#I am nothing if not bribable but like what??

[clingyduoapologist]

i will give you 10 dollar for sootcest deal?

????? Anon I have no fuckibg idea what prompted this but like??? Ok???

[prettyboypistol]

Can we see some head-canons of how the mercs would react to the reader asking to join them in the shower.

Asking The Mercs to Join You in The Shower || TF2 Mercs x M!Reader 18+ MDNI

Scout

"ahahaha without me bbg?" energy every time you say you're showering. As soon as you offer to let him join you, he blushes a deep red and insists that you're weird and that he's not gay. He thinks about it though, and after about 5 minutes he goes to his room, then sneaks to the showers to ask if you were serious about your offer.

What happens: probably nothing toooooo spicy, but maybe a sloppy make out session and some heavy petting. As soon as you touch his dick he jolts back and says that's too far. You nod and apologize.

Soldier

Doesn't really understand the connotations immediately, but as soon as you offer him a blowie he's like "I AM NOT A BRIBABLE OFFICER, PRIVATE!" You assure him it's not to gain favor, it could just be a one-time thing. You just think he's very handsome and would be honored to get hot n' heavy with a superior officer.

What happens: a blowjob and you worshipping Soldier's body- maybe he gets a little rough with you, but nothing too bad since it's under the guise of a one-off hookup.

Pyro

Pyro innocently accepts and offers to wash your back in public, but as soon as you two are alone, they know your game. They push you against the wall and breathe against your neck, the mask causing a noise that envelopes your senses.

What happens: You get to see what's under the suit- well, barely- the steam obscures your vision when they unzip the pelvis zipper of their suit. Whatever is was, it felt good.

Demoman

Teases you about needing some company to shower, asking if you need help washing your back or if you just want an excuse to see him naked. When he arrives he's very pleasantly surprised to actually see you there with an intention to do more than wash his back.

What happens: probably at most a mutual handjob or a dominant Demoman giving you a reach around while you're pressed against the tile walls.

Engineer

Blushes a bright red and hides his face in his hands, waving you away and calling you crazy. He grumbles and goes to his workshop to tinker on his machines, as he usually did when he had emotions to process.

What happens: he doesn't join you initially, but comes to your room late into the night and offers to shower with you then. By the way, he built a toaster while he was busy.

Heavy

Doesn't know what to think at first when you ask, desperately wants you to mean an innuendo, but is highkey a little insecure about himself- who'd like a man in his late 40's who's got a bad case of MPB? Well, when you come onto him his bran explodes.

What Happens: Probably some kissing, maybe a little hesitant touches. Nothing too spicy but intimate enough for both of you to blush when you see each other the next day.

Medic

Very flirty, very down for the proposition. Offers to escort you to the showers himself levels of down for whatever. As soon as the waters are warm our hands are all over each other, his glasses were knocked on the floor, you are overwhelmed with pleasure and his mouth on yours.

What Happens: Probably the farthest you go with any of the mercs, straight up a great possibility that you have sex. Medic's a passionate and rather noisy lover, so everyone avoids the shower until it's obvious both of you have left- and Engie sends in his cleaning robots. Just in case.

Spy

Applauds your boldness and bravery, but there is a 50/50 chance that he declines your offer unless you're blindfolded. As much as he has a sweet affection for you, he loves his mask ever so slightly more.

What Happens: An intimate bathing routine where you're blindfolded and sat on a stool in his personal shower, you're scrubbed, massaged, and pampered with the most aromatic sensations known to man. Afterwards, you might get lucky on his bed.

Sniper

Blushes a deep red, hides his face under his hat, and mumbles about how unprofessional you're being. You two are coworkers for christ's sake! Of course he declines your offer!

What Happens: He can't get the thought of you showering out of his head. It starts messing up his shots due to distracting him so much. After the third respawn, he groans and asks you to shower with him. Nothing happens, but you both get an eyeful of each other.

[odinsblog]

I really don’t know what it is about social media that turns so many people into aggressively dismissive, Jr. wannabe lawyers, but here we are.

Do y’all really be thinking you’re hitting some kind of rim shot by being insulting and calling someone pathetic? I mean, someone here definitely IS being pathetic, probably, but…

Anyway… here in the adult world where eye live, unless someone is being dehumanized, or being racist, we try to have rational discussions. No need to try and make yourself look all big & bad by accusing someone of spreading misinformation or calling others pathetic. Capisce? (BTW: it makes you look small and desperate)

Hell, even if I were wrong—I’m not, but for the sake of somebody’s weak argument, let’s say that I am—in some (not all!) cases it is more likely that people make genuine mistakes as opposed to intentionally trying to spread misinformation or disinformation. Ever heard of the saying, “it’s safer to ascribe a mistake to ignorance rather than to malice”?

And I only beat this dead horse of an argument to death because I’m reminded of a post where I mistyped 50.0 instead of 500, and immediately someone responded by accusing me of - yup, you guessed it - spreading misinformation! LOL. I greatly appreciated the person who simply (anonymously) asked if I meant to use the number 50 or not.

Y’all really be tryna do the most over nothing.

I have also had people “fact check” and “correct” obvious (non-offensive) jokes. I know you may think it makes you look good and important, but it honestly doesn’t.

I feel like some of you out there are sO super fucking desperate to be a part of gatekeeper culture that you reflexively “correct” things that really don’t require any real corrections.

The information is what it is. Labeling things you don’t like as “disinformation” does not magically invalidate said information.

And who, exactly, do you think the railway lobbyists were lobbying??

Do you think they lobbied:

A) The Academy Awards

B) The NFL

C) Norfolk Southern

D) The Trump Administration

Are you suggesting that the lobbyists avoided going to Trump and his enormously bribable administration? Is that really what you’re asking us to believe, @thereddestofsons ?? Because that seems very, very hard to believe.

But yeah, consider yourself good & blocked. Like, who even wants to do “the discourse” with people who think being smarmy and making accusations is an invitation to rational discussion?? Y’all don’t have to do this. It really doesn’t puff you up the way you seem to think it does. Do you know how easy it is to just make a post of your own??

Anyway, have fun defending Trump or doing whatever it is you think you’re doing here on Tumblr 🫡

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Trump and the GOP put the “crony” in crony capitalism. He did this.

Remember, Republicans love deregulation. They’ll cut any safety regulation, any health regulation, they will do anything to make it easier for big business to profit. No matter how many people it might harm.

Does anyone remember the deadly fertilizer plant explosion in West Texas? Rick Perry defunded and deregulated the shit out of Texas’ fertilizer plants (pun intended), and then it exploded.

Republicans will deregulate big businesses, but regulate the hell out of women, poor people, LGBTQ people, teachers, Black voters, etc etc etc

[miss-wanna-write]

 im making bad decisions so buckle in.

A Non-Comprehensive List of Fun or Speculatory Milgram What If’s/Character Beliefs

i would like to credit @abyssalressentiment for helping build off or just listening to some of the more non-sense ones. also I’m [read more]ing this after Yuno’s.

Note: This was all made based only on the videos on the official youtube channel and some of their comments. If contradictory evidence is found in their drama’s or q&a’s, I have not read them and am not aware of it.

Haruka

he’s perfect, he’s diseased, he’s got nothing right going on and i want to see what he fucks up next.

Es is channeling my energy when they tell Haruka to try murdering them. let us fall together hand in unlovable hand :heart_eyes:

i’m literally so entrapped by the imagery in his mv’s that i cannot focus on theories. i’ve voting without logic for this one, girlies.

Yuno

i don’t actually have a lot of thoughts about Yuno, but i am very compelled by zenchizennou’s analysis on umbilical (link is to the post)

my takes are gonna be v pedestrian, lining up with a lot of others. compensated dating, an unexpected pregnancy, maybe a botched extortion either on her side or by someone who discovered her afterschool job, or maybe a bad client idk.

