#I am not kidding I almost died of disgust

[nkhluu]

foreign kids as bugs??

LATE TEXT SORRYYYY <333

I don't really have a headcannon. I made some up haha.

Estella as a lady bug, Damien a varied carpet beetle, Pip as tiny chubby bee, Pocket as a Phasmids, Gregory as a dragonfly, and Christophe as a cockroach

[llegato]

fuckkkk

[grrrfrogs]

she's not me.

homelander x supereader

warnings - mentions of death, stalking, angst

(covid doesn't exist in this universe)

based off of the song "she's not me" by lana del ray.

your pov:

you and homelander were the most popular superhero couple. atleast, you guys were 2 years ago.

2 years ago, you and homelander went on a mission, involving a heavily armed group and 3 supes that Vought called super terrorists, when it came down to fighting the last one, he threw you against the wall. as he walked towards you, you attempted to get up and fight him back.

you felt so weak from his throw but you knew you had to fight back, you didn't know where homelander was. as you finally gain back consciousness, the supe terrorist throwing what looked like lightning at you, groaning as you collapsed.

all you saw was the guy walking over to you and touched your body sending lightning through your entire body. electrocuting you to death.

atleast, that's what everyone else thought.

you woke up in some lab, you felt sore and weak, almost like you've just gone through hell and back. you groaned as you woke up from your coma, pulling off the tubes that were connected to your body.

"hello?"

you shouted out, you couldn't recognize the place you were in nor could you sense it being anywhere you or someone you know could have been.

you see a nurse walk towards your room, gasping at the sight before she shouts for someones name you couldn't recognize to come look.

you felt as some circus animal that kids wouldn't help but stare at, it made you feel nervous and self conscious, you were in the seven! what the fuck are you doing here.

you heard the doors open to where you back up, seeing two armed guards behind what looks like, an old nurse, not old enough to where she's brittle, but maybe im her late 60s. tilting your head at the sight.

"where the fuck am i."

you shout roughly, you narrowed your eyes at them, it was some Vought workers.. they asked you to sit down and if you cooperated, you would be let out in a month. nodding as all you wanted was to go back to your fiance, homelander.

"you got electrocuted to death, atleast that's what we thought. we were going to pull your plug today."

you were shocked, maybe that was an understatement but it was true. you.. died? that's impossible. Y/N doesn't die.

"how long was i out?"

you ask nervously, looking at the nurse with almost sad eyes, your mouth gaped open slightly. you saw the nurse look at the guards then back down to her hands, giving a small sigh.

"a year and a half. it's 2020 now.."

she said nervously. you began shaking your head, confused on how you could be out for so long. you stared back up at the nurse before mouthing "no" towards her, you were in deep denial.

homelanders pov:

when he saw your limp body fall, your veins becoming purple as your skin looked translucent. he looked at the supe terrorist, immediately lasering his eyes out, before walking over and ripping his body in half.

he picked up your limp body before flying away as quick as possible, flying to a Vought medical facility that was an hour away since it was the best hospital for superhero's. he stayed by you for months, always visiting you until when he heard the doctors whisper to themselves saying that you won't make it, he thought to himself that he better get unattached to you.

and so he stopped showing up, he stopped waiting for you.

the loss of you and translucent was definitely hard for not only Vought but for the seven, that was until he met storm front. every time he was around her he got reminded of the person who killed you, but he couldn't help but gain feelings for her.

he felt disgusting for it, for liking someone while you were in a coma, especially with someone's powers that caused it. but he tried disassociating powers from person, and that's when they started dating.

your pov:

you of course, didn't know about this. you thought that homelander didn't know where you were and Vought was hiding you from him, but you felt awkward asking, worried that maybe, there is a reason you weren't coming and seeing.

a week went by and you've been training on your strength, regaining your superpowers and this time, somehow in someway, they felt stronger.

you got to have access to some of the media, not really the news but that was only because the nurses knew you would freak out if you saw homelander with someone.

so for a month straight, you regained muscle, strength, and your powers. all you wanted was to see homelander so he could see how strong you were for fighting to wake up from that stupid coma, how strong you were for getting back your strength.

you didn't know how you recovered so fast, you assumed that the doctors were putting in small amounts of compound v in your blood stream.

homelanders pov:

he didn't know you recovered, in actuality he thought you died after a month of him not visiting. he would wake up from nightmares seeing you die over and over again, he would see you standing and staring at him in everywhere he went.

you haunted him.

when he would kiss storm front or when they would have sex, he would be visioning it was you under him, sometimes he would be shocked because it was your lifeless body or sometimes it was just you being alive.

he finally started to get the terrors away from him, he started focusing more on work and storm front, all of this was going well until he saw you in downtown NY. he stared freaking out again, you looked real this time. he blinked and you disappeared.

"fuck."

he muttered under his breath.

your pov:

it came to your release day, you were so deeply excited. they told you about some albums that were dropped and how they were going to give you some new clothes, what you were in right now was the replica of your super hero suit.

"will i see homelander?"

you asked awkwardly, giving a small smile. the excitement building up as you waited for their response.

"maybe."

they say nervously, not wanting to say no to you since you wouldn't understand why. "he is your fiance! why wouldn't you be able to see him." you thought to yourself.

you nodded at their response, feeling upset at the awkward maybe they gave you. it felt like they were hiding something from you, but you didn't know why or what it was.

as you sat in the back seat of the black car, you felt your excitement build up as you started seeing the tall buildings. you felt at home.

they dropped you off at time square where you excitedly smiled, this was the first time you were back at home after your coma.

it was all going well until you saw the big screen of homelander and stormfront, at first you were excited! seeing your fiance on television, but all of that went away, turning into confusion and anger when you saw them kiss.

"what the.. fuck..?!"

you shouted, you watched as she held homelanders hand as he smiled at her, they talked about their love life and you felt sick. utterly sick.

you had no one to show you around but you could hear somehow, through the honking, the talking, and the cars driving. you heard homelanders voice. you ran as fast as you could over to the set.

you felt adrenaline pumping through your veins, you ran as fast as you could, even shoving people down when they came in your way.

the pit in your stomach only deepening when the voices became louder, you walked up to set even when the producers told you to get off because they were filming, not realizing you were THE y/n.

you were about 20 feet away from them but you saw clear view of homelander, he looked.. inlove. but with her. you felt sick as your mouth dropped.

homelanders pov:

he had an interview with storm front today, they got to talk about their love for eachother and he felt happy!

he felt at peace, storm front comforted him about how you were dead, and that she was here for him.

when they got on set, storm front would kiss his cheek noticing your nervousness about me, they even fucked in his trailer 20 minutes before getting interviewed.

everything was going well, he kissed her on live TV he couldn't think on how anything could go wrong, he forgot about you for a minute, the first time in a year and a half.

all of that went away when he smelled your familiar smell, he felt his heart pumping as it began to get closer and closer, he started drifting off, trying to figure out where it was coming from.

"homelander?"

storm front said to him, looking at him confused as he finally gained consciousness, apologizing about him drifting off, making an excuse about saying he thought he heard someone in trouble.

your smell still lingered in his nose, getting closer and closer until.. you were right infront of him. he felt a pit in his stomach, he started blinking, trying to see if it was just a illusion or if it was you.

"Y/N..?"

he gasped out.

alright even if people don't want it IM MAKING A PART TWO! i really hope u guys enjoyed this because i def did writing this.

also i've been NEEDING homelander angst especially something that makes my heart hurt a little ;3

[metalomagnetic]

Any chance you can share an excerpt of the Harry/Sirius fic you have planned? 🥺

“That’s teenage years for you, kid; you’re always angry.”

Harry frowns. “You think that’s all there is to it?”

“Sure. I was that way, too.”

“Was?” Harry asks, and he’s finally smiling. A tiny thing, frail, but it’s a smile. “Seems like you’re still going through your teenage years, then.”

“Cheeky bastard.” Sirius swats him over the head, playfully.

The frail smile turns into a grin. There’s a mischievous side to Harry, buried deep under the trauma, the burden of being the Boy Who Lived.

Harry reaches for the bottle again. “Gross,” he shudders, making a face after he swallows. “Does it get better? The taste?”

“Eventually,” Sirius says, opening a second bottle, now that he relinquished the first to Harry. “You get used to it.”

He got Regulus drunk in this very room some twenty years before.

His mother sighs in his head. She sounds resigned.

“How about those?” Harry nods at the pack of cigarettes Mundungus snuggled in for Sirius. “Will you teach me?”

“Not much to teach,” Sirius says, giving Harry a fag, taking one for himself.

He lights them with his wand and tells Harry to breathe the smoke in.

Predictably, he chokes.

“Being a bad boy isn’t easy, Harry,” Sirius mocks.

“It’s disgusting,” Harry wheezes, still choking, but when he calms he tries again, to the same result.

By the time he finishes, Harry grows even paler, says he’s a bit dizzy.

How innocent he is; how young. Sirius remembers the first time he smoked, that dizziness Harry speaks of.

He was thirteen, and life was good, even if it didn’t feel like it. Now he wishes he could go back to those times.

