#I am not jewish and did not know which spelling of Hanukkah to use so please let me know if I need to change it !

[robbinggoodfellows]

A fun little Nischa holiday fic based on that video I saw of Gus Halper singing Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

To Mischa the holiday season was a time of constant reminders from his adoptive parents that he was not wanted. Mischa's "parents" never gave him gifts, they barely gave him enough to eat or a warm bed to sleep in at night. And warmth meant a lot in Uranium, especially when the snow was blanketing the town and daring to invade Mischa's basement. So he spent the majority of this December in Noel's arms. With any moment the two had to themselves, Mischa would hold his boyfriend tighter than he felt humanly possible.

At first, this kind of affection which was far from unusual for Mischa was just sweet and endearing to Noel. He found it cute that Mischa wanted to lay directly on top of him, insisting he was Noel's blanket. But as the days leading up to Christmas crept up, Noel wondered why the two of them had not been at Mischa's house in weeks. It was normally their hangout spot because they had much more privacy than at Noel's house where his mother typically burst in to the room at the exact worst time. But as he was waiting for Mischa outside of his last class of the day before winter break, he tried to work up the courage to ask Mischa what was wrong.

Noel had the whole conversation scripted out when he realized Mischa would have normally been there by now. Noel looked around, making sure he was the only one within earshot before calling out "Mischa? Love, where are you?" His answer came in the form of sweet piano music from the choir room.

"Misch?" Noel was standing in the doorway of the room, smiling bigger than he normally did as Mischa stopped playing and looked up. "Hey." Mischa responded, his voice was adorably happy as usual, but a bit of pain found its way into his smile. "Chestnuts, huh?" Noel asked, sitting down on the piano bench next to Mischa and kissing his forehead. "Yeah, I fucked it up a bit though" Mischa laughed, and then he sighed and looked down at the keys. Noel wrapped an arm around Mischa's side, guiding Mischas right hand to the keys. He did the same with his other hand, lacing their fingers together and helping Mischa play the notes slowly.

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." Noel started to sing, he waited to Mischa to continue.

"Jack Frost nipping at your nose" Mischa sang at a barely audible whisper, he was too focused on the piano.

"Yuletide carols being sung by a choir" Noel continued, "and folks dressed up like Eskimos"

Noel let go of Mischa's hands and Mischa barely noticed, he was staring so intensely at the sheet music in front of him.

"Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe," When Noel sang the word mistletoe, he paused to kiss Mischa's cheek,

"Help to make the season bright." Mischa's hand slipped and he accidentally played the wrong note. "Fuck..." He cursed under his breath. His hands were trembling and when Noel looked closer, he noticed Mischa's eyes watering. "Don't cry my darling, I'm not mad you messed up if that's what you're worried about." Noel reassured, kissing the top of Mischa's head. Mischa shook his head and rubbed his eyes on the back of his arm. "Is not you, my divine poet." Mischa mumbled. Noel thought maybe this was part of why Mischa was avoiding his house.

"Are your parents being worse to you now that it's the holidays?" Noel asked and that's when Mischa broke down. He hugged Noel so tight, face pressed into his lovers shoulder, sobbing. And Noel rubbed his back and reached his free hand up to wipe the tears from Mischa's pink cheeks.

"They say money is tight." Mischa explains, once he's calmed down a bit, "They said they want to have money to buy presents for the people they love and that spending money on a son they did not wish for was useless. So the meals got smaller and when I asked for a blanket they decided to lock me out of my room for whole week because I was 'ungrateful'" Mischa looked at Noel, who was frowning, Mischa cupped his cheek and pressed their foreheads together. "Do not be sad, love. You did not cause problems."

"I know I didn't make your parents shitheads but it still upsets me" Noel responded. "The holidays are stressful enough with all the socializing involved, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you." He added. Mischa just looked at the floor for a few seconds. "Do you think I can stay with you through holidays?" Mischa asked, to which Noel pursed his lips and nodded. "Can we go to my house first so I can get some clothes and maybe grab my backup binder just in case?" Was Mischa's next question. "We can do anything you want, love." Noel whispered.

