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sinthedrinker · 5 months ago

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Zhongli x F!Reader

Zhongli awoke in the middle of the night, the lack of weight and warmth beside him in bed having roused him. The moon was high, it's light shining through our bedroom window and softly illuminating my silhouette as I paced around the room. I don't know why the night scares me, nothing bad had ever happened to me at night that didn't also happen during the day, but I could not stay asleep or stay comfortable. Sleep aids made me dizzy and sedated, but as long as I could still move my limbs, I would not sleep. Just pace, or scratch and peel at my skin, or talk to myself. Anything to pass the time until the sun rose and I could finally rest. Zhongli was used to this by now and he rose from the bed, wrapping his arms around me and stilling my anxious movement.

"My poor darling. How long have you been up?" He asked softly. I placed my hands over his, interlocking our fingers.

"I can't remember."

"Will you come back to bed with me?" He asked, very gently guiding me back to our bed. My eyes and limbs felt heavy, my head was swimming, but still I could not relax enough to close my eyes and sleep. My anxiety only seemed to worsen, my stomach swirling restlessly and making me fear I would be sick, my heart beating so fast, my body flooding with adrenaline, ready to run from a nameless threat. Zhongli wrapped himself around me, caging me in his large, strong body. He always seemed to radiate warmth and stability, like laying on a boulder that's been kissed by the sun.

"You are safe. Nothing fearful or harmful or painful can reach you, everything is right in the world, and you are safe in my arms." He said sternly. I nodded and snuggled up closer to him.

"I'm sorry I'm like this. I know it must be exhausting for you." I said. The feeling that I am burdensome, annoying and useless wells up inside of me nearly every night and I worry that it will slowly build until it erodes our relationship. Zhongli cupped my cheek, tilting my head to make me meet his eyes. Amber, nearly shining in the moonlight, he always looked at me so sternly and seriously.

"You are never exhausting. You are my wife, my darling. I want to care for you, and I love you when you are well, and unwell." He said. He kissed me gently, pulling me to his body even closer. It was impossible not to feel safer in his arms, but still I didn’t think I could fall asleep, and he knew he would be unable to sleep as long as I was so restless.

“Would you like to look at the moon with me?” he asked. I nodded cheerfully and let him help me back out of bed, by this time the servants had all gone to sleep and I didn’t feel nervous about being in just my nightie as Zhongli led me through our dark estate. He hadn't even bothered to put clothes on at all. He led me to our living room where the moon shone through the wide windows and where the glowing lights of Liyue could be seen below. Our home was high enough that no one could see into the windows, but the city with all of its lanterns and street lights sprawled out below us was beautiful at night, especially with the moon glowing above and reflecting in the sea beyond the city.

While I admired the city Zhongli wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Do you feel safer?" He asked quietly.

"I do. It makes me feel really soothed to see all of Liyue like this, though I'm not sure why."

"Because this is my city, and now it is yours. There will always be a home for you in Liyue, a place where you can feel safe. Between the cliffs and mountains and the sea you are safe. Here, you are safe."

I closed my eyes and took Zhongli's hands in mine. His hands were large, strong and warm but his fingers were elegant, dexterous and capable as he entwined them with mine.

"I'm sleepy.." I said after several long moments of gazing at the moon with him silently. He scooped me up in his arms, cradling me and carrying me back to our bed.

He laid down and held me to his chest, his grip on me firm and protective. I wriggled free just enough to hold his face in my hands and kiss him. I ran my fingertips over his cheek and jawbones as he worked his lips against mine and slid his tongue into my mouth, brushing his teeth against my bottom lip. He slid one of his hands down my back to my ass, he squeezed and kneaded my flesh before spanking me abruptly. I yelped and felt him smirk against my mouth.

"Precious thing. You are absolutely delectable, too much so to resist."

Zhongli rolled on top of me, laying me back on our soft pillows and sheets as he lowered his head to the crook of my neck to kiss and suck bruises already left there from the previous night. It hurt a little, his assault upon already tender flesh, but I was happy to receive both pain and pleasure from him during these times. He ran his hands down my body, squeezing my thighs before bringing his hand between them, circling my clit with his fingertip gently.

"How do you feel? Not only physically, tell me how you're feeling emotionally. I worry, you know." Zhongli said, though it was hard to focus on his words.

"Safe.. Being intimate with you, I just feel very safe. I can be vulnerable a-and, I know you'll protect me-" I clenched my teeth as I came, Zhongli continuing to rub my clit and extending my orgasm as long as he could.

"I.. feel safe as well." He said, holding his cock in one hand and one of my thighs in the other, swirling the tip of his cock around my slick entrance.

"During the Archon war my only.. encounters were strictly, primal, we'll say. Breeding and nothing more. The experience of intimacy that feels intimate, of.. Making love;" with that he pushed himself into me.

"This is something I have only experienced with you. Both pleasurable and loving and still filling me with just as much primal desire that clouds my mind and makes me able to think of nothing but filling you.. It feels good. I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel that you are part of me, one with me, and together nothing can harm us."

He cradled me in his arms and kissed me gently, moaning quietly into my mouth as I clenched my walls around him. I closed my eyes and let myself focus on nothing but this feeling and this moment. No anxiety or nervousness or fear, only Zhongli's warm body, his strong arms, his hot breath against my neck and the pleasant ache of his cock stretching me.

Zhongli stroked my cheek gently, looking into my eyes as he came, his mouth slightly agape as he shuddered and his hips bucked involuntarily.

"I love you darling. Are you ready to sleep now?" he asked, smiling as he pulled out of me and laid next to me, holding me to him with his strong chest against my back.

"Mmmhmm..." I said sleepily, unable to keep my eyes open.

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact

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ap0stle · 7 months ago

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WIP questionnaire tag game

THANK U FOR THE TAG @astramachina

umm the wip in question is TMNTDT aka Tell Me Not to Do This aka teenage mutant ninja turtle...dookie time

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

oough that was back in like... 2016? 2014? and i started with the first chapter right away which ended up being the fourth chapter and then became Nothing At All because i have wrecked this thang beyond recognition <3

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

definitely Burn a Church by Coma Cinema bc it's been in my mock-soundtrack playlist for years and fits the vibes really well :3 the playlist in question is kind of a mess and old as hell but i'll link that too just in case ^_^

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

curtis definitely, i think i get caught up on the details of everyone but he is the most wholly developed and also umm. very similar to me so i love him dearly. he is the worst.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

if you like weird indie movies about young mentally unwell people that may or may not be queer and/or on da spectrum... you will enjoy my garbage and such movies as I Am Not a Serial Killer, As You Are, Super Dark Times, etc. ALSO magnus archives fans maybe bc of the whole Mold Cult thing that is still under development

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

settling on a format was and is still my number one struggle lol. i have switched between a book, comic, videogame, screenplay, website... i have like 50000 drafts scattered across different websites and applications and if this thing ever comes to life i think i will actually fucking ascend

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

ssssssssssort of. there are a lot of dead animals. and fungi. and mold. there have been some minor pet ideas thrown around for the more. Safe Environment characters but for the time being no actual lovable creatures :/ maybe eventually!

How do your characters travel/get around?

Juno's car because mr. dumbass dumped his murder truck into a river ^_^

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

....yes. in all seriousness i have so many different versions in different POVs and tenses it's a toss up as to what i work on and if it will even make it to the next round of editing LOL

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

its not quite explicitly queer (in the latest version) but heavily HEAVILY implied and i feel like the stories that are sort of ambiguous about their queerness tend to draw more people in ?? or they're more popular anyway LOL. so trope: queerbaiting ????

deeply unwell man who has not slept properly in 600 years. the ladies love that shit

^ unreliable narrator ?

religious horror sort of?

bury your gays except. is he actually dead?? .....

What are your hopes for your WIP?

to settle on a fucking medium LMAO. i cannot for the life of me stick to one, or a point of view, OR a tense so um . makin a goddamn decision would probbaly make the writing process like 600 times easier

tagging UM. shaking my brain for writer mutuals ik ive tagged yall before but i cannot think rn so @hammity-hammer @aether-friskets @xxdrowninglessonsxx @deviantartidentitydisorder

anyway if anyone else wants do this just pretend u have been personally tagged ily THANK U AGAIN MITCH ♡♡♡

#.txt #tag game #i would have posted this sooner but was stoned off my ass and could NOT think of anyone to tag

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nowis-scales · 2 years ago

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Flora and Felicia Birthday Headcanons

That’s right. It’s time. Another round. I am unstoppable! Okay, maybe that’s not true, I may run out of things to headcanon one day. But for now, I’m going to keep trying and bring you lots of different things to enjoy! Hopefully you like them!

Flora:

‣ Her rigidity and coolness comes from an attempt to imitate her father and invoke pride within him. Kilma never praised Flora much growing up, and was honestly somewhat cold to her, even though he seemed to have a lot of warmth for Felicia. Given that she would someday be the next leader of their Tribe, she grew convinced that this may have been because he had high expectations for her, so she started trying to imitate him as best she could. This resulted in her trying to emulate his sense of calm and really control her emotions, so while Flora feels a lot of things very deeply, she tends to keep them concealed on the inside to give the appearance of a better leader. Her magic still gives her away sometimes, of course, but she refuses to stop trying. She is desperate to get Kilma’s recognition.

‣ Ferociously independent when she gets sick. Seriously. No one look at her, no one touch her, just leave her alone to be a gremlin in the bed sheets while she tries to recover. For whatever reason, she just really cannot stand to be fussed over while she’s feeling unwell, so she’s going to go out of her way to try and get everything done herself whether you like it or not. Try and help her? Well, she’s not going to be unkind to you, but she is going to annoyedly remind you that she can do this herself, thank you very much, and it’s probably not good for you to be around her when she’s feeling sick anyway. Just leaving her alone to sit in the dark and dropping off the occasional book will probably be most appreciated. She’ll call you if she really needs you.

‣ Has a thing for sharp male love interests. You just know she’d be all over Pride & Prejudice in a modern AU. That’s why she likes Jakob so much. I’ve already established that I feel like Flora is just a huge hopeless romantic, so I think the sort of cold man with a secret heart of gold melts with love is something that she would be all over. Who doesn’t love quality character development and the revelation that someone you thought was one way, is actually even better than you anticipated? It is just her absolute favourite kind of romance.

‣ Has a pretty singing voice. She doesn’t have any direct use for it, really, but she likes to sing from time to time as she’s doing chores. When she was small, she spent a lot of time singing with the other Ice Tribe women as apart of their cultural traditions. Even going to Nohr and joining Corrin’s army, she keeps up with it, singing songs in her native tongue, common, and even sometimes Nohrian if she likes the song enough. If she has kids or a niece/nephew, she would also happily sing lullabies for them every time she puts them to sleep.

‣ Makes the best rabbit stew you’ll ever taste in your life. Her grandmother taught her the family recipe when she was younger, and she has been perfecting it ever since. Everyone who has been around for a long time will tell you that it’s their favourite meal that she makes, and she’s even had Corrin ask for it for their birthday meal once or twice. She’ll never reveal her secret advanced recipe (except for if she is passing it down to a child of the family), so it cannot be replicated by others, but if you ask she’ll always jokingly tell you that the secret ingredient is “love and the perfect vegetables”.

‣ Forever locked in an argument with Felicia about whether or not mint-flavoured things are good or not. Flora thinks they are bad, but Felicia loves them. A lot of people find it strange that she really doesn’t like the taste of mint, considering it’s cold and she’s from the Ice Tribe, but she is very adamant that that is just not the way it works. Some thing about the taste of mint just really puts her off, and she and Felicia bicker about it all the time. She could probably write you a whole essay on why mint-flavoured things are just not right.

‣ Competent ice skater. She grew up skating on the Ice Tribe’s lake when she was a girl, and always had the best time. Her elegance and grace extend even to this medium, so she is always sure to dazzle the inexperienced. The best part about it, too, is that she’s an eager teacher. So if you tell her that you want to ice skate, she’s happy to hold your hands the whole time and give you pointers. It’s her favourite form of physical activity.

‣ Has a weird relationship with babies and toddlers. Is she kind and civil with them? Of course. It’s hard to be a little person in such a big world. But does she fully understand how to interact with them, and enjoy the fact that they are loud and sticky? Not so much. She’s not sure if it’s just inexperience or what, because she does like children, but there’s something about the very little ones that she doesn’t know how to work with fully. At the very least, she knows that she would dearly love her own kids, no matter the phase of life.

‣ Really good at planning, but also gets pretty upset when things don’t go according to her plan. Flora can have everything planned perfectly, organized thoughtfully and with care. She’s the kind of person you would call if you were having an event and didn’t know where to start, or the girl who would take the lead on the group project and help get everything underway. However, once things stop going according to plan, that’s where her success ends. She starts getting nervous and upset when life throws a wrench in her plans, because now she has to recalibrate and doesn’t always know what to do. Usually, she just needs to have her moment of panic until she can rise to the new challenge, but it is never a fun experience.

