#I am not excusing anything.. but crew on children’s shows get weird about their kid characters and it just. Is like that sometimes.

[candydos]

Yesterday was a uh. A dark day for the Amphibia fandom, huh? I saw what happened and I was so disgusted/distressed that I had to talk to a friend to calm me down. I'm still reeling, and still disgusted and angry. It wasn't just one, it was TWO people who were storyboarders for Amphibia making That Stuff. I don't even know if I can like the show anymore?? Why can't we have cartoons/shows that don't have gross stuff happening behind closed doors?? HHHH... (Sorry for rambling btw) - IDFS Anon

yeah I didn’t really want to comment on the whole situation because it was a lot… sigh, I’m just shocked still.

just to clarify: KJ and Sook are not on the crew in any way; only Alex is on the crew. if we are also bringing back the older hannah ayoubi and pegushi/bokoboko situations, then yes, these two were also crew.

a sad lesson learned for frog fans: never meet your heroes. placing alex on a pedestal after people started coming for the crew was always gonna end up badly.

[falloutjay]

Stan x anxious/compassionate reader (kind of has a little canon divergence)

After giving up on Wendy (around Season 12), Stan and us start dating, we were always worried about him (no we weren't dating him out of pity, we were just a very anxious person). Some people find of clingy, others find us adorable but We've never left his side:

Ex: We were by his side helping with whales (Whale W)

We were the only one who didn't leave him when he got depression (You're Getting Old/Ass Burgers)

Next to Heidi, we became social pariah because we didn't want to dump Stan (this even made Wendy guilty)

But him moving, really gets to us, the coronavirus makes it worse. We get worried about him, then we start getting worried about everyone else as everything falls apart (Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Butters, Tweek, Craig, Scott, etc.) And we pass out of stress. About waking up in the hospital, we find out, everyone was worried about us. And Stan is the most worried of all, he spends the whole day with us. We tal-no vent about all the happened to the both of us. By the end of it, we agree that whatever happens we'll do it together.

Guess whos back! :D

Well, while it's not my best work, in my humble opinion, I sure hope you enjoy and like it. Again sorry for the delay! ಥ_ಥ

And if it's not that clear, because I know I can write a little cryptic, there is a time skip. You can either have all the show events happen when they are children and have the time skip between Covid and the memories or between you getting together as kids and the memories. Choose however you like! ^^

_________________________________________

Stan x anxious!compassionate!Reader

Tiny eyes watched the scene unfold.

Normally, Wendy was the one to break up with Stan, but not this time around. Stan was actually telling Wendy that he had no interest in her anymore.

“What changed Stan?” Wendy asked, obviously confused.

“I think I like someone else… I don’t know yet…”

Wendy gave him a smile.

“I wish you all the luck Stan, say if you need anything!”

“I will.” And with that, Wendy took off to be with her friends, while Stan turned a corner and told Kyle and Kenny how it went.

Cartman was there too, but he only wanted to know if she cried, because “she would deserve it.”.

You closed your locker and felt your heartbeat like crazy. Ever since you changed school a few months ago, Stan captured your little ten-year-old mind.

He was kind and showed you around when you had no idea where to go. It was a little crush you developed, and you never felt as scared and excited as now, since that Stan had broken off with Wendy.

This newfound feeling almost made you dizzy but you quickly snapped back into reality when you heard your name.

“Y/N?” Stan asked and waited patiently for his answer next to you.

“Oh, sorry, I was thinking, what did you want?”

“Would you maybe like to hang out some time?”

Stan almost got a heart attack when you suddenly squealed but was happy when you managed to get a high-pitched “YES!” out.

“Okay, what are you betting Kenny? Some Pennies or a dead rat?” Cartman almost fell from his chair laughing about his shitty joke, while Kyle and Kenny rolled their eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s weird how clingy they are?” Kyle asked his blonde friend, while they kept watching you and Stan, who were seated at a separate table at lunch.

“Honestly, I think it’s pretty cute.” Kenny said with his muffled voice.

You held his arm and hugged him from the side, while he happy kept on eating his lunch.

Eric, who had now calmed down from his laugh attack eyed the couple critically. “I’m giving them a month max.”

He said lazily and looked around. “I say longer than a year.” Kenny said, throwing a crinkled five-dollar note on the table.

“You two are horrible.” Kyle shook his head before he threw 10 dollars on the table.

“Four months.”

Kenny was a happy man after a year, because despite everyone believing you two would eventually break up, you never did.

You were always by his side, no matter what.

His desire to desperately save whales with the help of a braindead ship crew?

You were always right by his in the interviews he gave.

His horrible depression that even drove Kyle away? No chance, you stood strong and helped him through the whole thing and even help reuniting the gang.

Even during the protest against Skanthunt42, you chose to sit this one out, despite you absolutely hating that the troll photoshopped a dick into your mother’s mouth.

At least you and Heidi got close due to you guys both becoming social outcasts. When Wendy heard this, she was impressed by your dedication and felt somewhat guilty for obviously not trying as much in her former relationship.

Everyone admired your patience and endurance. No matter what obstacle came, you managed to get through it.

“You don’t need to be sad, Y/N. I won't be that far away.” Stan said, holding your hand.

“B-But it's outside of town. You need ages by bike to get there and vice versa.” You said, holding back tears.

Randy walked past you and you desperately pleaded to him.

“Please Mister Marsh, please stay in town!” Randy put the box he carried into the car, before turning to you.

“Real sorry, dear Y/N. This town is…How do I put it… Absolute shit and I really want to get away.”

He patted you on the head and went back into the house to get more boxes.

“Told you, you cant talk to him.” Stan said and shrugged.

“But it’s unfair. We won’t see each other as much anymore.” Stan pressed a kiss onto your cheek, which made you blush intensely.

“Don’t. Worry. I will make time for you.”

With that in mind, you didn’t feel as sad, when the car with the Marsh Family in it left for their new home.

“I will make time for you, my ass.” You mumbled while you sat at a bench near Starks Pond. Letting out a deep sigh, you leaned back and just enjoyed the warmth of the setting sun.

Covid was one hell of a bitch and just had to have this big impact on everyone’s life. Stan and you now saw each other less and less.

It was just a horrible feeling that tainted your heart and made you worry a lot.

Maybe he was feeling just as bad as you are, maybe even more?

Maybe he just didn’t want to tell you how he felt?

Were you maybe a bad partner? Your mind began racing and your train of thoughts became unrailed.

So many bad thoughts manifested themselves and it made you almost gasp for air.

“I need to check on him.” You mumbled getting up from the park bench.

You began walking and you kind of hoped that maybe just the walking would get your mind in check, but sadly it didn’t. Involuntarily you had to think about all the other stuff that happened during this horrible time.

The precious Broship was more fragile than ever. You had become such good friends with Kenny, Kyle and Cartman over time that it hurt you a lot too.

You also saw Covid take a toll on your other friends, like Craig and his group, who now took Cartman into their gang after the split up.

However, that came to be…

The girls were also pretty divided, so hanging out with them meant picking sides which wasn’t your thing, you kinda just want them to get along again.

Everything felt like it was falling apart. Your parents had fights ever so often, all your friends had problems and your beloved boyfriend was stuck on that stupid farm.

God how you hated that stupid farm and Randy.

When he gave you one of those plushies that looked like him, you functioned it into a voodoo doll. But sadly, it didn’t seem to affect him, no matter how many needles you rammed into it.

Your heart felt heavy, and it seemed hard to breathe, but you brushed it aside.

You had already reached the busy streets of South Park and mingled between the newly vaccinated people.

Everywhere you looked, the people seemed happy.

Everyone was happy except you and the people around you… Maybe…You were the problem?

You shook your head. No, you didn’t allow those kinds of thoughts.

You much rather think about Stan. How you miss him and how amazing your dates were.

Oh, how much effort he put into all the small things… Well… At least he did.

Now that you thought about it when was your last date?

It feels like it had been ages. It has been ages. Everything had been ages. Going out with him, hanging out with your friends, your family not fighting… How long has this been the new normal? You can’t help but wonder.

Your heart clenched again. “Stop it, stupid heart.” You mumbled under your breath.

An exhausted sigh escaped your lips when you thought about how you maybe had to walk all the way up to the farm… It would take ages, but you really craved being held by the person you adored so much.

So, you continued walking down through the street when an elder lady stopped you.

“Excuse me, but you look rather sickly, are you alright?” Confused you raised an eyebrow. Did the vaccines make them delusional?

“No, I’m fine.” You answered, somewhat snippy, even when you didn’t know why you were so agitated.

“But you look rather pale, maybe you- I am fine.” You interrupted her and continued your path.

Were all people in this shitty town stupid or- The thought could not be completed, due to you suddenly losing consciousness.

When you woke up again, you immediately recognized one of the Hells Pass Hospital rooms, once your eyes had adjusted to the bright lights. Around the bed were your parents and more importantly Stan and his mother.

“Thank God, you’re awake again!” Your mother said when she went for a hug.

Confused you asked why you were here.

“Well, seemingly you were so stressed out, that your body basically shut down.”

Somewhat shocked you looked around. Was it really a surprise to hear that? Not really, but it still felt odd knowing that it happened.

“Well, I’m glad you’re fine, Y/N.” Misses Marsh commented and smiled warmly at you. She had always liked you and you felt the same. She was always nice to you and you felt like she was the only one with a brain in the family…

Feeling a sudden sensation of warmness on your hand, your eyes darted down to it. Stan held you hand while answering something your dad had asked him.

“Well, Sharon, you wanna accompany us to get some hot chocolate for us all?”

Your mother said with an odd wink, which made you and Stan roll your eyes.

The three adults left the room chatting happily. Stan looked at you with a stern expression, which kind of surprised you.

“I swear, whenever I think I couldn’t get more worried about you, your parents call me, to tell me that you’re in the hospital.”

“Worried? About me? I should be worried about you?” You laughed to which Stan shook his head.

“Listen, everyone has been super worried about you since you seemed so down and just exhausted. Like, Kyle already called me earlier to ask if you’re awake again. I don’t know why you worry about me; I am really fine babe. Promise.”

With that said, the door opened, and your parents came back inside.

“Y/N, the doctor said they would like you to stay the night, so they can check that you’re really alright.” Your father informed you and you were immediately annoyed.

Well, you had no choice but to oblige. Your parents left after an hour, wanting to get you some clothes and other things you’d need.

Sharon also bids her goodbye and so you and Stan were left.

And just like you wished, you got to cuddle with him. He held you close, and you vented to him, how worried you were about everything and everyone, while he told you just how worried all of your friends had been since you were acting so out of character.

“Even Cartman?”

“Yup, even when he would never admit it.” Stan laughed. He held your hand tight, and his content smile never left his face.

“I think we should talk more about feelings and being worried and all that. I know I’m not all that good at it, but I don’t ever wanna have to visit you in a hospital again.” Stan said, giving your hand a squeeze.

“That sounds good. But you gotta accept, I worry a lot, because I care a lot about you, okay?” You said sternly and Stan nodded. You two looked fondly at each other and just enjoyed the time you got.

“Together forever?” You asked and he whispered “Forever.”, before he pressed a sweet kiss onto your lips.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

i wish nick would stop milking spongebob just leave it as the show and movies that’s it, i’m worried all this would come crashing down with all these new shows whether it be burnout with the cast and crew, creative differences, or failure of the projects, i just want spongebob to end soon and have proper good ending, nick should have more faith in their other cartoons other than spongebob and maybe the loud house, just actually green light actual good cartoon ideas, not annoying flashy shows

I have a feeling the show will come crashing down pretty soon. At this rate they're churning out much more then what the show can produce.

Tbh I enjoy the current seasons. They're fun. The show is still the juggernaut of the network. There isn't a need for mini series and extras. I know camp coral is a mini series so it really wouldn't last long but patrick the show or squidward the show? It's a lot of work. Its exhausting work.

You know what's funny is what made nick rise to the top in the 90s was the fact that they green lit a lot of shows, allowed for experimentation. They let their artists have the power and in return got a lot of great shows out of it. And I'm not saying the 90s was perfect and everything trash. But it was one of their core philosophies that they seemed to disregard as soon as they got money. The artists no longer have the right to their intellectual property. Unionizing will easily get you fired. Its a disaster all around.

The 2000s actually had great shows. The problem was the network wasn't willing to give them a chance. If they didn't hit mega stardom in its early season then it got axed. I often am surprised a lot of the shows I liked as a kid got canceled pretty early for no reason. They were popular with the kids I know for sure. Everyone in school talked about those shows so it didn't make sense why they would cancel it but for them if it wasn't massively marketable then it wasn't worth the time.

They will cancel shows with good ratings all the time. No reasons even given to the creator such as shows like Harvey Beaks. Its tragic.

I don't really want to pin all the blame on Spongebob because the show really got screwed over by Nick too. Literally going against everything Stephen wanted and Nickelodeon would have really done this to any show if it had not been spongebob. Literally they were forcing to make Spongebob a hey Arnold duplicate at the time.

It's really shitty though. Nickelodeon really won't end shows easily. When they're done with a show they would just put it on their nick toons channel to die with no ending like the fairlyodd parents when that show could have ended long time ago with the multiple series finales the show has. You know as a kid I used to wonder why fairlyodd parents had so many grand specials and stuff. It was because Nickelodeon often threatened to axe the show so many times so the staff had to make these specials because they were expecting it to be the end only to have Nick resurrect it again.

I don't care for the trash man Butch Hartman but the show got ran into the ground, no ending. It was abandoned on their nick toons channel and faded into obscurity. People only remembering it for the horrible quality of the last few seasons and its an example of what spongebob could become if we allow Nickelodeon to continue this.

All the actors on spongebob are very old now. I remember looking through the art book last night and it had a picture of Tom Kenny when he was younger (not much younger but like during the show) he had brown curly hair. Its crazy because nowadays you can watch him on instagram recreating moments from spongebob episodes and he looks completely different now. Short grey hair and a beard. He looks completely different now. So does many of the voice actors.

