#I am in my pink phase and I wanna put pink everywhere

[bluishfrog]

Memories Made

Collab with little_chimkin, read fic here

[foolforharrry]

Coachella

POV: You meet Harry Styles at Coachella

This is the first chapter of my new book called Strawberries & Memories

Here is the info/chapter index for Strawberries & Memories

If you guys wanna check out my other works, here's my masterlist

I just met Harry freaking Styles.

Now, you may wonder how this wonderful, life-changing, crazy experienced happened to someone like me. And I'll get to that in just a minute.

But first I'm going to tell you one thing. My throat fucking hurts.

- 4.5 hours earlier –

"He'll be on soon, right?", Dom elbows me to get my attention.

Ouch.

I put my phone back in my wine-red, leather pocket, ignoring the sweat making my hands clammy with nerves and the nervous excitement making my chest tingle as well as the slight annoyance towards Dom. The elbow was a little too much "I think so."

"You're totally freaking out, babe." "I am not.", I argue, scowling at him for calling me out.

Of course, I'm freaking out. It's him. Who on earth wouldn't be buzzing with excitement? We haven't been standing around here sweating our butts off for me not to be excited.

There is actually no feeling I can properly compare to being surrounded by hundreds upon hundred people who are all here for the same reason I am. No matter the different lives and stories, there is one thing we all have in common.

Dom pinches my side, looping his arm around my waist before he leans in to whisper in my ear, "You don't think he is going to spot you and call you backstage to fuck you, do you?" The mocking tone of his voice has me rolling my eyes, squirming away from him to the best of my abilities. But the tight crowd surrounding us makes it more difficult than I anticipated.

"Shut up, will you?" I don't have the patience for him to be making fun of my 17-year-old self and her fanfiction phase. "I regret ever telling you about that."

I can practically hear the smirk when he pulls my body back to his side, "If you don't go home with him, there is always room for you in my bed."

"You wish you were that lucky, don't you?", I remove his hand from my waist firmly by his wrist, patting his pale cheek condescendingly.

He doesn't get the chance to cover up the disappointed look on his face. Because as he opens his thin lips to do just that, the lights go out and the angel-like sound of the intro has over one hundred thousand people yelling and cheering in pure excitement.

Myself included.

My ears are ringing with a combination of the insane, deafening volume of everyone around me and the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

But I swear my heart stills in my chest and the world stops spinning when his face is suddenly on the big screen and his voice is booming through the speakers.

"We're going for it! Are you ready!"

I'm not sure whether I'm alive right now or in heaven.

I think heaven might be more realistic seeing as a literal angel is making his way down the catwalk. Pink leather pants hug his long legs perfectly. The cheeky H S on his ass still has me pinching myself as well as the strawberries on the front of the pink vest.

I can barely spot him from where I'm standing, so I am thanking whoever invented TVs for the massive screens with him splayed out all over them.

The intro to what I'm assuming is Kiwi has a chill running down my spine. The drums and guitars feel like something simply out of this world.

It feels like they're tapping into something powerful and compelling. In a way that you can't do anything but just try to absorb it the best you can.

Never mind that he is punching the air, holding a water bottle in one hand as he waits for his cue to throw the water it holds at. Spinning in circles as he lets himself get lost in it all again.

"This is so cool.", Dom exclaims excitedly. But I don't even turn to look at him, too enthralled by the literal rock star getting ready to soak the crowd. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion as the water is being thrown. The droplets fly everywhere on the beat before the bottle follows.

It's the most surreal feeling bubbling in my stomach watching him like this. In real time. To literally be able to feel the music reverberate through my body. The vibrations in my chest from the deafening bass. This is literally a dream come-

"Ow! What the fuck?"

A sharp throb shoots through my forehead out of nowhere. My hand flies up to hold the painful spot underneath my bangs, something hard dropping on my shoe. I can feel tears starting to form along my waterlines.

That shit fucking hurts.

I manage to squeeze myself down to a crouch, cursing under my breath when I start.

Dom taps my shoulder, and I meet his eye seeing the concern evident in his. So I give him a small smile in hope it reassures him that I'm fine. It does the trick when he goes back to screaming and watching the show.

What the fuck was that?

I would have assumed it was someone's elbow or something apart from the fact that it was something small and hard. And it was fast.

There was no way I could've seen it coming.

Thankfully the dizziness subsides pretty quickly. I scan the ground for the culprit responsible, spotting it almost instantly. Something small and made out of some sort of metal is reflecting the lights by my feet.

I pick it up before standing upright again, thanking the girl who takes a step to the side to give me enough room to do so just as the song actually starts and realisation slaps me in the face.

"She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes..."

I have seen this before.

"This is fucking insane! Anna! Why aren't you freaking out?"

I snap my head in Dom's direction, "Huh?" He rolls his eyes playfully, "You're being weirdly calm for someone who just saw Harry Styles leave the stage."

"Oh."

People dressed in bold colours and feather boas are bumping into me as they all start leaving now that the artists they came here for are done with their set.

I should probably join them. Leave now before the traffic gets too bad and all the cabs and taxis are gone.

But all I can think about is the fact that I am holding Harry Styles' ring clutched tightly in my fist and I don't know how to return it to him. The hard edges of the Lion shaped jewellery dig into my soft skin because of how tightly I'm squeezing it.

"I have his ring.", is all I can breathe out. It's what's been bouncing around in my mind ever since I picked it off the ground. I couldn't even take in the last two songs he performed.

Dom's eyes widen in surprise as his mouth drops. "You- his ring?", he points at the stage with crew members milling around and taking the set-up apart. "Are you saying you have Harry Styles' ring?"

I swallow hard and nod.

"Oh. My. God." Dom grabs my shoulders in his large hands, shaking me with every word, "Bitch! You know what this means right? You can sell this on eBay or something and get rich! Or you can get famous on it! This is huge!"

It takes me a second to let his words sink in. But when they do, I shake his hands off me, aware of the disgusted look plastered on my face.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Dom?" I take a step back, not wanting to have him near my personal space anymore. Unintentionally holding onto the ring a little tighter. I cut him off when he goes to defend himself, "No, Dom. Don't even try to tell me I'm being dramatic. He is a person who lost something valuable. I'm not going to fucking steal his ring. Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"He's rich. It's not as if he can't afford to buy a new one."

I can't even believe my own ears. And so instead of entertaining this conversation any further, I turn on my heel and walk against the stream of people still trying to leave grumbling to myself, "Buy a new one? Why don't you just buy a new dick after I cut it off?"

Now how the fuck do I do this?

"Just wait right here and I'll be back in a few minutes, yeah?" "Don't you want-"

I stop mid-sentence when I realise he's not going to be able to hear me considering he's already jogging down the hallway.

If I thought I was nervous before, that's nothing compared to the nerves wracking through my body right now making my head spin.

Where the fuck did Jeff run off to? He didn't even take Harry's ring with him. Maybe he lost his mind or something?

After I left Dom alone, which might have been a little bit mean if I'm honest. But so is suggesting what he did. Who even does that? It was not very treat people with kindness of him. He was also starting to creep me out a little bit.

Anyways, after leaving him there I must have asked just about 15 different people how the fuck to return the ring or who I could talk to before someone could actually point me in the direction of his manager.

I didn't want to just leave the ring. With some random crew member. They may very well have just kept it to themselves the same way Dom suggested I do.

There is a slight chance I'm overthinking this.

I was honestly shocked when Jeff actually took the time to talk to me and listen to what I had to say. Especially when he didn't snatch the lion ring out of my hand without even looking at me twice.

But instead, he brought my hand open hand up to his face so he could inspect it closer before he thanked me profusely for finding him. He then told me to just wait right here and not move.

I look down at myself. The high-waisted red, leather pants that hug my body tightly before flaring out at the bottom may not have been the best choice of clothing for the hot weather. But they made me feel confident enough in myself to wear the black, glittery bralette I've had laying around in my closet forever. I didn't put on the black, knitted cardigan I brought until a few minutes ago.

It was way too warm to wear it earlier. People seriously don't joke when they talk about how hot it gets in massive crowds.

Cutting my hair short for this might be one of the smartest choices I've ever made.

"Let's go."

I'm snapped out of my head when Jeff speaks, standing in front of me with a smile plastered on his face. "Go where?"

Jeff starts walking back in the same direction he jogged towards earlier, leaving me no choice but to trail after him as I adjust the strap of my tote bag on my shoulder. He answers my question, making me stop in my tracks. "He wants to thank you in person."

And that's when my heart starts beating harder in my chest. It can't be. "Who?"

"Harry."

He says it like it's no big deal. Like it's nothing.

Which it probably is to him. But I think he is forgetting that not everyone is lucky enough to meet their idols.

Does he know I'm a fan? He must've, right? I would think my 'Treat People With Kindness' tote bag would give it away.

Maybe I should throw my bag away? If he thinks I'm crazy I might cry. Although, that might happen regardless.

I can already feel myself starting to freak out the more I think about it and the further we walk. I will not freak out. I can't freak out. I am completely chill.

Sucking in a deep breath, I force back my tears and catch so I can quickly catch up with Jeff just as he stops outside a plain door with a piece of paper hung on it.

A piece of paper with a name I've read so many times written on it.

Oh. My. God.

Someone should give me an award for being able to keep my breathing almost steady. At least I'm not hyperventilating. Or on the floor sobbing when Jeff knocks on the door. Normally I wouldn't have ruled out the potential need for an inhaler.

That's a fucking achievement if I've ever known of one.

"One second."

The words are muffled, but I recognize that voice through the wall. There is actually no way this isn't a dream.

Shoot me now.

One second later the door swings open. The fucking door opens and I am praying internally to whatever God there is that I don't faint. Looking at my shoes is the best way to make sure that doesn't happen.

So looking at my shoes is what I do. It would be pretty embarrassing if I passed out in front of Harry Styles.

Sadly, I don't get to distract myself very long with the barely visible little scratch on the top of my right boot when a hand is blocking my view.

I look from the outstretched hand to the face of the person it belongs to, my eyes trailing along the length of his arm and over his shoulder before settling on his eyes. His eyes that are looking right at me.

Am I the only one getting dizzy?

I blink. Hard. To make sure I'm not hallucinating before I raise my trembling hand to shake his. My heart is hammering so hard inside my ribcage that I'm convinced he would be able to hear it beating if he tried hard enough.

"Hi. I'm Harry.", he introduces himself, happily shaking my clammy hand.

It should be illegal to look that good and act this normal. But nevertheless, I offer him a small smile, "I'm Anna." Again. Everyone praise me and how fucking steady my voice is. "Where did Jeff go?"

"I told him to go home to his wife." Harry lets go of my hand, stuffing it in the pockets of his grey sweats. As he blows out a chunk of air as if he was nervous.

I get a little distracted just looking at him for a minute. I don't know why I would've thought he'd look completely different when he's right in front of me, but he doesn't. He just looks ten times prettier than any camera lens would ever be able to capture.

I honestly don't know how long I was just staring at him like a creep, but when he scratches the back of his neck I realise that he probably just wants his ring back and doesn't need a 24-year-old anybody gawking at him forever. I turn my palm up with the ring in the middle, holding it out for Harry to take. "Here's your ring. I'm sorry if it's a lil sweaty. It was warm. And I held it pretty tight so I wouldn't-"

My rambling dies in my throat when Harry carefully takes the ring out of my palm, his fingertips brushing against my skin before he slides the ring back on his pinkie finger where it belongs. His broad shoulders sag in relief when he does.

"Can I hug you?"

I feel my face screw up in confusion, and Harry notices. "If you're comfortable, can I give you a hug?"

Is the sun hot?

Not really knowing what else to say, I nod, awkwardly holding my arms out for him. He chuckles shaking his head before he loops his arms around my back tightly, bending down to make up for the height difference. I hug him back trying to match the strength he uses.

I need to work out more.

My nose is immediately filled with...him. As of right now the only distinct smell I can make out is something soapy. With a tinge of vanilla. It would probably cost more than my apartment. But I can't help but find it just as comforting as the warmth his body expels.

That might be in my head though.

I don't know how long we stand here, swaying back and forth ever so slightly, but I'm sure as hell not moving.

I can hear his steady heart beating in his chest and it makes me unable to wipe the disgustingly wide smile off my face. Harry Styles is hugging me.

"Thank you so much, Anna.", he says genuinely. "I don't know how the hell you found it. Or why you didn't keep it."

He pulls away slights, keeping his hands on my upper arms while keeping eye contact. I have to crane my neck to be able to keep it up.

God, his eyes are beautiful.

"I know a lot of people would've. Either to sell it or whatever assuming I would just buy myself a new one. Or that it didn't have some kind of sentimental value. Which for the record, it does. But you gave it back. It means far more than I can ever tell you." My heart breaks a little when he talks because I know it's true. Dom proved that when I told him I had the ring and his first suggestion was to sell it on eBay.

I don't really know what to say, genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. It's making it really hard not to start crying like a crazed woman. His accent is also making my head spin, so all I say is; "You're welcome."

A beat of silence passes before he pulls me in for another hug. "I don't know how to ever pay you back."

I laugh, jokingly suggesting, "Follow me on Instagram and we're even."

When I feel his shoulders tense for a second, I instantly want to snatch the words from the universe and shove them back down my throat and pretend they never existed. I probably offended him. It was just supposed to be a stupid joke.

When he once again takes a step back, I am certain he is going to have me arrested or something, but instead, he fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me with a cheeky smile on his lips after unlocking it.

I stare at the search bar on his Instagram in shock. My eyes flick down to his profile picture in the bottom right corner before I swallow hard. That's not the profile picture for @harrystyles.

I've looked at @harrystyles' profile picture. A few times.

I gather myself quickly, quirking an eyebrow at him, "Harry Styles has a finsta? Never would've guessed."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Where else would I put all my nudes?"

I cackle, slapping my hand over my mouth in embarrassment immediately as blush spreads on my cheeks.

But nevertheless, I find my account and hand the phone back to him.

"And here I thought you'd have a burner account for sugar daddies."

"I met Harry Styles. Did you know that?", I tell the taxi driver for the 4th time. I forgot his name, but in my head, I've been calling him Pierce. "He also hugged me. More than once. Plural."

He told me his name 15 minutes ago, so I don't want to ask again and make him feel like I didn't listen. But I'll settle on naming him for the collection of piercings he wears.

How a person would willingly have a needle put into their face that many times, I don't understand.

I don't really expect an answer considering he's kind of the silent type. From what I've observed at least. So I'm surprised when Pierce gives me a response, "Oh?" I'm not even offended by the fact that he didn't even look at me through the rear-view mirror.

I take that as an invitation.

So I tell him all about how I had a ring hit me and then realised it was Harry's. I tell him about my struggle to get the ring back to him and how that lead to Harry Styles being right in front of me and talking to me. I tell him how Harry smells even better in person than I could've ever imagined.

I tell him how Harry and I actually talked for a while before he invited me to go out for drinks to celebrate. I lastly tell him about how I had declined because I didn't want to intrude. He had looked a little disappointed but said he understood.

It might sound like I'm bragging. I promise I'm not. This is just me processing to the poor man who got stuck driving me back to my hotel. But there is one thing I don't tell him.

I don't tell him about how Harry Styles now follows me on Instagram. From his secret, private Instagram. And I don't tell him about how I just got a notification about a message request from him.

I do squeal though. Like a freaking teenage girl.

Props to Pierce. He didn't even flinch. In fact. His face has been emotionless throughout my whole storytime.

Ok. Not everyone is an enthusiastic listener.

He nods at my outburst. "Cool."

Hey. That's a response, right?

I'm about to ask him about how his day has been when it dawns on me that I haven't really been including him in the conversation. However, just as I'm opening my mouth he pulls the car over, telling me we're here.

I thank him for the ride and pay for the ride before I practically run through the lobby. All I can think about on the elevator ride to my floor is that I have a DM from him waiting for me. My phone might as well be burning a hole in my pocket.

He might just be texting to ask me to never ever speak a word about him to anyone ever. If that's it, then I'll pretend that Pierce never existed.

That wouldn't be mean right? I mean, I couldn't really call him and ask him to never mention a word about what I told him in his cab or anything. Considering I forgot his name the minute he told me about it. Not that I think he really cared about any of it.

The second I'm inside the hotel room, I'm kicking off my boots, groaning when my feet are finally free and allowed to breathe after being trapped in those things the whole day. Quite literally.

How people walk around like this in heels, I am never going to understand.

When my phone vibrates in my back pocket again, I panic, tripping over my own feet in my hurry to get it out of my pocket, barely managing to catch myself on the nightstand in this tiny, musty hotel room.

Fuck tight leather pants.

My heart is once again hammering in my chest. But for very different reasons since my life damn near flashing before my eyes.

If this keeps happening, my heart is probably going to pack her bags and give out way before I turn 30. I couldn't really blame it. I hate physical exercise too.

I hold my phone to my chest, sucking in deep breaths to calm myself down again before I sit down on the bed. The mattress creaks under my weight when I do, and I am internally cursing myself for cheaping out on the hotel room.

Right now, I kind of wish I would have taken Dom up on that offer of his. He did not cheap out.

I'd just steal the bed. He could've slept on the floor or couch. But since I walked away from him after he was a complete ass of a human being it's a little too late for that.

I can't be frustrated with Dom right now. Not when my phone vibrates for the third time.

This is going to be a long night.

-

Chapter 2

[allegra-writes]

Bratty b****

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Dom!Peter, Smut.

The request:

Hi love your writing and have never made a request but here goes. Tony’s daughter is going through a rebellious phase, going out to parties and getting to the Tower at all hours of the night. Punishments don’t seem to be getting through to her at all and everyone’s at their wits end. Insert dom!Peter finding her at a party and bringing her back home to lay down the law if you know what i mean…

Also, for all of you the anons that wanted new Dom!Peter and SSC talks.

MY MASTERLIST

“Are you out of your fucking mind, Parker? Put me the fuck down right NOW!”

Peter complied, letting go of you so suddenly you ended in a heap on the floor. The indignant look you threw his way reminded him of an angry kitten, and he had to suppress a smile. Even drunk and disheveled you were god damn adorable. And that was part of the problem: you had everyone wrapped around your finger, and were perfectly aware of it. 

No wonder you weren’t afraid of any punishment, none of them ever stuck long enough for you to regret your actions, consequences always swept under the rug before they could sully you or your reputation. Even the press, so merciless with lower socialites, was so happy to have the Stark heiress back, that every new misadventure was portrayed in an indulgent light, words like “enfant terrible”, “little hellion” or “New York’s favorite troublemaker” decorating headlines everywhere he turned.

But that ended tonight. 

He watched you stand up, fixing your way-too-short-dress so it would cover the top of your thighs, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. 

“Where are we?”

“My apartment” Peter replied, simply. You knew the penthouse was just on the next floor, but there, in that darkened kitchen alone with him, it seemed incredibly far. You hadn’t been alone with him since Titan, and you didn’t quite know how to deal with this Peter, so different from the awkward, wide eyed boy who used to trail behind you like a puppy. This grown up, confident Peter that was older than you, that had been an Avenger for six years, intimidating enough to clear a party all by himself, without needing his Spider-man persona.

But then again, you didn’t know how to deal with much of anything these days. Going to sleep in 2018 and waking up in 2023 would do that to you. 