‣ The epitome of “um excuse me, but they didn’t want pickles on that” meme. Not just for Felicia. For literally anybody who needs it. The big sister instincts are strong in this one. Standing up for the people who need her is just something that is basically a reflex for her, and while she might bite her tongue around royalty and those who could inflict serious harm, she’s otherwise going to be fairly outspoken about what is and isn’t fair. That’s kind of just the way she’s built!

Felicia:

‣ To some people’s surprise, she’s actually a pretty big morning person. Even if she oversleeps sometimes and freaks herself right out over missing her duties, if she can get up on time, she’s pretty happy going about her day. She loves washing up, preparing her hair and her clothes, making breakfast and getting ready for the day. Sometimes she even gets up early just to watch the sunrise because of how much she loves to see it. Something about waking up bright and early just makes her feel really cheerful!

‣ Super big on physical affection and extraordinarily cuddly. Definitely as a physical affection love language. She’s not the type to overstep boundaries, so she has to be comfortable with you before she starts expressing it, but as soon as she’s ready… well, you probably will be too. Whether it’s hanging onto her partner’s arms or hugging a fellow soldier when they’re down, Felicia has all kinds of physical affection to go around. Just ask and you probably will receive. If she likes you enough, she might even greet you by hugging you from behind.

‣ While Flora is ferociously independent when she gets sick, Felicia is a whiny little baby who needs to be fussed over. Don’t get me wrong, she can still do some things for herself, but she generally doesn’t want to and will call others for help. She will want to be tucked into bed, receive regular meals or snacks and water, entertainment through books or conversation or other activities, and have help getting to the bath and brushing the tangles out of her hair. If you’re her partner, then the requests are even higher. Can you please cuddle her until she feels better? And if you’re checking her temperature, could it be with a forehead kiss please? Oh, and can you stroke her hair until she falls asleep, pretty please with sugar on top? She’s never sharp and demanding, but there’s so much innocent pleading and softness that even the strongest of wills have bent to her before. Jakob still rants about some of the trashy romantic novels she asked him to read to her while she had the flu one time.

‣ One of her biggest sources of guilt is that she can no longer speak the language of the Ice Tribe. She can understand it, but she cannot speak it. Flora doesn’t have the same problem, as she wrote a journal in their language to keep up with it, but the Fortress staff were intimidating for awhile. King Garon did not want them organizing escape plans or uprisings using their native tongue, which the other staff did not understand, so the girls were forbidden from speaking it. Flora only got as far as she did by going behind people’s backs and help with concealment from Gunter. Felicia, on the other hand, followed the rules pretty rigidly and now feels extremely out of touch with her people. It’s a source of great shame for her, and something she cries about from time to time.

‣ As we all know, Felicia is a very poor cook. However, there are two things she can make — her special Angel’s Cookie, and sandwiches. It seems a bit odd for her to only be good at two things, but the truth of it is that she’s good at those two things because she practiced like crazy to become good at those two things. Sandwiches seemed simple enough that she couldn’t possibly make a mess of them, and cookies were something she had spent a lot of time watching Flora and Jakob make, so when she would do her secret practicing at the Northern Fortress, those were the two things she would make to try and see if she could do a good job. And, since she’s generally unable to tell herself whether her cooking is good or bad, all of her food was tasted by an eager Lilith. It took a lot of tries to get it right, but she finally managed to do it, and she tries to take it as a symbol of encouragement that she can get better at things that are hard for her. She even still brings the treats to Lilith sometimes as thanks.

‣ Writes down every compliment people give her for personal note. She gets quite bashful when she’s complimented because it really doesn’t happen all that much, so she tries to take a moment to note down what was said and who said it. It helps her cheer herself up when she’s upset, because even if she makes a lot of mistakes, Corrin thinks she’s “an amazing friend” and Princess Elise told her she “has the prettiest hair”, so at least she has something going for her!

‣ When not in her maid’s uniform, Felicia actually has a really feminine sense of personal style. She loves skirts and dresses covered in lace, ribbons, and frills. Long socks and cute tights are a favourite piece of attire, and she tries to keep elegant shoes on hand whenever she can. Playing around with different hairstyles is something she loves to do most, especially because she’s actually really good at different types of braids. She’ll even do a bit of light make-up from time to time just to try something different. If she were to ever have a daughter who shares an affection for the style, then she would be decked out in the cutest outfits that you have ever seen in your life.

‣ Likes most food and will usually eat anything you don’t want. As I mentioned from her cooking headcanon, she can’t really taste for herself when something’s bad, so she is often the person people turn to if they don’t like their food. If Jakob isn’t around to eat Corrin’s mushrooms, she’ll eat them. If Flora gets something she doesn’t want, she’ll usually take it off her plate. There’s only so much food she can take, of course, being a petite girl, but she’s willing to help if you don’t want something. It also makes her very agreeable for dinner plans, because you can often pick what you want, and she’ll go “oh, I love that!”

‣ The reason why she can handle battle better than she can regular chores is because there are more many more steps and details for her to remember when she is doing those regular tasks. In battle, her survival instincts tend to kick in, and her focus sharpens, so her scatterbrained tendencies don’t get the best of her quite the same. She’s got three goals she needs to focus on: (1) Protect herself, (2) Protect her loved ones, and (3) Dispose of the enemy. In her regular life she has so much more she feels she must consider to be perfect, but in battle it all seems to just melt away.

‣ Has a weird relationship to being good in battle, actually. Of course she’s proud of it in some capacity, given that it’s the one thing she’s good at and that the people she cares about are impressed by it, but she’s not crazy about having to hurt others. Like Corrin, she wants to avoid actually killing people where she can and tends to try and incapacitate or injure to the point of being unable to fight, but it’s not always a goal she can achieve. She tries not to think about any of the people she has eliminated over time, and if she does, she often prays to the gods for them to have better lives wherever they have gone next, as well as for their forgiveness.

#is it just me or the HCs longer this year?#fire emblem #fire emblem fates #fire emblem felicia #fire emblem flora #fe felicia #fe flora #fe14 #fe headcanons

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mamoritxi · 6 days ago

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So, there he is. Her new knight. As much as Nunnally hates that idea of being restrained and protected (guarded) but that man, her royal mother has made it very clear that she would not tolerate any misbehaving from the crown princess this time. Yes, Nunnally knows the man or rather has heard about him. Taecenyx. The general. The dragon rider. Although that last at least piques some interest in her.

She has had the sworn guards before. He’s not the first one. Probably not the last either.

She's standing there; close to the tower on the castle walls, letting the wind mess with her blond hair. She can hear his steps; would she be the first woman he was to see since he was separated from his mother? Likely.

Finally, she cannot pretend he’s not there any longer. She turns around and offers him a small curtsy: --

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, General.” – she feels her irritation increases – “I trust you like your chambers. I’ve made sure myself there is everything you might need.” – a lie, but does it matter? – “We’ll be spending a lot of time together now, I believe.” – and you probably hate the that very thought…Why is he looking at her like that? Or is this her imagination?

“Is there something wrong…with my face…?”

“Or are you unwell?” – hopefully that’s not too rude. But she feels so awkward.

❈ unprompted.

tae checked his blade. "no, i am not excited." he sneered. "you're being silly." he slowly pushed the blade back into the sheathe, shrugging his shoulders before sighing loudly. the guard stationed at the tower looked at him with dismay. simpletons who wielded black magic but couldn't even connect to the spirit they had a contract with. taecenyx could only laugh about that. seriously, so not professional, but on the other hand he did feel a little nervous. people always looked at him as if he was a psycho, but his military results were phenomenal. "have fun, ever." he watched his dragon take off and vanish on the horizon.

what would it be like to have such an easy life?

he sighed, then slowly made his way up the crown princess' tower. he had seen few ladies since he arrived at the royal castle, but he usually stuck around the soldier dorms. no women ever went there unless they had to. many behaved as if they were still in the slums, but it wasn't like the royals exactly instructed them on how to live. most seemed to just take it in stride they were ruled by a bunch of women. nothing one could do about that, they gave birth to the men, the soldiers. a rather divine gift, tae mused as he slowly walked over to the lady standing in front of the window.

wow, striking blond hair, cold blue eyes. tae leaned back a little, lips pursed into a thin line. such a sharp jawline, soft skin, almost like a baby. taecenyx ran a hand through his raven hair, fixed his collar and tilted his head to the right. even her voice sounded so gentle and soft... and these creatures really pumped out babies?

"i am good, your highness. the chambers are wonderful. i am so very grateful. there is nothing wrong with your face. you're... really beautiful." he took a step forward, ran a hand through her very long light hair. "like an angel, absolutely divine. a pleasure to lay my eyes upon, just magnificent." he looked at the ghost of his friend having a laughing fit before sighing.

"i look forward to fulfilling each and every need of yours."

how hard could that be?

#luredintowonderland #» ―― [ sugihara ✗ ic. ] ❈#» ―― [ sugihara ✗ answer. ] ❈#» ―― [ sugihara ✗ v001. ] ❈

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 2 years ago

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First of all seriously congrats on getting out of the spiral i understand how flabbergastingly difficult that is.

….that being said.. with as much the love and support I can share….

Please please please please next step- stop checking LI like that at all. Or like at all but ideal worlds etcetc It is not a safe place for anyone social interactions and active use can be a deterrent to potential employers as it shows mental instability and a dependency on social media etc etc businessbullshit

Take care you yourself please pretty please with a cherry and fun shaped sprinkles on top

You. Deserve. To. Rest. God. Damn. It.

Write it down in a notebook or notes app I know it’s hard to find the right Thing just please hang in there No more LI

I know I don’t know your situation you might need to be job hunting everyday to pay for medical bills or for whatever you may need -

just please be careful

And try to be kind to yourself please

hey hey! thanks for the support. I barely ever post on linkedin, only once or twice. I never share posts from other people either on there, either. I will occasionally like posts on there though.

I only had to make a linkedin account years ago in uni, bc the careers department basically bullies you to make one, to con you into thinking that that's the only way you'll be HEADHUNTED OMG!!!!.

but that's literally never happened to me.... and all I actually get on there is marketing emails for LI premium and learning (which is like $90 or something a month here in australia so I've never paid the sub) and scam courses from usually americans about resume writing etc but they want you to cough up $5,000 australian to do them.

I've always been super wary about linkedin in general, anyway. which is why I've barely ever posted on there, except for my uni graduation and when i started at my job last year. making my account for it back in 2016 during uni caused me to have an anxiety attack lmao. it's also why I'm happy I'm not checking it as often as well.

I had a year of rest in 2021 to heal from my surgery.... even though everyone was pushing me to "hurry up and get a job and move out and be an adult NOW!!!" including my surgeon. like guys. I just had some of the most traumatic 3 months of my life in my mid-20s. why the fuck would I want to be instantly back in the workforce????? holy fuck.

and plus, it did hit me while healing back then, a few times, how unwell and fragile I really was. because I bent down in woollies or coles (grocery stores here in aus) and couldn't get off the floor without grabbing onto something to balance myself. and that's when I started listening to the physios more in rehab hospital rather than my surgeon and everyone else, about taking it slow and healing... instead of trying to instantly jump back into casual or part time work in retail at the time; or even office work (since I learnt last year that stationary orders are, in fact, quite heavy when it's just boxes filled with packets and packets of paper; and other general office shit).

as for the medical bills, I don't have any to pay off since my surgery was completely covered by medicare. all I'm trying to avoid now in job hunting, is australia's incredibly punitive employment jobseeker income supplement payment requirements of meeting with a job provider each fortnight; and having to apply for 20 jobs a month or they'll take your payment off of you.... which is incredibly unhelpful when I need to pay my car loan and car insurance. although I'm pretty sure that's been updated but I can't remember how it's changed..... because I didn't need to worry about it last year whilst I was in my cadetship job since it was full time.

but yeah I just need to use LI as a way to look for jobs and maybe very occasionally interact with my old colleagues at my cadetship job (which I just left on the 23rd of march). but I am trying to interact with it less.

