#I am seriously very unwell right now why would they do this

[andromedism]

cool! thanks !

[tartigglez]

"i know it hurts..."

headcanons of some genshin boys when you have your period (pt.1??)

kaeya, diluc, thoma, childe, zhongli (separately) x afab!reader (pronouns not mentioned)

genre: fluff

word count: 800-ish

tags: periods, no distinct mention of blood, wholesome boys (for the most part), a lottttt of physical touch + petnames, kaeya is teehee, diluc is clueless as shit, thoma is absolutely whipped, childe is also clueless, zhongli is wayyyyy clued in

tw/cw: zhongli is written as genderfluid, mentions of foods/drink (soup + tea), kisses in zhongli's, i don't think there's much else to add here, lmk if i missed smth

a/n: surprise? hi! i've had a very emotional night, so its time for something extremely self indulgent. i wrote this mostly for the genderfluid zhongli agenda. also i'd like to remind everyone that i am genderfluid, my pronouns are they/she/he!!! ty, enjoy.

kaeya’s personality seems to go through some sort of shift when you’re on your period, seriously! he’ll go from being a flirty, unserious captain with an eye catching smirk to a kind, gentle, soft spoken man. he will quietly hold you if you’re in pain, and try his best to distract you. will kiss you softly and assure you that it will pass, without ever making you feel like you’re exaggerating. strokes your cheek and does whatever you want to do in order to stay distracted. 

“darling? are you alright? are you sick?”

“no, just cramps.”

“ahh, here.”

“how does this feel? you okay? comfy?”

“yeah, I’m okay. thanks kae”

“not a problem at all, lovely”

“so, how was work? 

diluc is lowkey confused at first in your relationship. he’s never spent much time around anyone who has a period, let alone having to live with one, so it makes sense (a little) that he really doesn’t understand anything that’s happening to you, or what hurts, or why, or how he can help. the first time he finds you curled up in his bedroom in dawn winery he’ll be really confused and awkward, run to adelinde and try to very discreetly ask her what to do (he doesn’t do a good job), but eventually she gets what he means, and tells him to just ask you, which he builds the confidence to do after hyping himself up for like twenty minutes.

“hi”

“hi, 'luc”

“uh… are you okay?”

“ish?”

“uhm… may i talk to you about something?”

“yeah, of course! what’s up?”

“what is… happening to you right now? it’s painful, i know, but how do i help? what do i do? what do you need? how can i make you comfortable? i don’t want you to be in pain.”

“pah, how sweet. come, sit, i’ll explain”

thoma knows exactly what is going on, and when its going on. keeps track of your periods (with your knowledge and consent ofc) just so he knows what days to bring you whatever you may need. he’s a BIG BIG acts of service and gift giving kinda guy, because he’s always in the city, so he always picks things up for you. this happens even more when you’re on your period. of course, sometimes, his estimates of your starting days will be a little bit off, so he might end up randomly doing something and it seems like its out of nowhere, and he tries to play it off like it is too. 

“thoma? what’re you doing home this early?”

“oh, I thought i’d come home and make you soup!”

“make me… soup? that’s a little strange…”

“no it’s not! it's just because i thought you liked it, especially when…y’know”

“hah, your guess was off darling, you’re two days early. still, i appreciate the thought love. let’s eat?”

childe is clueless. extremely clueless. but he’s also super duper sweet, and a very fast learner. he tries his best to understand what’s happening and what to do, but unfortunately he doesn’t really have anyone to ask about it. so he’ll literally read a book, which is rather rare for him but he would literally do anything for you. if you’re feeling really unwell, he will insist on taking the day off work to look after you. he’s extremely attentive and gentle, which is the side of him his “co-workers” don’t get to see. 

“morning baby! how’re you feeling?”

“mmhh,, morning chi. ‘m okay, a bit crampy”

“okay, i’ll stay here then.”

“what? no, you have work. you gotta go!”

“i’ll call in sick, they can live without me for a day”

“chi you can’t do this agai-”

“i’d do anything for you”

zhongli. understands. everything. okay hear me out. zhongli can take any form he wants, so sometimes out of curiosity he would change into another body. he’d get completely, utterly shocked the first time he got a period whilst in this form (it was unexpected.), but learned how to cope with it, because he wanted to be able to fully understand the struggles that some mortals might go through.

he knows exactly what to do when this happens to you, speaks to you calmly and holds you if you get cramps. will brew tea for you, and get the latest herb combinations for pain relief from baizhu. will snuggle up to you, place his hand on your stomach because it’s warm, and hold you close. kisses your neck gently and asks if you need anything, overall just a big sweetie. if you want him to, he’ll go into his half-dragon form, so he can wrap his tail around you. loves you more than anything and will do anything to make you comfortable. you need something? it’s yours, no matter the extremes he has to go to in order to get it. constantly making sure you take your time with everything, and making sure that you don’t overexert yourself.

“my love, i know you’re in pain, please don’t push yourself”

“i know, i know, i just have a little more work to do”

“i trust you, but i’m staying here with you, just in case. have you eaten? are you comfortable? do you need any pain relief?”

[sinthedrinker]

Zhongli x F!Reader

Zhongli awoke in the middle of the night, the lack of weight and warmth beside him in bed having roused him. The moon was high, it's light shining through our bedroom window and softly illuminating my silhouette as I paced around the room. I don't know why the night scares me, nothing bad had ever happened to me at night that didn't also happen during the day, but I could not stay asleep or stay comfortable. Sleep aids made me dizzy and sedated, but as long as I could still move my limbs, I would not sleep. Just pace, or scratch and peel at my skin, or talk to myself. Anything to pass the time until the sun rose and I could finally rest. Zhongli was used to this by now and he rose from the bed, wrapping his arms around me and stilling my anxious movement. 

"My poor darling. How long have you been up?" He asked softly. I placed my hands over his, interlocking our fingers. 

"I can't remember." 

"Will you come back to bed with me?" He asked, very gently guiding me back to our bed. My eyes and limbs felt heavy, my head was swimming, but still I could not relax enough to close my eyes and sleep. My anxiety only seemed to worsen, my stomach swirling restlessly and making me fear I would be sick, my heart beating so fast, my body flooding with adrenaline, ready to run from a nameless threat. Zhongli wrapped himself around me, caging me in his large, strong body. He always seemed to radiate warmth and stability, like laying on a boulder that's been kissed by the sun. 

"You are safe. Nothing fearful or harmful or painful can reach you, everything is right in the world, and you are safe in my arms." He said sternly. I nodded and snuggled up closer to him. 

"I'm sorry I'm like this. I know it must be exhausting for you." I said. The feeling that I am burdensome, annoying and useless wells up inside of me nearly every night and I worry that it will slowly build until it erodes our relationship. Zhongli cupped my cheek, tilting my head to make me meet his eyes. Amber, nearly shining in the moonlight, he always looked at me so sternly and seriously. 

"You are never exhausting. You are my wife, my darling. I want to care for you, and I love you when you are well, and unwell." He said. He kissed me gently, pulling me to his body even closer. It was impossible not to feel safer in his arms, but still I didn’t think I could fall asleep, and he knew he would be unable to sleep as long as I was so restless. 

“Would you like to look at the moon with me?” he asked. I nodded cheerfully and let him help me back out of bed, by this time the servants had all gone to sleep and I didn’t feel nervous about being in just my nightie as Zhongli led me through our dark estate. He hadn't even bothered to put clothes on at all. He led me to our living room where the moon shone through the wide windows and where the glowing lights of Liyue could be seen below. Our home was high enough that no one could see into the windows, but the city with all of its lanterns and street lights sprawled out below us was beautiful at night, especially with the moon glowing above and reflecting in the sea beyond the city. 

While I admired the city Zhongli wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder. 

"Do you feel safer?" He asked quietly. 

"I do. It makes me feel really soothed to see all of Liyue like this, though I'm not sure why." 

"Because this is my city, and now it is yours. There will always be a home for you in Liyue, a place where you can feel safe. Between the cliffs and mountains and the sea you are safe. Here, you are safe." 

I closed my eyes and took Zhongli's hands in mine. His hands were large, strong and warm but his fingers were elegant, dexterous and capable as he entwined them with mine. 

"I'm sleepy.." I said after several long moments of gazing at the moon with him silently. He scooped me up in his arms, cradling me and carrying me back to our bed. 

He laid down and held me to his chest, his grip on me firm and protective. I wriggled free just enough to hold his face in my hands and kiss him. I ran my fingertips over his cheek and jawbones as he worked his lips against mine and slid his tongue into my mouth, brushing his teeth against my bottom lip. He slid one of his hands down my back to my ass, he squeezed and kneaded my flesh before spanking me abruptly. I yelped and felt him smirk against my mouth. 

"Precious thing. You are absolutely delectable, too much so to resist." 

Zhongli rolled on top of me, laying me back on our soft pillows and sheets as he lowered his head to the crook of my neck to kiss and suck bruises already left there from the previous night. It hurt a little, his assault upon already tender flesh, but I was happy to receive both pain and pleasure from him during these times. He ran his hands down my body, squeezing my thighs before bringing his hand between them, circling my clit with his fingertip gently. 

"How do you feel? Not only physically, tell me how you're feeling emotionally. I worry, you know." Zhongli said, though it was hard to focus on his words. 

"Safe.. Being intimate with you, I just feel very safe. I can be vulnerable a-and, I know you'll protect me-" I clenched my teeth as I came, Zhongli continuing to rub my clit and extending my orgasm as long as he could. 

"I.. feel safe as well." He said, holding his cock in one hand and one of my thighs in the other, swirling the tip of his cock around my slick entrance. 

"During the Archon war my only.. encounters were strictly, primal, we'll say. Breeding and nothing more. The experience of intimacy that feels intimate, of.. Making love;" with that he pushed himself into me. 

"This is something I have only experienced with you. Both pleasurable and loving and still filling me with just as much primal desire that clouds my mind and makes me able to think of nothing but filling you.. It feels good. I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel that you are part of me, one with me, and together nothing can harm us." 

He cradled me in his arms and kissed me gently, moaning quietly into my mouth as I clenched my walls around him. I closed my eyes and let myself focus on nothing but this feeling and this moment. No anxiety or nervousness or fear, only Zhongli's warm body, his strong arms, his hot breath against my neck and the pleasant ache of his cock stretching me. 

Zhongli stroked my cheek gently, looking into my eyes as he came, his mouth slightly agape as he shuddered and his hips bucked involuntarily. 

"I love you darling. Are you ready to sleep now?" he asked, smiling as he pulled out of me and laid next to me, holding me to him with his strong chest against my back. 

"Mmmhmm..." I said sleepily, unable to keep my eyes open. 