"Remember Ocean wants us to do something with her for Hanukah so if you can find your mothers latke recipe you always talk about you should bring it!" Noel said cheerfully as Mischa broke the sliding glass door of his basement residence with a rock in order to get in. And if his parents decided not to fix the door, Mischa could make multiple cases for child endangerment from them.

Mischa and Noel went home to Noel's house, which was the only home Mischa would know in Uranium, and the two spent their night cuddled in Noels bed watching Elf. This was Mischas fist normal holiday season. He was so in love.

[thirteenemeraldcats]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the terrifyingly talented @kvetchinglyneurotic and the impossibly incredible @sighonaraa

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

One! Uno! Eins! All of the ridiculously emotionally evocative writers in the Ted Lasso fandom completely broke my brain and launched me into the undiscovered country (fic writing).

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Since January, so about .3 years 🤗

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read. I am perpetually mentally exhausted in my free time and usually can't concentrate enough to write. That being said I also haven't had much time to READ fic lately. So. Help???

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Hmmmm. I'd say embracing the draft process? When I started writing fic (OH SO LONG AGO I KNOW) I was very 'this needs to be good' and now I'm appreciating the 'this needs to be FUNCTIONAL' mindset more.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Definitely not weird BUT I did accidentally fall down a research spiral for ONE WORD in 'i learned to walk while he was away'. For context: I am not Jewish, but I head-canon Roy as Jewish and there is ONE LINE that references this in that fic. I wanted to double check if there was any significance to the different spellings of Hanukkah, lest I accidentally step on a cultural landmine. Cut to a day later where I'd fallen deep, deep down an equally enjoyable and educational rabbit hole about Jewish holidays, (fostered my ongoing vendetta against the English language,) and found a Jewish bakery that's local to me because I wanted to try Challah very badly. (It was great.) (There is not a large Jewish population where I live [in case that wasn't obvious] I'm blaming my now-semi-remedied culture blindness on that. But Em, you took an elective on world religion in University? SHUT UP I KNOW.)

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ANY COMMENT. I made an ao3 account last year because I wanted to not lurk quite so much, stop being a 'consumer' of fan-creations, and LEAVE SOME COMMENTS. And I'd seen authors talk about how great getting them was but holy guacamole nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of people liking something I wrote enough to leave a comment or a heart or an 'ah'.

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Errrrrrrr. I guess just gen-fic? Looking at the numbers of ship-fic in the archive, it certainly feels fringe-esque to write gen.

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I was going to say 'short' because things just keep happening when I try to write succinct outlines (somehow NONE OF THOSE 'THINGS' ARE PLOT), but after applying a bit more scrutiny to anything I've ever written; it's action. Fast-paced action. I don't know her.

9. What is the easiest type?

Assorted emotional whacks! When I was writing original fiction a solid decade ago as a teen-bean I favoured physical-whump, me now has found it a lot easier to write emotional-whump. Not sure why??? But here we are. (Either way someone's suffering.)

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Okay this is actually a very involved story that I might tell later, but I just changed what platform I was using. SO! As of about a week ago I've been writing on google docs. Beyond that, it's a laptop/couch combo whenever I have the brain power (which is almost never 😭).

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

OOOF. There are a few wips in the assorted-mountainous-pile of non-active development that are. Heavy. Heavier than the various fics/wips I've published/am actively poking at. I'd like to write them one day but I am also very 'hmm' when I look at them.

12. What made you choose your username?

So 'Em' is a real-life nickname, smash that together with my love of the colour green and tada! You get 'emerald'. 'Cats' is about... cats. I am obsessed with the little creatures, despite never owning one. (Initially I spelt it as 'kat'- no idea why??? I think I just like the letter 'k'???? Potassium?????????? B A N A N A???????????????) And 'thirteen' is my favourite number, just because I find the concept of a number being considered 'unlucky' hysterical and the idea that some airlines genuinely leave out a row thirteen because of superstition always makes me grin like an idiot. The order is purely because I like the image of a bunch of green cats running around together.