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creaturebehavior · 2 years ago

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damn. life hurts. i think i’ve been having a really hard time.

i feel like i will never get out of this hole because the world wasn’t designed for me. i get burnt out every time i try to do what everybody else is doing

all i want is to run away. i have no income and nowhere to run.

i wish i at least had money for drugs.

i can’t believe i’m alive. i don’t want to do this anymore. i can’t wake up to this anymore.

i wish i at least could afford to use drugs. i can’t believe how suicidal i feel today. i haven’t felt this way in a really long time.

i wish i could be more normal. all i want is to work a little job and to make enough to get my needs met but i can’t even hold a conversation with a human or barely leave my house

I feel trapped. and i know if i try to kill myself again i’ll just end up not getting the help i need like every other time and for some reason i can never fucking die like i just won’t die i always live no matter how many overdoses or seizures are car crashes or the whole town burning down while i’m driving through it in my car but for some cruel reason i just won’t die.

i have to find another way. i’m honestly kind of afraid to die but i’m also so afraid to keep on living. i think if i were to seriously attempt suicide again, i would try carbon monoxide poisoning in my car in the garage but i’m just afraid i would have too much time to change my mind. i always think a lot about hanging myself so that i can’t change my mind but i can’t find anywhere in my house to hang myself from.

idek. i’ve been having a really bizarre week, mentally. i lot of flashbacks. a lot of dreams. a lot of recent fumbled social interactions m, reinforcing my fear of interacting with people. a lot of awareness around my behavior, past and present and how toxic of a person i’ve always been. i don’t know how to heal from this or change. i’m in so much pain all the time i’m such a selfish person, i’m just like my dad, my whole life is about how much pain i’m in and making it every im else’s problem. This is the reason why i avoid people and isolate myself from everyone, because i don’t know how to behave. i don’t know how to not act out. i don’t know how to regulate my emotions. i don’t know how to filter my thoughts. even if it’s accidental, i am rude. i feel feral. i feel completely detached from the song and dance everyone does with each other. i have such low empathy. i find it hard to care about anybody. i’m so burnt out, i find it hard to continue to politely pretend i care about anybody.

i’m clearly very unwell. at least i’m aware of it now, right? i just can’t fathom how i’m gonna get better. i’m exhausted. i don’t know how to try to care i don’t know how to be better. i cut myself off from the world. i try so hard in my little interactions when i run my necessary errands and i try to be nice but i still am accidentally rude and i come off very strangely. whenever i’m stone cold sober i appear to be on drugs because i’m so out of touch with reality and i’m so mentally fucked in the head. don’t know what it is. severe dissociation and anxiety i guess. I have been having to confront my internalized ableism as i haven’t been this sick in awhile, and the older i get the slightly more self aware i’m becoming. I realize how visibly ill i am. and it’s been difficult to bring that around other people because i feel so much shame being as.. out of whack… as i am. i wish i could hold it in but i just can’t mask anymore. i got so burnt out and i’m so sick.

ugh. i don’t know how i’m gonna get past this. i know something obviously needs to change. clearly i need some kind of help but i’m scared to get vulnerable with more mental health professionals. i’ve had some bad experiences in recent history that really messed up my relationship with therapy and treatment. i’ve developed trust issues that i know i’m going to have to get over but they are very real. my last therapist made me feel worse at every session but i kept seeing her because i was convinced it was a me problem, because i have a really difficult time opening up to people already. we didn’t click but i saw her for like two years because i thought i just needed to warm up to her because i already have trouble trusting anybody. and now i’m all screwed up cuz we had so many bad sessions i can barley remember what it’s like to have a good therapy session and when i reflect on all the years i’ve been in therapy and i’ve only really connected with one therapist out of idek what feels like countless therapists i’ve tried. It’s so hard to find someone i feel i can be open with.

idek. i feel stuck

#processing

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

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𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝐵𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Warning: Just one brief mention of kidnapping and being held hostage. Other than that, it's safe to proceed.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗��𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

It felt like an eternity before someone opened the door and walked in.

Hongjoong took one look at you before widening his eyes. He looked back at one of men behind him and sighed.

"You had one job Hangyul and you couldn't even do it right?! This isn't the right person!"

Said Hangyul bowed his head and apologized profusely.

Hongjoong rubbed his temples in annoyance. He looked back at you and examined you closely. Even with your puffy hair, tear strained cheeks and messy hair, he thought you looked beautiful. The longer he looked at you, the more some weird feeling in his chest started to grow.

"What's your name?" He asked you.

You struggled to find your voice, but managed to utter out your name in a soft whisper.

It was almost like music to his ears.

"Well Y/N.....it seems we accidentally mistook you for someone else.....Ooops."

He really didn't know what to say to you. He felt bad that you were now standing before him, scared, trembling and no doubt hurt. Part of him told him to release you from your restraints, and hold you tenderly. Then one of his men reminded him:

"Hongjoong sir? Since we can't release a witness for security reasons, do you want us to get rid of her?"

Your head snapped up at the comment and you began desperately trying to break free.

"No please don't! I'm begging you! Have some mercy on me! Let me go and I swear I won't say anything to anybody!"

Hongjoong hesitated for a brief moment until your crying got louder and you said:

"I have a son! He's only 3 years old! I'm the only one he has! So please......." You begged, all the little strength you had left in your body began to slowly drain as you realized you might never see your son again.

That's all it took for Hongjoong to break.

"Release her."

The men looked shocked. "But sir-"

"I said release her. Now!" He commanded.

Instantly, all the ropes were cut and you were free. You tried to stand up, but you were so shaken up your legs gave out. Luckily, Hongjoong caught you in his arms and carried you away from there.

"I'm really sorry about this."

He ordered for his car and personally saw that you made it home safely. Even days afterwards, he still kept an eye on you and your son, whom he couldn't help but find adorable.

You noticed that someone was watching you when you suddenly started to receive strange packages that sometimes contained groceries, clothes or even toys. You wondered who could be sending these things.

Your question was answered when you took your son to the park. Hongjoong tried his best to stay hidden but you quickly found him. He stood there looking awkwardly at you.

"It was you wasn't it?" You asked him.

"Yeah....." He replied shyly. Seriously, he was one of the top mafia bosses. Why was a single mom like you making him nervous like a schoolboy?

"Mommy!" Your son ran up to you.

You picked him up and your son just stared at Hongjoong. He leaned into your ear and asked you who he was.

You smiled at him. "Oh him? He's just an old friend."

Your son looked back at Hongjoong, somewhat afraid of him. But Hongjoong just gave him the warmest smile he could.

"Hey there little buddy. You don't have to be scared of me."

Hongjoong knew it would take time, but he also knew that in the end, he'd be part of your life and of your son's.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪 ﾟ･:*✿

You don't know whether you were grateful or you regretted ever accepting to work at the bar Seonghwa owned. You couldn't complain about the pay, it was more than good and although you knew Seonghwa was sketchy af, you never felt unsafe as he always made sure you were protected and no one harassed you.

However you knew Seonghwa had the hots for you, everyone knew it actually. At first, they thought he just wanted to get in your pants, that's what he usually did with any hot female that worked for him. But time passed and everyone now knew that he was head over heels for you. Boy was like a love sick puppy for you. It was quite entertaining to watch actually.

No one resented you for it or even tried to bother you. You were constantly turning him down and keeping a strictly professional relationship with your boss. If he offered you any gifts, you rejected them. If he offered the schedule everyone fought for, you turned it down and accepted the shittiest shift. Seonghwa never gave up though. He wanted you and he'd get you no matter what.

"You've gone soft." His best friend, Hongjoong told him one day.

"No I haven't." Seonghwa refuted that statement.

Right then, the phone rang. Hongjoong picked it up.

"Hello? Oh hi...... Oh really? Ok. I'll let him know. Don't worry. Hope you feel better. Bye."

Hongjoong hung up and continued his task of polishing his gun.

"Well?" Seonghwa asked rather annoyed.

"Oh it's nothing. Just Y/N calling in sick. She won't be coming." Hongjoong stated as if it was the most normal of in the world.

Seonghwa, however, was panicking.

"Y/N?! Sick?! What do you mean sick?! She's never sick! She never calls in! What if something happened to her?! I need to see her!"

Grabbing his jacket, he ran out the room, leaving Hongjoong dumbfounded.

"Ok. But you're not soft huh?"

Seonghwa sped over to your house, bag full of medicines and other things he deemed necessary in his arms. He frantically knocked on what he hoped really was your door, he had never been to your house.

"What?!" You shouted when you swung the door open.

"I came cause Hongjoong said- Wait! You look fine." Seonghwa noticed you didn't look unwell as he scanned your body.

"If this is another stupid attempt to hit on me, I will slam my door on your hand. I don't care if one of your men end up cutting off one of my fingers." You warned him.

"You said you were sick!" Seonghwa exclaimed.

"No. I called in a sick leave because-"

You were interrupted by a soft 'Mommy' from behind you. You turned to see your 2 year old daughter standing there, blanket wrapped around her tiny and frail body.

"Sweetie. I told you not to get out of bed. Your cold will get worse."

You completely forgot about Seonghwa and proceeded to attend your daughter, who was the reason why you called in sick. Seonghwa was shocked at finding out you had a kid. But it wasn't a bad surprise. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He didn't even realize that he ended up walking into your apartment and watched as you tucked your daughter in the couch, helping her blow her nose.

If people thought he was whipped before, now he was fucking wrapped around your finger. He adored kids, and this revelation just made you even more perfect in his eyes. Now he was more than determined to make you his.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

With Yunho, you actually didn't take long to start dating. He was so caring and attentive to you. You remember when you told him on a date that you had a child. You felt it was necessary to let him know before your relationship got more serious.

"A kid?" He repeated.

"Yes..... I have a son..." Your voice trailed off.

Your head already started imagining the worst and most common scenario: he'd be all sweet but say he's not ready for that responsibility and dump you like all the others. It happened every single time. It didn't turn out to be the case though.

"Really? How old is he? Do you have a picture? When can I meet him? Does he know about me?"

Yunho was ecstatic to find this out and he was very interested in anything that had to do with you. Besides........ you weren't the only one keeping secrets. He hadn't exactly told you what his job really was. Just like you, he was afraid of you leaving him when you found out his connections to the criminal world. Which is why he kept it hidden for a long time.

But he did tell you one day. He came clean about it.

"I know I should have told you earlier, especially now that I'm a part of your and your son's life.... but I was scared...... I love you but I understand if you'd rather not see me anymore."

Maybe you were crazy, maybe you were too much in love, but you assured him you wouldn't leave him. You only voiced concern about your son's safety. You didn't want anything to happen to him.

"I swear on my life, nothing will ever happen to him or to you. I promise to keep you both safe."

It was a promise he always kept. He became a constant in your life, and he was always making sure to spend time with your son, spoiling him to no end. You remember when he threw a birthday party for him at his mansion. It was small and not a lot of people could come because he couldn't risk having strangers over, but you all had a great time.

That's where you met his other friends, who were very curious to meet the woman and the kid who made Yunho into a hyperactive puppy.

"I'm serious, I've never in my life seen him be like this." Mingi pointed out as they watched Yunho play with your son.

"Really? Since I met him, he's always been like that." You were surprised to find out from his friends what he used to be like.

"Then you must really be a special lady. Congratulations. You turned a criminal into a total dad."

You blushed at Seonghwa's comment.

"He's not a dad...." You cleared your throat.

Seonghwa turned to you and smirked.

"Not yet.....but trust me. Very soon it might be official."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

Yeosang and you didn't have the greatest of start in the relationship. Both of your parents were mafia bosses and so you were both forced into a contractual marriage that neither of you wanted.

"Look. How about we just carry on our lives as if nothing happened?" You suggested.

"Agreed." Yeosang nodded.

Years passed and eventually Yeosang took over the family business, working alongside your brother Wooyoung, who took over for your father. Because Yeosang spent so much time with your brother, you ended up spending so much time togethers.

Soon you both stopped avoiding each other company and actually became close friends. Or you thought you would just be friends, until one day Yeosang couldn't help himself and just kissed you.

"What was that for?" You try not to look too happy about it though.

"What? Is it a crime for me to kiss my wife?" He winked at you.

Gradually, you fell in love and completely forgot that this was a contractual marriage. It became a real marriage for you both. Yeosang doted on you and was such a devoted husband. And he was so ecstatic when he found himself you were pregnant with your first child. He immediately made preparations and began decorating one of the rooms, choosing gender neutral colors like green and yellow.

He was over the moon when you gave birth. He cried so much when he held your precious bundle of joy in his arms for the first time. He was so overwhelmed with emotions. Leaning down, he kisses your forehead tenderly. He was so grateful to have you and your daughter.

You two became his whole world, and his friends teased him to no end about it. After all, how did the cold mafia Prince turned into such a warm family man?

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷 ﾟ･:*✿

Your relationship with San was very blissful and passionate. It definitely started with a lot of passion. You two met at a club and randomly hooked up. You thought he'd be just a one night stand, not that you cared. You weren't particularly looking for a relationship. But he was hooked on you and so he sought you out, properly asking you out on a date.

You quickly found out that he wasn't just the kinky lover in the sheets. He was a total cutie and a cuddle bug. That ended up sealing the deal for you and you completely fell in love with him.

Things definitely moved fast in the relationship. 4 months in and he asked you to move in with him. You thought it was strange, but were so in love with him that you agreed. You didn't know it was because he wanted to make sure you were safe in case any rivals tried to hurt you. And he made sure not to let you find out what and who he really was.

After a year, you two welcomed a baby boy into your lives. You spent the first months like all new parents: full of happiness and joy over your new baby. San was already making plans for his boy, imagining him taking taekwondo just like he did and excelling at all things that had physical involvement. Everything seemed to be going fine......

Until one day you found out who he really was. Your heart shattered at this new piece of information.

Had he lied to me? Is all of this a lie?

One thing was for sure, you panicked when you thought about your son and his safety. Without thinking, you began packing a suitcase, taking only the necessary things for him and you. You didn't know where you'd go, but your mind told you to leave.

"Baby? What-what are you doing?"

You turned to see San standing at the door, confused as to why you were packing.

"I know. I know everything."

His heart dropped at your words. So you finally found out. It clicked to him what you were up to.

"And so you're leaving me?" He couldn't believe it.

"I have to! How could I stay with you knowing our son could be in danger because of you?!"

San marched up to you and pulled you against him, holding onto you for dear life.

