; shout-out to bbokariix. Make sure to also follow his twitter; he posts NSFW asmr if you’re into that shit. Anyways, thank you riix for – uh –” he dug his hand through and pulled out something from the box. “-- for sending me a purple 16 inch dildo.”

You spat your water out, laughing.

“Along with a note that says: ‘remember to lubricate good’ — Yeah, no. I’m not shoving this shit up my ass. Sorry to disappoint.”

“What do I usually do in my free time? Well, sometimes I do art, mainly painting…” scanning his set as he rambled, you took note of the way he preferred to keep his background pretty plain and clean. Just a normal room with a white sheeted bed at the back and black painted walls, other than that there wasn’t much to look at. You propped the laptop on your lap, bringing the screen closer to inspect what was sitting on his nightstand.

It wasn’t that you were a creepy sasaeng trying to pinpoint where his exact location was, it just happened to grab your attention. “Wait… are those the cups from our cafe?” Has he been mother fucking Hwang Hyunjin this whole time? You’re gonna feel hella dumb if he actually was. You shook your head. No way. Slim chance, there’s a million coffee shops out there and there are millions of people who just happen to like iced americanos…

But it wasn’t just that. From his hair to his complexion, it matched Hyunjin’s; fair and almost porcelain, hair that rippled with silk and framed his features beautifully. “Nah,” you said with obvious denial, “his voice is huskier! Right? Yeah, yeah…”

“….I enjoy doing portraits. I recently painted a huge self-portrait of myself. Buuuut… I’d enjoy painting your face white with my cum more.” He winked as you choked on your spit before he moved onto another comment. He really knew his way with words… you almost forgot that this is being streamed on an adult website and not just a casual talk between a streamer and his fans on Instagram or Twitch.

“What did I eat for dinner? Hm…

“does a strawberry shortcake count as dinner?”

You quickly shut your laptop closed and shoved it off your lap.

“No… there’s no way, right?” You laughed and planted your feet on the floor while you stood as your legs wobbled. “But he’s like… the most innocent guy you’ll meet. Or is he? Fuck, I’m going insane.”

Your rambling was cut short by the sound of your phone ringing.

“Hello?” You spoke and waited for the other line to respond back.

“Hey, girl!” Aya beamed. “You coming to that small get together at that barbecue place tomorrow night, right?”

“No—I mean, what?” You furrowed your brows. Since when was there a get-together? “No one told me about thi—“

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7, don’t forget to wear something cute cause the hot babes from engineering are gonna be there. See you, darling!”

✩

Both you and Aya arrived at the restaurant and spotted some familiar faces waving over at you. You shuffled your way to their table and claimed a vacant seat.

Chan greeted you with a hug and a small pat on the head. “Hey! Glad you guys can make it.”

“My God, barely!” Aya cried out and plopped down on the space beside you. “Y/n called me over earlier so I can help her pick out an outfit and it took her over an hour to decide on a dress.” She explained. “I got so fed up I just grabbed the closest thing next to me and shoved this bitch in my car.” Chan threw his head back and laughed heartily. His broad shoulders shook with amusement as his dimples can’t help but bring a smile to your face as well.

Your fingers tugged at the hem of your short dress, feeling as though your thighs are too exposed. “I look like a prostitute.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Aya smacked your hand away. “Stop being so conservative like a grandma attending church on a Sunday morning. This is why you’re a virgin.” Her sense of style really clashed with your more modest preferences.

“Yeah, sorry, like, my bad that I don’t wear booty shorts that ride up my crack during winter.” You rolled your eyes.

Chan took a small swig of his drink before hopping back in the conversation. “You should stop playing league of legends with Wooyoung.. You’re starting to sound like him, Aya.” The mention of Wooyoung’s name piqued your interest. His absence was unusual for group gatherings, since usually he’d be the first one there.

“Speaking of, where’s he anyway?” The others shrugged, wondering the same thing regarding the lack of Wooyoung’s loud presence. It was unlike him to miss a get-together.

“San! Over here!”

You craned your neck to greet San but the sight of a specific someone had your heart beating thunderously.

They sat themselves across from you and Chan. Aya was the first to address it,

“Who’s this hottie you brought with you? New kid from your department?”

“Nah. He’s the rookie I met at the gym weeks ago.” San nudged him to go introduce himself. His eyes flickered to yours briefly which set your tummy in a stir.

“Hello, I’m Hyunjin. I just moved here not too long ago.”

Aya suddenly gasped and slapped your thigh which drew their attention to you. “Omg, is that the sexy neighbor you’ve been telling me about—“ she whispered in your ear. You would’ve appreciated it more if she were more subtle. You slapped her thigh back, with gritted teeth you whispered “Shut up!” Your face warmed up and you were tangled with the heat of his gaze.

You took in as much of his face before he buried his nose in the menu.

- - - -

You took another swig from the soju bottle, relishing the familiar burn as the liquid slid down your throat. You felt a slight buzz coming on, a pleasant warmth spreading through your limbs. You giggled at something your classmate said, though you hadn’t really heard them properly. Your thoughts became fuzzier by the minute.

“I think that’s enough drinking for tonight.” SnowFerret — no, Hyunjin said with amusement as you tried to grab another soju but accidentally knocked it over but he instinctively caught the bottle just in time.

Chan’s brows furrowed in concern. “Man… who knew y/n is such a heavy drinker.” He scratched his cheek in thought. “Aya, can you take her home?”

Aya suddenly stood up with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m really sorry but something came up and my girlfriend needed to be picked up from her workplace.” Chan waved a dismissive hand and told her to drive safe as she kissed your drunk state on the forehead and gave Chan a quick side-hug. Before she went to go leave, she flashed you a subtle wink

Hyunjin piped in. “I can take her,” he offered. “We’re neighbors so it’s no trouble at all.” Chan looked relieved, thanking him and turned to you who still sat there in a drunken daze.

“Well, good luck mate, I think you’ll need it.”

- - - -

The elevator doors slid open and he guided you inside, letting you lean against him for support. Your breathing was slow and heavy as the effects of the alcohol continued to weigh on you. As the elevator began its ascent, he glanced down at you who had your eyes closed. The sight tugged at his heartstrings as he wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you.

“So cute…”

When the elevator reached your floor, he gently nudged you. “We’re here.” He whispered with his lips pressed against the shell of your ear. His voice sent shivers down your spine and with hazy eyes and a drunken smile, Hyunjin patted down the pockets of your dress to look for your keys till he received a text notification from San.

Choi San🗻: ‘u left her purse at the restaurant. L stoopid beetch 🍆🍑💦’

“Shit.” He muttered and unlocked the door to his apartment instead. Hyunjin gently helped you onto his bed, propping the pillows behind your back to keep you comfortable. “Wait here, I’ll get you some clothes to change into.”

“Nooo…” you whined and grabbed his collar. “Jush stay heeereee…” pulling him towards you with surprising strength for someone so intoxicated. He lost his balance and stumbled forward, forearm instinctively braced by your head on the pillow while the other found your waist.

His breath hitched as he gazed down at you, taking in your features blurred by drunkenness but still undeniably gorgeous in his eyes. Lush lips slightly parted, eyes heavy-lidded yet full of longing. An aching tenderness welled up within him, yearning to soothe the haze of intoxication with something more lasting and true.

Your arms wound around him, breaths mingled and faces only inches apart. “No? But isn’t this,” he hooked his finger under the strap of your bra, pulled it, and let it slap back against your skin. “Uncomfortable?” You arched your body into his as his words stirred up something in your brain.

You muttered something quietly. Hyunjin leaned forward and brought his face towards your neck to hear you better. “Then take it off for me, why don’t you…” you gave a soft playful giggle then patted his cheek in a patronizing way.

“Fuck, don’t say that.” He said sternly, breathless almost. His fingertips ghosted over the plush of your thigh, trailing it up your dress.

He suddenly stopped. “Sorry, um,” you whined at the lack of his warmth.

“Why’d you stop?”

“You’re drunk.” Though is it directed at you or a reminder to him?

Your thighs clenched, and he took note of that. Hyunjin didn’t wanna take advantage of you while you were still intoxicated. You can’t recall a time you’ve been this horny and it’s over your own neighbor. Your hand landed on his chest and dropped to his abdomen. “Don’t…” you slurred, feeling his firm abs underneath your fingers felt like an electric current snapping all the way to your thighs.

The alcohol then spoke for you. “I know your secret.” He cradled your cheek in his hand and ignored the way the uncomfortable tent in his pants pressed up against your leg.

“Is that so?”

You hummed. “You’re this guy… this guy I follow. He has this, um, wackass Duolingo generated name,” you snapped your fingers, trying to remember.

“Yeah?” Before he could process what was happening, your lips were suddenly on his. He made no effort to resist nor pull away as he even tugged you insistently closer. Your mouths slanted together hungrily, your other hand running up his nape and tangling in his hair. Hyunjin could taste the remnants of the alcohol on your tongue but underneath it was the unmistakable flavour of yourself — it also intoxicated him, in an entirely different way.

Yielding to the kiss, Hyunjin shifted, so that his knee was pressed up against your heat. You made a tiny noise and moaned against his lips. “SnowFerret.” He stopped and pulled back slightly to look at you.

“What?”

“You’re SnowFerret,” You repeated.

He showed no signs of surprise or discomfort despite the cat being out of the bag. He plastered on no outward reaction but his thoughts were racing along with the fast thump of his heart. “Am I now?”

There will be time for confrontation later, for now he simply savoured the intimacy of the moment. Leaning once more, he kissed you tenderly, relishing the feel of your soft lips.

One hand tangled in your hair while the other held your waist firmly against his. You grasped his shirt as your tongues fought against each other. “You’re a fan, huh… you enjoy my content, baby? You enjoy watching me fuck my own fist?” Your legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him impossibly closer as he softly sucked on your lower lip.

“Wanna know another secret?

“I can never stream without having you in my thoughts like a fucking plague.” Hyunjin whispered between kisses along your jaw and down your neck, leaving a trail of heat wherever his lips touched, nipping softly at your pulse point which drew a gasp from your lips. “You know,” he whispered into your skin as his thumb flicked your hardened nipple through the thin fabric of dress, sending shivers down your spine.

“I hate you for leaving me.” He caught himself before going any further as he groaned in frustration and raked his nails on the bed sheets.

Hyunjin lifted himself up to gaze into your half-lidded eyes still clouded from the alcohol. He wanted to say so much, but he knew that in your current state his words might seem confusing. That was the point. He hoped that you’d forget everything by morning.

"I hate you for making me think you'd come back.”

His thumb stroked over your lips as if tracing the curve of each syllable. "I hate you for making me so insane about everything about you, that all these years I couldn’t think of anything else but to feel these lips again.

“I even hate myself for still wanting you after all this time,” he scoffed out a laugh.

“I hate you. But good luck getting rid of me.”

a.n: ok, this isnt the ceo hyun fic i promised but yk what?

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💨💨

also, one scene inspired by the manhwa called full volume. not proofread.

#reader insert #stray kids #kpop scenarios #kpop x reader #x reader #ateez wooyoung #ateez san #hyunjin x reader #skz hyunjin #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #smutwarning #snowferret

637 notes · View notes

elysiaheaven · 1 month ago

Note

Please some headcanons with Angel from Killer Chat with a Kangel/Ame! Themed reader.

TW: Mentions of blood, breakdowns, Ame-chan-as reader, P-chan as manager, Violence.

ANGEL X STREAMER (KANGEL/AME-CHAN) READER.

This takes place after the angel's ending! You are both a writer and a streamer! But Kangel is your online persona, So people don't know the famous writer is you!

The flickering blue light of your streaming setup dances across your face as you hunch over the desk. Your eyes burn from lack of sleep, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is content. Growth. Metrics. Numbers ticking up. More. P-Chan said you needed to keep pushing if you wanted to keep your audience—and the two of you had come so far.

The clock reads 3:47 AM, but who’s counting?

"Stream again tomorrow," P-Chan had said earlier. "Engagement spikes if we do a morning and night stream. Rest later." You heard the words, nodded like a puppet, and went back to editing, coding thumbnails, planning collabs. And here you were—KAngel, radiant and perfect—trapped inside you.

But you weren’t Y/N anymore. Not lately. You couldn’t afford to be.

Angel’s footsteps are soft but deliberate when she enters your room, as if trying not to startle you. You know that gait by now—light, careful, yet holding a hint of her usual confidence. She leans against the doorway, her arms crossed, platinum hair shining in the dim light like a halo around her head.

“Babe...” she starts gently, almost cautiously, “when’s the last time you slept?”

You don’t turn around. You’re still tweaking some dumb thing on OBS that won’t matter in the long run, but perfection is non-negotiable. Angel’s reflection flickers on your screen next to your webcam overlay.

"Sleep is for when we’re dead," you say, voice saccharine and honey-coated—the playful, detached, perfectly marketable tone KAngel always used. “Gotta keep up appearances, darling~ Can’t let the fans down, can we?”

