#I am poor and as such haven’t been on a plane since I was 9

[hotmessmaxpress]

I’m going to New York for the first time this week and I’m STRESSING

[jahayla-parker]

This Sacred Heart: Tom Holland x Reader SMAU

Not a request, just something that came to me awhile ago and had to post in honor of my baby’s birthday!

Singer!Reader x Tom Holland

Warnings: None!

Face Claim: Selena Gomez

Disclosure: lyrics and songs are not mine, nor are most of the photos.

liked by harryholland64, yourusername, zendaya, and 9, 362, 916 others

Tomholland2013: Tried to surprise Y/N by coming home early for our anniversary.. While I love coming home to my beautiful girl, this was not what I had envisioned. I clearly interrupted something but she refuses to let me hear what she was working on. So much so that she sat on the floor and just starred at me like that. Whatever it is, she’s going to kill it as always. Yet she won’t let me hear, a bit rude isn’t that? Even so, angel I love you and am so happy to see you. Once your done hiding in the studio, I have plans to celebrate the most amazing 2 years. Happy anniversary love!

view all 654,789 comments

yourusername: Thomas Stanley Holland, are you actually trying to guilt trip me right now with this post? Boy, nnnnmmhm, now it will be even longer before you hear it

tomholland2013: if I delete it, does my time go back? 

yourusername: I won’t extend it...you don’t need to delete it, after all, I look kinda cute lmao. But, don’t think this is going to speed it up. 

tomholland2013: you look insanely cute always love

tomandynforver: Tom begging for his life here lol

tomhollandfanatic: oooo she full-named him haha

nikkihollandphotography: be patient with the poor girl, it’ll be worth it. It is phenomenal @/yourusername

yourusername: thank you Nikki! I loved you being a sounding board for this track!

tomholland2013: pardon? My mum got to hear it before me? 

ynupdates_: After reading the comments, I am almost certain this is a new album!

liked by  harryholland64, tomholland2013, zendaya, and 8, 984, 263 others

Yourusername: Tom, you’ve always been there for me and helped me with my career in more ways than you know. And when it felt like I had no one, I knew I always had you! Happy two year anniversary T! 🥂Here’s to over 4 years of friendship and 2 years together 🥰 I gotta say, if I had known what I'd known now, I never would've played so nonchalant. ❤️

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tomholland2013: Y/N/N, you’ve been there for me since day one, even in my worst times you could see the best of me 🥹 I know you’re busy recording this week but I don’t want to miss you like this, come back, be here. I miss your American smile darling 😘

yourusername: I maayyyyy be using the wifi one a plane as we speak cause I need to see you too cause no matter where we are, you’re eyes look like coming home 😉

harryholland64: really? Right now his eyes are teary and red despite sporting a dorky grin

yourusername: Baz, go comfort him you Div! I’ll be home soon and will take over when I get there 😊

taylorswift: this looks recent 👀 did he help you while you were writing? What did he think?! Was I right?😌

ynmusiclvr: writing?! Tom mentioned recording!! Does this mean a new album?!

gigilovesyn: ^^^ I think so, and I think I may spot lyrics 👀

yourusername: @/taylorswift nooo I was too shy to share it w/ him at that point so I just hummed through the lyrics while he helped me try different beats and chords 😍 he has heard SNIPPETS (as you could probably tell haha) but that’s all for now 🤫

nikkihollandphotography: I haven’t seen him play guitar in awhile, this is really cute. Happy 2nd anniversary hun ❤️

yourusername: thank you Nikki ❤️ see you in a few days!

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Yourusername: Loved getting away for the weekend and finalizing some writing photocred: Baz @/harryholand64

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tomholland2013: it was a wonderful trip darling, even though you kept sneaking off to write 

zendaya: omg Tom, you’re going to feel so stupid when you see all of the things you’re whining about was worth it

yourusername: says the boy on his phone in the bathroom instead of snuggling next to the fireplace before we leave tomorrow 

tomholland2013: 🏃 

harryholland64: thank you, someone understands photo credits  ❤️

hazosterfield: can’t wait to hear it! 

yourusername: you’ll be waiting until after Tom as normal

hazosterfield: cry, but he has to wait still, others got to hear it

yourusername: if you guys don’t stop the whining, I am blocking all of you. In all seriousness, it is not ready for him to hear yet and I don’t trust you boys to not spoil it to him, so you gotta wait 💁‍♀️

ynismybae: when is the album?! 👀

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Tomholland2013: Darling, your little dance upon finishing writing never fails to bring a smile to my face. I may not have any clue this time what you wrote, but your excitement caused me to be excited nonetheless.  ❤️

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oliviarodrigo: goals! Can’t wait to hear it!

taylorswift: now you just need to head to NY and record! HMU when you’re here  ❤️

yourusername: not a big fan of the photo but thanks baby boy  ❤️

tomholland2013: shush darling, you look amazing  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

musicgenius1997: awww, I am excited too   👀

liked by nikkihollandphotography, tomholland2013, tuwaine, and 8, 268, 684 others

Yourusername: Like a child when our eyes meet ... even during a photoshoot! This is a bit of a through back (a few months) but I am missing you and wanted to say I love you Tommy.  ❤️ P.S. While you suck at spoilers, you know my weakness is keeping surprises/gifts a secret instead of just giving it early .... soooo, if you’re still wanting to hear what I’ve been working on and you see this, I suppose I can show you ONE song  💁‍♀️  ❤️

view all 891, 362 comments

tomholland2013: hell yes I am seeing this! I’d love to hear any song you’re ready for me to hear hun. I love and miss you too darling!  ❤️

yourusername: alright London Boy, since filming is happening here, when you’re done on set today, come to the studio and you can hear the whole song this time

harryholland64: thanks Y/N, now he is rushing so much he is knocking things over in his dressing room. It is day 1 of filming and he is already driving my crazy 🙄 

yourusername: lmao sorry Baz . Would you accept an apology through hearing the song after him? 

harryholland64: yes, yes I would accept that

dommoholland: you two are precious  ❤️

ynmusicfanz: can we hear it early too?  👀

yourusername: sorry, not early, but I will drop this single from the album in a few weeks

ynmusicfanz: omg you responded!  😱 thank youuuu  ❤️ 

taylorswift: it is a sweet photo, but your American smile is better 😉

liked by yourusername, taylorswift, zendaya, and 8, 246, 732 others

Tomholland2013: She sent me this saying she finished recording the first song on the new album. Needless to say I am super proud of her and cannot wait to hear it!   👀  ❤️

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yourusername: thank you baby, now hurry up and get here so I can play it for you before I panic and change my mind  😂

tomholland2013: I’m trying, Baz drives like a grandmother I swear

taylorswift: this was such a fun collab!  ❤️

nikkihollandphotography: if it is anything like the demo Y/N I promise he’ll love it  ❤️

yourusername: ahhh thank you  ❤️

tomholland2013: update: I’m in love 

yourusername: I thought you already were in love..?  💁‍♀️

tomholland2013: with you, absolutely was and still am. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  I was referring to the song. I’m very grateful darling ❤️

ynupdatesweekly: it is so cute she always lets him hear the songs before the world, even though it seems she was scared this time to do so

mymainyn: I think this one was explicitly about him that’s prob why

liked by harryholland64, tomholland2013, zendaya, and 5, 976, 423 others

Yourusername: London Boy ft @/taylorswift is out now! I am not going to even bother trying to be sneaky about who this one is about, we all know Tom is my London Boy. ❤️ Not that I need an excuse but, who wouldn’t want to write a song about him? Tommy thank you for being my biggest supporter and best friend for 5 years today (not to mention my Gorgeous boyfriend for over 2)! 

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tomholland2013: Y/N, I will never stop thanking you for this song it is the most thoughtful thing ever! You’re clearly better with words, but darling I hope you know I am so much obliged to you for these past 5 years; you’re my everything ❤️

dailyynupdateblog: the fact she is dropping it on their friendiversary is saur cute

hazosterfield: has it really been 5 years already?! Well, I feel old now haha. I don’t get a photo?!

tomholland2013: mate, she and I were friends before she met you

hazosterfield: by a week! and only because I had to miss that week for my other job

yourusername: lol, yes it has been 5 years, but you don’t need to feel old; you’re just as childish as ever Haz! And, no, no photo/post, this song is about Tom not you... but happy early 5yrs to you too Haz

tomholland2013: don’t cave to the Div darling, we all know we were much better friends since day 1 than you and him 

hazosterfield: @/yourusername, thank you, nice to be appreciated, @/tomholland2013 bite me mate

taylorswift: excited for the world to hear it! She worked so hard on this, I am honored she wanted me to be featured on it ❤️

yourusername: I love you, thank you for helping!

liked by yourusername, tuwaine, zendaya, and 9, 561, 453 others

Tomholland2013: Bloody hell, this track and this woman are incredible! Ever since we met 5 years ago @/yourusername, I knew you’d do amazing things. 5 years and 1 (soon to be two) albums later and I still am so proud of you every day! Darling, this song in remarkable and I am so esteemed you chose me as your muse for it. ❤️❤️❤️

P.s. while this may be a single, she is not

yourusername: omg your last little note, you dork 😂. I love you ❤️

taylorswift: damn my best friend is beautiful 

tomholland2013: isn’t she?!

nikkihollandphotography: amazing song and girl, love you both 

tomholland2013: we love you too mum  ❤️

tuwaine: am I one of the mates mentioned?

yourusername: of course lol  ❤️

liked by dommoholland, tomholland2013, zendaya, and 4, 760, 904 others

Yourusername: Happy birthday to my baby boy Tommy! ❤️ Tommy, you never fail to make me smile. But I got to say, I see Sparks Fly whenever you smile Gorgeous. Undoubtedly, you are the best thing that’s ever been Mine. I thank the universe for you every day, you’re so precious! I will see you soon baby, love you!

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tomholland2013: These photos lol  😂 Princess, I don’t know what to say other than that I love you and can’t wait until your flight lands  ❤️

harryholland64: he isn’t lying, he dragged me to the airport already  😂

yourusername: awww baby, I told you I am just now boarding though  ❤️

tomholland2013: I know, but it is only a couple hours from where your last stop, so I don’t mind  ❤️ ❤️❤️

zendaya: love these photos, I can’t breathe I’m laughing too hard  😂

oliviarodrigo: I spy some lyrics  👀

ynhollandgoals: thank you for blessing us with these pictures!  😂

harryholland64′s story:

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Tomholland2013: No caption needed; go buy it next week! #thankyousomuchbaby #thissacredheart  ❤️

view all 759, 236 comments

yourusername: I am so glad you liked it baby  ❤️

tomholland2013: the best birthday gift ever darling, I loved it  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

yourusername: geee, no pressure for next year  😂

hazosterfield: this is sick! Love it, super stoked to hear it tomorrow

ynandtom: WE HAVE ALBUM ART FOLKS! 

nikkihollandphotography: Dom and I are so proud of you @/yourusername and the amount of love you always make Tom feel, but especially after he heard it yesterday and called us in tears, we are so grateful for how loved you make him feel   ❤️

yourusername: omg, stooopp I love you both  ❤️

tomholland2013: it’s true darling  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

liked by taylorswift, tomholland2013, tuwaine, and 8, 695, 927 others

Yourusername: AHHHH, (you may have heard it from @/tomholland2013 last week, but) This Sacred Heart comes out on Spotify and in stores tomorrow!! Thank you all for your patience! This album was so important to me and I cannot wait for you to hear it! As a thank you for waiting, here is the tracklist!  ❤️

If you place an order on my website or through the link on @/thebrotherstrust ‘s page in the next 10 days, you will be entered to win a change at one of 200 signed copies of the album! All the proceeds from those sales go the @/thebrotherstrust charities!  ❤️

view all 892, 631 comments

tomholland2013: Darling, is this what you meant when you said I’d see the rest of my birthday gift when it releases?  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

yourusername: yep! It is only right that the proceeds go to the trust baby boy

tomholland2013: god I love you, thank you again beautiful. I’m so proud of you, and you even let me be a part of this and it means the world  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

yourusername: wouldn’t have it any other way handsome  ❤️

yndailyposts: OMG!!! This list! Also, did anyone notice that the album initials are the same as Tom’s initials (Tom Stanley Holland)?! I’m going to die alone

ynnumber1fan: ofc girl, I mean she may not have said it directly but you know it cannot be only London Boy that is about Tom, I bet this whole album is. After all, it was a gift for him it sounds like

ynmuiscallygirl: and the heart lines in the background has the city of london mapped on it  👀

taylorswift: Already pre-saved and placing my order now! 

hazosterfield: I don’t know if I should congratulate you again or call you a simp tbh 

tomholland2013: I will fight you, this is the best thing ever, don’t you dare attempt to mock

yourusername: Tommy, I love you . Haz, I thought we already knew I was a simp for him?

hazosterfield: true that, but to be fair he is a simp for you majorly so I guess this is fitting haha

dommoholland: Thank you for the early copy Y/N, Nikki and I are both tearing up, this is so wonderful; love you

yourusername: noo, don’t cry, I love you guys  ❤️

tomholland2013: can’t blame them love, it is beautiful  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

____________

Kinda long post but in honor of Tom’s birthday today! Happy birthday bubb! Hope you guys like it!

[bugsy-maria]

Winchester's x Demon Sister! Reader

Warnings: Mention of burning alive, mention of torture and abusive past

"You know I find it hard to believe that you don't recognize your own Daughter," I played with the blade of John's hunting knife, "Were you that much of an absent father?" I looked up at the three hunters I hold hostage. my black eyes staring at them, a deadpanned look across my may face.

"I don't have a daughter!" he lost his cool fast. he yelled at me and I barely said anything.

"Of course you do," I bent down to his eye level, "You just forgot about her in the fire."

~~~~~22 years before~~~~~

3rd POV

Marry had just tucked in her two latest pride and joys. today was their six-month birthdays and something about that felt familiar to Marry as she forgot about it. as she walked out of the room after kissing the twins goodnight, she dismissed the feeling.

Mary passes John as she leaves the nursery, he's on his way to put Dean to bed. Once all children were put to bed, the adults of the house decided that it was their turn to turn in fr the night.

About an hour or two later, Mary stirs in her sleep. the noise from the baby monitor keeping her from sleeping. he sat up ready to make her way to the nursery to see little Sammy and precious (Y/N). she walked through the hall and sees a dim light coming from the TV downstairs.

Mary looks into the room in which the baby duo occupied, just to see the silhouette of her husband standing over the crib both babies slept in. they hadn't expected twins so they had only used the one that Dean used.

"John?" Mary spoke up, "Are they hungry?" she queried.

"Shh." her Husband shushed, she took it as a sign that he had just managed to put the two tots to bed. Mary made her way downstairs to turn off the TV, once she made her way to the bottom of the wooded steps she saw the last thing she expected to see.

On the couch was her husband sleeping, but in the room was John putting the babies to sleep. Marry quickly darted up the stairs turning on the lights to her own death. John awoke to the sounds of his wife screaming.

John saw the sight of the fire in the nursery, he also saw Dean standing in the hall scared.

"Get your siblings!" he shouted at the poor child. as he ran down the stairs to call for help.

~~~~~Present day~~~~~

(Y/N)'s POV

"(Y/N)?" his voice shook.

"Ding! Ding! ding!" I stood straight, "We have a winner!" I pointed at him.

"Get out of her, you black-eyed bitch!" I heard Dean speak up from the end of the line.

"Oh Dee," I chuckled, "I am your sister, I'm just upgraded." I smiled, looking back down at the knife I'm now twisting in my palm.

"You're not my sister, you're just a girl I met at school." his voice turned down yet sterned.

~~~~~9 years before~~~~~

Another day, another motel, another school. I never knew why we moved around a lot. all I knew was that it was for dad's work. I woke up to a single-bed hotel room once again. why only one bed you may ask? well, my dad is a crossroads demon for Hell so he's never around, but when he is I get new marks on my skin.

I got ready for school, I put on a black sweater with a white-collar shirt underneath. I slid my legs into a pair of ripped black jeans and tied my dirt-stained white converse. I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked to the school.

the day went by miserably slow. I was walking to the lunchroom, books safely tucked into my locker. I wasn't going to eat anything, I just had to be there. I felt someone's shoulder knock into mine.

"Sorry." I squeaked out, my frame folding into itself. I looked at the person I ran into. he looked to be a senior, 6' 7" and built like a chad.

"You think you can just push me around?" his voice boomed throughout the hall, making everyone stop.

"n-no," I stuttered. I felt my shoulder get grabbed and my back gets pushed up against the locker.

"I'm gonna make you pay for even laying eyes on me short stack!" he reeled his fist back, I closed my eyes waiting for the impact.

"You wanna think about that again?" a stern voice spoke up. I opened my eyes to see a familiar face, he had light freckles on his skin, dark brown hair, and an old leather jacket. he was always at every school I went to, and always managed to get the reputation of the bad boy everyone was scared of.

the giant quickly scurried off, leaving Dean and me in the same spot.

"You okay?" he looked at me.

"mm." I hummed, "Thanks, Dean." I quietly thanked about to make my way to the lunchroom.

"You know me?" he stopped me.

"Of course, you're always at every school I go to." I looked back at him, "Almost like you follow me." I smiled. most are scared of him, but when you see him almost every day for 13 years you tend to not be as scared.

~~~~~Present day~~~~~

Ever since that day he protected me from bullies and on occasion tended to my wounds caused by my father.

"That happens to also be your sister." I smiled at him. "I swear we crossed paths so many times. I was left to burn in a fire, saved by a demon instead of my own father, always in the same motel just one room over, in the same class as Sam, always saved by Dean, always kicked out by John, and always left behind for the wolves." I walked around them.

"The demon did this to you," Sam concluded.

"You'd think that wouldn't you?" I kneeled in front of him, my knife gliding across his jaw. "Sam it always was you, you were the one to push me over the edge."

~~~~~5 Years Before~~~~~

"You might have had Dean fooled but I'm not!" sam yelled at me. I was hoping Dee would be at their room so he could help me sew up a deep gash I got on my arm. a wound that was being held closed by an old tee-shirt. "I know you are one of those things that killed our mother!"

"Sammy what are you talking about?" tears of pain dried upon my face, but new tears forming on my face. how could Same think I'm a monster?

"Don't call me that!" he pushed me back a little from my shoulders. the harsh movement caused a sting in my wound, but I won't let any pain show now. "I hate you I always have! You're nothing but a monster!" he grabbed my uninjured arm and shoved me out of the room. I stood outside as he slammed the door in my face.

something changed in me that day. something big broke. I hated what I was, so I changed in that split second. my eyes turned black that night.

~~~~~Present day~~~~~

"You know you don't have to watch me." I stood up and looked in the direction of Crowley, the demon who found me burning. "I've been planing this since I was 17." I smiled, watching him disappear. I looked around the room, making sure that he was absolutely gone.

"Thank Lucifer he's gone!" I smiled, I quickly walked over to Dean undoing his restraints.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I may be a demon now, but I still care about you Dee," I said standing up hugging him after dropping the knife.

"I know." he hugged back.

"Dean are you crazy? She's a demon?!" I heard John yell.

"And you left your child to burn alive so it's not like you're all that good either." I went over to sam to undo his restraints too.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

"Well you never did before, so don't know." I smiled, crawling over to John's chair.

"Sam, get the Colt." I heard Sam listen to John.

"Wrong direction Sammy boy." I pulled the gun out of my pants while I stood up.

"So you planned to get the gun from us?" john stood up, facing me.

"no, I'll give it back once you guys are out of  here." I looked him in the eyes.

"She wouldn't hurt us, dad." I heard Dean speak from his spot near Sam.

"And how can we trust her?" venom leaked from the old man's words.

"Fine." I sighed, "Let's make a deal." I smiled at them.

"For what our souls, you might as well kill us now then." sam sounded angry

"No of course not. I'm a demon there for I have to keep the deals I make, I let you escape if you shoot me, not dead but in the shoulder."

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you guys, so I need to make it seem like you escaped on your own without my help."

"And you thought I wouldn't notice?" I heard crowly say from behind me.

"I'm not going to hurt them." I looked at him.

"No you were always too sensitive, it's the human in you." I threw the colt at Dee.

"And it what has kept me alive." I smile at him.

"It's what's going to kill you,"

"But you haven't killed me, I think that's your human side." he stepped in front of me.

"You better choose your next words very wisely," he advised

"If you wanted to kill you would have by know, face it. you care for me a little bit." he snapped his fingers and I was back in hell. in my room, well more like a holding cell.

"Argue with Crowley again?" a demon asked me from outside from my cell.

"Mmhmm." I slumped on the floor in the corner of the small cement room. just hoping that my brothers would come and save me this time.

[having-a-hyperfixate]

Secret Reports

Gonna just edit this thing and put line breaks as I get more of them.

I’m also working on the rest of the completion, and will probably wander off in the middle of this to do Another Day, which will probably have its own post. I fully expect that to be sheer madness. 

#1 So is it just me or is Mr H writing these reports to channel how extremely stressed he is. Cuz like. Mood. *gestures vaguely at blog* *gestures at this post specifically*

I. Hold up. Skeezy McFuckwad and Joshua did what resulting in which now. Excuse me. EXPLAIN!??! Joshua had a sneaky Game running with Skeezy that directly lead to Hazuki ordering Skeezy to destroy Shinjuku??? Is that what I am reading. Or possibly the order was already in the works, and then there was the Game, which ultimately just pushed that forward?? You can’t just say shit like that and not give details ffffffff.

 #2 Mr H having about as much contempt for Shinjuku rules as I do I feel seen haha. Bogus indeed. I can’t remember if I said it in one of my other posts, of if it was in a group chat, but I made a comment somewhere how this ruleset doesn’t seem to work with the stated purpose of the whole Reaper’s Game system. Sweet validation.