"Baby please listen to me! I lied to you, I know and I'm sorry! But I honestly do love you, I love you and our son so much, you two are my everything! You can't leave me! Please don't walk away from me and don't take him away from me! I'm sorry! But I promise I'll take care of you both."

He sanked down to his knees and held you by your waist, his tears staining your shirt. When it came to you and your son, he was no longer the strong confident mafia boss. You were his ultimate weakness.

"Please don't go..... please say you still love me...."

Your heart clenched. Even though finding this out tore you apart, you still loved him. You'd never stop loving him.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲 ﾟ･:*✿

At the beginning, you didn't want to be with him. You knew who he was and what he was capable of. You were practically forced to date him, scared shitless thinking about what he'd do to you if you refused him. He really did try to show you that he wasn't the ruthless and violent mafia boss the media played him out to be.

"Why do you look so uncomfortable? Don't you like the food?" He asked you.

"The food is great, it's just you know, not every girl wants to have a dozen men in suits standing around with guns in their pockets while on a first date." There was a hint of bitterness and sarcasm in your tone.

Mingi pouted. "It's for protection purposes."

If someone had told you the most feared mafia boss in all of Seoul was actually a clumsy, soft baby, you would never have believed them. But indeed, that's the side of Mingi you ended up uncovering. Sure it still terrified you when his rage was released, but never was it directed to you.

Finally after years of asking and asking, you accepted his marriage proposal and he was the happiest man alive. No happiness could compare. That's what he thought until the day you gifted him with a precious angel. She instantly became daddy's girl and nothing could change that. It was quite funny actually.

Like one time when he was having a meeting with his other mafia friends. Things got very heated and Mingi was about to blow up. Until a tiny head peeked in.

"Daddy!" Your daughter ran over to him, while you failed to try and catch her.

Mingi completely forgot what they were talking about and he picked her up.

"Hi princess! How are you? Did you miss your daddy?" He cooed at her.

Snickers were heard from his friends.

"Who would have thought?" "The Song Mingi has been tamed" "And by a child nonetheless"

Mingi threw a glare over at his friends.

"I can still order your heads on a platter you know." He threatened them.

"Mingi." You warned him, gesturing to your daughter.

"Sorry." He mouthed, remembering not to say such things in front of your daughter.

That's when his friends totally lost it.

"I told you San! Y/N is the one who really wears the pants in the relationship."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰ﾟ･:*✿

Were you furious that your father practically sold you into a marriage with his mafia friend's son? Yes. Was Wooyoung pissed off at having a wife thrown at him? Nope, not at all. He fell in love with you at first sight.

"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!" He was practically beaming with joy.

"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first." You responded.

Wooyoung actually laughed at that, but you were serious. What if one day his mafia ass gets tired of you and he just decides to put a bullet in your head? You secretly hoped he did that before you were bound to him for life.

But 5 years later and you're still married. He's just as much in love with you as the first day he met you. You learned to love him, or as you often said to tease him: you learned to put up with him.

"Deny it all you want, but I know you love me just as much as I love you."

When he found out you were pregnant, he became even more clingy with you. Always making sure you were ok, going to everyone of the doctor's appointments, and constantly talking to your growing baby bump. The baby wasn't due for another 4 months and he was already wrapped around their finger.

"I can eat by myself Wooyoung." You reminded him as you tried to take the bowl from him.

"Let me baby you, ok!? I want my queen to be treated like one and I want to make sure my little princess will be ok." He stated.

You chuckled at how he kept insisting it was a girl.

"What if it turns out to be a boy?" You cocked your head to the side.

"It's a girl! She will be a precious bundle of pink glittery joy that I will love and cherish for as long as I live!" He really wanted a girl.

You rolled your eyes every time and you were desperately hoping that the ultrasound you were scheduled to get would reveal it was a boy. You really wanted to wipe the grin off his face. That and you wanted a mommy's boy yourself.

"So tell us doctor. It's definitely a girl right?" Wooyoung asked as he held your hand tightly.

"Actually......you're carrying a very healthy baby boy. Congratulations."

Wooyoung's hand dropped yours and he stood there stunned. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. For goodness sakes, he had already had the nursery painted pink.

"Ok, now that you've been proven wrong, hand me that catalog. I'm deciding how we're decorating my son's nursery." You told him when you got back home.

"Uh.... it's our son! If I remember correctly, it takes 2 to make a baby. And please no sport related decorations! Get something more original! Ooh! I saw some really cute marine animals design that..."

You just smirked at him as he turned the pages of the magazine. He was still whipped.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

When you applied for the secretary job, you didn't think anything was sketchy about it. But you were wrong and instantly you were dragged into Jongho's mafia world. And you knew that now there was no way out. You knew too much and the only way you would ever walk out of there would be in a coffin.

That's what you thought, but honestly, Jongho liked you so much that if you wanted to, he'd dismiss you if you wanted it. But he didn't want you to go. He was too hooked on you to let you go. He liked how different you were from other women. You were so mature, and he liked your 'I don't give a fuck' attitude you exuded at times. He also loved to play around with you, even if he was the one doing most of the pulling while you were doing a lot of pushing.

"Sooner or later you will be mine doll." He often told you.

"Go find some other girl to play around with Jongho. I'm a little too old to be anyone's toy." You always responded with things that if it were anyone else, it'd get their head blown off.

You tried to keep your personal life as secret as possible from him. Your deepest fear was of Jongho finding out about your daughter, your only joy in life. You were afraid he'd use her against you........... that's what you tried to tell yourself. But really, you were afraid that if he found out, he'd lose interest in you. You couldn't deny he was attractive. But what kind of man would involve himself with a woman that already had a kid? Especially someone as young and powerful like Jongho?

But one day, you had no choice but to bring her along to work with you, since no babysitter was available. You thought you'd be all right. Jongho wasn't supposed to be there and you only had to pick up some papers. Luck wasn't on your side that day though. While you were rummaging around your desk, the devil himself walked into the office.

"Ah Y/N. Good thing I caught you. I need you to see if I got- who and what is that?"

He immediately pointed at your daughter, who was currently holding onto your leg, her other hand holding her bunny plushie. The color drained from your face, but you took a deep breath and gathered your courage.

"Jongho, this is my daughter, [insert name here]. Sweetheart, this is Jongho. He's the man I work for." You smiled down at her.

You didn't even want to look back at Jongho, afraid to see his expression. You were startled though when he came closer to you and bent down so he was eye level with your daughter.

"Hi there princess. What you got there? Do you like bunnies?"

Your daughter took an instant liking to him as she began explaining in her 2 year old language who her plushie was. And Jongho only played along, completely enchanted by such a cute and innocent baby.

"Ok that's enough sweetheart. I'm sure Jongho has some other things to attend to and we have to go."

Picking her up, you bid goodbye to Jongho, who held the door open for you. He grabbed your free arm though and whispered in your ear before you left:

"If you think this changes anything doll, you're completely wrong. I still want you and I still stand my ground that you'll be mine......."

He pulled back and smiled at you.

"Your daughter is very charming as well. You should bring her over more often."

He winked at you as you made your way out.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #mafia!ateez #mafia!au #ateez mafia au #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines

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stopbeingrude · 3 years ago

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Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

#gruvia #greige fullbuster #one shot #gruvia day #Mila's art #attempt at humor #greige day #gruvia family-day

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coraphoenix · 2 years ago

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I usually don't read wedding fics, but this was a pretty good exception to make🥹 Like excuse me, first of all, the vows???!! I'm pretty sure my heart's all melted on the floor right now.

You're about to get line by line quotes from your own writing because I just loved them so much and can't resist commenting on them😭

Loving Jake doesn’t come with control. Left up to her, a cocky, smart ass, antagonistic fellow aviator is not who she would have picked to fall for. Even falling in love had been a question mark on her life road map. [...] Those three words, though they’ve been said many times since, still terrify her because they mean there’s another person at the controls of her heart.

This feels like such a powerful moment for Natasha's character, acknowledging that it is terrifying to be in love but not running away from it.

Her father tilts her chin up so she looks him in the eye. His gray eyes are soft yet pained. “Nasha, I promise that you aren’t your mother and me. We didn’t know each other or ourselves half so well as you and Jake do. And I’m proud of you for that.”

The emotions in this paragraph alone😭 It's the past, the present, and the very near future all entwined together. I love that it's a tiny nod at Natasha's backstory, especially that it's from her father's perspective here.

Suddenly, it’s like the entire world shifts without anyone but them noticing. Her heart races as she stands on the verge of tying her life, her heart, her future to his. As if sensing her trepidation, Jake draws her to him. “Last chance to eject,” he whispers so that only she can hear. The smile around his eyes steadies her.

I. Am. Unwell. Seriously, what is this??? My heart was racing and I had nothing to do with this. And Jake's "Last chance to eject." The understanding that Jake has of her and what emotions/thoughts she must be experiencing and finding a way to ground her without it grating on her nerves... 🥹

“Too late,” she promises, although her pulse threatens to drown out the words. “I’m not leaving without you.” He sways forward, gaze dropping to her lips.

And then Natasha's response😭😭

“Natasha.” He says her name with his usual mix of playfulness, adoration, and hint of cheek. His dimples are on full display, and she braces herself for the ride this could be. “You know it’s never enough that I think you’re the greatest, sweetheart. I expect everyone else to know it too. So it may not come as a surprise that I tried to crowdsource my vows in exchange for guaranteeing everyone a meal at the reception."

First of all, why can I hear this in his voice, tone and all??😂 HIM CALLING HER SWEETHEART WILL NEVER NOT HAVE ME FEELING ALL GIDDY!! And I appreciate Jake being Jake and trying to convince people to contribute to the vows in exchange for their meals😭😂

I told you I had a feeling your wedding fic would convert me, and here we are! This was so sweet and funny but with all those subtle deeper tones that just grounded the whole thing.

PS: OH AND THE ARCH OF SWORDS!!!😍 Can't forget about that!!

Day 25 of Ode to Phoenix

Summary: Part of the Hannix Football Rivalry AU Series in which Jake is a Cowboys fan (lol like Glen) and Natasha is a 49ers fan (like Monica and me)

Jake and Natasha's Wedding, Pt. I - The Ceremony

Pairings: Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Warnings: None for this part, just fluff

A/N: This fic got really long so I'm posting it in three parts. I'm sorry this took awhile, and I'm a little nervous about it but needed to stop rewriting and get on to your ACTUAL requests. Thank you so much to everyone who submitted song suggestions! As you'll see, I may have gotten a little carried away. Please don't judge my song picks too harshly. Okay, hope you enjoy!

I'm sharing the full Hannix Wedding Playlist here, but the key songs are also included when they appear in the fic.

The Wedding | Pt. I - The Ceremony

Natasha wasn’t exactly sure how she was going to feel on her wedding day but the eye of a hurricane hadn’t been on her list.

She sits quietly in a corner of the room off the beautifully decorated outdoor terrace that overlooks the mountains. As soon as Jake shyly told her that he wants to see her face from the moment he lays eyes on her as his bride, she chose a light veil that cascades down her back. Her dark hair is swept into a low side chignon with a few pieces left out to frame her face. For the ceremony, she wears Jake’s great-grandmother’s pearl comb in her hair, pearl drop earrings and their matching necklace.

Although it took some searching, Gabby helped her find the perfect wedding dress. The elegant, yet simple, sleeveless fitted bodice has a low square neck and open back that flows into a slightly flared skirt and train of floating layers of lace. A sash defines her waist. Her dahlia, peony, astilbe, and eucalyptus bouquet rests on a table beside her. Folded and tucked into the ribbon wound around the stems are her handwritten vows, although she’d memorized them weeks ago. Lightly, she drums her soft pink nails on her knees.

While the photographer flits around, the wedding planner and her mother try to herd the bridal and grooms parties together. Payback is doing his frantic best, with Amelia’s help, to keep the flower girls and ring bearer from wrinkling or tearing their clothes while protecting his dress whites from a game of tag.

Everyone else is so worried about today going perfectly but as long as Jake is standing there when she walks outside, Natasha couldn’t care less about the rest.

“You ready, Captain?” her dad asks, voice brittle with emotion. Gabby was always “Princess” and from the day she told him she wanted to be a pilot, Natasha became “Captain.” He’s wearing a tailored black suit that flatters his stocky yet athletic figure and swarthy complexion. His hair and trimmed beard are more gray and white than they are black now, and his rugged face a little weathered from too much sun. But he still has the youthful energy of her childhood.

She reaches for his hand. Even now, his grip suffuses her with a sense of safety and steadiness. “I’ve never been more sure of anything I’ve done,” she promises.

He kisses the top of her head. “You’ve always been sure of yourself.”

Natasha smooths her thumb over her engagement ring, now on her right hand. “This feels different though,” she admits hesitantly. “It’s the one thing I’ve ever been scared of doing.”

That’s not entirely true. There are plenty of things she’s been scared of in her life. She’s a military aviator. But flying, her career–all the other things–they always feel like they are largely within her control, even when things don’t turn out as expected. If she works hard, prepares well, and plans accordingly, the rest falls into place.