[ap0stle]

WIP questionnaire tag game

THANK U FOR THE TAG @astramachina

umm the wip in question is TMNTDT aka Tell Me Not to Do This aka teenage mutant ninja turtle...dookie time

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

oough that was back in like... 2016? 2014? and i started with the first chapter right away which ended up being the fourth chapter and then became Nothing At All because i have wrecked this thang beyond recognition <3

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

definitely Burn a Church by Coma Cinema bc it's been in my mock-soundtrack playlist for years and fits the vibes really well :3 the playlist in question is kind of a mess and old as hell but i'll link that too just in case ^_^

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

curtis definitely, i think i get caught up on the details of everyone but he is the most wholly developed and also umm. very similar to me so i love him dearly. he is the worst.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

if you like weird indie movies about young mentally unwell people that may or may not be queer and/or on da spectrum... you will enjoy my garbage and such movies as I Am Not a Serial Killer, As You Are, Super Dark Times, etc. ALSO magnus archives fans maybe bc of the whole Mold Cult thing that is still under development

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

settling on a format was and is still my number one struggle lol. i have switched between a book, comic, videogame, screenplay, website... i have like 50000 drafts scattered across different websites and applications and if this thing ever comes to life i think i will actually fucking ascend

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

ssssssssssort of. there are a lot of dead animals. and fungi. and mold. there have been some minor pet ideas thrown around for the more. Safe Environment characters but for the time being no actual lovable creatures :/ maybe eventually!

How do your characters travel/get around?

Juno's car because mr. dumbass dumped his murder truck into a river ^_^

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

....yes. in all seriousness i have so many different versions in different POVs and tenses it's a toss up as to what i work on and if it will even make it to the next round of editing LOL

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

its not quite explicitly queer (in the latest version) but heavily HEAVILY implied and i feel like the stories that are sort of ambiguous about their queerness tend to draw more people in ?? or they're more popular anyway LOL. so trope: queerbaiting ????

deeply unwell man who has not slept properly in 600 years. the ladies love that shit

^ unreliable narrator ?

religious horror sort of?

bury your gays except. is he actually dead?? .....

What are your hopes for your WIP?

to settle on a fucking medium LMAO. i cannot for the life of me stick to one, or a point of view, OR a tense so um . makin a goddamn decision would probbaly make the writing process like 600 times easier

tagging UM. shaking my brain for writer mutuals ik ive tagged yall before but i cannot think rn so @hammity-hammer @aether-friskets @xxdrowninglessonsxx @deviantartidentitydisorder

anyway if anyone else wants do this just pretend u have been personally tagged ily THANK U AGAIN MITCH ♡♡♡

[nowis-scales]

Flora and Felicia Birthday Headcanons

That’s right. It’s time. Another round. I am unstoppable! Okay, maybe that’s not true, I may run out of things to headcanon one day. But for now, I’m going to keep trying and bring you lots of different things to enjoy! Hopefully you like them!

Flora:

‣ Her rigidity and coolness comes from an attempt to imitate her father and invoke pride within him. Kilma never praised Flora much growing up, and was honestly somewhat cold to her, even though he seemed to have a lot of warmth for Felicia. Given that she would someday be the next leader of their Tribe, she grew convinced that this may have been because he had high expectations for her, so she started trying to imitate him as best she could. This resulted in her trying to emulate his sense of calm and really control her emotions, so while Flora feels a lot of things very deeply, she tends to keep them concealed on the inside to give the appearance of a better leader. Her magic still gives her away sometimes, of course, but she refuses to stop trying. She is desperate to get Kilma’s recognition.

‣ Ferociously independent when she gets sick. Seriously. No one look at her, no one touch her, just leave her alone to be a gremlin in the bed sheets while she tries to recover. For whatever reason, she just really cannot stand to be fussed over while she’s feeling unwell, so she’s going to go out of her way to try and get everything done herself whether you like it or not. Try and help her? Well, she’s not going to be unkind to you, but she is going to annoyedly remind you that she can do this herself, thank you very much, and it’s probably not good for you to be around her when she’s feeling sick anyway. Just leaving her alone to sit in the dark and dropping off the occasional book will probably be most appreciated. She’ll call you if she really needs you.

‣  Has a thing for sharp male love interests. You just know she’d be all over Pride & Prejudice in a modern AU. That’s why she likes Jakob so much. I’ve already established that I feel like Flora is just a huge hopeless romantic, so I think the sort of cold man with a secret heart of gold melts with love is something that she would be all over. Who doesn’t love quality character development and the revelation that someone you thought was one way, is actually even better than you anticipated? It is just her absolute favourite kind of romance.

‣  Has a pretty singing voice. She doesn’t have any direct use for it, really, but she likes to sing from time to time as she’s doing chores. When she was small, she spent a lot of time singing with the other Ice Tribe women as apart of their cultural traditions. Even going to Nohr and joining Corrin’s army, she keeps up with it, singing songs in her native tongue, common, and even sometimes Nohrian if she likes the song enough. If she has kids or a niece/nephew, she would also happily sing lullabies for them every time she puts them to sleep. 

‣ Makes the best rabbit stew you’ll ever taste in your life. Her grandmother taught her the family recipe when she was younger, and she has been perfecting it ever since. Everyone who has been around for a long time will tell you that it’s their favourite meal that she makes, and she’s even had Corrin ask for it for their birthday meal once or twice. She’ll never reveal her secret advanced recipe (except for if she is passing it down to a child of the family), so it cannot be replicated by others, but if you ask she’ll always jokingly tell you that the secret ingredient is “love and the perfect vegetables”.

‣ Forever locked in an argument with Felicia about whether or not mint-flavoured things are good or not. Flora thinks they are bad, but Felicia loves them. A lot of people find it strange that she really doesn’t like the taste of mint, considering it’s cold and she’s from the Ice Tribe, but she is very adamant that that is just not the way it works. Some thing about the taste of mint just really puts her off, and she and Felicia bicker about it all the time. She could probably write you a whole essay on why mint-flavoured things are just not right.

‣ Competent ice skater. She grew up skating on the Ice Tribe’s lake when she was a girl, and always had the best time. Her elegance and grace extend even to this medium, so she is always sure to dazzle the inexperienced. The best part about it, too, is that she’s an eager teacher. So if you tell her that you want to ice skate, she’s happy to hold your hands the whole time and give you pointers. It’s her favourite form of physical activity.

‣  Has a weird relationship with babies and toddlers. Is she kind and civil with them? Of course. It’s hard to be a little person in such a big world. But does she fully understand how to interact with them, and enjoy the fact that they are loud and sticky? Not so much. She’s not sure if it’s just inexperience or what, because she does like children, but there’s something about the very little ones that she doesn’t know how to work with fully. At the very least, she knows that she would dearly love her own kids, no matter the phase of life.

‣ Really good at planning, but also gets pretty upset when things don’t go according to her plan. Flora can have everything planned perfectly, organized thoughtfully and with care. She’s the kind of person you would call if you were having an event and didn’t know where to start, or the girl who would take the lead on the group project and help get everything underway. However, once things stop going according to plan, that’s where her success ends. She starts getting nervous and upset when life throws a wrench in her plans, because now she has to recalibrate and doesn’t always know what to do. Usually, she just needs to have her moment of panic until she can rise to the new challenge, but it is never a fun experience.

‣ The epitome of “um excuse me, but they didn’t want pickles on that” meme. Not just for Felicia. For literally anybody who needs it. The big sister instincts are strong in this one. Standing up for the people who need her is just something that is basically a reflex for her, and while she might bite her tongue around royalty and those who could inflict serious harm, she’s otherwise going to be fairly outspoken about what is and isn’t fair. That’s kind of just the way she’s built!

Felicia:

‣ To some people’s surprise, she’s actually a pretty big morning person. Even if she oversleeps sometimes and freaks herself right out over missing her duties, if she can get up on time, she’s pretty happy going about her day. She loves washing up, preparing her hair and her clothes, making breakfast and getting ready for the day. Sometimes she even gets up early just to watch the sunrise because of how much she loves to see it. Something about waking up bright and early just makes her feel really cheerful!

‣ Super big on physical affection and extraordinarily cuddly. Definitely as a physical affection love language. She’s not the type to overstep boundaries, so she has to be comfortable with you before she starts expressing it, but as soon as she’s ready… well, you probably will be too. Whether it’s hanging onto her partner’s arms or hugging a fellow soldier when they’re down, Felicia has all kinds of physical affection to go around. Just ask and you probably will receive. If she likes you enough, she might even greet you by hugging you from behind.

‣ While Flora is ferociously independent when she gets sick, Felicia is a whiny little baby who needs to be fussed over. Don’t get me wrong, she can still do some things for herself, but she generally doesn’t want to and will call others for help. She will want to be tucked into bed, receive regular meals or snacks and water, entertainment through books or conversation or other activities, and have help getting to the bath and brushing the tangles out of her hair. If you’re her partner, then the requests are even higher. Can you please cuddle her until she feels better? And if you’re checking her temperature, could it be with a forehead kiss please? Oh, and can you stroke her hair until she falls asleep, pretty please with sugar on top? She’s never sharp and demanding, but there’s so much innocent pleading and softness that even the strongest of wills have bent to her before. Jakob still rants about some of the trashy romantic novels she asked him to read to her while she had the flu one time.

‣ One of her biggest sources of guilt is that she can no longer speak the language of the Ice Tribe. She can understand it, but she cannot speak it. Flora doesn’t have the same problem, as she wrote a journal in their language to keep up with it, but the Fortress staff were intimidating for awhile. King Garon did not want them organizing escape plans or uprisings using their native tongue, which the other staff did not understand, so the girls were forbidden from speaking it. Flora only got as far as she did by going behind people’s backs and help with concealment from Gunter. Felicia, on the other hand, followed the rules pretty rigidly and now feels extremely out of touch with her people. It’s a source of great shame for her, and something she cries about from time to time.

‣  As we all know, Felicia is a very poor cook. However, there are two things she can make — her special Angel’s Cookie, and sandwiches. It seems a bit odd for her to only be good at two things, but the truth of it is that she’s good at those two things because she practiced like crazy to become good at those two things. Sandwiches seemed simple enough that she couldn’t possibly make a mess of them, and cookies were something she had spent a lot of time watching Flora and Jakob make, so when she would do her secret practicing at the Northern Fortress, those were the two things she would make to try and see if she could do a good job. And, since she’s generally unable to tell herself whether her cooking is good or bad, all of her food was tasted by an eager Lilith. It took a lot of tries to get it right, but she finally managed to do it, and she tries to take it as a symbol of encouragement that she can get better at things that are hard for her. She even still brings the treats to Lilith sometimes as thanks.

‣  Writes down every compliment people give her for personal note. She gets quite bashful when she’s complimented because it really doesn’t happen all that much, so she tries to take a moment to note down what was said and who said it. It helps her cheer herself up when she’s upset, because even if she makes a lot of mistakes, Corrin thinks she’s “an amazing friend” and Princess Elise told her she “has the prettiest hair”, so at least she has something going for her!

‣ When not in her maid’s uniform, Felicia actually has a really feminine sense of personal style. She loves skirts and dresses covered in lace, ribbons, and frills. Long socks and cute tights are a favourite piece of attire, and she tries to keep elegant shoes on hand whenever she can. Playing around with different hairstyles is something she loves to do most, especially because she’s actually really good at different types of braids. She’ll even do a bit of light make-up from time to time just to try something different. If she were to ever have a daughter who shares an affection for the style, then she would be decked out in the cutest outfits that you have ever seen in your life.

