#I am going to win the “worst tumblr blog of the day” award

[commandertartarsmoocher]

Commander Tartar exploding into pixels gifs!

For your everyday Commander Tartar exploding into pixels needs!

[itsthemoofacewriting]

         My 2020 Writer Wrap-up 

I spent my day doing this instead of working on my WIPs… why am I like this?

Anyway, it’s under the cut because this turned out to be really long but it’s kinda fun. Sorry for posting this on my writing blog but considering it’s about my year in writing it seemed kinda fitting but also another reason it’s under the cut is so you can ignore if you’re only here for writing.

I didn’t tag anyone, but I implore you to do it! It’s so fun and please tag me! I wanna read them!

It really depends on my mood. I’m kinda down for all types and have written them all, but I don’t post some of my sadder stuff.

It really depends on my mood. I’m kinda down for all types and have written them all, but I don’t post some of my sadder stuff.

But my favourite has to be Straw-hat madness mixed in with romance. It’s fun to write and adds more flavour.

Which fic of yours was the hardest to write?

Has to be ‘Delayed’ and ‘Is it okay if I take my time’. Neither of them really wanted to be written and I had to wrangle them more than my other fics.

Which was the easiest?

‘Black Cat’, I’ve never had a story that just flowed through my fingers like that since, ‘Potato peeling’, ‘Feel the burn’, ‘The stars will guide you’. So really, excluding Black Cat, anything that’s quite light and fluffy. Don’t have to watch out for plot, you see.

Favourite story you’ve ever written?

This sounds like such a cop out, but I love all of my stories. I’ve written every single one for a reason and they’ve scratched the itch in my head.

But, if I have to pick (and yes, I will pick multiple, one from each ship) it’s ‘Delayed’ and “I know you’re tired (Why don’t we go back home)’.

Do you write from start to finish or do you hop around?

The way I write has changed a lot over the course of the year I’ve been writing again. I used to write start to finish but I hop around now. Write the scene(/s) I’m really feeling and build or connect from there. Found it helps me write quicker and solve any plot blocks.

Have you ever deleted a published fic?

Nope and I never plan to. My older stuff on FFN is probably frustrating to people as it’s not finished but I like to keep it as a reminder of how far I’ve come.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever received?

It was before I got back into writing fanfic again and I was reading a Tumblr post that basically said none of this matters. Whether your fanfic is amazing or awful, it literally doesn’t matter because at least one person will love it and cherish it. It helped me a lot because I used to get so hung up on the reviews/attention when I was younger that I lost sight of what I really enjoyed.

Also, to write how you want to write. Don’t listen to the rules. Rules are made to be broken and when you start to ignore them, you end up producing your best pieces. I agree with this wholeheartedly. I find myself doing a mixture of both and it’s helped a lot.

Another was by a lovely reviewer fairly recently. I was starting to beat myself down again like I did when I was younger, it may have come across, and they just reminded me this is for fun, no one is expecting me to be an award-winning writer and that this is for fun. I remind myself of this constantly and I’ve never looked back since.

Sorry, loads of advice but I use it a lot to keep me in the right mind frame and remind myself that I write to escape life.

What’s the worst?

Anything that’s the opposite of the above. I remember reading a post about grammar etc and I do use that/read them to improve my writing but the tone of it was judgemental and it irked me.

Have you ever collabed with another writer?

No, but I’d absolutely love to if it was the right person.

How many WIPS do you have right now?

*sobs* So, so many. Some of them I’ve used to get me out of writers block and probably won’t ever post but some others are WIPs that I feel in love with and then promptly fell back out of love with. I’ll work on those again at some point.

I’ve got about four right now that I’m actively working on (it helps me to jump about sometimes).

Story you are most proud of?

It’s always going to be ‘Black Cat’. I go back and read it and cringe at the wording/grammar etc but it was my first ever big, plotted story that just swept me away for over a month. I lived in that world and I was so sad when I finished it.

There’s another huge one I’m working on and I think I’ll be proud when I finish that, but we’ll see. This one’s a bit harder.

Best review you’ve ever gotten?

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to pick one. Honestly, I love every single review, obviously I love the more detailed ones, but it always gets me that someone took the time to not only read my stuff but also leave lovely words! So nope, not singling any of them out. Just a huge thank you to everyone that leaves them.

Worse review you’ve ever gotten?

Now, this I will do. They are so far and few between (there’s literally none). I can only think of like three?

But I think one of them basically reviewed that it was an awful ship… that was it. It didn’t even upset me, I laughed. Because they took the time to say that, but didn’t criticise the plot or my writing, so I’m taking it as a win that they enjoyed everything else but the ship.  

Do you reread your own stories?

Hell yeah, I do! I reread them all the time. I write most of them for myself anyway, so I always enjoy it… and I use it to pick up where I could improve.

Do you want to be published some day?

Nope, but I have no plans of leaving fanfic behind. I enjoy it too much.

Favourite character to write?

Nami. Goes without saying.

Least favourite character to write?

God, don’t come at me. But Franky and Brook. I just can’t grasp much from them. Wish I could figure out Franky so I could write some Frobin.

Do you set yourself deadlines or goals?

Hmmm, occasionally. It’s only if I’m writing for an event or certain holiday, otherwise not really.

Is there a trop you’ve never written but want to try?

So many and I think about it all the time, normally when I’m thinking of fic ideas.

Royalty AU- one for SaNami and ZoNami. I’m currently plotting for both.

Like to write a slow burn at some point.

Witch AU

Basically lots of AUs.

Maybe another big, plotted piece if I can think of something.

Is there a trope you will never write?

Nothing tragic or sad that I can’t fix.

How long have you been a writer?

Think I started writing in 2010/2011, so about 10 years. I may not have written anything in my huge hiatus, but I daydreamed a lot, so I’m counting it.

Hardest part of writing?

When you get to a tough bit, or halfway through when you’ve had enough but you also want to finish it.

Procrastinating.

Editing.

Easiest part of writing?

Dialogue. I have so much fun writing dialogue. And descriptions and thoughts.

Best part of writing fanfic?

Finally posting it and sharing it with everyone. Especially when it’s a piece I’m excited about.

Share the plot of a WIP you haven’t published yet

Oh man. I reaallly try not to do this. Because if I do, I hit a roadblock or change my mind and never post it.

Tell us something unique that you bring to all of your stories!

…I don’t think I do?

So instead, a fun fact! I have both my title and summary written out before I start the fic.

If you’re still here

Dude, I admire your concentration. Even I checked out about halfway through. But, as you are, a huge thank you, once again, for such a fun year! Thank you for reading and sharing this experience with me. I’ve had the best time and I have no plans to stop. So let’s roll on 2021.

[wolfpawn]

Once Bitten Twice Shy Chapter 16

Previous Chapter

Chapter Summary -  It's time for Marks wedding and Tom is Paige's date, but with the tension between them, they are finding it hard to work through things.

Tag, @wolfsmom1 @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @damalseer @nonsensicalobsessions  @standing-onthe-edge @hiddlesbitch1

anyone else who wishes to be added to the tags, just ask :)

a/n plese note that Tumblr has not been allowing my tags to inform those tagged that I h ave tagged them so you may have accidentally missed a chapter. 

Paige looked at the RSVPs in front of her. Marks wedding was just a few days away. She felt incredibly awkward. Tom was to be her date for it, as would be expected since they were supposedly dating, the only issue was, he was now going to be in a lot of the family photographs and with New York just around the corner, the deal would be coming to an end.

She tried to talk it over with Mark but he dismissed it all with a mere joke.

“You said you were considering paying someone to be your escort for the evening, this way, you save money,” He had jested.

“Mark, Mum will force him to be in some the photos.”

“What does it matter? No, really. He is not ugly, even I can see that as another guy, you like his company and it’s not like there’s going to be some big ugly break up in the end, right?”

In all honesty, she could not argue his logic. “Still…”

“What is the deal, Paigey, you are all bothered about this.” Mark eyed her carefully. “Is it more than you say it is?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there actually something more to you and your ‘Rear of the Year’ ass candy? That’s what I am asking. Have you two gone past pretending you were just a one night stand that got blown farcically out of proportion and become an actual couple?”

“No, why would we?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you literally are completely in love with him, maybe, just a hunch.” Mark watched his sister’s reaction.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Paige, you have always been the worst liar. I say that with love.” She turned to walk away from him. “What is so wrong with admitting it?”

“There’s nothing to admit.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“He’s a great guy.”

“You know that’s not what I am talking about, Paige. What are you so frightened to admit, what is so terrifying about admitting it?”

“What if he does it too?”

Mark took a step back. He thought his sister was being foolish, trying to simply act as though it was not as serious as it was, but seeing her with tears in her eyes, her words all but yelled in sincerity, that startled him. “Paige…”

“I know he’s not Derek, I know it. I say it to myself over and over but my brain just goes back to that night, to that feeling of everything crashing to the ground again and I never want to feel that way again. I never want to allow myself feel that way again. I don’t. He sees beautiful women every day, throwing themselves at him at his play and everything. I can’t compete with that. It would be only a matter of time before someone better would come, then I would have wasted more time and be burnt again and for what?”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t want to know that. I rather not find out.”

“Then you risk never being happy.”

“I am happy.”

“Are you, Paige? Can you look me in the eye and tell me your dreams of a family have changed, that you feel like it doesn’t matter now?”

“Things change, Mark.”

“Not those things, not that much.” He shook his head. “He’s a great guy and he makes you happier than I have ever seen you. Stop pretending otherwise and enjoy his company. You clearly like him and he likes you so I really can’t see why you would beat around this when both of you have the potential to be happy together.”

“He doesn’t...”

“Yes, he does.” Mark insisted. “Look, I asked him already and he said he was coming, so if you want to cancel his invite, you can be the one to tell him, because I’m not going to, okay?” He got to his feet and looked sadly at his sister. “Paige, we don’t all get second chances, Dad was lucky. You are not going to find too many men that well suited to you, it’s not mathematically possible for them to all be in your age range, in this part of the world, and available so don’t waste this opportunity to make yourself happy. Learn from Dad’s lesson. I am not risking Fiona, she is the best thing in my life. You do the same. He is your Fiona and if you are too dumb to realise that, then someone else will come along and snap him up because as far as men go, he’s a great catch and where will that leave you?” He left the room, hoping to have gotten her to realise how well suited she and Tom were.

*

Tom checked his suit was tidied and not at risk of creasing on the hanger.

He didn’t know why Mark was so adamant he go to the wedding. Paige had barely mentioned it, but he could hardly decline with Mark asking him to be there. What was peculiar was Mark knew the truth, he knew it was all a charade yet he insisted on Tom going to not only the wedding but the family get-togethers before it. Paige had mentioned that she was none too pleased about it all, when he tried to speak to her about it, she simply stated that it was boring. He understood such sentiment, he felt that way during his sisters' weddings. When he stated such, she agreed and spoke to him about it more but said nothing of him joining her for it. Mark had mentioned it in front of their mother, which he suspected that even if he had declined Mark, he would never have been permitted to decline their mother.

This led to a more embarrassing situation. Paige’s family, under the impression their daughter was in a long-term committed relationship, booked them a room with only a double bed in it in the hotel for the wedding. When they entered, he and Paige looked at the bed for a moment before looking at one another.