Loving Jake doesn’t come with control. Left up to her, a cocky, smart ass, antagonistic fellow aviator is not who she would have picked to fall for. Even falling in love had been a question mark on her life road map. But they were in too deep before they even realized they’d left the shore a long way back, everyone else well aware of the only three words left to say between them. Those three words, though they’ve been said many times since, still terrify her because they mean there’s another person at the controls of her heart.

She squeezes his hand as he clears his throat and swipes a tear from his cheek. “Thank you, Dad.”

Mama comes over to them, practically floating in a midnight blue dress with lace sleeves. “Your gown’s going to get wrinkled sitting down, bumblebee,” she worries. Natasha gets to her feet to keep Mama calm and lets her fuss over the back of the gown. She meets her dad’s gaze and they suppress their smiles. This is how her mother deals with her nerves.

“I’ve got it, Mama,” Gabby sighs. She’s stunning in her dark green bridesmaid gown with her hair flowing down her back in luscious brown waves, one side swept up with a gold, floral hairpiece. “Luca’s waiting for you.”

Natasha gives Mama a final hug and reluctantly watches her leave. Lise, the wedding planner, motions for the groom and bride’s parties to follow her out too. The room falls still and oddly hushed with only her sister and father left at her sides.

Gabby picks up the bouquet and smiles at her almost shyly. Natasha’s heard horror stories of family members falling out while planning a wedding, but she’s never felt closer to her sister and isn’t sure she would be here without her. Had it been up to her with all of the planning and decisions that had gone into this day, she’d be marrying Jake in a courthouse with no one but them and a witness. “Jake’s going to lose it when he sees you,” Gabby says reassuringly.

Natasha’s heart flutters with nerves for the first time. She hasn’t seen Jake since he kissed her goodbye early this morning when she left to get ready. It’s a little unfair. He opted for dress whites for the ceremony so she’s seen him in his wedding attire. But he’s never seen her like this. Silly as it is, because Jake wouldn’t care if he married her wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she hopes he likes the dress she picked. “He’ll kill me if he cries,” she laughs. Only because he’ll owe her money for betting she’ll cry more. He never learns, but she loves him for that too.

“He’s not going to be able to help it, Captain,” her dad warns while her sister looks her over with a wry twist to her mouth.

“Yeah, he’s going to be a fast widower then because you’re stunning, Nasha,” Gabby adds, her face brightening with anticipation. “C’mon, let’s see if we can hear what’s happening.” She pulls Natasha to the door, and they’re like little kids again with their ears pressed to the wood trying to listen in while their parents talk.

When the guitar instrumental of “Your Song” starts, Natasha grabs Gabby’s hand knowing that Jake’s entering the ceremony now. She imagines him walking down the aisle, tall and handsome while he struggles to look appropriately solemn instead of grinning from ear to ear. They’d agreed to let the other pick the song that they would walk down the aisle to, and she chose this one for him. Its sentiment is deceptively straightforward but there are profound depths within it, as there are in him and their life together. She also wants Jake to know how proud she is for everyone to know that he is the most important part of her life.

Her stomach suddenly turns to a mess of butterflies. There’s a knock on the door, and Lise pops her head in. “We’re ready for you, Natasha.” Early on in their planning, Lise kept calling her “the bride,” but for some reason constantly being referred to by her marriage title annoyed Natasha and she’d insisted on her name. But she can no longer escape that today, that is what she is.

Before panic can seize her, Gabby places the bouquet in her hands and kisses her cheek. “Just keep looking at Jake,” she whispers. Dad offers her his arm while Gabby moves behind her to adjust Natasha’s train and veil.

“Remember,” he tells her with a reassuring smile, placing his hand over the one she rests on his forearm, “today is about your life with Jake. The rest is all ceremony.”

That helps settle her nerves, and she’s further bolstered by the excitement of their friends and family as she walks past them to the end of the procession. Bob beams and waves at her and Rooster leans down to kiss her cheek. Nora pumps up her hands.

Lise directs her to stand behind Alexis, her nieces Cora and Olivia, and cousin’s son, Charlie, who clutches the petal covered tray with the rings like his little life depends on it. The girls all wear dresses with floating white skirts and an oversized bow at their back. Alexis’s hair is braided in a thick, ribbon threaded crown around her head while Olivia and Cora have half their dark curls pulled back in bows. Charlie wears an adorable black three piece suit with a dark green tie that matches those of the civilian groomsmen.

“So pretty,” Alexis sighs in awe, looking up at her through wide, round eyes. Today, with her hair up, she favors Nora more than Payback with her high cheekbones and square jaw.

“You look like a princess,” Olivia agrees, brushing the front of Natasha’s dress with her fingers. Cora nods from where she hides in her older cousin’s side.

“You all look like princesses too,” Natasha whispers back, making the girls smile.

Gabby takes her place as Maid of Honor beside Jake’s Best Man, his cousin, Zach. Several years younger than Jake, he’d been the talk of the rehearsal dinner with his height, thick waves of dark hair that swoop to his shoulders, and full lips. He hands Gabby her bouquet and murmurs something that makes her lean into him with a giggle. Ahead in the line, Rooster looks over his shoulder at them.

One by one the pairs disappear through the gauzy curtains that sway with the late afternoon breeze. Then the children with their tray of rings and baskets. Cora insists on holding onto Olivia, so the two older girls help spread her petals. Natasha waits until she hears the first strums of “Every Breath You Take” and takes a deep breath. This is it.

“The stalker song?” she’d asked when Jake suggested it, barely containing her laughter because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

He’d looked slightly sheepish and a little upset because he heard her judgment anyway. “We have only so many times to tell someone we love them, Nat. I just want you to know that no matter what happens to me, and even if you can’t see me, I’ll always be with you.” She’d had nothing to say to that, especially once she heard the instrumental version.

The curtains part and the guests are asked to stand for the bride. All eyes turn toward her as she walks down the petal scattered aisle on her father’s arm. A breeze lifts and flutters her veil, skirt, and loose tendrils of hair and carries the guests’ gasps and murmurs past her ears. When she shivers, Natasha isn’t sure whether it’s because of the change in temperature or the change to her life waiting only feet ahead of her.

Taking Gabby’s suggestion, Natasha looks for Jake and finds him on the dais at the front. Their gazes lock, and his jaw goes momentarily slack at the sight of her. He clenches his teeth just in time to keep his mouth closed and his face relatively solemn. Although his lips are taut with the emotion that he’s trying to blink out of his eyes, he’s beaming hard enough to wash the whole terrace in his pride.

She doesn’t bother to try to contain her smile as her heart soars beyond the height of the mountains behind him. Her father is right. Today is about the rest of her life with the man standing before her, looking at her like the universe moves at her command. Although she’s seen him in his uniform plenty of times, Jake’s never looked so dazzling and yet so vulnerable. It requires a significant amount of her restraint to proceed to the tempo of the music rather than run into his arms, so she takes the time to memorize every detail of the way he looks in this moment for forever.

Her father pauses so Mama, who’s already clutching a wad of soaked tissues, can hold Natasha’s face and kiss each of her cheeks. “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” she tells her.

“I love you, Mama.” Natasha is startled by the tears that rise to hers. Her sister-in-laws blow her kisses and wave her attention toward the front.

When Natasha turns from her family, Jake has stepped down to meet her. He waits, hands folded in front of him. Up close, she can see that he’s somehow even more handsome than she imagined. Especially with his blond hair a little longer at the top so that it folds into a neat wave, the closest he’s ever worn it to regulation, and his uniform slightly strained across his chest and upper arms.

Dad escorts her the last few steps, and they stop before Jake. “I’m trusting you to take care of her,” her father says with a fervor that surprises her.

Jake nods solemnly through the glistening tracks of tears on his face. “I promise, sir. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second she will be the most important part of my life.”

Natasha almost starts crying right then and there.

Her father looks down at her. “Are you ready?” She nods, not trusting herself to speak, and he takes the hand on his forearm and places it in Jake’s large, warm, sure one. Kissing her cheek one last time, he leaves them to go forward together.

“Too late,” she promises, although her pulse threatens to drown out the words. “I’m not leaving without you.” He sways forward, gaze dropping to her lips.

“After, dude,” interrupts Coyote from his spot in the line of groomsmen to their guests’ loud amusement. “You kiss her after you’re married now.”

They chuckle, the last of her hesitation melting away, and Jake helps her onto the dais.

—

It’s not until their vows that her nerves return. She’s not sure whether she’s glad Jake is going first to warm up the crowd or worried she’ll have to follow him.

Several bursts of knowing laughter and groans among their parties and the guests tell her that isn’t a joke. She shakes her head at him in disbelief as he goes on. “I can’t tell if this hurt or helped our rsvps because I also told them they could only eat if I liked what they said. People took the assignment with varying degrees of seriousness. Some, like your wizzo, were clearly okay with starving for the night.

Natasha glances over at Bob who looks at her like you knew what you were getting into with this one. “There are children present so I can’t repeat exactly what he said in his response, but it was to the effect that he has more respect for you than he does for me. Which, if I’m honest, most of our guests, including too many members of my own family, seem to agree with. But if this were about me, we could have saved a lot of money not feeding everyone and had a much longer honeymoon. If the Navy could spare us for that long.

His eyes softening while everyone laughs at his compulsion to brag about them even in his vows is her only warning that he might have an emotional juggernaut up his uniform sleeve. “But today, and every day from here forward, is officially about you, Nat. And I say ‘officially’ because it’s actually been that way for a long time. From the day our paths first crossed in training, even before I took my head out of my as–behind, excuse me–to hopefully be the man you deserve, I’ve looked up to you for being the incredibly brilliant, competitive, and kind person that you are. I know you don’t put much stock in how beautiful you are on the outside, but what I see most is a reflection of how absolutely stunningly beautiful you are on the inside. Everything you touch, everything you join, everyone you know is better for having you as part of them. If you only knew the stories the people here shared about what you mean to their lives and what you have done for them, you wouldn’t be standing here about to put a ring on my finger.

She looks to the sky to fight every urge to cry until she realizes that means missing all of the effort Jake has gone through to put his love into words. Natasha surrenders and lets her eyes fall back to his face, willing only that her own doesn’t crumple into a bawling disaster. Tenderly and careful of her makeup, he dabs a handkerchief to the tears along her already soaked cheeks and chin before he continues. “The only reason I am standing here, willing to let you do that, is because I can swear that I will live by the example you set to wake up every single day and learn from my mistakes to do better. I will cheer you on to be the best at anything you do but always be there to make sure you know you are everything and enough as you are. And I promise to remember that as hard as it can be to say “sorry,” it is harder to know you’re hurting because of me. I will do my best to make you smile when you’re too hard on yourself. I will believe in you on those rare occasions you doubt yourself. I will hold you when you’re afraid to cry or be scared. I swear to always be there to take care of you, in sickness and in health, so I don’t waste a moment of this life with you. Natasha, I trust, that like everything else with you in it, our marriage will be better because of you. But I promise, too, to make sure that even on the hardest days, it is always the best part of both our lives.”

From the sound of sniffles and nose blowing, she’s not the only one who couldn’t keep her eyes dry during his vows. And crap. She has to follow that. Gabby offers her the folded square from her bouquet, but she motions for her to keep it. Natasha flexes each of her fingers then summons every bit of her composure to make her own promises to him.

“Jake,” she starts with a smirk, imitating the veneer of humility he can slather ironically across any word. A smile of recognition tucks into the corner of his mouth. “I’d saved time on my calendar to write my vows but then one day you made me so angry that I figured it was as good a time as any to start them so I could remind myself why I agreed to go through with this before the next time you decided not to listen to me.” Their guests laugh nervously on his behalf. She flashes him a reassuring grin to let him know that’s as hard of a time as she’s going to give him for allowing a lactose intolerant Alexis to have a milkshake while he was on babysitting duty. “What I found is that on the other side of whatever it is that you did to make me mad is something that I love most about you.

Her insides melt at the quiet surprise that loosens the lines around his eyes and mouth. “Sometimes you’re so confident in your own ability to solve a problem that you don’t listen when someone tells you how. But from that also comes your open sense of adventure and fun, your willingness to try a different way of doing things, and your unwavering belief that there is no problem too big for us if we work through it together. Sometimes you jump into things before you’ve thought them through. But that’s because you know that life can be too short to have all the answers and all the plans figured out. And you are always there to catch me as fast as you are to jump. You may be able to push someone’s buttons, but you know the right buttons to push because you are, contrary to what you might want people to believe, one of the most sensitive, protective, and caring people I’ve ever met. You are my fiercest protector but also the first to let me soar. You never second guess yourself or hesitate when someone needs your protection, and although that has gotten you in trouble from time to time, it’s what allows me to live as fearlessly as you. Because you are also one of the most fearless people I’ve ever known, one of the most brave, and one of the most honorable. And only you would think you have to make any promises or be anything more than you are for me to want today and every day to be your wife, to have the privilege of loving you, caring for you, and building a life with you.