“Why did you bring me to your apartment?” Your voice came out a little unsteady, as you tried to get a grip on your heart, beating wildly inside your chest, tried to squash that little sliver of hope down before it managed to cut you and bleed you dry. Because you knew what you wanted from Peter was something you could never have. And it wasn’t just cause of that awesome girlfriend of his. 

He leaned casually on the kitchen island, arms crossed in front of his chest and you couldn’t help but notice how solid and powerful they looked clad in black leather.

“To have a little talk” he met your eyes, concern clear in his, “about your behavior…”

Your stomach drop with the weight of a thousand dead butterflies. Of course. This was an intervention. He was being big brother Peter, that was how he saw you, a little sister, just like Morgan, another Starkling for him to guide, to nurture and protect.

And maybe your own little sister preferred his bedtime stories over yours. Maybe your own father called him son, and your -technically step- mother sent him to chaperone you whenever you went out to party, but he was never ever going to be your brother. 

“And exactly who do you think you are to have a talk with me?” You sneered, voice like sugar venom, sweet and cruel. Lethal. “You are no one, you’re not my boyfriend, you’re not my friend, and I know you like to pretend you’re a Stark, but you are not my brother. You are nothing.”

You watched the air get knocked out of his lungs, as if your words had physically hit him as they hit their mark. Satisfied with the stunned, devastated look on his face, you turned to leave. But only made it a couple of steps before feeling his fingers wrap around your wrist in a vice like grip, spinning you around and pulling you to him.

You stumbled, falling against his chest, and he kept you there, arm snaking around your back, pressing you close. Dangerously close. 

“And you” he whispered, nose pressed against your cheek, breath hot against your face. You realized you weren’t the only one that had been drinking. “are a bratty little bitch. You think I wanna be any of those things? That I’d be satisfied with any of those things?“ 

His fingers dug deeper into your skin, and you cried out, finally reacting.

"Parker, let me go, your hurting me!” You struggled in his grasp, but he was way too strong. 

“You mean more than you’ve been hurting yourself? Hanging out with those losers” He spat, shaking you a little, “Day drinking? Sneaking out every night? Have you any idea how worried Pepper was when she called?" 

"Peter, you’re scaring me!”

“Good!” He replied, shaking you harder, “It’s about fucking time you learn that your actions have consequences" 

He manhandled you until you were trapped between him and the kitchen island. A firm push against the square of your shoulders had you bent over it, face against the cold marble, as he took both of your wrists in one hand and pinned them against your back, his other hand traveling under your dress. He kicked your legs open, placing a knee between yours so you couldn’t close them back up.

"What the fuck are you doing you sick fuck?!”

“I’m thinking eighteen slaps” He commented casually, ignoring your insult, “one for every night you sneaked out this month, and you are going to count them”

You renovated your struggle as he pushed your dress up, exposing your ass, but he leaned over your back, trapping you under his weight. 

“Wanna know who I am, little girl?” He breathed against your ear, sending shivers down your spine “I’m your master.”

SLAP.

You cried out. There was strength behind the hit, the sting lasting long after his hand was gone.

“One” he said and you remembered his words, he wanted you to count the slaps, but your brain was in shambles 

SLAP.

“One” He repeated, “You better start counting or they’ll be a lot more than eighteen…”

SMACK.

“One…”

“FINE!” You yelled, finally finding your voice, “Fine, I’ll count them you sick bastard! That’s three!”

“I should make them twenty just for that" 

"Fuck you!”

SLAP.

The sound that left your throat when his open palm struck just between your legs was not one of pain. You cursed under your breath, there was no way he could have missed that moan.

“What was that, princess?”

“F-four”

He chuckled, and you felt him get off of you. But with your wrists still in his grasp, there wasn’t much you could do, he had super strength after all. You were quite literally at his mercy. 

The thought should not have been so hot.

“I was actually talking about this” He traced his fingertips over your lace covered slit, tearing another moan from your lips. “Such a pretty sound” He hummed, approvingly, “I want more…”

He used his thumb to tug your underwear to the side, dipping one long, talented finger into you. It slid inside easily, so easily… it was embarrassing how wet, how ready for it you were. Peter wanted nothing more than to sink himself in your cunt, to get lost into your tight, pink, velvety soft insides. But where was the lesson in that? What kind of message would he be sending you if he too failed to deliver the promised punishment? Fourteen slaps, that was all. Fourteen more hits and then he could have you. This was for your own good.

He took his finger out. 

SMACK.

“Fi-ve” You whimpered. That one had really hurt. His hand came down against your other cheek just as hard. 

“Six”

Another one, and his finger was back inside your pussy, this time with a companion, pumping in and out, making it difficult to speak, but you managed to stutter a breathy “Seven”

It wasn’t until the next slap hit the soft flesh where your your thigh met the curve of your ass with his fingers still thrusting into you that you realized he had released your hands. But by then you were a moaning, wanting mess on the counter, a willing accomplice more than a prisoner, dutifully keeping count,

“Eight”

Slaps nine and ten came with him three fingers deep in your heat, pinky sloppily rubbing circles on your clit. You were close, just one more thrust, one more slap, one more dirty word in your ear and you would be coming. How stupid of you to believe he was actually going to let you.

“Noooo” You couldn’t help the pathetic whine that left your mouth when his fingers left you, your walls clenching pitifully around nothing. Your own hand went for your mound, desperate for release, but he caught it, pinning it to your back again. 

“I don’t think so, little girl,” He chastised you, “your punishment isn’t over yet…”

You had eight more slaps left. You could do it, you could take it.

…Couldn’t you?

He let go of your wrist and you felt him shift behind you. A moment passed, then another one. You had started to turn to see where he had gone when you felt it: the soft caress of cold lips against your burning backside. 

“Is this better, baby girl?” He inquired, placing glacial kisses and licks on the reddened, sore skin. “You like this?”

“Yes…" 

"Yes, what?" 

"Yes… sir?”

SLAP.

“Eleven. Yes, dom?”

SLAP.

“YES, DADDY!”

Peter froze. He was actually going for ‘master’. Mister Stark, Tony, he was your father. But more than that, you were his daughter, his precious baby. Asking to be called that while he fucked you would the lowest betrayal, Peter knew that. It would be defiling that title forever, making you think of Peter and the filthy things he did to you whenever you called your dad by it. It was wrong. It was perverted. 

And Peter wanted it. 

More than food, more than water, more than oxygen, he wanted it, he wanted you for himself, with a hunger, with a greed that scared even him. He. Wanted. You.

And he was going to have you. He licked a long stripe up your pussy. Cold, so cold it made you shiver. 

“Say it again, baby girl" 

"Daddy”

“Again” his order was muffled, face buried against your cunt, devouring you. 

“Daddy!" 

SLAP.

He placed another ice cube on his mouth, only to push it into your cunt making you scream, tongue fucking you with superhuman skill. The contrasting temperatures of the ice and his mouth against your molten insides were too much. You were sobbing, shameless and desperate, bucking your hips back against his face, the familiar tension building up, and up. Your toes already starting to curl… and then he was gone. 

"Yellow!” You cried. Peter was on you in an instant, turning you around and helping you stand, pushing your hair away from your face.

“Baby, are you ok? What is it?” His voice was worried, breaking character. 

“O-orgasm denial” You gasped, “wasn’t part of the deal…" 

"Shit! You’re right, I’m sorry baby, I’m so so sorry!”

Peter looked about ready to cry, so you hurried to reassure him,

“Pete, it’s ok, I’m not safewording…yet" 

He nodded his understanding, but still looked uncertain. You kissed him, sweet and soothing, but soon that absurdly talented tongue of his slipped inside your mouth, deepening the kiss, turning it into something heady, slow and dirty. You melted into it. 

A ripping sound resonated in the quiet kitchen, and you felt your dress fell off your body. Stunned, you broke the kiss, to look at the remains of your favorite garment now lying lifeless on the dark mahogany floor, and then at the smug, smirking face of your boyfriend. 

"It was in my way”

And just like that, he was all dom again, towering over you, still fully dressed while you stood, vulnerable, in just your hills and a, ruined, lacy tong, made almost completely sheer by your juices, glistening between your legs. 

He let one of his fingers dip under the lace.

“Wanna come, little girl?”

“Yes” You breathed out.

He hummed, fingertip finding your clit,

“And if I let you come,” He started the delicious, quick circular motions that he knew drove you insane, “will you be a good girl? Do as you’re told?”

You considered lying to please him, pretending to be the perfect little sub for him, but that wasn’t really you, was it? You looked him dead in the eyes, and opened your mouth.

“No”

Something snapped behind his eyes, and he growled, deep in his chest, fisting your hair, forcing your head back, bending you over backwards on the kitchen island, as his other hand made quick work of his zipper and belt.

“This what you wanted, little girl?” He entered you, hard and fast and deep, tearing a scream out of your throat, railing you into the marble, “Daddy fucking your pussy like this?”

“Yes!”

“You like taking it like this? Pretty little pussy stretched around daddy’s cock?”

“Yes!! Yes daddy, just like this!" 

He was fucking into you with such force that you slid over the cold marble with each thrust of his hips, but there was nothing for you to brace yourself on. He grabbed your thighs, hooking your knees over his elbows to keep you in place and open you wider for him, going deeper, owning places inside your pussy you didn’t know existed. The edge of the counter was biting into his thighs but he couldn’t care, not with your walls spasming around his cock, squeezing him so good that his eyes rolled back inside his skull. You were crying, little whimpers of ‘Daddy, daddy!’ and it was so blasphemous, so unholy, it made Peter’s blood boil with it, lighting running through his veins, pleasure exploding in every single nerve ending of his body, cause you were his, his and no one else’s, his claim overriding every previous one made on you. It was too much, he exploded inside you, filling you up until you were overflowing with it, the pearlescent liquid dripping down his thigh. 

And he still couldn’t stop. Like a man possessed, he kept going. And you kept on taking it. 

…

"Are you ok?”

“I should be the one asking that…”

You lifted your head to meet his eyes, staring back at you with genuine concern. Sometime during your fucking, you had managed to disvest him of his clothes and now he was as naked as you, lying on the massive couch, sated and spent, with you tucked on his chest.

“Pete, this whole thing was my idea” You reminded him, gesturing vaguely around you. The whole apartment was a mess: paintings fallen from the walls, torn clothes littering the hardwood floor, a broken coffee table… but the kitchen had taken the most damage, where Peter had managed to crack the marble on the kitchen island, and thrown away glasses and even a couple appliances in his haste for getting you on it. There even was a puddle of cold water, from where he had knocked over the glass of ice cubes he had used to tease you.

He frowned, 

“I seem to recall it was mine…”

“You said you wanted to take control” You placed a soothing kiss right above his heart, to let him know everything was alright, “I was the one who wanted the spanking. And the roleplaying. And the hair pulling…”

Peter’s smile grew bigger and bigger with every item you named. He loved it, loved that you trusted him enough to ask exactly what you wanted, loved feeling so comfortable with you as to explore everything he had been too scared to do before. He loved that with you, he was free, there was no fear of judgment, he could let go, cause he knew you wouldn’t let him fall. He loved you. 

And it was so natural, so easy as your conversations were, even before the blip, when you were four years older than him, so beautiful and unreacheable. As stealing a kiss that first night had been. He would have never thought something good could come out of Thanos, of the blip, of losing his arm and almost losing his life. But you had come visit him on his hospital bed right after the surgery, eyes full of tears and he had made a joke about every great Jedi losing his arm, and you had laughed. 

And then you had sobered up, an impossible emotion behind your eyes. Impossible, because he had only ever seen it directed at him in his wildest dreams.

“Ani, you’ve changed so much!” You had quoted.

“You haven’t changed a bit” he had replied without skipping a beat, “You’re exactly the way I remember you in my dreams”

And then he was kissing you, just like he was kissing you now, good hand on your cheek, biorobotic one slowly raising to tangle in your hair. 

“The ice play was my idea” He commented, breaking the kiss. You threw your head back, laughing.

“And a very good one at that” You approved.

“The daddy kink was a surprise…”

Your laugh died. Suddenly embarrassed, you hid your face on his chest.

“You know I’m not-… that I don’t really want to… sleep with my dad, right?”

Even with his super hearing, it was difficult to decipher your mumbling.

“What? No- I mean yes!” He stammered, “Of course I know that, babe! And you know I don’t want to… like… be him or anything…" 

You nodded, finally meeting his eyes.

"But it was kinda hot”

“Babe, it was all manners of hot” Peter confirmed, making you smile. 

“You still owe me five slaps, tho”

He groaned,

“I do, I totally forgot! God, I’m such a bad dom!”

“Of course not! You’re the hottest dom I’ve ever seen!" 

Peter snorted,

"I’m the only dom you’ve ever seen…”

“I saw Fifty Shades of Grey once…” You argued, making him laugh harder.

“Ok, ok, you win, even I am a better dom than that" 

"The edging…”

“Yeah, sorry 'bout that…”

“No no, I was actually thinking…” You felt your cheeks grow hot under his gaze. Peter was trying to appear nonchalant, but you could see the glimmer of lust in his eyes, evidently it was a serious turn on for him. “We could explore it more next time…”

His face lit up,

“Really? Thank you babe!” He caught your mouth in a heated, earnest kiss, “You won’t regret it, I’ll make so good for you…” he promised against your lips, making you moan in anticipation.

“Maybe I’ll even spare you those slaps I owe you…”

Peter didn’t miss the way your kiss falter at that, or the spark of defiance in your mischievous eyes.

“Maybe” You replied, noncommittal, releasing his lips to nibble at his jaw. He could practically see the wheels already turning in your head, planning ways to test his patience, pushing the limits just enough to guarantee a reaction, to earn yourself a new punishment. You were such a brat. 

His spoiled, gorgeous brat. 

[wrenthemoralfander]

Shapeshifting Gem.

Remile Story:

Tw: Transphobia, deadnaming, misgendering, and gender dysphoria.

Remy couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t. His family shamed him for being himself.

Two years ago, Remy had a huge gender identity crisis, and couldn’t bring himself to look in the mirror as all he saw was an unrecognizable girl in his place; a lady he didn’t know. He didn’t feel happy or comforting in dresses. Skirts were fine, but not dresses.

Very few make up items such as red lipstick, foundation, and eye shadow were nice.

He remembered his mom and dad’s reaction. At the time, Remy lived with his parents, and they loved Remy.

“Mom, Dad? I need to talk to you.” Remy said. He was nervous but was convinced he could do it.

“Yes, Renee?” His father said, smiling as he was reading a book. His mother was cooking, but she could hear her child.

“For two years, I grew to see something and It was never a choice.” He said, before he continued. “I have made a very important self discovery and it was not easy, as I kept questioning myself but I knew.”

He took a deep breath and spoke, his body starting to shake from the nervousness; he forced himself to be still.

“Mom, dad. I’m trans. If you need time to accept it, or need some time to process this, I understand.” He said.

His father closed his book, glaring daggers. “Young lady, are you fucking serious right now?!”

His mother turned off the fire, and walked over to Remy’s father. She looked at him, worry in her eyes. “Robert, honey, it’s a phase Renee is going through.”

Remy shook his head, blood was boiling. “It’s not a joke, and it’s not a phase. My name is Remy and I’m your son.”

His mother looked at him. “You’re a girl Renee. I can’t believe you, you are not trans.” Anger in her voice.

Remy argued with his parents, but they didn’t listen. His father told him to go to his room.

Since then, Remy’s life has been hell. His mother constantly dead names him, his father tells him that there are only two genders, and how trans men are not men, but how they are girls committing sins against the lord.

They forced him to wear dresses and makeup. They even went as far as to rip Remy’s trans flag and throw it away to remind Remy that he was a ‘girl.’ He cried himself to sleep, and sobbed. He was disgusting.

Remy had enough.

He packed all his things, and told his parents he was leaving. They threw a fit and told them they would call the police to return him.

“Go ahead and try.” He said, giving them the middle finger, before leaving. He ran into the forest, and ran, not caring if they were serious. He blocked their numbers, and ran until his legs could move no more.

He was exhausted but forced himself to keep going.

He found a road and walked down the road. The chances of a car hitting him was extremely low but not impossible, so Remy stayed to the side just in case.

Remy’s kept walking, exhaustion starting to roll over him and make him almost pass out when he saw a city a city he’s never seen before, as he lived in a small town.

He put his hood on and walk towards the city. When he got there he noticed that the people had magic powers. 

So this was a fantasy like city, where people used magic.… or Remy had already passed out and was dreaming. He pinched himself to be sure and sure enough, he was not dreaming.

He kept walking for a short time before his body collapsed. He felt so tired that he ended up passing out on the sidewalk.

When he woke up, he was in a bed.

He was unsure why but he saw his bag propped on a chair so he knew he wasn’t at his parents house. He knew because the chair looked way too nice to be his parents.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” A voice said, the voice sounded sweet, and friendly.

“Morning. I slept good.” He said before freezing. The voice was coming from a Tiger. He jumped and screamed.

“Please don’t eat me! I don’t wanna die.”

The giant cat looked at Remy. “Relax, I’m not gonna eat you. Hold on.”

He shapeshifted into a guy. He had light brown hair, light green eyes, and the cutest smile. The guy had a pink hoodie on, some khaki pants, and some white socks.

“This better miss?” He said.

Remy looked down.

“I’m not a lady.” He said, a pit forming in his stomach.

“Oh, my apologies, I didn’t mean to assume. Let’s start over, I am Emile, the Rose Witch and a profound shapeshifter, I go by he/him. And you?”

Remy looked up and smiled. “I am Remy, I’m a trans human and I go by he/him.”

Emile frowned. “Let’s get you fixed up, hun.” He said before casting a spell. As the spell was cast, Remy’s chest flattened and brown fog spun around him before fading.

“There we go.” He said.

Remy’s eyes widen as he realize that Emile had saved him from having to pay for top or bottom surgery.

“Thank you.” He said smiling.

Emile smiled has he gave Remy some clothes, “Go get changed.”

Remy got changed and was happy.

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.

And maybe, just maybe, Remy found not only a person who excepted him, he found a witch who didn’t scare him but instead made him fall in love.

It’s been two years and seven months since he last saw his parents.

He cut contact with them, however they showed up one day. 

Remy answered the door. “Hello, can I h-”

He froze when he saw his parents.

“Renee? Where have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

He looked at them.

“First off, bitch. It’s Remy, Second off, why the hell are you here? I thought I made it perfectly clear I was not coming back.”

His father glared at him. “Don’t use that tone with us, young lady.”

Emile was in the kitchen when he heard someone say young lady. He went to the front door and saw Remy’s parents. “Coffee Bean, who are they?”

Remy wasn’t going to involve Emile, his new boyfriend. “Nobody babes, just some transphobic people I thought I knew.”

His mother grabbed Remy’s wrist, and tried to drag him. “We are your parents! You will come home at once, Renee!”

Emile pulled Remy back. “Leave us be.” He turned to Remy, “Who’s Renee?”

Remy looked at him, “…it’s my deadname.” He said, tears running down his face.

Emile comforted him.

Emile turn to Remy‘s parents, rage filling in his eyes.

“I can’t Believe you two! Remy is your son and you have the audacity, no, the nerve to deadname him. He looked up to you, he thought his parents loved him enough to accept him. You shamed for years, and now you have the audacity to come here and demand he come with you?! He’s not your property, he’s his own person, so the next word that comes out of your mouth better be ‘I’m sorry Remy.’ You two will leave, because if you don’t, I will report you to the authorities, and none of them will put up with your transphobic bullshit.”