Fuuta

i wanna bully him so badly,,, he kinda deserves it,,,

okay, he is another one i have very little on because i completely misread his mv, initially. i thought he was so terminally online he deluded himself into seeing game overlays, and was in a fit of disconnect when he murder someone. i know, not even close to reality.

he’s just, so straight forward? and honestly, the guilty verdict was a better choice 1st round, cause i don’t doubt he’d have joined Kotoko in beating people up, or maneuvered her to better beat people up, if voted innocent.

Mu

i will say it now, if Mu doesn’t wow me with her second song, i’m going to vote her guilty.

crazy theory that makes no sense, incoming: what if Mu’s song isn’t chronological? what if she was bullied after she murdered the girl, and everyone knows she murdered that girl, but Mu didn’t get charged because we all know police forces be corrupt af and highly bribable.

listening to Es’s version of Afterpain really shows how Mu is twisting her words. as i’ve seen someone say before, she says sorry so you’re obligated to forgive her. if you don’t, she tried, you’re the one who won’t accept it. can’t you see that Mu is the one really in pain? despicable (mildly impressed)

Shidou

probably worked in palliative care, facing the stress and tears and anger of everyone he had to break the bad news to, until it got too much, of watching everyone he took care of fading and suffering and dying before his eyes until it got too much and he took drastic measures as...

an angel of death. maybe it started out as a genuine thing, where he would offer the service to terminal patients, but then snowballed until he would do it as punishment or just because, or maybe it was always retalitory because of the stress caused by dealing with patients families. i really can’t stop thinking about the dude whos DABDA reaction was Anger, at Kirisaki-sensei... okay no calling Shidou that sounds weird af. back to informality.

Japan doesn’t have any formal euthenasia laws, and the two doctors who were tried for it, one case passive (i.e. cutting off life support) one active (i.e. injection), were both found guilty of having caused death, so no matter why or how he did it Shidou would probably be a murderer for it.

i also think he engages in illegal organ harvesting, but in a way that, once you die he’ll harvest any viable organs regardless of your donor status card.

he also gives me the vibes of knowing he’s wrong, but either knowing he can’t stop, or fearing he can’t stop, which is why he wants to be found guilty.

Mahiru

i think her relationship was abusive on both sides. her reaction to the guilty verdict does not... make me feel comfortable. it’s not like Amane’s where she fell further into her beliefs, at least not in the same sense, but... she was treated cruelly and is reaffirming her love.

this is the easist for a q&a, or voice line, to contest, but it makes sense for why she was in the birdcage too, if she was in a physically abusive relationship.

Kazui

i have, what i like to refer to as my “apropose of canon” what if of, what if Kazui is a professional killer (maybe a honeypot *wink wonk*), and Hinako was originally supposed to be his target but then he fell in love. this has no reason except “professional killer au romance story”

Amane

there was never a right choice during her first vote. if we voted “innocent”, it would re-affirm the teachings instilled in her, when we voted “guilty” we subjected her to the same torment her ‘guardians’ probably did.

so her lines during the lineup in Undercover confirmed two things for me. 1) her cult’s faith healing was most likely a two sided belief thing, both the healer and the healed must believe for it to work. pretty standard typical stuff. 2) a broken promise is only logically followed by death. “cross my heart and hope to die” stuff.

the brainwashing really got her... i hope she gets help, and also doesn’t murder Shidou. please don’t kill Shidou, Amane. if you do Kotoko’s gonna murder someone for real and i have hope for her.

Mikoto

amazing what if: Mikoto’s DID affects the MV’s, not to a major extent, but to the extent that he (or rather, one of his alters) is aware of what’s happening. my bet’s on Green, but Red could be a possibility. Jackalope did say he doesn’t know how DID will affect Milgram.

piggybacking off of the theories that Mikoto has two alters, identifiable by a Red tint and Green tint, as opposed to the core’s blue tint, and will be refered to by colours as opposed to Blue who as the (presumed) core will just be called Mikoto, i will point out something that is very obvious, and probably not something ground breaking.

RGB is the colour spectrum used in light, maybe meaning that if we want to really see Mikoto for all he is, we need to consider every part of him as him. you must consider all motives, regardless of which part of him hosts them, with out that you have a tinted view, and if you don’t consider any of them, you’ve black out your sight.

adding a caveat that i do not have any formal learning in regards to DID and any observations i make are to be taken with a grain of salt and are not meant to offend.

Kotoko

another i am voting guilty, because hoo boy. i admit i may be slightly trying to play 5D chess to have the most people survive, but this is also because she needs humility, just like how Fuuta needs it.

both Ace and I agree that Kotoko didn’t attack Amane cause she either has a soft spot for kids, or sees Amane as the product of corruption rather than a cause of it, like the other three guilty verdicts.

also, meaning to be bi, hO BOY. only the fact that she would stomp me to death with her doc martins is keeping me sane.

[sixofpomegranates]

Rain in California - Act 1 - Fame

🥀Mini Series “Rain in California” Act 1 - Part 3 - Fame🥀

✨My Main Masterlist✨ | 18+ | AO3 | Wattpad

🥀Soundtrack🥀 | ✨Aestethic Trailer✨ |  🥀Masterlist🥀 | Words: 6.4k

🥀click here for the previous chapter🥀

TW: ANGST (LIKE REALLY),  mention of loss/death/addiction/sobriety/murder/abortion/miscarriage, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, depression, addiction, substance abuse, drugs, alcohol, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, mentions of OD, PTSD, Self-Harm/Cutting, religious trauma, past physical/psychological abuse on child/teen, abusive parents, teen pregnancy, murder, injustice, withdrawal symptoms,

Songs in this Chapter:

Heartbeat - Don Johnson

Seven hours and a Gastric Suction later, [y/n] felt like hell.

Her throat hurt and the medication they´d given her didn’t work. Now she laid in her hospital room, in her uncomfortable bed and was mostly angry at herself. [y/n] didn’t know why she had acted so stupid…well, probably because she had been high as hell. Not feeling able to control herself, when taken more than usual.

 She didn’t want to be so erratic, but when she was high, it just all seemed so easy. Saying the things she thought, doing things she normally would never even dare thinking of, not being hurt by others...On drugs she felt free. Herself.

Although she didn’t even know who she was anymore.

 When Spencer was holding her in the bathroom?

That was the first time somebody had said something to her about her addictions, except for ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’, ’It´s not that bad.’, ‘We´re here once you´re ready.’ and ’She´s just having a rough time.’.

It was the first time somebody really seemed to see through her and literally forced her to look at herself in the mirror. To care for her enough to show her tough love. Leroy, Hank and Tom had tried it, but given up on her, sure they supported and cared for her still, but for them she was already too far gone. And they were probably right about it.

 But the dog? He still had wanted to help her, even after she tried being her ugliest.

 She had gone too far, still remembering his face, the terror in it, when she cut her wrist, when she had taken all her pills at once. [y/n] had wanted to hurt him like that, her mind, her stupid junkie mind, had her convinced, that doing it would be a great way to get back at him.

Because she felt hurt, being rejected by him.

 Most likely she had scarred him for life. And now he hadn’t come in, since she was allowed to have visitors, and probably would never come back.

 She has successfully driven away the only one that had still cared enough.

 Now, mostly sober, she felt like a monster, aware that she was a wreck beyond repair.

 Of course she had, in the beginning, thought about stopping. But the drugs were the smaller evil to her, since they calmed her mind and made her forget the pain. She would stay alone forever, unworthy other people´s love, her mind should at least be allowed to be numb.

 *****

 “I came as fast as I could. What happened?”, Philip handed Spencer a duffle bag, filled with [y/n]´s clothing. He had asked him to bring it, since Spencer didn’t know how long she would stay.

“They pumped her stomach and had to stitch the wound on her wrist.”, he stated, making the short manager´s eyes go wide.