 #3 Not much to say except that if I had read this entire report when I actually got it, I would have been much more alarmed by all of the Replays Rindo has to do after that. I got it partway through week 3 but decided not to read it until I beat the game and then BAM it has this lovely tidbit about potentially being able to destroy the UG and RG.

 #4 So, the business that the fandom refers to as the Long Game is known in universe by the higher-ups and Shibuya’s impurification, because it didn’t get ‘purified’ like Shinjuku (I object to that term but ok).

“The hierarchical freeze presumably stems from opposition to the impurification”

Skeezy wasn’t reprimanded when he arrived in Shibuya “possibly because most Higher Plane denizens still oppose Shibuya’s impurification”

ExcUSE ME. I. WHAT. In one of the secret reports for the first game, Mr H says something about the way things turned out be an ‘ideal parallel world’ according to the Angels. I guess he only meant the ones who didn’t want the city destroyed holy shit. That most of them didn’t want Joshua to change his mind and STILL DON’T is so massively fucked up I can’t. Dear Higher Plane, what the actual, ever loving fuck.

-----------------

#5 One hundred and four Games under Shiba. That’s… so. many. teams. Holy shit. And the teams we knew had seen at LEAST 30 teams go. And the three teams we saw weren’t small. So many people…

Also, “Minamimoto seems to be plotting something” is the funnies thing I’ve read in ages OF COURSE HE IS that’s what he DOES. XD That was some mood whiplash.

#6 I was so hung up on the lack of entry fee for so long you don’t even know. Like. Those were so important in the first one it was baffling to me that Shinjuku rules didn’t have anything similar. And then eventually I just decided that the whole Game wasn’t being run correctly and Shiba was clearly after something other than driving the improvement that’s supposed to be the point.

I would like more explanation on this ‘Rindo’s stagnation makes him perfect for time travel thing’. I kind of understand how his reactions being consistent would be helpful in being able to control where the timeline goes (also I just realized this further confirms that Angels remember the other timelines glad I wasn’t imagining that the Prime days are a blur), but what does he mean about being able to maintain abnormally high levels of imagination? (It might tell me later so don’t say anything lol)

“I can only hope I’m not overthinking things.” Oh, you aren’t. If I’m understanding everything correctly, Skeezy actually had two proxies. And poor Rindo managed to end up being proxy for both sides at the same time which is. A mess.

 #7 Well, finally we know how Coco managed to get her hands on a taboo sigil. Plagiarism. Lmao. That at least makes sense and I can worry less about her being Something Else. I would like a word with whoever didn’t clean that up from Udagawa long enough for her to copy it though. That’s hilarious. Interesting that Mr H thinks it wasn’t a perfect recreation though, that something in him got changed. Once again, please elaborate. Please. *headdesk* What prompted Coco to just. Copy a taboo sigil though. Cuz that seems. Unusual.

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#8 Ok there’s a lot to unpack in this one. Namely, more Shinjuku rules. I would love to know if these are long standing rules or relatively recent. Cuz like. Did Shinjuku’s Game ever run in a way that would drive the kind of improvement that’s supposed to be the overall goal? Or has it always, or at least for a while now, been basically a meat grinder? The players that don’t clear that minimum bar probably just get erased outright, I would think. Actually, I’m confused. If normally, one team would get to leave and one team would be erased, wouldn’t that normally keep the average pretty level, so the Game would basically go on forever? Otherwise what do you do with all the other teams that are between first and last? I’m confused. It can’t be normal for teams to keep asking for more rounds. And what if the winning team says ‘everyone gets to go home’?

“The Conductor has yet to contact the Composer” and “it is possible he is unaware of the Higher Plane’s purification protocol.” I don’t know why, but I get the feeling these are important.

 #9 These secret reports are really driving at the whole ‘Rindo just goes with it’ thing, aren’t they. Like, that was his thing, right? He has trouble making definitive decisions? So his arc culminates in that moment in Udagawa where he tells Hazuki that he’s going to take the risk and go back one more time, where he’s making that decision purely for his own sake. And here Mr H seems to be saying that prodding Rindo down the road to character growth is going to be a lot harder than it was with Neku back in the day. Which makes sense, I think. Confronting someone with the concept that other people have value is a lot less complicated than trying to get them to not only make a firm decision, but to choose something that is purely because it’s what they want and need, not because someone else thinks they should.

It’s a little alarming that this report implies that if the pin wasn’t absorbing the Dissonance caused by the Replays, the UG and RG would already be having a bad time. Yikes. This is the report for day 2 of the second week. We haven’t even gotten into the crazy time travel yet.

Aaaaand #10 is for completing the social network, so I have to actually go do Another Day. I want to read these in order; it is much less confusing that way.

------------

#10 I really shouldn’t read these late at night with a possible migraine coming on, they’re already confusing enough. The bits that made sense: Uzuki was acting Conductor damn girl. (Did she have to deal with Joshua and was he in Dignified Mode or Being a Shit Mode because that’s possibly an oof.) I had assumed Shiba was Shinjuku’s Conductor and then just kinda took over after they moved in but apparently not? And RIP the actual Conductor, apparently. Weird that so many Reapers made it but the Conductor, who by all rights should have, didn’t.

I am slightly concerned by the fact that there’s standard procedure for obliterating a district. That’s. Alarming.

I don’t think page 4 is continuing the thought on page 3. Fucking. Stop that. Don’t just say a thing and then start talking about something else I would like EXPLANATIONS. UGH. “Almost” he says. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that almost is a big deal, so why don’t you tell me about it.

Four cases where a district got into trouble before a final decision on whether to reset or not was made. And one was the last game. I wonder if that means whatever was wrong that made Joshua want to destroy it, or if the ‘imbalance’ was all the madness that happened after he agreed to one final Game with Kitaniji and the left the UG. Cuz in one of the first set of secret reports, it says that with the Composer absent, the UG is starting to fall apart as the rules are no longer valid, or something like that. I would definitely call that an imbalance.

 #11 All I care about in this report is that Mr H wants to have a digital art bonding party with Kaie and that is so random why are you writing this down you absolute goober. The first page of this report is like ‘everyone is getting depressed’ and then just a wild left turn into dork-town. Lmao what.

-------------

#12 I don’t think Mr H knows at this point (you get this report for W2D5’s Boss Noise) that the Ruinbringers are all Reapers. He’s gonna be mad. He does know what Shoka is up to though. He’s worried. Aw.

 #13 It didn’t occur to me until this report hit me in the face with it, but they’ve set up a fantastic contrast between the two people Rindo knows from online. One is. not great, let’s say, because I did not take the reveal of Motoi’s true self well. The other is Shoka, and she’s a real friend. I now see what you did there. One relationship that’s a farce and one that really, really isn’t.

 #14 Me, out loud, at 1:30 in the damn a.m.: WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP.

If getting Tsugumi out of Mr Mew required an Angel, how in the hell did Shiki manage to…? What. I’m very confused.

Also damn, saving Tsugumi was so important that Shinjuku’s Conductor died for it. Did he know what she could do, the whole visions thing? Or maybe that something was wrong with Shiba and it would take someone like her to potentially stop him in the future?

I still would like to now how the hell Tsugumi got her hands on Mr Mew. Especially since its apparently the ORIGINAL Mr Mew and she seems to have had him during the inversion? What.

 #15 So… Inversions don’t always happen when a region is purified. I’m trying to wrap my brain around what a ‘complete loss of character’ in and area that’s had an Inversion could mean. Like… I think I get it, but my brain won’t make words, let alone sentences. Like when you go into a hotel room, and it doesn’t feel like a home, as opposed to when you go to a friend or family’s house, and it does? Kinda like that but it’s the whole district that’s just… blank? That’s kinda creepy.

If there are so many who think a ‘regular purification’ isn’t enough, the a) what does that even look like, b) is that what Joshua was going to do to Shibuya and c) is there an intermediate step between ‘normal’ and Inversion? I have been staring at this report for literally 15 minutes now.

 #16 “I wonder how [Shiba] will feel about all this after he is allowed to return to his former self.” Yuuuuuup. I still Do Not Like him, but dude was borderline mind controlled so like. Yeah. And I did get to kill him once, so. As long as he minds his business and isn’t a total dick from here on, whatever. It all just sucks.

*facepalm* Well at least we got to being suspicious of Replay eventually. Why did it take you this long Mr H. Though I do wonder what Rindo would have been able to do without the interference. He had to have some kind of latent skill for the pin to react to him, right? I’m now going in circles mentally trying to puzzle out if Replay is like, a leveled up version of whatever Rindo would have naturally had, and regardless, where exactly it came from. Because the only time I can think of when anyone had a chance to mess with the pin was when he didn’t catch it in the prologue. And I’m pretty sure it was Joshua who picked it up. Aaagh I’m giving myself a headache.

I find it hard to believe skeezy would just yeet a random time travel pin out into the world. That seems both dumb as fuck and inefficient.

 #17 “Some of them who know what I am occasionally try to contact me.” Lol so Kariya DOES know who Mr H is, I take it. Alright.

I’m having some kind of emotion that Wildkat still exists in a way for the Reapers, and that some of them still go there.

I just imagined Uzuki texting him like ‘plz make the Composer fucking do something kthx’ and I’ve got the giggles now oh dear

 #18 HA! I was right! Minamimoto WASN’T in control when he attacked us! ‘Distortions within himself’ though, that’s concerning. Does that have to do with how he’s come back from the dead twice now? And how Coco’s copy of the sigil was apparently imperfect?

 #19 I was about to say ‘who would target him for his abilities?’ and then my brain turned back on because duh. Shiba and them were looking hard for Neku, to the point that they flooded the RG with Player Pins in the hopes that he would pick one up and get sucked into the Game. A thing that occurred to me last night at 3:30 in the morning because I am a disaster: Mr H says that Minamimoto ‘seems different’. Neku says much the same thing after he comes back. So… Neku’s ability to Scan all the way down to someone’s Soul is potentially close to as sensitive as Mr H’s long distance ability. Which is a little insane. On top of the fact that he can use basically every psych imaginable no problem, survived a pact with a Composer for a full week, while said Composer was using crazy light beams which probably should have melted Neku from the feedback, and then almost singlehandedly defeated the Conductor while somehow inventing four-way fusion attacks. Kid is mad powerful. And he’s just a human. Like, the OG secret reports say that people always become dramatically stronger when they become Reapers. Reaper!Neku would be unstoppable.

“This would be much simpler if I could sit down and talk with him.” Okay, I laughed out loud. Like, loudly.

So… Shinjuku’s Composer… basically had his Conductor assassinated by skeezy. And because skeezy was messing with Shiba’s head, he could prompt Shiba to take the Reapers to Shibuya afterwards, to start doing it there too? Hazuki ordered Shinjuku’s purification so… Oh dear. I might have a few bones to pick with him.

 OH NO. OOOOOH. OH NOOOO. SHINJUKU’S CONDUCTOR. HE WAS TSUGUMI’S BROTHER OH MY GOD. That is fucking tragic what the fuck. What the FUCK. Okay several things make sense now but OH MY GOD FUCKING HELL I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. Shiki fixing Mr Mew allowed Tsugumi to free herself because her brother had already done part of the work, I take it? Along with us getting the Noise out of there? No wonder the Conductor stayed, he had to go get his sister… Shit, man.

 …… Did Coco steal Mr Mew and take him to Shinjuku?????

----------------------------

#21 isn’t very interesting, just a rehash of stuff we already knew.

#22 Okay Haz IS Shinjuku’s Composer. What. Why? I’m. So confused. Why would he intercede on our behalf, and why NOW? He was happy to throw his own city away, but stepped in to stop skeezy in Shibuya? And then tried to put it back together, and when Rindo was miserable he came to try to understand why. And then cajoled Rindo into having a breakthrough in his Character Development to boot.

Mr H says he has an idea why Haz did all this. And then doesn’t fucking say it because OF COURSE. *headdesk* That gets really old really fast, game.

I’m now running through The Last Day’’ to get the final two reports and this entire section with Haz is somehow even more confusing with context. God damn it Nomura.

 #23 Even after he said we were on our on this time, he forced the Soul Pulvis to reform as Pheonix Cantus to make it easier for us to fight? Bro. What. Are all Composers just… walking contradictions? Aiya.

Shoutout to emotional support Joshua at the end there lol. I remember half-hysterically thinking ‘what are you just here for moral support?’ but ok. And I mean, it did work, Neku did manage to do the thing, so. *sigh* Speaking of, it is ABSOLUTELY INSANE that Neku manage to sync with the entire city without his brain melting. Remember at the beginning of the first game when he scans for the first time and has a massive sensory overload? Look at my boy, all grown up.

 #24 Holy shit world building on how exactly people come back to life without everyone freaking out. I never thought I would see the day.

I still have so many questions but that was always going to be the case. The first game had so many things it left open as well. Agh. Time to start wearing new holes in my brain overthinking things.

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (18/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/n: Thank you all for being so incredibly kind to me all of the time! You don’t have to do that, and I can’t thank you enough! We’re back from London in this chapter, and they’re having that “sleepover” that was talked about. In a totally not cheesy (or at least my tolerable amount of cheesy) way ❤️

Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for beta-ing, and @carpedzem​, I think you might like this one! 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings

-/-

“I have four days off of work, and I feel like you.”

Emma sighs the words as she drops a bag in the entryway of Killian’s apartment, the black and white bag making a small thud against the hardwood. He’s got absolutely no idea what she has in there, but it sounds like every book she’s ever owned plus a brick or two that she somehow picked up on her subway ride over here.

Killian fakes a laugh, rolling his eyes a bit as Emma walks up to him and wraps her hands around the back of his neck, pressing up on her toes to gently brush her lips over his in greeting.

“You’re so funny,” he says sarcastically. “You know for a fact what I do on my days where I’m not pitching. I work a solid two hours a day on all of those days.”

Emma hums as her fingers curl into the back of his hair, and he can practically see the mischief dancing in her eyes. “You poor, hard-working man. I don’t know how you do that.”

“I put one pant leg on at a time like everyone else in the world.”

“You are basically a hero.”

“I definitely think I have a mark in a hero column.” Killian dips his head to run his lips over hers again in a better greeting than the one they just had. “I’m happy you have four days off. Whatever are you going to do with them?”

“Tonight, I was promised a sleepover with my boyfriend where he’s going to bake for me. Tomorrow, I think I’m going to go hang out with my nephew and take him outside to sweat it out in this insufferable July heat, and then for the next two days – who knows? I think I might just sleep while you spend your days exercising and suffering outside.”

“I am particularly interested in the activities you’re going to do on the first day.”

“I thought you would be. Can I take a shower first, though? I went to spin class with Ruby this morning, and I feel super gross.”

“I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything about the smell but – ”

Emma slaps his chest and laughs before baking away, a smile on her face. “Shut up, you ass. I’m finally going to go see what kind of shampoo it is that you use to make your hair soft and smell so good. You can learn a lot about a man from his shower.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to join you, love? It feels wrong that you’re seeing my bedroom and bathroom for the first time without me.”

“Oh no, it’s awesome. Like I said,” Emma sighs as she picks up her bag supposedly full of books and bricks, “I’m about to snoop. Be back in however much time it takes me to go through your stuff.”

“The hot water twists to the right,” he yells at her before picking up his mug of coffee and taking a sip, laughing under his breath at Emma.

Ridiculous woman who he loves.

So much.

Every part of him wants to tell her, wants to say the words out loud so that she knows just what she means to him, but he’s still biting his tongue. He thinks Emma might love him too, that she might be in the same place emotionally, but he doesn’t know. There have been moments in the past week where he thinks maybe just maybe she’s going to say something, but then she’ll change the subject or smile at him and he’ll know that the words aren’t coming.

Emma’s been burned so badly in her past, from her parents to her exes to the assholes she works with, and he’s still so amazed that their relationship is going so well. They very obviously had a rocky start, but the faith and trust that he has in her and that she has in him to share the depths of her heart astounds him.

This is – this is everything that he never thought he’d have again, and he keeps telling himself to calm down in his future thoughts because it’s still so soon.

When has his timing ever matched up with conventional standards?

But she makes him so incredibly happy, and even when they get into little arguments, he’s glad to be having those. Weirdly, he missed them. He missed having someone to debate dinner plans with and to have to schedule time to spend with and all of those other little things.

Emma was so good with his nieces in London last week too. He knew that she would be since she has so much experience with Leo, but it was refreshing to see how taken she was with Addy and Lucy. Or really, how taken Addy and Lucy were with her. Killian knew that asking her to come to Addison’s birthday party was a bit of a gamble that she likely wouldn’t take him up on, but he’s so glad that she did. Watching her walk around the room in that yellow dress effortlessly talking to his family was absolutely everything to him.

Logically, he knows that once they decide to share that they’re dating with those closest to them, Emma’s going to have to do some kind of reintroduction to the family, and he hopes that it goes well then too, that no one is mad at them for hiding such a big thing right under their noses.

That’s not going to happen. It simply won’t.

Elsa and the girls had nothing but nice things to say about Emma after that day, especially when the girls kept trying to sit next to her on the plane ride home, and all Liam did was tease him about asking her out and how she must be the most forgiving woman on the planet.

She must be.

Killian can hear the water run through the pipes to the shower in his bathroom, and since he heard no screaming, he assumes Emma figured out how the shower works well enough on her own. So, he opens his fridge and starts pulling out the ingredients he needs today. He had to go grocery shopping this morning, which was a bit of an ordeal since he had no idea what he was shopping for, and he feels like his fridge is stocked with food to make enough baked goods to stock one of those insane sales that Addy and Lucy have at their school every few months.

How much money can they really raise through selling baked goods? Donating money would likely be more effective, but he is very obviously not on a PTA board.

But he told Emma that he would bake for her one of these days, or really, that he would bake with  her, and he’ll be damned if they don’t finally do that today. He swears that things keep getting more and more hectic lately in between traveling for work and then doing actual work, and they never get a moment to just breathe and be in each other’s company.

Or talk.

They have a hell of a lot to talk about as well, and there never seems to be time. Hence why they’ve been home from London for over a week and still haven’t been able to talk about telling their friends and family.

What is life going to look like during the off-season? He wants to imagine, but he can’t. Not quite yet. That’s getting ahead of himself once more.

As the water in the bathroom runs, he starts mixing the ingredients for the crust of the strawberry lemonade bars they’re going to make. He knows that Emma is a bigger fan of chocolate while he is not, and on another day, they’ll do something more up her alley. He’s got things for smores, mostly as a joke, and he imagines she wouldn’t mind simply eating the chocolate bars.

The water turns off in the bathroom, and yet twenty minutes later, Emma still hasn’t emerged from his bedroom. Curious, he puts the whisk he’s using down and wanders back down the hallway to his bedroom, his door open so that he can see Emma sitting on his bed with a brush in hand as she works at a tangle in her damp hair, gaze focused out of one of floor-to-ceiling windows to the city skyline below.

“Hey.”

Her head twists toward him, a soft smile curved on her lips.

“Hey,” she smiles, tugging at her brush, “you have a super nice shower, and I’m totally going to utilize that more often. Also, your bed is comfortable, and it is a shame we have never used it before. Like, I love your couch a lot and the times we have had on it, but I think the bed may win.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing in here this entire time? Thinking about my bed?”

“Yep. I wasn’t really going to snoop. That’s weird. I just wanted to make sure your bed was comfortable, and I was right.”

Killian chuckles under his breath as he steps further into the room and bends his knees to brush a kiss across her temple. “I wouldn’t have minded if you snooped. There’s nothing to hide in here.” She arches a brow. “Really? You don’t have some kind of super weird shrine of me hidden in your closet?”

“Hmmm, no. I have one of Erin Andrews though. She’s my favorite blonde sportscaster.”

“You’re the worst,” Emma groans even as a chuckle passes through her lips. She tosses her brush behind her, letting it bounce on the mattress, before falling back onto the mattress herself. It’s then that he notices she’s wearing a matching set of pajamas, pink and white striped shorts with a button down with the same pattern. “Your jokes are not homeruns today.”

“Yours aren’t either, darling,” he sighs before sitting down next to her and running his hands up her inner thigh before messing with the hem of her shorts. “Did you bring matching pajamas simply to mess with me?”

Her head pops up to look at him, golden hair darkened by the water and her face bare of makeup. “Yep. You said we were having a sleepover, and I am taking you to your word. If it makes you feel less like we’re teenagers, though, I do not have a bra on under this shirt.”

“Really now?” he growls, twisting on the bed and crawling toward her, his mouth hovering over hers as his hand snakes up underneath her shirt to feel the soft skin and the very obvious lack of a bra covering her breast as he flicks his fingers over her nipple. “Ah, you weren’t lying then.”

“I tend to like to tell the truth.”

“That’s good. Me too.”

His tongue slides into the warm heat of her mouth as Emma gasps beneath him, her hips arching up while her mouth explores his even though she’s most definitely already got it mapped out. It’s as intoxicating as ever to kiss Emma, to glide and nip and tease as arousal tricks down to the base of his spine and his groin. This is not at all what he came into his bedroom for, but intentions were very literally left at the door now that he’s teasing her breast and tangling his tongue with hers in a passionate slide.

It’s quick as he unbuttons the buttons on Emma’s shirt, quicker still as she pushes him onto his back and slides his joggers off of his legs so that she can bite at the skin at his hip, nibbling a bruise into his skin that he’s sure will be there for days. There’s no time to worry about that, though, because then Emma’s hand is settling at the base of his length while her mouth settles around the tip, and he nearly implodes right then and there.

Fucking glorious.

And he tells her so in a stuttered breath, one that he can barely catch from the way that she’s working him higher and higher. His hips arch up off the bed when she hums around him, and his head presses back into his pillow while his eyes shut. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t…and then the heat of Emma’s mouth is gone, and his eyes open as his heart wildly pounds in his chest. He’s just about to ask if she’s okay and then if she is, what the hell is she doing, but then he watches her slide a condom down his shaft before she settles over him and sinks down onto him so that he can feel the most glorious heat of all.