Would you abandon us again? If you could go back, would you still betray us? the voices demand.

“I’ll teach you to ride a bike,” Sirius promises. “Next summer. I’ll buy one. Miss riding, anyway.”

“Drinking, smoking, riding bikes, moping around in corners, being angry- what else is on the requirement list for being a bad boy?”

“I don’t mope around,” Sirius argues. “And never in corners. I brood in full view of everyone.”

Harry laughs. It might be the whiskey, but there’s some colour returning to his face. He almost looks alive.

He’ll die, eventually. Everyone around you dies, brother.

Regulus was always a spoilsport.

“Alright, alright. Brooding, then. What else?”

“Fucking,” Sirius says, just to embarrass him, and it works like a charm. Harry goes red, instantly. “Can’t be a bad boy if you don’t fuck around.”

Harry looks away. He runs his fingers through his hair again, making it stick out more than usual. It still doesn’t remind him of James.

When James did it, there was intention behind it. He liked his hair like that, and he knew some girls liked it, too.

When Harry does it, there’s nothing intentional about it. It screams of insecurity, something that wasn’t in James’ vocabulary.

“Well,” Harry says, so red he’s turning purple. “You’ll have to teach me how to do that, too.”

A warning rings in Sirius’ head.

Don’t poke at it, his mother advises him. Leave it be, Sirius.

Sirius never listened to her, so he won’t start now.

“You know girls that won’t mind your godfather joining you for a bit of fun?” Sirius teases. “Why, Harry, you’re already running with a bad crowd in that case.” Harry snorts, gulps more whiskey. “I barely know any girls at all,” he mumbles. “But I’m sure no girl would say no to you; it’s more likely they’ll protest to me, really.”

“First lesson,” Sirius says. “No self-depreciating jokes. No poor-me attitude. No one finds that attractive.”

“Well, that’s who I am,” Harry snaps, that temper of his rearing its head for a second.

“Even so, you hide that shit if you want to pull birds. Pretend you’re confident, even when you aren’t.”

“That’s wrong, though. Misleading someone, lying-”

“Bad boys lie all the time.”

Harry huffs. He slumps back into the couch. “Forget it. I can’t be a bad boy.”

“It’s not for everyone,” Sirius agrees. “Plus, if you want to be really bad, you’d need to do some prison time. Not worth it, I assure you.”

“Being locked up in a cupboard doesn’t count?” Harry asks. “Did about ten years of that.”

[urinarythreatinfection]

Alright since you want requests, how about good ol Sanji figuring out that he likes a guy? Lmao.

Poor Sangni. You know for all the shit people (me too) give him, he kinda turned out really good compared to all the things he went through. Also I ❤️ comments on my fics.

Confusion in My Love

Sanji x male reader. fluff. tw for for internalized homophobia. Contains a medium fishman island spoiler. 1375 words.

It’s known that Sanji has an innate preference towards women, and an innate hate towards men. It’s a fact of life the same way the sky is blue, or it was until you. He acts differently around you, a man. Not how he treats Luffy or Zoro, no, there’s something else. Something that makes him weak towards you, something that makes it so when you make a mistake he doesn’t feel like getting angry or mocking you. Something that’s making him feel different.

“Sanji!” His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice while giving Nami and Robin their beverages. “Can I get one too?” You ask with a smile. Everyone expects him to say no, right about now he’d be too “busy” fawning over the women, after all. Schedule full. However…

“Alright.” …he agrees. Like it was instinct, before he could even realize what he was agreeing to. It causes everyone to go silent except for Luffy, who hadn’t realized what was weird until Usopp whispered it in his ear. Sanji knows it’s weird too, but he’d already said yes to you, and he just can’t bring himself to change his mind. So he retreats instead. To the kitchen, his oasis, to make your drink. Once he’s inside he crouches down and puts his head in his hands. “Why did I say that!?” He yells at himself. This stupid something has only been getting worse. Not being as angry at you to not wanting to get angry at you to complimenting you. Now he’s even making a midday beverage for you like he would with a lady! “Why am I doing this!?” He stands up and starts to make the drink, keeping himself busy will surely help him stop thinking about it, but it fails. It’s only when he’s poured the finished product inside the glass that he spots his reflection, his face with flushed cheeks. He touches them as his heart beats faster, is he sick? That has to be it there’s now way, right? Nonono he loves women he’s a woman lover, men are disgusting creatures that he would never develop romantic love for! However the more he thinks about it the more everything he feared and denied is coming together, making his repressed emotions crash down on him.

“Hey, Sanji?” You walk into the kitchen and find him with his elbows on the counter, head in his hands. “Damn if you really didn’t want to make me the drink you don’t have to force yoursel-” You notice tears dripping on the marble “-are you crying!?” When he spots you they flow from his eyes harder.

“hic..unng…” He puts his face back into his hands, sobbing as his emotions overwhelm him, stronger from all the years of internalized homophobia from misinformation. If he’s gay does that mean he has to crossdress all the time now? He likes his suit though… now he just made himself cry more. He feels like a stupid little kid again. You go up to him, confused but rubbing his back as he lets everything out and tries to imagine all the things he’s going to end up doing now that he’s gay. Cooking with long nails, fighting with dresses, having to do makeup every morning, saying kya…

“Sanji what’s up with you, man? Did having to make a free drink for a guy make you this heartbroken?” Crazy conclusion but he’s almost died from a nosebleed so it isn’t that out of the question.

“I’m gay…” He sniffles. “What do I do?”

“Huh??” You look at him with a confused expression. “You’re crying because you’re gay? Sanji it’s not something to be ashamed of, Luffy isn’t going to kick you off the ship. I’m not even sure he knows or even cares what that means.”

“Maybe, but how am I going to cook with long nails?” He looks at his hands in despair. “And is he going to accept me if I wear dresses and makeup?”

“Do you… want to wear dresses and makeup?” The blonde wipes his eyes when you question him.

“..maybe.” Sanji mumbles then quickly yells after. “I don’t know!”

“I feel like you have a misconception on what being gay is. I don’t know what you’re thinking but you don’t have to do anything to be gay besides being attracted to the same sex.”

“But the ladies…” He still wants to like women, he doesn’t know what that means.

“Sanji there are other options besides gay or straight, you can like both men and women, and you don’t have to do whatever you’re thinking if you don’t want to. You’d be a beautiful crossdresser or non-crossdresser. In fact, you don’t even need to be a crossdresser to wear makeup. I don’t- I- How did you even come to this conclusion.”

“In Kambakka.” He states, that makes sense.

“Oh.” You scratch the back of your neck. “Well I don't think them being gay is the reason they’re that way. Did they not tell you this?” He shakes his head. “Yeah well I guess they wouldn’t have expected for you to be this-” ‘ignorant’ “-uh.. mal-informed. Anyway I mean what I say. You’re still you and you get to be you. How did you end up figuring out you liked men anyway?

“Ugh…” He feels stupid now, getting emotional over nothing as he wipes his eyes. “It’s because I like y-” Sanji stops, immediately sobering up once he realizes his mistake. “yyyyoung men my age.”

“Oh? Did you see someone you liked at the last island?” You’re starting to get curious and his face goes red again as he sputters, blue eyes swimming around for an escape when he remembers the drink he made you. He grabs it and quickly gives it to you.

“Here! I finished it not too long ago, drink it while it’s still fresh.” You grab onto it, accepting he doesn’t want to talk. This must be a vulnerable moment for him.

“Well, okay. Just know whatever you end up being, I still care about you, kay?” You smile at him and he heats up more, his feelings stronger now that he realizes what they are.

“Me too, I.. care about you—too.” He’s struggling, jolting when you rub his back.

“We care about each other then, and thanks for the drink.” You walk out of the kitchen with a wink. Once you’re gone Sanji slowly sinks to his knees, sighing. His hand goes to his chest, feeling his beating heart.

“This…feels so weird..!” He rests his back on a shelf door, pupils into hearts as he gets dizzy. “Love love love..” That repeats in his head. He loves you, adores you, filled with nice feelings the moment you look his way. “I love him."

There’s a lot to think about now that he’s realized this but if this light, pleasant feeling he’s getting is because he loves you.. maybe a crush on a guy isn’t so bad.

_____________________

Bonus past memory from Kamabakka:

“GAHH GET AWAY FROM ME! I’M NOT GAY!!” Sanji screams while running from the Okamas. He’d been running the whole day now and eventually manages to lose them, that's what he thinks anyway. They’re actually just hiding to let him rest.

“He keeps calling us gay, we’re Okamas.” One of them says, an idea popping up. “You… don’t think he thinks all queer people are like us, right?”

…

…

“No way~” They all brush it off as another speaks up. “I mean it’s pretty obvious what the difference is, he’s gone traveling he’s must’ve met another queer person.”

“Right right.”

“I’m never going to be like them, I like women. I’m not an Okama.” They hear him say as he catches his breath, making them pause.

“Ah…” They nervously look at eachother

“Well.. he’s going to be here for two years. He should figure it out eventually, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll try and help him too! He’s precious after all.”