They've been doing this since before I was born and now I'm in an adult. Its crazy to imagine. They must be tired. We already had the voice actors for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy pass away. The show makes up excuses whenever mermaid man and Barnacle boy get brought up and why they're unavailable but we all know the truth of what happened to them.

I'm worried the main cast voice actors will die soon. I don't want that and hope that never happens but the creator of the show itself isn't even alive. The current movie is dedicated in his honor "in loving memory of Stephen Hillenburg" at the end of the movie. It felt so sad.

It's nice his creation lived on to fill people's lives with comfort and happiness. Long after he passed away but it's crazy how badly his own brain child got disrespected and will continue to be disrespected.

I don't really want the show to end soon because I'm attached but also it has to. Its better for it to have a dignified ending then a miserable ending like the fairlyodd parents.

I want it to end with a proper legacy and be treated with the proper respect it deserves but Nickelodeon doesn't seem to have respect for anything. There is no such thing as a just corporation. They don't care about long term quality. They care about what's the most eye catching and have momentary success. Flashy lights that will easily entertain children which is crazy.

I remember their idea in the past was that they cared about what kids actually want to see. Not to put down the intelligence of children, respecting them as individuals and their entertainment would reflect that. It's clear they don't stand by that anymore.

You could argue that I was getting older but they brought in these cheap flashy cartoons in the late 2000s where I was still a kid. I was still their demographic and I hated it. It was hard to watch. Them trying to join in on trends and stuff at the time felt like your parents trying to join in on what the cool kids do. It was weird and hard to watch. They really don't have to do that. They tried doing live action shows in hopes of seeming cool but most kids hated it or were not allowed to watch because it was deemed inappropriate for most kids to watch.

They feel like a mess. I can't even suggest what to so since they're such a disaster network and now tv is dying so they're trying out streaming networks thst are only available in the US thus alienating a large portion of their audience.

I don't see them getting better soon so I don't see the future of spongebob as a whole being bright. I guess all we can do is enjoy the current season episodes. They're funny at least.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 41

Chapter Summary -  The Gorilla suit segment has come and gone and Tom wants Danielle's opinion, which she gives. They also discuss the future more, and though it is early in their relationship, they set out what they want in a relationship, which thankfully, seems to suit the other.

Previous Chapter 

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom – I am not sure when you will get to see the interview, let me know what you think when you do. x

Tom pressed send and lay back on the bed, reading over the lines for his voice work he would continue in the morning. When his phone went off, he thought it was Luke, and answered. “Well, do you approve?”

There was a moment of laughing before a voice came on. “I loved it.”

He leant forward. “Elle?”

“Obviously, didn’t you check your caller ID?”

“Honestly, no. I thought you were Luke.”

“Well, sadly I am not; I am just me.”

“I happen to like ‘just’ you.” He smiled.

“I happen to like you too.” She smiled back.

“So the gorilla suit did not turn you off?”

“No, it was weird but fun.”

“Well, I have some bad news.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Elle?”

“What, what is it?” she sounded terrified.

“It’s gone.”

“The suit?”

“The longer hair and facial hair.”

“No!”

“I’m sorry, darling.”

“Why?”

“Because of work.”

“But it is stupid o’clock in the night there, how the hell did you get a barber.”

“It’s LA, darling, anything is available at any time, so long as you flash the cash.”

“I am not talking to you now.” Danielle declared.

“Elle…” Silence met his plea. “Darling…”

“Stop calling me that, you are in the dog house.” She stated petulantly.

“Elle…”

“Not interested.”

“When I get home, you won’t be able to ignore me.”

“That sounds kinky.” She seemed to forget her annoyance for a moment.

“It was not meant to be, but clearly you like it, so it’s a promise now.” he grinned. “I wish it didn’t have to be so long.”

“You are going checking on little children in a war-torn area of Africa, I am safe here at home, go get the world looking at them, help them, Tom, we can have fun when we come home, at least you get to leave again, they don’t.”

“You should come out as a healthcare working for a week, they could do with you and your big heart.”

“I am not a nurse or doctor, emergency care is far less of an issue in those camps, they need vaccines and food and shelter, not me,” She dismissed.

“How is Mum?”

“Your mom is great, there has been no more about the incident, she’s acting as she always did, but Emma…she’s a little pissed at the moment.”

“Why?”

“Because her friend is fucking her brother.”

“She doesn’t own you; I am not stealing you from her.”

“I know love, but it’s weird for her, she is just worried. I feel guilty, I had not thought of her, she will feel odd in this, even if we were to be happily married with a couple of kids, it is weird for her.” Danielle commented.

“Three.”

“What?”

“I want three kids.”

“I thought you said you hated being in that situation, with two sisters.”

“And Emma hated being six years younger, that’s true.” Tom conceded

“So two then, close together?”

“Or four,” Tom argued, the grin on his face obvious through the phone, “it’s all about problem-solving, Darling.”

“For the record, I am not interested in having more kids than I have hands to hold onto them.”

“You’re an only child, you don’t understand the need for siblings, and don’t twins run in your family?”

“Don’t even joke about that; and I was happy as an only child, everyone I knew with siblings seemed to be fit to kill them as often as they were happy.” She commented. “Are we really having ‘that conversation’ already, from across the world?”

“I think we are.” Tom grinned. “So, what else would you like, given the chance?”

“If it was with you?”

“Assume all of this is us thinking aloud about where we want this to go, what we want from this aspect of our lives.”

“I know you can’t leave London, you need to be close to there at least.” She sounded slightly unhappy about that.

“You rather not live in the city?”

“I am a country mouse.”

“Leafy suburb then; with parks for Mac and good schools, good compromise?”

“Yes, and not too far from Ben and Sophie.”

“North London it is so.”

“That’s more expensive, though.”

“The best places usually are.”

“And my place?”

“Well, that is up to you. It would be great to have a place so close to mums, but if we did both live in London when we would visit, she would be adamant we stay with her.”

“This is all very mature and long-term talk for this hour.”

“It’s only midnight here?”

“And eight in the morning here.”

“Are you getting anxious and changing the topic?”

“No…”

“Elle?”

“I want my furniture.” She answered childishly.

“I would never argue that.” He smiled, knowing she was just slightly scared. “When the time is right, would you want to move in with me?”

“I think so.”

“‘Think’?”

“I never lived with a guy before.”

“What?”

“Bar my dad, I never lived with a guy.”

“Why?”

“Just the way it was because my parents lived a bus journey from college, I stayed with them for that.”

“That’s, wow, seriously? You seem alright with me being there.”

“I have had a boyfriend before, thank you, staying overnight isn’t hard.”

“So your first time living away from home was in Suffolk, in your own house.” She hummed in confirmation. “That must have been hard, you never said anything.”

“I did, several times, to your mum and Emma anyway; but you, I don’t recall it coming up with us.”

“I wish I spent more time around you before now.”

“Well, there’s no need to worry about it, it’s the past.” Danielle dismissed. “So, when are the Grammy nominations out?”

“Soon enough.”

“Do you think you have a chance?” She asked excitedly.

“As much as I know this is a diversion tactic, I am going to allow it. I know The Night Manager as a whole has a good chance.”

“And you?”

“I am not sure.”

“I loved it.”

“It had my ass on display; you have made it clear you love anything as long as my ass is involved.”

“It is a most delectable derriere.” Danielle agreed.

“I hope I get it.”

“It is a good possibility.”

“Not a shoo-in?” Tom inquired.

“You can never say for definite, someone could pay off a judge.” She commented.

“And if no one does?”

“If no one pays off a judge, and if you are nominated, I would place a bet on you.”

“You’re not much of a gambler.”

“Not usually, but 2016 was a good year for you love.”

“Really?” Tom asked sceptically.

“I refuse to acknowledge any of that stuff as negative anymore.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head, raise the rent and kick them out.”

Tom chuckled, “Where did you find that?”

“Random quote on Facebook, but I am using it. You went out with Taylor, I assume you had some fun, you went to some nice places, it happened, it’s over, nothing more, nothing less. I don’t care, it was before us, now we have us, so in all, it looks like you had a good enough year.”

“Some parts were definitely better than others, but overall, yes, it was a good year.”

“So, The Night Manager is of 2016, and as such, will do well.” She smiled.

“Elle.”

“Yes, Tom.”

“I cannot wait to come home, and when I do, I cannot wait to show you how much I love and miss you.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Are you at work?”

“I am,” She sighed. “I hope to have the weekend off when you come back from Sudan.”

“And if not?”

“I am stuck working I’m afraid. But the good news is, I’m off longer for Christmas now, we are ahead of schedule.”

“Where are you based?”

“At home.”

“I mean for the shoot.”

“Wales, some random spot in the middle of nowhere.”

“Is there a possibility I could come to you?”

“What if you are seen?”

“Elle…”

“I am just scared.”

“Who will notice me?”

“The cast and crew.”

“Will they care?”

“Probably not, I mean we do have actual famous people here.” She joked, giggling down the phone.

“Excuse you, and what am I?” she just giggled in response for a moment.

“When are you off to Sudan?”

“Wednesday.”

“Promise me you will try to be safe, and try to keep that really nice smile on for those kids.”

“What smile?”

“The one that lights up your eyes and gives you wrinkles around them, the one that makes others around you smile, they need that.”

“I will do my best.”

“I love you, Tom, promise me you will email or text if you get a chance, even just the words ‘It’s Hot’.”

“I will do so every day.”

“Whenever you get a chance will suffice, goodnight Tom.”

“I love you too Elle, I cannot wait until I get back and we get to have fun over Christmas, goodnight, darling,” he smiled, hanging up the phone, he lay on his pillow and smiled sadly to himself, hating that it would be a couple of weeks before he saw her again.

[avaquet]

Rydaal: Shedding Our Skin

Day 3 prompts! Late night rendezvous! This story is for MERweek, and takes place pre-relationship. :3

WARNING: Mentions of abuse!

I paced the Tempest, and I thought everyone was asleep, or piloting. We were headed back to Aya to reunite the Moshae with the angara. I jumped out of my skin when Jaal suddenly came out of his room. He shared the same response.

“I thought you were asleep.” We both said. Not in sync.

“I can’t.” I replied. “Been walking the ship for the past hour.”

“I was busy sending a report to Evfra. Came out to get a drink.” He cleared his throat. “Care to join?”

I shrugged. “Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyways.” We walked together down to the kitchen.

He sat down next to me with his water. “I uh… I wanted to ask you a question, if you don’t mind.”

I chuckled. “I’m surprised your holding back.”

“Yes well, I also have to ask Evfra this, but I wanted your opinion on it first.”

“Ah, well, I’m listening.”

He smiled widely as he spoke. “I’ve come to enjoy being on the ship, with you and the crew. I was wondering if I may stay.”

“You don’t want to go back? Even...even after what you saw?”

“I want to stay. I feel important here, and we got many things accomplished. I feel like I’m not waiting on something to happen when I’m here. Also, the crew seems to enjoy my presence.”

I chuckled. “That they do, Jaal. I-the crew would love to see you stay, and you’re a kickass fighter. As long as it’s okay with Evfra, then we’d love to have you here.”

“What about you?” He took a drink.

“What about me?” I raised a brow.

“I want to know what you think about me staying. You are the one in charge.”

I scoffed, “Hardly.”

“Then let me rephrase. I care about what you think.” Jaal clarified.

That phrase oddly took me by surprise. I knew he was open about pretty much everything, but maybe it’s because I haven’t really heard that being said to me. I cleared my throat. “Um, well, yes. I really enjoy your presence here.” I smiled gently. “You’ve been a good friend to me so far, despite me being completely alien to you.”

“It nice to see that we can prove the bigots wrong. And myself.”

“What do you mean?”

He chuckled. “Ah, when I first met you, I wished they would’ve killed you. In truth, I was afraid we would have more opposition. I had only heard of what happened on Kadara, but I’ve never seen the Initiative species.”

“I’m surprised you volunteered to go with me then.”

“I’m not. Mainly because I noticed something that was extremely different in you, than the kett. And I wanted to see for myself if I could be hopeful.” He smiled.

“What was the difference? Other than we’re obviously better looking.” I joked.

“The way you showed your emotions. Kett have but one, dominance. They came confidently and asked for peace. Never said sorry, never seemed afraid. But you,” I scoffed and held back any more laughter as I remembered how I acted. “You were so afraid. You apologized for the way you landed. I...felt bad. Just a bit, I wasn’t sure if it was just an act. Then you pleaded Evfra for help.”

“So, you got hope out of my fear?” I grinned, not meaning it seriously.

Jaal shook his head, “Not exactly. But, if you were confident and careless, I may have been the one to plead Evfra to shoot you. Or permission to.”

“I literally dodged a bullet by being absolutely terrified. Ah, nice.” I gave out a dry chuckle.

He giggled with me, “I doubt they would’ve actually listened to me. Though, I am glad that I was proven wrong about you.”

“Hell, me too. I don’t want to be anything like a kett. Cold soulless bastards. Er, sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t make the kett. And I agree.” He had looked down for a moment then back up. “I have another thing to ask you.”

“Fire away.” Haha, fire away. After talking about getting shot. Hah…

“Did I make you uncomfortable on Voeld?”

I thought for a moment, “At first I felt weird, but I wasn’t going to complain. Voeld was a lot colder than any of us had prepared for.” Lexi had warned us, but like kids leaving the house in the middle of winter stating it is not that cold out, Mom, I’ll be fine! Off we went.

“Are you saying you got used to it?”

“Had to. Not that you’re uncomfortable or anything, in fact I think I rather enjoyed it. Though you gotta blame that one on me being utterly touch starved for like, months.” My face felt hot.

He cocked his head, “Are you...blushing?” I could see a small smile forming that made me feel funny.