“Holy fuck,” he mutters, reaching forward to grab onto her hips, holding on tightly enough that his fingerprints might as well be inked into her skin. “How many times do I have to tell you, love, that you’re going to be the death of me?”

Emma rocks above him, her still-damp hair falling down her back as she arches it. “A few more times, at least. Or until you die.”

“I love that you can be so morbid in a moment like this.”

“I, ah, I try.”

As much as Killian wants to thrust up into her, to control the movements and the pace, he lets Emma do just that as he watches her move above him in what is very well the most glorious sight he’s ever seen. He can turn his head to either the right and see a skyline of Manhattan that looks out onto Central Park, but nothing can compare to this. Not the view from his bedroom or the view of miles and miles of ocean stretching out ahead of him with the sun beating down on his back.

Not even the view of thousands of people cheering for him in the stands.

Nothing compares to Emma.

The muscles in her thighs flex as she continues to move, her hands curled into the hair of his chest and pulling at him, and he can see sweat beading at her forehead. He imagines that later she’ll complain about how she just showered, how she was already sore from going to spin class, but there are no complaints now as his orgasm rolls in on a slow motion that has him cursing Emma’s name instead of confessing his love for her.

That may very well be the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, but thankfully he could focus on his own falling apart and then Emma’s, her orgasm coming to her with her flushed cheeks and parted lips.

That’s another glorious sight right there. They seem to be never ending.

“Just for the record,” Emma sighs several minutes later when they’ve cleaned themselves up and changed back into clothes, “that was not my intention for this morning.”

Killian cocks a brow and moves to cross his arms behind his head from where he’s propped up in bed, a sated smile on his face. “Am I simply that irresistible to you?”

“You smelled really good, so obviously I just had to fuck you.”

“Oh, well, of course.”

Emma giggles against his shoulder before looking up at him and brushing her lips over the corner of his mouth. “And maybe. I feel like I can’t tell you that you’re irresistible because then I’ll inflate your ego too much.”

“Ah yes. That could be an issue.”

Emma opens her mouth to say something, and he feels his stomach twist in anticipation only for Emma’s stomach to audibly growl. “I feel like now would be a good time to get that baking done.”

“Oh shit,” he curses, gently moving Emma off of him so that he can get up from bed, “I left the ingredients out on the counter before I came in here. They’re not supposed to sit out that long.”

-/-

“You’ve got a little something on your cheek, love,” Killian teases as the two of them stand in his kitchen, his countertops covered in bowls and pans with cartons and bags left open. It’s far from the tidiness that he usually keeps, but no part of him minds this morning as he and Emma get more time together.

Emma scrunches up her nose in response, reaching her hand up to wipe at her face on both sides and only managing to get flyaway hairs from her still-damp braid stuck to her cheek.

“Did I get it?”

“No,” he lies, squinting his eyes so that he can focus in on her face just that little bit more. How is he so enamored with those freckles? “On your left cheek, Swan. Right in the middle.”

She huffs with a slight roll of her eyes before raising her hand and rubbing at her cheek while he reaches into the bowl of icing for their strawberry lemonade bars they’re (mostly him) making and swipes his finger through the cream before running his finger down Emma’s cheek as her lips part and her eyes quickly blink up at him.

“Did you just make up me having something on my cheek so that you could put icing there?”

“Yep.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“You’re calling me that a lot today.”

“Yeah, well,” she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest as the pout that’s on her face begins crack, the corner of her mouth ticking up the slightest bit on the right, “you are being one.”

“Hey, love?” he asks, knowing that he’s about to start truly pissing her off, “you have a little something on your cheek. You should probably get that.”

If her eyes could roll to the back of her head, they would, and while Emma says that he’s the one without a great poker face, she doesn’t have too great of one right now either. She uncrosses her arms, and she looks like she’s going to wipe at the stripe of icing that’s on her cheek, but at the last minute, she lunges for the bowl only for him to grab her wrists and pull her arms upwards so that she can’t get the icing.

“Asshole,” Emma repeats while he laughs, nudging her knee away from his so that they can move out of the kitchen. Or at least a little. He’s pretty sure that Emma has her knees locked so that she won’t move. “You can’t just put icing on my face and not give me the opportunity to do the same to you.”

The words “love isn’t fair” almost escape his lips, but he bites his tongue, one particular word in that sentence not something he can say unless he’s calling Emma “love.” Even that sometimes seems risky, but it’s as natural as saying her name.

“Maybe later,” he falsely sighs, dipping his head to brush his lips over her cheek so that he can taste the icing that resides there, a sweet taste of strawberry. “You’re sweet.”

“You’re cheesy.”

“I don’t think I’m covered in cheese.”

“Oh my gosh,” Emma groans, leaning forward so that her forehead presses into his chest, her laugh loud enough so that he can feel the vibrations of it. “I cannot believe that I’m actively choosing to date you.”

“Trust me, darling, I ask myself why you’re dating me every single day.”

“As you should.”

They eventually get back to actually baking, the two of them working in companionable silence even though he keeps having to tell Emma to keep going on mixing the batter. She wants to use a mixer, which is fine most of the time, but this is always better if it’s done by hand. Emma is not a baker in the slightest, and while he knew that, it does surprise him the slightest bit when she asks questions that he thinks most people know the answer to. Then again, she never had someone to teach her to cook or bake or any basic life skills, which is probably why she loves grilled cheese sandwiches and other simple foods like that. They were something she could teach herself.

Liam taught him how to cook. Brennan never cared enough to.

But then again, past the knowledge that Liam gave him and that he learned from watching the Cooking Channel, he’d know nothing about baking if it wasn’t for the accident and his broken arm and torn rotator cuff. Almost instinctively, he rolls his shoulders back and begins stretching his right arm to loosen it up. It’s felt fine the past few days, but he felt a slight pull in it late last night and is hoping that it’s not going to start acting up again. He knows that his injury is most likely going to have a permanent effect on him, but like always, some days are better than others. And he’s doing everything to prevent it. He honestly doesn’t know what he’d do if presented with another long injury lay-off. Would he even have the motivation to try to come back?

That’s not a thought that he wants to have.

So, he doesn’t. He goes back to telling Emma about his day yesterday and how well he thinks the team is going to do for the rest of the season. His confidence with his arm may fluctuate, but his confidence with the team does not. They’re playing damn well this season, better even than last season, and he can’t help but hope that they’re going to be standing on the field as winners at the last game of the season.

Getting ahead of himself. He’s got to stop doing that.

“Yeah, well, if that happens, you still can’t ask me out on air,” Emma teases, bumping her hip into his while she pours the batter into the pan.

“Swan, we’ve very much established that only you ask me out in this relationship.”

“Exactly. I’m obviously the person who always makes the big moves.”

Killian shakes his head before kissing to top of her head and turning around to put the tray into his oven, closing the door and setting a timer for thirty minutes on his phone. He and Emma settle down onto his couch, Emma throwing her legs over his lap and stretching her arm over his shoulder while his hand settles on her inner thigh. It’s comfortable, relaxed, and he could fall asleep with the way the sun is softly coming through his windows and the television is playing quietly in the background.

But he doesn’t. Mostly because Emma starts talking.

“So, we need to talk.”

His head twists toward her so that he can look in her eyes. “I feel like that’s something you’ve said before.”

“Funny,” Emma laughs, nibbling on her bottom lip, “because I have, and we’re about to have the same conversation.”

A sigh passes through his lips as his mind connects the dots. “Ah, well, what is it you want to say? I figure you have an itemized list in that head since you’re the one who brought it up.”

“It’s not itemized, per say. It’s just kind of there all mixed around.” Her free hand moves as she says this, and she sinks a little further into the couch, splaying her legs out over him even more. It’s the most comfortable and awkward he thinks she’s ever looked in his presence. “I’m…it’s hard, okay. Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing,” he says even as he laughs, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip while Emma glares up at him. “Okay, okay. You’re just so flustered, and it’s adorable.”

“How do we ever have serious conversations?”

“Usually we’re in a hotel bed.”

“Damn, you’re right. I’d say we go back to your bed, but I feel like I’ll get distracted by how soft your sheets are.”

“Oh, and not by me?”

“Nope,” Emma chuckles, bopping his nose, “not at all.”

His hand taps at her hip, fingers curling up underneath her top so that he can pinch the skin on her stomach. “Share what’s on your mind, darling.”

She sighs, her lashes fluttering closed against cheeks.

“So, I really, really want to tell people about you and me. I want to be able to not have to lie to Ruby about where I’ve been or not be able to tell David and Mary Margaret what’s going on in my life. And I want you to be able to tell Liam and Elsa. I don’t want to go to any other parties where I just happen to be there and have to act like I don’t’ know all of this information about your family. But then it’s just so complicated because, like, what about your team? Obviously, we can’t tell everyone, but you probably want to tell Robin and Will, maybe even Eric. And telling Eric means telling Ariel, probably Belle too, and then it’s just this wide web of people who know and can’t say anything. And it really doesn’t change how we spend our time together except adding a few apartments for us to hang out in. By the way, there’s a dude with a camera hanging out outside the apartment building, and I had to wait for him to leave his spot to come inside. So, there’s that too.”

Emma just spewed a couple hundred words at him in what must have been a singular breath, and he feels like he’s whiplashed as he tries to work through them all and pick exactly where he needs to start.

Damn, okay. This is complicated. This is all so complicated, and it’s very much his fault for his actions of nearly a year ago. There are other factors and complications, and while yes, the two of them could very much say that they’re dating and be able to live their lives more freely, they both know that it’ll be easier to possibly share once the season is over. It’ll make Emma’s life and job less complicated and while things are obviously going well, those few extra months will make it easier for them to actually know what they’re doing here.

“Okay,” Killian finally sighs, figuring he might as well take it item by item, “so first of all, I can get you a key to the back entrance so you don’t have to deal with the occasional obnoxious paparazzi who obviously don’t know that I’m not that interesting. I should have already done that, but I felt like that would be a bit presumptuous.”

“Yeah, I would have freaked the fuck out.”

“You’re not doing that right now?”

She shrugs. “Only a little.”

“So that’s one problem solved,” he sighs, tapping one finger against her stomach for emphasis. “Next, when you go home tomorrow, I want you to tell Ruby and Graham, okay? That’s going to be step one, and I’d honestly really like to come over and see your apartment and meet them. The same goes with David and Mary Margaret and even Ruth. Those people are all your family, and if you want to share that you have the most handsome lover in all of New York, I want you to do that.”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to tell Ruth and David. I’m going to call you my lover and see which one freaks out more. I bet David asks me for sex details.”

“Swan,” he groans as his head leans against the top of his couch, his lips curling into a smile, “that sounds like a good way for me to get murdered.”

“David is not that scary.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve found that no matter how progressive the world gets, older brothers tend to be far too protective, and no offense, but David is that type. I bet when we meet that he’ll squeeze my hand far too tightly in the handshake.”

“I hate that you’re right about that.”

“Exactly. But we’re clear on that. You tell your family, and I will tell mine. We’ll both make it clear that this doesn’t get out, and since we trust them, we know they’re going to respect that, yeah? And just so you know, I guarantee that Liam is going to insist on meeting you again and pull all of that older brother shit too.”

“Maybe we should just let he and David hash it out.”

“That’s exactly what we should do,” Killian chuckles as his phone starts to buzz, the timer for the oven going off. Emma’s legs slide off of him for him to stand from the couch and walk to the kitchen, grabbing two oven mitts to remove the hot pan and place it on the burners. “But seriously. We take this slow, okay? I know that I’m going to tell Liam and Elsa first, and you’ll likely tell Ruby first. And if it goes well, we take baby steps to move onto other people.”

“Are they going to totally hate us for keeping this a secret from them?”

“Maybe but not once they see how happy we are.”

Emma stands from the couch and walks over to him in the kitchen, leaning over his island to eye the cooling lemonade bars. “So, when are we going to be able to eat those?”

“In about an hour, so you have to be patient.”

“I’ve never been particularly good at that.”

-/-

Walking around the apartment, Killian starts opening up curtains to let the florescent lights of the city in, his bedroom painted in a soft glow of red and greens and yellows. The only light he has on in his bedroom is from the television, so he keeps seeing Emma’s features in flashes. It’s likely the laziest day he’s had in years, and while they did hash out details of letting their under-wraps relationship be a little more public, most of their day has been spent in bed exploring each other or watching Netflix and eating their baked goods and the pizza that he ordered. He knows that he and Emma teased each other about this being a sleepover when they’re both grown adults who are dating and not teenagers who are spending the night at their friend’s house, but they’re somehow falling into all of the stereotypes they teased each other about.

The glass of rum he’s had and the glass of wine Emma’s nursing surely help.

Maybe a little bit of boredom too.

“Truth,” Emma says flatly, pulling his comforter further up over her lap.

“Hmm,” he hums while he makes his way back to the bed, crawling under the covers and shifting to run his legs over Emma’s so that he can feel her smooth skin, “tell me the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“My boyfriend asked me out on TV.”

“Is that your serious answer?”

“Yep.” Emma twists in the bed and scoots down further under the covers, her blonde hair still twisted into a braid, but a lot of the front pieces have fallen out and are landing on her bare shoulders. “That’s what I’m sticking with for now. It’s your turn. Truth or dare.”

“I feel ridiculous playing this game.”

“But it’s fun.”

“Aye,” he laughs, reaching over to grab her hand and tangle their fingers together before resting their hands in the small space between them. “Truth.”

Emma’s eyes close as she thinks, her lips pursing, and he’s got absolutely no clue what’s about to come out of her mouth. “What is your least favorite thing about me?”

“Damn, Swan, that’s dirty.”

“Usually you like that.”

“Different kind of dirty. Um – ” Killian clicks his tongue as his mind runs through a short list of things that annoy him about Emma as he tries to think of something that won’t get Emma truly pissed at him. “I don’t like how difficult it is to get you to answer the phone.”

“That’s a copout.”

“So was your last answer.”

“Fine. I’ll accept it. Dare.”

“Kiss me.”

Emma rolls her eyes right after he says the words, but she still presses forward to briefly brush her lips over his, a soft, slow kiss that has his body aching for more. But Emma pulls back before he can deepen the kiss, and he’s left with the feel of her lips on his.

“That was also a copout,” she murmurs as her hands reach down to pull the covers all the way up over her shoulders, her breasts disappearing from sight. “Truth.”

“Tell me your absolute favorite movie.”

“The Princess Bride. Feel free to quote it with me any time, and I will quote it right back.”

“As you wish.”

Emma’s eyes widen and her lips part at his words, and earlier he should have said that his least favorite thing about Emma is how hard it is for him to read her even when she’s an open book to him. But an open book half printed in code where he partially knows what’s going on but can’t quite decipher the rest.

“Your turn,” Emma whispers, snuggling further into the pillow. If he doesn’t watch out, she’s going to take his pillow home with her like she did his Vandy sweatshirt.

“Truth.”

“If you could talk to your dad again, would you?”

It’s a question out of nowhere, one he wasn’t expecting, and as much as it makes his blood boil to even think of his dad, he doesn’t mind being open like this with Emma, not when she squeezes his hand to reassure him and looks at him with green eyes that might as well hold the stars for all the light overshadowing the darkness that he sees in them.

“No,” he answers immediately before biting his tongue. “Maybe, but only to tell him how much he’s screwed up my life. I don’t – I believe in forgiveness and learning from your mistakes. I would be nothing without all of that, but I – a dad should love his kids and be there for them no matter what, not on the condition of how well one of them is playing baseball. I know that if I ever have kids, I want them to feel everything that I didn’t at home. I want to be more like my mom in all of the love that she showed, you know?”

Emma doesn’t say anything then, but she does release his hand to reach forward and grab the chain around his neck, letting his mom’s ring fall into her palm. “You’re a good man, you know that, twenty-nine?”

“Eh.”

“You are. I promise.”

Emma moves across the bed so that she can wrap her arm around his waist, simply sitting still with him in the quietness of the room as sirens and car horns blare outside, the life outside the city continuously moving as they stay still, reveling in the silence of the cocoon of his bedroom and not letting the outside world get to them. This has been one of his favorite days this year, which is saying a lot when he’s had so many that have already meant the world to him. He doesn’t know how it could get better.

Lips brush across the muscles on his stomach, soft and gentle and everything that Emma can be. “Killian?”

“Yeah, love?” he mumbles, absentmindedly running his fingers up and down the smooth expanse of her back.

“Dare me to do something bold.”

He chuckles, not entirely sure where this is coming from, but he does what she says anyways. “Emma, love, do something bold.”

Her intake of breath is something that he feels against his chest before she says, “I love you.”

[nemobookaholic]

What if ...

Loki where a 21st century woman?

Part 2

Scene 8

Back at home, we enter a room where Kevin and Loki are sitting face to face. As Kevin had said, an hour a day - now we know he meant it. Yet, just because he looks like an Irish leprechaun, it doesn’t mean he has the same wit. Indeed we can assume that he has inherited more but the ginger hair. Loki seems like she’d figured it out already, according to her staring. It’s like the game we all played as kids. A staring contest, losers gonna look away first. Both of them want to be at the winning side. We start to wonder what kind of therapeutic use this game shall have, as Kevin breaks the silence, not looking away of course.

‘You really think that you are Loki of Asgard?’

‘I do not think so. I know who I am!’

Not the best opening line for a therapist. Here we see the trainee.

‘Good… had you ever the desire to — well, use the boy’s bathroom, or play with cars instead of dolls?’

We move our angle, so we can see what Kevin writes down on his notepad.

‘Seriously? That is what you want to know? — To be honest I was thought to play with knives and illusions, as well as with my brothers foolishness. Trust me, gender never was a big deal for me. I can be whatever I want to,’ Lokis boasts.

° narcissism

° dissociative identity disorder

° a lot of anger/rage

Is what we can read by now. Dr. Freud might had added hysteria.

‘Tell me about your brother,’ is Kevins next question.

‘I would not know why,’ Loki appeals stubborn.

‘We have a deal, remember?’

‘I don’t see any sense in it, as you obviously don’t believe me, but here you go. Thor, god of thunder. Not the brightest glowing candle. Likes his hammer… a lot. Future king of Asgard, if you’d ask him. Has a soft spot for Midgard. I came here to say hello,’ she’s checking on her fingernails while speaking.

‘To me it sounds like there is a rivalry between you and your brother?’ for a second we catch discomfort in Lokis eyes.

‘He’s not my real brother. It’s not that long ago when I was told, I am adopted.’

‘Who told you so?’

‘My fa…, Odin. He promised me a throne! Just to tell me, that I was nothing more than a hostage.’

°daddy issues

Kevins pen is wandering on the paper.

‘Tell me about your mum.’

‘She’s kind an loving. I’m afraid, I might never see her again, only in my dreams.’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Never mind! There is witchcraft, even in dreams. You would not understand. — By the way, how come this reality is blocking out almost every magic?’ Loki’s time for questions.

‘Honestly? As you really seem to believe it, I have some bad news for you: There is no magic, and no gods or stuff like that. Most of us, including me, don’t believe in sorcery or different realms. I’m sorry to disappoint you.’

We don’t fail to notice how Kevin is struggling, to take the topic serious. Meanwhile Loki has an enlightening moment.

‘That must be part of the problem! People don’t believe…,’ she mumbles to herself. Aloud she says, ‘tell me about your world, please. I know a bit from Barton but me seems this one is unlike his. What is the history of this country for instance?’ Lokis eyes are glowing.

‘Are you kidding me? — You don’t know?’ Kevin looks puzzled.

‘Would I ask otherwise?’ annoyance is speaking out of her voice.

Kevin starts a lesson in english history. Loki is rather interested in the war of the roses and the Tudor King. We start to get a bad feeling, that this might won’t end well; with her question, ‘you are saying, England has never grown out of monarchy and is ruled by a Queen until today?!’

‘Yes and a King, - people always seem to forget about him, poor guy,’ Kevin sights.

‘Tell me everything about them!’ there is a lot of motivation in Loki’s behaviour now.

‘I think that’s enough for today. I’m not that interested into royal gossip, - if you want to know more, you can look it up on the internet, or go to the library,’ he sounds tired.

We suspect that this session didn’t proceed as planed. He has our empathy, cause he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Or at least he doesn’t believe it. Not all of us would, but we have the benefit of knowing Loki, and we are just observer. We should feel sorry for Kevin, as he doesn’t realise what Loki’s mind is wandering of to. We remember well, how much Loki desires a throne. Not that she didn’t mention it while talking about Odin.

‘The leprechaun showed me how to use this thing called internet. I’m impressed! I had known that it could be a useful weapon, yet I had no clue how much. It’s like an addiction, all those informations. Makes it a pushover to take over this kingdom! Ehehehehe. I read on, a plan is growing, I like how it sparkles. The discovery of the actual age, of the monarchs, makes it even better. Their son isn’t that much younger. To my satisfaction, there are two princes next in row, to follow the crown. Not the baddest idea to become a woman. Nothing is going to stop me!

‘Helloho! I’m talking to you, freak. Stop that creepy laughing and help me to cook dinner, would you?! If you want to share our home, you can do something for it. Maybe Kevin is alright with you behaving like the Queen of England, well I’ll tell you something, I ain’t!’ the warrior has her hands pressed to her hips and usually I wouldn’t give much about her complaining, but for the sake of learning from them, I follow her into the kitchen.’

Scene 9

Picturing Loki and Beatrix in the kitchen, we feel a little smile stealing onto our faces. The idea, of Loki doing the cooking, is hilarious. Beatrix commanding her, comes close to a catastrophe and is a test for Loki’s self-control.

Let’s get a bit closer and listen to their conversation, shall we?

‘Did you never cut a tomato?’ we hear Bea.