You plaster on a grin that feels too tight, your expression eerily similar to the one Angel uses when she’s stuck behind the mask of Heartsick Angel. A mirror reflecting another mirror—fake, fake, fake.

She notices immediately.

"Don't do that." Her voice sharpens, the soft concern shifting into something firmer. "That’s not you. That’s not my Y/N."

You roll your eyes—KAngel’s eyes.

"I think it’s kind of funny you’d say that, Heartsick," you respond, a smile teasing the edges of your mouth. It’s not a real smile. Just a pretty one. "You’re doing fine now, aren’t you? But someone’s gotta keep the machine running, right? If you don’t hustle, the numbers drop—P-Chan’s told me that a million times. Can’t let things slip."

Angel steps closer, her lips pressed into a thin line, concern turning into quiet frustration.

"You are slipping," she mutters. “This isn’t what we wanted. It’s not supposed to be like this.”

"Relax, babe!" you chirp, leaning back in your chair dramatically, like you’ve just nailed a joke on stream. "We’re thriving. It’s all part of the grind! They love us! We’ll be trending in no time if I just keep pushing harder—”

“You’re crashing, Y/N.” Her voice cracks at the edges now, and the sound makes your heart lurch. “You’re... turning into what I was. And I—I can’t just sit and watch that happen. Not to you."

Her hands tremble slightly as she reaches for you, but you spin your chair away, shutting her out. It’s easier to play pretend than confront what’s actually happening. You throw up the walls of KAngel—the upbeat idol with the perfect words. It’s safer there.

"You worry too much~" you hum, sing-song. "C’mon, Angel. Gotta keep the show going, yeah? Fans love us when we’re a little insane. It’s what they signed up for!"

Her expression shifts—frustration melting into something softer, almost resigned. She crouches down by your chair now, eye-level with you, forcing you to see the raw emotion on her face.

“Y/N...” Her voice drops into a whisper, and the nickname, said so softly, so real, almost breaks something inside you. “Come back to me. Please.”

It was sadly a while, she saw you again. Ever since, you just named her heartsick- Ronin decided to call angel Heartsick as well just to annoy her.

The apartment feels too quiet without your usual endless stream of commentary playing in the background. Angel sits cross-legged on the couch, her fingers tapping nervously on the armrest as her hair falls over her eyes. Currently she was talking to ronin about it.....

Angel bites her lip, the anxiety gnawing at her. “I’m really worried about them,” she mutters, glancing toward your closed bedroom door where you’ve locked yourself away for another late-night grind. "They’ve been slipping back. Like... a relapse.”

Ronin arches an eyebrow, shifting slightly to make himself more comfortable. “Yeah, well," he drawls, the edge of his lip curling into an ironic smirk, "You’re not exactly unfamiliar with that, are you, Angel?” His voice is teasing, but not unkind—just that usual post-ironic delivery that makes it impossible to tell when he's being serious. "You love the whole femme fatale thing. But, your manager- It's the same for them, Their Manager They love the attention. Two sides of the same messed-up coin, babe."

Angel shoots him a warning glare. "It’s different, Ronin. I love what I do... They—" she trails off, struggling to find the right words. "They just want to be seen. Not loved. Just... noticed. Like if the stream stops, they stop existing too."

Ronin tilts his head, feigning deep thought with a grin, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of her. “Sounds existential. You sure you’re not projecting a little, Heartsick?”

Angel huffs, brushing her hair back with a frustrated motion. “I’m serious, Ronin. I don’t know if I’m enough. It’s like they’re drowning and I can’t pull them out. And P-Chan..." She trails off, rubbing her temples. “P-Chan is making everything worse. They’re forcing them into these fanservice streams, pushing them way past the line.”

Ronin hums thoughtfully. "P-Chan sounds like dead weight. Ever think about, y'know... handling it?” He drags a finger across his throat, smirking darkly. “Clean solution.”

Angel glares, her fists clenched. “They’d never forgive me if I did that, Ronin. You know how they get. P-Chan is their safety net—twisted as it is.”

"Safety net, huh?" Ronin taps his chin theatrically. “Sounds more like a straitjacket. The longer they stick with P-Chan, the more they spiral, right?” He leans forward now, his grin softening just slightly. “Look, You and them... you're the same. You keep doing this because you love it. They’re doing it because they think the world will forget them if they stop. Big difference. P-Chan's just gonna make that worse."

Angel presses her palms together, anxiety simmering beneath her calm surface. “So what do I do, Ronin? I can’t just—kill—P-Chan. Y/n really cared for them." She swallows hard, hating how the thought had even crossed her mind.

Ronin leans back, shrugging nonchalantly. "Don’t gotta kill P-Chan if you play it smart. You just gotta make sure they see the truth before it’s too late. Either you save them now... or you let P-Chan destroy them. Your call, Heartsick."

Angel lowers her gaze, the weight of Ronin’s words pressing down on her. Think, Angel. Think.

She knows what you’re becoming—knows what it’s like to crave the spotlight until it consumes you. She’s been there. But pulling you back feels impossible, like trying to catch a shadow in the dark.

"I just want them to be okay," she whispers, her voice cracking under the weight of the fear she’s carried for months.

Ronin stands, cracking his neck with a lazy roll of his shoulders. “Then make them okay, Angel." He flashes a grin—not his devilish smirk, but something oddly genuine. "Even if they hate you for it. Better they hate you alive than love you dead, right?”

Angel stays quiet, her hands trembling slightly. She knows he’s right. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier.

And inside your room, you hit Go Live again. Your reflection in the screen stares back at you—not Y/n, but KAngel. Perfect, flawless, and adored.

Because if they love KAngel, they’ll never forget you.

Right?........

It wasn't always like this...

Whenever you, as KAngel, pull off a new stream, Angel is your biggest cheerleader. She’ll send you cute emojis in the chat and leave supportive comments, helping you feel adored and validated in your KAngel persona.

After a long day of streaming and managing your persona, you both curl up on the couch, surrounded by soft blankets. Angel loves to tuck her head under your chin, feeling safe and cherished. You can feel her happiness radiating off her in these quiet moments, and it gives you the confidence to continue being KAngel.

Angel affectionately calls you “(Insert-the nickname)” complimenting how you light up her life with your bubbly KAngel persona. The way her eyes sparkle when she looks at you makes your heart flutter.

You both brainstorm ideas for content that could highlight both your personalities—KAngel’s flirtatious charm and Yours sincerity. Planning these videos brings you closer, and you share laughter and ideas late into the night.

But now..?

Over time, the pressure to maintain KAngel starts to weigh heavily on you. You feel the need to keep up appearances and not disappoint your fans, leading you to push past your limits. Angel starts to notice you growing more withdrawn during your off-time, no longer wanting to share those intimate moments.

During a stream, something goes wrong—a technical issue or a slip of the tongue. Instead of laughing it off like KAngel would, you freeze, panic surging through you. After the stream, you lock yourself in your room, ashamed of showing your vulnerable side, and Angel’s concern turns into frustration as she tries to reach you.

the days went on, the pressure from P-Chan only intensified. Your streams became increasingly fanservice-oriented, focusing more on what would bring in views rather than what you loved. You had to put on the KAngel persona, becoming overly bubbly and flirty, which felt more like a mask than an expression of who you were.

Angel’s Concern, only started more.

One evening, after a particularly exhausting stream, Angel found you staring blankly at your screen. Your heart raced from the effort it took to maintain the KAngel facade, and she could see it etched on your face.

“Hey,” she said softly, settling next to you on the couch. “How are you holding up? You look… really worn out.”

You shrugged, forcing a smile. “I’m fine, Angel! Just a bit tired from all the streaming. P-Chan’s got a lot planned for the next few weeks.”

Her brow furrowed, concern deepening. “But it seems like he’s been pushing you too hard. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your well-being for views.”

You felt a flicker of irritation, defensiveness bubbling up. “I’m fine! I can handle it. I want to make people happy. KAngel is a part of me!”

Angel’s expression softened, and she leaned closer. “But are you happy? I see you slipping back into your old self. You were doing so well. I just want you to be okay.”

Despite her gentle approach, the pressure was getting to you. The more you pretended to be KAngel, the more you felt the real you—fading away. The facade was starting to wear thin, and you could feel your sanity fraying at the edges.

“I just have to keep up with P-Chan’s demands. It’s fine, really.” You couldn’t hide the tremor in your voice.

Angel frowned, sensing your distress. “This isn’t fine, and you know it. I want to be there for you. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

Just then, a notification pinged on your phone—a new message from P-Chan outlining an even more demanding streaming schedule. It made your heart sink, and you felt a knot of anxiety tighten in your chest.

“See? It’s fine. I can handle it.” But even you could hear the false bravado in your voice.

The following week, P-Chan continued to ramp up the pressure, pushing you to keep up the KAngel persona for your streams. He had a vision for your channel—a vision that didn’t include any room for your mental well-being.

“Listen, ,” he said one day, his voice brimming with enthusiasm as he reviewed the last stream’s metrics. “The viewers love the KAngel persona. But you know they’re getting a bit disappointed with the way you’ve been acting lately. They want the bubbly, flirty girl, not this… whatever it is you’ve been doing.”

You felt your stomach twist at his words, the pressure building like a volcano ready to erupt. “I’m trying! It’s just been a lot lately, and—”

“Just keep it up,” he interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. “You need to give the people what they want. That’s how you’ll get your fame back! More engagement equals more views! Just remember, we’re in this together.”

The next stream, you felt like you were walking a tightrope, balancing on the edge of sanity. As the camera turned on and you slipped into the familiar persona of KAngel, a wave of exhaustion washed over you. You forced a smile, and your heart raced with anxiety.

“Hey, everyone! It’s your favorite KAngel! Ready to have some fun today?” you chirped, but the words felt hollow, echoing in the emptiness of your heart.

As the chat filled with excitement, you tried to keep up with their energy, but your mind felt hazy, like you were trying to run through thick mud.

“Let’s get started with some challenges today! I know you love them!” you announced, but the enthusiasm didn’t reach your eyes.

Gradually, the facade began to crack. You stumbled over your words, your focus wavering as you lost sight of the chat. “I—uh… I think we should do something fun… right?”

The viewers’ reactions began to shift, disappointment seeping through the comments like a poison. “What’s wrong with her?” “This isn’t the KAngel we know!” “Is she okay?”

Each comment felt like a dagger to your heart, intensifying the panic that gripped you. You felt a wave of frustration boil within you, your breathing becoming uneven.

“Damn it!” you suddenly yelled, the words bursting forth without warning. “Damn everything! I can’t keep doing this!”

The chat erupted, confusion and concern flooding the comments, but you barely registered it. All you could see was P-Chan’s face, his expression shifting from excitement to something darker.

“Keep it together!” he hissed, his voice barely above a whisper, but the urgency fell on deaf ears.

Your vision blurred, and you felt the walls closing in. “I can’t… I can’t focus! Just leave me alone!” You slumped down in your chair, overwhelmed by the cacophony of voices in your head and the relentless expectations weighing down on you.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you broke down live on camera, the mask slipping away completely. “I don’t want to be KAngel anymore! I just want to be me!”

The stream continued to roll, the viewers stunned into silence as your breakdown unfolded before them. The reality of your struggle was laid bare for everyone to see.

When you looked at P-Chan, his expression had transformed. Instead of concern, there was a chilling smile spreading across his face. “You did good, Y/n” he said, his tone almost mocking. “This is exactly what the viewers love. This raw emotion? It’ll make you more famous than ever!”

His words twisted inside you, and a dark realization settled in. It was as if you had been playing into his hands, the puppet of his desires. The psychotic glint in your eyes matched the manic edge of your laughter as you processed his twisted encouragement.

“Famous?” you repeated, your voice hollow. “You think this is what they want?”

“Absolutely,” P-Chan replied, a calculating gleam in his eyes. “Keep it up, and we’ll get back to the top in no time.”

In that moment, the fear transformed into a blend of anger and despair. You felt like you were spiraling deeper into the abyss, and all the while, P-Chan watched, unfazed by your suffering.

The stream ended, leaving behind a stunned silence. You stared blankly at the screen, the chat continuing to scroll with a mixture of support and confusion. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet somehow twistedly empowered by the chaos.

As the realization of your breakdown hit you like a tidal wave, you whispered, “What have I become?”

Angel rushed in, her eyes wide with concern. “Ame! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to help you through this.”

You turned to her, a wild look in your eyes. “Help me? I don’t even know who I am anymore, Angel! But! It's okay..Go home now.”

The day started as a struggle. You woke up sluggish, your mind weighed down by the relentless negativity you felt everywhere you turned. After dragging yourself out of bed, you grabbed your phone and sent a quick text to P-Chan:

Y/n: Hey, I’ve been feeling really sluggish and crabby lately. Not sure what’s going on.

No reply came right away, but you didn’t want to wait for him. You opened Twitter and typed your name into the search bar. A pit formed in your stomach as the hate flooded in.