Emile looked at Remy with a comforting smile. “Come on love, I made you a special mocha with some delicious chicken and rice.” The shapeshifter said, before taking Remy in for lunch and slamming the door.

His parents left, and Remy hasn’t heard from him since. Emile made sure to cast a spell on them, so nobody would put up with their bullshit anymore.

Oh come on, they deserved it.

As for Remy and Emile, The two were very happy together. Remy even learned how to use magic.



[spookysweet-heart]

Reshape The Past

Request: No

Fandom: Battle Egos

Parings: Battle Egos x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mention of Death

A/N: This is Part Two! Part One can be found here! This is gonna be a Julie and The Phantoms AU, with the Holloway Sisters and Battle Boys! I hope you like it! The songs featured throughout the series are by their respective bands and artists, I’ll link each song that’s featured so you all can listen along. Each song I chose has significance to the story, so I hope you pay attention to them! The collage was made by me! Edited by @semiproeagle23​

The girls looked at each other before they turned their attention to the drum set. 

“Who’s going to play the drums….” Raven spoke softly, walking towards them placing a gentle hand on one of the drums.

Marie glanced at the drums before looking back down at her notebook, feeling unsure.

Anne bit her lip nervously while clenching and unclenching her fists. “I-” Taking a deep breath in and out, she let her nerves slip away. “I’ll do it. This song doesn’t need a keyboardist anyway. I know her parts.”

Marie took Anne’s hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you sure?”

“Positive!” Anne smiled at her sisters as Raven walked towards her with Natalie’s drumsticks. 

“Our little sunshine, still brightening up the place even if we’re dead.” She playfully ruffled Anne’s hair, making her giggle.

“It’s settled, then! Let’s go get (Y/n)!” Marie was the first one to disappear with the other two following along.

Sitting at the kitchen table, you took a sip of your coffee and scrolled through your phone, seeing the pictures your mom posted of her and your younger siblings in her new house. Looking up from your phone, you saw the three women staring at you sitting at the table.

“Jesus fucking Christ! How long have you three been here?!”

“Just got here, actually. Had breakfast yet?” Anne sweetly smiled and looked around, noticing a bowl by the sink.

“Just some cereal. Why? Did you want something to eat?”

“We can’t eat.”

“Or sleep.”

“Or pick up anything that isn’t ours.”

“What?” You looked at them a little confused. 

Raven excitedly looked at you, grinning. “So last night we figured out we can pick up and play our instruments!”

“We wanna know if it’s okay if we show you a song we wrote?” Marie slid her notebook to you.

Taking the notebook, you looked through the pink and black colored pages. Reading the lyrics for a few seconds, you looked back at them, nodding. “Sure, why not. I should still have time before I have to get to class.” Sliding the book back, you stood up, putting the mug in the sink, and followed them out to the studio.

Raven pulled out a chair for you to sit on in front of them.

“Are you ready?” Anne asked you after she got comfortable behind the drums.

“Ready when you guys are. What’s the song called again?”

Raven smiled, adjusting her mic. “Candy Coated Lies!”

Marie grinned, adjusting the strap of the guitar. Counting down silently from three with her fingers, the group began to play.

Marie started feeling the excitement run through her when she started to sing. “Just about done livin' this life. Look at my face when you're talking to me, talking to me. Brought a blunt knife to a gunfight. Words and phrases lock me in cages. I'm taking my time if it's alright. Hold the world up but it's weighing on me, weighing on me. Watch it all fall from a great height. All these rats that are running races.”

Raven took over the pre-chorus. “Stay away, you push me to the edge. I need a tidal wave to drown out all the pain in me” She looked over at Marie when she joined her for the chorus.

“Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne focused as much as she could on playing the drums. It felt a little off at first, but she started to feel free with each passing beat. Raven and Marie glanced back at her when she took over the vocals. “You're killin' my vibe for the last time. Vultures up high started preying on me, preying on me. Take a step back to the broadside, 'cause I'm not as brave as I'm letting on to be. Losing my breath but I'm alive. Should have spent more time fighting for me, fighting for me. Making my way to the bright side. Is there paradise?”

The other two join in, the three of them singing the chorus. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Raven took the lead for a moment to let Marie catch her breath a little longer. “Talons digging deep down inside of me. Holding this absentee, guilty, and desperately.”

Marie closed her eyes for a second and smiled when she opened them again, seeing you look at them in awe. Giving this last round her all, you saw her grow more and more passionate about asking you to join their band. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Stay away, you push me to the edge. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. I need a tidal wave, to drown out all the pain in these, Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne dropped the drumsticks, shaking her fingers to loosen them up. Raven took off the strap of her bass and carefully put it back in its place. Marie breathed a bit heavily, but her smile never faded. “So? What’d ya think?”

Smiling, you stood up, clapping for them. “That was amazing! But is Anne okay?”

“I’m fine! Not used to playing drums is all!” She lightly waved her hand, dismissing your concern. “All good!”

Raven walked towards you with a small smile on her face. “This isn’t everything, to be honest.”

Marie gestured to the logo on the drum set. “We want you to be a part of our band!”

“(Y/n)?? Hey! Are you here?!” A voice from the other side of the door caught you four off guard. 

“Oh shit! No, I forgot my friend was coming over today to help unpack…” You looked around frantically before Raven got your attention.

“Hey, we’re ghosts, remember? They probably won’t be able to see us.”

“R-right…” Turning your attention to the door, you made your way to it, opening it.  “Erica!! Hey!”

“Hey, yourself! I was looking for you everywhere and when I made my way back here, I heard music coming from inside.” 

The girls looked at each other with wide eyes and smiles when they realized what she said. 

Erica looked around, seeing the stereo was on. “So you were just listening to music, then?”

“Yup!” 

“Seriously, you of all people need to sign up for the talent show this weekend! Your name alone could get you a deal.”

Playfully rolling your eyes, you wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “That’s exactly what I don’t want. If I want a deal with a label, I want it for my talent, not the name.”

“You never want an easy way in.”

“Nope! It takes the fun out of everything. You know I wanna work on this.”

“I’m just saying, the opportunity is there. You should take it.”

“Don’t think so. C’mon, I’ll buy you breakfast on the way to school.” Quickly waving to the girls, you closed the door behind you, leaving them alone.

Anne took a seat on the couch with Marie getting her acoustic guitar. “This is gonna be great! That girl heard us!”

“Yeah, but she can’t see us.” Raven crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at them.

“Yeah...but it’s a start. We just need (Y/n) to agree to join the band and we sign up with her for that talent show. She can maybe play it off like she recorded all the instruments while we actually play.”

Raven only shook her head. “That sounds ridiculous...but I guess anything is possible now.”

Anne looked up at Raven a little concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah...kinda. I’m just feeling overwhelmed...I think I’m gonna go for a walk or something..”

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Marie asked while putting down the guitar.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just be a while. I’ll be back later.” Raven disappeared, leaving a red mist behind.

Walking with her hands loosely behind her back, Raven looked around the huge park, seeing children playing, running around, and giggling while their parents watched over them. 

Everything seemed normal for a moment, she felt like things were okay...till someone phased right through her and she felt like reality punched her in the face again. Raven was a little dizzy, not used to people just going right through her. 

Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground with slight pain on her forehead. “Hey watch where the fuck-” Raven blinked, trying to understand what happened.

The other woman who bumped into her frantically stood up, lending Raven a hand. “I am so so sorry! I thought I’d phase right through you. I thought you were alive!”

Raven took her hand, letting the other ghost help her up. “You crashed into me...wait you thought I was alive? Does that mean you’re...dead, too?” 

The woman gave her a nod, still holding her hand. “Yeah. been dead for a while. I’m Lexi, by the way.” Looking down, still seeing their hands touching, Lexi quickly took hers back, feeling a little embarrassed. “I- I’m sorry again, uh but can I ask you something?”

“I’m Raven, and uh sure I guess…” 

“Are you new to the whole dead thing?” Lexi adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

“What gave it away?” Raven playfully rolled her eyes at the question, giving Lexi a smile to reassure her she wasn’t being mean.

“Everything, honestly.” Lexi smiled back. “You look like something’s troubling you. Wanna talk about it?”

“Are you sure you have time to listen to me?”

“Pretty sure I have some time before I meet up with a friend.” Lexi led the way to the other side of the park where no one was occupying any of the benches.

After a while of listening to Raven, Lexi nodded and looked over at her. “So now you guys don’t know where your other sister is, and this girl. (Y/n)?”

“Yeah.” 

“She can see you guys. And she’s living in your old house, and you’re sure she’s alive?”

“Also her old house, and yes, we’re sure.” Raven got quiet for a second.

“Have you tried finding what your unfinished business is?”

“My what?”

“Your unfinished business, like what you wanted to do before you died but never got the chance to.”

Raven thought for a second but shook her head. “I can’t think of anything at the moment. It’s all too much. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re new, so it’s not gonna come right away. Some of us never really find it.”

“What about you? How’d you die?” Raven looked at Lexi before immediately covering her mouth with her hand. “I- I mean you don’t have to tell me, it’s fine. I’m sorry if that’s too personal for you.”

Lexi giggled and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. You told me your story. It’s only fair that I share mine. I died with my best friend. Her name’s Kimberly and we were inseparable in life, so it made sense even after death we’d still be with each other. We’d joke about that kinda thing, so when it happened we freaked out. We were walking home from getting dinner one night since the place was just a block away from our apartment. We didn’t see it coming at all. Someone was being robbed and we got caught in the crossfire. We got shot cause the person who was running away wasn’t looking where they were shooting.”

Raven took Lexi’s hand in hers, squeezing it. “I’m so sorry, oh my god, that’s horrible.”

Lexi smiled softly. “It’s alright. What’s done is done, right?”

“Lexi!!! Dude we’re gonna be late!” Someone shouted from across the field, waving and trying to get Lexi’s attention.

“Is that your friend?” Raven let go of her hand, feeling a little disappointed.

“Ah yeah, that’s her. I gotta go, but I’ll see you around, Raven.” Lexi stood up, stretching her arms a bit.

“Uh, w-would it be alright if we meet up tomorrow?” Raven quickly stood up, looking down at Lexi, hoping she’d say yes.

“Tomorrow? I should be able to meet up for sure. When and where?”

“Tomorrow morning, here? If that’s okay.”

“That’s completely fine. See ya then!” Lexi disappeared for a second. When Raven looked up, she saw her across the field.

“Who was that?” Kimberly grins over at Lexi, curious to know of a possible new friend.

“Newly dead, her name’s Raven..”

“Pretty name. Just her?”

Lexi shakes her head. “She has two sisters, she was just feeling lost.”

“I remember that feeling…”

“Yeah...So it’s almost showtime for you isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but you know I get worried…”

“I’m not passing through or whatever. Besides, why would I ever miss a friend's show? You know I can’t.” Lexi smiled as they both disappeared.

Standing in front of the red velvet rope, they showed the guard their IDs. Being let in, they walked through the huge lobby, making their way to the staircase leading downstairs.

“There she is!”

“Here I am! What’s up Bones?” Kimberly gave him her best puppy eyes she could.

“Nope, not gonna work this time. We have ten minutes till curtains up and you were almost a no show.”

“Chill, I was out for a walk. I needed to clear my head a bit. I’m sorry.”

“Change, please.” Bones pointed to the costume on the rack. 

With a snap of her fingers, she changed into the costume her boss designed. “Done.”

“There you two are! Has the boss seen you yet?” Natpai almost rushed into the group.

“Not yet. Is he mad?” Lexi asked, but a shiver ran down her spine when she felt someone standing behind her. Turning around, she saw the owner of the club.

“Mad? No. Irritated? Definitely…” 

“Phantom! I- I mean sir it was my fault. I went out for a walk, and we lost track of time! It won’t happen again.”

Phantom’s eyes glow a bright red for a moment before calming down. “Of course it won’t. You wanna know why?”

They all stayed silent, not daring to say a word.

“I OWN YOU. I GAVE YOU THIS FREEDOM AND I CAN TAKE IT AWAY!”

“Y-yes, sir…”

Adjusting his tie, Phantom’s demeanor became softer. “Now, Mare’s waiting for you three on stage. Bones, Natpai, you two go on ahead.”

The two brothers nodded and gathered their things, rushing off to their places.

Phantom smiled down at the two women in front of him. “My girls,” Placing his hands on their cheeks, he gently stroked his thumb against them. “What were you two up to? You know I keep tabs on you both.” Taking his hands back he looks between the women staring at him. “I know you met someone new. Care to share anything about that?”

“Uh, um, I- I bumped into her. She’s newly dead…” Lexi looked down at her shoes, feeling intimidated. 

“Go on, sweetheart, what else?”

“She also has sisters with her....that’s all I know, sir. We only talked for a few minutes.”

“Interesting. Well, they're newly dead and they seem like ordinary ghosts. I see no reason to invite them here, yet.”

Both Kimberly and Lexi looked up at Phantom. “Invite them?”

“To see a show, of course! Isn’t that what we do here?! We put on shows not just for the living but the dead must also have a place to come and relax.” Phantom looked at his watch. “And look at that, you’re up. You, get to the stage. The band needs a singer, don't they?”

“Yes, sir!” 

“And you, they need their stage manager backstage, don’t they? Get to it!”

“Yes, sir!” Both women go their separate ways, leaving Phantom to walk over to the balcony overlooking the entertainment room. The orb on his cane glowed a dim red.

“We’ll keep an eye on those new ghosts. They might be of use…”

Back at the house, Raven popped back in to see Anne looking through their things and Marie sitting on the floor hunched over her notebook, looking frustrated. “What’s up with you?” 

“Remember the song we were working on? I’ve been trying to finish it, but I can’t figure out the chorus.” Marie frowned, not liking what she wrote.

Raven sat next to her and took the notebook, reading over the lyrics. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling.”

 “That’s where I just blank out…”

Raven looked over at Anne. “Have you tried to help?”

“Yup, I couldn’t think of anything either, so I decided to see what else of ours is in this bag.”  Pulling out a red cap, Anne tried it on.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Raven pouted, standing up and dropping the notebook back on the ground next to Marie.

“Guys, don’t make a mess here, we share the space, remember!” Marie raised her voice a little, feeling annoyed.

“Hey…are you guys still here?” You poked your head in to see an annoyed-looking Marie while Raven and Anne had a tug of war with a red cap. “I see I’m interrupting something.”

Anne let go of the cap and smiled, making Raven stumble. “You’re not!”

Raven glared at Anne, dusting off the cap so she could put it on.

“I’m glad I’m not.”  Stepping inside, you closed the door and took a seat on the couch, feeling grateful for not being on your feet for once today.

“Is something wrong?” Anne looked at you concerned.

“Hm? Oh! No, nothing's wrong, just tired from classes and unpacking so much today.”

“That’s understandable. I’m sorry you have a lot on your plate at the moment.” Anne resisted the urge to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“It’s fine. Um, but I do have one thing I wanna get off my to-do list.”

“What is it?” Raven asked as she took a seat in one of the empty chairs.

“I thought about your offer. About joining the band.” All three girls instantly looked at you, hope shining in their eyes. “It took me all day to think about not just joining, but also about signing up for the talent show. It’s a huge thing the college does 'cause it’s not just a talent show. They call it that to make it simpler, but it’s just multiple shows to see who record labels are looking for.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun, honestly.” Marie smiled, sitting up and leaning back against the coffee table.

“It is! Um, but it’s also a lot of work too. Despite that, I think I’m ready to get back into music and sign up for this thing with you guys as a band!”

“Really?!” They immediately said it at the same time, making you giggle and nod.

“Yeah! I think it’ll be a good new path for the future. Ya know, kinda like reshaping the past in a way for myself.”

Marie grinned and quickly grabbed her notebook. “(Y/n), You’re a genius!!!”

“Huh?“ Looking at the other two confused, Raven smiled softly. 

“You just helped Marie finish the chorus of a song we were working on.”

“Oh! Can I see it? If that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Marie happily handed you the notebook, excited to hear what you thought of it.

Taking your time to read through it, you nodded your head while tapping your foot against the floor. “Well, we have the lyrics. I think I have an Idea for music.”

Raven went silent for a moment before she spoke up. “I met someone today while I was on my walk.”

The three of you looked at her curiously. “Who’d you meet?”

“I, uh, met this girl. Her name’s Lexi. She’s also dead like us. She’s really nice, and she helped me out with some things I had difficulty understanding about us being ghosts now.”

“You should invite her to the show!” Anne got excited, bouncing in her chair.

“She’d be the only one to actually see us on stage with (Y/n). I don’t think it would be a problem.” Marie smiled at Raven, playfully poking her cheek. ”You should definitely invite her.”

“Well not just her. Would you be fine if her friend tags along, too?”

Anne giggled, feeling her excitement bubble even more. “Oooo! Another ghost! We can make two new friends now!”

“I think that’d be sweet if you invited them.” You smiled at Raven while handing Marie her notebook back. “I also think I’m going to bed. I’ll see you three bright and early to start working on this song!” Stretching as you stood up, you waved goodbye to them when you started to leave the studio. “Night everyone!”

During the week, you spent most of your free time with the girls working on the song. You taught Anne how to use the soundboard when she played the keyboard. It took the first two days to agree on the drum sounds you’d use, but it worked out in the end. You, Marie, and Raven figured out who would sing what parts of the songs, both girls agreed you’d take the lead for the majority of it while they took backup instead.

The morning of the performance, the four of you looked through your wardrobe to see what you could wear. You settled on an old band shirt, ripped jeans, and a black jean jacket. It was casual, but still fit the mood of the song. The big factor was that you felt comfortable in it and could move around.

“So this is the place?” Lexi looked around the outdoor theatre area, amazed that it was as huge as it was.

“Looks like it...oh! Is that the girl that can see them?” Kimberly looked in your direction, but you didn’t notice since you were setting up the keyboard and soundboard almost off stage.

“Yeah, that’s her.” Lexi smiled when she spotted Raven helping you.

“Why don’t you ask her out?” Kimberly tilted her head, asking genuinely. 

“I- it’s not like that, dude. We’re just friends...”

“Right, just friends. That can change, you know.”

“Shut up. You’re a dork.” Lexi’s cheeks started to turn light pink, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“I’m your dork and you’re stuck with me!” Kimberly laughed when she saw Lexi pout.

“Alright, alright. Settle down, everyone. I believe our next act is ready to begin.” The host of the show looked over at you.

Nervously, you whispered to Marie. “I don’t think I can go through with this after all…”

“You got this, (Y/n), we wouldn't have asked you to do this if we didn't think you were perfect for the part. We’ll be here, just look over at us when you need support, alright? You’re not alone in this.” Marie gave an encouraging smile before you were led out to the stage.

Adjusting the mic to be a bit lower, you looked out into the audience and felt your nerves almost wash away when you saw your friend Erica in the front row, smiling and giving you a thumbs up. “Um, hey, everyone. I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves so far. The song I’ll be performing is called Take Your Jacket. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy it.”

Pressing the button on the soundboard, the music went out through the speakers. Taking a deep breath in, you picked up the mic and started the song.

“You want your song? Well, here's an anthem. You broke my heart and held all of my past to ransom. Well, get a grip. You're not that special. Trying to slip around the demons that you wrestle. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest. Don't get me wrong, but sometimes the smart ain't strong.”