Unknown to them, he hadn’t figured it out. In fact, he was so terrified of them that even when they did try giving him pointers he kept blocking it out. But it’s alright, there’s no way he’d do something like think it’s mandatory for gay people to crossdress… probably.

[geekgirles]

The Interracial Wedding: Amalia's Convictions VS. Aurora's Hypocrisy

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am ToT never really intended for Aurora and her father to come across as having the moral high ground beyond Amalia's distrust of them causing her to jump the gun and suspect them of poisoning Yugo.

There are simply no instances where they are shown to be in the right aside from Amalia prematurely accusing them of trying to assassinate her husband and going after them.

In this particular case, what I want to discuss is Aurora's reaction to the Sadida/Eliatrope wedding from chapter 6 and how it reflects how little she actually knows about Sadida traditions, using every opportunity to try and smear Amalia's name without knowing what's really going on.

First things first, we have already discussed the sheer hypocrisy upon finding out about the interracial marriage and her outraged, almost disgusted reaction to it.

Said hypocrisy hinging on the fact that she is an Osamodas who had an arranged marriage with a Sadida, meaning she is the last person with any right to complain about Amalia allowing two different races to marry. Although it is true her problem seems to be less about it being an interracial marriage and more about the fact that the bride is an Eliatrope.

As per usual, we were never given an actual reason as to why she would hate the Eliatropes. Only being implied that she hates them solely because Armand hated them too and she has no agency or ability to make her own judgements, unrelated to the opinions of the men in her life. Thus, she greatly resents Amalia for seemingly allowing outsiders in despite how Armand, supposedly, would have never done such a thing.

(It's true he was adamant on not welcoming the Eliatropes after meeting their goddess, but given he, despite everything, still had a sense of honour and actually valued his sister's opinion, who knows? Hadn't he died, he might have actually rewarded the Eliatropes for their help, after all. Though this is just speculation on my part...)

Having said that, even if Aurora were trying to protect Armand's legacy, it still doesn't change the fact that this is coming from the same person who not only intended to rule the Sadida even without her husband despite being an Osamodas and, therefore, an outsider; but who actually brought her father, an even bigger outsider, with her to rule the Sadida by her side and raise the kid.

The very same person who values a random bat much more than the people she's supposed to serve and look after, as opposed to her husband, who actually gave his life in order to protect his kingdom.

But I digress.

The point is, hypocrisy.

However, what really seals the deal is her reaction to seeing the Sadida/Eliatrope wedding, more importantly, what she thinks of Amalia for it.

Regardless of whether Armand would have approved or not, Aurora's real issue seems to be that Amalia is allowing such a thing to happen despite her not approving of her ascension to power. More importantly, she resents the way she's managed to foster positive relationships between the Sadidas and the Eliatropes in such a short amount of time, and what it implies.

But as the above frames show, what really gets under her skin is Amalia's perceived hypocrisy. What she says about Amalia boasting about Sadida traditions despite going against Armand's supposed wishes (that last part is me reading between the lines) seems to imply these two have clashed over whether Aurora adhered to Sadida customs or not.

The thing is, while Amalia did indeed tell Yugo that Aurora was an outsider unfit to rule the kingdom due to not knowing anything about their customs, that was never brought up when the two women were in the same room. Instead, Amalia focused on the actual elephant in the room: the fact that they left them at the mercy of the Nécromes yet still have the gall to demand she hand over the throne.

Meaning they probably argued about Aurora not being fit to rule offscreen during the time between the OVAs and season 3. Otherwise, this comment just simply wouldn't make sense, as Amalia had never really boasted about her people's traditions before and, both until and during season 4, actually tried to be cordial towards her sister-in-law.

But most importantly, the way Aurora says this line implies she views Amalia as the hypocrite. If my theory is right and they indeed came to blows over Aurora not following the Sadida way of life, then it seems as she is taking Amalia welcoming the Eliatropes personally.

Something along the lines of "So I have to respect your culture but you can put your husband's people first?"

However, as we already hinted at early on, that's not really what's going on, is it?

If you look closely at this frame, then it becomes glaringly obvious that at no point in time is Amalia placing the Eliatropes before her own people and culture. Neither is Yugo, as a matter of fact.

First of all, Amalia is the one officiating the ceremony, not Yugo. He seems to be there simply to give his blessing as King of the Eliatropes and to support his wife like chapter 1 said he'd been doing since they got married and she ascended to the throne.

Then, there's the fact that Amalia is reading from what appears to be the Sadida equivalent of the Bible or, at least, an important ceremonial document. It's not as easy to see in this frame, but that book looks more like a flower with words written on its petals than an actual leather-bound tome.

And, last but not least, it's the actual ceremony:

To complete the wedding, instead of exchanging rings like Eva and Pinpin did (or, well, brass knuckles, in their case...), Amalia conjures up a flower that the groom must put on his bride's hair before they can share their first kiss as husband and wife. And then they're married.

Let's recap, okay?

Amalia is the one officiating the wedding, not Yugo.

The ceremony seems to follow Sadida guidelines.

The groom must present his bride with a flower before they're officially declared husband and wife...

Guys, it literally cannot get any more Sadida than that!

Seriously, Amalia and Yugo's own wedding was much more unconventional, compared to this. In theirs, there were at least portals!

So, what does this tell us?

Simple. It tells us that regardless of what that old Sadida from chapter 2 and Aurora say, Amalia is not going against Sadida tradition or giving the Eliatropes special treatment just because she welcomed them into her kingdom. In fact, she is still putting her people first, as the wedding shows their culture remains the predominant one (which can be either because the Eliatropes don't remember much of their own or because the bride and groom actually agreed on having a Sadida wedding; as always, that's only speculation).

Moreover, it shows Yugo is perfectly content with this. His main concerns being his people's safety and well-being and supporting Amalia without any ulterior motive, unlike the Osamodas and Aurora's political marriage to Armand.

Finally, I'd like to mention a point made by my good friend @alittlebookdust: the fact that Aurora fails to recognise Amalia isn't actually turning her back on her people's customs or Armand's legacy already implies she herself was never familiar with said customs to begin with. Either that, or she is just desperate to find fault in Amalia's way of doing things and feels compelled to criticise everything she does solely because she hates her.

Nevertheless, what this chapter proves is that despite the similar position she and Armand were in due to marrying outsiders, Amalia's actions are actually anything but hypocritical. As, unlike Aurora and her father, she has always remained true to her convictions and put her kingdom first without purposely harming her husband's.

(Thanks once again to @cocogum for the screenshots used in this analysis).

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Bed hair for the soft prompts if it inspires :3

@zahlibeth also asked for this one! On ao3 here!

It's easy to rely on habit in times of crisis. It’s been a long while since Athena has been put on security detail but her body still sinks into it, easy. Think of a grocery list, or a mediocre book you read, or try to remember all the rules of Risk — something to keep you from inattentive boredom, but not something so engaging you’ll be distracted. Feet a little apart, legs stiff but not locked, settle into your own bones because you’ll be here awhile.

It’s wrong, though, because if she were actually working she’d be in uniform, and she’d be by the door facing out instead of across the hall looking in, and she’d never be assigned to this room. She isn’t a doctor, there aren’t any hard and fast rules about family members, but any captain worth a damn would bench her for being too close to the situation to keep a clear head.

In the room, Eddie Diaz sets a plastic grocery store bag down on Evan Buckley’s bed. Buck shifts his thigh just a little to make room for it, gazing up at his friend with a smile that Athena can’t quite manage to look at without hurting. Every smile on that boy’s face since he woke up has hurt, for reasons Athena can’t quite explain to herself. Bobby has been shaking with relief, giddy with it, grinning down at the kid in awe whenever he’s in the room. Maybe that’s it; while Buck was unconscious she was needed as a rock, she had to be the solid foundation everyone could build themselves around. It’s okay now. Buck is awake — alive — and still sore, still not well, but he’s going to be okay. They can all relax. But here she is, standing guard, because everyone is alright and she can take her turn giving into paranoia and catastrophe.

She doesn’t think that’s quite it, though. It’s… she’s having trouble with the timeline. The facts of the case don’t feel like they’re adding up right, though she knows they’re true. Sunday afternoon: Evan Buckley was at the home of Robert Nash and Athena Grant. He was there for lunch. He sat at the kitchen table and he laughed, and he smiled. Monday night: Evan Buckley, in the regular course of his job, climbed a ladder to aid in putting out a fire in an apartment building. He was struck by lightning, and he died. Bobby, the one time she convinced him to come home and sleep in a bed, wept that he had again held the body of his son. Thursday morning: After four days in a coma fighting organ failure and other yet unknown effects of being hit by 300 million volts of electricity, Evan Buckley woke up. He woke up. He laughed with his father, with the rest of his family. He smiled, bright as he always has.

He smiled, he died, he’s smiling again. That’s what happened, indisputable, but each part of it feels wrong, feels tainted by the central event. How could he have smiled so happily on Sunday, when that was going to happen the next day? How can he smile so happily now that it has? He was in her house. She shouldn’t have let him leave.