“If you hog the covers, I’m going to kidney punch you,” Paige warned. “It won’t even be intentional. I apparently do it in my sleep.”

“Are you okay with sharing with me?” Tom checked.

“Yes, you?”

“Yes.”

In truth, Tom was uncertain. Since the night at the awards, since the kiss, he felt somewhat uncertain of things. That moment where she was about to tell him something, he was certain it was something pertaining to them, since then, he felt uncertain, as though they were teetering on the edge of something more. He thought that perhaps she was feeling something similar to him but since that moment, since Oscar interrupted them, she never referenced the situation again, so he had no idea.

“I promise I am not too bad.”

“I know. We did share a bed before, remember?”

Paige swallowed. “Yes, of course.” She did not want to look at him as she remembered the night that started all of this, waking beside him, curled against him, feeling his body against hers after a night of incredible sex. She had thought of that night a few times since. “It’s looking good for your kidneys so.”

Tom laughed at her comment. “That’s a relief.”

“I guess we better go to this dinner.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry my parents and brother dragged you into this.”

“Honestly, I don’t mind, you came to aunt Geraldines for me.”

“It’s not fair on you though.”

“Paige, do you know what is great about you?”

“My sheer lack of giving a shit?”

“Yes, actually.” Tom nodded. “You are entirely honest. Take meeting my father for lunch, you straight up said yes to meeting him on his visit down for the play, but then declined him for dinner because you were busy, so you planned lunch. There was no messing, no pretending you could then suddenly changing plans, you straight away said what you could and could not do.”

“It’s better to lay everything out like that, and it’s handy. When you say you’re busy then, no one seems to think to question you.”

“It’s a good way to be.” Tom commended.

“Perhaps.” Paige sometimes wondered if it was. “We better get ready to go to this meal.”

Tom could see her apprehension. “Is it me of the meal that’s the issue?”

Paige scoffed. “Tom, you will never be the issue. If I could choose this meal or you, you win. You’re far better company, you are a far nicer person than most everyone I have ever met, honestly. It’s not you.” Tom looked at her carefully. Paige’s eyes on his. “Tom…”

He was on the verge of leaning down and kissing her. He even licked his lips to do so when there was a knock on the door.

“Paige, are you two decent in there?”

Paige looked at Tom for a moment, unsure if she just imagined what just nearly happened before walking over to the door. “Yes, Dad?”

“Dinner time, get cleaned up as best you can. We wouldn’t want to be late.” He rolled his eyes.

Paige smiled at him. “We’ll get through it.”

“I love Fiona, you know I do, but that family of hers…I didn’t fight that damn disease to suffer fools.”

Paige smiled lovingly at her father, the memory of the sick man sitting in their living room when she got a lift to Oxford with a classmate one weekend coming to her again. “Dad…”

“Now, run along.” He walked off.

“He’s terrible.” She shook her head. “Mum gets so annoyed when he talks about the cancer like that. He maintains that since he survived it, he can speak anyway he wants about it.”

“Understandable. So Fiona’s family are not as liked as she is then?”

“Fiona’s family have this terrible medical condition, it’s sad really, it’s called pompous twat-itis.” Tom chuckled. “How Fiona is related to them confuses me no end.”

“Now I’m just curious,” Tom confessed. “Am I dressed alright?” He dressed casually in a dark sweater, his dark jeans and favourite pair of shoes.

Paige nodded. She always tried to remain stoic when she saw him in such a combination, but it was difficult because of how incredible he looked. She never knew how a man wearing something so casual look so sexy. “You look great.” She went into the bathroom and tidied herself a little before walking out again. “Ready?”

Tom, who had been in his own head after thinking of how he nearly kissed her, looked at her again with interest. She wore black boots with her black jeans, which very much showed her body, which he had enjoyed previously and could not stop thinking about since. The blouse she chose was elegant and sexy in one and he loved it. It was the same one she wore the night of Ben and Sophie’s. “Yes.”

“Good. I better apologise in advance for anything they say or do. I cannot guarantee they will be very nice or perhaps they will be overly nice, I don’t know which yet.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Can’t say I didn’t tell you.” She smiled as they left the room.

[jjpmoans]

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @prettywordsyouleft and @itsallabigmess bcs these two unnies really love me

1. What takes too much of your time?

Social media (yes that includes tumblr)

2. What makes your day better?

These days, Jinyoung. Lol okay so I am a very talkative one. So yeah, talking to someone will immediately makes me feel less stressful.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Just now @itsallabigmess made an exception for me to write a GOT7 fic asdfghjkl I FEEL A LITTLE TOO OVER HAPPY

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I think almost all my friend would have guess this. Hogwarts. Because the food there seems to be endless and really, I’d love to try eating both drumsticks in my hand and I want to put an incantation to whoever tries to hold me from eating.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Well, I think I am. Judging from how my whole family turned to me when they wanted to share their problems. Also when I gave advises, I always stresses this one thing “Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply” and that implies to me too. And honestly, I listen too much and sometimes when people just don’t want to change, I feel really annoyed BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT YOU WANTED MY ADVISE???? Okay I think I’m good. hahahhahhaha

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Horny 24/7 is that a mental illness? lmao no I’m not that bad but I think I need to get married. NOW.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not yet. In my country, people describe sleep paralysis as you got crushed by some spirit (ghost to be exact) and yes it is scary and I hope I would never experience it.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I’ve been thinking a lot and though I really want to say GOT7, I’d say EXO. Partly because I was there since early times, but also, the amount of success and loyalties they have received are really unbelievable. The secret of EXO’s and BTS’s popularity which leads them to win daesang in every award is their fans. And I really hope ahgase can be like them. I’d be lying if I say our fandom is really hardworking when it comes to award season. I’ve seen my friend bullshitting EXO and BTS bcs whenever any of them is nominated in the same award of GOT7, automatically, GOT7 will lose. And no joke, army and exol are really monsters during award season. And I hope us ahgase can be like that too. I know got7 said they didn’t mind but Jinyoung once said that he want to know how those groups can win daesang easily and he thought got7 need to work harder. smh I’m emo. sorry this got longer than it should. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I do. Hahahahhahaha yes I do. 

10. What’s your dream date?

Well for me, just talking with each other is a date. I love to know small details because when I love someone, I just want to know everything about him. But okay a dream date? Amusement park. Yes you need to know which ride makes me scream like a girl and which makes me scream like a mad woman.

11. What do others notice about you?

I’m very talkative (that really shows lol). And I don’t know how to refuse when someone ask for a help or anything. I always tell myself to treat people the way I want to be treated. 

And they said I’m too nice. Yeah I figured that too hahahahhaa

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Refuse to listen when I’m angry. I feel annoyed because I know I’m wrong but I’m angry but I don’t want to hurt people. So I’ll say “Sorry, I’m very angry now but I know I’m wrong. Just, I’ll be okay later so we’ll talk later”

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yes and no. Our last conversation was he wanted to meet me. But ever since then, no other conversation.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

Can’t relate lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Here’s the thing. I have a lot of playlists. Phone playlist, laptop playlist, joox playlist and youtube playlist. So I don’t know how many of them.

16. What instruments can you play?

Non existent.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

My phone? Now? Jinyoung smh this is all Tumblr’s fault lol. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Mecca. I’d like to die there if I can.

19. What is your zodiac?

Virgo. And please, someone, please help me calculate whatever thing it was (sun sign, moon sign and all) I never knew those things and it irks me when I don’t know it hahahahhaaa

20. Do you relate to it?

Well I did some research here, Virgo firstly is a virgin and yes I am. It says that virgo is very supportive of people in their lives and even strangers, that is me. I’m a critical thinker bcs I personally hate when something goes wrong. but lol hardworking, artists and remembers everything? Not even close. I’m a lazy ass, I draw a cow but it turned into a pig and I am hopeless with my memory.

But one Virgo thing about me, yes I am an overthinker hahahahhaa

21. What is happiness to you?

When my family reunited.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Family problem. Mom just got heart attack, dad married another woman, brother on crisis with mom, sister just stabbed my back, aunt made everything worse. It’s been three months into 2019, every week, another family problem popped up. But we are trying, I tried to fix everything, another role which the smallest child has to take upon responsibility but I’m fine. Just, tiring.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

applied for the wrong scholarship and wasted an opportunity to fly to New Zealand for study.

24. What’s your favourite store?

Food stores. Any of them. ARE MY FAVOURITE ahhahahhaha

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Because I’m a muslim, I am against abortion. Here, in my country, abortion is done because it was done out of wedlock and they feel embarrassed. So, it irks me bcs if you can think to have sex, you can’t think that there is possibilities that you can get pregnant? And to kill your child bcs you wanted to cover it, is unacceptable. But again, it is personal choice. 

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have a few but not enough to be a bucket. 

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Honestly, if favourite means I have listened to all songs in that album, it’s EXO The War album. 

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A freaking big plushie. I love to hug big plushies. But no one ever wanted to give me that for my birthday. And now, I’ve been searching for a big squirtle plushie or snorlax plushie (yes jackson and jaebum)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

okay this one lol they said I look scary and they thought I’d be the grumpy one. Well, if you meet me when I’m hungry, I have the tendency to be one.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I don’t know anymore. An aunt asked me “Are you the one who got married?” when it was my sister smh 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to my pillow bcs I need to charge it.

32. what word do you say the most?

me? I say “shit” a lot lol

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

well I would say I definitely date anyone as long as they are not the same age with my dad.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

idk I never thought on dating a younger one. But if I do, maybe 4 years younger bcs damn, if I make it 10 years, my date would be 12 when me here is 22.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

something which requires me to talk a lot. 

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

K-Pop.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

South Korea. New Zealand. Anywhere but Malaysia lol.

38. What is your current favourite song?

Say you won’t let go - James Arthur

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I had this blog for a few years. But just becoming active just recently hmm I don’t know the exact date. But I know it started after I interacted with @prettywordsyouleft

40. What are you excited for?

Food. and sponsored vacation

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

A better talker. but also a pretty good listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Last sunday, i climbed a 200m hill to get to the view point. It got me panting like a dying cow.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

While I don’t celebrate Christmas, I welcome gifts. Any gifts would be fine lol (make sure its food)

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

High school? Chemistry. College? Mathematic. Now? Nothing hahahahaha

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5 and exhausted but tomorrow? 10 BECAUSE A JINYOUNG IS COMING

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?  

10 years I just hope that I am already working and saving money to go on vacations and can sponsor my family on vacations too.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

2009 when I discovered that dad has another wife. I was 12 and just got my exam result but dad wasn’t there. He was never present for any of my achievements in school. Turns out he has another child the same age as me and he puts her before me. Since I was born, I was always put second.

2011 when I liked a guy but he hated me awh teenagers. He said I’m too fat and how dare a fat girl like me tries to like him? He was my first love.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

When I am ready. I have a dream wedding, so I would work hard for it to happen.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Idk I always change it lol today i’ll say teacher and next day I’ll say ballerina. Yes I spent my whole school life giving different careers when teachers asked me.

50. What do you crave right now?

Food bcs I’m on diet and hell those food porns are getting on my nerves.