I have done a quick investigation and everyone I know has either already done this or already been tagged. (I have once again shown up two days late with iced-coffee to a tag-game. [At least I showed up, I forgot to do like three of these things despite loving them, I'M SORRY 😭])

If anyone sees this and they HAVEN'T been tagged, consider this your green-for-go flag and feel free to tag me as your tagger.

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[singofsolace]

Fic Titles Meme

I was tagged by @bedeliainwonderland Thank you so much! This was a lot of fun to do.

1. How many titles are you happy with?

I’ve published 39 (!) fics on Ao3, and I’d say I’m unhappy with the titles of about 7 of those... which means I’m happy with 32! I think that’s a decent percentage.

2. How many are…not great?

A good number of my fics are song titles, which means that if someone doesn’t know the song in question, they might not understand how it relates to the fic. Even if they do know the song, sometimes I think I could do better when picking the proper lyrics to use. So... I’d say at least a handful of the song titles I used are... not great. 

3. How many did you scramble for at the last minute?

Almost all of them! I write the story before I pick a title, which means that I’ve usually finished filling out literally everything else on Ao3, and then I just sit and stare at the title box for a very long time. (Hence some of the “rushed” song titles).

4. How many did you know before you started writing/creating, or near the beginning?

Only three of my fics had titles before I started writing them: Sir, Spare Your Threats, boil and bubble, and to bed, to bed, to bed! The reason Sir, Spare Your Threats came so easily to me is because that is my favorite Hermione monologue, and the fanfic is meant to loosely follow the plot and characters of Shakespeare’s A Winter’s Tale, which I believe is one of the best plays ever written. (Hamlet... new phone, who dis?)

boil and bubble and to bed, to bed, to bed!, are also borrowed from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, which I usually refer to as the Scottish Play. Clearly, I’m only certain of my titles when Shakespeare is involved. 

5. How many are quotes from songs or poems?

A whopping 17 of my fanfic titles are from songs or poems! I don’t know if I should be embarrassed by that or not. The poem titles are a lot more subtle, I think, than the lyrics... but some of the lyrics are just so fitting, I can’t be mad at myself for them.

6. How many are other quotes?

Technically a great miracle happened there comes from the four sides of a dreidel. While I am not Jewish, my neighbors growing up were, and we went to their house every morning because their mother was supposed to “watch’ me and my siblings until the school bus came (I put “watch” in quotes because we were largely unsupervised. it’s a miracle we ever made it on the bus). Anyway, whenever Hanukkah came around, we would play dreidel for hours and hours. I was notoriously bad at it. So. I guess that counts as a “quote?”

7. Which best reflects the plot of the story/content of the fanwork?

This is a really hard question! I feel like a lot of these questions are meant for people who have less than 10-15 fics published. With almost 40, it’s really hard to narrow this down. I think should’ve worshipped her sooner was a great choice for my Five Times + One Zelda fic. 

8. Which best reflects the theme of the story?

before that, and colder comes from a Margaret Atwood poem: “Marriage is not / a house or even a tent // it is before that, and colder:" This fic explores the ramifications of the Caligari spell being cast on Zelda during her honeymoon, so I thought it was extremely fitting.

9. Which best reflects the character voice of the story/pov of the fanwork?

laissez les bons temps rouler ! This one got some flack for the title having extremely poor Parisian French grammar, but that is because this phrase is used almost exclusively in New Orleans in the context of Mardi Gras. Since Marie LaFleur canonically lived in New Orleans for long enough to consider herself part of the “Fourth Ward” (the French Quarter, I believe), I assumed that would mean that she’s participated in many Mardi Gras celebrations, and would’ve said this phrase at least once. It translates to: “let the good times roll.” (word for word from French to English... hence the poor grammar, since French generally has a different sentence structure.)

10. Which is your favorite title?

just to sit outside your door. I’m soft for some Hozier, what can I say? The full phrase is: “I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.”