“Alright,” Eddie says, pulling wet wipes, a spray bottle, various other things out of the bag. “I’m not gonna lie to you; after a few days of this your hair is going to feel as disgusting as it does now just in new and exciting ways, but hopefully by then you’ll be home. Or- at least they’ll let you take a real shower.”

Buck laughs, running a finger over the spines of a hair brush. “Dude, anything will be better than this. I feel like I’m made of grease.” He reaches a hand up — to run it through his limp hair, maybe — but winces and lowers it carefully again. Athena holds her breath yards away as Eddie freezes, minutely, just a tiny second of stillness before he’s smiling and opening the wipes.

“Well,” Eddie says, voice just as cheerful as before, “Luckily for you I am a master of the unsatisfying hospital hair cleaning routine.”

Buck almost giggles, shoulders wiggling like the way a child laughs. “Oh, please, show me your ways.”

Eddie holds up the wipe first. “Sorry this smells so flowery, but it’s the wettest brand of wipes I‘ve found.” He starts to hand the damp square to Buck, but hesitates. “Uh- I was going to let you- but it’ll be uncomfortable for- do you want me to just…”

“Sure,” Buck smiles. “I trust you.”

Eddie only made it in the room once while Buck was out, as far as Athena is aware. He’d haunted the hall like a ghost or a watchdog, though she supposes she’s not really one to talk while she’s posted out here. She watches as he directs Buck to scoot closer and stands as far to the back of the bed as he can get so he’s sort of behind Buck. She wonders if he’ll hesitate to touch him. She did. Since he woke up nearly 24 hours ago she has put a hand on his shoulder, once. It had been warm. He’d been moving, a little, half dead and even then unable to keep still. Eddie squeezes the wipe above Buck’s head, dripping faintly floral dampness, and then starts moving the cloth around his curls, and he doesn’t hesitate at all. Athena breathes in and out. Not half dead, she reminds herself. Mostly living.

Buck isn’t moving much now. He looks utterly relaxed as Eddie cleans away days of hospital grime. The man is so gentle about it, movements incredibly soft and slow, a hand supporting Buck’s head any time he needs to reposition to get at a new spot. She’d assumed this is a trick he’d learned after getting shot, but wonders now if this is an older skill, perfected on his child’s curls after any of Christopher’s hospital stays.

“Alright,” Eddie says, several discarded wipes later. He sets the last one on the mattress with a little flourish. “Step one complete.”

Buck opens eyes that drifted shut at some point, laughing quietly. “God, I feel better already.”

“Well, now it’s time for detangling, so don’t be too happy with me yet.”

Buck snorts, gingerly passing back the hair brush. “I’ll be brave, do your worst.”

Buck can’t see Eddie’s face with the way he’s standing, but Athena has a clear view. Sort of sad, kind of frightened. Athena is suddenly sure that he’s only ever going to do his absolute best for the man in the bed before him. “Okay,” he says, a warning before he starts, and she’s surprised that his voice doesn’t shake.

He begins with his fingers, pulling them so very carefully through the knotted strands, and it’s so intimate that Athena looks away on instinct. She counts all the chairs she can see in the waiting room, she reads all the signs on the walls. She doesn’t look in the room again until Buck speaks.

“Thank you.” He’s looking up at Eddie, neck craned as he tilts his head back, and she knows all the jokes about our Buckaroo, resident golden retriever, but it makes her think of a cat she had when she was younger. The tiny thing would plaster herself to your side and lean her head back up against you, so much love in her gaze you couldn’t help but smile back. Eddie smiles back, now.

“It’s no problem, Buck.”

“I can still thank you,” Buck says as Eddie leans over him to grab the spray bottle. Dry shampoo. He mists Buck’s head with it, ruffling his hair to get it evenly coated. “It’s polite.”

Eddie laughs, and Athena hadn’t realized his laughter before had been a little muted. “You don’t have to be polite to me.”

Buck grins. “Fine. Gel me up, peon.”

Eddie laughs again, loud and cackly, as he grabs the last tub from the bag. “Yes, sir. I got a pomade, it’s a little lighter than your normal stuff so hopefully the build up won’t feel so bad.”

“Okay.”

Eddie moves so he can see Buck’s face again, working the product into his hair and doing some light styling. The pomade doesn’t have much hold, his curls remain more prominent than they usually are, but he looks cleaner, a little neater, and definitely happier once Eddie is finished.

“There you are.” Eddie says, sitting back down in the chair pulled up to Buck’s bedside. He raises a pointed eyebrow, lips curved into a smirk. “Remember to leave a five star yelp review.”

Buck throws his head back in laughter, and Eddie sways forward into the orbit of it. The look on his face is- he’s lovestruck. She’d wondered about that — with more and more frequency lately, every story from Buck starting and ending with the other man — but she doesn’t know Eddie as well as some of the others on Bobby’s team and hadn’t wanted to assume. There is no doubt, though, looking at him now. Strangely, it makes Athena feel a little better. She definitely hadn’t known Eddie when his wife had passed but she knows it happened. She remembers Emmet, thinks of Marcy. Michael, and then Bobby. Buck and Eddie. The timeline — smiles, death, smiling again — is one she knows, after all, just in a different context, on a longer timeline.

When Buck leans forward again after his guffaw Eddie hasn’t moved back, so they end up very close to each other, matching grins reflecting between them. Eddie spots a bit of product near Buck’s temple and reaches up with a thumb to wipe it away, and it’s such a casual gesture until, suddenly, Eddie’s breath catches in his throat. When he falls apart he does it with a swift efficiency that something in Athena admires. His face shatters, his whole body slumps forward like a puppet with cut strings, a sob rattles up out of him with no preamble.

Buck’s eyes are wide, but he doesn’t necessarily look surprised. “Oh, Eddie…” he breathes, leaning even closer on his pillow.

“S-sorry,” Eddie gasps, scrubbing at his face like the touch of his palm will put him back together, sucking in air to try and stop the weeping. “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Buck’s tone is so gentle, so patient. Athena realizes she still thinks of him as a kid — a fool kid much of the time — but he doesn’t seem so young as he rests a calm hand on Eddie’s arm.

“For- I- I shouldn’t fall apart like this.”

“Why not?” Buck asks, laughing just a little. “You know I was a mess when you- it’s fine, Eds.”

“But-“

“You want me to forgive you?” Buck asks, eyebrows raised, a look on his face like he’d wanted the same, once. “I will. You’re forgiven.”

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t-“ Eddie takes a few more shuddering breaths and Buck just waits him out. “I couldn’t come in here. You were in here and I couldn’t- I left you alone.”

“I forgive you,” Buck says, easy as anything. Eddie’s face pinches up again, and he shakes his head sort of desperately even as Buck’s hand soothes up and down between wrist and elbow.

“I broke your ribs,” he says, voice cracking like the bones must have under his frantic compressions.

Buck’s free hand travels to his chest, and his fingers tap a little heartbeat rhythm there. “I forgive you, Eddie.”

“I love you,” Eddie says, in a voice Athena has heard in interrogation rooms and the priest’s box after Sunday mass. Buck’s inhale can’t be very loud, but she hears it all the way from the hall.

“I’m not forgiving you for that,” he says, a little winded but very firm. He sits up in his bed, ignoring Eddie’s worried hands hovering around him as he puts his own on either side of Eddie’s face. “I’m not- please, don’t apologize for that.”

“Sorry- I- I mean-“ Eddie smiles like he can’t help it as Buck’s gentle amused huff hits his face, even as tears still stream across his skin. “I won’t. I just wish I’d told you sooner.”

“You can tell me now,” Buck says, sliding a thumb over Eddie’s wet cheek. “Again. You can tell me again, and- and tomorrow, and the next day- I’m right here. It’s not too late, Eddie. I’m right here.”

Eddie nods, breathing unevenly again, and then they sort of fall into each other, holding and being held, so carefully but tight enough that Athena isn’t sure of the force it would take to pull them apart again. She inhales long and exhales slow. She can sort of see Buck’s face, smiling into Eddie’s shoulder, and it still hurts but she can maybe see how it might not, eventually. Right here, and tomorrow and the next day. He’ll still be in the hospital for a little while but- maybe, when he’s settled back at home, he’d like to come over for lunch.

Athena stands up straight, takes one last long look, and leaves Buck in safe hands.

[thedepressedjuggalette]

Arcane is a GOTHIC Show.

No, not Goth like Goth music, I mean GOTHIC as in Gothic Literature like Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or literally anything written by Edgar Allen Poe.

I am dead ass serious. Or maybe I'm just insane.(Spoilers ahead!!!)

Now it is okay if you didn't pick up on this, I am just one of those extremely weird kids that grew up reading Gothic Literature so much that it was almost an unhealthy obsession so I kind of spotted this within the first 6 episodes of the first season.

Now if you don't believe me when I say that Arcane is Gothic in nature I need to ask you this:

Did Arcane ask these simple questions:

What does it mean to be human?

What defines humanity?

When is a person too far gone?