“Are you insane? What if they hurt her vocal cords?”, the tall one tried to remain calm, but had to really force himself to not hit Philip.

 Why was that a priority?

 “I didn’t wanna let her die. She could´ve OD´d. What would you have done?”, Spencer asked slightly aggravated.

“Carry her to the bathroom and force her to throw up, until nothing´s in her stomach anymore. Then I usually take her to bed and give her water every hour and feed her soup until she´s better.”, the manager explained and Spencer felt like that had to be a joke.

 “That has happened before?”, he asked baffled and Philip nodded. “Yeah, a couple of times, but she always either took something or cut herself. Never both at the same time. Where you two fighting again?”, he asked reproachful and Spencer felt the guilt sink into his heart. “See, agent Prentiss? This is why I said, [y/n] didn’t need a bodyguard.”

“I´m sorry, but I don’t think that this is the result of having a bodyguard. It´s much more one to them not getting along and [y/n] being highly addicted to a couple of substances.”, Emily stepped in for Spencer.

 The manager just ignored the her obvious insinuation of the rockstars declining mental help, before going into [y/n]´s room. The agents then just looked at each other before going in too.

 *****

 This was the first time Spencer saw [y/n], since they got here. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to be alone with her before. She was laying in her bed, bandage on her left wrist, looking directly at him when he came in. They had taken of her make-up, making Spencer realize, that she was prettier without it. Her jet black, dark hair in a ponytail. To him she looked calmer and softer like this. The real girl behind the façade. Philip was already all over her.

 “[y/n], you look awful.”, he said, shaking up the pillow as she got up a little, to sit.

“Feel like it too.”, her voice sounded a little raspy.

“Poor girl. How is your voice? Do you need anything?” “Fine. My throat´s just a little sore. Can you check me out of here? The faster, the better. That way I can go home without the media knowing.”, Spencer and Emily shared a look.

“The paparazzies showed up an hour ago.”, Emily stated, making [y/n] nod.

 She leaned further back in her pillow and looked at Spencer, like she wanted to say something.

 “C-Can you still check me out, Philly?”, Philip nodded.

“Of course. I´ll be back asap and then we´ll take you home so you can pack.”, he walked outside and [y/n] looked at Emily.

“Can – I don’t know – you maybe go with him?”, she asked her friendly.

 The dark haired woman shared a look with Spencer, who nodded at her. Signaling, that he was okay being alone with the singer again. Emily then nodded and walked after Philip, closing the door on her way out. For a second Spencer thought about leaving the room too. To, no longer, have this black-haired demon take hits against his sanity, but then her voice cut into the silence of the room.

 “I´m sorry.”, she said and Spencer wondered, if she was being honest.

“For almost killing yourself?”, he asked her sarcastically and she shook her head.

“For how I treated you.”

“I´ve been through worse. You´d need to be trying way harder, if you want me to break.”, he answered her cold and she began looking at her hands.

“I´m sorry, I tried pressuring you, to take drugs.”, Spencer shrugged at that. “You were high. If I didn’t relapse after the love of my life was killed or when I was put wrongfully into prison, I won´t relapse because a pretty girl is offering me drugs.” “Doesn’t make it better or okay. I saw the token in your room, when I was looking for my pills. I knew and still did it. You must really hate me.”, [y/n]´s voice sounded like she was about to cry.

“I don’t hate you.”, he said gently, sitting down on her bed. [y/n] let out a self-degrading laugh and looked at him, tears filling her eyes. “No, it´s okay. I deserve it.”, she looked over to her IV drip bag, filled with clear liquid, and hit it slightly. “That stuff makes me sentimental.”, she tried saying jokingly, but sounded just sad.

 Spencer looked at her for a while, thinking about what he could say. He hadn’t thought she would apologize for how she acted and he had meant what he had told her. He didn’t hate her. Yes, she was emotionally draining to be around, it wasn’t all bad though.

 Spencer remembered Philip and how he had talked about the two sides of people.

 “That´s no medication, [y/n].”, she looked at him confused. “You lost a lot of water so…Yeah. What you´re feeling is the drugs wearing off.”, he cooed, holding himself back with the rambling. “Nice. That´s what every junkie loves to hear.”, both chuckled a little. “Hey, I give you ten thousand dollar, if you get me some pills, my head hurts like hell.”, she said it in a joking manner, making Spencer chuckle and shake his head.

“No chance. I´m not bribable.”

“Makes you one of few in Hollywood.”, the sound of rain made [y/n] look to the window. “Can you open it?”, he nodded and got up. “Thanks. I love the sound of rain. People always portrait it to be so sad when it rains, but I think it´s nice…cleansing.”

 He opened the window and sat next to her bed on the chair. They listened to the sound of raindrops hitting the streets for a while, when he decided to take the shot and ask [y/n], what had been on his mind for the last hours.

 “Why are you doing it?”, she looked at Spencer, making a questioning noise. “Cutting yourself, taking drugs.”

“The pain makes you feel alive and the drugs help you hide the side effects of being it.”, Spencer chuckled a little.

“So melodramatic.”

 High, she would have probably devoured him, but now she only smirked and rolled her eyes. By now a certain realness tried finding its way in both their voices.

 “What was your reason for taking them then?”, she asked, leaning in his direction.

 Spencer thought a second, honesty was earned and he wanted her to be honest with him. So he gave her a trust bonus, reviling a bit of his darkness.

 “I wasn’t giving the chance of choosing to take them. I was kidnapped and my tormentor, at least one of his personalities, thought he would help me handling the pain.”

 He could´ve sworn to see empathy in her eyes, but instead of showing it or whispering words of condolences, like so many others would do in this situation, she just smiled.

 “And there I was, thinking you´re just a hypocrite.”, he shrugged. “Well…I am one.” “How?”, [y/n] asked, a little frown appearing on her forehead. “Because you were right. I think you are attractive and maybe my motive wasn’t all just about protecting you at the concert.”, he could feel himself blush.

“I´m sorry for acting out, after…you know.”

“It´s okay. Would you feel better, knowing that I really hated making the decision, to not sleep with you?”, she nodded.

“A little.” “Good. Cause it was. But it was the right thing to do.”, she smiled a little and began focusing on her hands again.

“You see, I get it now and I´m glad, at least one of us, has made a right decision tonight but…I don’t know how I´ll be to you, when I´m high again.”, her concerned voice made him take her hand. Being afraid of your own mind, no longer being able to control it, was something he was very familiar with. “Then don’t be. We could get you into rehab.”

 [y/n] chuckled and took his hand with both of hers, caressing it with her thumbs. She seemed to be thinking. Making Spencer believe she may be taking his offer. But the longer she thought, the more obvious it became, that she was losing to something dark inside her head.

“Would be a waste of time.”, she whispered, her playfulness gone, as if reality just slapped her into the face.

“But if you continue like this, you´ll be dead soon.”, [y/n] gave him a gentle smile.

“You always say that, like I don’t plan on dying with twenty-seven.”

 For a second he tried reading her, hoping she was joking, having made those suicidal jokes a little to often in the last days. When he didn’t like the answer, he prepared himself to hear it from her.

“Do you?”, she nodded. “I´m going to join ‘Club 27’ and then drift into oblivion. My songs and everything I did, only becoming an relic from the past.”

 The way she said it, made it sound like she had already made peace with that decision. It frightened Spencer, making him think of how to make her re-think it.

“What about your friends?”

“There´s only the band…and I started pushing them away from me, a long time ago. I saw how it will end for me and decided not to have it hurt them, like it hurt me, when I found my mom.”, he shook his head. He refused to accept this as an answer.

“And what about yourself? You can’t just feel like dying is the only option.” “It´s not. But it´s the most relieving one.”

 The calmness in her voice and body language showed him so much. What had driven her into that state? A state were death was seen as a relieve, because everything else hurt too much. Depression. She showed signs of it. Many people with addicted use it to cope with their mental problems. What had happened to her? His mind traveled back to the day before, to the only moments when she had let her façade slip.