‘Not with a dull knife. If you would have let me use my dagger, I would have been faster!’ Loki mutters.

‘Yeah, as if this dirty piece, wherever you hide it, was made to cut vegetables with. I don’t like to imagine your family dinners,’ Bea folds her arms, waiting for Loki to get the veggies ready.

‘Sure, the are awkward. I have to approve, you are right. The dagger was made to cut into meat,’ Loki let the knife run through her fingers, staring at Bea in disgust.

‘Sorry to disappoint you missy, but one of our rules is: No meat for dinner, nor in this kitchen. I am vegan and no dead animals will cross our door!’ Bea turns around to light the gas of the stove.

‘Who said I was talking about animals?!’ Loki mutters to herself.

‘What?’ Bea turns around with a pan in her hand, pointing it at the other girl.

‘Nothing. I’m done with the vegetables, what’s next?’ Loki grins, swirling the knife again.

‘Would you please stop?!’ she points a finger at Lokis hand, ‘it’s a bit dangerous, don’t you think?’

‘What, the knife?’ she looks at it impenitently, ‘not really, unless I decide it should.’ Loki grins again. Annoying Bea, gives her satisfaction.

The girl, almost done with her nerves by now, tries to take away the sharp object from her reckless flatmate. Unfortunately, Loki is a lot taller and has enough strength back, to use her magic pockets. What makes the knife disappear every time Bea comes close.

‘What are you, David Copperfield for the poor? Hand me the bloody knife, or I swear I’ll…,’ she doesn’t come any further as Kevin enters the room, in the exact moment things almost escalated.

‘I see you start to get along a bit better?’ he smiles naively. We start to wonder how he will ever be a psychologist? Maybe he just picked the wrong job?

From Lokis face we capture a innocent, but satisfied look into Kevins direction, as Beatrix let go of her to roast the vegetables.

‘Veggies again, … what are you cooking love?’ Kevin steps closer to see what is in the pan.

‘Rice with tomato, carrots and peas,’ Bea lists the ingredients.

‘Delicious, can’t wait for it,’ he rolls his eyes behind her back, ‘I’ll cook something proper when she has her night out,’ he whispers into Lokis ear, while handing her a towel. For a second she stands there holding it, not sure what Kevin wants. Soon enough she figures, he wants to do the dishes while Bea is busy at the stove. We might make a guess, that Kevin is frightened of his friend, when she’s in such a mood. Or maybe we have to admit, that he is more cunning than anyone could tell.

‘The food that the warrior princess has cooked, isn’t as bad as I’d expected. Not that I would tell her. She’s a ghastly person. I’ll have to tolerate it, until I’ve found a way into Buckingham palace. For now I can have my fun with both of them. Nonetheless I’ll have to keep an eye on Kevin. He hasn’t shown all his cards yet, I can sense it. Plus I’m unsure if I can trust him.

Anyway, it’s exhausting with them.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough rest, but I’m dead tired. All I want to do, is to lie down and think of a plan, to infiltrate the royal family. To my disappointment, we have to do the dishes — again! For the warrior has done the cooking. Not enough that she forced me to help her with it.

‘Are we done now? I’m tired,’ I tell the leprechaun after the last, clean fork.

‘Sure, but don’t you want to join us? We have our movie night. Could be a good chance to get to know each other better,’ he shows me those puppy eyes. Something in them beg me to join, I can’t help myself.

‘Fine. If it’s that important to you,’ I sigh.

Plans can wait until tomorrow, I guess. Let’s see what kind of pleasures a movie night might bring.

‘Yay! I’ll make popcorn and get everything ready. Do you want to take a shower in the meantime?’

That’s a good idea. It has been a long time since water has seen my body. A short sniff approves my misgiving. I smell.

The ginger almost pushes me into the bathroom, while explaining everything. He hands me fresh clothes and faster than I can soak in all informations, he has left. I’m alone in the middle of the tiny room. The only space, to place my wardrobe, is the toilet seat or optional, the ground. I have to make a sacrifice, fresh clothes onto the toilet, the stuff I’m wearing onto the ground. I can’t wait to feel the water refreshing me. The only thing that keeps me away from it, is the bloody bra! What kind of sadistic person has invented this fastener?

Probably one of the torturers from Hel.

The quiet ‘plop’ as it opens, couldn’t be more satisfying. I almost jump into the shower and turn the water on. A mistake as it turns out. The water is cooking. It burns my freed breasts.

Who the fuck takes a shower this hot?!

The water becomes a moderate temperature, as I soap myself with a strange smelling piece, I’ve found on the tray in the corner.

Afterwards my hair is nearly impossible to comb — should I have used those bottles instead? Probably would have thought about it, if I had not been that distracted by my new body.

Anyway, time to get dressed and see what kind of night lies ahead.

I stop after entering the living room, not sure what is expected of me.

The two mortals are sitting on a sofa, cuddling.

‘Ah, there you are. Come, sit! We have waited for you,’ Kevin says.

‘Like forever. What have you done in there?’ the warrior is still grumpy, but not as much as during dinner.

I take the offered seat, on the edge of the sofa, cause the leprechaun is looking at me in expectancy, ignoring the comment of the veggie queen.

‘Come a little closer, or do you want to fall over? Allow yourself some comfort,’ he hands me a bowl with ‘Popcorn’ as he calls it, and I’m surprised by it’s buttery, salty taste. I like it!

I almost start to get comfortable but the strange behaviour of my seat mate destroys that feeling. Why is he sniffing at me?

My gaze must have made him aware of his doing. He stops, turning red.

‘I’m sorry! It’s just… which bottle of shampoo did you use?’ he wants to know.

‘None of them. Didn’t trust their substances. I’m all for the old-fashioned way in showering! I took the soap.’

The burst out of laughter from the girl disturb me, ‘what have I done wrong?’

‘Oh well — that was Hina’s special soap, against rash. We try to avoid it, because of this strong smell of marigold -‘

‘Now you smell like a granny!’ Bea’s giggles interrupt Kevin.

‘- you must know, sometimes it makes your skin burn or become itchy, if you use it without the need to ease your rash,’ he adds.

‘Great! Thanks for the warning.’ I almost yell at him.

‘Calm down. Here, have a nice glass of wine and a blanked, you must be cold.’

I suppose he never heard of Frostgiants, anyway, I take the blanked and if it’s only to cover this ugly thing that doesn‘t deserve the name pyjamas. A big sip of wine, helps me over the fact that the warrior is still laughing. I swear by Odin, I’m going to cut her throat , in her sleep, if she doesn’t stop soon.

‘ ‘kay ladies, enough silliness for now. Let’s get to the movie. Are you ready?’ Kevin asks, while he presses a button on the remote control.

The movie starts while Kevin explains to me that it is called ‘Star Wars’. After a few minutes I lose interest in it. This species has no clue what is going on in the universe. Not to mention the horrible special effects and this stupid emperor in a mask, calling himself Vader … they should meet Thanos!

At some point I decide to enjoy the food and the wine to let my thoughts wander. To correct the movie was fun, until they got angry with me because of the steady interruptions.

All those delicious details I’ve learned today!

The grandson of the Queen, Edmund, has been in the newspapers a lot, for his excessive party live. Would be stupid if I didn’t use it to make my way into the palace. The only problem will be my lack of patience. Every detail has to be perfect, so this croutons won’t realise how I infiltrate them. Maybe I should have ‘sight-seeing’ around Buckingham Palace tomorrow… ?’

As always, I’m happy about constructive feedback. Tell me what you think about it, if you’ve read until the end. And I’m sorry for the pic,.. next time I’ll draw a better one 🙈 it’s not that easy to transform him,...

[angelcatsiel]

I reblogged an ask game thing the other day but no one sent any asks so I just fuckin answered them all because I was bored and I am learning to not give a fuck what anyone thinks of me and it was fun

1. What is your favorite childhood story of yourself?

This is a hard one. I want to think of a funny one but my childhood wasn’t great. My dad has told me that when I was a toddler, before I can remember, he used to play AC/DC and I used to put clothes pegs in my hair for some unknown reason, stand on the sofa and violently headbang.

2. What is the stupidest way you have ever gotten hurt?

When I was about 11, I was swinging on a swing in the garden, and got curious about what would happen if I put my hands right at the very bottom of the chains while I was swinging. The answer was that I fell off backwards and hit my head. I went in to my dad crying, calmed down, and went back on the swing again. I tried to work out what exactly I had done to cause myself to fall off. I remember thinking, I think I held the chains near the bottom like this... and tested the theory, and fell off again, and hit my head again.

This is one of many stupid injuries. Other considerations were the time I climbed up a slide and hit my head on the bar at the top and knocked myself out, or the time I got kicked by a horse in a field and grabbed onto the electric fence to hold myself up.

3. What was the first PG-13 movie you watched?

Literally no idea.

4. What was the first R rated movie you watched?

I think it may have been the first Deadpool? Haven’t seen that many tbh

5. When was the moment you felt most badass?

When I was about 8, I was at the park with my brother, and this much older kid (maybe about 16 or 17, hardly a kid) with an aggressive dog stole my brother’s ice cream money. I marched up to him and demanded he give it back. He let his dog off the lead and it sniffed around my ankles and growled, and he told me it would bite me if I ran. I stood there and stared him down for a good 20 seconds or so before he called back the dog and walked away. I didn’t get the money back.

6. What is a band you can reliably always love?

Marillion. Favourite band, always.

7. What is your favorite form of self expression?

Probably singing even though I’m very bad at it.

8. What is something from your childhood you wish you still had?

My stuffed rabbit Hoppy. I haven’t been able to find him in several years. Can’t think about it too hard or I’ll cry.

9. Where is your favorite place on earth?

The Isle of Wight. My dad used to take me and my brother there for holidays every few years. It’s beautiful and full of memories, the most precious memories being the time we saved up vouchers in the newspaper to go the year after my dad left his abusive wife and ended up homeless. We were so poor but with the vouchers we could just afford to go, and it was the first time I saw my dad happy in a long time.

10. What is the longest friendship you have ever had?

My best friend @van-helsa124 who I have known since literally nursery and I love her so much.

11. Is there anyone is your life you wish you had met sooner than you did?

Maybe my friend Luce who I only met a couple of years ago, but we’ve grown close pretty quick.

12. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep definitely. Pretty sure I was visited by my gran after she died and I’ve had a few creepy experiences.

13. What is the coldest water you have ever swam in?

No idea tbh, I don’t swim much

14. How old were you when you learned how to swim?

Maybe 8 or 9? I had lessons in primary school.

15.  What song do you listen to when you’re sad?

Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift. It’s my cry song.

16. Are you an adrenaline junky?

Yep! Love roller coasters and stuff like that, and would love to do something extreme like jump out of a plane or something.

17. What is a song that takes you back to childhood?

I have a few but the main ones are probably Man on the Moon by REM, and You Were Right by Badly Drawn Boy.

18. What is your favorite word?

Not sure I have one. For some reason the only one coming to mind is a place not too far from where my family live called Biggleswade, and I have to say it every time we drive past because I love saying it. I also love saying tiddies at every opportunity.

19. What is your least favorite word?

Don’t think I have a least favourite either, the usual infamous ones (e.g. moist) don’t really bother me.

20. What scent reminds you of childhood?

Cherryade. I drank some several years ago and the smell before I tasted it transported me immediately back to my childhood and a memory I’d completely forgotten, which was my gran constantly buying me a shit ton of cherryade every time I stayed over her house.

21. Were you sad when you found out clouds weren’t like pillows, or did you never think that?

I don’t think I was sad, I think I was just curious and interested to learn, and I tried to come up with new interesting ways of describing the feeling of clouds in my head, since even as a kid I loved to write.

22. When in life did you laugh the hardest?

A few times come to mind and they all involve @van-helsa124. A lot would make absolutely no sense, no matter how much I tried to explain. They’re now ‘friendship memes’. The only one that might be explainable is the first time we ever got drunk, to celebrate achieving ultimate friendship, after we found out that her mum had believed me and her were in a relationship for a year and a half. We even created our own drink, named the year and a half, which was literally just a mix of vodka, koppaberg, rose wine and cloudy lemonade. Tasted better than it sounds. Got me drunk in about 0.5 seconds. Ended the night hugging her trash can trying not to throw up while she read me a destiel fanfic to take my mind off feeling sick

23. What makes you laugh when you don’t feel like laughing?

Old yogscast videos.

24. Do you come from a big family?

Fairly big, lots of aunts and uncles and cousins.

25. What is your favorite part of yourself?

My positivity and the inner strength that I have, that helps me find happiness and courage even when my mental health is low.

26. What is the worst pain you have ever felt?

Trigeminal neuralgia pain (facial nerve pain). Spent 90% of January this year constantly crying and even screaming in pain. Hospital couldn’t do anything for me. I get occasional flare ups now but nothing that severe, but it’s probably going to come back. Feels like someone trying to rip out my cheekbone and jawbone or like someone is literally drilling into the bones in my face, and that’s the milder part. Every so often that pain is interrupted by stabs of sharper pain like electric shocks which have caused me to collapse to the floor screaming. 0/10 do not recommend

27. Do you swear often?

Not super often out loud but very often in my head.

28. Do you get confused for being older or younger than you are?

People always assume I’m younger than I am. I get asked for ID for everything.

29. What is your favorite way to eat a potato?

Probably roast potatoes, but they’ve gotta be done right. Soft inside, crispy outside, and obviously with herbs and spices.

30. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Honestly no idea.

31. Describe yourself in 6 words?

Slightly unstable yet somehow happy weirdo

32. What is the worst insult you have ever received?

Can’t think of any major insults either lmao no one talks to me apparently

33. Have you ever taken in any media that changed your life?

The Good Place and Supernatural. With supernatural it wasn’t the actual show so much as the friendships it made me and the confidence and happiness the conventions gave me, at a time when my mental health was at its worst, although the show helped massively too. Idc if it’s cringey, it kept me alive. The Good Place changed my entire worldview and actually made me less afraid of death.

34. Have you ever collected anything?

My model horses! I have at least 10 at this point

35. Strangest thing you have ever broken?

As in bones or objects? Can’t think of any objects and the only time I ever broke a bone was when I broke my toe at like 12:01am on new year’s day when I got up to pour myself another drink and tripped over the table

36. Weirdest food you have ever eaten?

I’m not that adventurous with food so nothing that weird

37. Childhood nickname?

My dad would call me Flo. Not sure why.

38. Most people you have shared a bed with in a non sexual manner?

Two. Shared a bed with my best friend and my other friend Josh, once at a convention, once at Josh’s birthday. Birthday one is a bit blurry as I was drunk but at the convention I got to be in the middle and spooned Josh while my best friend spooned me and it was very cosy

39. What is something that makes you fall asleep?

The Marillion song Angelina, or this one ASMR video that’s supposed to be the sound of being in the Impala with the Winchesters. Laugh all you want, I like it.

40. Did your parents ever accidentally lose or forget you?

No but my teacher did once, can’t remember the context, I think she had to drive me and some other girls somewhere for some club event and when we got back to the school she forgot me in the car because I was so quiet lmao

41. If you were a superhero what would your weakness be?

I would be a terrible superhero and have many weaknesses. Loud noises would immediately put me out of action. Someone makes eye contact with me and I disintegrate immediately

42. What food reminds you of home?

Tuna pasta! With this one specific sauce that my mum used to make it with

43. What is your comfort food?

Probably also that tuna pasta. And chocolate. A shit ton of chocolate.

44. Cold room with lots of blankets or hot room with no blankets?

Cold room with lots of blankets, no question.

45. No shoes without socks or no shoes with socks?

No shoes without socks

46. Do you run hot your cold?

I am presuming this means ‘do you run hot or cold’ and the answer is, usually, both simultaneously. My body has no idea what temperature regulation is. Catch me out for a walk in short sleeves in the snow, sweating profusely while violently shivering bc I’m feeling extremely hot internally but my skin is freezing (and yes, I have actually done this). Do I have some sort of legit medical issue? No one knows, least of all my doctors!

47. Favorite condiment?

Probably ketchup. Though I also love garlic dip. Does that count as a condiment?

48. What utensil do you use the most?

Probably my tongs for turning chicken and stuff

49. When are you most comfortable?

Any time I’m home alone, just doing my own thing

50. If you could be really good at one thing, what would it be?

Singing! I would love to be an amazing singer but sadly I am a terrible singer though I do practice every day in the vain hope that maybe my voice will improve. If the neighbours could hear me they would have killed me by now

[rainbow-hatted1]

What Boredom looks like

1. You just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/

Yeah, that’s sort of my jam. Reddit in general but that is my go to.

vv more below if you wanna deep dive. vv

2. You just walked into a bookstore. What section do you go to first?

The local published section. If it’s a good bookshop they usually have one. Usually it’s poetry, or short essay compilations or local history books but I tend to like the offerings and you’re supporting people who don’t have a big platform yet.

Otherwise, comics and fantasy are my next first stops.

3. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

Lately, not much of anything. Arguing… not talking… depressing things.

Ideally, though, there’s a good meal. Either we’ve cobbled it together on our own or it’s a decent take out option and video/board games. Quidditch if it’s a nice day. Basically, where we can sit and bullshit and laugh a lot. That’s the best time with my mates.

4. You just turned your car on. What station is the radio tuned to?

The independent/alt/rock station. In spite making pop music myself I don’t listen to it a lot. Which is probably weird.

5. You have just woken up for the morning. What is the first things you do?

Try to go back to sleep.

6. Complete this phrase: You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy____.

Tacos

7. What would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender?

Probably touch my boobs entirely too much. Liz calls them boob checks… well, if they’re quick and random, this would probably be fondling.  I am ashamed of this answer but it’s likely what I’d do.

8. Are you more likely to cook for yourself or buy food from a restaurant?

I’m prone to laziness but I actually find cooking relaxing so cook for myself. Saves money too. It’s just a good practice to have in general.

9. If you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you rather lose?

Smell, probably. I enjoy food too much to lose taste. And between sight and hearing, I’d miss not having those senses and touch is just kind of important as a human being.  

10. If you could relive any one year of your life, how old would you be?

Dunno

11. Would you take a bullet for anyone you know?

A few someones

12. Would you rather be rich and dumb or poor and extremely intelligent?

Poor and intelligent. Better chances of bettering my situation with that one.

13. What TV character do you most relate to?

Sam Gardner from Atypical.

14. You just walked into a supermarket. What section do you first go to?

Produce. Yeah, you all thought I’d go for the bakery and desserts. Don’t lie.

15. Is sex before marriage wrong?

No. It’s human. So is waiting. It shouldn’t be as polarizing as it is. Sex is part of life and how you want to experience it is entirely up to you.

16. You just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do with your winnings?

Get a lawyer and not tell anyone I won. People get shitty when you have a lot of money. They expect you to make it rain and I wouldn’t. I’d also take the weekly installments. More money overall and you are far less likely to tank yourself with the winnings. Just saying.

17. If your best friend admitted that they have a crush on you, how would you react?

I would be awkward as fuck. Love him, not like that and he has a girlfriend so yeah… it’d be fucked up.

18. Will the USA ever have a female president?

At this point in time: no. Again, this is a polarizing question that shouldn’t be. A woman could run the country I’m not women in charge by that answer. Don’t read into it. I’m merely saying, that with the way the country appears to be currently they will not vote for that. I’m sorry. It’s stupid.

19. You are carpooling with your friends. Are you more likely to be the driver or a passenger?

Passenger. I don’t drive.

20. How short is too short for skirts and dresses?

I’m not ancient or wearing a skirt so I don’t think it matters, but I tend to prefer more modest options on girls.

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, without any consequences, what food would you choose?

Pizza.

22. It’s Saturday night. What are you most likely doing?

Sleeping.

23. You go on a blind date. Your date is extremely beautiful and physically captivating, but you hate their personality. Would you want a second date?

No.

24. How strict should gun laws be?

I think Australia had the right reaction to a massacre

25. Would you rather be the worst player on the best team or the best player on the worst team?

Best player on the worst team. Hopefully, they wouldn’t resent me and we could have a good 90’s style underdog story.

26. How well do you work with others?

Not well.

27. You have the ability to cure only one fatal disease and eradicate it forever. What disease do you choose?

I don’t want that power. Either way people are gonna die and wonder why I couldn’t cure all cancer or something else that’s just as bad…and inevitably another disease will surface that’s worse. There will always be disease even if we don’t like it.

28. If you could go back to college and choose a different degree to study, would you?

Well, considering I’m not in college yet I can still change my mind on that one, but I probably wouldn’t. Care of Magical Creatures but I haven’t zoned in on the specific avenue I want to go in that field yet.

29. Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Er… traveling the countryside looking for magical creatures and documenting them in the wild. It’d be cool if my friends joined once in a while.

30. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice isn’t anti-life, for fucks sake people.

31. Would you attend a same sex wedding if invited?

Yeah. If my mates fell in love and get married, I’m gonna be at the party regardless of sexes involved.

32. So far, what has been the greatest day of your life?

The first time HM played to a sold out crowd. That was pretty shocking. We’ve done it since and Nik has carried on doing it on his own but that day was scary and humbling and epic.

33. Has anyone you know ever been arrested?

Yeah, wrongly so but they saw what they wanted and went that’s our guy. Luckily, he didn’t get sent away for good.

34. If it could be one season year-round, what season do would you want it to be?

Fall. But like warm fall not close to winter fall. That fall sucks.

35. What is your biggest regret in life?

Saying such shit things about Anna and Charlie’s mum because I was mad at him. We’ve never recovered from it and it was a stupid in the moment blind rage bullshit thing I can’t ever take back.

36. If you could bring one celebrity back from the dead, who would it be?

John Lennon, probably. But the thing is, not everyone is upset their deaths were untimely. That’s more the livings problem than the dead, I’ve come to learn.