Can grief ruin a person?

Can trying to help others turn to destroying others?

And can obsession turn to madness?

These specific questions are the very questions I've noticed pop up a LOT in OLD SCHOOL Gothic literature.

For instance Viktor is a lot like Viktor Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll (more so Dr. Jekyll) in the sense that he slowly loses his humanity the further he pushes his research before finally falling to a destructive path. He quite literally loses himself to his own research and by his own research subject.

Singed (Dr. Ravick) is more Viktor Frankenstein than anything else. So obsessed with bringing the dead back to life. But whereas Frankenstein was obsessed with the idea of it that he never thought if he should. Singed found it merely to be nothing more than an illness needing to be cured because he couldn't stand the idea of losing his daughter.

Gothic Literature came out after the Romantic Literature Era, however in the Romantic Literature Era a lot of writers were protesting workplace mistreatment such as forcing children into working in coal mines and cleaning chimneys, along with the obsession of nature, Gothic Literature focused on the morality of Humanity, what it meant to be human and what defines us and how quickly a person can fall into insanity (aka mental health issues).

The first to start this was Mary Shelley over a small bet with her husband and several other authors. Her work was mortifying in comparison to the others because of what it forced the reader to think about.

Her work took place during the Enlightened Era where scientists were obsessed with Progress (Riot I fucking saw this shit coming, fuck you guys), and how if as a species can we become like god and make something from our own deaths and if we even should?

Shelley doesn't directly answer this but we actively see through her writing the death of a god -- Viktor Frankenstein -- because Adam (the monster) views his creator with contempt and disgust and thus demands his Eve despite Frankenstein's reluctance.

Can you imagine what Vander would've thought of Singed?

Can we really say that Vander would not view Singed as both his Savior and Destroyer. Can we even call Vander human? Or is he something else entirely? We can't call him a werewolf in the traditional sense, so what truly is he? He is the Adam of a species not meant to exist. Is he even Vander anymore or is he truly Warwick?

A lot of Poe's writing is very much about madness and grief. Well... To me anyways, it could just be my obsession with his poem The Raven (it reminds me of my great grandmother).

And I've personally in my own life seen how grief can destroy a person physically -- their despair destroying their physical health because that person feels their life died with that person. And I fear every day for my grandma to head down the same path that her sisters are when they pass.

But it's the mentality that the more subtle and at the same time the most extravagant thing to be destroyed through grief.

We see this repeatedly with Jinx and Vi.

They lost their stability the moment that their brothers and Vander died, and when Jinx thought Vi was dead.

They had already lost their bio parents, so this was another nail in their coffins. However Vi had no idea if Jinx was alive or dead and thus had that to hold onto despite being beaten bloody in an unstable environment that is prison.

Jinx however had her grief and trauma constantly lectured into her and had to form her personality around it. She even comments on it in episode 9 of season 1. Silco didn't know how to be a dad, but he was trying his best but he was a grown ass man when he had his personality reformation unlike Jinx who was like 10.

Her grief was haunting her and ruining her mental health.

I had recently learned that psychotic depression is a thing.

With her guilt and grief and PTSD eating her alive she was bound to go the road she went down. But what truly killed Jinx was the death of Isha.

I want to make it clear that I don't view Jinx and Isha's relationship as sisterly. I view it as maternal due to the comparisons between her and Silco and Isha to Powder.

However the point still stands.

She, like Silco, could not stand the mere idea of their child being in any sort of life threatening situation -- especially dealing with enforcers -- and thus would jump to protect them. But they both fail at the end in many ways.

Vi literally stopping Jinx from getting Isha out of there, and Silco being unable to stop Vi from triggering Jinx's PTSD.

And there's one more thing about Jinx we need to address...

If there is one thing I know about bullying and brainwashing is that if you keep telling someone they're worthless etc. one day they're going to believe you, and you cannot be surprised they do and when they act accordingly. Especially when the victim is a child. This is why suicide in children and teens is so devastating and cannot be fixed with religion or weird as hell wrestlers or stupid manosphere podcasts.

We don't know how long Powder had to put up with Mylo's bullying of her, but telling by her reaction to and how the loudest and most negative voice she hears from her hallucinations is his voice... I'd have to say that it started from the moment they met up to his death and it was sealed when Vi hit her and called her a Jinx.

"Who truly made Jinx?" is a question that has been brought up by everyone and their mother by this point. Some agree with the character herself when she said that it was Vi. Others agree with Silco when Jinx stated that Silco thinks he made Jinx.

Some reading this might say "Oh my god was it Mylo???"

I disagree on all fronts.

There is one video essay I keep coming back to because anyone with any sense of media literacy will outright point this same shit out but not as... Artfully as the essay itself.

It is called "Arcane, a Monster Factory" and it starts out with a single statement:

"Piltover breaks people."

And ends with a terrifying statement:

"Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I start to think that maybe Piltover is more realistic than I'd like to think..."

It wasn't a single person that made Jinx. It was the entire city.

I want to point to Episode 7 to show you what I mean.

Without the death of Grayson but instead the death of Vi and without the creation of Hextech and Silco choosing to forgive Vander, Powder herself changed for the better and never needed to become Jinx. Rather she focused her energy on helping everyone around her -- and not taking time for herself in the process but we've always seen this even in Jinx. She focused on helping Silco then jumped to just trying to destroy for the sake of destroying only to end up helping the under city without meaning to, only to help Isha, and never really helping herself.

No matter what she'd have liked to think, she could've done wonders. Viktor even said so himself. She could do a lot to help his commune with her talents.

Even said it when he was looking at her bomb for the first time, calling her work "inspired".

She is talented but her talents never got the chance to truly shine.

Imagine what she and Ekko could've done if they were able to attend Piltover's academy.

But as stated before, Piltover breaks people.

Piltover made Jinx.

And in a cruel twist of fate it made the two people who cared about her the most hold the blame for the city's actions.

The ending of Arcane was fumbled when it came to Jayce's speech to Viktor and I'll stand by that because it was the fault of Piltover for Viktor having a preventable disease and thus leading to his obsession with avoiding death and avoiding needless suffering.

But in this ending these two science husbands did ask the one question that truly defines Gothic Literature.

What does it mean to be human?

And it's answer is one that I am unsure about because no one can truly define the human experience. The experience of life. The grief. The pain. The love. The joy. All of it.

In my own fanfic for a completely different fandom I had two characters talk about emotions. One couldn't truly feel emotions while another could. It took me a long while to try to figure out how to answer the question of "What is it like to feel emotions?"

It's hard to answer, isn't it?

I did figure it out though, having to take a page out of Kindred's playbook. But it was one I was very satisfied with.

It is questions like these be them asked through subtle writing cues, or blatantly asked by the characters themselves, they define Gothic Literature to me.

Arcane is the beautiful marriage of Greek Tragedy and Gothic Literature.

[howi99]

Jaune is a Genuis Au: How about what happened to Penny,Lewis,Alyx and the Cat?

Follow up to this post. Also, disclaimer: the cat has a different way of subjugating people in this AU and is a bit more powerful.

Ruby: *looking at Penny, who only seem asleep in her lifepod* What... Happened? To both of you?

Roman: *sitting in a chair* What red said, me and Neo been waiting forever to know the whole story- *Neo kick his leg* gaoutch! Why!?

Neo: "Don't be an ass"

The Puppeteer: ... *Sigh while sitting down* I am the sole reason for the state she's in.

Weiss: Impossible! You'd never hurt her, even if your life depends on it!

The Puppeteer: *looking down* I wish you'd be right Weiss... *Shakily breath* But i had no other choice.

Yang: *eyes turning red* You are saying you almost killed Penny!? What did she do to deserve this!!!

Marie: *Putting herself between Jaune and team RWBY*

The Puppeteer: *sad chuckle* She was at the worst place at the worst time. They say curiosity killed the cat? What a joke, the cat killed curiosity, kindness and any hope to get out of here.

???: Oh but Jaune~ She chose to voluntarily be my host. Remember? A live for a live?

RWBY+RN: *looking around, wandering where the voice is coming from*

The Cat: *taking form from Jaune's shadow, chained by Jaune aura* I'm here! *Chuckle* I present myself: i am the Curious Cat, pleased to meet the second team i saw most in my jailers dream~

Marie: *looking furiously at the cat, trying to kick without any luck since the cat is intangible*

The Cat: Ah~ i see you are still angry about your mom and sister? What a shame, you can't hurt me as long as i am jailed~

Ruby: *shacking angrily* I assume this is the real culprit of hee condition?

The Puppeteer: He is. But i still was the one to hurt her...

P: *looking at Jaune, seeing that he's having difficulty bringing how Penny almost died* I can explain to them the story if you-

The Puppeteer: No, i... I should be the one to explain. *Looking at team RWBY+ RN* It happened 10 years ago...

______________

Jaune: Alyx, Where are you? *Shacking his head* Gods be damned, where the hell is she?