I tag @saturn-silk @bainelland @anneofgreengaybles @jyou-no-sonoko19 @alexusonfire @its-a-goode-day @hb-spellman @allaboutthatgillybox @paradox-n-bedrock @asterleaf

[pamphletstoinspire]

Catholic Physics - Reflections of a Catholic Scientist - Part 84

Christ, Be Our Light!: Reflections on Christmas, Chanukkah, and Strange Physics

Story with images:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/catholic-physics-reflections-scientist-part-84-harold-baines/?published=t

William Hunt (1827-1910) - The Light of the World (Caption for linked image)

"This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all." First Letter of John 1:5 (KJV)

"Christ, be our light! Shine in our hearts. Shine through the darkness. Christ, be our light!Shine in your church gathered today." Refrain, Christ Be Our Light, Bernadette Farrell

And they made new holy vessels, and brought in the candlestick, and the altar of incense, and the table into the temple.  And they put incense upon the altar, and lighted up the lamps that were upon the candlestick, and they gave light in the temple." 1 Maccabees 4:48-50 (KJV)

"All these fifty years of conscious brooding have brought me no nearer to the answer to the question, 'What are light quanta?' Nowadays every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks he knows it, but he is mistaken." Albert Einstein, in 'The Born-Einstein Letters', by Max Born

ADDENDUM (added 7th January, 2017, Epiphany)

Oh, star of wonder, star of might

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading

Still proceeding

Guide us to the perfect light

Refrain, "We Three Kings"

INTRODUCTION

Some 80 years ago (more or less) when I was a child, I would pester my Jewish parents (secular, non-religious) for a Christmas Tree.  All around me would be the lights of Christmas -- on houses, lawns, and downtown (there was a downtown in those days) in the glorious department store window displays -- and I didn't understand why we couldn't take part in all that. I listened to explanations that we weren't Christians, we had our own holiday, Chanukkah; but the eight lights of the Menorah didn't hold a candle (so to speak) to those on any modest Christmas tree, and even though there were eight days of gifts, they were all small potatoes compared to those my Christian friends received on the one day of Christmas.

It took almost 10 years after my conversion to the faith to realize the full import of Christmas, and even that of Chanukkah, the Festival of Lights. During the first few years after my conversion I still did not feel totally comfortable during the Christmas holidays -- more like the hungry tramp peering into the restaurant window, an outsider. It took a little while for me to go beyond the gift-giving and realize the miracle of the Incarnation.  And so my prayer before the third decade of the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary was and is that Christmas be celebrated as the Incarnation, the birthday of Jesus.

I'd like to share my thoughts about these things - informed by my faith as a Catholic, my heritage as a Jew, and my vocation as a physicist.  They won't be given in the order of importance - saving the best for last.

ABOUT CHANUKKAH (HANUKKAH)*

Here's a brief account of the story behind the verse from First Maccabees quoted above. (For more details, see here.)  The Maccabees had revolted against the Syrian ruler, Antiochus, who had tried to instill Greek values and religion on the Jews. And as the Talmud recounts the tale, in their recapture of the Temple and its re-dedication to the one true God, they found there was oil for the lamps that would only last one day, they filled the lamps and lo and behold, the oil lasted eight days -- a miracle!  

President George H.W. Bush celebrating Channukah - from Wikimedia Commons (Caption for linked image)

The holiday is not one of the major Jewish holidays.  In my opinion, it has become more important in recent times as a counterweight to Christmas.  

Eight candles are lit in the Chanukkah menorah (one for each day the Temple lamps burnt).  And children receive a present each day, including "Chanukah gelt" (money).  Latkes (potato pancakes) are also a tradition** --

It is a joyous time, celebrating freedom to worship. and the songs are among the best in the Jewish and Yiddish folk tradition.  One of my favorites is that by the Klezmatic Conservatory Band, Oy Chanukkah; and here are the lyrics. Note in the last verse, the element of light:  

"Oh, Hanukkah, Oh, Hanukkah,

Come light the menorah

Let's have a party.