37. What offends you the most?

When people assume how I’m feeling. I’m not exactly easy to read, I know that, and I have a hard time wrapping my own head around my thoughts and feelings. So when I am feeling something and someone says I’m feeling another way because my face doesn’t wash with an emotion or my reaction doesn’t match like it allegedly should it’s really upsetting to me and just makes things worse.

38. Would you rather have an ugly hairstyle or be bald?

Do what you want. It’s just hair

39. At what age did you have your first alcoholic beverage?

16. Yeah, I think that’s right.

40. What do you think happens to us when we die?

Ideally, you move on to another plane. Kind of like a multiverse but one for endings. For a bit you can linger between the here as we know it and there but eventually you either stay and become a ghost or a poltergeist (which depends solely on your continued mental state on the matter of your death) but most move on beyond the veil.

41. What do you think is the best way to quit smoking?

I don’t know.

42. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which animal would you choose?

A bear of some sort. Polar, Grizzly, Black…. Whatever they’ve got. Not all zoos have the same bears.

43. Were humans created or did we evolve from earlier species?

I’m gonna go out and say something that pisses people off but I don’t see why it can’t be both. Something came out of nothing which is creating, right? The act of creating something is taking elements and making them something or straight up creating an element. What did that, I don’t know. But at one point there was a creation moment. From there everything on this planet has changed and adapted to the situations and surroundings they came into. Life is change, you don’t change you can’t survive. So both. Both sound right to me.

44. What scares you the most?

Losing everyone I care about… and bugs. Fuck bugs

45. What personality trait turns you off the most?

I hate when people play dumb.

46. You got offered a job to do something you hate, but the pay will make you rich. Do you take it?

No.

47. If today you only had what you were thankful for yesterday, how much would you have?

Sadly, not very much probably.

48. How often do you get mad or upset at yourself?

Everyday.

49. If you could choose one celebrity to be your parent, who would you choose?

I’ll keep my parents, thanks but to answer the question: Reign. At least I’d still have family.

50. If you could only listen to one musical artist for the rest of you life, who would you be listening to?

I would probably choose not to listen to music after a bit. I like variety and I’m not always in the mood for an artist of one flavor but the Beatles? At least their breadth of music is pretty wide.

51. Have you ever used you cell phone while driving?

No

52. Has anyone you were close to die way too young?

Yes.

53. Is world peace possible?

No, I don’t believe it is. It’d be great if it could be. There’s no reason for all this hate but people are always going to clash. We get on for a bit and then boom, it’s done. Peace is an impossibility but we should still strive for it regardless.

54. You go on a blind date. You date is extremely ugly and physically appalling, but you are madly in love with their personality. Would you want a second date?

I don’t know. I want to say yes, be that guy who doesn’t care. Looks really are not everything but ultimately, you should be attracted to your partner. If you aren’t it isn’t likely to work even if their personality is the most beautiful thing in the world.

55. How did you discover that Santa Claus isn’t real?

My little brother told me and I was devastated.

56. Do you believe in God, or some form of higher deity?

I honestly want to but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around how things can be the way they are if a loving god is out there watching us. I think the Futurama episode where Bender gets life on his ass is a great example of how my brain wants to look at it.

And then I read the Bible and get to stories like Zechariah and I’m just left thinking that guy probably had a stroke while praying and the rest is a coincidence.

57. If you could save someone you deeply cared about, but it meant breaking a law, would you do it?

Fuck yes. Without hesitation

58. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for money?

Sold my soul for a sickle once.

59. If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would the subject be?

Magical Creatures. I could go on for a very long time about that topic.

60. What do you think is your greatest personality flaw?

I’m rigid. I have a hard time shifting directions when I get going.

61. If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you still want them as friend?

I haven’t got many actual friends so maybe. Better than being alone, I suppose.

62. Have you ever “woke up like this”?

No one has ever “woke up like this”. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie. Even if they look good, that caption shows intent and planning: don’t fall for it.

63. You got offered a job to do something you love, but the pay is one of the worst out there. Do you take it?

If I really fucking love it, yes. But I’m also in a position where I can have a shit paying or no paying job and basically be fine.

64. What do you think is your best physical feature?

My lips?

65. What do you think is your worst physical feature.

My nose is big.

66. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide?

Not suicide no. But I know people who have considered it. Glad they didn’t follow through.

67. What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you don’t know?

I dunno. I have a habit of giving my bus ticket away if it still has time on it. I know it’s not much but as for random acts of kindness that weren’t really put on display for charities or a fluff news story, that’s the one I’ve got.

68. Have you ever had a night’s dream come true?

No, can’t say that I have.

69. Would you reject a date offer from someone you didn’t like?

yes

70. Which do you think is worse: Failure, or never trying at all?

This is one of those what I say is not really what I do things. I think the second is worse but I often freeze when it comes to choices like this. When I’m by myself: I freeze.

[shewillreadyou]

Me Before You: Chapter 13-Sorry

A/N: This is a TRR AU. Liam is already married, but see’s Riley and wants his cake. Drake and Riley are at the hospital visiting Liam before they head off to their honeymoon...

Disclaimers: Most characters are property of Pixelberry

Warnings: Language, adult content, sexual content, IF YOU ARE NOT 18 JUST DON’T. 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

A Big ol’ THANK YOU to all those who take the time to read my fics. I truly appreciate you. Extra thanks to those who comment and reblog. Y’all give me LIFE! Thank you to @secretaryunpaid for the pre-read.

Chapter 1: Haven’t met you yet

Chapter 2: For Real

Chapter 3: Excuse me miss

Chapter 4: It’s getting late

Chapter 5: Love on the brain

Chapter 6: When a man loves a woman

Chapter 7: Bad Habits

Chapter 8: Dive

Chapter 9: Guess who’s coming to Dinner?

Bonus: Just the way you are

Chapter 10: I Choose you

Chapter 11: Everytime I close my eyes

Chapter 12: Die a Happy man

Pairings: Drake & Riley

Prompts: @wackydrabbles  prompt #123 “I don’t feel so good.” will appear in bold.

Word Count: 2000

Please Like, Comment and Reblog. It means alot to me. Thanks in advance. Also, let me know if you want on or off the taglist.

Drake excused himself to contact Madeline, the reception from Liam’s room was terrible. Riley waited by Liam’s side texting Carsyn. She knew that they only had a short window of time before they missed their flight. Carsyn confirmed that she was on the way back to the hospital as Riley settled into the chair beside Liam’s bed. 

“Thank you.”  His voice was so quiet Riley wasn’t sure if she had actually heard him or if she imagined it. 

“Liam? You’re awake.”

He coughed before Riley quickly grabbed the white styrofoam cup next to the bed to hold the straw to his dry lips. He nodded, thanking her before speaking.

“What happened? Where are we?”

Riley stood to look into his eyes. “Liam, you were in a wreck after you left the strip club. You lost a lot of blood. We’re at Baylor hospital.”

“And you--” Liam chokes on his words. “You are here with me. I’m so sorry, Riley.”

“Sorry Liam? You’re sorry? For what? Are you sorry that you have been a creep since the moment we met? Or are you sorry that you burst into Drake’s room while I was changing? Or that you forced a kiss on me and accused me of wanting it? Perhaps you’re sorry for taking my husband to a strip club and paying a whore to seduce him. How about what you should be sorry about, about how disappointed your best friend was because you missed his wedding after staying out all night with strippers? We are supposed to be at the airport starting our happily ever after!” she spat. “But noooo, Drake is a better friend to you than you could ever be to him. So here we are! So you are right, you are one of the sorriest motherfuckers I have ever laid eyes on. How much more is he supposed to endure for you, Liam?” a deafening silence fell over the room. Liam closed his eyes contemplating her words. 

“Answer me, dammit!”

“Riley, I--”

“You what? Liam, you are a poor excuse for a man.”

“I know. You have made your point. I-- I am ashamed of my behavior. It’s clear that I have some self reflecting to do.”

“That’s the understatement of the year. Carsyn is on her way. We have a plane to catch.”

“She is? Where’s Drake?” 

“Yes, she is…and when she gets here you had better have your shit together. You are going to lose her and Drake if you keep to your trifling ways. They are sick of your shit, Liam. I don’t know how much Carsyn has left in her but Drake is done cleaning up your mess. That man, he is mine and I will protect him until my last breath. You’re not going to keep treating my husband like shit. He’s too good to you for that…”

“What am I too good for?” Drake asked as he and Bastien entered the room. 

“Nothing,” Liam said quietly. 

“Liam, you’re awake.” Drake moved to his side. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t feel so good.”

 “I’m sore; but I will live, I guess.” he trailed off. “Look, Drake I owe you an apology. I missed the wedding, got you tangled in my mess and now you might miss your flight.”

“It’s ok.” Drake started.

“No, it’s not!” Riley interrupted. 

Drake shot her a warning glare before he continued. She deadpanned. 

“I couldn’t leave knowing you were laid up in the hospital unconscious. Then we got here to find that girl from the club lurking around. She wants hush money Li.” 

“Heh, I’m not surprised. Let Madeline handle it.”

“I contacted Madeline so she could get ahead of all of this before it hits the media. Riley and I had a flight to catch and we missed it. She insisted on getting you squared away before we headed to the airport.”

“Drake, I feel awful. Take the royal jet. I’m sure I can’t fly in this condition anyway. It’s the least I can do.” Liam pleaded.

“Damn right,” Riley quipped. Drake glared at her and she shrugged her shoulders as Liam smiled.

After getting Liam all squared away, Drake and Riley set out on their first adventure as a married couple. The 24 hour flight from Dallas to Phuket, Koh Phi Phi aboard the private jet gave them plenty of time to talk about the future, take naps, read, and of course rack up frequent flyer miles as members of the “Mile high Club.” 

He had planned their day, but after that flight they were both spent. They spent the day in bed, tangled in the white cotton sheets, before slumber came to claim them both. Riley fell asleep on her husband's chest in the center of paradise.

The sound of heavy rainfall plucked her from her sleep as a gentle breeze tickled her skin. She reached across the bed to find the place where Drake slept the previous night empty. It was really early. The sun hadn’t come up yet the door to the deck was open and the breeze seemed to draw her.

------

“Carsyn, you came.” Liam laid heavily medicated in the Dallas hospital bed. He laid eyes on the one person who he never expected to see. He was sure he had blown it with her. His remorseful eyes followed her as she moved to his side. 

She looked at his bruise pale skin before she placed her hand over his. “Li, I have to be honest. After all that we have been through, everything within me tells me I shouldn’t be here. That I should run away from you and never look back.”

“Car--”

“Let me finish,” she interrupted. He nodded. “But when I look into your eyes and I remember the vows I took to be by your side for better or for worse, I just can’t help coming to your aide. I have no idea if I will live to regret this, because all it has been for our entire marriage is for worse. When does the “for better” part start Li? When?” Her shoulders visibly shook as she held back a sob. 

“Now,” he said barely above a whisper. “You’re a remarkable woman Carsyn. I’m not sure how you have held on this long, but I’m glad you have. I honestly didn’t know the depths of how deeply I needed you until you left. Come home. Let me prove to you that I can be the man you fell in love with. Riley was right. I have been a bismal husband, poor king and a pitiful friend.”

She gazed at him thoughtfully. Quietly, she spoke. “I don’t trust you. You assaulted your best friend’s wife, got drunk and got in a wreck and missed their wedding. Drake is a better friend to you than you could even be to yourself. He and his new bride missed their flight to their honeymoon to be at your side.”

“Don’t you think I know that? All the people I hurt the worst were the only ones by my side when I woke up. I realize that now. This has all been quite the humbling experience. I promise you Car, I will spend the rest of my days trying to right this wrong. All I do is run people away. You left me, Drake left me. Hell, even my own mother… I am so damaged.” 

The rain poured violently through the canopy of trees. Riley found a shirtless Drake in a trance staring out into the storm. His far away look alarmed her. She slowly approached him, wordlessly placing her hand on his shoulder. After a few moments he reached up to cover her hand with his own. His deep breathing turned into unabashed sobs when she took him in her arms. “Babe, what the hell?”

“I’m a horrible friend. I left him alone. If I just stayed..He needed me.” 

She wiped his tears. They terrified her. Her big strong, confident, brooding, masculine husband was a blubbering mess of tears. She swallowed thickly, trying her best to hold it together. “No! No Drake. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to blame yourself and take on his bullshit.” she chidded. If you would have stayed you would have missed our wedding too. You’d be laid up in the hospital or worse, dead! You were where you were supposed to be. You came home. He’s a grown man Drake! You’ve taken care of him long enough. Let his wife take care of him. I need you. I’m your wife. Take care of me.”

His tears slowed as he pulled his bride into his lap. “You’re right, il mio amore. I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her neck. His lips found the sensitive flesh as his large calloused hand ran up her thigh. Her breath caught in her throat, she shivered as he broke contact with her just long enough to slide his undershirt over her head. “You are perfect, you know that?” She blushed at his words as she straddled him running her fingers through his thick chocolate mane. He bit his lip as he ghosted his hand down her curves. Her full lips found his in a slow lust filled kiss. She moaned into his mouth as he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Her swollen lips parted as she panted. Her stiff tongue flicked one of his nipples before she moved over to suck the other. Her warm mouth followed her hands down his defined abs, her tongue tracing each muscle. She slowly dragged her tongue down his Adonis belt before tugging his boxers down. She smiled when he lifted his bottom to help. His monstrous erection sprung free as her eager mouth found his tip releasing it with a pop. 

Drake pulled Riley to her feet and pressed her up against a post, before running his hand up her body settling his large hand around her throat. Their eyes met in adoration as her chest rose and fell with anticipation. Her body was on fire. She had never felt so connected to another person. It was deeper than a physical connection. As he looked into her eyes she was sure that their souls were one. Drake fell to his knees and rested his wife's thigh on his shoulder. He took his time kissing her inner thighs before burying his face in her apex. She gasped at the sensation. “Drake, I--Iove you,” she stuttered. “I love you more.” His voice reverberated throughout her core. His words were enough to send her crashing into her first orgasm. 

Drake lifted her petite frame with one hand as she trembled. He stroked his throbbing length with the other pushing inside of her without warning. “Drake!” Riley screamed as she stretched around him. With her legs wrapped around his waist he thrusted into her slowly and deeply. A single tear fell down her cheek as she gripped the hair at the nape of his neck. His greyish blues met her hazel greens as she bounced up and down. “What have you done to me, woman?” Watching her cry got him all choked up. After several more passionate, sensual minutes of love making Drake could feel himself getting close. “I can’t hold out much longer in this position. Where do you want this?” 

“Inside me.” she whispered in his ear. “I can’t wait to have your gorgeous country ass babies.” Drake buried his face in her neck as he chuckled lowly. 

In that moment he knew he was a goner. He knew that he would give his life for her. He knew that she had been the best decision he had ever made. She was his dream come true. She completed him. She held him down like no one else could and still let him be a man. He didn’t know where life was taking them. But he was sure that with her by his side it would be an adventure.

@txemrn @secretaryunpaid @khoicesbyk @blackkingliamstan @mom2000aggie @shannonwrote @hopelessromanticmonie @chemist-ana @lucy-268 @dcbbw @darley1101 @maurine07 @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @kingliam2019 @schnitzelbutterfingers @lem-20 @choicesficwriterscreations @petiteboheme @phoenixrising308 @queenrileyrose  @somersetmummy @axwalker @gkittylove99 @nestledonthaveone @princessleac1​ @wackydrabbles​

TRR: @twinkleallnight  @bebepac @mainstreetreader @romereadingshop @romewritingshop @lem-20 @texaskitten30

[stressa-bessa]

Satin Slippers - Part 3: Moderato

hey guys! I’ve decided that there will be a part 4 to this series! Stay tuned as I would like to have it up by the weekend. If you like this series, let me know, and if you have any requests, comments, feedback, please send it to me!

High School!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Angst & Fluff!

Word count: 3502

 The sun shone through your bedroom window, the light of day break waking you from your sleep. Today was the day of the Spring recital. You had awoken with knots in your stomach, but you weren’t sure if you were nervous for the show or due to the previous night with Peter.

The two of you hadn’t spoken since the evening where you almost kissed. You hadn’t attended school yesterday as you had a mandatory dance class and rehearsal during the day, leaving you unable to meet up with him for your usual morning bagel. He hadn’t responded to any of your texts, but you knew that the Avengers were particularly busy, as your dad, while back in the country, had been absent yet again.

You slip your toes into some fluffy slippers and walk into the kitchen to make some breakfast. The penthouse was quiet without the Avengers there to keep you company. Opting for some tea and oatmeal, you sit on the counter while you wait for the kettle to boil.

You pull out your phone and look at the last text you sent Peter.

8:47 am Y/N: Hey Pete? Can we talk?

9:32 am Y/N: I hope I didn’t freak you out last night, I’m sorry

1:23 pm Y/N: Can you give me a call when you have the chance?

3:54 pm Y/N: Stay safe xx ❤️

Had you scared him away? you thought quietly to yourself, grabbing your stomach to soothe the knots that were growing tighter with every passing minute.

You phone vibrated in your hand, a smile growing on your face as you hoped that it was a message from Peter.

To your dismay, it was Annabelle confirming that you would bring her an extra pair of tights. With a sigh, you reply quickly to your friend.

As you poured the hot water into your cup and bowl, being greeted by Pepper, who walked into the kitchen to join you.

“Good morning, superstar.” She smiles, kissing the top of your head.

“Good morning, Pepper.” You reply sweetly, sitting beside her at the kitchen table.

Pepper had always done her very best to treat you like one of her own children. She respected the fact that she wasn’t your mother and never tried to replace her, however, Pepper felt that you were her entire world. She had been a mother figure to you since you were four years old. She was truly the only mother you ever knew. When Pepper had started dating Tony, she knew that the two of you were a package deal and she never tried to change that.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” She says with a sympathetic look in her eye.

“Nothing.” You sigh, looking into your plain looking oatmeal. The berries you had hoped to dress it with had gone moldy in the fridge. Just another thing on your list to be disappointed about.

“I’ve known you long enough to sense when you’re off. What’s up?” Pepper presses, lifting your chin up so you could look her in the eye.

“I’m nervous…but not for the show. Peter hasn’t talked to me in two days and I think it’s all my fault.” You confess, a lump forming in your throat as fear washes over your body.

“Well, what happened? It’s not like Peter to just leave you hanging.” Pepper counters as she sits back into her chair.

“He was supposed to come over after my dance class, and he did. But I was a bumbling mess of tears because I am angry with dad. Peter was trying to console me and then we almost kissed, but dad interrupted us. Peter then rushed out of the tower and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. He won’t even reply to my texts.” You cry, a couple of tears falling onto your cheeks.

“Mmm, I see.” Pepper hums, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Think about how Peter is probably feeling. He’s been stuck on a plane and on a mission with your dad for the last 35 hours. The poor guy is probably sweating bullets and is definitely busy. I’m sure he will give you a call the moment they land.” She smiles, chuckling lightly. Pepper always knew the right thing to say.

“Now, the issue with your father. He’s a stubborn man, you know?” She laughs, “Part of him feels that he’s losing you, his little buddy. You’re interested in your own life now and Peter, and your dad feels left out. But because he’s stubborn, he won’t say anything and will just let you do your own thing while he focuses on work. Maybe you should try and talk to him tonight when we go for dinner?” Pepper suggests, grabbing your hand for reassurance.

“You’re right. I didn’t think of it that way.” You sigh, realizing that you should have tried to see things from your dad’s point of view.

“You aren’t supposed to, you’re young! You figure these things out over time.” She smiles while standing up. “I’d be happy to give you a ride to the studio, if you’d like?” Pepper adds as she wraps her house coat tighter to her body. “Maybe we could go for lunch beforehand?”

“I’d love that, Pep!” you chirp as you finish eating your breakfast.

----------------------------------------

With your dance bag in tow, you and Pepper walk across the street from where you’ve parked and enter a cheery little café. It had the loveliest view of the harbor with the skyscrapers lining the horizon.

Pepper’s tall frame looked dashing in slick skinny jeans, riding boots and a black blazer, her red hair pulled back in to a sleek ponytail.

You on the other hand, had your messy locks slicked into a tight bun with baggy sweat pants, your dance jacket and uggs.

As the two of you got seated, you could see a large mass block out the suns view, and a rumble came from the ground beneath your feet. Trailing behind the darkness in the sky, flew Iron man. You could see Spider-Man swing from the buildings across the horizon.

With a sigh, Pepper looked at you and said, “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m sure they’ll be on time for tonight. All you should focus on is yourself.” She consoles with a smile.

Unfortunately, seeing your father and crush sweep through the city had become a common occurrence for both you and Pepper. If it had been something incredibly serious, the rest of the Avengers would have been called and Tony would have contacted the both of you. However, these missions often took a while and the chance of the two of them arriving on time, let alone at all, was incredibly slim.

You gave Pepper a look, as if to say that you knew your dad would once again miss another show.

“Well…You can count on me!” Pepper says overly enthusiastic tone, trying to cheer you up. A sigh escaping your lips as you looked down at your menu.

Meanwhile…

Peter and the rest of the Avengers had just landed after a quick trip to Washington. There had been some suspicious activity at the Pentagon that needed resolving from the team. As they landed, Peter had whipped out his phone out to message you. He had been so busy that he hadn’t had the chance to reply to you. As if fate was in his way, just as he was about to hit ‘send’, more trouble arose causing both Tony and Peter to jump into action.

The henchmen from the mission at the Pentagon had followed the Quinjet to New York, unfortunately, only Tony and Peter had been on board as the rest of the gang had stayed back in Washington to keep an eye on things.

“uhm, Mr. Stark?” Peter says hesitantly, webbing the bad guys that were trying to interrupt Tony, who was working on disabling what seemed to be the central line of the aircraft.

“What, kid?” He shouts back.

“It’s 6:30!”

“So? Can’t you see that we are a little busy?” Tony replies sharply, annoyed that Peter was interrupting his work.