Alyx: *from afar* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jaune: *turning to the direction of the scream* ALYX!? *Sprinting in her direction*

// I thought i got rid of all danger from the forest, but i was wrong...//

Alyx: *trying to run away from the danger, seeing Jaune* JAUNE! HELP! T-THE CAT! HE- *she fall to the ground, her ankle twisted* Aw!

Jaune: *Running even faster to her* Alyx!

// I couldn't stop it, i was to far...//

Penny: *coming slowly from the forest, blue filaments making her move like a puppet* P-please... No... I don't want to hurt...

The cat: *whose magic is controlling her* If i can't break her to my will, she has no purpose.

.

.

.

Kill her.

__________

The Cat: *chuckling* It was a blast! Poor Alyx getting killed by the one she wanted to call her mother. *Hysterical laugh*

The Puppeteer: Silence! Remember the only reason i keep you alive is to give me more time! Don't make me reconsider even more.

Team RWBY: *looking horrified at the cat*

Roman: *disgusted* I have done many crimes in my life, some i regret from the bottom of my wretched soul. But that's.. that's...

Neo: "You killed her for your own pleasure?"

The cat: *chuckling* Pleasure? I did take some but it wasn't the objective. I needed to break her, to make her empty. And what better way than making her kill an innocent child?

Marie: *furiously trying to kill the cat, still unable to*

The Puppeteer: ... I couldn't save either of them... But i'll make it right, i'll bring them back even if it takes centuries.

Weiss: Is that why you keep the cat!? Jaune, she wouldn't want that! She-

The Puppeteer: *angry* You think i don't know that!? I don't care what she would want, she's basically dead! The kid i was supposed to protect has been buried by my own hands! I'm dot doing this for them, i'm doing this for me Weiss! Because if i can't even save a kid and my own wife...

.

.

.

What good am i?

[esmedelacroix]

21 days til' Christmas

building a snowman with singleparent!miguel o'hara and gabriela⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

--------------------------------------------------------

Gabriela was on winter vacation but Miguel still worked eight hours a day. He may have been his own boss but he still held himself accountable and worked just as much as his own employees. It was only fair.

You had been babysitting Gabi for ages. It had been almost two years since you started babysitting her. She had grown up so much in these past couple of years. Miguel also grew a lot as a parent and as a person.

You and Miguel only became official about six months ago despite Gabi's effort to get the two of you together from the get-go.

You were helping Gabrelia get the last of her snow protection on when you heard the door swing open, You heard fast and heavy footsteps running up the stairs at an alarmingly fast speed. Miguel made his way to the doorframe with his coat still on and his glasses on the top of his head. "Papa's on vacation!" Miguel exclaimed as he held his arms out for Gabriela.

She bolted towards him and jumped into his arms. He lifted her up and peppered her face with kisses until she made disgusted noises.

"Papa! That tickles!" she squealed giggling like crazy.

Miguel gave you a look before giving you a quick kiss.

"We were just about to go play in the snow, wanna join us Miguel?" you asked.

"Of course, I love spending time with my girls," he answered as the three of you stepped outside and began a crazy snowball fight.

Gabriella made a 'snowball' that was almost as tall as she was and tried her hardest to pick it up to throw at her dad.

"I don't think you can throw something this big mama, but we can make a snowman," Miguel suggested.

"Yay! Snowman!" Gabi cheered as she jumped up and down beginning to make the second layer. She was surprisingly good at making snowmen for a six-year-old.

You and Miguel made the head together and all three layers were formed perfectly.

"Gabi, let's go inside and get some clothes and such for the snowman so we can bring him alive," you said, taking her hand.

Miguel watched the two of you giggle and run around the house lovingly. He finally felt complete. He felt like it was his fault that Gabirelia's mother had died that day, he felt like he was the reason his daughter had no mother figure to look up to, and he felt like it was his fault that his beautiful Gabi grew up in an incomplete family for all those years.

That was until you came around and taught him how to forgive himself. How to stop blaming himself for inevitable things. You taught him that he is just a mere human, that every bad thing that happens in his life can't be his fault because he's not the one making them happen.

The two of you came back out with a carrot, scarf, sticks, pebbles, and a hat.

You both sang Frosty the Snowman obnoxiously until Miguel joined in while you gave your snowman buttons, a mouth, eyes a nose, a scarf, and finally its hat, which brought it to life.

"What should we name them?" Miguel asked Gabi.

"Jaxx!" she exclaimed.

Who's that? Miguel asked with his eyes

Kid she likes at school. You answered almost telepathically.

You didn't know how the two of you communicated with just your eyes but it came in handy at times.

Miguel laughed to himself, happy to see Gabriela having crushes and talking to you about them.

"Alright both of you let's get inside and have some hot baths and soup," Miguel said, ushering the two of you back into the house. The two of you groaned not wanting to leave.

"Come on, you ladies are going to catch a cold if you don't," he warned.

To that, Gabi responded by running into the house and going to her bathroom.

"Thanks for looking after her Cariño[honey], I can't express enough how thankful I am to you," Miguel said.

"I love Gabi, and I love you just as much, it's always a pleasure Miguel," you reassured as you draped your arms over his shoulder causing him to pull you in by the waist.

"You wanna know what else is always a pleasure?" Miguel asked.

You looked at him with a puzzled look.

"This," he said as he started tickling you, causing you to erupt into violent laughter.

"Stop- Bahahaha, Miguel please," you barely chuckled out.

He laughed at your reaction before ushering you up the stairs for a bath.

--------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @aripet22@to-the-endoftheline

[allwormdiet]

Shell 4.3

In which we finally discuss the locker

Little surprised that Alec is taking the lead on this one, but pleasantly so

And yeah, here we finally get an explanation for powers and triggers and all that, or at least the foundations of it

...Also there's no way that Glory Girl triggered just because of a basketball game, that has to be a crock of shit. What's up with New Wave claiming to be the most open hero team and then coming off the shadiest? How am I trusting these people less than I trust the government capes?

I like that they make a point of reassuring her after her blunder. She couldn't have known, and they know that, and they don't hold it against her. I love these kids.

Brian seems more comfortable smacking Alec around than he does Rachel. I don't think that's a thing of not wanting to hit women, last arc he decked Vista like she owed him money. Maybe it's that Rachel intentionally provokes that reaction and Alec is just kind of a little shit? Idk

Again, I remain utterly fixated on how this is Taylor's one line, the thing she refuses to compromise on ever. I'll buy that she doesn't want outside interference from the Undersiders or other capes when it comes to the bully situation, but it's harder to do that when she never makes a move herself.

This is so. Evil. Like, the false friendship, the rotting tampons, the imprisonment. The fact that nobody who sees this play out even bothers to help her. The fact that she's trapped for hours. If that didn't give someone a trigger event, I'm not sure anything would.

Alec is actually so real for this. Like for all that he was disgusted with the story (which, fair) his disgust isn't with Taylor, it's with the fuckers who did that to her. And Brian agrees with him! Lisa is making a point of not disagreeing, even.

Oh hey, Taylor actually acknowledges her thing with anger and violent retribution. Glad she's cognizant of that, it'd be a whole situation if she wasn't tbh

Actually thank god for Alec keeping up this line of thinking, this might be the most passionate we've seen him get about anything. The runner up is like, him being annoyed he can't keep Kid Win's skateboard, and that's peanuts compared to this. Maybe he's wrong about the revenge thing but I don't know that he is, and he's definitely not wrong about the indignity that Taylor is allowing herself to suffer

I don't think this is half the lie that Taylor thinks it is. For all that she has noble intentions, and I don't doubt she'll do her best with those... I don't think Taylor's drive to be a superhero was entirely selfless. This isn't all truth and justice going on here, this is feeling strong and being appreciated by others and not being looked at like a bottom-feeder.

Wonder when she'll figure that out for herself

Get cared about idiot! Get absolutely blanketed with affection and approval from the people who would absolutely rip your bullies apart if you asked them to!

You know. I think Brian's trigger event is one of the ones I know the least about? I know the broad strokes of almost every other Undersider, but I don't think I know anything about his.

Current Thoughts

Even knowing what's coming, reading through Taylor's ordeal with the locker is so fucking heartbreaking. She could've died in there and the consolation prize she got was not worth the cost of admission, that's for damn sure. Emma Barnes is a fucking maniac for this one.

The stuff about powers and trigger events is a pretty neat concept, and I like how it kind of contextualizes most capes as being fucked up. Like, I'm thirteen years late to the party on this one, but what a fascinating fucking idea to build your superhero setting on.

Alec really shone through for me in this chapter. Maybe I relate as someone who finds it easier to get angry on others' behalf than to be angry for myself, or maybe it's just nice to see him get fired up about something. I like this kid.

...Got work and a family thing today, but I'll see if I can't slip some more updates in. I'll probably read some at least and double back with my thoughts if nothing else

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Why do people give Harry more Black family storylines than Draco?!

It's hard being a Draco fan...well a canon Draco fan. If you want great fics that explore his character, you have to deal with a bunch of Drarry and sometimes Dramione. That's not even factoring in how OOC Draco is in so many of these fics. That's why I partly gave up on Drarry fics. It's almost impossible to find a good Draco fic that does not involve him shagging someone in the golden trio.