 To the silver bullet that would kill her.

 “What happened to your baby?”, he asked her stern and she looked at him defeated.

“Oh, I see…I´ve been profiled. What do you think happened?”

“You lost it.”, she nodded, but he continued, carefully watching her body language. He wanted answers, but would stop when she would get too uncomfortable. “Probably because of your abusive father.”, she nodded again, seeming a little numb to his words. “Was he religious?”, the black-haired girl chuckled and answered him a little sarcastic.

“Depends on how religious you´d call a reverend. Why?”

“Religious trauma or trying to shock people. Your music, I mean.”

 For a second [y/n] let go of his hand, making him rest in her lap. Spencer refused to pull it away, if she would start talking, he wanted her to know that he was still there. He had, by now, enough pieces of the puzzle, showing him a dark picture of her past. A reason, why she tried to be high so often.

 Reality was a sharp knife and its cuts couldn’t hurt so bad, when you numb yourself.

 “My father was always hitting my mom, but when she then took off, there was only me and him. He forced me into the mold of the perfect, religious daughter and when I wasn’t as obedient as he would´ve liked, he´d make me read the bible for hours and beat me senseless.”, she started gesturing to her stomach and chest area. “Of course only hitting me in places, nobody would see the bruises. When I was fifteen, I got caught trying to smoke for the first time, by a teacher. As they notified my father, he locked me into the dark broom closet for a week. Out of spite, I then started smoking regularly and met a boy through it, Daniel.”

 Spencer watched [y/n]´s face light up for a second. She looked like JJ or Rossi, when they were talking about Will and Krystall. Like he probably did, when he was thinking about Maeve.

 “He went to the same school as I and his abusive parents were addicts, like my mom had been. We kinda bonded over that and would sneak out at night, spending hours together, talking about the stupidest things. Thinking we were so deep and intellectual. He, at one point, started stealing his parents weed, so we could get high together. Made getting beaten easier. The time with Daniel was the first and last time I ever felt those butterflies. You know? This childish feeling of love?”

 She smiled at him as he nodded, remembering those butterflies too, but then the smile darkened and she took Spencer’s hand again. As if to try and hold onto him, shielding herself from the dark memories creeping up.

 “I got pregnant with sixteen. A shame. I managed to hide it for a few weeks and Daniel and I came up with the childish idea of running away together. We thought, we could just get jobs somewhere else, buy a home and become a family…Like foolish kids.”, her self-degrading laugh broke Spencer’s heart, as she tried swallowing her tears.

“And it didn’t work.”, he whispered and she only laughed, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Of course it didn’t. A woman from church had overheard us talking and the rumor of me being pregnant was already out there, since I threw up so often at school. So she thought she would help me, if she told my father.”, Spencer squeezed her hand a little. “You wanna know what he did?”, he shook his head.

 “What?”

“He waited for us to meet at night. As I crawled out of the window, he stormed outside with his shotgun and confronted us. After I admitted to being pregnant he hit me, making Daniel step between us and start fighting with my dad to protect me and the baby…and my dad- he-…he then just shot him. In-…In cold blood, just pulled the fucking trigger.”, [y/n] voice was filled with disbelieve. Like she still wasn’t able to believe what she had seen.

 “My father then grabbed me by the hair and tried getting me to go back into the house. I, obviously shocked about him just shooting my boyfriend, refused to and so he started beating and kicking me, till I stopped fighting back…Needless to say, I lost the baby after that.”

 As a few tear ran down her face, she let go of Spencer´s hand and wiped them away. Letting a cynical laugh follow.

 “That’s not even the best part of the story. Nothing happened.”, Spencer looked at her frowning.

“What do you mean with ‘Noting happened’. He shoot a teenager. Weren’t there any repercussions?”, she shook her head.

“No. Because he told the police, that he came outside to me screaming, because Daniel was beating me. Angry at me, for being pregnant. He stated that he just did what he had to do, to protect me.”, he shook his head in disbelieve.

“Weren’t you questioned? Didn’t you tell them what really happened?”

“I would try telling, but nobody believed it. Because the reverend, a pillar of our community, would never do such thing. They thought I was just lashing out and framing my father, because I was high and angry at him for shooting my boyfriend...Daniel´s parents didn’t even care, too high to get what had happened. After that, I wasn’t allowed to go to school anymore, in fact, I wasn’t allowed to do anything anymore. My father taught me at home and every Sunday I was allowed to go to church and pray to have my sins being forgiven.”

 Spencer nodded at the amount of information she had just given him.

He felt bad for her, started to understand her, started to hate her father and the cruel injustice she, Daniel and the baby had suffered.

Why had they only once, tried to get her into therapy?

The amount of suffered trauma had to end in a situation like this, left untreated.

It was eating her alive, suffocating her, and everybody who saw it, just slapped the ‘She´s gonna be okay’-Band-Aid on this gashing wound, moving on with their own life´s, while she was losing the battle inside her head. He got up and sat on the bed next to her, she scooted a little, giving him some room to lean back too. As he lifted an arm, [y/n] rested her head on his chest.

 “Then how did you get…viral…?”, he looked at him and the confused spoken word, smiling.

“You know about that?”

“Luke.”, he answered and she nodded. “I wasn’t allowed to have a phone, but I was allowed to use our computer once a week for an hour. I would record myself singing and playing guitar on our shitty webcam and started uploading it, not thinking anybody would ever see it. With eighteen I got in contact with this guy, he said he was in the midst of establishing his own record label and he would love to pay my flight to LA, taking me under contract. I accepted and just ran as fast as I could, before my father could get me.”

 [y/n] again laughed cynical. Seemingly a coping mechanism of hers, to play down the pain and severity of things and situations.

 “When I arrived, he then offered me to stay with him, if I´d be…you know…nice to him. He earned a shit ton of money with my music, while I got nothing…But everything was better than going back home again.”, she sat up a little, so she could look at Spencer, again with that sparkle in her eyes.

 “At one point, when I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore, I had to work at a pizza restaurant to afford rent. There I met Leroy, Tom and Hank at the Open-Mic-Night. I told them a little about what was going on and Hank sued that guys ass. He didn’t want anything in return…just happy to help me. If you think Hank is scary now, you would have shit yourself, seeing him in court!”

 Both chuckled. Spencer could, thankfully, only imagine how terrifying the fifty year old biker could get.

 “After winning the case I asked them if they were interested in becoming a band and we made some demo tracks with the money I had gotten. The label took us under contract and introduced us to Philip, who became our manager.”

 “But you weren’t into anything but marijuana. How did we end up here?”, she sighed.

 “The label has a lot of expectations surrounding me. One of them was for me, to go out and be publicly seen with their other artists, for the image. They were taking a lot of stuff and I always said no, sticking to weed. But somewhere along the line, I wanted to know how it felt. If my mom was right, for choosing it above me. And I think I get it now. Everything I told you before? My dad, my baby, Daniel? They´re gone. I´m able to standup for myself and not letting me being pushed into something I don’t want, like when that creep wanted me to whore myself out to him, just so I´d have a roof over my head. Life is just easier that way and thankfully shorter too.”, Spencer pulled her closer.

 “I like you like that.”, he almost whispered. “Depressed?”, [y/n] snickered and he chuckled, shaking his head. “Real.”

“Only fair. I´ve been a real bitch to you, the whole time.”, he shook his head again. “Not that bad.”, she hit his chest gently, while giggling. “Oh, please. I can handle it. Come on.”, he sighed playfully, admitting the truth. “Okay, yeah. You´ve been a bitch.”

 They laid there for a while, [y/n] seemingly thinking, before she talked again.

 “You´re gonna pass on babysitting duty for me now, I guess?”, she asked hesitant, making him chuckle.