‣  Likes most food and will usually eat anything you don’t want. As I mentioned from her cooking headcanon, she can’t really taste for herself when something’s bad, so she is often the person people turn to if they don’t like their food. If Jakob isn’t around to eat Corrin’s mushrooms, she’ll eat them. If Flora gets something she doesn’t want, she’ll usually take it off her plate. There’s only so much food she can take, of course, being a petite girl, but she’s willing to help if you don’t want something. It also makes her very agreeable for dinner plans, because you can often pick what you want, and she’ll go “oh, I love that!”

‣ The reason why she can handle battle better than she can regular chores is because there are more many more steps and details for her to remember when she is doing those regular tasks. In battle, her survival instincts tend to kick in, and her focus sharpens, so her scatterbrained tendencies don’t get the best of her quite the same. She’s got three goals she needs to focus on: (1) Protect herself, (2) Protect her loved ones, and (3) Dispose of the enemy. In her regular life she has so much more she feels she must consider to be perfect, but in battle it all seems to just melt away. 

‣ Has a weird relationship to being good in battle, actually. Of course she’s proud of it in some capacity, given that it’s the one thing she’s good at and that the people she cares about are impressed by it, but she’s not crazy about having to hurt others. Like Corrin, she wants to avoid actually killing people where she can and tends to try and incapacitate or injure to the point of being unable to fight, but it’s not always a goal she can achieve. She tries not to think about any of the people she has eliminated over time, and if she does, she often prays to the gods for them to have better lives wherever they have gone next, as well as for their forgiveness.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

First of all seriously congrats on getting out of the spiral i understand how flabbergastingly difficult that is.

….that being said.. with as much the love and support I can share….

Please please please please next step- stop checking LI like that at all. Or like at all but ideal worlds etcetc It is not a safe place for anyone social interactions and active use can be a deterrent to potential employers as it shows mental instability and a dependency on social media etc etc businessbullshit

Take care you yourself please pretty please with a cherry and fun shaped sprinkles on top

You. Deserve. To. Rest. God. Damn. It.

Write it down in a notebook or notes app I know it’s hard to find the right Thing just please hang in there No more LI

I know I don’t know your situation you might need to be job hunting everyday to pay for medical bills or for whatever you may need -

just please be careful

And try to be kind to yourself please

hey hey! thanks for the support. I barely ever post on linkedin, only once or twice. I never share posts from other people either on there, either. I will occasionally like posts on there though.

I only had to make a linkedin account years ago in uni, bc the careers department basically bullies you to make one, to con you into thinking that that's the only way you'll be HEADHUNTED OMG!!!!.

but that's literally never happened to me.... and all I actually get on there is marketing emails for LI premium and learning (which is like $90 or something a month here in australia so I've never paid the sub) and scam courses from usually americans about resume writing etc but they want you to cough up $5,000 australian to do them.

I've always been super wary about linkedin in general, anyway. which is why I've barely ever posted on there, except for my uni graduation and when i started at my job last year. making my account for it back in 2016 during uni caused me to have an anxiety attack lmao. it's also why I'm happy I'm not checking it as often as well.

I had a year of rest in 2021 to heal from my surgery.... even though everyone was pushing me to "hurry up and get a job and move out and be an adult NOW!!!" including my surgeon. like guys. I just had some of the most traumatic 3 months of my life in my mid-20s. why the fuck would I want to be instantly back in the workforce????? holy fuck.

and plus, it did hit me while healing back then, a few times, how unwell and fragile I really was. because I bent down in woollies or coles (grocery stores here in aus) and couldn't get off the floor without grabbing onto something to balance myself. and that's when I started listening to the physios more in rehab hospital rather than my surgeon and everyone else, about taking it slow and healing... instead of trying to instantly jump back into casual or part time work in retail at the time; or even office work (since I learnt last year that stationary orders are, in fact, quite heavy when it's just boxes filled with packets and packets of paper; and other general office shit).

as for the medical bills, I don't have any to pay off since my surgery was completely covered by medicare. all I'm trying to avoid now in job hunting, is australia's incredibly punitive employment jobseeker income supplement payment requirements of meeting with a job provider each fortnight; and having to apply for 20 jobs a month or they'll take your payment off of you.... which is incredibly unhelpful when I need to pay my car loan and car insurance. although I'm pretty sure that's been updated but I can't remember how it's changed..... because I didn't need to worry about it last year whilst I was in my cadetship job since it was full time.

but yeah I just need to use LI as a way to look for jobs and maybe very occasionally interact with my old colleagues at my cadetship job (which I just left on the 23rd of march). but I am trying to interact with it less.

[creaturebehavior]

damn. life hurts. i think i’ve been having a really hard time.

i feel like i will never get out of this hole because the world wasn’t designed for me. i get burnt out every time i try to do what everybody else is doing

all i want is to run away. i have no income and nowhere to run.

i wish i at least had money for drugs.

i can’t believe i’m alive. i don’t want to do this anymore. i can’t wake up to this anymore.

i wish i at least could afford to use drugs. i can’t believe how suicidal i feel today. i haven’t felt this way in a really long time.

i wish i could be more normal. all i want is to work a little job and to make enough to get my needs met but i can’t even hold a conversation with a human or barely leave my house

I feel trapped. and i know if i try to kill myself again i’ll just end up not getting the help i need like every other time and for some reason i can never fucking die like i just won’t die i always live no matter how many overdoses or seizures are car crashes or the whole town burning down while i’m driving through it in my car but for some cruel reason i just won’t die.

i have to find another way. i’m honestly kind of afraid to die but i’m also so afraid to keep on living. i think if i were to seriously attempt suicide again, i would try carbon monoxide poisoning in my car in the garage but i’m just afraid i would have too much time to change my mind. i always think a lot about hanging myself so that i can’t change my mind but i can’t find anywhere in my house to hang myself from.

idek. i’ve been having a really bizarre week, mentally. i lot of flashbacks. a lot of dreams. a lot of recent fumbled social interactions m, reinforcing my fear of interacting with people. a lot of awareness around my behavior, past and present and how toxic of a person i’ve always been. i don’t know how to heal from this or change. i’m in so much pain all the time i’m such a selfish person, i’m just like my dad, my whole life is about how much pain i’m in and making it every im else’s problem. This is the reason why i avoid people and isolate myself from everyone, because i don’t know how to behave. i don’t know how to not act out. i don’t know how to regulate my emotions. i don’t know how to filter my thoughts. even if it’s accidental, i am rude. i feel feral. i feel completely detached from the song and dance everyone does with each other. i have such low empathy. i find it hard to care about anybody. i’m so burnt out, i find it hard to continue to politely pretend i care about anybody.

i’m clearly very unwell. at least i’m aware of it now, right? i just can’t fathom how i’m gonna get better. i’m exhausted. i don’t know how to try to care i don’t know how to be better. i cut myself off from the world. i try so hard in my little interactions when i run my necessary errands and i try to be nice but i still am accidentally rude and i come off very strangely. whenever i’m stone cold sober i appear to be on drugs because i’m so out of touch with reality and i’m so mentally fucked in the head. don’t know what it is. severe dissociation and anxiety i guess. I have been having to confront my internalized ableism as i haven’t been this sick in awhile, and the older i get the slightly more self aware i’m becoming. I realize how visibly ill i am. and it’s been difficult to bring that around other people because i feel so much shame being as.. out of whack… as i am. i wish i could hold it in but i just can’t mask anymore. i got so burnt out and i’m so sick.

ugh. i don’t know how i’m gonna get past this. i know something obviously needs to change. clearly i need some kind of help but i’m scared to get vulnerable with more mental health professionals. i’ve had some bad experiences in recent history that really messed up my relationship with therapy and treatment. i’ve developed trust issues that i know i’m going to have to get over but they are very real. my last therapist made me feel worse at every session but i kept seeing her because i was convinced it was a me problem, because i have a really difficult time opening up to people already. we didn’t click but i saw her for like two years because i thought i just needed to warm up to her because i already have trouble trusting anybody. and now i’m all screwed up cuz we had so many bad sessions i can barley remember what it’s like to have a good therapy session and when i reflect on all the years i’ve been in therapy and i’ve only really connected with one therapist out of idek what feels like countless therapists i’ve tried. It’s so hard to find someone i feel i can be open with.

idek. i feel stuck

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝐵𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Warning: Just one brief mention of kidnapping and being held hostage. Other than that, it's safe to proceed.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

It felt like an eternity before someone opened the door and walked in.

Hongjoong took one look at you before widening his eyes. He looked back at one of men behind him and sighed.

"You had one job Hangyul and you couldn't even do it right?! This isn't the right person!"

Said Hangyul bowed his head and apologized profusely.

Hongjoong rubbed his temples in annoyance. He looked back at you and examined you closely. Even with your puffy hair, tear strained cheeks and messy hair, he thought you looked beautiful. The longer he looked at you, the more some weird feeling in his chest started to grow.

"What's your name?" He asked you.

You struggled to find your voice, but managed to utter out your name in a soft whisper.

It was almost like music to his ears.

"Well Y/N.....it seems we accidentally mistook you for someone else.....Ooops."

He really didn't know what to say to you. He felt bad that you were now standing before him, scared, trembling and no doubt hurt. Part of him told him to release you from your restraints, and hold you tenderly. Then one of his men reminded him:

"Hongjoong sir? Since we can't release a witness for security reasons, do you want us to get rid of her?"

Your head snapped up at the comment and you began desperately trying to break free.

"No please don't! I'm begging you! Have some mercy on me! Let me go and I swear I won't say anything to anybody!"

Hongjoong hesitated for a brief moment until your crying got louder and you said:

"I have a son! He's only 3 years old! I'm the only one he has! So please......." You begged, all the little strength you had left in your body began to slowly drain as you realized you might never see your son again.

That's all it took for Hongjoong to break.

"Release her."

The men looked shocked. "But sir-"

"I said release her. Now!" He commanded.

Instantly, all the ropes were cut and you were free. You tried to stand up, but you were so shaken up your legs gave out. Luckily, Hongjoong caught you in his arms and carried you away from there.

"I'm really sorry about this."

He ordered for his car and personally saw that you made it home safely. Even days afterwards, he still kept an eye on you and your son, whom he couldn't help but find adorable.

You noticed that someone was watching you when you suddenly started to receive strange packages that sometimes contained groceries, clothes or even toys. You wondered who could be sending these things.

Your question was answered when you took your son to the park. Hongjoong tried his best to stay hidden but you quickly found him. He stood there looking awkwardly at you.

"It was you wasn't it?" You asked him.

"Yeah....." He replied shyly. Seriously, he was one of the top mafia bosses. Why was a single mom like you making him nervous like a schoolboy?

"Mommy!" Your son ran up to you.

You picked him up and your son just stared at Hongjoong. He leaned into your ear and asked you who he was.

You smiled at him. "Oh him? He's just an old friend."

Your son looked back at Hongjoong, somewhat afraid of him. But Hongjoong just gave him the warmest smile he could.

"Hey there little buddy. You don't have to be scared of me."

Hongjoong knew it would take time, but he also knew that in the end, he'd be part of your life and of your son's.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪 ﾟ･:*✿

You don't know whether you were grateful or you regretted ever accepting to work at the bar Seonghwa owned. You couldn't complain about the pay, it was more than good and although you knew Seonghwa was sketchy af, you never felt unsafe as he always made sure you were protected and no one harassed you.