But this post was inspired by posts by Snaters and/or Dumbles antis who claim Harry should have named his son after Regulus. Here are my grievances:

There needs to be more exploration of DRACO as the Black heir

I don't know how Siri was able to keep his fortune when he was supposedly disowned but it's very frustrating seeing fics where Harry is the Black heir and becomes Lord Black. Just stop and think for a moment. Draco is literally the only pureblood Black offspring left! The Black line is basically extinct! And if you factor in Drastoria, Draco was willing to let his maternal AND paternal lines fade away! The only time Draco's Black heritage seems to be brought up is in fics where abusive Lucius disowns him. It's just sad. Harry is NOT a Black! As much as I love Godfather!Sirius, part of me is disgusted that Harry inherited Grimmauld's place. That house should belong to Narcissa and Draco and I don't care if I am the only one on this hill.

More Regulus & Draco, please!

People seem to prefer to write a relationship with Reggie and Harry. Which makes a bit of sense...but wouldn't it be more interesting to explore Draco & Reggie?? Draco and Regulus are family and they share quite a few similarities. I have seen some fics where Narcissa is so protective of DE!Draco because she sees him as a second chance after she failed Reggie. Or I have seen some fics where Regulus lives but so many of those center on Harry and Draco is lucky to be an afterthought. Why is Draco so divorced from his Black family? There's hardly any exploration with Draco & Sirius either. I don't even recall Draco expressing any feelings about Sirius as a family member in book 3 when the dude is his cousin! Draco, Harry's rival, is related to his beloved godfather and NOTHING is done with this! Like WTH!!!

The positive side!

At least there are incredible fics out there that explore Draco's relationship with Andy and the Tonks family. I love Dora being Draco's surrogate big sister 🤩. So cute!!! I also like the Tonks family being involved in Draco's redemption and Ted being so fatherly towards Draco. Chef's kiss. Please, let Draco interact with his family 😞! Why is JKR so against Draco having a family?! Even his damn wife dies in CC!!! He only has one kid! Please, give this man an extended family!

[swmmi-kti]

One of a kind

Pairing: Kokushibo x Reincarnated Fem!Y/n

-*-*--*-*--*-*--*-*--*-*--*-*--*-*--*-*-

When he was still human he had found life boring and stale, and that was no secret at all. Time passed far slower and painfully dull. But when he married it was as if the gods had finally enlightened him. His wife was one out of many and in those many years he has never forgotten you. How the moons passed and every time he got slight glimpses of it he remembered how no greater glow lived in this world since you had passed. 

But Gods always were cruel. Had he come back to you any time when you still graced the earth with your soul then he would have asked if you would have joined him too. However the one time he had found your old home. You had been slaughtered. At the fellow hands of his brethren. 

Your kids are nowhere in sight. It eased his mind but a bit. However for many nights he had stayed next to your decomposing corpse. His hunger subsided as he held you. Cradling you as he had done nights where your pregnant belly was too much to bare. 

He would much rather live in a world where you rested peacefully than forever tied down to a world that forced you to kill. 

After almost nothing remained he had buried you. Finally at ease and with it you took his heart. His heart no longer had that burning passion it had before. It emptied and the glass was half full. When he had killed his brother it felt as if all of it was finally gone. 

He was just  upper moon one. And that is all he would be. Vague memories lived on in the depths of his mind, stashed away was the flute he made for his dearest brother and next to it a hairpin that he had bestowed on you before your wedding. His two most prized objects. 

And they were laying out far from his reach. How did he get here? How on earth did it end this way? 

Tonight he knew he would have encountered a slayer. He knew that but he needn’t frighten himself. No greater power known to man could make him fear. 

But those same eyes that had watched him with nothing but adoration and then hatred when he had abandoned them. Now haunted his very core. The gods are cruel and they tortured him since he could remember. 

He didn’t care for slayers. Didn’t care enough, just ended their lives and that was all that they got from him. 

However those eyes that had once stared at him were here once again. A different kind of hatred now stared back at him. One of disgust. Perhaps even fear too. Somehow, Someway your figure stood before him. 

Your hands how calloused over as it held onto the handle of your blade, Those eyes piercing right through his very core.The once elegance you had the poise it all vanished as he stood as your enemy. 

It was then he realized he would rather prefer you be his enemy than have to kill you and have to live in a world where you didn’t exist at all. 

He knew he was crazy, mad perhaps and he wondered did you remember too. 

“..what is your… Name?” He asked speaking after so long of not sparing his breath. 

Your eyes widened a little. The hold on your blade never loosening but the pattern of your heart elevated. 

“I’m Y/n.” You speak with the voice he has never forgotten

Oh how awful of a crude joke this was. Standing as enemies when years ago you stood together as each other’s 

Yes. There was obvious differences in you of the past and you of the now. But beneath all that you were still the same. He wanted to say his sorrys for abandoning you, abandoning his family. Wanted to say some apology and in hopes that somehow you remembered it all. 

If he were any less than sane he’d probably turn you into a demon be at his side as you always should have been. But those eyes never held any recollection.

Did you cry when he left? How hard did you cry? Did you really hate him or want him back? Did you suffer when you died? Did you know where his children were? Did you go down protecting them? Or did you have a quick death?

“Do you…remember who i am?” He asked hand now resting on his own handle.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before” 

He knew that was going to happen. He did. And it didn't make it hurt any less than it does.

“You are the upper moon one. And I may not be able to kill you. But i'd rather go down trying than never knowing i had a chance” 

Fights always bored him. They always ended far sooner than he would have hoped. But this was taking too long. He knew why. His own hesitance withheld him and he didn't know why.

Why did he not want to kill you? Why on earth were you the only thing that kept him the least bit happy when nothing ever seemed too. What was so special about you in the first place? 

For the first time ever he felt a shiver run up his spine and for the first time ever he let a slayer live.

[remscreams]

“why didn’t you say this to me when i was alive ?”

cw: university au, suguru x fem!reader, angst, mention of mental troubles, destructive behavior and death by su!cide.

IN WHICH… suguru vividly dreams of you, about all the things he should have told you when you were still beside him.

disclaimer: i am not romanticizing these topics and if you feel overwhelmed by the topic please do not interact with this post, i will make plenty of others but your safety comes first and it matters! also if you need to talk this or this can help! take care of yourself please!

SWEAT WAS pearling on his forehead, his expression looking hurtful even though he was asleep. He saw you again, your beautiful hair, your contagious smile that you used to hide all your sufferance.

HIS DREAM was horrifyingly vivid. You were seating on his huge bedroom, telling him how it sucks that it was so empty.

“Seriously, everything in your room is white. Looks like a hospital if you ask me,” you complained, chewing on some snacks he got for you both.

“Good thing i didn’t ask for y’r opinion smartass.”

SMARTASS USED to be how he called you, he was your academic rival and this time, you beat him on a test. Your rivalry wasn’t the toxic kind, it was more like a friendly one and you asked him to never pity you on it.

IF HE knew back then, that your scholarship depended on your results he would’ve let you have the first place. Yet you didn’t tell him anything and he found it out the hard way.

“Why did you hide your condition to me ?” He asked, untying his usual bun.

“What you mean ?” You smiled like you usually used to when a something that you wanted to hide got discovered, a nervous and static smile.

“The situation with your aunt.”

YOUR AUNT, or rather your father’s older sister adopted you when he died by a sudden heart attack. She didn’t loved you, neither did her husband who always had his disgusting eyes on you. But as she could not conceive kids, she was having you as her daughter.

THOUGHT YOU were only her daughter on other people’s watch. Inside of her house, you were treated more like a housekeeper than any other thing.

the smile falls down, your gaze slightly blurred by the tears forming. “Why would i tell that lame story of mine ?”

“Because i cared,” he says, holding an eye contact with you as his hands cupped your face. “I would’ve been here for you.”

YOUR SKIN under his hold was cold, and his hands were radiating warmth. Oh, how much would he give to the heavens to make this moment real.

HIS WISH was to hold you, to tell you that you weren’t alone, nor needed to be afraid. If only you told him, or if only he could have seen the distress signs coming from you, Suguru would have been there by your side.

“God, i feel so sorry…” he said, shaking his head, as his silky perfect hair were following the gesture.

“You don’t need to be sorry.”

HE PAINTED you in his dream, as someone who wouldn’t like pity. Because that would have been the only reason for you to hide all the shit that was in your life.

YOU WERE a star, too bright and you exploded, unable to keep it all together. Home wasn’t home, working for school was making you overworked, insomnia was getting the last tiny bits of your sanity and last but not least, depression that made you hit the deep dark.

“I love you. I love you so much and i never fucking had the courage to tell you this. I remember all the good times that we had, the silly dances, the before exams sessions, the competition between us, and all those times when we almost kissed.” Suguru rambled, overwhelmed by the thought of losing you once again as he felt himself regaining consciousness.

“Why didn’t you say that to me when i was alive ?”