We'll all dance the hora

To remind us of days long ago

One for each night, they shed a sweet light,

To remind us of days long ago."

I will concede that there is no great theological significance here.

STRANGE PHYSICS***

There was a young lady named Bright,

Whose speed was far faster than light.

She set out one day

In a relative way,

And returned on the preceding night.

-- Edward Lear? A.H. Buller?

Classical physics treated light as an electromagnetic wave, a linked oscillation of electric and magnetic fields. In the early 20th century Einstein's explanation of the photo-electric effect gave light a second personality, that of a particle. This light particle, a photon, has no mass and travels at the speed of light (which is unremarkable, given that it is light).

Time-dilation enters here: special relativity says that time goes more slowly (stretches out, so-to-speak) as the speed of objects approach the speed of light. This is the basis of the so-called twin paradox: time will go more slowly for a twin traveling close to the speed of light than for his twin on stationary earth, so that when he return from his voyage, the paradox will have it that he has aged less than his twin, as illustrated below: (Caption for linked image)

French translation: In the reference frame ("point of view") for the stationary (earth-bound) twin; Time goes more slowly in the spaceship than on earth; You are younger than I! - From Wikimedia Commons

Now there are objections to this simple minded picture. For example, suppose one regards the spaceship as stationary and the earth as moving away and returning -- then the twin on earth would be younger when reunion occurs (see here for the analogous illustration.) There are number of other effects that complicate the analysis -- time dilation on acceleration and de-acceleration (see here for a detailed account.) Time dilation is a real effect, manifested in longer decay times of energetic cosmic ray particles, in the very slight slowing down of atomic clocks in orbiting satellites (that has to be taken into account in GPS tracking).

From all the above the first thought might be that time does not pass for a photon. However, we can't say that time can be measured for a photon in a reference frame moving at the speed of light. Why? A fundamental assumption of special relativity is that measurements are ultimately made by the agency of light signals: light is the measuring agent and light can't measure itself. So it's more appropriate to think that a photon does not, in its own frame of reference, experience time. If a photon could be aware, its moment of creation (by emission of light -- say an electron falling from a high energy level to a lower) to its annihilation (by absorption of light -- say, an electron jumping from a low energy level to a higher) would be simultaneous.

Are there any theological implications in no-time for photons, for light? Well, here's an off-the-wall thought: we say that there is no time for God,

"But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." -- 2 Peter 3:8

So the idea that God is light implies also that all times co-exist for God.

THE THEOLOGY OF LIGHT?

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." Gen 1:3 (KJV)

"Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Psalm 119 Nun (KJV)

"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." John 8:12 (KJV)

"The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when [thine eye] is evil, thy body also [is] full of darkness." Luke 11:34 (KJV)

And there are many more.

Now let's turn to John 1:1

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (KJV)

The Greek word in the New Testament that was translated as "Word" is "λόγος" ("logos"). In addition to the meaning "word", other general meanings are "principle", "reason", "logic." Let's think about the relation between "light" and "logos". What do we mean when we say "I see the light!"? We see the reason, the truth, the rationale, the principle in what is said. So light, reason, the Word are connected. And when John wrote "in the beginning was the Word" and in Genesis we read "And God said 'let there be light' " we have an equivalence.

Your comments and criticisms are invited. (By the way, Ahura Mazda, the God, was embodied in light in Zoroastrianism -- so I hope in this reflection I haven't made a heretical comparison to that early religion.)

NOTES

*The two different spellings reflect the guttural Ch sound for Chanukkah in Yiddish, and the Anglicized H sound.

**This year the night before Chanukkah, my wife, a cradle Catholic and more versed in Jewish tradition and cooking than was my mother, made latkes that would be a prize winner on Chopped.

***For a more complete explanation of the dual nature of light, and the historical development of this physics that gave this picture, see The Quantum Catholic.