“Ugh, just ignore it,” you muttered to yourself, trying to shake off the sick feeling creeping into your chest. But it was hard to ignore when the insults were so personal.

You decided to vent on your private Twitter account.

Y/n: Why is it that I’m getting more hate than usual? I can’t even open my mentions without feeling like trash.

You felt the familiar weight of anger rise within you, a fire ignited by the cruel words of strangers. After venting, you decided to post on your KAngel account to reassure your fans:

KAngel: Something got me a little shaken up, but don’t worry! I’ll keep going! 💖

You hoped the sweet emojis would soften the blow, but within seconds, the comments began to flood in—annoying replies, mocking you, turning your heart into a stone.

You couldn’t help it; you sent another text to P-Chan, your frustration spilling over.

Y/n: This is bothering me so much. I’m really going through it lately.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally replied.

P-Chan: You just need to push through, Y/n. The audience loves the drama!

When the stream began, you plastered on the usual KAngel smile, channeling a different version of yourself, one that was strong, bubbly, and full of light.

“Hey, everyone! It’s your KAngel! Let’s have some fun!” you cheered, but it felt forced, an act that barely masked the turmoil underneath.

As the minutes passed, the comments started to come in thick and fast—snide remarks, critiques of your performance. Your heart raced, and the anger you had suppressed boiled over.

“What is wrong with you guys? Can’t you see I’m trying?” you snapped, the crack in your facade widening. The laughter that usually bubbled up felt more like a scream, and you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

“Just shut up!” you yelled, the words erupting out of you like a volcano. Your vision blurred, the chat filled with an echo of harsh laughter, and suddenly, you couldn’t take it anymore.

With no warning, you vomited on the webcam, the bile rising as humiliation washed over you. The stream ended abruptly, leaving your viewers in stunned silence.

You slumped in your chair, your heart racing, your head spinning with confusion and shame. P-Chan leaned in with a twisted smile on his face.

“You did good, Y/n,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm. “This will make you more famous than ever.”

Your stomach churned with rage and disbelief. “Is this what you wanted?” you spat, tears of frustration spilling down your cheeks.

The shame felt heavy, but you were too exhausted to care. You wanted to disappear.

The next morning was no better. You woke up feeling worse, the weight of your previous day hanging over you like a dark cloud. Vanity searching again, your heart sank as you saw the hate had doubled, people mocking you, making fun of your breakdown.

You felt sick, the bitterness and pain rising in your throat. You couldn’t shake the thought, What if I just… didn’t exist anymore?

But deep down, the drive to keep working and regain your standing clawed at you. You opened your KAngel account and tweeted:

KAngel: Sorry for the stream yesterday! It was a lot, but I’m back and better than ever! 💖

The replies were a mix of concern and ridicule, with some even demanding to see you vomit again. It sickened you, but a twisted part of you felt a sense of power in their interest.

You decided to go live again, channeling your energy into a stream titled “On Angels.” You added a blueish filter, making everything feel surreal.

At first, everything seemed okay. You laughed, interacted, and kept the mood light, but the moment the mean comments rolled in, the laughter faded, replaced by tears.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you screamed, lashing out as the pain bubbled over. The comments turned even more vicious, and you felt like you were drowning.

“I’ll quit streaming!” you shouted, feeling the bile rise again. “I can’t do this anymore!”

Before you knew it, you vomited on the webcam once more, the world spinning as the stream ended abruptly, leaving only the sound of your sobs behind.

The next day was worse. You woke up, feeling like a ghost, devoid of any energy. You vanity searched again, and the results were worse than before.

A ton of windows filled with slander and mockery popped up in front of you, your heart racing as you clicked through the endless hate. One window caught your attention:

DIE

Against your better judgment, you clicked it, and suddenly a flurry of windows appeared, each one showcasing pills labeled “Dylsem.” Your stomach twisted in fear and curiosity, but your hands moved almost on instinct as the screen morphed into a self-harm minigame.

Unlike the actual game, you had no control over the events unfolding. The sequence felt like it was happening in slow motion as you transformed. The glitches twisted your image until you were unrecognizable, almost monstrous.

The stream began, titled simply “DIE.”

You appeared on screen, laughter escaping your lips that sounded foreign, manic, and desperate. “You think you can break me? You have no idea what I’m capable of!”

As you threatened your viewers, the screen filled with a flood of floating eyes, watching, judging, taunting. The laughter turned to sobs, spiraling into a full-blown breakdown.

“I’ll quit! You’ll never see me again!” you shouted, your heart racing as the darkness enveloped you.

The stream ended abruptly, leaving only a black screen filled with the haunting words that repeated over and over:

DIE. DIE. DIE.

The aftermath of your stream left you breathless and shaken, your heart pounding as the room felt like it was closing in on you. You stared blankly at the screen, the haunting words “DIE. DIE. DIE.” echoing in your mind. Your breath quickened, and tears streamed down your face, hot and unrelenting.

“I can’t do this anymore!” you cried, your voice breaking as the weight of it all crashed down on you. “I don’t want to act like this! I don’t want to be KAngel!”

You felt a surge of anger boiling in your veins, directed at the very person who was supposed to support you—P-Chan. You could hear him laughing softly in the background, that condescending tone grating on your nerves.

“It’s all part of the show, Ame. You know that,” he said, but his words only fueled the fire inside you.

“Shut up!” you screamed, your voice cracking as you shot up from your chair, the energy surging through you like a lightning bolt. In a burst of rage, you pushed him away, the fury blinding you to the consequences.

P-Chan stumbled back but quickly regained his footing, his eyes narrowing with a mix of surprise and anger. “What’s your problem?” he snapped, advancing toward you.

“You! You’re the problem!” you shouted, feeling the rage boiling over. You couldn’t contain it anymore. You felt like you were losing control, the weight of all the hate, all the expectations, crashing down around you.

In a wild rush, he shoved you back, and you lost your balance, hitting your head against the edge of the desk. Pain shot through you, but it only fueled your rage. You leaped up, eyes wild, and grabbed the chair, your grip tight as you lifted it above your head.

“DIE! DIE! DIE!” you screamed, the words echoing off the walls as you brought the chair down onto P-Chan, the sound of wood crashing against flesh ringing in your ears.

He grunted, eyes wide with shock as he stumbled back, trying to shield himself from your furious assault. You swung again, the chair connecting with his body as he fell to the floor, breathless and dazed.

“Why are you doing this?” he gasped, trying to catch his breath, but the look in his eyes made you realize he was frightened.

“I don’t want to be your puppet!” you shouted, lifting the chair again, your voice hoarse and raw. “You think this is funny? You’re destroying me!”

Each blow sent a wave of catharsis through you, the pain of the world washing away with every strike. But it was short-lived; P-Chan, weakened from your attack, managed to grab your wrist, stopping your next swing.

“Stop! You’re going too far!” he yelled, his voice strained.

In that moment, reality hit you like a brick wall. You paused, breath heavy and ragged, your heart racing as the adrenaline coursed through you.

He was on the ground, and you stood over him, chair in hand, panting heavily. You blinked, the haze of anger starting to clear, replaced by confusion and regret.

“What have I done?” you whispered, the chair slipping from your fingers and clattering to the ground.

You opened your KAngel account, the familiar rush of anxiety fluttering in your chest as you typed out a manic tweet: "Tonight’s stream is gonna be wild! Don’t miss it, lovelies! 💖✨🦋"

You hit send, a wave of anticipation washed over you, mingled with dread. The distorted, playful background music filled the room as you transformed with the magic paper filter, your appearance shifting into a whimsical, yet unsettling rendition of KAngel. The vibrant colors clashed with the eerie vibes radiating from you. You tried to smile, but the grin felt more like a grimace.

The Stream Begins

“Welcome back, my wonderful viewers!” you chirped, trying to mask the turmoil within you. “Tonight, we’re diving into something super special: the ‘Diagram of the Body’! Isn’t that exciting?”

The music twisted and warped, creating a surreal atmosphere that matched the chaotic energy surging through your veins. Your eyes flickered around the room, taking in the scattered remnants of your latest projects, the once-innocent walls now stained with splatters of red—a haunting backdrop that seemed to pulse with life.

“You know, I had a pet fish once,” you began, your tone shifting from bubbly to strangely contemplative. “I named him Fluffy. I took such good care of him! But he still died… despite my best efforts.”

A strange laughter bubbled up, mixing with the music, and you continued rambling, trying to fill the silence that clawed at you. “It’s funny, isn’t it? You try so hard, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter.”

You could feel the disconnect between your voice and the words spilling out, as if you were just a vessel for the chaos within. The screen flickered, cutting to a void-like background where a poem appeared, words flowing like blood on the wall behind you:

"In a world of shapes and lines, The body speaks in silent cries. Efforts wasted, lives confined, A diagram drawn in whispered lies."

As the poem faded, a flash of text suddenly took over the screen: “HELP ME.”

You froze, heart racing, the weight of those words crashing down on you like a tidal wave. But instead of addressing the dread creeping in, you pushed it aside. “Being this idiotic nyah girl is just… scary, okay? I don’t wanna be this! But you idiots won’t understand, will you?”

Your voice trembled as you continued, frustration bubbling over. “All of you, with your stupid comments and demands, treating me like some tool for your entertainment! It’s disgusting! You think I’m just a plaything, an idol to mold into whatever you want!”

The distorted music echoed your feelings, amplifying the chaos in your mind as you started to spiral. “You’re all so idiotic! I’m not your little puppet!” you spat, anger spilling out, each word sharp and stinging. “This isn’t just a game! I’m a person! I’m not here to be used!”

You could feel the anger surging, and the stream became a cathartic release for everything bottled inside. “I don’t want to act like this! I’m more than your entertainment! I can’t be the cute little KAngel forever!”

The disgust you felt for the simps and the way they saw you as a tool welled up in your throat, and before you knew it, you were ready to cut the stream. “I’m done! If you can’t understand that, then screw you all!”

With that final thought hanging in the air, you slammed the end stream button, breathing heavily as the screen faded to black. You stared at the darkness, the silence of your room almost deafening after the chaotic outburst.

The distortion faded, but the weight of what you had just said lingered, filling the space with a tension that was hard to shake. The comments were already flooding in, a mix of concern and derision, but you didn’t care.

“You won’t get it,” you whispered to the empty room, your voice barely above a whisper. “You never will.”

The aftermath of your stream hung heavy in the air, the adrenaline still pulsing through your veins as you sank into the quiet of your room. Just as you tried to steady your breath, the door swung open, and in walked Angel, her face a mix of concern and urgency.

“Y/n,” she exclaimed, rushing towards you. Her arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you into a hug that felt both comforting and grounding. But as she pulled back, her gaze dropped to the floor, and her eyes widened at the sight of the blood smeared against the wall.

“Y/n, is that…” Her voice trembled slightly, the realization dawning on her.

“It’s fine, Angel! It’s just a little…” You tried to wave it off, forcing a smile despite the fear coiling in your stomach. “Just a first aid issue, really.”

She narrowed her eyes, not convinced. “Did… did you kill P-Chan?” The question slipped out before she could stop it, a hint of shock lacing her voice.

You shook your head quickly, the panic rising again. “No! No, they just fainted! I got a bit... carried away.”

Angel’s expression softened, relief flooding her features. “Okay, good. But you’re hurt. Come on, let’s take care of you.” She grabbed your hand and led you toward the bathroom, her grip firm but gentle, grounding you in the chaos of the moment.

Once in the bathroom, Angel turned on the faucet, filling the tub with warm water as she gathered supplies. She moved with a certain grace, her focus entirely on you, and it brought a sense of calm that contrasted sharply with the storm in your mind.

“Hold still,” she instructed softly, grabbing a first aid kit and pulling out bandages and antiseptic. You watched as she worked, her brow furrowed in concentration, and it struck you how much she cared.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Angel,” you mumbled, feeling guilty for the mess you had created, both physically and emotionally.

“Don’t apologize,” she said firmly, dabbing a cloth against the cut on your arm. “You’ve been through a lot. And I won’t let P-Chan mess with you anymore. I'll let Ronin, take care...."

You glanced up at her, your heart aching with appreciation. “How... how did the Devil’s Butcher take care of them?” you asked hesitantly, not wanting to dwell on the darker aspects of the situation.

A faint smirk crossed Angel’s lips, a hint of mischief sparkling in her eyes. “Let’s just say Ronin has his ways. He knows how to deal with people who step out of line.”

You nodded, a chill of admiration running down your spine. “Tell Ronin I said thanks,” you murmured, feeling a strange sense of camaraderie in the chaos.

After tending to your wounds, Angel helped you out of the bathroom and into some fresh clothes. “How about we go on a little date?” she suggested, a warm smile breaking across her face. “Just you and me, away from all this... nonsense.”

Your heart swelled at the thought, the idea of spending time with her lifting your spirits. “I’d like that,” you replied softly, feeling a flicker of hope igniting within you.