At this point, she knows Jake will win their bet because only a single tear arcs out the corner of his eye. But Natasha couldn’t care less because she can tell from the intensity with which he’s watching her that he’s engraving every phrase into his memory. And if someone were to ask him a year from now, without hesitation or review, he’ll remember what she said today word for word. “You are my d-head because I love you as much for the things about you that make me angry as I do for the things about you that make you the man of my dreams. Because all of it makes you the man of my dreams, even if I didn’t know what I was dreaming of until you were right in front of me. You are never hard to love, Jake, only impossible to resist loving. And I know our dreams for ourselves are big, our goals incredibly lofty, but I promise in this life and any other, if all I get to do is laundry and taxes with you, I will be happy.”

—

Jake reaches for her hands to watch their ring warming ceremony while “Accidentally in Love” fills the late afternoon air. The tiny pouch of their wedding bands passes from guest to guest, each taking a moment to bless them, give them their well wishes, kiss them, cheer them. Everyone’s love poured into their own for today and the rest of their lives to come.

The lively tune, an anthem to them finding themselves in love before they even knew they were falling for one another, keeps the rings moving quickly. Jake’s parents clasp the pouch together then lift their hands to their lips to kiss it. When the bands reach Maverick and Penny, he salutes them and she presses them to her heart. Amelia cups them and blows into her palms. Natasha’s aunt makes the sign of the cross with the pouch and presses it to her lips. At last the rings come to her mother, who holds them while the rest of her family stacks their hands over hers then raises them in a loud cheer. Unprompted, all of their guests stand and applaud as the warmed rings are returned to Zach.

Carefully, he removes the band meant for Natasha and gives it to Jake. Everything goes quiet, still. So still that Natasha realizes she’s stopped breathing. She watches Jake’s face waver in its composure while he slides the delicate, twisted vine, diamond ring onto her finger. “Natasha, I give you this ring as a gift that lasts forever. Know that I am always with you, behind you, by your side, and I’ll ride in this life with you to the end.”

He wets his lips, cheeks and eyes pinched to hold back his tears. With her wedding band in place forever, he moves her engagement ring back to her left hand then caresses her knuckles with his thumb. “I love you, Nat,” he whispers, touching his forehead and nose to hers. In this moment, it’s only them bound in the love neither of them expected to find but won’t let go now they’ve found it. Finally, she exhales.

It takes all of Natasha’s training to keep her hands steady when Gabby passes her the gold wedding band meant for Jake. Guiding it onto his finger, she promises, “Jake, I give you this ring as a gift that lasts forever. Know that I’m always with you, behind you, by your side, and I’ll ride in this life with you to the end.”

A swell of elation sends the words deep into her soul, permanently shifting the axis of her heart to align with his. She loves the way his hand looks with the band on his finger, and she’s not sure she’ll ever get tired of looking at it there. Jake touches her cheek, stroking away a tear she doesn’t realize she sheds.

“By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

The pronouncement is barely finished before he leans in to kiss her. The touch of his lips is light and tender at first, one arm wrapping firmly around her shoulders and the other her waist to hold her close. But as their groom and bride’s parties stamp their feet and whistle them on, he sweeps her lips apart with his tongue and kisses her knees out from under her. Natasha folds into him, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep herself afloat in the overwhelming rush of love he couldn’t put into words.

—

When the civilian members of their parties and their guests have filed out to await them at the terrace entrance, Maverick, Bob, Rooster, Coyote, Payback, Fanboy, and Jake’s groomsmen from the Naval Academy, John and Derek, line up before them. At Maverick’s command they march down the aisle in two rows.

Natasha laces her fingers through Jake’s. “Pull me close, wrap me in your aching arms.” He raises their joined hands to his lips and kisses the newly added symbols of their marriage, then the knuckles on either side. “Ready?” she asks.

“As long as you don’t let go,” he promises. When he helps her down from the dais, she wonders how it took them so long to realize that they could have all this together. She never wants to let him go.

The white uniformed lines of their friends stop and turn to face one another. They each march two steps back until there’s a passage between them for Jake and Natasha. Maverick calls the command to draw swords. As one, their friends pull their swords from their sheaths and cross them in the air, forming the Arch of Swords. Everyone applauds the fairytale-like salute, and Jake squeezes her hand as they begin their first walk as husband and wife.

When they reach Maverick and Fanboy, they lower their crossed swords, neither of them trying to conceal their grins. “The price of passage is a kiss!” Fanboy chants gleefully.

Jake cradles her jaw and softly kisses her lips to their friends and family’s cheers. They’re allowed to proceed to Rooster and Payback’s lowered swords. Payback winks as Rooster announces, “The price of passage is a kiss!”

This time Jake wraps an arm around her and pulls her into him. Natasha rises onto tiptoe, leaning into his chest, and letting her foot drift into the air. The applause grows louder. Rooster and Payback let them proceed to John and Derek.

They don’t know her as well so their smiles are less suggestive than the Dagger Squad’s. “The price of passage is a kiss,” calls Derek.

Jake slides a hand beneath her bun and with his thumb tilts her mouth up to his, sweeping his tongue across hers while several of their guests, her brothers among them she’s pretty sure, whistle loudly through their fingers.

When they get to the last pair of crossed swords, Bob beams at them while Coyote smirks as if he’s seen this coming from the first moment he saw them together. One final time, Bob and Coyote together tell them, “The price of passage is a kiss.”

Jake dips her, sending a firestorm through her veins with his last deep kiss. Their guests go wild clapping, cheering, and stamping their feet. He has to do all the work of setting her back on her feet, and she still stumbles to get her footing. They pass through the last set of raised swords, Bob and Coyote swatting each of them on the butt as they stumble forward into their new life.

Jake clutches her hand, not letting go.

Part II | Part III

Ode to Phoenix Masterlist

Hannix Football Rivalry Series AU

Tag List: @melodiousoblivionao3

#autumntouched<3 #natasha trace x jake seresin #fic rec

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couchpotatoaniki · 4 years ago

Text

One Year ❣︎ Seven: Never Ask Friends for Help

Chapter Summary: As San expected, he caught a cold after your little prance through the storm in Hallim Park the previous day. Luckily, you're fine, which gives you the wonderful opportunity to look after him and the even more wonderful opportunity to let your chaotic nature shine.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, (this chapter is pure fluff and crack) Word count: 3.2k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter Six For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

Silence filled your room when you woke up the next morning. It was strange, since San had said he would be waking you up, and there you were, still lying in bed by the time noon rolled around.

It wasn’t as if you were waiting for him to come and get you, but you just wanted to take advantage of the time in such a warm blanket. Yeosang often joked about how you became a cold-blooded reptile whenever you felt sleepy, body temperature dropping and your tongue sharp like that of a snake.

Basically, it was his long-winded way of calling you a cranky, heat-stealing bitch.

Not that you minded at all, since Yeosang was a cranky bitch himself when sleepy.

But then half an hour passed, and there was still no sign of San. Throwing the blanket off your form, you slipped on a pair of slippers and got ready for the day, finding him becoming the very next thing on your agenda.

And the state you found him in was certainly laughable--to you anyway.

“Did you seriously get sick after a little storm?” you chuckled, eyes taking in San wrapped in the covers as if he was a baby, sniffling every few seconds.

“Oh, shut it,” he glared at you, speaking with a nasally voice.

You took a step into his room, one looking fairly similar to yours, with little pictures or much personalisation in general. Must not have stayed here often then, or had many memories he wanted to keep.

That thought... it made you feel a little sad.

Once you reached the edge of his bed, you sat down beside him, noticing just how sickly-looking he was. Skin paler, hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat, flush cheeks and nose, uneven breathing, soft whimpering.

Your smile faded slightly. “How long have you been like this?”

“Since last night,” he coughed, brushing away your hand as you reached out to check his temperature. “Don’t touch me, I don’t want you to catch whatever this is.”

Clicked your tongue at his response and did so anyway. “Holy shit, you’re burning up. More than you should be. Has anyone seen to you yet?” Instantly, you brushed the hair from his eyes, simultaneously wiping away the sweat. Was pretty gross, but you didn’t mind at all.

San relaxed under your gentle touch, finding it cool and soothing against his muddled senses. “N-No. I texted Hongjoong to tell everyone to leave me alone. Clearly didn’t do a good enough job if you’re here.”

Lightly hitting his chest over the blanket, you scoffed. “You’re happy I’m here, don’t lie.”

Grinning, he sighed. “Can’t hide anything from you, now can I, Hun?”

“Nope,” you huffed as you got up. “Now, I’m going to prepare something for you to eat since you probably haven’t had anything since yesterday.” On cue, his stomach grumbled painfully loudly, making the man visibly cringe as he was about to decline your offer so you would stay with him for a little bit longer. “Looks like Mister Tummy’s already answered for you.”

“Mister Tummy doesn’t know shit.”

“Mister Tummy knows more shit than you do. In fact, it processes all of your shit for you.”

“Gross.”

“I know. Mister Tummy’s gross. But full of wisdom.”

“You know what, just go. Leave me be for a bit.”

Evil chuckling reached his ears. “Now that you’ve said it, I’ll just be here to annoy you as much as I can. But before we do that, keep yourself bundled up and make sure you’re sweating buckets. It’s the most effective way to break a nasty fever like that.” You began wrapping him up in the thick blanket like he was a burrito.

With that, you left for the kitchen, calling Seonghwa’s number. As the ringing continued, you looked around, noticing how there were few guards and servants around the place. Not even Wooyoung, Jongho, or Hongjoong could be seen in your trek to make food.

“What do you want, troll?”

“You’ve got to stop calling me that. Whatever happened to ‘hello’? Too mainstream for you?”

“...Hello, troll. What do you want?”

Narrowing your eyes ahead of you, smirk pressing against your lips, you tried to look around for the chef. Not there either. “Much better. Now, can you give me a recipe for that soup with ‘magical healing properties’ you used to give me?”

“Bone broth?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m on adventure to nurse a sociopathic cuddle-demon back to health, now are you going to give me the recipe or am I going to get Yunho to drag it out of you? Because I know very well that he will.”

Seonghwa’s sigh was loud enough to be audible through the phone.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Just text me the recipe, thank you, love you, byeeeeee.” Immediately ended the call, looking in all the cupboards, the pantry, the fridge, and the freezer. This place was stocked to the brim.

Shortly after, your phone began buzzing, Seonghwa requesting to video call you. Swiping the green button, you were met with a (slightly laggy) picture of Seonghwa’s chin, hearing him yell off screen. “--UNHO. MINGI. I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU BETTER PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP BOTH YOUR ASSES.”

You could make out the response, “Hehe, kinky.” Most likely Mingi from the very nature of the comment.

“What do you want, troll?” you echoed his words back to him, catching his attention--the other boys most likely long gone into the depth of the house.

“Well, well, well, how the tables have turned,” he smirked, moving the camera so you could see him better.

“It’s ‘how the turntables’.”

He looked at you with an unimpressed expression, not pleased with your Office reference, and carried on to ignore it. “So there is no way in hell I’m sending you the recipe through text, since people can easily hack that--”

“And by people, you mean--”

“Yeosang, yes, who else? Little rat bastard keeps trying to steal my recipes.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

“As if he hasn’t heard it already about a million times.”

You chuckled in response, knowing how true it was. “Fair enough. Now spill your secrets and bless me with the ability to cook.”

One word to describe the last hour of your life would be... Well, you couldn’t really think of a word. It was purely of Seonghwa screaming over the phone and you screaming back. And panicking. Both of you definitely panicked.

But all in all, the bone broth was made and tasted fairly decent--a worry you had after fucking up so many times in making a simple recipe.

With a pale and dreary look upon his face, Seonghwa looked at you through the phone, narrowing his eyes on you pouring some of the hot mixture in to a bowl. “You’re actually gonna feed him that? Sure you’re trying to nurse him, or was this a master plan to kill him after that ordeal? Because if it’s the latter, then there were much easier ways of doing so.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, whispering prayers in your head that it would actually help San’s fever. “And goodbye.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Is that it? You’re gonna use me and then lea--”

You hand pulled away from the phone screen, after having pressed the red button. Chuckled to yourself with your comedic timing, completely forgetting the earful you’d get of the elder the next time you call him.

Gathering a tray, you placed the bowl of bone broth on top of it, as well as a packet of painkillers, a glass of water, and some turmeric tea; why San has it, you have no idea, since he seems to be a hot coffee-kind of person.

Would’ve added a flower, because you felt like being extra, but that would seem more like a romantic thing than a... well, whatever the hell you two were right now.

This situation wasn’t exactly common enough for it to be given a name.

Wafting away the thought, you grabbed the tray and walked quickly to the mobster’s bedroom. Didn’t need to worry about any spillage since you’ve had years of practice being quick and precise with movement.

Holding one hand beneath the tray (feeling a little heavy, but again, you’ve had practice), you used the other to open the door, finding San still swaddled in his blanket, sweating like a pig.

“Y/N...” he whimpered, an eye opening at the sound of you entering. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state was different to how he usually was--and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

“I’m right here, San,” you replied in a soft tone, brushing back his hair once more as soon as you placed the tray on the bedside-table beside you. “Brought you some food too. Can you sit up for me?”

Letting out soft whines, he tried to lift his body up, but was too weak and too caged in to get his back even a centimetre off the mattress. You saw the issue, and pulled the covers apart slightly so he could move a little more, both hands pulling gently at his shoulders so he could sit up properly.