However you knew Seonghwa had the hots for you, everyone knew it actually. At first, they thought he just wanted to get in your pants, that's what he usually did with any hot female that worked for him. But time passed and everyone now knew that he was head over heels for you. Boy was like a love sick puppy for you. It was quite entertaining to watch actually.

No one resented you for it or even tried to bother you. You were constantly turning him down and keeping a strictly professional relationship with your boss. If he offered you any gifts, you rejected them. If he offered the schedule everyone fought for, you turned it down and accepted the shittiest shift. Seonghwa never gave up though. He wanted you and he'd get you no matter what.

"You've gone soft." His best friend, Hongjoong told him one day.

"No I haven't." Seonghwa refuted that statement.

Right then, the phone rang. Hongjoong picked it up.

"Hello? Oh hi...... Oh really? Ok. I'll let him know. Don't worry. Hope you feel better. Bye."

Hongjoong hung up and continued his task of polishing his gun.

"Well?" Seonghwa asked rather annoyed.

"Oh it's nothing. Just Y/N calling in sick. She won't be coming." Hongjoong stated as if it was the most normal of in the world.

Seonghwa, however, was panicking.

"Y/N?! Sick?! What do you mean sick?! She's never sick! She never calls in! What if something happened to her?! I need to see her!"

Grabbing his jacket, he ran out the room, leaving Hongjoong dumbfounded.

"Ok. But you're not soft huh?"

Seonghwa sped over to your house, bag full of medicines and other things he deemed necessary in his arms. He frantically knocked on what he hoped really was your door, he had never been to your house.

"What?!" You shouted when you swung the door open.

"I came cause Hongjoong said- Wait! You look fine." Seonghwa noticed you didn't look unwell as he scanned your body.

"If this is another stupid attempt to hit on me, I will slam my door on your hand. I don't care if one of your men end up cutting off one of my fingers." You warned him.

"You said you were sick!" Seonghwa exclaimed.

"No. I called in a sick leave because-"

You were interrupted by a soft 'Mommy' from behind you. You turned to see your 2 year old daughter standing there, blanket wrapped around her tiny and frail body.

"Sweetie. I told you not to get out of bed. Your cold will get worse."

You completely forgot about Seonghwa and proceeded to attend your daughter, who was the reason why you called in sick. Seonghwa was shocked at finding out you had a kid. But it wasn't a bad surprise. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He didn't even realize that he ended up walking into your apartment and watched as you tucked your daughter in the couch, helping her blow her nose.

If people thought he was whipped before, now he was fucking wrapped around your finger. He adored kids, and this revelation just made you even more perfect in his eyes. Now he was more than determined to make you his.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

With Yunho, you actually didn't take long to start dating. He was so caring and attentive to you. You remember when you told him on a date that you had a child. You felt it was necessary to let him know before your relationship got more serious.

"A kid?" He repeated.

"Yes..... I have a son..." Your voice trailed off.

Your head already started imagining the worst and most common scenario: he'd be all sweet but say he's not ready for that responsibility and dump you like all the others. It happened every single time. It didn't turn out to be the case though.

"Really? How old is he? Do you have a picture? When can I meet him? Does he know about me?"

Yunho was ecstatic to find this out and he was very interested in anything that had to do with you. Besides........ you weren't the only one keeping secrets. He hadn't exactly told you what his job really was. Just like you, he was afraid of you leaving him when you found out his connections to the criminal world. Which is why he kept it hidden for a long time.

But he did tell you one day. He came clean about it.

"I know I should have told you earlier, especially now that I'm a part of your and your son's life.... but I was scared...... I love you but I understand if you'd rather not see me anymore."

Maybe you were crazy, maybe you were too much in love, but you assured him you wouldn't leave him. You only voiced concern about your son's safety. You didn't want anything to happen to him.

"I swear on my life, nothing will ever happen to him or to you. I promise to keep you both safe."

It was a promise he always kept. He became a constant in your life, and he was always making sure to spend time with your son, spoiling him to no end. You remember when he threw a birthday party for him at his mansion. It was small and not a lot of people could come because he couldn't risk having strangers over, but you all had a great time.

That's where you met his other friends, who were very curious to meet the woman and the kid who made Yunho into a hyperactive puppy.

"I'm serious, I've never in my life seen him be like this." Mingi pointed out as they watched Yunho play with your son.

"Really? Since I met him, he's always been like that." You were surprised to find out from his friends what he used to be like.

"Then you must really be a special lady. Congratulations. You turned a criminal into a total dad."

You blushed at Seonghwa's comment.

"He's not a dad...." You cleared your throat.

Seonghwa turned to you and smirked.

"Not yet.....but trust me. Very soon it might be official."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

Yeosang and you didn't have the greatest of start in the relationship. Both of your parents were mafia bosses and so you were both forced into a contractual marriage that neither of you wanted.

"Look. How about we just carry on our lives as if nothing happened?" You suggested.

"Agreed." Yeosang nodded.

Years passed and eventually Yeosang took over the family business, working alongside your brother Wooyoung, who took over for your father. Because Yeosang spent so much time with your brother, you ended up spending so much time togethers.

Soon you both stopped avoiding each other company and actually became close friends. Or you thought you would just be friends, until one day Yeosang couldn't help himself and just kissed you.

"What was that for?" You try not to look too happy about it though.

"What? Is it a crime for me to kiss my wife?" He winked at you.

Gradually, you fell in love and completely forgot that this was a contractual marriage. It became a real marriage for you both. Yeosang doted on you and was such a devoted husband. And he was so ecstatic when he found himself you were pregnant with your first child. He immediately made preparations and began decorating one of the rooms, choosing gender neutral colors like green and yellow.

He was over the moon when you gave birth. He cried so much when he held your precious bundle of joy in his arms for the first time. He was so overwhelmed with emotions. Leaning down, he kisses your forehead tenderly. He was so grateful to have you and your daughter.

You two became his whole world, and his friends teased him to no end about it. After all, how did the cold mafia Prince turned into such a warm family man?

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷 ﾟ･:*✿

Your relationship with San was very blissful and passionate. It definitely started with a lot of passion. You two met at a club and randomly hooked up. You thought he'd be just a one night stand, not that you cared. You weren't particularly looking for a relationship. But he was hooked on you and so he sought you out, properly asking you out on a date.

You quickly found out that he wasn't just the kinky lover in the sheets. He was a total cutie and a cuddle bug. That ended up sealing the deal for you and you completely fell in love with him.

Things definitely moved fast in the relationship. 4 months in and he asked you to move in with him. You thought it was strange, but were so in love with him that you agreed. You didn't know it was because he wanted to make sure you were safe in case any rivals tried to hurt you. And he made sure not to let you find out what and who he really was.

After a year, you two welcomed a baby boy into your lives. You spent the first months like all new parents: full of happiness and joy over your new baby. San was already making plans for his boy, imagining him taking taekwondo just like he did and excelling at all things that had physical involvement. Everything seemed to be going fine......

Until one day you found out who he really was. Your heart shattered at this new piece of information.

Had he lied to me? Is all of this a lie?

One thing was for sure, you panicked when you thought about your son and his safety. Without thinking, you began packing a suitcase, taking only the necessary things for him and you. You didn't know where you'd go, but your mind told you to leave.

"Baby? What-what are you doing?"

You turned to see San standing at the door, confused as to why you were packing.

"I know. I know everything."

His heart dropped at your words. So you finally found out. It clicked to him what you were up to.

"And so you're leaving me?" He couldn't believe it.

"I have to! How could I stay with you knowing our son could be in danger because of you?!"

San marched up to you and pulled you against him, holding onto you for dear life.

"Baby please listen to me! I lied to you, I know and I'm sorry! But I honestly do love you, I love you and our son so much, you two are my everything! You can't leave me! Please don't walk away from me and don't take him away from me! I'm sorry! But I promise I'll take care of you both."

He sanked down to his knees and held you by your waist, his tears staining your shirt. When it came to you and your son, he was no longer the strong confident mafia boss. You were his ultimate weakness.

"Please don't go..... please say you still love me...."

Your heart clenched. Even though finding this out tore you apart, you still loved him. You'd never stop loving him.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲 ﾟ･:*✿

At the beginning, you didn't want to be with him. You knew who he was and what he was capable of. You were practically forced to date him, scared shitless thinking about what he'd do to you if you refused him. He really did try to show you that he wasn't the ruthless and violent mafia boss the media played him out to be.

"Why do you look so uncomfortable? Don't you like the food?" He asked you.

"The food is great, it's just you know, not every girl wants to have a dozen men in suits standing around with guns in their pockets while on a first date." There was a hint of bitterness and sarcasm in your tone.

Mingi pouted. "It's for protection purposes."

If someone had told you the most feared mafia boss in all of Seoul was actually a clumsy, soft baby, you would never have believed them. But indeed, that's the side of Mingi you ended up uncovering. Sure it still terrified you when his rage was released, but never was it directed to you.

Finally after years of asking and asking, you accepted his marriage proposal and he was the happiest man alive. No happiness could compare. That's what he thought until the day you gifted him with a precious angel. She instantly became daddy's girl and nothing could change that. It was quite funny actually.

Like one time when he was having a meeting with his other mafia friends. Things got very heated and Mingi was about to blow up. Until a tiny head peeked in.

"Daddy!" Your daughter ran over to him, while you failed to try and catch her.

Mingi completely forgot what they were talking about and he picked her up.

"Hi princess! How are you? Did you miss your daddy?" He cooed at her.

Snickers were heard from his friends.

"Who would have thought?" "The Song Mingi has been tamed" "And by a child nonetheless"

Mingi threw a glare over at his friends.

"I can still order your heads on a platter you know." He threatened them.

"Mingi." You warned him, gesturing to your daughter.

"Sorry." He mouthed, remembering not to say such things in front of your daughter.

That's when his friends totally lost it.

"I told you San! Y/N is the one who really wears the pants in the relationship."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰ﾟ･:*✿

Were you furious that your father practically sold you into a marriage with his mafia friend's son? Yes. Was Wooyoung pissed off at having a wife thrown at him? Nope, not at all. He fell in love with you at first sight.

"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!" He was practically beaming with joy.

"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first." You responded.

Wooyoung actually laughed at that, but you were serious. What if one day his mafia ass gets tired of you and he just decides to put a bullet in your head? You secretly hoped he did that before you were bound to him for life.

But 5 years later and you're still married. He's just as much in love with you as the first day he met you. You learned to love him, or as you often said to tease him: you learned to put up with him.

"Deny it all you want, but I know you love me just as much as I love you."

When he found out you were pregnant, he became even more clingy with you. Always making sure you were ok, going to everyone of the doctor's appointments, and constantly talking to your growing baby bump. The baby wasn't due for another 4 months and he was already wrapped around their finger.

"I can eat by myself Wooyoung." You reminded him as you tried to take the bowl from him.

"Let me baby you, ok!? I want my queen to be treated like one and I want to make sure my little princess will be ok." He stated.

You chuckled at how he kept insisting it was a girl.

"What if it turns out to be a boy?" You cocked your head to the side.