The two of you spent the evening together, sharing laughter and stories over a makeshift dinner. As the lighthearted banter flowed, you felt a sense of normalcy wash over you, easing the lingering fears from the day.

But deep down, you knew that the struggles weren’t over. The shadows of your online life loomed large, threatening to encroach on your newfound peace. Yet, for now, you allowed yourself to lean into Angel’s warmth, cherishing the moment and the promise of support that she brought into your life.

The evening wore on, the atmosphere settled into a comfortable rhythm. The remnants of your earlier chaos faded into the background, leaving only the warm glow of the room and the soft sound of Angel’s laughter. You both sat on the couch, sharing bites of the snacks you’d prepared, when she suddenly grew quiet, her gaze drifting towards the window.

“Y/n,” she said softly, breaking the comfortable silence, “do you remember when I... killed him?” The mention of her manager hung in the air, a reminder of the dark path she had walked to reclaim her power.

You nodded, the memory fresh in your mind. The way she had transformed that night, fierce and unyielding, stayed etched in your thoughts. “You were so strong. I was scared for you, I didn't want to leave you tho, but I knew you had to do what you did.”

Angel turned to you, her eyes shimmering with emotion. “You cared about me, even when I was a mess. You sat beside me, helped me in the bath... I never forgot that. It meant the world to me.”

Your heart swelled at her words. You had always wanted to support her, to be there in her moments of darkness, just as she had been there for you.

“I wanted to make sure you knew I was there for you, always,” you replied, sincerity lacing your tone.

She smiled, a warm, radiant smile that seemed to light up the room. “And that’s why I want to do the same for you. I love you, Y/n. I love you—it's fun! You bring out this side of me that feels... alive.”

She spoke, you felt the heaviness in your chest begin to lift. It was freeing to embrace the messiness of life, to be together in this chaotic whirlwind.

“I love you too, Angel,” you said, a grin spreading across your face. “Being a loser with you is the best.”

#killer chat x reader #killer chat ronin #killer chat vn #killerchat #killer chat angel #killer chat angel x reader #angel x reader #angel killer chat #killer chat #Maria de la rosa

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twilight-skies · 27 days ago

Text

A copy of my liveblog on discord through the entire DSMP portion of Jack’s stream. If you can’t watch it, this give you the gist, and every piece of lore.

Okay I’m ready

Jacks getting himself into lore mode

“Wiki updaters get ready. Play some jump in the cadillac”

Surreal

Okay he just got distracted by a tweet apparently rosanna pansino is siccing the FBI on mr beast

It’s happening

HES IN PANDORAS VAULT

elder guardian jumpscare

My god the last time I saw this room technoblade was streaming

Disclaimer I was not interested at all in jacks pov so I will not be understanding any references to his own lore. Manishroom. Appears to hold emotional weight

“Wonder where all my friends are (opens tab) ……..oh. Guess I’m here alone.”

“Legitimately emotional. God this is so fuckin’ stupid bro…..I actually got sad. Toby gave me this mushroom on [my] very first day [on the server]”

Calls joining the dsmp as the beginning of the career he has now (affectionately)

Does not know how he got in this prison or how to get out. Trying to remember Sam’s secrets /hj

HES CALLING TOMMY OJ THE PHONE FOR HELP. Tommy is in the bathroom

The phone at the mic. We’re truly back

Jack lost a bet to Tubbo (You Laugh, You Loose) and that’s why he’s on the server now

Surprised that it survives intact to this day. “So I’m actually uh. Trapped in the prison. And I think [Tommy] had OP— not to spoil the illusion”

Tommy never sucked up enough for OP. He was a true bad boy

“Fuck me, man” -Tommy realizing he’s gotta log on to the dsmp

“It’s like looking a dead child in the eyes” -tommy

“Yeah I expected to laugh at that dead child! And now here I am feeling real remorse” -jack

“Oh, christ…….” -tommy getting on

Jack very nearly leaked the dream smp IP in the year of our lord 2024

Tommy was in fact getting ready for bed and has been thrust back into the horrors of his OC

I can’t tell if this horrid audio lag is legit or intentional for lore. The dsmp streamers have returned to gaslighting— oh no it’s legit he’s trying to fix it lmao

Tommy does not have OP on the dsmp but Toby does

Jack is ringing toby

Toby is not picking up

Near leak number 2

TUBBO ACQUIRED

Toby is coming

The DSMP remains a viewer spawnrate hack

The prison has been broken for ages

TUBBO ONLINE

“Everyone’s logging on to break me outta the prison. I gotta put on my lore music”

He has initiated his lore music

Toby is experiencing technical difficulties

Best lore stream ever

Discussing the ending. Mixed feelings on it

This server is so laggy

It will not let Tubbo in

Jack is mortified at pinging the DSMP discord server. However he is threatening to dm badboyhalo to get out of this place

TUBBO LOST HIS OP

toby has departed.

Bad is busy. Jack is dming a secret server operator guy that he hasn’t talked to in years

“We can at this point only pray”

“Get Phil do it” -chat

Jack is refusing. I would die. WAIT HE IS

SECRET GUY PULLED THROUGH

HE HAS BEEN TELEPORTED

WE ARE BACK

Man. The random messes in the sky…..

“IT WAS COOL?!” Jack seeing Las Nevadas

The lag is insane

I’m not being dramatic this is literally the first time I’ve ever seen the inside of the casino

Tommy has rejoined

I think they’re entering lore mode

It’s begun

Jack has canonically been alone at the casino this entire time

“We can make it canon that I’ve been here the whole time” -jack

“Chat, L’Manburg doesn’t exist anymore. We can’t go back there. Now let’s win big” -jack

He has semi broken the roulette wheel. He freaks out, like man who’s lived his life in solitude at that table for years. He walks outside. He gasps,

“Is that…t-t-t-tommy?” -c!jack

c!tommy has arrived.

c!tommy is asking “seriously, what happened”

c!jack is having him fix the wheel

All Jack cares about is the wheel. You can practically hear Tommy. They (characters) are back

He’s following tommy somewhere

“I have a house. It’s nice.” -c!tommy

c!Jack knows he could just take the money but he’s been surviving off the thrill of gambling

c!Tommy moved far away from the central zone. Brings back too much. Feels unreal seeing it again

“Joy, fun, sadness, pain, too much of it all” -c!tommy

They’re approaching the community house.

Oh my god

Are they going where I think they’re going

I know this path

I’m going to explode. Jack doesn’t know where they are

c!tommy doesn’t live here

“No. Oh god, no” - c!tommy at the idea of living here

HE COMES HERE A LOT THOUGH

Sidenote what’s crazy is the server remaining intact yet abandoned and tommy just living here in peace, with everyone just gone and jack being surprised to see him here, fits perfectly with my own headcanon of what happened to the group in the end

c!Jack jokes about buying c!techno’s house. Is told it’s techno’s house. Immediately, comedically, backtracks

c!Technoblade doesn’t even live here but c!jack knows to still put respect on that man’s name

He calls techno living here ‘cultural significance’ this is hilarious from a character pov

he looked at the compound and types “o7”

tommy just sure here outside the fence and sits here “as long as he needs to. Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours”

This is making me ill in every context including that of my headcanons

It appears tommy was for retconning the nuke but jack would rather keep it

Jack’s officially called it the epilogue

The nether……

Hes realized his mistake of sprinting on the prime path. Everyones subbing

Bench spotted

SNOWCHESTER.

Reminiscing in his old house

Looked through the nuke lab. Chat is screaming because he didn’t check on Micheal (guys he’s with his honey-vendor dad of course)

Walking through the battlefield of the prison escape. Like he’s trying to murder me

………

Disregard that. Death begins now.

“There it is! The first place I was a part of. Then technoblade nuked it”

“And now I’m here. And this is the ruin.”

To paraphrase: he really came here expecting to make fun; he’s thought of the smp as something behind him, and it is. He came here to have a laugh but it’s…nice. This arc is finally, fully closed. He is planting the Manishroom, the one thing he’s maintained since day 1, in his original L’Manburg house.

“God just— picking through ruins to make this. So…poetic”

“Not even a lore-bit, this just feels like a nice way to close it out. That feels important to me. Thank you for being here,”

“I always felt like part of the [dsmp] group. Now I feel like my own guy. Really is a new arc”

“I didn’t like letting go of the mushroom. Felt like I wanted to cling on to it forever. But I feel like this was the right thing to do.”

Some more personal reminiscing at the end

Returning to the roulette wheel at Las Nevadas; c!Jack Manifold’s final resting place. Getting that big win; all in on red!

#It’s 3am plz appreciate this. No alt for that reason; sorry #dsmp #Dream smp #Jack manifold #c!tommyinnit #c!jack manifold

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yourfavoritepeanutbutter · 5 months ago

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horrible guilty pleasure comfort thing at the moment is reading dsmp fanfics (mainly SBI hurt/comfort) 😔 and it’s just like. UGHHHHH. i miss it so bad. is it bad that i miss like. the dream smp. before everything fell apart and people were shitty. like. i lowkey would kill to experience the joy i did being 13/14 years old in 2020-early 2022 and watching those livestreams. and it’s just like. UGH.

now everyone is weird. the only ones i trust and keep up with anymore are like the ones who were literally teenagers/the age i am now during it (tommy, tubbo, ranboo) and i like keeping up with phil just bc he’s fun and seems polite.

but like. i was never into dream so when stuff came out about him i was like oh yeah fuck him. but nothing will explain the sheer dread when the stuff on wilbur came out. like. i was SOOOO into his music and lovejoy was actually really good imo, as someone who is genuinely into music and not just following along like “oo my favorite youtuber made music” like it was actually GOOD and i showed it to my dad and we tried getting tickets and i was sad i couldn’t and it’s just. what the fuck???

once again. UGH. i miss the vibes. i miss making my dramatic fanart and screaming over the average lore just because it was FUN.

i got close with some of my closest friends and even closer with already close friends by connecting over that little minecraft thing. i have a lmanburg flag folded in my closet and copious drawings of the streamers as their characters. i just miss it.

i feel like i cant find anything with the same vibe either since starting to reread the fanfics. like maybe if i start watching hermit craft? please feel free to leave suggestions!!!!!!!!!

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lelengerine · 1 year ago

Note

RAHHHHH UR STREAMER!HYUCK WORKS OMGGGG THEY JUST PERFECTLY ITCH A PART OF MY BRAIN I SWEAR

feel like we should have one where reader’s streaming but has to do something real quick and hyuck steps in to entertain chat while she’s gone and he just professes his love for her or smthg on stream 🤭🤭🤭

anon your mind is crazy (in a good way) because you got me thinking at 3 am yesterday and i just HAD to write this 😭 gamer!hyuck is literally a part of me now, we are one exo, BUT REALLY thank you so much for the req and i hope this one is to your liking 🤍🤍

in a heartbeat

pairing | streamer!hyuck x streamer!reader

genre | fluff, established relationship, they're playing minecraft just because, use of nicknames for reader (bub, baby) and hyuck (lovie), one cuss, use of she/her pronouns, please lmk if i missed anything!

wc | 0.8k

m.list

“hyuckie, we need the quartz slabs over there- no- two blocks to your left.” you instruct, standing from afar as you watch your boyfriend struggle to follow along.

“like… right here?” he states unsurely as the block in his character’s hand is placed down on a small patch of grass.

a couple of silent seconds pass with you inspecting the placement and how it fits with the entirety of the building design you had in mind, a couple of comments coming in from your viewers as well.

user_01: ahh this build is looking so cute already

user_02: EXACTLY THERE HYUCK WE LOVE THE PERFECTION!!!

“yup, it’s perfect. thank you, lovie!” you exclaim with a giggle, the seriousness in your tone from a few moments prior dropping down as if it was never there.

“i feel like a contract worker, bub.” he lets out a faux whine, simply trying to garner your attention away from building for a few minutes.

“didn’t you sign up for this as my boyfriend, though?” you muse with a cheshire-like smile, right before getting up from your seat.

“no- well, technically that’s not even included in boyfriend privileges!” your boyfriend huffs, continuing on with his work despite his protests. “chat, y/n’s being mean again!”

you only shake your head at him before facing the camera prompted on your monitor. “i’ll quickly go to the bathroom and come back! we’ll work on the rest of the village later.” you bid softly before glancing back at haechan. “don’t do anything stupid, lovie. the last thing i want is a creeper blowing up everything we built today.”

“are you calling me stupid?” haechan retorts back, dramatically hanging his jaw wide open.

your shoulders shrug without much effort, the lackluster response resulting a frown washing over your boyfriend’s plump lips. “you said that, not me- but really, don’t fuck it up, hyuckie.”

with that final reminder, you offer a small kiss to his sullen lips before rushing to the bathroom, a faint clicking noise from the door’s lock being heard by your boyfriend.

he assumes you wont be able to hear him all the way from the bathroom, deciding to speak his mind freely. “gosh, what am i going to do with my baby, chat?”

user_03: we’ve been over this- she’s OUR baby

user_04: YEAH WHAT THEY SAID ^^

user_05: no but really, you guys are so cute :(( banter and all

haechan reads that last comment out, a small smile coming across his features. it’s messages like this he could read forever, if he was being frank with himself.