Peter takes a punch to the face, shooting a web at his attacker. The web pins the henchman to the wall allowing Peter to go after the others.

“The show starts at 7!” Peter reminds, drop kicking one of the bad guys that was aiming a gun at Tony.

“What show!? Kid, you should be more focused on the task at hand rather than your How I Met Your Mother reruns-“

“No! Y/N’s show!” Peter interrupts hastily.

Tony had completely forgotten among the chaos over the past few days. He was grateful to be wearing a mask as it concealed his shame and embarrassment. The last thing he needed was to let you down.

“Then I guess we better get moving!” He shouts, kicking his suit into high gear.

-------------------------------------

At the theater, you were pacing back and forth in the hallway that lead to backstage, the sound of your point shoes making an annoying tapping sound on the hardwood.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? You are never this nervous.” Annabelle asks in a concerned tone.

“It’s nothing.” You sigh, looking at the clock on the wall.

A familiar red head pops behind the stage door.

“Any news from them Pepper?” You plead, searching her face for an answer.

“Nothing yet. Don’t sweat it, kiddo. Just go out there and do your best, okay?” She smiles as she adjusts the tiara on the top of your head. “You look perfect.  Now, let me have my proud mom moment and pose for a photo!” Pepper laughs as she pulls out her phone, snapping a photo of you on pointe and a silly one with Annabelle.

That small moment with Pepper was enough to calm your mind for the time being, until you reached the wings of the stage. You couldn’t get Peter out of your head. You were so worried about his well-being, and on top of that, the state of your friendship.

After what felt like eternity, the stage hands gave you the cue to set yourselves in the wings before taking your position on stage.

You could hear the crowd clapping as you nervously walk on stage to set your place. You look over at Annabelle who gives you a wink for good luck. You place your self in the center of the stage and hold your breath. It wasn’t until the curtains opened and that you had turned around, that you saw, not only Pepper, but your dad and Peter, in the front row, safe and sound.

With that, you breathed a deep sigh of relief, allowing yourself to fall in tempo to the music.

------------------------------

A roar of applause filled the theater as you and your friends walk to the front of the stage for a bow. You could see faintly, a giant smile on Tony and Pepper’s faces. Peter looked completely astonished.

This ballet had been one of the most beautiful things Peter had even seen. He compared it to the first snow fall of the year, how magical and captivating it could be. Peter thought that you were simply radiant. He could tell where you were among the corps de ballet by your stage presence alone. He knew his girl.

Scrambling backstage in a line that resembled ducklings, you took in a deep breath, a large smile forming as you exhale.

“Way to go, Y/N!” Your ballet mistress says as she gives you a long congratulatory hug. “The Mazurka was beautiful and vibrant. Keep up the great work! You never know, we might give you something bigger for the Christmas recital.” She mentions with a coy smile as she walks away to congratulate another soloist.

You walk to the dressing room and plop down at your vanity, flicking on the lights that shone around your mirror. Annabelle sits beside you and gives you a giant smile.

As you take out your earrings, she taps your shoulder and leans close to you. In almost a whisper, she says “There’s a cute boy waiting for you at the stage door, I can only assume that it’s Peter?” Annabelle giggles, excited for her friend.

You felt your stomach drop. You knew that he was here, why did this come as such a surprise? Maybe you were stressing because you haven’t spoken, let alone seen, Peter in almost 3 days and now you had no idea as to what he was going to say.

Standing up and taking a shaky breath, you turn towards the hall that lead you to the stage door. As you were about to walk out of the dressing room, Annabelle shouts “Good luck!”.

You hesitantly push open the stage door, standing before you, with his back turned, was an incredibly nervous Peter Parker. In one hand he held a bouquet of flowers and the other running through his brown, wavy hair.

“Peter?” You say softly, stepping lightly down the couple of stairs that led into the lobby.

As Peter turned around, his jaw dropped. You look even more stunning in person! Peter thought to himself.

“Wow, you’re beautiful.” Peter sighs, his eyes staring gracefully into yours. “The whole performance was beautiful…wow.” He smiles, handing you the bouquet. “Th-these are for you.” Peter stutters. For some reason he was suddenly nervous, his hands shaking as he gives you the flowers.

“Thank you, Pete.” You smile, accepting the beautiful flowers. You took a light sniff at the vibrant, fragrant buds.

“I’m so sorry that I’ve been MIA.” Peter spits out, his big, brown eyes looking at you sincerely.

“Peter, it’s okay. You were more than a little busy.” You chuckle, walking closer to the boy, noticing a small bruise forming underneath his eye. “You’re here now, and that’s what matters.” You say, leaning in closer to Peter.

“You know, I really wanted to kiss you the other night.” He smiles, holding the sides of your face in his hands.

“I know.” You say, biting your lower lip as you look up at him.

“Is it too late?” He asks, a concerned look in his eyes.

“It’s never too late.” You reply, a smile growing across your lips. You felt as if you had a million butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. Your cheeks grew hot as Peter leaned in and pressed his soft lips to yours in a much-anticipated kiss.

You lean into his kiss, deepening it as your wrap your free hand around his neck.

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls the two of you away from your kiss. You peer over Peter’s shoulder and catch Pepper hitting your father with the programme from the recital.  Peter turns around quickly to see Tony standing there.

“Uhm, Mr. Stark, I can explain-“ Peter stutters, anxiously running his hand through his hair. He was slightly embarrassed to be caught by your dad.

“There is no need, Peter.” Pepper smiles, interrupting whatever Tony was about to say. She walks over and gives you a big hug and a kiss on the head. “You were incredible, kiddo. Can I take a picture of you and Peter, with those beautiful flowers?” Pepper winks as she lines up the two of you and snaps a photo with her phone. “Tony, why don’t you step in with them.” Pepper asks, but it came out sounding more like a demand. He walks behind the two of you and places a hand on your shoulder. Once Pepper had finished taking photos, he turns you to face him.

“I’m so proud of you, kid.” He says with a tear in his eye. “Thanks dad.” You smile, giving him a giant hug. Tony wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you in closer. “Your grandmother would have been so proud.” He whispers in your ear.

 --------------------------------

The following morning, your dad woke up early to cook you breakfast. You woke up to the aroma of bacon filling the air. As you entered the kitchen, you saw your dad wearing Pepper’s pink, frilly apron as he flipped bacon in the pan.

“Morning dad.” You smile, sitting on one of the bar stools that was directly in front of the stove.

“Mornin’ kiddo. I thought the two of us could sit and chat over breakfast?” He says happily, a nervous gaze in his eye.

“I’d love that, dad.” You smile. The fact that your dad was attempting to make things better meant the world to you.

Once breakfast was ready, the two of you sat across from each other at the table, making silly faces at each other until one of you broke down laughing. Having broken the tension through that childhood game, Tony clears his throat and gazes at you with a serious look.

“I’m sorry that I have been absent, Y/N. I am so sorry. I know I’ve been an ass lately but it’s no excuse. I’m your dad and I should have been there for you. I felt like I was being replaced, but I had forgotten what it was like to be a teenager, captivated in my own life. Busy with school and friends, falling in love with not only people, but passions. I’m sorry. It’s a tough time and my dad bailed on me when I was your age, and I realized that the last thing I wanted was to become like my father. I let myself down, but even worse, I let you down.” He sighs, a lump forming in his throat.

You take his rough hand in yours, and smile.

“It’s okay, dad. I understand. I’m just happy that we are here, together, now. And that you came last night. That’s all I need.” You reply. You were just relieved to have your dad back.

“Well, since that’s cleared up…what’s the deal with Parker?” He asks sternly, a cool look in his eye.

“I have no clue.” You sigh, thinking about the kiss last night.

“What do you mean ‘I have no clue’!” Tony mocks in a high-pitched tone. “Clearly, you and spiderling are into each other.”

“Easy there, dad. I wouldn’t go that far-“ “Kid, the two of you were practically on top of each other last night. Invite the kid over and talk to him.” Tony laughs.

“You won’t be mad? Like, if we were to date?” You ask shyly, worried at what your father’s reaction might be.

“Why would I be mad? Peter is a great kid, who has excellent marks in school and a great heart. He’ll take care of you, he’s already proven that to me.” Tony smiles, squeezing your hand gently.

“But I thought because of mom-“

“Look, there is more to that story than you know. You are not your mother. Pepper, myself and your grandmother raised you to be better than that. I was in a bad place at that time…Peter is nothing like me. I’ll tell you the rest over a glass of rye when you’re of legal drinking age.” Tony laughs, “So? Are you going to call him, or do I have to do it for you?”

With a gulp, you pull out your phone and text Peter, asking him to come over around noon.

“There. I did it.” You sigh anxiously as you hit send. Within seconds, your phone buzzed with a reply from Peter.

Pete 💖: I’m in the area, could I swing over now?

Looking up at your dad, “Peter said he’s in the area and asked if he could swing by now? Would you mind?” You ask politely. “I just don’t want to step on your toes- “ “Baby girl, go for it. I guarantee you that he’s been hovering around the Tower all morning.” Tony smirks, having known this as a fact.

Peter was caught on the security cameras numerous times this morning, as he had been anxiously swinging around, wanting to come in and talk to you, but his nerves had gotten the best of him.

Peter wanted so desperately to tell you all his feelings. Aunt May had encouraged him to go over and talk to you, but he was so caught in his own head that receiving your text had given him the boost that he needed.

The elevator doors opened and revealed an incredibly nervous Peter Parker.

You had no idea how he could be so brave and outrageous when he wore the Spider suit but when it was just Peter, he became so shy and vulnerable.

“Mornin’ Parker!” Tony hollers, frightening the timid spider-boy.

“Good m-morning, Mr. Stark. Is Y/N home?” He asks politely.

You pop your head from around the table and smile.

“Mornin’ Pete!” You reply cheerily. “Wanna go for a walk?”

This gave you two the chance to be alone without your parents eavesdropping on the two of you.

With a relieved smile on his face, Peter agrees and follows you to the elevator.

[douxreviews]

Quantum Leap - Season Four Review

Since season three was mostly leaps of the week, they made an attempt to shake things up with season four by playing with the formula a bit.

But as always, Quantum Leap is at its best when it does arc episodes about Sam and Al, as they again did in the premiere and the finale. There were a few other strong episodes as well.

4.1 "The Leap Back" (June 15, 1945)": In the fourth season premiere, Sam got to play a brand new character: Dr. Sam Beckett. For the past three seasons, we've been leaping with a Sam who had partial amnesia and was completely disconnected from his real life. Here, he was finally dynamic, brilliant scientist Sam, and surprisingly, married Sam.

Mimi Kuzyk did a terrific job as Sam's wife Donna, another brilliant scientist who kept her existence a secret from leaping Sam because she knew that it would make it harder for him to complete his missions. That was darned selfless of her, and that made her feel worthy of him in short order, since our Sam is quite a guy. I also thought Donna waiting for Sam gave us an obvious parallel to Beth, who waited years for prisoner of war Al to come back from Vietnam.

We finally got a lengthy visit to the actual Quantum Leap Project, with interior decoration that made it look as if Al's handlink exploded. We finally met Gooshie, Dr. Beeks and Ziggy, who changed gender in this episode. As Sam became reacquainted with his life and his wife, he and Al reversed roles and Al got to be the leaper who had to fix what once went wrong (and in Al's lifetime, 1945), while Sam's glee as he got to be the hologram was adorably funny. "Revenge is mine. Thus sayeth the hologram!"

Of course, Sam had to re-leap to save Al, so the status quo was too quickly re-attained. Honestly, I would have loved seeing Sam at home and observing and Al leaping for a few episodes.

4.6 "Raped (June 20, 1980)": You'd think an episode about a man occupying the body of a young woman who'd been raped would be uncomfortable, awkward, preachy, and/or cliched — but no. Instead, it was one of the best episodes of the series, because they did it right.

Sam leaped in because Katie, the victim, was having difficulty testifying against her attacker. Scott Bakula's performance as Sam in Katie's body was terrific; calm and matter of fact, Sam fought on Katie's behalf, refusing to accept the way the townspeople and police kept blaming the victim.

Although I always dislike the way trials on television seem to happen instantly after a crime, the strongest scene was Sam testifying on the stand by simply repeating Katie's own words, as Al held her hand. Even though the reason Al did that was so that Sam could see her, it was also a physical way of showing Al and Sam showing their support of Katie. Excellent episode.

4.7 "The Wrong Stuff (January 24, 1961)": Quantum Leap took on animal experimentation as Sam leaped into a test chimp, and they did a good job acknowledging all aspects of a difficult topic. This is the only episode in which Sam leaps into a non-human. I really liked the little nod to Planet of the Apes when Sam tried to write a note.

4.22 "A Leap for Lisa (June 25, 1957)": The lesson of "A Leap for Lisa" is that whenever they go back to the well and do an episode about Al's past, it's a winner. I'd mostly forgotten this one and it was such a pleasant surprise, the best episode in the season, with the possible exception of "Raped."

Sam leaped into 23-year-old Al and it appeared that he was supposed to save Al's married girlfriend Lisa from dying in a car crash, but Al was so bemused by encountering his younger self in the waiting room that he arrived late, in time to watch Lisa die. Sam's interference changed history so that Al would be convicted of the murder of his commander's wife, Marci, and at one point, when probability went up to 100% that Al would die in the gas chamber, the hologram of Al vanished and was replaced by another observer named St. John (Roddy McDowall, and I loved that they brought in an A-list actor to play the part). When Sam solved the murder, young Al had to leap into his earlier self in order to save himself, Lisa and Marci.

It was so much fun to see Al talking to "Bingo," his younger self, in the waiting room. It was also fascinating that Sam initially leaped into Al in the middle of a From Here to Eternity erotic dream on the beach, too. Has Sam ever leaped into someone dreaming before? Did that happen because his mind is linked to Al's?

What's also fun is how this episode inadvertently relates to Star Trek. Charles Rocket's character was called "Commander Riker," a character on Star Trek: The Next Generation; Terry Farrell, who played Lisa, would join the cast of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine the following year (1993), and of course, Scott Bakula went on to star in Star Trek: Enterprise in 2001.

Honorable mention

4.11 "The Play's the Thing (September 9, 1969)": A nice episode about ageism. I liked how Sam saw nothing wrong with being a younger man in love with an older woman, and how he immediately and passionately defended Jane's choices and helped her achieve her dreams. Anna Gunn from Breaking Bad had a nice supporting role as Jane's daughter in law.

4.15 "A Song for the Soul (April 7, 1963)": Scott Bakula in an African American girl group, as he backed up the daughter of a preacher who wanted to break into the big time. (The daughter, not the preacher.) This one was sweet. Plus I think it was the first time Sam leaped into a black woman. I particularly liked the sedate gray outfit Al wore in church. (Well, "sedate" for Al.)

4.16 "Ghost Ship (August 13, 1956)": Despite an occasional uncomfortable resemblance to Airplane!, this was a good one about a plane stuck in the Bermuda Triangle. It also featured a very young Carla Gugino.

4.19 "Moments to Live (May 4, 1985)": Sam leaped into a star of daytime drama, and Kathleen Wilhoite and Pruitt Taylor Vince kidnapped him for embarrassing reasons. Well written with good acting, and I'm glad that they (mostly) didn't play kidnapping and mental illness for laughs.

What didn't work

There were a few episodes that I thought were poor, and a couple that made me outright uncomfortable. Starting with...

4.12 "Running for Honor (June 11, 1964)": Al as a homophobe? Yes, I get that even somewhat recently, a majority of people were against gays in the military, but I'd like to think that anyone who dressed the way Al did would be a bit more open-minded. At least Sam was understandably disgusted by his attitude and what happened in the episode changed Al's mind, and I doubt anyone would do an episode like this today. We've come a long way in 25 years.

4.13 "Temptation Eyes (February 1, 1985)": Another attempt to do something new, although I don't think it worked. Tamlyn Tomita played a genuine psychic who fell in love with the real Sam, he fell for her, and they actually got to spend a few weeks together. But the acting and writing were poor and cliched, making it more of a miss than a hit. And that's too bad, because I'd always thought it would be nice if Sam got a vacation in the middle of all that leaping.

4.14 "The Last Gunfighter (November 28, 1957)": My word, this one was terrible. It was like they wanted to do an old west shoot-out but couldn't, so they did it anyway. What town in 1957, even one with a corrupt sheriff, would allow two old men to have a gunfight in the center of town? Innocent bystanders, anyone?

4.18 "It's a Wonderful Leap (May 10, 1958)": Another unsuccessful attempt at something new, this time with Liz Torres from Gilmore Girls as a genuine guardian angel. What bothered me more than I can say was Al doing fat jokes along with even worse Latino jokes. Liz Torres deserved better than this.

4.20 "The Curse of Ptah-Hotep (March 2, 1957)": Intended to be a rip-off of King Tut's tomb and Howard Carter with mysterious deaths, but with the budget of a one-hour TV show, anyone with any knowledge whatsoever of archaeology would find this episode painfully bad. I mean, the mummy comes to life and everything. And John Kapelos, who is usually pretty good, played an Egyptian archaeologist (the John Rhys-Davies role in Indiana Jones) with an accent that sounded like a cross between Russian and Spanish. I haven't finished rewatching the series yet, but this might be my least favorite Quantum Leap episode ever. Certainly my least favorite in season four.

Bits and pieces:

-- Notable actors (other than the ones already mentioned): Neal McDonough, James Morrison, Glenn Morshower, Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the age of ten, Harry Groener, Eriq LaSalle, Bob Saget and Amy Yasbeck.

-- Famous people: There was a little boy named Donald Trump in a New York City cab with his father in "It's a Wonderful Leap." I saw it coming and said out loud, "No, no, please don't."

-- As usual, there were a number of homages to movies, including The Rainmaker, The Defiant Ones, the Indiana Jones movies, and A Few Good Men.

To conclude

Although there were still many strong episodes in season four, I think seasons two and three were a bit stronger. Am I wrong?

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.

[brokemultidotexe]

Unexpected Pt.16

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You never expected your trip to Seoul to end up like it does. You didn’t expect to step off the plane and have coffee pour down your shirt. You also didn’t expect the guy to offer to show you around the city. You notice things about him that don’t quite make sense, like how he shows interest but will only see you when he has the time which is at random hours during the day and night. Who knew your only friend in Seoul would turn out to be an international star and just how difficult things could get.

Word Count: 3k

Warning: None

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10.5 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 14.5 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

“You what?” Jackson’s eyes were wide.

“I panicked!”

“You said thank you…you actually responded to his confession with thank you? Jesus Y/N.” Your cheeks went bright red. You hadn’t meant to say thank you but you panicked when he asked you to say something after you told him you didn’t know what to say to that. Instead of letting him know you felt the same you had freaked out and said thank you.

“Hey! You’re supposed to be helping me, not judging me.” You pointed at him.

“I’m sorry but the guy you’re in love with—“

“I’m not in love with him.” You interrupted him.

“Like I was saying, the guy you’re in love with confessed his feelings. Feelings that match up with yours. You’ve wanted to be with him for a long time, I just don’t get it.” He threw his hands up

You put your face in your hands. The look on JK’s face when he left still makes your chest ache. He had tried to cover the hurt on his face before he left and the two of you haven’t spoken to each other since then. Neither of you reaching out and making an effort to talk to the other. You were worried that JK hated you now. You had battled with yourself on whether to tell him how you felt even though it wouldn’t do any good, or just allow him to think that you didn’t feel the same way which would save you both from a lot of pain. You had never felt more conflicted in your life.

“If I tell him it’s just going to cause us more pain when I move back to America.” You pointed out.

“Well you gotta do something Y/N, the poor kid confessed and didn’t hear anything in reply. That would fuck with anyone, you included. You need to go talk to him and explain where your head is at, because all he knows is you don’t feel the same…which you do.” Jackson shook his head. “I swear girls are so confusing.”

“How many times do I have to tell you its more complicated than that. It’s not just black and white like you think it is. I truly am thinking about him when I say he doesn’t need to know. How do you think it’s going to go when I leave and he knows how I feel? Sunshine and rainbows? It will only hurt the both of us.” You ran your fingers through your hair and closed your eyes. You felt so emotionally exhausted.

“Then don’t move back home.” Jackson shrugged acting like it was the most obvious choice.

You rolled your eyes, “Be realistic Jackson.”

“I am. You’ve told me so many times that you love it here and it’s better than the life you had back in America. So I don’t understand why you have to go back? Yeah your family is back there, but we’re your family too Y/N.” he leaned back into the couch not taking his eyes off of you.

His comment about having family here in Korea made you smile, but you just didn’t see yourself being able to make such a move. Plus, you were starting to see the end of your funding that you had set aside for your trip to Korea. Part of you wanted to move but the thought of making such a huge move because a big factor is the fact you don’t want to leave your crush. You knew you would have to get used to him being gone for months or watching millions of girls be obsessed over JK.

“You need to tell him Y/N. Leaving him with that comment and nothing else is brutal. Call him or go see him, just do something.”

“Why are you pushing this so hard?”

“Because I know he makes you happy. I see a difference between the days you see him and the days you don’t. I’ve seen how broken you get when shit happens between you two. If I let your stubborn ass walk away from him then all I’m doing is allowing you to hurt yourself. I swear Y/N I will track him down myself and drag him back her and force the two of you to talk. So stop being stubborn and call him!” He seemed incredibly irritate and it took you by surprise. Sometimes you still thought there was tension when you would talk about JK.

“I don’t even know what I would say Jackson.”

“How about the truth? That would be a great place to start. You guys don’t have to act on it, but you should be honest about your feelings.” He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees and looked over at you. “Just do it Y/N, don’t overthink it.”

You nodded, “Okay.”