You were about to look over at the girls, but before you or anyone could prepare themselves, they suddenly appeared on stage, playing their instruments and joining you on the chorus. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

Taking the lead again, you danced over to Marie, singing the next part to her. “Came from beneath and knocked me over. Rotting my teeth, you're sickly sweet like cherry cola.” Continuing to sing, you turned your attention back to the crowd. “No, not this time, no, you won't fool me. Your childish tricks are in the past, I can guarantee. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest, Don't get me wrong, But being the smartest ain't too clever.”

Raven and Marie joined in on the chorus, jumping and dancing in place. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

You started to dance around on stage with the girls as they played their instrumental parts. It’s then that you all realized the crowd was cheering at all of you. The girls' smiles widened, looking at you and realizing the audience could see them!

Smiling and feeling excited, you took center stage, ready to finish the song on a great note. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. The hole you left is sore at best. We know this wouldn't last, reshape the past.” 

Hearing the crowd cheer for you all was a feeling you never thought you’d hear again. Looking around at the girls, they smiled at you before they disappeared, leaving a white mist behind. The audience's cheers slowly faded, wondering what happened to the band.

Quickly thinking, you started to explain what just happened. “Uh thank you all for enjoying our performance! We’re The Hex Girls! Hologram band all ran by me, (Y/n) (L/n).” Taking a bow, you left the mic on the stand and ran off stage where Erica was waiting. 

“A hologram band?! Seriously?” She crossed her arms over her chest

“What?” You look at her genuinely confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? (Y/n)? I thought we said no more secrets after what happened with your dad…”

“I….I know I’m sorry but this was super last minute. Please You have to understand-”

“Yeah, understand that my best friend since Elementary School decides to keep it a secret that she joins and makes a band, let alone signs up for this show without telling me either when I was the one encouraging you to do it in the first place?!”

“I’m sorry, seriously! I just wanted it to be a surprise…”

“Sure is a surprise...that you don’t trust me to help with this. You know I don’t like when you put everything on yourself.” Erica sighed and shook her head. “I’m gonna head home.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You asked her, but it felt more like pleading.

“Probably not…” Erica turned to leave, leaving you alone by the door backstage. 

“That was amazing! They saw us!” Marie shouted in excitement when she caught up with her sisters and two new friends. “So, which one of you is Lexi?”

“That’s me..” Lexi shyly smiled.

Marie hugged her tightly before letting go. “Thanks for helping out my sister the past week. She talks about you a lot, by the way.”

Raven punched Marie’s arm, slightly embarrassed. “Do not, stop lying.”

Anne giggled and mouthed out, “She does” to Lexi, making her blush even more.

Marie pouted at Raven while rubbing her arm, “Geez, you didn’t have to hit that hard.” Looking over at the other two giggling, she smiled. “And how about you?”

“Me? Oh! I’m Kimberly, it's nice to meet you.” Reaching out her hand, Marie took it in hers and shook her hand before taking it back.

Anne pouted, feeling a bit left out. “Why am I the one left out without a cute girl to talk to?”

Both Lexi and Kimberly blushed while Raven and Marie laughed. 

“You’re not being left out, dummy, you’re a part of the group. Stop being a pouty baby, sunshine.” Marie hugged Anne from behind, making her giggle.

From afar, Phantom saw all of them interacting before putting his sunglasses on and making his way back to his car. The soul collector had an idea brewing in his head after seeing that very interesting performance.

Tag List:

@lady-bee-fechin​

@forbiddenstars​

@wildspeciallavender​

@fluffy-demon-wolf​

@huffle-princess​

[inside-of-a-fangirls-mind]

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 4

Notes; AHHH I’m sorry this took so long, between helping my mom make masks for her job and my own job it’s been crazy. I didn’t realize this was already done and I edited it already. That’s my bad. It’s not my best but I hope you like it. 

Words; 3,451

Pairing; Geralt X Reader

Warnings; Smutty ish kinda. It’s in the beginning. Drunk reader. Maybe cursing? I curse a lot idk. 

(I do not own anything witcher or the gifs above!)

Tag List; @yuminyg​ @andyl394​ @grumgoblin​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @tapismyforte​ @wintersoldierslut​

(If you wanna be added to the tag list let me know!)

                      Chapter 4; Something Accidental 

"Y/N" Geralt whispered in your ear as your eyes met, his tongue whipping out to lick his lips. Your eyes glance down a moment before back into his gorgeous amber eyes.

"Geralt." You whispered back at his hand slide up to cup your face, you leaned in and closed your eyes and when his lips met yours you were nothing but a puddle of mush beneath the witcher. Your mouths moved in a rhythm that sent shivers through your body and had your heart racing.

He pulled back long enough for you to feel his hot breath on your lips, the way his pupils were lust blown started some heat between your legs. You bit your lip for a moment just gazing back at the man above you. "Y/N" He whispered again, forehead pressing to yours before pulling you into another deep kiss. Your tongues rolling over each others' as if you had down this for years. Every move in perfect sequence.

You moan into the kiss, reaching out to pull him closer to you, needing to touch him anywhere and everywhere. A small chuckle left his lips as he pulled away and trailed kisses down your neck. "You need to get up now." He whispered, his coarse voice shaking your soul.

"Why? I'm quite comfortable here?" You tease back before sliding your hands down his back and under his shirt, nearly moaning at the heat radiating off his skin.

"You gotta wake up now Y/N." He whispered before you were pulled from what you thought was reality. When you finally managed to open your eyes, Jaskier was standing above you shaking your non-hurt shoulder gently. "You gotta get up Y/N." His smirk told you all. You had been talking in your sleep again and now you were pretty sure Jaskier knew about your minor, itty, little crush on Geralt.

You let out a loud groan and pulled a pillow over your face. "Just leave me here." You muttered through the thick dense cloth. Your cheeks were probably bright pink, but it was better Jaskier than Geralt hearing you call his name.

"What and let you get back to your very sultry dream of our dear friend? Not a chance missy, Now up, up, up" He chants as he pulled the pillow off your head and went to the door. "If you aren't downstairs in a few minutes I'll have to entertain Geralt by telling him all about what I heard." He snickered.

You shot up at that moment and threw a pillow at him, but he dodged it and was already heading downstairs. You wanted to scream, but you dragged yourself out of bed and stood in front of the small mirror in the room. Trying to straighten out your hair. But it didn't look like there was any hope for it. You noticed a pair of pants and a button-up shirt left out for you, and while it wasn't what you normally wore it would have to do.

It took a while to change with your shoulder but you managed okay, only hoping Jaskier didn't say shit to Geralt yet. Slowly you made your way out of your room and down the stairs, hoping this wasn't a goodbye from the boys. You had grown to care about Jaskier in the last few days and fall ever madly in love with Geralt. Wait did you genuinely love him? You shallowed and tried to brace yourself for whatever laid at the bottom of the stairs.

Once you were at the bottom of the stairs you noticed the boys sitting with the blonde woman from before, talking up a storm. You walked into the sitting room offering a shy smile. "Hey, guys." You were a little nervous.

Jaskier got up and offered you his arm to help you sit down beside the blonde woman. Geralt sat alone in a red chair and Jaskier on another one. Only you and the woman were sitting on the couch. You rested your hands together in your lap unsure what to say.

"Y/N this is Keria." Geralt spoke nodding to the woman. "This is her place."

You offer a smile, "Keria, that's a beautiful name. Thank you for allowing me to stay here." You weren't sure what else to say this woman hadn't even said two words to you before.

"It's no problem, just repaying a favor." Her smile was bright and friendly and put you at ease. "You can stay as long as you need too, you got quite a battle scar."

You nod before looking to Jaskier, "Thanks Keria, it means a lot honestly. I will pay for my room and anything I eat. I don't wish to inconvenience you." She shook her hand before placing a hand on yours with another bright smile.

"Don't worry about it. Geralt and I go way back. It's not a problem. You just worry about getting better." She then turns to Jaskier, "I take it you'll be watching her then?"

"Yes I will," He nods before offering you a smile.

"Watching me?" You questioned looking from face to face to try and read the situation. Geralt didn't meet your eyes for a moment, thinking about what he was going to say.

"Yes," It was a little drawn out before he spoke again. "I've agreed to help Keria with a job, to repay for us staying here. We will be back in three days if all goes well." His voice didn't show any hint of emotions and your face fell.

"Well let me pack my things, I'll come too. It never hurts to have a little extra magick about." You smiled before starting to get up when Keira's hands set you back down.

"No, Y/n. This is something we have to deal with. I don't want you getting hurt so soon." Her smile was hiding something but you couldn't tell what. Other mages were the hardest to read.

"I'm fine really." You insisted before Jaskier shook his head at you. Giving you a knowing look.

"C'mon Y/N we will have together. You'll never even know you missed a fight. I'm sure we can start one at the inn." Jaskier teased giving you a knowing look.

"No fights while we are gone." Geralt sighed before looking at you, "And no leaving the house." Without another word he stood up and headed out of the room. Keira shortly followed as you and Jaskier stared at each other.

"What's that all about?" You whispered to him. Geralt was acting strange, maybe it was because of the bath this morning or maybe something was wrong.

"Well-" He started before moving over to sit next to you. "Keira has asked for his help to find a missing child. The boy was supposedly her trainee and he went missing on a trip to the town over. But leave it be. It's nothing fun I promise." His smile said he was hiding something but you didn't bother pressing the issue.

"Can you go grab my bag from my room Jaskier? You're a bit faster than me." You teased before standing up and gesturing to your shoulder.

"That doesn't affect your legs," he teased before getting up and fetching your bag quickly. You're pretty sure he thought you would run off if he was gone too long. Once he put your bag in your hands you dug through it for two different items then ran out the front door to where Keria and Geralt were.

Jaskier chased after you trying to stop you. Geralt was already on Roach's back and Keira on an all-white horse. "Geralt" You called out before they rode away. He glanced at you as you walked up to his house pushing the two items into his hands.

"What's this?" He questioned staring at the items then at you. You smiled before pulling open the tie on the little bags.

"Ones the coin I owe you, the other to keep you safe." You might have been staring at him for too long so you look away and pet roach for a moment. He didn't say a word as he put them into his pocket. "You take good care of them, Roach. You're such a good girl." You cooed to her as she pushed her nose into your hands.

"Don't touch Roach." Geralt whispered before picking up his reigns and offering you a slight smile. "Stay out of trouble. Don't wanna come back to you dead." And without another word the two of them rode off.

Jaskier walked up beside you, "What was that?" He whispered before urging you back inside.

You took a moment to look around, a beautiful field in front of you, dotted with a few trees, a nearby river rushing at the edge of your sight and one road. Leading from the edge of the far off trees through the field as far as you could see. "A talisman, I need him to be safe." You whispered before going back inside.

"Okay, I wanna hear all about this I'm not in love with Geralt nonsense." He smirked as he shut the door behind you two.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You hum trying to keep yourself busy by messing with things around the house.

"Oh please, you were moaning his name in your sleep, you can't fool me." He pulled you away from trying to touch a statue. "C'mon, tell Jaskier all about it. Maybe it will inspire me to write a song about you two." He teased before you let out a sigh.

"Only if you promise to not do that." You chuckled softly before taking a moment to think. "I don't know. He's just, he's." You try and piece together why you like him. "Maybe it's his eyes, or the way he acts all big and tough, maybe it's his smell or his jawline. Maybe it's the way no one has risked their life to save mine before. Or.." You gaze off into the distance not sure if you should go on.

"Or?" Jaskier pulled out a bottle of wine before pouring two glasses. Handing one to you and taking a sip from the other.

"Or, the way he smiles, the way he isn't phased by who I am. I haven't had a non-elf look at me the way he does before. Just it's something in his eyes, it feels like I've been lost for a while and when I gaze into them I feel like I've finally found home?" You questioned yourself as the words seemed to fly out without a filter. "No that's stupid. I don't even know him. It's probably just because he's good looking and has been taking care of me. It's nothing." You try and cover up what you were saying. It didn't mean anything. He was your hero and that's why you felt this way.

"That doesn't sound like nothing." Jaskier smiles softly before looking down at his wine. "It sounds like you are in love, though Geralt has only been in love once in the time I've known him. But you are so much more than her. Plus you can just tell in the way he looks at you he cares. Nevermind what he's said." Jaskier takes a sip of his wine before heading to the kitchen to find some food.

"Wait, what?" You follow him, drink in hand. "What do you mean nevermind what he said? What did he say?" You step in front of him, eyes wide, you needed to know if it was even possible he felt the same way.

"Y/N, He cares about you. You had him worried sick almost when you were just lying there. He kept asking Keira if she could heal you with magick if you would wake up if you'd be okay. He didn't eat for two days until I forced him to." Jaskier smiles before nodding to your wine in your hands. "Drink up we are going to have a fun night."

You can't believe what he said. Geralt does truly care about you, a lot. You down your wine before setting the glass down. "What else has he told you?"

It went on for hours, you asked and Jaskier would answer. Not like Geralt had admitted he had feelings for you, but he did care about you and your well being. And he even wanted to make sure you got back home safe when you were all better. After that, you don't remember much. Flashes of Jaskier singing to you, you playing with some fruit trying to juggle, and Jaskier and you drinking three bottles of wine.

Three days went by in no time, but Geralt and Keira were nowhere to be seen. You had finally begged Jaskier to let you go to the local inn, and he finally took you. He could use a crowd to sing to and test out some new songs anyway. You had slipped on one of Keira's dresses and hid your ears with a spell, a little lipstick from her makeup stash and you were ready to go. It wasn't an extremely long walk, she lived right outside of town and Jaskier sang to you the whole way. Once at the inn, you relaxed a little. Or maybe it was the three ales you had already drank that set your nerves at ease. Either way, Jaskier was playing a slamming song and you felt the need to dance.

You stood up from your chair and started spinning around letting the music move your body in any way that seemed fit. You were the only one dancing but all the men were cheering for you. Not like you wanted their attention, there was only one mans attention you wanted. You somehow end up dancing on a table, a few others had even started to dance around the inn. You were spinning before landing a jump off the table with grace only to grab a random guy's hand and start dancing with him. Everything felt amazing. Once Jaskier's song had finished another bard had picked up where he left off with another good song, or maybe it was just the ale. Jaskier grabbed your hand from the other man and spun you around the floor. The two of you laughing and smiling the whole time.

You couldn't remember the last time you had this much fun, it had been years. Finally, you weren't worrying about money or where you were going to sleep or having to steal some poor sucker blind. You had friends, no you had found a family. Soon enough Jaskier spun you into his arms before whispering to you, "We should get home. Geralt will be worried sick if we aren't there when he returns." You nod before downing another few ales. Jaskier pulls you out the door and the two of you make the walk home. You're laughing and skipping along the path, the sun was just starting to set.

"Jaskier, I wish this could go on forever!" You chimed up spinning around before stopping in front of him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Wish what could?" He was unquestionably a lot more sober than you were, and one of you had to be for the walk home. He knew how much you missed Geralt and just wanted you to have a good time.

"Traveling with you guys! Killing monsters, traveling the continent, times like this. Drinking together, dancing, just being a family." You looked up at the sky before screaming out, "I love my new friends!"

Jaskier just chuckled before looping his arm in yours, "I take it your shoulder is feeling much better. And I do enjoy this as well. I hope you'll stick around for a while Y/N." He smiles as you guys approach the house. Just as Geralt and Keira ride up.

"Jaskier? Y/N?" Geralt questions before getting off Roach and walking towards the two of you.

"Geralt!" You cheer before throwing your hands up, "How's it going my friend! I've missed you!" You run over to him and throw your arms around his neck before seeing Keira and running over and doing the same to her. "You guys have been gone forever." You drew out the last word before giggling.

"She's uh, a little drunk right now. She was worried sick since you two weren't back and we went out to get drinks. Nothing happened though, just her having fun and I earned a little coin." Jaskier smiled before you ran back over to his side clinging to his arm.

"We were dancing and drinking! I was spinning so much! I was even dancing on a table and everyone was cheering. Is that how it feels all the time Jaskier? To play in front of everyone and have everyone love you. It was amazing!" You blurt out swaying a little on the spot.

Geralt didn't say a word but shot a glare to Jaskier before walking over and taking your arm in his. "C'mon Y/N lets get you to bed." With that, he was taking you into the house and right up the stairs.

"Don't be mad at Jasky!" You whine before leaning on Geralt. "I was sad and he cheered me up, I'm very happy now." You hum as you two approach your room.

"I'm not mad, I just I don't want you getting in trouble in town." He sat you on the bed. "You should get some sleep, you're going to regret it in the morning." His voice was soft and tender, if you weren't drunk you would have known something was up.

"Geralt." Your voice was a lot quieter as you took his hand and smiled up at him. "I'm really glad I met you. You're amazing, you fight amazing, you talk amazing, you look amazing." You giggled before laying down on the bed and stretching out. "Why don't you lay with me? Just for a bit. I missed having you around."

Geralt didn't know what to say, he was more so in shock than anything. He cleared his throat before glancing at the door. "I should go, gotta put roach away and all that."

"Just for a minute, please!" You nearly begged him before patting the other side of the bed. He let out a sigh before sitting on the far side of the bed and laying down on his back.

"happy?" He asked glancing at you. You nod before putting your hand on his chest as you turn on your side facing him.

"Very." You smile at him before closing your eyes, you were finally able to relax knowing he was safe and sound. "I didn't get much sleep. I was so worried about you not coming back."

He reached into his pocket and slipped something into his hand. "Don't worry you kept me safe." He whispered before you swore you felt his hand brush your hair behind your ear. "You don't need to hide who you are, I will protect you." His voice was soft and calming and you lifted the spell with a single mutter.

"Thanks, Geralt." You mumble before drifting off into a deep sleep. Geralt doesn't move from the bed right away, he stays a little while. Watching you sleep. He doesn't know why he feels so close to you, you've only been in his life for a few days, yet he feels like he's known you forever. He couldn't afford to let you get hurt, he wasn't sure why but he knew he had to protect you and never let anyone hurt you again.

"Sleep well Y/N, I'll see you in the morning." He whispers before caressing your cheek and leaving the room. Jaskier is standing at the bottom of the stairs with a smirk on his face.

"So did you tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Geralt questioned looking at the bard with a strange look.

"That you love her. Geralt it's written all over your face." Jaskier crossed his arms as his smirk grew. "You know she cares about you. Missed you like crazy. Why not just tell her."

Geralt stared at him for a moment. "Witchers don't have feelings, remember?" He started to walk past him.

"Yet you do. Tell Y/N you love her or I will." Jaskier stared into his eyes before glancing at the stairs.

"I-" Geralt sighs before thinking it over. "I will when the time is right. Okay?" and with that, he headed outside to check on Roach. He knew you didn't feel the same way how could an elf love a witcher? How could anyone love a witcher? You deserved so much better.

If only he knew. 

Chapter 5

[abbybubbls]

For Nostalgia (Wilford Warfstache and Darkiplier)

Summary: Dark tries to find Wilford’s pants, but finds something completely different.

--------------------------------------------

“Wilford, I have a very important question for you.”

“Yes?”

“Where the fuck are your pants.”

Wilford was being very indecisive that day. It took him half an hour explaining why he couldn’t find his favorite pants with a bunch of side stories that had absolutely nothing to do with Dark’s question. Or maybe Wilford just didn’t want to wear pants and he wanted his story to sound interesting. It all concluded to him not getting fired, so that’s a… plus?