“you know guys…” haechan starts, pausing on the game for a while. “i think i love y/n.”

user_06: i’d be concerned if you weren’t, you guys r literally dating TT

“i don’t mean it like that! i mean i kinda do, but don’t?” he lets out a small chuckle, the sound dripping with fondness. “i feel like it’s just sunk in fully. i don’t think there could be anyone who’d even come close as a replacement. like, there wouldn’t be anyone else calling me stupid over minecraft, come on now!”

user_07: i think we collectively share the same braincell as y/n on this one

user_08: not u saying this after the continuous creeper explosions in the past hour

“you guys know where i’m trying to get at!” haechan playfully tuts at the viewers, reclining back on his chair a bit. “it’s just different with my baby. i would do things in a heartbeat for her.” he concludes with satisfaction from being able to say that in front of such a large online audience.

“i could never forget about you guys, though! each one of you is important in my life too, y/n just gets the bigger share.” he speaks into his mic before pulling away, content with what he had to say.

user_09: awww lookie he care us :D

user_10: it’s okay, she has special privileges in all our hearts too

“let’s keep it a little secret from our beloved y/n though. i already know she’ll come to me bawling if she heard a peep of what i said.” he adds before the closing of a door is heard from a distance.

“i’m back!” your voice cuts through without warning, startling haechan a little by the way he jumps from his seat. “welcome back, bub.”

“what were you guys talking about without me?” you inquire, wanting to continue the forgotten conversation from where it left off.

“it’s… a little secret between me and chat, right?” haechan’s eyes pans to his screen, reading the incoming replies.

user_11: yep yep!

user_12: sorry y/nnie, hyuck told us to keep it a secret!

“what did you tell them?” you raise a questioning brow at him.

“nothing you need to be concerned about.” he tries to reassure you, a genuine expression taking over his features as he helps you wear your headphones again.

“promise?” you reach your pinky finger out to him, wanting confirmation of some kind, and he already knows his next move.

“promise.” his pinky wraps around yours, the small ounce of warmth making you smile unknowingly. “good. now let’s get back to building!!”

“you heard the boss, everyone.” haechan playfully rolls his eyes, but the action is only for show as he quickly tags along behind your moving character, ready to help you map out that village you’ve been planning—because for you, he’d really do anything in a heartbeat.

#: ̗̀➛ requested!#nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct angst #nct dream angst #haechan fluff #haechan angst #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck angst #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 5 months ago

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s2 episode 9 thoughts

whew! i had a busy day so it's nice to unwind with some scully and mulder time. although by the end of the episode i didn't feel very unwound tbh. it was still time spent with the babygirls, so i can't complain.

so we start with some volcano research. my only note here was "i know a geologist" which is true! shoutout to my one professor. you were chill but i hated that class.

there's a dead guy in the volcano which tbh doesn't seem too surprising... i mean volcanoes are very deadly. but it seems to be one of the dudes involved with the project so that's weird because why would he go down there?

there's this stream going on of the inside volcano and something is disrupting it... hate to see a streamer interrupted :(

then we had the title sequence but for some reason i was wondering, do you think if they got married they'd hyphenate their names... scully-mulder... mulder-scully... does it roll off the tongue? hmm...

so firewalker (the title of our episode) is a robot that goes into the volcano. noted.

here i wrote "holy fuck scully is beautiful". all she was doing was standing there but man.

the scientist who has come to them requesting help is like, this lead scientist named trepkos started this project, and scully says "i always heard he was brilliant", which raises the question: why is scully keeping up with volcano science? nerd

at this point the visiting scientist was explaining how he and trepkos had a professional breakup kinda thing and i'm very sorry for them but i genuinely could not take my eyes off of scully. hope they work it out or whatever. i have bigger priorities.

she wants to get out there and investigate but mulder says "i don't think it's a good idea for you to go" AUGHHH. i am wailing and tearing my shirt. she says that she's fine!!! really!!!

and he has this look on his face that says "i cannot tell this woman what to do, even after she just woke up from a coma, and i never will be able to" and he's very right in that regard

HELICOPTER TIME! mulder is such a gentleman helping her climb out

she has very messy hair at this point and the scientist seems a lot more concerned about his equipment than the fate of the people trapped inside the compound and she seems so thrown off by this

next we have some BIG ASS FLASHLIGHTS!!!! WOOHOO

at this point i made a note that i think i might have been going feral because mulder also looked SO good prowling around that creepy base. and i don't take back my observation but i will psychoanalyze it a bit later. reluctantly.

a creepy dude is hanging around the corner. OH SHOOT he tries to bash mulder's head in and he is MAD "do you always greet people this way?" LMAOOO he took it personally

the other scientists in the base seem to regard the missing trepkos as a threat... hmm...

i really like this jesse character, who is a student and is here to do some research with her advisor

mulder asks for the data on the research trepkos has been doing and she says he destroyed his field journals and computer discs. ahh, computer discs. my old friends. i used to have some games on discs when i was a kid. positive memories.

mulder sees scribbled in some of the notes trepkos didn't destroy that he had written about a "new life form" which honestly kinda happens a lot. like people are always discovering new life forms but the gag is they're beetles. everyday we find new species of beetle. they just won't stop coming. so i'm thinking, well they wanted this to be all dramatic, but statistically it's probably just a volcano beetle this guy found.

mulder and scully have an exchange and again i'm distracted by her freckles but she says he's being paranoid and i'm like. yeah that's kinda his whole deal. mulder being paranoid is like a fork spotted in the kitchen.

so the other scientist who was checking on his equipment was, at this point, killed by trepkos. with a rope. and we get the great closed captions "(neck cracks) (body thuds on ground)" which were very descriptive of the whole process

mulder and scully are having a science based argument on the probability of a silicon-based life form and it was really funny to me because it was a nerd off. and frankly i wouldn't go into a science debate with a doctor but mulder is going full steam ahead. it's getting heated and i'm like damn does this ever lead to them kissing because i can see it happening. anyway she's like no trepkos did not discover a silicon-based life form (spoiler alert: he did)

he's looking around like damn. i'm glad she's back but she's such a pain in my ass <3

scully goes to talk to jesse by knocking on her door and asking to chat and then not waiting for an answer and coming in because that is my girl!!!

jesse says trepkos stopped taking his pills that treat his bipolar disorder and he started being weird, saying they polluted his mind and that she was "polluting his body" which has... implications i prefer not to think about?

(why must we make erotic the bond between a student and their thesis advisor? there is no stronger connection! but. not in this way, tv writers, not in this way. i mean Maybe it wasn't meant that way but it seemed like it was)

mulder is streaming the descent into madness of trepkos because he recorded his ramblings which is probably what my friends on my private story think each time i post. but he's going on about finding a silicon-based life form.

this whole time one of the scientists has been very noticeably coughing and losing his voice and i knew it was gonna go somewhere but all of a sudden he collapses. and mulder yells for scully who is undergoing her shift to Doctor Mode. but we see his neck... pulsate? is that the best word to describe it? augh i don't want to even think about it so we'll leave it there

(jesse was also looking super suspicious but i liked her...)

anyway they put the sick guy on a stretcher and he's down and out until he isn't, and now he's making a RUN for it. he runs and runs and falls in a ditch until a THING takes over his body and explodes. i thought it was a worm at first and it was sososo gross i started sweating. i do not like body horror. the things i endure for these two.

so scully's doing some testing and she's like, yeah this is a silicon-based fungus. and poor jesse is having a nervous breakdown because she has been in this base for 8 months and she just wants to go HOME but now they have to quarantine and i felt so bad for her.

then i remembered the line about her "polluting his body" and things were adding up... and they were NOT looking good for her... no... i cannot do this...

scully's really worried about jesse which is justified because this poor girl is freaking out. but mulder is really worried about scully! he wants to go look for trepkos and he's making excuses why she shouldn't come and finally settles on the need to autopsy the body which he seems to both genuinely believe and also say to keep her back at the base

she knows he's being protective so she says "i'm here and i'm not going anywhere" which is sweet but girl you were in a coma. they had your gravestone made. you are lucky he has not put you in bubblewrap entirely. you can't blame the man for needing you to be safe!!!!

he says he's counting on her and grabs her shoulder with some heavily lingering eye contact that, when i see in gif form, i will surely slam the reblog button upon because. good lord.

jesse is talking to the other guy and he says something like "do what we said" and i'm thinking oh man, they're gonna try to get mulder (spoiler alert: they did not quite do that)

the guy is like "you need a guide to go get trepkos" and i'm even MORE suspicious but his reasoning kind of does make sense- it is a volcano maze, after all- still, when mulder goes with him i was tense

BUT THEN he immediately gets shot with a FLARE GUN? which i did NOT see coming. and trepkos emerges from the back of the volcano caves all burned and wild-looking.

he's covering the newly dead body with gasoline and mulder's asking why he's trying to kill him twice when we see the parasite wriggle in his neck (GAG) so then he shoots him with ANOTHER flare to burn up the evil creature. and he's explaining how if you're exposed to the parasite's spores you're gonna be sick...

and scully is back at the base with jesse... who was exposed... so she's not going to be safe...

and we see jesse in her room gagging and convulsing... oh man... it's not looking good....

trepkos is not letting mulder leave, but mulder does not give a fuck LMAO he says "you're gonna have to shoot me then" and goes to walk out... this man was really thinking "they are NOT gonna take scully from me again" and i know that is exactly right!!!!!

NOOOO the lights go off in the compound........... NOOOOO JESSE ATTACK.....

she's handcuffing her and scully together!!!!!! but scully was smart enough to get her behind a door really fast before jesse collapses and the fungus explodes...... but the handcuffs... was the door open a crack?? was it enough to get her infected???!?!?

mulder BURSTS in to see her handcuffed and she keeps repeating "i'm okay, i'm okay" but he must be so shocked because he asks "you alright?" and gently cups her face and at this point i wanted to do some powerful screaming to let out the things i was feeling

we see trepkos come in and look at jesse's body and he says that he told her how this experience would change her life... and i'm getting callbacks to when mulder told scully it would be a nice trip to the forest, but then the whole evil bugs thing happened in s1 ep20... and i am filled with a deep sadness...

so the duo has been sentenced to a month long quarantine, which i'm sure had to absolutely drive them wild. but i think my mutual wrote a fic on this subject so i just simply have no choice but to go read it now! and i assume that, since there are more seasons, the spores did not actually infect them

(and mulder, who was earlier suggesting time off for scully, must be some mix of terrified that any day now the symptoms will start showing and the end will be near, deeply satisfied that she has been forced into getting rest and healing like he wished, and regretting his words that she should take a break, because here she is taking a break. with him. and they're driving each other crazy)

we see trepkos hiking back into the volcano maze with jesse's body and it was actually really sad :(

overall a good episode, another one in the vein of s1 eps 8 and 20 where there is some sort of contagion and we must figure out from where it started and to whom it has gone... but the formula in these episodes keeps me on the edge of my seat and allows for a convergence of doctor scully and protective mulder, two things i am deeply invested in seeing. and seeing mulder try and keep her away from the case after her whole incident made me emo as hell!!!! he is never going to let her out of his sight again unless he has to go keep her safe by finding the wild man in the volcano!!!!!! and even that backfired!!!! ugh my heart!!!!! i love them so deeply!!!

rip my girl jesse i thought u were rad in the brief time we knew each other

#mulder: “you should take a break scully” the universe: lmao bet. quarantine be upon ye.#i'm sure they had a lovely time. i give it 2 days before they loathed each other #but i'm sure it was on and off. they probably talked and watched a lot of bad tv and talked and. well what do you get in a quarantine?#like a real fbi bio quarantine? do you get a landline and some board games? call and catch up with friends? a deck of cards?#solitaire round the clock? it's 1996 so they were sadly a few years off from being able to play neopets :(#i'm sure the fbi has some books but they can't be that interesting. truth or dare? man. much to ponder.#they probably only had old magazines and fbi issued clothes to wear. absolutely roughing it.#so they must have talked talked talked. about the past and the future and the in between. hmm.#juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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slasheddreams · 4 months ago

Text

Internet Overdose [ bag of marshmallows / broken glass / blood rain ]

please proceed with caution !! ⚠️ If you’re sensitive to any of the below, please read with care !! Don't force yourself to read, and if you choose to read it, please take care of yourselves 💕 and if you decide to read this, and get upset, you have no one to blame but yourself. You've been warned.

content warning for: [ inspired by Needy Streamer Overload and the Internet Overdose Ending ] [ brief mentions of doxxing, mentions of paparazzi/stalking, mentions of harassment, mentions of puking, descriptions of being watched, mentions of medication and overdose, implications of self-harm and harm/murder, etc. ]

Please take only the recommended internet dosage~ ♥︎

“Ame. Ame! Ame, are you even listening to me?”