“Nope. I´m gonna stay.”, [y/n] sat up and looked at him, like he had completely lost his mind.

“Why in the world, are you doing that to yourself?”, Spencer shrugged. “Savior complex.” “I´m not worth it.”, he shrugged again. “I know. But the sober girl inside you is. You know? The one that knows my name, speaks French with me while playing Mozart and puts a blanket over me when I fall asleep while reading.”

 Then she asked him something that hit too close to home. Revealing a reality he liked to ignore.

 “You can’t save everybody. You´re aware of that, right?”, he nodded as she laid back into bed, her head resting against his chest again. “But I can try.”, Spencer whispered against her ear.

“Would you mind just watching TV with me? Withdrawal headache´s a bitch.”

 Spencer grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. After many attempts of finding something interesting, [y/n] stopped him from switching the channels. They had come across an 80´s music special. Something with the name ‘Heartbeat’ by Don Johnson had just started playing. Although [y/n] didn’t move a lot, Spencer could tell she was excited. Moving her lips along the lyrics.

  “I don't care what you say

You can give it away

 Your money don't mean much to me.

I've been out on my own

Gonna got it alone now

 'Cause that's the way it's got to be.

Ev'rybody tells me how I can beat the odds for now.

Well I've been standing by the fire

But I just can't feel the heat.”

  “That’s a great song.”, Spencer shrugged, again not feeling too much connection to the music. But it did sound nice. At his shrugging she hit him a little and put on a badly played face of disbelieve and shock. “Show some respect for the classics!”, he laughed at her words. “Respect for the classics? You called Beethoven a deaf bitch.”, now [y/n] shrugged. “Touché.”, she giggled, laying her hand on her head as if to ease the pain.

  “Looking at me

It's easy to see

 You think you know just how I feel.

If you do to me wrong and it won't take me long

 Before my restless heart will heal.

I'm looking for a love

Love like mine”

  “That was good music back then.”, she whispered against his chest. “Heart break, real emotions…love that stuff.”

“Why don’t you play more of it then?”, Spencer asked, Luke in his mind telling him about their music just no longer trying to hit the feelings. [y/n] giggled a little. “I´m guessing…Luke told you?”, he nodded and she let out a sigh. “Remember when I told you about the label having expectations? Every song I make has to go through them first, before being released. At one point, I had nine songs, completely done and they only greenlit one of them. Told me the others ‘weren´t my style’, ‘not exactly my genre’ or ‘wouldn’t speak to my audience enough’. So I just stopped looking for the deeper emotions. Still love the music I make, but the feeling´s dead. My lyrics helped me coping at the beginning, but the restrictions the label set me, ended that.” “Why don’t you just write those songs again? It doesn’t matter if anybody hears them.”, he suggested to her chuckling in response.

  “They tell me it's so hard to find

But I can feel it in the rhythm of the heartbeat in the street.

 Heartbeat - I'm looking for a heartbeat”

  “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound, mon amour?”, Spencer looked at her for a second, flustered by the realness she let him see.

“Yes. For me it would.”, he told her, making her giggled. “I probably lost my ability for stronger emotions anyway. But thanks, Spencer.”

 His heart skipped a beat as she said his name.

  “Heartbeat - I'm looking for a heartbeat

Beating like mine.”

  As the door opened Spencer quickly jumped up, Emily looking at him with a lifted eyebrow.

 “Uhmm…Hello?”, she asked, more meant as a ‘What´s going on?’. Philip walked in right after her, not having seen the both of them more or less cuddling in the hospital bed.

“Oh no, it´s raining again.”, he sighed as he closed the window and stepped aside for the nurse, who took out the IV from [y/n]´s arm. “Okay. I got you released from hospital, [y/n]. I have the papers and ta-da.”, he handed her a white little paper bag. “Your pain medication and antibiotics for the arm.”

 “Thanks.”, she answered and passed it over to Spencer. “Ca-Can you…so I take them correctly?”, he looked at her confused.

 “You sure?”, she nodded and Spencer smiled at her. Baby steps. “Of course.”

“I thought Dr. Reid would stop his bodyguard duty, now that you´re going to stay with me?”, [y/n] shrugged.

“I- I don’t know.” “You know, I can protect you too.”, Philip insured her. “Yeah…but I would feel safer with my guard dog around.”, she looked at the tall man. “Only if you´d be okay with that, Spencer.”

“More than okay.”, Spencer smiled at her, making her smile back.

“O-Okay, that´s fine. That´s gonna be fine. Dr. Reid can sleep in my office. Now get dressed, so we can pack your stuff at home.”

 Philip handed [y/n] her black duffle bag, Spencer had put on the floor next to her bed. She opened it and pulling out some jeans and a black sweater. When she tried to get up she was a shaky on her legs, but managed to go to the bathroom. Spencer stayed close to her, being able to catch her in case she´d fall. When she closed the door behind her, he looked at Philip and Emily.

 “How many paparazzies are out there?”, he asked and Emily held her breath, shortly thinking.

“Too many. Just checked before coming in. You guys better think of a plan, if you don’t want [y/n] to be seen by them and become five o'clock news.”, both men nodded and then looked at each other.

“Okay…so, Philip? Where do you park?”, Spencer asked. “Outside, visitors.”, he nodded and looked to his friend.

“Me too. Emily, you?”

“Car park.”, she answered and Spencer handed her his key.

“Okay. We trade. I take [y/n] home in Emily´s SUV. Emily takes [y/n]´s car and you, Philip, you just drive to the mansion. Maybe we can make them think she´s still in medical care, that way.”, all of them nodded to each other, not really knowing what more there was to tell. Not knowing if the plan would even work.

 *****

 When [y/n] looked in the mirror, in the tiny bathroom of her hospital room, after washing her face, she felt okay. Horrible, but okay.

 Feeling kind of stupid, having given Spencer her medication. It had felt right. But she didn’t know why. Did she want to make him happy? Well, he certainly was. But honestly? Nobody just stops being addicted for one person. Having your addiction tendencies being bound and under control solely for another person than yourself probably never works in the long term.

She knew she would have to stop for herself and that just wasn’t worth it.

She just wasn’t worth it.

Spencer would leave again, he was just another person in her life that would vanish, never to be heard from again. Her life would move on, just like it did now and that was it. It was okay like that. There wasn’t much to be expected anymore and she had made her peace with it. Having lost the will to try years ago.

 Somehow she had decided however, to enjoy the few moments she would still have with this man. A man she barely knew, but yet, felt so interest in. A man that either lived his best boomer life or just simply lived in a cave without Wi-Fi, giving his lack of knowledge by simple words like iconic and viral.

 Maybe it was his lack of interest in her Rockstar persona, that intrigued her. She had heard him and Philip outside of her room. Spencer had not given a single fuck, that her voice could´ve been ruined by having her stomach pumped, as long as she didn’t die. That was nice. Being more than an expensive voice. Being counted as a human.

 She wanted to know more about him, had given him her silver bullet, as a sign of trust. Now she wanted his or however much he was willing to give. Being high would ruin it, being high would maybe have her forget something. [y/n] knew she would still need to take the bare minimum of her drugs, so the withdrawal wouldn’t kill her, but for now she would like to be semi-clean. The headache and the freezing being acceptable.

 She had put on her fresh clothes, liking that they didn’t smell like cigarettes, wondering why she even smoked, when everything just started to reek and ruin the nice smell of her lavender perfume. Was it still out of spite, because her father didn’t like it?

Maybe she would quit…on the other hand…maybe just reduce them a little. For now, she didn’t have any, anyways. She would probably need some chewing gum.

 When she walked out of the bathroom Spencer smiled at her, stepping closer and his hands cupping her face.

 “Hey. You okay? You´re a little pale.”, she quickly nodded, her heart beating as fast as it always did shortly before a concert.

“Yeah, just not wearing any makeup, so…”, he shook his head, thumb stroking her cheek.