“Can you tell me why you didn’t want to go without pants today?” Dark asked. Wilford felt offended.

“I just told you, I couldn’t find my favorite pair! What, you don’t believe me?”

Dark put his palms together. “Precisely.”

“I’ve looked through my closet for hours,” Wilford pouted. “None of my other pants fit me, that’s all.”

“You just wanted to go waist-down clothless,” Dark replied flatly.

“Not true!” Wilford exclaimed, pointing down at his feet. “I’m wearing socks!”

At least he’s wearing ‘boxers’ too, Dark thought, trying not to look. But it doesn’t explain why he doesn’t have his real damn pants on.

I am innocent, I swear~ Wilford made a smug face while looking at Dark without his lips moving.

Sure you are.

“Why don’t I look through your closet and find your pants myself, Wilford?” Dark asked out loud.

Wilford’s face flinched, exclaiming “No!” before covering his mouth with his hand. Dark’s face stiffened.

“Why not?”

Wilford cleared his throat and chuckled, waving his hand around his face. “O- Oh, you wouldn’t like my closet, Dark. You wouldn’t like my whole room at all! It gets so messy and everything is everywhere- Oh! And it’s so cramped! We both know how much you hate tight spaces!”

“I was just in your room three days ago, Will,” Dark’s tone lowered. “It was perfectly clean since then.”

Wilford scritched his chin. “Y- You know me, Dark. I see no mess, so I create the mess!”

“And I’ve been in worse situations when it comes to tight spaces,” Dark added. “I’m pretty sure your exit-able closet is more tolerable than a broken-as-all-hell elevator that we never use.”

“When you mean ‘we’, you mean you, cuz you’ve never used it since that incident-”

“I know what I meant.”

Wilford huffed and crossed his arms. “Well, I’ve got some things that are super important in my room! What does it take to not disrespect a man’s privacy around here?”

I’m fairly certain you don’t even know the half of it.

Dark eyed behind Wilford, and spotted the Captain Magnum near Wilford’s gun, that was quite dangerously lying on the counter.

“And who cares if I don’t have pants on?! I’ve run around like a moron without them during an interview before, and nobody seems to remember it!”

Dark pointed over Wilford’s shoulder. “Oh hey, Wilford, look. The Captain is touching your gun without your permission.”

Wilford gasped and gripped at his hair. “WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMON DECENCY?!”

He ran down the hallway with Dark covering the side of his face with his hand. “MAGNUM, DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!!!”

“It’s alive?! ”

Dark smirked, and quickly sent himself inside of Wilford’s room.

(Click keep reading, or read on my AO3!)

Just as Dark suspected, everything in the room was spotless. Only a dozen pieces of sticky notes of doodles and interview questions were scattered all over the floor, but it seemed like they were brushed aside near Wilford’s desk mirror right next to his door. Will’s bed was a mess as well, with the blankets draping over the other and pillows flattened, but Dark thinks he likes sleeping like that anyway. There was also a sparkled up fake fireplace with a rack of colorful suspenders hanging above it as if they’d be stockings, with the red-faded-to-pink pair hanging at the dead center.

I’m sure those all won’t overheat and catch on fire. Sarcasm.

Dark bumped into the closet door, seeing that the frame reaches to the very ceiling of Wilford’s whole room. It’s not like Captain Magnum is ever gonna sneak in, why is it so tall? No matter. Dark opened the closet door, only for an avalanche of clothes to fall right on top of him. Not enough to make him stumble over, for Dark is as sturdy as a boulder.

Dark yanked all the clothes off of him, and saw that MOST of them… were shirts. The clothes that were pants though…! Were either stained, torn up, or just straight up too small. Dark was going to suggest in his head that Wilford could wear his collection of tight shorts like layers, but that’d make him appear too… big.

“Goddammit, Will.”

Dark stepped over the pile of clothes to hesitantly get himself inside of the closet. His head bumps against a light bulb with a pulley-switch next to it. Dark didn’t really need to turn the light on because since he was wearing his new white suit for a change, and he’d practically be glowing more easier that way with his twins’ auras and such.

But just because he can, Dark turned the light on by pulling the switch. The closet was a tiny bit smaller than the elevator he never uses, but at least there’s an escape route. Dark looked around every nook and cranny in the closet to at least find one, one good pair of pants that isn’t too revealing, and so that Wilford would give in to wearing until he finds his ‘most favorite’ pair soon. But if that doesn’t happen, it could be the goldfish situation where Dark buys or makes the same pair, and Wilford wouldn’t even know the difference.

There was a very tall shelf at the end of the closet, and Dark tried to reach up to the top to grab something, any thing… only to have a tan round thing fall off and land on the floor. Dust was flying, enough dust for Dark to almost hack and choke on while coughing it all away. And waving his hand around was definitely helping. “What the hell-?”

As soon as the dust died down to the floor, Dark rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. The helmet rolled on its side for a moment, and wobbled near the wall. It was Wilford’s old old old old old pith helmet.

Dark stared at it for a long minute, knowing perfectly well that Wilford wouldn’t remember having this helmet, not even remember being a colonel.

Dark picked the helmet up from the floor, and gently brushed the dust away. He looked up at the shelf. “He wouldn’t happen to have the rest, would he…?”

A corner of a sleeve was hanging from the very top of the shelf. To avoid the possibility of getting dust all over the place again, Dark put the helmet down on a lower shelf and stood on his tip-toes, and reached up with both of his hands tugging on edges of old linty clothing. His grip on both edges tightened, and he slowly lifted a neatly folded pile of bright tan clothes off the top of the shelf.

“No,” Dark muttered, blinking away dust. “There is no way…”

Indeed, it was 100% Wilford’s old outfit for when he was a colonel from the early 1900’s. Dark already had questions running through his head. How in the world does Wilford still have this? When did he put it in the closet? Why does Wilford still have this outfit after all these years, even when he’s so far gone from who he was?

Dark slowly brushed the grime and lint off of a small, silver winged metal that is still pinned on the coat. Same with a red and white metal on the other side.

Dark had no idea where Will’s red ascot went, it probably faded to pink like his suspenders and turned into the bowtie he still wears to this day. And Will’s glasses were definitely snapped apart, or shattered, or burnt when he realized that even seeing clearly didn’t matter to him anymore. All that is left is the pith helmet, the coat, pants (finally!), and the boots, which were surprisingly very well hidden in the darkness of the bottom shelf. Will shouldn’t have these.

Wilford’s voice from outside of his room gradually got louder, but that didn’t phase Dark at all. He had a few questions to ask. Chances are, Wilford might not know all the answers, but it’s worth a try to ask anyway.

“You may be taller than all of us, but it ain’t gonna phase me, Captain!” Wilford shouted, shaking a fist. “You wanna know why? Cuz Warfstache don’t take no sh(BLEEP!)t from nobody! ”

With a slam of his door, Wilford looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I should really fix that swear-detector thing.”

“Wilford.”

Wilford hiccuped, seeing Dark standing right in front of him with his hat, boots, and the rest of Will’s outfit in his hands. “Hiiiiiiiii…!”

Dark’s face was frozen in place, stern. “Care to explain to me what these are all about?”

Wilford was grinning nervously. “W- Well, they’re um- they’re winter clothes!”

“We live in Ca-”

“Traveling vacation winter clothes!”

“You know, depending on how much Mark uses us for projects, we’re technically almost always on vacation,” Dark said. “We’ve never traveled once.”

Wilford’s face dropped, and Dark took a step forward.

“So, Wilford,” he continued. “What are these clothes here for?”

“I- I found it in a zoo! I won it for a bet!”

“Wilford.”

“I don’t know!” Wilford exclaimed, throwing fists like a child. “I’ve always had them in my closet! I don’t remember what they’re for, but they give me warm fuzzy feelings, maybe a tiny memory or two.”

“A bad memory or a good memory?”

“I dunno, does it matter that much to you?” Wilford asked. “The good and bad don’t matter to me, cuz they’re useless memories! Memories that’ll come back and disappear from my head like always!”

Dark didn’t know exactly what to say to that. Why would he care about somebody else’s memories and whether they’d be good or bad? It’s like having someone constantly looking over your shoulder. Sure, Dark has been invasive when it came to Wilford being a pain in the ass, but Dark only did it because he didn’t want Wilford to cause any more trouble than he already did.

Wilford pouted with his arms crossed, and looked down at the floor as if he’s been ashamed of himself… for some reason. Dark stared down at the pile of clothes in his hands. His grip tightened, and he sighed.

“I’m sorry, Will,” he muttered. Wilford blinked at him. “I didn’t mean to make this appear as a bigger deal than it should be.”

And all of this started because of pants.

“Have you…” Dark continued. “Worn this outfit lately?”

Wilford’s frustrated and hurt face softened. “Not in a while, no.”

“I was just wondering because of how much dust it was collecting,” Dark’s tone went gentle. “Have you thought about wearing it?”

Wilford’s hands were gripping on his sleeves loosely. “Kind of.”

Silence filled the room. Dark’s hands leaned forward. “Here. You can wear it. If you’d like.”

Without saying anything, Wilford hesitantly held the outfit out of Dark’s hands, and kicked some clothes out of his way as he headed inside his closet. Dark sat down at the edge of Wilford’s bed, waiting patiently.

A moment later, and Dark heard the closet door open. The familiar sound of boots slowly walking on the floor filled the room, and Dark saw Wilford in the entire outfit. He looked the same as he did a long time ago, only the mustache stands out a LOT more now than it did before.

Wilford was still doing the last few buttons of his coat as he left the closet, and Dark just noticed the wearing out on them. The belt around Wilford’s waist was a bit loose, but there was nothing for it to hold anyway.

“How does wearing all of that make you feel?” Dark asked.

Wilford’s hands rubbed all over his arms, and he tucked his face in his collar. “Warm, mostly! Gives me a trip of nostalgia.”

“You know how you said earlier you don’t remember what the outfit was for?” Dark asked, head tilting. “Maybe nostalgia is why.”

The front tip of the pith helmet was hiding Wilford’s eyes, which he did not like. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t remember a whole lot, just a few baby pieces.”

“I see no problem with that,” Dark replied, smiling gently. His watch hidden in his sleeve beeped. “Meeting. Wilford, do you want to go dressed like that?”

Wilford took his helmet off, tossed it on his bed, and ruffled his hair. He and Dark went over to his door. “Why not? It’s cozy and makes me feel good. And I did find pants so you wouldn’t be staring at me all day~”

As Wilford opened the door, Dark smacked his back. “Shut up.”

[she-is-tim]

P.S. I miss you | Elu Online friends AU | Ch.2

Previous Chapters: 1

It’s been since a month now that Eliott started to talk to this interesting boy on instagram. They get along well and it’s just a safe place for him to go back to when things are getting too much in his life. But january is here and he’s about to start at his new school. What he doesn’t expect is to bump into the person he’s been texting with. Suddenly Eliott’s life going upside down as he both tries to approach and avoid Lucas at the same time.

Face to Face

“So...” Idriss started, looking at the boy sitting on the bed with squinted eyes. ��Why didn’t you tell him the truth again?” 

Eliott let out a frustrated sigh, focusing his vision on the snake that was wrapping itself around his forearm. He rubbed his head and made silly faces at him. It was good for distraction, because he absolutely didn’t wanted to explain himself yet again. They were supposed to hang out because Sofiane will leave to Morocco next weekend to visit his family and will not come back for a whole month. There’s no point in bringing up his stupid crush on Lucas beautiful eyes Lallemant. An yet there they were again.

“Don’t be such a drama queen.” Idriss scoffed and kicked his bed from the chair he was sitting on. Sofiane was chilling next to him, leaning his hips to the desk, crossing his arms and just watching Eliott with analitical glances.

“I’m not a drama queen.” he huffed and poked the nose of his snake, giggling when it hissed back at him. 

“Can you stop petting that thing?” Idriss screamed now, kicking the bed again. “You’re creeping me out.” 

“His name is Nagini, and no.” Eliott said, looking at his friend with piercing eyes, letting his little buddy to slide on his shoulders and around his neck. 

“If he doesn’t strangle you, I’ll do it myself.” 

“Idriss, calm down.” Sofiane sighed, finally getting into the conversation. “We are just worried about you, Eliott. You really like this boy, don’t you? There is the chance to start something with him. Why aren’t you doing it?” he raised his eyebrows in question. 

“Listen, he is most probably still closeted, it’s one thing to flirt online with someone through texts, but what if he would just push me away?” he asked with true concern in his voice. “I don’t wanna risk that, he is my safe place.” he mumbled, stroking the snake that was resting lazily on his shoulders. 

“You don’t know that.” Sofiane sighed and sat down next to his friend, he wasn’t afraid of Nagini at all, he liked all kinds of animals. “Just give him a chance. If it doesn’t work out, then what’s the point in texting him anyways?” he said and it hurt Eliott how true his words were. He just quietly nodded, but deep inside he knew that he is not ready to tell the truth.

“Okay, now get rid of that freaking reptile and let’s go out somewhere.” Idriss said, now a big smile spreading on his face. Both boys giggled at him and Eliott got up from his bed to put Nagi back to his terrarium. He gave him food and then changed clothes, ready to leave his apartment with his friends. 

His phone was buzzing once, twice. He hoped that it will stop, but it didn’t, so he groaned, opening his eyes as slowly as he could, fishing the device out from under his pillow, checking who was the brave person texting him at 9 in the morning on a fucking sunday. He jumped into sitting position like he was struck by lightning when he saw the username, unlocking his phone even quicker. 

lucallemant Eliiiii Good morning Wake uuuup I need your attention, sir You know what? FUCK YOU

Eliott couldn’t suppress his laugh, leaning his back to the headboard of his bed, typing a reply to his impatient friend. Lucas was really one grumpy hedgehog, especially in the morning.

srodulv Why are you even awake? 

lucallemant Aaaand he lives!  Ladies and gentlemen, the man, the myth, the LEGEND

srodulv It’s sunday, Lucas I was sleeping  So why are you awake? 

lucallemant I was in church with my mom...

Eliott felt a sudden pain in his chest and cursed for not waking up earlier. He knew how hard it was for the boy to spend time with his mother and going to mass with her. He wasn’t religious at all, so the whole thing felt like a torture for him and Eliott could understand his feeling. He felt the same when he was forced to meet his therapist once a month, or every other week when he had an episode. 

srodulv Please tell me you aren’t drunk 

lucallemant I didn’t drink yet 

srodulv Lucas...

lucallemant I know

srodulv Sorry for not waking up earlier though But I’m here now

lucallemant Don’t apologize I am the one being too clingy

srodulv You are definitely not too clingy Believe me 

lucallemant Thanks  ❤️

He sighed, looking at the ceiling. He wished that he could just pull the boy into his arms and hug him until he feels better. It was so fucking hard that he wasn’t able to comfort him physically, but he was afraid. It was one thing that Lucas accepted him with all his flaws, but he only had to deal with them through texting. He didn’t had to see Eliott cry in the corner, scratching red traces onto his arms, pulling his hair and yelling mean things. He wasn’t there when Eliott was in a depressed phase, ignoring everything and everyone, pushing away the ones that tried to help. He had no idea. He already had an ill mother to deal with, he wanted to spare him from having to deal with his shit too. 

srodulv Take a shower You’ll feel better 

lucallemant You’re just saying this, because you want me to take off my clothes

srodulv Guess I got busted I’m sure you have the finest ass in France

lucallemant Shut up 

srodulv Make me~ 

lucallemant You cheeky bastard

srodulv It’s a part of my charm ;)

On monday Eliott was not ready to go to school, even less to face with Lucas. He just hoped that the boy forgot about him completely, since they like talked for a few minutes, shared one joint (with an annoying girl included) and had a staring contest at the common room meeting. Nothing to really remember of, right? He let out a deep sigh and wished he could have the courage of Sofiane, who was always ready to express his emotions and do incredible things once he made up his mind. 

He walked into the school building, straight to his own locker, not even looking around if he could catch a glimpse of fluffy hair, baby blue eyes and sweet cherry lips. He swallowed and organized his books now at his opened locker, making sure he has everything in his bag that he needs before lunch. He was ready to leave when he saw Lucas walking towards his direction, so he just panicked and ran into the first room he found. As he closed the door behind himself, he had to face three confused girls glacing at him. One of them was more like thirsty than confused, but Eliott tried to get rid of that thought. 

“Hey, girls.” he said just a tiny bit nervously, only now realizing that he was in the common room, judging by the awful mural on the wall. 

“Hey, you were on the meeting last friday, right?” the blonde girl, Daphné if he remembers correctly asked him with a bright smile on her face. 

“Oh yeah, I remember seeing you.” the girl with the blue hair. She fucking had pink wings on her white shoes, Eliott was impressed by that, he liked weird stuff. “I’m Alex.” she smiled widely.

“My name is Eliott, nice to meet you.” he said with a gentle smile. 

“What can we do for you, Eliott?” the third girl asked, he remembers seeing her on Lucas’ instagram a couple times, she was Emma, the ex of his boy’s best friend.

“Nothing, really.” he said honestly and pointed at the door behind him. “I was just passing by and thought that I check in. How is the whole thing going?” he asked, looking around. The place was a complete mess, chairs and tables everywhere, big splatters of long dried paint on the floor. Plus the horrendous mural. He had no idea how Daphné could think this will be a place where students want to come and chill. He rather spend his time in a broom closet. 

“We are working on it.” the blonde one said with so much enthusiasm it almost convinced the boy that this place can be something better. “I have big plans, but first is to cover the mural.” she said, cocking her head towards the wall, not bothering to look at it. Eliott could understand, he felt like those colorful letters were burning out his eyes the longer he looked at them. 

“It is awful for sure.” Alexia nodded and looked around. “We will need some better furniture, these chairs are uncomfortable enough in classes, no one would want to sit in them while relaxing.” she pouted.

“Yeah, but like how could we afford any kind of furniture, Alexia? We have a really low budget for the common room project and painting the wall could cost a lot of money.” she sighed. 

“I can help if you want.” Eliott said suddenly, drawing all the attention towards himself. He was glad that seemingly his self-confidence was only lacking when he was in Lucas’ vicinity. “I know a place where we can get cheap, but good quality paint, plus I can try making something cool with it.” he offered. Out of the three of them, Daphné looked the most excited, almost jumping onto the boy in front of her, but thankfully Alexia stopped her immediately. Eliott shot her a grateful look and she smirked at him. 

“That is such a nice thing of you.” Daphné chimed, still having the bright smile on her face. “We will figure out things first, but I will contact you.” she said excitedly and handed Eliott her phone to type in his number. He took it and did just that, giving it back with a soft smile. 

“But just for the record, I am helping because you girls look cool and funny. I am not trying to flirt.” he said on a serious tone, just to make things clear. He hated when some girls thought just because a guy is nice to you, he has to be in love with you. Alexia and Emma laughed at him, while Daphné looked just a little bit disappointed. 

“It’s okay, dude.” the blue haired girl spoke. “Thank you for the help anyways. We need every working hand here. This place is a mess.” she sighed as she looked around.

“It’s going to be so beauiful soon.” said the blonde one with a dreamy smile on her face. 

“I should get going, but we’ll be in touch, yeah?” he said now, smiling at the girls. 