"It's a girl! She will be a precious bundle of pink glittery joy that I will love and cherish for as long as I live!" He really wanted a girl.

You rolled your eyes every time and you were desperately hoping that the ultrasound you were scheduled to get would reveal it was a boy. You really wanted to wipe the grin off his face. That and you wanted a mommy's boy yourself.

"So tell us doctor. It's definitely a girl right?" Wooyoung asked as he held your hand tightly.

"Actually......you're carrying a very healthy baby boy. Congratulations."

Wooyoung's hand dropped yours and he stood there stunned. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. For goodness sakes, he had already had the nursery painted pink.

"Ok, now that you've been proven wrong, hand me that catalog. I'm deciding how we're decorating my son's nursery." You told him when you got back home.

"Uh.... it's our son! If I remember correctly, it takes 2 to make a baby. And please no sport related decorations! Get something more original! Ooh! I saw some really cute marine animals design that..."

You just smirked at him as he turned the pages of the magazine. He was still whipped.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

When you applied for the secretary job, you didn't think anything was sketchy about it. But you were wrong and instantly you were dragged into Jongho's mafia world. And you knew that now there was no way out. You knew too much and the only way you would ever walk out of there would be in a coffin.

That's what you thought, but honestly, Jongho liked you so much that if you wanted to, he'd dismiss you if you wanted it. But he didn't want you to go. He was too hooked on you to let you go. He liked how different you were from other women. You were so mature, and he liked your 'I don't give a fuck' attitude you exuded at times. He also loved to play around with you, even if he was the one doing most of the pulling while you were doing a lot of pushing.

"Sooner or later you will be mine doll." He often told you.

"Go find some other girl to play around with Jongho. I'm a little too old to be anyone's toy." You always responded with things that if it were anyone else, it'd get their head blown off.

You tried to keep your personal life as secret as possible from him. Your deepest fear was of Jongho finding out about your daughter, your only joy in life. You were afraid he'd use her against you........... that's what you tried to tell yourself. But really, you were afraid that if he found out, he'd lose interest in you. You couldn't deny he was attractive. But what kind of man would involve himself with a woman that already had a kid? Especially someone as young and powerful like Jongho?

But one day, you had no choice but to bring her along to work with you, since no babysitter was available. You thought you'd be all right. Jongho wasn't supposed to be there and you only had to pick up some papers. Luck wasn't on your side that day though. While you were rummaging around your desk, the devil himself walked into the office.

"Ah Y/N. Good thing I caught you. I need you to see if I got- who and what is that?"

He immediately pointed at your daughter, who was currently holding onto your leg, her other hand holding her bunny plushie. The color drained from your face, but you took a deep breath and gathered your courage.

"Jongho, this is my daughter, [insert name here]. Sweetheart, this is Jongho. He's the man I work for." You smiled down at her.

You didn't even want to look back at Jongho, afraid to see his expression. You were startled though when he came closer to you and bent down so he was eye level with your daughter.

"Hi there princess. What you got there? Do you like bunnies?"

Your daughter took an instant liking to him as she began explaining in her 2 year old language who her plushie was. And Jongho only played along, completely enchanted by such a cute and innocent baby.

"Ok that's enough sweetheart. I'm sure Jongho has some other things to attend to and we have to go."

Picking her up, you bid goodbye to Jongho, who held the door open for you. He grabbed your free arm though and whispered in your ear before you left:

"If you think this changes anything doll, you're completely wrong. I still want you and I still stand my ground that you'll be mine......."

He pulled back and smiled at you.

"Your daughter is very charming as well. You should bring her over more often."

He winked at you as you made your way out.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[stopbeingrude]

Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Seven: Never Ask Friends for Help

Chapter Summary: As San expected, he caught a cold after your little prance through the storm in Hallim Park the previous day. Luckily, you're fine, which gives you the wonderful opportunity to look after him and the even more wonderful opportunity to let your chaotic nature shine.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, (this chapter is pure fluff and crack) Word count: 3.2k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter Six For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

Silence filled your room when you woke up the next morning. It was strange, since San had said he would be waking you up, and there you were, still lying in bed by the time noon rolled around.

It wasn’t as if you were waiting for him to come and get you, but you just wanted to take advantage of the time in such a warm blanket. Yeosang often joked about how you became a cold-blooded reptile whenever you felt sleepy, body temperature dropping and your tongue sharp like that of a snake.

Basically, it was his long-winded way of calling you a cranky, heat-stealing bitch.

Not that you minded at all, since Yeosang was a cranky bitch himself when sleepy.

But then half an hour passed, and there was still no sign of San. Throwing the blanket off your form, you slipped on a pair of slippers and got ready for the day, finding him becoming the very next thing on your agenda.

And the state you found him in was certainly laughable--to you anyway.

“Did you seriously get sick after a little storm?” you chuckled, eyes taking in San wrapped in the covers as if he was a baby, sniffling every few seconds.

“Oh, shut it,” he glared at you, speaking with a nasally voice.

You took a step into his room, one looking fairly similar to yours, with little pictures or much personalisation in general. Must not have stayed here often then, or had many memories he wanted to keep.

That thought... it made you feel a little sad.

Once you reached the edge of his bed, you sat down beside him, noticing just how sickly-looking he was. Skin paler, hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat, flush cheeks and nose, uneven breathing, soft whimpering.

Your smile faded slightly. “How long have you been like this?”

“Since last night,” he coughed, brushing away your hand as you reached out to check his temperature. “Don’t touch me, I don’t want you to catch whatever this is.”

Clicked your tongue at his response and did so anyway. “Holy shit, you’re burning up. More than you should be. Has anyone seen to you yet?” Instantly, you brushed the hair from his eyes, simultaneously wiping away the sweat. Was pretty gross, but you didn’t mind at all.

San relaxed under your gentle touch, finding it cool and soothing against his muddled senses. “N-No. I texted Hongjoong to tell everyone to leave me alone. Clearly didn’t do a good enough job if you’re here.”

Lightly hitting his chest over the blanket, you scoffed. “You’re happy I’m here, don’t lie.”

Grinning, he sighed. “Can’t hide anything from you, now can I, Hun?”

“Nope,” you huffed as you got up. “Now, I’m going to prepare something for you to eat since you probably haven’t had anything since yesterday.” On cue, his stomach grumbled painfully loudly, making the man visibly cringe as he was about to decline your offer so you would stay with him for a little bit longer. “Looks like Mister Tummy’s already answered for you.”

“Mister Tummy doesn’t know shit.”

“Mister Tummy knows more shit than you do. In fact, it processes all of your shit for you.”

“Gross.”

“I know. Mister Tummy’s gross. But full of wisdom.”

“You know what, just go. Leave me be for a bit.”

Evil chuckling reached his ears. “Now that you’ve said it, I’ll just be here to annoy you as much as I can. But before we do that, keep yourself bundled up and make sure you’re sweating buckets. It’s the most effective way to break a nasty fever like that.” You began wrapping him up in the thick blanket like he was a burrito.

With that, you left for the kitchen, calling Seonghwa’s number. As the ringing continued, you looked around, noticing how there were few guards and servants around the place. Not even Wooyoung, Jongho, or Hongjoong could be seen in your trek to make food.

“What do you want, troll?”

“You’ve got to stop calling me that. Whatever happened to ‘hello’? Too mainstream for you?”

“...Hello, troll. What do you want?”

Narrowing your eyes ahead of you, smirk pressing against your lips, you tried to look around for the chef. Not there either. “Much better. Now, can you give me a recipe for that soup with ‘magical healing properties’ you used to give me?”

“Bone broth?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m on adventure to nurse a sociopathic cuddle-demon back to health, now are you going to give me the recipe or am I going to get Yunho to drag it out of you? Because I know very well that he will.”

Seonghwa’s sigh was loud enough to be audible through the phone.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Just text me the recipe, thank you, love you, byeeeeee.” Immediately ended the call, looking in all the cupboards, the pantry, the fridge, and the freezer. This place was stocked to the brim.

Shortly after, your phone began buzzing, Seonghwa requesting to video call you. Swiping the green button, you were met with a (slightly laggy) picture of Seonghwa’s chin, hearing him yell off screen. “--UNHO. MINGI. I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU BETTER PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP BOTH YOUR ASSES.”

You could make out the response, “Hehe, kinky.” Most likely Mingi from the very nature of the comment.

“What do you want, troll?” you echoed his words back to him, catching his attention--the other boys most likely long gone into the depth of the house.

“Well, well, well, how the tables have turned,” he smirked, moving the camera so you could see him better.

“It’s ‘how the turntables’.”

He looked at you with an unimpressed expression, not pleased with your Office reference, and carried on to ignore it. “So there is no way in hell I’m sending you the recipe through text, since people can easily hack that--”

“And by people, you mean--”

“Yeosang, yes, who else? Little rat bastard keeps trying to steal my recipes.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

“As if he hasn’t heard it already about a million times.”

You chuckled in response, knowing how true it was. “Fair enough. Now spill your secrets and bless me with the ability to cook.”

One word to describe the last hour of your life would be... Well, you couldn’t really think of a word. It was purely of Seonghwa screaming over the phone and you screaming back. And panicking. Both of you definitely panicked.

But all in all, the bone broth was made and tasted fairly decent--a worry you had after fucking up so many times in making a simple recipe.

With a pale and dreary look upon his face, Seonghwa looked at you through the phone, narrowing his eyes on you pouring some of the hot mixture in to a bowl. “You’re actually gonna feed him that? Sure you’re trying to nurse him, or was this a master plan to kill him after that ordeal? Because if it’s the latter, then there were much easier ways of doing so.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, whispering prayers in your head that it would actually help San’s fever. “And goodbye.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Is that it? You’re gonna use me and then lea--”

You hand pulled away from the phone screen, after having pressed the red button. Chuckled to yourself with your comedic timing, completely forgetting the earful you’d get of the elder the next time you call him.

Gathering a tray, you placed the bowl of bone broth on top of it, as well as a packet of painkillers, a glass of water, and some turmeric tea; why San has it, you have no idea, since he seems to be a hot coffee-kind of person.

Would’ve added a flower, because you felt like being extra, but that would seem more like a romantic thing than a... well, whatever the hell you two were right now.

This situation wasn’t exactly common enough for it to be given a name.

Wafting away the thought, you grabbed the tray and walked quickly to the mobster’s bedroom. Didn’t need to worry about any spillage since you’ve had years of practice being quick and precise with movement.

Holding one hand beneath the tray (feeling a little heavy, but again, you’ve had practice), you used the other to open the door, finding San still swaddled in his blanket, sweating like a pig.

“Y/N...” he whimpered, an eye opening at the sound of you entering. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state was different to how he usually was--and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

“I’m right here, San,” you replied in a soft tone, brushing back his hair once more as soon as you placed the tray on the bedside-table beside you. “Brought you some food too. Can you sit up for me?”

Letting out soft whines, he tried to lift his body up, but was too weak and too caged in to get his back even a centimetre off the mattress. You saw the issue, and pulled the covers apart slightly so he could move a little more, both hands pulling gently at his shoulders so he could sit up properly.

Never had you seen someone this unwell from a simple fever. Sure, you’ve felt like shit before, but San’s condition was a little worrying. “Is there some private doctor I can call?”