There was an awkward pause of me thinking about how to respond. I cleared my throat, “Um, heh, yeah. Yeah I am. Just a… Just a bit.” I couldn’t look into his eyes. What in the hell is happening to me? I know what...just fucking why? Why now? Damn, this is so inappropriate. I’m like a captain of the ship and he’s a crew member. Except I’m not, and he’s technically not. He answers to Evfra, it’s just that Evfra tells him to listen to me. Ack, no no no no, you’re not feeling anything, Sara. You’re just touch starved and trying to trauma bond. This is just hormones. This shit will go away. Yeah but, this isn’t the first time I felt this. So? He’s spent his whole life fighting and killing aliens. Even if your feelings were true, do you honestly think he would reciprocate them? Could his brain have the wirings to feel any ounce of attraction towards you? An alien? Again, he fought and despised aliens his whole life. Him being your friend should be good enough is it not, Sara? Just accept it.

“Do humans really closet their emotions that much?” His voice broke my thoughts. “If you liked something just say it. What harm will it do to let others know that you enjoy something?”

“It’s ah, cultural thing. Usually people don’t sleep together unless they’re well...together. With the exception of children and their parents. Humans for some reason have to see literally everything as something sexual or romantic, because apparently plantonic doesn’t exist.” I mocked. “It’s stupid, really.”

It took him a moment to respond, “Was that why it was uncomfortable for you at first?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Society ingrained itself into my head, and I want it out. It would be wildly inappropriate for me to have that sort of feelings for you.”

He shrugged, “And why is that?”

“It would be like a co-worker getting with their boss.”

“So? Is that not allowed?”

What? “Wait, you’re telling me, it is allowed in your culture?” He nodded. “Doesn’t that cause like, biased or opinionated ah, um, things to happen? Like who’s in charge of what or where?”

“That happens anyways, does it not? Your feelings don’t simply go away when you ignore them. They’re stored. The only way to deal with them is by acknowledging them and getting them out. If you romantically like someone, you will still make decisions that show that. Same thing with family or friends.” He clarified.

“Aren’t there any problems with this? Like if a boss was with a worker and the boss made them a manager just because they favor them and not for their abilities?”

“Even though your culture sees it as inappropriate, does it stop what you’re describing?” I shook my head. “Making someone in charge because you like them, is wrong. No matter what. It hurts many many things. But people are charged by emotions anyways, ignoring them will not make a difference. Usually it makes things worse.”

“If word got around, people would usually fire the boss for even thinking about it.”

“That’s idiotic. Fire the boss if the boss abuses their power and puts someone in charge that doesn’t qualify. Don’t fire the boss for simply being a person.” He retorted.

“Our ideology comes from the fear of people acting out their emotions. Humans go to the extreme a lot, so we feel that ignoring these emotions will be the best.”

He seemed confused, “Ah, could you elaborate?”

“It’s not uncommon for...let’s say a boss who likes their worker, to try and have sex with them because of how they feel. And because they are the boss, they use that position to try and sorta order them or blackmail them to have sex with them.”

He had the most disgusted look on his face. “Not that that ever happens in our society, because it has. But that is absolutely outrageous and sickening. Abusive bosses should be fired. Don’t restrict others to being mere...robots because you refuse to fire a horrible boss.”

“But yeah. That’s where that stems from. Humans cannot handle their emotions.”

“Because you never deal with them.” Jaal seemed frustrated. “You’ve never learned how to properly work with them. For angara, this is taught from birth. It’s not perfect, but at least very few of us are emotionally repressed.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things frustrating for you.”

“I imagine it must be frustrating for you because you have to live in it constantly.”

I nodded, “Yeah. A bit.”

He let out a frustrated grunt. “No wonder...have I made your crew uncomfortable by...being the way I am? So open?”

“A little, yeah. But they sorta figured out it was part of your culture anyways.”

“Doesn’t excuse it. So, all the compliments I gave...they weren’t received as platonic, were they?”

“I cannot speak for everyone, but the consensus seems to be that no, they weren’t. And even if they were, it took everyone by surprise.”

He buried his head in his hands. “I’m...so sorry. I...I should’ve thought better.”

I reached out to his shoulder, “Hey, it’s okay. I believe we understand now. All first contact is awkward for a while. We’re just getting used to each other.”

He relaxed and looked at me, “Thank you. I will watch what I say.”

I sat back, “Oh pfft. Don’t. I love it when you compliment us. Or, we love it, anyways. Heh. Just...continue being you. We love it. I think your personality is much needed in times like this. And, maybe you could teach us a thing or two about dealing with our emotions.”

He smiled, “Maybe. I’m not sure how good of a teacher I will be, but I can do my best. Thank you, Sara.”

I bowed my head, “It’s not a problem. In fact it’s relieving to be around you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You’re contagious like that. Since you’re so open, I feel like I can be open and comfortable around you, too. I’m not going to complain.”

“I’m glad I have that effect. I don’t complain when I’m around you either.” He smirked. Is he..?

“Hah, careful. I already like you, you don’t want me to end up liking you or- wait. No, that’s not.” My face got hot again and then I was the one with the buried face. “I don’t understand words.” I could hear him chuckle.

“Hmm… I’ll have to think on that.”

[writing-in-riverdale]

interview | cole sprouse x reader

request

written by: yours truly

edited by: @jugheadxreaderinyourhead

anonymous said: I loved guest star!! 😍 I was wondering if you could make a fic about cole how youve been keeping your relationship for months now and fans are suspecting that youre dating because of all the bts and photos of you and his ig and in one interview that youre having together someone questions you guys about it. sorry if this was long 😂 i love your fics 😘❤

a/n: basically this is another guest star part but an interview!

✿

“god i’m so nervous”. you mutter pulling on your fingers as you wait in the green room with your boyfriend cole and co-star kj. we were about to endure a joint interview and it was your first lot of press you’ve done for riverdale.

but it wasn’t that factor that made you nervous, it was that people were becoming more and more aware of your romantic relationship with cole.

you’d been able to keep it under wraps for the whole two years you’ve been dating but now that you were both sharing the small screen people had caught on.

so you had to control yourselves whenever you were out. refraining yourselves from snap chatting each other or posting photos all over your instagrams.

you had to be strictly platonic. you didn’t need any sort of bad press if you two were to break up. so for now you weren’t a couple, you were just a couple of besties.

or atleast that’s what you thought. you thought were pulling it off. but more and more accounts for your ‘ship name’ with cole had popped up on both twitter and instagram and not to mention the constant questions when meeting fans in the flesh.

especially when they caught you out mid-date. when you two had to coyly pretend that you were waiting on other friends to excuse the fact that you were out together without the rest of the cast.

and to be quite frank you were getting sick of all the pretending and running around. sometimes you just wanted kiss your boyfriend or hold his hand whilst you walked down the streets.

not that you really had the opportunity to take a leisurely stroll down the road, being famous disney stars and all.

“you’ll be fine”, cole whispers walking toward you making sure no one was staring at the two of you. he placed a soft hand on your shoulder, instantly filling you with comfort.

“just breathe okay? if they ask don’t say yes but don’t say no, yeah? that way we aren’t lying or avoiding the question” you nod smiling to the boy as a young women calls you over to the interview room.

the three of you file in, sitting down on a huge plush couch, each boy on either side of you as the interviewer sits in her own seperate lounge chair.

the interviewer starts her intro off strong turning toward the three of you. “kj apa as archie andrews, y/n l/n as c/n c/l/n and cole sprouse as jughead jones on the cw’s riverdale!”

the three of you all smile greeting the interviewer, and the camera crew, as you settle into the interview, talking about the upcoming season and possible plot.

you were too busy worrying to even pay attention to half the stuff that was spewing from the ladies mouth, that you barely noticed her turn to you and begin to engage in conversation until kj smoothly nudged you.

patting down your dress you push your hair off your shoulder as she addressed you directly.

“so how is it for you to go from disney to the darker side of the cw?”

“i mean it’s a lot different to disney i’ll tell you that”. you pause the group laughing to themselves “i didn’t even really think i’d be coming back to acting but i couldn’t resist the role”.

she nods playing with the cards in her palms. “so anything in particular that’s vastly different?”

“well - it’s still directed for the younger generation but i feel like in disney it was more so for the children than the preteens for example…and the content we’re filming is a lot heavier than the stuff we dealt with on y/d/s but it’s also just as fun and exciting as i remember”.

“so you and cole -” you freeze at the mention of him, “both disney kids coming back to acting. kj what was it like to know that you were working with some of the greatest names in disney?”

you breathe a sigh of relief taking a sip from the glass of water on the table as you listen to kj rattle on about how much he adored cole and dylan.

“both of their shows i watched religiously. me and my mates used to love it aye. especially y/d/s with uh y/n we loved her a lot - im pretty sure one of my mates had a poster of her”.

you blush giggling to yourself. “so you had a crush on y/n?” the interviewer laughs, kj turning red at the words. you continue laughing placing a hand around his arm.

“aw kj!!!” you swoon embarrassing him further. cole joined in on the fun, “yeah he was a big fan we kinda had to push him a bit and be like ’hey buddy“.

kj shakes his head furiously to the camera his words rushing out in defence “nah nah nah”. sending you and cole into a laughing fit as the kiwi struggled to cover up his words.

“i mean i was a fan. like who wasn’t aye, but nah it’s a lot of fun filming with them and we all are good friends with the others too. but ugh yeah- it’s hard to go out anywhere because fans notice them from a mile away”

the interviewer laughs “wait people still notice you as your disney characters?” we both nod cole taking the lead.

“i mean it’s very flattering but as you can see im not the same kid with the blonde shaggy bowl cut so sometimes i question how they’d recognise me- especially from friends”.

you smile the interviewer looking to you for input “what about you?”

you nod leaning back slightly into the couch feeling coles arm against the top of the couch.

“they do yes, i go anywhere and they all yell ”c/n“ and sometimes i just forget and then they’re running and i’m running and then they’re screaming and i’m screaming”.

the room started to laugh.

“it’s a very weird situation” you giggle the interviewer cutting in.

“and you looking nothin like that girl anymore- you look amazing!”

you place a hand over your heart in awe “thank god for that” you joke poking fun at yourself. “i grew up and hit puberty and sometimes when i hear someone say ’hey you look like that girl off y/d/s? i’m like damn i must be having a rough day”.

the interviewer giggles “oh don’t be so hard on yourself- doesn’t she look hot now boys?” she slaps kj’s leg and they both nod.

“god yeah she’s come along way from disney-even though i still had a crush on c/n”, cole comments a smile growing on your face at the compliment.

“so are you all single?”

your heart plummets at the question. the dreaded question for anyone in the industry is asked whenever they are in one or aren’t. no one wants to be asked this question ever.

cole answers first surprising you “i’m not no”.

“i am” kj chirps taking a long drink from his water.

“i’m not either” you clear your throat smiling, refusing to make eye contact with cole.

the interviewer smirks knowing she got the answer you wanted “oh so you two are off the market”. she pretends to act surprised “well who are they”.

cole replies cutely “for us to know and you to never find out- all you need to know is she’s beautiful and one of a kind”.

you fight off the blush tinting on your cheeks as the interviewer wraps up the interview.

“one last question before you guys leave- serpent jughead? yes or no?”

“yes yes yes” you stammer feeling confident. “have you seen jughead in a leather jacket? serpent jughead is the best thing to come out of riverdale”.

cole blushes and the interview is officially over. cole’s manager walking over to escort us back to our green room.

“i think you might have just outed us” he teases walking dangerously close to you, his hot breathe on your neck.

“what can i say- serpent juggie just does some indescribable things to me”.

tag list: @hauntedcherryblossombanana-blog @sadbreakfastclb @jugandbettsdetectiveagency @kindfloweroflove @fragilefrances @mydelightfulcollectiontyphoon @onceuponagladerhead @natalieroseg @sardonic-jug

[robininthelabyrinth]

Coldwave Prompt: “But what if I fall?/Oh, my darling, but what if you fly?”

Fic: Daydream Believer (AO3 Link)Fandom: The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow (mostly characterization)Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, background Lisa Snart/Cisco Ramon, Lisa Snart/Iris West/Eddie Thawne, Patty Spivot/Barry Allen

Summary: Everybody’s always wanted a chance to live out their wildest childhood dreams.

It just so happens that Leonard Snart, mild-mannered structural engineer, dreamed of being a comic-book style supervillain.

———————————————————————————————-

Everybody’s got dreams.

Some people have dreams that take them when they’re children, dreams of what their life could be, should be, glorious dreams that make you wake up with a smile on your face.

Some people get to live those dreams.

Others…don’t.

It’s not that Len doesn’t like being a structural engineer! As jobs go, it’s incredibly fulfilling, though he still wistfully wonders what would’ve happened if he’d taken accounting instead like he’d originally wanted. He’s got a masterful hand for design and a way of thinking that lets him visualize his buildings in perfect 3D in his head. Hell, even his hobby – studying the blueprints of buildings throughout the city to analyze them for security weaknesses and figure out how he could do it better – is work-related, so clearly, he enjoys what he does.

It’s just, you know.

It’s not what he dreamed of as a kid.

Of course, when Len was a kid, he dreamed of becoming a comics book style supervillain.

It’s not exactly a real job: you don’t see it on the quizzes suggesting what college major might be right for you, or job hunting on the Internet, or well, anywhere, really. It’s just the dreams a of a child.

Len doesn’t regret taking on the loans he did so that he could keep Lisa in his care, showing that – although young – he was a college student on the Right Track instead of a corrupt cop with a penchant for mob-related (and unsuccessful) theft or a junkie who only sometimes remembers that Lisa’s her daughter. He’s paid off those loans and he’s put Lisa into college and he’s, you know, doing okay. Got a good job, nice apartment, the works. He’s content. Maybe not happy, but content.

He still wishes he lived in a superhero universe, but hey, what can you do.