“Sure, thank you again, Eliott.” Daphné said smiling. 

Eliott nodded and was ready to leave when the door opened, smacking him right in the face. He gasped and fell behind, grabbing a table to not land on the dirty floor, his backpack was hanging on his arm now and he was sure that he’s seeing stars. When his vision started to clear, all three girls rushing to him to help, asking questions, but the only face he could see was Lucas’. He looked so scared and worried, he wanted to say something, but he barely could focus his thoughts, head throbbing like he got hit by a bus. 

“Fuck...” he mumbled, rubbing his free hand on his forehead, gladly not finding any bruises.

“Shit, I am so sorry!” He heard Lucas’ voice, desperate and sweet at the same time. He took a deep beath and looked at him. 

“I’ll be fine,” he said honestly, the pain started to fade away, it was like remains of a bad headache, nothing more. 

“I didn’t mean to... I should have been more careful with the door.” he mumbled, face turning into a painful expression. 

“At least he’s not bleeding.” Alexia said, bringing in some positivity, which was appreciated by the taller boy, since he found it pretty hard to make up logical sentences. 

“But you really should be careful, Lucas.” Emma said. “That is a thick metal door, you could have broken his nose or something.” she said with a wondering face, staring at Eliott like he’s part of an exhibition. 

“Guys, I’m fine.” Eliott sighed and straightened up now, fighting back the dizziness he was feeling.

“I can take you to the nurse.” Lucas offered and he could feel his heart skipping a beat, his palms getting all sweaty. “I mean, I was the one smashing a door to your face.” he said with a nervous smile, scratching the back of his head. 

“He is right, you should take a nap.” Daphné said on a serious tone now, pushing Eliott towards Lucas slowly. He panicked only a little, but was excited too at the same time. He just nodded without saying anything and followed Lucas out of the common room. Thankfully the girls stayed inside, Eliott had just enough of them. They were sweet and all, but when your head hurts like a bitch and your crush is right there in front of you, the least you want is three girls observing you with knowing eyes. 

They walked quietly to the nursing room, Lucas staying right next to Eliott, keeping an eye on him in case he's going to faint. Most of the students were already in their classroom, so the halls were empty. The tall boy felt dizzy, but not just because of the head damage he got. It was hard to be so close to Lucas and not talk to him. He wanted to ask about what happened on the mass yesterday that upset him so much he needed to wake him up, how is he feeling today, but he couldn’t do it without busting himself. And he wasn’t ready for that, especially not after he got hit by a metal door. 

When they reached their destination, Eliott stopped, turning around to face Lucas. He slid his hands into his pockets, feeling nervous, but he had to talk before they are parting ways. Taking a deep breath he started. 

“Thanks for taking me here, I’ll be fine from now on.” he said, voice shaking just a little. Lucas looked into his eyes and he could still see a glimpse of guilt in them. “Hey, this isn’t your fault, okay?”

“Yeah, I still feel bad about it.” he shrugged and forced a little smile on his face. 

“Last time I was the one smacking my head into yours, so I think we’re equal.” he smiled which seemed to make the boy relax a little too, his smile looking more honest. 

“That’s true. You have a hard forehead for sure.” he mocked, playful sparks appearing in those beautiful eyes. Eliott loved to see him like this. 

“Well, I’m going now.” he said, placing his hand on the doorknob of the nursing room, looking at the short boy with uncertainity. 

“Yeah, take care an all.” Lucas smiled one more time before turning around and walking away. Eliott wanted to go after him, grab his arms and tell him the truth, but the resonable part of his mind was stronger. 

He walked inside, explaining the school doctor what happened to him. She was really kind, even though she said some weird shit and let Eliott rest on the bed for a few hours. At least he could skip classes, which wasn’t so bad considering that lately he felt anxious and uncomfortable. Even if he had Alex by his side on most classes, he still couldn’t get used to all the new surroundings. Now that it came to his mind, he sent a quick message to his classmate to let him know that he is okay, just going to spent some time at the nursing room. 

lucallemant I’m such a mess You will laugh at me

Eliott was surprised when he recieved the messages, but he also smiled like an idiot. His head wasn’t hurting so badly and the doctor was busy with organizing stuff in the storage, so he decided some texting won’t cause any trouble to him. 

srodulv Try me 

lucallemant I smacked someone in the face with a door  I wanna bury myself 

srodulv You can’t bury a national treasure  And how did that even happen?  Was that person talking shit about you? 

He barely could hold back his laugh, because right now he wasn’t nervous, he was very much alive and active, ready to tease Lucas to death. It was the best thing, helped him through some dark phases during the holidays too. 

lucallemant I just wanted to go to the common room There’s this girl, Chloé  She’s totally into me because I once kissed her 

srodulv EXCUSE ME? 

lucallemant I was fucking wasted and she was the one pushing things on me 

srodulv My heart is broken 

lucallemant Drama Queen 

srodulv You would like my friends, they keep saying the same shit to me 

lucallemant  I would love to join them and tease you all day long That sounds like fun

srodulv It’s not, they are annoying 

lucallemant  Oh, so now I’m annoying? 

srodulv I was talking about them, not you. 

lucallemant So, back to the topic about the guy and the door 

srodulv I’m all ears

lucallemant  So I wanted to hide from Chloé And as I entered the common room, I managed to hit the guy in the face with the door I was so embarrassed 

srodulv lmao You are such a mess

lucallemant I knew you’d be laughing at me! 

srodulv  How wouldn’t I? You smacked someone with a door  That’s hilarious

And he wasn’t lying, he found the whole situation hilarious, especially since he and Lucas both went to the common room because they tried to hide from someone. Eliott tried to avoid the short boy, while he wanted to get away from that Chloé girl. They were more alike than he would’ve thought.

lucallemant  He’s in the nursing room now  But the worst thing is it was the guy I met with on friday

srodulv And that’s bad because? 

lucallemant Because he’s hot

srodulv So that’s what you value the most? 

lucallemant  Of course not, don’t be fucking childish But I’m not made of stone!  If I see a hot guy, I melt  Simple as that 

srodulv What about me? 

lucallemant I don’t know how you look like  But I’m sure I would like you  Even if you’re fat and bold

Eliott couldn’t suppress his victorious smirk. It might not be a bad idea to tell Lucas who he was actually. Things might change, but that’s not necessary a bad thing.

srodulv Ahw, you are so sweet ❤️

lucallemant I gotta go to class Talk later? 

srodulv Talk later  Have a nice day at school ❤️

lucallemant You too ❤️ 

Eliott spent almost three hours in the nursing room, then he went back to his classes. Alex was really happy to see him, giving him a bone-crushing hug as a greeting. It was a bit overwhelming, but also endearing, since Eliott still felt really insecure in this new environment, so Alex was like a safe spot for him. Especially since all he felt around Lucas right now was pure nervousness. But that might change soon, who knows. 

At lunch he was sitting with Alex and some of his friends. He was mostly on his phone, waiting if Lucas wanted to chat with him, but it looked like the boy was busy. He looked around in the cafeteria, trying not to be too obvious, but he couldn’t see Lucas anywhere. When his eyes traveled back to the table, he met with his classmate’s shit-eating grin. He sighed.

“Okay, who is it?” Alex asked, just without playing around.

“What are you talking about?” he tried to play dumb, but he knew that Alex won’t buy his bullshit. He might be looking like an idiot sometimes, but he was actually very smart and observant. 

“Eliott.” he tilted his head, tone demanding. The brunette sighed and ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, making a bigger mess out of it.

“I’m not telling you.” he muttered, not looking at his friend.

“Oh, so you’re not trusting me, huh?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so high that his hat slipped a bit back on his head. 

“It’s not that. The situation is kinda complicated.” he explained, rubbing his face into his palms. “I don’t wanna bring mess into his life.”

“Okay, so it’s a boy.” Alex stated with a happy grin. “I had an idea that you’re not straight.” he said proudly which made Eliott smile.

“I don’t like labels, you know. If a person is good for me, then I’m into that person, simple as that.” he shrugged.

“That’s cool, dude.” he said with an honest smirk on his face. “And you don’t have to tell me anything, but if you need someone, I’m here.” he continued now on a serious tone, reaching out to squeeze Eliott’s shoulder gently. The boy just smiled and nodded, enjoying that little gesture. Alex really was a great guy.

After school he went for a little grocery shopping, since he was aware that his fridge and cupboards were nearly empty. He got cereal, milk, honey, tea, pasta, rice, eggs and everything else he could be needing. When he was packing out the stuff in the kitchen, he felt his phone buzzing. He put the milk in the fridge before checking it, not being surprised that it was a message from his sweet, sweet boy. 

lucallemant I was thinking 

srodulv Thinking? You? That’s some serious shit 

lucallemant Oh, fuck off! 

srodulv If I fuck off, then who are you gonna talk shit to? 

lucallemant I’ll figure 

srodulv So what were you going to tell me? 

lucallemant You’re being an asshole  I don’t wanna tell 

srodulv Oh come on~ Lucas

Eliott sighed and leant his head on the fridge in front of him, smiling just a little. His little hedgehog was playing grumpy again. There wasn’t enough money on the world that he would pay just to see his face at this exact moment. It must be very cute. 

srodulv Hey, tell me please  Lucas~  My baby hedgehog~ I’m sorry, okay Lucaaaas

lucallemant Asshole... 

Eliott smirked after posting the picture and decided to record a voice message too, it might be a bit dangerous considering that Lucas talked to him before, but he was hoping that his little hedgehog will be oblivious like always. He raised his phone to his mouth, whispering into the mic.

“Hey, my sweet baby hedgehog. I’m begging for your forgiveness and I promise I won’t be an asshole. Please forgive me. Kisses.” he whispered on a soft voice, making a smooch sound at the end, smirking like an idiot as he sent it. He was waiting in patience, but he was dying that he couldn’t see the boy’s face as he listens to the record. He literally jumped when he finally recieved a response. 

lucallemant Fine  I forgive you 

srodulv ❤️

lucallemant That voice record was unnecessary though

srodulv Did you blush? 

lucallemant Pffff No 

srodulv You did, didn’t you?  Ahhhwww ❤️ 

lucallemant You wanna start this over? 

srodulv Nope, I’m listening 

lucallemant So you remember when we talked about parallel universes, right? 

srodulv Of course  How could I forget 

lucallemant I was thinking...  How cool it would be if you had been transfered to our school  We could hang out and all 

srodulv  How did that come from? 

lucallemant I feel kinda lonely  There are so many things that my friends don’t know 

srodulv  About your mom? 

lucallemant About me  That I’m gay...  I mean, Yann might be suspecting something But I have never told them face to face 

srodulv  I think I have a confession to make 

lucallemant What are you talking about? 

srodulv Don’t be mad at me, okay? 

lucallemant Why would I be mad? 

Well, I almost gave you guys angst, but I decided to take this one to a lighter tone, making it more of a FUNfiction. So Elu flirting shamelessly still, Eliott got a door to his face, he met the girls, his friendship is forming with Alex! Make sure to leave comments in my inbox or on Ao3. And sorry that it took so long! Bisou

[ficsandpieces]

Hi there! I love your writing it gives me life, especially your papa headcannons for QN. Could I get ♔ for Ai x Reader but with a twist where it's like their s/o borrowed a shirt and their son wanted to wear dads shirt too cause mommy got to do it and dads clothes are best so they're both wearing them when he comes home?

No Anon, YOU gave me life with this ask URGH SO CUTE I CANNOT, THANK YOU ANON, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME DIABETES OVER THIS

You were trying to show your toddler how to fold the laundry but your son seemed more interested in burrowing into the pile of warm, freshly washed clothes than learning a mundane but essential life skill.

Poking his head out of the pile, he held out his arms.

“Look, Mommy,” he grinned, the collar of the t-shirt he had pulled over his head slipping over one shoulder. “I can wear your clothes now!”

“I think it’s still a little too big for you,” you laughed, lifting him out of the pile. “Maybe a few more years and it’ll fit better.”

“How long’s a year?”

“Many, many days.”

“What about Daddy’s clothes? How many more days ‘til I can wear those?”

“Even more days than a year,” You pinched his nose playfully, your t-shirt now off him and folded in your lap.

“That’s too long,” Your son grumbled, chubby cheeks puffed up in a pout as he climbed into your lap and flopped into your stomach, the t-shirt you just folded displaced by his actions. “I don’t wanna wait that long.” After a while, he sat up again and tugged at the shirt you were wearing.

“Mommy, you smell like Daddy.”

“Really?” Your cheeks slightly pink at being called out by your toddler, you picked him up and sat him down properly between your legs. “I wonder why.”

Insistent on uncovering the truth, your son turned around again and pulled at your top with both hands this time.

“You’ve got the wrong shirt on, Mommy! This one belongs to Daddy!”

“Oh, you’re right,” You feigned ignorance, your hands raised to your cheeks in mock surprise but in reality to hide the blush that was spreading rapidly. You had no idea why you were being embarrassed in front of your own son. “I must have gotten them mixed up. How careless of me.”

“Aren’t you going to change?” The innocent stare of the toddler in front of you was enough to make you mentally clutch your chest and feel strangely indecent for stealing one of Ai’s shirts just to feel closer to him while he was away.

“I’ll do it later. I’m sure Daddy won’t mind.”

“Daddy doesn’t mind sharing his clothes?”

Memories of Ai bluntly insisting that you wear his clothes everywhere when he was going through a jealous phase once made you want to hide your face in your hands again.

“I think so?”

“Then I want one too!” Standing up from your lap, he ran over to the pile of laundry which seemed to be resigned to the fate of never being put away and begun digging through it.

“Aww, you don’t want to wear Mommy’s clothes anymore?” You watched him pull out one article of clothing after another, t-shirts and pants sliding across the floor as he pushed them away.

“I want Daddy’s now,” Holding up one of Ai’s shirts, he sat down on the floor and struggled to pull the t-shirt he was wearing over his head. “It’s not fair if only Mommy gets to wear them.”

You affectionately ran your fingers through your son’s messy hair as he finally managed to get his shirt off and begun the monumental task of putting his arms through the sleeves of the large shirt he had just appropriated, his face furrowing in a frown as he poured in all the concentration and effort of his three years into it.

“Why do you like Daddy’s clothes so much anyway?”

He cocked his head to the side and gave you a look which was so much like Ai’s that you melted almost instantly.

“Cos it’s Daddy’s.”

He was now trying to pull on the other sleeve and failing miserably at it. He looked up at you, his large eyes filling with tears as the over-sized shirt pooled around him.

“It doesn’t fit,” he whimpered, his lips trembling as he held out his arms towards you pitifully. “I can’t wear it, Mommy…”

Scooping him up in your arms, you quickly soothed your teary child. “Let’s see what we can do, okay?“

By the time you were done folding and buttoning and tying Ai’s shirt around your son you were convinced that one, you had the qualifications to be an origami master, and two, this particular shirt was definitely going to have to go through the wash again. You had no idea how you were going to explain to Ai why this shirt of his was so horribly crumpled and even sticky in places where your toddler had bitten it out of frustration. Somehow, you had the feeling that the explanation of “our son got mad that I was wearing one and he wasn’t” would only raise more questions.

Looking down at himself then back up at you, the wide grin that your son gave you made you feel that all of the time and effort earlier had been worth it.

“We match with Daddy now, Mommy!”

“We do, don’t we?”

His mood restored, your child ran off, almost tripping over the long tail of the shirt you had taken so much effort to tie around him. You were gathering up the poor remains of the original pile of laundry when the television suddenly switched on and Ai’s visage filled the screen. Shocked, the clothes fell from your hands back on to the floor.

Your son padded back to stand in front of you, the television remote in his hands.

“Daddy’s on TV again!”

You nodded, secretly relieved that your television wasn’t possessed after all.

“Yes, well, that’s where he is most of the time these days,” you answered dryly. The meaning of your words going right over his head, your son placed the television remote on the ground and begun to bounce in place in time to the cheery music coming from the TV.

“Happy happy happy, nabigashion~” You couldn’t help but laugh as your child did his best to sing along to the song to the best of his three-year-old abilities, his little arms flailing as he shook his baby bottom in time with Ai’s movements on the screen.

“Dance with me, Mommy?”

Throwing your embarrassment to the wind, you got up and gamely played along, holding your toddler’s hands. Infected by his childish enthusiasm, you tried your best to mimic Ai’s movements on the screen as well, you and your son’s laughter filling the house.

You were so caught up in playing along with your son that when an arm suddenly encircled your waist and the last line of lyrics was sung clearly into your ear, you jumped and shrieked in shock. Your mood plunged as Ai, his face too close to yours, gazed at you in open amusement.

“Daddy! Daddy’s home!” Bending to pick up his excited son, Ai easily balanced him on one arm, his other arm immediately returning around your waist to prevent you from escaping.

“I’m home. I see that the two of you have been entertaining yourselves while I was away.”

“Daddy look, look! I can wear your shirt now!” Your son proudly showed off what he was wearing. “I don’t have to wait days and days and years!”

“Oh?” Ai hummed in acknowledgement. “That’s great. I’m very impressed. Did Mommy help you with that?”

“Yeah! Mommy started it!” Your hand was too late in covering your child’s mouth as he happily pointed out the one thing you were hoping to hide. The look that Ai turned on you at this revelation was enough to make you redouble your futile efforts to run and bury yourself somewhere out of sheer embarrassment.

“Did she now?” You helplessly tried to push his head away as he purposely leaned down to inspect what you were wearing. 

“I clearly remember how reluctant you were when I asked you to wear some of my clothes before we got married.” The smirk lighting up his face was annoyingly devastating on your heart. “It’s nice to see that you’ve had a change of mind. I suppose this means that you’ll be doing it more often?”

Then his mouth was right next to your ear.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Bonus! Ai’s jealous period before marriage:

Ai looked up as you exited the bathroom, his bathrobe a little too big on you. You were about to head out of the room when he spoke up.

“Your clothes are still in the wash, so you’ll have to make do with my pajamas again tonight.”

You stopped and eyed him suspiciously.

“That’s what you said this morning as well. There’s no way a wash cycle takes that long.”

“The washing machine stopped halfway through the day,” He matched your look of pure disbelief with one of nonchalance. “That’s why it’s taking so long. It can’t be helped.”

You could clearly see in your mind the image of Ai deliberately pausing the washing machine halfway through its task and setting it to switch on again right before you came back.

Standing up, he took from you the clothes that you had borrowed from him (or to be more precise, that he had forced on you) to wear out that day and pushed a set of his pajamas into your hands.

“Go and get changed. I’ll wait for you to go to bed together.”

“Ai,” you looked up at him wearily. “You don’t have to do this. We’ve already been together for so long, there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why should I be worried about anything?” The look on his face showed that he knew you were fully aware that he was lying through his teeth though. “I am very secure about our relationship as it is right now.”

You raised a doubtful eyebrow at him but decided to let it go for today.

“Besides, my clothes are going to get worn out if this goes on.”

“I’ll buy you a new set then. Or you can just continue wearing mine,” Dropping a kiss on your forehead, he turned you around by the shoulders and gently pushed you back into the bathroom. “Go on.”

Sighing in silent defeat, you helplessly did as he said, not knowing that he had already prepared for you another set of his clothes to wear the next day and which was simply ready and waiting for you in his closet.