Placing his hands on his waist, the off white haired boy shook his head in disappointment. Looking up slightly, the purple haired girl sighed.

“I’m busy. Trying to get the confirmation for YOUR trip to the music studio, actually. Can I help you?”

“… You can start by paying more attention to me~ I’m a needy streamer, Ame~ I’m YOUR needy streamer, even <3”

Winking, the boy giggled as Ame rolled her eye in annoyance. Clasping her hands on the desk, she waited silently. After a moment, the boy laughed sheepishly.

“… I’ve been feeling a little sluggish as of late. My name’s been popping up a little bit of everywhere..! Some of it is good… and some of it not so much.”

Wringing his hands nervously, he stared at the ground with a nervous expression. Leaning back, he laughed weakly. Raising a brow, she reached out, placing her hand on top of his.

“Do you need to take a break? I can cancel tonight’s stream while we’re still ahead.”

The words “take a break” resonated in the streamer’s mind, like crashing tidal waves against his conscious. His chest tightened at the thought. Take a break? And undo all that hard work he had put in? It was just a little stress, nothing he couldn’t handle! Nothing some alone time before a stream couldn’t fix.

Squeezing his hands gently, Ame stood up carefully. Untangling his locked fingers from one another, she rubbed her thumb against the palm of his shaky hands. She always seemed to take care of him when he couldn’t take care of himself. She was more than his roommate. More than just his moderator. She was his friend. Even if he sometimes found himself wishing for more.

“… Naa! Why would I, the internet’s darling angel, ever need to take a break? I just wanted to tell my darling Ame how I’m feeling~ is it a crime to tell Moderator Ame things! Gasp! Am I going to internet jail!?”

Gasping, he placed his hand over his chest, shaking his head and dramatically stumbling around . Turning over his heel, he stumbled back, dramatically landing on top of Ame’s lap. She yelped, then, facepalmed in annoyance. Wrapping an arm around Ame’s shoulder, he nuzzled up against the smaller girl.

“Honey Buns, relax! I’ve got it all under control!”

“Angel… is your idea of having things under control smoking magic grass until your mind is too numb to perceive problems?

Laughing nervously, Angel sat up straight before stumbling out of Ame’s reach. Forcing a smile, he pointed at the paper in front of Ame’s desk with twinkling eyes.

“Didn’t you say you were trying to get the confirmation for the studio visit with Miss Robynn? You should get back to that, while I get ready for the next stream!”

Silence fell between the two roommates, hanging heavily in the air. It almost felt suffocating to Angel. He felt sick to his stomach. Trying to confide in his dear friend, only to backpedal, and not take himself seriously… he felt like such a joke.

…

I hope Ame isn’t upset because of me.

---

Sitting down in his room, Angel’s brows furrowed. Everything he needed to start the stream laid in front of him, the clothes, the makeup, the tweeter account for K-Angel. His eyes fell on Tweeter, the cacophony of voices and anons, swirling in hatred and vitriol, all aimed towards one person.

Him.

He didn’t understand, how could people be so hateful and cruel? He was the internet’s angel, yes, but he was still a person. His heart ached. Reaching over, he grabbed the pieces for his K-Angel persona. Even if he didn’t want to stream today, K-Angel would be streaming for all their adoring fans. And he couldn’t leave them hanging, no.

Pulling his computer close to his chest, he opened up his tweeter for K-Angel, tapping his fingers against his lips in deep thought. Eventually, once they had the budget and resources to do so, he'd turn over the tweeter account to a marketing professional. It should have made things easier for him, yet... He shook his head with a frown.

"Hey, cuties! It's your favorite angel! I'll be streaming shortly! I hope to see you there! ♥︎"

It didn't take long for the vitriol and venom to roll in.

Running his hands through his hair, he laughed hollowly. Closing his eyes, he mumbled. His eyes began to water, yet he bite his tounge. He could handle a little hate. He had to. Looking up at his computer, watery eyes fell onto the packet of Embian by his laptop's side. Hmm... Well, there's nothing a little embian couldn't fix, right?

Picking up the packet of Embian, he paused. His fingers twitched, he glanced at the chat with Ame. Maybe... just maybe he could try to reach out again...

...

Hah. He wished he could. Popping the Embian, he threw his head back, giggling with a smile. Rolling his neck, cocking it to the side, he cleared his throat.

"Hey, cuties!"

Smiling, he waved to the audience. Fake. All of it.

They despised him, and he despised them. They were nothing more than goddamned cowards. They only knew how to drag others down, they were only capable of causing harm, because their lives held such little meaning outside their own existence.

The instantaneous hate comments proved his point.

"Why would you say something like that... Seriously... What the hell is your problem?" Sneering, Angel rubbed his face in frustration. They were always like this, hating and bitching for no other reason than to do so. "Don't you see that I'm over here, busting my ass trying to stream every day? You goddamned cowards."

Rage bubbled in his voice, slight agony behind each word. Squeezing his arms tightly, he couldn't help it. His body ached from hours alone, just his thoughts and razor blade. Cutting deeper than any words could. Slicing deeper than any memory was capable of doing. Hatred welled up from deep within his chest, his hands trembling.

"All you know is how to drag others down with you, like leeches, like parasites. To be honest... I'm sick of it. I mean, how empty is your life, that you have to bully someone online like a cracker barrel crackhead harassing the waitress?"

Gritting his teeth, his eyes fell on the chat. A slew of comments, friendly and not, flooded the chat. However... one commenter caught his eye.

rain_candy >> ... Angel ?

... He felt like he was going to be sick. His throat burned as he clasped his hands over his mouth. Gagging, he tried to suppress the rising bile in his throat to no avail.

...

The stream cut out before anyone could make much sense of the transpiring events. His palms trembled, covered in the sins of his own anger. He felt ill. Shaking, he grimaced as he looked at himself in the glare of the monitor. It was all over him. He felt gross. There was only fluid, thankfully, but he didn't feel very comforted.

Tears welled up in his eyes, hands trembling in panic. He barely recognized himself.

"Oh my god, Angel- Holy shit, you look terrible-"

Grimacing at the voice coming from behind him, he coughed. Everything burned. He felt so stupid. Groaning, he whined as Ame lifted a towel to his mouth, gently patting away the vomit from his face.

"Ough... it's everywhere... Gross... Let me get you new clothes so we can wash those as soon as possible."

... he felt a bit of a fool. Yet, he couldn't help but lean into the gentle and caring touch. The soft hands, the towel, the love and care and attention. He probably looked extremely pathetic, shaking and in tears. He felt so riled up... and he couldn't justify any of it.

"... Sorry..."

Tugging the vomit-covered clothes off his person, Ame grimaced as she scooped them into the towel. Sighing, she pointed towards the shower. She didn't have to say anything, he already knew. He felt too ill to not take one.

Fumbling out of the chair, he stumbled out of the streaming room. There was so much happening in such a short time. He felt like everything was falling apart. It was so painful. Why was he such a mess? He couldn't even take care of himself. He felt so guilty.

---

Sometimes, it takes a little more than a good night's rest and care from a dear friend to get better. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she ran her hand along the back of the sleeping streamer's neck. Dragging her nails lightly through his hair, her eyes fell on his phone. Constantly flashing, constantly buzzing. Tweeter occupied his home screen like it was a virus. Shifting onto her knees, Ame scooped up the buzzing phone. Disgust, hatred, and vitriol filled his home screen. Did they even sleep?

Shaking her head, she shifted back onto the side of the bed. Grabbing his hand gently, she pressed his thumb against the home button. Unlocking the phone, she entered Tweeter, she grimaced in pain. A feed filled to the brim with hatred... no wonder he fell so violently ill.

...

"Ame... Ame..."

Leaning against the doorway, Angel whined softly. Stumbling into Ame's office, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind. Nuzzling his face into her neck, he whined again.

"Ame... Ame, I'm hungry..."

"Make yourself something to eat then."

Mumbling softly, Ame reached up, gently placing her hand on his head. Earning another whine from the boy, she shook her head. Tightly gripping onto her, Angel huffed again.

"Nuh-uh. It's your turn to cook, I have to get ready for tonight's stream, duh."

The stream... Her brows furrowed in frustration as she thought about it. He had made himself sick because he felt the need to stream and puked on camera as a result. It was painfully clear he was destroying himself for something that didn't seem to be worth it anymore. Having fun wasn't worth it if it was inflicting pain.

"... Maybe you shouldn't. At least, not right now... I mean, just looking at my tweeter timeline and /st/... I think you need to take a break."

"... I can't do that. We have no other source of revenue. And, if I can't handle a little bit of hate, what good am I? I'm fine! It's fine. We're..."

Nausea hit his chest like tidal waves as his eyes fell on the open tweeter feed on his roommate's phone.

>> I WILL PROTECC KANGEL >> I love kangel, and I love seeing cute girls puke, so I'm happy! >> ive always hated kangel lmaaaooo

Gagging, he let go of Ame, stumbling backward. Clasping his hands over his mouth, bile rose from his throat. Running out of the room, Ame could hear Angel emptying out his already empty stomach. Sighing, she stood up, following him out of the room. Kneeling down by his side, she gently rubbed his back. Groaning, Angel slumped over on his side, laying his head on Ame's lap. Tears welled up in his eyes as he choked back a sob. He felt like shit. Someone. Anyone.

Save me.

...

"Maybe if I just try and stream like normal, maybe no one will really care! I mean, internet phenomena pass really quickly. In a week's time, I'm sure only internet freaks will remember, and it says more about them than it does me."

Laughing weakly, he tugged on the edge of his collar. His usual outfit was still drying from the events of last night, so wearing that was out of the question. Thankfully, K-Angel has many alternative outfits he could wear. His chest still ached, his throat burned in protest, his eyes watered slightly, but he couldn't let that stop him. Ame didn't have a job, and for now, this was their only source of income.

Laying his head in his hands, he tried to ignore the constant clicks and dings on his computer. Texts, DMs, posts, notifications, screen after screen after screen, god, why wouldn't they be silent? Groaning, he mumbled to himself. He knew, sure, if this didn't work out in the end, he could always fall back on his parents and sister. Sure, it wasn't the most ideal situation for him, one of his fathers was wholly absent, always at work, always off at some bar, always with someone else. His sister was okay, sure. A little mischievous, sure, and always a bit off-kilter (something about a thing named Aha?) but she was far from the worst. And his other father... he didn't want to think about it. But, at least he had somewhere to fall back. Ame didn't.

He hated to think about it like this. But, for Ame, he was all she had. He was all she had left, and he was the person she entrusted with his safety. She had no family, no safe spaces to go, and her memory seemed to short-circuit more and more often. If he wasn't careful, there was a chance she'd leave, and never be seen again. That thought scared him. He couldn't help it, he felt... oddly drawn to her. He wanted to be able to give her a good life, it's why he got into streaming in the first place. If he could make it big, he could always care for her and himself. And he'd never have to rely on anyone else, ever again.

But the internet is a place he despised. Even while being at its mercy. He hoped it exploded someday.

...

"Heya, cuties! It's me, your darling internet angel! Here for you through thick and thin ♥︎"

He was usually good at faking it, just enough to get through to the ending of a stream. He'd done it for 19 years on end, just enough faking to get by. Be a functional member of society, be kind, polite, and courteous. Societal norms...

Those only apply to misfits, don't they? And misfits can't win with normies. Ever.

He could feel his stomach churning again. At least this time, Ame made him take a bucket wherever he went.

"Let's get onto today's topic! Which is... corned beef!"

He's never actually had corned beef before. He didn't know why in particular this was what he decided to talk about. Ame has some in the fridge... maybe he should ask Ame if he can try some.

... If there was any more left by the time he remembered to ask.

"Corned beef is quite odd, right? It can come in a plastic package, or in a can...! But it's still the same thing... and another thing, it's actually called brisket in some stores. I mean, who was in charge of marketing there?"

Shaking his head, he placed a hand on his chin. "Brisket, the version of corned beef that comes in plastic packages rather than cans, comes in many shapes and forms! Sometimes, it's thinly cut" - he could see the hate comments flooding in, seriously, his puke? Talk about beating a dead horse - "or a thicker cut, and the quality, it's just never consistent! I mean, come on" - more comments, begging him to puke, to ruin himself all over again. Hah. He wouldn't give them the chance - "And the canned stuff? Looks like a cold corpse, bread's dead cousin! And corned beef hash? What even is that! No, like, seriously, what is it supposed to be used for?" These comments were getting on his fucking nerves. Seriously. Get a grip, commentators.

"... Never mind, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's talk about something else!" Pointing at the camera, he sneered. "Hey, hey commentator "puke-a-cola", I have a question for you! Do you know what's more confusing than corned beef?" Tilting his head, he relished in their panic. Online trolls are never prepared for a personal callout. "Hey, hey commentator "karma-wheel", do you know the answer? Or, or, "weed-killer"? Come on, don't any of you have the answer? Or, are all your brains filled with puuukeee? Gross, squishy, there's so little in there."