Never had you seen someone this unwell from a simple fever. Sure, you’ve felt like shit before, but San’s condition was a little worrying. “Is there some private doctor I can call?”

“What,” he huffed, a smile etching onto his face as he looked into your eyes, “makes you think I have a private doctor?”

“Oh, I dunno, you’re a rich asshole?”

Chuckling, he let his head flop to the side, neck suddenly too weak to hold it up properly. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Annoying, but funny, but sarcastic, but beautiful.”

“Okay, do you wanna continue with that word vomit or are you gonna eat?” You cocked your brow, head tilting to match his posture. “Also, you’re not gonna flatter me by calling me beautiful. That shit doesn’t work on me anymore.”

It had slightly upset San knowing that you had said ‘anymore’--upset him knowing that there were others complimenting what his. But he couldn’t blame them. You really were beautiful in his eyes, even if he hadn’t thought so when he initially laid eyes on you.

“Don’t wanna eat.”

Sighing, you fixed yourself and picked up the bowl, mixing it as you blew to cool it down a little. “You’re not well, you gotta.”

He looked at you with big wide eyes and a small pout--and you couldn’t help but think it was a little cute. “Don’t wanna... unless you feed me?”

Okay, maybe it was a little less cute.

You exhaled, still stirring. “If I do, then you’ll have it all?” He put his hand over his heart, nodding with a sincere look on his face. “Fine then.” You lifted a spoon full of the bone broth to his lips, which he look into his mouth promptly--eyes glued to yours as he did so.

San hummed earnestly. “It’s...actually pretty good.”

Eye twitching, you lightly pushed him. “Why? Did you expect it to be shit?”

“I mean, I heard faint screaming and what I assume was swearing, which could have only come from you because I let everyone have a day off for today. So, yes, forgive my assumption that it would murder me,” he chuckled, opening his mouth once more, in which you carefully put more broth in.

“Be happy that I’m doing this much for you.”

“Because you feel guilty for getting me ill?”

“No, it was your fault for not taking a hot shower when we came back, like I told you to--and your immune system for being so shit.”

“Okay, first of all, I can’t help it if my immune system wants to act out. I usually don’t get this ill.” You sent him a ludicrous look, continuing to feed him. “What? I really don’t!”

“Tell that to the rain.”

“I-- nevermind. But the second thing is that I offered to take a shower, but you said no!”

“That’s because you wanted to shower with me. No way in hell I was gonna let that happen!”

“You have the shower room for it!”

″Yeah, and I've already passed on my grievances to you yesterday about that hell-room!”

“Well, at least with me with you, you don’t have to worry about--what did you call it? Oh yeah--’Casper the fuckin’ Perverted Ghost’.”

“I’d take a ghost over you any day.”

“You won’t be saying that in a year.”

“Bold of you to assume that I won’t be choosing Casper over you. After all, I’ll be spending time with him as well.”

San scoffed, slightly amused but annoyed at the same time. “Are you actually trying to get me jealous of something that doesn’t exist?”

“Who said Casper doesn’t exist?”

“‘Cause ghosts don’t exist.”

“Tell that to Casper. You’ll find him in my shower room.”

Amidst the conversation, neither of you had noticed how the bowl and cup was now empty, their contents now residing in San’s stomach. But when you did, you got up--ready to walk to the kitchen and put everything away--until his very warm hands wrapped around your elbow gently.

“Please don’t go. You can put all that stuff away later. Just... stay with me.”

Sighing, you decided to listen to him for once an put the tray down before tightening the covers around him again--making him whine. “Noooooo, I wanna hold you.”

“What happened to not wanting me to get sick?”

“I’m ill, stop taking my muddled brain so seriously.”

Your brow cocked up, amused while you looked over his flushed face. “So you’d be willing get me sick too?”

Another pout formed on his face. “Of course not,” he mumbled. “You know what, you’re right. You can go.”

He avoided looking at you, instead fixing his saddened gaze at the window. Your natural scepticism told you that he was just faking it, only putting on an act to get your attention and affection. Yet, for the first time in a while, doubt began to seep in.

Maybe... maybe you could give in. Just this once.

Sighing, you slipped off your slippers and lay down beside him, an arm and leg wrapping around his body to bring him closer to you. A stronger tint of red covered his face as he looked at you, flabbergasted, as he tried to wriggle out of your touch. “What are you doing, you’ll get sick--”

“My immune system is much stronger than yours, I’ll live. Besides, you look cosy,” you muttered, nestling your face into the soft blanket. Even his blanket smelled like a garden in the rain, despite the amount of sweat that’s probably seeped into it.

Truly, he did, and you couldn’t deny that you wanted to hug the human burrito.

San had, instead, found you cute, cheek squished against the fabric surrounding him. Let his mind wonder to the image of you pressed against him--without the covers coming between you two.

Again.

Would you look this peaceful, sleeping on his chest, on a regular day--he thought.

“Are you just going to stare at me or are you gonna get some rest?” San could feel your voice vibrating through the covers despite the thickness of it.

“Hard not to stare at you, ya know?” he relaxed himself, despite feeling like he was baking beneath the blanket, and let his head rest on the pillow, cheek pressed against your forehead.

“Goddamn, you’re hot. Did you take any medicine while I was cooking?”

“Oh, Hun, there’s no cure for sexiness,” he coughed, a smirk pulling at his lips from the joke he made.

Another sigh was pulled from your throat as you got up to look for any painkillers he could take. Sane began to whine once more, rolling over since he could barely had enough energy to move with his arms when he was this tired--a full belly of warm broth and tea not helping what so ever.

“No--wait. Come back...”

“You need painkillers.”

With a straight face, he stared deep into your eyes, slightly glossy and sparkling under the dim sunlight coming into the room. “But you’re my painkiller.”

“Yeah, I’m going to get you some meds,” you deadpanned, scooping up the tray to leave the grown-ass mafia boss whining and rolling around, throwing a tantrum.

After some hard thinking and remembering that Wooyoung had given you his number, you called him up as you stood in the doorway, looking at San’s calm state of sleeping.

“My dear sister,” you heard a voice finally say over the phone, “what requires my assistance?”

“...Wooyoung?”

“Yes, dear sister?”

“What in the world has possessed you call me your ‘dear sister’?”

“Because you’re gonna be my friend’s wife some day, so I need to get used to seeing you as my sister-from-another-mister.”

Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you decided to not comment on his outlandish claims. “San’s not feeling well.”

“Is that why he sent us all away?” he laughed, somehow finding this situation amusing--since this is what his best friend tends to do; finds his weakened state as vulnerability, and if there was one thing San hated, it was feeling vulnerable.

But if he truly hated that, then why pursue this why you--when he know that it would force him to bring his guard down?

“I think so. No one was here when I came out of my room. Not the cooks or the maids or even the guards,” you said, taking another gander as if there might be someone roaming the halls to disprove your statement.

There wasn’t.

“Okay then. You want me to give you our private doctor’s number?”

Chuckling to yourself because you knew you were right (immediately confusing Wooyoung), you hummed, “yeah, that would be great.”

“O-Okay. Lemme text it to you. But do you need anything else? I know from experience San can get a little clingy when he’s not in his right mind,” he said, a boisterous giggle passing his lips.

“Nah, it’s fine.” You let your gaze brush over your captor’s figure. “Just send me the number and I’ll take it from there.”

“Okie dokie then, dear sister. I’ll leave you to deal with that enigma.”

“Alright, Wooyoung. See you tomorrow?”

“Call me ‘dear brother’, then maybe I’ll hang u--”

You shoved your phone into your back pocket after ending the call, thinking that it would take him a few minutes. Proving you wrong, the phone buzzes to life within the next ten seconds, Wooyoung sending you a couple of messages.

Wooyoung: Well that was a rude Wooyoung: No matter, I still love ya, dear sister Wooyoung: Probs should clarify that it’s platonic in case San sees it and gets all jelly Wooyoung: Anyway, here’s the number Wooyoung: XXXXXXXXXX

Y/N: Thanks, bro

Wooyoung: 🥺🥺 You called me ‘bro’

Smiling a little, you called the number--which had indeed taken you to a doctor’s clinic. After hearing of his exact temperature and other symptoms, the woman over the phone had concluded that it was as you first suspected--the common cold.

She told you to keep giving him painkillers and he should be fine within the week. Ending the call with a polite ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, you left to get San more broth and medication, and hopefully you’d lay down with him again.

Which is exactly what you did for the rest of the day, opting to stay with him for the night too in order to make sure he really was okay. Thankfully, the worst of his fever had passed by the time morning came around and he was feeling much better.

You, however, were exhausted after looking after him, deep in your slumber as you shifted closer to San, who had broken free of his blanket prison and wrapped it around the two of you. The sunlight peeking through the window paled in comparison to the faint smile of glee San had adorned when he saw you.

Cheeked pressed up against his shoulder, and arm and a leg draped over his body like a koala clinging to a tree.

Just like he had thought the day before.

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby , @sparklychangbin , @shawkneecaps If you wanna be tagged, feel free to ask!

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gracelesslady23 · 2 years ago

Note

absolutely Love your prongsfoot fics!,!!I am curious about ur vampire and injustice wips. loved that azkaban snippet, it was deliciously angsty!!!

Thanks so much for the compliment and the ask! (super glad you liked the angsty Azkaban snippet too – I’m so excited to one day post that fic 😊)

The Vampire WIP was my original plan for my fic for James Potter fest I realised was way too ambitious for the timeline lol. (I ended up submitting this fic for the fest 😊).

The WIP fic takes the concept of Vampire Hunter James and Vampire Sirius much further… Sirius and James both come from a long line of Vampires and Vampire Hunters, respectively. They meet accidently when they are very young and quickly become fast friends until Fleamont discovers just who his son has become friends with and their friendship splits apart.

Many years later James (who is a fully fledged hunter in his own right) gets seriously injured in a raid against Vampire Bellatrix gone wrong and is admitted to hospital. Sirius who has split from his family at that point works in the hospital and uncovers Bellatrix’s plan to finish James off. Remembering his old friend fondly, despite the fact that James now openly hates all vampires including Sirius, Sirius pretty much abducts James to keep him safe… While hiding out at Sirius’s place while James recovers and completely despite themselves they can’t help but be drawn to each other’s personality (as well as being extremely physically attracted to each other lol). Basically my attempt at a enemies to lovers with a vampire spin.

Here's a snippet:

~~~

Sirius rubbed his palms nervously over his jeans. If were capable of it, he was sure his palms would be sweating profusely.

“So…” Remus said after far too long of a pause, “you’ve kidnapped a vampire hunter.”

Sirius cringed.

“I didn’t kidnap him.”

Remus tore his eyes away from the sleeping body on the bed to regard Sirius with deeply unimpressed look.

“You hypnotised to sleep, carted him from the hospital where he was receiving medical treatment, brought him to your apartment and now he’s asleep in your bed. I’m keen to hear what you would call it?”

“Saving him?” Sirius offered, the tipping up of his last syllable sounding completely unconvincing even to his own ears. “He killed Rodolphus and almost Bellatrix. It was only a matter of time before Bellatrix found him again and finished him off. Come on Remus, what was I supposed to do? At least here, I can protect him.”

Remus looked down at the snoring lump that was James Potter.

“Just leave him.”

“Remus, you must see reason – ”

“No, you need to see reason. I suspect the only reason he is not currently trying to kill you is because he is asleep.”

~~~

I don’t know if other writers do this, but Injustice is an idea that I love but have put on hold until I become a much better writer and can actually do it some justice (pun intended :P). So, I haven’t really got a snippet for it, but I have got a very large planning document!

Its an AU where Sirius never went to Hogwarts so he and James never met. James is magical lawyer (he mostly lives off his inheritance and takes on cases for the downtrodden pro bono). Anyway Regulus Black turns up at his office and he’s about to turn him away immediately – because why would the Black’s of all people need his services, the Blacks were usually the people James was defending against, not working for!

However, he is intrigued by Regulus’s story… a couple of years before Sirius caused a huge scandal in the wizarding world by confessing to losing his mind and killing twelve muggles as well as his own mother. He was sent to Azkaban never to be released, but Regulus maintains that it wasn’t Sirius that killed them and instead he was taking the fall for their unwell (now deceased) father. James does some of his own research and becomes fascinated not just by the murder itself (and upon inspection how neither Sirius’s confession nor Regulus’s version of events entirely match up with the evidence), but also by Sirius himself. Ultimately James falls for Sirius through character witnesses, stories of his accomplishments and pictures, etc. before they even actually meet, at the same time as trying to uncover the truth of who is actually responsible for the crime Sirius was imprisoned for.