He figures that’s the end of it – keep going the way he is; now that he’s made partner at his firm and can do whatever the fuck he wants time-wise as long as the job gets done, he can presumably devote some time to finding a nice girlfriend or boyfriend or non-binaryfriend like Lisa keeps hinting at – and it would be, except for the Particle Accelerator explosion.

He’s working late that night, sees the flash of light outside his window, sees the news stories in the weeks that follow. A few months later, the first weird incident occurs. A little later, another.

The online community proposes that these incidents are actually caused by people – people who have been granted special powers by the Particle Accelerator explosion, like comic-book gamma rays except that they didn’t actually kill you and they did actually give you superpowers. These people are dubbed ‘metahumans’.

Len thinks it’s so cool.

He didn’t get any superpowers, of course – his life is not anywhere near that awesome – but he immediately runs to that great information consolidator, the Internet, to find out more. A few months in, he’s joined a chat group with the various Internet self-proclaimed experts on the subject of metahumans: Patty (taking police academy lessons so she can save up money for an eventual career as a CSI, whose Instagram pics of suspected metahuman sites are second to none), Kadabra (works in Mercury Labs, does freelance scientific analysis of various incidents, also weirdly obsessed with stage magic for some reason), Axel (high schooler with an attitude problem, but lots of free time to run errands for the rest of them), and, of course, Iris (metahuman blogger extraordinaire, always first on the scene – he thinks she works as a barista, but her dad’s a cop and she has smuggled out crime scene descriptions so even beyond her in-person investigation, she’s a glorious source of news-news-news. He keeps telling her to apply to be a journalist somewhere.)

It’s just a hobby, though.

Well, at first.

When the Streak appears, it’s – it’s not just a hobby anymore.

We’ve got a superhero!!! he texts the group, along with a picture stolen (hacked) from a speed camera. It shows definitively that the bolt of lightning is – as they suspected – a metahuman, not a force of nature.

I KNOW OMG, Iris responds immediately.

I haaaaate police academy, Patty sends. I want to be OUT THERE already!!! with the METAS!!!

Just skip, like I do, Axel texts.

You skip one more day and I will cut you into pieces in my lab, brat, Kadabra replies.

Seconded, Len sends. Structural engineer – I know where to bury body parts.

WTF, both of you, Axel says. And they say teenagers are morbid.

You more than most LOL, Patty sends.

What if he’s a danger?? Kadabra sends, ignoring the part of the chat that rapidly devolves into rude emojis going back and forth.

He’s been doing good work, Iris objects. Stopping bad guys.

We don’t know if they’re bad guys.

Uh, they’re trying to KILL PEOPLE; they’re bad guys.

I’m just saying, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with a superpowered metahuman deciding he can take justice into his own hands, Kadabra writes.

Kind of the definition of a superhero, Len notes.

Some of the people the Streak has stopped have disappeared, Patty says. Gotta say, it’s a little worrying.

For some reason, that’s what twigs the idea in his mind.

That old childhood dream.

Len stares at the chat, his friends going on and discussing the pros and cons of vigilantism, especially when superpowers are involved. Discussion of how balance works – whether the superhero is the response to the metahuman threat, or whether the superhero will act as a lightning rod to draw in more crazies – discussions of who watches the watchmen –

Guys, he texts the group. I think I’m going to become a supervillain.

OMG, Patty texts. Really???

Dead serious. That way I can keep the superhero on his toes & make sure he’s not murdering people at random, plus if any new bad guys show up, I’ll be able to get the first scoop.

I am so in, Iris texts. You have to tell us EVERYTHING.

You get me photos, I will give you my soul, Patty says.

I can help with lab analysis, Kadabra texts.

Oh, god, yes, me too!!! Patty throws in. Team Supervillain is definitely on as of right now!

We need a better name than that, Axel puts in. And I don’t know if I can do anything –

Stay in school and keep an eye on the rumors, Len says. I don’t want to get, like, a dumb name or anything.

But ur not a meta, Axel replies. The streak will kick ur ass.

I’ll figure something out :)

Len clicks out of the chat.

Hey, you know what they say about dreams. Shoot for the moon; you might land among the stars.

Not his fault his dream’s a little unorthodox.

——————————————————————————————————————

The first heist is easy enough to plan. A couple of drunks from the bad side of town, a handful of badly guarded diamonds, a really interesting use of liquid nitrogen, and suddenly everyone else in the slum part of downtown is convinced that he’s some super-thief from out of town despite his fairly heavy Central City accent.

He pays the guys out of his bank account – it’s amazing how little they’ll accept on the grounds that fencing diamonds is hard – and mails the diamonds back to the owners with some suggestions on how to improve security.

He’s not really expecting to get mail in return asking if he’d be interested in seeing if he can crack the security around the Kahndaq Dynasty Diamond, because they’re bringing in a very good fake – it is Central City, they’re not stupid – and they’d really like to know before they take the real Diamond on tour, but hey, it’s as good an excuse as any.

He gets a crew together.

And then the Streak comes.

OMG OMG OMG, Patty texts. Did he touch you???

He punched me, Len texts back, amused as ever by Patty’s enthusiasm.

HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD, Kadabra writes. SPEED = FORCE; SPEEDSTER PUNCH = DEAD LEN!!!

Maybe Len has no mass, Axel writes, clearly sitting in his science class at school.

It’s my lack of gravity that does it, Len writes back immediately, and grins when everyone sends him little dagger emojis.

He goes searching for something that’ll help him stop a speedster. He’d thought liquid nitrogen would be the answer – speed and cold, after all – but if he can’t even see the Streak, he’ll never be able to use it in a controlled manner, and he’s got to be cautious about these things.

Luckily, with his name, his family history, he can walk into the worst bar in Central and everyone will go ah, yes, Snart – he’s one of us.

The squirrelly man who sells goods from STAR Labs is a godsend.

(One who Patty proceeds to bag as her very first police arrest on the force, thanks to the evidence Len sent her; she’s very pleased.)

Len’s a little worried about whoever bought the matching heat gun before he could get there, but whatever.

He’s got a Streak to fight and a diamond to steal.

——————————————————————————————————————

CAPTAIN COLD, Iris texts gleefully. CAPTAIN FUCKING COLD!

I am the COOLEST supervillain, Len replies, equally gleeful.

Fuck you and the puns you came in on, Axel texts.

Just chill, Axel, Len sends.

I hate you.

No need to be so cold.

HATE.

Guys, I think Axel’s freezing me out. What do I do?

FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!

Oh, he’s breaking out the Clue references, Iris types. Now we’re really in trouble.

Did you get the diamond? Kadabra asks.

Yeah, I’ve got it. Gonna send it back, of course, but right now it’s a great paperweight. Beautiful piece of ice.

Fuck you so bad, Axel writes. How are you simultaneously this awesome and this dorky?

Says the high schooler in the metahuman conspiracy chatroom, Len types. We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t dorks.

Still, well done, Iris writes. Icing the train was a work of genius. Very supervillain.

I’m still not sure how the Streak managed to turn what would have otherwise been a relatively minor slippage disturbance on the tracks into a fully-fledged train wreck, but whatever, Len replies. At least he also got everyone out.

And the awful night train is gone and the city finally has an excuse to replace it, Patty says happily. She’d had to ride that train for a while. They’ve already gotten approval from their insurance people; they’re so crazy happy right now. You’re everyone’s favorite supervillain.

Len smiles. He’s got the best team.

I want to know everything, Iris says. Not just what you gave me to put on the blog.

I’ve got a lead on who the Streak is, he tells her smugly. And he does, too – the faces of the Streak’s accomplices were unmasked, just right out there like they’re asking to be looked up online. And where you find accomplices, you find the mastermind – or, well, the hero.

Coffee. Tomorrow, Jitters, noon. OR DIE, she writes back immediately.

Oooh, RL meet-up! I’ll be there, Patty writes.

Bah, work; no way I’ll make it, but you’d better catch me up later, Kadabra writes. Axel – don’t even think about it.

Yeah, yeah. No worries. Tomorrow’s chemistry; I’m not skipping it.

Awww, our budding little chemical engineer, Patty coos.

With my sister in mechanical engineering, I think we’ve got the whole set, Len adds.

GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL, Patty writes.

So, CAPTAIN COLD, what’s next? Iris asks.

Len just smiles.

——————————————————————————————————————

Being a supervillain is basically better than anything Len could have possibly imagined.

He’s Captain Cold, now; people call him Cold instead of Snart, the bartender puts on Cold as Ice every time he comes to the bar – he has a theme song! – and he has an action figure.

People are still figuring out the whole Streak/Flash thing, since they can’t see him, but Captain Cold, they’re pretty damn sure is a villain.

Really, all he needs is an excuse to get the Flash to come and fight him one-on-one, and everything will be perfect. But he knows better than to just go out with the cold gun, flash it around – hah! – and hope everything will work out fine.

Kidnap one of the Flash’s teammates, Iris suggests. She’s got a rather wicked streak to her.

Are you sure you don’t want to be a supervillain, too? he asks.

Let me think of a theme first, she says. Right now I’m enjoying being the Flash’s favorite reporter.

I am rather curious as to why he chose you, Patty says. No offense, you’re great, but there’s a whole city of reporters with way more publicity than your blog gets.

I’m pretty sure he works with my dad sometimes, Iris says. Dad has been REALLY squirrelly about the whole metahuman/Flash thing. He’s even convinced my otherwise awesome foster-bro to try to talk me out of writing about the Flash because it’s ~~dangerous~~

Let me guess, Patty says. It’s OK for them because they’re guys, but you’re a delicate flower that needs to be protected.

Iris is the opposite of a delicate flower, Len writes. Iris will raze this city in her wake if she feels like it.

Awww, Len, you say the nicest things, Iris says. Still not sold on becoming part of your supervillain club. Which, FYI, you still need to name.

Villains United? Kadabra suggests.

Legion of Doom? Axel sends.

No, Len says. Relax, it’ll come to me. Besides, I don’t see any of you guys working out your supervillain identities.

I’ve got something planned, Axel writes.

Not if it interferes with school you don’t, Kadabra writes.

Ugh, FINE.

I’d join up in a heartbeat except for how the cop thing is currently paying my bills, Patty writes. Also, can we, like, murder Mark Mardon?

First we need to FIND Mark Mardon, and also pls keep all discussions of murder offline, Len writes.

Wasn’t it Clyde that killed your dad? Iris asks.

Same difference.

Not really…

I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, I’m still looking for the edge I need for the next match with the Flash, Len writes before the argument gets any more serious. Though I think the suggestion of kidnapping one of his teammates is a good one.

, Iris texts. Go for the girl; superheroes are so UGH about that.

You’re just sore about your dad + bro, Len texts back with a smile.

Hell yes I’m salty AF about it, she replies.

Len rolls his eyes and mildly hopes that Iris’ family figures out that no one puts Iris West in the corner before she does end up going supervillain on them.

——————————————————————————————————————

The few months after his first encounter with the Flash are spent gathering intel and – almost entirely by accident – creating a legend.

Everyone seems to assume that a supervillain has to have some sort of backstory, and Len’s sadly all-too-public family history – corrupt, abusive cop turned mob thief – has led to some seriously absurd speculation about him being a high-end diamond thief (due to the contract he now has with four of the diamond importers in town to test their security, which he’s been doing quite well – he can afford to pay the crew out of the advance proceeds, so even his savings aren’t taking a hit anymore) who is internationally wanted but who has connections with the criminal underground so deep that he’s managed to erase all of his criminal record.

Len laughs for, like, an hour when Axel tells him about it.

No one’s ever confronted him about it, or even mentioned it, so it’s not like there’s anything Len can do about it. He has no intention of lying about anything, but seriously, no one ever asks him anything. He just goes places, people are super into him, and then, after he fails to do anything spectacular, they forget about him and start talking.

Which is how he ends up drinking in a bar, listening to everyone chat around him, gathering what he needs to know. He’s never kidnapped anyone before; he’s gotta do his research.

And that’s when someone walks up to him and pokes him in the shoulder.

Len turns.

There’s a guy there – big guy, broad shoulders, shaved head, shiny patches of scarred skin starting around his neckline and crawling down his forearms, peeking out from under his loose grey button-down shirt.

“You Captain Cold?” the guy asks.

He’s got one of those voices that makes your toes curl.

Len’s, at least.

“You’re really hot,” Len’s traitorous mouth proceed to say, totally without his consent.

The guy blinks, obviously taken aback, but Len’s committed now, so he fixes on his best smirk and leans forward. “How can I help you?”

“You know, I’d heard you were a lot more chill than you are,” the guy says.

“Maybe you warm me up,” Len shoots back.

“Can’t be that icy if that’s all it takes to get you hot,” the guy replies, his lips spreading into a grin.

“What can I say? You were so hot, you stopped me cold,” Len says, batting his eyelashes innocently.

“Guess I’m getting warmer by the minute with the puns.”

“What can I say?” Len says. “I know what lights my fire –”

The guy barks a laugh. “Mick Rory,” he says, face flushed with pleasure. “Arsonist. Nice to meet you.”

“Leonard Snart,” Len replies. “Supervillain.”

“Mind if I sit?”

“Please do,” Len says, eyes dropping to review the man’s very shapely figure and stopping cold (hah!) at the familiar-looking style of gun strapped into the man’s thigh. “I think you and me have lots to talk about.”

Mick follows Len’s gaze. “Yeah,” he says, and grins. “I think we do.”

——————————————————————————————————————

Glory glory glory hallelujah, Iris texts. Leonard Snart, you are the BEST. Central City has an official superhero at LAST!

The Flash, in person, Patty sends, attaching a few snapshots she snagged during the big confrontation.

Head to toe leather, really? Kadabra snipes. Is he a superhero or an escapee from a fetish convention?

If that was the case, it’d be PVC, not leather, Iris says.