“Uh-uh. You weren’t pale like that before. You feeling sick?”, actually yes, she did.

“A little.”

“We´re gonna get you something to eat later and then you should take a nap. Philip is going to drive in his car and we´ll meet him at your house. Emily already left.”, [y/n] nodded, quickly stepping away from Spencer. She hadn’t even noticed Philip still being there, while he smiled at them.

“I´m gonna leave now and you guys just go to the garage and wait a few minutes. When something happens you call me, okay [y/n]?”, she nodded, Spencer taking her duffle bag as Philip hugged her and then left.

 She and Spencer went to the car park, her having the hood from her sweater pulled into her face, hoping nobody would recognize her. The last thing she wanted was a media scandal, so shortly after the her teen-pregnancy was brought to light. People talking about the ‘out of control’-Rockstar almost dying due to an overdose. Not that they were completely wrong, but still. She hated when strangers acted like they knew her, only because they read one of those crappy articles.

 When they got into the car Spencer turned on the seat heating, without saying a word, only smiling at her. Why was he so nice? Was it his savior complex or did he just have a great personality?

 Driving to her mansion in silence, they were met with an array of paparazzies in front of it. Spencer parked across the street. [y/n] quickly fixed her hair, should they notice her and start making photos.

 “Tinted windows, they don’t see you.”, he told her, making her relax.

 For a second she thought about how much she hated this. The flashes of the cameras pointed into her face, only inches away from it. Asking her inappropriate question, because fame cancelled out the right of privacy. They were always waiting for her to do something, to be put on a blast for.

 Maybe she could just, a little longer, be a no one. Like she seemed to be, alone with Spencer.

With Philip, she never had even five minutes to herself. Yes he was nice, but he was so in-your-face sometimes. Smothering her with care.

 “Spencer?” “Hm?”, he turned to her. “Would it be okay, to just go undercover?”, Spencer raised his eyebrows. “Undercover?”, her cheeks flushed a little.

“Yeah…get a hotel room and some junk food maybe…” “What about Philip?”

“I´ll text him…I- I´d just like to be alone.”, he nodded at her words, already starting the car again. “Oh, sure. I get that.” “Alone with you.”, was that sentence too bold? “I know. Already thought so.”, he put a hand on her thigh, gently squeezing it. She smiled at this gentle gesture. “Any hotel okay?”, he asked her, as she laid her hands on his, wanting to make sure it stayed there. “Sure. But you´ll need to get the room. I tend to attract attention.” “Really?”, he asked in a playful voice, as he pulled into the main street. “Yeah, apparently I look like this one singer from a rock band.”, she answered, giggling, even though it killed her head. “Huh, weird. Wouldn’t have noticed.”, he almost whispered, seeming to have noticed it.

“Maybe we should get me some nicotine patches too.”, she smiled, making him look at her surprised.

“Stopped smoking?” “Yeah, thought I´d try it. Maybe you can smell my perfume better like that. Lavender.”, Spencer chuckled. “Sexy. Kissing a smoker only seems good in the movies.” “You know movies?”, she said, playfully mocking him. “Russian and black-and-white ones.”

“You´re a little nerd, huh?

“Hope that’s not a deal breaker?”, she looked at his little worried, almost insecure look.

 Yes, the junkie who just ruined his night, by having a mental breakdown, would think a nice, smart guy that liked watching ‘Dr. Who’ was a dealbreaker.

“It´s actually kinda cute.”, he let out an adorable giggle and for a second she could feel her heart skip a beat.

 *****

 Spencer had gotten them a hotel room in a small hotel with individual, private entrances. Definitely not as classy as [y/n] was used to, but private enough, not to be seen. Before, he had bought her nicotine patches and gum and they had gotten some pizzas.

 Now her arm was plasters with some of the patches and they sat on the bed, eating pizza and watching ‘10 things I hate about you’, making him see just how quirky [y/n] could be. Singing along to every song, telling him how much she loved watching it, secretly at a friend’s home, as a teen; giggling like crazy when something funny happened and gushing over things she thought to be romantic. Spencer had given her her medication and the withdrawal, at least in the moment, seemed to be manageable.

 After the movie she had insisted on him picking something, making him extremely nervous. He didn’t think that any of his picks would have her enjoy the next two hours, but she didn’t let him say no. So he put in an old black and white movie called ‘La Dolce Vita’, about a week in the life of a philandering tabloid journalist living in Rome. He laid down in bed and signaled [y/n] to come closer. She had quickly cuddled up beside him, seemingly touch starved by the way she held him close. A very familiar feeling for Spencer.

 After he had begun stroking her hair, she had fallen asleep faster, then he had fallen for her.

 Seeming to like every side of her, every part, no matter how damaged or ugly. Spencer had pulled the sleeping girl a little closer, gently kissing the top of her head and smiling to himself. What he had smelled two days ago, had been lavender. He drifted of as well, only waking up half an hour later, when the credits woke him.

Turning the TV off, before laying close to [y/n] again, now spooning up behind her, face buried in the crook of her neck, arms wrapped tightly around her.

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To be continued...

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[porta-decumana]

“I like this. A quiet breakfast with you.” for the soft sentence starters 🤗

            No light streamed through the window in that cold, cramped bedroom, making it near impossible to tell the hour.  Outside were telltale signs, however.  Soft footsteps of maids up and down the hall signaled it was at least past sunrise.  Gentle cold light filtered in from beneath the crack of the door from the sconces they had set in the gray stone corridors.  Gaius cast a glance at them then at the curled, still sleeping Kaida at his side.  Her back was pressed into him, the steady rhythm of her breath a melody that threatened to pull him back to sleep.  But since everything had gone to hell, there had nary been a day Gaius Baelsar had gotten to sleep in.  And today was likely going to be no different.  Something always came up.

           Gaius reached for Kaida, knowing it best to wake her.  His hand caressed over her spine, tenderly making its way to her neck. She mumbled something and his palm continued to caress her exposed skin.  Soft and delicate but enough to pull her from slumber.  The Raen rolled over, cracking an eye at him grumpily.

           “Whazzit,” she said, voice thick with sleepiness and words slurred.

           “Good morning,” he said and Kaida rolled back over.

           “No,” was all she replied with and he shook his head at her, stifling a smirk.

           She pulled the covers over her shoulder a bit more snugly.  He sighed and began to rub her back some more. Persistence was key.  She grumbled again—no coherent words, just a general discontent.  But as his fingers began to dig gently into her tired back muscles, the grumbling turned to a satisfied moan.  Kaida nuzzled into her pillow and he detected a small smile on her lips.  Good.  It was working.  And now for the ace up his sleeve.

           “Breakfast?” he tempted her and the Raen’s eye opened again.  Gaius had learned long ago when in doubt to offer food.

           “Mmm… fine,” the Raen relented and the Black Wolf had to hide his amused grin.

           So predictable.  So bribable.

           Getting out of bed was the worst part in the mornings.  The cold air seeped through everything but the thick blankets on the bed.  When Gaius slid out, he felt the wintery cold hit his skin.  It sobered him up, banishing the loitering remnants of slumber. He set about cleaning himself up, glancing over at where Kaida was struggling to crawl out of bed.  When she did, she took a blanket with her, bundled up with the tail end dragging the floor.

           “Ridiculous,” he commented to her as she wore her blanket-cape to the washroom.

           “It is too damn cold,” she grumbled back and he shook his head at her.

           The door closed behind her and she added, “When this madness is over, we’re going to the Ruby Sea.”

           “To meet your parents?” Gaius remarked.  “I can only imagine how well that will go.”

           “Kami above-- no, we are not doing that,” she huffed from the other side of the door. “I just want a change of scenery.  Something less cold.  I can barely tolerate this… winter business.”

           “This is nothing,” Gaius said dismissively.

      ��    “This is horrible,” Kaida retorted. “I can’t feel my tail.”