#prongsfoot #wip game #asks #thanks again for the ask!#hp #sb #jp #my fics #snippet

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mel-street · 3 years ago

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SPOILERS AHEAD

okay i dont want to do homework and i just finished episode 6 of tbobf and i have MANY MANY thoughts so imma go on a ramble here

spoilers underneath so be warned :)

- first off COBB VANTH, definitely wasnt expecting to see him again so that was pretty cool, he’s not my favorite but seeing him again was cool

- okay LUKE? AND GROGU? AND AHSOKA? AND MANDO? I AM LITERALLY UNWELL. i cried so hard, im crying now, this seriously isnt something i ever thought i’d see outside of headcannons and fanart on the internet. the 7 year old who decided to watch the weird sci fi movies my dad was so obsessed with is literally SHAKING right now. this was literally my spiderman no way home as a star wars fan

- we need a whole sub section to talk about ahsoka so here we go

if you know me you know i have an INSANE ahsoka obsession. we all know that she’s my favorite star wars character in existance, i’ve read her novel and watched every episode of clone wars and rebels that she’s in as well as her mando episode multiple times.

i know the star wars fandom in there infinite ability to hate star wars has issues with live action ahsoka and ngl it took a while to get used to in the mandolorian, but its definitely grown on me now and i generally dont think there’s anything wrong with rosario’s portrayal. people need to remember that its been YEARS since clone wars ahsoka, she’s no longer the snippy 14 year old girl we all grew up with, she’s aged now. we see this in rebels (another reason for people to go see rebels) and we also see her in the very last episode of rebels, she doesnt talk outside of one line but we see that she’s grown and that she’s changed. people complaining about how ahsoka is “boring” now is just stupid because all she did was grow up and they need to accept it.

and yeah i get how seeing cartoon characters in live action is weird because obviously its not going to be the same as the original but i think what we have is the best its going to get and its pretty good for bringing a character from a different medium to life

on a side note, see rosario play ahsoka after seeing her as claire in daredevil was WEIRD

okay now we’re transitioning to CAD BANE

- literally the part of the episode that made me gasp. he looks SO GOOD in life action and anyone complaining is just plain BLIND (once again, this man is GROWN, he was already grown in clone wars and its been literal YEARS, ofc he’s old and faded)

i was literally so scared for cobb in that scene (also i definitely dont think he’s dead) and hearing his voice again gave me CHILLS

yeah i have a lot more thoughts i just have homework, but that was hands down my favorite star wars episode of all time of all the shows (not counting clone wars and rebels obviously) it was just like *star wars* at its core

also BRING BOBA BACK IN HIS OWN SHOW, i love all the cameos and shit we’re getting but why would they name the show the book of boba fett when he’s not even in like 1/3 of the episodes of his own show? i feel like its just a segway into mando season 3 and although thats great, it feels kind of unfair to boba’s character and temuera

#the book of boba fett #boba fett #star wars #the book of boba fett spoilers #tbobf #tbobf spoilers

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oh-styles · 4 years ago

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THIS DREAM? MAN fuck dream harry omg horrible but imagine famous YN have this dream and maybe not Olivia but whatever costar of harry and she’s moping around all day and he’s ?? What’s goes on and when she says he can’t believe she even thought in a dream he ever would (I just need to restore my faith in make believe Harry pls)

SAME BRO

It would be sad if it was Florence in her dream, because she loves Flo. She’s grown very close with her, and talks to her all the time. Hell, she even cooked dinner for her and Harry a few times. And now, even the thought of her makes her eyes burn.

It’s not real, but it sure as hell felt it. She remembers being home alone, and getting the text from Harry saying he wants her out of the house by the end of the night, because Florence would be moving in. All those years just tossed to the side like a bag of garbage. Not even a moment to think about his daughter, who he would be leaving homeless with her mother.

She knows it’s not real, but it’s hovering over her like a rain cloud.

She spends most of the morning in her office; going through emails, ordering River some new sweaters and socks, and herself a Gucci bag because she’s sad so why not? She hears the gentle knock on the door, and can’t even fathom the thought of looking Harry in the eye.

The cheating bastard--

“Love? I made eggs...” He peeks his head in, and gives her a warm smile. “And toast.”

She closes her laptop, and scoots back in her chair, and admires from her desk the boy standing in the middle of her office in nothing but short running shorts, white ankle socks, and blue marker etched over his chest.

He notices she’s staring, and huffs. “Laid down for two blood minutes...”

“Thank you for breakfast.”

“Well, my pleasure, madam.” He curtsies, before setting the plate in front of her.

“Honest question...but if you were to break up with me, you wouldn’t do it over a text, right?”

He’s caught off guard, and double takes with a stern expression. “No offense, love, but if I were to ever break up with you, toss my casually off the house because it’s obvious I am unwell.”

“Seriously--hypothetical question, just...you wouldn’t do it over text, right?”

“No decent person would.”

“How do you feel about Florence?”

“City or person?”

“Harry, I swear--”

“Did you have a bad dream I dumped you over a text for Flo?” He’s smiling, dipping his head to the side with a pop of his dimple.

“It was a dream, and it was bad, and I enjoyed it very little, yes.”

He shakes his head, but looks behind you, out the window that overlooks the ocean. He ponders for a moment, and then returns. “This morning...you weren’t actually sleeping when you kicked me in the bullocks, were you?”

#famous series #well that was a novel #harry styles imagine

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS BLOODY BOUQUET Vol.6 Sakamaki Reiji [Track 2]

Original title: 黒薔薇の悲劇

Source: Diabolik Lovers Bloody Bouquet Vol. 6 Sakamaki Reiji [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (9:32 ~ 25:30)

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: God Reiji’s love towards the MC is so strong in this one. His inner monologues during the end are super cheesy but I honestly live for that kind of stuff. It’s crazy how he started out as the ‘cold guy’ but in most of the recent stuff, he has been so smooth and sappy. :P I wonder how long he’ll be able to keep the curse a secret from the MC though. He seems to be suffering quite a bit already after all.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Tragedy of the Black Roses

Reiji walks up to you.

“So this is where you’ve been. I was looking for you.”

You flinch, turning around.

“Oh dear? Did I startle you? My sincere apologies. However, you are to blame for wandering around without my permission. Making me look around for you...”

He steps closer.

“... is simply outrageous. Why are you here? Do you have plans to head out, perhaps?”

You explain.

“Ah...To buy flowers? Thank you very much. That is very considerate of you.”

You ask if he needs something.

“No, I baked a cake, so I was wondering if you would like to enjoy a slice together. However, we have a more important business at hand right now. ...To avoid making me go through unnecessary trouble, please remember to get permission from me before doing something from here on out. Understood?”

You nod.

“I am glad you seem to understand.”

*Rustle*

“Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“Fufu...This is your punishment for making me search for you.”

You get flustered.

“Your face is flushed. I’d dare argue that quite some time has passed since we established this relationship, yet you still cannot get used it?”

*Rustle*

“Please try and change that. There is no longer any reason to get embarrassed after all. ...Or are you perhaps enticing me?”

You quickly deny that, trying to get away.

“Woah there. Where are you going? I am not done talking to you.”

You tell Reiji you should go to the kitchen to eat the cake.

“Ah, the cake? That can wait. Right now, it is much more important I have you grow accustomed to the touch of my lips.”

Your eyes widen in surprise.

“No need to be so surprised, is there? Well then, scoot a little closer. Come on...”

*Rustle rustle*

*Smooch*

“Your body seems a little tense, but there is nothing to be afraid of, is there? If you are so resistant to kissing...”

*Rustle*

“Then how about...”

Reiji bites you.

*Gulp*

“...I do this instead? Fufu...”

*Gulp gulp*

“...Haha, seems like you did not dislike that.”

*Ding dong*

Reiji looks up.

“Oh dear? Who could that be? We are not expecting any visitors today. Good grief...They interfered at the worst possible timing. (1) It cannot be helped. I shall go take a look.”

You say it might be for you.

“A package? Did you buy something?”

You explain.

“I see. Let us go together then. It would be better for me to accompany you, in case it is a large package.”

The two of you walk towards the door.

*TIMESKIP*

*Creaaak*

“Oh? There is nobody here. How odd.”

You point towards the ground.

“Hm? What seems to be the matter?”

You pick up the bouquet of flowers.

“A bouquet of black roses. Why has it been left here...?”

You ask Reiji who the bouquet could be from.

“Who knows? I have no clue who might have send us these. For one, if I had to think of someone who would only leave a bouquet of flowers behind without a name on it...Well, I suppose those prank-loving foolish brothers of mine are the only ones who come to mind.”

Reiji frowns.

“It’s just...I doubt they would send us flowers. Who on earth could have...? Either way, show me those for a second.”

You try and hand Reiji the flowers, but prick your finger on one of the thorns in the process.

“...Hm? What is the matter? Do not tell me...A thorn? Good grief, you are so clumsy. What are you doing? You are bleeding. Give me your hand, please.”

He grabs hold of your hand, licking the wound.

“...Hm? No. It is nothing. More importantly, I shall not allow you to selfishly hurt your own body like that. You belong to me after all. Please be careful from here on out. Did I make myself clear? (mumbles) ...That being said, what was that just now?”

You find a card amongst the flowers.

*Rustle*

“Oh? That’s...? A card? Show it to me.”

*Flip*

“Haah...You have stained it with your blood. Good grief. ...Hm? Words have started appearing on the bloodied spots. ...’The throns of the black roses have put a permanent curse on you. Your blood will gradually begin to rot, becoming a poison which torments the immortal. This process can no longer be stopped. There is only one way to survive, to continue having the person you love feast upon your blood. If not, the curse will surely become the end of you.’

...Those are the words written on the card. Hm. Hmph! How ridiculous! ...!!”

Reiji burns the card.

“I am sure it is some sort of prank. No need to worry about it.”

You still seem worried.

“I am the one telling you not to worry, so there is no need to look so anxious.”

He turns towards you.

“If you are so doubtful, why don’t we put it to the test? I shall prove to you that I can suck your blood...without a problem.”

He steps closer.

“Give me your hand.”

*Rustle*

Reiji bites you.

“...Mmh...Nn...Haah...Hah.”

You frown.

“It is nothing. I am simply contemplating where I should suck from next. I can tell from looking at your face that only your finger does not satisfy you after all. Hmph. Well then...Shall I suck from your nape next?”

He bites you once more.

“Mmh...Nn...Haah...Seems like I won’t be able to satisfy you otherwise after all.”

*Gulp gulp*

“Mm...Haah...What a lovely reaction. Ah, but...You needed to be punished, did you not? Something other than my fangs made you bleed after all. If it feels good, it will not count as a pentalty. I must make it more painful.”

You flinch.

“Fufu...No need to be afraid, is there? I am simply teaching you who you belong to. ...Ah, it seems like the cut on your fingertip has opened up once more. Haahn...Mmh...”

*Gulp*

“Nn...Blood is oozing out...Ah. At this rate, I might just suck you dry from your fingertip. ...Hm? What’s the matter?”

You ask if he is okay.

“Seems like you really do not trust me, do you? Have I not told you that everything is alright? No need to worry. See? Take a good look. Do I look unwell in any way?”

You shake your head.

“For one, you are taking this ‘curse’ too seriously. Growing worried over something so vague is a waste of time and energy. Well...I suppose I might need to suck even more of your blood before I start suffering. Fufu...”

*Rustle*

“To put my theory to the test, shall I have even more of your blood? This time...I will suck from your throat...Mmh...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Nn...Mmh...Nn...”

*Rustle*

“Haah, haah...I shall not allow you to fight back. You should...Mmh...just offer me...your blood...Nn...”

*Gulp*

“Haah, haah...”

You nearly collapse.

*Rustle*

“...Woah there! ...Haah...Are you okay? Seems like your knees gave in? Well, I suppose it is true that I cannot savor you thoroughly right here. Let us head to the bedroom then.”

*Rustle rustle*

“We shall continue where we left over there, okay?”

Reiji escorts you to the bedroom.

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick tock・tick tock・tick tock*

“...Aah. Ugh...Seems like she finally...fell asleep...Cough, cough...!! Haah, haah...Haahー...I might have...pushed myself just a little too hard...Cough, cough...!!”

Despite what I told her, the words written on that card were the truth. That was something I found out at once by checking her blood. However, I lied to her. Because I had a feeling that if she were to discover the truth, she would voluntarily try and distance herself from me. The curse had already started to eat away at our bodies. Even so, she accepted my fangs. In that case, there is only one thing I must do. From here on out, no matter what happens, I must ensure she remains ignorant. If I can withstand this suffering all by myself, she should be able to live happily like before, without realizing a thing.

*Creaaaak*

“Haah, haah, haah...All I did was move a little...yet I’m out of breath...That curse must be...quite powerful...Ugh...Haah, haah...However, right now...This is for the best...This is...!”

*Rustle rustle*

“Argh...Haah...”

Reiji gazes at you sleeping.

“For your sake, I am willing to make any sacrifice. Therefore, you don’t need to know anything...and simply...keep on smiling...like always...”

*Creaaaak*

ーー And so, I concealed the truth from her, as my days of suffering in the shadows began. This was extremely painful without a doubt, and cruel above all, but as long as I could keep her by my side...That was the only thought on my mind as I continued to endure the pain and suffering.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) In Japanese he says ‘at a good time/moment’, but it is obviously meant in a sarcastic/ironic way, so it felt more natural to me to just use ‘worst possible timing’. Unlike in spoken dialogue, you can’t use intonation in written speech to indicate that somebody is being sarcastic and actually means the opposite.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #diabolik lovers bloody bouquet #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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