[medi-melancholy]

i’ve been really coming to terms the past few months about my relationship with gender identity and i want to put some of my thoughts on paper. this is is very steam of consciousness so it’ll probably be repetitive or incoherent, but i want to talk about it openly. I PROMISE I’M OK LMAO i just wanna chat to myself

anyone who knows me knows i love dolls. hell, i’m dollkin, of course. and a big part of why i identify with dolls so much is because of physical reasons. a doll can be physically neutral without any sexual characteristics, yet perceived as leaning more towards a certain gender based on how they’re dressed. a ‘girl’ doll may wear dresses and bows and such, but has no true physical gender. if that ‘girl’ doll wanted to, they could be dressed more like a ‘boy’, or stay completely neutral perception-wise. hell, they could wear dresses and bows and skirts and be identified as a boy or as having no gender, in spite of traditionally ‘feminine’ clothing.

i LOVE that. that’s like... an ideal situation to me.

i think another reason i identify so much with the lack of physical gender/sexual traits the vast majority of dolls possess is because i’m asexual and quite sex-repulsed. the thought of ever being around a naked person makes me sick, because i just reeeally don’t want to see any of those parts. i don’t even like seeing my own parts most of the time. i just want to be... nothing.

a lot of my hatred for parts of my body likely relates to my struggles with disordered eating and chronic illness, but that’s an issue for another time.

i would love to have the ability to be neutrally gendered by default. i technically can be if i want to! but because i have ‘female’ physical characteristics, people will pretty much always automatically assume that i am female. i understand it’s an issue to say something like... “having a chest and hips = female!” because that’s absolutely not true, i understand that. but to someone who desires to fit society’s view of what is female, having those characteristics is valuable. yknow?? so it’s not like... an entirely bad concept, if it helps someone be more comfortable and happy with who they are.

by that same token, i bind (safely!) every now and then because i want to be lacking in those physical characteristics, and therefore hopefully perceived as more neutral. hell, i’ve crossdressed before and presented as male for historical reenactment purposes, and i LOVE IT. i love having the freedom to control my gender. it feels so good.

it was easier when i was younger, when i wasn’t curvy. when i kept my hair very short due to abuse, and could easily pass as ‘male’.

these days i spend a lot of time dressed as a stormtrooper or a tie fighter pilot, neutral costumes with helmets with conceal my gender. i cherish the moments i have in those sorts of costumes, largely in part because in those moments it’s not my gender that matters but instead the children i bring joy to, but i digress. there’s certainly a theme with my feelings, though.

i end up feeling most comfortable cosplaying characters of unconventional gender presentation, i’ve noticed.

i had my phase around middle school where i hated the color pink, i hated traditionally feminine things, i never wore skirts or dresses, i wanted the color blue, i wanted pants. i felt weird and out of place trying to fit into ‘girly’ roles. it’s weird to think i was ever in that place, considering my interests now, but it sure did happen. i think a lot of this time might relate to me coming to terms with my sexuality--being asexual, and the struggles of having sexual characteristics--and also realizing i really REALLY like girls. my subconscious thought process might’ve been something like, “boys like girls, and i like girls, so maybe i should be more like a boy?”

i grew up, thank god, in a household that didn’t force me into playing house, playing with dolls, all that stuff. i was welcome to play with whatever toys i wanted, watch whatever shows appealed to me, listen to whatever music i liked. so, i had both barbies and transformers, i had bratz and star wars, i had a mix of ‘girly’ and ‘boyish’ music and movies i enjoyed. i was certainly bullied for this, harshly so, but i’m eternally thankful that my parents have been accepting of me ever since day 1.

for many years i’ve had trouble identifying with being afab, with being a girl, because of my body. i have a hormone imbalance of some sort that does fucked up things to my mind and body, and i suspect i have some sort of issue with, well, the girly internal hardware too, but i’ve been horrified to go to a specialist about that sort of thing because i HATE talking about... those parts, it’s making me feel sick right now. i don’t want anyone looking around down there, EVER.

anyways, my hair grows in absurdly fast and absurdly thick, everywhere, even before i felt pressured to start shaving as a kid. my legs, arms, pits,eyebrows, just everywhere. even my face, i do have to shave my face. it’s... invalidating, i guess, of my supposed ‘womanhood’, so i find myself having trouble calling myself a real girl. i know hair is a natural thing, and i NEVER ever judge other people for it, but i do judge myself.

i’ve often described my feelings as... i want to be a girl, i know on some level that i am a girl. but i’m physically NOT a girl, and i only want to strive for feminine physical traits in some ways, not in others.

it’s a very weird, depersonalizing feeling, considering i’m afab.

there’s also the fact i’m like 6 feet tall, that’s certainly not a ‘girl’ trait. “no one will dance with a tall girl”, the saying goes. i’m leggy and gangly and weird. and somehow curvy at the same time. i look like a joke lol

i wanna mention that i had a phase in high school where if any of my friends asked me what my gender was, i’d just pull up a clip of a la cucaracha horn. that’s still such a huge mood.

ever since i was a kid, i’ve found myself drawn to characters who are androgynous or don’t conform to typical gender presentation, and i’ve never really known why. i figured, maybe that’s my idea of beauty or something? i hate to word it like this but i like... really found myself attached to male characters that presented femininely, or dressed as such, or wear lots of makeup, and i still feel that way? that just feels so safe, so comfortable, so real to me. that’s reflected in my IDs/kintypes too, i really really relate to gender neutral characters, or characters who are ‘supposed to’ be masculine but are feminine instead, or any combination, just... nontypical displays of gender.

it feels so suitable to what i want in life, i think. the same feeling i want to achieve.

funny that pretty much every single character i identify with is a doll/puppet or related to them in some way, too, huh? it all sorta connects, i guess. i value the nonhuman trait of having no definitive physical gender, i guess?

i’ve had people suggest to me before that i’m a demigirl, maybe, but that never felt right. i’ve had people say “hey, sounds like you’re nonbinary” but i just... don’t feel right with that term? just for me personally.

it’s almost like i don’t want to label my gender. it feels so vague, so indistinguishable.

girl a little bit to the left. girl flavored la croix. the tape outline of a corpse at a crime scene, and the corpse happened to be a girl. hint of hint of girl. i don’t feel that all the time, though. sometimes i just feel.. an absence of gender. no gender but with vaguely feminine traits.

at the same time, i worry myself about identifying as a lesbian. i’m only interested in dating people who identify as female, that’s who i end up attracted to. i want a girlfriend, i want a wife.

but if i’m not entirely a girl myself, can i still call myself a lesbian?

well, i’ve never judged or policed other people, so why the fuck am i judging myself? we really are our own worst critics.

anyways, within my close circle of friend-family, i’ve been going by they/them for a while and also neutral terms, for the most part. it feels good, it feels comfortable. it’s not something i’m gonna want 24/7, but sometimes that’s how i’m feeling so that’s the terminology i should use. makes sense, feels good.

i can still be a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend. but i can be a sibling, a datefriend, too. i can use she/her and they/them at the same time, or whenever i’m feeling one over the other

the closest word i’ve found for how i feel is gender nonconforming, but i still don’t want to put a label on myself in this case.

i just wanted to get this off my chest. or... get my chest off. it’s complicated.

you can call me sarah, you can call me medi, you can call me a person who is a girl, a person who’s sort of a girl but sorta not. i dunno. i’m just me.

i thought i had all my identify stuff figured out but these past few months have been Whew

shoutout to my friends for always being so supportive and loving, yall are the best. 

and uhhhhhh thanks for reading, sorry for getting so real all of a sudden.

this may have been brought on because i have a new doll kintype whose gender is a fuck and i was like shit, that’s me, huh!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Im playing my online farming game and I hear "come on guys. Let's go. Time to quit playing around. Mom has people waiting -- like the whole world for our results"

Well it's been 7 hours since the last update and about 6 since they got that larger batch going

Chasity: the UV is doing better than i expected, I'm pleasantly surprised but it's also worse than i thought.

So she explains to me that it is easy to kill but it develops very quickly as it ages but its not harder to kill. Like a fine wine it goes down quick.

Chasity: mom you play too Much. So as it ages it does become slower to kill but it's not easier nor harder just longer.

Me: that's weird

Chasity: yep. We had several different people test it. And the results were all the same But it was milliseconds however we are spraying directly onto a a Petri dish, an antiseptic/antiviral/antibacterial that is prescription for lab use only and so in real life out in the air we don't know the actual results as far as in time - at this time. But we are only 12 hours into the testing phase -- first we had to confiscate the correct virus -- which we did about midnight last night but we didn't really want to test it unless there was an interest and to prove the "PRESIDENT" wrong is an interest. At least for us here in this lab. Because we Are scientist and not idiots. And so to find out how about air we have to spray it into a confined room we have here in the lab and it will show how fast it dies airborne or if it remains air borne past the allowable spray. So like is it just sprayed then falls like the one mom had created (on "accident" through George Bush) so its not airborne or does it remain air borne like the COVID and COVID-19. which once again if you have COVID-19 you cannot get COVID, I've tested it here in this lab they do not interact -- mom what do you call it? A one way window?

Me: yeah because i tried to explain the one way pathway but George Bush didn't understand... He doesn't understand that blood flows one direction through the body from left to right he just thinks the blood goes back and forth in the same blood tube. Like a two way street and so he argued with me and so i explained it as a one way and two way window and he was all "the only one getting arrested here is you. I've proved I'm not smart enough to do all this! Twice!! Just to you!" And he leaned over the table And whispered "And all my life to the secret service" he makes it fun to screw him over to make the perfect virus to kill aliens. To get them off our planet. But to keep humans safe!! And so yes one way mirror.

Chasity: oh that is too funny. That is all i wanted to hear you say, that hes dumb. Your memory is perfect!

Me: so how is the humidity going?

Chasity: sucks fast growing and not easy to kill. But! It does die in about 5 whole seconds and not milliseconds like the UV

Me: so people should feel safe to hang their clothes on the line?

Chasity: oh yeah! Exactly! But they should know the virus can spread in the sun and the UV aka sun won't kill them but it should be safe if it's not like apartment living and its in a private location. It would be better watched to dry in the sun with a fan on an extension cord in a barricaded outdoor place and if you hear someone cough while your clothes are outside you should spray Lysol for at least 2 seconds immediately directly onto the clothes. At least that's what I would do, stay outside with them listening for a cough or discreet spray from a hoodlum or terrorist which is the same now a days. While reading a book and catching some rays myself with sunscreen and sunglasses of course -- in the privacy of my own yard which is allowed even in Spain.

Wendy: so what is the safety? I'll answer that myself. Very very bad. The one mom had was very digital and not many were getting sick from just the Corona. This one however is very bad in just the way it makes any one everywhere very sick and the rate it multiplies. Mom waited too long to close the labs but she stopped one that was 10 times worse and presumed to kill within hours if not just a few days. Like 3 or 4 immediate death. This one now isn't designed to kill, its like mom's. But this one she stopped on Tuesday was like COVID But for every one. It was true Hell. Luckily JuJu pissed her off and she ordered it closed. Otherwise my dad would be dead and probably millions if not billions. They had the orders up,boxed and ready to ship, they just wanted to test on a human first -- my dad.

Long story short. JuJu was the test dummy..

Wendy: yeah! And he died in 4 short hours! My dad wouldn't even had time to get home and would died in his car on the road and it would looked like a generic car accident! So yeah fuck JuJu. I'll kick his ass.

Me: sounds like you did

Wendy: no that was you! Once you posted he committed suicide he knew it was a cover up Because you were just going to have him murdered so he just drank it on his own. That's what i saw.

Me: he hates women so much he committed suicide so that i couldn't have the honor of killing him. Well he only proved women are always right which has Always been my fight with him. Well we won in the end! Hoorah!

Wendy: like 17 people committed suicide that night!

Chasity: Mostly by poisons. They didn't wanna go to jail And wanted control over their own death.

Me: over all death. That's why we always tried to stop them but that was dam sneaky on JuJu

Chasity: he said it was an antidote mom so we didn't know what to do

Me: don't listen to the lab people. I said there is no cure.

Chasity: but for the Corona because we knew there was a new variant for the President of the United State's request because he's mad he is going to die of COVID. I told y'all we needed a human!

Me: well just kill any thing the Corona Variant 2 is mild

Chasity: just a wet cough. But dad got it worse than you so we we're kinda scared.

Me: well i got it at Allsups and I'm nearly over it. As long as i take cough medicine. And fever. Its less than the modern day cold and flu. Corona is literally a joy to have over regular sinus infections and bronchitis. Shit i been sick from that crap they've let loose on their labs. For months sick. This is a wonder virus. So nice to have compared to 2013 and 2014. There was no emergency anything but the cold medicine aisle was wiped out all kinds. People were sick and dying! This? I'm all sleep for awhile, cough take medicine and that's it.

Chasity: yeah well dad had it really bad i thought he was going to die

Me: but he was working out exercise and working and

Chasity: doing cardio and all. See dad? You should stay with mom. She would take care of you. Stay in bed and have chicken soup, a few push ups and repetitive weights and back to bed. You don't have to reply but I hope you're listening.

Brian: shit she takes care of me like I'm a beast! Don't touch me! Breathe over there! We will lay back to back so you know I'm here but no breathy stuff. You want sex? Die first So i don't catch what you got then come back to life after. She is funny tho. I don't mind her so much. That last time i was sick and she was with me i was all "i feel great let me go running!" Then i went back and begged her to never let me do that again!

Chasity: you wanted to die huh?

Brian: she put me in a cool bath and I fell asleep. And I woke up and she was adding hot water. Which made me sleep more. But she left me in there alone while I was asleep! She said I was too tall to drown unless she tried to kill me so she just stopped any one but the little girls from going in. But she covered me with a towel so they couldn't see my junk in the front. And i thought it was a blanket and I was all "oh she's so sweet to bring me a blankie. What the fuck! It's wet who did this to me?! Oh that water is hot. Ouch. Good thing I'm asleep that ain't me. I always turn my own water on. No girl would bathe me. Just ask JuJu Bee. Im too ugly but then again she tells,him she calls him that because bees only sting once and Then they die and she's been stung and she's just waiting for him to die and JuJu because there's no Jesus for what he's done and over all jujuBe candy is good for nothing with no nutrient value and he should shut his face or she's gonna kick it in. What a chick. Hand me that wet towel back I'm getting cold" and you know she told me "it's hot you can't tell the difference of the temperature and the towel is in your lap you never handed it out. But some things you see in your dreams are real. Your body just doesn't know it." And I seriously woke up and I shrieked "are you trying to burn me like in that book with the grandma? You're trying to burn my balls off?!?" And I heard all this laughter but I saw her face looking directly at me not at all amused but slightly sad and I got really scared "why are you such a nightmare?!?!" I seriously shrieked and i thought she would cry but she started to laugh and she got up from the edge of the tub and suddenly a rubber ducky started to float in the tub and I grabbed her arm and said "no babe look!! Did you turn into a duck?!?! No I'm grabbing your arm what am I thinking?!" And she looked down into my eyes real deep like she does and she says "you're real beautiful don't you know?" And i let go of her arm "go on go pee. But what is that laughing you have a tape recorder or something?" She said she wished because it wasn't funny then but she knew she would laugh later. Finally she told on them two, Annabelle and Declan because she adjusted the towel and I was getting ready to throw it out but she shrieked then "no!! You need it to cover up for the kids!" And I said "well where are they?" And she moved her head slightly to the left and motioned me to shh. So i pretended to be a sea monster with a pink towel over my waist and scared the dickens out of them both. Declan looked at me in horror and said I was no fun! Me! Me! Of all people. After i was nearly pissing in my tub talking in my sleep. Shit. I knew i said some bad stuff but all i could think was that it was about sex and murder. Luckily the words that came out were sober compared to what was in my head which was drunk with power.

Chasity: so you're seriously thinking it won't be so bad then? To live with mom then with me?

Brian: I mean well..yeah now JuJu is dead and so is a lot of other people it might be a possibility.

Chasity: because dad this is really important to me So don't mislead me.

Brian: well she's not So bad... She's just a lot of work!

Me: you are a lot of work. You want to treat me like a baby and do everything

Brian: No like you're a doll! But you talk back! Sheesh! A lot too I might add! That makes the work double because then i got to think!

Me: well you don't seem to listen too badly.

Brian: Oh wow! What a compliment! That is a compliment isn't it?!

Me: yeah

Wendy: im Peter Pan's wife do you remember me? Dad you need to grow up and get a wife. Quit being a bachelor. The look isn't good on you. Or on mom. Do you hear?

Brian: yeah i hear. I am listening.

Wendy: okay good. In conclusion of the virus growth we will get back to you tomorrow, general public. And dad we hope you grow over night just as Much. Mom's been typing just over an hour and no major changes to report but now we need to get the room ready and we will have that report tomorrow. Dad thanks for the talk. We always enjoy the Tales of the Man Dressed in a Pink Towel in the Bathtub.

[vskpop]

August 2017 ⋅ Enerzetic

Gashina - Sunmi

It’s true across most big companies that we will never get to see what their artists actually want to do until they either have enough power to make their own decisions, or they leave the company entirely. While Yeeun has always been the clear breakout act within Wonder Girls, and the only one with some space to do her thing, I have been waiting for Sunmi to have a decent solo career ever since 24 Hours.

Sunmi had a bunch of writing and composing credits in the last two Wonder Girls album, so it’s not a surprise that she knew exactly what she wanted to do and how to do it as soon as she moved away from JYP. If Gashina is anything to go by, full creative control for Sunmi is everything I didn’t know I wanted. It’s catchy and sexy, which we knew she could pull off, but also incredibly weird and out of the box. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Following - Hyuna

Last year, Hyuna’s comeback was an exaggeration of all her defining elements, and not in a good way. It came out in the first moments of a very very bad phase for Cube Entertainment, a phase they haven’t left behind yet. After the excellent Triple H project, it’s nice to see Hyuna build on her past work rather than staying exactly where she was thematically and musically.

While the central idea of title song Babe is kind of weird - she feels younger and younger because of her love interest, to the point that she feels like a baby - I like that for once Hyuna didn’t have to put  all her effort into being sexy, and looks happy and carefree in the music video and in the live performances.

Babe has catchy parts, but doesn’t shy away from its weirder, more meandering parts. It’s definitely a dance song, but there is more to it: even if the song is about feeling younger, Hyuna is growing up as an artist and can do more than straightforward party tracks.

While A’wesome sounded like a collection of random leftovers from other projects, Following sounds like a cohesive piece of work that shows all different aspects of Hyuna, now a grown-up with control over her releases; after years of collaborating on her songs’ lyrics, she has composition credits as well this time.

Party and Purple mix the party atmosphere of older Hyuna classics with the voices of Cube’s newest acquisitions, Pentagon’s Wooseok and E’Dawn. Dart and Mirror might be trendier, but they are the real gem of this album: both songs are performed by Hyuna in her actual singing voice rather than her high-pitched tough lady voice.

It’s really special that Hyuna and Sunmi are promoting at the same time: the two Wonder Girls alumnae (even though Hyuna’s experience as a WG was quite short) show that there is a life on the other side of a girl group, and that women idols can find their own voice in an industry that doesn’t particularly want them to.

  White Night - Taeyang

There is a fringe of k-pop fans that is absolutely obsessed with establishing scientifically that their favourite is the best singer in terms of technique. I have never seen this kind of morbid obsession in Western pop music, but it does make me laugh to see people spending so much energy on letting everyone know that Taeyang is a bad singer.