“What,” he huffed, a smile etching onto his face as he looked into your eyes, “makes you think I have a private doctor?”

“Oh, I dunno, you’re a rich asshole?”

Chuckling, he let his head flop to the side, neck suddenly too weak to hold it up properly. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Annoying, but funny, but sarcastic, but beautiful.”

“Okay, do you wanna continue with that word vomit or are you gonna eat?” You cocked your brow, head tilting to match his posture. “Also, you’re not gonna flatter me by calling me beautiful. That shit doesn’t work on me anymore.”

It had slightly upset San knowing that you had said ‘anymore’--upset him knowing that there were others complimenting what his. But he couldn’t blame them. You really were beautiful in his eyes, even if he hadn’t thought so when he initially laid eyes on you.

“Don’t wanna eat.”

Sighing, you fixed yourself and picked up the bowl, mixing it as you blew to cool it down a little. “You’re not well, you gotta.”

He looked at you with big wide eyes and a small pout--and you couldn’t help but think it was a little cute. “Don’t wanna... unless you feed me?”

Okay, maybe it was a little less cute.

You exhaled, still stirring. “If I do, then you’ll have it all?” He put his hand over his heart, nodding with a sincere look on his face. “Fine then.” You lifted a spoon full of the bone broth to his lips, which he look into his mouth promptly--eyes glued to yours as he did so.

San hummed earnestly. “It’s...actually pretty good.”

Eye twitching, you lightly pushed him. “Why? Did you expect it to be shit?”

“I mean, I heard faint screaming and what I assume was swearing, which could have only come from you because I let everyone have a day off for today. So, yes, forgive my assumption that it would murder me,” he chuckled, opening his mouth once more, in which you carefully put more broth in.

“Be happy that I’m doing this much for you.”

“Because you feel guilty for getting me ill?” 

“No, it was your fault for not taking a hot shower when we came back, like I told you to--and your immune system for being so shit.”

“Okay, first of all, I can’t help it if my immune system wants to act out. I usually don’t get this ill.” You sent him a ludicrous look, continuing to feed him. “What? I really don’t!”

“Tell that to the rain.”

“I-- nevermind. But the second thing is that I offered to take a shower, but you said no!”

“That’s because you wanted to shower with me. No way in hell I was gonna let that happen!”

“You have the shower room for it!”

″Yeah, and I've already passed on my grievances to you yesterday about that hell-room!”

“Well, at least with me with you, you don’t have to worry about--what did you call it? Oh yeah--’Casper the fuckin’ Perverted Ghost’.”

“I’d take a ghost over you any day.”

“You won’t be saying that in a year.”

“Bold of you to assume that I won’t be choosing Casper over you. After all, I’ll be spending time with him as well.”

San scoffed, slightly amused but annoyed at the same time. “Are you actually trying to get me jealous of something that doesn’t exist?”

“Who said Casper doesn’t exist?”

“‘Cause ghosts don’t exist.”

“Tell that to Casper. You’ll find him in my shower room.”

Amidst the conversation, neither of you had noticed how the bowl and cup was now empty, their contents now residing in San’s stomach. But when you did, you got up--ready to walk to the kitchen and put everything away--until his very warm hands wrapped around your elbow gently.

“Please don’t go. You can put all that stuff away later. Just... stay with me.”

Sighing, you decided to listen to him for once an put the tray down before tightening the covers around him again--making him whine. “Noooooo, I wanna hold you.”

“What happened to not wanting me to get sick?”

“I’m ill, stop taking my muddled brain so seriously.”

Your brow cocked up, amused while you looked over his flushed face. “So you’d be willing get me sick too?”

Another pout formed on his face. “Of course not,” he mumbled. “You know what, you’re right. You can go.”

He avoided looking at you, instead fixing his saddened gaze at the window. Your natural scepticism told you that he was just faking it, only putting on an act to get your attention and affection. Yet, for the first time in a while, doubt began to seep in.

Maybe... maybe you could give in. Just this once.

Sighing, you slipped off your slippers and lay down beside him, an arm and leg wrapping around his body to bring him closer to you. A stronger tint of red covered his face as he looked at you, flabbergasted, as he tried to wriggle out of your touch. “What are you doing, you’ll get sick--”

“My immune system is much stronger than yours, I’ll live. Besides, you look cosy,” you muttered, nestling your face into the soft blanket. Even his blanket smelled like a garden in the rain, despite the amount of sweat that’s probably seeped into it.

Truly, he did, and you couldn’t deny that you wanted to hug the human burrito.

San had, instead, found you cute, cheek squished against the fabric surrounding him. Let his mind wonder to the image of you pressed against him--without the covers coming between you two.

Again.

Would you look this peaceful, sleeping on his chest, on a regular day--he thought.

“Are you just going to stare at me or are you gonna get some rest?” San could feel your voice vibrating through the covers despite the thickness of it.

“Hard not to stare at you, ya know?” he relaxed himself, despite feeling like he was baking beneath the blanket, and let his head rest on the pillow, cheek pressed against your forehead.

“Goddamn, you’re hot. Did you take any medicine while I was cooking?”

“Oh, Hun, there’s no cure for sexiness,” he coughed, a smirk pulling at his lips from the joke he made.

Another sigh was pulled from your throat as you got up to look for any painkillers he could take. Sane began to whine once more, rolling over since he could barely had enough energy to move with his arms when he was this tired--a full belly of warm broth and tea not helping what so ever.

“No--wait. Come back...”

“You need painkillers.”

With a straight face, he stared deep into your eyes, slightly glossy and sparkling under the dim sunlight coming into the room. “But you’re my painkiller.”

“Yeah, I’m going to get you some meds,” you deadpanned, scooping up the tray to leave the grown-ass mafia boss whining and rolling around, throwing a tantrum.

After some hard thinking and remembering that Wooyoung had given you his number, you called him up as you stood in the doorway, looking at San’s calm state of sleeping.

“My dear sister,” you heard a voice finally say over the phone, “what requires my assistance?”

“...Wooyoung?”

“Yes, dear sister?”

“What in the world has possessed you call me your ‘dear sister’?”

“Because you’re gonna be my friend’s wife some day, so I need to get used to seeing you as my sister-from-another-mister.”

Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you decided to not comment on his outlandish claims. “San’s not feeling well.”

“Is that why he sent us all away?” he laughed, somehow finding this situation amusing--since this is what his best friend tends to do; finds his weakened state as vulnerability, and if there was one thing San hated, it was feeling vulnerable.

But if he truly hated that, then why pursue this why you--when he know that it would force him to bring his guard down?

“I think so. No one was here when I came out of my room. Not the cooks or the maids or even the guards,” you said, taking another gander as if there might be someone roaming the halls to disprove your statement.

There wasn’t.

“Okay then. You want me to give you our private doctor’s number?”

Chuckling to yourself because you knew you were right (immediately confusing Wooyoung), you hummed, “yeah, that would be great.”

“O-Okay. Lemme text it to you. But do you need anything else? I know from experience San can get a little clingy when he’s not in his right mind,” he said, a boisterous giggle passing his lips.

“Nah, it’s fine.” You let your gaze brush over your captor’s figure. “Just send me the number and I’ll take it from there.”

“Okie dokie then, dear sister. I’ll leave you to deal with that enigma.”

“Alright, Wooyoung. See you tomorrow?”

“Call me ‘dear brother’, then maybe I’ll hang u--”

You shoved your phone into your back pocket after ending the call, thinking that it would take him a few minutes. Proving you wrong, the phone buzzes to life within the next ten seconds, Wooyoung sending you a couple of messages.

Wooyoung: Well that was a rude Wooyoung: No matter, I still love ya, dear sister Wooyoung: Probs should clarify that it’s platonic in case San sees it and gets all jelly Wooyoung: Anyway, here’s the number Wooyoung: XXXXXXXXXX

Y/N: Thanks, bro

Wooyoung: 🥺🥺 You called me ‘bro’

Smiling a little, you called the number--which had indeed taken you to a doctor’s clinic. After hearing of his exact temperature and other symptoms, the woman over the phone had concluded that it was as you first suspected--the common cold.

She told you to keep giving him painkillers and he should be fine within the week. Ending the call with a polite ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, you left to get San more broth and medication, and hopefully you’d lay down with him again.

Which is exactly what you did for the rest of the day, opting to stay with him for the night too in order to make sure he really was okay. Thankfully, the worst of his fever had passed by the time morning came around and he was feeling much better.

You, however, were exhausted after looking after him, deep in your slumber as you shifted closer to San, who had broken free of his blanket prison and wrapped it around the two of you. The sunlight peeking through the window paled in comparison to the faint smile of glee San had adorned when he saw you.

Cheeked pressed up against his shoulder, and arm and a leg draped over his body like a koala clinging to a tree.

Just like he had thought the day before.

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​​​​ , @sparklychangbin​​​​ , @shawkneecaps​ If you wanna be tagged, feel free to ask!

[gracelesslady23]

absolutely Love your prongsfoot fics!,!!I am curious about ur vampire and injustice wips. loved that azkaban snippet, it was deliciously angsty!!!

Thanks so much for the compliment and the ask! (super glad you liked the angsty Azkaban snippet too – I’m so excited to one day post that fic 😊)

The Vampire WIP was my original plan for my fic for James Potter fest I realised was way too ambitious for the timeline lol. (I ended up submitting this fic for the fest 😊).

The WIP fic takes the concept of Vampire Hunter James and Vampire Sirius much further… Sirius and James both come from a long line of Vampires and Vampire Hunters, respectively. They meet accidently when they are very young and quickly become fast friends until Fleamont discovers just who his son has become friends with and their friendship splits apart.

Many years later James (who is a fully fledged hunter in his own right) gets seriously injured in a raid against Vampire Bellatrix gone wrong and is admitted to hospital. Sirius who has split from his family at that point works in the hospital and uncovers Bellatrix’s plan to finish James off. Remembering his old friend fondly, despite the fact that James now openly hates all vampires including Sirius, Sirius pretty much abducts James to keep him safe… While hiding out at Sirius’s place while James recovers and completely despite themselves they can’t help but be drawn to each other’s personality (as well as being extremely physically attracted to each other lol). Basically my attempt at a enemies to lovers with a vampire spin.

Here's a snippet:

~~~

Sirius rubbed his palms nervously over his jeans. If were capable of it, he was sure his palms would be sweating profusely.

“So…” Remus said after far too long of a pause, “you’ve kidnapped a vampire hunter.”

Sirius cringed.

“I didn’t kidnap him.”

Remus tore his eyes away from the sleeping body on the bed to regard Sirius with deeply unimpressed look.

“You hypnotised to sleep, carted him from the hospital where he was receiving medical treatment, brought him to your apartment and now he’s asleep in your bed. I’m keen to hear what you would call it?”

“Saving him?” Sirius offered, the tipping up of his last syllable sounding completely unconvincing even to his own ears. “He killed Rodolphus and almost Bellatrix. It was only a matter of time before Bellatrix found him again and finished him off. Come on Remus, what was I supposed to do? At least here, I can protect him.”

Remus looked down at the snoring lump that was James Potter.

“Just leave him.”

“Remus, you must see reason – ”

“No, you need to see reason. I suspect the only reason he is not currently trying to kill you is because he is asleep.”