Phew it was a good time answering all these questions and it drains my energy lol. So for this, hmm I don’t know who to tag. But i’ll go with this one @sevenpeaches @riceeater22 @tuanyiems @kpopchangedme @kpopstories @starhibiki @ongsung @sehunsmybae (yes I always saw you) and everyone who want to do this! of course, you are not forced to do this

[gracetrack-higgins]

I’m literally the worst so here are some tags that I was tagged in and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT WHOOPS 

learn more abt moi under the cut!

I was tagged by @elozable ages ago to do this tag so here it isssss:

nicknames: Gracie, Graciebird, Miss Grace (Idk if that counts as a nickname? but it’s def what people call me the most)

gender: female

star sign: Libra

height: 5′4″

time: 12:08am yikes

birthday: October 3rd

favourite bands: I don’t really stan many bands, I just like a lot of different artists and singles! 

favourite solo artist: (ok this one i have a legit answer for) I really like Lauv, Sufjan Stevens, Dessa, Halsey, and like literally any Broadway artist ever tbh (so many of these artists are bc of Claire...you win all the music awards Claire!)

song stuck in your head: Fun Fact About Grace! I get multiple songs stuck in my head at once so right now I have Stupid With Love from Mean Girls Broadway (bc I just binge watched all the Too Grool For School Vlogs), Haydn’s Brahms Variation #8 (from Orchestra rehearsal), and When I Drive from Bonnie and Clyde. My head’s a mess.

last movie: last movie was technically Doubt, which I finished watching in class today. Before that I watched Newsies Live the other night (DUH)

last tv show: Ugh I haven’t watched TV all week. I think the last thing I watched was House Hunters with my dad tbh.

why did you create your blog: I’ve had a tumblr for literally as long as I can remember. It started out as a Star Wars thing but wow hoo boy am I in it for Newsies now lmao

what do you post/reblog: mostly Newsies! Some other Musical Theater things, memes, the occasional Star Wars post so my SW friends don’t think I’m dead.

last thing you googled: Mean Girls Broadway Vlogs, and right before that was “aggravated assault jail time” so do with that what you will??? (it was for writing no worries guys)

other blogs: lmao i used to have a fishblr?? a tumblr for fish??? about fish??? i went through an aquarium phase (I still have 2 spoiled betta fish that live in Too-Big Tanks and i love them)

why url: okay look at it and take a wild guess

i follow: 497 (wow)

followers: 767!!!!!! WOW!!!!!

average hours of sleep: 6 hours?

lucky number: I don’t have one I don’t speak numbers :(

instrument: I’m a violist!! I’ve been playing string instruments since I was 6 years old, first violin and then I switched to viola when I was around 10, and I’ve been playing that ever since. (I literally just got back from orchestra rehearsal as I write this up)

what are you wearing: pajamas! booty shorts and an oversized t-shirt

dream job: ooooooh good question. I really want to work in activism work, mainly with LGBT+ kids and inclusion programs! I’m majoring in human rights so we’ll see what doors open up with that! I also really want to work with the Broadway community somehow. :)

dream trip: highkey want to go to Santa Fe, ngl. I also really want to do a European tour!

favourite food: asdfasdaf I don’t know. Extra Butter Popcorn and Mozzarella cheese (not together, separately, but still). I have very bad eating habits.

favourite song rn: ummmmmmm okay Faking Bright by Saski, I Like Me Better by Lauv, and Brooklyn’s Here from Newsies (of course)

last book i read: I haven’t read for fun in ages. I read my theater textbook the other day, but I don’t think that really counts.

top 3 universes: Star Wars, Newsies (does this count?), Elena of Avalor/Disney Princess-verse!

tagging: anyone who wants to do this!!! :)

OKAY AND TAG #2!! tagged by my dear @wordshakerofgallifrey

What hogwarts house do you belong to ? — i’m a proud hufflepuff baby!

What is your favourite Disney movie? — this is literally an impossible question. my top 5 always change too but as of right now: The Lion King, Aladdin, Meet The Robinsons, Brother Bear, Fantasia 2000

Where are you from? — Sunny South Florida

What is you favourite ice cream flavour? — I have 2 and it depends on my mood: Black Raspberry Chip and Moose Tracks.

Summer or winter? — I guess summer??? I’m a FL baby so I’ve never had a real winter so I don’t know! I’m very used to the heat.

what is the song that makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs? — !!!!! let’s reference my belting playlist. My Petersburg from Anastasia, Watch What Happens from Newsies, Everlasting from Tuck Everlasting, Defying Gravity from Wicked, Monster from Frozen on Broadway, Someday from Memphis, LITERALLY MY ENTIRE BROADWAY PLAYLIST ITS FULL OF JAMS

Cat person or dog person? — both! I love animals!

What is your favorite hobby? — obviously writing, but I also love dancing (tap dancing!) and playing viola!

Which is your favourite book? — Okay I have many but my favorite book growing up was Johnny Tremain. I own like 7 copies of it. other than that I’ve got a List of Star Wars Books that are my favorites.

What is your favorite musical (if you like musicals, obviously)? — Idk if you knew this from the Everything About Me but it’s Newsies.

What is the best gift you have been given? — hmmm I’m not sure. My sister made me a King of New York gag gift for my birthday last year and that was pretty great. Also Claire wins all the gift giving awards too because she’s knocked it out of the park with my Where’s Spot book ;) and the necklace that I wear every day now! (thank you claire!)

okay I’m lazy and i”m not doing the Make 11 Of Your Own Questions thing so if anyone wants to answer those questions feel free!!! enjoy!

[agape-l0ve]

hello i am back lol

I think the last few times I wrote out a blog was when jj was deployed.  tumblr was a really helpful tool for me at that time because it allowed me to be completely vulnerable without having to burden anyone else!

I was looking back at my old posts and it’s so interesting to read where I was back then and to see the progression of how much life changes in such short bursts of time! So here’s just an update for my future self -- warning, it’s not very exciting hahaha

So, since jj returned in dec 2018, it’s honestly been great! We saw 2019 and 2020 as a time to catch up on all the lost time we had in the previous years.  No more exercises, training, or trips away, life actually went back to normal - which was weird.  I look back and think about how we’ve only been in this lifestyle since 2016, but so much can happen within a span of 4-5 years.  I’ve finally graduated from CFCC’s OTA program, which was honestly such a blessing because our class was able to complete our requirements before COVID got really bad.  Well, I should say most of our class.  As of right now, I think only one more person is finishing up their FW II, which is crazy because these days, I find myself thinking about how I was just finishing up HH and transitioning into peds outpatient in FW II exactly one year ago.  

I’ll talk a bit about my FW II experiences.. since they were not the greatest lol.

Home health was really interesting.  I was honestly DREADING it because 1, I don’t like spending long amounts of time in the car and 2, I hate being in the car with just one other person - especially someone I don’t feel100% comfortable with. Also, I wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to people’s homes either.  I think this placement really stretched me and pushed me out of my comfort zone in every aspect.  Looking back now, I genuinely enjoyed the experience for what it was! Would I voluntarily do it again? It depends! (which is a step up from a solid no) 

Our area covered the extremely rural areas of our surrounding counties and it definitely served as a huge culture shock.  But everyone was so sweet and grateful for any help they could get and I will always remember some of the most awesome patients I got to meet.  The negative effects of this rotation mostly came from my supervisor.  She was an awful human being, but thankfully, she was at least a good OTR.  However, that being said, I saw ZERO treatments! Even when I tried to tell my professor, NO ONE LISTENED OR BELIEVED ME.  It was extremely frustrating because I had all of these assignments to do and all of them were about mf interventions.  Anyways, my OTR was untimely, rude, unapologetic, and lacked empathy out of her ass.  I was so ready to be done with her and thankfully, she didn’t ruin HH as an option for me - just wasted my time with her.  If someone could win an award for the amount of countless hours they could talk about themselves, it would be her.  9 hours every day, non-stop, talking about herself and how great she is and her bf. omfg JUST GET ME OUT OF THE CAR

FW II was supposed to be really exciting for me.  I was done with HH and moving onto what I cared about the most and what I really felt passionate about.  Helping children in clinic! It was honestly my dream.  It was a multi-disciplinary site with SLP, PT, and OT. Everyone seemed nice and it just so happens that my OTR at this placement was a former Marine and he and I had a lot in common paper.  Boy, was I in for it.  He turned out to be an extremely narcissistic man who thought the world of only himself.  He shit talked EVERYONE behind their backs, but was extremely fake to their face.  Him and the front office administrator would gossip every moment they got, like they were 13 year old bullies.  He suffered from several TBIs when he was enlisted, so it’s safe to say that his temperament issues and memory loss were definitely a result of those.  But the worst part is, he refused to admit it.  He would shit talk the boss, the PR manager, the PTs, the clients, and just about everyone in between.  And he brought 100% of his personal life into this, which I get if we’re co-workers, that’s fine.  But as your student, I don’t need to know about that kind of crap.  On top of that, I was his first FW II student... lol of course I was.  So he knew nothing about how to help me, guide me, or teach me. Instead of looking at the informational packed my professor handed to him, he puts that in the closet the entire 9 weeks I’m with him and proceeds to continuously throw me under the bus when it came to doing my assignments and treating patients.  Mind you, I didn’t get to treat anyone in HH, so this is now my first real opportunity to start treating patients throughout the entirety of my program.  Safe to say, I was nervous.  But I pulled through and did my best and I forced myself to become really confident really quickly.  I was awesome at it and I was honestly very proud of the practitioner I was striving to be.  He did help me from time to time and I’d like to believe there were moments where he was genuine and tried his best to help me.  But none of those times outweigh the flustercluck that was that clinic.  Anyways, I came out pretty salty about the whole thing, but I didn’t let it ruin my passion for helping children, as that is what I aspire to do in the future.  I made strides with kids my OTR wasn’t able to connect with for months.  And instead of encouraging me and allowing me to fulfill my duty as a student, he re-books them with another therapist and anyone in healthcare knows how that detrimental that process is to their progression and tells me that he’s just trying to be nice and share his case-load with other people.  No, you’re purposefully taking them away from me because you can’t stand the thought of someone being better than you at something.  His pride and arrogance will forever taint my experience there and I have no intention of going back - which is a true shame because I absolutely fell in love with the kids and some of the other therapists there.  Oh well, good riddance to both my HH OTR and my peds OTR.

Luckily through it all, COVID was just beginning and it only delayed my graduation process a few weeks.  I was extremely fortunate to be one of the first few in my class to finish up and start studying for my NNCOT exam!

Studying for my exam was a time and a half.  I honestly had -0% confidence in myself to pass this test.  I knew it was coming, I knew I had to eventually take it.. but time just snuck up on me so quickly and before I realized, it was my time.  I studied for about 3 months, graduating in June and taking my exam in Sept.  I took a short break immediately following graduation and then read an entire 3,000 page textbook, took over 300 pages of notes, and took practice tests and listened to podcasts/watched youtube videos.  It was a lot of information but it was honestly so rewarding to think about how much knowledge I’ve truly gained from these past few years.  Fast forward, Sept 23, 2020 was the day I took my test and it was great! A lot less structured of a process than they make it sound and I was able to complete my exam in about 2 hours and passed a few weeks later! I got my license and everything was great!