>> Ugh, attacking your fans? Talk about pathetic lol

Furrowing his brows in frustration, he scoffed.

"If I'm sooo pathetic, then, stop watching, crackhouse cockguzzlers! Close the damn stream! Or are you sooo obsessed with me, trying to gain a glimpse of me puking?! Perverts!"

Gripping his fist, his teeth sank into the skin of his thumb. Grumbling to himself in frustration, he laughed bitterly. The comments kept rolling in, one atop another. Shocked, offended, hateful, concerned, all sorts of comments rolled in. His stomach stirred, a wave of disgust and hatred boiling within himself. He hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them-

"I mean, what are you? A sadist? Oh, I bet you reallllyyyyy love to see others suffer! You just get off to their sobs, their pain, and SUFFERING. You disgust me, you're sick, you're sick, you're sick!"

He couldn't hold it back any longer. Any more and they'd get exactly what they'd want. He can't control his body, but he'll be damned if they get it.

...

The stream ended abruptly. She could hear him in the background, wrenching, puking his guts out. She felt bad for him, she wanted to help him, she really did. But...

He didn't want help. He was always too proud to accept it.

Sighing, Ame pondered. Does she want to go over, and see how he's faring? He was pretty angry with those commentators... she didn't want him to be angry with her too. Mumbling to herself, she curled up in her wheely chair, she pulled out her phone. Leaning on her fist, Ame couldn't help but mindlessly scroll.

If he wants my help... he'll come to me.

Scrolling through Tweeter, Ame paused a moment. Sitting up in her chair, she narrowed her eyes in worry.

>> His real name is Satoru, apparently. >> wait? Like, the sorcerer? No way! >> I heard he's also a shut-in who always skips out on school! >> and his moderator? I heard he's trapped her in their relationship, she's got no way out even if she wanted.

That... isn't good. No wonder he was so sick as of late.

... she didn't know if she should tell him or not. That might cause a spiral. Well, if he finds out on his own... either option isn't quite ideal.

---

"Urgh..."

Why were there so many eyes everywhere? Watching him, staring at him, waiting for him. Watching, observing, staring, witnessing... Was he even safe in his own home anymore? The scratching on the floor, the taps on the window, the nails on the wood... make it stop. Please. Someone. Anyone.

Running his hands through his hair, he grimaced, hissing in pain. The endless ping-ing from his laptop felt like a dawning, bellowing, shaking the room like a giant slamming its hands into the ground. Shaking an already unstable structure. Was everything falling around him? He felt so scared.

>> a metube with no angel... >> angels don't really exist... >> You won't believe why the famous streamer "OMGkawaiiangel" is being flamed online! >> Apparently people found out K-Angel's identity! And he's the son of a famous sorcerer! Who would have known? The plot thickens!

Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT-

Gripping his hair in panic, a weak sob escaped his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes, a painful feeling filling up his chest. The doorbell - [ ding! ding! ding! ] - oh please, not the doorbell. Ringing in his ears, ringing, ringing, ringing, and ringing. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much. It's a burning, raw sensation, knawing at his skin. - [ ding! ding! ding! ] - It tears at his skin, a sickening sensation, painful and gruesome. And the tapping on the window - [ tap! tap! tap! ] - god god make it stop. Leave me alone LEAVE ME ALONE - [ tap! tap! tap! ] - please please PLEASE.

"... Angel?"

The eyes, in the corners of the room, from the windows, from the computer. They're all there, staring at him, watching him. Never looking away, never blinking, always watching. Aggressive, knawing dread. Tearing him apart, bit by bit, piece by piece. A dissection, all for your entertainment !

"Angel??"

Please. Please, god. If there even was a god out there. Please. His hands gripped the bloody box cutter tighter. ... when did he get a hold of that? Everything was blending together. His wrists hurt. His skin burned. Maybe it would help him feel better. It didn't. He was desperate to feel something. Anything.

"Angel? Where did you go...?"

Were they already inside? God, no, please. Anything but invading his personal space. Ugh, there really is no end to them, like gross little maggots, writhing inside his internet-ridden corpse... the visual made him feel a little sick. I can hear their footsteps outside. His eyes fell on the bloody box cutter. Sharp and small. He could rule it as self-defense, they stepped into his property. This would be their fault. They deserved every scar. They both did.

"Angel-! Angel!"

...

Blood dripped from a small, thin gash on her cheek. A crimson-red liquid welled up and overflowed, staining rosy cheeks in foul blood. Tears pricked the edges of her eyes, a tight feeling rising in her chest. The box cutter lay only an inch away from her face, gripped in his shaking hand, thick and viscous blood dripping silently from the tip of his blade and the wounds from his arm... and onto the ground.

Die. You don't deserve to be in this world, in my world. Get out, get OUT.

Die. Stop screaming, stop crying. It's so grating, so painful. This is your fault. You came to my house, through my door, into my room to torment me. This is your fault.

Die. Stop struggling. You asked for this! Watching me so closely, never turning your gaze to anyone or anything else. Didn't you want this? My attention? My gaze? I'm giving it allllll to you! Cut by cut. slice by slice. Vessel by vessel. Craving out a personal autograph, just for you ♥︎

Squelch ♥︎ Squelch ♥︎ ! Squishy ♥︎ Squish ♥︎ ! Tearing. Dismantling. Dissecting. Dying ♥︎ Dying. Dying. And then...

... pure silence. All pure silence now, not a sound in earshot. No eyes in sight. No tapping on the windows. No people at the door. Just, pure and uninterrupted bliss. Was this heaven? At that moment, all he could hear was the sound of Ame's blood, soaking the bedroom floor.

Kill me.

---

"I didn't know how to care for a guppy fish. So, I did a lot of research! But it died really quickly anyway. I don't even remember its name. I wish I was like that guppy."

His words no longer seemed to be making much of any sense. As of late... it was like he was lost in his own mind. I was so worried he'd do something drastic. That he'd harm himself, that he'd do something that he could never come back from, that he'd be unretrievable from his own mind.

"Heya, cuties! I have some unfortunate news today before the stream starts!"

He held a small portrait in his arms. Blood soaked the inner frame, and a small, frail-looking girl rested inside, behind the glass. She was a small, petite girl, with deep purple hair, soft purple eyes, snow like freckles.

"My one and only moderator left me! I don't know where she went... But, my withered pride won't take me until I'm satisfied ♥︎ So, streams will be planned and moderated by yours truly until I can find someone to cover ♥︎ meaning... well, there might be a couple delays in the foreseeable future... so, stay by my side, cuties ♥︎ As I guide you to the light."

There was a smile on his face, a soft grin matched with empty eyes. The light that shone in them has long since faded. But, he felt nothing, but pure ecstasy. Like he was floating upon some imaginary clouds, far above where anything could reach him. This was true, unadulterated bliss.

"You know, bad people are often referred to as "demons", right? You know, "so-and-so is a DEMON lol" and whatnot? But, is that really true?"

"Demons only killed like... 10 people tops. Meanwhile... God killed like 2 million! That's a lot more than any demon has ever done!"

"Soo... if someone does something reaaaally bad... doesn't it make more sense to call them God?"

.....

Jrypbzr gb gur Vagrearg Natry'f Fgernz!

Abj, fur vf gehyl unccl.

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ENDING ?? - INTERNET OVERDOSE ♥︎

>> Try Again? > Yes!! > No!!

#[ rain candy // moderator ]#[ blood rain - reader's choice ]#[ NEEDY STREAMER OVERLOAD - NSO AU ]#[ K-Angel ♥︎ - Angel ]#[ rain_candy ♥︎ - Ame ]#writing #oc writing #[ that took a while i hope its. good? ]#[ it's a lot darker than i usually would go for but I like. wanted to write this idea so uhm. i sowwy. ]#[ also please don't force yourselves to read it if the warnings make you uncomfortable! it's dark I know. ]#[ you can support me by taking care of yourself ♥︎ have a good day/night angels ]

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microtyalm13 · 6 months ago

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how you been ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡

I've been using twitch a lot recently so now I have two favourite streamers and i might have a thing for american guys

How do your characters speak? Like, accents speech tics etc...

Anyways, have a nice day ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

-- 🍞anon

hi darling anon <) i'm good! i'm living alone rn, trying to go out more, looking after the house and my cat. so yeah, a little busy, but very much content. just returned from the trip to our dacha with my aunt and my grandma, actually! <З very eepy but damn do i love nature and women... good for you btw! i don't really watch twitch streamers... besides kwite lmao

so,

How my Ocs Speak! or smth i haven't thought too much about it there could be errors and mistakes bc i am TIREDDDD

gavriil. — you think with looks like his he might sound like an actual angel singing to you while you ascend but NO. his voice very much HURTS. it's always echoes, almost vibrates and sounds like it's coming from your head. he can change it ofc and tone it done for you a little so you can talk to him without headaches <,,) somewhat official and ominous at first, wants to sound as menacing as possible for his first impression. but then, down the line and if he likes you enough, he'll be very casual and nonchalant, throwing in curses and all that. doesn't have a particular accent because bro literally knows every language on earth and more, sounds a little uncanny if anything. artificial maybe. but still just as lively, teasing and sometimes dramatic. purrs... sometimes. can speak directly into your mind and read it too.

xiaolong. — has the most enjoyable voice out the bunch. velvet, melodic, charming. always sounds very convincing and can sell you anything. literally the perfect host. languid and mellow, has a habit of humming "mmm"; "hmm?";"mmhm" and sighing. his voice claim is john park, korean va for espresso cookie, and i think xiao himself has a korean accent. very expressive but also very collected. won't say anything unnecessary. rarely curses.

taisya\tasechka. — jumbled and gurgled speech. absolutely horrid voice, but he usually speaks slowly so you can more or less understand what he says. breathes really hard and swallows words when excited. doesn't speak unless spoken to, and even then gives short, vague answers. no intonations whatsoever. prefers to just shake/nod his head or point and gesture with his hands if he wants something. has an ability to purr too but his version is a little more fucked up.

derzena. — monotone, expressionless, blunt. you will never understand if she's joking or not because this woman is like a BRICK WALL her face and voice never betray her. voice is raspy but pretty quiet, speaks slowly and steadily, clearly thinking everything over in her head before saying something. mimics human speech\animal noises to lure in men that are trespassing on her grounds to later eat them 💪 with her beloved often makes those quick "ekekeke" noises (like the ones cats make when they see a bird or smth...) to show affection. SAVE ME BIG cRYPTID WOMAN

veniamin. — rough, gruff voice. clicks his tongue so loudly he can probably shatter the fucking windows. exasperated and dramatic at all times. usually pretty loud, groans and sighs all the time when annoyed. in the mornings his voice is so raspy it's startling. curses a lot. mocks people's voices when he's angry at them or tries to put them in their place. or just to be a little annoying. HORRIBLE at singing yet does it all the time when he walks around in his house wearing nothing but a robe.

livy. — rarely speaks, usually resorts to clicks and chirps, maybe even hisses if threatened. doesn't have a lot of practice in speaking actual words, so it might be a little hard at first. at least for you, because he seems to understand you perfectly fine, it's you who doesn't understand what mothman wants from you half the time. surprisingly soft but hoarse voice... very warm sounding, idk. pauses and forgets the right words sometimes, but it does not stop him from teasing YOU.

have a good day <]

#microtya's kids #microtya: gavriil #microtya: xiaolong #microtya: taisya #microtya: derzena #microtya: veniamin #microtya: livy #terato #monsterfucker

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anonymous-dentist · 1 year ago

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saw that you had some discussion about the pepito retconning and otipep. i was very surprised to see people hating it so much, and am disappointed by it being retconned.

i read the situation as pepito throwing a tantrum, because pepito is a small child and small children do stuff like that all the time. not pepito not actually wanting roier as a parent. little kids are dramatic all the time.

otipep does not exist and never existed, regardless of retcon. it was the explanation roier made to explain to himself why his child was having a tantrum because he wasn’t in a place where he could deal with it. it’s not reality, they’re not separate characters. it’s just pepito.

You see, the thing about Otipep is that he directly insulted the streamer, and he refuse to "Yes-And" with him, and that's the number one thing in any kind of improv storytelling. They were a different admin from what the audience and Roier were used to, and that's fine, we're used to it. What isn't fine is that Otipep refused to work with Roier and insulted him and ignored him and walked away every time ccRoier tried explaining what he and Admin 07's Pepito had been doing for the past few days. Call it a tantrum, that's fine, but it's also a dick move when it's your literal job to work with the streamers to tell a story. Look at the way other eggs have thrown tantrums, and then look at Otipep.

You'll be hard-pressed to find a Hispanic fan that actually liked the Otipep Day and that's because Otipep came in and immediately and actively destroyed days' worth of storytelling and wrecked a cc's attempts at a story to the point of the cc giving up on the rp for the day and going to build and even getting off the server a little earlier than planned because like? Okay? Sure, destroy yet another one of Roier's planned Lores, it's not like people have been doing that since the first week of the server.