Jackson left once your conversation was finished and he wished you luck and that if you needed him to call him. You were so incredibly nervous and you didn’t know what to do about everything. The thought of you JK being open about how you feel just screamed bad idea. You didn’t want your heart broken if something were to happen. He’s surrounded by beautiful girls all the time and you were just a regular girl. When you moved back home it would crush both of you, because there would be no way to continue anything that was once between you. That thought alone caused your chest to ache in sadness even though it hasn’t even happened yet and it may never happen.

You grabbed your phone and decided to take Jackson’s advice. Your finger hovered over his picture on your screen, once you pressed it you would have to go through with everything you’ve been questioning. You took a deep breath and pressed the screen watching has his number popped up and the line started to ring.

“Hello?” a groggy voice floated through the phone.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were asleep. I’ll let you go.” You felt so guilty over waking him up

“No” he hurriedly said before you could hang up. “Just give me a second.” You heard rustling that sounded like blankets being moved.

“JK, really it’s okay you can just call me back when you wake up I-“

“Stop.” He interrupted and you stopped talking as you were told. When you heard his voice again he sounded less groggy, “okay, I’m good now. What’s up?”

“Umm…I was hoping that maybe we could talk?” you chewed the inside of your cheek waiting for his reply, which didn’t take long.

“About?” you knew that he was aware what you wanted to talk about.

“Please don’t that. You know what I want to talk about.” You said almost as a whisper.

He sighed, “What do you want to talk about? You made it clear you don’t feel the same, which is fine. I just need a day or two to brush it off.”

You bit your lip, “Would you meet me at the river?”

“Y/N it’s almost midnight, you don’t need to be traveling there alone.”

“I’ve done it before and never had a problem, plus I know you’ll be waiting for me right outside the subway like always. Please? I don’t want to have this conversation on the phone, I’d like to do it face to face.”

JK sighed, “You really don’t have to explain it to me I-“

“I’ll be getting on the next subway to go to the river whether you’re waiting for me or not.” You didn’t know where the boldness came from, but you really did want a chance to explain yourself especially now that you’ve seen just how crushed he was by the way you handled everything. “Hopefully I’ll see you in a bit.” You hung up the phone. You let out a breath you didn’t even know that you were holding.

You grabbed a coat and everything else that you would need to get to the river and headed out of your apartment. You were pretty sure that JK would show up just because he’s so overprotective which at this point it time was working in your favor for once. After a quick subway ride into Seoul you got out at the stop closest to the river. You made your way up the stairs to the street above and he caught your eye before you had even made it to the top. It was like your body and mind had become so accustomed to him that you could pick him out in a crowd. This time was no different because he was in a hoodie with a hat and his trusty face mask.

“I swear to god you will take years off my life.” He was scolding you before you even made it to him and you bit your lip feeling bad about making him worry, but he was here and you would be able to explain and that’s all that mattered to you. You walked up to him and just wrapped your arms around him. After a few seconds you felt his body sag and wrap his arms around you and placing a quick kiss on the top of your head, “Seriously don’t do that again.” You nodded.

“Let’s go for a walk” you mumbled into his hoodie. He dropped his hold on you but left his arm around your shoulders. It became difficult to navigate around people so he dropped his arm and instead opted to hold your hand immediately lacing your fingers together. Your heart started racing because in the whole time that you’ve known each other he’s never held your hand like that, and it felt oddly intimate.

It didn’t take long to get to the river and even though you’d been there multiple times it still took your breath away when its late at night and the water and lights spray from the bridge. While walking with JK in a mask was nostalgic you couldn’t help but wish he didn’t have to do that. That you could go somewhere and actually get to see his smile. That was another thing that you would probably never get to do. “So you wanted to talk?” he dropped your hand and the two of you walked beside the river until you sat down in the same spot you always did.

“When you told me how you felt, I panicked. All I can think about is the pain that would come from it in the end. Eventually I have to go back to America and then what? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for you JK. But admitting it is hard, not because of anything bad but because knowing we feel the same only strengthens the want to be together and we can’t do that.”

“Why not? I get the thing about you leaving, but can’t we deal with that when we come to it? You’re already dismissing the thought of dating before even giving it a chance.” He pointed out.

“You just told me that you’re going on tour. You’ll be gone for months and you want me to sit here and wait for you to return? How is that fair?” you pulled your knees to your chest, this whole conversation made you feel uncomfortable.

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll fly you out to some of the shows or come back to Seoul when we have a few days off. I’m willing to find a way to make it work Y/N. I would do everything I could to make sure you’re happy.” You could see just how bad he wanted to make a relationship work between the two of you and it made your heart race for a few reasons, not all of them good.

“It’s not that easy. Do you have any idea what it would be like to have literally millions of girls lusting after you and I have to just sit back and deal with it?”

“They want the guy they see on stage, not the real me. Not the one that’s awful at cooking or one that refuses to share the blankets. They don’t know the real me Y/N, but you do. They can want me all they want but that doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. I haven’t looked at another girl since I spilled my coffee on you. You’ve completely turned my world upside down and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes I have fans, and they’re very passionate but please don’t make that the reason you won’t give us a chance.” He reached out and tucked a piece of hair that was being blown by the wind behind your ear.

“I can’t compete with the girls around you all the time.” You refused to meet his gaze.

“What girls? The only girls I’m ever around constantly is the staff and we both know I’m too shy and awkward to even look at any other girls around me at any music show. I have you, what else would I need? And this stands true even if you decide not to be with me. I don’t know how many times I can say that I don’t want anyone else, I just want you.”

You buried your face in your hands. You didn’t like that fact that he was persuading you more and more. You didn’t think that you’d be able to go through the heartbreak when you left to go back home. “JK, you’re going on tour and eventually I have to go home. It wouldn’t work, all it would do is cause extreme heartbreak for the both of us.”

“It’s moments like this where I really question if being an artist is worth it. I love what I do but I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. It drives me crazy because I know it should be really easy to choose my career that I’ve wanted for so long, but you tell me these things and then I see what Jackson can do with you and it’s so frustrating. All I want is to be able to be with you and do normal things with you.” He sighed.

“The media would find out JK. Your fans wouldn’t be happy and I would probably be called every name under the sun just because I fell for you. None of that sounds appealing, in the exception of being with you. It’s not easy for me to say no to this because I’ve wanted this just as long as you have, but I have to think about the future and what it would do to us.” You picked at the hole in your jeans. It felt like your heart was breaking inside your chest. You thought doing this face to face would be better but saying all of this to his face and watching the pain in his eyes was too much. Your chest ached and you felt so awful to be the one hurting him.

“Let me take you on a date, just one date. After that if you decide that you don’t want to be with me then fine. I’ll accept that and won’t bring it up again. Well, I’ll do my best not to bring it up again.” He put his hand under your chin making you look at him, “Please Y/N, let me at least experience what it would be like to be with you. Even if it’s only for a few hours it would be the best hours of my life.”

You bit your lip and continued to look at him, “JK I really d-“

“Please.” His whispered request sounded desperate and at that moment you felt your heart break. You tried your best to keep tears from falling but of course your emotions betrayed you and tears spilled over. “Hey, why are you crying?” he used the pad of his thumb and wiped the tears away.

“I’m so torn JK. I want you, believe me I really do. But I know if I ever had you as mine it would make the pain of leaving excruciating. Even the thought of being away for months while you’re on tour hurts. There are so many things working against us. I want to say yes to the date, I really do but JK-“ He had placed his thumb on your lips making you stop.

“Stop thinking so much and tell me what you want Y/N. Tell me what you really want.” He laid back in the grass leaving his hand on your thigh and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

You sighed, “You know what I want. I’ve already told you.”

“Not really. I’m hearing more of you don’t want to be with me than the fact you have feelings for me. So tell me what you want.” His thumb was brushing over your thigh while his eyes never left yours.

“You know I love you, but I’ve been in long distance relationships and it never works. Someone always gets hurt. I’ve been hurt so many times JK, I really do w-” JK had sat up and pulled your towards him before hooking a finger in your belt loop and pulling you over to him causing you to have to lift your leg. Within seconds you were straddling him and the two of you were face to face and the way he was looking at you was different.

JK pulled back some and took his mask off and let it fall between the two of you. He rested his forehead against yours, “Y/N listen to me. I’m serious when I say I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I know you’ve been hurt in the past but let me show you what real love is.” He lifted his hand to your face and ran a thumb under your eyes again wiping away the last bit of tears tracks from earlier. “I want you to know just how much you mean to me and that I would do anything, and I mean anything, to make sure you always had a smile on your face. Because seeing you smile is one of the best parts of my day.” He kissed your temple, “I’ve been in love with you for months and I can’t let you walk away from this without even trying.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before giving him an answer, “Okay, one date.”

AN: Okay, whoa. I know it’s been a hot minute since i’ve updated but my life went to shit for a little bit and it was really hard to find time to write. This has literally been in the works for like two weeks i think. I hope you’ll forgive me and you enjoy the chapter. I’ll try my best not to make you wait as long, but we’re getting closer and closer to the final chapter so for everyone who has stayed with me through 16 chapters. I love you.

[thegallinisystem]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

One of my followers (*cough cough @almostasgayasstartrek ) challenged me to answer all of these questions, so buckle up.

1.      Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Sometimes. Usually only when I’m having a dissociative issue.

2.      On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

It depends on if I’ve recently watched a horror play through or not.

3.      The person you would never want to meet?

There are many. Pretty much anyone in politics.

4.      What is your favorite word?

Anything that’s easily rhymable.

5.      If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Red maple, because the leaves are vibrant and I have sweetness inside

6.      When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I don’t really look in the mirror unless I have to.

7.      What shirt are you wearing?

A blue shirt that has Chewbacca on it and says “Wookie of the Year”. Which is funny, because I don’t actually like Star Wars very much. But the shirt is comfy!

8.      What do you label yourself as?

Transgender, non-binary, queer, Ravenclaw, INFJ, compassionate, empath, neurodivergent

9.      Bright room or dark room?

Not too bright, but I prefer a lit room.

10.   What were you doing at midnight last night?

Believe it or not, sleeping. I know it’s hard to believe, especially for me.

11.   Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I would have to say 24. It was a good year.

12.   Who told you they loved you last?

My spouse.

13.   Your worst enemy?

Probably myself. I tend to sabotage myself a lot.

14.   What is your current desktop picture?

(insert desktop photo here)

15.   Do you like someone?

Yes actually. Sometimes it hurts being polyromantic, because even though I’m currently in a relationship, we’ve all talked about having romantic relationships with others. So there’s this person I like who I met a couple months ago, but I know they’re not ready or interested in a relationship and I don’t know if they ever will be. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve had to deal with unrequited love.

16.   The last song you listened to?

https://soundcloud.com/tophouserecordings/bass-farmers-unsettling-ft-nathan-brumley-original-mix

17.   You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

My father. Because then he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone and hopefully he’s got life insurance, which would help the rest of my family.

18.   Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Mostly all of the politicians in power right now, save a couple of senators who aren’t incredibly evil.

19.   If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Jeff Bezos. Firstly, he’d transfer me and each of my friends $1 million. Then, he’d sign a legally binding contract changing how things work at Amazon so that employees actually get what they deserve. Then, he would pay to end world hunger and create housing for the homeless. He’d also pay for all of the people who are trying to transition to get the surgeries they need. I would find a way to do all of this in a legally binding way so that he couldn’t come back and try to sue once the day is over.

20.   What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

It’s not great at the moment, but I take a lot of pride in my hair.

 21.   If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

There is a flaw with this question in that it assumes there are only two genders or sexes, and therefore there can be an opposite. The spectrum is wide and diverse biologically and narrowing it down to simply what genetalia you have on the outside is a disservice to that diversity.

22.   Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I have the ability to bring a crowd wherever I go. People call me a trendsetter, but it’s happened so many times that it’s uncanny.

 23.   What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Having the people around me turn out to be like the abusive people in my past. It hasn’t actually happened since 2013, but I’ve had some close calls and they’ve been terrifying.

 24.   You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Well firstly, we’ll start with toasted gluten free bread because of my stomach. Then, we’ll do cracked pepper turkey with mayo and Dijon mustard. Toss in some spinach, lettuce, tomato, red onion, and pickles and you’ve got a great sandwich.

 25.   You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

 Putting it in my top surgery fund, which you can find here!

26.   You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Anywhere with a beach would be great by me.

 27.   An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

 Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac because one bottle of the stuff is worth nearly $2 million and I could sell it and be set for life. (I don’t drink so actually having it for me wouldn’t do me any good)

 28.   You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

Everyone gets equal rights. Period.

 29.   What is your favorite expletive?

Oh Nut!

30.   Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

I would either grab my laptop or reginald (insert picture of reginald here). It’s a serious debate for me, because reginald is my prized possession. But my laptop has a whole bunch of stuff on it that I really don’t want to lose.

31.   You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Trump getting elected.

32.   You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

That is the COOLEST reason for getting kicked out of the country. Honestly, if I had the money, I’d take my family and move to Europe where they have universal healthcare and know that human rights are for everyone.

33.   The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

I would totally hang out with Death from The Sandman, she’s amazing. I’m not sure I would bring anyone back, because bringing people back from the dead has a whole bunch of repercussions that I don’t think we really know how to deal with.

34.   What was your last dream about?

I don’t really remember my dreams that well.

35.   Are you a good chopstick user?

I’d say so. When I have the option of using chopsticks, 9 times out of 10 I will because I can feed myself with them. I’m not good enough that I’m confident I don’t make faux paus though.

 36.   Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yes, I was admitted to a mental facility twice this past year.

37.   Have you ever built a snowman?

I built several as a kid! One in my backyard lasted for a good couple of weeks.

38.   What is the color of your socks?

Not currently wearing socks.

 39.   What type of music do you like?

Depends on my mood, but I’m almost always in the mood for some electronica.

 40.   Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I think sunrises are prettier, but I don’t like being awake at the time of day that they usually happen.

41.   What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Chocolate malt

42.   What football team do you support?

None? I don’t like football.

43.   Do you have any scars?

I’ve got several on my knees from when I was a kid and played outside all the time. I’ve also got a few on my arms from self harm.

44.   What do you want to be when you graduate?

I graduated 4 years ago, so this question is moot.

45.   If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

The severity of my mental illness.

46.   Are you reliable?

I don’t feel like I am. My poor physical and mental health means that I have to back out of things a lot and I hate it.

47.   If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

What helped you heal from the trauma of my past.

48.   Do you hold grudges?

Not usually.

49.   If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A dog that lives longer than 12 years in a healthy way. I know that the question is looking for something like a liger, but this is more fun.

 50.   What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I’ve had a lot of unusual conversations, so it’ll be hard to pick.

 51.   Are you a good liar?

I can be, but not if it’s for a game. Usually only when I’m trying to hide my mental or emotional health, which I haven’t done for a couple months.

 52.   How long could you go without talking?

I have gone several days without talking.

 53.   What has been you worst haircut/style?

I went to a super cuts once and the hairdresser gave me the choppiest haircut ever and a bunch of the strands weren’t even the same length. It was horrible.

 54.   Have you ever baked your own cake?

I’ve actually done it a lot more lately because of my allergies.

 55.   Can you do any accents other than your own?

Not well.

 56.   What do you like on your toast?

Peanut butter.

 57.   What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

I was trying to express something in therapy so it was more of an abstract piece.

 58.   What would be you dream car?

Something with amazing gas mileage.

 59.   Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sometimes do oil pulling, where I swish coconut oil around in my mouth.

 60.   Do you believe in aliens?

Oh boy do I. I wrote a ton of poems about aliens in high school.

 61.   Do you often read your horoscope?

No. I don’t really believe in horoscopes.

 62.   What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

X! It’s my gender marker now!

 63.   Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

How about yes.

 64.   What do you think about babies?

I don’t really care for them and I’m definitely not having any of my own.

 65.   Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

If you qualified for a wish from the make a wish foundation, what would your wish be?

I’ve thought about this one a lot, actually. When I was younger, I probably would have done something with animals, like being able to take care of them or go behind the scenes or something. I didn’t care much about the money or the big grandiose wishes like what I have now. I think I was a simple child.

[warrensb]

Prologue - What Am I Doing Here?

July 15, 2006. 

Mahmoud’s feet smell. 

A stale, sweaty fug fills the cab. It’s a sticky Saturday night in mid-July, so the windows are rolled up and the air-conditioning is blasting. It’s keeping us cool but only serves to circulate the smell. I tell him I’d rather have some fresh air and roll down the window. 

“It’s okay,” he says, turning off the A/C. “I stink, don’t I?” 

He sounds embarrassed but also unapologetic, which suggests that while he does care, there’s also nothing he can do about it right now. Briefly, I feel chastened. 

“Sorry about that,” he continues, “but it’s been so busy that I haven’t had time to shower since Wednesday.”

He hasn’t had time to sleep much, either. Ever since the war between Israel and Hezbollah broke out on Thursday morning - claiming Lebanon’s only international airport as its first victim - life has been frenetic for the taxi drivers plying the Beirut-Damascus route. Mahmoud’s been shuttling back and forth in his big yellow cab four, maybe five times a day.

“Thursday and Friday were crazy. I had Saudi tourists fighting to get a seat. They were offering me anything to get out. Some trips, I had 8 or 9 passengers at a time, sitting on top of each another. I haven’t even had time even to change my clothes.”

I tell him not to worry. I don’t really care and besides, I have much larger concerns. Like whether we will get to Beirut in one piece, what with the Israeli air force patrolling the skies, blowing up roads and bridges all over the country. Besides, without Mahmoud and his fragrant feet, I’d still be standing outside the Syrian border post at Jdeidet Yabous. 

Like the rest of the world, the July 2006 War caught me off-guard. When I’d left Beirut 10 days earlier on assignment to write a guidebook on Dubai for Wallpaper Magazine, the city had been in full summer season swing, chock full of Gulf tourists who come to summer in the cooler climes of Lebanon’s mountains. 

Small at the best of times, Beirut had been bursting at the seams. Bumper-to-bumper traffic and restaurants so crowded that even places that never asked for reservations had waiting lists. It was the city’s busiest tourist season since 1974, the year before Lebanon plunged into the decade and a half of civil and not-so-civil wars that turned it into a household word for urban hell.

This reputation was something Beirut still struggled to escape, even though by the time I first turned up in 1998, eight years after the fighting ended, it was already out of date. By 2006, the city had recovered most of its pre-war swing and if it was not entirely at peace with itself, it was only in the breathless opening paragraphs of nostalgic war correspondents who last visited in the 80’s (and their younger wannabe protégées), that it was still a dangerous place to be.

Which is not to say that sometimes, bad old Beirut didn’t resurface. The previous 18 months had been extremely rough, even by Lebanese standards. On Valentine’s Day the year before, the former Prime Minister Rafic al-Hariri and 33 others had been murdered in a massive car-bomb attack on Beirut’s seafront. That act was so callous, it brought over a million Lebanese - a quarter of the population - out onto the streets, demanding justice and that the Syrian Army, which had been occupying the country for almost 30 years, go home. After months of protests, as well as counter protests by factions that profited from the status quo, the withdrawal had finally happened, much to everyone’s disbelief.

A string of car-bombings followed. As these were exclusively targeted at cultural and political figures known for their opposition to Syrian control of Lebanon, it was often assumed that these were Damascus’ parting gifts to the Lebanese. 

Despite this, in late June 2006, as I began to plan my trip to Dubai, the country seemed so buoyant that for the first time in eight years, I hadn’t felt the need to keep an eye on the news while I was away. 

On Thursday the 13th, the day before I was due to fly home, the friend I was staying with in Dubai mentioned something about a ‘flare-up’ along Lebanon’s southern border. There wasn’t much online, so I switched on the TV and tuned into a Lebanese satellite channel just in time to see Israeli fighter jets blow craters into both runways at Beirut International. 

For the next few hours, no one was sure whether this first round would escalate or if Israel, having instantly severed Lebanon’s only air bridge to the outside world, felt it had delivered its latest ‘message’. 

Almost immediately, repair crews were out trying to fill in the holes so that planes could resume landing. Just as they finished, Israeli jets returned and made even bigger holes. Tel Aviv obviously intended for Lebanon’s only international airport to stay shut. Then, they began bombing the rest of the country.

I spent most of the day on the phone, calling friends to make sure they were safe and trying to reach Lebanon’s national carrier, Middle East Airways, to find out how I was going to get home. By the evening, I still didn’t know. The following day, the start of the weekend in Dubai, the MEA offices were closed and the helpline at the airport in Beirut went straight to answer phone. I called the MEA office in Beirut only to get a pre-recorded message explaining that they were working on finding alternate ways of getting passengers home and that I should call again later.

The only real possibility was for MEA to re-route to Damascus but as I discovered when I finally got someone on the phone the following morning, for reasons best known to themselves and which possibly involved pique over having been forced out the previous year, the Syrians weren’t allowing this to happen. I was told apologetically that all MEA could do under the circumstance was to fly me to Cyprus or Jordan.

As the ferry services to Cyprus had not run since the 1980’s and landing in Amman would mean going overland through Syria anyway, the quickest way back into Lebanon was to fly directly to Damascus. 

If Syria decided to close the border at Jdeidet Yabous, which it might do if the Israelis followed up the airstrikes with an invasion, I would be cut off. If Israel extended its airstrikes to Syria, as it had threatened to do in the past in the event of renewed conflict with Lebanon, there would be no way back. I had no intention of sitting the conflict out in Dubai. I couldn’t afford to wait. I ditched the MEA ticket, booked a one-way flight with Emirates and a few hours later, was on my way.

The plane was practically empty, just three Syrian businessmen, a couple of ashen-faced Lebanese, a Kuwaiti on his way to find his brother, who had been summering in Lebanon but wasn’t answering his phone and a Saudi on his way to his villa in the mountains to rescue his terrified wife and children. Like me, they spent most of the time in the departure lounge making calls.

I still faced the issue of how I was going to get into Syria. Journalists are required to obtain special visas, regardless of their reason for visiting. Most came through in a couple of days but mine always seemed to take a bit longer.