           “Neither can I,” Gaius said gruffly.

           A long, drawn-out sigh preluded her cracking the door open at him.  A single, angry emerald eye shot a glare at him. And then she closed the door again with another one of her disdainful huffs.  A lingering moment of silence existed between the two.  And then she finally spoke, words interrupted slightly with a chuckle.

           “You are not funny.”

           “I can hear you laughing.”

           “I hate you.”  

           He could hear the smile in her voice.  Another victory for the morning.  

           “Lies and more lies,” he shook his head, a small smile crossing his lips.

           When they had finished washing themselves and getting ready for the day, they slipped out of the bedroom and into the hallway.  They were midway down the hall when Gaius noticed that Kaida had pulled on one of his jackets over her long-sleeved shirt.  It was so lengthy on her that it nearly skirted the ground.  He sighed. Another jacket she would likely not want to give back.

           The dining area was empty when they arrived but the hearth had already been stoked. The chef had prepared a simple breakfast meal—eggs, strips of bacon, and some biscuits.  Kaida and Gaius grabbed their portions and settled down next to the fire.  The heat of it was welcome in the wintery cold.  He reached out with a hand to warm his palm then glanced at her, catching a stare from her.  His eyes narrowed slightly—accusingly-- and she blushed and looked away.  Gaius shook his head, smirking to himself.  She had given up any ounce of subtly, it seemed.  Too often he found her gaze wandering over to him with that twinkle her eyes.  Like a love-struck teenager.  Not that he felt any different.  The way he felt addicted to being near her was almost embarrassing.

           “I like this.  A quiet breakfast with you,” Kaida commented as she ungracefully shoved a large slab of bacon into her mouth.  

           “The food shan’t run from you, Kaida,” he remarked.

           “I am hungry,” the Raen protested and shoved another bit of bacon into her mouth.

           Gaius marveled at her for a moment—beautiful, unladylike, and eating with the grace of drunken geese.  She sucked the grease off of her fingers and he shook his head at her.  What an insufferable noise that was but her antics put a soft smile on his face.  So often they had to run about to their tasks, as if they were crewmates scurried about a sinking ship.  Every day felt like bailing out more water.  It made little time for moments like these—casual and light-hearted.  But he cherished them all the same.

           “We… ought to do this more,” he said after a moment of thought.  

           “Yes,” Kaida agreed, the glow of the hearth illuminating her face.

           He caught her staring again and when he swiveled his head in her direction, he noted the way her eyes were fixated upon his mouth.  A quick glance was tossed about the room.  Still empty, except for them.  Good—showing affection in public was something he was still uneasy about.  He leaned in, lips gracing hers for a brief moment.  Soft and tender, a kiss that warmed his chest in a way that a hearth’s fire never could.  And then she smeared a greasy finger on his cheek and erupted into laughter.

[dystopian-penguin]

Regicide is a two-person job - Chapter one

[Has anyone asked for a mashup between an Royalty AU and a Boarding School AU? No? Well I did one anyway.

While I actually know where I’m going with this (which is rare for writers) I am not so sure if I’m gonna go anywhere with this at all (which is decidedly more common for writers). Either way, here’s an intro/sneak-peak into an idea that has been sitting in my folder for way too long.]

~~

Lena Luthor was not having a good day.

It would have been unnecessarily overdramatic to say it had cracked even her Top 10 Worst Days, but then again, the full repercussions of it hadn’t made themselves fully known yet. Although, she supposed being forced to move halfway across the globe fit the “life-changing repercussions” category, and Lena had no possible method to ever measure all of those.

It didn’t matter. She was going to endure the next two years of her life by making everyone else’s a living hell, as she had always done. Besides, she doubted her antics would make her last very long in one of the most well secured campuses in the world, and when she showed up back home in a couple of months after getting (very politely) expelled it would be her turn to laugh in Lilian’s face. And her stepmother wouldn’t even be able to fully act on her rage without tipping off any investors that the Luthors were many orders of magnitude bellow “less than perfect” as a family.

Lena stretched lazily and put her feet on the table, sparing a passing glance at the picturesque snow-covered mountain ranges passing by thousands of feet bellow her. Deciding that she needed a well-rested mind in order to face the many small battles that were sure to occur throughout the day, she picked up her phone to change to a more sleep-friendly playlist. As she muted her music to scroll through her options, she heard Lilian and Lex’s hushed tones coming from the front of the jet.

“…what my contacts say about her”.

Lilian clicked her tongue at that at that. “I hardly think a girl with that much security actually lives up to these rumors. Maybe they’re trying for a more approachable thought-the-grapevines PR strategy,” she answered.

“She does fit the ditzy dumb blonde type, doesn’t she?” Lex said.

Lilian laughed at that. The type of laughter only Lex was ever really allowed to witness. Lena continued through the motions of picking a sleeping playlist and making herself comfortable enough for a nap, feeling slightly bad for whoever was the focus on their conversation. Her brother and Lilian could be quite vicious about their business partners when they were left alone to gossip, and not exactly fully committed to facts. Not that Lena gave a fuck of course. She had stirred up quite a few nasty rumors about her peers herself when bored.

“That will certainly come in handy for the company in a few years’ time, should it be true,” her bother continued. “Although I do personally believe a rebellious youth would have been even better to our interests than an idiotic leader. Either way, Lena dearest appears to be yet one more problem for the Kryptonian Secret Service now”.

Wait, what?

Lena continued to act as if her earbuds hadn’t been muted and curled on herself as if asleep. It had been bad enough to pull her out of her previous boarding school and haul her ass across the globe overnight and without warning. Had Lilian and Lex really concocted even more unpleasant surprises for her day?

What was she thinking, of course they had.

“Oh, I am sure she will be a problem either way, no matter what the other girl really is like” Lilian dismissed. There was a pause, and Lena heard the clink of a teacup against its plate. “Might I enquire what makes you so keen on believing that particular source this time?”

“For the same reasons you picked this particular academy to exile her to, mother dear”.

Another pause, longer this time, then Lilian answered in a tone of subdued irritation.

“So, he has contacted you as well. I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Oh, I can. What a stupid individual that was. But no matter, it has been dealt with,” Lex chuckled. “Unless you had any other pending business with him?”

Oh great, thought Lena. She was now once privy to the answers to what is without a doubt yet another “mysterious missing person case” that would make its rounds on Youtube conspiracy videos in a few years. If she didn’t know any better, she would think her brother planned his assassinations with the narrative of those videos already in mind.

And her family wondered why she was half-buzzed all the time.

Lilian must have made a dismissive hand gesture because Lex continued, “Good then, so we can stop these charades and discuss what we actually need to. Mother, I must admit, as much as the rest of this ordeal has been perversely well crafted, I believe sending her directly to that room might be a liability.”

“Oh please. Princess Kara might be a pretty face, but even Lena isn’t that stupid.”

Had Lena’s chair been facing them her ruse would have been over at that moment, as her eyes went wide. Just what on Earth were these two planning now? Lex’s black-market deals and criminal business practices were one thing. Every big corporation out in their happy little capitalistic dystopian society was guilty of that, no matter how much they liked to give flak to the Luthors exclusively. “That’s just good business,” as Lionel used to say.

But toying with Kryptonian royalty was way above even Lex’s repertoire, especially after their last… security breach, so to speak. Had her brother really grown as arrogant as to think he could walk in the same circles as a family thousands of years old and come out unscathed? That level of hubris spoke of Lillian’s intelligence, but her brother…

From a logical standpoint, Lena knew she would have to run into Princess Kara at some point during her (hopefully brief) stay in that blasted Royal Academy. The girl would have to be undoubtedly the hottest shit in that school, being the first in line to an empire and all. Lena also expected to be asked for some sort of report on her for Lex, so it’s not like she had exactly been planning on ignoring her existence entirely, as much as the prissy playboy types exhausted her to no end.