For whatever reason, during this time, I felt in my heart that it was time to get another dog.  This topic kept coming up un-provoked in EVERY single conversation we had with others and it just felt right.  Being home now, I was able to spend every day with Teddy, rather than taking him to daycare.  Because of the uncertainties of COVID at the time, I didn’t feel comfortable taking him in, nor did I want to drive if I didn’t have to.  Teddy became extremely depressed, always sleeping in the closet or between the toilet and wall, which are places he goes only when he’s hurt or sick.  I would try to play with him and take him out, but he had lost all motivation to do anything.  It hurt my heart that I couldn’t give him what he wanted or what he needed.  So, after a lot of thought and research, Chester came into our lives! Teddy’s breeder had JUST had a litter of puppies (on the same day I took my exam!) and I figured it was a good time to raise another puppy, since I have the time and no outstanding commitments right now.  We picked him up in Nov, right before Thanksgiving and jj’s brother was in town to help us.  It was a looooong day, 5 hours there and 5 hours back.  I think we got home around 2am, but since then, my life has just been on hold while I raise Chester.

Teddy was not happy at first.  I could tell he was confused and upset that another dog was here.  But over time, they have become much closer and share experiences that has helped him become a better brother.  Chester is a lot of work lol but he’s brought so much joy to all of us and I love him so much.  He’s currently 5 months, losing all his baby teeth, and getting into everything and Teddy has been enjoying the company (in moderation lol).

In regards to our life, we were really hoping to PCS back home summer of 2020, but it didn’t happen.  It was pretty disappointing because we’ve been on the east coast the whole time we’ve been active duty.  A lot of our friends moved either back to their hometowns or to the west coast and it felt really unjustified that we were stuck here, but even so, we are making the most of it.  We would have had to move through COVID and we wouldn’t have gotten Chester, so those are definitely some benefits of staying put.  Since we’re here for a bit, we’ve decided to purchase a house! Our friends down the street are selling theirs and we figured it’d be a good financial idea to start allocating our rent into a cheaper mortgage.  It has a double yard and it’s a bit newer than our current rental.  So we are hoping to move around June! I’m excited, it’s kind of a fresh new start without having to be too big of a move for now.  

Mentally, I’ve been fluctuating.  I have a lot of self-inflicted guilt from not working at the moment.  And yes, I agreed to get Chester and it’s a full-time job to watch him and not have to crate him all day.  I want him to enjoy his puppyhood and I want to be here with him as well, so I do cherish these moments that I can have with both him and Teddy.  However, I just feel like it’s the right thing to do or it’s what I’m supposed to do. I graduate and then I work! But being here, it’s just not the path for me.  Besides, I keep reminding myself that there are no job openings in my immediate area right now anyways.  So for now, I’m just spending my days with the pups and working on keeping the house clean, which does bring me a lot of joy.  I need to learn to enjoy life and not worry about what I’m not doing.  To help myself, I signed up for transcription services again, so hopefully that’ll bring in some money and take up some time.  I think it’s the need to feel productive and I haven’t had that in a while.  But with COVID, I’m sure that’s a very popular feeling.  

I think that’s about it for now, that’s what’s been going with me the past few years! I can’t wait to read this in 2 years and hopefully, I won’t be in the same place lol

byee

[fatgalfitness]

I wrote a really nice, thoughtful post about the new year, and giving ourselves grace for not ~thriving~ but merely surviving 2020. I recounted some of my own highs and lows, and encouraged everyone to just keep pushing.

It was great. And tumblr ate it, never to be seen again.

2020, amirite?

Anyway. This wouldn't be a fitness blog without a good ol' new years post.

But I'm not here to encourage you to "look on the bright side" or set any serious new years resolutions.

I'm here to congratulate you for surviving. You're still HERE. And still being here is something to celebrate.

Some folks THRIVED in quarantine. They picked up new hobbies, lost weight, became their best selves. And that is incredible. They took the worst of situations and made it work for them. I need you to know how proud I am of you.

But a lot of us struggled. We didn't find our best selves, or even very good versions. We trudged through, and barely made it out alive.

But we're ALIVE. We've lost loved ones and jobs and money and expectations and we've struggled. But we're still here.

If you follow my social media, you're going to see the highlights. Winning awards for my work and distributing 600,000+ pounds of food. Finding my love for cycling, and boozy cookery. My sweet and perfect niece. And my EXTREME love of Christmas.

But social media is the highlight reel. I struggled in 2020, y'all. My depression kicked my ass, and my anxiety was (and is) out of control. I dove into weekly therapy sessions, and celebrated days that I managed to work out AND not just eat a bag of jerky for dinner.

The ills of 2020 are not magically gone at midnight. Life won't suddenly be easier, covid won't suddenly be gone.

But there's hope and light that helps us endure the darkness. Sometimes it feels far away, but life is so sweet on the other side. And we can all make it there. Together.

I don't do new years resolutions anymore. They don't serve me. If they do you, then please, make your lists and set your intentions. But as I have spent the last few days meditating on what I want for my life in the coming year, 3 words keep swirling: "Aggressively About Theresa."

I have spent my life measuring my worth by my value to other people. I'm only good enough when I excel at my job. I'm only a good friend when I'm doing something for you.

And I'm TIRED of that life. I'm tired of not feeling wholly worthy and good apart from what I provide to other people.

So I honestly don't know what this looks like in practice. I think we're going to find out as we go. But I'm committed to what serves me and leads to the life I so want for myself.

I'm sorry this post isn't as eloquent and thoughtful as the first. Technology outsmarted me. But I am here to remind you that life is sweet on the other side of the darkness, and you WILL find the other side. I'm here to tell you that navigating change is scary and overwhelming, but mustering the guts to do it can be life changing.

2020 was HARD, y'all. For so many reasons with which we're all far too familiar. And 2021 isn't a magical cure to those reasons, but it's a chance to do an ounce better. We're still HERE. We're still fighting. And that's good enough, y'all. It's GREAT.

So I hope you'll navigate this journey with me. I truly don't know what it will look like, but I do know that aggressively supporting and searching for our true selves is a worthy adventure.

[thexsisters]

2017

A lot has happened in 2017 for me. I started the year out getting incredibly sick and I had my first ever foot injury without being in any kind of sports. Haha. The month of January was awful. Let me tell you. But some of you know. Because you were there for me.

A few months speeding up to March and something really scary happened to my grandpa. Something that I wasn’t sure he could come back from. You guys helped me. Some of you more than others but what matters was that some of you reached out. Even if it was just once and only for a few minutes. Lord knows you all have your own lives too.

My grandpa is now nearly back to the way he was. It’s our miracle of 2017 for sure. I then went to the beach for the first time ever in May and it was a blast! I can’t wait to go to a different beach next year. As long as I don’t see any sharks because for real I may live in Ohio but sharks are my greatest fear, okay???

August started out as one of the most thrilling months of 2017 but within a week it became the worst month of 2017. I had been waiting to move out for so long and when I finally got my chance, I was played and lied to. Like usual. I think on some level I’m cursed. For reals. But anyway, August sucked. But you guys were there. You were. You got me through it.

2017 was also the year I finally learned what all the hype was about this group called BTS. I knew they were popular but I was just so hooked on VIXX that I wasn’t really ready to listen to anything else. And then I came back from my beach vacation in May and the Billboard awards was on. I was like “Oh cool! Kpop is making us proud with that BTS group!” And that was all it took for me to become a baby Army~

In the process of getting sucked into the fandom, I have met so many wonderful people! Army is a fandom that, like many, have good apples and bad apples. But I’m one of the lucky ones that have met nothing but good apples~ I’m very fortunate for that. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You guys put up with my Jungkook spams and BTS trash posts in general. Haha!

Thank you

@grxnadxs

Chrissy. My adorable turtle with the cute shell~ Sometimes I imagine us just chilling in your shell while you tell me about things like your book cause I’m a huge fangirl, okay? But not just your book, I often imagine us talking about life and how I wish I could do more for you as a friend. If I could tattoo any quote to your body, it would be the famous quote by Christopher Robin. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” You fight so many battles in your life. And even when you don’t always win those battles, you never give up the war. That takes real bravery, strength, and smarts. Gosh Chrissy. You’re one of the smartest girls I know. But I also know how anxiety has it’s way of clouding those smarts. Turning us into mumbling stumbling sheep who’ve lost our way. But this year you’ve kicked some major butt, okay? You got a job! You stared your enemies in the eye and you said “F*** you.” You went to that job fair, you got that interview, and you got that job. THE Chrissy that I know can do anything she sets her mind to got a job! I’m so proud of you, girl. This is our second Christmas as friends and you’re forever one of my best friends. There are still many battles to be fought, but let’s fight them together, okay?

@fluorvte

Laura. My skanky skank. The Sushi Mama. Sadly I did not get to spend as much of 2017 with you as I would have liked. Being what I believe is 6 hours apart makes things difficult, I know. But of course we always make it work. Bless you and Chrissy for throwing me that birthday party. You guys know how much I loved our AIM chats. Sadly AIM is a thing of the past now. But at least we have the memories in our head and our hearts. That birthday party meant so much to me. You made time out of your busy life for me. That means so much. I miss you. It’s probably selfish of me to say but it’s true. I try to be okay with it. I know you’re busy. But you’ll always be my owl that watches over me. You’re still sitting on my desk with Chrissy. I have those stuffed turtle and snow owl on my desk at work. So that I have you guys with me always~ No matter how often we don’t talk, I know you’re always with me. Thanks for being such an amazing friend and an amazing writer. You never fail to blow me away with your writing.

@intoyxurheart

Where do I even start with you? Aigoo. So much has happened that it feels like we’ve known each other for years. In fact it feels so long ago that I barely remember how we first started talking. Isn’t that awful? Haha. But I do indeed remember me approaching you first. I had been checking the people who were following me but had yet to actually approach me. So I thought I’d hit you up with an instant message here on tumblr. And that’s all it took. Here we are now. Several months later and we have so many ships and it makes me feel fuzzy. You, Chrissy, and one other person are the only ones who put up with all my crazy ideas and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for putting up with that because I know my imagination can get pretty wild and out there. You are most certainly my blessing from 2017. Being strong for me so that I can be strong for my friends and family. I can’t tell you enough how precious you are. Don’t let anyone tell you any different because my opinion is the only one that matters. Haha! Let’s have many more Christmases together, okay?

@hyohyorp

Oh sweet pea I’m so sorry. 2017 wasn’t good to us and I’m so very sorry for that. Things happened and I was still trying to find my way with how I wanted to rp male muses and you were my guinea pig most of the time. But you really stuck by me. And I just want you to know how appreciative I am of you and all your endless patience with me. Our time zones make rping live really difficult but you put up with it anyway. I’m so proud of you for making your multimuse blog. I bet you’re having a blast, right? heehee It’s so good to see you having a blast and enjoying yourself. I knew you’d love it. And hopefully 2018 will be full of fun moments for Taekwoon and Hyosung~

@gcholdtrops

I’m squealing and flailing cause like I don’t even know where to start, okay??? You’ve grown to be one of my idols. I’ll never forget how our story first started. The first chapter was honestly me watching you pop up on my list of recommendations provided by tumblr. I’d click your blog and instantly start sweating because like um hello. You’re totally above me and like I just didn’t think I’d ever be able to be worthy of your writing. Like I totally believed I wasn’t worth being in your ring of writers. Everything about you is amazing and I just couldn’t. Too chicken. Couldn’t do it. But one day I got the fuzzy dice to finally approach you. And I’m glad I did. Because here I am. And I’m still such a fangirl, okay? You’re always going to be my idol. I’ll never forget that first meme reply. I remember reading it over and over again on my lunch hours at work. Smiling like an idiot and being floored every time I read it. Our cuties are so naughty and cute and gosh I ship it hard core. Seulgi isn’t naughty in her other ships but dang she channels her inner BoA when she’s with her handsome composer.~ Let’s always be rp partners, Army, and most importantly friends.