The only people that I've seen defending Otipep at all have been English-Onlies who saw Otipep's English sign and bed basically screaming to the world "ROIER IS A TERRIBLE FATHER AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADOPT ME! PREFERABLY SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I TYPED THIS SIGN IN! NOT THE LANGUAGE ANY OF MY PARENTS SPEAK!"

And what happened after people saw that sign? Well, English fans all went "Well this obviously proves that Roier is a terrible father and that Bad should adopt Pepito instead. He's been a bad father all along, and he's just as evil and insane as Cellbit is." This, in turn, started the process of the Hispanic fandom yet again losing a character on the server; at this point, it's legit just Roier and Quackity because Pol isn't allowed online for Lore Reasons and qMaxo is dead and everybody else just doesn't log on as often. Do you see the problem here?

Roier describing Otipep to Richarlyson legit made Richas' admin go "WHAT????" because that was Not professional behavior on Otipep's Admin's part. And that's the biggest thing here, I think: the lack of professionalism at play when you're hired to play your part and work with people "in the spotlight" (aka the streamers) but you aren't cooperating at all. It's like going to work at a grocery store and being told you're working the registers that day and going "No, actually, I'm going to stock shelves". You don't do that at work, and you definitely don't do that live on stream in front of 10k+ viewers.

I work in childcare. I know a tantrum when I see it, and Otipep could be seen as one. But you have to keep in mind the meta aspects here and think, wow, this is fucked up from a meta perspective! Going out of your way to ruin the fun of someone else just because you want the story to go a certain way? Not to be tolerated in any kind of collaborative setting. My dnd groups have kicked people from the table for less.

It got to the point where Quackity himself has to say it isn't canon, and, well. I think we can see that there was a genuine problem.

#asks!#anon!#does that make sense anon?

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raibebe · 2 years ago

Text

Moving foreward

Genre: fluff Words: 2.457 Prompt: Samoyed hybrid Jeno x fem. reader

Warnings: unspecific allusions to childhood trauma, allusions to genetic modification

A/N: MY BABY IS BACK! And more baby and insecure than ever because this is set very early in the story and we get to learn some of his background! Bonus points for everyone who can guess which game he was playing. Also please appreciate the header, I ripped my hair out for streamer Jeno.

Hybridverse masterlist

“Wow, I can’t believe they’d just end it like that,” Jeno shook his head, falling back into his chair as he stared blankly at the ending screen of the game he had been playing on stream, “I need answers. This can’t be it. I know this isn’t it.” “We missed a few clues in the mines and the hospital I think,” he read a comment from his chat, “The mines were so creepy, you can’t blame me for that,” he whined, his ears flattening into his fluffy hair, “I was busy not getting that annoying girl killed even though she deserved it for being an absolute ass.” At that, his chat broke out in laughing emotes. “Am I wrong though?” He giggled, closing the game and enlarging his facecam for the viewers instead, so they didn’t have to look at the menu screen. For the cozy atmosphere that he was always striving for, he pulled up his curated playlist of calming videogame soundtracks.

“So… I kinda didn’t think we’d be able to finish so quickly, so I don’t really have anything else planned,” he admitted, “We could just jump into some other game real quick but I’m not in the mood for any shooters right now and I might launch myself out of my chair when I get jumpscared again.” He scanned the chat for good suggestions for a little while, his eyes darting over to the clock at the bottom of his screen. It was already quite late and the last half an hour of that game had been way too intense. So maybe he could just cut the stream early today and just get some extra cuddles. That would be nice. He’d very much like some cuddles. And maybe some ear scratches.

“Will you be playing ‘No home for us’ once it’s out?” He read out a question from one of his mods. “You know actually,” Jeno sighed, nervously picking at his cuticles, he knew that this question would be coming up sooner or later and that his answer might be unexpected. “I won’t.” Before he could even explain himself, his chat exploded with messages and confused emotes, the messages coming in so fast, twitch was barely able to buffer all of them. “Wait, wait wait, let me explain,” he asked, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, “I think the game is going to be great. From what I’ve seen in the trailers and promotional videos, it’s going to bring attention to lots of valid concerns regarding us hybrids and the graphics are absolutely phenomenal. But… But I think the story will hit too close to home for me. I don’t think I’d be in the right mindset to play this and for my mental health, I’ll refrain from playing it on stream. Maybe I’ll take a look and play it in private so I can tell you guys my thoughts on it at least. But I really can’t do this on stream for my own safety.”

The tone of the chat messages immediately turned from confused to concerned at his words. The game was supposed to be a heavily story-based game following the journey of three different hybrids and it had been praised to high heavens because of that. But especially the story of the female cat hybrid had made the hairs at the back of Jeno’s neck stand up just from seeing the promotional videos and the behind-the-scenes the company had sent him because they obviously wanted hybrid content creators to talk about their game. It was eerily similar to his story even though hers would probably be even more dramatic for obvious reasons of storytelling and would only have a happy ending if you made the correct choices throughout the game. And Jeno already knew that if he were sitting alone in his streaming room, he’d go insane with anxiety over every little choice he had made because he needed this potential happy ending to happen or he’d just end up crying.

“I- I’ve never really spoken about my story and how I ended up here but I know some longtime followers have probably a good understanding of it,” Jeno mused, sipping on his Redbull just to get a sense of comfort from having the stupid metal straw in his mouth. A coping mechanism - and a comparatively healthy one or so his therapist had told him.

“Yeah, my story sadly isn’t the one of the golden retriever hybrid,” he laughed uncomfortably, “No privileged background despite my breed. I- I actually grew up in a shelter for most of my life and I’ll always be incredibly grateful for how good care I was receiving there, the social workers really did their best trying to take care of me and all the others.” “Prestigious breed,” Jeno read the comment flying past, his head tilting in confusion, “What’s that even supposed to mean.” He could only snort. Unsure if he should be angry and tell this person off or if he should’ve just ignored the comment to avoid fueling the discussion further. “I mean I guess Samoyeds are on the rarer side of Hybrids but there’s more to it - to me - than that. Multiple factors go into adoption and- Maybe I should do a whole video about this. With a dramatic title and all.” Jeno cut himself short with a giggle before he could get worked up about it. Some people - humans - just didn’t know what life was like for lots of hybrids. Especially the younger humans who didn’t know much about the history and the continuous fight of Hybrids for basic human rights. And while it was seen as normal for Hybrids to attend college and school nowadays, they still had a long way to go until they’d reach true equality.

“Our family just took in a cat hybrid the other day from a shelter and it has been such a process and a half.” “I’m glad to hear that”, Jeno smiled, “Not that it’s been so hard but that you decided to take someone in need in. And I hope you’ll take the time and effort to try to understand them and learn if they need any special care so you can provide for them. I should really just make a video on this since you’re always so interested in anything hybrid matters. And you really seemed to like the last video where my girlfriend helped to test just how good my sense of smell really is.”

“I’ve actually thought about telling my story multiple times but- But it’s really not a pretty story. And I never wanted my platform to be about me as a person but rather about the games and just having fun and making your days better with it, maybe making some fun content about hybrids with my friend but that’s it. And I already know that if I end up telling my story, people will be nasty about it and tell me that I’m only doing it for attention. But at the same time, this obviously is a huge part of my life and why I am the person I am today and maybe I can do something good for the community if I use my platform to call attention to things like that.”

A soft knock on the door pulled Jeno from his train of thought, his head snapping to where you quietly slipped into the room. Despite the heavy topic feeling like a weight pressing down on his chest, he couldn’t fight the smile that spread on his lips nor how his tail started wagging. “Hi puppy,” you whispered, mirroring his smile. Making sure that your face was out of the camera shot, you stepped into the frame, letting Jeno pull you close with a grip around your waist. “Thought you might need some company,” you explained yourself, shyly waving to the viewers who were welcoming you warmly. “I’m okay,” Jeno promised, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs with your comforting smell. “You think it’s a good idea?” “Telling your story?” In lieu of an answer, he simply nodded, looking up at you from beneath his lashes. Smiling, you playfully scratched beneath his chin, always endlessly endeared with his puppy-like mannerisms.

“I think it could be a really good thing. To shine a light on some stuff people don’t really talk about and to make people pay attention to things they didn’t know existed,” you spoke your mind, “But it will also make you very vulnerable and I don’t know if you feel comfortable doing that. It’s- It’s a heavy topic just like you said and I don’t know what it’ll do to you mentally if you revisit that time.” “So you’re saying that I shouldn’t do it,” Jeno asked, his brows pulled together in a frown. “That’s not what I said,” you smiled, gently rubbing your thumb through the crease to make him stop frowning, “I know you’re much stronger than when we first met and that you grew so much as a person in such a short time but these memories are- they’re traumatic and you know I hate nothing more than seeing you distressed or in pain.”

With a glance to his chat that seemed to just be filled with his cute samoyed heart emote, Jeno took a deep breath, giving in to the urge to bury his face in your stomach, nuzzling into the comforting smell of your laundry detergent and something just inherently you. “I asked Doyoung for my files a while back. I have them here but I didn’t have the courage to look into them.” “Do you wanna do that?” You whispered, carefully taking his headset off so you could card your hands through his silky hair and scratch your nails gently against his scalp and along the base of his ears to relax him. “I think I do,” he whispered back, “I wanna do this. I need to know.” “Then I’ll be here to support you,” you smiled, resisting the urge to kiss the crown of Jenos head to keep your face off of the internet, “For every step of the way.” “Love you,” he mumbled into the fabric of your shirt but you were so used to hearing the words from him that you understood them anyways. “Love you too, pup.” Playfully, you pulled his chair off-screen, swallowing his surprised yelp with a sweet kiss. “I have to end the stream,” he sighed against your lips but contradictory to his words, he stole another kiss that you couldn’t help but smile into, butterflies erupting in your stomach like it was the first kiss you shared. “I’ll wait in bed,” you promised, carefully rolling Jeno back into the frame of his facecam.

Smiling fondly, you watched him stumble over his words with a pinkened face as he said goodbye to his followers. “I- Uhm- Yeah. Oh god,” he giggled, putting his hands on his cheeks to cool down his burning face, “Yeah. I- Like. Uhm. Bye?” At his flustered stuttering, the heart emotes in his chat were replaced by laughing emotes and only then did Jeno notice that his mods must have changed the chat to emote-only mode possibly due to the comments either being mean or it becoming so many, they couldn’t monitor all of them for his mental health. “We can leave the emote-only mode now I think,” he smiled gently, “Everyone, say thank you to our mods for keeping this a safe and positive space.”

“How dare my favorite streamer make me feel single,” he read out a comment, immediately feeling more blood rush to his face, “Well, yeah for those who don’t know or haven’t suspected, that was my girlfriend and I guess we’re going to try and figure out more about my story and stuff… And eventually, I’ll post a video and share as much as I feel comfortable. To… You know raise awareness and actually use my platform for something else rather than getting jumpscared by scary-looking creatures in an old asylum.” “Hmm, yeah, I don’t know what we’ll do on Friday yet. I have to see if Haechan and Chenle are free, so we can play keep expanding our base in ‘The Forest’ and get some more exploring done for once. Yeah… Oh no, I absolutely haven’t forgotten that Chenle betrayed me and left me by myself with that crazy mutant. I’ll get my revenge.” “So yeah, we’ll let you guys know beforehand if the terrible trio will get together on Friday or if I play something by myself. There is this new ghost-hunting game I wanted to give a shot. But until then, stay safe, be kind and don’t forget to stay hydrated. Bye bye, guys.”

Smiling into the camera and blowing a kiss to it, Jeno turned off his stream. Sighing, he slumped back into his chair for a bit, staring at the empty overlay of his streaming software. He was really going to do this. With his heartbeat picking up and his blood loudly rushing through his veins, he slowly reached out to the bottommost drawer of his desk. The drawer was empty, safe for two things: A thick, light brown file with his name written in Doyoung’s neat handwriting and the stamp of the shelter and an almost sterile-looking white one that just had the number 423 and a logo that resembled DNA splicing printed in black ink. The brown file didn’t worry him too much. Doyoung had already told him that it was mostly his medical records, court cases and documentation of his past failed adoptions. The white file on the other hand gave him chills just looking at it. He didn’t have many memories from when he was a young child - trauma-blocking his therapist had called it - but he could for some reason vividly remember the DNA splicing logo and it was enough to make him sick to the stomach. Gritting his teeth, he picked up the file to put it on his desk. Between all the dark equipment in his room, it stood out like a sore thumb. It clearly didn’t belong here. But whatever was documented in there, it was part of Jeno, no matter how much he hated it. “Tomorrow,” he whispered to no one but himself, pulling his lower lip between his sharp teeth. Tomorrow, he was going to ask you to sit down to look through the file.

Tonight, he only wanted the comfort of your touch. And if he was demanding to be the small spoon that night, scrolling through Twitter to see the cute clips his fans had made of your visit to the streaming room, that was between him and his browser history.

#jeno #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #neowritingsnet #jeno fluff #nct fluff #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios

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