THE ONLY question that kept wandering in his mind, as your image was fading away from his mind. And it was one of those days, when he could only listen to the last voicemail that you sent to him before letting yourself drown in the river of the town.

ONCE MORE, he thought about how he missed you. But it was also one more reason to fight for his life and success. So at least, you would be proud of him.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

season 1 episode 13 thoughts

A SCULLY EPISODE!!!! i was overjoyed and then i felt deep and immeasurable grief as the minutes went by.

she wants to leave her christmas tree up all year <3 she's a good cook <3 her dad calls her starbuck <3

but her dad is being avoidant! he didn't even say i love you when he left!

! dana scully lore reveal ! her dad lowkey sucks!!!

and then he IMMEDIATELY DIED right after! that is sick and twisted. why do they make my girl endure such pain.

the next note i made for the episode was "omg windows you have to crank!" which was a brief moment of levity among the Sorrow. except even the guy doing the said window cranking was kidnapped right after. still, the novelty of it all!

when scully came into work even though her dad had just died... we see mulder call her "dana" for the first time... she was visibly taken aback by this... and mumbled her name back to herself... my heart was melting out of my body

and when i thought i was going to already collapse from the "dana" moment, he tells her she should take some time for herself and then. softly cups her cheek. and strokes it with his thumb. holy fuck i nearly sobbed. it was the softest thing i have ever seen. what the hell man.

he has this instinctive need to touch her. to use his touch to keep her safe or bring her comfort. it will be psychoanalyzed at a later date from me but for now, know i am noticing the motifs.

(also, when he finally left his office, we see that he kept the hat from the alien obsessed guy in episode 10... good to know this is a man who takes souvenirs. take him to the zoo and see what he comes back with)

so then we cutscene to her dad's funeral and we learn that her father was in the navy- perhaps this is why he is unduly harsh. and then we got ANOTHER scene that beat my heart into a pulp: scully turning to her mom and asking "was he proud of me?" her mom waits for a beat and says "he was your father". HEY! THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!!

(who wouldn't be proud of scully? i'm taking names. write them down)

when interrogating the death row psychic mulder once again said "i want to believe" and i once again wrote in my episode notes "HE SAID THE LINE!"

interesting that this is an episode where scully believes and mulder doesn't, almost immediately from the beginning of the episode. but the psychic says stuff her dad would say and therefore she gets emotionally invested even though mulder says it's nonsense, and that this guy is setting them a trap because mulder got him put on death row. and when she listens to the psychic's clue and find evidence at an abandoned warehouse, mulder yells at her for putting herself in danger. to which she said:

"i thought you'd be pleased i opened myself to extreme possibilities"

scully i am REACHING through the screen and telling you i'm proud of you in case no one ever did that before

(and MAYBE mulder yelling at her for putting herself in danger because he thinks he needs to protect her WAS deeply satisfying but still. read the room my king)

(also revealed in this scene: mulder is a jimi hendrix fan. i am tucking this knowledge in my pocket and storing it safely)

then the psychic decided to reveal some of her personal memories and we learn she stole a cigarette when she was 14 and she thought it was disgusting but she wanting to do something they would disapprove of. and she was so scared but so excited. are you kidding me? are you absolutely kidding me. the need to rebel from an assigned role in which she feels she MUST be perfect has haunted her from a young age, and when she finally did something her parents really disprove of- joined the FBI instead of working as a doctor- she's met with rejection. so now we know she's had this terrible need to do what pleases those she loves and to break that is a rush from its inherent moral Wrongness. the isolation of being the Good Child who does what She's Told vs. the isolation of being the Less Good Child who loses their parent's approval. that terrible ache of knowing you once pleased them and now you don't. the conditional nature of affection. ohhhhh good lord.

later mulder gets shot and scully thinks the psychic lured him into a trap which leads to her screaming at him (like SERIOUSLY screaming) that if mulder dies, she'll kill the psychic herself. now this was especially crazy because we have only at this point seen her yell once before which was in episode 8, but this was 10x that intensity. also wild for revealing that she will kill anyone who hurts mulder. once again i say holy FUCK.

mulder is wheeled in to the hospital and still telling her not to believe him, says that he's luring her into another trap. at this point i was yelling "TELL MULDER HE KNEW ABOUT YOUR DAD!" but she was too deep in the grief to bring it up

(throughout the entire episode she is hallucinating her dad in places he isn't, which is arguably far more impactful than just seeing her cry)

when the psychic reveals the location of the murderer and they go to check it out, scully straight up shoots the suspect. she is NOT playing around, y'all. i think this is the first time we see her shoot someone, which is already a lot to unpack. but then she doesn't follow the killer because the psychic had warned her against it and in this way he saves her life.

then she says thank you to the psychic, who says "come to my execution and i'll give your father's message to you" and she DOESN'T GO. mulder asks her why, because now he seems to think that psychic dude really WAS telling the truth, and she no longer does:

"why can't you believe?" "because i'm scared"

she's scared!! she's scared to believe. she's scared to know what is out there and she seemed scared to know what her father had to say. isn't there enough uncertainty in this world ruled by facts and science? what could the possibilities be like beyond that? why believe in what you cannot control? she says she knew what he would say because "he's my father". is that enough for her? or was she too frightened to hear that he wasn't proud of her?

overall i've said "holy fuck" like a LOT during this recap and i truly feel that those are the only words i have for the situation. getting to see more scully lore was EXACTLY what i was hoping for and i'm so pleased but also so so so sad. like she keeps her christmas tree up and she's a good cook and she has this terrible need for her father's approval that he won't give and then he goes and dies. i need about 10 beach episodes to make up for the sadness here. chris carter i'm in ur walls.

[progmanx]

Soo… thoughts on the flip side?

I enjoyed it when I played it, but it left zero lasting impression on me, unlike the first two games. It holds no special place in my heart, and I honestly question why it exists. I think there's a lot you COULD say about sex workers and how that internal perception works, how Jecka's total lack of control in her life paralyzes her, but...I don't think this has really much to say at all. The FYE route reads and feels like a bad South Park episode, which is completely baffling.

And for the love of God if you want to if you NEED to for some reason make a joke about how this kid from the suburbs doesn't know geography SAY PAKISTAN FIRST as the one she is mixing up that was so tone deaf and pointless as a writing decision.

As much as SBN3 talks about how humor and jokes work and that's what he does? Where are the jokes. The same bit with Jecka's dad screaming at her is kind of funny the first time you play it but it's not gonna work twice. There's no longevity there's no LIFE to this, unlike the first two.

Basically none of the humor is actually going to be funny a second time unlike ALL of the Re-Up and a lot of the original game. For something that marketed itself as "the other games matter here to remember" they really didn't except the Nicole suicide route which was done extremely well but...we already did this messaging. That's why it was good we did ALL of this before. There was nothing actually new here to explore or say.

Just a remix in a far more muddied and far less entertaining way. Three routes are about jobs in the Recession which could be really interesting to explore but. They didn't.

I don't even have a problem with the feet thing, tbh, but it's the SAME joke over and over and over and it stops working faster than the game thinks it does imo.

Nicole having toe sex with Jecka's dad feels...baffling and bizarre. Especially after how much time was spent in the sex worker route FOR NICOLE last time. She can't fuck a stranger sober but she can do this? To this old creepy dude she is disgusted by at the start? I know she's vindictive but jfc???

We did this already.

Ms. Ames as the counselor (no she's not she's Remedial English), Kyle as...cited as the guy who killed his mom for Jecka in the opening but then he's just there? Again, talking about how the other games matter but they don't?? There's like. No characterization here, but most of all, above everything else, why I only enjoyed it once and why I don't love it?

There is not one trace of sincerity outside of the Nicole Suicide route. BECAUSE THAT'S FROM THE FIRST GAME. It all feels just so...hollow and forced and frustrated and almost spiteful. Like why the fuck is it ARI who dies and not JECKA KILLING HER DAD?! There's no consistency here, basically everyone is flanderized I just.

what the fuck?

I'm not even that disappointed, since I went in expecting nothing, but to go that hard on the first two and then you show up with whatever the hell this is? Anachronism after anachronism---if you want to talk about instituional cp you need to actually oh gee I dunno give that some fucking room. You SHOULD talk about it if you feel you can in a way that's HELPFUL but shouting it with nothing else to say doesn't do shit and really doesn't fit with...the other games actually saying stuff and meaning it.

I have defended the Mr. White stuff because of how easy the slippery slope of radicalization is but this is just fucking stupid. There's nothing to this. It's a bunch of references in the FYE route and if you can't get Antfish back just do not put the counselor in the voice doesn't work with an impression. There's like. no actual banter in this game, either. There's no solid back and forth.

I doubt I'll stick around for the anime if this is where things are at, like okay man. You had two great things I'll always love them. This gave me a fun evening and I am already struggling to remember anything that happened or anything that was said. The other two are seared into my brain forevermore.

also that last text message was just lazy troll dick move; everyone will think he is being entirely serious.

God just

HOW DO YOU GO FROM HAVING A COMEDY DUO THAT IS UP THERE WITH ABBOT AND COSTELLO TO DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!