@butlersrus

Waaah~ I know we don’t talk much out of character but from what I’ve seen, you’re absolutely precious! In fact I know so little that I don’t even know if you’re male or female so I do apologize. But this is about the people who’ve touched my life and been there for me this year and you’re one of them. Whether I know anything about you or not. And you deserve to be recognized. Much like with the cutie mentioned above you, I kept watching your blog pop up in my list of recommendations. Sooo many times I’d click your blog and nibble my nails nervously because like dang what if you thought I was weird or something. Like what if our muses weren’t compatible. But wow was I wrong. Like I die a fangirl’s death every time I see Seulgi with Shownu because I keep trying to blow on the sails of the ship. Willing it to sail all around the Caribbean. Haha! I love shipping and I’m terrible at slow burning ships because I just want it to happen now. I want them to kiss now! Haha! Thank you for making my days brighter with our rping. I always have a pleasant morning because there’s a cute reply from Shownu waiting for me in my IM on tumblr. It’s a wonderful start to my morning routine. Let me tell you~ Thank you. For everything. Let’s continue to be rp partners and even friends. I’m glad I got the guts to approach you. Hopefully you are just as happy~

@abxavterno

Cutie! Thank you so much for expressing concern over my icky eczema condition. Honestly if I were to bandage all my other patches of eczema, I would literally look like a mummy. There’s one big reason I dislike winter weather and this would be it. Dry skin. But don’t worry, I just gotta make it to at least like March or April and I think it’ll settle down and clear up. Till next time. OTL Anyway! Thank you so much for sticking around. I know there for awhile we’d have mun conversations and you’d share your worries with me. I still really value that and appreciate that. You’re so sweet and I feel like I can approach you any time. You’re a good person. I hope you know that. And gaaaah. Our muses are so cute! I don’t know if it’ll ever be an official ship but I definitely ship shy Seulgi with sexy Eros. I like the rp relationship we have. We’ve had a few threads and even though a lot of them haven’t worked out, that’s not stopped us from trying new pairings and plots. I like that~ I can appreciate and admire that. Thank you. You’ve made 2017 very enjoyable. Let’s keep at it!

@terniox

Sobs sobs sobs. I miss youuuuu. You were one of the first few people to pick me up when life around me was ending as I knew it. You were one of the first few people to help me dip my toes into the idea of being multiverse. I still only really had Tiffany at the time but I wanted her to have other verses. And you dived right in with me. Our ship is the longest lasting ship on this blog and it’s always going to be special to me. I hope you’re well. I really do because I know I don’t see or hear from you as often. But you’re still important to me. So you deserve your spot here with all these other wonderful people. Because you will forever be wonderful to me in my book. Let’s continue to be amazing friends no matter how far apart life tries to keep us, okay? Heehee~

@viiifates

Hellooooo~ Another one of those cuties who I don’t really talk to out of character but you’re still so wonderful to rp with! I like our plot. I honestly don’t know much about mafia plots no matter how many BTS mafia fanfics I read but haha! I promise I’m still having a blast no matter what. I have always wanted to dip my toes in the type of plot we have going on so it’s a joy and an honor to be able to rp that with you. I like how rping is casual and enjoyable while still being thrilling all at the same time. Thanks for putting up with my tumblr IM rping style that I’ve seemed to take quite a liking to lately. It’s so convenient and it’s still just as fun! You’re a wonderful rp partner and I hope we can also be good friends too!

@darksideofseoul

Ah sweetie pie! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful, understanding sweetheart. I was kinda sorta losing it and going out of my mind with panic the last time we spoke and I do apologize. I probably seemed so irrational. Apparently that’s what happens when eczema, stress, and coming down with a killer migraine falls upon you within two weeks’ time. I really do enjoy all our little threads we have going on. I’m glad we didn’t give up. BoA and Donghae are sooooo OTP material. heehee~ She’ll die if he ever proposes. haha! Thank you so much for being a wonderful rp partner. But not just for what you do within the rp community, but also what you do outside of it. You risk your life every day and I will always admire that. Stay strong and be safe out there, okay?

@dashdasxorphans

My fellow Ohioan! Congratulations on your wedding! I bet it was absolutely beautiful and hopefully you had lots of fun on your honeymoon~ Thank you so much for rping with me. I know it’s not something that happens often but I still enjoy every second of it. I never take it for granted. Your Leo was one of this blog’s first verses when it was still just Tiffany. Our muses have been through a lot and came a long way. I’ll always treasure the memories between our muses on this blog. You helped me learn what it was like to be multiverse so that I could one day become more confident in what I was doing as a writer and a mun behind the muse. Thank you. You’re wonderful and I hope you’re doing well!

@luminxscent

Sweet pea! I miss you bunches and I hope you’re doing well. I’ll never forget all that you’ve done for me. You were there when I was in so much pain. You managed to stay neutral while helping me piece myself and BoA back together. You know how much that means to me? When I was so sick that I could have physically puked. You were there. You were there. And I know we’ve had our ups and downs. But I think that’s what makes some of the greatest friendships. The strongest friendships. We always manage to gravitate back to each other. Through thick and thin. Thank you. I keep my pink haired Hongbin photo card at my desk and every time I look at it, I think of you. You gave me so many gifts and I wish I could give it back to you doubled! Please take care and never forget that you can always come to me to talk about anything~

@paperhecrts

New cutie friend person! Heehee~ You’re already turning into a partner who’s gonna fly with any idea I throw at you. I can tell. Thank you for embracing those crazy ideas and shipping with me from day one. Literally. Like I can tell we’ve got great chemistry as writers and I sure do hope I don’t annoy you with my out of character messages in tumblr IM. I get awfully paranoid when I realize that tumblr might not be sending my messages through. Seulgi and Baekhyun are just such OTP material and I’m excited for Tiffany and Jaebum. I love the rocky, unstable aspects of our two ships so far. It’s fresh and new and doesn’t scare me because I know in the end it’ll be okay for them~ I’m excited to see where they go in 2018!

@hvllelujah

Sweetheart! I sure hope you’re taking care of yourself. Color in a Hello Kitty coloring book for me, okay? Heehee~ I miss you and I really truly do hope you’re doing well. I know the last time we talked, you were getting life figured out which honestly is a full time job in itself. Remember, any time you wanna talk or need someone to just listen, I’m here. Our rping hasn’t exactly been a thing and once upon a time it really upset me but I’ve tried to grow up and be a big girl about things like that. Especially now that I’m gaining perspective and know how hard it is to keep up when all you wanna do is focus on other things. I’m sorry I ever made things difficult for you. I hope you can forgive me. I just really loved your writing and I wanted to be a part of it. But having matured over time, I really do hope you’re taking care of yourself and doing what’s best for you~ You be good, okay? Heehee.

@xvrwxrld

Whines I hope you’re taking care of yourself, sweet pea. You know how much I worry about you. Overworking yourself or living in conditions less than healthy. Stay warm this winter. I wish I could mail you a bunch of blankets. My grandmother made me a ton that I could give you. We’ve had our fun moments though, haven’t we? Time and schedules always seem to get in our way of rping. But I’ll never forget what you told me not too long ago. How you enjoyed my muses and thought they were wonderful. That’ll always mean a lot to me and I still blush like an idiot over it. I often worry that my girls are too....out there and weird. Haha. So thank you for taking the time to admire each one of them. I’ll always treasure that. One day we’ll get to plot and rp. I don’t know when, but it’s gonna happen. Count on it!

@avtvmnwings

I miss you, dear. I hope you’re okay and enjoying life~ Hopefully life is treating you well. It’s been awhile since we last spoke but I still think about you and I still try to watch over you from afar. We’ve had a lot of fun and exciting rps though, ne? You’re a great writer and I don’t ever want you forgetting that. Our out of character conversations were always enjoyable and heartfelt. I treasure those moments because you were able to open up to me and I appreciate that. More than you’ll know. You take care of yourself, okay? Be good and stay strong. You’re doing a wonderful job. Heehee~

[thank-your-lucky-stars]

I’m about to post a mammoth essay about the Roles of Fandom, but just to prove that I’m not a total hypocrite who isn’t immune to the Fandom Game, I’m going to tell you the roles that I myself have played in fandoms over the years - and trust me, some of this is really ugly!!

I can actually say I’ve fit into several of the Roles I list in my post, at one time or another. I have been the Popular Blog (the nicer-version, I hope!), but I’ve also been a bit of a Troublemaker too (not in an extreme way, and only from time to time; I have definitely said slightly provocative things about a certain band or band member who I believed to be problematic in order to stir up a little debate. It was never about hurting or offending people personally, but it was definitely in order to get people talking.) I have been a “I’m Just Here to have a Good Time” blog, but I’ve never really been a Fence Sitter, although I guess there have been times where I may have dabbled in that area. I also tried to be The Peacekeeper, but....that never really worked out for me, that was definitely a forced role and not something I slipped into naturally, even though I am someone who strives for peace, that specifics of that role definitely wasn’t for me.

I have, however, been a Mean Girl. I wasn’t actually mean to anyone, but I was a part of a group that could be rather unpleasant (they weren’t like hardcore Mean Girls, but they had a vibe and could be cold and bitchy, although as far as I’m aware and can remember, they were never openly nasty to anyone (that I know of?), not like the more extreme level of Mean Girls) however, they could behave in ways that weren’t cool and even though I was never really a part of that aspect, being friends with them certainly didn’t make me innocent. Who you associate with speaks volumes, and if people judged me for who I was mates with at that time then I do not blame them for that, because by being friends with these people - being a part of their gang - I was enabling some of the more unpleasant aspects of the group, even if I didn’t agree with them. 

They were a clique, they had an edge, and I was kinda fascinated by it, which is why I somehow managed to get involved. It was very much a game to me from the start, it just took me a while to realise it. It was a toxic and manipulative environment, even after we left the forum where we met (this was long before the days of tumblr), and confined ourselves to an AIM chat. We literally named ourselves ‘The World’s Most Hated AIM Group’. It actually got worse then. The in-fighting and the power-playing and manipulation was gross, and I definitely played my part in that.

With a few of the girls in particular, it was sort of a fight to be the alpha-female of the group. It was feisty and filled with drama. I literally barely saw it as something that was real, it all seemed completely fake, like it was just all pretend - a game of make believe, if you will - because it was all so extreme and ridiculous and dramatic. These were mostly American girls, and they knew drama like no other. I wanted these people to be my friends because I kinda found it all entertaining, and incidentally I became closest to the worst one of the lot - she was the Queen Bitch™ for sure, a really nasty, manipulative girl. I didn’t trust my instincts. I went along with it because I was 18 and I was bored and I didn’t have many friends in my real life so I just thought it would be fun to be a part of something, even if it was a part of something with a bunch of people I barely even liked (one or two of them were alright actually).