From a series of articles written by: Bob Kurland - a Catholic Scientist

[fashiontrendin-blog]

We Tried the Reverse Holiday Diet

http://fashion-trendin.com/we-tried-the-reverse-holiday-diet/

We Tried the Reverse Holiday Diet

This piece was originally published in December 2015. Can you even freaking believe it? An oldie but a goodie, we wanted to share our joint holiday extravaganza. Honestly, it’s all for you, Seth Cohen.

Amelia is Jewish only when it is convenient. That is, if you call her on Yom Kippur, you can rest assured she is eating a sandwich and reminding you about her baptism. When Purim rolls around, though? She’s the queen of costumes and alcoholic beverage consumption. Eating at a restaurant and the special is tender pork belly? She’s on it! And then as though it never happened, there she is, smearing white fish over her bagel, gossiping about the girls from Bridge club.

But I’ve had it, you know? She’s never even attempted atonement. So this year, at the intersection of our faiths: she put on her Hanukkah hat, I test drove (without a license!) right down St. Nick’s lane. There was only rule, which was that Amelia would write a diet for me and I would write one for her.

Here is what she put together, annotated with my reactions.

1) You’re going to need some sort of tree, or a wreath, or at the very least something to decorate.

I cannot commit to bringing Christ into my home, but I will happily pose with a tree on 1st Street, which is close enough.

Leandra: 1, Christmas: 1, Amelia: dead.

2) You will exclusively play Christmas music, and it has to be playing non-stop.

This was absolutely no problem whatsoever — I listen to the Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald holiday stations on Pandora almost exclusively, which I mentioned in a post that went live on December 11th. Two for me, Glen Coco. But I hate peppermint.

3) Throw/Attend at least one ugly sweater themed party.

Does claiming ownership over a photo of Beyoncé in the ugliest sweater party sweater count as having completed this task?

4) Drink eggnog

No.

5) Watch: Love Actually, It’s a Wonderful Life, Elf, Home Alone (or please refer to this list)

I watched Home Alone at least six times. Catherine O’Hara has one of the craziest faces I have ever seen on television. It is so underrated that she asks a flight attendant at the airport in Paris if they could help her charter a private plane home to Kevin for Christmas. Also, here’s a fun fact: John Candy improvised that entire scene where he talks about leaving his kid at a funeral home in the polka polka van when they’re getting O’Hara home to Kev. As you can see, I murdered this movie dance floor.

6) Send at least a few Christmas cards.

I did you one better and sent Christmas gifts. Each came with a card, and every single one said the same thing:

Dear Recipient,

Merry Christmas!

Your Jewish friend with a soul made of gelt,

Leandra

And then I attached a phone number for the orthodox Jewish conversion hotline!

7) Bake festive cookies and bring to office

I defer to you, Amelia, to tell the community about the vegan, gluten free cookies that I made for the office. Leave all tales of chipped teeth out — thx.

8) Order/drink a holiday special at Starbucks. Here’s the 2015 lineup:

Caramel Brulée Latte. Chestnut Praline Latte. Christmas Cookie Latte. Eggnog Latte. Gingerbread Latte. Honey And Almond Hot Chocolate. Peppermint Mocha. Toffee Nut Latte.

Leandra and Christmas: 2, Leandra’s waist line: 4777387219.

9) COUNT DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

No. Why would I count down the days until the end of my favorite Pandora stations? You are a masochist and I won’t engage with your antics.

10) Dress festive (red/green/sparkly).

I defer to this.

And this.

And this!

And here’s an outfit I wore last Sunday night.

Johanna Ortiz polka dot top and pants

And now, for Amelia’s diet.

So I grew up half-Jewish.

The entire world seemed to buy this or at least let me live until I met Leandra Medine about six years ago and she told me this made no sense. Technically, I understood her reasoning. Theoretically, however, I understood mine more. Dad: Jewish. Mom: Catholic. Me: Guilty.

But whatever, it meant I did a little bit of it all: a first communion here, a cousin’s bar mitzvah there, Easter, Passover, Christmas and Hanukkah. I’ve got about 10% of the prayers on both sides memorized and mumble along with the rest, just like how I sing along to the 2nd verse of Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy is Mine.”