~~~

I don’t know if other writers do this, but Injustice is an idea that I love but have put on hold until I become a much better writer and can actually do it some justice (pun intended :P). So, I haven’t really got a snippet for it, but I have got a very large planning document!

Its an AU where Sirius never went to Hogwarts so he and James never met. James is magical lawyer (he mostly lives off his inheritance and takes on cases for the downtrodden pro bono). Anyway Regulus Black turns up at his office and he’s about to turn him away immediately – because why would the Black’s of all people need his services, the Blacks were usually the people James was defending against, not working for!

However, he is intrigued by Regulus’s story… a couple of years before Sirius caused a huge scandal in the wizarding world by confessing to losing his mind and killing twelve muggles as well as his own mother. He was sent to Azkaban never to be released, but Regulus maintains that it wasn’t Sirius that killed them and instead he was taking the fall for their unwell (now deceased) father. James does some of his own research and becomes fascinated not just by the murder itself (and upon inspection how neither Sirius’s confession nor Regulus’s version of events entirely match up with the evidence), but also by Sirius himself. Ultimately James falls for Sirius through character witnesses, stories of his accomplishments and pictures, etc. before they even actually meet, at the same time as trying to uncover the truth of who is actually responsible for the crime Sirius was imprisoned for.

[mel-street]

 SPOILERS AHEAD 

okay i dont want to do homework and i just finished episode 6 of tbobf and i have MANY MANY thoughts so imma go on a ramble here

spoilers underneath so be warned :)

- first off COBB VANTH, definitely wasnt expecting to see him again so that was pretty cool, he’s not my favorite but seeing him again was cool

- okay LUKE? AND GROGU? AND AHSOKA? AND MANDO? I AM LITERALLY UNWELL. i cried so hard, im crying now, this seriously isnt something i ever thought i’d see outside of headcannons and fanart on the internet. the 7 year old who decided to watch the weird sci fi movies my dad was so obsessed with is literally SHAKING right now. this was literally my spiderman no way home as a star wars fan

- we need a whole sub section to talk about ahsoka so here we go

if you know me you know i have an INSANE ahsoka obsession. we all know that she’s my favorite star wars character in existance, i’ve read her novel and watched every episode of clone wars and rebels that she’s in as well as her mando episode multiple times.

i know the star wars fandom in there infinite ability to hate star wars has issues with live action ahsoka and ngl it took a while to get used to in the mandolorian, but its definitely grown on me now and i generally dont think there’s anything wrong with rosario’s portrayal. people need to remember that its been YEARS since clone wars ahsoka, she’s no longer the snippy 14 year old girl we all grew up with, she’s aged now. we see this in rebels (another reason for people to go see rebels) and we also see her in the very last episode of rebels, she doesnt talk outside of one line but we see that she’s grown and that she’s changed. people complaining about how ahsoka is “boring” now is just stupid because all she did was grow up and they need to accept it.

and yeah i get how seeing cartoon characters in live action is weird because obviously its not going to be the same as the original but i think what we have is the best its going to get and its pretty good for bringing a character from a different medium to life 

on a side note, see rosario play ahsoka after seeing her as claire in daredevil was WEIRD 

okay now we’re transitioning to CAD BANE

- literally the part of the episode that made me gasp. he looks SO GOOD in life action and anyone complaining is just plain BLIND (once again, this man is GROWN, he was already grown in clone wars and its been literal YEARS, ofc he’s old and faded)

i was literally so scared for cobb in that scene (also i definitely dont think he’s dead) and hearing his voice again gave me CHILLS 

yeah i have a lot more thoughts i just have homework, but that was hands down my favorite star wars episode of all time of all the shows (not counting clone wars and rebels obviously) it was just like *star wars* at its core

also BRING BOBA BACK IN HIS OWN SHOW, i love all the cameos and shit we’re getting but why would they name the show the book of boba fett when he’s not even in like 1/3 of the episodes of his own show? i feel like its just a segway into mando season 3 and although thats great, it feels kind of unfair to boba’s character and temuera 

[oh-styles]

THIS DREAM? MAN fuck dream harry omg horrible but imagine famous YN have this dream and maybe not Olivia but whatever costar of harry and she’s moping around all day and he’s ?? What’s goes on and when she says he can’t believe she even thought in a dream he ever would (I just need to restore my faith in make believe Harry pls)

SAME BRO

It would be sad if it was Florence in her dream, because she loves Flo. She’s grown very close with her, and talks to her all the time. Hell, she even cooked dinner for her and Harry a few times. And now, even the thought of her makes her eyes burn. 

It’s not real, but it sure as hell felt it. She remembers being home alone, and getting the text from Harry saying he wants her out of the house by the end of the night, because Florence would be moving in. All those years just tossed to the side like a bag of garbage. Not even a moment to think about his daughter, who he would be leaving homeless with her mother. 

She knows it’s not real, but it’s hovering over her like a rain cloud. 

She spends most of the morning in her office; going through emails, ordering River some new sweaters and socks, and herself a Gucci bag because she’s sad so why not? She hears the gentle knock on the door, and can’t even fathom the thought of looking Harry in the eye. 

The cheating bastard--

“Love? I made eggs...” He peeks his head in, and gives her a warm smile. “And toast.”

She closes her laptop, and scoots back in her chair, and admires from her desk the boy standing in the middle of her office in nothing but short running shorts, white ankle socks, and blue marker etched over his chest. 

He notices she’s staring, and huffs. “Laid down for two blood minutes...”

“Thank you for breakfast.”

“Well, my pleasure, madam.” He curtsies, before setting the plate in front of her. 

“Honest question...but if you were to break up with me, you wouldn’t do it over a text, right?”

He’s caught off guard, and double takes with a stern expression. “No offense, love, but if I were to ever break up with you, toss my casually off the house because it’s obvious I am unwell.”

“Seriously--hypothetical question, just...you wouldn’t do it over text, right?”

“No decent person would.”

“How do you feel about Florence?”

“City or person?” 

“Harry, I swear--”

“Did you have a bad dream I dumped you over a text for Flo?” He’s smiling, dipping his head to the side with a pop of his dimple. 

“It was a dream, and it was bad, and I enjoyed it very little, yes.”

He shakes his head, but looks behind you, out the window that overlooks the ocean. He ponders for a moment, and then returns. “This morning...you weren’t actually sleeping when you kicked me in the bullocks, were you?”

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS BLOODY BOUQUET Vol.6 Sakamaki Reiji [Track 2]

Original title: 黒薔薇の悲劇

Source: Diabolik Lovers Bloody Bouquet Vol. 6 Sakamaki Reiji [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (9:32 ~ 25:30)

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: God Reiji’s love towards the MC is so strong in this one. His inner monologues during the end are super cheesy but I honestly live for that kind of stuff. It’s crazy how he started out as the ‘cold guy’ but in most of the recent stuff, he has been so smooth and sappy. :P I wonder how long he’ll be able to keep the curse a secret from the MC though. He seems to be suffering quite a bit already after all. 

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Tragedy of the Black Roses

Reiji walks up to you.

“So this is where you’ve been. I was looking for you.”

You flinch, turning around. 

“Oh dear? Did I startle you? My sincere apologies. However, you are to blame for wandering around without my permission. Making me look around for you...”

He steps closer.

“... is simply outrageous. Why are you here? Do you have plans to head out, perhaps?”

You explain.

“Ah...To buy flowers? Thank you very much. That is very considerate of you.”

You ask if he needs something.

“No, I baked a cake, so I was wondering if you would like to enjoy a slice together. However, we have a more important business at hand right now. ...To avoid making me go through unnecessary trouble, please remember to get permission from me before doing something from here on out. Understood?”

You nod.

“I am glad you seem to understand.”

*Rustle*

“Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“Fufu...This is your punishment for making me search for you.”

You get flustered.

“Your face is flushed. I’d dare argue that quite some time has passed since we established this relationship, yet you still cannot get used it?”

*Rustle*

“Please try and change that. There is no longer any reason to get embarrassed after all. ...Or are you perhaps enticing me?”

You quickly deny that, trying to get away.

“Woah there. Where are you going? I am not done talking to you.”

You tell Reiji you should go to the kitchen to eat the cake. 

“Ah, the cake? That can wait. Right now, it is much more important I have you grow accustomed to the touch of my lips.”

Your eyes widen in surprise.

“No need to be so surprised, is there? Well then, scoot a little closer. Come on...”

*Rustle rustle*

*Smooch*

“Your body seems a little tense, but there is nothing to be afraid of, is there? If you are so resistant to kissing...”

*Rustle*

“Then how about...”

Reiji bites you.

*Gulp*

“...I do this instead? Fufu...”

*Gulp gulp*

“...Haha, seems like you did not dislike that.”

*Ding dong*

Reiji looks up.

“Oh dear? Who could that be? We are not expecting any visitors today. Good grief...They interfered at the worst possible timing. (1) It cannot be helped. I shall go take a look.”

You say it might be for you.

“A package? Did you buy something?”

You explain.

“I see. Let us go together then. It would be better for me to accompany you, in case it is a large package.”

The two of you walk towards the door.

*TIMESKIP*

*Creaaak*

“Oh? There is nobody here. How odd.”

You point towards the ground.

“Hm? What seems to be the matter?”

You pick up the bouquet of flowers. 

“A bouquet of black roses. Why has it been left here...?”

You ask Reiji who the bouquet could be from. 

“Who knows? I have no clue who might have send us these. For one, if I had to think of someone who would only leave a bouquet of flowers behind without a name on it...Well, I suppose those prank-loving foolish brothers of mine are the only ones who come to mind.”

Reiji frowns.

“It’s just...I doubt they would send us flowers. Who on earth could have...? Either way, show me those for a second.”

You try and hand Reiji the flowers, but prick your finger on one of the thorns in the process. 

“...Hm? What is the matter? Do not tell me...A thorn? Good grief, you are so clumsy. What are you doing? You are bleeding. Give me your hand, please.”

He grabs hold of your hand, licking the wound.

“...Hm? No. It is nothing. More importantly, I shall not allow you to selfishly hurt your own body like that. You belong to me after all. Please be careful from here on out. Did I make myself clear? (mumbles) ...That being said, what was that just now?”

You find a card amongst the flowers.

*Rustle*

“Oh? That’s...? A card? Show it to me.”

*Flip*

“Haah...You have stained it with your blood. Good grief. ...Hm? Words have started appearing on the bloodied spots. ...’The throns of the black roses have put a permanent curse on you. Your blood will gradually begin to rot, becoming a poison which torments the immortal. This process can no longer be stopped. There is only one way to survive, to continue having the person you love feast upon your blood. If not, the curse will surely become the end of you.’ 

...Those are the words written on the card. Hm. Hmph! How ridiculous! ...!!”

Reiji burns the card.

“I am sure it is some sort of prank. No need to worry about it.”

You still seem worried. 

“I am the one telling you not to worry, so there is no need to look so anxious.”

He turns towards you.

“If you are so doubtful, why don’t we put it to the test? I shall prove to you that I can suck your blood...without a problem.”