TMI, Iris, he replies.

I’m a writer, Iris sends back. I know many, many things. Some stranger than others. I can send pics of some of those stranger things – tell me, how familiar are you with certain internet subcultures?

I yield the field, declare defeat, surrender unconditionally, etc., Kadabra replies. I don’t even know which one you’re thinking of, and I don’t WANT to know.

More importantly, why does he go with the full cowl? Axel sends. A domino mask is x100 cooler.

Let’s get back to how freaking AWESOME Len and his brand new buddy were out there, Iris sends. Did you get arrested after the big blow-out at the end?

I should have realized about crossing the streams, Kadabra sends apologetically. Sorry.

No worries, Len says.

At least there wasn’t a giant Stay Puft Man involved, Patty opines. Always a risk when you’re talking about crossing streams.

Len! Did! You! Get! Arrested?!?! Iris sends.

They made us do a walk of shame through the CCPD and then shoved us in a van headed for Iron Heights without processing us, Len reports. Totally illegal, btw, but whatever.

He’s a little steamed about that, actually; they didn’t even bother to check his fingerprints to see if he had a criminal record – he didn’t; hadn’t gotten so much as a driving ticket since he turned eighteen – and he’d consulted with Patty before he’d set up the fight. If the Flash showed up to fight him, literally all they’d be able to charge him with was being a public nuisance.

Well, and kidnapping, but for some reason he didn’t think Caitlin Snow would be making any statements to the police.

Reasons like “aiding and abetting a vigilante.”

But they hadn’t bothered – they’d looked at him and thought ‘Snart’, just like everyone else in his goddamn life, and coupled with Mick by his side, they’d tossed them straight into the prison van and figured they’d deal with them later.

Lisa had paid off the van drivers in advance, so the ensuing break-out was both spectacular and totally victim-less. And since the police hadn’t even charged him with anything, he can’t even be charged with escaping police custody.

“You texting your friends again?” Mick rumbles from next to him in the bed.

Len turns and grins at him. Sleepy and satisfied is a good look for Mick. Then again, Len hasn’t really found a look that isn’t good on him. “They’re good people,” he protests mildly.

“You like talking to ‘em, you talk to ‘em,” Mick says agreeably. “Gotta keep an eye on your crew.”

The way his thumb caresses Len’s hips indicates that he’s willing to make an effort to distract from it.

“They’re complimenting us on our excellent supervillain style,” Len tells Mick. “Let me enjoy my adoring public.”

“I’ll give you adoring,” Mick growls.

Len has just enough time to type BRB and toss the phone onto the bedside table.

——————————————————————————————————————

“I’m going to murder him,” Iris announces, walking straight into their apartment and throwing her hands in the air.

“I’m in,” Lisa puts in, grinning at her newly found best friend.

(Lisa had thought he was insane for the supervillain thing, then she’d met Iris and suddenly everything was a-okay in Lisa-land. Len’s pretty sure she’s angling for a threesome invite, and he’s pretty sure she’s going to get one, too, judging by the way Iris eyes her in return.)

“Which him?” Len asks mildly. “Speaking as a ‘him’, I’d prefer to know what I’m signing up for.”

Mick grunts from where he’s eating a bowl of cereal.

He’s adjusted quite quickly to random people walking in and yelling strange things, though he does tell Len he thinks it’s odd that Len’s chosen a safehouse in a fairly nice apartment complex where the neighbors sometimes knock to ask for a cup of sugar and to fist-bump him on his excellent supervillainy.

Len explained that he owns the apartment.

Mick was impressed.

“Eddie,” Iris says. “He’s in on the Flash thing now! And he’s refusing to tell me!”

“You haven’t told him that you know who the Flash is?” Len asks.

Iris snarls. “He’s my foster brother,” she says, her dramatics not hiding the fact that she’s actually pissed off about it. “And – I thought – my best friend. He should tell me these things. He’s told my dad, he’s told my boyfriend, he’s told random strangers that he only met after his coma –”

“Nine months in a coma after being struck by lightning, wakes up in better physical shape than before, suddenly hanging out with the Flash’s accomplices,” Lisa ticks off on her fingers.

“Add the fact that he obviously talks about it right before I come in through the door then changes the subject abruptly despite the fact that I totally heard him,” Iris says. “And sometimes, when he thinks I’m not looking – I’m talking that I’m still in the room, just not looking his way –he’ll superspeed something. Like I won’t notice that the desk is suddenly clean or the dishes are all washed!”

“Isn’t his speed accompanied by lightning?” Mick asks.

“It is!” she wails. “That’s what makes it so stupid – does he really think I don’t see the light out of the corner of my eyes? Humans are born predators! We notice movement before we notice anything else, including variation in tone and texture and color! I can’t tell if he thinks I’m stupid or what!”

“He probably just thinks he’s very good,” Len puts in. “And he isn’t.”

“He’s a boy in his early twenties,” Lisa drawls. “They all think they’re much better than they are.”

Len sighs, long-suffering, as Iris and Mick laugh at his wrinkled nose. Just because he was happy that Lisa had an active and satisfying sex life didn’t mean he wanted to hear the details, really.

“Anyway, I have a plan to get you your guns back,” she says briskly.

“I’m listening,” Len says, smiling at how Mick perks up. Mick loves his gun: his pyromania is totally tickled pink (red?) by it.

“Second verse,” Iris says, “same as the first. But this time we kidnap a bit of extra incentive.”

——————————————————————————————————————

Len drops Cisco and Dante off at STAR Labs, no harm done to either of them.

“That was amazing,” Mick purrs.

“I didn’t do anything,” Len says, smiling. “It was Iris’ idea, bringing the brother in; and Lisa was able to grab Cisco, no problem.”

Though she really needed to stop collecting would-be lovers or she’ll end up in an orgy.

“The way you threatened him with frostbite was beautiful,” Mick says firmly. “I wouldn’t have thought to go after his fingers.”

“Piano player,” Len says, smirking. “You can always tell.”

“So we going to hit that truck?”

“Yep,” Len says, utterly satisfied. He can’t believe they’re so foolish as to send another diamond truck on the same route – god, he’s talked to them about this! He’ll have to be extra stern in his next letter. It helps that Mick isn’t in this for the cash – as long as there is cash, he doesn’t care if it comes from their thieving or if it just appears on the table.

Len’s bank account is rich and full. Mick’s barely making a dent.

(Len’s designing a bank for work at the moment, which honestly he could do in his sleep. It’s fun to split his time between blueprints for heists and blueprints for work. Also, the irony makes him smile.)

“You sure the Flash’ll let us hit it?” Mick asks doubtfully.

“Trust me,” Len says. “He’ll want to confront me about kidnapping his friend; he’ll forget that you two are perfectly capable of getting the truck all on your own.”

Sure enough, Len finds himself in the woods somewhere outside of Central.

“Maybe I’ll speed you off to my secret prison where you can’t hurt anyone,” the Flash says cockily.

“And then I won’t be around to stop my newsfeed from releasing your identity the world,” Len drawls in return. Honestly, did the Flash not think that he’s thought of this? That was like, contingency number one.

Besides, if Barry Allen really does go and lock him into STAR Labs, Iris will just break him out.

They end up bargaining: no attacks on the Flash’s friends and family (easily agreed) and no killing (even easier) in return for the Flash letting Len run free as his supervillain.

It all went even better than he thought.

The Flash ditches him, a crackle of lightning all he leaves behind.

The Rogues, he texts the group.

What? Iris replies.

Villain group name, he says. The Rogues.

I LOVE IT, Patty sends.

Okay, that’s pretty cool, Axel concedes. Not too dorky.

If you assholes would stop vetoing my supervillain ideas, I’d join up in a minute, Kadabra promises.

Stop having stupid stage magician themed ideas, then, Iris replies. This isn’t the 90s, okay? Only serious supervillains need apply.

There was a woman who murdered people with electric bees literally last week, Len points out.

And she’s not invited into the club, Iris shoots back.

Point, Len concedes.

I’m recruiting Hartley Rathaway, once I track him down, Patty says. Sonic gloves are great! Plus, deaf supervillain – disability representation for the win!

We got the truck, Mick sends. He’s been a little more hesitant to join the texting group, but once he was assured that the chatroom was as private as current internet hacking skills could manage and everyone was overwhelmingly nice to him, he’d slowly started warming up to them.

Pun intended, of course.

Great! Len replies encouragingly. He really wants Mick to be friends with everyone; it’s important to him that everyone is happy and comfortable with each other.

Then he looks around.

Speaking of comfortable…

Could you guys send me a pickup? I’ll turn on the GPS tracker on my phone so you can find me…

——————————————————————————————————————

Iris spends a lot of time curled up in Len’s apartment eating ice cream after the pseudo-black hole incident. She’s pissed off at Barry for nearly screwing everything up. She’s pissed off at Eddie for very nearly committing suicide. She’s pissed off at her dad for conspiring to keep her in the dark about the Flash stuff for months.

Honestly, at this point, Len’s crew and Firestorm – Stein and Ronnie both – may be the only people she’s talking to.

Len’s Rogues are growing nicely, though. Mick’s there, of course, as Heatwave, and Lisa under her knew alias as the Golden Glider. Hartley joined up happily enough and is going under the name Pied Piper – he’s currently working on some sort of sonic flute. Shanwa, surprisingly enough, actually likes the name Peek-a-Boo, and is as thick as thieves with Lisa and Iris and Patty. Axel found his calling as the Trickster – Kadabra yelled at him for three hours about doing anything with the old Trickster, ever again, and Axel had folded like a bad poker hand, especially after they’d explained exactly how badly he’d been played – and now he’s using and abusing his chemistry genius.

He’s still going to school and getting good grades, though. He swears after his last stunt, Kadabra abruptly appears and looms over his shoulder any time he even thinks of skipping.

Of course, Axel also claims that Kadabra has started cooking up actual magic in that lab of his.

Kids.

“I just hate all of them,” Iris says sulkily.

“I feel you,” Len says.

Admittedly, he’s only half paying attention. His bank design is getting to the crazy portion; he needs to devote a lot of attention or the finicky details won’t iron out right.

“I think I want to be a supervillain, too,” she says.

“You’re not really cut out for it,” Mick says, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I could be,” Iris says stubbornly.

“You’ve barely ever broken a law in your life,” Mick points out. “Never been arrested, never gone to jail, never got scarred up like the rest of us. You’re not like me and Len. Just leave it be.”

“I’ll think about it,” she says grumpily.

“You don’t even have a good theme yet,” he says soothingly, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.

“Fine, fine. That one’s actually a good point,” Iris says, snuggling into the blanket.

Len smiles distractedly at Mick being adorably fuzzy. He’ll have to make up the last few weeks up to Mick somehow – maybe take him out for a nice burn on one of the condemned properties that Len bid for the destruction contracts for weeks ago, right after he first met Mick and learned about his pyromania.

He doesn’t think about what Mick said.

——————————————————————————————————————

“Oh god,” Len says.

“You killed him,” Barry says.

“Oh god,” Len says.

“Lisa was safe! You didn’t have to!”

“Oh god.”

“Um,” Barry says. “You’re – kind of freaking out?”

“He’s dead!”

“…yes?” Barry says, blinking. “Was that not the point?”

“Yes, but – but – oh my god!”

“I’m – okay, you’re seriously freaking out here. Is it because he’s your dad?”

“It’s because he’s dead!”

“…is there anything I can do to make you freak out less?” Barry asks helplessly. “Because you’re starting to freak me out.”

“Lisa,” Len says weakly. “I need Lisa. And Mick. Oh god.”

“Right,” Barry says, and suddenly everything is a blur.

Lisa is on her feet at the sight of them, dropping the towel she was holding to her mildly bloody neck. “What did you do to him?!” she shouts.

“Nothing!” Barry yelps. “Nothing! I swear! He shot your dad and then he started flipping out!”

“Go get Mick! And Iris! Now!” Lisa orders, whipping out her phone and texting.

Barry’s gone before she finishes talking.

Len is on the floor. He doesn’t remember sitting down.

“Lenny? Lenny, baby, it’s okay,” she says, crouching down next to him. “Lenny – Lenny, baby, big bro, it’s okay – look at me – you’re having a panic attack –”

Len’s ears are ringing and everything seems very far away. He can’t get his father’s face out of his mind.

“I got Mick!” Barry announces, reappearing with the man. “And Iris! Wait. Why did I go get Iris?”

Iris rushes forward. “Got your text,” she says. “Oh, Len!”

Mick kneels down and wraps his arms around Len. It helps with the shaking.

“He’s dead,” he tells Mick stupidly. “He’s dead.”

“Who’s dead?” Mick asks.

“Our dad,” Lisa says. “He put a bomb in my neck and made Lenny run jobs for him.”

“Shit,” Mick says, looking guilty. “I shoulda known something was up when you said you needed some time to yourself.”

“I didn’t want you involved,” Len says through numb lips. “He’s – he’s bad, Mick. He’s really bad.”

“And now he’s gone for good,” Lisa says. She sounds satisfied.

Len groans.

“…which I will never mention again, Lenny, I’m so sorry you had to do that!” she adds.

Iris is patting his shoulder. “It’s okay,” she says. “It’s okay.”

“Irsi!” Barry yelps. “Since when do you know Captain Cold?”

“I’m part of his Rogues, duh,” she replies. “Which maybe I wouldn’t have been, if someone had told me that they were the fucking Flash instead of keeping me in the dark and lying to my face for a year.”

Barry winces.

They’re still not talking about it.

“Wait,” Cisco says. “You’re a supervillain?”

“I’m more of a behind the scenes organizer,” Iris sniffs. “I haven’t thought of a theme yet. Anyway, can we focus on Len now?”

“He’s dead,” Len says dully. “I killed him.”

“Isn’t that kind of what you guys do?” Cisco asks.

“I’ve never killed anyone before in my life!” Len protests.