When this holiday season rolled around and Leandra and I decided to swap customs, I secretly assumed I’d win. Channukah was only 8 days long — Christmas starts the second Thanksgiving ends so technically, she was already behind.

But that right there was first mistake. Not assuming I’d win, of course, but in spelling Hanukkah. Chanukah. Ḥanukah. חנוכה. I mean how the fuck do you spell this word if Google gives you 8234567 versions?! Watch me explore the variety in my diet below.

Next came Leandra’s insane assignment list that was designed to raise my cholesterol, get me arrested for cocaine consumption and make me broke.

Behold — her instructions, copied & pasted verbatim, in bold, followed by my results and notes:

1) You must consume at least one powdered jelly donut every single day. You must also make sure that powdered residue remains above your top lip for at least 20 minutes post consumption.

Finding traditional powdered “sufganiyah” with strong-enough Yelp reviews in New York City proved more difficult than one might imagine, especially considering that I am lazy and hate walking into stores.

I ended up spending 20 excruciating minutes on the phone with Doughnut Plant to confirm that their Hanukah doughnuts were legit and another 20 excruciating dollars to have them delivered.

They sent me the wrong ones (these were covered in peanuts as opposed to powder) so unfortunately, no Pablo Escobar ‘stache. They were, however, filled with blackberry jelly. I ate both of course and consider this a win.

Also of note: Leandra baked cookies, and they were actually good. Since she’s Jewish, I now consider these Jewish cookies and give myself an extra credit point.

2) Light the Menorah every night starting tonight and recite the prayers. 

Arguably the most important part of this holiday, I only lit the candle once.

And on the 2nd day. However, my excuse is that upon calling my (Jewish) grandmother to wish her a Happy Hanukah, she told me that lighting candles was very dangerous and not to do it ever again.

2a) You should also tell everyone Kendallabra is trying to steal Hannukah’s thunder.

No, Leandra.

3) Give up meditation for a week and instead play dreidl (basically the same thing)

I don’t meditate (can you tell?!?!?!?!? EIieoSIHG OSHOUh!! ! ! ! !) so this was easy to give up. Meanwhile, dreidel — the 10th word in this “diet” with 100 different variations on its spelling — became my new favorite way to make noise in the office.

4) Eat potato pancakes for breakfast, tell people they’re latkes and that eating them sure beats doing homework.

Another culinary fail. The restaurant “ran out.” I was mad but I’m also half-Irish so I know the struggle of a potato famine well.

5) Buy me a gift every night for all eight nights

It’s the thought that counts?

6) Whenever asked how you’re doing this week, you must answer, “Wonderful! I am celebrating the miracle of light!” — and then go into the extensive Biblical narrative wherein the Maccabees light a menorah in the holy temple and the light lasts for eight days. Then interrupt yourself and say that this is just one of the stories we tell ourselves in order to live.

I opted out and wore a menorah hat instead.

6a) Remind people that though Joan Didion is not Jewish, her birthday does overlap with Hanukah this year.

Mostly I just reminded people how Thanksgiving coincided with Hanukah last year and repeatedly brought up Seth Cohen’s creation of Chrismukkah.

7) Learn to say “suvganiyot,” which means jelly donuts in hebrew.

Easy like the Internet.

8) Memorize the lyrics to this song, become a pubescent boy with the vocal talent of an angel on acid.

I remain a post-pubescent woman. However, I also much prefer the Maccabeats:

9) Stop spending US dollars, force vendors to take “gelt” (it’s gold coin chocolate)

Uber loved this!!!

10) Commit an orthodox conversion

Awkward…Christmas is coming soon, so no can do.

But you didn’t think I’d let myself lose, right?

Just like the Maccabees said — it’s a miracle.

Feature illustration by via The Miami Herald/MCT via Getty Images; collages by Krista Anna Lewis and Emily Zirimis.