I was actually already popular within that fandom (the MCR fandom) at that point (2007) and had been for over a year, but things had gotten a little stale and I was getting a little bored, which is why I wanted to sort of mix with these people who were as much fascinating as they were awful. It was only after I got out of it (after being absolutely ripped to shreds - publicly! - by the Queen Bitch - the one I had a rather bizarre relationship with) that I realised just how fucked up it all was, just how fucked up I had been to view something that ended up being so damaging to me as being a game. I mean, it was a game, but it certainly wasn’t a fun one.

I definitely had people distance themselves from me during the time I associated with those girls. My other fandom friends would say “that [Queen Bitch] can be so horrible” and I’d be like “yeah, I know.” Yet I’d still talk to her every single night. That made me fake, I didn’t pay attention to how it made other people feel by mixing with these people, and looking back that was 100% my bad. As a result of this, I am definitely somebody who judges people by the company they keep; be it in fandom, or in the real world. People were right to judge me or turn their backs on me, as I was enabling these people by “hanging out with them”, even though I knew they were shitty. My loyalty lied in the wrong place. I should’ve turned my back but I was ignorant at best and fucking stupid at worst. On some levels you could say I knew what I was doing, but I was a pretty messed up kid at the time and the biggest thing I learnt from that period was that I just desperately wanted difficult people to love me.

I only realised this a couple of years ago actually. I used to see someone edgy, popular, cool, stand-offish, and I’d make it my mission to “break” them, to make them care about me, when it seemed like they literally didn’t really care about anyone else. That’s what I did with the Queen Bitch. I wanted to be close to her because she appeared untouchable, because she wasn’t generally nice to people, and I wanted to be the exception. I suppose I wanted to make her not as much of a bitch anymore, I wanted to “fix” (ugh) her and make her nicer. And I said all the right things, things I didn’t mean, until I got her calling me her “best friend”. And when that wasn’t enough, I went even further. There’s stuff I won’t talk about, that I’ve never really spoken about, but it was so so messed up and while it taught me so much about myself and about other people and about fandom, it’s also something I’m pretty ashamed of to be honest.

But this was something that sort of went outside of fandom. Like I said, we eventually were banned left the forum where we met/were based, the most popular forum in the MCR fandom from 2005-2007, so it sort of went beyond fandom politics by the end. But that’s how we got there in the first place. There were power games at play right from the start.

I completely changed after that. I literally changed my hair and my wardrobe and made a new start for myself. That’s how much it affected me. I mean, I grew up, really, and that was the final kick up the bum that made me take steps to being more of the person I wanted to be. I’ve never mixed with shitty people since then. This was 10 whole years ago, so naturally people start to grow in their late teens/early 20s anyway, but I definitely count that period - about 6 months or so, I reckon - as a significant one in my young life.

And fandom led me to that??? The MCR fandom was absolutely wild from 2005-2007. The Black Parade era was insane. We just got so, so huge. Our forum had like 200,000 members or something. There were official monthly awards where everyone would vote in multiple categories; best writer, most helpful user, funniest member etc etc. - I won Best Writer about 4 months in a row, as I wrote a really successful fic. After that I used to win Most Helpful User, as I was a total nerd and knew everything there was to know, to the point where people called me Yoda. I lost that title once I joined the Mean Girls. These 200,000 members didn’t vote for me as much anymore.

So I’ve honestly had a taste of it all? I was at the top and I sort of sacrificed it because I got bored and wanted to spice things up by hanging with total bitches.

And it was years before I joined a fandom again, the Mnkees fandom in 2012, an already well established fandom with 2 or 3 very significant/popular blogs. I was there for the longest of any of my fandoms to be honest, before it sort of went to shit last year due to trolling. 

And my most recent fandom, the ED fandom, I wasn’t really a full-on, active member for long enough to really find myself in an established role. 

But like....I have definitely seen things from a lot of different perspectives, and I’m able to finish writing my essay about all the general roles within fandom a year after I initially started it, because I’m not currently in a fandom so I can sort of look at things from a neutral point of view and not be influenced by any current goings-on. 

But yeah, I just wanted to make it clear that I’m definitely unbiased when it comes to certain fandom behaviour as I myself have done some questionable shit in the past. I was young when I fucked up the most, and was able to grow, but while I know sometimes some people are sort of beyond getting past certain shit, it is also my belief that everyone has the ability to change and better themselves if their heart is in it.

Anyway I’m going to shut up as I’ve been writing for like two days straight LOL

[fifty-shades-of-succ]

Questions 1-154 please?

Full name - Ebony M

Zodiac sign - Libra

3 Fears - Snakes, the ocean, rejection

3 things I love - ma lads, sport and video games

4 turns ons - beaming smile thats full of emotion and joy, eyes, being respectful and having manners, and being funny as fuck

4 turns offs - lack of hygeine, sexist, dull as a doorknob, racist

My best friend - I cant choose the closest out of them but Cal or Luke

Sexual orientation - its an utter mystery

My best first date - Cruise ship in hawaii with just Ally and Erich

How tall am I - 165cm

What do I miss
 - Year 10

What time were I born
 - 22:22

Favourite colour - Black purple and orange

Do I have a crush
 - YA

Favourite quote
 - The mask you wear serves its purpose well, but be careful not to lose yourself in it.

Favourite place
 - My house when I’m home alone. Or anywhere where my best friends are

Favourite food
 - Pasta

Do I use sarcasm
 - Yeah I do just not as much as I used to

What am I listening to right now
 - .....Lazy town ‘We are number one’ Dank version

First thing I notice in new person
 - Smile and eyes

Shoe size
 - Anywhere from a 6-8

Eye colour
 - Grey

Hair colour
 - Rn its a lil purple/red, but naturally its brown

Favourite style of clothing
 - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk

Ever done a prank call?
 - Yeah, I think so

What colour of underwear I’m wearing now?
 BLACK

Meaning behind my URL
 - who fuckin knows

Favourite movie
 - Kingsman, or the breakfast club

Favourite song
 - Heartbeat, or Electric Love

Favourite band
 - I dont reeeaally have one but maybe Bastille?

How I feel right now
 - Great

Someone I love
 - my friends

My relationship with my parents
 - SHITTY AS ALL FUCk

Favourite holiday
 - Hawaii

Tattoos and piercings?
 - None, except a piercing in each ear lobe

Tattoos and piercing i want
 - None

The reason I joined Tumblr
 - Everyone said to

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
 Yea!!

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
 Nope

When did I last hold hands?
 Uh....cant remember

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
 Hmm..an hour and a bit usually, maybe an hour and a half

Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?
 I dont shave, I wax

Where am I right now?
 In bed

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
 Cal and Kenzie probably, they did a good job of it at the deb after party hahahaha

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
 Depends

Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
 Through the week, my father, but on the weekend both

Am I excited for anything?
 Running seshs with friends, a party with the meme friends and then a outing I have with my best friend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
 Yea

How often do I wear a fake smile?
 Always when Im around people I dont trust :)

When was the last time I hugged someone?
 Today

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
 Never kissed really

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
 Yeah definitely.

What is something I disliked about today?
 One small thing went bad and everything I’ve been suppressing hit me at once

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
 My soulmate

What do I think about most?
 Love i guess

What’s my strangest talent?
 I can text extremely fast without looking at the screen

Do I have any strange phobias?
 Uh the ocean I guess

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both are equal

What was the last lie I told?
 Nah I’m totally chill with my evening plans being ruined

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
 Video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
 Both, yes

Do I believe in magic? Nah

Do I believe in luck?
 Yea

What’s the weather like right now?
 Uhhh cold

What was the last book I’ve read?
 The second CHERUB book

Do I like the smell of gasoline?
 What

Do I have any nicknames?
 Ebs, m9, fam, chocolat THUN-DA #catinthehat

What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
 Smashed my head open on the playground in year 1

Do I spend money or save it?
 I save it

Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
 No

Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
 Yeah, my toucan lamp!

Favourite animal?
 Owl! Or toucan!!

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
 Watching the avengers with a friend

What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
 Uh lol skip

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
 Electric love, out of my league

How can you win my heart?
 Being nice and complimenting me on everything and talking to me properly

What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
 ‘We are number one *DROP IT*’

What is my favourite word
 - Soup, vanilla, crunch

My top 5 blogs on tumblr
 - @dont-drop-your-ascots @u-wanna-go-m9 @you-was-only-for-yourself @setheverman and then any Danganronpa blogs

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
 BE FUCKIN NICE! AND MATURE!

Do I have any relatives in jail?
 No

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
 Teleportation or pretty much a glass or neon conduit

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
 

What is my current desktop picture?
 Lots of corny love quote shit

Had sex?
 No

Bought condoms?
 No

Gotten pregnant?
 No

Failed a class?
 No

Kissed a boy?
 No

Kissed a girl?
 No

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
 No

Had job?
 Hehehehe had job. No

Left the house without my wallet?
 Yea

Bullied someone on the internet?
 No

Had sex in public?
 No

Played on a sports team?
 Yea

Smoked weed?
 No

Did drugs?
 No

Smoked cigarettes?
 No

Drank alcohol?
 Like a sip

Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
 No

Been overweight?
 No

Been underweight?
 Yes

Been to a wedding?
 Yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
 Every day

Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
 Yeah

Been outside my home country?
 Yes

Gotten my heart broken?
 Yes

Been to a professional sports game?
 Yes

Broken a bone?
 No

Cut myself?
 Yes

Been to prom?
 Well Deb is the equivalent so yea

Been in airplane?
 Yes

Fly by helicopter?
 Yes

What concerts have I been to?
 owl city!!

Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
 No

Learned another language?
 Yes

Wore make up?
 Yes

Lost my virginity before I was 18?
 No

Had oral sex?
 No

Dyed my hair?
 Yes

Voted in a presidential election?
 No

Rode in an ambulance?
 No

Had a surgery?
 No

Met someone famous?
 I dont think I have

Stalked someone on a social network?
 Heheheheh yes

Peed outside?
 Uhhhh hasnt everyone??

Been fishing?
 Yes

Helped with charity?
 Yes

Been rejected by a crush?
 Every time

Broken a mirror?
 Yes

What do I want for birthday?
 A vacation or a proper pc or a proper set of headphones

How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
 None

Was I named after anyone?
 No

Do I like my handwriting?
 No

What was my favourite toy as a child? Beanie kids

Favourite Tv Show?
 Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Where do I want to live when older?
 Melbourne

Play any musical instrument?
 No

One of my scars, how did I get it?
 I fell out of bed and smashed my eyebrow on the bedside table

Favourite pizza toping?
 Bacon

Am I afraid of the dark?
 Yes

Am I afraid of heights?
 A little

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
 Yea tot he second, no to the first

Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Every time

What I’m really bad at
 - Maths

What my greatest achievements are
 - IT games programming award and Cisco award (hehehehe)

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
 - Essentially ‘you’re the reason everything is bad’, and ‘you will never be seen as pretty or acceptable for anyone’

What I’d do if I won in a lottery
 - bank half and give one quarter of it to my family and then the other quarter to charity

What do I like about myself
 - I can sometimes be funny

My closest Tumblr friend
 - @dont-drop-your-ascots

Something I fantasise about my ex - idk

Thanks for the ask! I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO BOLD IT ALL thanks lads

[haaaaaaaarrrry]

1-155 and what's your opinion on feet?