“What?!” Barry yelps. “But – we made that deal about you not killing anyone –”

“Easy enough to promise,” Len says. “Didn’t plan to do it anyway.”

“You really never killed anybody?” Mick says, sounding mildly surprised. “Not even in prison?”

“He’s never been in prison,” Lisa says. “Well, not except as, like, a visitor.”

“What, really?” Mick says, blinking.

“How’d he manage that?” Caitlin asks, frowning. “Statistically, most expert criminals spend at least a little time in prison before they’ve perfected their technique –”

“He’s a supervillain, not a criminal,” Lisa says impatiently. “He’s never been to prison, he’s never been arrested – well, not properly – and the worst thing he’s ever gotten was a parking ticket for letting the time meter run out while he was visiting me in the hospital one time.”

“No way,” Cisco protests. “I saw the stories online – he’s got a record a mile long, only he deleted it all –”

“Those are just stories,” Iris says. “I helped spread some of them.”

“Iris, you didn’t,” Len says.

“Oh, good, he’s starting to come out of it.”

“You’re not a criminal?” Mick says slowly. “Not at all?”

“I wanted to be a supervillain,” Len says. He’s tired and his head hurts and he thinks he may have hurt Mick’s feelings somehow, even though he never lied about anything. He should have been more clear, he guesses. “Childhood dream. Had to put it aside to take care of Lisa. Then, when the Flash appeared…I figured it was time.”

“You steal diamonds all the time!” Cisco shouts.

“Yeah,” Len says. “And I send ‘em back after with comments on improving their security against metahuman and super-threats. I get paid an average of 50k per successful robbery, which is honestly more than I’d get fencing the diamonds on the black market.”

“What,” Barry says.

“How do you afford that sweet apartment?” Mick demands. “And all the extra cash you always have?”

“Lenny’s partner in a mid-sized architectural design firm,” Lisa says proudly.

“I’m designing a bank right now,” Len offers, closing his eyes.

“You’re designing a bank?”

“I specialize in figuring out architectural design for high security needs,” Len says. “I basically spend all day trying to figure out how to break into places and then turning it around to figure out how to stop people from doing what I just did.”

“You’re in the house all day,” Mick says. He sounds upset. “You don’t, like, go into an office or anything.”

“I’m a partner,” Len says, leaning his head against the wall. “I took flex-time leave; I work from home now. Telecommuting. You see me skype with my employees sometimes.”

“Wait – the guys you’re always yelling about banks with are your employees?” Mick says.

“Imagine having Captain Cold as a boss,” Cisco says, marveling.

“You’re basically a normal person,” Barry says, sounding horrified.

“Yes, and he just had a very traumatic experience,” Iris says. “So stop badgering him.”

“He killed someone!”

“He killed his abusive father, who just put a bomb into his sister’s neck!” Iris shouts. “Maybe if you actually cared about your family, you’d pay some attention to that!”

“I do care!” Barry shouts back. “That’s why I lied!”

“Because you don’t trust me!”

“No! Because I want to keep you safe! Damnit, Iris, I thought I was doing the right thing!”

“Well you weren’t! You were just being selfish, like you always are!”

Len pulls up his knees, feeling very small. He hates it when people yell.

He feels Mick’s arm wrap around him and he lets his head fall into Mick’s shoulder. “M’sorry I didn’t make it clear,” he mutters into Mick’s neck. “Shoulda said. Like Iris and Barry. But you only wanted a partner in crime, and I wanted you…”

“We’re still partners in crime,” Mick says. His voice is low and harsh as always, but it’s still the sweetest thing Len’s ever heard. “You’re still a supervillain, remember? Leader of the Rogues.”

“You don’t mind that I’m not a proper criminal?”

“You’re a proper criminal to me,” Mick assures him.

Lisa puts her fingers to her mouth and whistles a sharp, piercing whistle that deafens the entire room.

“You’re all being stupid!” she roars, making everyone take at least three steps back. “Iris, Barry was being a dumbass, but he meant well and he’s apologized. Get over it. Barry, all Iris wants is for you to say you’ve learned your lesson, you’re sorry, and that you’re never going to hide anything from her ever again.”

They blink.

“Now.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve learned my lesson, I will hide nothing from you ever again,” Barry says quickly.

“Apology accepted and I’m sorry for what I said about you not caring about family,” Iris says, equally quickly. “I know that you care a lot and it was really uncalled for.”

“It’s fine, I understand why you were upset,” Barry says.

“Don’t try to get me to make up with my dad, though, I’m still pissed at him,” she warns.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Barry says.

“You’re literally thinking of ways to do it right now.”

“Yes,” Barry says, nodding. “In the spirit of not hiding things from you: yes, yes I am.”

“Can we stop apologizing now or will you kill us?” Iris asks Lisa.

Lisa crosses her arm and surveys both of them. “Fine,” she says. “Acceptable. Also, while we’re at it, Cisco, we’re going out for dinner tomorrow. 8 PM. Wear something nice.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cisco says. His eyes are shining. “Wait, if he’s a structural engineer, does that mean you’re really a mechanical engineer?”

“Yep,” she says.

“Awesome,” he says.

“Hey, Flash,” Mick says. “Help me get Len home? I think he needs some peace and quiet, maybe some hot cocoa.”

“With mini-marshmallows?” Len asks plaintively.

“Of course,” Mick assures him. “Flash?”

“Uh, sure,” Barry says. “I’ll…do you have to be a supervillain?”

“I keep my Rogues obeying the rules we made,” Len points out. “I make sure nothing really gets stolen, or at least that no one gets hurt by it. If any new supervillain comes to town, they’ll probably come to try to recruit me first. My contacts on the police force help me turn in the really bad guys –”

“Who do we know who’s on the police force?” Mick asks.

“Patty.”

“Patty?” Barry yelps. “My girlfriend?”

“Your what?!” Iris says, starting to grin.

“Well, I mean, I just asked her out yesterday…”

“Patty,” Mick says. “Patty. Instagram girl.”

“Yep.”

“The police really take all types,” Mick says. “Who’d you get arrested? Anyone I know?”

“The two assholes that were making fun of you in the bar.”

Mick’s lips twitch with amusement. “You mean the ones I beat up for doing it?”

“Doesn’t mean they should be doing it. Mental illness isn’t funny.”

Mick shakes his head and pulls Len close, running his fingers through his hair. Len sighs and lets his shoulder slump.

What a bad week.

“We’re not allowed to have weeks like this ever again,” he says, only half-awake at this point.

“Sure thing, Lenny,” Mick says. “Now go to sleep; I’ll yell at you tomorrow. First kill’s always the hardest, especially if it’s family. Took me ages to get over my family dying in a fire, and that was an accident.”

“You’re the best,” Len slurs.

“I beat up nice structural engineers who were abused as children and mentally ill people with tragic pasts,” Barry moans. “What sort of hero am I?”

“Barry, I know we’ve made up and all, but I have to say that your existential crisis is giving me life right now,” Iris says.

“Yeah, yeah – wait, what are you doing? Are you texting someone?”

“I’m live-blogging this for the Rogues. Obviously.”

“You’re what?!”

[echobasegazette]

Stranger Things

I haven’t ever written about a TV show before, mainly because I don’t watch much non-sports TV. I really just watch movies and reruns when I turn on the TV because I can’t seem to ever remember to watch shows I like when they air. But recently I have been watching TV shows, on a strictly binge-watch basis, on Netflix or HBO. Like most people, when I can’t find something to watch, I browse the “you might like this” on the Netflix homepage, and a recent addition to that category was Stranger Things. I still don’t know why I decided to watch it; maybe it was because of the ticking timer that showed up when I first clicked on the show, “4 hours until the release of season 2,” or maybe it was some of the hype I’d heard from people I know. But once I started the series, I couldn’t stop. I plowed through all 18 episodes in seven days, and when it finished, I couldn’t help but think that the final episode was absolutely perfect.

For those who haven’t seen the show I will give you some quick points to peak your interest and then suggest that you stop reading until you’ve finished the series.

Super Quick Review

The show takes place in the mid-80s, in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana. There are four kids who are playing Dungeons and Dragons in the basement when the show starts. After the conclusion of their mission/quest they all head home. One of the kids, Will, is attacked on the way home by a creature from another dimension called the Upside Down. Meanwhile there is a secret facility in town run by the United States government, and as you would expect, they are up to all sorts of no good. This show is advertised as scary, but it’s more of a thriller and suspenseful, very similar in feel and “scare” level to Super 8 by J.J. Abrams.

Now if you haven’t seen the show, I would advise you to stop here since everything going forward is full of spoilers.

This show is really freaking good so I am not going to write a review on the show itself. What I am going to do is talk about a few things that I have been thinking about since I finished watching. Some of the following points have come from reading other articles online, and some are just my own perceptions and reflections.

Why do people care about Barb Holland and Bob Newby?

It took me seven days to finish this series, and while watching it I refrained from reading anything online about the show. The main reason that I do this is so the ideas of authors don’t infect my own.  So, when I finished the show I went online and started reading articles and reviews about the show and people seemed to really like these two characters, and I have no idea why.

As soon as Barb was captured, I knew she was dead. They had to start killing characters to create the perception of threat to the main characters, and she was the perfect fit. Online there started to become a #justiceforbarb following on social media, but why? She appears to be a good person and a good friend to main character Nancy Wheeler, but her biggest contribution was being dragged to party she didn’t want to go to and trying to cock-block her friend. Do I think her parents should have been told of her death so that they didn’t sell their house trying to pay to find their daughter? Yes, of course. But someone had to die in that first season, and she is easily the best option.

Bob Newby is different than Barb; he wasn’t a throw-away character who had to die just to create the potential of a threat. Bob is a main character who dies because he made too many mistakes. First, he convinced Will Byers to tell his dream demons to go away. Sure, that’s sound advice if you are having run of the mill nightmares, but its shitty advice if you are being stalked by an interdimensional power known as the shadow monster. Second, Bob nominates himself for a suicide mission because he is really the only one who is capable of operating the computers. But once he’s finished he leaves his gun on the table before heading to the exit. Rookie mistake Bob, when you are being chased by aliens, zombies, talking toys, or inter-dimensional Demi-Dogs, you never forget your gun.

The third and final/fatal mistake Bob makes is he doesn’t complete the catch before looking up field. This might not make sense to anyone who doesn’t watch football but sometimes a WR will be about to catch a pass and then he will turn to look up field, taking his eyes off the ball leading to a dropped pass. So, make the catch and then turn up field. Bob makes the same mistake, metaphorically. He has just escaped a maze of horrors and slammed the door in the face of a Demi-Dog, he is within 30 feet of safety and he looks up and celebrates the moment. In the next instant the demi-dog crashes through the door and eats him. Bob died because he didn’t stay focused on his objective; he was too busy trying to be “Bob Newby, Superhero”.

What was the deal with Eleven’s standalone episode in Season 2?

Eleven has been stuck in a cabin for 350+ days, and Hopper has been driving her crazy because he never shows up on time. She is pissed off at Mike because she saw him chatting up Max, and so she decides it’s time to go visit her mother. While she is there, she sees a vision of another girl, Eight/Kali, and takes off to Chicago to meet up with her. Kali is the leader of a gang which robs people and kills “bad people”, and she convinces Eleven to join for a short time.

I hated this entire episode; everything about it was completely horrible. Eleven is “good guy”, sure she was a little impulsive, but she was getting training at the hands of Chief Hopper. She was on the right path. Then she meets up with Kali and her gang of losers. I was so happy when Eleven finally decided to head back to Indiana to help her friends.

My other complaint was that this episode, “The Lost Sister”, existed outside the rest of the story timeline. Every other episode jumps around between the different characters so that time passes evenly for the cast. But not this episode it’s just an entire episode of bad decisions by a 13-year-old with superpowers. It would have been better if this storyline was split between several episodes throughout the middle of season two. But really, I still don’t think I would have enjoyed the story line.

Why did Dr. Brenner want to be called by Papa by the experiment kids?

Dr. Brenner is the main human villain in the first season, and he runs the Hawkins Energy lab building. One of his duties at this covert CIA-type laboratory is training the captured children in the use of their powers. He is also in charge of keeping the experiments at the Hawkins facility a secret for the local community. In his normal duties, he has to experiment on children and kill anyone who finds out the secret nature of the facility, so basically his job sucks. Even if he donated part of his salary to charity he would still be a “bad guy” best compared to Joesf Mengele, the Doctor at Aushwitz who experimented on children. But the creepiest thing about this guy is that the children call him “Papa”. Why? The kids are isolated from the rest of the world, he could tell them to call him anything. But instead he has created this weird father relationship with the children. He should probably be investigated by the Officers of the Special Victims Unit because something weird is going on here.

Why isn’t Nancy creeped out by Jonathan Byers?

Early in the first season Jonathan Byers is walking through the woods looking for his brother Will when he stumbles on Steve Harrington’s house. There is a party going on at Steve’s house, so Jonathan pulls out his camera and starts taking pictures of the frivolities. While taking picture he captures a photograph of Nancy taking off her clothes in Steve’s room.

After developing his photos Jonathan is walking through the school parking lot and happens upon Nancy, Steve, and his goonish friend. Steve and the goon take his photos and find the revealing photo of Nancy; they proceed to rip up the photos and smash his camera. At this point Nancy feels bad for Jonathan, which is understandable given that her “friends” have just bullied the poor kid. But she ends up becoming friends with Jonathan and later dates him. Why isn’t she creeped out by the fact that he took these photos? I know he gives her some lame excuse about capturing people as they actually are, but it’s still completely creepy. I just don’t understand why this isn’t a huge red flag and major turnoff.

Who is the MVP of the first two seasons of Stranger Things 2?

Stranger Things has now completed its first two seasons, 18 episodes of content, and there is a lot going on. But my favorite thing to think about is who is the biggest hero of the show. Who is the MVP?