As I couldn’t afford a delay, I took a gamble. Rather than follow procedure, I decided my best bet was to force the issue by presenting my arrival as a fait accompli. Calling the Syrian Ministry of Information just as I boarded, I told them that I was enroute to Damascus, that I wanted to back into Lebanon and would they please issue me permission to travel from the airport to the border?

“I arrive in four hours,” I told the poor, befuddled assistant. “I’ll need a transit visa on arrival.” 

Before she could protest, I hung up. My heart was pounding. There was no guarantee this would work. The Syrians were under no obligation to let me in to their country and legally, had the right to deport me but I was banking on the exceptional circumstances warranting an equally exceptional response.

By the time I landed, my visa was waiting. Coasting through Immigrations, I jumped into a cab and was at Jdeidet Yabous barely forty minutes later. I needn’t have hurried. It didn’t look like there was anyone here but us. 

I’d sensed on the drive out that the cabbie, who’d boldly informed me at the airport that he’d take me all the way to Tel Aviv if I wanted, was having second thoughts. When he asked for half the fare upfront as we pulled up at passport control, I had a feeling he might not be there when I came out. 

For the second time that day, Syrian officialdom was efficient and gracious. After a few questions, asked with a touching concern that nevertheless made it clear I must be entirely mad to voluntarily drive into a war, the border police stamped my passport and sent me on my way with an Allah ma’ak. 

God be with you. 

If ever there were a time to be a believer, it was now.

Leaving the building, my suspicion was confirmed.  The taxi had vanished. Thankfully, my bag hadn’t and was sat on the pavement. Waiting next to it was a rather embarrassed stranger. He apologised as I walked over and told me the driver had asked him to tell me that ‘something had come up’, so he’d had to rush back to Damascus. 

We both knew that was a big fat lie but honestly, who could blame the guy? Who in their right mind would drive into a war voluntarily, anyway? I briefly wondered if I’d finally lost mine. But there was no time for that now. I was already checked out of Syria.

Wishing me luck, the stranger ambled off in the direction of a nearby café. It looked like it was closed.

“Hey,” I yelled after him, “don’t suppose you’ve got a car and fancy a drive to Beirut, do you?”

He turned and gave me a goofy smile and a kind of Charlie Chaplin shrug, which made us both laugh.

“God be with you, khaweja,” he said, using an old word variously used as an honorific or as a polite term for a foreigner. “See you some day in Beirut, maybe.”

Maybe. But the border post at Masna’a was eight kilometres away and there wasn’t exactly a steady stream of traffic heading in that direction. Probably because one of the air strikes that morning had targeted a small convoy of cars at the Lebanese border post. They’d been incinerated. 

It was almost sunset. Briefly, I considered walking to Masna’a, but with night on its way, the idea of getting caught in the dark wandering around in the middle of a war in the strip of no-man’s land between the Lebanon and Syria, didn’t seem very clever. 

A warm wind blew up the road from Lebanon. But the air was the only thing that was moving. The highway was so deserted and dusty that if tumbleweeds had rolled by, I wouldn’t have blinked. I dug a warm bottle of water out of my backpack and sat on my case. There was no choice. I needed transportation of some kind, so I settled in and prepared to wait.

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 3

You might want to go back and read Parts One and Two before you read this.  Or not. I’m not judging.

We have now reached the point in You Don’t Know Me where I literally gave up and just started screaming into the void. I’m going to warn you right now that this book needs a trigger warning for the following: Dubious Consent, Drug Use, Suicide, Suicide Ideation, and Unsafe Sex Practices. Needless to say this is NSFW. All of which happen in this 25% portion of the book. If you think that’s a lot... well you’re not wrong.

Last time we had an almost sex scene. Then the next day Jenna and Rue pack up their things to head back to LA when Jack suggests that if Jenna and Rue want to party, they should go to Ibiza. That’s right. Ibiza. In Spain.

Jenna and Rue think that’s a smashing idea because they haven’t learned yet that Jack is the enemy. Even though he’s done everything short of growing a mustache and cackling evilly while he twirls it. 

But that brings into focus one of Faleena Hopkins’ big problems: overstretching suspension of disbelief.

So here comes a rant. I suppose it is POSSIBLE that both Rue and Jenna flew from LA to NYC with their passports, assuming they even have them. But it’s not probable. Let’s look at the facts.

Both of them are poor and working minimum wage jobs while trying to get gigs as dancers (something that doesn’t pay much and has a high injury rate).

They had to have both traveled to NYC with their passports.

Most people, even those who have passports, use their State ID (driver’s license or ID card) to travel within the U.S. The exceptions are those whose states don’t have “rigorous” enough of ID standards.  But California is not one of them.

Passports are expensive and difficult to get. Most people, especially if they are pinching pennies to make ends meet like Rue was, won’t bother with the expense.

They BOTH had to decide “Hey, I’m bringing my passport with me!” Which considering the speed and lack of planning with the NYC trip is something that is really unlikely.

I fully admit I did search the book for Customs or Passport and didn’t get any hits. And don’t say, well they’re flying in a private plane they can bypass customs. I’m going to say, “Um, no.” After 9/11 you had better believe that loophole got plugged, assuming it was even leaking to begin with. It’s made doubly worse considering that they fly home on a commercial airliner.

Technically she didn’t do anything wrong, per se. She just expects the reader to go with it. It wouldn’t have taken much, just a quick mention - “Jenna and I grabbed our passports and headed out” - but there wasn’t even that. It’s lazy writing.

Speaking of.... Remember that foreshadowing problem in Part One?

Yep, Sean’s gay. (A later part makes that clear)

Then we get this gem:

So this book came out in 2015. Being gay isn’t the taboo it used to be. Especially not if your family is liberal (they’re known to have supported the Obama campaign). So there’s nothing really keeping Sean in the closet. There’s no indication that his family wouldn’t accept him or love him. And considering he works in the entertainment industry, he’d have a lot of support behind him.

Additionally and it needs to be fucking said...

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

There is nothing wrong with never having been in love.

What is wrong is the attitude toward these two things. What is wrong is the denial of who you are. What is wrong is the implication that there are only two ways a person who is gay can be, massively sexually active or completely celibate. There is just a lot wrong here.

There will be more rant later in my wrap up.

Yep... I don’t have words. Jack is an asshole. Rue is an idiot. Sean is too pure for this world, but the homophobia in this book is now becoming problematic.

She hasn’t said anything yet!  How do you know she’s Australian???!!!  Sophia is not an inherently Australian Name and like America, Australia has a pretty decent mix of nationalities. There is no blonde “Australian” look. Did you know that Rose Byrne and Rebel Wilson are Australian? That Geoffrey Rush and Errol Flynn are Australian?

They are.

It’s not like she has a map of Australia tattooed on her breasts. I’m pretty sure people would have noticed that.

Sigh...

Jack brought Sophia over in his continuing quest to fuck with Rue. And it does. Just not in the way you think. Jenna is definitely interested.

Unfortunately I was to be let down yet again.

Jenna and Sophia swap spit for a while. Then Sophia turns to Rue and asks her if she wants some Australian action. Rue accepts because she can’t say no to peer pressure.

This becomes relevant later.

The fact that Rue trusts Jack at all is frankly unbelievable at this point. There’s the whole fool me once mentality. She’s like Charlie Brown with magenta hair...

Yes Lucy is the one who is in the wrong. But if you keep giving chances to people and they keep being assholes, you need to stop giving them chances.

As for Jenna, sexiling your BFF in a strange country is a really crappy thing to do. You broke Woman-Code, girl.

On one hand, it’s pretty clear that Rue has no self-control and no common sense. On the other, it removes her agency, which is something I have issues with. Bartenders absolutely can stop serving (I have as a bartender) - in fact in some states they’re required by law to do so. But Sean isn’t the bartender. Sean’s her brother and practically a stranger (remember it’s only been 3-4 days since they first met) - he doesn’t have the right yet. Sean should have said something first before cutting her off. Talked to her. Treated her like the adult she is.

Then if she continues, it’s on her and he can step in to keep her from alcohol poisoning. Anyway, after she finishes her partying, she stumbles back upstairs to go to bed and runs into Alec who’s there with another woman, Maya. Thankfully Maya is kind of awesome and wants nothing to do with Alec, she was only there to keep Sean from flipping out. Because apparently after literally two days, Alec is obsessed with Rue and will do anything to possess her.

Think I’m wrong?

He flips out at her having a bi-curious kiss with Sophia.

On the list of things I wish I could get through romance authors’ heads, this is one of them.

The story heads into an honest to gods sex scene and I have to force my way through it. Because as I mentioned before, Rue has no alcohol tolerance and she’s been drinking. So this is literally non-consensual.  Yeah... rape is not my thing. And this, no matter how you try to package it, is rape.

From an objective level, the sex is meh. I’ve read hotter het sex written by lesbian virgins. I am not joking. The problem is that Hopkins repeats herself like crazy and skimps on the description and thoughts and feelings.

I also found this phrase;

super duper jarring. Like WTF-I’m-giggling-now jarring.

Note the percentage mark. Now while I don’t have a problem with this if there’s flirting and build up. The only build up we’ve gotten is some coitus interruptus and a whole lot of possessiveness. Technically you don’t even need to have sex in a romance. But with all of the lead up I’m starting to get annoyed. This isn’t erotica. This isn’t romance. It’s just a mess.

So I guess it depends on your definition of sex.

I know some people have issues with condom use in romance. But I happen to be of the mindset that you need to hang a lampshade on this. At least acknowledge that they’re choosing to take the chance. Or they don’t care. Something.

And considering who they are, it’s likely the latter. But this is a post-AIDS world. Condoms and birth-control should be a discussion point. Or at least acknowledged in some way. Like this: “As a dancer, Rue was on birth control. More for the lack of periods than out of any desire to prevent pregnancy, although that was a very welcome side-effect. Kids were not in the cards yet.” Just something.

The following morning -- at least I think it is... the book isn’t totally clear and I didn’t feel like rereading to make sure -- the group meets for breakfast/lunch down in the restaurant by the pool.

Jack saunters in and tosses a stack of tabloids and celebrity gossip magazines onto the table and then sits back and gloats. The headlines are cruel. Calling Rue a bastard (which she is). Her mother a whore (Which she is not!). Rue a spendthrift partying idiot (accurate). And a whole slew of names. Rue, understandably, gets upset and runs off. What is less understandable is that she jumps in the pool to escape the headlines.

While underwater she decides that it’s peaceful there and she’d just like to stay there.

So this is where I need to talk about one of my Jack of all Trades things.  I was a Red Cross Certified lifeguard. I kept my certification all through High School and College and used it to get jobs I otherwise couldn’t. We learned more than you ever wanted to know about drowning.  One of the biggies is that the human body does not want to breathe in water. It will convulse and shake to try to cough it out, which will often cause the person to breathe more in. It is not a peaceful way to die. It is violent. Painful. And I wouldn’t wish it on my enemies.

Eventually Rue drowns (the author says she changed her mind about it, but I did reread that part and if she did it must be really obscured because I sure didn’t get that impression at all).

Cut to Jack...

Sorry about the repeated usage of the word ass, I just didn’t feel like typing a 200 page rant on how Jack is everything wrong with this country into my iPad.   But yes, Jack is an ass. This time for essentially bullying his sister so badly that she felt that death was a good alternative.

I don’t care if he feels regret. There is no redemption arc long enough to make him a decent human being let alone a good one worth of admiration. He’s a user, an abuser, selfish, and conniving. He doesn’t even have a good backstory or consistent characterization. And he’s not played by Tom Felton, Tom Hiddleston, or Tom Hardy.

Eventually both he and Jenna realize Rue has disappeared. They notice a crowd of people by the pool and in the pool.

So most pool injuries are neck/head injuries caused by people diving in the shallow end. Lifeguards never grab around the waist. Now I’ll give you that Jack isn’t a lifeguard, but in a pool when you’re trying to save someone time does not disappear. It speeds up. Everything becomes hyper intense. And the water doesn’t fight you. Not in a pool.  In a river, yes. An ocean, hell yes.  Even lakes are problematic. Pools are easy.

The biggest problem with pools is that if someone is drowning you often get more unwanted help from people who because they’ve seen an episode of Baywatch think they know what they’re doing... but that’s another story.

Where’s the checking for a pulse? Also again... head injury.

I know Jack probably hasn’t had CPR training since High School but FFS the first thing you do is call for help and get professionals involved. The second is you check for a pulse. Oh and in 2010, CPR changed. Chest compressions were deemed more important than rescue breathing. And in a drowning victim, the chest compressions will often force the water out of the lungs.

We continue with CPR...

Rue will just end up bruised and maybe with a broken rib. And not the kind real CPR gives.

Through divine intervention and not Jack’s shoddy CPR techniques, Rue awakens and starts expelling pool water.

Is it sad that I have no faith that even the few things done right will get screwed up in the end?

Sadly, I’d rather watch The Room again... at least then I could count the spoons.

We switch heads to Alec and get some fun stereotyping.

Nitpick, I know. But at this point arguing with the book was my only joy.

So fun fact, drowning seriously fucks you up. And chlorinated water is even worse. You’ve still got creepy-crawlies, but you’ve also got chlorine. Which if you know your World War I history doesn’t mix well with human lungs. Pretty much everyone who actually drowns and is then resuscitated suffers from some form of pneumonia. It’s just a thing. Oh and people who have CPR performed on them have broken ribs. That is also just a thing. This doesn’t take into account potential brain damage from lack of oxygen, kidney damage, or other organ failure. Let me say it again. Drowning is not a fun way to go.

Also, why are they doing an MRI?  It should be a CAT Scan.  Also, chest x-rays for broken ribs.  Maybe an ultrasound.  I’m not a medical expert, this is actually something I don’t know much about, but I was in a car accident and one of the things they did was check my lungs to see if they were messed up.

If you can’t tell my suspension of disbelief has snapped completely and I’m just done.

Rue checks herself out of the hospital and then the shit hits the fan. Alec finds out about Jack’s plans and is pissed.

As much as I hate Jack, save the punching for Nazis. Also Alec, you are not lily-white in this whole thing.

A fact that finally comes to light.

Rue gets pissed and storms off. (Thankfully not into a pool)

Alec gets pissed and storms off.

And basically everyone is pissed at Jack. Including Sean who has disappeared for a time.

The next morning Alec, Jenna, and Rue check out of the hotel. But not before there is a cursory acknowledgement that Rue almost died.

I wasn’t lying when I said in my first post that I was reduced to screaming “This is not how this works!”

I really was.

Anyway, Alec pays for Rue’s room and she’s now all like “He really cares about me!” or maybe he feels guilty. Or who the fuck knows. All I know is that we’re not even at the 75% mark and I am dreading what happens next.

This post is starting to get out of hand so I’ll cut it off here.

Let’s just say that while the shit has hit the fan, the bullshit is still coming.

Thank the gods cockygate is over. Although apparently she’s not convinced she did anything wrong. And she sees herself as the victim...

Yeah...

If you feel sorry for us and want to contribute to our alcohol fund, you can buy us a kofi.

[bookwormguri]

Escape the Brothel- Recap 2

aka Fuck me in my stupid face. I can’t write short recaps to save my fucking life because EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.

I’ve imagined myself writing this or continuing to write this so often that sometimes I forgot I haven’t written down a single sentence in months. It’s easy to imagine I’m in an empty room with only four people, speaking into the microphone about a story that did happen, and some that didn’t. I did some long posts about the Background and First Session of my DnD game’s first arc, but here I am, over a year later trying to catch up. My memories are a little fuzzy because this happened OVER A YEAR AGO, but I’m sure my Players will correct me if I get anything wrong.

God save me.

Warnings: Violence, PvP, attempted rape, mentions of child abuse, prostitution, poor grammar.

The Players:

Terrance “Fitz” Fitzgeralt-Half-elf Barbarian tiny gay @fitzgeralt @yarking

Vekti White-Bear- Half-orc Sorcerer happy gay @autumninthenorth

Aritian- Aasimar Bard ??? gay @nyako-chan

Arc 1: Escape the Brothel

In my last recap, I left it off with the group’s first day of work finishing up. Now we are on to day two and beyond. Nyako was not there this time, thus the lack of a pretty Bard.

The first arc took place in the Deep Fantasia, located in the walled city Derwezeam. It’s the foremost brothel for those who want something specific or expensive or both. Working there is akin to slavery. Only the guards are allowed to leave the large, manor-like brothel and only at certain times. All workers are branded with a rune that will cast the Disintegrate spell if the person carrying it leaves the brothel and stays out of it for longer than 30 seconds. It first activates by becoming unusually warm when someone leaves it’s allowed range. One can buy their freedom, but it is difficult. However, some prefer their gilded cage to the uncertainty that permeates Derwezeam, a violent, corrupt and insatiable city to its core. My players are not such people. They are determined to escape and bring as many people as they can with them.

Locations: [Link].

First Floor- Includes the main floor, the kitchen, a meeting room in back, the vapors room and the dinning hall.

Servant’s Quarters- Nothing of particular interest here unless you go searching each person’s personal belongings. It isn’t until MUCH later the group discovers a Cloak of Protection as a hidden gem.

Second Floor- This is where (most) of the fucking happens, but also the guard barracks. They never get much sleep.

Third Floor- The whore’s rooms.

Fourth Floor- The Madame, Quofire (Head of the Servants) and Belward’s (Head Guard) chambers + other

Roof- A pretty, pretty garden

Krisatra and Vekti

Krisatra was the cranky, old den monther of the servants, but held only slightly more love for the servants than she did the guards or whores. She had a secret love for flowers that the players did not discover. She essentially unloaded her duties onto Vekti to set up the meeting room for some Very Important Visitors. Vekti was so sweet and obedient. Krisatra didn’t deserve her. This wasn’t in my original plans. I wanted to give my Players carte blanc to do and do whatever they wished in order to escape the brothel. I was terrified of railroading them. I still am to an extent, but I think this was my first lesson in that this group of Players was one that thrived with more direction, not less. Thus, I gave Vekti the instructions to be in a place where Plot was happening. That’s more fun for everyone, right?

Fitz pls Part 2 (w/ Hiraeth)

Vekti went to speak privately in the vapors room with Arara about the meeting. If I hadn’t rolled such poor stealth they would have never heard the disjointed clunk step clunk step clunk that was Hiraeth, the newest whore. She was acquired from the Rangers of Derwezeam after she suffered an accident that left her with only one leg. She had a metal leg as a placeholder (this leg is still with us in the current game, over a year later. How strange to think about).

After overhearing that a meeting would be taking place (aka those in power would be distracted), Hiraeth decided right then it was time to escape (I had originally planned for this to be several days later, but I decided to push it up so Plot could continue). To make sure Vekti and co didn’t realize she was eavesdropping she quickly hid under a table in the dining hall… where Fitz was.

Fitz said something akin to, “Well if you’re down there, you might as well give a blowjob.” Fitz, you sounded kinda rape-y. (EDIT: Trust me, knowing Fitz’ personality, it was not intended in that way, but that was how Hiraeth interpreted it. Fitz tried his best to do the right thing, but he had a Charisma of 9, so.....) Also questioning her about why she was hiding. Hiraeth wasn’t allowed to let anyone stop her from escaping so she knew if she had to snap this guy’s dick off with her teeth to not say anything, she absolutely would. This led to a wrestling match where Fitz ended up grappling her to the floor, much to Hiraeth’s displeasure. Cue Vekti popping in, seeing this, and breaking it up immediately via lifting Fitz up (it’s extra impressive when you remember Vekti is the squishy Sorcerer and Fitz is the stronk Barbarian).

Fitz and Vekti have ‘fun’ (note: backstabbing = fun)

Hiraeth runs without so much as a ‘thank you.’ She has things to plan thank you VERY MUCH. Vekti makes her displeasure about the situation known and eventually puts Fitz down.

Now, for context, Fitz’ past is… traumatic to say the least. It includes a lot of creative and terrible abuses towards him as a child, when he was unable to fight back. It was completely understandable to me as the DM knowing all his secrets why he would react poorly to being restrained against his will and carried around.

Vekti, poor dear, was none-the-wiser. She had just seen a grumpy half-elf that hasn’t been the nicest to her, pinning a girl down who obviously did not want to be pinned down. If it were me, can’t say I would have done any differently. If it were me, and Fitz decided to be stubborn about it, I 100% would have kicked him in the nose. Sorry Yark.

This friction led to delicious and amazing character conflict. I was floored by the roleplay of these two. But it led to Fitz snapping and attempting to backstab Vekti (with a fucking Greatsword mind you) when she went to walk away in a huff. Notice this, Fitz is not good at first, and often second, impressions. It’s a theme.

The Madame~

Since this time, my players have theorized I brought The Madame in at this time specifically to break the PvP fight up. I can confirm this as 100% true. I was legit terrified that this PvP would end with one character dead, especially at such low levels. I didn’t want the Players to feel like they had to fear for their character’s lives (yet), so I put a stop to that.

The Madame is the Deep Fantasia’s owner and the Big Bad for the first arc. Their character design is still one of my favorites; a white painted face, gold lips, lace as a half-face mask, a wide-brimmed hat, covered neck to feet in black, including gloves. I really wanted to emulate that this character WAS NOT to be trifled with, like they were something beyond the brothel and tiny scope of the Material Plane. Considering how terrified my Player were of them, I think I nailed it.

Long story short, The Madame broke up the fight by casting Blindness on both Vekti and Fitz. They had to be led back to their quarters and wait for it to wear off. Now that I have had time to truly develop The Madame’s character, motivations and goals I feel if we didn’t that scene again it would have gone much differently. Fitz would have for sure lost at least one finger or the use of his limbs for the week. That could have been fun. Would have gotten across the message “PvP is not allowed” too imo. We ended the session there, with Vekti and Fitz both blind and vulnerable.