He steps closer.

“Give me your hand.”

*Rustle*

Reiji bites you.

“...Mmh...Nn...Haah...Hah.”

You frown.

“It is nothing. I am simply contemplating where I should suck from next. I can tell from looking at your face that only your finger does not satisfy you after all. Hmph. Well then...Shall I suck from your nape next?”

He bites you once more.

“Mmh...Nn...Haah...Seems like I won’t be able to satisfy you otherwise after all.”

*Gulp gulp*

“Mm...Haah...What a lovely reaction. Ah, but...You needed to be punished, did you not? Something other than my fangs made you bleed after all. If it feels good, it will not count as a pentalty. I must make it more painful.”

You flinch. 

“Fufu...No need to be afraid, is there? I am simply teaching you who you belong to. ...Ah, it seems like the cut on your fingertip has opened up once more. Haahn...Mmh...”

*Gulp*

“Nn...Blood is oozing out...Ah. At this rate, I might just suck you dry from your fingertip. ...Hm? What’s the matter?”

You ask if he is okay.

“Seems like you really do not trust me, do you? Have I not told you that everything is alright? No need to worry. See? Take a good look. Do I look unwell in any way?”

You shake your head.

“For one, you are taking this ‘curse’ too seriously. Growing worried over something so vague is a waste of time and energy. Well...I suppose I might need to suck even more of your blood before I start suffering. Fufu...”

*Rustle* 

“To put my theory to the test, shall I have even more of your blood? This time...I will suck from your throat...Mmh...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Nn...Mmh...Nn...”

*Rustle*

“Haah, haah...I shall not allow you to fight back. You should...Mmh...just offer me...your blood...Nn...”

*Gulp*

“Haah, haah...”

You nearly collapse.

*Rustle* 

“...Woah there! ...Haah...Are you okay? Seems like your knees gave in? Well, I suppose it is true that I cannot savor you thoroughly right here. Let us head to the bedroom then.”

*Rustle rustle*

“We shall continue where we left over there, okay?”

Reiji escorts you to the bedroom.

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick tock・tick tock・tick tock*

“...Aah. Ugh...Seems like she finally...fell asleep...Cough, cough...!! Haah, haah...Haahー...I might have...pushed myself just a little too hard...Cough, cough...!!”

Despite what I told her, the words written on that card were the truth. That was something I found out at once by checking her blood. However, I lied to her. Because I had a feeling that if she were to discover the truth, she would voluntarily try and distance herself from me. The curse had already started to eat away at our bodies. Even so, she accepted my fangs. In that case, there is only one thing I must do. From here on out, no matter what happens, I must ensure she remains ignorant. If I can withstand this suffering all by myself, she should be able to live happily like before, without realizing a thing. 

*Creaaaak*

“Haah, haah, haah...All I did was move a little...yet I’m out of breath...That curse must be...quite powerful...Ugh...Haah, haah...However, right now...This is for the best...This is...!”

*Rustle rustle*

“Argh...Haah...”

Reiji gazes at you sleeping.

“For your sake, I am willing to make any sacrifice. Therefore, you don’t need to know anything...and simply...keep on smiling...like always...”

*Creaaaak*

ーー And so, I concealed the truth from her, as my days of suffering in the shadows began. This was extremely painful without a doubt, and cruel above all, but as long as I could keep her by my side...That was the only thought on my mind as I continued to endure the pain and suffering.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) In Japanese he says ‘at a good time/moment’, but it is obviously meant in a sarcastic/ironic way, so it felt more natural to me to just use ‘worst possible timing’. Unlike in spoken dialogue, you can’t use intonation in written speech to indicate that somebody is being sarcastic and actually means the opposite. 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

This Needs To Stop.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics, p*dopilia, grooming, mental health and r*cism. 

Ok so this is a bit of a rant so apologies for that, I usually try to stay away from sensitive or controversial topics but this is something that I am passionate about and that I think is important. Also I just want to say that I am in no way directing this to the entirety of the M*lina fandom, I know most are just enjoying their ship, but there are those few who are deliberately seeking out darklina posts or are cross tagging and coming into darklina’s asks and just generally harassing the fandom which sadly I am seeing happen more and more often. Also I do feel like this can apply to all fandoms not just exclusively shadow and bone/ grishaverse, its just this is the one I am experiencing it in right now.   

I’ve seen antis call darkling/darklina fans many problematic things, delusional, mentally ill, ab*se apologists. They also like throwing around words like grooming and p*dophile. The thing that makes me angry about this is that they are taking sensitive topics, topics that many users have been effected by and they are using them to attack shippers merely for liking a character or ship that they don’t. What is even more frustrating is they seem to be throwing these words around without evening fully understanding what they even mean. For example the claim that the Darkling is a p*dophile because Alina is only 17 in the books. Well p*dophilia is a psychiatric disorder where adults are attracted to children and in order for it to be classed as p*dophilia the child involved has to be 13 or younger. A 16 year old can be diagnosed as a p*dophile if they become attracted to a child that is five years or more younger than them. So the relationship between the Darkling and Alina does not meet the criteria to be categorised this way as Alina is over the age of 13. As for it being a case of Alina is underaged, well, for one that depends on where in the world you are. This is based on imperial russia, in russia the age of consent is 16. This means that a 16 year old can have a sexual relationship with a 30 year old, a 70 year old or a 500 year old immortal and in a court of law it is still legal, whatever your own moral issues around age gaps might be. Even then it can be argued that it is irrelevant because, as with most historical literature where young girls marry older men, you cannot put modern day concepts onto them. Like I said this story is based on Imperial Russia, the life expectancy of a person in that time was around 30 years old. That means a 15 year old girl is already half way through her life, she is literally middle aged. It is at this point usually that girls started to prepare to get married and have children and yes sometimes it was to an older man because men were expected to provide for their wife and family which means having a house and job and means to support a family which an older man was more likely to have. My point is a 15-17 year old in say Imperial Russia is not the same as a 15-17 year old in modern day therefore you can’t take modern day laws and morals and place them onto that situation, it doesn’t work, they lived completely different lives. In Alina’s world, she is at the age where girls might get married and her being courted by a man of the general’s status would have been a normal occurrence, for her to have caught the attention of someone with his standing would have been considered very advantageous for her. I mean she literally gets two marriage proposals in book 2, where I believe she is still 17, and Nikolai is talking about how if she marries him it’ll be in name only and they can make Mal her guard so she can do the horizontal tango with him whenever she feels like it, so clearly the characters themselves feel like Alina is at an age where she can, one get married, and two be engaging in a sexual relationship. 

So why does all of this matter? Well it matters because people reading these posts, asks and comments left on posts, may be victims of p*dophilia and grooming. A lot of these comments don’t have trigger warnings and when you are talking about sensitive and triggering topics like this you need to be careful and when you are talking about them without even really understanding them, and where they can’t apply to the characters you are talking about anyway, then you are potentially triggering someone needlessly because you didn’t need to be talking about it in the first place, I hope I am making sense there. I am not saying don’t talk about these subjects if you do think they are relevant, I am saying make sure you do the research, that you understand the subject you are addressing and when you do talk about it do it in a respectful manner, don’t throw it out there in an angry spew accompanied by alot of other derogatory words because that won’t help anyone.     

Another subject I want to talk about is I am also seeing a lot of posts about how darklinas must be delusional or mentally unwell. This, again, is hurtful and harmful. Mental illness for a very long time has had a stigma around it, one that makes the person suffering from it feel weak and ashamed. There was always the attitude of if you are mentally ill then there is something wrong with you, or the attitude of oh just get over it, cheer up, think a different way. But mental illness isn’t just a state of emotion its often caused by hormonal imbalances and chemicals. Genetics can also play a part. There is nothing wrong with someone who is mentally ill their brain is just wired a different way. I also find it problematic when people throw around the word delusional. Maybe its nothing to you, just a word, but alot of mental illnesses have actual delusions as one of their symptoms. These can be scary and upsetting and are outside the control of the person experiencing them. Making the suggestion that liking a particular ships means you are delusional is potentially very triggering to those who do battle delusions and have fought to overcome them. The stigma around mental illness has prevented alot of people suffering from mental illness from seeking help out of shame or embarrassment or even out of fear of being judged and although I do feel like as a society we’ve become alot more open about mental health and alot more accepting there is still a long way to go. When antis start saying things like ‘I can’t believe people ship this, they must be mentally ill,’ or ‘they must be sick in the head’, or ‘if you like this ship than you must be delusional’ not only are they being incredibly prejudice against people who have mental illnesses but it is also so harmful because if there is someone reading that post who is struggling with their mental health and are considering seeking help then you’ve just made them feel more ashamed, more like there is something wrong with them which will make them even less likely to seek out help and as I said before there isn’t anything wrong with a person who has a mental health condition they are just different from you. That doesn’t give you the right to make them feel like they are less capable of deciding what they do or do not like or even what they should or should not like to be classified as a ‘normal’ person. 

The most latest problematic statements I’ve seen have been those accusing Darklina’s of being r*cist. This one I found a bit funny in a it’s not funny kind of way. I just don’t think there is much logic behind this view point. I’m not sure I understand the antis reasoning here. Mostly because I’m pretty sure the majority of the Darklina fandom comes from the books where Mal is described as being a white, brown haired, blue eyed guy. Funnily enough the Darkling is described as being able to pass for Shu, though to be clear it isn’t confirmed that he is a POC, but out of the two in the books the Darkling is more likely to be a POC than Mal. On top of that whilst many darklina fans have made it clear they are not a fan of Mal in the books many have said they like the show version of Mal who, as we all know, the actor Archie is a POC. So by anti logic darklinas are all r*cist because they don’t like book Mal who is depicted as white but we do like show Mal who is a POC. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I do understand that there were some ‘fans’ who made inappropriate and r*cist comments to some cast members including Archie and I would never ever condone that no matter who I ship. But you also can’t condemn an entire fandom just because of the actions of a select few. I don’t judge all M*linas for that one fan who accused Ben of being a pr*dator and p*dophile because of his friendship with Jessie. Once again my point is r*cism is a serious topic and not something someone should use as a retort or comeback to someone not shipping your ship. When we use these words casually it makes it less likely that they’ll be taking seriously when they really do need to be taken seriously, when they really are relevant to what is happening. If we keep using them so casually then when we really do need to talk about them, when it really matters, people will just shrug and go ‘its just antis being antis.’ 

I think it is possible for people to like different things, to debate and analyse different relationships and characters and talk about what flaws they may have in a respectful manner. I wouldn’t say I am anti m*lina but at the same time there are things about them that I find problematic but when I talk about those things I hope I do so in a way that doesn’t demean those who do like the ship. I understand that people will have a different interpretation than me and whilst I might not understand where their thinking comes from or why they have a particular opinion I would never make the assumption that they are mentally unwell or make judgements on their character or morals. I try to think about the words I am writing. I know how easy it can be to just throw a word out there without thinking about it. I used to use the word delusional to describe fans of certain ships, but when I recognised how damaging and problematic that was I stopped and I changed my behaviour because it was never my intention to hurt others. I guess the main message I am trying to convey here is we need to be careful with our words they’re not as insignificant as we might think.                

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)