There are certainly a lot of quality options. The two most obvious choices are Eleven and Chief Jim Hopper. Eleven is a 12/13-year-old with some X-men like powers. She took on the Demogorgon and kicked its ass, then she threw down with some demi-dogs and closed a massive portal to the Upside down with her mind. There were some rough patches along the way, like shoplifting and joining up with a crew of losers, but she always shows up when the bread needs to buttered.

Chief Jim Hopper is just a local police chief, but he can really kick some ass. In fact, I think he punches out every person at Hawkins lab.  He has no powers except an awesome beard and a willingness to battle interdimensional beings, even though it’s way out of his jurisdiction. Heck he even looks out for Eleven when she has no place to live.

With any MVP race there has to be some dark horse candidates and here are those four options. Joyce Byers is Will and Jonathan’s (why doesn’t he go by John?) mother. She doesn’t give up on Will even when everyone thinks he is dead and that she is crazy. But her ex does throw her off for an episode. In season two she really steps up her game as she helps Hopper solve the maze that Will has drawn. Her and Bob team up to locate the missing Chief Hopper, and finally, she teams up with Nancy and Jonathan and gives heat to the shadow monsters to save her son.  

The trio of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas would also make a solid choice. Sure, they make some mistakes, they often need to be rescued by other characters, and they fight amongst themselves. But they go toe to toe with a scary ass monster with nothing but a slingshot. The also use their knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons to explain everything that’s happening to the rest of the characters. They do have some rocky moments but they remain steadfast in their desire to help their friend.

Neither Jonathan nor Nancy has a strong case by themselves, but together they are a pretty sweet team. The buy some bear traps and other tools in an effort to distract the Demogorgon. They help Murray the reporter bust open the secret on the Hawkins facility, kicking those bastards out of town. They even manage to help out Barb’s parents avoid losing their home and all their money in a desperate search for their daughter. And with the help of Joyce, they manage to save Will from the clutches of the shadow monster.

Billy Hargrove is a complete asshole and would never have a chance at the MVP, but his mullet is freaking awesome. Every time Billy does something awesome, smoking while lifting weights, seducing Nancy’s mom, playing shirtless basketball, that’s the power of his mullet. But even his mullet couldn’t save him from getting his ass kicked by his sister.

If you’ve seen the show you know none of those people have a chance. The real MVP is Steve Harrington; he even has a sweet nickname perfect for the MVP of the show, King Steve.  Steve is the only character who really changes throughout the events of the show. He starts out as a douche who is just hooking up with Nancy to get another notch in his belt. Next, he morphs into bat wielding defeater of the Demogorgon. Steve then becomes a good boyfriend, ready to take the next step with Nancy Wheeler, even putting up with a depressing dinner of KFC with Barb’s parents. Don’t worry he’s not done. Next, he gets his heart crushed but comes back as super-babysitter, equipped again with nail embedded bat. Steve closes out the show dispensing lady advice to Dustin and even drives him to the dance. Steve and his breathtaking Farrah Fawcett hair is your undisputed MVP of the first two seasons of the Stranger Things.

 The Duffy brothers are set to make a third season and there are rumors of five seasons in total. Hopefully they start filming soon because I am really excited for the next part of the show. Plus, the kids are all set to hit puberty and we don’t 20+ year old high school students in future seasons. Lets just hope that future seasons don’t ruin the absolute perfection of that final episode of season 2.

Big O

[todorokicourse-archive]

Just in case dandymeowth deletes the old posts they had on their blog (Part One)

9/10/16: bizarropurugly

list of things anti-sj have told/believed about me, this list is not exhaustive

tw for animal death/cruelty, nsfw, ableism, pregnancy, rape mention, drugs, pedophilia, etc

I personally created the Butthurt Brigade and did it to stalk and harass autistic kids on deviantART.

Also, I was kicked out of the BHB because I was “psychotic” about stalking and harassing autistics and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I was obsessed with rape and murder and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I kept harassing people sexually and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I wouldn’t stop posting NSFW in the group’s private chatroom and etc etc etc

I deny I was ever a part of the BHB.

I ran multiple accounts posing as the BHB/members of the BHB across multiple websites just to prove that all anti-sj content is a conspiracy to kill me. (???)

I got pregnant on purpose to just to have an abortion, multiple times.

I kill cats. I harassed staff and admins on various websites for pity while killing cats. Refusing to take cats to the vet, to fix them, or to let them be inside cats. I started a fundraiser for a cat who I won’t neuter and whose kittens I put in trees to scam people.

I consider myself a “shitposter extraordinaire”.

I’m anti-kink, anti-nsfw, and anti-porn.

I call people anti-choice if they keep a pregnancy. I want all pregnancies everywhere forever aborted and I think anyone who disagrees with that is a misogynist.

I use my depression as a defence when people criticize me, or as an excuse to not improve. I threaten suicide over this.

I write fanfics for rape and have been banned from multiple websites for it. I also draw rape art of people I don’t like.

I’m always smoking weed, constantly, nonstop. But also, I claim to hate marijuana.

I’m always masturbating, constantly, nonstop. I consider myself crazy, quirky, and random for having sex toys or naming my sex toys, and regularly post pictures of them. I spam my followers asking what I should do with my sex toys next.

I haven’t had a job for several years.

I believe / I said austistics are being raped and beaten in the streets in broad daylight.

I love spamming people with and generally being into hardcore guro.

I’ve been in / I am currently in groups that have the intention to give people seizures on purpose. I hate epileptics and think they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere but particularly the Internet.

I chased down and harassed, threatened, spammed multiple people for genderbend art. And for liking Uncle Grandpa, in fact I specifically followed the show’s tag to find victims.

I claim to be triggered by Uncle Grandpa existing and that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse.

I run WNSE posing as a medical expert / a medical professional.

I am intersex, or that I stated having a mole made me intersex.

I created Ham Ham Kingdom and left it in shitty code disarray. I did this with several websites and refused to let anyone else be administrators.

I lost my virginity for shits and giggles and did it with a coworker sexually harassing me. Also, I did it to prove sex was bad and so I could post all over my Tumblr how wrong and oppressive sex is.

I have a phobia of Middle Eastern men and it keeps me from sleeping well.

I lie about hating alcohol and get drunk regularly.

I groom children for pedophilia by posting instructions on how to masturbate.

I made a chatroom on dA for posting nsfw, guro, rape, etc and it was banned.

Scrapping a character and story about a single father because it wasn’t about rape or gayness.

I think age of consent laws are stupid and meaningless. I am sexually attracted to minors.

9/10/16:bizarropurugly

And now for the truth of these lies (if there is any)

same warnings as before

I didn’t create the BHB or come anywhere close to doing that. By the time I joined the BHB it had already been restarted several times, with each time having less of the original crew (and consequently having more mortal enemies from that original crew). I was briefly an admin after it had been restarted again after the dA deactivation fiasco, and then was removed as an admin as part of a fake fight, but I never asked to be reinstated, so I wasn’t. Yes, all I had to do was ask, there was no amazing revolution or conspiracy involved at all. What happened was that, in one of the few times I was ever in the BHB chatroom (which was rarely ever populated if I could remember right), we got to talking about reverse racism and how awful it was (yes, really), and that dA admins were being shit about it (which was a frequent focus). So the idea came up to make “secret” white pride groups to bait dAdmins to deleting it so that we could prove the reverse racism. Revolting as it was, they weren’t deleted, but Fuhrer Glasses and I came up with separate groups, had a “fight” about it, and when I wouldn’t say that his was funnier, he removed me as an admin until I would or until I asked. (This is different from what I had said before, I know; I had said that he edited a picture of me and I didn’t find it funny so he removed me in the same manner, but I actually remembered that that particular event happened afterwards and what he was threatening me with was actually a temporary ban from the chat, but that he didn’t go through with, and which he threatened because I wouldn’t tell him why I was asking him not to post it. At the time I didn’t want to admit I had really bad body image and dysphoria because, well, does the BHB sound like a safe place to admit to those things? Especially since I had seen members and admins alike misgender trans people they deemed “lulcows”, which is a tradition these types of groups continue now.) After that, I gradually stopped being active as I grew apathetic with dA and became less active in general on it, finding Tumblr to somehow be more preferable (maybe ‘cause all my friends had left dA too? lol). Yes, it was a troll group, and yes, it did involve harassing others like any and all other troll and anti-sj groups that have since spawned in its place. And that’s literally all it was - the same shit you’ll find on places like Tumblr, Kiwi Farms, Encyclopaedia Dramatica, and etc. It was never a specific group against any particular persons or identities, although like these places definitely featured ableists, eugenicists, Nazis, and somesuch. It’s not a proud time in my Internet history by no means, but no, I wasn’t leading a secret war against autistics, I didn’t send or threaten anybody with sexual content (the only people I talked to on messengers were Fuhrer Glasses on MSN and former-admins-now-enemies years later on Skype), I wasn’t kicked out because everyone got scared of me (honestly that’s a really laughable thing to claim if you remember who the admins were), and honestly the only place I’ve ever publically gotten into details about my kinks has been Tumblr (later FurAffinity and Weasyl), and only in recent years have I ever really openly discussed kinky stuff with people in private conversation or through messages. The only place I could think this claim would come from was when I was in the chat of the enemy group (ie, the anti-BHB) and kept talking about milk machines, which got me temporarily banned because I wouldn’t shut up and was making the chat too nsfw for everyone’s likings (generally jokes were the only OK things). I admit to making people uncomfortable here because I was an excitable shit who kept infodumping at random and I want to send out an especial apology to toonlink about that shit in particular. But no, this wasn’t the BHB and this was after I had already been removed as an admin from the BHB. The BHB wasn’t allowed to be talked about there, really. And I’ve never denied that I was a part of the BHB, ever. Denied that the BHB was all the scary made-up bullshit people who weren’t even admins claim? Yeah, and I’m really surprised at the amount of people who remember BHB and being in it, and even praise its existence and/or mourn it, but yet simultaneously think the admins ever cared about who got harassed or that the BHB was some eugenics agent group.

The “multiple accounts posing as BHB” thing came from a single person’s post that was 100% a bunch of lies and bullshit they never answered for. Other BHB members/ex-members along with myself have even denounced it. This came from the same person claiming I created the BHB, created it to stalk autistics, and was kicked out (despite being the founder? lol) because the BHB grew a conscience somehow and started caring about autism. That’s all bullshit, so is the claim that I’ve made accounts on Reddit, LJ, and side accounts on Tumblr to pretend to be the BHB to give it a bad name or to create evidence that anti-sj people are trying to kill me or some weird ass bullshit that made 0 sense. This person claimed to have been a BHB admin (they weren’t, at least not while I was ever part of it, and nobody else has heard of them) and also to have been a Skype buddy of mine during a time I didn’t use Skype but instead MSN, and as I’ve said the only BHB people I’ve talked to on Skype were original-now-ex-members, which all have attested to this being bullshit. And what’s funny is that this out-of-nowhere post appeared during a dispute with user noyka about whether ableism is real and whether the disabled are oppressed, and has subsequently been used by said user as proof that I’m The Real Ableist. This was also the same user claiming I said autistics were being beaten and raped in the streets, which has never been anything I’ve said, not literally and not in spirit. This claim came from our argument after I linked various articles of autistic children being killed by their parents and receiving sympathy for it as part of evidence of ableism being real. In other words, not just a strawman of what I said but a complete lie. That and the frequent use of autistic as an insult and casually suggesting euthanasia as a treatment for “autists” being constantly brayed by the people who’ve created and perpetuated these lies should really be all the proof anyone needs as to their veracity.

The claim I kill cats comes from intentional misreading and outright lies about pasts posts I have made regarding the death of my animals. The posts gathered have spanned at least 3 or 4 years and are often presented out of order or under the impression that they’ve all happened within the same span of months. Another thing to understand: these posts were made while I was living with my parents still and didn’t have a job. The posts presented do talk about cats dying, but “in horrible, avoidable ways” can be a stretch, considering some of them are just that the cats disappeared, and others died as a result of illnesses and issues that either came suddenly or that we’d been trying to fight for a long time. For example, a post taken as proof of me killing my cats and “feeling nothing about it” was a post I had written after we had put Crookie down about how upset I was that she had died and that this had happened. This was taken as me trying to garner pity for an animal I purposely and cruelly murdered and put all the focus on how hard it was to be me. We had Crookie for several years, and while she was young she was hit by a car and suffered spinal damage, and this ended up being why she had to be euthanized; I don’t quite remember what it was that was specifically wrong, but the vet told us that frequently it is missed and while the cat seems to improve, it will eventually begin to decline up to and including total pelvic shutdown, which Crookie was getting near to. It was horrible to witness her climbing trees but then in a few months unable to support her hind end, because we had been fooled into thinking she was going to be okay. It’s such a specific condition that it is rarely seen or checked for; there was no plausible way for us to have seen it coming. That’s why she died. It wasn’t instant, she wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a decision made on the fly, and you bet your ass I fucking cared about it and bawled for days on end about it. Crookie was incredibly special and a fucking gift to this earth, I didn’t want her to die and I damned well wasn’t fucking ready for it. Could she have not been hit by a car? Yeah. Yeah she should have been inside. But it wasn’t in my fucking power; it wasn’t my house. I had no control over that shit. That’s your answer to every “why weren’t they inside” and “why didn’t you bring them in” - because I wasn’t allowed to! And no, I also didn’t have the personal finances at the time to take anyone to a vet, not even to be fixed. My parents are fucking awful about this and ever since I have moved out I have been the one taking these animals to the vet even though I don’t live with them anymore, and I’m frequently berated by them about how much money I “waste” while doing this. And that’s how a lot of the “evidence” for this claim is. They take posts out of context of their time and my place, line them up together, and say I personally and intentionally killed a million cats in a month. They said I killed a kitten, because it crawled under my brother’s jeep hood and got its neck broken. Because he kept driving into the yard after we had repeatedly told him not to, and never checked his vehicle before starting it, because he quite fucking frankly doesn’t and never cared. They said I murdered it, and that I was abusive and evil because I made a post about it - about the horror of fucking witnessing a literal fucking baby struggling and dying in fear and panic right before your fucking eyes and not knowing what to do and how awfully it fucks with your head, with your life, to be in that position. They said I killed a kitten I raced to the emergency room because my parents called at midnight saying he couldn’t breathe, that I dropped 600 dollars down without question for the surgery that could save him, that he fucking died in anyway, that they called me at 3 in the morning and told me he didn’t fucking survive. My parents said I wasted my money, that I should have told them not to even try. And they said I purposely put kittens in a tree - intentionally stripping the context of how that’s where they were born, and that we stopped trying to take them down because the mother kept taking them back up there and we were afraid she’d fucking drop them. They also claimed that this cat from posts 3 years prior, that I had while living with my parents and that had been adopted to another family, was the cat I was raising funds for and thus I was scamming people. The cat I raised funds for was a black “male”, she was an orange mother cat, and again there’s 3 years and two locations between those posts - there’s no way to confuse the two, but there is if you’re desperate to smear someone as psychotic animal murderer because you know they’re sensitive to cat death! Basically, they twist my posts of me mourning my beloved pets as being “woe is me give me money” posts, and spread the rumour that I just let these things happen.