Okay, if Lena was being completely honest with herself, even she was curious about what the princess was really like.

She had met all kinds of celebrities and dignitaries in her short 16 years of life, but she had never met anyone from the only true royalty left in the world. And Lena knew even Lex had met the late King Zor-El only once, and as a child.

It was a silly guilty pleasure, but one that she was certain she wasn’t alone in. There was just something about the Kryptonian royalty in particular that made them seem like truly god-chosen and regal, and the whole world followed them like their own private novela. Rationally, Lena knew that “something” was, simply put, the best motherfucking public relations company in the world. One that not even the Luthors had enough money or sway to buy. She knew because they had tried. But there was still some air of magic and old-world nostalgia surrounding the very small family, and as much as it killed Lena to admit, she was as susceptible to that trap as the general public.

Even the super-rich are raised on Disney princess movies, after all.

Lena was pulled out of her reverie by Lex openly laughing and chastised herself for becoming so easily distracted at the mere mention of Princess Kara.

“Why, mother, that must have been the biggest compliment I’ve ever seen you pay her. I wasn’t referring to Lena’s dalliances, however”.

“Oh? Weren’t you?” Lilian countered with fake interest. There were more noises from the expensive porcelain set before he answered.

“Ok maybe I was a little bit,” he said bashfully, in a tone betraying just a sliver of vulnerability, like a little kid being caught with the cookie jar. A tone that Lena as a child used to think it was just for her. “But regardless,” he continued, “putting Lena in her room is simply too close. Even for whatever torture you have planned for her-“

“And here was I thinking I had made pretty obvious that sharing a room was part of her punishment,” Lilian interrupted.

Oh.

Oh, what the flying fuck?

Lena was being forced into a sharing a bedroom? Oh, that shit was low, so low. Even for Lilian.

“It is simply too close, mother” Lex repeated incisively, before Lena could focus into her seething rage any further. “She is to be there simply to observe and report, nothing else. Engaging directly with Kryptonian royalty is a risk we can’t afford to take, not with Lena of all people at the helm of the matter.”

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Lex.

“Well I beg to differ, darling. With the level of security and scrutiny that room is subjected to, there will be absolutely nothing Lena will get past us this time.”

“And therein lies the risk, mother. The KSS simply cannot be allowed this close to Lena. It is bad enough to need a background check to just enter the grounds of the damn school.”

“I admit the KSS might be a bit of an… overkill to our problem-”

“To your problem. I could not care less what Lena gets herself into, and especially not in such an easily bribable school.”

Lena heard Lilian open her mouth as to reply, but what followed were a few seconds of silence.

“Oh, Lex. Don’t tell me this is about you trying to protect her?” she finally said.

There was a muted silence, and Lena tried to keep her heart in a normal rhythm. Lex hadn’t really given much of a fuck about her for a few years now, there was no use getting her hopes up that he had ever been the brother he acted like when they were kids.

“Yes,” he answered more curtly than he usually was with his mother. Lilian must have had a similar expression of utter disbelief as Lena, because Lex felt the need to continue. “There are… details of this that you are not aware of, mother, no matter how much you believe to have bribed that man. But a private jet, of all places, is not the right setting for this discussion, yes?”

There were more clinks that sounded way rougher than their expensive 17th century porcelain should be handled like, and Lena was suddenly reminded of her brother’s secret (and completely pathetic, considering the family’s business) fear of planes. She wished she could say her heart didn’t feel a bit tighter with that knowledge resurfacing in her brain, but Lena was quite pathetic herself. Especially when she came to Lex.

Her brother’s expression must have put an end to the discussion, because Lena waited completely still for a long time but there had been no more words from either of them. But that suited her just the same. Deciding to give her fury towards Lillian proper attention on a later time, she decided to focus on the major bits of information she was able to acquire. Whatever it was this family had been planning to put her through this time, at least now she had an inkling of what it was. And a name. And with that name came a lead, and the very rare possibility of actually preparing herself psychologically to one of Lilian’s sadistic decisions over her life. Lena checked the time on her phone and found out she had roughly three hours for that. Four, if she counted the car ride between the private airstrip and the school.

She would need to google the shit out of Kara Zor-El.

[mygoodqueenbess]

Okay, for all of you who are interested, here is the translation of the dialogues between Robert and Elizabeth in the show “Reinas” (please, excuse me for any grammatical mistake I have made, take in mind that English is not my first language. I have translated some dialogues literally, others phrases I try to find the best way to say them in English, because they’re Spanish sayings. When a clarification was need, I add it in italics.) Enjoy! 

First scene, in the Throne room:

Robert Dudley: Brilliant and perverse as always… 

Elizabeth Tudor: Everybody believes I am swimming in the abundance (I’m wealth), nothing further from reality.

RD: Well,is not it better this way? They also believe that you are a virgin… nothing further from reality…

Second scene, riding in the woods:

ET:  Once again, the mare wins the stallion.

RD:  You are reckless, is not a good quality for a queen.

ET:  And you too slow, good quality for a lover but bad for a rider. Another race to the stables?

RD:  You’re tireless. Do you want to finish with me?

ET:  Not yet … is that I love … to ride.

Third scene, in the stables: 

RD:  What a pleasure! What a sensation!

ET:  Yes… rather better than when we were locked in the Tower of London.

RD:  If we had been imprisoned together it would have been more ghoulish (worse, in a morbid sense.)

ET: Not at all, my dear … no doubt your ghoulish fascination multiplies now you are let to do it with your queen…

RD:  …whom can lose me at any time if she does not make me her king…

ET: Men, insatiable Robert … they are worth only to copulate … and honestly not all with the same success … therefore…

RD: Are you insinuating I do not always satisfy you?

ET: I say men are easy to replace…

RD: How do you like to dominate… For us!

ET: Forever! (it expresses a wish that the relationship last in the time.)

RD:  Any day, I will copulate with you by where God commands… I will leave you pregnant and you will have no other choice but to make me King…

ET: I assure you God does not get into such intimacies and I don’t need a king, but a lover.

RD: And the throne… and an heir…

ET:  Mine? No way… They end up becoming the shroud of your…

RD: To the couple, children give reason to be…

ET: Don’t insist anymore! I will never marry or have an heir who will murder me at night while I’m sleeping!

RD:  I would protect you …

ET: How? Just as you protected your wife?

RD: You’re cruel! You know I loved her…  And that I was not at her side when she suffered the accident.

ET: She was very timely and you were very skilled… The best virtue of the women of my lovers is to know when to die in time… 

RD: How many lovers had you got before me?

ET: You offend me, Sir Dudley! Do you forget that I am still a virgin?

Guard: Majesty, Lord Cecil wishes to speak with you.

ET:  Tell him I’m coming right away.

Fourth scene, in Elizabeth’s bed chamber:

ET:  Where were you?

RD: Watching your bathroom… 

ET: If it takes two persons to do that, I don’t want to imagine what you would need to govern…

Lady: Calm down, my friend, if it were for him he would live sewn to your skirt…

ET:  Yes… always that that skirt would lead to the throne…

RD: Why? Why do you make me pay for your tensions?

ET: What did you think of my cousin?

RD: Can I be honest?

ET: You’ve said enough… How can someone be so stupid …? My cousin has the aggressiveness of the weak but without control she can be a danger.

Lady: And what do you think about about her stepbrother, Regent Moray?

ET: Bribable, flatterer and he is not to be trusted…

RD: Elizabeth… You have nothing to fear from Mary…

ET: She’s beautiful … and apparently she does with men what she wants …

RD: Elizabeth… I really don’t understand what you mean…

ET: Decide which side you are on before you make a mistake… If she intends to disturb me I will make her unable to sleep!

Fifth scene, in Elizabeth’s bedchamber: 

ET: Why do you stop?

RD:  You have very strange spots on the back…

ET: What are you saying?

RD:  And in the face too…