1: Name::  Lucy2: Age::   203: 3 Fears::  birds, planes, men4: 3 things I love::  babies, Kit Kats, and feeling loved5: 4 turns on::  intelligence, kindness, an acoustic guitar, someone older6: 4 turns off::  immaturity, arrogance, being super loud?, right wing7: My best friend:: Lillian 8: Sexual orientation::  hetero9: My best first date::  I’ve never really been taken out on a first date 10: How tall am I:: 5′811: What do I miss::  not caring about my weight12: What time were I born::  my mom doesn’t even remember I'm her last kid and she was forty13: Favourite color::  pink is my signature color14: Do I have a crush::  yes and no15: Favourite quote::  “ho but make it fashion” Tyra Banks16: Favourite place::  my best friend’s presence17: Favourite food::  Mac and cheese18: Do I use sarcasm::  idk u tell me19: What am I listening to right now:: the winner of the 2018 AOTY Grammy Award: Divide20: First thing I notice in new person::  whether or not they’re nice21: Shoe size::  822: Eye color::  brown23: Hair color:: dark brown. just dyed it.24: Favourite style of clothing::  ho but fashion25: Ever done a prank call?::  loads of times27: Meaning behind my URL:: well Tenerife SEA but my name rhymes so Tenerife LU-sea was born but no one got it so Tenerife-lucy28: Favourite movie::  Dirty Dancing29: Favourite song:: of all time, Tiny Dancer. Currently, Happier.30: Favourite band:: GNR sun31: How I feel right now::  sad32: Someone I love::  my dad33: My current relationship status::  single as a Pringle m834: My relationship with my parents:: lovely35: Favourite holiday:: thanksgiving36: Tattoos and piercing I have::  nose and my pine tree37: Tattoos and piercing I want:: I don’t want any more piercings but I do want the word wild on my butt38: The reason I joined Tumblr::  does anyone actually know39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?::  I don’t know how he feels about me but ask my therapist40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?::  does my mom count41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?::  no42: When did I last hold hands?::  romantically? in December 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?:: too damn long44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?:: no lmao45: Where am I right now?::  a state of loneliness and self loathing46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?:: Nora 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? ::   loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? ::  no49: Am I excited for anything?::  October 6th binch50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?::  yes51: How often do I wear a fake smile?:: 88% of the time52: When was the last time I hugged someone?::  earlier today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?::  I wouldn’t be alarmed54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?::  um I don’t really trust anyone except my parents so55: What is something I disliked about today?::  I messed up my nails right after I painted them56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?::  Singer Songwriter Edward Christopher Sheeran57: What do I think about most?::  my weight58: What’s my strangest talent?::  I can eat a lollipop with my toes59: Do I have any strange phobias?:: birds? is that strange60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?::  behind61: What was the last lie I told?::  I have no idea62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:: talking on the phone I don’t like to see myself63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? :: yes yes64: Do I believe in magic?:: duh65: Do I believe in luck?:: yeppers66: What's the weather like right now?::  cold as a witch’s teet67: What was the last book I've read?:: Madame Bovary68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?:: weirdly yes69: Do I have any nicknames?::  Lu, Luc, Lu-Bug, Lucyfer, edsheeran.daddy6970: What was the worst injury I've ever had?::  I hurt my back once and could hardly move71: Do I spend money or save it?::  spend 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?::  no73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?::  my blankie74: Favourite animal?:: cat cats75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?:: watching ANTM76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?::  Moore77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?:: One Call Away78: How can you win my heart?::  by being Ed Sheeran79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?::  here lies a dramatic hoe who loved y’all binches80: What is my favorite word? ::  actually. I say it all the time81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @knox-on-eds-wood @weareedsobfg ((I'm cheating and grouping y’all all in one) @tea-and-toblerones @gay-romantics @lordedsheeran82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? :: she won the popular vote83: Do I have any relatives in jail?:: not that I know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?:: healing people85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?::  do you practice what you preach86: What is my current desktop picture?::  my baby niece87: Had sex?::  yah88: Bought condoms?::  yah89: Gotten pregnant?::  no90: Failed a class?::  no but almost91: Kissed a boy?::  yah92: Kissed a girl?::  no93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?::  yah94: Had job?:: ye had job95: Left the house without my wallet?::  who hasn’t96: Bullied someone on the internet?::  not unless you count repeatedly using the phrase daddy and grossing out @ownerandwriterofedsnnnnggghhhh and @purplelunarmoth97: Had sex in public?::  no98: Played on a sports team?::  MARCHING BAND IS A SPORT 99: Smoked weed?::  yah100: Did drugs?::  no101: Smoked cigarettes?::  no102: Drank alcohol?::  yah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?::  I wish104: Been overweight?::  in my opinion105: Been underweight?::  in the doctor’s opinion106: Been to a wedding?::  bitch I been in three smh107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?::  this damn website108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?::  yah109: Been outside my home country?::  no110: Gotten my heart broken?::  yah111: Been to a professional sports game?::  surprisingly yes and I was horribly hungover112: Broken a bone?::  no113: Cut myself?::  not purposely114: Been to prom?::  twice and it was two of the worst nights of my life115: Been in airplane?::  god yes116: Fly by helicopter? ::  no I need Christian Grey lulz

117: What concerts have I been to? Cheetah Girls, Hannah Montana, Rascal Flatts, Metallica, Paramore, Amos Lee x3, Carole King and James Taylor, Mason Jennings, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Guns N Roses, Keith Urban, I think that’s it

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?::  nah119: Learned another language?::  ugh I'm trying it’s so hard120: Wore make up?::   every damn day hoe121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?::  I feel attacked122: Had oral sex?::  I feel very attacked123: Dyed my hair?::  so many times124: Voted in a presidential election?::  yes125: Rode in an ambulance?::  yes126: Had a surgery?::  yes127: Met someone famous?::  yes128: Stalked someone on a social network?:: psshhh 129: Peed outside?:: peeing in bodies of water is one of the great joys of my life130: Been fishing?:: yah131: Helped with charity?:: yah132: Been rejected by a crush?:: indirectly and directly133: Broken a mirror?::  it was awful that’s why I'm cursed134: What do I want for birthday?::  a big booty hoe135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?::  I want probably three. Okay for a girl: Dixie Lee, Tennessee Lily, (she will go by Lily) for a boy: Bennie James (Jim) 136: Was I named after anyone? ::  a Sandra Bullock character137: Do I like my handwriting?::  sometimes 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?::  Full House139: Favourite Tv Show?::  The Office140: Where do I want to live when older?::  in a state of happiness141: Play any musical instrument?::  the piano142: One of my scars, how did I get it?::  I had surgery143: Favourite pizza toping?::  cheese or pepperoni144: Am I afraid of the dark?:: idk kinda145: Am I afraid of heights?::  yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?::  yes lmao147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?::  lol my life148: What I'm really bad at::  being a human149: What my greatest achievments are::  this horrible blog150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me::  can’t repeat it151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery::  give it all to charity after buying bomb ed tickets152: What do I like about myself::  I make other people happy153: My closest Tumblr friend:: um probably @knox-on-eds-wood or @tea-and-toblerones154: Something I fantasise about::  being a stay at home mom to Ed Sheeran’s baby155: Any question you'd like? I do not like them but don’t actively dislike them

[neighbourskid]

Goodbye 2015! You sucked.

(original date: 29 December 2015)

Ah, it is that time of the year again. Christmas is over, the year slowly but surely coming to an end....

And yes, we are doing it again. Looking back on the year, seeing all that wasn't good, everything that sucked. We see it everywhere.

January: 2015 will be my year, I can feel it!

December: Oh, nevermind....

It's all over the social media. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr... we see it everywhere, from everybody.

But this year you will not hear it from me. I do, of course, agree. This year sucked. Most of it really. There were so many shitty things this year. All the killings of black people, the wars all over the world, the incidents in Paris... you name it, it probably happened.

But, as I said, you will not hear any complaining from me. No. I will look back at all the good things that happened this year. And now I should probably stop rambling about what I could do and get started. So, without further ado: My year in, well, I guess, numbers.

2015 in Movies

As you, my dear readers, have without doubt noticed, I have watched a few movies this year. Well, a few is quite understated. All in all I have been to the cinema 30 times since last December. Which, for most people, is a lot. At least most of my friends told me that I was, and I quote here, bonkers, out of my mind, crazy.. you get the feeling. A few also said they could not afford such extravagances. My answer was mostly, "me neither". But I did go, still.

So, here are the numbers. Since last December, I have-

been to the movies 30 times

seen 26 different movies

seen one movie 4 and another 2 times

seen 3 movies in one afternoon & 4 in one week

been to the movies with 14 different people

been to the movies 12 times on my own

been to 16 different cinemas

And those, my dear readers, are the movies I've seen:

Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies | Penguins of Madagascar | Paddington | Imitation Game (2x) | Big Hero 6 | Mortdecai | The Theory of Everything | Into the Woods | Selma | Whiplash | Kingsman | Birdman | Avengers: Age of Ultron (4x) | Pitch Perfect 2 | Spy | Minions | Mr. Holmes | Ant-Man | Paper Towns | The Martian | Spectre 007 | Black Mass | The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 | Irrational Man | Star Wars: The Force Awakens | Bridge of Spies

It was a good year of cinema, I tell you. Very excited for next year. Can't wait to try beating my record. And I tell you, I will try. I will also try and watch the Award ceremonies. And watch the nominated movies beforehand. At least that is the plan.

But enough of movies and cinema now. Let's move on to the next category. Because besides sitting in cinemas all year, I have also read a couple of books. You who read my blog have, of course, noticed that.

2015 in Books

At the beginning of this year I planned to read 50 books for the '2015 Reading Challenge', but I guess I failed.

But I did read, mind you. A lot. For school mostly, but right after I graduated I started reading the books I actually wanted to read, the books I had at home for a long time but never read. I read novels, memoirs, short stories, biographies.. I read a lot. But I think I bought even more.

So I guess, these are my numbers for books. In 2015 I've read-

21 books

around 4.5k pages

13 books for school

7 German ones

11 English ones

3 French ones

This here are the books I've read:

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) | More Fool Me (Stephen Fry) | The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (Douglas Adams) | Die Physiker (Friedrich Dürrenmatt) | Die Weber (Gerhart Hauptmann) | Macht der Drei (Hans Dominik) | Egmont (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe) | Der Sandmann (E.T.A. Hoffmann) | Leben des Galilei (Bertolt Brecht) | The Hound of the Baskervilles (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) | Paris au XX siècle (Jules Verne) | Der Schimmelreiter (Theodor Storm) | La Planète des Singes (Pierre Boulle) | L'An 2440 (Louis-Sébastien Mercier) | Paper Towns (John Green) | You're Never Weird On The Internet (Felicia Day) | Moriarty (Anthony Horowitz) | Before I Go To Sleep (S.J. Watson) | The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared (Jonas Jonasson) | Sherlock - The Casebook (Guy Adams) | The Importance of Being Earnest (Oscar Wilde)

I mostly enjoyed reading the books I read on my own terms. But 'Frankenstein', 'The Hitchhiker's Guide' and 'The Hound of Baskervilles', which I all read for school, were brilliant as well. I loved reading them. They were the most interesting ones I read for school.