When I posted the “shitty artist” list, like every time this kind of post is made, it was reduced and watered down to make out like the OP is a radical hater who wants everything censored, and so I was called anti-kink, anti-porn, and anti-nsfw because of my pointing out the problems with these artists that of which some were porn artists. Which when it came to those it was generally the issue of pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, rape, fetishization especially of trans people, the usage of transphobic/intersexist slurs (like f*ta), and other really nasty shit. As a result a lot of my nsfw work is used as an “aha!” for why I’m stupid, a hypocrite, and a disgusting creep. It’s really hilarious to try to drag me for being openly sexual, while also calling me these things. So am I a slut or a prude? Whichever works to whip up the crowd, I guess. And of course, dragging me for the same things they praise and defend in others. But no, I’m not anti any of those things. I have had “kink positive” as a descriptor for a long, long while. I think the peak of funny when it comes to these claims is when anonymous people tried to warn one of my friends and fave kink artists about me, about how I was a kink-shamer and swerf/radfem and they should be careful. But yeah basically these kinds of claims are from people who think “you can draw porn just don’t use slurs” and “this person is a pedophile/rapist/animal rapist” are kink-shaming.

The anti-choice thing is from a particular shitty little brat who is fucking furiously obsessed with me because I told them they’re not my friend and I don’t like them or want anything to do with because they are anti-choice. I kept explaining how and why they are anti-choice, but they prefer to lie and say I called them anti-choice because I don’t think people should have babies. They’ve taken this lie and ran with it, including posting about it on the submissions/pages of other anti-choicers and linking me so that they’ll attack me. If I even still used the word, I’d say they’re the definition of butthurt. They may also be the reason for the idea that I get pregnant just to have abortions, or at least spread it themself.

The “rape fanfics” crap started over To Violate. To Violate was a story I was writing about Candler’s background (spoiler alert? haha) and, yes, it involved rape. Because the story was about how he became a the person he is, which included that he was sexually abused and later sexually abusive himself. Actually the main idea behind it was that he and Zed have both been sexually abused, but each reacted radically differently to it, and I guess the ultimate goal was to write this and Zed’s history down and basically show how we can react in our own unique ways to the trauma we experience. I’ve removed it myself (it has never been deleted from anywhere else otherwise) from the places I had it posted due to the fact it was way, way too ambitious of a project for me (for now) and was just downright written badly. Like, really badly. And I’ve since significantly changed Candler’s backstory… But it wasn’t a “fanfic” for rape - detailing sexual abuse and pedophilia and how it screws you up isn’t exactly what I would call a “fanfic”.

I haven’t smoked weed in a long, long time, and at no point did I ever say I hated it. What I DID say was that it was exhausting - because I’m very intolerant of smoke, so a hacking fit to the point of seeing stars or going temporarily blind was always guaranteed. As for not getting a job, that was when I lived with my parents, and never have I asked for money while living with them; my asking for financial help is relatively new (within the last 2 years at most?). I don’t like alcohol. I can drink here and there, but only wine coolers or Mike’s Hard and other lightweight stuff. Something in particular about alcohol is incredibly vile and wretched to my taste buds. The posts brought up of me drinking/being drunk are several years old, and most of them aren’t even of me being drunk. I think I’ve only legitimately been drunk maybe twice in my life. The posts in context with them also frequently talked about how I was harassed into drinking most times, because people don’t like to hear “no” about this, but of course that was omitted when bringing this terrible sin up. Like marijuana, I haven’t had alcohol in a very long time.

So my sexuality frequently becomes a subject, as mentioned. For whatever reason, a bunch of redditors chose to read the post I made about my first sexual encounter as me being a nasty radfem tricking a poor boy into sex just to destroy him and spread that sex was bad. I really don’t have to explain why this is bullshit because if you know me you know I’m not anti-sex at all. (WNSE? lol?) This same post is often brought up to mock me for no reason because I guess the very thought of a “sjw” having sex and posting personal posts on a personal blog is laughable? I didn’t have sex “just to lose my virginity”. I have never expressed anything like that in my life. If anything, most of my life I bought into the bullshit of coveted virginity. My early sexuality is a real complicated topic, but at no point did this ever become a thing. And when I did have that first encounter, I don’t think I even had a job? So no, I wasn’t going to sleep with my sexually-harassing-coworker. I actually met him online at FetLife (wouldn’t recommend that!), I don’t remember exactly how it started but we wound up exchanging numbers and chatting and talking on the phone frequently. This shit might have been pulled out of the asses of the anti-feminists who attacked me for making a post for the former “why I need feminism” trend; the post I had made was about how I was being harassed and creeped on by a coworker, and I complained about it to my mother because this was the guy I had bummed rides off of. She was all with me about how creepy and stalkerish he was being, up until she realized I was talking about someone my age rather than someone her age, and then she did a complete 180 and started yelling at me for “being so antisocial” for thinking this was shitty behaviour. The reason I said I needed feminism was because my mother and family thought this behaviour is acceptable as long as it’s from someone my age, and anti-feminists leaped on the post saying I was calling all men rapists, lying about my sexual harassment, lying about my sexual abuse and the way my parents treated it (like a joke), saying sex is bad, and etc. The rest of the shit about my sexuality is generally just for some reason finding it vile and creepy for me to even post about it on my personal blog, regardless of whether the claims are true - such as, no, I’ve never spammed anyone about my toys nor posted a million pictures of them? but even if I did so?? what?? Which again is hilarious when these are the same people decrying me for supposedly being anti-porn and anti-kink. And for the record, no, I’m not into hardcore guro. If we’re talking about gore at all I’m a real lightweight and I don’t really find it sexually exciting. I don’t find murder sexually exciting in itself either.  

“Seizure Terrorists” is the only group I’ve ever known that would come anywhere close to fitting the description of a group made to give people seizures. And that’s not at all what they do - the group is just a place for flashing images and icons. During my time on dA around the same era as the BHB, rapid flashing images were incredibly popular. Some kind of meta level offensive shit. I’ve never been a member of Seizure Terrorists and the cap that was presented as proof (well, the one I saw) is cropped and snipped so badly I don’t know why people believe it. It also only made its appearance after I asked if ST was what they were referring to (because, again, I have no idea about anything else that comes close). The only affiliation I’ve had with them is that they’ve requested some of my stamps in their group. Idk if this is still true, but on dA when you’ve got images in a group, you’ll show up on their front page regardless if you’re a member, and it will say something like contributor or something?? Anyway, that’s how they got that cap, mate. Not a single person has responded to me about that.

Oh boy, the SU/UG thing. So it began a while ago before this thing in which some little truscum shit jumped on my post about how I was tired of seeing objectifying shitty genderbend art in the tag for the character Mephisto Pheles. Mind you, my personal is always set not to show up in search and I didn’t tag this post with anything relevant. In other words, this person showed up out of nowhere and started screaming at me for criticizing genderbending. They stopped replying after I asked for proof of me harassing anyone. This same person then went on to claim I had attacked and threatened their friend(s) (they kept changing the number) and several other artists over genderbend art. They were just thatmad about it. And when it came to my post about how I didn’t like the Steven Universe/Uncle Grandpa crossover, they couldn’t wait to spam tags and inboxes about how I had done this and was also now doing it to Uncle Grandpa fans and the fandom tag. Again, they stopped replying to me when I demanded they post the proof. At no point had I ever ventured into a tag. I avoid tags as much as possible. All the things I had posted were replies to reblogs of my post, or replies to messages I was being sent. I also never said anything about being triggered, or that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse. What I did say was that cartoons are important especially for children’s developing selves, as a response to people saying that cartoons don’t matter so we should just ignore the problems they present or feed into. This person and another screencapped a few of my posts which people love to run wild with as proof of this harassment, but, again, the caps are of me replying to my messages and reblogs of my posts. And also, for context: that person who posted the screencaps I’m pretty sure was one of the blogs that popped up solely to attack SU fans over this episode. In other words, was dedicated to that harassment they claimed I was committing. Both these users misgendered me multiple times, intentionally. You don’t have to just take my word for it since archive.is has it all. You know, a lot of these anti-sj types nearly piss their pants about people who lack reading comprehension, or take things out of context to vilify, including by digging up old and irrelevant “evidence”, and yet that’s what I’m constantly seeing them doing. In fact…

I have never claimed to be intersex and the “evidence” that has been used about that is the description of a stamp I made against genital cutting, talking about the fact that my mother 1. told me I should have my genitals altered because they’re “not right” and 2. told me she believes intersex children should have their genitals altered, going along with that same logic. You can even read that yourself in the links people provide about that. Again, it seems the people who explode the worst about reading comprehension and context are the people who commit this folly the most.

HHK brings back fond memories of me being a teenager. I’m 26 now. HHK was my place about 10 years ago. And no, none of us acted really well; we were all in some way definitely some pretty crappy kids. This was years before I even went with BHB, people are surprised about it? I’ve been an admin on it off and on, sure, but Heru was the creator and destroyer of HHK. Not really sure how that managed to get fucked around since it’s always been Heru. We tried a revival that wound up being deleted for unknown reasons, which was made by Wolfeinheim, not me, although I was an admin off and on with this version too. I tried to remake the third incarnation but by then we’d all gone our separate ways. As for multiple websites and forums dying, yeah, like most teens I tried to make a free forum over anything. Is that really a crime? Silver Fang Fanhouse was the only one that got anywhere, and I’d left it to the rest of the staff before I got on Tumblr. They have access to my account to make any changes they couldn’t otherwise and have had this access for a while, and of course at any time before were able to come tell me to do something. While I have left I didn’t just drop off the edge of the earth without a word or any way to contact me. This is a really reaching and weak receipt.

I am not phobic of any race and never have I lost sleep about that kind of thing? I did once make a racist post about “Arabs”, probably soon after watching Taken or some other shitty movie about kidnapping women into sex slavery. That was bad, absolutely, and I have apologized for that (which if you don’t accept that’s fine, that’s not a problem), but getting “phobia and can’t sleep” out of a single post about sex trafficking is a fucking stretch. For the record, I have always had insomnia issues up to and including night terrors, paranoia, and fear of sleeping in the dark / sleeping alone. That has shit all to do with a racist post I made and reducing my lifelong sleep problems to that is pretty fucking shitty.

I’ve made a couple posts about and answered minors about masturbation. Teaching how to masturbate or getting into details about what masturbation entails, and about sexual development in general, may be a controversial subject. In fact I would say it’s so controversial I was told my sex education project for highschoolers that featured simple pink circles showing how hymens can form and details about the myths surrounding hymens was given a lower grade for being “inappropriate”. But I’m pretty sure talking to teens about their bodies, especially how they can do things themselves and don’t need someone else to, and that there’s nothing immoral or wrong with that, isn’t grooming. But maybe that’s just me. I guess if you disagree with that you’re free to unfollow but I’m not going to feel bad about not posting purity myth level “education”.

I made a chatroom on dA but it pretty much died within 2 months. I realized I didn’t care that much. It was never banned or deleted as a punishment; if deviantART chatrooms do not have participants for a certain amount of time they’re automatically removed to save on webspace. I really don’t know where this rumour came from since I think maybe 4 people including myself ever attended that chatroom?

The single father story still exists. I just haven’t written it yet. If you read the post referenced, that’s exactly what I said - I didn’t write it, kind of lost the details, but I will some day when I remember them better. If you don’t believe me, his name is Frederik Botip and he is Zed’s best friend, he owns the organic grocery store that Zed shops at.

The age of consent claims relate to an incident with a user that stated that I and two other users had banded together as friends and sexually abused them/their friends and that one of us was using their sj blog(s) as a way to meet and subsequently abuse minors. There’s a lot of reasons why that was a bunch of crap but the post I’ve made about it is long gone thanks to my account being deleted. I’ll need to make a new post on it… But as a part of that one of their friends reblogged a post I had made about age of consent being tricky, because some places have it set ridiculously low, and the number of years between partners not exactly being the only thing to determine abuse, etc. It’s a subject I’ve covered a million times on WNSE. What happened is that person reblogged the post but took out everything but the opening sentence “Age of consent can be a tricky thing” and claiming I was making a case for child sexual abuse/pedophilia as a part of saying I tried to rape their friend. (This was also a person who said that it could never be possible for someone to rape/abuse someone older than them hence the context of my reply.) (For the record because I know the above is potential worrying content, if you don’t feel comfortable with me that’s fine. I don’t expect you to buy everything I say especially now that the evidence is gone.)