Bad technique or not, I think Taeyang is one of the most charismatic, emotional singers in k-pop. This comeback is quintessential Taeyang for me: both Darling and Wake Me Up are sweeping, emotional songs that sucker punch the listener with the insane expressiveness of Taeyang’s voice.

I think this is the first time that instead of pairing a dance song and a ballad, Taeyang chose to go with two slower songs. I’m not huge on very samey comebacks, but the pairing of Wake Me Up and Darling really allowed him to show all of his strengths, and probably to save all his choreo energy for the huge tour he’s embarking on.

It’s also interesting to consider that both Taeyang and G-Dragon, who are celebrated for their danceable or more hard-hitting songs, went with ballads for their comeback. It’s obvious that G-Dragon’s circumstances were forced (and that his original plan was different), but I like seeing that they have reached a point in their career where they can do something that feels close to their heart rather than something that is easier to sell.

I think it will be hard for Taeyang (or anyone) to ever put out an album that’s better than Rise, but White Night is as good as I expected to be. The only song that’s an obvious dance single is Naked, which would have never ever been picked because it would have never been aired on Korean TV with the lyric “I want you naked”. As usual, his intros should be whole songs and he knows it - so much that this time he made a music video for the intro to White Night this time around.  

Since this might be Taeyang’s last comeback before his enlistment (although I secretly think and hope we will get one more GD x Taeyang), I was terrified of how it would turn  out, and I was honestly just relieved that he managed to go through an entire album without any gross cultural appropriation. Even though I still don’t want him to go on a two-year hiatus, I think I can be happy (and by happy I mean rolling in my own tears listening to White Night) with how he closed this chapter in his career.

Our Twenty For - Winner

It will take me some time to get used to Winner having regular comebacks instead of disappearing for 18 months at a time. I’m glad to see that their new four-member incarnation is finding success shedding their mid-tempo image and throwing themselves into the latest trends.

Winner used the obvious title song (the one that sounded like Really Really) as the b-side of their comeback. Island has the staples of every other tropical track, but is made a bit less predictable by avoiding the drop and going with a chorus that’s a bit less formulaic than Really Really’s. I have to admit that it’s my favourite song between the two; the video is so gorgeous and romantic, and the song is the perfect halfway point between hype and chill.

The actual song that was promoted, Love Me Love Me continues the tradition of Winner singles with a repeated title (after Really Really and Baby Baby) but switches things up again in terms of sound. When everyone else is stuck in a labyrinth of EDM trends, they looked in a different direction and put out a disco-inspired song. It’s similar enough to Really Really in structure, but it’s a signal that new Winner is ready to experiment and maybe is not so set on a new identity yet.

If there’s something that I appreciate about Winner, it’s that their lyrics aren’t made up of the same three sentences of the average love song; they actually express feelings that people in their twenties would have, like the apparently very controversial line “I want to mix it up with you on the sofa”. They are corny enough to sell, but not so much that thinking about what they’re actually saying makes me cringe.

Winner have always focused on ballads; it’s interesting to see how they still clung onto a slower song in their first new-formation comeback, but they’ve entirely let go of it this time.

In a way, we are still looking what ‘color’ suits us best. ... I’d say right now, we are in round four (of 12 rounds in boxing).”  - 04/08/2017

For me, none of their songs has reached the levels of EXIT: E, but I appreciate seeing that they aren’t afraid to branch out and that YG is letting them.

Bonus: Island and Love Me Love Me acoustic version

1X1=1 (To Be One) - Wanna One

I am positive that the eleven weeks I spent sweating and crying over Produce 101 will be the last time I follow a Korean survival show (until the YG ones come around, that is). I was bound to be attached to Wanna One even after my favourite Samuel didn’t make it through just for the sheer amount of time I spent watching the show and following the drama and controversies around it.

The rumours that Produce 101 was rigged are unsurprising and, to be fair to Mnet, I do think that the final 11 members really create a fantastic team . After countless hours of performances and variety shows (you might sense that I’m a bit obsessed) I think they are one of the most well-balanced groups I’ve ever seen in terms of actual talent and personas/personalities.

While at this point I have my doubts that debut track Energetic was actually picked by the public and not by the managers of Wanna One, I think it’s the perfect debut song for them.

There is nothing crazily original in this song, but it capitalizes on all the best parts of Wanna One: charismatic dancers, top-notch vocalists, expressive rappers. It was clearly written knowing that capable people would perform it (if not exactly who would perform it), and that their parts didn’t need to be easy or muddled to cover their lack of skills. Mnet also managed to pull through and get a track written by Hui of Pentagon, who was behind the most successful Produce 101 original track, Never, pretty much guaranteeing the success of Energetic.

I am very impressed that Mnet managed to put together a video balancing a more cheerful, colourful vision of Wanna One with the edgier, blue-and-pink neon trend that has swept up “aggressive” k-pop groups. It really shows each member in their best light, and how the group will be able to switch genres and styles without looking out of place.

Seeing the music video for their second possible debut song Burn It Up makes it clear that there wasn’t a chance in hell that it would be the title track. Terrible editing and post-production aside, Burn It Up is a perfectly good song, albeit on the more banger-y side of k-pop trends, a style that Produce 101 never seemed to be particularly inclined towards.

I still really like the rapped pre-pre-chorus, and the distortion in the chorus felt like an interesting way to switch up the k-pop chorus formula that has been everywhere in the past couple of years (screamed title of the song + dance break).

Apart from the fact that it’s a bit conventional, Burn It Up would have really penalized the vocalists in Wanna One since it’s almost entirely rap or rap-singing, so I’m even happier that they went with Energetic.

The more I listened to it, the more I realised that there was another group that disappointed me lately and would have suited this song: it’s perfect for iKON, and I do hope that after their recent debacle they take a page from the Wanna One book and go for something similar to Burn It Up.

Wanna One have a sea of advantages over IOI, starting from the fact that they are men, so they aren’t expected to adhere to a cute, innocent concept. They are also benefitting from all the experience that Mnet and YMC gained from IOI’s failures and successes. Their debut is a million times better than the terrible Dream Girls, so I want to believe that all the other problems IOI had will be avoided this time around. I am really looking forward to the next 18 months with Wanna One.

Holiday Night - SNSD (Girls’ Generation)

In a year of underwhelming comebacks for SM artists, SNSD just reached a whole new level of disappointment for me: I’m furious that this half-assed comeback was their tenth anniversary. They have been working incessantly for ten years and this is what they got.

Considering their team must have been preparing this comeback at least since the end of the You Think/Lion Heart promotions in 2015, it’s quite shocking to see how uninventive and cheaply made their new round of “promotions” (more on that later) was.

I think most people agree that Party was a terrible song, so I can’t imagine why SNSD would double down on it with Holiday. The song is a decent b-side at best, and the styling is atrociously childish for a group of adult women; if Taeyeon hated Gee, I can’t imagine how she felt about this. I can hardly get past Hyoyeon’s rap, which is literally “You know I’m hot, hot, hot, hot”; SM could have at least gotten someone to write her decent lyrics.

All Night is a fun song, and with a much more current sound than Holiday. It does a good job mixing the bouncy atmosphere you’d want for a celebration and a sound that matches a group of women in their late twenties.

The video feels a bit strange - as if they had had to cut out some elements that were key to the narration and we were only seeing the leftovers. If I had to put my money on something, it would be that they had to cut out 90% of the footage with drag queens.

There is everything to hate about this comeback, still - the videos have clearly been shot on the cheap, and some of the costumes are just horrendous. Seeing this comeback in the context of the larger situation with SNSD, however, makes the subpar quality of Holiday Night one of the least important problems that the group and fans should have.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that SM is using organized-crime-level intimidation tactics to make the members renew their contracts: cutting their promotions short, refusing to reprint the album, sending them to schedules with no security, throwing out random contradicting news for media play…

I’ve read as much as possible about the situation (as much as a non-Sone can) and I honestly can’t imagine how being treated like this would make anyone reconsider the choice of leaving SM. I really wish the best to each of them, especially after they’ve worked so hard for ten years for a company that showed yet again that doesn’t give a shit about them.

Free’sm - CLC

The first thing I thought of when the Seonho teaser for CLC’s comeback was dropped was Reality from La Boum (the French film, not the Korean girl group).

Where Are You? is yet another sharp turn for CLC, coming from a “fierce” concept in their previous comeback with Hobgoblin. I wasn’t persuaded by the song straight away, but I ended up falling in love with the 80’s inspired sound and the strange, dreamlike, artsy music video.

I wasn’t so in love with the styling of the performance, which saw the still pretty young members wear outfits I wouldn’t wish to the last surviving second-generation girl group.

Free’sm sounds like a strange mix of bits that they had leftover from previous comebacks and from what they had in mind for them. There’s one tropical song, one hard hitting song, one cute song (that they ended up promoting), et cetera.

Lack of success has pretty much made CLC a directionless group since day one, but this comeback, especially with the promoted song switch in the middle of the promotion - from Where Are You? to cutesy Summer Kiss - really highlights how Cube Entertainment have literally no idea of what they should do with them.

I understand why they would want to try different things and see what sticks, but I don’t think that the constant flip-flopping between concepts will help them cement a fan base. Free’sm has sold about 1500 copies as I write, a pretty severe dip from the 4000-5000 of their previous albums - still an unsatisfactory number for Cube, but not as abysmal as what they did now.

After listening to the album over and over, I still wish that Cube had pushed through with the “tough” concept and had picked Call My Name or I Like It as the title track. Call My Name is trendy enough to be popular, and fierce enough to escape the cuteness. I would have picked I Like It as one of my favourite songs of the year if it wasn’t for the obnoxious chorus; Seunghee’s pre-chorus is just about perfect and I hope to see it live at some point.

With Pentagon hitting it big and Hui becoming a household name as a producer, as well as trainees Guanlin and Seonho making a splash on Produce 101, I can’t imagine that things will look up for CLC if they don’t turn their career around by mid-2018.

Sixteen - Samuel

It’s shocking to think that Samuel is at his nth debut and he’s only fifteen. He was supposed to debut in Seventeen (which is how I ended up following him), he was in the terrible 1Punch, he was on Produce 101 and narrowly missed being in the final group, and now he’s debuting again as a solo artist.

Despite how much I love him, I don’t think this was a very good idea. While it’s obvious that he’s talented and has been working hard for years, he’s still not the most well-rounded performer - which makes sense, since he has literally just turned 15.

The album is sort of neither here nor there for me; a lot of it felt really dated and I’m not sure if the autotune was meant to be a feature or just be covering up for Samuel’s vocal shortcomings. I didn’t mind the song with Chungha, but it’s still not something I would listen to again.

Being onstage by himself underlines Samuel’s limitations and I think he would give his best in a group, even just to share the pressure he seemed to be putting on himself during Produce 101. I hope that Brave manages to build a group around him in the coming months/years, because I can’t imagine this being sustainable for him.

Ever - Jeong Sewoon

I felt bad giving space to Samuel and not dedicating a single word to another of my very favourite Produce 101 contestants, Sewoon. Differently from Samuel, he always looked out of place in Produce 101, and like he didn’t really want to be there or be a idol.

I highly doubted Starship would be able to put together a group for him, but I was glad to see that at least for now he is getting a solo debut. The single Just U and the rest of the album exquisitely blend pop/trendy sounds and the more singer-songwriter identity that is Sewoon’s signature.

Ice Chu - Gugudan Ogu Ogu

While I was bound to watch everything this sub-unit would put out because of my eternal loyalty to Kang Mina, I wasn’t so sure I was going to like their debut concept. I don’t know if I would say I was “pleasantly” surprised, but the horrifying tortures they inflict on the ice-cream people in the video for Ice Chu really gave an edge to what I would struggle to define as a cute concept, at this point.

The hammering rhythm, the tiny voices, the cute-but-freaky concept really reminded me of the later songs of Orange Caramel (it’s more Catallena than Magic Girl). It was watered down just enough to be appropriate for Mina and Hyeyeon, who have just turned 18, but it’s all there. I love it.

MORE SONGS OF NOTE

Don’t Speak - Ali ft. Cheetah 

I’m OK - Cosmic Girl 

What Can I Do - DAY6 

Kiss Me - DIA 

Dumb Dumb (originally by Red Velvet) - Jang Jane, Giantpink, PERC%NT 

The Real - N.Flying

To Do List - Pentagon Kino and Hongseok

~42 - Primary ft. SAM KIM, eSNa

Love City - 9muses

STRAYS

Some more VCRs from Seventeen, always being totally perfect:

AKMU can make everything good/better:

WJSN covering BTS I Need You is EVERYTHING:

Queen Lee Hi sang 2ne1’s Come Back Home on JYP Party People:

Winner cover Wonder Girls’ Nobody on JYP Party People, what a time to be alive.

[zircnoniumjin-blog]

I Need My Yoongi

Cast: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 1.339 - Oneshoot

Sunday, 01.15 AM.

You can’t sleep.

You can’t stop starring the empty space beside you.

The bed feels bigger without him. Your life is empty without Yoongi by your side. Called yourself crazy cause now you’re using his long white shirt to keep you warm.

You miss the old times when ypu’re his whole world.  You need more pills to relieve your pain. You need more soju to let you fly.

Which one is good for tonight?.

“Pills. For tonight.”  

08.08 AM.  

After a week not seeing him at home, finally you see Yoongi sleep on the living room’s sofa. You walked closer to him.

You see his awful grey hair, messy ties, and you can smell an alcohol from his body but you see something that you shouldn’t see.

“He’s not using our wedding ring.”

You tried to get his cellphone and a surprise comes to you.  

“Thank you for tonight.“  A message from unknown number but you sure that’s from a girl.

Marriage life isn’t always good, this is just a phase and you sure can through this all with Yoongi.

It’s been three years you living together. It might be hard for Yoongi to face this hard situation to keep stay with me in a hard times. You tried to control your emotions for not crying in front of him.  You put your hand on his right cheek with a thousands times of thinking to slap him but your love for him not let you to do that.

His pale face such an angel. His pink lips just make it perfect.  

Suddenly Yoongi opened his eyes.  

"Good morning baby. ” You gave your sweet greeting smile to him like you know nothing at all.  Yoongi stared at you for a while and gave you his sweet smiles.  

“Where have you been?” You hand stroke his cheek gently and suddenly Yoongi kissed your lips.

Oh my goodness, you felt like the luckiest girl on earth.  Yoongi could make you feel like you’re his everything and nothing at the same time.  

“Let’s have a breakfast.”  Yoongi stopped kissing you and ignore your question.

“Pancakes?” You followed his rule and won’t forced him to answer.

“Sandwich."  

"No problem, baby.” He stood up and groped his pocket while walking to the bathroom. He found his wedding ring and put it on his finger. You saw it.

“I see that, baby.”

Again, he pretends not hear it.

While Yoongi is taking a bath,  you busy for preparing his sandwich.

“Should I give the sandwich a poison?.”

You just wanna let him die and let the hell burned him and begging you a sorry but you just can’t do that.

When everything is served, you sitting in the dining room, waiting for Yoongi to have a breakfast together.

Sandwich and his favorite coffee are ready.  

Yoongi drinks his coffee in a rush and bring the sandwich with him. He looks perfect with his black shirt and tight blue jeans.  

“Where are you going?” you asked.

“Everywhere, away from home."  

"This is Sunday.” I protested.

“So?”

“Peoples are staying at home on Sunday to have a quality time with family.”

“Do I have a family?”

“I’m your wife, Min Yoongi!” Our arguing is unavoidable. The sweet Yoongi is gone. Now turned into rude Yoongi.  

“I need some space.” Yoongi lower his voice.  

“How long?”

“I don’t know.”

“You can divorced me.” You can’t hold your tears when ‘divorce’ just came out from your mouth.  

“I won’t break my promise to my mom that I will always be your husband forever.”

“Your mother had died, you can break it."  

"I have to go.” Yoongi left you carelessly and you have to fight it with your self.

Five months ago Yoongi’s mom was died. Until now, he’s still blaming on you for it.  You, Yoongi, and his mother were living together until someday a bad things happened. You went to the market for buy some foods. When you came back to home, you saw Yoongi’s mom lying on the floor, unconscious. You called 911 but it was too late. Heart attack bring Yoongi’s mom to heaven.  Yoongi can’t face the truth that his mother had died and he keep blaming on you because he thought it was my fault to left her alone at home.  You just can’t hold any longer the cold and rude Yoongi.  

“Should I die?.”  

You take a box of soju to the living room. Those green bottle will let you forget about Yoongi for a while. When you’re enjoying your fourth bottle, suddenly you heard Yoongi’s phone ringing. Yoongi forgot to bring his phone.  

“Ah,  a message.”

“Where are you? I can’t wait to see you."

“The same unknown number text my Yoongi, my Yoongi is cheating on me. So it’s better for me to go away from him. I know Yoongi will be happy with that girl.”

You just keep murmured to relieve your sadness.

You flying high with your soju and you’re not in the right mind. You just wanted to go away from him forever. You can’t take it anymore.  

You breaking one of you soju’s bottle into a pieces.  You picked a piece of it and scratching it to your hand, really deep.  

“Even Yoongi’s words are more painful than this, I’ll see you in hell, Yoongi.” You smirked and a pleasure comes to you when you see blood around you.

You can see so much blood come out from your hand.  

Your vision began to blur, your body can’t handle your self anymore. You guess you’re lying on the floor. Flood by blood around you. It’s really hard to open your eyes. You feel really cold.

It’s really hard to breathe but suddenly you feel a little bit warm and you’re trying to open your eyes then you see someone is hugging you.  

"Y/n! Y/n! Wake up! What are you doing!” You heard someone is yelling on you and you can feel someone pat on my cheeks a million times.  

“Y/n,  y/n! Please wake up, don’t leave me alone!”

It’s Yoongi. My crybaby Yoongi. “Please, please forgive me.” Yoongi is begging on you. Again,  you feel like the luckiest girl on earth. You tried to stroke his cheek and say “I need you but I give up.”

“Please hold on, don’t leave me.. I love you.”

Maybe this is what people called heaven. I might be already in heaven. I can’t open my eyes.

Monday, 06.09 AM.

Feels like you’re waking up from a nightmare. You look around and there is a bandage at your right hand, an IV needle at your left hand connected with a blood bag, a hospital smell, and I can see my Yoongi sleep beside me with holding my hand.  Yoongi opened his eyes.  

“I give you my blood. So you won’t miss anything.” He whispered to me.  

“I don’t need your blood.”

“Y/n,  I’m sorry.” He continued.

“I won’t let you suffered, you don’t have to stay with me.”

“It’s all my fault, I won’t let you go again.”

“I never leave but you did."  

"I won’t let someone that I love left me twice, I know I’ve been stubborn by keep blaming on you.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“Because you’re my wife, the only family I have.”

“I didn’t kill your mom, I love her as much as I love you, taking care of her like she’s my parents, I know it’s hard for you but at least don’t………” You can’t hold my tears. You don’t know what to say anymore, Yoongi tried to erase your tears with his hands and gave you a kiss in your forehead. You can feel his tears are falling to your face.  

“I knew it, please forgive me and promise me you won’t cut your hand anymore, so I won’t go again and always be with you forever.” Yoongi said and he looked at you in the eye.  

“I will.” You nodded.

“I love you.”

“For you I’ll die, Min Yoongi.”