'Die Macht der Drei' was honestly one of the worst books I've ever read. While discussing it with my teacher for the presentation I had to have about it, we mostly laughed about how bad it was. The story would have potential, mind you, but it was so badly written. It was horrible to read.

The French ones were acceptable, but I barely understood a thing.

Right now I'm still reading 'The Sherlockian' by Graham Moore (the great chap who wrote the academy award-winning screenplay for "The Imitation Game"), which is a brilliant book as well.

I'm hoping to read more in 2016, trying the challenge again, probably.

Mooooving on now. What else happened in 2015? Humm..... My shitty memory is quite challenging when it comes to such things. Well, how about a top ten of good things that happened? Yeah, sound like a good enough idea.

Top 10 Things of 2015

10.  Getting my teeth. It should probably be further up the list, but idk. It was painful getting them, but it was worth it. I have them now, which is all that counts.

09. Watching the Oscars all alone in my bed, all night long and then going to school without having slept a second. It was a great night. I enjoyed that and I will be doing that again next year. The ceremony really touched me somehow. I loved it.

08. The summer camp "Connected" I helped organizing this year. It was amazing, we had a great time. And if you wanna know more about it, read the blog post I made about it.

07. Having made sure that my friend and I can go to San Diego next summer, around time for Comic-Con. I feel like this should be way up the list, but it's just the planning. I know that if I make a list at the end of 2016 it will grace the top of the list. It will probably be the list. But the planning alone is already motivating me like nothing else.

06. Probably graduating from my school? Like, that I made it, that I did not fail. It wasn't a particularly nice event, but hey, it happened. So the three years of, well, suffering, were worth it. I had fun at some of the exams, but that was an exception.

05. I went to the Europa Park in Germany with my friend and we had the best time ever. It was so much fun, I tell you. It was great being away from everything for two days and just enjoying the moment, being there without having to please any people, being able to just be ourselves. Sigh, I miss it.

04. The week me and my classmates spent in Calella, Spain the week after graduation. We had an amazing time there. It was a beautiful goodbye to these people. I really enjoyed myself there. It was great.

03. Going to the Cinema so much...I think. Yeah. It was great. I really liked that. I love the feeling of sitting among strangers, experiencing the same thing for 2.5 hours and then leaving. Not alone. But somehow as a group. It inspires me. Really does.

02. I will put 'Warner Bros. Studio Tour: The Making of Harry Potter' on this place, because as much as it hurt my heart being there, as much as the nostalgic feeling was killing me inside...it was a truly amazing experience and I loved every second of it. It showed me what a tremendous impact Harry Potter had on my life, my childhood. J.K. Rowling formed so much of my life with her books. And I am very grateful for that. I nearly broke down into tears in the café of the studio, but it was....sigh, amazing. Truly was.

01. I knoooooooow it sound incredibly cheesy to put this on my place 1 of the top ten things that happened this year....but it was kinda the highlight. It really was. So, as you know, I've been to London this fall to watch Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet. And as brilliant as the play was (AND IT WAS ASTONISHING), my highlight happened three days later, when I went back to the Barbican, stood in the cold for what felt like forever to meet Benedict. And having this incredible man stand an arm's length away from me, smiling and looking at me was most definitely the best thing that happened this year.

Now that I have rambled on for, like, forever I will end this looking back post, with looking forward. Because that is something we all should do: Look forward. Not back. Don't dwell on past things. Don't drag yourself down for something that didn't work out the way you planned it. Look to the future. Keep moving forward!

The things I look forward to in 2016 are quite a few, I tell you. And I'd rather think about them, than about all the bad things that happened in 2015.

In 2016 I look forward to going to Letters Live! in March with a few of my friends. I look forward to maybe visiting my grandma's hometown in Italy. I look forward to our team weekend in February, our teenager party in April. I look forward to the two weeks my friend and I will be spending in San Diego next July. I look forward to meeting Zachary Levi. I look forward to starting my studies next Fall. I look forward  to... 2016. And hopefully it will be a good year. Hopefully our world will come to good terms with itself. Hopefully some wars will end. Hopefully the refugee crisis will get a good solution. Hopefully, we can all be the best versions of ourselves. Hopefully we get to fulfil our dreams. Hopefully this will be our year!

And with that, my dear friends and readers, I wish you all a happy new year. I hope it will indeed be a happy new year for you.

With love,

Alex

[rejectrhynnblog-blog]

About: Reject Rhynn

Introduction

Hey! I’m Rhynn, the author of Reject Rhynn. This is a blog I will be writing on as a part-time job. I have big dreams and high hopes for this blog. I will work hard to make quality content regardless of my lack of experience in the blogging community. I am an average writer but I did think about blogging for a while in the past but dropping the idea instantly. I also stopped regularly writing for leisure 2 years ago; though I did expand my world on writing in those 2 years, I really haven’t had a good concept in a while. I usually write romance-drama fiction but this isn’t going to stop me from writing this blog, and learning to become a better writer in the process.

Blog Schedule

This blog will be composed of 2 different blog series: the 1st will be mainly on analysing stories and ideas I had as a young writer but will be divided into sub-series, and the 2nd is about my Mental Health journey. As of right now, I have 2 sub-series planned to release for my 1st blog series called, Journey from the Past (a small tribute to the hit live musical Anastasia). I will take the topic discussed on the post that was released right before it, and expand it by discussing the development of my mental state from the past to the present with the blog series called, Emotion’s Game.

Schedule (unless announced on Twitter):

Debut Post on my Patreon, Tumblr and Facebook Page: March 2, 2020

Journey from the Past, The Blog Series: every first Monday of the month

Emotion’s Game, The Blog Series: every third Monday of the month

Exclusive Livestream (for all Patrons {after 20 Patrons}): TBA on Twitter 7 days before

Exclusive Content (for Patrons: Official Believers and Reject Fam): TBA

Early Access (for Patrons: Reject Fam): every last Monday of the month before posting

Exclusive Monthly Life Deep Dive (for Patrons: Reject Fam): TBA

History in Writing

I really don’t have much experience with writing or editing. I just really do it for leisure. I never really sold a work or worked for any organization, company or anybody for that matter. I did have a few published short stories/fanfiction on Wattpad but those things make me cringe and I would appreciate it if no one looked for it. I have at least a hundred unpublished and unfinished works and ideas, some written on random notebooks, some written on loose papers in a folder kept under my bed, some are in my laptop, and some got lost as time flew by.

History with Mental Health

Let’s set something straight, I am not in any way, shape or form, a Mental Health professional I am not here to give out advice,  and maybe even my story can be a sample of a do not do story; but it is totally fine if by chance you feel like sharing your story to me or my audience. Yes, I don’t go through much in the physical world aspect but I do have troubles of my own within myself. I am seeing my own psychiatrist so no need to worry. I am a Mental Health Awareness advocate. I don’t agree with any stigma that other people seem to think is true, but I do have my own opinions, whether popular or unpopular it maybe, it is only formed based on the experience I had. Other than that, I tend to stick to facts from multiple sources and testimonials. I like to ask and do research before assuming things, and I hope that you as my audience will too be open to asking questions and clarifications before assuming the worst or best.

Note

I do come out as problematic to people from my past but I will do my best to stir away from drama. I will write the full truth even if it meant bruising my reputation, as to show that I am not perfect in any way and that though I try my best I still do mess up sometimes. I will never write about anyone in my life or name drop them in this blog, though if I am recalling a past experience I will not name anyone or even mention their connection with me. If there is sensitive content to be posted, I will send out a note with its warnings before posting the work. I will make sure to write the warnings first in the post besides the title, and include appropriate hotlines for the specific topic as the end of the blog post.

My Plans

My initial plan for this blog is very simple: share my story, make people aware, and inspire the people who need it most.  I really don’t expect to blow up overnight but I will work hard to reach my goals for this blog. I do have a Patreon (with great benefits if I may add) to help me fund the development of my blog. I am not requiring anyone to contribute to Patreon since my blog post will be very public, but I am offering exclusive content, exclusive votes and suggestions, exclusive access to posts, exclusive livestreams, early access to my posts and if you’re interested in my life, a monthly vlog composed of things I did and updates during the prior .

I have a few plans up my sleeve:

35 Patrons – I will set up a basic website where all my blogs will be found and hopefully be organized.

100 Patrons – I will hire a cast member to upgrade and possibly maintain my website. (including proper credits)

150 Patrons – I will hire a cast member to help me brainstorm and edit my works. (including proper credits)

200 Patrons – I will hire a cast member to be the official illustrator. (including proper credits)

250 Patrons – I will consider selling merchandise and maybe sending a few samples of merch to my Patrons.

500 Patrons – If in high demand, I’ll start a podcast (with an additional segment interviewing one member from my beloved Reject Fam. Also Contributors and Believers will be free to suggest and vote for topic ideas for the podcast).

Cast Member(s)

I call them cast members as a tribute to my love for theatre, also I see them like my equals because they are as important or even more than me when it comes to this blog. I will hire cast members with little to no experience but with a burning passion for the required job and/or mental health awareness. I’ll also accept volunteers, if any would like to join in on the fun.

RHYNN PUNSALAN (OWNER, Executive Producer)

ROBERT PUNSALAN (VOLUNTEER: Editor, Consultant, Accountant, Overall Supportive Father) - As of right now, I am only starting the blogs, so I do get most, if not all of my support from my family and friends. (BTW: Thank you so much)

The Reoccurring Colours (Green and White/Silver)

It’s nothing original and sentimental, I just find this specific type of green to be quite aesthetically pleasing to the eye with white or silver. Also, a tribute to the only book series I read for leisure, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling, and the first podcast I listened to and got me into podcasts and the art of it, Potterless by Mike Schubert. They are in no way, shape or form sponsoring me or working with me (though I would love to be part of Potterless). Basically the Green and White/Silver is the house that was given to me by Pottermore (now known as Wizarding World) and I gave myself after binge watching the movies a couple of years it all came out, and being labelled Hufflepuff by someone in my class without explain to me what it was (no offense to the Hufflepuffs, I just am not one), Slytherin.

Breathe and Stay Alive

I’ll be honest, I said to myself (when making my welcoming note), “I badly need a catchphrase,” so I went through a few random papers and notebooks looking for a phrase I can use to end my posts with, since I really don’t know what will be award-winning to my audience just yet. Upon the many phrases and quotes I wrote down, only a handful were positive enough to be put in a blog (without any context) about mental health awareness. I found a short, not even long enough to be a prose, paragraph, I wrote down on the blackboard of my classroom during lunchtime that I made my friend copy before the bell rang. It was titled “Breathe” and it had something to do with a corrupt government and the ending statement went along the lines of, “to stay alive.” I liked the irony of using a phrase of the bad guy from my story and put a positive connotation to it, so I used it.